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tomtenadia · 3 years ago

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My knight in shining armour

Rowaelin month Day 2 - University AU

I literally just finished this. I wasn’t going to write for this prompt but then an idea finally hit me.

The title as usual is bad... sorry

2k words

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Aelin had days in which she hated men. That was one of those days.

After finishing high school she decided to took a challenging course at the University of Terrasen. Her dad, before he retired, had been an airforce pilot. She had grown up going around his base, visiting him when he was back. In doing so, she had become obsessed with planes. As she grew up, her dad had let her get friendly with his engineer and the man had started teaching her all she needed to know about aircrafts. From the basic physics to the more obscure detail of how the jet worked. Aelin had been fascinated. She had started reading all the possible books, and as she got older, her dad’s engineer had also started having her to actually help her in the hangar. In the summer when school was out, she would actually get a part-time job as an apprentice at the base and she had loved every moment of it. She had also become very close with the two female pilots and together they had spent time talking about the life of a woman in a boys club. The two women had become her role models very quickly.

Terrasen was quite and open minded country but some ideas were still quite obsolete.

In high school at the question “what you want to be when you grow up?” She always answered an aircraft engineer for the airforce. She never faltered or never doubted. That’s what she wanted to, that was her path.

But when time for uni arrived and she applied for a degree in aeronautical engineering, that’s when she realised that the boys club extended far more than she expected.

She was basically the only woman in the class. None of the guys had approached her and on the first day she had walked in the classroom, one of them had the guts to tell her that the humanities department was in the annex c. She ignored the bastard and sat down at the front. She belonged in that room and she would prove it to every single one of them.

Day after day she had shown her knowledge and surprised her professor who was amazed at the fact that she could answer such in depth questions. Last time it happened, she had turned to Chaol - the asshole who had told her about the annex c, and gave him a smirk. That had removed his stupid grin from his face. It felt amazing.

During a private one-to-one with her professor she had confessed to him she had been working at the airbase as an apprentice during the past three summers. Her teacher had luckily been very supportive and encouraged her to keep up the good work.

Now, six months in, she still hated with a vengeance the arseholes she had to study with. Some of them even had the guts to ask her for some help after they realised she was actually good. She had answered that surely they didn’t want the help of a woman, and walked away.

After another class it was finally lunch time and she was meeting Rowan down at their spot on the grass. They were a couple. He had asked her out in the summer after high school was over and they had been together ever since. He was a med student and he knew her pain about choosing a challenging degree. Both their degrees were very intense and required a lot of time so they would just try and spend as much time together as they could. They had a flat together but the public library was were they spent most of their time.

And when their schedules allowed it, they would enjoy lunch together, venting about their academical choices.

“I fucking hate that bastard.” She raged, dropping her bag on the grass and sitting at his side, depositing a kiss on his lips. She felt better almost immediately, being in his arms was all she needed to feel okay again.

“What did he do now?” Asked Rowan knowing of her struggles in her classes.

Aelin grabbed her bag and pulled out her food, the dinner that Rowan had prepared the previous night and then packed away for both of them.

“The teacher gave us an exercise where we had to design an aircraft with what we had learned so far.” She told him, while munching away her food “He was up first and his project was a effing disaster. Seriously, I’d wouldn’t want to fly on a plane designed by him.” She took a sip of her water “the teacher asked us to say what was wrong and it took me ten minutes to stop. I mean, a two year old would have done a better job with lego bricks.”

Rowan giggled at her side “then my turn came and the bastard had the guts to tell me that the aerodynamics of my plane were off and that my ailerons where wrong as well and would not allow the plane to function properly. I took my laptop and shoved it in his face and told him to find the error in my math. He had no clue.” Her face turned smug “then the teacher took over and said that actually my project was, among all, the only one that could actually fly. I felt smug as fuck.”

Rowan pulled an arm around Aelin’s shoulder and pulled her to him. He was proud of her. Every damn day.

“Then after class, he threw me a paper plane and inside it had a message saying this is the only plane you will ever build or work on. I swear, the guy is still alive only because I am not looking forward to finishing my degree via distance learning from a prison.”

She calmed down “how was your day?”

Rowan leaned back against the tree “I had anatomy and physiology. Today we covered the endocrine system and it must be one most boring of them all.”

“Well,” she added with a big smile “when you cover the reproductive system you are welcome to practice with me…”

He laughed and squished her to her chest “I am a very big fan of your… bits.” She kissed him deeply not caring that they were in public, she wanted him and hated that they had more classes before being able to go home and then alas, study more. Maybe for one evening they could study something different.

“Aelin?”

“Yes, buzzard?”

His tongue gently teased her and she opened for him while his hand brushed off a rebel strand of hair.

He pulled back “Nothing, you had tomato sauce on you lips. I was just wiping it off. Did you think I wanted to kiss you?”

Aelin gently punched him on the shoulder, in return he gave her a massive grin. Rowan was a very reserved man who struggled with stranger, but she had her own version, the goofy one, the one who made jokes and loved to cuddle with her. She would treasure that version forever. That was just for her.

They were busy chatting away and she was showing him on her laptop the exercise she had been working on and her plane prototype and although what she was saying was greek to him, he still listened to her in fascination.

She was telling him how a plane flew and the four forces when a figure stopped in front of them.

“It must be exciting to brag with your boyfriend about your hopeless projects.” Said the man.

Rowan raised his eyes and finally saw the face of the man that had been making Aelin’s life miserable.

“What did you just say?” Rowan stood and towered on the brown-haired man by twenty centimetres. Chaol also looked frail compared to Rowan’s muscular frame.

“Chaol, you’d better go.” Not that she cared about the man, she just didn’t want Rowan to get into trouble for a petty man.

“You’d better give up while you still can, Galathynius. Aeronautical engineering is not a field for a woman.” He crossed his arms at his chest trying to look intimidating but the look in Rowan’s eyes told her it was a useless attempt. Her boyfriend was ready to attack. She knew he had never hit anyone, but had a feeling that if Chaol didn’t stop it could be a first for Rowan.

“Chaol,” she stood as well and growled his name in warning.

“Oh, so you are one of those arseholes who believes that certain jobs can be done only by those who were born with a penis. It’s the fucking 21st century. Grow up, idiot.”

Rowan swore, alarm bells rang in Aelin’s head. He only swore when he was extremely mad, something that her unflappable boyfriend rarely was.

“Oh look, Galathynius, you have a knight in shining armour.”

Aelin moved between Rowan and Chaol, trying to separate them when her boyfriend moved a step closer to the other guy.

Chaol chuckled “Did you sleep with every professor—” but Chaol never finished his sentence. She saw the scene develop in slow motion in front of her. At those words Rowan’s face had turned feral and as on instinct his arm moved and a second later his fist found its target in Chaol’s face.

Rowan then grabbed Chaol by the collar and lifted him up slightly “You take it back, immediately or I’ll smash all the twenty two bones in your skull.”

“Go on,” said Chaol, nursing a broken lips.

Aelin stopped in between and grasped Rowan’s hand gently “Put him down, Ro, he is not worth it.”

Her gaze then turned to Chaol “now you go back to whatever shithole you came from and perhaps go back working on your project and design a real aircraft.” She moved closer to him “I know what the fuck I am doing. And I know I will have a job in the airforce after this. You will just go back being daddy’s little spoiled boy.”

Chaol glared at her and Rowan finally let go of him, bur before he fully released him he pulled the man close enough that his mouth was near his ear “you disrespect her like that one more time and you’ll finish your degree from a hospital bed while sipping your food from a straw.” Rowan flashed his teeth in a threatening gesture “you leave her alone, because if I hear you have been a bastard to her one more time, I will make your life a living hell.” And eventually released him. Chaol shrugged his t-shirt back into place and walked away without adding another word.

Rowan sighed and then turned to her, his expression back being soft as soon as she looked back at him.

“You didn’t have to punch him,” she said while snuggling against his chest. His arms quickly around her.

“Yes I had to. What he said….” She felt him tense up again “he made me so mad, fireheart.”

“Seeing you thump him was very sexy,” she kissed him gently on the lips “my knight in shining armour.”

Rowan chuckled and looked into he blue eyes “you don’t need a knight. You are fierce, brave and strong and do not need any protection,” he added, his lips on her head. Nesting under his chin was her favourite position. They fit perfectly “I, on the other hand, as a male who is hopelessly in love with you, felt the desperate need to avenge the sullied honour of my amazing other half.”

Aelin giggled hard “you really sound like a knight.”

“Come on, Sir Rowan Whitethorn of Wendlyn, let’s finish our lunch, I have an hour of mechanics of flight coming up and I need sustenance.”

“Yes, my queen,” he said kneeling in front of her.

Aelin laughed and kissed him deeply “maybe I can be your queen tonight in bed as well.”

His smirk grew wider and Aelin felt heat pool at her core at his expression.

“Whatever m’lady commands.”

They finished their lunch in peace without any more interruptions and eventually they parted ways, going to their respective classes.

Chaol did not bothered her anymore. He didn’t even met her gaze and him ignoring her was all she asked. She was there to learn, he could just go and sulk in the afterburner of a jet, perhaps while on, for all she cared.

Aelin texted Rowan a thank you and his reply was a simple To whatever end.

#rowaelin #rowaelinmonth #rowaelin fanfic #rowaelin fanfiction #rowan whitethorn #aelin galathynius #chaol westfall #university au #Throne of Glass series

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smoothoperador · 3 years ago

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interests tag!

I was tagged by @lxncelot, thank you so much for the tag! this sounds like a lot of fun and I loved reading your answers.

𝐌𝐔𝐒𝐈𝐂

fave genre? rock in its broadest definition (so like, anything ranging from hard rock to pop rock to alternative ballads). I also listen to a lot of pop!

fave artist? all time low! but ~historically~ I’ve always been very into 5 seconds of summer (less so now, though I still listen to their older stuff) and twenty one pilots. as for solo artists, my favorite is probably rosalía though I also enjoy halsey. i was your, how do you call it? local 2015 emo kid. just look at my top albums of 2017 - outrageous.

fave song? my go-to answer for this is she will be loved by maroon 5 because I am 💫a softie💫. I think nowadays it’s my favorite song more so out of habit and nostalgia than for the actual song, but it still means the world to me.

most listened song recently? according to spotify, dinero by trinidad cardona. tiktok has won this one, folks 😞 according to last.fm, el tango de roxanne from moulin rouge (broadway version). which I find much more likely, but you never know.

song currently stuck in your head? none! though I’m listening to the piano version of once upon a december that’s on my desktop music player on here, so I’ll inevitably get it stuck in my head later.

5 fave lyrics? I have a note on my phone for that lol

“You’re dripping like a saturated sunrise / You’re spilling like an overflowing sink / You’re ripped at every edge but you’re a masterpiece / and now you’re tearing through the pages and the ink.” Halsey, Colors

“Begin with bullet, now add fire to the proof / But I’m still not sure if fear’s a rival or close relative to truth.” twenty one pilots, Bandito

“Fools said I, you do not know silence like a cancer grows / heed my words that I might teach you, take my arms that I might reach you / but my words like silent raindrops fell / and echoed in the wells of silence.” Simon & Garfunkel, The Sound of Silence and generally the entirety of that song because how beautifully is it, seriously?

“How can I sleep at night, there’s a war inside my head / I found a lion hidden right beneath my bed / I will not hide myself from the tears that you have shed / ‘Cause I am a lion and you are dead.” Hollywood Undead, Lion and, once again, the entirety of that song

“I am not afraid to keep on living / I am not afraid to walk this world alone.” My Chemical Romance, Famous Last Words because I think that is the simplest yet hardest and most powerful thing you could ever say

𝐁𝐎𝐎𝐊𝐒

fave genre? historical fiction, with fantasy as a close second (historical fantasy? you ask, to which I answer YES A HUNDRED TIMES YES.)

fave writer? if we’re counting classics and deceased authors, Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, without a doubt. if we only mean contemporary writers, then Leigh Bardugo.

fave book? Wind, Sand and Stars by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry (Terre des Hommes being its original title). a lot of books have marked my soul, but this once was more than that - it bathed my every bone in the dawn’s first light and sent singing magic spiraling down beneath my flesh. it’s entirely subjective, because it’s not a literal gift from God of a book, but... it meant a lot to me.

fave book series? the Six of Crows duology by Leigh Bardugo, and The Illuminae Files by Jay Kristoff and Amie Kaufman

comfort book? harry potter and the prisoner of azkaban... yes I AM nine years old

perfect book to read on a rainy day? something atmospheric, preferably spooky with some gothic elements! I’ve been wanting to read Mexican Gothic by Silvia Moreno-Garcia forever and I feel like it would work well with that ambience. also, Ninth House by Leigh Bardugo, which I have on my shelves but haven’t read yet! saving all of these for october so I can really get in the mood.

fave characters? disgusting of you to ask, but Nina Zenik & Matthias Helvar from SoC, Remus Lupin & Sirius Black from HP, Leo Valdez & Hazel Levesque from PJO.

5 quotes from your fave book that you know by heart?

suddenly I can only remember bits from assigned readings for school and I hate myself

“I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.” Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

“To the glistening eastern sea, I give you Queen Lucy the Valiant. To the great western woods, King Edmund the Just. To the radiant southern sun, Queen Susan the Gentle. And to the clear northern skies, I give you King Peter the Magnificent. Once a king or queen of Narnia, always a king or queen of Narnia.” The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe

“You aren’t a flower, you’re every blossom in the world blooming at once. You’re a tidal wave. You’re a stampede. You’re overwhelming.” && “Curse you and all your Saints,” he said to no one at all, then realized he was smiling. Crooked Kingdom

“Many years later, as he faced the firing squad, Colonel Aureliano Buendía was to remember that distant afternoon when his father took him to discover ice.” One Hundred Years of Solitude

and the entire two-page death scene of this one character in Joseph Kessel’s The Crew that I had to read in 9th and 11th grade for lit class and I had to write a commentary on that death scene, an assignment I keep on me at all times in a folder and it’s genuinely the death scene that made me the most upset in my entire life but it’s written so magnificently it’s a literal apotheosis and I won’t give you all of it but it ends with “And into tender death the captain entered living still” and I haven’t been the same since the day I read that

𝐌𝐎𝐕𝐈𝐄𝐒 & 𝐓𝐕 𝐒𝐇𝐎𝐖𝐒

fave tv/movie genre? honestly I dabble with pretty much anything? I’d say my favorites are period dramas and thrillers, but I can pretty much watch anything. i used to love dystopias and science-fiction so much, but that was a... dark age of my life.

fave movie? I cannot choose to save my life, and I’ve seen very few movies, but I typically say Coco, Dunkirk, or Prisoner of Azkaban. Also really love Jurassic Park <3

comfort movie? every single Disney classic ever but particularly Peter Pan, Sleeping Beauty, and Tangled; PoA, obviously; Jurassic Park and Raiders of the Lost Ark; The Princess Bride (which btw I might have gasped out loud reading your tags, Olive, lol).

most rewatched tv show? I don’t even watch tv shows all the way through in the first place, so rewatching them,,,,, probably Los Misterios de Laura tbfh it was this Spanish murder mystery show that I used to watch religiously when I was a kid, and then they sold the TV rights to some American channel and that was my first heartbreak. that one episode where they investigated this murder in this supposedly haunted boarding school? could not sleep for days after watching it lol

5 fave characters? it’s difficult not to repeat characters I’ve already mentioned in the books category because many shows I know are adaptations, but... alina starkov from shadow and bone, eleanor crain from the haunting of hill house, sansa stark & jaime lannister from game of thrones, and christian from moulin rouge.

thank you so much for the tag, I loved this! no pressure tags: @maybanksslut, @vostokovasmelina, @noesapphic, @murswrites, @eveenstar @softeninglooks + anyone who wants to do it!

#tag game #long post #abt c

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cassyapper · 4 years ago

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loving you may mean losing you but i dont mind (jotakak playlist)

dont talk to me about the title of this thing im embarrassed enough

anyway but okay so!!!! very excited to share this!!!! this has been in the works since september but my picky ass finally found an adequate amount of songs so here it is!!!!!! my jotakak playlist (:

special thanks to my lovely and wonderful friend jade for helping me finish this this thing <3

track list nd why i picked the songs that i did under the break!

1. the predatory wasp of the palisades is out to get us! by sufjan stevens i chose this song because it’s all about internalized homophobia and being in love with your best friend as a kid which RLLY resonates w jotakak imo. esp cause in the song, stevens’ friend ends up leaving abruptly, leaving stevens to wonder about what couldve blossomed if they had stuck together and worked through the difficulties together, which JOTARO....THAT IS JOTARO-CORE esp cause kak also “leaves” (dies). so this song was a v obvious choice for me and in fact this song is what inspired me to create this playlist in the first place

2. we are beautiful, we are doomed by los campesinos! this song is abt being in love with someone but you both have ur issues so it’s kind of a mess. considering jotaro and kakyoin’s (to point it quite frankly) trauma and the fact that both of them do jack shit to try and cope with it healthily, this song DEFINITELY fits them. esp cause this song mentions physical fighting and the imagery that goes with it (”he got his teeth fixed/im gonna break them”, “i’ve got a fist on fire”, etc) and the entirety of the bridge/last verse rlly gives me these two’s vibes so! ya (:

3. love love love by of monsters and men this song is the singer feeling like shes completely unworthy of being loved by this important person in her life, particularly because she has NO idea how to show affection and love the (for lack of better word) “acceptable” way, or any way at all really. this REALLY has jotaro vibes cause he is one repressed motherfucker and as we see the entirety of his story, jotaro is full of love he loves so much it’s just he has no idea how to properly express it cause he’s scared essentially. but that didn’t stop people from loving him, in this case, that being kakyoin. hhhhHHh

4. ribs by lorde this song is about being scared of growing up but due to the lyrics being written the way they are, i kinda spin the interpretation of it to be the fear jotaro and kakyoin had on the crusade to egypt, as they were the youngest and didnt know if they’d make it back and everything is just incredibly overwhelming there is so much going on all the time those 50 days. i can do a full analysis on why but that would be kinda long LMAO. for now let’s leave it at they have a very Unique fear of growing up but it still fits with the lyrics. particularly the last bit of the song with the “youre the only friend i need” verses,,,makes me think of these two...

5. can i call you tonight? by dayglow i interpret this song to be about trying to figure out what, exactly, your feelings are for this very specific and important person in your life. since jotaro and kakyoin r both repressed and also suckers of internalized homophobia, i think they fit that theme very well. particularly with the whole “i feel like we’re close, but maybe we’re not actually? what are we?” theme going on in the lyrics, this whole song makes me think of jotaro and kakyoin figuring out their intense and sudden (cause again only 50 days but also, those 50 days had So Much going on) feelings for each other. also the “now i’m no longer alone” line in the chorus HHHHHHH that’s them

6. la la la love song by toshinobu kubota ft naomi campbell SO I KNOW THIS SONG IS KINDA JUST FLUFF but we need some light-hearted moments in this thing hjgg;. ALSO toshinobu kubota is canonically jotaro’s favorite musician so i wanted to reference that and this was my fav love song of his that i’ve found so far so (: also the “you are my shining star” line,,,heh

7. truce by twenty one pilots so this song is very soft. it’s about tending to wounds and taking a moment before continuing to push on. it makes me think abt jotaro and kakyoin taking care of each other on the journey (for example the lovers arc/n’doul fight). also the whole “stay alive, stay alive for me/you will die, but now your life is free/take pride in what is sure to die” makes me go fucking nuts that is. that fits these two to a T fuck

8. this side of paradise by coyote theory this song has big “two lonely people are in love with each other for the first time” vibes and OHHHHHHHHHH THAT’S JOTAKAK.... there are a lot of little lines that make me specifically think abt these two, such as “love so strong it makes me feel weak” (jotaro-core...), “if you’re lonely come be lonely with me”, “i’ll be yours if you’ll be mine” (wanting some security while ur in love for the first time is common but especially for these two i think it works spectacularly) but yea this song as a whole is just...ohhh them. theyre in lvoe HK;FNJFL

9. i saw you in a dream by the japanese house EVERY. SINGLE. LINE. OF THIS SONG IS POST-EGYPT JOTARO. EVERY SINGLE LINE. and the ghost the singer talks about seeing? they hadnt changed at all? they were such a pretty vision, a perfect hallucination? BRUH... just listen i could do a whole analysis on this song it all just fits jotaro mourning kakyoin throughout the years so so so so well it makes me feel nuts holy shit i just. literally every line. every line fits i am not joking. i cried when i first heard this song LMAO

10. video games by the young professionals SO LMAO obviously kakyoin’s epic gamer moves are being referenced but beyond that i interpret this song to just be the fun parts of being in love esp when ur young (backed up with the “kissing in the blue dark” and the “watching all our friends fall” lines). also the chorus just makes me want to cry cause just, happy jotakak moments PLEASE. “the world was built for two only worth living if somebody is loving you, and baby now you do” THEYRE NOT ALONE ANYMORE THEY FOUDN EACH OTHER IM GONAN WAILLLLLLL oh my god. im nuts theynkjNJKNJF also “i heard that you like the bad girls” please. these two shitty teenagers

11. ikanaide by sohta ft. yuki kaai this song is abt not wanting someone u love to leave u cause youll miss them obviously but also ur scared of how the time will change you and if it’ll make you unrecognizable eventually. big post-egypt jotaro vibes 😔 especially cause one part of the chorus translates to “i shouldnt cry, i shouldnt cry, but the truth is i want to say dont go” and im jus like OHHHHH NO IT’S JOTARO FINDING OUT KAKYOIN DIED jkfnNKJFNJDhkld

12. therefore you and me by eve ALRIGHT. god this song is one hell of a doozy. i interpret this song to mean being sincerely in love but youre in the wrong place/wrong time. considering the uh Whole Situation in part 3 there were definitely better times to fall in love for these two. jotaro and kakyoin try to be happy w the moments they do have (i think the second verse in particular adds to this sentiment what with the selfish ghosts part) but they want a better environment understandably so theyre also just kinda ignoring things until they can properly care for a relationship. but well...who knows if theyll live to make it to that better environment ):

13. mayonaka no door/stay with me by miki matsubara this song is a v sweet sentiment abt like “it’s not just heat of the moment!! i do care about u a lot!!” and asking the person u have feelings for to stick around. big kakyoin and jotaro vibes as it would be easy to call what they have a fling considering how relatively short of a timeframe they had but i genuinely think their relationship was deeper than just that and this song nicely reflects such. “jotaro and i will share a room cause we’re both students” fuckin head ass

14. a thousand years by sting oh sting.... so since sting is kakyoin’s favorite musician canonically i had to add one of his songs here as well but beyond just that i do think this song fits them!! it kinda gives me big “if not in this life, then the next” vibes which is a big uhhh thing for jotakak. they may be doomed to tragedy but the moments they have together make the tragedy worth enduring ironically i feel like this song is mostly from jotaro’s pov considering i dont think he ever completely got over kakyoin and this song def has that kinda sentiment but hey it fits them...

