#i love everyone ive gotten to speak to ;w; )

[honortodth]

( so i have three days off this week, im planning to get a lot done then!! i still have everything saved if you're waiting on a reply/prompt from me :> i also may spend some time trying to fix my bg3 since it is in shambles ( mods and game are just broken )! which is a shame because playing gives me so much more muse :') i may be quiet tonight but like this if you're interested in plotting! )

[yorkin-it]

idiotmu

[toytulini]

jalapeño eggggggggggg

[magnifythesun]

Hiii so mexican salsa YES this post is a prompt! Feel free to change it to whatever you like, but I'd love a lil' story like this:

Ian and anthony are both very obviously in love and the whole smoffice knows it, but them lmao! I'd love this fic to be just text messages or slack posts or sth, where the cast and crew report of sightings of Ian and anthony doing very ianthony stuff and not realize it themselves. Maybe they come up w a way to show or nudge them in the right direction? But Ian and Anthony will still make it a bro moment (broment) bc they think the other one just wants to be bros LMAO ~ Japhan2024 💖

@japhan2024 FANTASTIC IDEA I have to believe that the Smosh cast legit has a secret group chat for stuff like this hahaha the looks on their faces whenever Ian and Anthony do something shippy is priceless

im going to wrack my brain for my favorite moments lolol I hope you enjoy!

(mid writing note: i first wrote basically all texts but it wasn't quite flowing the way i wanted it to so now there's a little more prose lol. this also taught me i do NOT know enough crew members' names)

read on ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/56346769

---

It took Erin less than ten minutes to create The Group Chat following the slapping video caress incident.

Erin: "okay so what the fuck"

Tommy: "i'm beside myself."

Angela: "SO WE'RE FINALLY TALKING ABOUT IT"

It began, and all hell broke loose from there.

Most of the cast and crew didn't know Anthony too well when he first returned, but everyone could tell Ian began to positively glow once he came back. It had started mostly with little under-the-breath comments about how big Ian had smiled at something Anthony did, or shared glances after they looked lost in each other's worlds. It's not that everyone wanted to speculate about their bosses, but rather that their bosses were practically giving them no choice.

The real watershed moment was the birth of The Group Chat, which finally provided an outlet for all ianthony incidents witnessed by the cast and crew.

---

Shayne: "Please tell me how Anthony managed to turn his smosh cast interview into an hour of us complimenting Ian."

Tommy: "i swear he practices in his car on the way to work"

---

Erin: "not them discussing deepthroating injuries for like three whole minutes..."

Erin: "while Anthony sucks on his rainbow lollipop......"

Chanse: "they are not beating the allegations"

---

Josh: "So this is I think the fourth video I've edited where Anthony has called Ian daddy??"

Josh: "WHAT is the thought process. I just can't put it together. is Anthony just like yeah I'm going to call my bro daddy about seventeen separate times with varying levels of seriousness and that's good and het and normal."

Erin: "Josh, istg you don't see the half of it. Come watch them film and pay special attention when the cameras are OFF."

---

Erin: "im losing it"

Arasha: "oh god. what happened"

Erin: "i am not fucking kidding right now anthony just called him submissive and breedable."

Keith: "WHAT"

Erin: "he said what he said."

Angela: "BREEDABLE????????????"

Erin: "in front of god and everyone."

Angela: "BREEDABLE?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!"

---

Tommy: "catching up on the main channel sketches and i just have to ask"

Tommy: "How many men can Ian date in his sketches until he realizes he'd like to date one in real life?"

Chanse: "don't SPEAK to me about it"

---

Tommy: "bicurious, hmm? Ian would you like to share something with the class???"

Chanse: "hes so deep in the mental closet his art is trying to scream it at him through his subconscious."

Chanse: "ive been there 😞"

Josh: "I've never been more prepared to edit a video in my whole life"

---

Angela: "Erinnnn not u directing them to stand closer together 😭😭"

Erin: "look I'm at my wits end. I'm thinking forced proximity might do it"

Keith: "if that could work they would have gotten it during kissing currency 😙💸"

Shayne: "@ courtney is this your thought process behind wanting a kissing video"

Courtney: "HA"

Courtney: "yes."

---

Courtney: "okay so if our plan at this point is just to make them read so many fanfics about themselves out loud that they spontaneously realize they're in love, we've got to find some fics that don't contain the word 'cummies'"

Angela: "what are cummies?? 😇"

Shayne: "ANGELA I SWEAR TO GOD"

---

As the incidents kept piling up, a plot began to form. Maybe Anthony and Ian were just so oblivious that they all needed to adopt a certain 'push-comes-to-shove' mentality, and do what had to be done. Everyone agreed, they had to find a way to put them in such a charged situation that this would all finally boil over, and the astounding tension that had plagued the office would be resolved. The ultimate achievement of this long-weary Group Chat.

Erin: "okay so one more time. everyone has talked with HR, yes? and everyone slated for the vid is comfortable with the concept of spin the bottle"

Angela: "what's spin the bottle? 😇"

Tommy: "STOP"

Shayne "1) Yes for the thousandth time, we promise. 2) What the FUCK are we going to do if this bottle never lands on Anthony and Ian"

Erin: "I will keep this shoot going as long as necessary."

Shayne: "That sounds like a threat?"

Chanse: "I'm suddenly regretting my decision. May I take my week's vacation right now?"

---

Erin: "how..."

Courtney: "did you see the look in their eyes????? :O"

Angela: "FATE WAS ON OUR SIDE. IT LANDED ON THEM THREE WHOLE TIMES"

Erin: "yes but,,,,,"

Tommy: "don't speak to me I'm still reeling"

Keith: "oh please don't tell me it didn't work."

Chanse: "i just have one question. how did they kiss THREE TIMES and still not realize."

Courtney: "they were both practically levitating from giddiness"

Arasha: "they just kept looking away from each other and laughing it off... they didn't see each other's expressions 😭😭"

Angela: "guys. guys"

Erin: "what"

Angela: "do u know what this means"

Angela: "now that we've pushed them over this hurdle... They're going to start bro kissing in their sketches"

Chanse: "oh my god"

Josh: "oh fuck you're right"

Erin: "that's it."

Erin: "im quitting smosh"

Amanda: "Oh hey guys! We have a group chat?"

Shayne:

[velvetvexations]

Ive seen at least two responses to your antigonism post saying that the word would be divisive because “transfems who are normal about transmascs are the norm” and I really truly do believe that’s probably the case but at the same time it personally feels a little dismissive?? I cant speak for all trans people obviously but I know A LOT of trans people, basically everyone in my life is trans- my blood sibling, all of my friends, my 2 girlfriends (im poly) I am regularly in contact with other trans people/trans communities in several cities across my state, and for me it really does not feel like its a “small vocal minority” of transfems who hold anti transmasculine and exorsexist beliefs.

I want to make it clear I absolutely love the transfems in my community, they are my dearest friends, and I deeply treasure our relationships; but absolutely every one of them that I have gotten close to has ended up saying something to me that made me feel really weird. They either mention something about how transmascs have it easier/transfems have it the worst, or they feel the need to gatekeep things from other trans people& borderline accuse other trans people/intersex people of copying transfems, or they joke and complain about “theyfabs” or justify the use of the term (both of my gfs did this- mind you I was afab and exclusively use they/them pronouns), or they invalidate feminine transmasc and afab enby people (again something both of my gfs did despite me being genderfluid and sometimes presenting feminine).

