#i liked choosing the intellect thingy on my first go

[tls123]

okay time for a new playthrough

[babydotcom]

asami and sokka for the ask game

Vee my abhorred thanks for the ask! I haven't watched past maybe S2E5?? of Korra but I'll give this woman everything I got. Sokka under the cut bc I already know I'm gonna ramble.

First impression: hnnng pretty lady

Impression now: HNNNNG PRETTY LADY WHO ALSO CAN KILL ME HNNNNG

Favorite moment: The first time she uses that electrocution glove thingy in a fight. So hot.

Idea for a story: I know very little about this woman but I think a korrasami college au where she tutors korra so korra can keep her athletic scholarship and they fall in love would be nice :)

Unpopular opinion: The whole Mako/Asami>Makorra>Korrasami pipeline is weird. Like I get we're dealing with Nickelodeon here and Mako getting Sokka'd is Hilarious but damn that whole situation was stupid.

Favorite relationship: Asami/Me. Duh. But also I think Bolin and Asami were funny together. I don't remember very much though.

Favorite headcanon: She drives a mo-ped right?? Consider dirtbike racer Asami I guess :D

Sokka!!!

First impression: Aw man this guy sucks. He reminds me of my brother.

Impression now: AWOOGA HELLO favorite boy best boy I love him so much. There are few characters I have ever cared about as much as I care about him. I relate to him in all the worst ways and I desperately want him to be happy. He's simultaneously the most competent genius in the world and my poor little meow meow. He's great. I love him. I look up to him. I project onto him like a motherfucker.

Favorite moment: Any and all moments where he is being vulnerable. It's never for his own sake but this boy needs to let it out sometimes, jeez. The haiku club. Killing melonlord. The moment he realizes he is going to die with Toph on the airship.

Idea for a story: I won't say much bc I've already got this one in the works but I feel like we need to explore what his life looked like between the men leaving and Aang resurfacing. I don't know if you guys realize this but he was pretty much Chief for two years??? At age 13??????????????

Unpopular opinion: I've managed to only follow smart people but I think the greater fandom doesn't appreciate Sokka's intellect as much as it should. Like. This guy is not your average Joe goofball funny guy who only serves to be a sexist sidekick to his sister. He is bar-none the smartest character in the entire show, and his whole arc is about learning and growing into this world he's never seen before. He is cynical and mean and self-deprecating and kind of an asshole but that's all because he's a child of war and had to be the man of his tribe FAR before he was actually a man. S1E1 Sokka is 1% of who Sokka is but some of y'all act like he didn't grow.

Favorite relationship: Sokka has such beautiful relationships with all of the main cast so it's ridiculously hard to choose. Sokka and Katara have a lovely complex sibling relationship and how much they love each other bleeds into every single moment of the show. Nobody knows them like they know each other but they still have so much to learn as they go on this journey together. I like him and Toph because that's simultaneously his buddy and his little sister. It's the S&K relationship without the baggage which puts S in this position of Protector (which Toph would not like him thinking that way pre-finale) AND Pal and Toph is such a good friend for him? Like she's got all of his snark and brashness without the cynicism. S&Aang is so lovely because Aang is just everybody's best friend, and I like how he forces S to have fun. I think Suki and him make a good pair because she really challenges him and Sokka gets to learn that he can't and shouldn't protect everybody and that's a really important lesson for him. and S&Zuko.... y'all already know how I feel. The parallels drive me up the wall insane. They would be the same person except that Z&K have the same personality and S&Azula would be much more similar if Ozai hadn't fucked Azula up so bad.

Favorite headcanon: Non-binary Sokka all the way. I have a post about Sokka's relationship with masculinity already so I won't expound to much on it here, but it's incredibly unhealthy and I think that in a world post-war or in a modern au he'd really kind of reckon with that relationship and realize that he's putting up this front that isn't useful to him anymore and realize that there are a lot of ways to Be A Person. also the Inuit have a term for intersex people (as far as my sources have shown and this may be completely wrong and please correct me if you know better), sipiniq, and typically they were raised as boys until they reached marrying age and then they could decide to have children or not?? Again I could be wrong but sipiniq sokka is a very interesting concept to me and could line up really well with canon.

game here!

[brooklynislandgirl]

Sinday- voyeurism

Cardinal Seven || Accepting {{ @mynameisanakin, for reasons }}

~ Ivers Estate, Nul, Zelos II~

He doesn’t realise how mesmerising he truly is. 

Even in artificial light his hair gleams silver and gold except where the sweat of exertion has darkened it to a burnished hue and has it curling up by his ears, around his neck, itself stretched in the way it curves. Chasing the light as it pours down his shoulders, narrow without the multiple layers he wears as armour, a barrier to keep out the world as much as to protect the softer parts of him buried beneath his often placid surface, he’s not as thin as he once was but he’s not the dreadnought that the posters and holovids make him out to be. Even so there’s the the subtlest ripple of long lithe muscle as his hand slides up, down. Slow. Methodical. There’s a discernible pattern, an almost mathematical rhythm to his movement that in and of itself can be hypnotic if lingered over for too long. It feels like music, like dance, like art. The focus with which he expends his frenetic energy turns from the faint tremors and occasional twitches into something far more fluid. Anakin is water, filling in the edges with himself like a vast sea allowing itself to be imposed upon by its own choice. What then were he to let himself overflow, go spilling ever outward and only returning in hushed waves of his Presence?

This isn’t the first or only time she has watched Anakin. She could gather up all of the longing glances spared under the watchful gazes of the Masters, furtive as Ikopi when the weather turns and the predators begin their hunt, because there are risks, always. Add them to the the times he’s fallen asleep beside her and she’s glanced down with every feeling glimmering in her eyes, and smiled fondly as she’s stroked his hair. These are often the only times he looks like he’s truly at peace. She has learned to follow his every movement from beneath her lashes, so she can keep her head reverently bowed in the halls as they walked from one place to the next. And once she held them in her hands she could toss them into the heavens and there would be more of them than stars.

She would be lying through her teeth if she said that she didn’t find him as arresting as most people did, especially upon first meeting him. If she said that her blood didn’t catch fire when they were wrapped up in one another. That she doesn’t drown in his kisses only for him to breath life into her again when he pulls back and rests his brow, his nose tip to tip against hers.  But to say that this is all the she sees and feels is also a grievous falsehood. More than simply the shell that houses him is his voracious intellect. The way he intuitively grasps everything he reads, the things he watches. The gentility of his spirit in the kindness he shows others, the willingness to extend that to everyone from his troops to droids, the epitome of compassion. She is moved as much by his strength to rise no matter how others shatter him as she is by the little things. How absorbed he can become in a task that he puts his entire being into it. Or how blindingly radiant his enthusiasm can be when he enjoys something and chooses to share. All of his doubts and his fidgeting. His greater uncertainty of his place in the universe and how that shadows his every step. Those fears that are abjectly unfounded that he thinks are unforgivable as they are...well. He uses words like annoying and strange. Little does he realise that those are the very things she loves most about him, and always has.

Okay, and maybe that particular scar, earned during the battle of Rendili, might actually come in a close second though she would never admit that.

A hitch in his breath, a ground out but creative curse in the back of his throat and his body shudders to stillness, and she half smiles, blushing verdant to the roots of her hair. It sends a very vivid, very personal brightness through their connection.

