#i literally stopped reading in the middle of a sentence to come vomit this on here so i could continue reading free of the thought

[rapha-reads]

So I've decided to ignore sleep tonight (though it's already 6am so whatever), because several reasons I won't get into. Anyway I'm reading Prince Lestat and I am LOVING it. There is just so much lore?! So many new characters, fascinating characters?! A whole world of vampires whose stories are connected or totally not to the Coven of the Articulate?! There's just so much.

In my last post, about how I skipped quickly Blackwood Farm and Blood Canticle, I wrote that I was finding it academically fascinating to read several decades worth of an entire literature world in the span of a month only. To continue in this vein (pun intended), reading PL after having binge-read the original VC books is a deep dive into how history has sped up since the 80s.

I'm not just thinking about because I'm reading Gregory's chapter and that's what he's observing, and also because the changed world and what it means for vampire society ("the tribe", and how I adore that terminology) is the big main theme of this final trilogy. It's something I've been thinking about since TVL at least. How for how these novels pertain to the horror and the fantastic genres, they are also a mirror of the society and time during which AR was writing. And because she kept writing decade after decade, and kept observing the world around here, each new book is its own little observation about the early 80s, then late 80s, then first half of the 90s, second half of the 90s, and now we're right smack in the middle 2010s and these immortal characters are feeling the weight of this rapidly changing world.

And it makes me think of actual human beings born in the 40s or 50s, or even 60s, or my own grandfather born in 1931, and how, just like a lot of these vampires recounted in PL, they sometimes can't follow all the changes brought in the last three decades (the biggest thing is technology, intradiegetically Lestat himself saying he keeps forgetting how to use his smartphone, but extradiegetically, it's how AR writes "to go on the computer" and other phrases like that, that sounds weird to the ear of someone who's grown up with this tech). And AR was over 70yo when she wrote PL, so I'm imagining that she was also writing her own impressions of this 21st century world that she saw developing under her eyes.

And in light of all the historic events we live week after week these past handful of years only (the 2020s want to bury us), it's quite interesting to apply that way of thinking to our generation too (millenials and younger, the 80s-90s-early 00s kids). Saw a post earlier saying "do you think one day we'll get to live in precedented times", in answer to the classic "we're living in unprecedented times", and I think of how the VC are the stories of one handful of characters in a world full of other characters who are not or relatively not concerned by these big stories. And how the Coven of the Articulate is considered as legendary amongst the rest of vampiredom, while they themselves don't really realise their fame, or when they do, they reject it. And how in the actual world, there are still a huge percentage of the world population that's not concerned at all by things that here make us all go frothing at the mouth because "omg we're witnessing history". Yes, "we" are witnessing something that will appear in the history books, but it is so because we have decided to put ourselves in the narrative. So many people are not even caring a little bit about big news that seem so important to us, because their lives have other matters to care for. And it's not that they're wrong or we're wrong, it's not about that, it's mostly about how the rapid changes of the world in the 21st century has made a category of people (all ages all nationalities alike) the Main Character, concerned by the narrative and trying to control it or change it (voting, protesting, activism) while so many others are still going on about their lives as usual, maybe seeing the same things as the first category, using the same tools, but not seeing the connection between it and them (the "mavericks" as AR calls them), or others starting to realise and not knowing how to join the narrative (Antoine, Gregory), while yet others have picked up a whole other way of being part of the narrative while not being part of it (Fareed).

I don't know if that makes sense. Maybe I do need to go lay down for a couple of hours after all.

[stanknotstark]

Truth Serum

Hello everyone! My name is Amber and I’m not new to writing however I am new to actually posting my writing but recently I really got back into Loki with all the trailers dropping and stuff and I’ve had so many ideas crossing my mind so I figured I’d write some of my ideas out and post them here! Honestly this is my first time writing for Loki so he might be a bit OOC until I really get him under my buckle! This piece doesn’t have a lot of Loki in it because I’m also testing out writing with more than two people getting focus so I apologize in advance but I’ll probably write the 2nd piece tomorrow where Loki confronts ‘you’. Enjoy! Gif not mine!

You had just finished sweeping and mopping in Tony’s lab because there was glass on the ground. The only abnormal thing was that there was opalescent liquid in-between all the broken glass, your guess was that it must have been in some vial for safe keeping meaning you should have been careful. 

Should. Key word right there.

Realizing you had gotten some of the mystical liquid on yourself you quickly finished up cleaning then found Tony who was visiting with Steve in the living room. 

“Tony, Tony, Tony,” You incessantly said in a sing song voice as you approached, “Heya, Stevo.”

“Look there was a broken vial in your lab and you know I was down there for my blueprints and while cleaning said broken glass the liquid might have touched my skin....”

Tony frowned and Steve’s eyes widened and looked at Tony.

“Listen just tell me if I’m dying or not?”

Tony stood there staring at your face for another few seconds before you literally saw the realization hit him like a bus. Tony smiled.

“You know I’ve always had this question in the back of my brain since you said your blueprints were apparently....’Only meant for clearance level 10s’ I think I remember you saying...”

You frowned at Tony and shrugged, “I mean...no one is level 10 so don’t be offended...What does that have to do with this?”

“What exactly are those precious blueprints?”

You were going to give a witty remark but suddenly it was like word vomit and you couldn’t stop the next words from flowing out of your mouth, “They’re a new helmet I’m making for Loki that include audio, kinda like headphones, so he can listen to his favorite Mid-guardian books while on missions with us.”

Tony smirked which then turned into a full on smile before letting out a laugh. Steve looked at you with a confused puppy look on his face. You, unfortunately, realized what that liquid was.

“Tony I swear to God if that liquid I touched was a truth serum I’m literally going to castrate you!”

Tony, still laughing, put his hands up in a surrendering way and shook his head.

“I’m not the one that decided to clean up a mysterious liquid in my lab, of all places, without proper cleaning gear!”

At this point everyone in the room was looking at you three. Natasha and Clint were on one couch in the living room, Loki sat with his legs criss cross, back to the window overlooking NYC, and Wanda and Vision sat on the opposite couch from Natasha and Clint. The only two missing were Thor and Bruce. Much to your luck as you looked around at everyone, you realized they all overheard Tony because they all had mischievous smirks crossing their faces.

“STOP! I’ll answer questions BUT nothing too personal please...” You said putting on your best puppy eyes and giving an exasperated sigh. Surprisingly enough you looked at your crush, Loki, and saw he was the only one without a mischievous smirk, for once. He did however put down the book he had been reading and instead had a focused look on his face as he played with the green magic floating between his hands. No one else paid him any mind though.

“Who’s your favorite Avenger?” Natasha shot out leaning back into the couch with a smirk.

“Tony.”

“YES!” Tony shouted pumping a fist into the air.

“Why?” Natasha asked.

“Because he’s like a dad to me, not to mention he makes us really cool gear meaning I don’t have to slave away in the lab by myself anymore.” You rolled your eyes as you finished the sentence. Tony beside you pulled you into a gut crushing hug and said, “Awe, FRIDAY can you put up adoption papers on my computer in the lab and set a reminder to fill them out later today?” 

“Tony, stop, God, you’re embarrassing.” You pushed from his hug, blushing. 

“For some reason I’m not really surprised.” Nat said shrugging. 

You giggled and made your way to the middle of the room, taking a seat in an available love seat, Tony and Steve coming to stand behind it. 

Next Wanda sat up with an excited look on her face and asked, “Who do you think is the strongest Avenger?” 

Thor walked in and gave a hearty chuckle, “Me, of course!”

“No, actually, I think it’s a tie between you, Wanda, and Loki.”

“What, no no, surely you’re mistaken, dear?” Thor said now chuckling nervously.

Steve smiled over to him and shrugged, “No, Thor, she accidentally touched a truth serum, this is as honest as she’ll ever be buddy.”

“Why am I one of the strongest Avengers?” Loki asked, his hands still playing with the magic but his complete attention on you.

“Your magic may not be on Wanda’s par, at least what I know about it, but you’ve endured quite the amount of emotion grief and came out on top so I guess I see you as the strongest, emotionally...” You finished with a wince since it kind of aired out Loki’s dirty laundry and was a bit mushy if you were being honest. Loki hummed but went back to focusing on his magic. 

Thor frowned then a happy look over took his face, “Are you in love with anyone in the room?”

“Whoa!”

“Thor!”

“Wait, Thor!”

You laughed out loud and let the answer go freely, unconsciously glancing back to Loki who wasn’t looking at you but had a raised brow and seemed to only be half focusing on the green magic cloud in his hands, “Yes.”

“Thor buddy that’s a bit personal.” Tony said, an eyebrow raised in a disappointed dad sort of way. 

“My apologies!” Thor said making his way to the kitchen, “I hear a Poptart calling my name, perhaps a smores today.”

“Is it fair to say we may ask questions about this love interest considering it’s one of us?” Vision asked with a vexed look on his face. 

Loki cleared his throat and everyone gave him attention, “Perhaps we should keep that as a restricted topic considering she did say nothing too personal?”

You weighed the pros and cons in your head, while you were nervous for Loki to find out it was him maybe this was the way to get it out in the open. Lord knows you would take advantage of it considering every time you spoke with Loki nowadays you turned into a blabbering mess and tended to leave every conversation read in the cheeks from fluster and embarrassment. 

“I don’t mind you asking questions but don’t out right ask me his name.” You said deciding to get this over with. 

“Well we can cut out Natasha and Wanda then.” Tony said catching onto you saying him. “Reindeer games what on Earth are you doing anyways?”

Loki glanced at Tony and smirked, “Nervous?”

Tony frowned and backed up a bit, “You know, I wasn’t but I am now...”

Loki chuckled and went back to focusing on his magic flowing freely between his fingers and pulsing between his hands now, “Nothing that will harm anyone, Stark, don’t get your britches in a bunch.” 

You smiled at Loki then looked around at everyone, “Ok, hit me!”

“I know you said don’t ask a name but you did just say Tony was a father figure I was hoping you didn’t...” Clint started and ended softly with fear in his eyes.

Seeing as it wasn’t a full question you didn’t feel word vomit coming up but decided to play around with Clint since he never ceased to prank you all the time.

“I might have a daddy kink...” You said looking up at Tony, trying your best to give him a lustful look but couldn’t hold in your laughter when Clint started gagging, “No, Clint, it’s not Tony.”

You laughed a bit when you heard Tony let out a heavy sigh of relief. You then brought a hand up and covered your giggle when Clint said a tiny, “Oh thank god.”

“I swear, it better not be Vision, he’s mine!” Wanda said suddenly with wide eyes.

“Not vision.” You responded. 

You could feel Tony’s fingers behind you rhythmically tapping on the leather love seat, showing his growing impatience. 

“It’s not Steve, Tony.” You said trying to placate the man since he had told you in confidence that he was trying to find a good way to ask the man out. 

“You realize that only leaves Clint...and me, right?” Loki said with an unsure smirk. You gave the man a smile and stood up. Loki had finally finished playing with his magic, halfway through you realized what he had been doing seeing as you felt the truth serum slowly letting up in you. He had finally worked out the chemicals from your system and you were back to normal. 

“Unfortunately I’m not outright telling you all who it is, if you haven’t been paying attention to me recently that’s on you.” You said before heading towards the kitchen, Loki still smirking as he watched you walk away.

“I feel a smores Poptart calling my name too.” 

After you had disappeared Clint cleared his throat and looked at Loki, “It’s totally me, sorry i mean have you seen these guns, Loki? You have nothing on me.”

Loki chuckled and picked his book back up, “I think I have more to offer than you think Clint, but keep telling yourself it’s you if it helps that mortal brain of yours sleep at night.” 

[charleslovemustdie]

1, 19, 29, 73 (teehee), 84, and 100

HI CRICKY !!! ANSWER TIME

1. What’s your favorite way to pass time at home? 

the holy trinity of hobbies: drawing, reading, and watching shit. not a day i can't pass happily if i'm watching some fun movies and drawing some silly little guys and reading my silly little books

19. Describe one nice memory with your best friend

when i was watching ofmd with one of my best friends who may or may not be the same cunt who sent this ask and he got a fucking HBO max job in the middle of it. most insane shit to ever happen ever. like that's just on your resume FOREVER ?? thats the coolest shit you've ever DONE !!!!

29. What’s your favorite type of youtube videos to watch?

god i used to watch youtube SO much and i don't almost at all now. i fucking love video essays, though. the things i've watched the most recently have been video essays, some true crime cases, things i need for uni, science stuff for fun, and the various videos delly sends me.

everyone watch this NOW. most important creature EVER:

73. Are you in love? (if yes, describe the person)

oh you fucking loser asking me this lmfao. it's not him if anyone's wondering

yes. yeeesss i am. everyone who talks to me for any significant amount of time will find it out over and over again. she's my constant and my quiet and my fun. she's my bully and my biggest supporter. she's reading this right now cause i send her literally everything. she's gonna vomit her guts out at the end of the sentence. hi delly <3 i know i know i know don't type it. yeah you can leave me for paul i'm sure he's less disgusting. or nb if you want. you don't ? well i don't seem so bad then do i. yes i'm third-wheeling everyone with you right now. yes i'm gonna stop. get your fingers away from the puke emoji goddamnit. wanna play pokémon tomorrow ? see. you need me.

84. What’s the most beautiful place you’ve ever been?

probably the waterfall i saw on expedition in albania this year. absolutely fucking stunning. literally died on the hike there but sooo worth it

100. Tell me one random fact that comes to your head

don't ask me this. i'm gonna start ranting about the pumpkin toadlets and their tiny small little heads that aren't even big enough for them to have proper ears to give them balance when they jump. PLEASE watch the linked video

[headcanontheshitoutofsoulsborne]

Bloodborne Chain 2

Original prompt: The day of Laurence' transformation.

@mrslittletall

It was time for the usual morning mass and Laurence was feeling terrible.

In truth, he had felt terrible for a while now.

His body had been plagued with fevers that made him feel like he burned from the inside and he swore, sometimes it even felt like he managed to melt things he touched.

He was suffering from intense nausea that he couldn't stave off... sooner or later he would end up in front of the toilet, or any other receptacle he could reach in time, and vomit out whatever he had eaten prior. The worse thing however, was that the vomit was uncomfortably hot and he sometimes had the feeling that he was throwing up literal lava. Judging by how red it looked, it may have been true, but Laurence still desperately hoped that it was just blood. Which was more than unsettling in its own right, but would be a lot better than what he feared it was.

The last symptom and the one that made him absolutely sure about which sickness he was suffering from, was the hunger... the desire to bite into anything vaguely human shaped and the times in which he had wanted to dissect a corpse and found himself having stuffed a finger in his mouth... or worse.

His hands were concealed by gloves. It was usual for him to wear gloves anyway, but in this times and days, he never removed them, because of his prolonged finger nails that reminded him very much of claws.

It was more than clear for Laurence that he was infected with the beastly scourge, the plague that had befallen Yharnam all this years ago and he didn't know just how much time he had left.

However, his poor state wasn't a reason to neglect his duties and so he stood up on the gallery to hold the mass like every morning and recited the prayer, until he was at the last few verses.

“Remain wary of the frailty of men.

Their wills are weak, minds young.

Were it not for fear, death would go unlamented.”

Almost done. Laurence took a deep breath and raised his voice to speak once again.

“Bless us with-”

A sharp pain stopped his words and he clasped a hand at his chest, where his heart was. That... that never had happened before. At the same time, the nausea washed over him. Oh no, not here, not in the open, with all the citizens and all the church ministers watching him.

Already they stared at him, clearly confused why he had stopped. He couldn't... couldn't stay here. Clasping his other hand over his mouth, he turned around to run... only managing a few steps before his body forced him to throw up right where he was, hot reddish vomit seeping through his fingers and hitting the floor with a sizzle.

“Vicar, what was that?”, he heard a voice next to him, one of the church ministers. More voices joined in soon.

“Your grace, did you just...?”

“...That looked like blood...”

“Are you feeling alright? Should we prepare a blood ministration?”

Laurence didn't feel ready to speak. He had the feeling when he opened his mouth, that the rest of his breakfast would make it out. He raised a hand, the one that wasn't clasped over his mouth and dismissed them. He didn't need any help. He just needed to be alone.

Before anyone could say something, Laurence was making a beeline to his office, shutting the door behind him with a loud noise and then... vomited out the rest of his breakfast into a bucket he had positioned there just for this case. I was filled with a little bit of water, to cool down the far too hot vomit. Even now he could see how the water in the bucket started to steam.

After he was done, Laurence wiped his forehead. The fever was back. He took a few steps back and then practically fell into his chair that was lined up with his desk. His breathing was slow and heavy and he needed a few minutes to even think about pouring himself a glass of water and washing the bad taste in his mouth away.

He looked down at his desk, where his notes were strewn everywhere. How long had he worked last night? Desperately trying to find a cure that he hadn't managed to find for years? Laurence removed his gloves and looked at his hands, seeing that his fingernails had prolonged even more over the night.

How much time had he left? Weeks? Days? Hours maybe?

He raised his head and got up, stepping in front of a mirror that was standing in his office. The claws were not the only clue. He could see the fangs, when he bared his teeth, small, but they were there, as well as his left eye which had started to collapse. One of the earliest signs of the scourge.

His gaze wandered to his door. After what happened just now, he shouldn't let himself be seen like that. He went to his door and turned the key in the lock, letting it stick before going back to his desk, where he sat down with a frustrated sigh and started to sort through his notes. As long as he still had time, he at least had to try. He wouldn't succumb to the scourge that easily.

As Laurence sorted his notes, his hand brushed against a certain item. He picked it up and stared at it.

A failed experiment from the early days of the Healing Church. A rune with which they had tried to control the beastly scourge, to at least let these people remain their humanity, if not their form. He knew that it was futile. The rune wouldn't help him, it would probably simply speed up his transformation.

Why did he have it still here? He didn't know. Maybe he had tried to base the cure around it. Laurence didn't remember. His memory was often hazy nowadays and so he brushed the rune to the side, instead reading up on the notes he must have worked on yesterday evening.

There must be a base to start somewhere. He only needed to find it. Wishing to be able to better concentrate, Laurence hooked himself up on a blood ministration. He would need the focus.

He almost missed the knock on his office door.

That Laurence had suddenly left the gallery mid prayer had been a cause of concern for Ludwig. He knew that Laurence hadn't been feeling well lately, as hard as he tried to hide it, but that had been the first time he had actively run away before having spoken out the adage to its end.

While everyone else present was starting to leave after a brief confusion, either going to their shops, workplaces or starting their duties in the church, Ludwig made his way up to the gallery, where he found the church ministers in the middle of a heated discussion.

“Excuse me, what happened here?”, Ludwig raised his voice to drown out their argument. “Where is Vicar Laurence?”

“Ah, Sir Ludwig, we were discussing this just now.”, one of the church ministers replied, while several others stared at Ludwig, making him feel like a whole row of eyes stared at him. “He seemed to be in pain and then threw up... it looked like blood.”

Ludwig had shouldered his holy moonlight sword as usual, but when he heard that, his grip around tightened and his eyes widened. “He did WHAT?! Why has nobody followed him?”

“He gave us a sign that he would be fine and you know how he is.”, the church minister said. “He would have just sent us away. We were actually just discussing how we could approach him about the issue, because...”

The church minister pointed at the ground and Ludwig could see that there was clearly a hole burned in the ground, an acidic smell coming from it.

“Is that where he...?”, Ludwig asked and before he could finish his sentence, the church minister nodded.

“Yes, where he threw up.”, they finished for Ludwig.

“That's not good... it's literally burned. I will go and try to talk to him. You stay here. Don't do anything withOUT my approval.” Ludwig waited until all of the church ministers gave him a bow and then made his way to Laurence' office with an uneasy feeling in his stomach.

As he stood in front of it, he took a deep breath and then knocked at the door. “Laurence? I am going to come in.”, he said and tried to turn the handle, only to notice that the door was locked. “Laurence? Open the door, please.”

Laurence froze as he recognized the voice outside the door. The voice of Ludwig. Ludwig was the last person Laurence wanted to have in his office right now. He was a Hunter. He would recognize the signs, the signs that Laurence successfully had hidden from Ludwig for so long, by having him pushed away and shut out, a behaviour that he still didn't know why Ludwig tolerated it. He had been horrible to him and still, Ludwig would come and just tell him that it was alright, he would wait until Laurence felt better.

Only that Laurence knew he wouldn't get better, not when he wouldn't find a cure. So Laurence raised his voice and said: “I am fine, Ludwig, I am busy. Just go away. Please leave me alone.”

Ludwig couldn't come in and see him, he would notice the collapsed eye, the fangs, the prolonged fingernails. He would be forced to kill Laurence at the spot, as was the rule for church hunters, no one infected was to be left alive, but Laurence didn't want to force Ludwig to do this. Especially not when he had failed to make Ludwig hate him. Why had his boyfriend to be so kind and understanding?

“Laurence, I have been considerate with you for weeks now.”, Ludwig said. “I know you aren't feeling well and that you don't want much company, but... you have thrown up blood today at the morning mass. Blood that was hot enough to burn a hole in the ground. Laurence, whatever it is, that ails you, you don't have to go through this alone. Please, let me help you.”

Laurence felt a sharp stab in his chest at his words. This time it hadn't been from the scourge. He knew it was because Ludwig would be willing to stay with him and help him out and he wished so much that he could get into his arms and confess everything to him, but Laurence knew that he couldn't.

He couldn't let Ludwig know. He had to try and use all the time he had for finding the cure. How much he wished to just tell Ludwig the truth, he could, he just had to open the door and leave him in and confess about his ailment to him, but... he couldn't. Ludwig was the most loyal hunter of the church. He wouldn't stop because it was Laurence and Laurence knew that the action would break his heart.

“This none of your business.”, Laurence said, as cold as he could manage, even though he felt hot tears drop down his face. Not as hot as his vomit, but still hot enough to steam when they dripped on the ground. “Leave me alone. You can't help me.”

“Laurence, please.” Oh, Laurence just hated how pleading Ludwig's voice was. “You haven't been yourself lately. Please let me help you. I want to help you, but how can I help you when you don't let me be part of your life?”

More tears forced their way out of Laurence' eyes as he got up and walked towards the door and extended a hand, leaving it on the handle. He just had to unlock it and let Ludwig in and... no, he couldn't. He shook his head and sank down in front of the door, with his back to it.

“I... I can't...”, he sobbed, not being able to hold his tears back. “I just... can't...”

“Laurence, are you crying?!”, Ludwig shouted and frantically tried to turn the handle, several clicking noises proofing that his efforts were fruitless. “Let me in, Laurence, please.”

“No.”, Laurence said, his voice coming out strained. He took a deep breath and then shouted: “Just leave me alone and don't come back!”

“...”, there was an audible silence in front of the door. “I can't force you to open the door...”, Ludwig said and he must have removed his hand from the handle, because it went back to its original position. “But I won't leave you alone either. Just... please tell me what's wrong. Please, Laurence, just give me a <i>chance.”</i>

Laurence didn't reply as he got up, gaze on the ground, wiping away the fresh tears in his face.

<i>If I let you in, you have to kill me.</i>

The unspoken words hung in the air. Laurence couldn't bring himself to say them. He also couldn't bring himself to tell Ludwig to leave him alone anymore.

“Sir Ludwig, there have been beast sightings at the outer rim of cathedral ward!”, a hurried voice sounded, not belonging to Ludwig obviously.

“In broad daylight?! They are getting more and more brash.”, Ludwig gasped. “Laurence, I have to go, but I will come back and then I want for you to talk to me.”

There was around half a minute of silence before Laurence could hear footsteps that moved away from the door. Soon, they faded and Laurence took one step towards his desk, when the pain from earlier hit him again.

With a cry, he fell to his knees, doubled over in pain. This pain certainly was worse than earlier, he felt like he got ripped apart from the inside. Alongside the pain, he felt an itching sensation on his head, so much that he wished he could move and scratch his scalp open. It continued until the itching sensation became a new wave of pain, so intense as if something, anything wanted to force its way out of Laurence' head.

He spent a small eternity in this agonizing pain when it stopped as sudden as it had started. Breathing heavily, Laurence got up on his knees, staring at the splotches of blood on the floor, already sizzling into the carpet. He raised a shaky hand to touch his face and found blood. He couldn't remember getting injured, had he self harmed in his pain?

He slowly got up on his feet and limped to the mirror in his office, stopping before he even was in front of it. He didn't need to come closer to see what was wrong as his hand shot upward to confirm what he saw.

Antlers. He had grown some antlers, that now adorned his head, a thin stream of blood accompanying the place where they had forced their way through.

“I might have less time than I thought...”, Laurence gasped as he went a few shaky step to his desk and let himself fall down on his chair.

He could as well use this time and try to see if he at least managed to find a base for the cure. If he would transform and had to die anyway, he wouldn't just take it with his head bowed, he would scream and fight against it.

So Laurence straightened himself up, took a deep breath and then started to work.

An hour or two later, Laurence had scattered a variety of documents over his desk. Ideas where the beastly scourge came from. The first idea and the one he had followed the longest had been that it escaped the labyrinths. They had seen beasts down there and it felt like the most logical thing, that after they got unsealed, the sickness that was responsible for the beasts in there would be able to come out.

Though, they never had learned how the people down there had transformed...

Another idea had been that it was the fault of the vilebloods, but that couldn't be. As much as Laurence loathed, the beastly scourge had been there before the vilebloods had come into Yharnam and it didn't vanish once the executioners had been done with their job. The vilebloods had been beasts of their own, but that was a thing that Laurence couldn't blame on them.

A third theory, a theory that Laurence always had dismissed immediately, was that maybe the blood could be at fault. That instead of getting them closer to ascension, that humans would regress and that was the cause of the beastly scourge. Laurence had tested the blood rigorously and had been sure that it wasn't the case, but.. right at the moment he was staring at the newspaper story about Old Yharnam.

He remembered that night far too well. Finally having acquired enough umbilical cords to summon a Great One, one of the ascended, he had stepped outside and done the ritual, seeing as the Great One came from the moon. He had stepped forwards to ask her his questions, when Gehrman suddenly appeared and said something to the Moon Presence... and that had been the last time Laurence had seen Gehrman.

Shortly after, the worst hunt that had ever happened took place. Almost everyone in Old Yharnam had transformed. It had to be the influence of the moon, Laurence thought, as he stared out of the office of his window during that night, seeing the blood red moon in the sky.

In the end, Old Yharnam had to be burned down and sealed shut before the beasts would spread into the other parts of the town. Shortly after it happened, the blood red moon vanished and the longest hunt ever had been over... and Laurence had come out of it as a broken man, even though he didn't let it shine through.

Now that he looked at the article again, he noticed something. The article mentioned the sickness that had ailed Old Yharnam during that time.

Ashen Blood... in truth it had been a poisoning caused by the church. It hadn't been exactly on purpose, but the Old Yharnam citizens had been stubborn and when Laurence had learned that the poison of their research had leaked into the groundwater, he hadn't ordered for them to stop, instead he had brought the holy blood to Old Yharnam, to cure all these people and sold them on the holy blood.

A large amount of people had gotten the blood at the same time.

A large amount of people had transformed into beasts at the same time.

How could he have been so blind?!

Laurence shot up and practically ripped his current blood ministration out of his arm, a small stream of blood running down his arm, the wound closing shortly after, the healing effect of the blood taking action.

Laurence cleaned his arm from the blood and continued to think. That couldn't have been the only cause. There must have been a second cause. Not everyone who took the blood transformed. He himself had taken the blood almost daily for years and he was transforming only now.

Maybe it really was the moon...

Whatever it was, the blood certainly was one of the causes. Of course they could prevent further cases by ceasing to use the old blood, but that would be difficult.

Yharnam was reliant on the old blood. The whole town was based around it. If he would take it away, then the whole town would collapse. He would need a lot more time to figure out who to take the blood away from Yharnam.

The safest bet would be a cure, then they could keep using the blood without fearing the side effects...

Laurence sighed as he noticed that his train of thoughts involved the future, a future that he certainly wouldn't live to see anymore.

Though... with one of the causes figured out, he had a base to at least start. He leaned over his desk to search for a few more documents when the pain came back and this time it was paralysing. He fell down with his chair and convulsed on the ground for what felt like it was a really long time, paired with the same itchy sensation he had felt earlier, paired with an intense pain in his arm.

When the pain ended, he was lying there, gasping for air. It took him a few minutes to get up again. As he looked down on his hands as he propped himself up, one of them wasn't human anymore.

He could see long claws coming out from far too long fingers, the whole hand covered in shaggy fur and as his gaze followed his arm, he could see that it extended to it. His whole left arm had transformed into something so utterly inhumane that he wanted to retch.

Instead he walked the few steps to the couch and flopped onto it, cursing when he bumped his new antlers and then staring at the ceiling.

With the realization earlier about the old blood being one of the causes for the beastly scourge, his initial thoughts had been about how to handle this whole mess.

Now that his own transformation had completed another step, he had become aware that he had doomed Yharnam.

“All I wanted to do was help...”, he murmured, surprised that his voice still sounded human instead of beastly screeches leaving his throat. “I just wanted to help...”, he repeated, as if he wanted to convince a listener that wasn't there.

If only he had thrown the blood away once Master Willem had warned him about it. He probably owed the old man an apology. An apology that he would never be able to speak out. Was the old geezer even still alive?

As Laurence stared at the ceiling, he thought about all the friends he once had and had lost one way or the other, but almost all of them had left his life related to the old blood.

Caryll, who refused to study the old blood and had stayed in Byrgenwerth for their own studies about conversing with the Great Ones.

Maria, one of the best hunters he had ever seen, who got so disgusted with her own actions that she had chosen to take her life instead of living on with the guilt. She had been one of the most vehement defenders of the theory that the blood could have been at fault.

Gehrman, the first Hunter that Laurence had ever employed, the one he had lost to the Moon Presence. No, he had lost him earlier even, when his heart broke into a thousand pieces after Maria's suicide.

Micolash, his best friend and rival, who had become more and more recluse, stopped helping Laurence with the blood ministrations altogether and vanished one day to never be seen, but Laurence knew about a group that was antagonistic to the Choir and while he himself didn't fully trust them himself, the only person in charge of a group that would be able to mess with the Choir was Micolash.

Only Ludwig was left... and Amelia, his adopted daughter and future Vicar, and he had done his best to push both of them away in the last weeks. Especially Ludwig. That Ludwig still wanted to speak to him, baffled Laurence, he had been nothing but an asshole to him lately.

Laurence let out another deep sigh as he rubbed over his forehead, with the far too large beastly hand, feeling hot and sweaty. He could stay here and self loathe until he ran out of time... or he could get up and write down what he had found out so that Amelia and his church ministers could continue his research.

The most important thing would be to wean Yharnam from the blood. Laurence slowly got up. He had to make peace with the fact that he would die soon, maybe he already had made it, but he at least didn't want to leave Yharnam to ride into its certain doom.

It was difficult getting back to his desk. His vision seemed to swim and blur in front of him. Had he gotten up too quickly? No, it was the advanced transformation.

Just as Laurence had sat back down and straightened a piece of paper, taking up a pen to write down his last will, there was a knock on his door.

He froze briefly, asking himself if Ludwig had come back already? If, he would just send him away again. He needed to write his last will and after that... well, he probably would surrender and let himself be taken out before he became a danger to the church.

It wasn't Ludwig however. The voice outside of the door belonged to one of the highest ranking church ministers.

“Your grace, open the door. We have reasons to believe that you have been afflicted by the beastly scourge. As sad as this observation makes us, you know our rules and there can't be an exception, not even for you.”

Pinpoint the cancer and rip it out of Yharnam... Laurence remembered his own words about the matter.

Laurence opened his mouth to speak, to tell them that he would come to them later, that he needed to be alone now, but he was shaken by a horrible coughing fit. There even seemed to come smoke out of his throat... They certainly couldn't see him, when they would see him like this, they would execute him right away and he couldn't let that happen.

Couldn't they have discussed for half an hour more? All these boring meetings and today of all days they came to a conclusion early.

“Vicar Laurence, if you won't open the door, we will have to break it down. If you have nothing to hide, you will be able to open the door just fine, won't you?”

Damn. Laurence glared at the door, cursing his church minister in his mind with a dozen profanities in the span of a few seconds. He cleared his throat and finally managed to speak.

“I wish to be alone right now. I have urgent business to attend to and it can't wait only because of your outrageous accusations. I will make time for you later.”

So that they could execute him... Laurence cringed at the thought, but the church ministers didn't take his words. Of course, what had he expected? If he hadn't anything to hide, he could have just opened the door.

“Break the door down.”, the church minister ordered and Laurence knew that they had a hunter with them, probably multiple. He stared for a few seconds as the door got repeatedly knocked with a blunt object and only when it started to splinter he stared down at his still very blank last will.

In his panic, he wrote down the first thing that came to his mind.

“Fear the old blood.”

Just as he had finished writing, the door burst open and he could see a dozen church ministers as well as a few hunters out there. They stared as much as him as he stared at them.

His appearance was proof enough that he indeed had been afflicted with the beastly scourge.

“Vicar Laurence, you are hereby under arrest!”, the church minister announced in a clamorous voice and Laurence could see how the hunters stormed inside his office.

“Wait!”, Laurence said, both hands in the air, showing that he wasn't armed. The hunters stopped and looked at him, the church minister behind them having scrunched up his face.

“Don't show mercy just because he used to be our vicar.”

Speaking in the past of him, right in front of him. Laurence didn't had time to be offended though, he needed to tell them.

“Please listen to me!”, he said and then his world seemed to stop as his heart skipped a beat and the pain came back full force, in such a force that he couldn't speak anymore, only scream... a scream that didn't even sound human anymore.

From the corner of his eye, he could somehow see how the hunters started to move in his direction again. Laurence brushed over his desk... where was it.. his last will had been just in front of him, but which paper was it? It must be the one with fresh ink, but... he couldn't find anything with wet ink... instead, his hand closed around a small object.

It was the rune. Beast's Embrace. In the back of his mind he knew this was a bad idea. It had never succeeded before, but maybe it would help him regain his sense for long enough so that he could tell them about the dangers that the old blood possessed and how to handle Yharnam after his death.

