#i lost seven years of my life watching this vlive

[dreammutual-remade]

pouty :(

[jimimn]

I know we always say we found BTS when we most needed them and that's a really sweet way to think in my opinion and yet I still get sad because I wasn't able to find them sooner. It especially gets hard when I see tweets like "this was released 5 years ago" or "they did this 7 years ago" and I feel so lethargic because I wasn't there to experience these things with them. To me it will always just be a tweet about something I couldn't experience myself... I know I shouldn't think like this because I found them now and they are with me.. But these kind of thoughts are always in my mind I guess. Even if I don't think about this daily because I just enjoy the contents and the music and whatever they choose to share with us, sometimes I can't help but feel this way. I know a lot of newer army feel this way and I'm not alone in this. I really feel like a missed out on a lot of things now with them going solo music-wise. I really feel like I missed out on the concerts, on experiencing comebacks, vlives, promotions, music shows, them achieving new things and breaking into the music industry, getting awards.. /1

your second ask and my answer are under the cut! <3

/2 And if I can be really honest with you I am afraid that this is the end. I know they said they don't want to disband and this is not it and I want to believe them, but I am so afraid that these 10 years were too much for them. That the way their fame grew rapidly and the pressure got bigger, it's just too much for them. I wouldn't blame them for trying to do other things, because while I can't fully understand what it's like to live their life, I can imagine the stalking, the harassment, cameras everywhere, watching every step they take, waiting for a scandal.. I can imagine it's very exhausting. And I wouldn't blame them, you know? I think this fear is the reason why I feel so awful sometimes about joining so late. I think about this recent comeback and the message they gave us, and then I think about all the things I have missed out that I will potentially never experience. But I want to believe them. I trust them unconditionally and I want to believe them I just don't know how to shake off this feeling. I really don't want to seem like someone who already gave up on them. I just really don't know how to deal with this situation in my head. And I'm not writing because I am waiting for an answer or solution from you. I just don't have anyone in my life who could listen to me ramble about seven men. I know you joined the fandom around when the pandemic started or in 2020, right? Do you ever feel this way?

I know how you feel anon. I understand :( I used to feel the same when I joined the fandom. There were so many things that I hadn't experienced and when i used to see people talking about some specific thing, I used to be like damn i wish i was here back then. But it gets better trust me. Because there are still numerous new things that are left to happen and will happen again in the future. Yes they went solo music wise but that just means seven comebacks for us to experience. right? and there will be concerts in the future as well. One of them is happening in october itself 🥺💖 And I get what you mean but I'll just say that we should trust bangtan on this :( That's what I'm doing. After the dinner party video released, they've repeatedly told us that things were lost in translation in that video and they're not disbanding and this is not the end. Jungkook himself said that there's still a lot that they want to do as a group. Namjoon said that he always wants to be RM of BTS. So just trust them when they say they're gonna come back 🥺🥺 I think it was very necessary for them to start their solo endeavours because it's been a long time that they have stayed as a group. But starting solo endeavours doesn't always have to mean that it's the end for the group. And yes ofcourse even I used to feel like that when I joined the fandom. But then I used to spend my free time watching their content and stuff and that feeling sort of started to fade away you know? and as more time passed i kept feeling more and more immersed into the fandom to the point that it doesn't affect me anymore. I'm like okay I wasn't here for <insert this particular thing> but I was here for a lot of other things. As time passes it will be the same for you I'm sure! so hang in there hehe. We have a long road to go 💖 (I'm sorry for taking a while to reply to this. Didn't get a lot of free time.)

[chemicalpink]

Still With You ♡ BTS Headcanon

Pairing: none

Genre: angst, SADDDDDDD

Summary: A commentary-like scenario on BTS' last VLIVE as a band, narrated by Jeon Jungkook. Alternatively, a different connotation to the song Still With You.

Word Count: 1.5k

Warnings: this is a disbandment scenario, BTS makes their last LIVE for ARMY, SAD OVERLOAD

A/N: This is part of the BCC Summer Games, the POV Challenge. Honestly, it's just 100% sadness I'm sorry, come scream at me all you want.

The light on the camera flickers a few times in a row before settling on a very dim red tone that hovers over the monitor once and for all.

dul.set.

Annyeonghaseyo Bangtan Sonyeondan imnida.

I can hear the members’ voices calling out for what is the uptenth time in our lives together. No one really knows what to say, it’s the first time we come on here without something clear inside our minds to talk into the camera. My thoughts are filled with memories of laughter, of trips around the world, of tears too. But most importantly, of the warmth inside my heart every time I heard our names being called by thousands of people every night, the love that filled me up just the right amount into living one more day in such a hectic life.

Please call my name one more time.

The echo seemed to swallow all of our voices. It’s been years since we’ve been together like this. Things have changed, some memories I’m sure have already faded, and I’m painfully reminded of the days where we were just seven kids and what had seemed like a massive unattainable dream.

Things seem to move ever so slowly around me, people have said time and time again I tend to get lost in my own little world, perhaps they were never aware that it is not my world I contemplate, but ours. I seem to disappear from the bigger picture, I feel an emptiness consume me as I just stand frozen under the camera lights. I could never understand why it was that when we were all together everything seemed to have to go as planned.

I shouldn’t get used to it. But I’m used to it again as we are once again together.

I can clearly feel a lump in my throat, trying to fake a smile, ignoring the fact that I knew exactly where I was. My mind decides to settle on the low-pitch sound of the air conditioner.

If I don’t have it, I might just fall apart.

We’ve all been told to not let ourselves get lost in the moment and I had agreed without a doubt, thinking foolishly that I could do it, because this was the only way we could ever begin to repay everything that ARMY has done for us for so many years now. I can barely see the numbers skyrocketing as the views reach a few thousands at a time, my heart aches knowing there’s ARMY out there watching this live with tears in their eyes.

We’ve laughed together, we’ve cried together and for a while these simple feelings were all that I had.

No one can bring themselves to say anything. And really, how could we?

This goes out to all the fans that have been there since that fateful 13th of June in 2013, to the ones that have been joining the family and my heart as years went by, the ones that have stayed until the end of the line, until today.

Rapmon-hyung traces his eyes to the floor, I can clearly see his hands shake at the same time as the silence surrounding us becomes a little too overwhelming to handle. How could we even begin to thank the thousands of people that made our dreams come true? How could we possibly gather enough courage to say our last goodbye, knowing there would be nothing left when the mist clears out and we’re bound to find ourselves dancing alone again?

The AC keeps humming a song without beat as my mind keeps repeating the mantra: This is over now.

I look to my right to find Hobi-hyung staring back at me, and although he’s smiling, I’ve known him for enough time to know he’s just hiding his tears the best way that he possibly could. I guess deep down, as time went by, I knew this moment would come, I can’t help but wonder if I’ll ever see ARMY again as Seokjin-hyung looks up from his spot on the floor, and I can see the way his gaze trembles uncertainty over the rest of the members and even myself as tears keep threatening to fall “So..” he tries to mask his voice breaking clearing his throat “Here we are again, where it all began”

“Yes” Jiminssi lets out a dry laugh at that, taking a theatrical look around the small place that used to be our practice room back when we began, the place a little somehow surviving the pass of the years, unlike us “Here’s where Hobi-hyung used to make us stay just a little bit longer to make sure we got the moves right on beat. So that there would be no doubt about the potential we had, even if we didn’t believe it.”

“Ahh… the times where we would fight over the bunk beds at night” Namjoon laughs too, trying to divert the sadness that I’m sure we were all feeling when we were brought back to our first moments together.

“Everything has changed” Yoonngi-hyung muttered quietly from his spot on the end of the sofa that was placed impromptu for the special ocassion.

“But still, everything’s still the same” Taehyung finishes the sentence that was left hanging.

“Well you know what, you’re right. I still have to nag you to eat properly” Seokjin jokes in a futile attempt to lighten up the mood.

