#i love finding out about other people's oc's

[chevvy-yates]

Sending out kudos to everyone who has shown their love towards Ryder for the past two years.

I love u all very much and every engagement, be it even just a like, means a lot to me.

I've intended to sorta make a cool post of some older vp of him as of today, September 17th, exactly 2 years ago I have created Ryder,— back then as a supposed supportive character for Vijay, very unsure if I would like him as Ry didn't visually turn out as I wanted him to be in the first place and he never went that way either afterwards — yet I find myself writing those lines instead.

I've accepted his look and his imperfection started to grow on me with each picture I took of him. Unlike my other ocs he went his own way leading me along to discover his personality. That's what makes him so different compared to my other blorbos and has me so attached to him.

I did not plan to make him a raver (he was supposed to become an 80s goth punk, a total different style than he's got now) neither that he would end up with a rogue AI controlling him. Only his name, basic info and the toxic family story was planned right from the beginning but that's pretty much it – Ryder showed me the rest of it.

Within the year 2023 I noticed more and more that Ryder has slowly but surly turned out to be my main character.

He turned out to be the most expressive and photogenic one of them all. I don't see him as the prettiest looking either yet he's my most precious and I love every pixel about him.

He's the one thing in my life I am actually truly 100% proud of.

Almost all my ocs exist because of him. They are his support characters. Without him half of them would not even exist. There would be no Thyjs. Even Garnet exists so Ry can live out his passion (that was not really put into the game but exists as lore: Technoise).

I am beyond happy to have created him.

He helps me in a lot of rather personal ways too I do not need to address here.

I got so much to tell about him (also about my other ocs) yet idk if I should continue or not as I find myself stuck with overthinking about it bc of lack of public response literally everywhere (this excludes private chat talks with close friends). Maybe Ryder's too intimidating (not the first time I would read that), his lore gets overlooked easily, or it's to much (confusing) text.

I cannot make anyone force-like him. Tastes are different. Minority is into others oc lore. Less time to read it all. The list is long. I'm aware of it all.

But I cannot underline it enough: do never hesitate to ask me questions about him. He's on my mind 24/7 and my biggest wish is to get this story out and done some day (whenever it will be) and receive some actual feedback on it what was liked.

Just a tiny detail is enough. <3

Another wish I have ever since I joined the CP77 fandom: that people would go back to comment each other more. We all do have little time for it, we all think "oh no so much text to read", we all are in our own bubbles rarley coming out to explore another bubble within this universe. It takes a lot of effort to do. people do seem scared on top to write anything at all for numerous reasons. I have all those problems as well. But I try to sit down and read the one or other lore chunk others wrote down and give a tiny comment as best as I can to make the creator have a smile on their lips. I truly wish we all would do this at least once a week to one person. once a month would be also fine. But if we don't this fandom will be dead soon enough and all thats left is just liking vp with characters on it we know almost nothing about. And maybe even those characters won't have lore anymore bc people stop creating it.

[lovesickshell]

"OMG i stole someone's phone! It is mine now!! And just finding out this app makes everything interesting and new!! Tell me what do i do here? Should i just watch people talk? OH! Maybe making friends with people around here?! I'm so excited to start!!!💞💞"

NOTE ;; This is an AU Roleplay account. Feel free to interact with Shelly, and only her. Dandy's world oc, Roleplay account or other AUs are allowed to interact.

SITUATION

This is an Alternative universe of Shelly having the Lovesick Effect. The Lovesick effect only affects people whom constantly feeling down, angry, ETC, and can be Permanent if untreated.

The ones who are Affected by this are; Shelly, Shrimpo, Dazzle (Razzle isn't affected.) and Astro.

INFORMATION

Dazzle is the first Toon/Mascot to get Lovesick in the first place, Lastly Astro to get Lovesick at the end.

Lovesick can spread throughout in physical contact, or in emotional. And can changes people minds constantly in place and mess with their brain causing them to act all Lovely-Dovey to the ones they are close with only.

Shrimpo's attention is all over Goob and Boxten, Not knowing that they might be the next toon to get affected when in contact with.

