#i love anyone who reads my stuff i am eternally grateful

[usernamemybeloathed]

When you get a comment on your first ever longfic, even if it's messy and chaotic.

And another convert to the "I'll now romance Alex" club. Join us 🫴

[azure-cherie]

4000 game ·˚ ༘♡ ·˚ ♡ closed

Closed at 6:14 pm IST , might open later but for now it's closed .

Paid readings at 40% off and special edition readings are open

Here's me hugging y'all 👆

First of all Thank you so much 😭😭😭😭😭😭♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️

Some time ago doing tarot and astrology was nothing but a dream but each one of you has made my dream into a reality , by reading , reblogging , commenting, reaching out to me , I have found friends and I have found family within the love each one of you have shown to me , I'm so eternally grateful for the lovely interactions I have with you guys , love to all the people who did exchanges with me , love to all the people who got paid readings, everything has brought me so much joy and abundance. Most importantly thank you to the people who always supported me i hope my readings even if a little give you some hope . I am so so grateful for everything .

Here's a game from my end for y'all

Anyone who has been following me can enter , you don't need to reblog or comment , you can directly enter my ask box 🩷 please send a feedback always helps 🌷

This game will be closed when I think I have enough 🌷enter fast alrighty 🩷

Here's what you can choose from

Use this emoji to enter - 🍄-Any astrology question, ( I'll ans only if I know about it ) send natel chart for tropical, sidereal - for general questions: send D1 for f.s questions send D1+ D9 )

Use this emoji to enter - 🌌-Rune reading ( any question of your choice ) send initials/ name and zodiac.

Use this emoji to enter - 🔮-Tarot readings ( any question of your choice ) send initials/name and zodiac.

There's no limit to the number of questions you can ask just send those questions differently

40 % off on my paid services ( except mini readings and one card - two card )

Special readings 4000 edition { dm me for this one }

🪩 Past life reading ( tarot) - INR 555 , 6.66 USD

🪩 About your lineage (tarot ) ( tea about origin , ancestors. Advice and important stuff you should know) - INR 777 , 9.33 USD

Thank you so much again 😭♥️♥️♥️♥️ i wish you guys enjoy 🥹🩷

[redson-lmk]

Hey, Redson... if I asked you on a date, would you say yes?

BUT WAIT!!!!!!!!!!!! Before you decline and say '' why would I ever date a peasant like you?'' let me give you reasons why you should date me

I can cook and i can clean

Companionship: Having ME to share your life with can bring a sense of comfort and joy. It’s nice to have someone to talk to, share experiences with, and support each other through life’s ups and downs. RIGHT?!

Love : you will forever be my pookie and if so, I am eternally grateful

Fun and Excitement: we could go on AHEM... ''new adventures' together, spend time together, talk to eachother.....

I can help you build your stuff ya know! like those super cool cars you are always working on and stuff I

I'm house wife material

I can tell you how amazing you are~

Lots of dates such as roller skating, bungie jumping, cafe date or sum, reading books together, watching movies together

AND unlike Mei, I'm NOT annoying :3

You need your space? Oki! I'll give I to you.... not for too long though

I'm clingy..... NOT ANNOYING

I'm in desperate need for you love redson.... ANYONES LOVES

I'm useful.... in more ways then one...

Reminder that I will be at your side 247

Your parents will ADORE me UwU

I have tons of nicknames for you~

You wanna go out? I'm down for it. you wanna stay home? I'm ALSO down for it

You listen to music? you like rock? well so do I, bbg

I can bush your hair for you in the morning

AND LASTLY.... i love you for who you are, not because you're a prince and are really you are so fricking, and is a genius and mechanics, and are my type......

So! with all that in mind~~~~ will you date me?

I'm very flattered but no. I don't even know you?! And this is all just overwhelming. From reason #12, I assume that you're just lovesick. I can't reciprocate your feelings but maybe you'll find someone else who can.

[a-rum-of-ones-own]

Hi!!!

I’m currently reading A Cosmology of Blacks, Malfoys, and Assorted Individuals and just wanted to express how much I love this fic!!! Your writing style is so profoundly passionate and evocative. The way you describe the emotions and inner workings of Draco, his observations and interactions with others, and blend sensory details with atmospheric elements is so poetically done—I seriously can’t deal.

What spurred me to write this was the opening of Chapter 19:

“With their ancient, bony hands, they’d passed her golden bowls filled with brew of black cohosh. Narcissa, panting in the heated darkness of the room she was confined in, had gulped them down, red-dark liquid dripping down her chin and staining the near-translucent smocking of her nightgown.

Winds had battered against the curtained windows. The approach of an early summer storm. The air had been sweltering, hot, over-heavy with lightning that had not yet discharged.”

LIKE UGH…MINDBOGGLINGLY BEAUTIFUL. SERIOUSLY. It’s so viscerally described that I feel like I’m transported right into the room.

I’m trying to consciously pace myself through the remaining chapters because I don’t want to catch up ;( but could you recommend some books that inspired you to write this fic, or even books that influenced your writing? I would be eternally grateful (high-key already am just for the existence of this fic).

I am so thankful to have stumbled upon this gem. You are sosososo talented; I am truly in awe and can’t wait to read more of your work! xxx

Heeey! Thank you so, SO much! I had so much fun writing that scene with the midwives - I cannot resist including scary old ladies and weird little arcane rituals of womanhood in everything I write, lol. I'm a total sucker for it. Give me a scary old woman who may or may not be a morally grey agent of The Dark And Mysterious Powers of the Great Beyond, and I'm sold.

YES, I do have book recs! Fic-writing is, for me, an opportunity for total stylistic self-indulgence, and there are absolutely influences! In general, Cosmology takes a LOT of influence from gothic writing. That entire theme of a house/manor/castle as a pseudo-living thing, the curses of our ancestors coming back to haunt us, ghosts of the past (both in literal and non-literal form), that's all just plain gothic, and I LOVE writing and reading that sort of stuff. Jane Austen's first novel, Northanger Abbey, is a fantastic gothic novel and/or gothic parody, and it's a shame it's not read more widely. It's definitely her first - it's not as absolutely refined as the big names like Pride and Prejudice etc - but it's the one I love the most. There's a proper mystery plot, a cursed house, a romance, a haunting - it's just great.

If you're not a Jane Austen girlie, a HUGE influence for me is Donna Tartt, especially The Secret History and The Goldfinch. If you're into that ornate, atmospheric, scene-setting writing, both will be right up your alley - The Secret History has a bit more of it (and is, imo, the better one to start out with), but they're both just amazing. One day, I want to be able to write like Donna Tartt does. She's the OG, she's the GOAT, she's perfect, she's probably my favourite contemporary author.

Also: Shirley Jackson's The Haunting of Hill House. It's one of my absolute favourite books, but (warning!) it's not literary fiction or romance, it's very much the story of a haunting. If you're absolutely not into horror, stay clear. Similarly, The Perfume by Patrick Süßkind is BEAUTIFUL, but absolutely not a romance. I've only read it in the original and can't vouch for any translations into English, but judging by the reviews, the sheer VibesTM seem to come across even in translation. The original is one of the best books I've ever read, and I wholeheartedly recommend it to anyone looking for something truly unique. I've also recently read V.C. Andrew's Flowers in the Attic for the first time, and found it really good in that gothic sense, but mind ALL the trigger warnings on that one. I don't deal well with graphic depictions of more realistic violence/abuse, especially if it involves kids (stylised/fantastical and implicit violence is fine, but anything that reads too 'real' and 'logically possible irl' doesn't agree with my stomach), and it's got some of that. I skipped a page or two, but still found it a prime example of Southern Gothic.

Thank you so so much again! I hope to get the next chapter of Cosmology out soon!

[birbliophile]

Hello, I hope you don't mind me sending this to your asks box. I couldn't really figure out where to best send the message, but I really wanted to express my heartfelt appreciation for The Taste of Goodbye, so I just decided to send it as an ask. I cannot properly express my gratitude with words alone, but it's worth a try.

First of all - and I'm starting to sound like a broken record here - I obsess over so many aspects of Dungeon Meshi and its characters. One of those aspects I obsess over is Marcille, and how she'd cope with inevitably outliving everyone she holds dear. I think she'd manage, but I wanted to see more stuff exploring that in particular. I've seen comics about it. Beautiful little snippets that leave a hole in my chest and a rope neatly tied around my lungs, but this is the first time I've discovered an actual story about it. And not just any story. No, no no… It's an expertly crafted masterpiece, written in a way that makes me feel emotions I didn't even know I could still feel.

I can't go into detail without spoiling anyone in case this is responded to, but what I can say is that each chapter is unique. With each passing comes a new banquette, and with each new banquette come valuable memories, which can be cherished forever. Sure, they're gone, but their memories and legacy remain. Even if everybody who remembers you has passed away, the world is ever changing and worth exploring. It is worth it to cherish every moment, even if you're the last one standing. You only live once, and every moment of life has meaning. I think Chapter 9 and 10 have some of the most touching, saddening and simultaneously beautiful and hopeful conversations ever. After dwelling on Marcille's lifespan for so long, I'm almost kind of ashamed I never discovered this story before, but now that I've read it, I am eternally grateful.

Your writing style is so perfect for this, the narration describing each action worked wonders for my vivid imagination, and I had no trouble whatsoever imagining these scenes as though they were actually happening. Reading about Marcille's reaction to each passing, as slowly but surely she outlives everyone she loves... It's heartbreaking. The agony of parting is almost palpable. Like a thick smog clogging up my lungs as tears stream down my face. But with each passing, there's a silver lining. Their memories and legacy remain. The people they met, the friends they made, they hold onto those memories and cherish them.

On a more personal note - which I think is necessary to properly convey my gratitude for having read this story - it's almost like coming full circle with the story of Dungeon Meshi and how it affected me. I've attended plenty of funerals, and I felt just as distraught, yet simultaneously hopeful reading this story as I did when I was attending those funerals. At some point though, I stopped caring. I was tired of mourning and shedding tears, and so I stopped crying. I desensitized myself so I no longer had to face the pain of loss, and it's made me very out of touch with my emotions. Dungeon Meshi was the first story I ever read, where I resonated with its characters as deeply as I did. For the first time in years, I was crying, and it hurt. Physically. I genuinely thought I was having a heart attack or broke my ribs, because I hadn't actually felt true sadness in such a long time that my mind and body almost felt like they were at odds with one another, as though my mind was out of practice with emotions, and my body was all too eager to teach it.

Dungeon Meshi has so many themes that stuck with me, and it drove me to feel something again. Something more than weird sensations stapled down under years of desensitization. In a sense, reading this story, about Marcille attending her friends' funerals, is like coming full circle. I was looking forward to reading this because it explored a topic I'm deeply interested in, but now that I finished it, it feels like it completed the story for me in a way not even the post-ending comics could. I wasn't expecting that, but I'm very glad.

I'm sorry if this is kind of an awkward rant, and I'm sorry if it's way longer than actually necessary, but I really wanted to express just how grateful I am I found your story. I am privileged to have experienced this, and my only regret is that I'll never be able to experience it the same way again. I look forward to reading more of your stories.

Thank you.

Wow! Imagine my surprise and delight to get such a kind and extensive comment about The Taste of Goodbye in my inbox! I needed quite a bit of time to compose my response, so here it is:

Marcille’s lifespan being so integral to the themes of Dungeon Meshi is something that also captivated me when I read the manga, and part of the reason I started writing TTOG was because at the time, the fandom was still growing exponentially and there weren’t a ton of fics on ao3 about Marcille and outliving her friends. 

Grief has always been a major theme in my writing, which I honestly only recently kind of figured out. I often say I like happy, fluffy stories, and that is still true—a lot of my works are rather comedic in nature. But grief—the pain of loss, the way it can tear you apart and ache like a wound that will never fully go away, it’s something I find deeply human and fascinating to explore. 

But it’s not really the pain that I find myself drawn to. It’s the love. There’s a quote from the game God of War: Ragnarok that stuck with me a lot and that I’ve thought about every time I write a new grief piece, and it goes like this: 

“The culmination of love is grief. And yet we love despite the inevitable, we open our hearts to it…To grieve deeply…is to have loved fully. Open your heart to the world as you have opened it to me, and you will find every reason to keep living in it.”

It’s a fantastic summary of everything I adore when I write about grief. To write about grief is to write about love, about remembering everything that was good and bad that will never be again, but will always be carried in the hearts of those that survive. Similarly, when I write about death I like to highlight the beauty of life, of change, of what makes life worth living.  

Every life is celebrated, wonderful in its own way, and no life is wasted if there is love in it.

I’m so glad that Dungeon Meshi was such an important piece of art for you, to get you to experience sadness and catharsis in such a powerful way. It’s so cool that art can do this kind of thing! I think good art is deeply important to humanity for this reason—it’s like carving out a piece of your soul and having it resonate with others like the song they never knew they were aching for. 

TTOG is one such piece of my soul, and I’m both immensely surprised and grateful that it’s touched so many people. It might come as a surprise to many that I wouldn’t consider it my magnum opus—I didn’t set out to make it the best thing ever, I just wanted to write a story I hadn’t seen yet in the fandom, and like you said, to bring the story full circle regarding the themes around Marcille, life, and food. In fact, there are a few lines that I’m like “hm, I could’ve done better” and often I’m like “has no one noticed that I forgot the beach I mentioned in Chapter 5 does not exist?” 

But I was very genuine when I wrote it—with all my writing I approach it with emotions that it would be easy to play cool or be ironic about. And I think it’s very clear in my narration how much weight and feeling I give to grief and to love. Which means I’m pretty satisfied with TTOG in the end! 

You absolutely don’t have to apologize for sending me this, I can’t express enough how happy it makes me to get comments from people about how much they enjoyed the writing I create! To have your creation be so meaningful and inspire such deep emotions in others is truly one of the greatest achievements for an artist. 

I don’t know if I’ll ever write anything that hits that hard for so many people again, but I do have a few concepts cooking that might end up having a similar energy to TTOG if I find the energy to complete them. 

Since I mainly write for the Dr. Stone fandom, it may take some time for me to come back to my Dungeon Meshi projects. But I’m happy to see that if/when I do start posting more Dungeon Meshi writing, I’ll definitely have an audience of people who really enjoy my style and themes.

Thank you so much for taking the time to share your thoughts about TTOG with me, and I hope you have a lovely day.  

Oh, and to anyone wondering, the fic mentioned here can be read on ao3 as The Taste of Goodbye by Birbliophile (that’s me, of course!) Warning for BIG end-of-manga spoilers!!

