#i like when laurie gets silly with it <3< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[natjennie]

new meme format maybe

[amarimeta]

rip hbo nora durst you would have loved the chance to abandon kevin at a fancy restaurant on valentines day after he breaks down crying because he just heard from tommy for the first time in eight months...

[itsjaywalkers]

for the prompt game: ROSEKILLER 57 WITH BOXER AU IVE BEEN WAITING MY WHOLE LIFE FOR THIS MOMENT……….. (also i hope you’re having a fun day off laurie hi hi 🥺🤍)

HI HI SAINTS BELOVED <333 i actually didn't get the day off bc i'm an idiot and i couldn't say no when my coworker asked me to change shifts.. but at least i got home before 10pm which . is unusual for me lmao . and today's shift was actually kinda fun so !!

anyways, hope you're having a lovely day and that u enjoy this silly lil thing <3 first peek into boxer au rosekiller <3 (i went a bit overboard but they've been plaguing my mind and u don't deserve less)

57. "Teach me to fight."

It's been more than half an hour of hitting the punching bag nonstop when Barty finally decides to take a break. It's not even because he's actually tired, despite the sweat he can already feel dripping down his back and his face. It's because his bad shoulder—the right one—dislocated during the last combination he tried, and after Barty puts it back in place, he's gotta wait a little bit before going back to training.

This happens way too often for comfort, but it's not really painful anymore—it never really was, or maybe Barty has simply dealt with much worse. Besides, the longer he ignores it, the more serious it'll get, which means he'll have an excuse to go get another check-up.

His manager already warned him when he first got the injury after that stupid fight with stupid Potter. Barty began to grow restless during recovery time, and then decided his shoulder was fine when it stopped hurting.

Obviously, he was wrong. Except, it only dislocates when he goes too hard, and he's learnt how to put it back in place without issue, so really, technically, he was sort of right. What does his manager know, anyway? As long as Barty continues winning and putting money in that fucker's pocket, there shouldn't be any complaints.

He pulls up his tank top and dries off some of the sweat on his neck and the side of his face, while rolling his shoulder gently, testing the waters before he goes back to punching, when the hairs at his nape begin to stand up.

There's no noise, no sudden sounds. Barty doesn't hear the door opening, or closing, and yet, when he turns around, smirk already pulling at his lips, he isn't surprised to find someone standing right behind him.

"Hey, Rosie," he greets the other man, who blinks at him, completely deadpan. "I didn't know you were still around. Long shift today?"

"Yes, you did," Evan responds, that cool tone of his sending a pleasing chill down Barty's spine. "Know, that is. I'm pretty sure you've got my schedule memorised."

Barty takes a few moments to drop the hem of his shirt, because he notices the way in which Evan's gaze drops to his stomach and stays there for a handful of seconds. His expression doesn't change, there isn't even a flicker of something in his face, but the attention is more than enough for him.

"Well, you left your email open and your laptop in my near vicinity." Barty shrugs, eyes running up and down Evan's body. He's still wearing that sexy white coat of his, the shirt underneath it perfectly buttoned and tucked inside his jeans.

There's barely any skin showing, because Evan is a little weirdo, but there's some ankle peeking, since the pants are ridiculously tight on him and the legs keep riding up slightly.

Honestly, it's like he's doing it on purpose. Barty can't be blamed if he ends up hard under his sweats. He can already feel some blood rushing south just at the sight of that tiny sliver of soft brown skin.

"And you downloaded my rotas?" Evan guesses, tilting his head to the side.

"Nah," Barty says, crossing his arms over his chest, flexing a little. "Didn't have to. I've got a damn good memory. I read over them for a couple of minutes until they stuck."

Evan nods, not fazed in the slightest.

"That's why you only come in when I'm on shift," Evan states, and it's not a question. He doesn't seem surprised, or freaked out, but then again, he barely shows any emotions. Apart from irritation, that is, and that one's reserved for when Barty is being especially pushy. Or especially horny.

"I don't think I've ever seen any of the other nurses a single time in my life," Barty tells him with a chuckle.

"You have," Evan retorts, and his eyes narrow the tiniest bit. Barty feels a pull in his stomach. "You were talking to Betty three weeks ago, after your match against Black. The bad one. You let her check your shoulder."

Barty lets out an incredulous laugh, not sure on where to focus first, going dizzy with how badly he wants this freak of a man.

He's obsessed with the way in which Evan always seems to get the urge to clarify which Black he's talking about, as if it's not obvious, considering only one of them fights. How he's always so precise, never allowing any ambiguity into his sentences. How almost nothing seems to hold his focus apart from his experiments and medicine and his patients' injuries, and yet, here he is, remembering when Barty talked to someone else momentarily.

"Did I?" Barty asks innocently, biting the inside of his cheek to keep his shit-eating grin at bay.

"Yes," Evan responds, a little furrow appearing between his eyebrows. "She was touching you."

"Was she?" The corners of Barty's mouth are twitching so much he's sure he must look like an absolute maniac.

"Yes," Evan repeats, some exasperation slipping into his voice. "She wasn't even doing it right. She kept kneading the muscle in the same place, instead of checking the ligament, and she did this for more than five minutes, even though it takes seconds to find out about a dislocation—"

"Rosie," Barty cuts him off gently, watching, with no little amount of delight, how Evan's frown worsens. "I didn't even know her fucking name. I couldn't give less of a fuck about stupid Betty, or whatever the hell she's called."

Evan blinks slowly. "But you—"

"I was tired and sore after that match, my shoulder was bothering me, and she was there. My manager told her to check my shoulder, just in case I had fucked it up beyond solution, but if I had known you were around she wouldn't have laid a single finger on me."

There's a beat of silence, Evan's dead eyes searching all over Barty's face, assessing and determined. He smirks at him, which results in Evan huffing and looking away.

"Don't do it again," it's what he ends up mumbling, and if Barty didn't know any better, he'd dare to say Evan is close to pouting. "You're my patient."

Barty raises both eyebrows, a deranged smile splitting his face while he perks up like a goddamn dog. "Is that jealousy I'm hearing, Rosie?"

"No," Evan drawls, straightening up. "It's just the truth. You're not my only patient, you know? But if you're getting treated by me, then you're not allowed to see any other nurses."

"Damn, way to make a man feel special," Barty scoffs, but he does actually kind of mean it. Which he's aware might be a bit pathetic, but, well, he'll be whatever the fuck Evan wants him to. "Wasn't interested in seeing any other nurses, anyway."

"Good." Evan nods, almost to himself, and Barty has to make an active effort not to coo. "Are you done training?"

Barty blinks a couple of times, slightly taken aback, both by the sudden change of topic and by Evan entertaining conversation. Normally, talking to the other boy feels like pulling teeth—oh, man, Rosie would fucking love this comparison—which Barty doesn't mind because he finds it incredibly fun. Unless Evan is going on one of his medical rants, and yeah, Barty shouldn't find it as attractive as he does, but it's not like he's ever worked like he's supposed to.

But this? This is new.

"Not really," Barty answers, still feeling off-kilter. He shakes his head, forcibly pulling himself out of his mind. "Why? You wanna join me, Rosie?"

"As a matter of fact, I do."

Barty snorts, assuming that it's a joke, even though he's more than aware that Evan doesn't do jokes, because his humour is way too dark, and rarely finds funny what others do. But Evan's expression doesn't change, and Barty nearly chokes on his own spit.

"Wait, you're serious?"

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"You've never been interested in boxing," Barty points out.

"That's a lie. I watch every match," Evan argues, lips pursed.

"Because you're job kind of forces you to."

