#i like this little thing with the face tho. guidance lines in place of an actual face my beloved

[keeps-ache]

LET ME OUT‎

[lavendersuh]

what a feeling

johnny x fem!reader | badboy!au, too much fluff | 2.4k words

warnings: mentions of nicotine addition, alcohol

based off of this moodboard and au idea created by @neo-cult-ure!! thank you luv for allowing me to play around with this au idea! I originally wrote this bc i loved the idea and just wanted to self indulge in some writing a few nights ago. I probably could’ve fleshed this out more, but i’m in the middle of exams so i probably shouldn’t even be writing fic rn haha (fair warning tho there is so much fluff help) hope u enjoy!!

~~~

“I need your help.”

Haechan looks up to see an unexpected face peering over him. It wasn’t every day that resident bad boy Johnny Suh was asking a drama student for something. While the two of them ran around in slightly similar circles due to their mutual acquaintances, Haechan can’t remember the last time he spoke one-on-one with Johnny.

“What do you need my help with?” he asks curiously, as he shuts his locker. 

“There’s this girl.” Johnny says, rubbing a hand on the back of his neck, “She’s different, Haechan, I need your help.” 

Johnny has always been the most confident person Haechan knows. He always admired him for that, but now it appears that the tall boy has a rosy tiny covering his cheeks, along with a sheepish smile. 

“My help? I can’t imagine being much help compared to Jaehyun… isn’t he your wing man?” Haechan responds.

He begins walking away, heading for his next class. He didn’t hate Johnny, nothing even close to that, but he was a bit suspicious of why he was coming to a self-proclaimed nerdy, drama student for help. 

“This is different…” Johnny mumbles as he catches up with Haechan, “Do you know that diner a few blocks from here? The Neo Zone?” 

Haechan looks over at him, “That neon, throwback place? Yeah, the theater kids go there after practice sometimes.”

“There’s a waitress there.” The older boy says, “She’s pretty, her laugh is like a song, Haechan, she’s perfect.”

“The problem, then?” Haechan asks. Johnny didn’t seem like the kind of person to have trouble with the ladies.

“She wants nothing to do with me.”

Haechan can’t help the laugh he lets out, “Did your usual flirting not work out for you?”

Johnny wasn’t a terrible guy, in fact, he could be very respectful (despite the cheesy pick-up lines sometimes), with a nice sense of humor and friendly smile to go along with it. But he had some bad habits. He refused to buy a helmet for his precious motorcycle. He smoked more than he should. He wasn’t always present during school hours. But underneath the leather jacket and torn up jeans, the boy wasn’t all that bad. He loved to flirt and fool around, but he never took things farther than someone wanted.

Johnny frowns at Haechan’s laughter, “I was hoping you could help me. She’s interested in 80s films, and I know you’re into stuff like that. You have a huge collection, don’t you? Could I borrow The Breakfast Club? Sixteen Candles?”

“Yeah, I can lend you some of them this weekend.” Haechan stops in front of the door to his next class, turning around to look back at Johnny, who’s grinning with appreciation.

“But Johnny?”

“Yeah?”

“It’s gonna take more than just flirting and watching her favorite movies. You gotta get to know her.” 

Johnny throws him a classic smirk, his confidence returning to his face, “Will do, Haechan.”

~~~

“Hey, Y/N!”

You turn around without Johnny seeing the roll of your eyes. After his shameless flirting last weekend you knew he would probably be back. 

His flirting wasn’t creepy; it was actually a little bit flattering. You couldn’t count on your hand the number of men that had spoken their fair share of sleezy comments to you. Johnny’s flirting was refreshing (but maybe that was just because he seemed to be your age instead of thirty years your senior). He asked about your favorite movies when you had mentioned liking 80s films. He complimented the sneakers you painted yourself. 

But alas, he was also a walking stereotype, with the leather jackets and motorcycle parked just out front. When you waited on his table last time, you nearly coughed over the smell of nicotine that followed him around.

“Hi, Johnny,” you say, leading him to a booth in the corner, laying out the menu on the table.

“I watched some of the movies you told me about,” he says, smiling brightly at you, “Got any more recommendations?”

You can’t help but feel a bit flustered at the fact that he watched some of the stuff you recommended. He was paying you a lot more attention than you had previously thought. 

While you take his order and bring out his food, Johnny flirts and makes jokes. You can’t help but smile at some of the things he says, despite yourself. By the end of his meal, you bring out his receipt, showing him the list of movies you wrote on the back in black pen. 

“Thanks! Maybe I could take you out and we could talk about them sometime?” he asks, a hopeful gleam in his eye. 

You roll your eyes at him, “You’re gonna have to do more than just watch my favorite movies for me to change my mind about you.” 

“Am I really that bad?”

“You aren’t bad, Johnny. I just feel like I deserve more than just someone who smokes and rides a motorcycle without protection.” You say, walking off to ring up his order and get his change. 

He huffs as you walk off. What was he to do? 

~~~

‘This is stupid,’ Johnny thinks to himself as he pulls up to the diner, a week and a half later. He was driving Haechan’s car, but that wasn’t the only thing he had borrowed.

When Johnny had reconvened with the boy, Haechan told him he needed to change up his act in order to impress you. 

And somehow this is how Johnny ended up walking into the diner with a dorky sweater and his hair neatly combed on a Friday evening. The neon sign of the diner glowed into the car, casting shadows on the funny pattern of the sweater.

He felt so stupid, but he was also kind of desperate. It was Haechan that had come up with the plan after suggesting he dress a bit nicer. 

“I don’t know if I have any ‘nice’ clothes, Haechan,” Johnny had told the other boy.

“Then you can borrow some of mine!” Haechan looked up at how tall his friend was, “Or maybe my brother’s…”

Johnny knows he went overboard but he also really wants to see your smile again. He supposes it’s worth it. 

“Welcome in,” you say, but as you turn around, you pause, “...Johnny?” 

He smiles, reminding himself that he can be confident without the bad boy clothes and aesthetic. “Does your shift end soon? Could I take you out for ice cream?”

Somehow you can’t help but find the outfit change endearing, so you find yourself nodding. The boy was clearly trying to impress you, so you should at least give him a chance. And ice cream sounded excellent after a long shift. It couldn’t be all that bad, could it?

~~~

It ended up being quite nice, actually. 

Johnny took you to an ice cream shop on the edge of town, leading you to a picnic bench after getting two cones of ice cream. As the sun fully slipped away and the stars started to come out along the purple sky, you both discussed movies, the future, your favorite foods, everything.

He was a good listener, holding eye contact and asking questions, full of attention. He told lovely stories when he wanted to, as well. You couldn’t help but find yourself to be a bit drawn to him when you finally gave him the time of day. His humor, his soft smiles, his contagious laugh. It was clear to see it would be easy to fall for someone like him.

It was hard though, knowing the reputation he held. He did risky things, a cigarette in one hand, his motorcycle keys in the other. From his stories, you knew he cut class. He never wore a helmet, either.

Just because he wore a nice sweater and borrowed a friend’s car didn’t change these things.

“I hope we can do this again, sometime.” 

Johnny lightly holds your hand as he stands outside of your front door while dropping you off.

You looked up at him, his face soft under your front porch light. There was so much hope in his eyes, hope for the idea that you would give him more of your time, more of your smiles.

“Oh, Johnny,” you say, slowly, “This is really sweet, but this isn’t you.”

He looks confused for a moment, protesting, “Of course, this is me. I just cleaned up my act, like you said.”

You frown, “Sure, I did say that, but you changed all the outside pieces of yourself.”

“Isn’t that what you wanted?” he asks.

“What? Johnny, no, of course not!” you exclaim, “I don’t care if you have this ‘bad boy’ act, and drink, and ride motorcycles. I just hate that you are so careless with yourself. You smelled like smoke every time I saw you. You never wear a helmet. You refuse to go to class sometimes. It hurts me seeing someone so bright, someone I’m enjoying getting to know, do nothing but hurt themselves.” 

You squeeze his hand, hoping to offer some form of comfort while you speak your truths. “Just cause you changed your clothes doesn’t mean you are changed for the better.”

“What are you saying?”

“I like you, Johnny. You.” you say, taking his hand in yours, “Not this dressed up, masked version of you. I just want you to care about yourself. So I can care about you, too.” 

Things are quiet for a moment, as Johnny stares at the ground. Finally, he looks up at you, an unknown flicker in his eyes. 

You let go of his hand, “You have some stuff to work through. You’re sweet, Johnny, and I’m happy that we’ve gotten to know each other. Please call me when you figure things out.”

You go inside, leaving him frozen in place. 

~~~

“Has Johnny come in lately?” 

You are startled out of wiping down tables at the diner when you hear someone speak to you. You look up to see a honey-haired boy, who you recognize as Haechan, one of the drama club kids from school. 

“You know him?” you ask, your eyes narrowed.

“Yeah,” Haechan rubs the back of his neck, “We’ve become friends recently. He told me he liked you. Asked to borrow some movies and stuff.” 

Realization dawns on you that Johnny had probably gone to Haechan to get some guidance. The thought makes your heart squeeze. You’d been curious about where Johnny was getting the knowledge from. You recall Haechan being in the after school film club as well. 

“He stopped coming in a while ago,” you say, “I gave him my number after we went out once, but I didn’t hear from him.”

You try to keep the feeling of sadness from washing over you, but you’re surprised at how affected you are by Johnny’s absence in the past few weeks. While his flirting could be a bit relentless sometimes, there was no doubt that he respected you through all of his charming antics.

“Hm..” Haechan seems to be deep in thought at your words. 

You ask him if he wants to order anything, but he declines, thanking you for the offer before leaving nearly as soon as he had entered. 

~~~

“Hey.”

You look up on your way out of the diner after your shift, startled by a voice. Johnny stands in the parking lot, next to his motorcycle, a soft smile across his face. He has his leather jacket back on, but surprisingly, you notice he has a helmet tucked under his arm, too.

“What are you doing here?” you ask, walking up to him, “You haven’t come in for a while.”

“Thought I’d come stop by,” he grins. “I heard you missed me.”

You look down shyly at the pavement, “I never said that… but yeah, I guess.”

It was a surprising feeling as you confessed that small truth to Johnny. It was boring around the diner without his conversations and flirting words. It felt nice to let those words out.

Johnny leans behind him, grabbing another, smaller helmet, “Wanna take a ride? I wanna take you out for another date. I even bought you a helmet. Hope you’re not scared to go a little fast.” 

You nod, unable to keep the smile off of your face. It was nice hearing Johnny’s bluntness again. He seemed more relaxed, more comfortable with himself.

You run over to your car quickly, shoving your bag into the backseat before walking back over to Johnny. You climb on to the bike behind him, feeling him place the extra helmet on your head. While he adjusts it, his fingers brush across your face, sending chills down your spine. 

Once he’s back in position, you boldly wrap your arms around his torso, letting your head rest across his jacket. You take a deep breath, expecting to smell the nicotine that follows him around, but his leather jacket smells fresh.

“Did you quit smoking?” you ask, as he turns on the motorcycle.

“Yeah, I quit after our date,” he explains, “I was kinda unbearable for a while there… That's why I didn’t come into the diner. After a while, I figured you woulda forgot about me.”

You let out a laugh as he pulls out of the parking lot, “How could I ever?” 

You both ride along in silence, aside from your nervous laughs as the motorcycle speeds through traffic. You notice the elevation getting higher as he rides outside of the city.

Finally, he pulls off next to a scenic outlook overlooking the metropolis. The sun is starting to set, casting shadows along the buildings, along Johnny’s face. You can’t tell which you find more beautiful.

“I want to thank you.” he says, wrapping an arm around your waist to pull you to look at him. 

“For what?” 

“For caring about me. I didn’t even care about me.” he tucks a strand of your hair behind your ear, cupping your cheek.

You smile up at him, his soft words making you bold. You lean in, kissing his lips in response. After you pull back, Johnny wraps his arms around you, pulling you into the warmest hug of your life. 

It seemed simple, really. As the sun set with an orange glow, marking the end of a day, it also marked a new beginning. It left you both with a warm feeling. And what a feeling it was.

[ectora]

Review episode 312

It’s weird because I enjoyed the episode but most of my comments are actually criticism so bare with me 😂

Overall it was a nice episode to watch. The acting was on point especially for Sarah and Poppy imo they carried this episode but also probably cause they’re the one with the most compelling stories on this one. The episode kinda felt like a filler but honestly that’s because the show is focusing too much on the allergy and we know that’s not gonna be fixed til the end so as long as they make that the main story of the sisters, most episodes are gonna feel like fillers when it comes to them. Macy and Maggie had their own little adventure with a ghost which was funny (again kudo to Sarah), Harry and Mel went on a quest for a soul tho we still have no clue what it actually meant and Abigael was going through her own little traumatic hell in the tomb (Poppy really has been particularly slaying this storyline acting wise ).

Screen time

Abigael: 6m11s

Macy: 17m24s

Mel: 11m15s

Maggie: 18m24s

Harry: 11m03s

What I liked

Maggie still got the internship and I’m glad back she deserved it. I really don’t dislike Antonio but I’m also glad they kinda made it clear she wasn’t interested and that she finally made progress with her feelings for Jordan.

Abigael. I liked it because it gave us more insight on Abigael’s past (tho I still think they should have given us this earlier). I always theorised that from her childhood, she was obviously scared from the fact her mom never really accepted her demon side which created her deep feeling of rejection and how she was never accepted and never belonged. But I also thought she had some kind of loving family. Like to me these two things were not necessarily contradictory. Well apparently not. Her mom straight out abused her during her childhood. Which definitely explain why she choose the demon side like that. Both her parents were terrible to them but as she said in the past, at least she can understand demon a little but. She can rationalise it base on their nature. When it came from her mom however, it came fully from a place of dislike which must have been very harmful on a child. So obviously when I say I like it I don’t mean I like what her mom did to her, but I really like the insight and explanation. And again, Poppy did an amazing job. She made Abigael feel so vulnerable and scared, and confirmed that, ultimately what Abigael always wanted was acceptance. Which she first needs to give to herself.

Marisol and Macy sharing a scene. I have my issues with how it went which I’ll come to later. But I’m glad it existed and Mads really showed great emotions.

That was a short list because if I did enjoy the episode and there was some highlights I’ll talk about later, I also can’t really pintpoint things I loved.

What I disliked

Harry’s story. I just really don’t like how they make it all about the relationship when it could be so much deeper than that. I also am not sure I like the length to which he’s ready to go for it. Like the entire soul donation is a bit weird to me.

Marisol and Macy. Listen that one made me angry. Maybe it wouldn’t have if Macy actually had other stuff going on than her relationship with Harry but with the way the show has been writing her mostly around her relationship with Harry, it really didn’t come across well to me. The fact we had for the first time a in present tense scene between Macy and Marisol and all they talked about a man has me fuming. Maybe if they had had a longer time to talk. But they had like two minutes and most of it was about men.

The sisters. I don’t like the fact Mel wasn’t there when they were going to connect with their mom. I feel like that should have been a story kept for all three of them. I’m also annoyed that they once again refused to give us some Mel and Macy. I would have liked to see them a bit. Once again that sisterly bond feels like it’s non existent.

Melby. I cannot believe anyone would actually look at them and think yes that’s good. The treatment is absolutely terrible. The buildup was bad - because it was supposed to last - and the fact it’s all off screen is absolutely terrible. Ruby has been in three episode this season. One of them she didn’t actually share a scene with Ruby. The second episode they were full of drama and jealousy and they were so easily breaking up. And suddenly we jump to the I love yous. And were supposed to find that cute ? Like what are we supposed to think they love about each other? The constant breaking ups ? Cause that’s the most consistent thing about them. It kinda feels cheap in the way it’s done ngl.

What doesn’t make sense

Why was Jordan in the description ? I feel they’re kinda trying to avoid putting Abi’s name in the summaries (or at least it feels like it) but like .... Jordan had not reason to even be talked about. He didn’t appear once. It should have been Abi’s name in there.

The pills falling from the pocket Like ... Harry you had literally one job. How exactly did they fall ??

Why did they seem lost until their realised Jordy was a descendant and they could use his soul. Did I miss something saying it needed to be a male descendant ? Cause like ... Gil (Jil ? Idk) was literally right there. (Nevermind apparently I missed them saying « male descendent » my bad dkdjd

How did abi know she was in the tomb. Like I know my girl is smart but like ... she has basically no contact with the sisters at this point so how on earth did she learn how the tomb works and what happens inside ??

Highlights

The hammer. Listen, don’t ask me why but this picture of abi has been sending me for weeks now and I’ve been wondering the context since I’ve seen it. Like it gives me the biggest dumb bitch energy ever. The fact that abi is a very smart person and just thought a hammer would get her out of the tomb just has me laughing like it’s just too funny to me 😭

“The British hot lady” Swan I understand You

The way Maggie calls for Abi and gets into her apartment. I don’t know why I just love it.

Macy trying to lie to Antonio. Macy’s face when she lies is always a delight.

No but do any of these older generations know what not having an affair even mean? But I mean like father like son I guess.

« Who footnotes a spell » Macy’s face was so funny 😭 she was so done with it.

Theories

Not gonna lie. I’m a bit scare about next episode. I think it might be really interesting but also I’m very scare of the execution especially when it comes to Abigael and Macy. I do believe Macy has valid to distrust Abigael. However the show has been terrible at portraying those. And ultimately, especially lately, the sisters and Abigael have barely crossed paths. They’re barely in each other’s lives. All the do is coexist in the same city and interact when demons are involved which isn’t really the case. So right now all abi is doing is keeping the demons in lines. So I’m scared that Macy’s rightful dislike and distrust is almost gonna come across as pettiness or jealousy. But I also think that there is a difference between not trusting Abigael and say she deserves to be in the tomb. Cause at the end of the day past episode 4 what has she really done so terrible that deserves eternal suffering/delusion or whatever the tomb actually does. She’s manipulative and self serving sure but she also helps more than anything. The sisters have actually nothing to win have having Abigael stuck in there. And more to lose.

One theory is that the perfecti are trying to isolate the sisters. Putting abi and Jordan in the tomb is separating them from their allies and helping Harry to lose his powers is taking their guidance/healer away from them.

Another is just that really just have a very strict black and white vision and Abigael being a demon and Jordan helping them makes them automatically in the black category. Which the title seems to be referring to so it’s probably this.

I think the upcoming episode might be a way to introduce the whole controversy around Macy’s demon powers. And slowly bringing up the story of Abigael giving them back to her.

I think it also might be a way to actually have the show approach the wrongs Abigael did in the show. But also the rights. After all, it seems like they’ll need to prove she doesn’t deserve to be in it. Which I personally don’t think she does. Though she definitely did wrong things in her life. So I think they might actually use this as an occasion to have the sisters talk about what she did do that was wrong. And hopefully also highlight that she did help them on multiple occasions.

With the “previously in charmed” it makes it feel like they’re still going with Maggie not knowing Jordan can actually touch her and this doesn’t stop confusing me. But I can see the show have them hug once he’s out of the tomb and then kinda admit their feelings finally and Jordan say something in the lines that he kept it from her because he didn’t want to put pressure on her or that him being able to touch her didn’t change the fact she wanted to focus on herself or something on those lines.

One thing I want to talk about is Abigael. Please don’t read this paragraph if you haven’t heard about the rumours going around. //// The fact is, there is a very strong change Poppy is leaving the show. And the way they made this episode made it very clear Abigael was abused as a child. But that she is also absolutely craving love and acceptance. And that she does love her mom and always wanted her love. I’m very scared that if they make Abigael leave (better than die) they’d make her go back to her sister and family and try to fix their relationship. Which would absolutely be terrible message to give as we literally know now that she was abused. And making a character go back to their abusers because of the trauma it caused (her fear of rejection and inability to actually accept herself) would just be disgusting. But I’m scared that’s the road they’re gonna take.

[spc4eva]

Star-Burned: Chapter Three

Sundays are going to be posting days just like Mandokar. I've decided to also add the two pieces will be in the same collection in the same universe; so Paz has a sister who is with Din.

My headcanon is that many Death Troopers are Mandalorians who joined the Empire after the Great Purge. Just an fyi.

Word Count: 10,421

Rating: M (+18) oral sex f!receiving, unprotected sex

Masterlist

Cross Posted on AO3

So Jawas were alright.

They were kind of finicky because most of the time they were thieving little bastards and you really had to keep your eye on them. Sure, they could do nice things, they'd proven that before when they had brought back your parents' bodies without asking for payment. But... the moment they actually got to take a look at Paz's ship you knew you were in for it. They fucking wanted it. The entire thing. All of it. Your signs must've done a good job, because they hadn't come into the sheltered alcove where it was hidden like a lost treasure. The road led up to your farm, but the smoke churning up from the ship typically would've drawn them in like moths to a flame. Now the robed midgets were milling around, chirping in their language, and billeting Paz with questions that he couldn't understand. 

"What do they want?" Paz looked to you for guidance.

"Your whole ship," you laugh before glancing down at the lead Jawa, Tho Qeohe. You reasoned with him, discerning, in the past, the Jawas only by the different belts of items that they adorned their robes in. This ship belonged to someone, you were looking for assistance in standing it up and the appropriate parts to make the last repairs, which would probably include scrap metal, any engine parts, and landing gear. 

Make it worth it. What was there to offer that would be worth parting with that many materials and the addition of assistance? Jawas did not work for free and nor did they do favors, despite how long they'd known you. 

"They said you have to make it worth their while. They'd be willing to give the parts, but a good trade will be expected. Do you have anything... rare on your ship?" You ask Paz finally after quietly debating with Tho. Immediately, the Jawa pointed at his armor, which he had donned today. You shook your head, explaining that he was Mandalorian and the beskar was off the table entirely. There was an aggravated huff of dismay, Tho convinced that there would be little worthwhile that could otherwise be exchanged for all those parts. Unless... 

Oh-ho-ho the little buggers were trying to be cheeky now, tugging on your pant leg and gibbering excitedly. No, you needed your tip-yips, they were your solid source of protein. 

"I have a camtono of Exonium that was looking to sell once I got to the right spaceport," Paz offered, which... which was actually a good offer. You blink a few times and explain to the Jawas that the Mandalorian is willing to trade in his camtono of the fossil fuel. 

Not enough. Maybe two camtonos, but not just one. Groaning, you rub your face and consider again. You could part with a few tip-yips and perhaps request that Paz took you to the city so you could acquire a new bacta shot and tip-yips. Fine. The freaking birds could go, but Paz would have to take you back to the city because you needed the eggs. 

"I've come to an arrangement," you admit grudgingly. Why did these little assholes like eggs so much? They were chanting the awful word over and over again. "They'll take the camtono of Exonium and..." You grumble about your tip-yips, hoping that he wouldn't hear you.

"They want your chickens too?"

"Yeah, they're being brats. Jawas really like eggs," you explained, huffing a breath and crossing your arms over your chest. "I'd hate to be a bother, but I'm going to need a ride to the city in order to get more. I can't live out here without a solid, renewable source of protein."

"A bother?" Paz rumbled, a chuckle crackling in the edge of his vocoder. "Tracyn... I owe you considerably more than being a taxi to the city.  I'll buy the tip-yips for you. And the bacta shot you had to use."