And thats just some of the things Ive experienced IRL in my own home and within my own communities! If I were to start listing my experiences online Id be here all night!! I honestly want to go on about the shit I see online but I dont have the energy for it- but when I see exorsexist or anti trans masculinity coming from transfems (and self proclaimed tmes) online, the comments/notes/whatever is always filled with sometimes hundreds of other trans people agreeing and venting their own frustrations about “tmes” and it just. Again doesnt FEEL like its a minority. You are literally one of the only TWO transfems I know who makes content actively CONSISTENTLY standing up for transmascs and pushing back against anti trans masculinity. Its not that I think its transfems job to dismantle anti trans masculinity but the ratio of transfems who complain about tmes vs ones who actively push back against that rhetoric feels so disproportionate to how often I see transmasc and afab enbies pushback against trans misogyny and the exclusion of transfems in queer spaces.

This turned into a very long winded vent and Im kinda struggling to conclude my point but i guess I wish it felt like more people cared to pushback against TIRFism. It just feels kinda dismissive to hear people say that transmascs who are hesitant to interact w trans communities just need to touch grass or whatever when in my personal experience it feels like I cannot escape anti trasmasculinity or exorsexism in every trans space I am apart of. Kinda blanking on how to end this ask i hope any of this is coherent.

I wanna emphasize again that the person I responded to specifically was really cool and my emotions in this post are not directed at them

Recently someone said it was "easy to forget most trans women are normal about trans men," and I was scolded because me not thinking that was horribly transmisogynistic was apparently a sign I'd lowered my standards as a trans woman because I'm too discourse poisoned, so now I'm even more self-conscious that people will start to see me that way no matter how much I try to insist over and over that TRFs are a vocal minority.

Meanwhile I continue to get asks calling me a pickme and comparing me to Blair White. I continue to have ten people respond to my every reply going "don't listen to Velvet she's crazy and hates trans women!!!!!".

So yeah. It is, actually, easy to forget that sometimes.

Especially since I'm stuck in a tiny southern town without even the option to make use of what meager community exists in the area because there's no one to drive me several hours to the state capital for their annual Pride stuff. I can't just go outside and be gal pals with all the vast numberless hordes of Normal trans women. I would be shocked beyond fucking belief if I saw two gay cis men in my fucking zip code. With my personal situation I can't even be social with cishet people anyway, let alone other queers, let alone all the trans women others perceive as Normal because they've knowingly been in the physical presence of another trans person a single time in their life and have the option of making that happen when they want it to.

Thank you for the support, anon.

[infranthrax]

helo. im one they call 🍂 and id like to. make a request. i hope ur doing okay (*＞∇＜)ﾉ ur free to write this or not

i would like to request an angst w/ a good ending type of thing if its okay. a platonic f!reader&heartslabyul (seperately. if its limited to one character, you can go with riddle) headcanon that has the following plot;

mc is a pessimistic person, a very tired, overworked one. all they want is a bit of peace and quiet, but they care about the heartslabyul gang very much. they have kind of become a mom/older sister to the group (kinda like trey). anyway, one day the gang realizes that mc seems more irritable than usual which results in them making a snide remark/get in an arguement about the guy's flaws (like how riddle hurt many pre-overblot, how ace runs his mouth at the worst times, how deuce is not the brightest around, cater being addicted to his little social media sites, and trey ignoring the problems regarding riddle because he didnt want conflict, etc etc) that would hurt them.

they kind of ghosting everyone for a couple of days to calm down, and then they awkwardly come back with a box of sweets (that they managed to purchase by scraping by lmao, girlie's poor as hell...) to apologize, and eat them over tea! mc apologizes directly and wants to make up for their words, but they are not the best at speaking their mind.

ive seen countless fics where the main cast gets to be the agressive and sad, sopping wet cats, and reader comforting them. ngl, i wanted to write a piece where MC is the "sad little pathetic shrimp" but i just didnt have the time. anyway, i hope you like this prompt

oh my god I love this prompt! the mc is definitely the therapist of the group and I can imagine this happening… I restricted it down to just riddle given how detailed this prompt was, the rest of the dorm is self explanatory.☺️/pos (and thank you for your kind words! I hope you’re having a good day/night!)

generating new memory… please, one moment… ✨

����𝐈𝐓𝐄 𝐁𝐀𝐂𝐊!

Heartslabyul x f!reader — headcanons!

sypnopsis: mc has had enough of the anal shenanigans after a near traumatic event, and she lashes back out at riddle, who is left bewildered and heated at the event.

light tw // domestic conflict, implied traumatic event

riddle rosehearts

riddle is just anal and sometimes he comes off as bossy and or ungrateful. that’s not really his intention however. that’s just an act of conditioning he’s been through.

so when he sees that you’re overwhelmed, at first he blind sighted to it. riddle isn’t great per se at emotions— let alone the ones of other people.

he gets on you for being late to class one day and it all piles up. You’re in a dorm full of boys— what girl wouldn’t have enough? at the time it was little around the time in which riddle overblotted, and he just went on with daily life like none of that ever happened.

he fucking hurt your ass. quite frankly that was the first (of many) overblots you’ll have to go through, and that’s how you’re gonna handle it? hell no, especially after the fact that you had to play superwoman to get the goons out of a near death situation.

before this, you had gotten into tiffs with the redhead on numerous occasions, trying to ground him down. never really did it work though as he was always stuck in his perfectionist ways. and you hated that about him because his mannerisms reflected into you.

he expected you to be able to carry yourself in a manner that would suit him. he expected you to dress a certain way. he expected you to follow his orders, his rules, his ultimatum. that you couldn’t stand any longer.

when he got on you for being tardy, the melting pot overflowed… and it wasn’t pretty either. let’s say you were in pain, in addition to your mental health plummeting due to not really having anyone to talk to, and then when mother nature calls upon you for your monthly drain you must attend.

you shouldn’t mess with the wrath of a woman on her period. this, riddle learned the hard way… with you.

“riddle… i swear… on god’s green earth, if you don’t shut the hell up… i’m fucking TRYING. I’M TRYING! FUCK YOU, YOU UPTIGHT PIECE OF SHIT, GO ON SOMEWHERE!”

and then the fire brewed. and then it exploded. (quite literally.) it would be hellish screaming match between you two, despite riddle claiming he is above such things. he really isn’t, he’s got a temper that’s about as fagile as glass. (no, it’s not microwave safe.)

after your blow up with riddle, you both proceed to give each other the silent treatment for the better part of a month. during this time you find comfort in your other classmates, spending time with other students outside of heartsllabyul, namely vil and rook, just for a boost of female empowerment.

and while riddle was contemplating all the bullshit that went down between the two of you, he began to feel a little bit of guilt. mattered if fact, both of you did. you shouldn’t have been so aggressive and he shouldn’t have been so… well, himself.

before class one day you enter your lab room to see a small box at your seat with a little note attached to it.

it was from riddle— a little chocolate potion bottle with those biscuits— the exact ones from the disney movie. little did he know, you happened to pop by sam’s shop to get him some mini fruit tarts and snuck into his class early to put them on his desk. you ate his little gift up, in a little bit of worry. would he accept that?

at the end of the day though, you had to return to heartslabyul to see him. and what a surprise, he wanted to talk to you.

call it him playing kiss ass— no, he’s not. he’s sorry. to be true, he should be more careful and more intuitive as a dorm lead to ensure the comfort of his students, and he does understand that sometimes he can come off as overbearing or, dare i say dictatorial. it’s really not meant to cause harm. it has a lot to do with his upbringing.

and you were sorry too. and you both hugged it out. every couple has their tiffs, right? just something he’s gonna have to work on.

[madohomo]

its my golden bday babyy i am 29 on the 29th today

life updates under the cut!!

i feel like my lifes been going 1000mph for a while now but some notable moments

- i got my masters degree and it was the hardest thing ive ever done honestly i didn't think i was gonna make it but my degree is in applied biosciences!! im v passionate abt a lot of science research so im excited to see where that takes me.

