#i literally can't give you anything back <3 you should just do it cause i'm cute

[arcaneyouth]

i need to play a good mystery/puzzle game again so fucking bad i'm going throw up

[tellafairy]

thoughts on shifting + manifesting with ease. (as someone who's shifted many times, alongside manifesting)

coming back to this side of tumblr after spending years away from it has made me realized how many do you are truly the problem, it might sound kinda harsh but really. so many of you ask the same questions over and over again.. "but HOW do i do it?" "how do i shift" "how do i manifest" JUST DO IT. stop looking for signs, stop looking for methods or "cheat codes". just do it man.

your mind is so powerful and it actually kinda irritates me how many of you doubt it, just because it "seems to easy". you don't understand how you've been manipulated by society to not see your power. how have you been on loa social media, shifting social media, for soooo long — yet still don't see it?? let me tell you..

the moment i got off social media, the moment i took time to erase everything in my head and stop overthinking everything, was the moment everything came to me. i already had it, i just needed to stop telling myself i didn't.

it took me less than two weeks to get used to convincing myself i had everything i wanted, i shifted to my desired realities, and everything worked out in my favour. AFFIRMING IS ALL YOU NEED. I AM YELLING AT YOU. JUST AFFIRM.

really, please, affirm. the routine is so simple.

1. any bad thought is instantly turned positive.

ex: "i really want her waist"

to

"am i stupid ... i have her waist.. tbh mine even looks a little better.. am i crazy?? like actually? this must be a glitch or something cause my waist is practically identical to hers.. i literally love my waist"

exaggerate, say what you need to say to erase the negativity.

2. it's yours, so act like it..

ex: talk about ur DR normally. it's your reality, not a fantasy land you made up in a dream. ITS REAL. it's a reality. for example, i'd watch videos of my s/o in this reality, and speak about our lives in my dr. "i can't wait to see __ tonight... god i love __, it's so nice hanging out with them everyday.. wow they look so pretty in this video — i'm so lucky their mine". it's natural, they're yours aren't they? exactly, so act like it.. this is used the exact same way when manifesting..

you see someone with something you want? thinking of something you wanna do? something you wanna be? ... it's urs... so can you act like it?? like whyre u feeling sad someone else got a job promotion 😹😹 you literally got a better one ...

3. that's literally it

you don't need a fancy method (although it can give u some peace of mind.. let's be real, a lot of methods set y'all back and make you overwhelmed, blocking ur beliefs and making everything seem harder). you literally just need to live. tell yourself it's done, over and over again. nothing matters. it's done, it's yours, you have it, you're happy and fulfilled. other peoples sucess should really mean nothing to you negatively. it shouldn't make you stressed, shouldn't make you feel behind.. why would it when you have everything, you can do everything, go anywhere, and you can be anything.

it'll seem like manifesting blogs and shifting blogs just repeat the same things.. which is true, they do, because i'm telling you there's nothing more to it than what you've already read. it is that easy. all it takes is your mind. decide, and tell yourself.

as i said before, it took me barely anytime to switch my mindset once i actually started focusing on myself, my journey and not every body else's results. repeating stuff to yourself WORKS. repeating is literally ALL i did. choose what i want, told myself it's mine in any way i could describe it. and there, it's mine. ive shifted to many different realities, along side gaining a better life in this one after years of convincing myself there was nothing for me. if i can break out of the cycle, trust me you can too. i cannot describe how desperate i was at the beginning, how long i took in false info and wasted time on methods all while doubting every single thing.

so why don't you believe it? you'll sit there and tell yourself over and over again that you're ugly, or broke, or friendless... but you won't tell urself that you've shifted? that you have your dream body...? girl okay i guess....

once you realize nothing besides your mind truly matters, is when you'll be free with yourself. circumstances don't matter, past feelings don't matter, doubts don't matter, your mind is all you need.

yes this is just loa explained longer, that's the point of the post because some of u still can't get it in ur heads

[get0sfav]

hii hope you’re free to do my req!!😭 its alright if you’re busy but you should do jjk men hcs when they take you to the mall!! 🩷

AT THE MALL | multi.

↳ toji fushiguro, satoru gojo, suguru geto, kento nanami, sukuna x f!reader

JJK men when they take you to the mall!

slightly suggestive!

warnings! slightly suggestive for satoru and suguru (mentions of handjobs?), pet names (princess, baby, doll, love) other then that none :)

a/n: also please tell me if I should do part two with the younger boys like megumi/yunji too or not!

Toji Fushiguro!

He's broke as shit how do you think he's supposed to take you anywhere, especially a mall.

Anyways, when you ask him "could you take me to the mall please?" he scoffs lightly, mumbling a low "go by yourself." in between whatever is it that he's doing (probably watching TV). However, once you say that you'd get him food, his ears perk up, but he ignores, which causes you to simply shrug and go get ready.

However when you're at the door, calling his name so he can shut the door, you see him picking up his jacket, you ask him where he's going, to which he responds "can't let ya go alone." and you have to stop yourself from laughing at his antics.

He spends most of the time complaining as you drag him from store to store, grumbling about how you're indecisive as hell and should've just ordered stuff online rather than coming all the way here.

Notices you eyeing something which was a little expensive, and he internally gets sad knowing he couldn't buy it for you even if he wanted, and he knows you would literally dump his ass if he were to threaten the employees to give it to him for free.

Acts like a total baby, annoying you and whining until you get him food, which shuts him up for a while.

Absolutely HATES when you try to buy stuff for him, because he doesn't need that. So when you drag his ass to Sephora, he's grossed out at first, yapping about why he was there and how awkward he looked (which he did) there as compared to everyone, his giant and buff figure something you wouldn't see in Sephora of all places. Although you end up buying a cologne and a skin moisturizer for him apart from everything you got for yourself, to which he kept saying that he didn't need it and all that, but he knew he did, because deep down he wanted his skin to be soft for you to touch.

When you're about to leave the mall, he unexpectedly drags you to an ice cream shop, getting your favorite flavor. It was a silent way of his for thanking you for buying that stuff for him

"thank you for getting me that stuff princess, though I didn't need any of that, I'm naturally gorgeous, but still, thank you" He'd say while pressing a kiss to your head, one of his hands carrying all your bags while the other draped around your shoulder, pulling you into him while you smiled at his words, appreciating the small gesture from his side.

Satoru Gojo!

He takes you to the mall, every week, even if you didn't need anything, making up excuses that he needs to buy something, grumbling things like "gotta get me some new shades/shirts" and he drags you along everytime.

Of course, it's just an excuse, he simply wants to treat you like the princess you are <3

He loves seeing you poke out your tongue in concentration while trying to choose any shirt for him, and oh how his heart melts at that. His heart fluffs up at the fact that you're doing so much just to make sure he ends up looking good (despite the fact he looks good in everything)

What starts as his shopping soon turns into him taking you to the most expensive stores at the mall, and it's his turn to dress you up now.

"hmmm, turn around for me?" He motions his fingers in a circular motion, and you twirl for him. A smile spreads across his face, "You look absolutely gorgeous, and your ass looks great in that dress I swear." He refers to the baby pink dress you wore, slowly walking up to you and pulling you in for a hug, rocking you back and forth "you're so gorgeous, so pretty I can't stop complimenting you, that's how awesome you are baby, I'm so glad you're my girlfriend." He then pulls you in for a kiss, holding your face in both his hands

Gets absolutely everything and anything your eyes linger on for more than 2 minutes, he doesn't care how expensive it is, he's way too rich to care about the price, and of course, there's nothing more important than what you want, that's how much he loves you.

Whatever you want, you just need to name it and he'll be getting it for you immediately, doesn't care if it isn't available because he will make it available. Anything for you.

Would 101% drag you to the lingerie store, getting you new sets because he's torn way too many of your sets. His favorite one is the blue one you choose, which matches the color of his eyes. After you walk out of the store, he bends down to whisper in your ear with a grin "I can't wait to rip that one off of you."

Takes you to the best restaurant after shopping, getting your favorite dishes and drinks because "he just felt like it"

He's the best <3

Suguru Geto!

Suguru takes you out almost every week, but rarely to a mall, so when he asks you whether you wanted to go to the mall, you were a bit shocked. He looked at you with his eyebrows raised, and you shrugged, agreeing to go with him because it wasn't everyday he wanted to go to a mall.

The two of you mostly just walk around, window-shopping rather than actually buying anything. His hand stays in yours at all times, occasionally bringing it up to his mouth to kiss on your knuckles.

Though what attracts you both is an accessories store, where the two of you get all kinds of jewelry and stuff. Suguru gets new earrings for his piercings, while you get necklaces, bracelets and whatever catches your eye.

He pays for everything, of course.

After exiting the store, he remembers how you wanted to get your nails done, so without a word he takes you into the opposite direction towards a nail salon. He helps you out with everything, sitting by your side with his head leaned on your shoulder, and he helps you with everything.

"what color should I get?" You ask him while the lady adds the nail extensions. He thinks for a while, before his thoughts wander to that one video he saw on social media, where the girl got her nails painted with the color of her boyfriend's tip. He smirks and leans into your ear, "get the color of my tip, you know what it is, right princess?" Your eyes widen at his words, shifting in your chair. You ask the lady to apply the color of his tip (or what you think it is, based on your memory) He smiles, he'd know whether it is or it isn't when your hands would be stroking up and down his dick.

Treats you to McDonald's after you've gotten your nails done, repetitively asking if you wanted anything else. He helps you eat your burger because he implemented that you had just gotten your nails done and it'd be a shame for them to break before he got to see whether you picked the right color or not.

Kento Nanami!

Absolute sweetheart. All you had to do was mention that you wanted to go to the mall once and the next day he's taking a sick leave to skip out office and take you to the mall.

He doesn't get the hype of malls, but he's ready to do anything for you.

You guys don't do much shopping and stuff, simply choosing to walk around talking about anything and everything, mainly it was you talking and him listening, but it was okay because he loved the way your voice flowed into his ears. It was music to him. If he could, he'd record your voice and hear it all the time while he was at work, so that he could feel grounded to who he loved, despite the stressful environment.

He's wearing a casual white shirt, sleeves rolled up to his forearms, and more importantly, his hair was down and he wasn't wearing his glasses. Your arm was looped into his at all times, telling the lookers that he was taken.

After a while, you two decided to eat something. You got yourselves a table while he went to order donuts for the both of you.

While you sat there, your eyes remained focused on your boyfriend, and your brows furrowed as a girl approached him, twirling her hair and what not. You were almost ready to walk to her and tell her to back off, but before you could get up, Kento and the girl looked towards you as he pointed at you, and then made eye contact, waving his hand with a soft smile.

You felt a smile creeping up on your own lips as he walked back towards your table, the smallest hint of smile still plastered over his face when he sits down with your donuts, handing you a spoon.

"Don't think about it doll" His words caught your attention, and as always, he knew exactly what you were thinking about "She came up to me and asked me if I was single, I simply told her that I have the most perfect girlfriend ever and I didn't plan to leave her anytime soon." His words made your heart flutter as a faint hint of blush creeped up on your cheeks, his hand brushing behind a few loose strands of hair from your face.

On your way back to your shared home, Kento got your favorite flowers for you, as a token of his love, "This was one of the best days in my entire life, thank you love." He kissed your cheek, looping your arm in his once more as the two of you walked back

Sukuna!

he doesn't.

[pls-hold-me-im-justa-weeb]

Zoro x Fem Reader fluff and NSFW! S/O is a sweet and gentle lover, being like the opposite of Zoro. She always takes care of Zoro, like giving him blankets during naps, water and towels and massages during his training, etc. But Zoro hasn’t done much for her as a lover, which everyone but S/O reminds him. Zoro tries making it up by taking her to a flower field date. S/O is so happy, playing with the flowers that Zoro couldn’t help but fall in love with her innocence and kindness even more.

S;DUFDFVHJDOI;FDS;SDJF;OS THE WAY I SQUAWKED AND FOLDED FOR THIS REQUEST because I relate to it sooooo much oh my goodness gracious. I was so excited to write this and kept thinking about how to approach it, (which you can tell from how long it is... I got SUPER carried away lol)!!! Thank you SO MUCH for this request!!! I also used post timeskip Zoro because he seems more serious and stoic, and just imagining him being soft and blushing and in love just sidfjduhgsdijfo;i ugh okay? I headcanon that Sanji hides the sake and beer from Zoro just because he can. I don't know yet if it ever actually happens, but I would not be surprised.

🍶 Wordcount: 6.2k (DO NOT EXPECT THIS NORMALLY PEOPLE, I JUST HAD FUN WITH THIS AND WENT OVERBOARD BY A LOT)

Warnings: light angst, kinda cheesy romance (leave me alone I'm a romantic), kinda ooc fluffy soft!Zoro (because I'm a SLUT for soft zoro), SMUT - (oral/fingering, f!receiving, penis in vagina sex, squirting, mild choking m!receiving, f!reader getting railed by Zoro)

There is a section written in green from Zoro's POV.

Okay I'm literally so proud of this piece. That's it. Thank you, and enjoy.

ALL CREDIT TO ARTIST BUT I CAN'T FIND THEM but it's the perfect image for how I describe Zoro looking at you adoringly :3

-----

"All I'm saying is that if I had a lover like her, I'd give her everything and anything" Sanji quipped from his place in front of the stove.

"I didn't ask you, ero-cook. I love her and she knows it. That's enough. Stay out of my relationship" Zoro snapped from the pantry, searching for some alcohol.

"You should say 'our' relationship, idiot marimo. It's you and her together."

Zoro slammed shut the pantry, rattling the wall. The cook hid all the alcohol from him again.

"I don't want advice from a love sick fool who can't get a woman to save his life. At least I have a girlfriend" he spat, stalking towards the door.

"Yet you're arguing with me, trying to find alcohol to go drink alone instead of spending time with her. After everything she does for you." Zoro spun around angrily, hand on one of his swords, but was interrupted by the door to the eating area opening. You stood in the doorway hesitantly, immediately sensing the tension in the air, and the way it thickened at your presence.

"Oh. Uh. I stashed an extra bottle of alcohol away for you for when San-... uh... you couldn't find any... so... here" you held out the bottle. It was a bottle of decent sake you had swiped and stashed last week for the inevitable time the cook hid all the alcohol from your boyfriend, which you had seen the blond doing earlier.

"Thanks" Zoro muttered as he took it from your hand. He walked out the door, leaving you with the cook. You didn't miss the glower the cook sent towards the swordsman's back at his dismissive attitude, but you ignored it. You walked into the kitchen, distracting Sanji from his annoyance with a sweet request for two cups of water. He quickly got them for you with an exaggerated flourish, causing you to giggle. At the innocent sound, his smile turned sad before he became serious.

"You do too much for him and don't get enough in return" he muttered. Your heart clenched.

"He loves me in different ways, away from where people can see. Unfortunately, it's hard to do that on a ship" you said, shrugging off the comment. You knew it was true. You knew he loved you, he just... had lofty goals. It's hard to find time for romance and giving your lover attention when you're training constantly to be the worlds greatest swordsman, and first mate to the future pirate king. You knew that going into the relationship, and you were content with giving him attention so he knew he was loved.

"Besides, if he knows I love him, that's all that matters to me" you said.

"He doesn't even take you on dates when we go to islands" Sanji said quietly.

"It's pretty hard to do when he has the directional sense of a rock, and he somehow usually manages to get into some sort of trouble" you dismissed easily. The cook sighed, turning back to the stove.

"As long as you're happy, but I'd be glad to kick his ass for you if you ever feels like he needs it" he offered. You snorted, grabbing the waters as you made your way towards the door.

"You'd do it if he even looked at you wrong, let alone pissed me off" you teased, opening the door. Sanji waved goodbye with a sweet smile, knowing what you said was one hundred percent true. You rolled your eyes, making your way to the deck towards Zoro. It was evening, the sea breeze sweeping away the heat of the day, cooling the air to a comfortable temperature. The sun was starting to set, the sky turning gold with strokes of pink and red towards the horizon.

Your boyfriend was enjoying the last vestiges of sunlight on the deck, sprawled on his side with his head propped in his hand. You stood and admired his features for a second. His short green hair seemed more vibrant in this light, and his eyes closed gently, the scar over his eye shining with the different texture. The light hit his exposed chest just right, highlighting and shadowing his muscles that he worked so hard for. He brought the bottle of sake up to his lips and took a swig. You watched as his chiseled jaw moved as his throat bobbed. His earrings glinted in the golden light at the new angle. You swallowed, feeling butterflies erupt in your stomach.

"You just gonna stand there?" he asked, lowering the bottle from his lips. A drop made its way down his chin but he wiped it off carelessly with the back of his hand. You cleared your throat, flustered that you had been caught staring. You made your way to sit so he could see you with his good eye. You silently held out the glass of water, glancing at him quickly.

"You good? You look like your blushing" he said, letting his fingers linger over yours as he accepted the glass of water. One of his ways of showing innocent affection.

"Yeah... You just... You're so beautiful" you breathed honestly. Zoro blushed slightly and grunted, looking away from you. You giggled quietly, able to read his reactions like a book. He was surprised and flustered.

"Not my choice of description" he mumbled. You decided to tease him further.

"No? I could say you're pretty, or stunning. I could say you're handsome, sexy, strong, amazing-"

"Shut up!" he swatted your thigh lightly. Now he was beyond flustered, blushing all the way to his ears. You dissolved into laughter, falling onto your back as you clutched your stomach. You missed his gaze, staring openly at you with awe, but he controlled his expression quickly before someone saw him. Your laughter eventually faded, and you eased yourself up to lean on your elbows to watch the sunset. Streaks of purples, oranges, pinks, and reds painted the sky.

"Tomorrow we should arrive at a spring island" you said quietly. Zoro grunted quietly. To anyone else, it sounded like a simple acknowledgement that you spoke, but you heard his silent invitation to continue.

"It's famous for the flower fields that grow wild there" you said, awe and excitement coloring your voice. You didn't notice his curious glance towards you.

