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sambart93 · 6 years

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2018.08.21-22 Sengoku Night Blood, SenBura Stage [Review]

Official Site here Official Twitter here Press Coverage 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 Video Coverage 1, 2 DVD PreOrder here and here and here

CAST and CHARACTERS

ODA CLAN Kubota Hidetoshi as Oda Nobunaga Matsumoto Hinata as Akechi Mitsuhide Yokoda Ryugi as Mori Ranmaru Hagio Keishi as Niwa Nagahide Kishimoto Takuya as Shibata Katsuie

UESUGI CLAN Maeyama Takahisa as Uesugi Kenshin Jinnai Sho as Naoe Kanetsugu Aramaki Yoshihiko as Uesugi Kagekatsu

TOYOTOMI CLAN Akazawa Tomoru as Toyotomi Hideyoshi Sadamoto Fuuma as Takenaka Hanbei TAKA as Kuroda Kanbei Yamamoto Ikkei as Maeda Toshiie

Mizukoshi Ayumi as Yuzuki Fujiwara Natsumi as Imari (voice only) Sasaki Yoshihide as Ishida Mitsunari (voice only)

Ensemble: Ando Keisuke, Izumi Shintaro, Ichinose Yoshihito, Terada Yohei, Matsumoto Naoya, Shinozaki Atsushi

NON-SPOILER REVIEW

Overall: This was not as bad as I was expecting (Pre-Thoughts under the cut) but it wasn’t that much good to be honest. The story was pretty boring (it’s a carbon copy of the anime, I was hoping they’d spice something up) but the characters (in terms of personality) were different to what they are in the anime/game; the songs were cringey - especially where they placed them - and honestly were totally unnecessary -- keeping it as a straight stage would’ve been best. The action choreography was very boring, very repetitive, and none of them have unique fighting styles at all; except MakiChan who was obviously given the ‘OK’ to incorporate the choreography he’s learnt from TouStage into this stage. Some parts of this story just DRAGGED OUT while other parts of the story, that should’ve been longer, were short as fuck. The balance, and what they chose to extend, and what they chose to skim over were just all poor choices. The comedy in this IS good; huge kudos to KishiTaku, Ikkei, Tomorun and Taka for the comedic moments because they were very funny and got huge laughs from me and from almost all the audience every time. But the comedy is stretched out with no real rhythm; the entire middle section is just serious whereas the beginning and end is comedy; would’ve been better if they had spread it out more evenly rather than at either end. The costumes looked GREAT! I do give huge kudos to the stylist team because those outfits were very detailed and very well made, I really enjoyed spending time looking over them all. There ARE chunks of this stage that I did enjoy: Kagekatsu’s entrance, Shibata&Niwa’s banter, the higawaris, Tomorun as Toyotomi was perfect etc., but there was so much more that annoyed me or that I wish was different or that I wish had been added that my overall feeling for this stage is meh. And I just felt sorry for the actress in all honesty. I watched her during the curtain call everytime and she just didn't seem happy. When everyone was walking off stage, being stupidly and waving in the crowd, she just kept this small smile on her face with her hands behind her back and walked off quietly; she obviously knows the fans outrage but I wanted her to join in somewhat too. She was already there, she might as well enjoy it. I did feel bad for her. To be honest, the best part of this whole stage? The curtain call! The curtain call was absolutely hilarious! I watched 3 times so I got curtain calls from Sadamoto, Kubota, Hagio, MakiChan, MaeChan and Jinnai-kun. And their curtain call speeches were absolutely hilarious and so much fun! The three from Uesugi clan; Mae, Maki and Jinnai were absolutely hysterical! They were sooooo funny in curtain call! There was no point giving them individual curtain calls because they all ended up talking together and messing around and doing some skits with each other; they were so funny! Absolutely hilarious! But it is technically really sad that the best part about this stage was the damn curtain call and when they were all able to be themselves again... Rating: 4/10. If we include the curtain calls then 5/10 because they really were worth the 2 hour struggle.

SPOILER REVIEW

I had enough time, shhh we're ignoring the fact of how far behind I am on my OTHER reviews, to write down some PRE-thoughts and predictions and stuff. I like remembering what I was thinking and feeling beforehand too... So for the stuff this month (ie. in August), each one has this written.

Pre-Thoughts: I am so worried about this play! I was SUPER excited at first but then they announced it was going to be a MUSICAL and not just a stage... THAT'S a terrible choice in my opinion. I think this would be a lot stronger as a normal stage. Next worry I have, in particular, is Sadamoto Fuma and Yokoda Ryugi. Not because of the actors themselves, but because both of them are playing characters I ABSOLUTELY love and adore in the game and I really, really don't want them to fuck it up... Then we have Hagio who, from my previous things I've seen him in, I just don't understand his acting, I just don't like him. So that's another I'm not hopeful about. Then we have MaeChan and Jinnai... while I trust them as actors... for some reason I'm worried about them playing Uesugie and Naoe... especially because Uesugi is really popular and important and is a fan favourite, and Naoe... I just have a connection to him because he's a character in Honoo no Mirage so I already have MakiChan and Hiramaki Jin as my Naoe. Then my finally worry is the damn story... the only COMPLETE clan in this stage is Oda-gumi, so that means it'll be Oda-history-central. So does that mean we're getting ANOTHER stage about Honoouji no Hen? TouStage already covered Oda's history. We already have Hakuouki and TouMyu for historical musicals. So WHY is SenBura a musical and focusing on Oda?! Finally, the other story worry is... they announced the female character’s actress the Sunday two weeks before the damn show started... hmmmm.... ALSO the damn Arasuji-Synopsis hasn't even been put up yet! It STARTS in two weeks! ARGH!!! So yes I am completely filled with worry BUT that isn't going to stop me going and watching it three times...

Real spoilers start now...

If you’ve seen the anime or played the game then you know the story so I won’t bother writing it out. Also we’ll be sign coded: ☆ for neutral or positives and ★ for negative comments.

General Comments:

★ The amount of empty seats at each show. Especially in the front rows just made me sad. The first show, the entire third balcony was empty. The second show, the third floor was half empty. And I think again for the third show, I went to, the entire 3 balcony was empty. There was almost no one for touji every time. And think their only sold out show was the first Sunday night show and that's it. Just hurts. And I always had at least 2 seats on one side of me all to myself; I had a 9th and 10th first floor seat. When I was on the 3rd balcony, I had the ENTIRE row to myself. Just hurts my heart...

★ The story is a carbon copy of the anime/game story which really bummed me out. I kind of wanted some of it to be different, especially with how great all the guys (personality wise) are in this, I wanted some more. I especially wanted more historical aspects and their relationships between each other to be more detailed and in-depth.

