#i love bokoblin soooo much..

[the-knife-consumer]

fINALLY BOKOBLIN APPRECIATION

[luimagines]

He Tries to Impress You Part 2

Masterlist

Part 1

Part two will include Hyrule, Sky and Time.

Content under the cut!

Hyrule

“Soooo....” You poked his shoulder with an innocent look to you face. “Mr. Legend says that you can do magic.”

Hyrule flushes slightly. “I swear he makes it to be cooler than it really is. It’s just something I’ve always been able to do. The other guys can all harness magic in one way or another. I don’t know what the big deal is.”

You grin wider. “You say that, and I get that’s where you’re coming from, but you’re the only one that doesn’t need something to do it.”

“Something?” Hyrule raises an eyebrow, amused. “What’s a something?”

You huff jokingly. “You know! A something! An item! A tool, a weapons a weird pine cone looking thing or something shiny! But you don’t need that stuff... Right?”

Hyrule can feel a little bit of pride in the way you’re getting excited over this. He’ll never understand why the group seems to place importance on this skill of his but he supposed his Hyrule is wrapped as it is. There’s a lot he doesn’t understand and he doubts he ever will.

“Right.” He agree, smiling brightly. He can almost see stars in your eyes by how excited you get at the concept.

“Show me?” You wiggle in place. “Please?”

Hyrule snorts. “It’s not that impressive unless it’s on a grand scale. But that’s reserved for battle.”

He snaps, getting bits of electricity to web between his fingers. It’s a small party trick that he likes to show new people before he shows off something much larger and grand. He remembers that moment with the Captain before they both took down a swarm of remaining monsters together.

You gasp excitedly, grabbing his hand without notice. “No way! How did you do that!?”

Hyrule pauses, his brain screeches to a halt. Your hands are very soft from what he can feel on his fingertips. He knew that he was sweet on you but he can feel his heart get caught in his throat at they you seem to stare at him wonder.

“Do it again!”

Hyrule does it again without thinking, completely entranced by your expressions. If you would smile like that at him every time, you could tell him to jump and he’d ask how high.

He was worse off than he thought.

He clears his throat again and moves so he can hold your hands instead. It catches your attention enough where you stop looking solely on where the magic came from but onto his face at last. Hyrule smiles, trying to fight his blush at how well this was going for him. “I swear I can do other things.”

You get more excited. “Like what?”

Hyrule thinks for a moment. A lot of the spells he knows are offensive instead of defensive and will hurt you if he tries them. There’s his Life spell but he doesn’t really have any injuries and it’s just the two of you right now. He hums and tilts his head this way and that.

He smirks.

He pulls away from you slightly and chants the familiar words. His vision shifts and he shrinks.

He can hear you scream in delight and clap. When he opens his eyes again, you’re much bigger than he is and look positively enamored by this very small concept. 

“Hello!” He calls out. But he knows you won’t understand him. No one ever has. “You’re very pretty.”

“Oh...you’re so cute. I think I love you.” You coo at him, catching yourself a moment to late. “Oh-! Um! I mean-”

Hyrule can only laugh. “It’s ok. I think I love you too.”

But you won’t know that part.

Sky

Sky tried to stay on his feet as monster were coming in the left and from the right. There was very little that the Master Sword couldn’t take down.

Sky smiles fondly at the memory. Fi would have loved each and everyone of the boys in the group. He’s sure of it. Which is why it hurts when some of the talk of their distain for the blade or perhaps- it was merely a bad time of their life like the Rancher mentioned.

Even so, none of them had the connect he did to holy blade. Sky isn’t entirely sure what to think about that.

He cuts down the bokoblins from an area he’s already forgotten. He knew it was mentioned but who knows at this point if they’re not going to have monsters coming in from the in between time periods and be a mix of either.

Sky takes a breath and readies a spin attack.

He sees you in his peripheral and there’s more monsters coming up on the far end of the field.

Sky frowns, not wanting to see you get overwhelmed by the threats. He raises his sword skyward- lighting collects by the blade in a move that he’s all terra familiar with.

He strikes down and sends the beam your way.

It misses you by a hair- taking out the monster you were fighting in the process and scaring away the monsters that were already aproaching.

You stand there, slack jawed and slowly turn your head to look at Sky.

He pauses. Should he... have not done that? Did you not know that was an option? It’s not something he likes to do all the time. It always managed to make his arm feel weird and the lighting scars from Demise left an ugly scar.

Sky waves.

You wave back robotically before you turn your head again to see the carnage left over. You give Sky a thumbs up.

A laugh barks out of the young hero before he can stop it and he jogs to where you stand frozen on the battle field. “Enjoy the show?”

You shut your jaw with a small click and point to the sword in his hand. “...Could that thing always do that?”

Sky looks down to where he holds the blade. “To my knowledge, yes. I‘ve always been able to do that move with the Fi.”

“Fi?” You ask.

Oops. Sky bite in the inside of his cheek. He didn’t mean to let that slip. That was on accident.

You don’t seem to take notice of it. Before Sky can blurt out one of his most trusted companions on his journey of herodom, you point at the next group of monsters that approach. “How long can you do that for?”

Sky shrugs. “A few more times before my scars act up.”

Your mouth opens but you shut it again. “Ok- nevermind. Don’t do that.”

Sky smirks and does it to next group

You yelp, now actually seeing it in action and jump behind him, keeping your hands on his shoulders. “Warning!”

He snorts, putting his free hand on yours. “Pretty cool, huh?”

“...Yeah...” You say breathlessly. “No kidding... No wonder all you guys talk about it....Can it do anything else?”

“Of course.” Sky acts offended on behalf on the blade. He lets the moment take a breath before he smirks and bumps his elbow with yours, hoping to earn cool points. “Do you want to see?”

“Yes!”

Time

Time had realized very quickly that he had a slight problem.

He wanted your attention on him and only him. Time never considered himself a jealous man nor would have thought that would have feelings of insecurity this late into his life- and yet here we are.

Time watches you interact with the boys with a small smile on his face. At least he can see that you enjoy their company and they make you happy with their youthful antics. It’s something he knows can’t fully keep up with even if he tried.

But- that doesn’t change the fact that you hardly give him the attention he desires. Something ought to change that.

Time also never considered himself a show off- something that the boys occasionally tried to get him to indulge him. However, he’s never felt a need to do so. Admittedly, even now he’s still not sure if those are the means to get your to notice him. It would seem ingenuine to his person.

Until it begins to rain cats and dogs at least.

The storm is unprecedented and causes the dirt underneath their feet to be unsteady and slippery. Many of them try to run only to land on their butts or faces.

His armor would be his downfall in moments like this. If there would be any lightning his very life could be at stake. But then he sees you helping Hyrule get back to his feet, ushering Legend under the cover of the jacket you’ve lent.

Lightning strikes in the distance. He needs to get everyone under cover and get out of his armor. 

“There’s a cave this way!” Wild calls out, holding his hand over his eyes to keep the water out in vain. 

Twilight is quick to follow suit, picking up Wind and Four and holding either one in each arm. Time follows them as quickly as the terrain would allow him to go. The cave is colder and stone from the entrance to the pitch black back- but it’s dry.

Time sheds the metal from his body as fast as he can. As the others file in, Time finds himself doing a mental head count. Wild, Twilight, Four and Wind entered before him. Hyrule and Legend follow soon after, both covered in mud and sopping wet but unharmed as well.

More lighting strike and for some odd reason, Time feels compelled to head back out there- sans his armor.

Warrior and Sky head in last- the scarf and sailcloth held them both back from entering with the others. 

Time undo's the last of the claps and looks around once more. The clouds have it difficult to see out into the open despite it being only three in the afternoon.

Sky coughs and begins to rid himself of his layers like everyone else. “We’re missing one...”

Time runs back out.

Frantically, he begins calling out your name, just barely being able to hear himself over the thunder. Lightning strikes closer- hitting one of the trees and exploding it on contact. The pieces rain in a fiery array of painful reds and blacks.

You scream.

Time turns on his heel to head toward the sound.

When he gets to you- he sees that you’re trapped between one of the larger pieces of the tree- flame holding on strong despite the torrential rain- and another tree you seemed to have attempted to take shelter under once you were separated.

Time doesn’t hesitate to rush forward and grab the flaming piece of wood, hauling it away from you. “Come on. I’m getting you out of here. You’re going to be ok.”

You nod numbly, taking his hand. Effortlessly, he hauls you up into his arms and takes off the way he came. Lightning continues to strike around you and tree continue to be caught on fire and explode but Time makes it back to the cave without a hitch- even if he feels marginally winded. And he’s definitely going to feel his back and hands tomorrow- but for now, everyone is safe.

“Old Man your hands!” Legend cries out in horror.

It’s only after he’s set you down at you notice them as well and gasp.

“Believe it or not, I barely feel it.” Time responds, going so far as to wipe them on his pants.

“Don’t! Don’t do that!” Wild flinches.

You stare at him in shock and awe. “You saved me.”

He reaches out and pats your head, trailing his hand down the side of your head with more tender than he realizes. “Of course. Didn’t think twice.”

You gulp and take his hands, avoiding eye contact. “Come on. This will hurt later. We have to take care of it.”