Anakin stills, now realising she’s there. His best friend, his Left Hand, his adoring bride. All of these things and all else that she could be. Watching. Always watching. The tip of his tongue darts out and pulls his lower lip between his teeth where he bites down on it. Drains the colour until the full lower tier is nearly as pale as the rest of his skin before he lets it go by slow degrees. Once this happens he lets that smouldering blue gaze drop back down where a moment before it had caressed her own, but there’s just the tiniest flicker at the corner of his mouth that gives him away, the ghost of a smile meant only for her. Anakin’s not-so-secret is that he actually enjoys when she watches him.

“What?” It’s only a single word, lacking that very specific lilt that is part inflection and part ill-ease with conversation. His mind fills in a million things that it could be, all deliberately malicious in only the way he can be with himself.

She peels herself from where she’d been leaning and approaches now, appreciative and full of a little star-struck awe that never fully goes away. She waves a hand to indicate him in his entirety as she approaches on silent, bare feet. “I was coming to see how the work was progressing. You’ve been tinkering with that engine for hours now. Which, by the way...” She lifts a thumb up and wipes away a smear of grease from the hollow of his cheek. “Mmm, better. I propose a compromise. Come inside with me and while I make us lunch...you can tell me all that you’ve done. Because I don’t know what that glowing thingy is, and that other particular whatsit is but it looks...broken. Afterwards we can come up with at least a dozen reasons to avoid the Inner Council for another few days. So far, my favourite is you didn’t get any messages because of electromagnetic radiation storms pushing in from wild-space black holes. Or...” He narrows his eyes suspiciously. “...Or what, Keni?” One did not need to be sensitive to the Force to feel the influx of heat that clouds every ounce of her as she smiles, baring her teeth to their full extent.

“...Or that you were seduced by a terribly fierce witch who ended up doing indescribably carnal things to you that you are absolutely certain might have been your Inescapable Doom. I mean, could go either way.”

“Electromagnetic radiation it is,” he grins right before kissing her.

[thehootmess]

MEME thingy

iuRules: Tag 20 blogs you’d like to know better.

Tagged by: @bobokitty and @kakashi-hockeybae (First time ever being tagged in one of these)

Nickname: Hoot Mess 

Zodiac sign: Taurus

Height: 5'7″ (ish. I haven’t bothered to check in a very long time, so I don’t know exactly where I stopped growing).

Gender: female-ish (these days, I’ve been falling into a more fluid area)

Time right now: 11:30 pm

Last thing I googled: (*double checks recent searches*) Oh... HA. UM. PASS.  ( @pidge-rinbalt​ might be able to guess why)

Favorite music artist(s): (seriously, how do I choose just one?) Alright, if I have to pick one only, I’d say... Too Many Zooz

Song stuck in my head: What can I saaaay except “You’re Welcome”~!

Last movie I watched: Mad Max: Fury Road, I think?

What are you wearing right now: Hoho, I see you’ve caught me wearing pants this time~... Normally I’d be in some argyle pajamas right now, but I’m still in my work clothes, which are black jeans, black shirt, red scarf, and my puffy grey coat with a fluffy hood.

Last TV show I watched: Bob’s Burgers

What do you post: HEH... Good question (why do you guys follow me?)

Hogwarts house: Hufflepuff. Aw yeeeah

Pokémon team: Set me up with all of the Eevees. But Raichu has always been my buddy, so I’d have to find a way to include them (sorry, Jolteon).

Why did you choose your URL: Ok, so there’s roughly 3 reasons here... 1] It’s a fun play on the phrase “hot mess”, 2] I’m actually a wreck of a human being, E] I love the fact that people always shorten it to “Hoot”, and 3] (the most obvious) I’m such a heckin’ h- delight to be around (ﾟ⊿ﾟ)

When you created this blog: I’m gonna guess 2010, but some fearful part of me suspects earlier than that...

Do you get asks regularly: Nah

Do you have any other blogs: Yes and no, cuz they’re not really active (but they amuse me).

What did your past relationship teach you: Hah... Um... That I should probably never have one ever again (this sort of borders close friendships too)... That communication doesn’t mean anything if honesty is lacking... That physical distance bothers everyone but me... That there’s always going to be something I can’t provide, and that automatically makes me not good enough/applicable (despite knowing that isn’t true).

Religious or Spiritual: Nah

Favorite color: If I go by my clothes, then... Black? (I don’t know, I don’t really love or hate any of them anymore)

Average hours of sleep: ᕕ( ‘ᐛ )ᕗ ...5  (hahaha end my suffering)

Lucky number: i (get it, cuz it’s imaginary)

Favorite character(s): (Jeezus, where do I start) Ok, uhhh, Castiel, Crowley, The Scottsman, Aku, David Tennant Doctor, Watson, Sokka, Bob the Intellect Spirit, Hades (any fandom), Martian Man Hunter, The Flash, Bruce Banner, Green Lantern, Deadpool, Undyne, Sans- FFFFFFFFF OK YER GONNA BE HERE ALL NIGHT SO I’LL JUST STOP THERE

Following: 245

How many blankets do you sleep with: 1 blanket + 1 comforter in cooler seasons. 1 thin sheet + 1 sweaty agony in the summer.

Dream job: Freelancing my design work & doing a lot of comics

Tagging: Er... Who to pick.. I’m gonna say @roseverdict @pidge-rinbalt @jazmanianjazzy @sharky-the-sharkicorn (cuz I gotta know about that name & yer my most recent follower)  uhhhh... (there’s like several others, but I don’t know their tumblr handles). Also any followers who actually READ this whole thing, because bless you, what patience.

[thatnerdgirl7]

Aah! Wee-be-be-bee.

Kuzco: Will you take a look at that? Pretty pathetic, huh? Well, you’ll never believe this, but that llama you’re looking at was once a human being And not just any human being That guy was an emperor A rich, powerful ball of charisma Oh, yeah! This is his story

[Crying]

Well, actually my story That’s right– I’m that llama The name is Kuzco Emperor Kuzco I was the world’s nicest guy, and they ruined my life for no reason Oh, is that hard to believe? Look, I tell you what You go back away– you know, before I was a llama, and this will all make sense All right, now see, that’s a little too far back Oh, ho! Look at me! That’s me as a baby

Waah!

Ahem! All right, let’ smove ahead Oh, yeah.

Theme song guy: There are despots and dictators Political manipulators There are blue bloods with the intellects of fleas There are kings and catty tyrants Who are so lacking in refinements They’d be better suited swinging from the trees He was born and raised to rule No one has ever been as cool In a thousand years of aristocracy [Ship’s Horn Blows] An enigma and a mystery In Mesoamerican history The quintessence of perfection that is he

Kuzco: Ok, this is the real me Not this - This - Not this. - Winner! - Loser. Ok, see this palace? Everyone in it is at my command Check this out [Snaps Fingers] Butler. Chef.

Theme song guy. Oh, yeah! He’s the sovereign lord of the nation He’s the hippest cat in creation He’s the alpha, the omega, A to Z [Snaps Fingers] And this perfect world will spin Around his every little whim ‘Cause this perfect world begins and ends with Me. What’s his name? Kuzco That’s his name Chorus: Kuzco He’s the king of the world Chorus: Kuzco Is he hip or what? Chorus: Kuzco Yeah

[Tires Skidding] Gow! You threw off my groove!

Guard: I’m sorry, but you’ve thrown off the emperor’s groove.

Sorry!

You were saying? What’s his name? Kuzco Chorus: Kuzco Theme song guy: That’s his name Is he hip or what? Don’t you know he’s the king of the world? Whoa, yeah Oww!

Ha! Boom, baby! Aah! Your Highness, it is time for you to choose your bride.

Kuzco: Allrighty Trot out the ladies Let’s take a look-see. Hate your hair. Not likely. Yikes, yikes, yikes, and let me guess. You have a great personality. Is this really the best you could do?