★ There isn’t so much of a plot.... I really felt like ‘why is she here?’ because even the romance plot-line was non-existent besides the one or two scenes she has with Toyotomi and the only reason Toyotomi has this plot line is because Tomoru is one of the lesser actors so fans won't get as pissy about it if it’s him with the plotline -- you can obviously tell who the bigger stars are by the way their stories are written and their relationship with Yuzuki (very much non-existent so the fans of theirs don't get pissy) and the fact that only THEY got SOLO SONGS. And even with her in, they don’t really explain WHY she is there. The mention Meguhime ONCE and that's all! And then we spend the rest of the play looking for her stupid phone -- why would she need it?! Why does she need it here?! It ain't gonna work! So why look for it?! Ugh... And they don't explain her at all. They very quickly go 'oh we know you have magical blood but none of us will use it as a weapon of war' and that's it! So why is she there?! Just ughhh.... you could've very easily taken her out of it and just kept it between the boys and their stories and their dynamic. She really was unnecessary. There’s literally nothing about her that is explained that’s linked to the main plot and there isn’t really a plot at all. But I guess that matches the games plot... sorry, I stopped reading the stories after the first Uesugi chapter xD

★ But going ALL against that, I feel like almost all their personalities in this are different to what they’re like in the game - or at least how I’ve imagined it. And this caused problems for me. But this also goes back to my non-spoiler comment of 'they spent more time on stuff that wasn't important and didn't flesh out the parts that would've been good' and one of these parts is the boys' personalities and histories and relationships etc. I wanted ALL that! I wanted more! AND the very short time we do spent with, say, Niwa...Hanbee...Kuroda...Ranmaru... I felt like ALL their personalities were SO different to what we've become accustomed to in the game. Especially Hanbei and Ranmaru. I LOVE these two in the game! Hanbei is CRAZY as shit in the game! He's so damn creepy and he's so risky and loves putting Yuzuki in danger, but in this stage? He is literally her BFF and just acts like a child. WHAT? That's not Hanbei! And with Ranmaru?! Where's his creepy as voice?! Where's his constant threaten to steal Yuzuki's blood in this?! There was none of it! Give me my creepy boys back! So yeah, safe to say I didn't like Fuuma or Yokoda as my favourite boys. BUT again, I blame this on the script, and the fact they didn’t want to piss fans off. If they had spent more time, especially with the Ranmaru x Hanbee fighting scene, then maybe we could've seen their personalities more, we could've heard their voices more, they would've had more time to show me the characters that I love. But no -___- Oh and MakiChan's character?! He changed him COMPLETELY! First of all his voice was no where near as soft and he very quickly changes all because of Yuzuki! Which pissed me off! Kagekatsu is supposed to be this shy, quiet, timid, I'm worried about what my father will do and what he thinks, type of guy but in the stage, MakiChan basically goes to Yuzuki straight away, he opens up STRAIGHT away, he goes against his father STRAIGHT away, he goes to save her rather than his father STRAIGHT AWAY. It really rubbed me the wrong way. Again, if we had spent MORE time with the transition of this character then maybe it would've been more justified but he literally changes within a day.

Sigh... let's get some good in here...

☆ KishiTaku, Ikkei and Tomorun were the funniest! They were absolutely hilarious! Their parts during the higawaris were genius and even when it was scripted comedy their timing and their performance of those comedic moments were spot on and perfect and had me laughing hard (and most of the audience) every time! They were so good as the comedic ones and I wish they had been given more time to be funny. TAKA and Hagio had a very funny moments too! They both were good but were a little bit inconsistent compared to the three above, but that could just be down to their personality/their acting style/their stage experience.

☆ TAKA looked very pretty as Kanbei and he did a really good job as Kanbei too!

☆ The costumes looked much better and more fitted in person than it does in the visuals and everything. Their costumes were so gorgeous and so detailed! I spent just as much time looking and googling all over their costumes as I did watching the play. They were seriously well made and looked so gorgeous!

☆ I realised afterwards just how many damn PuriStage actors there are in this! We have KishiTaku, Hinata and Ayumi -- okay maybe not so many but when I realised, it made me think that maybe the casting director had been to PuriStage and dediced to take a few from there. But PuriStage was a big project so maybe it's just a coincidence xD

Okay back to a few more bad points...

★ I wish...I really wish... I REALLY wish... I really, REALLY wish they hadn’t put the songs in this. They felt so unnecessary. And the parts where they did put them in felt so awkward and out of place and just didn't fit in my opinion. And the dances in them were so cringey too. Everything to do with the songs were cringey. They really were not needed. And the favouritism in the songs too! Only MakiChan, MaeChan and Ikkei got solo songs. Why? Because they're the most popular actors? Because they sold you the most tickets? Because they're getting the biggest salary? Because (2 of them) they did the game as well as the stage? Just what was the stupid logic against giving them solo songs? Their characters aren't even that important -- as in they aren't the main characters! Why give Oda a group song, then Maki and Mae solo songs, then a Toyotomi group song and finally an Ikkei solo song? Seriously, what was the fucking point besides 'cos their fans are the ones that'll be coming the most' such bullshit. And the songs... just why put them in.... and oh god the dancing during the songs.. especially Jinnai's dance during MaeChan's song... that was weird as fuck. I cringed so much in my seat.

★ There’s not enough comedy spread evenly. There's comedy with Oda Clan and Toyotomi clan but smack in the middle where we have this huge Uesugi plot line, there is no comedy and it really drags the story and the stage. Spreading the comedy out more evenly would've been best.

★ The fighting choreography wasn’t good. None of them were unique. They literally all had the same exact style, except for MakiChan who obviously was allowed to use his TouStage skills. It was bland, uninteresting, you couldn't tell any uniqueness between any of them, it was all very repetitive skills. Maybe I've just been spoiled by the magnificence that is TouStage's choreography but... even Shinobi no Saga (review still to come), every single character had a unique way of fighting and you could easily see the difference between them all! And that's supposed to be from a production company that's way below Marv and Kadokawa's level and even they managed! I seriously tried to find something different about each of their fighting styles but it was all the same...

★ The final point is me being nitpicky but I really hated how they did ‘Oda’s Castle’ and ‘Later that Night’ and ‘The Night Day’ signs in the background. I understand it’s because ‘ooohh just like the game!’ but it just felt condescending and pointless to me. We KNOW we’re at Oda’s castle, and it really doesn’t matter how much time passes or whether it’s the same night or not; it really does not matter for this story.

Back to the final few neutrals/positives!

☆ I noticed MakiChan is still favouring his left leg when he runs and fights and spins and stuff but it’s understandable. We don't want him going completely back onto his right leg and fucking it up again.

☆ I really, really enjoyed that for a lot of the play there is a lack of music and it's just the characters talking. I noticed it straight away and at first it was odd but I grew to love it very quickly.

☆ Imari is cute as all hell okay. I will fight anymore who thinks any different. And I absolutely love HOW they animated him and the different situations they put him in in this!

☆ Related to the costumes but, the wigs in this also are very well done! They looked very well made and they flopped around properly and looked really good!

