#i live on in people’s minds through silly videos and thats nice

[manichewitz]

in a moment of weakness i redownloaded tiktok and discovered it was even stupider than it was when i left. i was worried i’d get re-addicted to it but honestly the whole app is so annoying that it completely bypassed my addictive personality and i deleted it in less than an hour

[single-malt-scotch]

i kno theres a lot of comparison for Good Season between s9 and s7 and i love them both bc they really have entirely different vibes. they cant be the same. i dont think its fair to say why one was better than the other but rather recognize what is different about them and think about the numerous things done and why they worked well, potentially thinking about what would be nice to see going forward.

s7 was interesting bc it isnt unlike s9 in having some kind of central location and then hermits spreading out from there, as well of the numerous 'events' that occurred.

i think a central area is key... not just spawning in the same place together, but spawning there and establishing something there. s9's spawn blossoming in that spot with everyone's small starter homes was lovely because it basically made a small neighborhood. it seemed natural to make a little starter base to prepare and live in before going off to build a potentially bigger base imo. my favorite thing about s9 (kind of s8 simply because of proxy voice) is the excitement and chaos of starting and everyone bumping into each other and poking fun etc and i think spawn is a key part of that! its what i look forward to most for the start of a season.

in terms of events, its something the hermits were very good at in s7 and naturally did in s9 again. events are good. they allow collabs between bigger numbers! i cant even count all the events on each season but i realize i feel there is like... a 'roleplay-ish' event and some kinda game event lol. and strangely we had two events that had to do with controlling a district/server etc (s7 mayor and s9 king). which is just coincidence. but, this kinda back and forth of funny 'lets play pretend" to some degree can be amusing to watch and i dont mind it, but its the way that its played out that matters. s7 mayor was pretty simple and didnt effect other people too hard (it was on a much smaller scale tbh), whilst ren's king arc was incredibly involved!! and that is NOT an insult (i think it was done decently in a way where ppl not involved did not have weird video situations of being confused or left out-- they could ignore it easily).

it is just wild to see the progression of work done between these events these ppl created. honestly no matter the ups and downs of the king arc i cannot applaud ren enough for everything he did, it was insane. this is to say-- i wouldnt doubt a pattern potentially coming through-- playing pretend in a way thats a bit more than just a prank war, and obviously making silly games. games are really The staple of the server and the way people get together to have fun. my only wish would be to not have another mayor/king/etc arc lol. i dont think thatll be an issue.

i think what stands out for both season are the things some hermits make that arent mini games or just a little play pretend, but the long going events that get people involved for a longer period-- s7's button, tag, head games, decked out or the base trade. s9's decked out, tcg, mumbo's new button, ren's quests, etc... and i imagine they will all come up with new things again. s9 at least to me felt like it lacked some of that but its probably more because the ones that did come up lasted a long time inbetween giving hermits more time to work on their builds. but they all came in waves that felt fitting. let a thing happen for a while, it slows down, people spend time more specifically working on their base. rinse repeat. i guess in some ways it felt 'organized' but i can see how it maybe didnt work for some people-- some didnt like watching tcg and when it was the main focus, some people didnt watch. same goes with decked out.

and of course, across both seasons, its always a toss up on how "complete" is feels. and my prespective is less of who completes what, but instead how the season potentially affected their ability to work on their stuff. of course there are all kinds of irl things that affect them too so i cant judge this as if i know everything. s9 felt kind of linear? again, in the sense of how larger scale events were spaced out. and i feel like ppl were given good spans of time to work on their stuff. really, it just seemed like irl things is what slowed some people down towards the end, especially when the pauses between things like tcg and decked out were spent dealing with irl, and then returning because of those events. at least from my perspective, s7 felt a bit more chaotic in terms of this pacing due to the randomness of events and the fact they would often take them away from their bases. i dont actually feel like anyone worked less on their bases in s7 than s9, but the big things that happened were not at all paced the same way as they were in s9 (it sometimes made me feel like they werent making much progress at all even though they were lol).

it is interesting taking a look at these two seasons because i think they had a lot of the same stuff, but both went about it differently. i think these two seasons define the hermits very well-- the kinds of stuff they do, the stuff they enjoy, and what they tend to keep doing. assuming s10 doesnt get some kind s8 treatment i can only see this one going forward just as well as the previous. and i hope as well to see some very interesting new ideas from after the insane massive works like tcg and decked out 2.

[teeto-peteto]

My friend, I would love to read you Ramble about Soul fighter Pyke and Gwen.

NO 👹 DONT DO THAT YOU WILL OPEN THE PANDORA BOX Im weak for them, and since Soul Fighter is an universe based on the present, it made my mind run free.

For starters, its stated that Pyke did die in this universe too, and that Gwen 'helped him come back from the spirit realm'. Nice, but what if Gwen 'had to sew him back'? I headcanon Pyke with the scars going all the way around, instead of the flashy ray shape they have on the skin. Imagine that Pyke actually died on a very gruesome way, and was dismembered? And Gwen somewhat found him and sew him back with her threads and power. That way you have the cute and wholesome storyline of the canon on wich Gwen helps Pyke and he bows to himself to protect and make her proud of him, but also a gruesome, horrid background on wich technically, Gwen had to find a dismembered body somewhere by accident and decided to sew it back. Maybe she was just feeling like doing a puzzle ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Its something very Frankstein, and i dont think Pyke remembers who killed him, but still affects him to this day.

They are bestfriends, and they live together. I think thats pretty obvious in the canon given the splashart of LOR where Pyke is holding the shopping bag, it shows that they most probably share residence. Pyke clearly is the one that carries the heavy bags from the supermarket saying 'Im fine' while his arms are in pain, and Gwen carries the paper towels happily, its not like she cant carry the heavy bags but that Pyke is both not trying to bother her but also very prideful.

'My parents didnt want me' 'Omg same!!' kind of traumadumping. I dont care that much about Viego to see the voicelines of his skin but Isolde is clearly siding with him i guess? So i guess Gwen is a random child running around with her little friend.

Since its based on present day im betting all my horses that Gwen is very active on social media. I headcanon Gwen being one of those tiktokers that do makeup, but not the cute/impressive ones but the creepy and hilarious ones that try to resemble a cartoon character with face paint and ducktape... and while shes filming Pyke is sometimes passing through the hallway and then stands by Gwen's room door watching her doing her tiktoks with a very confused face and hes appearing on the background of the video like 🧍 but she can also do impressive makeups, also shes a great dancer she just loves to be weird and hilarious. Pyke does have social media but its undercover, he doesnt use his name and its under an alias because he doesnt like the attention, but likes and shares all of Gwen's makeups and videos. Doesnt publish but spends his spare time watching reels or tiktoks with sea creatures and sharks with goofy sounds or those ones with the little star/swirl thing on the midddle with a lot of sea animals footage. He's pretty much clueless, often goes to Gwen and asks 'Why is people making edits of me with Mary on a cross?' for example. Doesnt interact but probably Gwen would record an embarrassing storytime and he would comment 'It didnt happen that way.'

Gwen films him when hes not looking, she loves that, or takes funny pics of him when he's distracted, eating or asleep. She will definetly pull up an embarrasing pic and post it.

im unaware if this is true, it was the first thing that came on google but imagine Gwen posting a pic of Pyke sleeping on an akward position and he screams 'GWYNETH-' from another room in embarrasment. She also post cute pics of him, and pics together, they have a bunch of polaroids on their rooms doing silly stuffs or just being cute <3

They like baking together... cant explain but its just so real... and they are so good on it... and they decorate it together... when they are done with soul tournament they are going to open a bakery.

On skin design i really like both of them BUT i would love to see more of them being on the same team aside from the colours... like Pyke could have a little kitty bag on his belt or a charm resembling Gwen's cat hat... I recently drew Gwen with a little Pyke plushie attached to her i think it would be cute if she made matching plushies so they can keep each other... wholesome...

Pyke's thing about being designed around belts and zippers... its just funny to imagine him on his room super distressed on the verge of tears and Gwen goes 'Whats wrong?' 'I cant pull my back zipper up'.

Gwen designed his outfit, and the prestige one. Imagine her very concentrated with her pins taking measurements on him and she says 'stay still! you are moving!' 'sorry m'am...' He wears his outfits proudly, and constantly bombards anyone who approaches saying 'My best friend designed and made it! Shes an angel' and shows everyone her socials...

i love them, and i imagine them with a lot of struggles, and a lot of self doubts. In the end Pyke has to learn that he doesnt have to preassure himself to the edge to make someone proud of him, and Gwen has to learn that not everyone will return her kindness back, but she still has to keep going. They have each other and they support each other, and i love them very much.

long post im going to self strangle and nobody is going to sew me back

[eurekq]

>be me >today i will make a height chart for my da protags and their love interests >okay maybe ill make it an outfit and color reference too >well i dont want it to be too boring to look at >draw this

so here we are with all my sweet little ladies and their lis :]!!! from left to right: cassie cousland, marian hawke and anders, aoife lavellan and cullen, rhiannon tabris and alistair, cecelia hawke and fenris, melly cadash and sera

LOTS of extra stuff under the cut!!!

lovely da protag templates are from marian churchland!

dear sweet cassie, partaker in the forbidden non-romantic alistair marriage that the game never knows how to acknowledge. very much the definition of gaslight gatekeep girlboss. and by that i mean a genuinely bad person in the sense that she tends to toy with peoples feelings. had an extremely public affair with anders during the events of awakening. It takes a good 5 years for her and alistairs marriage to be anything even approaching functional. extremely savvy, ambitious, and charismatic; a great politician and an extremely effective ruler. morrigan is her closest friend in the world (yes i know i never had her in my party. thats because im bad at video games and needed a healer.) and they’re like sisters.

my default hawke. 6′2, buff as shit, slept her way through half of her friends before finally settling with anders. she’s a blood mage and her first use of blood magic was during a particularly nasty fight where she got speared through the stomach. she carves herself up for mana; anders puts her back together. does things in anger and impulse and then regrets them (see: giving isabela to the arishok, never reconciling with carver after leandras death). mean if you dont know her, intensely protective if you do, but takes betrayal extremely poorly. constantly taking action, even if it doesn’t turn out very well; she is physically incapable of being a bystander. her and anders are my fave da couple ever... ask me about my post da2 hcs <3 theyre happy and have a daughter named bethany :] she punched cullen in the mouth at the end of da2 so hard that it left that scar.

literally is there anything like your first dai playthrough being an elf. aoife is... remarkably well realized in my brain for a character who’s life began as my friend chanting “goth elf! goth elf! goth elf!” over my shoulder while i was in character creator. very affable and friendly, but extremely politically adept with a capability for subterfuge that even she isn’t fully comfortable with. huge history buff. solas was like a big brother to her and her faith was extremely important to her so trespasser was crushing. very curious, especially about magic; definitely learned some blood magic from hawke after hearing dorian and solas talk about it. dorian is her closest platonic friend, but cullen is her rock. as in he is literally so normal compared to everything else that happens to her and she loves him for it. also her and hawke are friends and a scenario that lives rent free in my mind is them hanging out while anders and cullen attempt to kill each other in increasingly looney toons-esque ways in the background. she turned out remarkably pretty for an inquisitor... look at her

....and that’s it for my canon timeline. onto the secondary timeline!