Astro is still a quiet Toon/Mascot, But more likely happier than before. Dandy are avoiding him at some point to avoid being Affected by Lovesick which causing Astro constantly feeling a bit Heartbroken. Luckily, Shelly is always there to make him feel loved.

Dazzle cries often of being constantly Heartbroken. Razzle helps him calm down alot to avoid being constantly heartbroken when being ignored, Even though Razzle cannot understand Lovesick Effects of someone's actions. (No. They are not in love or whatsoever, They are more like Brothers to each other.)

Shelly REALLY loves to be around with Vee and Tisha. Even when Vee constantly push her away, She doesn't give up nonetheless. Tisha also keeps her distant to avoid being Affected, but sometimes talks to her to engage in conversation to let her know more about Shelly in the state.

CHART OF RELATIONSHIP

Shrimpo/Astro ; They do not get along at all. No reason, But Astro have reasons that he cannot express.

Astro/Dazzle ; They get along pretty well! They talk alot and express their feelings, Constantly greeting in sight to maintain friendliness towards each other!

Dazzle/Shelly ; They get along pretty fine. But at some point whenever Shelly sees Dazzle in such a state she would think Dazzle is too naive to find someone loveable. While Dazzle seeing Shelly get constantly pushed away, He often thinks that she's being pushy to others. But nonetheless, They do get along pretty fine.

Shelly/Shrimpo ; Shrimpo does NOT like how Shelly is being a pushover while Shelly thinks that Shrimpo is overreacting how she gives love in different ways. Shelly often thinks she would get along pretty well with Shrimpo if he didn't constantly judging her pushy behavior.

Shrimpo/Dazzle ; Shrimpo sometimes thinks Dazzle needs to behave and stop being too naive to give out love to people, yet feel bad and wonder why he always like this. For Dazzle, He sees Shrimpo always thinks about how he is naive, but Dazzle does not see that way and reassure Shrimpo that he is ok.

Astro/Shelly ; Astro thinks that Shelly is okay. And Shelly thinks Astro is cool!

Feel free to interact with Shelly! She is 'new' here in Tumblr afterall!

[desultory-novice]

Opinions on you as a person? Well... I don't really know you that well... But based off of what I see here... You're very nice, you work hard, very passionate about the Kirbyverse! You do your best to accommodate everyone, answering every question! Not to mention, very supportive of other creators! I'd say you're pretty cool!

What spurred this on?

Aghh! /pos Thank you...

Thank you to everyone because ALL of you wrote really nice things?!? I really do have a skewed view of myself, I guess... No one even said I needed to work harder on all the stuff I say I will do and then don't ever seem to do in good time >.>;;

(Speaking of, to the anon who specifically said they want to see me stream on Twitch again, that is a VERY good idea and I would love to!! That sounds like a great time and I could use the fun. I would also...haha... I would LOVE to stream myself going through the WHOLE series so we can talk cool Kirby facts together!!)

-

I guess I was feeling conflicted because another round of the Kirby OC Tournament is upon us and I kinda want to...cheer for my OC and produce more content of him (he's back to rotating in my head, rotisserie chicken style) but...I've been doing that non-stop for MONTHS already!! ^^;; And I also MISS being the kind of Kirby blog that went on weird drunken rants about Dark Crafter and other canon characters! (Or gave precious time to my beloved OTP...)

I worried people, even people invested in the tourney, might think I'm being flaky or self-absorbed for wanting to give my OC just a little more attention... (I'm also struggling to find the right way to do so! I have a LOT of roleplay-related anxieties + having a grimdark angst puppy OC doesn't help. And even though I have been dipping my toes in, I worry maybe I'm just more cut out for solo writing...?)

...But either way, I expect OC content to drop off naturally once the tourney is over in October (this will be my "one" first-and-last OC experiment too) so I suppose it's not that much of a wait anyway!