Now for specific parts; I’ll split this into the order in which the story flows:

1. Yuzuki going from her world to the introduction of SenBura’s world:

☆ The show opens with her. The introduction of her is very quick and they establish her transportation to the SenBura world very quickly too which was nice. Within the first 2 or 3 minutes we go into Senbura’s world and we get thrown right into a fight scene where all the members are individually introduced.

☆ I like how quick the opening is.

☆ I like how they introduce each character. They each come in and then they pause as their name and title pops up on the screen behind, and a spotlight is on them. A very quick and efficient way of introducing everyone.

☆ The yakuma/bad guys/creatures’ first entrance is really good and the stunts they do here is great! One of them does a back flip and such.

★ The Yakuma picks Yuzuki up but then immediately puts her back down. Why?? You successfully captured her at that point? I really don't understand, besides plot-armour, why they grabbed her and then put her back down...

2. With Oda Clan:

Yuzuki is very quickly snatched by Oda while Toyotomi and Uesugi bicker as to who should take her. So she goes to Oda's castle first.

☆ I really, really, really loved KishiTaku's comedy in this. He was so funny and so perfect as Shibata! He had so many good moments! A few to mention is just after Yuzuki gets comfortable there and Shibata decides to bring Niwa and Yuzuki along to go boar hunting with them, but before they leave, he wants to get some stuff so he's like 'You should come (with us on the trip). But wait here (while I get the goods)' but she doesn't understand if he just changed his mind about her joining and she goes 'well which one?' and his reply 'どっち？どっちでも笑 // Which one? Both! *laughs*' and it was very well timed and delivered.

☆ So they go boar hunting but they spot Imari who they think is a regular tanuki, so Shibata declares 'change of plans! We chase the tanuki instead!' so they run on and off stage about 3 times chasing Imari (it's very funny) and eventually get more tired every time. It gets to sunset and they're exhausted with no boar or tanuki in hand. But they completely forget to check that Yuzuki stayed with them so Shibata turns around, sees her and goes 'yup... いるな / she's there!' and continues chasing the tanuki xD I really love the Tanuki chase scene so much. It’s very funny seeing them getting more and more out of breath as they keep going past.

☆ After chasing the boar, Shibata tries to hug Niwa but Niwa is like 'don't touch me! You're covered in sweat' but Shibata continues to try and hug him and jokes 'well from now on you can be... not Nagahide, but Asehide! (ase means 'sweat')'.

☆ Later, Shibata and Niwa manage to get the boar and bring back it's meat but they start arguing over who actually got it. 'I was the one who suggested we go' 'But I was the one who captured it!' 'But I was the one who brought the meat here!' And when they argue amongst themselves, Yuzuki laughs and says something like 'you both did well! That's so cool!' and they turn to her and immediately their faces soften and they go 'な！！！な〜〜 // I did it, RIGHT!! *Yuzuki talks* ...riiiight' all happily. It was very funny.

☆ Akechi gets injured and has to rest at one point and so all the boys want him to feel better. Ranmaru is on his way with food for Akechi when Yuzuki spots him and he gets all embarrased and lies who the food is for. Then Shibata and Niwa come back with the meat and try to give it to Akechi and Ranmaru is like 'at least cook it before you give it to him!', and then Niwa takes out these Obako leaves (= the English is 'Plantago asiatica'.) and tries to give them to Akechi but Ranmaru slaps them out of his hands and they fall to the floor. Immediately Niwa gets all quiet and depressed and is like '....洗ったのに / I even washed them.... I washed them.... even though I washed them...' and Ranmaru feels very upset so picks them up, cleans them and puts them in the rice porridge for Akechi. It was a very cute moment! The next moment was great too! So they're all in Akechi's room and they get super upclose to him as he goes to eat the rice porridge, in anticipation of what he thinks about it, but they get too close and so Akechi feels uncomfortable and stops, then tries again, then stops again, and tries again. Finally he does eat it and says it's good and they all smile and are relieved. It was cute. Also, because Akechi is okay and is enjoying the rice porridge, Shibata starts crying and Niwa looks up to the sky to try and stop himself crying.

☆ Shibata cries about two or three times while we're in this first section and it was adorable and really cute.

★ I was a little sad to find out just how much of the comedy was scripted. I really wanted the AseHide to be higawari, and I really wanted the 'どっち？どっちでも笑 // Which one? Both!' to be higawari and/or ad-lib too but it wasn't. So I was a little disappointed, BUT kudos to KishiTaku who made it feel so natural every time and the timing was always so good!

★ The Oda group song is right at the end of their story arc and it just felt really sudden and out of place. It's not a bad song but the placing is really awkward and the dancing is pretty cringey. I think for the group songs they just used the anime clan ones, but the solo songs seem original for the play.

★ I wish we had been allowed penlights and audience participation because penlights would've been perfect for this Oda group song.

★ As predicted in my pre-thoughts, I didn't warm up to Yokoda's Ranmaru. First, his voice is too low, in comparison to the characters visuals and the seiyuu's voice in the game, and he just wasn't creepy enough and he didn't seem as innocent.

★ Oda just 10000% reminded me of Hakuouki's Hijikata in this. I know both of them were similar in real like; both are pretty disliked, both are stern, both are strict, but I didn't like how Kubota's Oda just reminded me of Hakuouki's Hijikata completely (FYI I HATE Hakuouki's Hijikata).

★ Hagio did well in some parts, like he got a giggle out of me from the Obako scene (his delivery was inconsistent for it though. The second show I saw, he did the best delivery of this scene), and I liked Nagahide and Shibata arguing at each other, but for the most part he was very.... forgettable. Outside of those two scenes, I don't remember him in this stage at all. He's just so forgettable to me. And one of these scenes, he's only good in it because he's got KishiTaku to work with who's really good at these angry but comedic scenes; he had someone to work with so it wasn't even with his own acting skills that I enjoyed those scenes. And Niwa is very much the same as every other character I've ever seen him play so he wasn't memorable to me in this. I know he has a LOT of fans so,

DEAR HAGIO FANS: is there a stage of his you recommend I see? What was his best performance? I'm open to changing my mind!

★ At the end of this story arc, they end up fighting the Yakuma again and this is when Toyotomi shows up again to fight Oda, and Kagekatsu saves her while they fight amongst themselves. During this battle scene, I wanted more Ranmaru x Hanbei fighting so I could get a better opinion on the actors and their performance. But in this scene, they just clash swords and then run off stage, so all their fighting is done OFF STAGE. Which really annoyed me! Why not spend more time showing me the boys fighting and their dynamics? I don't need to see Yuzuki getting saved; you can do that off stage! Show me the boys fighting each other, give me interesting dialogue between them, show me their rivalry! ESPECIALLY show me a long fight between Ranmaru and Hanbei because they're my two favourite characters!!!! Ugh...

