#i live to make yall suffer
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today just will not let me rest huh. reasons are in the tags but i get very emotional just be warned
#hush n shush wifi#just a tad sad#actually more like angry as shit#okay let me TELL YALL about my day#first: the annoying#i was going shopping at a grocery warehouse and you know how those parking lots are always super crowded?#well it was. there were no parking spots and there were so many cars and people trying to go everywhere#i scraped my wheels too which is fine but one of my relatives who likes cars acts like it's a sin#so that shook me up enough that i didn't go outside for the rest of the day#and THEN#OHHHH AND FUCKING THEN.#if anyone remembers the absolute ass of a person from last year who i thought was my friend but said horrible things to me out of the blue#WELL THEY CAME BACK#i never got a chance to block them initially because they blocked me first#BUT I GOT FUCKING MESSAGES FROM THEM TONIGHT#AND ALL THEY WERE SAYING WAS ESSENTIALLY THAT THEY MEANT WHAT THEY SAID#they said some bullshit about the execution being wrong and that their ex wrote it for them#which by the way is just scummy on its own#and that they get mad emotionally which is a horrible excuse#and had the AUDACITY TO ASK IF I HAD ANY QUESTIONS#IN WHAT DELUDED SELF CENTERED WORLD DO YOU HAVE TO LIVE IN TO THINK I WOULD EVER WANT TO TALK TO YOU AGAIN#my trust is a VERY VERY FRAGILE THING#AND THIS IS A VERY LARGE CONTRIBUTOR TO IT#this isn't an apology. they regret none of it#this is a way for them to make themself feel better#the scariest part is that this person by now is almost/IS an adult#which is terrifying if that means there are more people like that out there#i try not to wish ill will but i genuinely hope no one ever has to suffer through being their 'friend' ever again#anyways they're blocked on all of my platforms now.#if the person is somehow reading this. hi! never talk to me again. you're a horrible human being with no consideration for other's feelings
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Prior to Usagi's backstory where he mentioned his father's death and his mother and him living on the life insurance payout, I had a different headcanon for his backstory that explained why Meryl Mei insists he's a good kid despite constantly buying drugs from the gang and being an oddball.
Usagi is the oldest of many siblings ranging from those just a few years younger than him to toddlers. The Alohaoes have lived below the poverty line for generations and the family were no strangers to losing their members to gang life, drug addiction, crippling debt, or a combination of the three. Some of those members, like Usagi's parents, try to make an honest living as working class folks, but both end up working long hours to barely get by and government assistance can only go so far.
As the oldest sibling, Usagi ended up being de-facto man of the house, making sure his siblings get to school on time, attend their games and doctor's appointments, tucking them in at the end of the day, staying up when one or five get sick. Usagi's parents do love him, but there's that underlying obligation and guilt Usagi feels if he doesn't step up to help the family in any way, and his parents can only do so much after being out of the house for so long and splitting time between their kids for quality time.
Usagi knows his parents are working multiple dead-end jobs, unable to be promoted or change to better careers due to lack of education and opportunities, and they end up coming home late at night to be taken care of by him before doing it all over again the next day. While balancing his own studies and trying to go through the day of caring for his family and house, Usagi ends up being addicted to hard drugs out of necessity rather than pleasure. Coffee and nicotine patches can only keep you up and alert for so long, and sometimes there are days where sleep is not an option; the longest he's stayed up is 31.5 hours straight followed by crashing for 5 hours and waking up to resume his schedule as if nothing happened. Sometimes, the drugs suppress his appetite, which allows him to go long without eating in case he doesn't get a chance to sit down.
The worst part and another reason for him being addicted to drugs is the fact that he's a natural genius.
Upon realizing how intelligent and inquisitive their son is, his parents are also banking on him to be the first of the Alohaoes to graduate high school and go to college without a criminal record or other issues. If Usagi gets a well-paying degree and job, the Alohaoes can breathe easier in terms of finance and Usagi can become an example for future generations to eventually get the Alohaoes out of the poverty cycle. So, not only is Usagi taking care of his siblings but he ends up overseeing the household such as taxes and bills, talking to authorities to prevent them from escalating situations near his home, filling out forms for welfare and arguing with health insurance companies at a very young age. His family unconciously expect him to be able to do anything because of his intelligence and they're hoping his grades would allow him to receive free scholarships among other things.
