#i look incredible though. ive been out in the rain for 3 hours and i feel like an actual drowned corpse but somehow

[hexjulia]

prettiest girl in the grocery store has every disease, disorder

[thepixiediaries]

🌧️ <- for the drabble thing!

rain is one of my favorite things <3

Send me emoji(s) and I'll write a drabble: 🌧️ Rainy day activities

thank u soooo much for requesting this && sorry for how long this took!! i was writing for a solid couple hours and before i knew it, this 'drabble' had basically turned into a flash fic hehe

these characters are from an as of yet unnamed steampunk fantasy wip ive been working on! its not particularly connected to the main story but i could see it being a short story/novella about them later on in the story. hope u enjoy <3

The sudden change in weather was a disappointment to Mitja. It wasn’t that he spent a lot of time outdoors but he did appreciate coming outside and being greeted with sunshine after being cooped up for however many hours he spent researching in his library, accompanied only by flickering candlelight.

Mitja was a man of routine. But while he was disappointed, this new weather didn’t particularly disturb him as it just meant he shifted that routine to accommodate the rain. As usual, he spent his time tucked into the armchair by the fireplace with a book in his hands.

On this particular rainy day however, Mitja was experiencing something highly unusual in the vein of an unexpected visitor. Nikolai had shown up on Mitja’s doorstep, completely soaked. Apparently, he had been caught out in the rain and needed to find shelter while the storm passed over.

Not wanting him to catch cold, Mitja had offered Nikolai a bath. So now, Mitja was not just reading but in fact, waiting for Nikolai. As he heard the familiar plodding of Nikolai’s footsteps behind him, Mitja closed his book and placed it beside him. He turned around to ask how Nikolai was feeling before stopping at the sight of him.

“Why aren’t you wearing any clothes?” Mitja squeaked out, overwhelmed by the sight of Nikolai’s bare torso. The small towel wrapped around his neck did a pitiful job of covering the vast expanse of his upper body. Another, thankfully larger, towel hung dangerously low on his hips, forcing Mitja to look elsewhere.

The wound on his shoulder caught Mitja’s attention. Even though it was partially obscured, Mitja was intimately familiar with the shape of it. Three bullets had passed through the skin there. Nikolai was infinitesimally fortunate that none of them had pierced bone. Mitja often thanked the gods that he had been there to give him emergency care. As a result of what Nikolai liked to playfully call his “magic touch,” the wound had healed nicely. The newly-formed scar was pale in colour, contrasting starkly with his brown skin — a haunting reminder of what had transpired.

“Didn’t fit.” Nikolai answered, his voice gruff. For a moment, Mitja was confused at Nikolai’s interjection. Mitja’s thorough examination of Nikolai’s exposed body had forced his original question out of his mind. Recalling what he had originally asked, Mitja felt even more embarrassed at his shameful mind. Of course none of Mitja’s spare clothes fit Nikolai — he was built like Laocoon, sculpted in marble. Blood rushed to his cheeks as he thought about how Nikolai stood a whole head taller than him.

There was no denying that Nikolai flustered him. It was incredibly obvious from the way his body instinctually responded to his presence — and if the arrogant smirk plastered on Nikolai’s face was anything to go by, Nikolai noticed it as well. Mitja would never admit this fact out loud, if only to keep Nikolai’s considerable ego in check. In response to his knowing smirk, Mitja huffed, turning his head away in an act of play-defiance. It was a farce of course, because Mitja’s eyes stayed trained on Nikolai, looking up at him from under his eyelashes.

He had moved on from gloating and was busy drying his hair with the towel around his neck. Well, trying to, anyway. It became apparent to Mitja that the reason Nikolai was struggling was because he was avoiding using his injured arm. His heart twinged.

“Let me do it.” The words rushed out of Mitja’s mouth before he could stop himself. Nikolai cocked his head to one side, urging Mitja to elaborate. The action was so adorable, Mitja wanted to scream.

“Let me dry your hair.”

Mitja expected the ever-prideful Nikolai to protest but he surprised him by handing the towel over and plopping down in front of Mitja’s armchair without a single word.

Mitja smiled. Small victories. It felt good to be relied on.

He liked this, taking care of other people. Especially when it was a person like Nikolai, who rarely showed any vulnerability, even when he was in grave danger. It was comforting to know that inside the beast that was Nikolai Volkov, there was a human being — all soft and squishy.

Mitja thought the heat of Nikolai between his legs would be distracting but the monotonous rhythm he adopted when drying his hair soothed him. The repetitive motion allowed his mind to wander. He thought about the sheen of Nikolai’s silver hair — a bold declaration of his heritage. It reminded him of his own hair, dyed the most unremarkably dull brown he could find, and of the silvery roots that had begun to appear at the base of his head. Ever since he saw Nikolai so brazenly display that mark of his — of their — community, Mitja had begun to think that perhaps it was time for him to grow out his own hair.

Mitja paused mid-motion when he heard Nikolai let out a drawn out groan.

“Sorry, did that hurt?” Mitja asked, voice laced with concern and a sliver of guilt. He was a nurse, for gods’ sake, hurting people was the last thing he wanted. “I can stop if you’d like.”

“No, no.” Nikolai shook his head, then rested it on Mitja’s inner thigh.

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, yeah. I… I like it when you do that.”

Struck by the sincerity in Nikolai’s words, it took a couple of seconds before Mitja resumed his ministrations, massaging Nikolai’s temple with the towel.

Mitja did not usually like the rain. But as Nikolai leaned into his touch, making small contented noises, he thanked the gods for sending this most fortuitous rain to him. And if he was being completely honest, for sending this man into his life.

[pbandjesse]

It was incredibly stormy today. Like the wind was so bad. We are still under a coastal flood warning because it has been storming so much. This changed my plans for the day but I still had a good time.

I didn't sleep great. I woke up pretty exhausted. James told me to just take care of myself. They had made me some really excellent pancakes, but I could take care of myself.

I got up and washed and dressed but it was very cold and I am glad I have so many sweatshirts right now. I would pull the bed out so I could pull out more of my winter gear. But I would eat my pancakes and get to work.

I was supposed to have two meetings today but the weather was so bad, rain just coming down in buckets and wind trying to knock our fire escape door in, that both were canceled. School in the county was even canceled! Wild. So I had more time to do my styling and some cleaning. I got the apartment ready for James's cousin to come over. I vacuumed and changed the kitty litter and did some small chores. I had been planning to leave at 1130 originally but I wouldn't have to leave until 2 now so I would read in bed and watch the wind.

I made a pretty terrible frozen pizza for lunch. And I would leave around 2. I got soaked just walking to the car and that was frustrating. But it was fine. I had an excellent drive out. I had good music and I have in a great mood.

I went to the dollar store first. I needed a small box so I went to get that and a few Christmas themed snacks. And nail polish. Which I am using right now. And then I went to the grocery store to get bread and flour and vanilla extract. I meant to buy tomato soup but I forgot. Not a big deal. I will pick some up soon.

I headed over to the museum and after checking in with Mike I went back to the educator room to work on the sorting of the type.

It took almost 2 and a half hours but I really did have a good time. I I found some hebrew letters and a star! It was neat! I listened to a podcast and sorted and listened to the rain.

Once I was done I had a donut and a yogurt and chilled for a bit before it was time to get ready for the wedding!

This was a fun one honestly. They were wearing kilts. They had bagpipes! It was clearly full of joy in a way I haven't exactly seen in the weddings Ive worked. Not that they weren't fun, this one specifically just felt so joyful. It was really nice.

I was in the print shop again. I made up cards for the couple, but then I got it in my head I should make save the dates. It took me almost a half hour to set up because some of the trays of type were missing numbers or letters I needed. So I ended up using 3 fonts. But I am so pleased. I would print off a bunch of those, some got messed up in transport but I think I did good and I am really proud of myself and the work.

I did not have many people come in. But the first couple that did was so lovely. I got to give my whole little speech and then we ended up just talking and the woman took my business card because she is looking for someone to illustrate the children's books she has written. And really we just had a lovely chat about art and being teachers. It was great.

I was mostly alone though and so I printed and enjoyed my night. Jess is in Disney and so I was texting her and it was fun. I like seeing what she is doing there.

Becca was working tonight too and she came and helped me clean up the ink so I didn't have to do it all. Very much appreciated her. We got all the text put away and the ink cleaned up and we got to go home a little early.

It was still raining, but I didn't have much trouble getting home. James is at the concert with their cousin so I got to be alone and I was happy about it. I love James, don't get me wrong, but I almost never get big chunks of time alone here and I just really need it sometimes.

I clean up and put things away. Opened the mail. Changed the filters on the fish tanks. Ate leftover fries. And took an exceptional shower. Now I am waiting for my nails to dry. And soon I will get in bed. I wont sleep until they are home, but that wont be to long.

Tomorrow we have the farmer's market and then I work another wedding. I hope it is a fun day.

Sleep well everyone. Take care of yourselves!! Goodnight!

[zevlors-tail]

Hi! Could i get a match up with any mha male character. I’m a female about 5’2 and ive got long straight hair. I’m not too shy like i still find it hard to talk to people but if im more comfortable im really talkative. I’m a capricorn. I am really impulsive I once woke up and decided to get three ear piercings. I’m a dancer that specializes in ballet and I love playing the piano and the violin. I also am really clingy and love to cuddle. For the autumn drabble could I get scary movies and rain

I’m SO sorry this took so long. Matchups are so hard for me to do and I was a little too ambitious with adding the drabbles at the end. ;w; Here it is! I hope you like it!

I match you with: Denki Kaminari!

-Maybe you sometimes find it hard to talk to people, but this boy is going to make it incredibly easy for you to feel comfortable with him. He just has that aura to him; it’s like you’re meeting up with a long lost friend you haven’t seen in ages when in reality you barely even know him. But he makes it feel like you’ve known each other since kindergarten, like you two were best friends your whole lives. You two are cozying up to each other in no time.

-Impulsive? PERFECT. Kaminari is that friend who will push you around in a shopping cart through the middle of the store on a dare you made 3 months ago that the two of you suddenly remembered. Honestly, you two wreck so much havoc with each other, even Mina struggles to keep up with your shenanigans. And anything you want to do? He supports it. You want 3 ear piercings? Go for it. Wanna get a tattoo while you’re at it? “Do ittttt!” Honestly, if you need someone to hold you back or keep you in line, don’t expect Denki to be that person. He’s gonna be the exact opposite. If you really need someone to keep you in check, make Bakugou tag along with you; he’s really the only one who can stop the both of you from destroying the whole city.

-Kaminari loves to watch you practice your dancing. He thinks you’re absolutely graceful and could watch you for hours at a time. He never gets tired of it. He gets mesmerized every time you move and wonders how you manage to make him feel like he’s lighter than air. He will 100% come to any and all of your shows if you have them, and will always support you no matter what. Catch him in the front row crying tears of joy because, “That’s my babe up there, that’s my Y/N!” He can and WILL drag the whole Bakusquad along btw. You’ll always have support from your friends. :)

-Also very supportive when it comes to your instruments! Listening to you play makes him very emotional, but in a good way. He could be sobbing while you practice and if you stop and ask him if he’s okay, he just chokes out “I’m fine, please continue!” and gives you his signature thumbs up. He looks anything but fine, although he’s telling the truth; he just wants to hear you play. Kaminari is an emotional guy, and he expresses it freely, so tears are natural. He also has favorites out of the songs he’s heard you play! Sometimes he might request a certain song if he hasn’t heard it in a while. Better yet, if you write him a song of your own or learn a new one in secret to surprise him, he will melt. You’re gonna kill him. No really, you’re going to make him feel so loved.

-Denki is also very clingy and cuddly, so you better prepare for koala hugs and lots of kisses and cuddles. It doesn’t matter if you’ve had the best day of your life, the worst day of your life, or if it was just an average ordinary day, you’ll still get cuddles every single night. And he gives really good ones too; the way he wraps his arms around you and holds you close to him makes you feel the safest you’ve ever felt, like nothing can touch you while you’re with him. He’s also a fan of playing with your hair and giving you head pats. Of course he likes them too, but he likes giving them to you much more than receiving them. The best feeling after a hard day is Denki running a hand through your hair to relax you while you snuggle into his arms.

Fall Drabble: Scary Movies/Rain

This drabble kind of got away from me so now it’s less of a drabble and more of a scenario but oh well-

Heavy rain swirled outside in the wind, water droplets sticking to the window and sliding down slowly as you listened to thunder rumble in the distance. Lightning accompanied it a fraction of a moment later, the flash of light illuminating the whole sky for half a second so you could see the gloomy clouds in full. You and Denki originally had plans to go to a fall festival of sorts, but the two of you had waited too long to get ready to go, and now (a whole half hour later no thanks to charge bolt himself) it was too late; there was no way either of you were going out in this. Even if Denki was immune to lightning, you were not, and the wind and rain both proved challenging foes to your clothes and hair. You would both look like a mess by the time you got there, if you hadn’t fried on the way there.

“Soooo, I guess we’re staying in for the day. No way we’re going to the festival in that,” you said dryly.

“I’m sure we can find other ways to pass the time, babe. We can always catch the festival tomorrow!” Ever the cheerful one, it seemed. That was something you really loved about Kaminari. No matter the situation, he was always willing to find the silver lining.

“I suppose you’re right. Well, what can we do in the mean time then?” you wondered aloud.

“No idea, but this storm sure is getting spooky...” Denki subconsciously scooted closer to you as the wind howled outside, a high pitched sound reverberating through the room as it picked up speed.

“Yeah...” 

You both went quiet, Denki’s focus on the storm outside while you thought of ways to pass the time. You would have invited the squad over to hang out, except this was supposed to be date night. You loved your friends, yes, but date night was special to you, and you weren’t exactly in the mood to share your boyfriend with anyone today. So friends were a no go...and you couldn’t go anywhere outside either. That only left a handful of activities. You looked around your room for something useful, anything exciting that you hadn’t already done today. Suddenly your eyes landed on an old ticket stub, namely the one from the very first movie you and Denki had seen together on your first date, and you were struck by an idea.

“Do you wanna watch a movie?”

And that was how the two of you ended up laying on the floor a half hour later, a giant blanket draped over your shoulders and pillows in front of you, popcorn pieces strewn about and cans of soda off to the side as a horror movie played in the background. It had been a while since either of you had seen a proper scary movie, so you agreed on one you hadn’t watched before and started it up without a second thought. The rain in the background helped to enhance the spooky mood for the night, a different sort of darkness seeping in and washing over the room after the lights had been turned off.

A jump scare startled you both a little, causing Kaminari to bump into you gently. You dropped a few pieces of popcorn, and your boyfriend couldn’t keep himself from poking fun at you.

“If you’re scared, Y/N, you can always hold my hand!” He gave you a wide grin and giggled, his tone teasing yet lighthearted. He could never truly give you crap about being spooked by a scary movie, especially when he had been startled himself.

“We’re already holding hands, you goofball!” You nudged him playfully and laughed with him, lightening the mood a bit after the jump scare. Eventually you both returned to watching the movie, your fingers lacing into his as you held hands still.

Fifteen minutes had gone by before the storm really started to pick up outside, wind howling relentlessly and rain pelting against your roof. You and Kaminari were so engrossed in the suspense of the movie that you didn’t notice anything at first; the woman in the film crept closer and closer to the basement door, pitch black coming from open entrance, and the both of you huddled close together as you watched in suspense for something to jump out from the darkness. Suddenly something hard fell against your roof with a loud Thump! followed by several other similar sounding noises, and you and Denki whipped around to look behind you for a culprit, spooked by the horror movie and the strange noise you had just heard. Just as you were about to ask him if he also thought that was hail, the TV shut off unexpectedly with a soft powering down noise, and the both of you were left in complete and total darkness as the storm raged on outside.

“Denki?” It was hard not to notice the tremble in your voice as you spoke quietly.

“I’m right here, love.” Kaminari’s voice wavered slightly as well, though he tried to be strong for you. Both of you were scared, but the least he could do was be there for you.

Down the hall, you could hear your fellow students mulling around in their own dorms and asking if everyone was okay. You put two and two together and realized the storm must have knocked the power out. Without warning, Kirishima thrust open the door to your bedroom and shined a flashlight in, causing the two of you to scream in unison as he finally focused it on your shaking forms.

“Why are you guys screaming?” He tilted his head in question while you tried to gain your bearings, and you secretly decided you would never watch horror movies during a storm ever again. “Yo, Kaminari. We lost power ‘cause of the storm. You think you could give the generator a jump?” The redhead rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly, clearly sent over to ask for Denki by someone else.

“Nah, you guys are on your own. It’s date night with my baby, so no can do!”

“Awe, dude, come on! If you send me back with that sort of answer, Bakugou is gonna come storming in here himself!”

“Sorry, man. I’m sure the power won’t be out for that long, anyway. Bakugou can deal with it. 

“If you say so. I’ll try my best to sugarcoat it, but expect an angry looking Bakugou sometime in the near future.”

Kirishima turned away with a wary look, trekking back down the hall the way he came. You turned to your boyfriend and snuggled into him, thankful for having such a loyal person as your partner.

“You could have given their generator a jump, you know,” you said softly.

“I know. But then I’d miss out on date night with you, and that wouldn’t be very kind of me, would it? Date night is just for us. They can figure stuff out themselves.”

The two of you sat there for a moment as you held each other before there was a loud crash from down the hall followed by angry stomping sounds.

“KAMINARI I KNOW YOU’RE IN THERE! OPEN UP!”

[artificialqueens]

star-uncrossed [jackie x jan] - pinkgrapefruit

A/N - this is a prologue of sorts to ‘i do like you’ but it’s mostly just more jackie and jan fluff featuring my favourite dialogue ive ever written. hope you enjoy it! <3

*

They meet on their first day of college and fall in love. Okay it’s not that simple but they do meet on the first day of college and they do fall in love.

Jan didn’t read the email properly.

(She’s from Jersey, screw it, she knows New York and she doesn’t need to read some stupid instructions to find her way around.)

She didn’t read the email properly so she ends up outside the Lillian Verge school for International Relations even though she enrolled in Tisch and quite frankly she’s just incredibly confused. And then she meets a sweet girl with dark brown hair and a loosely Canadian accent and she finds herself feeling a little bit less lost.

“You okay?” The stranger asks with a kind smile. “You seem lost.” And Jan smiles because goddamn, only she could be a damsel in distress in a city that she’s known for years.

“Just a little,” she admits as she stares at the name on the buildings signs - hoping maybe they’ll transform and she can just walk into her 10 am seminar on Performance Movement.

The pretty lady chuckles and bows her head. “What school are you in?” She asks, “you don’t strike me as an international relations student.”

Jan wants to be indignant, play the can’t judge a book by its cover card but she’s dressed in tight leggings and a pair of worn Nikes with a hoodie from her last regional theatre performance and a dance bag slung over her shoulder. She takes a second to look over the brunette and realises that if Jan doesn’t look like an IR major - she most certainly does. She has a white button-down tucked into a pair of light-wash-straight-leg jeans with a beige and red silk bandana in her hair and a leather satchel.

“Tisch,” Jan responds, doing a little twirl for emphasis because if she’s going to be seen as a ditsy blonde theatre major she might as well do it right but the response isn’t what she was expecting.

“Damn, you must have real talent.” The brunette says with genuine sincerity.

Jan decides she wants to marry her on the spot.

The woman pulls out her phone and fires off a quick text before she looks at Jan again. “I was just letting my friend know I’ll be late for brunch,” she states quickly as if it is normal to adjust brunch plans for someone you have never met before and then she grabs her wrist and starts walking.

It’s a fourteen-minute walk down ninth street followed by a three-minute walk down the second avenue in which Jan learns both everything and nothing about the stranger. She learns she’s supposed to be meeting her old pen-pal for lunch near Parsons because she’s an international student from Paris, that she’s fluent in French and Farsi and that she’s lived alone in New York for two years since she turned sixteen because she values life experiences over possessions.

In return Jan lets her know that she’s allergic to shellfish, will do anything for a smoothie and is gay as all hell prompting an in-depth discussion about the rights of LGBT people across the world, a topic that Jan was vastly underprepared to discuss at 10:03 on a Tuesday.

They arrive at Tisch with a start and out of breath but Jan has to stand there a minute longer before she can brace herself to go in.

“You look like you carry a pen,” Jan says, causing the Brunette to raise an eyebrow (although she reaches into her back pocket and produces one anyway). Jan grabs her hand and scrawls her number on it in a veritable chicken scratch before she hands it back.

“I’m Jan,” she says with a smile and an open palm.

“Jackie,” then non-stranger replies.

(Jan starts her first semester at Tisch on a negative grade. It’s worth it.)

*

Jackie texts her at three in the morning asking if she’d like to go for a smoothie tomorrow and Jan replies asking if it will be postponed due to her inhuman kindness.

(Jackie responds not to bite the hand that feeds you but she’s delirious and there is definitely a french word thrown in there somewhere.)

The brunette is laid across the end of Nicky’s bed waxing poetic about Jan’s blue eyes as she had been for three and a half hours and the Frenchwoman is getting very close to kicking her longest friend out of her dorms and forcing her to walk to her own apartment for the night but she knows there would be no point.

They’ve been pen pals since they were seven having long rambling conversations in french through decorated envelopes and sticker-covered letters. As they got older the letters for longer and they evolved into care packages too. Boxes would arrive full of foreign candies and stationery and a book here or there. One year, close to Jackie’s birthday, Nicky sent her a pair of fluffy socks and the letter she received back was tear-stained.

Nicky runs a hand through Jackie’s hair and sighs.

“”This sounds remarkable simple you know,” She offers up with a wry smile and exasperated tone.

“Yeah but it’s not,” whines Jackie in response as she rolls onto her front and lets out a dramatic sigh. “She’s cute and blonde and knows about gay rights.”

“I’m cute and blonde and know about gay rights,” Nicky reminds her.

“Yeah but you’re french,” Jackie responds with her tongue stuck out.

“God. you’re like Romeo and bloody Juliet, what was it - Star crossed lovers?” Nicky grabs a shirt out of her draw and tosses it so it lands on her friends head. “You’re making it so fucking hard for yourself. You’re basically star-uncrossed lovers. There is literally no issue.”

Jackie presses her face into the duvet and moans. “That made no sense you french son of a bitch.”

“Yeah, but you understood me.”

(She did and she’s not happy about it. The whole thing is refreshingly uncomplicated and that makes her very nervous.)

*

Jan wakes up and texts Jackie that it is raining. It’s not that she’s never encountered this before - she just feels the need to share it with someone and Jackie seems appropriate.

Jackie sends back a smiley face and a request for the address of Jan’s dorm and when Jan responds, she tacks on that she will meet her in the lobby at eleven.

Looking at her purple alarm clock, Jan has the realisation that it’s ten am on a Wednesday and she is yet to leave her bed so she rolls out of bed, hits her hand on the drawer of her bedside table, yanks her phone off the charging cable and takes herself to the bathroom she shares with the rest of the floor before deeming that her hair does not need a wash.

(It probably does but it’s dyed a much lighter shade of blonde than it is naturally so she doesn’t want it to fade and she’s not feeling a cold shower this morning.)

