#i literally didnt even get to the wedding of it all i can't think about that without crying

[mdzs-owns-my-ass-i-guess]

Most iconic Xie Lian moments according to me

Contains spoilers!!!

"Xie Lian didn't know whether to laugh or cry"

Keeping every memento of his worst time ever as a reminder of why being kind and forgiving is worth it

When he runs off after he gives Hua Cheng CPR that one time pretending he's looking for his hat

When he keeps roasting Xiao Ying's looks even as she's dying

When he was a prince and he was told his future looked dark and he said that can't be cause he only wears white

Eating food off the ground

Building his own temple, we love a girl boss

When he pet E'Ming like a little puppy after being explicitly told not to ever touch it under any circumstances

Putting Banyue in a pickle jar

When Wuming said he would follow Xie Lian to the death and Xie Lian went "youre already dead"

Breaking rocks on his chest for money

Being trampled to death as general Hua, doormat core

The whole Fangxin Guoshi arc, whew 🥵

Carrying around a big ass bag of scraps everywhere

When he became jealous of Hua Cheng's special someone not realizing the very obvious fact that he was Hua Cheng's special someone actually

Slapping tf out of Qi Rong for making fun of Hua Cheng being blind in one eye

Pretending he had no idea who Nan Feng and Fu Yao were

When Mu Qing and Feng Xin were freaking about how creepy the Ten Thousands Gods Cave was whilst he found it incredibly romantic

Being a bit too into pretending to be Hua Cheng's puppet on Mount Tonglu

Feeding into E'Ming's praise kink

When he disguised himself as a pregnant lady to be possessed by the evil fetus spirit and it worked

When he disguised himself as a woman so badly he looked hideous and needed help to not look like that

When he spent the entirety of the Xuan Ji capturing business in his wedding dress disguise, including meeting Pei Xiu like that

It hurts, it hurts, it hurts-

When his response to the sex pollen was to kill himself

"I do not worship god, i am god!"

Every single sweet and tender interaction with Hua Cheng's butterflies that everyone else is terrified of

When everyone ignored him in the communication array because he was cringe

Getting drunk on a tombstone with little ghost fire Hua Cueng after his life fell apart

Controversial but i think his calamity era was also iconic and very sexy

When Heaven's Eye said his lips are exuding evil energy and he turned bright red

And then later when Heaven's Eye said the evil energy is inside him and he immediately changed the subject

Recognizing literally everyone despite their disguises but keeping quiet about it not to embarrass them.

Calling Yin Yu boring and forgettable looking to his face

Defending Hua Cheng, evil ghost king, in front of the whole entire Heavenly Emperor

When he was working in the rice field with Hua Cheng and he kept staring

Being poor

Having ridiculously bad luck

Ascending three times

Big daddy issues even with his dad still alive

When his life had just fallen apart and he didnt know how much a lantern could cost because he had been ridiculously rich all his life

Holding up a massive temple from falling apart???

Kissing Hua Cheng for spiritual energy in front of literally everyone more than once

When he could hear rats talking???

Adopting children

Not iconic Xie Lian behaviors

His abhorrent cooking

Trying to kill himself???

[mythicmanuscripts]

What do we think about the boys with a Stark Spouse who brings a lot of blankets and furs from home to add to the bed? Especially with Aemond slowly growing closer they first seek out their blankets for comfort meanwhile Aegon and Jayce are just face planting into them after a hard day.

Love your writing btw!

This idea is so fucking cute I adore this.

I've kept this answer SFW but we can absolutely continue this concept into NSFW themes so if anyone would like to read that or has their own thoughts on it, let me know!

-------------------------------------

AEGON:

So my immediate thought here was that you'd bring one of your blankets to your new shared quarters with Aegon. Even though you weren't actually staying there with him every night yet, you just wanted one of your comfort blankets there. Aegon immediately zeros in on it when he first enters the room and that's when your realise that he might have a thing for soft textures.

As you get closer, you have a servant put one of the blankets on the bed in his private quarters for him. When he spots it he literally just stands in his room crying for a little while until he composes himself enough to go looking for you and thank you.

Once you get closer, Aegon absolutely loves stealing all the blankets and nuzzling against them. You keep on adding more blankets thinking he can't possibly steal all of them and you keep on being proved wrong. Of course he can steal all of them.

And when Aegon discovers the absolutely incredible sensory experience of cuddling you naked with one of the blankets wrapped around you both? Well good luck because he's just found his sleeping position for the rest of his life.

JACE:

I don't know why, but I like the idea that Jace gets very cold very easily? Especially before falling asleep. And he's also very particular about fabrics and how they feel against his skin.

You learn both of these things before you marry him during the countless hours you spend chatting and getting to know one another, and so at some point during that time you gift Jace one of your favourite blankets. At first he tries to say he couldnt possibly accept this from you but then you promise him that he can put pack on your joint bed after the wedding and well... he blushes so hard he has to hide behind the blanket.

So anyway, yeah he loves them too. I also think he'd put blankets all around your chambers? There's always a blanket on your favourite reading chair or at your dressing table, just in case.

Also, because Jace is a gentleman at heart, he always ensures you're nice and warm before bed. Even if you've just wrecked him, he'll still double check you arent cold and that there isnt any part of you the blanket isnt covering. He takes is very personally if you get cold, absolutely not he must ensure you are always comfy.

AEMOND:

Aemond wouldnt even know about your blankets at first because he most certainly wouldnt even consider entering your private quarters for the longest time. Even when you get married, he's still very strict about only ever going to your shared quarters and having a servant summon you there.

As you get closer though, I think maybe he'd find himself outside your room? He didnt mean to, but he was so frustrated, (Sidenote: I think one of the first things Aemond realises when he meets you is that you just... get him? You never ever make him feel frustrated, you always understand him, he never has to explain himself to you or worry about you being confused when he tells you things). So one day when he really was considering just pushing Aegon off a balcony, he finds himself outside your quarters, like his subconscious knew he would only be able to relax in your presence.

You're surprised to see him, but you let him in of course. You pull him onto your bed, letting him cuddle up to you and discuss what's gotten him so worked up. Once he's sitting on the bed, he kinda just strokes the blankets in awe? He's never felt something so soft before, and when you notice his reaction you immensely grab another blanket and wrap it around him. He pulls it tighter over his shoulders and leans against you.

After that, Aemond comes over to your quarters every single night before bed. He'd lay in bed with you and discuss his day, hearing your advice and listening to you telling him about your day. Even when things get sexual, he still comes to your private quarters first and then goes with you to your shared chambers. You try to say he must just summon you to the shared chambers because then it would be much easier but he refuses.

The way I picture it is that Aemond's actual quarters and your assigned shared quarters would be near Aegon and Alicent's quarters? All the most important people are close together and very well guarded. Before your marriage to Aemond you stayed in one of the guest rooms that were on the other side of the keep. Aemond absolutely loves this, loves that he can come to you and be comfortable and he feels so much safer because his family is physically further away.

(One last sidenote: maybe you track down a floor or tower that hasn't been used for years in the keep and you get the servants to help you make it into a living space for you and Aemond? It's far far away from everyone else and the only people with keys are you and him)

[lovemyromance]

"He hadn't gotten that far in his planning" is so misinterpreted by the fandom and it's so crazy to me because I immediately understood how Azriel's as feeling in that moment.

He's been obsessing over this beautiful woman, so at odds with his scary Illyrian warrior Hewn City torturer self. She already has a mate. She is for all intents and purposes - unavailable. He can't even sleep because of thoughts of her and he genuinely thinks there is no way she returns his feelings.

How could she? His self esteem issues make it clear he finds himself undeserving of love. His self hatred after his ... work experience ... makes him feel like his skin is too blood-stained to even touch her. He reveres this woman, people! How could it not be obvious? He compares her hair to the sun at dawn, for fucks sake.

Imagine this big hulking scary Illyrian Warrior sighing over a cutesy doe-eyed woman in a sundress. Just picture it.

Now, let's put it into perspective. Elain Archeron has a mate. She doesn't want him, but Azriel, who respects his fae religion has no choice but to respect the bond. From his understanding, he is sitting there torturing himself that such a wonderful woman got stuck in a mating bond with a mate who doesn't even stick around - and he is pining after her, losing sleep over her - and yet she's NOT his mate?

And then while he's having these conflicting thoughts, doubting his entire religion for her, questioning fate itself - she slinks downstairs and breathes "Yes." Offer and permission. She gets aroused when he touches her neck. She tilts her head up, for a kiss from him.

OF COURSE HE HADN'T THOUGHT THIS FAR AHEAD, YOU FOOLS! HE DIDNT EVEN THINK SHE COULD RETURN A FRACTION OF HIS FEELINGS. WHY IS THAT SO HARD TO UNDERSTAND?!!!

*deep breath*

Let me put it this way: You fall in love with a billionaire man who is engaged. You're like "oh I love him, but he's so out of my league and already taken." Yes he doesn't even like his fiancée, but that doesn't mean you can make a move on him obviously 🙄 . Plus, again, he's so far out of your league you can't even imagine he'd like you back.

Except one day he kisses you. Your brain short-circuits and you're like "shit omg I didn't realize he liked me back omg omg". Your fantasies of him had never even gotten this far - why would you have made any plans for the two of you?

It's not like you were out here planning your wedding with him while you weren't sure if 1) he was capable of liking someone like you 2) he is literally already engaged

That's what his entire POV was about folks. Him being awed that a woman like that could ever like him back. That shows reverence. A quality every single SJM has had and demonstrated for his endgame partner.

Stop acting dense people! It's not a good look!

[gaytommykinard]

ok im ignoring my adult responsibilities because i am a tired sleepy girl today and writing isnt happening and i've been on twitter and

the most baffling thing is the b*ddies/antis insistence that tommy is WRONG and BAD for buck, when in fact, canon has shown us time and time again that buck is crazy about tommy. he's so heart eyes. he's so smitten.

let's revisit some CANON facts, shall we?

he explicitly says he called tommy and asked for the habror tour because he wanted to get to know tommy ✓

he said "that guy is cool i like that guy" referring to tommy, to his face ✓

he said he was trying to get tommy's attention because he likes tommy and he wants tommy to notice him, to like him ✓

he said "i can't stop thinking about him [tommy]" to eddie after he had the opportunity to come out to eddie when he felt comfortable and prepared to do so ✓

when he was so upset about ruining the date by acting like a fool and asking maddie for advice because he doesn't want it to end there! he likes the hot pilot! he feels back for panic-shoving him back into the closet by overcompensating with those cringe-ass ridiculous comments (when tommy had already told eddie that they're just hanging out, grabbing a bite, going to a movie. bros being bros) ✓

he called tommy and asked him to meet him at the cafe and apologised for his foolish behaviour because he 100% acted like a fool ✓

even after tommy says "you dont need to apologise" "you didn't behave badly" "i ended the date early because i didnt want to pressure you" buck insists he acted badly and wants to apologise to tommy. BECAUSE HE CARES ABOUT TOMMY. HE DOESNT WANT TOMMY TO THINK HE'S AN ASSHOLE. ✓

he invited tommy to be his date to the madney wedding and insisted he come, throwing excuses at him like "there's free food! (please come) you know half the people there (please come) my sister wants to meet you (please come) i need someone to dance with (please please please)" ✓

his face literally lights up when tommy shows up at the bachelor party he's walking towards tommy with his arms wide open like HUG ME HUG ME ✓

he looks tommy up and down and calls him a beast and proceeds to eat his face in the hospital lobby surrounded by other patients and nurses etc. his man showed up to be his date to a disaster wedding happening in a hospital room and buck went NUTS about him ✓

the way he looks like a proud boyfriend when tommy is getting the medal ✓

the way he's ready to bite gerrards head off for implicitly calling tommy a gay slur ✓

the way he's shamelessly flirting with tommy while they're having a lowkey dinner together at his place and the look on his face like he was about to pounce on him ✓

THERE'S ALL THIS! IT'S LIKE! THERE'S ALL THESE THINGS BUCK HAS SAID AND DONE THAT SHOW HOW MUCH HE LIKES TOMMY! THE WAY HE LOOKS AT TOMMY, THE WAY HE'S SMILING LIKE 90% OF THE TIME HE'S WITH TOMMY! IT'S UNDISPUTABLE!

but they have to insist that tommy is problematic, that he's wrong for buck, he's a bad person, because, what? buck doesn't have the capacity to judge for himself whether the guy he's fucking is right for him or not? he's wrong to be head over heels & horny for his hot pilot boyfriend? like he's not a grown ass man making decisions for himself for who to date and who to fuck and who to bring as his plus one to important events and who to go home to after a long stressful day?

if you love evan buckley so much, why are you taking away his agency like that?