DEAR SWEET RHIANNON. 4′8 powerhouse with a sword longer than she is tall. i first played rhiannon with a friend who was very new to rpgs and she picked all of the mean dialogue options because she thought they were funny, which led to me discovering that alistair reacts oddly and kind of hilariously well to being made fun of by a female warden pre-duncan dying. rhiannon is fun in that she literally gives no shits about conflict avoidance; if you start something with her, she’ll see it through. disliked alistair on principle and poked fun at him when they first met, but after the events at ostagar bonded to him extremely strongly. very close to him pretty much at the exclusion of all her other companions. extremely strong willed, laughs loud and smiles wide, no real concept of subterfuge except for when she’s hiding her own pain, generally goes in the path of least resistance if it gets to her goal faster. #1 arl eamon hater. she looks pretty different when i draw her compared to how she looked ingame but this screenshot of her doing the like. dead deer tinder profile pic pose is extremely powerful

cecelia is the truest tragic hawke that i’ve played (rip cecelia. you had the misfortune to exist in the warden alistair timeline). lost carver, lost bethany in the deep roads, lost her mother, believes that fenris has left her. act 2; a real rough ride for cecelia. aside from all the tragedy, she’s tough as nails, direct, and extremely blunt. very cautious in combat, even more so since she lost both carver and bethany. plans upon plans upon plans and prefers to strike unseen and unheard from the shadows. DEEPLY in love with fenris, best friends with isabela and merrill. aware of anders affection for her and keeps some distance for both their sakes; after the chantry explosion she helps him fake his own death on the condition that she never sees him again. when terrible things are not constantly happening she has a very dry wit, part of the reason her and fenris get along so well. too many bad things happen to her for someone with such nice thighs and such a stylish cape. her save file had some weird bugs with companion like.... staring???? in weird directions???

the absolute energy here. she also turned out very pretty in inquisition.

melly is easily my most powerful da oc. not in terms of in-universe power (although sword and board reaver is like. unkillable.) but in the sense that she is a catholic (read: andrastian) mid-40′s widowed mobster milf. she’s very close to cassandra and vivienne and consults them for advice before she goes to her actual advisors. even she was surprised by her relationship with sera; she finds sera’s unique sense of humor very charming and really likes pulling silly pranks with her as a reprieve from her everyday life. when she’s not with sera, she tends to be very pragmatic and logical when making decisions for the inquisition and has a very defined sense of purpose. she takes her role as both as the inquisitor and the herald of andraste very seriously. she’s very warm and soothing to be around during off hours and random inquisition members will often drift towards her for life advice. first draft of her and sera in this drawing had sera wearing this

[thebibliomancer]

Essential Avengers: Avengers #248: “To Save the ETERNALS!”

October, 1984

Scarlet Witch: “It’s raining ETERNALS!”

Hallelujah?

This is a pretty striking cover. The white background is what sells it. Having an actual background would busify the cover too much.

So last times on Avengers: Bored after giving the chairman role to Vision, Wasp takes Starfox’s invitation to crash a party hosted by Sersi, a truant Eternal. Some other Eternals come to fetch Sersi for a Big, Important Eternal Thing and Wasp and Starfox end up getting dragged along when they try to stop the kidnapping.

After Sersi and Ikaris recap the Eternals’ ENTIRE HISTORY, Starfox realizes hey he’s an Eternal too! So he gets invited to the big, important Eternal Thing. Which is turning into a giant flying brain. As ya do.

But jerk fiend and eventual Great Lakes Avengers punchline Maelstrom takes advantage of all the Eternals being a giant brain and attacks, knocking out spectating Avengers Wasp and Captain Monica Marvel.

So thats a lot.

Vision and Scarlet Witch arrive in Greece after seeing Maelstrom on the video phone.

While Vision flies off in a big hurry, Scarlet Witch goes back into the Quinjet for some good exposition.

She continues to be worried about how Vision has been acting lately. Because after seeing Maelstrom, Vision barely said a word during the flight to Greece and kept pushing the engines until Wanda was afraid they’d blow up. But since he just took off and she can’t fly, she calls up what files the Avengers have on Maelstrom.

Which is Benn Grimm, the Thing, reporting on Marvel Two-in-One #72, where he teamed up with Black Bolt to fight Maelstrom who claimed to be the son of a renegade Inhuman. In the end, the Thing tossed a tube of anti-terrigen gas in his face and then Maelstrom appeared to die in an underwater cave-in.

Vision returns from his reconnaissance and does Wanda a startle so she finally unloads on him for how he’s been acting.

Scarlet Witch: “You don’t seem to be thinking at all these days! We haven’t had a real conversation since you became Avengers chairman! Half of our trip to Washington was taken up by a private meeting you had with the president! Afterwards, you didn’t even have the decency to tell me what you talked about! I had to hear from a reported that you’d discussed making the Avengers chairmanship a cabinet level post! We used to be so open with one another! What is happening to us? What is the matter? Is it me?”

Vision says ‘its not you, its me’ although in the context of him being at fault and not breaking up with her.

But he promises to do better and that she’s important to him.

Which would be heart-warming and romantic if he wasn’t making this face over her shoulder.

Why.

Anyway, with uh whatever that is handled, Vision reports what he found on his scouting nyoom.

He found the Eternal city on the side of Mount Olympus because of course its there.

Although. Wait. Where do the Olympians live? Are they neighbors? Do the Olympians live in another dimension or something? I vaguely remember something like that.

And Vision found Maelstrom who’s wearing a silly techno-harness connected to a big machine and has Captain Marvel and Wasp chained up at his feet.

You have problems, Maelstrom.

Not least of which is that his big scheme is to absorb the giant brain to make himself more powerful.

He blabs his plan to the Wasp who woke up when she sensed the opportunity to sass.

Wasp: “You seem awfully sure of yourself, Maelstrom.”

Maelstrom: “Ah, the Wasp! Back among the conscious, I see! Yes, I am quite confident... Supremely confident, you might say.”

Wasp: “But not so confident that you felt you could keep us here untied!”

Maelstrom: “If you are trying to shame me, it will not work. I am quite without shame!”

Curses, he’s immune to petty ego games.

Wasp also assumes he’s an Eternal which he’s quick to correct. No, see, his mom was a Deviant. And I guess his dad was an Inhuman, based on the Thing’s report on him. But its not like he wants revenge for all the Deviants being compressed into a giant cube.

After all, the Deviants killed his mom and raised Maelstrom in their slave pits.

In fact, after Maelstrom absorbs the giant brain, his next plan is to release the Deviants from the giant Deviant cube one by one and then do harm to them.

But, yeah, no. He does look like an Eternal. Easy mistake to make. The Eternals have been making that mistake as Maelstrom has just been hanging around for days with all the Eternals assuming he’s just some Eternal.

He’s actually maybe a little bit regretful that he has to kill them all to absorb the giant brain since the Eternals have actually been nice to him?

Maelstrom: “But power belongs to those who are willing to seize it!”

Interesting guy, Maelstrom.

He starts absorbing the Uni-Mind and totally spaces out doing that. But unfortunately, Wasp is in no position to capitalize on it because he put some leech manacles on her which are preventing her from shrinking. And Captain Marvel is completely out cold.

But Vision sneaks up intangible through the ground as he do like to do and intangibles his fingers into Maelstrom’s harness, shorting it out.

The energy discharge knocks Vision on his ass unconscious but Maelstrom just has to take a knee.

He yells up at an ominous figure standing up on a tower for not telling him that Vision was sneakign up on him. Maelstrom obviously thinks that this Deathurge is his minion but Deathurge has differing opinions.

Deathurge: For so long have I been with Maelstrom, yet still he does not understand! Still he thinks of me as his lackey! When will he learn... it is a darker power I truly serve!

Kinda wonder why he’s here. He doesn’t seem to be helping Maelstrom’s great brain heist and mostly just seems to... stand on a tower and look ominous.

But while Maelstrom was distracted yelling at a guy, the Uni-Mind breaks free of Maelstrom’s siphon and then explodes into a bunch of Eternals again.

Because it would be very improbable if that happened.

Your plan scheme just got Wanda’d, Maelstrom.

Huh. When I saw the cover, I wouldn’t have guessed that Wanda is the reason why its raining Eternals, hallelujah.

Goes to shows.

But since it was very improbable indeed that the Uni-Mind would explode into peoples, Wanda is wiped out.

Captain Marvel starts waking up and Wasp orders her to bust the chains, don’t even think about just go go go.

And Monica Marvel CHOOOMs the leech manacles.

It’s probably a testament to her power that she can bust right through the power dampening handcuffs but Maelstrom immediately hits her with some pink with kirby krackle which apparently is an energy field for sapping strength and down goes Captain Marvel again.

>=|

Wasp dodges the pink energy and gets out of the way so Vision can shoot his forehead laser at Maelstrom.

I sometimes forget he has that thing.

Vision: “Yes, Maelstrom, I have found your weakness! you are vulnerable to energy that is not purely kinetic! That is why you required the power siphon to absorb the psionic energy of the Uni-Mind!”

Maelstrom insists that he’ll still kick Vision’s ass except we’ll never know if he was talking out his ass or not.

Starfox wakes up from being a giant brain and decides to go punch the bad guy.

Except except except.

Punches is kinetic energy. Fool that he is, Starfox just recharged Maelstrom.

Starfox: “I am Eros, called the Starfox... son of Mentor! The blood of the Eternals flows in my veins... and I am an Avenger! Thus I have the greatest stake in seeing you fall!”

Maelstrom: “No doubt! But you’ll not accomplish it this way!”

And then suddenly giant Maelstrom just picks up Starfox and hurls him at Vision who is forced to super-dense catch Starfox instead of intangible out of the way and let the idiot hit a wall head first.

Hm. Guy absorbs kinetic energy and gets beefier? So he’s like a less stylish Sebastian Shaw?

That’s not a flattering comparison for you, Maelstrom.

Makarri, Thena, and Ikaris of the Eternals wake up and also try to jump on and pummel Maelstrom.

... God, its like they weren’t even paying attention.

Good thing they’re immortal because they have no survival instinct among them.

Maelstrom throws them off and then whips out the pink bio-kinetic energy again, using it to crowd control the Eternals.

Then he announces that yeah, sure, the brain thing was foiled. But he absorbed enough information while he was draining the Uni-Mind that he has an even cooler plan for even greater power now.

So his new plan is to just leave. And go do something else.

‘Walk away with no further conflict you say? Nuts to that!’ - Scarlet Witch, presumably.

In fairness. This isn’t really a no harm, no foul situation.

I wouldn’t give Maelstrom over to the Eternals to add to the Deviant cube but he’s just going to do more asshole things if he walks away.

Starfox wants to go over and start punching Maelstrom again because. I DUNNO! The man is supposed to be smarter than this!

Vision stops him and tells him that instead he’ll need to use his pleasure power on Vision’s mark.

Starfox is startled that Vision knows about his secret weirdo power but this isn’t the time for a conversation.

Instead its time for microwaves.

Vision signals Captain Marvel to do her thing and she flies at Maelstrom, turning into infrared and microwave radiation, toasting Maelstrom up.

Then Wasp pew pews with her pew pew, while staying ten feet away so he can’t absorb any kinetic energy. That’s apparently why her stings sucked when she tried shooting him before. She got too close.

Well, her stings are bio-electrical so him absorbing her bio-kinetic energy would probably weaken them? Probably?

Maelstrom actually panics a little because the Avengers aren’t being dumb. They’re pelting him with energy attacks from a distance, wearing him down and not giving him a chance to build up his energy stores again.

I’m proud of you, guys. I knew you could fight smart if you put your minds to it.

Then with Maelstrom weakened, Starfox tries to use his PLEASURE BEAMS and tells him that actually we’re all friends here, won’t you be our friend?

Starfox: “The others will tell you I’m not one to hold a grudge! Besides, you really don’t want to hurt anyone! You’ll be much happier giving yourself up!”

Maelstrom: “Giving... up? Y-yes, that does sound nice. I... No!! What are you doing to me?!?”

