#i like this little thing with the face tho. guidance lines in place of an actual face my beloved
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LET ME OUTâ
#art#my art#artists on tumblr#digital art#oc#tw caps#eyestrain#henlo :3#here's character design i've never shown + barely tweaked lol#/trying to work on movement and the look of force so !! hope it's doing that hfbhsf#//original name for this was 'I'M FUNKIN TIRED' but i ended up not doing what i was gonna do for the face so Lolll#i Would have but the image in my head wouldn't hold still long enough#i like this little thing with the face tho. guidance lines in place of an actual face my beloved#no face at all my dearest dear <333#//okey now i'm going to scuttle off!! watch me#[slinkies away]
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what a feeling
johnny x fem!reader | badboy!au, too much fluff | 2.4k words
warnings: mentions of nicotine addition, alcohol
based off of this moodboard and au idea created by @neo-cult-ure!! thank you luv for allowing me to play around with this au idea! I originally wrote this bc i loved the idea and just wanted to self indulge in some writing a few nights ago. I probably couldâve fleshed this out more, but iâm in the middle of exams so i probably shouldnât even be writing fic rn haha (fair warning tho there is so much fluff help) hope u enjoy!!
~~~
âI need your help.â
Haechan looks up to see an unexpected face peering over him. It wasnât every day that resident bad boy Johnny Suh was asking a drama student for something. While the two of them ran around in slightly similar circles due to their mutual acquaintances, Haechan canât remember the last time he spoke one-on-one with Johnny.
âWhat do you need my help with?â he asks curiously, as he shuts his locker.Â
âThereâs this girl.â Johnny says, rubbing a hand on the back of his neck, âSheâs different, Haechan, I need your help.âÂ
Johnny has always been the most confident person Haechan knows. He always admired him for that, but now it appears that the tall boy has a rosy tiny covering his cheeks, along with a sheepish smile.Â
âMy help? I canât imagine being much help compared to Jaehyun⊠isnât he your wing man?â Haechan responds.
He begins walking away, heading for his next class. He didnât hate Johnny, nothing even close to that, but he was a bit suspicious of why he was coming to a self-proclaimed nerdy, drama student for help.Â
âThis is differentâŠâ Johnny mumbles as he catches up with Haechan, âDo you know that diner a few blocks from here? The Neo Zone?âÂ
Haechan looks over at him, âThat neon, throwback place? Yeah, the theater kids go there after practice sometimes.â
âThereâs a waitress there.â The older boy says, âSheâs pretty, her laugh is like a song, Haechan, sheâs perfect.â
âThe problem, then?â Haechan asks. Johnny didnât seem like the kind of person to have trouble with the ladies.
âShe wants nothing to do with me.â
Haechan canât help the laugh he lets out, âDid your usual flirting not work out for you?â
Johnny wasnât a terrible guy, in fact, he could be very respectful (despite the cheesy pick-up lines sometimes), with a nice sense of humor and friendly smile to go along with it. But he had some bad habits. He refused to buy a helmet for his precious motorcycle. He smoked more than he should. He wasnât always present during school hours. But underneath the leather jacket and torn up jeans, the boy wasnât all that bad. He loved to flirt and fool around, but he never took things farther than someone wanted.
Johnny frowns at Haechanâs laughter, âI was hoping you could help me. Sheâs interested in 80s films, and I know youâre into stuff like that. You have a huge collection, donât you? Could I borrow The Breakfast Club? Sixteen Candles?â
âYeah, I can lend you some of them this weekend.â Haechan stops in front of the door to his next class, turning around to look back at Johnny, whoâs grinning with appreciation.
âBut Johnny?â
âYeah?â
âItâs gonna take more than just flirting and watching her favorite movies. You gotta get to know her.âÂ
Johnny throws him a classic smirk, his confidence returning to his face, âWill do, Haechan.â
~~~
âHey, Y/N!â
You turn around without Johnny seeing the roll of your eyes. After his shameless flirting last weekend you knew he would probably be back.Â
His flirting wasnât creepy; it was actually a little bit flattering. You couldnât count on your hand the number of men that had spoken their fair share of sleezy comments to you. Johnnyâs flirting was refreshing (but maybe that was just because he seemed to be your age instead of thirty years your senior). He asked about your favorite movies when you had mentioned liking 80s films. He complimented the sneakers you painted yourself.Â
But alas, he was also a walking stereotype, with the leather jackets and motorcycle parked just out front. When you waited on his table last time, you nearly coughed over the smell of nicotine that followed him around.
