#i looooooove being a teenage girl

[confession-session]

its time to play a game i'd like to call

Am I A Horrible Person Who Suddenly Hates My Friends

OR

Am I Recovering From A Bitchy Cold And PMSing

[mtdbler]

Limboverse

hello tumblr!

we've mentioned limboverse in our posts before, but we've never really explained what it is. so, here's an in-depth history and explanation of this roleplay/au!

long post incoming...

(let me set the scene. it's october, 2022.)

limboverse started as a ride the cyclone roleplay, (that I MADE (in a caffeine induced energy burst) -🌺) which takes place several years after the canon plot (the choir is roughly 20-21). we added fankids from alternate universes into it, as well-- savannah and donnie (spacedolls), amelie (nischa), and river (blackrose)

...everything started going downhill when dhar mann was introduced (11-10-22). it started off as a joke but soon enough, he was integral to the lore (being presumably a god and ricky's lover.) after dhar mann, we started adding other musical characters. spring awakening and falsettos were the first non-rtc characters.

for the next week or so it was extremely chaotic, with real people being brought in as jokes, leading to the creation of the "normal roleplay" channel. (the retired roleplay channel is still used for shitposting.) it was around here that non-musical characters were introduced in a serious manner.

as more characters were brought in, the setting was brought into question. it was impossible for all of these different universes to intersect naturally, so we made it fit. enter: limbo. (first mentioned: 11-14-22. began being used for worldbuilding around 12-09-22.)

and now for the actual explanation of what limbo is and how it applies to the roleplay!

-limbo is a ghost town with no way out. people (the characters) wake up in the surrounding forest and wander in. there are 3 main streets that have houses and a row of shops.

-it regenerates food and resources weekly. despite this, there is only one working fridge. the Limbo Fridge is located at the town center and is used as a landmark. there is an 82-year-old package of edamame in the fridge that has bad side effects when eaten-- also, it respawns/grows when removed. the victims of the edamame claim to have a psychic connection to it post-food poisoning.

-the actual roleplay portion of it takes place within the "limbo neighborhood watch" group chat. everyone who wakes up in limbo automatically has a phone with this installed. dms also exist for characters who came from the same universe-- groundhog day dms, falsettos dms, omori dms, etc.

-buildings within limbo: the store, mendel's psychiatrist's office/dispensary, the cafe, the marriage hall, and the pharmacy

-there is a giant groundhog.

and now, for the most used/iconic characters of limbo!

-MENDEL WEISENBACHFELD (falsettos). i guess you could say he's the antagonist of limbo? he's violently homophobic due to being a repressed bisexual. played by buddy.

-PHIL CONNORS (groundhog day). he is in constant anguish. married to rita. played by mart.

-RITA HANSON (groundhog day). also in constant anguish but more organised about it. played by theora.

-KEVIN PRICE (the book of mormon). got bullied and now he's not an asshole anymore. works at the cafe as a barista. his only friends are rita and 2 teenage girls. played by me (annie)!

-MARVIN (falsettos). hes a little hater. he's also in looooooove. played by sunny.

-WHIZZER (falsettos). sarcastic ass. he has a talking cat named colonel pumpkin. played by me, pt 2.

-ALL OF THE RTC CHARACTERS AND FANKIDS (will be expanded on later).

-OMORI KIDS (omori). sunny, basil, and kel. they are always up to some shit. played by annie, basil, and yuri.

that basically sums up limbo as it stands now! now, i'll leave you with our limbo documents!

limbo map (made by yuri)

limbo pride parade (made by buddy)

[anadorablack]

Share ten different favorite characters from ten different pieces of media in no particular order, then send this to 10 people (anon or not, your choice) 🎥🎬📺

[Let's go crazy over this 😘]

Jesus, @redfurrycat, do you want to murder me??? Choosing only TEN characters is like choosing between my children!!! :O (And significant others, but you get my meaning)

Alright, let's try... Sorry in advance to all those I forget... :/

Loki (Marvel Cinematic Universe)

I think I can say with utter honesty that Loki was the first (of many) antihero(es) I fell in love with. The complexity of this man (God, sorry darling), his backstory, the tragedy of it, while remaining true to himself and to those he deems worthy of his trust and love... It's all...*chef's kiss*. And YES, I'm talking about MCU Loki because I love him most, but I also adore Comic!Loki and NorseMythology!Loki. ;)

2. Nymphadora Tonks (Wizarding World)

I could have chosen her husband (MY husband) Remus because I LOOOOOOOVE him with all my heart, but I chose Tonks instead. You've got to understand. When the fifth book came out, I was a teenager, I was awkward, different. I dyed my hair, I was clumsy, too clever for my own good, and I was a bit of a loner. All that made me feel miserable, because why couldn't I just be like everyone else? Then, in came Tonks. Who was clumsy, different, with bubblegum-coloured hair, loyal to a fault. And who was an AUROR. A BADASS WITCH. And suddenly, it became okay to be all those things. And fuck being like everyone else. <3

3. Derek Hale (Teen Wolf)

I never watched the show. Ever. But reading extensively about Derek's character and backstory made it impossible not to love him whole-heartedly. That Sourwolf deserves the WORLD. <3

4. Eowyn of Rohan (Lord of the Rings)

I fell head over heels for her in the movies first, then when I read her for the first time, it was game over. Tolkien may have been parcimonious with his women characters, but Eowyn entirely surpasses any other male character in my opinion (sorry Aragorn, Faramir and Pippin, you know I love you too). She's far from the damsel in distress people would make her to be, and she's badass without being less feminine for it. <3

5. Nick 'Goose' Bradshaw (Top Gun)

Do I have to explain myself, when I've got a goose tattoed on my arm in his honour? My Polaroid-taking piano-playing moustache-wearing love. <3

6. Katsumoto Moritso (The Last Samurai)

Have I mentioned how much I love that movie, yet? :P Alright, it's my favourite movie ever: whenever I need a good cry, I just watch Katsu do his thing and I'm done for the count. Ken Watanabe giving him life after battling leukemia is even more touching, don't mind me, I'm tearing up over here.

7. Daniel Jackson (Stargate SG-1)

The first Nerd of my life. <3

8. Wednesday Addams (The Addams Family)

Before the show took everything by storm, my Wednesday spent her days looking like a psychopath and trying to kill her brother while finding out if her uncle was her uncle or not. And when I was a little girl, all I wanted, was to be like Wednesday. XD

9. The Doctor (Doctor Who)

I may be repeating myself, but I properly learnt English while watching DW. I stumbled upon Blink one night (Weeping Angels, still the creepiest villains EVER) and got hooked, even though at the time I didn't understand half of what was being said. Christopher Eccleston and David Tennant taught me English, Matt Smith made me fall more and more in love with the show, and Peter Capaldi became MY Doctor (I love grumpy assholes, as seen above). Then, Jodie became the first female Doctor, and she wasn't weaker, she wasn't more mellow, she was the same ruthless, awkward, loving but questionable alien I'd gotten to love. AND THANK CHIBNALL FOR THAT!

10. Benji Dunn (Mission: Impossible)

I couldn't not talk about MY spy movies. The ones that are so much better than any James Bond ever made, the ones that keep me on the edge of my seat and make me fall harder and harder for its characters every instalment. And Benji is by far my favourite (Simon Pegg isn't stranger to this), and if ANYTHING HAPPENS TO HIM IN MI7 TOM CRUISE GETS IT!!!

I might not tag many people, but if you want to do it, do it. ;)

[ariandrine]

Polin WIP

I wanted mostly inexperienced Polin that end up in an arrangement of sorts to show each other the ropes. The sex ropes. Not literal ropes. But maybe later. So I started writing it. It'll have smut (of course), squishyness, some big gestures, no slimmed down Penelope, commentary on sex and sexuality, societal expectations, how weird all this genital stuff can be and most of all it will have looooooove. Love and smut and comedy and smut. Let's face it.

I am not posting until I am completely finished and have edited it all, but I wanted to put a small teaser here in case anyone is interested. Hope you enjoy this more than Colin enjoys whatever he is doing down there...

////////

Though they didn’t know it at the time, Penelope Featherington and Colin Bridgerton lost their virginities on the same night, at the same time, with just one floor separating them from each other. They wouldn’t find out until months later, but their emotions and thoughts on the night in question were very much aligned:

Am I doing this wrong? This should feel better, right?

On the night of his younger sister Eloise’s graduation party the third Bridgerton son, 21 and just back from his study abroad program in Singapore, found himself in his old bedroom at Number Five, feeling oddly disconnected from what was happening around him. What was happening was that he was having sex with one of his sister’s classmates.

Juliet was nice, pretty, eager, and had a softness to her body that he had always appreciated in women. Or at least he thought he did. That was the problem really, he had never been able to figure out quite what he was attracted to in another person. That only served to heighten any awkwardness that naturally came with developing sexuality and was unquestionably why he had still found himself a virgin as of about 15 minutes ago. But it didn’t explain why he was in this situation now, being straddled – Ridden? Was that what his older brothers would call it? – by this perfectly lovely young woman, while he felt like he might as well have been doing anything else. His body and brain seemingly in two completely different places.

The driving force behind this, his first time having sex, was exactly the same as the one behind his first kiss: He had felt like he just needed to get it over with rather than spending another year feeling inadequate and like maybe he was missing out after all.

He had some previous experience, of course. Listening to his older brothers and friends boast about their various exploits for the better part of the last decade had been enough to make Colin seek experiences, even when he wasn’t even remotely interested in sex most of the time. He had made out with his fair share of girls during his teenage years and some guys at university, almost frantically trying to awaken the sexual appetite a healthy young man his age was supposed to have. Up until tonight the furthest he had gone with anyone were hand jobs and fingering and on the few occasions when someone else had made him come it had been… fine. At first. A hollow feeling in his chest and a guilty conscience soon followed. He just knew that he never enjoyed these encounters as much as he should and certainly not as much as the other person often seemed to. He didn’t even want to think about the occasions when someone else had tried to make him come and his own mind had tripped him up so hard he was left having to mumble hasty excuses before the other person took what was and wasn’t happening as a personal slight. And it wasn’t. It was clearly his shortcoming, not theirs. But now definitely wasn’t the time to dwell on that. He was already feeling awkward enough, all arms and legs, erection barely holding up while the blonde girl on top of him moved her hips in what seemed to be a well-rehearsed manner that surely should make him feel something more than… this. He wished he was still naïve enough to blame the condom completely for the dull sensation of it all.

At least he was quite confident in his ability to make someone else come using his hands and that was what he found himself resorting to now. When Juliet had approached him earlier, she had made it clear that she was looking for some fun before going off to spend her gap year somewhere in South America. Honestly, he would rather have talked to her about that all night��

Anyway. Just because he wasn’t getting anywhere didn’t mean she shouldn’t. This was usually how any even remotely sexual encounter went for him: He wanted to make sure at least the other person felt something.

Before his mind could revisit each of these awkward encounters over the last five-ish years, the index and middle fingers of his right hand slid between Juliet’s legs where she was spread open over him, and began massaging her. Gentle at first, then firmer once her body started giving him the right cues. His eyes didn't leave her face the entire time, hoping to at least feel something, get something more from this whole experience than just the knowledge of having used someone nice and genuine simply to "get this over with".

////////

Bit of a longer teaser than initially planned but didn't want to leave anybody (else) hanging (sorry, Colin).