So since Maelstrom succeeds his will save against the persuasion check, or something, Scarlet Witch just casts a spell of ‘on your knees, asshole’ and makes Maelstrom fall to his knees.

Realizing that he might actually be defeated, in the city of his mother’s enemies no less!, Maelstrom calls out for Deathurge to attend him.

Deathurge: “At last, the call I have longed for!”

Hmmmm. Maybe Maelstrom should have been more specific.

I admit that its very possible that this is exactly what Maelstrom wanted Deathurge hanging around for. But having a guy standing by to kill you so you don’t have to tally an L sure is an interesting way of going about things.

Also, the narration says spear but Deathurge’s weapon is clearly a very anime scythe. A dude in Bleach had two of this exact weapon.

Captain Marvel, as the nyoomiest of the Avengers, flies at Deathurge as the “spear” returns to his hand. He tries to hit her with the “spear” but it goes right through her and then she goes right through him when she tries to tackle him.

Since they can both be intangible, Deathurge declares this a stalemate and drops down into the ground. Captain Marvel tries to follow as x-rays but loses the ominous weirdo.

So that was a thing that happened.

Maelstrom sure folded like nothing once people who knew how his powers work actually started fighting back.

And I can’t even ding him for explaining his powers because he didn’t. Vision just did his research.

Anyway, even though the Uni-Mind ritual was interrupted, the Eternals still learned what they should be doing. Since the Eternals have grown stagnant on Earth, THEY’RE GOING TO SPAAAAACE!

Most of them anyway.

Ikaris, Sersi, Thena, Valkin... Lets just say the main Eternals are going to stay on Earth.

The Eternals chosen to go out into space form a Uni-Mind again, grabs the Deviant cube, hurls it out of the solar system, and then takes off into space.

“So does the Uni-Mind, in all its wisdom, protect its native world from the Deviant menace.”

Eeeesh.

I thought squeezing them all into a cube was bad enough, now you’re sending them into space forever? You couldn’t find a planet where they can’t hurt anyone and just dunk them there?

Back down on Earth, the Avengers and Eternals watch a giant brain fly into space.

Wasp: “To think, this all started with Starfox and me crashing Sersi’s party! I certainly never expected to be in Greece at day’s end, watching the Eternals leave Earth!”

Really makes you think. That its a good thing that most Avengers’ day job is being an Avenger.

Captain Marvel asks Starfox if he’s sorry that he didn’t go with the giant brain and he says participating in one Uni-Mind thing was an incredible experience that he wouldn’t have missed but he’s a free spirit and there’s a bunch of stuff he still wants to do on Earth.

Which Sersi certainly agrees with.

The Avengers offer her a lift back home and she has perhaps the greatest of attitudes about everything that went down.

Sersi: “I hope my friends in the city have kept the party going! If they haven’t... well, we’ll just have to start one of our own!”

That’s the spirit!

But meanwhile, halfway around the world in a secret underground lair, Deathurge pops out of the floor.

Villains are villainous and all but you can’t beat the class of “secret underground lair.” Step up, heroes.

Deathurge struts over to some tubes and goes Everything Has Transpired According to Plan.

Because inside one of the tubes (or maybe all of the tubes??) is a fresh new Maelstrom body!

Deathurge: If all goes as you have planned, you shall soon awaken within this newly prepared body, ready to live again. And, as ever, I will stand by... ready to attend... Until all your lives have been lived!

Well!

No wonder Maelstrom has a dude standing by to pop him. He’s got extra lives!

Anyway, that was the unexpected Eternals three-parter nobody called for. But Avengers is the place to go to tie up loose ends from other books and concepts.

Avengers’ll accommodate you, they have room in their hearts and publishing schedule.

Follow @essential-avengers​ because there’s more Maelstrom coming! Wait, is that anything people want? There’s also Hercules! I know people like Hercules! He gives the best hugs! Also like and reblog if you like to reblog.

[obeymematches]

Hi there, I saw your tumblr and thought it is really cool ! So I wanted to know if I can request a matchup ? 😳👉🏽👈🏽

My name means the laughter in spanish but I’m not very good at making jokes even though I love to laugh and I take pride in putting a smile on people faces. I try to live up to my name haha. People always think I’m intimidating at first because I have been cursed with “resting bitch face”. But really I’m kind at heart and very empathetic. I can cry at movies, I’m always here if someone needs to vent, I feel bad if I see someone or an animal suffering and I hate injustice. When meeting new people I’m a little observant at first because I need to feel with whom I can feel the most comfortable. Im an introvert leo thus I suck at communication, I’m a bit sarcastic and sometimes I roast people unintentionally. I don’t know why I have a hard time saying ’ I love you ’ even with my family. I’m not a physical person either, the only person I let touch me is my partner or my pets. I show my love through actions and support, my love language is quality time. I become a bit silly around my loved ones and I loooove to prank them. I have siblings and I’m the oldest, I have always been the mediator when it comes to resolve fights between them. I never considered myself clever and I lack self esteem because of this, but when I’m doing a job, I need to do it right and I work hard so I can feel the satisfaction of my boss or clients, I’m not scared of responsibilities.

On my own, I have a world to myself, I love fantasy, mystery and horror stuffs, my space needs to be cozy at all times. I’m sensitive to loud noises so I like it when its silent, at best I can tolerate music like classic, lofi, or ost from movies/video games. I love digital painting, and clean/organized stuffs. I love beautiful things, and learning about animals, humans and its psychology. I love taking care of myself, like I’m always searching for the best skin/hair products and I need to look good everytime I go outside haha.

When in relationship I need someone with a lot of patience, I’m slow to open up. And when something troubles me I tend to go silent. I don’t want to ruin the good mood so I keep my struggles to myself. I do not tolerate humiliation, or disrespect, it’s a huge turn off. I’m usually calm and would hate to “go crazy” at them. As an introvert I need my alone time so I need my partner to be understanding about this. When completely in love I tend to put my partner on a pedestal and take pride on showing them off. Also expects lots of gifts and surprises, bc nothing is ever good enough for my partner.

Thank you for reading this far 🥺

———

hiiii! sorry for my late answer! 

okay so i’ve had a few of the brothers on my mind so it was not an easy decision. i think you’d be a very nice match for Satan, Belphie and possibly Lucifer too. But Simeon would also be a decent option! (like you’re into digital painting and he’s the opposite of digital so that’d be a fun learning experience)

OK after reading your request over a couple of times i decided that you and Lucifer would totally work out!

Okay so you making people smile without shame is something that catches the attention of the 3 demons I mentioned (2 of them is good at observing and Belphie hardly ever smiles so once you get him to he’s in)

You say you have a rbf but later you mention that you like to be pretty and Lucifer definitely appreciates that in a partner. I mean someitmes you go to places where you just gotta dress nicely and neat. 

He also appreciates someone with a soft side like you as that balances things out a bit, but also because he has some soft spots as well - you being a new one!

I don’ think he would open up to anyone easily, so quite some time would pass before he actually vents to you but he makes sure to make it up to you! 

Well I think Lucifer is good at communicating so regarding that he would probably help you learn a bit as communication is supper important in a relationship. 

Later you mention that you are responsible just like him and honestly he deeply appreciates that you are not someone to cause much trouble. 

However! We all know how he likes troublemakers like Mammon, so the fact that you prank him and/or his brothers just makes him grow even fonder of you! (i think Belphie would be quick to join in as a pranking sidekick)

You also mention how you have the skills to end fights and in the HOL that’s super important for survival without losing your mind. I think you’d do a great job at fixing the bonds between Belphie and him, or maybe even Satan and him! (i mean not fixing it instead of them, but like... they could get on the healthier path thanks to you! character development) 

I think he likes touching, even if his brothers are around - in fact maybe especially when they are around, so it’s nice that you’re OK with your partner being touchy. However you being there for him and running errands for him to show your love is just perfect. Quality time is also something you have in common, as I mentioned earlier expect to go to quite fancy places relatively often. Or just spending time in his room, i mean he wants alone time with you from time to time is there something wrong with that- 

You working hard is also something he values a lot! and if you have similar values thats a good start. 

I think you lack of self esteem would be risky if you were on his bad side  but that’s not happening. Lucifer is definitely strong and capable of lifting you up a bit, I mean you are literally dating him and he knows how to recognize someone smart so really you’d have no choice but to gain some more self esteem! (not because you are dating him because it’s not healthy to have self esteem only because of your partner, but I meant it in a way that he lowkey guides you to actually start believing in yourself. ) 

Hmm so you liking cozy places is nice because that skeleton in his room has no business staying there like wtf-

You two have similar likes when it comes to music so thats also good. So when you two are recharging there’s never going to be any arguments about that. I think he is open to lsiten to whatever music his partner likes but tbh if you like very similar stuff as him that just can’t go wrong, right?

In case he does something you don’t like you’ll absolutely have to tell him though! He will notice when you aren’t feeling yourself and it’s better to confront him about it than wait for him to bring this up. 

It’s also nice that you have your standards high like that especially when it comes to your partner as he is a demon with high standards! though he appreciates literally anything you give him, this man is just so in love. 

So this relationship includes two responsible adults and he helps you develop better communication skills & self esteem! the two of you can rely on the other at all times emotianlly and responsibility-wise as well. (though he might have a bit hard time to actually ask you for help, but once you get to know him and his capability. You’d help his relation with above mentioned brothers and him being family oriented he’d really love that and would never forget about how much he owes you for that. 

[jinxthequeergirl]

Teenage Rebellion's

Steve Harrington x Hopper! Reader

(Mainly a little more of a father daughter reader)

Requested by @melxoxo23 : " A story, where you're hoppers daughter and dating steve.with angst maybe?, but with a happy ending and include joyce too! Please and thank youuuu!"