Like many who experienced living below the poverty line, the idea of mental health and attempts to ease this load while the system is intentionally working against you is met with "just deal with it" instead. Finding someone to vent to or provide help is difficult and could cause more harm than good if someome takes things out of context. Someone called CPS on them once because Usagi made an offhand remark on how tired he was; Usagi had to stop the case from escalating in fear that his siblings would be separated "because he made a stupid mistake" and feels guilty for what he did despite being honest at the time.
The drugs Usagi takes doesn't only keep him up but also hide who he really is. While he appears jovial, irresponsible, and amicable on drugs, he's the complete opposite when sober. I imagine him to be like Fugo: cynical, bitter, easy to anger but unable to express it. The bodysuit he wears is intentionally fitted not only to minimize issues caused by skin irritation and bug bites (seeing how he has that in his backpack) but it also doubles as a calming compression suit to ease his bottled emotions. It could be hiding other things but who knows. He's good at hiding things... too good.
Usagi doesn't want to lash out on his loved ones nor show what he's going through. He keeps himself high to maintain his fake persona and remain likeable, but it would only be so long before he breaks and shows who he really is.
Anyways, what do y'all think?
#the jojolands#jjba#jojo part 9#jojos bizarre adventure#jjba part 9#jojolands#jjba jojolands#jojolands headcanons#jojo headcanons#usagi alohaoe#i love making my favorite characters suffer#first we got paco's backstory and now here's my take on usagi's#poor baby needs a hug#this is kind of inspired by my mom bc she is the oldest sibling of many and ended up being defacto parent bc of the living situation#long story short granddad was in prison and grandma had to work to earn money and ofc its hard when youre a woman with many kids back then#but anyways this is my take on usagi's backstory#i'm just imagining how usagi finally reveals his true self and how the gang would react#older sibling syndrome yall
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Man I don’t wanna go back to school… or2
#the most juvenile thing I can say as a 24 year old bruh being in college for this long is EMBARRASSING 😭#it’s okay. this is my last semester I can do it.#but I will be complaining the whole time a bitch cannot suffer in silence#it’s once a month art post for us again yall#I’m in middle school actually#saying I have to go back to school makes me feel like I’m fucking 12 lmao#or2#oughhhh…#pray for me#grad class this year o(-(#saw some grad class kids last semester and they practically just live in the print rooms#that’s gonna be me
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me when the hiatus gets extended and I have to wait another 2 weeks to see my lovelies again
my poor ryan
give me my stinky
is okay! I can wait <3 I had to endure the year long hiatus as well, this is nothing 🤗🤗💖💖
anyways
me bc fanfics
I should totally make angst of the sbg gang--
OH YEAH THE POLL-
AHAHAHHAHAH
I WILL SEE WHO GOT PICKED, AND MAKE ANGST ON THEM
(That character gets no mercy)
#school bus graveyard#webtoon#origami cranes#ryan sbg#silly#i will make yall suffer#trust#promise#love you guys#love#live#lugh#ahsuf#sap#oak#tree#yum#cinder block#phantom#haha#:D
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Oh boy, Ms Winchester is burning on the ceiling
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I don't understand why there's such a pressure on representing your gender identity outwardly when it's literally so fucking dangerous. If you're brave enough good for you. If you have enough mental strength, good for you. But y'all need to stop taking that and using it as an example of how trans ppl should present themselves and then making them feel less than and invalid when they don't do it your way. It takes a lot of strength and a lot of bravery and a lot of mental strength, to be able to do that. Like an astronomical amount. Expecting everyone to have that ability is weird. And I know, logically, people don't expect that. When you actually sit down and have a nuanced conversation, everyone understands this.. but the way trans ppl who don't pass or don't outwardly represent a binary gender on their bodies, get invalidated and treated like they're not good enough bc they're not as brave as you,is ridiculous. It needs to stop.