Please keep in mind that this is a work of fiction and I am not going to label Colin's (or Penelope's) sexuality or try to "diagnose" them with anything. I am purely drawing from personal experience and things I have heard from others. In the end, however you feel about having sex (or not having it) is valid. I do love a good romance where orgasms seemingly fall from the sky at every touch and everyone is snake/snatch charmer etc, but I also think it's nice to see a story where things are a bit more realistic and awkward.

Next time I see you it will be with a finished and edited fic!

[a-windsor]

In "Jingle Bells" Talia says that Soraya could likely replace Damien as second in line to being Demon's Head since Ra's holds her in such favor. But it seems like Nyssa would rather her youngest not hold that position when that day finally comes. When Nyssa eventually takes over the mantle of Ra's al Ghul do you think she's going to keep Soraya as Heir (if the current Ra's does replace Damien) or revert Damien to Heir?

Oh I looooooove this question.

Yes! Let's talk succession!

First, I think there is a very clear and obvious al Ghul child who would make an amazing Ra's al Ghul and it isn't Damian or Soraya. More on that later.

Soraya is Ra's's favorite, yes, but she is saved from ever formally jumping her brother to be primary Heir by the fact that she's also the youngest, and she's barely out of her teens when Ra's dies.

There is an important piece, too, that Ra's can name the line of succession, but Nyssa will succeed him, and she will ultimately name her own Heir.

The kids all sort of hate the idea of having one of them raised above the other two and when the girls are teenagers, Azra convinces Ra's al Ghul that having one of them as Heir is not as good as having three of them equally trained in all aspects, commanding equal respect, in case anything happens to one of them. It will prevent in-fighting. There are all of three legged stools analogies and Blood/Brain/Brawn commentary.

So they are officially Heirs to the Demon.

Nyssa actually hates this - she thinks it will create competition and even violence between her kids. But when her father finally dies, she honors his wish and makes them all Heirs. For now.

There is another wrinkle here. Unlike Ra's al Ghul, Nyssa and Sara refuse to drink from the Pit. The children follow their lead, especially since they are young and still developing. (Yes, canonically, Sarookh is the only Lance-al Ghul to partake of the Pit.)

So by the time Nyssa accedes to the throne, she knows she has a relatively short reign ahead of her with only one goal in the mind: Secure the future for her children and see one of them as Demon's Head.

The question of course, is which one?

Damian has the bloodline, and the expectation of being Heir much longer than either of his sisters. He's smart and a good fighter and a good leader, all around.

Soraya is a True Believer and exceptionally, exceptionally good at killing. She's a good soldier, a good leader, and she certainly has the clear-eyed vision of a Ra's al Ghul.

Azra is fucking brilliant. I mean, fucking brilliant. Strategic, political, seven steps ahead of everyone on everything. And lethal in a fight. But she's less charming and involved with the day to day assassins than her siblings

Each could bend the knee to the others (despite Nyssa's fears), but Nyssa is firm that there eventually be only one.

How we get to the one I'll reserve for a spoiler for now, but it's Azra. The ultimate choice is Azra.

[louiseleblancdiggory]

Rowaelin massive fluff

As I said yesterday, I was writing a massive Rowaelin post filled with small fluffy scenes of them. Most are very domestic, and all are very lovely. My friend said it was better if I didn’t add smut to this, but I might write it if anyone has interest. Well, enjoy!!

Warnings: Cute

“He’s in love!” Fenrys was shouting out of the apartment windows.

Rowan had half a mind of going up to Fenrys and pushing him out, but was blessedly stopped by the apartment’s door opening and the rest of their friends filling in. Lorcan, Vaughan, Connall and Aedion stared strangely at Fenrys, as if the man had definitely gone mad this time.

“What the fuck?” Lorcan asked.

“He’s in love. He’s in love. He’s in looooooove.” Fenrys laughed maniacally, singing the last part.

Vaughan and Connall sat in the sofa in front of Rowan’s armchair while Aedion and Lorcan took the loveseat. The four kept looking at Fenrys, hoping for a better explanation. Fenrys, realizing the stares, grinned like a wolf and threw himself on Rowan.

“Get off of me, you stupid prick.” Rowan grunted, but Fenrys did nothing of the sorts. Instead he just sprawled himself more.

“Rowan is in love.”

Lorcan smiled humorously. “With you?”

Fenrys grinned. “Always. But I am actually talking about Galathynius.”

All eyes went immediately to Rowan’s face, and although he tried to control it, a dopey grin appeared on his lips. There was a chorus of grunts and pained moans, and both Rowan’s and Fenrys’s smiles grew.

“I’m not in love. I just really like her.” Rowan tried to say before Fenrys shoved his elbow into Rowan’s mouth.

“Shut the fuck up. If she asked you to walk in all fours you would. No questions asked.” Fenrys replied, earning laughs from everyone but Aedion who seemed to be in physical pain.

“I can’t believe that you and my cousin…” He shuddered. “I never want to know details. Never. I already miss the times you two despised each other.”

“Well those times are gone!” Fenrys announced, getting up and walking to the kitchen. He more hopped than walked, to be honest. He came back with a pile of red cups and a bottle of cheap champagne Lysandra had left here the other day.

Fenrys threw a cup at everyone, going around and filling it with the sparkly liquid. For Rowan, however, he just handed the bottle so he could drink whatever remained. Fenrys cleared his throat dramatically, and even with his face hurting from smiling so much, Rowan rolled his eyes.

“I have been, for years, trying to get these two together.” Fenrys announced and Rowan scoffed. The others laughed, undoubtedly remembering some of Fenrys’s attempts of making Rowan and Aelin get together. “And today, this man right here made my dreams come true.”

He grabbed Rowan’s shoulder with a hand, and when Rowan looked at the rest of the guys, he could see that all were trying very hard not to laugh.

“We kissed once, Fen.” Rowan tried saying.

“Nonetheless,” Fenrys shouted to drown Rowan’s words.” It is the start of something that I will not allow to be broken.”

Fenrys’s gaze went around the room, stopping at everyone’s eyes at once. Rowan bit the inside of his cheeks not to laugh, but nodded just the same when Fenrys looked at him. Seeming pleased with himself, Fenrys gave himself a nod.

“And so let’s celebrate tonight! Because today we celebrate what will one day be a long lasting and loving marriage!”

“Marriage?!” Aedion choked.

“Shut up!” Fenrys screamed. He took a deep breath before plastering a smile back on his face and raising his cup. “To Rowan and Aelin!”

All the guys were laughing their asses off, Vaughan had even tears rolling down his cheek, but all raised their drinks and all let out an animated shout.

——

4 years later

“Let me start this speech by saying that I was fucking right.” Fenrys said, earning a laugh from everyone in the party. Rowan shook his head, but Aelin was beaming by his side.

Rowan tore his eyes from his best man to look at the woman that was now his wife. She was smiling so much as Fenrys went on about being the one bringing the two of them together, that Rowan couldn’t help the smile on his own face. He put an arm around her shoulders, hugging her side as he gave her a kiss on her temple.

“I spent four years trying to get these two together, and four years ago Rowan finally put his big boy’s undies on and kissed the girl.” Rowan scolded at Fenrys’s words, but Aelin laughed freely.

“She could have kissed me!” Rowan shouted.

“Shush, I like where this is going.” Aelin said, giving him a playful slap on the chest.

“Yeah, Rowan, shush.” Fenrys winked at the newly-wed, and Rowan could only roll his eyes as everyone else laughed. If he had been hoping for a serious best man speech, then he should have chosen someone else to be his best man. “But, despite me being right as per usual, the night is not about me and my intelligence. Unfortunately.”

“I should have picked another best man.” Rowan muttered against Aelin’s hair. Although he couldn’t see it, he knew she was smiling.

“I think Fen would have died. After killing you, of course.” She muttered back, putting her hand on top of his on the table. She rested against his side, raising her head to give him a quick kiss on his jawline. “Besides, he’s your best friend.”

Rowan simply grunted as Fenrys went on with his speech. His voice went unbelievably soft, and he gave Rowan and Aelin a serene smile. “No, tonight is about Rowan and Aelin. Just so everyone here knows, the two of them are so in love. I mean, they are getting married so everyone knows that they love each other, but I don’t believe everyone knows to what extent. For you to have an idea, you see that dopey grin Rowan has because he is hugging his wife? Well, he has had that same grin since their first kiss.”

At that, Aelin looked up at Rowan at the same time he looked down on her. Her eyes were brimmed with tears, and Rowan cupped her face to give her a soft kiss as Fenrys continued his speech.

“I saw the two of them falling in love. It was beautiful, the type of shit you see in movies. It was slow, and natural, and so pure that there was no doubt in this universe that the would end up together forever. Rowan, I have been your best friend for twenty seven years now. I knew you since before we were one, and I had the immense pleasure of being by your side during most important moments of your life. I saw you travel the world, get into college. I saw you have hundreds of stupid adventures during your teenage years, saw you have hundreds of dreams throughout your whole life. I saw everything, from the best to the worst, and yet I can’t remember one single memory in which you seemed happier than when you simply look at Ace.”

Moments ago, the whole party had been laughing at Fen’s jokes. Now, there was a sweet silence, all the guests looking at Rowan and Aelin.

Rowan felt his throat constricting, and gripped Aelin’s hand harder as she melted even more against his side.

“In all you adventures, all your dreams, I am so, so happy you found Aelin to be the greatest of them all, Ro. Because a love like the two of you have? That’s a one in a billion, man. You found what everyone looks for their whole life, and you are so unbelievably lucky that you are also Ace’s greatest dream. You deserve each other. You deserved the four amazing years prior to this night. You deserve the beautiful wedding, the people here to witness your love. And I am sure that you deserve the next decades together, the good and the bad, the funny situations and the sad ones. You deserve to be together through them because I don’t think there is any other way the two of you can overcome the hardships of life if not together. I never believed in soulmates, but if I did, it would be you, Aelin and Rowan. Because there is no Rowan without Aelin, and no Aelin without Rowan. Not anymore.”

Aelin was fully crying now, just as she had been during Lysandra’s speech, and Rowan also felt his eyes watering even though no tears came out. He raised his glass the same time Fenrys raised his. The two of them shared a knowing smile before Fenrys turned to the whole party, willing them to raise their own glasses.

“To Aelin and Rowan! Let their love last until they draw their last breath!”

Everyone screamed and shouted merrily, drinking down the champagne in big gulps. Rowan took a single sip, offering the rest to Aelin who was still resting against his side. She raised her head, taking the glass and drinking a small sip before setting the glass down. She turned to him, taking his face in between her hands.

When Aelin smiled at Rowan, his heart seemed as if it was going to burst inside his chest. Even in tears, Aelin was the most radiant thing he had ever laid his eyes on. She was so beautiful that sometimes Rowan would wake up earlier just to look at her while she slept. Since the beginning, Aelin had been like a magnet, and Rowan couldn’t help but feel pulled towards her.

He cupped her face back, thumb brushing over the tears as he bent down to kiss her. She met him halfway, smiling into the kiss. Her hands sneaked from his face to the back of his neck, going down his back until she was hugging him. Rowan felt Aelin’s body flushed against his, and his smile only widened when she laughed against his mouth. “I love you so much, Ro. I can’t explain how much I love you.”

He withdrew a little, resting his forehead against hers. Their eyes were closed, but they knew that both were smiling. “I love you too, Ace. I love you so, so much.”