Warning: swearing/ angst/ a small fight between pops and daughter

Hope you like it?!

~~~~~~~

You crawled through Steve's window instantly catching his attention. "What are you doing here?"

"What aren't you happy to see me, harrington?" you asked a but offended by his greeting as you shut the window.

"Yes I'm just...surprised." He got up from his spot on the bed and quickly moved to place his hands around your waist. "That was the point dumbass." you teased, wrapping your arms around his neck and leaning in to kiss him. He smiled and kissed back.

He lifted you up and spun you around earning a laugh from you before setting you on the bed.

"Your dad is going to kill you if he finds out your here...maybe he'll kill me first." He said from above you. you smirked knowingly at him, and took a glance at the time on his nightstand.

" silly boy you underestimate me!" you pushed him off top of you and sat up. "It's currently 11: 35 meaning Magnum p.I. just finished up an hour ago. I, knowing everything about my father, knew that he goes to bed at exactly ten on the dot! giving me about twenty minutes to make sure he feel asleep before slipping out my window and into yours!" you booped him upon saying the last word, and slung your legs over his lap with a smile. "And your sister?"

"Sleep over with max." you said with a grin. "Now are you complaining about this or would you rather come over tomorrow and deal with three inches?" with out another word he moved in and kissed you.

It wasn't a secret that something had been different with you for the past couple of weeks. You had been pushing to do things you never once wanted to do, you started planing things around your father. Steve started taking note of these things but didn't say anything thinking it would pass. He pulled away scraching the back of his neck.

"What's wrong?"

"I was actually going to ask you the same thing." You looked at him confused. "C'mon you've been acting... different this past week."

"I have not..." He gave an unconvinced look. "I..." you groaned and feel back onto his bed. You pat the space beside you and he laied next to you.

"In all honesty...I Have no idea, like I feel I should but I don't just everytime my dad tells me not to do something it just pisses me off so I go against it! And lately it's worse I just feel like he...well...you get the point for the most part."

"Just a little teenage rebellion never hurt anyone." You chuckled lightly and snuggled into him. "I guess..."

"It'll pass over."you hummed in response and shut your eyes. "Hey don't let me fall asleep, I need to get home..." you muttered already pretty drowsy.

"No..no..I Promise.." he mumbled resting his chin on top of your head eyes slowly shutting. Soon enough you where both asleep.

"I'm telling you it's that harrington kid! He's nothing but a bad influence on her now!" joyce looked at hopper as he paced back and forth in front of her. "Well I think Steve is a nice guy." she said simply looking back down at the cash register.

"That's what he wants you to think!"

Joyce scrunched her noise in conduction. "Why would Steve want you to THINK he's nice?"

Hopper threw his hands up before placing them on the edge of the counter. "I Don't know!"

"I think maybe it's another one of those issues where you just need to talk to her!" Hopper opened his mouth but shut it when Steve's car pulled up outside.

Both adults watched you hop out after giving him a kiss. "Morning joyce! Hey dad." You slid on your blue vest that matched the one Joyce wore. "Where the hell were you this morning!"

"I accidentally slept over at Steve's last night. Not a big deal!"

"Not a big deal? Y/n I didn't know where you went! I thought something happened! When did you even leave?"

"I told you last night."

"When!?"

"God why do you even care!? I'm here alive and breathing! Nothing happened last night either!"

"Listen I don't know what this little teen rebellion thing you have going on but I've had enough! Enough of the disrespect and the lying and just everything from you now!"

You rolled your eyes and started towards the back to start working, but hopper only followed you. "Hey! Do not walk away from me when I AM talking to you! You know I think this Harrington kid I proving to be-"

You whirled around angrily. "You leave Steve out of this! It's NOT his fault I'm acting like this! It's YOUR own!"

He stoped taken aback by this. "What did you say?"

"It's your own damn fault I'm acting like this you are just to...to..ugh dense to realise that! To dense or stupid!"

His eyes widened. "Really? Well if I can't realise that maybe I don't know you anymore! You might as well be a stranger! You might as well not live under the same roof!"

"What are you kicking me out now because of this!?"

"Well I mean you wanna sneak out stay away as long as you can maybe I am." it was your turn to state at him suprised.

"Hop..." neither of you had realised Joyce was following trying her best to cool the both of you off. "Good. Fine! It's not like you'll notice you act like you have one daughter anyways!" you stormed to the front of the store the last part of your scentence sinking in.

"Wait what does that mean!? Where are you going!?"

"Get my stuff from your place! You want me out so fucking bad!" He stopped as the door slammed shut.

"Goddamn it!" He fumbled around for his keys until Joyce came up beside him and took them. "Hopper no! You need to stay here, I will go talk her! You need to cool down...I'll be back."

She quickly pushed the door open and hurried down the street to you.

"Y/n! Y/n!"

"Yes?" you snapped turning to her.

"Are you ok? What's going on with you?"

You stopped and stared at her searching very deep down inside. After telling steve last night something else came to mind something you thought was stupid and selfish. Something you swore you would just ignore but the more and more It stuck in your brain the more It made you want to act out.

"Y/n?.." Joyce moved closer to you and rubbed away a tear that started to fall from your face.

"I'm going to sound like a five year old of I tell you."

"Thats ok..." You both sat down on the curb and you took a breath.

"Every Sunday...dad would make French toast since it was my favioret...we had this silly superstion that if he made the first on properly the rest would turn out bad."

You started to cry just thinking of it and joyce simply placed a hand over yours as she listened. "So he always burnt the first one, that's how I would know he was making breakfast, because I would be waken up by the smell of burning bread." You both chuckled as you paused to wipe away tears.

"And every Friday we would rent a movie every Friday no matter what...It didnt matter if he was tired he would come home and take me to family video and we would pick a movie, we never finished then because we would both fall asleep...but that changed when he adopted el." You sighed using your free hand to play with your shoe laces.

"I love el so much, there is nothing in this world that could make me think other wise. But I get the feeling that nothing I do is ever as good as anything she could do in my dads eyes, I feel like I come on second now! And I miss our stupid old traditons!"

"So you did this as a way to get his attention?..."

You looked at her. "I guess in a weird toddler way of acting out yea.."

"It's not weird...love can make us do crazy things...even make us rebell against the people we love..."

"Yea...I guess it does." you smiled softly.

"But I think maybe you should talk to him tell him You miss doing things like that and miss spending time with him..."

You where scilent. "We could even go back together and tell him?"

So the both of you walked back to the store hopper stood there anxiously before you two came back in.

You both started to speak at the same time. "Let me it's my fault so just hear me out? And if by the end this you can...well you can kick me out if you want?"

He pulled you into a hug. "I don't think that gonna happen kiddo."

~a week later~

"What are you wearing?"

You looked over to your dad with a smile as you stepped out of your room. "What? It's...how would you put it? Cutting edge!" You joked making him laugh.

Things where better, a lot better no more teenage rebellion from you now that things where explained and fixed. There was a knock at the door catching both your attention.

"I'll get it!" you hurried across the room And opened the door. "El there here!" you stepped aside letting steve, Mike and joyce enter. Steve greeted you with a warm hug and kiss.

"Evening Sir." Steve said nervously after shutting the door.

"Relax kid, you can call me hopper. What movie did you get?"

You lead Steve to the couch as he looked through the bag. "Well everyone had different suggestions so out choices are. The breakfast club, ghost busters, American werwolf in london, pretty in pink, and Nightmare on elm street."

"I vote pretty in pink!" joyce said taking a seat next to hopper.

"No girly movie! Nightmare on elm street!" Mike chilled in. "Are you two even old enough to see that?" steve asked. Soon enough everyone started arguing over the movie.

You smiled at hopper and he offered you the same one knowing what would happen no matter what they picked.

"Ok Ok put the werewolf one on! Mike where are the snacks!" Hopper said quickly shutting every one up. Mike handed him the bag full of candy and snack before passing them out.

You curled up onto the couch next to Steve as the movie began

[picklepickens]

small notes for the future me cuz i forget things really easily

2004- born

2008- divorce. beginning of feeling so scared around people 

2010-2013 - not recognizing emotions, only feeling scared because of not knowing much. the only way to show these emotions are through tears

2014- new people. starting to feel more aggressive than sad. getting into video games, social media. dreaming of romance, but only because feeling desperate. ‘if even my family, the people closest to me cant make me happy. then a lover will!!’, thoughts of running away. learning english. giving up on grades cuz i failed a test where the questions were ‘is this hot or cold?’

2015- starting off really well, making friends, as well as abandonment that comes after. getting into music and focusing on drawing. learning what sex is D: , playing volleyball, start of good memories in the school bus, opening up more to people. meeting online friends, getting into fandoms, unironic roleplaying

2016- being the official emo of the school while somehow getting in a popular girl group. manipulation, bullying, self doubt, slight sexual abuse. getting REALLY into creepypasta, rock music. being abandoned at the end of the year, learning about social interactions, more happy school bus memories!, doing makeup, getting in a swimming club for 3 days, breaking knee while moving. ow

2017- moved into a new, beautiful place. realizing a weight has been lifted off my shoulders since the place i lived put a lot of pressure on me. trying to fit in at school after the wreck of last year. developing an unhealthy crush, being disappointed soon after. learning about public transportation, starting to hang out with friend outside. girls night!, meeting cool teachers, drawing in every break, learning more about social interactions. financial problems, having only soup for one day. feeling alone and unwanted, having urges to harm self, not going outside, eating unhealthly, falling into heavy depression. taking medication without being diagnosed, but it helps. the only good things that happened that summer was going to a nice holiday and discovering dan and phil, who made things so much easier for me.

2018- new, healthy friendships. being silly. starting to work on grades bc at this point i have to, cuz i need to go to a high school with a scholarship! learning that if i put my mind to it, i can actually do schoolwork and good grades. increasing confidence. being happier, sneaking out of school, new schoolbus! good memories!, being a lil horny lmao, another unsuccessful crush, dancing, mEMEs, starting to talk to my dad again, only to not talk to him for a few more months, which is just the usual, taking care of physical health at summer, getting thinner and turning into a hot piece of ass, moving out of the dream house bc of ongoing debts, moving into an older, problematic house.

2019- starting high school!! actually socializing, studying, studying, STUDYING. getting reeeeally competitive. trying out new clubs, going to the uk for the first time, having an amazing time there. getting 2nd place in a mational competition, earning an iwatch, going out so much more, strenghning friendships, getting really into fashion, starting to enjoy reading, getting into nature

2020- the excitement dying out, being self concious, still studying and having good relationships with teachers, being extremely anxious about the future, being obsessed with money, slight self hatred, still being competitive but chilling out a bit, making even more lasting friendships, having strong opinions, self theraphy, realization of having one self encouraging side and another critical side, constantly having mood swings, giving up on schoolwork, starting to accept and love the house that i live in, only to have problems with the landlord, being evicted, but we havent moved out yet,,. discovering passion, being relieved, cutting hair and dying it pink, feeling like a bad bitch, using owo and uwu unironically, realizing that i forget some things as a defense mechanism. remembering the sexual disturbance in 2016. realizing its abuse. realizing familial abuse. actually starting to talk with dad, actually being like a real dad and daughter, starting to accept him and openly love him, discovering the value of some friends that i ignored, discovering that i made really good friends who were willing to help me out in time of need, coming to terms with some problems, and just going by. also there was a pandemic and i think i got the covid 19 at the start of it, but it wasnt as recognized as it is now. so i guess we’ll never know. being confessed to by a good friend. going out of the awkward phase with past crush and being friends again, not being too affected by the pandemic. improving at digital art. reducing myself a bit cuz i realized i can be overly hyped and end up hurting others. 

SO THIS HAS BEEN MY LIFE SO FAR. i wanted to make this kind of thing for a few days cuz i recently realized i forget a lot of things cuz thats just how my brain gets over things. its not perfect, im still a bit scared, im still self concious but i got so much better compared to what i was. a scared lil girl. now im just a bigger scared lil girl lol