Well... that was a fair deal... right? You wanted to ask him to throw his shiny bucket into the mix and just stay here, but that would've been crossing a line. Smiling dolefully, you turned back to Tho -- the sweet smile being replaced by a grimace and begrudging glare, which on you was not at all intimidating. Actually, it was sort of comical and Tho laughed at your attempt to posture in front of the Mandalorian. 

Jawas were restless buggers and got their work underway immediately. You had to supervise, mostly because you could hear them being evel kenivals and had to thump a few of their heads to keep them from worming their grubby hands into places they shouldn't. It was going to be a long few days. Thankfully, the one saving grace you'd gotten out of all of this was that Jawas knew tech. Be that droids, starships, cruisers, speeders -- you could name anything and they'd know it. You had rapport with them, despite the fact you had to chastise them at least four times every hour. By nature, they were sneaksie monsters. So you used that to your advantage, because they didn't want to spend more time than was necessary to keep up their end of the bargain.

They had the proper lifts and equipment to hoist the ship up, which you learned was called the Kote. Pieces of metal slopped off, just as you'd predicted and it made you wince. The Kote was old, but before this dogfight, actually seemed as if it had been in good condition; well maintained and kept up to date. The Jawas fussed, complained, kicked and cried like petulant children about being put to work instead of thieving. But they helped. Again, they didn't want to be there forever and so they helped solder parts on, repair the hull, and even Tho had gone as far to berate you for improperly wiring connections to the engine. Jawas were intelligent, no matter how much people looked down on them, they knew what they were doing. 

By the end of the third day you were a fucking mess. Your muscles were trembling, fending off exhaustion and hyped up on gallons of caf. But you couldn't go to sleep. Not when the Jawas were here. Not when they could pilfer things when you weren't keeping hawk eyes on them. 

Paz had tried to get you to rest, but you couldn't. He didn't speak their language or know what little shits they could be. You sort of loved how annoying they could be, in their own unique way, but you also knew that you were the glue bonding this entire arrangement together. 

"You need to rest, Tracyn," he insisted as you dropped the wrench for the fourth time in under 10 minutes. 

"Al-almost done," you insisted, managing to pin a puffy glare over at a Jawa who was eying your wrench. They knew you were testy now, each hour that passed knocking off another bit of your ever vanishing patience. Actually, you were probably in the sphere of negative patience.

"The Jawas are packing up. Tracyn... Tracyn please, you're going to kill yourself from exhaustion and the heat-" Paz grabbed your shoulders, steering you away from the landing gear that you had continued to work on. You managed to stick your tongue out at the nearest Jawa before being brought into the Kote. Your eyes blinked a few times, cutting the difference from the brightness of day and the dim of the hull. Maker, had it really been three days? Your brain was fried and you were working on fumes. "Hey... hey can you hear me?"

Had he been talking? You blink again, finally focusing on the snapping fingers beside your ear. "Hmm?"

"You need to go to sleep," Paz decided firmly.

"B-but," you were too emotional for this right now. Immediately your eyes began to fill up with tears. You were letting him down. What if the Jawas started stealing stuff? You were almost done. Just a couple more hours and it would've been good to go. "I can do it. I still have enough energy. Maybe another cup of caf will do the trick."

"You've drank enough to fuel a starship," Paz reminded you duly, brushing away the frustrated tears from your eyes. "C'mere, shh now. You're just over tired-" he grabbed you, pulling you into an embrace on his chest. The cool beskar felt good against your clammy skin, neck lolling naturally into the crook beneath his helmet. "Maker I would have never guessed you had so much energy in you. And all you want are tip-yips and a bacta shot for this?"

"I'm a simple girl," you sniffle in defeat. "And I like eggs just as much as Jawas."

His chest rumbled and you felt the laugh before you heard it, but the sound relaxed your warbling, his hands sliding underneath you before cradling you like a child. Had you been in a more sensible state of mind, you might've protested in worry that he could be hurting his ribs. While he felt strong enough to don his armor again, that didn't mean that the lingering injury wasn't hidden beneath. He was taking you deeper into the ship, opening the door to a room that was dimly lit. Your lashes were fluttering, sleep trying to smother you completely, but you rebelled against it - trying to figure out what was going on.

He was setting you down on a bed, ooh Maker the bed felt so nice. There were furs and blankets, so this wasn't your bed. Didn't have fur on your bed. Smelled like him -- blaster residue, leather, oil, and some kind of soap... you couldn't place it because you didn't use soap in a sonic shower like a water one. But it was nice. "Hmmm," a soft moan emanated from your throat and you'd all but forgotten you hadn't cleaned off in three days either since beginning your crusade to finish fixing the Kote. You were out within seconds of your head touching the pillow.

Paz pulled off your boots for you. You'd passed out completely after being set down, all flustered and moody. He'd tried to stop you earlier, only receiving a few combative looks, which included you puffing out your cheeks like a frog and raising your shoulders in a mock attempt to seem bigger than you were. You weren’t mean or off putting; you were determined and willful. He had also been helping where he could with welding, since he wasn't completely useless when it came to repairs. But you didn't stop. Even he had taken a few breaks, trying to coax you into shutting your eyes for a few minutes, but you'd scarfed down your rations, inhaled a cup of caf, and went back to work. Honestly, it was quite admirable and cute. 

You'd given up your tip-yips to get him these parts, part of your survival to make certain he could get off this orange rock. Now that the ship was nearly complete, he was beginning to realize he didn't really want to. He liked waking up to someone making him breakfast, someone to have easy conversation with, to just... relax around. Being Mandalorian meant he didn't often have these down times. He constantly had to have his head on a swivel, watching his back, finger ready on the trigger. But these weeks, despite the pain from his injury, had been calming. You were calming. 

The more he saw you in your element, the more he realized how strong you were. Not in a physical aspect, but mentally. It took a certain kind of person to be able to live out on their own without falling into an abysmal depression. You took each day as it was, put a foot forward while smiling, and had one of the most chipper, cheery dispositions he'd ever had the honor of crossing paths with. To top that off, you were an excellent mechanic, engineer, and he liked your food. Your silliness was a coping mechanism and part of your undeniable charm. And Paz was falling hard for you, maybe just as hard as his ship had crashed to this planet and the canyons nearest to your farm. 

Even now, he couldn't keep his gaze off of you, all oil smeared, hair a mess of curls, tangled and dirty from laying in the sand and fixating on the task at hand. He had to give it to you, you were capable of inhuman feats of fixation. He wished half the Foundlings he taught were capable of even an ounce of your tempered focus. You were the type that if you set your mind to something, you'd read all the books you could get your hands on before trying to learn how to do it yourself. 

And now with the Kote in good condition, Paz knew that your time together was coming to a close. He had to get back to the Tribe, to the planet the covert had relocated on, and that meant leaving you behind. He really wanted to ask you to come with him, perhaps as a crewmate to help around the ship, but because he wanted the chance to explore these growing feelings... but your farm. You loved the blasted thing so much and he couldn't take that from you. He doubted you'd want to go. For now, he'd enjoy what time he had left with you; his little ray of sunshine.

---

You woke up, still groggy and bone weary from your three day stint of making repairs. Maker, why hadn't you listened and just set your head down, because you felt like shit right now. Glancing around, you noticed that you were in some sort of chamber, which appeared to be on a ship from metal walls and floor. Oh. This must've been Paz's room on the Kote. It was coming back to you. The Kote was a decent enough sized gunship that it had a captain's cabin and crew quarters. You remembered because you had been inside fixing things.

The corners of your mouth quirked and you grabbed the canteen of water sitting by the side of the bed, taking a few generous gulps before getting up. Oh... oh you were gross. Three days of sweltering heat, dirt, grime, and oil. Fuck, why had he put you in his bed? You were literally as smelly as a womp rat. Arms held out slightly, you waddle around, trying to locate the Mandalorian. Outside the cabin, you found him over by an open arsenal, jaw dropping at the ensemble of weapons that were hung neatly. Shit, you knew that Mandalorians considered weapons their religion, but you didn't think one person needed quite that many.

Paz turned and caught you staring, your arms still held out as it felt too grimy to put them back down. "How're you feeling, mesh'la?"

"Better," you admit honestly. "Dirty."

"Go wash up in the fresher," he offered, pointing in its direction.

"Uhm," you considered it for a beat before glancing back at him. "How do I use it?" That felt like a stupid question, but honestly you didn't know how. Sonic showers you just pressed a button to turn on. Water had things like... pressure valves, gauges, and oh dear lord you were overthinking something so simple but that's what you did. Everything was methodical up in that brain of yours and managing water flow and heat seemed overly complex. 

Paz got up and escorted you to the fresher, which was big enough to accomodate a good sized person, such as himself. A toilet, a sink, and a large shower. There was just one knob. "You turn it like this and then twist it this way if you want it warmer," he demonstrated by turning it on, water hissing like a snake and making you jump back into him. He didn't laugh at you, which made your thankful, cheeks burning as you watched it pitter down like rain into the drain. "I have some spare clothes you can borrow."

That you could borrow? One of his shirts was going to be a tent on you! But... your coveralls were filthy. "Thanks." He left you to it, closing the door behind him as you faced your newest challenge: taking a shower in water. Now, you'd been rained on before, but you'd never taken a shower in it. Clearing your throat, you began stripping, peeling off the offensive and smelly articles, before standing awkwardly in front of the shower. Finally, you tested it with a hand, snapping it back as if you'd been burnt. Oh, ok... so just wash in it... Seemed wasteful, but then again other planets weren't as water starved. Other planets were green and had oceans. Some had ice. 

You'd like to see them if it didn't mean leaving your farm. But how would that be possible? 

Rather than linger any longer as the water continued to billet into the glass door, you hopped in and slid the door shut. Ooooh, this was really nice. The water was just a little warmer than your skin, the way that the dirt and grim started to slide right off. Your curls soaked through, a thick heavy mop against your back. Soap. You glanced around, noticing a part of soap and a bottle of shampoo. Usually you just used deodorant, since in sonic showers you didn't wash with anything. This soap was what you had smelled in bed, full bodied and clean. Humming to yourself, you absolutely went to town. Strangely, you were feeling a lot cleaner than a sonic shower had ever made you feel. Layers of dead skin scrubbed off, flushed from how hard you'd worked it, to the point where you were pink and raw but oh-so-clean. 

When you turned the water off -- incorrectly at first, dousing yourself with ice cold water -- you popped your head out to see that a towel and clothes had been left in place of your dirty ones. How was he so thoughtful? Why was he so thoughtful? It made you smile regardless, taking up the towel and drying yourself off, a pleasant warmth radiating in your chest from the Mandalorian’s thoughtfulness. Your curls were soaked through and required being tied up in the towel to scrunch off some of the dampness. Paz had left you one of his undershirts and... nothing else. At first you were a little worried that you'd not be covered up enough, but that quickly changed after sliding it on with a pair of socks. You were pretty much covered, like a child trying on their parent's clothing. The shirt fell over your knees, the socks -- also his -- came up to your knees. The long sleeves were waaay too long for you, so you had to push those up before stumbling out of the fresher. No underwear. Those were being cleaned too.

So the moment you stepped out, a rush of fresh air went right underneath the hem of the shirt and attacked between your thighs. You swallowed hard and then managed to look over at Paz, as he'd returned to checking on his weapons. "How was it?"

"I've been in water before, but not like that. Just torrential downpours," you admit, coming to sit across from him, pulling the shirt down over your knees carefully so you don't accidentally flash him. "But it was really nice. You get to do that everyday?"

"Yes, as long as there's enough water in the tanks," he replied, which made you stiffen. How much water had you used? You'd been in there for a while. "Water isn't that expensive on other planets."

"Oh," you relaxed. "Weird." Turning your head down you look at what you believe it was a rifle, carefully taken apart. "Why did you do this? Was it broken?"

"Hm?" he glanced back down. "I was cleaning it."

"Oh, I didn't know they had to be cleaned." You wish you hadn't said that, because Paz was looking at you -- with what you could only assume was a shocked or incredulous expression beneath his helmet.

"You've... never cleaned that blaster that you have?"

"Uhhhhh," you tried to dredge up any memory of cleaning it, but came up blank. "No."

"Have you ever fired it? I can't imagine there's much here you'd need it for."

"I've fired it," you huffed, crossing your arms over your chest. You weren't a good shot. Not really. Especially since you didn't have a reason to practice. You just figured having it might save you from a chance encounter with any sort of wildlife that didn't get along with you. Which had yet to happen due to your natural affinity with them.

"How often?"

Again, no immediate answer. "Dunno, maybe like... once a year to check it." That was pushing it. You hadn't fired it in the last year, but you were trying to make yourself not sound half that bad.

He got up, finding your utility belt and removing the dingy little blaster. It looked so pitiful when compared to his clean, neatly arranged rifle. He sat back down and patted the space beside him. "C'mere, let's take a look." You scooted over to his side of the table obediently, anxious as to the wisdom a Mandalorian could impart. "Maker, this hasn't been oiled in ages-" he was trying to take it apart, the rusted bolts grinding with sand caught between them. Your face was starting to burn -- swelter actually -- because you knew that wasn't right, didn't take a genius to know that. It sounded awful.

He forced the slide off and there was a snap, the tiny little screw crumbling completely in a puff of metal and rust. "Well..." he started. "I'm surprised it still fired."

"Maybe..." you whispered self consciously. "I haven't tried recently."

"That's good... in it's own way," he assured you, despite the fact your blaster was most definitely broken because of your own negligence. "Here, let's take a look at mine instead. You're not going to be able to salvage that."

He removed his own blaster, twice the size of yours, and clean as a whistle. "Now, pistols come in different shapes and sizes, utilize different types of plasma -- some even use slugs. This is a standard cartridge pistol, but it's been made for my own hand. Slide comes off one the top like this-" Paz dove into the details, removing each piece, demonstrating in front of you the proper and safe manner in which it came apart. Your attention was rapt, soaking it in like a sponge, the details, where you needed to clean and oil and how often you should do it. Apparently, if you were practicing, you should clean it later in the evening -- which you'd never done. Letting the residue sit on the metal wasn't good, it corrode in the inner workings and the weapon wouldn't last as long as it could. 

"Show me how to put it back together now," he requested, leaving it on the table disassembled.

You liked puzzles and that's what this was. One, intricate puzzle. He'd done it piece by piece, so this wasn't really much of a challenge. Rocking forward on your knees, you started with the grip, unlocked the trigger mechanism and began returning the parts to their home. You pinched your finger once, but it didn't so much more than make you suck a little air before continuing. Finally, you had a weapon in your hand, just as when Paz had removed it from his holster.

"Aren't you forgetting something?"

All the pieces were gone until he opened his glove and revealed the firing pin, the most important part and you'd built the pistol around nothing. Without the firing pin, it was all just for show. "Were you hiding that?"

"Wanted to see if you'd notice," he mused, sounding as if he were smiling beneath that bucket.

"That's not very nice, now I have to take it apart again," you sighed deeply, reaching for the firing pin, but he snaked his arm away and from your grasp. "Hey!" You followed after him, realizing that he was teasing you, keeping the last piece just out of your grasp as you flailed, trying to steal it from him, failing spectacularly as he deftly evaded your clumsy jabs. 

"The firing pin is the most important part. I'm surprised you managed to put it together and not realize," Paz continued to elude you, which was impressive considering how big he was and that you were now standing up, still trying to wrestle it from him. 

"I'm a farmer, not a Mandalorian," you remind him, grunting as he palms your stomach and pushes you just out of reach, your short arms struggling in vain. 

"You're a lot more than just a farmer. Engineer and mechanic also come to mind," he let the firing pin come just within grasp and you went for it, taking the bait greedily just like Jumbles ate the eggs right off your lap. Paz removed his hand from your stomach and you fell. 

Sailing right through the air, you tried to catch yourself as the breath whooshed out of you, heart thundering at the loss of stability, a garbled yelp escaping the back of your throat. Then there were hands, just as quickly as there hadn't been, cushioning your fall before you made impact with Paz's lap. You weren't a fan of that trick, trying to calm down as he picked you up and righted you. "Y-y-you couldn't j-just gi-ive it t-t-to me?"

"No, that was a little too fun," he admitted to your chagrin. The beskar was cold, leaching through the thick shirt you were wearing, which had climbed up a few inches since you'd been dumped in his lap, nearly baring your ass. You shivered, the firing pin finally in your grasp, glancing down at the pistol as your heart rate began to pick up in an accelerando. "Fix it."

Like this? On his lap? Oh dear, your mind was already beginning to churn a little slower than usual. Shifting, you fumbled for the pistol, fingers clammy and not as deft and confident as usual. Your loose curls puffed around you, mostly dry from your shower and smelling absolutely divine. But it was sort of in your way. You blew a curl out of your face, jolting when you felt a gloved finger trace along the crown of your ear and tuck a few strands out of the way. Your heart picked up again. Now you were glaring at the pistol as if it'd called your mother a fat bantha. Don't be distracted. You can do this. You can-- a hand wrapped around your midsection, dragging you further onto his lap, flush against his cuirass. Ok, you weren't thinking of anything more than each minute thing that the Mandalorian did.

From the steady rise and fall of his chest, the palm on your leg massaging into your flesh, the other one tight against your abdomen. Focus! He was doing this on purpose. This was all a part of his game -- and. you. weren't. gonna. lose. Were you a sore loser? Honestly, you hadn't played many games except with the Jawas and you liked to rub it in their rude little faces when you won. So yeah, you probably were a sore loser. 

"Mesh'la," he drawled in your ear, causing you to tilt your neck back, throat bobbing as you finally had the pistol taken apart enough that you could return the firing pin to its home. "Can you be a good girl for me?"

You were convinced he was still trying to distract you. "W-why?"

"Because you look so pretty putting that pistol back together. Can you be good for me?" he murmured and that's when you realized it, this was a turn on for him. Seeing you, someone absolutely clueless about weapons, learn from him and then put it together piece by piece... You froze where you were, wondering how to perceive this new bit of information. You were already growing flustered, a combination of arousal and competitiveness making your cheeks hot and attention wane. There was something incredibly sexy about trying to impress a Mandalorian with your newly found skills in taking a pistol apart, even if you weren't a good shot. You just hadn't thought that he'd enjoy it so much.

"What do you want me to do?" you questioned softly, your rapid pace grinding down slowly, nearly to a halt. Replaced now with the gunning of your heart rate and the ever increasing blush jetting across your features. 

"Finish and then close your eyes," he instructed. 

Nodding, you completed the last pieces of the puzzle and reached to place the pistol down, finding that your arms were too short to reach the table. His hand moved from your leg, taking it and sliding it back into his holster. The next breath you took stuttered, your nerves getting the better of you as you closed your eyes. Paz shifted and then pressed a button on his vambrace, plunging the cabin into total darkness. You couldn't see, because you hadn't opened your eyes, but you could tell by the way your lids were now completely dark.

A soft click, followed by hydraulic hissing made you tilt, steadied by the man before you before your heart rocketed into your throat. The thick blanket of your hair was pushed to the side, scratchy facial hair meeting the tender side of your neck, and Maker -- oh, it was his mouth. The realization made you groan, a strangled, pitiful noise as you comprehended why he'd asked you to close your eyes. Just another safety precaution on top of the cover of night in the Kote. He sucked at your skin, biting marks down the side which burned as they were exposed to the air. 

You were making the most delicious mewling noises as he kissed your skin, confirming that his decision was certainly worth it. He owed you more than this he thought, but he was also on borrowed time. In his shirt, trying to learn about weapons after he'd broken your rusted out blaster, and then managing to fixate on putting it back together despite his roaming hands... You'd done a good job too and his trick had been rather underhanded. You had put the pistol together with what you were given and he couldn't fault you for that. But perhaps he had been hoping you'd notice right away. He was still impressed that you'd been able to do it at all. There were a lot of pieces to a gun and you'd been undaunted. Then again, you were good with machines, so he hadn't expected anything less from someone who had taught themselves how to repair a starship from books.

You were precious and didn't deserve to be alone. He didn't want to leave you alone. He wanted more time to sit at a table with you, to teach you how to defend yourself, to show you all the places you were missing that were just as beautiful and wild as your home planet -- but in unique ways of their own. He wanted to bottle your sunshine and take it with him. He was afraid to let you go, afraid you'd meet your parents' fate, and that his world would be a little darker if he came back to this planet to say hello and found out you were gone. That's why this felt right, because he wanted you and didn't want to frighten you by saying it -- forcing your hand in coming with him when you loved it here. 

And what did he have to offer other than himself? A constantly moving home? A covert that had to hide in the shadows? Being gone for long periods of time when he had to go on hunts to provide for the Tribe? 

His mouth met the hollow of your throat, you'd been slowly turning in his grasp to his will. Cradling you in one arm, bent down to lavish attention on your neck, his other palm meeting your chest again. Ankles twisted out into the darkness in front of you, your own hands clinging to his leg as you held yourself firm, pushing your chest out a little, into his grasp as he finally crested over your jaw and met your own mouth. You were overwhelmed in an instant, an explosion of heat and sensation that rocked your whole body as you got lost in his embrace. You already knew his lips were soft, but flush to yours, they were heaven and you never wanted them to leave. 

He was gentle, so astonishingly gentle for such a large, imposing man. Kindly plying at your mouth before you were the one who lost your patience. Your lips parted and you licked his eagerly, seeking entrance, wanting to feel all of him. He acquiesced, filling your mouth with his heat, tongue interlocking and a gasp causing you to sputter as he squeezed your nipple. When... when did his hand get under the shirt? You hadn't noticed, distracted entirely by the electricity you felt while kissing him. 

He broke away and you whimpered, thumbs swirling circles around the stiffening peak of your nipple, flesh pebbled. "Good girl... can I take it off?"

"It's your shirt, you can take it back whenever you want," you breathed, deserving a light chuckle as he pulled it up and over your head. Careful to keep your eyes shut, your bare ass met the beskar and you hissed.

"Let's move to the bedroom," he suggested.

You nod, about to get on your own two feet when he gets up with you in his arms. You hoped his ribs weren't hurting, but you felt a bit guilty in admitting that you sort of didn't care, because you were wondering about what was going to happen. He placed you carefully on the bed and from the sound of it, he was reaching into a drawer. 

"Mesh'la? I'm going to put this over your eyes. Just in case?" he offered it to you so that you knew what it was, the soft gossamer material sliding against your pads. A blindfold? 

"Ok." You wanted his mouth back, squirming as you waited and he secured the blindfold around your head. While it was unfortunate that you couldn't see his body, you were still highly aroused by the amount of trust he had in you to ask for just closed eyes and now a blindfold. Huffing anxiously, you gripped one of your breasts, thumbing your nipple while waiting, wondering what he was doing. 

Finally, after a couple of minutes, he returned, the bed depressing as he climbed onto it. Robbed of your sight, you leaned heavily on your sense of hearing and touch. And your hearing was shot, really only aware of the pounding of your pulse as you yearned to be touched again. A hand planted beside you, warmth radiating off of him as if he were a heater, before he kissed your collar, jolting you like a little shock of electricity, a sigh of relief following and easing your shoulders. Why... why was he doing this? Not that you were complaining, Maker no, you definitely weren't complaining -- it's just... No one had ever spent this much time on you. 

