#i live with two people how did no one see i wasnt doing shit and wasnt eating???? im not even in the same room as them

[bunnyb34r]

I wish there was a way to convey to your neighbors that you wanna be alone when you're doing yard work sggdgdgd like just bc I'm visible to you and outside does not mean I wanna be friends 😭

And like I don't want to be RUDE to people I just wanna work in peace and do my outside chores 😭😭😭

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA for telling someone i can't be friends with them and returning a gift?

buckle up gamers, this is gonna be a long one. so i (22nb but i present fem) was out at the bars the other night just kinda hanging out, and a girl (26f) came up and started talking to me. she didnt really seem...super present i guess? and i talked to her to be nice and she had a cool outfit on. well i was a little drunk and ended up giving her my phone number and meeting her husband (39m) and they walked me home. the whole time she was talking about how she doesn't have any friends and her ex friends just wanted to get with her husband. she told me she was bi and i was like hey me too but im not interested in sex so that was cool. she ended up walking me home w her husband bc it was late which was nice, but they seemed really shocked i lived in such a nice apartment(i do, its expensive but my parents pay for it. im really privileged to be able to do that).

i saw her again today because she kept texting me about wanting to hang out, so i went for ice cream with her bc it was in a public place and i wasnt super comfortable going back to her apt with her. i paid for her ice cream bc she said her card wasnt working, nbd bc my parents have money and her and her husband aren't really well off. i said she could pay me back sometime, buy me ice cream or whatever another day, but she really fixated on it. she told me her husband thought i was cute which made me a little uncomfortable but i laughed it of, and then she kept talking about how she was bi and would date a girl and how she approached me not to date but to be a friend and then 'see where it goes.' she also told me she did porn online to make money which is fine w me, that she's on disability but that the money isnt really enough to live on, and that she'd been raped in the past and drugged which yanno a little overshare-y considering ive known her for three days but she really seemed like she needed someone to talk to and im good at listening. well her husband showed up out of nowhere bc he apparently tracks her phone and we all went back to their apartment bc i couldn't say no(im a doormat. i know) and she ended up giving me two pieces of jewelry in return for buying her ice cream which felt a little like overkill. i tried to refuse but she said she wouldn't ever wear them again so it would be fine. it was really kind of her but now i kind of feel i owe her back for them. the whole time i was there they seemed really eager to get me to move in nearby, and while its true that area is definitely cheaper my parents are really fine paying for my expensive apartment bc my tuition is a lot cheaper than my sibling's. she and her husband walked me home again, mentioning they might be going on a cruise in november if they could save up the money and that they could bring a friend. i said id almost definitely have school which they seemed to accept. they kind of seemed to want to see my place, but i told them it was really messy(it is) i have anxiety around having people in my space(i do) and that maybe they could come up another day and i could make dinner, and she told me she didn't like people cooking for her bc she'd been drugged in the past and that i could go over to their apartment again instead.

my parents think theres some really big red flags going on and i should try to break this off sooner rather than later. i pretty much agree. im not gonna ghost her and they dont think i should either, but that i should somehow return the jewelry in a kind way and tell her i cant really be super close friends. my mom had the idea to draw myself wearing the jewelry and then say i still have a memory of it but to return it bc i cant accept such a nice gift which i could try to do.

to be clear i am shit at communication and setting boundaries, im very aware of that, and most of this can be solved by telling her hey i can't accept this gift and im really busy for school a lot and im sorry i cant be as much as a friend as you need. but i still kinda feel like tah for leading her on almost and then breaking it off like everyone else in her life. ive been under a lot of stress bc of school and my stepgrandmother passing and trying to take care of my grandfather so trying to be friends with someone that seems kind of high maintenance is not really tenable for me.

so, wibta if i tried to let her down gently?

What are these acronyms?

[horatioo]

to add my own two cents on the current wilbur soot situation + people who are ragging on some of the other creators on youtube:

i understand when its adults, and adults who werent being mistreated by him. but people who are ragging on tommy (and saying tubbo and ranboo arent doing enough/speaking out enough or sth) are not really understanding what its like to have someone like that try to get close to you

if you watch wilburs early content with tommy, he is incredibly verbally abusive and constantly screaming at tommy as a "joke". and apparently this continues and even escalates in later content to the point of actual physical abuse (there is audio of him slapping tommy ON STREAM).

tubbo didnt get close to him but given how hes acted about tubbo in roleplay (and his roleplay persona seems less and less like a persona) i dont doubt he wouldve done horrid shit. i dont know ranboos situation but i can still see why itd be scary, especially knowing tommy, tubbo and ranboo are friends.

it is equally terrifying to know someone is physically injuring your friend and you cant do shit about it. i would know, i used to be genuinely scared people i knew were going to die because they were being abused so badly.

wilburs behavior never really made me comfortable. its part of the reason why i fell out of the fandom so fast

i didnt ever really pin down Why i didnt like watching his content w tommyinnit at the time and never really thought abt it after i stopped watching either of them. because ykw, it wasnt something that PINGED as wrong to me.

you wanna know why?

the vast majority of the people who have abused me acted the same fucking way as wilbur. and i am terrified of several of them to this day.

my most recent ex would yell at me and berate me as a "joke". an ex-friend would make fun of me as a "joke". fucking hell my abusive uncle used to scare me in person because he thought it was fucking funny and i dont doubt more physical things happened there that i dont remember.

it is fucking terrifying. it fucks with your head. you start thinking theyre right, youre being stupid and overreacting, and you ESPECIALLY start thinking this when it starts escalating and everyone around you still sees nothing wrong with it.

you start thinking nothings wrong with it and its just normal.

and then when you realize its not, sometimes its too fucking late and youre just stuck.

so yes, its terrible that none of the adults are actually supporting shubble as much as they are farming karma. (save for a select few, but i dont actually know anything about those ones, theyre newcomers to me.)

but for fucks sake, the people who he met as KIDS, who he manipulated into being closer and closer to him, are not "farming brownie points" or "avoiding the topic" and ESPECIALLY not tommy - i think people have forgotten that tommy is still close enough to wilbur location wise that he could genuinely be in danger if he did.

i dunno. it rubs me the wrong way when people think you can just magically come out against your abuser and there will be no consequences whatsoever, especially when you LIVE near them. nope! not how it works!

anyway, support shubble, support everyone else wilburs hurt, fuck wilbur soot, all that jazz. im not even into mcyt anymore, this is JUST from what i know from 2020-2021 and from posts on the situation on tumblr.

[elliespassagerprincess]

Scream for me- Part 2 (ellie williams x reader)

This is part 2 of a 3 part series! Part 3 will be released soon :)

pairing: ellie williams x fem!reader

requests are always open feel free to leave one!

warnings: HUGE warning for this one: mentions of gore, violence, detailed torture, murder, obsession

summary: In which not killing the pretty girl was the best mistake of her life

(if you want to be added to the tag list, just leave a comment and I'll tag you)

“Who are you?” she whispered fear evident in her eyes

Ellie had 2 options. One she could kill you. Two she could lie to you. Killing you wasnt an option. It never will be, now that she heard your voice she knew she was fucked. So she lied

“Ellie” she said her name simply

“Hi Ellie” you muttered softly, your guard still up. You were hesitant, but who wouldn’t be when there was a strange woman in your house.

“Why are you here?”

The room was tense. What was she supposed to say? Hey I break into your house daily to watch you sleep. No. That would scare you away. Ellie needed you. She needed to know your name.

“I was out” she started “didn’t realize it was time for the curfew”

“So you broke into someone’s house because you were scared of getting killed?”