#people are superficial and self absorbed#yes trans ppl too#and when a trans person like that transitions or outwardly expresses themselves and even moreso when they “pass”#they DO (not always) make it a point to invalidate you or leave you out of the conversation#if youre not able to express yourself as well as they are#ppl put others down in order to make themselves feel valid#thats gotta stop#ive been irl friends with 4 trans guys#all who outwardly transitioned and are expressive and open about it#all 4 of those trans guys have excluded me from my identity#misgendered me relentlessly#i keep having to reiterate that im a man bc ppl see long hair and and “fem” clothing#and imply that im not a man bc of it#yall are obsessed with cis normativity#youre obsessed with the gender binary#youre obsessed with pink meaning girl and blue meaning boy#you have not done the work to unlearn that ignorance at all#stop making ppl suffer bc youre insecure and ignorant#anyways its easier for me to look the way ive always looked and to be hidden. im used to living that life. i can cope with this saddness and#distress ive had since i was 4.im used to it... i cannot cope with more pain and distress added on by making myself an open target for hate#trans ppl arent martyrs and we should stop forcing ppl who arent comfortable and dont feel safe from the public and themselves#to be martyrs
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not me giving anxiety tartar and orca this really cute long lost sibling dynamic in a fic because i need to see them both happy for once
#splatoon#commander tartar#o.r.c.a.#yall dont understand i need this-#just let them be at peace for once in their eternal lives please#also me planning to make them suffer in like 1 or 2 chapters tops-
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Hunger games was a great book to have read when I was a pre teen but it is also such a fucking annoying book to have to see meta-analysis abt on tumblr and tiktok a decade later
#like do ever see a tumblr/tiktok meta analysis abt the book series the hunger games and just know that the white person#who made it would call the cops on black ppl for standing outside their apartment complex for too long? 🤔#its not even a bad book series like its legitimately good#but its also the book series that convinced a lot of yt pre teen and teenage girls that they were revolutionaries#for wearing their hair in a braid#at the end of the day its another book series by a white author where the dystopia is just the lived reality of black and indigenous ppls#and that fact continues to go over yalls heads and it continues to annoy me to no end#also i just know that the ppl making these meta analysis abt how corrupt systems allow privileged ppl in the Capital to enjoy the suffering#of children in the hunger games#are the same ones arguing that its okay to donate ao3 or tumblr checks bcuz mutual aid posts r too guilt trippy :///#my post#vent post
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I love finding new hyper mobility things ab myself lmao like I can bend my thumb to touch the knuckle on my index finger. Thats not NORMAL sgsgdggdgdgdg
I can put my foot behind my head, touch my thumb to my wrist, bend my neck to touch my spine, and can move my shoulder joint down further than it should :)
Probably should have brought this up to my pain management dr today but sgdgdggd what would he do ab it besides say "don't do that." ?
#marquilla#also overheard him say to another patient (bc the walla are so fucking thin it feels like a hipaa violation) that he doesnt prescribe#narcotics unless you're end of life stage diagnosis bc then it doesn't matter how it affects the body and it wont like ruin your life if you#get addicted bc you're dying. basically saying those meds are for making you as comfortable as possible before you die and#while you're living you must suffer i mean use other options sgdgdgdgdg#and i get his point though bc of the opioid epidemic HOWEVER i do believe some people do need them while they're living life#TO be able to live life#im not there yet but would it kill yall to give me some low risk painkillers for flares 😩#i had a drs practitioner give me two GREAT meds once but they sent me into an allergic reaction and now those have to be reportef#on every allergy chart bc they could kill me (: anyway i went back and was like they worked great til i had a reaction could we try#something else? she got really apologetic for the reaction (understandable but also not your fault man! you're good!) and said no talk#to your reg dr when she gets back. she said no :))))#idk where im going with this sggdgdgdgd i think bc im in a flare rn im just like ughhhhh#bc i took 600mg advil and 500mg tylenol at 2pm and im still in pain 😩 and its too wide spread for salonpas 😩😩😩😩#i hate the opioid epidemic for several reasons but one is bc now you cant even ASK for pills without getting the side eye and told to just#do yoga about it or take aleeve 🙄 bitch ive tried!!#sgdggd the nurse was like how long have you had this pain? 13 or 14 years. she was like oh jeez 😬 agdgdgdg like tell me about it man