"Yeah?" he prodded. You sat up fully, hugging your knees to your chest, your expression dreamy as you let the visual of the current sunset coloring imaginary wildflower fields form in your mind.

"Mmmhmm. I told Chopper I'd go with him" you said quietly.

An idea bloomed in the swordsman's mind, but he kept his expression neutral.

"For medicinal herbs?" he asked. You nodded.

"I'm excited" you said dreamily. Zoro hummed, a plan forming behind his neutral face. He'd need to ask some favors, which he hated, but to see you smile it was worth it.

----

The next morning you woke up with more energy than usual, the excitement to visit the wildflower fields evident in your actions. All morning, you asked Robin about her flowers, and she lent you a book about the flowers you were likely to see on this island. You devoured the information until Luffy exclaimed loudly that he could see land. You worked off your extra energy running wild around the ship with him and Chopper, feeding each other's childish excitement. You didn't see Zoro anywhere, but assumed he was training in the crows nest.

The ship finally docked, and you waited impatiently for Chopper to finish gathering what he needed before the two of you leapt off the ship.

"Oi! Wait up! I'm coming with you two" your boyfriend called out, sounding exasperated as he slung a bag around him. Your happy surprise showed in a small squeal and a jump into his arms once he caught up. A wide grin donned your lips and you laughed as he tsk'd at your behavior and pushed you back by your forehead.

"Did you shower?" you asked, surprised. Normally it took you promising alone time or a bottle of sake to get him to shower regularly.

"So what if I did?"

You shrugged, grabbing his hand as you turned away.

"C'mon! Let's go! And don't let go of my hand. I don't want you getting lost"

You lead the way through the town, the three of you stopping to buy some drinks before continuing. Chopper got chocolate milk, Zoro got sake, and you tried a popular local flower tea. You asked the shopkeeper directions to the flower fields to make sure you were going the right way. He nodded, but leaned forward, indicating at your hand in Zoro's.

"The fields are a tourist attraction, but there's a place that's out of the way and much prettier, if you're looking for a more secluded area." You opened your mouth to say it didn't matter, but Zoro leaned forward, intrigued. You realized he probably wanted to take a nap in the quiet area, so you nodded and asked for directions. You thanked the shopkeeper with a few coins as a tip for his information, and set off with Chopper and Zoro in tow.

"You didn't have to give him money just for telling us that" Zoro griped. You rolled your eyes.

"You just say that 'cause you're in huge debt to Nami" you teased. He bristled slightly.

"He offered up the information for free!"

You shrugged.

"You repay kindness with kindness. That comes in different forms for different people"

Zoro grunted, having no reply to that. Chopper spoke up.

"Ooo you're so nice! But the directions the man gave you leads to a different area where the herbs I need don't grow. Is it okay if we split up? I'll be fine by myself, and you can go enjoy the beautiful area."

You hesitated. You told Chopper you'd help him find herbs, but the offer to spend alone time with Zoro without other people disturbing you in a flower field sounded too tempting. Your boyfriend squeezed your hand.

"He'll be fine. Let's go. You're excited right?"

You exhaled, and ran your free hand through your hair before smiling down at Chopper.

"You sure?" He nodded determinedly at your question, then ran off with a quick goodbye and a promise to be safe. You watched him for a bit, but turned around when Zoro tugged on your hand.

"C'mon. Lets go" he urged. He began leading you, but you quickly stopped him, a smile tugging on your lips.

"That's the way we came from, babe. This way."

He huffed in embarrassment both at his mistake and your pet name, but let you lead him. You reached a fork in the path just outside the town. One sign indicated the path lead to the flower fields, but you headed down the unmarked path, following the shopkeeper's directions.

"Oi. The sign said the other way. You sure we're on the right path?" your boyfriend asked. You glanced at him with a single raised brow and a smirk.

"I love you so much Zoro, but I'm surprised you even realized the sign was referring to the other path"

He blushed and spluttered, indignant at your quip and flustered by your easy admission of your feelings towards him. You cut him off with a soft laugh.

"Hurry up! I can smell the flowers already!" You broke into a quick jog. The swordsman easily kept pace with you, staying by your side even as you let go of his hand. You focused on the path ahead of you, missing his quick, adoring glance at you. There was nobody around, after all.

A few minutes later, you rounded a corner of a rock face, and your view exploded in vibrant colors. Shades of purple, pink, yellow, orange, green, and blue dotted the field sprawled in front of you. You gasped audibly, in awe of the view in front of you. The air was thick with the sweet scent of flowers, the breeze wafting their perfume around you as it brushed the petals and bowed the thin stems in waves. A lone apple tree stood in the middle of the field, matching the rustling of the field as the breeze threaded through it's boughs. The field led to a cliff, which looked out over a hidden cove. The beach below was white sand and turquoise waters.

You stepped forward hesitantly, unwilling to crush any of the beautiful plants. A warm hand landed on your lower back, nudging you forward. You couldn't tear your eyes away from the flowers.

~~~~~~~

He wished you could see yourself from his point of view. His life had been dark and full of violence, but you brought innocence and raw love to his life. You were the light to his shadows, the food for his soul, the gentleness to his calloused fighting.

Your awe at the flower field in front of the two of you froze your entire body, your hand curled in a gentle fist against your chest, over your heart as if checking you weren't dead. You were hardly breathing, as if unwilling to disturb the beauty in front of you.

Tears shone in your eyes, overwhelmed by the excitement and unfiltered, pure awe of the beauty in front of you. You took a small step forward but stopped. He placed a gentle hand on your lower back, nudging you slightly forward. You deserved to experience the beauty he could never bring you as a person.

You deserved everything his crewmates said you did. The open affection, the love, gentle smiles, and innocent caresses, returning the small gestures and kindness you unthinkingly did for him. You massaged his muscles when he over trained, patched up his minor injuries after a fight, and brought him water and fresh towels when he was working out. He wanted to give back. To run a finger over your cheek before kissing you gently, to play with your hair, to cuddle you when you frowned.

Yet, selfishly, he couldn't bring himself to be seen doing it. He couldn't let anyone know you were his weakness, that he loved you enough to give up his dream of being the worlds greatest swordsman for you. It wasn't that he didn't trust his crew, he did. It just terrified him knowing how deeply you affected him- how much he loved you, and how much he would sacrifice for you. He would even destroy the very sun if you asked.

He let his gaze wander over your face. Innocent and pure adoration, the tears in your eyes at the view that surpassed your expectations. You looked beautiful, but he couldn't bring himself to say it because he was falling even harder for you. He nudged you forward gently again with the hand on your back.

She deserves everything.

"Go on. You deserve it" he said quietly.

He met your gaze, letting himself show his affection for you, removing the wall he put up to keep his expression neutral. Fresh tears gathered in your eyes, and he chuckled at your innocence.

"Get out there or I'll carry you" he teased. With a nod, you shuffled forward, and crouched to gently caress the delicate petals of a flower. He could hardly tell them apart, but you had been studying them all morning. You sniffed the flower, and you gazed at the field before suddenly taking off. Your unabashed, pure and kind laughter carried over the field, making him smile at your innocent joy and excitement. You opened your arms as you spun, as if to hug the breeze that tangled it's fingers through your shining hair. Your face turned towards the sun as you breathed deeply, a smile never leaving your face.

He couldn't help the answering smile that graced his own lips. Your beauty and joy sent his heart fluttering as he made his way to the lone apple tree to set up the meal he had packed the two of you, courtesy his begrudging ask of Sanji. He wanted the best for you, and even he had to admit the cook was good at his job.

He was supposed to stay and watch the ship today, but he asked Franky to instead. The damn cyborg had even started bawling when he explained begrudgingly that he wanted to take you on a special date. He considered asking Brook to be nearby to play some of your favorite songs, but he really wanted it to be the two of you during this date, so he asked him to do it tonight, back on the ship. He asked Robin and Usopp to work together to buy some seeds and plant you some flowers from the area in a small planter, so you could always have a little bit of this spring island with you. He even asked Chopper to make an excuse to find the herbs somewhere else. It was lucky that the shopkeeper guided the two of you away from where the reindeer actually needed to go.

He flicked open the blanket, spreading it on the ground beneath the tree. He saw a few ripe apples in the branches, and picked them easily. He heard your footsteps approaching, but didn't look back, focused on reaching the last apple, just out of his reach.

~~~~~~

"What's all this?" you asked breathlessly. Zoro didn't look back. You slid off your shoes before stepping fully on the spread blanket, placing them neatly next to Zoro's boots.

"'s for you" he said before jumping a little to grasp the apple he was trying to pick. As he pulled it from the tree, the branch shook, raining petals and leaves on the two of you. You giggled. He turned around, gaze landing on you, and froze. His eyes were wide and his mouth parted. A blush was coloring his cheeks a red under his tanned skin. He had only reacted like this the first time he saw you naked in his bed. You noticed he had a leaf stuck in his hair, and you chuckled as you reached out to pluck it from his head. He started a little, and pulled you close with an arm around your waist.

"What's wrong?" you tilted your head.

"You..." he trailed off, plucking a light pink petal from your hair.

"Me?"

"God I love you so much" he breathed. Your eyes widened, and you gasped lightly. It was kind of rare for him to say it, preferring to show you. He took a deep breath, exhaling as he cradled your cheeks in his hands. His thumbs drew matching gentle circles on your cheeks, and he lowered his forehead to yours, eyes closed. One of your hands came up to cradle his, the other resting on his hip.

"I know I should be more open about it. I'm a selfish bastard because I just can't let people know that you're my weakness. I can't let them know that I'd give up my dreams, to be the best, for you. Because when I'm with you... nothing else matters. I'd tear down the sun and the moon if it meant you would always be happy and safe. I can't show it because I can't lose you."

His voice sounded strained, as if it caused him pain to speak like this. Your voice caught in your throat, unable to form any words. You could only surge forward in a desperate kiss, which he matched in fervor. You couldn't get enough of him, shoving your tongue into his mouth clumsily to explore it. He grunted in surprise, but quickly adapted, returning the favor quickly. Your hand that was resting on his wrapped around to thread through his windswept hair, and the one that was on his hip slid to his bare chest, trailing down to his haramaki. He groaned into your mouth, his own hands skimming down from your face, featherlight touches down your shoulders and sides until he reached your hips. He broke the kiss, breathless.

"You drive me insane, woman" he muttered as his hands cupped under your ass. He tapped his hands twice, and you took the hint, looping your arms around his neck and jumping to wrap your legs around his waist. He lifted you easily, and you kissed him again. He moaned into the kiss, and you answered with a groan. He knelt smoothly on the blanket, lowering you to your back gently. You broke the kiss, looking at him softly as he hovered above you, hands caging your head.

"You drive me insane too" you muttered with a smile. He smiled lovingly at you.

"Pretty sure that's part of the boyfriend job description" he answered, leaning down to nose your jaw. You huffed a laugh as he tickled your neck with butterfly kisses. You rarely saw this side of Zoro, and each moment made you fall more in love with him. Usually it was desperate, passionate kisses that lead to fucking, and while that was nice, this felt more like you were going to make love. You dragged your hands down his chest, reveling in the warm touch and the chiseled muscles.

"Zoro"

"Hm?" He broke away from your neck, meeting your gaze. Your hands drifted to the front of the shoulders, flexed as he held himself above you.

"I want you" you whispered. His eyes flared with lust.

"Whatever you want, princess" he muttered, lips brushing yours with his words. He covered your lips with his, slightly chapped and tasting like the sweet sake he had on the walk here. You groaned, and you let him explore your mouth with his tongue, running over your teeth and tangling his tongue with yours. Your hands threaded through his hair, scratching his scalp the way he liked. He broke the kiss from your lips and started kissing down your neck, gently biting in places before licking and kissing it as if in apology. A hand wandered under your shirt, caressing your belly, sides, and breasts.

"I don't tell you nearly enough. You're beautiful"

Your breath hitched, and you raised a hand to cover your mouth in shyness. He sat back, and pulled you sitting upright with his movement. He helped you strip from your shirt, decorating your chest with soft kisses. You tilted your head back, a blush on your face, unused to the loving attention. Normally it was pawing and tearing at each other's clothes in desperate lust when you finally got some privacy, but this... this you liked. A lot.

You moaned lightly as his hands deftly removed your bra, then eased you back down gently onto the blanket. He cupped your breasts, thumb rubbing gentle circles over your nipples as his tongue laved over the other one. You moaned quietly, raising a curled hand to your lips in embarrassment. Zoro caught it before it even reached your shoulder, and popped off your nipple to catch your eye as he hovered over your chest.

"Let me hear you. Please." His voice was deepened with lust. You nodded at him, sure your blush was prominent. He huffed a small chuckle, letting himself look at you with all the love he had, a genuine close-lipped smile curving his lips softly.

"Let me take care of you today" he said, kissing the back of your fingers.

You tangled your fingers with his, gazing at him, "Z-zoro".

He leaned down to kiss your lips chastely, before allowing himself to travel down your neck and chest, planting soft kisses on your skin. He whispered praises unabashedly, knowing he could show his love for you openly here. It was safe. His hands kneaded your breasts as if to ground himself.

"I love you so fucking much"

"So beautiful"

"I love how you do so much for me"

"I love how you show me you care for me"

"I love how innocent and carefree you can be"

"I'd give you the world if I could"

He slowly made his way to your shorts, nipping lightly at the skin of your tummy before sliding his hands down your sides and removing your shorts and panties. You lifted your hips to help him. He hummed in appreciation at the sight of you laid bare in front of him, better than any meal he could ever taste. He gently spread your legs, and you tried to keep your thighs closed out of embarrassment. He soothed his warm calloused hands on the outside of your legs, from hips to ankles. He easily placed your knees on his shoulders, and eased himself forward. You parted for him automatically.

"There's my good girl" he cooed. Electrifying heat pooled in your lower abdomen at the words. His words were usually somewhat degrading, which you loved, but his praise trailed heated fingers down your spine. You moaned, and you could feel him smirking against the fat of your thigh as he kissed it. His fingers slid their way over your slit, finding your hole and collecting some slick so he could rub your clit. You hummed at the sensation, breath starting to come faster as you began to lose yourself to his ministrations. His fingers were gently drawing circles on the outside of your clit, making sure you didn't get too stimulated right away.

His face lowered in tandem with his fingers, his tongue quickly finding your clit as his fingers prodded at your hole. One slid in and out a few times before the second finger joined and together, they prodded up into that one spot that sent your toes curling, right as he flicked his tongue expertly on your clit. Your orgasm was sudden and blinding, squeezing around his fingers and your hands finding their way to his head, bringing him closer. He groaned into your cunt, lapping at you like his life depended on it. Your moan was loud, head thrown back and back arched sweetly for him as your thighs squeezed around his head. He only eased his onslaught of pleasure as your thighs loosened their grip and you were pushing away his head.

Your chest was heaving from your pleasure, and he was catching his breath from being happily squished between your thighs. He licked the shiny release he could release from his face, dragging the back of his hand across the rest of his face.

"You like being praised that much, princess?" he teased, a smirk on his face as he shed his coat and haramaki with practiced movements. You could only stare as his muscular frame rippled under his tanned skin. He leaned over you, caging you with his hands on either side of your head. He chuckled, but it was different from the dark laugh that promised difficulty walking the next day. There was a light blush on his cheeks, and he looked genuinely happy. You looked in awe, having never seen this expression on his serious face. He brushed his lips on your cheek, then pulled back.

"You deserve to hear it."

You couldn't help it. At those words, tears brimmed your eyes. Zoro panicked. He sat back on his heels and immediately brought you to his lap, holding you.

"Oi! Wait! Don't cry! Did I hurt you? What's wrong?"

You shook your head, a watery smile breaking through.

"Just... who are you and what have you done with my Zoro? You're all sappy!"

He rolled his eyes and flicked your forehead gently.

"I'm tryna be romantic for once, treat you like you treat me constantly" he muttered, scowling as he looked away. You dissolved into giggles.

"There you are! There's the man I love." He huffed.

"Did you wanna fuck or not?" he asked bluntly, shifting his legs so you could feel his hard length trapped in his pants. It sent the heat of arousal swirling through your veins again.

"I wanna make love" you cooed with a smirk in his ear, pressing your chest against his bare skin. He hissed out a breath.

"Lay down then, princess" he growled in your ear. You could feel him smirking against your cheek, "Let me make love to you" he teased, throwing your own words back at you. His fingers trailed down your spine, landing on your hips. You shifted off his lap and made yourself comfy on the blanket. He stood quickly to removed his pants, but you didn't miss the quick scan of the area to make sure you were alone. Not that he cared if people saw the two of you fucking, he just didn't want this experience ruined.

He sank down and crawled over your form, spreading your legs wide to kneel between them. You absolutely loved when he fucked you in missionary. He was so big and strong, and he stretched you out so well. He surrounded you and was inside of you, and it was both a calming and euphoric sensation.

He stroked his large cock with one hand, the other balancing his weight by your head. You dragged your fingernails up his arm, landing on the back of his shoulder.

"Please, Zoro" you murmured. His silver eye widened a little before his lips curved up softly. He lowered himself in a sort of half one-armed pushup to rest on his elbow. You didn't miss the casual show of strength. Showoff. He eased the tip into your wet pussy, and you hissed in a breath through your teeth as you turned your head into his forearm, biting lightly. Zoro laid kisses on your neck and jaw, distracting you from the stretch. His other arm came up to the other side of your head.

"Good girl. Doing so well" he murmured in your ear. You shivered, the words in his deep voice making you groan. He took it as an invitation to continue, and he slowly began to sheath himself into you. You were soaking. His praise, kisses, godly body, and obvious love all affected you deeply.

"Shit. So tight and wet"

Your hands curled into claws, lightly scratching down his back as you whimpered. He shushed you, caressing a finger down you cheek.

"So good. Taking it so well" he murmured before kissing your lips. You could only moan into the kiss. You raised your legs to rest on his sides and hips. He reached deeper and you moaned loudly at the sensation.

"Good fuckin girl. Doing so good for me. Took my whole cock on the first try" He moaned into the flesh of your throat. You whined, arching your back. The new angle hit something devastating deep inside, and you mewled.