“Yes”

“Well you should go through the front door next time” you chuckled “you scared me”

“I scared you?” that was the last thing Ellie wanted. She wanted you to feel safe by her. Comforted. She doesn’t care if the whole fucking world was scared of her, as long as you weren’t.

“Yes, god knows you could be Ghostface” You said with a laugh

Oh if only you knew

.·:*¨¨* ≈☆≈ *¨¨*:·.

You were nice to Ellie. You let her stay the night. You gave her soup. You even offered her to take your bed. God she was falling for you.  Apart from Joel there were rarely people that treated Ellie with respect. With kindness. She was a woman, a lesbian, and for some reason people saw this as a reason to treat her like shit. You being nice to her is breathe of fresh air. 

That’s why she loved being Ghostface. People feared her. People treated her with respect. They begged for her to stop. She loves being so powerful. And just being Ellie isn’t enough for her.

What happens if it was someone else that broke into your house? What happens if they harmed you? Who else do you treat this way? How could you be so polite to someone who broke into your house?

“What’s your name?” Ellie asked.

You said your name and Ellie repeated it a couple of time. A pretty name for a pretty girl.

She left the next morning and the weeks to come Ellie’s obsession grew more violent. More intense. She breaks into your house multiple times a day she steals things only to return them that same day, she needed you. She wanted to be in your presence. In Ellie’s mind you were already hers.

“Fuck” she moaned as the blade pierced her skin. She watched as the blood dripped onto the floor, your name freshly carved onto her pale skin.

“That’s it” she breathed as she watched the blood drip down her arm. “Gonna make you bleed for me” she whispered

“You’re going to fucking scream for me”

The wound healed. Your name now permanently carved into her skin. The polaroid she still has of you in her pocket.

Ellie killed every blonde in sight.  They reminded her of that girl, in the picture with you. It made her stomach turn in discomfort, she could vomit at the thought.

The girl who’s name she learned was Abby. Abby Anderson. A girl who lives in a different state that fly’s out once every four months to see you. (She found this information by listening to your conversations as she hid under your bed) This made Ellie mad. Saying she was mad was an understatement.

Ellie had to stop her. Better yet kill Abby. If Abby was gone Ellie could swoop in and comport you. She could make you love her. She could treat you better than Abby did.

But she had to practice. She had to get the best and most painful torture methods ready for Abby. And where else to practice than on the poor innocent residents of Jackson.

Drowning, suffocation, mutilation were all things Ellie thought of. She could throw a bottle of acid on Abby. Drown her in her own urine. Slit her abdomen open and force her to eat her organs raw. These were all things she wanted to do. But she couldn’t do it if you were home. She didn’t want to scare you.

 And she had the perfect plan.

.·:*¨¨* ≈☆≈ *¨¨*:·.

12 July 2034

Abby fucking Anderson was going to arrive today. Ellie felt like she was going to lose her shit. Her recent killing has gotten more violent. More brutal. She was practicing. Practicing for Abby. The people of Jackson fear Ghostface more than ever.

Her recent victim a 19-year-old girl. Hair completely cut off, a joker smile was cut onto her pretty face. Hands and feet cut of clean. Still up to this day no one knew where those body parts were.

She had to get her execution for Abby just right. Ellie watched secretly as you got more and more excited to meet up with your longtime friend. The nights she hid in your closet listening to your conversations with Abby made her sick.

Why didn’t you talk to her that way?

She decided the best thing would be to drug both of you. Abby would be drowsy and easier to attack, and you would fall asleep. This was a win-win situation for her. All the snacks you bought for you and Abby to share, she drugged it. She made sure to add more to your favorite snacks, so that you can hopefully sleep through the whole thing.

 She needed Abby to be awake. She needed her to see, to feel what will happen to her when she talks to someone that doesn’t belong to her.

Abby arrived and Ellie hid in the bathroom, listening to your squeals as you probably hugged the girl, the alarm sounded soon after indicating that everyone was already inside for lockdown. She waited. She did.

She listened to you laugh, to the two of you gossip, she heard it all. If she didn’t care for you as much as she did, she would’ve got up and killed aby right there and then.

 The house went silent after 3 hours not like she was counting or anything (she was). She lifts up the sleeve of her black hoodie and she kissed the scar of your name.

 “This is all for you baby” she spoke softly as she put on the mask and walked out the bathroom. The first place she went was the bedroom. And there she saw you as you lay quietly. And she went to close the door, hoping the drug worked. And she was off. Off the find Abby.

There the blonde stood in the kitchen, looking for something in the fridge, her words slurring: “where the fuck do- you do you k-keep the juice” she heard her say.

“Right here” Ellie said, the blonde turned around eyes wide not recognizing the voice.

“Who the fuck-“  but before she could even finish that sentence Ellie picked grabbed the bat she hid close by and hit Abby across the face with it. The blonde immediately fell to the ground.

“Night night you filthy bitch” Ellie whispered

Ellie moved quickly. Abby was bigger than her, she looked stronger. She could overpower her in no time. Ellie had to get her tied up, and quick.

Grabbing a rope and a pair of fluffy socks she stole from your room, she tied Abby up and gaged her, making sure the socks were stuffed down far enough, so whatever noise Abby would make would be muffled. She grabbed a pot of boiling water, throwing it on Abby and that that woke her up immediately.

Abby let out a mulled scream, eyes wide, face red and burning. Ellie laughed at the sight. She removed her mask: “look at me” Ellie demanded.

And Abby did. With tears in her eyes.

“You need to stay out of people’s relationships” an and just like that Ellie pulled out a bat with nails on, Abby’s eyes widened, another muffled scream left her mouth. Once again Ellie chuckled.

“She can’t hear you” Ellie said with a cocky grin, and with that she brought the bat down onto Abby’s left thigh. She watched as the nails sunk into the soft flesh and she laughed. Ellie was fucking enjoying it.

“Not so strong now are we” Ellie smiled as she brought up the bat to hit Abby in the shoulder. The scene was sinister, bloody. Satanic.

“15” Ellie said as she looked at bloody and bruised Abby.

“I hit you 15 times” she said in a song like voice. “I’m bored of this now” and with that she threw away the bat and pulled out a bottle of honey.

 “I saw this in a movie once” Ellie whispered to Abby as she threw the honey all over Abbys wounds. “Thought you might be the perfect person to test this on”, and she bent down to pull out a jar of ants. Abby let out a strangled noise as the ants started to eat at her wounds. Her head thrown back. Ellie grabbed herself a bag of popcorn and just watched. Abby was suffering. Just as she should.

As Ellie laughed and as Abby cried, no one heard a pair of footsteps coming. And before Ellie could even register what was going on, she saw Abby looking at something behind her.

“Abby?” the voice said

No. No. fuck her girl wasn’t supposed to see this.

Did the drugs wear off? Why were you here?  Was she too noisy?

Ellie slowly turned around seeing you holding onto the door frame, extremely pale. You looked like you were high.

 “Ellie” you breathed

Ellie got up and walked towards you: “baby this isn’t what it looks like”

 “no get away” you said weakly. You felt dizzy. Drunk. Your vision was blurry. As you tried moving away you fell to the ground clearly still drugged. And Ellie practically ran to you.

“It’s ok pretty girl I’ve got you”

“No” you whispered “get away from- “before you could even finish your sentence you passed out again. Abby let out another scream.