15. mr loverman by ricky montgomery SO FUNNY STORY i actually REALLY. REALLY didnt wanna add this song at first cause i felt it wouldve been...idk too cliche? i guess? and i was ALL kinds of picky when choosing songs for this playlist HOWEVER. eventually i relistened to it and read the lyrics while thinking specifically abt jotakak and it actually rlly does fit quite well KJDFN; another jotaro mourning song ): it’s not just the chorus tho the whole song fits jotaro immediately post-egypt but also i feel like some time around part 4 this sentiment would come back to him cause Yknow. Gays In Morioh and the mess of his family life back in america. it just aches for him cause while he’s happy josuke is happy he wishes he couldve had that for him and kakyoin too but yea jus ... them

16. you by petit biscuit an instrumental?? in a ship playlist?? yes that’s right much like mr loverman i was hesitant to put this song in cause it’s harder to justify since i dont rlly know much abt music (and not to b controversial but interpreting lyrics and interpreting music r two different things) however i really think the vibes of this song fit jotakak. it’s got a somber melody but the keys of the piano are high which im taking to mean “light in the dark” which. jotaro and kakyoin (along w the rest of the crusaders) were each other’s lights in the dark. also the ending samples a conference/lecture talking about space flight and like. star platinum. space symbolism. jotaro. yeah

17. saturn by sleeping at last MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM. this song is all about losing someone very close and important to you, but reflecting on the good they brought into your life rather than the pain of losing them. this song also has HEAVY space imagery which stardust crusaders is absolutely chalk fucking full of so also it’s a very philosophical song and considering that jotaro and kakyoin are both Nerds and both got a nice view of the stars/space in the desert with each other, im sure they had conversations similar to the one highlighted in the song. i think it’s a good note to end the playlist on cause kakyoin is dead and jotaro is the survivor but it’s not a mourning song so much as jotaro taking the love he had for kakyoin and pushing forward with it allll th way into part 6

but yeah that’s the tracklist! i might add or take away a song or two but this is mostly it (: hope yall enjoy!

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sortavibing · 4 years ago

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what the haikyuu!! boys/girls favorite songs/bands are📼

hello! this is my first post so i hope im doing it right :P anyways enjoy!

karasuno💾

daichi: Don’t Stop Believin’ by Journey. he’s such a typical dad holy shit so yeah he 100% listens to this i don’t know what else to say like- 🤠 yeah he probably sings it in his minivan (you cannot convince me that he doesn’t drive a minivan)

sugawara: WAP by Cardi B. yes we stan this bad bitch. he LOVES this song like he can do the dance and everything and he pulls it off like the baddie he is please someone animate this i NEED it anyways yeah he doesn’t really sing it but he 100% has done the dance in front of daichi.

asahi: Lullaby by Johannes Brahms. this baby hes such a slut for classical music and he always listens to it before a big game to calm his nerves. he pretends that he’s listening to something “tough” but everyone knows that he listens to classcial, they just pretend to not know.

nishinoya: Old Town Road by Lil Nas X. yeah, he hasn’t gotten out of the old town road phase and he unironically sings it and does a yeehaw dance. no one can stop him because everyone (except tanaka) is too embarrassed to be around him when he sings and dances, so he thinks it’s ok (honey, no), also, tanaka sometimes joins in and it’s painful to hear and see.

tanaka: GOOBA by 6xi9ine. he thinks it’s “badass” and tries to rap it whenever it comes on, and he fails horribly, but nishinoya always hypes him up saying that he did a good job, causing him to start singing again please save karasuno from hinata, nishinoya, and tanaka’s singing

ennoshita: Cough Syrup by Young The Giant. though it may not seem like it, but this man has got music TASTE like- yes. anyways yeah this song is a vibe and he really likes it. he once tried to introduce good music to tanaka and nishinoya, but they said it was “boring” and “sappy” and he never wanted to beat them up more than he did then.

kageyama: he listens to like play by play volleyball games or podcasts that talk about improving your skills because he’s a hoe for that volleyball shit try and prove me wrong i dare you

hinata: Red by Taylor Swift. he has terrible music taste and he literally just listens to what’s popular and like what his sister listens to. he likes to sing outloud and his voice is worse than oikawa- like karasuno cannot handle hinata singing at all it’s literal earrape.

tsukishima: Fancy by Twice. tsukki is a hardcore kpop stan, and he 100% listens to twice religiously, like that's the majority of his playlist, and he refuses to play his music out loud, and everyone thinks he listens to like rock or some shit like that. only yams knows that tsukki listens to it and he was sworn to secrecy.

yamaguchi: Sports by Beach Bunny. he likes to hum it quietly to himself because he really likes the beat and the lyrics. tsukishima has this song saved on his playlist just for yams and he plays it whenever they share headphones.

kiyoko: Body by Megan Thee Stallion. i dont know what to say, she is just a baddie who loves the confidence boost she gets from listening to this song as she should kiyoko is amazing she even learned the tiktok dance to this song and she performed it to yaichi yaichi.exe has stopped working but she won’t show it to anyone else anyways shes just a baddie and we stan.

yachi: Green by Cavetown. yeah she really likes the calming peaceful vibes this song has and she likes to sing it quietly when she is in a public place, like a bus or a subway to calm herself down and she also plays it when she studies.

aoba johsai 📼

oikawa: Bubblegum Bitch by MARINA because it just raidates that “i’m hotter than you” energy (just like he does our twink king). he prob sings it in the locker room while everyone is changing and his singing bursts everyones eardrums omg the whole team hates oikawa’s singing so much

matsukawa: Toad sings WAP he’s such a memer like- yeah so he and makki probably obsess over these toad sings video because 1. they are funny as hell like it’s some god tier comedy and 2. they say oikawa sounds like that when he sings it’s true tho

hanamaki: Toad sings Sweet Home Alabama. he and mattsun have a running debate about which one is better, and they ask the opinions of literally everyone they meet about it. so far more people have chose maki’s favorite song and he’s a little smug about it.

iwaizumi: Ride by twenty one pilots. this is probably like one of his secret pleasures. most people think he listens to like rap or something like that, but he really likes this song. he hopes that oikawa will never find out about this, because he will never hear the end of the teasing, so he just listens to this song while he is by himself, or just without the team.

yahaba: Walking On A Dream by Empire Of The Sun. idk this just feels right, like i really have no explanation why i think this works it just does🤠

kindaichi: Wake Me Up bye Avicii. this man is borderline bad taste, but we will let it slide for now, so yeah again, he just gives me the avicii stan vibes, he probably thought he would like rap more, but one day he heard avicii playing on the radio and he was hooked. he still pretends to like rap because he has a “reputation”

kunimi: Advice by Cavetown. this man gives absolutley zero fucks about everyone’s opinions you bet your ass he listens to this song. he 100% puts headphones in to listen to this while someone is talking to him because he just doesn’t want to have a conversation with them. everyone hates when he does that, but again, he doesn’t give a shit.

kyotani: We Will Rock You by Queen. yeah this is probably his pump up jam and he always listens to it before a game to get hyped up. if anyone dares to talk to him while he has headphones in, he will not hesitate to bite their head off i know this for a fact.

nekoma💾

kuroo: Yarichin Bitch Club OP. ever since kenma introduced him to anime OPs, he’s been obsessed, and he loves the yarichin op becuase 1. it’s dirty and he thinks that’s funny and 2. it actually slaps like why does it go so hard i’m in awe- anyways yeah he always sings it in the most public places just to get attention bc he’s a whore for the spotlight like that 😌. he also sings it with bokuto whenever they are together bc we stan the dumbass duo.

yaku: Arms Tonite by Mother Mother. yeah he is kinda obsessed with mother mother but this is hands down his favorite song. lev once heard yaku listening to this song and made fun of it, and let’s just say lev got the ass whopping of his life, yaku takes no prisoners- anyways yeah he just vibes with it and it’s great.

yamamoto: Who Let The Dogs Out by Baha Men. the whole nekoma team HATES his music taste, and they never let him play any music becasue- it’s just so bad i’m sorry this man has no taste like have you seen his hair? (the slander is real :))

kenma: Hikaru Nara (Your Lie in April OP) kenma loves to listen to anime ops while gaming bc they are highkey all bops and he says they help him concentrate. he tried to get kuroo to listen to the songs with him, and kuroo started to like listening to anime OPs, so they usually listen to them together.

fukunaga: he listens to like john mulaney comedy shows becuse he’s a little dork like that and (timeskip spoiler) he becomes a comedian later on so it just fits 🤠

inuoka: Roar by Katy Perry. again, it’s just the vibes that i get from him, i can’t explain it, he just seems like a big dork who would like this shit. so yeah, he probably sings this song really loudly when it comes on and the whole nekoma team just has to tolerate him when he does it.

lev: Ra Ra Rasputin by Boney M. he probably started listening to this song as a joke because he’s Russian, and the songs about Russia, but he genuinely started enjoying it and whenever it comes on, he starts singing. his voice isn’t actually that bad but yaku still gets annoyed as hell when he does it and beats the shit out of him.

fukurodani 📼

bokuto: Mr. Brightside by The Killers. he gets really excited when this plays and always gets up to sing it really really loudly, and do a really energetic dance. akaashi calm your child please he’s not a good singer, but he’s not a terrible one either, so the team has just gotten used to it.

akaashi: This Side of Paradise by Coyote Theory. eep akaashi the hopeless romantic we stan- anyways yeah he found this band in like his first year of high school and has been addicted ever since. he doesn’t really share his taste in music with others, but the one time he let bokuto listen to music with him, bokuto got way to excited and accidentally dropped akaashi’s phone and cracked it.

konoha: Spirits by The Strumbellas. idk i just feel like he would listen to this song. he would never play his music out loud though, because bokuto always takes the aux cord/ speaker before anyone gets the chance to.

shiratorizawa💾

ushijima: he doesn’t listen to music. like if tendou offers to play music with him, he’ll accept, but like he’s just confused why people like listening to music so much, so he will just listen with that face he always makes (😐) while tendo is jumping around, dancing, and going batshit crazy.

semi: All I Wanted by Paramore. he is flat out obsessed with this band and he learned how to play this song on his electric guitar and has went to a couple of their concerts. semi 100% makes fun of his teammates music taste as he should

tendou: Yoda CBT remix (i linked it if you want to listen), ok but seriously, i think money machine by 100 Gecs. tendo is so chaotic and i think his music taste reflects that. he cannot listen to music without dancing or singing, and he always plays his music on full volume (hearing? what’s that?) tendo never gets the aux cord, because the last time they gave it to him, the speakers almost broke.

goshiki: Eye of the Tiger by Survivor. this little dork omg i really don’t have an explanation for this, it just fits and i take no criticism on this because y’all know it’s true.

shirabu: Cigarette Ahegao by Penelope Scott. semi introduced him to this song and he pretened he didn’t like it but he’s secretly obsessed. i think he generally doesn’t like music but this song- this song is such a vibe that he has to like it. (anyways yeah go listen to this song its so good)

inarizaki 📼

kita: Animal by Neon Trees. he isn’t really open about listening to music, he only listens to his songs when he is alone and when he has earbuds in, and if someone walks up to him to talk, he takes his earphones out (we stan a respectful boy). so yeah, he isn’t a big fan of music, but he still likes to listen from time to time.

aran: You Know It by Colony House. he will never listen to music in front of anyone because whenever he hears this song, he has to sing, and he doesn’t like singing in front of people (the miya twins are annoying he can’t do anything in front of them🙄), but yeah, this songs really good we stan this man’s music taste.

atsumu: Girls in the Hood by Megan Thee Stallion. this man LOVES this song like- he is obsessed. if you ask him something, he will literally reply with “can’t talk right now, doing hot girl shit” and he just walks away and ur just like- what the fuck bro. anyways yeah he thinks he’s a bad bitch but he really is just a dork.

suna: 505 by The Arctic Monkeys. yeah, the basic choice would probably be “why’d you only call me when you’re high”, but i feel like he would like this song better because it starts off kinda vibey, and then it goes into this great guitar bit, and just- the v i b e s so yeah i think he really likes this shit.

osamu: cooking podcasts. like he literally doesn’t listen to music, just shit about cooking. atsumu makes fun of him for it and he is just like “bitch shut up and go do ur hot girl shit 😐” and just walks away and keeps on listening to his cooking shit. (we stan this petty bitch)

others💾

saeko: E-GIRLS ARE RUINING MY LIFE! by CORPSE and Savage Ga$p. this is self explanatory, she just is a bad bitch and this is what bad bitches listen to 😌 she def has played this song while getting it on with someone.

terushima: Bust It Open by Lil’ Wil. we all know terushima listens to these thirst trap songs and tries to do the tik tok dances that are associated with them. he probably posts videos to these songs on tik tok and they get a good amount of likes (cough cough he has a following of many thirsty girls).

sakusa: 24 hours of nothing yeah he doesn’t listen to music he just puts this on with headphones so people won’t bother him. he finds the silence relaxing and hates it when people interrupt him (cough cough atsumu)

btw: for some of the songs that aren’t on basic streaming services, i linked the youtube video for them.

anyways, i hope you enjoyed my first post [eep finishing this made me really happy]! have a nice day!

bye for now🌊

#haikyuu #haikyu #haikyuu drabbles #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu!!#haikyu imagine #haikyuu scenarios #haikyuu imagines

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kcrinas · 4 years ago

Text

hi sexies ! i’m dani ( she/her ) , 21 & i’m from the gta aka ur messy canadian wassup 🤠 thank u guys sm for applying all ur muses are so beautiful & im sm in love already ! i rly wanna plot w every single one of u so pls give this a like for permission for me 2 come bug u for plots ! 🖤 karina’s info & wanted connections r under the cut !

karina maji was spotted in the fashion district adorning gucci leather ankle boots , with some airpod pros on . they’re most likely listening to don’t stop by meg thee stallion . you may know them as @karina or as that mishti rahman lookalike . their twenty - fourth birthday just passed . while living in tribeca , they’ve gained a bit of a reputation . they’re known to be tenacious but on the other hand quixotic . wonder if they’ll be the next person to hit the headlines . ( cisfemale / she/her + dani / 21 / she/her )

* 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐬 :

full name : karina aarvi maji .

nicknames : kar , rina , maji

age : twenty - four .

gender : cisfemale , she/her .

sexual orientation : pansexual .

hometown : chicago , illinois .

occupation : professional mma fighter / instagram model .

zodiac chart : aquarius sun , gemini moon , scorpio rising .

character inspo : alicia mendez ( kingdom ) , cristina yang ( grey’s anatomy ) , princess jasmine ( aladdin ) , megara ( hercules ) , alyssa ( the end of the f*cking world ) , kat stratford ( 10 things i hate about you )

* 𝐛𝐢𝐨𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐩𝐡𝐲 :

tw : death , accident , drugs .

karina’s life began in chicago , illinois . born where her parents spent their life , grew up together & eventually ended up married . it was the perfect love story , best friends - then lovers - then soulmates . tied for life , married young , in their mid 20′s . but the love between the two of them never faltering once even after another 10 years pass .

her mother , was a highly sought after model . her father , one of the most legendary ufc fighters in the league . the maji’s were considered royalty to the tabloids , their love story inspiring many . their life was seemingly so perfect , a dream to many . & when they found themselves blessed with a little girl after five years of marriage , it just made them an even more “ perfect ” family .

karina was treated like a princess , her parents adored the ground she walked on & karina did the same with them . she was well - behaved growing up , knowing how lucky she was to be living so luxurious , something her parents taught her to appreciate since she was old enough to understand . they drilled gratefulness into her head by the age of five . it was a very rare occurrence where karina would fight or disrespect her parents .

they lived in chicago for many years , a way for them to keep their roots established while raising karina . & have more privacy than living in their career hubs would give them - aka , nyc or la . it was much more accessible for her father to work out of chicago , but for her mother , there were many hours spent travelling between chicago & new york . too many .

( tw death , plane crash ) it was the mere age of 17 , when karina’s loving mother never returned home from her trip to new york . tragedy struck when her plane crashed due to pilot error . the day that changed not only karina’s life permanently , but her father too . both their�� hearts broke into two that day .

she wondered for months how she could possibly continue life & living without her mom in it . & the older she got , the more & more the feeling invaded her . through every life experience she had afterwards she wished with everything in her that her mom was there next to her .

karina went from a happy , extroverted & polite girl to a closed off , sardonic & enigmatic woman . it was as if the light was taken out of her body & she turned into someone unrecognizable .

( tw drugs ) it tore her dad apart , after taking a year off to mend , he fell into a spiral of alcohol & drugs , and he never went back . his career completely ended . to this day , her dad hasn’t stepped foot in the ring since her mother’s death .

her senior year of high school - karina fell into that same spiral . using cocaine , xanax , weed & booze to cure her broken heart . & she felt like it did , for a little while anyway . by some miracle , she graduated with her diploma . but that didn’t mean much anyway , karina wasn’t going to college , she knew exactly what she wanted to do with the rest of her life .

karina grew up religiously watching her dad fight , she’d seen tapes of every single one of his fights before she was old enough to watch them & from before she was born . religiously trained & boxed with her father every sunday since she was eleven . she learned the ins & out at a young age , & fell in love with the sport the second she took her first swing .

she fell even more heavily into training after her mom passed , spending practically every single day honing her skills & building herself to follow in her dad’s footsteps & become one of the best fighters the ufc has ever seen .

began building her career at eighteen by moving to new york city , she was signed by the age of 20 . suddenly appearing in the tabloids , there was something about her that seemed to bring in people’s attention . mma fans or not , she gained a large following on social media .

suddenly , she was getting sponsorship offers left & right . whether it was mma related or sugarbear hair , she was getting them . karina took the ones that paid her well , & her following just seemed to keep rising every day after that , basically became considered an “ influencer ” along with her other title .

at the age of 21 , karina became one of the youngest female ever to be signed by the UFC . this was a big deal to her , as it’s a dream so many fighters wish for . something it takes years of hard work & dedication to accomplish . something she worked her entire life for .

she’s been fighting with the ufc for the last three years , loving every minute of it . the intense training , the fights , the interviews , it all gives her a rush she can’t explain . something drugs couldn’t give her , which she’s required to get tested for every once in a while , usually before a fight . she’s found her ways around using without it ruining her career and/or getting caught . let’s see how long that lasts .. ; - ) ksjndfsfd

with all the money that she’s reigned in the last few years from the ufc along with her instagram sponsorships , she’s sending a lot of it to her father , considering his “retirement” fund is basically non - existent while he stays cooped up in their chicago family home , surrounded by memories of her mother . while karina stays resided in her cozy tribeca home , only steps away from her training gym .

* 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐲 :

karina is a v hard nut 2 crack . she’s closed off , sardonic & doesn’t really converse much with strangers

it’s basically been her & her dad since her mom’s passing , so she’s very hard to get close to . but once u do , she’ll never let u go .

she’s loyal to a fault , because she’s always afraid of people leaving / d*ing .

she’s trying to branch out & make more friends since moving to tribeca , but she truly doesn’t open up to anyone . if she opens up to you about her life or her past , she truly trusts u , & that means something

she tends to come off as intimidating or .. bitchy , even when she doesn’t mean to . her personality just tends to be dry . she tends to have dark humour , so she has to be careful who she makes jokes around skndfkk

sometimes tends 2 stir up drama even by accident . nskjkf

if she’s not training for a fight , she’ll be out partying every night . dancing on tables & probably getting herself kicked out of whatever bar/club she found herself in that night . doing what she can to get drunk or feel any type of high , whether that be drugs or waking up next to a stranger .

she’s heavily into fashion & always posting cute outfits on instagram , something that caused her following to grow .

she’s lowkey a hopeless romantic ... seeing how her parents fell in love , but it scares tf out of her because of their ending . & she’d literally never admit this to anyone ever .

she’s a new muse & i’m still developing her but i have sm muse so i’m very excited & i rly hope you guys like her !

* 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 :

ok hello if u read that long ass messy shit ur a baddie 🖤 anyway , for wc’s , i literally have so many !! they are all listed here @karinawcs , so take a peek & if you like any of them lmk bc i have tons of headcannons / ideas for all those ! hehe ily let’s plot

#10 yrs later hfdkskf #sry this got so fkn long ...#plot w me pls 🥺🖤#wealthyhq:intro

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ash-etherwood · 4 years ago

Note

Top 5: writing memories, songs, characters that are not blank rune, runes, food

♡

Linda I love you but are you trying to kill me … that’s so many Top 5’s! But alright, I’ll do my best! (Answers will probably switch between German and English RIP to every non-German-speaker who follows me and wants to read this for some reason I swear I’m normal)

WRITING MEMORIES

5.) The entire time I spent finishing my first (second?) longer writing project It was the year 2012 and it was a cyberpunk story about my friends’ and my edgy self inserts riding dinosaurs, fighting aliens and being badass. The plot twist in the end was that my character was secretly evil and wanted to kill everyone. (Things to show your therapist) The final boss fight made zero sense and also everything was incredibly weird and stupid. But sometimes I still think about those times when I sat in my grandma’s living room at night, eating chips and listening to Vocaloid covers while thinking this story was the coolest shit ever. Truly simpler times.

4.) Researching something about universities in Texas for OvF on a rainy Saturday afternoon I have no idea why this memory is still sticking with me to this day (I think it was around 2016 or something?), but I remember that it was just a really nice day and I felt really at peace at that moment?

3.) The entire writing process of Bathroom Blues It was such a spontaneous project and I still have no idea how I managed to power though it in just a little under two months! Also it was just incredibly fun seeing you getting excited over new drafts and I loved coming up with new plot points and Halloween costumes for everyone with you. :-D Truly a summer worth remembering.

2.) FINALLY uploading the prologue and intro chapter of WWBL Not really a writing memory, but that moment was … so sexy and magical. Seriously, you have no idea how long I had been waiting to finally start that story, waiting for the Steckbriefe to roll in and see people react to the prologue and generally the idea … I even made one of those countdown graphic thingies for the designated upload date! 8D At that point I had planned that story for about six months and just … yeah, that felt powerful to me.

1.) Writing the prologue for WWBL When I first started the draft for that prologue I was sitting at the window in my favourite hotel in Winterberg, Sauerland, wore my dark green flannel, had the window wide open breathing in the cool mountain air and allowed myself to listen to my WWBL playlist for the very first time. God, that felt so amazing. I even have a photo of it (which somehow makes it look like I have the biggest football shoulders in the universe) my sister took that night. God I miss Sauerland. )’:

- - - - -

SONGS

My apologies to every favourite song of mine that I forgot about, I have a whole playlist of them, but I think these are some of my oldest faves … (Honorable mentions for Don’t Mess With Me and Not That Big by Temposhark, Goodbye by Apparat, Me And The Devil by Soap&Skin, Heart Heart Head by Meg Myers, Pain and Animal I Have Become by Three Days Grace, Beautiful Crime by Tamer, Gravity Of Love by Enigma, In Flames by Digital Daggers [thanks Phi u_u] and Murder Cries by Snow Ghosts AHHH FUCK IT I could’ve just made a playlist,,,)

5.) Vater Unser by E Nomine Starting off with some weird shit, won’t we? I’ve been in love with this song since fifth or sixth grade, when I was just starting to develop an actual music taste and although I have many favourite songs by E Nomine, this one has to be my absolute fave. Every time I can relate it to a character it makes me love said character even more. (Also I think about it every time my mom forces me to go to church for Christmas so … yay? I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t even be able to remember the Vater Unser if it wasn’t for this song. 8D)

4.) Wires by The Neighbourhood I think this is the newest all-time fave on this list, I found it in … 2015? Thank you, Youtube AMVs. Yeah man, this one is just … on so many playlists it’s not even funny anymore.