“And Namjoon-hyung still doesn’t know how to hold a knife properly”

“Maybe we should stop joking around and get to the point” Namjoon-hyung suggested, bringing me back from the happy place I had diverted to, down memory lane. He had mentioned before that it was best to go straight to the point. Rip it off like a bandaid. If that was how he really thought about it, then why was he still shaking on his seat?

“This is the final wrap up”

“This has been all”

“No more bangtan bombs”

“No more festa”

“This is one last memory of us”

“This is our last thank you note”

“Because we owe you that and so much more”

“For everything. The Grammys, the awards, the many weeks on top of Billboard” Suga-hyung lists with that signature gummy smile of his even though his tone still drips with sadness.

When his voice seems to quiet down as he looks to his feet once again, Namjoon-hyung decides to take over, ever the trustworthy leader, “The laughs and the amazing moments we shared together”

“You guys made our lives a thousand times better” and I know for a fact Seokjin-hyung speaks from his heart at last, after years of keeping to himself, he finally utters the words he was once so scared to even dictate to himself.

“And you’ve been by our sides until now, until the end” Jiminssi and Tehyung are both trying to support one another as they let their words flow out, in the synchronised way that only they know how to do and the fans always seemed to love watching through the screen.

“This has been BTS”

I can still feel the hot tears pricking my eyes, and it wouldn’t be the first time my words get caught up in my throat from so many emotions all together, but at last I feel the need to remind everyone watching of our love “We will always love you ARMY” I can feel Jimin’s hand subtly placed on my arm in reassurance, as everyone’s eyes fly to myself trying to hiccup the tears away just this once“You’re the best fans we could’ve possibly asked for”

“This might be the last time you see us like this,” Hoseok-hyung says. The time is running out and we know it, I can see the comments flowing a few thousands per second, tearful emojis filling up the live chat and it only seems to sink my heart lower “But we will continue to be with you in your hearts, that’s a promise”

If I see you again

I will look into your eyes

And say, "I missed you"

“Bang bang”

“TAN” we all whispered one last time before I notice the staff taking down the lines and it makes me wonder if it would seem just as heart-wrenching as I feel at the moment, having our ARMY get one last look at our bulletproof friendship as we all get up from our places to hug each other. tightly.

If only for the next few hours we would still get to be Bangtan Sonyeondan.

[dreamescapeswriting]

BTS Reaction | You Share The Same Birthday [Request]

Seokjin:

Every year was the same, you would both want to throw each other a surprise birthday party but it would never work out that way because you had the same birthday so it was never a surprise unless it was early or really late but this year you'd decided to just not throw each other a party, pinky promising not to throw a party and just spend the day together instead.

"Jin! Mine next!" You said going over to the cupboard and bringing out the big blue box you'd wrapped up, the boys had all come around to see you both since you weren't doing anything for your birthday. You'd spent the morning with just you and Jin, having breakfast in bed, then slowly making your way down to the living room where you watched Disney movies together. Then it was time for the boys to come around but you refused to change out of your PJ's with consisted of one of Jin's shirts and some shorts from a PJ set you lost years ago.

"I thought you weren't doing gifts this year," Jimin said watching as you shot him a playful glare,

"The deal was no party, I still got him something." You giggled sitting across from Jin and watching him open it up, he unwrapped the wrapping paper and then took the folds of the box out. Balloons came flying out from inside and there was confetti inside, as well as tissue paper.

"It's not much." Inside was a photo frame of you both along with smaller gifts he'd been hinting at all year.

"Since it's almost Christmas I thought this should be small," He smiled bringing you into a hug and rubbing your back.

"Your turn!" Jimin screamed looking at Jin who glared at him as you had done when he questioned you.

"You didn't have to get me anything," He sprinted off upstairs and grabbed the present he'd been hiding and then came running back downstairs. It was in a small pink box with a bow on the top, you took it from him and slowly opened it up to reveal a locket with a photo of your both inside.

"Baby, it's gorgeous." You giggled looking at the small locket which was in the BTS logo shape with your birth stone on the front,

"It's from the new collection, not out yet but I saw it and thought it was perfect for you." He bent down to kiss you earning a fake gag to come from Jungkook who in return got the middle finger from you.

"You're an adult now Kookie," You giggled watching as he rolled his eyes at you, handing Jin his gifts and you all began exchanging gifts with each other. You giving them their Christmas presents and telling them not to open them until your fake Christmas you had every year. It had always been the same for the last four years of dating Jin.

"Happy Birthday baby." You whispered to Jin as he followed you into the kitchen, you were making coffee for everyone.

"Happy Birthday Jagiya." He whispered back to you, kissing the base of your neck and then your jawline.

"One more surprise when they're all gone." He whispered biting on your ear before disappearing into the living room to rejoin the boys to act as though nothing had happened in the kitchen.

Yoongi:

Yoongi wasn't one that liked to celebrate his birthday, he hated whenever the boys tried to surprise him because he would always know so instead of acting as though it was his birthday he would pretend it was just your day.

"Morning Birthday boy," You giggled straddling his lap that morning bending down to kiss him on the lips, his hands rested on your waist as he looked up at you.

"Hi Birthday girl," You smiled at him and looked over at the desk you had cleared off that morning,

"I made breakfast, we're going to have a chill day. No studio talk, understood?" He nodded and sat up in the bed with you,

"You made all that?" He asked looking over at the table full of food, there must have been enough to feed seven of you both,

"The others are here?" He questioned wondering why you'd made so much but you shook your head,

"We're not leaving this bedroom so I made food to last us all day." You giggled getting up from his lap and going to get you both a plate full of food, he admired you as you plated all his favourite foods onto one plate and brought it back over to him.

"We're not leaving the bedroom?" He questioned with a smirk on his lips, you giggled at where his mind had gone but you shook your head at him.

"That's later, right now I'm starving and I want to eat before I give you your presents." You told him biting down onto a pancake and moaning out at how good they taste, Yoongi's mouth fell open when he heard you and you stared at him.

"You're going to moan like that and expect me to just sit here and eat my breakfast." You swallowed the pancake that was in your mouth and he smirked at you moving the plate to the side table, bringing you closer to him with one arm and pinning your hips down with the other.

"You look so cute today," He whispered in your ear, kissing down your jawline until he got to your lips,

"Shut up, I'm another year older and I swear I have wrinkles." You grumbled trying to hide your face but he pulled your hands away and kissed you softly, you kissed him back your hands falling into his hair and tugging at the black tips smirking against his lips as he let out a low growl.

"You really want to eat first?" He questioned biting and sucking on your neck while you whimpered,

"N-No."

"Good, because I'm hungry for something else." He whispered against your skin ripping the buttons open at the front of your silk pyjamas and smirking as you let out a shriek about it.

Hoseok:

Before you started dating he would spend the day with Army but it changed when you got into a relationship, for the first four years of your relationship he would spend an hour with army and then the rest of the day with you. But now your relationship was out and people supported you, you decided to spend the day with Army again. Doing a VLive throughout the entire day, starting by waking Hoseok up in the way Army wanted and they choose blasting out the new album was the best way to do it so you took the phone with you and began jumping around and filming Hoseok's reaction.

"You're evil!" He groaned holding a pillow over his face,

"Say Hi to Army!" You screamed giving him the phone and getting into the bed beside him.

Then that was how you spent your day, setting up the camera so people could talk to you as though they were with you, opening gifts with Army and then baking a cake.

"He forgot to buy one." You said to the camera as you got the ice and fresh strawberries ready, Hoseok was making faces behind you and you stared at him in the phone screen.

"You know I can see you right?" He stopped and sat down beside you smirking at Army and answering questions while you put the icing into a bag and smirked to yourself.

"Hey Hobi, shall we start a new tradition for our birthdays?" You questioned walking over to him and trying not to look suspicious and you prayed Army wasn't going to give it away to him,

"What do you want to do?" He asked looking at his phone as he tried to find some music to decorate the cake to and you smirked squirting a bunch of the icing out on to the top of his hair and giggling as he groaned out.

