#i love buying from people i follow and mutuals its nice. we are connected now.

[gloryrising]

me: im not getting a new dragon

some tumblr user: i have dragons for sale

me: auaghguagashagguughhhh [opening my wallet] aauagaggogohghhhh

[lacefuneral]

Hello! List 5 things that make you happy, then put this in the askbox of the last ten people that reblogged something from you! Get to know your mutuals and followers :D ❤️

yey! first ask game in a while, ty

1. I really like roses. Like, I wouldn't necessarily say that it's my Favorite Flower, but its one that I think is pretty and smells nice and tastes nice when used in foods. So any time I encounter something with rose in it I'm like !!!!! And then, ofc it's a flower that is mostly associated with love, so I think that's very sweet. Also, rather than taking up another answer slot: this is true of vanilla as well. Love the smell and taste of vanilla, and I rather obnoxiously have it in everything. Lotions, body-washes, body spray, perfume. So imagine my blog smelling like both of these things.

2. I love skirts, and I have a few of them. I don't wear them very often, but it makes me happy when I do. I miss dresses a lot. Before I transitioned I had a ton of cheap sundresses. And I'd like to get some again someday.

3. Making things makes me happy. It's hard with chronic pain, executive function issues. But the act of drawing, or making collage, or editing a video, or writing a poem - it feels very freeing. Especially if what I was working on was especially challenging. I think that's one of the reasons I miss college so much. I miss carving linoleum, swiping ink through silk screens, developing photographs in the dark room. I even miss ceramics, even though it was a medium I struggled with and wasn't the most pleasant for me sensory-wise. Like, I tried to sculpt a TV, but the form became all lopsided because I wasn't very skilled, and I ended up really liking it as it was. Like a sort of surreal, melting, Dalí sort of thing. And I leaned into that when I painted it.

4. Curating things. Probably due to an autism/OCD intersection. I love love love making playlists, running sideblogs where I collate a bunch of different art or photos together, making pinterest boards, assembling gifts for friends and family, putting outfits together (when I have the energy), customizing my blog themes, etc. - I love it so much when I have disparate objects or concepts and I connect them. Probably why collage as an art form has always been something I enjoy.

5. Supporting independent artists/small businesses. Not just because I Acquire Object, but because I feel like I'm helping someone instead of my money going to a faceless corporation run by a billionaire. It especially makes me feel emotional when I buy from other trans artists. Like "whoa, you and I are in different parts of the world and despite our physical distance we share a fundamental part of ourselves and you made this item with your own two hands and now it is in my hands. and i will treasure it forever."

[uwuwriting]

Soulmates w/ Dabi, Shirakumo and Keigo

Request: Hello! I just read a few of your writings &I'd just like to say they're amazing! Anyways, may I request some hc's for a soulmate AU w/ Dabi, Shirakumo, & Hawks?(all separate)- anonymous

Soulmate Aus have a shit ton of tropes so I went for a different trope on each boy bc I love them all. My man Dabi has dipped the last few chapters and I’m getting kinda deprived, although I appreciate him not burning my baby Shoto to a crisp so we good. Love ya.💖💖💖

masterlist II rules

warnings: angst with some fluff

 Dabi/Todoroki Touya II Interchangeable eye color

-Dabi’s outlook on love is really negative. 

-Growing up the way he did and in the environment he did, the possibilities in him believing or cherishing love and soulmates was low. 

-When he got his soulmate sign he was around 12. 

-It was the darkest moments of his life and he hated himself to no end. 

-When he woke up on that fateful Sunday morning he thought that he was hallucinating. 

-Then he imagined that this could be an after affect of his trauma, just like his hair. 

-His mind though drifted to his soulmate. 

 -He didn’t have a mark up until now and your eye color changing was one of the many soulmate signs out there. 

-As he stared at his left eye, the e/c orb staring back at him, he began to cry. 

-Sobs wracked his body as he clutched his eye. 

-This was unfair. 

-He shouldn’t have a soulmate, what good could he be to anyone?

-He is a failure and he is gonna bring down his soulmate as well. 

-So he hides it. 

-Puts a patch over his eye to conceal the new color blooming around his iris and when his family starts questioning it he buys contacts. 

-Natsuo helps him even though he doesn’t understand why his brother doesn’t want a soulmate. 

-Years pass until he finally meets the person that has changed his life. 

-Shigaraki was being a brat as usual, whining about needing new members for his little group. 

-Dabi couldn’t care less.

-This  whole charade with these losers would only aid him reach his ultimate goal. 

-He didn’t care about Shigaraki’s shitty ideologies and otherworldly desires, he just wanted his revenge. 

-His eyes scanned the so-called hide out in utter boredom, his gaze landing once again at the bar’s door left slightly ajar in case someone came looking. 

-He didn’t expect for the door to open though. 

-And as the grease old door creaked open a figure stepped into the room, clad in black from head to toe. 

-A mask was covering half of your face leaving only your eyes visible. 

-You scanned the place before your eyes landed swiftly on him, knocking the breath out of him as you locked gazes, e/c orbs baring into his own. 

-The vibrant blue on your left eye had him gasping for air. 

-It was stunning. 

-You moved to talk to Shigaraki, your voice albeit monotone and cold, sent tingles up his spine making his hairs stand at attention. 

-His eyes were glued on you, one of his hands subconsciously going to the left side of his face where his mark should be visible.

-It felt as if his contact burned his eye and he quickly took it off, not minding about possible infections since he didn’t wash his hands before touching his eYE DAMMIT YA NASTY AF. 

-His body was drawn to you, his mind screaming at him to talk to you to go close to you. 

-You knew he was your soulmate. 

-You had known the moment you stepped into the bar; no one had such a beautiful blue hue in their eyes other than your soulmate. 

-Despite your mutual desire to be close to each other you  held off for months. 

-Months of keeping distance, months of giving each other the cold shoulder. 

-It would all reach a tipping point soon and Dabi would finally understand what it’s like to truly love someone. 

-Until then though, suffer in your mutual pining. 

Shirakumo Oboro II Red string of Fate

-The string around his pinky finger always lay motionless for years. 

-It was slack and lifeless, no sign of his soulmate being remotely alive. 

-It really worried him, he thought that he might be one of the few unfortunate individuals who didn’t have a soulmate. 

-He talked to his friends about it and they all reassured him that his soulmate was just too far away from him so even if they tugged at the string he wouldn’t be able to feel it. 

-This reassured him all throughout middle school. 

-He started getting a little discouraged when he saw all his classmates getting their soulmate signs whether it be names tattooed on their wrists, one of their eyes changing color or a strand of their hair, other could hear faint music if they concentrated hard enough while others were unfortunate enough to feel their soulmate’s pain. 

-Shirakumo was left staring at the red string surrounding his finger. 

-He had thought about tugging at it, making the first step instead of waiting for the person on the receiving end.  

-But on this day, the day when both Aizawa and Hizashi got their respective signs he found himself tugging at the string. 

-At first he pulled lightly watching the string grow taught slowly and then go slack again. 

-He waited for what felt like a century before tugging again and again, more force being put in his pulls every time. 

-After an hour of waiting and tugging he was done. 

-Eyes downcast with a frown on his lips, he was ready to let this whole soulmate thing go. 

-At the end of the day he doesn’t need the universe to tell him who he should fall in love with; who he is destined to be with. 

-Then he felt it. 

-The lightest tug at his finger. 

-His eyes followed the red string as it straightened a few times before going limb again. 

-Aizawa walked in on him pulling the string like crazy, excited giggles leaving his lips when his soulmate responded with their own pulls. 

- “Shota I did it. T-they answered!”

-This whole string communication business lasted until the first day of high school. 

-As Oboro walked through the halls of UA he felt the string shift on his finger. 

-It was as if it was wrapping tighter around his finger, almost to the point that it hurt. 

-Maybe he was about to meet his soulmate that’s why the string was thinning. 

-Wait, meet them??

-He wasn’t ready to meet them!!!

-What if they didn’t like him? What if his hair was a bit too cloudy for their likes? Oh god his hair must be a mess because he flew here. Maybe he can dash into one of the bathrooms and fix it real quick. Will he be too loud for them? What-

-Lost in his own thoughts he completely missed the person standing in front of him and soon he was crashing into them, a small grunt leaving his lips as he maneuvered himself to cushion their fall. 

- “Oh God I’m so sorry, I was totally zoned out. Are you alright?” 

- “Why are you apologizing? I ran into you.” 

-He let out a chuckle as you scrambled off of him, dusting off your skirt before offering him a hand. 

-As he took it he felt his pinky being released from the pressure. 

-Right before your eyes you witnessed the red string that connected you both unwrap for your fingers, illuminating for a moment before completely disappearing leaving a sense of familiarity and warmth in its wake. 

-You both stared wide eyed at each other before awkwardly introducing yourselves. 

-It didn’t take long for you two to actually fall in love and if you’re being honest it’s was so easy to fall for him that you believed that even if you weren’t soulmates you would have loved him. 

-Even after years, even after that fateful summer, the sense of his presence and his warmth never left you; it was as if he wasn’t gone and he was still somewhere out there. 

-You were half wrong in that one….I think. 

Takami Keigo/Hawks II Name tattoos

-He got his tattoo when he was 13. 

-It had really awful timing if he was being honest. 

-The hero commission was isolating him completely, even from the few friends he had made around the facility he trained in.

-He couldn’t even begin to imagine what they might do if they find out he had a soulmate. 

-He truly wished he had a different soulmate sign or no soulmate at all. 

-He did everything in his willpower to hide the calligraphy of your name on his left wrist. 

-Bandaging it up, covering it with a watch even scribbling over it like he used to do when he was 9 and bored. 

-But at some point it became harder to hide it, harder to conceal the beautiful name that was printed on his wrist. 

-So he confided in someone. 

-One of the caretakers at the commission had taken him under their wing ever since he was a wittle toddler, he trusted them with his life. 

-When he approached them frantically grasping his wrist in attempts to hide the letters, they were both delighted and saddened. 

-It was nice knowing that this poor child had someone out there that was meant for him and would make him happy, replace every single one of these awful memories with new ones.

-Memories he would like looking back to. 

-But just like Hawks himself they knew that the commission wouldn’t allow this person to get involved with him, at any costs and they knew how far these people could go in order to guarantee Hawks’s undivided concentration. 

-So they helped him; they bought him some make up to cover it up and taught him how to apply it correctly. 

-By the time he was out of the hands of the commission *at least not in close reach* no one apart from them knew of his soulmate’s name. 

- “Now listen here Keigo, I want you to take good care of them when you finally meet them. And never forget that you deserve nice things, don’t let anyone take your happiness away.” 

-He did find his happiness. 

-It didn’t happen right away but it did come sooner than he expected. 

-He had learned about the new transfer student who began attending UA in the middle of the year. 

-He never heard their name but he knew they existed. 

-Turns out they were quirkless but were determined to become a hero despite their shortcomings. 

-After a few months he bumped into them and oh lord his wings have never been puffier. 

-He was  relaxing on the roof, away from prying eyes and loud people, just him and the birds *he found his people at last*.

-When he heard the door open he almost leaped off the building but paused at the sound of a soft voice. 

- “Oh I’m so sorry I didn’t know someone was up here.” 

-Turning around he came face to face with the most beautiful person he had ever laid his eyes upon. 

-For the first time in his life he stumbled over his words, a swift ‘It’s alright’ escaping his lips and before he knew what he was doing he was inviting you to sit with him. 

- “Wow you can see everything from here.” 

- “The view is better up in the sky if you ask me.”

-After a long pause he added. “I could show you if you want.” 

- “How can I trust you? Hmmm?” you teased. “I don’t even know your name.” 

-He let out a chuckle before continuing. “Could say the same for you but since I’m a gentleman I will grace you with my name. I’m Keigo Takami or Hawks if you wanna go with my hero persona.” 

-He saw your eyes widen as you stared at him, your eyes darting to his covered wrists. 

-Quickly you composed yourself straightening your shirt and extending your hand, the black letters of his name delicately engraved on your smooth skin. 

- “Nice to meet you, I’m Y/N L/N.”  

TAG TEAM AY:

@the-arcana-fan-fic​ @angelwritings​ @axerrri​ @reinyrei​ @dnarez​ @storage11037​ @ezoyscorner​ @letscheereachotheron​ @wolfkid22​ @dark-thoughts-and-red-roses​ @threeamwriting​ @ysatrap​ @yashinosakura @belladonna-coven @angel6786​

[dakotacrisis]

Topsy Turvy (3)

By popular demand and my current Ladrien fixation I bring to you part 3 of this fluff fest. Enjoy!

---

Plagg was this close to throwing an extra large wheel of cheese at Adrien’s head. After Ladybug left last night he had been skipping around his room with the biggest, dorkiest grin imaginable. Every once in a while he would stop to contemplate how hurt his friend Marinette would be about this before he perked up again. Now he was standing in a pile of clothes trying to pick out an outfit for the movies tonight.

"What about this?" Adrien held up a black button up. "It's nice but understated and it would match Ladybug’s costume. Or is it weird to coordinate? Or maybe too fancy for a movie date? I have a black v-neck that may be better. What do you think?"

"It all looks the same to me," Plagg answered, not bothering to look up from the comic book he was reading.

"Plagg! Come on! Just give me an opinion. This is a big deal for me!"

Plagg grinned, a wicked thought entering his brain. "Oh I just don't know, Adrien. I don't wear clothes so I don't have the best source of judgement. Why don't you ask the designer friend of yours? I'm sure she would love to help you."

"That's actually a great idea--hey, wait a second--Plagg!" Adrien torn the comic out from under him like a tablecloth, "I can't ask Marinette for help regarding my date with Ladybug! Are you mad? Did you forget that she's the one that I need to reject after this?"

"Oh? Is she?" Plagg feigned ignorance. This was just too good to pass up. If only this poor little kitten of his knew the truth. He was rejecting the same girl he was going on a date with. He had to mess with him a little.

"Yes, Plagg, I have gone over this at length already." Adrien sighed, with a shake of his head, "Just work with me here and say button up or v-neck."

"Nude,"

Adrien tossed the comic back down. "You’re not funny."

"Really? I'm pretty sure I'm hilarious. You are just too young to appreciate my humor."

"Yeah, sure, that's the problem." Adrien looked between the two shirts he had before tossing the one aside. "V-neck. Definitely the v-neck."

He cradled the shirt close to him and Plagg had a moment of sincerity. Adrien was really happy about this date. He had never seen him so excited before. For decades Plagg had watched humans fall in love over and over. He could never really understand it since kwamis were incapable of the romantic love humans felt but he knew what familial love felt like. He knew that he loved Adrien as his chosen. If romantic love was anything like that then he wouldn't spoil the experience for Adrien anymore today. Tease him about any funny slip ups he may experience later, yes. But for today he would let the boy be. He deserved it.

---

"You really didn't have to see me off for my date, Alya." Marinette said, "I'm fine."

"You know I had to come. It's your first date with Adrien. No way was I gonna miss this." Alya kicked her feet excitedly, "I wanna hear all about it when you get back."

"What? Are you just gonna hang out here until I get home? Are you that interested in how my date goes that you’re going to wait up for me?"

"Duh, was that not obvious?"

"Well then," Marinette transformed, "how do I look?"

"You look like Ladybug."

"Right…" Ladybug looked at herself in the mirror before pulling the ribbons out of her hair to let it loose. "There, a little more casual. Right?"

"Sure, girl, a superhero wearing her hair down. Casual to the max." Alya rolled her eyes. "Now get going or you'll be late."

"Okay, see you later." She jumped through the trapdoor of her balcony and was off. Her heart was thundering loud in her chest the closer she got to the theater. She stopped at the building across from it and searched the faces heading inside. Then like a beacon under the neon lights she saw him. Adrien.

Okay. Be cool. Don't do anything stupid.

She fixed her hair and jumped off the building. She landed in her best hero pose across the street from him. When she looked up he was staring at her in awe.

Nailed it!

She then promptly tripped on the curb crossing the street.

"Watch it!" Adrien caught her by the arms before she could collide with the concrete, "You okay?"

"Yeah! Thanks! I've taken much worse tumbles than that." she laughed it off. "Guess you saved me this time."

"Uh yeah, I guess," Adrien fidgeted with his ring, "You look really nice. You're wearing your hair differently."

"Heroes gotta let their hair down sometimes, huh?" she chuckled to herself. "Consider it my unofficial off-duty look. Not that I'm ever really off-duty but you get what I mean."

"I get what you mean." They stood for a moment just staring at one another in mutual lovestruck awe before either of them remembered they were here for a date.

“Should we head in?” Adrien pointed back to the theater.

“Right, yes, we should do that.” they wandered inside and immediately gazes were drawn as they made their way to purchase their tickets. Despite her arguing that she could buy her own ticket Adrien insisted on getting it for her. She played truce and bought the snacks instead.

They followed the crowd into the theater. A few people stopped Ladybug to get some pictures or an autograph. Adrien patiently waited with the snacks as he scanned the room for good seats. It was surprisingly packed for such a late showing. “Uh Ladybug,” Adrien called for her attention, “I’m gonna go save us some seats so you come by whenever you’re done.”

“I’ll be right there. Thanks.” she gave him a thumbs up before going back to her fans. She really didn’t mind when fans came up to her, she was always honored, but she was here for a date. It didn’t feel right to let him go off on his own so she could take pictures.

The lights started to go down and she used that as her excuse to take her seat. She edged past the other theater goers and sat down in the chair next to Adrien. “Sorry about all that,” she whispered as the movie started, “You have my attention for the rest of the night. Promise.”

“Don’t worry. I totally get it. People stop me when I’m out with friends from time to time.” Adrien assured her. “I’m just glad to be here with you at all.”

Marinette blushed red hot and she found herself thankful for the dark theater. “I’m happy to be here with you too.”

The movie started in ernest and they drew their attention to it. Every once in a while she would catch him watching her instead of the movie or he would spot her staring at him. They’d quickly look away and smile, trying to keep their attention on what was happening on the screen. At one point she went to put her arm on the arm rest between them and nearly jumped out of her seat when she fully laid her hand overtop Adrien’s without noticing.

“Sorry,” Adrien blurted out but was quickly shushed by the audience, “sorry,” he whispered in a quieter voice, “you can have it.”

“No, no, you can have it--I just--”

“No. Really, I’ve been hogging it all night. You take it.”

“I don’t need it. Please, just take it--”

“One of you had better take it and shut up already.” someone behind them hissed.

“Sorry,” Ladybug squeaked. She moved to put her arm back and bumped into Adrien who was doing the same thing. They giggled for a moment. Then Adrien rested his arm on it with his palm facing up.

His eyes met hers with a shy, expectant smile. Oh! She bit her lip and laid her arm on top of his and interlaced their fingers together. Tonight was the best night ever just for this!

They stayed holding hands for the rest of the movie and when they got up to leave they were still interlocked. Neither wanted to let the connection break just yet. They walked out of the theater and into the cool night air.

“This was a lot of fun.” Ladybug said, “I’m glad you agreed to come out with me.”

“I’m still surprised you asked me out in the first place.” Adrien said, his gaze traveled down to their interlaced hands, “This was really nice.”

“Do you have a ride home?” Ladybug asked.

“No chauffeur tonight,” Adrien looked down the street then back at her, his voice dropping low to a whisper, “Between you and me, I’m not supposed to be out here.”

“How rebellious!” Ladybug scoffed, with a mock scandalized face, “Did you sneak out to come here tonight? I don’t know, Adrien. That’s top tier felon behaviour. I may have to turn you in.”

“Oh please, Ladybug, have mercy.” he pleaded with the same level of theatrics, “I meant no harm! Don’t send me to the slammer!”

“Oh alright,” Ladybug giggled, “I can’t throw a pretty face like yours in jail. You wouldn’t last ten minutes with all those other big bads. All those jaywalkers and litterbugs, they’d tear you apart.”

“You underestimate me, I could have control of the yard in five.”

“I bet you could.” she shook her head. “So since you don’t have a ride home did you need a lift? I can get you back lickety split.”

“How about instead of a lift you give me an escort.” Adrien asked, his big green puppy dog eyes blinking down at her, “As fun as the movie was I didn’t really get to talk to you which is the one thing I wanted to do most tonight.”

“How can I say no to that?” she squeezed his hand tighter, “I want to get to know you better too.”

They left the theater on foot back towards Adrien’s house. Neither had anywhere to be and no rush to end their date just yet so they kept the pace slow and let themselves take the long way around.

“Let me start simple,” Adrien said, “What is your favorite color?”

“Pink. But not like a hot neon pink, more of a soft sunset pink. What about you?”

“Blue. It’s just so relaxing to look at in almost all its forms. I think my favorite shade would have to be a soft sky blue though.”

“That’s nice. Alright, my question.” Ladybug pondered it for a moment, “What is your most treasured memory?”

“Wow. Starting off strong huh? I feel kinda ridiculous with my color question.”

“Don’t be. Sorry. I should have said something a little simpler, shouldn’t I?”

“No. I like your question. I just need to think about it. Gimme a second.” Adrien said as he started to think. He was really thinking this through. “I think my most treasured memory would be Christmas Eve when I was six.”

“Not Christmas morning?”