3. With Uesugi Clan:

So during the last battle, Kagekatsu shows up, almost like a spy because he's all covered up, and saves Yuzuki from the battle field and takes her to Uesugi's castle. Here Kenshin explains that Oda wants to use her blood as a weapon, but here they swear never to use it for such use and that she should just relax here for the time being, especially because she got injured during that battle so it'll take some time to heal.

☆ Kagekatsu gets attacked during that Oda-arc-ending battle pretty badly by the Yakuma and he ends up on the floor in a lot of pain, but being close to Yuzuki, who's leg was cut open, he can sense her blood and I really liked how here we had Kagekatsu's heartbeat as the main sound and every time his heart beat, Maki would jolt to the sound, it was very well done. I really liked this small moment.

☆ Also during this battle, Kagekatsu first comes on stage with a hood on, so as to hide his face, but when the Yakuma attack, his hood naturally falls down and it's really nice. In the third show actually, the hood even fell of his shoulders but he caught it very smoothly and just kept it in his hand as he pulls Yuzuki away from the battle.

☆ Again, staying with this battle at the end of Oda's arc, you can tell MakiChan got to choose and do his own choreography, because it was far advanced compared to everyone else's, and it at least looked unique compared to everyone else too. It's really obvious that it's his choreography from TouStage.

☆ I really, really liked the practise/keiko scene between Kagekatsu and Naoe. It was a small scene but I really appreciated and enjoyed it.

☆ Prior to MaeChan’s solo, there is a scene between him and Naoe where they talk about Kagekatsu and how he has changed as well as how Kenshin plans to keep Uesugi's clan alive and Naoe is like ‘I will protect you no matter what, I will always be by your side’. I really liked this scene between them.

☆ So we have MakiChan's solo... I'm on the fence about this one. It IS a good song and you can tell he was really putting his all into the song, and he's not necessarily a bad singer. BUT again, it just feels out of place to randomly have a song put here and there.

☆ At the end of this arc we have a battle between Uesugi and Toyotomi, Toyotomi's clan essentially ambushes Kagekatsu and Naoe so they can steal Yuzuki. Once Yuzuki has been taken, Kagekatsu and Naoe are to the front-right of the stage with a single spotlight on them and you just know that on the DVD/BR that is going to be a great two shot on it! Also you can clearly see the chemistry between MakiChan and Jinnai in this!

★ I feel MakiChan’s Kagekatsu was much different in this compared to him in the anime and game itself. It felt like he very quickly changed from being this shy and timid and worried character to suddenly defying his father and being stong and outspoken. It was all a bit strange and sudden. And it was even weirder when at the end he goes to save Yuzuki rather than his father which is also strange because he would never abandon his father, especially when you see how he is in the game.

★ MaeChan's solo song. It was awkwardly placed, it's not a good song and oh god the worse part is Jinnai in this song. Jinnai's dancing during MaeChan’s solo is weird. Weird as all hell. I hate the projection mapping visuals in this song too.

★ It was strange that MakiChan and MaeChan got solo songs in this rather than an group Uesugi song... Favouritism much?

★ This middle section arc with Uesugi has no comedy in it so while it is intersting to an extent, it felt like it dragged towards the end of this arc. Even though, I think, it's the smallest arc out of the 3 clans, it drags compared to the other two arcs because they have stupidity and silliness in them.

4. With Toyotomi Clan:

So Toyotomi ambush Naoe and Kagekatsu while they are in the forest looking for Yuzuki's phone (apparently a main plot of this stage, ugh. Why would you need your phone?! You cannot use it here! Dumbass.)

☆During the ambush, Ikkei came on stage with a kimono wrapped around his body and head and he was pretending to be a girl and stealing Yuzuki xD

☆ Obviously Yuzuki is pissed when she's first taken to Toyotomi so she pushes him away and Toyotomi is just like 'chinmoku // you won't respond'. I really like the end of this scene when Toyotomi goes 'Ki ga Kawatta == I've changed my mind' and everyone think he's pissed because Yuzuki pushes him away but instead he's like 'let's go find your SumaBo'.

☆ I love how they call it a SumaBo instead of a SumaHo (for Smartphone). And after she's explained it they're like 'So you press it and then... do this. So thiiisss then thiiis / こうでおう〜' which got a lot of good laughs.

☆ The higawaris were gold in this! I'll try and break it down by each performance. The set-up for the higawari is that they get a letter and a stone from Ishida Mitsunari and he says it looks like something every time so then they have to improvise and each time a different member was chosen too. Tuesday Night: The rock was balancable so Ikkei tried to balance it on his purlicue but he kept dropping it and we all died of laughter. Wednesday Afternoon: The rock was omanjuu so Kanbei tried to eat it, but it didn't work so then he tried to cut it with his sword. And Ikkei was at the other side of the stage yelling 'Mada Kanbei Ikeru! // It's still alive Kanbei!' so Kanbei kept trying to break it. Wednesday Night: The rock was a yakizakana (fried fish) and Sadamoto had to do the improve for it this time so he put the rock down and pretend to fry it and cover it in salt and everything. It was pretty funny.

☆ Toyotomi gets drunk one night and ends up running out of the castle. Eventually he comes back, claiming he's found Yuzuki's SumaBo and when she opens the box, inside is a まつぼくり/Matsubokuri/Pine Cone. At first she's like 'what is this?' and Toyotomi replies 'well you said it was something with lots of buttons and you press it and then you put it to your ear. Well, that's it!' and she's like 'this isn't it'. So in horror Toyotomi slowly turns to Kanbei for confidence and Kanbei just nods so Toyotomi turns back to Yuzuki, 'no, this is a Sumabo!'. But she replies 'but... what can I do with this?' and again he turns to Kanbei, but this time Kanbei turns away from Toyotomi's stare. There's a moment of silence before Toyotomi yells out in anger, picks up the pine cone and throws it off stage. Kanbei goes running for it and when he comes back (at least in the second show,) he jumps down the stairs and lands perfectly in front of Yuzuki and gives it back to her. The comedic timing in this scene is very well done and had me giggling everything time. During the Wednesday afternoon show when I saw this, part of Taka's outfit actually broke off and fell next to Toyotomi, and Tomorun picked it up so confused which got everyone laughing. It was almost like he was thinking 'why you giving me this?!' xD and then Tomorun smoothly gave it back to TAKA who was also confused, so he hadn't realised it'd come off xD

☆ Drunk Tomorun/Toyotomi was great!! He really knew how to act, and he would stumble about and the boys would try and keep him upright and such.

☆ TAKA's Kanbei was actually very good too! He looked very pretty too!

☆ There are scenes where MakiChan and Tomorun both fall to the ground and I thought both of them did very well at it. It looked realistic enough.

☆ Also Tomorun is really great with the big jumps he had to do.

☆ One thing I've always loved about Tomorun's acting is how fluidly he can switch between temperaments. There's some scenes in this where he goes from really happy and then suddenly gets really dark; or the other way around, and I love it when he switches between two. It really worked well for Toyotomi's character!