- im a homeowner now !! living w my 3 siblings and splitting a mortgage and its honestly so nice. the house so lovely and ive been through so much roommate hell in the past decade so its been nice to have housing security and ppl i can count on. house is kind of a zoo with so many animals though (2 cats, cockatiel, snake, axolotl, fish & coral) but we make it work

- I'm still working in clinical research as a coordinator on the only NIH funded long covid trial and it's been kind of brutal. not just because of the topic and the study itself being all over the fucking place, but they recently fucked me over financially and now I'm pretty much stuck working there until at least early next year.. but it does feel cool to contribute to such important research that is going to affect millions of people! I've been working on covid studies since summer of 2020 on both treatments and vaccines and now long covid. so I'm pretty burnt out but grateful that I've learned so much about how to protect myself and my loved ones because I'm pretty much the only person I know that still hasn't gotten covid yet. please PLEASE continue to mask, most importantly protect your face holes, and care for each other because everything we know so far is so horrific and we still have very little in terms of treatment options. the future is really looking so grim tbh.

- since October of last year I've been pretty involved in local organizing centered around Palestine. since then and especially during the international call for encampments I've really gotten to know a lot of amazing people who inspire me and remind me that a better world really is possible and we can really fucking build it ourselves. I feel like I've spent a really large portion of my twenties grieving my future because of climate catastrophe and endless war. but for the first time I feel safe and hopeful. I really encourage everyone to connect with your local organizations, meet people and get involved because getting connected and organized is really the only solution to every problem we face and if you're like me and feel existential dread on the daily, this is the best solution.

- and speaking of the friends and comrades we met along the way... I just want to talk about how much I love my friends and the people around me because I would have never made it to 29 without you. I love my local sapphic squad That makes that drained social battery go back to being full. and I love love all my out-of-state friends who continue to talk to me and want to be in my life still despite the distance!! I'm literally flying out tomorrow and seeing East Coast friends I started hanging out with during Homestuck days back in 2013 and now 11 years later. we're still planning shit together.

[bombshelllblonde]

heyyyyyy im backkk!!!!!!!

invading ur ask box again lol, sorry!!!!!!

this might start being a thing

ANYWYAS

i totally forgot to mention last time hiw muvh i love lenny, mary-beth and hosea and tilly and MOLLY O SHEA omg

the drinking mission w lenny is one of my favorites, and I LOVE PLAYING DOMINOES W TILLY MY GIRL SHE IS THE BEST

AND SADIE I LOVE HER SM

Like yea gurl!!!!! kill the o driscolls!! kill them all!! avenge ur pookie!!! rahhh!!!

Mary-beth and kieran are my blorbs. my pookies. my babbygirls. my schmookums

molly o'shea that woman that she is i love her so so so much

i feel so bad for her tho w her fights w dutch :(

speaking of dutch, idk i have like a neutral (slightly negative) view of him???

i dislike how he treats molly, and w how he treats mary-beth?? (inst dutch also like 40-50 and mary-beth like 20-smth? idk im probably rlly biased in this lol)

ALSO another reason dutch be chosing Micah the rat over what is his basically adopted son??

im definitely biased in this but wtv lmao

but he hasnt really done much so i dont hate him, but i dont like him either

moving on, do yk if theres any way to explore blackwater + south of it while playing as arthur? i wanna get all the dinosaur bones and legendary animals !!

i replayed the 'americans at rest' mission, yk w bill (i think) javier and charles at the bar (towards the beginning of the game)

its so fucking funny i cannot

arthur walks in, uses his amazing charmer skills (LOUD INCORRECT BUZZER) and then bill runs in, punches a guy therefore starting a bar fight, HERE COME CHARLES WITH THE STEEL CHAIR, arthur gets his ass kicked and then kicks ass and nearly beats the guy half to death

yk when jack grows up and tells epople abt his dear ol uncle arthur that uncle lore drop boutta be CRAZYYYY

did i mention charles throwing a chair? its my favorite part could you tell

i have a pretty neutral view of john marston ig, i kinda hope he steps up and gets the stick outta his ass, starts being a father to jack or smth but im trying not to get my hopes up lmao

thats it for now!!!! hope u have a nice day!!!!

(thanks for responding to these btw! lmk if im bothering u tho, ty for letting me ramble abt my hyperfixation lmao)

okay lsitennnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn rdr2 has been mt hyper fixation since July of 2022 when my brother in law gave me his old ps4 and the game and i don’t think ive shut up about it since i started playing. My entire personality is rdr2. And my current outlet/therapy is writing my rdr2 fanfiction

it’s gotten to the point where my family has literally started buying me cowboy/outlaw stuff. when I was a teenager i loved owls so everyone got me owl things. now im obsessed with cowboys at 26 years old and every gift I receive has something to do with outlaws

My sister got me a cameo of Roger Clark talking to me as Arthur for my 25th bday and literally nothing has ever topped that. It was the most amazing gift ever and now I have a video of Arthur Morgan saying my name and talking to me about my horses!!!! It’s so amazing I watch it all the time

unfortunately there isn’t any way to explore blackwater as Arthur unless you get like mods or something. the AI immediately roll up and the bounty hunters shoot him dead if you try to get into west Elizabeth

do you know how to play dominoes??? Literally ive only ever played 5 finger fillet in that game because i cant fucking play dominoes or poker bc i don’t know how

also Tilly is amazing just wait until later in the game. there’s a mission that really solidified the love i have for Arthur being the protective older brother

Dutch is sooooo complex and i think that’s why i love him so much. i won’t get too deep into my feels for him just yet bc i want you to keep going without me saying anything but once you get farther into the game we can talk about him!!!

Hosea and Dutch are literally my gay fathers. I love them so much. Their love for each other literally makes my tummy flip I love it so so so much

Also I’d let Charles hit me with a chair too, tbh. Love of my life

I never disliked Molly but I didn’t like her either, I think she’s just too much of a loud mouth. Felt like to me she could have not been in the game and it wouldn’t have changed much. Idk

And John’s complexity we can talk about after you progress a lil further. I honestly don’t want to spoil anything or give it away unless you don’t care about spoilers. But I’m just gonna stay quiet until you let me know 😂😂😂😂

[rollercoasterwords]

now is my time to shine and say that I hated Bunny by Mona Awad. im hard pressed to find an insufferable character i don't like (or, yk, find compelling) but the main character of this novel was unbearable. there's only so much caustic snark i can read from one person before the whole novel gets bogged down with jadedness (like we get it! everyone sucks and is terrible! <- i felt like awad was telling us this, repeatedly, rather than showing it). and i found it rather underwhelming,, like ur dark fantasy is someone (a man) who can love ur best friend like you're too afraid to and torture the mean girls you can't stand? alrightttt i found myself just finishing it because i wanted to move on to something else

ik a lot of ppl really enjoyed the book and im definitely in the minority but i am speaking my truth!

oooh interesting bunny's been on my reading list like since shortly after it came out but i've never gotten around to picking it up & u are not the only person i've heard criticize it!! at this point ive seen mixed reviews i def think a lot of people really like it but even the tone w which people praise it has started to make me skeptical abt reading it myself...feels like...similar vibe 2 people going "omg yasss female rage" if that makes sense. & have heard others make similar critiques 2 urs so atp im on the fence abt whether i wanna read it anymore

[swampwart]

its only been two hours!

if i dont bog myself down with work, i think of you

i cannot escape you, oh i really really dont want to

i wish that dream was real i wish it was fucking real

i cant forgot how you kissed me

i wish you kissed me

i love your lips, i miss when you'd stare at mine wheneber we spoke

i want you back and im so deeply ashamed about this

this is not what i thought it would be

breaking up was suppose to get rid of all these feelings

but now.i feel all of them, just without having you

i cannot have you in my heart like this

i cannot keep ranting to you in brain about jow horrible my emotional life is and how badly i just want to reach over, hold me, rub my spine again and tell me its all going to be okay with such raw confidence it was like god told you or something

ive never dreamed about anyone before, not even him

but you have entered my escape so vividly and in such detail i cannot ignore it

it tricks me into thinking its real life

like you were actually upset i ever made a joke about taking another man's name and you wrapped your arms around me when i told you w out prompt i was only jokinh

in my dream that didnt reassure you either

you asked me "are you crushing on anyone else right now?" and i giggled and said "noo" w a knowing eye and you got nervous and looked to the side and forced out a laugh "noo thats not okay, we need to find you someone" then you took me by the wrist and had me speak to a guy

all i could do was watch you while you laughed at everything he said, and i think i was just happy i was with you