What the fuck was Ellie going to do?

part 3

Authors note: Thank you so much for reading! I hope you enjoyed, the last part is definitely going to be interesting remember you are loved and to always be kind

Yours truly,

Zia :)

My pookies <3 (the tag list): @macaroni676 @mqddieas @uraesthete @igoferalforelliewilliams @ellieseyesonly

[kumezyzo]

hii i love your work and i have a request- can you do where hes dating a famous singer instead of streamer? and like hes reacting to their music video like how he did with until i end up dead? it would be even cooler if he was in the video. i was thinking maybe the artist could release a music video like the song lie by nessa barret (aka a wedding) and the dreamteam is somewhere in there. This part isnt nessacary and you can make it inspired of any artist or mv you wanft but i feel it would be so cute when hes like "omg thats me" like he did with the until i end up dead mv!!

its taken me so long to come up with an mv idea that would work for this and that i could make so this wasnt a blurb (cause this was such a detailed ask) but thank you so much for requesting this!!! and i really hope this lives up to your expectations lol

i wrote this as if the song is like a breakup song and being hung up on an ex. and essentially, its flashbacks to when they were all cute or whatever, and then theres parralles to the actual breakup and after. bf!sap acting as the ex bf in all the scenes.

anyway, enjoy! or dont :) m.list

after your newest music video went up, bf!sapnap got a while bunch of requests to watch it.

"should react to yn's new music video!' he read the chat out loud

"guys ive heard the song like a million times already," he protested but already opening a new tab and going to youtube.

'you're in yn's new mv!!!' a donation read out loud.

he smiled at the monotone voice and started playing the video.

bf!sapnap who sings along to the song as it plays, admiring you everytime you were on the screen. but seeing as its quite literally your music video, your on the screen 80% of the time.

bf!sapnap who defends you the second someone says your music is bad.

bf!sapnap who sees himself in the music video and finds himself commenting on it.

"oh my god! thats me!!" "woah, that guys kinda hot..." "i would never treat my girlfriend like that"

"damn, shes hot." "wow she looks so good there" "guys, thats my girlfriend" "holy shit, peach, if youre watching this, text me"

bf!sapnap who also talks about how attractive he finds you the whole time.

'turn that shit off' a donation read out loud.

"shut the fuck up," he said looking at his chat. "fuck off my stream, im watching my girls music video."

he rolls his eyes as he sees the one rude comment in the sea of random other ones. aka supportive bf

bf!sapnap who has almost three hours worth of behind the scenes videos on his phone (it was a four day shoot).

its mostly videos of you and him goofing around. some videos of you doing things for the mv. some of them of him on set. some/most of them being of you guys fucking in your dressing room...

bf!sapnap who posts the behind the scenes (the appropriate ones and the shorter ones obvi) and people love them so much.

aka edits arise of you two being cute. and of you two looking so cool/hot.

its shorter than i expected.... -nony

[captain-is-king]

okay i didn’t want to annoy anyone with a stream of consciousness live-blogging of the episodes which CAME OUT TONIGHT!!!!! AHHHHHH!!!!!!

so here are the notes i took while watching if anyone wants to scream with me please feel free to do so

EDIT: HOLY SHIT IM A FUCKING IDIOT CHRIS IS CHRIS RODRIGUEZ!!! I WASNT EXPECTING HIM THIS SOON IN THE SERIES AT ALL. oh god and percy being friends with him now makes the betrayal so much worse oh shit oh man.

episode one:

- blackjack was percy seeing through the mist oh my god

- MYTHOMAGIC

- THIGHTY WHITIES

- oh my god they just trade sandwich toppings. that is so cute what the fuck

- grover psychanalyzing people. yes. good.

- mrs. dodds scene was underwhelming but that’s okay (edit: fight choreo is absolutely phenomenal the rest of the time)

- i am GASPING out loud at grover telling the headmaster

- obviously he’s doing it because it’s not safe for percy

- but WOOOOOOW

- eddie! what a cameo lmao

- i like that sally appears to argue with gabe more but also i’m worried she isn’t going to fucking murder gabe. it’s important to me that she kills that guy.

- also upset that percy probably won’t say “i know gabe would like to offer everyone in this lovely city free appliances” at the end

- near the septic tanks interesting detail to include 👀

- percy judging so hard like “you’re telling me found jesus”

- oh interesting the mist is responsible for grover which honestly makes more sense than hiding it? like if the mist takes care of monsters why not satyrs

- boys? i’m actually 24 I LOVE HIM

- mythomagic as training is fun

- would’ve been cooler if he swore on the styx and there was thunder but that’s okay

- omg i didn’t even realize his rain jacket was actually red until now. SUCH a good detail

- good animation of the minotaur very good

- oh my god the fight was the same like i could SEE the words on the page as i was watching it

- HE MUST BE THE ONE

- i grinned like a FOOL through the whole credits they’re so beautiful oh my god

episode two reactions under the cut!!!! i loved episode one but i liked episode two EVEN MORE so i have a lot of things to say.

episode two:

- annabeth just watching percy sleep with her arms crossed. she would.

- YOU DROOL WHEN YOU SLEEP oh my god the way she says it is like. so calculating. i always pictured it like a flippant thing in the book but no she’s like. angry. like it’s a remark on his character and she will use this detail to take him down in battle and it’s perfect and funny

- oh my god he’s turning away so grover doesn’t see him crying. i feel like this is a detail in the book somewhere but now i can’t find it happening so maybe i’m just losing it

- ok so the big house is not what i ever pictured but it is gorgeous and i love this version of it

- the diet coke

- but did you?

- he’s starting with me

- excuse me your highness

- dad? yes peter. it’s percy. exactly

- the audacity of mr. d. i’m obsessed

- “why must you ruin everything”

- omg the owls

- oh the cabins are so cool

- like one thing i never was able to picture was how camp was laid out and i just am eating so well this is so fun to look at

- I KNOW WHAT YOURE GOING THROUGH he really does though doesn’t he FUCK now i’m emotionally

- holy shit juniper????

- LMAO okay definitely not juniper she looks much older

- council of cloven elders is so much spookier than i thought

- mmmmm grover figured it out interesting

- also apparently names don’t have power. i mean that is the stance in heroes of olympus they did not care about names. so i get it

- so like. this is kronos? looking like the grim reaper in percy’s dreams?

- ok honestly the lack of annabeth so far is very upsetting

- mmmm “glory” interesting, luke

- who is this spunky kid with the hair

- YES. YES WHEELCHAIR USING DEMIGOD YES!!!

- idk why but them just using lighters takes me out of it. but it made me laugh

- yesssss hephaestus kids my beloved

- spunky kid with the hair is chris. NOW WHO THE FUCK IS CHRIS

- holy shit this is so sad. percy alone in the woods burning his candy

- OH MY GOD FOR HIS MOM oh my god i’m not going to survive this episode

- “i think i’ve made some friends here”

- oh this is too much. it’s giving “good kid” energy from the musical

- YES angry percy. i always felt like the musical emphasized how like. angry and upset percy was at his dad. obviously it’s a huge plot point in the book but it feels like more apparent in the musical and i always LOVED that about the musical so of course i LOVE that it is being emphasized in the show as well

- if percy doesn’t cut off medusas head and mail it to olympus after this and trying so hard to get his dad’s attention it will be SUCH a letdown i have to say it i’m sorry

- good bathroom scene. GOOD bathroom scene.

- are you stalking me annabeth

- yes

- oh i’m so in love with her

- like we knew she’d be phneomenal. but we’d seen so little of her in promo stuff!!! and i HAVE BEEN WAITING SO LONG TO SEE MY GIRL!!!!! AND HERE SHE FUCKING IS!!!!!!

- also saying annabeth is the head of the athena cabin and seeing tiny little annabeth is SO. funny. like we all knew it was funny that a twelve year old was in charge but SEEING it makes it so painfully obvious

- “she’s my little sister”

- they call them forbidden kids that’s a little silly but that’s fine

- also i enjoy that they’re talking about thalia-luke-annabeth earlier

- BABY ANNABETH HIDING IN AN ALLEY. oh i hope we get to actually SEE this scene one day because i do love it so

- “can you ask her to knock it off.” obsessed.