-

Also, maybe we'll get some other kind of !surprise! big Kirby news in the meantime that will put my head back on straight! XD

[unanswered-stars]

Thank you so much for tagging me @jules-writes-stories @highlordofkrypton @achaotichuman

1. How many works do you have on AO3? I'm a but a wee babe in the ao3 world so just 7 but I have several WIP's that are on pause currently. I had originally had a fic planned for each day of Eris week but haven't been able to write in awhile so might be some time before those are published but once I start posting again you can expect Eris chaos to reign.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count? 36,487 I struggle to write long chapters and most of my works end up being around 2,500.

3. What fandoms do you write for? A Court of Thorns and Roses

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Shadows of Regret and Redemption| Azris - My first published work. A oneshot that grew legs and started to run. I am not completely happy with it thus far but I have the end plotted and I'm excited to eventually bring that to life.

Daughter of Autumn | Azris - Now this one absolutely shocked me with its popularity. Started as a fun little drabble for Gwyn Week 2024 and of course turned into Azris central.

The Beginning and End of Friendship | Azris - So many people screaming in the comments at me on this one. More screaming to come when I post part two I’m sure.

Two Souls Entangled| Azris - A tiny part of my soul via a short poem for Azris Week 2024.

Heaven Help the Fool Who Falls In Love: The End | Azris - This is the first piece I wrote for fanfiction and it is my precious baby. Only one chapter posted but I have several in need of editing before I publish the remainder. It's very heavy and I haven't had the mental space to read through it again.

5. Do you respond to comments? Every single one! They bring me so much joy. I have currently stayed away from my comment section for my own mental health but when I start posting again I will get back to everyone's comments, promise.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? All of my works are fairly heavy on the angst. TBaEoF comes to mind but I think for published works I’ll go with The Ending of Darkness which is a short little piece about @jules-writes-stories OC Mithras x Sylvan which I have a part 2 almost completed which is equally as angsty (sorry). Unpublished works definitely The Burning of Leaves and The Death of Shadows which are two fics I had planned for Eris week but are currently on pause (poor Eris I was really putting him through the wringer for Eris Week).

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Daughter of Autumn. Mostly because Cassian has the closing line and he just always says the darndest things.

8. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? I have not, nor do I plan on it. Please don’t hate me 😅 Just not my writing jam. I love finding unique ways to explore a relationship and conveying those same emotions and feelings without the smut. That being said some of my favourite stories and authors use smut as such a wonderful exploratory storytelling device and it is delightful. I love reading others contributions to the smutsphere. So so many talented writers out there giving us all our smuttiest dreams. I truly do not think that my smut contribution is even necessary when you have things like To Become a Vanssera by @acourtofladydeath and Why Not Me by @thomasisaslut both absolutely rife with smut and use it beautifully to convey their story (albiet in very different ways).

9. Do you write crossovers? Not yet, and probably not ever because I can hardly keep up with writing ideas I have for one fandom.

10. Have you ever had a fic translated? No.

11. Have you ever co-written a fic before? No, but it sounds delightful.

12. What is your all-time favorite ship? Azris most definitely for writing. I definitely have a big soft spot for Samwise and Rosie from LOTR (my husband is Samwise reincarnated and I am irrevocably in love with him). I have a WIP for Thesan and his lover and that dynamic and storyline has been so incredibly fun to explore as well.

13. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? I started writing a Tarquin UTM oneshot that is incomplete and while I am still in love with the story I really struggled with writing the voice of Tarquin. This one will only ever get finished if I can finally figure out the right tone for this man’s internal dialogues.

14. What are your writing strengths? I have been told my writing reads like poetry which is one of the biggest compliments you could ever give me. I also love writing parallels but there’s definitely a lot of room for improvement there.

15. What are your writing weaknesses?  Editing haha. But actually, I find that my characters voices don’t feel very distinct and that there is a lot of overlap in the way they speak and think and it can be hard to distinguish who’s talking/thinking. I feel like my characters resemble a cookie cutter suburban neighborhood where the walls and trim might be a different colour but they’re all built exactly the same. If anyone has some tips please feel free to comment or message me!

16. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? I absolutely love reading it but unfortunately the only other language I know isn’t really a language at all. Pidgin, which is basically just native slang. I was playing around with it in my Tarquin fic a bit but seemed a tad too niche.