By the time she has dressed herself the rain bounces a few inches off the ground and the roads have turned into rivers which is why it is all the more adorable that Jackie meets her in the lobby with a massive black umbrella. She holds her hand up (she’s written Jan on it in black marker) and waves like she’s in an airport which only makes the blonde scrunch her face up in happiness even more.

“Morning!” Jan exclaims with a huge smile and an enduring positivity.

“Morning Jan,” Jackie smiles back, linking their arms and settling the umbrella above their heads so they can walk through the automatic doors and onto the still busy streets.

They banter and bicker the whole way through smoothie bowls whether it’s over the best Disney film (Jackie says Beauty and the Beast but is entirely willing to watch them all with Jan to make sure), guilty pleasure foods (Jan waves her EpiPen as she raves about cocktail shrimp) and their respective majors.

By the end of it, Jan’s learnt her fingers fit perfectly between Jackies and she’s just about ready to put down a deposit on a three-bed two-bath house in Harlem.

They wander home in the early afternoon sunshine, fingers loosely intertwined and Jackie realises quickly that they could count quarters together and she’d be entertained.

They kiss in the lobby and Jan watches the way Jackie’s eyes flit from her lips to her eyes and back down before going in for a second. And then a third. And her mouth tastes like cherry and somehow cinnamon and she doesn’t think she’ll be able to get a smoothie again without recognising the taste.

*

“It’s so easy,” Jan moans with her head on Gigi’s lap. The taller girl is paying very little attention to the blonde but still cards her fingers through her hair occasionally as she sketches a blazer.

Gigi goes to Parsons but her accommodation got messed up so she ended up next door to Jan and they became friends rather fast. Gigi would define friends as someone she tolerates and Jan would define friends as her heart and soul so they both get everything they want out of the situation.

“Has anyone ever told you you’re an emotionally distant bitch,” Jan asked over pot noodles the day they first met.

Gigi smiled and said thank you and that was that so now Jan is disregarding any requests for personal space and is quite happy to just exist in Gigi’s gorgeously decorated dorm room and pilfer the french candy that she gets from a ‘friend’ who Jan happens to know is very loud in bed.

“I really don’t see the issue,” Gigi replies, looking down at the blonde with a raised eyebrow.

“I didn’t expect you to,” Jan states passively. “But thank you.”

“Anytime. Now stand up so I can measure your proportions.”

*

‘Did you know that in the war, Oscars were made of plaster?’

‘Did you know that the gestation of the Indian Elephant is 22 months?”

‘Did you know I love you?’

*

Turns out it’s absolutely that simple.

[lilulo-12fanfiction]

Flicker, Fade- Part 2

It’s finally done! This is Part 2 of a combo of two requests. Word count is 11,800. Soooo not as long as the first part...but long winded none the less.

Original requests:  @justkending​ requested a Steve Rogers x Reader with prompts: “I warned you about him, yet again you didn’t listen.” and “It’s 6am- you’re not having vodka.  @asgardiangurll​ requested a Steve Rogers x Reader with with  prompts:”I’m never going to stop protecting you.”“You are seriously like a man child���

There will definitely be a Part 3. I’m not sure if I’ll be going beyond that. It depends on where the next part takes me. I always know where I want to end up, it’s just how long it takes me to get there.

I hope everyone is healthy and doing well. All of this COVID-19 business is crazy. Stay safe friends. ♥️

As always likes, comments and reblogs are SO APPRECIATED. Requests are open (Avengers, Supernatural, TVD/The Originals. I do dabble in some Green Arrow and The Flash (DC TV Only please). Prompt list can be found here.

Please let me know if you would like to be added to this tag list or one of my others. 

Flicker, Fade Part 1

Avengers Masterlist

Avengers Tag List: @shreddedparchment​ @fanfictionjunkie1112​ @this-is-mycrisis​ @geeksareunique​ @mikariell95​ @gabethelobster​ @captured-memory​

Steve had scooped you up in his arms and ran to the safe house. He had never ran so fast in his life. The heavy rain making it almost impossible for him to see. He was just grateful that it was so warm. As he approached the door, a simple fingerprint scan gave him access to the house. He couldn’t imagine maneuvering a key and the door in that rain while carrying you. He didn’t understand why you couldn’t heal yourself. Once he got you settled on the bed he was calling Tony. He frantically gave him the abridged version of the night’s events.

“Rogers, listen to me and listen carefully. I need you to open the top desk drawers. In there are supplies. Pull out the long cotton swab. You’re going to have to get me a sample of blood from the wound. They must have had something on that blade that would stop her healing, unless throwing the force field drained her, but I don’t think that is the case. If it were that she would experience a fluctuation in her powers any time she used them. There are glass slides in that same drawer. Swab the blood on that and then you’re going to stick it in that little machine that is on the far left end of the desk. It will transmit the results to me here.“

“Oh- okay.” Steve stuttered. It always amazed him how advanced Tony’s technology was and how smart he was. Tony and Bruce consistently blew him away. He and Bruce were a power house.

“I have activated the camera that is there. Put me on speaker phone, I can see you.” Steve set the phone down after he put it on speaker and got to work. “Steve you’re going to have to cut her dress so you can get to her stomach. And don’t be a fumbling idiot. I know you’re all shy and gentleman like, but this is survival.” Steve found a pair of scissors and cut away the dress near the stab wound. He had never been more thankful for the spandex shorts you had put on under that dress. You had been prepared for a fight. You were always ready for a fight. He worked quickly to get your blood sample over to Tony. “Okay, now you need to clean it like we normally would. Once it’s clean, in the fridge there are pre-filled syringes. It’s an antibiotic. Inject it near the site of the stab wound. Then stitch her up.” The bleeding had finally slowed. The dried blood caked to your dress and abdomen was substantial. Steve’s hands shook as he worked.

“Tony how long until you can get us out of here? She’s burning up.” Your whole body felt like it was  on fire. Steve couldn’t look at your face. He wouldn’t be able to focus if he did. He pinched the skin on your stomach to inject the antibiotic.

“What the hell did those assholes give her? That’s a quick acting infection unless maybe it’s just because of how hot it is there. The humidity has to be abrasive.” Steve knew Tony was nervous by how he was rambling. “I don’t know when we can get there Cap. Nothing is going in or out. The storm is even affecting us in New York. I have her blood sample now. Give me a little bit. Just hang tight.” 

Steve took his time slowly stitching your stomach, hoping to not leave you with a nasty scar. He was slightly impressed with his work, though it wasn’t nearly as good as Bruce’s stitching. It seemed like a century passed from when Steve started stitching you up to when he finally heard from Tony again.

"She's going to be okay. Whatever Cobb developed is slowing down her healing ability, but didn’t eliminate it. I think she’s so warm because her body is working over time to try and heal itself. He didn’t want her dead.  I have a feeling he wanted her to experiment with her healing abilities. I wish I had know Cobb was connected to Dr. Yablowski. I never would have let her go on this mission.” Steve had been pressing a cold wash cloth to your forehead. The humidity was almost unbearable.

“I should have done better. I should have protected her, instead she was protecting me. Even when she was bleeding out she shots that bastard in the head.” Tony hummed.

“She does have incredible aim. This is NOT your fault. So get out of your head and focus on taking care of her. That’s how you repay her. You keep her alive. Keep her as cool as you can. Whatever was on that blade is causing an infection essentially. She needs and IV but there’s no way you’re going to be able to do that. Once she comes to, get her hydrated. Probably wouldn’t hurt to give her some pain meds. There are two different kinds where the medications are. Give her a torodol and then the morphine.”

"I’m just worried about Cobb’s men finding the safe house.  I'm sure the storm has slowed them down, I don't know if they found that Nick guy yet. But when they do, they'll come looking for us."

"They won’t be able to find you. I equipped our safe houses with the same stealth technology I put on the Quinjet. She'll be okay Steve. She's tough." "I know she is. Tony...Cobb isn’t dealing drugs or with illegal fire arms. It’s something bigger than that.”

"I know. I’m guessing it’s biochemical. I have a feeling he’s made more serums like the one she’s been injected with. I also think she isn’t the only one out there. I think she’s the only one that got away. She was the first one they injected. The doctor that let her go made a HUGE mistake. I found her when she was hiding out. Maybe if I didn’t bring her into they wouldn’t have found her“

“Now who’s blaming themselves?” Tony chuckled.

“I’ll check back in if I don’t hear from you soon. Take care of my girl.” Then the line went dead. Steve finally studied your face. The color had drained from it completely. He got up to get the meds Tony told him to give you and one of his T-Shirts. After he gave you the meds he slipped the shirt over your head and gently pulled your arms through. Once you were covered he slid his hands  underneath your back and undid the back of what used to be your dress. He slowly slid it off of you to not disturb the wound. There was so much dried blood on it, the top part of the dress was stiff. He threw it out and got a fresh cool compress to put on your forehead. All he could do now was watch and wait.It had been a few hours since Steve had talked to Tony. The storm wasn’t letting up. He was going absolutely stir crazy. He was keeping an eye on the wound and it seemed to be healing incredibly slow. He had taken to pacing the room, worried that Cobb and his associates would come and he would be outnumbered and it would be easy for them to surround the safe house. He was standing by the back door, looking out at the storm when he heard you groan.

"Steve?" your hoarse voice came out almost as a whisper. He rushed over to you to help pull you up so you could lean against the headboard.

"Cami...Jesus....how do you feel?"

"Like I took a giant blade to the gut." You groaned. You slowly pulled the hem of his t-shirt up to look at your stomach. "You do this hack job?" When he looked up at you, you had a tiny hint of a smile in your eyes.

"Shut up." He laughed.

"Nick?" was all you asked.

"Dead. Bucky is going to be proud."

"Do we know what the hell happened?"

"As far as Tony can tell...there was something on that blade made just for you. It slowed down your healing abilities. He seems to think Cobb wanted to get his hands on you to experiment different substances that would stop your healing completely." He gauged your reaction, which there wasn't much of one, so he continued. "He also thinks that he's making serums, similar to the one that he gave you and selling them on the black market." That caught your attention. You started to move to get out of the bed. "Cami...no, stay."

"I need to stand, just help me up." He slowly pulled you to your feet and you were hunched over slightly and made it to the desk chair. You had eyed your purse on the desk, you grabbed your phone out of the purse and dialed.

"Cam?!" Tony's voice rang out over the speaker.

"Yeah...I'm still kicking."

"Oh Thank God. Listen-"

"No, you listen. You need to get on Martin Cobb and whatever his operation is ASAP. I overheard him and his goon talking. They said I was the first. There has to be more. More like me or with different abilities. We can't let this slip. From what Nick said, he is looking for people circling the drain. If the serum he gives them makes them live, then great. But if it doesn't, or actually kills them instead of their injuries...then well no one will really dig deeper into the cause of death."

"We're already on it. Right now, you need to rest until we can get you out of there."

"I'm fine. I'll be fine. I just want to get this guy. If he has a network of enhanced individuals this could be a disaster. I was smart enough to run, but if he got his hooks into the others...God only knows what he's planning."

"I promise you, we're going to get him. Okay? Now please, go lay down until we can get you out of there."

"Okay, okay. I will."

"Cam?"

"Yeah Tony?"

"I love you kid. I don't know what hell Pepper and I would do if something happened to you." The emotion in his throat was thick.

"Me too Tony. I'll see you soon." You ended the call and wiped your eyes. You felt Steve's hand on your waist. You leaned into the comfort of his touch.

"C'mon...come sit back down." You let him lead you over to the bed and get you settled. He sat down and you could tell he wanted to ask you something, he had that look in his eyes.

"Just ask."

"He called you Y/N Y/L/N."

"That's not really a questions.” You teased. "That was my name...before all of this happened. When I woke up in that hospital...and nothing hurt. And I looked completely different I knew someone did something to me. So I kept my mouth shut and got out of there as fast as I could. When I got home, I found out that Dr. Yablowski was looking for me. So I had to disappear. I buried my family...my baby sister...and I faked my own death and ran. I changed my name, I changed everything about myself. It wasn't easy and it cost me a ton of money, but I did it. I flew under the radar until that gunman. The little girl I saved...she reminded me so much of my sister. Her innocent laugh, her excitement. Same hair, same color eyes. I swear, if reincarnation is a thing, that was my sister reborn. I didn't know that I could create force fields. I never had been exposed to any sort of threat that would require it, until that day. I was getting ready to run, to find a way to start over again, to hopefully hide. I knew if anyone saw, if the news caught it, they would find me. Tony found me and gave me a fresh start. But Cobb and Yablowski knew it was me once they started seeing me on TV with you guys. He's been working on this plan for a while." The sadness in your voice broke Steve's heart. You wouldn't look at him while you were talking about your sister.

"Should we call you Y/N?" Steve asked. Now that the cat was out of the bag, you didn't need a new identity anymore.

"No. Y/N Y/L/N died 5 years ago. If they hadn't injected me, I probably would be dead. I'm not that person anymore. I can't be that person anymore. You and Tony are the only ones that know my former name."

"Not even Bucky?"

"No. Not even him." You sighed. "Steve...you should get some rest."

"No...you're compromised and they could find us."

"They're not going to storm our castle Steve. It's not his style. Just sleep a little. There's no way they're even out looking for us in this weather. If it starts to ease up, I'll wake you. I promise." Steve could feel the exhaustion hitting him like a freight train. He climbed into the bed next to you.

"You sense anything, you wake me up, okay?" You nodded. As he settled into the bed he felt you absentmindedly run your fingers through his hair. He looked up at you, but you were staring ahead, a million miles away. He felt the sleep slowly taking over him. His last thought was how he was going to find Martin Cobb for you if it was the last thing he did.It was late in the morning the next day when the Quinjet landed to bring you and Steve home. Steve had gotten some solid sleep, you had stayed awake the rest of the night. You couldn't sleep. Your brain would not shut off to allow you to rest. You were still incredibly sore but you were improving. Whatever Cobb had created to put on that blade was strong, your resolve was stronger.

***

"CAM!" Bucky rushed to you as soon as you stepped onto the jet and pulled you into an embrace. "You're never going on a mission without me again."  He pulled back and looked at your face and saw a sea of emotions behind your eyes. "You good?"

"I'll be fine. I just want to get the hell out of here." You could stand straight, but were moving slowly, favoring your left side where your wound still was. At the rate you were healing, hopefully the stitches could be removed that evening. They were what was giving you the hardest time moving. Bucky led you over to a seat and helped you strap in. Steve was carrying your supplies onto the jet a few moments later. Bucky clapped him on the back of the shoulder.

"Just a recon mission huh? I can't let the two of you out of my sight for a second." Steve laughed.

"That's what I get for opening my mouth and jinxing the mission." Steve had felt guilty for sleeping the whole night. You waved off his guilt. There was no reason the both of you should be awake. You were alert enough for the both of you. Your mind was swimming too hard against the current to let you rest. Steve moved to the front of the jet with Bucky near the controls.

"She looks like shit. Did she sleep at all? She looks exhausted." Steve cringed with guilt again.

"No. She was only supposed to let me sleep for a few hours and then wake me, but she let me sleep the whole damn night. She's putting on a brave face, but this stirred up a lot of her past and she's having a harder time than she's letting on."

"I can tell by her eyes. We'll talk to Tony when we get back. Between the three of us maybe we can convince her to let him give her something to sleep once we're in the safety of the compound. Don't look at me like that. I know how stubborn she is." Steve and Bucky's silent communication abilities were as strong as ever. Bucky glanced over his shoulder at you, a far away look on your face.

“She looks..” Steve finished Bucky’s sentence for him.

“Haunted Buck...she looks haunted. The look on her face when she saw that Doctor...I’ve never seen her react like that. She’s so tough. Nothing rattles her, at least not like that. How did we miss this? The tips that came in about this. How could there have been nothing they pointed towards her accident? How did we not know this was about her?” Bucky glanced back at you again before he looked at Steve.

“Because we kept everything a secret. If the team had known...if maybe at least Nat had known we would have pieced it together. No one knew about the accident, her family or how she basically reinvented herself. None of you ever asked her because Tony and I made it clear it was off limits. I wasn’t following up on the tips. You and Nat were on that. Tony did some, but not enough to piece anything together. This guy is good. I should have pushed her more to tell you guys.” Steve sighed, the weight of the world weighing down on his shoulders again.

“There are so many things we all could have done differently. Especially me. But now we DO know and we protect her and bring him down. She might not like it, but the team will need to know the full story. We can’t stop him if they don’t know. And I hate that she has to share her story. It’s just another way for him to violate her. But there’s no other way for us to protect her or stop him.”

“Let me just say this. Now, before we get back and get into it. I know you and Tony will move Heaven and Earth to keep her safe both physically and emotionally. I can say that if you or Tony try to bench her on this she’ll go rouge and God only knows what will happen. She will not sit this one out. Even if she is too close to the situation. Honestly,  it’s my first instinct too. Keeping her away from him and this seems like the logical step. But I know her so we have to be smart about this. I don’t want her going off on her own and getting herself killed or doing something she can’t take back.” Steve let out a big breath of air.

“You’re right. That’s what I want to do. And Tony will too. You’re also right that she won’t accept it. I can’t say that I blame her though. I wouldn’t either.” Steve’s understanding of how you felt wasn’t surprising to Bucky. The two of you were very alike in some ways. Bucky sat down at the controls and started the Quinjet. 

“Go sit with her, I got this.” Steve nodded and headed back to where you were seated.

Steve made his way and sat next to you, but you were so engrossed in your thoughts you didn’t even notice him. He took the moment to study your profile and really see you. The curve of your face and the slope of your nose. The shape of your face and the illumination of your purple eyes. He could stare at you forever. You finally noticed him sitting next to you. Your eyes met his and you gave him a half smile, but he could see the weariness in your eyes. You reached out and took his hand, hoping they he could anchor you down as you felt your inner turmoil pulling you away.

“We’ll be home soon.” You nodded, not trusting your voice not to crack. The more you thought about what Nick said...the more anxious you were becoming. How many people had they done this to? How many people were dead because of it. And then there was the idea that Cobb was selling these serums on the black market. What if he wasn’t selling the serum but the people he injected. Steve could see your mind taking you down the rabbit hole of despair. You felt his thumb comfortingly rubbing over the top of your hand. You looked back at him and stared into his eyes. They reminded you of the ocean and you wanted to drown in it. “I got you.” He tried to comfort you. You nodded at him and looked forward again but intertwined your fingers with his  to keep  a tight grip on his hand. Bucky glanced back and saw you and Steve in your own little world. Your world might be in fire, Bucky thought to himself, but maybe those flames would bring his two best friends together. 

***

“She’s resting now.” Bruce walked back out into the common area. He and Tony had used your blood sample to create an injection to counter act whatever was on the blade that stabbed you.

“Did she let you give her something to help her sleep?” Steve was weary from the trip back. His head was pounding from over thinking.

“Yes. I told her she needs to sleep to heal properly and once she’s bounced back she can get back to work but that no one will let her do anything if she doesn't take care of herself first. It was hard for her to say no to that.  She did mutter something before she fell asleep, I don’t know what it means but I’m assuming you three do.” Bruce looked between Tony, Bucky and Steve. “She said she doesn’t think the accident was an accident.” Both Tony and Bucky looked alarmed, but Steve knew exactly what you were talking about.

“I think she’s right.” Steve’s voice was solemn. “We didn't talk about it, but I was thinking about it the entire way back here. The way that guy was talking. She said that Nick told Cobb they could make more and to let her go. There’s no way they could be on the scene of multiple accidents like that. They had to be creating them.” Bucky paled.

“Her survivors guilt has to be in over drive. She had it before, but if they targeted her family to take her? She won’t get over that. I’ve got to call Nat and tell her I can’t meet her. I was going to go to Clint's for a few days and then bring her back to the compound.” Bucky ran his hand down his face.

“No Bucky, go and get Nat. Camille will appreciate having her here. Just call her and tell her what's going on and only spend the night at Clint's. You’ll be back by tomorrow evening. She’ll probably sleep until then with the pain meds and the sedatives Bruce gave her. Rogers and I are here. We’ve got her.” Steve was still impressed by the progress Tony and Bucky had made. Their mutual affection for you had really brought them together.

“He’s right Buck. Go get Nat. . I’ll keep a a close eye on her and let her know you'll be back tomorrow night.” Bucky contemplated Steve.

“You’ll call me if she needs me?”

“Of course. We got this, okay?” Bucky nodded. He didn’t want to leave Nat hanging but he didn’t want to abandon you. Steve could see the conflict all over his face. “I promise.” Bucky nodded and hurried off to get his bag. The sooner he got to Natasha, the sooner he could get her home.

Steve looked back to Tony after Bucky was gone. Tony studied Steve’s face for a moment. He saw a lot of things in his eyes, the most apparent was his worry and his affection for you.

“So uh...you and Cam...” Steve snapped his eyes up to Tony’s. Tony watched as he paled for a moment and then his cheeks turned a deep red. “Look, we all know you have a thing for her. I’m like 99% sure it’s mutual. The two of you just refuse to accept it, acknowledge it and or deal with it. You have trauma from being frozen for almost a century. She has her own trauma. You’re both scared. I get that. Man do I get that. Pull your head out of your ass Rogers. This life? Nothing is guaranteed. You know that first hand. Stop wasting time. Oh and you’re going to have to make the first move because she is absolutely terrified of letting anyone get close to her again. You and I both know loss. But Cam...she was 18 years old and watched her whole family die and then had to leave the life she knew to hide. She was smart enough to know what would happen to her. She spent 3 years isolating herself before i barged into her life and brought her here. She needs you to break down the last of the walls she has built around herself. You were there for her, Barnes told me what happened. The fact that she told you what she told you is huge progress for her. She never wants anyone to feel sorry for her and she doesn’t ever want to feel vulnerable or weak. You are the most honorable man I know. Honorable to a fault if I’m being honest. You’re a good man and I think you’re what she needs. She needs someone to love her.”

“She has people that love her. She doesn’t need me. I don’t think she needs anyone. She’s the strongest person I’ve ever met. She opened up to me because she didn’t think she had a choice but to tell me. I think she could do without me.”

“You’re an idiot if you believe any of what you just said other than her being so strong. She is, she’s tough as nails. Don’t think for one second she would have told you jack shit if she didn’t want to. She would have told you to mind your own business. She deserves to be happy. You deserve to be happy. Just get out of your own way and be happy together.” It wasn’t often that Tony’s advice wasn’t laced with sarcasm and sass. Tony took Steve’s lack of response as acceptance. “Go watch over our girl.” Tony turned and headed in the direction of his lab. Steve watched as her paused for a moment and turned back to Steve. 

“Just know Cap that if you hurt her, there isn’t a serum strong enough to protect you.” Tony gave Steve a pointed look and then left the room. Steve leaned against the counter considering Tony’s words. Your bright smile and melodic laugh were echoing in his mind as he made his way to your bedroom to check on you. Tony was right. Bucky was right. Of course they were right; the only other people that knew him just as well were Nat and Sam, but Bucky and Tony could see through him in a way that no one else could. It was easier to keep you at arms length. He didn’t want to admit that you were under his skin, that you had infiltrated his entire being. It was easier to keep his feelings veiled by self-righteousness and irritation than to let them in. You challenged him, kept him on his toes, just like Peggy had. And how had that turned out? He couldn’t couldn’t lose another woman he loved. Deep down, in the part of him that he didn’t allow to see the light of day, he knew he was in love with you. How could he not be?