When he opened his eyes, he saw Aelin already staring at him. Her smile became soft, another single tear falling down her cheek. Rowan kissed it away, pulling her deeper into his arms. She sat on his hap, face burrowed in the crook of his neck. She brushed her nose against his throat as his hands went up and down her back. They stayed like this for a while before getting up to enjoy the rest of the party.

To enjoy the rest of their lives.

———

Rowan had gotten rid of his tie and blazer hours ago, and Aelin’s hair was a mess of curls and pearls as the night went by.

She laughed merrily when Rowan spun her around and then pulled her back into his arms. Her white and silver dress caught in the light, and it made her seem like a star while she danced animatedly with her husband.

Her back hit his chest, and his arms sneaked around her body, hugging her body against his. She had forgone her heels a while ago, and so the top of her head only reached his neck. Rowan bent down to whisper on her ear, his smile as bright as Aelin’s.

“Mrs. Galathynius-Whitethorn.”

She giggled. “You’ve said this a thousand times in the last hours.”

“You’re my wife.” The dopey grin Fenrys had cited earlier took over his lips.

Aelin bit her cheeks to keep another giggle in. “I am.”

“You are legally bound to me.” He sounded so dreamy that Aelin couldn’t help but titter.

She turned in his arms, looking up at him as her arms hugged his neck. “And you are legally bound to me. Forever, buzzard.”

He nodded, kissing her before retreating, the smile never leaving his face. “I am married to the same woman that said she would rather die before being alone in a room with me.”

Aelin scoffed, rolling her eyes. “That was years ago.”

“I seduced you.” Rowan said, ignoring Aelin’s words. He looked so smug that Aelin narrowed her eyes.

“Be quiet.”

“I seduced you so bad that you married me.” He kept ignoring her, his expression more and more complacent.

“I will divorce you.”

“My amazing personality and incredible techniques in bed convinced the most stubborn human being in the world to change her mind.” He had a shit-eating grin on his mouth now, looking down at her extremely pleased with himself.

“Definitely more your dick than you brain, love.” Aelin singsonged, and Rowan narrowed his eyes at her.

He grabbed Aelin in his arms, bringing her up against his body until their mouths were at the same level. He kissed her, tongue sweeping over her lower lip. Aelin let out a small whimper, opening her mouth against his. As Rowan’s lips moved lazily against hers, he muttered. “Liar.”

She opened her eyes, staring at his pine green eyes until both of them were smiling. She nodded, one hand cupping his face as her thumb stroked his cheek. “I do love you, though.”

He nodded too, hugging her more strongly against his body. “I love you too, Mrs. Galathynius-Whitethorn.”

Rowan felt his face hurting from smiling so much at her answering chortles.

Aelin laid her head on his shoulder, ignoring the party around them as she breathed her husband in. His pine and snow scent had always reminded her pf her childhood, of her home. Maybe it had been the universe’s way of showing her, since the beginning, that Rowan was destined to be her end point, her permanent home. Every day with him had her thinking that she couldn’t be happier, couldn’t fall deeper in love. And yet, every night Aelin went to sleep, she loved him more than she had in the morning, and every morning when Aelin woke up in between Rowan’a arms, she loved him more than she had in the previous night.

There was a difference between falling in love and loving someone, she realized. A difference between the passion and the feeling of being home. The burning from inside out and the warmth that took over her body whenever she was near Rowan. A difference between knowing she would wake up every day and fall in love with him again, but that loving him would be forever, never needing to start again.

Falling in love had been hot and intense, but loving him was calm and welcoming. The intensity of passion morphed into the unbreakable feeling of being safe, of being welcomed. Aelin would constantly be falling in love with her husband, but she couldn’t help but be glad about the already established love she felt and how good it felt.

As Rowan held her in his arms, her beautiful wedding gown brushing against the floor, she couldn’t help but feel like she had reached the peak of love, the peak of happiness. She couldn’t help but believe that if she loved him a little more, she would burst.

And yet she also knew that, as always, she would wake up the next morning a love him a little more.

“Mr. Galathynius-Whitethorn.” She whispered, and she only knew he had heard when his arms crushed her against him, face burrowing in the crook of her neck.

————

“Ro!” Aelin called, her bare foot sounding against the wood floor as she went around their new house looking for her husband. They had just moved out of their apartment into the new house a two days ago, and neither of them seemed too excited about organizing everything. “Ro!”

She reached the living room, seeing Rowan sitting on the couch, a laptop in front of him. He was typing lazily, eyes squinted behind his glasses. He tore his eyes from the screen, looking Aelin up until his gaze landed on her face. A small smile took over his lips, and he closed his laptop, setting it on the coffee table in front of him.

“What happened?”

“The shower.” Aelin grunted, walking in his direction. She stopped in the middle of his legs, crossing her arms. “It’s not working properly. I’ve been trying to fix for thirty minutes now.”

Rowan scoffed, pulling Aelin by her elbows until she was straddling his hips. “And?”

“And I need help.” She said impatiently, but she did put her arms around his shoulders, fingers playing with his silver hair in the back of his head.

“What do you need a shower for, anyways?” Rowan asked, nose grazing her neck.

Aelin fought a smile. “Take a fucking wild guess. I’m all sweaty and disgusting.”

His grazing evolved into small kisses, and despite her best intentions, Aelin arched her neck back slightly. “You’re not disgusting. And I don’t exactly mind the other one.”

Aelin laughed, taking his face in her hands and forcing him to look at her. He had a smile on his lips, and she couldn’t help but smile back. “Fenrys and Lysandra were very nice in throwing us a two anniversary party. A party that starts in three hours. Meaning I have to shower.”

“Or we could ditch it and spend our anniversary in bed.” Rowan mumbled, hands gripping her hips.

“We don’t have a bed yet.” Aelin replied, brows raising.

“I can fuck you in the couch just fine too.”

Aelin laughed again, quickly leaving his lap before he convinced her that his idea was the best one. He narrowed his eyes at her, and Aelin must gave him a saccharine smile. “Party. We are going to the party.”

“Sounds boring.”

“Sounds like you have to help me with the shower.”

Rowan rolled his eyes, but he got up. Aelin turned to walk to their bathroom when she felt Rowan’s arms coming around her chest. She rested her head against his chest as they tried to walk to the bathroom. In a matter of moments they became a mess of legs getting in the way of one another, and Aelin could only try to hold herself up as she felt them falling. Rowan hugged her and turned his body so Aelin wouldn’t hit the ground.

She closed her eyes for a few seconds after falling, opening them to find Rowan staring at her face.

They looked at each other in silence before both started laughing uncontrollably. Rowan’s arms were around her waist, and Aelin fixed Rowan’s glasses on his face while she laid on top of him. She could feel his body shaking with laughter, and her own laughs got more intense due to the happiness in his. Her hands here playing with the strands of hair that fell on his face, and as the laughter gave out, Aelin smiled down at Rowan.

He smiled back at her, the hands on her hips making sweet circles against her skin. Aelin leaned down, brushing her nose against his before giving him a soft kiss.

“Are you hurt?”

“If I say yes, do we stay home all night?” Rowan asked, a knowing smile on his lips. He winked at her and Aelin shook her head, a single laugh coming out of her.

“No, but I will refuse to do any activities after the party that can worsen your condition.”

Rowan grunted, sitting up with Aelin on his lap. He rested his back against the wall. “In this case, I never been better.”

Aelin scrunched her nose quickly, giving Rowan another kiss before standing up. His hands gripped her thighs and he looked up at her. He had an ironic smile on his face, and it only grew when Aelin shook her head and sat back down.

“So predictable.” Rowan mused and laughed when Aelin gave him a playful slap on the shoulder.

“Shut it. I’m your wife for two years. It would be an absurd if somethings weren’t already predictable.” She tried to sound angry, but the pulling in her mouth gave her away. “We are going to that party.”

Rowan nodded solemnly. “Later, though. The shower can wait.”

Aelin didn’t have the chance to reply before Rowan’s hands tangled in her hair, pulling her in. His mouth was hot and soft against hers, and Aelin felt herself melting against his body as his lips moved against hers. Even after years together, kissing Rowan was still one of the best experiences of her life. His mouth was like heaven, and whenever he kissed her, all other thoughts fled from her head.

Rowan and Aelin remained seated in that corridor for the next hour, boxes full with their lives all around them. It would take weeks until they managed to get through all of them, but neither was worried about that at the moment. Instead, they just kissed, touching each other, loving each other.

It was only when Rowan’s phone rang that Aelin drew back, eyes wide at the time. She got up quickly while Rowan cursed the stupid phone.

“The shower!” Aelin said, rushing to the bathroom.

Rowan grunted, getting up. He sighed, walking after his wife. “I need a shower now. A cold one.”

———

“Are you sure this is right?” Aelin crunched her nose, bending down to look at the pot in front of them. “I don’t think this is the right color. It’s supposed to be beige.”

“What the fuck is beige?”

“What the fuck do you mean?” Aelin looked at her husband, his confused expression matching her own. “The color beige.”

Rowan just stared at her.

“Aren’t you an architect? How the hell do you not know what beige is?”

Rowan grunted, ignoring her question and going back to the recipe in front of him. He red it once more, looking around the mess they had created in the kitchen. It was impossible to know if they had used the right measurements and ingredients, because the measuring cups were all around the place. Flour, sugar and cocoa powder smeared against the kitchen island, floor and even some cupboards. It looked like a hurricane had hit their kitchen.

“We don’t know how to cook, Ace. Let’s give up.”

“Give up?” She almost shouted, incredulous. “If I can create seven marketing campaigns in less than a week and you can build a building with a hundred floors, thousands of rooms and make that shit safe, we can bake a goddamn can.”

Rowan had to bite the inside of his cheeks to keep himself from laughing. He shook his head, looking up and down his wife. She was as dirty as the kitchen, sugar and cocoa powder all over her.

She looked at him, eyes narrowing at his expression. “What?”

Rowan didn’t know if it was her expression, the anger in her words or her appearance, but he couldn’t help but start laughing. He was laughing so much that he had to grip the island while he doubled over, flour falling from his hair. He saw his reflection in one of the windows, which only caused him to laugh more.

Aelin was strangely quiet, and when Rowan looked up to see if she was a little pissed or majorly pissed, he received a blow of flour right to his face.

His laughter was immediately ended, and he took a step back. He was so shocked that it took him a moment to realize what had happened. He looked at Aelin, his wife with a smug smile on her face and a hand completely engulfed by flour. She pressed her lips against one another, nodding to herself. “You know what? This is funny. I understand you laughing.”

Rowan gave her a dangerous smile, taking off his glasses and sweeping a hand over his face. When she turned back to the recipe, Rowan grabbed one of the sugar bags on the counter.

“Enough of the jokes, Ace. If you want to do this cake, focus on the cake.” He said, stepping behind her and looking over her shoulder at the recipe. She nodded, reading the instructions.

Even though she couldn’t see it, Rowan smiled as he raised his hand holding the sugar bag and turned it upside down right on top of Aelin’s head.

She let out a screech, immediately turning around to face Rowan. She cleaned her eyes angrily, tilting her head back to glare at him.

“I am becoming a widow today.”

He chuckled, grabbing a handful of cocoa powder when he saw her reaching behind her to grab some more flour. They threw the ingredients at each other at the same time, the air becoming misty.

Rowan could barely see what was happening, and he could only have an idea where Aelin was based on the sound of her loud chortles. He himself was laughing too, throwing more sugar in the direction he thought she was.