Laurence embraced the rune with his beastly hand and concentrated on the arcane prowess inside of it... feeling how his pain eased down at first, he already was opening his mouth to speak, when his whole body felt like it would burst.

<i>Failed.</i>was the last conscious thought Laurence ever had, when his bones shifted and his veins popped, rearranging his body in a way that should be physically impossible. He heard how his clothes ripped open when he started to grow, he could feel the itching sensation of fur covering his skin accompanied by a blinding pain. Laurence couldn't see anything anymore, he only heard some shouting in the distance. He wanted to open his mouth to scream, but only a garbled screech came out of it as Laurence realized that his face had twisted into a snout with a row of razor sharp teeth.

He was crouched on the floor, with a claw on his hand... hissing because of the pain... He could smell blood... his blood... It hurt so much, so very very much... But, there was the smell of flesh... human flesh and he felt hungry... so very very hungry... maybe the flesh would help him ease the pain.

He took a step towards a smell and felt a new pain, sharp and annoying, at his leg and when he looked down he saw his attacker. He raised his hand and flattened them in an instant, the sweet smell of blood filling the air. He raised his hand to look at it, the urge to lick the blood clean of it strong, when a second sharp pain hit him.

Growling, he stepped forwards, glaring at the ones in front of him. He rose to his full height and let out a blood curdling screech, as he raised both of his arms into the air and then his fur ignited into fire.

He had to feast... that would stop the pain... it would stop the hunger... he had to hunt them down! With a second screech, he lunged at the first human that was dumb enough standing in front of him.

Once Ludwig returned to the church, it was on fire. With a gasp, he jumped off Midnight, his horse, and ran towards the entrance, stopping when he saw a black robed church hunter stare fearfully at the church.

“Hunter! What happened? Why is the church on fire? Why aren't you helping with evacuating?”

“Sir Ludwig, thank the blood that you returned! It's Vicar Laurence. He... turned. He had the scourge and hid it and now he is the most gigantic beast I have ever seen. He already has killed and devoured a dozen black robes! It was him who ignited the church, he's literally on fire! He's... he's out of control!”

The church hunter took a few steps back after his rant and took a deep breath before he fell down to his knees and... seemed to pray. Ludwig could hear how he called for the aid of the Great Ones, faintly, when his own mind raced.

He had heard them, the words of the black robe. He had been very clear about it. Laurence had turned... his Laurence did have the beastly scourge, the one he loved more than anything in the world, the one who had done his damn hardest to not let Ludwig be part of his life for the last few weeks.

<i>Oh!</i>

It had been so obvious, but Ludwig had decided to ignore him.

Laurence always had eaten his food without saying a word, but had vanished shortly after and often Ludwig had seen him come out of the bathroom wiping his mouth.

He did have increasingly fevers, sometimes they seemed to be getting so worse that he felt like he was on fire.

He never had taken off his gloves.

He had stopped to see Ludwig altogether for the last three weeks, telling him that he was busy and not feeling well and didn't want to get his ailment to spread to him because the holy blood had troubles with healing it.

“Laurence... why haven't you told me...?”, Ludwig said, tightening his grip around his holy moonlight sword before he rushed into the church. Even though he knew that the black robe didn't have any reason to lie, even though he had seen the signs, signs that his past self had ignored, a part of him still wouldn't believe that it was Laurence after he had seen him with his own eyes.

Inside the church, there was chaos. Smoke, flames and rubble. Ludwig covered his mouth and nose with his shawl and approached a group of black robes that tried to free a trapped blood saint from a column that must have fallen on her leg.

Ludwig easily lifted the column and after the blood saint had been safely pulled out, he grimly said: “Where?”

With a shaking hand, one of the black robes pointed deeper into the church. Another one added in a low voice: “Follow the flames...”

Ludwig was doing exactly that.

He actually did find a beast inside the church, in one of the conference rooms where it was busy trashing chairs and tables. The black robe hadn't lied, that was the tallest beast he had ever seen. Easily seven meters or more.

Knowing how small and scrawny Laurence was, Ludwig barely could believe that the beast could be him.

The beast was literally on fire. It wasn't because someone had ignited it, it's fur possessed a fiery quality on its own. When it screeched, a sound that made Ludwig cringe and wince, he could see burning hot magma gathering in its throat.

The left hand was mutilated into a giant claw, far larger than the right claw. The snout was filled with a row of razor sharp teeth and a set of large antlers grew out of its head.

In the corner of his eye, Ludwig saw two black robes approaching the beast, their weapons raised while the beast was distracted smashing and igniting another chair, but the moment their attacks connected with its rear, it stopped and turned around.

Ludwig had never been faster to join a fight, his holy moonlight sword blocking a hit of that immensely large left claw. The force was enough to even knock him several feet back.

“Leave!”, Ludwig ordered the black robes. “Help with evacuating the church! I handle things here!”

The two of them were on their feet in an instant and ran towards the direction of the grand cathedral, while Ludwig eyes his foe.

Could that really be Laurence?

There was a glimmering of gold in front of the chest of the beast.

Ludwig's eyes widened as he recognized what it was.

The Vicar's pendant... Laurence would always wear it, every single day. There was no doubt.

“Laurence...”, Ludwig choked out, feeling tears form in his eyes, tears that didn't had time to spill, because Laurence used his moment of hesitation to hurl him into the next best wall.

Ludwig was blinded briefly by pain as one or two of his bones cracked. He slammed a blood vial into his tight and stood up again, he was the captain of the church hunters. He was used to receiving injuries like this. Nothing that the blood couldn't handle.

...Laurence had always said this.

Upon seeing that his prey had escaped him, Laurence screeched and his large claw came rushing down once again on Ludwig. Ludwig stepped to the side, a technique that Gehrman had taught him. A technique that each Hunter should master, or they wouldn't stand a chance against the beasts they fought.

“Laurence...”, he said again, now feeling the tears in his eyes spilling. “You aren't recognizing me anymore, do you..?”

No, of course not. Nobody had ever come back after transformation. There was only one thing Ludwig could do right now.

Give him a swift death.

Ludwig dodged another swipe of that large claw and propelled his sword into Laurence' right leg. He screamed in pain and... what sounded like frustration.

Ludwig removed his sword and saw far too hot blood gushing out of the wound, igniting the carpet around them.

“You didn't want for it to be me...”, Ludwig murmured to himself as he circled around Laurence, who growled and spluttered at him. Ludwig had always thought that the beasts still looked a tiny bit human. It was no different with Laurence, as grotesque as his body had become, the way he still kept himself upright on two feet and the way he mostly used his claws for attacking... it was one of the most uncanny things about being a hunter. The knowledge that once this wretched abomination had been a human.

It was different when it was his own lover and the head of the church though.

“You didn't want that I had to kill you.”, Ludwig finished his thought. “I would love to make it painless for you, but...”

Ludwig's voice trailed off as he was unable to finish the sentence. He knew that he had to strike Laurence down, he knew that he had to inflict a mortal injury on him to stop his rampage, but... it felt so hard to take the next step. Ludwig looked down at his arm and saw that he was trembling.

That had never happened before.

The arm holding his sword was trembling.

Next thing Ludwig felt was an intense pressure around his chest as Laurence' claws enclosed around his body and lifted him up in the air.

Ludwig stared at Laurence' face.. the face that wasn't his boyfriend's anymore. That was the face of a beast. A beast that would kill anything that crossed its path. A beast that was a danger. For the church, for Yharnam. A beast that had to be taken out.

As Laurence opened his mouth Ludwig wrestled his right arm free of his grip and then drove the sword deep into the open maw of him.

A garbled screech was to hear. Ludwig tried to shove the blade even deeper inside, but get hurled against the wall before he could even properly grab it. This time he had been prepared however and managed to endure the impact with minimum damage.

Laurence was howling in pain, bringing both claws up to his snout, fumbling for the sword stuck in his maw. Ludwig rolled himself up and put a safe distance between him and Laurence, as he managed to remove the sword and hurled it towards the same wall Ludwig had impacted with, blood gushing out of the wound. Blood that looked a lot more like lava.

Ludwig's feet carried him over to the place where his sword had landed. He grabbed for it and as his hands enclosed it, he could see the little lights. His guiding moonlight.

“My guiding moonlight... are you sure about this?”, he said, but he didn't have a reason to not believe its guidance. It always had been right. Ludwig turned around and looked at Laurence, who, in the meantime, had recovered from the pain, blood seeping out of his mouth as he growled in Ludwig's direction.

As he saw how Laurence set up for a lunge, he took the holy moonlight sword with both hands and directed it towards Laurence. He concentrated on the little lights and he was sure about it, they guided him towards a specific strike.

As Laurence executed his lunge, Ludwig ran towards him, following the little lights, jumping in the air shortly before Laurence' large claws let the ground shake and while Laurence was open, he rushed down and drove his sword into his skull, right where his eyes normally would have been.

He could hear the skull cracking as Laurence shrieked in pain. Ludwig landed on the ground, a hand still on his sword as Laurence started trashing around. Ludwig held on for dear life until Laurence laid on the ground, exhausted. Ludwig used that time to remove his sword, wincing in pain as far too hot blood gushed over him and made his skin blister. As long as Laurence was still stunned on the ground, he had to act quickly. Ludwig took a big swing with his sword and let it crash down on the wound.

Laurence cracked skull broke with an audible sound and he twitched for a few seconds.

Then, he stopped moving altogether.

Ludwig slowly approached Laurence. He didn't appear to be breathing anymore. It was over.

All the adrenaline of the fight left him at once. He felt tears streaming down his face. He collapsed on his rear, vaguely aware that the fire the room was coated in wouldn't stop burning and he likely would be reduced to ashes soon if he didn't move.

Nothing of it mattered to him in the moment however. He itched closer to Laurence' dead body, hugging the giant beastly skull, not caring that his burns got even worse as his tears freely fell down and produced steam on Laurence' still hot body.

“Oh, Laurence...”

@palepious

@thefatladysang All the Channels of the City Streets

The sun blazes before them, its visage cracked and marred by the stark outline of the tree branches, bare of all leaves save for those foolish enough to try and cling to the long dead branches. Against the light, Ludwig narrowed his eyes, squinting at the figure before him.

“He doesn’t understand, you see?” the figure says and Ludwig nods in reply.

“I know. Were it up to Provost Willem, the Old Blood would never see the light of day.” The figure nods and lets out a snort of annoyance at the mere mention of the Provost.

“The old fool is sorely mistaken. The Old Blood is meant to be feared or restricted.” He turns, facing the woods and the city beyond them. “The power to cure the sick, heal the wounded, alleviate the suffering of others…” He pauses and Ludwig finds himself breathless at the sheer generosity and selflessness of the man’s vision. A better life for the common man, a hopeful future for those who had none… His back is turned towards Ludwig, but the other man knows that his exhilaration and hope mirrored on the other’s face.“This was a miracle meant to be shared with Yharnam. Not hidden away in Byrgenwerth for the rest of eternity. I don’t see how Willem could be so blind to the good it could do.” Ludwig nods, despite the fact that the man cannot see his agreement. The man turns, the burning rays of dying sunlight framing his youthful face and bright green eyes as full of hope and exaltation as Ludwig had imagined it would be and he finds himself breathless in the face of such beauty once again. “You’ll join me, won’t you?” There’s no hesitation in Ludwig’s answer.

“Of course.”

“You won’t betray me?”

“By your side, I will happily remain.”

And so they left, heading westward towards the burning sun, towards Yharnam, towards their vision of the future…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The afternoon sun climbed higher above Yharnam, occasionally filtering through the heavy clouds and into open windows to warm the inhabitants within and flitting over the hunched form of Ludwig as he trudged through the candlelit halls of the vicarage. Hunts were never easy and last night had been no exception. Whatever plague had birthed the beasts seemed to be spreading as the days went on. More and more beasts were popping up in the city and Ludwig couldn’t help but wonder if there would ever be an end to them. He and his men had found four stalking the streets earlier and they’d had to pull no less than two away from an older, obviously ill man unfortunate enough to have been caught without shelter. It was the thought of the long limbed and uncannily thin man’s gratitude, his wide smile and look of relief as Ludwig and his hunters had rallied to his aid had been worth everything; worth every sore muscle, worth every imaginary pound of weight in his limbs, worth every twinge of exhaustion after nights filled with more and more hunting and less and less sleep.

That being said… he thought as he came to a halt before a small but ornate looking door. It’s not only the Hunters who have been kept busy… His fist tightened around the medallion emblazoned with the crest of the Healing Church clutched within, It had been a token of gratitude from the older man, an attempt to repay the Hunters for their services. He’d claimed that it was the most valuable thing he owned, that he’d etched and engraved the image himself, and that it might fetch a fair bit of coin. The very idea of selling it was enough to make Ludwig scowl as he raised a gloved fist, knocked on the door and was met with only silence. He tried again. Still no reply. It was only with the third knock that the sound of irritated grumbles and the creaking sound of a body vacating a bed reached his ears. Good. He was finally awake. The heavy door inched open and Ludwig was greeted with a steely glare and tousled blonde hair that seemed to glow golden in the flickering light of the hallway candles.

“What do you want?” Laurence grumbled and Ludwig couldn’t help but give the rumpled looking Vicar a fond smile.

“Do I need a reason to visit an old friend, Laurence?” The man’s eyes narrowed further as the door began to close in Ludwig’s face. Apparently a reason was required. Luckily, Ludwig had one. He reached out to catch the door and Laurence sighed rather impatiently. “I met a man in the city during the Hunt earlier. His name is Alban Kent.”

“And?”

“He’s very ill and in great need of blood ministration.” Laurence blinked once, then twice as a shade of incredulity began to mingle with the impatience on his features.

“You’ve disturbed my rest to tell me that?” He practically hissed the words out and while Ludwig’s smile remained tense, it remained in his face nonetheless.

“It’s nearly noon Laurence! Surely you haven’t been sleeping all this time!” He boomed out a laugh as though the two were sharing a simple joke between friends. Laurence did not join in his laughter and Ludwig’s guffaws eventually died down as he looked, really looked at the man before him; his mussed hair, the dark circles beneath his eyes, the rumpled bed shirt, the fact that he was still wearing a bed shirt at this hour. “Have you been sleeping all this time?” Laurence sighed, closing his eyes and shaking his head as though trying to dislodge the conversation itself.

“Very well.” He muttered. “Next time you see this “Alban Kent,” kindly inform him that he’s been granted entry through the Great Bridge to the Cathedral Ward.” Ludwig for his part, was so caught up in the state of the other’s well being that it took him a moment to realize what Laurence had said, and another moment for him to remember why he’d sought out Laurence in the first place. He nodded again and promised to promptly pass the news along to Alban Kent, eyes never leaving the Vicar’s face as Laurence bid him farewell and attempted to pull the door closed. Ludwig’s hand didn’t budge.

“Are you feeling well, Laurence?”

“I’m fine Ludwig.” He snapped as he wrenched the door out of Ludwig’s grip with a strength that did not match his slight frame and harrowed appearance. “I only require rest. Something you seem insistent on keeping me from at the moment.” The candles in the hall sputtered and flared, deepening the shadows on Laurence’s face as he glared at Ludwig with such venom and contempt that the Hunter found himself rendered speechless. It was in this pause in their conversation that Ludwig could finally take in the other man’s appearance, the deep and dark circles beneath his eyes, the way his frame seemed almost impossibly gaunt, wondering why he had failed to notice it before now. He looked haggard, not at all like an indolent and slothful man who was merely annoyed at being disturbed from an unnecessary sleep. He truly did need to rest…

“My apologies.” Ludwig bowed his head and turned to leave when he felt a smaller, bony hand land on his arm.

“No, I needn’t have snapped at you Ludwig.” All the scorn and disdain had left Laurence’s voice, leaving the man sounding only regretful and exhausted. “I’m tired. That’s all.” The fond smile returned to Ludwig’s face as he turned back towards the other man, placed his hand over Laurence’s gave, what he hoped, was a comforting squeeze to it.

“Then I will leave you to it. Get some rest Laurence.” The Vicar said nothing, merely pulled his hand back from Ludwig and closed the door with a resolute thud, leaving Ludwig in the hallway staring after him. He hadn’t noticed the state of the other’s well-being until now. Had he been besieged by some form of illness? Were the duties of maintaining and leading the Healing Church wearing on him? Was it the threat of the Beast Plague? When had Ludwig become so busy hunting and slaying beasts to realize that Laurence was not well whatsoever? What if treatment was impossible? What if-

Ludwig gave a shake of his head to interrupt the thoughts plaguing him. Such events were not things that he could afford to think about in that moment. As the Vicar of the Healing Church, Laurence would surely receive treatment for whatever was vexing him. He had beasts to hunt, a medallion to return, and a Yharnamite to find and bring to Cathedral Ward. With that, ignoring his heavy exhaustion and the feeling of muscles twitching beneath his skin, Ludwig turned and strode down the hall.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was several days later and the moon hung high and wide in the evening sky, occasionally blurred and obscured by the low hanging clouds above Yharnam. Citizens were asleep in their beds, the city streets were almost empty and peaceful. And then the shrieking howl of a beast pierced the night as it’s massive body barrelled through the streets, the Hunters of Yharnam close behind. One broke away from the group in a desperate sprint, weaving through the cobblestone streets after the monster until he lunged forward, axe digging into the muscle and fur of the beast’s leg, drawing a spray of blood that splashed against the walls and windows of the surrounding buildings. The beast made a sharp turn. Yellow eyes blazed bright with murder, its muzzle lunged forward and fangs dug into the neck of the unfortunate hunter, sending a greater torrent of red ichor into the air as it began to tear into the man. A gurgling scream rose from his open throat as the rest of the group backed away, reluctant to interfere at the risk of their own lives. All at once, a strange green glow lit the alleyways and a beam of what appeared to be moonlight made solid blazed forward and into the beast, knocking it backwards onto the stones of the streets. It did not rise.

Panting, Ludwig rolled his shoulders and straightened, the glow of his sword dimming as though to mirror its owner’s exhaustion after the chase. This was the fourth beast they’d encountered that evening and the night was still so young. There was no telling where the other beasts were lurking, where they could be hiding or how many were holed away within the city. He rolled his shoulders again, wincing slightly as the muscles in his arms twitched beneath his skin. For the moment, his men could rest, recuperate, and-

“Behind you sir!”

The sound of shattering glass and splintering wood rose in Ludwig’s ears. Heeding the warning, he ducked forward into a roll, turning the second his feet were firmly affixed to the ground. The sword, once again glowing an ethereal green, swung upwards, carving through the beast’s chest and arching upwards to nearly cleave it in two. It was over in less than a second and Ludwig simply leaned on his blade and tried to catch his breath, now covered with the deep red blood of the beast.

“Where the hell did that one come from?” He gasped, feeling muscles shudder beneath his skin from the excitement. His group of Hunters looked at each other.

“It almost seemed as though it sprang from inside the house, sir.” It was the man who’d shouted the warning. “I saw it through the window behind you, bounding towards it like, well like a beast.” Gathering his breath, Ludwig fought against the heaviness in his shoulders and straightened to clasp the other man’s shoulder, giving him a fatigued, but grateful smile.

“You have my thanks.” He murmured, giving him a pat before striding forward towards the body of the beast. It was thinner, more gaunt than the one they had been chasing throughout the streets. The thing was smaller overall with two legs that almost looked as though it could be bipedal. The torches flickered again and caught the glint of something silver within the fur of the Beast. Perplexed, Ludwig bent forward, trying to ignore the ache in his knees to part the coarse hair and get a better look at-

At the silver medallion emblazoned with the crest of the Healing Church…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The moon, still wide and white as a smile hung much lower in the sky when Ludwig arrived at the heavy wooden door once again. He raised a fist and hammered it against the wood as though trying to knock it down with his bare hands. The reply came much sooner this time, more grumbles and noises of complaints. Ludwig heard them, but at the moment he couldn’t quite bring himself to give a damn. There was a creak and the ever familiar sight of an annoyed, somewhat sleepy looking Laurence came into view as the door opened.

“I can accept you waking me in the afternoon Ludwig, but this-”

“The Old Blood is causing the Beast Plague.” Immediately, Laurence perked up, eyes going wide with shock and Ludwig could practically see his spine stiffen as he was grabbed and pulled into the bedchamber. The door thudded closed behind them and Laurence began to busy himself with the tinderbox, hunting around the room for a candle. The match was struck, a weak flickering light came into existence and Laurence gestured towards the bed, silently imploring Ludwig to sit.

“What have you found out?” He inquired, much calmer than he’d been in the hallway. “Tell me everything.” And Ludwig did. He told him about his encounter with Alban Kent while on a hunt, about how he’d been given the medallion as a form of payment and had returned it during Alban’s visit, how he’d been on a hunt barely an hour earlier only to encounter the beast wearing the pendant. The whole time, Laurence’s expression never changed. Occasionally, the Vicar would nod in acknowledgement, but there was no fear, no rage, not even a response to any of Ludwig’s statements. He was silent while Ludwig explained his findings and remained silent for several moments after Ludwig had finished. On any other topic, Ludwig would have allowed him the time to quietly think, to turn over the information he’d been given to formulate a course of action and how best to implement it. But this was a different matter altogether. Ludwig needed answers, needed some sort of plan, and Laurence just sat there, hands folded together beneath his chin, staring into the flickering candle and said nothing.

“Well?” Ludwig demanded.

“Well what?” Laurence’s tone was smooth, even, almost unconcerned. And Ludwig felt his blood boil.

“Well you need to stop Blood Ministration immediately!” He roared, rising from where he’d been sitting on the bed to stride forwards towards the other man. “If the Old Blood is responsible for creating beasts, we need to stop treatments and-”

“Ludwig.” The Vicar barely even needed to raise his voice and Ludwig found himself cut off. Voice betraying nothing about his thoughts, Laurence continued.“Are you aware of how many Yharnamites come to the Cathedral Ward for Blood Ministration a day?” The words hung heavy in the candlelit air between them as Ludwig’s jaw hung open for a moment or two.

There was no way-

There was no way Laurence could even think that-

“Laurence-”

“Almost fifty Ludwig. Every single day. And that is simply the people we treat for day to day ills and injuries.” Heedless of Ludwig’s attempted interjection, Laurence gazed over the tops of his folded hands at the Hunter. “Have you any idea how many of them have been genuinely cured of their illness and ailments?”

“Laurence, you’re not-”

“All of them Ludwig. Every single person who comes through the Cathedral Ward leaves in almost perfect health every time.” No, he couldn’t be thinking- “What do you think would happen to those if your little discovery were to be disclosed to the populace of Yharnam? What would happen if we were to stop Blood Ministration altogether?”

“The Beast Plague would cease and the people would no longer be threatened!” Ludwig roared once again, muscles coiling and writhing beneath skin in his anger. He paid them no mind and continued to advance towards the First Vicar. “You can’t honestly expect me to-”

“All the efforts and accomplishments we’ve been working towards will be undermined!” His voice had raised slightly, rage barely noticeable but for the few who had known Laurence, truly known him, for years. He stood slowly, full height barely coming up to Ludwig’s chest, but by God did he make good use of every inch. “You claim you want what is best for Yharnam? The Old Blood has ensured that the city thrives, that its people can be healed and made well no matter their standing or station. Do you truly seek to undermine all our efforts Ludwig?”

“Of course not. But if you-”

“And you are worried for nothing. We are already working towards a solution to the plague.” Laurence finished his rant, fixing Ludwig with an icy glare as though daring him to continue the argument. To his credit, Ludwig didn’t so much as flinch, fixing Laurence with a glare of his own.

“What solution?” Laurence did not flinch either at the question, but there was a distinct lack of an answer as well that did not go unnoticed. “What kind of solution are you working towards Laurence?” The other man did not answer some time. Seconds, minutes, hours may have passed by before Laurence finally broke eye contact to turn his gaze out the window towards the pale moon. For a moment, he said nothing and Ludwig wondered if the two of them were destined to remain in silence for the rest of eternity. And then…

“The Choir has made contact with Ebrietas. They’re close to a revelation regarding the nature of the Beast Plague and how best to stop it.” The reply was said to the window, Laurence still refusing to meet his gaze, as though anticipating Ludwig’s reaction and the subsequent look of distress mingled with outrage.

Ebrietas.

“You’re relying on that-” Ludwig cut off, swallowing around the lump that had suddenly risen in his throat at the mere mention. He’d only seen the Daughter of the Cosmos once, back when the Healing Church had still been young, back when using the Old Blood as a medium for healing and medicine had been a revolutionary idea. It had only been once, only the briefest of glimpses. But what little he’d seen had remained with him for weeks, months, and would likely remain with him until he died.

And Laurence wanted to rely on her- on it, for help with the epidemic ravaging their city. “Your plan is to rely on that thing!?” He hissed, advancing towards Laurence, the rage bubbling beneath his skin nearly tangible. “Making deals with beings man was not meant to comprehend? Endangering the lives of the citizens of Yharnam?” HIs anger and frustration with the other man burst forth and Ludwig surged forward, gripping Laurence’s upper arms tightly and giving him a rough shake that lifted Laurence partially off the floor. “What are you thinking Laurence!?” There was no response as Laurence continued to gaze out of the window. The man’s apparent indifference to Ludwig’s outburst enraged Ludwig even further and he nearly found himself overtaken by the urge to rip the other man limb from long limb when he noticed the Vicar’s eyes, yellow sclera glazed and glassy. And Ludwig felt a cold sense of dread come over him as the pieces began to fall together. Yellow eyes, long limbs, a persistent fever, the strange way his face had grown gaunt and longer in the time since the founding of the Church... “Laurence?” The eyes closed as Laurence drew a quivering breath.

“Their lives are not the only ones at risk, Ludwig.” He murmured, eyes still glassy, still refusing to meet Ludwig’s. “The best way to study the effects of a substance on the body of humans is to experience said effects yourself after all.” Laurence smiled, gave a rueful chuckle as though the two of them were simply conversing as two old friends, as though Ludwig’s fingers and body hadn’t gone numb causing his grip on Laurence to loosen just enough for the Vicar’s feet to touch the floor once again. And still he continued speaking. “If Ebrietas is not forthcoming, then my own experiences with the plague should be rather enlightening.” He finally looked up, finally met Ludwig’s eyes and gave a rueful, almost sad smile. “Don’t give me that look Ludwig.” He gently admonished the other and Ludwig vaguely became aware that his face had contorted in a look of despair. “If all else fails then…” He swallowed, nonchalance taking on a newly unearthed fear at the unspoken certainty of his future. “Well, I’ve trained Amelia for this exact scenario. She’s a worthy successor already…” He trailed off, looked off towards the moon through the window once again and left Ludwig to stew over the night’s revelations.

He’d been foolish really. The conclusion of Laurence’s fate should have been obvious to Ludwig from the moment he’d realized where the Scourge of the Beast came from. The Old Blood caused the Beast Plage, and Laurence, as the First Vicar of the Healing Church and pioneer of Blood Ministration itself, had naturally been partaking the blood as far back as their days as students in Byrgenwerth. Had that not been how they’d discovered its medicinal properties? Or rather, how Laurence had discovered its medicinal properties? Had Laurence known? Had he known of the Beast Scourge the entire time? Or had the information made itself known to him at a later time? Through his continued contact with that thing beneath the Cathedral? Or had Laurence simply noticed the pattern between those who contracted the affliction and the patrons of the Healing Church? Thousands, millions of questions bouncing around Ludiwg’s head, vying to be spoken, practically tumbling over themselves to be the first out of his mouth. And yet, the sight of Laurence, looking haggard, uneasy, and more scared than Ludwig could ever recall seeing him in the time they’d known each other, rendered every single question and query silent. What could he say? What words could possibly offer comfort to a man who knew he was destined for a fate that would surely be worse than death for a man sworn to eradicate plague and disease?

“With how much you’ve been sleeping well into the afternoon she’s practically running things already…” Though despondency did not leave his face, Laurence managed a brief chuckle and a smile at the comment.

“That she is…” He murmured in reply. For a moment, the two said nothing, just standing in the warm, sputtering glow of the candle on the bedside table as they tried to keep their wits, tried to pretend that all their work wasn’t for nothing, trying to pretend that one of them was not only a few steps away from a horrific fate. And then Laurence looked up, finally meeting Ludwig’s brown eyes with his own, now yellow eyes. “You’ll stay with me, won’t you?” The question was softly asked, Laurence’s voice quivering with an insecurity he would rather die than show the masses of Yharnam. “Until the end?” And with a final squeeze to the other’s shoulders, offering comfort rather than consternation, Ludwig replied with his own miserable smile.

“Of course.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He’d been returning from another nightly hunt, exhausted and covered in the blood of beasts when he saw the strange glow through the spires of the Cathedral Ward. Smoke was billowing into the night air from deeper within the ward. Ludwig only had a moment to take in the horrifying sight, had only a moment to wonder what had happened, whether the Clerics had been evacuated, whether Laurence was safe or not, before another Hunter was running towards him, eyes wide and panicked. Ludwig ran forward to meet him, expecting news of the fire, what had caused the blaze, if it was an accident or deliberate. The Hunter wasted no time, calling out to him immediately.

“There’s a Beast! In the Cathedral Ward!” Ludwig felt his blood freeze. Whatever he’d been expecting, it certainly hadn’t been to hear that they were under attack. With no hesitation, Ludwig gripped the hilt of his blade, accelerating and calling over his shoulder.

“Where is it?”

“It’s in the Grand Cathedral.” The Hunter called back, struggling to keep up as the two of them ascended the stone steps. The streets were deserted, sparks and embers dancing in the air around them as Ludwig could feel the air grow thicker with heat as they approached the Cathedral. Were the beast and the blaze connected somehow? A thought suddenly occurred to Ludwig and he felt his stomach drop to the stones beneath him. The blaze was visible now, even from the low level of the Round Plaza, he could see the edifice of the Great Cathedral, partially obscured by the flames that threatened to consume the entire Ward. Pausing for the first time that night, he turned to the Hunter.

“Where is Laurence?” The Hunter paused, a look of confusion spreading across his face, likely due to Ludwig’s use of the Vicar’s given name. Ludwig however did not have the patience for such things. “Do you know where the First Vicar is?” A look of horror crossed the other man’s face and he turned his gaze towards the stone steps leading up to the currently burning Cathedral.

“I, I heard that he’d gone to the Great Cathedral to pray but-” He may have said something afterwards, or perhaps he’d simply cut the statement off right there. Either way, Ludwig heard nothing over the ringing in his ears the news brought. Laurence had been in the Cathedral. The Cathedral that was now engulfed in flames. The burning Cathedral that a beast had last been seen in…

With a shake of his head, Ludwig grit his teeth and clutched the hilt of his blade so tight he could feel his knuckles turn white. He had to think, had to focus. Laurence was likely-

The Church would-

“What about Amelia?” The Hunter’s head shot up, taken aback by Ludwig’s sudden question. “Where is she?”

“I heard she was taken to the Church of the Good Chalice.” He replied. “Far as I can tell, she’s safe, sir.” And with that, Ludwig let out a shaky breath. Laurence may be-

Laurence was probably-

Even so, the Healing Church would rebuild, would rise from the tragedy under Amelia’s guidance. So long as she was safe, so long as she could lead, they would recover.

But they would not do much with a Beast burning down the Great Cathedral.

Gripping the hilt of his sword once again, Ludwig turned and faced the other Hunter.

“Gather as many men as you can. We can’t let it escape!” The Hunter gave a nod and almost ran off before a look of uncertainty crossed his face, nearly making Ludwig scream with impatience.

“Sir it- It’s different somehow. I don’t think we can-” And Ludwig was gone before the other could speak any further, bounding up the stairs towards the blazing Cathedral, heedless of the flames and scorching heat surrounding him. The doors were wide open, flames licking the stone entryway as Ludwig peered inside. Even partially obscured by heat and fire, Ludwig could see that the Hunter had been right. This Beast was different, far bigger than the others he’d encountered previously. Nothing to be done about it. Clenching his eyes, Ludwig dove forward, leaping into a roll through the flame and coming to his feet on the heated stone floor before the beast.

Steeling his eyes, Ludwig ignored the beast and cast his gaze around the interior of the Cathedral, looking for some sign of Laurence. There was nothing. No blood on the floor, no tattered pile of clothes, no blood-soaked body lying somewhere in the corner. For a moment, only a moment, he allowed himself a small sigh of relief. Either Laurence had escaped, or…

And then his eyes fell on the Beast.

It easily dwarfed him, nearly reaching the upper levels of the Cathedral while standing on its hind legs. Shaggy grey fur covered a body that was wreathed and alight with flames. At the sound of feet hitting stone, the thing turned its mangled antlered head towards him, drew itself up to its full height and bellowed, long and guttural. Its breath stank of rot and decay and blistered impossibly hotter than the inferno surrounding them. It was a monster of a Beast, a devil that had crawled out of Hell itself and brought damnation with it.

And Ludwig swung his blade wide, green glowing against red and orange to slice into the open maw of the Beast.

There was no telling how long the two exchanged blows. The Beast lunged forward and Ludwig rolled away. Ludwig rushed forward to try and cut legs and the beast would bring its heavy arm down before he could get within range. They sliced, stabbed, swung and danced around each other until Ludwig was panting and sweating with exertion. The heavy robes of the Church Hunters may have protected him against the worst of the beast’s attacks, but the warmth had become unbearable and he could feel his head swim. There was no sure way of telling how the beast was faring, but it was covered in shallow cuts with what appeared to be liquid fire seeping through them. It roared once again and lunged towards Ludwig, but its movements were slower, more fatigued. It was wearing down. Just a few more strikes, just a few more moments, just-

And with a great burst, a beam of moonlight shot forth from the sword to pierce straight through the torso of the monster and with a great shriek of pain its upper body flew through the air leaving the legs and hindquarters to collapse onto the floor. It clawed its way towards the doors, howling and shrieking in agony and defeat. Ludwig rushed forward, sword raised high and poised to strike the final blow when the beast turned its head and roared at him, sounding almost pitiful. The blaze around them had dimmed, as had the fire lighting the beasts eyes. Without their glow, Ludwig could see that they were the yellow of beasts; lucid, clear, and bright with an intelligence that did not suit its bestial nature. Bright yellow eyes that Ludwig was certain he’d seen somewhere before in a dimly lit room in the flickering light of a candle. Eyes that had once glowed a bright, intelligent green before the blazing light of the setting sun…

“Laurence?”