Personality wise he had a type, that much was obvious. You were fierce and weren’t afraid to tell him he was wrong. That first mission you told him it was a set up and he was sure you were wrong. Anyone else, any new recruit at SHIELD, they would never dream to challenge his orders let alone get in his face after his orders blew up in his face. Your passion to save those who couldn’t save themselves, the fury that literally flickered in your eyes had made him feel things. Things he never thought he would feel for any other woman again. He had felt like he had to shut it down before it started.

You were beautiful. Anyone with eyes could see that. The way the shine of your black hair would sparkle in the sun. Your eyes, your damn eyes, were intoxicating. They weren’t exactly purple. The violet had a touch of grey that gave them a natural look. He hated when you wore your contacts and covered them up. They had been necessary when you were on mission to see through the appearance enhancer technology, but you wore them more often than not. Steve knew you desperately wanted to feel normal, come off as normal. You were anything but. Even before the serum, Steve knew you were extraordinary. He vowed to himself that he would make you realize how special you were. How he loved the way the magenta sparked in your eyes. He wanted to help you love it too.

He slowly opened your door. Tony had made sure Friday kept it unlocked for the time being so they could check on you. There you were, dark hair splayed out across your pillows. You seemed to be blissfully and peacefully asleep. Steve knew that it was the sedatives. Inside you were full of turmoil. He leaned over to brush the hair off of your face and kissed your forehead. He pulled the arm chair you had in the corner of your room closer to the bed and took a seat. He didn’t want you to wake up alone.

He looked around your room. As much as you tried to hide the purple in your eyes, it was on full display in your personal space. Steve wasn’t sure if you even realized you had done it. Your walls, like most of the walls in the compound were a dove gray. Your bed spread was a shade of bluish-purple and your sheets were light violet. The chair he was sitting in matched your bed spread. No doubt the work of Tony Stark.  You had a large black book shelf that was chock full of books of every genre. Classics like Moby Dick, 1984 and Jane Eyre. You had every single Harry Potter book and books that you liked to call your guilty pleasures like the Pretty Little Liars series. Grimm’s Fairy Tales and stories by Gregory Maguire occupied almost a full shelf. They were some of your favorites. You loved fairy tales and you loved his spin on them. He remembered how thrilled you had been last Christmas when Tony had gifted you a few you didn’t have yet. You had a tattered copy of Lewis Carroll’s Alice in Wonderland next to your bed, but Steve had seen an almost brand new copy in your hands a few weeks ago. Steve didn’t want to invade your privacy so he stopped himself from picking up the copy next to your bed. He knew there was a story there. He realized reading was your way to escape. To forget the horrors you had experienced, even for a little while.

You had a matching black desk and lined up on it were a handful of leather journals in varying shades of purple. Steve was itching to read them, he had seen you sitting outside furiously writing in them. Yet he would never invade your most private of thoughts. It would be like someone tearing through his sketch books without his permission.

Steve stood to take a look at the handful of pictures you had framed in your room. He hadn’t ever spent a lot of time in here so he never got a chance to really look. As he studied them, he felt himself smile. While you had lost your family, you had made a new one here. Tony Stark made an appearance in quite a few of the framed photos. You had a picture of Tony and Pepper taken from one of the parties Tony was famous for. They weren’t looking at the camera or posing for the picture. It had been taken from the side as they looked and smiled at each other. The love and happiness radiating from both of their eyes. Steve could only hope that one day you would look at him like that, if he hadn’t messed things up beyond repair with you. There was a picture of you, Tony and Pepper taken during your first New Years at the compound. Pepper was laughing as you and Tony wore “Happy New Years” tiaras and the obnoxious glasses that were in the shape of the year and a bunch of beaded necklaces. Then there was one of just you and Tony. It was just a random night at the compound and you had snapped the picture of the two of you. Tony and Pepper had truly become the parental figures you had needed. Not that they took the place of your parents but they had help fill the hole in your heart just a bit.

One of Steve’s favorites was of you and Bucky. It had been the 4th of July. The two of you were wearing American Flag shorts and matching Captain America T-Shirts just to tease Steve. You had red, white and blue ribbons braided into your hair and you had somehow convinced Bucky to paint his face red, white and blue. Sam was in the background double over in laughter as you stood in a “super hero pose” completed with an American flag cape. The final picture on your desk took him by surprise. It was a picture of Steve and Bucky. Taken similarly like the one of Tony and Pepper. It could have been the same night. They were both wearing Tuxedos. Bucky’s hair was still long and he had it neatly slicked back. They were both staring in the same direction.

“I love that picture.” Your voice came out in a hoarse whisper. Steve set the picture down and turned to you. You still looked hazy from the medication Bruce had given you. Your skin was still a ghostly white, your hair tussled by sleep.

“Sorry. It just caught my eye.” You smiled softly and rubbed your face.

“There’s nothing to apologize for. It was sitting on my desk, you weren’t rifling through my stuff.” Steve walked over and sat on the edge of your bed.

“I’m surprised you’re awake. Bruce said he gave you a heavy sedative.”

“Medication seems to work through my system more quickly than a normal person. The advanced healing and what not”

“Can I see?” Steve motioned to your stomach. You nodded and pulled your t-shirt up so he could see your stomach. Bruce had taken out the stitches Steve had done and you had an angry red mark. Steve ran his finger over it and he watched goose bumps pop up all over your skin. He met your eyes and he saw a slight blush on your cheeks.

“Bruce said the scar should slowly fade since whatever they stabbed me with seemed to just slow my healing so your janky stitches shouldn’t leave a mark.” You had a hint of your signature teasing smirk on your face. Steve laughed lightly and took your hand.

“You really scared me. I thought I, that we were going to lose you.”

“It was a good reminder that I’m not invincible. I tend to think that nothing can touch me. Thank you for taking care of me. Not just after I was stabbed, but before too.”

“Anytime. You should get some rest. I’ll stay with you.”

“Did Bucky go for Nat?” You ignored Steve’s urging for you to get rest.

“He did.” He studied your face as you grabbed your phone off of the night stand and were furiously typing with your thumbs. “What’s happening?” You set the phone back down.

“I asked him to tell Nat. I don’t think I can keep telling the story. Tony can tell everyone else.” Steve saw a small tear slip from the corner of your eye. You slowly pulled yourself up into a sitting position, waving Steve off as he tried to help you.

“I think that Martin Cobb has been causing the accidents to create more people like me.”

“I know. You said something to Bruce before the sedative knocked you out. I agree.”

“You do? You don’t think I’m being crazy.” Steve laughed.

“I think we both know by now that you’re incredibly intuitive. You’re also rarely wrong. There’s also no way he could happen upon that many random accidents, not if he's been slowly trying to build an army. Cam, I promise you that we will find him, find the others and stop him. But you have to recover first. You have to be firing on all cylinders. I need you at 100%. And we have to find him first. It won’t be easy.” When Steve looked at your face you were grinning. “What?”

“Say it again.”

“What?”

“That I’m always right.”

“No, no...I said you’re rarely wrong. There’s a big difference.” You rolled your eyes. “Good to see you feeling more like yourself.” Steve moved to sit next to you and rested his back against your head board. He froze for a moment when you rested your head on his shoulder. He hesitated for a moment and then wrapped his arm around you. He smiled slightly as you moved into him and rested your head on his chest.

"I was thinking too how we thought he was trafficking drugs and then jumped to him trafficking the serums. What if he's not giving out the serums, but trying to sell the individuals he's enhanced."

"That’s...that's horrifying. And entirely possible." Steve let the idea sink in. 

"Cam...we're gonna figure all of this out and stop him, regardless of what he's doing. I promise."

“I’m scared. I haven't felt scared like this since the accident. I’m terrified of what he's done, of what he's going to do. I can't get the idea of innocent people being manufactured as weapons, the same way Bucky was. I’m afraid to go to sleep because I know the nightmares are going to come again. I thought I left them behind.”

“I could have Bruce give you something to help you sleep again.”

“It makes it worse. I can’t wake myself up from the nightmare. It’s like I’m trapped. All I can see is the lifeless faces of my family, the smell of their blood...now faceless people suffering at Martin Cobb's hands” your voice trailed off.

“Then I’ll be here to wake you up.” He felt you nod your head against him. You turned on your side and wrapped your arms around his waist, your ear resting against his chest. He was certain you could hear his heart pounding. He brought his hand up and slowly started running his fingers through your dark locks until he felt your breathing even out and you were asleep again.

***

You slowly started getting back into a routine. You kept your distance from most of the team, not wanting to talk about the events that transpired. Tony was desperately trying to find Martin Cobb but he was as elusive as ever. Any time he got close to an idea of where he was hiding, something changed and he lost him again. No one could figure out how he was targeting individuals, what he was pushing on the side. It was a mystery. If Tony couldn't find him, if the resources and SHIELD couldn't find him, how could he be stopped? You spent a lot of time working out. Pounding on the treadmill or a heavy bag was how you let out most of your pent up aggression. You didn't even want spar with Bucky. For the first time in a very long time, you just wanted to be left alone, with the exception of Steve Rogers. Even Steve was only acceptable in minimal doses. You ran with him around the compound in the morning after breakfast, the two of you often ate a silent dinner together and then went for a walk at night to help you wind down. While you wouldn't talk about what you were feeling,  Steve knew you had pent up frustration, anxiety and anger that you had to try and work it out of your body. Every night, Steve came to your room to go to sleep and as promised woke you up from every single nightmare. Everyone in the compound had silently agreed to give you ample space. If they noticed what was happening with you and Steve, they didn’t say anything, with the exception of Bucky.

It was early on a Thursday morning that Bucky came upon Steve in the kitchen. He was standing at the counter in front of the coffee maker, staring off into space. The lack of sleep since the two of you had gotten back was getting to him. He was trying to figure out a way to get you to open up more without pushing too hard. Talking about what was on your mind might help lessen your nightmares. He would go without sleep for the rest of his life for you, but he could tell the constant waking up was affecting you too. Last night Steve had come in to your room to go to sleep and you had thrown your worn "Alice in Wonderland" book into the drawer of your night stand and wordlessly turned on a movie to fall asleep to. Steve didn't know what to say, he didn't know how to make you feel better. He just wanted to help you. Bucky jolted Steve from his thoughts when he slammed his hand down on the counter.

“I need to talk to you.” Bucky had his arms crossed over his chest. Steve turned and saw the serious expression on his friends face.

“What’s going on Buck?”

“You tell me.”

“Bucky...I’m tired, I’m going to need you to spell it out for me.”

“Late nights with Camille wearing you out?” His tone was laced with accusations.

“What are you talking about?”

“You’ve gone to her room literally every night for the past week. I’ve seen you. I usually go in to check on her, especially after what happened but you’re already in there. I know I told you to wake up to your feelings about her but is now really the time for you to start sleeping with her?” Steve scoffed.

“I’m not sleeping with her! I’m not involved with her like that.  Have we gotten closer? Yeah of course we have, how could we not after everything? I was there when this all went down, for whatever reason she feels the most comfortable around me, I'm not going to rock that boat on her, I would NEVER take advantage of her, or anyone else for that matter. She’s having a hard time sleeping. Her nightmares are back. I promised her I’d wake her up every time. That’s why I’ve been staying with her. I’d think you’d know me better than that. And not for nothing you’re the one that told me to ponder my feelings for her!” Steve took a defensive stance.

“God, I’m an asshole. I’m sorry." Bucky ran his hand down his face in frustration. He had been worried sick about you and you had been pushing him away and closing yourself off. "My over protective side kicked in. I know you aren’t like that. Jesus I’m sorry. I haven’t wanted to push her into talking. It's driving me crazy not knowing what's going on with her. I had no idea her nightmares were back.  If you're staying up with her, that explains why you look like shit.” Steve laughed and shook his head.

“She’s having like 2 or 3 a night. I don’t know what to do for her. She doesn’t want to talk about it. I know Tony is hunting for Cobb but won’t let her help until she’s back on her feet 100%. Physically she's there, but mentally she isn't and that's why he's keeping her away from it. She’s going crazy. She’s in the gym now beating the crap out of a heavy bag. I’m not sure her training with anyone else is a good idea. She’s got so much rage in her, she might not be able to stop.”

“I swear to God I’m going to kill that man with my bare hands.” Steve could see the rage in Bucky’s features. “Mostly because I don’t want her to do it and have it open more wounds. There’s no way she’s going to let him walk away from this.”

“Murder isn’t the answer.” Steve knew Bucky was right, you were going to try to end Martin Cobb's life. “We have to convince her to let us take him in.” “Well you let me know how that goes for you.”

“Buck.”

“Steve, not everyone deserves to live. Some people deserve to be dead.”

“But we can’t be the ones to make the choice! That makes us no better than them. It’s one thing I’d someone dies in battle. But we can’t go around executing people. We just can’t.”

“I know. You’re right. I just can’t deal with anyone getting away with hurting her.” Bucky looked around to make sure no one was coming. “She told me you kissed her. And if you say it was for the mission I’m going to punch you.” The heat rushed to Steve’s face.

“Fine...I was looking for an excuse. Once I finally let my guard down to her...I don’t know, she’s just...I just want to be near her. But now I don’t want to act on it because she’s not in the right head space.”

“So just be there for her. You guys are like two different people than the ones that went on that mission. Sticking by her through this, the right time will present itself.” Steve hummed in agreement. “She feels the same way, she admitted it when she told me about the kiss. So don’t go convincing yourself she doesn’t. Also- I frigging told you so.” Bucky clapped Steve on the back and left him to his much needed coffee.

***

You had just gotten out of the shower and were laying on your bed in a pair of leggings and a baggy t-shirt, your hair braided around your head. Your mind was like a battlefield. All you wanted to do was quiet the noise.  A loud knock at your door shook you out of your thoughts. Before you could even answer, Tony strolled in. 

“Okay. I know you’re in a bad place but I’m not letting you mope or angrily stomp around. We’re going to get Cobb, take down his whole operation and help whoever else he juiced up. But in the mean time, you have to live. So get up and get dressed. Wear something nice.”

“No Tony. I’m not in the mood to go out or party or anything along those lines.”

“Oh I’m sorry, I didn’t mean for that to sound optional. In exactly 1 hour Captain Rogers will come in this room to get you. You can make yourself look presentable or he can drag you out of here in that get up looking homeless. It’s your choice.” You groaned and threw yourself back on your bed and stared up at the ceiling. You wallowed for a few more moments and dragged yourself out of your bed and went into your bathroom to do your makeup and fix your hair. Your wardrobe was an entirely different issue. You had no desire to wear something that wasn’t in the realm of pajamas. But you also knew that Tony wasn't lying about Steve dragging you out of this room. Steve had been begging you to go out and do something for the entire week. He knew it wasn't good for you to sit around and stew in your emotions.

A little while later you were standing in front of your full length mirror in black shorts and a gold sequined V-Neck T-shirt and black heeled gladiator sandals. Your cherry red toenails gleaming under the light of your room. You had taken your hair out of it's braid and piled it on top of your head in a messy up-do. The summer heat was getting to you and your hair felt like a blanket most of the time.

Never one to be late, you heard Steve Rogers knock on your door. You gave Friday the command to open the door and Steve strolled in wearing black dress pants and a blue shirt that made his eyes pop and was tight across the chest and his biceps. It really wasn't fair for one man to be so perfect looking. He smiled at you. "Wow. You look beautiful." You were never great at taking compliments, but his made you feel fuzzy.

"Well my homeless look wasn't doing much for Tony. What is he making me do?" Steve smirked as you crossed your arms in front of you and jutted your hip out demanding answers.

"I've  been instructed to tell you nothing. And I don't really feel like having to fight Tony in his suit tonight. It causes a lot of damage and clean up is always a bitch." Your laugh rang through the room. Steve reached his hand out and you took a few steps forward and placed yours in his so he could lead you out of the room. The change in your relationship in the weeks since your mission was astounding. Never in a million years would you have believed anyone if they told you Steve Rogers was the one keeping your nightmares at bay and taking care of you. It was nice. Being close to him physically and emotionally was really nice. You worried that it was only because of what happened and not because he wanted to be there and be close to you as a person. Part of you, your brain, was screaming to run and protect yourself, yet your heart wanted to stick around and find out. Your heart was winning the war. You silently prayed that the risk would be worth the reward. You also knew that if this crashed and burned you would probably not let anyone else in ever again.

Steve led you to the party room in the compound that Tony had built specifically for events. It had a large, spacious dance floor, a lounge area, a beautiful and fully stocked bar, a wrap around balcony with seating areas to look out at the sky and a gorgeous outdoor patio that displayed every single star in the sky on a clear night with a breathtaking stone fire pit. Steve felt you stop and jolt him  back. He turned to look at you as panic, terror and a little bit of anger crossed over your features.

"Steve...if this is a surprise party for my birthday. I...I don't want to go in. I can't. I can't do this."

"How Tony thought he could pull this off without you figuring it out before hand is beyond me." Steve stepped back towards you and cupped your face in his hands. "Camille...you can do this. I know what happened was awful. It was a lifetimes worth of awful on the one day that should always be your happiest. You can't live in that place forever. You deserve happiness and to be celebrated. We're your family and we love you...we want to celebrate you. Let us do that. You deserve it more than anyone. I know it's hard. But you told Bucky that maybe it was time for you to stop mourning that day. So let me walk you through those doors and let us all be grateful for the day you came into this world. I will be right there with you the whole time." Steve's thumb stroked your cheek. Your felt like your stomach had dropped out of your body with how his blue eyes were piercing into yours. You took a deep breath and reveled in the feeling of his hands on your face and turned your cheek slightly into his palm. He watched as your eyes flashed a little magenta. Whatever you were feeling it was strong.

"Okay Steve." He smiled at you. You knew at that moment you would never be able to deny him anything he asked of you ever again. He slid his hands down to your shoulders and then your arms. He rested one hand on the small of your back and slowly led you into the room. You couldn't even help but smile with happy tears when your friends and your newly formed family yelled out surprise. 

The room was filled with not only the Avengers but SHIELD agents and people who worked for Stark Industries. You let Steve lead you over to the bar where Bucky, Nat, Sam and Tony were waiting for you.

"You didn't run." Bucky greeted you with a smile and a hug.

"No- our friend was pretty convincing."

"It's good to see you smile again. It's all going to be okay." Bucky whispered in your ear before he let you go so you could hug Nat and then Sam. You wanted to smack Tony's grin off of his face. He was gloating.

"I knew he could get you here. I'm also glad you decided to change." You wrapped your arms around his waist and he engulfed you in a hug. "You deserve this. Enjoy yourself. Don't think about the bad stuff, we can think about that tomorrow okay?" He felt you nod against his chest. "Go...have fun." He shoved you towards Steve slightly and went off to Rhodey and Happy who were across the room.

"Camille!" You knew who the booming voice belonged to before you even turned around. Steve watched as your face erupted into a smile.

"Thor!" You spun around and ran to hug him. Steve knew there was nothing to your reaction. Everyone loved Thor. Yet, seeing him scoop you up in a hug sent the tiny pang to white hot jealousy coursing through his veins.

"Maybe you should do something about that." Natasha was leaning against the bar grinning at Steve.

"She's going through too much. It's not the right time." Nat scoffed.

"Yeah, I heard about Bucky's freak out. Don't listen to him. Look...there's always something going on in our lives. Someone is always dealing with some sort of trauma. If you wait until things settle...you'll be waiting for the rest of your life. You out of anyone should know how precious time is and how we can't waste it.  And quite honestly I'm sick of listening to you two bicker and then pine after each other. It's annoying. If you want to be with her, tell her." Nat pushed off the bar and went to join Bucky who had drifted over to the lounge area bickering with Sam.

Steve kept his distance for a good portion of the night, stuck in his head, trying to decide what he should do. The two of you had made progress in your relationship. You were friends now. He wanted more. Everyone told him that you wanted more. He was psyching himself out. Watching you laugh and place your hand on Thor's arm was making his insides churn. Steve watched as Thor kissed you on the cheek and headed away from you. He wanted to punch something until you turned and smiled your best smile at him. His breath caught in his throat as he watched you walk over to him. Never had that smile been for him. Never before had you looked at him like he was the only person in the room.

"Where have you been all night? You vanished, I was hoping to spend the party with you." Your head was cocked to the side as you leaned against the bar, still smiling at him.

"You were with Thor. I figured you hadn't seen him in a while so I wanted to give you your space." He watched confusion pass over your face, and then a tiny spark of realization.

"That's true. But I still wish you had joined us." You looked down for a moment and then looked up at him through your dark lashes. Steve took a step closer to you and placed his hand on the side of your face and stroked your cheek with his thumb like he had done so many times in the past few weeks.

"I'm sorry I disappointed you." You looked nervous. You were seemingly just as nervous as he was. It was the best kind of nervous.

"You could make it up to me."

"Oh yeah? How so?" You were both in your own little world. You didn't even notices Bucky and Natasha watching you shyly flirt back and forth. The two of you together were like a baby doe. If they approached, they would ruin the moment and you would both run for it.

"You could dance with me." You put your hand out, palm up. He hesitated for a moment. You didn't know what the idea of dancing with someone meant to him. He shook his ghosts away and smiled at you, taking your hand in his.

"I'd love to." He led you hand and hand out to the dance floor, and while to the two of you it seemed the stars were aligning as the music slowed down, the reality of the situation was that everyone was waiting for you two to get together and took advantage of you approaching the dance floor to slow the music down. Steve's hand found the small of your back, a place that felt like home to him, a place where he found himself touching almost ever day. He pulled you close to him, the heels your were wearing brought you closer to his height, but definitely not to eye level. You were tall enough to be able to wrap your arm over his shoulder and place your hand at the back of his neck as he held your other hand in is. Feeling your body pressed up against his, you hadn't realized what you had been missing since you met him; since you had been fighting to keep him at arms length, struggling to keep him and your great big feelings at bay. Once again, your pesky little heart was drowning out the unnecessary screams of your brain to run.

The two of you moved in sync with the music silently for a while, just enjoying being close to one another. You felt the side of Steve's head drop a little to press against yours so he could whisper in your ear.

"Happy Birthday sweetheart." The endearing term had your heart pounding. You normally hated nicknames like that. The only person that got away with anything like that was Bucky when he called you doll; only because half of the time he didn't even realize he was doing it. But you could listen to Steve calling you sweetheart for the rest of your life. You felt a chill run down your spine as his lips brushed against your ear.

"I never wanted to celebrate. I didn't feel like I had a reason to celebrate. Not until now." Steve pulled his head up so he could look into your eyes. He studied your expression for a moment. With the way he was looking at you, you were certain he was going to kiss you. Really kiss you, not as some poor excuse to save a mission. Just when it seemed like he was going to lean down, the entire room went dark. You felt Steve's grip on you tighten as you both turned to a video being projected on the wall. You had no idea where it was coming from. Then, Martin Cobb's smug face was grinning at the room and you felt a wave of nausea and then rage surge through you.