"You're such a child!" He yelled scooping it off and throwing it in your direction, you let out a squeal before squirting more and throwing flour in his direction but it wasn't over, he began throwing some at you as well laughing whenever he hit you with flour or icing.

"ARMY SEND HELP!" You screamed pretending to die on the floor as he hit you with another scoop of the icing, since your eyes were closed he took advantage of it, he picked up the cake you'd been working very hard on and took the phone with him, placing the phone where army could see you. He straddled your lap and your eyes shot open,

"What are you doing?" You asked in a panicked tone when you saw the cake in his hands,

"Hobi...No...Down." You whispered but he smushed it against your face making you scream out his name and wiggle around to try and get away from him but it wasn't working.

"HOBI! ARMY! SOMEONE!" You screamed trying to move away but he pulled the remaining cake off and placed some into his mouth and nodded.

"Tastes good," You spat some out onto the floor next to you and glared at him,

"I hate you." You joked looking over at the phone and then back to Hobi.

"You love me."

Namjoon:

Since parties weren't your or Namjoon's thing you decided that it was best to do something else on your shared birthday. You weren't huge fans of going to clubs you would both rather stay home together and spend time alone than in some loud club where you could barely hear yourself think which is what happened the year before. Jimin and Jungkook dragged you both out for drinks and you ended up getting wasted and not being able to remember a thing. So this you year you both decided it was going to be different deciding to wake up early and go for a walk around the Han River before going into town and going to all your favourite book shops before heading home to your shared apartment and having a relaxing day inside together. Ordering food in because you didn't want to cook or have Namjoon, you quite liked not having food poisoning or having him hurt himself on your birthday.

"Joonie can we have pizza tonight?" You asked lifting your head from his chest, he was playing with your hair while reading to you from one of his favourite books.

"I can't see why not," He whispered not lifting his eyes from the page, he went back to reading it aloud to you. You smiled to yourself at the scene, it was something you could never have imagined happening before. You and Namjoon had been together for three years and it was the first time it was really hitting you that you were living this life with the perfect guy.

"Where's your mind?" He questioned noticing you weren't paying attention to what he was saying from the book, he closed it and watching as you turned to look up at him with a smile on your face.

"Just us, how we started dating and stuff." He chuckled at the thought, he was so awkward when he first met you and wouldn't ask you out resulting in Jin walking up to you and doing it for him.

"Do you remember how nervous you were on our first date?" You questioned looking at him and seeing him cringe at just the thought of it.

"I ended up sweating through three shirts, how could I forget." He groaned shifting you so you were sitting on his lap so he could stare up at you and admire how stunning you were to him.

"What are you thinking about?"

"How gorgeous you are." You scoffed getting off his lap and going to find the pizza menu but he rushed up behind you and grabbed your hips,

"Do I need to remind you how beautiful you are?" He whispered hungrily in your ear making you whimper,

"You already have six times today. I'm tired and sore baby." He kissed your cheek and told you what he wanted from the pizza place deciding to give you a break and then going to run himself a bath knowing you would go and join him once the pizzas were ordered and on their way.

Jimin:

"Do you know what today is baby?" Jimin asked wrapping his arms around you in the kitchen,

"Tuesday." You answered grabbing your coffee and looking at the time,

"I'm going to be late to work Jimin, tell the boys I say hi!" You yelled running out of the kitchen and out of the house.

"It's our birthday..." He said slowly going over to check the calendar that it wasn't your birthday and he wasn't being weird about dates. He frowned checking his phone and seeing messages from the boys, he found it a little odd that you'd forgotten your own birthday but he also knew how much stress you were under at work and understood that you were probably just tired.

"NAMJOON! Knife! Down now!" You yelled noticing him in the corner of your eye, you were at the dorms trying to make the place look perfect for Jimin to come around to. You felt terrible for rushing out on him that morning but it was only because you were such a terrible liar when he came to him.

"A little higher Tae." You giggled watching him struggle to hang the banner up but once it was perfect he came down and hugged you.

"Happy birthday by the way. Are you sure he has no idea?" You nodded looking over at the door, he was due around any minute and you were still in your work clothes.

"Positive, I have to change." You rushed up to Jimin's old room and got changed into a pink dress that you'd gotten weeks ago for the occasion and headed back downstairs when you heard Tae scream that he was on the driveway. You hid in the kitchen with the cake and Namjoon, as soon as the front door opened they began screaming out happy birthday to him and you walked out, being careful of where you walked.

"I knew you didn't forget your own birthday!" Jimin yelled coming over to you and blowing out the candles, Namjoon took the cake from you and Jimin bent down to pick you up swinging you around a little chuckling as you giggled in his ear.

"I didn't want to do nothing again, were you surprised?" You questioned as he put you back down on the floor,

"So surprised baby." He lied kissing your cheek and making you pout,

"Who gave it away?" Everyone fell silent and you looked around the living room to see everyone staring at Jungkook who was trying to avoid looking at you.

"Kookie! You promised." You sighed looking at him, he was staring back at you with a guilty look across his face.

"I didn't mean to, he saw me picking up the cake yesterday and I told him everything." You groaned hiding your head in Jimin's neck and thanking him for trying to act surprised when he happened and he chuckled kissing your lips.

"I'll get you one day and you will be surprised." You mumbled poking your tongue out at him and laughing as he kissed you again.

Taehyung:

Since your birthday was late in the year he was always busy with preparations for the Korean New Year Show and you were at home with family but you made sure to make time for one another. Having a skype session together on your birthday, each of you getting a cupcake each with a candle together so you could blow it out and make a wish together, always the same wish that you could spend at least one birthday together.

"Same wish?" Taehyung asked over the phone, you hummed lazily looking at your bedroom wall. He couldn't video call you yet because he wasn't back at his hotel room on time,

"I'm sorry baby." He said as he heard the hum, you didn't sound happy that it was your birthday and normally this wouldn't bother you. You got to see Tae a lot all of the time but spending one birthday together was something you wanted desperately.

"Don't be, I'm just being sappy because I'm old now." You giggled sitting up in the bed and listening to him talk about what the boys had done that day for his birthday, starting with the surprise birthday cake.

"There was one thing they did that made me the happiest guy on the planet though," You asked him what it was but your doorbell rang when you were talking,

"I better go get it, it's probably my food." You took the phone with you as you walked down the stairs opening the door to find Taehyung standing there and holding a giant stuffed animal.

"TAE?!" You screamed alerting the neighbours who were now peaking through the curtains, you jumped into Taehyung's arms making him drop the teddy bear he was carrying and you giggled kissing him repeatedly on the lips,

"When did you? How did-"

"The boys got me a ticket to come and see you." He carried you into the apartment and you began tearing up kissing him passionately as he wrapped his arms around you and pulling away,

"We don't have long, we have to get you packed and then go back to the airport."

"We?" You questioned looking at him as he dragged you up in the direction of the bedroom,

"You don't think I'd go back without my favourite girl now did you?" You giggled at him and went up to the bedroom to find your passport, suitcase and clothes. Taehyung had the weekend planned once the Korean New Year was over, you were going to sit in the hotel room and binge eat food, watching nothing but Korean Dramas and spending all your minutes together, having a birthday weekend instead of a birthday day.

Jungkook:

Usually, Jungkook would be spending his Birthday with the boys out of the country while they filmed for Bon Voyage but this year was different, he'd made plans with BigHit to postpone the filming of their show so he could spend time with you. You didn't mind him being away it was his job and you knew how much he loved his job but he wanted to surprise you. You shared a birthday and in the five years of dating, you'd always celebrated early or late, never together or on time. Which is why it was such a surprise to you when he showed up that morning and told you to pack warm clothes and you began a road trip where you didn't know the destination and he just told you it was a surprise.

"This place is insane Jungkook." You said as you walked through the log cabin, he'd taken you out to a snow cabin and you were spending a week together. Nothing but snow, fireplaces, and each other as well as activities to keep you entertained for the time you would be together.