He was sucking welts into your skin, each one sending lancing ripples of pleasure across your exposed flesh, as he made way down to your breasts which, admittedly, made you a bit nervous again. "Mesh'la?" he noticed that you were holding your breath. "What's wrong?"

"I-they're sensitive. And... in the past-" Oh you were going to ruin the mood, but what if he accidentally hurt you too? That would definitely ruin the mood. He’d been careful before, but this wasn’t last night and you were fully exposed for him to do as he pleased.

"I'm going to be gentle, I know..." he assured you, pressing featherlight kisses around your breasts before taking a nipple in his mouth. He teased the skin lightly, nibbling, sucking. All doubts you had evaporated like water after the wet season and you exhaled deeply again, chased with a moan of agreement. "I'd never hurt you, mesh'la. Never." And you believed him, with all your heart you believed this terrifying, intimidating warrior of legend would never hurt a hair on your head.

Massaging the breast he wasn't kissing, you arched into his palm, core melted completely, taken aback by how much this was doing for you. Your thighs pressed together, trembling with anticipation, your bundle of nerves vying for attention. He moved lower, dragging his tongue along your ribs, creating more marks on your soft tummy, before his beard scratched along your hips and you bucked. A strong hand guided your legs apart and you didn't resist, needing attention down there as you panted as if you’d run two miles and the rest of your body vibrated in expectancy. 

You were expecting his hand, so when the warmth of his mouth met you down there you actually screamed. 

"Woah! Hey, it's alright-" he jumped up, holding your hip down as you almost began hyperventilating. 

"S-sorry. Y-you su-urprised m-me," you stammered through your confusion and fright, trying to gulp down breaths to steady your heart rate. Now, you'd given blowjobs before, but none of the men had ever reciprocated. "Yo-you don't have t-to." You'd never even suggested it before, coming under the assumption that it was just a dirty thing that men didn't like to do. "D-don't feel obligated be-because I-"

"Has no one done this to you before?"

You shook your head, cheeks flushing, thankful for the darkness to hide your face. Or... that's what you thought. You didn't know there was a light on in the room and Paz could see everything going on. So then why did you shake your head? You were too frazzled to think straight.

"Mesh'la, I want to. I want to taste you everywhere."

The confession made you whimper wistfully. "But I thought-" that guys didn't like to do this.

"I don't know why someone wouldn't have by now," Paz admitted, caressing the skin he'd marked up, admiring your complexion and body.. Even as he told you this, part of him was further aroused that he'd be the first to take this from you. "You're so pretty. Everywhere. Especially down there. Will you let me?"

Part of you was disconcerted, battling with the idea that you'd thought was a no-go for most people. But then you thought about how nice the warmth of his mouth had felt and the trust you had in him to make you feel good. Finally, you nodded again. 

Paz returned between your legs, carefully warning you as he blew on your clit before lathing his tongue over it. Your neck jerked and you arched immediately, the new, foreign sensation making you cry out, but not of surprise. Gripping the blankets, your legs trembled, his palm keeping you from closing and squeezing on him. His tongue was softer than his fingers, more dexterous and able to fill your clit up entirely, tracing it in a new way that felt erotically luxurious and overwhelming. "So sweet, love. And wet. All of this for me?"

You hummed in agreement, barely able to control yourself as you clenched your teeth between huffs. Why had no one done this before? Stars, you had no idea what you were missing out on. How much more was there that you'd not experienced? He sucked on your bud, switching between lavishing attention and swirling circles. He trailed down, his tongue dipping between your folds, the insides of your sensitive thighs catching the rough edge of his facial hair. 

He returned to your aching nerves, laying into you as his tongue flicked quickly, clutching your thigh as your breaths became more labored. You couldn't see, but you felt it coming, scooping low into your pelvis, pressure building to the point where you felt the reins of your control slipping and you got choked up. He might've spoken had his mouth not been what was dragging you to the proverbial edge, destroying you, obliterating you like the Death Star had done to countless planets. You disintegrated, the same bird flying over the edge, but this time both wings were healed and you soared into the sky. You kept riding, his mouth replaced with fingers as he continued his ministrations through your orgasm. 

"That's it mesh'la," he soothed, the deep voice cradling you as you panted and came down, legs clutching as your clit became intensely oversensitive. He licked between your folds, removing his hand from your swollen clit and began lapping up the mess you'd made. 

"W-wh-wha," you were breathy and a little incoherent, speech slurring as you tried to fumble around for him blindly. 

"What is it?" he inquired calmly.

"Wh-what about you?"

"Do you want to keep going?"

"Mhm."

"Tell me what you want," he edged up the bed, coming down to lay beside you, returning his mouth to yours. He was wet, facial hair damp from eating you out, and his tongue was tacky. The taste was foreign, but not unpleasant and a little sweet. He wasn't wearing any beskar now, which must've been why it had taken him a moment to come to bed. Your palm met his bare chest and you savored the ability to finally be able to explore it. You were careful, not wishing to brush too hard against his ribs, but what you felt was as impressive as what you'd seen before. Your fingers butterflied over his strong pectoral muscles, trailing to meet in the center as you coasted between his ribs and to his solid abdomen. He was broad, hips bigger than yours, a wisp of hair descending below the belt. 

"This," you slid your hand underneath his waistband, not surprised to find him hard after playing with you. It'd been like this last time. Even though you claimed it, you were partially terrified of trying to accommodate his cock. A thrill rushed through you, the idea of the immense pleasure it could bring or how it'd fuck you within an inch of your life. There was no knowing until you tried and you wanted to try. 

He huffed in your ear, "You certain?"

"Yes," you asserted, squeezing him and enjoying the moan that followed; your small palm couldn’t even fully encircle his girth. Yet it was the unmodulated tone of his bass, filling your belly up with warmth as he laid beside you. Stars, his voice was so much better, if that were even possible. Every breath, noise, and huff no longer crackling with static and the full heat of it numbing your senses. 

"You... should be wet enough, but-" he considered you, Maker he wanted to do it, but you were so small. You weren't frail, you'd proven this by now, but the difference in size between the two of you was severe. You only reached up to his chest while standing, not even his shoulders. He was afraid of breaking you. 

Now your hands had wormed down and you cupped his balls, squeezing all recourse from his mind as he moaned again. "I trust you."

Paz drew in a deep breath, filling his diaphragm as he considered the logistics very, very briefly. His ribs still hurt and they were aching now. "You'll have to go on top, mesh'la."

You were always up for a challenge, despite the fact that his words sort of scared you. On top? As in getting speared by him? Absolutely split open with nowhere to go? He was rubbing reassuring circles into your side, giving you the time you needed to think about this before you finally gave another 'mhm'. Hooking your fingers of the waistband of his pants, you helped guide them off before he sprung up in your palm. Able to estimate where his hips were, you threw a leg over and pressed his shaft into the heat of your folds, beginning to slick him with your wetness. Each stroke against him was debilitating, from the sensation of your pussy, to the way your perky breasts bobbed, and the cascade of hair fanned out in a curly cloak behind you. Paz was absolutely entransed. 

Finally, you decided you were wet enough to make your attempts. Realizing what you were about to do, he gripped your hips as you came up onto your knees, touching his weeping head to your heat. Your legs began to quiver, anxious but also excited, blood rushing as quickly and suddenly as a flash flood as you tested carefully. Just his head stretched you wide and there was more to follow. This was gruelling work, so painfully slow that you weren't even certain it was possible as you coasted down an inch and stiffened. Drawing a deep breath, you shimmied more and let out a heart stopping moan. The rest of him slicked up and you yelped as he was buried to the hilt.

Both of you froze, mostly you because you hadn't expected the rest to go in so easily. Not easily exactly. Your entire insides felt as if they'd been rearranged at this point and you didn't know if that was good or bad or if moving would make it worse. So you sat there, on the brink of panic.

Paz was frozen because you were so fucking tight. His cock felt as if it were being strangled by you and you weren't even doing anything. His head fell heavy against the pillow and he tried not to spend himself in that moment, but it was difficult. You were silken inside, the tight walls a vice grip around his cock and pulsing around him. 

And then you moved, testing the waters a little bit and bucking forward as you knew this was going to obliterate you. Not in the same sense as the orgasm Paz had brought you to before, but in the sense you were going to hurt tomorrow. Even now your legs ached as you mounted him, refusing to move properly as you tried to ride him. 

He could see your struggling and the valiant effort you were making to move, but he gleaned that this was overwhelming for you too, your pubic area distended slightly as your tiny frame managed to fit him. Maker, the sight of that caused him to shift, grinding his hips into you, watching as you released the lip you were biting and cry out gently. He could see his own form in you, stretching you, but somehow still fitting aside from the telltale bulge.

"We can... we can stop-" Paz offered despite the fact he didn't want that. He wanted to keep going. He wanted to see how he moved inside of you, filled you up, and made you whimper. His thoughts were derailing and he was losing his composure. 

"N-no. I just... need help," you told him dolefully.

He could do that. "Just tell me if it's too much." He began slowly before smoothing his hands along your hips. The last thing he wanted to do was break you before leaving you on your own. The rhythm was slow at first, each soft strike causing you to moan in protest, but it was the slowness that hurt more. You began to move into him, picking the pace up a bit, working in tandem so that his hands could guide and assist your trembling legs. It still hurt, but it was a blistering white burst, each hit against your pelvis a battle between pleasure and pain. Maker, you'd never been stretched so wide before and it was so good, an experience of ecstasy you’d never had the honor of battling, clenching your jaw as you fought for control and were beginning to unravel at the seams. 

You moaned his name finally, incapable of keeping a straight face, the result an even quicker assault into your cunt, his fingers brushing back against your clit as you panted. 

"Mesh'la, Maker-- you're so fucking good. So tight and perfect. Cum for me a second time? Will you?"

"Mm," you couldn’t even talk as you could feel it building up in you as he drew quick circles, pounding into you, your back aching as you tensed. Your ailing core was glazing over and your eyes rolling back into your head as you started to fall away. "A-ah. I-I'm going to, b-but-" Where would he finish? You weren't on any kind of birth control, you hadn't needed to be for a couple of years now. 

He shifted, throwing you down against the mattress with ease, before continuing to strike into you. This angle was different, his mouth meeting yours, the soft mutterings in a language you didn't understand not mattering. You knew he was saying sweet things in your ear. "Where?" he knew it was coming, you were on the brink of an orgasm, toes curling. 

"O-on me," you managed, just as your body betrayed you, muscles snapping into rigidity and voice halting to a pitiful whine in the back of your throat as you lost sense of up and down. You were snared by the rapture of each forceful pound into your cunt, fingers still tracing your clit, until you were overwhelmed entirely and mumbling incoherently. 

It took all his will as you clamped down around him, walls fluttering and back arching beneath him. The darling noises in tandem with how good you felt made it gut wrenching to pull out and stroke out the last few bits of his orgasm, spending his seed on your breasts and stomach. The pearly ropes flew from him as if he hadn't just been sucked dry a few nights ago. Glistening in the low light with his cum, your chest continued to bob as you came down from your high a second time. You were a pretty sight, one that he admired as you tried to catch your breath. 

Eventually, you brushed your chest, coming away with the sticky cum. Bringing it up, you slid your fingers into your mouth, suckling away the precious liquid just as you had done before. You savored the taste of him, finding yourself hungry for it again after last night. Paz was leaning back against the headboard, length twitching as he watched you lazily mop up his spent load and place it between those plush lips and swallow. You missed a few spots in your blindness, but Paz scooped it up, bringing it to your mouth where you cleaned his fingers. He kissed you after, an insistence mess of his lips as he tried to prove what he was feeling with that kiss. 

"Mesh'la," he purred, pulling you back across the bed and into his arms. You fit perfectly enough that he could snake his arm around your hip and nestle onto the curve of your ass.  "Are you hurt? How are you feeling?"

"Good.. tired, but good," you mumbled, naturally nuzzling into the side of his pec as his arm came around you like that other night. Your legs ached, numbed slightly and from how you’d been split open further than ever before, but you didn't regret any of it. "Was it good for you? I'm sorry I had to ask for help."

"Don't be sorry, I didn't think you'd even be able to fit me," he chuckled, brushing your thick hair back and coasting his thumb in crescents along your hipbone. "You were amazing. So perfect. Just wish my ribs weren't still hurting."

"Are they ok right now?" you reached up gingerly, grazing over the afflicted side. 

"They're fine." 

"Maybe I shouldn't have... you did turn me over at the end..."

"Shh, I'm fine," he assured you, grabbing the edge of the blanket and tugging it over both of your forms. "Just go to sleep. I'll be here in the morning. You're safe."

"I know," you mumble, nearly incoherent as you're pushing a kiss into his collarbone. "I know."

--- 

He was there like promised when morning came, strong, solid, warm, and snuggled close, but you were also duly reminded that you hadn't been home a lot in the last few days while working on the Kote. You really didn't want to leave his side, because there were probably only a few days left of getting to be beside him, but you also couldn't ignore your animals. The idea of pulling away made your every fiber shriek in disdain, because you’d wanted this more than anything. To wake up beside someone, to be in their arms, and to just waste an entire day there.

"Paz," you whispered, poking his chest lightly. 

"Hm?" he sounded groggy, as if you'd woken him up by doing that.

"I have to go check on the farm," you said apologetically. Truly, you didn’t want to go. "Do you have your helmet nearby so I can get up?"

His fingers tightened around you, the idea of having to lose you not a fond one, but you had responsibilities. Sighing, he grabbed it off of the nightstand and slid it back on, smothering the clean smell of you and the breaths he’d once felt against his cheek. Each moment that you both lingered like this staved off the eventual separation. Chasing it away like a bad dream. But sleep was coming and you couldn't keep that nightmare away forever, nor the sorrow that would chase after. "I'll meet you there in a bit."

You removed the blindfold after the sound of the helmet clicking back into place. Finally able to see, his chest was revealed to you and you could make out the lattice work of scars along it that you hadn't quite noticed before when you'd stripped him to heal him. They were hidden beneath his chest hair, but this close, you could really see them. Maybe you'd get to ask about them before he left. You tried not to wince at the idea, shoving it to the back of your mind after pressing a kiss to his chest. 

"Where did you put my clothes?" 

"In the ion cleaner, next to the fresher."

"See you soon," you hummed, heading out, naked as the day you were born to find your clothes where he'd told you. They were clean and fresh, vacant of oil and clay filled sand. Throwing it back on, you snapped the scrunchie on your wrist around your hair and smiled gently. This was his home, so neat and clean when it wasn't in disarray from a crash landing. It suited him, you decided. There was a homey feeling to it despite it just being a starship. Maybe that was because of the night you'd shared around the table, talking about something that was a part of his everyday life, leaning about it... he had described everything so well to you.

There was only one speeder bike, but you knew the path well enough that walking on this fine morning wasn't a big deal. Sunlight smiling over the ridge, not yet basking you in its warmth as it hadn’t crested the edge of the canyon. Trudging up the pass, you hummed a soft tune, finding that despite your legs being a kind of achy, that you're in a really good mood. It didn't really skim your mind that you hadn't seen Jumbles in a few days. He wasn't actually your pet, just a wild animal that liked your company. He was probably fine, hunting in the nearby passes while you only checked in periodically to feed the remaining tip-yips. Wait... How many days had it been? It might've been two since you went home.

Picking up your pace, you chugged up the rest of the hill and glanced at the coop. No chickens. Aw hell, did those fucking assholes take all of them? Usually they made pretty well on their bargains. Fuck. You'd have a stern talking to Tho next time you saw him. Maybe you'd be even angrier if you weren't in such a pleasant mood from your evening with Paz, but you were already destined to go to the city. Grumbling, you stomped over toward your home something catching your eye. Not something... more like a few things. There were a handful of speeder bikes out in front of your house.

Had someone stopped by? Ah, well as long as they hadn't dumped the place you supposed that was fine. Make themselves at home within reason. You went to the front door and opened it, somewhat excited to have other guests. Man, so many people all in such a short amount of time! 

And then your chipper smile slid right off. Sitting at your kitchen table was a pod of stormtroopers. "Uhhhhhhhh," you froze in the doorway. You were good at fixing things, but reacting on a dime during a stressful encounter? Shit. You were absolute massiff shit at that. 

"Do you live here?" one trooper inquired.

"Y-yeah," you looked between them, realizing that they were playing Sabacc. Ha. That was kind of funny. "Am I in trouble? Can I help you with anything?" You clasped your hands in front of you to keep them from shaking. The Empire had been looking for Paz. Is that why they were here? Nothing else on this planet that might interest them.

"Depends. Have you seen a Mandalorian?"

You giggle, because you're extremely nervous and that seems the logical thing to do. Had you seen a Mandalorian? You'd slept with him last night. Was that the Mandalorian they were looking for? "Nu-uh," you lied, hooking your fingers in your utility belt. "Why would a Mandalorian be all the way out here? Ain't nothing out here."

"You're out here," a stormtrooper pointed out. This one was in all black armor and he sounded more dangerous than the others. The grit of his tone raked unpleasantly down your spine and your anxious smile quavered. "What's a pretty little thing doing out in the middle of nowhere?"

"Workin'," you grumble.

"No husband? No family?" 

"Gotta husband," you protested, hoping that saying this would deter them from doing anything... bad. Kriff, what were you kidding, they were going to do whatever they wanted unless Paz was right behind you and you knew he wasn't. 

"No, you don't," the dark stormtrooper laughed. "You're here on your own. I know, because I went through this shack."

Fuck. Welp. You had two choices and you didn't have a blaster, so you turned around and fucking booked it. Flight. Definitely flight. You heard them shuffling after you, legs regrettably weak from your tryst with Paz and you were stubby and short. Adrenaline did a good amount of the work for you as you sprinted back down into the ravine, sorta praying a krayt dragon would pop up and save your sorry ass. 

"Stop running!" You were yanked right off your feet, held up by the back of your coveralls like a kitten. You garbled, losing a chunk of the oxygen in your lungs as you swayed. "You know where he is, don't you?"

"N-no! I do-on't know w-what you're talkin' 'bout!" You thrashed helplessly in his grasp, the dark trooper leaning in. 

"Mhm, so I'm guessing that your nonexistent husband gave these to you," he poked at a sensitive mark on your neck, making you gasp, completely forgetting that Paz had given you those. "I mean, if I found you out here on your own, I probably would've done the same. Look at you. Must be lonely to let some random mando sleep with you. Tell us where he is and I'll show you a better time. What a real Mandalorian is like."

He was Mandalorian? He was wearing the wrong armor. You gave him a look down before bucking, continuing to thrash to no avail. Nothing ever happened on this planet. Why the one time something really good happened it was followed by the freaking Empire? 

"Stop," the trooper ordered, but you didn't, you just kept flopping around like a fish hoping he'd drop you. "Stop!" He slapped you so hard that you felt it in zip all the way down to your toes. Now you stopped, ears ringing and eyes unfocused as stars danced in front of your vision. "There. That's a good girl. Now tell me where the Mandalorian is and I'll be a little nicer next time." Good girl? No, he hadn’t done anything to deserve calling you that.

You gave him a contemptuous glare after your vision stopped spinning, still rather pitiful coming from you. He was waiting for an answer. So you cursed at him in Jawaese, deserving of another earth rending slap. 

"You've seen him. Where. Is. He?" he drew his blaster and pointed it at you, cold metal meeting your tender throat. "I thought people were hospitable on this planet. You've been nothing but a hassle. The Mandalorian's not worthy dying over. Just tell us where he is and we'll let you go."

Maybe the Jawas hadn't taken your tip-yips. How many days had the Imps been here? You glanced around, jaw stinging and weary from your fight. You were still off your feet like a petulant loth-cat being held by its scruff. The other troopers were milling around, kicking over supplies, they'd pushed 6PO to the ground and it couldn't get up, legs flailing, cricking quietly as it couldn't speak to ask for help. Jumbles wasn't around, which didn't make any sense. Jumbles was always around. Jumbles was-- and then you saw him. Over by the barn door where you stored your speeder bikes, his legs sticking out from the door. 

"Jumbles?" But you knew he wasn't going to get up. You knew you weren't going to see his stupid drooling face. You could feel the lack of lifeforce from him. They weren't going to let you go. No, one of the stormtroopers was pouring fuel all over the tip-yip coop, another was pilfering through your greenhouse. "Jumbles?!" You were more hysteric this time, blinking tears as you began crying over the massiff. 

The death trooper glanced in the direction of the barn. "Oh that?" he tilted his blaster away to laugh. "That thing was your pet? Thought only Tuskens kept them. Learn something new everyday. So, what's it gonna be, dala?"

[oh-for-fic-sake]

Undercooked Popcorn

Masterlist

You and Konner have a mini training session in the barn and get in trouble with Clark.

Warnings: fluff, Swearing,

A/n: Here is a small fluff piece I have been working on enjoy XX

Taglist: @iloveyouyen​

After the initial move to Mrs Kent's house they had given you a week to settle in before getting stuck in to your school work. Not only you but konner as well letting you both bond which you had, the both of you had become close...konner had opened up quicker than you had, already secure about his place in the family you on the other hand was less sure. You had a trouble with it you wanted to believe that you was here permanently , that this was it where you belonged but you couldnt help holdingnyour breath still waiting for something to happen. Currently you and konner was in the old barn, you'd both unconsciously decided that it was your hang out, the place you go to escape the adults and get to know one another without the eagle eyes of the others. Somewhere to get away from an overbearing Clark who seemed to take the term mother hen to a whole new level, it wasnt necessarily bad but it was hard for you to go from no one gives a shit to holy shit this guy is consistently fussing over you. You knew he was trying to be inclusive and trying to solidify your place in the family reassuring you, wanting to show you he cared. Which was good youll admit you liked the attention in a way, you'd not had this type of parental guidance for a long long time but you'd didn't realoze how suffocating it was. You also suspected that your injuries had something to do with it aswell, you couldn't exactly fault him for it.

So here you were hiding out in the barn with konner as Clark flitted about the place doing odd chores here and there .Martha had gone out to work and would be home after the lunch rush at work.  You rolled across the blanket that covered the hay pile your lime green cast glowing in the noon sun you winced as the light reflected off of it and shuffled moving it into a shadowed area. Currently you and konner were shareing details about your abilities, something the both of you had avoided and danced around until you got more comfortable with each other.

"Soo you don't make things? You just stretch'em" you nodded at him as he sat above you cross legged on one of the wooden cross beams that spanned the large space.

"Yeah pretty much..I can't touch living things tho, no plants or animals or people" you said glancing at your arm sighing it would have been nice to just fix it but no  you had to wait it out.

"That sucks..." you nodded mournfully but then tilted your head back to get a better look at him.

"So what about you? Your an ET wannabe right?" He laughed flipping you the bird"Fuck you" you giggled as he shook his head jumping down from the beam landing just before you.

"Kryptonian is the politically correct term I think....Well hybrid... I'm half Clarks and... Half human" he said dusting off a little to sit on the hay across from you. You noticed the hesitation and the way he swerved around his own comments. Deciding to leave it be you opted to ignore it, much to Konners relief.