And the beast blinked, eyes narrowing before widening as they fell on Ludwig’s form, frozen against the dying flames. Its- his- The Beast’s eyes widened in recognition and it gave a piercing, agonized. More and more liquid fire sizzled on the slowly cooling stone floor as it began to claw at its own head, howling and shrieking in a maddened agony.

And in his mind, Ludwig could almost hear the frantic, panicked voice of the First Vicar.

“You’ll stay with me, won’t you?”

Teeth clenched and eyes hardened, Ludwig strode forward. His sword was no longer glowing with Moonlight, but still raised, still poised to strike. Laurence- no. He could not afford to think of this, this thing as Laurence. The Beast that had never been Laurence continued to growl and shriek as he approached. Limbs thrashed across the ground, swinging wide and missing Ludwig by mere inches. He continued on.

“Until the end?”

The Beast continued to growl, even as Ludwig drew closer, even as he came to stand right next to his- it’s head, even as the pointed end of the sword hovered above one open yellow eye.

“Of course.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Seemingly hours later, the other hunter who had split from the Plaza will through the Cathedral doors, a dozen hunters in tow, each expecting to see Ludwig in the jaws of some enormous flaming beast. Instead, they will find him standing triumphant over its massive corpse, covered in blisters and burns and with a hollow look in his eyes and news of the death of Laurence the First Vicar on his tongue. They will never know what occurred during the battle, Ludwig will refuse to speak of it. No one will know how he spent the past few moments, cradling the head of the Beast in his lap, tears soaking into fur as the fire around them died, wondering how it had come to this. How had Laurence, the Vicar of the Healing Church, had fallen to Beasthood. And if Laurence had been the first to go, how much longer did Yharnam have. And no one will know until much later that as Ludwig had wept and mourned, he’d felt something foreign, something monstrous and sinister, slithering beneath his own skin…

@dragonbasket

@maskofconfusion

Ascendance. This was the true goal of the Healing Church. Hidden under layers of selflessness and generosity to Yharnam’s citizens, the pursuit of godhood spun the cogs of their civilization without ever being seen. The Church stood as a beacon of hope and prosperity to the people, with it they had no fear of illness, of injury, of death. The people put their unquestioning faith in the miracle blood and obliviously trusted the Church to uphold their promises of security until it was too late.

The moon hung in the sky above Yharnam like a blooming rose. It bathed the streets and rooftops in a blanket of crimson light and reflected off the stained windows of the Grand Cathedral like the glint in a wolf’s eyes.

The Church had abandoned its people. While the red moon rose higher in the night sky, the upper echelons had blocked off the Great Bridge, effectively spelling the fate of anyone still on the other side. Those of the Church had closed its doors and hidden themselves away, leaving the helpless citizens of Yharnam to the claws of the beasts it helped create.

Said beasts ran through the city like a swarm of locusts. With gnarled, matted fur and bloody claws and wild eyes they tore through people and homes like a knife through butter. It was a culling. The cobbled streets were wet with the blood of women and children and the men trained as hunters even though they never stood a chance.

There were still those who attempted to fight, those with the hope that it was only a matter of time until they were saved. They stood fast in Old Yharnam and acted as a last line of defense. But even then, the Old Hunters too fell to the merciless strength of the beasts. On that night Old Yharnam was set ablaze as a last resort, and any hope of pushing back against the beastly scourge was turned to ash along with it.

It was on that night that Laurence, the first Vicar made contact with the Moon Presence. In his lust for cosmic knowledge and desperation for salvation from the monsters he helped create, he too became a horrifying beast.

It was on that night that Ludwig the Holy Blade upheld his duty to the Church and took up his sword of moonlight, slaying Laurence where he stood. No longer a man, but a beast.

Ludwig dashed up the stairs to the Grand Cathedral. He’d already spent too much time that night fighting a losing battle. Countless numbers of his students and fellow hunters had lost their lives to the beasts roaming the streets. They’d had to give up even pretending they could protect the citizens from the vicious creatures, eventually retreating to preserve their own lives. After all, if the hunters all died here, would there be any hope left?

He passed by whimpering children and weary mothers on his way up the stairs -he was surprised they even made it this far- with his eyes forward and shoulders squared. He knew there was nothing he could do to help them short of inviting them into the cathedral, and even that was only open to the public during the day for blood ministrations and prayer. They wouldn’t be allowed to stay there regardless, those days were over.

So he moved on. He pushed the heavy doors open and closed them without looking back.

“Ludwig, I see you’ve made it right on time.”

Standing at the far side of the cathedral with his back to the entrance was Vicar Laurence, the founder of the Healing Church as they knew it. Laurence was a man Ludwig respected greatly, a man he found strength when standing beside him. It was more than he felt he deserved, for him to have found a light in the crushing darkness they all lived in. But he’d slowly been learning that selfishness was the only way to survive anymore.

Though even in this nightmare they lived in Laurence still had not given up. He was fully devoted to his cause, so devoted that Ludwig felt compelled to stand by his side as he saw it through.

“It’s almost nightfall, Laurence, I hope whatever you’ve got to say is important.” he sighed. “The state of things out there is getting worse and worse, it would not be wise to ignore. There’s nearly nobody left.”

Laurence spun around away from the altar and clasped his hands together in excitement.

“My dear Ludwig, I believe I have made the discovery of a lifetime. The solution to all of our beastly problems! The gateway to a greater self!”

Laurence was all but vibrating with anticipation as he waited for Ludwig to approach him at the altar. He excitedly rearranged various items on the surface and motioned for Ludwig to hurry closer.

Ludwig reached the scholar and peered around his shoulder at the mess of what could only be described as things on the wood of the altar. There were what looked like masses of flesh and mummified extremities and strange plants- He couldn’t even begin to guess what Laurence had in mind for these ‘materials’.

He carefully stepped away from the altar and drew Laurence back by his sleeve to meet his eyes. “Laurence, have you gone mad? Miracle blood is one thing, something I’m willing to believe in, but this?” his voice lowered, “You worry me, Vicar.”

Ludwig wanted to rationalize what he was witnessing. He wanted there to be a straightforward answer from Laurence to explain the horrific things he was collecting, but he feared that there wasn’t going to be one. How could there be? And that’s what he was worried about. He was worried that Laurence was getting into something he shouldn’t be, something he couldn’t handle.

Laurence laid a hand over the one still grasping his sleeve. “I need you to trust me, hunter.”

Ludwig could feel himself caving. Inside, he knew he was never going to stand in the way of Laurence’s progress. While Laurence and his ideas sometimes confused or worried him, he knew that he did indeed trust him. He trusted him completely, and that thought used to scare him, but now it was a fact he was resigned to. He would follow Laurence to the very end, be it a happy one or just another nightmare.

Ludwig nodded, letting go of Laurence’s robes and standing back.

Laurence reached out to squeeze his hand lightly one last time and smiled. “Thank you, Ludwig. This is something I could not do without you.”

Laurence then turned back to the altar and laid his hands upon it. He ducked his head and whispered words too low for Ludwig to hear.

Ludwig watched, stunned, as the air around his comrade shimmered and shook. His mind could barely comprehend the way the energy in the room turned solid and flowed. The mirage-like form floated through the air around the altar, reaching down from the high ceilings of the church to ensnare the man beneath it. All Ludwig could do was bear witness as the form seemed to coil around Laurence the way a snake would its prey.

Laurence was lifted into the air, his body silhouetted by a red halo of light cast through the stained windows behind him. In stark contrast to Ludwig’s creeping terror, the man before him looked delighted. He looked up and past something the other could not see and reached out his hand in offering.

Ludwig broke out of his stupor to call out to his comrade, fear and confusion lacing each syllable. He could barely comprehend enough of the scene to question it, almost begging for any kind of explanation.

“Don’t you see, Ludwig? There’s no need to be afraid!” Laurence looked away from empty air to address the frantic man below him. “Our time of fearing everything but the shadows beneath our feet is over, soon it will be our time.” He flung his arms out at his sides as the being coiled around him became corporeal. “Witness me, dear friend, for I have beckoned the Moon!”

Laurence’s raving grew more spirited, gesturing wildly seemingly in an attempt to quell Ludwig’s fears. He tried to assure him that they would live on, thrive, even ascend together.

Ludwig knew they couldn’t.

He reached over his shoulder and grasped the hilt of his blade. The last thought that went through his head as his sword lit up like a glowing sea was how much he wished they could.

@fateoftheundead

[mrslittletall]

Title: Fire and Ashes Fandom: Bloodborne Characters: Laurence the first Vicar/Ludwig the Holy Blade Word Count: 7.052 AO3-Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/32196505

Summary: Laurence has been sick with the beastly scourge for a while already and he knows that he will transform soon if he doesn't find a solution...

(Author's note: My entry for the Soulsborne Chain Game I host on my headcanon blog @headcanontheshitoutofsoulsborne. I wrote the starter entry for it. Please check out the completed chain here. Everyone did such a great job and deserve the praise.)

It was time for the usual morning mass and Laurence was feeling terrible.

In truth, he had felt terrible for a while now.

His body had been plagued with fevers that made him feel like he burned from the inside and he swore, sometimes it even felt like he managed to melt things he touched.

He was suffering from intense nausea that he couldn't stave off... sooner or later he would end up in front of the toilet, or any other receptacle he could reach in time, and vomit out whatever he had eaten prior. The worse thing however, was that the vomit was uncomfortably hot and he sometimes had the feeling that he was throwing up literal lava. Judging by how red it looked, it may have been true, but Laurence still desperately hoped that it was just blood. Which was more than unsettling in its own right, but would be a lot better than what he feared it was.

The last symptom and the one that made him absolutely sure about which sickness he was suffering from, was the hunger... the desire to bite into anything vaguely human shaped and the times in which he had wanted to dissect a corpse and found himself having stuffed a finger in his mouth... or worse.

His hands were concealed by gloves. It was usual for him to wear gloves anyway, but in this times and days, he never removed them, because of his prolonged finger nails that reminded him very much of claws.

It was more than clear for Laurence that he was infected with the beastly scourge, the plague that had befallen Yharnam all this years ago and he didn't know just how much time he had left.

However, his poor state wasn't a reason to neglect his duties and so he stood up on the gallery to hold the mass like every morning and recited the prayer, until he was at the last few verses.

“Remain wary of the frailty of men.

Their wills are weak, minds young.

Were it not for fear, death would go unlamented.”

Almost done. Laurence took a deep breath and raised his voice to speak once again.

“Bless us with-”

A sharp pain stopped his words and he clasped a hand at his chest, where his heart was. That... that never had happened before. At the same time, the nausea washed over him. Oh no, not here, not in the open, with all the citizens and all the church ministers watching him.

Already they stared at him, clearly confused why he had stopped. He couldn't... couldn't stay here. Clasping his other hand over his mouth, he turned around to run... only managing a few steps before his body forced him to throw up right where he was, hot reddish vomit seeping through his fingers and hitting the floor with a sizzle.

“Vicar, what was that?”, he heard a voice next to him, one of the church ministers. More voices joined in soon.

“Your grace, did you just...?”

“...That looked like blood...”

“Are you feeling alright? Should we prepare a blood ministration?”

Laurence didn't feel ready to speak. He had the feeling when he opened his mouth, that the rest of his breakfast would make it out. He raised a hand, the one that wasn't clasped over his mouth and dismissed them. He didn't need any help. He just needed to be alone.

Before anyone could say something, Laurence was making a beeline to his office, shutting the door behind him with a loud noise and then... vomited out the rest of his breakfast into a bucket he had positioned there just for this case. I was filled with a little bit of water, to cool down the far too hot vomit. Even now he could see how the water in the bucket started to steam.

After he was done, Laurence wiped his forehead. The fever was back. He took a few steps back and then practically fell into his chair that was lined up with his desk. His breathing was slow and heavy and he needed a few minutes to even think about pouring himself a glass of water and washing the bad taste in his mouth away.

He looked down at his desk, where his notes were strewn everywhere. How long had he worked last night? Desperately trying to find a cure that he hadn't managed to find for years? Laurence removed his gloves and looked at his hands, seeing that his fingernails had prolonged even more over the night.

How much time had he left? Weeks? Days? Hours maybe?

He raised his head and got up, stepping in front of a mirror that was standing in his office. The claws were not the only clue. He could see the fangs, when he bared his teeth, small, but they were there, as well as his left eye which had started to collapse. One of the earliest signs of the scourge.

His gaze wandered to his door. After what happened just now, he shouldn't let himself be seen like that. He went to his door and turned the key in the lock, letting it stick before going back to his desk, where he sat down with a frustrated sigh and started to sort through his notes. As long as he still had time, he at least had to try. He wouldn't succumb to the scourge that easily.

As Laurence sorted his notes, his hand brushed against a certain item. He picked it up and stared at it.

A failed experiment from the early days of the Healing Church. A rune with which they had tried to control the beastly scourge, to at least let these people remain their humanity, if not their form. He knew that it was futile. The rune wouldn't help him, it would probably simply speed up his transformation.

Why did he have it still here? He didn't know. Maybe he had tried to base the cure around it. Laurence didn't remember. His memory was often hazy nowadays and so he brushed the rune to the side, instead reading up on the notes he must have worked on yesterday evening.

There must be a base to start somewhere. He only needed to find it. Wishing to be able to better concentrate, Laurence hooked himself up on a blood ministration. He would need the focus.

He almost missed the knock on his office door.

That Laurence had suddenly left the gallery mid prayer had been a cause of concern for Ludwig. He knew that Laurence hadn't been feeling well lately, as hard as he tried to hide it, but that had been the first time he had actively run away before having spoken out the adage to its end.

While everyone else present was starting to leave after a brief confusion, either going to their shops, workplaces or starting their duties in the church, Ludwig made his way up to the gallery, where he found the church ministers in the middle of a heated discussion.

“Excuse me, what happened here?”, Ludwig raised his voice to drown out their argument. “Where is Vicar Laurence?”

“Ah, Sir Ludwig, we were discussing this just now.”, one of the church ministers replied, while several others stared at Ludwig, making him feel like a whole row of eyes stared at him. “He seemed to be in pain and then threw up... it looked like blood.”

Ludwig had shouldered his holy moonlight sword as usual, but when he heard that, his grip around tightened and his eyes widened. “He did WHAT?! Why has nobody followed him?”

“He gave us a sign that he would be fine and you know how he is.”, the church minister said. “He would have just sent us away. We were actually just discussing how we could approach him about the issue, because...”

The church minister pointed at the ground and Ludwig could see that there was clearly a hole burned in the ground, an acidic smell coming from it.

“Is that where he...?”, Ludwig asked and before he could finish his sentence, the church minister nodded.

“Yes, where he threw up.”, they finished for Ludwig.

“That's not good... it's literally burned. I will go and try to talk to him. You stay here. Don't do anything withOUT my approval.” Ludwig waited until all of the church ministers gave him a bow and then made his way to Laurence' office with an uneasy feeling in his stomach.

As he stood in front of it, he took a deep breath and then knocked at the door. “Laurence? I am going to come in.”, he said and tried to turn the handle, only to notice that the door was locked. “Laurence? Open the door, please.”

Laurence froze as he recognized the voice outside the door. The voice of Ludwig. Ludwig was the last person Laurence wanted to have in his office right now. He was a Hunter. He would recognize the signs, the signs that Laurence successfully had hidden from Ludwig for so long, by having him pushed away and shut out, a behaviour that he still didn't know why Ludwig tolerated it. He had been horrible to him and still, Ludwig would come and just tell him that it was alright, he would wait until Laurence felt better.

Only that Laurence knew he wouldn't get better, not when he wouldn't find a cure. So Laurence raised his voice and said: “I am fine, Ludwig, I am busy. Just go away. Please leave me alone.”

Ludwig couldn't come in and see him, he would notice the collapsed eye, the fangs, the prolonged fingernails. He would be forced to kill Laurence at the spot, as was the rule for church hunters, no one infected was to be left alive, but Laurence didn't want to force Ludwig to do this. Especially not when he had failed to make Ludwig hate him. Why had his boyfriend to be so kind and understanding?

“Laurence, I have been considerate with you for weeks now.”, Ludwig said. “I know you aren't feeling well and that you don't want much company, but... you have thrown up blood today at the morning mass. Blood that was hot enough to burn a hole in the ground. Laurence, whatever it is, that ails you, you don't have to go through this alone. Please, let me help you.”

Laurence felt a sharp stab in his chest at his words. This time it hadn't been from the scourge. He knew it was because Ludwig would be willing to stay with him and help him out and he wished so much that he could get into his arms and confess everything to him, but Laurence knew that he couldn't.

He couldn't let Ludwig know. He had to try and use all the time he had for finding the cure. How much he wished to just tell Ludwig the truth, he could, he just had to open the door and leave him in and confess about his ailment to him, but... he couldn't. Ludwig was the most loyal hunter of the church. He wouldn't stop because it was Laurence and Laurence knew that the action would break his heart.

“This none of your business.”, Laurence said, as cold as he could manage, even though he felt hot tears drop down his face. Not as hot as his vomit, but still hot enough to steam when they dripped on the ground. “Leave me alone. You can't help me.”

“Laurence, please.” Oh, Laurence just hated how pleading Ludwig's voice was. “You haven't been yourself lately. Please let me help you. I want to help you, but how can I help you when you don't let me be part of your life?”

More tears forced their way out of Laurence' eyes as he got up and walked towards the door and extended a hand, leaving it on the handle. He just had to unlock it and let Ludwig in and... no, he couldn't. He shook his head and sank down in front of the door, with his back to it.

“I... I can't...”, he sobbed, not being able to hold his tears back. “I just... can't...”

“Laurence, are you crying?!”, Ludwig shouted and frantically tried to turn the handle, several clicking noises proofing that his efforts were fruitless. “Let me in, Laurence, please.”

“No.”, Laurence said, his voice coming out strained. He took a deep breath and then shouted: “Just leave me alone and don't come back!”

“...”, there was an audible silence in front of the door. “I can't force you to open the door...”, Ludwig said and he must have removed his hand from the handle, because it went back to its original position. “But I won't leave you alone either. Just... please tell me what's wrong. Please, Laurence, just give me a chance.”

Laurence didn't reply as he got up, gaze on the ground, wiping away the fresh tears in his face.

If I let you in, you have to kill me.

The unspoken words hung in the air. Laurence couldn't bring himself to say them. He also couldn't bring himself to tell Ludwig to leave him alone anymore.

“Sir Ludwig, there have been beast sightings at the outer rim of cathedral ward!”, a hurried voice sounded, not belonging to Ludwig obviously.

“In broad daylight?! They are getting more and more brash.”, Ludwig gasped. “Laurence, I have to go, but I will come back and then I want for you to talk to me.”

There was around half a minute of silence before Laurence could hear footsteps that moved away from the door. Soon, they faded and Laurence took one step towards his desk, when the pain from earlier hit him again.

With a cry, he fell to his knees, doubled over in pain. This pain certainly was worse than earlier, he felt like he got ripped apart from the inside. Alongside the pain, he felt an itching sensation on his head, so much that he wished he could move and scratch his scalp open. It continued until the itching sensation became a new wave of pain, so intense as if something, anything wanted to force its way out of Laurence' head.

He spent a small eternity in this agonizing pain when it stopped as sudden as it had started. Breathing heavily, Laurence got up on his knees, staring at the splotches of blood on the floor, already sizzling into the carpet. He raised a shaky hand to touch his face and found blood. He couldn't remember getting injured, had he self harmed in his pain?

He slowly got up on his feet and limped to the mirror in his office, stopping before he even was in front of it. He didn't need to come closer to see what was wrong as his hand shot upward to confirm what he saw.

Antlers. He had grown some antlers, that now adorned his head, a thin stream of blood accompanying the place where they had forced their way through.

“I might have less time than I thought...”, Laurence gasped as he went a few shaky step to his desk and let himself fall down on his chair.

He could as well use this time and try to see if he at least managed to find a base for the cure. If he would transform and had to die anyway, he wouldn't just take it with his head bowed, he would scream and fight against it.

So Laurence straightened himself up, took a deep breath and then started to work.

An hour or two later, Laurence had scattered a variety of documents over his desk. Ideas where the beastly scourge came from. The first idea and the one he had followed the longest had been that it escaped the labyrinths. They had seen beasts down there and it felt like the most logical thing, that after they got unsealed, the sickness that was responsible for the beasts in there would be able to come out.

Though, they never had learned how the people down there had transformed...

Another idea had been that it was the fault of the vilebloods, but that couldn't be. As much as Laurence loathed, the beastly scourge had been there before the vilebloods had come into Yharnam and it didn't vanish once the executioners had been done with their job. The vilebloods had been beasts of their own, but that was a thing that Laurence couldn't blame on them.

A third theory, a theory that Laurence always had dismissed immediately, was that maybe the blood could be at fault. That instead of getting them closer to ascension, that humans would regress and that was the cause of the beastly scourge. Laurence had tested the blood rigorously and had been sure that it wasn't the case, but.. right at the moment he was staring at the newspaper story about Old Yharnam.

He remembered that night far too well. Finally having acquired enough umbilical cords to summon a Great One, one of the ascended, he had stepped outside and done the ritual, seeing as the Great One came from the moon. He had stepped forwards to ask her his questions, when Gehrman suddenly appeared and said something to the Moon Presence... and that had been the last time Laurence had seen Gehrman.

Shortly after, the worst hunt that had ever happened took place. Almost everyone in Old Yharnam had transformed. It had to be the influence of the moon, Laurence thought, as he stared out of the office of his window during that night, seeing the blood red moon in the sky.

In the end, Old Yharnam had to be burned down and sealed shut before the beasts would spread into the other parts of the town. Shortly after it happened, the blood red moon vanished and the longest hunt ever had been over... and Laurence had come out of it as a broken man, even though he didn't let it shine through.

Now that he looked at the article again, he noticed something. The article mentioned the sickness that had ailed Old Yharnam during that time.

Ashen Blood... in truth it had been a poisoning caused by the church. It hadn't been exactly on purpose, but the Old Yharnam citizens had been stubborn and when Laurence had learned that the poison of their research had leaked into the groundwater, he hadn't ordered for them to stop, instead he had brought the holy blood to Old Yharnam, to cure all these people and sold them on the holy blood.

A large amount of people had gotten the blood at the same time.

A large amount of people had transformed into beasts at the same time.

How could he have been so blind?!

Laurence shot up and practically ripped his current blood ministration out of his arm, a small stream of blood running down his arm, the wound closing shortly after, the healing effect of the blood taking action.

Laurence cleaned his arm from the blood and continued to think. That couldn't have been the only cause. There must have been a second cause. Not everyone who took the blood transformed. He himself had taken the blood almost daily for years and he was transforming only now.

Maybe it really was the moon...

Whatever it was, the blood certainly was one of the causes. Of course they could prevent further cases by ceasing to use the old blood, but that would be difficult.

Yharnam was reliant on the old blood. The whole town was based around it. If he would take it away, then the whole town would collapse. He would need a lot more time to figure out who to take the blood away from Yharnam.

The safest bet would be a cure, then they could keep using the blood without fearing the side effects...

Laurence sighed as he noticed that his train of thoughts involved the future, a future that he certainly wouldn't live to see anymore.

Though... with one of the causes figured out, he had a base to at least start. He leaned over his desk to search for a few more documents when the pain came back and this time it was paralysing. He fell down with his chair and convulsed on the ground for what felt like it was a really long time, paired with the same itchy sensation he had felt earlier, paired with an intense pain in his arm.

When the pain ended, he was lying there, gasping for air. It took him a few minutes to get up again. As he looked down on his hands as he propped himself up, one of them wasn't human anymore.

He could see long claws coming out from far too long fingers, the whole hand covered in shaggy fur and as his gaze followed his arm, he could see that it extended to it. His whole left arm had transformed into something so utterly inhumane that he wanted to retch.

Instead he walked the few steps to the couch and flopped onto it, cursing when he bumped his new antlers and then staring at the ceiling.

With the realization earlier about the old blood being one of the causes for the beastly scourge, his initial thoughts had been about how to handle this whole mess.

Now that his own transformation had completed another step, he had become aware that he had doomed Yharnam.

“All I wanted to do was help...”, he murmured, surprised that his voice still sounded human instead of beastly screeches leaving his throat. “I just wanted to help...”, he repeated, as if he wanted to convince a listener that wasn't there.

If only he had thrown the blood away once Master Willem had warned him about it. He probably owed the old man an apology. An apology that he would never be able to speak out. Was the old geezer even still alive?

As Laurence stared at the ceiling, he thought about all the friends he once had and had lost one way or the other, but almost all of them had left his life related to the old blood.

Caryll, who refused to study the old blood and had stayed in Byrgenwerth for their own studies about conversing with the Great Ones.

Maria, one of the best hunters he had ever seen, who got so disgusted with her own actions that she had chosen to take her life instead of living on with the guilt. She had been one of the most vehement defenders of the theory that the blood could have been at fault.

Gehrman, the first Hunter that Laurence had ever employed, the one he had lost to the Moon Presence. No, he had lost him earlier even, when his heart broke into a thousand pieces after Maria's suicide.

Micolash, his best friend and rival, who had become more and more recluse, stopped helping Laurence with the blood ministrations altogether and vanished one day to never be seen, but Laurence knew about a group that was antagonistic to the Choir and while he himself didn't fully trust them himself, the only person in charge of a group that would be able to mess with the Choir was Micolash.

Only Ludwig was left... and Amelia, his adopted daughter and future Vicar, and he had done his best to push both of them away in the last weeks. Especially Ludwig. That Ludwig still wanted to speak to him, baffled Laurence, he had been nothing but an asshole to him lately.

Laurence let out another deep sigh as he rubbed over his forehead, with the far too large beastly hand, feeling hot and sweaty. He could stay here and self loathe until he ran out of time... or he could get up and write down what he had found out so that Amelia and his church ministers could continue his research.

The most important thing would be to wean Yharnam from the blood. Laurence slowly got up. He had to make peace with the fact that he would die soon, maybe he already had made it, but he at least didn't want to leave Yharnam to ride into its certain doom.

It was difficult getting back to his desk. His vision seemed to swim and blur in front of him. Had he gotten up too quickly? No, it was the advanced transformation.

Just as Laurence had sat back down and straightened a piece of paper, taking up a pen to write down his last will, there was a knock on his door.

He froze briefly, asking himself if Ludwig had come back already? If, he would just send him away again. He needed to write his last will and after that... well, he probably would surrender and let himself be taken out before he became a danger to the church.

It wasn't Ludwig however. The voice outside of the door belonged to one of the highest ranking church ministers.

“Your grace, open the door. We have reasons to believe that you have been afflicted by the beastly scourge. As sad as this observation makes us, you know our rules and there can't be an exception, not even for you.”

Pinpoint the cancer and rip it out of Yharnam... Laurence remembered his own words about the matter.

Laurence opened his mouth to speak, to tell them that he would come to them later, that he needed to be alone now, but he was shaken by a horrible coughing fit. There even seemed to come smoke out of his throat... They certainly couldn't see him, when they would see him like this, they would execute him right away and he couldn't let that happen.

Couldn't they have discussed for half an hour more? All these boring meetings and today of all days they came to a conclusion early.

“Vicar Laurence, if you won't open the door, we will have to break it down. If you have nothing to hide, you will be able to open the door just fine, won't you?”

Damn. Laurence glared at the door, cursing his church minister in his mind with a dozen profanities in the span of a few seconds. He cleared his throat and finally managed to speak.

“I wish to be alone right now. I have urgent business to attend to and it can't wait only because of your outrageous accusations. I will make time for you later.”

So that they could execute him... Laurence cringed at the thought, but the church ministers didn't take his words. Of course, what had he expected? If he hadn't anything to hide, he could have just opened the door.

“Break the door down.”, the church minister ordered and Laurence knew that they had a hunter with them, probably multiple. He stared for a few seconds as the door got repeatedly knocked with a blunt object and only when it started to splinter he stared down at his still very blank last will.

In his panic, he wrote down the first thing that came to his mind.

“Fear the old blood.”

Just as he had finished writing, the door burst open and he could see a dozen church ministers as well as a few hunters out there. They stared as much as him as he stared at them.

His appearance was proof enough that he indeed had been afflicted with the beastly scourge.

“Vicar Laurence, you are hereby under arrest!”, the church minister announced in a clamorous voice and Laurence could see how the hunters stormed inside his office.

“Wait!”, Laurence said, both hands in the air, showing that he wasn't armed. The hunters stopped and looked at him, the church minister behind them having scrunched up his face.

“Don't show mercy just because he used to be our vicar.”

Speaking in the past of him, right in front of him. Laurence didn't had time to be offended though, he needed to tell them.

“Please listen to me!”, he said and then his world seemed to stop as his heart skipped a beat and the pain came back full force, in such a force that he couldn't speak anymore, only scream... a scream that didn't even sound human anymore.

From the corner of his eye, he could somehow see how the hunters started to move in his direction again. Laurence brushed over his desk... where was it.. his last will had been just in front of him, but which paper was it? It must be the one with fresh ink, but... he couldn't find anything with wet ink... instead, his hand closed around a small object.

It was the rune. Beast's Embrace. In the back of his mind he knew this was a bad idea. It had never succeeded before, but maybe it would help him regain his sense for long enough so that he could tell them about the dangers that the old blood possessed and how to handle Yharnam after his death.

Laurence embraced the rune with his beastly hand and concentrated on the arcane prowess inside of it... feeling how his pain eased down at first, he already was opening his mouth to speak, when his whole body felt like it would burst.

Failed. was the last conscious thought Laurence ever had, when his bones shifted and his veins popped, rearranging his body in a way that should be physically impossible. He heard how his clothes ripped open when he started to grow, he could feel the itching sensation of fur covering his skin accompanied by a blinding pain. Laurence couldn't see anything anymore, he only heard some shouting in the distance. He wanted to open his mouth to scream, but only a garbled screech came out of it as Laurence realized that his face had twisted into a snout with a row of razor sharp teeth.

He was crouched on the floor, with a claw on his hand... hissing because of the pain... He could smell blood... his blood... It hurt so much, so very very much... But, there was the smell of flesh... human flesh and he felt hungry... so very very hungry... maybe the flesh would help him ease the pain.

He took a step towards a smell and felt a new pain, sharp and annoying, at his leg and when he looked down he saw his attacker. He raised his hand and flattened them in an instant, the sweet smell of blood filling the air. He raised his hand to look at it, the urge to lick the blood clean of it strong, when a second sharp pain hit him.

Growling, he stepped forwards, glaring at the ones in front of him. He rose to his full height and let out a blood curdling screech, as he raised both of his arms into the air and then his fur ignited into fire.

He had to feast... that would stop the pain... it would stop the hunger... he had to hunt them down! With a second screech, he lunged at the first human that was dumb enough standing in front of him.

Once Ludwig returned to the church, it was on fire. With a gasp, he jumped off Midnight, his horse, and ran towards the entrance, stopping when he saw a black robed church hunter stare fearfully at the church.

“Hunter! What happened? Why is the church on fire? Why aren't you helping with evacuating?”

“Sir Ludwig, thank the blood that you returned! It's Vicar Laurence. He... turned. He had the scourge and hid it and now he is the most gigantic beast I have ever seen. He already has killed and devoured a dozen black robes! It was him who ignited the church, he's literally on fire! He's... he's out of control!”

The church hunter took a few steps back after his rant and took a deep breath before he fell down to his knees and... seemed to pray. Ludwig could hear how he called for the aid of the Great Ones, faintly, when his own mind raced.

He had heard them, the words of the black robe. He had been very clear about it. Laurence had turned... his Laurence did have the beastly scourge, the one he loved more than anything in the world, the one who had done his damn hardest to not let Ludwig be part of his life for the last few weeks.

Oh!

It had been so obvious, but Ludwig had decided to ignore him.

Laurence always had eaten his food without saying a word, but had vanished shortly after and often Ludwig had seen him come out of the bathroom wiping his mouth.

He did have increasingly fevers, sometimes they seemed to be getting so worse that he felt like he was on fire.

He never had taken off his gloves.

He had stopped to see Ludwig altogether for the last three weeks, telling him that he was busy and not feeling well and didn't want to get his ailment to spread to him because the holy blood had troubles with healing it.

“Laurence... why haven't you told me...?”, Ludwig said, tightening his grip around his holy moonlight sword before he rushed into the church. Even though he knew that the black robe didn't have any reason to lie, even though he had seen the signs, signs that his past self had ignored, a part of him still wouldn't believe that it was Laurence after he had seen him with his own eyes.

Inside the church, there was chaos. Smoke, flames and rubble. Ludwig covered his mouth and nose with his shawl and approached a group of black robes that tried to free a trapped blood saint from a column that must have fallen on her leg.

Ludwig easily lifted the column and after the blood saint had been safely pulled out, he grimly said: “Where?”

With a shaking hand, one of the black robes pointed deeper into the church. Another one added in a low voice: “Follow the flames...”

Ludwig was doing exactly that.

He actually did find a beast inside the church, in one of the conference rooms where it was busy trashing chairs and tables. The black robe hadn't lied, that was the tallest beast he had ever seen. Easily seven meters or more.

Knowing how small and scrawny Laurence was, Ludwig barely could believe that the beast could be him.

The beast was literally on fire. It wasn't because someone had ignited it, it's fur possessed a fiery quality on its own. When it screeched, a sound that made Ludwig cringe and wince, he could see burning hot magma gathering in its throat.

The left hand was mutilated into a giant claw, far larger than the right claw. The snout was filled with a row of razor sharp teeth and a set of large antlers grew out of its head.

In the corner of his eye, Ludwig saw two black robes approaching the beast, their weapons raised while the beast was distracted smashing and igniting another chair, but the moment their attacks connected with its rear, it stopped and turned around.