"Also a lie. I need to be there when I'm on shift, in case they call for me, but I'm not required to actually watch."

"Yeah, but you still do, because your pretty little morbid head goes absolutely feral at the prospect of seeing some blood."

Evan scrunches his nose, as if disgusted.

"You're wrong," Evan lies, expression giving absolutely nothing away. Really, if Barty didn't already know the truth, he'd be inclined to believe him. "It's got nothing to do with that. I like boxing."

Barty huffs, the noise filled with amusement. "Sure you do, Rosie."

"I really do," Evan insists, always so ridiculously stubborn.

"I don't know who you're trying to convince, but—"

"Teach me to fight."

Barty sputters, brows almost reaching his hairline, and he gapes at Evan, who's still staring at him. He seems unaffacted by Barty's dramatics, but then again, he's unaffected by almost everything.

"The fuck?" he manages to spit out at some point.

"Teach me to fight," Evan says again, a lot slower, as if Barty is some kind of idiot. God, he wans to fucking devour him.

Barty isn't sure of what's going on right now. Evan barely interacts with him outside of their appointments, it's always him reaching out, so he doesn't understand what prompted this. What Evan is hoping to achieve.

"Why?"

"I told you, I like boxing."

"Yeah, okay. And the real reason?"

Evan's tongue pushes against the inside of his cheek, and it's so, so hard for Barty, not to make a very inappropriate joke.

"I'm testing something," he admits, albeit bedgrugingly.

"Ah, so you want me to be your guinea pig," Barty sighs a bit dreamily. "That sounds more like it."

"Sure," Evan agrees with unsurprising ease. "Will you?"

"All you had to do was ask, Rosie."

They get to work right after that. Barty doesn't even bother with suggesting a change of clothes, because he's aware of how well that'd be received. The fact that Evan chooses to take the white coat off is already more than Barty expected.

He tries to show him how to stand, how to do a basic punch. Evan knows most of the basic theory, mostly due to how often he deals with boxing injuries, but he's absolutely helpless when he has to act it out himself.

It doesn't matter how often Barty corrects him; he keeps slouching, stance all wonky. He lacks strength, and he takes a bit too long to protect his face after doing a jab.

The main issue, though, is his obvious lack of interest.

Evan seems to be distracted by something, too inside his own head, and when Barty is about to point this out, poke some fun at him in hopes of getting Evan to snap, the other man speaks again.

"That's enough," he declares, tone leaving no place for argument. "Let's spar."

Barty chuckles, disbelieving, but then Evan is sending a glare his way, and he raises both hands in mock surrender, giving in immediately.

He'll do pretty much whatever the fuck Evan wants him to, really.

They both get into position, and regardless of how much Barty is holding back, trying to give the other man a chance, is actually kind of laughable, how easily he overcomes him.

One moment they're exchanging soft blows, and the next Barty has Evan pinned to the floor, his legs and arms completely immobilised as Barty grins maniacally from above.

"Happy now, Rosie?" he teases.

Evan presses his mouth in a tight line. "Not quite."

"Oh, really? Because I'm starting to think this was all a ruse to get me on top of you."

Evan rolls his eyes so hard Barty worries they might get stuck inside his skull. "I'm afraid that's more your style. And anyway, I don't think it's wise to understimate your opponent like this."

"It's nothing personal, Rosie, but when victory is already mine, I—"

Barty never gets to finish. Evan raises his head so quickly his brain barely registers it, and then he's sinking his teeth hard where Barty's neck meets his shoulder. Until he breaks skin, until he draws blood, until Barty lets out a pained groan and his body goes slack, more in surprise than actual hurt.

A moment later, their positions are reversed. Evan is straddling him, mouth still attached to his skin, and Barty is lying on the cold ground, dizzy and a little bit breathless.

He doesn't know how long they stay like this—definitely not enough—but after a while, Evan lets go and sits up a little, lips stained red. It's dripping down his chin, and when he parts his mouth a little, panting softly, Barty finds out that his teeth are also crimson with blood. With his blood.

Barty groans again.

"You're hard," Evan comments, painfully nonchalant. It's that same casualness he used the first time Barty had an erection during an appointment, after Evan had pulled at the stitches on his leg and stuck his fingers inside Barty's wound.

"Yeah," he breathes out, half-delirious. "Yeah, no shit."

Evan hums, cocking his head to the side, analytical gaze running up and down Barty's body and making him twitch in his pants. The fact that Evan can feel it right under him, between his legs, forces Barty to swallow down a moan.

Barty is about to say something incredibly stupid to maybe, hopefully, alleviate the tension, when Evan leans down once more; this time, slower, more careful.

He's prepared to feel the sting of a bite again, toes curling in excitement, but it never comes. Instead, there's something wet and tentative and soft lapping at the open wound, gathering all the blood there that is still coming out.

It takes Barty a moment to realise it's Evan's tongue.

The knowledge hits Barty like a motherfucking bus. He can't stop a low moan from coming out now, or his hips from thrusting up, searching for something, anything, that Evan might give him.

Surprisingly, and instead of pulling away, the other man makes an odd noise against his skin, and Barty thinks he's imagining it when Evan presses down on him.

He freezes up after that, but only for a second, Evan's licking never stopping. But then Barty moves again, more purposefully, rubbing his erection against the apex of Evan's thighs.

The response is immediate, although definitely unconscious. Evan grinds back experimentally, with no coordination or finesse, dropping another sound into Barty's bleeding wound.

His eyes widen when his brain finally catches up properly, hands coming up to grab at Evan's hips and halt his movements.

"Rosie, are you..." Barty stops, swallows harshly. "Are you turned on right now?"

Evan laps at the blood a few more times before straightening up again, staring down at Barty with unblinking eyes and red all over his face.

"Fuck, are you—?" A laugh, strained and bordering on hysterical. "Are you wet?" He doesn't even need to check to know the answer.

Evans nods, almost imperceptibly. "Apparently so."

He has half a mind to turn them over and fuck Evan into the floor. Until Evan is a whimpering mess. Until he's crying, begging, unable to do anything but fucking take it. Until he's sore, and hurt, and full, but still asking for more. Until he can't say anything else apart from Barty's name, until he's—

"Bloody hell," Barty whispers, shutting his eyes tight and letting out another cackle.

Oh, he's going to die. He's absolutely going to fucking die.

[chrisbbygyal]

Tennesse Whiskey

Pairing: Ari Levinson x Black!reader

Warnings: Slight angst, future smut (Just not this part), Swearing, size kink??, 18+ minors dni

A/N: First fic, hope you guys like! I'm open to criticism and I kind of suck at writing so please let me know how I can improve! I wanted to have this up as soon as possible so Ya'll have something you can read.

Read pt. 2:

Word count: 2.5k

You were tired. Tired of everything around you, your miserable boyfriend who you knew was cheating on you but had no evidence of it. Well besides the lipgloss on his collared shirts and him coming home smelling like a cheap Bath and Body Works spray. You couldn’t exactly put your finger on it but you thought it was their Japanese Cherry Blossom scent. That old bitch. You thought to yourself, you never knew Jake to like older women. You huffed as you shut the engine of your Ford pickup off, it was cherry red and while it was an old car, it was your baby. The first car your grandparents gave you actually, right before you left to move to Jake’s hometown right in the middle of nowhere Georgia. You had a promising career before this, all of your family would constantly tell you, “Oh she’s going places,” “Her future's so bright.” and it was until you met Jake. You were bright eyed and bushy tailed when you met him and he just knew how to suck that joy and light right out of you.  A neon sign flashed above your head. “3 Drunk Bears Pub,” you knew you had told Hursh to fix that sign but he never wanted to spend the money for it. ‘3 Drunk Bears’ was your current job and while it wasn’t what you wanted to do with your life, Hursh the owner understood your situation and immediately let you join the team after you told him you were saving enough up to move back to Washington state. So this was your life now, bartending at a small pub to leave your bum of a boyfriend behind. As you walked closer to the building you heard the music through the doors, it was smooth and mellow, the type of music you loved. Whoever was in control of the jukebox had good taste, you thought. The door chimed open and you were immediately greeted by Hursh standing behind the bar wiping the counter. Looking around you took notice that there were only a few customers tonight, which was odd since it was a Friday night before a big football game the next day. You walked around and pushed through the cafe door at the bottom of the counter. 