"We have an entire week alone, no one knows where we are." He smirked kissing your lips softly and tilting your head up to look at him and you giggled.

"Snowboarding and then food?!" You asked looking out at the slopes, you'd passed them on your way up to your cabin and it was all you could think about doing it.

"We have plenty of time for that later," Jungkook said as his mind was somewhere else, he kissed down your neck making you giggle as he placed his hands on your waist pushing you over to the sofa and laying you down.

"I guess the snowboarding could wait." You whispered taking off his giant thick coat and letting it fall down on the floor beside the sofa,

"Ever wanted to do it in front of a fire like in the movies?" You giggled looking at the fireplace with a smirk on your face, it was always something you'd wanted to do and now you'd seen the smirk on Jungkook's face you knew it was on his mind do.

"Now I have." He smirked pulling you down to the floor and sitting you on his lap, his hands began exploring your body as you made out in front of the burning fireplace, all that was filling the air were sounds of kissing and the crackling firewood.

tagline: 

@yoongisdumplingcheeks @snowy-meowl @lynnthevirgo @jooniesdarlingdimples @kpopfanfictionhoes @lyoongx @callingmyangel @fan-ati--c @mitzwinchester @btsiguess-kpop @rjsmochii

[goodwriterwithbadhabits]

Flight of the Little Bird: Three Months Later.

Previous | Master List 

Its the end! I know I said I’d have this up a few hours ago, but at least I finished it, right? (I’m still so sorry about the Late At Night series, I swear I’m still working on it.)

~~

“Dad, stop being mean to the bees.” Your laugh rings out across the large garden as you watch your father try to catch the bees buzzing around his tomatoes. “They’re friends.” 

“You wouldn’t say that if they were hornets.” He counters, adjusting the straw hat he was wearing. You both grin at his words, squinting due to the southern California sun. You had missed this place, with its sprawling land, the old adobe mansion your grandfather had bought so many decades ago, and even the bees that always returned to your father’s precious garden every summer. 

“Hornets are bastards, its different.” You point out, returning your attention to the pumpkins you were weeding. “How long do you think it’ll be until these babies are ready for the market?” You wonder, gently caressing the squash in front of you. 

“Not until early October at the earliest, we could sell them for Jack-o-lanterns” He informs you, finally leaving the bees alone to check his other garden inhabitants. “These cucumbers might be ready next week though.” 

“The bell peppers too,” You stand up, pointing to the section of garden he had set aside for his varied peppers. “We should check the mushrooms as well, I could make stuffed bell peppers and-”

“Honey!” Your mother’s voice has both of you looking back towards the house, and you can tell from the way she’s fiddling with her wedding ring that something is wrong. 

“What’s wrong, mom?” You call, and she immediately waves your concerns away. 

“Its nothing sweetie, I just need to talk to your father.” You don’t believe her, but still shrug it off anyway. You share a look with your old man, who’s clearly as confused as you are, “Don’t worry, we’re almost done weeding, I’ll finish up the pumpkins and go check the shrooms.” 

“Alright, thank you.” He tips his hat dramatically to you before following his wife inside the house. Weeding takes only a few minutes, so you find yourself meandering towards the front of the house to find the mushrooms before either of your parents have made it back outside. 

You wish they had come out to stop you.

The moment you round the side of the house, you’re met with two large black vans, a sight so familiar to you that for a moment you’re excited, wondering where you’re about to be whisked off next. Then, you remember. 

It had already been three months since you had left, and the boys hadn’t contacted you once, not even Mark, which hurt most of all. You had no doubt they probably hated you, so what were these vans doing here? Were you about to be kidnapped?

“Please, just hear us out.” A familiar voice begged. 

“Not a chance. If you had wanted to talk to her you should have called first, don’t think she’ll want to see you just because you showed up at her house.” Your mother argued, voice stern, a rare occurrence. Slowly the crowd of boys were backed out of the house, though none of them had noticed you yet. 

“Mom-” 

“Mark Tuan, don’t you dare “mom” me right now. You think you can just ghost my daughter for three months and I’ll welcome you back with open arms? It’s your fault she got her heart broken in the first place. If you think I’ll just forgive you in an instant-”

“Mom.” This time, it was you who called to her, making her stop and all of them looked over to you. Seeing you must have been a shock, the last time you had all been together you wore only designer clothes, stylish pants and dresses, things that screamed money. Now, you stood before them in dirty overalls and a work out tank top you had stolen from Jackson years ago. Your hat blocked the sun from your eyes, but you knew you looked tanner than before, having spent almost every day in the sunshine. 

“Oh honey, you were supposed to stay in the garden.” Your mom sighs, clearly distressed. 

“Mom, go inside.” 

“But-”

“Mom.” You say more firmly, finally tearing your gaze away from the boys to look at her. “I’m a big girl, I can handle my own problems. Go inside please.” She doesn’t say anything, just nods and turns around to head back inside. The moment the door closes, the boys surge forward, but your step backwards has them stopping. “Why are you here? My mom was right, you don’t make a single effort to contact me, and you just show up?”

“You really think you get to be upset right now?” Jinyoung asks. 

“Yes I do.” You retort immediately. “I apologized several times. I explained I was leaving the company but you were all still free to contact me, and none of you did. So yeah, I think I’m allowed to be upset.” 

“I’m sorry.” Mark pipes up, stepping forward to stand at the front of the group. “We were shitty friends, and I’m so sorry for that, but that isn’t why we’re here.”

“Then why are you here?” 

“We want you to come back, to come home.” Youngjae finally admits, voice small. There was no humor in your laugh as it bubbled up. 

“I am home.” You manage to say, throwing out your arms to gesture to the property. “Do you even understand why I left?” 

“Y/n.” JB tries to start but you stop him. 

“I left because your beloved Aghase turned on me and Jackson the moment they found out about us. They’ve always hated me. Every time I’ve been seen by them they spew nothing but hate and that takes a toll. I can’t do that anymore.” 

“They don’t hate you.” Mark almost yells. “And who cares if they do? We’ve spent three months trying to accept what you did but you didn’t think about how we would feel.” Mark was angry, a sight you had seen a few times, but had never been towards you. “You expected us to just forget about you, to move on. I have been your best friend for over two decades!” His heart broken shout made tears immediately spring into your eyes. “I would have understood backing away from the group, or even lying to the public about your relationship, but running away? That’s not like you.” 

“You didn’t try to stop me.” 

“Because I thought I would be okay!” He was crying now, and you felt about to but you tried your best not to let it break you completely. “I thought we would all be okay and I would just be upset for a while until I could see you again, but it wasn’t just me. Everyone has been upset, everyone has been hurt and it was your selfishness that did it!” 

“I did it for you, to protect you from those assholes who called themselves your fans!”

“That’s enough! Both of you!” Jackson interjects, stepping in between you. “You are both right, and both wrong.”

“Have you not been on social media at all since you got here?” Jinyoung asks casually, earning a shake of the head from you. 

“I didn’t want to see what the company said, or you guys.” You confess, letting out a deep sigh, trying not to burst into tears. 

“The boss wasn’t having it. He threatened to sue anyone who was defaming you, or spreading malicious comments.” Jinyoung explains, looking for something on his phone. “They published a post about you leaving, about how it was the fault of so many hateful comments, and that we would be taking an extended hiatus due to, how did he phrase it?” he pauses, trying to remember the words. 

“Stress and heartbreak from losing a dear friend.” Jackson says, refusing to look at you. “None of us wanted to keep going without you.”

“I told you, we couldn’t just forget about you.” JB pipes in, taking the phone from Jinyoung to show you. 