[thegamingcatmom]

Good evening, lovely Cat Mom! 👋🏻😸💖

I hope that this message finds you well.. aka feeling wonderfully insane, feeding the delightful dark things in your mind, and continuing to fuel your obsession with our favourite undead Mommy! 😌💞

I felt it necessary that this particular part of your reply to one of my asks deserves its own little response from me because [ *sounds of lesbian feral screaming into her pillow* ] 😩😻

(Tbh I´ve been itching to use the term "mate" for our poor little Drama Queen for a while now because it´s got such a feral feeling to it and it tells us quite a bit about Momma´s inner workings because mate is basically the equivalent to mine mine mine now and forever and there´s probs lots of biting going on and mating dance and courting and chasing is foreplay and also brrrrrrrrrr and 🥵)

As a lover of A/B/O fiction and primal kink stuff.. this sort of thing drives me crazy! It makes me vibrate with need! 🥴😵‍💫 Therefore, I am obviously eternally grateful for you seeing reader as Momma’s mate, and viewing Ellie as an alpha, and including those descriptors in your writing.

As soon as there is any sort of mention of things such as: being someone’s mate, being owned, the alpha / omega dynamic, predator / prey roles, foreplay in the form of being chased / hunted, being marked or bitten as a form of visible ownership, claiming / being claimed, mating, and breeding.. I am done for! 🥵😮‍💨

RIP me.. in the best possible way! 😻💘

Also, this little snippet from your reply to someone else’s ask:

“..clearly you approve of her display of strength, of showing who’s at the top of the food chain - an apex predator, an alpha-“

Upon reading that line alone:

I am feeling rather insane over Momma’s mating dance, as her showing off her alpha prowess and proving herself to be more than a worthy mate for reader involving her slaughtering those who she sees as possible competition ( aka absolutely anyone! ) in front of you to impress you, and leaving absolute carnage and utter chaos in her wake in her attempts to court you, is just so.. afshdkfkehshdkhddhaaaaaagh! 🤤

Where do I sign up for an unhinged woman to treat me this way? SIGN ME UP! 🖊️🙏🏻

AIGHT YALL please do line up right here-

*gestures losely to the hole that´s opened up*

- for a one-way ticket to hell.

But be warned because it´s swarmed with unhinged, murderous, demonic women lusting after your flesh and blood and other bodily fluids and limbs might get sent flying absolutely everywhere SO strong is their desire, their instinct to climb inside your body so that you can be one now and forever because they need to be with you every second every step like a leech and eternity can be rather long lemme tell ya so it is strongly advised to proceed with caution and take a moment to think very carefully about-

...alright then.

(Yall thirsty af, shame on you.)

But where are my manners?!

HELLAW lovely ghost aka was Mommy! 🥰💕

Your messages are always so fucking sweet and thoughtful I- 🥺💗🥺💗🥺💗🥺

ALSO, reading through your ask made me realize how utterly delicious deranged!Maggot Momma sounds even thought that´s literally my view of her so I SHOULD know how it sounds but seeing someone else wrapping it all up so nicely and with these words (alpha prowess made me melt) is just another thing entirely and makes me feel things. 🥵🥵🥵🥵

(Also, I feel it necessary to point out that my brain is a fountain of insanity and it doesn´t look like it´s gonna be exhausted anytime soon.)

And AOSFNASLNÖSAGANK primal!Momma is delicious ain´t she?? And just thinking about anything involving A/B/O universe with Maggot Momma is- I-

IDEAS THOUGHTS FEELS-

OKAY LISTEN,

I think it´s become quite clear by now that I, indeed, view Momma as the alpha, the leader of the pack (of Undeads). There´s this certain dynamic going on between her and the other Deadites/demons and it´s very likely I´m going to delve deeper into that in the future because pack dynamics (especially of the demonic kind) are just a special kind of 🥵

My recent work is a pretty good example of what we can expect of Momma & The Pack in the future and how she deals with things like insubordination.

...Insubordination concerning that bunch of misfits of course. Not her perfect Drama Queen because her mate can do no wrong because they´re perfect and if yall ever dare even implying such a thing then Momma´s personally gonna drag your ass to hell where you can rot for all eternity.

But yeah, it´s basically Maggot Momma constantly feeling this need to prove herself and gallavant about - showing everyone that alpha prowess - because not only does it secure her place as the top dog but (she thinks) it also lets her have allll the puss-

I mean-

As with all (or most) animals, the only things that matter when it comes to laying claim to a female are strength and size. And Momma´s got both.

[um-whattheducc]

TRIGGER WARNING - CONTAINS VERY PERSONAL AND VERY SENSITIVE TOPICS SUCH AS SEVERE DEPRESSION AND TRAUMA, READ AT YOUR OWN RISK

This is the real me, these are my true everyday thoughts.

The last thing I ever want to do is trauma dump anyone, but I need to release my pent up emotions somewhere. Please take the warning above seriously if this type of stuff makes you uncomfortable. I'm going on a sad and angry rant purely about local people i know in real life, NOT about anyone i talk to on tumblr, I genuinely love you. There will be very aggresive language. I'm posting this because this blog is my safe space and frankly i need somewhere to say what i'm about to say without paying for therapy.

I'm trying my best. I really am. It may not look it but i am. Me eating even 100 calories in a day, or waking up in the morning, is the best i have to give right now.

I am so far gone i don't even understand what's happening. I'm so fucking tired of life and don't know how much i can take anymore.

Tired of life-or-death level family trauma. I love them with all my heart and eternally grateful for the good they've provided to me, but can't ignore the bad either. They have ripped me apart, between being the golden child who's supposed to become a doctor and save the family, to the marriage counsellor/therapist for my parents, the lighting rod for my older brothers countless reckless idiotic actions, the suicide threats from family and friends and tearing myself apart trying to keep them alive, I can't take it anymore.

Tired of feeling hopeless, tired of feeling insecure about being 23 and still not having any sexual experience whatsoever because my attention was on my family and grades instead of living my life. Tired of watching the girls i fall so deeply in love in end up dating my closest friends it's fucking torture. It's pure fucking torture. I'm tired of telling people how i feel about still being single and told that being single is the best as if it isn't the most invalidating thing they could possibly say. Try never having any experience for your whole life, including never having your first kiss and tell me how you feel watching all your friends talk about their love lives, or having to watch it everyday knowing that it's something you'll never have.

Tired of walking around dead inside, tired of wearing a fake smike until i come home and crumble apart and pick myself back up the next morning to make it through the day, tired of losing interest in activities i used to be passionate about, tired of pretending like everything is ok, tired of constant doubt, tired of feeling the most depressed on christmas, new years, my birthday, pretty much any day that should be celebratory. Tired of the fact that everything i try to be happy doesn't work. I tried to gym consistently for 4 months, healthy diet, full time job, take care of myself, i can't anymore.

Graduating college very soon and all i can think about is how i became a shell of myself in those 4 years when i always dreamed about how college would be the place where i'd become the most happy and free. Instead it was disappointment and constant heart break over and over, from a straight A student aspiring to become a doctor to just trying to stay alive wondering what's the point...

I'm still trying my best

[hereforthefanficsandromance]

Good News and Bad News

What I'm Up To:

Hey everyone, I know it's been a few weeks since you've seen any new writings on my end. I want to apologize for this delay. I am currently working really hard to learn as much as possible about creative writing in order to present the best possible work for not only TWHLAY but also for all my one shots and mini series.

This has understandably been a rather large task and has pushed a lot of my stuff backwards on the timeline of completion. However, I am extremely optimistic that the payoff will be absolutely worth it.

Because of this work, we must enter the…

Bad News

TWHLAY Act II will have pretty significant delays, expect up to six months before you see new chapters for that Act. I completely understand that a lot of you follow me because you were hoping for new content for The Way He Looks at You. I understand that this may lead some of you to unfollow until new content is produced or never return to reading this story due to the delay. To those of you, and everyone who follows me, I want to say: Thank you so much for all your love and support with my writing. I am eternally grateful for this community and I hope to provide an outstanding level of work in the future for your enjoyment.

Other bad news, there will be a delay in the last chapter of Til the Cals Come Home for those of you who are invested in the story. I will return to it as soon as I am able. I want to get some other things moving before I prioritize it.

This all sound like a lot of delays, but I promise there is…

Good News

While Act II of TWHLAY is delayed, that does not mean you are done seeing content for our beloved Inquisitor Cal and his Light. I will still be producing new content. First, I am beginning revisions on the overall story in Act I, which means that I will be reposting all chapters to a new Tumblr blog which I beg you to follow at the following link:

This Tumblr will have the entire catalog of chapters and suggested reading order lists.

These reposts of chapters will be far superior to previous edits. I will be expanding upon our favorite characters and doing complete overhauls of the early chapters. Don't worry, the original chapters will stay posted on my main Tumblr blog if you hate the new releases. Also, I will be keeping critical (fan favorite) dialogue, and the scenes will be the same. There will be additions to many of the scenes, and a focus on better writing in general. Perhaps you hate the idea of rereading all twenty-four chapters. I don’t blame you…lucky for you, there will be audio editions of each chapter available on FanficsToAudiobooks on Tumblr:

Other exciting news, that isn’t the only new content for TWHLAY that you will receive while waiting for Act II. I am also writing a Prequel about Cal’s life as an Inquisitor before meeting Reader. You can expect nine chapters covering each year that Cal spent as an Inquisitor, all written from his perspective, of course.

Lastly, I am still finishing up several fan stories, one of which will be a mini series that will be public thanks to the winner okaying that this one be shared with all of you. It will also feature Inquisitor Cal, however, not at all the same man from TWHLAY. I am sure you will still like him quite a bit. The rest of the fan stories will NOT be posted publicly, but I am still excited for them to go to the recipients. You know who you are.

Final Thoughts

Thank you for everything. I am excited to show you how much better I can do. If you have room for words of encouragement, I always appreciate them. I love seeing my stuff get likes, comments, and reblogs (like anyone). If you’d like to join my plight to make this story as good as it can be, please reach out. I always have some new project/need to bring this story to life. Please join my Discord for updates on where I am on creating new content:

[mediaevalmusereads]

Penguin's Poems for Love. Penguin Books, 2009.

Rating: 3.5/5 stars

Genre: poetry

Series: N/A

Summary: Here are poems to take you on a journey from the 'suddenly' of love at first sight to the 'truly, madly, deeply' of infatuation and on to the 'eternally' of love that lasts beyond the end of life, along the way taking in flirtation, passion, fury, betrayal and broken hearts. Bringing together the greatest love poetry from around the world and through the ages, ranging from W. H. Auden to William Shakespeare, John Donne to Emily Dickinson, Robert Browning to Roger McGough, this new anthology will delight, comfort and inspire anyone who has ever tasted love - in any of its forms.

***Full review below.***

Since this book is a collection/anthology, my review will be structured a little different from normal.

I picked up this book after hearing it recommended by a YouTuber whose opinions on poetry I respect. As an English PhD, I'm fairly fond of poetry, and I was looking for a good collection that varied in both style and time period in which it was composed.

This collection was charming in part because it chose romantic love as its theme (the intro affirms this). Under that umbrella of romantic love, the book was divided into sections loosely defined by adverbs: suddenly, secretly, passionately, etc. It didn't make for rigid distinction between the poems, but I actually liked how nebulous each section was and that the arrangement wasn't imposing a particular reading of the poems on me.

Within those sections, there were a number of familiar names and some that were new to me. I was glad to see poets such as Sir Philip Sidney mixed in with more modern writers, as it gave me the opportunity to revisit old favorites alongside new discoveries. And as am avid lover of "old stuff," I very much appreciated the range of poetry from varying time periods, medieval to modern.

However, I do have my criticisms. For one, there were selections that I thought were incredibly odd; for example, Barber chose to include the passage from Paradise Lost in which Eve falls in love with herself and runs away from Adam. She also included a passage from Goblin Market (though not the one where Laura and Lizzy kiss). These selections sometimes made me feel like Barber was trying to force some of the heavy hitters from English Literary canon in the collection, rather than choosing poems that fit but were less popular.

For two, there were not a whole lot of prominent POC or queer poets (though there are some), which meant that the collection felt more heavily weighted towards the established canon. Maybe Barber was limited in what she chose based on copyright, but even so, it felt like some poets (such as Shakespeare, Donne, and the Brownings) were overly represented. But I should give Barber some credit; she did choose some poets who would be less familiar to an audience with a poetry background, so for that, I'm grateful.

Still, I do think this is a solid volume for anyone who might want to get into poetry for the first time or who might want to read more (if they aren't already a poetry fan). There's enough variance in style and subject matter for readers to discover their own poetic preferences and tastes, and most selections are taken from well-established poets with a lot of technical skill.

[typhin-hoofbun]

A Milestone

I kinda forgot Tumblr existed for a few weeks, so I forgot to post here to celebrate, but on January 16th, I hit a milestone. Two years of writing.

In that two years, I wrote over half a million words. In 73 chapters across three series. It's been a wild ride. My first story is still going, I haven't finished "Princess Tells Her Story" yet. (I probably will with Book 3, I can't think of anything I can really throw at the duo to challenge them after they've defeated a broken, insane god.)

I've had a pretty small following, but a loyal and supportive one, and I am eternally grateful for that. I can't wait to see where I'll be next year, or the year after that, or the year after that, and so on. ^_^

After Princess Book 3 is done, my next project is probably going to be rewriting Princess Book 1 to be better. It's a little bit of a mess, since each chapter, I didn't know if it would be the last thing I ever posted. So I tried to end it in a way that didn't leave active hanging threads, sort of a "We'll be okay" vibe, in case I couldn't continue. That made it very episodic in nature, since I didn't want to end on a cliffhanger, just in case. I also started a lot of threads that I never properly followed up on (looking at you, Brotherhood of Shadows) because I got distracted. I was very much winging it without any plan. Well, a little bit of a plan, there was quite a bit of "laying groundwork for things planned in Book 2" going on... ^_~ But still, I want to do it better, make it more cohesive, strip the "recap" bits, etc. Handle Princess's backstory better, too. Without properly planning it, it just sorta feels rough around the edges. But it'll be a while yet, I'm barely a third of the way through Book 3.

One of those readers sent me a gift for my anniversary. A box of oranges, from an orchard in Florida. They are absolutely delicious and wonderful and I love them. That reader is none other than my own mother, so of course she knows I love oranges. (You just can't get oranges that good elsewhere.) I just wanted to gush because I'm still giddy about it.

I do still kind of want to publish my work some day. It'd be nice to be able to bring in some extra income, but it'd also just be amazing to see my books on store shelves. To know someone is gonna wander those aisles like I did, look through all the covers, and a stack of paper printed with words is gonna be one filled with words I put together. Of course, anyone who picks up my stuff is probably gonna be doing the same thing I did: grabbing anything with a non-human protagonist on the cover, hoping desperately someone can put words to the feeling of "This human body is Not Me" so they feel less like they're going insane. Even if they aren't conscious of it, like I wasn't. While internet publishing like an e-book via Amazon lacks that feeling of awe, I might still do it anyway. (Would have to get together money to commission cover art, though. I'd love to get "Cover Art" stuff for each book anyway, even if I don't publish, because it'd be cool. ^_^ )

Really, I'm happy with anyone who enjoys my stuff, regardless of their reason. It's just the scenario I come up with in my head, Kid Me surrounded by endless books and trying to find one that lets me see someone else Being Different, and lets me feel it. ^_^;;

I should probably try to post on sites other than FurAffinity. I started to post to Royal Road, but I dunno, something about it just kinda grates on me, I guess. Don't know what. If people have suggestions for sites I should post to, I'd love to hear it. It's been a while since I posted a link to my stuff, so in case anyone reading this hasn't taken a look, here you go.