 “Y/N! How ya’ doin tonight honey bun?” his southern accent rang out. It made you smile wide. Even if your life was shit, Hursh and his family were a little bit of a light at the end of the tunnel. 

“Hursh, I told you to stop calling me honey bun,” you warned playfully before smiling back, “I’m fine though! How’s Laurie and the little ones?” His face immediately lit up at the mention of his growing family. Laurie was his wife and they had 3 kids and one on the way. You always made fun of them because all of their children were under the age of 5. In fact when Laurie came by to tell you the news during a day shift your first response was to slap Hursh with a towel and yell “Stay off of her!” repeatedly until he slipped on the freshly mopped floor. Hursh’s voice snapped you out of your thoughts.

 “They’re fine! Laurie’s tired of being pregnant and my two youngest are learning their ABCs! My oldest is getting ready to start pre-k next fall!” You smiled in response and then his smile dropped, “Listen Y/N I- I know you hate working the bar and you have been the ONLY one working it these last few shifts, but I ain’t got no one else tonight. Y’know Curtis would pitch a fit, that asswipe, and you know the girl’s that wait tables don’t know how to do shit. I told Laurie about hiring them and she didn’t listen-” 

 “I’ll do it Hursh, it’s fine,” you interrupted, sighing. Hursh released a breath. He hugged you from the side and kissed your head. 

“You are a doll honey bun! I owe you one!” he spoke before disappearing into the back door where the kitchen was. You grumbled to yourself about how much he would end up owing you.  

You looked up to the digital clock in the back of the bar, 12:15 A.M, You rolled your eyes, the neon lights from the clock glared back at you. The bar was still dead besides the few regulars and a group of obnoxious guys in the corner who were off their ass. But there was someone in the far dark corner of the bar who was sitting quietly. He hadn’t ordered anything and he’d been here for over an hour at this point. Whoever it was, you could tell that he was big, but you just couldn’t see his face and it was consistently pointed downwards under a baseball cap he was sporting. Hursh poked his head out of the back, “Hey doll, a big bar got shut down in the city of downtown, expect a bunch of drunk college kids here soon. Also tell the people at the bar if they aren’t gonna order anything, they needa’ get lost. Remember, ya’ only get tips if they buy somethin’.” You rolled your eyes at him before making your way towards the man in the corner. 

 “Uh, excuse me sir, I don’t mean to be rude or anything but my boss said that if you aren’t gonna order something, I’ve got to ask you to leave,” You spoke trying to seem as tough as possible. The man lifted his head before reaching around and pulling off his baseball cap which let you get a good look at his face. He had a full beard that wrapped completely around his jaw and it was thick. His eyes were a stark blue and absolutely gorgeous, and his hair, oh his hair was amazing, thick and shaggy but perfect. Your breath caught in your throat as he smiled at you. Ari thought you were perfect, just the right size. He found your height so cute and he wouldn’t mind toting you around on his arm.

“That’s alright, I was just waitin’ on ya’ to make ya’ way over to me. Not from around here, not so sure how bars work in Georgia. I’ll have whiskey, straight please, sweet cheeks,” he spoke, his voice was like velvet and it made your knees wobble. You smiled tightly and nodded, you would’ve spoken back but you were nervous that your words would get stuck in your throat. You poured his drink before going back over to him and sliding it his way. “Thanks sweet cheeks. You’re gorgeous by the way, the name’s Ari. Ari Levinson.” You smiled awkwardly before responding. 

“Y/N Y/L/N.” In order to avoid his blue eyes you looked down towards the counter and picked at the same stain that you had been trying to get off for the past two months. He smirked at that, automatically realizing his effect on you. The door chimed open and the whooping of college students filled the calm pub. While you were excited that you could finally leave the hot air that had crowded the two of you, college rushes almost guaranteed that you would basically be harassed by the horny college students. 

 “Aye sexy mama! Bring big daddy a beer!” you heard someone yell from the other side of the bar. Oh, you just knew that they were going to work your last nerve tonight and it was just 12. 

Dipping into the cooler beneath the counter you grab a beer and walk to the other side of the bar before handing the man a drink with a tight-lipped smile and moving on to help the other customers. 

Ari watched you float from one end to the bar to the other, occasionally looking in his direction. You knew he was watching you and it made Ari smile. He wanted you to know he wanted you. Ari watched your hips sway and took notice of how nice your ass looked in those black jeans. It almost made him groan out loud. 

“Aye Sexy I need anotha’’ beer over here!” The same man from earlier shouted. This was his 4th beer and Ari was watching him closely. Everytime he asked for another beer, he would try to grab you or he would say something out of the way and it was pissing Ari off. He watched you visibly cringed as you walked the 4th beer over to the noticeably drunk college student. When you went to hand it to him, Ari had seen enough. The fucker had the nerve to grab your head and bring it to his mouth before kissing it. Ari knew it made you uncomfortable without even seeing your face, he just saw the subtle way your body tensed up and shuddered uncomfortably when the man stood up to whisper something in your ear. Ari threw the last bit of his whiskey back before slamming the cup down and making his way towards the man on the other end of the bar. 

“Get your fucking hands off the pretty lady,” He stated calmly, looming over the man who just then noticed Ari’s presence. He let go of your hand and only then did Ari notice you rub the area where his grip was, even with your skin tone, it was beet red which made Ari snarl. The man looked up at Ari with a bored look.

“You must be the slut’s man,huh? Tell me something, is she as good in bed as she looks, I mean with that behind you must be putting in real wor-” The man was cut off when Ari grabbed his head and slammed him into the wooden bar. He made a garbled noise before Ari lifted his head back up and punched him twice before kicking him in the calf making his knees give out. You and the other patrons could only watch. Some of the college boys were yelling and the other customers watched with hands over their mouths, but no one dared to jump in. See, Ari was a large man, had to be at least 6 '4 and he was a large boy, his nickname as a child was actually “Bear” and no one dared to mess with him or his 2 older brothers. He was brooding but a sweetheart and that’s why his mother opted to redoing his nickname as teddy, but only she could call him that, him being a certified mama’s boy.  The door slammed open and Hursh walked out with a pistol.

“What the hell is goin’ on out hea’? Everybody out!” He screamed, taking the safety off of the gun. All of the patrons got the hint immediately, everyone in town knowing Hursh wasn’t one to play around. Ari stopped and dropped the man onto the ground, and once you did, you had never seen someone run so fast out of that bar before. 

“Hursh I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to-” you tried to reason, feeling bad because he had lost all of his customers.

“Don’t worry about it honey bun get home safe, and you,” he pointed to Ari, who was now fixing the collar of his flannel and smoothing the rest of his clothes, “You ever need a job as a security guard, I’m your guy, but please don’t destroy my bar.” Hursh winked at you before yelling to the other workers that they were free to go. You grabbed your purse not sparing a glance at Ari, and walked out of the pub as quickly as you could, Ari following you. Making your way through the vacated parking lot to your pick up, you took notice to the sound of Ari behind you. Once you made it to your truck you turned around and stopped him.