(he didnt even have a face, yet i could see the peak of your cheekbone that causes the depression beneath your eye)

later on i went home w a beautiful girl, tough and thick in every aspect, in a sick way i cannot deny het beauty

she was into me, i think we wanted this to go somewhere,, her friend had set us up and were hung out alone in rug covered room with a mirror and magical beads,, and she spoke with a tough sarcasm that ive gotten used to over the years, i dont think i looked at her long

then you came in, light in your weight and smiling lile ive never seen. Im use to this i think, but something hurt inside so far down and so unimportantly, i just focused on that you were happy. And you began to recount to me the tome you had, laughing the whole time, and i asked you "are you drunk" and in your beautiful, biteless irony you said "nooo maybe judt a little champagne" and we laugjed anf i was so happy to be wuth you, giggling in out own language rven thoigh i hear you speak this way with everyone. In dream and now, shamefully for my own comfort, i will believe it is special when you do it with me

and you held my hand and played with my fingers while you pattered on, and swinging your head this way and that, and in a moments confusion we forgot who we were and you kissed me.

That moment convinced me this dream was real. Your lips left a session on mine that felt so real. I know i felt pressure, i know i did. At that moment,i was convinced it was because we really did kiss. Now i know itd because our last kiss, whenbeer that was, has not left my lips this whole time. That kiss we had, whenvef that was, has traveled through time and told me we are still in embrace.

i was left in a daze after that, and i heard you gasp and laugh and say "oh i forgot!" and take hold of my second hand. But i stared off, with a dopey smile growing all over my face. Thid whole dream I've felt so tired, my eyebags leading the way. But that kiss sparked rhe rest of my physical existence, and golden light rippled along my skin, into my brain, and swayed its way across my eyes. I heard angels singing, the muses, everything that comes witj a golden kiss. I was so happy. And i agreed with you and said "dont worry about it,"

latter on, the girl saw us and was less than impressed. You were layed across your back (your hair was parted in the most stunning way) and playing with my fingers. My exhaustion was back, but it did not matter to me when i was with you. And she asked what my boyfriend was doing here, and i told her "its complicated" while focused entirely on you playing with my hands.

And she told me she doesnt do cheaters, and i told her dont worry about it. I said before you walked into the room i had a boyfriend, so she assumed it was you. I told her "this isnt him," and it confused her more. She sat down and began to do her make up and in a distance, maybe even hurt, but still open manner. And i turned my attention away for a while, sadly my back to you, and i asked her if she knew what polyamory is. And she adjusted in her seat, squinting her eyes as she tried to think, then we spoke at the same time, it isn't / is it, "what the mormans do." I told her that was paligamy and involed religion and stuff we didn't jave here. She nodded along, confused, partly wanting to understand and partly wanting to leave, and i was fine with that.

Then i think someone walked in for you. I think it was him. And then you were gone. You where gone snd i think my dreamself felt there was no point to remember the dream anymore. Now ive woken up, sad, confused, happy, and feeling so stupid.

i cant decide if i want all of this to be real or not. I do, hell i want you so bad, its such a deep seeded need in me, i dont know what to do. But what the hell am i doing. what the hell am i doing. I have a boyfriend, but shit i think its getting rocky. Im makinh mistakes, he is too. And im so scared. And i just want comfort. Like a child i just want to be held and told itsnall going to be okay. And everytime i think about it, im always telling you. Im always telling you.

i miss you so much, i miss you more than anything

[jacobied]

hm.

jade lore lol cw abuse, suicide. this is so rambly and will make no sense probably

having a. quiet panic attack rn lol. been thinking about how isolated ive been for the past like...15 yrs. which is kind of insane to say lol i live in dt toronto and im online all the time

i dont think my parents used isolation as a tactic they like were not smart enough for tht lol ! it was just like a natural consequence w how much we fucking moved bc we were poor (like once every year and a couple times even in the middle of the school year)

the only people i saw consistently even through all the moves were my parents and their friends and their two daughters. i kiiind of grew up w them, we lived in like different parts of ontario and i only saw them like 3-4 times a year, but they stayed in the periphery of my life even through all of our moves. and then one of them outed me to my mom

ive never been good at keeping in touch w people not even w my own family. all my family except for my dad lives in china and they speak a language i barely know. my dads been abusive since i was in like grade school and even before the abuse got bad tm we barely ever talked to each other. i never see my mom but when i do shes also abusive ft their comically shitty divorce era. so isolation was always sucky reality but a safe one idk. i didnt have parents to support me but at least when they left me alone i didnt have to worry about getting hit or screamed at lol

all that just. built into a pattern of me fucking up any kind of social support/health i manage to build every couple of years. there were like a couple months in hs and college where i'd be completely nonverbal and like... complete shut down bc of how depressed and suicidal i was. i had no idea why it was happening and everyone thought i was mad at them but the idea of existing and taking up space froze me

i've deleted and remade my tumblr before, my instagram twice now bc it felt like i was killing myself. the longest standing sm i've had thats actually also gotten me to where i am in my career is twitter so ofc that seems to be the app swandiving into hell lollll

im like trying, working on better coping mechanisms and i think im doing better lately. but theres still this deep aching loneliness thats been building up frm over a decade tht im reckoning w bc the brain fog is lifting.

i straight up didnt know my mind could feel so clear if that makes sense? but im also just feeling the brunt of All Of This pretty head on now and its super overwhelming and idk. its like im so far behind in my life compared to everyone i know. also bonus Gender Thoughts and relationships thoughts and an ex who said she loved me and it just didnt feel real bc i didnt feel real

all this + just the constant worry of my industry and my career crashing down around me and how i literally have no back up plan lol. my back up plan for the longest time was to just die. i want to stop feeling like i have to kill parts of myself i want to live to be w my friends and i really want to pitch my ogn. im so excited about all that but it feels so abstract and far away

[gibbearish]

alright gamers here we go again, once again it is a lovely bouquet of lies, although i'll give him points for trying on some parts. i think he's probably gotten a little bit better but. yeah two months is not long enough for a person to completely change sorry

anyways play by play below the cut, this is not a 100% comprehensive or word-for-word transcript, this is just bits that stood out to me going through it as someone who has watched the plagiarism and youtube video WAY too many fucking times

"i've been reaching out to the people i plagiarized to apologize" - well hey at least he's figured out the word this time, sucks that a couple of those people posted screenshots of your emails and they sucked lmao

"ive heard back from a few of them and they were actually incredibly nice, accepting my apology and just imploring me to do better in the future" yes we are all aware that you can still just say whatever words you want but again people posted screenshots of the emails you sent them

"im a cis white gay man, no matter how much i try to be a good spokesperson, i can never really truly understand the life experiences of other far more put-upon members of the queer community" you didnt "try" to be good at it lmao you deliberately talked over everyone you could. also. put-upon?🤨

"this is one of the reasons that i would use their own words" FUCK OFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

"i never thought that i was the only voice out there as some have said, but being a cis white man i thought i might be able to win over some people who wouldn't otherwise listen unless it was someone who looks and sounds just like them" holy shit. holy shit this dude cannot be serious right now.