Ludwig had never been faster to join a fight, his holy moonlight sword blocking a hit of that immensely large left claw. The force was enough to even knock him several feet back.

“Leave!”, Ludwig ordered the black robes. “Help with evacuating the church! I handle things here!”

The two of them were on their feet in an instant and ran towards the direction of the grand cathedral, while Ludwig eyes his foe.

Could that really be Laurence?

There was a glimmering of gold in front of the chest of the beast.

Ludwig's eyes widened as he recognized what it was.

The Vicar's pendant... Laurence would always wear it, every single day. There was no doubt.

“Laurence...”, Ludwig choked out, feeling tears form in his eyes, tears that didn't had time to spill, because Laurence used his moment of hesitation to hurl him into the next best wall.

Ludwig was blinded briefly by pain as one or two of his bones cracked. He slammed a blood vial into his tight and stood up again, he was the captain of the church hunters. He was used to receiving injuries like this. Nothing that the blood couldn't handle.

...Laurence had always said this.

Upon seeing that his prey had escaped him, Laurence screeched and his large claw came rushing down once again on Ludwig. Ludwig stepped to the side, a technique that Gehrman had taught him. A technique that each Hunter should master, or they wouldn't stand a chance against the beasts they fought.

“Laurence...”, he said again, now feeling the tears in his eyes spilling. “You aren't recognizing me anymore, do you..?”

No, of course not. Nobody had ever come back after transformation. There was only one thing Ludwig could do right now.

Give him a swift death.

Ludwig dodged another swipe of that large claw and propelled his sword into Laurence' right leg. He screamed in pain and... what sounded like frustration.

Ludwig removed his sword and saw far too hot blood gushing out of the wound, igniting the carpet around them.

“You didn't want for it to be me...”, Ludwig murmured to himself as he circled around Laurence, who growled and spluttered at him. Ludwig had always thought that the beasts still looked a tiny bit human. It was no different with Laurence, as grotesque as his body had become, the way he still kept himself upright on two feet and the way he mostly used his claws for attacking... it was one of the most uncanny things about being a hunter. The knowledge that once this wretched abomination had been a human.

It was different when it was his own lover and the head of the church though.

“You didn't want that I had to kill you.”, Ludwig finished his thought. “I would love to make it painless for you, but...”

Ludwig's voice trailed off as he was unable to finish the sentence. He knew that he had to strike Laurence down, he knew that he had to inflict a mortal injury on him to stop his rampage, but... it felt so hard to take the next step. Ludwig looked down at his arm and saw that he was trembling.

That had never happened before.

The arm holding his sword was trembling.

Next thing Ludwig felt was an intense pressure around his chest as Laurence' claws enclosed around his body and lifted him up in the air.

Ludwig stared at Laurence' face.. the face that wasn't his boyfriend's anymore. That was the face of a beast. A beast that would kill anything that crossed its path. A beast that was a danger. For the church, for Yharnam. A beast that had to be taken out.

As Laurence opened his mouth Ludwig wrestled his right arm free of his grip and then drove the sword deep into the open maw of him.

A garbled screech was to hear. Ludwig tried to shove the blade even deeper inside, but get hurled against the wall before he could even properly grab it. This time he had been prepared however and managed to endure the impact with minimum damage.

Laurence was howling in pain, bringing both claws up to his snout, fumbling for the sword stuck in his maw. Ludwig rolled himself up and put a safe distance between him and Laurence, as he managed to remove the sword and hurled it towards the same wall Ludwig had impacted with, blood gushing out of the wound. Blood that looked a lot more like lava.

Ludwig's feet carried him over to the place where his sword had landed. He grabbed for it and as his hands enclosed it, he could see the little lights. His guiding moonlight.

“My guiding moonlight... are you sure about this?”, he said, but he didn't have a reason to not believe its guidance. It always had been right. Ludwig turned around and looked at Laurence, who, in the meantime, had recovered from the pain, blood seeping out of his mouth as he growled in Ludwig's direction.

As he saw how Laurence set up for a lunge, he took the holy moonlight sword with both hands and directed it towards Laurence. He concentrated on the little lights and he was sure about it, they guided him towards a specific strike.

As Laurence executed his lunge, Ludwig ran towards him, following the little lights, jumping in the air shortly before Laurence' large claws let the ground shake and while Laurence was open, he rushed down and drove his sword into his skull, right where his eyes normally would have been.

He could hear the skull cracking as Laurence shrieked in pain. Ludwig landed on the ground, a hand still on his sword as Laurence started trashing around. Ludwig held on for dear life until Laurence laid on the ground, exhausted. Ludwig used that time to remove his sword, wincing in pain as far too hot blood gushed over him and made his skin blister. As long as Laurence was still stunned on the ground, he had to act quickly. Ludwig took a big swing with his sword and let it crash down on the wound.

Laurence cracked skull broke with an audible sound and he twitched for a few seconds.

Then, he stopped moving altogether.

Ludwig slowly approached Laurence. He didn't appear to be breathing anymore. It was over.

All the adrenaline of the fight left him at once. He felt tears streaming down his face. He collapsed on his rear, vaguely aware that the fire the room was coated in wouldn't stop burning and he likely would be reduced to ashes soon if he didn't move.

Nothing of it mattered to him in the moment however. He itched closer to Laurence' dead body, hugging the giant beastly skull, not caring that his burns got even worse as his tears freely fell down and produced steam on Laurence' still hot body.

“Oh, Laurence...”

[ablackfangirlwrites]

I realize I'm like two days late but here's some valentine's day headcanons/scenarios for my fave my hero academia boys

Keigo | Hawks 🐣

"You forget what day it is today didn't you."

You would accuse your boyfriend who just walked in

"Your birthday?"

"Keigo...."

He'd only laugh

"I thought you said you didnt want to do anything for valentine's day."

Normally his nonchalant attitude wouldn't bother you

Most of the time you found it charming

But today was different

"Yeah, I didnt but I thought I'd at least get a text from my boyfriend today!"

"I was busy?" Hes say as an excuse

But that didnt fly

"You literally Text me everyday."

"I'm less busy other days?" Hed tried to say which made you angrier

"I have literally seen you on the news in the middle of a crisis texting me!"

Hawks would laugh

"Okay, okay you got me."

He'd walk closer to you

"But in my defense your the one who didnt text-"

You'd raised your eyebrow darling him to finish that sentence

"Er, what I'm saying is your really quick to assume I didnt do anything for you."

You squinted your eyes at him

"You did something for me at 10 at night?"

Keigo eyes would look away to where your bedroom was and look back hinting something was in there

Suddenly feeling suspicious you'd walk away from him to see what he did

Opening your door you'd find your window now opened

And rose petals scattered around everything

And a box and chocolate on you bed

You were 100% sure that wasn't there when Keigo first walked in

You went to confront him

But he was already at your bedroom door with a single rose in hand

"When did you?"

Feeling prideful he was smiling at you

"Well, while you were accusing me I was busy using my feathers to suprising you. Happy valentine's day babe."

You were smiling now

"You realize I'm going to be clean up rose petals for weeks you could have just answered back when I texted you earlier."

"Meh, I kinda like making you mad...that way I can make it up to you." He said kissing you

Dabi🔥

The relationship you had with dabi wasnt an easy one

You often wondered to your self why you stayed with him

That it would be much easier to be with someone who wasnt a villain

Someone who didnt straight up ignore you and disappear for mouths at a time

"So where have you been?"

You'd ask him one night when he popped up in your apartment after being gone for a while

"None of your business."

He always brushed you off

And would never tell you anything

You honestly wondered why he stayed with you

Was he just using you?

"You know next week is valentine's day I was thinking the two of us-"

"I'll be busy" he said cutting you off

Leaving you to think about if you should really stay with someone who showed so little interest in you

Dabi felt bad

He didnt want to treat you this way

But the less you knew about him the better in the long run of things

And he wasnt lying

The league was doing a lot of big things these days and his free time wasnt as much as it used to be

When valentines day did come up

You wanted to just stay home

But your friends insisted on you going out with them

When you hot back home you expect to find it empty dabi said he was going to be busy after all

But when you got yo your bedroom youd find a single rose on your bed with a torn piece of paper that read

Love you

You'd smile maybe this is why you stayed with him

Toshinori | All Might 💪

It was no secret to that you were in love with Toshinori aka all might

And it was definitely no secret that he felt the same way about you

At least it wasnt a secret to anyone but the two of you

But this holiday you were determined to let him know

Which was why you were in the faculty dorm kitchen making chocolate

Your plan was to make him chocolate and ask him to be your valentine

But it was easier said than done

"What are you in here burning?"

Aizawa asked walking in after the smell of burnt chocolate caught his attention

You would explain to him your master plan

And pitying you he decided to help cause at this rate you were gonna burn the house down

What you didn't plan however was Toshi to pop up at the dorm

He was there to talk to Aizawa

He knew the two of you were close so his plan was to ask him what would be a good gift for you

But when he saw the two of you in the kitchen together he'd get the wrong idea

Which neither realized until the next day

Swallowing your nerves youd approach the retired hero

"I made these for you." Youd beam

Toshi was confused at first he was sure he saw you and Aizawa having a good time and was sure the two of you were dating now

But here you were smiling giving him chocolate and asking if he wanted to eat lunch together

He was happy but he'd be confused "did you not want to eat with Aizawa?"

"No, I was hoping that you would want to eat with me..."

"But you and Aizawa were up last night?"

Youd realized what he was hinting

"Oh no! Aizawa was just helping me make chocolate for you! It's you! You're the one I like Toshinori!"

You didnt realize the word vomit you just spat at him

Until you saw how much he was blushing

All might would be speechless and a little embarrassed he assumed the worst and ended up not getting you anything

But he'd settle with

"Lunch would be great."

Chisaki Kai | Overhaul😷

You didnt know what kai was up to these days

But he kept saying he was busy

At least more than usual

And you noticed he was a lot more irritable lately

So when valentines day came up you decided you were going to surprise him

So you went to his hideout with the whole shabang chocolate, balloons, flowers a card

You knew he'd say hated it but you knew he'd love it too

You also knew he worked with the yakuza but you knew he wasnt bad

At least that was you believed

Going into the hideout wasnt a problem the other members knew you were chisaki's girl

But no one was paying attention when You ran into a little girl

You didn't know who she was but she looked scarred

Youd stop to console the girl

"Awe don't be sad." You kneel down to her level

"Its a happy day, a day about love and other junk" you'd smile at her and give her a flower

She was so cute

So you would even open the box of chocolate and give her a few

She was hesitant but she smiled none the less

You had that effect on people

"What are you doing?"

You'd heard a voice behind you

It was Kai

"Hey!" You smiled at him

And you noticed the girl held on to your leg immediately

She was scared

"I came to say happy valentine's day to the best busy boyfriend ever and I ran into this little cutie." You smiled

He was annoyed that much was obvious but you were hoping he'd look pass that and just enjoy the moment

"Eri why dont you go with Kurono he'll take care of you."

Chisaki told the girl while one of Kurnon walked up behind you

You noticed she seemed to hesitate

"You wouldn't want to start a problem now would you?"

She seemed to understand and let go of you dropping the rose you gave her

"Oh no," you went and picked it up and gave it to her "Dont forgot this you have a good day okay"

"Y/n." Kai would get your attention

You'd just smile, "who's the kid?"

"Why dont you go back home, I'll come see you later." He said avoiding the question

You'd pout but agree

You valentine's day surprise didnt go as planned

But unbeknownst to you you did make someones day a little brighter even for a moment

Shota Aizawa | Eraserhead 🐈

"Happy valentine's day."

Aizawa said to you with roses in hand while standing at your front door

You'd sigh letting him come in

A few nights before the two of you got into a argument

And you weren't sure if he'd say anything to you today but here he was

"Sorry."

You didnt even remember what the argument was about but the two of you left both annoyed with each other

But that was days ago

And the two of you had been giving each other the silent treatment

You were ready to call it quits and had even got him some gifts for the day

But he got to you before you could come to him

"Its been a while." You'd say

"I know...and I'm sorry the argument it was silly."

"I know and I'm sorry too, I should have-"

But before you could finish a meow rang through your apartment

Aizawa eyebrow would raise

And you smile

"I got you a kitten."

"You got me a kitten?"

You went to go pick up a small grey kitten

"I know you've been wanting a cat for a while."

Aizawa would try but he couldn't hold his excitment grinning like a child

"You got me a cat."

And seeing him so happy would make you happy

He move to kiss you "Your the best."

You smile back, "I know."

[sun-summoning]

"Nine Months” Summary: Zuko’s having a baby. A baby dragon, that is. Note: Shameless Zutara. Ignores all finale kisses. 

i.

Zuko isn’t at all tipsy when he sneaks into the room his coronation gifts are stored and begins trifling through everything. And why should he be sneaking, he wonders, not at all drunkenly stumbling into the chest of sacred scrolls someone had given him. He groans as he bends forward to rub his knee. Then he loses his balance and nearly falls flat on his face. 

Fortunately, Katara is there to stop him, catching his shoulders and helping him stand straight. “You okay there, Fire Lord?”

He tries to focus on her but mostly goes cross-eyed. As the three Katara’s wave their hands in his face, he thinks he might throw up. If he threw up on her, she’d probably be furious. Especially because that would mean he ruined her dress. Perhaps she could bend it away? Was vomit-bending a thing?

“I’m fine,” Zuko replies. “I’m the Fire Lord.”

“Oh, I heard. Today was your coronation, after all.” 

His coronation! Zuko perks up, now remembering why he asked Katara to play ninja with him again and sneak into the room the servants brought all the gifts into. Sokka didn’t look all that impressed with the term “play ninja”, but since Sokka was the one challenging him into a drinking contest, he wasn’t really in a position to fight. He was so far gone that Suki had to bring him back to his room. 

“Why did we need to sneak in here?” Katara asks. “You’re the Fire Lord. Can’t we just waltz in?”

“But I don’t want to waltz.”

“That’s not what I--”

“Oh, swords!” 

Zuko runs to the set of broad swords Master Piandao gifted him like Sokka on a shopping spree. He draws out both blades and Katara is quick to grab his hands and make him put them back down.

“You said we were here for an egg?”

“Right.”

Zuko puts the swords back on their decorative stand with only a small pout. When he remembers the reason he came here, he rummages around the piles of presents. He finds a few more weapons that peace time will only allow him to admire and not use. He finds scrolls that will bore him and scrolls that might actually interest him. He even finds some pieces of jewelry that he assumes are supposed to go to the future Fire Lady but that he’ll offer to Katara instead. Not that he assumes she’ll be the Fire Lady, of course--

“I think I found it!”

Zuko rushes over to her side, nearly knocking her over in the process. Katara has to balance both of them as Zuko leans over the box she opened and marvels at the dragon egg. He reaches in to pick it up, but Katara grabs his wrist.

“Are you sure you want to pick that up right now?” Katara asks. “You’re a little, well, inebriated.”

“I was literally just playing with the swords.”

“Yes, but if you stab yourself, I can heal you. Whereas if you drop the priceless fossilized dragon egg, that’s it.”

Zuko decides that he’s heard her warning, respects it, and isn’t going to listen. He plucks the egg out of its box and holds it delicately enough. The shell is surprisingly smooth for the scales that line it. Like virtually everything in the Fire Nation, they’re a deep red, but at certain angles the scales flash gold. Zuko turns it slowly, amazed that something barely bigger than his head could grow into the majestic beasts he met with Aang months ago. He lowers his hands to put the egg back into its case, but pauses when he feels a beat.

“Huh?”

Zuko frowns. He brings the egg closer to face, looking for something but unsure of what. The egg pulses in his hands, as if burning with life. Zuko’s hands begin to shake, so he places the egg back in the chest it came in.

“Katara?”

“Yeah?”

“I don’t think that dragon egg is a fossil.”

-

ii.

Zuko tracks down the gift giver, an eccentric old merchant that was old friends with his uncle. He explains that the egg truly had been a fossil for dozens of years, sitting in one of his smaller warehouses as a lump of black rock that he held onto for sentiment’s sake. However, that warehouse caught fire during the day Zuko returned to the Fire Nation to claim his rightful place, and among the ashes, he found the egg restored, ready to hatch after nine months. Considering it an auspicious sign, he simply knew the dragon egg would need to be given to the new Fire Lord.

The next day, Zuko announces his impending fatherhood to the rest of his friends. 

Sokka is quick to pick up the knife he’d been using on his breakfast before Katara explains that Zuko is having a dragon baby, not a human one. 

“Oh.” Sokka sits back down. “Wait. What? A dragon?”

“A dragon,” Zuko confirms.

Aang looks ecstatic. “That’s so cool, Zuko! When your dragon gets big, you guys can race me and Appa!”

Toph punches Aang’s shoulder. “No way! The first thing that dragon is doing is taking me on my life-changing field trip.” She scowls at Zuko’s general direction. “I’m still waiting, you know.”

“I think Zuko needs to focus on, you know, reforming the Fire Nation, Toph,” Katara points out.

Toph sighs dramatically. “You’ve really changed, Sparky. How dare you.”

Later at dinner, Sokka tells them that he spent the day in the library. That isn’t much of a surprise to anyone because Sokka absolutely loves the palace library and often only leaves when he’s told it’s time to eat.

“I was reading about dragons today,” he explains. “Did you know you have tons of books about dragons?”

Zuko did not. “Of course I did.”

“Well, okay, so where’s the egg?”

“Still with the other gifts?”

“Zuko!” 

Sokka stands with a small shriek. He takes off running. The rest of them resume eating until a few minutes later, Sokka returns with the egg and a long length of cloth that may or may not have been a banner.

“Sokka!” Katara yells. “Don’t run with the egg! What if you dropped it?!”

Sokka ignores his sister and deposits the egg in Toph’s lap. “Here, hold it.”

“Yeah, that sounds safe,” she grumbles.

“I’ll hold it!” Aang says.

“No!” Toph folds over where the egg sits. “It’s mine!”

“No fair!” Aang pouts as he turns to Katara. “Katara, Toph isn’t sharing!”

Katara sighs and tells them to take turns.

Meanwhile, Sokka succeeds in making Zuko stand with his arms outstretched. As he works, he explains that the books all said that the egg needed to stay warm at almost all times, meaning Zuko would need to use his natural body heat to take care of his future dragon. Sokka proceeds to wrap the cloth around his middle and shoulders, leaving a small pocket on Zuko’s chest. As Toph finally agrees to let Aang have a turn holding the dragon egg, Sokka plucks it away and tucks it against Zuko.

“Behold, the Dragon Daddy...Carrier...Thing.” Sokka holds his arms out as he shows Zuko’s new look off to their friends. Everyone regards Zuko in his formal attire with a dragon egg strapped against his chest. “Super manly, am I right?”

Katara crosses her arms, utterly unimpressed. “There’s nothing manly about it.”

Sokka glares at her and Zuko looks positively offended.

She rolls her eyes. “What I mean is that women have been doing that for centuries, Sokka. You’re hardly a genius.”

“But I’m still manly right?” Zuko asks.

“Sure?”

They resume dinner and Sokka regales them with all that he’s learned about dragons. When they’re done, Aang reminds everyone that he still didn’t get a chance to hold the dragon egg. 

Zuko says he can have his turn after dessert.

-

iii.

On rare occasions, Zuko is told that he cannot bring his egg into particular meetings. His advisors are generally accepting of this minor eccentricity, but he knows when to pick his battles, and relents. After all, some other attendees might not take him seriously with a sling strapped across his abdomen. During those moments, Zuko entrusts his egg with Katara. 

Katara looks significantly less weird with the egg held against her body. She’s still too young to be a mother, but she certainly looks like one like that. And it doesn’t help that she’s flanked by Aang and Toph who are both touching the egg and commenting on how the scales feel.

When he’s done for the day, he heads their way. Toph notices him first, turning her head in his general direction. Aang and Katara see him next, the former waving excitedly while the latter smiles in that way that makes Zuko’s heart skip a beat.

“Thanks,” Zuko says when he’s in front of them, “for, um, watching my egg.”

“That sounded weird.” Katara makes a face. “I hated that entire sentence.”

“Well how else am I supposed to say it, Katara?”

Her lips twitch in amusement and Zuko can’t help but smile back. He wracks his brain for something clever or maybe even flirtatious. Naturally, he comes up short.

Aang breaks the silence and eye contact though by tugging Zuko’s sleeve. “Hey Zuko, next time you need to look like a super serious Fire Lord--”

“I am a super serious Fire Lord.”

“--can I eggsit? I’ll be super responsible, I promise! And I can actually firebend, so I can be warm for the egg too!”

Zuko considers Aang’s hopeful grin while also considering that he and Toph thought it’d be a great idea to airbend a pair of ostrich-horses onto the roof for a race. There was nothing responsible about that. Toph couldn’t even see! Aang could be trusted with restoring balance and taking bending away from bad people, sure, but eggsitting Zuko’s future dragon? No way.

“Aang, yesterday you made a mini cyclone in the garden.”

“Yeah, but that’s because Sokka wanted to see what it’d look like on a smaller scale than the ocean.”

“That...no. No, you don’t get to eggsit.”

“Boo!” Aang crosses his arms and pouts. “Fine. I guess only Katara gets to hold your egg.”

Zuko frowns. “Yeah, I hated that entire sentence.”

-

iv.

Every few weeks, Toph confirms that the dragon is indeed a healthy thing. With the egg on the ground and her hands holding it in place, she tells Zuko that it has a regular, steady heartbeat. Of course, she doesn’t really know how a dragon’s heart should beat. For all she knew, it wasn’t actually beating at the proper rate and the dragon was doomed.

“Nah,” Sokka says. He begins tapping the floor. “It should be like this.”

Katara raises an eyebrow. “How would you even know that?”

“I read about it.”

“You read about dragon heartbeats?” Katara frowns. “I don’t think that’s a thing.”

“It’s absolutely a thing!”

Zuko drowns them out as he picks the egg up from where it sits before Toph and carefully tucks it back into his sling. His hands rest upon it while Aang leans in close to marvel at it too. 

“Man, this is so awesome, Zuko!” he exclaims.

“Yeah.”

“A dragon. For the new Fire Lord.”

“Yeah.”

“And--” Aang pauses. He rises to get a better look at Zuko’s face. “Are you...crying?”

“Of course not!” Zuko bites out. “There’s just something in my eyes!”

Toph snorts. “Yeah, alright.” 

She makes a joke about how Zuko does this every time she checks the heartbeat, while Aang suggests maybe using waterbending to see if it’ll be a boy dragon or a girl dragon. Toph laughs and says Zuko won’t be able to hide his crying if that happens. Zuko carefully blinks back tears before he snaps back at them for being right.

-

v.

Zuko joins his uncle for tea in the afternoon. His uncle has been busy with the efforts to reestablish peace, and they certainly still have more work ahead of them, but Zuko is happy to have him home again.

“I’ve heard rumours, nephew, that you have...secured your legacy.”

Zuko nods. He will never share the legacy of the Fire Lords before him, conquerors and tyrants alike. No, Zuko will be the bringer of peace and its champion too. He will teach kindness and compassion. He will restore culture, reform education, and continue to reinvent to match his people’s needs.

“Yes, uncle.”

“That’s good to hear.” Iroh pauses. “However, you are not married.”

“I...am not, uncle.”

“Perhaps--”

“There you are!” 

Zuko looks up to find Katara entering the room. In her arms is the dragon egg that he’d dropped off to her that morning because of some commitments. 

“Hey,” Zuko says, letting Katara’s settle the egg in his lap.

Katara then ignores him and decorum by rushing over to his uncle’s side. 

“Iroh!” she greets. “It’s so good to see you!”

“It is good to see you as well, Master Katara.” When she draws away, Iroh examines her up and down and then frowns. He quickly covers that up with a smile though. “Please, won’t you join us for tea?”

“I’d love to, but I promised I’d help Aang with some stuff. Are you free tomorrow morning?”

“For you, Master Katara, I will be.”

Katara laughs and sets a time before making her way out again. When she’s gone, Iroh looks at Zuko and stays silent.

“What?” Zuko asks. 

“It’s nothing.”

“Clearly it’s something.”

Iroh purses his lips, as if unsure if he should say what’s on his mind.

Zuko doesn’t understand why he suddenly seemed so disappointed. Zuko had just confirmed that he would no longer carry on their family’s legacy of destruction. Shouldn’t that make his uncle happy? But instead he saw Katara and looked sad. This was obviously Katara’s fault then. Katara’s fault for being--

Zuko stills. He looks down at his tea and then back up at his uncle’s solemn face. He exhales and finds angry steam coming out of his nostrils.

“Uncle,” he begins slowly, because he is a kind Fire Lord and kind Fire Lords don’t lose their temper with people, even gossiping uncles. “Were you under the impression that I...and Katara...” Zuko’s features contort into a scowl. He refuses to even say the words. “Uncle!”

“Now, now. You must forgive an old man for chatting with old friends over pai sho, nephew.”

“About my love life?!”

“But of course.” Iroh grins. “It is a very popular topic all over the world.”

“Uncle, please!”

-

vi.

As an ambassador for the Southern Water Tribe, Katara’s stays in the Fire Nation are long, but not permanent. She spends her last evening there with Zuko and the dragon egg.

“Based on everything we’ve read, the egg shouldn’t hatch for another three months.”

“That’s right.”

“I’ll only be gone for two months.”

“Correct.”

“I’m going to be back on time for the birth.”

“I know you will.”

“I’m going to be so upset if I miss it...”

“Don’t worry,” Zuko reassures. “Druk will wait for you.”

Katara grins. She likes the name he picked. She knows he spent a lot of time poring over a list of names of the dragons that used to be partnered with members of the royal family. The original Druk belonged to a Fire Lord from centuries ago whose reign was one of peace and prosperity. He was a huge patron of the arts and Love amongst the Dragons was written in his time. 

“Take care of yourself while I’m gone, okay?”

“Obviously.”

“Make sure you eat three meals a day.”

“I already do that!”

“Because I make you!”

“I missed a meal one time--”

“Yeah, per day!” She pokes his shoulder. “And make sure you sleep.”

“I will.”

“I mean it. I’ll know if you don’t.”

“Yeah? How will you manage that, waterbender?” 

The question comes out more coyly than he ever would have intended. And calling her anything other than her name has always seemed more flirtatious than intended. Granted, maybe he did intend it. Zuko smirks for effect, hoping he seems as cool to her as he wants to be. 

Katara narrows her eyes, lifting her chin a fraction and crossing her arms and--

Agni, it was happening. 

They were officially flirting. 

Zuko willed his beating heart to be still.

“I have my ways,” she drawls with a little grin of her own. But that soon fades into sadness. “I’m going to miss you, Zuko.”

Zuko nods. He’s going to miss her too. Katara has been around since he defeated Azula. He got used to her presence when they were still fighting in the war and he became at home with it during their stay in the Fire Nation. 

“Zuko...”

Katara leans forward and Zuko’s heart begins to race. Actually, it was already racing. Now it’s just beating ridiculously fast. This might actually be a health hazard, Zuko realizes. Perhaps Katara wasn’t good for him after all if she was going to make his heart go crazy and make his stomach hurt in that weird, stupid fluttering way all the time. Her lips twitch, puling into a pucker, and Zuko knows this is it. 

This is it. 

He closes his eyes, ready as if he hasn’t been ready for months now, and then--

Nothing.

He blinks, confused, and catches the back of Katara’s head as she stands back up and grins sheepishly. She pats the dragon egg strapped to his chest.

“I had to give Druk a kiss goodbye,” she explains.

“Right,” Zuko mumbles. “Druk.”

He tries not to pout. Really, he does. But apparently he doesn’t try hard enough because soon Katara is giggling. She reaches up, one hand cupping his cheek as her thumb brushes his skin.

“I’m going to miss you,” she tells him.

“I’m going to miss you too.”

Her gaze flickers to his lips and he watches the way she swallows nervously. Deciding it’s now or never, Zuko leans in, and is pleased when Katara meets his lips half way. It’s a bit of an awkward lean considering the dragon egg between them, but Zuko wouldn’t change a thing. He kisses her softly, unwilling to rush what he knows is going to be a good thing. 

Eventually they draw apart and Katara smiles shyly. “Will you see me off in the morning? Well, Ninja Zuko, not Fire Lord Zuko.”

Zuko nods, still a bit breathless. “Of course.”

-

vii.

Fire Lord Zuko’s less than standard choice of outfit is expected at this point. Gone is the initial sash Sokka made when they first realized the egg needed to be held at all times. He has new ones in a variety of colours. Some have even been gifted to him by other dignitaries on their visits, so Zuko has half a dozen shades of green. Today he wears the yellow one that Aang so eagerly gave him the other month. 

He looks ridiculous, therefore he stands out. And because he stands out, it makes an attempt on his life that much easier.

Of course, Zuko has the best guards in the entire world, and his attackers are dealt with swiftly.

Panicking, Zuko unwraps the yellow silk and carefully inspects the dragon egg. He frets until he finishes. 

“He’s okay,” Zuko breathes in relief.

“Good,” Suki says, “because I don’t think you were the target.”

“What do you mean?”

Suki nods to the egg. “They were aiming for that.”

“Druk?”

“Great.” Mai sighs as she looks up at the ceiling. “He already named it.”

“Of course I did!”

“I think Druk is a great name, Zuko!” Ty Lee says. 

Suki continues searching the room with her two new recruits. “Why would someone want to assassinate a dragon?” 

“Why wouldn’t they?” Mai turns to Zuko and finds him rewrapping the yellow silk around his body to cradle his dragon egg close. “A new Fire Lord supported not only by the Avatar, but by a dragon. No propaganda can beat that in the Fire Nation, especially when you started walking around with the real thing. They probably think you’ve been chosen by the spirits.”

“But dragons are extinct, Mai,” Ty Lee points out.

“So, what, that’s a toucan puffin then?”

“If someone wants Zuko out of the way,” Suki muses, “they know they need to get rid of that dragon before it’s born.”

“Exactly.”

Zuko rises, scowling in his Fire Lord regalia and the sling wrapped around him. Fire shoots out out of Zuko’s clenched fists. He might look absurd, but his expression is fearsome as he all but growls, “They can try.” 

-

viii.

Katara returns a few days earlier than expected. Maybe the tides had been kind to her ship. Maybe there was a master waterbender on board. Who knew. Fire Lord Zuko requests the Southern Water Tribe Ambassador join him for dinner, which she arrives to after a long day of napping. 

Zuko feels a weight lifted off his shoulders when he sees her again. She’s safe, she’s healthy, and if that smile is anything to go by, she’s happy too.

She tells him all about how much they’ve done to restore things to how they were back when she was a girl, along with all the other innovations Sokka’s bringing about. She talks about her grandmother’s cooking, her father’s leadership, and her brother’s antics. Tomorrow will include more official topics about the Tribe’s needs, but tonight is for catching up.

“I guess you enjoyed your stay,” Zuko mumbles, happy for her.

“Definitely. But if I’m being honest, towards the end I...” She meets his eyes for a moment, something akin to longing in her gaze, before she looks down at her plate. She shrugs. “I started to miss it here towards the end.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah. I really like swimming. And surfing. And...stuff.”

Zuko clears his throat. “You’re welcome to stay here as long as you want, you know. Permanently, even!”

“That’s not really how ambassadors work, Zuko.”

“Yeah. I know. Maybe in, um, a different capacity?”

“What do you mean?”

“Uh...”

A voice that sounds suspiciously like his uncle’s says Fire Lady, but Zuko will never ever say that to her face. Yeah, he’s probably in love with her. Oh, how he’s in love with her. And he’s vaguely positive Katara has feelings for him too. And they kissed before! But Zuko could never ask that of her right now. 

“I don’t know,” he says to save himself. He doesn’t do a good job, but Katara doesn’t push the topic.

“There’s still a lot of work to do,” Katara eventually replies.

Zuko manages not to groan at the understatement.  

“Here in the Fire Nation, but around the world too. These past few years have taught me that the world is wide and that I’m in a unique position to be helpful. If I don’t use what I’ve learned to help people in need...that just seems irresponsible.” She grins. “But I’ll come back. I’m always going to come back.”

“Wouldn’t you want to go...home?”

“Of course I’ll visit the South Pole, but...” She shrugs. “Home is very spread out now,” she explains with a small laugh. “Aang and Toph are going back to the Earth Kingdom after Druk is born, Sokka is already back with the Tribe, Suki is going back to Kyoshi when she’s done here, and, well, you’re here, Zuko.”

“I’m...home?”

Katara blinks, taken aback. “Did you think you weren’t?”

Zuko doesn’t say anything, too rattled by the admission, too overwhelmed by its meaning. Katara considered him home. Katara held him at the same esteem as people as precious to her as her family. Katara wanted to come back to him. Katara considered him someone worth coming back to.

“And now home is this guy too.” She rests her palm upon the dragon egg, dangerously close to his pounding heart.

Zuko’s hand rises on its own, settling gently over Katara’s. She looks up at him, startled, and he takes a breath.

“Katara, this is my home. It kind of has to be. But it’s, um, better when you’re here.”

“O--oh.” 

Katara’s hand shakes. Or maybe it’s his hand shaking and he’s affecting her too. It doesn’t matter though, because Katara turns hers over and laces her fingers through his. She holds his hand and she smiles. 

Agni, he loved her smile. Agni, he loved her.

His hand begins to grow sweaty. “Uh,” he self-consciously coughs. “Do you want to hold Druk?” Zuko pulls his hand away and rubs the back of his neck. “It’s been a while for you.”

Katara opens her arms to him and his dragon baby. “I’d love to.”

-

ix.

The first crack comes some time after midnight when Zuko is reading a report from the ever-growing stack in his office, with the egg nestled in his crossed legs. Zuko looks down, but doesn’t really see anything strange, so he keeps reading. But a moment later, the egg begins to shake. Eyes wide, Zuko finds himself frozen.

The egg wobbles as the single fracture on the side begins to grow like a web.

“Katara!” he hisses. “Katara!”

In this moment, he’s grateful she deigned to linger in his office and read those trashy romance scrolls Ty Lee shared with her. 