“Look Ari, I appreciate the help but if you expect anything in return for saving my ass in there you are sadly mistaken, I’m not that kind of girl,” You spoke, poking a long nail into his chest. Your heart fell to your ass when he started laughing, it wasn’t a chuckle nor a giggle, but a full on belly laugh, he even doubled over and slapped his knee. 

“I don’t want nothin’ mama, just wantin’ to make sure you got to your car safe,” he said once his laughter had subsided. You fought the urge to smile at him, before you put back up your facade. 

“Well I’m here, so you’re good.” You opened the door of the pick up and hopped in putting the key into the ignition. Ari stood there still watching you. You turned the key, nothing. You turned it again and it spluttered, nothing. Again, nothing. You hit the steering wheel, “Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!” Ari knocked on the window. 

“Needa’ ride mama?” He smiled before pulling your car door open and leading you to his Jeep on the other side of the parking lot. 

That’s how you got here, pulling down the street where Jake’s house was located while some mellow 80s song played lowly in the background. “I’m sorry about tonight, mama, I just don’t take too kindly to disrespecting women, I would kill someone if that ever happened to my little sister,” Ari broke the silence, slowing down to the house you had pointed to and pulling into the driveway. You smiled kindly at him.

“Sorry for being a bitch about it, I appreciate you for standing up for me,” You spoke back, letting silence fill the car again. He turned off the ignition and you went to open the door before you saw something. Jake was stumbling down the steps of the front porch of the house. You could tell he had been drinking. “I just can’t win,” You let out, exasperated. 

“This your boyfriend?” He said, watching Jake closely. You nodded and slapped your forehead, watching as Jake made his way to the car. You opened the door before Ari could protest  and hopped out. 

“This the dude you’ve been cheating on me with, you slut?” Jake asked as he walked closer to you.           “Oh shut the fuck up Jake you’ve been cheating on me for FOREVER now! Plus I just met this man, I’m not you! Calling me a slut is like the pot calling the kettle black You grade A asshole,” You spat trying to make your way into the house. Jake ran behind you and tried to grab onto your hair but he missed and you turned around and slapped him before he got the chance to hit you. “Fuck you Jake! Fuck you!” You turned back to Ari’s Jeep and walked towards it as Jake stood there and held his face. 

“You know you can’t get rid of me bitch! I’m all you’ve ever known!” Jake yelled as he stumbled back towards the house. You turned and flicked him off before swinging Ari’s door open and hopping back in.

“Ari I don’t care where you take me, just get me the hell away from here,” you said as you gritted your teeth. Ari smiled at you.

“Don’t gotta ask me twice mama!” He winked at you before putting the car in reverse and backing out of the driveway.

[princesssarisa]

3, 5, 6, and 7 for Little Women please 😊

3. Quickly list 3 things you like about the story.

4. Do you have a favorite character? Who? It's a tossup between Jo and Beth. Jo I like for the obvious reasons that nearly everyone loves her: she's lively, dynamic, three-dimensional, funny, inspiring, etc. Not to mention I personally relate to her as a passionate-natured, socially awkward writer. Beth I like because I relate to her as a person on the autism spectrum, I think she's more human and dimensional than she gets credit for being, and her storyline is largely about the value of easily-overlooked people like herself (i.e. like me).

6. Do you have a LEAST favorite character? Who? It's hard to say. Apart from minor antagonist characters, there's no one I really dislike. Of the major characters, my least favorite is probably Aunt March, since she is unpleasant so much of the time; though of course there's a lot of good in her too, and her bitterness is most likely caused by the loss of her husband and daughter.

7. How does the story compare to your initial impressions of it? Has it surprised you yet? How? It's surprised me in many ways.

** My first impression from pop culture was that it was mainly the story of Jo, with her sisters as supporting characters; yet while Jo gets slightly more focus than the others, the truth is that all four March sisters are co-protagonists with interesting storylines and personal growth of their own.

** I had heard it was very "preachy," which in some ways it is; but its liveliness, humanity, well-rounded characters, and blend of humor and poignancy do a great job of compensating for the preachy aspects, and its has much less of a rigid message of "how to be a good girl" than I expected.

** I thought Meg was just the pretty, conventional sister who gets married midway through and has kids; I found that she's a very human, interesting character in her own right, whose viewpoint chapters have unexpected humor and valuable messages, especially the ones after her marriage.

** I thought Beth was just a one-dimensional saint, too good for this earth, who only exists to die for the sake of Jo's personal growth; I found that she's a fleshed-out, believable character, if slightly idealized, who has personal growth of her own.

** I thought Laurie was just the "dreamy boy next door," who first loves Jo, then loves Amy; I found that he's a dynamic, flawed yet sympathetic, three-dimensional character, whom I relate to almost as much as I do to Jo and Beth, and whose behavior while he's in love with Jo is childish, inappropriate, unromantic, and thankfully outgrown in the end.

** I thought Professor Bhaer was a dull, stodgy love interest who criticizes Jo's writing and whose presence in the story stifles her; I found that he's a lovely, likable character and a genuinely great match for Jo, and who doesn't criticize her writing, but gently dissuades her from writing in a genre that she doesn't like either but only writes for money.

** As for Amy, at first I thought she was just a silly, snobby girl who eventually learns to be a better person. Then, thanks to online defenses of her, I thought she was a wonderful, lovable character, unfairly maligned just because she's girly and marries Laurie. But when I actually read the book, my viewpoint was neither. I found that she's a complex character, understandably divisive and not my personal favorite, but very interesting and likable in many ways.

** The only character who was all that pop culture made me expect her to be was Marmee, just as loving, gently strong, and wise a mother and mentor as I assumed. Though I was slightly surprised by how freely she shares her vulnerabilities with her daughters; I thought she would mask them more, but I'm glad she doesn't.

[ralphlanyon]

TC tag game

Tagged by @spudodell!

Rules: Answer the questions and tag other TC fans!

1. "He would not fucking say that" only they did and it's canon. When/who?

Not that they're necessarily out of character, but whenever Renault is clearly projecting her own internalized misogyny onto the characters (e.g. Laurie calling Nurse Adrian a "silly little dumbbell" at one point or the narrative voice commenting on Aunt Olive's lack of makeup), I am like

(Granted, her other contemporary novels that actually feature female protagonists are even worse about this… 🫠)

2. Did they kiss in the study? Yes/no + why you are 100% correct about this.

Yes, absolutely! I previously wrote this meta about why I think so here. But here are a few more reasons:

"Over and over, during those first months, Laurie had relived the scene in the study, guarding it with fierce secrecy as a savage guards a magic word." It would be quite odd for Laurie to constantly relive that last meeting with Ralph and guard it with "fierce secrecy," if Ralph had done nothing more than chastise him, give him an old book, and turn him out of his study. So something intimate must have happened there that Laurie still obsessively thinks about.

The infamous ellipsis after "Come here a moment" was deliberately added to the 1959 edition (one of the only additions Renault makes, rather than subtractions), which I think is probably to help clarify the significance of that pause.

Laurie's proprietary behavior towards Ralph at the party, especially him staking claim of Ralph in front of Bim (and frankly a lot of about Laurie's behavior towards Ralph in general), makes a lot more sense if they had a "moment" together in the past and both of them never got over it or each other. It would help explain why Laurie instinctively feels he does have a claim over Ralph (as the Odysseus to Ralph's Penelope, to use Bim's analogy), as well as why Ralph continues to carry a torch for him after seven years and countless other relationships.