âHi, Johnny,â you say, leading him to a booth in the corner, laying out the menu on the table.
âI watched some of the movies you told me about,â he says, smiling brightly at you, âGot any more recommendations?â
You canât help but feel a bit flustered at the fact that he watched some of the stuff you recommended. He was paying you a lot more attention than you had previously thought.Â
While you take his order and bring out his food, Johnny flirts and makes jokes. You canât help but smile at some of the things he says, despite yourself. By the end of his meal, you bring out his receipt, showing him the list of movies you wrote on the back in black pen.Â
âThanks! Maybe I could take you out and we could talk about them sometime?â he asks, a hopeful gleam in his eye.Â
You roll your eyes at him, âYouâre gonna have to do more than just watch my favorite movies for me to change my mind about you.âÂ
âAm I really that bad?â
âYou arenât bad, Johnny. I just feel like I deserve more than just someone who smokes and rides a motorcycle without protection.â You say, walking off to ring up his order and get his change.Â
He huffs as you walk off. What was he to do?Â
~~~
âThis is stupid,â Johnny thinks to himself as he pulls up to the diner, a week and a half later. He was driving Haechanâs car, but that wasnât the only thing he had borrowed.
When Johnny had reconvened with the boy, Haechan told him he needed to change up his act in order to impress you.Â
And somehow this is how Johnny ended up walking into the diner with a dorky sweater and his hair neatly combed on a Friday evening. The neon sign of the diner glowed into the car, casting shadows on the funny pattern of the sweater.
He felt so stupid, but he was also kind of desperate. It was Haechan that had come up with the plan after suggesting he dress a bit nicer.Â
âI donât know if I have any âniceâ clothes, Haechan,â Johnny had told the other boy.
âThen you can borrow some of mine!â Haechan looked up at how tall his friend was, âOr maybe my brotherâsâŠâ
Johnny knows he went overboard but he also really wants to see your smile again. He supposes itâs worth it.Â
âWelcome in,â you say, but as you turn around, you pause, â...Johnny?âÂ
He smiles, reminding himself that he can be confident without the bad boy clothes and aesthetic. âDoes your shift end soon? Could I take you out for ice cream?â
Somehow you canât help but find the outfit change endearing, so you find yourself nodding. The boy was clearly trying to impress you, so you should at least give him a chance. And ice cream sounded excellent after a long shift. It couldnât be all that bad, could it?
~~~
It ended up being quite nice, actually.Â
Johnny took you to an ice cream shop on the edge of town, leading you to a picnic bench after getting two cones of ice cream. As the sun fully slipped away and the stars started to come out along the purple sky, you both discussed movies, the future, your favorite foods, everything.
He was a good listener, holding eye contact and asking questions, full of attention. He told lovely stories when he wanted to, as well. You couldnât help but find yourself to be a bit drawn to him when you finally gave him the time of day. His humor, his soft smiles, his contagious laugh. It was clear to see it would be easy to fall for someone like him.
It was hard though, knowing the reputation he held. He did risky things, a cigarette in one hand, his motorcycle keys in the other. From his stories, you knew he cut class. He never wore a helmet, either.
Just because he wore a nice sweater and borrowed a friendâs car didnât change these things.
âI hope we can do this again, sometime.âÂ
Johnny lightly holds your hand as he stands outside of your front door while dropping you off.
You looked up at him, his face soft under your front porch light. There was so much hope in his eyes, hope for the idea that you would give him more of your time, more of your smiles.
âOh, Johnny,â you say, slowly, âThis is really sweet, but this isnât you.â
He looks confused for a moment, protesting, âOf course, this is me. I just cleaned up my act, like you said.â
You frown, âSure, I did say that, but you changed all the outside pieces of yourself.â
âIsnât that what you wanted?â he asks.