It's always interesting to see how some people will only follow one story, and some people will follow all three. Vayryn gets the most attention, people love yinglets. Princess gets almost as much as Vayryn, people love dragons but there's so many dragons that it's easy to get lost in the flood. Flopsy doesn't get much attention, she doesn't have people that go looking specifically for hoofbuns. I love writing all three, though. (In the latest Vayryn chapter, she attends a convention and runs into Valsalia himself. The real-life Valsalia said I did "a pretty spot-on impression", which I think is awesome. I tried to capture his friendly, approachable vibe, and I'm glad it came across. ^_^ )

Anyway, I'm going to end this here, because it's already insanely long. Love you all, I'm going to bed! (It's 5:19 AM now...)

[waifuoftomonori]

Thoughts on Scarlet Fate Characters (Love Interests and Shiki)

Before I get into the nitty-gritty: these opinions are based on incomplete information. No, I have not read all of the characters’ routes or stories, and yes, I am biased by the ones I have read. (I don’t know if anyone else ever grows so deeply attached to one or two characters from an otome that reading any other character’s route becomes painful, because the whole time you’re thinking of how wrong it feels to be with anyone other than the character you really care about, and they must be so hurt and/or lonely in this route, and if you do interact with them the interactions will probably revolve around the designated love interest and not even a simple check-up on your true love’s well-being— or if that’s just a me thing. But yes, that happened to me with Scarlet Fate, so I’ve only read a couple of routes and have no desire to complete any others.)

Furthermore, I apologize if my assessment of certain characters comes off as rude or disrespectful. Sometimes it’s a joke, for what that’s worth. Obviously, you are allowed to disagree, love whoever you love, etc. At this point it would be cool just to meet someone else who’s still as obsessed with at least one of these characters as much as I am. Or, well, even just half as much. If you are a fellow Hiiro no Kakera 4 enjoyer, even in September of 2023 (or later!), please message me and we can gush together. I know I write a lot of sexy stuff, but I’m happy to keep the conversation on strictly PG topics if you’re not comfortable with that.

Sorry that took so long. Onto the opinions. (Warning: some of the details might be a bit NSFW.)

Shiki (a.k.a. Princess Tamayori)

One of the most badass otome heroines I’ve ever encountered, and definitely the edgiest (but in a good way.)

Cool enough to get her own CG. (Technically multiple CGs, if you count the one from the summer festival story where she’s performing the dance.)

Single-handedly made Gentoka’s route enjoyable.

Hard for me to assign a DnD class to. (I’ve spent probably an abnormal amount of time thinking of what class everyone would be.) I can see elements of Cleric, Fighter, Paladin, and Warlock (probably the celestial kind for the healing). Maybe she’s a multiclasser or took some feats or something.

Tomonori

The guy who ruined all other otome love interests for me, for which I am eternally grateful.

Definitely a top.

Fully clothed eye candy.

Halfling (reskinned as short human) mastermind rogue, easy. —Yes, he’s a halfling. You read what happens in Tomonori’s story and tell me he doesn’t display both a notable resistance to intimidation attempts, most of them by a man twice his size, and an uncanny amount of good fortune right when he needs it. Probably a lightfoot because they’re the sneakier ones.

HIs DnD alignment is a more complex question. Where to start? He’s perfectly willing to either destroy or save the world at the request of the woman he loves. He’s willing to kill innocents for her, if necessary, and he encourages people to sacrifice themselves for her (as with the suicide-bombing mages in one of the early prolonged fights against the Void), but all of the people who die for the Princess do it knowingly, of their own free will, and he’s not happy about their deaths. He’s also fully willing to sacrifice himself for this purpose. He’s a government figure and comes up with a lot of plans and schemes, which are usually logical and well-thought-out, but he’s also secretly dedicated himself to freeing Shiki and dismantling the whole system from within. Oh, and he commits outright document theft in Akifusa’s route. I think he’s mostly a good person, but I also can’t overlook that he knowingly bound himself to a Chaotic Evil artifact bent on ending the world and allowed it to possess him for a time. For the purpose of destroying it. …I’m going to be a little controversial and say True Neutral, although I think you could make a convincing argument for several alignments.

Surprisingly kinky. His route alone includes bondage, punishments, controlling people via the Power of Words, emotional sadism, bodily possession (as the one possessed), drinking blood via kiss, and plenty of teasing. …Do I exaggerate his dominant tendencies in my fanfiction? Yes. Is there a solid basis within the game for that interpretation? Definitely. Does the list of kinks grow even longer in the CD Drama? You bet it does. (He would probably also enjoy vanilla sex, though, and it’s hard to imagine him going in for physical sadism with Shiki, for obvious reasons.)

Akifusa

Sunshine-and-puppies cinnamon roll boi. Deserves head pats.

Definitely a bottom.

Barbarian who thinks he’s a paladin (or at least a fighter who adheres strictly to an Oath of Honor) because he doesn’t learn how to fully rage until halfway through his own route. Lawful Good, of course.

Zero sex appeal… until you realize you’re looking at him from the wrong perspective, and he’s a sub with high pain tolerance, incredible stamina, and insane recovery time (canonically from near-death experiences, but it’s never specified that he doesn’t also recover from orgasm at the same rate :P). Oh yeah, and he transforms into his uber-buff ancestor with horns and fangs when he “rages”, so you could play with that aspect of it too.

Gentoka

One of the three characters whose main routes I’ve fully read.

I found him boring. (Read his route if you want to see Shiki kick ass, though.)

The most interesting thing about him is Aterui.

Probably a wildfire druid. Alignment: Chaotic Good? He really likes fire and ignores societal rules, but meeting (and instantly falling in love with) Shiki somehow made him reconsider most of his life’s choices and decide that some humans are okay after all.

Furutsugu

Pox-ridden whore who committed two unforgivable acts at the end of Gentoka’s route: 1. killing the cinnamon roll and 2. indirectly killing the best boi as a result. (True, you’re left to read between the lines for why Tomo suddenly “disappeared” after his best friend got murdered protecting Shiki from this bourgeoisie bastard, and the woman he’s loved for years gets hitched with some random fox guy she met in the woods a couple months ago… but personally, I think it’s pretty obvious. He doesn’t feel loved or needed, it’s probably torturing him to see Shiki with Gentoka but he knows she’s happy now and doesn’t want to make a scene, and Akifusa’s no longer there to talk him out of it and bolster his spirits with unflagging optimism. So yeah, fuck Furutsugu. Not in the way he’d want.)

I kinda love to hate him, though. He’s great inspiration for fanfic plots, largely because he still hits on Shiki after she’s married, and hating / mistrusting him is one of the few things Tomo and Aki agree on without question.

One of the high-rizz spellcasters. Not Warlock— Sorcerer or Bard? The source of his magic’s probably closer to Sorcerer (I think; I’ve never played his route), but he acts more like a stereotypical Bard. He’s flirty and plays the flute. Would gladly seduce a dragon if given the opportunity. Alignment: I’ll tentatively guess Chaotic Neutral. (Tempted to knock him down to Evil out of spite, but I’ll resist the urge.)

Kuso

Darling of the Internet. Everyone online who’s played Scarlet Fate, other than me, seems to have something nice to say about him.

I’ve heard his route is good, for people who haven’t fallen so desperately in love with Tomonori that the mere thought of “romancing” someone else breaks their hearts. Go play it and tell me if Tomo has any cute / snarky / sweet / sexy / romantic / just Tomo moments in it.

Probably some kind of -dere? He gives -dere vibes. I think there’s one that acts like a snob on the outside but secretly has a soft center. Yes. That is probably what he is.

From the scant knowledge I have of him, he uses magic to gain information a lot and is the only one who actually studies it. Divination Wizard. Alignment: Lawful Neutral, maybe? In Chapter 3 of Tomo’s route, he suggests they just let the tsuchigumo die and focus on the demon until Tomo points out that means they won’t be fighting the demon with full firepower. His objection to Tomo’s sly suggestion to “eliminate” the tsuchigumo is solely logical: that’s causing the exact thing Tomo claimed his plan would avoid. He gives off strong “rational scientist” vibes (layered on top of the -dere vibes).

Kodonomae

Shirtless eye candy.

Seems like a chill dude.

Eldritch Knight Fighter, maybe. Mostly uses a giant anime sword but can use some kind of water magic effectively. Alignment: no clue, but not Evil and probably not Lawful.

Aterui

Not over Gentoka. (Seriously, why is this guy even a romance option for Shiki? I got eight or nine chapters into his story, and although she was clearly crushing on him by that point, he still seemed much more interested in his old flame, pun intended.)

To clarify, I have nothing against gay people, or gay characters in otome. I just think it’s misleading for a romance game to make a route for a character who has no romantic or sexual interest in the player character— especially when he seems much more interested in someone else throughout the whole thing.

Honestly, just let me romance Aterui as Gentoka. That would be cool, and it would solve the issue of his lack of interest in Shiki. (Also, in a hypothetical world where they did release that route, they’d probably also have a route for Aki x Tomo, considering Tomo’s Winter Snowflakes story was released at the same time as Aterui’s. And considering Tomo’s idea of a joke when the two of them are “friends” is to tie Akifusa up with rope and calmly say he’s going to leave Aki outside to die, you know that route would be kinky as fuck.)

Either Neutral or Chaotic Evil in most routes. The guy’s a serial killer murdering nobles for revenge against an atrocity none of them have personally committed by this point. In his own route, from what I remember, his killing did have more of an immediate justification, so maybe he gets bumped up to Neutral there.

I don’t know what class he is. Does it matter? Barbarian or Fighter. He’s pretty angry, but I can’t tell if that’s just his default state of being or if he gets even angrier in a fight.

Maybe also into BDSM / a dom, but if he is, it’s exclusively physical sadism. Just sheer brutal violence. Then again, I’m basing that on the time he tried to choke Shiki to death, and I don’t know if he actually enjoyed that or if he was just losing his temper. Tomo clearly gets a kick out of tying people up, ordering them around, and “punishing” them in a few notable cases; Aterui just really likes committing violence and killing people.

…Please don’t hate me for saying any of that.

[raccoon-eyed-rebel]

I am so beyond excited it's finally here (even though I've already read it), because now I get to tell you exactly what I think of it in front of all of Tumblr, and I am hyped!!!!!

First of all: I still can't believe that me asking for a biker sandwich turned into this. When I asked you that, I expected a threesome, not this adorable little polycule, and I am so beyond fucking grateful for it! 🥺❤️

And you didn't just give me this goodness, you gave me 10k worth of it! Again: eternally grateful! Thank you bestie!!! ❤️

I know you struggled to write this, but it turned out to be so goddamn beautiful! (Now that I know wonderful things happen outside of your comfort zone, you better watch out 😈)

Now, let's get in there. Let's really get in there!!! Because it deserves it!!!

Spoilers under the cut

Now, for that first bit... (We're gonna be quoting a lot of stuff later, don't worry!) You know I hate angst. (For someone who hates angst, I sure write a lot of it, I know...)

And I hated this angst more than anything because the whole time I'm sitting here like: "YOU ALL LIKE EACH OTHER YOU FUCKING RIDICULOUS BUNCH OF RIDICULOUS FUCKS, NOW KISS!"

But nooooooo you had to go out and make me wait like... what? 5000 words?? Until that finally happened????

Now... Let's take a look at my favorite bits, okay?

So you got up and walked into the woods, trying to bring yourself to reason.

I still think 'bringing yourself to reason' is an interesting way of saying 'jerking off'. Just saying.

You changed into dry clothes, but the guys decided to just switch to new shorts, neither of them bothering to put on a shirt.

NO. I want to thank you for the mental image BUT I WON'T BECAUSE I STILL WON'T GET DICK FOR SO LONG IT'S NOT EVEN FUNNY! I HATE YOU (affectionate)

You even arranged some fairy lights on the ceiling, making it look more romantic and comfy.

Did I ever tell you about my insane love for fairy lights, or was this a lucky guess? Literally... The quickest way to my heart is with fairy lights and I love that they're in here... (Please let the big 3 people bed in the end have a metal frame I can wrap fairy lights around... Also very useful for tying people up, just saying.)

“Who the hell bails out of the opportunity to lick you clean?”

Idk? I know I fucking wouldn't??? Bring me those honey-covered abs, boy... Or I'll just lick his dick with no honey involved that's also fine.

“We’re working on it, babe!” he told you with a wink.

adsjkfalsdkfjladjkfl WE SURE ARE NOW!!!!!

You feared you wouldn't find sleep at all, but this storm of feelings had brought exhaustion with it, and you fell asleep shortly after your shameful rapture.

You know I think this is a great line, and I know I already squealed over it when I read this for the first time, but adlskfja;ldkf I love this so much!!!!!

This pained expression in his eyes, full of longing and desire, it wasn't meant for you. It was all for Mike.

Poor little baby... Let Mike kiss it better... NOW!~!!!! (But noooooooooooooo we're still waiting....)

To your shock, Nina started to laugh. Not the sad, sarcastic chuckle you deserved but her bright, joyful laughter that made you call her your ray of sunshine.

Melot... Such a masochistic, hurt little puppy... This just actually feels so fucking in character for him it's not even funny. It's okay, Mel, you can't help it... You don't deserve anything bad, even if I wasn't on board with this 🥺❤️❤️

“If we’re lucky, we can share our love. And if we aren’t, we can share our heartache."

10/10, love this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You bit down a sarcastic chuckle. "You are already doing too much."

I already squealed over this one as well.... adsl;kfjas;ldk It's so good. A) Sarcastic chuckles are my favorite. B) It's such a don't-take-this-hint-please kind of hint... I bet if anyone had asked him what he meant he would have responded with a sulky 'doesn't matter' or 'nevermind' and have stomped off like an angry teenager.

That’s when Mel rushed forward. His mouth was on Mike’s before you could even blink. It looked awkward, there were noses brushing against each other, teeth clicking, as they were trying to find the right position, but in the end it was the sweetest kiss you had ever witnessed.

AWKWARD FIRST BOY KISS HECK YEAH!!!!! I love this so much. And I'm so glad you put it in there. It's like... Such a sweet first kiss, and so much to worry about and everyone's a li'l insecure about it and whatnot... I love it, it's great <3

Turning your attention to Nina, you pulled on the strings to undo her bikini top and both Mike and you grabbed a handful of her tits.

Well yes.... They did that. They really just... And nobody expected anything else, right? And if they did expect something else.... Well that's on them, then.

"This is heaven! Boobies and dick, all for me!" You were totally in love with this stupid dork.

Oh, Mikey...... *shakes head* *also grins like crazy*

Wait? Did you have two boyfriends now? Didn’t matter.

YES IT DOES MATTER!!!!! AND YES. MINE. BOTH MINE. ALL MINE. MINE.

"Wow, did that hurt? That’s cool! When did you get that? Does it do anything for you during sex? Can I touch it?" she blurted out, making you laugh.