Suddenly, she went quiet. Rowan looked around, the air still clearing from all the cocoa, flour and sugar thrown around. He had a hand full of sugar and was about to call for Aelin’s name when he felt something cold and wet being thrown on top of his head.

“Bloody fucking hell.” He screamed, turning around to see Aelin holding the pot they had been using to make the cake. She was laughing so hard that tears were streaking her cheeks, extremely evident as they made their path through the cocoa powder on her face. She let go of the pot, taking careful steps back when she saw the expression on Rowan’s face. She tried to control her laughs, raising her hands. “Truce?”

“Fuck truce.” Rowan said, taking big steps to catch her. Aelin tried running, but she didn’t got two steps before Rowan’s arm sneaked around her waist. Her back hit his chest, and although she knew she shouldn’t, Aelin couldn’t stop laughing.

Rowan turned her around, pinning her back to the fridge and her chest against his. He reached back an arm, coming back with the full bag of cocoa powder and dropping it on top of Aelin’s head. She coughed as she laughed, shaking her head to make it all fall down.

When she looked up, her whole face was dirty. “You’re a terrible cooker.”

“You started.” Rowan said, looking at his reflection on the fridge and knowing he wasn’t much better than Aelin.

“You’re older. You’re supposed to be the responsible one.” She said, hands on his shoulders. She brushed some sugar off, doing the same with his face.

“The responsible thing to do is never let you cook again.”

She snickered, giving him a sarcastic expression. “I would have done just fine if it wasn’t for you.”

“Me?” He raised his brows, a half smile on his lips. “This mess is my fault?”

“Uh-hum.” She muttered, raising on her tip toes to kiss his jaw line. She peppered his jaw with open mouthed kissed, tongue sweeping over his skin. “If you didn’t have a terrible concentration and got distracted by me, this wouldn’t have happened.”

“Oh?” He said, pressing her more against the fridge. His hands went from her waist to the back of her thighs, fingers squeezing her skin. “Aren’t you the one distracted?”

She kissed the hollow of his throat, going up his neck with the tip of her tongue. She went all the way to his earlobe, biting it gently. “No.”

Rowan hauled her up, Aelin’s legs going around his waist. “My bad then.”

Aelin smiled as she there her head back, Rowan’s mouth on her neck and the cake they were supposed to do absolutely forgotten.

———

“Ro. Ro.” Aelin shook her husband. “Rowan. Love.”

Rowan slowly opened his eyes, gaze immediately falling on the woman sitting down on they bed. Her hair was a mess, and the moonlight filtering through the curtains made her creamy skin glow. Her eyes were shining as always, the turquoise and gold looking like they irradiated light.

“Did something happen?” He grumbled, turning his body so he could rest his face on his wife’s lap. His arms went around her waist, and although he could feel her impatience, her hands started playing softly with his hair.

“It’s snowing.” She whispered.

“Ok?” He asked, more awake now. He looked up to see Aelin beaming down at him.

“Want to go play?” She looked so excited that if Rowan hadn’t been laying on her lap, she would probably be jumping up and down the bed.

“Now?” He said, slowly. She nodded animatedly, and although it was three in the morning, Rowan couldn’t bring himself to say no. He just grumbled, getting up.

Aelin let out an excited squeak, rushing to their closet to put on her winter clothes. Aelin had always loved winter, every year waiting for the perfect snowfall to go play outside as if she was a kid. Rowan had never been as spontaneous, even when he was younger, but he had to admit that hearing Aelin’s delighted laughs as she threw snowballs at him was the closest thing to heaven he had ever witnessed.

He got dressed slowly, and the moment he finished putting his boots on, Aelin grabbed his hand and pulled him to the backyard. Rowan had to walk faster to match her steps, a smile already taking over his face at his wife’s excitement.

She giggled happily the moment she stepped outside, arms wide open as she looked up. Snowflakes immediately covered her honey-gold hair, a few on her lashes too. She opened her eyes and looked at Rowan. He had been resting against the threshold, arms crossed and a grin on his face as he watched Aelin.

She extended a hand to him, and he grabbed it, pulling her into a hug. “Are you happy, Ro?”

He rested his chin on top of her head. “Yes, of course I am.”

“I don’t mean only about this. I mean about us, about our marriage.” She looked up at him, fingers brushing away a strand of hair from his temple.

He cupped her face, cleaning her cheeks and eyes from the snowflakes. When she opened her eyes again after the swept his thumbs lightly over it, Aelin found Rowan smiling down at her. It wasn’t the grin from moments ago, of the smile he usually gave her whenever she entered a room. No, this one was the smile he gave her whenever he wanted her to know how deeply in love he was with her.

“I can’t imagine a life that would make me happier, Ace. I can’t even believe how happy I am in this one.”

She nodded, bitting her lower lip. “It’s just that I love you so much that it’s sometimes hard to believe that you can possibly love me as much.”

Rowan hugged her tightly against his body, her chin against his chest as she looked up at him. “I can’t explain how much I love you, Fireheart. I can’t explain how happy just being around you makes me. We’ve been married for more than two years, together for even longer, and having you for myself still feels like a sacrilege.”

She gave him a small smile. “A sacrilege?”

He nodded, grinning down at her. “The biggest one.”

“Do you believe you have violated something sacred, Ro?”

He held her face I both hands, fingers tangling in her hair. “Having all of you, Ace. It feels like a sacrilege to know that you are mine, and only mine. Maybe it’s a violation to get you all for myself, nothing left for the rest of the world.”

Aelin’s fingers squeezed his waist, and she had a beaming smile as she raised herself to kiss him. Rowan’s mouth seemed even hotter due to the cold weather, and Aelin realized the if she could lose herself in him, she would. If she could spend the rest of her days feeling his soft mouth moving lovingly against hers, his tongue brushing hers, she wouldn’t hesitate in saying yes.

“Loving you is sacrilegious, Ace.” He breathed against her mouth.

“Loving you is sacred, Ro.” She breathed back.

—————

Aelin relaxed against her husband’s chest, her head resting on his shoulder.

He kissed her cheek, hand on her bent knee. Aelin’s hands were playing with the misty water in the bathtub, drawing small circles with a single finger.

Rowan’s arms were embracing her against his body, and he was humming softly.

“Ro?” She said, voce somewhat tense.

Rowan immediately opened his eyes, trying to see her face. “Yeah?”

“We need to talk.” She said, fingers playing more agitatedly on the water. “Can I ask you something?”

Rowan’s heart constricted, and he felt his throat twisting. Something like terror was creeping up his veins, and he had to clear his throat and blink a few times. He gripped Aelin more strongly, as if he could stop what was about to happen from actually happening. The best way to stop it was from showing her why this was a terrible idea before she even started explaining the whys, before she started breaking his heart.

“Do you want a divorce?” Rowan asked before she could say anything, voice so low he could barely hear his own words.

Apparently, Aelin had heard them without a problem, because she immediately sat up, turning around to look at him. Where she had been sitting moment ago with her back against his chest, she was know kneeling, looking at him. Her face was crumpled in worry and pain, and she could feel her eyes watering.

“What?” Her voice sounded small, sounded so careful. “You want a divorce? I— I thought we were fine. I thought we were happy.”

She bit her lower lip, trying to control the tears. She honestly thought everything had been fine, that he still loved her but if he wanted a divorce, didn’t even want to give them a chance to fix things, then maybe she had been blind the last few—

“What? No!” Rowan sat up, eyes wide and voice frantic. “No. No, of course I don’t want a divorce. I thought you wanted one.”

She felt a single tear falling down her cheek. She furrowed her brows, crossing her arms. “Why the fuck would you think that?”

“You sounded as if you were about to say exactly that when you came with the whole ‘we need to talk’ speech.” Rowan answered, clenching his fist to not reach forward and wipe Aelin’s tear away. He hated when she cried, and he had never been the reason for it before. It was tearing him apart inside.

“No, of course not.” Aelin shook her head, staring at Rowan. “Of course I don’t want to divorce you. That’s the stupidest thing I ever heard you say.”

Despite the situation, Rowan felt his whole body relaxing. His racing mind came to a stop, and he felt like he could breath again. Of course she didn’t want a divorce, of course things were fine. They hadn’t argued in months, and they were genuinely happy. Rowan had been crazy in even considering that.

“I’m sorry.” She said, coming a little closer to Rowan. “I didn’t think you would think I wanted to end things when I said we needed to talk. I should have worded it better. I don’t want to talk about anything bad, it’s a different topic.”

Rowan nodded, relief setting even deeper into his body. He pulled Aelin in, hugging her. She rested her chest against his, head on the crook of his neck. Aelin could feel her body relaxing against Rowan’s, could feel the blinding fear leaving her body. The prospect of losing Rowan was terrifying, and she had never been more relieved then when Rowan explained he had no interest in divorcing her.

“I’m sorry, Ace. I should have been more delicate about it. I should have let you talk.” His hands went up and down her spine, half to calm her down and half to show both of them that they were still together, that they still had each other. “I’m so, so sorry, love. I didn’t mean to make you scared or sad.”

Aelin simply nodded, bitting her lip. “I don’t want a divorce, I want a baby.”

Rowan tensed beneath her, and Aelin felt herself become tense. She wanted to have this conversation for weeks now, but she never knew the best way to bring it up. Obviously, the one she had chosen wasn’t the best.

“I want us to have a baby. I know we never talked about it before, and that we’re still young but I want a baby. I want a baby so bad, Ro. I’ve been trying to talk to you about this for weeks now, and I will completely understand if you don’t want it. You’re thirty and I’m still twenty six, we have time, but…” She said it too rushed, the last words trailing down.

When Rowan didn’t say anything, Aelin slowly raised her face. She was nervous to look at his expression, but all worries vanished from her body when she found Rowan beaming at her. Incapable of holding herself back, she beamed back at him. “Can we have a baby?”

Rowan laughed, hugging Aelin until she was breathless. He gripped her face, kissing her strongly before drawing back and laughing some more. “Yes. Yes, we can have a fucking baby. No to divorce, yes to baby. Fucking Gods, yeah we can add a new person to the family.”

Aelin laughed with him, the tense mood immediately disappearing. “No to divorce, yes to baby.”

———

“Mrs. Whitethorn?” Maeve, Rowan’s coworker at the agency, asked. She had a puzzled look on her face. “Is everything all right? Do you need help?”

Aelin knew how she looked. She had ran here, too anxious to risk the chance of getting caught in traffic. Her hair must have been a mess, the winter clothes he had on looking all disheveled. She was breathing hard, a hand over her heart. “Is my husband in?”

“Yeah, he’s finishing a meeting with Gavriel and Lorcan. Everyone else already left.” Maeve said, getting up. She offered Aelin a hand, expression washed in worry. “Are you sure everything is ok?”

“It’s January.” Aelin said as if that explained it all.

“Ok…” Maeve said cautiously.

“Me and Rowan started dating in January.”

“Is today some sort of celebration?” Maeve asked, a smile on her lips.

“No, no.” Aelin said, trying to control her breathing. Maeve looked so confused that Aelin calmed herself down enough to explain. “It was so unexpected that for the past seven years January is the month we have our little competition. Whoever surprises the other the most wins. It’s a joke regarding how surprised people were when they discovered about us.”

Aelin didn’t tell her the prize the winner won.

Maeve laughed, finally understanding what was going on. “And I assume you have something surprising for him.”

Aelin nodded, a smirk on her face. “It’s the last day of the month and. I can’t tell him by phone, and if I called him to come home instead of going out with the guys, he would refuse just so I would only be able to tell him tomorrow. In February. Rowan thought he had won with the surprise trip for Italy during spring break.”