âWhat? Johnny, no, of course not!â you exclaim, âI donât care if you have this âbad boyâ act, and drink, and ride motorcycles. I just hate that you are so careless with yourself. You smelled like smoke every time I saw you. You never wear a helmet. You refuse to go to class sometimes. It hurts me seeing someone so bright, someone Iâm enjoying getting to know, do nothing but hurt themselves.âÂ
You squeeze his hand, hoping to offer some form of comfort while you speak your truths. âJust cause you changed your clothes doesnât mean you are changed for the better.â
âWhat are you saying?â
âI like you, Johnny. You.â you say, taking his hand in yours, âNot this dressed up, masked version of you. I just want you to care about yourself. So I can care about you, too.âÂ
Things are quiet for a moment, as Johnny stares at the ground. Finally, he looks up at you, an unknown flicker in his eyes.Â
You let go of his hand, âYou have some stuff to work through. Youâre sweet, Johnny, and Iâm happy that weâve gotten to know each other. Please call me when you figure things out.â
You go inside, leaving him frozen in place.Â
~~~
âHas Johnny come in lately?âÂ
You are startled out of wiping down tables at the diner when you hear someone speak to you. You look up to see a honey-haired boy, who you recognize as Haechan, one of the drama club kids from school.Â
âYou know him?â you ask, your eyes narrowed.
âYeah,â Haechan rubs the back of his neck, âWeâve become friends recently. He told me he liked you. Asked to borrow some movies and stuff.âÂ
Realization dawns on you that Johnny had probably gone to Haechan to get some guidance. The thought makes your heart squeeze. Youâd been curious about where Johnny was getting the knowledge from. You recall Haechan being in the after school film club as well.Â
âHe stopped coming in a while ago,â you say, âI gave him my number after we went out once, but I didnât hear from him.â
You try to keep the feeling of sadness from washing over you, but youâre surprised at how affected you are by Johnnyâs absence in the past few weeks. While his flirting could be a bit relentless sometimes, there was no doubt that he respected you through all of his charming antics.
âHm..â Haechan seems to be deep in thought at your words.Â
You ask him if he wants to order anything, but he declines, thanking you for the offer before leaving nearly as soon as he had entered.Â
~~~
âHey.â
You look up on your way out of the diner after your shift, startled by a voice. Johnny stands in the parking lot, next to his motorcycle, a soft smile across his face. He has his leather jacket back on, but surprisingly, you notice he has a helmet tucked under his arm, too.
âWhat are you doing here?â you ask, walking up to him, âYou havenât come in for a while.â
âThought Iâd come stop by,â he grins. âI heard you missed me.â
You look down shyly at the pavement, âI never said that⊠but yeah, I guess.â
It was a surprising feeling as you confessed that small truth to Johnny. It was boring around the diner without his conversations and flirting words. It felt nice to let those words out.
Johnny leans behind him, grabbing another, smaller helmet, âWanna take a ride? I wanna take you out for another date. I even bought you a helmet. Hope youâre not scared to go a little fast.âÂ
You nod, unable to keep the smile off of your face. It was nice hearing Johnnyâs bluntness again. He seemed more relaxed, more comfortable with himself.
You run over to your car quickly, shoving your bag into the backseat before walking back over to Johnny. You climb on to the bike behind him, feeling him place the extra helmet on your head. While he adjusts it, his fingers brush across your face, sending chills down your spine.Â
Once heâs back in position, you boldly wrap your arms around his torso, letting your head rest across his jacket. You take a deep breath, expecting to smell the nicotine that follows him around, but his leather jacket smells fresh.
âDid you quit smoking?â you ask, as he turns on the motorcycle.
âYeah, I quit after our date,â he explains, âI was kinda unbearable for a while there⊠That's why I didnât come into the diner. After a while, I figured you woulda forgot about me.â
You let out a laugh as he pulls out of the parking lot, âHow could I ever?âÂ
You both ride along in silence, aside from your nervous laughs as the motorcycle speeds through traffic. You notice the elevation getting higher as he rides outside of the city.
Finally, he pulls off next to a scenic outlook overlooking the metropolis. The sun is starting to set, casting shadows along the buildings, along Johnnyâs face. You canât tell which you find more beautiful.