I can't describe how much I love that this actually pretty much verbatim made it in here, because holy mcfucking hell. Like I told you.... I mean who doesn't have this reaction when all of a sudden faced with the first pierced dick they've ever seen? Like??? I mean this is what I would do.

And then that sweet SWEET ending... That's more of a cliffhanger, really...

I am absolutely going to annoy you into the grave about the blowjob contest, and whatever fun little drabble you have planned for the three of us because aldskfja;ldskfj I need more of these boys I just legitimately love them so much and I can't thank you enough for writing this

xoxoxoxoxoxoxo Rodent bestie ❤️❤️

Hearts Too Big

Modern AU Melot (Tristan&Isolde) x OFC x Mike (Hellraiser)

summary: Nina goes on a camping trip with her boyfriend Mel and his cute neighbor Mike. Plenty of feelings - that’s the whole plot 

warnings: alcohol and drug use, vaginal fingering, anal fingering (F/M receiving) oral (F/M, M/F, M/M ), vaginal sex, anal sex (F receiving), double penetration

word count: 10,4k (sorry!)

Inspo boards

A/N: I told @raccoon-eyed-rebel (in a tumblr post that I can’t find anymore) that I had plans on making Mikey her partner in Ray Of Sunshine. This exploded into a whole universe of its own in our heads (we share our brains from time to time) and you will get a lot of biker boys in the future because I know Nina won’t stop asking for more. This one got quite big, quite queer and quite Nina-indulgent. It’s Melot and Mikey, it’s bi and it’s polyamorous, so if that’s not for you, feel free to NOT read it. And if that doesn’t draw you off, enjoy!  This one was really hard for me to write, took me a month, I went through highest highs and lowest lows. And I feel both excited and anxious posting it. So please, more than ever, tell me what you think about it! I need feedback for this one, every word from you will mean the world to me!

Not a good idea! Not a good idea at all. Nervously, you gazed at the hands of your boyfriend, drumming on the steering wheel to the beat of the song that was playing. His eyes lit up as he met yours through the rearview mirror, and your heart stopped for a beat. You were still so madly in love with Mel.

But then you turned your head to the passenger seat, where Mikey sat. His feet were folded under his cute butt as he tried to make sense of the map that lay in his lap. 

You had really tried not to crush on him. But soon after he moved into the apartment next to Mel, you knew you had no chance. It was absolutely impossible not to fall for him. Which meant you were screwed. Well, until yesterday you had at least thought you were safe, just ogling Mike from afar and maybe sometimes including him in your little daydreams. Until Mel told you about that ugly break up between Mike and his boyfriend that had left him crying in the hallway. Mel wanted to cheer him up. They had become friends and Mel wanted to be there for him. And this meant Mel asked you to take Mike with you on your trip along the coast. 

You had been planning it for weeks. Mel had bought the old camper van, you both spent your free time working on it to make it more comfy. You had planned every segment of the trip. And most of all, you had planned where you wanted to fuck. Because, to be honest, the main purpose of this whole trip was to fuck Mel the whole day and night everywhere you were going to stop. That wouldn’t be happening now.

You said no at first. Not only because you would rather not cancel the main activity that you had planned, even more so because you were panicking at the thought of having to spend days in a small car together with those two. You wouldn’t be able to hide how much you were attracted to Mike. And you couldn’t hurt Mel. 

In the end, your brain decided to stop working when Mel gave you this look of a sad puppy that you could never resist and you agreed. Mel had asked Mike to join you and the boys were soon making the last preparations for your tour. You sat next to them and just watched them talking and laughing. Yes, you were definitely screwed. All you could think of was kissing them. Both! 

You stared at the map in front of you. Not that you really tried to find the right direction. You just needed to keep your eyes from Mel and Nina. Maybe it wasn’t your best idea to agree to join them. But to be fair, you hadn’t had your best day yesterday. Why did you just always manage to destroy every relationship you had? You really liked Will. You tried to make it work. But Will soon got jealous. And rightfully so. Why couldn’t you just stop thinking about others? About Mel. About Nina. Your heart was just too big for one person. 

However, going on a trip with the exact two people who were, unbeknownst to them, responsible for your break-up, was probably one of the worst decisions you had ever made. Now it was too late. Somehow you were going to make it work. Hopefully, without making a fool of yourself and without ruining another relationship. 

A hand brushing over your thigh got you out of your thoughts. You sucked in some air in surprise and raised your gaze to Mel. 

“Could you please hand me a bottle of water, Mike?” Mel looked at you, and it took you a second to comprehend that you were supposed to do something. Right! Getting some water for Mel. You turned to the back of the van, where Nina’s head was sunken onto the side of the car. She looked too cute, her mouth slightly open as she was sleeping. Now that explained why Mel had asked you for water and not Nina who was sitting next to the cooler. You needed to crawl back to reach it. And as you did so you couldn’t hold yourself back, you brushed some strands of hair from Nina’s face, your fingers lingering probably a little too long on her soft skin.

As you handed the water to Mel, your hands touched for a moment. Your heart dropped a beat and there was this fluttery feeling in your stomach that you knew far too well. Oh no, it was getting worse. You were going to fuck this up badly.

You couldn’t be happier. You exchanged looks with Nina, sitting in the back seat, humming along with the music. Then you moved your head to watch Mike as he ruffled his nose, scanning the map. You had no idea why Mike was so focused on the map at all, you knew the directions you had to take. But you didn’t complain because you really liked how your friend looked so much happier than he had yesterday. Something about seeing Mike next to you made you feel excited, you just couldn’t put your finger on what it was exactly.

You stopped around midday at a small parking lot in the middle of nowhere. Nina had told you that there had to be a beautiful lake with a waterfall nearby, and you decided that this should be the spot to take your lunch break. The three of you packed some food and water in your backpacks and went on your way to find the lake. It took you only a few minutes of walking. Nina spread a blanket on the grass, and you all sat down cross-legged, munching on your sandwiches. Mikey jabbered without a pause, making Nina laugh. You leaned back onto your arms and closed your eyes, taking in the warmth of the sunlight, the smell of moss and wood, the gurgling sounds of the waterfall, Mike’s deep voice and your girlfriend’s bright laughter. It was just perfect. 

After you had finished your lunch, Nina took off her shoes and strode along the way through the shallow waters on the shore. You took the opportunity alone with Mike to check on him. The whole day you had been wondering if he was doing okay. Well, as okay as someone could be the day after they got their heart broken. He was a lot calmer than usual, and you really hoped that he didn’t regret coming with you. You put your hand on Mike’s shoulder. “How are you? Can you cope with me and Nina?” You nodded over to your girlfriend who was trying to make pebbles jump over the water. 

Mike looked at you through his lashes and smiled. Or attempted to smile because somehow it looked odd. Not his usual cute beam.

Fuck! What were you supposed to say? ‘I’m falling hard for you AND your girlfriend?’ That wouldn’t be smart. So you just nodded. 

“Yeah, it’s fine. I really appreciate that you try to distract me. And it’s working.” Working a little too well, to be fair. You turned to watch Nina. She was so cute, attempting to skip stones over the surface of the lake. And she was giving you a nice view every time she bent down to grab another pebble. You’d better get back to Mel. He was watching his girlfriend, too and the look on his face was just so adorable, you could kiss him right here and now. Damn it, Mikey, what made you think spending a whole weekend with the two of them would be anything but a disaster? You were desperately trying to think of something else when a gush of cold water startled you, making you and Mel both jump up in surprise. Nina was snickering, proud of herself for making both men scream like school girls. But as you started to run into the lake, she screamed herself and tried to get away from you. Mel followed foot and you both chased her down, ending up in a tangle of limbs and giggles when both of you finally lunged for her. 

When you stood up again, all three of you were laughing and spluttering. And your heart was about to burst. Having them both in your arms was just the best feeling ever. 

If you didn’t want to wreck another relationship, you had to retreat. You stepped back, waddling towards the shore and sat down on the grass. A heavy lump formed in your stomach as you watched Mel and Nina. They were laughing and kissing and running their hands all over each other’s bodies. It was the most beautiful thing ever and yet, it crushed you to look at it. 

You pulled your wet shirt over your head and dropped it next to you. Mel and Nina’s kisses were getting more intense and your body reacted to it. Carefully you tried to adjust your pants, which wasn’t really successful as they were dripping wet, too. So you got up and walked into the woods, trying to bring yourself to reason.

You had noticed that Mike was leaving you alone, and you wondered what he was thinking. It wasn’t very empathetic of Mel and you to give Mike such a show while he was trying to get over his heartache. It was just so hard not to get handsy with Mel when he was standing so close to you, completely wet.

You pushed Mel away from diving his head into your cleavage. He pouted at you but as he saw the concerned look on your face, he understood. 

“We better get going,” he just said and turned to walk back to the shore. He was still hard, and you just hated to see him leave like this, but you knew it was the right thing to do. When you had packed everything, Mike was back too, and you headed back to the van.

You changed into dry clothes, but the guys decided to just switch to new shorts, neither of them bothering to put on a shirt.

Great! So now you were not only stuck with your boyfriend and your crush, no, now you had to endure them half naked for the rest of your ride. Which luckily didn’t take too long, and somewhere along the way you even managed to think of something other than being sandwiched between the two of them. 

You had picked out a small secluded cove for the stop of the night. Mel and Mike went to gather some wood for a campfire. Meanwhile, you rearranged the van to build comfortable beds for Mel and you and Mike. The pop top roof was meant to be your bedroom and Mike got the back of the van to himself. You even arranged some fairy lights on the ceiling, making it look more romantic and comfy. 

As the boys got back, you all worked together to make yourself some pasta for dinner. And after that, you spent the evening at the fire, talking and laughing. 

At some point, Mel took his guitar and started to play. You leaned your head on his shoulder and stretched your legs over Mikey’s thighs. You didn’t even think about what you were doing. It just felt natural and somehow domestic. 

After two beers and a shared joint, Mike got all talkative again, telling you the most ridiculous stories about his love life. You hung on every word he spoke, and Mel did the same. You cuddled together around the fire and everything just felt perfect.

“And then I rubbed a whole glass of honey all over my body, from my neck down to my toes. I was completely covered with that sticky mess. Don’t ask me what I was thinking because I wasn’t! And then she sent me a text that she wouldn’t come over. So, I had ruined my phone, and it took me the entire night to get myself and the bedroom rid of that sticky shit. Advice from me: Don’t overdo things for food play!” You giggled. “Who the hell bails out of the opportunity to lick you clean?” The words were out of your mouth before you could think. You bit your lip in regret, but the guys just laughed at your comment.

Mike cocked his head. “I think I am talking way too much. What about your most stupid sex accidents? I want to hear, please!” Mike was just as successful as Mel at making the most adorable puppy eyes as he looked at you two.

Mel snorted: “Not nearly as entertaining as yours, Mike, but I once tried my best to show my dominance and threw that girl onto the bed only to break my toe on the bed frame the next second. So I was curled on the floor, crying like a baby, instead of manhandling her. Ruined the mood pretty quickly!” All three of you chuckled at that before the eyes of both boys turned to you expectantly.

You turned away shyly, not wanting to appear boring. “I don’t really have anything to tell,” you admitted. “I am not that experienced in this area.” You felt the heat crawling up your neck and ears.

Mel sensed your discomfort and pulled you closer in his arms. “We’re working on it, babe!” he told you with a wink

You knew it wasn't going to be easy. But in no way had you expected how much this whole trip would mess with your heart. There was only so much longing a man could handle. And this was too much. 

You had to focus on every word, on every movement tonight, not to let the affection you felt for Mel and Nina show. Maybe you weren't trying hard enough. The way your heart started racing when Nina put her feet in your lap. And the way Mel looked into your eyes as you tried to hide your feelings by telling all these stupid stories. Surely, they must have seen how much you felt for them?

As you lay in your bed and stared into the darkness, you debated with yourself whether you should open up about your feelings. But did you really want to risk your friendship? Their relationship? No, you had to suffer in silence.

You chuckled sadly as you recognized the sounds coming from the roof. They were trying to be quiet. But of course, they couldn't be so careful that they were completely silent while fucking in an old camper van. There were the creaks of the old vehicle, the stifled moans, the small giggles. You imagined what it would be like to join them. It wasn't difficult, you had pictured them in your head before. And after this day, where you were able to watch them and feel them… It was easy. 

Your hand slipped into your boxers. It wrapped around your hard cock, and you started to stroke yourself slowly, with a tight grip. It was hardly enough to still your desire, but you could at least ease a little of the tension that had been building up the whole day. Nina’s small whimpers shot straight into your guts. 

Then there was this grunt that must have escaped Melot's lips. You tried to hold back your own sounds of pleasure as you rubbed your thumb over your leaking tip, spreading the beads of pre-cum all over your dick. You thought of how their bodies slammed into each other. How Nina's wonderful tits bounced as Mel rutted into her. You pictured yourself being part of it. How you would lap at her core, how you would kiss him and let him taste his girlfriend on your tongue. How you would tremble when his hands finally touched you. 

Shit, you had lost all control, panting heavily as you looked down at the mess you had made all over your chest. Surely, you had been too loud. 

But you could still hear them. Maybe they hadn't noticed, in their own euphoria.

You feared you wouldn't find sleep at all, but this storm of feelings had brought exhaustion with it, and you fell asleep shortly after your shameful rapture.

You almost fell asleep at the fire, snuggled against Mel and Mike. You felt so happy, so cared for. Your heart was full, it felt…complete.

Mel had taken you back to bed at some time. And as you climbed up to the mattress on the roof you were immediately awake again, hungry for Mel's touch. You needed him now.

As you pressed your palm against the semi hard cock in his boxers, he hissed. 

“We need to be quiet!” he told you, only to groan once more, when your fingers circled over the sensitive spot on his frenulum. Happy to draw this reaction out of him, you giggled.

You freed his cock, which was far from semi by now. His boxers were already ruined from the pre-cum that leaked from his slit.

With soft, open-mouthed kisses you descended from Mel's lips, moving over his whole chest until you reached your destination. Your tongue darted out to lick at what was left of the salty evidence of his arousal.

Closing your lips around his swollen tip, you started to move your head up and down, your cheeks hollowed. You would never get used to how good he felt in your mouth. Your hand came to aid, wrapping around his shaft, close to his root and mirroring your movements.

His muscles tensed with every little bit of sensation you gave him. 

The air in the tent was damp, and sweat was running down your spine. You stopped for a moment, thought you heard something, but you didn't notice anything now.

Melot guided you to look at him. He gave you a pleading look and hooked his finger, silently telling you to get up to him.

When your faces were pressed against each other again, he whispered in your ear:

“I need to fuck you so badly, baby!”

You happily obliged and straddled his thighs. It wasn't easy to move in the cramped space of the van. When the car creaked under your actions, you suppressed a giggle. 

After finally finding a comfortable position, you raised your hip and sank down again, this time with Mel’s cock stretching you open.

Both of you needed to move slowly, but after the constant buildup of sexual tension throughout the day, it took little to bring you pleasure. You felt every twitch, every bit of friction inside of you. And when Melot's fingers pinched your sensitive nipples you couldn't hold back some whimpers. 