“But no?” Maeve seemed extremely interested in their little game.

Aelin shook her head, and the moment she opened her mouth, she saw a door opening and her husband coming out with Gavriel and Lorcan behind him. He took a few seconds to realize that Aelin was standing there with Maeve, but the moment he noticed her, his face was washed with confusion and worry.

“Is everything all right, Ace?”

Aeling laughed almost maniacally. “You lost.”

“What?” He approached her slowly.

“You lost this year.” She grinned brightly and animatedly. “You fucking lost, dipshit.”

Aelin heard Maeve choking on laughter as she left the room, and even Lorcan and Gavriel smiled at that even though they had no idea what was going on.

“The hell you mean, Aelin?”

“You thought the trip would be the biggest surprise? Idiot.” She laughed again, and now that Rowan finally understood, he narrowed his eyes.

“It was.” He declared.

“No, no, dear husband. Because I know something you don’t, thus it is a surprise. So, so much bigger than yours.”

Rowan crossed his arms, tapping his foot on the floor. “Oh, yeah? What is it then?”

Aelin’s grin became a full smile, and she was beaming as she continued. “I’m pregnant.”

Rowan looked at her in silence for what seemed an eternity. He looked down her belly and then up her face, a huge smile breaking on his face. He laughed just as hard as she had. He ran up to her, grabbing her in his arms. Rowan spun her around as they both laughed, Aelin’s arms going around his neck to hug him back.

“I’m gonna be a dad.” He announced, and smile even harder when Aelin nodded. Rowan turned to Gavriel and Lorcan who were smiling at them. “I’m gonna be a fucking dad!”

The two men laughed, muttering their congratulations. Rowan hugged Aelin more tightly, peppering her face and neck with fast and lovingly kissed.

“We are going to be parents.” Rowan said, voice full of joy as he looked down at Aelin’s stomach.

Aelin nodded, tears swelling in her eyes. “We will.”

“We made a baby. We are going to have a baby.” He sounded so amazed by the words that Aelin laughed again.

“Yeah. Yeah, we will, love.” She said, voice soft and gentle. Rowan raised his head to look at her, and Aelin could see the tears brimming his eyes. She cupped his face, kissing him before laughing against his mouth. “We are going to be a mom and dad.”

Rowan rested his forehead against Aelin’s, one hand on her stomach and the other one in the back of her neck.

When he heard her voice again, Rowan opened his eyes to stare at the turquoise and gold staring back at him. She gave him a smug smile full of hidden meaning. “I won. And I know exactly what I want.”

———

“What is all this?” Aelin asked, a smile on her face. She entered the living room, loosing at the lights hung from the ceiling. They casted a yellowish hue to the whole room. The furniture had been move away, and now the room had a huge empty spot in the middle.

Rowan came from behind her, embracing her body. “As much as I loved our second anniversary party, this year we’re staying at home.” He said against her ear, giving her a small kiss. “Alone.”

“The baby.”

“Alone with the baby.” Rowan corrected, a hand going down to Aelin’s stomach.

Rowan let go of her, walking up to an old victrola. He turned it on, the vinyl immediately turning. A soft melody filled to room, and Aelin smiled as she recognized the song.

“Nostalgic?” Aelin asked, walking up to Rowan.

He took her in his arms, one hand around her waist, the other one holding hers. Her free hand went to his shoulder, and they slowly swayed around the room under the melody of the song they danced during their wedding party.

“Whenever I’m stressed at work I listen to it.” Rowan said, a small smile on his lips as he looked down at Aelin. “Remembering our wedding night always makes me calm.”

Aelin matched his smile, gripping his hand and shoulder more tightly. She closed her eyes, focusing on Rowan’s touch and the melody only. “I love this song.”

“I love you.” Was all Rowan replied.

Aelin kept dancing, the melody and the movements so peaceful, so tranquil, that she felt as if she was floating. She felt her smile becoming more serene, and when she opened her eyes, Aelin looked at Rowan reverently. “I love you.”

Rowan nodded, and Aelin laid her head on his chest as the two celebrated another year together.

A year that had so many memories that they would tell their kids, so many memories that they would tell their grandkids.

Memories that they would remind each other, memories that they would whisper against each other’s skin.

And so Aelin and Rowan danced throughout the whole night. Danced alone for hours and hours.

Well, alone with the baby.

Tags:

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[scullysflannel]

I looooooove how the show handled Hayley being queer/(not sure if that gets more defined in the final 2 eps) and how Joe can See first because he knows & how sweetly he tries to let Gordon know without saying it. I love this 💘💘

they handled that exactly right. if you want me to love Joe, making him nurture a teenage girl's crush on the waitress at the local burger shack is the way to do it

[bookscapadesblog]

A continued lists of books I’ve read in 2021...📚

Like before this list will have links, stars, and a quick review! Also a few of these were from kindle unlimited and audible plus so if you have either of those they’re free to you!

Rules for Being a Girl by Candace Bushnell and Katie Cotugno (⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️)

I loooooooved this book. The girl power behind it was awesome and it was so relatable as someone that was once a teenage girl. My opinion is that everyone should read it 💅🏻

The Guest List by Lucy Foley (⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️)

This one was a Goodreads Choice 2020 Winner, and it was good but not THAT good. I have to imagine there was a better mystery/thriller published last year. But overall it has interesting/complex characters and a lot of deceit, so it was fun. It does take place in Ireland (I think, I don’t remember) so some of the slang took me a minute to understand

Monday’s Not Coming by Tiffany Jackson (⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️)

This book made me very very sad but it was good! The chapter titles confused me but once I reached the end and everything made sense I was like ooooohhhh. The twist was not one I was expecting and was basically heartbreaking 😭

That’s Not What Happened by Kody Keplinger (⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️)

Also super sad (but free in the audible plus catalog!) and almost had me crying on my way into work MULTIPLE times. I liked how it was told with some letters from different characters mixed into it

Truly, Madly, Deadly by Hannah Jayne (⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️)

This one is available on Kindle Unlimited, and for a free book I enjoyed it 🤷🏻‍♀️. It had suspense, a twist, and a lot of tragedy so your stereotypical thriller

Crown of Coral and Pearl by Mara Rutherford (⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️)

Also on Kindle Unlimited, I FLEW through this book. I think I read it in two days 😐. It was a nice mix of fantasy and suspense and I realllly want to read the second one but I haven’t bought it yet.

Rule of Wolves by Leigh Bardugo (⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️)

I think I’ve mentioned before how much I love Nikolai, Zoya, and Nina so obviously I loved this book. It’s going to get a more in depth review after I reread it, but a nice ending to the Nikolai Duology!

Lore by Alexandra Bracken (⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️)

I have always really enjoyed Greek Mythology (like I had fun reading the Odyssey...my siblings thing I’m a weirdo) so I was excited for this! Overall it was good, I kinda wish it was a duology so the character backgrounds didn’t feel so rushed, but still enjoyable!

A Good Girls Guide to Murder by Holly Jackson (⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️)

This one was on my tbr list for a verrrrry long time and I finished it in less than 24 hours. I loved all the characters and how if you were paying attention you could guess who the murderer was BUT you would never have guessed the whole story 🤔

Half Truths by Claire Contreras (⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️)

Available on kindle unlimited! This reminded me of Ninth House a little bit (minus the fantasy elements) BUT it had the romance that book was lacking for me. Enemies to lovers, secret societies, and the love interest is a hockey player? Sign me up. Also I really liked the cover art.

You Love Me by Caroline Kepnes (⭐️⭐️)

I really liked both You and Hidden Bodies, but this one just did not do it for me. It just was not as exciting and the twist at the end didnt even do anything for it IMO. I wasted an Audible credit on you 🤦🏻‍♀️

[scithemodestmermaid]

i know i was just talking about how good outer worlds is but i just got to one part and remembered how much it rubs me the wrong way.

spoilers for a year-old game, and surrounding a character who used to be up on a pedestal.  idk if this character is as popular anymore or if she’s been fully dethroned by cyberpunk 2077′s judy alvarez, but i might be stepping on some toes here.

so.  pavarti.  everybody looooooooves (or at the very least loooooooved) pavarti.  and i can see why.  she’s well acted and designed, her personality isn’t my thing (she’s reeeeally passive and mousey, which can be okay but she goes too far) but it appeals to a lot of people so there’s something there, and she’s an asexual teetotaler.  this last part was what made her really stand out to me.  characters who think sex and alcohol are overrated are honestly hard to come by in games made for grownups, so i was glad they had her be that.  bravo, obsidian!

then...comes...her...loyalty...quest.  her loyalty quest.  which kicks off because a girl she’s pining for might have had another girlfriend, so she decides to get drunk to ease the pain.  even though the whole reason she’s a teetotaler is because she noticed that drinking never solves anyone’s problem.  so that’s one thing that pisses me off.

then her secondary loyalty quest is making the player buy her a bunch of stuff so she can have le perfect date with her crush.  besides the fact that they could have done SO MANY OTHER INTERESTING THINGS WITH YOU AND HER BESIDES MAKING YOU HER SUGAR DADDY/MOMMA...its like, oh she’s asexual but her character quest is revolving around being attracted to someone.  and yes, there’s asexual folk who still feel romantic attraction, but that’s not how the quest is written.  i mean, she leads with “i don’t wanna get involved with folk” then goes full speed ahead into “LET ME INVOLVE WITH THAT PERSON”.  that just reeks to me of the dumbass mindset of “don’t worry, you just haven’t found the right person yet, and then you’ll magically be a sexual being.”  

never mind the fact that everything she says and does on this quest proves she is 100% not ready at all for a relationship of any kind.  this guide that i looked up honestly puts it into words for me.  she’s acting like a jealous teenager after immediately saying she’s not interested in relationships, turning to drinking because that’s like totally how adults deal with problems instead of talking to the person they’re having problems with (which pavarti can’t even do, because she’s THAT socially stunted, like come on girl, i’m the most socially stunted person in my circle and even i could handle this situation more maturely), and she’s just so immature about the whole thing and acting like a brat, and holy crap why is this so BAD.  everything else in this game is so GOOD and the other companion quests are AMAZING and reveal so much important things about them and pavarti’s quest is just CRAPPY HIGH SCHOOL FANFIC.

so i guess  i don’t like pavarti or her loyalty quests because they took two things that made her stand out and threw them out the window.  

actually there’s a third thing, and it’s the most important thing of them all: she keeps trying to steal sam from me.  sam is MY baby boy, keep your hands off of him you mousey brat.  

oh and update, and i took sam with us on this quest and she used him as a garbage bin, pavarti is a grade-a BRAT and a HYPOCRITE (sure you loooove sam so much, but you’re literally dumping garbage in him) and im seriously considering kicking her off my ship after this.

[whindsor]

So at the start of 2019, I made the resolution to read more books! I used to be a voracious reader as a kid, but between college and grad school I kind of...forgot how to do that? So I got myself a library card (clutch, tbh) and spent the year enjoying free books and audiobooks!

Below the cut are the books that I read with short reviews about them. They aren’t the only books I started, but the cool thing about a library card is that since the books are free, you don’t feel bad about not finishing them if you don’t like them! 

Take a gander, maybe you’ll find your next favorite read!

Brief summary, meaning my favorite books of the year: An Ember in the Ashes by Sabaa Tahir, Outlander by Diana Gabaldon, and An Absolutely Remarkable Thing by Hank Green!