Oh, yes. Oh, no. I mean, perhaps–

Kuzco: What is he babbling about? He’s like the thing that wouldn’t shut up Anyway, still wondering about that llama in the opening? Well, let me show you the people responsible for ruining my life First, there’s Pacha

Uh, excuse me. I’m here to see Emperor Kuzco. You see, I got this summons–

Guard: Inside, up the stairs, and to the left Just follow the signs

Oh, great. Thanks a lot.

Kuzco: Uh, and don’t be fooled by the folksy peasant look

Oh!

Old man: Pardon me That’s mine

Oh, here you go.

- Thank you.

- You’re welcome.

Aah! Oh, hey. Are you all right? Here. Let me, uh–

Oh, you’re so very kind.

What happened? Well, I… I threw off the emperor’s groove.

- What?

- His groove! The rhythm in which he lives his life, his pattern of behavior. I threw it off, and the emperor had me thrown out the window.

[Gasps] Oh, really? I’m supposed to see him today.

Don’t throw off his groove!

Oh, ok. Beware the groove.

Hey, are you gonna be all right?

Groove.

Kuzco: You see what I mean? This guy’s trouble, but as bad as he is, he is nothing compared to what’s coming up next

Yzma: And why have you come here today?

Peasant: Well Your Highness– I mean, Your Grace.

Kuzco: Ok, gang Check out this piece of work This is Yzma, the emperor’s advisor– living proof that dinosaurs once roamed the Earth And let’s not forget Yzma’s right-hand man Every decade or so she gets a new one This year’s model is called Kronk

[Fly Buzzing]

Yeah, I got that there, Yzma.

- Kronk: Unh!

- [Buzzing]

Kuzco: Yep, that’s Kronk Now lately, Yzma’s gotten into this bad habit of trying to run the country behind my back, and Im thinkin’ that’s got to stop

It is no concern of mine whether your family has… What was it again?

Um, food.

Ha! You really should have thought of that before you became peasants. We’re through here. Take him away. Next!

But l– Oh, ok.

Ugh.

Kuzco: The nerve of some of those peasants, huh?

Tell me about it. Aah!

Hi there.

Ooh, Your Highness. Ahem. Oh, oh, oh, ha ha ha. Um…

Uh, you were doing it again.

Doing? Doing… Doing what?

Doing my job. I’m the emperor, and you’re the emperor’s advisor. Remember that?

But, Your Highness, I was only dealing with meaningless peasant matters.

Kuzco: Whoa Look at these wrinkles What is holding this woman together? What the– How long has that been there?

Kronk: Good thinkin’, Yzma What do you say, Kuzco?

Whoa! No touchy! No touchy. No touch.

Servant: Excuse me, Your Highness The village leader is here to see you.

Oh, great. Send him in. Oh, and by the way, you’re fired.

Fired? W-W-What do you mean, fired?

Um, how else can I say it? You’re being let go, your department’s being downsized, you’re part of an outplacement, we’re going in a different direction, we’re not picking up your option… Take your pick. I got more.

But l– You–uh– Uhh. But– But, Your Highness, I have been nothing if not loyal to the empire for–for–for many, many years.

Hey, hey, everybody hits their stride. You just hit yours 50 years ago. So…who’s in my chair?

Kronk: Oh, oh! I know! Yzma. Yzma’s in your chair, right?

Very good, Kronk. Here. Get the snack.

Got it! Unh! Oof!.

Ok, you heard the man. Up, up, up.

Kronk: Im ok I’m fine

[Snarling]

Ah. ok. Show him in.

Ahem. Uh, afternoon, Your Highness. I’m here because I received a summons–

Kuzco: Hey, there he is! My main village man.

Um, Pacha. Anyway, I got this summons–

Pacha. That’s right. You are just the man I wanted to see.

I am?

Word on the street is you can fix my problem. You can fix my problem, can’t you?

Sure. I’ll do what I can.

Good, good. That’s just what I wanted to hear. Are you aware of just how important your village is to the empire?

Well, I know we grow the crops that you use here at the palace. We also herd the llamas that you– My village?

Oh, yeah.

You got a pretty sweet little setup there on top of that hill, don’t you?

Ha ha ha! Yeah. My family has lived on that hilltop for the last 6 generations.

Uh-huh. So tell me, where do you find you get the most sun?

Oh, I’d say just on the other side of those trees. When the sun hits that ridge just right, these hills sing.

Well, that settles it.

Really?

Yep. Problem solved. Thanks for coming. That’s it? That’s all you wanted me for?

I just needed an insider’s opinion before I ok’d this spot for my pool.

Uh…your pool?

Boo-yah! Welcome to Kuzcotopia, my ultimate summer getaway complete with water slide.

What?

Isn’t it great? It’s my birthday gift to me. Ha! I’m so happy.

Uh…uh… um…l don’t understand how this could happen.

Well, let me clear it up for you. At my birthday celebration tomorrow, I give the word, and your town will be destroyed to make way for this… [Hums Carnival Tune] So, if I were you, I’d pick up some change-of-address forms on the way home.

But, um, where will we live?

Hmm… Don’t know, don’t care. How’s that?

Oh, but wait. You can’t–

When I give the word, your little town thingy will be bye-bye. Bye-bye!

Oh, w–wait. No–

Heh heh. Boohoo. Kuzco: Oh, yeah Everything was goin’ my way Kuzco: Or so I thought

He can’t get rid of me that easily. Who does that ungrateful little worm think he is? Does he… A little to the left. …have any idea of who he’s dealing with? How could he do this to me? Why, I practically raised him.

Yeah, you think he would’ve turned out better. Yeah, go figure. Well, it’s better you’re takin’ out your anger on these things instead of the real Kuzco, huh?

[Gasps] That’s it, Kronk! - That’s it! - [Crash] I’ll get rid of Kuzco. Ha ha ha ha ha!

The real Kuzco? Of course the real Kuzco. Don’t you see? It’s perfect. With him out of the way and no heir to the throne, I’ll take over and rule the empire. Brilliant!

So how does that work with you bein’ fired and all? The only ones who know about that are the three of us, soon to be the two of us. And I’m one of those two, right? To the secret lab! Pull the lever, Kronk.

Yzma: Wrong lever!

[Splash]

Huh?

Why do we even have that lever? [Yelps] Get out of my way!

Skull: Please remain seated and keep your arms and legs in at all times

Yzma: Whee!

Kronk: Faster, faster! Yzma, put your hands in the air!

Kronk: Whoo-hoo! Whoo-hoo!

Ah, how shall I do it? Oh, I know. Yzma: I’ll turn him into a flea, a harmless little flea, and then I’ll put that flea in a box, and then I’ll put that box inside of another box, and then I’ll mail that box to myself, and when it arrives, Ah ha ha ha! I’ll smash it with a hammer! It’s brilliant, brilliant, brilliant, I tell you! Genius, I say! Or, to save on postage, I’ll just poison him with this. Take it, Kronk. Oh ho ho ho. Feel the power.

Oh… I can feel it. Our moment of triumph approaches. Ah ha ha ha ha ha! It’s dinner time.

So…is everything ready for tonight?

Oh, yeah. I thought we’d start off with soup and a light salad and then see how we feel after that.

Not the dinner… The you know.

Oh, right. The poison– The poison for Kuzco, the poison chosen specially to kill Kuzco, Kuzco’s poison. That poison?

Yes! That poison.

Got you covered.

Excellent. A few drops in his drink, then I’ll propose a toast, and he will be dead before dessert.

Which is a real shame, because it’s gonna be delicious.