3.) Heathens by Twenty One Pilots An edgelord classic but like … it’s on EVERY playlist of mine. Every single one. It’s just so good. The first time I heard it was on the radio tho, when I was having breakfast with Jessie and I forced her to shazam it because it immediately stuck with me,,,

2.) Imaginary by Evanescence My first Evanescence song ever and the first step towards becoming who I am today I think. This song has like … such a big history for me, man. It single-handedly turned me goth in 2008 and I have never really thanked it for that.

1.) Eternal by Evanescence Might be my favourite song of all time. The number of dramatic RP scenes I have written with this in the background … man. Oh, also this song is the reason for one of my oldest internet nicknames, ‘eternala’, which subsequently shortened into Etschuh and then Tschuh, my main nickname until 2017, when I came out as trans and finally found an actual name for myself I was comfortable with!

- - - - -

NON BLANK RUNE CHARACTERS

I know this was probably supposed to be about fandom characters but I can literally not come up with a single character right now that I love with a special burning passion and that is not my or one of my friends’ OCs so you’re getting OCs now. u_u And boy do I have a lot of those.

5.) Jackson Tracey from atroCITY (mine) This little piece of shit kept me company for a pretty long time and is still very close to my heart for some reason, although I haven’t drawn him or really thought about him in detail for a while now. My favourite thing is how I only realized what a horrible person he was after I stopped regularly working with him but honestly good for me. 8D His storyline and personality is kinda convoluted and tbh I’m not really sure how much of it is canon anyway (atrc was always a little weird about canon rip) but yeah. He’s an obsessive stalker piece of shit who pities himself way too much and he is also a semi-immortal demigod who likes knives. I hate him but he also helped me a lot with some gender and sexuality stuff so thanks I guess.

4.) Mayoko Imai from Century Riders DXPrototype (Maus’ and mine) Mayoko is a magical girl protagonist with a cool cyborg arm prosthetic and her main character trait was that she was basically a reverse weeaboo, a Japanese girl who was obsessed with American media, culture and comic book heroes! I actually love her concept a lot and she also had a pretty cool character arc in her story (which Maus and I wrote together and actually finished btw!), although it could use a lot more … polishing from today’s point of view. But I love her anyway. She always wanted to do the right thing and be a hero and got broken pretty cruelly and her ending is kinda bittersweet I guess? Ahh there’s just so much nuance to it … anyways, CR3 also stuck with me for a very long time and I enjoyed the time with her a lot. :3 (Her name had a cameo in Another Incident btw heehee)

3.) Tessa *insert extremely long chain of unnecessary first names here* von Lean from Nobody Is Perfect and Infernal Temptation (belongs to one of my old school friends) Tessa is just … a hand full. I love to hate her. She is badly written and developed and just OOZES mentally ill teenage girl’s idealized self-insert power fantasy, but she just … man, she was a big part of one of my most drama-filled high school friendships which I love looking back at so much. Tessa has fucked so many of my characters … good for her tbh! There are actually two versions of her, one is just a ‘normal’ teenage girl and one can shapeshift into a cheetah, but both of them are very close to my heart. I should really adopt and redesign her some day.

2.) Judy Khayat from Original vs. Final (mine) Look, I love all my OvF-characters and every single one of them is special to me in their own way, but Judy is just … the most complex of them all I think? Man, she went through so much … she is actually one of my oldest (semi)-active characters (I created her in 2009) and her latest version is from 2016 but I should really, REALLY revise her again tbh. She has a very complicated backstory that I didn’t handle as carefully as I should have, and anger issues and religious conflict and depression and PTSD and then Vance of all people becomes obsessed with her for no reason and decides to traumatize her even more … yeah. God I really love her but I seriously need to work on her. A LOT. I should also finally rename her tbh … let’s just see where she takes me next.

1.) Okami (I don’t even remember if she has a proper last name rn lol) from Split Realm (mine) Yeah, that bitch is just my favourite OC. She’s also very old, probably from around 2009, and initially was a magical girl with fire powers who I played in an RP with my friend Flauch but boy did she grow up! Holy fuck. Okami is a horrible person but I love her so much. She is so violent and full of anger and pain and sadness and treats everyone around her like shit and she is in love and she is a demon but also apparently the personification of the concept of Chaos but she just wants to be a teenager again and run away with the love of her life and ahhh it’s all so hopeless for her … also she turned out gnc af with time passing and pretty much went through a gender/sexuality crisis in real time with me, her creator, which is always fun. :^D I haven’t drawn her in a while tbh. Should really do that.

- - - - -

RUNES IN BLANK RUNE

I’m just gonna go with the arcs here, okay? Also this entire answer might look completely different if you asked me again tomorrow, you know how indecisive I am with Blank Rune shit ahha,,,

5.) Jera Look. I know I’m boring and stupid. But I just love Tave and Liam having their disgusting little foreshadowing talk, okay? I can read it over and over. I just love my horrible little shit crime boys. Also Rhy and Phillip are there. (’:

4.) Isa This one is here because it was the first arc I witnessed in real time which gives it a very special place in my heart and it also … hit pretty hard at the time. But having read Fehu it’s become even better now! It’s just such a wonderful, tragic romance between two horrible, ruthless boys and I … I’m not immune to Rhy, sadly. :-/ Just like Phillip.

3.) Wunjo We still haven’t seen everything that leads up to Wunjo yet, but we DO know more than we did initially (wow shocker) and it’s just always a fucking blast. Also, it has the first mention of Ash’s real name … the first Rhy POV (which what the fuck!! I always feel like we had one before but we didn’t!! Wild) and it has crazy blood-soaked murder Tave, my beloved. :///3

2.) Eiwaz You guys have heard me fanboy about Eiwaz so many times already. Eiwaz-OT3 (and Kain) my beloved!!! It’s just SUCH an amazing starting point and there are so, so many things that tie back to it and every time we find out about a new one my heart makes a little jump … und es beginnt von Neuem indeed.

1.) Gebo One of the most painful but also the most beautiful arcs yet in my opinion. It’s been hyped up for so long and boy did it deliver. God, my heart still hurts when I think about that last scene. Also all the dialogue … the golden lines we got … and it’s an arc without Rhy! Crazy!! :-D I just love the relationship between Ash, Astrid and Jakob so much. God fuck I want what they have. Just maybe without the murder suicide,,,

- - - - -

FOOD

5.) Diese Sonntagsbrötchen wo die Verpackung so plopp macht, wenn man die Folie abzieht Better than normale Brötchen for some reason. Most of the time. See 2.) Look man, I just really love a good breakfast …

4.) Chocolate cupcakes with cream cheese topping One of the first things from a certain baking book I tried when I was getting into baking back in 2019. God they are so tasty. I don’t make them often so I don’t get used to them too much and eating them still feels special but ahhhh I love them so much!

3.) Grünkohl mit Kartoffelbrei und Mettendchen One of my favourite things about autumn/winter and one of my biggest comfort foods. God I love this shit so much. I just put … mountains of Grünkohl and Kartoffelbrei on my plate every time and I will just warm it up for four days straight until there’s no more left. It turns me into a fucking caveman. I’m not even big on eating meat but … yeah. Everything is different when there’s Grünkohl.

2.) Normales Brötchen mit Butter und Scheibenkäse aber ich bin beim Frühstücksbuffet im Hotel Oddly specific but that’s just how it is. Sorry. Nichts geht über Brötchen mit Käse.

1.) Chilli-Knoblauch-Nudelauflauf My beloved. My comfort food. I eat it literally every second day. At least one hour in the kitchen every time. Fresh ingredients. My only vegetable intake. And I’ve been doing that for three years. I just love it so much, man. I cook it for everyone who visits me. Chilli-Knoblauch-Auflauf cured my depression.

#ask #crimsondaisy #2.4k works of me talking about myself under the cut rip #thank you tho!!!

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dettiot · 5 years ago

Text

Fic: late-night interruption 1/?

late-night interruption Author: dettiot Rating: G (for now) Ship: Anidala Characters: Obi-Wan, Anakin, Padmé, Sabé, Rex

Summary: When Obi-Wan receives a late-night comm from Sabé, he’s not sure what to expect. But what he learns will change many lives . . . and the fate of the Republic.

Note: This is an expanded and revised version of a ficlet I posted on my Tumblr. I loved this idea so much and a lot of people wanted more, and the follow-up ficlets just didn't scratch the itch for me. So I hope you enjoy this!

Also posted on AO3!

Chapter 1

As the blue holoimage of Master Yoda faded away, Obi-Wan Kenobi let out a breath. “Well.”

“That’s all you’ve got to say? ‘Well’?”

“No, that is not all I have to say, Anakin,” he said, looking at his former Padawan. “But where to begin? That’s the question.”

“How about with the Council playing right into the Separatists’ hands by keeping us bouncing around the Outer Rim like this?” Anakin said, turning to face him. “While we’re chasing droid armies, Dooku and Grievous are planning something, I know it.”

Folding his arms over his chest, Obi-Wan gazed down at the holotable, even though there was nothing on display. Because it was hard to deny Anakin’s words. For the last six months, they had been moving around the Outer Rim, fighting battles at a clip they hadn’t seen since the early days of the war.

Battles that felt pointless. Like a distraction, a misdirection, allowing the Separatists to conceal their true plan.

“What do you think they’re planning, then?” Obi-Wan asked him.

Anakin shrugged. “Whatever it is, it’s bound to be big. The Separatists have been losing ground for the last year. Almost like they’re letting themselves be pushed out to the edge of the galaxy, so no one will think they’ve got a big offensive in them.”

“Going by that logic, their next move will be to attack the center of the galaxy,” Obi-Wan said, stroking his beard. “Like Coruscant.”

“Yeah,” Anakin said, looking worried. “That’s what I thought.”

The silence that fell between them was heavy and thick. Full of words they wouldn’t say, emotions they wouldn’t acknowledge.

As he looked at Anakin, Obi-Wan was struck by just how old he looked. Anakin wasn’t even twenty-three yet, but he looked much older. But even more than that, he just looked . . .

His hair was disheveled and unwashed. His clothes smelled of smoke and bore more than a few singe marks. And he was definitely too thin.

No matter how bad things were, Obi-Wan made time to shower, to change his clothes, to eat. He might be as short on sleep as Anakin, but otherwise, he attempted to take care of himself. Because such efforts paid off in the long run. It was hard-won knowledge, learned as his youthful energy faded in the face of continuous challenges.

But Anakin was stubborn. Convinced of his invincibility. And he didn’t respond well when he felt Obi-Wan was telling him what to do.

“I suppose we should be thankful the Council is being cautious. It allows us to take advantage of the downtime,” Obi-Wan said, eyeing Anakin.

“You say cautious, I say dangerously inactive,” he grumbled.

Well . . . it was hard to argue with that. But the point of this wasn’t to get into a fight with Anakin about the Council’s position. It was to encourage him to get some rest.

“Be that as it may, we should both try to get some sleep,” Obi-Wan said firmly.

For a moment, Anakin looked at him, and even opened his mouth as if he wanted to say something. It was rare for Anakin to hesitate like that--so rare that Obi-Wan took a step towards him.

“Anakin?”

As quickly as the moment came, it went. Anakin shook his head and stepped back. “Nothing, Master. You’re right, we should take advantage of this break to catch up on our rest.”

It was tempting to press Anakin, to step up to the door he had opened for a moment and ask for admittance. There had been something bothering him for the last few months, Obi-Wan knew. Ever since their last visit to Coruscant, Anakin seemed to be mulling something, to the point of outright brooding.

But Anakin was an adult now. If he chose not to talk to Obi-Wan about whatever was in his thoughts, that was his choice. And as difficult as it was to let Anakin struggle when Obi-Wan felt like he could help, he knew he should respect Anakin’s decisions.

“Yes, indeed,” Obi-Wan said, following Anakin out of the private conference room and towards the hanger bay. For flexibility, they had been traveling on separate ships, to allow them to split up when needed. But that flexibility had come at the cost of Obi-Wan monitoring Anakin.

Captain Rex fell into step with them. “Generals,” he acknowledged them. “Any word on what’s next?”

“Still waiting for it,” Anakin said, sounding disgruntled.

With his typical equanimity, Rex just nodded. “Sure to come soon, sir.”

“Only if we’re lucky,” Anakin said.

Anakin and Rex kept talking as Obi-Wan followed them, contemplating the matter at hand. He didn’t want to pry, but . . . if Anakin wasn’t sleeping, it would catch up with him. Usually at the worst possible time.

No, if he was going to get his former Padawan to actually rest, it would take going behind his back and arranging for him to not be disturbed. And if there was one thing Obi-Wan Kenobi was perfectly willing to do, it was to be sneaky.

“Did we get the transmission of the Chancellor’s latest speech?” Anakin asked Rex.

“Yes, sir. Waiting for you when we get back to the ship,” Rex said.

There was an exchange of glances between Anakin and Rex. Something about it made Obi-Wan take another look at the two men. Remembering those times lately when Rex had seemed to be covering for Anakin while he was doing . . . something.

Obi-Wan gave his head a shake. He was becoming paranoid--a sure sign of his own exhaustion. As soon as he took care of Anakin and saw him and Rex off to their ship, he was going directly to his quarters.

And then Anakin literally walked into a wall and Obi-Wan made up his mind.

“Anakin, are you all right?” he asked, stepping forward to offer him a hand up.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine,” Anakin said sheepishly, rising to his feet on his own power. His cheeks were flushed and he rubbed a hand over his face. “Just tired.”

Turning to Rex, Obi-Wan said, “You should pilot the shuttle to the Resolute. If Anakin did it, you’d probably wind up flying into a black hole.”

“Master,” Anakin said, his voice practically a whine.

Obi-Wan gave him a look. “Why don’t you go prep the ship for launch? If you do it properly, I’m sure Rex would be more comfortable putting his life into your hands.”

That wasn’t quite enough to pacify Anakin, but it got him onto the shuttle, just as Obi-Wan wanted. He turned to Rex. “Captain, I’m ordering you to hold any of Anakin’s comm messages until he’s gotten at least eight hours of sleep.”

Rex shifted his feet a little. “You sure about that, General?”

Translation: Rex was fully prepared to throw him under the speeder if Anakin found out. Which, to be honest, was just what Obi-Wan expected Rex to say.

“Yes, I am,” Obi-Wan said. “I’ll deal with Anakin if it comes to that.”

“Understood, sir,” Rex said, his sense of worry easing slightly. “I’ll take care of General Skywalker, never you fear.”

“I have no doubt of that, Rex,” Obi-Wan said with a small smile.

With a crisp salute, Rex followed Anakin up the landing ramp of the shuttle. It only took a few moments for the ramp to lift and for the ship’s engines to spool up. With Anakin on his way to his ship, that meant Obi-Wan was able to head to his quarters.

A few minutes in the sonic shower and a ration bar was enough to make him feel ready for bed. But he still sat on the floor and dropped into a short meditation, doing his best to clear his mind before bed. He had found that a few minutes of meditation before sleeping was enough to help hold off the worst of his nightmares.

He just hoped tonight that he would fall asleep quickly.

By the time he rose from the floor and pulled back his covers, Obi-Wan was yawning. Slipping between the sheets, he closed his eyes and felt the warm, dark blanket of oblivion fall over him peacefully.

XXX

As she trailed behind Padmé, Sabé was struck with a sense of déjà vu. It had been years since she had served as a traditional handmaiden, but it was rather remarkable how all the old skills came back to her.

Keep her head lowered but her eyes up. Make a note of every person and droid who crossed their path. Stay two steps behind Padmé, fading into the background whenever anyone approaches her. Listen to every conversation without appearing to hear anything.

Yet serving Padmé as an aide instead of a handmaiden was very different. On Naboo or during their trips off-planet, Queen Amidala had played a different role. A role with more respect, more autonomy.

Now? As a Senator? Sabé didn’t know how Padmé could deal with the lack of control, with having to sway other Senators to her point of view.

But then, that was why Padmé was the Senator and Sabé was the aide. Her old friend and former Queen had all the skills needed to be a Senator, while Sabé preferred to gather information and work on the fringes or in the dark.

It was only due to Padmé’s condition that Sabé was here at all, stepping in to allow Dormé to double for Padmé more frequently.

Because even though it was probably obvious to most people who looked at her, Padmé had refused to make any public announcements about her pregnancy. And Sabé knew why, could understand why . . . but she didn’t have to like it. Not when it meant Padmé had to keep working, had to keep pushing herself instead of taking it easy.

Sabé found herself worrying more and more about Padmé’s child, even as her worries for Padmé herself increased exponentially.

Without the mid-adolescence growth spurt Sabé had experienced, Padmé had remained the same height as when she was a fourteen-year-old queen. Her figure was slight, and even though Sabé knew Padmé was strong and physically fit . . . it seemed like her swollen belly dwarfed her figure.

The moment Sabé had seen Padmé upon her arrival on Coruscant, her first thought had been how could a woman so small be having such a large baby? Sabé had immediately asked about Padmé’s prenatal care, but her friend had waved aside her concerns.

“I’ve regularly seen a med droid and I’m in good health,” Padmé reassured her.

She had opened her mouth to argue that a med droid was fine in a pinch but no replacement for an actual healer, but the tightness of Padmé’s mouth, the strain in her eyes, made Sabé hold her tongue.

At least Padmé had asked her to come, Sabé had tried to console herself. She was Padmé’s oldest friend, the first handmaiden selected upon Padmé’s election as Princess of Theed and future Queen of Naboo. Padmé must have had some concerns about her health to ask Sabé to come, instead of pretending everything was fine.

And since her friend had asked her to come, Sabé had of course gotten on the first ship to Coruscant. Nothing would prevent her from helping Padmé.

It had only taken a few days for Sabé to see just how much Padmé needed her help. Her work schedule was even more punishing than it was when she had been Queen. It wasn’t just the hours of reading and research, either. Achieving anything in the Senate seemed predicated upon tedious socializing: cocktail parties, dinners, nights at the opera and the ballet . . .

No wonder Padmé looked exhausted even before you considered she was seven and a half months pregnant.

But tonight would be different. There were no social engagements, and it was still fairly early. They could go back to Padmé’s apartment and Sabé would order some dinner while Padmé bathed. If luck was with her, Sabé could convince Padmé to actually relax by watching a holomovie or talking, instead of doing more reading.

When Senator Bendon approached them, Sabé was very tempted to nudge Padmé along. They were nearly to the speeder dock, where Padmé’s pilot and security escort was waiting for her. They were so close to escaping!

But of course Padmé wouldn’t ignore a colleague, so Sabé hung back as Padmé, with help from C-3PO, spoke with Senator Bendon.

However, as Sabé watched her friend, she couldn’t help feeling like something was wrong. There was a tension in Padmé’s shoulders--a tension, she now realized, which had been there since Sabé had arrived on Coruscant.

Padmé’s body suddenly flinched, and Senator Bendon made an Ithorian gesture that seemed to represent concern.

“Senator Amidala, are you all right?” 3PO translated.

“Yes,” Padmé lied. Her voice was breathy and thin, and she half-turned towards Sabé, who was already stepping forward. “I’m sorry, Senator, but I was on my way home--”

The other senator made a few noises and 3PO said, “I’m sorry to have kept you. Have a good evening, Senator Amidala.”

Sabé supported Padmé, who leaned on her heavily as they walked to the speeder dock.

“Padmé, is it--?” she asked quietly, her voice barely above a whisper.

Lips tight, Padmé nodded. She said nothing further until they were settled in the speeder, zipping through Coruscant’s traffic towards 500 Republica.

“I . . . I’ve been having contractions for a week, but--but it’s too early,” Padmé said, her face white and beads of sweat appearing on her forehead.

It was all she could do not to roll her eyes. How could Padmé let herself be in this condition for a week without saying anything? Sabé held tight to her frustration, as a way to ignore her guilt. Because how could Padmé have contractions for a week without Sabé noticing? Without anyone noticing?

“We’re nearly home,” Sabé said, putting all the comfort and reassurance she could into her voice. “When we arrive, we’ll call for a healer. No arguments,” she warned Padmé.

Silently, Padmé nodded, then reached out and gripped Sabé’s hand. “Sabé--please call Anakin. I want--no, I need him here.”

“Then we’ll get him here,” Sabé said gently. “Just breathe, Padmé.”

Padmé nodded again, then let out a soft groan and squeezed Sabé’s hand tightly.

“Faster,” Sabé called out to the driver, gently stroking Padmé’s hair.

XXX

It wasn’t the first time the chiming of his comm had awoken him in the middle of the night. It wasn’t even the first time tonight, due to Admiral Yularen notifying him of a course change. But his sleep had been so deep, coming after too many nights with too little sleep, that it was hard to respond to another interruption.

But Obi-Wan simply called on the Force to clear away some of his exhaustion as he picked up his comm.

“Kenobi.”

“Sorry to wake you up, General, but I’m getting a comm for you and the person on the other end won’t take no for an answer,” one of the communication officers said briskly.

Sitting up, Obi-wan rubbed his eyes. “Who is it?”

“No name, but they said when you met, you knew them as someone else?”

Obi-Wan frowned. That wasn’t exactly clear, and his sleep-addled mind wasn’t helping him figure this out. He reached out to the Force, seeking guidance, and felt a small flicker. A nudge, urging him to listen to the unknown person.

“Put it through,” Obi-Wan said, running a hand through his hair and tugging his tunic into place.

His mouth dropped open in confusion and surprise when he saw the person displayed on the holo. For a moment, he thought it was Senator Amidala, but, no, it wasn’t her--it was–

“Sabé?” he asked, surprised and confused. The former handmaiden still bore a strong resemblance to Padmé, but it was now easier to spot the differences between the two women and make the proper identification. But that didn’t help him understand why Sabé was contacting him.

“Master Kenobi, I’m sorry for this interruption,” she said after a graceful nod. Her face was smooth and blank, her voice even, but there was something in her presence that made Obi-Wan feel on edge. Because deep down, Sabé was very worried.

“Not at all. Although I am surprised to hear from you, I admit,” Obi-Wan replied.

Sabé took a deep breath. “Yes, of course. But–but it is urgent I speak with Master Skywalker, and unfortunately, the communication officers on his ship were less willing to assist me.”

