#i lost sleep bc i had to help one of our older dogs stand up early this morning

[tvrningout-archived]

i feel so very sleepy today but i’m gonna be here… dunno if i’ll be productive, but i’ll be here!

[softboyscully]

Public School Stuff I Wanted to Share

public school is both beautiful and horrifying am i right

so ill just go by the grades i guess

Kindergarten, first year

i did kindergartden at a catholic school in a relativly big city so this one’s got some shit

we went to church every wednesday, me and best friend (lost track of her when we moved, wish we’d stayed in touch, she was awesome) would giggle the whole time, pretty sure we made fun of jesus once, can’t remember why, possibly the hair

i had the nicest teacher, she was (as i remember her) young, blonde, and super sweet, that was the first and last year i ever had naptime

SPEAKING of naptime

i never slept during it

once i found what i remember being a nut of some sort on the ground, probably came off someone’s shoe

i grab it, turn to sarah (my best friend), say something about putting it up my nose

sarah, apparently having common sense, says, “no dont do it!! we’re supposed to be sleeping!!”

i put it up my fucking nose

try to get it out, just push it farther in

im crying a little bit now, that shit hurts

go up to my teacher

“you’re supposed to be asleep!”

“i have a nut up my nose and it wont come out”

teacher tries to get it out, but it wont budge

just. sends me back to my mat

that was it

the art room was tiny

like re-purposed broom closet tiny

there was a copy of the mona lisa in the hallway, someone had drawn ray bans on it with a pencil, never got replaced

there was a creepy-ass basement i went down to after school, we ate cheeseballs and sandwiches with some kind of meat, mayo, and that kinda yellow bread

someone broke his leg down there once, think an older kid threw him at the ceiling or something

we learned how to play Silver Bells with actual bells in music class

Kindergarten, second year

i remember these two teachers as the evil step sister-type look, but it might be my little kid imagination

but seriously they were horrible

we learned stuff in a room that was more middle-school styled, except everything was green or black and it was v dark

me and sarah attained a new friend, john

honestly i think we would’ve stayed friends for a while if i didnt move away

i have two vivid memories

one is of me really wanting to go home, so i walked by the teacher’s desk and did a fake sneeze

they laughed at me and told me to go sit back down

the other is  john leaning his chair back and then falling, so me and sarah went to help him back up

it was funny, so he did it again

and again

me and sarah were laughing, had the time of our lives

after the maybe fifth time the teachers said “john can get back up by himself. sit down and stay there.”

one of the reasons we moved was bc i got sent a letter from my fourth grade buddie

most of the words weren’t spelled correctly, many letters were backwards

my mother was horrified

ofc now we know it was probably a learning disability 

1st grade

this is when i moved

beginning of school i was ASTOUNDED we didnt have uniforms, one of the best things ever to happen to me

nothing wrong with this teacher, she was cool

thing is i was a little shit

told everyone my dogs died (they did but i was maybe three when it happened, i remember it not)

all my personal narratives were bullshit (only one sticks in my memory, wrote it about celebrating christmas AND hanukkah with my dad’s friends who were jewish, i have never even met those friends)

had a crush on this kid, best friend (she was terrible and helped wreck me emotionally) told me to kiss him in music class. me being a stupid ass bitch, i did it, aND HE GOES TO THE TEACHER AND CALLS ME OUT. at the end of class she gets both of us to stay for a bit, AND I DENYIED EVERYTHING. i walked across the fucking classroom, kissed him on the cheek, ran away giggling, told my teacher i didn’t do anything, AND GOT AWAY WITH IT. i’ve embarrassed myself further with this child but thats another story

2nd grade

i loved this teacher but honestly he was absolute shit

like. all he did was play the guitar and sing with us

never actually taught us stuff???

middle of the year, my mom goes in for a parent-teacher conference, he tells her i dont pay attention is math.

“what do you mean?”

“she doesn’t listen, she just takes out a book and starts reading.”

“........have you.... tried taking the book away?”

“sure, i could try that.”

“o....kay”

he also told her i’d be a girl who’d grow up to love spellcheck (which i do lmao)

like ???? why not just??? teach me to spell????

there was this one dude who one day showed up, gave me a pink stuffed cat, and then asked me where i lived

funniest thing was he lived on the same street as me

something that is vivid in my memory is showing up to class one day and realizing that i was wearing my regular clothes over my pajamas

also we had fish

every day someone else was in charge of feeding them

one of the times it was my job, i grab the fish food and walk over to the tank only to find all of the fish floating on the top

i screamed “THE FISH CAN FLY?!?!?!?!?!”

everyone ran over, all of us scarred for life when Mr. G walks over and goes in the most normal voice ever “no theyre dead”

we held a funeral

the cause of death is still undetermined

3rd grade

this year just draws a blank for me

all i know is that whoever the teacher was, they neglected to teach me how to tell time from a clock

also we learned the Cotten Eyed Joe dance in gym around here

4th grade

i had two teachers this year

one was the same one from 1st grade, the other one was a total bitch

made a girl named hannah ball her eyes out once, never apologized

i was (and am) and avid reader, so my reading skills were high above average

instead of being proud of me she told me i was weird, not normal, and too smart for a 4th grader, so i MUST be cheating. 

she was the start of a lot of self confidence issues for me ngl

this was around the time i went and got tested for ADHD (me and my grandmother almost broke down on the highway but thats another story), Mrs. M (the nice one) was super supportive when i told her why i was leaving early but Ms. S (bitch) told me ADHD wasn’t real and i just wanted to be special for once

she sucked, Ms. S

5th grade

this is getting super long so this’ll be the last one i do

but my teacher..... Mr. F was A+++++

he legitimately taught me math

we had i guess like,,, a buddie class we switched with sometimes

the teacher of that class was Mrs. R, who had crazy red hair and many freckles

at one point she referenced a meme and my entire class started screaming

also there was another Mrs. S (to differentiate this one will be called Mrs. Su)

she was kind of crazy

she was the astronomy teacher and she told us many times that the moon landing was faked

once she handed out sunscreen and had everyone put it on their whole body (this was in december, fyi)

Mr. F also hosted an ‘archeological dig’ which sounds cool but in reality he had a bunch of arcade prizes from his childhood buried in little flower pots we dug into with plastic spoons

also heres some stuff i cants pinpoint the time of/happened in multiple grades:

someone held a who-can-scream-the-most-like-a-goat contest

a guy named Makenzie won

remember we planned it while the teacher left the classroom so the teacher walks back in and one by one everyone in the room starts screaming, there was some applause, a few kids got a standing ovation

we cleaned out our desks in the middle of the year, i found 3 socks and a dog treat in mine

like how the fuck did any of those things get there

and where’s the fourth sock

b o t t l e f l i p p i n g

but no seriously there were at least five water bottles stuck in the ceiling in the cafeteria

my sorta friend charlie was obsessed with paper airplanes

one time he might’ve broken the world record for longest time in the air but he was counting in his head and it was at recess so there was no video

four square and gaga ball would be played no matter the setting, time, or conditions and it was super competitive

like if you could get to king in four square you got the everlasting respect of everyone

and everyone was super educated on four square special rules, special plays, that kinda shit

no but guys i grew up with bus stop, candy store, haunted house on mondays, haunted mansion on fridays, zombies was fair game unless it was Zach, Ryan, Chrissy or Vee

me and one other guy named andrew were the only known pjo fans, had the time of our LIVES making refrences

“HEY ANDREW IM NOBODY”

“I HAVE WAITED YEARS FOR YOU, NOBODY, COME HERE AND FACE YOUR DEATH”

“hey annabeth, i thought you looked like a princess when i first saw you. i printed out a picture you sent me casually and kept it with me. i snuck along on a quest so i could save you, endangering myself immensely. i held the sky for you. when you talk about your crush on luke, i get jealous. beckendorf understood, but hes dead.”

“ikr we’re literally the best of friends”

“RIGHT”  

also the first time we finished mark of athena we were in the same classroom and we individually dropped the book, stood up, looked at each other, and screamed “WELL FUCK YOU TOO RICK RIORDAN”

[a-very-fond-farewell]

The forbidden crack! Untamed prompts: 16/?

FMA AU meets “The Wind Rises” AU : “I still remember every day”

[crazy idea #1: if you are familiar with FMA: Brotherhood (superior in every way) you probably are too young or too smart to remember the original 2003 FMA clusterfuck series but i’m neither young nor smart so here is my take on one of my favorite animated movies of all times “The Conqueror of Shamballa” BUT the story doesn’t start in 1923 Germany but somewhere around 1923 Japan. If you are familiar with this movie and the 2003 series you will know Ed Elric has moved from London to Munich and started living there frequently interacting with a family of rocket scientists (sounds crazy if you are only knowledgeable with FMA: B, but… trust me). So i thought, “what if our protagonist (in this case WWX) travels from China to Japan to work on some airplanes instead?”]

[crazy idea #2: “The Wind Rises” from Ghibli is set in that historical period right? so what if we make transmigrated WWX work his engineering magic on some aircrafts before any conflict can actually take place? precisely between the end of the Taisho period (1912-1926) and the beginning of the Showa period (1926-1989), when the desire for innovation and the new technological advancements could be implemented while at peace.]

[obviously, this is just a prompt, and I don’t feel particularly comfortable with creating fantasy storylines so intertwined with actual historical events, especially if these events caused the suffering of many and belong to a culture that is not mine to describe with the potential risk of offending its values and legacy. also, fandom should be fun and if you love angst maybe this is not the prompt for you. on the other hand I thought of how much i love movies like “Porco Rosso”, set somewhat really fucking close to where I live while describing a fun and lighthearted narrative even if it’s dealing with historical and political events that are still fresh and painful in our collective memory nowadays. Maybe it is possible to write something easy and fun while, at the same time, setting it in a time of great difficulties without hurting anyone. Maybe I’m not the person for that (after all, this is just a prompt), but if you want to explore a similar plot you are encouraged to tag me bc I would really like to know your take on the matter. and if I happen to offend anyone I will properly apologize and take responsibility.]

[the title is from L’Arc-en-Ciel’s song “Lost Heaven”, which still makes me cry to this day]

*

When Wei WuXian wakes up after the core transplant surgery, the first thing he realizes is that he should be awake. Wen Qing insisted on the fact that he had to keep himself awake and conscious for the entirety of the procedure, otherwise he would have suffered from extreme backlash and so would have Jiang Cheng. But here he is, waking up from slumber after who know how many days. In front of a figure in white he doesn’t recognize. Everything is blurry in his periphery, as if he’s inhabiting two bodies at the same time. His every move heavy and his speech sluggish.

The person in white turns the moment Wei WuXian realizes he’s standing in the middle of nowhere, in the space between realities.

“Where am I?”, he asks, trying to make out the features of the person in front of him, their long white hair, the silver lining of their robes.

“You’re here to pay a price.”, the other answers, their voice a mere whisper. Barely louder than the crisp little noises the pins and jewelry adorning their hair and neck are making as the person approaches him slowly.

“A price for what?”

“Before losing consciousness, you wished for your brother to be saved no matter what.”

“Is… is Jiang Cheng safe?”

“He’s dying because you fell asleep.”, the other announces, sending shivers down Wei WuXian’s spine, dread sitting in the middle of his chest, “You cannot wake up, the damage is done. But if you enter this door you will be able to save him. Your body in this world will die, the core will not share two owners at once and your brother will be the only one able to use it from now on.”

Wei WuXian doesn’t have time to feel pain, determination painting him in vibrant colors in that white realm of silence and void. He turns as the person in white gestures him to do so and he finds a door so big it could rival with one of the gates of Koi Tower. Engraved on its surface are myriads of characters reminding him of something ancient and forbidden. Something so dark and dangerous not even cultivators as knowledgeable as Lan QiRen would be able to understand, let alone encourage learning about.

“What will i find on the other side?”, he wonders, watching as the gates slowly open in front of him, a warm wind spiraling upwards and messing his hair.

A kiss from the underworld.

Is this the day I die, he doesn’t ask.

“Another world.”, the woman in white and silver answers honestly.

Wei WuXian doesn’t have time to recognize her that he is dragged inside by a thousands of spirits with eyes for mouths and teeth for hands.

*

Mere months have passed since he woke up in a body similar to his original one, but completely different from his own at the same time. He’s still seventeen, but cannot rely on cultivation anymore. The brand scar he received in the cave of the Tortoise of Slaughter is nowhere to be seen. His mother and father welcomed him back in their arms, crying over his bedridden body thanking the heavens for saving their only son from typhoid fever. He knew deep down those were not his true parents, that Cange Sanren had a different name on top of that and that their actual son’s soul was probably the sacrificial lamb paid on the altar of Wei WuXian’s greed to save his only brother. He knew this since day one, yet he was too tired to say anything at the time. He woke up in a small village in the Hubei Province under the Republic of China, established twelve years prior. A reality almost identical to his own, but stripped of any power of the cultivation world.

However, now things have changed and his parents have died a second time, the fever and starvation taking them in their sleep one at a time. But not before his mother could send a desperate letter to an old acquaintance of hers asking them to take their son “Wei Ying” out of the country and save him from harm. After accepting her proposition, the Chinese diplomat Jiang Fenmiang has invited Wei Ying to live with him and their family in Tokyo, where he’s working in order to strengthen and acquiesce the relations between the two countries after a period of tension and grievances.

As he travels on what he understands to be called a “train”, Wei WuXian takes notes over the many technological advancements this new era has brought to humanity. Such as the ferry he has taken to travel overseas and now the locomotive taking him to Tokyo. The pain of losing his parents for the second time is still fresh, as is the memory of the past few months living alone on the streets chased by rabid dogs. His body is still weak after surviving the fever and his lungs and digestive system are forever compromised, but he wants to meet Jiang Chen and YanLi a second time in this new world. Feeling guilty for leaving them in a world ruled by the Qishan Wen clan, the only thing he can do is to atone in this new life and protect them in this reality. He takes a brief moment to himself as he looks up from his notes and sees a man approaching from the first class carriage of the train.

Initially Wei WuXian doesn’t regard the stranger with anything but a polite nod, some of his notes flying away from his journal as he adjusts himself on the platform at the end of his car. He sprints up to try to catch them... before the stranger could grab them for him and give them back.

It’s then that Wei WuXian recognizes the man, an older version of Lan Zhan from the one he remembers, dressed in modern clothing and shorter hair. He’s just another double, a copy of the original he used to know. Just like his mother and father, just like the Jiang family he’s going to meet soon. No recognition comes from the other-Lan Zhan, yet Wei WuXian lets himself stare for longer than necessary as he thanks the man.

A single tear rolls down his cheek as an earthquake shakes the train and destroys everything around them in that day of September 1923.

[details down below]

1923:

(WWX is 17)

the train stops and all the passengers survive, but they are scared and don’t know how to reach Tokyo safely by foot. Some officers guide them to the nearest road and help them walk for a while before they have to leave for the capital in an attempt to contain the flames of the many fires caused by the earthquake.