Worth it. Time sighs and lets you pull him along. At least you’re safe.

Part 3

[unprofessionalclownery]

something about how undead supernatural enemies are far far more scarier than the regular more animalistic ones bc that thing used to be human but now something is clearly Wrong with is soooo good.

Like yeah, I can take out the gibdos with a single shock fruit arrow and are a lot less dangerous than the average red bokoblin, but the way the shamble and shake their way over to you slowly, like a predator stalking its prey in the way that it knows a chase is futile and you'll get tired eventually is just,,, gah!!!! I love it so much. Major props to the zelda team. As much as they freak me out I was so excited to see them return

[thegeminisage]

this poor sign guy all the way out in the hebra blizzard lol

verrry interested in tulin's wind-gust technique...i hope that's revali's gale

OHHH I FOUND ROBLOX GOLEM GUY up in the sky.......i bet im gonna get my ass kicked

ok, so i have no idea how to damage it. time to google

GOT HIM. not too bad actually although i hate i had to use so many arrows. i didnt get hit once!

I SEE A GLEEOK BELOW ME...HOLY SHIT

dodged the gleeok but got my ass beat by a bokoblin camp :| they ambushed me...

oh my god, if you fuse 2 snowballs together you can make a snowman lol

maaaan tulin running off on his own...ik it's stupid but hes a brave boy 🥺

HE SAW ZELDA?? WHAT IS GOING ON???

"there's not a rito alive capable of crossing the skies and making it up there...except you" WAHHH

this Feels like sagehood from ocarina of time, tbh. it's a little wistful and a little too big for someone so young :(

also i loooove the music playing right here holy fuck

GOD climbing these islands to get to the sky is giving me vertigo. we are SOOOO HIIIGH like it fuckin rules but it's SCARY. reminds me of the really tall section of mirrors edge

WHO TF IS SPEAKING RN? IS THAT RAURU? "COME TO ME"? WAY TO BE CREEPY DUDE

reminds me of that episode of s*pernatural. tbh. don't like it

this whole thing is so fucking cool and creepy wtf

i looove bouncing on these boats. this is so much fun wtf

i love also that the shrines are shorter in totk...i always hated to go in one in botw not knowing if it would take me 5 minutes or half an hour

korok seed. the FUCK is a korok doing all the way up here

OH it's another roblox guy, but this time i have tulin's help!!! very sick

found a shrine called rauru's blessing...what, i don't do anything? just walk up there and get my thing? maybe the challenge was getting TO the shrine

AAAUGHGHG the music changing as you get higher i am LOSING MY MIND this is SO COOL

ohhhh my god fuck at the end when you get above even the storm and everything is perfectly serene...i'm gonna DIE this is so fucking cool. i can't believe i didn't want to come here

MADE IT TO THE WIND TEMPLE THIS IS SO FUCKING COOL

ZELDA?????????????????????????????????????????

SHE JUST. KEEPS. VANISHING????

ohh my god. i need a minute. whaaaaat the HELL

[crazylittlejester]

“MOST NORMAL WARRIORS FAN” IM DYING. (I’m so normal about him :3) His game is a comfort game for me because i can just go ham on a hoard of bokoblins its great

Proxi is awesome I love her soooo much. I love how she will speak for Link in the game and call out when he needs help (because he himself won’t do it, which i think can be added to what we said earlier on how he doesn’t know how to rely on people. I’m glad Proxi has always had his back)

I hope we see them go to Wars’s era and she flies up to him to say hello!

More evidence why I think something is wrong with Warriors and he is about to snap:

He made fun of Sky’s awful stamina just a little bit ago

but got mad at Legend and Hyrule for literally doing the same thing?

I feel like he’s gotta be feeling overwhelmed and stressed with everything that’s just happened, because to me I feel like he’d normally be laughing right along with them. I wonder what happened that night Time spent with Twilight where Wars was kinda baby sitting everyone else? I hope he gets a break soon, because otherwise I feel like hes absolutely going to just loose his shit

art credit to @linkeduniverse !!

[artemistorm]

(this is a long one, folks)

Hyrule: Hey. Hey Sky. Sky. Wake up Sky. Sky wake up.

Legend (on watch): Oh no you don’t. Not your crazy middle-of-the-night random question shenanigans again. Go back to sleep.

Sky: Hrrm??

Hyrule: Leave us alone. It’ll be fine.

Legend: Famous last words. Last time I ended up with bokoblin guts all over my night shirt.

Hyrule: I swear! It’ll be fine! Don’t jinx it!

Hyrule: Sky. Sky, I have a question for you.

Sky: Uhnngg.

Hyrule: Sky? Are you actually awake?

Sky: Uh huh.

Hyrule: Ok good.

Hyrule: Okay, Sky, here’s my question. If you love birds so much and you have like this special pet bird in your Hyrule, why do eat bird meat when Wild cooks it? Isn’t that kinda weird? Cuckoos are okay to eat but loftwings aren’t? Where do you draw the line with eating birds? What if you were starving on an adventure somewhere, would you eat your own pet bird?

Sky:

Hyrule: …

Sky:

Hyrule: …Sky? You still awake?

Sky: Babbyyyyyyyy

Hyrule: ???

Sky: My babbbyyyyy

Hyrule: um…

Sky: I would never eat you… my darling baby bird… I love you sooooo much…

Legend (on watch): I don’t think he’s fully awake yet. (You shouldn’t be either.) (Go back to sleep Hyrule.)

Sky: Yes, I am, darling. I’m awake.

Legend: …is he calling you darling?

Hyrule: I think he thinks he’s talking to his pet bird.

Sky: You aren’t just myyy pet bird… you’re sooo much more than that… Loftwings can’t compare to cuckooooossss… Loftwings are soooo strong and beautiful and smart… Cuckoos are… cute and fluffy and…

Sky: And tasty.

Sky: Buuuttt I don’t like to think about that… pretend cuckoo meat is something else… like… rabbit…

Legend: LIKE RABBIT?!

Sky: Mmmmm rabbit… rabbit pie, rabbit stew, rabbit skewers…

Legend: EEEP! *covers ears*

Hyrule: ????

Sky: But do you know what I’d eaaattt if I was starving, darling?

Hyrule: Uh… what?

Sky: People aren’t like loftwings…

Hyrule: …uhh… !!!

Legend: Oh no…

Sky: Sometimes people are mean…

Sky: People don’t make sense… so many rules. So much hurrying. So much work.

Sky: I don’t like that.

Sky: Sometimes I wish people would go away…

Sky: And sometimes… they look tasty.

Sky: Especially… the others.

Hyrule: !!!!

Sky: Legend is so salty. And spicy. I bet he would taste good in pumpkin soup.

Legend: I would not!!! Take that back bird brain!!!

Sky: Twilight is soooo muscly. So meaty. Mmm. He’d make a good roast.

Sky: Warriors… I don’t know… maybe rotisserie?

Sky: Four is so small—hardly anything to eat. But if you make him do the thing where he split into four people…

Hyrule: *looks around the sleeping camp* Uhh… nobody else is listening to this are they???

Legend: You should stop talking and go back to sleep, Sky.

Sky: Silly birdie, I’m not done yet!

Sky: Can’t eat Time. Time’s too strong. Even if Time was cooked, if you bit him, he would bite back.

Sky: One thing I don’t get… if Wild is the cook, why is he sooooo skinny? Not tasty. Stringy. Yuck.

Legend: No really, Sky. You need to stop. Go back to bed flyboy.

Sky: I wouldn’t eat Wind. I don’t like eating children. Not a nice thing to do.

Sky: But my precious darling baby bird, do you know what is better than meat?

Hyrule: *sweats*

Sky: Mushrooms

Hyrule: *breathes a sigh of relief*

Sky: Hyrule… eats sooo many mushrooms… probably tastes like a mushroom.

Hyrule: !!!!!

Legend: *laughs hysterically*

Sky: So delicious. Put mushroom Hyrule in the pumpkin soup with Legend. Mmmm sooooo tasty. Don’t you think?

Hyrule: *is slightly terrified* umm… no?? Don’t eat us please??!?

Sky: Aww don’t be silly, precious darling. *ruffles Hyrule’s hair* Who’s the kindest bestest loftwing of them all? That’s right! You are!

Legend: *smacks Sky’s hand away* Go. To. Sleep.

Sky: *yawns* You’re right, darling baby. Sleepytime.

Legend: Please stop calling me that. It’s so weird.

Sky: Nighty night, darling!

Legend: Whatever. Crazy bird brained flyboy.

Hyrule: *shaking, staring into the distance*

Legend: Hey. You alright?

Hyrule: If Sky were starving he’d... eat us?

Hyrule: I’ll never look at him the same way again.

[bokettochild]

Legendary Cousins

So... I promised @peachy-scars that I would write them this a while back when they posted this, and after consulting y’all (I think it was @attllhak and several anons who helped the most) I finally had enough to just go ham and write this beautiful piece of garbage.

Hope you like it, Peaches!

 They had landed in a new Hyrule, and Legend’s instant reaction was to blink and stare about with a conflicted expression on his face while the others had stared in confusion at their surroundings.