- so hi to the future me! i wonder if things are going as planned, i wonder if u ticked some boxes off the bucketlist, and i wonder how future fam is doing as well. please take good care of yourself and the others! i cant wait to grow up and be, well, you.im putting 1 in the tags for personal stuff, cuz i want to go back on them one day. so thats the code

bye now! i love u!!

[exiting-the-void]

If there was one girl you could have back who would it be? And why? Apart from your most recent ex because that would be obvious

Tumblr AnswerIt's a differcult one to answer. I've had many great relationships. Some lasted longer than others, but I dated these girls because they all had something in common. They each had a lovely and caring heart. They also each meant alot to me. I'd narrow it down from 4 of my main relationships. You guys remember Abi right? She helped me out when my followers chart went through the roof.Then there is Becca. We have alot of history and you're about to get a history lesson in a moment also.Then there is Ellie and Georgia.Georgia was my first love so I wish things could have happened differently.So I'm not going to talk about this separately. I'm going to go back to when I was 13 when me and Becca first dated.Then that led to Georgia, Georgia led to Abi and then Ellie came out of nowhere.So here is the story for your question.I'll make it as short as possible because otherwise this story would fill 300 pages easily.Becca and I went to the same primary school. So we knew of each other from the age of 6.I always had a little thing for her. My best friend Liam was living at there's for a few years with his mum. So I was there an awful lot. We turned 12 and 13. I was the older one. And we were speaking on Facebook, decided to meet up a few times. And decided to start dating. It snowed that year on her 13th birthday. I gave her a card with £5 because I'm classy like that. We went to Mcdonalds and held hands in a company of her two best friends. That relationship ended in about 3 weeks. It was petty. I think we might have kissed three times. I don't know hahaWe drifted. Again almost a year later the same thing happened. It was September. We were meeting up alot. We were at a friend's house, drinking cheap alcohol. And we kissed. We dated again for another 3 weeks just for it to come to another end. This time we actually snogged.We are now in 2009, September. I seen her in Mcdonalds and alot of memories came back to me. Regrets of leaving her ect.. I knew I didn't really deserve another chance but I chanced it anyway. We went out one night with friends. I was abit Drunk. Told her how I felt. Told her I'd remember it all in the morning. Which I did. So I repeated myself. We trialed for a short while. I played and sang whatcha say by Jason durulo and asked her out at the end of it. She said yes.Halloween we went to a party. I got way too pisses and told her about my self harming. A month or two went by and I broke up with her because I forseen my future and told her that she wouldn't want to be apart of that. My vision became true eventually. A year or two passed with us not being in contact again. I met a girl. The first girl I ever truly loved. Georgia. So I met Georgia in school. She was running around the yard with my friend, I instantly liked her.. We got talking. We met up alot. I Began to really like her. We held hands and I felt so fucking good. I loved her already. We kissed. It was amazing. I loved everything about that moment. I told her I had 5 words for you. Will you be my girlfriend. She said yes. I felt so fucking good. Now I was a horrible person in school. Always fighting. Never lost one, only ever been punched in the face 4" times, one of them times wasn't even in a fight. Just some drunk idiot, I let it slide, I have no time for that shit now. Off subject.... Anyway, she changed me for the better. My school suspensions lowered by 80%..i was sent home from school almost weekly. I had the record of most sent home, suspensions, in the school. It was bad. I had over 300 from when I first started high school. I was troubled with mental health they didn't understand. So we agreed that each week I behaved I'd be rewarded with a kit kat. Yeah maybe that sounds silly but it worked. It just a little fun on the side I guess.Then becca and I started talking again. As usual, coming up to Christmas our time of year. It was nice, we spent time together again. Nothing was going on. It came past Christmas, she spent new years with me and down my nanas.my nana wouldn't let us sleep in the same room even though nothing would have happened. I had alot of respect for this girl. She said to me don't leave me. I said I'd never leave you. My biggest promise I'd ever broken. Anyway.. The new year, the worst year of my life. I was turning 16.I started to gain feelings for becca again. Everything went tits up. Valentines day I was with Georgia, but wanted to be with becca. I had been planning to break up with Georgia for a week or two to go with becca. I got Georgia a teddy bear. She named it Jack. My heart snapped. I felt like crying and I felt so fucking terrible because I could tell she was starting to love me. My feelings were all over the place.Anyway we broke up. I instantly I knew it was thoughts over feelings. I made the biggest regret of my life there and then. I told becca I couldn't do it and I wanted Georgia. Probably guessed that me and becca fell out and stopped speaking again.Me and Georgia got back together. I told her I. Loved her. My birthday passed. I could tell she didn't want to be there. She broke up with me. I cried for weeks. I self harmed. It was all my fault. I was a total dick. I didn't cheat on her. Not once. But I did tell becca I had feelings for her. I then lost the first love of my life. And my best friend.Time went on as it does. September. I had a girlfriend. The first girl I had sex with who had broken up with me, I was instantly hurt. But Georgia was still on my mind. Always was. But then there was Abi. She held me in a forest when I was crying because of this break up with Molly. I always new Abi liked me. I can detect alot from. People and emotions and feelings are the easiest.Me and Abi became close friends after that. It snowed one day. The video snow day on my. Youtube is the day in question. Great day. I realised that day I liked Abi.We grew closer. We had a very intense week to our build up for our kiss. I knew exactly where I wanted to do it and how I wanted to do it, so I planned it out for about a week. And it was the best build up and first kiss I've ever had. It was something from a movie. Fabulous.We spent a lot of time together. Some of the best days of my life were with Abi. We got on really well. Knew each other really well. Put up with each others shit really well, sometimes.. However this was when I started to smoke weed alot of more than when I started which was not long after my break up with Georgia. One night we went camping with some friends of mine. We seen the stars. It was beautiful. I said some cheesy shit and she said she was ready.We contected a lot better after that night. We had alot of good times. Nice short adventures, watched some movies. Spoke alot on personal levels. And I fell in love again but I held back because of the hurt.Really Im finding it hard to love. I will find it hard to ever truly love again. I've given and sometimes wasted my energy and love on other people rarther than myself. Love isn't as strong or controlling to me as it once was before. And that really makes me sad.So I became un loyal to Abi as Georgia stepped back into my life and so did all the feelings I left behind. I told Georgia I loved her still. Which I did. But I had spoken to Georgia off and on constantly. But she wouldn't tell me that no we would not ever get together again. She left me feeling I had a chance. So I couldn't let go. Abi found out about this. But I could be wrong here but this I think happened on the second time me and Abi dated. We were off and on abit. I wasn't loyal in our break up either. It was in Facebook and she didn't know I broke up with her until a week later when I had to explain that our conversation last week was me breaking up with you. Yeah I felt like a twat, but I deserved it.Time went by. I was doing alot more drugs. My great nana died. Abi was there for me, my friend died the next day in a car crash. Wasn't a massive Friend. But someone I knew and got on with really well, seen quite often and even spoken to her on the phonea few hours before she died. Abi was great. No matter how many times I hurt her (not physically) she'd still be there for me. So thank you for that Abi.Come August me and becca were good friends again. Me and Abi were a little more distant now. Anyway that was a fun summer. Drug use, increased. I got in trouble and went away for two years. Becca and Abi were there for support the whole way through. Amazing people. We are still in contact now, and remain close and good friends.Georgia and I haven't spoken for a few years and I managed to get over her 4 years after our break up.Then Ellie. The last one. What it was about Ellie was that she was just an incredible person. Lovely, fun, we connected on many levels. Loved the same things, and she was always up for having a good time. We'd go on walks, climb things, drink, I had stopped doing drugs at this point for a good while. So I didn't participate in the weed smoking or anything more. But she was An all around great girl. Always honest and said it like it is. And we were very alike. So thats why she is here in the chart. Not a big story. But i wish it lasted longer and didn't end the way it did. We Still talk a little and always happy to see each other. We broke up because she had feelings for an ex. And I know how that feels and told her she needs time on her own to figure shit out. And ended on good terms anyway.So there are your four. There are more but I choose these because of the stories, how alike we all are on different levels. Also to how happy they made me feel. But becca was the biggest part in my life and in this story. But the long story would see differently and it would be Georgia. This is honestly as short as I can keep it.But the truth is, I wouldn't want any of them back. I wouldnt want to do it all over again. We broke up for a reason, and they are my exes for a reason. Without them and what we went through, I wouldnt be in the position I'm in now. Talking to all you lovely followers. Getting to know you all individually and helping you guys out. I wouldn't have the amazing friends I have today. I wouldn't have my characteristics I have, my loving heart. I'd be a different person and most times I like who I am. I'm glad what happened happened. Just maybe not in the circumstances they happened in. But everything happens for a reason. Not one of them would I want back in my life, besides the point two of them already are. But everything happens for a reason. But if if there was one I could do it all over again with, it would be Georgia.

[dweebobeebo-blog]

Vegas

this is actually based off a dream i had not to long ago, the dream is literally burned into my mind

Warnings; None

People mentioned; Zack, Dallon, Dan, and Kenny

Y/h/n (your husbands name)

Having been a panic! Fan since the age fifteen and having always wanted to go to a panic concert or even just meet them all in public it never seemed to happen, I got married at eighteen, wasn't my brightest idea in my book but then again you're only young and dumb once.

Being 24 now, practically begging my husband to come with me to the panic concert, he agreed reluctantly, I squealed and danced around like a little girl something he wasn't to fond of me doing. Being seven years older than me is sometimes a curse because he doesn't exactly Always Know how to let lose and have fun. He always would poke fun at me when I would be' immature and acting like a twelve year old girl'

We weren't always the happiest married couple put there we've had our fair share of three fights a night, I made sure to look exceptionally better than I usually do, him wearing a t-shirt and shorts. Wow great effort

"A/G/N are you ready!" I shout from the front door, he groaned angrily and stormed out to the car well okay.

When we got to the concert, it was packed. I honestly couldn't wait to see them live for once I k now I'm fucking 12! We got to our seats and made very little small talk, him mainly on his phone talking to his 'guys' I was talking to a couple people next to me

"You're seriously so pretty!!"

"Oh thanks, I'm Y/n by the way" I smile at the girl

"I'm Sabrina and this is Connor my friend" Sabrina says we  continue to talk until the show starts and once it does Sabrina Connor and I are dancing and singing like a bunch of fools, Connor then started recording Sabrina and I

"We have to exchange numbers!" We sat at the same time with a laugh , I look at my husband to see him with a weird annoyed look, pop punk, or punk in general wasn't his thing.

They start to play 'lying is the most fun a girl can have without taking her clothes off'

I grin and sing along to it Sabrina and I doing some of what we would call sexy dances, having being fairly close to the stage we know damn well they can see us! Oh well, I wonder how it feels to he back in his hometown.

When the show was finally done, y/h (chosen name) went straight to the car probably lighting up a cigarette, Sabrina and I decided to linger and look around some merch. We heard some girls screaming and we looked, the group was walking out to talk to some fans and take pictures, Zack staying close to them, we continued looking and I was bumped into

"Woah shit I'm sorry!" I recognize that voice it's Brendon

"Hey it's okay little bump or punch never hurt anyone" I laugh, his face Instantly lit up

"Good I'm still sorry" he smiles "did you enjoy the show"

"We did, but my husband didnt" I laugh "you did good"

"Thanks! See yah round ..?"

"Y/n" I smile

"See yah around y/n" he patted my shoulder and they left, Sabrina looked at me and smiled I just rolled my eyes and we went outside Connor was by my husband.

"He was intruiged by you" sab says "you were intruiged by him"

"Sab were both married shush", we offered to give Sabrina and Connor a ride home, we made sure to give each other our numbers

×× "I'm stopping to get gas want anything from inside" I ask

"No thanks though" he replies, I nodded and went inside to pay for the gas and me a drink, I was parched I didn't want to go home just yet but he does. I pay and turn around hearing a group of laughter coming in, the group of attractive married men again I laugh to myself

"Oh hey I bumped into you at the arena" Brendon speaks up

"Oh hi" I laugh "yeah."

"Where are you headed ?" Dan speaks up

"Home. The Mr isn't happy I drug him to the concert tonight " I sigh

"How long have you been married?" Brendon asks