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if anyone ever and i mean EVER. says "delulu" in my presence again. i will actually get violent
#I'm seeing the impact of ppl watering down psychological/medical terms and im so angry abt it#'didn't know i had to be delusion to say delulu. yall gatekeep the weirdest things'#'that's not delulu that's psychosis'#get the fuck off social media and learn how to ve respectful of other human beings for once in ur miserable little lives#stop making shit into trendy jokes just to shit on ppl who suffer from what ur making fun of#i hate society all the time and rn i REALLY hate humanity#cassi rambles
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yeah but i really got fucked over by the people i told this abt loll
#some of yall might remember my vent posts and stuff and yeah this situation didnt end well for me#i could talk abt this for hours honestly this is so messed up#yknow ive been thinking how i never really tell my friends what i go through at home anymore bc i began to doubt myself#even tho i KNOW it all happened. They did abuse me. Still do. But some part of me thinks#that i just made this up or that it wasnt actually that bad. even though it was. it was so much fucking worse. and having to go through it#again and again and again. i have no words. sometimes my mind just goes blank bc i dont want to think abt this stuff. i just want it to be#over.#some part of me thinks that if i tell somebody im ruining my abusers lives. even though theyre the one ruining mine. nothing can harm them.#especially my words. they will never face consequences bc the system doesnt work. and i dont want to ruin their life.#i just want it to be over.#i just want to go on and live my life and leave this all behind and start anew.#im an awful person. i have younger siblings and this was the only reason i decided to go through with telling someone at school abt this. bc#i didnt want them to suffer like me. i knew what their mindless actions did to me. and to see my siblings go through that.#but my sister absolutely hates me for telling the school#she says shes ashamed to go there bc people know#she thinks i made it up for attention even though she literallywas there when they beat me. she was fucking there lmfao#im sorry if this is too much but i need to get this somewhere out. writing it down is not enough and i cant tell this at anyone#kill me💗 the only thing keeping me alive is dreaming. very corny i know. but fantasizing abt my far away future is the only thing making me#go on. thinking abt my life after this ends. but sometimes its not enough and i just spend all my time watching stuff or reading or whatever#just watching stuff abt lives totally different from my own. that helps me focus on something else for a while. sighhhhhh
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God guys yknow. I just never ever noticed that my dogs coat makes them hot in the summer !!!
#totally just. a new thing for me#surely its not that i just didnt know what to do about it short of brining them inside as quickly as possible or spraying them w a hose#no !!! its because im just really really dumb and dont realize i live in a PRAIRIE. and just like. have 0 capacity to put my feet in the#shoes of others to see that theyre hot.#nevermind that a lot of my ancestry is literally northern european. nevermind that i also get hot as hell when im outside too long#NEVERMIND THAT I KEEP MY APARTMENT IN THE 67-70 RANGE#naw im just really really stupid and never ever noticed how much my dog pants and drinks water after coming inside.#i just like. toootally never connected those dots 🤪#anyways this is what im talking about when i say yall are disingenuous as all entire fuck.#not the two ppl whomst i already follow who avtually gave me solutions. but the rest of yall in the tags who seem to think im just trying#to come up with excuses to make my dog suffer. literally what in the entire fuck is wrong with some of yall.#genuinely dig yourself into a deep hole and never come out#and yes ! if you're reading this and grumbling about how im not doing enough ! yes i do infact CONSTANTLY try to remove her winter coat!#she hated when i do it! but i do it anyways! BECAUSE IM SMART ENOUGH TO RECOGNIZE THAT ALL THE LAYERS MAKE HER HOT#please ! fuck off and eat shit !