 “Why’s this look so weird?” Wind demanded eloquently as he pulled himself out from beneath a giggling Hyrule, who always laughed nervously when they landed in a new Hyrule and seemed particularly giddy today.

 “Wind, manners.” Time chided softly, pulling himself back up and working with Wild to pull his protégé back up, Twilight looking around dizzily as he leaned on his mentor for balance. “You don’t know whose home this might be.”

 “I do.” Legend hissed softly, hooded eyes staring towards a nearby path while a slight smile touched his lips. “New Hero everyone.”

 Glances were exchanged before shooting to the vet in confusion. “How...”

 “You knew there were more heroes?” Warriors sputtered, staring at the vet in surprise while the hero in question pulled himself to his feet and shook out his limbs, knuckles crackling painfully and making the others wince.

 “Time travel mixed with world hopping and the occasional visit to other countries.” Legend answered in a low voice, stretching towards the sky and standing on the tips of his toes (eyes turned away as the vet’s already short tunic rode higher). “I’ve met plenty of other heroes. Five- maybe six? Not sure.” He shrugged, arms falling back to his sides as he moved further into the forest. “Come along, if we want to check up on things we’d best get headed to the castle. Monsters out here are brutal, even if they are bloody crazy.”

 Glances were exchanged again, Wind’s wide eyes growing wider as he mouthed the words ‘six other heroes’ to his brothers.

 “Who met Legend before all this went down?” The captain hissed, pulling Four up onto his back. “Because it sure as heck wasn’t me.”

 No one answered, and they didn’t have much of a chance to as the Vet’s voice broke through the forest, a harsh hiss for them to hurry. “You stay there all day the ‘blins’ll eat you!”

 Eight heroes pulled themselves along, following after as Legend trailed silently through the forest.

 Each stumble or loud noise earned a glare from the vet, and if it didn’t come from them, it made him freeze, steps stopping immediately as his ears would prick towards the sound. More than once, Twilight or Sky had to muffle a laugh in their respective wraps as the image of a bunny starting to alert entered their minds.

 Maybe it’s the laughter. Maybe it’s just their dang Hero of Courage luck, or maybe it’s just because Hylia thinks it funny, but even with all Legend’s glaring and stopping and sneaking, they are attacked just as they reach the edge of the forest.

 The monsters are... horrifying. Nothing most of them have ever even seen, and the only thing they can do as they fight is to take the vet’s advice. “Aim for the eyes! And if you can’t reach them, the ankles!” The vet shouts as he kicks into a spin attack. The other heroes follow suit, ripping into the beasts as Wild pulls back from the group, setting off volleys of arrows as best he can do by himself, and successfully blinding a few of the monsters.

 They’re thick into the song of battle when an unknown voice rings out. “Good golly! Hang on there, sirs!”

 It’s hard to see past the swarms of monsters (seriously, they’ve never been this thick!) but blonde hair and a swinging sword assure them that whomever it is, is likely the hero Legend had told them about. Enemies fall as bombs explode and various weapons pierce through hearts and heads.  

 Once the dust has cleared, they take careful stock of their injuries and weapons (Wild’s shattered another sword and Four is sighing wearily) before turning their attention to their unexpected help.

 Legend and the other hero stand over a dead bokoblin, shaking hands in a friendly manner while the one chatters to the other, the vet smiling thinly but genuinely as he listens.

 “Vet, who’s this?”

 “Ah! You have friends!” A bright smile is turned their way as the swordsman releases Legend’s hand. “Greetings! I’m Link.”

 “The Hero of Koridai.” Legend adds on, rolling his eyes.

 “Aw, come on, Other-Link!” The newcomer grins, jabbing Legend playfully in the side and effectively stealing his breath. “I’m just Link is all.”

 “That’s all of their names too.” Legend wheezes, glaring up at the other.

 The chain of heroes takes in the newcomer, who, much to the captain’s dismay, seems to share Legend’s opinion of pants, as well as a preference for pegasus boots. Bright brown eyes stare back at them, a dopey grin on the hero’s face, but beneath the welcoming grin there's a glint of something sharp and dangerous that has Warriors shuffling back warily.

 “What adventure is this? Finish meeting up with your lovely cousins?”

 The vet huffs a breath, clearing his throat as he straightens up again. “Thereabouts, this’ll be adventure seven.”

 “Ooh, seven. Ouch.” Bright brown turn towards the vet with a sympathetic wince. “Sorry about that.”

 “You had your own quests.” Legend dismisses, as if his words don’t confuse the others. “How’s Zelly by the way? We haven’t heard from her.”

 Link, for lack of a better current name, smiles cheerily. “Half a minute yet there.” Turning to the others he offers yet another impossibly wide smile, it’s very nearly uncomfortable to look at, and Legend is the only one who seems unaffected by doing so (he has seen far, far worse from this world). “We should skedaddle over to the castle.” A halting motion is made towards the castle just in front of them as the newest hero laughs nervously. “As long as you’re there, you won’t be attacked.”

 And for lack of anything else to do, they agree, following after as Legend and the new Link chat in the front, Legend with an amount of patience that has never in their memory presented itself and the new Link with an almost irritating amount of pep and cheer. “Zelly’s doing great, and we’re hoping to visit all of you soon too! Or, we were, but the monsters started getting real bad an’ Zel figured we’d better stay behind to make sure they didn’t cause too much trouble.”

 “How bad?” The vet’s brows quirk with concern and Warriors nearly stumbles at the gentle expression on Legend’s face.

 “Just a bit stronger.” The new Link shrugs, but smiles brightly up at Legend. “It’s not as bad as last time though, so don’t worry your pink head about it.”

 And Legend... Legend actually laughs, reaching up to tug the cap of the other Link as they cross into the shadow of Hyrule Castle’s walls.  

 “What the-” Warriors is cut off with a blaring ‘Beep!’ from Wind, who looks up at him cheekily when the captain looks down at him.

 “Censoring.” Wind chirrups.

 ”Soooo...” Twilight drawls, a smile pulling at his features as he looks between the duo, the heroes all relaxing as they enter the castle gates. “How do you two know each other?”

 “We’re cousins!” Link chirrups happily, shooting another smile over his shoulder that’s just a bit too wide and a bit too sharp.”

 “Third Cousins or...” Legend waves his hand vaguely. “Somethin’. Their father is my second cousin or some sort of thing, it’s unclear honestly, all we know is that Zelda is my cousin somewhere down the line and with those two dating-” The other Link flushes at the statement, face as dopey as Sky’s gets. “He’s bound to be thrown in there somewhere too.”

 “Wait!” Four looks from one of the cousins to the other (there is a bit of resemblance, uncannily enough, even though Link smiles far more than Legend). “Whose time is this?”

 The two share a look, nodding firmly before turning to the others and speaking together. “Both.”

 “Two heroes? In one time?” Time cocks a brow.

 Legend throws his hands up. “You can talk to Hylia about that!”

 “Oh!” Link’s grin widens further as he bounces in place. “And how is Aunt Hylia? Golly, I haven’t seen her in ages!”

 “Aunt Hylia...” Sky blinks slowly.

 The vet huffs. “Fine. She’s letting Fable back into the fighting ring this weekend, figured since the Master didn’t mess things up that it’d be okay to let Hylians head back out there. Hide the evidence if they send me an invite, yeah?”

 “Will do!” Comes the chipper reply, but the other heroes aren’t done.

 “Wait, wait, wait, how many heroes are there in this time?” Warriors looks from one to the other with panic building in his gaze.

 Link frowns in what seems an over-the-top expression of thought. “Do the colors count?”  

 Four chokes.

 Legend flushes. “They count.” His voice is strained and nearly wheezing as swirling hazel stares a hole in his head.

 “And then there’s the Hytopian wannabe, who might very well actually be one.” Link continues. “And the two of us. Does Great-Grandfather Raven count?”

 “Not in this time, he just traveled here briefly when Nayru became corrupted.” Legend drawls with a head tilt, as if talking about meeting your ancestors and de-corrupting a goddess was normal for this world, and with the way Link just nods along, they are all beginning to worry that that is the norm here.

 “Right, so five heroes.” Link nods slowly. “And then we have great-gramps Raven, and whoever- wait.” The new Link’s eyes fly wide open as he motions to Time. “Isn’t that Great-Gramps?”

 Legend and Time both splutter as the vet hurries to correct the other hero. “No! He’s...” Legend looks from the startled Time to his cousin. “That’s the Hero of Time.” He whispers gravely, and Link’s eyes blow even wider as he looks to Time, who winces. They’ve all heard of what happened to the Hero of Time in this world.

 “Oh!” Link breathes, before another smile stretches over his face. “Great-Great-Gramma Lon’s husband!”

 Legend just facepalms while Time stands with his mouth flapping and fingers twitching, the old man now trying to calculate exactly how many children are now officially his while Warriors proceeded to have all the color drain out of his face.

 “How are there two heroes of Courage here!!!!” The Captain hisses, and Link and Legend both look at each other. “And for the love of Hylia! Stop looking at each other all the time, what, can you read minds?!?!”

 And both stare at the captain with the deadest of dead expressions, which actually makes Link all the more unnerving and Legend all the more intimidating. “Yes.”