"Look at you, so beautiful for me"

"Zoro~ move" you moaned. He started slow, letting you get used to the stretch, but quickly built his pace to a steady, smooth one that sent you keening. His thick cock was dragging along your walls, pulling out enough so his tip was pushing gently on your g spot, before pushing in smoothly with a roll of his hips that had his cockhead pushing that one spot deep inside. Your breath was heaving, interspersed between moans and calls of his name. It was so good, but you couldn't quite reach the peak.

"Please, let me cum" you begged desperately. Zoro grunted above you, raising himself so his palms were beside your head. He hardly broke his rhythm as he looked at you with a dark smile.

"I thought you wanted me to make love to you" he teased. You reached up, cupping his cheek with a hand.

"Romance me later. Fuck me. Now"

"As you wish, princess" he mocked.

He pulled out, kneeling in front of your hips as he slung your legs over his shoulders. He simply picked up your hips, and started slamming his cock in and out of your pussy. Skin slapping together echoed across the field, and your wails followed. With your back bowed off the ground, you had no control over your hips, but the angle was incredible. Your hands gripped the blanket uselessly, unable to hold back your moans and sounds of pleasure. Above you, Zoro was grunting and swearing under his breath. You could tell he was getting close, seeing you bent so sweetly under him.

"God fucking damn it. You're just sucking me in" he growled. You tightened at the praise. You heard him chuckle darkly.

"That's right baby. Feel so good, tightening on my cock like that. I want you to cum for me, like that. Needing me to hold you up like this. You look so pretty, under me like this"

As he spoke, the knot in your abdomen tightened to dangerous levels. Your legs tensed until you were practically hanging from his shoulders. At the new tension holding you up, Zoro could wrap one hand around your thighs holding them together as he held you up, lightly choking himself with your calves on the sides of his neck as he brought one hand to snake around to your torso. His warm hand pressed down on your lower abdomen, and he could feel his own length as he pistoned in and out of you. A new sensation began to build.

"Z-Zoro- something- ah! please! I'm gonna-"

"Go ahead. Cum hard on my fucking cock"

His thumb reached down to draw circles on your clit, and at the rough touch, you exploded. Your mouth opened in a silent scream, and Zoro kept your thighs tightly against himself, slowly only slightly as you tightened around him enough to start to push him out. Your back bowed further, and you felt yourself wetting his torso as you squirted. His body shuddered as his hips stuttered to a stop, a loud groan leaving him as you unwittingly limited the blood flow to his head with your spasming calves. Had your eyes been open and focused, you would've seen his eyes fluttering and rolled back in his head, cumming hard.

Both you were breathless as Zoro lowered your hips back down to the blanket, collapsing beside you, uncaring of the mess.

"holy shit" you breathed. Zoro started to chuckle at your swearing, and you joined, giggling as you rolled to snuggle onto his shoulder. He held you close, and you reveled in the touch. Suddenly you sat up, looking concerned and turned his head to the side to look at his neck.

"Did I choke you? I just realized that maybe my legs-"

"I'm fine. I liked it" he took your hand in yours, looking sheepish, "It's almost like being squeezed by your thighs when I eat you out."

You blinked at him, easing yourself back down.

"Huh. Who would've thought you had a choking kink" you muttered to yourself. Zoro swatted your bare ass lightly in retaliation, but didn't deny your words. He wasn't a liar. The two of you laid there in easy silence, listening to the breeze and inhaling the sweet perfume. You shifted, feeling the uncomfortable squelch of drooling cum from your pussy.

"Let's get cleaned up" your boyfriend suggested, sitting up. Clear droplets rolled down his torso with the movement, and you watched their movements.

"I don't think I've ever cum that hard" you said quietly. Zoro handed you a napkin he produced from his bag.

"Me either" he admitted. You giggled, still somewhat delirious from the post-sex high.

"What did you pack?" you asked curiously. You were starting to get hungry, and you were thirsty from your heaving breaths. Zoro silently handed you your clothes, and you took them gratefully. He began pulling out a meal and drinks from his bag, and it was obvious Sanji packed it with care. You smiled softly, understanding the sentiment. Zoro sucked up his pride to make you happy for a day.

You crawled over to him, still naked, and pressed your chest to his slightly sweaty back as you hugged him. He grunted at your sudden affection, and you leaned forward to kiss his cheek.

"I love you, and I know you love me too. I see it in the small things, the things you can't hide. We love each other, and that's what matters. Don't let what they say get to you. I'll start telling the crew to stay out of it too" you said, determined. He somehow slung you around him and into his lap, an innocent smile on his face.

"Whatever you want to do. As long as you know that I love you"

You smiled easily in return, kissing the tip of his nose.

"Get dressed. You're naked" you said, crawling off his lap. You weren't sure if you could even stand up after that round.

Zoro landed a solid swat to your bare ass retreating from him, "you're one to talk"

------

That evening back on the ship, Brook played your favorite songs, and you were surprised when Zoro thanked Usopp and Robin in front of you. They had gone above and beyond, creating a tiny greenhouse planter for your soon-to-be spring flower garden. Sanji asked if you liked the food, and you thanked him. Even Zoro held his tongue, simply nodding at the cook. That night, as you lay in bed with your boyfriend, you ran your fingers over his earrings before trailing your touch down his jaw. He opened his eye curiously.

"Thank you for today" you murmured. You didn't know how to begin describing how much it meant to you, so you simply kissed him gently, trying to pour your emotion into the kiss. He cupped your cheek, pulling back from the kiss.

"I love you" he muttered. You smiled softly. His walls were up again, but you could never doubt his words. He never lied. Not to you.

"I love you too, Zoro"

[pigcowboys]

Hi I hope you're having a wonderful day <3

I was wondering if you could maybe do percy jackson with a daughter of nyx where they are basically the same person personality wise and have a lot of common interests ( sorry self indulging here🤭). They basically both kin each other lmao

THANK YOU <3

pairing: ꒰percy jackson x nyx! female! reader꒱⋆·˚

summary: general hcs for percy with a nyx! s/o

warning(s): mutual pining, nonsensical bickering, mentions of injuries & kisses

a/n: HIII OMG THIS REQUEST IS SO CUTE :)) i tried my best to do what you requested!! i hope you like it!!

request are closed!

literally off the bat i can see the two of you at each other's throats all the time.

you're just too alike there's no way there's not gonna be bickering man.

"i think we should use a different design."

"who put you in charge?"

"the voices in my head, actually"

"literally what."

i imagine percy kind of being put off by you when he'd first get to camp half-blood like

who are you.

i mean it isn't like he's TRYING to be mean, you're just so annoying sometimes yk.

then i feel like one night he'd sneak out of camp to go stargazing and find you near the shore in his spot.

lowkey annoyed by your presence at first but still proceeds to gaze with you silently. you'd strike up a conversation with him and it'd actually go a lot better than he expected it to go.

okay, maybe you're not that bad.

he'd start to approach you more at camp but like not for any reason at all yk. he just enjoys talking to you, i guess.

probably would be overjoyed when he finds out you have similar interests as him.

you two probably stay up all night talking about the most random stuff.

honestly, those talks are probably the moment when he realizes he..like likes you.

you're just chilling and talking about random shit and he laughs at one of your jokes and has to take a moment because he realized that you're honestly just the best person ever.

and then from that point on he's honestly kind of a mess.

you're so cool to him for some reason?? you'd just be living life and he'd probably just be in the background observing you with big ass heart eyes.

"is there something on my face, perce?"

"huh? uh no, what?"

he knows he likes you but just doesn't know how to say it?? i mean, do YOU even like him back..??

aghhhh it's honestly so draining to him.

he's not shy. just kind of stupid when it comes to feelings.

probably tried to "woo" you somehow by buying you ocean related stuff whenever you go out together.

played it off as him just having some change.

he is willing to go bankrupt for you.

i feel like one day he just got tired of dropping hits and just decided to go for it cause like, you've known each other for a minute.

he'd meet you at that star gazing spot and literally just spill all his feelings for you.

"don't say anything but what if i told you you're an amazing person and probably the coolest person i've ever met in my life and that i'm literally head over heels for you because you're smart and funny and pretty and you're just the best?"

"what?"

and you start dating!! woo!!

HES SO SWEET!!!

once you start dating he def gets a bit more of a confidence boost.

always boasting about the fact he's dating you like everyone else doesn't already now from the way he's always clinging to you.

and if you're not into physical touch no worries!! he's completely and totally fine with it!! probably asks permission to give you hugs and hold your hand.

beach dates.

you'd be that one sappy couple who interlocking hands and walks down the beach together UGHH

he would def be the type of guy to go to you after every quest so you can patch him up. do you even know how to patch him up?? probably not! can't he just use some ambrosia?? yes.

doesn't mean he won't stop.

"percy, what the fuck happened!?"

"what do you mean?? :)"

kind of scared of your mother but would never admit it to your face.

i feel like he'd make some kind of big plan to try and kiss you but it'd ultimately fail.

he'd pull up to you with some beautiful ass flowers with a big grin on his face.

would take you to some really secluded spot that he'd decorated with a bunch of different things and homemade food!! (sally helped him.)

things would be going good till it starts to rain.

not that it's a problem for him at all but it kills the freaking mood.

"i'm so sorry.."

"for what?"

"how this turned out, it was supposed to be this big and..romantic thing."

"it's okay, we can have other dates."

"no like..i wanted us to kiss."

"..."

"..."

"who says we can't right now..?"

"oh."

he's in heaven when you finally kiss for the first time!! you're literally so amazing like wtf he got so lucky.

from that point on you two are locked in for life.

he's everywhere you are, you're everywhere he is NO MATTER WHAT.

he's so in love.

[todayisawthewhxlewxrld]

"you can do whatever you want, you're not Stuck With Me."

"i'll tell you one thing, we'd make history, you and me. you're getting closer now, it's getting better now, but you're still so far gone."

synopsis// bottled up feelings have to come out eventually.

pairing// suguru geto x gn!reader

word count// 8k

contents// angst with a happy ending, college!au, literally just y/n and geto being idiots but mostly y/n, shoko only knows tough love, obligatory rain scene, friends to lovers, ooc geto?

notes// scorpions are haunting me so i’m posting this as a distraction. anyways one of my anons requested this!!! so anon i hope i did ur idea justice and that u like it sorry its kinda all over the place.... anywho so besides this being a request, it was also inspired by the song the point by eatmewhileimhot! bye :3 OH and if anyone else has any other requests feel free to lmk!!

You poke at your food, focusing on the sound your fork makes as it scrapes against your plate instead of whatever the person sitting across from you is saying. You know you should pay attention; you know you’re being rude, but god, are you bored out of your fucking mind. You would much rather be hanging out with Suguru right now, feeling a twinge of regret at turning him down just for this.

“Y/N?” 

Your head raises to look at the person in front of you. “Huh?” 

They laugh nervously. “Did you hear anything I just said?”

You frown sheepishly. “Uh, no, sorry.”

“It’s fine,“ they say, clearing their throat, “I was just saying how I kinda wish we went somewhere else cause I'm craving zaru soba, but I wanted to impress you, you know?”

You nod, not computing the last of his sentence with your brain stuck on the mention of zaru soba. “Suguru likes that.”

“What?”

“Zaru soba—Suguru likes that.”

Your date shoots you a confused stare, and you subconsciously sink into your chair.

“Is, uh, is there something on my face or?” you ask, bringing your hands up to feel around your face.

They shake their head. “No, it’s just—uh, you bring up this Suguru guy a lot, and by a lot, I mean like you’ve brought him up this whole date...”

“I have?” 

They nod. 

“Shit—i’m sorry..” 

“It’s fine.” They dismiss your apology by asking, “What is he to you anyway?”

You stare at him blankly. That’s an easy question. Suguru, to you, is your—he’s your—

“He your friend or something?”

Yes! Suguru is your friend—your best friend even—so why can't you say it out loud? Why are you hesitating?

You laugh nervously, mumbling, “Or something...”

“Or something?” they repeat in hopes you’ll elaborate on what you mean.

You don’t.

Instead, you stand abruptly out of your seat and gather your things. “Um! You know, this has been really great and all, but I actually think I should get going.”

"Oh, okay,” they say, standing up with you. “Uh, do you wanna do this again maybe?”

“You're a lovely person, but...

“It's Suguru, isn't it?”

“What?” You almost choke on your spit as you frantically stammer, “No, uh, no! It's not Suguru-Suguru’s just my-it's-“ you pause for a moment, taking a deep breath to calm yourself down. “It's not because of him.”

They curtly hum. “Thanks for giving me a chance anyway.”

You nod. “I'm gonna—I'm gonna go.”

☆☆☆☆

Suguru is face down on a pillow on his bed when Gojo walks into their shared dorm.

“What happened now?” He asks as he goes to sit on the edge of Suguru’s bed.

“Y/N’s on a date,” he grumbles into the pillow, his words barely audible.

Gojo rolls his eyes. "Suguru, this is just sad at this point.”

Suguru lifts his head and glares at Gojo from over his shoulder. His eyes burning holes into the other's head.

“What? It is!” 

Suguru groans and kicks Gojo as he buries his face back into his pillow.

“Ow! Don’t get mad at me for telling the truth!”

Suguru kicks him again.

“Stop that! You’re acting like a child!”

“You’re one to talk.”

“Ok, listen, this isn’t about me,” Gojo adds, rolling his eyes.

Suguru rolls onto his back and drapes an arm over his face, muttering, “Whatever.”

“Oh my fucking god,” Gojo grumbles as he stands up and walks over to his own bed. “I can't take this, Suguru.“ He grabs his pillow and throws it at Suguru. "You can't do this every time they go on a date!”

Suguru doesn’t even flinch when the pillow lands on his face, nor does he bother moving it as he responds, “Watch me.”

Gojo walks back over to Suguru and grabs the pillow from his face before resuming his position on the end of Suguru's bed. "How long has it been?”

“Since?”

“Since you first started liking them.”

Suguru hesitates to answer, “Too long.”

“Exactly!” Gojo exclaims, shaking the pillow in his hands for dramatic effect. “Maybe…”

Suguru waits a moment to see if Gojo will finish his sentence, and when he doesn’t, Suguru sits up, quirking up his eyebrow at him as he asks slowly, as if attempting to subtly warn Gojo to pick his next words carefully: "Maybe what, Gojo?”

“Maybe it’s time to try and move on, Suguru…” He frowns and asks softly, “Are you just gonna torture yourself like this for the rest of your life?”

Suguru sighs and turns away from Gojo, a small frown on his face. He knows he’s right, but he’s scared in all honesty because, on the one hand, what if it works? What if he actually does move on? What if it was this easy to move on this whole time and he was just here torturing himself for nothing? And on the other hand, he doesn't want it to. He’s liked you for so long. You've taken up so much of his heart that, at this point, he thinks his heart is shaped like you, and it would feel wrong to not like you. He can't imagine himself not being completely and utterly devoted to you, and he doesn’t think he wants to.

“Suguru.” 

Suguru's brows knit together as he looks up at Gojo.

Gojo sighs. “Just try? One date. That’s all I’m asking.”

Suguru rolls his eyes, but there’s no real malice behind it. “I don’t even know anybody, Gojo.”

He perks up at the absence of rejection and happily explains, “Don’t worry bout that; leave it all up to me!" He emphasizes the word 'me' by pointing toward himself.

“Ok, well, that makes me even more inclined to say no.”

"Suguru, pleaseee,” Gojo begs. “Just one date!! That’s all I’m asking! You’re my friend, Suguru, and I know I don’t act like it, but I really do hate seeing you like this.”

Suguru crosses his arms and raises his eyebrow at him in suspicion, wondering, “Why are you being nice?”

“Because, contrary to popular belief, I do in fact care about my friends.”

Suguru breathes out heavily at his response, letting a brief silence wash over them.

“So..." Gojo pries. 

“Fine.”

“Yay!-“

Suguru instantly cuts him off, one finger raised, as he emphasizes sharply, “But just one date, Gojo.“

“Good enough for me!” he says, nodding quickly. “This will be the best date of your life, and you’ll realize you don’t even like Y/N all that much!”

Suguru feels like the wind’s been knocked out of him from that statement but quickly plays it off with a scoff, “Yeah, or it’s the worst date of my life, and I realize just how much more I like Y/N.”

“Ok, well,“ Gojo frowns and scratches his head awkwardly, “Can we at least try to be optimistic?”

“Fine.”

☆☆☆☆

Shoko’s sitting on her bed with her textbook in her lap when you enter your dorm, kicking your shoes off haphazardly across the room and slamming the door shut.

“You good?”

You groan in response as you sluggishly make your way toward her, pushing the book off her lap and instead replacing it with your head.

She looks down at you with a raised eyebrow. “I was reading that, you know.”

You groan again, but this time it comes out louder and more gutteral.

“Are you gonna tell me what's wrong, or are you gonna just lay here in my lap groaning?” she asks, rolling her eyes.

You pout, looking up at her. “Is there something wrong with me?”

“Where should I start?”

“Shoko,” you whine.

She bites back a smile as she asks, “Why would you think something's wrong with you?”

“I don’t know,” you mutter. “I mean, I go on so many dates, right?”

Shoko nods and hums something in acknowledgment.

“But they all never end up working out! Like none of them!” You exclaim, throwing your hands out in front of you, barely missing Shoko, who jerks her head to the side just in time. “They always all say the same thing.”

She pushes your hands back down so that she can return to her original position and asks, “Which is?”

You let your hands fall onto your chest as you turned your head to the side to avoid her gaze, mumbling, “That I mention Suguru a lot.”

You don’t even have to look back up at her to know she’s raising her eyebrows at you in question.

“Well, do you?”

Your gaze snaps back up at her as you exclaim, “Yeah, but!” You pause. “He's my… He's my best friend, so obviously I'd mention him a lot!”

The word best friend feels heavy and foreign in your mouth, like it shouldn’t have been there in the first place. You’ve never had to put a label on you and Suguru, not until the dates at least, but even then, you and Suguru were just... simply that. You were just you and Suguru.