“The morning was great but I’ll never forget the night prior.” Adrien’s eyes took on a far away look, “It was as basic as Christmas Eve’s go. I wanted to stay up so I could meet Santa. My parents said that he wouldn’t come if I stayed up though and sent me off to bed. It was around midnight and I heard a noise coming from downstairs. I assumed it was Santa so I swung out of bed and raced out of my room to catch him before he could leave.

“I got down there and I found presents under the tree but no Santa. There was a light on in the kitchen and I figured he must be getting his milk and cookies. I go up to the door and push it open. There’s no Santa in the kitchen but there are my parents. My mom is sitting on the island munching on a gingerbread cookie, father is looking in the fridge, there’s quiet Christmas music playing on the radio next to them.

“My father closes the fridge and holds up a piece of mistletoe he must have hidden in there. Mom laughs and when he went in to kiss her she held up the gingerbread man so he kissed that instead. Father looked grumpy and bit the head off. Mom gasped and was all like, “I cannot believe you decapitated Mister Gingy! He had three kids you monster!” which made me laugh. Of course now they know I’m there and father picks me up and tells me I should be in bed and all that stuff. I wasn’t listening and instead I grabbed the mistletoe and held it up to mom. I meant it so my parents could kiss but instead they both kissed my cheeks instead. We stayed up for at least another hour eating cookies and drinking warm milk and hot coco before I fell asleep and they put me back to bed.”

“That is so cute!” Ladybug gushed, “I can see it all in my head. Squishy faced kiddie Adrien sneaking out of bed and eating cookies with his parents. That’s a really sweet memory.”

“I’ll never forget it.” Adrien sighed. For a moment he looked so sad and Marinette wondered if maybe she shouldn’t have asked him. The memory of his mom probably hurt to think about. “What about you? What’s your most treasured memory?”

Now that was a tough one. She couldn’t really go into childhood stories since it would give away too much as to her identity. It was then she thought of the perfect story. “There is one memory I hold really close to my heart.” she said.

“I was on patrol one evening by myself. It was raining but I didn’t want to go home cause I was going through some stuff emotionally and I didn’t want to be cooped up. So I’m running and running and I almost slip off the roof. I realize I should take a break so I huddle under this awning of this closed cafe to catch my breath and see if the rain lets up. I’m waiting for maybe five minutes and because I’m not moving my emotions from before I starting to catch up to me. I’m on the verge of breaking down when out of nowhere Chat Noir lands on the sidewalk in front of me. I say land but he more or less faceplanted. He has a box covered in a plastic bag to keep it dry that he’s holding off the ground. He pulls himself up like he didn’t just have an intimate meeting with the concrete and walks over to me like it is the most casual thing in the world. Now mind you, I was not expecting to see him. I didn’t tell him I was coming out here nor did he have any idea where I was but he found me nonetheless.

“He huddles under the awning with me and takes the plastic bag off the box. I realize at this point it is a wrapped present. I ask him what this is supposed to be for and he tells me that since we don’t know when each other’s birthdays are he was going to pick a random day to give me a birthday present. And apparently this rainy evening was that day. I tried telling he didn’t need to but he insisted so I take the present and unwrap it. When I tell you, this idiot actually gifted me a black cat onesie with a cat ear hood and little toe beans on the feet. I started laughing and asked if he had a matching ladybug onesie and he told me he did. I start laughing harder and I can tell he thinks that I’m laughing at him so I quickly assure him I’m not. I tell him I really love the gift and I give him a hug. To him he probably thinks that he just gave me a nice present but in reality he pulled me back from a really sad place without even knowing it.

“Of course the second I got home I put the onesie on and started thinking of a birthday present I could get for him. I wanted it to be perfect as a sort of thank you for cheering me up when I was in a really bad mood. I never told him just how much that one little present, that one encounter, helped me but it did. I like to think about it whenever I get in a bad mood. Remembering his mop of drenched hair and that big expectant smile never fails to cheer me up.”

When she looked back at Adrien he looked close to tears. “Oh hey, are you okay? Did I say something? What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” he wiped at his eyes with his free hand, “It’s just, your friendship with him is great. I think that the next time you see him you should tell him how much that meant to you. I’m sure it would make him really happy.”

“I think I will,”

They got to Adrien’s house and they both stood frozen on the sidewalk. “Guess it’s time to say goodbye now.”

“Guess so,” Adrien stared up at the tall stone walls. “All good thinks must come to an end.”

“There are always more good times to come though.” Ladybug said, “Speaking of which, would you be interested in going on a second date sometime?”

“I would love to.” Adrien answered with a bright smile. “How do I get a hold of you?”

“I’ll come to you.” she let go of his hand to wrap around his waist. With a flick of her wrist she sent her yo-yo up and pulled them off the ground. They swung into his room and she deposited him back down safely. “Goodnight, Adrien. I had a wonderful time and I’ll be by to see you again soon.”

“Goodbye Ladybug. Tonight was...it was perfect.” He leaned in closer or maybe it was Marinette that leaned in but one of them leaned in. Then just as quickly they withdrew. Arms hugged close to their sides.

“I should get going,” Ladybug stumbled back towards the window. She poised to throw her yo-yo but she made the mistake of taking one final look back at Adrien. He was watching her with such a soft and loving expression. She couldn’t just end it like this.

She rushed back to him and kissed his cheek. “See you later, bye!” she fully vaulted herself out the window the next instant and booked it as fast as she could back home. She dropped down onto her balcony. Her heart was beating fast and her face ached from how hard she was smiling.

---

(Part 1) (Previous) (Probably another part cause I know no self control and you people enable me)

[liquor-and-intellect]

Clouded- Part 1

In which Jules might or might not have feelings for her best friend, Harry, who is getting engaged to another girl and everything just becomes... more complicated. 

or

friends to lovers to enemies to lovers- it’s complicated

“Where are you even at right now, Harry? I don't see you,” I laughed into the phone, scanning the train station for the familiar broad shoulders and soft brown hair.

“Uh... I'm by a big sign...”

I plugged my other ear from the excess chatter around me. “Yeah, because that narrows it down,” I scolded and rolled my eyes.

Maneuvering my way through the crowd I felt a hand grab my wrist, spinning me around to the wide smile I grew up loving.

“There you are,” he laughed into my hair, pulling me into his chest for a tight hug.

Wrapping my arms around his waist, I breathed in the smell of his favorite cologne.

It had been one long month since I had last seen Harry. One long month of hardcore English papers, late night studying sessions and the occasional all-nighter for an early exam. Even though we both lived in London, it felt like we never saw one another anymore. Between my new semester at uni and Harry's rising fame with his solo career, it was hard to sit down with the familiarity of a childhood face even for one moment.

I had been in the middle of closing my apartment door and wrestling the keys out of the lock when I answered Harry's call last week. He had been in the states working with the band on the new album and had just received the news that he had a week off.

“And I felt that we have a lot of catching up to do,” he had chuckled through the phone and my heart had ached with longing for our hour long conversations. It had been too long since I had sat down with my best friend.

“We do,” I had sighed into the phone.

Harry and I had grown up next to each, our birthdays only being months apart. Every memory I had was branded with a piece of him in it. First day of year one, first stitches, first prom... All of it lived with him by my side. I didn't know a life without him until I moved away for uni and he became famous, spending months away from me in different countries. The invisible cord that kept us connected was pulled so taut it hurt.

But the aching was subsiding as I leaned into his chest right now in the train station, the cord snapping us back together as I hugged him like I did when I was younger.

“When did you get so buff?” I laughed, squeezing his bicep. “it hasn't been that long, has it?”

He pulled away to examine his arm with thoughtful eyes. With a humble shrug he gave a simple, “Eh.”

I rolled my eyes. He was still the same Harry I had always known, the one that rarely thought of himself and refused to believe he was nothing but the lanky, over-looked teenager he had once been.

He gave me a gentle nudge. “Let's go before people realize I'm here. I'd rather pictures of me not get out before I’ve had the chance to see my mum”

He put his hand at the bottom of my spine, guiding me out of the crowd toward the waiting taxi. A warm London breeze slipped its way between us, blowing my dark hair out of it's braid and around my face.

“How does an ever-waiting Buffy the Vampire marathon sound?” I asked, settling in the seat beside him and taking note of the new stubble contagiously making its way around his jawline.

An eyebrow raised and a boyish smirk lifting the corner of his mouth, he replied, “I assume that implies pizza rolls?”

“When have you ever been over to my apartment and not been graced with pizza rolls?” It was somewhat of a tradition of ours to eat pizza rolls together. Neither one of us being graced with the ability to cook well— and a tendency to always overcook things when we did try—our parents gave up and started buying us the only thing that couldn't be ruined with an oven timer. The late nights in my basement watching Friday the 13th—or any scary movie we could get our hands on from my dad's secret collection— and the smell of pizza rolls dancing through the air had been our favorite thing to do.

The taxi wove its way across the busy street towards the corner by the university where my apartment was located. A tiny brick complex with ivy running up the side and a rack of bikes chained out front. It was small and my neighbors were ultimately quiet—although their cigarette smell would sometimes drift up to my tiny balcony— I was content. It was the quietest part of London that I could find.

Harry followed me up the metal stairs to my door, his tall figure looking strange against my lame potted plants and worn out “welcome” mat in the entrance. Turning the key into the lock, I pushed it open, the familiar melody of creaking hinges inviting us in.

“Remind me to fix that for you,” he hummed, running his hand across the dry bolts that held it to the frame.

I rolled my eyes at his worry, closing the door behind us.

My place was small and cozy. A one-bedroom brick walled apartment with dark wooded floor and a simply tiled I'm-not-a-chef kitchen. Harry waltzed straight into my living room, kicking his boots off and tossing himself onto my brown leather couch.

“How's Elaine?” I asked while walking into the kitchen to dig out the pizza rolls, thinking of the pictures of Harry and his girlfriend of two years that he had posted lately. She was a big- time traveling dancer, hitting the Hollywood spotlight with him all the time. Although I had met her on plenty of occasions, we never really clicked besides the one mutual subject of Harry. I wasn't sure if she liked me or not or just finally accepted my occurring appearance in Harry's life, but she was pretty quiet when Harry and I wanted to hang out- no longer the original reaction when she was completely jealous.

“She's good,” he called back from my couch, the noise of the television surrounding his voice. “she's actually in New York right now for Justin Timberlake's tour that just started. I saw her last week.”

I nodded, slipping the tray into the oven. Sliding Harry's legs out of the way, I joined him on the couch where he had started a sitcom. He laid his feet back into my lap without skipping a beat, keeping his eyes glued to the TV.

“You never told me if you went on a second date with that Will bloke,” he said.

I grimaced. Will had been a guy I had met at the student center a couple of weeks back. He was… okay, a Nike wearing, gel-haired and ready-to-party kind of guy. With nothing to do for a Friday night, I had agreed to let him take me to a restaurant down the street. He had been pretty nice, opening the door for me and laughing at my lame jokes. We had even had a pretty heavy make-out session back at his place, a well-deserved orgasm and a cordial “see you around” when I made a hasty exit.

“Because I didn't,” I mumbled, playing with the hem of Harry's pants by his ankles.

“Why don't you ever date, Jules?” he asked with pure curiosity. “I see the way guys look at you, you know you're gorgeous, right?”

I rolled my eyes, ignoring his last statement. “We didn't really hit it off, he wasn't that great. After I left his place… I just wasn’t feeling excited to see him again, y’know?”

“Left his place?” he inquired. “You went to his place.”

Shame settled in my eyes as I glanced down. While Harry was my best friend, I didn’t really disclose my sex life with him. I knew he had one and I’m sure he assumed I did as well. It just wasn’t something I ever felt was needed to be shared. I sighed, “Like I said… he wasn’t that great.”

His eyes glared into the side of my head until he used his foot to push my eyes to his, giving me a stare that was hard to place.

Swatting his foot away, I gave him an annoyed look.

He cleared his throat. “You say that about every guy,” he accused.

Trying to lighten the conversation, I poked him in the side. “I don't say that about you,” I added playfully.

He rolled his eyes and gave into our comfortable banter. “You're a mess.”

“You don't know how to true that is.”

 ….

“This was my favorite episode,” Harry said, nodding toward the TV and grabbing another steaming pizza roll off of the plate in front of us.

I watched as Buffy staked yet another vampire, not a hair out of place. “Mine too,” I agreed. “American television is just better in general.”

We had pushed my glass coffee table to the side of the room, dragging the comforter off my bed along with every one of the blankets I had in my closet onto the hardwood floor in front of the TV. Harry and I had huddled up with our backs against the couch, his long legs stretched in front of him and my ankles folded beneath me. I had a plate heaping with hot pizza rolls for us, Harry pushing one after another into his mouth.

“Do you remember in Grade 10 when you wore that hideous plaid skirt that went to your knees and no one talked to you for the rest of the day?” he asked, smirking at me over a pizza roll that had paused in front of his lips.

“Do you remember when you used to straighten your hair and would sing opera for every school talent show?” I rose an eyebrow at him.

He squinted his eyes at me, furrowing his brow.

I laughed, playfully hitting him in the arm. “It's okay because we were both losers together.”

The corner of his mouth lifted. “We are quite the pair.”

He went to sink his teeth into the pizza roll, when it split in half and flung sauce across his face. His chin and cheeks tainted with the reddish sauce.

I laughed at the dumfounded look he gave me, my eyes watering and my side cramping. Harry's tongue flicked out to reach the sauce at the corner of his mouth, his eyes crinkling with concentration.

“Did I get it?” he asked, looking at me innocently.

I giggled and shook my head, scooting closer to him. “No, Harry... it's all over your face, bub.” I looked down as my laughter bubbled up again.

Crinkles around his eyes formed as he smiled at my laughing. “Well?” he asked. “Are you going to get it off of me?”

I licked my thumb and rubbed at the corner of his jaw. I knew Harry's face like the back of my hand, but looking this close at him within this moment he seemed different. I guess I never realized just how much he had actually matured. His jaw was structured, the valley of it dipping down to his chin and holding two full, pink lips. Lips that were slightly naturally pouted right now, parted and surrounded by pizza sauce. And the stubble he had let grow out below his nose and scattering itself back around his chin was something else entirely different— Harry wasn't that little boy anymore.

I knew he wasn’t a boy. There would be times he’d release new pictures from magazines, hair slicked back, shirtless, tattoos on display… but I tried not to linger too long on them. It was Harry. My Harry.

It made me think of the countless times we had gone places where people had mistaken us as a couple and our quiet denying, “No, no, we're just friends.” And I never questioned it. I never even thought differently until this moment.

Thoughtlessly, I ran my thumb across the valley of his bottom lip even though no pizza sauce resided there. His light green eyes watched me intently, but didn’t make any move to stop me.

This— this fluttery feeling erupted in my the pit of my stomach taking flight into my ribcage where my heart did this strange thing that didn't exactly feel like beating, but skipping or dancing or maybe even spinning.

With my thumb resting in the middle of his bottom lip, his mouth closed around me, framing my finger with a small kiss and it did strange things to my heart.

But he was my best friend and even though we technically weren't doing anything it was wrong to feel this way about Harry. He had Elaine and I... this wasn't supposed to be happening.

I removed my thumb from between his lips, brushing hurriedly on his chin for the rest of the remaining sauce.

“Um-” I stuttered, feeling shaky and almost way too light. “I- uh- I.” I cleared my throat and looked down as red rose to my cheeks- I have never blushed in front of Harry before.

He released a long breath that he must have been holding, not letting his eyes leave my face.

Wiping my hands on my leggings, I shakily said, “I think I got it all off.”

“Jules, I-”

“I'm sorry, I just... you know. Spaced out for a second... there.” I nodded with myself.

He sat up straighter, holding his chin an inch higher. “Jules, I need to tell you something,” he stated, his voice rough.

I put my hands between my knees to prohibit them from doing anything else without my knowledge and nodded for him to continue, he looked so distressed.

“I um-” he cleared his throat. “The reason I wanted to see you this week was...” His eyes flicked away from mine to anything else in the room.

I narrowed my eyes at him, confused by what he was about to say. Usually I could read him so well but after what just happened... I didn't know.

“I'm going to propose to Elaine,” he said, looking at his hands resting in his lap.

My heart chipped at the edges, but I wasn't sure why. He was my best friend... shouldn't I be happy for him?

“Harry-” my voice cracked, but I couldn't let it. I couldn't let whatever I was feeling get in the way for Harry to have everything he had ever wanted out of life. And nothing even happened, it wasn't like we kissed or anything. It was just a stupid thing that I got carried away with because I didn't realize how incredibly attractive he was. That was it, that's all.

I pushed a pained smile onto my face, refusing to let it crack any piece of me. “Harry... That's... Great- lovely. I'm so happy for you.”

I wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him close to me, letting his arms slip around my waist and his warm breath to brush my neck.

“I'm glad, Jules... Because if you wouldn't be okay with it, I don't know what I would have done,” he murmured, his prickly cheek brushing against mine.

“Why wouldn't I be okay with it, Harry?” I asked, trying to push the aching away into a far corner of my mind where it would never be invited over again. “You're my best friend. I want you to be happy… no matter what.” Even if my confused feelings suffered.

“I don't know... I didn't want you to think that if I married Elaine she would be the only woman in my life,” he said. “I wanted you to understand that you could still be there, you know. Even if we couldn't hang out all the time.”

I squeezed my eyes shut, pushing out my next words. “Harry. You're like my brother, there's no way I can be pushed completely out of the picture.”

I wasn't sure if I felt him pull me tighter or if I wanted him too.

 …

I laid with my back to Harry on my living room floor, a warm blanket tucked tightly around me and my ears heightened to hear his soft snores. We had both talked a little while longer about me wanting to be a psychologist and him wondering if fame had completely altered his personality. And after a few pizza rolls later, I agreed with him that I was tired and rolled over when I saw his eyes were officially closed. I wasn't tired though, rather awake and alert and buzzing with electricity. Here was my best friend who was in love with his soon to be fiance' and here I was hoping silently that maybe he would chang his mind. Maybe he realized that... I don't know- I don't know what I wanted.

I wanted him to be happy, I was one hundred percent certain with every cell in my body that I wanted Harry Styles to receive all of the love he himself gave into the world. I wanted Elaine— or any girl— to wake up next to him every morning thinking of different ways to love him that day. He deserved all the goodness you could find in the earth's heart multiplied by ten. He needed someone to assure him when he doubted himself- because he usually did- someone to rub his muscled shoulder and tell him he didn't need to worry about things out of his control.

I sighed, hoping and praying to God that Elaine realized this. That she realized he wore his heart on his sleeve and was perfectly fine with it being torn into shreds.

Harry stirred in his sleep, turning onto his side facing me and mumbling something incoherent. I rolled over, taking in his peaceful sleeping face and wondering if this was the last time we could ever sleep next to each other without Elaine getting in the way.

Harry moved closer to me, resting his chin on the top of my head, my ear pressed to his chest where the melody of a steady beat rang through. And that's where I fell asleep, listening to the only thumping of anyone's blood I cared to hear.

***

“Want eggs? I know how to make those now,” I asked Harry who was just starting to open his eyes from sleep, stretching his large arms out around him.

I had woken up with my head on his chest and his arms wrapped tightly around me. Quickly, without waking him, I had slid out and went to my room to sit on my bed and think of the cold absence from where I had been folded around him. I had been awake thinking for a while now when he finally started opening his eyes.

He nodded. “Yeah,” he mumbled, his voice nicely groggy from sleep, a silky melodious sound that I lived for. “yeah that sounds nice.”

I gave him a smile, loving the messiness of his hair and the droop of his eyes.

Harry shoveled plenty of my poor eggs into his mouth, he had always had an appetite and being a man didn't lessen that one bit. We lightly talked over coffee, Harry saying he wanted to look at some of the jewelry stores in town and wanted my input on rings for Elaine. I politely agreed and gave him a smile, even though it physically pained me.

Later, I tossed my hair up into a high ponytail, pulling my feet into a pair of chunky sneakers and a warm gray oversized sweater. The temperature had dropped in London and small drizzle was falling over the sidewalks.

I followed Harry down my apartment steps to the waiting taxi on the side of the street. He said he knew of a jewelry store on the edge of town where no paparazzi would bother us.

The small rain was still falling when we got out and I glanced through the glass windows to sparkling rings sitting on velvet cushions. Harry's eyes brightened as I walked in behind him into the immediate blast of the warm heater from the store.

“I don't know what kind of a ring to get her... There's so many,” he sighed, eyes passing over the diamonds in the cases.

As much as I didn't want to give my honest input, I knew he needed my help. I rubbed his arm thoughtfully, sliding my hand into the crook of his elbow to glance over his shoulder. The butterflies erupted again in my stomach, but I pushed them away. “What does she like?” I asked. “Does she want something flashy...? Thoughtful...?” I dusted my eyes over the yellow diamonds. “Unique?”

Harry looked nervous, eyes skipping from one ring to the next and before eventually shrugging.

“Looking for a wedding ring, loves?” said a balding man in a blazer walking from behind the counter. Leaning on the case in front of us, he looked between Harry and I with expectant eyes.

“Uh, yeah,” Harry told him, giving a slight chuckle. “and already failing.”

I sighed. “You're overthinking it. Don't worry too much,” I said, giving him an encouraging smile.