As You Wish: Inconceivable Tales from the Making of the Princess Bride by Cary Elwes 7/10 IDK if I enjoyed this because of nostalgia or because it was the first book I borrowed with my fancy dancy library card but either way it was nice to read a first hand account of one of my favorite movies, written by an actor that obviously feels a lot of affection towards it. Snaps to you, Cary Elwes.

Wonder Woman: Warbringer by Leigh Bardugo 7/10 I read it because it was Wonder Woman! She saves a girl who washes up on the shores of Themyscira and goes on an adventure to save her from ancient magic forces. TBH it wasn’t anything earth shattering but it was a fun, adventurous read and an entertaining story. Minus two points because Leigh Bardugo got paid to write fanfiction and I haven’t achieved that yet.

The Selection by Keira Cass 6/10 It was interesting enough to finish the audiobook, and I continued it because I was curious as to what would happen. It’s almost like a medieval AU of The Bachelor. But then the dreaded love triangle came up and I didn’t like where it was going so I didn’t finish the sequel. Entertaining enough, but not one I would go back to.

Wicked Appetite / Wicked Business / Wicked Charms by Janet Evanovich 6/10 Again, juuuuuuuust interesting enough for me to finish the audiobooks. It was the first audiobooks I got with ye olde librarie carde so that’s probably why I was so attached to finishing them. Also it’s about a girl that has magic baking powers, which is also probably why I wanted to finish it. She has to track down dragon balls or something I can’t really remember but it wasn’t bad.

Outlander / Dragonfly in Amber / Voyager by Diana Gabaldon 8/10 I LOVED Outlander, loved Dragonfly in Amber slightly less, and could barely finish Voyager. The series is about a British WWII nurse who gets sent back in time to 1793 Scotland and has to navigate all that mess. Jamie Fraser and eventually Fergus are the crown jewels of this story. Outlander was fantastic to me, it was interesting and funny and saucy and all in all a good story about time travel and the repercussions. There’s like, five more books in the series but again, I lost interest. I’ll probably go back and see what happens though cause I think Gabaldon brings in new characters.

The Lost Girls of Paris by Pam Jenoff 8/10 A book about women spies in WWII France?? Fighting the Nazis and falling in love and being heroes?? Loved it. The characters were real and the fear palpable. Minus two points cause the love subplot was a touch underdeveloped but who knows man war changes things.

A Conjuring of Light by VE Schwab 9/10 The third in the series starting with A Darker Shade of Magic. I loooooooved the characters in this story, the plot twists were exciting instead of annoying, and the way that she uses magic and secrets and reveals were perfection. And I actually really enjoyed the ending, which is surprising. Would read again.

An Absolutely Remarkable Thing by Hank Green 9/10 A super interesting story about a mysterious sculpture that appears in New York and the subsequent fallout of crazy things that happen. I listened to the audiobook and the narrators were perfect, the story is fast paced and has good twists and the characters are super real and relatable and fallible. TBH I read it cause it’s John Green’s brother (I assume, I didn’t fact check) and he did NOT disappoint. Minus one point just cause I can’t bring myself to give out 10′s a lot.

Cinder by Marissa Meyer 8/10 Honestly? People shit on this book but I really enjoyed it. It’s fun and heart wrenching and an interesting take on the Cinderella story. One of these days I’ll finish Scarlet which is the sequel.

The Time Traveler’s Wife by Audrey Niffenegger 6/10 Holy shit this was way more intense than I anticipated it being. It was a really good take on time travel and the way it affects people. Truth be told I never saw the movie, but this book was crazy and saucy and super interesting. I didn’t give it a higher rating just cause the time traveler knew his wife since she was six and that doesn’t sit well with me.

Simon Vs. The Homo Sapiens Agenda by Becky Albertalli 7/10 Both the movie and the book were good, with all the drama and heartache of 1) being a teenager and 2) coming out to the people around him. Very poignant and emotional. Didn’t give it a higher rating just cause it wasn’t super memorable to me? But then again, that’s cause I’m a twenty-something woman and not a teenage gay boy so while it was beautifully written and definitely a very important book, it just wasn’t one of my faves.

Lilac Girls by Martha Hall Kelly 7/10 More women in WWII! Now with all this boss historical fiction coming out I can definitely see why guys are so obsessed with WWII. Then again, I think I would be obsessed with any stories detailing how badass women are during the war. It covers stories from all sides of the war - including the Nazis - and makes it seem so much more real. I started reading the sequel but it wasn’t quite as interesting.

The Diviners by Libba Bray 8/10 A fun fantasy mystery set in 1920′s New York! With ghosts and demons and magic powers and flappers! I really enjoyed it and am currently working on the sequel. The jargon is what really gets me like it’s so Great Gatsby but better. Would recommend.

Shatter Me by Tahereh Mafi 7/10 A patient recommended this to me. It’s about a girl imprisoned because she has powers and that is Dangerous. It’s of course a post-apocalyptic military state situation, and she’s trying to escape and low key start an uprising. A really good story with a really interesting voice to the main character. Like, this writing style was SO DIFFERENT and amazing, I’ve never read anything like it. I didn’t continue the series just because the voice was SO good and in tune that it kinda stressed me out.

Time After Time by Lisa Grunwald 6/10 An A+ concept about a ghost in the New York subway and the man who loves her. It’s an interesting take on a lil paranormal romance. I loved the lore and the historical setting (it takes place in like, the 40′s) and really paints a fantastic scene!

Berserker by Emmy Laybourne 8/10 Listen, this book was not something historians will be talking about for years to come. But it’s about a family of siblings who have magic Nordic powers and have to escape Norway and come to the US (which is in prime Old West time) to find their uncle. And they meet a COWBOY. It’s a story about family and love and also occasionally killing people because you have the blood of Odin or some shit and honestly? Catered directly to me.

Truly Devious by Maureen Johnson 8/10 A fun and cool murder mystery set in a special fancy boarding school. Maureen Johnson has been one of my faves for a long time and she did not disappoint with this! It’s about a girl obsessed with a murder at the school, and she transfers in so she can solve it. And the TWIST at the END? Great!

An Ember in the Ashes / A Torch Against the Night / A Reaper at the Gates by Sabaa Tahir 9/10 Another 9 because I can’t bring myself to give a 10, though if anything this series would get it. The voices that Tahir writes with are INCREDIBLE and the story is nuanced and compelling and so good. It’s about a teenager trying to save her brother from prison, as well as a guy graduating from assassin school. I don’t wanna say too much cause I don’t want to spoil if anyone reads it but tbh if you only pick one series PICK THIS ONE. If you like fantasy and stuff of course.

The Huntress by Kate Quinn 8/10 Listen. Mystery solving New York girl, post war. Men hunting former Nazis. Bicon Russian girl who was in the Russian Air force. Do I really need to say more? A phenomenal story that takes place before, during, and after WWII, and the wide variety of stories happening during that time. Great if you love historical fiction!

Sourdough by Robin Sloan 8/10 Just like Berserker this book probably isn’t something they’re gonna teach in English classes. But it’s about a girl who works in robotics on proprioception (!!!) and then?? Starts baking bread??? AKA everything I love in life so, you know, once again a book catering specifically to me.

Magnus Chase and the Sword of Summer by Rick Riorden 7/10 As always, Riorden delivers a phenomenal story with phenomenal characters. And it includes populations that aren’t often the main characters in literature - a homeless teen and a Muslim teen, to name two. I haven’t continued the series just cause I got distracted with other things, but I totally want to.

I’m Not Dying with You Tonight by Kimberly Jones 7/10 A grand adventure that takes place over the course of one night in Atlanta. When a riot breaks out, two girls who haven’t spoken or really know each other are pushed together and spend the rest of the night trying to survive and make it home. It demonstrates two sides of life, and how they’re the same and how they’re different. I listened to the audiobook, which had phenomenal readers.

The Gentleman’s Guide to Vice and Virtue by Mackenzi Lee 8/10 A story about a spoiled rich bi boy who’s going on one final tour of Europe before he has to settle down and run his family’s estate. His best friend and his sister are with him, and of course everything goes to hell in a handbasket. But it’s a crazy journey and an excellent coming of age story.

In The Woods / The Likeness by Tana French 8/10 AMAZING murder mysteries! The first is about the murder of a kid in Ireland, and the toll it takes on the investigators and people around them. It has an amazing twist at the end, and even though it takes a while for them to solve the murder, it never gets boring. Same with the second one! It’s a crazy situation that would never happen in real life, but she writes it SO WELL that i don’t even care! I will probably skip the third one cause it’s about a character I don’t really like and also takes place in the past before all of this, but I do want to continue reading these!

Stay Sexy and Don’t Get Murdered by Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark 8/10 A great book of essays written by the voices behind “My Favorite Murder,” which is a hilarious and semi-informative true crime podcast. But they talk about more than just true crime in the book - in fact, it’s more about things that they’ve learned throughout their crazy lives. Super eye opening and also really entertaining, and I actually listened to it before I even listened to the podcast, so I feel like that’s saying something!

[serenity-sweet13]

Gotham S2E21

SERIOUSLY NO BRIDGIT THIS IS NOT RIGHT HER STORY CANNOT GO THIS WAY! I CRIED FOR HER ENOUGH ALREADY! IT’S FROM TOO MUCH SAILOR MOON AS A CHILD! TEENAGE GIRLS WITH TRAGIC STORIES JUST RIP MY GODDAMN HEART OUT AND SQUISH IT WITH THEIR BIG GODDAMN FIREPROOF BOOTS!

Also, they used to call me fireproof.

Selina. Learn from Sanosuke Sagara. Just bum rush her and tackle her to the fucking ground. It’s better to just... Yep. Just attack and get burned a little than to dodge around and get burned a lot.

Please tell me they get Bridgit out of there. She’s just a little girl.

Oh motherfuck. Ivy gives me the goddamn creeps. But, where there’s an Ivy, there’s a Harley, right? Somebody, seriously, get Ivy some help. Some palak paneer or something? That’s veggie, right?

Oh god they’re letting Harvey give a fucking press conference. He is so done with this shit. He is the Uncle Friend. And he does not want to be fucking in charge! AT ALL! EVER! He needs to not. He NEEDS to not!

And there goes Jim while Harvey argues with a pile of file folders.

Bruce. Oh Bruce. And there’s all the evidence Jim needs.

Stop letting Harvey give press conferences. He sounds like a fifth-grader who just discovered what the fuck a thesaurus is.

Ms. Peabody has had enough of this shit too. Also BD Wong sounds a lot like George Takei and it is unnerving. Of course her name is fucking Ethel. Only--- GODDAMMIT I KNEW FISH WOULD COME BACK! I KNEW IT KNEW IT KNEW IT!!!!

“And what’s worse! You’ve put Nala in danger!” OH GOD ALFRED’S GIVING HIM THE MUFASA SPEECH.

Gotta love Lucius Fox. He’s so fucking calm about literally all of this shit. He’s just “okay, here’s solutions A, B, and C.” Lucius Fox has totally got this shit.

Oh god ChaGood Little Shit Bruce.

They need fucking Westley to plan their castle onslaught. What I wouldn’t give for a holocaust cloak.

HOW IS HER MAKEUP STILL MOTHERFUCKING PERFECT!? Of course her makeup is still motherfucking perfect. I just fucking love Fish Mooney. I dunno why. I just fucking love her.