[the-s1lly-corner]

A, B, D, G, H, K, and M for Slenderman pls 😍

Fluff Alphabet w/ Slenderman!

but with these letters :3!

A (Attraction)-

I'm still hooked on the idea that Slenderman is inherently curious, especially when it comes to humans. Sure he may find a lot of them a nuisance, but he can't help but look over them. Because of this I don't think Slenderman would have much of a type. Just don't be belligerent and really you're all set. Though... he has a soft spot for those who carry respect for nature, and have an interest in the supernatural. He doesn't get many people to talk about.. demon stuff with, you know- even if he ain't much of a talker it's nice to have a conversation or two on something that he can relate to/enjoy

B (Bonding)-

Usually bonding activities are domestic stuff; cleaning, reading together, normal everyday stuff. Which is a little funny considering who we're talking about. Slenderman doesn't have many hobbies, so he's more than willing to join in on whatever you have planned so long as it doesn't compromise his existence or home.

D (Dates)-

While I do HC that Slenderman can, if desired, make a sort of "human skin" disguise in my AU I feel he wouldn't be good at it thanks to. well. not really using it. Whole "there are some demons that can pretend to be people" thing, yk? That said, because of this dates are mostly confined to his woods

which is

fine, if that is something youre into. technology at his place is limited, due to his natural interferences with them. if you still have your own place, though, sometimes he'll come over. not much different, though

G (Gift giving)-

Loves collecting various things; stones, flowers, sometimes he presses plants into stuff to preserve them, makes jewelry sometimes with rocks he finds! mentioned somewhere that he refuses to gift you anything from a victim's corpse, thats a hard fat no, unless its something you need and you live with him 100% of the time (ex. meds, or something else) then that's the only time he bends the boundary

H (Harsh)-

speaking of boundaries, he really really REALLY doesnt like eating in front of other people since he literally. you know. dont ask, dont try to convince him, dont intrude, it will end up ugly

while hes not

unhinged, he can get angry; not that he would hurt you but rather he would isolate himself from you or even push you away out of the woods

very firm boundary

also no posting him, that ones kind of a given

tends to soften up after cooling down, though, especially if you're mortal. he's painfully aware that the time he has with you is limited and he'd much rather not waste it. apologizes for any mean behavior, but stays firm on his boundary

K (Kisses)-

very rarely does the thing where he rips his face open to reveal his mouth, and he doesnt really use it for kissing. tying back into the whole feeding thing he doesnt want to kiss you with the same thing thats used to consume humans

though, he does appreciate when you kiss him where his mouth would be

likes bumping his 'face' against your lips, forehead, and the backs of your hands

M (Marriage)-

he never really thought about it, but to be fair he didnt think he would ever have a partner at all. obviously, there wouldnt be a traditional ceremony or legally binding thing, but he might make a make shift ring and give it to you. due to slenderman being solitary there wouldnt really be any. wedding guests, and having your friends/family come over may also put him and them in danger

tough situation, really, but it is what it is

if you want him to, he will stage a wedding and set up a place in the woods, though

the proxies are good enough as guests, as are his brothers, right?

[sugar-omi]

BIG FAT ORANGE CAT. I LOVE IT HERE. YOUR CAT IS MINE NOW RUNS AWAY WITH MY TIDDIES OUT

DUUUUUDE. i would've crashed out so bad omfg the sibling interrupting trope is SO GUT WRENCHING. (and can probably relate to olba. somehow.)

BUT LIKE YEAH NO IT GOT HOT. LIKE WE WERE MAKING OUT FOR A GOOD LIKE FIFTEEN MINUTES. HIS TONGUE AND FINGERS WRE IN MY MOUTH ON SEVERAL OCCASIONS. MY SHIRT ALMOST CAME OFF. I STILL HAVE HICKIES.

and GOD. the way he was fucking whining and panting into my mouth the whole time?? the way he made it impossible to arch with how heavily he was pressing against me??? the way he pulled away at the end of it breathless and whimpering, begging me to "stop feeling so good against [him] before [he stopped] being able to hold back"???? i had to take the bus home because if i let him drive me back to the dorms i would NOT have gotten back before midnight.

we agreed not to put a label on it yet, that we'd keep things light until we figured out what we both felt and what we both wanted without jumping into anything too early...BUT THE TEXT I GOT THIS MORNING. "but i wouldn't mind if we did. that. again"

HHHOOOOOOLY SHIT. OMI THIS CANNOT BE REAL.

i am now making it my mission to seduce this man into being all mine. i'm committed now.

STOPP NOOO HE DIDNT SAY THAT!!! NO WAY!!!!! usually im not crazy over the "i cant hold back" line but im so obsessed rn.... he's literally whipped. obsessed. a ximi lover. XIMI KISSER!!! HES LOCKED IN!!!!!

ALSO FINGERS ARE CRAZY. THATS. OH MAN THAT IS 🥵🥵🥵 AAAAA ALSO YESS HICKEYS ARE SO CRAZY. I LOVE IT.

AND PRESSING SO HARD AGAONST YOU YOU CANT EVEN MOVE BACK INTO HIM.... OHHH THATS SO COVE CODED. IM WRITING THAT DOWN RIGHT NOW

N THE WHIMPERING. PLEASE. THATS SO CUTE???? I need that so bad. oh my god. I cannot go on....

arghhh you would've had to pry my cold dead body off of him what the FUCK. I LOVE THIS!!! YAYYY!!!!

slow is good. slow is super good. definitely communicate what you want, like if you're a long-term girlie or if he's a long-term girlie but the other isnt/hasn't said that, jus go like "i wanna see how long this lasts bc this relationship feels really good so far"

(must say. idk whats in yalls head, so im jus talking to you like i would any of my friends okie<3333)

or even if ya don't know if you're a long-term type! or whatever!!! I think saying you wanna see how far this goes bc you're having a good time already, is good. it's like. no pressure yk. just wanna explore how deep the water is and enjoy it, and wherever it goes, you're happy with it

n ofc say if you'd like it to be a bf/gf thing. like "I'd like to be committed but rn I'm happy to see where it goes bc I rlly like you (and i wanna get there if possible)"

BUT YESS I SO AGREE WITH YOU ABOUT SEDUCING HIM. LOCK HIM UP!! PUT A RING ON IT!!!!!!

I told u I would immediately be planning our wedding, I can't so slow i am locked in IMMMMEDIATELY!!!

BUT DOMT BE CRAZY LIKE ME LMAOOO JUST HAVE FUN!!! GO ON DATES N STUFF!!!!! omg yknow what. fill out those like, friendship questionnaires. and those partner ones. like it may have things u might not have thought to know abt each other

like some things jus come naturally, but I think a quick way is cute, and sometimes stupid, and mundane dates, and questions like you're back in middle school

eeekk I can't believe we've made this much progress in jus a few DAYSSS IM SO OBSESSED 😫 u must tell me how things go.... my dms are wideeeee open 🥹💞

[chickenmetenders]

"Sometimes a family can be two men and the two guys they abducted."

Assorted headcanons for the MAMIYA DDD Family ending [spoilers abound!!]

Here's a compilation/archive of messages I posted in the MAMIYA fan Discord about a continuation of the Family ending in Keito's route. In my version, Ryou also gets taken into the family along with Osamu, Satoru, and Keito. I call them KORS for short.

This is absolutely not serious or angsty in anyway, because I was writing this as aftercare for Minato's route lmao. I've sorted through my many messages and did some reorganizing, so they're grouped by topic. (Bolded names: indicates a comment from a server member)

Keito's New Family!!

For the first two months of living together keito is terrified, but ryou being 7 gets over the whole thing in like one month. Like this is just his new normal

Keito starts getting over it (stockholm syndrome starts setting in) once he sees satoru teaching ryou how to make takoyaki

You know i think crab takoyaki could work. I dont like crab but crab meat isnt that far off from octopus

Even after Keito gets over the whole kidnapping thing, he still takes a while to acclimate to his new "family". Like satoru osamu and ryou get used to the family situation pretty quickly (because they are not close to their birth families) but keito is very close to his family so he has to grapple with the cognitive dissonance for a good while

By six months time, he's used to their living circumstances and has affection for the three of them, but in his mind theyre housemates, not family. Like when someone asks about keito's family, his mind still immediately goes to his parents

It probably takes a year or so for keito to finally think of them as his family

(Staring at the words i have written) this is not found family, this is forced family

Gizzia: It's found as in Satoru and Osamu found them and kept them Me: OSAMU DIDNT EVEN FIND HIM, KEITO WENT /TO/ HIM!!!

The Mamiyas

Idk how the family thing is going to go. Like theyre changing their legal last name to mamiya???

Scanning over japanese name change procedures and thinking maybe not<3 i think japanese bureaucracy might be worse than american

Maybe its possible that satoru adopts ryou and osamu into his family registry so everyone thinks theyre a gay couple with a child, but then theyd still be samejimas

(It would be better of them to be samejimas instead of arisugawas because satoru owns all the houses. Obviously)

And then keito would be. Well they can't adopt him too because keito's dad is literally satoru's boss

Samejima could fake keito's death and keep him away from his family? BUT I FEEL LIKE THEYD BE FOUND OUT PRETTY QUICKLY IF KEITO WAS LIVING WITH SATORU

Well maybe its a non-legally binding family where satoru and osamu are back to living together again, satoru has pulled strings to get ryou adopted by osamu, and then he twists keitos arm into moving in with them as roommates

(Or keito moves in of his own volition, with his main motivation being that hes SUPER CONCERNED ABOUT LEAVING RYOU IN THERE)

Satoru and Osamu

Would osamu and satoru still be fighting at this point. I think the years apart would have calmed them down a little

Instead of punching satoru, osamu just slaps his a-- you know what never mind. Actually i think they would just verbally argue but without much bite. Because theyre family now

Vaguely remembering that bit in arisus route where osamu was like "we were partners in crime and i was even thinking about asking her to marry me" well osamu you have a new mamiya who you have committed several crimes with so what will you do now.