It appeared that Rex had followed Obi-Wan’s orders to the letter. He couldn’t regret the order, not with how tired Anakin had looked. Even if he was now put in the position of playing middleman between Anakin and Sabé. Who, Obi-Wan noted, had carefully avoided telling him why she needed to speak to Anakin.

“I didn’t know you were in communication with Anakin,” he prodded. He blamed having just been woken up for the not-so-graceful approach he took.

She seemed to blink. “I’m not,” she said, hesitating for a moment. “I assumed that wherever you were, Master Skywalker would not be far away. Or that you would be able to contact him when I could not.”

“That is true . . .” Obi-Wan said, pondering her words and investigating her presence, even though it was difficult to do so via a holo connection. The fact that Sabé was not a stranger to him helped a little, although given the way Padmé and her handmaidens switched places, Obi-Wan still wasn’t sure if he knew any of her assistants that well.

And he knew, from his conversations with Padmé over the years, that she considered Sabé her closest friend. Which made him wonder if Sabé was reaching out to Anakin on someone else’s behalf.

When he considered everything, Obi-Wan knew what he should do.

“How can I help, Sabé?” Obi-Wan asked, ready to assist in any way he could.

“All I require is to be connected with Master Skywalker,” Sabé said evenly.

Of course, she wanted something he wasn’t sure he should help with. Especially not when he reached out to the Resolute for Anakin’s presence and felt the still calm radiating off him. If he wasn't asleep, he was definitely resting, which made Obi-Wan feel relieved. At least something was going to plan tonight.

“I’m sorry, I’m afraid that’s not possible right now,” he told Sabé, trying to make his voice gentle. “But I would be happy to pass along a message--”

“It’s an emergency,” Sabé interrupted. Her placid mask cracked, alerting him to the truth in her words. “Please, Master Kenobi.”

“Perhaps if you told me more about this emergency, I would be able to assist you,” Obi-Wan said, not willing to disturb Anakin for anything less than the fall of the Republic.

A flicker of emotion showed on Sabé’s face and in her presence, a spike of anger and annoyance and--fear? He could tell she was gathering herself before she spoke, and Obi-Wan wondered what she was going to say.

And after he heard her words, Obi-Wan almost found himself wishing the Republic was falling.

“Senator Amidala has gone into premature labor, and she wants the father of her child to be there.”

End, Chapter 1

#anidala #obi-wan kenobi #anakin skywalker #padme amidala #sabe #star wars #obi-wan finds out

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mothmonologue · 4 years ago

Text

Storytime about the one Cavetown concert I've been to

So it all started with my friend I made in a summer camp being like 'so you know Twenty one pilots is coming to this festival this summer' and I was like 'wait you know Twenty one pilots' and she was like 'wait so YOU know them too oh wow let's go together' and I obviously agreed. Literally nobody I listen to comes near my country so this was like a one time chance and I knew it.

And we went to that festival. Earlier on she told me that she'll go to another show, Cavetown, after tøp finishes. At this point I wasn't very familiar with his music, I heard it here and there (like 'This is Home' and other more known ones) but as fair as I could tell it was pretty good. And I thought 'my friend likes him and she's cool so he must be cool too'.

So we had that Tøp show, it was a religious experience to put it short and WE GOT SO CLOSE TO THE DRUMS AT THE END and someone spilled their beer at me. After them, Foo Fighters was coming to the stage, so immediately after it ended, a lot of crusty old rockers started stomping in on us, so it was literally two crowds wanting to go to the opposite directions. And then there were some folks who were laying on the ground harvesting confetti. Do not lay on the ground in a crowd. Please.

And at some point I lost my friend. We were snapping each other, sending messages like 'where are you?' 'I'm at the main road. I'm holding my hand up' 'but you're small I can't see your hand' 'dammit I'll hold the flag up'. She brought a tiny pride flag and it kind of acted like a lighthouse at this point and I found my friend and we hugged. At this point people were STILL spilling in to the main stage so we decided it's best if we get away from there and discover the festival with our crappy one-day tickets.

Soo it's not a good thing to do at all but in order to be in the front row, we had to stay standing for 5 hours before the show started. I remember having a coffee and some kfc in the morning but that was it and it was like 8 pm. And tøp concerts tend to get very JUMPY and well it's a concert, it's exhausting (in a good way). So we looked for food. And some place to sit down, finally.

We didn't find any food. I mean we were surrounded by vendors but none of them were at a price us poor hungarian high schoolers could afford. So we decided to suck it up and I followed my friend wherever she wanted to go. Of course she wanted to go to the cavetown concert bc she still has energy for that???

So she led me to this grassy little field where people were sitting down and talking and there was a tiny ass stage and some guys were tuning in some guitars but my brain couldn't really process that information so i was like 'mmnice'. Then after some sitting and talking I remembered to call my dad because he was scared I might get kidnapped (?). I told my friend where I'm going. She nodded and stood up too with the rest of the people there and i STILL walked away, like a total oblivious dumbfuck.

I found a cool lil mattress next to some tents and the place looked quiet so I laid down on the mattress (trying not to think about what it was used for before me) and had a nice chat with my dad. Then I felt the ground moving under my feet due to Foo Fighters starting and I decided to go back to my friend.

Well I kinda bumped into a crowd. Naturally, I thought my friend was way ahead in the front bc she had a routine in this, I hadn't. And after I realised what kind of music Cavetown plays I also realised that 1) she'll be okay and 2) it's actually safe to sit down in the back. I was dead tired, I refused to jump. I rebelled at the world's chillest concert ever.

I'm already quite short so it doesn't make much of a difference - seeing shoulders or seeing legs. The people around me looked down, asking 'are you okay' and stuff and I was like yeah sure and then I had one of the best dissociating hours of my life. I remember Robbie commenting on Foo Fighters saying 'wow those guys are going really loud' and we were laughing because we were the loud ones like 2 hours ago. But now everything was like a soft fuzzy blanket of sound and everyone was friendly and there was no beer to be spilt on my head and nobody really cared about a young girl sitting down in the back row.

And then when the show ended I realised my friend was actually standing next to me all this time and she was the one asking if I'm okay. And we walked out of the festival, caught one of the last trains going home and we were just smiling. Not talking.

Weird, now to think about it. That day was all about seeing tøp. We put the yellow tapes on each other and she had lovely yellow makeup and we were so keen on telling EVERYONE we met that day that we're going to see our favorite band. And it was awesome. But I still remember Cavetown's show as the one I felt truly safe at. I don't know why. I just knew nobody will come dicking in to the crowd just because. Not to say anything wrong about tøp though. That was a traditional, blast-your-ears-off concert and I loved every minute of it, but the other one was just introvert heaven and exactly the thing I needed after that. They happened to happen at the right time, both of them, and I don't know who to say thanks for that but thank you, so, so, so much. Not to be cheesy - but that was the only day I felt truly happy that year.

And Cavetown is among my favorite artists now! Great!

That's all. I'm sorry if I bored anyone with this story, I just felt like telling it. I mean if you found it boring you wouldn't read this now soo...

Bye.

#story time #cavetown #moth monologue #twenty one pilots #tøp #duude i made a typo and accidentally typed tœ #this is genius level of tired

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thecorteztwins · 4 years ago

Note

I love how you care so much about obscure characters. Who is your favorite underrated female X-men character

Awww thank you! I love bringing them love, so it makes me really happy for you to say that! My absolute fave is Haven, but I read “faves” as plural so I wrote down a bunch...my faves can bounce around a bit but here’s a list of some of them! It’s under a cut because it’s long, I really like to explain who these gals are and why I like them so much! Warning, there is some description of pretty horrendous sexism and racism for some of these, since nothing makes me latch on to a woman harder than wanting to defend her from the SHITTY THINGS WRITERS DID TO HER! I kinda wrote novels for Haven and Madelyne, then I did links to previous things I’ve written about others. This is a LOT, I’m so sorry, I just love sharing!! Thank you for asking!!

THE BIG ONES Basically my consistent mega-faves I’m always ready to talk about! RADHA “HAVEN” DASTOOR - This lady has been at the top of my list for over five years and counting! She just really resonated with me on a deep level. She’s this mysterious woman who turns up in X-Factor for seven issues, and though she’s very benevolent towards them (even when they attack her) she is technically a villain, as she’s trying to destroy 3/4 of the world to bring about the Mahapralaya, a sort of Hindu apocalypse that will bring about an age of peace and end to suffering. So, her motives are very compassionate, and as it turns out, the horrible things she’s trying to do aren’t actually her fault. She’s being posessed by the Adversary, a demon of the highest order and an entity of cosmic evil. Or more specifically, her unborn child is. See, Haven was a really, really good woman. She was not a mutant, but she was sensitive to the pain and suffering of others from an early age, and she devoted her life to helping the poor and needy. She’s incredibly rich, so she could have helped just from afar, but instead she not only used her wealth to help others, she herself went out in the streets to attend to the poor and sick with her own hands. She bathed lepers, cradled dying babies, everything. She actually GOT the name “Haven” from a children’s hospital that she renovated, the kids started calling HER that instead. What a villain, huh? It all goes super wrong when she fell in love with a guy. After he took her virginity, he took off, leaving her pregnant. This was in 1970s India, and she was a very a religious woman, she felt INTENSE shame and horrible guilt and sunk into a deep depression, now living on the streets herself she was so broken. And then...then her fetus started talking to her. Yeah, see, technically she wasn’t posessed by the Adversary, her unborn child was. It incubated in her for twenty years, corrupting her mind, making her its pawn, all basically for its own amusement til it could be reborn into the world, killing her. And the guy who knocked her up? Got off scott-free. Basically she had sex ONE time and she had to be punished for it by being stripped of her agency, forced to betray everything she loved and believed, and then finally killed in the mud while a Marvel deity stood over and told her how she brought this on herself. It’s a slut-shaming Victorian morality tale of how no matter how good a person you are, you’re tainted forever if you violate purity culture just once, and we’re expected to AGREE with this narrative as readers. It’s sick. It gets even worse in how X-Factor treats her. She first appears RESCUING Polaris from government agents who are trying to kill her, because despite WORKING for the government at this time (X-Factor was a government team during this period) Polaris’s energy signature matched Magneto’s. Haven is the one who saved Polaris by teleporting her away. Polaris was distrustful and threatened Haven. Haven tried to talk her down, but also opened her arms and said that if Polaris truly did not believe her, then she would not resist. Polaris decided to “give trust a try” but I also truly believe that if Lorna had attacked her, Haven indeed would have let her. Haven is a human but the Adversary gave her INCREDIBLE power, she could WIPE PEOPLE FROM EXISTENCE by THINKING ABOUT IT, but she was a pacifist every step of the way, even as a villain. X-Factor would REPEATEDLY attack her later...she NEVER retaliated. The worst thing she did was, once they kept on attacking her, she just kinda put them in her pocket dimension as a time-out, but didn’t hurt them any. I really don’t think she COULD, possessed or not. Anyway, after meeting Lorna, she ‘ports Lorna back to safety and leaves her be. She is interested in recruiting Lorna and the rest of X-Factor to her cause, but she’s very moral about it, and never uses situations like these as leverage; for instance, when she heals Rahne of the Genoshan bonding process and gives her back her free will and her ability to resume her fully human form, Rahne is ECSTATIC and ready to do ANYTHING for her. And rather than exploit this, Haven just hugs her and tells her that her joy is thanks enough. Again, what a villain! Anyway, it turns out this Haven lady is also an activist! She’s big on promoting peace between warring groups (which I think makes it very significant that she’s an Indian character from Mumbai, then Bombay, who was created in 1992, the same year when Hindu/Muslim tensions in India resulted in the Bombay Bombings and subsequent riots, and she indeed mentions Hindu/Muslim tensions in her pro-peace speeches) and she emphasizes accepting MUTANTS in particular. It is very rare we see humans who are pro-mutant, though they had happened before, but this is the first time we see a human who is pro-mutant WITHOUT any affiliation or friendship with the X-men, and who is a public figure who seems to have some real social power---she’s a best-selling author, lecturer, and apparently her being a very wealthy woman has made some very wealthy people listen to her. She is basically the perfect ally for mutants if you take out the demon-possessed part, and I always found this super interesting and wish more had been done with it. So, she’s speaking at Brahma Hall (Brahma, notably, is the Hindu creator god) and...THIS happens. It’s...it’s really distressing. I’m sure it’s bad enough in its own time, but reading it NOW, in a post-9/11 world, a world where POC are routinely slaughtered by law enforcement (they always were but social media has made us more aware) it’s chilling. And we, the reader, are supposed to see X-Factor as JUSTIFIED in how they treat this unarmed, non-threatening, apparently-human-for-all-they-know woman who is promoting peace. Because no matter how nice she is, the US government says she’s an evil terrorist, and the US government turns out to be right! Yay, America! This might be a good time to mention Haven was the first Hindu character in X-Men comics, and the philosophy that the Adversary is manipulating her with comes directly from Hindu cosmology, and that is WAY IFFY to say THE LEAST. Holy xenophobia, Batman! And in an X-MEN comic of ALL PLACES! Oh yeah, and our good guys also describe her beliefs as “New Age psychobabble” and make fun of her temple decor as "very 60s" when BOTH ARE FROM HINDUISM, WHITE USA HIPPIES DID NOT INVENT IT, YOU IGNORANT SHITS So anyway, Haven’s very interesting to me as someone who is so deeply pacifistic and compassionate, that even when she’s being steered by a literal demon that has been talking in her womb for 20 years, she’s still someone who is perpetually polite, who won’t hurt the HEROES even when they want to hurt her, who SURRENDERS during a FIGHT in order to HEAL ONE OF THEM, and...who ends up with an abruptly aborted arc where she’s killed by her own “child” and victim-blamed in her last moments by Roma, the Omniversal Guardian Goddess and foe/counterpart of the Adversary. It’s made all the more tragic by the fact that Haven’s last pleas to Roma weren’t for herself, but for Roma to stop the Adversary, as she had realized now what her “child” really was. Even in her final moments, Haven was thinking of others, of the world. It’s just....awful to me that a character as interesting and unique as she was was thrown away like that, and that she was treated in such a sexist, racist, xenophobic way by both the HEROES and the story itself. I stan Haven 4 life. MADELYNE PRYOR- She’s maybe not “obscure” per se, I think most X-Men readers have a basic understanding of who she is, but the problem is that “basic” is not enough. What most people know is ”she’s Jean Grey’s evil clone” and some might know that “she was married to Scott Summers and went evil when he ditched her for Jean”. But that’s so far from the whole story, and it really does Madelyne a disservice, and canon has done her ENOUGH disservice already. Madelyne was originally created by Chris Claremont to truly be just a human woman who looked just like the dead Jean, with whom Scott would settle down and have a kid, and leave the X-Men. It’s a pretty nonsensical notion, the idea that this woman just happens to look exactly like Jean and meet Scott and fall in love, but this was his plan, he has confirmed it. And like...that’s pretty sexist from the start, in that she’s very literally created as a replacement for Jean on a narrative level, there’s NO REASON that she should have to look exactly like Scott’s dead ex besides as a way for Scott to still “get” Jean in a way. But Maddie rises above that swiftly by being a super strong, super cool character in her own right. She’s a pilot, she’s fearless, she’s adventurous, she’s got a mean right hook, and she’s got a tragic backstory when she crashed her plane and cost the lives of over three hundred passengers. She gets involved with Scott and by extension the X-Men, and she holds her own despite having no powers. Weird fact, this means that some of the X-Men, like Rogue, met Madelyne before they ever met Jean. She also gets a cool story where she gained healing powers, and the reason her powers specifically took the form of healing is because they were what she wanted them to be. She’s a good person, and also a total badass. Then, Jean came back, and the Powers That Be wanted her back together with Scott. But Scott was married to Madelyne. Rather than have them get a divorce or something, it was decided Madelyne had to be very literally demonized and then murdered, because we can’t just have two women co-exist, no, they must be divided into a “good” woman and a “bad” woman and fight over a man. Actual quote from Chris Claremont: “ Then, unfortunately, Jean was resurrected, Scott dumps his wife and kid and goes back to the old girlfriend. So it not only destroys Scott's character as a hero and as a decent human being it creates an untenable structural situation: what do we do with Madelyne and the kid? ... So ultimately the resolution was: turn her into the Goblin Queen and kill her off.” So, after something like EIGHT YEARS of being a character unto herself, Madelyne gets retconned as actually having been Jean’s clone all along! Which, okay, does make sense, certainly more sense than ‘this woman just happens to look EXACTLY like Jean and hook up with Jean’s ex” but then the REASON that Sinister cloned her...is nothing to do with Maddie or Jean themselves. Madelyne’s creation isn’t ABOUT her the way so many other clone/created-in-a-lab type stories are, like Laura Kinney. She wasn’t important. She was made literally just to have a baby with Scott, the BABY is what’s important. She is REPEATEDLY called a “brood mare” in fact (a female horse used specifically for breeding) So basically, her only value, her only REASON for existing, is her reproductive capacity. A lot of people think that Madelyne either found out she was a clone and went crazy-evil, or she went crazy-evil when Scott went back to Jean. That’s not what happened. Madelyne goes through a long, long series of arduous tragedies that piece by piece dehumanize and violate and traumatize her, and even then she doesn’t become evil until she’s TRICKED into being infected with demonic energy. Being “evil” was NEVER her choice, and everyone forgets that. See, first Scott walked out on her and the baby. Then, the Marauders attacked her, nearly killed her, and stole her baby and left her for dead in a coma for months. When she woke up, her baby was still missing, and she rejoined the X-Men to help them while they also helped search for her son. She sacrificed her LIFE alongside them to defeat the Adversary (yes, the same one Haven was pregnant with!) and then was resurrected with them too by Roma (yes, same Roma). She continued to work with the X-Men, despite the fact Scott had left her, and used her tech expertise to be the X-Men’s computer gal in Australia. When she saw X-Factor on one of the news monitors, including Scott with Jean, she realized why he’d abandoned her. She punched the screen and the explosion knocked her unconscious. While she was knocked out and dreaming, the demon Sym invaded her mind showed her a few different reflections of things she could be, one of which was a demonic reflection of herself. She chose that one, saying “What the heck, it’s only a dream.” And then Sym infected her with demonic energy. So she literally JUST found out her husband left her and their now-missing son for another woman, and she thinks she’s dreaming so yeah she picks the idea of being a demon IN THE CONTEXT OF A DREAM, A FUCKING FANTASY, WHEN SHE’S GOT EVERY RIGHT TO BE PISSED and oh well now you’re gonna be evil for real honey you don’t get a choice. Serves you right for being angry even for a moment, woman! But even then, she didn’t instantly turn evil. Horrible shit had already happened to her, but she still held out…so of course, more shit happened to her. While she and the X-Men were trying to help an escapee from Genosha (which was still enslaving mutants at that point) she ended up captured herself, and since their readings indicated she was not quite human (though what exactly she was, they didn’t know) they tried to put her through the “mutate bonding process” that would enslave her too. As a result, her latent psychic powers finally manifest, and she telekinetically explodes the place. From there, we start seeing big hints that something is going really wrong with Maddie, she seduces Havok and she’s entered into a secret bargain with the demon N’astrih, who promised to help her find her still-missing son (whom she still wanted to find and save at that point because she was still mostly herself) and of course, that bargain transformed her into the Goblyn Queen. After this transformation, though, she STILL had not gone past the point of no return. That didn’t happen until she met Sinister and she found out the truth of her origins—-not only was she a clone of Jean Grey physically, the few memories that she had also came from Jean, and her emotions from Scott had been PROGRAMMED into her (meaning she never had a choice at all in the man she loved) and it was all to be a brood mare, to produce a child with him. Only then did she go off the deep end completely, and agreed to N’astrih’s plan to sacrifice her own son (who he now found and gave to her, as this was his plan all along) because it was the absolute BIGGEST fuck you she could give to Sinister and to Cyclops. And like, yes, that’s evil, but given at that point she was not only magically infected/corrupted with demon energy AND insane with trauma that had been building up for months if not YEARS of development…she basically had a better excuse than ANYONE in all this who was also corrupted by Inferno. Yet she’s the one who doesn’t get a break. The unfairness is just…staggering, really. Even her death isn’t without indignity, violation, and depersonalization---she tries to commit a murder suicide, linking her mind with Jean’s and killing herself so that Jean will be dragged down into death with her. Jean, who really is the kindest to Maddie, urges Maddie to live instead, but Maddie’s last words are “not in the same world as you”. Jean survives. Maddie does not. And then...Jean takes Maddie’s memories and psyche into herself. It’s meant as beautiful, but to me it’s a heinous violation. Maddie wanted nothing more than be APART from Jean, so much so she KILLED HERSELF, and now Jean has made her a part of her forever, and we’re meant to applaud this? It’s DISGUSTING. Madelyne gets resurrected in the 1990s by Nate Grey, but it turns out that was an accident on his part, his mind was subconsciously seeking...Jean Grey, of course. And we he finds out he’s the one who brought her back to life, HE TRIES TO KILL HER. Jean stops him, but it’s no wonder to me that poor Maddie runs to the arms of Sebastian Shaw...who, of all people, actually treats her as an individual from the get-go and ends up being a pretty good boyfriend to her. Never even tries to use her in any evil schemes, it’s crazy. Madelyne has come back and died again and come back a few times since then, but she’s never really been “Maddie” again, whether it was brave adventurous Badass Normal pilot Maddie who just wanted to help people, or the bitter, conflicted, morally grey Maddie of the 90s. No, she’s just....she’s not even Goblyn Queen anymore, she lacks the pathos, she’s just this sexy evil misogynist caricature of herself and I hate it. I really love Madelyne Pryor. She came into this crazy world as a normal human, and when she got pulled into superhero shenanigans she held her own. She was a badass, she was a spitfire, she had a huge heart. She deserves a lot better than just being a gross Sexy Evil Lady with no personality, especially since she no longer has the whole “demonically possessed” issue going on. It’s just stupid and sexist at this point. I personally love original 80s Maddie, and also 90s Maddie where like...this shit has happened to her and she’s darker for it now, and understandably so, but she’s also still HER. Like, she leaves Sebastian Shaw not because he ever treated her badly, which he did not, but because he was doing things that could hurt OTHER PEOPLE, and that was where she drew the line. She was an enemy to the X-Men now or at least really hated them, she killed Threnody for bringing up her past as being “bred to breed”, but she also wasn’t about to be with a man who would risk the lives of millions of innocent people with his schemes, no matter how well he treated her, no matter if he was the one man who ever saw her for HER. Real Maddie is INTERESTING and Real Maddie is GOOD and I want Real Maddie back so she can call everyone on their shit and then go off and live her best life instead of being eternally dragged back into pointless villainy by authors who can’t think of anything better! MEGGAN PUCEANU - As with Madelyne, she’s maybe not UNKNOWN per se, I mean she’s one of the lead characters of Excalibur, but I also don’t think she’s an A-lister at all either. I’ve written about her HERE and HERE and her relationship dynamics with Brian Braddock/Captain Britain HERE so I feel like those links will probably be better than another novel like I did for Haven and Maddie! CATSEYE AKA SHARON SMITH - The deaths of all the Hellions were a tragedy, but Catseye is the one I found most interesting and with the most potential! I’ve written about her HERE and the Hellions in general HERE with a segment on her. She’s just so cute and innocent and INTERESTING, I want to know so much more about how she behaves, how she perceives the world and interact with others, how she gets on with her teammates, how she reacts this and that, I just love her! MINDMELD - Appears for only one issue, is arguably the first transgender mutant in Marvel, and also a total badass who I think is really sexy. I write more about her HERE and HERE. HONORABLE MENTIONS I’m not freaking out over these girls AS MUCH or AS CONSISTENTLY but they all have a place in my heart!! Really all it takes is someone MENTIONING them to get me revved up all over again!