[Door Bangs Open] Boom, bam, baby! Kuzco: Let’s get to the grub I am one hungry king of the world. So…no hard feelings about being let go?

None whatsoever. Kronk, get the emperor a drink.

Drink. Right. [Pouring Drink] [Opening Poison Stopper] [Pours Poison in Drink] [Explosion]

Your Highness.

[Sniffs] Is something burning?

[Gasps] My spinach puffs!

[Twangs Fork]

Ahem.

So… he seems… nice.

Heh. He is.

He’s what, in his late twenties?

Heh heh. I’m not sure.

Saved 'em!

- That’s great.

- Yzma: Great!

- Good job.

- Very good job. Watch it. They’re still hot. Ahem. Ahem! Heh heh heh. Kronk. The emperor needs his… drink.

Right. Oh. Right.

Hey, Kronky, everything ok back there? Well, heh.

Oh, uh… Ooh. The drinks were a bit on the… hmm… oh…ugh…warm side. Heh heh. Hey, did you see that sky today? Talk about blue. Ha ha ha.

Yes, Kronk. Riveting. A toast to the emperor! Long live Kuzco!

[Under His Breath]

Don’t drink the wine.

[Coughing] Poison.

Ah! Tasty.

Yzma: Finally! Ha ha ha! Good work, Kronk.

Oh, they’re so easy to make. I’ll get you the recipe.

Now to get rid of the body.

Ok! What were we saying? Uh…we were just making a toast Yzma: to your long and healthy rule

Right. So what are you gonna do? I mean, you’ve been around here a long time, and I really mean a long time. Um…

Ahem. [Humming]

Kuzco: It might be difficult for someone of your age adjusting to life in the private sector.

Hey, Kronk, can you top me off, pal? Be a friend? Heh heh.

[Yzma Muttering]

Kuzco: Now, about you finding new work Hit him on the head. that’s–that’s gonna be tough

More broccoli?

Because you’re you know Let’s face it You’re no spring chicken, and I mean that in the best possible way.

What? A llama?

He’s supposed to be dead!

Yeah, weird. Let me see that vial. This isn’t poison. This is extract of llama. Ugh!

You know, in my defense, your poisons all look alike. You might think about re labeling some of them.

Take him out of town and finish the job now!

What about dinner?

Kronk, this is kind of important.

How about dessert?

Well, I suppose there’s time for dessert.

And coffee?

All right. A quick cup of coffee. Then take him out of town and finish the job!

[Kronk Singing Jazz Scat] Kronk: Cha cha cha cha

Kuzco: Guess where I am right now Uh-huh. In the bag Still think I’m not the victim here? Watch. It gets better.

Hey! Ba-da ba-da ba-da-da

Kuzco: Ugh, he’s doing his own theme music? [Holds Note] Ba-da ba-da ba-da ba Ba-da-ba

Kuzco: Gig, dumb, and tone deaf I am so glad I was unconscious for all of this

Kronk: Huhh! Mission accomplished.

Kronk angel: You’re not just gonna let him die like that, are you? My shoulder angel.

Kronk devil: Don’t listen to that guy He’s trying to lead you down the path of righteousness. I’m gonna lead you down the path that rocks.

Oh, come off it.

You come off it!

- You.

- You.

- You.

- You infinity.

Uhh! Listen up, big guy. I got 3 good reasons why you should just walk away. “ Number one…” Look at that guy! He’s got that sissy stringy music thing.

We’ve been through this. It’s a harp, and you know it.

Oh, right. That’s a harp… and that’s a dress.

Robe!

Reason number 2. Look what I can do. Ha ha ha!

But… what does that have to do with anything?

No, no. He’s got a point.

Listen, you guys. You’re sort of confusing me, so be gone! Uh, or, uh, you know. However I get rid of you guys. That’ll work.

Kuzco: Um, what’s with the chimp and the bug? Can we get back tome?

Oh, boy. Think, think, think. What to do, what to do? What do we do with the body?

[Sighs] What am I gonna tell the village?

Come on, Kronky. Come on, Kronky. ok. Kronk: What do I do? What do I do?

- Aah! - [Mrreoww]

Kronk: Back! Elbow! Shoulder!

- Unh! - [Meow]

[Gasps] Oh. Hey! Hey, you! Kronk: Hey! Excuse me. Excuse me. Stop! Pardon me. Excuse me. Sorry about that. Comin’ through. Hey, you with the cart!

Kronk: Uh-oh This is not good. Uhh. Hope that doesn’t come back to haunt me.

Tipo: Mom, Mom! I think I’m still growing! Measure me again!

Chicha: Ha! All right, Tipo. Stand still and let’s see.

Mom, you and I both know that it’s impossible for him to have grown in the last 5 minutes.

Mmm! Mmm!

Isn’t it?

[Gasps] Look how much you’ve grown!

What? Tipo, get out of the way. It’s my turn again. Measure me.

Dad’s home!

[Kids Laughing] Hey, ha ha ha! Ha ha ha!

Pacha: Come here Ha ha ha! [All Three Laughing]

Dad! I ate a bug today!

Oh! Was Mom baking again? Heh. Don’t tell her I said that.

Chicha: I heard that. Ok, everybody, move aside Lady with a baby comin’ through.

Dad, Dad, Dad! Look at how big I am!

We were all measured today.

Oh.

I’m going through a growth spurt. I’m as big as you were when you were me.

Mm-hmm. Sure are.

That’s not as impressive as my loose tooth. See?

Ok, ok, you two. Our deal was that you could stay awake until Daddy came home. Now say good night.

Both: Dad, do we have to?

[Whimpering] No, you two can stay up. We’re just gonna be sittin’ here tellin’ each other how much we love each other. Right, honey? [Coos]

- Ew!

- Blecch!

Both: Good night. [Both Laughing]

So what did the emperor want?

Ahem. You know what? He couldn’t see me.

Couldn’t see you? - Why not?

- I don’t know.

Well, that’s just rude.

Well, he is the emperor. I’m sure he’s busy.

No, no, no, no. No. Emperor or no emperor, it’s called common courtesy.

Honey…

If that were me, I’d march right back there and demand to see him, and you know I would.

Sweetie, sweetie, think of the baby.

Pacha, I’m fine. This baby’s not coming for a while, but even if it was, I’d give that guy a piece of my mind. That kind of behavior just–just– Uhh! [Snarls] I gotta go wash something. Pacha? You ok?

Hmm? Oh, yeah. I’m just a little tired from the trip. Um…Im gonna go put Misty away.

Uh, heh heh. Hi. Excuse me. 2 seconds here. Um, I’m the one in the cart. Remember? This story’s about me, not him. ok. You got it? All right. We’re gonna move ahead. Sorry to slow you down. Heh heh heh.

Huh?

Whoa.

Uhh. Oh.

Where’d you come from, little guy?

No touchy.

Aah! Demon llama!

Demon llama? Where?

- Aah!

- Aah!

[Panting] Oh, no! Oh, no! Oh, no! Ooh hoo hoo! Ow! Ow, my head.

Ok, demon llama. Just take it easy. I mean you no harm.

What are you talking about– Oh, wait. I know you. You’re that whiny peasant.

[Gasps] Emperor Kuzco? Yeah. Who do you think you were talkin’ to?

Uh…how did– Um… you don’t… look like the emperor.

What do you mean I don’t look like the emperor? Uh…oh… do this… What is this, some kind of little game you country folk like to– Aah! It can’t be! Aah! Aah! Aah! My face! Aah! My beautiful, beautiful face!

Ok, ok, ok. I’m an ugly, stinky llama!

Wait, ok, Your Majesty. - Llama face!

- Shh! What happened?