[Editing note: I want it noted that my brain short-circuited when Satoru was like "I feel like a newly wed bride". why did he say that]

General KORS Family Fluff

Osamu is the one who picks ryou up from school most of the time because he works from home but the first time keito does it ryou is just so happy. Ryou thinks keito is the coolest

Satoru is the one who teaches ryou how to cook so when hes older ryou ends up with really weird culinary skills. He does not know how to fry an egg sunny side up but he can whip up hollandaise sauce like its nothing

Satoru starts ryou in some kind of martial arts class and osamu hates it because ryou keeps trying to show osamu his skills (ie punching him in the leg)

Keito is still playing in a college lacrosse club and the whole family comes to watch his games. When ryou cant see over the crowd (i dont know what lacrosse games look like sowwy) satoru puts him on his shoulders

Osamu and keito take turns reading ryou his bedtime stories. Sometimes when they both have time they both read to him. Osamu is really good at the evil monster voices and robot voices, and keito is better than him at doing female voices

Despite being shorter than keito, satoru cannot fit into his jackets and coats because his shoulders are just to broad. He can fit into some of osamus longer coats because osamu likes buying clothes a size or two too big. Few of their clothes are viable hand me downs for ryou because he grows up short

Wait. But maybe ryou would grow up to be taller in this scenario because keito makes sure he drinks his milk. So maybe he would fit in their clothes

Satoru's Parental Tendencies (& other adults in Ryou's life)

(Growing realization) i think after keito and ryou move out for work/college, satoru would have the worst empty nest syndrome imaginable

(Assuming osamu satoru or keito doesn't set their house on fire with everyone inside in five years time)

Satoru ends up like a clingy overbearing mother who gets really upset when keito wants to move out for his Vaguely Defined Future Career and only calms down once osamu is like "uhhh dude chill" and keito promises to facetime every day

(I just think this is really funny because keito has his own family who is alive and who he is on good terms with but his actual mom puts up way less of a fuss than satoru)

After that satoru starts redirecting all his attention and affection towards ryou and is just overall insufferable

Ryou: im thinking about going to kyoto for college Satoru: absolutely not you will choose a school in tokyo and you will live in this house

Satoru is the strict parent who is prone to hysterics and osamu is the laissez faire parent who has to console his wife (i am of course delusional). Its like a sitcom

Keito rounds off ryou's Trio of Adult Figures as the unconditionally supportive older brother so i think between the three of them, ryou grows up to be pretty okay??? As okay as you can be when youre a member of the Mamiya family ig

They all frequently go to dinner at the suou's too so ryou is decently close to keitos parents

New Car!!

Anyway. If they all moved in together, satoru would have to buy a new car

Now i think a honda accord would be a good car for a family of four, but it might be a bit cramped if two of them are over 6ft tall, so it might be better if they had an suv

And also satoru loves his foreign cars so he wouldn't buy honda anyway

Okay so the volkswagon touareg could be a good option because it is a luxury suv from germany. However pre 2006 this suv was REALLY big so i dont think it would fit very well in the streets of japan

Cheese: samejima also is really big and doenst fit well in the streets of japan

Suvs werent as big of a thing in 2003, so maybe satoru would go for a sedan anyway... If satoru's going to gravitate towards european luxury brands, then the mercedes benz s class would be perfect for him. Its about the same size as a honda accord

Phle: [the Mercedes Benz S Class was] like literally my old car, it was a 2003 model too

During my playthrough of DDD, the KORS family au helped keep me sane. I think it's a neat idea. i think if it actually happened (and Osamu and Satoru took Ryou in as well) they would've started murdering people within the year, but this isn't about that!! If I wanted insane angst, I would replay DDD Keito/Ryou.

I kind of want to write some sort of fic about this weird family... But after playing EX, my brain has contacted the natsumiya virus and I haven't been able to stop thinking about that. So we'll see lol. I might archive some of my AU twitter threads for that ship onto tumblr, too, because I'm pretty fond of what I wrote.

Wow, this is the first time I've made a post like this on tumblr since I left in 2019! Writing longform is pretty fun.

[yourdemiurge]

hello mady i am extremely late i just finished reading erik's chapter! this week's been so busy! I saw that you had updated and i was ripping my hair out because i couldn't find time to read but i finally did it today. I am proud to say that reading it has only made me rip out more of my hair I am confused, terrified, heartbroken, angry, gobsmacked, jumping out of the balcony because WHAT IS GOING ONNN AAAAA

the scene about the bird really had me screaming wtf!!!  I was so confused why wille told erik he didnt love simon that one day and now it makes sense oh my god- (i really hope im not clowning) i had to go read chapter 4 again and the way wilhelm asked erik "why did you do that" makes sense nowwww I love how the everything's coming together this is so exciting MADY

THE CONVERSATION BETWEEN ERIK AND SARA TOOO OH MY GOD (again hope im not clowning that'll be very embarrassing when the fic comes to and end)

getting more insight about the characters is so interesting, loved the part about erik's hillerska days. I hate him now but that's okay he deserves it.

I legit wasn't suspicious of erik as much as i was in august but good lord you've just plucked my pea brain out and tossed it into an endless pit. i literally sat still staring at the wall for like 5 minutes after reading the chapter. I already had trust issues they are multiplied now.

the conversation of a royal wedding made me cry btw that was very heart wrenching i did not want that today (do it again i love sadness)

almost forgot to mention that i absolutely am in love with the chess metaphor! your writing is so freaking goooood

as usual, can't wait for more mady! i can't even imagine how good it'll feel to re-read the whole fic again once it's finished and find that the clues were there all along! 

i also did a little something because i had time today 👉🏼👈🏼 I've been thinking about doing this for a while because i really love tdlp and i so badly wanted to make a cover! im not good but i tried! there's two with only a tiny difference, im leaving both of them here because i am extremely indesicive. they are really choppy tho rip my butter fingers (i legit had to give sara rhinoplasty because I accidentally erased half of her nose and noticed it a little too late💀) i also didn't add marcus i swear i thought about it i just couldn't bring myself to do it- anyways, hope you like them hehe💜 take care of yourself!

Hello, it's so nice to see you back in my asks! Your message has me 😭

I don't really know how to thank you enough for all the love you've shown for my works, especially TDLP. I mean, just look at this reaction! And those wonderful edits! You're amazing and very talented. I wonder if you have Twitter? I was hoping to share this.

But seriously, thank you so much 💜💜💜

Your interpretation of Erik is right so far, and I'm glad you read his very first POV chapter because it all relates to each other. Brace yourself for the next chapters, we've just gone up the rollercoaster and we're about to take the plunge soon.

[blissyx]

"I guess I always have to just give in. Then it'll all be ok."

Does that make me happy? No. That's not what I want to hear. i want you to TRY and understand me. I want you to SHOW ME that you understood why I was angry and what the issue was. I don't want to be some dictator! I'm not looking to be one!!!

He never tries to understand my emotional needs and just call it my meltdowns and me going crazy moments. I don't even know why I'm still with him during times like this. He does NOTHING for me. NOTHING.

Why am I such a weakling? Why can't I just grow some balls and tell everyone the wedding's off, everything's off, and I'm not settling till I find someone far better (which I feel is unlikely). Why can't living be easier? Why do I have to live with so much anxiety and crippling depressing thoughts that beat myself up anytime it can?!?!?! I HATE MYSELF. I know people will just say "then change who you are. Nobody's stopping you." If only it was that easy. "Oh, but it is. All you need to do is..." Oh, get off your high horse and shut your goddamn freaking mouth. Live my life with my brain THEN tell me again!!!! ARGHHHHHHHHHH.

Why couldn't I have gotten someone who is more emotionally smart/mature........ Or at least someone who bothers to learn about it..................

I got angry. I knew i needed space. I knew. I knew. I knew. I knew. I have anger issues. I have triggers. I needed space. But. He. Refused. To. Give. Me. Space!!! He blocked the door. He insisted that I continue the conversation that he had painstakingly continued earlier for my sake and that it was unfair me to stop the conversation now just because I got upset! I got upset because my mind IMMEDIATELY interpreted his discomfort with friendly banter about his religion as him being not open. He even said that he didnt want to have this conversation/banter again. That pissed me off because being open was one of the main qualities why I had chosen to be together with him. I thought he could take friendly banter and challenge ideas/norms/things around us together. I felt like I was cheated. That was how I interpreted it. I became upset. I immediately dropped the sudject and said, we don't even have to continue it now. What's the point? What's the fun? I wanted to go around and do my household chores BUT HE DIDN'T LET ME OUT. He even said me being upset with him being uncomfortable was forcing him to continue a conversation he was uncomfortable with?!?!?!?!

WHY. THE. FUCK. AM. I. IN. THE. WRONG. After all that had happened and he finally calmed down enough to realise he should have given me space when I asked for it, and I had asked for it NICELY, properly, for the first few times, then he has the cheek to conclude with the phrasing, "I guess I always have to just give in. Then it'll all be ok."

I can give him the benefit of doubt and think he doesn't mean what he said that literally but IT STILL SUCKS. That feeling like I'm just a dictator and he's a follower now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT.

[pencil-urchin]

My notes are a little less organized than usual, so please bear with me because I'm trying some new stuff to prevent my posts from getting lost!

*ahem*

WE HAVE KISS!!!

WE HAVE KISS!!!

ALERT!!! ALERT!!!

LIGHT THE DIMMADAMN BEACONS!!!

LET GONDOR KNOW!!!

LET NASA KNOW!!!

LET AR'ALANI AND ELI KNOW!!!

LET EVERYONE FUCKING KNOW!!!

*ahem*

Now, back to things in order.

Thrawn got "too hot." Uh-huh. Sure buddy. Sure you did.

Or rather, which kind of hot are we talking??? 🥵

Absolutely cannot believe that Thrawn is just out touching stuff with his damn fish hands. Idk what diseases you can get from raw fish, but I hope he ain't been cooking chicken because we don't know if Chiss are immune to salmonella!

I do have to agree that while the food sounds divine (I'm allergic to fish, but lemon & dill are always good), I'm with homegirl and think a little blueberry would be a much tastier breakfast.

Thrawn! FFS there is no such thing as perfect! The only perfection is because it's with you!

💙

LMAO THRAWN KNEW THE WHOLE TIME!!!

OMG THRAWN KNEW THE WHOLE TIME.

Thrawn bringing up the incident in the library just made me think of Clue, made me think of the weapons in Clue, made me think of The Pipe, made me think of porn made me think "Thrawn, in the library, with the pipe" but in a sexy way, not a murdery way.

Tbh, I'm actually really glad Thrawn dealt with their age gap the way he did. He gave Reader a chance to live her own life, have her own experiences, and be her own person before coming to her and in so doing avoided any of the gross groomer stuff that could have been a problem with a 40 year old just outright dating a 20 year old. Very responsible, and even if Reader ended up in a bad situation, she did so as her own person, and living her own life, which is so, so important. I just hope he doesn't beat himself up over not acting sooner, thinking he could have saved her.

And now? Now that Thrawn has proclaimed "only Reader" just...HNGH...

Keep talking, blue boy, and we're going to town right here on the kitchen floor. It's probably the only thing you didn't touch with your fish hands.

Footsie? 12/10, yes, adorable, absolutely love, very cute.

Shopping trip!!!

LMAO reversed shower temp trope! Love to see it, for real!

Note to self: Gorgeous dress, must draw!

Kudos to Thrawn for being sensitive to the fact that being spoiled with things is a possible trigger, less so for being so blunt about it (but also, it's Thrawn, how else is he gonna be?). And major Kudos for finding a solution to ease homegirl's mind and heart and take away that anxiety.

Omg you KNOW this man has planned the damned wedding of his dreams like a teenage girl and you KNOW it's adorable.

OMG the tailor is amazing, love him, adopting him now.

LMAO Thrawn is basically wearing what my husband wore for our wedding (he didnt have tails)

Squeeeeee~ purring and kisses is so cute!!!

I would let him tell me all about roccoco for ever and ever

I BLAME FUCK-ASS NATHER FOR THE MEAT MISHAP I STG IM GONNA KILL HIM

You tell 'em, Thrawn! No excuse for that!

T_T he toast with him juice, so cute 🧃

DANCE??? YES PLEASE???

Karyn Faro is the real hero of this goddamned galaxy and i will hear nothing to the contrary.

I LITERALLY say this to my husband all the time.

He basically responds the same. 💙💙💙

HNGH can't stop kissing SO HOT, yes get on that couch and ride him girl!!!

DAFUQ THRAWN WE HAD LIFTOFF AND YOURE ALL "ABORT MISSION???"

***I*** HAVE BLUEBALLS FROM THAT LET DOWN

BRO JESUS FUCK WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO YOURSELF?

No, WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME???

For real! Thrawn! What the hell???

A step in the right direction

Part1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31

Tags : fluff, domesticity, date, first kiss, reader is disabled

You have a full week to enjoy Thrawn presence before going back to work, what will you do ?

FemaleReader x Thrawn

You wake up to an empty bed. You blink and yawn, stretching your spine. You lay your hand on Thrawn’s side of the bed, it’s cold. He’s been up for a long time already. You yawn again and pass on your fluffy dressing gown, open the shutter to let light enter the bedroom and head to your living room.