- these waterfalls are SO. cool. the one thing the descriptions of camp were always missing. i love a waterfall

- the kid playing the war drums has me laughing out loud

- laughing OUT LOUD at percy. flossing and peeing and whistling

- oh my god a lizard. i would too.

- just laying down. picking at a leaf

- i just noticed he actually has vans. skater!percy lives

- GUESS ILL LOSE DESERT PRIVILEGES good book line so glad it’s in here

- the fight choreo is SO. GOOD

- “NOT BAD HERO” ALSO GOOD BOOK LINE

- you were here the whole time and you didn’t help me? yes. what is wrong with you!!

- oh i love her SO. much. i love them both so fucking much

- one of my FAVORITE lines is “poseidon, earthshaker stormbringer. hail perseus jackson son of the sea god” and i’m so glad we got it

- i like jason mantzoukas because, like that post about gene wilder, you can really believe he’d let those kids die

- also one of my favorite scenes is annabeth being invisible in the big house the whole time percy is being offered a quest and chiron is like “someone already offered to go with you” and annabeth takes her hat off to reveal she has been there the whole time. and it’s always been so funny to me but i don’t mind that the humor of it was still maintained in the scene after capture the flag being altered a little bit. and we still got “not bad hero”

- oh shit are we not getting the oracle. i guess it makes sense. it’s a lot of time when someone can just tell percy they think it’s hades but like. actually. BETRAYED BY ONE WHO CALLS YOU A FRIEND!! FAIL TO SAVE WHAT MATTERS MOST!! ITS KIND OF IMPORTANT and the oracle is like a very important plot point later

- I AM SALLY JACKSON’S SON. YOU TELL THEM

[sun-stricken]

I hope this isn’t too much of a bother but do you have any hcs abt grays time in avatar? Cannon is frustratingly vague about his time there. Have a nice day!

i totally thought i responded to this days ago holy shit its been a minute

I havent read or watched the avatar arc in forever, and refuse to do it again so i played it a bit fast and loose with the dynamic

This gets a bit dark, just a little forewarning

* if you asked the mages that shared his time at avatar, Gray had earned the reputation of someone callous and cold and untouchable, who didnt get his hands dirty

* he used more charismatic techniques to obtain information, or fear, but it was rare to see him physically harm them

* If you asked Gray about his time in avatar, he wouldn’t give you a straight answer, if he gave one at all

* Avatar knew who he was, for an undercover mission he wasnt under a whole lot of cover. He was sent in as himself, his “cover/backstory” was a lot of half truths and a warped narrative

* He climbed through the ranks faster than expected, which caused a lot of rumors and speculation, such as maybe the ‘Higher Ups’ were so enthralled by an ex-light guid member turning over they rushed him through, or he did something so heinous they were impressed, or maybe he slept with them

* there were a lot of rumors.

* Of course, most arent true, Gray just had more to offer than the average person

* In most dark guilds / cults there are ‘trials’ of sort to prove someone loyalty, hazings of sorts

* He had to go through them ten times over

* It lasted weeks, around a quarter of the time spent at Avatar was his ‘initiation’

* There were certain points where Gray thought they might actually break him

* He refused to use his ice-make magic during his time in Avatar, he couldnt bear using Urs magic for something like this

* He developed these piercing migraines from his eyes constantly darting around his surrounding, and he rarely slept

* Avatar wasnt a inherently paranoid guild, but it was protective and unrelenting, being caught as a traitor was terms for a public violent execution

* There were two other alleged traitors in Grays time there, when they were accused they were tortured and executed in front of the entire ‘guild’

* and he wouldn’t allow himself to even twitch in case that set his own death in motion, It just served to further his reputation

* He never told Erza about this.

* Despite his reputation, the untouchable aura he gave off proved attractive to some people, they thinking being seen fraternizing with someone like him would earn them some respect, and given some of the rumors surrounding him, they thought he would reciprocate

* He didnt, for obvious reasons, and he often left the more handsy and assertive with frostbite and frozen to the ground for hours

* He had bi-weekly check-ins with Erza so he could relay his and their progress and so she could gauge his mental state; Gray gave her watered down versions of the things hed seen and endured during the months he was there unless it pertained to what she needed to close the operation

* He and Erza had a system where he would call her and she would help him smuggle out any victims Avatar took for information or as a message

* He had killed once while in Avatar, it was a man they were ‘interrogating’ who couldn’t provide anymore information and they couldnt just let him go, so they entrusted Gray taking care of him while they watched, it was a test to see if he would, it was as fast and humane as killing someone can be but he will never ‘get over’ it

* He can still remember exactly how he looked, how he sounded, down to the smallest detail

* That was what almost broke him

* He didnt draw it out, it was fast and clean, which was another reason for his ‘doesn’t get his hands dirty’ reputation

* He tried to live by the ‘the ends justify the means’ principle, he survived Avatar by doing what he had to, regardless of what that was that was

* He tried so hard to help himself cope with it, but he just couldnt no matter how hard he tried

* Even though he acted annoyed when the rest of his team burst into Avatar and tore down his whole operation, he was relieved, so fucking relieved he didnt have to stay any longer

* The transition after Avatar was, for lack of a better term, fucking terrible. there was a lot of panic and guilt and paranoia and dissociating to get him through it

* He trained his instincts to act to the slightest trouble, which would be fine considering every movement towards him before was trouble

* But hes back with his friends now, with the people who wouldnt hurt him. So instead of being proud of his reflexes all he feels is panic and guilt

* Gray was constantly searching for an exit and always kept one open and in sight, and would forget he was with safe people and lash out if they blocked one

* Months following the reformation of Fairy Tail held a lot of blanks for Gray, his brain in an attempt to finally protect him would have him go on autopilot, dissociate. He did this a lot early on after Deloria but he thought he ‘grew out of it’, clearly not

* His sleep got even worse after Avatar, he thought the familiar environment would help him but it only made him more on edge

* He knew what could happen to them if he let himself sleep at the guild, the thought of something happening while was taking a fucking nap was nauseating enough that his brain wouldn’t let him let his guard down enough to feel tired

* And sleeping at home was out of the question completely, if a dark mage decided tonight was the night for vengeance against him for tearing apart their cult, how could he defend himself if he was asleep?

* This was fine for a while, but when the adrenaline crash of no longer actually needing to be on guard 24/7 and the weeks of no more than half an hour (involuntary) naps caught up to him, it caught hard

* i mean, it was brutal, collapsed at the first moment of relative peace he came across, it felt almost like withdrawal, with a lot of sleeping

* in some ways he feels so fucking angry and almost betrayed by Erza for asking him to go undercover for her, for making him go through everything he did. But he knows if he didnt its possible she wouldve, and he would do it all over again if it meant that wouldnt happen.

* In other way, hes angry at himself for letting himself get to this point, for letting them break something in him like they did.

* He’ll realistically never be able to go back to before, never be able to trust people, his friends, truly and without reservation again

i hate the avatar arc sometimes but it provides such good material

[theosconfessions]

For the emoji OC ask game and character of your choice: 🍼, 🍄, 🍉, 🥭, 🍕, 🍯, 🧀, 🥑, 🌸, 🍆, 🥔

Dustin Stephens

🍼 [BABY BOTTLE] What's your OC's first memory?

Dustin: i think my moms face..just carrying me somewhere. [smirks] feeling all protected and shit. that wasnt the case as i got older. but i hope that my babies have a safe memory to look back on too as their first memory. im curious now ill have to ask them

🍄 [MUSHROOM] How likely is your OC to eat random berries/mushrooms they find?

Dustin: no no 0/10.. my husband though....would and has done..so i guess i dont need to [laughs]

🍉 [WATERMELON] What will your OC take to the grave?