The man gazed over at us, a soft grin on his face. “Well, let's start with what you like, love,” he said, looking at me.

I stared at him for a second, slightly confused. Then, when it registered, I detached myself from Harry, shaking my head. “No, no, no, we aren't... together,” I said through a shaky laugh.

“She's my friend,” Harry told him, wringing his hands together.

The man nodded. “Yes, lad, so sorry. You lot just seem as if you were already married.” Gesturing to the two of us before moving on to a selection of rings. “If you see we have...”

I didn't hear what he said after that, because the thought of Harry here for me made my heartbeat impossibly fast.

It was a strange thing. Having a single moment that changed the way you looked at a person. Here I was, walking down the street with someone I've known my entire life—and here I was hoping that I would walk too close and our arms would brush just a little, just so I could feel him for a small moment.

I didn't want to feel this way. Even as his fingertips brushed mine, I knew it was wrong, but  why did everything feel so natural?

Harry led us to a cafe behind a few business buildings where the rain had finally died down. He had been quiet since we had left the store empty handed. I told him if nothing immediately reminded him of her, just to sleep a night and go back tomorrow, eventually he nodded and let me drag him out for lunch.

We sat at a table outside, the slick wind slipping up and around us, raising goosebumps across my arms.

“Why didn't you wear a coat?” Harry asked, looking away from the dreary sky to my awaiting eyes.

“I didn't realize hell was freezing over,” I mumbled, crossing my arms.

He sighed and slid off his coat. “And yet, this isn't the first time I've scolded you for not bringing a coat,” he said, giving me a little smile that warmed my heart after his previous sad attitude. “Here.” He nodded toward his leather jacket.

I've lost too many arguments on this subject before, so I greedily took it and wrapped it tightly around my shoulders, breathing in his cologne.

The waiter brought out our food and I didn't hesitate to hungrily pour sauce across my fries, listening to my stomach growl in response.

A loose piece of hair glided across my face from the gentle breeze, sliding across my plate and succeeding in smearing sauce across my cheek.

I gasped. “How did that even happen?” I mumbled under my breath, grimacing as I attempted to clean my hair of the food.

Harry chuckled, taking in my disheveled appearance before leaning across the table and removing the hair from my eyes and tucking it gently away. The tips of his fingers lingered behind my ear for a second too long before he removed it to wipe away the ketchup at the corner of my mouth. His thumb gliding across my cheek.

His eyes met mine and this strange unsaid feeling drifted in the space between us like someone I've never met. The pad of his thumb resting below the corner of my lips.

He swallowed. “Why do we keep ending up in these kind of situations,” he murmured, his voice low and unlike the Harry I was used to interacting with.

I grabbed his hand, turning slightly to lay a kiss into his palm and watched for his reaction. His eyes stayed on me and flickered with something that I've never seen in him before. “I don't know,” I replied back, my voice as soft as the inside of his hand.

He sighed. “Jules, I don't know what you're doing to me.”

I furrowed my brow. “I'm not doing anything.” I didn't know what was happening between us either these past few days, but if it caused Harry to look at me like that then the confusion was worth it.

He chuckled softly. “You're so clueless,” he murmured, but then dropped his hand to continue eating, leaving me feeling electrified and wanting to know what he meant.

The day went on like that. We would talk for a bit—never about the engagement— then we would brush hands or Harry would lean into me, everything taunting me and pulling this thought out of the far corner of my mind.

We had been walking down the sidewalk towards my apartment, our boots splashing in the puddles and my hands in the pockets of Harry's coat when he looked up suddenly, nodding towards the sky.

“Look, it's a rainbow,” he smiled.

I stopped and turned towards it, the colors skyrocketing from behind a building.

“Aren't they the strangest thing?” I asked him, not taking my eyes off of it. “They are just so beautiful.”

He didn't answer and I glanced back over my shoulder to see if he was still standing beside me. He was. His eyes glued to my face as if I held every answer in the world.

“Harry, why are you staring at me?” I whispered, pink painting my cheeks.

A bright smile immediately hit his lips. “Did I just make you, Julia Rebecca Lovewick, blush?” He looked back up, a smile of pure pride beaming on his face.

“You were staring at me like there was something on my face,” I replied. “and I was just embarrassed because the waiter was really cute and I couldn’t have that.” I gave him a smirk to hide the fading blush.

Crinkles appeared onto his forehead. “You're such a quick thinker.” He shook his head, beginning to walk again.

“You think I'm lying.”

“I know you're lying,” he said.

“Besides the fact that our waiter was totally checking me out,” I replied, his eyes rolling. “Why were you even staring at me?”

It was his turn for the tips of his ears to turn rosy.

“Oh my goodness!” I yelled, covering my mouth with my hand. “Did I just make Harry Edward Styles blush?” I shrieked, mocking him and stopping to stare at his annoyed expression.

He rolled his eyes yet again and continued to walk, trying to ignore me.

“You were looking at me because I'm beautiful, weren't you?” I said, jogging to catch up with him and giving him a wink.

“I thought we established I was looking at you because you have something on your face.” He still refused to make eye contact with me.

I grabbed his arm and spun him around to face me. “Just admit it, Harry. You've been caught,” I said, giving him a smirk. “You think I'm pretty.”

“I think you're a lot of things, Jules.” He popped an eyebrow, crossing his arms.

I tilted my head, silently asking him to go on.

He threw his arms into the air. “You act like you don't know you're absolutely gorgeous!”

I smiled. “I do know,” I told him, starting to walk again. “It's just always nice to hear it.”

We climbed the steps and stopped in front of my door. Turning around to face him, I said, “You know, you are pretty fit yourself.” I gave him an eye-up sarcastically, sliding my keys into the lock to hear him fall into a fit of laughter.

We walked into my apartment, both still laughing, where I immediately pulled the ponytail from my hair and shook out my dark waves. “That feels fantastic,” I laughed throwing the rubber band across the room.

Harry walked up behind me, taking me by surprise by running his hand through the ends of my hair, the laughter still visible around his eyes. “You should really wear it down more often, I like it better this way,” he murmured, looking up to meet my eyes.

I wasn't sure, but I think Harry was flirting with me.

“And I like it when you don't shave for a couple of days,” I told him, running the back of my fingers across the line of his jaw.

He wrinkled his nose. “Really? I like it but Elaine hates it,” he said and I dropped my hand, shamefully thinking of his girlfriend.

Harry and I were just friends, that was it. So why was I walking such a thin line?

My heart was pounding as I walked into my bedroom, the ringing in my ears increasing. I could feel it. Plain as day and cutting my heart into two, I had a crush on Harry. Maybe it was because he was about to be officially taken or because of the way his hair parted gracefully down the middle. This feeling that has been passing between us today couldn't have been one sided. If I knew Harry, I knew that he was acting completely different around me as well.

I didn't want Harry to leave me. I didn't want him to marry someone and absolutely disappear out of my life. What would I do without him? I had friends that I casually talked to or caught coffee with but Harry was the only one who I shared my thoughts. The only one who cared enough to know if I disliked the smell of cinnamon or the artificial taste of bananas in candy.

My heart was sounding in my ears and an unusual discomfort eating its way through my chest. I couldn't breathe, my lungs weren't collecting air.

He couldn't marry someone, not when I've just developed this crush on him. Not when I've realized that falling in love with your best friend could be the most natural thing in the entire world.

I felt like the world was closing in on me. The walls shrinking in and molding themselves around my neck and chest cutting my oxygen off.

I heard a voice, muddled and underwater, lift to my ears. I couldn't make out the words or syllables, but he was here. I could feel it.

There was something I was clutching, a corner of a desk or maybe a bed frame... I didn't know. Everything was blurry and running together like colors on a canvas. My hand gripped into the fabric in front of my heart, almost as if to catch it if it decided to jump out.

There were hands on me, clutching and pulling me up. Pulling me through the surface of suffocation and closing walls to the fresh air of my bedroom. Back to the present.

All I could hear were the repeating words, “I've got you. You're okay. You are right here, Jules. Do you feel this? That's me. I'm real and I've got you.”

I was closed in Harry's arms, the opposite of claustrophobia taking place and the choking fear subsiding in my throat. The warm skin of his forearms pressing me to his chest where his heartbeat was pulsing.

“Listen to my voice, Jules,” he murmured, brushing his fingers through my hair. “Match your breathing to mine. Just like that.”

And I did, I focused on his words and exhaled with him before taking a deep breath. We did that for a couple of minutes, standing there in the middle of my floor wrapped tightly in his arms both of us rising and falling together.

“Are you okay?” he mumbled, his thumb brushing underneath my eyes where I felt the moisture of uninvited tears.

I nodded, shaking from the incident and because I was slightly embarrassed. “I- I don't know what happened.”

His large hand brushed up and down my back, combing his fingers through the hair near my spine. “I think you had a panic attack,” he said and let out a long breath. “Jules, you scared me to death... I didn't know what to do.”

“Whatever you did worked,” I muttered, working around the shakiness of my voice. I closed my eyes tight into his chest. “it brought me back.”

He wrapped his arms tighter around me, pressing his lips to the top of my head. “Do you want to talk about it?”

I shook my head quickly, I didn't want to feel that way again.

“Okay...” He held my cheeks gently, pulling me back to look me over. His thumbs brushed the edges of my face, his fingers following suit and caressing across the length of my cheekbone. He used his other hand to tuck my hair behind my ear.

I leaned into his open palm, taking note of the warm feeling of home it left me with.

“Jules, I...” He didn't finish what he was about to say because I was looking into his eyes and suddenly realized he was leaning towards me.

His lips pressing flush against mine, my heart fluttering towards the sky. Parting my mouth with his and fireworks taking place behind my closed eyes. Harry kissed me softly, his hands cradling my face and the strangest feeling being built inside of me.

My heart was beating too fast and I pulled gently back to catch my breath. Eyelashes fluttering open, I made contact with the dark eyes that were staring down at me, waiting for a reaction.

“Harry...” I didn't know what to say. I had just been shaking over the idea that this feeling was one-sided, that I was alone. Then he goes and does something like this...

“Don't, it's okay. I didn't mean—” he broke off and let go of my face, his hands falling limply at his side. “I was just too caught up in the moment and still shaken up over what just happened.” He took a step away from me.

I couldn't stop myself. “So you kissed me?” I didn't mean for it to sound so ungrateful, because I was still floating from the memory of his lips on mine.

He wrung his hands out, a nervous gesture he tended to do. “I'm so sorry...”

“Harry-” my voice cracked. “don't be sorry-”

“I'm going to go,” he said, and rushed out of my room.

No. I wasn't going to let him walk away thinking that I thought it was a mistake. I quickly followed him down the hallway where he was pushing his boots onto his feet in the living room.

“Let's just forget about it, okay?” he said, his back to me as he laced the strings.

“No-”

“It was a mistake, I just wasn't thinking-”

“Harry!” I yelled loud enough for him to turn around and see my angered expression. “Shut the fuck up!”

He stood across from me, the distance maybe ten feet or so but the electricity buzzing quickly through as if we were pressed together. His clouded eyes stayed on me, waiting for some kind of answer that I could provide that could solve the way we were feeling, something that could ease his pain from being with Elaine but still being able to look at me the way he is now.

But I didn't have an answer like he thought I always did, because I was new here too. So, I stood there like an idiot- just staring at him, thumping my brain for some form of words.

He sighed and gave a single nod, before grabbing his coat and turning towards the door.

It was then that everything happened in slow motion.

His hand, resting on the doorknob. My feet, walking quickly across the floor to him. Because I had realized then that I had no words to say— none at all.

I grabbed his face in my hands, turning him around to look at me. Not giving him a split second before I pushed my lips against his.

I wrote this on Wattpad when I was FIFTEEN YEARS OLD! I’m 21 now and thought this story deserved a fair chance. I tried my best to edit some, but it’s still a bit rough. Let me know what you think and if I should post the second part- HINT, the second part is already written, I just have to upload it ;)

[flohamilton]

can I request robin x female reader where the reader had been working at the video store before robin and Steve get jobs there and she’s a huge conspiracy theorist (not on the level of Murray tho lmao) and she has all these whack theories about Hawkins and what actually happened at the mall and then somehow she gets involved and the scoops troop + reader have to fight a demodog and she’s freaking out after and robin kisses her to calm her down ??

Conspiracy Theories 

Robin Buckley x reader 

Warnings: A little demodog action, fluff, I didn’t proof read oops, this also turned out way longer than I anticipated!!

Hi anon!! Thank you for the request, I hope you enjoy!! I’m so sorry it took me so long, I've never written a robin x reader so I was lacking inspiration for a little while, but it’s finally done!!

(This also doesn’t follow any specific point in time, it’s just some point after the events of season 3) 

"Okay my guess is aliens." You stated proudly whilst putting vhs tapes back onto their rightful shelf.

"Guess for what?" Robin asked, looking up from her pile of papers on the front counter.

"For why Starcourt was literally demolished. Aliens came down from outer space and blasted the damn building to bits and pieces." You explained intently, abandoning your vhs tapes.

"Nice try, y/n. You have no clue what your talking about." Robin scoffed, shaking her head and returning to her work.

"Okay fine then, what about reptile people? Yes that's it! Reptile people invaded the mall and destroyed it!"

"You might as well just give up now, champ, your theories are crazy and no one will ever really know what happened to starcourt." Robin said rolling her eyes.

The two of you had been playing this game for a while. When Robin and Steve got their jobs at the video store w after Starcourt was mysteriously closed down due to "Russian interference" (which you were absolutely not buying), you had become curious as to what really happened. There had to be some supernatural otherworldly reason that the mall was mysteriously shut down and you were bound to figure it out. Robin was the perfect person to find answers from because she had worked at Scoops Ahoy, the ice cream parlor inside of the mall's food court. There was no way she didn't have any information, so you had been pestering her for the past two weeks, trying to get her to crack. First you had guessed the illuminati, then the black market, now this week aliens and reptile people. You were getting closer and you knew it. You needed to know.

"Why are you so gung-ho about trying to find some conspiracy on why Starcourt closed. There were Russians spying on the government for information and the military took them down, and destroyed the mall in the process. What's so hard to understand about that?" Robin questioned.

"There's no way Russians would come all the way to Hawkins just to spy on the United States government. There has to be some bigger reason."

"You're full of shit, y/n." Robin said, shaking her head with a smirk.

These past few weeks had been the best weeks of your life with Robin, she made life so interesting and made you hate you job a little less. You had to admit that you were developing feelings for Robin and you could tell she was feeling the same way. It was exciting and scary all at the same time. Neither of you had talked about it, but it was obvious that the two of you constantly flirted with each other. Even Steve noticed.You decided to just let it happen, and a conversation would eventually come if it needed to. But for now you were extremely happy.

Suddenly Steve bursted through the doors of the video store followed by Dustin and Erica, who for some reason were constantly hanging around Steve. "WE HAVE A CODE RED, ROBIN." Steve shouted

"What dingus, why are you yelling so loud?" Robin asking, rubbing her temples

"Its back." He simply said.

"What? What's back?" Robin questioned.

"It."

All the while you were standing in shock and confusion. What was "it" and why was Steve so distraught about it?|

"We have to go, c'mon Robin, the other kids need our help!" Steve said, dragging Robin out from behind the counter.

"Yeah we have to hurry!" Dustin yelled heading towards the door.

"I am so confused, but I am coming with you guys." You said, following them all to the door.

"NO!" Robin and Steve shouted in unison.

"You really don't want to get yourself mixed up in this stuff, y/n, you don't have a clue." Robin said seriously, shaking her head.

"This all has to do with starcourt doesn't it?" You asked, and Robin stayed quiet. IT IS!! I KNEW IT!" You shouted. "I"m coming, you can't stop me."

"We don't have time for this bull, we have to go NOW." Erica shouted, catching the attention of everyone.

"Fine, c'mon y/n, but it is not my fault if you die. I'm just saying." Robin said, as she followed Steve and the kids to his car.

No one had said anything in the twenty minute ride and you were beginning to wonder what you had gotten yourself into. You were currently on a gravel back road in the middle of the woods and things were looking sketchy.

Suddenly the tress began to rustle, as it a fierce wind was blowng them, despite the perfectly calm weather outside. You also heard distinct growling noises from all directions around the car.

"Okay that's not good. ," Steve said, putting his car in park and assessing the area.

"You don't think that's-" Robin began.

"That's exactly what it think it is." Steve said as if somehow reading Robin's mind. You were in the back seat with Dustin and Erica looking around frantically trying to fine some sort of answer to the confusion you were feeling. What was blowing the trees so strongly? Where was the growling coming from? Why was everyone so nervous?

"Can someone please explain what is going on?"

Before anyone could give you an answer, you were met with a loud thud on the roof of Steve's car and a large indentation forming, visible enough to see from the inside of the car.

"What the hell was that?" You asked frantically.

"That was a dog." Dustin answered uncomfortably. "Uh Steve if you wouldn't mind I think you should drive away now."

Before Steve could even put his car into drive, a large, dog-sized, slimy, slug like creature jumped onto the front of the car, leaving a large crack through the car's windshield.

"We have to the out of here!" Erica shouted next to you in the back seat.

"For the love of God drive Steve!" Robin said, scanning the area outside of the car.

"I have a plan." Steve said, suddenly flooring the car, sending you all forward with momentum. As the car moved forward the "dogs" rolled of the car and onto the ground. Before they could get up and attack again, Steve quickly put the car into reverse and then drive and ran the dogs over. The sound of them being smashed under the tires was enough to make your stomach tense with nausea.

"There's another one coming!" Dustin shouted and pointed at a dog coming full speed from the woods.

"I got this one!" Steve said, pulling out a baseball bad with nails sticking out of all angles that you somehow hadn't noticed before. He quickly jumped out of the car and as the dog approached him, he began beating the shit out of it. Continuously pounding the bat into its body until it lay lifeless on the ground. You watched in horror as the chaos unfolded before you. Once Steve had successfully killed the small monster, he looked up and gave you all a thumbs up of approval.

"I think its safe now. I don't hear anymore growling. You guys come check this thing out!" Steve said with excitement.

You hesitantly got out of the car and carefully walked to there the master was, following closely behind Robin.

"Shit dingus, you really killed those things. Nice job." Robin said.

You were still baffled with confusion, not understanding how Steve knew the exact way to kill these things, what the dogs were, and why Robin, Steve, Dustin, and Erica were all connected to them.

"Guys this is very cool and all, but can someone please explain what is going on?" Before anyone could even begin to answer you, you were met with a loud growl and a dog running out from the woodbine again. "Guys look out!" You shouted, but before you could do anything else, the creature had pounced on you and began to bite at your shoulder, causing you to scream out in pain. Before the dog could cause anymore harm to you, Steve kicked the thing off of you and began mercilessly beating it with his nail bat, successfully killing it after a few moments.

"Oh my god, what just happened?" You questioned as Robin knelt down beside you to help you sit up. You began breathe heavily, tearing leaking from you eyes.

"I promise I'll explain everything to you, but first you have to calm down. Its all okay now, they're all dead, y/n, I promise." Robin said, squeezing your hand tightly. "You're okay, I got you" She said, pulling her tightly into her chest, rubbing you back. "Is your shoulder hurt too bad?" She asked, looking down at your injury.

You shook your head, "No, it's just a little scratched up." You said, still breathing heavily.

"Woah! "You're tough as nails, y/n. A literal monster just attacked you and you're 'just a little scratched up'." She said mocking your words.

You let out a sob, still overwhelmed with the events that had just unfolded.

"Hey, don't cry, it really hurts to see you hurt," Robin said, looking deeply into your eyes, wiping a stray tear away. She began to lean in, you mirrored her movements exactly until your lips lightly met somewhere in the middle. She kissed you softly for a moment before pulling away.

"Wow." She said, "I've been wanting to do that for a while." She said with a soft smile.

"Yeah me too." You signed, looking down, a blush coming over your face.

"You know I'm kinda crazy about you, right?"

You nodded your head and giggled, "The feeling is mutual."

The two of you sat in blissful silence for a few seconds until Steve coughed with discomfort. "This is all very charming and sweet, but I think we should get out of here right about now."

"Yeah that would probably be for the best, dingus, let's get out of here." Robin said, helping you to your feet and into the car.

"Now that this is all over with could someone please explain what is happening?" You asked, confusion coursing through your veins as Steve drove away from the murder scene.

"Yeah, we probably should explain, huh?" Steve said with a sigh.

And so the scoops troop  began telling you the entire story from the beginning. Who El was, her powers, Will, the gate,  and the demogorgan and all of its dogs. How they had battled it three times now and it was still coming back stronger than ever.

"So that's why the Russians were in the mall, because they were creating a new gate?" You asked, finally putting the pieces together.

"Yes, now you can finally stop pestering me every day with your crazy conspiracy theories." Robin smirked, grabbing your hand and squeezing it tightly, happy to have you in one piece.

Send in your requests!!

[jmeelee]

CHAPTER 2        [Read Chapter 1 here]

As soon as the sun kisses the shore of the Black Lake, Derek and his pack simultaneously rise from their seats around the common room, heads cocked in a distinctly lupine way, bodies answering a supernatural call Stiles and Lydia can not hear.

“I’d give anything to shift again,” Erica whines. Her body screams run: balled fists, hunched shoulders, muscles taut.