Lan Zhan’s double has the same name and features, but is now twenty-five and was supposed to arrive in Tokyo to meet with his brother, Lan Huan’s double. He’s a little more cheerful than what WWX remembers and he also decides to stick with the younger man all the way to Tokyo. After glancing at WWX’s notes earlier, in fact, double!LanZhan recognizes him as someone from his same country and reasons they should feel safer traveling together for a little while more.

given that trying to explain his situation to double!LanZhan would be useless, WWX simply agrees and shoves down any temptation to tell him all about Gusu and the cave and how much he wishes he could go back to his original world. They walk all the way to Tokyo talking quietly: they are surrounded by strangers, WWX doesn’t know much Japanese to begin with and he doesn’t want to be recognized as a foreigner.

uncle Jiang, along with some clothes to travel more comfortably, has sent him enough money to travel and direction to reach his home. The only thing WWX hopes is that nobody was injured in the earthquake and that no more waves can reach them before he can join them. What an unfortunate time to arrive. Aunt Yu would probably hate him in this reality too just because of that.

but as he trails behind double!LanZhan and enters Tokyo, WWX feels as if hell has found its way into the world, flames everywhere and nowhere to go. In the midst of chaos, however, double!LanZhan tries to keep him from fainting or shaking, talking about all the things he and his brother wish to work on as architects working for the government. Yet, WWX senses how worried he is for his twin brother and pities him as he tries to calm down, marveling at how much this version of Lan Zhan can talk. They walk towards the Jiang household as double!LanZhan chats about the university he’s supposed to work for the following month, wondering if it’s still intact after the catastrophe.

they reach the elegant house without any more troubles, relief spreading through their hearts as they notice it has endured little to no damage. Uncle Jiang scurries over them and immediately recognizes WWX bc of how much he resembles his mother and the man dotes on him from then on. He thanks double!LanZhan profusely, ignoring the resentful glances coming from his wife and the curious ones from his daughter. A kid roughly the same age as WWX approaches and takes the other’s only suitcase: a scowl on his face and hurry in his steps, telling WWX to keep up because “the world is crashing down if he hadn’t noticed”.

WWX doesn’t have time to properly thank double!LanZhan that he is urged inside by his new family.

1927:

(WWX is 21)

given the connections the Jiang family has in both countries, WWX and his step siblings are able to enjoy benefits others may only dream of, but the government is wary of foreigners and they need to act as good guests. This angers and stresses Jiang Cheng, his temper even worse than what WWX remembers, and he is even more rebellious than his new stepbrother. It’s WWX who needs to tone down the other’s snark at times, reminding him they cannot do as they please and that, even if others are jealous of their grades in university and overall position, they are still living in difficult times.

WWX knows this Jiang Cheng is a double ant that everything feels like a dream and nothing matters anymore, but if he pretends hard energy maybe he can stop feeling guilty for leaving his dear ones behind. But acknowledging this Jiang Cheng as the real one feels wrong and sometimes WWX distances himself from him, keeping his secrets for himself.

however, double!JiangCheng has seen his brother scream in his dreams, even waking him up in the middle of the night just to shake him from his horrible nightmares. Sometimes Wei Ying watches him in his sleep, when he hasn’t yet realized double!JiangCheng is awake, as checks for his breath. Other times he pressed a hand to his abdomen, as if checking for scars or injuries. He doesn’t know what it means, but he is willing to wait for the other to come around and they’ll him himself.

their sister YanLi has figured a way to be useful in a country wary of foreigners by studying to become a doctor and save lives. Their father is currently struggling at work because of the increasing tensions between the two countries and their mother keeps to herself in spite of everything.

WWX’s health deteriorates after he starts working, their supervisor suggesting him and his brother to keep a low profile just not to attract any unwanted attention on their family. Their work as engineers can convince the higher-ups to keep them close in case war were to strike again. But Jiang Cheng feels bad for working for a country constantly threatening his parent’s home country over mining rights and land ownership. He may love working on new aircrafts and test his limits, but he’s against using his energy and drive for appease someone else’s greed.

WWX, for the first time in his life, feels second to his brother, admiring his ability to distinguish from right and wrong while he himself cannot even tell dreams and reality apart. With a weakened body and a mind filled with memories of a world that doesn’t even exists, WWX convinces himself he’s in hell and this life is the punishment for being too greedy himself.

1929:

(WWX is 23, double!LWJ is 30)

tension is too strong for them to live in Tokyo, with Uncle Jiang forced to work for the government and scramble for solutions in order to keep his family safe in a secluded location in the mountains, in a hotel in the middle of nowhere. There, the elites enjoys the last days of peaceful times they will not see again for years to come.

WWX feels drained, dreaming of people he will either never see again or see every single day in the faces of strangers. Jiang Cheng convinces him to talk, even if only to ease his pain, but WWX cannot bring himself to reveal the whole truth. The only thing he feels like to share is that he has visions of another world and that maybe reincarnation is not as far fetched as it seems.

Jiang Cheng doesn’t really believe him, but he supports him and together with YanLi they try to make Wei Ying relax during their vacation on the mountains.

there, out of nowhere, WWX meets double!LanZhan and his brother: they meet on top of a hill as the wind rises and some of the two brothers’ musical scores fly away. WWX and his stepbrother catch them and bring them back as YanLi approaches the two musicians.

this time, WWX notice immediately something is wrong. Double!LanZhan is far less cheerful than what he remembers from their first encounter, while his brother seems to have lost his vision, music being his only comfort. The group exchanges pleasantries with the twins on top of the hill, until rain forces them all to seek refuge under some trees. WWX watches double!LanZhan closely and realizes these years apart must have been tough on him. He asks if double!LanHuan has lost his sight after the earthquake and the only thing double!LanZhan is able to do is nod, his eyes filled with tears.

Would it be so bad to befriend this other-LanZhan? Is it right for WWX to start a new life in hell with someone so compassionate and kind? Maybe that would be okay in the end, maybe they can be good friends and survive this world that is wary of them simply because of the greed of human kind. Then why does it feel wrong to let himself be loved by these people? Why does it feel like he’s betraying the ones he has left behind?

during their vacation, the two families get closer and they enjoy each other’s company. They talk in Japanese to not be stared by the other patrons and WWX wonders what happened in his world. If the Wens have crumbled down. If their name is synonymous with hatred and greed. If this is how any refugee would feel, isolated from the rest of the country while desperately trying to hold onto any familiar face and memory at hand.

Jiang Cheng doesn’t like to talk in another language and fear others might look down on him and seldom attracts attention by causing mayhem. But YanLi and even double!LanHuan help him come down from his stubborn antics and take him to long walks to calm down. This way, WWX and double!LanZhan are frequently left alone, because Wei Ying cannot walk for too long without feeling exhausted and so the other keeps him company.

since double!LanZhan is so under the weather and quiet, WWX takes it upon himself to entertain him and he spends their days chatting about the things he misses from home, what he would like to do if he were to live somewhere else, they airplanes he would like to make. He doesn’t talk about how much me misses flying on a sword, or how the wind fills under his clothes up in the air, or how much he would have loved to hold onto Lan Zhan among the stars at night.

WWX cries in front of double!LanZhan without noticing one day, missing the days at the Cloud Recesses when they were classmates and he used to pester the other boy. And only now, only now he understands what it was, what he wanted to convey with his antics. How much he wanted the other to notice him and pay attention to him. But the one rubbing a comforting hand up and down his spine now is not his Lan Zhan. Even if he’s just as kind and compassionate, just as quiet and brilliant, just as hurt and lonely.

they share a kiss under the trees of a meadow one afternoon and WWX feels like he’s either betraying the real Lan Zhan or this gentle young man who’s never done anything bad in his entire life. And he doesn’t know why double!LanZhan is crying as well as they kiss, but he’s too afraid to ask.

the following day Uncle Jiang calls the rest of his family back home and the Jiang siblings say their goodbyes to the twins hiding alone with their uncle on the mountain. Promising to meet each other again soon, even if WWX knows that’s most likely nothing but a well intentioned lie given the hardships they’re bound to face.

1930:

Lan Zhan:

(WWX is 24, double!LWJ is 31)

after meeting with the Jiang family, the twins try to retrieve their life as usual the moment they return in Tokyo for the winter. Their uncle notices double!LanZhan’s distress over departing from the young men he had met there, but his inquiry is fruitless since his nephew refuses to speak. The old man has noticed some changes in the younger twin over the course of a couple of years or so: his frequent migraines and tiredness, his laborious efforts to speak as if feverish and confused, his nights interrupted by nightmares more often than not.

even his brother has noticed the difference despite losing his vision in the fire at the imperial university seven years prior. His cheerful spirit is gone, his steps alternate different rhythms at times, and even his accent often doesn’t sound familiar to him. In his younger brother’s words “it’s almost as if two of me are residing in a single body”. But Lan Huan doesn’t know what to make of it, wishing he could look his brother in the eyes and see the truth for himself.

double!LanZhan, on the other hand, feels split in half ever since he has kissed Wei Ying. He remembers that day because his body has moved on its own, half of his mind lost in Wei Ying’s grey eyes while the other half (his own half) was trying to understand why the sudden urge to hold the boy tighter in his arms. He felt like someone had possessed him for those brief, stolen moments in time before leaving his body altogether the second Wei Ying has run away from him in the meadow.

unable to find an answer, feverish and tired with a migraine splitting his brain in half, double!LanZhan wanders around Tokyo trying to remember where the Jiang residence was. His feet walking him towards Wei Ying and Jiang Cheng’s room in the evening one day. Wei Ying is alone, sitting down by a table covered in drawings. Mesmerized, double!LanZhan watches from the window as Wei Ying traces the lines of faces and places, over an over again, as if he doesn’t want to forget what his imagination has shown him that night.

seeing what is depicted on the table, double!LanZhan’s migraine worsens and he collapses in the back garden, snow piling up on him. Wei Ying immediately notices and brings him inside, covering him in quilts to keep him warm. But Wei Ying is the warmest of all, his embrace like a balsam over double!LanZhan’s pulsing head as the younger tries to keep him warm by rubbing his arms over and over.

suddenly his head doesn’t hurt anymore and he can finally, finally let go. Let the other half take his place for now, just for a little while, as he takes a small nap in Wei Ying’s arms.

when he wakes up, Lan Zhan cries all of his tears.

he was finally able to reach Wei Ying, his Wei Ying, who was trapped in another world. The one Lan Zhan has been looking for ever since the end of the Sunshot Campaign, ever since Jiang Cheng himself told him of his demise. The one Lan Zhan was able to reach only after sacrificing his golden core to the immortal turned goddes BaoShan Sanren in front of a gate born from the efforts of some past demonic cultivator.

for two years he had tried to make his way through the veil between realities, his consciousness exhausted as if he had been swimming for far too long. The other-him, the man who shared his name and face, hosting his soul at the expenses of his own body for over two years. All because of Lan Zhan’s grief and greed, all because a goddess had promised him he could be reunited with the love of his life. But at what cost... at what cost indeed.

since two souls cannot reside in a single body, one of them had to die in order for Lan Zhan to meet his Wei Ying again. The moment WWX sees the other cry, he immediately recognizes him and tries to console him for the loss of his “other”. But LWJ cannot seem to feel any relief as he falls asleep once more in his arms.

Jiang Cheng:

Jiang Cheng enters the room and is baffled to find one of the twins in there, but seeing his brother crying over the man he decides to help them instead of calling the servants. Things are turning ugly in town for people like them and he doesn’t trust anyone anymore since YanLi got married and started working for the hospital, leaving the brothers alone.

in tears, Wei Ying tells him everything: of his dreams of another world, of the one he was destined to meet, of Lan Zhan finally remembering who he really was. He’s still fixated on this “past life” thing, uh? Jiang Cheng doesn’t really understand, but he knows the two man has grown fond of each other the previous summer and doesn’t really envy their fate.

he watches over them as they fall asleep in each other’s arms, having promised them to keep the servants from knowing about Lan Zhan’s presence in their house. That’s when he comes up with a plan and calls Lan Huan on the phone, briefly telling him that “his brother Lan Zhan has made a choice and that he cannot stay in Tokyo anymore”.

Lan Huan asks Jiang Cheng if his brother is there, to which the other only says “yes”. Is he with Wei Ying? Yes. Are they in love? Yes. Do they need to hide? “I can manage that for them.”

They meet the following morning at dawn, outside of Lan XiChen’s house to not attract the attention of the Jiang servants. Jiang Cheng will escort the two lovebirds to a cottage somewhere in the countryside, far away from society. When Lan Huan will succeed in convincing Lan QiRen to follow him there, they will receive them and arrange something.

Jiang Cheng May not believe his brother, but he knows things are getting dangerous in the country, especially for foreigners like them. Let alone someone like Wei Ying and his lover.

Wei WuXian:

While Lan Zhan is still feverish, Jiang Cheng and WWX take the train with the older man to the countryside. WWX feels bad for leaving, but Lan Zhan needs to rest away from the modern world for a while and he himself doesn’t feel well at all. Not with his lungs giving up on him any time he has to stiffen a cough and swallow his own blood with every breath. His weakened body may have caught something in the last few months, but he will not give up on Lan Zhan now.

They reach the cottage and Jiang Cheng immediately sends a letter to his sister, apologizing for what he’s about to do. They only have to wait a week for Lan Huan and Lan QiRen to arrive, but in the meantime Lan Zhan has regained enough energy to eat and stand up on his own. WWX asks him what is going on, and LWJ tells him that he’s currently trying to hold onto this body while simultaneously ruling over his original body in Gusu. He doesn’t want to fade away, but he fears slipping out of reach and leave WWX behind a second time.

when Lan QiRen sees them, he cannot deny what is in front of him: someone who is merely pretending to be his nephew greets him with a stoic face as he announces his intention to marry a man. Despite the initial shock, when Lan Huan has asked him to take him in the middle of nowhere in the countryside in winter, Lan QiRen has accepted to indulge him knowing Lan Zhan must have had something to do with it. But this in front of him is definitely not his nephew and this realization hurts more then knowing he is in love with a man.

Lan Huan, on the other hand, knows from his voice this is not his brother but cannot explain why. He’s filled with grief at the thought and not even his uncle can comfort him, the older man himself in pain for a loss he cannot comprehend.

WWX asks them to indulge them just this time, feeling like his life is getting closer and closer to its end, not knowing what else to do. Jiang Cheng comforts the two men as he tries to explain his reasons, that nobody will let them have even an ounce of joy in the world they’re forced to live in and that, if things will end up getting worse in the end, at least they’ll have this memory to look back to. He feels like a war is approaching, and no one can know what kind of world will greet them at the end of it.

Lan Zhan:

the day of his wedding he’s very nervous, having asked their hosts to simplify the traditional ceremony given the fact that Wei Ying and he are both men and there are no actual guest attending. They bow to the heavens and the earth, to their families, and then to each other. Their clothes are far less expensive or appropriate from the nuptial red they would have worn under different circumstances, yet Lan Zhan has never felt more adorned and rich, basking in Wei Ying’s love.

they spend their first night together whispering sweet nothings in each other’s ears, tired and happy as they have never been before.

Wei WuXian:

they stay at the cottage for months, receiving news from the outside world every now and then from Jiang Cheng and Lan Huan. He suspects his brother is keeping something to himself, ignoring his questions over the political situation altogether, but he doesn’t insist.

LWJ tells him stories of the Sunshot Campaign, of how he tried to save the weak, the women, the children and the innocent of the Wen Clan against the rest of the cultivation world. Of how he found a way to summon BaoShan Sanren through some scrolls he had found in Burial Mounds, where he thought WWX’s soul might have disappeared to. Of how he hadn’t even been able to say goodbye to his brother and the people he had saved in Yiling before signing a contract with the immortal.

WWX’s lungs are giving up on him but he tries to keep LWJ from noticing. YanLi comes to meet them one day and makes sure to cry for her brother only when they are finally alone, sensing his intention to keep his husband from knowing the truth. He knows LWJ cannot possibly keep holding onto two bodies at the same time: waking up in Yiling the moment he falls asleep in the cottage; then waking up with Wei Ying every morning the moment he falls asleep in Burial Mounds where he has decided to hide. Without a golden core, for as strong as someone like LWJ can be, he would die if he keeps crossing the veil, the gate between the two worlds.

the day after YanLi has left them alone, WWX spends his last day with his husband, making sure everything is perfect. he also sends letters to his family and thanks them for loving him. he extends his best wishes to the people who worked alongside him, helping him bring to fruition his dream to fly in the sky once more... even if he has never flown in this lifetime.

he’s very happy with his husband and wants to commit every second they spend together to heart. They make love for the last time before they both fall asleep together and dream of home.

he whispers “I wish you good luck” before falling asleep.