Comment from: @/wang-gaepark-gae:

What the hell is wrong with people? Jackson and Y/n should be allowed to date without everyone throwing a fit #justicefory/n

Comment from: @/y/n_protection_squad:

Her concepts were so cool! Who cares that they were dating, y’all just took the coolest production designer away from them! This is why we can’t have nice things. #justicefory/n

Comment from: @/wouldletbam_bam:

Does this mean we’re getting the person who did girlsgirlsgirls back? Cause I’ll find Y/n myself if that’s the case.

Comment from: @/notjae6: 

Even if you didn’t like their relationship, you didn’t have to ruin everything for everyone. You probably ruined her life #justicefory/n

Comment from: @/aghasefory/n:

Is this why Youngjae looked so sad in his last Vlive? Wait what about Mark? They were besties right? #justicefory/n

“Are they all-?”

“Most of them. Our fans really like you, and they love your work more.” Jinyoung explains. “They’ve trended the Justice for Y/n hashtag for almost three months, and they’ve been releasing their fav clips of you.”

“Wait, clips of me?” 

“Yup, people saw you a lot more than you think. You are the person we were closest to besides our managers.” Mark chuckles, wiping his eyes. 

“The boss already agreed to let you come back. He says he’ll make sure any malicious comments are met with legal action.” JB interjects, giving Jinyoung his phone back. 

“Why does it matter so much?” You almost huff, refusing to look at the boys, knowing it will make you start crying. 

“Because we could have lost you. Forever, permanently.” Jackson finally spoke up. “Mark told us about high school, and about the bridge.” Your heart rate increases drastically as you think back to that day, the day you almost died. 

“We’ve been so worried this whole time.” Mark begins. “So worried I would never get to see you again.” 

“So why didn’t you call?” 

“You said you wanted to leave, and we did our best to respect that.” JB explains, stepping forward, now not only as your friend, but as Got7’s leader. “So we are here to apologize, and to ask you, beg if we have to, to come home with us.” All seven of them drop into a 90 degree bow, each one apologizing at once. You glance towards the house, where your parents are pressed to the screen of the front window, listening to the whole conversation. Both of them nod vigorously, gesturing towards the boys. A small chuckle bubbles up from your chest as the tears start spilling onto your cheeks. 

“I’m so sorry, you guys.” You squeak out, making them slowly come upright, “I thought I was going to be okay, I thought you would just forget about me, and I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have left.” Their faces erupt into grins, with Mark dashing forward to scoop you into a tight hug. The other boys join in a second later, squishing you at the center of the circle. “I really missed you guys.” You croak from where your face is squished into Jackson’s shoulder.

“We know.” Bambam grins, patting your head. 

“And now you're not allowed to leave.” You bring your head up, finally looking into Jackson’s eyes. 

“Deal.”

~~Tag List: 

@dreaming-hope25

@equesasprokishi

@rxbelprxyer

@destroyed-and-damned

[moonchildaera]

BTS 7TH ANNIVERSARY

I can’t believe it’s already been seven years. I can’t believe I watched you guys grow as both artists and human beings for seven years. That once empty spot on that stage was the chance for you guys to debut and it makes me remember of a time when you guys were constantly criticized for having such a name known as ‘The Bulletproof Boy Scouts’.

It has almost been ten years since I first watched that video of you guys walking off that bus with black clothing and dark eyeliner and so much has already changed since then. I’m thankful for everything, for all the times I got to spend my time with you guys. From your songs such as Answer: Love Yourself, A Supplementary Story, Mikrokosmos, Magic Shop, Paradise and so much more, it gave me a new way to look at life during and help me through dark times. Growing up, I only knew you guys, I only knew BTS and for a while I was afraid of what the future would hold without you guys by my side and I was afraid of forgetting you guys, especially when I started to branch out to other groups but turns out I never did. For a long time, I held onto you guys as my support, the ones who would pat me on the back and tell me everything would be okay because even after a long winter, spring is bound to come.

In some cases, I feel sorry towards the seven of you. I feel sorry because you are able to live a life of luxury and in return, you aren’t able to do simple things most of us take for granted. I’m sorry that I’m not able to be there during your darkest times and pat you on the back like you do with me or comfort you. I’m still very thankful for all of you, because through it all, you were able to make me a better version of myself. I was lost for a while because I didn’t know which path to take in life, whether it’d be this or that but you told me that it was okay because at some point we all get lost and along the way, we find ourselves because no one is complete at the beginning of the journey.

Jeon Jungkook. You were my first bias. You were the first boy I really fell for. Throughout the years, you taught me how to express and be myself. I used to cry a lot about you because behind that image that you’ve had to keep up throughout all those years, you never really got to experience what teenages my age are supposed to experience. You were my first kpop boy. The boy I laid my eyes on and fell for. From your annoyingly quirky personality and cute little bunny smiles, I fell and I don’t blame you. In my eyes, you were a kid waiting to see the world and explore it. I know that often you are depicted as the Golden Maknae but you don’t have to constantly be good at everything to know that you, yourself, are enough. From the mole on your neck to the scar on your cheek, all these imperfections are what makes you who you are and I hope you never stop being yourself. I hope that one day, you will be able to find your own time and space, without the cameras. Thank you, Jeon Jungkook.

Kim Taehyung. The weird dude with a 4D personality. That’s how I used to depict you, not in a bad way of course. You were someone who always looked so carefree and happy. The way you saw life made me curious about you. Because of you, I was able to express myself artistically and find my passion in art. You taught me that each of us had an inner child and that sometimes it was better to let it out and enjoy the little things as it is. You taught me how to see the world in a different way and forget about what everyone else thought about me. You taught me what the world ‘purple’ meant and I have since not stopped using it in random times. In this lifetime, I will continue to wander through, looking for my own beautiful story and wondering about the next parts. You could say it’ll be like a story of two ships coming together in the midst of the night, speaking to one another and exploding with an intense feeling within that moment. I want to make you mine. I purple you, Kim Taehyung. Thank you for everything.

Park Jimin. Mochi. My Serendipity. I think it was destiny when the universe brought us together. I don’t know what it was, from the soulful movements on stage or the cute eyesmiles, but I fell for you. At this point, I’m not even sure if I can call you my bias or not because of how much I switch on a day to day basis but Jimin, you hold a special place in my heart. My 4 O’clock thoughts turn into you. I was too young back then, when I would cry and think to myself about the times when I felt like I was falling, you were the light that brought a smile to my face. I still think back to those times a lot, where I would throw the world out the window and shut myself out. You were the one who intertwined your pinkie with mine and made me promise to never throw myself away.

Jung Hoseok. J-Hope. My piece of peace. “A warm smile is the universal language of kindness.” You taught me that. Thank you for always being a positive ray of sunshine that brought smiles and happiness towards everyone. Even through the tears, you never stop smiling and I know that life isn’t always a flower path to heaven but I’m thankful to have a bright energy like yours to help me through those dark days and make me smile. Your happiness is my happiness and I hope you know that one day, when I get to meet you I will give you the biggest hug in the world because you deserve it. You all do. I look back to those days when people used to take you for granted. I never understood why everyone used to mindlessly throw hate towards you but to watch you grow and become into this person that is deeply loved and admired by everyone makes me happy because they finally see you for who you are. Thank you for everything, Jung Hoseok.

Min Yoongi. Suga. Through the darkest times, your lyrics have helped me and proved to me that better days are yet to come. You proved to me something not a lot of people have proved and that no matter how lonely and sad we got, we could all smile if we were together. Through your songs from Agust D and D-2, it made me understand you more as a human being rather than an artist. You taught me that one day, I’ll fully blossom after all the hardships that I’ve gone through because one it’ll all be worth it. The brown piano that you once sang about, I hope you continue to play that piano throughout your years. Music was your form of escaping and it was for me too. Because of that song known as ‘First Love’, I grew to understand you more and when I first listened to that song, tears grew in forms of raindrops in my eyes because it was all I could do. The love you had for music, the hardships you went through for it and to finally be able to become one with your dream. I understood you and because of that, my passion for music only grew. Because of that, I strived to learn the piano. Thank you for everything, Min Yoongi.