17. First fandom you wrote for? LOTR in middle school. I have a printed multi chapter booklet that is a rewrite of Sam and Frodo’s journey through Mordor that I made for my English class one year.

18. Favorite fic you’ve written? My favourite multi chapter by another author is undoubtedly A Court of Shadows and Ashes by @futurehunt Mother Save Us From Your Twisted fate by @chunkypossum which got a stunning part 2 for Eris Week this year! My favorite of my own published works is either HHtFWFiL:TE or The Ending of Darkness. Of my unpublished works honesty The Burning of Leave or The Death of Shadows are both strong contenders. For non Azris I have a Beron fic WIP for @sjmvillainweek day 1 that will probably get prioritized over the other two.

No pressure tags (and sorry if you've already been tagged): @the-darkestminds @born-to-riot @chairofchaos @thomasisaslut @chunkypossum @acourtofladydeath @shadowsandlint

[wintuvern]

I loved the li facts, thank you for sharing! 👀✨

I was wondering how you edit the psd files on your phone on canva bcs I cannot seem to be able to edit psd files on canva for the life of me, only canva exclusive templates. Do you convert it to another type of file? I'm such a grandma when it comes to editing. 😂😭

Hi 💛 so I'll try my best to explain, however I'm a bit terrible at describing stuff so bare with me please😭

So the template you want to use, you upload and it should say "start creating from your media" with your photos at the bottom of the page after pressing the + button. So you pick the template from your photos and it'll load a new page on Canva.

Then you add the frames for the photos, although adding the square frame from "grids" lets you edit the dimensions which is sometimes better.

Now because there'll be some bits that are off, you can use text overlays as like fix-its I guess. So if something is overlapping something it shouldn't, you can make the text and the text border the same colour and now you have a colour strip overlay that matches the boxes. To get the colour background for text, you need to go on "effects" and scroll to the last one.

Next for any text, I've noticed most of the templates I personally use, use the Montserrat fonts, but that might differ based on what templates you use. The Montserrat fonts are on Canva which makes it a whole lot easier though.

But yeah for text you'd write what you want to write, and then you'd also add a text background, the same colour as the page I guess, and then place that over the original text so you can't see it.

↑ So for reference, in this case the text background would be the same colour as the whitish colour and the pink.

It'll take quite a bit of time, but the presentation and quality is quite neat considering, and then you save the image when it's done, and you can edit it any way you please.

For the pattern backgrounds I take the edit onto PicsArt, and get rid of the background using "cutout" and then add in whatever background I want.

Hopefully this helped, feel free to send in another ask if that wasn't clear or if you have any other questions 💛 I love answering asks so I don't mind at all :))

[nattikay]

the constant inner struggle of a Na'vi speaker/teacher browsing Na'vi OCs

[magnolia-sunrise]

one sided // mutual

still obsessed with the intimacy of body language when the faces are obscured. inspired in part by Mead Schaefer's limitted palette paintings

[psychomusic]

oc time again! + her town & culture (heavily inspired by pre-roman italic populations)

she is suri sauthon (later suri laran, after her marriage). her story is linked to my swtor imperial agent, but most of her life for like. the one year away where she meets him, is spent in a town in the mountains of mirial.

despite mirial being cold and desert, and many cities developing underground, her town flourishes thanks to a force nexus, venerated in the form of an ancient, sacred, alive crystal. the ecosystem of that mountain depended on what "the horned crystal" was capable of giving them, but mirialans couldn't live off of that alone, so they developed trade and some rudimental technology, even if oftentimes it was bought thanks to the highly profitable trade of a plant used to make medicines that slowed down aging and had overall healing properties.