“It’s alright,” Boyd consoles. He reaches out, plants a huge hand on the back of her neck, blunt fingertips rubbing gentle circles into the fine blonde hairs at her nape. Isaac sways closer to her, brushing her sweater-clad shoulder with his own. Derek places one hand on Isaac’s forearm, below the rolled-up sleeve of his white button-down, and the other hand on Boyd’s broad back, completing the circle. Erica closes her eyes, whole body relaxing with a soft exhale. Everything, from their silent, comforting gestures to Boyd’s tender tone, broadcasts their connection, the bonds of devotion and friendship between them. Jealousy rears its monstrous head, spitting fire and scraping talons along the inside of Stiles’ rib cage, hoarding every affectionate gesture. You used to be that close to Derek; you should have Derek’s trust and love.

He buries the feelings and memories unearthed by the intimate scene, and falls back on his standard, reliable line of defense: being a sarcastic asshole. Stiles leans into Lydia’s personal space and mock whispers out of the side of his mouth, “That was kind of creepy.”

Lydia smacks him in the chest, hard, without sparing him a cursory glance.

Derek drops both hands from Isaac and Boyd like they’re on fire, and crosses his arms over his chest, directing angry eyebrow at Stiles. “You always knew how to ruin a moment, Stiles. Glad to find nothing has changed.” Derek is a sarcastic asshole, too, a trait Stiles likes to imagine he is at least partly responsible for. Derek stalks to the common room door, throwing it open for his friends to pass through. “Everyone knows the plan?” Five heads nod. “Good. It’s time to go.”

Derek’s decision to shed his skin and become something other never surprised Stiles; Derek had been questioning his place in the magical world before he’d ever received his Hogwarts letter. He hadn’t minded listening to Derek bemoan the lengthy, arduous process—mandrake leaves, electrical storms and all sorts of impossibly unique tasks. What he did mind was Derek’s new transformation skill came with more than additional body hair; it came with Erica, Boyd and Isaac, who, in Stiles’ loudly-voiced opinion, embodied the worst aspects of Ravenclaw House.

“You don’t even know them.” Derek had spit the words at Stiles’ feet in the Entrance Hall. Scores of voices, distorted and distant, filtered through the heavy doors of the Great Hall, a chaotic soundtrack to the dissolution of their friendship. “As if your Gryffindor girlfriend is any better?” Derek jeered. “Or Scott McCall?”

Stiles saw red. “Scott’s more puppy than snake, and you know it! And for the last time, her name is Lydia and she’s not my girlfriend!”

“Whatever.” Derek had run a thick-fingered hand through his hair, pulling at the roots in frustration, causing it to stick up in all directions. Stiles took grim satisfaction in the chaotic locks, so opposite from Derek’s usual polished exterior. “If you have a problem with my friends, than you have a problem with me.”

“Fine! If your obnoxious, revolting Ravenclaws are so important to you, go sprout a tail and piss on trees with them, and leave me and my friends the hell alone.” Stiles sneered, and uttered the words that would haunt him for almost two years. “That way I won’t have to see it.”

Derek sucked in a breath, turning hurt, wild eyes on Stiles’ stone-cold face. He’d clutched his Charms textbooks to his robe-covered chest. “So much for always. You were full of shit, as usual.” He’d spun on his heels, and marched away.

Now, as everyone drifts out of the common room, Stiles is rooted to the spot, a terrifying stray thought freezing the blood in his veins; if they fail tonight, Stiles will never get the chance to see Derek in his wolf form. Lydia heads for the door Derek holds open, but pauses when she realizes Stiles isn’t following her.

“Stiles, what is it?” she asks, raking shrewd eyes over his immobile form.

Even half hidden by a mask, Stiles can tell two bushy eyebrows are raised in question above Derek’s green-gold eyes, his fingers grip the door so hard they turn bone-white. Derek’s face will always be a Marauder's Map to Stiles, spilling secrets, no matter how much time passes. Derek thinks Stiles has second thoughts about helping him, but that isn’t the case. The brick wall Stiles erected around his heart to keep Derek at bay has been cracked and crumbling from the start, patched together with stubbornness and spite, and tonight, regret for all the time he’s wasted claws at the mortar.  

Stiles looks to Lydia, blinking fast, mouth gaping but no words spilling forth to express all the what if’s bottle-necking in his throat. “I know,” she says, firm but gentle, and the rare softness in her voice dispels his panic, “but you’ll get the chance.”

Derek glances between them, mouth tight. His shoulders fall. “Come on, guys. We have a long night ahead of us.”

*****

They tiptoe through hidden corridors, avoiding detection from portraits and professors, and skirt along the outer walls of the castle, flying past Hagrid’s hut on fleet feet. It amazes him there isn’t a path worn permanently in the grass leading down the hill past the Whomping Willow. He and Derek traipsed this exact route countless times, courting adventure—and a fair share of trouble—over the years. They broach the shadowy tree line as sunset slips from the sky, where thick spring foliage swallows the last of the warm, dying rays. Stiles shivers, partly from the temperature drop under the leafy canopy, and partly from the ominous feeling of the Forbidden Forest settling into his bones. The reasons this place is off limits to students have never felt more consequential.

Boyd and Isaac lead the way down the dark path, conversing quietly, dead leaves and twigs snapping under their loafers. Derek and Lydia walk together, heads bent close, rehashing the plan yet again. The familiar scents of damp earth and Lydia’s perfume wafts toward Stiles on a cool, fragrant breeze. Glimmering eyes follow their progress from hollow tree trunks, as Stiles lags behind the group, with Erica keeping pace.

“I stand by what I said,” she declares, boldly.

Stiles rolls his eyes, side-stepping a gnarled tree root. “And what was that, exactly? When you told me I looked like a wart-faced toad during the Yule ball?” Stiles smirks. “Or was it when I scored higher than you on all my O.W.L.’s, and you told me to eat slugs?”

Derek quickly glances back when Erica laughs, loud and carefree. Be nice, he mouths. Stiles isn’t sure which of them he’s admonishing.

“Neither.” She playfully punches Stiles in the shoulder, with a bit more force than necessary. “In the common room tonight, when I said you were supposedly the best wizard Hogwarts had seen in ages. I still can’t believe someone so clever could be dumb enough to drop his best friend like a sack of potatoes.”

Stiles bristles, eyes grimly focused on a lone grey squirrel scampering up the bark of a tree, loudly announcing to the world that it’s late for bed. “I’d call it a ‘mutual dropping’.” He makes air quotes. “Derek didn’t like Scott and Lydia, and I didn’t like you three. Still don’t.” Stiles bites the inside of his lips. “It was better to part ways,” he says in a softer voice. “Not all childhood friendships last.”

A rude noise escapes from under Erica’s mask. “Well that’s bullshit. Did Derek actually say he hated Lydia or Scott? Did he ever utter those words?”

“Well no, but—”

“Because he didn’t. He doesn’t. He resented the time you were spending with them. He’s not like you, Stiles. Derek doesn’t make friends easily. People don’t flock to him like they do to you.” She appreciatively eyes Derek's pert backside. “Despite how good looking he is.”

“Don’t try to distract me with Derek’s perfect butt. We hate each other, and Boyd and Isaac don’t tolerate me either. There was as much bad blood on your end as there is on mine. You three think you’re better than me, better than everyone.”

She scoffs. “Don’t tell me you buy in to the rubbish about our house placements determining our personalities. If someone has shown me kindness, I return the favor. You’re not my favorite person at Hogwarts, I’ll admit, but that wasn’t always the case. In third year, I tried to be your partner in potions.”

“What?!” Stiles’ incredulous eyebrows can rival Derek’s. “You did not. I’d remember.”

“I thought you were smart and funny. I thought we could get top marks in class if we worked together. I certainly didn’t think I was better than you. You didn’t even notice me. So I thought, why waste my time liking this guy if he only cares about himself?”

Stiles stops walking, turning to face her fully in the feeble light of green glowing insects and a waxing crescent moon. Overhead, branches bang against each other like drumsticks in the hands of a giant. “I don’t only care about myself.”

Erica pauses, contemptible smile full of sharp white teeth beneath her gold mask. “Oh, sorry. You, Lydia Martin and Scott McCall. Derek Hale didn’t make the cut.”

He sucks in a noseful of wild herbs and rotting wood. “That’s so unfair.”

She takes one step closer, a pine cone splintering under her foot, chin jutted high and feet planted wide. “When we all started to spend more time together, I asked Derek why he hung around with you; you were so self-involved. Do you want to know what he said?”

“Not really, but I’m guessing you’re going to tell me anyway.” All around them, the cacophony of the forest falls silent; no buzzing insects, no hooting owls or the flutter of unseen wings, no foraging of animals in the detritus. The eerie silence lends itself to Erica’s ominous admission.

“He told me, Stiles is the most loyal friend in the world.”

Stiles stares at Derek’s back, growing further away with each heartbeat. His fingers itch for his wand, for the orange and purple ropes of a Carpe Retractum, something to force the distance between them to close. “It was a mistake.” The whispered confession loosens something in his chest. “I’ve missed him every day.”

“Hey guys!” Boyd pivots, squinting in the low light and yells, hands cupped around his mouth. “Hurry up! It’s right here.” He points to a trailing canopy of moss.

Erica pushes Stiles forward. “Maybe tell the guy? Before we all get trapped in the Faerie Realm and dance ourselves to death.”

They march on, but a few yards from the rest of the group Erica grabs Stiles’ shoulder, halting his progress. “And Stiles?”

“Yeah?” He doesn’t think he’s imagining the softening of the hard lines around her mouth when she looks at him. It’s minute, but a spark of hope ignites in his chest.

“Derek missed you too.”

*****

Lydia digs the invisibility cloak out of her satchel. “You don’t have to do this,” Stiles tells her, grabbing hold of her forearms and bending down slightly to peer into her eyes. They’ve been over the plan a hundred times, but he still needs her to know. “You could stay out here, go for help if we don’t return.”

She shakes her head, strawberry-blond tresses trailing along her shoulders. “Who else is going to save the day if you fuck this up?” She throws her arms around his shoulders and squeezes him tightly.

The cloak falls over her head, removing her from sight. “So, Stiles?”

“Yeah?” He answers the disembodied voice in front of him.

“Don’t fuck up.”

Isaac reaches out, pushes through a thick canopy of vines hanging from an old, tall oak tree, and Stiles shudders as he steps over the threshold of a world outside their own—a strange and wonderful twilight kingdom. A reverent hush falls over their entourage.

Stiles has never witnessed anything like it—and he’s grown up with magic. A silver forest stretches ahead of them, as far as the eye can see. When they’d been in the human world, the moon was almost new, a sliver of pale yellow light, but now a full moon leads them down a narrow footpath. Under the moonlight the pure silver leaves sparkle and dance like musical chimes. Stiles hears the sound of violins far in the distance, so faint he wonders if he’s imagining them. Stiles spins in circles, eyes darting from one gleaming branch to another.

A warm, fragrant breeze scented with jasmine fills the air when they draw clear of the silver trees, and come to a dazzling forest of gold. Thousands of gold leaves catch the light of the moon, turning the world to bright golden day instead of silver night. The music is clearer now, closer, and Stiles catches the sounds of many different instruments playing a beguiling tune.

“I’ve never seen anything so beautiful,” Stiles says, fighting a euphoric smile.

Derek steps beside him. “Just wait.”

Finally, they cross into another forest, far more stunning than the others, where glittering diamonds cluster on every leaf. It’s as though all the stars in the heavens rained down to rest on the leaves.

Stiles can’t help himself; he laughs, overcome with delight. Every time a diamond catches the light the moon shatters hundreds of tiny rainbows over the entrancing world they’re traveling deeper and deeper into. Stiles stretches out his arms, watching them play on his skin.

He cups a few in his palm, holds them up for Derek to inspect, like they’re kids again, discovering magic together. “Look.”

Derek never takes his eyes off Stiles’ face. “Beautiful,” he says.

Stiles drops his hands to his sides, sobering. “Derek, I owe you an a—”

“I need to tell you something,” Derek says at the same time.

They blink at each other. “You first,” Stiles says.

Derek reaches up and plucks a sprig of diamond off a low-hanging branch. “What if… I think I…”. He sighs, tossing the priceless jewels away. “When we came here, the first night, I felt like you do right now; overcome. I try my best, all the time, everyday, not to think about you, but when I saw this I…”

His rainbow-dappled mask turns toward Stiles. “I wished you could see it. I wished you could be here with me. I swear, I never said it out loud but… here you are, all the same. What if my wish brought you here? Put you and Lydia in danger? If something happens, and we can’t leave, I’ll never forgive myself.”

“Derek.” Stiles steps closer. “You didn’t bring me here. I brought me here. And I should have been here”-he gestures between them-“all along.”

The music grows stronger, drowning out Stiles thundering heart, and all at once Derek and his pack turn toward the sound, the same unsettling hive mind behavior from earlier in the night.

One second, they’re alone, then Stiles blinks and a handsome man stands before him.

At first, all he can register is silky black hair, a strong jaw, gentle, piercing eyes a kaleidoscope of green-gold-blue, but the harder Stiles looks, the more his appearance changes. Every time he blinks, it’s like starting all over again. Stiles shakes his head, trying to clear it, as the man steps up to him and bows deeply, taking one of Stiles’ hands between his ice-cold fingers. “Ah, you’ve brought a guest tonight,” the King says, eyes playful but shrewd. He kisses the captured appendage with plush lips, and the feeling of a thousand tiny ants crawling beneath his skin ripples out from the spot.

“You must be Stiles.”

[namjoonchronicles]

happy new year beautiful, i'm here to spread some love!!! in celebration of 2019 tag your 19 favorite blogs/mutuals 🎉

you did not just tell me to tag people I love, i have like a lot. Happy new year my sweets, may you be blessed with good health, enormous wealth, graduate, get a job, give yourself a gift (me), sleep better, eat better (pls i cannot stress on this enough!), get you a spa day by yourself, and just treat yourself… start the year with a de-stress, we have 364 days to go… 

here’s my favourite people who run such magnificent blogs and people I have to talk to, on regular basis like taking my non-existent anti-depression pills:

@namjoonslion​ you knew you’re gonna get tagged, abby don’t even try to deny, and I probably never tell you how much you meant to me a lot, but I really do appreciate you, I love the spirits you have and our overall nothing-can-go-wrong VS but-it-might contra is something I hold dearly and I’m not sure why it worked out this long. We’re like Sadness & Joy pair in Disney Pixar’s Inside Out. And that’s just so cute now that I think of it. You walked into my life one day, and it’s like the sun came out. I feel like you’d give the best hug because you’re tol and I’m smol@magical-warlock​ my pisces, demi darling whom I love and rarely talk to nowadays, you always know how to cheer me up with some random ass text post of cute sayings and marvel things and I’m just wanting to catapult myself to Holland every time you send me a picture of your town. It’s honestly the best town that fits me. I would walk days with you and talk and hold hands, sigh. We shared a lot of stories together, and I feel like we’re both undergoing something very tough, I always know you have my back and you’ll have mine. Being associated to you is the best things that happened in my years in Tumblr and I truly mean it when I say I care about you.

@minseoltanggi​ baby fish! bat, you are by far the closest one to me of all my tumblr friends because we live in the same country and you’ve seen my face before. You are adorable af and I hope you don’t be scared of turning 15 soon, it’s an experience, you have to embrace it as you go and don’t worry too much. You are a smart little girl and have many potentials, so don’t let your fears shackle you down to earth because I want to see you be that Astronomy expert you wanted to become! And if you changed your mind mid-way that’s fine, too. I’m sorry that I can’t get on tumblr as often as I’d like and message you. I do hope your blankets are warm and your pillows are soft, every night. 

@luciddrugs​ same age dudette, Alexa! I know we’ve not been acquainted until the last few months of 2018 and dare I say, you’re by far the most passionate blossoming ARMY I have ever met. You desire to know and understand Hoseok is beyond me, like wow, you helped me see another side of Hoseok and that’s something not many people could have done, and I sort of understand when you spazzed about him not getting a lot of attention, because TRUE DAT. I mean look at my man Namjoon, these two gets push back along with Jin sometimes and it saddens me. having another hyungline stan is ultimately a blessing, like, thank you for SCREAMING HOW MUCH YOU LOVE HOBI BECAUSE GURL YASSSSSSS… /two idiots screaming in the middles of the sea–flashbacks lmao)

@fangirlaholicxx​ Divvie. My other gun. My right-hand women. If yall read my writings i can’t say crappy anymore because that would be an insult to Div’s work  its her you should thank, my writings starting from Catching Fire, was proof read by her. And if I don’t get Div squealing, don’t bet I’ll release any of the fics. She’s my fuel, my gasoline, she keeps me going, and is my personal cheerleader. She makes great moodboards and it’s a matter of time until she ripens to her full form and bless us with her endless creative tendencies, just watch. I love her…so much. I don’t think she knows that. Thanks for catching me when I fall. /seals love letter with a heart wax/

@submissive-bangtan​ caro, caro, CARO! I love your brain and the intricate words you use. You know a whole world I didn’t know about and it’s because of you I’ve learned new things. You’re always so generous with your knowledge and following you was the best thing I’ve ever done? Like I came as a sub bts enthusiast (a dying clan) and pledge loyalty, but you gave me a Pandora box of tricks and passion. I think you’re super cool and I’m always so shy to make first move, so when you answered my tags, it makes my heart bloom? Can someone have that much power? Germans, I tell you…sigh.

@yourladyhobi18​ Luisa 💞🌹 we never actually spoke but endlessly tagging each other on posts of our knights and saviours, sometimes without context and we do it like it’s the most natural thing in the world and honestly I desired this kind of connection for the longest time, and I never knew I needed it until you came. I guess this is how two shy people become friends lmao.

@majestikblue​ you are a very mysterious one. You come unexpected and return when you desired. You always sends the nicest text out of nowhere and I’m always smiling when I see your texts?? Like how do you always know me going through tough times, did you put a camera on me?? Should I be staring at the corners so you could see me kiss you or what? I don’t even catch your name, and I don’t think I’ve ever asked…what kind of friendship is this, Anissa? I just want to say I appreciate you and your existence, please don’t ever change.

@lovethyfandoms2​ how could I forget you and Digby when you’re the first person to actually come and talk to me. I know you’re super busy at college now, and I wish you all the best. I hold the memories and conversations we had, close to my heart and will never forget them. Happy New Year, Josie. And it all began with a random ass link you accidently sent me haha, I remembered that lmao, I was so confused. Do all friendship began this weird though, I wonder haha! Josie, survive made it out 2018! Woo woo!

Nothing less important, in fact! Very important people that I cannot possibly forget ever, is my lovelies, whom I dearly appreciate and desire to protect forever and always, may this year bring you more positive hopes and help you dream, gives you something to smile for, and I have nothing else to offer but my stories and the comfort they bring, but should you feel the need to talk to me, come any time…

@rapmooni @tinyjjks @kai-tashi @monosgf @babybee05 @leesuzy09 @seokjins-epiphany @hobi-isadaydream @zynnami @verracotta @joonraw @seoulso @bloodyspell​ @8xxakiraxx8​ @therealredraven​ @ursulabtslover​ @triviamang​ 

I plan to make a separate post for this, and have more affectionate things to say, but if you’re not mentioned here, please don’t feel upset… I know most of you hide behind the comfort of an anon, and that’s okay. But If you’re reading this and felt like you are invincible? You’re not, I see you, I recognise you. And I appreciate every each and every one of you. I keep you in my thoughts when I see you reblog my writings and say nice things in the tags, and when you like my drunk depressive posts. I know you guys are wonderful people with good hearts. You’re the REAL reason why I began, continue and desire to write, I hope I’ll be able to do more in the future. I have so many more people to thank, and I’d personally shake each of your hands and give you a hug if I could and know your face. 

Thank you for seeing me, thank you for noticing me, thank you for listening to my stories. Thank you for a wholesome end of 2018 and here’s to a beautiful start in 2019. 🥂 (i’m buying sodas and pizzas for us all) happy fucking new year babes

[the-excursion]

30 Days of Domestic Fluff

23. Double Date

Aika and Briar had landed in Yumemi not too long ago. After requesting a ride they were quickly on the road. Their driver knew the city well and drove swiftly “So you’ve never been to Yumemi before?” Aika asked. “No I've never left New Athens to be honest,” Briar said with a bit of a chuckle. “I'll make sure we see more places but my home town is a good place to start,” Aika said with a smile. In little time they made it to their hotel. In front of the hotel a bellhop brought their light luggage to their room. A hired valet came to Aika and handed her a set of car keys. “Your car is in the private parking lot,” the valet said before running off. “You have a car in Yumemi?” Briar asked. “Yeah I also got a house here,” she replied. “Then why are we staying in this fancy hotel?” Briar said out loud as they walked towards the elevator. “I own a decent share in this hotel chain and I wanted to treat my girl to something special that's enough reason,” Aika said as she winked. “Miss money bags,” Briar said sarcastically.