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let’s go into detail about what’s going on with thomas sanders and brei grace, because i refuse to let him and the community sweep this under the rug:
thomas severely underpaid brei grace for her work on roleslaying with roman
thomas then laid brei off after creating a work environment that was bad enough to make her not want to return
thomas made a post “announcing” that rswr would be on “an indefinite hiatus”. but it was only available on his patreon (im not a patron so i can’t link the post or show a screenshot, but if i find a screenshot i will edit it into this post)
to amend the above point: i had seen many people saying there was a patreon post that touched on the subject of brei being laid off and rswr taking a hiatus, but in actuality, according to a patron, thomas mentioned the matter in a patreon livestream, not a full blown post. i apologize for the misinformation
just days later, thomas makes a tweet about his merch sale, and most (if not ALL) his current merch was designed by brei, who will not see a penny in royalties, and this is apparently a regular thing with thomas
finally, an entire week after the patreon “announcement” and brei being laid off, thomas says this on the youtube community page (among other things, but this is what im focusing on):
and brei has to clarify that she was laid off
i want to point out the phrase “brei is currently not part of our team” and how thomas fails to acknowledge that HE is responsible for that. HE laid her off. and like a cowardly snake, he’s hiding behind vague corporate speak because he doesn’t want to admit the truth
unfortunately for him, the truth is out there
i know i sound really serious and dramatic and yall are probably not even taking me seriously and you have your pitchforks at the ready, but guess what? i couldn’t care less. i mean this IS serious, which is why im taking it seriously. but at the end of the day im just informing the community of what i know. what you do with that information is up to you
im not “cancelling” thomas, or trying to start a witch hunt, im just so sick of everyone pretending thomas is a perfect harmless little angel who can do no wrong. cos guess what? he HAS done wrong. he’s done wrong by brei. but everyone is so busy sucking up to him that they don’t seem to care that brei is suffering because of him
and this isn’t the first time he’s done wrong by an artist, either (let’s never forget the mad libs incident)
to summarize: thomas doesn’t make it a habit of properly compensating the artists he hires, he makes their experiences a living hell, and then he lies through his teeth about it
like i said, do with this information what you will, but i don’t know how thomas sleeps at night
(oh, and if you plan on harassing me over this post, im literally just gonna block you lmao don’t waste your energy)
hope everyone has a nice weekend (except for thomas tbh)
#im main tagging this because it NEEDS to be seen#thomas sanders#sanders sides#roleslaying with roman#ts crit#ts critical#ts criticism
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errrr……. hey…
uhhh this is awkward hey what do we do when we’re grieving? write ab arranged marriages slayyyyyy errrr yeah here’s that see yall next month or year or whatever
—
“I want a divorce.”
Your tone doesn’t waver nor break, voice engulfed in plainness.
It was one of the issues Ellie’s had since your marriage: an act to combine assets initiated by your parents. They never intended to have a daughter — you told Ellie the night of your honeymoon — but when your mother laid eyes on you, warming you with the skin of her chest for the first time, she painted your entire future in her mind. An object. The finest to be drenched and drowned in riches and diamonds, only living under multi-million dollar homes owned by your husband’s family name. Just as long as you played your role. A silent, unopinionated, docile baby-making machine.
Your parents nearly had a heart attack when they found one of your diaries filled with pictures of naked women, either hand drawn or torn from pages of your father’s filthy magazines. Your mother told you she should’ve aborted you, just when you thought you’d finally have a normal birthday party. The heavy breaths of your sobs extinguished the flame above your 18th candle.
But you’re 22 now; fabulously wealthy, married and…
Staring at your wife… plainly, even though the flames in your eyes rages war. The dining table is a battleground and a red dot punctures right through Ellie’s forehead. She’s not sure what you are.
Your marriage was not ideal. Not only was it forced and filled with shame, but Ellie grew resentful rather quickly. Towards the man that brought her into such a shrouded lifestyle, towards the heavens above for cursing her with life, but when she couldn’t attack, she brought it to your bedroom. You suffered, she’ll admit. It only took two weeks into your marriage for her to find an escape through other unassuming women while you laid in your shared bed with a tear-soaked pillow. You never knew when she’d come home, but when she did, she never failed to berate you. It carried on for months, the blame; blaming you for everything that’s happened to her thus far, despite her knowing that you’re a victim just as much as she is. You were her only emotional outlet. Or punching bag.
But despite every torment she threw your way, you never failed to smile at her the next morning with her coffee in your hands.
You always remained silent. Until now.
The delicious meal you prepared has soured on her tongue. All she can do is stare at you in disbelief.
She takes in the polite fold of your hands, 16 carat, rose gold, wedding band still on your ring finger. Her eyes rush over the plumpness of your lips, the delicate curve of your nose, the rise and fall of your chest… the way your breasts expand in your flowery dress with each breath.
Ellie swallows, nearly choking at the sudden dryness in her throat.
“… What?”
“I want a divorce.”
Your tone raises. Not aggressively; that wouldn’t fit you. You wanted her to hear you.
She huffs despite the burning tips of her ears. “I’m sure.” She mocks with a smirk.
Your eyes squint. “I’m not joking.”
“You know who else wasn’t?” She leans across the table, pinning you with her gaze, “Our parents. They don’t give a fuck about what we do and don’t want. We’re lucky they put us together.”
“I…”
Ellie flinches when your voice cracks to a whisper. Never once has the shell you mask yourself in cracked. Not once. Not in front of Ellie, your parents, her family, even strangers. You’ve never failed to put on a dazzling smile for the spectators.