Lan Zhan:

he wakes up the next day and Wei Ying is gone. His body cold in his arms.

mad with grief, unable to believe a life without WWX can or should exist, he cries over his husband’s body and wishes he could die.

Lan Huan and Lan QiRen happen to visit that day and find him crestfallen and asking to be left alone to die. But they help him bury the body instead and take care of him. Lan QiRen suddenly feels terrible at the thought of leaving this boy all alone, whether he’s actually his nephew or not. Lan Huan convinces his brother to eat and rest, holding him for as long as it takes for him to calm down.

the following day, as the younger twin wakes up, he asks Lan Huan why they’re in a cottage in the countryside and what happened while he was asleep.

the actual LWJ, by falling asleep, not willing to wake up in a world where WWX doesn’t exists anymore, has allowed double!LanZhan to regain complete control over the body in the cottage. The twin wasn’t dead, just dormant, waiting for LWJ to let go of his body on his own.

waking up in the Burial Mounds, however, with no golden core and no Wei Ying is worse than anything LWJ has ever experienced. Having to survive WWX’s death not one, but two times is too much to handle... but a small kid has found his place in his arms while LWJ was sleeping. His beloved A-Yuan, one of the few Wen children he was able to save from the Lanling Jin’s clutches after the Sunshot Campaign.

as he takes in the sight of the child he considers his own, peacefully sleeping in his bed, LWJ finds the strength to say “just another day”. And then another and another and another again.

13 years later:

Mo XuanYu sacrifices his body for WWX and the first thing Wei Ying does in his new body is to ask the Lan juniors to bring him to Hanguan Jun.

but Lan Zhan is already there, following the juniors around after managing to reforming a golden core in just a little over ten years all on his own. The first thing he says to Wei Ying is “I still remember every day.”

and they begin to travel together for the rest of their life.

*

Now I need a fucking tissue.

[as you can see very little “conquering another world” type of quest because I didn’t like to think too hard. This is more like “what if before transmigrating WWX and LWJ lived somewhere else and got married?” But then I had to make it sad, uh? Fuck.]

[also, demonic-cultivator!LWJ anyone?]

[in-tua-deep]

How do you think things would have changed if Five has come back even younger than in canon? Like if he came back as 7 or 8 or even younger? Also, I love your writing. You’re an amazing writer and I love reading your stuff.

first of all that would be hilarious because as much as media has tricked you into thinking older child actors (who are easier to work with) are younger (I mean case in point, Five is supposed to be thirteen but the actor is fifteen and those two years can make a big difference at that age) or animated movies can’t decide on a size for their character, but for real seven-year-olds in real life are BABIES

that’s like. the equivalent of a second grader?? I think i was about to go into year three living in the netherlands. I thought the year six kids were ancient. I didn’t care about bodily harm and would just hurl myself into cartwheels and handstands (nowadays not so much)

That was about the age I was losing teeth for the Very First Time and also the age I almost gave myself a concussion playing on the playground equipment (I blacked out and woke up in the nurses office lmao) and I thought the singing talents of Sandy from Hamtaro were the greatest in the world (the twirling ribbon song was formative for me)

seven was also the age for me that i realized that romance was The Worst because my best friend george decided that the pulling pigtails version of bugging me was a sure fire way to get my attention or something like that. but like,, george and me had chicken pox together. we pretended we were cheetahs in our treetop bunkbed nest together (we had a very loose grasp of the difference between cheetahs and jaguars and other big cats, admittedly). He was my best friend he didn’t need to pull my hair or anything rip

like can you even IMAGINE if five came back as a second grader?? yeah like maybe someone would serve thirteen-year-old Five black coffee but no one is going to just hand this baby child anything with caffeine are you kidding me

his feet wouldn’t even be able to reach the peDALS OF THE CAR

wow this would inconvenience him so much

i can’t even find a picture of my brother that young smh but here’s him and me when he was? probably about nine or ten and I was actually probably about six and smiling with a closed mouth to hide the fact that i was missing teeth or something smh

that is TWO WHOLE BABIES right there i’m just genuinely dying at the thought of Five popping out and he’s just. a gradeschooler. that suit would have been swimming on him and he’s got little chubby cheeks built to absorb shock and whatever atrocious child haircut he had at that age 

(i have posted before about my genuine shock that five was ten in the comics. ten!! that’s a whole baby! a child! W H A T)

but?? does he pop up from jumping through his portal and look in the mirror and find that he’s missing some teeth? Can he whistle air through the gaps? i’m just picturing seven-year-old five getting socked in the face and losing some teeth or something and diego is right there to patronizingly tell him that it’s okay they’re probably just baby teeth and five is about to punch diego’s teeth out in a second if he keeps that up by jove

imagine five jumping and standing on the counter and he still can’t reach the marshmallows because they’re on the top shelf of the cupboard do you know how angry that would make him?? he would have about 60% less time for his siblings bullshit than normal because his small stature can only hold so much emotion at any one time and he has decided to go with seething rage for the foreseeable future

can you imagine how difficult that would be for Allison though?? Five at thirteen was bad but Five-at-around-Claire’s-age??? a billion times worse and she’s probably going to either be super avoidant because it’s painful or full on protective mama bear

it would definitely change a lot of plot stuff because i mean. no one’s going to let this tiny child drive. he can’t reach the pedals, duh. however, he might persuade one of the siblings (diego and klaus, probably) to drive him to griddy’s instead? Because with the options being “so help me i will walk there myself. alone. at night. as a small and innocent looking child” and driving him and keeping him company i think the latter wins out

(i’d nix griddy’s altogether but i’m way too invested in hazel and agnes getting together tbh)

hey wait does being that young mean that five doesn’t have his umbrella tattoo?? huh. well regardless if diego and klaus accompany him then the plot point of agnes telling the assassin squad about the tattoo can still happen so i guess it’s a moot point

but honestly the drama of having this tiny child just. completely annihilate the hit squad is hilarious to me, and it would also hit home the fact that hey! five might be telling the truth about everything and isn’t messed up by time travel! i mean whomst the fuck else would walk into a room and zero in on the seven-year-old no one else knows exists or is assumed dead by literally the whole ass world (and even if they didn’t he’s supposed to be 29) and demand he come with them and shit like man

Klaus: hey five what do you have

Five, stabbing his own arm to take the tracking device out: a knife

Diego: NO

other fun points include: the siblings bodily picking five up and five behaving like a very aggressive small breed of dog while simultaneously being super touch-starved and secretly appreciating being carried but would never admit it (whilst sober that is)

either they kept the old uniforms and five wears that or they have to scrounge up whatever they can find which means that five is dressed in some of claire’s clothes allison found stuffed in the bottom of her suitcase until they can go shopping and i’m not sure which is better tbh

hazel and cha-cha assuming that five is actually either diego or klaus bc those were the two adults in the coffee shop with the umbrella tattoo and eventually being confronted with the fact that their legendary adversary is a gradeschooler

five just being. so tired. all the time. my bedtime at seven years old was probably like. 8:30PM. kids need a lot of sleep!! so just five trying to keep himself awake because he has important stuff to do!! but doing the nod and bob because he can’t keep his eyes open

the trying-to-be-helpful but mildly-condescending strangers who stop five or talk down to him increase by tenfold. Teenagers out an about on the street along? eh. a seven-year-old? five is going to get so many concerns “where are your parents, sweetheart?” that he IS going to snap and kill a well meaning middle aged woman in the middle of the street

in a similar note the number of people who assume that he is the child of whatever sibling he happens to be in proximity to also increases tenfold and five does Not Appreciate This (and neither do half the siblings tbh bc now they have to pretend that they are responsible for this tiny feral child)

“FUCK” five says, loudly, prompting gasps from the delicate natured passerbys. 

“you can’t fucking say that, dude, you’re like. a baby.” klaus says, equally loudly and making everyone in earshot 70% more scandalized

“I am not associated with them” diego informs the masses with an edge of desperation

luther is just. so massive next to this tiny version of five. he could hold him in like, one hand. and maybe luther at one point was really good with kids but with his new body he’s awkward and it’s very sad

no one bats an eye at child Five toting an Entire Half of a Mannequin that is probably as big as he is around. Billy’s kid is currently emotionally attached to a brick he found in the alley behind his school. Gertie’s granddaughter refuses to leave the house without an old sock filled with pebbles tucked under her arm. Gary’s stepkid found a piece of driftwood on the beach and now it’s in their bed every night. Kids are weird and at least Five’s has a face for him to talk to i guess??

instead of luther threatening dolores he just looks at five with this gun that is way too big for him to have a hold of really and just. reaches out and scoops five up under his armpits and he’s just furiously wiggling and growling and luther is like “nope not putting you down until we agree that murder is not a solution”

every interaction with the handler is probably about 112% more creepy honestly but also what about the job?? either five a) gets an appropriately child sized desk like the ones you find in an actual gradeschool or b) he gets some kind of boosterseat for his chair and just has to sit at this desk that is comically oversized for him

the squad go to a restaurant and the server brings over the menus and hands five a children’s menu. without a word klaus just plucks it from five’s hands and substitutes it for his own because they have been kicked out of six whole restaurants and he is willing to eat the children’s chicken nugget meal if he had to god damn it

the apocalypse doesn’t happen because vanya is literally incapable of hurting a grade schooler right in front of her regardless of how pissed off at her family in general she is. that is a whole child. vanya works with children for her job. she can’t hurt an entire child in front of her?? like she can destroy the world and all the abstract children but this one child right in front of her? who is also her long lost brother and former sole confidant as children who wasn’t there for any of the general bullshit she just went through?? not so much

but like. even after the stop the apocalypse there’s still the issue of what to do with this entire child. like at least as a teenager five would be able to be somewhat independent but seven-year-old five can’t reach the sink to wash his hands without a step stool 

just the squad coming together to look after five without quite letting five know that’s what they’re doing because they don’t want to wake up to a knife in their chest or anything smh

five and claire meet and become an unstoppable duo of terror. patrick is an actually competent parent who is so exhausted 24/7 from raising his daughter that he just accepts five immediately because?? his brother-in-law being a time travelling 58-year-old in the body of a grade schooler who is partially feral from over forty years alone and probably has untreated ptsd? okay might as well happen

patrick “i didn’t trust allison with a child and yet i still trust her way more than the rest of you so i’m going to schedule five a doctor’s appointment or something because god knows he’s probably not up to date on his vaccinations and he’s hanging around claire and i doubt any of y’all even thought about that” hargreeves

the hargreeves all go to an amusement park as a family bonding activity. the mistake becomes clear when it’s revealed that five is too short to go on half the rides. the resulting meltdown gets them all kicked out and Diego just has five tossed over his shoulder still hurling insults at the ride attendant as they hoof it out of there

the family has to figure out everywhere they can go within walking distance because there’s still a cold war going on between allison and five over whether he has to be in a booster seat for any car rides or not

it’s basically just shenanigans with the family and five trying to figure out how to coexist and compromise and also look after one another when it’s been every man for themself pretty much all their lives

[lacewrites]

LOST DOG - tom holland imagine

Your dog disappeared after a rushed morning and you’ve been wandering the streets of the outside boroughs of london for a few days with your friend by your side when your house phone gets a call from a male voice you immediately become infatuated with. [this very much includes harrison bc best friends being friends and hanging out is my favourite thing in life]

Info (pls read):

 i’ll refer to the pupper as ‘they' bc it’s easier for me lol

y/m/n - your mother’s name (unless it’s your dad or carer or older siblings idk guys sorry i went with one)

y/l/n - your last name

y/f/n - your friend’s name

british spelling of mum bc hi hello i’m from this tiny island off Europe and yes finally i can write about brits whoo

^ is this not the cutest thing you’ve ever seen

warnings: none, this is pretty much just fluff. i’m more used to writing longer fics, this may not be personal enough? please send feedback!

For the past week, the weather had pretty much been scorching. You swore every time you left the house you rented a room in that the concrete was smoking, the cars in the not-too-far off distance appearing like in funhouse mirrors, wavy and distorted. Although you would have been enjoying the weather, there was a very important problem that had rained on the beautiful past few days.

You were alone in the house, having come back after hours of searching for your dog who had disappeared one night. The garden gate was left open after your parents went out the back to catch their flight. During their rush, the door wasn’t bolted and a breeze had opened it, shutting your dog out. You hadn’t heard anything from anyone in the past three days that you’d been putting up posters. You were back from school and all you had to do was look after the four legged family member, but before your responsibilities could start, they had ended with the bad news.

“Still no sign?” your friend, Y/F/N, asked as you opened the front door for her, letting her in. You went into the kitchen as you told her about how many posters you had printed and how many houses’ doors you’d knocked on, only to come back without your pet.

“I have no idea where they could be,” you sighed, offering her the box of prepackaged ice lollies, Y/F/N reaching in to take one. She’d been helping you look, driving you around to different parks and your frequently visited places before and after her work.

“Is there anywhere else we could check? Maybe there’s a few houses you go by often?” she asked.

“It’s been three days, I doubt they’re around here somewhere by now. They could be in any London borough at this point,” you shook your head. “We’ve literally checked every walking place, the only others are too many miles away.”

“Maybe we could go for another walk? Go a bit further this time?” she offered, taking out the footpath map your mum had kept in the kitchen newspaper stand.

“I’m so exhausted,” you whispered, dropping your head onto the cool counter. “I can’t sleep, I cried and managed to have about an hour, but I kept thinking of places we went to, what if we just passed them?”

“Well, what if-“ she cut off at the shrill ring of the telephone mounted on the wall beside the fridge, your legs carrying you over numbly. Reaching up, your fingers curled around the receiver of the vintage looking device, lifting it off and putting it to your ear.

“Hello, (y/l/n),” you spoke as the loud ring cut off, the sound of cars speeding by coming through a little garbled through the phone.

“Hi, is this (Y/m/n)?” the masculine voice gave your postcode and recited the phone number back to you as your ears and expression perked up.

“Yeah, that’s my mum, how can I help?” you asked, much more interested now that you knew it wasn’t an insurance call.

“Uh, I think my friend and I have found your dog?” he asked, a dog’s bark audible in the background.

“Oh my god,” you suddenly spoke, Y/F/N starting to listen in. After he gave an accurate description of the four-legged canine, you confirmed that he had indeed found your lost dog who you’d been very worried about finding.

“We’ve taken them to the local vet’s, do you want us to drop them off somewhere, or do you want to meet us here?” he asked. “We’re just waiting on results from a check-up on them."

“We’ll come and meet you, where are we going?” you asked, picking the pen off from the wall and writing the address he gave you onto the whiteboard on the wall beside the phone. Y/F/N copied it into her maps application on her phone and you thanked him a thousand times before you hung up after telling him a time when they could expect you.

You were the one driving this time, following your friend’s directions as you pushed the speed limit, finally pulling into the parking lot where you quickly pulled up the handbrake, put the car in neutral and sped into the office, leaving your friend behind by tossing her the keys to lock the car. Bursting through the doors, you immediately spotted the rich coat of the dog you’d had for years as they bounded over to you, jumping up onto your legs. You lowered yourself onto your knees, letting them sniff all around you and lick your hands as you grinned from ear to ear, your friend lowering herself to allow the dog to do the same to her as well as you both cooed in celebration.

“Hi,” you looked up at the voice you’d recognised from the phone, your smile still wide on your face as you stood up and threw your arms round the first boy, thanking him over and over again for finding your dog.