THRENODY AKA MELODY JACOBS- Another Marvel gal who can’t catch a break, when she’s remembered by anyone at all. I wrote about her HERE prior to her most recent return in Deadpool, then HERE about said return. I just really, really want Threnody to be happy. She’s suffered enough. Admittedly, that could be said for most women on this list, maybe all of them. GOSAMYR- Wrote about her HERE! Most people who know of her at all typically hate her but I find her extremely interesting. She’s like everything people HATE about women, every stereotype of “toxic femininity”, but then this is explained as part of her culture and biology, and this is, to her, what is normal, and how is she to KNOW that everyone acts nuts around her when she has no basis for knowing how they act when she’s NOT around? She interests me in the questions and dilemmas she raises, and I just kinda have a thing for women we’re supposed to hate because of their feminine traits. KWANNON- The Japanese woman whose body Betsy Braddock had for years. I was very excited when she was brought back to life and given her own series, I wanted for her at last to be a CHARACTER with her own PERSONALITY and LIFE that wasn’t just an excuse to give a white woman a ninja makeover, and then I got...Fallen Angels. And she’s just...she’s literally just 90s Psylocke. I was very disappointed. But I still like Kwannon HERSELF in terms of potential, and now that she’s back maybe she’ll become a real person sooner or later. SATURNYNE AND SAT-YR-9: Wrote about them HERE! I really like Sat-Yr-9 as a villain (I especially enjoyed her short stint in the Hellfire Club as White Queen with Viper as her lieutenant and not-so-subtle girlfriend) and I like Saturnyne as a sort of celestial bureaucrat, someone who isn’t a force of good or evil but a force of ORDER, like the opposite of “embodiment of chaos” type characters. MURMUR AKA ARLETTE TRUFFEAU: I have not written about her before but HERE IS HER WIKI ARTICLE. As with Gossamyr, she seems like the “sexy shallow slut we’re supposed to dislike” type, so of course I like her. BIANCA LANEIGE- A Generation X villain who bore a grudge against Emma Frost from her days in the Hellfire Club, I wrote about her HERE. She’s pretty comedic as a bad guy, but that’s not a bad thing! I’d like to see her around again one day, either as silly as ever or made more serious. LIFEGUARD: Wrote about here HERE. She was in the first X-Men graphic novel that I bought and I’ve always had a soft spot for her since. I really liked that she didn’t give a shit when she found out who her bio-father was, it’s such a refreshing reaction compared to the usual “what if I’m just like my father/I can’t believe I’m adopted/etc” angst. Comparatively, she’s super upset about her Shi’ar lineage, because that actually altered her INTERNAL self when it manifested, she started seeing everyone around her as PREY and I reckon that’s pretty distressing for someone like her. Always wanted to see her come back; she’s in the background at a Krakoa party! SILHOUETTE CHORD: Wrote about her HERE and HERE. I just like her I guess! She’s maybe not obscure per se since she’s a main cast member of The New Warriors, but I’ve never really seen her get any attention. BLACK MAMBA AKA TANYA SEALY: Wrote about her HERE! THE ASP AKA CLEOPATRA NEFERTITI: Wrote about her HERE! SKEIN AKA SYBIL DVORAK: Wrote about her HERE and HERE! She was on the “Woman Warriors” team with Black Mamba and Asp, and I like the idea they just hang out as friends a lot!! ANACONDA AKA BLANCHE “BLONDIE” SITZINSKI: Wrote about her HERE! I just want her to hug me...really, really hard :) SHARADA DARTHRI: A minor villain that shows up during the “all female X-Men” team era in...2013, I think? Wrote about her HERE. DRAGONFLY AKA VERONICA DULTRY: Wrote about her HERE MANTIS : Despite the fact that she’s very well-known for her film version in Guardians of the Galaxy, most people don’t seem to know much at all about her comics version even though she’s been an Avengers member since the 70s. Wrote about her HERE and HERE and HERE, someone else writes about her HERE PENDING These are characters that I have not had the chance to personally read up on myself yet, but I want to! Their names link to their Marvel wiki articles! TOPAZ FIREBIRD SNOWBIRD SILVERCLAW There are honestly countless others I’m probably not remembering but this is a good handful I think! Oh, yeah, and also...COOTER. Because her name is COOTER oh my god.

#xmen #marvel #marvel women #x men women #women of marvel #x women #out of cortez

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santalsaburablog · 4 years ago

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Adventures of Santal. Chapter 5: First Lesson

Only a well-earned lesson is beneficial.

Corellia! A temperate Core Worlds planet of rolling hills, dense forests, lush meadows and deep seas, renowned for its fast, rugged starships and talented pilots. It was there, by the decision of the Jedi Council, that Master Yoda went on a diplomatic mission. And at this time a very interesting announcement appeared in Goloseti.

Cad Bane sat quietly in a bar chair, chewing on a toothpick. The last order from the Syndicate of Rations was not so difficult. Steal a valuable thing. Of course, there were murders. So what? How many times has he done this kind of thing? Can't count it anymore. So it's a matter of everyday life. Suddenly, the datapad beeped.

- What's the matter? - asked the duros, receiving the drink.

“A new order has just arrived,” the bartender replied.

Excellent. So, it turns out that no one has tackled it yet. But he will do it!

- Give it to me. The man pulled out the datapad. From a distance everything is as it should be. Heading in big letters, everything else in small letters. Photo after the title.

As soon as Bane saw the photo, he almost choked. This is the SAME GIRL! Well, exactly. The text itself was like this:

�� THE GIRL IS LOST.

Name is Santal Sabura. Age 3.5 years. An orphan. Kala'uun city, planet Ryloth. Signs: cold brown hair, braided in two tails, brown eyes, honey shade. The physique is normal. Clothes: white nightdress, brown shoes. Uncle and aunt are very worried. There is a suspicion that the child was stolen. Call XXXXXXXX. Please provide any information. Need help from volunteers. HELP TO FIND A CHILD!

That's all. But Bane was wary of something. He read the ad again and noticed that there was not a word about the reward. Why Most likely, one of two things: they forgot to write or the return is free. In any case, it is necessary to clarify. Moreover, he had already seen the girl.

The call was answered five seconds later.

- Yes! I am listening to you! Speak quickly! Did you learn anything ?! - answered a middle-aged female voice and, apparently, was on the verge of hysteria.

- Hello. I am about your announcement. I would like to get down to business. Find your niece. “Cad always tried to be polite, courteous and helpful when talking to a client.

But all the same it was unpleasant for him to listen to the voice of this woman.

- Oh, thank you! Noby, did you hear? - the woman screamed with joy. She was answered in a muffled tone.

“I just wanted to clarify the amount of the reward,” the duros asked, just as politely.

- What? The woman changed her tone to suspicious. - I heard right? Did you ask about the reward? Who are you anyway?

- Yes. I'm a bounty hunter.

Bane was rudely interrupted:

- Well, you must. For some reason I didn't even doubt. How dare you ?! Scum! Demand money for the return of our only treasure! Impudent! Monster! Bandit! Don't even dare try to search! For someone like you, a place in prison! Our niece is priceless. Returns FREE! Got it ?! IS FREE! And don't you dare call anymore! Rubbish! Don't you dare touch Santal!

Cad stopped the stream of curses at him with a banal press of the call end button.

What a woman! Bane was amazed. He doesn't like his nephew. It's a pity for money. However, she may not be rich. So what? Those who value their children will get out of their skin and collect a large sum. So the Duros thought. Crazy woman. Immediately visible.

The man exhaled and left the bar, leaving the drink unfinished and the datapad on the table. Nothing. He will have many more customers and generous fees in his life. You just have to be patient.

- Santal Sabura. - Duros decided to test the name not only with his eyes and by ear, but also with his tongue.

San tal. Well, they came up with a name for the child. Couldn't it have been better? Sounds ringing somehow. And it tastes like steel and at the same time a cake. Exactly!

But here's what's strange. If before that he did not pay much attention, now he looked closely at the photo and ... This silly thing reminded him of someone. But who? Unclear. The Duros have always been famous for their eidetic memory, and Cad was no exception, but he still couldn't remember. In the end, he killed as many people as he crossed paths with. And he is already twenty-six years old.

Well, okay. What is this little fellow from Ryloth to him? For this he does not work. He shouldn't worry about her. And the Duros had no desire to get involved with this hysterical woman in the future. No wonder her niece ran away from her. So he even just did her a favor, and she should be grateful to him.

And indeed, very quickly the thoughts of the girl disappeared from my head completely.

***

Elina's nostrils almost emitted steam from rage, like an angry animal. At that moment, Nobi ran into the room.

- Honey, what happened? I heard you screaming. And what are you doing?

The Letan was about to drop her comlink on the floor and crush it, but her husband snatched it out of her hands in time.

- I am angry! That's what! Literally just now some degenerate called and asked about the reward! Well, we agreed.

- Of course, we agreed. Who was that? Not an hour a mercenary?

- Sure. Or a bounty hunter. No difference. All the same degenerates. And this is clearly a bastard. You don't have to look at him to understand this. I suppose my father is a great alcoholic. And my mother died begging on the street. Or in general it was easy behavior.

- What are you…

- And how? I was told, and I think so myself: bounty hunters are the most vile scum. Dregs of society. The lowest category.

Nobi didn't argue because he agreed. Then the couple sat down on the sofa and began to pray that everything was in order and Santal was found, returned home and never met the idiot with whom Elina had just talked.

***

- Hello, child.

Santal looked around until she found the owner of the voice. It was ... an animal. A very unusual talking animal of green color and funny ears. The tip of one was sticking up, the other - down. There are wrinkles on the forehead. In the hands of a cane. And he himself is about the same height as Santal. Or a little less.

“Hello,” Santal answered timidly. And this slight fear did not hide from the interlocutor.

- Are you afraid, I see.

- Yes. You're right. I have never met anyone like you before.

Santal was indeed a little scared. Another unusual creature, only very small this time. But even though this ... animal - although what an animal he is, he's in good clothes - and not as tall as the uncle, this does not mean that he cannot do harm.

- Haven't met, hmm? - The animal examined the girl from head to toe. - In a nightgown, I see you. - And he chuckled, stating the fact.

Santal was embarrassed, not knowing what to say. But, fortunately, green somehow felt it and helped:

- Who are you? Where are you going?

- Well, I'm in a hurry. On Ryloth, the girl replied.

- Your planet is far away. How did you get here?

- It's not my fault! - Santal exclaimed hotly and began to tell from the very beginning.

The only lie in her story was that the uncle was wearing a mask, not a hat. And she kept silent about the moment with vomiting. Sabura did not want to betray the man. Although she did not give her word to him, she did give her word to herself. And somehow it turned out illogical. She swore to him so loudly that she would not tell, and then - on you! Tells the green creature everything. Santal thought it was wrong. She's decent and honest. She must confirm her intentions in practice.

- Hmm. - The animal put its paw with three fingers to the chin. “I can help you, child. What's your name?

- I am Santal Sabura. Sorry for not introducing myself right away. - The girl even bowed slightly.

The animal nodded in understanding, and then said this, which made the daughter of the Jedi stunned:

- I feel that you are not deprived of the Power.

Santal blinked her eyes.

- What is it?

- Strength is an endless mystery. She is everywhere. Surrounds and pervades us. Ties the galaxy together. And in you she is strong enough. - Zeleny smiled.

- Enough for what?

- Enough to be able to become a Jedi.

- That is, the guardian of the world? My aunt told me.

- Yes. Master Yoda I. Pleased to meet you. - The newly made acquaintance slightly bowed his head.

- I am glad, too. - Santal repeated the movement, slowly getting rid of a slight fright.

- So you agree?

- I dont know. “The girl really didn't know what to do.

On the one hand, I really wanted to go home. Finally! On the other hand, the prospect of becoming a Jedi, like her parents, fascinated her. Santal, without knowing it, found herself at a crossroads. Left - a chance to return to family and old life. On the right - the opportunity to start from scratch, learn a lot. There is a chance to find out the truth about parents, to get a profession right now. They say that such opportunities are not given every day, and, perhaps, there is only one attempt. You will go to one side, you will not go to the other. The girl somehow understood this.

Seeing that the baby hesitated, Yoda invited her to walk with him. And Santal went. During the walk, green told the girl what the Jedi were doing: they selflessly help, keep the peace. They follow the path of spiritual and physical improvement. Jedi are the protectors of peace in the galaxy. They use their powers to guard and defend — never to attack others. The Jedi respect every life, in every form, serve others rather than dominate them for the good of the galaxy. They strive for self-improvement through knowledge and training. I spoke a little about midi-chlorians. The more there are, the more sensitive you are to the Force.

- How many of them do I have?

- We can find out.

Yoda took out some kind of device and asked for a finger. Santal reacted calmly because she was already going through it. Even in a dream.

- About fourteen to fifteen thousand you have.

- A lot of.

“More than enough to become a Jedi.

- And how much midichlorivan do you need to feel?

“Midichlorian,” Yoda corrected. - Eight to nine thousand.

- By the way, I just wanted to ask. From early childhood, I constantly feel something. For example, it seemed to me that something would happen. Or felt someone's presence. As if someone is directing me, indicating what to do. Exactly this way and nothing else. Does it work, does the Force tell me?

- Yes. Strong, it seems, is your connection with her. This is good, but it can also be dangerous as the future is in constant flux. Choose your path wisely.

- And I often have dreams. Scary and not.

- Another sign of a stronger connection with the Force.

- I.e…

“If you want to know more, you better become a Jedi.

- Then I agree! - Now Santal was able to make a decision.

- Are you sure, m? The path of a Jedi is not easy and lasts a lifetime. To become a Jedi requires a keen mind and deep commitment to the cause of the Order. Live by the Code. It means entering on this path by dedicating your life to serving the ideals that we sacredly honor.

Only the girl got rid of old doubts, so now they have been replaced by new ones. What to do?

“I agree anyway,” Santal said firmly, although inwardly she continued to worry.

- Let's go then.

The Green Jedi and his companion boarded the ship. In size, it was much smaller than the previous two, in which Santal traveled. They took off.

- Where are we flying?

- To Coruscant. To the Temple that will become your home.

Yoda, while still on Coruscant, sensed that there was some kind of Force surge on the planet Corellia. There was something there. Something powerful. And this "something" was a little girl. She looks three or four years old, but it is already felt that the Power is great in her. Such a child cannot be in bad hands. Fortunately, Santal herself is not averse to becoming a Jedi. There are simply doubts. She also said about some dreams. The Force must be trying to warn Santal about something. Most likely, these are Visions. And they cannot be ignored. But the girl finds out about it later. Now we must not frighten her, but take her to the Temple for training, put her in order, enroll in the Order.

The girl did not know what Yoda was thinking, but she was worried anyway. Not only because of ignorance, but in general. Suddenly this green one - the same as that uncle, wants to sell and lures. Moreover, the method is very interesting and effective.

At that moment it sounded. Yoda took the call. Later it turned out that the green should fly to Alderaan, which Santal mistakenly called "Aldevran". And then to Naboo. Why, she didn't know. But I decided, just in case, that there was nothing wrong with that.

During the flight, Sabura learned even more about the world around her. So she found out that she met with Yoda on the planet Corellia. I walked around the capital of Coronet, visited a place called Golden Beaches. Played in the sea and lay in the sand. And she came to this planet on a Rodian ship. That thing attached to the hunter's thigh is a blaster. And this is not a complete list of what the girl learned.

Once in the blue space, Yoda warned that he would fly now to Alderaan, then to Naboo. At the first stop, Santal thought she would stay next to the ship and wait for Yoda to do everything. The girl did not feel very well due to the fact that she did not immediately get to Coruscant. What if it's a trap, and green is another crook, like uncle, if not worse? And Santal still hasn’t decided whether she needs it or not. Maybe still go home to your aunt?

On Alderaan, the family needed help. Yoda left Santal with a woman who at first complained about why it was late, but when she saw the little girl and what state she was in, she took pity, took her to the kitchen, gave him blue milk, put three plates with a bunch of food on the table, and then sat down to eat. Sabura ate and ate everything, so some boy, probably a son, wondered how hungry the girl was.

Then Yoda returned with the boy, like two peas in a pod, similar to the first. The woman rushed to hug and kiss the child, thanked him. And the duo went to Naboo. There Santal was waiting for a small excursion to the local beauties, and that was all. No stupid adventures.

And now, when they gathered in the capital of the Republic, Yoda's room rang. Devaron has problems with bandits. And the green one agreed to help. Just because he wanted to, Santal decided.

To say that it was bad on the planet is to say nothing. Screams, panic, and some animals with fangs and claws on two legs were running around with weapons. More with tails.

It was then that Sabura first saw the Jedi in action. Yoda turned into a green spot, endlessly jumping and twirling with a strange thing with a long green, like himself, end. How clever he is, the girl was surprised. And seemingly not young.

Finally it was over. And it could have happened earlier, if the animals responded to the request to surrender. And as for Yoda, he managed to please Santal just for this proposal:

“You'd better surrender.

The animals were taken away somewhere.

“It's time for you to go home,” said the green one. Sabura nodded.

But halfway to the ship, the girl had a premonition. And indeed, when Santal decided to turn around, tired of being nervous, she realized that Yoda had overlooked one animal after all. Only the fanged one raised his weapon, Santal shouted automatically:

- No! - She stretched her arms in front of her, and the beast flew to the side.

The girl looked at her palms in horror. Everything is just like in a dream! Only the heroes are different.

“We forgot one,” Yoda chuckled.

Then they dragged this one where it was necessary. And the green one asked:

- Well, what have you decided?

“I've been thinking all the time,” Santal began. It seemed to her that there was no need to answer in one word. - At first I was afraid. Total. If I can become a Jedi, well, that is, I have what it takes. Will you succeed? What will your aunt say? What's in store for me? What if I don't succeed and I become a laughing stock? Maybe I don't belong there? But now, after what just happened ... I stopped the enemy without weapons. No anger. Do you understand, yes? And I, it turns out, used the Force?

Yoda nodded.

- If this is how I can, then it would be better for me to learn how to manage such power so as not to harm anyone. What else can I do mechanically? Mali what else could happen? So I decided. I will go to the Order and study to be a Jedi. My parents will be proud of me. I feel it. And my aunt ... I hope she understands.

“In that case, according to etiquette, call me Master. - The corners of the green lips crept upward. And he himself bowed slightly.

- Okay, Master. - Santal easily agreed. Yes, and my soul became easier.

- Time to the Temple, youngling Sabura.

When they took off, the girl seriously thought. What lessons did she learn over the entire period?

Don't walk the streets alone at night. Do not let your guard down. Sometimes you have to take something without asking. Some people don't like being spied on. Do not taste drinks that you do not know, otherwise you will vomit. Some are not moved by any pleading. To be honest, Santal wanted to be so hard herself. If you help someone just like that, without expecting gratitude, that someone will want to help in return.

The sea on the planet Corellia is the best thing in the world. And she will come back here someday. And in general, traveling is very cool! Just recently I was in such a whirlwind and now I am not against repetition. Not right now, but later.

Whatever the beast looks like, you don't take his word for it. We need to check. It is very important. She's calm about Yoda now. He will not deceive her. He's a Jedi.

And uncle? What about him? Where is he? Does he think about her? Probably not. Well, let. She's thinking about him now. Santal had clearly decided that if she was ever destined to meet him again, she would certainly teach him a lesson. Need to punish the hatter, teach him a lesson. Show that it is useless to hurt little girls. Even if everything ended well for her, but still ... it is necessary. Really needed. The main thing is not to forget about your desire.

And completely confident, Santal walked alongside Yoda, leaning on a cane, to the ship, whose final stop was Coruscant. Towards destiny.

By the way, the daughter of the Jedi made another conclusion for herself. The main conclusion. Only now did she realize that the rules must be followed. You don't love, you don't want to, you are lazy or not lazy, but you have to live by the rules. This is the law. Otherwise, you can get into such a story that you don't recognize your own. Therefore, on that day, Santal Sabura took an oath that she would always observe and honor all laws, rules, regulations, codes and so on. Until a ripe old age.

#cad bane #cad bane x oc

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comicsnas · 5 years ago

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showtime

WARNING: eye gore!!, violence Disclaimer: this is..... an au where guy fieri isnt a cool and chill dude that just likes food. i am very sorry for what i do to him in this. i dont mean it and if the cops knock at my door i will blame it on hussie word count: about 3.7k. i am so sorry

context john gets kidnapped by his mom dave doesnt panic

Los Angeles, CA, Wednesday

“No matter what happens, nobody cancels the premiere,” you say. “Okay? No matter what’s in the news. No matter how bad it gets. The movie drops on Thursday, and people are gonna watch it. Got it? This is a scare tactic and we’re not falling for it. Even if the world is ending, we are premiering this movie and going through with the promo. With or without me.”

Catalena, your manager, has been with you for too long to think that you’re joking. She was who flew you in from Houston to LA back when you were twenty, who let you sleep on your couch until you made enough money to get an apartment, who thought that the message you had for the world was one worthy of her help. She knows that all of this is real, and that she can’t stop you.

Her face says, Dave, you’re scaring me. Her mouth says, “You got it. Could you at least tell me… what you think is going to be in the news that would make us not premiere it?”

“Something bad,” you say. “Hopefully, anyway.”

She tilts her head. “Are you faking your death?”

“Lalonde and I are gonna disappear for a sec,” you say. “How people interpret that is gonna be up to them.”

“Not like you to leave things up to chance,” Catalena says. “Some will think it’s elaborate PR.”

“That’s why I’m only telling you. Lalonde and I are gonna frame this to look serious, and no one else is gonna know what’s going on. You keep your cool, but don’t let anyone know that you’re in on it.”

“I mean, I barely am.” She gives you a Look, a capital L Look, then sighs and nods. “Fine. So if I hear about your presumed death tomorrow, I won’t freak out. At what point am I allowed to assume you are actually dead, and freak out a little bit?”

“If you don’t hear from me in a week,” you say, “then Lalonde and I have been killed by Betty Crocker.”

Houston, TX, twelve years ago

You’re blind.