"Well hello Avengers, Shield agents, friends of Y/N...I mean Camille." You visibly winced when he used your real name. "I keep forgetting that you changed everything about yourself after I changed you. I hear Happy Birthday is in order. Well belated, you were busy murdering one of my best men on your birthday. Though I'm sure he had it coming and he gave you cause. I hope you're okay after that stab wound you got. You never know harmful a dirty blade can be." Your jaw clenched at the implication. You wanted to rip this man to shreds.

"How the hell did he know you were stabbed?" Steve whispered to you, but you couldn't respond. You couldn't take your eyes off the man that had ruined your life. You waited for him to continue. 

"I had NO idea that the day we crossed paths so many years ago was your birthday. What a gift I gave you! The ability to heal yourself, those around you, those fancy little force fields. And I hear that now you're quite the fighter. I'm assuming from your training with our mass murdering friend The Winter Solider. Yes, my dear Camille, I know all about you. What you've done since you escaped my grasp. I am so sorry about your family. Unfortunate collateral damage. Though if I'm being honest I had really hoped that we would have gotten you AND your sister...or at least your sister. You proved my point to Dr. Yablowski that the younger the subjects are, the better. The more impressionable they are. You ran, you hid your abilities until Stark dragged you out of wherever hole you had dug for yourself. You know, I really have to thank you Tony. I sincerely thought our dear girl was actually dead until I caught video footage of her working with the Avengers. It didn't take me long to infiltrate and get all the information I needed. And Camille, your Houdini Act allowed me to change my strategy.  I'm building myself quite a team of child soldiers. Taking their parents from them at a young age. Orphans are SO GRATEFUL to generous benefactors after they lose everything. Oh...I fear I've said too much. I know you're looking for me, but you wont find me. Not until we're ready. Then, we'll be coming for you. Happy Birthday Y/N." 

The room went dark again and you could hear the frantic murmurs from the crowd. When the lights finally came on Steve could see the range of emotions on your face. Rage, fear, sadness ad determination. Tony and Bucky were quickly approaching the two of you. Tony had a hard time meeting your eyes.

"I'm so sorry. I don't know how he got through my systems. I'm so sorry I brought you here. They never would have found you..." Your eyes snapped to Tony.

"He always would have found me. Some how, some way. Don't you dare  blame yourself. You gave me my life back, a purpose, a family." A few tears slipped from your eyes.

"Guys..." Bucky interrupted. "We have a bigger problem. Cobb has someone on the inside. And we need to figure out who the hell it is."

Tony quickly cleared out the party, Steve had led you outside to get some air, his arm firmly around your waist holding you up. It was taking all of your strength not to fall apart. He was targeting children, taking away everything they knew and loved so he could mold them into something else, a weapon. You would die before you let him succeed. Steve had stood himself in front of the door to signal to everyone else that you needed space. You were sitting on the bench looking out at the clear summer sky. The stars were mocking you with their sparkle. Everyone must have got the message about bothering you as Steve had moved away from the door and closer to you. You felt his hand slide over your shoulder and he slowly turned you to look at him.

“Listen to me. We are going to find him. We are going to rescue those kids. I promise you that. This is all going to be okay. It might take some time but we always get there. C’mon sit down.” He led you over to the bench a little further down so he could sit next to you, your bodies angled towards each other so that your knee was touching his. He reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a small wrapped box. “I got this for you. Tony pulled this party together pretty quickly. I was lucky I found what I wanted." He paused for a moment to consider his words. "I know this is probably the worst time to tell you this. I just can't wait anymore. I just...I regret all the time we wasted, I wasted not being close to you. Keeping you at arms length. I don’t know how you feel. I just know that I feel something. I have for a while and it was easier to push you away than to let you in. I think I didn’t want to risk loosing another person I cared about. Like I said, I know this isn’t the best time and that you’re going through a lot. I don’t want you to feel pressured. I just want you to know that I’m here for you, in whatever capacity you need me or want me to be. And when you're ready we can talk more about how I feel about you. I don't want another moment to go by without you knowing that you mean something to me.” 

Your hands shook slightly as you peeled the tape off of the small rectangular box. You knew it was some piece of jewelry by the grey-blue velvet box. You slowly popped it open. Inside was a white gold dream catcher necklace. There were three solid feathers hanging from the circular webbing. Inside the circle, scattered through the webbing were tiny diamonds with one small diamond directly in the center. You looked up at Steve as he studied your face in anticipation. “In case I’m not there to keep the nightmares away. I hope you like it.”

You were speechless. Normally he would make a crack about your lack of response but now wasn’t the time. Your eyes met his and you placed your hand on his cheek and rubbed it with your thumb, the same gesture he had done so many times since your trip to South America. You couldn’t properly put together a sentence that could accurately describe how you were feeling. He watched as you shifted yourself and sat on his lap, keeping your hand on his face. You silently searched his eyes for a moment and then you were pressing your lips against his. It was the only way for you to show him exactly how you felt. He shifted and pulled you closer to him and depended the kiss. After a few moments you were both breathless so you pulled away and rested your forehead against his.

“Thank you.” You whispered. “I love this. So much.” You pulled back slightly so you could look him in the eyes. “I feel something for you too. I think I always have. But like you I’ve been so damn scared. I don’t know if my heart could take loosing another person I loved. Letting Tony in was the hardest thing I’ve done and then Bucky. I had steeled myself against letting anyone close to me. And then I met you, and I knew I was in trouble.” You saw his eyes crinkle with a smile, you couldn’t help but smile back. “It was easier for me to let you think I was this brat that had to have her way. That I couldn’t take orders. I wanted you to not like me, so then I would end up not liking you. It didn’t work. Even when you were yelling at me all I wanted to do was kiss your stupid perfect lips. You’re a good man. You’re kind, generous, you put others first, always. Even when I thought you hated me I knew you would sacrifice yourself for me.”

“You were kind of a brat.” You laughed and pressed your lips against his in a chaste kiss.

“I don’t know where this is going to take us, but I don’t want to waste any more time not being with you, I don’t want to push you away anymore either. I need you. I know I’m going to need you to get through this. It’s- it’s going to bring up a lot of bad stuff for me, more than it already has. I don’t want to be alone anymore. I don’t want to do this alone.” Steve watched as you got emotional and your panic started to rise.

“Hey, hey. Listen to me. You’ve never been alone. Not for one second. You will always have this family. Tony and Pepper, they love you like a daughter. When Tony assigned your training to Bucky...you gave him a purpose. And even when I wanted to throttle you, you had me. You have Sam, Nat, Bruce, Rhodey and Thor. We are all here for you. I am here for you, whatever you need.”

“Just hold me.” You whispered. He pulled you close to him and buried his face in your neck as you rested your chin on his shoulder. If only you hadn’t pushed him away for so long, you could have felt like this sooner. He made you feel safe. He made you feel like everything was going to be okay even though deep down you knew it would be, not for a while anwyay.

“C’mon- let‘s get inside and get some rest. Tomorrow will be a long day.” You nodded and let Steve lead you into the compound to your room. You wanted to pretend, at least for one night that your world wasn't on fire. You wanted to take one night to not think about how Martin Cobb had robbed you of your family and was doing the same thing to other kids. You didn't want to think about him trying to sell any of those kids to the highest bidder to be their weapon. Steve was right, tomorrow and the days to follow until this was done would be long. You knew wouldn’t rest again until you found Martin Cobb and put a bullet in his head.

[incorrecttwoset]

Lesson time with Dani:

I think the thing we all learned here today is classical music is still very, VERY much alive. And that pop could be a pretty iNtEreStInG way to indoctrinate introduce people to classical music. I've been listening to a bunch of pop lately and honestly? It was a WEIRD experience. I kept getting befuddled by the amount of music there was (3 minutes of catchy beats is nOTHING against a half hour of intense musical dialog, argument, and passion) and the repetitiveness and simplicity of it (like dude wheres the motif? Is the motif your beat? Why is it playing the same thing over and over? Huh?). But, its still good music. There were a couple outliers too, that really gave me an experience. (Check out seasonal feathers by hitoshizuku it broke my heart) Look, what im trying to say is- classical and pop are both amazing genres of music that can do incredible things and I'm just happy that they can coexist together in one... piece? Of music. (My opinion might be a lil different compared to my lesson time on their other vid but hey people change)

So, lets get on with the songs!

Road to Kingdom - T. O. P. (Covered by Golden Child) and Swan Lake - Tchaikovsky. I... honestly, I didn't hear it at first. The electro music covered up much of the phrase. (please forgive my horrible usage of musical terms im just a kid thats really into classical music, in still learning how to understand and appreciate it everyday mkay?) Well, that's what I thought at first but I guess the transition from electro pop to singing along with classical jarred me so much that I had to listen to it a couple times before catching it. Anyways, the singing kinda vibed a lil with the music but when they changed singers or went a higher key, it started loosing that (already really loose) connection because even though I knew the tchaik would go higher, the singer went higher in a different key and it felt pretty weird and strange like what Eddy said. But overall, id listen to it. ...which isn't really that high of praise since I listen to everything (oh man... the days when i could still rap eminem's rap god to perfection...)

Shinhwa - T. O. P. and Swan Lake - Tchaikovsky (again). I'm not mad at them for using this a lot actually. I've been trying to watch the ballet on youtube but my classical music listening and appreciation and understanding skills are not yet that refined. (Aka i was already a goner when aCT ONE SCENE TWO WAS STARTING. Sigh, i need more training... and more Inside the Score) aNYWAYS- To quote Eddy, oh tHATS SO WEIRD. I literally said it at the exact same time as him lol. But like seriously thoooo. I thought it was gonna like, transition to the piece but like. No. They're just... singing to the tune. I mean like, you can't ruin perfection you guys but like- add a tune? Or something of your own? That isnt just lyrics? Ah shit, now I cant stop imaging playboy!Tchaik ugh. Thank you for making my brain run a mile a minute and being the reason why I won't be sleeping for a couple hours.

Top Dog - Topp Dog and Symphony in G Minor, No. 25 - Mozart. When I heard the first notes of the piece, I reacted the same as both of them. Aka, i recognized it but I forgot the name. As you do with classical music. I've always wanted to download and listen to that piece. Maybe this is a sign... Anyways, the piece here really just vibed with the song ykno? I think its because they decided that they didn't want to overpower the piece by slapping their own music on top but like... they accented and accompanied and complimented it without the spotlight being stolen from them. They brought their own little twist to it and I feel like thats why it works so much. But, I still prefer the orig because it isnt just tHREE MINUTES LONG. (cue airhorns and fire emojis) But its a great combo overall. 10 out of 10, would classical again.

Jimin - Lie and La Vida Breve - Manuel de Falla. Honestly, to me, i feel like literally anyone could come up with that tune. Its like, a really fast beat. You know how almost every basic piece of music uses dun dun tss as a beat? Its kinda like that to me. Because, speaking from my own personal opinions here, fast beats sound nice and that doesnt necessarily mean that it was inspired by a fast part in a piece. Or maybe Jimin listens to classical. WhO kNoWs?

Cherry Bullet - Hands Up and Beethoven's Fur Elise. That "EeeEeeeh" part made me laugh out loud the first time i watched this vid. It still jarrs me like oh my god what the heck why. Dude, they literally just slapped that part into different parts of the song and im- you didnt need to give me more reason to be sick of the opening of Fur Elise. I feel like if I listened to that, the opening is gonna be stuck in my head forever. At least they didnt repeat the "EEEEEE" thing. And honestly, id love to agree with the bois on this one but like... the opening of the song itself broke me im so sorry im so hung over this one detail gOD.

Gfriend - Summer Rain and Schumann - Dichterliebe. All i can say in this part is... Thank you editor-san for adding in that one detail those precious boys missed. But, as ive only seriously gotten into classical recently and therefore arent familiar with a lot of composers works, i can only hear the influence in the beginning instrumental of the song. So uh... might give it a listen for detail. But, i probably wont.

And, oh yeah is it just me or do they seem really tired? Or just... kinda out of it in this one? Because at the end, Eddy was just kinda... playin around with ding ding while Brett carries the energy for the both of them. Hope theyre not stressed but if they are, i hope they get some much needed rest and energy. I also wonder what was up with yesterday. Aka, they didn't post a vid yesterday and i got cONCERNED. I just hope theyre alright.

[dreammutual-remade]

high school!donghyuck

request: idk if you’re taking reqs but i really like ur highscool aus so if u want to write one abt hyuck ill be :^))))))) - anonymous

word count: 5.1k

a/n: oof its been awhile unnies!!!! ive had exams for the past two weeks and I still have exams now so im sorry for not posting anything but reblogs with headassery in the tags!!! we are continuing the high school series n renjun is next!! since I got like 3 requests for him !!!!! hhehhehehheheh its gonna b cute <3 anyways hope u enjoy this I love my lil duckie baby

masterlist

mark, renjun, jeno, donghyuck, jaemin, chenle, jisung

big oof i’m gonna cry while writing this

i’m running out of creative ways to say let’s dive in

let us take the plunge

okay!!!!!!!!!! so you’ve been an editor/writer for the school paper for pretty much all of your high school career

you’re not super well known though because you don’t try to take any credit for anything and always sign your pieces like “- the daily newspaper team” or smth 

anywhom you’ve always loved writing about the stuff around you or making up little short stories

one of your hobbies is just going people watching and trying to write down a brief description of people you see and what you think they’re on the way to do

you’ve befriended the baristas at your favorite spot, lucas and mark, and they always beg to read them but you never let them because mark is too nice to tell you it’s shit and lucas is too dumb to at least say it nicely

you’ve got at least 6 notebooks FULL of these little stories but you’ve never really ? showed anyone because wow showing others your work is Scary

criticism ???/$&/&:&:&:

it’s midway through the first semester of the school year and you’ve been super busy since it’s football season and you gotta write about all the games

and you haven’t had much time to write your cute little stories for yourself and you miss it a lot :/

this weekend though the chance of rain is SUPER high so the football game is cancelled and you have plenty of time to yourself !! :D

there is, a setback tho

THUNDER!!!!! IS SO SCARY !!!!!!

u fckin softie

you decide to tough it out though and get suited up in some polka dot rain boots and a rain jacket and set off to find somewhere to chill

as you’re walking to the nearest lil greenhouse/cafe thing it starts raining ,, ,,, hARDER

when you started it wasn’t rlly raining it was just like that weird tension in the air right before the air pressure drops and it starts to rain and you were already on edge OOF

but then it’s raining so you clutch your notebook to your chest and dash

usain bolt had nothing on you girly you were ZOOM ZOOM

broom broom- doyoung

unfortunately you don’t make it though because with you head down to keep the rain out of your eyes you run RIGHT into someone’s CHEST !!!!!!

hehe u know i’m a sucker for these god damn TROPES

your notebook goes flying and and the arms attached to the Chest That Caused Your Grief come up to catch you by the arms

“oh gOD sorry are you okay ??? i wasn’t looking and i was trying to keep my journal dr- MY JOURNALSDJDDD”

you fling yourself out of this boys arms and pick up your soaking wet journal sadly

:((((((( you had so many stories in there wtf

“oh shit i’m sorry do you uh want me to buy you another one ???”

“no that’s okay it wasn’t your fault :( and it’s just a journal i’m only sad because all my stories are gone :(((((“

you finally look up from your Ruined journal to see , the prettiest boy

you can’t tell for sure cause his hair is soaking wet but it’s a bright red that looks a bit faded and his skin is tanned and golden like HONEY OOF

he meets your eyes and awkwardly smiles and he looks so GUILTY AW

“no really it’s fine don’t feel bad!!”

“okay but i feel bad what can i do to make it up to you?”

“hMMM you could come help me think of wacky stories about people who walk past”

“well if you INSIST m’lady”

“aw, never mind”

“IM JUST KIDDING SJDJJD”

so in the pouring rain you both walk to cafe and find a little corner to people-watch in

on the way there he tells you his name is donghyuck but his friends call him hyuck

“dude that’s the sound goofy makes when he laughs your friends are terrible”

“oh my god i don’t even think they know what they’re saying HsjdjHEHHS”

after a couple minutes of bad goofy impressions you decide to call him duckie instead because ,,,, GARSH MICKEY 🤠🤠🤠

also because it’s cute

you didn’t hear this from me but he uwued so hard rip his street cred with the Boys

anyways right before you settle in you’re like hey uh did you have somewhere to be like weren’t you heading places

and he was like nah i like the rain it’s nice to just walk around feels GOOD

your eyes widen so big and he snorts because what’s so ridiculous about that

and you’re like uh UH NO NOPE NO SIR I DONT FUCK WITH DEMONS

your dramatic ass tries to get up and LEAVE but he grabs your wrist and is like noooo we haven’t even written any stories yet why do you hate rain so much ??

you explain how thunder is the work of the devil and that lightning could strike you down where you stand at any moment and storms are EVIL

he chuckles and side eyes you

“aW you big wimp you’re afraid of thunderstorms aren’t you”

“yES. like any sane person would be”

“you know a lot of people actually like storms”

“like i said, SANE people do not”

and then you change the subject right quick because your face is getting RED with embarrassment

you n donghyuck spend like 2 hours just sitting in the corner and writing little scenarios on napkins

“oh shit that girl over there with the french braids is TOTALLY gonna marry hipster beanie guy in two years. mark my words”

“idk y/n she lowkey has the hots for the barista”

“ ew you mean mark??”

“yeah. now THAT man is a work of art”

MARKHYUCK RISE

“god what is wrong with you maybe you should buy me another book”

“too late now we’re FRIENDS and i don’t owe you ANYTHING”

“being friends doesn’t work like that at all but, okay”

at the end of the day you’ve got a stack of napkins with scribbled notes on them

(one of them has donghyuck’s number on it skdkkfjd)

he leaves you with a bright smile and you’re in awe this boy is so golden and lovely

oof and when you were still in the cafe his hair had dried to the unnatural red color that he ? somehow made look good ugh not fAIR

and it was a lil curly and fluffy and looked very soft :(((((

as you walk home you drift along the sidewalk with a stupid smile on your face wow please get a little less obvious hunty

when you get home the sun is setting and the rain has cleared and you are so Happy that was the best day !!!

you weren’t even scared of the thunder because whenever the sky would fckin CRACK OPEN hyuck would subtly try to keep your attention and distract you with questions

the sky: AAAAAAAAAAA

duckie: oH Hey uhhh so hOW do you even come up these stories ?):$:$ theyre so good

such a sweet boy uwu

when you get home your mom eyes you suspiciously as you drift down the hall towards your room but doesn’t comment

she didn’t need to though because you immediately return and tell her everything !!!

she encourages you to befriend him at school and see where it goes from there ;))) or just TEXT HIM

so you do

both of those things !!!

you: hey!! it’s y/n btw

duckie: hey! u make it home alive without the sky cracking open and killing u

you: stOP MAKING FUN OF ME

you send him memes and he sends , even better ones back this boy is Husband Material

the next couple weeks you realize that hyuck is actually in like a lot of your classes

and he’s like yeah i don’t blame you for not noticing since your nose is always in one of those Damn Journals

can’t believe u smh

anywhom

you start actually interacting with people in class

and by people i mean donghyuck and any of his friends who happen to be there

you literally get thrown into their friendgroup like one day you know donghyuck and have vaguely heard of jeno since he’s on the soccer team

and then the next you’re a part of the group message and jaemin begs for your math homework during lunch ????

“jaemin just dO YOUR OWN HOMEWORK FOR ONCE ???”

“ugh but i don’t know how”

“hey you know what maybe if you didn’t sleep in class you WOULD”

“IM TIRED GOD DAMN IT”

this is usually when duckie interjects with

“hey now girls, you’re both smart <3”

“i know im smart but , jaemin , i don’t know about him 😔😔”

poor jaemin leave him alone :(

jisung is , extREMELY awkward around you because he’s a Baby Freshman and you’re a Female Senior hsjdjf it’s so cute

and chenle is the complete opposite he IMMEDIATELY latches onto you and is always like

“y/n !!!! wanna watch this video of me singing and playing the piano when i was thirteen on live national television !!!!”

“y/N !!!!!!! can you drive me n jisung to get ice cream plEASE !!! we won’t even play PSY this time”

“okay,,,,, pinky promise?”

his pinky hooks around yours at an incredible speed as he jumps up and down with excitement

“pinky promise !!!!!!!!!!”

hyuck overhears and insists upon coming with for , unknown reasons

renjun and jeno keep snickering to each other across the lunch table too uGH

sneaky bastards !

after school you wait in the parking lot for the Babies with hyuck who looks rather flushed considering his skin is pretty tan and it takes a lot for him to visibly blush ??

“hey duckie boy you good?”