"Since I was eighteen he was twenty-five" I mentally slap myself " I could kick myself for doing that"

"Woah" they all say "thats young"

I just nod and laugh, and we talk some more

"I should go before he gets even madder" I grumble "it was nice meeting you all!" They opened their arms for a hug and I Glady accepted it I finally got to meet panic!

When we got home, he went to bed thank God. He had to be up at six anyways. I sat in the living room with the tv on it being the only light source besides my phone

I sigh, I can't seem to get what sab said to me walking out to the car, was he really intrigued? Enough to go past his wife..? I decide I would text her and see what she thinks

Me; it's y/n sabrina, I can't get what you said out of my head

I scrolled through twitter to see a bunch of stuff about the concert, I got a notification from someone following me back, I went and looked. Did Dan just follow me back? Huh I must be dreaming. I shrugged it off and went to Instagram

Sab: he had an intrigued look when he saw you! I wouldn't lie

Me: we saw each other at the gas station we all talked. Dan just followed on Twitter as well I think I'm dreaming :p

I get another notification from Twitter this time it being a dm and some more people following me. Yup that's it this is definitely a dream

Danpawlovich - you're y/n from the show right the one Brendon bumped into? Dandilionbaby- actually yes! How'd you find me so easily ? :P Danpawlovich- your picture i had to contact you, Brendon was well I don't know how to say this but into you a bit? Dandilionbaby- he's married ? And I am too Dan, thanks for telling me this though he's a interesting man..

I want to know why people are saying this, why does they think he's intrigued by me? He's married to a beautiful woman.

Danpawlovich- well he is intrigued, he wants to chat more. And meet up. He's always here in Vegas a lot. :p why not you can he good friends!

Dandilionbaby-well maybe! I'm headed to bed maybe tomorrow we can have lunch :)

I head upstairs, plugging my phone in and changing, brushing my teeth and laying down right before I doze off Dan replies

Danpawlovich- we all agreed and said yes! Just let us know when tomorrow!

Dandilionbaby- sounds great!

What the hell is happening right now? We run into each other ones at the show, then after at the gas station and not even and hour later his drummer Dan finds me and messages me. This has to be a damn dream.

××

I woke up around ten, my husband didn't even try to wake me to say goodbye he's so mad about me making him go, I grabbed my phone and saw a message from Sabrina and Dan

Sab- now I'm intruiged! :P I feel like a little girl again

Me- so do I!

I laugh and realize I probably shouldn't seeing how I'm supposed to have lunch with the guys, I grab a cup of coffee instead

Danpawlovich- we need it to be low-key is that fine?

Dandilionbaby- of course! If you would rather I can make us lunch here at my house?

I run upstairs to the master room and change into jeans and a nice shirt

Danpawlovich- won't be a bother? We don't want to intrude

Dandilionbaby- husband is at work and of course it won't be don't be silly Dan I would love it. Mi casa su casa

I laugh to myself and start cleaning around the house, I'm so glad we don't have animals or kids right now but I do get rather lonely when he's at work

Danpawlovich- if you insist! Just send me your address we will be there shortly love

I sent him the address, and picked up some more, throwing my hair into a messy bun. I was nervous to have these dudes over we just met. It's so odd. The doorbell rings and I rush to get it, seeing them all in back jackets and sunglasses, i open the door and smile

"Come in come in" I say, and they Do, taking off their hoods and sunglasses "welcome to my lonely yet humble abode"

"It's nice" Dan speaks, they follow me to the kitchen where I take out the pizza I made

"So why did you actually want this?" I question them putting slices on the plates and setting them down in front of the boys

"You were so chill, you're cute but yet lonely " Brendon says " I admire the chill fans"

"Well thanks Brendon" I smile and sit down  "I am rather lonely. Not having kids or animals I don't have much to do"

"Well consider your day booked!" Dallon says "the Mr won't mind will he?"

"No and I don't care he didn't speak to me for the rest of the night" I scoff

As the day went on, the guys had me I'm tears from laughing so hard, it's like I've known them forever. But the more I around Brendon the worse the urge to kiss him gets.

"We're going to the strip tonight why don't you come" Brendon suggests

"Yah it'll be fun!" Dan says

"Sure okay what time?" I ask

"Around about 8 we can pick you up" Brendon says with a smile I just not "great we gotta get going though see you later"

"Bye guys !" I hug them all when they leave I clean the kitchen, knowing it'll take me forever to find out what time wear I go rummage through the closet, settling on some jeans that make my ass look great and a shirt that showed not to much cleavage but not to less and it looked good

Me: hey honey, I'm going out tonight with some friends you can go see the boys if you want :*

I hoped into the shower, washing everything better than I normally would something I've always fine before going out, when I'm done I dry off, starting on my hair making it wavy, doing little to none makeup

××

It's almost eight, my husband is home fucking around on his phone and playing video games, not even. Remotely caring I was leaving.

Danpawlovich- we on our way don't forget your id!

Dandilionbaby- of course not!!

I put on my heels grabbing my purse, grabbing my keys in case he locks the doors before I get home which he probably will

"I'm leaving honey" I say leaning down to place a kiss on his cheek, he just nods and rubs my hand. I walk out and sit on the porch steps waiting for the guys, when they pull up I stand up dusting my bottom off and walking to the car

"Hey you!" Dan smiles "you look good"

"You really do" Brendon and dallon add at the same time

"Awh thanks ! You all look nice as well" I say I nudge Kenny and Dan making them chuckle "so cheer me up what's going on tonight?"

"So casino, gamble a bit, eat drink walk drink some more" Kenny says "your feet will kill you"

"Eh I'm used to it. Practically forced to wear heels when I go to a business dinner with Mr. " I sigh

"No fun" brendon says. They turn on the radio and blare the music and we all dance and sing along

When we reach the strip and get out, they look like body guards for me, I laugh to myself when Kenny holds the door open Dan and Dallon on both sides of me holding their hands out so I take them and step out of the car

"Why thank you gentlemen" I laugh

"Your highness the man awaits" they laugh Zack and Kenny show casing Brendon like show girls, we all break into a fit of laughter.

[s3venpounds]

1 - 40

jesus buddy, if you wanted to know more about me just friend me somewhere and talk to me facebook,discord,overwatch,psn, snapchat w.e! haha i dont bite!

also this is gonna be really feckin long

1: Talk about the first time you watched your favorite movie.

How to train your dragon (1 and 2 i can’t decide) I fucking LOVE dragons. the idea to fucking ride one in the sky?!?! fucking DOPE. the idea that theyre also SCALY DOGS?!?!? MOTHER.FUCKING.DOPE. i just associate the idea of freedom with flying through the sky and that feeling was conveyed really well in that movie so i really loved it!

2: Talk about your first kiss.

honestly? kinda dumb now that i look back on it. it was a peck, i wasn’t even like mentally prepared and it happened way faster than i thought. If i knew it was going to happen i would have really like milked that fucker. i woulda went romance movie on that shit with all the extra shit like groping and weird inhaling noises and kissing so hard your teeth almost clink together. but yknow coulda woulda shoulda

3: Talk about the person you’ve had the most intense romantic feelings for.

theyre not a part of my life anymore which admittedly fucking sucks but i think its for the better at least for them. do i wish it worked out and we were together? i mean yeah duh, the reasons i fell for them don’t fucking disintegrate/ i just have more information than i had when i first met that person. will i actually actively pursuit them in the chance to be with them again? hell no. i’m tired. and i’ve seen enough “ self confidence” posts on here to think “ hey if someone really wanted me in their life they would go out of their way to do so and seeing as they haven’t even messaged me in god knows how long then its safe to say theyre off being happy

4: Talk about the thing you regret most so far.

man i haven’t seen this person is literally almost 20 years. I need to apologize. or at the very fucking least, see how theyre been doing. its driving me mad just trying to picture how theyre living and just coming up with a giant question mark.

5: Talk about the best birthday you’ve had.

lets be real bro most of my birthdays have been shit so i gave up on tryna make them memorable or fun, ‘s just another day to me. i mean the best one would have to be this one time i got a gameboy advance but thats pretty much it

6: Talk about the worst birthday you’ve had.

yknow how everyone says “ OH MY GOD WE SHOULD KEEP IN TOUCH” once you move? yeah thats bullshit. honest to god bullshit. i kept tabs on everyone when i moved to a different city and when i came down to visit for my birthday inviting all those people who supposed “wanted to keep in touch with me” literally 1 person showed up. and i think they only showed up because our parents were friends too. so yeah. fuck people sometimes.

7: Talk about your biggest insecurity.

hygiene. breath, hair, clothes, eating habits, manners, anything that might make me come off as unclean to people im trying to impress drives me off the fucking wall. specially at formal events. if im wearing snazzy clothing at like a suite 16 or a debut or a wedding bet you $100 that im adjusting little aspects of my appearance every like 15 seconds. eating mints the second one is finished, trying not to be too close to someones face when talking, even when i fucking fart i always take note of which way the wind is blowing, or im sitting down on something that can absorb the stench, how much pressure is in my gut and how much of it can i let out in small bursts to avoid sound. that or asian dick syndrome. yknow. haha asians got a small dick? that kinda shit bugs me a bit. not a ton but more than i thought it would

8: Talk about the thing you are most proud of.(i am literally only 8 questions in and my fingers are a little sore from typing)

my singing and impressions? i once scared some friends when i imitated a party blower kazoo thingy since the ones they bought from the dollarstore didnt make any sound. same as my singing, i tend to get high scores and i impressed my cousins once with a perfect score on a backstreet boys song HEH

9: Talk about little things on your body that you like the most.

my biceps? theyre not like chris hemsworth level of meaty but like when i worked at this physically demanding job my coworkers are like “ woah dude ur arms are different from mine, if you worked out theyd look so ripped” that kinda stuck with me for a while specially knowing they were a football jock and they had their own special diet and fitness instructor or something. i also like my smile/ jaw shape? my hair can look pretty good too sometimes

10: Talk about the biggest fight you’ve ever had.

my family is very passive aggressive oh and racist

11: Talk about the best dream you’ve ever had.

i once had this dream where i had reallllly passionate sex and it felt real and i could feel like every little detail down to like hairs brushing my skin on my arms and shit. i swear to this day it was a modern day succubus or something

12: Talk about the worst dream you’ve ever had.

that dream where i was a bird and flying away from”something” just all my instincts telling me to RUN. or that dream where i got shot in the hand, chest then the head and before i blacked out i said “Ch*****” who incidentally i was going to see later that day which made things very awkward at least for me

13: Talk about the first time you had sex/how you imagine your first time.

it was pretty good. looking back i was probably shit in bed hahaha first time so of course theres shit to work out. 

14: Talk about a vacation.

hit on by a cousin AND their gay friend. to which the cousin threatened me with self harm but the gay friend took the rejection very easily it was almost baffling in comparison (although the second the settled down they started to bash on me for rejecting their friend) also ate some REALLLLLY garlic covered crab the smell took 5 washes to get out… also got to ride in the back of a truck as its driving at like 120 mph and flying off all these little hills and tracking mud everywhere it was great

15: Talk about the time you were most content in life.

she was in my arms fast asleep and i took a photo. she didnt like that but let me keep the pic so that was nice.

16: Talk about the best party you’ve ever been to.

i can’t really remember any that stand out they were all equally fun. dont get me wrong some were super fun its just that it was also followed by a lot of bad choices that kinda take it down a notch. i will say this one party a friend hosted where i got to meet a BUNCH of new people. i also snorted some fundip powder as a dare. they refuse to let it go so i figure might as well own it. i also landed some sweet shots in beerpong

17: Talk about someone you want to be friends with.

ellen paige would be dope to be friends with. same with zendaya. and gal gadot just so i can like sit in her presence and be in awe for extended periods of time

18: Talk about something that happened in elementary school.

i was cheating on a test and my so called friend ratted me out never talked to him again that white privilege lookin hoe

19: Talk about something that happened in middle school.

i stopped talking to a friend that id thought i would be friends with for my whole life. i also became friends with my current best friend

20: Talk about something that happened in high school.

people are dumb. drama is dumb. people who seek out this kinda shit needa leave me the hell alone. and if youre going to challenge me to a fight, tell me about said fight so i can show up. dont march around telling people ur gonna fight me and not tell me so i dont show up and make it look like i pussied out. like for real?

21: Talk about a time you had to turn someone down.

oh yeah like the vacation one said : shit got really weird. and to have that sorta conversation on spotty wifi in an airport in south korea meaning jet lag is also disorienting af