“Really feeling the love here.”

“Shokoooooo.”

She rolls her eyes. “You were just on a date, right?”

You nod. 

“And so what happened?”

“Nothing! I was bored; I'm always bored on these dates.”

"Okay, hypothetically,” she says, “What would you have rather been doing?”

“Hanging out with Suguru! I always tell myself that I'm literally gonna stop canceling on him for dates because I always end up regretting it.”

“Right, right,” she says, nodding. “Y/N, have you ever considered that maybe you like Geto?”

You roll your eyes. “Of course I like Suguru, idiot. Did you not just hear me call him my-“

She cuts you off: “Your best friend. Yeah, whatever; that's not what I mean. I mean, like. romantically.”

“Huh?” Shoko’s words take a minute to fully register in your brain, but once they do, your jaw drops. “Huh?! Pft, no, of course not, that is... That is a… That is a silly thought.”

She stares down at you blankly, knowing the way you just stumbled over your whole sentence reveals your lack of conviction in your own words. "Right… Well, if you’re gonna be an idiot in denial, can you do that in your own bed? I need to study.”

You roll your eyes as you sit up. “Is studying all you do?”

She shrugs, and now that her lap is free from you, she places her textbook back into her lap. “Is obsessing over Geto all you do?”

“I don't like you.”

“You love me. Now leave me alone.”

You begrudgingly hop off her bed and into your own, making it a point to sigh dramatically the whole time. Once you're in your own bed, your phone goes off, and upon seeing who the message is from, you bite back a smile.

Shoko looks up from her textbook at the noise. “Oh? That your man?”

“Shut your mouth.”

She simply laughs under her breath before returning to her studies, and you happily return your attention back to your phone. 

Suguru<3: hey

Y/N: hey!

Suguru<3: oh I didn't expect you to reply so quick lol. I thought u were on a date?

Y/N: was :/ that shit suckedddddd it was so boring Suguru pls I would've much rather hung out with you

Suguru<3: well I mean u could've

Y/N: I KNOWWWW ugh next time remind me to never cancel on you for a lame date again k?

Suguru<3: yeah I will… so I'm taking it you won't be seeing them again?

Y/N: definitely not... I do wanna see u again tho!!

Suguru<3: you'll see me in class y/n

Y/N: yeah but that's so far awayyyyy

Suguru<3: yk if u wanna hangout rn u can just say so 

Y/N: do u wanna hang out?

Suguru<3: he can't he's busy -gojo 

Y/N: gojo when I get my hands on u. 

Suguru<3: :p -gojo

You groan dramatically and throw your phone somewhere onto your bed as you shove your face into your pillow, mumbling, “I'm going to sleep.”

“Eager to see your man tomorrow?”

“Die.”

☆。*。☆。☆。*。☆。☆。*。☆。☆。*。☆。☆。

Gojo and Suguru are walking to class when Gojo starts humming obnoxiously, like he’s thinking about something and wants someone to notice, so he doesn’t stop until Suguru sighs.

“Can you shut up?”

Gojo frowns and feigns hurt. “Aren’t you gonna ask me what I’m thinking about?”

“Fine, what are you thinking about, Gojo?”

Gojo slightly leans in toward Suguru as he coos, “Thinking about who I’m gonna set you up with, obviously!”

"Oh, right about that...”

“Nuh uh, you can't back out!”

“But I think they might feel the same?” Suguru says, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly.

Gojo’s head whips toward Suguru in shock. “Wait huh?” 

“Before you stole my phone yesterday—which I’m still mad about, by the way—they said they would’ve rather hung out with me than go on the date,” he says, pulling out his phone to show Gojo the texts.

Gojo doesn’t say anything, and the lack of anything coming out of his mouth worries Suguru, who’s now scanning Gojo’s face for a trace of anything to tell him what the other is thinking and gets it when Gojo finally cracks a frown.

“What? Why do you look like that?” Suguru asks, and he hates how it comes out more panicked than he intended, his own voice like nails on a chalkboard to his ears.

“I don't wanna say anything that would get your hopes up,” Gojo says, his gaze now fixed on his steps. “And besides, maybe this date could still be good.”

“You’re not gonna let me get out of this, are you?”

“Of course not!” he says, his regular pep back in his step. “So does tomorrow work for you?”

“Yeah, whatever, Gojo, you’d make me go regardless, I don’t know why you ask.”

“Lol, true anyway." Gojo’s steps come to a halt. "Here’s my class; see you later!”

Suguru waves him off: "Yeah, whatever, oh, and Gojo?”

“Hm?”

“At least set me up with someone good," he says, an ever-so-slight smile on his face.

“Of course! Leave it all up to me, bestie!”

Suguru nods and continues on toward his own class, only then does he huff, “Yeah, I don’t know if that’s a good idea.”

☆☆☆☆

You sat in your seat, your cheek leaning in your palm, sighing every so often from boredom but quickly perking up when you notice a familiar face walk through the door.

“Suguru!” 

“Y/N!”

Your gaze is glued to him as you watch him take his seat beside you; only once he’s fully situated do you speak up again: “I was wondering if you were skipping or something.”

Suguru tilts his head at you in confusion, asking, “Why?”

“Because you took so long.”

He tries to ignore the heat rising to his cheeks. “Did you miss me that much?”

“Shut up. What were you doing anyway?”

Suguru rolls his eyes. “Gojo made me walk him to class.”

You raise an eyebrow at him, your voice unamused as you speak, “Lame excuse, I walk with Shoko to her class every day and I still get here before you.”

“Yeah, that’s cause it’s Shoko?”

“True, I’ll excuse it for today if...”

“If?” He narrows his eyes at you, urging you to continue your sentence.

“If we hang out tomorrow?”

“Can we hang out today?” He looks away as he says, “I’m kinda busy tomorrow....”

“Aw man,” you say, frowning, “You’re never busy.”

“I know, sorry, it’s just—" He halts before mumbling out the rest of his sentence—“something Gojo’s making me do.”

Suguru finally returns his gaze to you when he hears you huff.

“He’s taking you from me too often; I'll have to intervene sooner or later if he keeps this up.”

He stifles a laugh. “Can you not today?”

“Nope, I've gotta work on a project for one of my classes,” you say with a disappointed sigh.

“Okay, well, how about Wednesday, then?”

“I can fit you into my schedule, I suppose.”

“Oh shut up; don’t act like you weren’t the one asking me to hang out last night.”

“I was a different person then,” you deadpan.

Suguru rolls his eyes but can’t even try to hide the grin on his face. “Yeah, ok.”

☆。*。☆。☆。*。☆。☆。*。☆。☆。*。☆。☆。

Come the next afternoon, Suguru finds himself staring into a mirror at his outfit with a small scowl on his face.

“I look stupid.”

“You always look stupid,” Gojo remarks, patting Suguru on the back.

Suguru ignores him and rolls his eyes, his voice small as he borderline pleads, “Do I really have to go?”

“Yes! It’s too late to back out now when your date is in like twenty minutes, so really you should get going by now,” he says while attempting to push Suguru out the door.

Suguru doesn’t budge. “I don't even know this person, Gojo.”

“That’s what dates are for!”

Suguru looks over his shoulder at Gojo, who’s still trying to push him out the door. “You know this isn’t gonna work, right?”

Gojo rolls his eyes and huffs, “Well, not with that attitude.”

“Gojo.”

“Suguru, you said you’d try! so go! try!”

Suguru sighs and reluctantly gives in… again. “I hate you.”

Gojo waves him off, “Yeah, yeah, whatever you can hate me after your date.”

Suguru doesn’t reply and instead opts to flip him off as he walks out the door.

☆☆☆☆

Suguru sits at a secluded booth in a dimly lit restaurant, lost in thought rather than listening to whatever the person sitting across from him is saying. He knows he should be paying attention; he knows he’s being rude, but god is he bored out of his fucking mind, and to say he’s hating every second of this is an understatement. He’d much rather be hanging out with you right now, regretting turning you down for this because just being here makes a part of him feel like he’s betraying you, and the thought has him anxiously wiping his sweaty palms against his pants. He’s been in love with you since he first laid eyes on you. Suguru was naive to believe he could delude himself into thinking that there was any possibility in any way that he’d move on, let alone with someone Gojo picked.

“Suguru?”

He quickly looks up at the person in front of him. “Yeah?”

They laugh nervously. “Did you hear anything I just said?”

“No, sorry—I guess I was just, uh, lost in thought.”

"Oh, it’s fine,” they say, confusingly normal about the whole situation. “I was just, um, talking about your friend Gojo, actually.”

He blinks. “Why?”

“I was actually hoping you'd help me get with him?”

“You do realize you're on a date with me, right?”

“Please.” They roll their eyes. “Don't act like you wanna be here any more than I do right now.”

“How did-“

“It's written all over your face, you know? They must be really special.” They tease with a sweet smile, “I almost feel like I should be jealous.”

Suguru swallows harshly, suddenly feeling way more exposed than he would ever want to, especially on a ‘date’. “Sorry…”

They shrug. “Don't be; honestly, I just said yes to this to get some pointers on Gojo, so I don't think I'm any better than you right now.”

Suguru nods, his mind reeling. He’s not actually sure what’s going on or how he got here in the first place. How could his date be so okay with the fact that he’s here thinking about someone else? Oh, right, because so are they, but it’s still not clicking in his brain.

“You can leave if you want.”

He narrows his eyes at them skeptically. “Huh?”

“To go hang out with the one you actually like.”

Suguru shakes his head. There’s somehow too much happening right now for him to comprehend. “Again, what?”

They roll their eyes playfully, an amused smile on their face, as they lean over the table and whisper, “Suguru, I'm giving you an out.”

He blinks, and suddenly everything clicks, and he doesn’t understand why he’s still here when they just told him they could go to you. He stands up abruptly and says, “Right, I'm...“

“Don't say you're sorry; make it up to me by going to them, yeah?”

“I really appreciate that. Uhm, text me and I'll give you pointers on Gojo?”

They laugh and nod. “Yeah. Now, shoo, go to the one you actually want to be with.”

Suguru turns his head toward the exit of the restaurant, ready to leave, but pauses and ends up turning back to his ‘date’, a small smile on his face. “Thank you.”

“Mhm! Also, I want to meet them sometime, k? We’re friends now, sorry!”

“Yeah… Yeah, you can. Someday? Maybe…”

They tilt their head at him, unamused despite the smile on their face. “Bye Suguru.”

He returns the smile and waves before heading off to find you.

☆☆☆☆

You found yourself under a tree somewhere on campus, attempting—and failing—to entertain yourself since Suguru was busy and couldn't hang out, and you didn't even dare try to go to Shoko for entertainment, knowing her face is probably stuffed into her textbook and she would berate you for interrupting her, or if she did agree, she would spend the whole time with her whole face screaming how she would much rather be studying, even when her studying proves to be just for fun because she cheats on her exams anyway, but you digress. Lost in thought, you don't notice how someone’s approached you until their shadow falls over you.

“You dead?”

You look up and are pleasantly surprised to see Suguru. “Hey! I thought you were busy?”

Suguru shrugs. “Left early.”

“What’d you go do anyway?”

“A date.”

The minute the words leave Suguru’s mouth, you can feel your stomach churn in a horrible way. like you’re on a rollercoaster, but it's not fun; you want to get off, and you want to get off now, like this is final destination and you’re about to fall to your doom. Or more so, this makes you realize you've already fallen to your doom; you've already fallen in love with Suguru, and it took Shoko saying something and him going on a date for it to really sink in like it hadn't been there all along. Your jaw clenches, and you're quiet—terrifyingly quiet—and it makes Suguru regret saying anything; he doesn’t even know why he did... Okay, no, he knows. He knows he was acting petty and wanted to rub it in your face like you rub your dates in his, even if not purposeful, and besides, you two are friends, and friends are honest with each other. But maybe he shouldn’t have been, and it's excrutiatingly obvious he shouldn't have been when you suddenly stand up and avoid his gaze.

“Y/N?”

You kick at the dirt under your shoes and mumble, “I should, um, Shoko actually just texted me.”

“Y/N, can you look at me, please?” Suguru sounds desperate.

You look up at him and smile, but with the way your eyes are glazed over, it’s like you’re not even there. “Yeah?” 

“I thought we could hang out now?” 

“Yeah, but—ugh—Shoko really needs my help, you know?”

“Are we still on for tomorrow at least?”

“I hope your date was good, Suguru.”

“Y/N-“

“If I keep her waiting any longer, she’ll be really mad. I’m gonna go.”

☆。*。☆。☆。*。☆。☆。*。☆。☆。*。☆。☆。

Suguru wishes he could say he’s surprised when you don’t show up to class the next day, but he’s not. Not at all. Especially from the way you ran off yesterday to how you’re still not answering any of his texts or calls, it was a telltale sign that Suguru would not be seeing you today. That didn’t stop him from trying, though. Of course not. So halfway through class, he left—not like he was paying attention anyway—and made his way to your dorm. Though he hesitates to knock once he’s actually there, he doesn’t even know why you’re ignoring him in the first place, and honestly? He’s scared to find out.

You’ve never acted like this with him before; you’ve always been an open book, always the first to speak up if something he did upset you, so he doesn’t understand why you’ve suddenly done a complete 180. He takes a deep breath before knocking. He came all this way; he isn’t going to just leave without figuring out what's wrong—or at least he’s going to try to figure out what's wrong.

No answer.

He knocks again.

No answer.

Suguru groans as he goes to knock one more time, but before he can, the door is swung open, and he’s met with a disheveled-looking Shoko.

“What?”

“Shoko, hi—“ Suguru gives her a quick once-over. "Sorry, were you asleep?”

She crosses her arms and blows a tuft of hair out of her face. “I was, and I'd like to go back to sleep, so-“

“Right, sorry, uh, is Y/N here?”

“No,” she replies quickly, far too quickly that Suguru doesn't believe her and instead tries to look into the room to find you. Shoko immediately picks up on this and shifts her body to cover any gaps he could look through. “They aren’t here, sorry.”

“Shoko,” he monotones.

She chews the inside of her lip and looks away, and Suguru can tell she's dying to say something, but she ultimately decides against it and shakes her head, looking back up at him.

“They’re not here, sorry.”

Suguru sighs, running a hand through his hair. “It's fine, sorry for waking you.”

“It's fine… Take care of yourself, Geto.”

“Yeah. You too.”

Shoko quickly shuts the door, and instead of climbing back into bed, she grabs her pillow and makes her way toward your bed, only to end up hitting you with it repeatedly. You pull your covers over your head in a futile attempt to protect yourself.

“Shoko, stop!”

“You stop.” She punctuates every word with a hit of her pillow.

“You’re the one hitting me!”

Shoko hits you one last time. “I mean, stop ignoring him, idiot.”

You peek your head out from under the covers, a frown on your face.

“Don't look at me like that; you’re acting childish, and you know that.”

“I can’t look at him.”

“You’re dramatic.”

“Shoko, I'm serious!” You speak adamantly, sitting up. “I mean, I realize I like him the exact moment he tells me he went on a date?”

“Who’s fault is that?”

“Shoko, I-I can't.”

“Whatever, sulk all you want; don't talk to him about it; I don't care; just scoot over.”

Your face twists in confusion. “What?”

“I'm tired,” she says blankly, now climbing into your bed.

You listen and scoot over, though it's more like she pushes you over. “You know you have your own bed, right?”

She yawns: “Too far away.”

You look down at her, and she's somehow already fast asleep. You roll your eyes and lay back down, looking up at the ceiling with your mind racing, and suddenly your phone vibrates. You know who it is; he’s the only one who texts you, but that doesn’t stop you from checking anyway.

Suguru<3: hey. 

Suguru<3: did I do something?

Suguru<3: I don't understand.

Suguru<3: you weren't in class so I tried going to ur dorm. shoko said you weren't there but I don't really believe her.

Suguru<3: can you just talk to me please?

Suguru<3: I miss you.

Suguru<3: guess this means we aren’t hanging out today huh?

Suguru<3: text me soon please.

☆☆☆☆

Thursday 

Suguru<3: no class again?

Suguru<3: look I get it

Suguru<3: okay maybe I don't.

Suguru<3: I don't know what I did wrong but if you don't wanna talk that's fine

Suguru<3: can you just let me know you’re okay?

Suguru<3: fuck I don't even care if you have shoko tell me you’re okay or if you tell gojo I just

Suguru<3: I just need to know you’re okay y/n. 

Suguru<3: how long are you gonna avoid me?

Suguru<3: or avoid class?

Suguru<3: I miss you.

“Can you answer your fucking phone,” Shoko snaps.

You glare at her and instead shut your phone off completely. “There. Happy?”

"No, not at all; I won't be happy till you stop sulking.”

You smile at her condescendingly. "You are so lovely; did you know that?”

She sighs deeply. “Y/N, you’re ignoring Geto because he went on one date.”

“I'm ignoring him because I'm in love with him.”

She narrows her eyes at you. “And he's supposed to know that how? I'm a hundred percent sure the poor boy has no clue what he did.”

“Shoko, you don't get it! You've never been in love,” you sneer.

“I don't need to be in love to know you're acting stupid.” She shakes her head. “You know what? Ignore him all you want; that's your problem, but you need to go to class; don't throw away your college degree for him.”

You sigh, finally agreeing with her on at least one thing. “Yeah... Yeah, I know I'll go tomorrow.”

She nods happily. “Good. Now can I get back to studying?”

“I'm not the one who made you stop, you took that upon yourself.”

“Watch yourself; I'll walk my ass straight to Geto's dorm and tell him for you.”

“…Sorry”

☆。*。☆。☆。*。☆。☆。*。☆。☆。*。☆。☆。

You get to class the next day extremely early and take a seat in the far back, away from everyone else, hoping Suguru would somehow not see you, or maybe more like in hopes you wouldn’t see him. It doesn't work. The minute he walks in, his eyes are drawn to yours like there was an invisible string there tying him directly to you, and your stomach twists as you see him approach you. As he’s approaching you, he sees your face, and he sees how you look like you're five seconds away from vomiting up everything you’ve ever eaten since you were born, so he stops in his tracks. Besides, a confrontation in the middle of class wouldn't be a good idea either way, so he’ll just catch you after class.