“haha yEAH uh just wondering where the boys are hhhh”

“oh yeah ! they should’ve been here like 10 mins ago”

your phone buzzes in your pocket and you go to check it to see a text in the group message

lele: hey y/n~ me n jisung can’t come we totally forgot we joined a frisbee team and there’s practice today !!!

blueberry: yeah ! have fun w/ hyuckie tho

moominluvr96: sjdjd i’m so proud of them

jenomunomunomu: absolute legends have fun at ur frisbee practice my sons

you: 🅱️ro i wanted to go home and SLEEP

blueberry: sorry ! xoxo :*

duckie: chenle my son ? how could you 🅱️etray me this way???

you: ur dead to me

you: literally what’s a chenle ?? sounds like a poisonous fruit

lele: NO IM SORRY

but tbh you’re just being Silly you don’t mind just going with Sunshine Boy

hyuck has only gotten redder as the texting went on though what’s his deal 0.0

you agree to take his car !

actually you insist because you don’t wanna drive but, let’s say you agreed

you find out that hyuck exclusively listens to hipster bands and the occasional troye sivan song because we love a gay legend

actually his music taste is ALL OVER THE PLACE but we r still boppin ladies

you roll the windows down even tho it’s Chilly and let your hand float in the breeze until your fingers start getting numb and you pull your hand back in and roll up the window

okay maybe that was a Bad Idea your fingers almost hurt they’re so cold and you’re rubbing the feeling back into them when hyuck clears his throat

you look up at him and he tilts his chin toward the hand he stretched toward you

you’re confused bc like ? i don’t have anything to give u duckie

he sighs anxiously

“just. give me your hand. mine are warm because i didn’t try to be cool and stick my hand out the window like this is a teen coming of age movie”

“have you ever just been nice and not followed it up with a weirdly specific insult”

“nope. now gimme”

you cautiously placed your hand in his and felt heat bloom all over your cheeks and trail up to your ears and down your neck

he gulps and interlocks your fingers and tucks them in the pocket of his hoodie

you have to lean against the console in between you a little so that your arm isn’t strained but it’s,,,,, Warm and Nice

you’re quick to continue the conversation like normal but your voice sometimes goes in and out since he is subconsciously rubbing his thumb over the back of your hand or tapping his fingers against yours

when you arrive you awkwardly pull your hand from his grip to get out of the car and he cringes a lil :(

you decide to be bold for once in your life and run around the car to catch up with him and shove your other hand into his

“this one’s cold too”

he ducks his head and smiles but gives your hand a lil squeeze :3 uwu

eventually though you do have to let go and enjoy your ice cream

you just make small talk with him about the newspaper and whatever homework is due the next day when a man walks in wearing BRIGHT RED CLOWN SHOES

the weirdest part though is the fact that other than the clown shoes the man is dressed like a body builder and has the hulking mass of one

and also there is a PARROT ON HIS SHOULDER ???

you and hyuck whip to face each other and then look back at the man

without looking away you slide your notebook to the middle of the table and flip open to where you’ve bookmarked the next available page

needless to say you both have a field day making up storylines for this man

“hey hyuckie i missed this it’s been forever since it’s been just the two of us and my journal”

“me too, sunshine”

“heY now you’re the sunshine in this relationship”

both of you choke at your use of the term “relationship” but continue with the conversation JSKSK

“alright but then you have to be the rain”

“aw you know i don’t like the rain”

“yes i know that’s why YOU are sunshine”

“kay but you are so much more like sunshine than i, an Emo”

“how bout i be sunshine since you like sunshine and me, and you be rain since i like rain and you”

OOF ????????

you blush for the Millionth Time and nod shyly and duckie is about to turn purple YIKES

you leave the ice cream shop and climb back in the car and the whole atmosphere is very Tense

you sigh because you miss holding his hand and then turn up the song on the radio which just happens to be, Walkin On Sunshine

THE !!! IRONY !!!

you giggle into your hand and he snorts and you both break into laughter

you plug your phone into the aux

“alright time for some Real Tunes”

“i swear to GOD if you play Bad Boy one more time i’m gonna LOSE IT”

“fuck you red velvet are LEGENDS”

“the only reason you know who they are is because mark tells everyone with a pulse that one of them is from canada just like him”

“okay and ??? i can still appreciate that they produce iconic songs only”

“LISTEN I LOVE RED VELVET TOO BUT ENOUGH IS ENOUGH”

you playfully bicker the whole way back and when you get back to the school to pick up your car you realize you never even got to play your song

“for your information, i was in fact NOT going to play bad boy i was going to play the bop of the century, what is love by twice”

and then, with heavy sarcasm

“well gee why didn’t you just sAY SO”

“IM SICK OF YOUR GIRL GROUP SLANDER LEE DONGHYUCK”

then he giggles and grabs your hand to keep you from getting more than halfway out of the car

“okay okay you know i’m just messing with you”

“yes but leave my gorls out of it”

he releases your hand with fake disgust and wipes it on the passenger seat headrest

“ugh go home, gru”

“it’s a good meme and you can’t even deny it duckie boy”

you blow him a half serious half playful kiss as you bounce over to your car and climb in

you play bad boy and roll the windows down as you drive by his car just to spite him and he laughs good naturedly

it’s only when you get home that you’re like heyyyy nOW

WAS THAT A DATE ??????

you tell your mom about it and she’s like uHHH sounds like a DATE to me ???

but you’re Unsure so you don’t say anything to the others or hyuck just the usual goodnight texts and whatnot

although it could be argued ,, that goodnight texts are a little, relationship-y

it could also be argued , that you do have his contact name as , duckie☼♥

but those can be discussed another time

you continue to hang out with the boys although you refuse to allow them to sit with you at football games because they’re so DISTRACTING

jeno and jisung just fckin yell the whole time while you try to jot notes down to turn it into a story later for the paper

but you can’t concentrate or even figure out wtf is goin on because they’re scREAMING and jumping and messing you uP !

so you sent them elsewhere although,,, hyuck stayed with you

he always does “just in case you get cold or smth”

ur not fooling anyone hyuckie baby

and would you look at that time has FLOWN and it’s time for homecoming !!!!

you plan on going in a big group with hyuck and all The Boys and jaemin has even scored a date !!!

it was highkey through trickery but that’s okay

chenle and jisung are gonna wear matching shirts because they’re headass like that

you’ve already bought a dress and you haven’t ….. shown hyuckie……. just in case……… he asks you

since he…… hasn’t …… YET

renjun keeps assuring you that you don’t need to find a date and that everything is covered but ???? inch resting how duckie has done nOT ONE THING

alright the day of the dance you wake up feeling a little off but go through your normal saturday routine of eating a waffle and absentmindedly watching old gossip girl reruns

but later in the day you feel SHITTY

you’re flushed and your head hurts and it takes so much EFFORT just to get up and get a glass of water

you , comrade, are sick :-(

you text in the gm to let your boys know you can’t come

chenle thinks you’re faking until he calls and hears you sniffling and how rough your voice sounds

“hEY THOT I KNOW UR FAKING BC U DONT HAVE A DATE”

“chenle if it didn’t hurt to speak i would yell at u but my eyes are watering please just text me”

“oh,,,,sorry love u”

and then he hangs up real fast lmao

so you decide to just wallow in despair in your bed and rent overpriced movies on demand

there’s a half drank mug of tea that has long gone cold that contains the medicine you’re supposed to be taking but,, you can’t be bothered tbh lifting your hand is so hard

after a few movies and the sun setting there’s knock at the door ???

you barely hear it since you’re in your room with the door closed but /sigh/ you gotta go answer

you drag yourself out of bed and stumble to the front door and open it, immediately slumping against the frame

this whole time you have still not opened your eyes because light hurts a lil and you know your house well enough

in hindsight that was probably dumb considering you don’t know who’s at the door

you try to open your eyes but they only turn half lidded and droopy so you can just barely make out donghyuck looking Concerned on your front porch

“duckie? what are u doing here?”

“uhhh i uh came to take you to homecoming ??”

he then holds up some flowers and smiles awkwardly

“duckie. baby. sunshine. did u not read the texts i sent ? also it is VERY late to be asking me to homecoming. also, i am a little high on cold medication”

“srry princess, can i come in? you look like you need company and soup and possibly some Sarcastic Banter”

“sounds good duck”

“okay duckie was already incorrect please don’t shorten it to duck”

“you know i didn’t have to let you in”

“so what kind of soup do you want? :-)”

he busies himself attempting to make soup while you have melted into a chair at the dining table with one eye cracked open to watch him

he is very obviously Struggling so you wobble to your feet to stand behind him at the stove and maybe lean a little too much into his back to prop your chin up on his shoulder and reach a hand around him to turn the heat down on the stove

you’ve reached the point of I Don’t Give A Shit and have given up on trying not to be affectionate with him you’re too tired and sickly to restrain yourself and his heart is just steadily beating faster and faster

after your soup you drag him into your bedroom to force him to provide you warmth while watching another movie

but he digs his heels into the floor and tugs on your hand to turn you around

“since you’re missing homecoming….. wanna dance?”

“in my bedroom. while i’m dying. with no music.”

“i’ll take care of the music. cmon don’t be difficult”

“i’m not being difficult i’m just-

you’re cut off by him pressing a finger to your lips and going shhhhhh

you open your mouth to curse him out bc hOW DARE HE

but then he gently pulls you by the waist into his chest and does his best to tuck you under his chin

you’re too comfortable like this so you don’t bother admonishing him for earlier and just settle into his embrace

you loop your arms around his neck as he starts to sway you back and forth

after a couple seconds he starts humming, quietly at first and then louder

and then he starts singing and it’s so sO SWEET AND SOFT

you can feel each breath he takes under your hands and the vibrating of his vocal chords against your forehead and you just close your eyes and press closer to him

you’ve literally never been this content in your whole life binch

he is so warm and ever so often smooths a hand up and down your spine whenever you shiver a little or shift in his arms

when the song finishes you keep swaying with him a little while longer

you’re leaning against him so hard that like the majority of your weight is on him yikes

“babe are you asleep”

“mm”

“no?”

“mmm”

“pretty close though?”

“hm”

“alright”

he chuckles and presses a barely there kiss to the top of your head and sort of waddles the two of you over to the bed

you don’t even have to ask him to climb in with you that was The Plan, Stan

(that’s a saying and also i’m calling u a stan wow queen of puns)

as soon as he settles in you tuck yourself under his arm and throw an arm over him to play with the fingers of his other hand

you’ve got the breakfast club on and it’s Real Nap Hours

hyuck’s arm falls asleep pretty soon tho so instead you switch to laying on your sides facing each other with your face pressed into his neck and your arms draped over each other

right before you fade into unconciousness, he tilts his chin down and nudges his nose against yours to get your attention

your eyes flutter open and you look up at him while he smiles gently down at your sleepy expression aWE ???

“hey wanna be my date when you’re not on your death bed?”

“god, what a romantic. is that a shakespeare quote?”

“shut up and say yes”

“alright fine”

“with more enthusiasm!”

“YES!! GOD DAMN IT”

he shakes his head but then leans down to press a lingering kiss against your cheek before tucking you back against him and evening out his breathing

you fall asleep and dream of boys with beautiful voices who love to dance in the rain

a couple hours later you wake up to a forehead smooch and your Boy whispering bye angel

you sit up and whine and he’s like bby i have to go it’s like midnight n my momma wants me home :(((

you pout and he giggles and taps your lips with his index finger

“go back to sleep and i’ll text you something nice to wake up to yeah?”

you nod and grab his hand to kiss it before flopping back down and passing The Fuck Out

the next morning you wake up still feeling a bit shitty but smiling anyways bc you’ve scored the cutest boy in the universe uwu

he even kept his promise and left you a cute message to wake up to ;((((

duckie☼♥: good morning bbg i hope ur feeling better today and that the sun shines all day for u !!!

you: JEKDKDJ DUCKIE IM STILL SICK BUT TAKE ME ON A DATE RN

you: 💗💗💗💕💌💞💞💗😤💖🤧😔💗😔🤧😔🌺💐🌺🌺🌸💐😔💛😔💛💐🤧💐💐💖💖

duckie☼♥: noooo ur gross

you: you ruined it :(((

duckie☼♥: i mean noooo u gotta get better

you: okay :)))

you finally get over your cold like 4 days later and insist you’re fine to be Taken Out And Treated Like A Princess

he tells you to dress warm except gloves bc he wants to hold youR HAND CAN YOU BELIEVE

you’re weirdly not nervous ? like you thought you would be but you’re just excited and very happy !!!! uwu

he picks you up about an hour after school and reveals that he’s gonna take you to all the cafes in town to people watch and write stories which is !!! your favorite activity !!!!!!

“is it lame??? oh god you think it’s lame i’m so sORRY”

“nO!!! no i love it you did good”

“are you sure?”

“yes duckie”

“okay good i mean i knew you’d like it”

“but you just-“

“hm?”

“,,,,, nevermind”

you both hike around town until it gets late and you’re tired and you end up on a bench in the local park with his head in your lap and your fingers in his hair

you lightly scratch his scalp and hum and he practically PURRS like a cat

(furry ????? it’s more likely than you think)

his eyes are closed and you trace your fingers over his features lightly until it tickles and he scrunches up his nose aw bABY !!!!!

then, without opening his eyes

“so when are you gonna man up and kiss me?”

“first of all, i will never man up i prefer being female thanks. sECOND WHY DO I GOTTA DO IT”

“i asked you on the date !!! you gotta do something!!!”

“i held your hand first!!”

“after i literally offered my hand to you”

“uGH fine come here”

“no i’m not gonna ‘come here’ you literally just made a disgusted noise at the thought of kissing me”

“it wasn’t at the thought of kissing you it was just at you”

“this isn’t helping at all”

you roll your eyes playfully and then yank him up by the collar of his shirt to press your forehead against his

“does this help?”

aND THEN YOU LAY ONE ON HIM ??????:$&:&;&;

QUEEN OF CONFIDENCE

he sighs against your lips and sits up a little more so he can reach you better, smoothing a hand up to cup the side of your jaw and neck

you pull away and his eyes are still closed

“hmmm,,, yeah”

you scoff and drop him back to half laying on your lap

“you’re such a dork”

“yeah but i’m your dork now so it’s embarrassing for both of us”

“aw i wouldn’t have it any other way <333”

“is it just me or was that sarcasm”

“just you <3333”

renjun, who has been rOOTING FOR YOU GUYS THIS ENTIRE TIME

screams when you call him that night lol

literally SCREECHES

chenle happens to be with him and screeches eVEN LOUDER

basically the whole group screams simultaneously they’ve been shipping it since day one

hyuck is a bit prideful so when you guys are out in public he’s not super affectionate but ,, when you’re not out

he’s wrapped around you like a koala and will never let go

you have to go pee? hold it

you’re dehydrated and dying? you can live off of his Love

your favorite activity to do together is BAKING because it never goes well no matter how hard you try

and although it usually ends in DISASTER it’s also a good time and afterwards duckie lets you curl up between his legs on the couch and nap uwu !

dating really didn’t change the dynamic between you two other than affection you still read each other to DUST on the regular  lmao

no one gets too harsh tho bc you love each other and whatnot

ugh love ruins all the FUN doesnt it :/

donghyuck makes it his business to know exactly when it will rain and makes sure to be with you when it does

at the first sight of clouds he is in your house with board games and movies and snuggles to distract you !!! what a sweetheart

on days when it’s really bad you just climb into bed and bury your face in his chest while he talks about whatever comes to mind and distracts you

he also takes to slumping down and falling asleep on your shoulder whenever you have movie nights together and it’s so CUTE

his little heart shaped lips and his cheeks always end up smushed and he just looks adorable wow rip you

he’s obsessed with your cheeks he loves to cup your face while he talks to you and press gentle kisses to them during Sleepy Time or when you part ways in the school hallways

if he’s excited he’ll bound up behind you and wrap his arms around you and kiss your cheek real hard and then start babbling about whatever’s got him so worked up

basically, hyuckie is a boy full of sunshine and passion and sarcasm and he’s the best boyfriend you could ever ask for :’-)

[mceproductions]

June 2018 Blurbs

6/1/18 Spent morning with mom at Kohls, nice time just wished it hadnt prempted my intended plans. Looking forward to Sophie and Marks wedding, tomorrow. 6/2/18 The rain fell, but the spirits wern't dampened as Sophie and Mark tied the knot, beautiful venue. Great party, only wished they'd played my song choice before i left though. Not sure if they had showed my video either. At least I got things squared away with Lisa. 6/3/18 Dad's problem with Casinos becomes more and more apparent. Just wished he possibly wasnt doing this intentionally to rile up Mom. 6/4/18 Well, my eye was giving me issues all day, and the store had more of them. 6/5/18 Well, my vest vansihed on me and i panicked for nearly 2 hours until I saw it balled up inbetween crack on reciving desk. Got to be careful where i see that thing. 6/6/18 Andrew grows clingier by the day. No Connor around really must aliviate his bordeom about being a burnout. Also peeved about RWBY Volume 5 Blu-Ray being produced so crappily. Not a fan of Rush Jobs, see Solo A Star Wars Story for Rush Job example. 6/7/18 Schedule at the store now really getting pressed with issues. But in terms of secrecy. Began DuoLingo application Hoping Tick can help me with cover letter as he did with Dad. Glad Ovechkin finally claimed a cup, even more so for Jared somehow he is a die hard Caps fan. 6/8/18 Ocean's 8 Was a lot better than i thought it'd be. Lebron on the other hand, down in flames. Worst NBA Finals Ever. 6/9/18 Quiet saturday, helped them with garden, then spent day painting shelving units. Material though may not support paints. 6/10/18 Ive seen only bits and pieces of the original FLCL, but even then you can tell the visuals and sound outplayed the story. But FLCL Progressive ups the game, and yet still seems lacking. Maybe the girl with the Cat earphones, has something to do with it. But will see the other 4 episodes to make sure. 6/11/18 Welcome surprise came today with early digital release of one of my favorite shows of last year Sakura Quest. Only the first half of the show mind you, but yoshi and company still had some great moments in this part. 6/12/18 Trump somehow ups himself when it comes to doing what we consider, career killing. Today its his meeting with Randall Park in Singapore. Somehow all the hype once again dilutes his realities. Better at making nice with our worst than being respectable with our best. Like the e3 shows i watched today as well (Yay Fortnite and SSB Ultimate) Im cautiosly optomistic. 6/13/18 On a day when i was set to work on stuff my mind was on two things, 1 how Doug Walker aka Nostalgia Critic managed to defy the odds and not sink that Channel Awesome company. and, that racoon in St. Paul climbing that building with an audience that size. I surly wouldn't be climbing that high. 6/14/18 Andy, Grandma and that loser of our president all came into existence today. At least Gramps classic story about the flags of flag day all being thier to welcome her to our country still rings proudly today. Although that just makes me wish I had known my other Gramps. 6/15/18 Incredibles 2, it may have been 14 years later, but this was well worth the wait. Holly Hunter and Sarah Vowell were the easy standouts once again. Really glad this came out this year instead of that Toy Story 4 nonsense. Also Fortnite on Switch, not that great a start, Andrew seemed more taken to it, especially when he officially got his hands on my Switch. Hoping to get better. 6/16/18 The washer finally gave out, they grabbed a new one while i retuned outside for a shift in the heat pushing carts. The guy helping out though, Josh seemes miffed nealry every time im outside. 6/17/18 Dad's day, loving the new washer even though its top loading, not loving all this rain coming with it. Watched Andrew seem to master the switch controls and get really good, really quick. Not sure what to do or invest in second dock station so i can rotate between the two tv's. 6/18/18 More work on DuoLingo and moved around nearly all my movie posters, Yay Ant Man and the Wasp. Wish the other 20 items i had on ebay were selling like my other stuff. 6/19/18 Trump, i thoughtd id seen it all, this just seems inhumane by his standards. Glorified concentration camps. Securing borders may be imperative but losing our humanity to do it makes me wonder what we've become in 18 months of him. The midterms cant get here sooner. 6/20/18 Pickup today, somehow an additional 6 hours doesnt make up for stuff that i need to get done. 6/21/18 Always a good day when packages addressed to me show up. But 5 at once, yay me. 6/22/18 Connor's 18th and me forgot a gift. Also dont like Friday trucks. 6/23/18 Quiet at the store, more so in the back. 6/24/18 Jurassic World does make an impressive sequel. Baffling Logic though but it is visually neat. 6/25/18 Not Much for today. Trump sucks the usual stuff. Hat for all star game showed up though, yay me. 6/26/18 First of 3 before wedding, and last in the back for 3 weeks. Really love doing time lapse shots with Ipad, though theft risk is high up on the list. 6/27/18 Doing carts from 2-11 is no picnic. and somehow Gabe is back. 6/28/18 Hot day with it being hotter tomorrow, that boat better be worth boiling over. 6/29/18 Watched Troy and Sarah W. get married on a boat. Very hot day, worse with having to help Grandma getting around Waupaca and Amherst. It was enjoyable being out on the lake. Not so much, having to constantly refuse sleeping in the same bed as your parents and grandmother. Im 30, people dont do that at age 30 ill gladly take the floor. 6/30/18 Unforutantley due to Grandmas night episode, our 2 day excursion just turned into a measley 28 Hours. Ambrosia does look nicer than i pictured. But we just absolutely could not stand the heat at all.

[ungarmax]

All the vidya game asks tho. All Of Them

1. Favorite game from the last 5years?

Idon’t even know what came out within the last five years.  I thinkI’m gonna have to go with Stardew Valley?  It’s my game on Steam withthe second most hours logged, but the one that has the most hourslogged came out 6 years ago.  I haven’t played it in a while, but Ido really like it.

2.Most nostalgic game?

Hmm. That’s probably a tie between Link’s Awakening and Final Fantasy IV. Link’s Awakening was the first non computer video game I ever owned,and FF4 was my first RPG.  That said, there’s a special place in myheart for the old SNES version of Wing Commander, the game Icommandeered at my cousins’ house every weekend.

3.Game that deserves a sequel?

Thething is, the best games in the world are the ones that don’t needsequels because they’re very well self-contained, or they’re alreadya part of a series.  I’m tempted to say Chrono Trigger, becauseChrono Cross doesn’t count as a sequelso much as a spiritual successor.  But I also want my children torest.

4.Game that deserves a remaster?

Inever trust these…sometimes they are done well, like the remastersof FF4 and Chrono Trigger for DS, those were both excellent.  But Ilook into the future and think about how the FF7 remaster is going totake out all the dumb 90s cool guy lingo, and then I don’t like it somuch.

UnlessI’m wrong about what a remaster is?  Because I just remembered thatwhen they rereleased FFX with better graphics, that was called aremaster.

Eitherway, I just suddenly decided I need a new version of Quidditch WorldCup because that was the fucking best game ever made.

5.Favorite game series?

Ihaven’t kept up to date with a lot of game series, thanks to lack offunds for the past few years, and most of the series I enjoy, Igenerally really like a couple of the games from it and eitherdislike or haven’t played the rest.  Contenders are Final Fantasy,Metal Gear Solid, AceAttorney, and Legend ofZelda.  But I’m way behind on all fourof them, and Final Fantasy has been…disappointinglately, to say the least.

Oh! Dragon Age has been pretty dang good thus far!

6.Favorite genre?

Ireally love RPGs, but lately I’ve been playing nothing but this citybuilder/RTS game and a couple of rogue-likes.  I also love MMORPGs,but I haven’t had the money to pay for a WoW subscription in manyyears, and, uh, I only own up to Cataclysm, lol.  Oh, and good ol’point and clicks hold a special place in my heart too.

7.Least favorite genre?

Firstperson shooters and platformers.  I also usually dislike rogue-likes because I liketo min-max and the point of rogue-likes is that you literally cannotdo that.

8.Favorite song from a game?

ThePrice of Freedom, from Crisis Core.

9.Favorite character from a game?

FarisSherwiz from FF5.

10.Favorite ship from a game?

WOWwhat a question.  I think I’m gonna have to go with Zack Fair/CloudStrife, since it’s something I’ve shipped consistently for 15 years.

11.Favorite voice actor from a game?

Ilike a whole lot of them, but I’m particularly fond of ChristopherRandolph’s voice.  It’s to my extreme sadness that he’s not done muchother than Voice Of Otacon, but that’s okay.  Apparently, he’s beendoing more since MGS, so that’s cool, but I’ve still barely heard ofanything he’s been in.

12.Favorite cutscene?

Thefirst thing that came to mind was The Sending in FFX.  Anothercontenders is Zack and Cloud escaping the lab in OG FF7 (as long asyou turn off the game right after the truck scene).  Those are thetwo I always keep save files right before that.  Though I will saythat the scene in MGS before you fight the Boss in the flower field,or really, the entire ending cinematic of that game, is fuckingamazing too.

13.Favorite boss?

GOD,WHAT A QUESTION.  Does this mean, favorite boss battle?  Or favoritecharacter who is also a boss fight?

Myfavorite kind of boss is a difficult one that you need some sort ofstrategy to beat, so that you feel vindicated for winning.  However,that said, this can border on annoying too, because, if it’s amandatory battle that you can get stuck on, that’s frustrating.  So Iguess optional bosses are the best?  I’m thinking like Ruby andEmerald in FF7, and Sephiroth in Kingdom Hearts.  I also tend toreally like Zelda bosses because you can’t just hit ‘em, you gottafigure out how to use your brand new toy to do it.  (Exceptthe water bosses for some reason?  They all suck.)

Myfavorite character that you fight as a boss battle…probably Golbezor Kain Highwind from FF4.  Which do I like better?  I don’t know. There’s also the Boss from MGS3, of course.  AndMiles Edgeworth?  He’s a boss, right? There are probably more that I can’t think of right now.

14.First console?

Thefirst console I ever played was an NES, but the first one I everowned was a SNES.