“What is it--oh!” Katara sucks in a sharp breath when she notices the way the egg moves. She rushes to his side and kneels down. “Is it--”

“It is!” Zuko, unable to move with the leg in his lag, grabs her hand. “What am I supposed to do?”

“I--I don’t know! I’ve only delivered babies!”

“This is a baby!”

“A dragon baby, Zuko!”

They both yelp when a clawed, red appendage breaks through the cracks.

“It’s...” Zuko reaches out for Katara’s hand, squeezing it as the little dragon inside continues to push his way out. “That’s it, buddy,” Zuko encourages. “You’re doing great.” He feels Katara place her free hand on his shoulder. She tells him to breath because at some point he stopped. He doesn’t do a good job listening though, so she begins to loudly inhale and exhale so that he can follow.

Soon another arm comes through, and one moment later, a little head pops through the top of the egg. 

Zuko makes a noise that might be a sob and lets go of Katara to help peel away the bits of shell stuck of the little dragon’s head. He blinks at Zuko with dazed golden eyes before his mouth opens into something that can only be deemed a yawn.

“Hi Druk,” Zuko whispers, holding his hand out to the little dragon.

Druk slithers out of what’s left of his shell and sniffs Zuko’s hand. He’s just a bit bigger than a newborn turtle duck, so it’s not a problem when he settles on Zuko’s awaiting palm.

Amazed, Zuko turns to Katara with the widest smile she’s ever seen on his face. “He likes me!” He begins to laugh as Druk crawls up his arm and over his head to the other shoulder. He presses his head against Zuko’s cheek and nuzzles him.

Katara rolls her eyes fondly. “Of course he does. I’m sure he recognizes that you’re the one who kept his egg warm for nine--”

She yelps when Druk takes advantage of Katara’s hand still on Zuko’s back, using that arm as a bridge to climb on her shoulder. His claws are tugging at her hair, albeit only lightly, and soon he’s rubbing his little head against her chin. 

“He likes you too!” 

Reminded of Zuko, Druk’s golden eyes snap back open and he leaps off of Katara and into Zuko’s lap. Fortunately, he’d had the sense to push the empty shell away when Druk was climbing around. Druk circles the space of his lap before finally curling up and settling down.

Utterly amazed, Zuko gathers his resting son into his arms and stands. He’ll need to prepare a place for Druk, but Katara says she’ll take care of that for now.

“Spend time with your newborn, Fire Lord.” 

At the window, Zuko considers showing Druk all that the light touches, but realizes it’s night and so he should wait until tomorrow. He laughs, still utterly astonished by this turn of events, and silently thanks the man who gifted him with the egg at his coronation. Druk twitches and resettles in his arms. He yawns and then he huffs with a little burst of fire escaping his mouth. 

Zuko looks down at Druk with adoration and excitement in his eyes. 

“I have a dragon.”

[wonwoosthetic]

Man Flu || Jake Gyllenhaal

Look for the tag “masterlist” on my blog :)

My first imagine in quite a while, I hope it turned out ok! :)

Thank you for the request, enjoy!!

Request by emmagrahambrooks: Hi :) I was wondering if you could write an imagine of a very sick Jake Gyllenhaal? He catches a very bad flu (with fever, vomiting etc) while in the middle of promoting a movie. Y/n is worried and tries to take care of him but he tries brushing it off until he faints on the job.

Warnings: fainting

Word Count: 2.211 Words

Man Flu

You had been home alone for three months, while your fiancé Jake was promoting his new movie "Spiderman: Far From Home" and although you were happy for him and excited for the film, the feeling of wanting to have him near you was starting to become unbearable. Also, last night when you talked to him on the phone to wish him a good flight home, he didn't sound healthy at all.

So, there you were, standing in the kitchen stirring a pot of soup while listening to whatever music was playing on the radio. The smell of your mother's recipe filled the entire room and gave you a warm feeling of nostalgia. Just as you were ready to turn off the stove, the sound of a familiar key ring hitting the door rang through your ears. Quickly, you made sure to take the pot off the hot surface and ran into the hallway at a quick pace, careful not to slip in your fuzzy socks.

Jake just got done with setting his suitcase on the floor, when you threw your arms around his neck to greet him with a tight hug. He caught you with a "hmpf" sound and closed the door behind him. He let out a big breath,

"Ah, it feels good to be home", to which you could only agree with a nod, "Feels good to have you back."

As soon as you separated again, you saw how pale he looked though, "but damn, you look like crap",

"and there I thought you greeted me nicely", he joked. You gave him a sly smile and went in for a kiss before he stopped you, "No, no, I don't want you getting sick as well." So you could only give him a kiss on the cheek after putting your hands on his face.

Shortly after, he noticed the smell, "What are you cooking?", while grabbing the luggage to bring it upstairs, but you interrupted him,

"You", you pointed strictly with a finger, "sit down and relax, I'll get it upstairs. A soup is waiting for you in the kitchen, just give me a minute."

"Don't be ridiculous, I can carry my own stuff", he argued but you had none of it,

"Jake, you literally look like you're about to faint at any second", you looked at him with pleading eyes, "please..."

He gave in with a sigh and carried his body into the living room.

On your way to the shared bedroom, you started to truly worry about your fiancé and the condition he was in - you had never seen him look that terrible. You put the suitcase in the corner right next to the door and went into the bathroom to grab the supplies you were sure you would need, then into the walk-in closet to get some comfier clothes as the jeans he was wearing looked way too uncomfortable for someone ill.

Back downstairs, you couldn't find Jake in the living room but heard drawers being opened and closed in the next room. Shaking your head in slight annoyance, you put everything down on the glass coffee table and walked through the open sliding doors that lead into the kitchen. Standing there, you saw him pouring himself some soup into a bowl while supporting his body weight on the side of the counter with his elbow.

"Jake, what do you not understand about sit down and relax", you ranted as you walked up to him and took the bowl out of his right hand and the ladle from his left.

"Y/N, I think I can get myself something to eat, it's fine", he tried to calm you down,

"No, it's not, I don't think you've looked at yourself."

"Thanks", he bluntly stated before walking back into the living room to sit down for real this time.

You quickly finished everything in the kitchen and followed him.

"I thought you might want to shower", you carefully tried to speak to him as you noticed that he clearly had gotten slightly annoyed.

"Thanks, babe", he accepted the bowl of soup you reached out for him to grab and put it on the pillow he had placed on his lap.

Sitting down next to him, you put your right hand up to his forehead and almost jumped, feeling how hot he was,

"Jesus, Jake...", your hand moved up to his hair to straighten it down in comfort. He moved his head away from you and carried on eating.

"I'm gonna make you a cup of tea", you sighed.

Ten minutes later, after the water was boiling hot and you had poured it into a mug with a Camille tea bag in it, you carried it carefully back into the living room, only to find your fiancé passed out on the couch. You smiled at how vulnerable he looked, placed a blanket over his body and decided to get ready for bed yourself.

In the shower, you started contemplating whether you should let Jake carry on with promoting Spiderman or call his assistant and tell her, he won't be coming tomorrow. But due to his current mindset and annoyance, you decided to leave this decision making to tomorrow. You understood that he wanted to do his job but you also wanted to make him realize how bad working would be for his body.

Fresh out of the shower and in your warm pyjamas, you entered your bedroom, to come to sight with Jake grabbing his pillow and blanket, looking ready to leave. Without a word he was about to walk past you when you stopped him, "What do you think, you're doing?"

"Sleeping on the guest bedroom, I don't want you getting ill as well", he looked you in the eyes and started walking again, but you grabbed his arm.

"Jake, stop. You sleep in the bed, I'll take the other room." You didn't even let him say anything more, but just grabbed everything from his arms and put it back on the bed. Not wanting to let his bad mood get to you, you continued, "Please just at least change your clothes, you've been wearing them all day, they can't be comfortable" before he could interrupt, you carried on, "AND drink the tea."

Jake heard the pleading and sad undertone and felt bad since he had not realized how rude he had been ever since arriving. After you straightened out the blanket on the bed, he walked over to you, gently grabbed your upper arms, and turned you to look at him,

"I'm sorry... for... how I've been acting", he caressed your cheek, "I appreciate everything you do for me but I'm fine", you gave him a look with raised eyebrows, "I am. It's probably just a man flu or something", he finished the sentence, making you laugh slightly. "Thank you for everything", he placed a soft kiss on your forehead.

"You don't have to thank me, that's my job", you smiled at him, "good night."

"Good night", he smirked, knowing or hoping that you weren't mad at him anymore.

Grabbing all of your stuff, you walked out of the room but not before informing him of one more thing, "Drink the tea", you asked him kindly. And that was the first time in a long time that you had spent the night in the same house but in different beds and it didn't feel right.

--- The Following Day ---

You woke up from a sleep of three full hours. It was impossible for you to sleep, hearing Jake blow his nose and coughing the entire night, knowing that you can't do anything more to help him.

After getting up and making the bed, you knocked on the bedroom door, waiting for a "come in" or something similar but nothing came. So you opened it and walked it but couldn't find your significant other in the bed or in the ensuite. Then you remembered that he had to do more interviews to promote the film in America and had probably already left.

Downstairs, you couldn't find any evidence of him having had breakfast or even drinking the tea that you reminded him of yesterday as it was still standing on the coffee table, now cold. You sat down on the sofa and put your head in your hands, thinking of all the ways you would be lecturing him as soon as he walked back into the house.

Not even five minutes later, your phone rang, startling you. You couldn't find it at first, looking on the table, under it, on the tv stand, until you found it under the pillow of one of the chairs in which you were reading your book yesterday. It didn't say the name, only showed a number, so you answered it curiously,

"Hello?"

"Hi, (Y/N)?", the voice sounded familiar but that early in the morning, you couldn't identify exactly who's it was.

"Yeah... sorry, who's this?"

"Victoria", she laughed, "right, sorry, I have a new phone number, you probably don't have it yet, sorry", and apologized.

"Oh right, I'm so sorry, I didn't recognize your voice at first", it was Jake's assistant, but you were still curious as to why she was calling you at half-past eight in the morning. "What's up Vic? Everything alright?"

She took a while to answer, "Well... not exactly.", this made your heartbeat quicken, "It's nothing too serious... but... Jake fainted. During an interview", she quickly continued, "but the doctor said it's nothing to worry about, he just overworked his body when he shouldn't have."

You huffed, "It told him to relax", and shook your head, "I wanted to call you this morning before he got up but I missed it, I'm sorry."

"No need, (Y/N). He's stubborn, I know", she joked.

You asked her for the address of the hospital he was in, ended the call, threw something on quickly, and exited the house before making your way there, ready to deliver a telling-off.

Finding a parking space was surprisingly easy but to find your boyfriend, not so much. The hospital was a lot bigger than the ones you were used to and had to ask three different front desk ladies, where he was.

Finally, reaching the right floor, you already came to sight with Victoria walking up and down the hallway but stopping as soon as she saw you, "Oh great, you're here, maybe he'll listen to you. I don't know what to do", she threw her arms up. "Why? What's going on?", you worried. "He wants to go back to the hotel to carry on with the interviews AGAINSt doctor's orders", she pointed out. You let out a big breath,

"You can go back, I'll talk to him", then you swore under your breath, "I swear, this man..." Before entering his room, you heard her say, "Good luck."

Inside, Jake was just putting his shoes back on but you interrupted him, "Are you out of your goddamn mind?! I told you to relax and now even the doctors tell you to and you STILL won't listen?!"

Your tone shocked him a bit as he has never seen you this furious, "(Y/N), babe, I'm fine. It was j-", "NO stop! Don't you dare talk yourself out of this. You don't get it. Yes, it might just be the flu or whatever but it can get worse and I think fainting might just be that", you moved your hands around wildly, clearly showing how distraught you were.

"You don't understand, I only have a week left and then I'm done with this, with promoting Spiderman, that's it. Then I'm fully back home again, I don't want to postpone it!",

"But your health is far more important than that!", you argued back. "But spending time with you even more!"

His sentence made you stop in your tracks and almost choke on your spit. Your hands went up to your face and rubbed your eyes tiredly.

"Jake...", you started a lot quieter and took a deep breath, as you didn't know how to continue, so he did.

"No. You... I don't know, maybe you don't feel that way... but I feel like the shittiest fiancé ever... for not being with you while you're planning everything and have to be alone at home all the time."

You went to sit down next to him on the hospital bed, "You're not the shittiest fiancé, not even in the slightest, trust me", you smiled at him, tears forming in both of your guys' eyes, "This is your job and I knew what I put myself into when I said yes", your right hand flew up to his cheek, carefully caressing it, "I love you and whether you're doing promo for one week more or not, won't change anything about that", that made him smile widely and he kissed the palm of your hand, "but you not listening to me might", you laughed jokingly.

"I love you too, I'm sorry", he apologized.

All of a sudden, he reached down to the floor to grab a bucket next to his feet and put it on his lap - and threw up. "Wow, you really know to ruin a moment." Your comment made him smile.

-----------------------------------------------------

Sorry for any grammatical or spelling mistakes, please ignore them! :) I hope you enjoyed it and thanks again to emmagrahambrooks for this request!

Hope you have a great day/night! :) <3

[macgyvermedical]

Email From My Parents’ Former Chiropractor, a Medical Review

I had to read that and now so do you. But guess what? I also get to tear it apart line by line with extreme prejudice. And not the bad kind. At. All. 

This went out to probably close to a thousand people.

People will die because of this email.

“We have been keeping up with the true data from the CDC and WHO that is giving very accurate information on this virus.“

I’m relatively neutral on this. The CDC and WHO are probably some of the most official sources. They’re a little behind (1-2 days for WHO, and both only update every 24 hours), but overall no one would fault him for citing them as sources. Here’s the source I’ve been using.

My biggest problem with that beginning is that the sentence structure is... alarmingly presidential.

“First, this is not a new virus. It's been known to cause respiratory problems since the 1960's.”

The group of viruses called “coronavirus” have been identified since 1965. But there are hundreds of unique viruses in this group, and 7 of them infect humans at very different severities. The most recent one, identified in December 2019 and now named SARS-CoV-2, is definitely a coronavirus, but it’s also definitely not one we’ve seen before.

“So far, the new coronavirus has led to more than 100,000 illnesses and more than 3,000 deaths worldwide.”

I mean, he’s technically right that it’s “more than” 100,000 cases. But this email went out today, when confirmed cases were a lot closer to 784,400 and deaths were 37,780 (see source above). Even the WHO numbers today are 693,224 and 33,106 respectively. So my best guess is he was writing this on March 7th (per WHO sitreps) and didn’t bother to update it before sending it out March 30th.

“In the U.S. alone, the flu has caused an estimated 34 million illnesses, 350,000 hospitalizations and 20,000 deaths this season... Per the CDC data, the flu virus as far more contagious and deadlier.”

This info is also substantially out of date. Currently, these numbers are 38 mil, 400,000, and 24,000 respectively.

I have to say, I did fall for the corona vs flu false equivalency once upon a time, but I’ve learned and grown a lot since then. We’re prepared for the number of hospital beds we need for (seasonal-not-pandemic) flu. We know how fast spreads and we have a vaccine that offers at least partial protection from it. We have widespread testing for it. We’re relatively comfortable with it’s severity and mortality rate.

But you heard it here last: with the data we have right now, none of those things apply to covid-19. We don’t have the beds, ventilators, or PPE to take all of it’s excessive illness on, which leads to higher mortality rates. It's more contagious than flu (infecting 2-2.5 people per infected person, vs seasonal flu’s 1.3). We don’t have a vaccine or significant natural immunity. We don’t have adequate testing, so we don’t know enough to know if anything we do know is close to correct. All of that makes it much, much worse than seasonal flu despite numbers.

“What to do? First, all patients are responsible for their own immune system.”

I mean, sure, okay, you have the responsibility to make the best choices you can for you in the situation that you’re in. That’s fair. And generally people do. But saying you’re responsible for your own immune system seems to imply that if you get covid-19, it’s your own dang fault because you weren’t responsible enough?

If that stresses you out, rest easy in that you don’t control nearly as much of your health status (look up the Whitehall Studies) and immune status (look up the Pittsburgh Cold Studies and a paper that came out of them titled “Types of Stressors That Increase Susceptibility to the Common Cold in Healthy Adults” by Cohen et al, 1998), as people like to think you do.

“When a bacteria or virus enter the body, your bodies natural immune system will attack this foreign body by creating an antibody that will destroy these foreign viruses or bacteria's (sic)...”

Okay, sure, that’s not a bad explanation.

“...So, when someone isolates themselves, the virus will still be "out there" and vaccinations will not stop the spread of any virus. A vaccination will force your body to make antibodies, which is the body's natural response to a virus. In other words, the virus will populate the world.“

I’ll be honest, I don’t entirely understand what he means with this passage, but I’ll give it my best shot.

If you never come into contact with a virus, it’s certainly true that you won’t ever get antibodies from it naturally. You also won’t get sick, and won’t have the opportunity to spread it to other people. That’s, like... the entire point of isolation.

But if a vaccine exists, that gives you the opportunity to have the best of both worlds- you get to make antibodies, and you never have to get sick! Score!

And if a lot of people have the antibodies, the illness can’t spread through the population (”herd” or “community” immunity), meaning that very few people get sick. You don’t have to be exposed to the virus after being vaccinated in order to become immune. The vaccine is literally the part of the virus the body needs to be exposed to to learn how to create antibodies.

He then goes on to list the ways in which you can build a strong immune system to fight covid-19. These suggestions include:

“Eat Healthy Natural Foods: These foods have the vitamins and nutriatiants (sic) your body needs to build its immune system.”

Sure, healthy food is good for you. No one’s arguing with you there.

“Get Adjusted: Every tissue in the body depends 100% nerve supply from the brain. These nerves carry all the cells information to repair and regenerate injured tissue. When the nervous systems is interfered with, this communication system between the brain and the tissue cells is weakened, therefore causing decreased immune response.”

This isn’t wrong so much as poorly worded. The brain (and vagus nerve) is involved in healing injured or infected tissues, particularly as part of modulating inflammatory response and eliciting reactions like vomiting, mucous production, and coughing to get rid of irritating substances. The inflammatory response kicks off the healing process, and we know that if the vagus nerve has been cut or in some other way interfered with, there is not as much inflammation across the board (which is why vagus nerve simulators have been shown to work against arthritis).

I’m not sure if there’s literature on chiropractic care improving this, but I certainly don’t think it’s impossible.

May I, however, suggest an editor at this point?

“Sleep 7-9 hours per night: Cellular regeneration happens mostly a night. Drink enough water: Dehydrate causes stress in the body, that will weakened the immune system.“

Great!

“Take natural supplements: These will help your immune systems, if you are not getting enough nutrients and vitamins through your healthy diet.”

Supplements generally aren’t necessary for most people (unless they have a diagnosed deficiency), but if you just like taking a multivitamin no one’s stopping you. Just don’t go overboard.

“P.S. Our team at [redacted] Chiropractic is super healthy. We follow the above guidelines!! We are asking anyone who may be ill, to stay home, or even more important get adjusted in our office [emphasis added]. Just let us know you are not feeling well and we will get you in and out with minimal contact with others. We take pride in cleanliness with all our patients. Hope to see you soon.”

I just... felt the need to leave that last paragraph in it’s entirety. If you’re all the way at the end of this post, you really deserve to read it again and let it sink in that he’s ASKING SOMEONE TO GO OUT IN PUBLIC WITH COVID-19 IN THE MIDDLE OF A PANDEMIC, IN AN AREA WHERE A “SHELTER IN PLACE” ORDER HAS BEEN ISSUED.

As medical facilities, chiropractic offices are allowed to stay open. I don’t mind this generally. A lot of people rely on chiropractic care for pain control and I would never want to take that away from them if there was another way.

But I work at a doctor’s office (sometimes). We are all but refusing to see patients in the office unless absolutely necessary to comply with social distancing rules and conserve PPE. If I were a chiropractor right now, I would be limiting my services to emergencies or people who really can’t get along without it, and encouraging people to NOT COME IN IF THEY KNOW OR SUSPECT THEY ARE SICK HOLY CRAP MAN STAP.

That’s like, the bare, bare minimum.

Thank you for reading.

[snelbz]

Lovely, Chapter 1 {ACOTAR}

A new joint project we’ve been teasing you with for months! @tacmc and I will be writing this mullti-chapter together. The posting will be similar to our last joint fic, Tending to the Fire. Just like TTTF, we will be alternating when posting chapters and there will be links on both of our Master Lists, so you’ll be able to read the whole thing, no matter who’s page you visit! The main difference from TTTF is the writing style.

Rather than trade off on writing chapters, every chapter will be written together. Whether that’s different POV’s, brainstorming via FaceTime, or literally picking up in the middle of the sentence the other was just working on, this entire story will be written as a team. We’ve talked about doing this for years and I’m so glad we’re finally getting the opportunity to make one of our dreams come true!

Now please, enjoy the first chapter of Lovely!

The sun was slowly creeping along the floor when Azriel’s alarm went off. As he rolled over to stop the incessant chirping, a small form stretched out from under the blankets and emitted a quiet noise of contentment. He lifted the sheet to see his small, black cat snuggling back up against his side. He gave the cat a light scratch on the back of her head and she opened her golden eyes a crack to look up at him before rolling over and snuggling back under the covers. Azriel laughed before throwing the covers off of the bed and standing up.

As he made his way down the stairs, he heard Nyx’s small paws hit the floor as she jumped from the bed and followed him, her bell jingling the entire way. The bell was an absolute necessity, seeing as the cat seemed to be made of shadow, appearing only when she wanted to. Reaching the kitchen, he scooped some food out of the bag and refilled her near empty bowl. She immediately set to devouring the food, the only noises her tiny bites and her bell clinking against the glass bowl.

As he poured himself a cup of coffee, he turned on the tv and mindlessly flipped through the channels, settling on a news station that was currently showing the traffic in Velaris.

One of the perks of owning your own business? You got to make your own hours. One of the perks of owning a tattoo parlor? Those hours were usually later in the day than most people. He never had to deal with traffic, especially since he only lived a mile and a half from his shop, but since he had some things that had to be done this morning, he’d be running around town and didn’t want to get stuck behind the accident that was currently causing a backup on I-24.

He decided to forego breakfast for a shower and headed back upstairs, still hearing Nyx’s bell ringing dully as it tapped the glass bowl. When he walked out of the steam filled bathroom and headed to his closet, he found her fast asleep in the same spot she’d been in earlier. His lips quirked up in a half smile as he dressed in his normal attire of all black, but rather than the hoodie and jeans he usually wore, he put on his black suit, with a black button down beneath. He gave Nyx a quick scratch behind the ears, much to her delight, and made his way back downstairs, stopping only to grab his keys and was out the door.

Sliding into the driver seat, he popped open the mirror and ran a tattooed hand through his messy hair one more time. He couldn’t shake the feeling that today was going to be different, that something monumental was going to take place. He didn’t know what it was, but he was going to be prepared for anything.

“Mr. Draeven, my client isn’t going to give up any of her days with your son, but is willing to give you an additional visit, supervised, of course, once every other week.”

It took everything in Azriel not to slam his fist onto the mahogany table before him. He lifted his eyes to the prick in the suit before him. It was designer, high end. The lawyer was clearly paid for by her father. Even with the ridiculous amounts of child support he paid each month, she wouldn’t be able to afford this man’s hourly rate on her own. Before he could say anything, his own lawyer spoke up.

“Azriel has done nothing but lost visits with Asher since Ms. Hamadi started this pointless custody battle,” Helion said, standing and walking around to the other side of the table, looking out the window at the Valeris skyline. He turned his back on the Armani clad man and Azriel watched as his face turned a bright shade of red. He had to stifle a laugh.

Azriel was absolutely lost in the midst of this custody battle, something that should never be happening if his son’s mother wasn’t hellbent on keeping Azriel from Asher. Helion had gone to high school and college with Rhysand and had become a friend of his own. If it wasn’t for him, for him being willing to take his case on pro bono, Azriel would lose any chance he’d have at time with his son.

When the papers has been served and Azriel didn’t know what to do, he called Helion and his friend immediately dropped what he was doing and was at Azriel’s home within minutes, looking over the papers with him.

She was trying to take Asher away from completely, no visits, no contact, on the grounds that he was unfit. Nevermind the fact that Azriel was a business owner, made charitable donations to the city, and actually had a job, unlike- unlike her.

Helion encouraged him to counter her, to claim that she was an unfit guardian. He knew she still went out and partied, spent most of her time at the bar, club or anywhere she could get fucked up. If she hadn’t still been living with her parents, parents he was sure were really the ones taking care of his son, she wouldn’t have a leg to stand on.

Rhys told him what he already knew, that she was still out drinking and leaving with different men every night. He didn’t like using his best friend as a spy of sorts, but since he was a bartender at her usual spot to pick up her latest prey, he did what he had to to build a case against her.

That was how all of this had started, how he even had Asher in the first place. He’d been drinking at Rhys’ bar, enjoying a long weekend with his family. Her teal eyes captivated him from across the bar. He was drunk enough that he silently slipped away from his group of friends, new shots being poured in front of him, and made his way over to her. He learned her name and asked her to dance. He’d spotted them watching him as she ground against him, Mor’s eyes burning into his own, but he was too far gone to care. She’d asked him to come home with her after that and he agreed, deciding this was a one time thing.

He didn’t meet random girls at the bar. He didn’t let them touch him like he was letting her do. He didn’t go home with them. But he made an exception that night.

And it was only once. They were only together once, but they awkwardly exchanged numbers the next day as he fumbled to get his clothes on and get out the door. Both claiming they would call, both knowing they never would. Azriel thought he’d never see that mess of blonde hair again. But he was wrong.

She came into Rhys’ bar all the time, somehow not realizing that the bartender was his best friend. She even hit on him quite a bit, an invitation Rhys politely but firmly turned down. Azriel always made eye contact with her but never acknowledged her, and she never seemed to even act like she recognized him. He knew it was better that way. No strings. It was done and over.

Until she stopped showing up at the bar for a few weeks and then one day his phone rang.

She was pregnant. She was pregnant and she was sure it was his.

He’d been at Rhysand’s when she called, had stepped out to the back porch to take the call. He’d vomited his lunch up onto the concrete slabs. His family - because that’s what they were, closer than friends - rushed out and watched him, his skin white as death, as he finished the conversation and ended the call, slipping it into his pocket.

“She’s pregnant,” was all that he said, and none of them had to ask who he meant. They had all seen them together that night.

So began an extremely frustrating 7 months for Azriel. He wanted to be a part of his child’s life, but she did everything in her power to keep him out. He’d call her almost daily, to find out when her next doctor’s appointment was. She’d lie, tell him a bogus date and time, and he’d show up at the OBGYN, only to find out her appointment had been the day before. She’d just claim she’d gotten the dates mixed up. He constantly asked what she needed for the baby and she’d say her parents had it covered. When he asked about the gender, she went ghost. He couldn’t get ahold of her for weeks and he nearly went out of his mind. She even kept him from the birth of his son, only finding out when a mutual friend shared a picture on Facebook.

He never tried to have a relationship with her. He didn’t want one and it was clear that she didn’t either. But just because he didn’t want a relationship with her didn’t mean she could keep him from having one with his son, his own flesh and blood.

After his meeting with the lawyers, which she just happened to never be able to make, he headed off to his parlor. He pulled off the interstate and started through town, passing Rhys’ bar and his apartment. The open sign was on and he debated stopping in, not for a drink but just to see his friend, to tell him about the latest mess she’d caused for him. He kept driving though and when he was less than a mile from his shop, he saw a red convertible pulled over on the side of the road. The hood was up and smoke was pouring out of it. The girl leaning against the trunk with her head in her hands looked so downtrodden that he felt it in his soul. He’d had a shitty day, too. Maybe he could help someone else’s be a little better.

He pulled his truck over to the side of the road behind her. She immediately lifted her head and looked up at him. This wasn’t a girl. This was a young woman. And she was the most beautiful woman he’d ever laid eyes on.

His hand froze on the door handle and he couldn’t tear his eyes away from hers. They were mesmerizing. Her hand fluttered to her chest and that small movement spurred him into motion. He hopped out and asked her, “Are you okay?”

His words seemed to snap her out of a trance of her own. She blinked once, twice and glanced back towards her car. “I- Yes, I’m okay. I was on my way back to work and my car just...stopped. It died.” She ran a hand through her brown hair, the sun bringing out the strands of gold. “I have to get back.” She pulled her bottom lip between her teeth and Azriel’s eyes snapped to her lips.

“I can give you a ride, if you want,” he said, throwing a thumb over his shoulder, towards his truck. He saw the hesitation on her face and gave her what he hoped was a soft smile. “Or I can take a look at it, if that would make you more comfortable.”

“Would you?” She asked, excitement ringing through her light voice.

“Of course,” Azriel said, removing his suit jack and tossing it in the passenger seat. He rolled his sleeves up, revealing the black ink that covered almost all of his body. He saw her eyes snag on whirls and swirls and made his way to the front of her car.

“I’m Elain, by the way,” she said, holding out her hand. He took it, shaking it once. “Better to do the introductions before you get all dirty.”

He laughed and nodded. “Agreed. I’m Azriel.”

“It’s nice to meet you, Azriel. Thank you so much for helping me.”

He blushed slightly. “It’s no problem. I couldn’t very well drive by without seeing if you were okay.”

She rolled her eyes and a small snort left her mouth. “It didn’t stop the rest of Velaris from doing so. I’ve been stuck here for almost 30 minutes”

He couldn’t explain why that made him angry, so instead of responding, he began exploring her car’s engine. He wordlessly moved hoses and opened caps carefully, letting the steam out as slowly as he could. He saw the gaping slash on the hose and stepped back, leaning a hip on the fender. “Well, do you want the good news or bad news?”

Her face paled. “Bad. Always start with the bad.”

He nodded. “Your radiator hose is busted. Not a hard thing to fix, but you definitely won’t be driving this back to work. The good news is it’s a really cheap fix.”

She groaned, face up-tilted towards the sky. “Of course.” She glanced back down at him, watching as he carefully lowered the hood. “Is that offer for a ride still available?”

He smiled at her and opened the passenger door. Elain glanced at the height into the cab and Azriel raised his brows, understanding dawning across his features. “Oh, sorry. It’s kind of a climb.” He grabbed a rag out of the back seat and whipped his hands off. After making sure his hands were absolute clean, he glanced to her waist. “May I?”

“Oh,” she blushed. “Sure.”

His hands wrapped around her slim waist and he lifted her up onto the bench. He made to shut her door and she said, “My purse!”

“Where is it?” He asked, already stepping toward her car.

“In the passenger seat, would you also grab the bouquet from the back?”

His eyebrows rose. “Sure.”

Heading to her car, Azriel thought of the reasons she would have a bouquet of flowers with her. She didn’t mention that she was on the way to the hospital, so condolences didn’t seem right. Same for the cemetery, though it wasn’t too far from here. He tried not to think of the most obvious reason, especially with how heart-stoppingly gorgeous she was: that she had a boyfriend. As he opened the rear passenger door, it became clear that had to be the case. The fluffy mass of peonies and buttercups was so lovingly made he knew it had to to cost a fortune. Only someone who cared for another so tenderly would be willing to pay that much for flowers.

Opening the door and stepping up into the truck, Azriel handed Elain her purse and flowers. He suddenly didn’t know what to say. Not that the short conversation they’d had was stellar by any means, but it had been easy.

“So,” he began, starting the truck. “Where am I taking you?”

He mentally slapped himself as he realized how rude that sounded. It didn’t seem Elain noticed though, gazing at the flowers, adjusting petals here and there.

She answered cheerfully, “You can just drop me off at Nova Café. I was planning on stopping there for lunch anyways, and I can walk to work from there.” She looked up and beamed at him. “Would you care to join me? My treat, for the ride and for looking at my car.”

Azriel only blinked at her. “I don’t want to cause any problems.” Now it was Elaine’s turn to stare blankly at him in confusion. “With your boyfriend,” Azriel clarified.

Elain laughed, placing a hand on her chest and blushing. “I don’t have a boyfriend.”

Azriel turned to look at her. “I just figured- With the flowers …” he trailed off.

“Oh, these aren’t for me,” Elain said, awkward laughter causing her the pitch of her voice to raise slightly. “No, I’m just delivering them. I did make the bouquet though.”

“You made that?” Azriel didn’t hide the surprise in his tone.

“Yes, that’s what I do,” Elain laughed. “I’m a florist. I own Bespoke Floral Boutique.”

The name was familiar in Azriel’s mind, but he couldn’t pinpoint how he knew it. “That���s amazing.” A genuine smile graced his features. “Lunch would be great.”

Nova Café wasn’t far from his shop, so it worked out well. They grabbed a quick bite to eat and chatted, the conversation flowing easily between them. Before he knew it, he looked down at his watch and noticed it was nearly 12:15. Elain had barely made a dent in her sandwich.

“I have an appointment at 12:30, so I’m going to have to get going” he said, rubbing the back of his neck.

Elain had been taking a bite of her sandwich and covered her mouth as she chewed before asking. “Appointment? Are you a doctor?”

The incredulity on her face didn’t offend him, it just made him laugh. “Definitely not. I’m a tattoo artist.”

“Oh,” she said, understanding lighting up her brown eyes. “I can definitely see that. I don’t have any tattoos.” She lifted her arms up, showing off perfect, pale, creamy skin.

“Well if you ever want to change that, gimme a call.” He smiled at her as he stood.

Elain blushed but looked down. “How can I do that when you haven’t given me your number?”

Azriel’s eyes went wide. A blush began to creep across his face as well. Elain pulled a pen out of her purse and scribbled her number onto her napkin before she handed it to him. “It was nice to meet you, Azriel.”

“You too, Elain.” He gave a her a dazzling smile, and a wink as he slid the napkin into his pocket, before heading out to his truck and heading to the shop.

As he parked the truck and looked back to make sure it locked, he saw why her flower shop had seemed so familiar.

Across the street, in a building so unlike his own, hues of pink and yellow and orange contrasting the black and greys of his own, was Bespoke Floral Boutique.