Kim Seokjin. From that obnoxious windshield laugh of yours to your sassy attitude and dad jokes, you have never failed to make me laugh. Even just by writing that paragraph, you already made me laugh. You gave me the confidence on why I should love myself and why I shouldn’t care about what everyone else thought about me because at the end of the day, I’m still myself. Even though I don’t eat with people that muhc, you’ve taught me that food brings people together and you’ve shown me that through countless eatjin vlives. You taught me to treasure myself and that good influence becomes bigger once it’s been shared overtime. Thank you so much for all the encouraging words that brought me up during gloomy days. One day, I’ll be able to see you blow a kiss right towards me and I hope that day comes soon. Kim SeokJin, Thank you for everything.

Rap Monster, Moonie, RM, Kim Namjoon. You were once known as Rap Monster and because of that name, you were often criticized as both an artist and human being. Out of all the members, I watched you grow the most. From the words ‘I will show you’ to ‘love myself, love yourself’, you are an inspiration towards a generation of lost youths. You and BTS. Without you, BTS would’ve never happened. You helped me cope with emotions new and unknown towards me. When the ‘Love Yourself Campaign’ happened back in 2017 and you delivered your speech, I had to admit there were tears in my eyes because you yourself taught me that day that ‘true love begins with loving myself’ and to speak myself no matter where I was. Loving yourself is hard, I have to admit but little by little I learn from your lyrics and loving myself through you and the rest of BTS as well as the people around me. I know that you can’t promise me that I won’t be hurt anymore but rather live my days to the fullest, because through it all, spring will always come after a long winter. Thank you for everything Kim Namjoon.

I won’t ever forget any of you and I hope you never forget about any of us. Kim Namjoon, Kim Seokjin, Min Yoongi, Jung Hoseok, Park Jimin, Kim Taehyung, Jeon Jungkook, we won’t ever forget you. Thank you so much for giving me a second chance in life. Thank you for everything you’ve taught me and for all the things that you do for the people around you.

We are blessed to have you. I will admit that there will come a day in my life when I will grow too old for you. There will come a time when my love for you will not be as strong as this one but in my heart, each of you will hold a special place within it and through those years, I will remember your sacrifices, the blood, sweat and tears and your performance on stage as a whole. I will remember the tears that were gathered and collected as well as the times you held my hand through your music.

There will come a time when the snowflakes that fall from the skies will no longer remind me of Spring Day or the pure love of Crystal Snow. There will come a day when I will be yelling ‘Not Today’ to my kids and not blasting the song itself. There will come a time when the long sleepless nights won’t be accompanied with the soft piano and your voices in the background. A time will come when one day, I will soon live a life without you but until then, I will hold each and everyone one of you guys close to my heart and I will cherish these times with you guys, together.

There will come a time when that long winter will finally pass and spring will come. When that time comes, I will take everything you’ve taught me and share it with the rest of the world. Please never stop singing, never stop living your dream because I won’t stop chasing after mine. Eternally, you will each be known as a legend and as I listen to We Are Bulletproof: The Eternal with tears in my eyes, I would like to thank you all once more for everything you’ve done for us. Together we can walk a path towards happiness.

Shine.

Dream.

Smile.

Together, we are bulletproof. Until then, BTS. I purple you.

[therainroguefanfiction]

⁂ Hero (NCT Dreamies)

Genre: Comedy, Fluff, Friendship ☁

Word Count: 2,041 ☁

Pairing: Reader, Dreamies ☁

World: NCT Dream ☁

━━━━━━༻🌧️༺━━━━━━

You’ve been working for SM Entertainment for the past five years and you absolutely hated it. Having friends that worked at other companies made you realize early on that SM was a horrible company to work for. All they cared about was money. They treated their employees like trash and, in turn, the employees treated the idols like trash.

The foreign idols had it the hardest, in your opinion. Although it wasn’t technically a rule that the members had to speak Korean when they were doing shows or vlives, the managers were never happy when they didn’t.

To you, it seemed like the more money SM earned, the more they stopped caring that the idols were human beings, not machines. You were one hundred percent ready to leave the company and go work for a better company, like JYP. But you weren’t a quitter and you kept telling yourself to give it some more time, which eventually turned into years of time.

Finally, you set a time limit for yourself. You would stay with the company for one more month and if nothing changed, you would finally move on.

The next day, you were assigned to help manage one of NCT’s sub-units. They were called Dream and it was a group of seven boys all under the age of eighteen. You had already met the oldest member of the group, Mark, as he had debuted in a different unit. To your understanding, he was meant to debut in every single unit, which was just insane to you.

SM fully intended to work that child like a dog until he broke in half and it made you sick to your stomach. It was then that you came to the realization – this was your sign not to quit your job.

That night, you met up with your best friend, Seunghoon, who managed the group Got7. With everything on your mind, you ended up having a bit too much to drink, but it helped you make up your mind on what you needed to do.

“I’ll become a hero and protect the Dreamies from the evil of this world!”

“Ma’am, please don’t stand on the table, you’re disturbing the other customers…”

“Ah, I’m so sorr – ” Your apology died when you lost your balance and collided face first with the ground.

Seunghoon had to apologize to the owners before carrying your drunk ass away.

━━━━━━༻🌧️༺━━━━━━

Despite the hangover and the painful throbbing of your nose, you went to work the next morning filled with determination.

The Dreamies’ parents put their faith in the company to watch over and protect their children and you’d be damned if you let that faith go to waste!

Maya, the current assistant manager, brought you over to where the boys were getting their hair and makeup done for their MV shooting. “Boys, this is Y/N. She’ll be taking over for me when I move on to NCT U. Be on your best behavior for her, okay?”

They chorused their agreement before taking turns hugging her, seeming sad that she was leaving them. You realized that you had big shoes to fill.

She smiled brightly at you, “Don’t worry! I leave them in your capable hands.”

Swallowing down your nerves, you watched as she walked away. Kids had never been your strong suit in life and standing in front of seven teenagers made you feel older than you actually were. You cleared your throat, trying to sound as confident as possible. “Hello! My name is Y/N and I’ll be taking care of you from now on. Let’s get along!”

You were pleasantly surprised when they smiled and greeted you politely. You listened carefully as they introduced themselves, finding yourself smiling at how adorable and innocent they are. Suddenly, the years of SM hell seemed worth it.

━━━━━━༻🌧️༺━━━━━━

“Noona~” Chenle pouted, resting his head on your shoulder. “Can we go get ice cream after our interview?”

“Of course~!” You patted his head when he hugged you as thanks.

“There’s a new game that just came out,” Jisung scratched his cheek, shyly. “Can we… maybe go check it out?”

“We can stop by on the way to the ice cream shop. I’ll buy you a copy.”

“Really? Thank you so much, noona!”

Haechan waddled over cutely, showing you a finger heart to win you over. “Noona~ Can I get the new Air Jordans that just came out? They’d look amazing in our new music video!”

“Go ahead and order them.”

“Yes!”

Jaemin shook his head as he sat on the couch beside you. “Don’t you think you’re spoiling them too much, noona?”

“Nope,” you grinned, happily. “I ordered you some new headphones, by the way. They should arrive tomorrow!”

“How did you – ” he followed your gaze to Haechan and sighed, “Should’ve known.” He then offered you a thankful smile. “I appreciate it, thank you.”

“You’re welcome, Nana.” You ruffled his hair, feeling your heart flutter with happiness. Since you had been an only child growing up, working for Dream was like having a bunch of adorable baby brothers to spoil and make happy.

“You’re late!”

Hearing the manager yell, you looked up. He was pretty angry, that obnoxious vein popping out on his forehead. In front of him stood Mark, breathing heavy as he bowed his head in apology. He was upset, but not because he was being scolded – it was because he had taken so long to arrive. Rather than resting after his schedule with NCT U, he had rushed over to practice with Dream, only to get screamed at for his efforts.