That’s not true. You’re not blind. You don’t think you are going to be blind. There is no way that you’re fully blind, because the assassin only got your right eye, so it doesn’t make sense for you to be blind, but you’re blind.

The pain might originate from your right eye, but it’s engulfing your entire head by now, and there is something sticky in your left eye and you can’t open it anymore and it burns, and you’re going to go blind, and then you’re going to die in a ditch, in a pool of your own blood, and this is it. It’s over. You and your half sister fucked around on the internet a bunch, got really deep into some conspiracy theories, and barely two weeks after you made the discovery that Betty Crocker definitely, undoubtedly, literally is an actual alien, someone was sent to kill you.

They didn’t manage, so far. They got your eye, and they broke your glasses, leaving a cut on your nose, and a bunch of cuts everywhere else, and you think you cracked your head open when you fell. But you cut their knife hand off, good and clean off, watched it fall to the ground right in front of you. By the time it hit the pavement, the assassin had already turned around and ran away, leaving you to crumple and suffer here by yourself.

This is it.

“Strider?” Rose says. Before the blood trickling into your good eye ruined your vision, you managed to dial her number and call her up, and now you’re lying on your side with your phone pressed to your ear, imagining her in her college dorm room in New York. You were going to visit her there, years ago, after you ran away from your parents. It never worked out. Neither of you has the money. You really wish you could have seen her at least once.

“Yeah,” you croak. “You at home?”

“At the dorm, yes. What’s going on?”

“You gotta go. She sent someone after me, she’s gonna come for you too. If she knows that I know, she’ll know that you know.”

One of the most comfortable parts of friendship with Rose, you’ve found, is that she never asks you to clarify what the fuck you’re talking about. Either she just lets you ramble, or she knows exactly what you mean. “Shit,” she hisses, and you can hear rustling on her side of the line, hopefully from her getting ready. She probably has a getaway bag somewhere, you think. You have one, but not on you right now. It’s too late for that.

“They’ve already hit me, so whoever she sent to you can’t be far,” you say. You try to blink your eye open, but then it hurts the other more, and it burns. You can’t even tell where exactly. It just burns. “Hurry up, Lalonde.”

“They’ve hit you?” she echoes, still rustling, breathing into the phone. On the move. Good. “Are you okay?”

“No,” you say. “Gonna call an ambulance after this. Just get the fuck out and text me later, yeah?”

Rose pauses. You can hear her pause, you can hear everything go very silent for a second. She says, “You called me before you called for help?”

“Yeah,” you say. She told you, once, that there is a quick and easy way out the window of her second-storey dorm room, that lets her balance over to her girlfriend’s room only a few windows ahead. She can’t hide there, it’s too close, but it’s a start. She’ll figure it out, she always will. She was the first person to ever have your back. “Of course I did.”

On a plane, Thursday morning

“What’s on your mind?” Rose asks.

You’re leaned back, staring out the window, listening to the clicking of her knitting needles next to you. The pilot here doesn’t know who he’s dealing with, just that he is flying two rich people and their car to Washington, DC. Your Mustang is in the cargo part of the plane, a vital part of the plan. You’ll torch it later. It was the first car you bought with your own money, after SBaHJ had become big and you had finally paid off your hospital debt.

Rose’s apartment isn’t that old, she got it after Roxy was born and she decided to move to Los Angeles, so you could help each other babysit. Trashing it still felt wrong. A home is a home, but you wanted it to look broken into, to make sure that people put two and two together. This isn’t a Dave Strider marketing scheme, you both got hit. After all the work that you’ve done, at least some of the public should understand what that means.

“Us,” you say.

“That’s very sentimental,” she says. “Are you sure you aren’t mourning your car again?”

“Shut up,” you say, and blindly swat at her, hitting her elbow. She hits you back, hand slapping your shoulder. “It’s a good car.”

Rose hums. When you look at her, she’s already back to knitting. You have no idea what she’s making, but it looks like a onesie for an octopus. “We will be fine,” she says. “We have to.”

You nod, and go back to staring out the window, thinking about what Alma said. “It’s just,” you say quietly. “We gotta start thinking about the endgame, here, don’t we.”

“Start?” Rose echoes. “Dave, we know the endgame to this. We’ve known for a while. The second you landed in the hospital with a cut inside your eyeball, you and I both knew that this would end in death.”

You don’t say anything. She’s right, of course she is. You knew then, and she knew, as soon as you texted her from your hospital bed, and she texted you back from a Greyhound bus. And you tried to forget, you both did, for a very long time. You almost managed, for a whole decade, until last year, someone made you scared and angry enough to ram a sword through his throat. Until Rose came and disassembled the body on your rooftop, and then helped you burn it. Reality has caught up with you, and someone is going to die.

The clicking of her needles has stopped again. You turn your head to look at her, and she’s looking back at you, and her face seems younger than it should be. She is just as scared as you are. Neither of you ever wanted it to go this far. Neither of you wanted to kill.

“I don’t like it either,” Rose says. “But someone is going to wind up dead, and it sure as shit isn’t gonna be us.”

Washington, DC, now

)(IC: u comin or what TG: yeah about that

You’re on the hood of your car. The children -- and Sally, John’s pet hedgehog -- are with the one sitter you still trust. Rose is in position, which means she is at a remote location outside the city holding Guy Fieri hostage. She has sent you a picture of him tied to a chair and gagged, which means that it’s go time.

All according to plan.

TG: how about you come kill me somewhere else instead of home sweet home )(IC: why would i do that TG: dying mans last request? )(IC: stfu lol this is so obviously a trap TG: wow ok so is yours )(IC: fair TG: just thought that you know TG: john means something to both of us and dont try to tell me no because i know he does TG: so like can we maybe duke it out somewhere where i wont accidentally blow him to smithereens TG: innuendo intended )(IC: UG)( )(IC: gross TG: lmao TG: anyway bethany you know me and you know im comin with c4 in my backpack if im comin TG: do you really want that around your son or can you just get off your ass and meet me here so john stays safe )(IC: u reely think ya have a fighting chance to even get that far )(IC: buoy you set one foot in my house and ya get spearfished TG: yeah not really making a great point for me to come there rn TG: just thought maybe youd wanna be with your guy guy )(IC: who TG: you know TG: guy the guy )(IC: tf

You text her the picture that Rose sent, just Guy Fieri looking miserable, no indication of whether or not you or Rose are with him.

)(IC: )(-EY )(IC: motherglubber what do u think yoar doin TG: yoar??? TG: thats literally not a word. wym you oar?? what TG: anyway im gonna dismember this asshole if you dont agree to keep john safe and come here and im gonna start with the frosted tips )(IC: FIN--E )(IC: cant effin wait to be done with you )(IC: ill come krill ya if its so shrimportant just gimme the location TG: ok shrimportant is actually pretty funny TG: [coordinates] TG: see you soon

She drives a fuchsia Jaguar that looks like Xzibit threw up all over it, because of course she does. You watch it leave from your perch on your Mustang, then slide off the hood. shes gone, you text Rose. get ready to bounce

Before you leave, you turn back toward you car, and gently pat the roof. “See you soon,” you repeat, “for one last ride.”

Look, it’s a good car, alright.

Later on in the plan, once you’ve convinced John to come with you, and Rose has joined you in the no doubt brutal course out of the house littered with security guards, the three of you will pack into this car, and you will drive. You will be tailed, you know you will. Rose and you estimate two to three SUVs with more security personnel that will follow you, and sooner or later, you won’t stand a chance against them.

So, you’ll call the cops. You don’t usually do this -- even during all these years, neither you nor Crocker ever called the police on each other, and technically, you still won’t, today. You will just anonymously call authorities, and tell them about a burning car by the side of the road. Then you will hang up, and you and Rose and John will hop out of a moving vehicle as you crash your beloved Mustang and have it go up in flames. Authorities will come and find Dave Strider’s infamous car, and hopefully that’ll get people talking.

Crocker’s guys will hopefully exit their cars and go looking for you, or at least for John. It’s an easy con from there -- while they look, you will steal their SUVs and drive off toward your safehouses. Simple. No sweat.

“This better work,” you mutter to yourself, then leave your car behind and start climbing the fence around Crocker manor.

You’ve been here once before, while she was out and John was showing you around. You weren’t actively trying to case the place back then, just spending time with your boyfriend and checking out where he grew up, but you couldn’t help how curious you were. You still remember the most important spots, and you did your best to paint a proper picture of them to Rose (you drew a map in MS Paint), so now you have a pretty good idea of where you need to go.

The guard posts, of course, are randomized. You’ll have to take these as they come, and you feel prepared enough, with just your sword and a handful of knives. You’re wearing the kevlar you wore to the Oscars. You’re gonna be fine.

It’s a race against time now, knowing that there is no guarantee when Crocker will be catching on and returning to her house, and knowing that you stand no chance actually fighting her face to face. You climbed in toward the side of the house, because it’s the shortest distance between fence and wall. The front and back yards are ridiculously huge and opulent, and while you would have plenty of gaudy statues to hide behind, you’re not looking to make your way through there.

The first guard spots you right as you hop down off the fence, and your knife is in his shoulder before he even finishes drawing his gun on you. He’s also wearing a vest, but those don’t stop blades, and you take offense in knowing that she made them dress up like that. As if either you or Rose were going to show up with guns. She really doesn’t know you at all. You knock out the guard with a hit of the knife grip against his temple. Maybe you can get through this without deaths.

One of them you comfortably take out from behind a useless fountain placed in this part of the garden for some reason, appreciating how quiet and low-key you can be about it so far. The bigger the ruckus, the sooner she’ll return, so having them all go down in silence is your best case scenario.

It’s the third guard that ruins your track record. You’re almost at the house wall, and you know you’re under the right window, which means all you have to do is scale it and climb right into John’s room, but for that to work you need to have a clean path behind you. Which you don’t, you realize the second a bullet hits your back.

Your vest catches it, but the momentum still knocks you down, and you scrape both of your palms open on the weird break between lawn and pavement. You hate this fucking garden. Who lives like this? You’re gasping for breath and trying not to inhale any grass, dealing with the reality that this is the first time someone has shot at you and actually hit you, and the bullet might not have penetrated skin at all, but Jesus Fucking Christ it still feels awful. Like someone kicked you in the spine, only with a bullet instead of a foot.

Onward. You hear footsteps behind you, and now it’s your turn to kick, hitting them in the face with your boot in the same motion that you’re pushing yourself up from the ground. As they curse and stumble, you draw your sword, but they catch their footing quickly, and you know you only have a split second to act. That gun is pointing at you, again, or still, and they’re going for your head this time, and if you don’t fight now, the journey ends for you here. Someone is going to die, and it sure as shit can’t be you. Your arm darts forward.

The sword goes through their vest, their ribs, and their heart -- you wouldn’t call it smoothly, you really wouldn’t. You can feel resistance with every inch, you feel it right up to your shoulder, and you hate it, and it makes you want to throw up, but you can’t, now. You shove them off your blade and watch them crumple to the ground, and turn right back toward the wall. They are not getting up again. That’s on you, and you can deal with that later. You have to get moving.

Your phone vibrates.

You manage to pull yourself up on a balcony and crouch there, hiding from whatever is going on in the yard now. Other guards must have heard the shot being fired, so you really need to get the fuck out of sight, but this has to do, for now. If Crocker is messaging you, you have to respond, so she doesn’t think you’re in her goddamn garden.

)(IC: yo )(IC: send me proof yoar still with him )(IC: almost there this betta be worth it TG: one sec

As expected. All according to plan, so far. You hope the blood on your sword won’t make the sheath sticky. You’ll have to clean it, later. You don’t want to.

TG: shes asking for proof TG: go ahead. sorry TT: No worries. TT: I know we don’t endorse violence, but honestly, Dawon, after being in a room with him for this long, I am quite happy to do this.

She sends you a picture, and you grimace at your phone. It takes a lot to make you grimace, as a Strider born and raised -- at the same time, you’re not easily shocked or grossed out, but this isn’t great to look at. Fieri’s eye has been pulled from its socket, dangling down his cheek suspended from the nerve, a hole in the eyeball. You hope Crocker won’t be able to tell that this was done with a knitting needle, and forward the photo to her.

TG: hows this )(IC: )(--EY FUCK OFF )(IC: stop i reely like guy 38( TG: yeah well i really like john TG: eye for an eye TG: hurry it up im waiting and theres a second eye to gauge out )(IC: ten minutes )(IC: ur gonna be so sorry buoy

TG: 10 mins TT: On my way.

Okay. Crocker is on her way to a location where there will only be Guy Fieri and a set of elaborate boobytraps which you know won’t kill her, but hopefully slow her down. Rose is on her way here, to help you and John get out of here. That’s plenty of time you still have. Things are going suspiciously well, you think, before you remember the ache in your back and the fact that you killed someone.

You have to get to John.

He’s another two floors up, but you are right in front of a balcony door. For a second, you wonder if you could get into the house from here and do the rest from inside, so you don’t present yourself to the mob of people with guns in the garden. Unfortunately, before you can do that, another person with a gun appears on the other side of that door, mouths an angry what the fuck at you, and draws an assault rifle. Alright, well.

The thing that has mostly kept you from becoming too violent in the past is the fact that you’re fast, and you’re a great climber, so when you hop backward onto the banister of the balcony and pull yourself up to the next one above you, it happens so fast that nobody in the garden reacts. It’s after you’re already crouching behind the balcony, thankfully made of robust concrete, that the shots start hitting it. You do nothing, count the bullets, wait for them to get rid of half of their magazines down there. Then you pull a knife, peek over the balcony, and throw it right into someone’s bicep.

More shots. More ducking and counting. You have two more knives to throw, and you do, rinse and repeat. The people down there are very angry with you now, and very much still able to shoot, but you figure at least their aim will be off, and they’ll be slower. You hope. You haven’t held a gun yourself in fucking forever.

You take a breath, and jump up to grab the balcony you know belongs to John.

As soon as you’re in the open, another bullet hits your back, further toward your side this time, and you almost let go. You let out an undignified noise instead, and hold on harder, focusing all you have into your arms to pull yourself up. Shots are ringing in your ears, and one hits the concrete right next to your head at almost the same time that another one grazes your leg. You hiss in pain, grunt in exertion, pull, pull, and roll yourself onto John’s balcony.

Someone in the garden yells, “Motherfucker!”

You sit, curled up, and pull apart the tear in your pants with your aching fingers to check the wound. It’s not deep, certainly not as bad as the chunk of missing flesh you have in your arm from being shot at last year. It’s fine. You’ll forget about it in a second, when your newest problem will be telling your amnesiac boyfriend that he needs to come with you.

You pull yourself up into a crouch, not more. You don’t want to risk getting shot in the head as you finally face him, so you just do it like this. Hunkered down, disheveled and bloody, you lean forward and knock on John’s window.

#posted ooc #action post #woof #eye gore text -#graphic violence -#eye trauma -#the rest of this will happen in discord :')#mentioned:#fontjoke #comedianrhapsody #mindparkour #jakepalooka sort of

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smokeybrand · 5 years ago

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Let Freedom Ring

My grandpa served in the Air Force back in the early fifties. He wanted to be a pilot but they said he had bad eyes. He didn't. He had the wrong skin tone. He settled to become a medic. My Grandpa's dream was to be a surgeon when he got out of the Air Force. There was a program that would put him on the fast track to developing those skills. He was denied again because that was a Whites Only program. When he returned to the states, after his allotted deployment, he became a Bus Driver. That was the only option available to him at that time. Far cry from being that surgeon he dreamed of becoming.

My Mom's uncles, my grand uncles, all served. The older ones saw time in WWII. I have two Japanese grand-aunts and a bunch of half Japanese and quarter Japanese cousins. One of them was my mom's other mamma. She was dope. She smoked reefer, tempura fried chitterlings, and cussed you out in the Nippon. My younger grand uncles served in Vietnam. Those cats saw horrors. A few of them got doused with Agent Orange. The US denied that sh*t for years while they dealt with the after effects and PTSD. The VA did what they could to help but it wasn't much. My uncle gave up their youth and innocence to serve in a war that wasn't necessary, only to be abandoned and treated like less than people when they got back because they were black.

My mom's kid brothers served as well. One was dismissed on a bullsh*t "Don't ask, Don't tell" situation so he was honorably discharged but didn't get any of the benefits. My uncle is dying of pancreatic cancer and the government is nowhere in sight because he chooses to love freely. The other served and was exceptional in his role. He became a sniper, one of the best in his class. They would send him on missions no one else could accomplish. He was discharged with honors. He died last year, from lung cancer that had metastasized throughout his body so badly, he couldn't walk. We found him, laying in a field, legs riddled with bone tumors, literally waiting to die. It wasn't until he was on that deathbed, that the VA decided to "pay him a visit" and even that was after WE called about his benefits.

My uncle had severe brain damage from a surprise attack a decade and change ago, and survived. His brain was swollen and hemorrhaging for a week. They had to cut out a piece of his skull to alleviate the pressure from all the blood in his head. He was in a medically induced come for weeks, but he lived. Not even an inquiry from the VA. A few years later, he was stabbed in the back several times defending a woman from an assault. He was left for dead and, if not for a passer-by, he would have bled out behind a f*cking Big Lots. They had to carve him open to suture the ruptured artery. I visited my uncle in the hospital and he couldn't talk. They had him doped out of his gourd because his chest was wide open, literally nothing but plastic between me and his beating heart. Not a peep from the government. A few years later, the cancer happened. No help there either. Oh, and my mom got one of those flags, though.

My older brother enlisted after 911. He got deployed to Iraq. He told me once he saw some action. I don't know how much, i never asked, but i imagine quite a bit. He came back early because he blew out his knee but he came back with a drinking problem. My bro always partook of the partaking but it was out of control after he came home. That tells me he saw some sh*t he probably shouldn't have. Or done some things he probably regrets, all in the name of "freedom." He's chill now but dude was mean when he first got back. It took a while for him to mellow. War will do that to you.

One of my little cousin's just enlisted. While I don't agree with that decision, she made it and I respect that. Her ma is stupid proud and she should be. Her baby is grown as sh*t. My little cousin is also pretty as sh*t so I'm mad worried. Sexual assaults are a staple of the military, especially against women of color, and they turn the blindest of eyes to that sh*t. I trust my little cousin to handle herself and her ma will if not, but the fact that I'm more apprehensive about the n*ggas in her barracks, than her seeing an actual gunfight speaks volumes about the entire f*cking Armed Forces.

I don't love the US. I'm not a patriot. Sh*t like this is why. Those are our experiences playing soldier, all because we are darker than others. Never mind the fact i can get gunned by a spooked white person when i go out to collect my Postmates. Never mind that a traffic stop can escalate into my Qualified Immunity Murder, even if I follow every direction given to me, because some pussy with a badge felt I was an imminent threat. Never mind that my fourteen-year-old son can get blown away on his way home from buying Skittles by an overzealous Neighborhood Watch Captain or that my eleven-year-old daughter can get body-slammed by a grown ass man in a uniform because she's "resisting" after taking one too many milks from the cafeteria at school. Even when I serve, do my duty, I'm still forgotten and left out in the cold. All of that 'Support Our Troops” only lasts until you get home and then you're on your own, I guess. That's what happened to my uncle. That's what is happening to my other uncle. No, i don't love the US because the US i live in, f*cking hates me.

When you wave your flags and pound your chest with pride, you're praising a country I don't know. I don't know what it's like not to be hated because of my skin tone. I don't know what it's like not to be seen as a threat at ten-years-old because I have a stockier build than other kids. I don't know what it's like to look back on my history, and not have it riddled with crimes against humanity. Henrietta Lacks. Rosewood. Tulsa. Black Wall Street. Slavery. The Tuskegee Experiments. Jim Crow. The Crack Epidemic. I don't know what it's like not to open a history book and see pictures of people who look like me, strung up from f*cking trees. What does it feel like to know you're innocent until proven guilty or that your charges won't get trumped up depending on how dark you are? What's it like to be able to hold an entire state government branch hostage, visible automatic weapons on your back, threatening officials openly, because you want your florist and Applebee's to open prematurely during a f*cking pandemic, and experience no form of reprimand? What's it like to live in a world where you don't have to open up the f*cking internet, and see another list of people who look like you, killed for sleeping or jogging or playing or selling loose cigarettes or waiting for a f*cking ride. What's it like to not have to witness, over and over again, people who look like you, dying in real time on the prime time goddamn news? What's it feel like not to have to watch your people get lynched for nine goddamn minutes and then listen to people talk about how your justified anger should be tempered in order to be taken seriously?

Our entire history is one of struggle. My mother is three years younger than the first black girl ever to integrate into a southern elementary school. They had to call in the national guard to walk this child into class. My mother lived through Jim Crow. She was eleven-years-old when King was assassinated. My grandpa, the one who served in the Air Force, was five years removed from it's integration. Five years before my Grandpa enlisted, there were no black people in the Air Force. None. And even when they were allowed to enlist, they weren't allowed to fly. They would make up aliments to keep black people out of the cockpits. My kid bother was just out here protesting the same sh*t my mom did when she was young, fifty years later. Five decades and we're still fighting the same fight. My grandpa fought that fight, too. That was twenty years before my mom stood up. Three generations of civil unrest. Three generations of fighting to be acknowledged as human. Seventy f*cking years, for just my family, and we're still trying to get equal. Not more, just equal. Why? Why do we have to suffer so much here? Why do we have to teach out kids not to trust the police or to be as non-threatening as possible around white people? Why do we have to do so much more, and get nothing in return? How is that fair? How is that just? Where's all of this liberty and freedom you motherf*ckers crow about? Even when we do right by this punk ass country, we still get f*cked. How can you expect me to love a place that so obviously, aggressively, hates me?

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earwaxinggibbous · 5 years ago

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Top 10 Worst Hit Songs of 2019

So 2019 was kind of a weird year, wasn’t it? Not just for like, life, though it was weird in that aspect, but in music.

I can’t tell if 2019 was an incredibly strong year for music or a weak one. This, to me, is a sign that we’re transitioning into a new era of popular music. The youth are once again taking the reigns of the music scene as did the punks of the 70′s and the grunge kids of the 90′s. Meanwhile, the oldheads flounder for relevance in the face of this new adversity. “Nobody could’ve expected this!”, said no-one ever.

There was a lot of great pop this year, which I will get to, but there was also a lot of bad pop. All of it was either by shitty new artists who have no talent or previous hitmakers swimming around in their own piss. Regardless, it was all interesting to look at. You won’t see any “this entry is short because this song is boring” sections. I also won’t have to rant and rave constantly about the reprehensibility of certain artists, though it will come up. So I guess 2019 was a better year to talk about bad music.

Less do dis.

10. Senorita - Camila Cabello and Shawn Mendes

I can’t explain why I hate Camila Cabello so much. I didn’t even realize I hated her until, like... now.

I thought Havana was okay, and her work with Fifth Harmony was tolerable, but every other single she’s dropped has been fucking excruciating. Bad Things sucked, that one song where she can’t pronounce the word “heroin” properly sucked, and this song sucks.