3. Mandatory question about Ralph's alleged tattoos.

To be honest I don't think he has any tattoos yet (or at least any in areas that would be normally exposed to the public), or else Laurie would have commented on them like he comments on just about everything else about Ralph's appearance. I could see him getting some in the future though, maybe some nautical-themed ones and probably at least one related to Laurie because he's sentimental like that.

4. 53 vs 59 edition: quote a line or paragraph that is better in the edition you like the least.

I generally prefer reading the '53 edition mainly for the extra bits, but there are several stylistic writing choices I do prefer in the '59 edition. One of them is Ralph telling Laurie, "I didn't think you had that much bitchery in you." He says "cattiness" in the '53 edition, but Laurie is very bitchy (and Ralph likes that about him!).

5. Which TC character would feel right at home here on tumblr dot com?

Bim or Sandy! They would be bringing the tea. ☕️

6. Tag yourself at Alec's birthday party.

Probably part of the couple holding hands in dead silence, lol.

7. Post a TC meme.

I have a lot of memes in my TC tag, but here's one I made a while ago:

8. Easy to talk about who deserved better. Who deserved worse?

Dave because he bores me (the worst thing a literary character can do). Also Ralph's parents and Jeepers.

9. You can break the fourth wall (at any point in the novel) and say a single sentence to our protagonist, Laurie Odell. What do you say?

"You are intensely afraid of abandonment which is why you keep trying to leave people before they can leave you. (Please go to therapy.)"

10. What's a question you have about TC? One you haven't found an answer for yet.

What do Laurie and Ralph do for their post-war careers? There have been several excellent ideas in post-canon fics, but I haven’t quite settled on my own headcanon for them.

Tagging: not sure who hasn’t been tagged yet, but feel free to nab if you see this!

[rzyraffek]

Hello! I would like to request a Jason Voorhees x Agender! Reader who somehow keeps ending up at Crystal Lake, every year, and faces Jason, every year. Each time, they end up getting the other counselors killed, but make it out fine, a few scratches or bruises, but other than that they're fine.

Maybe Jason starts to like seeing them, either because if they are there, then the others will be easy to kill, or because he likes seeing them? Up to you. Also, great blog, love your stuff, have a wonderful day!

omg yes!! thanks for all complements :D i have so much ideas for this one! so its one of longer ones! This can be read as platonic or romantic!! Pronouns are They/them! Request Open!!

Jason with agender!Reader

I can imagine it started by pure accident, their friends invited them over to party and vibe far away from city. You know the drill, somone gets too drunk, Jason goes brrr and everyone either dies becasue of their own stupidity or because Jason was in silly mood. y/n acidently kinda became this one main character in horror movies than just can't die, like they apear in every movie, but somehow they just can't rest :/ (for example Laurie Strode or Sidney Prescott)

First meeting with Jason was terryfing, big guy killing their friends like it was nothing. Imagine how y/n felt when year later their other friends decided to make suprise party there! and they didnt tell y/n where it was (obviously, its a suprise party duh). And everyone just assumed y/n were joking about whole "killer in the forest" thingy cuz its a campus ofcourse people will try to scare other people! ahh y/n soo goofy trying to spook their friends! Just like last time, absolute horror and killing spree happen, I can imagine y/n being more agile(but more jumpy probably due to trauma or sometihn idk).

Probably after few visits in Crystal Lake they kinda got used to whole "uwah spooky big guy with machete!!! uwah soo spooooky be spooked!" prompt. I can see them being like "Hi Jason, sorry i wasnt here last year i had stuff to do yknow" or "Hi Jason how was chrismas man?" aah casual conversations with killers>> He will be suprised and kinda akward, noone talks to him like to normal person :(

Its not like our Boy will stop trying to kill them constantly, but he will leave them for last,! Mostly because he acually enjoys their company a little. Especially if y/n talks to him like to normal human being!

Everytime they escape the Crystal Lake he kinda looks forward to see them next year, kinda hopes they will comeback and run around screaming and stuff. I can see y/n being less and less attached to other campers cuz they now theywill die lol.

Imagine y/n giving him tips which person kill first "ayo Jason can you kill this guy first, he said my oufit looks ugly :(" "..." (he agrees).

After finding out that Jason doesnt really have a family, y/n decides to give him little gift on chrismas (he will cry and if its some sort of plushie, he will hug it to sleep).

Also after few years he might stop plotting on killing them, like y/n seems chill and overall nice, theres no reason why he should kill them!

Once y/n was walking through forest and she acidently walked into some sort of bear trap :( and Jason was just standing there akwardly... like ??? should he help you??? or like not??? eeeh?? HE DOESNT KNOW WHAT TODO i mean after few stressing seconds (and y/n bleeding out) he helped them and MAYBE ONLY MAYBE he helped them with bandages :3

"Jason :((( it was raining and i slipped and my sweater is ruined :(" jason can't really respond, but he will lisen and probably get a new sweater or a hoodie for them(it mightt have blood on it)

Pls any phisical contact with this guy is a blessing, he needs hugs and other cute stuff! Please hold his hand while you guys are walking together. Also hopefully y/n is a talkitive person cuz they will do the talking! He enjoys lisening to them dont worry!

If anyone dares to be rude to y/n, Jason will speedrun killing them (in gruesome way ofc <3)

Ofcourse y/n probably has some scars because of Jason being all evil bab in past, and he will feel kinda guilty for whooping them with machete like 10 times, but eh who cares, they have both arms and legs so nothing really happenndddd rightt???

Overall 8/10 will give hugs and flowercrowns, but pls dont bring ur close friends to Crystal Lake he will stab :)

[aritany]

hi dad <3 ask time <3

for gideon:

peach, carrot, spark, fire, clementine, tiger

for laurie:

honey, ginger, bronze, spark, sand, tiger

i like these guys the normal and chill amount (lying)

hi son <3

GIDEON:

PEACH - Which traits are they most attracted to? Are they physical traits?

gideon LOVES a sharp wit. he's very quick on his feet and his favourite thing is when someone can keep up with him.

physically, he's a sucker for blue eyes.

CARROT - What do they usually eat?

gravel. my knuckles.

just kidding. gideon's a snacker. pecans are his favourite.

SPARK - What motivates them?

gideon is TERRIFIED of leaving his younger sister jayda to fend for herself. most of his decisions revolve around making sure she won't have to worry about safety and that she can just be a kid.

FIRE - How much do they know of their home's history? Is their knowledge right?

answered!

CLEMENTINE - Do they have a pet?

gideon has no pets! he is good friends with the perrigan family's chickens, though.

TIGER - What do they fear?

everything. specifically he's afraid of being separated from his family. also, roller coasters.

LAURIE:

HONEY - What is their silliest fear?

laurie is SO vain. he's lowkey afraid people won't think he's cute which i personally think is very silly.

GINGER - What trait do they find most repulsive in a potential partner?

arrogance.

close second would be a lack of curiosity.

BRONZE - What do they do when they lose? Do they lose often?

laurie is a TERRIBLE sport. but only on the inside. he does a lot of internal pouting. when it becomes obvious he's going to lose, he gets very quiet and the game stops being fun. he's not proud of it, but eh. it is what it is.

SPARK - What motivates them?

in the context of mtik, finding out Who The Hell He Is and Why The Hell This Day From Hell Keeps Repeating and Who Is Valerie Eaton and What Did She Do.

SAND - Do they prefer hot or cold?

cold.