"So can you do all the stuff he can?" Konner smiled and shrugged

"You mean dad? Yeah sort of, I can do most...We are still waiting to see if we're exactly alike but I've got the strength speed and flight....I can do the lazer thing to which is cool but I havent found a practical use for it yet...Or a way to practice that shit is hot." You hummed at him then looked out of the open barn doors to the corn field.

"Corn?" He tilted his head following your gaze confused

"What?" You smiled at him Sitting up letting your arms fall into your lap

"Pop some corn...I mean theres a field right there...." he looked at the rows of corn catiously.

"Popcorn...You want me to use my laser eyes to...Get you a snack? How is that gojng to help me?" You rolled your eyes at him grunting."Oh for fuck sake...get unpopped popcorn and I will throw them in the air and you pop'em with your melty eyes.... you know target practice...And if I happen to catch some with my mouth its a bonus!" He sat up a little it wasn't a bad idea but Clark wouldn't like it.He doesnt like him practicing without him here.

"What about dad? Won't he be pissed?" You laughed and shook your head.

"Not really not like anyone can see us out hear and Clark did say we can practice around the place" Konner's grin fell he was worried that you hadn't really...Adapted? well you had...But you wont refer to the others as Dad and Grandma. As far as he was concered you were his sister already but he just really wanted you to know it was okay...That you really did have a family now. His dad and Grandma had told him not to push but he got the feeling you wanted to...Somethjng was holding you back.

"..You do know he is technically your dad now to right... You can call him dad and you can call Grandma, Grandma they wont be mad....I think they would like that." you sighed looking down, you knew that but it just... You didn't know, was it disrespectful to your real parents? You'd only been here a week? Surely it was to early...Even if it felt right, natural. He waved a hand at you

"You dont have to...I just didn't want you not to.. you know..Incase you thought they didn't want you to thats all, don't want you to have stupid thoughts like that holding you back" you blinked at him smiling sadly

"I-I do but...I still dont think I will be here long...I'm gonna slip up, if I ever accidentally hurt Martha I'm gone"  he frowned at you

"No...If that happens; which I don't think it will, but if it does then we deal with it togethet...you wont get very far if you do run...Me and dad will bring you back home and we talk things out .Thats what family is, we stay together and help each other, your my little sister, the first person my age I don't have to worry about hurting so much. I can relax more around you because you can protect yourself if thing get to much, you think im gonna let you leave over an accident? Fuck no like Dad keeps saying your here now, your a kent and your stuck with us...I hope you see that sooner rather then later it can't be nice always being ready to run" your lip quivered eyes filling with tears as he explained this, the conviction in his voice how he spoke with absolute certainty. Unwilling to cry in front of him you simply nodded to him. Getting the message he patted your arm then disappeared for what seemed like seconds with a small bag of unpopped corn cernals.

"Show off" you sniffed moving to wipe your eyes only to hiss when you cracked yourself on the head with your cast you whined rubbing to sore spot and froze when Konner held out some tissues to you

"I grabbed them inside" you smiled at him meekly. He gave you a soft look, he hated seeing you struggle but he had said what needed to be said, said what he had needed to hear when it was him all those years ago. Quickly he changed his expression and smirked tossing you the bag of popcorn cernals you opened them swiftly still fighting a few tears back then looked around deciding on the safest area to throw them.

"So... Just to clarify if this falls down you will save me right?" he smiled nodding"Of course I will, you will be out of here before it even started falling down" you nodded then took two cernals in hand.

"so one or two?" he smiled and held up a finger. One. you threw it up and shreiked as he tried to ignite it missing ...well you only noticed he missed when you heard the little tap of it hitting the floor you both laughed seeing two tiny holes in the side of the barn. You grabbed another and threw it up he missed again, but he ws closer than before.This carried on for another few minutes with you oth getting excited as he got closer just skimming one, the heat from his vision making it partially pop.

"Oh no that one dont count you didnt hit the fuckjng thing!" He argued

"It popped tho!"  You blinked at him.

"Okay half a point ready to go again?" He fist pumped then nodded readying himslef to go agajn.Finally thirty six cernals later he got it. You both jumped up.

"FUCK YEAH WOO!" You quickly moved to the popped popcorn on the floor dusting it off then ate it, you held up your hands to him chewing slowly as if you was a food critic then shook our head.

"Yep no under cooked" you both stared then burst out into hysterics crying with laughter.

"Lets try two this time!" You nodded moving to the bag pulling two more cernals out of the bag when you turned back round you froze. Shit.

"Why are there singe holes all over this barn?" Konner jumped turning around faceing an unamused Clark, who stood frowning at the both of you with his arms crossed. You and konner shared a look then peered around the barn...There was lots of them.. Some were just peep holes others longer and had charred lines around them. In all the fun youd both forgot where you were, and the barn now looked like it had taken a spray of bullets from a firing squad.

"Well? Konner? Y/n?" You cleared your throat and smoved to stand beside Konner

"Konner was...practicing, training" Clark raised an eyebrow shifti g his weight to one foot.

"Hmm? what exactly? See how he could burn the barn down without setting it on fire?" You both winced at his tone...He really wasnt impressed.

"You know this barn is older then me? It survived me growing up playing in it, yet an afternoon with the both of you and it looks about ready  to keel over?....What were you both doing?" You moved to open your mouth but Clark stopped you holding up a hand.

"And if you try to get smart with me and say training again your going to be grounded for much longer then you already are young lady!" You flinched back. Wow. He had never spoke to you like that...Well not since you met him, he was always so laid back and fun, the type of adult you listened to because they were so chill but who knew he could switch over to no nonsense stern dad so effortlessly... You wavered uncertain how to approach him like this, it had been a while since youd cared about an adults opinion of you and you really didn't want Clark to hate you turning you looked to konner for help.

"Well...we were seeing how accurate my aim was...So y/n was throwing popcorn cernals and I was trying to pop them....I did miss a few times." Clark blinked then scanned the barn. He sighed shaking his head at his son exasperated.

"Konner... We've spoke about this I will take you to the fortress to train, but not here you could hurt yourself!" Clark stopped his scolding when he saw you take a large step infront of konner

"It was my fault I wanted to see so I came up with the idea...He was just trying to cheer me up." You stood firm shaking a little, you didn't like Clark raising his voice, he didn't shout but it was enough to make you nervous of him. He fixed you with a look making you cower from him slightly then sighed shaking his head, he didn't want you to be scared of him.

"Thank you y/n. But even if it was your idea he still knows how I feel about it I'm disappointed in both of you. Your both grounded for the rest of the week, this was very reckless and I don't want to catch either of you doing this again are we clear?" You both nodded to him solonmly resigning yourself to a few days being stuck indoors. He sighed then smiled a little to tell you the truh he was happy in a way, you'd become close and were up to mischief, which was good? You could both be a little reckless and act your age. You both had someone to let loose with. But he couldn't help worrying over the two of you. Had you got to carried away the barn could have collapsed,  yes konner would have most likely got you both out but you were already hurt, already vulnerable and fragile.  He really didn't want to risk anything. Luckily it hadn't come to that and the damage to the barm wasn't that bad... A few new boards and a new cross beam at the top, regular humans would need to dismantle the roof to sort it out but him and konner could have it done in an afternoon, he would also have you help as he had no doubt that you'd encouraged your brother. He smiled chuckling catching the two teens by surprise.

"Popcorn...I mean it was obvious right?..Wish I'd thought of that one...Any way lets start sorting this out befor Ma gets home shouldn't take to long not like the time I-" he caught him slef noticing the looks he was getting.

"What did you do to the barn?" You asked breaking the silence as konner waited both eager to hear what Clark had gotten up to when he was little. He cleared his throat

"Never you mind, now come on get to it, start picking up all that corn the we can see about plugging some of those holes" you shared a look with konner moving slowly collecting the corn as Clark moved to the back of the barn inspecting the damage.

"What do you think he did?" Konner shrugged

"Not sure apparently according to Grandma he was a little goody two shoes so... it couldn't have been that bad"

"Im gonna ask her when she gets back" konner froze and shook his head.

"No dont! Do not do that! We don't wana be in trouble with Grandma ever, dads a piece of piss to deal with but Grandma? She is a different beast altogether...To clever with punishments I mean she perfected her methods on him... She knows what shes doing" you blinked at him.

"We? You mean you I wont get in to much trouble...I mean evidence points to you, your the one with laser eyes." You smirked impishly at him as he looked shocked.

"You'd throw me under the bus? Just like that?" You nodded

"To avoid Martha's wrath abso-fucking-lutly sorry dude but Im not getting sucked into that shit show...Actually....Dont worry I got this she will never know." Befor Either on them could ask you'd closed your eyes then opened. Konner took a step back as they glowed bright. And sure enough the small holed were closeing, you coiled the fibres of the wood around in tight circles until the holes were all coveres feeljng aroh d the planks looking for them all. Konner gasped watching the way you manipulated the planks hearing a slight tiny creaking of the wood as it bended around itself.  You moved to the side looking at the damaged beam quickly knitting it back together filling in the two deep burns that ran across it. Slowly you looked back down to the other two and smiled.

"All done...The beam should hold I made the grain tighter where it was." Clark smiled as he made his way towards you patting your shoulder and giving a sweet kiss to your hair.

"Thank you y/n now I think we shouldall head inside dont you?" You stuttered as he continued past you and Konner. Who was gaping at you.

"That was so fucking awsome! You made that look so easy...Is it? Whats else can you dowith it? And your eyes shit! Even I was scared for a second..." you flushed fidgeting going all bashfull.

"Oh haha sorry for scaring you...And that was easythey were tiny holes to plug." You moved slowly following Konner and Clark to the house.

"You still gonna ask Grandma about what he did?" You nodded at him laughing.

"You bet! I wana hear about all the dumb shit he did" he smiled at you as you both made it to the kitchen. Clark had entered and was already sitting down at the table with a drink.

"Your both still grounded by the way" you pouted at him

"No fair I fixed it!" He rose a brow at you

"It wasn't about the damage, I want you both to be carefull, you were reckless and both put yourselves at risk unnecessarily so rest of the week. No phones, games or tv. No leaving the farm and you can help your Grandma and me with the chores..." you sighed and looked to konner defeated he only shrugged in responseas if to say 'nothing you can you do' you slumped down into the chair pouring yourself a glass of juice from the pitcher Konner following suit grumbling to yourselves Clark shook his head getting up placing his glass in the sink. Teenagers.

[chessdaze]

OKAY SO TODAY-

I’m going to ramble about chess symbolism - specifically with the Savanaclaw trio but also a couple of other characters (mostly pomefiore characters in detail but I list some others out aswell) I made the mistake of mentioning it on twitter and it got attention so now I’m posting it here because it’s way too long to post in a twitter thread.

It’s also going under readmore for that reason too:

For those unaware, the black and white on the chessboard have a meaning as well. Not so much ‘good’ and ‘evil’, though that’s one interpretation - White is normally associated with good and Black with evil. And that’s a valid conclusion! But another symbolism having to do with the board is the war between the inner and outer self. Between Ego and Values. Pretty much the chessboard can represent any kind of eternal struggle. A struggle that continues and doesn’t particularly have an ‘ending’ as chess is a game that can be played more than once, the struggle will always come back eventually.

Relating this to Night Raven in general- of course the struggle with overblot can be related to chess as well. Because it’s a constant struggle, one that most aren’t even aware of as there’s clearly ways to prevent it (resting, de-stressing, etc), but still a constant problem people of this world have to face.

Now moving onto the characters I want to speak about. Starting with Ruggie cause he’s my favorite.

Ruggie: The Bishop

The Bishop traditionally represents the church and religion, and in Medieval Europe the bishop was second in line to the king and queen. Now going back to how the chessboard could represent an internal struggle - the bishop can also represent a belief structure of some kind. The morals, the thought process. This is said to be why the bishop starts and stays on the same colored square (white for white and black for black), moving diagonally but never cross over another color. They move as far as they want, under the limits of their ‘belief’. They must rely on others to protect them or stay out of anything that could threaten them on the board.

NOW WILL SMITH ARMS TO ALL OF THAT ????

Ruggie doesn’t have ‘good’ morals. He only thinks about survival of the fittest, he believes that a strategy that you can win is worth it no matter the methods, he doesn’t pick fights he can’t win –

BUT his morals and methods align with Leona’s, who’s objectively the ‘king’ in this situation. He stands next to the ‘king’, (Like the bishop is next to the royalty on the chessboard) Leona, he moves according to his wishes but doesn’t sacrifice his own beliefs and methods in the process. He relies on Leona for protection and guidance, but will run away if he feels like he must (the chase scene with ace and deuce comes to mind. they didn’t have any proof but to keep himself safe 100% he left anyways).

Not to mention ‘second in line to the king and queen’ - Ruggie is the vice leader of Savanaclaw - Leona’s own little ‘kingdom’ as it were, so he already fills the role of second in command in canon.

He also could be considered an ‘overseer’. He watches over the dorm, does basic chores and errands for Leona, is someone leona trusts to carry out certain jobs - not to mention a good spy in general.  

I suppose one could argue that Ruggie is a pawn aswell. Besides the obvious ‘oh he’s considered a pawn to leona lol’, people forget that the pawn is the only piece who can turn into a Queen - aka the most powerful piece on the board. And Ruggie had that quote during the commercials that ‘even a hyena can become king at this school’. But that’s just it - he specifically says King. The Bishop is second in line to the throne behind the king / queen. So, if anything happened to Leona then he would be the dorm leader / the king. I just feel as if Ruggie doesn’t fit the Queen symbolism at all.

Not that I doubt Ruggie’s abilities or anything. His powerful will to survive above all else, his magical ability, and his sly nature definitely make him a powerful force - but I still don’t think it fits.

I also like the idea of Ruggie being a kind of ‘adviser’ to Leona. Hear me out. In Leona’s SSR he’s the one to stop Leona from going all out during the fight against his own dorm leaders, he offers legitimate advice to Leona at some parts of the main story and the SSR, and is able to sway his decisions and offer legitimate solutions to problems (for example, convincing Leona to let the MC and Grim stay at the dorm during Episode 3 - it wasn’t a solution they liked but it was still one they could all agree on).

Ruggie to me just embodies the bishop so perfectly.

Leona: The King

OBVIOUSLY so I still want to go into this even tho the King is probably the most obvious choice for Leona.

Going back to the chessboard as a whole- the white king is meant to represent a person’s being while the black king can represent the ‘beast’ within us all. The beast is said to represent the intelligence hidden inside of all of us. Now willsmith arms to Leona. This guy is smart, it’s almost scary. Scar was practically considered a tactician and Leona is the same. He comes off as lazy and uncaring but he has a deep understanding of how things work and uses the smallest of details to work things to his advantage. 90% of the time, Leona is the smartest guy in the room - but you wouldn’t think he is at first.

Now, the king is often referred to as the weakest piece- if only for the poor movement of it being that of a pawn (and even then the pawn can move two spaces on its first turn - giving it advantage over the king in that sense). But it’s also the most important piece. The one that the entire game is fought for. The king can make or break the game - but it barely moves.

Even a real king isn’t seen much by their subjects. They stay stay and wait for something to become important enough for them to leave their kingdom - and until then a king relies on those around him (in this case, the other pieces on the board) to fulfill his orders. He’s far too important and that’s why he barely moves from the back row on the chessboard. 

If you think about it - Leona doesn’t do much for his own plan in chapter 2. He relies on the magift team (mostly Ruggie) to execute the plan. The only time he really had a hand in what was going on was during the dorm leader meeting when he convinced the headmaster to keep Malleus on the field because it was essential to the plan with Ruggie causing the stampede- Malleus needed to be there to get caught up in it all. But that was something only he could have done, no one else could have filled that role for him. So again - the King doesn’t step out of the back row unless absolutely necessary.

Before anyone argues about Leona’s SSR and him stepping in then - I’ll take more of that into account during Jack’s section. But keep in mind he also mostly did that to have Jack indebted to him so my point still stands that the king doesn’t move unless he needs to.

And no, despite his power level I don’t believe he’s ‘queen’ material. If only because he holds himself back so much (with his laziness, lack of ambition, etc). It’s his lack of drive but also his reliance on others that has him leaning more towards the King rather than the Queen.

Jack: The Rook

Onto Jack - I struggled for a bit nailing down if he was the knight or the rook, if I am honest. His morals of fair fights and not owing people could definitely fall in line with a knight - but in the end I decided to go with Rook. For a number of reasons.

In Leona’s SSR story, he specifically calls Jack a ‘pup who charges ahead without thinking’ - similar to how a Rook can only move forward or to the side. It can go until something stops it - much like Jack was willing to keep fighting in the SSR story until Leona physically stopped him and stepped in himself.

Now the rook is also called the tower or the castle - and it traditionally represents the castle walls - the things that protect royalty and others. The rook is supposed to protect those on the inside of the board (as it is placed on both edges of the board) and protect those instead. The rook could also represent observation - watching the whole board and taking the best course of action to protect those it can. There are two kinds of observation, if we relate it back to the chessboard representing the inside and outside self. These are self reflection, orientated towards the interior / when the rook moves further into the board or side ways, and then moving forward as a kind of outward observation. Now Leona SPECIFICALLY mentions that Jack seems like he’s good at self reflection - that’s what really had me start thinking of Jack as the rook.

Jack is reckless and stands up for what he believes in no matter what, but also knows when he can’t handle a situation. He is good at observing a situation and making an honest call - even if it makes him sound blunt and rude. He knows exactly what he’s capable of, likely after a lot of his own self reflection, and is able to observe other’s skills in a similar fashion (as he calls out his seniors during leona’s ssr as being lesser magift players, clearly stating he’s superior than them when it comes to the game).

The rook is also the only one who can preform a move with the king called ‘castling’ - meaning the rook can switch places with the king in order to help the king move further away from danger or just to get more space into a move. This is also a type of observation where the rook is moving inwards and switching places with the overall being, the ultimate self reflection and cooperation with oneself.

^^^ THIS is the part I mentioned in Leona’s section. The king and rook are the only pieces that can preform the castling move. This is EXACTLY what happened in Leona’s SSR. He switched places with Jack. While in chess this is normally done to move the king out of danger - this is an exception considering Leona is....Leona. But I can see this as a way for their relationship to grow over the course of the story. Jack still obviously has an admiration for Leona even after the events of Chapter 2. And Jack definitely has the means to help Leona when it comes to fights, and in other capacities, so he is becoming very much a ‘castle’ around savanaclaw. Someone who can be trusted to observe, to protect, to fight.

He’s quick to protect others - as he is protective of ruggie during the main story and even his own SSR. He struggles a lot trying to win Ruggie and Leona over during his personal SSR and goes through ALOT of trouble to help Ruggie stay out of trouble with Leona. He didn’t have to do this, but he saw it as beneficial to the greater good, to help one of high standing, to protect him from a possible rage from their ‘king’.

Now for some reason i really thought into pomefiore too so here’s there analysis-

Rook: The knight

I definitely didn’t want to fall into the trap of thinking he was the rook just because of his name. But thinking on it, he definitely fits a knight - at least from what we know of him so far.

For overall Knight symbolism: The knight represents the professional soldier of medieval times whose job it was to protect persons of rank, and there are two of them per each side in a game of chess. Knights in a game of chess are more important than pawns, but less important than bishops, kings, or queens. Their purpose in the game of chess is to protect the more important pieces, and they can be sacrificed to save those pieces just as pawns can.

The Knight might not be the most powerful or most willing to follow his leader around, but its skillset makes it unique. Their eccentricities allow them to succeed, often passing over much more talented Bishops.

The knight can also represent Divine Law, which everyone has to take in account for their actions.

NOW WILL SMITH ARMS TO ROOK HIMSELF.

I can definitely see him as being a knightly figure not just because of how he acts on his own but how he acts with Vil specifically. He’s not an adviser of any kind like Ruggie, Vil even states in Jade’s SSR that Rook could be a better Vice Leader. But he’s also not like Jack and rushes ahead without thinking. out of the three pieces in the back row that aren’t the royalty, he fits the knight the best.

Not to mention I feel like the ‘protect the more important pieces’ fits Rook aswell as he proves to be very loyal to Vil and very proud of being a pomefiore dorm member - he would do anything for this dorm.

The knights of society are also people who are only really good at one thing - and Rook has a specialty for hunting. Even to the point of kind of being stalkerish, as seen in his Lab Coat SR and Jade’s PE uniform R. Also “ Their eccentricities allow them to succeed, often passing over much more talented Bishops. “ Him getting the jump on Ruggie a lot of the time would like literally translate to this and I didn’t mean for that to happen but it did.

When it comes to ‘divine law’ I’m just kind of connecting that to Rook being a hunter aswell. He knows the boundaries / laws of hunting and while he sometimes pushes those boundaries (like with Malleus and insulting him during Rooks PE uniform story) he doesn’t cross them because he knows the chain of command / circle of life if you will - laugh track -

With the above point, the knight’s overall moveset is fitting to Rook as well. The knight moves in an L shaped patter and is able to easily skip over lines of defense / offense to get where it needs to go. The knight is the ONLY PIECE that can actually jump over other pieces.

Rook is good at figuring out strategies, getting around rules and just barely touching the lines of being too invasive. Rook is a hunter, clever and patient, and with a knight’s moveset he can go back and forth between enemy lines and not - planning an angle and slipping in when he sees an opportunity.

Vil: The Queen

AGAIN ANOTHER OBVIOUS ONE- and this one will be kind of short as we don’t know a lot on Vil just yet (or at least I don’t, I haven’t read much of his card stories).

Vil obviously has status and power. The way he’s able to get the monstro lounge tons of customers without even knowing it - all by posting one picture with a hashtag? He becomes ambassadors for certain fashion brands, he keeps up with being a dorm leader, and giving practically his entire dorm etiquette lessons? Like shit this dude never slows down.

The Queens of society are often the closest to being in command, and arguably work the hardest. Considering Pomefiore was specifically advertised as a dorm that’s very foundation is ‘hard work’, it shouldn’t surprise anyone that Vil is the queen in this situation.

and cracks knuckles theory time - if Vil overblots it’s gonna be BAD cause i mean - what happens when you lose your queen in a chess match?? You lose the most powerful piece on the board and a lot of your other pieces are sitting ducks. So yeah Vil overblotting is gonna be TERRIFYING that’s all I can say.

Epel: The pawn

Another small blurb but I just wanna say that being the pawn isn’t a bad thing!!

The pawn can represent a few different things - from everyday workers and laborers to simply how we are everyday - our attitudes and how we present ourselves. Both of these things are present within Epel, him coming from the countryside and mentioning farming and not to mention that he puts on a bit of a mask infront of everyone else.

The pawn has the ability to become another piece on the board and I think that there’s that kind of potential for Epel too. He is struggling a bit with self image (which could be represented by the board itself as well - inner and outer self), but I think he has room to grow and I’m honestly pretty excited to see what the pomefiore chapter does with his character tbh.