âI want to thank you.â he says, wrapping an arm around your waist to pull you to look at him.Â
âFor what?âÂ
âFor caring about me. I didnât even care about me.â he tucks a strand of your hair behind your ear, cupping your cheek.
You smile up at him, his soft words making you bold. You lean in, kissing his lips in response. After you pull back, Johnny wraps his arms around you, pulling you into the warmest hug of your life.Â
It seemed simple, really. As the sun set with an orange glow, marking the end of a day, it also marked a new beginning. It left you both with a warm feeling. And what a feeling it was.
#nct-writers#neothestars#neo-constellations#johnny x reader#johnny x you#nct x reader#nct x you#johnny scenarios#badboy au#johnny#nct#johnny suh#my writing
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Review episode 312
Itâs weird because I enjoyed the episode but most of my comments are actually criticism so bare with me đ
Overall it was a nice episode to watch. The acting was on point especially for Sarah and Poppy imo they carried this episode but also probably cause theyâre the one with the most compelling stories on this one. The episode kinda felt like a filler but honestly thatâs because the show is focusing too much on the allergy and we know thatâs not gonna be fixed til the end so as long as they make that the main story of the sisters, most episodes are gonna feel like fillers when it comes to them. Macy and Maggie had their own little adventure with a ghost which was funny (again kudo to Sarah), Harry and Mel went on a quest for a soul tho we still have no clue what it actually meant and Abigael was going through her own little traumatic hell in the tomb (Poppy really has been particularly slaying this storyline acting wise ).
Screen time
Abigael: 6m11s
Macy: 17m24s
Mel: 11m15s
Maggie: 18m24s
Harry: 11m03s
What I liked
Maggie still got the internship and Iâm glad back she deserved it. I really donât dislike Antonio but Iâm also glad they kinda made it clear she wasnât interested and that she finally made progress with her feelings for Jordan.
Abigael. I liked it because it gave us more insight on Abigaelâs past (tho I still think they should have given us this earlier). I always theorised that from her childhood, she was obviously scared from the fact her mom never really accepted her demon side which created her deep feeling of rejection and how she was never accepted and never belonged. But I also thought she had some kind of loving family. Like to me these two things were not necessarily contradictory. Well apparently not. Her mom straight out abused her during her childhood. Which definitely explain why she choose the demon side like that. Both her parents were terrible to them but as she said in the past, at least she can understand demon a little but. She can rationalise it base on their nature. When it came from her mom however, it came fully from a place of dislike which must have been very harmful on a child. So obviously when I say I like it I donât mean I like what her mom did to her, but I really like the insight and explanation. And again, Poppy did an amazing job. She made Abigael feel so vulnerable and scared, and confirmed that, ultimately what Abigael always wanted was acceptance. Which she first needs to give to herself.
Marisol and Macy sharing a scene. I have my issues with how it went which Iâll come to later. But Iâm glad it existed and Mads really showed great emotions.
That was a short list because if I did enjoy the episode and there was some highlights Iâll talk about later, I also canât really pintpoint things I loved.
What I disliked
Harryâs story. I just really donât like how they make it all about the relationship when it could be so much deeper than that. I also am not sure I like the length to which heâs ready to go for it. Like the entire soul donation is a bit weird to me.
Marisol and Macy. Listen that one made me angry. Maybe it wouldnât have if Macy actually had other stuff going on than her relationship with Harry but with the way the show has been writing her mostly around her relationship with Harry, it really didnât come across well to me. The fact we had for the first time a in present tense scene between Macy and Marisol and all they talked about a man has me fuming. Maybe if they had had a longer time to talk. But they had like two minutes and most of it was about men.
The sisters. I donât like the fact Mel wasnât there when they were going to connect with their mom. I feel like that should have been a story kept for all three of them. Iâm also annoyed that they once again refused to give us some Mel and Macy. I would have liked to see them a bit. Once again that sisterly bond feels like itâs non existent.