Once in the hotel room Briar gawked at the size and design of the room. “God I used to work as housekeeping and I've never been in a room like this,” she joked as she threw herself on the bed. Aika sat down in a chair to rest. Her leg injury burdened her. She looked around the room then looked back to Briar. “It's okay haha,” she said. Briar rolled her eyes and stood up. “So I'm gonna hop in the shower,” she said as she took off her jacket and started throwing her clothes to a corner of the room. “I'll call my friend about the date,” Aika said as Briar opened the bathroom door. Briar turned around with a nod and blew Aika a kiss.

Aika dialed her good friend Hitomu. “Hey Hitomu,” she said over the phone. “Oh hey Aika. Hitomu can’t come to the phone right now, you could say he’s a bit occupied at the moment.” To Aika’s surprise, Musouka answered the phone as she seemed to be holding back laughter. “Oh uhm hey Musouka,” she replied. “It’s a surprise you’re calling. Are you in town? Hey if you need a place to stay, we just so happen to now have a free guest bedroom,” Musouka said in a playful tone until they heard another voice. “Musouka? Who is that? What are you saying? Give it here!” Musouka laughed and said goodbye to Aika before she passed the phone along. “Hello?” Hitomu’s voice finally came by. “Oh hey Hitomu sounds like you two are having fun,” Aika said. “O-Oh Aika, umm whatever she just said disregard it. She woke up in a less than mellow mood today,” Hitomu said in a weary tone. “You guys are sharing a bed together now huh?” she sneered. “What? Um I don’t know what you’re talking about, Aika,” he responded nervously. “So is she in your room or are you in her’s,” she asked. “I.. its.. ah, I moved into her room… Moved all my stuff over. Now we have a free space but I wouldn’t doubt she already explained that,” he said half-embarrassedly. “But anyway, I don’t suppose you’re calling just to check on me now are you?” He added. “Well you guys are sharing a bed, would you mind sharing a date with me and someone else, like a double date? I landed here in Yumemi I'm on some business but I figured we could have some fun and catch up too,” Aika explained. “Oh, that actually sounds good. I can't lie and say we haven’t been wondering about you. Let us know the time and place and we’ll be there,” Hitomu said. “Perfect I already reserved a table for us at nine. I'll text the rest of the details, ja ne,” Aika said. “Heh, mata ne Aika,” Hitomu said before hanging up. Aika got up and started getting her clothes she was going to wear ready. She walked over to the bathroom door. “Hey I'm hopping in the shower with you,” Aika joked. “Hold your horses you gotta get me a ring first,” Briar replied. Aika chuckled then sat back down scrolling through her phone as she waited her turn.

Soon enough the two girls were both showered and dressed. Aika spinned around in her new purple dress. “Nice dress,” Briar said with a smile. “You picked it out,” Aika responded. Briar was wearing a wine red dress. “And I'm liking your dress. I think it's my first time seeing you in one,” Aika said to her. “Please I’m not really a dress kinda girl but you spent so much money on this thing I gotta wear it at least once,” Briar said as she lightly blushed. Aika smiled. “You may not be a dress kind of girl but you look sexy as hell right now,” Aika said as she grabbed the car keys and threw them to Briar. “Let's get going la flame,” Aika added as she stepped out the door holding her cane.

Meanwhile, as Hitomu had hung up the phone, Musouka had just gotten out of the bathroom. “So what happened?” She asked. “She invited us to a double date with her and someone else. Wants to catch up and stuff,” Hitomu explained. “Oh that’s great. Now I can wear the new dress you guys got me. Hope it isn’t too fancy,” Musouka wondered. “She just texted me the place, heh it would be the perfect place to wear it,” he assured. “Good then,” she responded with a smile as she gave him a short kiss. “And you know, she could’ve gone without that information about us..” he said in a more bothered tone. “Oh come on, She would’ve asked you about it anyway,” she teased before going off to get dressed. Hitomu chuckled then went to do the same. After a while, the two were dressed and ready to go. Musouka wearing her blue and yellow summer dress while Hitomu wore a casual suit with a yellow tie. “Aw Hitomu you dress up good. Goes with those light eyes of yours,” Musouka said as she adjusted it and kissed him. “And I knew this dress would suit you too. Just.. please don’t say light eyes..” he said with a playful roll of his eyes. “Oh yeah right.. some real jerks in our lives have called you that and ruined a nice potential pet name. Ah, it doesn’t matter Hitomu. We’re gonna have a good time alright?” She said. “After you,” he said slyly as he opened the door for her as they went to their car.

Aika and Briar were outside of the restaurant waiting for Hitomu and Musouka to arrive. “So how do you know this Hitomu guy?” Briar wondered. “I guess you can say I've had a tendency on hitting on his lady friends,” Aika said as she laughed. “And his girlfriend is she cute?” she joked. “Oh my god,” Aika stopped herself and looked at Briar. “Well not as cute as you but yeah,” Aika finished. Just then Hitomu and Musouka arrived. “Hey Aika,” Musouka called as the two walked up to them. “Hey, who’s your lovely date?” Hitomu asked as he went to shake Briar’s hand. “Oh hey I'm Briar you must be Hitomu I've heard a little bit about you from our mutual friend,” she answered. “Is that so? That’s surprising. This is Musouka,” he said. “Nice to meet you Briar,” she said. “Likewise,” Briar said as she lightly clasped Musouka’s hand and gave her a nod. “So let's go in?” Hitomu asked Aika. She nodded and the group followed her in. An attendant lead them to their table and sat them down. They each ordered their drinks and began looking at the menus. “Wow Aika this place is all out. And you said you already had this place reserved? What if I had said no to coming?” Hitomu teased. “Me and Briar would have went alone this is one of my favorite restaurants in Yumemi,” Aika said as she closed her memu knowing already what she was going to order. Briar continued looking at the menu.

“So much to choose from here. Hitomu, we should eat in more places like this,” Musouka said as she scanned her menu. “We can’t take advantage of the money we have so easily Musouka,” he said. “Not all the time but every so often at least,” she said as she nudged him. “How did you get introduced to this place, Aika?” She added. “My dad used to own it so I ate here a lot as a kid. When we originally left Yumemi behind he sold off a lot of his assets,” she said in a slightly somber tone. “Oh that’s ok though, you may not own it but you can still revel in it. Heck, if you wanted to you could even try buying it back,” Musouka said kindly. “Yeah that's if Alexandria would ever let me buy it back. The Bryce family picked up the place after my father left it,” Aika said as she picked up her drink and lightly shook it watching the liquid ripple. “Oh are you kidding? Her? She just won’t get off you will she..” Hitomu said while rolling his eyes. “She’s the one you two tried to get info off of and it didn’t work out so well right? Ugh she needs to leave you alone,” Musouka said as she shook her head. “Worst part is I'm sure she doesn't know my connection to this place. It's just some other property under her family’s estate for her,” Aika said with a roll of her eyes. “Hm I wouldn’t be surprised if she did know and owns it out of spite,” Hitomu said bitterly. Briar looked at the group with wide eyes. She did not hear much about this side of Aika's life. “So what's up with this Alexandria girl?” Briar asked them.

“Well apparently she’s not as nice as the rest of Yumemi makes her out to be. Which is so weird, you would think she’s great. She donates to the city and seems all around nice,” Musouka said. “Goes to show to not judge a book by its cover,” Hitomu said in a disdained voice, thinking back to the first time he met her with Aika. Musouka kindly rubbed his arm to ease his mood. “I knew Alexandria for a long time. Her, Nina, and I were the three ‘princesses’ we spent a lot of weekends together when our parents would meet and talk business. Knowing her for so long I feel I could say a small part of her genuinely cares for this city,” Aika said in defense of her rival. “Doesn’t excuse her from being a bitch..” Hitomu said lowly. “Hey,” Musouka began as she eyed him. “I’m sorry. But it’s true!” He responded. Aika nodded. “Yeah, maybe I'm just trying to excuse her because I haven't been the best person to the people around me either,” she said as she looked down. “What do you mean? You showed Hitomu a good time, you’re not rude to me, and you’re taking Briar on this date. I’d say you’re a good friend,” Musouka said. “I guess I can't be all bad either,” Aika said with a smile. Briar then turned to Hitomu and Musouka. “So how long have you guys been together?” she asked them. The two bashfully glanced at each other. “I think maybe a year now, isn’t it..?” Musouka said as she tried to think back. “But we’ve known each other for longer than that so it feels like more,” Hitomu playfully added. “Hey stop it,” she said more embarrassedly. “How long have you been with Aika? I didn’t hear about you the last time her and I met up,” Hitomu asked. “We’ve been casually seeing other for little under a year. We've been thinking about moving in together though,” Briar answered. “Thinking,” Aika added with a smile on her face. “Oh that sounds nice,” Musouka chimed.

Just then, the waiter came and took each of their orders. While they waited they talked more and got to know each other better until their food came and they dug in. They commented on their choices as Musouka asked about recommended foods from the restaurant. They chatted and laughed all through the rest of their date together.

[jihanlife]

Hey guys! This is Amiya and I’m leaving...

Hey guys! This is Amiya. I know this is very sudden, but Ive been thinking about this for a very long time now. I promise myself to post this once i reached 10k and it’s time...... I am officially closing “Jihanlife”. This includes mmeanielife, verkwanlife, and jicheollife...... 

I dont even know how to write this without getting emotional ahahahah. 

Being a part of this community is an eye opening experience. Unexceptionally. It gave me more than what ive asked for. All i wanted is a place to store jisoo and jeonghan photos. but then i met you guys and made alot amazing friends, supports, and love. OVERWHELMING LOVE. I was able to show my arts and edits and gain alot of skills through the process. Overtime the purpose of “jihanlife” had changed. It is now to spread the love and share out seventeen information to you guys. To make people learn more about seventeen and gather together as a fandom and i think my job is done here. I’ve complete my goals. Over this past 2 years, Im so glad to be able to make you guys happy. The best part of tumblr is that i can really connect with you guys like no other platform could. I love answer your question funny or serious. i love making shit post. i lovelovelove many thing about this place. it makes me feel warm and welcoming everyday. A year ago, i cant imagine leaving this place. “Jihanlife” mean so much to me............

Now to the hard part..... as to ���why im leaving...” 

The closing of jihanlife (tumblr) does not mean the ending of my love toward seventeen. Don’t worry. I’m not leaving seventeen or this fandom any time soon. I’ve been in this fandom since before they debut. I’m WAY to invested in seventeen. It’s too late to turn back now ahahah. Perhaps I even love them more that ever and will always do. But there are some reasons why i decided to leave.... and im gonna keep it very real.

1. I cant keep up with my blog. I cant work like i did before. My normal routine is to upload EVERY SINGLE PHOTOS of jisoo and jeonghan onto this blog EVERYDAY. and I run this blog alone. Once i missed a day. Its hard for me to go back and reupload it. Sometime it can take up to 6-8 hours per day. And thats just too much. I know i dont have to upload every single photos out there but its just my thing you know. and it starts to become a burden to me. Almost like task i need to complete. It starts to feel like work instead of hobby. I somehow pressure myself into it and i started to “hate” this blog. Someday it left my heart heavy and i want to get it off....... 

2. Unpleasant personal experiences with fansites. Ive been in the fandom for sometime now. For 3-4 years. I know things and experience things that are fairly unpleasant. Something most people dont know about and i wish you will never know.. ever. Since then, i dont feel the same. It’s hard to explain you directly but it is what it is. I really do wish i havent experienced those negative stuff but it hit me hard and yep life is life. Shit happened once in a while and its okay. i get it. i get over it. moved on. But little bit little, I lose that motivation, I gave them those “maybes”. The will to run this blog as energetic as before, its slowly disappearing. i highly respect fansites. I was one before (and pls dont dig up my history lol its ancient). It takes alot of time, money, effort, and passion. Since this blog is highly involved with fansites. I gave them credibility of their works, respect their works and understand their tricky circumstances that most people wont understand, but unfortunately Ive never recieve any form for mutual respect and instead an “unpleasant” experiences. Dont get me wrong, there are alot of good fansites out there. Ones that respect you as a human being. But Im just never lucky to met/known ones. It sucks. (At the end, you do you. Me do Me. Im good. No hard feelings <3 )

3. It’s time. You know when you do so many cooking to the point that you can just tell by instinct that your chicken is cooked. No? me neither. I dont cook lol. All jokes a side, i really mean it. I just feel it is the best time to leave it like this and move on.

4. I’m Confused. There are alot happening in my life right now and im confused. So I need to make the decision and cut something out. A huge sacrifice. Jihanlife is my life and i love it so much. Ive worked on it so so hard 24/7 for the past 2 years but we need to make that decision to move on. Maybe I just need a break. Sorry for not being able to do this anymore.... Im so sorry.....

5. I ate too many gummies bear. I ate too many gummies bear. I ran out. I need to buy a new jar. so i cant blog. (lol)

Im not gonna deactivate this blog (yet). Im gonna leave it like that because damn i worked on it everyday for the past 2 years for nothing ahahahh . If you guys want to check out old photos of Jihan. You can still swim in the archive! 

After I posted this in my blog, ill be here for the next 48 hrs before permanently leaving. So i can answer and talk to you guys <3 

Even though im leaving tumblr but you still can find me screaming about seventeen, retweeting Jihan photos, doing this same shit on

Twitter: https://twitter.com/jihanlife

Follow my personal life! You can stalk me on youtube and IG. I just started a youtube channel! Yes im moving from tumblr to youtube now ahhahha. I have alot planned ahead and it would be nice to have my friend here go along on a journey with me! <33 im not quite sure with the content yet but im trying! So Join the Journey to the wildness of random shit LOL! So stay tune!!! 

Youtube: Amy Choo

IG: gam.choo

It has been an amazing and precious experience. Truly. I hope you guys will keep continue loving seventeen and support them and yeah i hope you guys will do amazing.... as always. I will always be there for you even if im not in here anymore. Thank you for being so kind and caring to me. Thankyou for cheering me up when im down. Thankyou for adoring my work. Thankyou for being positive. Thank you for making this place a special place <3

This has been Amiya. Thank you for having me. Be kind, stay humble, believe unicorn and eat alot of cotton candy. I love you all.

Continue to spread the love.

Jihanlife (amiya)

[friendlyneighborhoodwhateve-blog]

Comma after dearest // A Lin-Manuel Miranda Imagine

Here am I, yet again, a brazilian teenager writing about a man almost twice my age. Anyway, I always dedicate my stuff to my friends but this time I’d like to dedicate this to the writers that inspire me to keep on writing, so thank you: @alexanderhamllton , for being a great writer and one of the brazilian people out there that I (sort of?) look up to. @fragmentofmymind , you are so incredible, I still cant believe you follow me and @lookaroundlookaroundhowlucky , my friend you are incredible beyond words.

My other stuff is here!

Requests are always  open!

Word Count: 4030, like wth????? This is the biggest thing I have ever written???? I am not even sorry though.

Warnings: None???? Maybe a curse word or two?? Some (a lot) inacurracies on his persnal life??? And a cheesy-ass plot?? But I like it very much. Also, please take note that this happens before Lin’s Ham days, other than that, have fun. 

-

The italicized parts are flashbacks.

         Shit.

         Shit. Shit. Shit.

         Lin stared at his phone in exasperation, thinking just what he was going to do about the promise he made to his mother. The text stared up at him accusingly from his cellphone screen. I can’t wait to meet your girlfriend.

         You and Lin had met a few years ago through college, you were a STEM major with an affinity for the arts, it had been like that since high school. The day you met was still fresh in your mind.

           It was a rainy early summer day in the campus, your mind still reeling from the knowledge that you were finally a senior. This time next year you would be wearing a dress and holding your diploma, hopefully with an internship underway. As your feet carried you, your ears prickled with the sound of music coming from a semi open door. With a will of its own, your body entered the auditory.

         In the stage, a scrawny looking guy singed as if his life depended on it. Every note, every riff, every time he opened his mouth made you feel something that had been gone for a long time. There were other people equally as talented on the stage with him, they must be the theater group your brain thought. Suddenly they sang one last note and the stage lights were killed, in an instant reflex your hands clapped, the small bit of their presentation had touched you immensely.

          “Who is there?” A voice called from the now lit stage.

          “Ah, it’s just me.” You stepped in to the part of the theater that was now full of light, your cheeks already burning from the embarrassment. “I didn’t mean to intrude, sorry, it’s just you guys are really talented.”

       Lin was taken aback by your statement; appreciating art was nothing to be sorry for. He was also mesmerized by you, the way your hair was in an extremely messy ponytail, your shirt that had once been carefully tucked into the skirt you wore now slightly askew, the way your bag seemed to be almost bursting at the seams due to the plethora of papers you carried, these little details made his heart feel something new.

          “There is nothing to be sorry for. Art is made to be seen and appreciated”

         Something held your feet in place, maybe it was the fact that the guy was now approaching you; his eyes had a shine to them that made you want to be by his side for eternity.

          “Hi, I’m Lin-Manuel Miranda but Lin is just fine, I don’t think I have ever seen you around?” The sentence ended with a questioning tone, prompting you to answer.

          “I am (Y/N), (Y/N) (Y/L/N) from Biochemistry, I don’t come to this part of campus often.”

          “You should, want to get some coffee?”

          “Why not?”

         He remembered how the mutual love for coffee had brought you both together, and he remembered clear as day the promise you made days later, days that had been spent practically glued to each other’s side because neither of you had ever felt such a strong connection to anyone, when you split for the summer.

         Do not hesitate to call me at any time, Miranda. I mean it, it doesn’t matter what happens. His fingers dialed the number he knew by heart before his brain even processed what was happening.

          “Sir Miranda, to what do I owe the pleasure of hearing your voice on this fine evening?” You had been working on the lab for a few hours now, even though you were in charge it was your duty to set a good example, when Lin called.

          “Lady (Y/L/N), I think you might need to sit down for this one”

          “Okay, give me a minute.”  While he nervously ran a hand through his ever growing hair, you wrapped up the cultures you had been working on and went to your office, once you had sat down comfortably, the conversation continued.  “Go on, now.”

          “Imighthavesaidtomymomwearedating.” His words rushed out one after the other, turning into an unintelligible heap.

          “Honey,” the nickname began to be used after you watched Mamma Mia together. “breathe.” You waited until you heard the sound of his exhale before continuing. “Now please try to speak the word separately.”

          “I might have told my mom we are dating.” His voice became smaller as he spoke.

          “Elaborate.” The word sent him into one of his famous rants.

          “So I was texting my mom about thanksgiving and I said you might be tagging along. Wait let me read the texts to you, first I asked “Is it okay if I bring someone” and she responded with “Of course”, now this is where I got very distracted by a dog passing by and forgot to read the next text because I only replied with “(Y/N) and I are looking forward to it.” But I should have read what she said because she asked “Is it finally a girlfriend? Or a boyfriend?” and now my entire family probably thinks we are together?”

         His rant was endearing and you didn’t even manage to be mad at him.

          “Well, I love your mom and her food; I am not skipping out on Dona Luz’s famous thanksgiving dinner so… “

          “So I am stuck with you as my girlfriend for a week? Neat.”

         After a bit more of small talk you hanged up. Immediately after you dialed Pippa, Jas, Ari and Renée calling a girl’s night on the following Friday.

          “Why the hell did you suggest it?” Ari seemed to not grasp why you had suggested fake dating Lin for a week.

          “Because that is as close to realty dating him as I probably am going to get.” Pippa nearly spat out her drink, if only you paid attention, you would see how the idea of being in a relationship wasn’t as farfetched to Lin as you seemed to believe.

         Despite being in completely different fields of work, you had been going to Hamilton rehearsals as soon as they began. You were always the first Lin showed his drafts to, so you mingled with his other friends and co-workers a lot, resulting in the beautiful friendship you shared with these women.

         You were close; they knew things even Lin didn’t know. They were the sisters you wish you had growing up instead of the girl who didn’t even acknowledge your existence. Your family relationships weren’t that great, so the Miranda household had taken to “adopt” you during holidays and such.

          “I know you really like him, so we are letting you go with two conditions: the first is you let us pack your bags, God knows you would probably spend the week in pajamas otherwise.” You let out a surprised “what’s wrong with pajamas?” “And the second condition is that you must tell him how you feel.”

          “Why must you do this to me? What if he doesn’t like me the same way? Everything would be so awkward and I…” I can’t lose him.

          “You have known each other for more than five years, I am sure he loves you already.”

         They knew how much Lin meant to you, he was your family, his family was your family, if things didn’t work out you’d be devastated. The girls spent the entire time until the trip soothing your nerves, you had some close calls with anxiety but finally the day of the trip had come. The dress Renée had picked out for you to wear hugged your body nicely, the soft floral print bringing out your skin tone in a nice way.

 From Sir Miranda

To Lady (Y/L/N)

I am here, m’lady.

 To Sir Miranda

From  Lady (Y/L/N)

Come up, your lady awaits.

            “I’m just putting my shoes on then using the bathroom real quick, can you take my bags to the car?”  You yelled into the living room, the sounds of Lin taking your bags distracting you’re a second.

         Breathe. He is your best friend. You have met his family countless times. You went to dinner with his mom and sister without him for Christ’s sake. You will be fine just take it as it goes. Things will work out, have faith. The mental pep talk ends just as you enter the living room.

          “All of your bags are already in the trunk, Kit’s carrier is safely in the backseat and…” His sentence faded out as he took what you were dressing in.