Much like Selena Gomez above, Camila Cabello is yet another female singer who lacks the ability to display any chemistry with anybody, even her actual real friend Shawn Mendes. As well, like sister Gomez, she fills the chart niche of sexy Latina women for men to drool over. “I love it when you call me senorita” is one of the corniest and stupidest lines ever written. She may as well have said “it gets me hot when you call me Ms. Cabello” because that’s essentially the equivalent.

There’s nothing sexy about the airy whimpering or the obnoxious “ooh-la-la”s or the way Shawn harmonizes, which implies he also loves it when you call him senorita. Nobody actually bothered to think any part of this song through because nobody ever thinks very hard about writing Camila’s songs. Otherwise Bad Things wouldn’t have accidentally sounded like an abuse anthem when it was supposed to be kinky and sexy. And it’s how creepy lyrics like this got by in Senorita.

If he says you’re just friends then you’re JUST FRIENDS. Did we learn nothing from Ann-Marie and Marshmello last year?

This is just yet another lame, plotless, meandering love/sex song by Camila Cabello who has a good voice, but only ever performs these god-awful sex jams with no sex and no jam. And it’s unfortunate because this is sort of the lot dealt to most Latinx artists. Pop-friendly artists like Camila are divvied up into racial categories without anyone even noticing, and most likely she will only ever write and perform sex jams because that’s what a Latina woman in pop is pushed into. Not that I think she has any problem with it, it’s more indicative of a bigger problem than specifically one with Camila herself.

People have been sexualizing the Latinx community since the dawn of time, and while the new movement of Spanish music might change this, it sure as hell hasn’t started yet.

At least it isn’t seven minutes long like Te Bote.

9. Money in the Grave - Drake and Rick Ross

Drake had 25 hits last year, and only one of them was a song I might say I actually like. I remember I said there’d be no boring songs, but... Drake hasn’t been interesting in a long time. Even when I found out about his secret son, or the fact that he was with a significantly younger woman, I just kinda shrugged and said “oh”. Drake has to be on his way out. How much longer are people going to stand this?

Money in the Grave isn’t as turgid as 2018’s Nonstop, or as audibly inept as the 2017(?)’s Pop Style, but God. At this point, every Drake song sounds the same. The man is incapable of bringing forth any kind of emotions, his beats are pathetic drum loops, nothing he writes has any personality. It’s almost funny how boring his music is.

Rick Ross, if you remember him, was known in his time for writing shouty drug dealer anthems. He yelled a lot, and I was sitting with bated breath waiting for him to fucking 6ix9ine scream over this track, only to be disappointed when he lowered into a calmer register for this tune. Drake even made Rick Ross boring, and Rick Ross is one of the funniest bad rappers I can think of, aside from like, Soulja Boy.

I no longer understand what niche Drake fills. You can’t dance to this, you can’t get high to it, nobody’s gonna think you’re cool if you enjoy it, the lyrics aren’t even passably interesting. It’s the same rap cliches as always, perhaps with a new coat of paint, but said paint is the same color as it already was previously, and makes no change.

No wonder Drake endorsed Lil Baby. Nobody else can equal his talent at sounding bored.

8. Bad Guy - Billie Eilish

So here’s an unpopular music critic opinion: I don’t like Billie Eilish.

I’ve known of her for a long time, and never once has she drawn my intrigue. I’ve gone all over asking people why they like her, and I’ve heard all sorts of answers. Her voice is good, her lyrics are good, her production is interesting, her subject matter is deep... whatever it actually is, I couldn’t tell you. But in the end, I basically feel the same way about her as I do about Twenty-One Pilots. She’s an artist in an oversaturated micro-genre who, despite being of lower quality than her contemporaries, managed to do something different enough that she rose up in the latter part of the genre’s life. In Billie’s case, it’s the trend of female alt-pop singer-songwriters who write about things like politics, feminism, and ESPECIALLY mental health.

Lorde was the original, but we also have Lana Del Rey, the more pop-friendly Halsey, Marina and the Diamonds, the dreaded Melanie Martinez, to some extent even Alessia Cara, just a whole bunch of them. They all had their own unique personality. Billie Eilish’s personality is that she has none.

Okay, I’m being a little mean. I do think that Billie’s music videos are actually very interesting, but good music videos does not a good musician make. Her voice is more of a phlegmy whisper than people let on, and her lyrics... like, what, what makes them so special? And why didn’t wish you were gay get ANY backlash when it’s basically just a backwards version of Little Big Town’s Girl Crush?

Bad Guy is the worst of her singles without question. Its beat, much like most of her songs, sounds like two people accidentally banged on top of the Cassio and somebody pressed record. Her voice continues to be boring and flat, for some reason she has to whisper everything, and the lyrics are some of the most mind-numbing shit I’ve ever heard. Which moron at corporate told the 17-YEAR-OLD to write a “steal yo man” song where she threatens to seduce my dad? Like, ignoring my own personal history with my dad, you are literally a CHILD.

Generally speaking, the song sounds like someone gargling mouthwash in my ear for a minute or two, but like, very quietly. Which is kind of pathetic for a song called Bad Guy. You sound like a pretty average guy to me.

It’s obvious from the music video that Billie’s main inspiration is grunge, and if that isn’t the case I’ll be surprised. The weird imagery and intentionally dressing like a homeless person to every public thing she does gives off big Nirvana energy. One could argue that Billie Eilish is a good segway into teaching the youthsters about the ghosts of music’s past. There’s just a few problems with that.

One: Bad Guy sounds nothing like a grunge song.

Two: Billie Eilish does not have a grunge voice.

Three: Billie Eilish just... isn’t doing it right.

Billie Eilish’s parents are two wealthy actors and she was basically born with the ability to get into the business easier than other people. I’m not saying that you can’t be a grunge artist if you’re wealthy and have a decent family life, but I am saying that Billie’s music doesn’t convey any kind of grunge appeal. There’s no roughness or rawness to it because she could immediately walk into a producer’s studio with a wad of fifties and ask for a sick beat. Her music displays no emotion, and emotion is the main draw of grunge. Like, Kurt Cobain wasn’t a very good singer, but he knew how to perfectly channel how he was feeling. Grunge music is about feelings, not polish. And Billie Eilish is all polish.

I’m not gonna get all angry because grunge is being gentrified by a tiny girl when it was originally started by broke heroin addicts and lesbians, but I am gonna get angry because her music sounds worse than albums made on a budget of 600 dollars by a guy who has had one voice lesson his whole life.

She should just go into modern art.

7. Worth It - YK Osiris

Originally I was gonna give this spot to a different song. Worth It was so immediately bad that it rescued Lil Baby from my list this year.

Don’t expect to be this lucky next year, bitch.

But we’re not talking about that squealing douchebag, we’re talking about THIS squealing douchebag:

YK Osiris. I have no idea where he came from, I think he was part of last year’s XXL Freshman Class? He’s more of a singer than a rapper, so I’m not sure why he was, other than the predetermined idea that all black artists in pop are rappers. I wouldn’t even call him a singer, because the man cannot sing.

At the beginning of the music video, you see dozens of paparazzi swarming around YK Osiris’ car as he exits with a girl. This is the set-up for the song’s impressive amount of self-fellating narcissism, as YK Osiris assumes he has fans. Who the fuck listens to YK Osiris? I mean, clearly someone, because he charted, but like... what does a YK Osiris fan look like? Do women actually like hearing him wheeze into their ear? Like BEES?

NO MORE BEES!

Hearing this fucking chicken nugget talk about whether or not I’m worth eet is the lamest thing. Why does she have to be worth it? Are YOU worth HER time? Who the fuck are you? The attitude is very, I guess, mid-70′s Paul Anka-esque. And now I’ve made you imagine a YK Osiris cover of You’re Having My Baby. I also remember Todd in the Shadows compared this song to Earned It by The Weeknd, but I dunno if I get that vibe.

I mean, Earned It is a song about like... BDSM sex, presumably. So that’s more of an “if you’re good master will make you squart” kind of thing. This is more some sentient dildo insisting that you prove his worth to him before you’re even DATING. That’s a red flag on the same level as meeting a guy who lives alone and still puts a lock on his fridge. Like, what’s in there? What’s in the fridge? Is it human meat?

The guitar solo in this song is the only thing about it that’s... worth it. ZING!

6. ZEZE - Kodak Black ft.Travis Scott and Offset

ZEZE is a bad song. Plain and simple. It’s the essence of bad.

It feels like... it wasn’t even finished. Like everyone involved came in the next day to finish tweaking it only to find out that it was already sent out to be published and sold. I feel like there are things missing. Like yeah, the steel drums are nice, but where’s the rest of the instrumentation? There’s a drum and a steel drum and then nothing. Why does this song feel so naked?

Kodak Black sure doesn’t help, still sounding like he’s half-man half-screaming rubber chicken and mumbling like an actual infant still figuring out the whole “talking” deal. It’s not like Travis Scott or Offset add anything. I can’t remember what they did. ZEZE sounds the way I imagine taking ketamine and cocaine would feel. This song is so amateurish, I almost have good will for it.

If this was made by, say, a couple of high school kids dinking around with a Garageband, I might find it a little cute. The problem is that this song was made by several Whole Ass Adult People who have enough money to not make shit that sounds like ZEZE. It’s cute until you remember that Travis Scott produced big sexy SICKO MODE and yet somehow his presence couldn’t make ZEZE sound like it was made on a higher budget than 20 bucks. Someone even put an echo on Kodak’s voice, like that’d make him ANY BETTER.

It doesn’t help that I have continuing ill will towards Kodak Black because he’s a sex offender and nobody seems all too pressed about it. (Some rappers even congratulate him for having a rough past, like yeah, I guess some of those serial killers really did deserve better, huh?) I won’t be satisfied until he’s wearing orange pajamas on an island far away, and until then my feelings stand.

As it is, ZEZE is a song so chintzy-sounding and lame that I can’t imagine who would enjoy it. This song has the same energy as one of those hula girls you put on the dashboard of your car: Cheap and ugly.

5. The Git Up - Blanco Brown

Whenever something new is created, there’s always a leech.

I probably don’t need to tell you about the monstrous year Old Town Road had on the pop charts. For weeks and weeks, Lil Nas X was blocking people from his throne at the top of the Billboard Hot 100, bumping off new faces like Billie Eilish and oldheads like Taylor Swift. Old Town Road knew no mercy. This is the year that a gay black kid singing about horses ruled the world.

And Blanco Brown wanted a piece.

Blanco Brown is one of those artists who started out producing and writing for other hitmakers. He worked on some song by 2Chainz, a couple by some woman named Demetria McKinney, he produced that accursed MILF song by Fergie, a lot of relatively famous people. But he looked at Old Town Road and realized that he, being a black man from the lovely state of Georgia, could also do that.

He could not do that.

The Git Up is a husk of a song, only validated by the fact that it achieved what it was aiming for: TikTok memes. It’s as shameless as Watch Me, but doesn’t even have the small sense of excitement Silento gives off. Blanco Brown’s The Git Up and the “challenge” that it’s attached to are pathetic. The only reason Blanco isn’t too ashamed to go outside after writing this is because he knows plenty of people have fallen into his trap, and that they’re bigger fools than he is.

I started off hating Old Town Road, but over time I’ve sort of come to love it. There’s innocence in it. Lil Nas X didn’t mean for it to be a number one hit, it just happened. A lot of artists were trying too hard this past year, and I suspect it’s why Old Town Road made the pop charts its bitch. It didn’t have to try.

A lot of people will point at rock bands for being “fake”. If they draw inspiration from grunge or punk, and they don’t have the proper edge, many will point and laugh. But just because something is fun and hip doesn’t mean it’s easier to make. In fact, I feel it’s a lot easier to tell if someone’s making a shitty pop song for any reason other than themselves. A lot of people thought Lil Peep was faking, and he really, really wasn’t. There’s grey area in topics like depression, but Blanco Brown (and anyone like him) is as transparent as a window. I see through his mock-excitement, his cute little dance challenge, his “innocent” song. We all do.

I believe Tyler Durden put it best:

“Sticking feathers up your butt does not make you a chicken.”

4. I Don’t Care - Ed Sheeran ft. Justin Bieber

Speaking of being fake...

I don’t know if Ed Sheeran realizes how embarrassing this song is. More than any other song he’s been involved in. More than Shape Of You, or that one song on Revival, more than anything. I Don’t Care is an exercise in humiliation.

Generally speaking, I don’t like Ed Sheeran’s music. I think he’s had a couple good songs, we all like Sing and Castle on the Hill, it’s not like he’s untalented. But every time he’s gotten a big hit these past few years it’s been so shitty or mediocre that I wanted to scream. I’m not sure why, but all of his fans seem to flock towards his worst songs. And of all of them, I hate I Don’t Care the most.

Usually the problems with Ed Sheeran’s music just revolve around his meek, tiny personality and his weird style of lyricism. The level of detail he gets into can be both an asset and a detriment. I remember I basically described Shape Of You as a virgin anthem, because Ed Sheeran exudes dorkiness. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t, and when it comes to nerd music I’d rather take Thomas Dolby, but he definitely had a style.

I Don’t Care is Ed’s Intuition.

As in, the Jewel song. The blown-up pop song released by Jewel, a previously sincere folk singer who played acoustic guitar and sang about break-ups and The Media(TM) and stuff like that. Ed Sheeran is a lot like Jewel, if you think about it. Both of them are skilled lyricists who play acoustic guitar and sing about personal topics, and both of them suddenly decided to throw that away and make a sell-out pop hit. If this kills Ed’s career, they’ll have had basically the same musical trajectory.

Ed Sheeran opens the song by saying he’s at a party he doesn’t wanna be at, and that’s how the song feels. You, the listener, are at a party you don’t wanna be at. What good did adding Justin Bieber to this song do? Oh, right, that’s what made it a hit. I Don’t Care goes far beyond Blanco Brown’s brand of shamelessness. Blanco Brown specifically wanted a dance challenge hit. Ed Sheeran just wanted a hit. Any hit will do. He brought in guaranteed hitmaker Justin Bieber, tossed out his acoustic guitar for fully electronic production, and sang about something vague and already done. And the worst part is that it WORKED.

I imagine this was almost entirely through radio play, because this song is so radio-friendly and milktoast it’s unreal. With a stupid music video greenscreening Ed’s face onto shit and “ooh ooh”s and all, this song exists to pander. It wasn’t created for humans, rather, it was created for the pop music algorithm that’ll shove it into people’s laps without them asking. There’s no artistic integrity, nothing worth thinking about for longer than its runtime. It made it to the Hot 100 because it can be played in grocery stores and clothing stores and really any kind of store. Ed Sheeran is a God of nothing, and I can’t imagine he’s proud.

3. No Guidance - Chris Brown ft. Drake

This song is bad on every possible level. Starting off with the fact that it’s nine minutes long. It out-lengths last year’s overly long garbage fire that was Te Bote.

And then you look at the credits and know exactly who’s to blame for all this:

I don’t know if Lil Dicky anticipated giving Chris Brown’s career a second wind with Freaky Friday, but I think that’s what he did. I defended Lil Dicky last year, and I’m still not clear on how much he actually wanted to work with Chris Brown since that’s not really the kind of thing famous people are honest about, but this wasn’t Lil Dicky’s hit. This was a springboard to launch Chris Brown back into the limelight. Earth didn’t even chart. I wouldn’t be surprised if that was the last gasp of Lil Dicky’s career in the spotlight.

But I’d take Freaky Friday over No Guidance any day.

No Guidance is the formal beef-squash between Chris Brown and Drake. Apparently they both dated Rihanna at some point and allegedly had an actual literal bar fight. Despite Drake claiming he still loves Rihanna, he’s also choosing to publicly make up with and work with the man who got her hospitalized at 19 years old. Then again, Rihanna also wants nothing to do with Drake.

(source)

Over time, Drake has proven himself to be his own flavor of scumbag, a weirdo who dates younger women and pretended not to have a son. Perhaps this is his way of getting back at Rihanna. Or he’s simply using Chris Brown’s new power to bolster his own career. Regardless of why it is, it’s gross, especially when he’s dropping bars like this:

Someone else here is looking a little violent, no?

On pure quality, it sounds like every other Chris Brown song, just with Drake tossed into the mix haphazardly. It’s a lame song about hitting on some girl where both artists drop references to their old songs because that’s the easiest way for a failing artist to feign relevance. Assuming nobody features Chris Brown on another massive hit next year, there’s a fair chance he’s done for, and after years of oversaturation, the public finally tires of Drake. No Guidance is a nothing song with scummy shit going on behind the scenes.

RIP Lil Dicky.

2. 7 Rings - Ariana Grande

I never really understood the hype around Ariana Grande. She has a few songs that I enjoy, and her voice is very good, but nothing by her really stands out to me as an amazing song. Ariana stans are relentless. When I posted my review of the thank u, next album some complete stranger replied to it with “Uhhh ok sis”. Like barring the fact that I’m not a girl and we’re not related... it’s an opinion, calm yourself.

Frankly I don’t know how people enjoyed this song. Her stans are insane, but surely not that insane, right? I mean... this isn’t a song. It’s a MISTAKE.

Between Gwen Stefani and Ariana Grande, sampling The Sound Of Music for your pop song is a dangerous game. And really, she should’ve sampled like, anything else. Because nothing says “wealthy, savage girl” like a cute song about your favorite things, I guess!

I’ve never felt quite so immediately gross and uncomfortable as I did when listening to 7 Rings. I have no problem with women flexing, of course I don’t, but this isn’t flexing, it’s mocking. 7 Rings makes me feel like I’m being bullied.

Ari had a horrible 2018, and she’s more than allowed to flex a little, but I can’t imagine why anyone would want to essentially play the villain of a high school movie. She’s not Cher Horowitz or Regina George, because then at least she’d be entertainingly bitchy. I judge a flex anthem based on how much I get excited for the person being wealthy and cool. This song makes me want to commit a robbery.

The lyrical content isn’t the only bad element. It also sounds like shit!

Ariana Grande is a belter. Everyone knows she’s here to sing and not... rap. Which is exactly what she does on this song. The filters she puts over her voice during the rapping sections are just... gross. When she drags out certain words it hurts my ears. That and apparently multiple people have accused her of stealing their flows, though that’s really hard to say since it’s an incredibly generic rap flow. Also, she samples Gimme The Loot by Biggie Smalls, a song about robbing people. Which makes sense because if you bought Ariana’s album, you were robbed! Congrats!

But in the end, the most damning thing about this song is its lyrics. Why should I be excited about this absolute bitch having tons of money? Why should I care when she has the gall to say shit like this?

There were ten writers on this song and nobody thought of saying “hey, maybe the phrase ‘happiness is the same price as red-bottoms’ is a little fucking shallow!”

And I’m not making any judgments on Ariana’s character in real life. I’m sure she’s a perfectly nice person, but if this song was supposed to project some sense of camaraderie and a “we did it!” attitude, it fails. What it does project is a snide, rich girl looking down on you for not just buying yourself out of depression. Never write a song like this again.

Honorable Mentions

Happier - Marshmello and Bastille

I’m not gonna be the first to say every Marshmello beat sounds exactly the same, but every Marshmello beat sounds the same. I picked this one because it charted highest, but really it makes no difference which Marshmello song I pick on.

Sweet But Psycho - Ava Max

This song reads like a 12-year-old’s deviantART journal.

Drip Too Hard - Lil Baby and Gunna

Like I said, this song almost got on the list proper. It’s a slow burn. At first you feel like the beat is solid, and Lil Baby rides it decently enough, but then it keeps going and the flows never switch and Gunna basically sounds the same as Lil Baby and you begin feeling like you’re losing your mind.

Thotiana - Blueface

People kept memeing about this. I thought it’d be fun. I hate you guys.

God’s Country - Blake Shelton

Namedropping The Devil Went Down To Georgia does not make you Primus. Because you are not creative or interesting.

Trampoline - Shaed

I wouldn’t have even given this song a second thought except apparently it’s hit the alt-rock charts? Where is this rock? Like I get we’re pushing the boundaries of genre but I think the bare minimum of a rock song would be a GUITAR.

Knockin’ Boots - Luke Bryan

This song is dumb. But I’m oddly amused by how dumb it is, so it may live.

Baby - Lil Baby and DaBaby

Sometimes things sound like a good idea, and then they’re not. This didn’t even sound like a good idea and it proved to be an even worse idea. Something definitely could’ve been done with this, but Lil Baby is essentially a creative void that consumes all it sees.

Someone You Loved - Lewis Capaldi

Another song that’s too dumb for me to really get mad at. God knows, Capaldi is putting a hell of a lot of effort into something. What it is, I’m not sure, but he’s doing his best.

With those out of the way, we move onto

Number One:

You Need To Calm Down - Taylor Swift

"I AM LAID LOW BY THE HUMAN RACE. ME, AN INNOCENT WOMAN, MUST DEAL WITH ‘HATERS’ EVERY SINGLE DAY. MY HEART HAS BECOME WEAK WITH ALL OF THE UNKIND WORDS. DARE I SAY... I AM OPPRESSED?”

It’s ironic hearing Taylor Swift tell me to calm down. She hasn’t been calm for a long time. She sure as hell isn’t calm in this song. It’s basically the equivalent of someone screaming “I AM NOT ANGRY!”

Like, you’re... still mad about the snake thing? It’s been a few years now and you’re still bothered enough by an emoji that you referenced it in a song about how not-bothered you are? I mean, apparently this song (as well as ME!) is about celebrating individuality. It definitely is celebrating an individual: Taylor Swift.

I think a big theme of this year was “embarrassing”. The Git Up was embarrassing, I Don’t Care was embarrassing, but none of them are more embarrassing than this. You could probably do a list of the ten worst Taylor Swift lyrics and it’d be mostly this song. And if the lyrics aren’t terrible enough, it also blatantly copies the beat from Sunflower, the second-biggest hit of the year and a personal favorite. Like, a fellow critic remixed them together and the backing track is essentially unchanged.

And then we get to the gay stuff.

I’m not the first to point out that the underlying message of this song is pathetic at best and offensive at worst: “I have haters, and gays have haters, so we’re basically the same.” This is essentially Taylor Swift hoping she’ll get an invite to judge on RuPaul’s Drag Race.

There’s just kind of an eensy weensy problem.

Gay “haters” are like... ACTUALLY DANGEROUS.

They’re not just the goofy, protest-sign waving boomers she depicts in her music video. An internet comment is harmless. Homophobia isn’t. Homophobia leads to suicide, gets teens kicked out of their homes, causes hate crimes, it can cause incredibly serious harm. Someone sending you a fucking snake emoji isn’t the same as years and years of systematic oppression!

Does Taylor Swift have to worry about her safety when she tours in more conservative areas? Does she have to fear the possibility of losing friends and family ties when opening up about herself? Does she have to worry about letting the public see who she dates, beyond the usual celebrity drama? Do people shout slurs at her on the street? Do churches and politicians campaign against her right to marry?