15.Current console or consoles?

NES,SNES, N64, GameCube, Wii, PSX, PS2, and PS3.  I also have a GameBoyColor, a DS, and a 3DS by technicality.

16.Console you want?

I’dlove a PS4, but it’s not like I can afford any games for it anyway.

17.Place from a game that you’d like to visit?

Thisis a really intriguing question, since games like Final Fantasy havesuch interesting and beautiful locations.  There are so manybeautiful places just within the few FF games I’ve actually playedthat this is a really hard choice.  The problem is that all theseplaces generally have monsters in them.

MaybeCleyra or the Farplane or the City of the Ancients?

18.Place from a game that you’d like to live in?

Doyou think Cosmo Canyon has WiFi?

19.Ridiculous crossover that would never happen but would be super fun?

FF4/TAZcrossover where apparently Lucretia is FuSoYa because they’re both incharge of fake moons.

20.Book that would make a good game?

I’mso tired right now I can’t think of a single book I’ve ever read inmy entire life.  Like, the book I am reading right now is based on avideo game, so, I mean,

21.Show/Movie that would make a good game?

MacGyver! (Thank you, @perniciouslizard.)  Like, it should be a point and click game,probably based on the old show because it had less boring fightscenes, and you can do QTEs for those even though I hate QTEs.  Aslong as the game isn’t entire QTEs (I’m looking at you, Heavy Rain),it should be okay.

22.Games you want to play?

Thereare a Lot.  Off the top of my head, I’d really love to finish DragonAge: Inquisition, and just to play, Persona 5, Breathof the Wild, allthe Ace Attorney games I haven’t played yet (there are at least 2,maybe more?), all the Pokemon games I haven’t played yet (whichis…most), Oxygen Not Included, all the Mass Effect games andFallout games, Night in theWoods, aaaand probably lots of others.  I’m tired.

23.Have you gotten 100% completion in a game?

Yep. I have 100%ed FF4, I think, and also Link’s Awakening.  Maybeothers, but those are the two I was proudest of.  Actually, I don’tknow if FF4 counts?  I got all the items (except possibly theincredibly rare thing with a ridiculous drop rate, but I don’tremember?  I got all the extra summons for Rydia, though, which was aThing), but I didn’t level everyone up to 99.  I’m working on a 100%FF7 run right now, but that’s gonna be a pain because I don’t knowhow to play the Fort Condor minigame.  I usually just let them get tothe top and beat them up, but you can’t get all the items if you dothat.

24.Have you cried over a game?

Thismorning I cried because my cat scratched me while I was clipping hisclaws.  I cry playing basically every video game, whether or not it’ssad.  My top three crying games, though, in no particular orderbecause they’re all Really Fucking Sad, are FFX, Crisis Core, andMGS3.

25.What power-up or ability would you want IRL?

*thumbto bandana* Infinite ammo.

[littlebitoffanfic]

Bizarrely Perfect

Fandom: The Rocky Horror Picture Show Characters: Riff Raff, Magenta, Columbia Relationship: Riff Raff/reader Request: I have a strange request. You don’t have to do it if you don’t want. But can you write one for riffraff from rocky horror picture show where the reader stumbles on the castel because shes been in an accident or something. And riff raff doesn’t want Frank to see her because he wants to keep her for himself? If you can, can you add in that the readers just broke up with someone and is lonely and wants him? Hi, im the one who requested the riffraff x reader. I was wondering if I could add another little detail? The reader meets magenta and the two become really close friends cause the reader decides to stay with them cause she doenst have anyone else and the two adore her and want to take her back to their home planet? Riff Raff never thought he would come face to face with angel on this god forsaken planet. But as he walked to the main door and opened in, he came face to face with you. You were nearly completely drenched from rain, some rain drops clinging to your long eyelashes. Your bottom lip was quivering slightly from coldness and your cheeks were red. You were wearing a tight, black dress which flared out at the bottom. It was shoulder less and hugged your body in the most sensual way. You had a black coat draped over your shoulders and matching black heels. There was a several small cuts on your body which he could see. One on your forehead, a couple on your neck and shoulders and on your hands. it was really late at night and, if Riff Raff hadn’t need to finish cleaning the stairs, he would have begrudged having to get up. “I am so sorry to bother you, sir, but I was just in an accident and the other car drove off.” You explained, your voice shaking slightly. You didn’t know if it was because you were still in shock, because of the coldness or because of the mans gaze on you. He seemed transfixed with you, like he had never seen a more beautiful woman before in his life. “come in.” Riff Raff stepped aside, letting you step inside. He closed his eyes briefly as you walked by him, your sweet perfume sending his world to heaven. “Thank you, I really appreciate it. My cars completely wreaked. And even if I do manage to get in contact with a towing company, they wont come out in this weather.” You crossed your arms over and rubbed the skin, trying to stop the numbness. But Riff Raffs mind was racing. he knew he couldn’t let the master know you were here. The second the masters sinful gaze fell upon you, there was no escape. And, while Riff Raff couldnt argue his thoughts were any purer, he was selfish and wanted you to himself. The master had went to bed hours ago with a bottle of drink in hand, so he would be dead to the world until late tomorrow afternoon. But Magenta and Columbia were still up. Riff Raff doubted if Columbia would be able to keep you a secret from the master, due to her feelings for him. But he knew he could trust his sister. Riff Raff began to take your coat from your shoulders, making you shiver with chill and look at him in confusion. “The water will only make it worse.” He explained, offering you a crooked smile. He didn’t hang up the coat, but draped it over his forearm. “Sorry, I didn’t catch your name.” You turned to face him properly, very aware of how his gaze made your heart flutter. “Riff Raff.” He answered. “Im [y/n].” you smiled, noticing the way his lip twitched at your name. “Beautiful, much like yourself.” He mumbled, walking past you. You felt your cheeks flush red at the comment. “Please follow me, mistress.” He nodded to a door. “Please, don’t call me mistress. Im not above you in any way. [y/n] is fine.” You smiled sweetly, although a lustful part of you enjoyed it. Riff Raff didn’t respond to you but smiled and guided you through the large house and down some stairs. “Where are we going?” You asked, suddenly feeling less and less safe on every step. Riff Raff paused for a moment, debating something before signing and turning to you. “The master, he is…” he paused again. “Strange. Much like many in this house. But I have known him to take advantage of women in destress, much like yourself.” He saw your eyes widen and you took a step back up one of the steps in fear. “But, I am not going to tell him you are here. We are the only place for miles. And in this weather, you shall no doubt become extremely ill, or worse. So I am taking to our quarters.” He explained, and you let out a sign of relief. You don’t know why you trusted this stranger, maybe your heart was more powerful than your mind at this point in time. But you were cold, shocked, scared and all you wanted was a warm embrace. You nodded and stepped back down. “our?” You asked, seeing him smile once again. “The servants quarters. My sister can attend to your wounds.” Riff Raff reached out and gently ran his finger close to the cut on your forehead that was no longer bleeding. “T-thank you.” You smiled, shaking from the cold. ------------timeskip----------------- The area Riff Raff had labelled as the servants quarters was a small corridor with a few rooms either side and a set of stairs up the other side. Riff raff had lead you into one room to a lovely and incredibly seductive woman called Magenta. She smirked at him when he entered her room with you at his heels. She smirked even more when Riff Raff told her not to tell Columbia and especially not their master about you. But she never said anything about it. She took your hands in hers and pulled you over to her bed, sitting you down so she could tend to your cuts. She had an incredibly sexy accent that you wished you had. She referred to you as Darling and Sweetie, which made you smile. Magenta insisted she dry your hair for you, so you sat in front of her with your back to her as she blasted your locks. Every now and then, she would move the warm air across your back and shoulders. Warming you up. Now, the two of you were sitting on her bed, chatting. “So, where were you going?” She asked as she idly played with your hair, braiding some parts only for them to fall out. “I was coming back from breaking up with someone.” You told her, shrugging. “And you wanted him to know was he was missing?” She smirked, raising and eyebrow as her knowing gaze flew to your dress and what was left of your makeup. “Exactly.” You giggled turning to her. “Thank you for everything.” You took her hand in yours and squeezed it. “Darling, it is okay.” She brushed away a strand of hair from your face. The door to the room opened and you couldn’t help but jump until your gaze fell on Riff Raff and you smiled. “Feeling better?” He asked, his eyes running over your now clean cuts. “Much.” You answered. “why cant we let her meet Columbia?” Magenta asked as she wrapped her arms around your shoulder and rested her head on your shoulder. “In case she tells.” Riff Raff replied sharply. “She wont, though. You know of her feelings for him. Why would she risk him getting eyes for another woman?” Magenta argued, frowning at him. “I shall think about it.” Riff Raff shook his head at his sister. “[y/n], ive prepared you a room just down the corridor.” He beckoned you. Magenta let you go, but not before kissing your cheek and promising to speak to you in the morning. Before you left, she called for you to wait before going to her cupboard and pulling out some clothes and giving you them. A night gown, a day dress, some tights and other clothes which you thanked her for. “You seem to get along well with my sister.” He commented as he closed the door behind you. “Yes, shes lovely.” You smiled, thinking that if your relationship with her progressed, you could easily see her as a sister. Riff Raff showed you to a room only a few doors from hers. You stepped inside and your mouth fell open. The room was lit with candle night in the most romantic way. It was a large room with a high ceiling. In the centre of the room was a 4-poster bed with a stunning crimson cover and matching throw. In the corner was a desk with a mirror on it and on the other side was a door which you could see led to a bathroom. “Is this to your liking?” Riff Raff appeared by your side frowning as he mistook your shock for disgust. “I cant stay here. Its too beautiful and grand for the likes of me.” You shook your head, smiling as you took a step back till a hand rested on your lower back. “Then its perfect for you.” He said in a soothing voice. You turned to him with wide eyes that began to water. “Mistress?” He asked, frowning at your tears. “Oh im sorry. God, what must you think of me?” You giggled, fanning your face with one hand as he guided you to the bed and the two of you sat down. “Its stupid, me crying like this. Its just, I was driving back from breaking up with someone. and I realise that you have done more for me in the last few hours than he done in 3 years. Your sister took care of me better than my own family.” You confessed to him, looking at your lap as you shook your head. Riff Raff reached out and took your chin between his thumb and index finger to guide your gaze to meet his. “Then he is a fool.” He told you, his voice genuine and heartfelt. “As are your family.” You threw your arms around him and pulled him into a tight embrace as you mumbled ‘thank yous’ in his ear. He wrapped his arms around you, holding you close. Why did this feel to natural with him? “Rest now. The storm does not look to lift for the next few days, so you may stay here for as long as you need.” He mumbled in your ear. You were surprised he didn’t take advantage of you. You were practically throwing yourself at him but he was more concerned about you getting rest. “Will I see you tomorrow?” You asked, pulling back as he stood. “Of course, my sweet.” He mused, his fingers running over your cheek before leaving. --------------time skip--------- Over the next few days, the storm only got worse. And within a week and a half, it was a blizzard. Not that you minded. Magenta had proven to be a joy to be around and had introduced you to Columbia, who instantly wanted to dress you in sparkly clothes. You loved the two women and the three of you could sit for hours enjoying each others company. They loaned you clothes while you stayed which you were grateful for. In the servants area, there was 3 bedrooms, all of equal size but Magenta and Columbia shared so instead of the 4 poster bed were 2 singles. There was a staff kitchen, a living area and a shared bathroom despite all the bedrooms have their own personal ones. the place was like a large flat. the stairs led to a small garden and on the other side of the garden was woods and a road from what Riff Raff told you. He had showed you to the door, but the second it opened, you both were nearly soaked. You thought you might feel like a prisoner here, but you loved it. During the day, you decided to clean your bedroom, the living room and the kitchen. You washed the clothes you borrowed and busied yourself with making sure your presents wasn’t a burden on them. They loved what you did because they spent the whole day running around after ‘frank’ that they really didn’t like cleaning their quarters. Riff Raff seemed to like your company the most. The second he finished his work, he would come to you. The other evening, you and he had sat in front of the fire as you read a book and he sat in a comfortable silence. You must have been here about 3 weeks now and you felt like you belonged here. It was more homely than your own home. tonight, you sat between Magentas legs with Columbia lying across yours. You smiled down at her as you used and eye brow pencil to fill hers. The last few mornings she had come through to you to help her do some of her makeup, even though she was amazing at it herself. Still, you liked feeling helpful. “How long are you staying?” She suddenly asked, her voice a little higher than normal which was a hard to do. “I don’t know. Till this storm clears, I think.” You shrugged, ignoring the dread that filled your stomach at the thought. “Do you have to?” She asked, sitting up. “I have to. I cant burden you forever.” You giggle, shaking your head at her. “You are no burden, my darling.” Magenta brushed your hair to the side as you looked back at her. “Come on, stay here with us?!” Columbia started to bounce on her knees like a child. “You- you really want me to stay?” You asked, looking over your shoulder to Magenta. “Of course! You are like a sister to me.” She smiled widely, wrapping her arms around your waist. “Franks away in a couple of weeks to a party. Me and Magenta have to go but Riff Raff has to stay and watch the house. You could move your stuff in then. And you can help with cleaning down here.” Columbia divulged a plan to you that you suspected she hadn’t just come up with. “and what if he finds out im here?” You asked, looking from Columbia to Magenta. “I’ll protect you. He would not dare cross me. Plus, my brother cares deeply for you and would fight to protect you. The master would be outnumbered.” She smiled, a little menacing but you liked it. “Or, you could meet him.” “No.” you instantly said, making the girls laugh. You had heard him screaming at the top of his lungs. “He is really a sweetheart.” Columbia said, lying back down on your lap. For some reason, she didn’t meet your eyes. you then heard the door being thrown open and Riff Raff stormed in. He was limping, badly and had blood on his clothes. His gaze fell on Columbia. “You told.” He growled, moving towards her as she scrambled to her feet. “Now, it isn’t like that!” She put her hands out as you and Magenta stood up. Magenta wrapped her arms around you. “What do you mean?” Magenta asked, looking between her brother and Columbia. “The master knows [y/n] is here.” Riff Raff spoke in a dangerously low voice. “What?” You gasped, cuddling into Magenta from fear. “Columbia!” Magenta scolded as she pulled you closer. “How could you?” “I just wanted her to stay with us.” Columbia pointed at you, frowning. “Franks fine with her staying.” She huffed. “Really?” You looked to Riff Raff, who looked like he was in a lot of pain. “Yes, he wishes to meet you first. Tomorrow for lunch.” He didn’t look at you. “Will you be there?” You asked, leaving Magentas arms to walk over to. He looked at you, meeting your eyes for the first time. “Of course.” He bowed his head slightly to you, making you smile. “Then I’ll be fine.” You assured him. Magenta said she wanted to ‘speak’ with Columbia and you said you were tired anyway, so you and Riff Raff left. you walked into your room, Riff Raff following you. He walked over and took a seat in one of the 2 arm chairs. His face contorted with pain as he sat. “what happened?” You asked, walking over to him and kneeling in front of him. “punishment. The master likes to flog.” Riff Raff mumbled, looking to the side of you. “I am so sorry, Riff Raff.” You shook your head, resting your hand on his knee. “Why?” Riff Raff asked, looking at you in confusion. “If I have never darkened your doorstep, you would never have gotten hurt.” You mused, guilt running through your body. “I am so glad you did, mistress.” Riff Raff mumbled, reaching out to run a thin finger down your cheek, setting fire to your skin as he did. He never did drop the ‘mistress’ although it comes and goes. Sometimes, he would call you by your name, and some times mistress. “Columbia was asking me to stay before you came in. she said I could be like a maid to you all.” You smiled slightly. “so, technically, that would make you my master.” You giggled, looking up at him. You saw a spark in his eyes as the words fell from your lips. “That is, if Frank lets me stay.” you looked down, but Riff Raff didn’t miss that flash of fear in your eyes. He took you by the chin, making you look back up at him. “He wont hurt you. Magenta and I will make sure of it.” He vowed, moving himself to sit on the edge of the seat. “Riff Raff?” Your voice was barely more than a whispered as you realised how close his face was to yours. You could feel his breath on your lips and it sent a shiver down your spin. “Mistress.” Riff Raff purred. “Do you want me to stay?” you asked, your eyes begging him for the answer you needed to hear. You saw his lip twitch into a smile before he answered you. “yes.” You couldn’t control yourself as you leaned up and pressed your lips to his. You kissed him, desperately. You didn’t know why you were so drawn to him. Why you needed him. But it seemed he was as eager to kiss you as you were to kiss him. He kissed you back, taking control and dominating the kiss. You moved yourself up, desperate to feel more of him. But he didn’t mind. He wrapped an arm around your waist and pulled you up. You were quick to straddle his lap, your arms around his neck as you kissed. you pulled back, panting slightly as you looked at him in the warm glow of the fire. “I don’t care if its insane, me wanting to stay with people ive only known for a month.” You couldn’t help but giggle, more at yourself but Riff Raff smiled. “you belong here.” He mumbled, reaching up and twisting a strand of hair around his slender finger, not realising the impact his words had on you. “You think?” You couldn’t help but smile. “Of course, my sister is incredibly fond of you and Columbia, while misguided, enjoys your company. As will our master, so long as he doesn’t hurt you.” Riff Raff mused, his eyes half closed and a small smile now playing on his lips. “And you?” You leaned close to him, your hands running up his neck and back down. “I adore you.” Riff Raff half growled as he pulled you close and back into a dominating and passionate kiss. a small small part of you wondered about leaving. But then what did you have to go back to? Your ex was a disgusting pig, your family was non-existent, your ‘friends’ were nothing compared to Magenta. You had never felt so at home than you were here. You never felt so loved and wanted than when you were with the siblings. As you sat on the lap of Riff Raff, you knew you couldn’t leave. You knew you were tied to this house, to the people, to him. you ran your hand across his back and felt him wince. You instantly pulled back and saw blood on your finger tips. you climbed off his lap and went around to inspect his back. You made him take off his coat and vest. His shirt was stained with blood. But once removed, you could see the wounds weren’t deep, only just breaking the skin and had stopped bleeding. “You need to rest.” You mumbled, your heart aching to see him in pain. Riff Raff stood up, pressed a kiss to your forehead and started to leave, until you grabbed his hand. “You know, you should really stay here. So I can make sure you don’t lie on your back while you sleep.” You knew it was a weak excuse, but when you saw the smirk on his lips, you knew he knew too. The two of you went over to the bed and crawled under the covers. His arms found your waist and he pulled you into his chest as he lay on his side. You smiled, cuddling into his chest. As you started to drift off, you heard the door open. You look over to see Magenta stepping inside your room with a guilty looking Columbia at her heels. a couple of times, they had come through to you and the three of you slept in the massive bed. You smiled, allowing your heavy eyes to close as you felt the bed behind you dip. You moved to lie on your back, Riff Raff fast asleep now. His hand moved to rest on your hip bone. Magenta wrapped her arm around your arm as she lay her head just above yours and Columbia lay her head on your stomach, sniffling slightly. You reached down and ran your hand over her hair while she mumbled an apology. You couldn’t help but smile as you drifted back to sleep. And as bizarre as it seemed, you felt safe and loved. This was perfect. Bizarrely perfect.

[twatkcox]

[The Keihancarl Diaries: January 25, 2020]

Gong Xi Fa Cai! Kung Hei Fat Choi! As promised, I decided to go on a trip to see the dragon dance (hopefully), but I don't think the weather will cooperate just like three years ago. I hope I can manage to make it through a crowd of people once I got to my intended destination. And I need to have the surgical mask ready, just in case.

I'm off to Rockwell Center, Circuit Makati and Binondo areas for this trip. I decided on a red and black outfit, the usual black fleece coat and the red anime shirt. As for the mask, I'll explain that one later.

I was really hoping to leave the house early so I can spend a little more time at the Circuit Makati rooftop park. Anyway, traffic is light so I don't have to worry about possible time constraints... until the UV Express decided to pass by North Avenue. Traffic is incredibly heavy there.

Upon reaching MRT North Avenue station, I immediately load up my Beep card. I managed to get inside the train, a couple of minutes before leaving. I then got off at Guadalupe Station and walk to my first stop for this trip, Rockwell Center. It started raining halfway just as I was about to reach Estrella Street.

And I reached the Power Plant Mall. The Christmas tree is still there, even though the holiday season ended weeks ago.

Anyway, I checked a few shops, including Fully Booked. At the other end of the mall, there are Chinese lanterns as well as the pink tree which is decorated with red envelopes (ang pao).

At the Fully Booked branch, I try to figure out what music are they playing this time, however, it is barely audible. I assume that it was pop or jazz music, but it could be something else.

They had some awesome manga on the dedicated shelves. I just noticed that they separate the light novels from the manga books, to avoid possible confusion.

There were no bargain books in that branch, unfortunately. But then again, I won't be seeing any manga books in their bargain bin(s) anyway.

I visited a few more shops and checked the expansion area (formerly the Archaeology wing). On the lower ground floor, there were stalls selling fruits and Filipino delicacies.

There's an art gallery in the expansion area as well. Not sure if it's a temporary set up.

Heading to my next stop, the rain stopped. I took a jeep to Circuit Makati and got off at a street nearest to the mall area.

I checked Biblio first and tried to search for a manga book (which is commonly placed among the children's books). I found one, a shojo manga, but the spine is damaged. I only checked some of the manga's pages before I went off and check the other books there.

Aside from that, there were vintage books on sale.

I immediately check parts of the airconditioned area and made my way to the rooftop park. Since it rained not too long ago, the fake grass is drenched so I can't sit down right now.

There were a few people in the area as well, taking pictures and selfies. Of course, I took a moment to enjoy the view of the Makati skyline, and even see the office buildings (Pacific Star and BPI Buendia Center buildings) where my previous workplaces are.

I had lunch at Andoks and ordered a budget-friendly chicken pops meal. After that, I stayed at Macao Imperial Tea for a cup of cream cheese jasmine green tea (there were fewer people inside at that time). I began uploading the first set of pics to my Instagram accounts. Regarding the drink, it was okay though there were sediments at the bottom which irritated my throat a little. Must be the undissolved cream cheese.

I then checked the rest of the mall area (Circuit Walk) and visited the open park area.

The sun finally shines after a few hours of rain and dark clouds.

And it's time to head to Binondo. I rode the LRT to Carriedo Station and I had to deal with the extremely crowded train. Nothing compared to MRT-3, I suppose.

Getting off, I just noticed that Carriedo Street is somewhat cleared of vendors. Well, not actually cleared, but the number of vendors has been greatly reduced. It certainly looked better that way.

I put on my disposable surgical mask before making my way to Binondo as a preventive measure. It had something to do with the possible spread of the Novel coronavirus coming from Wuhan, China, mainly from Chinese tourists. But then, I might inhale some smoke from the firecrackers in addition to the smoke coming from the vehicles, so I decided to put it on. It took me a while before I figure out the correct way of wearing it, as the mask keeps hitting my eyes, making it difficult for me to see where I’m walking.

I passed by the art deco buildings along Escolta, though a couple of buildings are in disrepair (one of them, the Capitol Theater, is already demolished). Reaching the Jones Bridge area, a lot of people passed by the area, some of them are wearing red clothing.