Dustin: well something that theo doesnt know is that i did have someone i was seeing in the time that we were apart. i just never brought it up because it was just like some fling you know.. to try and get over him which absolutely failed because all i could do was think of him

🍍 [PINEAPPLE] Pineapple on pizza or not?

Dustin: im sorry but OKAY IM DOWN.

🍕 [PIZZA SLICE] How good is your OC at sharing? How do they share something if there's not enough supply?

Dustin: well with my husband im apparently so good at sharing and i never knew it [shakes head ] that being said if i have control over something im not sharing it. i think maybe thats why. it all stemmed from theo [laughs] jesus christ.

🍯 [HONEY] At what point does someone seem sickly sweet to your OC?

Dustin: i think when the compliments are just like over the top then im suspicious you know ?? like maybe im reading the question wrong and i obviously have some trust issues but im like okay thats suspicious.

🧀 [CHEESE WEDGE] How often does your OC get into situations that rely on pure luck/miracles happening?

Dustin: oh my god. ME when i was younger. nowadays not so much because i have two young twins that i have to be like on my shit for but when i was younger? FUCK ALL OF THE TIME.

🥑 [AVACADO] What will they never back down about, even if it makes them seem bad?

Dustin: i think over the years i had to defend myself and why exactly i stayed married to theo for so long. and we werent together the whole time i did leave him but the fact that we came back together and we had the twins looked OFF to a lot of my family. i get that. i do . theo didnt want a commitment and we stayed married long past we probably shouldve.. but i think one of things i will never back down about is that when he came back into our lives... he made himself WORTHY of having me . i didnt make it easy on him and i know it seems like im just being stepped on by him at leats to my friends it does but its not the case. and i kinda hope to explain that as time goes on.what happend. why were' back together and why we have the twins.

🌸 [CHERRY BLOSSOM] Does your OC believe in legends/myths?

Dustin: oh my god fuck yeah. you will not catch me in the appalachian mountains.byeeeee

🍆 [EGGPLANT] How are they used by others? How easily are they tricked into this?

Dustin : [smirks]

🥔 [POTATO] What do they have that others see as a flaw, but they don't care about?

Dustin: my trust. i think people think i give too many chances but i only do that if i think you deserve it you know.that being said i warn my kids now.. do not do as i do .

thank you for the questions love! i really loved doing this with dusty! after scarletts bc im going to expand on dustins sides of things some more. where the twins came from all that .

[billkaulitzwife]

More Stupid Shit My Friends and I Have Said Feat. The Outsiders

Ponyboy

"Are you seriously on fucking Tomodachi life rn."

"What's your tit size? I MEANT KITTEN BITE. I MEANT WHAT DOES YOUR KITTEN BITE."

"If I had a nickel for every time I got confused I'd be a fucking millionaire."

Sodapop

"I'm mad at you now. I was watching a Livestream of a bird eating and I had to click on your notification."

"I don't own the cat. The cat owns me"

"I love fruit. Why? My boyfriends a fucking fruitbowl, c'mon now."

Darry

"Shit I burnt the grilled cheese." *Goes outside and throws it at a squirrel* "Eat it or I'll kill you."

"What the fuck do you mean Johnny's getting married to Elvis??"

"I've never had a soda so when my mom brings soda home we all worry."

"You caused a Chain reaction. You got suspended last week then Pony tells me 10 girls got suspended today."

Addie

"I tried to quit smoking. Yeah didn't last long."

"What animal are Teletubbies?"

"They call me grilled cheese cuz I make a mean one."

Dallas

"They call you queen bee cuz u been fuckin all of 'em."

"Next time I see Cherry Valance I'm throwing a box of cherries at her. Bitch."

"What animal is Mickey Mouse?"

Johnny

"How the fuck do people on Discord have my Snapchat, too."

"If I had a nickel for everytime I worried you guys I'd be in California."

"Guys I'm almost 17 :)"

Two-Bit

"Nuh-uh."

"I guess you could say that I am... a little silly in the morning."

*Talking to Steve while high* "Did you see how high Addie was this morning at school?"

"If I had a Nickel."

Steve

"I had a grilled cheese for breakfast."

"I'm not gay but my boyfriend is."

"If I had a Nickel for everytime I had something on my face I'd be on a yacht right now instead of staring at y'all's ugly bitch asses."

-_-_-_-_-_-

Addie: I know how to shoot a shotgun.

Darry: HOW?

Steve and Dallas, in the corner: 😳

-_-_-_-_-_-

Steve: That grilled cheese was good. Thanks Ads.

Addie: I made one and you live a mile away.

-_-_-_-_-_-

*Dallas and his mom in an argument*

His Gramma: *Sends a weird Facebook meme.*

Dallas: 🤓

-_-_-_-_-_-

Dallas: I remember when I used to sit on Santa's lap.

Johnny: Just like when some adult man made me sit on his!

Everyone else: 😥

-_-_-_-_-_-

Steve: Hey, hun did you check on the kids?

Sodapop: Hey, twins, Johnny, dinner's almost ready.

-_-_-_-_-_-

Darry: Top four animals

Addie: Kittens, frogs, turtles... Beluga.

Two-Bit: Birds-

Addie: BIRDSSSSSS OH MY GOD HOWD I FORGE-

-_-_-_-_-_-

Steve: I want a toasted cheese sandwich.

Pony: A fucking grilled cheese?

-_-_-_-_-_-

*Curtises hanging with their cousins*

The ginger cousin: I need to know what animal I would be and why.

Sodapop: LEPRECHAUN

Pony: A whale.

Cousin: HEY

-_-_-_-_-_-

Darry Curtis (active 4 hours ago): Phones on the tabke when you get home.

Ponyboy McLovin Curtis (Active Now): WHAT DID I DO

addie curtis (Active Now): are you serious.

Coca-Cola (Active Now): what happened

Darry Curtis (Active Now): None of you. Dallas and Steve.

Daddy dallas winston(Active.): is it cuz I took addie out to dinner or because we went to the shooting range after

Stevie (Active): I wasnt thwre i promise

Darry Curtis: what is this then *sends a picture of addie and dallas holding guns like bonnie and clyde while Steve is in the middle smiling huge*

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

guys i made a grilled cheese for the first time so These are mostly shit ive said. also ive found tumblr to actually be a safe space so idk.

[sleepdeprivedvigilante]

Ok but theres TWO characters, TWO CHARACTERS, who give me the same fucking vibe.

Damian Wayne and Selwyn Kane

LISTEN- THEY ARE BOTH SELF-LOATHING BLACK HAIRED TEENAGERS THAT HAVE TO DO WITH SOMETHING "demon"OR POWERS THROUGH A SIDE OF THE FAMILY.

They both were forced into the roles of soldier/Bodyguard/Assasin/vigilante at a young age, and sure you can argue for damian that it was bound to happen or else he would have risked himself and he already raised as an assasin, same with selwyn, If he wasnt oathed to nick he would have transformed into a full demon he didnt really get a choice and he ddint want to loose his humanity.

SEE:

-Both forced into roles that no chikd should be put through, highly dangerous and/or with high manipulation and torture

-Both didn't get a choice even if they "had " to choose. Damian was already soon of the Bat and he was already raised a ninja, groomed to be heir of both. Selwyn the son of a merlin who since his birth was groomed to become the Kingsmage, who as a child got sent to live with this Family and tasked to protect A community of die/loose his humanity.

-Both have deep trauma and self-loathing.

Like, Damian feels the guilt over the deaths on his shoulders fron when he was a child assasin, thats very deep guilt, mixed with his families treatment him,(not all bad but they could do better), he has very self sacrificial tendencies seeing himself as expendable and preferring others lifes over his own (In a very concerning level of suicidal ideation).