note: everything that's generated by this nexus has these healing properties BUT they have to be processed, except for those who bathed in the waters of the cavity under the crystal - the "real" nexus, but not the worshipped one. the waters were sacred but they were not thought to be miraculous, unlike the crystal, who instead was thought of as the keystone of the ecosystem: without it, everything would fall apart (and that is partially true: the cavity was the "real" nexus but thanks to the crystal, also strong in the force, the properties were spread all over the mountains). those who bathed in the cavity's waters - so, all of the town, who had a sort of baptism there - could eat the plant, make whatever food with it, and not only that plant, but everything generated by the nexus, that, again, had similar properties. this allowed people to live up to normal life-spans without advanced medicines or, much, really. to those who didn't live there, though, after the processing, had incredible effects, slowing down aging - for those who took it regularly - and making people able to live up to half a century more than the average]

originally, there were four tribes of nomads that lived thanks to horned farm animals that decided to settle down into one bigger town and other smaller settlements, to live off of transhumance. this division of the tribes stayed into the political and social organization: every person belonged to one tribe specifically, and had slightly different rituals and culture. for examples, each tribe had their own priests and healers, with different techniques and traditions. the town, tho, was guided by a group of people in the high priesthood, a position you could reach only by having earned the trust of all tribes. those high priests had many roles: they guided the people into sacred processions common to all the tribes, they managed the trading with outsiders, they did the maintenance of the temple of the summit (the one that functioned as casket to the crystal) and created a special liquid to offer the crystal that helps it grow.

this particular temple was important because 1. it was very visible, from every angle of the town, and it became an important identity symbol; 2. it stored the venerated horned crystal; 3. it had the altar where sacrifices were made for the crystals. that altar had a hole connected to the cavity, that allowed the liquids to reach the underground; 4. it had various symbols: statues representing each tribe + the high priesthood, and typical mirialan tattoos carved into the wood of the trees that served as columns for the temple, symbolizing 8 values that who dared to enter HAD to have; 5. it was on the way to an important lake (called "mother lake" because the lake the town was built around to depended on the waters of that other lake) where they traveled to in important processions; 6. it was said that a the wizard who unified the tribes made it with its magic, making the plant grow to hold the temple's roof. this wizard was, actually, a force user, obv.

BACK TO HER THOUGH: she's daughter of one of the high priests, who was in charge of managing the trades with outsiders, and lives in a house on the mountains with her mother and him. her parents are from different tribes (that's one of the things that earned him trust from the 4 tribes): when a child is born from two different tribes, they don't pick one to allign to, but they're usually linked automatically to the one with more relatives in it (in her case, the father's tribe: she had many uncles and aunts on his side while her mom only had one sister).

later, though, she got quite tied to her mother's tribe due to a mysterious illness that only her mother's tribe healer was able to cure. she spent 4 years (from 10 to 14 years old) living with the healer and learned her secrets. to better study, she wrote them down. when she returned home, she studied to become a priestess with her father. at 22 (the average age: you can't become priest before your 20s), she was supposed to take a test and become a priestess, but the healer of her mother's tribe died and the tribe asked her to take her place. she couldn't technically do that, but both tribes estimated both her and her parents and she was allowed to become both. she then decided to try to become a high priestess, and became one at 25 (a quite young age). being part of the council, she tried to convince the various tribe healers to unite their knowledges and write them down, and eventually made it. healers still remained tribe based but they now had an "upper, inter-tribe level" similar to high priesthood.

years later, the sacred horned crystal is stolen from the temple by some Hutt mercenaries looking for a profit. given the trust she has earned from all the tribes and the fact that her father is the high priest that deals with outsiders (and she's been hearing stories and advice about it since she was little), she is the one tasked with getting it back. without the growing crystal, the keystone to their ecosystem, the village would have lasted only a few years. in hrr quest, she meets imperial intelligence agent tar'x laran and, as they "solve the mystery" and fight to have it back, they get closer. they'll get married and have a daughter, Vegoia (who's the only one who actually will get to the plot of my story. this was all background)

[tvntheatre]

Eight full bodies, holy smokes???

User @ballcrusher74 I hope you know Faux plagues me daily whenever I feel down. and is also very spindly to draw, that's always fun.

if the cut-off for the close ups here break I'll fucking kill someone.

I hate paper it distorted thy perfectly good Faux!!!