OKAY I’LL STOP WITH THE EXPLANATIONS THERE BUT HERE’S A LIST OF WHAT CHARACTERS FROM OTHER DORMS I THINK FIT WHAT PIECE AND IF SOMEONE WANTS ME TO GO INTO DETAIL ON THEM I CAN LATER-

Heartslabyul:

Riddle: Queen / King kind of a toss up Trey: Bishop Cater: Knight Deuce: Rook Ace: Pawn

Ocatvinelle:

Azul: King Jade: Knight or Bishop Floyd: Rook

Scarabia:

Kalim: King Jamil: Knight

Ignihyde:

Idia: King Ortho: Pawn

Diasomnia:

Mal: Queen / King toss up again Lilia: Leaning towards Knight Silver: Pawn or Knight Sebek: Rook

[all-hail-the-witcher]

im in high school and it sucks do you have any advice you could give me

aright ive been thinking about this one for a little while, trying to actually come up with something helpful. in interest of accuracy, i graduated high school in 2019 and am about to enter my sophomore year of college. 

first and foremost, you're in high school. i dont know what grade you're in, but at most you've got 4 years left. and after that you never have to see Any of the people you go to school with ever again if you dont want to. i know this one might seem kinda stupid, but it was one of the few thoughts that got me through junior and senior year. (also when i was home on college breaks (and right now during *this*) the only people ive seen from school are the ones that i choose to see and if i happen to run into someone else we either wave or just ignore eachother. i also live in a fairly smallish town) 

find a spot to eat lunch thats not the cafeteria if possible. idk what kinda school you go to, and this is not possible at all schools, but if it is, take advantage of it. i would eat lunch in the crafts room 99% of the time and work on whatever project i was currently doing. sometimes my friends would join me and sometimes id be by myself, but either way it was nice to get away from the nonsense for a little bit. 

make fun of your awful teachers. not to their face obviously, but with your friends. it makes the class that you absolutely cant stand so much more bearable. i had a teacher in my senior year who was absolutely awful and my friend and i who had the class together would make fun of him outside of the classroom.

doodle. some teachers do notebook checks, so dont do it in that notebook, get some plain lined paper or do it in a different notebook entirely, but doodling is a great way to relieve some of the stress and shit that goes on in class. 

go on your phone. i probably shouldn't be advising this one, but i spent a fair amount of time on my phone in high school, esp as i got into senior year. i think i might have spent more time on my phone than paying attention honestly. theres definitely an art to it. but once you figure it out, its pretty simple. just make sure you're still getting decent grades. 

snacks! figure out which of your teachers let you eat food in class and bring snacks. you'd be surprised how much snacks improve your mood. (maybe not this year tho cause of the whole pandemic thing. but if you're taking classes from home, do it!)

try to take at least 1 class that doesnt require a lot of brain power. my classes of choice were dance and crafts. if your school offers stuff like that, its nice to have a break in your schedule that doesnt require you to be sitting and taking notes and thinking about things. 

know your limits when making your schedule. just because you place into all honors or get reccomeded for ap classes doesnt mean you Have to take them. obviously, parents (and sometimes guidance counselors) dont agree with this. but if theyre cool with it, only take honors or aps in areas that you actually enjoy. that way you will be more motivated to do the work. it also gives you a break in your other classes. when i was in high school, the bulk of my honors and ap classes were in history and english because that was what i was better at and liked more. i took non honors science and math when possible. those classes had significantly less homework, which left me time to do my homework for my harder classes without feeling stressed. 

determine which classes you *actually* have to pay attention in. there will usually be one or two ones that you actually have to pay 100% attention in, and then you can kinda get away with not completely paying attention in the rest of them. 

listen to music whenever possible. if you have a teacher that lets you have your earbuds in, take full advantage. or listen to music while changing classes, or during lunch. music does so much to improve your mood and its something to look forward to. just be careful of that one teacher every school has that makes you take out your earbuds. dont get in trouble.

give yourself an outlet. something that you can enjoy that is absolutely not connected to high school. it could be a youtube channel, a fandom, writing fanfic, a book, a movie, some form of media. and let yourself indulge in it after (or even during) school. i wrote a lot of fan fiction in class. i wrote character maps, hcs, song lists with themes, shit like that. and then when i got home i let myself watch like an hour or so of youtube before i did my homework. just because you're in high school doesnt mean you cant give yourself breaks. again, parents can be annoying about that because they see you not doing your homework and think you're a bad student, so dont get in trouble. but definitely give yourself breaks when doing homework. 

try not to start or get mixed up in drama. its a lot easier said than done, but it makes everything so much better. also in the grand scheme of things, high school drama is not important. 

find a few friends to be close with and stick by them. if you have one or two close friends in high school you're pretty much set. of course you can go through high school with no friends and make it out, but its easier to have a few close friends. it makes it fun. and if you dont have any friends at your school, internet friends work too. 

dont get caught up in the whole college application thing. yes its stressful, but whatever school you end up at will be fine. and people often get so consumed by the process that they get incredibly stressed and forget to take care of themselves. make sure you're still hanging out with your friends and making time for yourself. 

high school seems like the most important thing in the world when you're in it. but it's not. and you'll get through it. i hope this wast least a little bit helpful. if not feel free to message me or send me another ask!

[neo-nymph]

NCT NSFW: KUN

Goddamnit I fucking love Kun :’)

A – Aftercare

May or may not know exactly what to do. He tries tho.

Another member I see being soft afterward and really just wants to cuddle more than anything. Doesn’t want you sleeping in a messy state so he gives you a warm bath. Takes off your make-up (if any of it survived), fixes your hair the best he can, moisturizes you skin, all that cute shit. Asks if you want anything else; water, a snack, cuddles, etc. If not he’ll just throw on the tv and hold you til you fall asleep

B – Body part

On you, maybe your hands. Not for any particular reason, he just likes playing with them randomly and feeling them on his chest when you hug him from behind.

Oh himself, probably him arms. They’re not too big, not too small. Just the perfect amount of definition.  

C – Cum

Pulls out purely so he can shoot his cum on your pussy. Literally rubs it around your lips like his dick is a paintbrush. I can see him being into creampies as well. Not really into having it anywhere else cause he’s not a fan of the mess.

D – Dirty Secret

Step-sibling porn; wouldn’t tell anyone cause he doesn’t wanna seem like a creep. This sounds so basic and common but I can see this being his go-to category.

E – Experience

Not a virgin but not super experienced. Likely slept with 2 maybe 3 women so he knows the basics but could still use some guidance.

F – Favorite Position

You riding him; his hands are gripping your hips and his eyes are glossing over every bit of you there is to see. He loves to lay underneath you as it gives him the perfect view of everything. Your pussy sliding up and down his slick length, your breasts bouncing and jiggling about, the expressions on your pleading face. It’s like he has a front row seat to the show you put on especially for him.

G – Goofy

He is leading up to the act. When your kissing and taking off clothes he’s probably a giggly mess smiling into his kisses and such. Leads a little bit into foreplay with some corny compliments to make you blush but not much past that point.

H – Hair

Trims when he has time cause he prefers it over a bush but doesn’t really make it a priority. Gets a clean shave on special occasions like valentines days or your anniversary just to be extra. Likes when you have a clean shave just cause he finds it cute and likes how smooth it feels on his face and lips but doesn’t ever actually ask you to shave.

I – Intimacy  

He’s a little awkward cause he doesn’t have a ton of experience but he really does try his best to make you feel good. Things get pretty steamy (literally, yall are both sweaty after). Very sensual with a lot of wandering hands and pants. Lots of open mouth kisses.

The type to believe sex is the most connected way of showing intimacy, so he tries his hardest to focus on making you feel good first, but sometimes he gets lost in how snug and tight you are around him. Whenever this happens he loses his sense of control and thrusts a bit harder than normal, eyes shut and jaw tight. All he can think about is how good you feel until you grab his wrist and pull him out of his fantasy. Then he’s back to focusing on you.

Non-sexual intimacy would mostly consist of back hugs and snuggles. You’ll be in the kitchen or the bathroom just doing whatever and he’ll wrap his arms around you from behind, resting his face in the warmth of your neck and leaving some gentle kisses. Other times will appear more nonchalant, like holding you close when you're watching a movie. It might not seem like much from someone else’s perspective, but to him, sitting there underneath blankets with his cheek being tickled by your hair, listening to your laughs with your head on his chest is where he feels most in love with you.

J – Jack-Off

Not too often, just as much as anyone else I feel. Possibly more just cause sometimes he doesn’t wanna ask you to help him out if the mood isn’t right. Like if it’s cold out and you’re cuddling while watching a cute movie he’ll excuse himself to the bathroom cause he doesn’t wanna ruin such an adorable moment.

Gets off to common porn, like step-siblings, college girls, solo girls, etc. Mostly goes for videos of you on his phone tho.

K – Kink

Light BDSM. Tying your hands behind you or using something to gag you. Likes hearing your moans muffled and watching you struggle with your arms bind from use, especially when you ride him. It gives him that little bit of control and confidence he needs to get a little bolder and more rough.

L – Limits

Kun is curious but not that adventurous. He’d go along with some of the more basic thrills, not too far past the line of vanilla, but I don’t think he’d be willing to do anything crazier than some roleplay and light bdsm.

M – Motivation (Turn-On)

Sexting in public. Doesn’t matter if you’re in the same room or on opposite sides of the planet. If you send him risky photos with disregard to the fact that he’s in a meeting he gets fired up in less than a minute. He won’t even try to stop you, he encourages you in fact. The risk and taboo of the situation, watching videos of you with your hands in your panties across the table from his boss, demanding you show him just a little bit more, send thrills down his spine like nothing else.  

N – NO (Turn-Off)

Being called Daddy. Outside of the bedroom he’ll laugh at it and throw you a scolding look but he’s not all that into it in a sexual light at all.  

O – Oral

Giving: Soft and gentle. Put your thighs over his shoulders, holds one of your hands while the other plays with your boob. Starts with fat licks just to taste you and warm things up, squeezing your boob in this hand. Then moves on to flicking your clit with the tip of his tongue and sucking on it A LOT. He’s not sure what else to try, but your moaning at his actions spurs him on to continue what he’s doing. Abandons your boob to toy with your clit until you cum but holds your hand the whole time

Receiving: Not sure what to do with his hands. Kinda pets your hair and just watches you with half closed eyes. Might hold your hair out of the way but does it real loose and gentle. Lots of little pants, trying not to be too loud. Groans when he starts getting close and trips over his words when trying to tell you he’s close. Tries not to buck his hips and make you gag but fails. Doesn’t mind if you choose to spit or swallow.  

P – Place

9/10 it’s in the bedroom. Too nervous to do it anywhere that isn’t the dorm or your place. You could maybe persuade him to let you give him a blow job in the bathroom of a public place but he’ll be on edge the whole time.

As for in the house, shower sex occurs every now and then when one of you is feeling frisky or spontaneous. Also on the couch, when you two are home alone; say a sexy scene comes on during a movie, or your ass just feels too perfect on his lap and he can’t wait long enough to get you into the bedroom. 

Q – Quickie  

Not too often. Only in some risky situations that you drag him into if you get him really riled up. *See risk for further explanation*

R – Risk  

The riskiest thing he’ll do it the sexting/watching your videos in public and jacking off in the bathroom as a result. He’ll never be the one to initiate it, but he can’t resist you enough to say no if you want to get dirty in the dorms while the members are home, or blow him in an empty studio or conference room at SM. If he’s super horny or frustrated tho he’ll have a quickie with you in the studio/conference room.

S – Stamina

Maybe 2 rounds

T – Toys  

He’d wear a cock ring if you asked but nothing other than that

U – Unfair [Teasing/Being teased]

Kun isn’t one to tease simply cause he’s not that into the whole begging thing. You could get away with teasing him tho. He hates it when you drag your nails along his length, teasing his tip with the light swipe of your tongue and a peck of your lips, pulling him further and further to the edge just to leave him in agony. Doesn’t have it in him to kill your fun or whip that evil little grin off your face tho. He’ll plead for you to stop with a sad laugh but doesn’t really put forth any effort for you to stop. Once you’re done tho you can bet he’s gonna get more than just a little rough

V – Volume  

Pretty quiet. Doesn’t make a ton of noise other than some loud-ish pants and grunts. Doesn’t talk much either, maybe an “oh god” here and there.

W – Wild Card [Author’s Choice]

I feel like he’s low key a perv.

Wouldn’t be surprised if he’s passing the bathroom one day while your changing with the door cracked open and he stops to watch you and jacks off without you knowing. If he comes home and hears you masturbating you can bet he’s gonna watch you from the door and rub himself until you’re done.

Probably has a folder of NSFW photos and videos of you in his phone for when you guys are apart. Really into you sending him naughty photos and videos of yourself.

X – X-Ray [Dick Size]

Like 5 or 6 inches. Reasonably thick, not too much of a stretch but it’s there.

Y – Yearning [Sex Drive]

Not crazy. Sex happens like 2-3 times a week. Even when he’s on tour he doesn’t get urges very often. Probably only when you send him something scandalous.

Z – Zzz [After Sex]

Honestly I don’t think he’ll be sleepy after unless it’s late at night. He’ll probably be up for a while afterward but doesn’t really have the energy to do anything other than watch a movie. He’ll fall asleep 1 or 2 hours later.

[astrologysvt]

Chart First Impressions: Seungkwan

In celebration of Seungkwan’s bday, I’m starting the “Seungkwan is Best Baby” club and here is my list of reasons why you should join it. 

These are just the first impressions I had to all of their charts – the parts that popped out to me as being notable, things I personally liked, things I thought were interesting or contrary to the image I have of them. Things like that. I’m not looking at anything in particular with each reading. Some of their readings may be more aspect focused, where some may just focus solely on their personal planets. If you have any questions on specific aspects or want to request a more specific reading, feel free to send me an ask!I adore this boy 

our little capricorn baby 

lets have a nice little capricorn talk. 

another misunderstood sign

caps can be seen as stubborn, maybe judgmental. 

maybe sometimes overly practical and inflexible. 

i’ll be honest and say that caps have been the hardest for me personally to understand, but learning to understand them has been incredibly rewarding and enlightening. 

the first hurdle you need to address if ur struggling to understand caps is to understand that they aren’t miracle workers. 

they are so easy to write off in readings as the hard-workers, the ambitious ones, the ones who get stuff done. 

lmao there is an expectation that, if no other sign can do it, a cap probably can — but these things are obviously more complex than that, and no one is immune to failure.  

honestly, i think the main reason why people think this is, is because a cap is gonna be the last one to be okay dropping things if they know no one else is going to pick it up after them. 

even if they’re over it and don’t want to deal with it anymore — they’re gonna be the ones who know how to find the patience and perseverance within themselves to see it to completion. 

i went into it a little bit with seungcheol, but i think the primary identifying factor for a cap is their sense of responsibility. 

how they decide to address/focus/direct this sense of responsibility is up to them, but i’ve met various capricorns at very different places with their sense of responsibility. 

some ignore it, some are CONSTANTLY THINKING ABOUT IT. 

caps who struggle to focus it in any which direction can tend to be pretty fickle with their time and struggle to justify imputing excessive amounts of effort into things they aren’t sure about.

if they don’t see it amounting to something, they’d rather not do anything.  

and then you have the caps who are so committed in one direction who really feel as though time is constantly passing them by.

this is because they’re so focused on their goals that they struggle to grasp the progress they are actually making. 

either way, what’s looming over them both is this hyper awareness of a sense of purpose (or lack there of). 

and in my experience, they both tend to be rather insecure regardless of the place they’re at with their goals. 

they’re either insecure in knowing they need to be doing things and aren’t, or insecure in not knowing whether they’re being the most efficient with their time. 

that’s just something to think about with both seungkwan and joshua, though i think this is much more prominent in seungkwan 

(not to say joshua doesn’t have the same sense of responsibility, he just seems to be less quick to action than seungkwan is). 

with seungkwan, he’s the opportunist capricorn. 

they’re the ones who don’t wait for people to hype them up to start doing things. 

if they see an opportunity, they’ve already signed on and have started preparing. 

this makes sense considering his approach to variety shows. 

if he sees the opportunity, he reaches out. 

same with his cover of love poem, he saw the opportunity to make this connection with IU and it ended up being this really beautiful exchange. 

this cap attitude is the one he exactly expressed in the behind the scenes, too, when he was explaining that he didn’t know where the courage came from but he really wanted to directly ask IU for the instrumental. 

he didn’t HAVE to per say, but his lack of fear allowed him to pursue this project in a very sincere, touching, and authentic way. 

it goes to show how good these caps are at putting the effort forward before they can think themselves out of it. 

these caps are just a mystery to me because you can’t even imagine where the idea to do the things they do come from, and before you have time to ask them what they’re up to, they’re already knee deep in the project and starting new ones as you speak. 

but lets look at the rest of his chart 

we’ve got a virgo moon! 

so i feel like people don’t give virgos enough credit for being some of the funniest people in the world, honestly. 

they are naturally very clever people and consequentially very great conversationalists (so long as they don’t have other, more reserved placements that may interfere). 

they are this way because they are so observant and detail-oriented. 

they can talk for hours about the intricacies of the most random things and can talk about them with such passion because they genuinely think the little things are the most interesting. 

they’re very similar to gemini placements in the sense that they want to know everything and study everything, and honestly just love being able to share their findings with people. 

i think the primary difference is that geminis do it because they are so curious and inquisitive, almost to a fault. 

where as a virgo approaches it more as research/getting their bearings. 

they feel the most comfortable in situations where they can account for all the details, understand how each part functions, and can have enough information where they feel as though they can comfortably predict all possible outcomes. 

they’re so good at this to the point that they manage to come to these findings incredibly fast, almost subconsciously. 

which is why you can hardly ever get anything past someone with a strong virgo influence. even when you think they’re not paying attention.

they keep tabs on the most random, minuscule things and man will they let you know if something is not how it should be. 

but how does this make him funny? 

virgo’s take that attention to detail and they apply that to their humor. 

they’re the ones to point out that random thing they noticed you did that you didn’t think anyone would notice, but boy did they notice it and did they think it was hilarious. 

or the kind of things that wouldn’t be funny inherently, but are funny because they put it in such a specific context that now you think it’s the funniest thing on the planet. 

it’s because they’re resourceful comedians who are super in tune not just with the nuance that puts those jokes over the top, but they are so good at finding the most obscure, random things to pick fun at. 

they’re humor also def leans more towards the satiric/absurd realm. 

i mean, john mulaney is a virgo idk what more i need to say to prove how funny and weird virgos can be. 

seungkwan honestly has such a big heart. 

so i know earth signs have a habit of coming across cool or impersonal, and with a cap sun, mercury, venus & virgo moon you’d imagine he’d be too cool for school. 

but don’t forget virgo influences are one of the healers of astrology. 

in astrology there are two “healers” 

pisces are the emotional healers, and virgos are the physical healers. 

this could explain his ultra obsession with helping the others maintain their health, and also why he manages to nag them about it in the sweetest way. 

but we’ve also got a virgo moon trine cap mercury. 

this makes him incredibly emotionally competent. 

having this aspect associated with both earth signs makes it so that his concern with health and stability is how he expresses his care.  

he truly and deeply understands the role he plays in taking care of his members and takes it very seriously. 

this also makes him really good at giving advice!!! 

he’s so attentive and is really good at balancing emotional support with guidance. 

this can also make him incredibly great in stressful situations as he’s able to take in chaos and turbulence through his moon and effectively process it. then his cap mercury’s quick brain and knack for logics kicks in and starts problem solving. 

his moon is opposite jupiter

this is the aspect that really makes him that fun-loving, sweet, warm-hearted boo we all know and love. 

he’s so generous with affection and humor because it comes from this bottomless well within him. 

he’s so accessible and i think this is one of the reasons why people are so quick to warm up to him. 

hehehe tho he does have a tendency to over do it due to that opposition.

the jupiter influence gives him this super open and free energy from that added sag influence while making him incredibly optimistic at heart.

he’s just so easy to be around, and when you see him open up his arms to you there’s no reason for you not to return the gesture. 

not only that, but talking with him is so fun because he is so animated and so passionate yet so invested in the conversation because he genuinely enjoys hearing from different perspectives. 

he is truly a happy, and optimistic person at heart and associating this with his moon makes him incredibly stable and enduring in the face of emotional turmoil.

it doesn’t make him immune to emotions or sadness, but he is certainly always able to find a silver lining while also allowing him to be constructive on the reasons he may have ended up where he was. 

but you take that and then you add his already super committed capricorn energy, and what you get is this incredibly resilient guy.

it’s because of this that he’s so capable of being present in every single aspect. 

there is at no point that seungkwan checks out, may it be professionally,  personally, emotionally.  

he is truly someone you can depend on in all fronts. 

[bat-lings]

Is Bruce a good father to Damian, specifically? I mean, he seems to have learnt from past mistakes... but in preboot, does he even care about Damian at all? Didn't seem like it most of the time (especially in Resurrection of Ra's al Ghul, where he didn't even seem to care that Damian's life is in danger). Do you think he cared about Damian preboot?

Well, you are both right in that reboot!Bruce puts his preboot counterpart to shame where Damian’s concerned. The thing is, the reboot gave a much bigger place to Bruce and Damian’s dynamic than preboot ever did. Those two actually don’t have that many scenes together in preboot, and said scenes were usually part of a bigger plot/narrative that left little room to focus on their relationship.

I’ll answer this in three stages in order to address everything our Anons mentioned:

Bruce & Damian’s dynamic as portrayed by Morrison

The Resurrection of Ra’s al Ghul

Conclusion: does preboot!Bruce care about Damian? And was he a good father to him? (spoilers: yes and no, respectively.)

The conclusion summarizes everything so jump there if the argumentation part is too long.

A) Morrison’s Damian & Bruce

Disclaimer: I really, really hate Morrison’s writing. I’ll try to be reasonable when criticizing it but be extra aware of that bias. It makes me put most of Bruce’s action on the writer rather than the character and while I have my reasons & probably won’t change my opinion, it’s still a pretty categorical take.

Honestly I think Morrison’s Bruce does feel responsible for Damian. I’m even sure he cares about him too:

[Batman (1940) #657]

Actually, the whole issue is pretty good where Bruce & Damian are concerned. Must be my favorite thing Morrison has ever written. He installs interesting things character-wise, like Bruce making an extra effort to make Damian comfortable in the Manor & be patient with him, or Damian being an insufferable brat up until Bruce snaps at him, at which point he immediately switches off to “yes sir” in front of that new figure of authority.

Those are interesting bases to construct a dynamic upon. Problem is, they’re not gonna be exploited.

Here Bruce shows clear intent to provide guidance to Damian. But rather than give Bruce the occasion to follow up on that intent, and to develop a real relationship with Damian, Morrison gives us the incident Anon mentioned in the next frickin’ issue : an explosion set by Morrison’s godawful “““Talia””” that should’ve killed both her and Damian, and Bruce staring dramatically into the distance.

Does Bruce investigate their disappearance while Damian is being hardcore abused by his mother? Nah, he’s too busy skiing with one Jezebel Jet– a relationship Morrison needs to install since Jezebel has a notable role in Batman RIP.

My point is: as of #658 Morrison considers this arc finished & that there’s nothing to add. By that logic it’s valid to forget Damian until he’s relevant again plot-wise. It’s not (i think?) a way to tell us Bruce doesn’t care about Damian.