☆ There is actually a proposal scene from Toyotomi in this arc and it was really sweet; It's when they're going through the streets of his town and I really enjoyed it. It was super cute that he was like 'after this war, please be my wife.' and she replies 'are you proposing to me?' and, with a nice detail, he replies 'what's a propose?'.

★ For the Toyotomi group song, I really wish there had been audience participation for it because of how fun it is! The boys clearly were singing about and making it look like they were celebrating and having a party while singing, so it would've been nice if the audience had been allowed to clap and cheer along with them.

★ There is one part of this play that really irked me. So there is a scene where Hanbei explains, to make her feel welcome, that he'll make whatever she wants to eat, so she replies 'Pasta'. Naturally the boys don't know what pasta is, given the time period, so they ask her what it is and she replies 'oh that's difficult to explain'. Now the first time around, this didn't bother me, BUT upon my second and third viewing, my brain immediately thought 'hold up bitch, they fucking know what noodles are! Why not just explain that pasta is HARD, straight noodles?! Stupid idiot.' Seriously, noodles were brought to Japan from China about 800AD in the Heian Period, which is WAY before the Sengoku period! It really, really, really, really, really has gotten to me that she was too dumb to liken pasta to noodles!! THEY HAD NOODLES!!!! JUST EXPLAIN PASTA IS LIKE NOODLES!!! Can you tell how much this little skip-over in the script and the fact she didn't even both explaining what pasta is, has gotten to me?! Is Yuzuki supposed to be this stupid, ignorant 21st century adult who never paid attention to history class? Because I'm pretty sure IN THE GAME she realises who she's with and she realises 'oh I can't say what'll happen to them in case I change history' or was I making that part of the game up for myself? ALSO the freaking production company is MARV; they KNOW their audience knows and likes history, they KNOW this audience has seen Hakouki, TouStage, TouMyu, so WHY skip over this nice little tidbit of history that would've been a nice little addition to the script. But NOOOO she was too lazy to even bother to explain WHAT PASTA IS!!! I need to go breathe somewhere...

★Linking to this argument. There are two times in fact where she says '説明は難しい = this is difficult to explain' rather than actually explaining. That is SLOPPY, POOR writing. You could've easily just explained away the pasta thing. The other scene where she sloppily says this is when she's with them and she says 'Oh this place is much like my own world, yet it's different too' and they asks her 'why?' and she just replies '説明は難しい = this is difficult to explain'. But to me this is again just sloppy writing! You could've easily had her say 'oh the sakura trees and the architecture is the same but where I'm from we have these huge buildings and giant lights that stay on all night' or something like that. It just sparks laziness to me that the script writer couldn't be bothered to have her say even this much. Did they just want her to be dumb as fuck or something? Just *sigh*...

****Or maybe it's just me; maybe people usually just go to enjoy and to be entertained and don't think so logically about things. Maybe it's just me and my personality; I really love looking into such details, I really love thinking over such things; this is why my reviews will always have a negative to them. I don't go just to be entertained: I want to be entertained, but I also want to be made to think, I enjoy thinking things over. So yes, this really got to me! I can’t even think of pasta the same way anymore...

★ At the end of this scene, Toyotomi clan finds out that Uesugi have gone missing and that Oda have been ambushed by the Yakuma. It's at this moment that the boys are like 'lets take over their castles while they're gone!' but Yuzuki is against it and starts yelling that they should go and help them. Now I understand she had good intentions, but my god, her screaming and yelling is the worst ugh. It was really difficult to understand what she was saying because it just wasn't clear when she was yelling and screaming.

5. Final Battle:

So the final battle is when Toyotomi is finally convinced he should help Uesugi clan, who have gone missing, and Oda clan who are ambushed by the yakuma, and there is a giant yakuma roaming the land.

☆ There was slow-motion during Ikkei's solo as they were battling which I thought was really cool!

★ But why Ikkei got a solo song (besides favouritism and fan-service) I have no idea, because he isn't exactly a main character. But it wasn't a bad song.

☆ I really, really liked the duo fight scene with Kenshin and Naoe in this final battle.

★ But the choreography in this final scene was very obviously the same for everyone else and repetitive.

☆ Towards the end when Toyotomi swoops in and save Naoe and Kagekatsu, Kagekatsu tries to help Toyotomi out but he's like 'go to your father! Go and help him!' and Tomorun's final 'Ikeeeee / LEAVE NOW!' to Kagekatsu was so cool and so great!

★ I hated the synced fight-dancing from the rest of the cast during Ikkei’s solo song. At first they were fighting the yakuma but the second half of the song, they all just faced forward and did a fighting-dance thing and I hated it. I wanted to see them actually fight. Why not during this point do solo fighting scenes and switch in and out between them? Seriously, this stage is just LAZY.

☆ I loved when Oda demands he uses Yuzuki's blood so he can get his strength back and fight the final boss, and Toyotomi is just begging Yuzuki not to. But Toyo's also on the ground very weak so he drags himself over to her and when he tries to grab her hand, she's just far enough away that he misses and flops down onto the floor. I super loved this hand grab moment! You could see and feel the desperation in Tomorun's eye and voice. It was VERY well done. Also when he's like 'please don't make me take your blood (so I can fight too)' and you can tell he really doesn't want to and he’s on the ground yelling ‘fucks sake / kuso!!!’ because he’s too weak to help and save Yuzuki without her blood’s assistance. It was great acting on Tomorun's part.

★ There is NO henshin! They (3 of them) take her blood but none of them change their forms! I wanted to see their henshins!!

6. Ending Scenes:

☆ The ending was satisfactory because it ends with them all swearing they'll never use her blood as a weapon or for their own gain. They also swear that they won't get angry if she doesn't choose them. But it perfectly ends with her not explicitly choosing any of them, and suddenly it goes into the final song with all the boys singing as she walks off stage. It was the best choice for the ending they could've made without pissing any of the audience off.

Curtain Call Goodness

NOW FOR THE BEST PART OF THE WHOLE PLAY! THE CURTAIN CALLS!!!

☆ TUESDAY NIGHT: Curtain Call Speeches from Oda/Kobuta and Naoe/Jinnai. Kubota talked about how much he sweats in his costume and that he's managed to lose 5 kilos so far just from all the sweating and he said he hopes to lose 5 more before the end of the run. Jinnai talked about how he and MaeChan have been working together and have been debuted for 8 years now and have worked together on a lot of projects and that it was his first time with MakiChan but he was enjoying it and having so much fun. To this point MakiChan replied and continued the conversation and talking about how fun their dressing room is with the three of them. It was very clear and very obvious how much Jinnai and MakiChan get along. It was very obvious how well all three of them get along which made me very happy! And at one point MakiChan burst out ‘Why am I talking during your speech?!’ and Jinnai hit him on the shoulder xD They also talked about they love playing the game 'UesugiGokkou' in the dressing room so they did an example of it for us all: It is/was Maki and Jinnai pretending to argue with MaeChan trying to get in the middle and being the mediator but the both end up hitting him on either side of his arms. It is/was very funny!