I’m tryin’ to figure that out, ok? [Laughing Hysterically] Ohh-ho! I can’t remember. I can’t remember anything. Wait a minute. I remember you. I remember telling you that I was building my pool where your house was, and then you got mad at me. Ohh! And you turned me into a llama!

What? No, I did not. Yes, and then you kidnapped me.

Why would I kidnap a llama? I have no idea. You’re the criminal mastermind, not me.

What? Hmm. You’re right. That’s giving you way too much credit. ok. I have to get back to the palace. Yzma’s got that “secret lab.” I’ll just snap my fingers and order her to change me back. Hey, you. No time to waste. Let’s go. Hey, tiny, I want to get out of this body. Wouldn’t you? Now let’s go.

Build your summerhouse somewhere else.

You want to run that by me again?

I can’t let you go back unless you change your mind and build your summer home somewhere else.

Hmm. I got a little secret for you. Come here. No, closer. I don’t make deals with peasants!

Then I guess I can’t take you back.

Fine. I don’t need you. I can find my own way back. I wouldn’t recommend it.

It’s a little dangerous if you don’t know the way.

Nice try, pal.

No, really. I’m telling you, Pacha: There are jaguars and snakes and quicksand

[High Voice] I’m not listening. I’m not kidding.

Listen, you cannot go in there. La la la la Oh. Heh heh. Still not listening.

Aw, you… Fine. Fine. Go ahead! If there’s no Kuzco, there’s no Kuzcotopia. Takes care of my problem. Hmm.

[Kuzco Laughs] Scary jungle. Right. Ooh, a leaf. Ooh, it might attack me. Oh, it’s a scary tree. [High Voice] I’m afraid. Ha ha. Please. Never find my way? I’m the emperor, and as such, I’m born with an innate sense of direction. Ok, where am I?

- [Buzzing]

- [Gasps] Wha– Help me! Help me! Help me! [Crunch]

Uhh.

Fly: Too late.

Ok, that was the freakiest thing I’ve ever seen.

[Gasps] [ Animal Roars] Aah! Hmm. What do you want?

[Chatters]

Oh, for me? Why, I don’t know what to say.

[Laughs] Ow!

Hit the road, bucky.

[Mutters]

[Raspberry]

Aah! Ow! Huh? Huh?

[Snoring] Kuzco: Huh? Uh-oh.

[Chatters] No, no. No, no, no, no.

[Chatters] No, no. No, don’t.

[Chatters]

[Loud Pop]

Ha! [Gasps]

[Jaguars Roaring] Aah! Kuzco: No! Aah!

[Jaguar Roars] Kuzco: Aah!

[Roaring]

[Meow] You killer jaguars… Whoa!

Pacha:Aah-eee! Aah! [Pacha Screams Tarzan Yell] Aah!

[Jaguars Growling] Pacha: Yee-aah!

Kuzco: Aah! Don’t worry, Your Highness. I gotcha. You’re safe now.

Maybe I’m just new to this whole rescuing thing, but this, to me, might be considered kind of a step backwards, wouldn’t you say?

No, no, no. It’s–It’s ok. This–This is all right. We can figure this out.

I hate you.

- No!

- Yaah!

Kuzco: Aah! Ow! [Both Scream]

[Bubbly Scream]

Kuzco: Whoo hoo hoo! Aah! Ow! Ow! Uhh!

[Both Cough]

[Spits] I don’t know about you, but I’m getting all funned out.

Uh-oh.

Don’t tell me. We’re about to go over a huge waterfall.

- Yep.

- Sharp rocks at the bottom?

Most likely.

Bring it on.

Boo-yah! Whoo!

[Splash]

[Gasps]

[Gasps]

[Inhales]

[Sighs] Your Highness. Your Highness, can you hear me? Oh, boy. Come on, breathe. Breathe! Ohh. Why me? Ooh! All right.

[Inhales]

- Ohh!

- Aah!

[Both Spit]

- Ohh!

- Ohh!

[Gargles]

Pacha: For the last time, it was not a kiss.

Well, whatever you call it… [Spits] it was disgusting. And if you would’ve done what I ordered you to do in the first place, we all could’ve been spared your little kiss of life.

Pacha: Aw!

But now that you’re here, you will take me back to the palace. I’ll have Yzma change me back, and then I’ll start construction on Kuzcotopia. Oh, yeah.

Ok, now, look, I think we got off on the wrong foot here.

Mm-hmm.

I just think if you really thought about it, you’d decide to build your home on a different hilltop.

And why would I do that?

Because… deep down, I think you’ll realize that you’re forcing an entire village out of their homes just for you.

And that’s… bad?

[Laughs] Well, yeah. Nobody’s that heartless.

Mmm.

Now take me back.

What? Wait, wait. How can you be this way? All you care about is building your summer home and filling it with stuff for you.

Uh, yeah. Doh. Me. Everyone else in the kingdom gets it. You’re the only one that doesn’t seem to be with the program, eh, Pacha?

You know what? Someday, you’re going to wind up all alone, and you’ll have no one to blame but yourself.

Thanks for that. I’ll log that away. Now, for the final time, I order you to take me back to the palace.

Looks to me like you’re stuck out here, because unless you change your mind, I’m not taking you back.

[Imitates] Because unless you change your mind, I’m not taking you back. Me, me, me. Moo, moo, moo.

Huh? What? I didn’t do anything. I didn’t– Somebody’s throwing stuff. You going to build a fire or what? What’s going on?

[Sighs] He’s never going to change his mind.

Ohh. How am I ever going to get out of here?

[Muttering,

Shivering]

[Stops Shivering]

Yzma: And so, it is with great sadness that we mourn the sudden departure of our beloved prince… [Sobbing] taken from us so tragically on the very eve of his 18th birthday. Poor little guy. His legacy will live on in our hearts… He never had a chance. for all eternity.

[Sniffles]

Well, he ain’t gettin’ any deader. Back to work.

[Blows]

Yzma: Kronk, darlin’, I must admit you had me worried when you mixed up those poisons, but now that Kuzco is dead, all is forgiven.

Ah. Oh, yeah, yeah. He’s… Heh. He’s dead, all right. Heh heh. I mean, you can’t get much deader than he– than he is right now. Unless, of course, we killed him again. I suppose. Hey, look, the royal dresser’s here.

Kronk…

I should tell you right now I’m kind of hard to fit.

Kronk… I wear a 66 long and a 31 waist.

Kuzco is dead, right?

Tell me Kuzco’s dead. I need to hear these words.

Do you need to hear all those words exactly?

He’s still alive? Well, he’s not as dead as we would’ve hoped.

Kronk… I just thought I’d give you the heads-up in case Kuzco ever came back.

He can’t come back! Yeah. That would be kind of awkward– especially after that lovely eulogy. You think?

You and I are going out to find him. If he talks, we are through! Now let’s move!

Dad, look out!

[Panting]

Tipo, what is it? I had a dream that Dad was tied to a log and was careening out of control down a raging river of death!

All right, all right, it’s ok.

- It was awful!

- Shh!

It’s ok, it’s ok. Tipo, calm down. It was just a dream. Your dad’s fine. He just went back to see the emperor.

Oh. Like you told him to, 'cause you’re always right.

That’s right.

Well, in my dream, Dad had to kiss a llama.

Yeah, like that would ever happen.

- It could.

- Nuh-uh.

- Yeah-huh.

- Nuh-uh.

Yeah-huh.

[Continue Bickering Quickly]

Good night, you two.

- Night, Mom! - Night, Mom!

- Yeah-huh. Yeah-huh. - Nuh-uh. Nuh-uh.