"what i thought was inclusive ended up leaving a lot of people feeling left out and even offended" how very delightfully vague

"this fell upon nick too as a nonbinary person, on the ace spectrum" - i havent been paying close enough attention to know if nick was out as nonbinary this whole time but every mention i heard of them i couldve sworn just said gay and ace w nothing abt gender, am i misremembering / did they come out recently or . did he just out them

"they wanted to include nonbinary experiences and asexuality in our videos but since nick's experiences are not universal (...) people felt that we were delegitimizing their experiences because we focused on nicks, and i apologize for that. and im sure that nick does as well." firstly "felt" ok dude secondly no thats not why people thought that thirdly why was the last part so weirdly pointed. why the Look at the camera for that. does he think people havent already been discussing nick's role in all of this

(talking abt jessie gender) "I drew her into this anger spiral of mine that was unwarranted and absolutely ruined a possible friendship" - oh is this what the kids are calling "calling the cops on a transfem" now. he does apologize directly to her and admit he was an asshole there at least

"there was a misunderstanding after that where someone claiming to be a fan of jessie's, yknow, did an internet and threatened to kill me, which is.. yknow, being a person on the internet, death threats are unfortunately not uncommon, at the time though, i was in a very panicked state and so i did report it to the police, i did not report /jessie/ to the police, which is the misunderstanding that people came away with. i did not report jessie to the police, i would have no reason to do that. and it did end up that this person had a prior record with the police of violent acts and they actually lived quite near me. um, so the police took it very seriously, they took it so seriously, in fact, they implored me not to speak to jessie, which i took their advice on. which i shouldnt have, honestly, i should have at least clarified to jessie what was going on and not just left her hanging. and so i want to again apologize for that to jessie. but in that state i listened to the police, which is. maybe not the best decision the whole time because, yknow the cops. don't usually have the best interests of people at heart." ohhhhh yes of course i see, it wasnt calling the cops on a transfem, it was calling the cops on her very real you swear follower who sent you very real you pinky promise death threats and the police caught them and confirmed they were indeed very bad and scary so actually you were right to call the cops! but also i toootally agree with you guys hashtag acad am i right?

"the work nick and i were doing on the channel, we wanted it to be for everyone, we wanted it to be a channel where every queer person would feel welcomed and... we failed at that. that is something that in hindsight i think is impossible to create..." ok like. sure you can't please everyone. but you have to be joking right. it's not impossible to create an actually positive or inclusive space

"...and that's why it's inportant for there to be many different queer voices in spaces like youtube, and there are. whats more important is making those voices discoverable, which is something that i should have been helping with." lmao no kidding

"I often shared queer creators on twitter, but this was when i only had, yknow 800, a thousand twitter followers, and these creators usually has a whole lot more than that. it was a weird... thing, because usually they would have more twitter followers, but a whole lot less youtube subscribers. im not sure what created that dichotomy, but something was definitely off with the algorithm there, where it says Ooh! white male queer! lets push him!" wh. huh. im not typing out the rest of that tangent because it Keeps Going without actually saying anything else but . what????? what does this have to do with anything. why are you talking about twitter to youtube ratios

"I should have done more to share the voices of other queer people. certainly the voices of the people whose works i used, both credited and plagiarized in my videos." look at him go using the big boy word again im so proud

i dont wanna type this but hes saying he felt like he had to make videos fast in order for the algorithm to not leave him in the dust. bb girl youre thinking of tiktok. tiktok is the one that drowns you if you dont post like every other day.

one thing i will say is he said "people who were- people who i plagiarized." so like good for him fighting back against the urge to use passive voice there. and he is listing off specific examples, he's directly acknowledging how fucked the deep cuts video was and is going over yknow Proper Citation Practice. and said "i said it was based on their work but it was. their work. word for word." so i mean good for him there.

however he then goes on to say there were some he did get permission from including SEAN GRIFFIN FROM EVIL QUEENS. LMAO. also i cant find the comment now because he's ACTIVELY DELETING THEM AS IM WATCHING but this part is the only screenshot of any of his claims hes included so far and one of the comments pointed out that the email is from a Different Time Than He Claimed so. lmao.

"i was much more interested in the production of the videos than of the writing of them. so after 3 or 4 videos, i brought nick on as a main writer for the channel." oh we know where this is going

"the idea is that they would write the vast majority of the scripts, i would film/voice and edit the videos, and we would split the money that came in" lmao. now to be fair he goes on to talk about how this is when some of their most loved videos came out and does directly say they werent plagiarized, i dont remember the whole list but at the very least the names he gave werent any of the Big Featured Ones. who knows though lmao

now he's talking about how he lost his job and therefore had to take over more of the writing bc of that, which is why there's another surge of the plagiarism in two scripts after, is because he copy pasted a bunch of things into it intending for those to be the jumping off points while editing it later with nick, but that his memory issues made him forget which quotes were and werent his.

"we shouldve just thrown out all of my contributions to the scripts and filled them in with original writing but we felt we had too much of a time crunch." well at least now when hes blaming nick for things he can come out and say it sometimes, however i do have my doubts that they did actually know bc Why would you not just say that in the first apology.

"(paraphrasing) and then my mom died and i was useless. nick had to take over the writing while i took care of the aftermath because my dad grew up poor and can't read or write" my man im sorry about your mom but this is not the time for a tragic backstory.

now hes talking about how there shouldve been an inheritance from his moms life insurance but the insurance company just refused to pay it out because she. didn't tell them she had family with diabetes? and that voided the entire policy???and that they only refunded one years worth of premiums?????? bitch why are you trying to get back into youtube then go get a lawyer and get that money

now he's saying his mom told him to use the inheritance to make a movie and so when it didnt thats when they decided to try for telos. i cant. sorry everyone mums ghost made me defraud countless people

now he's saying that the plot of final girl wasnt taken from final girl support group, "and final girl is a trope in horror movies. so if using the final girl trope is plagiarism then basically everyone who's made a slasher horror movie since texas chainsaw massacre owes the toby hoover estate some money" and like... ive never read the book and idk how well the little intended plot summary of the movie he gave just now matches up with the one he originally gave. but uh. sounding a little defensive there

ok so he sent nick the final girl script, nick didnt want to share final girl opinion until they got back at which point they said it needed a full rewrite, and also said they wanted to move away to ottowa so james followed. and now is being like "and then once we got there i was like oh shit all my film school connections were back home so we cant film:(("

AHAHA "once we got to toronto nick decided they wanted to move to ottowa about 5 hours away" my dude i think maybe they just didnt want to live with you specifically anymore and then you just trailed along after them like a sad dog

he's giving various reasons for why every movie fell apart and all of them seem to boil down to "we got the script mostly done and then oops! problems! gonna have to abandon it after months of work i guess!" like. one was "we realized it would be a year until we could film anything because winter was on its way and the film was heavily reliant on summer imagery."

he's also saying that by the time the hbomberguy video was released, they still had yet to receive the telos money. uh. hadnt it been like 13 months at that point or something. do kickstarters usually take over a year to pay out

lmao we can expect a product out of telos this year can we. he says he has a producer now, what fucking producer saw your name on the email address and was like "yknow what yeah i can fix him".

lmao "we accepted too many sponsorships so we had to make more videos leading to more copy pasting from me"

now hes saying a bunch of friends reached out to find out why he nuked his social media presence and is talking about the suicide attempt so cw

"to be frank, i didn't want to exist anymore. if you watched my honestly horrendous video in december, you know i tried to make that happen. the not existing thing. but it was more intense than taking too many pills. it wasnt that i didnt want to be alive anymore, it was that i wished id never existed at all, that everyone id ever known would be better off had i just never been there. very george baylee. which is fitting, given it was christmas time. its only thanks to some very VERY dedicated doctors and nurses, and one very good friend, that i'm even here able to film this right now." oh good yes im glad what he apparently absorbed from when he brought it up last time was "they dont believe you, go into more detail" and not "i shouldnt bring this up as part of my apology". why did we stop to make a movie reference halfway through.