 It takes a while, but once they meet Zelda, she takes the time to explain.

 “Our fathers are cousins.” She says, smiling at the heroes as they all sit and have lunch in the courtyard, motioning to Legend as she speaks. The vet is currently pulling his hat back off of his face after having it tugged down in vengeance for earlier. “Once both had married into the royal family, there was contention in the kingdom so Auntie Hylia sent Mapa and Papa out here to take care of this part of the kingdom while she handled things in central Hyrule.

 “Most folks call Papa a king because they forget that it’s one country, but what with the high borders and all, it may as well be its own country.” She shrugs as she pops another piece of food in her mouth. “And there aren’t two Courage Wielders, technically. I mean, there are, but Link isn’t one of them.” She smiles in a sly sort of way, too wide, too knowing, too creepy for many of the heroes to be comfortable. “He just happens to care a lot and does what he can.”

 “Oh yeah,” Hyrule nods knowingly, chewing slowly on his own meal. “My brother is like that too.”

 The others, even Legend and Link, turn to Hyrule in shock. “Your what???”

[mckittyarts]

HEY GUYS sorry for the long silence! this thing took a while but im so glad to finally have these gals to show everyone!! but yeah, just like the Links i did a little while ago, these gals are my interpretations of all the Zeldas over the years! because my gals needs some love too baybe!!!

as usual, nicknames and headcanons under the cut!

Harp (Ocarina of Time/Majora’s Mask): - post-ocarina so basically she’s in the adult timeline but seven years older than she were when we last saw her at the end of oot - big mom friend,,,,,,,,,,,, tall and Motherly will adopt every child - she can and will slice a bitch if she needs to dont cross her - her scars were from the 7 years where she hid as Sheik while Time took himself a nice little nap - after sending Time back to his childhood she’s just been working to rebuild her kingdom and is now Queen - like i said on the Links one, headcanon that she’s Time’s twin sister - nothing much to say about her design it’s pretty much the same asdfghj

Plume (Skyward Sword): - still rowdy. still bapey - can and will push you off a cliff - really loves her animals and insists her remlit’s a sweetheart despite what Sky may tell her - really sweet and understanding about Sky and his napping but will still Suplex A Bitch if he’s being an ass - after what happened in skyward sword she’s in the lead of getting the settlement on the surface up and running - changed her outfit a bit to one more inspired by one of her concept designs but it’s kinda hard to see anything but a white shirt in this image asdfghj - a few scrapes and scratches from tumbling around on the surface, nothing too serious though

Dawn (Twilight Princess): - Stoic and Quiet - i’ve had Twi for five minutes, but if anything were to happen to him i would kill everyone in this room and then myself - cares a whole lot about her kingdom and will do just about anything for her people- has been working to rebuild her kingdom too but like there isn’t much to fix anyway so i guess she gets off easy - again, same design as usual aaaaand no real noteworthy scars she’s smart enough not to get killed unlike everyone else

Hope (Breath of the Wild): - NERD ALERT - spends most of her time documenting and rambling - what do you mean shes gotta rule her country she’s found a cool frog she’s gotta take pictures of!!!! - can actually remember her friends and misses them a whole lot :( - HOO GIRL YOU’VE GOT......... A WHOLE LOT TO REBUILD..... WHEW - kept her design mostly as is and gave her the green eyes because nINTENDO ARE SO INCONSISTENT WITH HER EYE COLOUR IS2G - got in a few scrapes after sAVING WILD’S DYING ASS so that’s where the scars are from

Rapier (Hyrule Warriors): - the cool but wildly irresponsible mom - *gives a whole sword to small child* hell yeah kid go fuck those bitches up - also filthy rich even compared to the other Zeldas like look at that ridiculous amount of gold and silver armour it’s not even gonna protect her dumb ass - can absolutely destroy you if she chooses to do so - has a lot of scars because sOMEONE doesn’t know how to gear up properly - knows sign language so that she can communicate with Her Boy 

Canvas (A Link Between Worlds): - the biggest sweetheart you’ll ever meet...... like oh my god bapey............ - Big Fan Of Art - has a whole museum of paintings in her castle - is 100% convinced that Albi is Deceased :( spent a lot of resources to find him but kinda gave up on it after a year or two  - the lighter patch on her face is the ‘splash’ mark from being turned into a painting which also caused the color in her eyes to change - she actually used to have green eyes

Pebble (The Minish Cap): - OOOO BABEY.......... TODDLER - still really close to Minish they always hang out - Dramatic Little Shit - absolutely a sheltered kid there’s no way Daltus didn’t get a million times more protective of her after she got pETRIFIED??? - despite being completely baby she still manages to be taller than her Link lmao eat shit Minish - the feathers are supposed to resemble Picori feathers, no idea if they are real or not

Ghost (Spirit Tracks): - FUCKING DIES ASDFGHGFGHJ - super energetic and sweet - got all of Tetras attitude but none of the smarts. absolute Buffoon - might be out of mortal danger but still gets in trouble all the damn time - barely has any scars because ghosts don’t get injuries but she does have a big burn/lightning like scar on her chest/stomach from having her sOUL RIPPED OUT OF HER BODY - redesigned the dress a bit so she’d look different from Pebble - also the ribbon in her hair is supposed to be a Tetra’s old bandana!! she got it as a gift from her when she was still Very Small

Tetra (The Wind Waker): - Fuck Yeah Pirate Time - completely Rowdy. Will Stab a Bitch - is more like a robin hood type of outlaw she only steals from Corrupt Rich Asshats like a good pirate should - swears WAY too much. Horrible Influence on Children - is missing like half on her left leg, probably lost it to like a gyorg or some shit - scars are from various battles with other pirates, bokoblins, birds, etc. - busy finding a New Continent

Crystal (A Link To The Past): - tired............... needs a break - Just Wants Link To Stop Dying And Come Back Here For Once!!!!!!! dumbass - real quiet but real calculated - Reads Minds and Talks Inside Peoples Heads - real fond of gardening her own herbs and vegetables  -listen i KNOW they’re like her pajamas or some shit but the blue dress just suits her better!!!! also Canvas doesn’t have any alternate costumes soooo

Ribbon (The Legend of Zelda): - ROUND!!!! CHUMBY!!!!!!!!!! - very sweet and very bubbly - will absolutely hug you to death and there’s nothing you can do about it - rebuilt an entire kingdom because uhh that thing kinda fell apart a couple hundred years after ALBW - doesn’t have any scars because she just kinda sat around while Ganon and Link were having a bit of an argument - i changed her dress to be green because of her in game sprite

Dreamer (The Adventure of Link): - HEY GUYS DID YOU KNOW THAT CLASSIC SAVES TWO ZELDAS??? BECAUSE I DIDN’T REALIZE UNTIL NOW - THIS BITCH CAME BEFORE PEBBLE.......... SHE SLEPT FOR /THOUSANDS/ OF YEARS STRAIGHT - is Very confused, doesn’t know what the hell is going on 99% of the time - absolute grandma, doesn’t understand any of this newfangled technology - just real sweet but also completely disoriented - i guess she just kinda helps Ribbon figure out how to get all the old rules and traditions back in place, just a complete big sister for her

[galladeblades]

BotW Log/Assorted Thoughts #10 Koroks, Horses & Death to all Lynels.

Spoiler Warning for Korok Forest. Just puttin’ that out there in case anyone wanted to avoid that minor plot point. Oh, and I do rattle on a bit about the end of Skyward Sword, so spoiler warnings for that as well!

Another warning; this is entirely aimless wandering. Stupid stuff still happened though. I’ve also been trying to associate areas with their correct names to avoid stupid descriptions like, “Uhhh theres this thing and this one enemy kind of down from this one other area idk”. So hopefully this won’t be too painful to go through. There are plenty of pictures too. Quality sucks but eh. I tried.

For some reason, after every heavy moment/scene/event, I always end up going back to the Great Plateau. Something about it seems so peaceful and serene. In a way, it sort of feels like home. It’s practically a giant sandbox or a playground. Coming back with stronger Gear and Weapons, it certainly does anyway. Nothing is really gonna kill you.

At least that is what I had thought. I had gone wandering through the woods after taking down the Stone Talus with ease and decided to go harass the Bokoblin camp at Hopper Pond. But surprisingly, there was a Silver Bokoblin in the mix. I have not seen one of those before, but standard video game recolor logic states that it must just be a bit stronger than the standard variation.

A little bit is an understatement. Woooow that thing had so much health. Granted, I was using up some weak-ish weapons that were at like 30 power, but still. At least it dropped a bunch of stuff. 

Even jumping off the Plateau and coming across enemies, recolored enemies were more frequently showing up. It’s kinda nice having the difficulty ramp up along with the game progression!

With that little warm up out of the way, time to move onto the next task. Get to the Korok Forest and have Hestu upgrade some inventory slots.

During my Death Mountain exploration, before moving onto the Divine Beast Quest, I did go off the mountain a few times. One of those times involved activating the Woodland Tower. And a few nearby shrines. Warped over to that area and it was a straight shot to the forest.

Admittedly, the Lost Woods puzzle did stump me. I had saw the beacons and followed them, but when there were the two beacons and the rest of the forest with no visual guidance. That’s what got me. 