You find Thrawn sleeping on the couch.

You don’t know why he didn’t stay in bed with you. Maybe he felt a bit ill… Also it is quite exceptional for him to sleep this late. You tug on the plaid to cover up his shoulders and kiss his cheek, enamored by the picture. His face is so relaxed like that, he looks like a true angel. You nuzzle your nose with his cheek and his eyes opens instantly, well awakened.

“Good morning, mister.” You caress a strand of hair out of his face.

“Good morning, cha’cah.” He responds with a soft tone, caressing your cheek with his knuckles. “Did you sleep well?”

No you didn’t. Even if you didn’t have a nightmare this night it doesn’t mean you didn’t have a bad dream about your trauma.

“Quite well.” You lie to not worry him.

He looks at you straight in the eyes with an indecipherable expression.

“Really?” He insists.

“Yes!” You smile for him, a broad, large smile.

He doesn’t believe you, but doesn’t insist more, leaving you your privacy.

“And you?” You divert the discussion to him, “Why sleep on the sofa when we have a fluffy mattress?”

“It was too hot for me.”

“You felt uncomfortable? You want to get rid of one of the covers?”

“Do not worry about that, Cha’cah.” He raises his head to kiss your cheek tenderly. “Let us enjoy breakfast together?” He proposes.

You prepare caff while he’s cutting a loaf of soft white bread for you. He doesn’t consume white bread, too unhealthy and not enough nutrients. You look at him taking out a portion of Spira salmon for himself and you get more and more distressed at how he’s prepping it.

“Thrawn, I do not think this is a good way to prepare fish, you're cross-contaminating every utensil.”

He looks at you with what you think is surprise in his eyes.

“This is how I always did.”

You frown in disbelief.

“Nobody ever told you it was dangerous?”

“I rarely cook with someone else present.”

“Do you usually cook? Like at all?”

“I prefer going to the mess halls or wardroom or eating the dishes the droids prepared for me.”

You shake your head, sympathetic. Apparently he is as clueless in the kitchen than in politics.

“Let me help.” 

You cut the flesh of the salmon in manageable quarters, and spread oil in a dish.

“First you're gonna cover the salmon quarters with butter and add a pinch of salt.”

He obeys as you grate a lemon over a bowl. His movements are swift and precise even if you realize he doesn’t know what he’s doing. You gave him the lemon.

“Now add the juice and the zest.” 

You take out some dill that you wash thoroughly.

“I remember your cutting skills being impeccable, mince that finely with this shallot.” 

And he does succeed, his blade techniques are immaculate. You cut lemons that you put on each quarter while Thrawn adds some crushed garlic and oil as you instructed him to.

“And now you let them cook in the oven. See? It wasn’t so bad.”

“Thank you, cooking is not one of my fields of expertise.” He wipes his hands with a dish towel. “You are more experienced than I am.”

“Not so much, I just learned a dozen of recipes by heart and play with them. That is nothing special.”

You remain standing against the counter when he takes your hand to pull you in his embrace. You hug him tight as he presses you against his warm body. He is so tall and broad, he could suffocate you without thinking about it, but his hugs are always so infinitely tender…

You sigh of contentment, head resting against his chest as he kisses the top of your head, listening to his beating heart. He is so muscular, it is criminal.

“I didn’t imagine you this affectionate.” You let out in a satisfied sigh.

“Does it displease you?”

“Absolutely not.” You hug him tighter “Keep going like that.” 

His hands caress your back and circle your shoulders in a chaste manner, cradling you gently. But your mind wanders elsewhere, being pressed against such a body awakes your desires and you can’t help but think about how thin your pajamas are, how warmth travels from his skin to yours, how you want him to devour you in one go. He’s such an athletic man, his stamina must be unmatched, it makes you drool just thinking about it.

“Thrawn…” You moan and you feel him tensing up under your touch, you part slightly from him to open your dressing gown “I am so hot suddenly, you want to… help me out?” you mewl.

He smiles lightly and closes back your gown, much to your dismay.

“Thrawn?”

“Do not worry, cha’cah. Everything is okay.”

You try to reach his lips and he stops you, pressing his hand on your mouth. You growl in response.

Why?

“Not now, cha’cah. Let me do it my way, I want it to be perfect.” He licks the tip of your nose, and you hear a faint purr starting.

He presses you back against him and you feel the vibration of his purr through the tender flesh of your cheek.

“Promise?” You ask, full of doubt.

“I promise you, cha’cah. You will not have to wait long still.”

“How long?” You press, at the end of your patience and on the verge of explosion.

“My, my, are you not an impatient one?” He lowly chuckles.

“I have been waiting for you for ten years.” You deadass respond.

“I know.”

What?

“You… You knew?” 

“Of course.”

You look at him with eyes round like saucers and embarrassment settling in.

“You think I did not notice how warm you get standing next to me? That I never noticed how you crossed your legs in a desperate attempt to calm down your burning core? How squeamish you became when talking to me? Do you think I am blind?” He murmurs in your ears, licking the outer shell with the tip of his warm tongue.

You gasp feeling the warm wet limb caressing your sensitive skin.

“You think I was unconscious when you tried to kiss me in the library?” he keeps teasing you.

You feel your whole body burning with desire and your cheeks burning with embarrassment.

“You were awake?!” you choke.

“I was.” He blows at your ear, his hand slowly going down your body, “You did well to stop in time.”

“Or… Or what?” all your words crash in your mouth.

“Or I would not have been accountable for my actions.”

Does… Does that mean that he would have had you on the table like that or that he would have manhandled you to stop you?

“Me… Meaning?”

“Do not fret about it, cha’cah. You stopped just in time, and that was for the best for both of us.” He nibbles your ear.

“Okay…” You say a bit relieved and a bit afraid.

He keeps playing with your ear, teasing you as he chuckles and you can’t refrain your yelps under his touch.

“So… When you proposed we sleep in the same bed, you were playing with me?”

“No. I would not have disrespected you like that. It was just the most practical solution.” He caresses his fingers through your hair.

“But if you knew, why not come to me sooner? Why wait ten years?”

“You were too young for me.”

You pout at the revelation, frowning your eyebrows and pursing your lips.

“Do not look at me like that, cha’cah. You were barely 20 when I was already 40, I needed you to mature and grow, to flourish into the great woman you are today.”

“I can’t believe you didn’t count me as a possibility because I was “too young”.” You wince

“Nobody was a possibility at that time.”

“And now?”

“Now there is only you.” He kisses your closed eyelids.

His hand caresses your lower back, ever so slightly sliding the tip of his fingers past the hem of your little short. You inhale sharply at the sensation of his warm palm against your colder skin.

“Thrawn…” You moan again as his other hand slides under your shirt to caress your back.

“Mmh?” He murmurs, eyes closed as he rests his chin on the top of your head.

“I want you.” You confess.

“Me too, cha’cah.” He kisses your forehead and tugs on your shirt to reclothe your properly “But I should not get your hopes up.”

He kisses your forehead one last time and parts from you to take out the salmon out of the oven, leaving you arms dangling, mouth agape and craving for more.

“Breakfast is ready.” He announces and he starts serving the quarters.

You sit down, body boiling and mind bubbling. You eat little mouthfuls, hands trembling, you were so close to have him but he cockblocked you last second. 

Two times!

He takes a bite and his pupils widen instantly.

“This is delicious.” 

“I am happy you like it.” You try to smile through your distress.

You both remain silent for the rest of the meal but under the table he slides his feet to caress yours. Your bite almost fell out of your fork as he plays footsie with you with the sternest expression, completely unbothered.

You finish your meal as best you can trying not to flush furiously.

“Do you have something planned for today?” He asks you out of the blue.

“Hum, not especially. It was supposed to be a slow day today.”

“Good. I will be taking you shopping this afternoon.” He says standing up to clear the table.

“For what occasion?” You ask, surprised.

“I am taking you to the Pinnacle tonight. I have a table reserved for us two.” He casually explains.

Your last bite took a wrong turn.

“The Pinnacle? But you have to wait more than ten months to have a table booked here!”

“Do you think I came to see you unprepared?” He raises his eyebrow like it was obvious “We are booked for 20h.” He kisses your temple and leaves you to take a shower.

You await your turn, legs dangling off the bed, squirming like a little girl. A dinner at the Pinnacle? As a first date? He really goes strong! You giggle to yourself, excited like a child, you feel like 16 again. You let yourself lay down on the bed, listening to the water running next door and realize that there is only a thin wall separating you from his mighty naked body. Instantly your imagination starts running wild, remembering the time you spied on him at the waterfall and how good he looked at the lake with only his boxers on. You bite your lower lips, you’re way to horny for your own good.

With devious hopes you knock on the door and he invites you to enter the bathroom, you open the door in a swift movement and are immediately disappointed.

He’s already fully clothed.

Blast.

“A problem?” He asks innocently.

“No.” You pout, better chance next time.

He put on a white chemise, a waistcoat and black pants, one of his three civilian outfits. You realize he’s applying his red eyeliner under his eyes. You observe the very meticulous brush actions on his blue skin. You’re absolutely fascinated.

“You want to help me?” He asks gently.

“I can?” you’re surprised and caught unaware.

He hands you the brush and the pigment and takes a chair to sit as you delicately manipulate the brush to adorn his beautiful face. You hold your breath, careful to not make a clumsy movement and ruin the make up. He lets you do, fully trusting you with his eyes closed, you trace the lines of his favorite pattern under his lower eyelids, trying to replicate it the best you can. 

You’re so close to one another, you feel his breath on your chin and he must feel your on his closed eyelids. You gently hold his cheek to prevent him from moving, feeling the warmth spreading through your palm.

“It’s almost finished.”

“You can add some modifications if you want.” He tells you softly.

“I can?”

“Of course, you really progressed with your makeup techniques these last few years. I will be your canvas for today, be creative.”

“If I do it, you will do mine?” You propose.

“As you wish.”

You add scrolls and dots of red with the brush and a gradient burgundy eyeshadow that melt in the marvelous blue of his skin and outline it all with some golden eyeliner, giving him a sharp look.

He takes the time to observe himself in the mirror, looking at every angle.

“It is successful.”

“You like it?” you ask full of hopes.

“I do.” He confirms “Take your shower and I will paint your visage.” He tells you with a soft smile.

You undress and enter the shower, and immediately scream in pain. Thrawn comes back running, knocking at the door.

“Cha’cah? Is everything alright?”

You open the door violently, shaking.

“What kind of shower do you take?! It is scorching hot, I burned my entire body!” You fulminate, still feeling the bite of the boiling water on your skin.

He passes his hand under the water without wincing.

“Is it? I find it quite relaxing.” He seems confused.

“Relaxing?!” You repeat astonished “This water is well over 60°!”

“I am sorry, I will remember it.”

No taking showers after Thrawn, noted! He looks in your direction and immediately looks away like he is embarrassed.

“Could you please put on your nightgown instead of simply hiding behind that thin towel?” He makes the conscious effort not to look at you.

You look down at yourself, realizing you're just holding the towel in front of you, barely hiding your bare body before his eyes. You were so taken by surprise you didn’t cover yourself better.

“Out, mister!” You order, indicating the door.

He silently exits the bathroom and you take a nice, COLD shower. 

You dress up and let him enter back to do your makeup. You could fall asleep under his gentle brush strokes, it’s like a facial massage. You give him total control, letting him have his fun as he did to you. You relax under his warm, careful hands.

“There. What do you think?”

You turn to the mirror and gasp. That is not how you do your makeup at all, it is a totally different technique but the result is so… Exotic.

“Oh wow.” You let out, approaching your face to the glass.

“I tried to match our makeup.” He explains.

“I love it, actually.” You admit, admiring your profile. “When did you learn all those techniques?”

“We use makeup to express our affiliation to a family early on in our life.” He informs, tidying the makeup case. “Shall we go?” He turns to you with sparkling eyes.