☆ WEDNESDAY AFTERNOON: MakiChan/Kagekatsu curtain call greeting (sorry, I don't remember who else..) and when Tomorun said 'Kagekatsu!' Jinnai replied instead and everyone burst out laughing. As MakiChan spoke about his usual 'this is super fun, I love working with MaeChan again. We work together a lot actually. And it's so fun in the dressing room. I hope we can finish this run without any injuries' but then Jinnai suddenly complained 'your sword keeps hitting me every time you move!' so then MakiChan started doing it on purpose xD

☆ WEDNESDAY NIGHT: Fuuma and MaeChan's curtain call (I am so bloody lucky I got all three of theirs!). As MaeChan was talking and thanking people, MakiChan and jinnai slowly went around the back of MaeChan, and then came up in front so they were blocking his view of the audience, and then they started aruging between the two of them who Kenshin prides better/more. So then Maechan tried to break it up but of course, at the same time on either side of him, they hit him on the shoulders. MaeChan said they had been practsiing all day for this moment xD and Tomorun was like ‘we ALL do it you know! It's not just your group who does this in the dressing room!’ xD Fuuma's speech was just about how he had to do the rock higawari today and he hoped everyone could understand what he was doing and if it was fun. We all applauded so he understood we enjoyed it and understood it.

Seriously, the curtain call was the best part and so funny and it was so great being able to see just how well Mae, Maki and Jinnai get along ^_^ it made me very happy in my heart xD

And there we go! There’s a lot of negative but I think I gave enough positives so that people who aren’t as logical or critical as me will enjoy this stage. There is a lot to like about this stage.

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anythingstephenking · 3 years

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Tony! Toni! Toné! has done it again

Did you know that Tony! Toni! Toné! has over a million monthly listeners on Spotify? Not bad for a band that hasn’t put out an album since 1996. Can you name a Tony! Toni! Toné! song that isn’t “Feels Good”? I can’t. Can you think of another band with three exclamation points in their name? I can’t. Do you remember when Panic(!) at the Disco removed the exclamation point from their name? I do. Do you remember when Ke$ha removed the dollar sign from her name? I definitely do.

The tangent to end all tangents, but we’re back with Danny (or more matured “Dan”) Torrance and his pal Tony with Doctor Sleep! I was so excited when this novel was coming out I pre-ordered my copy when it was announced. Then never read it. Whoops.

Since I started my King journey, I haven’t let myself watch any new King adaptations of source material I haven’t read, so I got to watch the movie for the first time too! Someday I will finally get to watch The Outsider. I’m actually on a bit of a roll - 5 books in the last month or so.

I ONLY HAVE 12 BOOKS LEFT! PRAISE BE.

King said that a lot of folks would ask him at book signings “What happened to Danny Torrence”? If I was King I’d probably says “I dunno man, he’s not a real person” so I guess that’s why I have no imagination. Instead of sparking annoyance with the insatiable requests of his Constant Readers, it sparked creativity, and that’s why King is king.

Alright, lets actually talk about the book. We’re back with the Torrance family, and for an extremely traumatized family unit, they’re doing ok after Jack’s demise. I mean, the ghost lady from room 217 shows up in the bathtub every now and again, but that’s to be expected right?? The Torrances are living in Florida, stating that there’s no snow in Florida. But they know there’s like, a lot of resorts in Florida right? Presumably haunted by a lot of old biddies sending their food back to the kitchen and tipping their ghost waiters 2%.

There’s a little bit with Wendy, a young Danny and Dick, who’s still around and helping Danny manage his shine. Dick helps Danny lock away the lingering remnants of The Overlook by quite literally locking them in boxes in his mind. Ok sure, I guess?

But we’re not here to find out how Danny’s awkward middle school years were, and so we skip past the braces and straight into the alcoholism. Because of course. Like many flawed-but-heroic King characters, a grown up Dan Torrance has an alcohol problem. Given who his dad was, I can’t say I’m surprised. Dan says it’s a crutch to dim his shine. Genetics and quieting your clairvoyance - the top two causes of alcoholism in the United States.

Dan’s character isn’t any more interesting than the other alcoholics in King’s novels unfortunately. He’s fine; standard “I wanna get better” bullshit. To his credit, he does turn his life around, joining AA, getting a sponsor and settling down in one place for more than 10 minutes. He does shitty things but feels IMENSE guilt afterwards. I suppose remorse is a character strength.

Turns out Dan isn’t really the star of the show here, it’s Abra, a young gal with a very powerful shine who has never even had a sip of whiskey. We’re introduced to Abra as a baby in a terrifying passage about her abilities. As a baby, she starts crying and wakes both her parents from powerful nightmares that include the numbers 11 and 175. Her parents can’t soothe her and it gets so bad they take her to the hospital, where she wails until just shortly after 9:30am. It was September 11, 2001, and the numbers the family had nightmares about were the flight numbers of the terrorist planes. An infant, warning her parents through dreams. I mean, girl’s got it.

Abra grows up and does a bunch of other stuff that can mostly be considered fancy party tricks. She makes small connections with Dan’s mind here and there, but things heat up when we meet The True Knot.

So The True Knot are vampires that aren’t vampires. Because they don’t drink blood, they drink “steam” which is emitted from those that shine while they are tortured. Cool. It’s a new and refreshing take on typical vampire tropes, and they’re decent, other-worldly baddies.

Here’s where things go a little sideways for me. Abra manages to catch the interest of the True Knot’s leader Rose, and you can tell the remainder of the book will be a cat and mouse between the good guys and the bad. We learn that the True Knot has gathered much wealth and resources (as the undead tend to do with all the time in the universe) and they have footholds all throughout the US, including Jerusalem’s Lot and Sidewinder. Yes, the Sidewinder where the Overlook once stood. So how, in gods green earth, did these folks not latch onto a young Danny? His shine was powerful enough for a friggin’ building to attack him, but he somehow slipped past The True. Someone asks this question in the book and I was not satisfied with the answer.

Plot holes aside, the relationship that Dan and Abra develop is quite charming, and because Dan’s a recovering alcoholic and Abra is 13, this is a romance free story. They team up, and the cat and mouse is amped up because we’re not just chasing The True through the streets but through their minds, with Abra and Rose popping in and out of each others brains like it’s nothing. It’s accelerated even further by the True catching measles from one of their victims. Now, I am looking at you, American Horror Story Season 5, for using this exact same plotline in Hotel two years later.

In the end, Dan gets his redemption arc, a new home, a career, 15 years of sobriety, a family. Abra gets… to live a normal life as a teen? I suppose this is the most important thing when you’re 13.

While a fun, page turning story (I think it took me 3 nights to plow through) there’s really not much to chew on here outside of the fast paced plot. I’m not saying that’s a bad thing. It feels to me highly personal retelling of the recovering alcoholic, with Dan fully duking it out with his demons and coming through on the other side. I’d imagine that the parallels with King’s own demons is not all that dissimilar. At times it does feel like reading an advertisement for AA.