Of course not.

Taylor Swift has always made everything about herself. She’s lied and been petty for years and years in her music. Imagine lying about KANYE. You don’t need to lie about fucking Kanye to make him look bad! He does it himself! She was the victim that time, and every time. But at no point until now did she stoop low enough to openly compare herself to oppressed groups because people are mean to her on the internet.

Like this isn’t even about articles or tabloids or anything, it’s about people being nasty online. The phrase “shade never made anybody less gay” is basically a crackhead way of diminishing our suffering. It’s not “shade” we’re worried about, Taylor, it’s having our fucking legal rights taken away. Your biggest worry is “haters”. Haters aren’t going to ban you from being married.

This song is phony, it’s a rip-off of a much better song that literally came out in the same year, it’s repetitive, it’s petty, and most of all, it tries to diminish the oppression of the LGBT+ community by boiling down all of our pain and suffering to simple “shade”.

I will not calm down.

Woo-ee. That was something alright. We’ll be moving onto the best list soon, if I don’t get caught up in my other quarantine activities.

#panda posts #top 10 list #worst hits of 2019 #top 10 worst hits of 2019 #worst hits #pop song review #pop music #music criticism #music review

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timetoresurface · 5 years ago

Text

Dream Glow / JJK (1)

a steady radiance of light or heat

Word: Listening to Dream Glow by BTS and Charli XCX gave me a new dose of inspiration. This is what I came up with after weeks of radio silence. Pairing: Y/N x Jungkook Genre: Romance, as I’m a hopeless romantic, best friend idol au Warnings: nothing really, maybe a bit angsty covered in fluff Word count: 5K Summary: You’re just trying to make it though the day with Jungkook being your best friend. Distance and personal issues make it hard to maintain this friendship but you are both dedicated. The day Jungkook admits to like someone is the day you start to realize how much you actually like that stupid boy. What should you do?

Everything you are is average. You work an ordinary job filled with normal people trying to make it through the day. The apartment you live in is a regular home for a city person. The daily routine of your life was a simple comfort blanket, something to shield you from all the risks you hadn’t taken. You were happy, or at least you made yourself believe you were. You were satisfied with a simple life because you had chosen to settle for the ordinary.

“Y/N!” Your boss yelled through the office making everyone feel insecure and scared. You however were used by your boss’s rude behavior. What did he need this time? And why did he have to scream for attention when you were almost finished with your project?

“You called for me sir?” You asked while entering his office. The room was painted in a dull grey and was filled with dark furniture. The only splash of color were the plants that were scattered through his office. You took quite an interest in his plants as you were the only one watering them. You were the only one that cared as your boss never liked the smelly green things his wife had given him throughout the years.

“Have you already finished the report about the returning customers?” He asked you with despair in his voice. He probably had a fight with his wife or something because he usually wasn’t the desperate kind of man.

“I was just finishing up. I can send it to you in half an hour if you’d like.” You politely answered his question with fake politeness.

“That would be perfect.” He gestured for you to leave his office and you gladly exited. This was a weekly routine and you weren’t as scared as you had been before. Your boss is just someone who likes perfection and as long as you deliver something close to excellence he would leave you to do your job.

You handed him the report when it was finished. You had lunch with two of your colleagues you could kind of call your friends. Afterwards you cleaned your inbox starting with the more urgent ones before calling it a day. There wasn’t any adventure in your daily routine, it mostly was just you trying to make it through the day without crying.

“See you tomorrow Y/N.” One of your colleagues said while speed walking through the rain, she had forgotten her umbrella and tried to avoid the droplets by zigzagging.

“Bye.” You said while opening your umbrella. The walk back to your place was only a ten minute walk. Something you loved about your job as it was the only time of the day where you could clear your thoughts. Nothing satisfies you more than walking through the busy city streets with a good soundtrack playing in the background. The most adventure you got in your day were these ten minutes where you tried not to get hit by cars and ignored people’s rude remarks when you walked too slow.

Your thoughts were interrupted by your cellphone loudly playing stressed out by Twenty One Pilots. Who dares to interrupt your only ten minutes of freedom?

“Y/N speaking?” You didn’t look at the caller ID thinking it wouldn’t be someone important. The only meaningful person in your life was always traveling the world and barely had time to call you every other week.

“Y/N it is me! Did you delete my number?” The caller’s voice yelled from the other side of the line. All annoyance disappeared as soon as you heard his melodic voice.

“Jungkook!” You exclaimed. “No, I would never delete your number, you know that.” A smile found its way to your face and you couldn’t even remember the last time your muscles were found in this position. The last time you smiled this big was probably the last time Jungkook had called you.

“Lately I’m not so sure Y/N. I’m always the one calling and making sure our friendship keeps on existing.” You could hear the little pout through his voice. Always a baby.

“You’re always busy when I call. I can literally drop everything when you’re calling. I mean you can’t stop singing in the middle of a show just to talk to me.” It was a stupid excuse but it was the one you were going to hide behind.

“I would though.” He whispered but you barely heard him over the buzz in the background.

“Where are you? It is so noisy.” You asked him genuinely interested in his whereabouts.

“Backstage at some award show.” Was his vague answer. Sometimes it was really difficult to keep up a good satisfying conversation with him.

“Oh. Did you win anything?” You tried to poke him again to receive more than just some lazy answer he would give to his mom.

“Yes, we just came back from the acceptance speech. It was great.” He sounded happy but also tired. They probably still have to perform as they’re the biggest act at the moment. And they like to keep the best for last.

“I’m proud of you Jungkook.” And you meant it. You had met Jungkook while he was already in BTS, the early stages, at school. He wasn’t always in class as he had to practice and perform but when he was present he immediately caught your eye. Maybe you had wanted something more than friendship at the time but you settled to just be his friend. You were selfish, you knew that, you just wanted him in your life. Also you were both sixteen at the time, who was ready for something as serious as a relationship. Definitely not you.

“Y/N, tomorrow we’ll be flying home. Wait for me at our dorms?” His question was so innocent. He just wanted someone familiar to hug while arriving back home before the shit storm of practice starts again.

“Send me your schedule and I’ll be there when you arrive.” You accepted his offer even if you had to call in sick at work.

“Okay great. See you in a bit.”

“See you.” With you saying the last words the call had ended. Your friendship with Jungkook had been the most important thing in your life for the past year. He didn’t know that and you kind of wanted to keep it that way. He doesn’t need to know you hated your job and he most definitely doesn’t need to find out about your zero friends. You hadn’t always been such a mood killer but the past two years everything had changed and somehow you ended up as an old single lady complaining about everything. Except when you were with Jungkook or the other members of BTS. You were always at your best behavior when you were with them, reminding yourself of who you used to be before you had turned into the old screaming neighborhood lady with a thousand cats. Even though you had not one cat as your building forbade you to have pets, the bastards.

## flashback ##

You were busy taking all your books out of your backpack when the teacher called for your attention. A new boy was enrolling in your class and he was a trainee, a wannabe idol. There were a few others in your class who were trainee’s and you could immediately tell they were never going to make it. They just didn’t have the special cuteness you needed to become a well respected idol. You were still setting up your desk when the teacher introduced the new boy. You didn’t need to look at him to know he was just another wannabe trying to become something bigger than the stars had planned out for him.

“I’m Jungkook. Hello.” He awkwardly said with a voice as clear as crystal. You head instantly snapped up to look at the new boy and for the first time you saw someone close to resemble a future idol. He could if he wanted to, but his shy behavior might be mistaken for someone who didn’t really want to do anything but hide.

“You can sit next to Y/N.” The teacher said while gesturing toward you. Jungkook didn’t seem too pleased when he followed the teachers finger but you were excited. Never had you seen someone so innocent and intriguing. Maybe it were your teenage hormones finally acting up or maybe it was fate. Who could tell?

The first few weeks he was there every single day but you still hadn’t said a word to him. You secretly admired him from afar and wondered if he had gotten any sleep that night. You weren’t the only one intrigued by the new boy but he didn’t seem to care. He had made one friend, another trainee, and didn’t even try to contact anyone else. The day you had finally found all your courage to go and talk to him, he wasn’t there. And he was gone for a week before he got back to school with his ears pierced and his hair dyed another color. All your courage had disappeared and you were back at admiring him from a distance. Noticing little things like him always trying to hide his laugh even though it was the most beautiful sound you had ever heard.

Months went by and your obsession with the boy had started to die out as your favorite artist had released a new song. Maybe it were the Gods playing tricks on you but the moment you started to lose him in a crowd they pushed him right back into your lap.

“Please take a number and the person who has the same number will be your partner during this project.” Your teacher said while walking through the room so everyone could pick a number. Some tried to cheat and others were trying to change numbers with someone else trying to bribe them with little things. You noticed Jungkook’s number before you checked yours. He had a big nine written on a paper and you had the same nine on yours.

“Y/N can you maybe change numbers? I really want to be paired up with Jungkook.” Some girl in your class whispered into your ear. It was one of those girls who wore make-up even though it was strictly forbidden by school rules. Somehow the teachers didn’t notice her young features highlighted with mascara and lipstick.

“Y/N you also have a nine right?” Jungkook came to your rescue and for the first time your eyes locked. Slowly you nodded your head and you both agreed later on this was the moment your friendship had officially started.

## end flashback ##

Luckily for your boss Jungkook arrived late at night which meant you could spend your Friday at work. Unluckily for you, Jungkook had to arrive past nine PM making you go to your desk and sit through boring mails and phone calls. He had send you a couple of texts throughout the day and your colleagues noticed your different behavior.

“It is strange to see you smile during office hours.” Someone had said.

“Maybe she has a date tonight? She looks extremely good today.” You heard someone whisper to another colleague. You didn’t care for their words as the only thing that mattered was you and Jungkook reuniting after months of separation. You had also checked out his schedule and he was staying for over a month which meant a month of happiness and endless cuddles.

“Y/N can you finish this off for me? I need to go pick up my mom from the hospital.” One of your closest co-workers asked. You didn’t really belief her as her outfit screamed more date night than hospital taxi driver but you simple agreed as you had the time due to Jungkook arriving late.

Hours went by slowly, very slowly. Jungkook hadn’t texted you anymore which meant his must be on a plane but it made you nervous. You hadn’t seen him in a while and he always stayed the same shy annoying boy you got to know and love, but you were always expecting the worst. What if his famous status got to his head and he would become someone like those Hollywood assholes? You shivered at the thought. But luckily your phone started buzzing making you forget these ugly thoughts of your best friend.

“Hi Y/N! We just landed. I’ll be there in an hour or so.” He exclaimed happily with the dying motor of the airplane being heard in the background.

“Ok, see you soon.” You simply stated before hanging up the phone. You quickly gathered your things and ran out of your office building after shutting all the lights as you were the last to leave.

Every time you went to meet Jungkook after haven’t seen him for a long time you were nervous. Just as nervous as the first time he took you to his dorms to start working on your school project. Which was of course a bad idea as everyone else in his band wanted to disturb you. It also didn’t help that you were a girl and they barely saw girls around their dorms which made them even more annoying. Over the years they had changed dorms and some of them had also bought their own apartment, including Jungkook and his extravagant luxurious apartment. He still asked you to hang out at his dorm which made you unsure of his intentions. Were you going to spend a couple of hours together or were you going to spend the night talking about everything and nothing?

Some of the staff had already arrived and welcomed you with open arms. They had not only seen Jungkook grow up to be a fine human being but they also noticed you becoming more of a woman. Hugs were exchanged and short anecdotes were told, not from your side as you barely had anything new to say.

“Jungkook missed you Y/N. I want to see his face when he notices you here.” One of the staff members said and you couldn’t help but blush. At the beginning most of the staff didn’t like you hanging out with Jungkook. Scared that one of you might fall for the other or even worse, someone might see you two hanging out. Luckily nobody was in love with the other and luckily, but rather unlucky for you, Jungkook couldn’t spend all his free time with you as he was too busy traveling the world with his best friends.

“How have you been Y/N?” Someone of the management asked you and you knew the boys must be close as they’re barely seen without their managers.

“I’ve been good. I’ve been working and everything is ok.” You tried to sound happy and up beat but you secretly needed Jungkook to bring that side back out of you.

“Other things outside work?” He asked you with concern in his eyes but you couldn’t answer him as someone hugged you from behind.

“Y/N!” It was Jungkook’s voice screaming in your ear. It were Jungkook’s arms holding you so tight you could barely breathe.

“Kook. Oh, how I’ve missed you.” You turned around and hugged him tightly with your arms around his neck taking in his scent. Slowly all your worries disappeared and slowly the energy creeped back into your body. Jungkook was like your only charger in this world. The only one who could make you feel happy despite everything.

“You look incredible. Have you lost weight?” Typically of an idol to compliment your weight and inquiring if you really did lose weight.

“Maybe by accident. Did you gain weight though?” You cupped his cheeks in your hand and tried to examine him.

“I only gain muscles.” He said while showing off his arms. You quickly squeezed his arm and were surprised with the hardness of his muscles.

“Missed me that much you had to escape to a gym?” You gently teased him.

“You don’t even know half of it Y/N.” Taehyung said while walking passed Jungkook toward you. Out of all the boys Tae might have been your favorite member of BTS. Not only was he good-looking but also the nicest human being you had ever met. He quickly enveloped you in a big hug.

“I feel like Jungkook has a lot of explaining to do.” You said as soon as Taehyung ended the hug.

“I’ll make sure he never lies and tells you all the nasty details without filter.” His words were more directed toward Jungkook than you.

“I would love that Tae. So how was tour?” You asked the two boys while walking inside with your arms around both their shoulders.

“Sooooo…” Jungkook started. “What’s new?” He asked excitedly.

“Soooo…” you mimicked his adorable behavior. “How was tour?” You asked him trying to ignore his question.

“I’ve already told you about that Y/N. I feel like we’re only talking about me lately and I want to know more about your life.” He tried to get you to talk.

“There is nothing to tell and even if there was it isn’t as exciting as your stories.” This was the second time you were trying to ignore his questions about you.

“Your stories are always interesting. I can’t think of anyone who is better with words than you are.”

“That’s a lie and you know it.” You laughed.

“I never lie. Have you been working on your stories?” How long were you going to ignore his inquiries? This was starting to get hard.

“Not as much as I would’ve liked but there is some progress.” You told him, which was a big fat lie. You hadn’t written anything after a well known publisher told you to f*ck off.

“That is good news though. Can I read some?” He asked you so innocently, you almost wanted to admit your failure of a life to him.

“Only when it is fin-“

“finished. I know.” He completed your sentence and a small smile appeared. Sometimes you forgot how fond you were of the boy sitting cross legged across you.

“Please Jungkook, tell me about your life? What is new? Do you have fresh scar? Is there anyone who caught your eye while I wasn’t in the picture to distract you?” He rolled his eyes at your desperate attempt to change the topic from you to him. Which kind of worked as he started to blush.

“What is it? Why are you blushing?”

“Nothing, but there might be someone.” The blush on his face got bigger and redder.

“Who? Tell me everything.” You cried out.

“We started texting a while back and she’s finishing her tour in a couple of days and then her band will take a little break like ours. We promised each other to make time and have a little date.” He blurted out and you could immediately tell he had waited to tell you about this girl, who is not you.

## flashback ##

“So this is the last time Y/N is going to join us here?” Taeyhung asked sadly with a big baby pout. BTS had debuted two years ago and were finally getting a bit bigger. Their looks were starting to get better and they left their bad boy imitations, which were cringe to say the least.

“Don’t blame me Tae, blame Jungkook. He thinks I’m a distraction because you all work less when I’m around.” You pretended to be hurt but in reality you weren’t. You knew they worked less when you were around and you really didn’t want them to lose focus of their goals which were finally getting closer they could almost touch it.

“I never said you weren’t welcome anymore. You’re making this a way bigger issue than it really is.” Jungkook tried to reason with you but only making things worse.

“You literally just said I wasn’t welcome anymore. So I’ll never set foot again in your smelly dorm.” You said with crossed arms trying to look hurt.

“Please Y/N, don’t do this. Please forget what I said, you are always welcome.” Jungkook pleaded with you and you couldn’t help but smile at his pouty face.

“It’s okay, Kook. I won’t leave you.” You said while cupping his cheeks with your hands. He tried to escape but you weren’t letting him go. You both locked eyes and he immediately stopped resisting and just stared at your face as if you were the only one that mattered.

“You guys are so disgustingly cute sometimes.” Taehyung said while walking away from the two of you.

“He is right though, we’re disgusting.” You said while averting your eyes from his intense gaze.

“I think we’re just cute, not disgusting.” The words escaped his mouth in a little pout.

“Maybe he is right and we’re both.” With that being said the both of you burst out laughing. The kind of extreme laughing your belly would start to hurt after a while. The kind of giggling which left you breathless. The kind of happiness only Jungkook could give you.

## end flashback ##

Yes, there might have been a time where you thought you and Jungkook would’ve ended up together. That thought was easily broken when you had your first boyfriend and Jungkook started to keep his distance out of respect for the other guy. Jungkook was always traveling or working and because you missed him so much you fell into the arms of another guy. Someone who started out as a dream guy but slowly turned into the villain of your story.

“I’m glad you’re finally dating. It was about time.” You happily said while clapping your hands in excitement. There was a soft pang of jealousy at the pit of your stomach but you easily ignored the feeling.

“When are you going to date again?” His question came out as a whisper. A very insecure whisper.

“I date.” You defended yourself while trying to avert your eyes from his questioning ones.

“Really? When was your last date?” He asked you.

“I didn’t know you were going to be so up my personal life. I would’ve made you a FAQ if I had known you were in such an intrusive mood.” You tried to joke away the awkward questions.

“It is not intrusive but more of a bit concerned about you mood.” His eyes softened and again you were close to pouring your heart out to the guy.

“You don’t need to be concerned about me. You need to be concerned about you and your date.” With your words being said he turned into the shy Jungkook you knew and loved.

“I’m so nervous Y/N. You need to prepare me.”

“There is nothing for you to prepare. You’re an amazing person Jungkook and if she doesn’t see that than she is not worthy of your time. But you told me you were texting her?” You asked him genuinely interested.

“Yes, I’ve known her for a while now but last month at an award show we talked for the first time. She immediately gave me her number and Taehyung told me to text her the next day if I didn’t want to screw up.” He blurted out in one breath.

“Tae can be wise. That was indeed a good tactic. We’re too old to play games. If you want to date someone there should be no waiting two days before you call.” You said while nodding your head.

“Girls like that?” He asked you unsure.

“Girls like it when a guy makes an effort to talk to them. We girls like to feel special.” You softly explained to him. It wasn’t his fault he knew so little about the other sex. He had lived a shielded life with you as the only exception of a non idol person in his environment.

“I missed you so much Y/N. You’re the only one I can talk to about this fragile subject. The other guys are barely more experienced than I am.” His eyes were filled with emotions you couldn’t quite explain. They used to be filled with love and affection for you but there has been a shift. He has traded these eyes for someone else and you were left with something different you couldn’t pinpoint what exactly.

“I’m always here for you Jungkook.” You told him your eyes filled with regret. You would always be there for him but will he stay by your side through thick and thin? Through a relationship? Trough everything?

## flashback ##

“Who is the guy you are dating?” Jungkook asked you a bit too loud. Everyone stopped the conversations they were having just to listen to your answer.

“Well, we’re not really dating. We’re just hanging out, you know.” You softly told him. You tried to keep your voice down and hoped Jungkook got the memo.

“That’s dating.” He shot back. The other people in the room tried to start their discussions again as they noticed the private atmosphere hanging round you and Jungkook. Why was he acting like such a d*ick?

“Why are you acting like this?” You hissed.

“You could’ve told me sooner.” Jungkook tried to unfist his hands as he was finally calming down. He never wanted you to be angry so every time he noticed you getting worked up, he just stopped being an ass. Or at least he tried.

“I wanted to tell you in person and not through face time as this is a very personal and important matter.” You calmly explained to him.

“How long has it been going on?” He whispered silently.

“A month or so. I don’t know exactly when it all started.” You tried to clarify but it was all new for you too. You had never considered dating anyone and when Eunwoo happened to cross your path you tried to fight it off as long as you could.

“Are you happy?” There was something in his eyes making your insides go soft. But you ignored these feelings.

“I really am, Jungkook. Eunwoo is a great guy and I would love for you to meet him.”

“If he’s that important to you, I’ll make an effort to like him.”

“That’s all I’m asking Jungkook. Now can we continue eating and feasting as we haven’t seen each other for four months or do you want to keep being an ass to your only best friend?” The both of you started laughing as he put his arm over your shoulder. You leaned into him, taking in his smell at the same time Jungkook kissed the top of your head. This was your safe place and you wouldn’t want to trade it for the world.

## end flashback ##

“Remember to smile.” You told Jungkook while you were doing his hair.

“I can do that.” He said more to himself.

“Also remember to listen to her. Not just listen but ask her small questions about whatever she was talking about. Otherwise it would just seem like you were waiting for her to stop talking so you can start talking.” You stopped tugging at his long hair and took a step back to admire your work. Jungkook was in full date outfit and mindset. There was no way this was going to turn sour.

“Do I look good?” He asked you shyly.

“You always look like the most handsome man in the room.” You honestly complimented him while your hand hovered over his cheek. Your hand never touched his face as he was going to date another girl. That girl was going to be the only one allowed to touch his face like that.

“Thank you.” He grabbed your hand and held it in between his hands “for everything.” He finished.

“What are best friends for, right?” You tried to swallow the lump in your throat. There was son way this date was going to fail. So deep in your heart you knew this was your last moment with Jungkook without having to control your hands. His eyes were looking for yours but you tried to ignore this stare. The moment your eyes would lock with his, you would start to cry and to be honest, he doesn’t deserve that kind of negativity before a date.

“It is time for me to leave.” He said while standing up. His hands never let go of yours though so you were forced to also stand up.

“Ok, have a good time and remember to listen to her.” You said while taking your hands out of his. He was on his own now. You couldn’t hold his hand forever, you know.

“Yes, and something about never smiling.” He joked, which got a laugh out of you.

“Honestly, if you smile or even if you don’t, you’re still the best guy to date. You’re a real catch, my friend.”

“It’s a shame we never dated.” He started which got your heart beating double its normal speed. “You deserve a good guy to date.”

“I’ll find him when the time is right but please Jungkook, leave before you’re too late and blame it all on me.” You said trying to ignore the butterflies in your stomach and the lump in your throat. He kissed your cheek and left to go to his date. You fell to floor, feeling drained. It was a first, having to pretend to be happy and cheerful around Jungkook as he usually got it out of you without a problem. But today you had to feign your smile and it didn’t feel good.

#bts #bts jungguk #bts jungkook #jeon jungkook #jeon jungguk #bts fan fiction #fan fiction #fluff #angst #bts x you #Jungkook x you #bts x Y/N #Jungkook x Y/N #jungguk x reader #jungguk

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