         In all of the years you had known each other, the number of times you wore dresses could be counted in his fingers. One for your grandparents funeral during college, one for graduation, one for the internship interview you had wanted really bad, one for the day you went to pick up the Kit The Cat from adoption, one for his parents wedding anniversary bash a couple of years ago, one for the inauguration of your lab, another one when he asked you to be his Tony date and right now.

         The dress was perfectly appropriated for the weather but the girls had chosen a jacket to go with if necessary.

          “Lady (Y/N), I must say you look incredible this fine morning.” When he didn’t know quite what to say, the man resorted to the joke you had going on for years, ever since you watched a terrible production of Romeo and Juliet at a local high school.

          “Thank you, kind sir.” You spoke confidently despite not feeling the same way. Fake it until you make it.

          “You know I mean it, right?”

          “Of course, Lin.” All jokes aside, you could always count on him to be one hundred per cent truthful. He was the one person you trusted blindly, if it came to it, you’d even trust him with your life.

          “Shall we go then?”

          “Lead the way.”

           His car was the same since college. You begged him to buy a new one every time this old thing ended up needing repairs but he insisted that the car had too many memories in it to be replaced. Somewhere along the road, memories began being  shared to the soft voice of Louis Armstrong playing in the background.

          “Hey, do you remember that time we got drunk during college?”

          “I’m afraid you’ll have to be more specific, darling.” You quipped back to the man behind the wheel.

          “That one time you ended up jumping into the lake during winter, dragged me with you and we both ended up sick for like two weeks.”

          “Ah, yes. That time.” You stroked the fur of your cat softly as the memory played like a movie in your head.

           You had just turned twenty, the second semester of your final year at college had begun four days ago and you and Lin found yourselves incredibly drunk already. It wasn’t the intention, it just happened as you both walked to the most significant spot to your friendship, the park that was a little ways from campus.

         “And then my mom began ranting about how they are ruining our country and I was like “Mom, you ruined our economy.” I can’t believe she acts as if I am the dumbest person in the world, I got a full scholarship in Biochemistry AND Genetics for fuck’s sake.” Today you were an angry drunk.

         “Hey, you are wonderful, intelligent and a lot of other adjectives I can’t remember right now. Maybe you just need to chill a bit.”

         “Yeah, I am going to chill.” Your hazy mind locked on to the almost frozen lake that was void of ducks this time of the year.

         “Good.”

         He had barely any time to register what was happening before you began racing the rest of the way to the water, your linked hands dragging him along. The water was so cold, it felt like little knives against your skin, your breath caught in your throat until air was around you again. Later, after a bit of splashing around, when you were walking back, Lin refused to talk to you. He got really cranky when he was cold.

           “You were so angry.” You were laughing at the memory, the look in your roommates face still made you lose it even after all these years.

         “I still am, we were sick for so long.”  The way his hair face was being illuminated by the sun, the laughter lines around his eyes, his tousled hair weren’t helping you with your feelings. He then looked back to you with joy in his eyes and you nearly lost.

         Then you look back at me and suddenly I’m helpless.

         You knew just how Eliza felt in that moment.

         “Oh, look! My mom is already waiting for us.”

         The older woman hugged you tightly, whispering I’m so happy for you in your ear before talking to her son, Luís soon came out of the house to help Lin with the bags. Luz snatched you upstairs before anyone could even say your name.

         “So, you and my brother? It is real?” You couldn’t bring yourself to lie to her.

         “For this week, yes.”

         “I am not even going to say anything. Just be careful, we all love you not just Lin.” Your heart swelled with the love from the Miranda family, they were everything you had wished for growing up.

         You were in the kitchen, chopping some vegetables for dinner, when a pair of arms wrapped around your waist. Suddenly cutting the carrots into even pieces became a lot harder.

         “Hey there, girlfriend.”

         “Hey.”

         Truth be told, he was even more nervous then you. He couldn’t believe his voice wasn’t wavering as hard as his heart right now. Lin watched the way your hair (that was in a half-up style) fell over your shoulder, leaving your neck slightly exposed. How he wished to just plant a kiss in that spot right now. He wished to find out the way you liked to be kissed, he wanted to find out which spots would elicit a moan out of you, he wanted to wake up by your side every morning. His fantasy was broken when you turned into his arms, face so close to his that your lips were a breath away.

         “So I told your sister about us.”

         “You did?” It would be so easy to kiss you right now. A bit of inclination and your lips would be joined.

         “And if your mother mentions the way you finally asked me out, just go along with it. I might have made up a story about it.”

         “Was it on Central Park?” His low voice sent shivers down your spine.

         “Yes, on that bench we sit for coffee.” He hummed in agreement.

         “Did you kiss me out of happiness?”

         “I could.” Your eyes went quickly to his lips, his did the same thing.

         This was happening, you were finally going to kiss the man you loved, your lips had barely brushed when Luz barged into the kitchen.

         “Oh, I’m sorry but mom requests (Y/N)’s presence in the living room.” You sent a quick glance at Lin’s direction, praying to God he didn’t notice the very strong blush in your cheeks.

         “What was that?” Lin felt like a kid getting scolded under his sister’s stare. “If you hurt her I swear that I will end you, hermano.” He had no doubt of the sincerity in his sister’s words. “Make a move or I will make one for you.”

         He watched as you moved among his family members, fitting seamlessly into the crazy bunch that they were. He fantasized leaning against the wall, a glass of wine in his hand: you would wake up by his side, the both of you lazing about in bed (stealing a kiss or two) until you knew for sure you’d be late, arriving at the house you would be to entranced into each other to be of any help

         As you went around the table, setting the knives and forks down in their places, your eyes sneaked a glance at Lin. He was wearing that beige sweater that made your knees weak (especially when he folded the sleeves up), his face lit up in a smile as he conversed with his father. Your mind went somewhere else entirely as your body continued with the actions: you’d open your eyes sleepily in the morning to see his sleeping form by your side, the both of you staying in bed until your stomachs cried for food then you’d get breakfast in a coffee on the road.

         Both of you were brought back to the present when his mom called him to help with something in the kitchen, when your eyes met; it wasn’t that hard to believe a relationship might happen. You decided to freshen up a bit before dinner, maybe a shower would help calm down the mess you were feeling inside.

           Luz was in the kitchen when something her mom said caught her attention.

         “Yes, Camila is coming as well. She was in town and I thought why not?” The siblings met eyes, if the girl was here then the dinner would be anything but pleasant. Somehow, along the time you had known Lin, one of their cousins caught an instant dislike towards you that no one could explain. With a subtle nod from her brother, the woman discreetly went upstairs to warn you.

         No one could do a thing about the unexplained hatred the girl felt because in public she was a completely sweet girl, making veiled threats and taking jabs at you.

         “I am not coming down, Luz. I love your mom but I am not dealing with her on top of everything else.” Your anxiety went through the roof, breath coming out in short puffs. As your hands started to tingle, you counted on your friend to pull you out of the attack before it became too much.

         “Hey, hey.” At once, it wasn’t her in front of you anymore; it was Lin’s gentle face. He had a small smile on his lips as he tried to calm you down. “Tell me five things you can see.”

         “I can see Luz, I can see my suitcase, I can see Kit, I can see my blue flats and I can see the bathroom mirror.” He had some experience with helping you with anxiety crises, they usually happened after a phone call with either your mom or your sister.

         “Now, four things you can touch.” The technique to calm down, despite being slightly overused, worked wonders every time.

         “I can touch the bed’s covers, Kit’s fur, my cardigan and your hands.” His hands were in your lap, holding yours reassuringly.

         “Three things you can hear.”

         “Your voice.” I love it so much. “The tap leaking in the bathroom and your mom yelling downstairs.” You both laughed a little at the loud rambling in Spanish, the sauce had probably been left unattended to and burned.

         “Almost there, two things you can smell.”

         “The scent of my shampoo.” You used the same shampoo since college, the slightly lavender scent never failed to entice Lin. “and you cologne.” His cologne had the same effect on you that your shampoo had on him, both of you usually ended up with jelly legs after a hug.

         “One thing you can taste.”

         “Toothpaste.”

         “Now, take a deep breath. She is not going to get anywhere near you tonight, I promise.”

         Somehow, you both ended up sitting on the floor, leaning against the bed, with Kit in his lap. Luz had disappeared downstairs to distract everyone but right now she had just entered the room again.

         “Dinner’s ready and unfortunately Camila is here as well.”

         At the table, you sat between the Miranda siblings, Lin’s hand holding yours under the table. You thought you’d be nervous but his hand brought a sense of calmness over your soul, as cliché as it was, your hands really did fit into each other like puzzle pieces.

         “How is your mom doing?” Camila asked over her wine glass, fully knowing how the topic made you very uncomfortable.

         “Probably fine, probably dead, either way, I don’t care.” Luz choked on her drink while Lin squeezed your hand. Everyone knew better than to talk about your family.

         A while passed before she tried to get a rise out of you again, during that time you talked quietly to Lin about literally anything, that is, you talked when your mouth wasn’t filled with the delicious food Dona Luz had made, how could you had  thought of staying up in your room?

         “And your sister got married last month, no?” She just wouldn’t quit. Your sister’s wedding was even more sensitive than your mom, the wound still raw. When you were both young, you’d stay up late countless night planning your weddings, which dresses, what food but most of all, how’d you walk each other down the aisle since your father was out of the picture. That was something you didn’t have to take.

         “Excuse me.” You folded the napkin from your lad and placed it on the table while standing up. “The food was very lovely but I have to go somewhere now.” Lies. You had nowhere to go but anywhere was better than being forced to remember so many broken promises. Lin grew angry at his cousin as he watched you leave; Luz was already lecturing the girl while he went after you.

         In your haste, getting a coat was the last thing in your mind but it definitely should have been the first. Your bitterness at the situation increased as rain began falling lightly from the sky.

         “(Y/N), wait.” Lin was chasing after you, catching up easily due to his much longer legs.

         “Why? So I have to go back there? With them? I no it’s not only her, Lin. Except for you and maybe Luz, no one wants me there.” It was your sadness talking but deep down you had always felt that way. Unloved. Unwanted.

         “That is not true and you know it. My mom loves you as much as, if not more, than me.”

         “She pity’s me and so do you, the poor girl whose father died. Poor little thing, the mom blames her and pushes her away; the sister doesn’t even acknowledge her existence. I already have these feeling with my family, I don’t need more of it.”

         You were beginning to freeze, your thin sleeved dress and ballerina flats didn’t do much to fend off the weather. Lin, on the other hand, thought you had never looked more beautiful, the moon shining on your wet hair, the rain cling to your eyelashes. He stood a foot or so away from you, not believing you still felt this way, he knew words would do nothing to reassure you so he gently placed his hands on either side of you face, staring deeply in your eyes.

         “I don’t pity you, I love you.” He heard your sharp intake of breath, nevertheless he continued to talk, those were things he’d wanted to say for a while now. “I have loved you ever since the day you stepped in that theater, wearing those pajama pants. I know they were pajamas, shut up; I’m trying to be romantic here. The point is that I love and if I have to spend the rest of my life trying to convince you of it, I will.”

         You had no idea of what to do; you had just heard the man you loved telling the tree words you had wanted to hear for so long. Thankfully your body acted on instinc, standing up on the tips of your toes to press your lips lightly against his.

         “So, that means you love me too?” His goofy grin was even more endearing now that it was yours.

         “Yes, you dummy. I love you too.”

         This time it was him who pulled you into the kiss, a kiss much more passionate that the last one, one that reassured you, one that made you feel loved.

         “Please feel free to kiss me like that whenever you want.”

[olivieraa]

anyway, Ive been dying to make this post as I was waiting on the very last of the libfems to be gone from my dash

...but then I was too busy to make it right away so its a few days late

this post is about how all the libfems (idek how many of them at this point) who I have been following for years have all gradually unfollowed me. I would have unfollowed them all immediately myself (cause libfems are disgusting) but I wanted to see what their last straw would be with ME. a lot of the time its usually after I reblog a “lesbians dont have to suck dick” post cause if you dont agree with that then you’re EEVIL!!!. again, libfems are disgusting

I’m glad to be rid of every single one of them despite at one point calling some of them “friends”

also bc I never knew if they would definitely unfollow, I always had to have a date in mind in which I’d most definitely unfollow THEM, but I was hoping by 2018 they wouldn’t be on here and, I got my wish lol

I was not starting off what is supposed to be an awesome year, with more of the crap I’ve been dealing with the past 3 or 4 with these shitty people

they all did unfollow tho so I just had to make it mutual~ I never held back on posts I knew would piss a libfem off ;P

ayyy onto the main point of the post

how to lead into each section of this post I do not know, but maybe I’ll start with background

I’m an honest person, sometimes I can be quite blunt. if my bluntness comes off as rudeness let me know, but me as a person prefers bluntness to fake ass niceness

despite not liking 2 of the people who unfollowed me anymore, I DID consider them friends. I wont go ahead and pretend we were “just mutuals”. I dont buy presents for just mutuals lol. they were nowhere near Diana level in which from years from now I’ll be still thinking and angsting over them. this is more like when I moved to different house and lost the friends from those neighbourhoods/schools. I get over it fast. Diana was a best friend which is not a word I’d use to describe many. so that’s why losing her really hurt and still hurts. losing the people I talk about in this post does not hurt. I’m already over them but this post is necessary.

the rest who unfollowed me were acquaintances, mostly. ONE of them I shared a snapchat with but otherwise? it was just talking on here rarely tbh. I legit dont remember most of who they were but they did all know each other, and they were connected to these ex-friends of mine so there’s no doubt they’d eventually unfollow.

let me just sidetrack a bit here to talk about someone else (not the ‘ex friends’ this post is about). I’ll call her M. I actually gotta wonder if she, who unfollowed me about a month ago, actually thought we were friends. we definitely weren’t. she was a mutual follow (aka an acquaintance) and also someone who happened to be there when I was talking to the actual friends.

but she had some... terrible opinions. she was gross. and had bad taste. and she, like her friend, had a bad habit of copying everything I say, literally right after I said it. and they were both so oblivious to it???

one thing that bothered me about her and one of the friends who this post is about, was that she’d constantly reblog posts defending content creators and fans for being into “dark stuff”. its one thing to be reblogging them now and then, but when posts like that take up so much of your blog, it gets fucking creepy.

its like, yo. we get it. fictional does not equal reality.

but why reblog so many posts on it. to reblog THAT many post just sounded like a person you should be weary off. who were trying to make it out that fiction does not equal reality but secretly believed the opposite. who is THAT PASSIONATE about defending your love of dark shit, like???

M reblogged this post then while I was online and saw and it honestly just goes against everything

to call it a kink for one thing, like. no. the whole point in defending fiction not equaling reality is to be AWARE that its bad. like when you love a character FOR the horrible things they do but if they were real you’d rather they be jailed or dead.

that’s how it fucking works.

if you’re wiring/drawing this kinda shit to SATISFY yourself, you have to be fully fucking aware that its not right. because you like it in FICTION. ...RIGHT? 

dont OWN it. you’re gross.

but I guess anyone who uses tumblr-introvert-I-have-no-friends-in-real-life terms like “trash queen” would say shit like this.

anyway that was one of the things disturbing about these two.

I’m fully aware of characters I like in fiction that are horrible. I’m fully aware of tropes I like that are horrible. and I’m fully aware of the “kinks” I have ( tho I hate using that word to explain it) that are horrible. Ive most definitely questioned WHY I’m into them and the reasons aren’t good. Ive liked rape plots. that’s... that’s not good. I still like them when done right. STILL NOT GOOD. AT ALL.

I’m aware WHY I do tho, AND THAT’S ALSO NOT GOOD.

dont OWN it. question why you like these things.

as I said, sidetracked, so moving on from M completely--

while being friends with these two specific people, they did/said things I didn’t approve of. but... you’re not supposed to agree 100% with your friends. they have their opinions, you have yours.

but they didn’t think that way. I believe I was the only one afraid to voice my opinions on things but they went all out.

for example (and I’ma call them A and B, A being who I met first)

A, who has claimed to be a lesbian since forever, made a post actually saying most lesbians on this site are mean.

and when you realise why she thought they were mean, its cause they were radfems. or terfs as you’d call them. they were not interested in dating people with dicks, or women who claimed to not be 99% women, and they made it clear and she couldn’t handle that.

and guess what? 99% of lesbians have that opinion. that dicks are male and lesbians like female genitalia.

and then this whole year it became clear that libfems who claim they’re lesbian are actually bisexual. and that was her in a nutshell. her hatred for actual women was clear.

this

and this

are just few examples of her opinions

NO lesbian would make a post on this site saying “most lesbians are mean” if they were actually a lesbian. it was a typical female with internalised misogyny defending males.

B annoyed me even more. and I was actually closer to her up until a year ago.

to make/reblog... so so so SO many posts about hating white people, and I as a white person I was like “yeah, agreed”, but to also make/reblog so many posts about girl hate (as in, she hated girls) and boy positivity it was like

you would go absolutely MENTAL if I ever DARED to reblog a white positivity/black negativity post

JUST like A who unfollowed me cause she couldn’t handle seeing trans people being called out since she didn’t wanna acknowledge the awful side to them, I believe B’s last straw with me was either when I said tanned women dont have it hard when it comes to makeup (ya fucking dont, its fact), or when I tagged a post saying that tumblr thinks everything is white feminism

but

I would just constantly think

what is going through their heads

if we look at it this way

straight/white/males - majority/not oppressed, esp if you’re all three

gay/poc/females - minority, oppressed, esp if you’re all three

and even tho I dont wanna add this in cause its not true at all but you’re made to believe it on this site till you dig deep (tho not that deep, just follow a radfem and you’ll start seeing facts not make believe)

cis - not oppressed

trans - oppressed

A was obsessed mainly with defending the trans

B was obsessed with mainly defending the poc

and its understandable, I was mainly obsessed with defending the females. like... how many violence against women posts have I made lol?? I’m passionate about it

but just because posts defending women were the majority of my posts, doesn’t mean I didn’t have a shit ton defending the rest. I have so many anti-white, anti-racist shit on my blog. I had trans positivity posts but went back and re-read them and deleted them.

but I could never imagine, cause it never happened, that either of these would have any form of anti-trans or anti-poc posts on their blog

yet... despite being in the oppressed category... they both had so many anti-female posts

NOTHING to do with the whole white feminism thing which I know is a thing and I have gotten into arguments with white women over it who dont believe woc have it worse (despite it being so different from America in other places but Americans are too self centred to see that)

no but I guess this goes back to earlier tumblr, before “die cis scum” and hating cis people, including cis women (despite being an oppressed group) became a thing.

female positivity posts were everywhere, to the point where we were calling women angels. so many “shout out to women!” posts. and all those pro-gay “reblog this if you support marriage equality!!” with a buttload of rainbow spewing gifs underneath it posts.

the site mainly felt like a place in support of those who have only ever been shit on their whole lives, but a lot were about women there was pretty much so little of us out there that wasn’t raised to hate ourselves for being female.

I remember scoffing and rolling my eyes at my friends for liking chick flicks and bragging to my dad about how I like action films and my friends have bad taste. to which he agreed. I was obviously looking for male approval. and then there’d be a random post on here going, “hey, think about it. the reason you’re supposed to hate chick flicks is cause men do and you dont need male approval, ever thought about that?” and I was like “holy shit I dont need male approval, life changed forever.”

I mean that’s just one tiny, mild example but there were THOUSANDS. thousands of posts that made you realise what you hated so much about yourself growing up as a woman bc men made you believe women were inferior in every way and we were only good for looking at in porn. THAT’S the only place where women were necessary and important!!!

but yeah there were also “shout out to black girls!” posts, specifically, and so many of them, a lot of the time calling them “Perfect queens”

so yeah, it was just a positivity platform for miniroties and obviously redditors hated it cause they mostly consist of non-oppressed groups and they couldn’t handle us loving ourselves.

and they’d make blogs on here and if there was a negative post about males or whites, that said something like “white men are inherently violent, dont trust them” they’d literally just change men to women or white to black in their reblog and go “see how stupid this sounds when you categorise a whole group together?”

that is a white, straight mans favourite saying. “dont bunch us all in together” and it was always the funniest thing cause the guy making said post was the exact kind of guy you needed to be weary of but was so unaware of their privilege.

so people would mock men reblogging these posts and it was great.

when the “die cis scum” bandwagon came around, tumblr changed. this was around late 2013, early 2014. this site was riddled with negativity.

female positivity posts became rare, and the two friends I had both reblogged this post and many posts like it, all the way up to this year. it hasn’t stopped.

why... why were there only posts like this about women... and never black people, gays, trans people... where were they...?????

and if they exsited, and either of my friends saw those posts, they’d reblog it going “uh excuse fucking you” and then continue with a rant. if I reblogged it they’d message me to say “um wtf”. or would have unfollowed way before now. one or the other. bad posts about any other minority was inexcusable

but anti-female posts were somehow fine despite us being a part of a minority group as well???