That somehow proves to be much harder than it should have been because once class ends and he turns around to catch you before you leave, you're already gone. He blinks incredulously at your empty seat for a moment before snapping out of it and running out into the halls, trying to find you among the crowd of people, which is easy for him considering you're the only thing that exists to Suguru right now and pretty much always, but even despite that, he can't find you. He stands in the hall, watching people pass him by as he does nothing, and the only thing he can hear is his heartbeat ringing in his ears and the rain that suddenly started sometime during all of this.

He finally snaps out of it once more and realizes that since it randomly started raining, there's a chance that you're somewhere waiting the rain out, unless you are so dead set on avoiding him that you don't care in the first place and walk back to your dorm in the rain anyway... Suguru hopes he's right as he starts walking toward the exit, and exhales heavily in relief when he sees you out on the porch and slowly creeps up behind you.

“Did you know it was gonna rain?”

You flinch at the sound of his voice. “No.”

Suguru’s heart feels like it's about to burst right out of his chest, and he feels like it's been way too long since he's heard your voice. “I think Gojo is gonna bring me an umbrella; do you wanna wait with me?”

“No.”

“No?”

You shake your head and start walking out into the rain, but you don't get far when Suguru reaches out and grabs your wrist.

“Wait!”

You look back at him, your jaw clenched tight. “Let go of me, Suguru.”

“You’ll get sick.”

You yank your wrist out of his grasp. “I don't care; I want to go back to my dorm.”

For a few moments, Suguru feels stuck in place as he watches you begin to walk away, yet everything in his being is screaming at him to go after you, to not let you go. He doesn’t even realize he was holding his breath this whole time until he gasps for air, and at the same time, his body finally decides to align with his mind, and he runs after you. You can hear his foot steps pattering against puddles, which only makes you speed up your walking.

Suguru notices this, and although he's still chasing after you, he decides to call out a pained, “Why are you ignoring me?”

You almost don't even hear him over how loud the rain has grown.

Almost.

“I'm not ignoring you, Suguru,” you say, stopping in your tracks with a deep sigh. He’ll catch you sooner or later, so maybe it's best to just get it over with.

Suguru doesn’t say anything until he's right behind you. You can hear just how clearly his voice trembles as he says, “Oh, so we’re lying now?”

“I'm no-“

“What the fuck happened? What are you doing?” and although he sounded exasperated only a second ago, when he speaks again, it's horrifyingly subdued: “This—this isn't us.”

You whip around to face him, a scowl on your face as you fume, “There is no us.”

Suguru’s face goes blank. No us? That's not right. That's all there is. There's only ever been an us because Suguru is not him without you. It's never just Suguru. It's you and Suguru; it's him and you; there's no him without you.

“What?”

“There is no us, Suguru; that's—“ you say, gesturing in little circles with your hands in front of you, trying to act out whatever word you're looking for. “That's the fucking problem.”

“I don't—“ His voice is breathy as he shakes his head in confusion. “What are you saying, Y/N?”

“You know what I'm saying.”

“No,” he says sternly, "No, I don't. I need to hear you say it.”

You take a deep breath and squeeze your eyes shut, focusing on the rain falling against your face rather than the words coming out of your mouth: “I'm in love with you.”

The silence is suffocating, and you're violently aware of how you can feel Suguru’s eyes burning holes into you. You swallow harshly before peeking your eyes open, and he’s just standing there wide-eyed, his jaw slack.

“Suguru?”

“Why now?”

With his voice so small and brittle, you hardly even heard him.

“Huh?”

“Why now?” he repeats, this time louder, harsher.

“I don't—I don't understand?”

Suguru laughs in disbelief. He brings his hands up to cover his face, and he just laughs into them or cries; he's not even quite sure anymore. And after a few moments of this, he finally takes a deep breath, running one hand down his face as the other drops back to his side. “Do you know how long I’ve been in love with you, Y/N?”

“What?” You’re hopeful for a moment, but that all comes quickly crashing down, realization washing over you. “Wait, but you went on a date.”

“Y/N, it's been so long that Gojo got tired of me wallowing in my own self-pity every time you went on a date.” He sighs and takes a moment to collect his thoughts. “So he forced me to go on one too to try and help me move on.”

“Why didn't you wait for me?”

“What?”

“You heard me.”

Suguru doesn't know whether to nod or shake his head. “No, I know, but I don't understand.”

Your face scrunches up in disdain, silently reading—what's there to not understand? “Why didn't you wait for me to fall in love with you?”

“Y/N, do you even hear what you're saying right now?” he scoffs. “Do you even hear what I'm saying? All I've ever fucking done was wait for you, and I go on one date that I left early for you, and now I'm the bad guy?”

Your heart sinks like a bag of rocks into a deep body of water. “No wait, Suguru, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that. I'm sorry.”

Suguru looks down, avoiding your stare, carefully tapping a puddle with the tip of his shoe as he mumbles, “Yeah.”

“Do-“ you stop yourself and swallow harshly before continuing, “Are you still in love with me?”

He stays silent, and embarrassment floods your bones. How could he still love you? You, who's been subconsciously dangling a treat in front of him like some kind of animal just to coax him into doing what you want, into staying with you, following you around, just because you were too out of touch to realize you even liked him in the first place. Of course, he wouldn't still love you.

“Of course I am. Don't be silly,” he reluctantly admits.

Relief washes over you, and the breath you take feels like the first one you've taken since Tuesday, when he told you about his date in the first place. “So... now what?”

The same relief does not wash over Suguru; in fact, he's feeling anything but relief. Too many things to name, to pin point; it's just all too much. This is just too much. “I need space; I can't—" he shakes his head, his voice barely above a whisper, "I can't do this right now.”

“What?”

“I just. I can't. I'm sorry.”

Your voice cracks, “But-“

“I just need to think about this,” he says, waving his hands around in small circles, referencing the two of you.

“Oh.” You take a step back and nod. “Okay. I'll go then... I love you, Suguru.”

“Yeah,” he nods. “Yeah, I love you too.”

Suguru watches you walk away, and he can't tell his tears apart from the rain; can’t tell if his heart is stopping or if it's racing; can't tell if he's breathing or suffocating; he can't tell anything. His surroundings are drowning out and blurring into vague shapes and figures around him, and Suguru is sure he could just drop dead right then and there.

“Jeez, I didn't take that long that you had to walk out in the rain, dramatic much?”

Suguru, in all honesty, didn’t hear a word that was just said; the only thing that caught his attention was the lack of rain hitting him. He looks up to find an umbrella there instead of the dark cloudy sky that resembled his insides a little too much, then looks to his side to find Gojo there, and he wants to wipe the stupid grin off his face. If he can't be happy, why should Gojo? His head drops in defeat at his own thoughts. God, he’s acting shitty.

“Sorry.”

Gojo looks at him curiously. “You good?”

“No. No, I'm not good.”

"Hey dude, what's wrong?”

Suguru lets out a harsh laugh, and with no rain hitting him anymore, he knows for sure the thing dripping down his face is tears. “I fucked up.“

Gojo scans Suguru’s face frantically, looking for something—anything—that will tell him what's wrong with his best friend.

“Suguru, you have to be a little more specific than that.”

“Y/N loves me back.”

Gojo goes wide-eyed, and he gives a confused smile because how could this warrant his friend’s reaction? “What dude, that's gr-“

Suguru quickly cuts him off: "Great, I know, but I told them to give me space, Gojo.”

Frankly, Gojo isn't even worried anymore; he’s just in complete disbelief, shouting, “What? Why the hell would you do that?! Are you stupid?”

“Maybe!” he shouts back, trembling. “I don't know! They just— They went on about how I should've waited for them, and I was mad because that's all I've ever fucking done. I don't know; I wasn't thinking straight, and I fucked up, and they left. I made them leave. I asked for space when I hated all the space we've had from each other this whole week, and I asked for more?” He repeatedly hits his forehead with his palm, muttering, “I'm an idiot, fuck.“

“Suguru.”

“What?”

Gojo tilts his head at him. “Why are you still here?”

The question stills his movements, his hand falling back to his side, and he stares at Gojo in pure confusion. “What?”

“You obviously know that space isn't what you want, and you just said it in the heat of the moment, so why are you still here?”

Suguru is silent.

“Why aren't you running after them? They want you, dude! And you want them too!”

Suguru thinks if it weren’t for Gojo constantly moving, he'd think time had completely stopped in time with his realization on how he’s a complete moron.

“Suguru.”

Suguru sighs. “I hate when you're right; you know that?”

Gojo perks up knowing that he got through to Suguru; he coos sing-song, “If that were true, you'd hate me all the time.”

Suguru nods, “I do.”

“Oh, shut up." Gojo extends the handle of his umbrella toward Suguru. “Do you want my umbrella?”

“No, it’s fine; I’m already wet,” Suguru says, looking down at his soaked clothes as he wipes any remaining tears away. “What’s a little bit more water?”

“Good luck, Suguru.”

“Thanks Gojo.”

☆☆☆☆

You walk into your dorm slowly, in a daze-like state. Honestly, you don't even remember walking here; you just remember your fight? confession? argument? — your something with Suguru, and then there's a lapse in your memory, and now you're here.

“Y/N, dude, you're getting water everywhere.“

You sniffle and look down at the puddle that's forming underneath you. “Sorry.”

Shoko tentatively stands up from her bed and cranes her neck down to try and look at your face. “Y/N? Are you okay?”

You look up at her with a wobbly smile. “I confessed.”

She looks at you blankly, unsure if she should say something or if you are.

“He asked for space.”

“He likes you, and he asked for space?”

“I didn't tell you that—“

“It's obvious; keep up,” she says, rolling her eyes. “Anyways, so he asked for space?”

You nod blankly. “Uh huh.”

“Why?”

You rub your eyes in hopes that not looking at Shoko will make the embarrassment lessen. “I said some things in the heat of the moment, and... and yeah.”

It doesn’t.

She’s strangely unfazed; in fact, if anything, she’s partially annoyed. “Ok, and you’re just going to listen to him?”

“What else am I supposed to do, Shoko?” you ask incredulously, glaring at her with your hands back at your sides.

“Fight for him? He likes you back, and if you said something in the heat of the moment, odds are that him asking for space was also just in the heat of the moment.”

“You weren't there, Shoko. You didn't see how he was looking at me—at how he said it.”

“Y/N,” she says disappointedly, eyes shut and pinching her nose bridge. “He's literally been so upset at you ignoring him these past few days; do you really think he meant it when he asked for space? Even more space?”

You blink at her, your mind gone blank.

“Look, maybe he did, yeah? But maybe he didn't, and you won't know unless you go fight for him.”

“I don't know Shoko,” you mumble skeptically.

She rolls her eyes as she rebuts, "At the very least, you can apologize for what you said.”

“I already did.”

“Again, this time now that your head is… somewhat clearer... Are you really just gonna let him get away like this?”

“…no,” you answer weakly, which isn’t good enough for you or Shoko, who’s looking at you with her arms crossed and an eyebrow raised. “No,” you say again, this time with true conviction behind your words—word. “I don't want to let him get away like this. I don't want it to end like this.”

She gestures toward the door with a small, proud smile on her face. “Then go.”

You look back at the door before looking back at her and nodding. “Thank you, Shoko.”

“Uh huh,” she says, starting to walk back toward her bed, “and when you come back, you better not make another puddle.”

“No promises.”

☆☆☆☆

In an attempt to save whatever dignity you have left, you decide not to run down the halls like a shitty rom-com cliché; instead, you speed walk. Which, in hindsight, is probably even more embarrassing than just full-sending it by running, but you digress. You barely get halfway down the hall when you see Suguru. Both of you make eye contact at the same time, yet neither of you stop making your way toward each other, but you both slow down, carefully walking toward each other like two predators about to attack.

“You're leaving puddles in the hall,” you say quietly now that the two of you have come to a halt right in front of each other.

Suguru nods and looks you up and down. “So are you.”

You both stand there for a moment, just staring at each other, neither of you saying anything. Allowing your presence to speak for itself, but it's awkward—too awkward—and it feels like your knees are gonna give out on you if you stare at him any longer in silence.

“What are you doing here?”

“I came for you." He shakes his head, ignoring his own answer, like his very words aren't the most important thing to you right now. He came for you. “What are you doing here? I thought you would’ve been in your dorm by now.“

“I was—“ your voice grows quiet, “But I was coming for you too.”

“I’m sorry.”

“No, you don’t have anything to apologize for, Suguru. I shouldn’t have said what I said; that was selfish of me. I’m sorry.”

“I don’t want space,” he blurts out, hardly acknowledging your apology, which he didn't need in the first place. What he needs is you, and it will always be you.

“You don’t?”

“God no,” he says vehemently. “Space is the last thing I want. I don’t want space from you. I feel like there’s something missing when I’m away from you. How could I ever want space, Y/N?” His voice cracks a little at the end, and it has your heart racing. “I was just mad, and I shouldn’t have said that.”

You have all of these feelings inside you, and you’ve cried enough today to last the rest of your life, so instead you find yourself laughing, and Suguru looks slightly mortified.

“Why are you laughing?”

You laugh some more before trying to catch your breath, and you take a step forward closer toward him as you speak through deep breaths, “I’m just so fucking relieved. I-fuck-I love you, Suguru.”

Suguru closes the space between you two, pulling you into his embrace, and you tuck your face into his shoulder, his cold, damp clothes doing wonders to soothe your now-burning cheeks.

“I love you too, Y/N.”

“I think we look stupid standing here soaking wet and hugging...”

“Wanna make ourselves look even stupider by standing here soaking wet and kissing?”

You pull away ever so slightly just to look at him, and he’s staring at you with a smirk, and the longer he waits, the more furious the blush on his cheeks gets, and you can't help but stall your answer even more just for that reason.

“…matter of fact, yes, I do.”

Suguru grins widely but wastes no time connecting your lips together. The kiss is better than you could have ever imagined; it's gentle yet passionate all at once, and it's sloppy because neither of you can fully stop smiling long enough to keep the kisses consistent. And It's everything. He's everything, and you're mad that it even took you this long to realize that in the first place, but at least you don't have to worry about that anymore. Now you just have to worry about the fact that you two will probably end up getting sick from your wet clothes, but that's a problem for after you two stop kissing—if you two ever stop kissing.

©TODAYISAWTHEWHXLEWXRLD

[cloudsmateria]

college roommate - leon kennedy x reader

nerdy!reader x leon kennedy

synopsis: you and leon have just started university, finding yourself in the same university visit, he comes and visits your dorm as he's been struggling in his classes. you kick it off, and you invite each other into your different, interesting lives.

words: like 4500

disclaimer: this isn't proof-read and i actually do need to proofread it and i will when i finish it, this also isn't finished. so if u don't wanna read it now and wanna come back to it when it's pristine and complete be my guest, the edit of this will be very edited like literally whole chunks of texts will be different, i just wanted to post something

content warning: kissing, bit of angst, slight smut/almost smut, sexual themes

A loud knock rings through your door, if it had come even a second later you wouldn’t have heard it at all as you were on a one-way path to passing out on top of your notes. 

“Come in.” You mumble, picking your head up off of the desk and watching as a dirt-blonde hunk of a boy you don’t recognise comes through. Maybe it’s one of the frat boys trying to get to know all the girls in his dorm house. 

“Hey. Can I ask a favour?”

“Who are you?”

"I'm Leon, I saw you in my engineering lecture the other day and you looked like you understood what was going on. Then I found out you were in my university building. So here, I am. Help. Please. I’m going to fail and we’re only 3 weeks in." His desperation makes you laugh, something you were shocked you could do in this dazed state after a mind-boggling 8 hours of completing work.

"Oh Leon, I'd love to but I think if I even think about that engineering class for another second right now I might actually drop down and die."

"It can wait, you busy right now? Other than you know, spilling drool all over your papers?”

“Yeah, I was just about to go spill some on my pillow too, I'm exhausted." You say, not entirely joking, and begin to gather your things.

“I get it.”

“We have another engineering lecture tomorrow anyway so you can just catch me then."

"You sure, though? I mean I'm already here." He shrugs and picks up a book from her bookshelf. "How do you read any of these? There are no pictures." You laugh again. 

"You're asking me how I read physics books when you take engineering… Are you sure you picked the right course? You know, you can read it if you want, and would probably benefit from it. If you can even read."

"No thanks, I'll just get you to teach it to me tomrrow. I’ll see you in a bit, Einstein.” 

"You should watch what you call me if you want me to tutor you, that’s usually not free."

"Oh, but the thing is I don't think you're actually going to make me pay for anything. You're too nice for that."

"That's a very bold statement to make to a stranger."

"You'll come round eventually."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever."

"Can I just ask you another question? I'm not going to stop annoying you until you answer it the way I want you to."

"Go on." You sigh.

"Have you eaten today? Cause I haven't and I'm hungry."

"Leon-"

"Please."

"Okay, okay, God, you're persistent. Gonna give me a headache." You groan and sit up.

"It’s worth it, you'll need me to keep you sane later in the year."

"Oh really? You think we’re gonna stay friends that long?"

"I know you've got your nerdy brain, but I've been told I have a great personality." You can't tell if he's implying something with that disgustingly stupid joke or if he really is just an idiot. To be fair, he's funny and managed to pull you out your the room you had been hibernating in for the past few days to get ahead of work. You suppose there are worse people you could be forced to talk to.

"Whatever. Just get out of here." You push him towards the door.

"You're not going to eat with me?" You roll your eyes and lock the door, getting dressed into something that wasn't your pyjamas.

…

Now here you were, eating outside with this boy from your lectures when you had just wanted to be at home sleeping. Although it was nicer than you thought it would be, he had insisted on buying you an energy drink to keep your eyes open as you were eating in some random burger shop.

"How come you're struggling?" 

"Been going to too many parties, I've got different priorities."

"..."

"What?" He says defensively.