22: Talk about your worst fear.

death. nuff said

23: Talk about a time someone turned you down.

it sucked but it happens so like.? lmao i dont really know waht to say but it sucked

24: Talk about something someone told you that meant a lot.

i have a horrible memory and on top of that my mind moves at like 32754895274 miles a second so i dont keep stuff in mind a lot in the first place. i can’t really think of anything that had so much impact that i’ve remembered it. well i mean there was this one song a friend told me about in a letter and to this day i’ve kept remembering the same verse “ maybe if we met each other under a different sky maybe things would be much better between you and i”

25: Talk about an ex-best friend.

we just….grew apart. and if we tried to be friends now im sure there would be tension and unease. hes just in a different friend circle. i dont hate him for it i just feel like hes living in a world of white and im living in a world of black like its just plain and simple

26: Talk about things you do when you’re sick.

on the computer. i can’t rest when im sick. i just keep trudging along. school, work, hangouts, i still go. i just take precautions to not spread it

27: Talk about your favorite part of someone else’s body.

neck? shoulder? hands? face? hair? idk dood i don’t really like specific places more of how WELL those parts can mesh together to make this beautiful being.

28: Talk about your fetishes.

y’all about to learn some shit because im gonna teach you a thing about me. pov’s, deepthroat/gagging, emo/goth, anal, massage, ropes and power trips, asians, tentacles if im feeling kinky, hentai /cartoon shit, glory holes, dirty talk and asmr (who woulda thought theres porn for that huh?), ahegao(being fucked silly or till your mind breaks into being nothing but a cumdump), swallowing, threesomes, double penetration, latex is pretty cool too, cosplays are nice if the characters are ones i recognize, tittyfucks, source film maker porn of like video game characters are getting pretty professional nowadays, lesbian, orgys, teenage girls and old ass guys, horse dicks and girls who try to take em, i got turned on by a girl fucking a dog once so i guess bestiality is a thing, oh i saw this scene in a movie im not sure if it was real it seems kinda hazy but it involved necrophilia but im not sure if it turned me on or it was so weird i’ve memorized it because of how weird it was. chicks with dicks fucking other chicks. and a plethora of other weird shit. i dont know what fetishes count and what doesn’t so i just listed whatever came to mind as i wrote have fun with that shit

29: Talk about what turns you on. 

short hair, asian heritage, playful and lighthearted but can be lustful as all hell, shorter than me, big boobs is a plus, mid driffs, underboob, small frame or face, scent( god if you smell good thats instant brownie points with me), likes anime, high pitch voices are cute as hell, very physically intimate, loves PDA’s, yeah i can’t really think of much

30: Talk about what turns you off.

uhh smells bad?, when their personality is bland/boring, or just shit. over timidness i get being shy but like if you can’t trust that the person youre interested in then like what am i supposed to do. i literally dated a girl who was so sheepish all i could do was ask her yes or no questions. and honestly that got old really fucking fast. i get she was trying but like i can only finesse so much of a relationship man. bad hygiene holy fuck. if you got like ear wax showin our ur ears, or like a bleeding pimple in plain view and refuse to at least dab it with a wet cloth or tissue then pls its not gonna work out. dandruff oh my gOD. dandruff would drive me nuts. like if i get close enough to see individual fucking flakes im gonna tear my whole scalp off

31: Talk about what you think death is like.

i feel like our bodies stop responding but our “souls” are still present there trapped screaming and trying to move our body but can’t. and thats why burials and shit sound so terrifying

32: Talk about a place you remember from your childhood.

dont need to. im a couple blocks away i can visit it any time. (my elementary and middle school the neighbourhood surrounding it was also where i used to live so that was dope)

33: Talk about what you do when you are sad.

i force myself to get MORE sad so i can get it all out in one go and much faster. like how the human mind can only get so angry that the brain gives up and just tries to find another way to spend its time. 

34: Talk about the worst physical pain you’ve endured.

when i was a kid me and bunch of other kids decided to clog a slide with just a shit ton of people and one of my friends who came after me kept pushing me to the point i was hanging on for dear life using only my knee down that was wedged between a fat kid and my friend who went after me. i fell off eventually knocking skulls with another kid near the end of the slide(this slide was shaped like a spring so that explains why there were kids under me) my arm bend backwards for a sec after hitting another kid’s legs, and then i fell chest and fast first on the asphalt winding myself. kids are rugged as all hell man they can really take a hit. i walked it off but god damn if i didnt get bruises and shit afterwards. or that time i got beaten so bad by father dearest because work was stressful and i ended up blacking out. wasn’t even allowed to go to the hospital. just kinda laid down in my room with bruises all over.

35: Talk about things you wish you could stop doing.

relying on people for happiness. distracting myself from sadness and responsibilities. procrastinating in general

36: Talk about your guilty pleasures.

i dont really feel guilt save for some specific circumstances. ask any of my friends. does that mean im a sociopath or whatever? 

37: Talk about someone you thought you were in love with.

they just got out of a relationship with someone and was avoiding them profusely and i just started to get to know them. we got to the point that when she was ready we could date. little did i know that later, she would end up dating a friend of mine. to which i promptly had the appropriate reaction of crying myself to sleep, sending that friend a text message with all the things he should know to keep that girl happy and ultimately smashing a lot of things (some bottles actually because we were gonna build a sculpture or something together with em. man middle school was a fucking RIDE)

38: Talk about songs that remind you of certain people.

mmmmmm i would prefer to keep those underwraps.

39: Talk about things you wish you’d known earlier.

family will be there for you in the end. (not because they want to but because the world teaches them that they have to meaning they will help just in their own way and to their own ends.) friends come and go. they always have always will. anyone who says forever is a fuckin idiot. lovers come and go thats just a natural part of growing up. and lets be real all the people that said they would self harm ultimately never did so dont stress it so much god damn(but dont let it slide either)

40: Talk about the end of something in your life.

how about the end of my interest in anime and video games. nothing seems to really interest me anymore. everything is just kinda “meh”

[thedootlez]

Don’t Stop for Street Interviews - Clarifying Being Misrepresented

My husband David and I like to have date days. Due to our limited funds thanks to both of our student loans and the plethora of bills, our date days usually consist of walking around the city and just enjoying time together while we sip on bubble tea.

Ever since we started dating, we’ve had a route. Walk through Tompkins Park onto 8th street and along Saint Marks/Astor Place to Washington Square. If we’re feeling crazy, we’ll end our day on a bench along the Hudson River.

A few weeks ago, one of these date days was briefly interrupted along Saint Marks. Two men, one with a camera and another with a mic stopped us for some quick questions about income inequality.

I thought nothing of it. Saint Marks is the preferred filming spot for countless NYU film students working on final projects. The subject matter, in light of the political climate we’re currently in, just furthered that assumption. They were probably working on a school project.

With my bubble tea in hand and my favorite person next to me, I was feeling patient. I wasn’t in a hurry. Sure, I’d help this person out.

After answering a few seemingly innocent, non pointed questions that were framed in a way to allow our true options to be expressed, we were done. We exchanged smiles and a returned his thank you with a warm, “no problem” and that was that.

Yesterday, while I was at my side job, I received a tweet from a mutual of mine from a few years ago. “You may be interested to know that you’re in this video” and a link. The preview of which showed a thumbnail featuring myself and David from that day.

“Oh.” I thought, “That interview thing…” I furrowed my brows, “I didn’t know this was for a channel…I’m not really ok with being the thumb…they didn’t ask. I’m going to have to watch this later.”

Happy to put it off until I got home from work, I kept my day moving. That is, until I received a worrisome text from David. His friend had happened upon it and sent it to him as well.

Ok. I watched it on my lunch break and was quickly left seething.

This wasn’t some NYU student trying to pass a project. This was a conservative YouTube channel.

Now, I actually have a conservative background, believe it or not. I was raised in a conservative house and though I have grown to disagree with many of their stances as I’ve aged, I know that the vast majority of conservatives aren’t insane right-wing Nazis. I can happily have a civil conversation and respect the humanity of most conservatives I talk to because I understand where they come from.

The stance of the channel is not what left me upset, it was how the content within the video was framed and edited to appear as compared to the interaction I had a few weeks prior.

All of the complex answers David and I had given had been cut to simple, “yes” to very leading and pointed questions. Painting us (and others who appeared in the video) as ignorant, uninformed, socialist hipsters. All this of course, was highlighted by the separately filmed, cutting commentary of the person who had asked us the questions.

This video is furthering a close minded agenda of further dividing the right from the left and was tossed into an echo chamber of those who made absurd assumptions of the people interviewed in the video.

As much as I want the video taken down for grossly misrepresenting myself and my husband to further someone’s political agenda, I acknowledge that we willingly stopped and answered questions to a camera whether or not we knew what it was for.

This channel is also very large and could squash me in a heartbeat by flooding my channel with harassment. So I’m not trying to get into some legal, YouTube drama mess by trying to get the video taken down or even trying to get myself out of the thumbnail. That’s a headache I don’t need, is irrelevant to the positive/non political content I make, and I’m too broke for legal fees.

So I’m backed into a corner and all I can do is make receipts.

I’ve opted to make this post clarifying any misconceptions about my stances anyone may have gleamed from that video.

This interaction was about 2 or 3 weeks ago and I can barely remember what I ate for lunch yesterday, so I’m not going to sit here and act like I know all that he cut out, word for word. I do though, know the subjects we covered and that I expressed my views about them.

Here we go, what do I think about income inequality?

Do I think America needs more income equality? Yes, I do. Do I think it’s unequal now? Yes, I do. Do I think, then, that everyone should make the same amount of money no matter what? No, I don’t.

I think the hard work you pour into a job or career or dream should be compensated over that of those who do the bare minimum. If you went to school for 12 years to be a doctor, by all means, yes. Make good money. Be successful. Have a nice car and a nice house. Enjoy the fruits of your labor.

I also think though, that the poor should not have to rely on the government to be able to eat and pay rent. I think this should be done by raising the minimum wage so those who work 40 hours a week at any job, can have the bare basics of life taken care of without having to pick up a second job or get onto welfare.

You might ask, how would companies even pay for that? That means less jobs. You live in a fantasy land, you silly hipster.

No, that’s where income equality comes in. I’m fairly certain that if we raise the minimum wage and we then, also put a legal cap on how much money CEO’s and company heads can pay themselves, companies would easily be able to afford a wage raise without the loss of too many jobs.

Now, I’m not saying that we cap CEO’s and company heads to like $400k a year. That’s silly. I’m just saying that instead of paying themselves an average of $13 million per year (source), we cap it at maybe 5 or 6 million per year.

They still get to be millionaires and have $2k tee shirts and the poor can eat 3 times a day.

And thats pretty much it. My views are relatively simple.

It’s also important to note that this person brought up Venezuela. Namely asking us, if America should be more like Venezuela. The clip they used was taken out of context by cutting the front half of this person’s question. The full question was very direct (this is a not a word for word quote, but a rough summary), “Venezuela has a more income equal system.” but only this part of the question made it into the video "Do you think we should be more like Venezuela?”

I said, “Yes.” before continuing to discuss that we shouldn’t be exactly like them because it’s complicated.

So, to clarify:

In any capacity, Yes. I think America should be “more income equal” which was the question. No matter what country is more income equal, if it’s more than we currently are, then yes. I think it needs more. But that is very vague now, isn’t it?

No, I don’t think America needs to be more like Venezuela because shit over there is crazy.

The situation in Venezuela is way more complicated than just socialism, you crazy head.

All in all, I do not appreciate being misquoted to further the ignorance of the right and to further divide our already divided, hurting country.

I also do not appreciate being put in the thumbnail without my consent because my appearance fits that of the “stereotypical hipster” narrative they’re trying to push.

So, if you or anyone else has the misfortune of finding this gross video, please be aware that there is more to the story and that video in no way reflects the complexity and fullness of my and my husband's point of view.