You looked into Mel's eyes, his face glowing from sweat in the shine of the fairy lights. His self-control was just as close to being shattered as yours. 

Leaning back, you found a new angle that hit you exactly where you needed him. The rhythm to which you moved your hips got faster. You were almost there. Your hand ran up Mel's inner thigh until they reached his balls. They were drenched in your arousal.

He clenched his jaw as you ran your fingers up and down to spread your juices even further. Leaning forwards, you found access to move your fingers briefly between his cheeks.

The sound he made as you slowly brushed over his tight entrance was almost enough to make you cum.

Your eyes met and you shared a small smile. 

Slowing down your rhythm as you tried to catch a breath, you heard him: Stifled moans, coming from below. Your pussy clenched around Mel's cock as you thought about what Mike was doing to himself. 

You had stopped moving but Melot rutted into you, jerking his hips up as hard as he could. 

Mike must have been close now, by now he had completely forgotten to stay calm. Your gaze fell upon Mel and what you saw just turned your whole world upside down. This pained expression in his eyes, full of longing and desire, it wasn't meant for you. It was all for Mike.

As you sat by the fire, you thought about your day, and you came to the conclusion that it was just perfect. Better than it could have been without Mike, like you had originally planned.

No, it felt so good to have him with you. You all had so much fun. 

When you had seen him the day before, curled up on the floor and crying, your heart broke for him. And seeing him now, laughing again. It did something to you: A warm feeling spread in your chest.

But now it was getting late. Mike had already gone to bed and Nina's head lay heavy on your chest now, too. You pulled her in your arms and carried her to the camper. As you stood at the ladder you still wondered how you could get your sleeping girlfriend up to your bed when she stirred in your arms.

“Put me down, Mel, I can walk!” Her voice was husky. You did as she told you, but when she tried to climb the ladder, you had to steady her, putting both your hands on her magnificent ass. Nothing to complain about.

The bed on top of the van was just beautiful. Nina lit up the fairy lights and dragged you down to her. 

She was very much awake again, you noticed, as she pressed her soft body against yours. 

As her hand found its way to your growing erection, you tried your best to keep quiet, not quite successful. It got even harder when she wrapped her beautiful soft lips around your cock. Pressing your heels into the mattress, you focused to keep at least a little composure not to wake Mike.

There was some rumbling down in the van and Nina stopped for a second. 

It was a perfect opportunity to guide her up to you again. You were so desperate to feel her warm, wet pussy around your cock. Luckily, she needed you as much as you needed her. 

She rode you way too slowly. Your dick craved every little bit of movement she gave you. You fought hard not to take over control and fuck her hard. Feeling for her heavy breasts and rolling her hardened buds in your fingers, also wasn't helpful to calm you down. You drank in the picture before you. She was so fucking gorgeous as she rocked her hips.

When she repositioned herself and let her hands run over your thighs, you lost it. Her fingers worked eagerly over all these sensitive spots. Spots where you hadn't been touched before. A loud moan escaped your mouth at the unfamiliar feeling. All this made you feel so needy.

Your eyes shot open as you realized what the sounds you heard, coming from below you, meant. Suddenly, there was this image of Mike in your head. You pictured him pumping his cock. You pictured his face, frowning in effort. You pictured touching him, helping him with his endeavors. Whatever it was that made you feel this way, you couldn't change it. And so, you just accepted it, as you fucked your girlfriend, thinking how desperately you wanted to kiss the man that lay in the bed below you two. 

You stared into the night and listened to the noises that Nina and Mike made in their sleep. You weren’t able to stop thinking. What were you supposed to do?

As you realized that sleep wasn't an option anyway, you decided to get up. Maybe it was easier to form some clear thoughts if you got some fresh air, away from the soft and warm body of the woman you loved.

You carefully climbed down from the roof of your van and sat down by the smoldering fire. 

By now you had accepted that there was more than just friendship you felt for Mike. But you still felt the same deep love for Nina as before. How was this supposed to work? 

There was some rustling and, before you could turn, a pair of hands ran down from your shoulders to your chest. Nina wrapped you in her arms as she sat down behind you.

"We should talk!" she whispered softly in your ear. 

"About what?" Your heart was pounding in your chest. Yet, you still hoped that she wasn’t aware of your feelings.

"About Mike!" Panic started to build in your center. So it was that obvious? After a deep inhale, you turned so you could look at Nina. You took her hands in yours and sighed. How should you even start a conversation like this? 

But you didn't have to search for words as Nina began to speak: "Melot, I saw it. What you feel for him. Your face is like an open book. And it's okay. We can't fight what we feel. Just be honest with me, okay?" She looked at you with a shy smile and big eyes. You swallowed down a sob that tried to escape you. It was never your intention to hurt anyone. But that was probably what was about to happen as soon as you started to speak.

"I didn't know, not until I heard him. And it doesn't change anything I feel for you, babe. I love you!" It sounded ridiculous and yet, it was the truth. 

To your shock, Nina started to laugh. Not the sad, sarcastic chuckle you deserved but her bright, joyful laughter that made you call her your ray of sunshine. 

"Just look at us. So happily in love, and yet we both fall for someone else. For the same guy even." Your eyes widened when you perceived the meaning of Nina's words.

“Wait! What?” you stuttered. “You feel the same? What… What’s wrong with us, Nina?” This whole situation was becoming more and more like a dream. Your whole body was shaking and your eyes searched for Nina’s in hopes that she could somehow help you out of this nightmare.

And she could: “Nothing is wrong with us, Melot. It looks as if our hearts are too big for loving just one person.” She chuckled softly. “There’s enough room for Mike to join.”

Tears gathered in the corner of your eyes as you realized that Nina wasn’t mad at you. That you wouldn’t lose her. Relief rushed through you, it felt like a heavy stone was lifted off your chest. Nina pulled you closer into her embrace and kissed away the tears that had found a way down your cheeks. 

Your voice was still trembling as you dared to speak again: “Nina, I was so scared you’d hate me! I don’t ever want to lose you!” She pressed a firm kiss onto your lips. 

“Melot, you fool, you won’t lose me. I’ve never felt so much for a person as I feel for you.” With more kisses, you tried to calm your overflowing emotions. It took you a while until you finally could get back to talking.

“But what about Mike?” You couldn’t just ignore the affection that you both had for him. 

Nina sighed and with a look on her face that told you she wasn’t nearly as sure about this as it sounded, she said: ”We need to talk to him. We should ask him if he wants to join us”

You shook your head in disbelieve. “Like what? Hey, you wanna fuck my girlfriend - and me?” Your voice cracked as you spoke the last words and panic rose in your chest once more. “Damn, that feels strange! I never…” You couldn’t end the sentence, but Nina knew what you wanted to say anyway. She pulled you closer once more and soothed you with her fingers running through your hair and the warmth of her body pressed against you. When she was convinced that you were as relaxed as one could be, who just found out that they were not as straight as they had always thought they were, she spoke again:

“Let’s take our time and see what happens. Maybe carefully test the waters. See how Mike reacts to us.” A reassuring smile spread over her pretty face. “If we’re lucky, we can share our love. And if we aren’t, we can share our heartache."

You spent way too much time hiding in the van after you woke up, not wanting to see either of them. You feared they had heard you last night and alone by thinking of it, you felt the blood rush through your ears. But that wasn’t the only cause for your retreat. You were sure you couldn’t face another day in their presence. How could you ignore your feelings? You were someone who carried their heart on their sleeve. You were someone who was expressive with their emotions. Keeping them shut away was completely against your nature. 

But, you could brood as long as you wanted, at some point, you couldn’t ignore any longer that you really, really had to pee. 

To your surprise, you found them sleeping, cuddled into blankets at the dying campfire. After you had relieved yourself, you got back to the camp. Melot and Nina were both stirring in their makeshift bed on the grass. You silently turned and decided to get more wood for the fire so you could make some much needed coffee.

When you returned with an armful of branches, Mel and Nina were both awake. They greeted you smiling, and you were grateful that, if they had noticed you tonight, they were kind enough to just ignore it.

Mel helped you to start a new fire and Nina prepared the coffee and cut some fruit.

There was an awkward silence as you all went about your work. But when you sat down on a trunk, Nina squatted down between your thighs and gazed softly at you with her beautiful brown eyes. 

"How are you doing, love?" The pet name made your heart flutter, and you didn't know how to take it. Melot stood behind you and joined the conversation: "Are you still thinking of Will?" 

You carefully chose the words for your response: "To be honest, it wasn't ever much about Will. Hell, this sounds mean, but it's the truth. We split up because I fell in love. And it obviously wasn’t Will I fell for." You closed your eyes for a second, thinking back to the awful last conversation you had had with your ex-boyfriend.

"He noticed how I looked at them, how I yearned for them." As you stared off into the distance, you didn't notice the looks that Mel and Nina exchanged with each other. 

Nina put both of her hands on your knees and slowly brushed them up and down your thighs. Her touch shot straight to your heart, and you could barely hold back the moan that threatened to escape your mouth. 

To make it even harder, Mel sank his palms onto your shoulders and massaged your tense muscles. Electric shocks ran through your body as they touched you like this. 

"Is there anything we can do for you?" Melot asked, his voice dropping. 

You bit down a sarcastic chuckle. "You are already doing too much."

You had the window rolled down and enjoyed the wind in your hair. On the outside you might have appeared calm, but there were a thousand thoughts racing through your mind. Within the last twenty-four hours, the whole idea of your relationship had changed into something new. Something that had you getting excited but also scared.

The realization of Melot’s feelings for Mike had felt like a hit in your guts for a few seconds, until you admitted to yourself that it was only fair to allow him to feel the same way you did. And not long after, you came to the conclusion that it was probably the best thing that could ever happen to you, that your man shared your crush on Mike with you. The night by the fire with Melot in your arms, you felt closer to him than ever before and though you thought it wasn’t possible, it felt like your love for this man grew even bigger. Your thoughts drifted to another scene earlier that day that made your heart jump. Mike confessed he was falling in love. He didn’t tell you with whom. But maybe your senses didn’t trick you and there was something between him and the both of you. Maybe his heart was racing just as much as yours when he touched you. And maybe the way he looked at Mel when he thought no one was watching was really the yearning you thought you recognized.

You could have just asked him, but you didn’t dare. And so Mel and you chose to just tease the hell out of Mike and wait for his reaction. Mel turned to you for a second, as you were in the passenger’s seat today, and smiled mischievously. His hand dropped to your thigh and his fingers dug into your flesh. Yeah, you should take another turn teasing Mikey, so you got up and crawled between the seats, trying to give Mike a perfect view of your cleavage as you pretended to search for something in one of the bags in the back seat. You moved as slowly as possible, brushing your fingers along Mike’s calves, making it look like it was just an accidental touch. And with satisfaction, you saw how Mike tensed at the contact. He clenched his jaw and his eyes widened just for the part of a second. Yes, he wasn’t unaffected by you. 

Mel stopped when he found another beautiful deserted beach. It was a hot day, and you decided that swimming was a better option than going for a hike. 

You changed into your bikini in the camper and as you stepped out into the sun you smiled. Mel was standing with his back to you and Mike was close to him, rubbing sunscreen onto the tattoos on your boyfriend’s skin. You joined them, taking the sunscreen tub, and you started to work on Mike’s back. He felt so good under your hands. When every bit of skin on all three of you was cared for, you made your way into the waves. Mike and Mel had fun chasing you once more. The three of you were screaming and laughing and soon enough you had found yourself in an entanglement of arms and bodies again. It was just perfect, this was how you wanted it to be, from now on, until forever.

There were hands on your waist, and you couldn’t even tell to whom they might belong. Another arm wrapped around you and tugged you down into the water. You felt lips on your neck. When you turned, you looked into the eyes of your boyfriend, and they were sparkling with joy. He pressed a firm kiss onto you and grabbed your hand. As you followed him back to the shore, you realized that in his other hand he held Mike and pulled him with you, too.

Mel dropped down onto your blanket and Mike and you both followed him. Mel moved you to straddle him and shared a deep kiss with you. You answered him, opening up, letting his tongue enter and explore you. Mel's hands cupped your breasts through the thin, wet fabric of your bikini, sending shivers down to your core. But then you heard a frustrated grunt and pulled back. Mike sat next to you with an expression that you didn’t know from him. There was a deep frown on his face and if you were to guess, you would say he looked hurt. 

When Mike saw that he got the attention of both Mel and you, he started to ramble:

“Sorry guys, I can’t take it anymore! You are both playing with my feelings! This might be fun for you, but it’s not for me. In fact, it hurts like hell. All your looks, all your touches, do you realize what they do to me? You are not helping me, all you’re doing is make me fall even harder for you two!”

That’s when Mel rushed forward. His mouth was on Mike’s before you could even blink. It looked awkward, there were noses brushing against each other, teeth clicking, as they were trying to find the right position, but in the end it was the sweetest kiss you had ever witnessed. And it was your boys who were kissing. They were yours.

You were so fucking nervous as you watched Mikey through the rearview mirror. He looked tired and tense. And yet, he was just so beautiful. Nina found ways to taunt him from time to time, and it was too cute to see him blush. When you saw the beach, you knew you had to stop. Just thinking about fooling around with them in swimwear made you lose your mind. And you were just about right. You weren’t even in the water before you were a total mess. Did you really have the stupid idea to ask Mike if he could help you with the sunscreen on your back? Well, you didn’t want to ruin your tattoos, right? But there you were, trying your best to hide all the emotions that you felt as Mike let his hands roam over your skin. They were soft and warm and yet, they gave you goosebumps wherever he touched you. He was so close. You just needed to turn and kiss him. But you couldn’t. Not yet. Nina joined you, applying some sunscreen on Mikey, and you did the same for her. As you went to extra lengths to take care of the sensitive skin of her breasts, you saw Mikey’s Adam’s apple bob as he swallowed hard. It was really time to get into the cool water or else your heart would overrule your mind, and you would do things you just shouldn’t do. Nina was the first to run into the waves and Mike and you followed her. All of you were screaming and laughing, trying to get one another to dive into the water. Your heart jumped as you felt Mike tickling your side. Then you had Nina in a tight grip. You pressed your lips on her neck and sucked at her soft skin. First you looked into Nina’s eyes and realized that she was just as happy as you were. And then you turned to study the deep blue eyes of Mike. You saw that bittersweet expression that you knew from yourself. He was longing for you. For both of you most likely. You decided that you had to go all in now. There was no way to drag this out any longer without hurting someone. You grabbed both the hands of your girlfriend and of Mike and guided them back to the beach. 