I had noticed the torch lying right next to one of the beacons and figured fire must be a clue/answer. However, my inventory was full and could not pick up the torch, so I just brought out the Great Flameblade.

lmaooo a huge flaming sword will not help you through the forest you dummy

After getting sent back to the same area multiple times, I had sacrificed a weapon to drop in place of the torch. That worked out soooo much better. The solution was to simply follow the wind and the trailing embers off the torch makes this much easier to follow.

Fiiiiiiiiiii... ; _ ;

okay listen i unironically love fi. i could go on a whole 5 page long ramble about how much i love her, but this is not the time or place for that. but I will say she was one of the many reasons why i was excited for this game. this is the first [main series] game to come after skyward sword [aside from the non canonical hyrule warriors], so I was immensely curious to see how Fi would be handled. 

Her spirit was sealed away into the blade at the end of Skyward, supposedly in an eternal slumber, but based off a few memories, it seems like she can still somewhat communicate to both zelda and link. i’m so glad that she’s still somewhat conscious!

The Koroks had all be pushing for a sword pull, but I was kinda scared too. I had heard that a certain heart requirement was needed and I wasn’t sure if I had met that. So instead, I took this selfie and did everything else first.

Everything else included doing all the Korok Trials/shrines.

At this point, I had seen about 160 Koroks and was getting a bit annoyed at hearing their sound clips over and over and over and over again. Which led to getting with them personally. But that had immediately flipped when talking to a few in this area. The inn keeper was especially heartwarming. 

>How much is it [to sleep]. “No no. Please don’t spend your rupees. I had prepared this especially for you Mr. Hero! You must be exhausted from your journeys.” 

kljhsafsdf okay Koroks are the cutest i regret ever being mad at them

.....................

that thought lasted for about 10 minutes.

one of the Korok trials involved shadowing a Korok, Oaki. He was heading off to the Shrine, but wanted to go by himself as a test of bravery or something. But his friend didn’t have faith and wanted Link to follow him anyway, just to make sure nothing bad happens.

i hate

UGHHHHH. First thoughts. Okay, stealth mission. My specialty. 

So far so good.

Hmmm

This is taking forever. 

“Halfway there!” ??? are you kidding me it took like 10 minutes to get here

how the hell did you see me

of course we have to start over from the very beginning.

God. Oaki walks e x t r e m e l y  slow. He’s small and blends in with the grass and there’s fog and it’s dark. basically this mission sucks and I had to redo it several times. Either he saw me wayyy up high in a tree somehow or I lost track of him and ended up walking into him trying to catch up. 

One loss was complete bs/salt inducing. We finally had the Shrine in our field of view. Oaki ran ahead to get to that area. I wasn’t sure if there would be one last fake out and he’d turn around and catch me at the end. So I climbed up a tree to stay up high & hidden and use it as a vantage point. Game said “Oh, you almost finished the quest? Nope. Not allowed. Back to start with you.” and booted me back to the beginning. Apparently that tree was too off the path and the fog didn’t appreciate it. S I G H...........

Eventually figured out that using the Stasis rune acts as psuedo nightvision and made it sooooooo much easier to keep track of the little Korok.

Second trial was simple puzzle/riddle solving. Third I guess was supposed to be challenging in concept. That was the one that had you only equip the Korok/Forest weapons. If they break or you switch out, you have to start over. 

Because I knew how fragile these wooden weapons are, I elected to not do any fighting and just blitzed right through the entire course. Popped a triple up Hasty Elixir and Sonic the Hedgehog’d my way to that shrine. Enemies couldn’t do a thing. The only problem with this was having to slow down for that bog. Didn’t know that was there and ran right into it. Luckily, my potion still had some time left on it and went running down the course again. Cleared it this time

Last ‘trial’ was from a lazy Korok at the top of the Great Deku Tree and just wanted to see a bunch of items. Luckily for me and my hoarding tenancies, I had all the necessary items on hand. Which is really freaking great, ‘cause imagining having to climb down, go out and find the item needed and having to climb all the way back up sounds like such a pain. Yeash.

Warped out. Turned in the extra Shrine Orbs for more health. Time to attempt to draw the Master Sword.

Reunited with an old friend. Fiiiiiiiii

Also, I must say. The Great Deku Tree’s voice is freaking great. Totally carried the atmosphere and mood perfectly.

Task completed; Upgraded inventory slots. And got the Master Sword. That’s also a nice bonus.

Still don’t feel like going off to do a Divine Beast Quest, so more world exploring!

But do not go to Mekar Island. It’s a trap. I got curious ‘cause it wasn’t accessible from the woods and spent time running along side the river to fly to that island. No. There’s just a bunch of Stal monsters waiting to ambush you. There’s no treasure, Korok seed, Shrine. Nothing. It’s just a death pit. Don’t waste your time going there.

um i wanted to share these but can’t quite find a good way to flow these into each other so i’m just gonna awkwardly dump these

same

Yeah, I’ll get right on that as soon as you become a productive member of society.

this is a sidequest person who wants to see the master sword. she’s in love with the hero and needs to see that sword to prove that it’s him, then gets disappointed when she finally meets him and then starts saying this. link is doing his best okay.

I took this a loooong time ago back when I first reached Akkala, but forgot to upload the screenshot to my miiverse album. It still looks good imo. when your horse matches your outfit. Nice.

....I have no recollection of taking this and have no idea why it was in the sheikah slate album. Apparently this happened in West Necluda. It looks alright I guess.

Went exploring in the Faron region. Wanted to explore more of “that area with tons of chests in the water”. Took my horse and I always feel bad about leaving it behind. I love climbing up cliffs and other places and the horse can’t follow. But Kass was still playing away, so he got to be a horse baby sitter.

I had also gone wandering around Lake Hylia. Started up from one of the Dueling Peaks shrines and glided down to an explored area. Lake Hylia is pretty huge so it took quite a bit of time to walk along the perimeter. But it appears that Farosh really really likes Lake Hylia. Almost as much as Floria River, which is where I had first encountered it. And spent much time chasing after it.  

Anyway, it dipped in and out of the water a few times and circled around the lake, barely above its surface. Then it opened up The Void™ and flew into it [pictured above],really far up in the sky. Okay, maybe it’s just going up into the stratosphere, like Rayquaza. That’s a nice little detail.

No. 

That is a portal. About an in-game hour later, it popped right up out of the lake and circled around it again, just like before. Then went back into the sky again. 

I don’t understand these dragons.

Now onto this emotional roller coaster; going around Faron Grasslands.

“lmao what. how can such an empty area cause something like that?”

Alright, stay with me. This is going to take a bit of set up. Here’s a bit of a timeline of how things went. 

>Went to the Great Plateau

>Warped to the Woodland area and proceeded to the Korok Village.

>Aimless wandering. Went from Dueling Peaks-to-Lake Hylia first. Followed a trail from the Lake to the Faron Woods and got lost in there. 

>Got out of the Woods and followed a path to the Highlands Stable.

That’s where this story begins

I had noticed on the map there was a location called “Lake of the Horse God”. Uh, alright, let’s go see what that’s all about. My horse is with me already so it’d be fitting to go over there right now.

Oh, it’s a fairy fountain. Aw, a nice fairy helps watch over the horses, how nice. I wonder if she’s gonna be wearing a horse hat, like how the Level 3 Great Fairy weapon in Hyrule Warriors wears a Loftwing hat.

If only.... If only..

who thought this was okay

why

why is she like this.

this is far more scary than any of the ganon blights or any monster i’ve faced up to this point.

But what?? Horses can DIE?! holy shit I didn’t even think about that. the only damage that my horses have taken was one getting in the way of a Guardian blast. 

On the way up to the Research Tower in Akkala and forgot about the busted Guardian right out side the entrance. I tried to jump off to fight, but didn’t get my shield out in time so the horse just walked in front of the blast and tanked the hit for me. It ran out of the way after that, but man that situation seems so much scary now that I know it could have possibly DIED from that.. 

the music that plays is pretty nice. epona’s song on top of the fairy fountain music. nice

Anyway. Learning that horses can die is a crucial part to this story. Moving on.

Went back to the Highlands Stable and put my horse away, because noooo do not want this horse to die. Went exploring east to try getting to the Taobab Grasslands. While in the Faron Woods, a trail walking NPC had said there was a rumor about a giant horse located in that area, so that horse in question was probably the Ganon horse. Which it was.

Slowly made my way to that area, exploring everything along the way. Found a Lynel with a club. Tried to fight it. NO FEAR.

...........

It ended up kicking my butt and it wasn’t taking that much damage so I ended up running away. Didn’t really want to spend too much time fighting. Sigh, Gonna regret that later. Sort of.

Cleared the nearby shrine and hopped up to Mount Falorra. Spotted the special horse and flew down to approach. There were so many horses in this Grassland area. I dropped a few apples to try distracting a few away from the big horse. It worked and it easily got tamed.

Now that it’s ride-able, the next step was to get it over to a Stable for registration. Ha...Haha...

We ran into a Lynel. Not the same one from before. This one had a Spear. There were two Lynels on this same strip of land. The Ganon horse can’t dash, so this Lynel fired off Shock arrows and fucking killed this horse.