“I want to be in love.” Tears free fall from your eyes and your chin trembles, “There’s no… I don’t have anyone. I never did.”
“I thought we could… at least be friends. I know you didn’t want this, I know — b-but… I can’t keep doing this. I feel like I’m dying—“
Ellie knows you’re talking about her, and guilt swallows her whole. It’s a shame, really; you’re gorgeous when you cry. Why’s her heart pounding this madly?
“I want someone to treat me like I-I’m alive, no one sees me, I d — don’t feel real —“
Ellie stands when your often assembled appearance begins to crumble. She’s never seen you so shattered, gasping for air like it’s limited. She recognizes this. You’re breaking, just like she did the night before she signed her life over to your family.
“Hey—“
Your seat goes flying back when your heeled feet plant on the marble floor, manicured nails clutching at the skin of your chest raw. She rushes over when your sobs crack, desperately trying to get air in your lungs with pleading and fearful eyes.
“Hey, hey, look at me, c’mon—“
Your fists pound against her chest in between wails, makeup streaking down your face, clumping your fluttery lashes. She calls out to you with hands on your soaked cheeks, tells you to count, to spell your name for her, but you can’t hear. You can’t function. Have you ever been this close?
Ellie curses before her hand flies into the jug filled with sphered ice cubes, shoving them into the side of your neck. They melt instantly from the heat of your skin, but you gasp and flinch from the cold.
“Yeah, feel that? Feels nice? Focus on that.”
Her hand delves into the jug until your jerky breaths calm into spluttered exhales. She’s sure she’s frost bitten.
You’re quiet again. Docile again. Anxious. Embarrassed. Heartbroken. And so fucking angry. Ellie’s getting whiplash looking into your eyes. They’re speckled with gold and… something foreign. She can’t place it. The hand on your cheek swiftly falls to her side.
“You—“ she clears her throat when you wobble, vibrating form pushing up against her, nose almost brushing hers, “You alright?”
But you say nothing, eyes distant. You simply step out of your heels with tightly clenched fists and jostled hair before walking towards the staircase.
“I’m very tired.” You say plainly over your shoulder before trekking up the steps. She watches cautiously until a door slams shut. She, after minutes of gawking at the staircase, takes in the scenery around her. Everything is where it should be… minus your plate is cold and untouched. But your wine glass is empty. She's not sure where the bottle is. Since when do you drink?
Her mind is unsettled and there’s a stutter in her chest. Your home is silent. A heaviness that weighs her down.
She assumed that the uncomfortable twist in her gut was from her own wrongdoings since your marriage.
Not at all.
Ellie’s concerned. There’s something off about you.
More off than usual.
#ellie williams concept#ellie williams au#ellie williams angst#ellie williams x female reader#ellie williams blurb#ellie williams x reader#ellie williams#ellie x fem reader#lesbian#arrangedmarriage!au
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It’s okay to need help
Wanda Maximoff x Reader
Summary: Snapping at your wife was the last thing you wanted to do, but between the pressures of financial disputes you do. You both seek to make things right.
Warnings: arguments, slight angst, hurt/comfort, this was supposed to be way more angsty but I’m weak. Wife Wanda fluff
Word count: 1.1k
A/n: Honestly just a short little drabble and writing practice, I might do more writing prompts. This little thing took a toll on me and I’m suffering through writers block 😞 reblogs are SUPER appreciated please yall 🙏
Your eyes burned and you weren’t sure if it was from the dim kitchen lighting or the tears prickling inside you.
Papers were messily scattered across the table, their contents a jumbled blur that you couldn’t bring yourself to focus on. Not while your mind was elsewhere—with Wanda.
Wanda who wasn’t sitting with you like she always was when going over expenses, stroking your shoulders to relieve some of the tension, laying her head to rest on you while her lips pressed delicately against your cheek. You missed your wife, by gods you did. But you were stubborn.
Instead of apologizing, you’d gaze over longingly hoping she’d somehow see you—read your mind and spare you just one look, but her attention remained focused on the television, curled into the couch; playing her comfort show.
It drove you crazy how desperately you wanted her to see you, but you knew that wasn’t fair of you to ask.
Arguments with Wanda felt like the ground crumbling beneath your feet, threatening to swallow you whole at any moment. The sight of her tear-stained cheeks tore at your soul, and you hated the way it was your fault. Hurting her was a vow you promised never to make, but relationships wouldn’t be without their faults, no matter how hard one tried.