"and i'm not going to name her because i don't want to expose anyone else to the... small, but seriously unstable group of people who watched the plagiarism and youtube video and though "well! he should be dead!" like i said, it's a very small group... but when they find out your address. and some of them are actually in your city. they can be terrifying. and they did find my address. and at least a couple of them showed up while i was at the hospital. my neighbors did report them to the police, and i won't go into anymore details than that, i'm not sure if i legally even can, but- theres a reason i left ontario within a week of getting the ok to do so from the doctors." are we for real playing this game again dude. i swear he still has not watched the hbomberguy video we /know/ he lies about getting death threats as a defense mechanism already, in literally this exact way???

anyways now he's saying the videos that are currently up on his channel are the non-plagiarized ones and they were written entirely by nick, thats nice at least. i do not think they will be pointing to your channel at all as a reference for their resume though

lmao hes saying hes editing the other videos down to just be the original work too. sir theyll be 30 seconds long

AHAHAHA AND SOME SPONSORS IN THE NON PLAYGIARIZED VIDEOS ASKED TO BE TAKEN OFF OF THEM

lmao hes releasing another video soon and says "i want to prove that i have the ability to do this without abusing other people's work". and that its gonna be more of a documentary than a video essay. but he pinky promises he'll be citing everyone this time. and that it will have 0 of his own opinions, only cited facts. sir do you think documentaries are just video essays without the opinions. is this your solution to not being able to write your own shit is "well fine i'll just lean into that and make a collage"

"some misinformation made its way into our videos, that is not something that we intended. in some cases it was information that i was told by epople that i considered experts, in other cases it was information that we had researched, in other cases it was things that nick had learned in university. the point being it was never malicious. we didn't- we weren't trying to lie about things. despite what a lot of people think. we were not trying to spread misinformation, that was not ever our intention" baby boy this whole video is misinformation. also it doesnt really matter if you werent ~trying~ to like. shockingly spreading misinformation because you don't know its wrong is. how most misinformation works??

"as for my patreon, everyone can stop worrying about me relaunching it right in time for a billing cycle, that will not be happening. i dont want anyone who doesnt know about the plagiarism or simply forgot to unsubscribe to get billed so im gonna start from 0. i have put together a new patreon account so if you wanna support my documentaries about gay history, fantastic. honestly your faith in me after everything means the world to me. if jot, i completely understand. like i said, ive lost your trust. im gonna work my ass off to earn it back, though. and i know for some of you ill never be able to do that but im gonna try anyway. but this video is not about promoting myself" LMAO STOP I CANT

"this video is about me apologizing. and i am incredibly sorry. *jumpcut*. heavy sigh." I FUCKING CANT IM DYING

"it was never my intention for anyone to feel hurt or left out or excluded, it was never my intention to spread misinformation, and im really really sorry that that happened. and yknow as much as ive tried to explain myself in this video, the memory issues, the ADHD, um... the personal things that were going on in my life with my mom getting sick and then dying and trying to make sure that my dad was ok following that and everything, those arent excuses. there is no excuse for what i did. there are lots of people that make videos on youtube, there are lots of people who make podcasst, tv shows, movies, documentaries, who have ...shit going on in their lives that is very stressful. and they don't plagiarize people's work. there is no excuse for what i did. for everything that happened, whether it be with my mom or memory issues, there was something i could have done to mitigate that." wow very mature sounding! wish it was believable

"and so there is no excuse for the nisinformation and there is certainly no excuse for the plagiarism. i... fucked up. bad. i stole peoples words and thoughts and opinions, that they worked incredibly hard writing and publishing and finding someone to publish their thoughts and opinions and research, hard research that they had done, and yknow in some cases i put them- their names in the opening credits which i thought was fine but- like i said, ive spoken with some of these people now and i understand why that was not ok" PEOPLE TOLD YOU THIS MULTIPLE TIMES BEFORE THE HBOMB VIDEO

god theres so many ads on this thing when youre watching it half speed. btw yes it is monetized, he says specifically so he can give the proceeds to hbomb and kat. lmao.

OH MY GOD HES REPEATING THE THING ABOUT HOW THE CELLULOID CLOSET ALMOST WORD FOR WORD. LIKE. "there were times like with uh, the queer history of hollywood... videos that i released this past spring, they were baded directly on the celluloid closet by vito russo, the book not the documentary. i expanded on it quite a bit but it was based directly on vito's work and i credited him in the opening credits. and i thought it was ok to just do that, because the book was out of print, and vito had... passed away, unfortunately, from hiv complications due to hiv and aids, and i looked at it more as... extending his legacy, making sure that people knew about the work that he did. but i dont think i ever mentioned his name in those videos. he was cred- like i said his names in the opening credits, but i don't think i ever verbally mentioned his name. someone who i have so much respect for, is kind of an idol of mine, and... i never mentioned his name. it wasnt cause i didnt respect him, or anything like that, and it also wasnt becayse i wanted people to think that this was all me if- if that was the case i wouldntve put his name in the credits, i never wanted people to think that this was all me. so thats actually one of the videos i want to make, i want to make a documentary style video talking about vito russo and his life and everything that he accomplished, because he didnt just write the celluloid closet, he did a lot more than that. hes someone that people SHOULD know about." the fact. that this fucking man still feels comfortable talking about him literally at all is insane to me. "i do respect him" very shortly after fucking. "well he was dead so i thought it would be fine". like you actually sat down in front of your camera and said that out loud and edited and posted it and didnt think anyone would be like "SORRY, THAT WAS YOUR THOUGHT PROCESS AT THE TIME????" and that this is somehow better than. just plagiarizing him because you dont respect him over all???? you thought people would react better to you saying that about someone you claim to respect??????????

oh for fucks sake dude

[hirokiyuu]

Hello I am someone who deeply loves The Twins and Enjoys Talking about The Twins. There just...It's hard to make coherent words but I love how similar the two are, there arcs are sort of reflections of each others and I really love that, also If I'm friends with one twin I have to befriend the author, I just need to be close to the both of them. On more coherent meta stuff I find both twins perspectives on wanting to be something else really interesting. I'm trying to tiptoe the best I can around possible spoilers but I really do love them. There good lads.

SHAKING UR FUCKING HAND

(cut for spoilers!)

i really love how clearly both tang+dys are like........ HEAVILY damaged by their mother's abuse even on a colony where Everyone Is Family! it's really interesting narratively speaking that even in this supposed-to-be perfect experiment already from the start is like....... someone who's damaged these kids so bad for literally the rest of their lives

like tang's constant desire to basically leave her flesh behind....... fear of addiction yet her own obsession w/science......... fixation on chief engineer as a surrogate mother to the point where she rejects her own brother......... and yet when that brother vanishes she's SO messed up by it so clearly like. she's always looking for some kind of affection+love and yet her own fears+coping mechs make it so hard for her to keep it. ive only dated her once but my friend also did and got a dif ending and we both got dumped so honestly like. if she just dumps u ever time u date. narratively perfect

and then on the other side of the coin is dys and like his Total Rejection of all the ppl around him and like........ his belief esp at the start when u approach him that ur just gonna try and make fun of/hurt him. how in every ending ive had w/him he's become a gardener. his overwhelming desire for connection is sooooo fun esp in conjunction w/how he doesnt think he can ever connect with PEOPLE its so good. i love dys i am cupping him in my palms

i havent gotten them to reconcile yet but my friend was saying smth abt how u have to make......... rex's bar???????????? which requires four pets?????????????????????????? idk man im just squinting but im sure ill get there eventually. not next time tho next time i am unfortunately going full fasc*st kill all the aliens run solely to see what its like

if u wanna come off anon and talk to me in private lmk btw. i am clawing at the walls

[mossygardenstone]

Hi !