[Screeching]

Ooh! [Coughs]

B-B-Brr!

Kuzco: Uh, hey Thanks. Oh.

No problem.

Feels like wool.

Yeah.

Alpaca?

Oh, yeah, it is.

Oh, yeah, I thought so. It’s nice.

My wife made it. Oh, she knits?

Crochets. Crochets? Nice.

Thanks.

[Ribbit] [Ribbit Ribbit] So… So, I was thinking that when I got back to the city, we’d, uh… I mean, there’s lots of hilltops, and maybe I might, you know… I–I might…

Are you saying… you’ve changed your mind?

Oh, well, l–I…

Because you know that means you’re doing something nice for someone else. No, I know that.

I know. And you’re all right with that?

Yes. What?

Don’t shake unless you mean it.

All right. Let’s get you back to the palace.

Oh, by the way, thanks.

No… thank you

Pacha: ok. Once we cross this bridge, it’s only an hour to the palace.

Kuzco: Good, because believe it or not, I think I need a bath. I believe it.

- What was that?

- Nothing.

Ohh!

Pacha: Whoa!

Kuzco!

Pacha: Kuzco!

- Yeah?

- Quick, help me up!

No. I don’t think I will.

You’re going to leave me here?

Well, I was going to have you imprisoned for life, but I kind of like this better.

I thought you were a changed man.

Oh, come on. I had to say something to get you to take me back to the city.

So all of it was a lie?

Well, yeah. No, wait. Uh, yeah, yeah. It all was a lie. Toodles.

We shook hands on it! [Echoes]

You know, the funny thing about shaking hands is… you need hands. Ha! ok. Buh-bye.

Aah!

Are you ok?

Are you all right?

Yeah.

Yeah. I think I’m all right.

Pacha: Good! That’s for going back on your promise!

Yii!

Yeah. That’s for kidnapping me and taking me to your village… which I’m still gonna destroy, by the way. Ah ha ha ha!

No touchy.

Ooh!

Why did I risk my life for a selfish brat like you? I was always taught that there was some good in everyone, but, ooh, you proved me wrong.

Oh, boohoo. Now I feel really bad. Bad llama.

I could’ve let you die out there in that jungle, and then all my problems would be over.

Well, that makes you ugly and stupid. Let’s end this.

Ladies first.

- [Bell Dings]

- Aah! - Yaah!

[Both Grunting]

[Honks]

[Rope Snaps]

Ohh! - Aah! - Aah! [Both Screaming] - Ow! Ow! - Ow! Ow! - Whoa! - Ohh!

[Alligators Roar]

Kuzco: What are we gonna do? Aah! What are we gonna do? We’re gonna die! We’re gonna die! That’s it for me!

Pacha: No, we’re not Calm down. I have an idea. Give me your arm. Ok, now the other one. When I say go, push against my back, and we’ll walk up the hill. Ready? Go.

Ow! You did that on purpose. - Aah!

- No, I didn’t! Now, we’re gonna have to work together to get out of this, so follow my lead.

Ready? - Right foot.

- Whose right? Your right or mine?

I don’t care. Mine.

Well, why yours?

Ok, your right! Ready?

Ok, got it.

Ok, right.

Left. Right.

Ha ha! Look, we’re moving!

[Roar]

Aah!

Don’t look down! Now, stay with me. Stay with me. Right. Left. Right. Left. Right. Left. Right!

Now what, genius?

Working on it. Ok, here’s the deal. Stretch out your neck, and I’ll grab the rope.

How do I know you won’t let me fall after you grab the rope?

You’re just gonna have to trust me!

[Strains]

Kuzco: You know, it’s a good thing you’re not a big, fat guy, or this would be really difficult.

Kuzco: Aah! Aah! Almost. Got it! It’s stuck.

Take your time. No hurry here.

Scorpions! Aah ha ha!

Kuzco! Aah! Oh, no! Uhh! Aah! Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!

Kuzco: Huh? Aah! Aah! Whoa!

[Both Laugh]

- [Rumbling]

- Huh?

Look out! Ohh!

Pacha: Ohh

Whoo-hoo! Yeah! Ooh, look at me and my bad self. I snatched you right out of the air. “Ooh, I’m a crumbly canyon wall, and I’m taking you with me.” Well, not today, pal. Uh-huh. Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh. Kuzco: Uh-huh

You just saved my life.

Huh? So?

- I knew it.

- Knew what? That there is some good in you after all.

- Kuzco: Oh, no

- Admit it.

- Wrong.

- Yes, there is.

- Nuh-uh. - I think there is.

- Hey, you could’ve let me fall.

- Nuh-uh!

Come on, what’s the big deal? Nobody’s that heartless. [Gasps] Don’t read too much into it. It was a one-time thing.

Right. Sure. Well, we better get going. With that bridge out, it’s a 4-daywalk to the palace.

What? You mean you’re still taking me back?

I shook on it, didn’t I?

Well, yeah, but I hope you realize that doesn’t change a thing. I’m still building Kuzcotopia when I get back. Well, 4 days is a long time. Who knows? Maybe you’ll change your mind.

Uh-huh. 4 days. What are the chances of you carrying me?

Not good.

Yzma: No, no, no! We’ve searched every village surrounding the palace and still no sign of Kuzco. Where is he? Kronk!

Kronk here.

I’m getting tired. Pull over.

Sure thing.

Kronk out.

Ooh! Aah! Aah! Ohh!

[Straining]

Perfect. These are my best shoes. I hate this jungle.

[Insects Buzzing]

Oh, look. A golden-throated small-winged warbler. Just one more for exotic bird bingo. Aah! I am loving this.

[Gasps] [Chatters]

Get away from me!

Yzma: Uhh

[Chatters]

Yeah. Tell me about it.

[Chatters]

No, no, it’s not you. She’s not the easiest person to get close to. There’s a wall there. Trust me.

Are you talking to that squirrel? I was a junior chipmunk.

I had to be versed in all the woodland creatures. Please continue.

[Chatters]

Aah! Why me? Why me?

Hey, it doesn’t always have to be about you. This poor little guy has had it rough. Seems a talking llama Kronk: gave him a hard time the other day

Oh, a talking llama? Ha ha ha ha! Do tell. Heh heh heh heh!

[Chatters]

Uh, he doesn’t really want to talk to you.

Well, then you ask him.

[Sighs]

I hate being in the middle. Squeaky, uh… squeak, squeaker, squeakin’.

[Chatters]

Aah! Jaguars? No kidding? Brutal.

[Chattering]

[Stops Chattering]

Uh, could you give us a little room here?

Uh, sorry. Uh-uh. A little bit more, please.

How is this?

- [Chatters]

- Yeah, that’s good. Now ask him which way the talking llama went!

Uh, squeakity-squeak, squeakin’.

[Chatters]

Low blood sugar, huh? Yeah. It’s a curse. Ha. Well, as soon as we get something to eat, you’re walking the rest of the way.

[Sighs]

Welcome to Mudka’s Meat Hut, home of the mug…

[Giggles]

…of meat. What’ll it be?

Ahem. We’ll have 2 specials.

Is that all right, dear?

Oh, whatever you say, pumpkin. You know what I like.

Hee hee hee. We’re on our honeymoon.

Bless you for coming out in public. So that’s 2 specials. And an onion log. To split.

[Giggles] Ordering! I need 2 heartburns and a deep-fried doorstop on table 1 2!

[Laughing]

Pacha: Ok, so I’ll admit this was a good idea.

When will you learn that all my ideas are good ones?

That’s funny, because I thought you going into the jungle by yourself, being chased by jaguars, lying to me to take you back to the palace were all really bad ideas.