“I’m sorry, but thank you so so much, I can’t believe how far they went! We live like half an hour away by car, I don’t know how they managed to make their way here,” you babbled, thanking the other boy with a hug as well, who just chuckled, both smiling at your over the top gratitude from the excitement of finding the four-legged family member.

“It’s okay, just saw them wondering around and thought we’d bring them here,” the second boy shrugged, making you smile.

“I genuinely can’t believe that actual nice people found them, thank you so much guys,” you said with a smile.

“Honestly, no worries,” they were still smiling wide, though their eyes occasionally flitted down to the dog at your feet. “What’s their name?” they asked, crouching down to scratch at the dog’s fur. Once you’d told them, they affectionately started to refer to them by name as they continued to pet them, your dog reacting very favourably. Even when your friend’s phone rang and she had to rush off to pick up her siblings, you felt comfortable to stay with the two boys - Tom and Harrison as they’d introduced themselves - while you waited for the results from the vet.

“How long have you had them?” Tom asked, the three of your sitting on the floor with your dog.

“About two years, she was part of a box of puppies who were given to a shelter,” you explained, stroking your hand through the mid length fur as they lay by your guys’ feet.

“They’re a really good, well behaved dog,” Harrison also contributed, his hand scratching at the top of the almost sleeping canine’s head.

“Hey, guys, I’m happy to see you’ve got the owner,” the vet came out, smiling at the three of you.

“Hi, nice to meet you, is everything okay?” you asked, standing up and shaking the vet’s hand.

“They definitely need some food and water, nothing harmful ingested, they’ll be fine, right as rain. Just let them sleep a little bit more, and make sure you keep them fed and watered for the next week. They may be a little sluggish, but after meeting them I doubt it,” she chuckled, the dog nudging her leg with their nose as the boy and they also got up.

“That’s cool, thank you so much, do you need insurance details?” you asked, pulling out your phone to bring up the details your mother had emailed over when you caught her up through a phone call.

“I’ve sent everything over to your local vet’s. We’ll deal with it, but our time was for free, so don’t worry. Thank these boys instead, they took very good care of them, they did the right thing,” she smiled, the boys thanking her for her time and offering to shake her hand before the three of you left, detaching the belt the boys had used as a lead to instead attach your dog’s lead you brought from home.

“You guys need a lift home or something?” Tom asked, the three of you - well, four - standing in front of the clinic.

“Uh, no, we might just walk home or something,” you shrugged, Harrison looking at you a bit weirdly.

“In the thirty degree heat, walking a distance that’d take you half an hour to drive?” he asked, “Don’t be silly,” he chuckled. “You’re over eighteen, right?” he asked, and you felt yourself nod before you could even think about it. It was weird having passed that age, really.

“Where do you live?” Tom asked.

“North west London,” you replied.

“Cool, we’ll drive to the Queen’s head, beer garden, really nice food,” he shrugged, making you chuckle.

“I should be thanking you guys, I was thinking more like fast food, I can’t afford much else right now,” you said, smiling a little at their offer. Pretty much the most British thing ever.

“Okay, so buy us a coke,” Harrison shrugged, turning to walk, looking over his shoulder to check you were following. Once Tom had also turned, of course you were.

The three of you walked over to where Harrison lived. He disappeared inside to get his keys for his car, driving the three of you as he followed the sat nav to the pub you knew all too well. It was where you’d celebrated finishing school, exams, birthdays, whether you were of the legal age to drink or not. The food was delicious, had a great atmosphere, but it was also a hidden gem, somewhere pretty much only the immediate locals visited, which made you wonder how the two boys from West London knew of it. Most of the local kids, once they turned sixteen, got jobs there are servers, as did you, which you quit just last year to pursue further education.

“Y/n! How are you, babe?” one of the girls from the bar, her name was Millie, rushed around to the front of the bar, throwing her arms around your neck to hug you as you chuckled and hugged her back. She also reached down to pet your dog. It was one of the now more trendy dog friendly pubs, much to the workers’ delight.

“Hey guys!” Y/f/n exclaimed, wearing her working uniform and apron, rushing to you guys and throwing her arms around you with a light squeak, making you laugh again. “I’m so glad you’re here, things going good?” she asked.

“We're good, thank you, can we take a seat on the patio? I’ve got one designated driver,” you told her, your friend leaning behind the bar to pick up a roll of stickers, peeling one off. “This lovely guy, right here,” you gave Harrison’s shoulder a pat, your friend grinning wide as she stuck the sticker to his chest, making the boys laugh at her forward attitude.

“Thanks? I guess?”

“Tells all of us to look out and keep you guys safe,” Millie explained, finding the situation a little comical. You knew Y/f/n's ways, her eyes already wandering his face as if she wanted to memories every inch of his features. She was pretty much his height, something she always complained about, being tall, but you knew it worked in her favour instead of against her. “All right,” she whirled on her converse clad heels, going behind the bar with Millie as she pulled at her ponytail to tighten it. “What’s you two’s poison, and what can I get you other than a tall drink of water?” she flirted, making you chuckle.

“What’s the recommendation?” Tom asked you, leaning against the bar, lowering his voice a little as he stared at the beers and lagers on the blackboard as you left Y/f/n to flirt with his friend.

“Other than the obvious,” you pointed to the blackboard you knew he was eyeing mostly, “If you’re after some sweet cider, I recommend Lilley’s Mango, it’s an absolutely delicious 4% fruity still cider. They stock a lot of West country products, because the owner is from Gloucester,” you explained. “As for beers, Frontier Uk Craft lager is lush,” you said with a small smile.

“What are you going for?” he asked.

“I’m not telling you, but I advise you tell me so I can pay for it and thank you for finding my long lost family member?” you smiled, not realising how much he was admiring the crinkles by your eyes as you did so. He was hooked by your love for the four legged pet by your feet, but the way you smiled and managed to joke around, now that you were much more calm and comfortable, kept him captivated.

“All right, then, surprise me,” he shrugged, your face distorting in a grimace.

“What if it’s something you don’t like?” you asked.

“I promise it’ll be fine,” he chuckled, his elbow lightly nudging yours.

“Y/n, you want to order for both?” Millie asked.

“All three, actually,” you corrected, grinning your head off, the girl nodding with a chuckle. “Okay, so, because you both found my dog, you get a Gypsy Hill Beatnik Pale Ale,” Millie nodded, turning to take out a 330ml bottle from the fridge, “A Stella and a Peroni, to keep it safe,” you added, your friend picking up a glass to pour the chosen beer, “And I’ll take a Desperados and a Lilleys Mango, please guys,” you finished, the girls behind the counter chuckling. “Can I get an extra glass, and a bottle of water as well?” you asked, Millie nodding to get it for you. “What non alcoholic drink do you want, Harrison?” you asked, opening your phone case to take out your bank card.

“Y/f/n’s told me about the homemade lemonade,” he said, glancing to the girl to check he was correct.

“We’ve got peach and raspberry and an appletiser and elderflower one today,” she offered.

“A glass of elderflower,” he nodded.

“Awesome, all together, I’ll cap that at twenty quid, Y/n,” Millie said, lining up the glasses and bottles in front of you. “You want a tray?”

“Nah, I’ve still got the carrying skills,” you grinned, handing over your card. “Twenty five for a tip?” you bargained.

“All right, fine,” she rolled her eyes. “You realise that it would come to about 26 anyway, right?” she asked, putting the order through the till before she pressed card payment, handing you the machine, letting you sort out your payment.

“I can’t have my best student live without tips from her teacher,” you teased, making her chuckle. You were the one that had trained Millie, who was only about six months younger than you, but you’d worked there almost a year more, and now it was your friend’s turn to keep her doing the best job behind the bar. The three of you were quite good work friends.

“Fair enough. Would you guys like any food at all?” she asked, you leaving the decision up to the boys.

“What’s good to eat?” Tom asked, shrugging as you put the Stella and craft ale in front of him, letting Harrison take the peroni and lemonade. You slipped the lead up your arm into the crook of your elbow, picking up the unopened bottle of Desperados, cider and the bottle of water and glass in one hand. Y/f/n listed off the popular offers, the boys asking for a plate of some snacks before you also spoke up, getting a bit more hungry as they talked about it.

“A plate of nachos? Everything separate please?” you asked Millie.

“You got it, babe,” she disappeared into the kitchen after she gave Harrison a number on a stick, letting you guys walk outside to find a seat.

You sat right outside, in the shade, but it was so warm that the only purpose the shadow of the bushes had was that the sun wasn’t directly shining onto you. It was a nice change, and the three of you sat down at the table, you winding the lead around your leg to not let your dog escape, those a few of the dogs outside came to greet you guys, sniffing at your feet and clothes.

“I used to work here, by the way, I wasn’t being weird by knowing everything,” you said as you guys got comfy, leaning back in the padded chairs.

“Hey, it’s all good, the guys at my local pub pretty much know my order by heart,” Harrison shrugged, making you chuckle.

“Y/F/N is one hundred percent single by the way, not that it’s any of my business,” you said, smiling a little as you dug into your bag that you’d quickly picked up as you rushed out of the door, for some sunglasses.

The first round of drinks went down well, not too fast or too slow. Your time was spent drinking the cool, slightly bitter, alcohol - later very sweet lemonade for Harrison - in a comfortable atmosphere. You let your pet off their lead after a little while, letting them run around and make friends. While they did that, you got to know the boys a little better, expressing your gratitude a few more times, explaining how your few days passed without having the ecstatic pet running and lounging around at all times of the day.

“No, I just know that if Tessa would disappear I’d be distraught as well,” Tom shrugged, thoroughly understanding your situation. Harrison had gone back inside to put the now empty glasses and bottles back - and also to most likely catch a bit of time with your friend, but you didn’t want to ruin that by commenting on it.

“Yeah, it was a bit tough. Definitely weird not having them around,” you said, looking out at the playing dogs in the sun. “Thank you so much, you’ve genuinely just, like, saved my life,” you said with a relieved laugh.

“It’s honestly fine, happy to help,” he grinned, making you look back at him with a soft smile.

“It was really lucky that you guys found them, I’m not sure anyone else would have been so lovely,” you said, feeling your cheeks get a bit hot.

“We do our best, just what I would have wanted someone else to do if it was Tessa,” he shrugged, picking up the glass that you’d poured some Desperados in once he expressed interest in it. “That craft lager wasn’t bad, you know,” he added, changing the subject a little.

“Yeah? Good, I’m glad,” you grinned. “I definitely recommend this place, it’s really homely, and they switch the craft stuff around a little every month. Always something new to try,” you smiled, reaching forward to take a nacho chip and took some dip. “Plus when you’re actually here to have lunch, they make some really good food,” you added, Tom smiling at it. You’d gotten on really well during the afternoon, talking about everything and anything, getting onto jobs and childhoods even. It was like the three of you had known each other all your lives, and he knew that even Harrison would like to repeat something like this again. If even just to see your best friend again.

“How about you get some lunch with us this weekend, then? Actually eat food?” he offered, turning to you a little more to show that you had all of his attention.

“Only if I can invite Y/F/N,” you bargained, smiling a little at what you thought he was asking. You weren’t entirely sure about his intentions, but if it was going the way you were hoping, you would cancel anything on the earth for it.

“Yeah, that’s okay with me. You sure you’d want to double date?” Tom asked, surprising the both of you with how forward he managed to be.

“I guess I should maybe leave my dog at home for this date?” you asked, smiling a little wider, now that his intentions were revealed.

“I’ll just bring Tessa,” he shrugged, grinning from ear to ear. Shaking your head, you let out a laugh.

“Saturday, half past one, I’ll book a table,” you offered, Tom immediately nodding, pulling out his phone to offer it to you to put your number in.

“Hey,” Y/F/N walked out, holding a tray of partially filled glasses. “I brought you guys some cider tasters, they’re what’s going to be on the menu from next week, thought you’d want to try them,” she offered, putting one each in front of you.

“Thanks,” you grinned. “You free Saturday?” you asked, grinning cheekily at her as Tom chuckled.

“As always,” she nodded.

“How would you feel about coming back to work, but with a date?" you asked, seeing Harrison right behind her, holding another glass of lemonade.

“You guys work fast,” he joked, Tom reaching over to hit his shoulder playfully. “I beat you, though,” he added, Tom laughing and shaking his head as he threw back the taster cider.

“That one’s great,” he said, pointing to it, after having actually tasted the sweet alcohol.

“Uh, in answer to your question, I guess next Saturday can be a thing.”

“Next Saturday it is."

[everyonesomething]

Session 24

Capridi wakes up and looks around "How are we not out of this corn hell yet?"

Pepper rubs her eyes. "I didn't think you could get seasick watching grass go by."

Edith Runekill gets out of the car, stretching her legs. She's wearing one of her plainer dresses, and no make-up. But she's still wearing her wizard hat.

Edith Runekill: "You get used to it."

Capridi: "I don't want to"

Grim unfolds from the car and gets out to stretch. She eyes the infinite plains.

Pepper: "Please don't leave us in the corn."

Edith Runekill peers up at the farm house, anxiously.

Sydney Gaydos: "Certainly not one of the most, ah, colorful pieces of scenery we've had to drive past."

Edith Runekill starts trudging towards the door, when suddenly a dog starts barking excitedly.

Pepper suddenly feels conspicuous in her robin's egg blue vest. She magics the color down to what could be described as "dishwater".

Malkas Steele: Still in the car.

In this session, we get acquainted with the Runekills.

The set-up: We're at the Runekill farmstead at last! This is a longer update than some of the others, so bear with it. It's worth it.

The Game: After days of driving through field after field of corn, we've made it to Edith's childhood home. Everyone is sick of the car and desperate to stretch their legs except Mal who's sick and desperate for more understandable reasons.

The group is then greeted warmly by... the family dog.

Nora R.: A farm dog of indeterminate breed and generous disposition comes bounding up to the party. It hops onto Edith and starts licking her face.

Capridi doesnt like dogs

Capridi stays in the car with pepper

Edith Runekill: "Oh! Hey, Leif!" Edith starts smiling for the first time in days. She scratches the dog behind its ear. "Who's a good boy?"

Grim looks around at the dog. finally something she can relate to.

Nora R.: The dog sniffs at the rest of the group curiously, but he comes to realize that they are shaped and smell like Friends.

Sydney Gaydos won't be one of the ones left in the car! Plus there's a DOG. She gets out to follow behind Edith and TO SEE THE DOG WITH A HUGE GRIN.

Grim sets a cigarette in her mouth, then crouches to say hi to Dog

Pepper squints at the dog. She's used to smaller.

Nora R.: bark bark, etc.

Malkas: "Hey, so what if you tell them I died?"

"Got carried off by a bird, like your uncle."

Pepper: "Would they take our word for it?"

Edith Runekill: "Please don't make light of our family tragedies."

Grim does something useful with a ranger skill for once in her life and non verbally asks the dog what the mood is like in the house

Capridi: "Wow, and people think I'm manipulative."

Malkas: "Sorry."

Edith Runekill: "Look, it's gonna be fine. I told them you're coming and they said it's okay and we're just gonna eat dinner, sleep the night, and be on our way in the morning."

Malkas looks extremely unconvinced.

Edith Runekill: "And. I mean. If I told 'em you'd die. They'd ask what we were doing where people were getting killed..."

Capridi: "So I don't have to talk to anyone?"

Nora R.: The dog tells Grim, in a series of barks and assorted dog noises, that the house is busy with preparations for guests, one of whom has already arrived. He also says that his owner is very happy to see Edith again.

Grim gives the dog's ears a scratch and communicates to him silently that he is, in fact, a very good boy

Nora R.: The dog barks happily.