Oh jeez Ed. Screaming isn’t fucking helping. ... this entire situation is batfuck bananas. Yes, they’re making fucking monsters in the basement. That definitely needs to stop. Yes. Stop the monster factory. And if you and Jim would just sit down and NOT BE FUCKTARDS...

Alfred... oh Alfred. THIS IS KILLING ME! I AM SO DEAD! Yep, Thomas Wayne would be going “Hey, Martha? I’m about to go help our son be a lifesaving badass. You have yourself a nice wine-thirty and we’ll be home when we’ve saved Selina! We’ll order a pizza or something.”

Goddammit. I have fucking had it with fucking catsuits. Why in the blue bloody fucking hell do they have to stick every single woman in a goddamn superhero franchise in a stupid fucking catsuit.

FISH MOONEY FUCKING REMEMBERS. BECAUSE OF FUCKING COURSE SHE DOES! Loooooooooove me some Fish Mooney! you just gotta love Fish Mooney. Butch is gonna have a goddamn fucking heart attack. Oswald is just gonna fucking die.

“Tell me where is Gandalf for I much desire to speak with him” - yep, now I have the “THEY’RE TAKING THE HOBBITS TO ISENGARD” song stuck in my head.

Bruce... okay, you’re a little shit who looks good in a turtleneck. Now shake the motherfucker’s hand because you weren’t raised by wild animals.

Oh god Lucius Fox and Ethel Peabody. And Jim is in the motherfuckin trunk. Because of course he is. This is just absolutely fucking priceless.

Right, Jim, because this is the least believable ruse in human history. You and Ed really DO need to sit down and have a beer or something.

Okay, the bodily-expressive creativity I am seeing among the Arkham inmates is astonishing.

That is a fucking Teavana tea set. I saw those pieces every fucking time I went to Lenox. Prop team, do better!

Trepanning can actually still work. It’s an extreme measure, but under certain circumstances - like a traumatic brain injury or hydrocephalus - surgeons can perform the procedure to relieve pressure. Y’all may want to check out Dr. Lindsey Fitzharris’s book “The Butchering Art”.

Oh, you go Ed! that arrow is gonna save lives.

OH STRANGE YOU DONE FUUUUUUUCKED UP NOW.

Bruce... your dad wasn’t fighting when he died. He was walking down the street with his wife and son.

BRUCE YOU STUPID LITTLE SHIT. YOU JUST GAVE AWAY HER POSITION!!! OH YOU TWO DUMB LITTLE SHITS! YOU GOOD, LOVING, DUMB LITTLE SHITS! Also, seriously? Selina? You might want to knock her back out just for transport.

LOOOOOOOVE FISH MOONEY!!! Oh, she’s boutta FUCK SHIT UP!!! I feel kinda bad for this guy. Look, man, just go get her the damn grilled cheese. Yep, go do that. When you want a grilled cheese, nothing else will do.

Stephen Strange would fucking end Howard Strange. Like, with a crowbar, not sorcery.

Oh god videos with Halloween masks now? What the fuck is this, Criminal Minds!?

Dude... YOU didn’t make Fish Mooney come back that way. She’s just TOO STRONG. SHE IS TOO STRONG!

Yep, he brought her a grilled cheese. I like this dude. I want a grilled cheese now. Fuck. MOTHERFUCKER WHATCHU MEAN WHY HE MAKE YOU A SANDWICH!?! Eat your sandwich!

Uh, Selina? You gonna run out of fuel, baby girl. Oh god, they both have flamethrowers. YES SELINA YOU HELP FIX YOUR BEAUTIFUL WONDERFUL FRIEND YES SHE REMEMBERS SHE’S TRYING YES!! YES YOU SET YOUR SHITBAG HALF BROTHERS ON FIRE! IT WAS AMAZING! FUUUUUUCK NO NOT AGAIN. MOTHERFUCKER SHE’S ON FIRE.

fire cannot kill a dragon. Goddamn.

Go you, Selina. Way to play along with a fucking schizoid delusion. Please let this work. Just get her on the outside, get her outta that suit.

Oh god this is why Harvey needs to not be in charge. Fuck, here comes Alfred. Oh god Harvey. YAAAAAAS YOU PUDGY IRISH QUEEN! CALL OUT THE RANKS!

Goddammit Ed. Just... goddammit Ed. Somebody needs to just slap this nut upside the head. I volunteer.

Oh god no Jim does not need motherfuckin superpowers. Is that barium? Oh fuck. That’s not fucking good.

Crikey Ed. Just. Yeah, he did need to be called out for the turtleneck. Ed, do those nozzles even fucking work? Lucius... please do not. Yeah, Ed, I would not trust any of that equipment to actually work. You’re probably being set up again.

CRIKEY HE DOES SOUND LIKE GEORGE TAKEI!!

No. We do not want to see.

THAT IS NOT HOW EVOLUTION WORKS! Man, Kenshin was right - the world is full of X-Men rejects! First Hannya, the Hyottoko, then Shishio and Anji and the Juppongatana... now this lot. What even. What the fuck.

Jesus Christ Ed. Why don’t you just take up jigsaw puzzles or something. No, wait, do no take up jigsaw anything.

And the girls are gonna free Fish. Yes. This is what we need on Gotham right now. A pissed-off girl squad.

No, Jim needs hair. He looks weird. EW NO THAT’S NOT BETTER! THEY LINDSAY LOHAN’D THAT SHIT! Oh blue motherfucking no. Harvey’s gonna see right through this bullshit.

[kelmcdonald]

Misfits of Avalon Writer Notes Chapter 18

New Post has been published on http://sorcery101.net/news/misfits-of-avalon-writer-notes-chapter-18/

Misfits of Avalon Writer Notes Chapter 18

page 105 – 111

I wanted to address that Rae can’t follow through on her lies. She is sneaking out mostly so she can stall and then figure out something to say that is true but misleading. I also had Morgan be the one that sorta connects with Rae because since she never trusted Rae she would be the least hurt by Rae’s true nature coming out.

Also Rae’s mom trying to call her is supposed to be one last dig at Morgan’s lack of support system. Also much like earlier when Elsie didn’t react to yelling, I figure Morgan’s comment that no one smiles as much as Rae reveals more about her than she thinks.   And Rae mentioning how closed off Morgan is kinda a hint of want happens in the next seen.

page 112 – 121

Morgan’s been guarded this whole book and when this is when she is pushed the most to talk about herself. Her emotions are all damned up and her getting pushed like has them all burst out at once. Her and Elsie coming to blows is because Elsie is the one who has the least reason to leave and also the one who would want Morgan to stay the most. I also had Billy be unconscious for all this because I did want even a hint of Morgan staying for looooooove.

This is also the only time Morgan cries in the book because she opened up for once. I wanted this conversation to have space to breath and scattered some silent panels through out it. Her shouting and being exposed like that isn’t the norm for her so everyone is not quite sure how to respond.

page 122 – 124

I wanted Morgan to think over her decision to leave and be alone for awhile. Times like this are why I decided to have the thought captions from each character.

page 125 – 128

This scene I wanted to show that Morgan’s dad isn’t bad all the time and sorta tries. But he has his own serious depression we aren’t seeing since it’s not his story. He can barely manage to take care of himself never mind a teenager. It’s kinda how their attempts to connect never meet up or happen at the same time. I thought it would be too easy to just paint him entirely with a bad brush. I wanted their relationship to be more complicated than that. There last scene together I wanted to end on a sad note that makes it clear why she still left.

Page 129 – 134

This whole ritual’s and the comments the girls have on it are just pulling at details that work in a medieval looking setting but in modern times are more questionable, specially Rae mentioning not wanting to catch anything from sharing a knife they all cut themselves with. I like Rae flinching as Elsie takes the knife.

The spell is in Gaelic/Irish. I’m fairly certain there are some serious errors in it cause I used google translate. All the spells in Misfits of Avalon are in Irish but most are translate to things like Fire Blade so grammar isn’t super key. This is the longest bit I had to figure out.

I liked the magic words wrapping around the girls as Cu says them. It’s more visually interesting that way I think. I always try to find ways to do something more interesting with lettering that doesn’t get in the way of the storytelling. I hand letter so I want to take full advantage of that.

page 135 – 137

This bit with Billy I tried to pull panel layouts similar to other conversations Billy and Morgan had and combine them with panels from Morgan’s dream. Because it is wanted people to subconsciously think of both those moments.

page 138 – 144

This is the fight that is the most urgent fight they have. I wanted each role they play to reflect their role in the whole the comic. So like Morgan and Elsie take the more brute force side and are the most focused on Billy. Kimber figures out what is going on. And Rae stays safe and seperate from the rest of them. I was in a bit of a deadline crunch during this. I kinda wish I could’ve maybe pushed the action a little more.

page 145 – 149

We get a little bit of a wrap up on their thoughts on the rings. Rae’s refusing to help is  a bit of she has already been found out so she doesn’t feel the need to keep up pretense. Her actions are being more honest like her words. I also wanted to focus the most on Morgan when they take off their rings because she was the one who didn’t want the ring. I wanted to give her a calm relief moment. And then the other end is how petty Rae is about returning the ring.

page 150 – 158

I wanted to have a calmer moment while they watch the tree burn before starting their goodbyes. This scene maybe would have worked better in color. Morgan leaving is because in the whole story she doesn’t have a lot of power. Yes she gets superpowers but most of the things that make her life rough are things she doesn’t have control over. She can’t fix her dad’s alcoholism and depression. She can’t somehow make her absentee mom come back. She can’t fix her and her dad’s finical problems. She is in a place in her life where she is old enough to be aware of her circumstance but not old enough to take control of it in anyway. It’s an experience that is very connected to being a teenager in my mind and it is very frustrating. So Morgan getting the choice to leave society is her getting some control she has never had before. And it’s a type of control she wouldn’t be able to get until she legally an adult.

Kimber’s good-bye to Morgan is still focused on sorta the fantasy of things. I wanted to show that is where her mind is and always ha been. Only when Billy might die does she not treat the story she is in like a story. Then Rae’s good-bye is short and kinda hostile because both parties don’t care about each other. It’s also a more honest interaction Rae has had in most of the book.

Morgan and Billy’s good-bye I started close because it’s more intimate and then pull out when Billy starts to put emotional distance between them with a joke. I ended with them in a background and border free panel because their goodbye for a moment feels like it is just them.

Elsie’s anger and denial about Morgan leaving is reflecting their whole relationship. When ever Elsie lashes out at Morgan it’s when Morgan puts up a barrier to their friendship. Her leaving is the last big wall. But that hostility falls apart when she sees Morgan is really leaving. Then she has the biggest goodbye and the most emotional. After the hug there aren’t any other people in the panels. Like with her goodbye to Billy, this needs to be the just them. And for a similar reason it ends with the background and borderless panel.

The last page is to just end on a big of a goofy note to cut the tension a bit. I wanted to linger on Elsie’s feelings.

Anyway, thats a wrap for Misfits of Avalon. It was my first book working with a publisher and I think I learned a lot while making it. I think if I were to redo it, I think I would have done more planning. It very quickly went from a vague idea aka magical girls that were jerks to the finished project. There are a few bits I think I could have pushed more and made clearer. I do like this length more than Sorcery 101’s length. It was easier to manage but still felt substantial to me. With that in mind I think maybe I should have written the whole thing at once, cause like Kimber isn’t as clearly younger than everyone else in the beginning. The point was to make some “unlikable” female characters in the same way male characters get to be unlikable. That makes it not for everyone and I could have maybe tightened it in a few parts. I’m gonna take what I learned to the next project I’m doing.