Cassian had a love/hate relationship with the night before he went back to work for the school year. He loved the idea of getting his instruments out of the closet, cleaning them all up, and setting up his room for the months to come. He loved the excitement that thrummed through his veins when thinking about the hopeful students that would be walking through his door in a week’s time.

But, he hated that Summer would be ending and he couldn’t sleep in until noon or spend his days by the lake with his friends.

He decided to spend his last night at the bar, sitting alone, on his third beer, chatting with the bartender.

“Where’s Az?” Cassian asked, taking a tip from the cold, glass bottle. “Have you talked to him? I called about an hour ago. Never answered.”

Rhysand shook his head while he poured a dozen shots of tequila for the bachelorette party a few seats down. “No, which probably means it didn’t go well this morning.”

Cassian grunted. He hated that Azriel couldn’t see his son. The whole situation pissed Cassian off to no end. Azriel didn’t like to talk about it, though. None of them pushed him to talk about it, but they could see the toll it was taking on him.

“Maybe I should go check on him,” Cassian said, draining his bottle and tapping the bartop for another.

“Don’t,” Rhysand said, popping the top off another and placing it in front of his friend, his brother. “He doesn’t want to be bothered. Enjoy your last night of freedom.”

“You make it sound like I’m going to prison.”

Rhysand chuckled as he dismissed his friend to tend to a tall blonde at the other side of the bar. Cassian checked his phone. Still no text from Az, and it was getting late. He had to be at work at eight.

It was time to go.

After a brief wave to Rhysand and a quick chug of his beer, Cassian was hurrying out the door and was tossed into the bustling streets of Velaris.

Although a Sunday night, the city was still crowded with groups of friends and giggling couples captured by the beauty of the Sidra.

Cassian breathed in the fresh air, shoving his hands into his pockets. He had a high alcohol tolerance but still liked to walk to and from the bar, just in case. Besides, he didn’t live too far away from the building in which he spent most of his nights - at least the nights that Rhysand worked.

The stars were bright, shining through the quickly growing crowds. Typically, in the cities, the stars were diminished by the bright lights of the streets and the buildings, but not in Velaris. Cassian tilted his head back and watched as he strutted down the sidewalk.

“Watch it, asshole!”

Cassian felt it before he saw her.

His eyes darted down to his foot, which was on top of a small, heeled black boot. When he met the eyes of its owner, he cringed.

With eyes like ice, a young woman about a head shorter than him was glaring.

“Sorry,” he said, stepping back. “Wasn’t paying attention.”

“Obviously not,” she muttered.

She attempted to step around him but he followed her lead.

She took a deep breath as Cassian asked, “What’s your name?”

“Can’t your overly large feet take you somewhere that isn’t an inconvenience for me?”

Cassian grinned. “You know what they say about big feet.”

“They’re attached to idiots?”

As Cassian laughed, the woman once again stepped around him but this time, Cassian watched her go.

“It was nice to meet you!” he called.

She gave him a vulgar gesture before turning the corner behind Rita’s, into an apartment building.

Feyre didn’t even realize, as she picked at her boring salad, that she was tuning Tamlin out. Something about hearing him gloat about the major investment he secured at work for the thousandth time wasn’t as exciting to her as it was to him.

“Isn’t that right, Feyre?”

She jerked her head up, looking around at the table of his colleagues. His grass green eyes were boring into her own. She could read the annoyance in them, the aggravation that she wasn’t fawning over him like the other broker’s wives and girlfriends were. She’d been content to sit this dinner out, to stay at home and paint.

Tamlin had told her, in less than sincere terms, that wasn’t an option.

“I was just telling Dagdan,” he motioned to a dark haired man down the table, “that one more deal like this and there will be a ring on your finger.”

A year ago and that thought would have filled her with joy. A year ago and nothing would have excited her more than the prospect of being Tamlin’s wife. But things had become different between them lately. More strained. More tense.

He had begun to treat her more as an object than as the object of his affections.

The declaration drew her up short. “We’ve never discussed- Tamlin, I-.”

The woman sitting directly to Dagdan’s left, Brannagh, if her memory was correct, chuckled under her breath. The woman was near identical to Dagdan. Twin, sister, lover? Feyre couldn’t tell.

“Is something funny?” Feyre asked, setting her fork down.

Brannagh’s eyebrows rose and she looked like a cat that had just spotted a fat mouse to play with. Play with, before it consumed it bite by bite.

“Nothing is funny,” Tamlin interjected, quickly turning the conversation into safer territory. As they spoke about their work, Feyre again tuned the group out. She moved her salad to the side and began to pick out a piece of chocolate cake. She didn’t eat it, just mashed it to pieces and began to use her fork to make intricate swirls of icing on the plate. She brought the fork to her lips to clean it off.

The fork was snatched from her hand, the plate removed from in front of her before she could realize what was happening. She looked up to find Tamlin moving it down the table. His coworkers were all finishing up and it seemed as if they’d finally be leaving soon.

“What are you doing?” She asked, incredulity slipping into her tone.

“You don’t need that,” he said, and threw a brazen glance at her body. “You should probably start running with me in the mornings, too.”

That quiet chuckle from Brannagh again and Feyre was seeing red.

“Excuse you?” she whispered.

“Need to take care of your body, especially if we’re going to be getting married. I need you to look your best, baby.”

In a flash, Feyre was on her feet, glass of wine in her hand. And then...it wasn’t.

Then it was in Tamlin’s face. And his hair. And his crisp white shirt.

Without a word, Feyre grabbed her purse and walked out of the restaurant.

Her phone started buzzing before she’d even made it 20 feet from the door. She let it it ring and ring, surprised he hadn’t physically come after her. She continued to walk, trying to put as much distance between herself and the restaurant before he could decide to follow her.

It wasn’t long before the clouds that had been rolling in all day decided to finally open up and all at once, it began to pour. Feyre cursed and looked around, trying discern where she could go to get out of the rain.

A doorway was nestled into an alcove and Feyre saw the neon open sign was lit. She ducked inside and leaned against the wall.

She was drenched. Absolutely and totally drenched. Water dripped off of her dress and ran in rivulets down her legs. She ran a hand over her face and looked around. It was only then that she noticed she was in a bar. A completely empty bar, not even anyone behind the counter to mix drinks.

A glance at her watch told her why. It was 8:45 on Sunday night. Most people were at home with their families. Most people would be gearing up for the work week or ready for school.

The thought had Feyre walking farther into the room and sitting at the bar itself. She held her head in her hands and tried her hardest to keep the tears from sliding down her cheeks.

“I’m never one to assume, but I think you could use a drink.”

The alluring voice a few feet to her left startled her and she quickly sat up, looking in its direction. Violet eyes stared back.

He was the most beautiful man she’d ever seen.

“Do you want a drink?” He asked, quietly, hesitantly.

Feyre’s voice cracked as she whispered, “Please.”

He didn’t say anything, didn’t ask what she wanted as he turned around and poured two quick shots of whiskey, a glass of Coke, and set them down in front of her. He picked one of them up. “What’s your name?”

She picked her shot glass up and said, “Feyre.”

He clinked his glass against her own and said, “It’s nice to meet you, Feyre. I’m Rhysand,” and tossed the shot back.

[halothenthehorns]

ARAGOG

  ARAGOG

Remus took the book very unwillingly, not looking any kind of excited to see how right they were about those 'attacks a day.'

The weather was showing its end of the year spirit, showing the brightest of blue skies and the grounds bursting with garden life.

"Sounds lovely," Lily sighed, wishing her favourite time of year wasn't so amok due to the events of this year.

The inside of the castle was the opposite. Every face inside was now permanently etched with worry and fear now that Dumbledore was gone. Harry and Ron were now barred from entering the Hospital Wing, Madam Pomfrey fearing that someone could return and finish off the students inside.

All five of them winced, James saying, "err, yeah I guess that could be a possibility. We still don't even know why those students were attacked."

"Man this is depressing," Sirius huffed,"makes me wish for the old years where the students were just being hauled out of school because of paranoid parents."

"That wasn't any more comforting," Remus snorted.

The corridors were barren, students could no longer linger around and chat as usual, and any laughter that could be heard faded quickly.

"Now that I remember," Lily sighed.

"I couldn't stand that after my third week," James sighed, "I grew up in a pretty quiet house, I wasn't going to stand a quiet school!"

Harry kept turning Dumbledore's last words over in his head, but who was he supposed to ask for help? The teachers looked just as confused and scared as anyone.

"I thought he meant it more metaphorically," Lily grinned, "not literally."

While Harry smiled at his mother for the light comment, he also sighed, wishing he had someone to turn to back then.

Hagrid's comment was much easier to understand, but the problem was there seemed no spiders around. Ron wasn't very eager to help find them.

"Yeah," Remus nodded, "I picture Ron looking for spiders like Sirius looking for a dragon's nest."

Sirius huffed and muttered something under his breath.

They didn't get much of a chance to look though, as they were being herded through the corridors by teachers, much to Harry's exasperation.

"As would I," they all agreed, that sounding annoying.

The only person who looked to be enjoying this new mood was Draco, who had been seen strutting about and preening in pleasure.

"He's really trying his hardest to make himself not look suspicious, huh?" Sirius laughed.

Harry wasn't sure what he was so happy about,

"He's pleased because his wish came true," James growled to himself, "wasn't he the one who wished it was Hermione that got petrified next?"

"Thanks for that reminder," Harry grumbled, his fists balling up all over again.

"Are we sure Malfoy doesn't have something to do with this?" Sirius asked. "Cause if you ask me, he's still taking this too lightly."

"Well, since nobody but Muggleborns have been attacked yet, I'd have to say he doesn't have anything to worry about," Lily sighed.

until he overheard him talking loudly in their next Potions about how happy he was his own father had been the one to get rid of Dumbledore.

"Oh yes, now let's brag about your father getting rid of the greatest headmaster ever," Remus growled.

"I will genuinely sob if someone doesn't punch that kid in the face soon," Sirius hissed.

Going on in high spirits about how the next Headmaster hopefully wouldn't even want to close the Chamber.

"I shudder at the thought," James sneered.

"What, is he hoping his dad will be the new headmaster as well?" Lily asked.

"Wouldn't surprise me," Sirius gagged at the thought.

McGonagall surely wouldn't last long.

"No," Remus snapped, "if the worst happens and Dumbledore really can't come back, they'd have to kick her out as well before being able to replace with their own Headmaster. Even then,

McGonagall has her own right to designate her own second."

"You kind of scare me when you start ranting like that," James told him honestly.

Remus shrugged, only simmering down slightly.

Then Malfoy turned to Snape and asked if he was going to get the job next?

"Then I'm sure I'd roll over in my grave," James hissed to himself.

Harry suddenly felt like he'd been sucker punched between the eyes, but surely he must be misunderstanding Malfoy. There was no way in Merlin's pants that Snape could ever get ahold of that position...right?

Snape was clearly pleased, unable to suppress a horrid looking smile,

"I'm sure he's just sobbing with grief," Sirius grumbled.

but he corrected Malfoy that he was sure Dumbledore would be back soon. Malfoy disregarded this and said that Snape would have Mr. Malfoy's vote should he apply, how Lucius had always said Snape was the best teacher at this school.

"If he kisses up to him anymore, I'm going to be forced to make a very lame brown nose joke," Sirius huffed.

"For the love of Merlin, please don't," James groaned. "Since most of your jokes are bad enough as is."

Snape was still smirking as he turned away, thankfully missing Seamus faking vomiting into his cauldron.

All five of them cracked up laughing at this, finding it a more than appropriate response.

Malfoy was still talking, saying how he was stunned the Mudbloods hadn't jumped and left themselves yet,

Remus finished that sentence with a foul taste in his mouth. He hated how casually this child threw that word around.

and said that he was positive the next one would die. He was just sorry it wasn't Granger.

"I can't believe this," Lily gasped, losing a shade of colour. "Who could say something like that? Let alone a child?"

The other three boys agreed, but Harry puzzled over something. He had a distinct feeling that, when it came down to it, Draco wasn't a killer. What on earth could possess him to think this? No one noticed his silent questions, Remus was already done agreeing with Lily and moving past this.

The class was moving towards the door now, cutting off Ron's attempts from lunging at Malfoy.

"Attempts?" Sirius frowned in annoyance, "who's stopping him?"

"Sirius think about it," Remus sighed, "he's in Snape's classroom."

"I don't care," James snapped, backing up his friend, "I'll take fifty detentions just to punch that git in the face for saying something like that."

Harry shook his head sadly from side to side, saying, "while I agree with you, Snape would have stopped Ron before he even started. Then he would have gotten the detentions, without the

satisfaction."

"I love it when you reason things out like that," Remus grinned, "shows a lot more thought than these two ever did, or even Lily for that matter."

"I've no idea what you're talking about," she grinned.

"Don't even," James huffed, sitting back in his seat, "we all know you've got a temper, and you would have cursed this kid sky high given half the chance. So far the only one who can keep their heads in this sort of thing is Remus, and Harry it seems."

Harry just smiled and shrugged.

Harry and Dean were holding him back from doing anything rash, despite Ron's very verbal protests that he didn't need his wand to kill Malfoy with his hands.

"There's that to," Remus chuckled, "he doesn't want to go puking slugs up again now does he?"

"Like he said though," Sirius shrugged, "fists can work just fine."

Harry and Dean still wouldn't release him until Snape had escorted them all to Herbology, when the Slytherins went back inside and they were standing outside the greenhouses. The class seemed very off with two of their numbers now missing.

All five of them shivered at once, hating to hear that aloud once more.

Sprout set them the assignment to prune an Abyssinian Shrivelfig, and Harry turned to see himself facing Ernie Macmillan.

"Not this one again," James groaned, placing his face in his hands, "I already want to punch one twelve year old in the face today!"

"I really hope he's not going to start throwing insults at you again in the middle of class," Lily huffed.

Harry tensed up for another fight, but Ernie surprised him by apologizing to Harry for ever thinking it was him.

"What's this?" Sirius asked, craning around and trying to pull away the book.

"Knock it off Padfoot," Remus griped, keeping the book closer to himself, "and let me read. I think I like where this is going."

He said how he was foolish to think Harry could hurt Hermione. Then he offered his hand.

"Well that was nice," Lily said, brightening at once.

James hesitated for a moment before nodding and saying, "any kid who can admit they were wrong, and then apologizes like that. Yeah, guess this kid's not all bad."

"Still a gullible idiot," Sirius grinned, then nodded along saying, "but not all bad."

"Well this couldn't have worked out better," Remus smirked, agreeing full heartedly with the other two, "hopefully the rest of the school follows that same line of thinking, and you'll stop getting rumours following you around."

"I sure hope so," Harry agreed.

Harry took it and let the whole matter go, so Ernie called over his friend Hannah and they all started working on the same plant. Ernie began the conversation by stating how he'd instead come up with a new idea for the Heir of Slytherin, Malfoy.

"Now he's at least more on the right track," Sirius grinned.

"To bad he's wrong," James huffed.

Ron snarked back that he must feel so smart, clearly not as forgiving of his earlier slight as Harry was.

"And that's how a real friend does," Sirius nodded, "even if your mate stupidly gets over it, you hold a grudge for him."

"That doesn't make any sense," Lily rolled her eyes at him.

Sirius just shrugged, it made perfect sense to him.

When Ernie asked if Harry agreed, Harry said no so forcefully, it made the two Hufflepuffs stare.

"Well that wasn't very thought out," Remus out right laughed this time, "you should have at least given a good reason as to why you thought not, or even better agreed with them. Just because you know they're wrong, doesn't mean you can't indulge them."

"I didn't see the point in spreading rumours," Harry defended, "I hate them, even aimed at people I don't like."

"Maybe he's less like Remus then I thought," Sirius grinned.

Then Harry's attention was distracted by spotting some spiders scuttling over the grass through a crack, and Harry hit Ron's hand with the shears to get his attention.

"Ouch," Sirius winced, "what was that for?"

"To get his attention," Harry pointed out.

"A simple poke would have been kinder," James laughed.

When he pointed out what he saw, Ron looked far from happy, and when Harry followed their path further he noticed that they must be heading for the Forbidden Forest.

Lily then said something very unladylike.

"Mum?" Harry asked in concern.

"You're not actually going to follow them in there are you?" She demanded, going a little wide eyed.

Harry mulled that over for a moment before shrugging and saying, "if I give you one of my gut answers again, are you still going to be mad if I'm right?"

"That's a yes then," she moaned, beginning to gnaw on her lip at once.

"This can't be good," Sirius huffed, "this can not be good."

Harry thought back to the stories these boys had been telling him about the Forbidden Forest, and then agreed out loud with Sirius.

"So you lot have never seen where the spider's den is?" Lily asked pitifully.

"Nope," James shook his head sadly. "We followed them in pretty far once, but then we came across some that were twice the size of us. We hightailed it out of there and never went back."

"Why would Hagrid say to follow them anyways?" Remus demanded. "It didn't even occur to me that when he said to follow the spiders, he meant the ones that would lead him into the forest!"

"Where else did you think they would lead?" Harry asked.

"I don't know, maybe to the chamber, or if you followed them backwards, to where the monster was hidden. Not to their den!"

"This isn't going to be good," Harry sighed, before encouraging Remus to go on anyways. None of them looked the least bit happy about this.

Ron looked even unhappier about that.

"Can't imagine why," Sirius muttered.

When that class let out, Professor Sprout had to take them all to their DADA class.

"Great," James huffed, "even more of an annoyance to deal with."

"Believe it or not, I'd take a double Dark Arts class with him over that bleeding forest," Lily shuddered.

Harry and Ron fell behind to the back of the group as Harry whispered to Ron that tonight they were going to put the invisibility cloak back on and head out there. They'd take Fang along, since he always travelled the forest with Hagrid.

"Now that's fair," Remus nodded, "last year Hagrid did say nothing would hurt you with Fang around."

"Think that holds true for the giant spiders?" Sirius asked. "They saw me and didn't have a problem trying to eat us."

"I don't think it works with just any dog," James disagreed. "It might just be Hagrid's dog in particular."

"Here's hoping," Lily murmured.

Ron agreed without any enthusiasm. Then he voiced out loud a common rumour that werewolves had been seen stalking that forest.

"So glad that rumour never died out," Sirius chuckled as a brief distraction.

Harry chose not to answer that,

"Oh that was comforting I'm sure," Lily muttered.

and instead reminded Ron of some of the good things going around there, like the centaurs and unicorns. Ron had never had the pleasure of being in the forest before, and Harry's one escaped had not led him to want another go. They'd reached their next class by this point, and Lockhart came bounding in with high spirits.

"As blundering and useless as always then," Remus grumbled to himself.

When he saw the students all sitting quietly and tense, he demanded to know what they were so upset about.

"I'm not even going to answer that," Sirius declared.

"Thank you," Lily said sincerely.

No one bothered to answer him, and Lockhart was all too happy to point out to them that the danger the school was in was gone! The person who'd done these terrible things had been arrested.

"Oh please," James huffed.

Dean demanded to know how he knew that, and Lockhart laughed lightly before pointing out that the Ministry would have never arrested Hagrid if they weren't positive he was the one.

"And here I thought he couldn't get more stupid," Lily said in disbelief.

"The Minister was covering his own arse by taking in someone who hadn't done a thing wrong-" Sirius began hotly.

"Yes Sirius, we know, and it is wrong," Remus pacified, "but stop that now so I can read."

Sirius slouched back and kept up his muttering anyways.

Ron shouted back that yes they sure would. Lockhart brushed him off by saying he knew far more about the goings on of the situation then Ron.

"You flatter yourself too much," Remus snapped in disgust.

"Besides, I doubt you know a touch more about anything over a toddler. I'm one hundred percent sure my little four month old upstairs could do more magic than him," James growled.

Ron was about to bite back and say he definitely knew otherwise, but Harry kicked him.

"Ron seems to be getting attacked by you a lot today," Lily grinned.

"He is acting out," Remus noted in surprise.

"I'd be even worse if one of my friends had been attacked," Sirius defended.

Shushing him and reminding him that they weren't actually supposed to know anything. Still, Harry was half tempted himself to chuck Gadding with Ghouls at Lockhart by the end of class.

"Slow applause for your show of strength anyways," James sighed.

He contented himself with instead writing a note to Ron that they were going to do it tonight.

"Can't you do it never?" Lily muttered under her breath.

Ron hesitated, glanced at Hermione's empty seat,

"Best motive for doing anything ever," Sirius agreed.

and nodded his agreement. That night drew on much longer than usual, the twins having come over and decided to play a few rounds of Exploding Snap,

'Well that was rather nice of them,' Lily thought, noting they hadn't really been known to do this yet, and she couldn't help but wonder if Ron's siblings were trying to be extra nice to him in sympathy for the temporary loss of his friend.

while Ginny slumped in Hermione's usual chair and looking rather morose about it. Harry and Ron kept losing on purpose,

"I guess I can see the point of doing that," Sirius shrugged, "but still, wouldn't that look a bit suspicious?"

"They didn't seem to notice," Harry shrugged.

and finally Fred and George grew tired and went to bed along with their sister. Harry and Ron took the chance, went upstairs for the cloak, and once again left the tower.

"Well here you go boys," Lily snarked, "Harry and Ron are finally doing something with the cloak you should approve of."

"Please Lily," James moaned, "is now really the time for that? Yes, we snuck into the forest all the time, but we never intended to go find giant man eating spiders, except for one time! Then we didn't again when we realized how bad they were, give us some credit."

Lily tried for a smirk, she had been trying to push some humour into the room, but it didn't seem to hold the same effect.

They once again had problems with stealth, the teachers still constantly patrolling all of the floors, but they still managed to make it onto the grounds without getting caught.

"It really should be harder to get out of the school," Lily noted.

"Nah," Sirius disagreed, "I insist they make it easy on purpose. The teachers know we need out of the castle more than they allow." Present time excluded of course, where they were clearly going out of the way to stop them.

"Soundless logic as that is," Lily snorted.

Ron tried to convince himself that maybe the spiders hadn't really been headed for the forest, they could have veered off in another direction.

"Poor kid," Remus winced, "boy is he in for surprise."

They made it to Hagrid's hut, and Harry let Fang out

"Oh, please tell me that someone's been letting him out," Lily fretted.

"I think someone said something about McGonagall taking him out," Harry soothed.

"That's an adorable thought," James grinned, "picturing her coming out and around and taking Fang out to go potty."

who began barking with mad joy. Harry quickly fed him some of Hagrid's food which promptly sealed the dog's jaw shut.

Sirius started laughing very loudly, and it took him a moment to calm down before he breathed out, "I think that's base torture."

Harry decided to leave his cloak inside Hagrid's place, as he didn't really think he'd have use for it in the already dark forest.

"I disagree," James scoffed at once, "there are plenty of reasons you don't want to be seen in the forest. Fold it up and carry it or something."

Harry just shrugged, he had nothing to say to that and it was already done.

They walked over to the edge of the forest, where Fang promptly lifted a leg and pissed on the nearby trees.

"Well at least he's going to have a good time," Remus chuckled.

Harry took out his wand and used the spell Lumos to light the tip of it, giving him a glow of light. Ron said he'd do the same, but his wand would probably set the whole forest on fire if he tried.

"That's probably true," Sirius snickered.

Harry glanced around at his feet, and sure enough, came across some spiders heading in. Ron sighed, but didn't argue the point and led them inside.

"That's some friend," James grinned from ear to ear, "walking into literally a real fear just to find out a secret that might help his friend."

"Best kind of friend there is," Sirius and Remus both grinned, Sirius privately thinking he'd brave a dozen dragons' den if it would stop this catastrophe of a future he was hearing about.

It wasn't easy, keeping track of the tiny black crawlers going over leaves and through bushes. Many times Harry lost sight of them and it took some time to come across some more. Deep into the woods, they caught sight of them again, heading off the path.

Lily shuddered in disgust, remembering Hagrid's words clearly about not leaving the paths, though also trying to comfort herself with knowing that these four boys in the room had obviously ventured off the path and seemed to be alright. Still, she herself didn't much like the idea, no matter how much she heard about it.

Harry hesitated as he clearly remembered Hagrid's words of warning against this,

"Sound advice," Lily sighed out loud this time, "wish you would have followed it," clearly to herself.

but Hagrid wasn't here, and they had to do something. Harry was startled out of thinking when something cold touched Harry's hand, and he startled so bad he jumped onto Ron's foot, but it only turned out to be Fang's nose.

"Jumpy much," Sirius said in forced light tones, not finding it remotely funny.

Ron shrugged it off and pointed out they'd come this far already, they may as well keep going.

"No, the correct response to that was, we shouldn't go any farther," Remus muttered under his breath.

So deeper they went, until Harry's tiny light was the only break in the darkness. At some point the ground began to slope beneath them,

"And that's about when we ran into the giant spiders," James nodded in remembrance, "when the ground began sloping towards the middle of the forest."

"That was not comforting, in the slightest," his wife informed him.

and Fang scared them both again by barking.

"Not good," they all muttered. Anything Fang barked at was never good.

"Thought Fang had his jaw glued shut?" James randomly giggled as a distraction.

"It wears off," Harry reminded, pointing out how he'd earlier wrenched his jaw apart to snap at Hagrid about his crack in wanting a signed photo.

Ron was going pale with fear, his eyes shifting around to figure out what had startled the dog. Harry whispered that he could sense something big, listening intently.

"Please tell me you just run away once you find them," Remus hissed without any conviction.

They both remained tense and frozen, Ron consistently muttering 'no' under his breath,

Even as Remus read that, he could hear the faint echoing of it in the room from the other occupants. No one wanted Harry anywhere near...well anything that was big and in the forest.

and Harry could feel himself growing even more stressed as time elapsed and nothing happened. When Harry said this out loud, Ron muttered whatever it was, was probably getting ready to pounce.

"I don't want Ron to answer questions anymore," Lily muttered.

Still they stood there, until finally a bright flash of light,

"Light?" Sirius asked in confusion.

"You think a teacher followed them out?" Remus asked curiously.

"Nah, or they would have been stopped long before this," James disagreed.

"Then what would cause a light in the forest?" Sirius asked redundantly.

Since none of them had a real answer, Remus read.

came boring down on them. Fang startled and tried to make a run for it, but only managed to get tangled up in a thorny bush.

Lily very much wanted to feel sympathy for the poor dog, but she was far more worried about her little Hare Bare and his extremely vulnerable, wandless, friend.

Harry was blinded and blinking spots out of his eyes, when Ron sighed in relief and exclaimed it was the car!

"The car?" they all repeated in confusion.

The fear that had been mounting in Harry's face suddenly relaxed again to confusion and slight amusement. "What on earth would the car be doing there?"

"Did no one ever go and get that thing out of there?" Remus demanded, rubbing at his chest from delayed fear.

"Wow, that car's just been running around the forest this whole time?" Sirius asked, slightly bemused, and trying to shake off his want of screaming from the mounting fear.

"Better it than Fluffy," James muttered.

Ron wasn't wrong. Harry finally made out the shape of Mr. Weasley's Anglia, which was scratched and muddied, but nudging up to Ron like an old dog greeting its owner.

"Wow, Mr. Weasley must have had the car for ages for it to be so imbued with magic," Lily said, rather impressed.

"Kind of want to enchant my bike like that now," Sirius said, grinning brightly, "looks like it might be loyal."

Lily dearly wanted to smack him for that, not finding it funny in the slightest.

Ron was laughing with relief as he patted the hood and noted that the car must have been running around the forest this whole time turning wild. Harry went over and got Fang untangled from the bush, and then joined Ron while putting his wand away.

"No," James shook his head frantically, "I'd still keep that out." He couldn't quite get the image out of his mind of the last time Harry had been in the forest. Sure he had better backup then Malfoy now, at least Ron wouldn't run at the first sight of trouble, but with a broken wand he still didn't feel that secure about the place as normal.

It didn't hold Harry's interest long though, as he told Ron they'd lost their trail of spiders and they had to get going.

"Can't you just get in and go back to school," Lily groaned.

"Now what would have been the point of going out there?" Harry asked rhetorically.

Ron did not respond. He was looking ten feet above Harry's head.

Remus' voice began pitching with fear, this didn't seem good.

A fixed look of terror in place.

"Well that's not good," Sirius whispered, right in line with Remus' line of thinking.

Harry didn't even get a chance to turn around, as something caught him around the middle and he found himself dangling upside down.

Lily's mouth was half sagged open, like she wanted to scream but couldn't find the air. Harry gave her a very concerned look and asked, "ah, Mum?"

"Ten, ten feet," she stuttered, then gave a great shiver as if trying to shake them off herself.

"I, dang yeah, they were about that big," James was a little off colour as well.

"I hate acromantulas," Sirius muttered, rubbing goose bumps out of his arm.

"But I'm fine," Harry reassured at once, "and this trip is really important, I'm sure of that."

"So long as you and Ron come out with all four limbs," Remus huffed.

Harry tried to get loose, but whatever was holding him seemed not to even notice. Harry spotted Ron and Fang in the exact same situation, all of them being carried away farther into the forest.

"Fang's probably why they didn't eat you outright," Remus reasoned aloud, "like Hagrid said, the spiders must have recognized Fang and knew not to attack."

"I really kind of want to know now how Hagrid made a pact with spiders," Sirius said honestly.

"Whatever he did, thank Merlin for it," Lily shuddered again one more time, that horrid mental image of her boy being clutched in a sea of spiders still not quite leaving her, "because it's

probably what saved these boys' lives."

Harry caught sight of what was carrying him, and wished he hadn't. Six legs were marching along, while the front two were holding him aloft above sharp pincers.

All five of them gave one last wince of disgust, hoping the book would quite describing this now.

There were dozens more all moving across the leaves, and before he knew it the car had faded away.

"Wish the car had gone to protect them or something," James muttered.

"I think it was trying to," Sirius offered, "seems a bit of a coincidence it just showed up then yeah? Personally I think it was trying to warn them to get out of there."

"Too bad they didn't listen," Lily huffed, giving Harry a sidelong look which he sheepishly ignored.

When Harry's vision adjusted to the dark ground again, he saw the floor of the forest was nothing but a carpet of the smaller spiders.

"Okay, I don't even have a fear of spiders, and I'm starting to freak out," James gaped.

"Poor Ron," Sirius agreed, "and you," he added on thoughtfully to Harry when he saw his pup watching him.

They were brought into a natural den, surrounded on all sides by the carthorse sized arachnids.

"How big do they get?" Lily asked in disgust.

"They keep growing until they die," Remus seemed to be regretting having to answer, but willing to anyways for their benefit, "and they can live for up to sixty or seventy years. They also have some form of a hierarchy, a dominant male and female, that continue reproducing until the mother of the group is too weak to fend off the young. Once they grow too old, their young will eat them, and a new hierarchy will start to form."

"That was more than I ever wanted to know about them," Lily grumbled, "but thanks all the same."

They were dropped onto a thankfully spider free patch of leaves, and Harry was now staring at the largest spider web he'd ever seen in his life. Fang was dropped on one side, the dog nonstop whimpering, his tail tucked up tight beneath him. Ron fell on his other side, his eyes so wide they looked likely to fall out of his head, and his mouth seemed frozen in a scream he couldn't get out.

"He must be living in a nightmare right now," Sirius said pityingly.

"There goes any hope of Ron getting over his fear of spiders," James agreed.

Harry's ears then tuned into the fact that the spiders were speaking.

"They speak?" James demanded in disgust.

"How smart are they?" Lily yelped.

"Human smart," Sirius and Remus both said.

"They just get better and better," Harry muttered.

They were calling out the name Aragog.

Harry went bright eyed for a moment, nodding to himself as yet another name slide into place in his mind. It wasn't a very important name, of that he was sure, but one that he felt he should have remembered vividly and feeling pleased he now could.

The largest spider of all came climbing up the web, equal in size to a small elephant, each of its eyes pure white. This spider was blind.

"That is almost funny," Sirius said curiously.

"Just as dangerous without his eyes," Remus disagreed, "so whatever you're thinking, the answer's no."

"You're no fun," Sirius told him, while privately he was scoffing. Like he really wanted to go anywhere near those things.

The underling spiders announced they'd brought humans, and Aragog at once asked if it was Hagrid. When they said no, he simply said to kill them,

"Yeesh, harsh much," James winced, going several shades paler.

that he'd been sleeping.

"And now we know not to disturb you during your nap," Sirius grumbled, "next time, we'll give you notice."

Harry found his tongue and shouted out that he was a friend of Hagrid's.

Remus nodded, knowing on instinct this was the best thing to say right then.

Aragog hesitated then, telling how Hagrid had never sent people into their place before. Harry explained that Hagrid was in trouble, and was shocked to hear Aragog repeat this with concern in his pincers.

"Aw," Lily said in surprise.

"Wow, I'm genuinely impressed," Remus agreed, "most acromantulas don't form human bonds. In fact, I'm almost positive this is the same giant spider that Riddle tried to kill, and Hagrid

protected."

"It would make sense," James nodded.

"Well then thank Merlin for Hagrid's oddity with monsters," Sirius shrugged.

Then he asked what had happened, and Harry said that Hagrid had been blamed for something going on at the school, that he'd been sent away to Azkaban. This didn't seem to be the right thing to say, as the spiders all around him began smashing their pincers, making it sound like a horrid mockery of applause.

"Not a good idea to be agitating them right now," Sirius fretted.

"I'll keep that in mind," Harry responded calmly, giving all of them a chance to give him a weak smile.

Aragog protested that all that had happened years ago. Harry spoke of how it was all happening again, then asked if Aragog was the monster from the Chamber. Aragog denied he was, stating that he came from an egg from far away, and Hagrid had taken him in.

"Oh that's even better," James muttered, "seems Hagrid is the one who started the Acromantula colony in the forest himself."

"Yeah, Hagrid just lost some brownie points with me," Sirius grumbled, taking back his earlier comment a bit.

He'd hidden him up in the castle and fed him scraps from the table.

Lily might not like the idea of giant man eating spiders much, especially ones that so casually said her son could be eaten, but she did feel grains of pity for this creature and could understand why it felt so partial to Hagrid now.