TIGER - What do they fear?

the one hundred day countdown running out.

thanks for the ask son xoxo

ask me about laurie and/or gideon!

[transbennysummerfield]

Late for the book ask BUT 4, 8, 12 :)

4.  What are your top 3 comfort reads?

1 - The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (series) by Douglas Adams. My grandad recorded the original radio version onto cassette tape and we used to listen to it in the car on long journeys. He gave the tapes to me before he passed away and I still have them on my bookshelf. Hitchhiker's means a lot to me because of it, and also because it's just a really fun book.

2 - The Princess Bride by William Gibson. Just like in the movie where Columbo reads the book to his grandchild, my grandad gave this book to me when I was a kid, and it always reminds me of him.

3 - Three Men in a Boat by Jerome K Jerome. I know I mentioned it last ask, but I love it. It's a book my dad really loves, and it's a book he shared with me when I was a kid. It's just such a funny, charming read that its guaranteed to cheer me up when I'm feeling down

8.  What series has most pleased you?

Excluding previous answers (Discworld and Hitchhiker's) I think it is probably the Jeeves and Wooster stories by P. G. Wodehouse. The first one I actually read was Code of the Woosters and it's delightful. Prior to that I had watched a lot of the ITV television adaptation with Stephen Fry and Hugh Laurie, and they are so good in those roles. The books themselves are really fun to read. The plots do have a lot of similarities to one another sometimes, but they're so well written that it doesn't really matter. Bertie Wooster is honestly one of the characters of all time, to me.

12.  What book have you re-read most often?

It's not the Discworld book I recommend to people who are new to the series, but Night Watch is to me the peak of the Sam Vines series, and it's the one I go back to most often. Specifically, every 25th of May. I think it's the perfect mix of funny prose, tragic dramatic irony, political historical and social world-building, character study, and musings on the idea of revolution. It fleshes out the backstories of previously joke characters and does it in a way that will really get to you if you've spent the last few books laughing at their silly antics. I may have described It to some friends before as the Disco Elysium of the Discworld series. It puts you in Sam Vimes' worn out boots and makes you truly invested in things that you know probably won't come to pass. "Tomorrow the sun will come up again, and I'm pretty sure that whatever happens we won't have found Freedom, and there won't be a whole lot of Justice, and I'm damn sure we won't have found Truth. But it's just possible that I might get a hard-boiled egg."

[renaultphile]

Hey!!! Going to throw a couple questions at you as I’m curious to get your take:

1) what’s in the Ralph Special (maybe rum? Or was that rationed)?

2) do you think Ralph and Bim hooked up at one point? (I feel like it would have to be something cringey like at a Christmas party or New Year’s Eve 😆)

3) have you or anyone done Myers-Briggs test for these characters? I feel like Alec and Sandy would be all about it and Ralph would push it off as nonsense but curiosity would get him in the end.

☺️

Thank you so much @jackie-the-obscure for these asks!!

1)  So  Ralph’s special is …….smooth on the palate with (supposedly) a ferocious kick.  Oh rather a good description of him too!  I’m feeling rum is a very strong candidate.  There is that very strong rum he has in his room.  And it’s so strong that when he tries to offer it to Laurie for his knee, and Laurie says not to be silly, he even he pours it back in the bottle.  I love that bit so much!!  So I would agree, and then maybe honey for the palate smoother.

2)  Bim.  I’m now thinking, how could they not have!   And why is everyone so weird about the two of them.  Yes, something embarrassing, like something out of context, or an anonymous encounter and then they met properly and it was like ‘Oh, you!’ or something.  Also this ‘only Ralph can handle him’ is weird.  In my hc, I have Bim as Ralph’s supplier of benzadrene so that would also explain why he’s so helpful all the time, like, must protect the supply…..

3) Myers-Briggs!  OMG!  I am a bit rusty but I remember doing that many many years ago.  I totally agree Alec/Sandy would be loving it, and Ralph……well, there’s that incredible bit in the middle of the ‘two years of women’ when he says “I can't remember who those cranks are who say you mustn't think negatively; but they've got something, you know.” Which I just love.   So I feel Ralph’s got that kind of magpie mind that he would be desperate to know but would brush it off, like, yes I’ll take the test just so I can prove you wrong…..He’s always trying to ‘settle’ things so must be a J over a P though?

Are there any free questionnaire’s online for this?  @carrotcakecrumble do you know anything about this stuff?

But also, I am very interested in Dorothy Rowe’s personal construct theory and her introvert/extravert thing, and I feel Ralph is a strong extravert, in the sense that the outer world is more real to him than his inner world.  The exploration and mapping clinched it for me.  And Laurie seems an extreme introvert, needing his alone time, needing to ‘get his head straight’ and having imaginary conversations.  It’s meant to make them compatible though.

And finally, favourite Alec-isms.  It has to be when he’s not picked up Laurie’s surname and he says

"Oh, by the way, I don't know whether you get a kind of functional deafness during introductions, like me? I never got your name properly; was it -- er -- Hazell, or--?"

And then later, "And what is your name, if you'll forgive my unmannerly persistence?"

Love it, every time.  I get the feeling he is quite socially awkward, but has applied a veneer of polish for his job, and maybe that’s why Laurie is so drawn to him at the party, maybe a kindred spirit?

[oh-snapperss]

Laurie... Where did you find the time?? This means so so much. 🥹 All of this does. (my new most used emoji is 🥹, i blame you lot <33)

And the fic <33 Cooking with the people you love can be so personal... and the way they work off eachother?? You can really see that trust :) Also shows how long they've known eachother though their actions (and the teasing :3) You're writing sends me <33

Thank you so so much. I'm a mess, and words aren't enough so- yeah, thank you <33

-🍂

hi leaf anon:D

uhhhh to answer the time question… I really have no idea but it was fun as hell to write and 100% worth it

and thank you!! i would like to say I’m better at candy making then they are but i am not </3 I think the greatest way of showing love is to throw butter at someone. or powdered sugar/silly

and thank YOU! us writers… we appreciate you so much. genuinely. it makes our day when we get asks like you send and over the months it’a become something really special and we wanted to send back the support the only way we knew how:) happy birthday again!!

[aashiqui-aashiqui]

List 5 things that make you happy, then put this in the ask box of the last 10 people who reblogged something from you! Get to know your mutuals and followers. 💖

hi laurie!!!!! i hope you have been well as of recently 🫶🏼 and this is a fun question so i will happily answer

1. going outside!!! i used to hate going on walks or spending all day outside but now im actually incredibly tired of staying indoors for a long period of time so its safe to say i switched up on that

2. cold things to eat or drink in the summer…every time i have ice cream its divine and i can never get enough

3. spending time with my family or friends, this is basic but it’s fun talking to people i love whether its my best friends or my 10 year old brother so :)

4. reading!!! i have been a certified reader since i was little and i actually won the reader of the year or some other silly award when i was 9 without even trying because i just genuinely liked reading. that’s a moment i look back on fondly lmao because 9 year old me was heavily confused