Let’s fast-forward to the disputable editorial & writer choice to launch Batman Inc/Leviathan  just after Bruce’s return from the “dead” without A) leaving room for a  confrontation/closure scene between him and Damian beforehand; or B) letting them actually interact more than the strictest minimum in said arc. From a strictly in-universe POV though, it’s not ooc for Bruce to decide unilaterally that Damian doesn’t need him or to focus on the crisis to come without talking to his son first.

I guess I should be talking about Batman Incorporated Vol. 2 too, ‘cause while it’s technically N52 it’s very much in the continuity of the storyline Morrison started in preboot. It also has a few Bruce & Damian moments where despite terrible miscommunication Bruce seems to worry for Damian… But then the plot requires Bruce sending Damian back to the mother who, in this dumbass version, abused him all his life.

[Batman Incorporated (2012) #4]

If I got that right this is a “Hero must make Big Sacrifice for the Greater Good” moment. The fact that Bruce loves Damian isn’t put into question: it makes the sacrifice more significant.

And that’s kinda my problem. First we’re told that Bruce wants to provide for Damian, but then whatever affection he feels for the boy is sidelined or even sacrificed to other narrative considerations.

So basically Bruce’s love for Damian has no significance in itself. It’s a given that doesn’t particularly need to be illustrated or expanded on; it’s stocked until we need it to breed impact in some scenes. Like the one above or, you’ve guessed it, Damian’s death. So yeah Bruce loves Damian. He loves him so much he’s sad when he dies. Ahem.

All in all it’s not a father-son story: else there would be more banter, slice of life sequences, time for the dynamic to develop, etc. It’s a hero-who-loses-stuff-in-war story. One story isn’t better than the other, they just appeal to different types of audiences.

“Does my father love me” is a personal thus small stake. Batman Inc/Leviathan or “Can I keep this future from happening” are world-wide to city-wide thus big stakes. I think a marked interest in the Big Ideas is what characterizes Morrison’s writing. Thus the portrayal of character relationships has a very specific place in his stories.

Anyway: I don’t think Morrison ever wanted to imply Bruce doesn’t care about Damian. It’s just that he’s a plot-driven writer and that both characters’ interactions & smaller stakes, although somewhat present in his narratives, will always come second in the big schemes of things.

If you consider that Bruce behaving like he does under Morrison’s pen proves he doesn’t give a damn about Damian though, I sure as hell won’t fault you for it.

B) Bruce & Damian in The Resurrection of Ra’s al Ghul

(God re-reading an in-character Talia these days is an oasis in the desert. Gotta love that arc all the more for that.)  

Not gonna lie fam. Our two Anons are right when they say Bruce is pretty cold in that one.

But A) Bruce is also dealing with a crisis, which means he’s emotionally removing himself from the situation; B) he’s not treating Damian differently than he is Dick or Tim… which we’ll see is the problem tho.

It doesn’t excuse Bruce’s behavior (I think he’s out of line myself), but I just don’t think it implies he doesn’t care about Damian.

You’ll notice that his apparent aloofness applies to Tim too (and Dick although he’s not mentioned), and that it equally unsettles Talia.

[Nightwing (1996) #138]

I want to stress the apparent in aloofness. On several occasions during RoRAG Talia reproaches Bruce that he’s not confronting his feelings what else is new. I believe he’s worried about the boys, all of them, but he also trusts them to handle themselves. He also thinks that if he so much as voices his worry, he won’t be able to focus and do what he has to. So he represses them and goes fully in Batman-mode.

Fast-forward. When Bruce is barking at Damian to pick up a sword and fight, it’s his way of protecting him– he needs Damian to defend himself.

[Detective Comics (1937) #839]

Because it’s not fair to show this without context: 5 seconds before Bruce legit bites Damian’s head off, chill out dude, he goes all protective batdad upon seeing Ra’s trying to steal Damian’s body.

So yeah. I have reasons to believe Bruce is scared out of his mind here. Hence the very aggressive way he tries to shake Damian into action.

So far Bruce gets a pass. It’s afterwards that he deserved to be punched in the face imo, and that’s probably the scene our Anons had in mind:

In fact, Bruce is expecting the same from Damian than he’s expecting from his two other sons. To be precise, he’s not treating either of them as sons— they’re on the field, they’re Robin & Nightwing right now. Aka soldiers/partners/teammates rather than family. And Bruce is putting Damian on that exact level when he shouldn’t be.

It’s harsh, and that’s emphasized next to Talia (who is actually written like a Talia). She’s all aggressively worried mother and Bruce’s all cold commander, the contrast is off-putting.

Talia reacts like a mother first by fleeing to save herself and her son. But Bruce can’t let Ra’s to his own devices, and he expect his sons to fight beside him.

It’s unfair to Damian ‘cause he’s not Robin yet, he’s not part of Bruce’s war the way Dick and Tim chose to be, he didn’t choose to be dragged into Ra’s schemes: he’s snapping to attention at Bruce’s order out of a childish need for validation, not out of a conscious & thought-out choice to make this his life. Also he’s ten. Yet those considerations fly over Bruce’s head: right now and unlike Talia, he’s not thinking like a father.

Do I think Dini balances the Greater Good vs Familial Attachment dilemma better than Morrison does? Hell yeah. He took the time to show Bruce ripping Ra’s apart at the beginning of the issue to prove us Bruce cares. And for all that Bruce’s wrong here, Dini has him fighting beside Damian, not sending him off on his own. Talia’s fleeing with her son gives the reader a reality check & puts the validity of Bruce’s choice into question as it should be. The stakes are also so much more concrete that “distant dark future to avoid”.

Next is probably my fave line ever written about Bruce & Damian ‘cause it gives so much sense (or depth) to Bruce’s hands-off approach.

And like. Everything that Bruce says here is true. That’s exactly what Damian’s character arc should be about. But dude maybe try to have a relationship with your son outside of the Batman legacy? The thing is Bruce built his relationships with all his kids through vigilantism and I think he just. Doesn’t know how to do it differently. The idea doesn’t even cross his mind for god’s sake.

By my understanding it’s not that Bruce doesn’t love Damian. It’s that he genuinely believes Damian’s better off without him.

It’s low key confirmed in Bruce Wayne: The Road Home.

[The Road Home: Batman & Robin]

((Don’t trust anything Bruce says about Dick’s “casualness” or whatever in this issue tho. Nicieza just… doesn’t know Dick’s character all that much.))

So Bruce is basically taking the easy way out, yeah. Both in ‘Tec and in choosing it’s not worth trying to work with Damian as his partner. He decides Talia is a better parent & Dick is a better mentor than he could be, and he’s off fighting the good fight against Leviathan.

We can stretch it and say Bruce probs decided he’ll take care of his relationship with Damian after the Leviathan thing is dealt with but tbh I don’t know if DC or Morrison thought that far ahead.

Conclusion

Morrison’s narrative installs that Bruce does feel morally obligated to care for Damian. And although I get why it can feel uncertain, I’m not sure we’re supposed to doubt Bruce loves Damian.

Bruce not looking for Damian after the explosion is is more due to the writer’s choice to consider the “Damian issue” closed for now so that he can focus on his next plot/installment. I guess.

When Bruce has the idea to send Damian back to fake-Talia, I guess his love for his son is a tool used to show how much Bruce is a selfless hero*. and a terrible dad but he’s a Hero™ so it’s okay.

Bruce in RoRAG doesn’t come as indifferent to Damian’s safety to me, he’s being his dumbass self in a crisis situation. He’s got no excuse for sending Damian alongside Dick & Tim when he did though.

On two occasions Bruce unilaterally elects that Damian is better-off without him. First with the in-character Talia who actually loves her son, second as Dick’s partner.

* Actually it’d be very interesting if someone who liked that comic-book could explain me wtf I didn’t get about its narrative significance. Sometimes our personal tastes just render us blind to some things guys.

TL;DR: Does preboot!Bruce love Damian? Yes. Was he a good father to him? No.

And I’m feeling way more comfortable giving a categorical answer here than when I was asked if Bruce is, in general, a good father.

To be fair Bruce does try to step into a fatherly role in Morrison’s Batman #657, aka just after he meets Damian. Afterwards we get sidetracked; and later storylines just. Don’t really give Bruce & Damian the opportunity so share father-son moments.

His behavior in RoRAG is just plain bad. The fact that it’s not due to indifference doesn’t change that. The ten-year-old who didn’t ask for shit should be treated differently that the seasoned vigilantes Dick and Tim are, period.

Obviously leaving Damian in fake-Talia’s clutches or wanting to send him back to his abuser goes under “bad father points” too. If you consider the whole of Morrison’s run should be integrated into your personal understanding of the character, that is. woops look at that terrible bias showing its ugly face again

In later episodes, it’s tempting to give Bruce a pass by saying that he just didn’t get the chance/time to be a good father to Damian, and part of it is true. But again, failing to invest in that relationship is completely in-character, and tbh it’s the part I find the most interesting character- and narrative-wise:

It’s A) self-depreciating (”Talia or Dick can provide my son what I can’t”); B) self-centered, in that Bruce doesn’t stop to consider what Damian thinks or wants; and C) cowardly, in that the second there’s someone else available to take care of Damian, Bruce stops trying to be a father and to invest himself emotionally because gasp, feelings!

As a comparison, think of how long it took for Bruce to go from mentor-protégé-e to father-child in his relationship with Tim and Cassandra; and to admit that’s how he felt about those kids. He didn’t adopt Dick until he was an adult either. Batdad needs time to un-constipate. It’s a Bruce thing, not a Bruce & Damian one.

(Jason is the only kid with whom Bruce immediately builds a wholesome relationship and that’s where you cry because if Jason didn’t die Bruce wouldn’t have half as much trouble getting close to his kids.)

Hope this word-vomit answers that. Thanks for the asks!

[yourcoolfriendwithallthecandy]

Keep Your Eyes On Me Part 2

So this is part 2 of my submission to @waiting4inspiration ‘s 2k follower challenge. In case you missed part 1

Warnings- implied nudity, language, I think that’s it. That good good (smut/lemon) is in part 3 tho so heads up. 

Part 2

You got up and stretched before you took off your dragon armor and dragon wool outer layers and lounged around your home away from home and made yourself something to eat before you got into bed in just your dragon silk under layers, what essentially looked like a tank top and leggings and got into your own bed and read from your ‘journal’ all the “history” you’d be changing if things went according to plan as the fire in your shelter stayed ever burning, keeping things comfortable which lulled you into sleep too before long. 

You woke up only moments before Bjorn did and barely had your dragon wool outer layers on by the time he opened his eyes. 

“Am I in Valhalla?” He asked as he looked around, this..didn’t look like Valhalla. Although he wasn’t in nearly as much pain as his mind told him he should be in, so maybe…

“No,” you shook your head no as you continued getting dressed and put your armor on over your wool layers because you didn’t trust him to not harm you yet. The way any wounded animal bites. 

“What is that?” He questioned as he gestured to what you were wearing. 

“It’s my armor.” You answered as you fastined it and ran your hands over it. 

“What’s it made out of?” He asked as he eyed it’s texture. 

“Dragon scales.” you beamed proudly. 

“What?” He shook his head in confusion. 

“I’m a Valkyrie from Asgard remember? Well, more specifically Neveah. Dragons still fly free there, they’ve died out here a long time ago. At home we’ve also domesticated them. Dragons are like…big scaley horses as far as temperament goes. When dragons shed their scales so that they can grow new, bigger ones, we collect them and make armor out of them. When they do, they reveal the dragon’s down, the way a duck or goose has down, like a soft fuzzy hair under each scale. However for some breeds of dragon, we’ve bred them so that the downy hair grows more abundantly instead of the scales, it grows like sheep’s wool, mare dragons, their down is much finer than a stud dragon’s is, mares grow what’s called dragon silk, stud dragon’s down is much thicker and it’s a bit rougher, they grow dragon’s wool. It’s really hard to dye to make different colors, ten times longer than it takes anything else to dye but once it dyes, the color never fades, ever. It’s also super durable while being breathable and depending on how you weave it, it can take the sweat off of you while not letting you get wet like if you’re out in the rain and it’s a bit stretchy. But it’s so tough that only dragon’s teeth can cut it decently well, Thankfully dragons regrow their teeth every shed and then once they reach full size, they regrow a new set every ten years or so. Baby dragons’ teeth, we use those for needles, medium teeth, perfect for small knives and scissors, the larger teeth, swords.” You explained as you pointed to the different layers of clothes you were wearing to show the differences in fabrics as Bjorn reached out to feel the fabric before you gestured to your dragon toothed sword on your hip before you handed him your dragon tooth knife to look at. It looked like rainbow titanium. It was always important to mix the truth in with the lies so that the whole was more believable because the truth was, back at home in the future medical science brought back dragons, all the varieties in ancient lore but with a twist of being domesticated. And you were really from an island nation called Neveah. 

“You really are a Valkyrie.” He breathed in awe before he handed the blade back to you. 

“Well on this plane I am, back home I’m a Dragoner.” You smiled proudly as you put the knife back in its place, and that was true, you and your whole family were Dragoners. Some of the best in Neveah. “Are you hungry?” you asked thoughtfully. As you got another pillow and helped him sit up in bed a bit better and more comfortably.  

“Yeah,” he nodded. 

“Ok, let me make you the dagmal then.” You offered as you began to make some breakfast for you both. You made him griddle cakes with berries in the batter, drizzled with honey and some ham and sausages, scrambled eggs along with making him a fresh loaf of bread from your breadseed. 

Breadseed was something special that grew only in the poles in your time, it was discovered when some of the ice caps melted and looked like super large milo plants when it grew in the dead of winter, sunlight tended to burn the leaves of the plant so it only grew in the light of the moon and from the northern lights when the temperatures were consistently -50°. Because anything above zero, the plant wilted and turned to mush, but when picked when you harvested the seeds and very carefully and very slowly brought it up to room temperature while you dehydrated it, they were fine, they made a delightful tea when steeped in hot water and was world renowned for its superb and surprisingly sweet and fruity flavor and longevity benefits. A handful of breadseed seeds looked like bronzer pearls, the more pearlescent the seed, the sweeter it was and came in varieties and flavors that most would recognize as bread and cake flavors. How the breadseed itself worked was you took a kernel which had a waterproof husk and once that was peeled away right before consuming since the husk kept it fresh, you put it into water, it expanded exponentially and grew very hot, baking itself and became something that mimicked and perfectly resembled a new loaf of bread and had all the health benefits that bread had and then some including added vitimins and minerals that were easy for everyone to digest, the loaves were the size of a soccer ball with a pocket, the size of your fist, on the inside in the middle, where still more breadseeds lined it. A handful of breadseed could feed an army. Back home they were international currency, but here and now they were just plain food. 

You took the round loaf and split it, one half was two thirds of the loaf and the other was about a third of the size of the whole, you didn’t need to eat a lot, this poor man hasn’t had a good meal in a very long time, he would appreciate the larger half but the action helped you to get at the pocket in the middle and scooped the breadseeds out and added them to your breadseed pouch before you went back to Bjorn and served him his breakfast or simply, his day meal which is what the dagmal was to him- in bed. Using the little table you had attached to the bed to set everything on so he didn’t have to balance it all in his lap. 

“Here you go.” You offered before you got him a large cup of buttermilk. Vikings liked buttermilk to drink for their day meal. Or so you’ve read. 

“Why are you doing all of this for me? There were others there that deserve this more than I do.” He asked as he looked at all the food and hesitated in eating it. 

“Odin has a path for you, I’m here to help you find it, walk in it and follow it. Once you do, I’ll be gone as quickly as I came, because by then, you won’t need me or my guidance.“ You informed him. 

“What is the path?” He asked as he slowly started to eat. 

“I’m not allowed to tell you, because if I do, it won’t happen. But you’ll know it when it’s in front of you.” You gently urged before you gave him a reassuring squeeze of his shoulder with a gentle smile before you left back into the kitchen area of your tent as Bjorn thought over your words and brought your food over to the little table and one of the chairs and ate yourself, drinking your freshly squeezed orange juice and bacon and omelet with pancakes and sausage as you low key looked at him out of the corner of your eye and noticed how he suddenly seemed to try to eat everything all at once. 

“This is so good,” he praised between bulging mouthfuls. 

“Thank you.” You smiled proudly. 

“So what’s your name Valkyrie?” He asked curiously. 

“What would you like to call me?” You returned, knowing he’d probably like you better with a norse name rather than your own. 

“Astrid.” Bjorn decided since you were still, the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen in his life and that name suited you perfectly. 

“Astrid it is.” You smiled back.

After he ate, he fell back asleep and once he was out, you took away the dishes and put them in the sink before the automatic washer washed them for you before you pulled up his biometric readouts from him into the simulation model and were pleasantly surprised when he was healing at a much higher rate than estimated before you recalibrated your algorithms to get a better and more accurate prediction for when he would heal. He should be out for the next…2 hours or so. Plenty of time for you to get a bath because your deodorant was dying and you could use one since back on Neveah, you bathed twice a day. Once in the morning to be clean for the day and then again at night, usually a bath to relax and unwind before bed.  

You got undressed and went into the bathroom section of your tent where a large tub was already full of swirling hot water and you undressed and stepped into the water and blew out a breath of relief as you stepped into the hot water and sat down before a tray lifted from the side, showing you a bath bomb and a vile of bath oil. 

You happily took it and dropped the bathbomb in before you smelled the bath oil. Ooh, jasmine with hints of lilac and gardenia. Hell yeah, you poured it in before you took off your face mask that morphs your face to appear however you wanted it to look and took it off and put it on it’s holder before you took the headband off that made your hair take on the long blonde hair Vikings loved and revealed your blue razzberry blue hair in it’s ponytail and pulled your hair down before you took the universal translator out of your ears and the projected screen in front of your face so that to everyone looking on, your face moved with your ranslated words and set them down on the tray and blew out a breath of relief and flexed your face as you rubbed your eyes before you slipped under the water and relaxed for a moment before the inside of the bathtub lit up and alerted you Bjorn woke up early which had you coming up out of the water to hurriedly put on your disguise again before Bjorn hobbled into the room and you ducked back into the water to press the hatch at the bottom of the tub to release an emergency bathing suit which you quickly put on under the water before you emerged because you were running out of breath. 

“Bjorn?” You said as you wiped the water off your face and looked at him questioningly. “You should be in bed, do you need something?” You asked as you moved to be closer to him. 

“A…bath.” Bjorn offered as his mouth went dry because your bathing suit was strapless and it appeared that you were naked because the waters were milky white from the dissolved bath bomb. 

“Oh, uh, sure, yeah,” you nodded in agreement and stood up and noticed the small pout he made when it was revealed that you were not naked and stepped out of the water to help him out of all of his clothes except for his underwear before you helped him into the water before you handed him a bar of soap, a washcloth and a comb. 

“You could join me.” Bjorn suggested sheepishly. 

“Only if you swear not to touch me.” You returned a little warily. 

“On my honor.” He immediately agreed before you joined him but sat across from him in the large tub and watched as he lathered the soap and began to clean himself up. 

“So how did you become a Valkyrie?” He asked. 

“I was recruited and trained like any soldier.” You answered simply. 

“So do you have a family back on Asgard?” He questioned. 

“I do. I have my parents and a sister and two brothers.” You revealed. 

“Is your sister a Valkyrie too?” He prodded, trying to get to know you. 

“No, she cares for the bloodlines of the family dragons as well as helping them lay successful clutches of eggs. My brothers handle the training of the dragons so they can take riders when they’re juveniles while my grandparents mainly care for all the grandchildren of the family and the baby dragons. My mother makes jewelry out of the shed scales of the babies as they grow while my father builds armor as do my brothers when they’re not training. That armor that I wear, my father built it just for me and it has never failed me.” You revealed with a fond smile. 

“Do you have a husband and children of your own?” Bjorn asked. 

“No, as a Valkyrie, I’m not allowed to have a husband or birth any children unless I retire first and I’m nowhere near retirement age.” You answered. 

“Do you want them?” He posed. 

“I’m sure I will eventually. But not at the moment.” You shook your head no. 

“What about you? Do you have a family back home that you’re anxious to return to?” You asked curiously as you tilted your head to the side. 

“I have a sister and her family are back in Kattegat. I haven’t seen her in a year, everyone else is dead.” He answered. “I was hoping to gain a fortune on this raid but so far there hasn’t been much to gain.” Bjorn explained. 

“The places you raid are learning and adapting to you and your tactics and word spreads faster than wildfire.” You surmised as Bjorn found himself nodding in agreement to that. “It means in order to get what you want, you may have to change your tactics.” You hinted which caused you to grin. “By the way, moving forward. There are rules for keeping my company. First, I am your guide to your path so that means when I give you advice, it would be best if you followed it because my purpose in giving it to begin with, is keeping you alive and keeping you safe but if you grow reckless, and abuse my help and support, I’ll call in a replacement and she will not be nearly as nice or as pretty as I am or worse yet, I’ll go back in time and leave you to die the way I found you. I’m as good as it gets. Second. I am not your slave, or thrall as you would call it or anything like that. You don’t boss me around. Third, this is as close as we get. I don’t mind being your friend on your journey, but anything more than that, especially anything romantic is out of the question and if you even hint at anything like that, I’m out and I’ll be replaced. Fourth, anyone who touches me without my consent, they loose their hands, including you. You can walk on your path with just one hand. Understood?” You proposed as you leveled him with a look. 

“Understood.” Bjorn nodded with a gulp. 

“Let’s shake on it.” You suggested before you shook hands with him as your materializer made him new clothes and armour. 

After that the conversation flowed much easier and you both got a better sense of who the other person was in terms of character until the water grew cold and you decided to get out. 

“Here, new clothes for you.” You said as you handed him the freshly made clothes made out a blend of dragon silk and dragon wool with dragon silk boxers which he had to get changed into himself. 

“This is really nice.” Bjorn said as he felt the fabric, nothing he had ever put on his skin had ever felt this good before. 

“Now, when you’re all healed up, I have new armor for you. It’s not dragon scale like mine, because giving you dragon scale is forbidden by The Code, but it’s the toughest thing in this world. Way down south of here, in a place called Africa, is a large lizard that they call the crocodile, it’s large enough that it can kill and eat people. This is it’s hide. It’ll stop most weapons. It’s the best I can give you.” You offered as you showed him his suit of armor. 

Getting him travel ready only took you four days rather than the seven you thought it would at first because he took the serums you injected into him better than anticipated and continued to make improvements and he surprised you every day by how well he was able to progress. This mission may take less time than you anticipated. 

Once he was ready, you set up a neural link between both of you, that way you could keep communicating without talking which would come in handy if you were in a form other than human and  transformed back into a horse, your tent changing in appearance to that of a normal tent of the time period from the outside and you were able to make it so that Bjorn could easily set it up and take it down before he put it on your saddle and rode you back to the camp where some of the survivors were and still nursing their own wounds and regrouping. 

“What happened to you?” They asked Bjorn. 

“I got caught in this horse’s reins and it dragged me north, I was able to tame it a little since she’s still green broke and half wild but obviously I was able to bring her back.” Bjorn answered since that was the answer both of you had agreed upon would be the most believable as he got off of you and lead you towards the rest of camp. 

“What are you wearing?” They asked as they eyed what he was wearing now. 