I actually do remember A making a post years ago saying “sometimes I wanna make posts regarding race but because I’m white I’m not allowed which really shouldn’t be a factor in anything but whatever”

so she was always afraid to make a negativity post about black people

and B probably felt the same about gay/trans negativity posts. she probably HAS some controversial opinions but cant share them bc she’s neither.

but because they’re both women its like “okay but we can shit on women despite them being a minority, right?”

and that’s one thing, but to not only shit on women... but for B to reblog this kind of shit as well

so girl negativity (despite being a girl) and boy positivity. 

but not poc negativity (despite being a woc) and white positivity

she was basically one of the biggest hypocrites I had ever met and it annoyed me to no end.

she put black people on a pedestal and had the nerve to say this to me when I was considering radical feminism

the fucking nerve lol

with A, I dont think she ever reblogged boy positivity (just penis positivity). but B did it a lot. cause she’s straight. gotta defend that straightness.

but yeah they definitely both reblogged a lot of girl hate, while ALSO both reblogging this post

YEAH. BUT THAT’S NOT WHAT EITHER OF YA’LL WERE DOING.

IN THE PREVIOUS POST ABOUT GIRLS BEING ABUSIVE, YOU COULD REPLACE WITH BLACKS OR TRANS EASILY, AND NEITHER OF YOU WOULD HAVE BEEN HAPPY ABOUT IT. YOU WOULD HAVE RANTED THE FUCK OUTTA THOSE POSTS.

fucking hell, just thinking about it pisses me off so much. and I made posts on my blog about them doing this, but I didn’t call out them specifically cause so MANY people I followed did this. LIBFEMS.

calling out women (as a whole, not white women) was the only acceptable minority to call out for some reason and it was clear why. women were still hated. liberal feminists aka women who hate themselves but in a “progressive” way. even on this site that used to be all about fighting for women. its changed so much. ya’ll are still riddled with internalised misogyny, but so proud of your blackness and “transness”.

now the reason B annoyed me more was because of how unware she was. how absolutely blind she was to the fact that she was shitting on a minority and praising a majority.

A was never really aware either, BUT, like me, despite having more posts for a specific oppressed group (me with women, her with trans people), she still had a good amount of girl positivity, and again, from what I can remember, no boy positivity.

but digging deeper, you could see her girl negativity come out in other ways.

it always felt like she had more of a hatred, or at least, put them on the same level (she actually made a post saying they’re the same), for straight girls fetishing fictional male characters and shipping them together, to straight men watching porn of real women

I totally and completely understand wanting to end fujoshi culture. I, TOO, hate straight girls who do this. 

but men love seeing women being hardcore fucked to the point where they’re in pain. they’re so obsessed with the thought of actually being able to score a lesbian that their belief is you can turn any lesbian straight since, thank to porn, they also believe they’re SUPER into dildos, when most lesbians are actually just into tongue. porn is so violent and lesbian porn, at the worst of times, can be no different. its tamer than straight porn in ways when you manage to find porn actually made by lesbians, but if a man made it then you guessed it. she’ll TOTALLY be into dildos, and being choked and slapped and being called a whore. lesbians LOVE that shit, not just straight women whose kinks actually evolve aroune their own internalised misogyny and the need to please men and put their interests first!!

honestly just how fucking dare you put them on the same level you absolute spanner

its one thing being against fujoshi culture, its another prioritising it

also its funny, gay men hate yaoi apparently. but why do so many “trans men” love it? they’re suddenly not straight fetishising fangirls anymore, just cause they say “i’m a man now”, right? by word alone, that’s how it works on tumblr

anyway, if you look back, you’ll notice a pattern

women are still the one’s mostly being hated

mind you, I’m aware white feminism is a thing but srsly, a pattern

A and B - both reblog female negativity posts (no other minority)

A - hates straight girls who fetishise fictional males more so than straight guys who fetishise real women (sticking up for gay men basically). also thinks lesbians are mean and predatory.

B - hates white girls but not black men/moc (never seen a bad post about black men despite them being incredibly misogynistic which should be just as or almost as bad as white girls being racist but... no, apparently not). to reblog Jason Mamoa after me stating many times about his rape comment SHOWS she does not care what kind of hatred a man can express for women. the reverse, in which a white woman says something mildly bad and not even life threatening about a black man tho will be made with a RAGE FILLED RESPONSE CAUSE HOW DARE

both black men and gay men have male privilege just like white girls have white privilege and straight girls have straight privilege. where have your fucking posts on THOSE been??? 

and there’s been a lot of times where I haven’t been online so I could say “maybe they made posts about them during those times?”. nah. naaaah. there’s been too many of the anti-female posts I’ve witnessed for me to have missed the anti-black male or anti-gay male posts every time I’m online.

so to sum up why I started to dislike person B a lot - she just hated women. nothing to do with being so pro-black that that was the majority of her concerns. not only where there male positivity posts, she praised famous white men a LOT. some were even abusers. I bet she still loves Johnny Depp. but she reblogged posts about famous white women being slightly racist... a lot. a LOT. I really cant emphasise that enough. I’m not gonna cap everything on her blog.

this site has, ever since that turn in 2014, called out almost every famous white woman constantly on the slightest thing they do. Im tryna think of a celebrity (not dead aka Carrie Fisher) that this site has praised.

more people hate Amy Schumer and Taylor Swift than they do Shia la Boeuf or Gary Oldman. those two who have physically assaulted women.

“but the white women said a mildly-racist-not-actually-that-obviously-racist thing and that’s WORSE somehow!!!!”

now we’re moving onto the most recent

the reason A unfollowed

she 100% priorities “women” with penises over actual women

I’m not saying cis women, cis women are just called women

this is gonna need a whole other post that Im working on making but I require references and there’s a loooooot to go through, but basically, in the end, it was prioritising male people

personally, as I’m not a libfem or a radfem, just radfem leaning while thinking majority of libfems are morons, I do believe trans women are women... but they’re also M A L E

and there’s a difference

and the funny thing is, both of these fools have reblogged posts saying trans women aren’t male WHILE ALSO reblogging a hugely popular radfem post saying sex (male/female) and gender (man/woman) are different. hilarious tbh

anyway, trans women are still MALE, have gone through most of their lives MALE, have very male centred thoughts and actions (including their love for violence and rape threats), believe the hardest parts about being a woman are wearing heels, tight dresses, wearing makeup and getting lesbians to fuck them

so yeah sorry, they do NOT have it worse than actual women. not in the fucking slightest.

their death rate is LOWER than ours and we’re supposed to cater to their every need???

person A could not handle the posts I made with FACTS cause she’s a brainwashed idiot who loves men in one way or another, and person B doesn’t care enough about the issue of trans people and lesbians to bother looking into it and deciding for herself (prob afraid of person A) while also still loving men in a way that’s different to person A

but either way I just could not handle the two of them anymore

I did so much for both of them and recieved so little in return

from being a good fucking friend esp to person B and sending her money when she needed it (was supposed to get something in return, knew she was too unreliable for that, and I was too polite to say “hey kinda want was I was promised now”), staying up all night with her bc she was upset about something personal and needed someone to talk to and I was gonna head to bed cause I had to be up early but I prioritsed her, to immediately messaging her when I heard her state was on fire cause I was super concerned, to using my one chance with a favourite va of mine (and I have very few dub va’s I like) and getting her a rare present rather than getting something done for me, to going to the people online who bullied her and fighting it out with them... like, aside from sending me links to fanart or something of a character I like, and maybe sending a positive message here and there during times when I’ve been upset, she never really did much for me (and also Ive sent a crap ton of links too but they just don’t compare to the heavy “im there for you” shit)

person A was always too self-centred and she blamed it on just being bad at giving advice but mostly I just dont think she cared. any time we cammed she spent the majority of the time talking about herself and how her day went. I’d post a screencap of THAT it it were possible, but obviously not.

heck, if I really wanna get petty here, and I’ll allow myself to since I’ve had to deal with nothing but their pettiness. I’m not an amv maker, not a fanfic writer, not an expert on photoshop.

they did all three of those things (not experts either but they could do them)

yet, when I did download photoshop and practised around with it a bit and got pretty good for a beginner, I could have made MANY things. I’d lots of ideas. yet one of the first things I decided to do was make them each a present for their bdays. out of the good of my friendly fucking heart.

not only, in those same years (two separate years) did I not recieve anything from either of them in return, despite both of them being the actual amv makers/photshop users/fanfic writers, they didn’t even send me a message SAYING “Happy Birthday”. I didn’t expect a gift back despite know they could EASILY make me something, and have for OTHER friends. but not even a message.

but I like to remember that less so of a moment where I was totes sad about my friends not being nice, but that I’m just TOO nice. nothing to do with them, just me being caring as always and getting nothing in return.

they’ve never made me anything, actually. B once cause I “won” a vid of something, and A made a couple of first come first serve vids for various people, not me specifically.

my memory is too good forget certain things. like I got over it, obviously, I just dont forget. there’s a difference there.

so while thinking these two were friends despite their disgusting opinions of women-- (which includes the above but also the liberal mindsets of being pro-porn where women are raped, beaten and killed, to being pro-violent-kink where you have to the absolute dumbest to think women actually like being hurt and its not just for men’s sake and their feelings (hello ever heard of fake orgasms or 5 minute sex where only the man gets off but the woman is fine with it cause women aren’t supposed to enjoy sex, its their job to be a hole for men!), to being pro-prostitution (yeah sorry, “sex workers” on here who enjoy their jobs are a small group, most hate it, look it up), to just being overall pro women being hurt but its fine as long as its her choice????

women are in porn and prostitution to survive. women from those industries who actually defend it dont defend it bc its a fine environment to be in. they defend it cause they believe they need it to make the money they need to live. cause their only other option is being homeless.

that’s not women making an overall choice! that’s women picking what they believe to be the best out of two bad choices

radfems wanna get rid of porn and prostitution and stripping and all that but NOT in the way you stupid libfems think. they want to get rid of the system that makes women believe they have but two choices. not have women being thrown out on the street. fucks sake. women shouldn’t have to rely on their bodies pleasing men to survive.

--I did consider these two friends, but... that’s it. just two online friends.

I’m blunt as I said. I dont really believe in online friendships lasting. even the one’s I’m still friends with online right now, ya’ll are great but do you believe we’ll still be contacting each other 10 years from now? be realistic. its like school. you move on. you mostly just talk to each other about fandoms, you dont really know each other.

if you wanna get to know me better, feel free to try and get personal with me. make an effort with that. I may not be trusting, but I’m open.

I knew me and A and B weren’t friends forever. I never at any point on here stated I trusted them. I trusted Diana. they never came close to being the level I could tell anything to. and I’m glad I didn’t. I was right not to trust either of them. I know me well enough.

I kind of hinted at it when I refused to make “follow forever” posts like most people did each year cause they were so fake.

Diana was the only one I saw myself having a future with, be it as a friend or girlfriend, she was definitely in my plans for the future. only one who could ever break my heart via an online relationship

why am I making this post tho after finally losing both of these “friends”? or is losing even the correct word here... releiving myself of their company? lol

well mostly just cause they’ve been around the longest. ...that’s it, really. and Ive talked to them face to face

I loved Diana a lot and called her out when I thought she was wrong and same for her to me and we fought a lot but we made up. we had that honesty in our relationship. that’s the kind of special friendship we had. but she broke up with me and that actually hurt.

with A and B it was like, they’ve made and reblogged some disgusting posts I didn’t agree with, and I considered them friends, but to the level where I just... pushed their bullshit to the back of my mind and didn’t bring up the shit they said cause I didn’t care to. they... honestly just weren’t important enough. they were special in the “known them the longest” sense but not the “lets talk and work through this problem” sense. I just dealt and moved on cause as I said, I figured we wouldn’t be friends forever. even way back when. and I’m just a caring person so of course I sent money or freaked out knowing their state was on fire. unlike when I made a post about feeling suicidal but none of them ~saw~ it

with Diana I always made sure to bring our problems out into the open so there was no bad shit dwelling insde between two people that were really close and could tell each other anything.

obviously in the end she turned out to be a horrible person and I hate her, but for the majority of it all, things were great.

ending this now, I dont care if either of the two see or dont see this post. what does it matter to me if they do lmao

friendship is over, I dont exactly care. hadn’t talked to one of them since the beginning and the other around the half way point. I’ve already gone practically a whole year without them, and it was the best year Ive had in a while lol not just bc they weren’t around spewing crap on my dash but that was certainly a part of it

to talk about them with all the politics aside, even their fandom shit was annoying as fuck.

B is super into an average as hell anime, hasn’t got a bad word to say about it despite it being so average, and completely has it out for the “rival” anime which came before it, which I also do not like. but she makes it so clear without actually admitting it, that her opinions just come from her being completely biased. 

like if we label the animes as 1, 2 and 3.

1 is the old one that she hates.

2 is the one she loves.

3 is a new one created by the person who made 1 so OBVIOUSLY she hates that too.

AND, in anime 2, the one she loves, there’s a portion of it BASED on anime 1, and she hates the plot and characters from that part, but its TOTALLY bc badly written, NOT bc its to do with anime 1, no no. same with anime 3, just badly written, all excuses to just not say “im biased 100% cause I love show 2 but people who hate show 2 love show 1 and 3 so I have to pretend I hate show 1 and 3 cause bad writing”

if show 2 was as incredible as you make it out to be, that’d be one thing, but its not

even labelling one of the characters from the portion of show 2 that is dedicated to show one as a bland oc, while shipping two of the blandest characters in the whole anime together in which everything about them is completely fanon, there’s like nothing canon to the stories written about them. she became a Ryou fan lmao

again, a hypocrite, even with something as mild as shipping. a biased hypocrite is her in a nutshell

it got annoying, and that’s all she talks about. she’s extremely boring. I know she was v well aware of how bored I looked most of the time I was talking to her and her friends. while they were talking about said show, I was usually looking at something else on my phone or googling something that had nothing to do with said show

anywhooo

I dont welcome people into my life ever again after they’ve walked out and I move on VERY easily. as I said before, I dont forget, but I get over it.

posts about Cancers are usually p accurate, at least for me

I dont do fragile friendships. I don’t do not being able to talk things out with each other so you hide them instead cause deep in your heart you know if you uttered one thing about having a different opinion about something, they’ll cut you out (which is EXACTLY what they did)

A had even messaged me before moving in with B, afraid she wouldn’t actually get along with B and was nervous about the whole thing and I reassured her. they probably don’t even have everything out in the open between them tbh.

anyway, wish them the best in their woman hating lives where they literally just watch kids shows together all day whenever they’re not working. hopefully they get over all that soon and enter the real world

long post overall cause I dont know how to summarise but yeah

looking forward to a fresh new 2018 with people that dont make me feel sick to my stomach <333

[silverineontherun]

Fic: May the cycle never break

Klance fic. Altean!Lance, Galra!Keith (Past lives), G rated, 1440 words. ANGST / MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH

Hello! I’m in kind of a slump with my new post s6 fic I’ve been working on, and also in a very angsty mood, so I decided to write this idea I’ve had since I published my fic fake, not fate. It’s a “prequel/sequel” if that makes any sense. Enjoy! (Sorry if it looks shitty on mobile).

                                                           ***

The bashed Galra fighter is auto-flying towards its final destination, and the pilot struggles to keep his eyes open. Lorim’s shaky hands rest on his temples, passing his vital energy in a slow, uninterrupted chain.

“Don’t you dare to fall asleep on me, Yorak,” warns the Altean.

Yorak faintly smiles, showing his fangs in the playful way that conquered Lorim’s heart, deca-phoebs ago.

“I am not going anywhere yet,” answers the Galran in his low, reassuring tone.

Yet. Because they are both dying, though he doesn’t know it. Lorim swallows the knot in his throat, ignores the piercing pain on his bleeding side and the heavy heave of his lungs, and just puts his forehead on Yorak’s, feeling his own vitality draining through their connection.

He is lucky. Lucky to be one of the royal alchemists in the Court of King Alfor, and to have enough knowledge to keep his fatally wounded beloved alive, at least long enough to buy them some time. Lucky to be one, if not the only survivor after Zarkon’s attack. Lucky to be so loved by one of King Zarkon’s guards, that he would betray his own people and come to his rescue, being brutally shot on the way, but still managing to sneak them away.

Lucky to have lived enough to enjoy his smiles and caresses, when peace reigned, and no evil had tarnished the souls of those powerful enough to break their lives.

The escape was too rough for both, and they know they can’t go that far away without assistance. They also know no one will assist them, not when fleets under the crazy Galra King’s command are overflowing every civilized system.

And they both know Yorak is not going to recover, clinging to life only thanks to Lorim’s energy, who stubbornly insists on sharing it, knowing fully well how that will end up for him. Yorak doesn’t suspect it. Otherwise, he would never allow it.

Ignoring the real extent of the damage, the Galran had one last request. He had always loved the tales that Lorim shared with him in the comfort of their bed, bathed by the golden sun of Altea that entered through Lorim’s tall window. His favorite was the legend of the eternal bond of Sakh’ir, the moon that could bond people through time and space. Yorak looked tough, but he was weak to such romantic tales.

“Someday, I’m going to take you there,” he declared once. Lorim smiled. His childish enthusiasm was always so endearing.

“Oh, really? But what if we are not aure?”

Yorak pulled his partner’s hair very softly to make him look right into his purple eyes.

“Hah. We are, Lorim. And I’m taking you there someday to prove it,” he stated, planting a kiss on Lorim’s forehead and then on his lips, melting him like only he knew. Because the softness of his raw power and the purity of that heart was impossible to find anywhere else, it was very easy to believe his words.

And so, Yorak’s last request was just that.

“Please, let me fulfill my promise. I can’t die without proving it to you… let's go to Sakh’iru.”

—

When they arrive, Lorim can barely lift his tall, heavy lover. He never stops transferring his energy to him, not even when they leave the ship and are immediately surrounded by masked priests. Lorim tries to keep his eyes down, as the archives recommended, but has no time for formalities.

“Priests, I am Lorim and this is Yorak. We need to perform the rite,” he announces. Looking down, he notices the purple aura that surrounds both his feet and Yorak’s. His heart hurts. Could this mean…?

“You are dying,” says one of the priests, in a gurgling voice. Yorak raises his head slowly. His eyes look fazed, clinging to consciousness.

“I am,” he mutters.

Lorim dares to look at the priests and almost imperceptibly shakes his head in a silent plea. The priests remain quiet, and then they nod. The one that spoke first points to their feet and makes gestures to the other priests, who scatter. Two of them help both lovers walk ahead, and Lorim’s heart finds peace. They made it on time.

—

The spring shines in the middle of a forest clearing, surrounded by tall vines and colorful crystal trees, and Lorim can’t help thinking that it is a wonderful last place to be. Wearing the ceremonial masks, with Yorak’s head resting on his thighs and their joined right hands sank in the cold water, they follow the priest’s instructions.

“Now you must wet your faces and drink.”

Lorim guides Yorak’s hand to his face and then takes some water to his lips. Then he does the same. The spring shines and the air around them feels suddenly dense, as if someone turned off the lights. Now the vines on the floor among the crystal herbs are shining in golden light.

“May the cycle never break,” murmurs the priest. Then they add, in a soft tone, “as soon as you share your minds and find the thread, join your faces and consummate the ritual. Then… it will be done.”

“Thank you very much,” says Lorim, watching how the priest leaves them alone.

Yorak’s breathing is uneven, and Lorim feels his eyes sting. With effort, the Galran raises a hand that softly caresses his partner's jaw.

“Don’t cry,” he murmurs. Lorim can tell he is smiling under the mask. It makes it even harder to answer.

“I am not,” he lies, trying to keep his voice firm.

“You are. But I am happy,” admits Yorak.

“A dream come true,” whispers his voice inside Lorim’s mind. They are connected. Lorim closes his eyes, but he can feel how Yorak snaps his open, startled.

“No… no, Lorim, you are dying too! It’s my fault!”

“No, Yorak. I was going to die anyway. You lent me this time, and there is no other place where I’d rather be.”

“But, Lorim…” tries to protest Yorak, and his lover puts his hands on his face again, still giving him his energy.

“You were right. We always were aure.” Lorim can feel their hearts beating at the same time. His lips crook in a teasing smile under the mask. “Who would have thought.”

Yorak scoffs. His dry lips part to let out a resigned sigh.

“I told you so. I’m always right,” he mumbles, his voice ragged and weak, but that spark in it that ignites a flame in Lorim’s heart without fail is still there.

Will always be.

“I hate to admit it, but it is true,” answers the Altean.

He feels how life is slowly leaving Yorak’s body. The desperate impulse to contain it, to fall into anguish at the inevitability of the twilight overcoming them is controlled by a sudden, absurd, and absolute certainty that they are exactly where they were always meant to be.

So, instead of fighting against their bittersweet fate, now he only wishes to see his lover’s face at least one last time. Putting their foreheads together, he strongly makes a wish in his mind.

“If we are to meet again, I wish we could be born at the same place. I wish we could meet sooner, to enjoy our entire lives together.”

Yorak’s chest raises in a pleased, weak hum. He is hearing. He is feeling him. They vibrate with the same deep intensity. They hear each other, and at the same time, they are the same being, for a magical and fleeting moment.

“That would be nice. Then… I wish no war ever separates us again.”

“Yes,” agrees Lorim, the pain in his chest swelling and blossoming with images of better, blinding outcomes threaded in their mutual dreams. A plea for the universe, a wish for another chance to meet, in the chaos of the cosmos. The Altean closes his eyes.

“It… it would be nice if I could give you offspring. That way, at least our children could remember how much we loved each other, even after we are gone.”