How are you doing ? ^^

Can I request something angsty but maybe (if possible) with an happy ending for whoever you want ?

My idea was that their crush has hanahaki (because they think they don't love them)

I'm sorry, I don't really know how to explain the idea clearly ^^"

I hope you will have a nice day ! :3

I can totally do that for you! :3 I'll write for Red because that's my boy =w= But if you want someone else, feel free to request again! Hope I did it right! ;w;/ I may have gone overboard ;; Reader x Redd - with Hanahaki TW: Medical stuff, illness things, hospitals, angst, no proof reading oops, and swearing You plucked away a last petal from your shoulder, as you returned your gaze to the mirror, looking yourself over for a moment. Of all the people for you to fall for, it had to be him. When the monsters started to come from the underground, you never thought you'd be friends with them, let alone had fallen so head over heels for one of them. But something about this bone boy really got to you. Despite the rough and tough personality he put up, you could see who he was truly. But that's why you knew they wouldn't be interested in you. How could a monster be in love with a human? You looked your face over for a moment more in the mirror, your hands gripping the sink tightly. Once you felt that you had gathered yourself enough to be around others, you sighed and pushed off the sink, giving the mirror a last glance on your way out the bathroom door. Once you entered the living room, a pair of sockets shifted to look at you, as Red's constant smile seemed to grow more at your sight. "Was starting to worry ya fell in the toilet." He teased, his sockets shifting back to the video game he was play, that you had brought over to play with him. You simply forced a smile, that you wore well to block out any prying questions about how you had been, despite the fact your features has slowly worsen over time. Your body finally giving way to display how sickly you had been feeling as of late. You gave the other a soft chuckle and shifted to sit back in your spot next to him in the floor. "Where's your brother?" You asked, peeking over your shoulder, where the taller skeleton monster had been when you left. But it simply earned a shrug from Red, not even looking up from his game. "Didn't ask, he just said he had ta go." He gave a chuckle and shifted a socket to you again. "You know how he gets." You returned a chuckle, the smile you forced felt as constant as the skeletons smile. But you think your cheek muscles were making you have less of an advantage in that department. Your face hurt from smiling. Your body hurt from breath. And being around him just made it worse, you could feel your body react the second you're around him. It felt like you were dying slowly next to him, but that was okay. At least it would be next to him. Lost in your thought, your vision blurred, not even hearing Red as he starts to talk about the game. Your frame wobbled softly in it's spot as the room danced around you, just to swirl into a never ending blackness. You felt your lungs failing yourself, but now you could hear him, because he was much closer now. Your eyes weakly trailed up, to see his bone fingers gripping your shoulder tightly, but you couldn't feel his touch. Your eyes continued up to meet the sockets of the other, his yelling seemed muffled by the fog in your head, he look frustrated, his sockets narrowed at you, his eyelights reduced to pin pricks. But that expression changed once your eyes finally met his, you could see his frustration leave like a flash, the second he locked eyes with your dull ones. He was sweating now, his eyelights gone, leaving his deep sockets staring blankly at you. His worry was quickly amped as your eyes finally fluttered shut and you toppled over in the floor beside him. He gasped now, scrambling to your side and stroking a boney hand across your face, calling out your name, but getting no answer. You awake later, to the sounds of beeps, and the uncomfortable feeling of a cold, sterile room closing in around you. You blink groggily as you try to sit up, but your body refused to let you do more than softly shift around. But you soon stopped your movement, hearing a familiar voice in the next room. It was Alphys, and another more loud voice you also recognized as Sans. You stopped shifting so

you could listen to them in the other room, they seemed upset. But you thought you'd pass out again when you heard Alphys mention a word far too familiar for you. Hanahaki Disease. You knew you had it, you knew that's what was happening to you, it's an easy search. But no one else did, not them, not your friends, not a soul but you knew this. You could feel tears prick your eyes, as you heard Alphys explain it to Sans, your body shaking hoping he wouldn't catch on. But another voice rang out, this time from the room you were in. It was Papyrus, you hadn't even noticed he had been sitting in a chair on the other side of the room, arms folded over his uniform. "Alphys, Sans, they're awake." He barked almost as a command, and they funneled into the room as though it was one, locking eyes with you. Alphys went to spoke, but before she could even attempt to speak, Red's hulking frame was stomping toward you. "Why didn't ya tell me? D... Did ya not know? That's it right?" His tone sounded pleading, like he wanted more than anything for you to not known you were dying, than to not have told him, to hide something like this. You shifted your teary eyes away from him, you knew the longer you stared at him, the more they would fall. "I knew." You finally spoke after a while, making him stare in stunned silence, before his sockets screwed up in anger again. "Why the hell didn't ya tell us? Or at least me?" He sputtered out, his hands waving as he spoke. But when you didn't answer he simply let out a grumble and moved closer to your bed side. "Then tell me at least..." He started, causing you to look at him out of the side of your eye. He hung his head for a moment, thinking over everything he had learned today, before raising his head with a snap "Who the fuck is it then? Who are ya so in love with that it's doing this to ya?" He was shaking at this point, and he didn't know if it was anger, or fear. "And why the hell don't they love ya back?" His voice cracked at those words, and hearing it sent you over the edge as well, tears rolling down your face now, your body trembling to keep from letting out shaky sobs. "Because.." You started for a moment, bringing your hand up to wipe your eyes, the IV in your arm feeling weird as it moved. "I haven't told them." This caused Red to stare blankly, and finally shut up for a moment. Giving Alphys the perfect moment to finally speak. "But Y/N, you will die if you don't tell them soon. Or get the surgery." You winced and tried to choke back another sob. "I don't want the surgery. I know what comes with it... I rather be like this than lose my feelings for them." You said blankly, Alphys looking from you to Sans again. Who was now angered again, hands balled into a fist. "Then tell them! I'm sure they're going to love ya back. They have'ta!" he spat, shaking his skull. You couldn't reply at first, you just softly sobbed to yourself, before taking a deep breath and collecting yourself. "It wont matter if I tell them. They wont feel the same." You weak mutters just fueling his anger more, as he finally had enough, he closed the rest of the space between you both, gripping the bed rails. Alphys reached out to stop him, but simply let him get it out, noticing Papyrus keeping a close eye on him. "Why the hell wouldn't they? Ya great! I should know, I spend almost every day with you!" Alphys blinked and looked at him for a moment. "Sans.. You've been around them a lot lately right?" Sans snapped his head to look at her. "It's what I just said, innit?" Alphys shifted her gaze to you again. "When you met them.... Did they look this sick?" You winced, you knew she had figured it out. Red was staring at you now, you could feel it, his sockets scanned you, before turning back to Alphys. "N...No, I don't think they did.. They had a lot more colla to them." Alphis nodded and looked to again, Red's gaze trailing back to you, his boney fingers still wrapped around the bars of your bed. "Is it a monster? Is that why ya don't think they will like ya? Y/N, monsters fall for humans all the time, you