I no wanna ballpen this what if it ruins

[the-shark-well]

the best thing about artfight seems so obvious because it's just. What it's all about. It's that it just feels so good to give art to people of characters they made and getting responses to those pieces from people just utterly giddy to see designs they created and characters they developed realized into another's style. And receiving art for yourself doesn't feel too bad either but honestly I just love the giving aspect the most

[moe-broey]

Smartass guy with a flat affect vs guy who almost always sounds like it's joking and likes to play dumb. Neither immune to the urge to over-explain themselves in earnest. Fight.

And now I'M gonna over-explain myself 😤😤😤😤😤 Because this piece captures like. Some headcanons of mine that are so precious to me, and SO much. Of the Moefonse dynamic and friendship... the heart of how their back and forths work.

But first close-ups/text descriptions for easier reading!

From the very start, Alfonse is playing. That's his intention. To say something he knows will get a good response out of Moe. But his delivery is either too dry and flat or too genuine. He's extremely subtle, and his humor doesn't tend to land because of that.

Meanwhile, Moe can be unaware... generally. But just as much, if not more, it's deeply attentive towards the things it cares about. It takes these things SO seriously. Moe... really hates being misunderstood. It struggles with empathy, and its sense of compassion is entirely self-centered. Which seems unrelated, but all of these things contribute to it making a joke, and then feeling a need to immediately explain the joke. Just to make sure we're all on the same page, here. Nobody is left out.

So just. Joke (passed!) + Joke (also passed!) into Joke (passed, carrying on the bit), into Worry (Joke check: failed.) into Worry/Reassurance (You're my dear friend and I love you. No need to worry) into Understanding/Reassurance (yeah that WAS funny). Which, as a side, really flatters Alfonse... that's not something he gets often. He gets it A Lot from Moe though LMFAO

AND ... FINALLY..... FINAL TIDBIT OF CHARACTERIZATION

This doodle was closer to what the final panel was supposed to be (under the thought bubble), but I got distracted and forgor..... but it has essential characterization.... honestly both drawings do. So it's fine LMFAOOO

But it is So important. That neither of them are acting on their feelings. And it is sooooo important. That they're extremely verbally affectionate with each other anyway. And it all comes full circle, to the top caption. Moe sounds like it's joking here. But it is SO genuine. Also Moe might as well have said "I want you, like carnally" with that. Endlessly ambiguous guy. And for better or worse, Alfonse is built the Exact Same Way. 🧍

Oh yeah and. The. Posts. That inspired this LMFAOOO

They're both doing this. Btw.

[fallencelsetial]

I’m gonna be cringe for a second but I have not stopped thinking about it since last night. And I’m just like…metaphorically cuddling Garu.

As someone that has trauma induced memory loss, I’m just really latching on to the boy.

[dreamyprinx]

I bring to you, actual art but it’s me trying to replicate my friend @spaceshmuck’s art style

✧ reblogs are appreciated ✧ | ♡ buy me a kofi ♡ | ☾ commission info ☽

[shooks-stupid-stuff]

it's time to be annoying about masumii and takoshi again :]]]]]]]]

only this time, it's au versions (the base concept is what if they swapped places, but in like a masumii was born to takoshi's parents and takoshi was born to masumii's parents so they had the other's lives and genetics and yada yada you get the point way-)

so here, shitty pen doodles (which are inaccurate actually bc i decided to make masumii's turtleneck sleeveless like she usually has)

more art (from aggies)/inane ramblings under the cut, bc there is A Good Amount and i don't want this post to take up too much space xjdhdjdk-

ok so takoshi first (ft a knife pika drew hurtling towards him which inspired the 2nd doodle fjcnck) and like. this is just takoshi if he had enough time to cope with his trauma and stop relying on his masking tendencies constantly, and therefore he is just A Little Guy. A Little Goober, if you will. silly and goofy and kinda pathetic but very well meaning and kind. i like him :]

...he is still very depressed though don't be fooled, the trauma is Not As Bad Anymore but it still affects him deeply.