You take his hand and head to the department stores of Coruscant.

-------------------------------------------------------------

You quickly found THE dress. You saw it in a shop window on a mannequin and dragged Thrawn into the boutique. This is a marvelous long, velvety dark green dress that hides your mechanical legs, which the other dress didn’t. With off, flared shoulders and a twirl of fabric drawing scrolls and roses on the skirt you can’t help but twirl in front of the mirror while Thrawn refuses an nth glass of champagne proposed by the employees.  You pull on the skirt to observe your legs. They are only practical and crude, not at all made for a fancy setting and you’re afraid they might spoil your fun. You know they allow you to walk again but you can’t help but hate them a bit.

“Do you like this dress?” Thrawn asks, slouching on a sofa like a king.

“Yes! It is beautiful! I love it!” 

You take the tag and choke at the price. It’s worth more than 5 months of your paycheck. 

“Ouch!”

“A problem?”

“Yes, the price. I don’t have the salary for it” You wince.

You take a final look at you in the mirror, appreciating how it hugs your forms and accentuate your complexion. Too bad…

“You are not paying that.” He simply says.

You turn to him, outraged.

“Thrawn, I won’t let you pay for that dress, it’s unaffordable!”

“Not for me.” And like that he summons an employee with the snap of a finger. “We will take that dress, do you have any set of jewels that would accord with it?”

“Thrawn!” You say, choked and embarrassed.

“Of course, sir.” The employee bows “I will show you our jewelry. Right this way.”

You’re being ushed back to the changing room with a female employe to help you dress and undress, she meticulously folds the dress and put it in a velour box and hand it to you with a broad smile.

You join back Thrawn observing the shiny jewels, listening to the advice of the employee, giving him the different carat of each piece. You take him by the arm and drag him to the side.

“ Thrawn, what are you doing?”

“I am paying you a dress you love?” He responds equally confused.

“Thrawn, this dress and those jewellery are prohibitively expensive! You can’t be serious?”

“I am always serious.” He drily answers “What you do not want me to pay for you?”

“Because… Because…” Your mouth suddenly dries.

“Does it remind you of him?” He tilts his head.

You dig your nails in your palms, uneasy. Nather used to buy things he loved, not really caring for your comfort or taste.

“In a sense… Yes.” You let out in a shaky breath.

“Then what if I buy them on credit?” He holds his chin thinking.

“What?”

“I pay for you today, and you will repay me in the future. Would it be more comfortable for you?”

That… could work…

“I… Yes. I would prefer that.”

He delicately holds your chin and kisses your forehead.

“Let us choose those jewels, then.”

He brought you back to the jewel stall and helps you choose diamonds you truly like. It makes you feel dizzy to wear something so pricey, what if you broke them or lose them somewhere? 

You finally settle for an orichalk necklace that mimics a grapevine with little shiny diamonds as flowers here and there and a pair of chandelier earrings. You don’t even ask the price, it’s better for your heart to wait a bit.

Next stop is finding a costume for Thrawn and it is proven more difficult, no stores can accommodate his stature, it’s always too short or too tight and uncomfortable While he chooses and tries different ones you're tapping away on your comlink to find the next boutique. You’re going back to him when you localized a tailor down the road while an employee that just took his measurements embarrassedly admits they don’t have his size.

“We’ll have more chances at the next one.” You cheer him up. “We’ll have to exit the department store tho.”

“I am not worried.” He simply says, gentlemanly carrying your bags.

“It’s a little boutique but surely they would have more choice, those are artisanal costumes they should accommodate a wider range of bodies and… Thrawn?” You look where he standed to realize he’s not here anymore.

You turn back on your track and find him looking at a shop window. As you approach you realize it’s a wedding boutique, displaying their wedding dresses. His face is stern and calm but his gaze his fixed on the white fabric.

“You… Want to enter?” You ask, a bit shyly.

“No. That would be premature.” He shakes his head.

You look at the beautiful dresses. A glimpse into the store lets you see happy couples trying on the dresses and costumes, you hear laughter and joy. 

You feel his hand sliding in yours and intertwining your fingers.

“Shall we go?” He asks 

You nod with a smile and you walk out hand in hand. You’re on a little fluffy cloud. You press yourself against him and squeeze his hand as you feel lighter and lighter, giggling like a little girl.

“Why are you laughing?” He asks, genuinely curious.

“Nothing. I am just happy to be with you.” You broadly smile.

He squeezes back your hand in a dignified silence and you reach the little boutique.

It is a charming little room with false wood packed full with clothes and fabrics of all sorts. 

“What do you might want?” the Mirialan tailor asks behind his counter, working on a vest.

“I am searching for a tail coat.” Thrawn explains.

“And several civilian outfits.” You add, taking out a waistcoat off a shelf.

They both look at you, Thrawn with questions in his eyes, he only searched for a costume but you feel like this boutique could finally complete his wardrobe.

The old man stands up with his tape measure.

“Let’s see what we are working with.”

While Thrawn gots his measurement taken for the nth time today you rummage through the shelfs, hangers and mannequin.

“You are quite tall and large sir, I see why you had trouble finding a costume to your measure.” The tailor comments, unphased.

“You have something for him?” you ask.

“No.”

“Oh…” You lower your shoulders, disappointed.

“I will need to do some touch up on my costumes. You’re lucky I am quite quick at it.”

“So you can do something for us?” You inquire full of hopes.

“Yes. But searching a costume for the same day is a stupid idea.” He berates.

“We are busy people.” Thrawn explains.

“That’s what they all say, and who do they come crying to after? Me.”  The tailor grumbles, “Choose your costumes, I will touch them up.”

You have fun having Thrawn trying on chemises and vests, you try different fabrics, different colors, different shades.

“Is the buttons to your liking?” The tailor asks.

“Yes?” You respond unsure “They’re just buttons…”

“That’s where you’re wrong lil’miss” He chastises you very seriously “Buttons make or break the entire character of a costume, you have to harmonize them with the fabric, the shades, whether or not you wear rings… You don’t happen to wear rings, do you?” He turns to Thrawn.

“No I do not.”

“So those are not the correct ones.” 

He opens a very, very large drawer with a complete collection of different types of buttons.

“Oh I like those ones!” you indicate.

“I am gonna make the call if you don’t mind.” He responds, grumpy.

This man doesn't like to be told how to do his job visibly. You go back to Thrawn who’s looking for different pants.

“Find something that tickles your fancy?” 

“Perhaps.” 

“You are darn lucky I had hems to each of my pieces!” The tailor shouts from the other side of the workshop.

You pout, looking in his direction before showing your finding to Thrawn. You tried to add some pastel colors to his wardrobe but he isn’t as keen as you.

“Try it on again.” The tailor comes back with the black tail-coat.

“Already?” You ask dumbfounded?

“You think I am some kind of newbie?”

Thrawn reappears with the tail coat, suiting him perfectly. For all his bad behaviors this tailors really know his work. It's really impressive.

“Woaw.” You let out.

“Do you like it?” Thrawn asks you, observing himself in the mirrors.

“I mean… You have such a figure in this. Do you like it?”

“It seems proper to me.” He flattens the black vest on his gray waistcoat.

The buttons the tailor choosed are, indeed, better.

“Try those ones.” He gives Thrawn black costume shoes. “You know how to accord those?”

“The belt?” Thrawn answers.

“Indeed, remember: the belt with the shoes, the tie or the scarf with the clutch and never, and I mean NEVER more than 3 colors or tone on tone. If you follow those rules you should be good.”

“They didn’t tell us that at the department store.” You think out loud.

“Of course they didn’t. They burn your eyes with glitters and gold but they don’t even know the first thing about tailoring.” He grumps, tidying the clothes you didn’t choose.

You exchange a glance with Thrawn, this man takes his art very, very seriously.

“I’ll send you your touched up clothes in two weeks.” He informs, folding the tail coat in a small briefcase and putting the waked shoes in a box. He hands you a large bag and pretty much shoos you out of the boutique.

“Well, that was an experience.”

“You think? I think I appreciate this man.” Thrawn responds deadpan. “But he was right, finding a costume for the same day was risky.”

“Well, we got one. And you look absolutely gorgeous in it, so I’m not complaining.” You rise to kiss his cheek.

You feel him shiver at the contact of your lips and a low purr starts.

“I love when you purr. This is soooo… Adorable.” You nuzzle your nose to his cheek.

“Glad you appreciate this quirk of mine.” He takes your hand and guides you back to your ship.

--------------------------------------------------------

Thrawn gallantly opens the flying car’s door to you and extends his hand for you to take support, you’re in no heels so you don’t need to but you still take his hand. He escorts you under the shining lights of the Pinnacle, everything is golden and sparkly and you can hear classical music coming from the dining rooms inside. You walk on the marble floor, trying not to slip on your long dress concealing your hideous mechanical legs. All around you the guests are as prestigious as Thrawn, you recognize Governors, Ambassadors, Moffs and you’re almost afraid you’ll cross paths with Tarkin. The footman guides you two to your table and the decadence starts. They brought you different entree and side dishes to start with numerous types of exotic breads.

How are you supposed to eat a full course dinner with so many plates? You’re only at the first entrees and you’re already practically full. You try your best to keep your manners in check to not shock anyone around you while Thrawn is more relaxed, his naturally elegant manners are surely not a problem for him.

“I think I am already full.” You sigh when you see another entree of vegetables is brought to your table.

“I told you not to eat too much at noon.” Thrawn grins slightly, taking a sip of water from his crystal glass.

“I was under the impression that the chic restaurants’ portions were ridiculously small.”

“You have been proven wrong.”

He keeps to plain water while you indulge in pricey champagne and wines, but knowing the place it must be pure source water of some mountain somewhere. You observe the dining room you’re in, it imitates the rococo style of some former human empire you don’t really know much about, Thrawn knows however and you let him narrate every style choices of the architecture and its cultural meaning. Him who’s usually so silent speaks so much when it comes to art and you gladly shut up and listen to his deep melodic voice explaining to you why the crystals of the chandelier are of such color and not another one. You eat all his words up, asking questions to keep him going and he gladly answers, serving you long tirades as you eat your expensive seafood.

The room is circular with a dance floor at the center, circled by the dinner tables. The musicians are on a balcony, presiding over the dining room. The floor is a waxed, shiny wooden floor supporting different white stone columns. The walls are white with golden moldings and decorations of  nymphs and fauns.

The food is delicious, rich and creamy, melting on your tongue. You almost moan of pleasure at each bite. This is so good!

“Are you enjoying yourself?” Thrawn asks softly.

“This is a delicious soiree, Thrawn. Thank you so much.” You smile brightly at him.

“My pleasure.” 

Finally the main courses are coming, the dinner finally advances.

The waiters brought you your dish under a cloche for the reveal. They come in perfect synchrony and rise up the cloche.

Your smile dies down and your stomach sinks immediately.

Meat…

You feel a cold sweat down your spine and nausea rise.

Not meat.

Everything but that.

Since that revelation…

“I said no meat for us.” Thrawn immediately warns the waiters with an icy cold tone. “Send it back immediately.” The tone calls for no discussion and the waiters turn back with the dishes in their hands, apologizing profusely.

One of the butlers sees you sending back the plates and comes checking in.

“Is everything alright Sir and Ma’am?”

You just take your napkin to your mouth, holding your stomach uncomfortably.

“No.” Thrawn answers darkly, “I specifically asked for no meat dishes for me and my fiance when I reserved and one still managed to find its way to us.”

“I am truly sorry Sir, it is intolerable. I will castigate my teams as they deserve. Maybe another bottle of wine free of charge would appease you?” He commercially proposes.

“I need fresh water…” You weakly inform.

“Of course, Ma’am. Right away.” And like that, he is gone.

Thrawn extends his open hand to you. You weakly meet him with yours, trembling.

“Are you alright, Cha’cah?” He gently asks, with worry in his eyes.

“I… I think it will pass.” You say as the malaise slowly dissipates.