“Oh, this is what the dead fucker that was tied to her saddle was wearing, once I got him off of her and got her settled down, I saw that it was still good, I tried it on and it fit and it was better than what I was wearing.” Bjorn shrugged. “I think he was deserting the fight because she was packed with a tent and a bedroll and food.” He explained as he gestured to everything on your saddle. 

“Serves him right, filthy coward.” his surviving friends sneered but beamed proudly at Bjorn as they eyed you appreciatively as the shield maidens who had survived came over to you curiously as you greeted them sweetly and endeared yourself to them. 

Getting Bjorn and the others back home to Kettegat was more arduous than you expected but you and Bjorn grew closer as friends along the way, only appearing in your human form when you were alone with him, otherwise you were a horse and because of your senses and abilities you were always the first to alert the group of wolves and bears and even other people before you joined back up with another raiding party and traveled back home to Kettegat.

[thoughtfulpaperback]

SPOILERS!!!! CHARMED 01x18

Y'all....

First off I just want to talk about what I appreciate this episode

1) Tessa. Listen up, while I am more for Harry's, trust us to figure things out and ask for your help method of guidance, I appreciate any woman who is like "This is my job, I take it seriously and I will be respected when I know more than you." I dont like that she does come off as rude and obviously does not trust the girls and thier judgements, but I dont resent her for being efficient or even a strong personality.

2) Macy telling Galvin that Harry taught them that it is their actions not thier nature that define them. I mean as a Hacy fan this is just gold, but in general and as a HP fan Lines like this really mean a lot to me. Because I like feeling that we all have agency and our choices are still our own no matter what.

3) A conversation on race. Listen I am Latina and am in no way trying to steer the conversation away from Black people, but I really connected with this conversation and feel that Latinxs do have to deal with this as well. There is this complicated relationship as children of immigrants with our parents culture and the negotiation that happens as you grow up in America. Because on some level you know (in my case in particular) that you arent Mexican because if you went to Mexico little cultural clues and history would be lost on you, and yet you arent fully the "ideal American" who can fully connect with thos history that is taught to you and yet excludes you. Then there are those who are mixed races Latinxs who also question thier place on this scale of Mexicaness (my case) because some of the traditions are lost in negotiation as parents pick and choose what to introduce you too. Or in my sisters case where she is half Mexican and half Salvadorian she has this whole other history and part of her that she doesnt really know any thing about because growing up in an area that is predominantly Mexican she never really knew anything else. Maggie's struggles and feeling in between being brought up felt so powerful to me and I love that the show didnt gloss over it and recognize that she will have to deal and discover as she goes.

Now to things I dont appreciate

1) Missing Harry. Fiona is jacked up and I just want Harry back. Also I knew the Sarcana were just tools to her, but that carnage was not appreciated.

2) Galvin... look I am just gonna stick to the character. I gave him slack at first because 1. Macy wasnt that great of a communicator with him and 2. he didnt know about magic. I felt that he was flawed as a character in the way he went about his relationship with Macy and that they didnt have chemistry. BUT he was growing on me...NOW I am just done. I get it I do. He went through some scary stuff, at first the discovery of something new (magic) and getting the girl, that's enough to make anyone brave. If he is going to wimp out after the first bad experience LET HIM GO!! Harry and Nico have been through some Scary crap (granted Nico doesnt remember some of that, but I dont think she will scare easily) but as characters they still are ready to face whatever is next. Also hold my drink, my earrings, my bag, and me back because "I guess there are some forces out there stronger than love." YOU OBVIOUSLY NEVER WATCHED HARRY POTTER OR OG CHARMED OR ELSE YOU WOULD KNOW THAT LOVE IS THE STRONGEST MOST ANCIENT MAGIC THERE IS IN THE UNIVERSE!!!! HOW F**KING DARE YOU!! I guess there are some forces out there stronger than your ability to trust in someone else. I get that you are traumatized and you have every right to walk away, believe that I respect you more for leaving now than later when the poop hits the fan. What I dont appreciate is trying to kick Macy while she is down and putting it in her head that she cannot be loved with her demon-side. YOU cannot handle it, YOU are choosing yourself and your comfort (again not bad). Dont make this about her, dont make her think that love is based on stipulations. Even if you do learn how to still help out or be around magic carrying that trauma, I dont want you back. You dont deserve my queen.

Overall. I liked the episode but it felt like another stepping stone to get to where we need to be. I am ready for the next one.

[zoemurph]

to have a friend, chapter two: $40

on ao3 1

here we are again. hope everyone had a good october, mine was....something. sorry if the writing style/tone changes a bit throughout, i basically wrote this in two sittings, just two sittings with a month between them

warning: discussions of mental health, mentions of suicide/suicide attempts, suicidal thoughts, let me know if other warnings need to be added

enjoy!

Connor is starting to run out of places in town where he can be alone without someone in his family finding him. Zoe is a little too perceptive and his mother has eyes everywhere. It’s kind of creepy and Connor’s sick of it.

Still, they’ve yet to find him at the old elementary school playground so far. Maybe it’s because the playground is hidden behind the school and is surrounded on two sides by tall trees. Or just because it’s in the rundown part of town, abandoned until the town can think of something better to do with a building almost as old as the town itself.

Connor is pretty sure people have broken into the school before. There are definitely serious drug deals that take place under the biggest tree on the edge of the fields. But mostly it’s just empty.

Connor’s been here before to smoke. Yeah, he’s been the creepy teenager smoking on the swingset at three in the morning before. Who the fuck cares, no one comes by here to get him in trouble. But more often then not, he just comes here to think.

He sits on a swing and holds onto the rusting chains and just stares at his knees and thinks. Or dissociates. Or both. He can’t tell anymore.

It’s been a fucking day. He definitely hadn’t planned getting yelled at by Evan Hansen into his schedule.

For one, he didn’t think Evan had it in him. For another… Connor doesn’t actually know what he’d been expecting when he sat down in the computer lab instead of going to last period. Maybe that one thing in his life would be easy. He could apologize to Evan or something and they could maybe slowly make it seem like they were drifting apart or something.

Connor doesn’t know how friends work. It’s been years since he had a real one.

And Evan isn’t even a real one.

He walks the swing in circles, twisting the chains together until he can’t twist anymore, then lifts his feet from the ground. He lets his toes drag along the ground as he spins in slow circles, the chains groaning as they untwist.

He can still hear Evan’s voice in his mind, shouting at him.

I just jumped out of a fucking tree!

He tried to backtrack so quickly. Take back the truth he’d released to the world. But Connor saw it. There had been a moment of clarity.

That was Evan Hansen.

That singular moment of honesty says more about Evan Hansen more than he will ever say about himself. He’s awkward, anxious to a fault, and suicidal. He looks at the world and he doesn’t see a future. He sees in grays and muddled tones and doesn’t see something worth fighting for.

Or maybe that’s just Connor projecting.

The swing dips a little as it stops untwisting, moving back and forth with the remaining momentum. Sometimes, sitting on these swings, he feels like a little kid. Mostly he just feels out of place.

But it’s better than home. Home, where he has no bedroom door. Home, where his mom is desperate for him to get better but doesn’t know how to help. Home, where his father doesn’t want to face the facts or him. Home, where his sister has given up.

Home, which is a building and not much more.

Connor closes his eyes and rests his head against the old chain. Childhood doesn’t feel real anymore. It’s hard to believe he was a little kid. That he was happy. That he constantly didn’t feel like shit.

His entire life has been overshadowed and stained by his present. He wishes he’d been able to wipe it out— that he’d been able to wipe him out.

His phone buzzes in his pocket. Only twice. A text.

His other only calls. She leaves frantic voicemails and voicemails with forced cheer. Nothing else.

No one else contacts him.

Connor sighs and opens his eyes. The sky is starting to get dark already. As it gets closer to winter, night comes faster and god he can’t wait for the darkness to just swallow him whole.

Dramatic depressing stuff like that.

His phone buzzes in his pocket again. He leans away from the chain to pull his phone from his pocket. He squints at the overly bright screen as his eyes adjust.

From: (522) 114-8119 To: Connor      Im s o soryr I shoulnd t have  yelled a t you or said thos e things      And IM s orry that I ran out and tha t happend a dn

Connor stares at the screen. A few moments later, he gets another text.

From: (522) 114-8119 To: Connor      Cna  we talk tomorro w      After sc hool computer lba      IMs or y I can ttype righ tnow

Connor hesitates, fingers hovering over the screen. Part of him forgot he gave Evan his number. Part of him thought Evan would never try to contact him ever again.

From: Connor To: (522) 144-8119      its fine      and ok      ill see you there

—«·»—

Connor slams the front door to announce that he’s home. He doesn’t bother actually using his voice, he’s tired and ready to just lay in bed and stop existing for a while.

“Don’t slam the door,” his father says from where he’s sitting on the couch, reading a newspaper.

Connor rolls his eyes. There are only so many doors he can slam in this house nowadays. He’s going to take advantage of what he can get.

His mom leans out from the kitchen, a smile plastered onto her face. She looks tired, even though she’s trying not to. Connor knows better. As the cause of most of her stress and frustration, he absolutely knows better. “How was your first day back, sweetie?” she asks. And she’s trying to be so excited for him.

Cynthia Murphy is attempting to hold her household together with pure faked optimism alone. She is the only positive force in the family, but it’s wrong and plastic.

Connor shrugs and makes his way toward the stairs.

“Answer your mother,” Larry says. Sort of mutters, sort of uninterested sounding, sort of irritating.

Connor stops on the bottom stair with his hand on the railing and turns to look at his mom. “It was whatever.”

“Is that all?” She twists a dishrag in her hands.

He sighs. She probably deserves more than that. “It was boring. Missed a lot. I’ve got homework. Probably going to fail out of math. Lunch is still shit—”

“Language,” Larry mutters.

“And the guidance counselor only talked to me for seventeen minutes this time.” Connor glances to his mom. “So yeah. It was okay.”

Cynthia smiles again, a little less forced. “I’m glad. I’ll call you for dinner, see what you can get done, okay?”

Connor nods.

He’d rather not deal with dinner.

—«·»—

“How’s Evan?” is this first question Cynthia asks when Connor sits down for dinner and puts half a spoonful of tonight’s vegetable of the day on his plate.

“He’s fine,” Connor mutters. He needs to end this conversation as fast as humanly possible.

“That’s wonderful, he seems like a nice boy.”

Larry hums in agreement and Connor tries not to grimace. Zoe just looks bored.

“He’s…cool.” Maybe vague compliments will work until his mom gets tired of this line of questioning.

“You’ve never told us about Evan,” she muses. “You aren’t even friends on Facebook!”

Connor’s brain goes into panic mode because oh shit. Of course Cynthia checked Facebook, that’s possibly one of the most predictable things she’s ever done. Which— fuck, Connor definitely should’ve seen this coming.

“People don’t use Facebook anymore, Mom,” Zoe says flatly, staring down at her plate.

Connor glances at her and then does a double take, gesturing to her. “That.”

Cynthia purses her lips. “I still use it.”

Zoe flicks her gaze to Connor before looking back to their mom. “You know what I mean.”

“I can ask him if he has one if you want me to,” Connor says, because if this conversation doesn’t end he’s going to come up with some sort of escape plan and he does not have a good track record with those.

Cynthia smiles and, god, does Connor feel guilty. This better be worth it in the long run.

Connor goes to school like he doesn’t have to drag himself out of bed and force himself into the car. He pretends he doesn’t hate Zoe’s music choices or notice that she stops more suddenly than she has to. He just grits his teeth and focuses on the cookie cutter houses they’re passing.

He hates the suburbs.

“I have rehearsal today,” Zoe says when she parks the car. “Figure out how to get home or wait.”

Connor rolls his eyes and slams the door harder than he knows he has to. “I’ll walk,” he grumbles.

The thing about high school is that it’s boringly and horribly constant. It’s also just fucking awful, but it’s mind numbing and dull. Even if Connor actually tried, and he can’t exactly remember the last time he did, he would not be having a good time.

He’s pretty sure the only people who have a good time in high school are the people whose lives will only go downhill from here and the people who are fucking lying to themselves.

The bells are piercing and make him grimace and the awful rotating yet standard schedule is one of the worst things to ever happen to him. He hates seeing the same people in the same space every single day. He can hear Alana Beck talking his ear off about the factory system and how the American education system creates people who follows rules more than anything else as she conformed to the system and followed all the rules back when they were sophomores in a boring, standard english class that left Connor feeling tired and bored.

He stalks down the hallway, glaring whenever anyone gets too close. One of the few perks of being known as the kid who may actually try to kill someone. People leave him the fuck alone.

The last time he really did homework was the end of sophomore year. All he has to do is not fail. And that doesn’t require doing homework.

If Connor tried, he could probably be a half decent student. But Zoe tries hard enough for the both of them and he would rather just get high.

At this point, his biggest problem in school is staying conscious through the whole thing.

He spends lunch in the library, hiding in a back corner where no one ever goes and pulls a random book off the shelves and reads about someone he’s never heard of until the bell rings and he forces himself to go back to a class that makes his eyes glaze over as people discuss readings that he absolutely did not do.

Connor finds himself getting almost anxious as the end of the day nears. He’s not sure why, sure Evan wants to talk, but it can’t be that bad. Evan holds the cards at the moment, but they’re both in this mess together. The worst Connor can think of is Evan bringing Kleinman and Kleinman being…himself.

Connor stalls in his last class for a few minutes while everyone clears out. His teacher ignores him to talk to a student that actually tries and once the hallways have cleared a bit, Connor gets up and takes the long way to the computer lab.

The long way is away from the school entrance, meaning the hallways are almost empty aside from a few laggers. No one wants to spend any more time in this hellhole than necessary. With it’s annoying posters and rows and rows of never ending lockers that no one ever uses. They’re pointless, just there for show and storing things kids aren’t supposed to have on school grounds.

When Connor pushes open the door to the computer lab, Evan Hansen is awkwardly standing in the middle of the room, gripping the straps of his backpack in his hands.

Connor raises his eyebrows at him. “Hey.”

Evan takes a shaky breath. “H-hi.”

“So.” Connor drops his back on the floor and kicks it closer to one of the tables. “You wanted to talk.”

“I-I wanted to apologize,” Evan says quickly, “for yesterday because I didn’t mean to— I shouldn’t have assumed or, like, implied that you were, I mean, that you wanted to—” He shakes his head. “That you were. Using me? That was— I was…confused by— confused because of, of the timing but that doesn’t mean it was…okay.”

Connor crosses his arms. “Yeah, well, if I kill myself it’s not going to be fucking performance art.”

Evan winces.

“If my family is going to mourn something they’re going to mourn actual me, not the me some stranger makes up because my mom thinks we’re buddies or something even though we aren’t even friends on Facebook.”

Evan frowns. “F-facebook?”

Connor waves a hand. “Never mind. The point is, I was using you. Just not…like that. I am using you. Currently. Present tense. If…you’re still in?” He reaches into his pocket and pulls out another twenty dollar bill. He holds it out to Evan.

Evan stares at it. “Y-you still want to…to do this?”

“I have three choices,” Connor says. “One: we keep doing this and then slowly break it off. Two: we fake a big fight and never speak to each other ever again. Or three: I tell my parents it was a lie. Haven’t thought that one through yet.”

Evan chews on his bottom lip. “Okay.”

Connor raises an eyebrow. “You’re in?”

Evan nods.

“Good.” He walks over to Evan and shoves the money into his hand. He yanks his hand away and shoves it in his pocket before Evan can tell it’s shaking.

“W-why—?”

“It’s been a week,” Connor explains. “There’s your twenty. We agreed to that.”

Evan stares at the bill in the palm of his hand. “Um…right. Right. Do we,” he glances up at Connor, “are there…other rules? Or like? A plan or are we just…?”

“Winging it?” Connor suggests.

Evan makes a face. “Let’s— can we not do that? That sounds like a bad idea.”

“Okay fine. Rule number one, we don’t tell anyone else about this.” Connor gestures between the two of them. “If no one else knows, it’s easier to keep it a secret.”

Evan grimaces. “J-Jared will know.”

“What?”

“He— Jared can always tell when I’m lying, he’s-he’s really good at it. It’s…kind of scary, actually.”

Connor scowls. “Seriously? Are you that bad a liar?”

Evan shakes his head quickly. “We’ve just known each other— it’s been so long he can just…tell.”

Connor sighs. “Okay then. Can we trust Jared?”

“I wouldn’t say that.”

“We’re fucked.”

“I-I think…” Evan trails off.

“You think what?” Connor prompts.

Evan takes a breath. “I think…if we tell him an-and explain everything, we have a better chance of him keeping it a secret. Because then he— he’s included in it or something? Since he’ll figure it out anyway it might just be best to…to tell him right away.”

If someone has to know, Connor would not have chosen Jared Kleinman to be that person. But if he has to do it…

“Whatever,” Connor decides. “We swear him to secrecy and threaten to hurt him if he tells anyone.”

Evan tugs on his shirt. “Um…yeah th-that— okay.”

Connor rolls his eyes. “I won’t actually hurt him.”

“I knew that,” Evan mutters.

“We can come up with other rules on the fly,” Connor offers.

Evan opens his mouth and then closes it quickly.

“What?”

“I…” He shakes his head. “It’s nothing.”

Connor groans. “It’s not nothing! Just tell me!”

“I don’t know anything about you!” Evan bursts out. “H-how do we—? We’re supposed to be best friends? How long have we been friends? What do we do when we hang out? What if people ask us questions?!”

Those are good points that Connor hadn’t considered because he’s been doing this on impulse. Obviously, Evan has thought this through a bit more. Connor runs a hand through his hair. “Are you free right now?”

“N-not right now,” Evan stutters. “Later tonight?”

“You still have my phone number?” Connor asks instead.

Evan nods.

“Text me when you’re free, we can figure stuff out then.” Connor moves to leave. “If…you’re cool with that?”

“Fine!” Evan says quickly.

Connor eyes him before shrugging and turning away. “Okay. I’ll see you later then.”

“Yeah…s-see you”

—«·»—

Connor walks home from school, because Zoe is at rehearsal for another hour and he’s a.) not hanging around school for that long and b.) not spending more time in the car with her than necessary. It takes a while and his mom is still somehow worried about him crossing a highway, but he doesn’t care. The walk is strangely nice. Kind of calming and gives him some time to think. Mostly about Evan Hansen.

Knowing his mother, they’re going to need a hell of a backstory. She likes to dig until she hits rock bottom. And then she pulls out a pick ax and starts swinging.

“I’m home!” he shouts as he throws open the front door. He closes it and waits for the usual “how was school, honey?” to come from the kitchen before he starts making his way up the stairs.

“It was fine,” he answers. “Doing homework.”

Connor didn’t think either of them believed that, but whatever. He threw his bag onto the floor and kicked off his shoes before flopping onto the bed.

Now he just has to wait for Evan.

—«·»—

Connor wakes up with a jerk when his phone starts buzzing repeatedly. He rolls onto his back and pulls his phone out of his pocket, squinting at the screen as his heart tries to calm down.

From: (522) 114-8119 To: Connor      Im hom e      Sorry if htis is a bad item for you

Connor changes the contact name from the number to Evan’s name before he responds.

From: Connor To: Evan      its fine im not doing anything      can i come over yours?

Connor glances around his room, eyes settling on the doorframe. They definitely can’t do this here. He hopes Evan is cool with them sitting in an abandoned playground if all else fails.

From: Evan To: Connor      Thats fine!!!      You need my address don t you that would probably be helplfu

He keeps laying in bed until Evan’s sent the address and Connor has found it on Google Maps. He can walk, it’s not too bad.

The world spins a little bit when he stands up from his bed, swaying and darkening as the blood rushes from his head.

Connor stumbles out of his room and down the stairs, figuring he probably doesn’t need to bring anything with him to Evan’s. All they’re going to do is talk.

He glances at the time. Hopefully his mom doesn’t care if he skips dinner tonight.

Connor takes a pit stop in the kitchen and steals an apple from the bowl on the island on his way to the front door.

“Dinner is soon,” Zoe says pointedly from where she’s leaning against the counters.

Connor ignores her. “I’m going over Evan’s,” he says to Cynthia.

She looks up from the frying pan in surprise. “You are?”

He shrugs and takes a bite of the apple. “Yeah we’re going to…” he should’ve thought of an excuse earlier, “play a video game. Or something.”

Cynthia claps her hands together. “That’s great! Have fun and let me know when you get there and when you’re on your way back, okay?” She presses a kiss to Connor’s cheek. “And make sure you eat!”

“I will,” Connor mumbles.

“You don’t even know him,” Zoe mutters.

Fuck. He should’ve known Zoe backing him up last night was an outlier. Connor glares at her and flips her off.

“Zoe, be nice,” Cynthia says firmly. “Text me when you get there, Connor.”

He nods and leaves before Zoe can make any more commentary. He can only hope she doesn’t press it while he isn’t there.

Connor eats his apple as he follows the directions on his phone. Evan’s house isn’t too far, but it’s already starting to get darker and this town is shit, so the streets aren’t exactly well lit.

He stands on a street corner and watches a truck go by with complete disregard for a stop sign before he crosses the street and turns onto Evan’s road.

Connor pauses outside the house that matches the number and description Evan gave. He sends a quick text as he walks up the walkway to the front door.

From: Connor To: Evan      outside what i think is your house      gonna knock

Connor knocks once before the door swings open. He blinks in surprise as Evan stares at him.

Connor clears his throat. “Hey…can I come in?”

Evan steps out of the way. “Y-yeah of course you can— just. Yeah, take off your shoes here that’s… You can do that.”

Connor steps inside and takes off his boots as Evan closes and locks the door. “Parents home?” he asks.

Evan shakes his head. “No my mom’s— she’s working late tonight. Long night.”

“Dad?” Connor asks absentmindedly as he drops his boots by Evan’s shoes.

He looks up when Evan doesn’t answer.

Evan is staring at the floor with his eyebrows furrowed, picking at his cast.

“Oh shit, I didn’t mean—”

“I-it’s fine,” Evan interrupts. “He’s not here. It’s just— just me and my mom.” Evan gestures down the hallway. “Let’s just— follow me.”

He leads Connor into a kitchen, smaller and older than the one in the Murphy household. There’s a twenty dollar bill sitting on the table and a pile of dirty dishes in the sink.

“I-I don’t have any—” Evan shakes his head. “I have money to order pizza if…you want.”

“Maybe in a bit.” Connor leans against the counter. “I uh…never apologized for taking that letter, did I?”

Evan laughs awkwardly. “N-not real— I mean it’s fine! It’s fine it’s, it’s not a big deal it’s just…”

“What?” Connor asks slowly. “What was it?”

Evan takes a deep breath and tugs on the hem of his shirt. “I-it was an assignment for— for therapy.”   

Connor raises his eyebrows. “You go to therapy?”

“Yeah? I, um, I have… severe anxiety?” Evan gestures to himself. “And depression but that’s kind of— to a lesser extent usually? But yeah. It’s um…the letter— it’s supposed to make me more positive about my day? Uh, dear Evan Hansen, today’s going t-to be a good day and here’s why…” He trails off and glances to the sink.

Connor hesitates before he says his next thought. “My parents… They thought it was a my suicide note.”  