Melby. I cannot believe anyone would actually look at them and think yes thatâs good. The treatment is absolutely terrible. The buildup was bad - because it was supposed to last - and the fact itâs all off screen is absolutely terrible. Ruby has been in three episode this season. One of them she didnât actually share a scene with Ruby. The second episode they were full of drama and jealousy and they were so easily breaking up. And suddenly we jump to the I love yous. And were supposed to find that cute ? Like what are we supposed to think they love about each other? The constant breaking ups ? Cause thatâs the most consistent thing about them. It kinda feels cheap in the way itâs done ngl.
What doesnât make sense
Why was Jordan in the description ? I feel theyâre kinda trying to avoid putting Abiâs name in the summaries (or at least it feels like it) but like .... Jordan had not reason to even be talked about. He didnât appear once. It should have been Abiâs name in there.
The pills falling from the pocket Like ... Harry you had literally one job. How exactly did they fall ??
Why did they seem lost until their realised Jordy was a descendant and they could use his soul. Did I miss something saying it needed to be a male descendant ? Cause like ... Gil (Jil ? Idk) was literally right there. (Nevermind apparently I missed them saying « male descendent » my bad dkdjd
How did abi know she was in the tomb. Like I know my girl is smart but like ... she has basically no contact with the sisters at this point so how on earth did she learn how the tomb works and what happens inside ??
Highlights
The hammer. Listen, donât ask me why but this picture of abi has been sending me for weeks now and Iâve been wondering the context since Iâve seen it. Like it gives me the biggest dumb bitch energy ever. The fact that abi is a very smart person and just thought a hammer would get her out of the tomb just has me laughing like itâs just too funny to me đ
âThe British hot ladyâ Swan I understand You
The way Maggie calls for Abi and gets into her apartment. I donât know why I just love it.
Macy trying to lie to Antonio. Macyâs face when she lies is always a delight.
No but do any of these older generations know what not having an affair even mean? But I mean like father like son I guess.
« Who footnotes a spell » Macyâs face was so funny đ she was so done with it.
Theories
Not gonna lie. Iâm a bit scare about next episode. I think it might be really interesting but also Iâm very scare of the execution especially when it comes to Abigael and Macy. I do believe Macy has valid to distrust Abigael. However the show has been terrible at portraying those. And ultimately, especially lately, the sisters and Abigael have barely crossed paths. Theyâre barely in each otherâs lives. All the do is coexist in the same city and interact when demons are involved which isnât really the case. So right now all abi is doing is keeping the demons in lines. So Iâm scared that Macyâs rightful dislike and distrust is almost gonna come across as pettiness or jealousy. But I also think that there is a difference between not trusting Abigael and say she deserves to be in the tomb. Cause at the end of the day past episode 4 what has she really done so terrible that deserves eternal suffering/delusion or whatever the tomb actually does. Sheâs manipulative and self serving sure but she also helps more than anything. The sisters have actually nothing to win have having Abigael stuck in there. And more to lose.
One theory is that the perfecti are trying to isolate the sisters. Putting abi and Jordan in the tomb is separating them from their allies and helping Harry to lose his powers is taking their guidance/healer away from them.
Another is just that really just have a very strict black and white vision and Abigael being a demon and Jordan helping them makes them automatically in the black category. Which the title seems to be referring to so itâs probably this.
I think the upcoming episode might be a way to introduce the whole controversy around Macyâs demon powers. And slowly bringing up the story of Abigael giving them back to her.
I think it also might be a way to actually have the show approach the wrongs Abigael did in the show. But also the rights. After all, it seems like theyâll need to prove she doesnât deserve to be in it. Which I personally donât think she does. Though she definitely did wrong things in her life. So I think they might actually use this as an occasion to have the sisters talk about what she did do that was wrong. And hopefully also highlight that she did help them on multiple occasions.
With the âpreviously in charmedâ it makes it feel like theyâre still going with Maggie not knowing Jordan can actually touch her and this doesnât stop confusing me. But I can see the show have them hug once heâs out of the tomb and then kinda admit their feelings finally and Jordan say something in the lines that he kept it from her because he didnât want to put pressure on her or that him being able to touch her didnât change the fact she wanted to focus on herself or something on those lines.