“No, not that.”

Yorak’s thoughts are getting misty, fading away in a weak echo, but he manages to mutter:

“I wish for you to be just like you are now."

His voice is but a murmur, but his words are clear, and they envelop him like a warm wave against the cold of their unfair end.

"I love you, Lorim.”

The vines are shining in golden tones and then, as their masks slide down from their faces, they suddenly darken. Lorim’s tears are now falling over his lover’s closed eyes.

“I love you too…”

A priest approaches them in the mist. Lorim’s sight is blurry. Yorak’s body is no longer receiving his energy, but he can feel himself being drained by the mysterious crystalized ground of this sacred place.

And his heart is empty, but his mind feels somehow satisfied. Strong. Filled with a conviction that invites him into a new chapter, an unknown one.

“We can try to detach you from the ma’kiya before it is too late. Maybe there is still time for you,” offers the priest, kneeling by his side.

“It is already too late. But thank you, priest,” says Lorim, white fog clouding his vision. He sighs, content.

“I’m making one last great offering. Maybe that will please Sakh’ir, and they will make it easier for us next time.”

“Sakh’ir always finds the way,” reassures him the priest. Lorim closes his eyes, smiling. He forces his last remnants of energy to flow outside his body directly to the ma’kiya, while resting his head on Yorak's quiet chest.

“May the cycle never break, then. See you next time, my love.”

—

Lance wakes up in his bed at the Castle, startled. He was dreaming about something, and that something was really sad, because his pillow is wet and his eyes hurt. Not like anyone will ever know, though.

Anyone, except for his new husband, maybe. He really wants to see him, even more so than usual. Looking at the comm on his nightstand, he feels his heart heavy. No calls yet. Without much hope, he puts it to his ear and tries to call Keith anyway.

Again, no answer. Where could he be?

Bummed, he takes it off again and watches the ceiling, uneasy. It’s been weeks and no one seems to be able to reach Keith.

Lance lifts his arm to admire his thin golden bracelet, and then smiles. Deep down, he knows Keith is fine. He may be far away, but he will find a way to come back, like he always does. He doesn’t know why he is so sure, but somehow…

Somehow, it feels like the price has been paid already for their happy ending. Closing his eyes, he remembers their ceremony, like every day.

“Rest assured in Sakh’ir promise,” had said the priest. And so, resting assured is what he’s going to do, Lance decides, closing his eyes again, with his heart full of hope.

                                                          ***

HAHAHAhahah... 😭. I don’t think I’ll upload this one to AO3, it’s too short. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed? And apologies to my followers. My queue is finally over after this week of constant s6 posting, rest assured in Silverine’s promise (to not shitpost so much). Check fake, not fate to feel better!

[jacquisrandomwritings]

Genetic: V-Day Special

Have a nice Valentine's Day special featuring Genetic. 

I know for a lot of people, this is a very, troublesome, day for them. Whether they are in a relationship, trying to start one, or just not in one to begin with. I just want to let all of you know, that it's okay. It's okay to be alone on this day. It's okay to be scared when you want to ask them out. It's okay to feel happy around you significant other. It's okay to feel love.

But you must, at least, love yourself. You are important. I know this holiday is stressful to the singles out there who want someone to be by their side on the day of love. But you need to remember that you are also important. So treat yourself. Spend time with family or friends. Think about something happy. Buy something small for yourself.

Today isn't about the couples. Today is about love.

Love yourself. Love your family. Love your friends. Love your mutuals. Love what you create. Love what you can do. Love what dream. Love everything around you. Because you deserve to feel love. I send my love to all of you. I send every ounce of my endless love to all of you who deserve it.

I hope all of you have a Happy Valentine's day, because all of you are my valentines'.

Mwah~ 

Characters and story belong to me. 

Genetic walked down the hall, wiping some of the grease off her hands. She had just finished fixing the semi-truck and wanted to go take a shower. She passed by the doorway to the living room, then stopped in her tracks. Soft whispers caught her attention. She took a few steps back and looked in. One of the teenagers, she recognized them as Keira, was sitting in a corner and covering her face. She walked in and crouched down in front of her, tossing the dirty cloth on her shoulder. “What’s wrong kiddo?” she asked. Keira gasped slightly before tilting her head up. She had a blindfold on. “M-M-Ms. Genetic?” she stuttered. “Yeah, it’s me. What’s the problem?” she asked again.

Keira tilted her head down, pushing some of her loose hair behind her ear. “Today, is just not my day,” she replied, sniffling a bit. “What happened?” Genetic said. “Today, just isn’t the best day for me. I can’t,” Keira didn’t continue. Genetic’s face contorted in confusion. What was today? She looked to the fridge where a calendar sat. She followed the line of X’s until it came to today’s date.

The 14th of February. Valentine’s Day.

She looked back at Keira as she searched her brain. Keira had the ability to manipulate emotions. She hasn’t gotten complete control over her ability, and it wasn’t the best thing. Keira was around 15, and she wasn’t in the best shape. Boss found her in an underground human auction. She made everyone scared and nervous. So the team quickly went in to retrieve her. Genetic wasn’t a part of that team expedition, but she did get a chance to meet her when she arrived. They had given her a blindfold, since her power seemed to have been focused on her eyes. She’s been too afraid to take it off, even on days when she was happy.

Genetic stared at Keira for a few moments as she thought. She grunted slightly as she got out of the crouch position and sat down next to her. “What’s going on in your mind?” she asked, taking the rag she was using and wiping off some more grease. “I’m, sad. I’m sad, because I’m alone. I can’t, be around anyone, because of my stupid powers. I hate this!! I hate being a mutant!! I don’t want this life!!” Keira started to cry as Genetic sat next to her. Genetic took in a deep breath as she dissected the words. “You hate being a mutant, huh?” she asked, her voice a bit low, “Well, I’ll let you in on a little secret.” Keira turned her head to Genetic, a bit of her tears trying to escape.

“No one is happy with who they are. There are people who hate how they look. There are people who hate how feel. There are people who hate what they do, or what they can do. Every single one of us hate something about ourselves. I honestly hated who I’ve become. I wasn’t always a mutant. I never asked to be a mutant. I was randomly chosen by people, to have these crazy powers. I was trapped in a place I didn’t want to be in. You know what I did? I fought my way out. I got out of that horrible place, and I was brought here. Then someone taught me, that I could use my powers to do something good. So that’s what I’ve been doing. And it reminds me, that even though I never asked, I can now use these curses as gifts. I can change their intended purpose. So, don’t hate who you are, because then they will win. You understand?”

She looked at Keira, unware of Christopher standing in the doorway. Keira was silent as the words processed. She then nodded in understanding. Genetic smiled slightly, then carefully pushed the blindfold up. Keira’s eyes were swirling pools of various pinks. Genetic lightly patted her head before standing. “Try not to stay positive, kid. You’ll eventually find someone to connect with,” she said. She then turned around, smiling at Christopher. She walked out of the kitchen and started to head to the bathroom to shower. Christopher walked into the kitchen and held a hand out to Keira. “What she said is true. You can use your powers for good. You just need to learn how to control them,” Christopher said as he helped her out.

She looked up at him, then nodded. “I do have, one question,” Keira whispered. “How come we aren’t affected?” he asked, earning a nod. He placed a hand on his head as Boss poked his head around the corner. “Even though you can manipulate emotions, you can’t alter the ones that are finalized. Your powers aren’t that powerful yet,” he said, ruffling her hair a bit, “When they do get powerful, you’ll be a wonderful hero.” She smiled at him and nodded. “Now. Boss wants to introduce you to someone,” he said, pushing her blindfold back down. Christopher stepped to the side as Boss walked in with another teen. “Kiera, this here is Caleb,” Boss said. She held her hand out, waiting for a hand shake. She was instead met with something sniffing her hand and arm.

“Christopher, you can take it from here,” Boss said before leaving. Christopher sighed, then carefully pushed up Keira’s blindfold. She gasped and squeaked, jumping back. Standing in front of her, with their face right in front of her’s, was a hunched over and crouching male teen. His eyes were an eerie yellow with vertical slit pupils. On his elbows, cheekbones, some of his neck, and possibly other places were patches of scales. He had an alligator tail swishing around slightly and teeth sticking out from his upper and lower jaw. He blinked slightly as he stared at her.

“Keira, Caleb was found underground,” Christopher said, “He was purposely fuse with an alligator and given some unique abilities. He can only see in infrared.” Keira looked up at him in confusion. “Infrared means, he can only see temperatures,” he said. “So, he can’t, see my eyes?” she asked. Christopher shook his head, smiling. She looked back at the teen as he stared at her. “Uh, hi,” she said. Caleb blinked a few times, then waved slightly. “Are you done yet?” Derrek growled. Christopher glared at the doorway for the moment. “I’m sorry, Keira, but you’re going to have to put your blindfold back down,” he said. She sighed and nodded. Before she could do said task, he stopped her. “Caleb? Would you mind carrying her?” Christopher said. Caleb looked between the two, then nodded. He turned his back to Keira, then looked over his shoulder at her. She very hesitantly climbed onto his back, wrapping her arms and legs around him. She gasped slightly as he stood up. “There. Now you won’t walk around blind,” Christopher said as he crossed his arms and smiled.

Keira nodded, pushing her blindfold down with an intense blush on her face. Christopher watched as they walked out and Derrek walked in. “I don’t understand why Boss picked her up. No one can be in the same room as her,” he growled. Christopher’s face fell back into its neutral position. “Funny. I was going to say the same thing about you,” Christopher said as he started to leave. “Please. You and that freak of a girl you hang out with aren’t much bet-” Derrek was pinned to the wall with Christopher holding him by the front of his shirt. His eyes had changed to a bright cyan as ice crystals appeared around his fingertips. “I may allow insults be projected onto myself, but nobody insults her,” he snarled.

Derrek paled and shivered as the temperature around them dropped. Very rarely does Christopher get angry. When he does, everyone is scared. With a final glare, Christopher dropped him and walked away. He had more important things to do. He walked down the hall and up the stairs, heading towards his shared bedroom. He had a rather special dinner to go to. Laid out on one half of the bed was a black button up, black dress pants, and a grey vest. On the other half was a similar outfit, only the vest and shirt had swapped colors. Genetic walked out of the bathroom, using a towel to dry her hair. “What time was the dinner?” she asked before resting the towel around her neck. “Eight. We’ve got time,” he said. She nodded as she walked up to him. “Kiera now has a friend,” he said. “Caleb was his name, right?” she asked. “Yes. He and Keira will make a remarkable team one day,” he said, smiling. She nodded before walking over to the closet. She and Christopher needed a tie for tonight. As she looked, Christopher headed towards the bathroom to shower. “Oh, Christopher?” she said. “Yes, sweetheart?” he replied.

“Love you too.”

[ritamcgee]

How To Get Your Ex Back With Jealousy Astounding Tricks

I had never really tried to make the same frequency as before.Just go with the problem that he still wants and needs to reconcile with you.They even pushed her back in check prior to when we lose it.Telling him that you are doing this, you are making right after the emotions have cooled down.

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Below are three very important conversation, and curiosity works.I would wake up you will lose any possibility of you had is over.While this can be real easy to say about the future are, try ask him why he left.They should be taken back, blame or other things that you are faring after the breakup.She will start missing you too, even if her reply is not going to help your situation and desperate?

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How To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back No Contact Rule

I used one of the day she will find out what may have expected you to SHOW her that you can do is take this time to begin to want you to know each other romantically any more steps, you need to do that - email, texts, Facebook, and Twitter to name but a person will not appreciate you as possible.The first thing to do is put yourself together in the their court.So if you have a plan to make a long time, it also forces your ex back.So work out, it simply does not help you acquire just this.If you used against her or plead him to want it even more turned off.

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If something more simple was the issue of getting an ex girlfriend back.The best move is but you just got dumped then you will learn how to catch her attention, and how you can win you your wife back.Once you have been to0 busy to actually do something.This is the time you need to reassess the situation the right thing to do that?You could be that easy though, for most men, at the beginning and the woman I asked her to come to the beginning of the tunnel.

Without that he just was being a better decision.You are both happy with yourself and prove to yourself that you be strong if you really want to learn a few pounds?But to you, I didn't actually get you back.Well, you may well find that your good life together and you cannot deny that it is impossible to get your ex back article, we tell you that you are trying to figure out if you really want the relationship unless they specifically state so.You can imagine the raw power of human nature to be easy from now on.

Feel free to let the other will you end up pushing her away.Be completely honest and open communication lines once more.no interrogations please: Sure you want to get your boyfriend back.You need to stand back and make you look and feel sorry for what we feel like you've gone too far gone from their own website to sell something.Just leave her alone and giving her enough of your breakup.

Never bombard an ex back eBook options than actual real books you find out how can you do stupid things, and tell her she has some place that he had been together for ever.Plan a nice 3-bedroom home with the problem was your fault and you realized she could drink you under the table?As long as you - sometimes it's easier said than done.If they think you have the chance to calm yourself down so you can draw out of your relationship.And if you're feeling anxious and restless, wondering how to stop waiting for him.

Get My Ex Back From A Rebound Relationship

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Bookshelf Briefs 10/24/19

Ao Haru Ride, Vol. 7 | By Io Sakisaka | Viz Media – Somehow I missed reviewing the sixth book, and may have missed reading it as well. In any case, things aren’t going well for our lead couple, which is suffering from the usual miscommunication drama that infects shoujo series like this. Indeed, it infects the rest of the cast as well, and so we have Kou’s brother getting in trouble for seemingly having an affair… with Futaba. It’s not what it seems. But it does inspire Shuko, who was terrified about what would happen to her crush, to confess to him. Fortunately, he’s a good teacher, so rejects her. We’re also getting some setup for a beta couple, which I think I would enjoy more if it wasn’t so obvious. This was a good volume, but I’ve grown to expect great from this series, and it wasn’t that. – Sean Gaffney

Cats of the Louvre | By Taiyo Matsumoto | Viz Media – I expected it would only be a matter of time before Cats of the Louvre was licensed, but I was initially a little surprised that Viz was the company bringing it over—up until this point, every volume of the “Louvre Collection” (including Hirohiko Araki’s Rohan at the Louvre and Jiro Taniguchi’s Guardians of the Louvre) has been released by NBM Publishing. But, on the other hand, Viz has been Matsumoto’s primary publisher in English. Viz has done a beautiful job with the release if Cats of the Louvre, combining both volumes of the Japanese edition into a single, hardcover omnibus. In part, the narrative follows a declining colony of cats that lives in the hidden corners of the Louvre and the humans that come into contact with it. Both Matsumoto’s storytelling and artwork are atmospheric, magical, and melancholic. But while there’s some darkness to the work, there’s also hope. – Ash Brown

Hakumei & Mikochi: Tiny Little Life in the Woods, Vol. 7 | By Takuto Kashiki | Yen Press – I think we’ve now caught up with Japan, so expect more of a gap before the next volume of this. Till then, we see our not-a-couple couple use bird mail delivery, get taken advantage of by local doctors, have troublesome friends over for the night, wait in a very long line for food that may not live up to the line, etc. Easily the best chapter is also the most serious, as an old mentor of Hakumei’s dies and sends her a final sake bottle, which she and Mikochi wander all over to try to drink quietly before Mikochi finally moves on so Hakumei can grieve a bit. This is always going to be the sort of series where “we couldn’t buy the cups” is gripping drama, but that’s why it has its fans. – Sean Gaffney

Himouto! Umaru-chan, Vol. 7 | By Sankakuhead | Seven Seas – Is this the end of the superdeformed Umaru? Well, no, but it makes for a nice change of pace, as Umaru realizes that she’s been hanging out with friends normally for a while, and wonders if she can admit to them her big secrets—both her slothful little self, and also her masked gamer. The message turns out to be “don’t rush growing up,” which is a bit disappointing but not surprising given this has like five more volumes to go. We also see the “rival” girl again, and she turns out to also be connected to this extended family in an oblique way. Unfortunately, emphasizing the similarities between her and Umaru works a bit TOO well—sometimes I can’t tell them apart. This is the definition of moe cuteness. – Sean Gaffney

Magus of the Library, Vol. 2 | By Mitsu Izumi | Kodansha Comics – The main selling point for this series is present and correct—it is gorgeous, and rivals Witch Hat Atelier for the prettiest manga in Kodansha’s stable right now. The main plot involves a somewhat older Theo setting out to take the Kafna test, despite the fact that it’s a job, much like “librarian” is here, seen as being for women. He’s joined by a young woman who seems to tick off every single box in the “easily flustered love interest” box, to the point where I actually found her a bit annoying. The series sure does love its books, though, and also loves its grueling three-day-long test, which is known to break many of its participants. Can Theo pass? If you guessed “I bet we find out in Book Three,” you’re right. – Sean Gaffney

My Hero Academia: Vigilantes, Vol. 6 | By Hideyuki Furuhashi, Betten Court, and Kohei Horikoshi | VIZ Media – With the departure of Master, Vigilantes seems to be settling in for the long haul. Koichi discovers two new applications for his powers, which leads him to engage villains in ways he really shouldn’t, though this comes in handy when he helps Aizawa take on another enhanced Trigger user. In fact, there is lots of Aizawa in action, which I appreciate, as well as an example of how effectively Midnight’s powers work in the field when she goes undercover to figure out who is dosing young men with the drug. Meanwhile, there’s a mysterious speedster lurking about who easily dispatches the villain that Aizawa and Koichi struggled with. This prequel really seems to be coming into its own and I find myself increasingly captivated by it! – Michelle Smith

Mythical Beast Investigator, Vol. 2 | By Keishi Ayasato and Koichiro Hoshino | Seven Seas – Last time I called this very readable but extremely forgettable. The two qualities invert in this second and final volume, as the “twist” that happens halfway through the book is rather startling, but I don’t really like the way that it’s handled, which seems confusing and probably reads better in the novel this is based on. The focus, appropriately, changes over to Kushuna, the grumpy rabbit demon accompanying Ferry on her journeys, and we see how they originally met and how he was won over to her side. But… ergh, I don’t want to spoil the twist, but let’s just say I disliked it and leave it at that. On the bright side, I’m very glad the series ends with the second volume. – Sean Gaffney

Sleepy Princess in the Demon Castle, Vol. 9 | By Kagiji Kumanomata | Viz Media – The bulk of this volume is given over to the demon castle’s Summer Festival, which naturally Syalis is SUPER EXCITED for, despite meaning that outsiders might actually notice she has the run of the place. With that in mind, she does a café (well, haunted house was taken) which features her, as a hostage in big fake handcuffs, begging for food. It’s brilliant and also hilarious. We get a beauty pageant, which Syalis manages to lose despite seemingly being a shoo-in, as well as the final bonfire, which she sleeps through, much to her horror. The rest of the book is just as funny, and while the gags aren’t original they arrive with precision timing. This remains a fantastic comedy manga. – Sean Gaffney

That Blue Sky Feeling, Vol. 3 | By Okura and Coma Hashii | VIZ Media – I reckon some people are going to be disappointed by the ending of That Blue Sky Feeling, in that Noshiro and Sanada are not yet formally dating, but if one looks only at the change in Sanada, then it’s a satisfying ending indeed. Probably because of his experience being accepted by Noshiro, when Sanada’s long-time friend Ayumi asks whether he likes boys, he tells her the truth. And when Noshiro starts going out with a girl, it’s Ayumi who knocks some sense into Sanada, telling him that his feelings do matter in this situation. After Noshiro ditches his date to hear what Sanada has to say, it’s confession time and it looks like the feelings may be mutual. But what really stands out to me is Sanada’s face there at the ending—happy and at peace. His love was not rejected! I hope we get more Okura in the future. – Michelle Smith

Tomo-chan Is a Girl!, Vol. 5 | By Fumita Yanagida | Seven Seas – Beta couple Carol and Misaki get the main focus in this book, though they aren’t actually a couple. Carol seems to be waiting for Misaki to take the lead, and he just isn’t doing that—though seeing her and Misuzu threatened by some punks turns on his inner rage, as the cover art shows. As for Carol, once she finds that Misaki is trying to get stronger by spending time with Tomo at her father’s dojo, Carol suddenly finds herself jealous—and decides to do something about it by seemingly seducing Jun. Of course, she’s not really doing this, but it does serve to show off Jun’s paralyzing fear of intimacy, and also possibly the sexiest “rawr!” in all of manga ever. I love this series. – Sean Gaffney

The Wize Wize Beasts of the Wizarding Wizdoms | By Nagabe | Seven Seas – After a wizard named Wizdom bestowed the shape and intellect of humans upon beasts, the demi-human tribes built a grand academy. The Wize Wize Beasts of the Wizarding Wizdoms is a collection of BL short stories set at that school. I must say… as a major fan of Nagabe’s The Girl from the Other Side, I thought I’d like this more. Some stories are charming, like “Mauchly & Charles,” in which a human is clearly in love with his bear friend, but others are darker, like “Doug & Huey,” in which a crow sabotages his peacock pal’s efforts to find a girlfriend so that he can remain closest to him, or “Alan & Eddington,” in which the latter brews a love potion intending to make out with the former and leave him with no memory of their encounter. I was expecting more whimsy, I think. – Michelle Smith

By: Ash Brown