"Don't make me slap you. You can't be stupid because you got into this university, you're wasting your potential."

"I am not!"

"You're struggling! We're only 3 weeks in! I mean, come on, Leon."

"I don't understand what your problem is, maybe you need to live a little."

"That is rich coming from you. You're going to peak in college and fuck up the rest of your life if you ruin your chance now. And I live fine right now, I go out often enough and put the rest of my time toward my course, like a responsible human being."

"So you're boring?"

"So you're an idiot and can't plan for the future?"

"No, I'm not." He smirks. "And also, I never said I couldn't plan for the future, just that it isn't the only thing I want to focus on."

"Okay, fine, that's it. This is your problem, I'm not tutoring you."

"Got under your skin?" He smiles.

"I'm serious. You're smart if you got into this school, but you're wasting your talent partying and sleeping around."

“You’ve only known me for 20 minutes and you’ve managed to start an argument.”

“I just don’t want to waste my time. If you want me to help with assignments you need to make an effort, and if you want to be my friend, you’re also going to need to make an effort because I’m not going to care about someone who can’t even care about themselves.”

"I care about myself. Why else would I come to you for help on this?"

"Because you can't do it yourself and your friends are too stupid to ask them for help."

"No... Well... Okay fine, yeah that sounds pretty accurate. But in all honesty, I do care about my grade, that's why I'm coming to you. Now you know my intentions, I beg talk about something else, this entire conversation is reminding me of my mom."

"Like what?"

"Like, there's a party next Saturday, and I think you should come with me. You’re pretty entertaining."

"Oh, Leon. You're so clueless, it's pitiful."

"You have to go to the party, it will be fun."

"I have been to parties, I've gone to 2 since the start of the semester. But we have assignments to work on this week."

"One more little party isn't going to kill you. It'll be good, and then we can do the work."

"That's a very backward mindset." 

"You'll thank me, trust me."

"You say the reason you’re struggling is because you’re going to many parties, and immediately proceed to invite me to a party." You shake your head and laugh. “You are something else.”

“So are you coming?”

“I’ll think about it.”

… 

You and Leon had been going to the lectures together ever since, having lunch at points when he wasn’t hoarded by his friends and even managing a few study sessions into his schedule. You came 5 minutes early for the engineering lecture the next day. Flipping through the textbook notes to top up on your pre-reading beforehand, you had right at the back as Leon begged you to over text the previous night to sit there rather than the front so he’d feel comfortable sitting next to you. It doesn't take long for people to start filtering in, and eventually, that blonde-headed boy pops up next to you, leaning his head on your shoulder immediately. 

"Didn't get enough sleep last night." He mutters.

"Up studying?"

"You know me so well." 

“I'm not even going to ask what you were doing." You sigh, fully believing he had either gone clubbing or to another party last night.

"I promise you, I was studying. And you can ask me all the questions you want, I'll try my best to answer. I did go a little off track and I'm not doing well at it but your inspirational speech convinced me to try a bit."

"Really?" You ask excitedly, looking down at him. "Leon, that's great!" You feel his cheeks crease into a smile against your shoulder at your enthusiasm.

"You're more excited about it than I am, that's cute." He chuckles. "Keep talking, my head hurts, your voice helps."

"The lecture starts soon."

"Don't care." 

"I’m not going to talk over the lecturer." You say, flicking his forehead.

"It's just a lot, okay? I'm trying my best, but I might have reached my full capacity last night." He sits up and sighs, rubbing his temples.

“Welcome to university."

"Yeah, whatever. Can we go back to your room after?"

"Sure."

"Thank you."

"Of course." 

The professor finally steps into the lecture hall, and everyone quiets down, preparing for the lesson.

Halfway through, Leon couldn't help but pass out on you again. Your body went rigid, trying to make sure his head wouldn't fall off your shoulder. You pick the paper off of his desk, dragging it toward you as you start to write notes on your own and his paper so he won't miss out on anything.

He's surprisingly cute when he's not cracking annoying jokes and snapping back with snarky remarks. He was even making you lose track of the lecture a bit.

After class, you wake him up and walk him back to your dorm with him, chatting and catching him up on what he missed briefly. When you think about it, you're surprised you only met him yesterday. He feels like someone you've known since secondary school, or maybe he just treats everyone this way. Either way, you wouldn't complain about spending time with him.

"So, we're alone. What do we do?"

"Study?" You say, throwing him a pencil and paper. "Don't ask me stupid questions like that again."

"Come on, we just got out of an hour lecture, we basically already studied."

"A lecture that you slept for half of-"

"And that you caught me up on after."

"We need to make up the time. Now come on, let's work."

"But-"

"Now, Leon."

"Ugh."

…

The next hour wasn't as bad as you had expected it to be, you could still get your work done while simultaneously teaching Leon that content he missed out on. His demeanour quickly became enthusiastic when he saw how proud you were when you understood a concept, and you were genuinely impressed, he caught onto things quickly. After an hour, you both took a break sitting on your bed, him replying to some messages on his phone.

"Hey." You say, poking his arm to draw his attention.

"What?"

"Thank you."

"For what?"

"Making the effort to try, even if it is just a little bit."

"You're definitely making more effort than me." He smiles, leaning his head on your shoulder again.

"If you want to sleep you should just go home, you must be exhausted."

"I'm not leaving you in this depressing room, I'm keeping you company."

"I’m not keeping you from anything? Your phone was blowing up a second ago I assume you have somewhere to be."

"They can wait, I want to stay around for a bit longer. I like the change for once."

"Change?"

"It's quiet, I can think for once. You’re different from the people I’m around smart and stubborn,”

“So you’re aware of the poor choice of people you hang around, you had me fooled for a while.”

“Wait I’m not done, and even after all of that, I can tell that you're a little shy which is adorable. Oh, and my favourite part is how easy you are to annoy."

"I am not."

"You're blushing right now, I can feel your cheek getting hot. Adorable."

"Don’t you even close your mouth?"

"You know I can't, come on, it's not like you mind."

"Oh my god."

"Admit it, I'm fun to be around."

"Yeah, yeah."

"Tell me what you think of me."

"What?"

"Tell me, come on. Please, I'm dying for validation."

"Well. You're nice, and I've never seen you without a smile on your face, it's refreshing.”

“A little more… I know you got it in you.”

“You're not as stupid as you make yourself out to be,. And I honestly can't tell if I'm special or if you treat everyone else this way because you make me feel way more important than I really would be for someone like you."

"You're special, trust me. And that's a stupid question to ask. Do you want a list of the people I've met? The people I’ve made friends with?"

"What?"

"I can count on one hand the real people I've managed to keep around and one of those is my dog. Don't worry about that, because I know you’re gonna be on that list too. I know you think that I have so many friends and I'm surrounded by people all the time, but they're all fake. They're just fun for parties and clubbing when you have nothing else to do."

"But-"

"It's true." He looks at you, his expression becoming serious for the first time since you've met him. "And I've got to tell you, you're different."

"Different?"

"Yeah, you're interesting. You're not fake, and you're actually doing something with your life."

"I wouldn't be too sure about that, I think you’ve just surrounded yourself with one particular type of person, and now you’re shocked when you meet someone who’s not an idiot."

"Come on, I've seen the work you've done in these past 24 hours. You were working for at least 25 of them.” 

"You know how to flatter me."

"That's another reason why you should hang out with me more."

"Oh, and why's that?"

"I'm not afraid to admit how much I like you, Einstein. Makes you feel good, doesn’t it?"

"I can't even think about what I should say to that." You say, laughing and burying your head in your hands. "God, you're a mess."

“I suppose, yeah. You’re changing that though.” He lifts your chin up to face him, smiling at your red cheeks. “See? So cute.”

"Why do you have to keep saying things like that?"

"Because you react this way." He grins.

"I hate you."

"Let me ask you something again. Are you going to go to the party on Saturday?"

"I don’t think so."

“Since I’ve got the chance, I think I can change your mind.�� He smiles and pulls your face a little closer, close enough for him to feel your shallow breaths against his lips.

"I-" You can't find any words, you're stunned. He's gorgeous, and you can't deny that, but the idea of kissing him feels wrong, you can't do it. Not right now. The thought of getting with someone you're starting to have feelings for is setting off alarm bells, the alarm bells imprinted by your bad experiences from secondary school of guys playing with your emotions. No matter how much your heart is screaming you want to, your mind is screaming no. 

"You're gonna go with me right?" He whispers.

"Okay." You say hoarsely, your legs desperately pressed together.

"Good girl." He smiles, getting up and putting his shoes on. "I'll see you on Saturday." He says, before leaving.

"I'm screwed." You mutter.

… 

Saturday finally rolled around. You weren't even sure how much time you spent with Leon the day before, but you knew you wanted more.  This was starting to become a concern for you. You remember last year, when you were hurt so bad you pledged to never fall for someone again. You can't do this, not with him. You know Leon is exactly that kind of guy, he’s charming, an athlete, with too many friends for his own good, someone who has no reason to be associated with you unless he wanted something, and was patient when it came to getting it. 

And yet, here you were, wearing a simple little black dress and the heels Leon said would match. You pray that the feelings are cut off here, hopefully he sees you as just a friend and just likes to tease. But a little part of you has a sliver of hope that maybe this is real.

Leon came to pick you up from your room, as he was only a floor away. When you opened the door you were met with Leon dressed in a black bottom down with the top two buttons undone and the sleeves rolled up which definitely made you feel some kind of way.

"Leon, hi." You say, overly aware of the fabric hugging your skin, you rarely wore tight clothes. 

"Wow." His eyes were stuck to everything that wasn't your face.

"Hey! My eyes are on my face, not my chest."

"I know."

"Leon!"

"Just admiring the view." You ended up crossing your arms to try and hide a bit of your figure.

"Can you stop looking?"

"You look great, don't worry." He says.

"Whatever."

"No, I'm serious. I mean it, you look amazing. Just relax and have fun, okay?"  He puts his arm around your waist, pulling you close. "You look hot. And it's only going to get better. Just try to have a good time, I'll be by your side the whole time.”

"I've been to a party before, you don't need to baby me."

"I know it’s just this one is a big one. They always end in a mess. I've had a couple of close calls with the police."

"That's not what I'm worried about." I'm worried about what I might end up doing with you, she thinks.

"Just tell me if anything makes you uncomfortable and we can go." He smiles and leads you out of the dorm building and into the street.

"How far is it?"

"Only a few minutes away." He says, leading you along the sidewalk.

The walk wasn't too far, it was about 20 minutes of you both drinking from a wine bottle for some pre-game. Time seemed to fly by as you came to the house. Whoever was hosting this party, probably one of Leon's friends no doubt, was rich. The house was huge and the whole thing was vibrating with the music that blasted through it.

"We're here."

"I think it’s going to collapse.."

"Wait until you see inside." He grabs your hand and drags you in, the house packed. You didn't recognise anyone and felt a little intimidated as Leon led you through the crowd of people, pushing them aside. You couldn't believe there were this many students in the town.

He stops at the kitchen, handing you a drink. You hadn't gone to a party this big before, and that was voluntary, this was just too much. You drink it in one to hopefully get you drunk enough to gain a bit of confidence and hand it back to Leon for it to get refilled.

"I didn't know there were this many people here."

"There's usually a lot." He smiles, handing her another drink. "Don't worry, I'll be with you the whole night. You take a shot before starting to sip on the more tame drink Leon had gotten. 

"What do you want to do first?"

"Let’s go find some of my friends.He says, taking your hand and dragging you through the sea of people, most likely dancing, grinding, or drinking.

He pulls you into the living room, finding his friends from one of the lectures and joining in on their conversation. You're introduced and you talk with them, they're all quite funny and sweet. You were happy to have found a fun little group.

The rest of the night is spent with them, the five of you getting progressively drunker and drunker and talking about more and more stupid shit before someone suggests the group should go and dance, you immediately go and hide behind Leon. 

"Dancing is definitely not my thing." You whisper.

"You have to come."

"No way."

"Please." He says, looking into your eyes.

"Why?"

"I want you to."

"Leon."

"If you hate it, I'll make it up to you. Please." He whispers, and you sigh, giving in. "I know you'll enjoy it." He smiles and leads her by the hand into the living room where everyone is.

"Everyone's too drunk to be paying any attention anyway." He says, and the group joins in on the dance. 

After a few more drinks the alcohol started to hit.

"Isn't so bad, is it?" He says after the first few minutes, watching you find your rhythm.

"No, it's fun."

"See, told you."

"Don't let it go to your head, I'm just drunk."

He smiles, spinning you so your back is pressed against his, the two of you continue to dance. He leans down and kisses your shoulder, wrapping his arms around your waist and grinding into you.

"Leon-"

"It's hard to control myself with you, almost kissed you that time I convinced you to come to this party, could tell you weren’t sure though."

"Because I thought we were just friends."

"That never lasts long, does it? Did you really think it was going to stay that way forever?" He says, running his hand down your thigh.

"We're drunk." You mumble, leaning your head back onto his shoulder. God, you wanted it. You were trying with everything you had to rationalise with yourself. He knew what he was doing.

"That doesn't change the fact that you're irresistible. And that's not the alcohol talking. I've been wanting to do this for a while."

 He smirks, spinning her back around to face him and lifting you up, your legs wrapping around his waist.

"Let's go upstairs,"

"Leon-"

"Shh." He puts a finger over her lips and leads her away, finding the stairs and walking up. “Stop doubting yourself. One thing about you is that you always say no, or doubt yourself, let’s change that for once.”

He takes you to the first room he finds, happening to be a bathroom, opening the door and stepping in, kicking it closed and locking it. He sets you down and starts to kiss you, the alcohol making it a lot more forceful than usual. You kiss back, letting him guide you and set the pace, his hands sliding over her body. 

"You're so fucking beautiful." He mutters, his lips trailing down to your neck. You feel the pressure of his hands pushing you backwards. Your back hits the counter, he lifts you up and settles himself between your thighs.

"Leon-"

"Yeah?"

"Are you sure? About me?"

"Yes." He smiles, lifting his head. "Now stop doubting yourself, will you? You're too perfect for that." If you were sober, your mind would've had red lights blaring, trying to protect you, but the alcohol flattened out all thoughts. A hint of doubt crossed your mind instinctually. But his touch is so good, and he's making you feel things that you haven't in a long time.

"I-"

"Come on, tell me how much you want me."

"I really like you, Leon. It's just...I have this feeling that I'll get hurt."

"What are you so afraid of? What can I do to change your mind?" He whispers. "I'll do anything for you." He says, pulling your head down to kiss him. The sweet nothings bring back some bad memories, it's starting to feel a bit like deja vu.

"I've been hurt before, Leon."

"What's his name? I'll kick his ass."

"It was in high school, but it happened too many times."

"You have to stop thinking, just focus on me, okay?"

"Leon."

"Come on." He sighs, pressing a finger to your lips. "I won't let anything bad happen to you. I don't want to lose something because someone in your past ruined everything for you, okay?"

"I don't know."

He sighs. "Do you wanna head home ?"

"I'm sorry."

"I'm not upset. Come on, I'll take you back."

"I didn't mean to ruin the night."

"No, I'm not letting you leave thinking you ruined it. I'm sure a million more parties are happening this week if you feel so bad."

"I'm a mess, Leon. Why do you even like me? I'm not worth it."

"Of course you are." He says, cupping your cheek."You're the only person I can stand to be around for hours while sober. And you can't argue with that."

"Okay."

"I'll get us out of here and you can crash in my room."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. Now come on, we're leaving." 

...

The taxi ride home was short and sweet,  but still awkward. You were scared he'd be mad at you for ending the night so abruptly, but when you got into the room he made sure to put his arm around you, whispering reassurement into your ear, stroking your hair.

"You don't have to worry. I'm not angry."

"Really?"

"I don't blame you for wanting to wait."

"It's just, the last time-"

"I'm not him, you can trust me. I've been trying to prove that to you."

"I think... Maybe I can learn to trust you."

"You will, eventually." He says, holding his arms open, gesturing for her to cuddle with him.

"Thank you."

"Anytime."

You cuddle him for a bit, the silence being cut by the sound of the two of you breathing. Leon leans down to kiss capture your lips softly, it feels a lot easier to kiss him back, pressing your body against him.

"I don't know why anyone would ever hurt you." He whispers between kisses. "You're perfect." He runs his fingers through your hair.

"I don't know about that."

"I don't know why you doubt yourself either. Go to sleep, you'll feel better in the morning."