Going further, I saw more people along the way. Upon reaching the Binondo Church, there were street performances and a lot of people passing by, some of them stopping to take pictures.

Ongpin Street is crowded with a lot of people, with some of the policemen guarding the area. I somehow managed to pass by without having to squeeze in. Fifteen minutes later, I did get to see a dragon dance. I managed to take a few pics, but I wasn't able to get a perfect shot. Well, that should do.

There's another dragon dance in front of a hotpot restaurant, complete with firecrackers. Traffic is ongoing, and I can actually hear the honking of the horns as the dragon dance went on.

Feeling a little exhausted, I then head to 999 Mall and checked the stalls selling anime shirts. Nothing much, as they still have the same stock.

I also check a couple of stalls in 168 Mall as well, but I only see a lot of K-pop merch and probably some anime posters. Both malls aren't that crowded at the moment, but I find it frustrating to get around the narrow hallways and make it outside. Well, I managed to do just that and I felt a little relieved as soon as I got out.

And finally, Lucky Chinatown Mall. There's a Chinese New Year performance by Ely Buendia, IV of Spades, and a few others. I head to the cinema level to relax and upload more pics to Instagram.

I managed to take a few more selfies at the City Walk area. After that, I decided to go home as it is already past 7:00 PM. I decided to skip the early dinner since I'll probably eat dinner at home anyway.

I took an e-tricycle to Doroteo Jose Street, passed by the bus stop, and rode the LRT-2 to Araneta Cubao Station. Of course, LRT-2 remains operational, but from Recto to Araneta Cubao stations only and vice versa. I managed to see the awfully tacky station signage at Gilmore and Betty Go-Belmonte stations. Getting off, the escalators at Araneta Cubao stations are being replaced.

I passed by a couple of bookstores (Fully Booked and Booksale) and rode the Beep minibus to SM Fairview. Traffic is incredibly light in most parts of Commonwealth Avenue. I'll probably get home a little earlier than usual.

All right, so I managed to make it through this awesome but exhausting trip. And I didn't have to rant on the traffic in some areas, hence I'm extremely pleased.

Well, how about it? The Bay Area for February sounds like fun since I'll finally get to visit a newly-opened mall at the Entertainment City complex.

And that's how my day went. Until next time!

Most of the pics are uploaded to my private Instagram account, @kcox105. The pics of the MRT/LRT trains, milk tea, and the dragon dance (the first one) are from my official Instagram account, @kcox_105.

[wwoofcsa]

My time with karla

Ok so bali’s good for the first two weeks, we have some wonderful adventures, and we eventually find our way to ubud for the first of many times, and we find a flyer for this free ocean yoga festival in amed a few days later (on the east side of the island) we’re super intrigued and we head to canggu for a few days before we go out to amed. In canggu, this wonderful girl (who will soon change my life) shows up and we hit it off. Shes orginally mexican, but she, like me, left her home country. In her journey, she moved to the states for a few years, and then flew out and has been in chiang mai for the last year or so. We sat in the pool for a bit upon meeting and spoke for a long while. It was almost a magneticism, karla and i, we just really enjoyed eachothers company. So we kept hanging out over the next few days. We slacklined, did some yoga, and really just connected. Meanwhile the gang and i went and saw FKJ, NIghtmares on Wax, and Slow Magic at this bougie festival at the W hotel and we met up with rain and fox (for the first of a few times) from the burn. The festival was hilarious, as we just got plastered and had a fucking blast, pulled some shenangigans, and were the life of the party...or should i say the life of the super fancy hotel.

Anyways we told karla about this festival we found out about and she asked if she could accompany us. It made me super happy how direct and open she was. And i remember being a bit nervous, but i wanted to let her know that i was interested in sharing a room together if she was into it. After we talked, and agreed to share a room, we all made our way out to amed on the 4 or 5 hour ride.

Arriving in the evening the hotel lost our reservations and through a 45 minute process of events, we eneded up getting upgraded to an unbelieveably beautiful sister hotel of theirs, for the same price. This place was an actual temple, It was incredible. We shouldnt have been allowed to stay there, it was directly on the beach and had 3 enormous rooms with two outdoor showers and a kitchen and living room. So karla and i got our own private little villa in back where over the course of the week our relationsihp and bond deepened as we explored each other and ourselves in the form of love making, sharing, beautiful workshops we explored and amazing ecstatic dance partys. She was a brilliant and lovely companion. She was excited to try new things, she loved meditation and she was so hilarious. She was kind and gentle and loving, and she had my back. It was the first time id ever really felt that a companion could really provide support for me too, a true partner, and equal. I very quickly fell into an ocean of love, but a love this time, without infatuation. A love with (as the community of tamera would define) my blue ball in tact, and still with me, and a love with true contact. A love that seemed to carry intention, awareness, gentleness and consideration. A love to be proud of, with no shame, guilt, fear, or demands. Would this girl play a role in my future? I didnt know, and didnt really dwell, i was just happy for the time that was happening.

 We decided, a few days in, to trip on acid together. It was ultimately a really incredible experience and i went pretty deep into my own mind. I took away a few things. First off, i deepened my connection to trees, as in many ways i felt as if i embodied a tree and grounded myself into my life and into those around me in order to support them. But i also experienced something else interesting, i felt the support of karla, it felt that because she was fully able to take care of  herself, and even had extra to give, that i could finally feel supported in my own journey as opposed to focus on taking care of someone else. It felt almost as though i was so much stronger because i had someones support behind me. This was definitely something new for me in a relationship and it became very clear during our trip together. In the past, ive been used to feeling like i am consistantly taking care of two people, and with karla, it felt as if i i both of us were watching out of both of us. At the end of the day, it was super nice that she was open to tripping and i see that the manifestation of a psychedelic lady is coming to fruition which makes me so happy and excited for the future

In the next two weeks we contintued connecting, checking in and exploring. We dealt with the challenges of me balancing my time between her and my group of friends and i learned a great deal. I learned how important a group is to me, and how hard it is for me to feel seperated while im spending in a group. I think it triggered  feelings, like i must choose between people i love, when i really love them all and i want to dedicate time and energy to everyone. I know for part of the time mikey expressed feelings of “losing” me to karla, and feeling like our trip was starting to diverge from what we had originially planned (ill go into this more in depth at a later point)

Through these challenges, we grew, and communicated and so to lighten the mood ill share some funny stories that happened along the way.

Scooter story

So one night during the ocean yoga festival, there was an ecstatic dance experience. Ecstatic dance is an awesome forum for expression through movement. Its basically a 2 hour dj set where everyone has the space to dance however feels good for them, they can do yoga, meditate, dance together, dance alone etc etc. It’s basically a space that holds the freedom to move and enjoy without alcohol or drugs. So the location of the ecstatic dance was a bit far out, but we had done some acro yoga there a few days before so we knew the route, the night was amazing and we danced our faces off, and i got a bunch of new songs via my shazam addiction. 

flash forward a few days, there was another dance party out on the beach right in front of the yoga shalla where we had danced only nights before. Because the journey was so long (30 minute drive) and it was already night time, one of our friends that we had met offered a short cut. He owned one of the restaurants in amed, blue earth, which and INCREDIBLE charcoal pizza. Like, this pizza was so good we got it seven times, thats how good it was. I would give the rest of my lifes savings, just to eat a life time supply of this pizza. Anyway, so we get this short cut where we basically drive to the beach and walk 20 minutes down the beach. We park the bike and for some reason decide to lock the key hole, just in case there are theives by the beach and we didnt want our bike to get stolen blah blah blah. So we lock the bike and something weird happens where it seemed like the lock was stuck. No worries, we headed down the beach and started our treck to the party. The walk was lovely, along the beach at night, and we finally arrived to the bonfire party combo. We stayed for a while and danced and chatted, but after a while we both felt the call to get the fuck back home. As we walked back came across some bio luminscense!! The plankton in the water was so beautiful so we played fora  bit, as it was the highlight of our evening. So we contintued on and after some time arrived to the bike which we would find out soon, was inevitably locked forever. Its not that the keyhole lock was messed up, its that the back of the key itself which unlocks the keyhole lock, was worn down and stripped. It was at that point i realized that i had no more internet on my phone plan and after about 40 mins of tryign to look up youtube videos of how to break into our bike, and about 5 people coming by and failing to help us, we decided to try and contact mikey or max to help us out. It was about 1:30am and after about 6 tries, max finally answered, thank fucking god. I tried to keep him on the phone, explaining to him the mild emergency, and thank god about a half hour later, mikey and he pulled up and took us back. After a long, exhausting evening, we slumbered into the night, gearing up for the next days journey to kuala lampur for my visa extention.

Last last lastly, we had a fun experience one evening that is particularly worth noting. We were starting to explore a bit of intimacy one evening and as we got a little deeper into it, my earing got caught in her nose ring and karla and i got stuck for like five minutes cause our faces were so close together that we couldnt see how to undo it. it killed me and heres some evidence belowww

[buckleysims]

Meeting Jane Replies

@parystrange @my-simension @loyally-royal @bubble-sims @goatkibble @curmudgeonness @spladoum @sims3hasstoppedworking @mspoodle1 @willky12 @soloriya @belasims @sims3medieval @inabadromance @simmerjazen @declarations-of-drama @batsheba @alyssajolt @ithink-iam-happy

parystrange replied to your photoset “Previous | Next”

Doesn't he even think what a little sister might mean to his other daughter? She seems like a lonely kid as it is.

I love this comment. Such an excellent point! To answer your question though, no, Theodore has not thought about how this will affect anyone but himself. At this point in the story, he is a vain, self-centered person whose main concerns are his money, his reputation, and his career in politics. Whether that will ever change or not remains to be seen, but if it helps I believe that he absolutely has the capacity to grow up and become an upstanding leader of the community as well as a good father and maybe, someday, a good husband too. He’s just not there yet.

parystrange replied to your photoset “She’s beautiful,” Westley murmurs as he peers down at the pink bundle...”

Eww I wouldn't want Kit touching my baby. She'd be covered in slime.

Bahahahaha, where’s the lie? XD I wouldn’t let a guy like him near my hypothetical newborn baby either, lmao.

Also, while I’m here, I just want to say thank you so much for reading and commenting, Pary! Even though we don’t always see eye to eye about everything, I really appreciate your feedback. It means a lot to me. :)

my-simension replied to your photoset “Previous | Next”

This looks so real! Great work.

Thank you so much! :D

my-simension replied to your photoset “She’s beautiful,” Westley murmurs as he peers down at the pink bundle...”

"....and their eyes lock for what feels like the longest ten seconds of Maddie’s life." ;-;

I’m not crying. It’s just raining on my face. ;-; I know my writing is corny af, but I’m touched that you like/tolerate it anyway. <3

loyally-royal replied to your photoset “Previous | Next”

Beautiful detailed set as always! You always have the prettiest surroundings for your stories.

Aw, wow, thank you! I spent a ridiculous amount of time on those two pictures, and hearing that you like them just makes all the effort and frustration worthwhile. So yeah, thanks for the feedback! I really appreciate it. :)

bubble-sims replied to your photoset “Previous | Next”

his pose says yes, his facial expression says no... I dunno how to feel about that :(

Exactly! :D I’m so happy you noticed his pose! Theodore was/is very torn about how to handle the birth of a daughter that he doesn’t (and never did) want, and that sort of internal conflict is precisely what I was going for with both his facial expression and his overall body language and stance. So thank you very much for the comment! I’m thrilled that you picked up on that detail. <3

bubble-sims replied to your photoset “She’s beautiful,” Westley murmurs as he peers down at the pink bundle...”

the first two pictures are gorgeous, but the last one is just... I can't stop looking at it :') they'd make a perfect little family

Thank you! *hugs* It means a lot to me that you think so. <3

goatkibble replied to your photoset “Previous | Next”

This set looks incredible! And Theo <3

*blush* Thank you, gk! I adore your sets (as you hopefully know by now!), so I’m really happy that you liked this one of mine. :)

goatkibble replied to your photoset “She’s beautiful,” Westley murmurs as he peers down at the pink bundle...”

Dear LORD! The woman has just dropped a kid in the last 24 hours and is already thinking about using her moneymaker to snag another man who isn't her legally wed husband *agog* I... honestly. No words.

Hm, I disagree. She’s not trying to “snag” Westley here. They’re just friends, and besides he is the one who is flirting with her. :P

curmudgeonness replied to your photoset “Previous | Next”

How am I going to feed and clothe eight of them?

ROFL, Rob, you’re terrible! XD But yeah, Theodore is freaking out bad enough about having to deal with just one new baby, but I’m sure the presence of so many others is not helping his anxiety here, haha.

spladoum replied to your photoset “Previous | Next”

O look! She totally took your money and totally DIDN'T have that abortion! Awesome.

Maddie’s reaction:

Theo’s reaction:

(Thanks for the comment, splad! You cut right to the chase, as usual! XD)

sims3hasstoppedworking replied to your photoset “Previous | Next”

I thought exactly the same what Kylie lol!

Hahaha! XD And Theodore’s, like, “They’re not all mine are they?! O_O”

sims3hasstoppedworking replied to your photoset “She’s beautiful,” Westley murmurs as he peers down at the pink bundle...”

THEY NEED TO HAVE LIKE 15 CHILDREN TOGETHER

Westley would probably not be opposed to that, LOL. <3 He adores kids.

Anyway, thank you for reading and commenting! :D

mspoodle1 replied to your photoset “Previous | Next”

It's always the smallest details that really make it come together as a whole. You did good!

Thank you! I’m so glad you liked it. ;-;

willky12 replied to your photoset “Previous | Next”

No words needed. Good grief where did you get all those babies from?! Must have taken you ages to do that! ;D

LOL, thank you Kylie! :D I used NRaas’s instant baby function (that comes with Master Controller) on some of the hospital staff to get a variety of different looking babies, hehe. That part actually didn’t take too much time since they were just burrito babies instead of resized toddlers. Decorating the nursery and hospital, on the other hand, took ages!

willky12 replied to your photoset “She’s beautiful,” Westley murmurs as he peers down at the pink bundle...”

So lovely, but now I am bracing myself :0

Haha! You know me well. No one in my stories stays happy for too long. ;)

soloriya replied to your photoset “Previous | Next”

omg that's so cute ^__________^

Thanks so much! :D It took quite a while to decorate and stage that scene (much longer than I thought it would!), so I’m really happy to hear that! <3

belasims replied to your photoset “She’s beautiful,” Westley murmurs as he peers down at the pink bundle...”

If I didn't know any better I would have thought "wow, that is one beautiful family!" Hopefully someday...someday. ;) Love the photos and setup btw!

Thank you, bela! I appreciate it! :D

sims3medieval replied to your photoset “She’s beautiful,” Westley murmurs as he peers down at the pink bundle...”

The most adorable baby Ive seen in sims! West is right, just as pretty as her mom:-)

This made my day. <3 Thank you so much! *happy tears*

inabadromance replied to your photoset “She’s beautiful,” Westley murmurs as he peers down at the pink bundle...”

awww

Thank you! :D I'm a huge fan of your blog, by the way, and I’m flattered that you even follow me, let alone like my pictures! I can’t stop grinning right now. :)

simmerjazen replied to your photoset “She’s beautiful,” Westley murmurs as he peers down at the pink bundle...”

Jane knows Kit is an evil bastard that can't be trusted. LOL it worries me that Kit has been there to hold her knowing what plans he had for that poor baby. :( I hope he hasn't done it yet. That's really my wish right now. I'm glad Wes went to see her. Wonder if he'll still be there when Theo arrives.

Bahahaha, very true about Jane and Kit! As for the rest of your comment, I don’t want to give anything away so I’m not going to reply, other than to say that it is a very valid concern. >:)

declarations-of-drama replied to your photoset “She’s beautiful,” Westley murmurs as he peers down at the pink bundle...”

I'm always too nervous to hold them - they're too precious and I go into panic mode that I might drop it lol x He did well - must be a natural

Oh, I am the exact same way! I didn’t even want to hold my baby sister when she was first born, and at that point I was 25 years old and had spent over three years working in childcare with babies and toddlers. Newborns are just so fragile and delicate, haha. But Westley is definitely a natural.

Thanks for the comment! :)

batsheba replied to your photoset “She’s beautiful,” Westley murmurs as he peers down at the pink bundle...”

Naaaww....

:D I thought it was a sweet moment too. <333

alyssajolt replied to your photoset “She’s beautiful,” Westley murmurs as he peers down at the pink bundle...”

NOOO KIT ALREADY HELD HER NOOO

So glad you noticed that! >:)

ithink-iam-happy replied to your photoset “She’s beautiful,” Westley murmurs as he peers down at the pink bundle...”

What I've waited for this! *_* <3

Thank you! ;-; <333

[allyinthekeyofx]

Fading light -part 2- 3/6

PART ONE  -  Chapters 1-6

PART TWO  -  Chapter one   Chapter two

PART TWO

CHAPTER THREE

“Are you sure you don’t want me to call your Mom?”

I’m trying to understand Scully’s reluctance to involve her Mother; I’m aware that the knowledge of her collapse yesterday will just seek to fuel another emotional outburst from Maggie, but even so, it just doesn’t sit right with me. But then it’s not my fight so I’m not sure I have a right to even hold an opinion, much less pass judgement over Scully’s decisions in this regard. To have to watch her losing control of her body is heart wrenching to me and I suppose she should be permitted to decide just how much of her gradual decline she wishes to share with her Mom.

But I still can’t help the guilt that gnaws at me that I am at least in part, a willing conspirator against a woman who has shown me more kindness and the past than I believe I deserve.

But Scully sets her mouth in a straight line, shaking her head and looking all the word like a small, determined child.

“No. I mean it Mulder. I’ll call her when I get home.”

When she will get home is still undetermined however. She’s had a pretty rough morning since she woke up. I hadn’t considered really just what the effects of swallowing so much blood yesterday would have on her and she’s been throwing up on and off for the past 3 hours or so despite a cocktail of anti sickness drugs added to her IV and she is clearly exhausted by this latest assault. Apparently the human digestive system - as Scully helpfully informed me - does not process large quantities of its own blood too well and vomiting in this circumstance is commonplace. It was something she apparently went through the last time around and something she never discussed with me. But then she didn’t really discuss much of anything with me back then and if I’m honest, I’m not entirely sure I had earned the right, intent as I was on seeking justice, and my partner, the woman I loved, the object of such heinous wrongdoing, somehow became secondary to my quest.

I’ve always been ashamed of my actions back then. I think I probably always will be and although I’ve never told her, I’m still haunted by the knowledge that I wasn’t there when she needed me the most. Yes, Scully is an intensely private person, but I was so blind back then that even if she’d expressed her need in neon letters two feet tall I doubt I would have been able to see past the ether of my obsession in order to react to it. And that’s why now, even though I had prayed that a resurgence of her cancer would never come, that I will be to her everything I wasn’t before.

I know I am going to have to leave her soon though, just for a while; because if she won’t allow me to involve anyone else, the most basic tasks need to be completed by me. Essential items, toiletries, a change of clothes, her robe....all fairly insignificant in the great scheme of things but items that will make her stay easier. I particularly know that she is desperate to clean her teeth. Scully is probably the most fastidious person I’ve ever met and I know that being unable to properly freshen up using her toothpaste and her brand of soap is pissing her off. She doesn’t need that on top of everything else. Not when it’s something that is so easily rectified.

I also need to grab a shower and a change of clothes because the scrubs, whilst pretty comfortable aren’t the most inconspicuous apparel to be wearing in a hospital and frankly I’m terrified that someone might mistake me for a member of the nursing staff and my duplicity will end up killing someone.

I’d said as much to Scully and was rewarded by the first genuine smile she had managed so far that day. And for a brief moment amidst the headache and the nausea and the fear, she was right back there with me.

“You’re an idiot Mulder”

I’d leaned in closer to her tickling her neck with my lips as I whispered in her ear so only she could hear me

“Admit it Scully, you just wanna play Doctors with me.”

And that earned me a swat on the arm.

Another small victory. But I would take it.

Shortly after that though she had closed her eyes and by the delicate furrows that marred her brow, I knew that the headache was back. She needed sleep and I’d suspected that it was something she was fighting against while I was still there with her. So I’d perched gently on the edge of the bed and taken her slim white hand in mine. I swear that her naturally pale skin tone had become virtually translucent since yesterday and my own hand seemed almost dark in comparison. And for some reason I can’t quite fathom, the sight of her hand engulfed in mine had tightened my throat as a sudden film of tears inexplicably gathered across my eyes and it took every single fucking reserve I had to not break down right there in front of her.

She noticed of course; I can’t hide anything from this woman and when I allow myself to really think about it, it humbles me that she has somehow managed to know me so completely. I am further humbled when she places her free hand against my cheek, holding it there for just a heartbeat.

“It’s okay” she whispers softly turning those incredible eyes on me that, just for a moment, radiate such compassion, such concern, that I want to gather her up and never let her go. To rain a thousand kisses down upon her body in an attempt to rid her of the hurt and the fear I know she is feeling.

“It’s okay Mulder. Go home for a while. I’ll be fine.”

She is tired. She needs to sleep.

So I simply nod and bring her hand to my mouth, kissing each finger softly before grazing my lips across her palm, tracing circles with my thumb across the satin soft skin and by the time I gently lay her arm across her chest, she has succumbed to her exhaustion and her eyes have fluttered closed. I allow myself the luxury of drinking in her image, the long chestnut eyelashes that sit in sharp contrast to her pale skin and despite the dark shadows under her eyes, to me, she is flawless.

“I’ll be back soon” I whisper.

And the small contended sigh that escapes from her slightly parted lips tells me that she hears me even in her dreams.

XXXX

I had briefly considered walking back home but given the fact I was dressed like an escaped mental patient and clutching a transparent trash bag containing the blood soaked clothes from yesterday, I’d decided against it and had asked the helpful volunteer at the admin desk if they could call me a cab. Even then I braced myself for the driver’s reaction to his strange passenger, but as it transpired, the driver, when he arrived, turned out to be a her and in my experience, women seemed to much less phased about these kinds of things than their male counterparts. A short Hispanic woman who bore more than a passing resemblance to Frohike, right down to the bushy eyebrows, didn’t bat an eyelid; she simply grabbed the bag from my hand, tossing it in to the backseat as she held the door open for me.

“Rough night?”

I laughed in spite of myself and rubbed the bridge of my nose.

“Yeah you could say that.”

She simply nodded and gestured that I should sit in the front next to her and I was grateful to not have to sit looking at Scully’s blood soaked clothing for the ten minute journey back to her apartment.

Once inside I gave her the address and leaned my head back against the seat, relaxing properly for the first time since that terrifying moment by the lake when Scully began to choke on her own blood. It happened less than 24 hours ago and yet seems like a lifetime. I am beginning to learn in the harshest way possible that nothing is constant where this disease is concerned. That in the blink of an eye everything changes. I hadn’t realised last time around just how much Scully had hidden from me and just how much she had coped with on her own.

How many times had she been puking up undigested blood after a nose bleed and had then followed me on whatever case I had managed to conjure up to ensure she kept moving? So that she wouldn’t have either the time or energy to walk away from me? Because by trying to keep things normal, I could deny what was happening. Until that final night on the sweeping stairway of the American University.