You can’t touch meat since that day… You can’t even smell it without being violently sick.

“I am sorry, do you want some fresh air on the patio?”

“No… No, it’s good.” You deeply breath in and out, searching for another subject to take your mind off of it “Say, what does “cha’cah”means? It isn’t the first time I hear you say it.”

“Well, “ He smiles enigmatically, caressing your finger with his “In cheuhn it means “beloved” or “most dear”.” 

You feel your cheeks heating up instantly, you almost want to hide your face behind the menu.

“Oh…”

“Does it displease you?” He tilts his head.

“No! No at all.” You reassure him. “It is… It’s an honor for me to be called such by you.” You say embarrassed and heart puffing up with love.

He leans over to gallantly kiss your hand. You feel your heart on the verge of explosion.

“I am glad.”

“Can I give you a pet name too?”

“Of course, I would be honored.”

“Love?”

“I would be most touched.”

“Darling?”

“It sounds sweet to my ears with your voice.” He caresses your hand fondly.

The butler comes back with a jug full of water and ice and a second one with an expensive red wine bottle.

“Would this appease the worries we caused you?”

Thrawn takes the bottle to check it.

“It is acceptable.” He just responds, keeping them on their toes for what they’ve done to you “Bring me some fruit juice, I am tired of water.”

The butlers bow down and leave you for your dinner.

Red fish is brought to you with a creamy herbal sauce. You eat slower to not upset your sensitive stomach and you still feel yourself trembling a bit. Thrawn serves you another champagne glass when his juice reach your table.

“I would like to raise toast.” He announce to you.

“Oh!” You take your glass in hand, “In what honor?”

“Yours. I did not have the time to congratulate you for your recent promotion.”

That’s right! 

Your promotion to Commander.

You were so excited to see Thrawn for a week you completely forgot about that.

“Is that why you asked for juice?” You cheekily ask.

“I was not envisioning myself raising a toast with plain water.” He humbly confesses “I am happy to be able to celebrate it at your side tonight, cha’cah. My congratulations, you deserve it.”

You clink your crystal glasses and take a sip.

“Would you offer me this dance?” He asks standing up.

Your sip almost goes the wrong way.

“I… Right now? Here?”

“Yes.” He looks you in the eyes, resoluted.

“Its just… I only managed to walk with those legs, I’m not sure I can…”

“A good thing is the man who leads, then. Take support on me, Cha’cah, I will hold you firmly.”

You take his hand after hesitation and you walk to the center of the room, where other couples are already dancing. He places his hand firmly on your lower back, pressing you against him and takes your hand gently in his.

“We are not supposed to be this close.” You remind him with a side smile.

“What if I want you that close to me?” He responds without missing a beat and starts waltzing with you in his arms.

You twirl in your deep green dress like wings, a bit unsure of your legs at first but you quickly find your rhythm and dance with all your soul with him.

“Thrawn! You’ve been practicing?” You realize suddenly.

You remember the Academy ball, he managed to save his face for one dance but the way was long and tortuous, but now he seems so much more at ease, sure of his steps and not fighting against you.

“I asked Commodore Faro to help me.” He reveals.

You can’t help but laugh imagining them both trying to dance in Thrawn’s office, Karyn must have had so much difficulty to bring him to such a level.

“Well, she did a really great job. You are a fine dancer now.”

“Thank you.” He slightly bows his head to the compliment, “You still have it yourself.”

You dance, wrapped in the melody, feeling the warmth of his body against yours, eyes fixed on his face.

“Why such a blissful smile?” He asks, maybe a bit embarrassed to be fixed that close?

“You’re just so gorgeous.” You say unembarrassed, “And that tail coat suits you so well. You are such a handsome man I sometimes wonder how you can be real and how I managed to have you.”

He lets out a humble chuckle.

“Thank you for all those compliments. I ask myself the same questions about you.”

You feel your cheeks burning again and you press your cheek against his chest to hide your face from his gaze.

You keep turning, waltzing among the other couples, close to each other. You focus yourself on his beating heart like a soothing melody.

And finally the waltz ends.

“Follow me to the balcony.” He murmurs in your ear.

The night is fresh and the balcony is empty of people but full of flowers and plants. You caress one leaf with the tip of your finger as Thrawn closes the glass door behind you.

“(Y/n)?”

You turn to him with a little smile, awaiting fo him to speak his mind. He comes close to you and kisses your hand delicately again, his other hand comes caressing your cheek, you can’t help but lean into his palm with a contented smile.

“(Y/n)(F/n), I love you.” He says so low you barely hear him.

He presses his forehead to yours, still caressing your cheek.

“Do I have the permission to kiss you?” He asks.

Your heart skip a beat and your stomach ties itself in knots.

Your first kiss, finally.

“Do I?” He repeats at your silence.

“Yes!” You exclaim with joy and and excitation “Yes you have it!”

“Close your eyes, please.”

You close them immediately and lick your lips, ravenous, excited like a child.

“I am going to kiss you now.” He murmurs, holding both of your cheeks.

You feel his breath on your lips then an incredibly tender sensation and warmth as your lips finally meet. The kiss is soft, light, overflowing with love but you feel real fireworks in your stomach. His thumbs gently caress your cheeks and you hear yourself growling for more. You feel his lips stretch in a small smile and a faint purr starts. You circle his shoulders with your arm and hold the back of his head to deepen the kiss. He obliges and the soft kiss becomes something more, something ravenous and full of desires. You feel his hands sneaking their way in your back, pressing you together to his hot body. The purr is now loud and echoes in the night. You hungrily respond to his kiss, parting your lips for him to enter. He gently bites down your lower lips before kissing you again, entering your mouth to meet your tongue, hugging and dancing with it.

He reluctantly parts with you when he feels you panting for air, by reflex you try to follow his lips as he moves away to not end the kiss but he stops you in your track with a peck on the tip of your nose. You pant heavily, eyes darken with lust and desire and the feeling to be deprived of a tasty candy.

“There will be more.” He promises you to calm you down.

You damn well hope there will be more kisses!

But for now he gently holds you close on that fancy balcony, cradled by the sweet music and the laugh of the guests and for the first time in months you finally feel truly at peace.

-------------------------------------------

The kisses are hungry and heavy, robbing you both of your breath. You don’t know how but he manages to open the door of the apartment without stopping to kiss you. You enter, almost tripping on one another and the door closes back to give you intimacy.

You deeply growl, burying your nails in his vest, almost tearing the expensive fabric apart. You suddenly push him down the sofa and he lends with a “oof.”. you don’t leave him time to ask questions, you straddle his laps and embrace him with your arms.

“Eager, are you not?” He manages to mock between your kisses.

“You have no idea.” You answer darkly, filled with a dark energy.

You dishevel his black blue hair, biting down his lips harshly. By instinct you start humping his thighs and moan against his lips. You feel his burning red gaze on you, embolding you.

“Do you like how I kiss you?” You ask between two kisses.

“Yes. Very much so.” He breathes in response.

He takes a fistful of your hair while grabbing your butt. You moan against his mouth, letting your hands travel south to his belt. You try to unfasten it,clumsy with your haste, shaking with excitement, but his hands come to seize yours, immobilizing them.

You look at him without understanding.

“No, Cha’cah.” He simply says “Not tonight.”

You lower your shoulders, clearly disappointed.

“Oh… Did I do something?” You worry.

“No.” He shakes his head and kisses your cheek. “This is me. I am the only one at fault.”

He keeps peppering your face with peck as you register that he just served you the bullshit “it’s not you it’s me.” excuse.

So you definitely did something. 

You must have.

But what?

Away from your inner turmoil, Thrawn captures your lips again for a softer kiss.

“Hold me close, cha’cah.” He murmurs in your ear.

So you hug him tight as he kisses your neck, his hands on your back, cradling you.

But you can’t help thoughts spinning in your head.

-------------------------------------------

He sighs.

Tonight again he can’t bear to sleep next to you.

He feels his body tensing up and his muscles rolling under his skin. His breath is short and his heart pounds in his chest. He gives a side glance at your asleep self, face relaxed and breath deep as you sleep soundly.

He must get out of this bed, of this bedroom.

The kiss was a bad idea, he regrets it now. He takes a very needed cold shower and heads to the living room and lays down the sofa for another night again.

Away from you.

He sighs again, much more at ease and comfortable and finally drifts off to sleep.

@bluechiss @justanothersadperson93 @al-astakbar @thrawnspetgoose @readinglistfics @twilekchiss @pencil-urchin @ineedazeezee @mssbridgerton @dance-like-russia-isnt-watching @Cortisolcosplay @obbicrystaleo, @germie2037

[kodzuken]

i’m at work right now too high five for wasting company time! ✨

how do you see a buddie proposal/wedding going? who asks who?

i am the biggest supporter of like. buck wants to get married, wants to call eddie his husband, but he knows how Rough eddie's first marriage was, so he's accepted the fact that marriage might never be in the cards for him, and honestly, buck's okay with that, because what he has with eddie -- the partnership, the love, the devotion -- all of that is more than he ever thought he'd get. so he can deal with being common-law with eddie, because he's not going to complain when he's finally with the love of his life

and then there's eddie, who wants to marry buck so fucking badly that he's pretty sure he's started having stress dreams about it. except eddie is still kind of stuck in the "i was a bad husband to shannon, what if i'm a bad husband to buck too" mindset, and him and frank have a ton of sessions where eddie just. unlearns that thought process, realizes that the person he was with shannon and the person he is with buck are completely different people, because this eddie, the eddie of the present, has put in the work to get better. and most importantly, he didn't do it for buck -- he did it for himself, and that's what makes it meaningful, that's what makes it clear to frank that the mistakes he made with shannon aren't going to be repeated with buck

that was a very long winded way of saying i think eddie asks buck LMAO. my favorite trope re: proposing is eddie trying to come up with something elaborate and spectacular (because buck deserves the grand gestures he gives out so freely) but something keeps going wrong, every time. like the madney scene in 3.13, except it's happening all the time. and eddie is sort of like "holy shit buck was right about the universe, and the universe does not want us to get married". and then he calls adriana and sophia (<3) and they tells him that he's being fucking stupid, and that there isn't a perfect moment or a right time. adriana says eddie you of all people know how unpredictable life is. don't waste it and eddie says holy shit and hangs up the phone on his sister's laughing

and he grabs the ring from his sock drawer and just goes right into the kitchen where buck's been working at a muffin tray that got batter burnt onto it. and buck's standing there over the sink, with his stupid pink dishwashing gloves on, and his tongue is poked out in concentration, and eddie is so fucking in love with him that he doesn't know where to put it, sometimes, and so he just says, "hey, baby?" and buck doesn't even look up, too focused on his pan, but he says "yeah?" and eddie says "i love you" and buck does pause at that, because it isn't like eddie is quiet about his love for buck, but sometimes it makes buck fall short anyway, the fact that eddie diaz loves him, chooses him. and buck says, "i love you too", and eddie smiles that little vampire smile, the one where his teeth poke into his lip, and he says, "if i asked you to marry me right now, what would you say?"

and buck drops the tray with a loud bang and turns to eddie, wide-eyed, soapy water dripping from the gloves, and it sounds punched out of him when he says "what?" and eddie asks again: "what would you do if i asked you to marry me?" and buck laughs, half-hysterical, because he knows he's allowed to have eddie, to love eddie, but he didn't know he was allowed to have this. and buck says "you're an idiot, eds," and eddie sort of frowns, but buck presses forward, taking eddie's face in his hands with his wet gloves, knocks their foreheads together. "of course i'd say yes, sweetheart. i'd say yes right now, and tomorrow, and in a year from now. i'd say yes every day for the rest of our lives, if that's what you wanted." and eddie grins again, so wide and carefree and beautiful, and he says, "i just want you, buck. and i want to call you my husband." and then they kiss in the kitchen where all good things are stored <3

help me waste company time! 🕺

[holocephal1]

I posted 1,917 times in 2022

That's 1,317 more posts than 2021!