Grim straightens up and lights a cigarette

Grim socialised with Edith's family

It's a start! As a follow-up, the group also gets to socialize with Edith's older brother Tom. Edith asks him how it's going in the house and he shrugs before being introduced to the rest of them. He shakes Mal's hand and apologizes in advance for anything their parents might say but tries to assure him that they mean well. Mal most definitely is not assured, but says nothing. The group silently gives him moral support, but he gives no response—he's not expecting anyone to stick their neck out for him when things go south.

The group heads on in for dinner.

The farmhouse is nicely and neatly decorated with various country knick-knacks and pictures, but it all takes a backseat to Runekill—the family's ancestral greatsword engraved with runes—which hangs above the fireplace. In the parlor, a large man we assume to be Pa Runekill converses with a serious looking man in religious vestments as the group enters.

Malkas internally: Oh god they're banishing me to Hell.

Edith Runekill: "Oh... Pastor Jack. I... I didn't know you'd be here...?"

Capridi sees the pastor in the room, immediately regrets following the group in.

Edith Runekill looks very confused.

Pepper is already completely lost vis a vis Runekills.

Pastor John stands up and bows stiffly. "Reverend John Icedirge, Reformed Church of Auril." He sits back down.

Capridi doesn't make eye contact, is genuinely hoping for once that she's mistaken for livestock

Edith Runekill turns to look at Pa. "Hey Pa. Sorry to drop in on such short notice, but, well, like I said, we were headed down this way on our way to Prastuil University, and..."

Pa Runekill: "Why don't you go help your Ma and Grace with dinner in the kitchen? Got a lot of company tonight."

Edith Runekill: "Uh..."

"O... okay...?"

Capridi gets up "I'll help, c'mon edith."

Malkas looks desperately after Edith.

Pa Runekill puts up a hand. "Making guests do the cooking is bad manners. Have a seat, all of you. I'm eager to have a talk with my girl's... associates."

Edith Runekill vanishes kitchen-wards.

Capridi pretends not to hear and follows edith

Pepper watches Cap go, unsure if she ought to be jealous or not.

Pa Runekill glares after Capridi, who has flagrantly violated Hospitality Rules.

Grim glances after them, then back at Pa. She takes a seat because in certain very specific contexts she has manners.

Edith Runekill: {T Mal: hang in there, ok?}

Sydney Gaydos already on edge, this doesn't seem... the best. She sits down after Grim does at the table.

Pepper awkwardly perches on the closest thing that could be called a seat.

Malkas: {T Edith: This is how I die..}

Tom Runekill looks obviously uncomfortable at the exchange that just took place and sits down, worriedly.

Pa—whose name is Gordon, but that's neither here nor there as he is Pa—opens conversation by saying he's surprised to see Mal's stuck around as long as he has. The group comes to his defense, telling Pa that Mal is a solid and dedicated person. Pa then asks the rest of the group what their future plans are.

Pa Runekill: "Well."

"Why don't y'all tell me a little bit about yourselves while the girls are busy in the kitchen? What're you headed down to Prastuil for, anyways?"

Grim: "Miz Runekill's got some contacts down that way, going to look in on some research of theirs or somesuch. Well over my head."

Pepper watches Grim take point. What even IS Plaguewrought Land?

Pa Runekill looks at Grim, trying to place her.

Pa Runekill looks REASONABLY at ease with Grim. He gets Grim. Unlike the others, he's met people like Grim.

Pa Runekill: "How'd you end up mixed up with Edith, anyway? You don't seem like the college girl type. Since... you seem real, y'know? Like you care about real things, that matter."

Malkas , internally, passive-aggressive, "oh i guess your daughter doesnt matter bc shes all i care about"

Pastor John stares at Mal. It's a little upsetting.

Grim: "Don't know 'bout that." Grim takes a drag on her cigarette and considers for a moment. "I care about seein' right done where I can, and all these folks do too. So I guess we kinda fell into company."

"Y'all have worked the land out here a long time, so I hear?"

Malkas is used to humans giving him nasty looks for no reason. He's used to this.

Pa Runekill: "Since this land was opened up for settlement again, after the reclamation, yeah. The Runekills homesteaded on this land with the first wave of pioneers from Luskan."

Grim raises her eyebrows and nods

Pepper stares at Pastor John, for lack of anything else to do. He looks like an undertaker that got mixed up with one of his corpses.

Grim: "Miz Runekill's rightly proud've her roots. Saw the land on our way comin' in, hell of a bit of country. This been a good season?"

Pa Runekill: "Well, sayin' you're proud is one thing, puttin' in the work is something different, y'know? But yeah, we've had some good seasons. It's hard work, hard livin' sometimes. But it's a good life."

Pastor John then takes point on asking Pepper and Sydney a few questions.

Pastor John: "You two have been very quiet."

Pepper: { T Sydney: is it too late to pretend we don't speak Common }

Sydney Gaydos stiffens oh No. "That is because it would be rude to, ah, interrupt the conversation between Mr. Runekill and Grim."

Sydney Gaydos: { T Pepper: That would have been good to plan beforehand...}

Pepper grins at the Pastor with her best Elven graces.

Pepper: "Just taking in the scene, my good chum." What. "Sir." Her grin grows wider.

Pastor John smiles back. The expression does not sit naturally on his grave face.

Malkas expends an action to stop himself from openly sweating.

Pa Runekill glances at Pepper, then at the pastor. He sends a complicated series of small Plaguewrought facial tics. The pastor gracefully puts up a hand.

There's nothing suspicious about them or this group or this conversation at all.

Pa then asks the group if they've been having any trouble on the road. Grim tells him they came by the Dragon Coast and with Mal and Edith as navigators there's hardly been any trouble. A few bulletes, but otherwise a smooth trip.

Grim offers to repay the Runekill's hospitality in by way of pest control, but Pa turns her down. It's against hospitality and there aren't as many monsters in the area as other parts of the continent.

From the kitchen, Edith tries to get a feel for how the group is getting along in the parlor. Mal tries to be optimistic, but there's only so much he can do.

Edith Runekill: {T Mal: Everything going okay out there? I didn't expect to just be sent outta the room like that. Although in retrospect maybe I shoulda. I'm family, not a guest. But I left all of you holding the bag.}

Grim: "You got a charmed life out here, Mr Runekill. Glad t'know we got things worth defending."

Pa Runekill: "And folks worth defending."

Grim nods at that and puts out the end of her cigarette

Malkas: {T Edith: Not actually sure.. Grim's taking point, going surprisingly well. I think the Pastor's gonna kill me but I'm used to looks like that."}

Edith Runekill: {T Mal: Pastor Jack being here really threw me for a loop. Maybe he and Pa are friends now that I'm away? I don't remember ever seeing him outside of church. He's way different when he's not inhaling the weird fumes from burnt offerings to Auril, I gotta say.}

Capridi is watching edith stare into nothing, unsure why she's spacing out.

Edith Runekill: "Oh, sorry! Got a bit distracted." She goes back to plating dinner.

Malkas: {T Edith: He's giving me the creeps, that's for sure.}

Edith Runekill: {T Mal: We'll be out soon. And then its smooth sailing.}

Capridi: "Is it cool if i stay in here? That old fool in the cloth is creeping me out."

Ma Runekill: "Excuse me."

Malkas: {T Edith: If you say so...}

Capridi: "[Celestian]I'm sorry, I dont know what you're saying. I don't speak the language."

Ma Runekill: "You were just speaking Common a second ago."

Capridi: "My languge is uhhh [celestian] not good, [common] apologies."

Ma Runekill: "You been in my hair long enough. Out you go."

Ma Runekill shoos Capridi out of the kitchen. Grace gives her a sympathetic look.

Capridi: "[celestian] jeez lady, take a joke."

Capridi walks back into the room, reluctantly

Pepper watches Cap come back in the room.

Pa Runekill: "Glad you could join us again."

Grim isn't

Pepper is glad for the distraction.

Pa Runekill: "Have a seat. No need to be a stranger."

Capridi takes a seat "[celestial] Fine, whatever."

Tom Runekill returns to the dinner table. He flashes Mal what he hopes is a reassuring smile; it's an expression Mal might have seen on Edith's face before.

Malkas makes that White People Smile at Tom.

Pastor John: [Celestial] Always a pleasure to meet a fellow speaker of the Celestial tongue.

Tom's children come in as a distraction while Pastor John attempts to talk with Cap in celestial and Cap attempts to ignore him. Mercifully, Ma comes out to announce it's dinner time and everyone heads to the table to eat.

The elder Runekills exchange a look before everyone sits down to a veritable country feast. Grim, Pepper, and Syd take notice of both the look and that Pastor John has something in his lap.

Pepper percepts the hell out of this scene.

Pepper gives Grim a sidelong glance like "this is weird right".

Malkas becomes 80% more nervous.

Grim glances at Pepper. Yep.

Sydney Gaydos curiously leans over to see what the Pastor put on his lap, given her size she probably doesn't need to lean over too much.

Grim spots Syd leaning over and gives Pepper another look

Pepper raises an eyebrow at that. Ha ha! Now Plaguewrought folks aren't the only ones who can talk without speaking!

Grim nudges Pepper and her eyes move to Syd and back again

Pepper: {T Sydney: What's old creepy holding over there? }

Pa Runekill stands. He cuts a dramatic figure standing in front of the eponymous family blade, Runekill. It's not even really undercut by Grace's commemorative plates underneath.

Pa Runekill: "Pastor Jack."

"Wanna lead everyone in saying grace?"

Capridi thinks "fuck"

Pastor John begins saying an incantation to Auril... and casts Zone of Truth.

Well!

How about that?

Sydney Gaydos eye narrows suspiciously. "Are Zones of Truth a normal occurrence at dinners in Plaguewrought?"

Malkas 's eyes flick to the Pastor, then to Pa. He carefully says nothing.

Grim looks up at the pastor and clenches her knuckles on the table, just barely stopping herself from getting to her feet. She looks ready to kill

Capridi is thankful she had caught on. She can't handle anymore awkwardness, especially from someone like pastor john.

Pastor John sets the thing he'd kept in his lap on the table; it's a black briefcase. He opens it-- you catch sight of three scrolls in it before he removes a newspaper and closes the briefcase again.

Malkas tries to catch Edith's eye.

Pepper sees Grim out of the corner of her eye but grins at the pastor. "I dunno, Syd, they were common enough around my dinner table."

Edith Runekill looks at Ma and Pa all like wtf

Tom Runekill looks appalled

Pastor John: The newspaper is a copy of the Baldur's Gate Globe from a few weeks ago. 'HEROES SAVE TRAIN MENACED BY KRAKEN' screams the headline. There's a photo of the mayor of Baldur's Gate giving an award to an extremely bedraggled-looking Edith, Sydney, Mal, Pepper, and Grim.

Capridi just pretends she doesn't know celestial either. She nods "[celestial] be thankful for bathroom days of ten"

Pa Runekill: "Now then."

"'Not much trouble', huh?"

"A few bulettes."

"How about you tell me what you're really up to out here?"

Grim: "You accusin' me of bein' a liar, pastor?"

"We met a couple bulettes on the road. They didn't slow us down too much."

Grim speaks in a growl

Capridi sits back and lets grim be the awkwardness sponge for once.

Pastor John: "Why are you going to Prastuil?"

Grim: "Miz Runkill's got contacts there. Checkin' on some research."

"Like. I. Said."

Grim is so angry she's rigid

Pastor John: "Researching what, specifically."

Grim: "The hell's it to a man who won't ask straight up?"

Edith Runekill: "Er, the medieval cultures of the East...?"

Pepper mage hands a roll.

Pastor John: "Not you, Edith. I want to hear it from the others."

Capridi hopes grim gets angry enough to punch out the pastor

Grim is close

Grim: "If you got somethin' to say, I'd rather you say it."

"Than go interrogatin' us like no-good lowlifes that weren't invited here fair 'n square."

Pastor John: "Okay, fine. I was going to give you one last chance to own up. I was even willing to facilitate that with some of... Auril's grace."

Pepper: "HAH! Say grace! I get it!" she guffaws, pointing between Pa and the Pastor.

Grim: "Own up?"

Grim does get to her feet, staring at the pastor

Pastor John tells the group that he knows Edith called her mother a few weeks before asking about her uncle in Secomber, he knows that there have been lich sightings in places the group has been, and that Prastuil is a leading authority on ancient Thay.

Grim stares at the pastor like she's daring him to object

Grim: "And?"

Pepper: "Sounds to me like he's got some weird lich obsession," she says to Grim, taking a bite out of a roll.

Pa Runekill cuts to the chase. "You're dragging our baby girl out chasing a Lich."

Pa Runekill: "You gonna deny that?"

Grim shoots Pa a disbelieving look

Sydney Gaydos: "We do not drag anyone! Much less Edith. She's coming with us of her own free will!"

Grim: "Mr. Runekill, your daughter's been on the front line of this fight from the first day Szass Tam showed his rotten ass face in Neverwinter. She's a goddamn hero, and you all ought to pray you measure up when the time comes it matters round here."

Grim shoots that look at the pastor too

Grim: "Just what have you done about the long dead evil trampin' over good folks these last months, Pastor John Icedirge?"

Capridi leans over Mal towards Syd, "[draconoc] Syd, this is weird. Why is this guy so hard pressed to get in our business? Sounds like something a hard boiled detective would need to investigate."

Pepper , in a sing-song voice in the Pastor's direction--in Elvish so it sounds EXTRA beautiful--"[Elvish] You fu-ucked u-up."

Pastor John: "Looking after my flock. And I won't say fighting a lich is an honorable thing. But you aren't gonna get Gordon's daughter killed doing it."

Edith Runekill: "I know what I'm doing!"

Pepper is just helping herself to bits of the meal while this unfolds.

Edith Runekill: "Grim's right! I'm doing this of my own free will. I want to do this."

Grim looks the Pastor in the eye, hands flat on the table as she leans over towards him

Grim: "I ain't gonna get Edith killed."

Capridi whispers to Syd some more "[draconic] You'd think a guy who's all about god would be delighted someone is taking care of a lich..."

Pa Runekill: "Just 'cause you want something don't mean its good for you, Edith."

Grim is like zone of truth up your own ass

Tom Runekill and Grace exchange some truly alarmed looks and, as the conversation gets more heated, they take their kids and leave.

Pepper waves as the family leaves.

Sydney Gaydos looks surprised at the sudden draconic, but replies to Capridi. [Draconic] "It's her parents' poor attempt at "concern" and an invasion of privacy is what it is."

Capridi: "[draconic] I'm not talking about her folks, but this dude. He was the only one who knew about this, its not like her folks invited him to convince her."

Pastor John sidles around the side of the table and stands next to Edith, by the seat vacated by Tom, Jr.

Malkas clenches his fists.

Malkas 's hands are under the table, on his lap.

Grim moves around the other side of the table, around Pa, oh man oh man oh man

Pepper just. Stands.

Pastor John: "I was afraid it would come to this. Girls like her never do see reason or think of what's best for her family. I'm afraid we must insist she stays here with her family, where she belongs."

Grim raises a finger in the pastor's face

Grim: "Lay one goddamn hand on her, I dare you."

Edith Runekill stands up, furious. "Let's-- go. Let's just go. Get our bags and leave."

Capridi "[draconic] condescending old fart"

Malkas stands. His heart is pounding in his chest and the look on his face is exactly what people worry about when they see tieflings.

Pastor John pulls the scrolls out of his briefcase and, off of one of them, casts Sleep on Edith.

Malkas launches over the table.

Pepper recoils from the Pastor and Mal and heck, just everything from that side of the table.

Oh.

Well then.

Game on!

Mal's first order of business is to smash the hilt of his sword into the Pastor's face before grabbing Edith.