One thing I want to talk about is Abigael. Please donât read this paragraph if you havenât heard about the rumours going around. //// The fact is, there is a very strong change Poppy is leaving the show. And the way they made this episode made it very clear Abigael was abused as a child. But that she is also absolutely craving love and acceptance. And that she does love her mom and always wanted her love. Iâm very scared that if they make Abigael leave (better than die) theyâd make her go back to her sister and family and try to fix their relationship. Which would absolutely be terrible message to give as we literally know now that she was abused. And making a character go back to their abusers because of the trauma it caused (her fear of rejection and inability to actually accept herself) would just be disgusting. But Iâm scared thatâs the road theyâre gonna take.
#charmed#charmed cw#charmed reboot#charmed 2018#charmed review#abigael caine#mel vera#maggie vera#macy vaughn#harry greenwood#jordan chase
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Undercooked Popcorn
Masterlist
You and Konner have a mini training session in the barn and get in trouble with Clark.
Warnings: fluff, Swearing,
A/n: Here is a small fluff piece I have been working on enjoy XX
Taglist: @iloveyouyenâ
After the initial move to Mrs Kent's house they had given you a week to settle in before getting stuck in to your school work. Not only you but konner as well letting you both bond which you had, the both of you had become close...konner had opened up quicker than you had, already secure about his place in the family you on the other hand was less sure. You had a trouble with it you wanted to believe that you was here permanently , that this was it where you belonged but you couldnt help holdingnyour breath still waiting for something to happen. Currently you and konner was in the old barn, you'd both unconsciously decided that it was your hang out, the place you go to escape the adults and get to know one another without the eagle eyes of the others. Somewhere to get away from an overbearing Clark who seemed to take the term mother hen to a whole new level, it wasnt necessarily bad but it was hard for you to go from no one gives a shit to holy shit this guy is consistently fussing over you. You knew he was trying to be inclusive and trying to solidify your place in the family reassuring you, wanting to show you he cared. Which was good youll admit you liked the attention in a way, you'd not had this type of parental guidance for a long long time but you'd didn't realoze how suffocating it was. You also suspected that your injuries had something to do with it aswell, you couldn't exactly fault him for it.
So here you were hiding out in the barn with konner as Clark flitted about the place doing odd chores here and there .Martha had gone out to work and would be home after the lunch rush at work. You rolled across the blanket that covered the hay pile your lime green cast glowing in the noon sun you winced as the light reflected off of it and shuffled moving it into a shadowed area. Currently you and konner were shareing details about your abilities, something the both of you had avoided and danced around until you got more comfortable with each other.
"Soo you don't make things? You just stretch'em" you nodded at him as he sat above you cross legged on one of the wooden cross beams that spanned the large space.
"Yeah pretty much..I can't touch living things tho, no plants or animals or people" you said glancing at your arm sighing it would have been nice to just fix it but no you had to wait it out.
"That sucks..." you nodded mournfully but then tilted your head back to get a better look at him.
"So what about you? Your an ET wannabe right?" He laughed flipping you the bird"Fuck you" you giggled as he shook his head jumping down from the beam landing just before you.
"Kryptonian is the politically correct term I think....Well hybrid... I'm half Clarks and... Half human" he said dusting off a little to sit on the hay across from you. You noticed the hesitation and the way he swerved around his own comments. Deciding to leave it be you opted to ignore it, much to Konners relief.
"So can you do all the stuff he can?" Konner smiled and shrugged
"You mean dad? Yeah sort of, I can do most...We are still waiting to see if we're exactly alike but I've got the strength speed and flight....I can do the lazer thing to which is cool but I havent found a practical use for it yet...Or a way to practice that shit is hot." You hummed at him then looked out of the open barn doors to the corn field.
"Corn?" He tilted his head following your gaze confused
"What?" You smiled at him Sitting up letting your arms fall into your lap
"Pop some corn...I mean theres a field right there...." he looked at the rows of corn catiously.
"Popcorn...You want me to use my laser eyes to...Get you a snack? How is that gojng to help me?" You rolled your eyes at him grunting."Oh for fuck sake...get unpopped popcorn and I will throw them in the air and you pop'em with your melty eyes.... you know target practice...And if IÂ happen to catch some with my mouth its a bonus!" He sat up a little it wasn't a bad idea but Clark wouldn't like it.He doesnt like him practicing without him here.