There was no plan you could follow, and your brain wasn’t working properly at the moment, so you just improvised. You dropped to the ground, taking them both with you. Not daring to touch Mike, you started to kiss Nina, pulling her into your lap. Her nipples, hard from the cold water, were peeking through the fine material of her bikini, and you couldn’t just ignore it. You cupped her breasts, deepening your kiss. Now you needed to find a way to let Mike know that you wanted to share this with him. But there was no need to because Mike was done with the teasing. He was so angry and it was so adorable. And as he confessed that he was really falling for both of you, you couldn’t hold back any longer. You pulled his face to yours and, your heart dropping a beat, you pressed your lips on his. It felt so different, so new. Your nose was in your way, and you were moving way too fast. But it was such a great feeling. Mike’s tongue was exploring you, and you sank your hand into his wet curls to pull him as close to you as you could. Nina, who was still sitting in your lap, wriggled between the two of you, and you finally pulled back to look at her. Your heart was racing. What if she changed her mind? What if she couldn’t see you kissing someone else? But then you saw her face and she looked happy and - proud. Her hand cupped Mike’s cheek, and she started kissing him just as passionately as you had a second earlier. 

As you watched them, you felt your cock twitch in your pants. You wanted them, you wanted them both so badly. But just as you reached out for Mike’s chest, he pulled out of your embrace. He sat back, his eyes rushing from you to Nina and back to you. “Sorry, I need to know. Is this what you are doing here with me a casual hookup? Because I can’t do that. I can’t have my heart broken again.” Nina took his hand and answered him, a soft smile on her face: “No, Mike, we’re both so totally into you. We want to ask you if you would like to be part of what we have.” His eyes went big as saucers and his head turned to you, looking at you quizzically. You nodded. “You have to be patient with me. I’ve never been with a guy before. But I really, really can’t stop thinking of you.” 

Mike ran with his hand through his hair, still a look of disbelief on his face. But then he grew a smug smirk from ear to ear. “I think I just won the jackpot!”

You started kissing again, taking turns. Your hands were exploring each other's bodies. The sensations were overwhelming. Mike felt and tasted so different but just so good. The bulge in your pants grew with every touch. And then a hand pressed against your erection. Your gaze dropped: The hand belonged to Mike. For a moment, you froze in your movements. 

Mike must have sensed your hesitation because he removed his hand from between your legs and cupped your cheek instead. 

"Relax, we're just having fun. If you're not comfortable with something, let me know. But please let me try to make you feel good." His words soothed you. You covered his hand with yours and let your forehead sink against his.

"Okay!" Your words were barely a whisper. Mike rubbed his nose against yours, the cutest smile on his face. The kiss that followed was sweet and gentle. 

When he pulled back, Nina replaced Mike's spot on your mouth. You decided to close your eyes and just let whatever was about to happen, happen. 

There were lips and hands all over your body. A gasp escaped you as a hand slipped into your pants. They were sticky and wet, and you were eager to get them down. When you managed and your cock sprang free, you heard a deep moan. You opened your eyes and saw how Mike and Nina exchanged looks, Mikey biting his lip in anticipation.

Turning your attention to Nina, you pulled on the strings to undo her bikini top and both Mike and you grabbed a handful of her tits. It didn't take long until Mike replaced it with his mouth. And then you felt Mike's hand, skin on skin. Damn, why did this feel so good? He stroked you in slow motions. When his mouth left Nina's nipple he grinned at you.

"This is heaven! Boobies and dick, all for me!" You were totally in love with this stupid dork.

Somehow you found yourself lying on your back on the blanket. Nina was kneeling next to you, apparently just as excited as you, as Mike slowly descended your body. He pressed wet kisses on every bit of skin that he passed, until he stopped just inches away from where the tip of your cock lay heavy on your ab.

"Come here, baby!" you told your girlfriend and dragged her leg over you. You pushed her bikini to the side and guided her to sit on your face.

Nina was soaking wet and you devoured both her delicious pussy and the sweet sounds that she made in response. 

And then you felt Mike's wet, warm mouth. "Fuck!" To silence any other profanities that dared to escapeyou, you kept your tongue busy drawing circles around Nina's pearl. 

Mike knew exactly what he was doing, he found every spot that needed attention. It was sloppy and eager and you really had a hard time not forgetting that there was a pussy in your face that should be cared for. 

When Mikey started to hum with your dick deep down his throat, you lost it. You threw your head back. "Damn, Mike, you're really making it hard for me not to cum." 

Nina giggled as Mike hummed once more. They were fucking teases. She had moved and you couldn't reach her with your mouth anymore. Instead, she gifted you the best sight of your life: This curly head between your legs, your cock disappearing between those beautiful full lips and a pair of blue eyes gazing at you. And her own pair of eyes, switching between adoring that gorgeous guy giving you head and watching you, so much affection written onto her pretty face. 

With her hands and mouth gently caressing you, Nina moved further down your body. Mike straddled your leg, making room for Nina to join him. And she did. They took turns, licking along your shaft, sucking you and kissing each other. You were so close now, it was hard not to shut your eyes and let go, but you needed to enjoy this for a little longer. You needed to see their beautiful faces hovering over your cock. 

Nina stopped working on your dick and instead she moaned and whined, her eyes rolling back. You clearly recognized her O-face. Mike kept going, shoving you deep down his throat. Whatever Mike had done to Nina, he had brought her to collapse onto your side. She was trying to catch her breath, starfishing over your thigh. You took her hand and laced your fingers with her.

Mike repositioned himself and, pulling your leg up, he opened you wide. His fingers were wet, covered in Nina’s juices as they brushed over the sensitive area between your sac and your ass. “You want me to go lower?” His gaze was so lustful as he awaited your answer. Your voice broke as you mouthed a desperate “Please!”

Mikey’s finger carefully pushed into your puckered hole and at the same time he resumed his work with his mouth on your cock. You could hardly breathe at the sensation, your whole body felt like it was about to burst. And as Mike added a second finger, you were gone, seeing stars and shuddering uncontrollably as you exploded into his mouth.

It wasn’t by far the first time you rode your boyfriend’s beautiful face. But watching him getting a blowjob from this silly handsome boy while he licked and sucked at your clit? That was something else! You couldn’t even be mad when he stopped eating your pussy. You imagined what it must feel for him. And to be honest, you wanted nothing more in the world right now than to join Mike. You crawled down and settled on Mel’s thigh and Mike generously shared your boyfriend’s dick with you. Wait? Did you have two boyfriends now? Didn’t matter. You felt Mike’s finger running through your folds, and soon he had them deep inside of you. He found your most sensitive spot with ease and curled his fingers to hit you there over and over. You were a whimpering mess by now. Mike built so much pressure in your core, and when he used his palm to rub over your swollen bud, you snapped. You came undone, your juices gushing over his skillful fingers and your limbs finally gave out. You dropped onto Mel and couldn’t do anything other than breathe and watch Mike. 

You could hardly keep your eyes open but you had to. And it didn’t take long until you felt Mel trembling under your body, and you saw Mike swallowing the seed that Mel shot down his throat. 

A sound escaped you from deep in your throat and as Mike pulled away from Mel, your lips crashed into his. Your tongue tasted Mel as it brushed over his lips and when he opened them for you, the salty taste of Mel’s cum got even stronger. 

All of this made you so happy, you could cry. In fact, you noticed there were tears streaming down your face. Mel reached out for you and pulled you into his arms. Mike joined you on the other side of Mel’s chest and both men stroked your hair and back tenderly. Mike cooed soft words into your ear and Mel pressed kisses on your and Mike’s hair.

“Are you okay, sweetcheeks?” Mike’s eyesshowed concern. You nodded with a sniffle. “Yeah, I’m fine. I just love this so much. I’m happy. I really am!” Mel and Mike both kissed your forehead. You relaxed and sunk onto Mel’s chest, unable to tell if it were seconds or hours that passed until you could form a straight thought again. And that first thought was guilt. You felt bad for Mike who was still in his soaked swimming shorts while Mel and you were totally spent thanks to him. And yet, he was soothing you and didn’t push for you taking care of him eventually. 

You started to nestle on his shorts but Mike took your hands and pulled them up to his chest. “I know what you’re up to, sweetcheeks. But there’s no need to rush this. Mel and you both need a break. What about we’ll enjoy these cuddles a little more, then pack our stuff and get comfortable in the camper?” 

At first you wanted to protest, but Mel stopped you. “He’s right, Nina. Come here!” His lips felt warm and soft and his taste soothed you as his tongue found its way into your mouth. A sigh escaped you when he retreated and his lips left your mouth. 

But it was only a second that you lacked his warmth and smoothness, as Mike’s lips closed the gap that Mel had left.

The three of you fell asleep in each other’s arms. When you woke up you thought it was just a dream for a second, until you realized you were still resting your head on Mel’s chest and Nina’s hand was tangled in your hair. 

The rest of the day was just a happy bliss, feeling so comfortable around them now that no one had to hide their feelings anymore.The time was filled with more swimming, some shared sandwiches and those teasing little caresses that the three of you shared. Those caresses that made you want to take it further. But you wanted to do this right, you really felt so much for them already, and you'd hate to mess things up by rushing them into a situation they were not ready for. A little part of your heart still feared that they would regret their decision. 

That was until you took the last bags to the van. Nina and Mel were in the back of the camper and you overheard them talking:

“Mel, I still can’t believe this is happening.”

“I know, it’s so fucking perfect, isn’t it?”

“When I saw you with him… Damn, Mel, my heart melted!” “Stop it, I’m getting a boner just by thinking about how you two looked with my cock in your mouths.”

You cleared your throat before you opened the tailgate further to climb onto your mattress with them. There was no need to talk, they must have seen what you were craving as you kissed them hungrily. Mel didn’t hesitate to pull down your shorts. But then it was Nina who first took your hardening cock in her hand. 

"Wow, did that hurt? That’s cool! When did you get that? Does it do anything for you during sex? Can I touch it?" she blurted out, making you laugh. 

“Yes, it did fucking hurt, I got it when I was 18, it was a bet with a friend. Yes, it does something to me during sex. Best lost bet ever. And I’d love for you to touch it.” Nina bent down to examine your reverse prince albert piercing. Carefully, she let her fingers brush over the titanium ring and the pre-cum that leaked from the pierced flesh.

"It's gorgeous!" she remarked and you groaned as you watched her licking her fingers. Mel and you shared the same thought as you both pawed at Nina to get her rid of her clothes. 

Your piercing still had her very interested, as she sank her head into your lap and drew lazy circles around it with her tongue. Mel watched you, his fingers working on Nina and stroking himself. Oh, this was going to be fun!

She got you moaning and panting in no time, though the other two weren't exactly more subtle with the lewd sounds that left their lips. 

"Doing so good for us, baby!" Mel cooed, massaging the soft flesh of her ass. Oh, she liked that, you noticed, as she squirmed. 

"Such a good girl for us, just look at her, Mel! So eagerly sucking my dick!" Nina whined needily at the praises.   

You expected Mel to start fucking her, her rear pushed up high, inviting him. But he had other plans.

"Babe, where's the lube?" Nina couldn't answer him with her mouth stretched around your cock, so she just waved a hand into the direction of some bags. You were about to pull back to let her speak when Mel was successful in his search and started to coat his fingers.

When Mel entered her tight hole, Nina sucked on your dick like her life depended on it. You felt it shooting deep through your body. Cradling her head in both your hands you thrust into her mouth, drops of saliva running down Nina's chin and your thighs. She was so fucking gorgeous, whining around your cock. 

Mel added another finger, you felt it as Nina responded to it with more desperate moans and her technique getting to a point where it was just a hair's breadth from being uncomfortable.

Mel laid back, his head resting against the back seat. “Come here, baby!” Nina followed his orders and let him guide her to lean her shoulders on his chest, his hands on her hips as she slowly descended, his cock stretching open her puckered hole. When he was buried in her to his hilt, Mel covered her neck in kisses and little bites and more words of praise, whispered into her ear. 

You devoured the sight in front of you. Mel spread Nina's legs open wide over his thighs so you could see her dripping pussy, squeezing out more of her arousal as it clenched around nothing.

There was no way you wouldn’t dive between her legs. You lowered yourself, wrapping your arms around Mel’s thighs to keep you steady and put your mouth against her. She tasted like heaven, you thought, as you lapped through her open petals. When the tip of your tongue rolled over her swollen clit, Nina let out a moan. Was this your doing or Mel’s? You tried again, pressing your tongue down on her. This time there was no doubt you were responsible for her reaction. She repeated that sweet sound and her hand pressed your head to her core. She wanted to make sure you stayed exactly where you were. You took the invitation and kept doing what she longed for, dragging more moans and profanities from her lips as you kept working on her. Mel’s thrusts got faster, and you had to adapt your rhythm to follow him. You increased speed and pressure, and right when you thought your mouth was going to get numb, you heard Nina screaming your name, followed by a deep grunt from Mel. You looked up at them with a smile. Mel locked his eyes with yours and guided you to get up. Kneeling in front of them, Mel pulled you close and locked his lips with yours. His tongue darted out, desperate to taste Nina on you. When you pulled back, Mel brushed his thumb along your jaw and rubbed it over your lower lip. “Please fuck her, Mike. I want to feel you move inside of her cunt.” You gasped at the thought of it.

Yes, you really wanted nothing more than this. You asked if you needed a condom, but as you were all clean and Nina was on birth control, there was no need to. So you finally aligned yourself at her entrance and sank your cock between her soft, warm walls. 

Your heart raced as you were finally united with them. It took you a whileto find a position in which you were both comfortable, and able to bottom out because damn, you needed to feel as much of this as possible. When you had found the right position, you started to move. Feeling Mel thrust into Nina made it hard for you not to cum on the spot. Taking deep breaths, you focused on your motions. Your hips moved in a slow rhythm and your mouth searched for Nina and Mel and soon your bodies were moving in sync. As Mel pulled out you pushed in. Nina was alternating between whimpering and screaming whenever you left her lips. 

When Mel bit down hard on your lip, you knew he was fighting, too, to hold back his release. You kissed down his neck, sucked at the soft skin behind his ear and, between your own moans, you told him: “Cum for me, Mel. Cum for me and Nina!”

“Fuck!” Mel grunted, and he started to rut into Nina’s ass relentlessly, not holding back any longer. You stopped moving, just feeling how Mel’s dick pressed against yours as he moved. And you felt Nina clenching around your cock, close to her own climax. Mel threw his head back, another “Fuck!” pressed through his teeth. You held him, keeping him and Nina in place and resumed thrusting into Nina’s pussy. You didn’t hold back any longer either, and it took you only a few more strokes until you released yourself into her. It was hard not to collapse onto the mattress, but you needed to check on Nina. Mel was already pressing kisses on her cheek, but you held her close and started to kiss her other side. “Was I too fast for you?” you asked her, but Nina chuckled in return. 

“You were fucking me senseless and didn’t even notice?” she asked, making all of you laugh. And then the three of you settled down onto the mattress, a chaos of arms and legs and heaving chests.

It took you another two hours of cuddling, talking and kissing until you were ready to head back home. All bags were stowed away, Nina crawled into the backseat and Mel was sitting behind the steering wheel, waiting for you to get in. 

Your eyes drifted back to the beach where you kissed them for the first time.  The memory of the butterflies fluttering in your stomach at that moment made you smile. You’d had the perfect day here today!