61 posts created (3%)

1,856 posts reblogged (97%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@argentavis

@fandoms-of-a-random-existence

@tgirlgerard

@goths-eat-electricity

@milfcarmilla

I tagged 1,634 of my posts in 2022

Only 15% of my posts had no tags

#<3... - 223 posts

#ghosts - 216 posts

#tlt - 61 posts

#mcr - 53 posts

#&lt;3 - 42 posts

#yeah - 37 posts

#sandman - 35 posts

#im so. tlt - 34 posts

#ocean - 32 posts

#starwar - 32 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#which is made of copper and rust. you are from a war-ridden planet and the cause of your first death was a starship crash. you sing and pla

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

overthinking kitty's "she hit me!" "she can't!" "well, she wanted to!" interaction about lucy again.

i think its a really good reflection of her experiences and how she's learned to handle things tbh, because its something she says to try and make the others listen to how she's feeling. and i figure a lot of her life was not being listened to about her feelings or experiences, so she resorts to last-ditch exaggerations to try and get her point heard.

102 notes - Posted November 17, 2022

#4

im obsessed with just how much of the captain is about theatrics. because when it comes down to it, he's not... put together. like at all. the flashback we see is meant to be his Element, (and you can put this down to gay panic, or the Everything Else if you like), but he sucks at it, a bit. more than a bit, a lot. he's completely flustered, and doing completely arbitrary things, and its very clear that Havers is the competent one in that situation, especially because he gives functional orders and then is like 'go on listen to your CO.' and its something that comes through with Cap all the time. as much as he's continually reasserting his rank, he's so clearly not in charge. at all. and he's continually trying to prove the Cool and Powerful Leadership part of his identity to the other ghosts- eg. him interrupting in The Thomas Thorne Affair to basically just be like 'look how cool and functional id be if this were me'. and in insisting that he'd wear his uniform even if given the chance to do literally anything else. being The Captain is so integral to the false existence he puts up, and i'd guess he probably used it in life to hide other aspects of his reality from both himself and others, to prevent any sort of questioning. how dare they suspect their CO, and how could he possibly be 'that kind of person' when he's a well respected, high ranking officer?

157 notes - Posted September 21, 2022

#3

thinking about the fact julian died with a wedding ring on and pat didnt..

pls ignore the photo quality in favour of the amout of sad this makes me

195 notes - Posted November 9, 2022

#2

totally unfounded ghosts theory

SO . i was thinking about this image:

a little too hard. and about people saying the thing in the captain's hand might be a tissue. and the idea of cap dying at his medal ceremony has been bouncing around my brain for a while, but i THOUGHT, what if the captain died at a funeral/memorial service? it would explain why he's in uniform, and at button house (given the people stationed there) despite the war likely being over and all by the time of his death. i cannot justify this at all, because my brain isnt working enough to research it without just getting current war memorial events, but! its an idea.

222 notes - Posted September 16, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

i feel like we as a fandom don't talk about pat referring to himself as 'the big bad butcher man' enough

270 notes - Posted November 5, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[pbandjesse]

Today was a pretty excellent day honestly. My wrist didn't hurt almost at all. I slept really well. James was smiling real big when I woke up and I felt good.

The weather was really nice today. That helped my good mood. I woke up very comfortable at 9. But I stayed in bed until 10 watching videos. James came to lay with me and we talked about the day and laughed about stuff. And it was good. I felt very loved.

James left to go on a bike ride and I went to get ready for the day. I didn't have any big plans. I would have dinner with Charlie later. But the rest of the day was open.

I decided to take a shower. It is always nice taking a shower when the sun is coming through the window. Maybe I'll do that more often. Give myself a little more time before work and start the day nice like that.

I got dressed and felt good. I didn't love my eye makeup. I have been playing with the messy eyeliner indie sleaze look but I don't think I love it with most of my clothes. But that was fine.

I went for a little walk to the grocery store. I got a pumpkin cheese tastey kake and went to Walgreens for a soda.

I can fit a 2 liter soda in my purse and didnt even crush my cheese cake.

It was beautiful out. I really enjoyed the walk. And when I got home I had my breakfast sandwich. Which was really a brunch sandwich at that point. And got into my knitting. I was able to do two rows before James came home.

They got cleaned up and we chilled on the couch for a bit before we went to the grocery store. I didn't want much at all but we got some baked goods and many drinks. I was very excited to find vanilla drinkable yogurt, super high protein. And I got a tiny pumpkin. James got us quarters and we went home.

I spent a lot of this afternoon clearing my closet. A lot of stuff had fallen down and it was pretty messy but I had the energy to work on it today.

I decided I should be brutal and get rid of things even if I liked them. Because I have so much stuff that I really like but I just don't wear and I should stop holding onto them. And honestly I could have and should have probably been more brutal in my choices. But I did get rid of a lot. A whole trash bag full. Shoes and bags and belts and clothes. And I pulled out stuff for fall and put away a lot of summer stuff. I wanted to keep all my camp stuff in one place and I think I did alright. It's hard because I have stuff I only wear at camp and the stuff that's summer and transitional that I wear other times. But I did my best to give everywhere a home.

I also just reorganized the suitcases I have to be better used for storage. And moved them to the back of the closet so I can reach them better. It was a lot of work but it felt great.

After that I had James help fold clothes in our pajama drawer. Didn't get rid of a lot there but not none. And really it just felt nice to really see all of my stuff and be like. I'm excited to wear this. I can't wait til it's colder because this will be fun to layer. Oh I forgot about this, I remember wearing this last winter.

Once all of that was done James was doing laundry and I started cleaning a little. I did some organizing in the kitchen but found the floor was dirty and we just have a lot of dust and little bits of stuff and spider webs. So I stated vacuuming but the vacuum wasn't vacuuming. James tried to fix it but then it wasn't charged and so I had to bail.

Charlie called me and we made a plan for dinner. They would come get me at 530.

So I went to lay in bed but then a few minutes later he called again and asked to get me now. And I was like alright. So I got my shoes on.

And he got me in his big stinky truck. But honestly it was great. He's so fun.

We drove to Canton crossing and got five guys. He paid because he's very sweet. We talked about the wedding and the goofy stuff I have to deal with and he told me about going to Indonesia for a month and his surgery on Thursday. He's getting a disk in his back shaved because it's pushing into a nerve. He is scared but also this is going to give him his life back. Hell hopefully be able to surf again. Not in Indonesia but it gives him a reason to go back.

We ate our food at the park by the water. And walked for a while. He told me about the boats and we pointed out every dog. The sun was setting and everything was really pretty and it was nice to be with my friend.

It's so silly that when you have friends that live far away it's almost easier to make plans then when they live down the street. Like he literally is on the same street as me just a mile away. Not even a full mile. But we will try to do better.

We went to his apartment next so he could show me the paintings he's installing tomorrow for his solo show. We got stuck behind an accident but no one was hurt so it wasn't a big deal. Just people not letting people merge and being stupid.

We got around it and got back to his place. It's a new build and was nice. I would have preferred it on the third floor because that street is loud and busy. But still nice. His has the two smaller bedrooms so he can have one as a studio and his roommate has the bigger bedroom.

This was the first time I've been in an art boys apartment rather then a sport boy. And so the furniture wasn't all weirdly facing the TV's. It felt more grown up. It was messy still but it wasn't as dusty. Art was all over and it was fun talking about it.

After the little tour and some art talk Charlie said he was going to paint for a bit and go to bed. I told him he had to deliver me home first. He said no you have to live here now and I was like I will clean the apartment if you make me stay here. He was like 'noooo' and took me home.

He dropped me off and I was glad to be home with that energy you only get after talking to someone about art. So I got in here and after I got something to drink I went and took a shower and got to work on my studio for a bit. I did t actually make much but I got stuff ready to work on tomorrow and I re-hemmed the dress I hemmed yesterday. I decided to take off another inch and it's basically perfect now and I love it. So it was worth it to do it again.

And then I got in bed and I am feeling good. James was at a baseball game and got home a little bit ago. I am happy to have them back.

We also were able to do some wedding discussion to deal with some last minute changes. We had 4 people pull out but 2 ask to come. And that is just fine. The two are actually my highschool best friend, Joanna, and her partner. And I'm so excited she's now able to come. It's been entirely to long since I've seen her and it is just so important to me that she's there. Like teenage me always knew she needed to be there and it's happening and that just makes me feel lighter inside.

And I am hoping that good feeling holds through tomorrow. We have a training at the museum tomorrow and then I'm supposed to go do some onboarding at AVAM but I am not positive because I have not gotten an email when I checked in yesterday. But that is okay! I am still looking forward to the day.

I hope you all have a good night! Sleep good! Take care of each other! Goodnight!

[anarchistbitch]

hi hiiii

before I reply to everything else

Bridgerton.

KSJDJDJSKSKSSK I AM IN LOOOOOOOVE WITH KATE the scenes where she smiled or laughed added 10 years to my lifespan each

Anthony you dumbass bitch (affectionate), that post that said something like 'Anthony saying I'm a gentleman before acting like the biggest whore' so true <3333 I adore him

I feel bad for Edwina but she really was that blind bc those two were eyefucking every single time they were around each other and when they were not eyefucking they were trying to devour the other through their eyes, seriously wtf and come on at the lake she saw Kate staring at sopping wet Anthony and that post about how she kept sending them on dates, sorry baby but 🤡👌🏻

their last scenes together were my absolute favorite, I loved seeing them so happy and in love even if I was also thinking "damn bro, your whole family is right there"

I'll admit I laughed when Kate's accident happened bc it felt so damn dramatic and I couldn't take it too seriously but tHEN I SAW ANTHONY CRYING OVER HER WAKING UP AND I CRIED TOO BITCH THE FUCK

both of them had really complicated views on love and ah, I'm just glad that by the end they get to experience and enjoy it

I still cackle everytime I see a gif of the scene where Anthony smells the air after she walks by and Lady Danbury looks at him SO unimpressed and done ksdjdjdjsj it's just gold

Edwina as her own character was fantastic, I loved her so much, she's amazing and I hope she gets the happiness she deserves

Penelope, oh Penelope, I can understand her actions but I also disagree with some of them, her fallout with Eloise hurt a lot, she got into a very complicated spot with Lady Whistledown tbh, I wonder how Colin will take it when he finds out and how it will get resolved since the queen is so dead set on finding her

Lady Featherington and Lord Featherington made me so uncomfortable ugh despite that I really like Lady Featherington as a character, it's hilarious how most things always end up coming back to bite her into he ass but she is a woman put in a situation that today would be very complicated and it would be even more so in the 19th century so I do appreciate her

another scene that made me cry was the one with Gregory and Anthony in the study, it's just so painful that he doesn't really remember him and Hyacinth never even knew him

the pall-mall scenes were so fantastic, Anthont and Kate rolling in the mud my beloved <33 and the scene at the libry(study?) damn, it just took me out, I need to see Anthony reading to Kate when it storms

I also cried when Lady Mary had her talk with Kate about how she was family and she deserved all the love in the world, took me the fuck out (after Edwina left the wedding and she called Kate her half sister, that felt like a slap and I needed to see them reestablish Kate as an unquestionable part of the family)

my mans the jeweler was hilarious and the true mvp for making Kate try on the ring and when it got stuck? poetic cinema (also, between you and me, when I was little I used the very same tactic he used to get cake, super effective)

Benedict dragging Byron? loved it sksjdjzjzk

Colin and his drug tho ksndjdsksksksk that made me laugh so much too

idk about you but I absolutely hated the way Eloise just went through Penelope's room like that, that would've infuriated me but maybe that's bc my room us very own personal haven

I'm kinda sad that we didnt get to see Kate and Anthony's wedding

I couldn't help but notice how Lady Danbury, Lady Mary and Lady Bridgerton made a widow's club

ANYWAY, those are all the thoughts I can share rn cause hw awaits me, holy week can't come fast enough

take rest and eat good food!

tons of love, M♡

babe im so sorry tumblr glitched and i thought it posted before??? AHHHHH

ANYWAY. bridgerton. yes.