5. this is occasional but i can draw (?) somewhat. its more when i get hit with a wave of motivation and inspiration so strong i just pray the drawing turns out nice. as of currently im kinda bad because i haven’t drawn in a long time but i do like doodling in my notebook margins so im actually a mega artist

anyway this was fun so expect this same ask back

[itsjaywalkers]

hello laurie<3 the two hour class route anon here and i wanted to tell you that i just finished reading nothing happens. and oh god. oh gOD?? OH MY FUCKING GOD JAMES ARE YOU OKAY??? I CANNOT BELIEVE THE MAN WHAT IS HE DOING WTF???? but also like... get it tho i hope u stay delusional as long as possible bc ohh he's gonna get so hurt😭😭 also him just casually saying 'we're such bros<3' abt reg after haviNG HIS HAND DOWN HIS PANTS HE'S SO UNSERIOUS ONG😭 and reg is just like '🧍‍♂️is this bitch fr-' bc wHAT is the meaning of platonic for these two

but. also. james just feeling sm love for reggie from when they meet that he doesn't even suspect he has romantic feelings for him bc he's just. always felt that way???? oh my GOD IM ACTUALLY GOING INSANE

also emma😭 she's just going through it bc what kind of shit is this man pulling w her i was actually flabbergasted reading how james justified that damn kiss ong???

honestly just really looking forward to sirius' reaction to all this when he figures it out. i mean he spent like 3 years having his bsf and brother be jealous of each other for having to share him and now they're just doing whatever it is that they're doing and he cant even get mad at james bc the man doesn't even know‼️‼️ he's actually gonna go bald over these two omg

absolutely love them sm will be thinking abt these two on the route tmrw they're so so precious and silly i love them hope they get their shit together, even if its just for the sake of sirius' hair💗 thank you soo much for writing and sharing them with us i hope you have a great week<33

(also- didn't manage to complete the paper but the deadline hasn't passed yet so i'll just complete it tomorrow)

OMG HI BABE <333 genuinely don't know how u can deal with such a long commute, it takes me like . 45 min to get to work and that's already painful enough..

anyway HE IS NOT OKAY THAT'S THE PROBLEM and yes he's gonna get quite hurt, both he and reggie will be suffering A Lot and it's mostly bc they're dumb . and ridiculous . and also obsessive and toxic and don't know how to maintain a healthy dynamic. the make out scene is HILARIOUS to me, i couldn't keep a straight face while writing it, james is not real he really isn't. reg is at his fucking limit ngl. and also . quite confused

HE LOVES REGGIE SO FUCKING MUCH LIKE IT'S LOWKEY CONCERNING ATP but yeah if u stop and think about it, it does make sense, why james is unable to . distinguish between platonic and romantic when it comes to reg

I KNOWWWW i'm team james always that's my boy but also . i totally support emma, she should've punched him imo, bc what was james even saying HE WAS SO FUCKING INFURIATING DURING THAT WHOLE CONVO I SWEAR

oooooh i'm also looking forward to writing sirius' reaction, it's one of my fav parts of nothing happens, bc he does . go insane . although probably not for the usual reasons. but it's a very complicated situation and sirius is kinda . conflicted considering who are the ppl involved. IT'S SUCH A MESS he will go bald at this rate

i'm so very happy you like them so far and that ur loving this series this much <3 ESPECIALLY CONSIDERING YOU'VE BEEN BRAINROTTING ABOUT THEM (me too btw ur so very real). and they will get their shit together i promise!! it's gonna take quite long and i can't promise they'll have a healthy relationship by the end of this but !! they'll sort things out <333

(good luck my love, i hope u finish it in time for the deadline, i'm rooting for u and sending u a very big hug LOVE U <3)

[the-one-where-casey-watches-tv]

Only Murders in the Building Season 3 and the Power of a Musical Number

Martin Short, Steve Martin, and Selena Gomez in Only Murders in the Building. Image courtesy of IMDb.

This should’ve been a two season show. Every new murder in this building makes the show less plausible. As far as I’m concerned, foreshadowing Bunny’s murder in the pilot episode is the only reason they even got away with a second one. Plus, you never see any deliberate two season shows, wouldn’t that be cool?

Now, after three, it’s gotten silly- but I don’t entirely mean that in a bad way. Even from its compelling start, I don’t think it was ever a show to be taken too seriously. It’s cozy. It’s comfort food. It’s the perfect hangover show. And it might embrace cutesy self-awareness more successfully than anything else I’ve ever seen.

Season three delivered another pretty solid mystery, but it recognized that at this point, we’re here for the antics just as much as we’re here for the plot. Death Rattle Dazzle is a hilarious device that carried this season on its back. Martin Short directing Steve Martin, Paul Rudd, and Meryl Streep in a dramatic musical mystery about which infant triplet killed their mother in a premeditated homicide is a swing that doesn’t miss. They got like three whole episodes worth of plot out of the patter song, “Which of the Pickwick Triplets Did It?”, and I’m here to say that I have no problem with that. The stars are having fun, but they aren’t selling out.

I love a musical number in a tv show. Jessica Lange’s “Life on Mars” and “The Name Game” (American Horror Story), Hugh Laurie and Lisa Edelstein’s “Get Happy” (House), Sam Claflin and Riley Keough’s “Look at Us Now” (Daisy Jones and the Six), and Justin Theroux’s “Homeward Bound” (The Leftovers) cross my mind often as reminders that a little song and dance can have a significant place in any genre.

Charles being at first incapable of singing “Which of the Pickwick Triplets Did It?” without sacrificing his sanity, followed by Matthew Broderick dropping in to rattle it off under his breath, finally resolving with Charles redeeming himself with a pitch-perfect performance that parallels their own murder investigation puts this song on the map for me.

Steve Martin in Only Murders in the Building. Image courtesy of Exclaim!

And when we finally get to hear the song in its entirety, with full fanfare, the lyrics are laugh out loud funny. “Time for you or you or you to admit it!” is probably my favorite, but lines like “Which crib, which sib will be doing hard time?” really convey the humor in the entire premise of the musical without us having to watch the whole production. The song is on Spotify, I’ve been listening to it at the gym.

I don’t have many thoughts about the actual murder this season, although I will say that a good mystery is one of the most delicate things to pull off- and I think they do. I’m 0 for 3 guessing these killers, and I like it that way. If I see it coming from a mile away, I’m bored- and a little insulted. If the answer is out of left field, delivered at the eleventh hour by a crucial clue that I as an audience member had no way of knowing, I feel like I didn’t get a fair crack at it. The audience should be close enough on a story’s tail that they don’t beat it to the finish line, but they’re kicking themselves for it.

All that to say: the mystery holds up, but it’s the song that still has me bringing up Only Murders in conversation. I don’t hold this show to the same critical standard as some others because even though it’s not reinventing the wheel, I think it’s achieving its intention.

Still from Only Murders in the Building. Image courtesy of IMDb.

And I’m optimistic about season four! I find this trio endearing, and the obligatory season finale cliffhanger murder feels much less random than season two’s hail Mary with a brand-new cast member. I’ll really miss Sazz; Jane Lynch looking just like Steve Martin is a bit that’s funny every time. But I think we’ll get a good amount of flashbacks, and probably a deeper dive into Charles’s Brazzos era, which sounds like a great time to me.

Do you still watch this show? What are your speculations about next season? How many murders can there be in this building? Does asking that question within the show make it any less implausible? Have you noticed the print Charles has in his kitchen that just says “nice hot vegetables”?

[lefthandersruletheworld]

My Impression of you Based off Which Survivor you Main (not up to date):

Dwight: You try your best and are altruistic to a fault. You’ll do just about every heal and unhook, plus protection hits. A lot of the time, you’ll be left to die though. Good news for you, because killers may spare you because you’re cute. 

Meg: You think you’re really good at looping, but you’re not. You’re good at doing gens though! 

Claudette: You are a member of a toxic breed. You yourself may not be toxic, but other players may be wary of you due to Claudette’s reputation. Also, you think self care is better than Nancy’s perk. 

Jake: You try to be stealthy, but you never are. If the killer walked past you and “didn’t notice you” then they 100% did notice you, but they felt bad that you have 0 ability to hide so they looked the other way. 