Sel has a similar deal, he deals with a lot of pain and grief from how he treated Bree to his mother abandoning him mixed with the regents and legenborns abuse of him, that and he feeks pain and doesnt show it and he makes choices and sacrifices himself especially due to that guilt.

-Both got them mommy issues

We dont know that much about Sels mother apart from that she can resist turning and she was friends with brees mother, we have few glimpses of her but thats it. We know this, Sel feels deep grief and pain over loosing her, he also is upset that she didn't come back for him, and angry on her behalf cause he can and cant justify her actions.

we have more information about damians mom and we know she loved him and its mutual, but Damian did get dropped off at his father after years, they didnt even meet until certain age for Damian, Damian was also trained since birth and he loves his mom, he cant condone her actions, he cant justify them and it pains him because its still his mom.

-They both are Dry humoured Emotionally constipated Teenager emos.

BOTH their characters are very angsty and dramatic but have a sense of dry humour and comedy.

Like Sometimes its cruel due to being defensive and sometimes its funny saracasm or something just makes them so done. Like Sel after bree told him to say something and he did exactly that, or the jokes they have,same with damian, Like the joke about the crowbar to jason in robin 2021, there he was defensive and trying to get the rise out of someone but it was dry cruel humour, very funny and also their humour is a mix of angst and "Try me bitch" so they will say espontaneous shit thats funny or obvious sarcasm mixed with the joke of "I need therapy" Because thats their mindset (And no Damian wayne is not the feral eight year old brat that cant ever laugh that some people think he is,he is a teenager and has developed well through the comics)

-They are self aware as fuck and idiots.

They can probably go on and say the most concerning shit about their childhood like being raised as an assasin or taken as a child. Selwyn joked about trying to help bree when she needs Just a much therapy than him or even more, and then he jokes saying no one needs more therapy than him, and then theres damian talking/Thinking about his childhood and sometimes realizing how messed up it was, or how it upset him to do certain things.

-They both are dramtic as shit and speak with a fancy air.

Like holy shit (I do too but i read too much) the calling people Full names or fancy titles miced with spite, or the way they speak bejng all "Thine thou shant" dramatic, or how damian Would give a speech to jason to electrocute him dramatically or Sel just being sel edgy.

Anyways theres a lot of similarities and differences but this characters are literally same.

[dykeseesgod]

what well its just that you havent spoken to me in years except to call me a faggot or to dislocate my shoulder and you know what else is missing besides an attentive listener a segue i suppose forgive my bluntness please dont hit me but i could giv two shits about you or your vacant mind or your morbid curiosities or your dead fucking dog so why dont you just leave i never dislocated your shoulder according to my doctor you did in shop class last spring you twisted my arm behind my back and said you wouldnt let go until i said and i quote i like to get it up the ass i was just playing around with you oh that makes me feel so much better you know through my screams and the searing pain i can definely recall hearing laughter any way i can contribute to the fun of the group we were just messing around with you fuck you cb id rather you say we beat the shit out of you because we cant stand you rather than youre just messing with me that implies light teasing or slightly oproprious behavior i havent eaten in the cafeteria in 2 years for fear of going home with some part of it smeared across my shirt i havent been to the bathroom on campus since my head got slammed into a wall i believe you were there i didnt do that well you didnt stop it either and the faculty doesnt care you know what im tired of hearing they only pick on you because of your own insecurities aw jeez mrs blank now that you said that my head doesnt hurt so much and people wonder why kids bring guns to school to shoot you fuckers down maybe youre not the bully but you stand idly by and watch and to me thats even worse so please just go youre being hostile and im just trying to have a conversation with you like a civilized i dont want to talk to you i just want to be left alone i dont need social pointers i just want an apology for the five minutes youve stolen from my day see this is why you dont have friends i think we both know why i dont have any friends oh dont be so melodramatic youre in here crying about a dead dog and im being melodramatic shut the fuck up about my dog ok or what youll hit me go ahead ill show you how people get hurt and dont run away to cry like a big fucking baby whats so funny asshole im sorry nothing i dont see anything to laugh at its nothing its just that i was scared of you for like a second im sorry no its ok i deserved it promise me you wont bring a gun to school i dont even know where id get one you were one of my best friends you all were i just dont get it can i be honest if its any consolation none of us knew what to say to you after your dad got arrested it was pretty awkward it was more awkward for me im sorry we werent there for you that means a lot see now youre being sarcastic again no i wasnt its hard to tell with you truce i wasnt fighting a war but sure truce are you i dont know ive never had sex so kinda hard to tell at this point what about my dad im not sure thats considered sex you remember how my dog used to howl when you played the piano yeah i always found it pretty annoying he was singing along what do you think happens to animals when they die they go to heaven you believe in heaven sure there has to be some reward for living through all this and you think there are animals there in heaven the wolf will live with the lamb the lion will lie down with the goat and the calf the lion and the yearling together and a child will lead them the cow will feed with the bear their young will lie down together and the lion will eat straw like the ox the infant will play near the hole of the cobra and the child will put his hand into the vipers nest but my dog killed a living thing wouldnt god be mad he was sick cb he couldnt help it you know they say a dog sees god in his master and a cat looks in the mirror i hate cats me too

[the-greasers-angel]

“Please?” 

You walked slowly to your house as you saw the lights on “shit” you thought to yourself it wouldn't have been that big of a deal usually but it was two in the morning and you were a curtis sibling. 

When you saw the lights on you sighed already knowing that you have been caught, see you has a secret that nobody knew about which was you were dating somebody but not just anybody no it was a person in the gang. There was a reason why you didnt tell anybody and no it wasnt cause you were embarrassed of them god you didnt think you could be but you agreed not to say anything because you wanted to see how well you did without people were doing ( and because you have a feeling of how your brothers would react-) 

You took a deep breath as you opened the door to the house seeing Darry, Soda, Pony, And Johnny all awake. “Where the hell were you!?” Darry said as he got up from his chair looking at you “oh um i was at a friend's house” you said a little taken back “Uh huh and you didnt think to tell anybody? Seriously, what were you thinking y/n?” he said looking down at you

 “ I'm sorry alright it won't happen” you said trying to walk back to your room “ like hell it wont, besides who were you with anyways” he asked as everyone looked at you “ oh um angela’s house. “ 

“ No you werent i already called the shepherds and they said you werent there so i'm going to ask again where were you.” he saint your eyes widened a little as you looked away “ no where alright now im going to bed “ you said as you marched your way to your room closing and locking the door. Darry followed on you knocking on the door “Open up y/n now.” he said as he tried to open the door “ go to bed “ you said in return as he knew you werent gonna open the door mumbling words under his breath as he walked away. You laid on your bed almost instantly falling asleep.

⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡✩

The next morning you woke up decently late as you yawned rubbing your eyes sitting up from your bed. You got dressed into a new pair of jeans and a tank top as you unlocked your door and walked out into the living room seeing the whole gang there. 

“ Well well well look who decided to join us “ dally said with a slight grin on his face as you rolled your eyes “ cut it out dal” you said with a yawn. “For the love of god tell me it wasent dally” darry said “hey!” dally said jokingly as you shook your head no “ No boss i wasent with the crime lord last night” you said as you walked into the kitchen and pored yourself a cup of juice. A couple minutes later steve walked into the kitchen looking around to make sure no one couple see as he kissed you gently “ mornin baby” he said quietly with a smile on his face. You gave him a smile in return “ hi baby, so i think its time we tell them that were together please” he looked at you a little confused for a moment “ dar caught me sneakin in last night’’ you said as he shook his head a little “ do you think its time?” he asked as you smiled softly nodding and grabbed his hand. Steve nodded as he lifted your hand up kissing it, letting go of his hand the two of you walked out into the living room where everybody was at “ Alright everybody i have an announcement “ you said as everybody looked at you “Me and steve are dating “ you said as you gently grabbed his hand. The gang was a little shocked at first but really excited and supportive in the end.