and now masumii (ft. a bunch of Little Guys drawn by pika) (i didn't feel like drawing her suit jacket also) who is Significantly More Depressed. unlike takoshi she doesn't even try to pretend she has any light left in her eyes, girl is dead inside and dead serious about everything. also unlike takoshi, she's incredibly competent at running a business, you love to see a girlboss win

the interesting part about this au is that, since takoshi and masumii have what i have begun to refer to in my head as "genderlocked trauma", by switching places they kinda avoid the worst of it (and while i definitely could have just changed stuff slightly to make it still work like in the boy masumii/girl takoshi au that i ALSO have solely bc they would have a very comedic height difference, that kinda feels like it would be cheating in this au and also is boring bc i've already done it-)

emphasis on kinda.

because that doesn't mean they can't have DIFFERENT trauma-

overall though, in broad strokes bc i don't wanna get into the trigger-warning hell that is their backstories, takoshi still has his masking tendencies and struggles with doing things that aren't in line with other's perception of him, even if it's not what he wants to do or how he wants to act (this is where the whole flirty fuckboy act comes from) and masumii still has her general disdain for, well. flirty fuckboys, as well as her general abrasiveness towards people she has a bad impression of (and people in general, though normally she does conceal that one (albeit normal masumii does a better job of this)) and she is still incredibly sensitive about people touching or even seeing her neck, which do still have horrible scars(?) on it in this iteration (i'm not 100% sure scars are the right term but idk what is so)

the most interesting part to me though is how this au changes the way their deep rooted self hatred manifests. for takoshi, he really does hate himself, but he knows that all he does by punishing himself is hurt the people who he cares about, and who care about him in turn. and so even though that is something that just makes him more miserable, which he feels he deserves, he's the kind of person who is willing to do ANYTHING to ensure his loved ones are happy, so... he tries to treat himself kindly, and to let himself be happy even if he feels he doesn't deserve it, for their sake. this contrasts regular takoshi, who has absolutely no one to lean on for support, and has a self hatred so deep that he's on the brink of quite literally losing himself since he is pretending to be someone he isn't literally anytime he's around another person. which is like 95% of the time since he almost always has a girlfriend. he doesn't think he deserves anything, and that since people don't want the real him from him, he should just disappear. it's bleak, he's in a really bad place .

masumii, on the other hand, also really hates herself, but she actively takes it out on herself because she thinks she's a good for nothing disgusting hypocrite who deserves everything she gets. she hardly lets others get close enough to help, both because she feels she doesn't deserve it and also because she's incredibly wary about opening up or being vulnerable. and when she does start to enjoy being around someone, she does all she can to deny and suppress those feelings, because in her mind she doesn't deserve to be happy, and no one would want to be near her if they knew the truth (this is something that takoshi also feels, though to a lesser degree than masumii). this is actually pretty similar to regular masumii, with the main difference being WHAT trauma has brought on those specific feelings and responses. regular masumii has also had a lot more time to process said trauma, but (unlike this au's takoshi) has been unable to raise her opinion of herself at all, simply getting better at hiding it rather than actually healing and slowly starting to get over it (that said, regular masumii is at the very least a bit better about her self hatred than this au's masumii; it's still there and strong, but she can force it down and ignore it atleast partially if need be).

yeah i just. i love these guys so much, they're both such horribly broken people but they're able to find love and joy in each other and help each other heal and man that's just so fucking beautiful. it's not like things get better immediately, it still takes time (hell, corporate hell masumii and takoshi who have been together like 60+ years are STILL struggling with their trauma, and they're comedic relief characters-) but they're able to help each other make it through each day, one at a time, and learning to love themselves in the process.

i fucking love these two terrible straight people, thank you for coming to my ted talk

[archduke-enver-gortash]

posting on here is like my sisyphean boulder i'm constantly rolling tbh

[hellebornearts]

Team Dawn! They might be a bit of a disaster but I love our lil crew and the adventure our wonderful dm's set us on so much!

while I don't think everyone's on tumblr, Tansy to the left is my PC, next to her Kyra belongs to @nerdlordofnerds, and Char beside her belongs to @meu-meu-kissy-ceutie and our last play character is Lily there on the far right!