You reached out for the passenger door handle of the van, but then you stopped. With a smirk on your face, you opened the rear door instead. „Would it be too mean if I spend the drive home in the back seat with Nina?“ you asked, giving Mel your best puppy eyes. He just shook his head in return and chuckled, which you took as his okay. 

Dragging Nina‘s legs over your thighs, you started kissing her before Mel was even out of the parking spot. 

You had one hand in Nina‘s shorts, the other one under her shirt and your tongue down her throat when you heard Mel‘s growl. „Just so you know, we‘re taking turns driving and making out in the back seat, okay?“

3 months later

When you put the comforters on the bed, your gaze wandered through the room. There were still a lot of boxes littered all over, but it already felt comfy. It felt like home. 

You smiled as you saw Mike's arm wrapped around Mels broad shoulder when they entered the room. Could they be any cuter? Your heart swelled with love and pride at the sight of your boyfriends.

"Is this your pillow in the middle?" Mel asked with a raised eyebrow as he looked at the oversized bed. You grinned mischievously at him.

"No way you'll get the middle spot. It's mine." Mel jumped onto the bed and grabbed your pillow. Before you were able to react in any way it landed in your face. 

And so, the next moment, three grown adults found themselves in a pillow fight. 

Mel had you pinned to the bed, ready to tickle you until you gave up, when Mike dropped next to you with a huge grin on his face. "Hey peanuts, stop it! I’ve got the solution." 

Mel stopped his attack but didn't let go of you just yet. You both looked expectantly at Mike. 

"I will give up my chance to get the middle spot. And I know how to decide which one of you two earns it." He paused for a more dramatic effect. "You compete with each other -" another pause and Mike's smile growing even wider… "in a blow job contest!" 

That smug bastard was so proud of his idea. You just laughed. But Mel took your pillow and threw it to the side of the bed, winking at you. "Make yourself comfortable over there, then, baby!" 

Then he slid down to kneel between Mike's thighs and started to unbutton the jeans of his boyfriend. 

[inactiveblog261838]

hi guys!

this will be the last post i make on this account, so i'm going to pin it once it's posted. it's mostly just kind of me rambling, so feel free to skip to the last paragraph if you're interested in following me on my new account. it will be linked at the end :3

honestly, i feel conflicted as i write this, but i think it's necessary. i have had this blog since i was in highschool. i've posted my writing here for at least 6 years!! over those years, i've gained what i consider to be a pretty big following– more than i've had on any other social media, at least, lol. anyways, i've been writing fanfiction since i was a kid, and for years i was embarrassed by it. i didn't think anything i wrote was worthy of being read, and i didn't think that anyone would like my writing. thanks to this website, i was proved to be very wrong. i've garnered over 5k notes on a fic that i wrote when i was 17– that's so many people!! even now, it's mindblowing to me how many people not only read the things i write, but actually enjoy them. i have received so much love and praise over the years, and i am eternally grateful to every single person who's ever liked, reblogged, or complimented my writing.

as i've had this blog for so long, my interests and my values have changed quite a bit since i was 16. when i first started gaining traction here, i didn't really think too hard about the nuances of being a creator. all i cared about was people liking the things i worked so hard on. it didn't matter who they were, as long as they liked me. over the last few years, i've become less and less active here as i've spent time navigating adulthood, as well as getting into new sources and trying to separate myself from certain older sources that i once wrote for. this blog has been with me through so many different phases of my life, and leaving it behind feels a bit disheartening, but i have taken a lot of time to think about who i am, who i post for, what i want to write about and what i want out of this hobby of mine– and so, i've come to the decision to start anew.

i will not be deleting this blog for several reasons. number one being my own nostalgic purposes. i would like to someday be able to look back and see how i've grown as a writer. i've poured a lot of effort, blood, sweat and tears into everything i've posted here. even the stuff that makes me cringe now. also, my fics still get a pretty surprising amount of attention, even the old ones, and though i'm not happy with some of them now that i look back on it, i can see that others enjoy them, and i don't want them to be lost forever (because i for one do NOT keep track of all the documents on my phone, so there's no option to repost them, lmao).

anyways, i'm saying all this to say THANK YOU to every single individual who has spent time reading my work, every person who's supported me, and every follower. i am endlessly grateful to you all for giving me the courage to keep posting my writing and sharing my thoughts with the world.

moving forward, you can find me at the blog linked below. it simply would take too much time to cleanse this blog of people and fandoms i don't want to further associate with, and honestly, a fresh start sounds rejuvenating. i hope everyone has a happy holiday season, and that the new year will bring you everything you could ask for. thanks for your support.

❤️

[megthemewlingquim]

someone new.

summary: there's an art to life's distractions.

pairing: eventual hades! loki x persephone! reader

warnings: implied smut, alcohol consumption

a/n: here it is, the first part of foreigner's god. as said in this fic's masterlist, these will not be chapters, but rather short stories and one shots that can be read separately or as one whole piece. it's up to you.

i plan to base each part off of one or two hozier songs. this is inspired by "someone new".

is there a right way to fall in love?

    that’s what loki asks himself every day — well, every night — when he spends his free time at bars and gatherings. populated widely with fellow gods, goddesses, and spirits of many colors and passions; these bars are perfect places to find someone new.

    being the god of death, however, puts loki at a bit of a disadvantage. yes, the stereotypes are, unfortunately, true. loki is dark, a little antisocial, and very quiet. beautiful in appearance — death is seductive, at least to the willing.

    ‘the willing’ being many a spirit, many a dryad or goddess or creature who wants bragging rights, or a little nightly thrill. ‘that’s right,’ they say, ‘i had a little dance with death last night.’

loki doesn’t mind the mornings when his temporary partners talk about the nights, but he always cringes when they mention that accursed french phrase — la petite mort. it’s a joke to them. a mockery.

   yet, they stay, and sometimes, they come back for another little death.

    the spirits and goddesses never make a big impact on him. he is with one for a night, then another for a night, and so on. he falls in love every day with someone new and it’s a bore. a bore and a drag.

    dark caresses don’t do much to numb the pain: the pain of loneliness and solitude. the ache in his heart is constant, tearing at his mind whenever it can. alcohol can't do much either — all gods have a very high tolerance. mead was made for them.

   so loki is left with no escape besides those that come from the willing. little deaths. they make him feel loved.

   no...

   no one loves death. some crave him. but they don't love him.

   that’s the common theme running through loki’s head every time he takes someone home with him, or goes upstairs with them to the top floors of the inns he’s at, where the bedrooms are. it’s a distraction.

   however, the cycle ends when, while pointlessly wandering around his usual bar, he sees someone new one night. you.

   you radiate this... this warmth that he’s never felt before. everyone around you seems to be affected by it too - they don’t treat you as the life of the party, but they do gravitate towards you like birds to a nest. 

    and you’re quite shy, but infectiously happy and cheerful. you’re so beautiful, with your bright eyes that he knows are wide and filled with wonder, and your lovely skin that he knows is so soft. and your smile that he knows is so comforting to all who see it.

   to everyone else, you feel like they’ve just wandered into a happy memory, or a sun-lit room that’s pleasantly warm and golden. you feel familiar. ordinary, but lovely all the same.

   to loki, you feel... feel like something he’s only experienced in dreams. so, really, he’s never felt it before in his immortal life: something warm and alive and... and anticipatory. like there’s new things about to come up to the surface — flowers, new animals, maybe. you give off a sense of... he can’t describe it well. a slow and joyful awakening something.

   and you also feel completely and utterly powerful. unstoppable. he’s terrified of you, and yet he’s drawn to you. you’re so fascinating, strange. not as if you could end the world, no, that’s his own job. but it’s as if you can bring the whole world to life, raise it back up again after the chaos fades.

   you feel like spring. like rebirth. like new life.

   and that’s when it hits him.

   persephone. he’s heard the name passed around before, but before now, he has never seen the face behind the name. something about this sparks some fear in him: how would persephone, goddess of spring, daughter of demeter, react to seeing anyone even remotely like himself?

   for a moment, he’s grateful that you’re not looking at him; you’re actually looking at the table, at the drink you’re sipping. there’s a look on your face that isn’t bored, nor afraid. maybe... observant.

   people are around you still. not crowding, but not interacting with you either. it’s like you have a bubble around you, keeping everyone from getting too close. maybe it’s your doing but maybe it’s theirs. honestly, you’d think that dryads and gods and goddesses and spirits of all forms and colors and subjects would be more accepting.

   he pities you. you seem lonely.

   loki takes a few steps forward, betraying his own fear. like the red sea, the crowd parts. some are bold and unafraid, and they give loki varying looks: disgusted, seductive, snarky. you don’t notice him until he sits down in front of you, at the other end of the table.

   “hi,” he says calmly. he manages a small smile. “you’re new here, aren’t you?”

   your eyes lift to lock with his own. immediately, you recoil just the slightest bit. he knows what you’re thinking: wait, that’s hades! god of death... wh-why is he talking to me?

   “it’s alright,” he soothes. “don’t worry. you’ve probably heard of all the stories: gods kidnapping and doing terrible things to goddesses and spirits and dryads. i’m not here to do any of that. i promise.”

   with a single, somewhat confused blink, you nod. “m-my mother has told me a lot about that stuff,” you say slowly, as if saying anything too revealing will somehow alert demeter and get you in trouble. “she’s... she’s terrified...”

   “what is she terrified of? that those terrible things might happen to you?”

   “yes,” you say. “she’s told me that she’s had nightmares in the past. specifically about you. how you’ll kidnap me and take me to hell to live with you.”

   he laughs at that - a rich, amused laugh that takes the shivers out of you. “that’s bullshit. overprotective mothers, yeah?”

   you shrug. “she loves me.”

   “and are you afraid of me, princess?” the last word is whispered. his voice extremely soft - it’s a curious question.

   he notices how you lick your lips. “no,” you say. he notices how your eyes flick all over him. “no, i’m not.” and you seem truthful.

   “smart girl,” he says with a grin. “i hate liars. there’s not a god on in the world that’s ever been truthful. well, besides jesus. yahweh. whatever you wanna call him.” loki leans back, crossing his hands behind his head and bringing his feet up to the table. “your father, though... he’s the worst of ‘em. having children with other women, including your mother, while hera has to sit by and watch, and then lying about it.”

   “we’re gods,” you say. “i'm not trying to justify things but... we’re far from perfect.”

   “damn right we are. we’re fucked up. good. we can agree on something. most days, people think us gods are... perfect things. role models. and, maybe some are. but not us. not the gods of olympus.”

   he pauses, takes a swig from a beer bottle that was not in his hand a few seconds ago. “i was wondering if you wanted to do what humans do.” loki winces at the awkwardness. “when they're... y'know. interested in someone.”

   “you're interested... in me?” you ask, incredulously.

   “yeah, i am.” one sip of beer has loosened his tongue. or maybe that's just his confidence soaring now. “maybe this hasn't been the best introduction to things but i would love to take you out sometime. show you things.”

   “my —” you swallow. “i'd get in trouble.” you shrink away just a bit.

   his smile fades and it's replaced with a sadder, more sincere look. “the best things in life have risk to them. it's time i show you that.”

   and really, he does feel sorry for you. it's your first time at a bar, you're lonely. no friends as far as he can tell. an overprotective goddess mother.

   “think of it this way. i think you're very pretty and i like your honesty. i would like to help you see the world, and to have a little fun, since your mother has obviously never let you do anything in your very, very long life.”

   “i'm twenty—one.”

   “and now i'm wondering if demeter actually has you tell people that, as if you're a teenage mortal.” loki shakes his head, disappointed. “that's pathetic. you're a bajillion years old. you're a goddess! you should be able to do whatever the fuck you want, right?”

   when there's no answer from you, he sighs. leans forward to sit normally, putting both of his elbows on the table and pointing his hands at you. “alright. i'll roll with it for now. you're twenty—one. i guess. you can drink. you can go out alone to bars and other places. you can meet new people. you're an adult. think about that.

   “so, again. i think you're very pretty and i wanna show you around. get to know you. would you like to do that with me?” he raises his eyebrows a little, waiting for a response.

   it's an eternity before you can win a battle in your mind. slowly, you nod, giving him a smile. “yeah,” you whisper. “yeah, i would. thank you.”

   “don't thank me just yet, sweetheart. i haven't shown you anything yet.” he gets up, pushes his chair in.

   before he leaves, he winks at you. “call me loki. it's... not as dreadful... as hades. and... what do i call you?”

   you say your name, your voice quiet.

   “much better than persephone, i think. it suits you. we'll keep in touch, ok?”

   “okay,” you say. butterflies are flying rapidly in your stomach.

   loki leaves you there. he'd much rather take you back to your home himself, but that would be too risky for the time being. for now, he walks out of that bar feeling like the king of the world.

[osakaso5]

Nagi Rokuya Birthday Photobook Rabbit Chat Part 5: All Their Gratitude

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4

Mitsuki: It's midnight!

Yamato: I'm glad we got to give our birthday wishes directly. Congrats

Riku: Nagiiii!!!

Iori: Nanase-san, yelling his name does not count as wishing him a happy birthday. Happy birthday, Rokuya-san.

Riku: Congraaaats!!!

Tamaki: Nagicchi hbdddddd

Sogo: Nagi-kun! I'm happy I get to tell you this face to face. Happy birthday.

Nagi: 。゜(゜´Д`゜)゜。

Tsumugi: Nagi-san, happy birthday! It's so nice that you can all celebrate together this year!

Nagi: Cocona is here!

Tsumugi: Cocona-chan!?

Riku: We're all wearing Cocona masks!

Sogo: It's a bit embarrasing.

Tamaki: So-chan, your hair's sticking out of the mask, lol

Nagi: What a special surprise! Six Coconas! I love you all!

Iori: That doesn't mean you have to grope people's behinds when you hug them *angry* *angry* *angry*

Riku: You're still not used to that, Iori?

Iori: No, and I wouldn't even want to be! Neither should you!

Yamato: My face is getting sweaty wearing this thing.

Nagi: NO! Cocona would never sweat! You must alter your bodies to be closer to hers!

Mitsuki: And how are we supposed to do that, lololol We're still men, you know, lolol

Sogo: Um, if we have to become women... I think there was a potion for that in a black magic tome I read the other day...

Yamato: I'm kinda curious what that potion entails. Not that we're going to be trying that or anything.

Sogo: It seems the first ingredient is the blood of a live toad...

Tamaki: AAAAAAA I can't see I can't hear AAAAAAAAAA

Tsumugi: Those masks must be very warm, if you're already getting sweaty >< lol

Riku: Apparently we're not allowed to take them off for the next hour!

Tamaki: But then we can't eat anything

Sogo: I brought the magic tome, does anyone want to read it?

Tamaki: Don't even open it!!!

Nagi: What is this black smoke!?

Mitsuki: Did you really do some kind of black magic!?

Nagi: Will you summon Cocona!?

Iori: Of course he won't!

Riku: Tamaki! Tamaki! The naan bread we were making is burning!!!

Tamaki: Aaaaaaaaaaaa

Tamaki: This is all your fault, So-chan and Yama-san!!!

Nagi: A... Cocona naan bread?

Yamato: Nope (lol) We were making it for you, Nagi.