However that didnt stop darry and sodapop from giving steve the “ if you hurt them ill kill you “ talk

[megamindsecretlair]

I know you’ve seen Mea Culpa👀

You know I did 🫠

It was good! It wasnt AS bad as I was thinking. It definitely couldve been better. Idk why Tyler Perry thinks its a flex to write, direct, and produce these movies in 20 days but he clearly has no real friends. No one's telling him to fn quit. And he needs some real therapy.

Its becoming abundantly clear how he really feels/thinks about Black women and men, specifically dark skinned Black people.

Either he wanted to fuck Trevante or wanted to be that character, maybe some combination of the two, but lawdt. I have more questions at the end of this than answers. But I'll take more Trevante. 🥵 baby, the way I want to rewrite that entire movie 🫠🫠🫠

Like forgive my ego, but it couldve been handled so much better! Spoilers under the cut!!!

See, me personally, I feel like Kelly played it entirely too cold. She was cleary bitter about her aint shit husband and I dont condone cheating, but if there was ever a good reason for it 😪

The mom was entirely too fuckin nasty towards her and Charlise. Entirely too much venom. Especially considering that you don't find out why until the last 30mins of the movie. And it comes off like emotional incest, because why is she that invested her in sons' lives???

I still dont know what happened with the blood and bone fragments found in the paintings. Sure you can say it was planted by the brother in law, but I needed that explicitly stated. Why were there paintings in the brother in laws house? Why did Zyair paint all over that lady's portrait?

Were they together? Chuz he said they werent and then referred to her as a gf? And why was Hydie hiding out in the DR, scared out of her mind if Zyair posed no threat to her?

I also dont know why TP loves hitting on Black women. Like that part of it was sooo unnecessary. Her WEAK ass husband didnt have to hit her in the end. And TP petty as hell for the bill scene. You KNOW that was in response to his BS commentary on how Black women need to be happy with the bare minimum.

Zyair could have been more interesting. He came off so pushy? More worried about getting her in bed than the seduction. The corruption. Slowly driving her insane with lust. I didnt like that she hopped on him after fucking the snow patrol, and in response to her weak ass husband. Like he shouldnt have been a factor. Fuck him 🤷🏽‍♀️

Plot holes aside, I genuinely did like it. I juss wish there was more than one sex scene between them. Because fuhhh that was hot 🥵🥵 Ill be honest, I wanted a court drama 😪🤣🤣

I do like that she didnt stay with him in the end and he continued bout his fuck boy activites. Hes so disrespectful. Jeebus, I need him 🥵🥵🥵

[nikkisixxsgirlfriend]

that girl put a spell on me

eddie munson x hippie!byers!reader

joyce was a hippie in the 60s and 70s you cannot convince me otherwise

you had begun wearing your moms old clothes.joyce never had any complaints about sharing clothes.so you usually borrowed pieces from her closet.and a while ago you found yourself looking at the long skirts and colourful clothes that most definitely belonged to a hippie.you could smell the faint smell of weed on them.and you made fun of your mother about it for days.

until eventually she made fun of you for wearing the same clothes.you were drawn to the clothes,the ideologies,the music and before you knew it you were in ankle length skirts with flowers in your hair.

you didnt really care how people perceived you.and its not like your family wasn't used to the judgement of outsiders.but still you never wore the clothes outside.you kept them in your home where they wouldnt be ridiculed.

until today.you had no clean clothes.your family wasnt exactly the clean sunday morning chores type so after digging through piles and piles you realized that was your only option. so you put the outfit on and mentally prepared yourself.

your mom and will complimented you but you were sweating like crazy.its hard to hide in a small town.and sure it wasnt a big deal,but you knew the kind of shit jason and the cheer team put freaks through.

jonathon could tell you were nervous in the car.

"you look good you know"

"yeah im just worried."

"about what?"

"about those asshole preppies saying something."

"if they say anything i'll beat em up" he offered. which made you burst out laughing. "im serious,i can pack a mean punch." he smiled.

"i dont believe you in the slightest."

"i mean it,last year i managed to beat steve harrington."

"bullshit" you scoffed.

"im serious,he ended up with a black eye for weeks" he rebuttled. the conversation put a smile on your face and distracted you from how nervous you were.

jane chimed in from the backseat telling you how pretty you were."i made you this" she said,handing you a flower crown "max taught me how." you thanked her and put the crown on your head.

no one was going to let you live this down.even if you changed your clothes back tommorow.

you'd made it your goal to not attract attention to yourself at school.to not get a reputation.in a small town a bad reputation doesnt do you any good.

you saw how they treated will,jonathon,jane,hell how they treated eddie munson and all he did was wear a dio jacket.

you walked into school with a smiley sister who had left to talk to max.a glaring older brother who left to talk to his girlfriend.and a younger brother who ran off to talk about dungeons and dragons with his dorky friends.

and thats when it hit.everybody was looking at you.the fact that they stared at you and judged you for something as simple as an outfit pissed you off.yeah yeah you were supposed to be all love and peace but you could hear it.hear them insulting you.calling you a weirdo.making up rumours about how your mom was probably too poor or crazy.

and yeah those rumours might be true but fuck,it made you wanna scream.

"i think you look killer."the voice next to you said,snapping you out of your thoughts. you closed your locker and turned to see eddie munson.

"yeah well i think its just you.before today i had no reputation,and now im the girl who wears hand me downs and hang out with eddie munson."

"you say that like its a bad thing." he smiled.

you two began walking. "its not a bad thing that im talking to you its just that everyone thinks im some whacked out hippie now."

"well,are you?"

"bordering on it.what about you?are you really such a freak?"

"in more ways than one." he joked.

"besides who gives a shit what they think." he continued.

"i do,my family gets enough shit from this town as it is."

"youre taking this very negatively."

"whats not to take negatively?"

"well,youre a freak now." "why thank you eddie,that makes me feel better." "just let me finish.youre a freak now,no matter what you do,you'll always be a freak from now on.so embrace it.do whatever you want.no matter what everyone will think its just you." he turned to you,placing his hand on your shoulder.

"join the dark side __ "

"you are such a nerd" you smiled.

"and you are a nature loving weirdo" he smiled back.

you two kept walking and suddenly you didnt care what everyone was thinking or saying.

"so is it true that hippies like to cut class and go smoke with their friends?" eddie offered.

"this one definitely does." you smiled.placing your flower crown atop eddies head.

━━━━━━༻❁༺━━━━━━

"its true,you really can pack a punch." you laughed,pressing the ice packet to jonathons face.

"told you." he smiled,pointing at a busted up jason.

━━━━━━༻❁༺━━━━━━

[trainingdummyrabbit]

Tell us about The Guys what's their dynamic like

ok thats kind of on me for starting with the hardest character dynamic first

so. cocoa and luci. they're both characters that, narratively, are barely expected to be characters at all. let me explain. im entering unskippable cutscene mode. sorry <333

luci takes the role of the silly lil ai assistant... kinda. shes not supposed to be. shes Supposed to be just a basic guide/support mechanic, but she sure. Isn't. it was an accident. dont worry about it. nobody else did.

cocoa is cocoa. she wasn't always cocoa, but now she's all there is. easypeasy ^w^ she's like if an npc was a person, mostly. she just kinda stands or wanders around until shes needed, rarely speaks beyond basic preset responses, she just goes here :] shes just a silly lil thang, kinda confused but got the spirit, etc. And Also She Happens To Be The Highest Ranked Agent Here. dont worry about it. nobody else did.

they also happen to be, most likely, the two characters to change the most across the entire throughline. with like one exception, maybe. which is what makes this hard. im not going to waffle about too long, dont worry. probably. ill try.

so for a while it seems like...