Pastor John: "I knew it!"

Malkas: [Infernal] "GET AWAY FROM HER YOU SON OF A BITCH."

Pepper: "Hey, you don't get the moral high ground on this!" she says to the Pastor.

Capridi: "[celestial]KICK HIS SORRY ASS!"

Pepper fist pumps. "[Elvish] Eat shit, you weird old scarecrow."

Grim smacks the pastor with a tray, restrains him with vines and silences the room fuck you

Capridi: "Grim I take back all the shit I said about you!"

Pepper has the last bit of her sentence cut off by magical silence, but the point got across.

Capridi realizes no one can hear her, gives grim two thumbs up.

Grim is still holding the tray, breathing hard. She is So Angry.

Sydney Gaydos LEAPS across the table to pummel the Pastor with her fists.

Malkas 's wild snarling is even worse without any sound. You get the feeling this is what that Devil Hunter saw on Ocila's face seconds before his throat was slit by a child.

With the room silenced and the Pastor restrained by vines, the fight is over and—aw who am I kidding, both Syd and Cap join in and give him a few good punches as well. He tries to retaliate with his war hammer, but it's difficult from under vines and two dragonborn without any way of casting spells.

So Pa takes Runekill down from the mantle and smacks Grim in the back of the head with it.

Grim is so fucking pissed at you Pa Runekill

Grim IS DISPLEASED THAT YOU SWORDED HER IN THE BACK UNPROVOKED

Grim DICK

Pepper distracts him by throwing pepper in his eyes, allowing Mal to escape out the door with an unconscious Edith.

Pepper salutes Mal as he passes.

Malkas yells "THANK YOU FOR DINNER, SORRY ABOUT YOUR DISHES MRS. RUNEKILL."

Malkas: "Nice to meet you, Tom, we've really gotta get going on account of your father tryin' to kidnap Edith."

Tom Runekill: "I didn't know about any of this, I swear!"

Malkas: "It's fine, you seem nice, you should bring Grace and the kids over to the city sometime, we'll get lunch!"

Malkas is speaking as he's running.

Tom Runekill: "I don't... I'm not gonna pretend I know why Edith wants to do this kinda thing, but-- but it's her choice, right?"

Malkas: "I won't let anything happen to her. If I gotta slay Asmodeus himself."

Tom Runekill: "And he broke Hospitality rules. I... I don't know what he's doin'..."

Tom Runekill looks SUPER grossed out

Back inside, Grim takes a few swings at Pa while Syd does her best to headbutt the Pastor into submission. He's too determined to go down from that and avoids a wild swing from Cap who's cussing him out the whole time.

Outside, Edith tries to make sense of what happened.

Edith Runekill: "Uh... wha... what's going on?"

"Did I... faint?"

Malkas: "Sleep spell from Pastor Asshole. Pasthole."

Edith Runekill: [infernal] "What the fuck?"

"Pastor Jack? Is that why he was there?"

"Ugh... I... I led us right into this..."

Malkas: "I may have slammed the end of my sword into his face? Bit of a rage blur."

"Your brother seems nice. I don't recommend going back in there."

"Maybe you should hide in the camper?"

Meanwhile, Pa's proven himself too irresponsible to wield a sword—he does keep swinging it at unarmed people—and Syd grabs it from him. Enraged, he turns to go outside to find Edith, but Pepper and Grim block his way.

Grim just gives Pa such a look

Pepper grins at Pa.

Pepper: " 'Sup? My good chum?"

Pa Runekill glares daggers at Pepper.

Pepper grins back. She's like right between him and the door now, good, great.

Edith Runekill: "Should we go back in? Where is everyone?"

Malkas: "No no no, they're coming. I think."

Malkas leans on the horn.

Edith Runekill: "You THINK?"

Malkas: "It's only been like 10 seconds give them a sec!"

Grim gives Pa a warning look, then turns her attention to Pepper and jerks her head at the Pastor

Grim: "Tell him to stand down."

"This ain't gettin' resolved by blows."

Pa Runekill: "Stand down, Reverend! This ain't working!"

Pastor John gives Pa a thumbs-up, as if to indicate that everything is still under control and he's got this.

Capridi keeps tearing at the priest

Pepper uses prestidigitation to flash a message right over the pastor's big stupid face. "GIVE UP." There's also a lewd Elvish word tacked on to the end of it.

Grim considers Silencing the car

Pastor John loses the battle of wills with Grim and gives up, though Cap is still on top of him. She gets in a few more hits before Grim hauls her off into the parlor. Beaten and thoroughly chumped chagrined, the Pastor makes to leave.

Pa Runekill stands and just glowers at the wreckage of the dinner. And at the Pastor.

Grim: "Get it together. We're done here."

Pa Runekill: "Shoulda never let you talk me into breaking hospitality."

Capridi struggles as grim drags her away

Grim drags Cap into the living room before she's released

Sydney Gaydos follows Grim and the struggling Cap out closely, still clutching the sword blade whoops.

Pastor John: "Is that more important than your daughter's life, Gordon?" He looks absolutely livid.

Pa Runekill: "You told me this work, you told me it'd be worth it in the end, you told me... you..."

Pepper pulls a bag out of a pocket, shovels some of the dinner inside, and seals it up. "We'll see about getting her to call more often, eh?" she grins at Pa.

Pepper heads out to the living room.

Capridi wrestles herself away from Grim. She glares at her for a bit, knowing she went overboard but doesn't want to admit it. She sits down and tries to take a few deep breaths, still livid.

Grim turns back to look through the door at the two men, still mad as hell

Malkas wipes his tail on the grass. It was covered in potato.

Pastor John glares at Grim, and at the door, and back at Grim.

Grim steps in front of the pastor as he makes to leave. She looks him up and down, then looks him in the eye

Capridi picks herself up and heads outside without a word.

Grim: "Look to your own soul, pastor. Think about who needs the protectin' around here. And from what."

Grim steps aside and shoots Pa the same look over the pastor's shoulder

Grim: "You both oughta be ashamed."

Tom Runekill: "Yeah! What she said!"

Pepper slaps a dinner roll down into Tom's hand.

Grim sets her hat back on her head and lifts her rifle from the doorway

Pastor John stares at Grim a while longer, then turns and leaves. He gets into his station wagon and drives away.

Malkas watches him as he goes.

Pastor John a cloud of dust rises as he drives down the access road.

Grim sets a cigarette in her mouth and speaks to Pa around it as she lights up

Grim: "You're gonna live to see your daughter become a hero, Mr Runekill. Kind books're written on."

Malkas gives Cap an approving nod.

Grim: "Try to make peace with that."

Sydney Gaydos sees that Grim has it handled and heads outside towards the car-camper.

Capridi sits in the car and lights up. She doesn't look at Mal.

Pa Runekill says, in a low voice, "I'd rather have her here than in a history book."

Grim: "World needs history books. S'what keeps us here."

Pa Runekill: "Guess I... I don't got much of a leg to stand on. I brought dishonor down upon myself and my family, and got repaid by losing here tonight."

"Just... just go, all right? Just go."

Grim looks Pa up and down and pauses for a moment, then offers out her hand

Grim: "You'll see her again, sir. Promise you that."

Pa Runekill: "Don't make promise you can't keep."

Grim: "Never do."

Pa Runekill: "Hm."

Pa Runekill doesn't shake Grim's hand.

Tom Runekill gives Pa a reproachful look, and slips past Grim and Pa to go outside.

Grim leaves it open for several moments, looking him in the eye, then nods and turns to head for the door

Outside, Tom is still stunned by what happened. He apologizes to Edith and swears he had no idea what their father had been planning.

Tom Runekill: "They broke hospitality!" He looks aghast.

Malkas eyes Tom.

Tom Runekill: "Malkas. I... I still don't really know why anybody would wanna live their life like... all of you..." He gestures vaguely at the group. "But... but you seem like a good man."

Malkas: "Thanks. You seem like a good man too. Tell your mom I'm sorry if I broke any plates."

Tom Runekill smiles wanly. "They were Grace's plates. And Pa broke most of 'em."

Pepper sits in the car with a huff.

Grim drops her things in the car and leans against it, surveying the endless fields while she smokes

Malkas: "Well, still sorry."

Capridi just wants to hurry up and get out of this corn carpeted hellscape.

Tom Runekill: "Yeah."

Malkas sits next to Edith. "You guys keep safe."

Tom Runekill turns to look at Sydney. Or, more specifically, at the sword in her hands. "Runekill..."

Malkas lights two cigarettes and gives one to Edith.

Tom Runekill: "That blades been in our family since long before we came to Plaguewrought Land. Our ancestors wielded it back in the far north, when they were still pirates and explorers and raiders off the coast of Luska. It's seen... a lotta adventures."

Pepper: "It also saw the back of Grim's head," she frowns.

Sydney Gaydos: "Oh! Gaydos had forgotten she disarmed the sword from your father." She holds it, hilt out, towards Tom. "Would you like it back? It sounds very important to the family."

Tom Runekill: "It's been passed from father to son for generations. But for the last few, it's just been an ornament on the mantelpiece. But... but that ain't right. It's... it's an adventurer's blade."

"And there's only one Runekill who's having an adventure now."

Tom Runekill smiles at Edith.

Tom Runekill gently pushes the sword back towards Sydney. "Keep it. Keep my sister safe. And... and... and make it part of a STORY again."

Tom Runekill: "Anyway, Pa's shown he clearly can't be trusted with the thing in the house."

Sydney Gaydos hums in agreement. "You honor Gaydos with such things. Both sword and trust in Edith's safety. However..." she then holds the sword towards Edith. "This should be yours then."

Grim: "That man's all pride 'n no honor." Grim mutters from the back of the car where she leaning.

Pepper starts singing "Yer Pa Is A Fuckin' Dick." It's a traditional Elvish ballad. At least, that's how her dad tells it.

Edith Runekill takes the sword because it's such a touching family moment. Even though she has literally no idea how to use the sword and will probably give it back to Sydney.

Edith Runekill waves the sword experimentally.

Edith Runekill stares in wonder as the runes all start glowing.

Edith Runekill: "Oh!"

"Um."

Pepper stops singing. "Nice."

Edith Runekill: "Th-this is. It's an honor."

"I... I didn't think a Runekill girl would ever get to... get to. Well. Have this."

Capridi wants everyone to stop talking so we can leave. This place sucks.

Edith Runekill looks from Sydney to Tom and back to Sydney again. "Thank you."

It's a bittersweet moment as Edith makes plans with Tom to have him and his family visit her in the future before the group gets in the car and leaves. Pepper—who definitely swiped the Pastor's briefcase after the fight—starts rifling through his notes and reading them.

Pepper is reading this priest's shitty notes out loud on the drive.

Pepper: "This guy's a piece of work."

"This shit-eater was gonna try to banish you, Mal."

Malkas: "That's not how tieflings work."

Pepper: "'Grime'. I think this is you Grim. 'Make her leave her gun outside'."

Grim grunts

Pepper: "'The elf'. 'Take away her musical instrument, keep her from bolstering the group's morale'. This joker thinks I'm a bard."

"'The dragonborn'. 'Trick into fridge? Find a big bird??'." She wrinkles her nose.

Sydney Gaydos: "That's... not how dragonborns work."

Pepper holds the notes out the side of the car and incinerates them, scattering the ashes.

Malkas stares straight ahead.

Grim regrets starting a fight before dinner, in retrospect

Capridi is ready for this day to be over with.

Pepper offers the bag of Dinner to Grim. It's a little jumbled up, but not too gravy soaked. "I swiped some stuff Mal didn't step in."

Malkas: ".. 'm sorry, Edith."

Edith Runekill: "It's... it's 10000% not your fault."

Grim eyeballs it like she might turn it down, then takes a roll and stacks it with whatever she can find

Malkas: "I coulda handled it better. ... There's a motel at the next rest stop..."

Malkas points to a passing sign.

Edith Runekill 's eyes are fixed on the road. She's very hungry.

Edith Runekill takes that exit.

Grim: "Gotta find somewhere to eat," she says with her mouth full

Pepper nods and mumbles in agreement, unable to speak around a mouth of chicken.

Helia (GM): The car pulls up to the "Best" Diner in the "Area"

Edith Runekill parks at the rest stop. She's still in an area she recognizes; she used to eat here a lot. There's a few teens eating burgers outside.

Sydney Gaydos: "Pepper... if you have no need for the briefcase, may Gayods have it? It's very official and nice looking."

Pepper: "Mm," she licks her fingers. "Help yourself," she hands it over, tucking the scrolls into her pocket first.

Sydney Gaydos makes a delighted little noise and starts examining and touching the briefcase with oohs and aahs. "Thank you! She will put this to great use."

Edith Runekill hops out of the car. And then realizes she should probably not carry a sword into a diner.

Malkas wordlessly exits the car.

Grim finishes eating before she enters the diner, as is only polite

Edith Runekill picks up her staff instead.

Malkas sits at a booth and buries his head in his hands.

Edith Runekill sits next to Mal and drapes her arm over his shoulders.

The group tries to decompress over a diner meal, but the day's events are a lot to process. Mal and Edith both wonder if they did something wrong.

Grim: "Weren't nothin' you two did."

Malkas orders a beer.

Grim: "Runekill, you're a good kind. An' that's worth all the more now, seein' where you come from."

Pepper: "That creep was gonna kidnap you! And your dad was just--ugh." She crosses her arms.

Edith Runekill: "What did Pa do...?"

Grim takes a drag on her cigarette and drags an ashtray over, frowning

Capridi gets up to go to the bathroom. She doesn't wanna hear about this again.

Pepper: "Well he thought it was a good idea, for starters."

Edith Runekill: "Yeah."

"I... I knew he didn't exactly approve of how I been living my life, but... I... I wasn't..."

Helia (GM): The diner lady comes by, "Well, Edith Runekill. Ain't you a sight for sore eyes!"

Grim: "Mal 'n me restrained the priest. So your pop took down that old sword and-..." She raises a hand to the back of her head, only realising dimly now that she's still sticky with blood.

Helia (GM): She goes :| "I'll come back later."

Grim looks up at the diner lady, rubbing blood from her fingers

Edith Runekill: "Oh, so that's what Tom meant about dishonoring the blade..."

[infernal] FUCK.

Malkas: "I... overreacted a bit."

Edith Runekill: "I-- I-- I'm mad at HIM, and at myself, and... and..."

Grim: "You reacted about right from where I was stood, Malkas."

"Got Edith right outta there."

"Best way things coulda gone."

Sydney Gaydos: "Gaydos is in agreement. It was the right thing to do."

Edith Runekill: "I mean. If. If he really put me to sleep to try to kidnap me after I said I wanted to leave. Then... well. I think a strong response was kinda justified."

Pepper: "You didn't, you absolutely didn't," she says to Mal. "You protected her more than her dad did." She bangs on the table once for emphasis.

Grim: "Didn't mean to go startin' a real throwdown in there, but there ain't so much choice in it when a man comes at you from behind with a greatsword." Grim is still pretty pissed about that.

Pepper: "Who sits by and lets someone do that to their own daughter? Who thinks that's a good idea?" She's ranting at the salt shaker.

Sydney Gaydos: "Ah because of that... Grim, would you like some healing? Only if you feel comfortable with it." Sydney holds out her hand towards her.

Edith Runekill: "My... my parents did, apparently." She's still kind of trying to grapple with this.

Malkas: "Not your mom, I don't think."

"She didn't seem on board."

Grim waves Sydney off

Edith Runekill: "Oh..."

"Well. That's good to know."

Grim: "I'll knit up good with a li'l rest, and a good meal. Teach me to be less trustin' of folks I turn my back on."

Capridi comes back, wiping her hands with a paper towel. She tosses it on the floor behind her and sits on the bar nearby.