You stood up and approached them, resting your arm around the boy’s shoulders. As much as you wanted to scream and insult the man, you had to keep your job if you wanted to protect the boys. Clearing your throat, you put on your best fake smile. “With all due respect, sir, perhaps we should let Mark rest instead of scolding him. He’s working very hard!”

“Not hard enough!” He bit back, turning his glare to you. “And you have no say in this. You work for me, so your opinions mean nothing. Don’t forget your place, Y/N.”

Your grip tightened as anger coursed through you, making Mark look up at you with concern. Even so, your smile never faltered. “Of course, sir. My apologies!”

When the manager walked away, Mark turned to you with a grateful smile, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “Thank you for standing up for me, but… I don’t want you to get into trouble.”

‘This kid can’t be real’, you rested your hands on his shoulders and your smile turned genuine. “I’m an adult, dear, you don’t have to worry about me. As your noona, it’s my job to protect you. You work harder than anyone I know and I’m very proud of you, Mark.”

This time the smile did reach his eyes.

━━━━━━༻🌧️༺━━━━━━

You threw yourself onto the wooden chair angrily, eyes burning with determination. Seunghoon looked over at you with a raised brow.

“Sometimes, in order to beat the evil you’re facing, you must become evil itself.”

“Did you grab a drink on your way here?”

You slammed your hand on the table. “Miss, one mug of beer, please!”

“Coming right up!”

By this point, he had become convinced that SM had stripped you of the small bit of sanity you had left. How bad were things there that you were talking about heroes and evil? “Whatever you’re planning, I don’t want to know. Just… don’t get arrested, I don’t have the money to bail you out.” You gave him an enthusiastic thumbs up and he sighed. “I’m going to the bathroom.” He headed to the back, internally questioning why he was friends with you. It was bad enough that he had to deal with Got7’s crazy antics, but he also had to deal with yours. Seunghoon definitely was not getting paid enough for this.

Deciding to use this time to put your plan into action, you pulled out your phone and called up your old compadre, Lucile.

– “Hello?”

“Luci! I need a favor.”

– He scoffed, “It’s been three years and I don’t even get a ‘hi’?”

“Hi, Lucile! Long time no speak! How ya been, buddy? Good? Great! I need a favor.”

– He sighed deeply, “What can I do for you, noona?”

“Glad you asked! I need you to find some dirt on someone.”

– “Oh? Are you reverting to your old self?”

“Only a little bit… but it’s for the greater good this time!”

– He hummed, “Name?”

“Chul Kim,”

– “Consider it done.”

“As payment, you can come over and spend time with Mittens~”

– “…”

“…you already do, don’t you?! You broke into my apartment, you little shit?!”

– “Gotta get to work, bye noona~”

“Oi, don’t you dare – ” click. “Son of a – ”

Seunghoon slowly sat back down, trying to ignore the last bit of the conversation, but it worried him. Despite himself, he questioned, “Should I be worried about someone breaking into your apartment?”

“Yes,” you answered, confidently. “The evil is strong, Seunghoonie.”

He sighed once again, convinced that you were, in fact, insane.

━━━━━━༻🌧️༺━━━━━━

You were sitting in the waiting room with the Dreamies, impatiently checking your phone. Lucile was taking his sweet time to deliver the dirt you requested and you were starting to feel anxious. Although you did your best to hide it, intuitive little Jaemin noticed.

He took the seat next to you, playing on his phone. “What’s wrong, noona?”

“Nothing! Everything is perfectly fine~”

He deadpanned, knowing that you were lying. “Noona…”

You changed the subject, “Let me ask you something, Nana. You have to answer honestly, okay?”

Jaemin nodded, putting his phone into his pocket as he turned to give you his full attention.

“Do you like your manager?”

His body tensed at the question and he immediately looked away, glancing at Mark. “He… does his best.”

You hummed at his answer, getting all of the information you needed.

The door swung open and Mark rushed inside, breathing heavily. Their manager glared at him, ordering him to hurry up and change. You felt your anxiety growing as you scowled at your phone, ‘Luci, so help me, if you don’t hurry up you’re never gonna see Mittens!’

As if hearing your thoughts, your phone vibrated as Lucile sent various pictures and snippets of information. You quickly scrolled through it, feeling your lips tug up. This was absolutely perfect!

When the Dreamies went on stage, you approached the manager, tapping his shoulder. He glared at you, demanding to know why you were bothering him. You smiled brightly, showing him one of the pictures. His eyes widened and he grabbed you, his voice harsh and low.

“Where the hell did you get that?!”

“I have my sources~”

“What do you want?”, he growled.

“From now on, I’m in charge. If you even think about being rude to those boys, I’ll make sure every media outlet sees these pictures. You’ll be ruined – no one will ever give you a chance!” You grinned, feeling satisfied as he grew angrier. “The Dreamies deserve the world, and you’re going to give it to them. From now on, you – ” you pointed your index finger at his face. “ – will be their slave!”

“That’s ridiculous! I would never stoop so low.”

“Okay, then~” You pulled up your e-mail, getting ready to send the pictures.

“No, wait! Stop!” He grabbed your wrist, looking desperate. “Fine, fine!”

━━━━━━༻🌧️༺━━━━━━

The next few weeks were wonderful. Their manager was treating them like kings and he stopped scolding Mark, instead praising him for working so hard. Everyone noticed the change, but only Jaemin realized that you had something to do with it.

You sat off to the side, watching the manager bringing bottles of water to the boys after they finished practice. You felt proud of yourself and you were even tempted to return to your old ways because of how amazing it felt.

The couch dipped as Jaemin settled in beside you, leaning his head on your shoulder.

“You did a good job, Nana.” You pulled him into a hug, patting his head.

“Thank you, noona… for everything.”

You tilted your head to the side and he smiled brightly.

“You’re our hero~”

━━━━━━༻🌧️༺━━━━━━

📜 Read more by checking out my masterlist 📜

[bangtannebula]

How BTS Turned My Life Around

TRIGGER WARNING: Talks about mental illness and self-harm. Proceed with caution.

Nowadays, all you could probably hear coming out from my mouth is “BTS” in a way that some would call an obsession for these seven boys who were practically nobodies to me two years ago.

BTS may seem like just another average K-pop boy group to anyone who sees them at first sight and even my friends have told me that their genre is very out of my character to listen to. Even I surprised myself when I started to like BTS - I was never really a big fan of K-pop after all.

But it isn’t just the catchy lyrics and sounds they produce or their devastatingly handsome faces that caught my attention. Instead, it’s something deeper and heavier - something that is hard to comprehend at surface-level. In fact, BTS turned my life around.

How I Discovered BTS

At 17 years old, five days right before my 18th birthday, I was diagnosed with Bipolar II Disorder. Months before the diagnosis, I was already in a spiral of depression - locking myself up in my room, skipping all my classes, feeling almost nothing. It didn’t feel like how most media portrayals of mental illness is - it wasn’t aesthetic at all. It sucked big time for me and I wanted it all to end and repeatedly, I tried to make it end.

Being diagnosed was one of the worst, yet also one of the best things that happened to me. I hated that the word “bipolar” can now be linked to who I was and I hate how it made my parents and my siblings worry a lot. I hate how everyone worried about me and tiptoed around me as if I was a bomb about to explode, anytime. It drove me mad how different everything was. But at the same time, I was glad I finally had an answer. I was glad that I wasn’t making it all up and that there was an actual scientific explanation as to why I am the way I am.

It wasn’t easy, though. Medicine that cost a lot of money, frequent trips to the doctor, having to remind myself that I wasn’t exactly who I was before and accepting the fact that no matter how many pills I take, being Bipolar was something I might never be able to get rid of.

Despite all of the meds I was taking however, I didn’t get as well as I wanted to be. I lost my energy and passion for doing anything and I stopped feeling good about who I was. I lost interest in the things I used to love and I doubted all my decisions. I hated myself and thought I deserved to be punished. “I deserve to disappear” is what I would always think and I would eventually resort to hurting myself in several ways - cutting, starving myself, smoking, drinking until I blacked out. I would do anything to make myself feel the pain I thought I deserved to feel.