Yes. It freaking died.

I WAS SO UPSET 

THIS STUPID LYNEL WOULD LET US THROUGH. THIS HORSE COULDN’T DASH AND HE DIED. 

aaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAhhhhh......... TT_TT

It wasn’t registered under my name so I didn’t think that Horse God could help it, since it was technically still wild. I was devastated that it might never come back.

It’s strange but I genuinely started getting teary eyed. This beautiful horse. Gone. Because of a stupid enemy. Even if we got passed this first one, there was still that first one I ignored before to get through.

I warped back to the Zora’s Domain to go mope. While waiting on the loading screen, I had a thought. If enemies and resources respawn during a Blood Moon, would the horse come back as well? It’s technically wild and a resource, so the Blood Moon magic should work, right? 

The one time where you actually looked forward to a Blood Moon. I had no idea when the next one would happen, so I sat around Zora’s Domain, watching the Zoras go to bed. It’s really cute watching them hop into the water, settle down and just knock out. 

Anyway, besides being a creep, I had also been staring at the map, coming up with a plan of action to better approach this situation. Here’s a visualization, courtesy of this site.

Pretty clear what needs to be done, Kill the Lynels. Bring the horse safely to the Stables by following the path. 

Despite this unfortunate situation, Ganon is either taking pity on the loss of his horse descendant or relishing in my anguish, ‘cause he brought up a blood moon that very same night.

Good. Time to see if my theory was correct. 

First, by starting off with killing the Lynel on Shatterback Mountain. Call me dramatic, but holy fuck watching that horse die was traumatic and I fucking hate Lynels now. It is now my mission to kill every single one of them. I will try to make Hyrule Lynel free. That is a new personal mission. Once more of the map gets revealed and all their locations get marked, I’ll go ahead and take them all down before a Blood Moon.

No playing around. The Champion Tunic is on, along with other defensive/attack boosting Gear. Savage Lynel Bow out for the triple arrows for cheap stuns. 

Took that one on the Mountain down nice and easy. No damage taken. Good warm up for the other two. Onto the Grasslands.

Struggled to take down the one with the club, but that one eventually fell and the other one with the spear was somewhat easy to take down. That one likes to jump and slam the spear into the ground and if it misses, you can freely get a few hits in. 

Finally. Finally this area is enemy free. It’s a free ride straight to the Stables.

And here he is! A big, tall, strong horse! Kinda sad you can’t change its mane or saddle. But I love it. Kind of ironic that the Ganon horse, who died, rose again due to a spike in Ganon’s power. Very fitting.

Annnd that’s it. I am emotionally spent. This game caused me to go through the 7 stages of grief. I am done and need a small break. Just let me ride this horse without worrying for its life.

[aurimeanswind]

Quick Thoughts: Switch & Breath of the Wild

Editor’s Note: the first half of this was written early in the evening with just hands on time setting up and playing around with the Switch. The second half was written later after time with Zelda.

So I got my Switch a day early today. The graceful lords over at Amazon Were kind enough to bestow it upon me just a full day ahead of schedule. I got to get some hands on with it, just pretty much set it up before work but of course I had to run off to work and will be seeing Logan, so by the time this posts I will probably have already done a stream and played around with it. I thought it'd be fun to just give my first raw impressions of it, and then add on a bit after I've played some stuff on it.

First thoughts: wow, this is some good hardware. It was like the first time I felt the Dualshock 4 or had the PS4 added to my set up. Right out of the gate, it just felt like some excellently made first generation hardware. The only thing that surprised me or threw me off were how small the analogous sticks were on the Joycon. Aside from that, it was all excellent.

One of the first things I needed to know for myself was: how is the Joycon Grip. I am not lucky enough to have gotten a pro controller, so I needed to know if my primary means of play was going to be good enough. It was actually a lot better than I thought. I have medium-to-large sized hands, so it was a comfortable middle ground for me. Not too narrow. Not too odd either. I haven't played any games with it yet, but I'm excited to, which is more than I could have said before.

I also love the interface. As a console, navigation is slick and easy to understand, with really great visuals to go with it. I wasn't surprised; this stuff has been online for weeks, but the tactile response of it all was just great. It's the first time I think I have ever felt “great” about a Nintendo interface.

Some time later...

Okay, so I’ve spent a little under four hours playing on my Switch, primarily in TV mode, with The Legend of Zelda Breath of the Wild. When I was playing I thought of essentially the perfect way I would want to start my eventual review of Breath of the Wild, talking about all the importance of the series, the fanboyism, etc, etc. I don’t want to give that away here, since I think it’s pretty good, but I’ll just establish this out of the gate: I am a massive fan of Zelda. A Link to the Past and A Link Between Worlds are some of my favorites, with Majora’s Mask representing probably my favorite 3D Zelda game. It’s the Dark Horse answer, I know, but it was the first 3D Zelda, having gone back and played through all of them again recently, that really broke the format. (note: to be fair, it was the second 3D Zelda just in general)

Suffice to say, Breath of the Wild has completely changed everything.

There are the two halves of me; the one that loves Zelda and the kinds of innovations it brings to video games, and has brought to games in the past, mixing with the critic in me that doesn’t want to get too carried away too quickly. There isn’t a Zelda game that I dislike, even Zelda II, but I try and approach everything from a critical standpoint. I am going to discuss Zelda in some pretty blanket terms, as I’ve read quite a few reviews from some of my favored writers, and I want to actually talk about the game. I will keep this as spoiler free as I can, of course, but bear in mind everything I have seen has been from absolutely only the first area, and I know a great many things about the format beyond that that I won’t even discuss here.

So I just wrapped on The Great Plateau, which for those who don’t know is the starting area. Link awakens from some resurrection chamber, is sprung into the world, and that’s it. You meet a mysterious old man who starts giving you tips, and complete a few things on the plateau, and then it’s off to the open world.

Some things about this that I didn’t expect: it can really be as guided or not as you want. I spent a lot of time talking to the Old Man, and he serves as a sort of optional tutorial, but not on trivial things like how to Z-Target, shit we’ve known for almost two decades of video games thanks to Zelda, but system stuff, like lighting fires, cutting down trees to make bridges or gather materials (things that have never been in Zelda games before) and most importantly, COOKING. I could imagine totally missing this, but I poked around in the Old Man’s house, which didn’t occur, mind you, until I had been running around the Plateau for over an hour fucking up Bokoblin camps, and discovered his diary. In his diary he wrote about cooking up some meal that made him warmer, so he wouldn’t need some old clothing he used to have that kept him warm in the colder areas of the plateau. He ends up forgetting the last ingredient, only remembering two of the three parts to it, and upon inspection, the Old Man can give you a full cooking instruction. But only because I probed around a bit!

Past this, you can find the Old Man getting up to a ton of shenanigans through the world. He was hunting boar, cutting down trees, gazing from a mountain top, and by talking to him in these instances, he’d give me different contextual hints. I knew going into this cooking and heat-control were important mechanics, so I spent the next hour or so trying to find this damn missing ingredient. Mind you, it was very obvious, I just forgot one important clue, but upon experimenting and recreating his recipe, I was joyous! I did it! And I got the warm doublet as a reward, meaning I could venture into the cold peak of the plateau without the need for warming food. Awesome!

This wasn’t some formal sidequest added to a questlog (though there is a quest log for the first time[?] in a Zelda game), it was just something I decided to make my goal. And I dicked around a ton in this one area alone. Fighting monsters. Dying a handful of times. Just experimenting, finding treasure. It was genuinely adventurous and fun. It may be preemptive to say, but it’s the most wonderous feeling a game has gotten out of me in a while.

Horizon, the other game I’ve been primarily playing this week, is very different. I’ve been enjoying the combat in that game the most. Fighting stuff and learning their weaknesses has been massively rewarding. This? This feels like an adventure. It feels lighthearted but challenging in a way that that game doesn’t bring out of me. Two different things that I am enjoying a great deal, but this just immediately has me much more. Part of that may be the Zelda name, but really it’s the quiet, wide wonderment. I don’t want to make some uncouth comparison of the two too early, since they are soooo different, but I’m already thinking in my head what one is doing and the other isn’t. But enough about that.

The goal of this starting area that the Old Man gives you is to find the treasure in the four shrines on the plateau. Each has an item that it gives you, totally to four, which represents, from what I understand, your complete arsenal for the whole game. That’s kind of nuts. They’re cool tools though, kind of a reimagining of items from past Zelda games (both 2D and 3D) with wholly new concepts thrown on top.

Now I decided to pop this bad boy out of the dock and play one of the shrines in handheld mode and whooooooa boy. That was magical. I legit, out loud, to no one said, ‘holy shit this is amazing,’ just at the marvel of holding this massive game I had on my TV in my hand. I have toted that I will probably not play the Switch very much in handheld mode, and this is true, I have a lot of trouble getting comfortable playing handheld games. It’s just my whole life. I love my Vita to death, and I play it way more on planes than my 3DS, even if it is half-broken, but I just get super uncomfortable with it. This feels sturdy and hefty in a way that I want to lug it into my bed and curl up with it like I did with my Vita and the very first Danganronpa. The mere idea of Breath of the Wild anywhere I go, and past that other major Nintendo games (Mario Odyssey, Fire Emblem in a glorious console form) has me stoked. Again, I probably won’t use it that much, but the magic of taking it out and putting it right back on my TV again was genuinely impressive.