Anything sounds bad when you say it with that attitude.

Hot and crispy pill bug for the happy couple. Mazeltov

[Sniffs] [Splort] Oh, boy. [Slurping]

Ooh. Ugh. Bluh. Urp!

Pacha: Oh, here Let me get that for you

Bleaggh! Uck!

Where are you going?

I’m just going to slip into the kitchen and have a word with the chef.

You’re gonna get us thrown out.

Please. With this disguise, I’m invisible.

Heh heh!

We’ve been walking around in circles for who knows how long. That is the last time we take directions from a squirrel. I should have done away with Kuzco myself when I had the chance.

[Coughing]

Oh, you really gotta stop beating yourself up about that.

[Squeak]

Kronk: Uh-oh I’ll get you another one there, Yzma

[Gasps]

You using that fork there, pal?

Hey, don’t I know you?

I don’t think so. Wrestled you in high school?

Don’t remember that.

Metal shop? I got it! Miss Narca’s interpretive dance–2 semesters. I was usually in the back because of my weak ankles. Come on, pal. You gotta help me out here.

I don’t think we’ve ever met, but I gotta go.

Don’t worry. I’ll think of it.

Look, all I know is the food looked iffy. I’m not the only one that thinks that, I’m sure.

Psst! Hey!

So I’m just checking to make sure you’re going to take the main course up a notch.

Is there anything on this menu that is not swimming in gravy?

Hang on. I’ll go ask the chef.

It’s a simple question. Is there or is there not anything edible…

- on this menu?

- Gah!

[Gasps]

Hey, I didn’t ask him about dessert yet!

Hey, pal, what’s your policy on making special orders?

All right, buster, that’s it! You want a special order, then you make it! I quit!

Yeah, but l–

I try and I try, but there’s no respect for anyone with vision. That’s it! There’s just nothing I can do about it!

Please don’t go.

3 pork combos, extra bacon on the side, 2 chili cheese samplers, a basket of liver and onion rings, a catch of the day, and a steak cut in the shape of a trout. You got all that, honey?

3 oinkers wearing pants, plate of hot air, basket of grandma’s breakfast, and change the bull to a gill, got it.

What’s going on?

No time to explain. We gotta get out of here.

What is he doing in there?

Unh! Come on! In a minute. I’m still hungry.

No, Kuzco!

Ok, I’ll make it simple for you.

I’ll have a spinach omelet with wheat toast.

- You got it?

- Can do.

What’s taking so long?

Pickup!

Kronk! What are you doing?

Kinda busy here.

Yzma: Why am I not surprised?

Your order’s up!

Ohh!

Oh, well, while you’re at it, make me the special.

And hold the gravy!

Check. Pickup!

You know what? On second thought, make my omelet a meat pie.

Kronk: Meat pie Check

Kronk!

[Screech] Can I order the potatoes

as a side dish? I’ll have to charge you full price.

Ooh!

Hey, how about a side of potatoes, my buddy? You got it. Want cheese on those potatoes?

Thank you, Kronk. Cheddar will be fine.

Cheddar spuds coming up.

Spuds yes,

cheese no.

Hold the cheese.

Yzma: No, I want the cheese

Cheese me no like.

- Cheese out. - Cheese in!

Come on, make up your mind!

Ok, ok, on second thought…

Both: Make my potatoes a salad.

- [Slurp] - [Slurp]

Excuse me. You see that woman over there?

[Mumbling]

No problem, hon. We do that all the time.

Waiters: 1, 2, 3, 4 Happy, happy birthday From all of us to you We wish it was our birthday So we could party, too Happy, happy birthday May all your dreams come true Ha ha ha! It’s your birthday?

[Grunting] What are you doing?

Look, there’s 2 people in there looking for you.

What? A big guy and a skinny old woman.

Wait. Was this woman scary beyond all reason?

Oh, yeah.

That’s Yzma and Kronk! I’m saved!

Trust me, they’re not here to save you.

They’ll take me back to the palace. Thanks for your help. You’ve been great. I can take it from here.

You don’t understand. They’re trying to kill you. Kill me? Their whole world revolves around me.

No. I can’t let you!

What? Wha– Oh, I get it! What? You don’t want to take me back to the palace. You want to keep me stranded out here forever.

No! This has all been an act, and I almost fell for it.

Will you just listen to me–

No, no, you listen to me. All you care about is your stupid hilltop! What? You don’t care about me. Now, just get out of here. - Go!

- But–

Go on! Get outta here!

Fine! Hmph!

Oh, this entire mess is all your fault. What’d I do? If you hadn’t mixed up those poisons, Kuzco would be dead now! There’ll be no more diversions until we track that llama down and kill him!

Said I was sorry. Can’t just let it go. Not even on your birthday.

Yzma: Kuzco must be eliminated The empire will finally be rid of that useless slug

Kronk: You got a point Nobody really seems to care that he’s gone, do they?

Pacha!

Kuzco: Pacha? [Sighs] [Thundering] [Thunder]

Kuzco: So this is where you came in See, just like I said, I’m the victim here I didn’t do anything, and they ruined my life and took everything I had

Hey, give it a rest up there, will you?

What? Im just telling them what happened Who you kidding, pal?

They saw the whole thing, they know what happened.

Well, yeah, but Just leave me alone.

[Snoring]

[Gasps] The peasant at the diner! He didn’t pay his check.

[Snoring]

He’s the peasant who I saw leaving the city who disappeared into the crowd with Kuzco on the back of his cart. He must have taken him back to his village, so if we find the village, we find him, and if we find him, we find Kuzco. Oh, yeah, it’s all comin’ together.

Yzma!

What?!

Aah!

This had better be good!

[Birds Chirping] [Sighs] [Sniffs] [Gulp]

Yeech.

Pacha: So, there we were standing on the cliff, and the ground started to rumble And just as it started to go, he grabbed me before I fell Do you believe that? You know, call me crazy for following this guy all the way out here, but as much as he tries to deny it, I know there’s some good in him Besides, I couldn’t just leave him out here all alone. He’s a lousy llama. I mean, a really lousy llama.

Hey, listen, Pacha, you know, what I said to you back at the diner, that–that– I–I didn’t really…

So…you tired of being a llama?

[Sniffles] Ye-ee-ee-es! [Sniff]

Ok, we’re just gonna stop at the house and get some supplies.

- Then we’ll be on our way, right?

- Right.

Hey there, Pacha. You just missed your relatives. My relatives? We just sent them up to your house. What did they look like?

See, there was this big guy and this older woman who was…

How would you describe her?

Scary beyond all reason.

Yeah, that’s it.

So, remind me again how you’re related to Pacha?

Why, I’m his third cousin’s brother’s wife’s step-niece’s great-aunt. Heh heh. Twice removed. [Sips]

Uh-huh.

Isn’t that right, Kronk?

99 monkeys jumpin’ on the bed One fell off and bumped his head

You know, I am so sorry that you had to come all this way, but as I said to you before, you may recall, Pacha is not here. I’ll be sure and tell him you came by.

Oh, would you, please? That would be just great. Oops. Silly me.

No, no. Allow me.

She’s hiding something.

When I give the word, we search the house.

Ok, but I still have 94 monkeys to go.

Grr!

So, while we’re waiting for Paca–

Pacha.

Oh, yes.

Perhaps we can have a tour of your lovely home. You know, why don’t you just come back when Pacha gets home? I’m sure he’d love to show you the…

[Stammers]

Excuse me, won’t you? I think I left something in the oven. This is my variation of double-dutch. On the signal, we switch places. Kronk, it’s time! ok!

Ohh!