Hagrid had been a good friend to him over the years, even acquiring a female named Mosag.

"A little too much goodness if you ask me," Remus frowned, "I think giving him a girlfriend was going just a bit far."

"Oh but it's so much fun picturing it," Sirius grinned, "think of little Hagrid talking to a lonely Aragog, and then him asking about girls and whether Mosag liked this or-" he stopped when

Remus smacked him, even though Remus didn't seem to notice the nasty glare Sirius was now giving him.

Harry confirmed that Aragog had never hurt anyone, and Aragog said he never had, though it was in his nature, he'd never harmed a human out of respect for Hagrid.

"Bet your kids can't say the same," James muttered to himself, having heard a few stories in his time of other students wandering into the forest and not coming back out.

The girl who had been killed all those years ago had been found in a bathroom,

Harry nodded to himself, saying aloud, "that's it. That was the important thing I remembered about this night."

"So you went out there only to find out it was Myrtle who died," Sirius frowned. "Honestly, you could have just sat around and talked to her with much less deadly results."

"I didn't know that then," Harry defended.

"Guess there's no point in arguing it then," Remus butt in before Sirius could respond.

and Aragog had never left his cupboard. Harry asked if he did know what had killed her, and Aragog actually sounded afraid as he remembered begging Hagrid to let him run away when he heard the creature moving through the castle.

"Well this just got unbelievably creepier," Lily frowned, "I'd hate to meet what scares an acromantula."

Remus nodded to himself, as if he needed more proof of what he thought was in the bowels of the castle.

All around Harry, the other spiders were growing with agitation, inching closer and still rustling their pincers.

"Could you please stop describing that now," James groaned, trying to ignore the fact that it was getting hard to hear at all from the harsh thumping in his chest.

"Kay, you got your information," Sirius said, starting to bounce in place again, "can you please leave now."

Harry had his own look of unease in place, but he was still determined to talk to the spider as long as possible.

Aragog then snapped that he did not speak the name of the creature,

"Which is a real shame, cause I would have liked to known by then," Harry muttered mostly to himself.

he'd never even told Hagrid. Harry was starting to feel closed in, all he could see around him were infinite spiders of all sizes still getting closer. Aragog seemed to be back away now, clearly growing weary of talking.

"Now, we were wanting to leave," Harry agreed with Sirius, forcing back a sense of unease that was starting to build.

Harry couldn't help but notice this, and said that they'd just be on their way then. Aragog disagreed,

"I'm sorry, I'm starting to wish Hagrid hadn't ever found this stupid spider," James snarled, "cause I don't like it."

"Agreed," everyone else muttered.

saying that he may be able to stop his children from attacking Hagrid, but not any random person that came in. He called a goodbye to the friend of Hagrid.

Remus couldn't help yet another shiver of fear and disgust as he read that. Acromantulas were extremely hard to kill, so how on earth had his cub gotten out of this? He didn't wait for the stony silence to erupt into outrage at the spider, he simply read on swiftly.

Harry and Ron jolted to their feet, Harry pulling his wand out despite knowing it was no good, he definitely didn't know any spells to get him out of this mess, but knowing if he was going to die he was going to go out fighting.

Then he had to stop again to choke off a strangled sob. All he could picture was James, doing this same thing for his soon perished life-he jumped slightly when Sirius nudged him in the ribs, hard. His eyes were too bright, he looked like he was trying to force himself not to blink to hold back tears, but one glance over to the couch showed that the little family of three were having their own issues with that sentence. Knowing Harry was fine and alive only slightly comforted him as he forced himself to keep reading.

Before anything else could be done though, another to bright light came barrelling onto the scene, as Mr. Weasley's car came hurtling down the slope.

Lily blinked once, twice, then she burst out in half hysterical laughter. "I-I'm sorry," she gasped, looking around at Harry and finally getting out, "I am so sorry for having yelled at you for taking that car to school."

Harry grinned at her, never having held the scolding against her, but pleased all the same she didn't seem to be holding that against him anymore.

Almost giddy with excitement and laughing at this bit of circumstance, Remus now read eagerly.

It came swerving to a stop right in front of Harry and Ron, doors thrown open.

"Definitely going to be enchanting my bike," Sirius said with real conviction now, watching Lily warily to see if she was going to get mad at him again, "it seems like it will be handier than harm."

Lily pursed her lips, but then chose to say nothing. While she was still a woman of the law before a lot a things, she decided just then she might be able to turn a deaf ear to what he had just said...the benefits seemed far more important just then.

Both boys lunged inside, Ron grabbing up Fang and hauling him in as well. The doors slammed shut and the car revved off of its own accord, knocking into many spiders on the way.

"They deserve it," James muttered mostly to himself, though no one would have disagreed. They were all still just a little winded at yet another horrifying deadly experience that happened to Harry, heart rates weren't even considering going back to normal until Harry and Ron were far away from that den.

The car followed its own path, somehow knowing where the widest gaps in the trees were.

"I hope that car never leaves the forest now," Sirius grinned wildly, "can you imagine the sight of that?"

"It seems to come in handy," James agreed.

Harry glanced over at Ron and found his mouth was still frozen open, though his eyes looked a little less huge.

"Ron seems to have gotten quite a bout of bad luck this year," Remus noticed with a slight wince.

"Walking into the forest into his worst nightmare," James agreed, "takes some kind of kid not to have run screaming."

"Didn't you hear though?" Sirius asked, trying to keep a straight face, "he was silently screaming the whole time."

"Knock it off you three," Lily finally cut in, "enough of your joking around, this isn't funny."

"We didn't say it was," James defended, now massaging his chest and hoping his heart rate would go back to normal before the next catastrophe, "we're just sympathizing with Ron."

Lily watched them for a moment more before shrugging and letting it go.

Harry asked if he was okay,

"I'm going to guess the answer to that is no," Remus said sadly.

and Ron seemed unable to find the words to answer. The car carried them all the way out until they could finally see the moon above again.

"Now for the love of anything, please tell me you don't go back in there!" Lily moaned.

"Ah," Harry wanted to fervently agree with his mother, but he had a sinking feeling it would be a lie if he agreed, so he instead said nothing. They all noticed this, and it didn't improve a mood one bit.

When the car parked itself and opened its doors again, Fang launched himself out, running full pelt back to Hagrid's with his tail still tucked between his legs.

"Poor dog," Sirius said in sympathy.

Harry stumbled out as well, thankful feeling had returned to his limbs, while Ron tumbled out and just sat in the grass. The car gave one more slight rev of its engine before turning tail and going back into the forest.

"Sweet," James said, finally finding a grin again, "I can't wait to spread the rumour about a car trundling the forest."

"Let's see how many people you can get to believe that," Remus snorted.

Harry went back into Hagrid's and grabbed his cloak and came out to find Ron vomiting over by the pumpkins.

All five of them winced, hoping Ron wasn't going to do something worse like pass out. He had just lived through his worst nightmare, so the kid could afford to be more than a little queasy, but it would be really bad for the two of them to not be in bed in the morning and Ron passing out would make that all the harder.

He finally found his voice again when he ran out of vomit and swore he'd never forgive Hagrid for leading them into this.

"That does make me really wonder what Hagrid was thinking," Lily agreed with Ron.

James opened his mouth to say something, but then Remus caught sight of the next sentence and read loudly.

Harry offered that Hagrid must have thought Aragog wouldn't hurt friends of his.

"Thought?" Lily hissed, "well he shouldn't have tested that theory on Harry."

"He was scared," James defended, "and desperate. Maybe he thought Aragog would give Harry some more useful information about why he was in Azkaban."

Lily didn't think that excused Hagrid's negligence, but she couldn't find it in her heart to be too angry with him either. He hadn't known what was going to happen, of that she was sure, so to hold a grudge for it would be petty, so she let the matter go.

Ron still wasn't happy, demanding to know what the point of them going in there was!

"Another piece to the puzzle," Harry sighed, "which you guys mostly worked out already."

"Don't feel too bad," James said at once, "we're older, and time really does add on to experience. Plus, this is kind of something no one your age should even be looking into, so the fact that you do know what you do is kind of amazing in itself."

"Yeah, don't beat yourself up because you weren't old yet," Remus agreed.

Harry couldn't stop the smile that spread across his face then.

Harry reminded that Hagrid hadn't opened the Chamber, that he was innocent. Ron snorted in disbelief, clearly thinking that hiding an acromantula away in the school wasn't exactly innocent.

"Well innocent of murdering the girl then," Harry amended.

"Close enough anyways," Sirius chuckled.

They made their way back to the castle as Harry mulled over all that he'd heard tonight. The way Aragog had been speaking made this monster sound something like a Voldemort creature.

"Now that's a creepy parallel," Lily said, not liking the comparison one bit.

Harry collapsed back onto his bed and still wondered over the whole thing, like how Riddle had obviously got the wrong person, but the Heir of Slytherin was still out there. Was it the same person then who was doing this now?

"That is still a big question," Remus agreed.

There was one other thing, and Harry realized what it was as he jerked upright with a start, waking Ron who awoke with a muffled scream of fear.

"Nightmares," James said with a frown, "boy's going to be having nightmares for a month."

"Can't even blame him," Sirius agreed.

Harry quickly explained his epiphany, how Aragog had said a girl had died in a bathroom, what if she was still in there?

"I still say that mad trip was worth figuring that out," Harry shrugged, quickly adding on, "though

I hope to never repeat the process."

"Guess I'm going to have to live with that," Lily grumbled.

Ron had to rub some sleep out of his eyes before he caught on, whispering the name Moaning Myrtle.

"Yeah, whoever would have suspected that nutter," Remus agreed as he passed Lily the book.

[ourloveisforthelovely]

To the Ends of the Earth Part 2

Supernatural 

A/n: slight smut warning. AU Supernatural that doesn’t go by the show. OOC Gabriel for some of the story. 

Link to Chapter 1 

Words: 2,419

Pairings: Gabriel x Reader

______

Gabriel followed you down the hall to your bedroom. He was partially wondering what in the fresh hell that he was doing? This was going against everything that he was ever taught. Running off with a human had to be the most reckless thing that he had ever done! Gabriel was beginning not to care, however.  

With each passing second, he was beginning to look forward to his new life. There was going to be no more “doing what Michael said.” He didn’t have to look at Raphael look at him with sympathy and pretend to care. His brothers didn’t know how to feel. 

Gabriel wasn’t sure when he began to develop feelings but he had. Maybe it was when he had to tell Mary about the whole Jesus fiasco? The poor girl was petrified of Gabriel when he showed up in her room. He couldn’t help but feel sorry for her then. She wasn’t asking for any of the crazy that was about to happen to her. The poor girl was just going along like normal then BAM total life change! Gabriel had been much more gentle with her than her fiance or that Zachariah guy. 

After the meeting with Mary, Gabriel had become a lot more sensitive to the human’s feelings. He had spent many days watching them from heaven. Raphael told him that he was wasting his time and his worry for no reason. Gabriel didn’t care though. The poor humans was a hot mess of a dumpster fire that Gabriel couldn’t look away from. 

The sound of you throwing your bag on the bed; pulled Gabriel from his thoughts. He looked up as you began yanking clothing out of the drawer. 

“Are you going to take all of your clothing?” 

You looked up from your bag. Gabriel was eyeing your closet full of clothes. 

“No. I don’t have enough bags. Gabriel, you aren’t going to change your mind when I start getting on your nerves...are you?”

Gabriel tilted his head before appearing right beside you. He reached out and cupped your cheek. 

“No way. You’re my favorite human.”

You were relieved! Part of you worried that Gabriel would get annoyed after a while and decide to go back to his family. That would be one big disaster for you! Not only would you be without the angel but you would have to explain to Sam and Dean just why the hell you ran away. 

Ugh, Sam and Dean! You felt guilty about what you were doing to your brothers! They were the people that you loved most in the world! You were, for lack of a better term, kicking them in the balls with this but there would be no other way! Sam and Dean would never let you have a relationship with an archangel!  You could always throw Dean’s relationship with Cas into the conversation but that wouldn't get you far! 

“That’s different! You and Sam are the smart ones!” 

You could literally hear Dean now! If he knew that you were sleeping with an archangel, he would probably pass out! Passing out would be the best outcome! 

Gabriel’s lips on yours pulled you from your thoughts. 

“It's going to be okay, sugar. I’ll take care of you.’

He said softly in your mind. 

“I know.” 

You slowly pulled away from Gabriel. If you didn’t, the two of you would never get anywhere! 

“We should get out of here.” 

Gabriel nodded as you threw your phone on the bed. 

“My phone has a tracking device. Sam, Dean, and I all have one..”

Gabriel nodded and followed you to the garage. You quickly got your keys and threw your bag in the car. 

“It will be just a minute. I have to get rid of the tracker that is on my car too.” 

Gabriel chuckled. 

“I thought that my brothers were protective.” 

You rolled your eyes. Protective was putting what Sam and Dean were lightly. 

“If you only knew!”

You muttered and closed the hood. Gabriel quickly hopped out of the car. 

“Better idea! Forget the car. I can make disappearing a lot easier. Come here.” 

You didn’t need to be told twice. Wrapping your arms around Gabriel’s shoulders, you met his eyes. You wanted to look for any sign of apprehension and was relieved to see none. Instead, his golden eyes seemed to shimmer even more. 

Gabriel’s arm wrapped around your waist. 

“Still want to do this?”

You quickly crammed your mouth against his. Gabriel seemed a bit surprised at first but quickly followed your lead. He gently pushed you back against the wall. You wrapped your arms tighter around the archangels neck. He moaned against your mouth as his left arm dropped to your waist. You smiled against his lips as he pulled you tighter against him. 

“Lose control, Gabriel.”

You mumbled in between kisses. It had been weeks since he touched you last. No toy that may or may not be in your bedside table could compare to what Gabriel could do to you!  Gabriel chuckled. 

“Maybe we should get to a hotel first? I don’t think that you would want your brothers walking in on us making love on the floor.” 

The romantic moment was quickly ended when you thought of Sam and Dean walking in. You sighed and gave Gabriel one final chaste kiss. 

“Good point. Where are we going?”

Gabriel gave you an eyebrow wiggle before quickly grabbing you and disappearing. 

When your world stopped spinning, you stood in the middle of a nice hotel room. 

“Whew, I’m dizzy.”

You muttered as Gabriel slowly let you go. 

“Too fast?”

Gabriel questioned. That serious angel-like expression returned. Without thinking, you made a dive at him. The two of you landed on the bed. Gabriel looked totally stunned as before wiggling his way on top of you. 

“Naughty girl.”

The pent up sexual frustration from not seeing each other in a few weeks returned like a freight train. Gabriel gently stroked the side of your face and dug his hips into yours. 

“I missed you.” 

You said as you reached up and tucked a stray curl away from Gabriel’s face. 

“I bet that I missed you more. No more goodbyes.” 

Gabriel said with a confident grin. His golden eyes gazed down your body. You didn’t waste any time in yanking the shirt that you had on-off. Gabriel’s eyes were locked on your bra covered breasts and slowly dropped to the top of your jeans. 

“I see what you want.”

You slowly lifted your thigh that he was perched on and ran it over the obvious bulge in his jeans.

“I see what you want too.”

You said with a smirk as Gabriel muttered something that sounded like 

“Hell.”

Under his breath. 

“Sorry?”

Gabriel’s eyes fluttered back up to yours for a moment before he pressed one kiss to your lips. He slowly lowered himself down your body. As he moved down, Gabriel planted soft open mouth kisses to your exposed skin. Gabriel froze at the waistband of your jeans. He looked up at you and batted his eyes. 

“I said that we are going to hell for what we are doing.” 

Gabriel didn’t give you a moment to yank you into a sitting position. He lifted you onto your knees and began to tug at your bra. You chuckled knowing that he was about to get impatient and would probably just rip it off of you. Since you had begun seeing Gabriel, your lingerie collection was quickly depleting! 

Clothing was quickly becoming an obstacle. Gabriel still had all of his clothes on and you were still in your jeans and panties. Reaching in between your bodies, you unhooked the front clasp and pushed the bra off of your shoulders. Gabriel swallowed before shoving his face between your breasts. His mouth locked around your right nipple and began to roll your left nipple between his fingers. 

You whimpered and stroked your fingers through his hair. 

“At least we will have company.”

You finally was able to string a sentence together. The archangel looked up with a smirk. 

“You really are a naughty girl...my naughty girl.” 

(meanwhile) 

“Y/n we are home!” 

Dean yelled as he threw his bag down on at the door. He expected you to come out of your room any second. Sam, meanwhile, had wandered into the kitchen for a bottle of water. 

“Sammy, is Y/n in there with you?”

Sam stepped out of the kitchen shaking his head. 

“No.” 

Sam looked around the room. Nothing seemed out of the originally. Your laptop was open. The screen was off signaling that you had been away from the device for a while. 

“Y/n?”

Sam called as he followed Dean down the hallway. Walking into your room, both brothers frowned, if possible, harder. Your closet was open and a few outfits were thrown on the bed. 

“Y/n, this isn’t funny!” 

Dean snapped. He picked your phone up and entered the code. Nothing weird seemed to catch his eye. It was all normal stuff: memes, kittens, messages from Jodie about girly stuff (Dean wasn’t about to read that).

“Sam this is weird. Y/n wouldn't just leave her phone like this. This is out of the family code.” 

Sam rolled his eyes.

“Uh yeah, this is totally out of character for Y/n.” 

“Guys?”

Sam and Dean looked up to Cas who had stepped into the room. 

“Yeah?”

Dean asked. Cas motioned over his shoulder. 

“The garage door is open. There is something that I think you should see.”

Sam and Dean followed Cas into the garage. Both Winchester brothers froze at the sight of your tracker being removed and your forgotten duffle bag. 

“What the hell is going on around here?”

Dean mumbled. Sam elbowed Dean in the side.

“I’ll check the camera. If she was in here we can see it through the CCTV.”

Dean quickly followed his brother with Cas on his heels. The three hovered over Sam’s computer as Sam brought up the camera and started searching back in time.

“Whoa!”

Sam said as the images of you Gabriel appeared in front of him. Dean immediately felt the rage building up in him as he watched you talking to some strange ass man. The moment that you wrapped your arms around his shoulders and started kissing said guy; Dean looked away. 

“Looks like Y/n has a boyfriend. Excuse me while I go vomit.”

“Who is he?”

Sam questioned. 

“Uh…”

Cas started. Sam and Dean turned to face Cas. The angel was sitting with his mouth open in clear shock.

“What?”

Dean snapped. Cas looked up.

“I know him.”

“Him? You know this guy?”

Dean questioned. Cas nodded. He was about to open a can of worms with his two friends.

“That's Gabriel.” 

Sam eyes immediately stood up. 

“You mean like the archangel?!” 

Cas sighed. 

“I would know my brother anywhere.” 

Dean stood up punching the wall. 

“Son of a bitch! What the hell is she thinking!” 

Sam meanwhile, had logged onto your computer and was looking through your search history. 

“She was researching human and angel relations ...yes, that kind of relations.” 

Dean picked up a bottle of whiskey slammed it against the wall in fury.

“We have got to get her back here! I am about to kick an archangel’s ass!” 

(meanwhile) 

Gabriel looked down at you with a smile. You were sleeping quietly against his chest. Your arms were wrapped tightly around his body to prevent him from attempting to move away. Gabriel stroked his hand over your face. 

There was so much that he wanted to tell you. So much that he had yet to mention. Gabriel had never told you about him being your soulmate. He hadn’t mentioned to anyone but himself. Michael and Raphael definitely didn’t seem to know nor did anyone else in heaven. Gabriel was still confused by it himself. He wasn’t sure what his father was thinking by matching an archangel with a human. Gabriel wasn’t going to question what he was feeling and what he knew. He could feel the tug. He had felt it for years! 

This is where the worry really began to set in for the archangel. How was Gabriel supposed to tell you that he knew about the soul mate genes and had been keeping a watch on you for years? What if you thought that he was being some kind of creeper? The wiser side of him knew that you would never think such a thing but what if he was wrong?

He knew that he would have to tell you someday that he had been keeping watch over you like a “secret guardian angel” from the day that you were born.  You had definitely tried Gabriel’s patience many times but he would have it no other way. He would have continued to spend all of his time chasing after you and healing your random injuries if it meant “being close.”

Gabriel could only pray that you would take this news decently. If you rejected him, Gabriel would be crushed. He would be best off going to Michael and telling him everything. Maybe if he was lucky his brother would kill him on the spot. There would be no way that Gabriel would want to spend the rest of eternity knowing that he was rejected by his own soul mate.

“Y/n wouldn't do that. She loves you. You can feel it. She would follow you to the ends of the earth!”

Gabriel thought trying to calm himself. Looking down at you, Gabriel was relieved when you smiled and tried to pull him closer.

“I'll tell you everything...as soon as I can.”

How Michael and Raphael hadn’t picked up on Gabriel’s love affair with you was a miracle of its own. It just showed how “disconnected” that his brothers were. Gabriel couldn't be more thankful for it than he was at the moment! He knew that he would have to face his brothers in time but that would be in the future. For now, Gabriel only wanted to worry about this moment. 

“I mean it when I said that I would keep you safe.” 

_____

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[bionic-buckyb]

When It Rains: Part 2

A Thor x Reader / Soulmate Series

Master List

⚡ You’ve been dreaming of the same voice, the same man, for as long as you can remember. You never thought that he could be real, let alone that he was the God of Thunder, your soulmate, and the key to unlocking a mysterious power within you; a power that could be used to save Thor’s homeland of Asgard, or, in the wrong hands, to destroy it.

A/N: I had SO MUCH FUN writing part one and even more fun writing this! It’s so freeing to write for other characters, especially Thor, and to explore the marvel universe more. I just hope you guys are liking it! This whole series is based (loosely) off the song Dreams by Fleetwood Mac. Thank you to @howlingbarnes, my beautiful bestie, for reading this over for me. Your asks, likes, reblogs, and replies are always appreciated (although if you could reblog to get it out there, i’d appreciate it the most)! I’d love to hear if you wish for me to continue [:

Word Count: 1,765

Warnings: - language. - very mild violence.

Tags: (at the end)

*gif is not mine. (credit: here)

Your heart felt like it stopped in your chest, as Thor’s astonishingly clear, blue eyes pierced your very soul. You couldn’t believe it. The person you’d been dreaming about for literal years, was standing right in front of you. But how? How was this possible? Your brain worked in overdrive over every explanation, but the overpowering fuzz of uncertainty claimed the most space. Shaking your head, you tried to clear your mind and think rationally. Thor’s brow was furrowed in apparent concern, sweet wrinkles appearing by his eyes as he concentrated.  

“Is everything alright?” he asked, reaching out a very large hand, and placing it on your shoulder in a genuinely concerned manner. Only five minutes in this being’s presence, and you had already deemed him perfection.

“I---yeah…” you replied, fidgeting at the spot. “I just… feel like I know you.”

“I must say, I do feel like I’ve seen you somewhere before. Have we ever met?”

“Uh… no,” you said, with a shake of your head. “I don’t think we have.”

“Shame. Maybe you’ve seen me on the television? I’m quite popular here on Earth.”

The smile that followed this statement warmed your fragile heart this time; the delicious warmth creeping over every bone in your body like a comforting blanket. But there was the word again. Earth. The only word you’d ever heard him say. How would you possibly explain this to someone so… godlike? Your anxiety began to creep up on you, like a insatiable thirst, sucking you dry. You couldn’t tell him about your dreams. How stupid would you look?

“Yeah,” you finally retorted, smoothing out your apron, picking off every fuzz and crumb; anything to not have to face him. “That’s probably it.”

Thor looked out the window, before looking back at you. You could feel those eyes scanning over you, assessing you, and your entire body was on fire. You didn’t want to let him go, but how would you make him stay? You were just… you. And he was just… out of your entire fucking league.

“I’m so sorry,” he said, his voice quieter than before, more intimate.  “I have to be going now. I’m needed by my good friend, Tony Stark.”

You choked on your own spit, coughing violently.

“I’m sorry, did you just say you’re friends with Tony Stark?”

“Indeed. Do you know of him?”

“Well, he’s only one of the richest men on the entire planet---”

You stopped speaking mid sentence, and that’s when it all finally clicked. Suddenly, you felt so stupid that you wanted to literally kick yourself as hard as possible, or vomit, or both. Tony Stark was the founder of the Avengers and, after taking another glance at Thor, realized that he too was obviously a part of them. You didn’t know much about the Avengers, or their members; just that they saved the world and the government gave them shit for it.

“Wait… you’re an Avenger, aren’t you?” you asked bravely.

“I am or… was. Not really sure where they stand anymore. Which is where I was going, to find out.”

“Ah, okay, yeah. Please, don’t let me stop you,” you replied, your heart crying out not to let him leave, but your brain knowing you had to. “It was very nice to meet you.”

“You as well,” he stated with a nod of his head, before turning out of the coffee shop door. You watched as he walked in the middle of the street with purpose. A bolt of electric blue lightning that matched his eyes came from the sky. It zapped around him like a force field and you gasped, as the same lightning emitted from his fingertips. Thor turned once more to look at you through, his eyes glowing the whitest blue you’d ever seen. His clothes had now changed, and he was wearing leather armor, which hugged every part of him perfectly. To your surprise, he winked before quickly disappearing straight up into the sky. You ran out into the street and looked up, hoping for one more glimpse of the man of your dreams, but he was gone. The only thing that greeted you was a rumble of thunder, followed by drops of rain on your face.

Walking quickly back into the coffee shop to avoid getting wet, you did a quick Google search on your phone.

Thor.

Many things came up, including lots of Norse mythology. Myths, about the son of Odin. Your head was spinning, as if your body was on the fastest teacup ride at Disneyland. Specifying the search, you tried:

Thor, Avengers.

What came up made you gasp, and feel even more stupid than you already felt, even though deep down you always knew.

Thor, son of Odin, is the god of Thunder. He is the most important and famous god in Norse mythology and, after coming to Earth to reveal himself, along with teaming up with Mr Tony Stark, has become a crucial part of the Avengers team. After the historical incident in Sokovia, his location is unknown. It is possible that he currently resides on his own planet, Asgard.

So Thor was an actual god after all; an otherworldly being. You set your phone down and inhaled quickly, before releasing all of your pent up air in one long breath. All this time, you had been seeing what you assumed were Thor’s memories. The actual god of Thunder. But why? Why you? And why did he come to you now, in a measly coffee shop on Earth when, clearly, he was on the run? Crazy questions ran through your brain, with no answers to sedate them.

“Fuck…” you breathed, trying everything not to cry. You didn’t know what to do, where to turn, or what any of this meant.

After what felt like an eternity, you were finally relieved from your position by a coworker, and began your walk to the parking garage a few blocks down the street from the coffee shop to retrieve your car. All you wanted to do was curl into a ball in bed and cry, knowing that you’d let Thor just leave without an explanation for the dreams that tortured you for so long. He was, after all, an actual god. Maybe he knew what was happening to you.

Not realizing where you were going, you slammed into a stranger who was standing directly in front of you. He leaned in and whispered in your ear, so as not to draw attention, sending chills down your spine.

“Gimme your purse, and no one gets hurt.”

“What?” you asked, absolutely flabbergasted. “Absolutely fucking not.”

The man’s fingers were wrapped around the strap now, yanking it toward him. A mean glare was in his eyes. You were playing tug of war now. All of your money was in this bag, your entire life. There was no way you were letting it go.

“Let go!” you screamed, hoping to get someone’s attention, but the street was empty. “Now, asshole!”

You saw the stranger reach into his pocket with his free hand, and you froze. You knew he was going for a knife, a gun; anything to kill you with. This was it. This was the end.

Except you were very wrong.

A loud crack of lightning struck just behind the stranger, making him let go of your purse and yelp in surprise.

“Jesus Christ!” he screamed, jumping away from you. “Oh fuck…”

When he spoke, he was almost looking through you, as if someone was behind you. You furrowed your brow, as you watched the stranger tremble with fear, before running the other way.

“I was only gone like... an hour,” the sweet, deep, soothing voice said behind you. The only voice to ever make you weak in the knees. “You’re a trouble maker, aren’t you?”

You turned around in what felt like slow motion, as you took in Thor for the first time since you found out who and what he actually was. Butterflies fluttered inside your stomach, the sudden urge to vomit from emotion apparent. He was the most beautiful creature you’d ever laid eyes on, and that was a fact now.

“Thank you…” you managed to breathe, holding your stomach. “You saved my life.”

“Nonsense,” he said with a wave of his hand. “But I have to tell you I haven’t been very honest with you.”

His statement took you by surprise, and your hand instinctively clutched your heart.

“Neither have I,” you finally replied, not taking your eyes off of him for fear he’d vanish again.

“That’s what I feared. Will you come with me, to a safe place that we can talk? I’d like to get you looked at by a friend, to be sure you’re okay.”

“I’m fine, I—-“

“Non-negotiable I’m afraid,” he interrupted, and you didn’t argue. “Please, come with me?”

He asked as a question, although you knew it wasn’t one.

You looked at his hand as he extended it to you, your face clearly reading that of the biggest skeptic. Your heart was screaming “Go!” but your brain was screaming “Don’t!”

“I promise, I won’t hurt you,” he assured you. “I would never dream of hurting you, Y/N.”

You placed your hand in his, your eyes never leaving the smile he wore just for you. As your fingers wrapped into his own, your world lurched forward, as he flew you to your new destination.

It felt like a few minutes, but might have been much longer. Thor’s free hand was used to wrap around your waist, pulling you as close to him as possible to keep you safe.

The eventual landing was rough, and your world spun for a while as you clutched the floor on all fours. To your surprise, you felt the same fingers that were wrapped in yours moments before, rubbing your back in a comforting manner.

“Good God, Thor,” another soft voice said somewhere around you. “Why did you fly her here? You could’ve just had Tony’s guys pick her up?”

“She had been through enough with strangers, Banner,” Thor said quietly. “I wanted her to be with me. I almost lost her today.”

“Okay, okay,” Banner said, shaking his head. “Lets help her up at least, huh?” Two strong hands looped under each of your arms and pulled you up. You were dizzy.

“Are you okay?” Thor asked you, taking your face in his hands. You nodded, unable to form words. Banner was snapping his fingers in your face, his own  covered in worry. “Can I get you anything?”

Suddenly, another man appeared behind Thor and you immediately spaced out on his all too familiar face.

“Hello, Y/N?” he extended a hand between you and Thor. “My name is Tony Stark. I wanted to personally welcome you to Stark Tower.”

You didn’t take his hand, and instead saw Thor’s intense face of concern, as you passed out in his arms.

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Part 3

[fandomhores]

Healing Hands » Peter Parker

Peter Parker x Reader 

Prompt: Reader has similar powers to that of the Scarlet Witch and Tony suggests that the reader go to school with Peter in order to “babysit” him, somehow it ends up equal babysitting on both parts. Peter has an adorable school girl crush on Reader.

Warnings: Fluff, fluff, and more fluff. Almost teeth-rottingly sweet, also first crush cringe. Not a lot of dialogue in this one, more descriptive for plot feels. 

Word Count: 1,599

By: Admin Nikki ☾

New York City was known for being the city that never sleeps, and that was most likely the reason why Peter was late. Fury would have preferred you to stay with him at S.H.I.E.L.D. so they could better monitor and study your powers, but then Tony Stark gave the idea of having you go to school with Spidey-Boy. They’d know where the both of you are, you could finish high school, and you could probably help each other out in the process.

You first met Peter at Tony’s office. Tony was letting you use Friday to research more about New York City since you would soon need to know your way around. Tony had told you he had someone he wanted you to meet, and brought in the Queens teen while you were watching a video of a street performer and unconsciously toying with your powers. 

Tony told Peter that he was introducing him to a witch, he kinda pictured an aging woman with a broom and a big black pointy hat. Maybe he shouldn’t have used the Wizard of Oz as a reference, cause he was not prepared for you. You were standing in front of the holo-screen, swaying to a live cover of Stand by Me. Violet-colored energy spiraled from your fingertips and swirled around your person like smoke. Small objects from the room floated around you as well, and you sensed Tony and another enter the room. You greeted both of them with  smile and sent Tony’s belongings back to their place. Peter gawked at you, all doe-eyed and starstruck, and Tony rolled his eyes at the sight. 

When Tony explained that you would be attending school with Peter, the boy started having a mental panic attack. Tony made it even worse when he said that you’d be staying in the empty apartment on Peter’s floor of the building he lived; he already called ahead to Aunt May to let her know that his “niece” was going to be probably stopping by from time to time.

The kid was a stuttering mess when you introduced yourself to him and gave him your hand to shake. He introduced himself as “Parter Peker” and his hand was slightly clammy, but you found his awkwardness endearing. Aunt May adored you the moment she met you, acting like the Italian mom aunt she is by offering to make you dinner as a welcome to NYC. While you were in the kitchen cutting ingredients for her, she teased Peter in the living room about how pretty you were and how he should ask you out. He responded by trying to make a coherent sentence about how you just got to New York and you’d never be interested in a guy like him.

Now Ned was a different story. Ned was speechless when you came right up to him with Peter, talking like you had know them for years. In private he tried to interrogate Peter on how such a pretty girl was even breathing near geeks like them, but Peter avoided answering his questions as much as he could. He thought it was most definitely a big no-no to divulge your Avenger status. 

Then there was the time Peter blocked a ball from hitting you, his spidey-senses taking over and he rushed in front of you, wrapping you in his arms and turning his back to the baseball. You felt Peter flinch at the impact and when you saw the aftermath, which was Ned making incoherent phrases while gawking at the two of you and the gym teacher rushing over, you fully registered what happened. You offered to take Peter to the Nurse’s office, and the teacher agreed while Peter tried to insist that he’s fine. You don’t remember Peter taking your hand, but you used it to your advantage, and Ned noticed the brief flicker of lilac come from your intertwined hands. That’s when Ned realized why you hung out with Peter, you were both super-humans. 