*I can’t go with you Mulder*.

I hadn’t even asked her why. Oh I knew her refusal to join me was directly tied to her cancer. But I hadn’t asked because for my own selfish reasons I wasn’t able to acknowledge it. That she was dying. Some fucking partner I turned out to be.

“Hey Mister....you okay?”

I snap abruptly back to the present day and realise with a start that we have arrived. I’m not sure how because it only seems like a few seconds since we pulled away from the hospital and joined the throngs of traffic heading in to the capitol.

“You zonked out on me” Mrs Frohike supplies helpfully and I shake my head in apology.

“Like I said. Rough night. I’m sorry, how much?” I glance at the meter and notice that the digital display is blank and am more than a little surprised when I feel a set of stubby fingers tighten briefly on my arm.

“Use it to buy your girl some flowers and tell her I said to get well soon.”

The kindness of a stranger.

And she called Scully ‘My girl’.

I can’t speak suddenly. The lump that formed in my throat makes it impossible. So I settle for a shaky smile that I know doesn’t quite come off and, after grabbing the bag of soiled clothes from the back, I exit the car.

Conscious that time is ticking and I want, no, need to be back at the hospital before Scully wakes up, I head straight for the wide double doors that grace the front of the beautiful old building that Scully calls home. And I realise perhaps for the first time that it feels like home for me too. Three months. Three short months is all it’s taken. Maybe it’s time I had a discussion with Scully about moving the fish in.

The concept makes me smile, a smile that freezes on my face as the familiar voice assails my senses from behind. My reaction is sudden and violent as I spin around to face a man who has brought nothing but misery and destruction to everyone and everything he comes in to contact with. As always a noxious blue cloud surrounds him, the smoke curling insidiously around him as though cloaking him in death and he is smiling at me. He has the audacity to smile at me. The cigarette smoking son of a bitch who calls himself my father. I would rather have been spawned by the devil himself; but then again, maybe I was.

His eyes settle on the bag I am still clutching at my side and his smile widens. It’s almost fatherly, jovial even and that alone makes me want to shove the barrel of my gun in to his mouth and blow the back of his fucking head off. Maybe it’s a good thing that it’s sat safely locked away in the apartment where I left it yesterday before we left for the park. I hadn’t wanted to carry a gun whilst walking with Scully through the autumn leaves beneath our feet. I just hadn’t felt the need.

“Did Agent Scully enjoy her Birthday gift?”

His oily unctuous voice reaches me somehow through the sudden white noise that seems to invade my every sense. And I recognise it as rage. Blind rage that he even has the audacity to speak her name.

“What did you say?”

My voice is low, dangerous, Icy in its control. Scully would be proud. Because what I actually want to do right now is to rip his head from his fucking shoulders.

“Her Birthday gift Fox. The one we gave her.”

I shake my head in an effort to clear it, as a horrified realisation suddenly hits me like an out of control boulder. Rolling towards me, gathering speed, unstoppable and unforgiving.

He caused it.

Yesterday.

The bleeding.

He caused it.

Somehow he caused it.

“You fucking black lunged bastard......” 

and I take a step towards him. I want to hurt this man so badly I can barely breathe. I want to systematically make him suffer in the same way he has made us suffer.

Has made Scully suffer.

But all it takes is for him to hold up his hand for me to stop in my tracks. Because I know. Suddenly I know that this is all a game to him.

“Now Fox. Don’t spoil things for yourself. Who knows what might happen to Scully if you do something rash.”

I ball my hands in to fists, the feel of my fingernails biting in to the flesh of my palms. But I welcome the pain. It tempers me just enough to remain where I am.

“What do you want from us? From me?”

He shakes his head

“You still haven’t figured it out have you Fox? I want nothing. Nothing but your loyalty. When the time comes.”

“When the time comes for what? you fucking double talking sick bastard.”

And when he doesn’t respond something inside me breaks free, I actually feel it give, like a rubber band stretched too tightly, unable to bear the pressure for even a second longer. All the years that this man has loomed like a spectre above us, controlling, manipulative, a manifestation of pure evil, hiding behind a conspiracy that destroys everything it comes in to contact with. And I can’t allow it to continue. For both Scully and I he has to be stopped, and I feel a sudden surge of satisfaction at the fear in his eyes as I lunge forwards and wrap my hands around his throat.

Continued chapter four.

[memsmedic1]

India part two (clinics in the jungle) 12/25/2016-1/8/2017

…The patient was a 32 y/o male who’d been carried by his friends on a homemade stretcher from a village 5 hours away! He had been sick and getting progressively worse for the past 11 days with fever and chills, nausea and vomiting, abdominal pain, and now bloody diarrhea.

The patient was semiconscious, feverish, hyperpneic, tachypneic (44 RR/min) tachycardic, diaphoretic, hypovolemic (78/62), with severe RUQ and RLQ abdominal pain and guarding.

After completing a detailed exam and ruling out other possible causes of his illness such as appendicitis, peritonitis, encephalitis, amebic dysentery, malaria, and arboviral fever, we decided to treat for septic shock as well as enteric fever and infectious colitis.

After treating him with ceftriaxone, ketamine, promethazine, cipro, metronidazole, paracetamol, and 3 liters of normal saline over the course of the afternoon we advised his friends to spend the night in the village and come see us again first thing in the morning.

Next morning he was back again and this time he could talk and sit up on his own! He stated that he felt much better and his vital signs were much closer to normal than yesterday, but he was still sick so he got another IV with fluids and antibiotics, and then we turfed him back home with strict instructions on how to take the oral antibiotics and ibuprofen we prescribed for him and to drink lots of water!

Over the course of the entire expedition we only had a handful of critical patients (6-8) who probably would have died without care and several of them were seen in this first village. One woman who was carried in from an even further outlying village on a bamboo stretcher was so sick that we requested for her to be flown out by the military, and since we were foreigners they agreed. She was flown to Dibrugarh where she spent a week in ICU but was able to recover.

In between taking care of the critical patients, I was able to help with the rest of the people who came to be seen also. First the patients would sign in to the register and get triaged. After triage they would form a line and go one by one into newly built bamboo and sheet exam rooms where one medical person and a translator would do a complete workup on the patient and then call one of the two MD’s in who would take report, perform any additional examinations and make a diagnosis.

Most of these cases were fairly straightforward: We saw a lot of children with parasites, sick babies, stomach pain, back pain, muscle and joint pain, non cardiac chest pain, headaches, and ear problems.

We also saw quite a few patients who required surgical procedures. I was able to assist with several including keloid scar removal, lancing a plugged sublingual salivary gland, repairing a cleft lip, and cutting out a subcutaneous cyst on a patients head.

The amazing thing is how incredibly grateful and appreciative the people were for everything we did, from giving worm medicine and children’s vitamins to complex treatments and procedures. Not once did anyone demand more than we had given or try to maximize their profit from us unlike the rest of India. Of course some of the patients were shy and didn’t want to tell us everything that was wrong with them when we were writing down the chief complaint so after giving them medicine or other help for their illness or injury I would always ask if they had any questions and they would sometimes say no but I also have these other problems… So it was very hard to gauge how long a certain patient might take to be seen!

The medical team worked in the first village for 3 days. The weather during this time was crystal clear and sunny during the day and nearly freezing at night. On the morning of our first hike however, we woke up to fog and rain. We decided to hold the clinic for 2 more hours before heading out to see the last of the patients but it ended up being 4 hours by the time we were finished!

Then we packed all the medicine and supplies into large bamboo baskets that would be portered to the next village we would be stopping in. The cooks who had been taking such good care of us made us one more meal of rice and vegetables and then we were off on our first hike!

We were on the trail for maybe 2 hours when we came to a small village which consisted of only a couple bamboo houses. In front of one of these had been constructed a brand new bamboo shelter with tables and benches underneath. The villagers had received word that we were traveling through today and had prepared a meal for us!

We were all still full from lunch but if we were to refuse to eat it would be very disappointing to the generous villagers so we gratefully took off our ponchos and backpacks and sat down at the brand new tables.

In addition to the standard ball of rice with curry we were also given an assortment of fruits to eat. We had bananas, tangerines, fresh and dried persimmons (amazing), and small round fruits that looked exactly like tiny dragon eggs! They are called “gelesuh ” and after peeling the scales off are translucent with a large pit in the center like a litchi, but they taste deliciously tart instead of sweet.

Even though it was fruit like this that was special for me anything that can’t be grown or harvested locally is what is prized by the mountain people. Because these villages are completely cut off from the outside world except by trail (including radio, tv, cellular service, electricity other than solar, and even satellite phone which is banned by the military due to sensitive geographic location) you can either hike the 5 days out to town and then carry your groceries back uphill for 5 plus days home or you can purchase your supplies and have them packed in by Chakma porters.

Chakmas’ are originally from Bangladesh and are well known for the heavy loads they are able to carry. They make their living portering flour, salt, oil, roofing tin, and other staples up into the valley for 150 to 200 rupees/kg ($2.38-$3.17). The packs our porters are carrying are quite heavy (40-50 kg) but were nothing compared to what these guys carry which can be over 80 or 90 kg.

A package of salt that is worth 10 rupees in the city is sold for 200 rupees up here because it is valued by weight.

After this scrumptious repast we donned our packs and ponchos and continued hiking down the slippery trail. After another hour or so the rain stopped and we were able to see the afternoon sun shining on all the fresh snow that had been dumped higher up the mountains.

Part of the time the trail led through the dense jungle and part of the time we followed along the side of the river.

As we walked along we kept our eyes open for wild animals. Part of the trail we were on led through one of india’s national parks which is the largest protected area in the Eastern Himalayans, and is well known as one of the richest areas of biodiversity in India.

Animals that call the park and this valley home include Bengal Tigers, Leopards, Snow Leopards, Clouded Leopards, many smaller cats, Asiatic Black Bears, Sun Bears, Dholes, wolves, Indian Elephants and many other herbivores, Red Pandas, Slow Loris, Eurasian Otters, linsangs, binturongs, civets, butterflies, birds, and 7 species of primates!

While we heard monkeys almost every day (I think they were watching us) the only other wild things I saw were lots of brilliantly colored butterflies, many different birds, and a flock of Hornbills.

After another couple hours we came to a small Nepali village where the villagers insisted we stop for refreshments yet again! Fortunately for me one of our critical patients from the first clinic was in this village so I was able to delicately sidestep total gluttony and go check on her. While she had been doing very well after being treated a couple days ago she was now hemorrhaging again and needed additional medical care that we couldn’t give because all our medical supplies were ahead with the porters. We told the family that we would send a team back in the morning with medicine and helped them figure out some things they could do for her in the meantime.

After this we continued on hiking but because of our late start, the rain and slippery trail, and all of our stops we didn’t arrive at the next village we were stopping in ‘till a few hours after dark.

By this time we were tired, sore, and had blisters from our wet shoes but this village was very happy to see us and cheered us up with a welcome celebration that included speeches, dances, and jungle flower leis for everybody! Afterwards we were shown to our quarters which was actually a house built with hand cut boards for the school teacher to live in.

We set up our supplies in the village school and held the clinic for 2 days. Even though this is the biggest village in the valley there were no critical patients here so I was able to focus entirely on taking care of regular patients, and there were lots of them! Early in the morning when we’d walk over to the pharmacy and exam rooms to get ready to start we would have a crowd beginning to gather, and after dark when we were exhausted and finished for the day we’d have another look and there would be more patients waiting than when we started!

The kids were so cute and curious, our translators told us that there had only been one other time foreigners visited them; two German or Australian naturalists studying and photographing the flora and fauna several years ago. So if a child hadn’t hiked out of the valley yet either to go to town or school we were some of the first or the first white people they had ever seen!

On December 30th we packed up and prepared to hike to our next stop, but first the villagers had a going away ceremony for thanking us for coming and helping. They also gave each of us a beautiful hand woven basket as a going away present and then we were off!

Back along the river and through the jungle we trekked, enjoying the warm sunny day and gorgeous views. Halfway through the days journey we came to a small village where they were expecting us for lunch. After we entered one of the bamboo huts and sat down around the wall we had a happy surprise: no rice for lunch! Today we were served tea, popcorn, tapioca root, purple yams, and sugarcane! After we finished we were able to see 5 or 6 patients from the area before continuing on our way. Again we had to hike after dark through the jungle for several hours to make it to our next clinic area (not recommended).

There are countless creeks and streams that must be crossed, some via bamboo or log bridge and some from boulder to boulder. Also the trail was riddled with areas that had been completely obliterated by landslides and some of these were very treacherous. Either the mud is so deep that you run the risk of becoming permanently planted or so unstable and slippery you risk sliding right off the former trail and over the edge of the mountain.

Our destination today was the smallest village we were scheduled to visit. We spent New Years Eve there seeing patients and for the first time were able to see everyone who came for treatment in one day and still have daylight leftover to wash our clothes and take baths in the river! To get to the river you had to walk through a large field of cardamom which is the cash crop of this area, through a section of jungle, down a part of the mountain so steep you have to use roots and vines to lower yourself down, through more jungle, and down the bank to the rushing, bigger than it looked from the helicopter, ice cold, crystal clear, glacier water!

After hanging around the fire for a couple hours talking and taking care of blisters we went to bed, but not for long! We were woken up just after midnight by several very loud firecrackers and then we heard a large group of people singing to us! To celebrate New Years here the villagers go caroling and write a Happy New Years message on all the doors in the village in addition to setting off fireworks if they can get them.

Next morning we wished each other a happy 2017 and began packing our backpacks and getting ready for our longest hike of the journey. We ate a delicious breakfast of tea, rice balls, and dal and were on the trail by 0730.

One of the American teams people had been kinda dragging for the last day or two and wasn’t eating much but she said she was fine and we thought it was probably just fatigue and a stomach virus.

Again we traveled through virgin jungle and along the pristine river under a sunny, clear, bright blue sky. The sleeping bag penetrating chill of the night soon wore off and we started shedding our jackets one by one. As happens every travel day, the group slowly spread out along the trail as we hiked along with the faster ones in front. The longest hike of the expedition was going to be today because we were passing through the least populated part of the valley. There will be no villages between where we stayed last night and the next village where they are expecting us tonight. There was not even anywhere for us to stop for lunch so we were all trying to make good time.

Early afternoon I was drooping along somewhere near the front of the lineup when I was overtaken by one of the other M-E.M.S. team members. He told me that one of our translators had caught up to him and said that the person who had looked a little sick earlier had suddenly become a lot sick and was hardly making any time at all. The two of them were trying to catch up to the front of the group where the porters were and grab some IV supplies and medicine for her.

I decided to go with them so the 3 of us jogged down the trail a couple more miles until we came upon some porters. We searched through their loads and found a bunch of saline and a drip set but none of the other supplies needed. We continued on a little farther and found another group of people including some porters and another M-E.M.S. member. After more searching through porters loads we had amassed an eclectic pile of IV crap and a couple meds but not the medicine or IV start supplies I was looking for. The porters told us that the items we were looking for was with the next group at the front of the expedition but that they were too far ahead to catch.

We decided we would just have to make what we had work so the 3 of us from M-E.M.S. started running back up the valley towards our days starting point looking for our patient. We would remember certain landmarks and say “surely they will have made it that far” only to have them come into view one by one devoid of life.

Finally just before sunset we caught sight of our goal slowly moving toward us. One of our translators was carrying the patient on his back and there were a couple other medical team members and porters with them.

After laying the patient down and everyone else quickly catching our breath we found out the patient had started off from the village this morning mostly ok but then started experiencing worsening nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, severe headache, weakness, and dizziness. When I checked her out the patient was cool, pale, diaphoretic, tachycardic, hypotensive, and dehydrated.

I patched together the supplies we had been able to find, started an IV, and gave her what medicine we had. Then we built a stretcher out of a bamboo pole and a hammock and got ready to retrace our steps a second time back down the trail.

This was easier said than done. For one thing there were creeks, streams, bamboo pole bridges, fallen trees, and landslides to cross, and for another even though we rotated out who was carrying the stretcher fairly often, when the translator/porter first came ahead to tell us there was a problem he had left his load along the trail so instead of resting between shifts whoever wasn’t carrying the patient had to tote a giant porters basket filled with clinic supplies!

After dark we continued on for 5 or 6 more hours using our headlamps but there was no way we would reach our destination that day. Fortunately one of our translators knew a family who had moved from the large village that we had held clinic at into this mostly unpopulated area to start growing a cardamom field and we were able to make it to their bamboo house and spend the night with them. They also gave us our first real meal since morning which was no small thing because they haven’t started growing rice yet. They have to carry in all their food that they can’t hunt or gather in the jungle!

The patient was still very sick and couldn’t eat or drink anything so we gave her more medicine, hung the IV bottle on the bamboo rafters above her section of floor space and kept it running all night.

In the morning we all felt very stiff and sore but the patient was feeling a little better and was able to walk with assistance. Our kind hosts made us rice cakes wrapped in leaves for us to take with us for breakfast and we started on our way again.

We added up the totals with our translators and figured out that the 3 of us who went back up the trail yesterday walked and ran a total of 27 miles, and most of that distance we were either carrying our backpacks or the patient!

Today we only had to hike 9 miles in order to catch up to the rest of the medical team, some of that way being through the jungle and a good portion of the distance along the bank of the river. Part of this was easy for our patient to walk over with sand and small rocks, but part of the river lay through a boulder field that would be covered by water during the rainy season and was a daunting challenge to clamber over one by one (still easier than blazing a new trail through the jungle though). We were all very grateful that our patient could get through this without being carried!

About halfway to the village where the team was holding clinic we were met by an emissary who was bringing us the medicine and supplies that we weren’t able to get from the lead porters the day before! Yesterday while running back to our patient we asked some of the team to send certain supplies back ASAP but we were just now getting what we needed. We took a trailside break and administered some additional meds to the patient which at least helped her maintain her current condition without worsening.

In a few more hours we arrived in the village that we were supposed to get to yesterday (too late for lunch although I wasn’t even hungry by this point), and after making the patient as comfortable as possible were finally able to take a rest! Somebody, though I don’t remember who it was due to my exhaustion, came over to where I was lying behind the medical supplies and took off my boots and washed my feet in cold water which helped immensely to rejuvenate me. After recovering for a bit we jumped into patient treatment mode along with the rest of the team who had already been seeing patients since early morning, and worked for the remainder of the day.

After clinic was finished for the evening Phillip came and talked to us and said that there was a problem. He was worried that the entire medical team would not be able to make it to the last village that we were scheduled to visit because it was not on the way out of the valley and the team had a lot of blistered feet and exhausted people in it by now plus a sick one. To get to the last village one would have to cross the river and climb a trail straight up the side of the mountain out of the river valley and back into the mountains.

Phillip didn’t want these villagers to be disappointed knowing that a medical team had passed within a few miles, were supposed to stop in their village, and didn’t, so he was wondering if the 3 of us from the Myanmar team and the optometry assistant would be willing to go provide care on our own (Phillip and Nio had to stay with the main group in case there were problems). I thought about my feet and muscles for a second or two and then said yes I’d be happy to go! The other three wanted to come also so we made preparations to leave the next day.

The next morning there were still a few patients we had to see and a couple procedures to do but after everything was done we helped pack up all the medicine, equipment, and supplies into the baskets that the porters accompanying us to the last village would carry. The rest of the team heading out of the valley had already left by the time we were packed up so we said goodbye to the villagers and we were off!

We had followed the river downstream for two or three hours when we came across 4 men who were from the village we were on our way to. They had been expecting us to arrive today and had come down to give us some fresh fruit from their village and guide/assist us with our gear on the journey there.

The nickname of this last village that we are heading to is “the fruit village” and we now saw why. Our new friends had brought tangerines, grapefruits, and pineapples for us to eat and fixed them for us right there on the riverbank!

After we were done we continued on down the river for a little farther then turned off onto an obscure trail into the jungle. After a few minutes we popped out into a large clearing where there were several recently harvested rice paddies with little ponies grazing on them. Our guides told us that this is where the fruit village grows their rice because it’s the closest level area to the village. At the far side of the paddies the mountains started abruptly and we soon found ourselves clearing the trail with our noses as we climbed up the remarkably vertical trail.

Up, up, up we went until we finally cleared the valley and started walking along the mostly level ridge for a few minutes. Then we turned and dropped down onto a flat shelf on the side of the mountain and walked into the village. Everywhere we looked we could see pineapple plants, banana trees, many different types of citrus trees, and persimmon trees all loaded with fruit growing in between the houses. After we dropped off our packs where we would be staying we decided to set up the clinic since it was still early and see as many patients today as we could.

The village had already prepared the small 3 room bamboo schoolhouse for us to use so we simply unpacked and organized everything in one room and started seeing patients in the others.

There were never more than a few patients at a time waiting to be seen so we were encouraged to keep going by thinking that we had almost seen everybody. However, every time we called a patient from the waiting room (bonfire) another one seemed to take their place!

Finally, a little after eleven we saw the very last patient and called it a day. We walked back to the house we were staying in and started warming up around the open fire pit. While we were sitting talking and unwinding some of the village women brought us supper that we hadn’t stopped to eat earlier! We ate and crashed because tomorrow was the last day and we had a long hike out to town.

Next morning after a breakfast of fruit we loaded up and started off. Leaving the village we took a different trail that lead in the direction of town and would save us considerable time. Also it wasn’t as steep!

After a couple hours we wound our way back down to the river and continued to walk along the bank. The river was much larger now than it was when we saw it last because it had been joined by another river. The river was quite wide, at least 7-8 feet deep, and still ice cold. Sometimes in order to follow the easiest route bamboo bridges have been constructed from one side to the other. These bridges are built every year at the beginning of dry season and wash away every year at the beginning of rainy season so they are only built well enough to get by. Every time we walked across one we unbuckled our backpacks in case the bridge broke or we lost our balance off the one or two bamboo poles available to walk on.

Other times there were large streams flowing into the river that were too small to justify a bridge so we just had to wade through.

Early afternoon as we were walking along we saw a group of people far up ahead of us. As we got closer we realized that it was the rest of the medical team! They had spent last night camping out along the river and hadn’t left as early as we did this morning.

We crisscrossed the river several more times with the bamboo getting slippery from a light drizzle that started falling. Finally we left the river and started up the last steep part of the trail to the road. This road is constantly under construction to push up into the valley we are leaving and is constantly being obliterated by landslides. Right now the road extends 18 miles out of town. Phillip had arraigned to have 4 taxi trucks meet us at the end of the road today but when we scrambled up the last of the trail and onto the road there was only one taxi who was there by chance dropping off Chakma porters. Because there was still no cell service this far out Nio caught a ride back to call for additional taxis once she got into service.

Because it takes an hour and a half just to drive the 18 miles to or from town we decided to start walking. After 2 or three hours four more taxis showed up for us and our hiking was officially over!

The Myanmar team spent a couple extra days after the American team left hanging out and recuperating with our new friends before taking a truck taxi the 7 hours south to Dibrugarh. On the 8th we said goodbye to India and flew back to Thailand with sore muscles and blisters but so grateful for this opportunity we had to be of service and explore a remote corner of the world while spreading peace, goodwill, and healing!