Nagi: Why naan?

Iori: Calm down, Rokuya-san.

Nagi: Gulp...

Iori: Apparently it's because "Nagi" and "naan", both start with a "na".

Mitsuki: Lololololololol

Yamato: Pretty funny, right?

Sogo: I see, so they chose due to how similar they sound! That was really nice of them.

Tsumugi: Um, are you making curry to go with the naan?

Mitsuki: Nope, it's just the bread, lolol

Tsumugi: What!?

Mitsuki: I'm not cooking this time, since Riku and Tamaki were so excited to feed Nagi their home cooking. Iori was charged with watching them though, lol

Nagi: Hearing that makes me feel like I need to eat all of the naan, even if it completely dries my mouth...

Mitsuki: I did make the cake, so at least you have that to look forward to!

Nagi: ┖(o゜∀゜o)┙ Wasshoi!

Nagi: Now I can finally outdo Iori when it comes to enjoying one of Mitsuki's cakes.

Iori: My parents own a bakery. Don't think you'll defeat me so easily.

Tamaki: It burned

Nagi: This... looks like a black hole, spewing out the evils of the world...

Riku: Sorry, Nagi... You can't eat this.

Sogo: It's because I brought up black magic in the first place... Sorry.

Yamato: Nah, I really don't think you're at fault here, Sou.

Nagi: Do not mourn while you wear Cocona's face!

Nagi: For the next 30 minutes, you shall have a test of endurance in which you do the Cocona ending theme dance.

Riku: I like that dance!

Tsumugi: I'll make some curry and bring it over in a moment, so feel free to dance until then! lol

Iori: You can't be serious...

Tamaki: I'm gonna win

Mitsuki: Since when is this a competition!?

Nagi: Your cuteness puts you in a lead, Mitsuki! Now, everyone do your best!

Yamato: I think I preferred the weepy Nagi from earlier...

Sogo: Don't say that, Yamato-san!

Riku: Iori, that's the Bon festival dance! lol

Iori: D-didn't the dance go something like this?

Nagi: It did not. Start over, Iori.

Sogo: He's very strict...

Yamato: Are you sure you don't wanna go back to just crying?

Nagi: I have brought you the Clos du Menil I promised, Yamato.

Yamato: Actually, dancing doesn't sound too bad right now.

Tamaki: You sure changed your mind fast.

Tsumugi: Nagi-san, as great of a dance teacher you are, it's about time for the usual!

Mitsuki: I wanna change clothes before he does, lol

Riku: Yamato-san, are you wearing a shirt that has dark patches around the armpits? It's very stylish!

Yamato: Riku, that's sweat... I wasn't kidding when I said these masks are hot...

Nagi: Cocona does NOT sweat!!!

Choices/outcomes:

1. Your outfit will complement the Cocona masks!

Nagi: Indeed. This is a dress code I will gladly abide by.

2. Are you ready?

Nagi: I am burning with excitement, as Tamaki and Riku's special birthday naan burned before me X-P

3. It's time to change!

Nagi: I very much enjoy the sound of that X-P

Tsumugi: Is everyone ready?

Mitsuki: Who got him these glasses, lolololol

Tamaki: Meeee

Yamato: Oh wow, lolololol Looking good, Nagi, lololol

Riku: I want to wear them, too! Let me borrow them later!

Nagi: Very well. I will be the adult for today.

Yamato: What, because of the moustache? lol

Iori: I think you and Rokuya-san are the only ones these glasses would suit, Nikaido-san.

Yamato: What's that supposed to mean, Ichi?

Sogo: Wow... I wonder if I'd look good in them, too.

Tamaki: Quit staring at them with those sparkly eyes. 

Sogo: I want to try the glasses, too.

Tamaki: Why???

Riku: Hey, we should all tell Nagi the thing we couldn't last time!

Nagi: !

Iori: Stop acting so nervous, Nikaido-san.

Yamato: You're not pulling any punches today, huh, Ichi...

Mitsuki: You trying to one-up me when it comes to heckling Nagi and Yamato-san? lololol

Riku: One, two, three, go!

Iori: Na

Yamato: Gi

Mitsuki: We

Tamaki: Lo

Sogo: Ve

Riku: You

Tsumugi: What a lovely message..!

Nagi: (´;ω;`)

Nagi: I have received a message of love from those dearest to me

Riku: We've been waiting to say it for too long!

Mitsuki: Congrats, Nagi..!

Yamato: ...Aaaand he's bawling again.

Sogo: Nagi-kun, I love you.

Tamaki: S-So-chan!?

Sogo: What? I don't think it was that out of place to say.

Tamaki: But you didn't have to say it NOW! Look how red you made everyone's faces

Sogo: Why would the rest of you be blushing, when I'm the one who said it?

Iori: It just feels wrong, somehow...

Riku: You didn't react like this when I said that to you on your birthday, Iori!

Iori: Why do you even remember that!?

Tsumugi: Nagi-san, your birthday has just begun! I hope you'll have many more happy moments!

Nagi: (´;ω;`)

Nagi: Well then, please post your other love messages now

Yamato: I guess I'll go first, then! Nagi, I'm glad I got to say this toi your face. Congrats. I mean it. Just when I think you're sly as a fox, you show this cute side of yourself that we all love. I hope you'll keep smiling for us.

Riku: I know you were probably really excited for this, but so were we! Thanks for letting us celebrate with you, and for making us so happy! Let's keep seeing the world and having lots of fun together! Happy birthday!

Tamaki: Congrats, Nagicchi. We're always doing dumb stuff and getting in trouble together, but it's all fun when I'm with you Let's have a blast today!

Iori: Happy birthday, Rokuya-san.

Sogo: Happy birthday, Nagi-kun. Even as a man, reading your photobook made my heart race. I envy you for being so charismatic, but I'm proud of you at the same time. Please keep singing with us.

Mitsuki: Happy birthday, Nagi! I know you've been doing pranks to make me mad on purpose lately! But I just can't be mad at you for that, lololol You always notice the important details. Sorry for relying on you so much.

Mitsuki: I'll have to become more manly, so you'll be the one thanking me for once! Let's go out and have cake sometime. Congrats!

Tsumugi: Again, congratulations and happy birthday, Nagi-san! We're happy just to have you around!

Nagi: I love you all.

Nagi: More than anyone else in the world.

Nagi: You are always there to welcome me home. You make me smile from the bottom of my heart, and you smile with me. When I want to cry, you cry with me.

Nagi: Thank you

Nagi: For giving me this home.

Mitsuki: Nagiii!!!

Riku: Waaaaah!!!

Tsumugi: Nagi-san..!

Sogo: We're all hugging Nagi-kun.

Yamato: Don't wipe your snot on my clothes!

Iori: Stop groping me!!!

Riku: It's not fair that only Iori gets groped! Do me, too!

Tamaki: Wait, I wanna be groped too

Mitsuki: Me too... not, lololol

Tsumugi: Nagi-san, everyone's sending you their birthday wishes online! Would you like to respond?  

Nagi: Of course, my dear Tsumugi.

Nagi: This day was very painful and sad for me before. I had not personally known the pain of being apart from those I love.

Nagi: But today, I finally know how important, how wonderful it is to be with the people dearest to you. I am grateful to God, my teammates, and all of you for loving me so.

Nagi: I promise that my love for IDOLiSH7 and you will never end. Do you swear the same thing? Fall in love with me, for all eternity. Tell me how you feel. I will be sure to return those feelings. You will not regret it. I love you.

Translator’s notes..? 

next up, Tenn’s Marie Mariage Rabbit Chats! 

[peterspideyy]

what for? | part two

part one

summary- you call your boyfriend, peter. but, it isn’t a happy one. and he’ll remember it for the rest of his life.

warnings- angst, swearing

————

it’s been a month, three days, five hours and two minutes since you left.

peter still remembers that phone call vividly. it’s like, it’s been surgically planted into his mind for all eternity. everything reminds him off that call. and he despises it.

there’s been a funeral.

it was nice. peaceful.

peter knows you would of hated it though- everyone was too upset and dressed in all black. he’s knows you would of wanted people smiling or wearing colourful clothes. but, you weren’t there to tell him that’s what you wanted. peter was the only one not crying at your funeral. your whole family, even the avengers were sobbing.

except him.

he didn’t have any tears left.

he was empty.

“what for, love?”

the sound on the other end went silent, as peter waited for you to answer his question.

“darling? what’s wrong? you can tell me anything you know.” he ushered, feeling a slight panic rise in his body at how quiet it was on the phone.

it was too quiet.

“y/n?” another voice was heard suddenly, and he immediately recognised it as tony’s.

“mr stark?” peter shouted, in hopes tony could hear him. luckily, he did.

“pete?”

“yeah it’s me, where’s y/n?” peter questioned, genuine worry in his voice.

“i-“ tony couldn’t speak. what could he say? he was heartbroken, at the sight of you- dead.

“tony.” peter warned, making the man start to cry over your body.

“tony! where the hell is y/n?” he was shouting now, and tony could imagine him pacing around, hands pulling at his hair.

“peter...i’m so sorry.” tony mumbled, voice croaking with silent sobs.

“can you just tell me what’s going on?!” he screamed, as his hands started to shake.

“she’s gone.”

may has tried to get him to eat. he doesn’t want to. he doesn’t know the last time he ate alone. it sounds stupid- to not wanting to eat on your own. but, he always ate with you. and now you weren’t here anymore.

he’s not going to school, either. his teachers keep on sending him work, but he just see’s you. smiling and laughing. it doesn’t help that you were in all of his lessons. and how he remembers on friday afternoons, when you were both drained from the week you just had, how you would sit in the back of the class, hands intertwined, as you both whispered sweet nothings into each other’s ears. he loved those days.

but, you weren’t here to have those days again.

if he knew you were dying on that phone call, he would of said how much he loved you. how much he appreciated you. but, while you were trying to stay alive, he was too busy trying to set up a stupid date night.

he just wishes you told him.

he wishes for a lot of things. but, not everyone can get what they want.

a knock on the door inturrupted peter’s thoughts, as he looked up to see may entering with a sympathetic smile on her face. “there’s someone here to see you.”

he doesn’t know why, but a little bit of hope fluttered in peter’s stomach. he’s heard about how people fake their death on missions, and he prays that’s what happened with you. but, when tony stark walked in, his face dropped.

he was stupid to even think that you were alive.

“hey, kid.”

“i’m so sorry, kid, she’s gone.” tony whispered, tears falling down his cheek at the sound of peter’s broken cries on the phone.

“hi.”

tony looked around his room, taking in how much of a mess it was. he also noticed, how all of y/n’s belongings were spaced out on his bed. and then, tony took in peter. he had deep purple bags under his eyes. tears stained his cheek, as his bloodshot eyes starred at a random point in the wall. anthony coughed slightly, before sitting next to peter on the bed.

“how are you?”

peter shrugged.

“listen i know it’s hard, i’ve lost a person i love too i-“

“no.” peter cut off.

“yes, you loved...” peter stopped. he hasn’t said y/n’s name since that phone call. “her but it wasn’t in the same why like i did. so please, don’t say that you get me, because you don’t.”

tony had expected peter to snap back at him, for whatever he was going to say. so he wasn’t shocked.

“i am truely sorry, peter. i now how much you cared for her.”

peter looked down at his hands. “yeah.”

a minute of silence passed, before tony remembered why he came. “listen, i was going through old files this week, and i found this.”

he extended out a small blue usb, causing peter to take it out of his grasp.

“i watched the first couple of seconds, just to check what it actually was, but i think you would want to watch it.”

“what is it?”

“it’s from y/n.”

peter’s eyes went wide, tears forming in his eyes, as he turned to face tony. “what?”

tony titled his head to the side, smiling slightly, before patting his shoulder. “i’ll leave you alone, kid. i’m always here for you.”

“thank you, mr stark.” peter smiled back, but it never reached his eyes as tony nodded his head before leaving his room, and closing the door behind him.

as soon as the door clicked closed, peter shot up to his laptop, putting the usb into the side of the device. a folder popped up on his screen called ‘peter parker.’

he breathed out, double clicking on the blue folder before it opened to reveal one video. clicking on the video, an image of you popped up, making his breath hitch. it was just you, starring into the camera in mid talk, but it made peter’s heart melt.

he wiped away some tears that were falling, before clicking play.

“hi- oh shit-“ the camera fell of your desk, as you yelled making peter chuckle. you were always so clumsy. after picking up the camera, changing the angle slightly, you dropped your hands to your side, smiling widely.

“hi! sorry about that.” you laughed, looking down which is what you did when you were nervous. peter smiled softly, at your little gesture.

“so, i don’t know why i’m doing this. but, if your watching this peter, then i’ve passed. i hope your okay. i’m sorry that i left you this early. i don’t know, joining the avengers has put a higher risk of me getting more hurt. i know you have had your disagreements on me joining.”

peter remembers that argument. he was so worried about you. he wouldn’t want you to get hurt. or worse.

“but, i’m glad we’ve gone past that. but, just incase of an untimely death, i’ve made this little video in private. even though, darling, your asleep next door, so hopefully i haven’t woke you up by my screaming before.”

you giggled on the screen.

so did peter in his empty room.

“erm...when i first met you, on that cold, december day in high school, i knew you were my soulmate. even though, you were very nervous and kept on stuttering over every single word, i knew you would be the love of my life. the one thing i didn’t expect you to be, was to be my bestfriend. and i appreciate you so much for that.”

you breathed out, tears forming in your eyes as you looked deeply into the camera, making peter cover his hand over his mouth to stifle his sobs.

“i- you helped me with everything. i never had a good relationship with anyone. until you. this sounds so cliche, but you made me the person i am today. and no words could describe how grateful i am for that.”

you breathed in, catching your breath before speaking again.

“if i do pass, i want you to move on, alright? i don’t want to see you crying everyday. you deserve to experience love, pete. i hope i do get to spend the rest of my life with you, but stuff happens. you deserve to find someone who loves you as much as i do.”

tears were falling down both of your cheeks now, and peter had to stop himself from bringing his hand up to the screen and wipe them away softly.

but, he had to remind himself that it wasn’t real.

you weren’t in-front of him.

“sorry. i shouldn’t be crying,” you laughed, wiping away your tears, making peter pout, “i just...i’m so overwhelmed with how much i love you. your probably going to be really confused when you wake up to see my sobbing.”

you laughed, before stopping at another voice in the background.

it was his.

“y/n?”

peter remembers waking up on that day, panic filling him at the empty sheets next to him.

if only he knew what you were doing.

“oh shit, you’re awake.” you whispered chuckling slightly, as you leaned in to switch the camera off before freezing.

“thank you, peter benjamin parker. for everything.”

with one last smile, the video ended.

and peter’s sobs started.

————

a/n- sorry about how short this is, but thank you for reading :)

————

peter parker taglist-

@24kbucky @parkersbliss @liberty-barnes @icyhollands @dreamofaprilsblog @deathofmissjackson @averyfosterthoughts @jannine00742 @beverlyparkerr @anapocalypseinmymind @itstaskeen