At the end of the day, The Shining was a story of alcohol and isolation; Doctor Sleep is a story of sobriety and companionship. One ends well; one does not.

6/10

First Line: On the second day of December in a year when a Georgia peanut farmer was doing business in the White House, one of Colorado’s great resort hotels burned to the ground.

Last Line: “Until you sleep”, he said.

Adaptations:

I feel more and more letdown with every modern King adaptation I’ve consumed recently.

The new Stand miniseries? Hated it.

1922? Hated it.

The new Pet Semetary? HATED IT.

Lisey’s Story? Currently watching and hating it.

Dark Tower? COME FREAKING ON.

I’m trying to remember the last King adaptation that didn’t make me go “meh”. I suppose IT: Chapter One? Gerald’s Game was good too I guess. I absolutely adore Castle Rock, but Hulu cancelled it because they’re stupid heads.

I actually miss the “so bad it’s good” movies of the early years - I’d rather watch Cat’s Eye 20 times than have to sit through 1922 again.

I was anxious for Doctor Sleep because I love love love Mike Flanagan movies and he did a decent job with Gerald’s Game. Oculus and Hush are two of my favorite modern horror movies, and if you ever want me to jabber on for hours on end, ask me about The Haunting Netflix series.

Unfortunately, I filed Doctor Sleep into the “meh” column. It’s a hard adaptation; remember that the Overlook exploded in the book, but was still standing at the end of the movie. Dick dies in the movie, but he’s still kicking it in the book. The list of inconsistencies go on and on.

It’s like how David Yates had to clean up the whole patronuses-are-actually-animals thing after Alfonso Cuaron’s creative decisions in Prisoner of Azkaban. If you get that reference, you win today’s nerd award (TM).

So Flanagan had his work cut out for him and he does well at marrying the two parallel universe storylines. The most infuriating plot-hole in the movie was the fact that they let The Overlook rot after the Torrance family left? I mean, Grady killed his wife, two girls and himself, and the owners decided to keep on keepin’ on, but sure, they decided to pack their money-filled suitcases and close up shop when Jack Torrance bites it by freezing to death in the hedge maze? Sure thing.

But it wasn’t bad. It was just fine. It’s ok.

Would I recommend this movie to someone? Sure?

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artlessictoan · 7 years

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How I’d do Naruto Next Gen

okok I’ve been wanting to do something more in depth and organised than my usual ranting about how everything is terrible now, so here we go! (though lbr this is just my usual ranting but 10x longer)

for the sake of brevity ha and my own piece of mind I’m not gonna go into how unnecessarily hetro the ending was and how everyone should’ve been gay and hey not every couple absolutely had to get married and/or have kids and also nart should’ve gotten the opportunity to realise that becoming hokage wasn’t necessary to achieve his real goal of becoming someone loved and accepted by others and he deserved so much better tbh and why isn’t sak just running the whole show and why isn’t there more sand sibs, bc let’s face it none of that was ever gonna happen, so these ideas are mostly built with the premise that all the canon couples stay canon and all the kids are still around and the product of those ships and the big plot things that happened (like nart becoming hokage and the like) stay roughly the same

forewarning bc else someone’s bound to say something; if you enjoy the next gen stuff? not a problem! that’s great, people enjoying stuff is a good thing! I wish I could enjoy more stuff, bc enjoying things is far more fun than not enjoying things! everyone has a different taste though and for me – and a lot of other people – the way that the next gen has turned out has been a disappointment, this post is for those people, so we can talk about why we think it’s failed and what we would’ve like to see instead, if you don’t feel that way about it.. well just scroll on past this post and keep enjoying the things you enjoy! have an absolute blast, you’ve earned it!

under the cut bc I am apparently incapable of keeping my rambling concise, there’s 2000 words of only vaguely coherent thoughts and tangents, so maybe get yourself a cuppa and a snack before trudging through it (some of this I’ve said in other posts before but w/e)

---

first off lets change some of the kids’ personalities, there’s nothing intrinsically wrong with any of them, but like….. 90% are carbon copies of one of their parents (and mostly their dads but I won’t get into that issue rn) which is ridiculous, bc personality traits aren’t genetic?? like my mum is super chill and sensible and my dad is short-tempered, but I’m an anxious mess and my bro is an anti-social control freak.. we didn’t get any of that from either of our parents

while it’s certainly true that you might be influenced by them (me and mum share a lot of interests and tastes), it’s not a hard and fast rule and I don’t find it realistic that EVERY kid takes after their parents, though I probably wouldn’t have such a problem with it if they were more a mix of both parents than just their dads, so here’s some potential alterations:

Boruto. good fucking lord, no, we did not need a clone of Naruto heading another series, if we wanted to see a rambunctious scamp who gets into trouble but loves his friends a whole lot and has a knack for giving inspirational speeches, then there’s already a whole 700 chap manga for that! one with a far more likable and interesting rambunctious scamp tbqh. so how about we make a few alterations, maybe instead of taking after Nart, Bolt takes a bit more after Hinata? a little quiet and a bit of a pushover, but someone who’ll quickly stick up for a friend and has an ease of communication that’s a bit more Nart? not shy so much as laidback and composed, maybe he isn’t all that interested in being a ninja too, like he’s quite skilled but is a pacifist and would much rather get a civilian job as idk a baker or gardener or something

Shikadai. only a few minor changes here bc I really do like the kid as he is, I’d just like to see him using Tema’s abilities too (and maybe also being just a bit more snarky and unyielding like his mum)

Inojin. I’m kinda torn on this one, bc I do like that he’s a lot like Sai (at least in the anime, he seems to have a pretty different personality from what little we’ve seen of him in the manga???), but I think it’d be pretty interesting if he was just not like either of his parents, maybe if he was very quiet and subdued, but also the mastermind behind all the kid’s pranks, has a mischievous streak that often shocks people, but his friends always love hanging out with him bc of it. also why doesn’t he have Ino’s powers? let’s give him Ino’s powers too

Sand Kids 2.0. ok so at this point we haven’t seen nearly enough of them to say much either way but I have negative faith in kishi and ike so I’ll just say that I want them all to be Gaara’s adopted kids (since it’s still unclear if it’s just Shinki or all of ‘em atm) and I want them to be exactly like this shameless plug for me and @spellfire01‘s versions of them which are the best fucking versions and I will protect my children with my life

now some changes to the original cast (this is where I’m gonna get proper bitter, prepare yourselves):