In those initial months of calling Wanda your wife, every moment felt like peaceful bliss, a love so pure you thought how could loving her possibly be a sin in God’s eyes? Then the bliss turned to ignorance, somewhere along the lines.
Fights became frequent, and crying did too.
And hell, you figured maybe after marriage there wouldn’t be so many. For years, you shared a room in the compound, and you knew each other's routines by heart, you knew Wanda. But in the compound, there weren't any expenses, not like now, now that you were sitting at the kitchen island with an abundance of bills that only seemed to keep stacking up. And up. And up.
Waves of stress fell on your shoulders as you stared, wondering how you got into this financial state. Never had you once felt as useless as you had now and it was only digging into you further, on the verge of crushing the sanctuary you had built with Wanda; that was threatening to crumble, and you knew you couldn’t do this anymore. Not when your heart ached so badly for your wife.
Setting aside your previous frustrations, you pushed your chair out and let the papers fall from your hands, figuring you’d deal with them later. You sucked in a breath, trying to regain some composure but with Wanda? Collecting yourself was pretty impossible.
Crossing the living room you cautiously approached your wife, slowly sitting beside her but still she didn’t turn to acknowledge you. She lay with her back facing you, tucked into a small crimson blanket.
You smiled fondly, recalling how you had gotten the blanket because it reminded you of her, one that she promptly stole, with the excuse of it smelling like you bringing her solace when you weren’t around. The sight of her like this shattered your heart.
With a sigh, you inched closer until you were pressed against her back. When she didn’t tense, you wrapped your arm around her waist, pulling her close. Wanda sighed as you peppered kisses against her skin, first on her cheek and then her neck. The act wasn’t sexual of any kind, but loving lingering ones you knew she loved, needed, and craved after every argument.
Knowing that she preferred your touch, you gave yourself to her, smiling when her fingers interlaced with yours. She still needed you just as much as you needed her.
A beat of silence passed as you relaxed further into each other, and your eyes momentarily strayed away from the TV to shift into a seated position. You knew you had to say something before things got harder.
Before Wanda could question you spoke up:
“I’m sorry Wanda, I never meant for things to get so…heated.” You murmured sincerely, running your fingers through the loose strands of her hair and Wanda sighed.
Leaning against your side, Wanda mimicked your position, bringing her knees to her chest.
She gave you a halfhearted smile. “I’m sorry too, I should’ve come to you first before calling Tony for money this month. I messed up.”
You denied it with your head, bringing her into a warm embrace, and kissing the crown of her head. “No no, you did nothing wrong. Your intentions were good and I shouldn’t have shouted that way. I just…it’s difficult for me, you know?” Your explanation came slowly, averting her gaze, and Wanda gripped your shirt tighter. “I don’t like asking for help.”
The confession fell flat on your lips, leaving a bitter aftertaste in your mouth and you felt silly. But instead of ridicule, you were met with the soft touch of Wanda’s hands, cupping your cheeks as if to reassure your embarrassment. Her thumbs felt good on your skin and slowly coaxed you to look at her.
You opened your mouth to speak but before you got the chance Wanda was bringing your lips together in a slow tender kiss and you sighed. No matter how long you lived you were certain of one thing: you’d never tire of the feeling of Wanda’s lips on yours.
When the need for air became overwhelming, you reluctantly broke the kiss, shivering at her touch. Her forehead resting on yours, breath fanning your lips.
“It’s okay to need help, detka, and we need help.” She affirmed, gently squeezing your hands while stealing kisses between each word till your frown disappeared.
You rolled your eyes affectionately at her actions, not being able to frown anymore and finally pulling her into a longer kiss, something you both craved.
“I’ll talk to Tony tomorrow.” You tell her, and her lips purse in hesitation.
“Dorogaya…if you’re not ready—“
“I’m ready Wanda, I don’t want to be worrying about how much we spend anymore. I want to focus on more important things, like us. I mean you still want kids right?” You asked tentatively and Wanda stifled a laugh at how stiffened you were.
“Yes Y/n, I still want kids with you.” Wanda chuckled softly, shaking her head. “But I’m serious, and kids are far from where we are now. Are you absolutely sure?”
“I’m sure.” You nodded.