Sydney Gaydos sighs internally, and gets up to dispose of the paper towel in a trashbin.

Malkas: "I feel like I should write a letter of apology."

"For jumping on the pastor."

"And stepping on the potatoes."

Edith Runekill: "Pastor Jack cast a spell on me with hostile intent. He oughta apologize to us."

"But... maybe you should apologize to Ma and Grace about the potatoes."

Malkas: "Yeah."

Capridi speaking of potatoes, cap orders some fries.

Pepper: "That pastor's a jackass, you don't owe people like that the time of day."

Edith Runekill takes a long drink of her beer.

Pepper drinks but she's frowning so much a good portion dribbles out around the corners of her mouth. She ain't even give a damn. >:C

Grim ashes her cigarette, watching Edith

Pepper does use magic to dry her clothes, though.

Grim: "You okay, Edith?"

Edith Runekill: "I... no, not really."

"I just... I don't know."

Grim nods

Grim: "Well, I reckon we all had enough silence. F'you wanna talk."

Grim is not used to saying these words, ever

Edith Runekill: "It's just... that was my home. It's one I had a lot of mixed feelings about, one I was glad to leave behind in a lot of ways, but it was still... it was still home."

"But... it isn't anymore, I reckon."

Grim nods slowly at that, smoking as she listens

Malkas nurses his beer and listens quietly.

Pepper runs her fingers through her hair.

Edith Runekill: "Wasn't expecting something like that to go down there. So. So I let my guard down, I wasn't watching carefully enough. But. But I didn't expect that to happen at the table I ate dinner at for the first 18 years of my life, beneath my sister in law's collection of novelty plates, over a meal I helped cook."

"I just... it... I feel... dislocated now?"

Grim removes her cigarette from her mouth and exhales, nodding. She thinks about it for a moment before she answers.

Grim: "Edith, I ain't ever had a fixed abode, so I don't know what you're comin' from. But...as I see it, home is where your life is."

"This-..." She gestures around. "This is just a place you come from."

Pepper: "And all that about 'I let my guard down', 'I wasn't watching', that's bullshit, none of this is on you." She picks up and points at Edith with the salt shaker.

Capridi finds herself agreeing with grim. What the hell.

Edith Runekill nods at Grim and Pepper. "I guess..."

Edith Runekill: "It's just. I... I can't help but feel like I lost something big today."

Pepper: "Family shouldn't do what your dad did. Family should be there for you. Like Mal was." She looks like she has more to say but she just sets the salt shaker down.

Grim regards Edith, then gives a twitch of a half smile

Grim: "S'about time you started travellin' light."

Edith Runekill: "'Cept for the big heavy sword I drove off with."

Grim smirks

Grim: "That sure don't hurt."

"....poor choice've words, it sure did hurt."

Pepper peers at the back of Grim's head.

Grim places her hand over Pepper's face and pushes her back out of her personal bubble

Capridi turns around on the stool, and casts cure wounds on Grim.

Edith Runekill: "Yeah. It hurt. But. But it's still a big thing. Both literally, and... yeah."

Pepper: "Grouch," she says, muffled around Grim's hand.

Grim stiffens a little and glances sideways at Capridi, taken by surprise.

Capridi turns back around to eat her fries.

Pepper raises an eyebrow and busies herself with her drink.

Grim shivers a little and raises a hand to the back of her head, then lifts her cigarette and settles down again

Edith Runekill: "I... I'm still kinda shocked Tom just gave it up. He spent his whole life expecting to inherit that blade. It's his birthright as the oldest son, y'know?:

Grim: "You hear what he said about that sword, 'n adventurers?"

"I reckon he half wishes he was goin' with you too."

Edith Runekill: "He... he's proud of his family. And farm life suits him. But... well, you're right. He grew up on the same sagas of our ancestors I did."

Grim: "You might just be the first Runekill in a while who ain't afraid've the past."

Grim still can't believe they were j'accused over hunting a literal lich like it's a bad thing

Edith Runekill: "Well..."

Malkas: "We didn't even hunt that Kraken."

"That was just bad luck."

Malkas is talking distantly.

Malkas: "Weird thing to accuse us of..."

Pepper: "He's a weird guy!"

Edith Runekill entwines her hand in Mal's. The one she's not holding her beer in, anyway.

Edith Runekill: "I mean. It is true that we're doing the kinda thing where a run of bad luck means you nearly get killed by a kraken. No sense denying that. But... well, we know. We made a decision to do this."

In the end, the group does end up having a nice family dinner in their own way.

Pepper starts in quietly with an encore of the Elvish classic "Yer Pa Is A Fuckin' Dick" while waiting for her food. She's substituting 'Pastor' for 'Pa' this time.

Edith Runekill: [Elvish] "I am honor-bound to warn you that, for the last decade, Elvish is taught as a foreign language at the high schools here, and therefore your ribald lyrics might not go as uncomprehended as you might have preferred."

Pepper: "[Elvish] Dooooon't care."

Grim: [Elvish] "Yeah knock it off dipshit."

Edith Runekill does a double-take

Pepper is unperturbed at the lyrical sounds of bards and poets creaking out of Grim's mouth.

Grim continues to smoke and drink

Pepper locks eyes with Grim, reaches into her pocket, and pulls out her Hat. She puts it on and sips her drink.

Grim eyes her over and goes back to her beer

Edith Runekill: "Excuse me????"

Grim: [Elvish] "Seen it at the store I sold Mal."

[Elvish] "Still funny."

Edith Runekill: "We're gonna get thrown outta here and I haven't eaten yet and I'm so hungry so please take that off"

Pepper mage hands it on top of Edith's wizard hat.

Edith Runekill yelps

Pepper: "[Elvish] Shhhh, do you wanna get us kicked out?"

Grim: [Elvish] "Quit it, you jackanapes."

Edith Runekill mage-hands it off and onto the seat, out of sight.

Pepper snorts.

Grim: "An' I thought we got out've eatin' with kids."

Malkas silently eats his burger.

Pepper retrieves it and puts the hat away.

Edith Runekill: "Dorothea and Junior's table-manners are way better than we're doing right now, to be honest."

Grim: "Who the hell calls a kid junior anyway."

Edith Runekill: "People... here? He's Tom, Jr., so we just call him Junior. Is... is that weird?"

"I don't think that's weird."

Grim eats her burger like she didn't eat basically a light meal in the car

Grim: "What happens when they grow up"

Pepper ordered some sort of chef's special.

Pepper: "Sometimes THEY have a kid and call him 'the third'."

Pepper shakes her head.

Edith Runekill: "Well then he just reverts back to being Tom...? I don't know. Remind me not to name any of my kids 'Malkas' I guess."

Grim: "Hell's wrong with folk."

"Give your kids people names, damn."

Pepper: "Got that right."

Grim is unaware of any irony in this statement

Pepper ditto.

So it goes.

[battlebornpeacemaker]

I got tagged by @misscleverlesbian like a while ago to do this so finally here we go (she did a cool thing where she put it under the cut so I am also gonna do that)

I tag @frxnkenstein @thenamesstark @butterfliesanddeadstars and um @bannettee if you guys want to, no big deal of course.

The Last:

1. Drink: Uhhhh I’m drinking a Monster right now but I guess the last one I technically finished was a Dr. Pepper

2. Phone Call: My mom lmao I needed her help buying textbooks for a couple of my classes

3. Text message: was to my girlfriend <3

4. Song you listened to: it was Me You by Russ

5. Time you cried: I think like last Wednesday night once I was like moved into my dorm and it really hit me that I was away from all of my friends

6. Dated somebody twice: I have never. I only have one ex and that was a mess and then my current girlfriend soooo

7. Kissed someone and regretted it: nope 

8. Have been cheated on: I mean as far as I am aware nope. There hasn’t really been a whole lot of opportunity

9. Lost someone close: I lost my grandpa a couple years ago but he and I weren’t super close so...i mean close enough it still really sucked.

10. Been depressed:  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: ummmm February....yeah...don’t drink kids

12. Favourite colours to wear: um I really like greys and blues and I have a lot of black so

In The Last Year Have You:

13. Made new friends: oh for sure. I made a bunch of friends in Ohio this time or soon after last year plus a few since I got back. Plus I made a bunch of friends at camp this summer

14. Fallen out of love: lmao no

15. Laughed until you cried: i mean every now and then a tear will come to my eyes but it isn’t really crying but like yeah sure probably

16. Found out somebody was talking about you: yeah camp drama is stupid but somehow I always end up thrown into it

17. Met somebody who changed you: oh definitely I have made a bunch of new friends who have shown me new ways to look at things or have made me try to look at myself in a more positive view so 

18. Found out who your friends are: i mean I found out who is willing to put in the effort to be my friend if i don’t see them every day so i guess that counts

19. Kissed someone on your Facebook: yepppp

20. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: all of them????

21. Do you have any pets: my guys I have a bunch...dogs, cats, snake, gecko, fish...so many...my house is a zoo

22. Do you want to change your name: I used to when I was younger bc nobody can pronounce it or spell it but I think it is pretty cool now so nah

23. What did you do for your last birthday: well I spent most of the day driving my friend around so that she could get all of her pre-hire shit done for camp but then some of my friends at camp surprised me with an ice cream cake and presents and it was super nice and they waited until we could be alone bc they knew I don’t like making a big deal out of it

24. What time did you wake up: like 7:30...yeah I wanted to talk to my girlfriend before she went to work

25. What were you doing at midnight: sleeping??? skyping???? sleeping while skyping? who knows time isn’t real...

26. Name something you can’t wait for: Thanksgiving break so I can go hoooome and see my girlfriend (and like obviously also my friends...and family)

27. When was the last time you saw your mom: last Monday before I left for school

28. What are you listening to right now: currently Prisoners by Our Last Night

29. Have you ever talked to somebody named Tom: lmao yeah my uncle is named Tom

30. Something that gets on your nerves: it bugs me when people start to say something that sounds important and then say nevermind...ugh

31. Most visited website: honestly probably this hellsite

32. Hair colour: it’s like blondish redish...i dunno

33. Long or short hair: very short. like i need to rebuzz it but basically very very short

34. Do you have a crush on somebody: i mean.....my girlfriend is kinda cute idk

35. What do you like about yourself: I’m really dedicated to the things that I believe in and I stand up for them. I also hardcore support my friends

36. Piercings: I have my ears double pierced and then my cartilage on my left ear plus my nose

37. Blood type: O maybe...probably...yeah

38. Nickname: Teag, Dad

39. Relationship status: Don’t know if I have mentioned it but I have an amazing girlfriend

40. Zodiac: gemini...i know i know

41. Pronouns: she/her? I guess

42. Favourite tv shows: It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia and Breakout Kings

43. Tattoos: I have like 7... 3 on my feet, 1 on my ankle, 1 on my wrist, 1 on my shoulder, and 1 on my arm

44. Right or left handed: right

45. Surgery: i got my wisdom teeth taken out...does that count?

46. Sport: I used to play soccer and volleyball and a little bit of rugby

47. Vacation: I honestly want to go everywhere so....last one i took tho...probably a couple years back to a ranch in the hill country

48. Pair of trainers: I haven’t bought any in the last year but I finally started wearing a new pair since I trashed my last ones

49. Eating: I mean I had a microwave pizza and some cookies for dinner bc I am an adult

50. Fav drink: ummm I really like monsters, and sweet tea, and normal tea

51. What you’re up to: Avoiding reading my Accounting textbook honestly

52. Waiting for: my girlfriend to call me

53. Want: for my dorm to be fucking warmer instead of a tundra or you know to see my friends and girlfriend in person again whatever

54. Get married: I want to some day...but I’m 19 rn sooo not the ideal time you know

55. Career: some sort of developmental biology research

56. Hugs or kisses: kisses...the closeness of a hug but better

57. Lips or eyes: fuck...both.................if i gotta choose one then eyes

58. Shorter or taller: shorter

59. Older or younger: older...but just a little bit...like 7 months

60. Nice arms or stomach: ummmm idc....arms maybe?

61. Hook up or relationship: relationship for sure

62. Troublemaker or hesitant: hesitant honestly

63. Kissed a stranger: nope

64. Drank hard liquor: lmao yeah...yikes

65. Lost glasses: nope bc these things are always on my fucking face bc I am blind

66. Turned someone down: i mean like not specifically...definitely done the not interested vibe but never actually said no to someone asking me out

67. Sex on the first date: depends on the person but sure

68. Broken someone’s heart: I doubt it

69. Had your heart broken: like....kinda...i dunno that’s really dramatic...but yeah kinda

70. Been arrested: nope

71. Cried when someone died: I mean yeah it sucks when people die

72. Fallen for a friend: yepppp

Do You Believe In:

73. Yourself: I mean I am trying to...it’s a process

74. Miracles: no

75: Love at first sight: no i think love is something that you have to make and put effort into

76. Santa Claus: nah

77. Kiss on the first date: sure

78: Angels: not particularly 

Other:

79. Eye Colour: blue

80. Favourite movie: standalone movie- Fight Club movie set- Back to the Future

[blaisein]