You used a bit of your powers to “persuade” Peter into letting you take him to the nurse’s office. When you finally got him there, the nurse asked you to stay by her desk while she took him behind the curtain to give him some privacy to check his back. You shuffled your feet restlessly, you could hear them moving and the nurse talking to him quietly from behind the curtain. It was opened abruptly soon after, right in the middle of Peter putting his shirt back on. You caught a glimpse of his abdomen and your face flushed red, you turned away hurriedly to cough when he looked over at you.

Since it was the end of the school day soon, the nurse instructed him to put a cold compress on the area when he got home, and that the spot was already bruising. Peter tried to stretch his back and flinched, a pang of guilt hitting you straight in the chest. It was later that night when Peter was out on patrol that you finally had enough a sulking around and feeling guilty that you asked him to come over to your apartment.

The boy began running scenarios about why you wanted him over and what would happen through his head. Some scenarios had him turn red in the face and immediately shake them from his head, but nonetheless he panic-talked to himself the whole way back home. He landed on the rooftop of the apartment building and was surprised to see you already up there. You were looking out at the view of the city with a blank gaze, but sensed someone behind you a moment later. You turned around to see who it was and relaxed to find Peter in his Spiderman getup. He slipped off his mask, his contagious smile on his lips. When you gave him the same, his worries just washed away. He could swear you were the loveliest thing he had ever set his eyes on and nothing would change his mind.

You beckoned him over with a wave of your hand, and he made his way over to you, trying to keep his cool and not trip on air. He stood next to you, looking down at you expectantly. You blink up at him, your mind suddenly blank of all the words you rehearsed in your head. Word vomit just exploded from you and you blatantly ask him to take off his shirt. The both of you turn into sputtering tomato faces right on the spot, you hurriedly tried to correct yourself and explain that you wanted to examine the spot where he got her earlier at school.

It takes a moment for Peter to register our words, but he eventually turns around, deflating the torso of his suit and turning his back towards you. The person who ball was, unfortunately for Peter, the pitcher for the baseball team at school. The spot was already black and purple and big, meaning it was already starting to heal. You ghosted your fingers over it, Peter winced more from the sudden contact than the tenderness of the spot, you mumbled apologies to him.

Peter then felt his skin start to tingle, goosebumps raising on his skin. He turned his head to glance back at you and what he saw amazed him. Your hands lightly touched the bruise and your eyes were closed, eyebrows knitted together in concentration. You violet aura pulsed from your palms and the moment ended not a beat later. Your eyes fluttered open and a bright grin lit up your features.

“W-What did you do?” Peter asked bewildered.

“I, um, felt bad about you taking that hit for me,” You explained, toying with your fingers nervously. “So I healed you.” Peter stretched his back, feeling no pain unlike earlier. He clumsily tried to reach behind himself to feel for the spot, but you pulled out your phone to take a picture of it for him so he could see it. His jaw dropped, there was no sign of the bruise ever existing, it was like the nothing ever happened. “Y-You know, if you ever get while you’re out there fighting badies and what not, you could always just call me and I’ll aid you. You can think of me as your own person medic I guess.” Peter just stared at you with literal heart-eyes.

“Why are you just so incredible?” Peter meant to say that in his head but it just came out. You turned into a blushing mess along with Peter. You pivoted away from each other, not being able to look the other in the eye. Peter put his suit back on while you checked the time on your phone.

“Welp. I’m gonna go finish my homework,” You proclaimed, ending the awkward silence.

“Y-Ye-Yeah. I should probably go make sure that there’s no guys in Avenger’s masks robbing ATMs again.”

“See you in the morning Peter,” You said as you started to walk back towards the roof door. Peter was going to slip his mask back on when he saw you stop in the corner of his eye. You flew over so quickly that he would have thought he imagined you kissing him, would have if your lips didn’t linger as long on his as they did. He stared at you wide-eyed when you pulled away, and retained the same shocked look as you hurried inside, the lilac light trailing behind you.

Peter registered what happened a couple of minutes later, and no one could wipe his dorky grin off his face.

Thanks for reading! Requests are open for both Kat and I. It can be someone we haven’t written about on the page if you like, one of us is bound to be able to write about them. ♡

[chut-je-dors]

Sorry but I don't think you can say you're trying to "contribute" to making the mclennon fandom "more equal" with the way half your fics portray paul thistring after john's dick and making him be sub in all your fics and I hear people say how good the hor mechanic is but I think paul is just super annoying, not realistic at all and I'm sorry I don't understand how that fic became so popular in the first place or how your contributing to this fandom

You know what, I usually delete all this kind of asks after the whole hysteric!Paul controversy took place, ‘cos my patience was just running out and I was simply getting tired of it, but I actually want to answer this time, and will do so thoroughly. So beware, a LONG post coming through.

I’d like to begin with the claim that half of my fics portray Paul as the “bottom” one. First of all, I’d like to clarify that for me, it doesn’t matter who bottoms and who tops — the important thing is whether the relationship between the two men is equal, and that equality has nothing to do with who bottoms. One of them has to, if they were to do anal sex. It is true that in most of my fics, Paul has been the one to bottom, but that doesn’t mean he’s beneath John in any other way than just physically, literally lying under him.

There is a lot in this whole thing that people don’t really get:

First of all, you need to understand what kind of a place our fandom was when I was first starting as a reader. Most of the fics featured Paul as the bottom one, but John as the emotional drive in the stories. I’ve lost count of the oneshots I read back then that had John pining after Paul, and there didn’t seem to be any corresponding fics where Paul was the one desperately pining for John. Their relationship didn’t seem equal; Paul was too soft, John was too hard. Paul was the romantical one, John couldn’t have cared less. Paul was a stuck-up nun, John was a reckless arsehole without any regard for others feelings.

I started reading fics in 2009 at the age of 13, and two-three years later I was writing my first fic ThighGHGHGHGS. This was both an outlet for my personal frustration over John’s thighs (man was I high on hormones at 15), a desire to write something that would make other people laugh, and an attempt to do something that was often less seen; Paul pining over John.

After that, there were a couple of smaller fics that I won’t be discussing here, meant as crack fics and never to be taken seriously. (What 1 being my personal favourite.) The big needle in the wound for everyone seems to be the Hot Mechanic and the Hot Series in general, so let me tell you about that fic:

In 2012-2013 the steady stream of new fics on JohnHeartPaul seemed to be dying down. There were maybe one or two multichapter fics being published, new chapters appearing every now and then, and the place seemed to be dying down. At that point the JP-archive stopped being updated. I was 15, going on 16, and growing increasingly frustrated with the lack of good new fics in the fandom (at that point I’d read the whole archive through like, twice). I started roaming over to the Merlin fandom and was blown away by the amount of good fics that incorporated the characters into all sorts of AUs seamlessly. I especially loved the modern AUs, and felt that that was missing from our fandom. At this point (in 2013) there were about two or three Modern AU fics in the fandom, and all of them were oneshots! We simply had no multichapter modern AU fics.

I decided to simply continue on the same policy I’d previously had with ThighGHGHGHS; I wanted to bring something new into the fandom. (Note: I don’t want to sound egoistical in this essay — the reason why I haven’t explained this before now is because I am a very, very modest person, and I have a problem in taking credit and compliments over something that I don’t feel was such a big deal. But these are things that I’ve heard from other people over the years, and as such I feel safe saying them, even though I’m still battling to accept the high praise.)

So why is The Hot Mechanic so popular? Because it is the first long, plot-driven modern AU in this fandom.

I wanted to do it as a crack fic, because I love humour. I wrote a fic that made me laugh, and I never expected it to become a thing that’s still going on. But because it’s a crack fic, it brought a few changes into the characters. They don’t react like normal people do. Hell, George isn’t a normal person. Ringo is the closest one we get to a normal person in that fic, and Paul literally walked in on him fucking his cousin! They’re all completely out of their heads, and it’s made for the laughs. Since it is a deliberate crack fic that isn’t even trying to make the characters look real (think of it as a really long Monty Python sketch), and since I literally wrote it SIX YEARS AGO, I don’t think it is fair to continuously keep on using that fic against me as a proof of how I “always” write Paul and John.

The following parts to the Hot Series have followed the same pattern as the first part, because, y’know, continuity. You can’t change a character just like that in the middle of the story without an explanation, and since the lads’ characters were well-established in the first part of the series, I had to keep it up. And I wouldn’t have changed it either, because writing them was, and is, genuinely fun, and that’s what matters.

What’s important is also the fact that Paul and John’s relationship is equal. They are both loving towards each other, showing affection openly. John is pining after Paul at work, dreaming about the moment he gets back to Paul on a regular basis, and Paul often reacts to this with fond humour. They laugh at each other’s jokes, walk out hand-in-hand, are equal when it comes to sex — they decide together what they want, standing constantly on equal ground. That sort of an open, fluffy relationship was kinda new as well, mainly due to the fact that this fic takes place in the modern day; they are allowed to be together.

I wrote the Hot Mechanic with a conscious wish of people copying it, taking my lead and jumping into the world of AUs. I hoped that people would get inspired by my first futile attempt at a modern AU, and bring more of them into the fandom. In the end I don’t know how much of an impact the HM had on the authors in general, but some sort of a switch has happened in any case, since in these days we’re gloriously swimming in Modern AUs.

In 2015 I wrote the Vomiting Adventure. I can’t remember if there was any particular reason, other than that I had probably been ill, and wanted to write a fic to commiserate with my subconsciousness. (And those who complain about the hysteric!Paul never seem to mention it at all. Maybe because it doesn’t fit the profile?)

The same year I wrote Hate Is Such A Strong Word. That fic was... never intended to be what it is today. It started as deep, thoughtful few sentences, and then suddenly Paul was tied to the bed, and ??? It suddenly became a try on how to write smut, since I had no real experience in it. It was also a crack fic, and as such I ask you to look at it like at the HM: As nothing meant to be realistic. It was not planned, and Paul bottoming didn’t hold much meaning. It was my first smut, and someone needed to bottom. And Paul was already tied to the bed, which was convenient.

When you look at my fics, you’ll see that most of them are in fact meant as a light, fun reading experience. They are crack fics. The only clear exceptions are This Is Not Them, and Ten Minutes.

This Is Not Them came from that old damned desire to once again do something new, but this time something new for me, since all I had ever done was write crack fics. I wanted to challenge myself and write a fic in a completely different style and tone, I wanted to show people I could do other stuff as well. This fic has Paul bottoming at the beginning when he’s with John, because wordless agreements between characters about who tops and who bottoms? Y’know how those work -- but he tops with other people. He is depressed. Sex is his only way of feeling something, which is explained in the fic (meaning that he is not a slut, but feels conflicted because he feels like one, but doesn’t want to, and doesn’t know who he is anymore). And John has his own depression to fight against, and here, Paul bottoming is kind of a plot point... uh, like a small dot in a bigger plot point about who John is and Why Is He Like That? I don’t want to spoil the fic for those who haven’t read it yet, but; there isn’t a sentence written in that fic that doesn’t have a meaning behind it. Paul doesn’t bottom for the reader: he bottoms because John won’t, due to the man’s ghosts from the past.

What underlines my work is that I always want to do something no one else has ever done before, or has never done properly. I have decided not to delete my older work, because I know people enjoy those fics, and I hope people wouldn’t judge how I write now based on those 6-year old works. The fics that I’ve been working on within this past year are This Is Not Them, Ten Minutes, and 5 Thomas Lane. Read those fics, and tell me whether you see a sign of the “feminine and girlish” Paul. (or don’t read them, ‘cos they’re really long... like so many words..... god)

I can say that personally I’ve never liked the fics where Paul was made out to be the crying princess, just based on his looks. The fandom tended to do that (as they often do for “pretty” characters), and I wanted John and Paul to be equal. They are equal in banter, equal in feelings, and yes, equal in bed as well in the way that it matters: mentally. (Except for This Is Not Them, but that is a plot point)

I highly encourage you to take a look at my fic page, where you can see all the fics I’ve written at a glance! It really sounds like you haven’t read most of them, so do give them a go!

As a response to your thoughts that I have not contributed to this fandom at all — I’m sure you’re aware of the JP-Library by now. At least I hope so! Here is how all that happened:

As I mentioned before, in 2013 the fandom seemed to be dying down. 2014-2016 continued in the same way, with everyone having sort of scattered around after JohnHeartPaul had gone quiet. Tumblr isn’t the best place to keep your whole community in, since it doesn’t offer any possibility for good fandom discussion. AO3 was slowly gaining foot in the fandom, and new fics started to appear little by little — AUs to my delight, although even as recently as in 2016 there just didn’t seem to be any new ground-shaking fics. Overall the whole place seemed to be dying down, and I was feeling desperate, because this fandom had been my home for years by then.

4th of January 2017 I had a thought that if no one else was going to do anything, I was the one that had to. Here is a quote from messages I sent that day to one friend after bringing up the idea of a new, updated JP-archive:

CJD, [04.01.17 23:43]I just kinda wanna keep the jp fandom alive

CJD, [04.01.17 23:43]cos I’ve been watching it go down for years :/

This was my core motivation from the start. I collected all the fics from the JP-archive, went through them to sort out the broken links, and started adding AO3 fics into the mix. A month after the idea of doing this had surfaced, I published the site, and have been updating it ever since. Soon after that I took over @mclennonrecs​.

I have been told by several different people that “you’re the one who’s keeping this fandom alive” or “you revived the whole fandom”. I’m not... sure if I agree, but it does however give a picture of what at least a one group of people think of my contributions to this fandom, and I’m glad to think that I’ve managed to make at least a small difference.

Truthfully I find it quite offensive that you would question my involvement in our fandom after all the work I’ve put into the Library and Mclennonrecs. I won’t say anything else on the matter, but I hope you take your time reading through my answer and considering what I’ve said.

I am always ready to receive criticism about my writing and the work I do, as long as it is given constructively. I do hope people would stop hounding writers for writing stories with bottom!Paul. It is discouraging to new authors and tiring to the old ones. I’ve always loved how people of all ages can unite over our love for John and Paul without judging anyone, so let’s not start creating unnecessary tension now.

Learn to see the fandom through its rich history, and don’t judge people without knowing their motivations. Please spread love instead of hate. Thank you! :)

[idkthisisjustforfanfic]

Chapter 13 - Seed and Spark

Harry had called me four times. I wasn’t really the type of girl to ignore someone’s phone calls, but something about the scene in my bedroom made me completely unsure of how to even form sentences to speak to him.

I don’t think he was angry--I didn’t really know what he was--but anger wasn’t it. His texts were pleading and, after I ignored his fourth attempt to speak with me, he simply told me I could stay in his room tonight if I didn’t want to stay with Quinn.

Millie had a big cup of soda, which she always reminded me was actually called a fizzy drink, but in this moment, the last thing on my mind was assimilating to British culture--fourteen years had been long enough and some things would just never stick.

She held the cup up to her face, took a long sip through the red straw, and watched me. I think she was worried that I might explode--her eyes were just wide enough that I could tell her concern was real, but a good portion of the look on her face was likely due to shock.

“Harry has to talk her--I mean, he’s her boyfriend, he’s the one that actually needs to explain it all.”

“But I’m her roommate,” I sighed, letting my legs dangle over the side of Millie’s bed. Her room was a mess, which wasn’t completely like her. She’d been in the middle of doing laundry and trying to clean when I came crashing through the door, and I knew she’d just gotten back from dinner.

“Rubbish,” she shrugged. “He’s the one who’s been telling her he loves her for nearly a year. He’s gotta clean this one up.”

I tried to take a deep breath. My heart rate was still dangerously high, but luckily Millie had given me a sports bra and a t-shirt to put on. The wool of my coat had been itchy and hot.

I knew that Millie had a point--Harry was closer with Quinn than I was. In fact--despite the fact that I introduced the two of them--their relationship was completely none of my business and was something that they deserved to handle behind closed doors.

Except for the fact that I’ve been making out with Quinn’s boyfriend for three weeks and she just walked in on us.

Maybe Millie was right--maybe I should tell Harry that he needed to figure this out on his own, maybe I had to put the ball in his court. Millie slurped loudly at her drink and blinked at me.

“Do you think he knows that he has to talk to her?”

She laughed, throwing her head back and letting out one, short cackle. “He’s probably so bugged out right now that he’s pacing around in his room wondering what on Earth he should say to the both of you. It’s bad enough about Quinn but now you’re upset with him as well.”

I rolled my eyes--I was upset with Harry. I didn’t really know why and I knew it didn’t really make sense, but being locked out of my own bedroom with him and feeling like I didn’t have control over anything made me impossibly irate.

“I’m never leaving this room,” I groaned, spreading my arms out above my head. I could see the Florence and The Machine poster that Millie had above her bed, though upside down, it was hard to make out the words.

“Yes you are,” Millie said with swiftness. “You’re my best friend and I love you, but there’s no room for you here. You have a boyfriend with a large bed and invitation to sleep there.”

“Harry’s not my boyfriend,” I reminded her, sitting up to stare her in the eyes. She was moving pretty quickly from talking about Harry’s professed love for Quinn to his apparent new title. “He’s Quinn’s boyfriend. He’s not mine. He’s hers and he’s my friend.”

Millie sort of snorted at this, she smiled, but my anger deterred her a little. “He’s not Quinn’s boyfriend for long.”

I rolled my eyes, disappointed that she wasn’t on the same page. I had a burning feeling of guilt in my stomach because of all of it--the last thing I needed was for Mildred to be making jokes.

I understood that Quinn was upset. I mean, clearly, walking in on your boyfriend and roommate making out is a pretty wild experience, especially when it was me and Harry. If you thought about all the history Harry and I shared, you’d probably think that I was one of the safest girls for him to be around--he used to make jokes about the thought of me being romantically involved with anyone making him want to vomit.

Quinn had trusted me. Quinn had trusted Harry. We were two important people in her life and we lied to her for weeks because we were selfish and afraid and we couldn’t face the music.

Of course I wanted to make things right--I wish I could say all of this to Quinn and explain everything and just tell her that I do care about her, even if I didn’t act like it, but I don’t think she’ll be willing to listen to anything I have to say for the foreseeable future.

I watched Millie stand from her chair, cross back over to the pile of clothes on her floor, and continue cleaning. I hoped for a second that if I was quiet and if I closed my eyes, the mattress would swallow me whole.

**

Tierney’s apartment was freezing--apparently her radiator was busted and she’d been at Gemma’s all day due to the lack of heat in her flat. Now, however, she sat next to me on the couch, wrapped in a blanket, and munched mindlessly on some chips.

Gemma had come over to say hi when I told them I was coming over, but she’d left to make the trek back to her own flat in order to go to sleep. Tierney, on the other hand, was willing to watch a movie with me when I told her I needed a distraction.

I’d told her Quinn was mad at me, but I didn’t say why. I didn’t know exactly how to explain that Quinn was mad at me because she caught me making out with her boyfriend, who also happened to be our family friend and the literal bane of my existence.

Tierney had always been nosey--so nosey, in fact, that I had to double lock my diary when I was in Year Seven because I caught her reading it twice. Tonight, though, she seemed only mildly interested in my current dilemma, at least, until I said something about Harry.

“What do you mean Harry is going to talk to her?”

I turned to see my sister’s blonde hair--it was pulled up in a bun on top of her head. She stared at me with curiosity, I knew I had almost blown it.

“Just--because, you know, he’s her boyfriend. Maybe he can talk some sense into her.”

“I don’t get what the fuck you’re talking about because you didn’t actually tell me what you did wrong.” Her eyes were wide as she stared at me with an annoyed look on her face.

I let out a sigh. Tierney had always been one for swearing, and my sour mood apparently was no exception. “I lied to her. She found out.”

“Lied to her about what?”

Jesus, Tierney. She really had no understanding of privacy.

“Her sweater.”

“Her sweater?” Tierney had her hand in the bag of chips but she stopped searching around for another handful.

I shrugged my shoulders. “I borrowed her sweater without asking--and then she saw me wearing it.”

“Oh,” she said. She pulled her head back and knit her brows together, still obviously confused about the issue.

“She would talk to me about the sweater and she said she couldn’t find it, and I didn’t tell her that I had it. So, I didn’t necessarily lie,”  I rolled my eyes. Tierney hoisted a handful of chips into her mouth and chewed. “I just avoided the truth.”

“I see,” Tierney nodded, her mouth full. She thought for a second, and after she swallowed, she watched me. “Did you give the sweater back?”

I couldn’t tell if she totally bought the story--she still looked somewhat unconvinced--but I answered her truthfully. “No, I mean, I didn’t. But she didn’t ask for it back. She just got mad. And I don’t think the sweater really suits her, just to be clear.”

“You don’t think it suits her?” Tierney laughed a little and raised her eyebrows at me.

“I just think the sweater is really--” I paused, unsure of how to keep the metaphor going. “I think it’s not her style, I think the sweater is better suited on me.”

Tierney laughed, not pushing it any further. She simply put another chip in her mouth and turned back to the movie. 

When I had called her earlier to say I was on my way over, I figured I should text Harry and tell him that I wouldn’t be shacking up with him. I didn’t think that was a great idea when Quinn would be understandably suspicious about my whereabouts. If I stayed with Tierney, I had an alibi--I even made sure to put something on my snapchat story about being in Tierney’s living room.

I watched Tierney watch the rest of the movie, mainly because her snacking on chips was incredibly distracting, but also because I couldn’t focus on a poorly executed storyline with overrated actors.

I had bigger things going on.

When it ended and Tierney claimed she was just too exhausted to do anything but sleep, I bundled up on the couch and closed my eyes, hoping that my brain would be able to power off.

I must have been able to, because after a while my thoughts slowed, and the next thing I knew it was morning. The sun was up, there were birds singing, and Quinn was still mad at me. It wasn’t just a dream.

**

I was nervous to go back to my room after class--but I’d avoided it long enough. I’d gone to my morning rehearsal without my script and I was still wearing the shirt and sports bra that Millie had lent me.

I slowed my pace when I got to the door of our room, listening for a second to determine if Quinn was inside. When I heard a bit of music, I took a deep breath, bit at my cheek, and keyed inside.

She was sat at her desk, typing something up on her computer. I met her eyes and offered a small smile--she didn’t return it.

“Hi,” I said quietly. I walked over to my bed, dropped my coat, and turned to face her. She hadn’t said a word.

When she noticed that I was watching her, she looked up at me. “What do you want?”

I’d never heard her so angry--Quinn Markos wasn’t an angry person. She was happy and cheerful and sweet. I was the reason that she wasn’t herself.

“I want to talk, just for a minute.”

She didn’t say anything, instead, she just looked at me as if she were waiting. I cleared my throat.

“I’m sorry--I know that doesn’t undo anything, and I know that it’s basically pointless to apologize because I’m an asshole, but I am sorry. There’s no excuse for what happened.”

She averted her eyes to the ground. I had no clue whether or not she had spoken with Harry, but I hoped to God that she didn’t ask me any questions. If she asked me for more information--when did it start, did we plan on telling her, do we feel guilty?--I had no clue what I should say in response.

I could be honest, I knew that--but something about telling Quinn the background story felt wrong without Harry’s knowledge.

“There aren’t any excuses. I thought I could trust you. I should have believed Harry when he told me you always slept around.” She rested her arm on the back of her chair and stared at me--her words stung, but I guess I deserved them, even if they were false. I was just thankful she wasn’t crying.

I nodded and let out a sigh. “You should have been able to trust me. And him.”

She rolled her eyes. “Don’t get me started with him--”

The way she rolled her eyes made me curious, but I wasn’t about to ask any questions--it didn’t seem like my place.

“He’s ridiculous, he was begging me to not be mad at you.”

I was still leaned up against the side of my bed, but her words almost made me lose my footing. “What? You talked to him?” Harry hadn’t told me anything--he hadn’t even texted me to let me know.

She rolled her eyes and shrugged. “He came over last night and told me that it wasn’t your fault--he started everything. He said that you just basically went along with it.”

I thought about his words. He wasn’t wrong--I mean, he did start everything and I did go along with it--but still, I wasn’t completely innocent.

“So it’s true? He started everything?”

I looked at her for a second, unsure of how to answer. Quinn had long heard Harry crack jokes about how flirtatious I was--how with one flutter of my eyelashes I could get a guy into bed--but she, too, didn’t know that I’d never actually gotten anyone in my bed. If I wanted to salvage any type of friendship with Quinn, it was in my best interest to be honest with her.

“He kissed me first,” I nodded. “He started it but I’m just as guilty for going along with it.”

At this her eyes seemed to water a bit--I considered handing her a tissue from my night stand but I didn’t know if she wanted any kind gestures.

“He must really like you if he’s willing to take the fall for all of this.” She let out a quiet laugh, but I didn’t find her words funny. “He told me he couldn’t be with me because he has feelings for you.”

The boy who told me I had frizzy hair and looked like a baby giraffe when I ran?

I felt incredibly self-conscious. I felt like my hips took up the entire room and my unruly hair was twice it’s normal size. It was weird to hear what Harry had said--especially when it was nice and it was about me. Harry had dated Quinn--the stereotypical homecoming queen and the girl who probably sweats glitter. Quinn must have been able to sense my uneasiness, she laughed again.

“Please, Harper. As if you’re not used to all of the attention in the world.”

“What are you talking about?” I crossed my arms, now I was somewhat defensive. All of the attention in the world? I wanted to shake her and tell her how for the last year the only attention I wanted was from her boyfriend.

“You’re so great and cool,” she complimented, but the look on her face told me that the words tasted like poison in her mouth. “You always have a guy interested in you and you get the leads in all the plays and you’re smart and funny and everyone likes you.”

I didn’t know what to say--her words felt untrue. Sure, maybe there were guys that were interested in me and maybe I had some success in London Met’s theatre troupe, but I felt wildly insecure when it came to Harry.

Normally it felt like people were laughing because I was making a fool out of myself singing at the top of my lungs or making stupid faces.

I didn’t know if saying it was a good idea, but I figured that I couldn’t dig myself a deeper hole. Quinn stared at me with wide eyes and waited for me to speak. “I’ve been in love with Harry since I met him--when I was six.”

She blinked twice, sucked in a breath, but didn’t speak.

“And he never gave me the time of day until this semester. And I don’t know what changed,” I laughed, trying to keep my emotions in check. “You’ll have to ask him if you want to know that, but I didn’t mean for this to happen.”

She seemed to be interested in what I was saying, so I continued. “And you can be mad at me and you can never want to speak to me again--I would understand--but I just need you to know that I didn’t go into this trying to hurt you and I know Harry didn’t either.”

She let her gaze fall to the floor, the silence washed over us for a second until she looked back up at me. “Why didn’t you tell me that you had feelings for him when he asked for my number?”

She was referring to the night they met--Quinn and I had been at some party in some dorm room, and Harry showed up with a pack of other freshmen. I tried to avoid him, but when he saw that I was standing next to Quinn, he couldn’t help but approach.

I paused for a second, thinking back to that night. “Because I didn’t think anything was ever going to happen between us. I spent fourteen years just having a stupid crush on him and--” I trailed off, unsure of where I was going. She watched me eagerly. “I wanted him to be happy.”

I couldn’t read the look on her face--granted, I think she was still taking all of it in. The poor girl had an emotional last twenty-four hours, so I broke eye contact and headed for my closet. I changed in the bathroom and grabbed the books I needed for my afternoon class.

I almost paused on my way out the door to apologize again, but when I looked over at my roommate and saw her eyes filled with tears, I didn’t have it in me to say anything.

**

I was just about to finish mopping up when Louis called my name. I was in the back, and after two full days of avoiding both Quinn and Harry, I was ready for a shower and a long night of sleep. We were gearing up for tech week, and the weekend of the play was only days away.

Louis didn’t sound angry, so I walked out to the front of The Counter with somewhat of a smile on my face. He’d been giving me shit all night about the shift I’d missed--faking sick was really a true calling of mine--and I was sure he was about to give me some more.

I was surprised, though, to see Niall standing near the register, staring at something on his phone. I wiped my hands on my apron and cleared my throat.

“Hey,” I said, offering him a small smile.

“Hi,” he said, shoving his phone in his pocket. “I figured you might be here.”

I nodded, unsure of why he’d come in the first place. He was quiet for a moment, but then he spoke. “I heard about what happened--with you and Harry and Quinn.”

“You did?”

I was surprised--I figured neither Harry nor Quinn were going around and telling everyone about the shitshow that ensued on Sunday night. Niall nodded and waited for me to speak.

I shrugged, feeling guilty and annoyed and upset and tired. “Yeah--me and Harry are assholes.”

Niall let out a small laugh. “Is that why you wanted me to get with Quinn?”

I rolled my eyes, annoyed by own desperate attempt to clean up my own mess. “Yeah, I mean, I guess. I do think you guys would be good together, but--if it weren’t for all of this stuff between me and Harry I probably wouldn’t have said that to you the other night.”

He nodded, and he seemed sympathetic. Instead of passing judgment and telling me off, he seemed to be interested in understanding what had happened.

“Who told you that Quinn found out?”

“She did,” he said. “She called me that night and we talked for a bit.”

Quinn had called Niall to talk about it? Quinn--the girl who came into the world with a pearl necklace around her throat and her pink up--called my swearing, football loving friend for comfort? I couldn’t help but be somewhat hopeful; maybe Quinn and Niall would work out after all.

I only nodded, I didn’t want to seem more selfish than I already had been. Niall shoved his hands in his pockets. “So--you and Harry like, a thing then?”

I shook my head quickly--I didn’t know if it was true, but I certainly didn’t need Niall reporting anything back to Quinn. “I have no idea, to be honest.”

He laughed a little. “Well, just wanted to make sure you were okay. I know Quinn’s upset, but, I think she’ll come around.”

I didn’t know what to say--I was hoping that she would, and maybe Niall had more insight to her feelings than I did, but I also didn’t need to go pressing anything right now. “I hope she does,” I told him.

He offered a wave and said goodbye, gaining a dirty look from Louis who emerged from the kitchen just as Niall turned to head out. Once he was gone and the door to the outside had shut, Louis came up to the counter.

I’d filled him in a little on the situation, but if he’d heard anything Niall said, I knew he had more of the pieces to put together. “You and Styles? The guy who always wears baggy collared shirts?”

I laughed at Louis’ description and rolled my eyes--yes, unfortunately Louis was right. Me and the kid with the baggy collared shirts. He wiped at a spill on the counter but watched me for a second.

“I can see it--good thing he’s taller than you.”

Louis was always making cracks about my height--I think he didn’t like the fact that I pretty much towered over him. Tonight, though, I didn’t have the energy to fight him. He let me finish my shift in peace, and after I clocked out, I walked the long way home just to gather my thoughts.

I’d yet to sleep in the same room with Quinn since Saturday (thank God for Tierney’s couch), and I had no clue if she was even in the mood to look at me, let alone be five feet from me.

My honesty with Quinn the day after The Incident--which is what I had taken to calling it when I spoke with Mille--left me more confused than I had originally been. Quinn knew everything--there were no secrets, no lies. She knew how I felt about Harry and she knew what had been going on. The only thing she didn’t know was that I was still a virgin.

Her words about my apparent reputation stung--and if it weren’t for the current situation, I probably would have been angry. Sure, Quinn might not have been aware of my lack of action, but she certainly knew me well enough to know that I had never been sleeping around.

As far as I knew, Harry was the only one to ever really bring it up--Liam and Niall had made a few cracks, as had some of Harry’s other friends, but the reputation I’d gained seemed to be much more entertaining to Harry than it was to anyone else. At least before all of this happened.

The night air was cold and I kept my hands shoved in my pockets, keeping my face tucked into my scarf as I walked. Harry had stopped trying to contact me on Monday night, and when he didn’t show up for our Tuesday class together, I figured it was better to leave him alone. Maybe he needed space, too.

I was about to swipe into my building when I heard a voice call my name behind me--it didn’t take me long to recognize who it was.

I turned to find him standing with his jacket zipped all the way up to his mouth--hiding his face from the cold. He was only a few steps behind me, and when I turned abruptly, he stopped walking.

“Are you following me?”

He shrugged slightly but didn’t speak.

“Have you been behind me this whole way?” I was annoyed--why had he waited this long to get my attention--why did he follow me in the first place?

He cleared his throat and pulled his jacket away from his mouth. “I didn’t really know what to say--I came to the The Counter but then I saw you leaving.”

I didn’t respond, I didn’t know what to say. I had a million thoughts and a thousand feelings--but I had no idea how to go about addressing him now that everything was out in the open.

“Can we talk?”

I took my hands out of my pockets and let out an annoyed laugh. “About what? What is there to say? Where do we even go from here?”

I think my anger caught him off guard--his eyes were wide and his lips were slightly parted. “I dunno--I just want to talk. You’ve been ignoring me.”

“You didn’t show up to class yesterday,” I told him quickly. I wasn’t about to let him act like I was the only one avoiding the issue.

“Harper,” he sighed, and the way he looked down at his feet made me more angry. “Maybe we just shouldn’t do this, if you can’t even handle it.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” I crossed my arms, watching him closely. Do this? Can’t handle it?

He looked up at me now, there were dark circles under his eyes as if he hadn’t slept in days. I probably looked similar.

“Be together!” He said quickly, ignoring the couple that passed by us on the sidewalk outside of my building. They looked in our direction and quieted their voices. “How are we supposed to do this if you won’t even speak to me about it?”

“That’s not how it was supposed to happen!” I yelled at him, my voice cracking at the end of the sentence. I clenched my teeth together, willing myself to suppress any and all emotion that threatened to bubble over. “She wasn’t supposed to find out like that!”

“I’m aware!” he yelled back, shaking his head as he looked up to the sky. “That wasn’t my choice--that’s just how it happened. That’s not my fault.”

I let out an angry laugh, desperately trying to hide the tears that pooled in my eyes. Harry watched me for a second, his gaze made my cheeks hot and my head hurt. When I didn’t say anything, he sighed. “Forget it, Harper.”

I watched as he shoved his hands back in his pockets and turn his back to me. He’d become so much more than the boy who pushed me off the swing at recess and the one person who knew all of my embarrassing stories. He’d long been someone I loved, and he’d long been someone I hated.

But now in the dark on a Wednesday night--he was the person that I wanted to kiss, the person I wanted to scream at, and the person I simply wanted most.