Still, Wanda pulled away from you, studying your expression. When she found nothing, she softened, giving you a supportive nod and a big grin. Your smile widened, and you advanced on her the next second earning a squeal, peppering her face with kisses and laughing along with her.
All you could think of was how grateful you were to have a wife like her.
Change was hard but with Wanda, the weight felt easier to carry, and with time you’d learn you wouldn’t have to bear that alone anymore. There were still things you had to fix and you wouldn’t rest until you made things right with your wife but for now, you had a phone call to make. Within weeks you’d be changing jobs and attitudes. Things wouldn’t always be an easy route but you’d sure as hell try harder. For her.
#wanda maximoff angst#wanda maximoff x reader#wanda x you#wanda maximoff fluff#wanda x reader#wanda x y/n#wanda my beloved#marvel#wlw post#wanda imagine
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silly little Gunntech Au oc
(ft me about to ramble, be ready yall-)
Soo, I've become obsessed with @elmushterri Gunntech Au (context: Gunntech AU is a AU where the show PJ masks is a show for more mature audiences for teens, think owl house!) They also made a video about this, just look up 'What if PJ Masks' and most likely they're video will pop up first!
(Note I'm using they them pronouns for Elmuehterri cause idk their pronouns and I wanna be respectful-)
And I remember from Elmushterri's video, they mentioned Octobella, and how she could be a failed experiment. Now, I belive Gunntech aren't quitters, so I think they'd try again to recreate what Octobella was supposed to be, and actually succeeded. Thus, introducing my oc....
Kailani 'Kai' Whitlock
Now, I made Kailani here like any other of the PJ masks charater's.
Kailani's dad (who I have not named yet) worked for Gunntech. so when Octobella failed, Kailani's dad offered her as a test subject. And since Kailani wanted to get proper attention from her father she didn't mind. Hence the truama that impacted her
Considering Kailani is a octopus, I had to do a lot of studying. I mean, she has to have some Octopus traits. So I do have some, I shall state it in a list
The first thing I did was give Kailani some height, I tried to atleast. Considering how long octopus's tentacles are, I imagine in replacement, it really long arms and legs, hence her height
2. I Made Kailani colorblind! Octopuses are color blind to, but make up for it with their color changing bodies, odd pupils, color sensing arms, so I'm Applying that to Kailani. Kailani did see color before she was taken in as a test subject, then she became colorblind
3. Google states that Octopuses usually live in tropical areas so I made Kailani born in Hawaii! (She moved though when she was born)
4. From studying, I have found out that Octopuses have three hearts. I don't know if that should be applied to Kailani or not. I'm just going with that her heart is just bigger than most others, so Kailani can be a little more athletic than her peers.
5. Due to the experiments, Kailani's blood is blue (yes, Octopuses actually have blue blood) because of this, Kailani never tries to get hurt. She dosent want to make her dad angry
(Here's a concept sketch of younger Kailani during her test subject days)
as for Personality, I made Kailani very shy. Sure, she's extremely smart for her age, not to mention very creative. Mention something Kailani likes and she'll be willing to yap about it hours on end. However, she has extremely strong loyalty, all she wants is to be accepted and actually loved, so if helping Gunntech means she can earn her father's love, she'll put all of her energy for Gunntech
As how she works for Gunntech, I imagine they call on Kailani if they need someone to be held down or need help moving things (considering with Octopuses strength they can lift more than 700 pounds)
but, when not being a person who could fight someone off, I imagine they'd use Kailani as a strategist. Octopuses are actually very smart, and considering the human mind plus Octopus traits, Kailani would be making or hashing out ideas or theories to take down the 'villans' not realizing she's working for the bad guy.
Anyway, here's her concept suit design
Now I shall relax before I have to suffer at school tomorrow
Edit: I forgot to mention this, but I made Kailani have the hugest crush on Greg (she hasn't made a move cause she's too shy)
Now, if you guys have questions or want to know more about Kailani, I'm glad to give you answers!
#pls ask questions#drawing#artists on tumblr#art improvement#my ocs#drawing oc#sketch#drawing on paper#gunntech au#Gunntech au oc#concept art#artwork#nail art#my art#art study#drawings#illust#pencil sketch#sketches#traditional art#doodle#oc rambling#rambles#ramblings#Fun facts!#I'm obsessed#idk how to tag this
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