[hurglewurm]

12.07.17 get ready I saw falsettos in theatres

it’s always fun being in a theatre mostly full of teenage girls, young gay men, and old couples, (and me and my mum), and just crying a whole bunch. collectively. as a group. anyway below are some chronologically segmented thoughts on this experience™ warning it’s long

“four jews” was so good, so bouncy, so happy. I love my kids. To Be Honest I was already crying a bit tho from the start just with the. uh. knowledge of what is to come

by “tight-knit family” christian borle was Already sweating and honestly, same

in “love is blind”: 

the “daddy’s kissing boys” kiss was SEEN and REMEMBERED because BOY HOWDY they MADE OUT

and before that happened andrew did an eyebrow waggle?? and a “come hither” crooked finger beckoning marvin near??? help??

“but so am IIIIIIIIIIII” I love brandon uranowitz, I love mendel

I watched andrew rannells as he did the “ah-ah” and he was a FLAWLESS boy, thank you camera crew for giving this to me

“the thrill of first love”

was so much more??? sexual??????? than I’ve ever seen it be??? andrew rannells put your tongue bACK in your mouth, oh my god

they. were. PALPABLE. that is all I can say

their little bickering and random spurts of dialogue were cute tho. like after The Kiss, whizzer said “that’s all you get” and I was like lmao my boy

legit I’m not joking about how steamy it was like they were mouth to mouth breathing the same air by the last “LOOOOOOOVE” and I was sweating

in “marvin at the psychiatrist” anthony rosenthal is the purest boy, best boy, absolutely flawless, KILLED IT YALL HE DID THAT. VERY PROUD

in “everyone tells jason to see a psychiatrist” 

whizzer stared at marvin for sO LONG after the flick. 

also can I just mention? andrew rannells? as whizzer? loves jason so much, and you can really tell

in “this had better come to a stop” the fluidity with which andrew rannells delivers his L’s in “late for dinner late again” is just incredible honestly, never fails to impress

“I’m breaking down” 

was the first song where the cinema audience clapped really hard along with the filmed audience. 

yall sjb killed it, she killed me, it was amazing. 

she d e s e c r a t e d that banana

“please come to our house”:

“hello to my house, so good of you to travel on account of my unraveling now let’s eat some food” anthony rosenthal’s fake smile was so on point during the delivery of this entire line and I was like. my boy

“I’ll wait for yoouuuuuuuuuuuuuu” trina held that note for SO long as she left the room, smiling shyly at mendel, and it was cUTE

“a marriage proposal”:

I LOVE MY PARENTS AND THEY LOVE EACH OTHER GOD BLESS

“I’m… not a giant man” “good” AAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

THEY CONTINUE KISSING EVEN AS MARVIN STARTS SINGING OVER ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE STAGE AND THEN THEY HUG THIS IS V IMPORTANT INFORMATION

“a tight-knit family reprise”:

mendel is so??? happy???? marvin pls let him live

“king of the losers” “at eighty an hour” the camera man was just ON MENDEL like. yes my boy deliver it

“I just got a family” “the family was mine” still fuckin gets me. damn. mendel is so happy and just?? full of bliss at his new life??? and marvin is so… act one marvin… you get me

“march of the falsettos”: 

Excellent

bran uran’s voice sounded so strained my poor boy

whizzer: “stop pulling my shorts!” marvin: “they’re so hard to take off!” oh my god

whizzer screaming into the void for the blocks to be thrown up like: “hit me! another one!” 

the finger thing with marvin and whizzer? yeah that happened. they both gasped in fear

“the chess game”

bitch it was t e n s e

idk andrew rannells made the choice to call marvin “man” a whole bunch in this production and??? ok

after marvin storms off, whizzer is like “mARVIN” still in that growly voice from the last “life’s a sham” (nice) and he starts to say “it was just a g—” and then he sees marvin and goes. quiet

also from midway through this song until the end of act one, andrew rannells has this big Curl of Messy Hair in the middle of his forehead and I’m sorry but it was a blessed sight

“making a home”

hi the little zooms on whizzer? unpacking his suitcase in the corner? being sad? broke my heart, thanks

“could he love me?” the angle of the shot had happy mendel in front and whizzer kind of behind him off to the side and stop this, camera crew, stop

for “the games I play” I have no words. andrew did so good. so good. he was so sad. and he hIT those high notes yES boy. the audience clapped a bit after this one

“marvin hits trina”

he just barges into their house and starts yelling and tears up their wedding invitation like holy fuck marvin, what is ur damage

“I am so dumb.” and there is the longest silence as he walks all the way around before he starts his Lil Rampage

the actual Hit was p quiet but that’s what makes it all the more poignant, because you can hear trina’s little cry of shock and pain, and it takes her a second to bring a hand up to her cheek

after the Hit someone behind me in the audience just. let out an audible breath, like the wind got knocked out of them, and I was like. same bitch

“I never wanted to love you”

EVERYONE. ON STAGE. WAS CRYING. 

the mood of this musical changes so quickly when it gets to this song and it’s. Good. like it cleaves my heart in twain don’t think it doesn’t but it’s. good

trina needs a fucking hug (and mendel is going to give her 20)

“how do I start… not to love you” FUCK

whenever marvin looks at jason tbh my heart hurts bye. which bRINGS US TO

“father to son”

the pure adoration and faint amusement on marvin’s face as his son is all like “I think… girls are” like it’s so cUTE

near the end as marvin was singing about love the camera just showed us whizzer? sitting alone in the dark? leaning his head on a corner of the Cube™? how dare you

anyway christian borle was crying and so was I

act two time because there was no intermission which was…  not great to be honest oops

“falsettoland”

bran uran had little glow sticks in each hand and at “homosexuals” he just pointed at the audience and the music stalled as he just waved about at them like “YALL ARE ALL GAY JUST TAKE IT”

“and a teeny tiny band” a bunch of little paper cutouts of the band rose up from the Band Area Void and bran uran did a little dance to incite people to love and cherish the band (always love and cherish the band guys they’re so good they do such a good job)

“nancy reagan” andrew slapped the blow up doll so hard lmao

“spiky lesbians” EVERYONE CHEERED AND I WAS LIKE DAMN RIGHT

in “about time” marvin holds jason close and is like “as mature as my son who is tHIS TALL!! that’s all!!” and you really can see… just how much he’s changed, my boy,

“year of the child”:

anthony rosenthal is the cutest kid alive

his little dance between his parents as they’re all like “my chiiiiild” is. just. incredible

“I’ll bring women from the wrong side of the tracks” mendel says out of the corner of his mouth, as he tucks jason under his arm and leads him away, like a bad influence

“the baseball game”

when whizzer first appeared and marvin was all “what is he doing here??” he hid behind charlotte while simultaneously trying to get a good look at whizzer and it was. adorable

whenever marvin touched whizzer’s hair, whizzer couldn’t keep the smile off his face. I’m deceased

“how would I know… without him… my life would be flat as a lake” ok but who is responsible for this lmao

“would it be possible to see you or to…......... kiss you” BASHFUL MARVIN I REPEAT BASHFUL MARVIN

“a day in falsettoland”

“yEEEESSS IiiIiiIII dOOOooOoO” u already know it was perfect, I don’t need to tell you

charlotte pulled cordelia in with the apron and their part of the stage went dark but they kissed, they did, saw it with my own two gay little eyes

“what more can I say”

TOO… SOFT… HELP

andrew had his leggy out

before whizzer rolled over he?? gave marvin a lil kiss on the cheek? it was really audible????? I’m???

when marvin looked under the sheet, instead of his customary simple eyebrow waggle, this man Dared to laugh in delight along with the audience like “yes I love this boy he is mine and I am his and that’s incredible”

ALSO AT THE END when they both just cuddle into each other they… kissed each other’s faces a bunch… h e lp me

“something bad is happening”

charlotte is so upset and I am upset because hERE WE GO

“more racquetball”

the costume department is full of geniuses tbh like the loosening of whizzer’s costume? genuinely just looked like the poor man had lost a bunch of weight

he fell so hard and abruptly and something in me fell with him

“I’m sorry” HIS FACE CRUMPLED AND HE STARTED CRYING

“days like this”

someone forgot to turn on andrew’s mic at the beginning so his mouth said “good morning” but you couldn’t hear it

“kid you’re looking very good today” whizzer just gives a self-deprecating smile and he. he Knows. 

cordelia’s laugh is the cutest thing I’ve ever heard in my life

“I’ll let you win, whizzer” “don’t let me win…” “I’ll let you win” I’m really upset, whizzer looked so… wrecked

at the end of “cancelling the bar mitzvah” mendel’s fucking “why don’t we tell him that we don’t have the answers” whole thing got me w r e c k e d. he says those lines like a man who knows how awful it is, but he knows how true it is, and he’s helpless to stop it

“unlikely lovers”

“marvin? did you hear what I said?” they were both crying, you could hear the tears in andrew’s voice, and christian borle kept… sobbing… between his lines… 

like when marvin stopped singing and cordelia/charlotte were at the door he just had to crumple for a moment and just lie there shaking?? a broken man?? just to recuperate for the next bit of the song? kill me

the way marvin looks people in the eye and just says “I love you” with the softest voice. god

so “something bad is happening reprise”: charlotte sang this directly to marvin, a steadying hand on his elbow, peering into his eyes past her own film of tears to make sure he understands what she’s saying. and he does. and he just turns away and walks off

“you gotta die sometime”

when he swung his legs out of bed his voice broke from the effort

he got really choked up after the second verse and he was openly crying by the end of it (still killed it tho, my boy)

this is my favourite song but I can’t watch anyone sing it ever

“jason’s bar mitzvah”

jason rushes in, bubbly and cheerful, and andrew is still fucking sobbing and it takes him a while to come down from it and everything hurts

“don’t know why, but he looks… like marvin” fucking crying already and then there’s a little pause, jason is really agitated, and marvin just whispered something like “hey you got this” and I WEPT

marvin kissed jason’s head. he loves this boy so much

whizzer also kissed jason’s head??? jason has so many dads who all love him so much

whizzer’s “thank you” was just a whisper but it rang through the theatre and then it was so quiet. I could not breathe in the space after whizzer’s final line. (I mean I was sobbing but I was real quiet about it)

“what would I do”

andrew was crying, christian was crying, I was crying, it was beautiful tho

whizzer just walks out in his pristine white shirt and it’s. it’s poignant. it’s such a stark contrast from the last time we saw him, it hits really hard

“I’d like to believe that I’d do it again and again and again” the crescendo that christian puts in these lines leading to that really Powerful last “again” shakes me to my fucking core (and yeah, makes me cry, you guessed it)

“we’re just gonna skip that stage” it sounded like it hurt to say that. it hurt to hear it too

just in general there’s this softness to christian borle’s voice when it’s live that’s not really there in the cast recording but it’s really, really beautiful

whizzer gives him one last, sad, little smile before the lights change

there were three men sitting beside me and my mother and they were all sobbing

“falsettoland reprise”

marvin buried his face in his hands for most of this, but there were moments where he didn’t, where he tried to be strong in the face of his loss. he couldn’t do it anymore once they put the gravestone down. 

to be honest i could barely see jason put the chess piece down because everything was too blurry from my tears

as my mother put it, “there was no catharsis at the end. it was really, really sad. but it was realistic about that, about death, and love, and everything.”

20000000/10 would watch again, please release a dvd