OH NARUTO MY POOR CHILD WHAT HAVE THEY DONE TO YOU I’ve already talked about this but let me just reiterate in as eloquent a way as I can; Naruto would never become a neglectful father. N e v e r. not after the childhood he went through, no matter how much work he had to do as kage, don’t dare fucking try and tell me that Naruto – "It's almost unbearable, isn't it… the pain of being all alone. I know that feeling; I've been there, in that dark and lonely place, but now there are others, other people who mean a lot to me. I care more about them than I do myself, and I won't let anyone hurt them… They rescued me from my loneliness" – Uzumaki would EVER neglect his kids. just fucking don’t. in this version Nart is a doting and involved dad (perhaps a little too much, to the point that his kids find him kinda exhausting and have to ask him to leave them alone sometimes) who sends his clones to work at the office while he hangs out with his family.. I honestly don’t know why he doesn’t already do that

let all the girls out of their houses to do some ninja work for the love of god

poor put-upon Shino-sensei is alright.. but we’ve already had that with Iruka, I’d honestly much rather see the Cool Sensei who keeps all the kids in line without even doing much of anything and has a knack for inspiring them and always has a line of students trailing after him asking to hear more of his awesome ninja stories and everyone always trying to show off when he’s around, bc Shino is literally The Best

have Sauce and Saku be divorcees. seriously, are even the people who ship them happy with how their relationship has turned out? they barely see each other and apparently it’s been that way since chap 699, so why not just have them split up? it really wouldn’t change much, just say that, at some point after Sarada was born, they realised that they were both gay incompatible personality-wise and they were both so busy with their individual work that there wasn’t much of a relationship to lose. not only would this be good for both their characters (there’s no reason they couldn’t still be good friends) and just more sensible all-round, but it would also be a nice way to show that not every childhood romance/first love works out and that’s perfectly fine and normal and they can still live happy, full lives afterwards!

speaking of Sauce, let him spend at least a little bit of time interacting with his friends and family in Konoha, even if he’s still mostly travelling around on important missions he should at least be taking every opportunity to visit his daughter when he’s in the area, seriously, c’mon

Temari got done so dirty in that one episode.. here’re some much better words than I could ever muster but generally I’d want her to be less the ‘scary, overbearing, harsh’ mother and more the ‘strict but cool and sneaky’ mother, like she’d honestly be the type to use reverse psychology and gentle manipulation, she’d make her boy do some seemingly meaningless task that somehow makes him have an epiphany and come back to her when he’s done like “I know what I did wrong now and I’m sorry” than just shout at him and refuse to make dinner (also I just really like to hc that she’s a terrible cook so it’s Shikamaru who does all the cooking anyway)

it’d be really great to see Hina either being the new clan head or at least otherwise involved in Hyuuga clan politics, so we could actually see how she’s working to destroy that whole slavery thing they’ve got going, rather than that plotline just being dropped somewhere around the end of the chunin exam arc and never picked up again (I mean I assume that it’s all supposed to be fixed by now, but that’s not the kinda thing that should happen entirely off-screen) and so we can see her life revolving around something other than Nart and her kids, she’s remarkably capable and had so much potential but she’s been denied every opportunity to really exist as her own character by the writers

Kiba…… what the hell is going on with Kiba? where is he? what is he doing? how’s he feeling these days? is he supposed to be married to that nameless cat lady we saw for a single panel? these are things we shall never know I guess. tbh what I’d really LOVE to see would be Kiba-sensei, just imagine him and Shino both being teachers who work in completely opposite ways, Shino is the quiet, inspiring, lowkey scary one and Kiba is the gigantic fucking dork one who cheers his students on way too loud and makes the classes super fun and joins in the kids games, him and Shino have a class rivalry and Kiba is constantly roping students into joining his attempts to prank Shino (they’ve never once succeeded but oNE DAY)

Ino should be the next head of Konoha’s intelligence division, I will fight kishi on this one

why the actual fuck is oroch still happily living it up in his penthouse lab?? kill the fucker. or at the very least imprison the fucker. just say that Mitsuki was an old project of his that somehow kept developing in his absence, or was a product of research carried out by some lackeys’ years after he’s gone, anything that means I don’t have to accept that everyone has apparently forgiven him for everything and knows that he’s still experimenting on kids but just don’t care

and on that last note: Justice for Yamato 2k17

right now let’s get onto the actual plot/story for this very self-pandering au

make Sarada the main char. while I can see why they would choose to go with Boruto, honestly Salad’s more interesting a character and! A Girl!! Main Character!!!! I NEED IT!!!!!! focus on her goal to be hokage and her struggles with her parents and follow up on that ‘restoring the Uchiha’ plot thread that just.. dropped right off the map somewhere between 699 and 700, her reconciling what her clan was with what she wants to make it

get rid of that weird demon-sensing eye thing that’s going on. and the demon thing in general. and also that jarring post-apocalypse future thing they’re building up. I didn’t slog through over a decade of kishi’s bullshit just so my kids didn’t get to live long, happy lives. make the plot just slice-of-life fluff, nothing more dangerous than a bully, just some kids trying to be awesome ninja in a world that doesn’t really need ninja anymore bc peace and all that

waaay more of Chocho, Himawari and Inojin (at least enough so they all get equal billing)

show how the ninja world has grown and developed since the end of the original series (not just technologically), what do ninja do now that there aren’t any wars and international relationships are at an all-time high? have missions completely gone from being combat and intel based to more about construction and assistance? are ninja numbers actually dropping, favouring civilian jobs in these more peaceful times? how well are people – ninja or not – adjusting to these changes? is learning ninja techniques still encouraged but in a way that’s more about culture and traditions than actual use in combat (in the same way that swordplay today is mostly practiced for performance, fun and sport, rather than out of any real-life practicality)? there are so many interesting things to explore that you don’t even need to be adding in new threats to keep the series entertaining

I’ve said this before, but I think it’d be really cool and cute if after the end of the war and with some drastic changes to the ninja world’s politics, this next gen is less about becoming ninja, than realising that they’ll never be ninja (at least not in the way that their parents were) and how they react to that. maybe they’re frustrated because they hear so many cool stories about the grand battles of the previous generation and they want to be able to do those things too damnit! so the kids are just going around trying to be super-awesome ninja in a world that doesn’t really need ninja anymore, picking fights and trying to make their boring d-rank missions seem more important and dangerous than they really are, maybe at some point they learn a bit more about how hard and traumatising that life was for their parents and why the world had to change, until they eventually decide that if the role of a ninja has to change, then together they’re gonna discover what that new role will be, what will being a ninja really mean in this new, peaceful world?

and, a final ending note: fuck ike’s sickening treatment of Sarada with regards to her sexualised presentation and the disgusting reveal that someone taught Boruto (a young child!) the sexy jutsu. Let The Kids Be Kids 2k17

#ictoan whines about boruto #boruto #anti-boruto #i spent way too long on this #apparently the way to start doing more meta is to just spew all your bile onto the keyboard and hope for the best #i'm super open to hearing people's thoughts on what they'd like to see in their ideal versions of the next gen!!#i just want someone to wail about missed opportunities with tbh #and it might give me more #writing ideas #ugh why do i always wait til i'm about to go to bed to post this shit #i'm bad at this i apologise

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