really-" Sans was cut off by the bellowing of his older brother, causing all three of them to jump and instantly give him their attention. "Sans, you absolute moron." Sans gulped nervously, loosing his grip on the bed, as his brother continued. "It's you they like, how can you be so dense? I saw this ages ago" His eyelights rolled in his skull, as though he had just made another pun. Sans just stared at him, jaw slack, his large frame rumbled from the laughter he let out. "Come on Boss, it's a good joke, but this is serious." He shifted his skull back to look at you. "There's no way someone like them-" He stopped, your eyes were wide, and you face was flushed, and he realized just how pale you've gotten from this sickness. He blinked softly for a moment before letting out a panicked grunt, leaning over the bars, a foot from your face. "Yer fucking joking? T..." His skull flushed a bright cherry candy red, his eyelight finally appearing again for the first time since you passed out, they seemed to vibrate softly, flickering as they scanned you. You couldn't stand to look at him anymore, you felt destroyed, you were going to get rejected in front of everyone and slowly rot away. But instead you were surprised when you felt him clambering over the rails, into the bed with you, spooking both you and Alphys "S.Sans! Careful with them-" She blubbered as he managed to nestle his large frame, mostly sitting on the railing. His grin was larger than you've ever seen, his eyelights looked almost like they had turned heart shaped, and he was giggling like a dork. You scanned him, as you scooted in your bed to make space for the large skeleton monster. "Yer as big of a moron as me I guess, because I liked ya for a while too." He finally, said with another giggle. Your eyes went wide, and you suddenly felt dizzy, actually too dizzy, the room spun as you put a hand to your forehead, leaning back with a huff. Sans jumped again, trying to back away to give you space. "Fuck! Sorry uh.." Sans muttered, and Alphys simply snickered and walked over to the free side of the bed that didn't have a bone boy perched on it. Softly fanning you with her clipboard. "It's okay Sans, it's the blood flow coming back to them. They shouldn't be showing anymore signs of the illness in the next 24 hours." Sans beamed at you, watching the color come back to your face slowly. "Guess I'm ya new medication hun. Take as needed." He snicked and slumped into the bed beside you, pulling you to his lap. You sunk into his large frame like a bean bag. You had no idea how it happened, but you were fine with the out come. "Dork.." You muttered as you snuggled into his chest.

[ecl1pse]

omg speaking of gworls i forgot to share my thoughts on the album here bc i was so excited the whole weekend

anyways! i REALLY liked it. overall, the whole album isn’t as cohesive as savage ngl, but it’s still good. savage was such a tight, top tier album that it would be very hard to top. even in the whole of kpop, savage has to one of the most cohesive album to come, even in all my 10+ years of listening to kpop i don’t think ive come across an album that is so sonically cohesive as savage was so i understand why some mys are a bit let down in that regard. that being said, girls is still very fun!!! & i’m always here for a fun kpop album

however!! the song girls itself has to be aespa’s darkest sound. & yeah, i agree that it sounds like an nct song, but i mean it as compliment!!! because i actually think that despite so many trying to replicate nct’s sound, no one has come this close to actually doing it while still maintaining their own touch. winter & ningning adding those cute & fun adlibs makes it such an aespa song & nice contrast to the loud trumpets in the chorus i love it!! imo girls sounds to me like nice blend between turn back time by wayv & punch by nct 127, while the mv seems heavily informed by kick it (i see a bit of punch in some transitions shots too). but again, it’s still very aespa, especially in the fact that has a clearer storyline. back to the song, the production seems very influenced by turn back time & overall wayv’s use of guitars to build up momento with the added horns from punch to add grandioseness &, well, punch. it makes them sound like characters in a big fight about defeat their big baddie. which apparently they do because i’ve read this is the end of the black mamba storyline. the girls add so much sass to the song— to pretty much any song they touch. sm struck gold when they decided to put all four of them together, they cover every ground just by the four of them, it’s so gorgeous to hear them.

illusion is just. such a fucking good song. the choreo adds so much to the song too. from the strong opening w the alarms blaring in your ear & the slurping, winter’s opening line of “you’re so yummy, yummy, yummy in my tummy, tummy, tummy” 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 that…was crazy. insane. there’s no taking out the sexual connotations out of this whole song no matter how much they tried to make it fit into the aespa storyline. it’s so fun & sexy i love it. i loved that the choreo follows pretty closely to the formula the song follows in that it a slow build up that explodes by the second middle of the second verse than it takes its second wind. i think this might be one of their best b-sides & choreographies. it’s almost as good as i’ll make you cry, which i’m still hoping & begging to see performed live with a cool choreo 😭 i honestly think this album could have been a double feature with illusion being the second title track. this should have been the song to get an english version &/or an mv. sm, hear me out, we can still make this work. hear me out!!!! just make an illusion mv instead of leaving my girls jobless once the promotion period is over, you could even get a second boost in sells w this genius idea!!! (hmu for more input 😘).

lingo is so fun!!! i havent gotten into reading the translations yet but i can almost tell this is aespa saying you can make fun of all the made up words & stories their concept requires you to understand but that doesn’t make them any less cool. i see the country influences everyone has pointed out, it’s probably how the song started, but i insist!! this is not a country song!! this is nortec!!! look it up, look up nortec. i know this, this genre was literally birthed in my home city & the streets grew up in. idk who lixa, the producer, is, but they (accidentally??) made a nortec song. lingo is for las norteñas 🤠

life’s too short is cute but i agree it’s not their strongest song. that much i knew when they previewed at coachella. it’s very much elevated by their gorgeous voices & smart layering. the mv was so cute tho!! very dreamy & cute. i think it’s befitting they sing a song like this considering the amount of hate they have received since debut, much of unwarranted. i just hope the girls themselves actually believe as much because they do deserve to enjoy their hard work. they have achieved so much in such a short career & are such strong performers, enough to rival bigger groups. it’s no wonder they keep going viral, they work hard & are good at demonstrating it on stage.

icu…it’s a song. a song sung by aespa. this has to be their most forgettable song imo, i’m sorry. it’s pretty but…it’s just there. it’s the required sm ballad & they delivered. i don’t have much else to say other than they sound pretty.

i know a lot of fans disliked that this album included their previous singles but i’m actually really glad it did! i’m glad i can now have a physical copy of black mamba & dreams come true to play in my car that i dont drive. but if i ever did, i have it & i can cause a car crash while swinging my head to black mamba. plus, no offense to any icu fans out there, but ending the album in that when we had such a strong start with girls & illusion would have been such a snooze. ending it with dreams come true!!!!! feels more befitting ngl.

anyways, that’s all i have to say for now. but i’m sure i will continue to talk about this album because aespa has been one of the most exciting kpop acts to follow right now & i’m always excited to talk about their music to anyone who is willing to listen!!!

[oh-cramity-its-amity]

THAT'S WHAT IVE BEEN SAYING!!!! I forgot about this, but I definitely said that before when I watched FtF w my friend.

Literally, I wish we had more time to see Ghost and her interact/bond, I really liked the moments we did have ofc, but I'd love to have seen more backstory.

I do think she bonded with Amity, thanks to Bat Queen. We did see the rest of the others do a somewhat similar thing, and it did involve them knowing/expressing what they wanted. Amity DOES mention her experience with doing it- So I do interpret it as Ghost being from Bat Queen herself. I wonder how she came to the realization for Ghost to bond though!! In thinking about it, I don't think she would've gotten to it when everyone else had with the class.

Amity definitely probably came back later on once everyone left and already got their pailsmen. [<- Just because while she is very skilled with magic and academics, I think she would've still had trouble with really realizing what she wanted for herself versus what her parents wanted/expected of her. It feels in line with her character because of that whole thing of her being and discovering her own person imo imo.]

I'm sure it took her a couple hours just sitting there rattling things off, and Ghost looking uninterested lmao. There's gotta be some kind of backstory there.

(Also- Speaking of Bat Queen- I wish we found out more about her lore!!! I mean she came from a giant, apparently, but what could that mean entirely? I don't think its Papa Titan but I always wondered about it.)

Also, Ghost's smile in the timeskip scene right next to Amity's leg!!!!! (I NEED to bring that up it is literally everything to me.)

I love Ghost. Justice for Ghost 🥺.

I wish we got a plot where Amity bonded with Ghost, we saw everyone else get their palismen!! The closest we get for Amity and Ghost though is Amity’s one line if FtF (which I interpreted as Amity got Ghost from the Bat Queen maybe?? Idk)

I wish we got to see it even as a small plot for an episode or just a flashback or something it would’ve been so cool I just love Amity and Ghost