Okay, this is longer than I’d hoped it would be, but the only other thing I wanted to mention is minorly story related. I won’t spoil it, but I understand if you want to avert your eyes. After finishing the Plateau, a task that could easily take an hour and a half, which I turned into almost four (thanks to dicking around), you’re treated with the first fully-voiced cutscene of the game, which was great, but like... They laid out a whole lot more right away than I was expecting. You need the paraglider you get after the scene to get off the plateau, so it is a mandatory scene, unlike just about everything else in the game, but I was taken aback by how the world, who you were, and what happened was generally explained. I mean, there are still a ton of lingering questions in my head, don’t get me wrong, but now I’m filled with all of this story info that I HAD NO IDEA ABOUT just a few short hours into the game. You know a pretty good deal right off the bat, so I’m impressed this stuff hasn’t crept out there. It was more of a what happened, but not a how it happened, if that makes sense? I’m very curious to see the arc of this game.

Well anyway, I have today (Friday) off, so I’m just gonna forgo sleep and lose myself to Hyrule. I am really, really enjoying my time with this game. Playing it in TV mode, I will say there have been a great deal of framerate drops. Nothing major, no full stops, but it happens. It’s noticeable. Doesn’t really bother me, because it hasn’t ruined anything for me, but I wanted to throw that out there too. Anyway, back to Hyrule I go.

[thegeminisage]

today’s zeldablogging which is full of spoilers:

the sight of my new sword sends a thrill into my heart tbh

if i ever replay this game, which tbh idk if i will, it's so Big, SS was only a third or a quarter of this size and i've only beaten it twice, im going to get it as soon as possible next time

anyway im back at the tower i suppose i'll crawl down and check out the enemies properly

i dont like gliding to towers i've discovered bc it feels like i've been plopped down into the middle of nowhere with no context

vs if i walk to them i know "where" i came from/am, if that makes any sense

(it doesn't)

i can see that flying thing closer than ever from here and it's DEFINITELY a divine beast no doubts left

yk tho. i dont WANNA check out the enemies. i wanna find that weird blanked out place at the top of my map!

haha i can feel it already

i'm so anxious to get to the end of the game and uncover the plot im gonna be like "FUCK EXPLORING" for the rest of it and only go to the places i need, now that i've got this map

i can always do more thorough exploration after, i've been spoiled that there's postgame content, but even if there's not like any other zelda game it'd put me right back before the final battle

god im having to go ALL THE WAY AROUND the lost woods i can't even glide over the nearby river to make the path shorter i bet there's an easier way to do this from the other side but i havent been there yet

ah, another forest covered in fog. black fog. how inviting.

ohhh, it's a shrine trial. wonderful. in the pitch blackness!

this is already worse than eventide

luckily i have the weird glowy skeleton suit i bought from the boy gerudo clothes store

i forgot to mention it bc i had no IDEA what it was for, but here we are

like. this has to be lmao

i keep dying in my first six steps what am i doing wrong??

oh, maybe bc i'm gliding in, i see a bridge on the map

ohhh god i hear a hinox...why, lord

haha im like.following the ways the statues point and. they're pointing at the hinox! wow!

lol when i realized the stone birds had torches on top i started over so i could light them all

OHHH I WOKE UP THE HINOX I DIDN'T EVEN GET A SURPRISE ATTACK IN

MASTER SWORD HELP ME

oh god this glowy armor has no defense!!

i'll just leave the helm on, then

oh thank fuck i used an atk+ elixir and it waasnt so bad

see, like, i COULD explore that upper ridge but thanks to the map i already know it's full of silver lynels. no thanks.

oh my god the yiga clan is RELENTLESS right here i guess bc i'm going around the back of (shudder) hyrule castle

oh!! a stable, thank goodness, i was starting to get wigged out

i guess all those people on the road had to have meant something

this isn't even on the map!!

oh wait lol yes it is

aww, i don't see beedle here...i was sure he'd be at everyone, i don't think i've encountered one where he isn't yet...

i'll be honest, i've grown kind of bored of combat

and know i'm biased but i genuinely i don't think it's me, i think it's the game's difficulty/"difficulty"

i used to see monster camps and think STRATEGY, is there a beehive, barrels to blow up, a place i can glide down from, this is so fun!

which gradually morphed into "okay this is gonna be a bit of a long haul but there'll be Treasure and sniping from afar is still fun"

idk if the black bokoblins/moblins/etc show up after you've done more things or bc of the area you're in but i'm noticing more enemies with more health, higher defense, and higher attack, and the barrels/metal boxes/beehives/etc becoming rarer, and when they do appear, being almost pointless to use because you're more likely to blow yourself up than do any real damage to the mobs

and like i love this game. it absolutely deserves every bit of its raid reviews, and this feeling COULD just be because i've been marathoning it for 12 straight days and i'm anxious to see the end and get back to my life

but to me, attacking a flat area full of black moblins and bokoblins isn't fun even with the stealth/snipe element bc you can't take them out in 1-3 shots, you have to stop and slash at them, and that alerts EVERYONE else, and it's just pointless

(lol i found some flat ruins by the stable which triggered this rant)

like, even the yiga clan hideout - my instinct was to snipe the enemies as i went, which would have made it a bit more fun imo, even though the stealth bit wasn't bad and i enjoyed that section quite a lot

i just don't like the—idk a better term for it unfortunately—"fake difficulty" thing where you just have to slog your way thru 1000s of random battles, i don't like it in rpgs either

kind of like almost wherever i explored at first i would run into minibosses rarely and then almost constantly

which, yeah, most of them aren't as hard now, But Still, it's the point of the thing

maybe i'm a bit defensive about "real gamer" bullshit and "women can't game" stereotypes while being super bad at games my whole life while my brother was fantastic at them

but like i just don't find that fun?? sure a good challenge once in awhile like eventide isle would be fine (even tho that was hellish and i'll never do it again) but that should be. every once in awhile, not. EVERYWHERE

anyway

frankly @ this point i'm REALY tempted to speed thru it before my surgery

bc i would hate to be laid up in bed and still have to worry about mobile browsing bc botw spoilers and tumblr's interface being awful

anyway i can;'t travel further in this direction without getting over near rito/hyrule field territory

and not only are those towers further away than i'd like but i wanted to do gerudo highlands first so back to the desert i go i guess rip

oh my god the wastelands tower goes down into NOTHINGNESS you're SUPPOSED to apporach from above

also i heard kass!! kass, buddy, where are you ;_;

oh i LOVE these cliffside structures i've been looking forward to them for so long

but i can't find kass ;_;

ALL tower shenanigans must CEASE until he is located!!

wait, he's...i see him! he's at the top of the tower! oh my god!

I'M COMIN, KASS

awww he wants to play the song for the hero who fell 100 years ago! he doesn't know it's me! ;__;

oh gross level two cold here and i didn't bring much cold food...just my warm doublet

wait

i have food AND the jacket and im STILL cold? this is level THREE? wtf wtf wtf

good thing i also have the ruby circlet but jeeeesus

i still have no food so i can't stay long

oh shit i found some guardians

still ones thank god

dude i found a HUGE cool mural for one shrine!!

yeah, this game is definitely still as full of fun secrets and as deslightful as when i first began playing it

and it came at a good time bc i just lost angela and it helped me feel Real Joy again

most displeasure i find with it now is because "AAAH ZELDA AT SOME POINT I NEED TO GET BACK TO MY FUCKING LIFE"

i'm so worried about spoilers and being behind now that some of the fun is draining away

i think after a bit of time has passed i'll either go back and finish exploring properly or straight up start a new file

and do it Thoroughly

when i can relax and go at my own pace instead of feeling like i'm racing the internet, my dashboard, my friends, my brother, etc

this region is soooo cold and i am so certain i'll get better cold gear in the rito area that im just activating the shrines and not even going inside to use my little food as efficiently as possible

im lit not even going inside

oh it's dropped to level 2 cold...thank god

THERE i got them all now to rush to ritoland

wait...i thought i read the 10k fairy wrong but i see ANOTHER on the map!

i bet SHE wants 10k and i have four thousand fucking rupees UGH

i thought there were only 4 and the horse fairy counted.......

ohh my god the divine beast is much closer from where i'm gliding...it's so big

I SEE DINAAL BUT I'M ON A FUCKING GLIDER SLKDFJGH

oh i've been typing it wrong all this time. dinRaal.

ohhh this region is so pretty so far...unlike the highlands which is miserable, i HATE snow in this game, i actually do wanna explore around here, i wish i didn't feel so hurried

oh god that divine beast is just So. it is So Big

god i passed the fairy on my way to the tower...10k! and i haven't been watching my cash bc i thought i misread something

all this time i've had 12 and 13 thousand rupees and i was blowing them on dumb shit

SILVER bokoblins...? come ON

good loot, tho

got the tower!