[johnslittlespoon]

sorry i dont know how to be happy...and slight cw for implied sexual harassment feel free not to post this <3

but. bucky having a close call incident with one of the guards in the camp- the first person he runs into after *isn't* gale but the get the vibes of what happened and know they need to get *him* to gale asap. and gale is so angry and hurt but tries so hard to push it down to comfort him </3 his poor sweet boy has been strugglig enough and really didn't need one more thing. sobbing in gale's big arms telling him he's sorry, gale rocking him shushing him telling him he has not one thing to be sorry for he didn't do anything wrong.

giving me angst asks is so dangerous rn while i'm still in post–finale grief lmfaoooo count your days (buckle in, i think this is gonna get lengthy and i should probably just write a oneshot bc i have many thoughts but we'll see) (and yeah, cw for assault)

vv

i haven't seen anyone talk about this happening to john (might've just missed it tbf) and in a way i get it, because y'know gale is 'visually' more likely to be a target of things like that and we don't see what he goes through at the camp before john gets there, but i'm also surprised that i haven't seen more posts talking about it the other way around because i mean john literally comes into camp with a reputation, we see it right off the bat when the interrogator basically calls him on being a man whore lol.

i can see guards (hypocritically, bc they'll turn around and hurl slurs in the next breath) making offhand comments and passes at him, "nothing that i can't handle" when one of the others catches it happening one day, and the way john is so nonchalant about it makes them wonder how often it happens.

but one day a guard doesn't like the way he mouths off at them when they say something gross to john, and it results in john being shoved to the ground with the guard atop his back in a quiet corner of the camp, and he doesn't even hear half of what's being said because his ears start ringing and all he can remember is the feeling of the cold cobble street beneath his face and the shouts of the riot around him.

vaguely registers the guard moving to feel him up, his skin crawling, bile rising in his throat, but it only takes a few seconds before someone else is approaching and the guard jumps up so as to not cause suspicion. john drags himself back to his feet in a daze, stumbling away in the general direction of his block with his head buzzing, flinches hard when he feels a hand on his arm but realizes it's just brady looking at him with concern, brady who'd caught the guard on top of him.

gale looks up from his bunk when the door opens and he sees brady ushering john in, watches brady sag with relief when he sees gale's there, and gale only has to glance at john to know something's happened, rolls out of his bunk immediately and looks at brady in alarm. he sees red when brady tells him how he'd found john, but john is staring into a corner of the room and he knows anger isn't what he needs right now, so he swallows it down, moves to stand in front of john instead as brady leaves the room, reaching up to cup his face in his hands.

john's eyes move to look at him, but he's not really looking at him, until gale murmurs a "hey, you're okay", brushing his thumbs over john's cheekbones, and then he watches john crumble and his heart sinks. and maybe any other day, john wouldn't break like that, but gale knows he's already had a hell of a week and whatever went down must have been the final nail in the coffin because as soon as he's led john to the closest bunk, john's collapsing into his arms and he can feel hot tears against his neck and gale feels sick and has to keep swallowing to fight his own tears back.

he can feel how tense john is in his arms, like he's still trying to hold back from really showing his emotions even now, and gale pets his hair, assures him it's okay, "you don't have to hide from me, bucky." and his heart shatters when he starts getting whispered apologies through hiccuped sobs where john's face rests on his chest, gale shaking his head immediately, promising him that he has nothing to be sorry for, squeezing him tighter as he rocks him gently.

gale thinks about all the different ways he'd like to go out and murder that guard, almost scaring himself with the aggression he feels, but he shoves it down so john doesn't pick up on the red–hot anger, focussing that energy on holding john tight and whispering words of comfort until the sobs become quiet shudders, feeling him finally, slowly start to relax in his arms.

(gale probably hears john huff out a shaky little laugh when he tells him "that guard better sleep with one eye open until we get out of here" because the thought of gale actually being violent is laughable to him; he doesn't realize how much gale would really do for him, how much it hurt gale to see him stumble into the room like that.)

i definitely want to properly tackle this concept in a oneshot someday so forgive me for being vague in some areas, i don't wanna fully brainrot it out and then not feel the need to write something longer about it, you feel? <3 but hopefully this is sorta what you were envisioning. they both deserved better :(

[cherriesfromeden]

bruce yamada with a reader who fights a lot

...

[style : headcanons]

[requested : yes]

[pairing : bruce yamada x fem!reader]

...

yay best friend!robin is a concept i love <3

you and robin have been friends since the beginning of middle school

he was about to get into a fight and you stepped in to defend him since you had overheard the fight

he was definitely your wingman with bruce since he knew you liked him

and then you and bruce got together and robin's happy for you two cause it's the cutest couple

bruce is constantly running after you to make sure you don't get in any fights

you still do

he leaves for two seconds to get you a soda and comes back to the hunger games

'okay so they didn't have your favorite but i got- WHAT THE-'

he pulls you away from people when he can sense that you're about to throw hands

bruce does this thing where he puts an arm around your shoulder and turns you away from whoever is pissing you off

he's so calming that is always works

and when you do get into fights he just sighs and starts grabbing the medical supplies he started carrying for you

get ready for a lecture while he's patching you up

'see? this is why you should wait for me after practice, you always get into fights with those guys- why are you looking at me like that'

'it's just a scratch'

bro turns into a certified doctor in three seconds

'it's just a scratch????'

then proceeds to put you in a full body cast-

also other people are very confused on how you two ended up together cause yk he's such a sunshine

and you're...

you're very aggressive interesting

so he can be talking w someone else and he's like 'oh you haven't met my gf!! i think she's somewhere around here'

'idk but there's some girl in a fight over there what a strange-'

'that's her'

'oh'

cue bruce cupping his hands around his mouth and shouting about how the game's gonna start soon

literal definition of standing over on the side screaming

'KICK HIS ASS BABE'

but he only does that when he knows they deserve it

any other time he'll be running to stop you

and he kisses your bruises i don't make the rules

he's so lovey dovey w you and it's so cuteee

so this was rlly late so i'm giving you some bonus content of headcanons for best friend!robin and what he does when you get with bruce:

AGH WHERE DO I EVEN BEGIN

he's such a tease

esp in front of bruce

and besides finney you're his other tutor

having classes with him is so inconvenient but it's funny shit so it's worth it idk

'y/n do you have a pencil?'

'no, go away'

'i literally see one on your desk right now you liar'

'that's mine dumbass'

'was yours'

and robin always steals your pencils in class and since you two sit at the back the teacher can't see the fucking war going on over a pencil

getting detention together

omg those poor teachers-

cause if you guys have detention together it's a mess and you don't do the thing you're supposed to

but if you're separate then you both get rlly sad (neither of you would admit it) and don't do anything either

so most teachers just severely yell at you instead of giving you detention cause it's such a pain in the ass with you two'

lmk if you want more thoughts abt this <3

[d0enti]

Imagine Akito with a reader he hated at first (and he wouldn’t hide it) but now would do absolutely everything for them

Like before:

Akito:get away from me!

After:

akito:Do you need something?oh that new phone that requires me to sell Ena because I’m too poor? Of course I’ll get it for you!

PJSEKAI—“Happiness is a warm puppy.”

➵Summary:Akito with reader he hated at first

➵Warning:none

➵A/N:I feel like I know who you are anon, but I won't say anything, anyway that was an amazing request I loved writing it

Oh how he hated you, how come you everywhere where he is?! He could be walking in the park and then he sees you, even when having practice he will see you, was he cursed or something he didn't do anything wrong for it to be that case, unless we count the fact that he told Ena her hair looks crispy, but that doesn't matter what matters is how come you everywhere, it's getting annoying seeing you literally every time, why does he have a see your cute ugly face?!

Akito was thinking about all that while walking in the park, but suddenly a dog appeared and Akito just stood there, hoping the dog won't go towards him and he was incorrect, the dog indeed ran towards him and they were running around till suddenly the dog was stopped, Akito looked who it was and saw you, standing on the dog leash while it's owner thanks you for catching the dog and walks away, and for a moment Akito blushed a little before becoming just as angry as anger from inside out

"couldn't you catch that damn dog earlier?!"

"I was waiting until it got tried"

"by sacrificing me?!"

"yeah, you are quite fast so a perfect sacrifice in my opinion"

"I fucking hate you, can't you just leave me alone"

"I know you hate me, you said it 30 times this month, and we didn't even pass the 20th day of it, plus I'm not following you! It's not my fault we see each other often"

"then how the hell do I see you everyday?!"

"maybe because I live in the area?"

"..."

"...You didn't think about that did you?"

"shush"

Well Akito indeed didn't think about that, damn he feels stupid, so he was hating you for no reason, I mean yeah seeing you everyday, but you lived in the area that's why he was seeing you everyday

"anyway I should get going, bye"

"bye..."

Shit why is he blushing, don't tell me he fell for you, just randomly?! No there's just no way that happened

୨⎯ "Time skip" ⎯୧

Akito from 3 weeks ago would be pissed now probably, Akito was walking around with you after the incident with the dog, you became good friends or more of, he became crazy in love buying anything you ask for, causing Ena to worry about Akito bank account, does he have anything left?! Well it's healthy to assume no because yesterday Akito literally asked her for 50 dollars

"why do you need it"

"[Y/N] phone broke and they need a new one, so I need 50 dollars to buy it"

"can't you use your money?"

"I am, I just need 50 dollars to buy it counting mine too"

"Jesus Akito you became a simp, but fine, just give me a minute"

And that kept going, eventually Akito got a part time job to buy you stuff, and even there was a point when he thought, selling Ena might help, I mean she's pretty so, but then again that's his sister, yeah that's out of the book, Ena would probably kill him

In less than a week from Akito taking Ena money, again she cussed him out saying he needs to stop bitching around and confess, but he won't do it willingly, so Ena hid all his money and forced him to confess!

And while you were walking back home, Akito asked you out, surprised you agreed, and Ena was surprised too. But hey it was fun watching her brother be a boy failure

[gyll-yee-haw]

ok but imagine jake has been away filming for so long and one time when you talk through the phone late at night you tell him you miss him sm and along the lines you say sth like „i can’t even come without you anymore” and he goes insane on dirty talk just to be at your doorstep the next day i-

PLEASE, I FOUND THIS ON MY DRAFTS FROM LITERALLY YEARS AGO 😭

I edited a bit and decided to give y'all an early Christmas presents, love you <3

Warnings: masturbation, phone sex, mentions of a reader who struggles to cum, very desperate reader, tiny mentions of being tied up and a lil dom!Jake.

You and Jake had been together long enough for you to get used to all his travels and how busy he got at work. But you still didn't.

He was now away for almost three months. You were losing your mind.

It was another one of those nights when you walked into your bedroom and sighed sadly before going to bed. Jake wasn't there to hold you. To talk to you with his sweet and relaxing voice while you rested your head on his chest and fell asleep.

That must be why sleeping was so hard. Why you kept tossing and turning and sighing frustratedly. You were angry. Sad. Exhausted. You gave up and decided to call him. You hated to bother him and you didn't want him to feel guilty for working so hard. But taking to him was usually the only thing that made you feel better on nights like that.

"Hi, love." He greeted you happily.

"Hey… oh god, it's so good to hear your voice." You told him, feeling a little better already.

"It's great to hear yours too." He chuckled. "So, how was your day?"

The two of you spent a few minutes telling each other stories that happened since the last time you talked. It was amazing, he warmed your heart and made you laugh a lot.

But at some point, the atmosphere got a little sad again.

"I just wish you were here with me." He told you. "Everytime I go out I see something and think 'I bet y/n would love this'… would be a lot more fun if you were here."

"Yeah, I think about you all day too." You said. "And then I curse you for being so fucking hot."

"What do you mean, honey?" He laughed.

"I'm desperate." You admited. "I'm so used to you fucking me so good. And now I can't even cum without you anymore."

There was a little moment of silence on the phone.

"Wait…" He finally said. "Are you telling me you didn't cum at all these last months?"

When Jake traveled for only a few days, you always made a deal to not masturbate, cause when you saw each other again, it would be awesome. But since he would be away for months, you agreed it would be okay, in case you needed to.

"No, all I do is disappoint myself." You shrugged.

"We need to fix that, baby…" He suggested. "Come on, do you want my help? I'm here now... listen to my voice and do what I say, okay, princess?"

Something about that drastic change on the tone of the conversation gave your stomach butterflies.

"Okay... what... what should I do?" You asked.

"Okay, listen to me." He instructed you. "You're gonna lay on your back. Take your panties off. Flex your knees like I was on top of you and you were wrapping them around my waist... like you could feel me deep inside you, remember that feeling?"

Your heart was racing. You really hoped that would work, cause he was getting you worked up now.

You followed every step of his plan, and told him: "Done".

"Good girl. Now spit on your fingers and start touching your pussy until you're wet enough."

You brought your fingers to your mouth, then guided them to your folds, trying to recreate the path Jake's tongue usually follwed. But it still felt like you were touching any other part of your skin. It wasn't like that with Jake. Whenever he just LOOKED at your pussy he already had you bucking your hips.

"Baby?" He called after you were silent for too long.

"It's boring." You told him.

"Use your imagination, honey." He chuckled. "If I was there, what would you like me to do to you?"

"Anything you wanted. Absolutely anything at all."

"Oh yeah?" You could hear the smirk on his voice. "I think I would like to tie your hands above your head and rub the tip of my cock on your clit until you were crying. Then I would shove it inside you at once, and fuck you mercilessly, make you look like a dumb little slut, absolutely speechless, but so fucking beautiful with her eyes rolled back, screaming my name…"

"Fuck." Now you were wet. And even more desperate than before. There wasn't a single cell on your body that didn't crave his touch. "You're making it worse…"

"Oh my God, baby…" He ignored your negativity. "You can't imagine how fucking hard I am for you now."

"Let me see!!!" You begged. "Let's FaceTime instead."

"No, keep touching yourself." He said firmly.

"Please, I can't do it…" You insisted.

"I am helping you, angel. You have to learn how to take care of yourself when I'm not home." He explained.

"What about a video? Or just a photo?"

"Don't be a little brat just because I'm not there to slap you. I can simply turn my phone off and go to sleep, leave you on your own. Is that what you want?"

"No, sorry, sir…"

"Good. Now touch your clit, baby… just I do, you know how you like it."

You closed your eyes and tried to picture the things he said before. You lead two fingers to your clit and started rubbing it slowly. At first, it still felt like nothing. But when you hit just the right spot, your back arched and you moaned.

"Yes, good girl… feel good, huh?" He reacted to your moans.

"Yes, Jakey… fuck…"

You kept rubbing that very specific spot and moaning just to let Jake know you were feeling good. Still wasn't as good as it was when he did it with his big fingers, but at least you were feeling something.

"You sound so beautiful right now, angel. Wish I was there to taste you. That's why I don't wanna FaceTime you, honey. Do you think I'm not dying to see that pretty pussy? Of course I am, but it hurts that I can't put my mouth on it. Lick it real good until your legs are shaking around my head. I miss it so much, fuck…"

His words alone were driving you crazy, but it was the sound of him stroking his cock that made your pussy clench around nothing.

"Talk to me, pretty girl. I'm stroking my cock, thinking of you too." He asked sweetly.

"Fuck... need you… what if I can't do it?"

"You can do it, baby. Don't you feel good right now? Rub it harder, baby."

"Hhmm... I need to cum so bad…" You grew more desperate as time passed and you couldn't even imagine how terrible it would be to not be able to do it that night.

"You will, angel. Looks like I'm gonna have to give you a lesson about patience when I come back." He threatened you, and you would do anything to have those lessons now.

The waves kept coming and going. Just when you thought were going to cum, you got all excited but it went away. You were so fucking wet that your fingers slipped through your folds and you missed the spot several times, making you sigh frustratedly. Jake knew it usually didn't take you that long, and he was getting close himself, just picturing you laying there desperate, soaked, legs in the air, rubbing your pussy so hard while you thought about him.

"I can't do it, I can't." You cried out.

"Please, babygirl." He was the one begging now. "Please cum for me, be a good girl for me, I can't hold it much longer…"

You closed your eyes and imagined he was sitting right beside you, ready to shoot his load on your belly and your breasts. It was a pretty realistic fantasy, cause you could hear his moans through the phone, indicating he was really close.

That was it. Suddenly, another one of those waved came. This one was so strong, and just wasn't going away like the others did.

"OH FUCK!" You moaned loud and excitedly. "I'm coming right now, oh my God, right… now... fuuuuck…"

"Yes, babygirl, do it…" He said, feeling his own orgasm building. "Don't stop, oh fuck…"

Fucking finally. It had been so long. Your back arched and all your muscles flexed and you moaned during every second of it. When your body relaxed, you weren't capable of doing anything, not even thinking.

"Baby, talk to me, fuck." Jake called for the third time, but you didn't even hear the first ones.

"I did it." You told him, all smiley. "I'm in heaven, I swear. Fuck... I needed this, so bad..."

"Proud of you, babygirl." He chuckled. "But you should have told me this so much earlier."

"I definitely should." You agreed. "Do you think we can do this again someday?"

"Not a chance." He sighed frustratedly. "I swear I'm getting on the first plane tomorrow. My baby needs me and it breaks my heart to not be there for her..."

After all, you knew that both of you could touch yourselves all you wanted, even together like you just did, but nothing would compare to the real thing.

[shopwitchvamp]

Hello! You can ignore this if the subject is too personal, but I saw you mention that you got a hysterectomy. I've been wanting to get one for awhile for a variety of reasons (no desire to have children, wanting to permanently stop periods, ect) and I was wondering if there was anything I should know about it that isn't talked about a lot?

Yeah I had one at 25 after yearssss of medical horrors. It's a lot and probably a good deal of people don't wanna read my nightmares so-

I had absolutely life ruining periods from endometriosis/PCOS, and I also never wanted children, but couldn't stay on BC to control any of those things because I found out at 21 that it was making my cholesterol sky high. I then spent a few years being truly, literally insane because I was going off and on birth control of various types every few months to try to find anything that wouldn't give me high cholesterol. Drs were like oh maybe the patches will bypass whatever weird mechanism is making this happen, maybe nuvaring, maybe progesterone only, maybe the hormonal IUD, etc etc.

I'd rather not get into what exactly led to finally getting the hysterectomy (extremely traumatic..) but I don't mind talking about the hysterectomy itself.

All I really have to say is that I have ZERO regrets and that my life has improved DRAMATICALLY since getting the hysterectomy. I had a partial so I still have ovaries, which means still having issues from PCOS, still having a hormonal cycle, still dealing with PMDD at times, etc. But given all of the issues I'd had with hormonal BC I didn't want to have my ovaries removed and need to rely on taking hormones forever when they might have caused me more problems. This is an issue very very specific to me tho.

But yeah, before the hysterectomy I used to spend 7-10 days each month-ish incapacitated by nightmare periods, and then very often end up sick (like with a cold or sinus infection or strep throat) afterwards because my body was so weakened. The only thing that had helped before was being on the kind of BC pills you take for like 3 months straight with no breaks so that you skip periods. But once I found out about the cholesterol problem, well. They just cycled me on and off a bunch of different options while doing frequent blood tests, and then in the end were like "idk guess you just have to live with it forever." Until the obgyn I'd been seeing since I was 17, who had witnessed 8 years of my suffering and already done 2 surgeries on me, was finally willing to just do a hysterectomy back in 2016.

I hear that maybe it's a bit easier these days to find a doctor willing to perform a hysterectomy, but I can't say I know much about the process. If you're on the hunt I think maybe like the childfree subreddit has a list of doctors?