KATHANI SHARMA MY LOVE. i loooved the actor in sex education but in bridgerton idk she just blew it out of the stadium cuz dude. literally cannot stop thinking of the intense eye contact during the wedding scene.

AND THIS SHOT

SIMONE ASHLEY IS A MFING PRINCESS

anthony going"im a gentlemen" while trying not to horny LMAOOO

edwina really set them on a date leading to more anthony horny™ thoughts like dude took one look at legs and kbfksbfkerifehri

like dude they can't NOT look at each others eyes normally its always a)ravenous b) horny c) in LOVE

that scene where anthony is making out with kate in front of his family reminded me of that one zayn malik paparazzi photo where bella removed zayn's hand from gigi's butt cause they were lichrally in public lmaooo

honestly all i could think of during that scene where kate runs on her horse was the headless horseman[yea my thoughts wander a lot] and it def cut the tension but the next episode being titles the viscount who loved me(loved as in past tense freaked me out for a second there)

ppl really watched anthony and kate crush on each other in the most repressed way and collectively thought ,"we should let them handle it on their own" like no!!! interfere!! interfere!!

lady danbury everytime kathony looked at e/o

i love seeing pyramid schemes in different settings but lord featherington was disgustang😒 but lady featherington girlbossed and gatekept!! respect for that!!

oh i was fully on the floor when gregory said that cause the full story of the bridgerton patriarch's death fucked me up man😢 the way anthony stepped up as a father figure to his youngest siblings yea,, ;-;

oh man i didnt even check ao3 for bridgerton yet😳😳 but yea anthony would def read for kate during storms😊😊[the amount of times im writing the names-kate and anthony,,, im gonna say a & k]

edwina getting angry at the wedding was so full of raw anger and betrayal i really loved who that scene was acted out and the way she said "half-sister" . that hurt bad even for me. mary taking the time to reassure that k was a part of the family from the moment she had seen her , that hurt too 😭😭 they care for each other so much and its just. family yk???

that scene with the ring getting stuck was actually a's dad trying to tell a that he should marry k god bless him🙏🏾🙏🏾 [also im p sure the only reason that kate didnt give him cake anyway was cause it wasnt her house cause bro you gotta give ppl who visit ur house smth!! and that cake looked so good too,,]

no one hates byron more than everyone else-benedict bridgerton

colin does the absolute most every season like ?? youre going through a dinner high?? in front of ur entire family??

i think at that point eloise was at a breaking point with all those dead ends and many many scandals that she just had to know but was mostly hinging on penelope admission that yes she was lady whistledown [its like that cassie scene from euphoria s2, they knew the truth by the others reaction] but its was still a huge invasion of privacy. and how did eloise know how to look under the floor too??

i hope we get to see kanthonys wedding soon😔

best of luck on ur hw!!! take care , take rest and stay safe mwah mwha MWAH

[batsgetscensored]

FAVORITE THEON MOMENTS 👀👀👀👀👀

Literally every time they taunt each other and playfully bicker. It's very VERY soft.

Those moments when they try to watch a movie in the livingroom, Icarus strewn across their laps. Tom falling asleep and Leon just chuckling and shooing the cat off so he can pick his husband up and carry him to bed all the while Tom is murmuring that "no no, we havent finished the movie" and whining to go back because he was comfy and Leon simply replying, "sweetheart you'll be far more comfy in our bed. The movie can wait for tomorrow." To which he just gets a little grunt in answer.

When they have showers together and Tom insists on washing Leon's hair because his love language is acts of service and just physical contact and such. So Leon will pick him up to reach and Tom will carefully wash his hair even giving him a scalp massage while Leon allows the stress of work and stuff get washed away.

Their little coffee dates in the fall where they go to their favourite family owned coffee house and get their usual before walking through the park, Leon chuckling as Tom walks backwards in front of him to tell him fun stories about his week or his day or about this crazy dream he had, all the while Leon is listening closely and thinking about how damn lucky he is.

When they're curled up in bed after one of them wakes up from a ptsd induced nightmare and the other just holds them and assures everything is okay, that they're safe, that theyre comfy at home and can keep their guard down. When they lay with their head on the others chest just to hear a heartbeat and KNOW it's okay. Even the small offer of "I'll stay up for a bit longer, you sleep, I'll watch over you."

Whenever Tom wants to be involved in Leon's routines cuz he got woken up by the other so now he is gonna be soft and stuck to his hip. He will sit on the counter and give Leon his shave, nice and close, full concentration and Leon cant help but chuckle at how serious and concentrated Tom is trying to look.

The moment they saw each other in their wedding day and their heartbeats picked up and practically skipped a beat. How their eyes never left each other the whole time and Tom nearly missed his cue for saying "I do" because he got far too lost in Leon's eyes and he almost kissed him instead of saying it. How they both laughed about that and even the priest chuckled. How Leon full on DIPPED Tom to the point where the back of the mans head touched the damn ground while they kissed.

How whenever they get into arguments-- rare and far between-- it always either goes too far or gets cut short. They get very frustrated sometimes cuz they're both a bit stubborn and it can lead to a lot of shouting and Tom sometimes goes for the low blows in the really bad moments but the moment he does it his face just falls because he didnt mean a damn word of it-- and he's in tears instantly and wont stop apologizing well into the night, even after Leon has forgiven him (which is pretty much right away, he knows this is just Tom being angry and he doest mean a word of it, it stings, yes, but hes not mad he knows tensions get high and things get said.) They usually take time to be on their own after it happens but Tom will usually slide a note into the room Leon is in to apologize and say sweet things because he really does feel awful. Leon usually has forgiven him ages ago but still wants the time to calm down. The moment they're in each others sights again-- usually passing each other in a hallway-- it's the moment where Tom will wrap his arms around Leon who is 100% still trying to walk past, but freezes the moment he feels Tom hug him and he can't help but hig him back firmly because he knows what the other will say, he knows the tone it will come out in, and it does "can we please stop fighting now.. I'm so tired of fighting. I just want my husband. Please don't leave me?" Its a broken, somber tone, full of worry and fear, and Leon assures him they're done fighting, that it's okay and hes staying right there.

Theres so many more I could go on for fucking hours.

[got-to-love-a-badboy]

Special guest

Previous chapter ^^^

Chapter 4- The Morning After The Ball

The party was beginning to dim down a little, with the majority of the guests heading home, there was just a few of the happy couples friends left gathered around the head table.

The music had stopped, the drinks had definitely been flowing so there were a few drunken faces around the table.

Jamie was talking to Kalvin, his new wife Ashley was talking to Jessica, which left Ellie talking to Jack, they had talked and danced the night away, like a real life Cinderella story Ellie was waiting for the clock to strike 12 and all of this fairytale around her to vanish and for the the mice to reappear.

Jack noticed Ellie staring off into space, "what's on your mind?", he asked her as his thumb traced her jaw line, Ellie smiled at him as she was pulled from her thoughts, "oh nothing, just thinking of how amazing tonight has been", followed by a heavy sigh.

Jack moved his head so he could see her clearer, "it has been amazing, so why the heavy sigh", Jack asked her which made her smile, "I just... tonight has been unreal... I mean this is probably an average night for Jack Grealish, but for me this is literally a fairytale.. so I'm kind of dreading the morning, when I crash back to reality".

Just as Jack was going to reply the few remaining guests began standing up and saying their goodbyes, "El! Come on babe our cab is here!" Jessica bellowed from the entrance, "il walk you out" Jack told her as he takes her hand and slowly walks out of the building as the two of them sharing glances every few seconds.

Jessica and Jamie were in the cab locking lips, Ellie saw this and rolled her eyes before looking at Jack, "third wheel privileges I suppose", Jack laughed at her comment, before reaching into his pocket for his phone, "save your number", Ellie did as Jack asked, although in the back of her mind she didn't have much hope of his actually calling her, he was Jack Grealish at the end of the day, and she was just someone who passed the time at a wedding for him, although tonight was amazing, she knew this was how it was going to go.

Ellie opened the door of the taxi but turned back to Jack before she got in, "thank you for tonight, it really was so much fun", Jack moves closer to her and connected their hands once again, this time he pulled her closer by her hand, their faces only inches apart, "no, thank you", He slowly moved closer to Ellie and connected their lips very delicately at first, when Ellie reciprocated the kiss Jack deepened it, his hands finding their place in Ellie's hair and the other one on her hip, their lips moving in sync sending electricity between the two.

Two loud bangs brought the pair back to reality, as Ellie looked to her left she saw Jamie banging on the cab door, gesturing for her to hurry up and get in the car, "Il see you later Grealish" Ellie said to the man or her dreams as she climbed in the cab, "goodnight princess Ellie", Jack winked at her before closing her door and watching the cab drive away.

He stood there for a few moments wondering what tonight had been, he genuinely had been searching for someone that gave him that spark for years, was he been too forward thinking Ellie was that person, should he keep some distance between them, after all he was going back to Birmingham in the morning and Ellie would be up here in Leeds, he knew it was up to him now what happened between them, as he had her number, if he really wanted to ghost her he could as he had done it many times before with women who he knew he didn't have the connection with.

Ellie headed home in the cab saying goodnight to her best friends, knowing tomorrow morning would be interrogation 101 with the texts from Jessica.

Jack did the same heading to the hotel room, his home for the night in hopes of relaxing his mind of Ellie and their evening.

The following morning Ellie woke up feeling fresh, today was a new day, she had just been to a footballers wedding and met two of her footballing idols.... She was winning at life, she did her best to rid her mind of the encounter, she knew that this was her defence mechanism so she didn't have to deal with the heartache when Jack didn't text or call, she had accepted it was a one night thing and nothing really happened, right?.

Her day started with her usual morning routine, shower, breakfast, coffee and a quick social media brows on her porch before getting dressed for the day.

-_-_-_-_-_-_ Instagram -_-_-_-_-_-_-

Liked by @jessyshaw132, @Jackgrealish and 326 others

Ellowe25- this coffee is much needed this morning! 🤦🏻‍♀️ ☕️

@jessyshaw132 - I will be there in 20 mins! Be ready!! Prepare your statement.

@Jamieee3 - she is literally running around the house in a rush!

@Jackgrealish - ☕️ 😍

@user12 - what is this!! Jack Grealish on some randoms account!?

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Before she had chance to even get ready Ellie heard banging on the door, the kind of banging any normal person would think was the police or something serious, but knowing her best friend like she did she knew it had to be Jessica.

"What has my poor door ever done to you?" Ellie asked the very flush Jessica, "oh behave, come on we need to talk", Jessica called as she walked through the house and begins to rummage through the fridge.

After finding the drink she was searching for she sat at the kitchen island, "so...", she questioned, staring straight at Ellie, "so what? What do you need me to say?", Jessica threw her head into her hands, "no! Just no!, you do not get to flirt, dance and kiss the man you have been talking none stop about for the last 3 years and then say 'what do you want me to say'", Ellie shook her head at her best friend, she had always been a fairytale believer, love at first sight kind of person, that may have happened for her and Jamie but that's not always the case.

"Yeah we had an amazing night but Jess, he is Jack Grealish, I'm only me, he won't even call me but it's fine, I have totally accepted that", Jessica just looks at her and shakes her head, "!No I'm not buying it, you two looked like a happy couple last night plus he's comment this morning your not telling me he is over you", Ellie looked at her phone in disbelief, "I didnt even see this comment, what do I do?" Ellie asked her best friend, she had more experience than Ellie did, "you have to reply! Or at least DM him", Ellie instantly shook her head, "no I can't, I'm leaving it up to him, if he wants something more he will message, if not then it's ok, il be fine", Jessica hates to see her friend putting up these walls.

Ellie was contemplating wether to send a message or not, she didn't want to seem desperate ... but she was, she didn't want to seem uninterested ... because she was, but she also didn't want to seem like a stalker because that is something that she wasn't.

She had to think, what should she do?

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