...aka they dont seem to notice each other much at all. and it stays that way for pretty much the entire throughline! bbbecause everyones too busy running about to worry about The PA Voice and Their Shockingly Chill Coworker. unfortunately, The Problems.

see, they're both burying the lead. Hard.

because luci is The problem. Capital. as something that Super isnt supposed to be conscious (let alone alive,) she has a Lot of shit to figure out. and a Lot of issues. it takes a while for her to figure out her bearings (no thanks to everyone else, who was too busy squabbling about a "data compromise" and ""trying to find a new manager"". eyeroll.) but more or less, she's decided:

1) humans are fucking annoying. they worry about so much mess, care about all the wrong stuff, and insist on shoving it on other people. unfortunately, they're also deeply entertaining. theres 100% a superiority complex going on there. 2) she has Got to become something else. she wants something. deeply and desperately. its just... well, she's still figuring out what that is.

luci, as a character, is obsessed with Character and Relevancy. the deepest throes of passion and hatred, desire and purpose. to know for certain what your place is. (this doesnt say anything about her.) those that burn brightly like that never seem to die. not truly. (this says absolutely nothing about her.) to become a single, unshakable, irreplaceable star. (this means absolutely nothing about anything to her.)

and one of those things that grabbed her attention the most was that of abnormalities. irreplaceable, undying, bastions of Meaning. That was what it was. unfortunately, as Emotion isnt one of the things that she's inherently built with, it becomes a bit of an issue.

thus begs the question: how do you bring out that spark in something? and well, that's not a question she has the information to answer. however, if theres one thing shes good at, its Fucking Around And Finding Out ! and well, if there's some collateral damage or casualties about it, well. oops. not like they ever cared about death and the like here before. soooo whatever ^w^

and well, she has to practice her ominous dialogue with Someone who won't rat her out, soooo...

cocoa, on the other hand, is... well, she's different, for sure. that wasnt always her name, for one. or i guess, it always was. if i tried to explain her entire deal id be here another 10 paragraphs or so, but to make a long story short... living under the specific pressure that the city pushes onto its residents is taken better for some than others. cocoa is not one of these. the constant pressure of needing to provide and prove your worth to forces beyond your control put a ridiculous amount of strain on her, and even still, it could decide to snuff you out without a moments notice on a whim. and well, there's little you can do when you're someone like her.

its something she tried to bottle up for a long, long time. unfortunately, making it into Lcorp did not, in fact, help with this At All. and all of that dread and paranoia, the misguided self loathing, and the sheer inescapability of it all... well, of course she snapped. it wasn't anything loud, bombastic. just quiet. quietly, whoever it was that she used to be had vanished in an instant, snuffed by her own hand, before anything else could get the chance to do it first. and what remained was cocoa! a name to an absence. more Function than Person, she simply... became what was needed of her. and nothing more. and unfortunately, with how everything else was... this change slipped completely under the radar. for all except for one witness.

it doesnt mean anything to her. (it cant mean anything to her. not yet.)

all of that happens before the story even begins.

unfortunately, a superiority complex + the inability to process your own flaws + being allowed to be in control completely unchecked for an extended period of time allows luci to. spiral. to put it bluntly.

it becomes a horrible little race to figure out what exactly is going on before too many people end up dying in horrible ways. luci simply watches them run in circles like little mice. by the time they manage to scramble together enough to confront her, its a tiny group of maybe 4 against luci... and also cocoa. who, in trying to avoid thinking too hard about the meddling that luci was doing and the holes poked in her persona by the rest of the cast over time, has once again completely shut off in favor of simply doing whatever was asked of her. and well, luci was technically the one who had the authority to be dealing out directions, so... well. not gonna think about it too hard. shes had to suppress other agents before, so...

this, ultimately, becomes where cocoa's arc comes to a head. as stable as she seemed, turns out she was constantly teetering on a very dangerous edge. that edge between allowing outside influence, the bravery and will to push, to face uncertainty and risk... and erasing yourself entirely, forgoing the harms of failure and performance in favor of becoming something more akin to a tool, unable to perceive, but also unable to be hurt.

luci believes she knows cocoa. she's seen the depths of her-- she thinks-- has seen the dissatisfaction, the fear, the rage, the desire to reach and tear what she wants from anyone she can reach. for just a brief moment, she'd seen all of it, just before cocoa became... cocoa. and she sees herself in that. sympathy was not something that was afforded to her. it was not in her capability to feel that attachment. (it doesnt mean anything to her.) they were the same, werent they? held back by things out of their control. (it means absolutely nothing to her.) so it would be a kindness-- no, an act of pity, to grant this one the ability to truly Feel that, to Understand the self in its entirety. grant her that freedom. (it means absolutely nothing about anything to her.)

but to cocoa... this was just another will overriding her own. the reason something snapped-- she wanted to do good. to be good. but this world does not allow it. shes angry, yes. more than anything. but shes angry because of her own perceived uselessness. more than anything, she's exhausted. that buildup of anger and resentment-- it was something she desperately didn't want to inflict on others. so instead, she turned those teeth inward, and tore herself out for the crime of feeling. she doesnt want to act. she doesnt want to run. she doesnt want to be anything. she just wants to rest.

luci, insistent on her correctness but inherently oblivious, convinced she is giving a gift to someone she has done nothing but harm. and cocoa, afraid to let down the veneer of distance, to allow herself to want and hope-- afraid to take on the responsibility of being a Person again. but these two werent the only players in the game.

and well. cocoa makes her decision.

[szayelapowo]

i hate not knowing why im the way i am. like i know im a dog and a dragon but why? am i actually a therian/otherkin or is it my autism and/or psychosis? my therapist keeps talking about how i fit the criteria for schizophrenia but he doesnt want to officially diagnose me with anything because of the symptom overlap with autism. i did used to have a schizotypal pd diagnosis before they knew i was autistic though?

idk. im just starting to really doubt im therian/kin but it feels so impossible to know. ive had dreams about turning into a dragon since i was a toddler and im fairly sure i wasnt traumatized yet back then. but the dog identity definitely feels like a trauma thing and i have been abused my entire life. and ive literally always acted more animalish than human but that could be the autism?? i mean and i dont actually know for sure that something traumatic didnt happen when i was that young. maybe i just dont remember? fuck i hate this i hate not knowing. ive been tying to figure this shit out for over a decade but my brain is too messed up and i cant ever make sense of anything im thinking or feeling

only thing i do know is for whatever reason im not fucking human so dont refer to me as one. im still a person though. because not human ≠ not a person (i keep seeing people using those two things synonymously but theyre not okay)

anyway i want to get officially tested for schizophrenia (or whatever else) just to know but im too afraid of it being used against me if i do have it. because when i cant live with my parents anymore im gonna be put into a group home since i cant take care of myself or live alone and i have no one else i could live with but if i have any kind of schizospec or pd diagnosis they (the people running the group home) could legally abuse me and force me to take drugs which i do NOT want because i physically cannot metabolize them (mthfr gene mutation), its literally an overdose that could easily kill me

so what do i do. i dont want to call myself therian/kin if im not but i obviously dont want to go around saying im psychotic if im not either. i definitely have delusions but that alone doesnt necessarily mean anything...

sorry this post is all over the place im having trouble sorting my thoughts out (thanks unmedicated adhd). i really hope nothing i said is offensive, its not my intention at all if it is i just dont know how to word things.