Moral of the story: don’t stop for street interviews.

[myinnerletters]

Dear Tal,

Tomorrows the last day of your internship. I thought i may have wanted to try think about getting back with you when you returned but i dont think so anymore. So much of your “Humour” seems more like ways to put me down. You said i didnt know when you were joking - perhaps you just straight up weren’t funny? Or what i think now is that you just slapped a big ol I WAS JOKIN YA DUMB DUMB when you said something that may have gotten you in trouble. Cause i was the one that “shot from the hip”, after one incident. In which i profusely apologised. Get over yourself, seriously. 

I feel like i wasted time. I feel like you’re good with words. To convince people to bend at your will to what you want. You sugar coat, and you say just the right thing. You come on strong and you treated me from the beginning like we were building a relationship. DIdn’t want to sleep wtih me early on because “you respected me too much” but then a week later you had done your due diligence. Calm down. Just fuck me and get on with it and stop pretending like you respect me or care.

Cause you dont. You stopped trying. You made it all on me. You kept trying to get me to open up, to fall for you, i was there for you. Through and through and you turned around and made it out like i was the one head over heals for you. Like you were doing me a service. 

You know, i liked you best when you werent putting on such a bravado? When I could see that there was a person in there who could care, who didnt want to have a different opinion just for the sake of it. The one who wasn’t trynna flex the law career, or being a doctor (WHICh doing a biomed degree does not make you a doctor), or flexing how much money, or what drugs you did, or acting that lifestyle that you SO desperately crave to be in. I liked you best when all the guards were down, when i could see a glimpse of a boy who didn’t care about all these things.

You made me think you were different from the pact. The way you acted at times, like things i had done were shameful. I dont regret not being in a relationship for the last 5 years. I’ve had shit ive been doing, i’m not gonna settle for someone whos not right for me. I felt judged when you asked if i slept with sam on the first date, does it matteR? When i decided to spend time with you instead of my dad? and yet you still joked about how i almost didnt chose you. You and your weird mind games.

I did like you. I did see a future. I also guess i was just enjoying the fact that i had feelings and that you treated me right (although again, i guess this is just what you do. You’re a business man through and through) I don’t agree with your politics. You dont agree with mine and thats fine. But we pretty much didn’t see eye to eye on anything, and i think in my heart of hearts my fear about your politics, and the fact that i couldnt let it go has all to do with a gut instinct that i knew deep down that it was wrong. That my fear that you would somehow be against my lgbtqia+ friends, that you felt weirdly uncomfortable.

Or the fact that you feigned support for me, but then said my show was weird? that you didnt understand why period equality was important or why it should be discussed. You thought so much of what i said was weird, was strange, i was nuts, whatever. I do say silly things, i said it to you then and ill say it to you now, no one things what im saying is nuts. You were the only one who made it out like i was speakinga nother language.

My show is not weird. I mean it is. But it helps change peoples lives. WHich is more than I can say about keeping up appearances so that you too can live in the cum dream that is the suit lifestyle. Men saw the show and thought it was great. they engaged with me after. they spoke about my fucking cycle with me. And about my period. and my endo. They didnt get weird like you.

I wish i could look back on our time now and enjoy it. i enjoyed having someone. I enjoyed speaking to you on the phone and dreaming of a future, that involved getaways and maybe i got a bit carried away. I liked that you made an effort. or that you bought flowers. I liked so much of it. But the way it deescalated, it feels like a farce. it feels like a prank. it feels like you did exactly what every other guy did and i feel silly for listening to you and believing you over everyone else.

why? i still see stuff that i want to tag you, but because i sent a video its all broken. And as i said, i liked what you offer but as people despite having that intense connection, we arent particularly compatible. I lost myself in you. I started to ignore what mattered to me and thats not cool either. Sitting in Women of the White house i thought if you were here youd get up, youd leave, youd tell me afterwards how unfunny it was. Youd probably call my friends nuts. And that was when i knew it wasnt gonna happen. 

I felt like you knew too. You didnt want to try anymore. I was somehow in your way, and i wasnt even asking all that much of you. i just needed to know that you were still thinking of me. that you still cared. I saw you on that last date and it was not good. I felt disconnected from you. you wanted me to finish my drink. You wanted to go home. but you didnt make me feel like you cared, and then we continued not to talk to each other. You didnt care. Its like you wanted me to break things off with you, but you were too chicken shit to do it before my show cause you didnt want me to fall apart. But i wasnt. you were nice when it lasted. thats it. youre not my everything, i wont fall apart without you. You didnt really add much to my life, just some affection and someone to share some stuff with who stopped caring.

I feel done. the idea of dating. of letting another person in right now, i dont want it. I dont want to get my hopes up anymore just to have them dashed. I built an idea of you and thats on me. But you strung me along, and you lied, and you said vaccuous things that meant nothing to get me on side. I dont want to date anymore. I dont think im supposed to. i dont know wha tthe rest of this year holds for me, but the idea of meeting someone, of putting myself out there. i just cant do it. you were good for my acting. you made me open up a bit and for that i thank you.

Im sure ill never hear from you again. i dont fit into your world, and you most definitely dont fit into mine. It is fucked that you just starting kind of ghosting me. literally cooked. 

also i can do without expensive things. they dont mean shit. human connection. decent human beings. thats what i value. not expensive meals or the fact that you dogged a trippy taco. like so what if you didnt like the food. this is becoming silly now. 

[viralhottopics]

Laurie Anderson: I see Lou all the time. Hes a continued, powerful presence

Over seitan and tofu in New York, the avant-garde performance artist talks about her Buddhism and loss and love for her mother and her late husband Lou Reed

Long after shes left, Ill still be thinking about Laurie Andersons pumpkin-coloured jacket. I see it through the window of the restaurant, this big daub of colour amid all the greys and blacks of a New York winter. Then that colour is inside and here, emerging from it, is Laurie Anderson 69 years old, small, sparkling and wide awake. Her hair, a spiky coronet, stands on end as if permanently electrified by the brain beneath. When shes smiling, which is most of the time, she looks even more impish. The jacket, this big fat orange thing, puffy to the point of spherical, should be plain absurd, but on her I cant help seeing it as extension of her own being. For decades, Anderson has been disarming us with searching and playful work that dovetails these same qualities: the spiritual and the silly. In the early 80s she was hailed as one of the most exciting figures in experimental art and she remains our foremost performance artist, inspiring something so often lacking in avant-garde work humour and affection. Thats certainly the tenor of her most recent work, Heart of a Dog, which the New York Times called a dreamy, drifty and altogether lovely movie. Narrated by Anderson and comprising animated drawings and old home video, its a roaming, looping consideration of various loves and losses: her dog, her mother, and her husband, the musician Lou Reed, who died in 2013. It opens with Birth of Lola, in which Anderson recounts, in detail, a dream about giving birth to her rat terrier. I imagine many women must feel that intense, bodily love for their pet yet its not exactly socially acceptable to admit to it.

Thats why its good to start a film or a book that way, she whispers. Just to kind of go right on out there.

Were in Blossom, a vegan mainstay where Anderson is a regular, even if she isnt, strictly speaking, vegetarian. I have been known to eat steak, she says, although it doesnt happen very often, especially not since she read her friend Matthieu Ricards book, A Plea for the Animals. Hes a Buddhist monk and writer, she says. He just demolishes every single argument that we have for eating meat.

We have a quick look at our meatless menu. I wonder what a soy bacon cheeseburger is! she says, amused. I might get that, it sounds ridiculous. Then again: Maybe theres something thats not pretending to be something else, lets see. They make seitan really well here, actually, I might have that.

And from processed wheat gluten, we somehow easily move to the topic of maternal love. Or lack thereof: in the film Anderson makes the calm revelation that she didnt love her mother. Its true, you know? she says. Women are meant to be all-loving, always no one else is, but women are. I think its even harder for people just to say, My mother didnt love me. Because then youre questioning the whole system.

Did her mother love her?

She was not someone who really knew how to do that, she says. She taught me other things. She taught me how to love books, music.

Anderson grew up in a small town in Illinois, with three sisters and four brothers and, after college in California, made her way to New York where she studied sculpture. By the 70s, shed found her tribe among the avant-garde artists of downtown New York. Her contemporaries included musicians such as Philip Glass and she began experimenting with technology and performance. None of us thought we would ever make a living doing art, she says.

Nor did she ever think she might become a pop star. O Superman, a stark, eight-minute track, based on a Massenet opera,, reached No 2 on the UK singles chart in 1981. To Andersons astonishment, a seven-album deal with Warner Brothers followed. The soundtrack to Heart of a Dog constitutes her 12th album.

And then here comes our lunch.

Oh wow, nicely done! she says, her face lighting up at the two little faux-hollandaise suns of my tofu Benedict. Her seitan isnt quite as pretty but, she assures me after a few forkfuls, its delicious. Food is important to her: I cook not as much as I used to. I used to make lunch all the time for the people at the studio. It was taking a huge chunk of the day so now I have someone else do it, but its really important for us at the studio to eat together.

She often talks about how her work is about stories, and what happens when they are told and retold, and I wonder about the stories around how a widow should grieve. Those stories must be compounded, I imagine, when youre the widow of a public figure. As Im saying this a look of blank confusion comes over her face. Its the word widow.

I know I am a widow but thats not my identity, she says. But it also wasnt my identity to be husband and wife although we were. Partner would be more what I thought.

Reeds death seems to have granted her not sadness so much as a kind of rapture. In an essay for Rolling Stone she wrote: I had gotten to walk with him to the end of the world. Life so beautiful, painful and dazzling does not get better than that. And death? I believe that the purpose of death is the release of love.

Those doors open maybe once in your life, she tells me, or if youre lucky, twice, and you get to see all this stuff. And that door will open again when you have to face your own death, but you get a chance to think about it and see it and feel it. Its overwhelming. It filled me with happiness. I wasnt prepared for that I was supposed to be grief-stricken. Instead, it was kind of an ecstatic experience, and it continues to be. It caused my world to open up, and I understood things or began to understand things in a different way.

Such as?

For example, were supposedly here eating lunch in some way, but were actually not here, right? and her smile grows wider in invitation. Life is a constant hallucination.

It doesnt surprise me that she speaks about Reed in the present tense.

Lou is the most wonderful person Ive ever met and I think of him all the time and hes completely inspiring to me. I miss him enormously, but theres no point in being sad. I see him all the time, hes always here, a continued, really powerful presence. I think a lot of other people feel the same way because he was such a strong character that just doesnt dissipate that quickly. I just wish I could hear what he would have to say about Trump. That would be something.

For her, the biggest shock of the US election was the misogyny.

People get swayed pretty easily to think what the so-called norm is. So when people are screaming lock her up [at Hillary Clinton] its so hideous. Or hang her I dont think people are outraged enough about that. Almost half the country talking that way.

She admits that this has been a challenge to her Buddhist practice: how do you find loving compassion for someone shouting sexist invective? And yet: I feel guilty what was I doing the last 20 years? Had I noticed that people had slipped out of the middle class? I was saying that to a friend about Trump supporters theyre just hungry. And she said, Yeah, but a lot of them are just assholes who just hate women. Dont try to make it so sweet.

I dont think, though, that Anderson can help that sweetness. Its part of her.

Particularly at the end of your life, she insists, theres always this idea of goodness, you never feel like you deserve it, and the fact is, you do. One of the things that blew Lous mind is the idea that were here to have a good time. Not to suffer. No, to be here for total joy, bliss.

And as we talk a little more about death I start to feel Im cocooned inside a big orange jacket a lifejacket, in fact.

The film and album Heart Of A Dog are out now on Nonesuch

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from Laurie Anderson: I see Lou all the time. Hes a continued, powerful presence