It wasn’t until the last month that year. I had to fly over to another city, where my sister was living, for personal affairs and that’s when my life took a huge turn. My sister, who was living with my aunt, cousin and bedridden grandmother, worked and so did said cousin. It was only my aunt, bedridden grandmother and caretaker who I would be with during the daytime. My aunt would be busy during the daytime and I was bored out of my mind stuck in the house, not wanting to go out either. My sister noticing my boredom suggested that I watch one of BTS’ variety shows, Run! BTS on this app called Vlive in which K-stars would use to broadcast and such.

Around this time, I was already aware of who BTS was. Their name was growing bigger and bigger in the music industry and I’ve seen them at the Billboard Music Awards earlier that year where they made history for not only being the first K-pop group to be nominated, but also for breaking Justin Bieber’s winning streak. Not only that, I had a ton of friends who are fans and my second cousin has been trying to get me into them for a while.

Not thinking much of it, I decided to finally give these boys a chance. After finally being able to watch a few episodes of their variety show, I finally had an opinion on them - funny, amusing and handsome. It was the first time I’ve laughed that hard in the longest time.

How BTS Changed My Life

It didn’t take long for me to get into their songs. When I listen to music, I would usually listen to the lyrics first and it being the first time I got into a K-pop group as an adult, it took me a bit of getting used to having to look for an accurate English translation of what these boys were singing.

Their lyrics were far from the usual boy band songs. The various messages and stories behind each song was unique and many of them involved topics that a lot of people don’t talk about.

One of my personal favorites at that time, "Spring Day", could be interpreted in many ways. My favorite interpretation was about missing someone you used to know so well, and at that time, it felt like the song talked about how much I lost myself.

That's only one of the many meaningful songs they have. My current favorite entitled "Magic Shop" is a song of hope and how they will always be there for the people they love and care about - including their fans. Magic Shop isn't your usual hopeful song that tells you it's gonna be okay. Instead, it tells you that it's okay to feel pain and to suffer and how they will be there for you until you feel better. It's also a song that thanks their fans for being there for them.

They also have their theme of loving yourself explored in a series of albums, Love Yourself: Her, Love Yourself: Tear and Love Yourself: Answer. In several songs, they would talk about loving who you are in the best way and always being treating yourself better.

BTS also gave me a new family in their fandom that is called ARMY. I have met new people with different backgrounds and struggles, all of whom have their own personal and emotional connection to these boys. People would assume that the fandom would consist mostly of teenage girls, but they are incorrect. The diversity in this fandom is fascinating - from teenagers to parents to elders, we all shared the same love and passion for BTS.

How BTS Changes Lives of Other People

BTS has also partnered up with UNICEF to start a campaign against violence and have raised over a million dollars for this campaign.

Last September 24, 2018, BTS became the first K-pop group to ever speak at the United Nations. Going along with their “Love Yourself” campaign, their speech prompted the theme of “Speak Yourself” (which is currently the concept of their world tour), which encourages the youth to speak up about themselves.

This encouraged ARMYs from all over the world to tell their story. I am yet to see a fan who does not have some sort of struggle in which BTS has helped them with. It is not only my life that they have turned around, but it is millions of people whose lives have changed with their message and their music.

The Impact of BTS

BTS are the voices we need to hear in this world. In the middle of chaos, it is refreshing to hear music that will give you hope.

I love music, but it's been awhile since I've heard songs with these messages and been a part of this type of fandom. I might be nobody to them, but the lyrics in their songs is just what I needed to hear. For the longest time, I have always felt alone and misunderstood. I have felt hopeless and never have I ever been truly happy, but with BTS, I finally felt a spark of hope. For the first time in the longest time, they gave me a reason to keep fighting and to finally be a little kinder to myself. For the longest time, I’m not alone. I’m not completely cured, but BTS made me feel better in a way.

BTS will not be around forever, and although that may seem like a harsh reality, we must never forget about the impact they gave to millions of lives.

Thank you, BTS for the change you have brought to our lives. Here’s to 6 years and more!

[thepsykoshipper]

85 Questions Game

rules: answer these 85 statements and tag twenty people

Lol i did this a while ago but most of my stuff has changed so I’m doing it again

the last

drink: water

phone call: my boss

text message: “나는 아이 아니다” lol im learning korean

song you listened to: Dope by BTS

time you cried: hmmm like three weeks ago? while watching inside out

dated someone twice: nope

kissed someone and regretted it: nah i liked who ive kissed

been cheated on: never

lost someone special: about a year ago

been depressed:Today. this holiday has been really rough

gotten drunk and thrown up:never thrown up when drinking

three favourite colours

pastel pink

navy blue

lime green

in the last year have you

made new friends: yeah and they are kinda the best

fallen out of love: mmm probably not

laughed until you cried: yes!

found out someone was talking about you: lol yeah and it destroyed a relationship

met someone who changed you: yes and we’re now good friends

found out who your friends are: oh yes. seems to happen ever year

kissed someone on your facebook list:yeah lol

general

how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life? pretty much all of them. I don’t friend people unless I know them

do you have any pets? not anymore. my dog died a few months ago

do you want to change your name?eh its alright

what did you do for your last birthday? GOT A TATTOO BITCH

what time did you wake up? 9:30am

what were you doing at midnight last night? lol watching neverending compilations of BTS being funny and adorable and perfect

name something you can’t wait for: me to permanently move into my own place

when was the last time you saw your mum: two seconds ago

what are you listening to right now? a fucking SuperMega “Best of” Compilation

have you ever talked to a person named tom? my grandpa and cousins names are tom

something that is getting on your nerves: my parents trying to give me unsolicited advice

most visited website: youtube

hair colour: half blonde, half pink

long or short hair: shortish

do you have a crush on someone? oh hell yeah any given week

what do you like about yourself? im hilarious and have pretty eyes

piercings: in my ears

blood type: no idea

nickname: Bay, Queen Bay (my gaming boys call me Psyko Skipper)

relationship status: currently dating seven “hot as fuck” korean boys

zodiac:sagittarius

pronouns: she/her

favourite tv show(s): avatar the last airbender, fate stay night: unlimited blade works, OTGW, psycho-pass, voltron, fullmetal alchemist, star vs the forces of evil

tattoos: minimalist avengers symbols on my bicep

right or left handed: right

surgery: got my wisdom teeth out and cried like a little bitch

sport: what haven’t i done? basketball, track and field, soccer, football, rugby, swimming, tennis

vacation: lounged around my apartment when none of my roommates were there and it felt like a vacation

pair of trainers:sweet nike elites from high school

more general

eating: popcorn

drinking: water

i’m about to: watch some BTS on VLIVE

waiting for: CHRIMUS

want: to be able to pay for college

get married: i want to so bad

career: ima take this art degree and go be a concept artisit

which is better?

hugs or kisses: kisses

lips or eyes: eyes

shorter or taller: taller, im tall so i need me a tall boi

older or younger: older like up to ten years older

nice arms or nice stomach: gotta have those biceps

hookup or relationship: relationship, im in it for life

troublemaker or hesitant: hesitant im logical as fuk

have you ever

kissed a stranger: too socially awkward

drank hard liquor: yes and it tasted like nail polish remover

lose glasses/contact lenses: thankfully no

turned someone down: HAHA THERE WAS ONE TIME IN HIGH SCHOOL lol almost never tho

sex on the first date: im a sweet innocent gril so no

had your heart broken: yep

been arrested: no

cried when someone died: of course

fallen for a friend: i only ever fall for friends

do you believe in

yourself: unreasonably so

miracles: hell yeah

love at first sight: yes more than i should

santa claus: no

kiss on the first date: why not

angels: yes

other

eye colour: brown

favourite movie: book of life or the live action beauty and the beast

Tagging: ANYONE. TREAT YOURSELF THIS CHRISTMAS