ok so here’s the story from a-z so i’ve never vacationed at a lake before?? but apparently the fam was into it idk. so three of my siblings went down to the dock where i was reading (it’s a creepy ass dock scratch that a creepy ass place i have the receipts so does kianna ask her it is on its friday the 13th shit and did i mention i have to sleep alone in one of the cabins tonight? boi bai but anyway) they were all like omg caelyn get in the water with us and i was like probs not but ok. and they are splashing and being gross but highkey i’m too scared bc for some reason the water was giving me anaconda the movie vibes so i wasn’t gonna go in! but they are stinky and calling me out for being scared (i’m the oldest out of who was there but do i care? no it’s scary) and somehow they convinced me to get in. well more like pushed they pushed me in. i was screaming. like i tried to climb back up and these demons would kick my head back down like what !!!! anyway all drama aside i eventually was okay with it and we were like u kno what would be cool? floaties. or whatever those big things are called like tubes and shark floats or wtvr. so we got in we were splashing but lowkey i was waiting for the snakes to come. but anyway so we’re racing and stuff and eventually i was over it so i just got out and my siblings were like omg caelyn get your float as i was like ok but it like .. started to drift away. by then i was too lazy to get it even tho i def could have (ok actually i was once again scared bc i floated towards the creepy hanging boat we have so i said not today) but they started yelling bc it was my fault but meanwhile none of their asses were getting it either if it was such a big deal ??? so i was like i am only getting it if y'all swim with me and they wouldn’t and tbh it’s pathetic lol i’m 4 years older than the oldest one my sisters that were there but whatever. so they are just being mean and i’m too scared and so it starts to get FAR like so far away so i actually start swimming bc imma get my ass beat if i lose it. so i head off, super scared bc i know the snakes were following me. and jet skis and boats and shit are making waves so i’m like fr and the tube is just so gone now but i’m swimming anyway. i mean in a blink of an eye this floatie vanished. then i’m like damn imma drown (the irony bc i used to swim competitively like i’m a swimmer but i did NOT want to do this i wanted to die via drowning instead of snakes ok) but eventually i’m like “HELP OMG HELP” bc i was getting too lazy and then this big boat comes and is like “um u ok fam” and i said “no i’m dying and i lost my floatie” bc by then my man was gone like out of sight idk how it happened. so i can still hear my siblings yelling at me from the shore, the skanks were salty bc they knew they’d get in trouble too. then the people in the boat pick me up but tbh in that moment i felt like if my brother and sisters weren’t there i may have been kidnapped bc i’m paranoid. anyway. so i am getting yelled at by them ugh so annoying so i haul ass up to the house to tell my parents and my grandparents about what happened. i rly didn’t want to but i swear my little siblings were bullying me! lol. my gma is like fr caelyn and my mom was like just go swim for it but ??? pls. so my dad and grandpa are like ok we’re gonna drive to the other end bc he thought he could see it out of the window (this is so dramatic all for a tube!!) like he was out there with binoculars. i felt bad so i was like “ok i’ll stay in my bathing suit so i can dive in this is my duty my responsibility my fault” n everyone rolled their eyes bc they know i’m flaky lol. anyway we get in the car and my grandpa drives us to the house where he thinks he saw it get stuck by a pier. so we walk up to the door (the house is gorgeous it’s aesthetic probs cost a million and bajillion dollars) and knock. no one answers. we see packages out front so we’re like “ok maybe they’re away” so my grandpa sNEAKS AROUND BACK AND STARTS TRESPASSING and i’m like oh no this is death. so i go with him and we run out back and get on their dock which is LIT. i’m talking hammocks, jet skis, couches, chairs, a boat, a bAR LIKE AN ALCOHOL BAR (lowkey i looked for some jameson), and all this crap i was shook. we looked and couldn’t find this stupid ass float thing and then a boat comes thru. it’s the people and the dog that saved my life!! but like … they were getting close and i was sure they were getting ready to dock so i start sweating. this was their house we’re about to get our asses beat. so my grandpa’s charming ass self starts to explain the situation and the lady is like … ok she said okay like maybe 50 times i was fr sweating. perspiration was real. and then like they start actually connecting i was like um what’s happening. they’re talking and he’s being all smooth and the husband was like ok lemme get out on one of our thousand jet skis and see if i can find it. and so my grandpa and the wife are just talking and i’m sitting there with the dog chilling then they’re like “omg we have the same lawyer !! what” like they are BONDING OVER HERE HE GOT HER NUMBER SHE’S LIKE COME OVER FOR A COCKTAIL?!? i was shook like we fr were committing a crime and snooping and btw they like saved my life earlier and def thought i was problematic but here we are. then i start talking w them and they live right next to my university they offered me to chill during the school year like ???? and she said if i ever wanted to VACATION WITH THEM in california i could like wffffff they are freaking millionaires i will take them up on that. anyway so we made bros with these people and they were like ok we’ll text u if we find it (text us wtf is happening guys this is all bc of a floatie and my problematic lazy ass). but i mean we still didn’t find the tube but by then we said whatever let’s just buy a new one (after 2 hours we came to this genius conclusion). so we go back to our cabins and my grandpa is like OMG I SEE IT HOP BACK IN THE CAR and by now i’m 50 shades of done with this but it’s my fault so i hauled ass. so we get in the car and start driving god knows where i’m like wtf but we arrive at ANOTHER HOUSE it’s under construction so my grandpa is like yeah we can def trespass here too and i’m like !! tf ??? but i get out anyway. and #1 i’m like how do you know the floatie is here this is tragic. so we start walking towards the lake but it’s like all woods here i’m fr walking in my bikini and flip flops it’s tragic. so my grandpa is like “ok u stop i don’t want you to get hurt so just stand here” and tbh i didn’t protest bc i’m lazy trash and also i know he wouldn’t let me i could get in trouble lol. so my 72 year old grandfather in his golf shirt and khaki pants starts climbing down to the lake and i see him JUMP OVER A FENCe he is as extra as i am. but yeah so then he disappears and he calls me and he’s like “is the tube black with yellow shit” and i said !!!! that’s it!! so 5 mins later he runs up, sweating and holding the tube i just stood there like “this was the most extra thing they are $5 at the store” but we found it we got it we survived and then we went home and had drinks with the millionaires lol so this was very long but i’m not a good story teller it was so DRAMATIC and i don’t think i hyped up enough the part where i almost died i was going under my fear was crimpling. but lol the end!! this was not worth the wait lol but lemme tell you the millionaires are cool i’m about to go jet ski also hmu if you wanna see pics of my friday the 13 house i'm sleeping in alone i'm shook

[jimin-infires-life]

La Douleur Exquise | Epilogue

Jimin x Reader | Yoongi x Reader | Taehyung x Reader

Part 1 | Part 2 | Epilogue

Genre: Angst and Fluff

Word Count: 2,374 words

A/N: so you guys are gonna enjoy this bc @extraterrestrial-taehyung​ (my editor) wrote a fluff ending for this (but it’s still kinda aNGSTY)

La Douleur Exquise- (n.) the heart-wrenching pain of wanting the affection of someone you know you can never have.

Saudade- (n.) the feeling of longing for something or someone who you love and which is lost.

December 13, 2029

It was the night before the big barbeque that you and Yoongi had planned for your little seven year old twins’ birthday. A lot had happened in the past eight years. Yoongi had proposed to you in the middle of a crowded theme park, you had given birth to two twin boys and named them after your favorite people in the world, and lastly, you had made up with your best friend, Park Jimin.

As you tucked the eldest twin into his bed, he looked at you with inquisitive eyes. “Mommy, can you tell me the story again?” His dark brown eyes peered into yours, making you give into his demands.

You sat down next to his small body on the bed and sighed. “I can, but I’ve told you this story too many times Taehyung.” His puppy eyes begged for a night time story and you smiled at how similar he was to him. “Fine, I’ll tell you.” Little Taehyung clapped for joy as he snuggled into bed, waiting for you to tell the story. “It was years ago when I met him, my second love-”

From the other side of the room, the youngest twin called out your name as he jumped up and down on his bed. “Mommy, who was your first love then?”

“Jimin! I told you not to jump on your bed! Lay down like a good boy and then I’ll tell you his story.” You sweetly scolded him, making sure he would listen to you. Jimin settled down and went back under his sheets, and you continued your story.

“When I met my second love, I was heartbroken. My first love left me in despair-”

Taehyung interrupted you, and showed his boxy smile, which was eerily similar to his. “Mommy, what does despair mean?”

“It means sadness, darling.” You softly pet his dark hair and looked at the other side of the room towards Jimin. “My first love made me sad, and I was all alone. His name was Park Jimin-”

Jimin smiled at you as he jumped out of his bed and ran to Taehyung’s. “That’s my name, Mommy! You never told me about that!” He jumped up onto Taehyung’s bed and crawled into your lap. He set his head down and looked up at your face, which had a bittersweet smile.

“He wasn’t very smart, like you.” Jimin knitted his small browns and frowned as he tried to get mad at you. His face made you and Taehyung laugh. “I’m just kidding, you’re smart and adorable. Park Jimin- the man who broke my heart- was in love with another, but I loved him, until I met my second love. Who says people can’t love more than once? I met him- my second love- at the lowest point in my life, and he made me happy. He was-”

Taehyung, who was attentively listening, interrupted you once more. “Kim Taehyung! That’s me!”

A chuckle left your lips as you petted Jimin’s soft hair. Your gaze shifted between your two boys and a smile emerged on your face. “He was- and still is- special to me. I was going to marry him, until he died. I was hurt and at another low point until your father made me realize that I could love again. Then, the both of you came into our lives, and now, here we are.”

Dissatisfied with the ending, Taehyung sat up and showed you a frown. “You forgot to talk about the part where-”

You interrupted Taehyung, trying to get him to fall asleep. “Darling, it’s way past your bedtime. We have a party tomorrow and you have to get up early. I’ll tell you the rest of the story, I promise.” Taehyung held out his pinky, waiting for your pinky to wrap around his. When you did, Taehyung’s boxy smile reappeared on his face and he snuggled back into his bed. When you looked down at your lap, you saw that little Jimin had fallen asleep. You carefully picked him up and gently set him down onto his bed. You kissed his forehead, and Taehyung’s forehead, before closing the lights and leaving their room.

As you entered your bedroom, you saw Yoongi wrapped around with blankets, sitting up and reading a book. A smile appeared on your face. “I didn’t think you would read instead of going to sleep.” Yoongi looked up and gazed at you through his hipster glasses. You walked to the bed and crawled under the warm sheets, snuggling next to Yoongi.

“I honestly wanted to sleep, but Namjoon made me buy this book earlier today and I can’t put it down.” Yoongi looked down at you snuggling into his chest, trying to look at what he was reading.

Your eyes looked up to meet Yoongi’s gaze, and you smiled. “Have I ever told you how much I love you?” You whispered to him.

Yoongi chuckled and showed you his gummy smile, which made you fall for him every time. “I wouldn’t mind hearing it one more time.”

“I love you, Min Yoongi.”

December 14, 2029

The first guest that came over was Namjoon. At the front door, he greeted you with a warm hug and an apology of how he had treated you years ago. He had left his fuckboy past behind him and became a lawyer to defend those who were wrongfully accused. He quickly moved on to Yoongi to discuss the book, apparently called Demian, that Yoongi couldn’t put down yesterday. As he walked into the living room, he spotted the two little twins sitting on the couch, playing with their dog. Namjoon ran up to them and gave them a high five, along with a present they weren’t supposed to open before the party started.

The next person to show up was Jungkook and Minhee. When they finally decided it was time, the both of them ended up marrying each other and had a little daughter by the name of Eunjin. As they stepped into your house and gave you and Yoongi a hug, you noticed Eunjin shyly walking in behind them. She was about the same age as Taehyung and Jimin.

As you made everyone settle down into the living room to talk, you noticed Eunjin sitting alone on the couch, staring at Taehyung and Jimin across the living room playing with their dog.

You walked towards Eunjin, who was looking up at you with fearful eyes, but when you showed her your best smile, she relaxed. Once you were right next to her, you kneeled down and talked to her. “I saw you looking at Taehyung and Jimin. Do you want to play with them?” She quickly nodded and got up from the couch.

“Can I really?” Her soft voice asked. You got up and took her small hand into yours. You pulled her towards the backyard’s door, where Taehyung and Jimin were teasing their small dog. When they saw the little girl walk towards them, they dropped everything that was in their hands and stared.

Astonished by their reaction, you chuckled. “Taehyung, Jimin, this is Eunjin.” You gazed down at your children’s faces to see them shocked. They were astounded by Eunjin’s beauty, and when they realized that she wanted to play with them, they were fighting for the chance to play with her first. Eunjin, who was surprised at their loudness, backed away for a second. You bent down and approvingly nodded. “They’re always like this when they see someone they like. Go say hi.”

Suddenly, the doorbell rang. You got up and walked through the house to the front door. As you put your hand on the doorknob, you had a feeling of who it was. After quickly opening the door with a smile, you were greeted by Park Jimin; his beautiful hair was dyed black and his soft eyes lovingly stared at you. Your looked back into the living room to spot Yoongi having a heated discussion with Jungkook and Namjoon. You didn’t want to face Jimin alone; even though you were over him, he would never stop saying how much he had loved you. He never even had a girlfriend after Minhee, saying that the only one for him was you.

“Jimin,” You forced your smile to stick to your face. “Come in.” As he stepped in, his open arms went in for a hug.

His tightly held your body as if it was the last chance he had. “Y/N,” He whispered. “I love you.”

As you stepped out of the hug, your smile faltered. “I know.”

---

At around four or five in the evening, all the guests had come over and accumulated in the backyard, drinking fruit punch and eating crackers. Jin had brought his wife and kids, who were way older than your children, and Hoseok brought his dancer girlfriend, who seemed like a complete bitch.

As the sun started to set, you decided it was time to cut the cake, and went off to find your small children. After you looked around the living room and saw no sight of them, you went upstairs to their bedroom to find them.

Your hand was on their doorknob, ready to turn, when you heard your children’s raised voices.

“I’m going to marry Eunjin!” Taehyung’s voice loudly proclaimed.

“No, I’m going to marry her! She said she liked me better than you!” Little Jimin yelled out.

Immediately wanting to end the fight, you opened up the door to Taehyung and Jimin’s colorful bedroom, filled with their books and toys. In the middle of their room, Taehyung was frowning at Jimin, who had Eunjin’s hands interlaced with his. Eunjin’s head turned towards you, gazing at you with eyes asking for help. “Yah! Jimin and Taehyung! Stop fighting and come downstairs to cut your cake!”

At the sound of hearing the word ‘cake’, the children ran out the bedroom and down the stairs. You slowly followed behind them, watching them leave through the backyard door. As you walked down the stairs, you looked down at the living room and saw there was no other soul besides you and Jimin, not the young Jimin, but Park Jimin. He was standing by the bottom of the stairway, nonchalantly sipping his glass of fruit punch and looking around the room until his eyes met yours. He smiled and you met him at the bottom of the stairway.

“How can you convince me that you don’t love me when you name your own child after me?” He asked, eyes piqued with interest.

You looked away, trying to find the proper way to word your feelings. “I love you, I do, but not in the way you think I do.” You looked up at him with confident eyes. “I named him after my best friend. The one who was always there for me, the one who would always tell me his secrets, the one who would tell me how he really felt. I didn’t name him after someone who would still pine for the person they liked even after they were rejected.” You gazed up into Jimin’s indifferent eyes; he was used to your rejection, and would keep on reminding you about his feelings deep into the future.

He laughed, his eyes turned into crescents as a smile appeared on his lips. “But still, you had everyone else you could name him after, if you wanted a friend’s name. Why me?”

“Just because.”

---

After Jimin and Taehyung blew out the candles on their ice cream cake, they ripped open their presents one by one in the backyard. Everyone personally gave them their presents, and when it came for Park Jimin to give them their presents, he had something special in store for little Jimin.

For Taehyung, he had given him a little toy truck, but for Jimin, he kneeled down and gave him advice. “When you fall in love with someone, go after them. Don’t be like me and lose. Now hold your hand out.” Perplexed, the little Jimin held out his hand, and older Jimin gave him fresh lavender flowers that were hidden behind his back. “Give these to someone you love, and fight for her, even when you know you’ll lose.”

Little Jimin looked down at his small hands and gently touched the purple petals, knowing who to give the flowers to. He looked up at the man who gave him the flowers. “Who are you?”

“I’m just a nobody.” Jimin got up from his kneeling position and turned around, walking away from the little boy, knowing that he’ll forever live in regret of what could have happened.

Happy alternative ending written by @extraterrestrial-taehyung:

“I’m just a nobody.” He spoke with a somber tone and a sad smile that revealed his true emotions.

From behind them, you hesitated only a moment before speaking up. “Park Jimin.” Your sharp, yet soft tone made the both of them shift their attention to you as you moved forward. “Boys, remember when I promised to finish that story last night? Well, here it is…” Your eyes met Jimin’s and you smiled softly. “This,” You indicated towards your first love, “is Jimin. Park Jimin.”

You looked from little Jimin to your best friend and back again, watching their expressions. Looks of shock, confusion, and then happiness appeared on their faces. Little Jimin ran forward and engulfed the man in a hug, catching him off-guard. He hesitated only a moment before he reciprocated the foreign affection. “We have the same name!” Little Jimin giggled and then unlatched himself from Jimin, running over to where Taehyung and Eunjin stood.

Turning a light shade of pink, he held out the flowers he had received to the young girl. “These are for you.” He spoke softly, glancing at his brother with a triumphant look as she accepted the gift wordlessly. “Yah!” Taehyung yelled, his silly grin making an appearance. “That’s not fair! I want to marry Eunjin!” He started after little Jimin who ran and hid behind you. You stepped out of the way and the two of them took off across the yard, yelling at the top of their lungs.

You couldn’t help but beam as you felt Yoongi’s arms slip around you, and looking around, you could see all your old friends smiling too. Though life had been unforgiving and almost cruel the past few years, the end product seemed to make it all worth it.

jsdjfkal;sdjk i can’t believe this small series is over (i can totally write about eunjin’s story)

also you guys can tell me who you want to see if i write a happy au for this story? or i’ll just write a blackbear inspired thing that’s hella long and full of emotions

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