Nea: You think you’re a god at this game and you get too cocky. You get mad when the killer doesn’t fall for your tricks, and can be a little mean. However, you tend to be altruistic and helpful. 

Laurie: You constantly wonder why killers tunnel you when your character comes with Decisive Strike. 

Ace: You’re a meme lord and like how quiet Ace is. You also think you’re cool because you main him. 

Bill: No matter how many hours you have in this game, you will always think you’re at a higher skill level than you are. 

Feng: You’re a sweaty gamer who likes to dominate other players, but you like to look cute while you do it. 

David: You main David for one of two reasons. 1, you think he’s cool and wish you were tough like him, or 2, you think he’s sexy and own the shirtless David torso. 

Quentin: You are extremely underrated and sweet. You carry teams on your back, but then get left to die. We need more players like you. 

Tapp: I almost never see you doing gens or running the killer, but if I’m injured you somehow materialize into existence just so you can rub my back. Then you leave and I never see you again (that is, until I’m injured)

Kate: You main Kate because of boobies. 

Adam: You're stuck in a dilemma. See, when you run Deliverance, it's like the killers know you're running it, and they will do EVERYTHING in their power to hook you first, and the moment you say "fuck it" and take the perk off, suddenly the killers don't give a crap about you and then you're like one of the last people hooked, and then your team just abandons you and you don't get to have your rightful hook jump because you took that stupid perk off. You're mostly chill about it, but deep down you're very salty about it, which I would be too

Jeff: You’re also rare, and despite how sweet of a character Jeff is, I think you’re mad about Jeff's lack of cosmetics, because a lot of y'all are low-key toxic. 

Jane: You main Jane because of booty. 

Ash: You have no right to be as good as you are and somehow die first every single match. 

Nancy: You think you’re better than Claudette mains because you run Inner Healing (Inner Strength) instead of self care. 

Steve: You’re so much fun to play with but JESUS I know you're so horny for that poor guy. LET HIM BREATHE FOR CHRISTS SAKE.

Jonathan: You take pride in being the unicorn of DBD

Yui: You like the idea of a hot motorcycle babe pegging you. 

Zarina: Most people forget you exist, but you tend to be helpful. 

Cheryl: Normally you’re pretty average, but if you have a flashlight you become a literal demon to both your teammates and the killer. 

Cybil: You have big dick energy and I respect you

James: You’re chill, but I don’t wanna be near you when you have a pillow. 

Jeryl/Chames: You have the determination of a GOD and you should be respected and feared as such. 

Lisa: I have no reason to feel this way, but in my heart I imagine you mimicking Patrick Stars “wee woo wee woo” when you go for hook saves. If you didn’t before, this will haunt you now. 

Felix: Himbo. Sweet himbo. You try your best but you make silly mistakes. We still love you though <3 

Elodie: You're one of two things. You either A. Like Elodie as a character but really wish she was quieter, or B. You play her specifically because she's loud and its your passive aggressive way to punish the killer for hooking you.

Yun-Jin: Despite how much of a bitch Yun-Jin really is, you're surprisingly sweet and are willing to go the extra mile for your teammates if you like them. 

Jill: You just wanna do your fucking objectives man. 

Claire: You can convey an impressive amount of sass through a video game and I respect you so much. 

Sheva: You either really like her character or really love ✨women✨

Leon: It doesn't matter how many hours you have in this game- you could have 5 hours or 5,000 hours- you are legit the most unlucky lucky person ever. You can get away with the most atrocious jukes, impressive loops and cheekiest plays ever, but then right after run face first into a wall, and then take a sharp turn into the killer + haunted grounds just got activated for that +2 'fuck you' damage.

Chris: You bring terror to every unfortunate Leon that crosses your path

Carlos: Hubba hubba, you have fiiiiine taste

Mikaela: You’re a sweetheart, but you want Nancy to stop touching your fucking totems.

Jonah: Who ARE you?? Are you real?? What do you do?? Why do you do?? WHO ARE YOU??

Yoichi: You enjoy saying you main Demi (from youtube)

Haddie: You really respect Haddie as a character and are STARVING for more cosmetics

Ada: You REALLY wanna fuck Ada. No no, come here, don't delete your search history now, come on, let me see it. I know you have SFM/Rule34 videos of her. I know what you are.

Rebecca: You’re very peppy and VERY excited to go for every unhook

Vittorio: Do you need a napkin for all that drool? 

[justablah56]

Hey there !!! I'm Aether , it/its :]

@justahopelessbellusromantic is my a-spec side blog

I also run the @dndadspolls , so if you're interested in that, go check it out !

Im open to doodle requests ! doodles will usually be messier and with traditional pencil on paper , just so I can get to them faster , tho please make sure that it's a character I know , otherwise I wont do it , sorry 😅 I've got a list of fandoms I'm in just below the cut if you want to check and see if I know the character youd like me to draw, or you can ask if youre not sure :] ocs are also fine as long as you've got a reference !

I have . so many dndads character/ship playlists and if you ever want to see if I have a playlist for smthin I probably do and I WILL send them to you btw <3

this is a notice to every individual who decided to actually read my pinned post , PLEASE FUCK SEND ME CHARACTER RANTS/INFODUMPS I WILL LOVE YOU !! I don't even care if I know the character though I'm sure that will help , I just love listening to people talk about things and if anyone decides they want to spout random headcannons or fun facts or whatever about their blorbo/ship/hyperfixation ? please do !! idc if you decide to do it on anon or whatever , just so long as you know you will lovingly be referred to as *character/ship/thing* anon in my brain <3 and if you're asking off anon I'll probably come up with a talking tag for you eventually unless you give me one to use <333

below the cut is mostly just a guide to all the tags I use in case any of y'all want to know those either to find specific stuff or block specific tags :3

I post mostly rwd, dndads or just y'know whatever, but I'm also interested in/will post about project hail mary, fantasy high, dvc, dungeon meshi, galavant, love and luck, tma/tmagp, malevolent, monstrous agonies, furry stuff, tpp, ofmd, stellar firma, wtnv, w359, any Riordanverse books, tdp, Pokemon, good omens, toh, amphibia, gravity falls, de:pp, stranger things, cookie run, A:tla, Steven universe, plus probably a few other assorted fandoms that I can't think of rn :]

all my art is tagged under "my art" , and you are welcome to use my art in edits or as a pfp etc . as long as I'm credited :]

I also sometimes make little yarn pompom dolls ! which are also under my art tag, but they're also tagged with "aethers dolls :]"

"just blahs" is my talking tag , and "cookies rambles <3" , "icy asks !" , "silly zilly" , "jay !!" , "hi laurie !!" , "cgi says !" , "asriel asks" , and "vik !!" are a few of my friend's talking tags for when they decide to have full conversations in my ask box <3 "tj anon" , "gothweebcleats anon" , and "anon in the corner" are a few reoccurring anons I have !

I use the tags "tag games" and "ask games" so if you see some post tagged w that you can probably scroll back through that tag for a minute to see which ask game I'm replying to !

I also tag most art/outfit memes with "art meme" , so if you wanna send me a req please do ! however if I rbed it more than like . a few days before you ask I would like it if you specified which one you're talking abt 😅

"luca my beloved" is the tag for my oc Luca and his partner Mitch, I'm always happy to receive asks abt either of em or outfit suggestions or literally anything tbh dbjdjdjdn I just like thinking abt them and getting questions abt them

"pet posting" is me talking abt my cat and/or dog bcs I love them <3

if there's anything you'd like me to tag , don't hesitate to lmk and I will try my best to make sure to tag it :3