If you have any kind of more specific question I guess lemme know. I'm not sure what people do or don't talk about when it comes to this stuff, but I really don't have any negatives to report, which I mainly credit to not getting a total hysterectomy (so no early menopause issues, etc). (EDIT: just fyi anyone reading this, I've muted notifcations because while I don't mind talking about this it isn't exactly something I want popping up into my awareness every few minutes 😅 if you leave any comments or reblog tags it's totally fine, just know that I won't see them. thanks for understanding!)

[bobbydagen24]

tbh I think Peppy Dying in a Future film could be a good story Decision because of what it could lead to for the characters.

hear me out I swear this isn't just because I Dislike Peppy for all his lies 😂😂😂😂

like I feel his death would work really well as a consequence for Poppy's actions and a proper Arc for her to learn through as so far Despite Technically having character Arcs

poppy seems to mostly stay the same Due to everything still always working out her way in the end like in World Tour it was shown she had a problem listenening to other people

and acknowledging that all the Tribes Differences were a good thing and they couldn't just Hug it out and be friends in the end except that's literally what happened.

I'm not saying the Tribes should have gone to war or anything but the movie seemingly has Poppy learn she's wrong and then Validates her by having her get exactly what she originally wanted proving her right.

same thing happens in TBT she has a narrow view on family always being an automatic good thing Disregards Branch's feelings at the start in the name of unconditional forgiveness

only to seemingly learn later on that it isn't that simple and family can be broken and toxic only to then have the family come back together in the end for no other reasons other than family is always great and you should always forgive them no matter what.

once again a seemingly good arc somewhat ruined by Poppy's original feelings being proven Right in the end so in future what if we saw some similar behaviour from her

where maybe she just wants to Resolve things peacefully with a Dangerous Villain Group Despite other people warning her

which Results in them meeting with them only to fall into an ambush and very nearly die and Peppy ends up having to sacrifice himself to save Poppy and Viva.

and this has a few interesting points it can lead to imo

Poppy can feel guilt and blame herself for her dads death finally her actions had consequences she can't just wave away and this kinda perfectly leads to another moment of Branch picking her up after she's down and broken because he knows what its like to blame yourself for a parental figure's death even tho Poppy would point out he was just a kid and she was a leader who should have known better he still points out she was simply trying to do her best like she always does and what mainly matters now is how you let it change you since he let his Trauma change him for the worse to the point he made himself miserable and he doesn't want Poppy to go down the same Road of self Blaming and misery. 2. it gives an interesting bit of Tragedy to Viva given her and her Dad were separated for such a long time and only just got each other back so this would make for a sad bit of extra Viva angst. and maybe even causes a Brief Rift between her and Poppy due to her somewhat Blaming poppy's choices for Peppy's death. 3. I feel that either way Poppy chooses to Deal with the antagonist from this point on would be interesting and would make her overall character stronger imo as either she can accept that her original way of trying to resolve things peacefully isn't always a valid option and Decide that in this case the Villain does just need to be stopped with good old fashioned force. or she can stick to her morals even in the face of Great Tragedy and still in the end try to reach across the aisle to the Villain to Resolve things without anyone else needing to get hurt or killed. in which case a lot of people may not agree with her but it would be a strong character moment that shows a certain strength. as so far Poppy only seems to preach forgiveness and peace making tactics when it comes to people who haven't wronged her personally like letting Barb off the Hook and even befriending her at the end of World Tour despite her enslaving countless people or encouraging Branch to forgive his own family for abandoning him or giving a sympathetic shoulder to Crimp even tho she stood by and let Floyd be tortured because she didn't wanna lose her Job. Hell the only instance where you could say Poppy actually proves she stands by her none violent second chances morals is in the tv shows where she even gives second chances to people who wronged her personally like Creek. but in the cannon of the movies Poppy has never really had to do that so I feel it would be interesting to see in the main movies. that is assuming they take her Development in that Direction like I said they could go the other way and have her finally accept she's wrong about some of her view points either way I feel it would make for interesting Development for her that would work best if the personal element of losing her Dad was added to it. what do you think?

[purpleheartskies]

One thing that's always bothered me after s3 came out is the claim that Robby didn't have remorse after the school fight.

First off, it was very clear from Robby's demeanor in his scene with Daniel at the rehab center that Robby was very truly remorseful. Also, Robby clearly took accountability. He literally stated what he had done.

"But I caused all of this. I'm the one who kicked Miguel..."

It's also always important to call out that it had been an accident. Miguel had without a doubt pushed Robby to his limit. Robby reacted within seconds of Miguel letting go. It's ridiculous that some people say that Robby should have calmed down immediately after Miguel let go. Let's focus on this for a bit. According to some people, Robby isn't supposed to have very human emotions or have very human responses after having been in a fight like that after being attacked. Would those same people be able to calm down immediately? No. Plain and simple. Even Robby running away afterwards was very understandable because (1) "flight" response and (2) his parents are useless and had recently left him to starve for months and Daniel had just disowned him again. He knows he's alone. He ran out of fear, not malice. Robby had injured Miguel by accident, but he still had remorse for doing so. Other characters have intentionally physically hurt him, and those characters have yet to have remorse or take accountability even by the end of s5. After the school fight, it took time for Robby to calm down, which is a realistic portrayal of trauma responses because they can last for some time even. For example, in s4 Robby stayed in his "fight response" of wanting to do whatever it takes to win the tournament for months, until after his match with Kenny.

Back to the scene with Daniel. Right after Robby clearly took accountability about it with Daniel, even refusing to let Daniel take the blame, Daniel ambushed Robby with the cops. Even though Daniel hadn't planned for it to be an ambush like it became, it's especially important that Daniel hadn't talked to Robby first before calling the cops. Daniel didn't give Robby that time, space, and trust to make the decision on his own. Like I talk about in my post about Robby being like the wild rare bonsai tree, Daniel made it clear that he doesn't have faith in Robby.

Now, as parents and adults, Johnny and Shannon are useless to Robby. Johnny had spent maybe a couple of hours looking for Robby before giving up, and that was only after Daniel went to Johnny and convinced him to help after 2 weeks of Johnny not doing anything useful. Shannon seemed to have immediately called Daniel after Robby showed up at the rehab center and just handed Robby over to Daniel, letting him handle everything. And what did Daniel do? See the above.

Johnny's reaction when Robby asked him where he'd been for over one month after their "one good day" together before the school fight. Johnny literally has no legitimate response he could give Robby.

So the 3 adults Robby was supposed to rely on were the complete opposite of truly supportive or helpful. They weren't there for him like he needed them to be.

In all of this, some people are like "Robby didn't have remorse?" Really? Robby had been experiencing trauma after trauma, including those inflicted on him by these "caring" adults (neglect and abandonment are traumas too). Robby went into survival mode. He has no one, and he had to look after himself. He didn't have adults or friends or anyone who truly supported him. It's not that he didn't have remorse or didn't care. He literally had to focus on keeping it together and making it through the whole situation, including juvie, on his own.

When Sam made her speech at the city council meeting in s3e8 and said,

"Sometimes the scars you can't see are the ones that hurt the most"

I thought of Robby. And, as I talk about in Robby's rejection of toxic empowerment post, Robby's behavior later in the episode is exactly the result of that: his scars that no one sees. His trauma responses, including that "fight" response at Miyagi-Do, are the result of hurt. Robby had been in an unsafe, traumatizing environment for months, and within minutes of seeing Miguel for the first time, Mr. "Strike First" Miguel stepped up and challenged Robby even though Robby had told him to stay out of it. Robby had been keeping his distance from Sam and his anger under control. Miguel was once again worsening a situation that was under control. And before this scene, Miguel had hurt him that day in school and at the s1 avt and at the canyon party. Robby's history with Miguel is mostly Miguel hurting him. It's so ironic that Miguel made that speech at the city council meeting, talking only about his injury and recovery and leaving out that he had assaulted Robby first and escalated the situation in school.

Miguel's actions leading to Robby accidentally injuring him. Miguel had attacked Robby, choked him at one point, attacked him again, even purposely kicked him into the railing at one point, and then was going to break his arm for no reason at all. Of course, Miguel left all of this and his taunts to Robby out of his speech to the city council, portraying himself as only a victim in the fight.

He also talked about bullying as only being a victim of it, but completely disregarded his own past actions against Robby. Even trouncing the Miyagi-Do demonstration at Valley Fest had been an act of bullying, something Miguel had done to not just Robby but to Sam as well. Miguel had been proud of what he'd done, and then went back to trying to win Sam back soon afterwards. Miguel later implied to Robby that Miguel himself isn't an asshole, never acknowledging anything he'd done to hurt Robby. Whenever I watch Miguel's city council speech, I roll my eyes. I also find it so funny (in an ironic way) that both Kreese and Miguel spoke about themselves as well-intentioned heroes who believe that they're innocent and just do good in the world, yet they both cause and have caused so much hurt. They've given and continue to give people scars that can't be seen.

"You did it, Sensei!"

"No, WE did it!"

Miguel deflecting his culpability onto Johnny, despite Miguel's own intentions being to ruin the Miyagi-Do demonstration. He also deflected his culpability onto Johnny during the s1 avt and after the school fight.

Based on comments since s3 about Robby not having remorse about Miguel's injury or not feeling sorry for Johnny or not being understanding of Johnny abandoning him for Miguel or not agreeing with Daniel for not believing in him, some fans apparently believe that Robby isn't allowed to have emotions that don't suit what they want him to feel. It's not just Johnny that wants this from Robby. It's some fans too. Robby isn't allowed to put himself first, even when he is enduring traumas that these other characters inflict on him.

Also, where is Miguel's remorse? In s5, he still didn't have any remorse or take accountability. Instead he took his pound of flesh as if he had always been entitled to it. He's definitely acted that way since s1, before the school fight. Johnny has also just moved on and wants Robby to do the same and keep his negative emotions to himself or he's going to get abandoned again. Even Daniel just wanted Robby to accept what Daniel had done to him after the school fight without trying to understand Robby. All of this is consistent behavior by these characters even in s5.

Robby was the one eventually making things right with the others. The others didn't do anything to make things right with him. But some people still comment that Robby had no remorse. Or they only like Robby now that he took a beating from Miguel with Johnny's blessing, bowed his head in defeat, and is now expressing only the feelings that Johnny, Miguel, Daniel, and others want him to show.

Robby reluctantly agreeing that all is good now between him and Miguel to appease Johnny.

The other characters aside, some fans themselves don't want Robby to have emotions that make sense for what he's experiencing. He is given those emotions though. And the writers confirmed that those emotions are all still there and that things aren't resolved. Robby burying the egg to keep it safe during Chozen's lesson was a clear representation of how Robby keeps himself safe too: hiding who he really is by hiding his emotions to feel safe and accepted. The other kids also protected their eggs the way they handle situations too: Miguel is possessive/controlling, like he is in his relationships with Sam and Johnny; Sam thinks she's got things covered but isn't cautious enough, like when she didn't plan beyond having enough numbers for the arcade fight (she didn't consider that more Cobras might show up); Anthony gives in easily, like he did with his friends and bullied Kenny; Hawk is overconfident and doesn't consider that his opponent might do something unexpected, like he is later with Kenny during the trials; etc...

We have 5 seasons of Robby experiencing trauma after trauma. Robby's emotions due to his traumas have always been valid, but people dismiss his traumas and his emotions. The double standard in the fandom is also blatant. For example, Miguel pushes Johnny away and Johnny runs after him. People praise Johnny for being a "father" to Miguel. Robby pushes Johnny away and Johnny doesn't run after him. People excuse Johnny for this and blame Robby for pushing him away. Also, people praise Johnny running after Miguel to bring him home safe as Johnny showing "fatherly love" for Miguel, while people dismiss Johnny tricking, lying to, and gaslighting Robby to use him to get Miguel back as okay. Some even call it Johnny "trying" with Robby. The blatant contrast in how Johnny prioritizes Miguel and his emotions over Robby and his emotions is there for anyone to see throughout s5 as well. If people wanted to have empathy for Robby, they could choose to.

"There's nothing complicated about it. You had a choice and you chose."

(These are general thoughts and not directed at anyone in particular.)

(Note: Please don't reblog/reply with any dismissive comments/tags about the show writers, the writing, or the serious aspects of the show. Such comments/tags minimize the contents of the post. This blog (link) explains my general thoughts about posting after s5.)

[bradpittwh0re]

faceclaim: ariana grande

pairings: brad pitt x singer!reader

warnings:fluff

wicked2024

liked by bradpitt, yourusername , y/nstan04 and 347,086 others

wicked2024 We are so excited to announce that Y/N L/N will be joining the cast of Wicked 2024 as Glinda

view all 263,907 comments

y/nfan01 we are so proud of you y/n

y/nfan02 wait she's getting back into her acting roots , mother!!!

pittfan24 brad would have to give her acting lessons cause she can’t act , love her voice tho

y/nfan03 y you such a hater she literally acted before she was a singer

y/nfan04 we don't want this we want the next album

y/nfan29 can yall stop bullying y/n to make another album

y/nfan72 she literally made 3 album in 3 years relax

hater09 stop letting singers act they always horrible

y/nstan11 she literally started off on broadway before she became an artist weirdo

bradpitt been keeping this secret for so long your going to kill it

yourusername aww thx my biggest cheerleader

bradpitt 🥰🥰

yourusername

liked by bradpitt, zendaya and 1.5m others

yourusername I can finally reveal my new hair color for the glinda

view all 732,115 comments

y/nfan62 her hair colour suits her so much

bradfan4 why she look like a skeleton

zendaya your so amazingg

y/nfan65 love her to bits but is she okay

bradfan3 probably doing ozempic

y/nfan72 she needs to eat more

bradfan18 brad should be with a real woman not a wannabe child

bradfan55 why does brad think she’s attractive , soo confused

y/nfan87 all these comments are disgusting , stop judging her body

(yourusername disabled her comments)

TMZ

iked by y/nfan14, y/nfan46 and 45,188 others

TMZ Y/n L/N has been getting backlash over new look she posted via instagram.Do you guys thinks she is on ozempic???

view all 30,274 comments

y/nstan04 i miss the old y/n

bradfan13 y/n deserves better

hater92 💀💀💀💀

bradfan22 sided eye , so obvious she is using compare her pics to early

bradpitt

liked by yourinstagram, tchalamet and 35.m others

bradpitt I dislike sharing my private life with the world. Still, when people in my personal life are getting bullied, attacked, and trashy news outlets and fans are saying untrue things, I can't just stay silent.Y/N is the kindest person ever (and the best girlfriend) and doesn't deserve any of this hatred.

But I just also wanted to say, one: There are many different kinds of beautiful. There are many different ways to look healthy and beautiful. When I looked the way you consider my healthy but that in fact wasn’t my healthy. But that’s the first thing: Healthy can look different.

The second thing is you never know what someone is going through. So even if you are coming from a loving place and a caring place, that person is probably working on it or has a support system that they are working on it with, and you never know. So be gentle with each other and with yourselves.

And thirdly, the third one’s unrelated I guess. I just wanted to extend some love your way and tell you that you’re beautiful no matter what phase you’re in. But yeah, sending you guys a lot of love, and I think you’re beautiful, no matter what you’re going through, no matter what weight, no matter how you like to do your makeup these days, no matter what cosmetic procedures you’ve had or not or anything. I just think you’re beautiful and wanted to share some feelings. Have a very beautiful day, and I’m sending you a lot of love.

(bradpitt has disabled comments)

author note - thanks for reading this was something I had done awhile a go and decide to just release something for you guys, also I'm currently editing my Sza and Rihanna works so they can be more up-to-date and relevant

[vanade]

I perused your blog once like a month ago and hadn’t checked it again for a while… then last night suddenly I had a dream about Cepheus and Eridanus specifically, like literally down to their armor, where they were screaming at each other (I think it was about Cepheus doing something reckless? It wasn’t specific) and suddenly Eridanus was crying and they had a brother moment where Ceph realized Eridanus cared more than he was letting on…

I led with that strange introduction to ask, Have Eridanus and Cepheus ever had any emotional brother moments aside from the pre-final shape comic you posted? we’d all love to hear the angst if you have any…

Apologies for the delay! I meant to reply to this a couple days ago but work is currently kicking my butt so I haven't had a chance! I didn't wanna just give a 2 sentence answer. I'll put a read more cut here though cause I wrote too much maybe lmao

Firstly, MAN I'm so envious LOL. I wanna dream about them!!1 my dreams be like "you're doing a test in a class you haven't attended all semester". Thanks brain... Re: emotional moments, none that I've committed to paper either in writing or drawing, but there's one specific one which occurs after Witch Queen. iirc we got some of lore drops about the hidden bringing items to Savathun's throne world (I can't remember if it was to the pool of memories or to the relic) and glimpsing a bit about their pasts. Unlike Ceph who has basically accepted his life as a guardian and makes the most out of it/found his own purpose, Eridanus never has, ever since he was risen. I like to think Eridanus was tempted by the chance to get a glimpse of who he & Ceph were before, even though he knew that finding out the truth would make him even more miserable in his present life. And I think they 100% would have had a massive fight over Eridanus' suggestion that they should look into their past. Ceph would consider it meaningless, and that it would hurt both of them for no reason since there's no way to go back. Eridanus would argue that they don't even know who they are and... he just wants to know if he was happy. in that life. And that it would mean something to know that. And that y'know, Ceph has managed to cope but not everyone else fits into this "guardian" mould the traveler expects of them. And realistically, I like to think that'd awaken something in Ceph? like the first time since they were rezzed that he sees something more in his brother than just a hedonistic gambler with no cares in the world. but he tells Eridanus not to tell him anything if he goes through with it. and on that point, I can't decide if Eridanus would? I think it would be lonely to carry the burden of knowledge alone :( ...but y'know, let me make him suffer... let's say he did check LOOOOL (not that I've decided what their roles were before they died). .... wow that looks like way more than 400 words. thanks for reading all that (and the question!!! makes me want to draw a comic for this scenario ahh if only I had the energy) and honestly thank you for taking so much interest in my awoken OCs!! I'm really flattered that anyone is invested in them <3