So, we have to get back to the palace, find the lab, and change him back.

Hi there!

Aah!

- That was him.

- Whoops.

You know what? I don’t believe you’re really my great-aunt. You’re more like my great-great-great…

Go. I’ll stall them long enough for you two to get a head start. Thanks, honey.

You have a lovely wife. They’re both very pretty.

Great-great- great…

Grr! All right! Are you through?

…great-great-aunt.

So, where were we?

Listen, sister, we’re not leaving until– I show you the house.

Of course.

Was it a good idea to leave your family with those two?

Oh, don’t worry. They can handle themselves.

What do you mean, the door is stuck?

Try jiggling the handle.

There is no handle in here.

There’s not? Are you sure?

All right, I’ve had enough of this.

Tell us where the talking llama is and we’ll burn your house to the ground.

Uh, don’t you mean “or”?

[Sighs] Tell us where the talking llama is or we’ll burn your house to the ground.

Well, which is it? That seems like a pretty crucial conjunction.

That’s it!

Kronk, break the door down!

Break it down? Are you kidding me? This is hand-carved mahogany.

I don’t care, you fool.

Get out of my way. I’ll break it down myself. Yzma: A-one

Ok, kids, you know what to do.

Right, Mom!

3! Aah!

Ok, children, on your mark, get set, go!

[Giggling] Ow! Ow! Stop it, you little brats! Huh?

Yzma: Ow! Oh, there they go, Kronk! They’re getting away!

Ha ha ha! Well, I had a great time. Let’s not wait until the next family reunion to get together.

Yzma: Kronk! I, uh, I gotta run. [Thunder] [Thunder]

Ok, why does she even have that lever?

[Yelps]

Skull: Please remain seated and keep your arms and legs in at all times

Aah!

Huh?

What does it look like? I don’t know. Just keep looking.

Over here! It has to be one of these.

Lions, tigers, bears…

Yzma: Oh, my Looking for this?

No! It can’t be! How did you get back here before us?

Uh…how did we, Kronk? Well, you got me.

By all accounts, it doesn’t make sense.

Oh, well, back to business.

Ok, I admit it. Maybe I wasn’t as nice as I should have been, but, Yzma, do you really want to kill me?

Just think of it as you’re being let go, that your life’s going in a different direction, that your body’s part of a permanent outplacement.

Hey, that’s kind of like what he said to you when you got fired.

I know. It’s called a cruel irony– like my dependence on you.

I can’t believe this is happening!

Then I bet you weren’t expecting this

- No! - Aah!

Aha!

[Sighs]

Oh, ok. Ha ha!

Finish them off.

Kronk devil: Hey, you’re not backing down now, are you, big guy?

Uh, where’s the other guy?

Yo! Sorry I’m late. So, what’d I miss?

Well, Yzma just tossed me this knife and asked me to, you know, take them out. Then this guy popped up and we waited for you, and quite honestly–

Kronk! Why did I think you could do this? This one simple thing. It’s like I’m talking to a monkey.

Whoa now. A really, really big stupid monkey named Kronk!

Ouch.

And do you want to know something else? I’ve never liked your spinach puffs. Never!

[Sobs]

That’s it. She’s going down.

Now, now, remember, guys. From above, the wicked shall receive their just reward.

All: That’ll work.

Strange. That usually works.

And so does this!

Ah. Should have seen that coming.

Whoa!

Aah!

Give me that vial!

Oof!.

Ah! Ha ha!

Aah!

Oops. Clumsy me.

Yzma: Which one? Which one?

[Alarm Sounds]

Better hurry I’m expecting company Yzma: Kill them! They murdered the emperor!

No, wait! I’m the emperor! It’s me–Kuzco!

They’re not listening to me! Just take 'em all!

- Yaah! - Yaah!

Get them!

Hey, I’ve been turned into a cow. Can I go home?

You’re excused.

Anyone else?

All: No, we’re good.

Get them!

We’ve gotta change you back.

Try this one.

Uh, Pacha?

A little help!

[Screech] [Yelling]

Come on! Come on!

Kuzco: Aah!

Oh, please be something with wings.

Yeah! We’re flyin’! Uh-oh!

[Guards Yelling]

We’re not getting anywhere with you picking the vials. I’m picking the next one!

Fine by me!

Give me that one!

Don’t you say a word.

- Aah! - Aah!

Quick!

Drain the canals!

Pacha: Open up!

Yay! I’m a llama again! Wait…

[Blorp] - Aah! - Aah!

There they go! After them!

Come on, men! Nobody lives forever! Charge! Guards: Aah!

Grr!

Aah!

Ok, only 2 left. It’s gotta be one of these.

No!

Ha ha ha ha! Ah ha ha ha ha! Meow.

I’ll take that.

This is the one. This’ll change you back to a human.

Ow! Hey, get her off!. Whoa!

Kuzco: Get her off me!

[Yzma Snarling] Aah! Ow!

[Groans]

Drink the potion!

Ok, ok! Aah!

Where did it go? Where is it?

Yzma:[Squeaky] Looking for this? Is that my voice? [Coughs] Is that my voice? Oh, well.

No! Don’t drop it! I’m not going to drop it, you fool! I’m going to drink it!

And once I turn back into my beautiful self, I’m going to kill you! Ha ha ha! [Grunting] Aah! Aah! Uh-oh.

Yzma: Aah! Aah! Aah! Aah!

Uhh! Whoa! Uhh! Oh-oh-oh!

Kuzco!

Be right there! Give me a minute!

Uhh! Uhh! Uhh!

Kuzco! Whoa!

Pacha:Kuzco!

Aah!

Oh.

The vial!

Aah!

For the last time, we did not order a giant trampoline.

You know, pal, you could have told me that before I set it up.

Aah!

Aah! Uhh–

Huh?

Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha ha! Hoo hoo hee hee ha ha ha–

Pacha: The vial!

You thinkin’ what I’m thinkin’? Ah ha ha ha ha! I win.

Whoa.

Got it!

What are the odds ofthat trapdoor leading me out here?

Yeah!

Uhh. [Clears Throat] Here, uh, let me get this for you.

Well, see ya on the other side.

Old man: Oh, now, you–you you stop being so hard on yourself. All is forgiven.

You’re sure? Oh, it’s not the first time I was tossed out a window, and it won’t be the last. What can I say? I’m a rebel.

Whoa-ho-ho, tiger. Oh! Hey, I got to use that arm later. Ok, buddy, take care. Ha ha. Ah, he’s a sweet guy.

Kuzco: So, you lied to me

I did?

Yeah. You said when the sun hits this ridge just right, these hills sing. Well, pal, I was dragged all over those hills, and I did not hear any singing.

Kuzco:So I’ll be building my summer home on a more magical hill.

Thank you.

Hmm. Couldn’t pull the wool over your eyes, huh?

No, no, I’m sharp, I’m on it. Looks like you and your family are stuck on that tuneless hill top forever, pal.

You know, I’m pretty sure I heard some singing on the hill next to us. In case you’re interested.

[Chirping] Ha! Boom, baby!

Ha! Boom, baby!

Theme song guy: You’d be the coolest dude In the nation Or the hippest cat in creation But if you ain’t got friends, then nothing’s worth the fuss A perfect world will come to be When everybody here can see That a perfect world begins and ends A perfect world begins and ends A perfect world begins and ends with us

“ My acorn is missing.”

Squeak squeakin’ squeak squeakity.

“ Did you eat the acorn?”

Squeaker squeak squeak squeakin’?

“You owe me a new acorn.”

Squeak squeak squeak squeak squeaker–

Squeakin’.

I’m so proud of you guys.