ohhh man. tat divine beast. oh boy. oh dude. big. so big. jesus fuck

oh hey i see rito village!! just where i wanted to go first

they better have good cold gear here :|

OH FUCK THERE'S THE BEAST SCREECHING

oh my god it's SO BIG im SO SCARED jesus FUCK

i wonder if kass will be here

IT'S RITO ISLAND MUSIC

IM GOING TO CRY

IT REALLY IS!!!! IT REALLY IS RITO ISLAND MUSIC

oh god it's BEAUTIFUL

aw omg the goddess statue here has a flower crown!

all right, fifteen heart containers...the rest will be stamina 5ever

no wait fuck i should have gotten stamina this time!! i'll get a heart from the beast

well i know you can trade them, somewhere out here i think

this beautiful too tbh this is all nice and orchestrated Damn

geez the armor will set me back even more money! not TOO much but when you're saving up for 10k...

well, against my brother's advice, i'm selling monster parts...i know i'll regret it later if i need them to upgrade armor, but i'm trying to stick to the common ones i have like 100+ of, so

aaand 10! woohoo

awww all the little baby rito in the hammocks :')

OMG the biggest rito looks like an owl! kaepora reference

oooh here comes a memory

AHAHAHA

revali and link were rivals. ok. im down with that for sure

and his specisal ability! an updraft!! PERFECT tbh

aww teba's husband doesn't want her son to be a warrior

tho i like the idea that ritos are hotheads hahahaha

zoras and gorons are both kinda collected we needed some assholes

HA i look forward to when revali gives me his special ability

i'm crying teba is such an asshole i LOVE him

wow i guess it's time to fight the beast already...? that was so FAST

omg i get to ride him!!!! yessss

oh my gosh we're up so HIGH oh man oh man the world is so tiny but i know it's really so huge oh god the divine beast is so BIG

lol i probs should have upgraded this rito armor.......

oh well too late now lmao

ohhh i love it when they talk to me

TEBA?

HE'S HURT OMG ):

nintendo would never kill him but omg im so worried about him

AAAAAH THERE'S REVALI

ohhh he's a DICK i LOVE HIM

ooh the master sword DOES glow when it's near the malice blight stuff

lowkey tempted to go back and upgrade this armor lol but i don't wanna leave and who even knows if i have the mats...

i'll just brave it thru like this and it'll be something to brag about later since apparently i suck at everything else

like doing eventide with five hearts on the blood moon

LMAO REVALI IS SO SMUG "you'll need to activate all the terminals, think you're up to it?" he's a DICK and i LOVE HIM i LOVE THE RITO

the music in this one is SO COOL?

i feel more like i'm fighting for my life/against something larger here, rather than just trying to creep through gently without disturbing anything and solve a puzzle for the others

and it's 100% bc of the music jesus christ

i LOVE how much gliding is involved this is EASILY my favorite divine beast so far

lol revali's tone of surprise in "there are two terminals remaining" i love him so much

"just one terminal remaining hmph what do you know" pls

all five down now the true test is can i beat the boss LMAO

the last 3 weren't nearly as bad as i expected, tho the lightning one's teleporting thing was almost too fast for me with my one-handed weapons

so maybe hopefully with good food this will be OK too

ok, i got level 2 cold food so i can get by with just wearing the pants :U not as much defense as i'd like but better than nothin

"it only defeated me bc i was winging this"

"can't believe i'm saying this but avenge me link!!"

ohhh there's accordian in this version of the fight song 

KASS ;_;

i wonder if kass's teacher WAS revali, or knew him

LMAO revali trash talks me when i get hit

KEEP YOUR HEAD IN THE GAME i didnt even watch that movie and im laughing at the meme

lmao "broke" the master sword with the last bow

eeeewww

DAAAAAMN

wouldn't even look at link as he left "your job is far from finished you know zelda has been waiting an awfully long time"

haha "i'll be plucked" as well thanks nintendo

"we've been ARTFULLY patient these last 100 years you won't suffer a feather over a few more moments"

geez i love him so much

that was definitely the best divine beast

tho the zora one is a close second

i gotta go make sure teba is ok

IM CRYING ZELDA JUST TOLD ME TO GO TO HYRULE CASTLE

soon i promise ok

time to go see the great fairy :U man i really thought my armor had been improved all it could be...

and 10k down the drain...

omg she's pink :3

im ALSO warping back to akkala to see if i can get any guardian armor yet i've collected a fair amt of parts!

LMAO I FINALLY HAVE THE MATS AND I DON'T HAVE THE CASH rip

ohhhh i see a new storm over hyrule field...DNW

lol maybe i SHOULD have explored it before now...too late now

holy shit i almost ran straight into a flying guardian going after this soul piece

ok, i need a plan...if i wanna beat the game before friday i gotta be Smart

i still need to finish exploring all the provinces, at least at the sursory level i gave to the highlands, but hopefully maybe a little better

i need to go back and do shrines and sidequests

and obviously i need to actually finish

counting today i have three days left so i guress i'll assign one task to each day, the last task obviously being on thursday

less than two hours left for playtime today, but i guess today i should explore, tomorrow i should shrine/sidequest, and i can do a LITTLE of that thursday if needed, and thursday i'll storm hyrule castle. ok

slkfjgh

SDLFGJHDLFKJG god. ok

aaaah the ruins music makes me so sad ):

pffft cute i got a memory where zelda was like STOP FOLLOWING ME I DONT NEED A BODYGUARD at link how adorable

i wanted to get all the memories before i beat the game but they're like ALL in/around hyrule field/castle and i'm afraid if i go there now that i've gotten all the beasts freed i'll trigger endgame events that i can't stop

so i guess i fucked myself over

i think i'll go ahead and get all the towers tho

so i can move around freely

i have time for like one MAYBE two before stream starts

aw this tower in the cold place is so cute and short

looked it up & apparently the heart/stamina swap is in hateno so im gonna go find it!

oh i came at night but that monster store guy is here!!

omg DUDE he sells DARK LINK gear?!?!

and apparently your movement speed goes up at night

the mask and bridles are pretty cool but i HAVE to have this

lmao and i just sold all my parts for that 10k...!

man he doesn't give you a lot tho...like, it has its own currency...i could never sell enough to get even one :/

ok, i can buy the tunic or the legs...but not the face. hmm

i guess the legs alone would look pretty dumb, but i have black pants and a hood that can kinda go with the tunic, so

this is kinda outta nowhere but i wish there was a recipe book for everything we've unlocked or read about, i just can't keep it all in my head

LOL omg that was freaky

okay but now i gotta quit

i didn't get all that i wanted to done, but maybe more later tonight but def tomorrow!!

playing a bit more bc bad choices

oh hmm it looks like i was mistaken and that storm isn't over the castle afterall! thank goodness

oh my god there's SO many shrines in the hebra peak range?? why???

LMFAO im thawing blocks of ice to get to this shrine and one has a moblin in it

me: stops thawing

OH MY GOD

THIS RANGE HAS AURORAS

IM GONNA CRY JFC

and i missed snapping a picture because of enemies!!! im so mad

too bad SO sad i am going back to those fires that started and waiting for night again i WILL get a picture

ugh and now it's snowing

i guess i could unlock this nearby shrine in the meantime

ooh, is that a cabin

;___; old man

end of the game and i still miss you

O: shield surfing

oh man i didnt actually wanna DO it now but

i actually dont know how to do the thing lol

lord, i had to google it. no one said a thing about pressing A

that was fun!! also i was worried i'd get lost so maybe i'll just. not do this for now

THERE! YES! AURORAS!

ooh god there's a silver lynel down there

i know i've been bitching over and over about fights but i lowkey wanna fight it to see if i can

i won't though bc my cold armor isn't very upgraded and my defense would be shot probably even with def+ food

as an aside im glad rivali's ability recharges so quickly i was afraid they'dmake me wait ages like the others

ohhh my god there's SO MANY silver lynel around here WHY

they have such a long detection range and such a scary roar )))):

thank god for rivali's gale i can fly right over him...otherwise i'd have to Run

there's another maze shrine here and im highkey like Ugh

idk if i'll quit when i get to the entrance or after i solve the maze...

i guess i'll give it a quick try and if it's horrible i'll stop until later

naturally i'm wondering if i can solve it on my map first and/or get to the top

if i could before with as little stamina as i had then: sure i'd be able to

probably there are guardians and the answer isnt THAT easy but

the entire maze seems to be one path which is absolutely useless to me like it doesn't look like a maze you solve on paper so i obviously have to find a door or go above or below all that somehow

uh

there are no guardians up here at ALL

in fact i think i even see a hole down to the shrine...

ok, what's the catch, what gives

ah no the hole only goes down a couple of feet and has a chest with a diamond in it

the devs saying "nice try but no" lol

i did find the entrance pretty quick from the top tho! and now i can warp back anytime

or no wait this WAS the challenge i can just go get my orb and ches

DUDE THE ATK+ LEGS......DUDE

ok i gotta figure out the shrine the chest is in and get it i NEED it this armor plus a def+ elixir? i'd be unstoppable, no more dodging fights for me!

well, less dodging fights

ok, so i looked it up and the chest is in a gerudo maze which i didn't even know existed bc i either missed it on the interactive map or it wasn't ther

but it looks Difficult so im gonna save it for tmrw