Evan closes his eyes tightly and opens them. “Uh yeah well, I-I mean it’s…it’s supposed to be a positive thing but it’s— it’s almost never a good day? In fact it’s usually a very bad day and the first day of school was a— it wasn’t…There wasn’t much positive in it. And Zoe, I— The letter was— It wasn’t meant for you it was for this assignment. And Zoe is— after you, you know.” Evan gestures to Connor and Connor tries not to grimace.

“Zoe saw me and-and she talked to me and she’s— Ihavethisreallysillycrushonher which is silly because I don’t even know her! The letter says I don’t even know her cause I don’t, she’s just— she’s a girl who’s pretty and nice and she smiles a lot and she doesn’t seem bothered by anything.” Connor raises his eyebrows. “She seems to have herself figured out and that’s— she’s just a girl I see sometimes and I guess that’s—”

Evan ducks his head. “She saw me and she helped me up. That doesn’t happen. Not— not to me.”

Connor looks away. There are a lot of things to process in that and his mind doesn’t want to process any of them. His eyes land on the money on the table.

“What kind of pizza do you like?” Connor asks.

“W-what?”

Connor steps forward and picks up the bill. “Pizza,” he repeats. “What do you want? I’ll make the call.”

Evan blinks a few times. “Uh…cheese is fine?”

“Cool.” He pulls out his phone. “Let’s see how much food we can get for twenty bucks.”

Evan gives him a weak smile. “O-okay.”

Connor paces around the kitchen as he places the order at the pizza place. There are places in town where you can order online, but their sauce isn’t as good and their breadsticks are shitty. Once he’s hung up, he sits down at the table and gestures for Evan to do the same.

“You wanted to figure things out, right?” Connor asks, tapping his fingers on the table.

Evan nods.

“Let’s do this then.”

[skraelofthenorthwind]

douxie-casperan​:

Douxie waits patiently by resting his chain on his bridged fingers waiting for them to speak again without prodding for an answer carefully watching for any expression changes or any little give aways that might help him out aside from the clearly growing confusion.

The question catches him off guard somewhat though in part for sounding so damn archaic. 

“On the magical front if they have their own communities will have some form of check in even if might have to travel a fair bit, more than a few completely off the radar no idea how they manage if something goes after them, got a few that band together of like minded though that tends to be covens then you get the lone wolves running round too. If you’re lucky and in trouble you find one of them, if not well best to hope you had a good run if can’t shake off the problem. Nobody can be everywhere at once after all and it’s not as easy to move around as it used to be.”

As much as he truly adores travelling with the constant need for documents and harder borders suck half the fun out of it. That and even those with the spirit embedded in their soul have to stay put in one place for a while though admittedly this is incredibly unique circumstances that do not involve feeling homesick.

“Everythings pretty fragmented these days and most people could expect to run into would be a changeling but that all caught fire recently so even that’s out too now… The survivors rightly fled hoping the underground would accept them,” he says shrugging while leaning back into his chair causing the front legs to lift just a bit.

“I doubt there’s a single person not at this very table that believes it ever existed or could making the mythical and whatnot closest thing to living ghosts you can get and far more focused on their own problems things are pretty divorced and have been a long time. Still there tho if you know where to look, just very aware of what happens if the wrong person finds out and the older ones carry the scars of being caught.” 

The chair taps to the ground again upon hearing the question and he gestures towards his face in general.

“Mmn, the eyes mostly and,” then to Skrael’s chin.

“That, he’s got the same bit too distinctive not to notice. Seen other facial markings and tattoos sure but never exactly the same. I’ll be perfectly honest I’ve never asked about it just seemed kinda rude to almost? Not everyone is okay with getting these things pointed to.”

“I... am not sure I understand. So the magic users are either alone by choice or a part of a group - that much is clear - but how are the responsibilities divided when it comes to looking after people who does not use magic? How are they protected from magical threats?”

He frowns slightly.

“Would a group of magic users journey from place to place, perhaps, to serve as needed?”

That sounds familiar enough, much like Tak, Maurgh and Skrael did, although each journey alone, moving from one territory to another so that no tribe are completely without guidance or protection.

“Surely, even if people were unaware of magic, those who wield it would not abandon them? By the way you speak, it sounds like those affiliated with magic are... cautious. But who would dare to capture them and give them scars?” He is quiet for a moment, recalling some tribesmen who feared magic and the result of their actions - and he sighs. “Nevermind, I can imagine.”

When the other indicates to his chin, he touches the black line automatically. It has to be a coincidence.

“Where I come from the few of us who uses magic gets a mark that is unique to them alone. It indicates a skill of theirs that they excel at above all else, and that there is none better.” A light shrug. “I suppose the design isn’t so unique that nobody else might have thought of it.” But he looks doubtful as he says it. Somebody with that mark and blue eyes? Where he comes from, he is the only one with that eye color, apart from Maurgh. If the line reminds the stranger of somebody he knows, there might be other indications.

“Are there... other similarities?”

[not-so-mundane-after-all]

There’s not enough fanfics of those two, so I wrote one

Sorry in advance, this is gonna be longer than I thought. But please read :)

So I recently re-watched The Shannara Chronicles because it’s coming back soon and I needed to remind myself why I love it so much. The landscapes, the music, the plot, the relationships... mostly relationships. And I don’t mean only romantic relationships.

I’m a sucker for any kind of family relations. I love the dynamic between the royal family and I remember, watching the pilot for the first time, I cried when Will’s mom was dying even if I had no freakin’ idea who the hell those people were at the time. (I never read the books - but I’m going to)

But what really got to me was the relationship between Amberle and Ander (the show literally starts with those two, how cool is that?) It’s such a beautiful and strong bond. You can say he stepped into a father figure mode when Aine died, he’s protective but he also is very supportive and lets Amberle do her own thing. And I love the banter. It’s so sad that he didn’t get to say goodbye to her at the end but they were beautifully written and shown at the beginning (except the end of ep 4 when the trio is leaving, after the famous line ‘Loverboy can fill you in” - Amberle comes to Ander and hugs him but camera cuts that because Allanon and Will’s conversation is “more important”)

So as I usually do, I decided to check out fanfics (fanfiction.net and AO3). And you know what I found? NOTHING. I mean, there is one short oneshot and a few bits here and there in other fanfics but basically their tag is one empty hole. Not good.

So i wrote one myself. And I hope you’ll like it. If not, I’ll just leave it here, maybe someone someday finds it xD

 So anyways, this is a little bit of an AU, I changed the ending of the season (spoiler alert) - Amberle didn’t become a tree. Instead she saved the Ellcrys without sacrificing herself. So it starts when the battle is over, Amberle, Allanon and Will and in the Sanctuary and Ander comes there. I just wanted to showcase how deep this bond can possibly go, I used few little headcanons I had, just wanted to show what they are to each other andwhat they mean to each other. It’s my first fanfic so helpful criticism and tips are welcome. So... enjoy :) 

An Useperatable Duo

With a loud cracking noise, door to the Sanctuary opened. Ander stepped inside, his breath heavy but his posture steady. His eyes searched quickly the area, part of him still expecting one of Dagda Mor's soldiers to jump at him from the corner. But they stopped at the sight of a long wave of brown hair and big green eyes now glued to him.

“Amberle..” he whispers but in the quiet of the Sanctuary it sounds like a scream. She smiles, taking few steps his way. And the next second he's holding her in his arms, crying, his face hidden in her long locks. Amberle is crying too, holding onto him desperately.

“Uncle Ander....” she weeps and he can't help but smile at the words. When Amberle was born, he was barely a teenager. He remembered taking her to his arms for the first time. She was crying loudly and noone could calm her down, but the moment he took her from Aine – she fell silent. Big green eyes met his and that was the moment his heart was stolen by her. And now, after this long and dangerous adventure, when her puffy eyes met his again and he washed away her tears with his thumb, leaving his hand on her cheek a little longer – it felt like that first time again. His niece, the light in his life and a beacon of hope was right here, with him and it felt like everything is right in the world again.

“There were moments I thought I'll never see you again, baby girl” he says, using her childhood nickname he gave her so long ago. “I'm glad that you're ok.”

“I was worried about you too. Especially after seeing the battlefield. And... Alanon told me about Grandpa...” she adds after a moment, her voice starting to crack. “...and Arion...”

“Hey, hey shh....” he whispers, bringing her closer and kissing her forehead. “I know, I know. It hurts. But they died doing what they were born to do – defending our kingdom. And they were very proud of you. We all are.”

She smiles and then hugs him again. “I'm proud of you too, Uncle Ander. I always new the crown would suit you”

“I'm trying to do my best. Now” he lets her go but leaves a hand on her shoulder, and looking at Alanon and Will standing few feet away, asks “Do you mind telling me what the hell happened here?”

***

After such a large battle, it surprised Amberle that it was so quiet everywhere now. Like nothing ever happened. She was in her chambers, lying on her bed, her eyes locked on the celling. She was still processing everything. It felt good to be finally home, but at the same time... She was worried about Eretria. Amberle knew she wanted them to go but still the fact that they left her there was making her feel sick and guilty. She was worried about Will, who's powers were growing stronger and he had a lot to learn, especially considering what the Elvestones could do to a person using them. And she was worried about Ander, who rised to power under hard and devastating circumstances and even tho she always knew he would make a great king, she also knew he didn't feel ready. He had a big shoes to fill after Eventine, her father Aine and Arion, the Kingdom will need his help and guidance and she's going to stand beside him every step of the way.

Because there's just the two of them now. From the entire Ellesedil bloodline, they were the only ones standing.

When she thinks about it, it was always just the two of them. The unseperatable duo. Even when her father Aine was still alive, little princess would spend hours with her youngest uncle – playing in the gardens or horseriding in the woods – while her father attended all kinds of royal meetings. When Aine died, she suddenly started to feel alone. Her father was gone, her grandfather was too busy to properly take care of her, Uncle Arion seemed not to care at all, and Ander... he stepped back, became very closed and sad all the time, fell into alcohol addiction. But even as a little girl she knew she can't loose him too.

 The night after Aine's funeral she couldn't sleep. She wandered through the empty, silent halls barefoot, only in her nightgown and before she knew it she found herself at the door to Sanctuary. There was noone around – the King dissmissed the guards for that one night, to give his family a moment of privacy. Young Amberle hesitated for a momemt and then, standing on her tiptoes, she opened the door. It was quiet and dark inside, the only light provided by the full moon. A little colder too but she didn't mind. But the place wasn't empty. She noticed Uncle Ander sitting on one of the Tree's big roots... but he didn't seem to notice her at all, starring at nothing with teary eyes, an empty little bottle in his hand. Her little heart acked for him, she knew that Aine's death hit him the hardest, besides her of course. So without even thinking she came closer to him, took the bottle out of his hand and climbed on his lap, putting her little arms around his waist. When she layed her head on his chest she felt him tense a little but then he relaxed again and ambraced her with as much force as she did.

“You can't sleep either, huh baby girl?” he whispered to her while putting a kiss on top of her head.

“I miss Dad too” she whispered back and burried her face in the crook of his neck. “And I don't want to be alone. Can I stay with you, uncle Ander? And we will miss him together.”

She felt his arms tighten around her and for a moment he was silent. But then he spoke. “I have a better idea. Why don't we take you to your room and we'll both try to get some sleep huh?”

She raised her head and looked at him. “And you're gonna stay?”

“Of course I'm gonna stay. In fact...” He looked her straight in the eyes and smiled. “I'm not gonna leave you Amberle, ok? Never. I promise.”

***

“You can't sleep either, huh baby girl?”

Those words got her back from her thoughts when Ander opened the door to her room.

“You caught me. How did you know?”

“Because I know you” he replied as he came closer and sat down at the edge of her bed. She noticed a crown on his head – he probably just got back from some meeting or something – and her head fell down, because deaths of her grandfather and uncle hit her again. That's why he's wearing it now even if he never wanted to she thinks. Because they are gone so he has to. Then she felt Ander's fingers under her chin and now she's looking into his blue eyes. “I miss them too” he says and she smiles sadly, surprised at how well he knows her, almost like he's reading her mind, knowing exactly what she was thinking about just seconds ago.

“I promised Grandpa I will come back to him” she says, feeling her throat tightens. “And you did.” Ander replies as he puts a hand on her cheek and washes away some tears she didn't even realised had escaped. “He never doubted in you. Not even for a second.”

And now she feels like she can't breathe, she's crying openly, hidden in her uncle's protective hold. He's rocking her back and forth and after couple minutes that felt for her like eternity she's calm again and she can breathe again. “Get some sleep, Amberle” he says as he lays her back down on the bed a covers her with a blanket. She instantly grabs his hand. “Stay.”

“Of course I'm gonna stay.” he replies and then kisses her forehead. “I'm never gonna leave you, remember?”

An useperatable duo. Few years ago she had lost her father, but it's almost like she gained another one. Ander is her best friend, partner in crime, and like an older brother sometimes but he also knows how to step into a role of a father when he needs to. And that's what she loved about him the most.

“I love you, Uncle Ander.” she whispers, as she drifts into sleep. And just before she falls asleep completely she hears him say “I love you too, baby girl.”

I don’t own “The Shannara Chronicles”. I wish I could, so this one could end up on screen tho. xD And congrats to those who got all the way down here. Sorry it was so long.

[moodymindymusereactions]

When you’re feeling worthless and they try to cheer you up

I did alter this just a tad to keep it from becoming redundant.  I hope you don’t mind.  If you want me to rewrite it let me know!

Suho:

Junmyeon is a softie at heart, to be honest.  He’s such a gentle soul.  Seeing you so stressed over a project and just so frustrated with both your work and yourself makes him really sad.  He doesn’t want you to ever feel like you’re worthless.  That’s the absolute LAST thing he wants.  I see him as the type to make you get up and walk away from your project.  He’ll take you to lunch or for ice cream, then a peaceful walk through the shopping district.  He’ll distract you with cute plush toys and by making you try on literally everything that he deems cute.  By the time you both get back home, your shoulders are loose and the tension between your eyebrows is gone.  Instead, you feel a little more revitalized.  Junmyeon would kiss your temple and tell you not to stress so much.  “If you start feeling that way about yourself again, just remember to get up and walk away.  It’s better to clear your mind and come back refreshed than to sit there and beat yourself up.  I can’t have my jagi thinking so poorly of herself, okay?”

Xiumin:

Minseok strikes me as someone who powers through tough times, but in a calm manner.  So say you’ve been trying to write this stupid essay for the past few hours and there’s still nothing but a blinking cursor on the screen.  You’re super frustrated and you just want to throw your hands in the air and give up.  Minseok is probably going to bring you some water, rub your shoulders a bit, and tell you it’s okay.  If you start berating yourself by saying you’re stupid or something, Minseok is going to turn your chair around and firmly tell you to stop.  ‘Just breathe’ he’ll say.  When you’ve calmed down a bit, he’ll have you explain the essay to him.  He’ll walk you through it in such a way that by the time you two are done talking, you’ll probably have a good, general idea of what you want to say.  I can totally see him sitting beside you the whole time, too.  Like, he won’t leave until you’re finished.  “See, baby?  I told you it wasn’t impossible.  You just have to remember to breathe and organize your thoughts.  Besides, I’m always here if you need someone to bounce ideas off of.” (cue affectionate bop to your nose)

Lay: 

This guy knows what it's like to struggle through things.  He understands how difficult it can be at times to stumble and fail consistently and just generally feel like a failure.  But Yixing’s philosophy is to try, try again.  So if you just couldn’t get your feet to cooperate with your brain for the choreography you’re trying desperately to master, he’ll probably stop you and make you sit down for a breather.  ‘Hydrate, baobei’ he’d say, pushing a water bottle into your hands before reaching out to massage your calves lightly.  Once your breathing was under control again, he’d have you stand up and together you would both go through the choreo at a slow pace, section by section.  Gradually he’d speed things up, pausing only to adjust you here and there, until you are finally able to get through the movements with no mistakes.  “See!  It’s not so bad!  Don’t worry about not grasping things right away.  Sometimes we just need to take our time and learn things slowly before we can perfect them.  There’s nothing wrong with that.  As long as you put your heart into, everything will work out in the end.”

Baekhyun:

This one is known to be critical of himself.  He’ll understand your frustrations with your job.  I mean, you tried your absolute hardest to get that promotion.  You’ve been slaving over your work for months now trying to prove yourself, all so that in the end the big wigs on top could just hand over something you rightly deserved to some fresh faced newbie.  What was so wrong with your work product that you didn’t deserve that job title?  You’ve been there for so long, working so diligently, how did you not get it?  Was it not good enough?  Were YOU not good enough?  Was this their subtle way of telling you that you’d never advance forward?  Baekhyun would want to stop your train of thought before it got too far ahead, because none of this was true.  He knows you work hard and he knows all the pressure you place on yourself.  It honestly breaks his heart to see you ragging on yourself, so he does the only thing he can: he makes you laugh.  Only when you’re laying on the ground in stitches, little giggles falling from your lips, does he feel satisfied.  “Listen, jagiyah, there’s nothing wrong with you or you work.  They just felt that whoever that person was could do a better job.  It’s their loss for not choosing someone as dedicated as you.  There will be other opportunities, I promise.  Just don’t blame yourself for something that’s not really in your control, okay?”

Chen:

Jongdae is a beagle, but he’s the calmest of the beagles.  He’ll patiently listen to you fuss over how you can’t get this painting just right.  How you have no idea if you’ll ever be able to finish it and it’s the most simple painting you’ve ever done, so why is it so hard to pick up the brush and keep going?  It doesn’t matter what color you throw on it, it looks awful in your opinion.  Of course, this bub, doesn’t agree.  He thinks it looks amazing, but he understands as an artist how critical we can be of ourselves.  He’ll come up behind you and hug you tightly, resting his chin on your shoulder and swaying you back and forth.  He’ll give you suggestions like, maybe throw some yellow in there or maybe neon pink!  This will make you laugh and he’ll whine about how he was serious, but ultimately he’s just happy to see a smile on your face instead of the hardcore scowl you were just sporting.  “You know, we could just throw random paint colors at the canvas and make like a million bucks.  I mean if a picture with a single line can go for four million, then certainly our masterpiece will sell for more!  Or maybe you just need a new muse!  How about me?  Naked?”  (cue eyebrow wiggles and then the subsequent whines as you fling paint at him)

Chanyeol:

Talk about a puppy!  Chanyeol is going to be so sad if he comes home and sees you crying on the couch out of frustration.  You’ve been giving this semester your all, honest to god you have been.  Things just weren’t going your way.  The teachers sucked, the coursework was incredibly difficult, and your team mates shoved most of the major project work on your shoulders.  Midterms are coming up and you just can’t breathe right now.  This giant is going to drop all his things at the door and scoop you up to sit on his lap.  Whispered nothings fill your ears as well as the sound of his steady heartbeat.  He’ll ask you to tell him what’s wrong and then proceed to tell you everything will be fine.  You’re so smart and so much stronger than you think you are.  Eventually you’re going to look back at this semester and just smile because you know you got through it with your head held high.  He’ll tell you to stand up to your classmates and shove their work back on them firmly, too.  “Do you want me to write the email, babe?  I’ll do it?  Or do you want me to have an actual conversation with them?  Cuz I will!  I definitely will!  No one makes my baby cry!”  *he’ll be pouty if you tell him he’s really not that threatening* **be sure to give him a kiss, tho...you know as thanks**

D.O:

Kyungsoo is the silent observer.  He probably knows you better than you know yourself.  He’ll notice immediately if you’re overly stressed or beating yourself up over something.  Kyungsoo reminds me of the pillar types.  He doesn’t have to say much or really even do much to remind you he’s there.  He just is.  His very presence is a calming, soothing force.  You have deadlines coming up and your editor is on your ass about the new chapter, but no matter what  you do, your writer’s block just won’t go away.  You’ve been writing and re-writing the same page for days now.  You hate all your ideas.  Honestly, you feel like you’ve done everything you can (inclusive of offing characters just for something write about), but you’re stuck.  You HAVE to get this chapter out, but right now you just feel like the biggest failure.  Why did you even become an author to begin with?  Are you even that good?  Do people even really like your work?  How can they when you suck this much?  Kyungsoo is going to have absolutely none of that.  He’ll be a lot like Junmyeon, in the sense that he’s going to force you to get up and walk away from your work desk.  He’ll sit you down in the kitchen and make you a meal, being sure that you actually eat everything on your plate and maybe even a second helping.  This guy wants you to be as healthy as possible.  That’s what’s important.  Then he’ll probably sit you down and have you talk through your ideas.  The more you talk and the more you bounce ideas off him, the clearer your plot becomes.  You rediscover ideas you had completely forgotten.  “It’s okay to be stuck, jagi.  It happens to all of us.  When you feel stuck, instead of berating yourself, come talk to me.  We’ll figure it out together, okay?  Don’t be so hard on yourself.”

Kai:

This one is also pretty quiet, but just like Kyungsoo, he’s a pillar in your life.  You work with a bunch of kindergartners and lately, you’ve been having trouble with one child in particular.  He’s fussy, violent, and quick tempered.  You know he just needs attention and the proper guidance, but everything you try just seems to backfire.  On top of all that, you’ve been struggling with your lesson plans recently.  Overall you just feel less and less creative as your stress mounts.  Jongin will crawl into bed behind you and just wrap his arms around you, pulling on you slightly so you drape yourself over him.  He’ll run his fingers through your hair and rub away the tension in the base of your skull and neck.  He would quietly ask you to explain what’s happening, so you would, ending with how you feel like a failure for 1. Not being able to help the little boy and 2. For not being able to improve at your job.  He’d tut quietly and tell you, you worry too much, insisting that there wasn’t anyone in the world better than you at your job.  Jongin would reassure you that if you just keep reaching out to the child, he would eventually fall for you the same way Jongin did.  He would insist that you take a nap with him, promising that once the two of you were up again he’d help you with your lesson planning and even give some advice for the trouble child.  “It’s very hard to resist you and your charms, jagi.  You’ll see.  Just give it time.” (insert gentle kiss to the forehead)

(you are D.O.)

Sehun:

He’s a tricky one, honestly.  Sehun is both super sassy and a super sweetheart.  If you were getting frustrated with yourself because of a certain recipe you couldn’t get right, he’d probably tease you for it.  He doesn’t like to hear you talking bad about yourself (he might even lightheartedly say that’s his job), so he’ll scoff and tell you to knock it off.  No one talks bad about his jagi, not even you.  He’ll insist that you make the dish over and over again until you get it.  This is his technique and it’s always proven to work in the end.  Of course, that means there’s going to be a lot of leftovers, but he tells you not to worry about it, because he’s a guy and he has eight other grown men that will eat it up.  Free is free is free, tbh.  You never know, this could become a permanent thing that happens.  He’s going to want to try all your new recipes, even if they’re bad (though he’ll tell you straight up if they are).  Sehun strikes me as someone who is not afraid of constructive criticism, nor is he afraid of giving it.  This is a good thing.  His honesty will help you grow as a baker/cook.  That and he’ll always be super pleased when you perfect your craft each time.  “Did [y/n] make any more food?”  “What makes you think you’re worthy enough to enjoy it?” (insert classic eyebrow raise and judging face)

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