"What about dad? Won't he be pissed?" You laughed and shook your head.
"Not really not like anyone can see us out hear and Clark did say we can practice around the place" Konner's grin fell he was worried that you hadn't really...Adapted? well you had...But you wont refer to the others as Dad and Grandma. As far as he was concered you were his sister already but he just really wanted you to know it was okay...That you really did have a family now. His dad and Grandma had told him not to push but he got the feeling you wanted to...Somethjng was holding you back.
"..You do know he is technically your dad now to right... You can call him dad and you can call Grandma, Grandma they wont be mad....I think they would like that." you sighed looking down, you knew that but it just... You didn't know, was it disrespectful to your real parents? You'd only been here a week? Surely it was to early...Even if it felt right, natural. He waved a hand at you
"You dont have to...I just didn't want you not to.. you know..Incase you thought they didn't want you to thats all, don't want you to have stupid thoughts like that holding you back" you blinked at him smiling sadly
"I-I do but...I still dont think I will be here long...I'm gonna slip up, if I ever accidentally hurt Martha I'm gone" he frowned at you
"No...If that happens; which I don't think it will, but if it does then we deal with it togethet...you wont get very far if you do run...Me and dad will bring you back home and we talk things out .Thats what family is, we stay together and help each other, your my little sister, the first person my age I don't have to worry about hurting so much. I can relax more around you because you can protect yourself if thing get to much, you think im gonna let you leave over an accident? Fuck no like Dad keeps saying your here now, your a kent and your stuck with us...I hope you see that sooner rather then later it can't be nice always being ready to run" your lip quivered eyes filling with tears as he explained this, the conviction in his voice how he spoke with absolute certainty. Unwilling to cry in front of him you simply nodded to him. Getting the message he patted your arm then disappeared for what seemed like seconds with a small bag of unpopped corn cernals.
"Show off"Â you sniffed moving to wipe your eyes only to hiss when you cracked yourself on the head with your cast you whined rubbing to sore spot and froze when Konner held out some tissues to you
"I grabbed them inside" you smiled at him meekly. He gave you a soft look, he hated seeing you struggle but he had said what needed to be said, said what he had needed to hear when it was him all those years ago. Quickly he changed his expression and smirked tossing you the bag of popcorn cernals you opened them swiftly still fighting a few tears back then looked around deciding on the safest area to throw them.
"So... Just to clarify if this falls down you will save me right?" he smiled nodding"Of course I will, you will be out of here before it even started falling down" you nodded then took two cernals in hand.
"so one or two?" he smiled and held up a finger. One. you threw it up and shreiked as he tried to ignite it missing ...well you only noticed he missed when you heard the little tap of it hitting the floor you both laughed seeing two tiny holes in the side of the barn. You grabbed another and threw it up he missed again, but he ws closer than before.This carried on for another few minutes with you oth getting excited as he got closer just skimming one, the heat from his vision making it partially pop.
"Oh no that one dont count you didnt hit the fuckjng thing!" He argued
"It popped tho!"Â You blinked at him.
"Okay half a point ready to go again?" He fist pumped then nodded readying himslef to go agajn.Finally thirty six cernals later he got it. You both jumped up.
"FUCK YEAH WOO!" You quickly moved to the popped popcorn on the floor dusting it off then ate it, you held up your hands to him chewing slowly as if you was a food critic then shook our head.
"Yep no under cooked"Â you both stared then burst out into hysterics crying with laughter.
"Lets try two this time!" You nodded moving to the bag pulling two more cernals out of the bag when you turned back round you froze. Shit.
"Why are there singe holes all over this barn?" Konner jumped turning around faceing an unamused Clark, who stood frowning at the both of you with his arms crossed. You and konner shared a look then peered around the barn...There was lots of them.. Some were just peep holes others longer and had charred lines around them. In all the fun youd both forgot where you were, and the barn now looked like it had taken a spray of bullets from a firing squad.
"Well? Konner? Y/n?" You cleared your throat and smoved to stand beside Konner
"Konner was...practicing, training" Clark raised an eyebrow shifti g his weight to one foot.
"Hmm? what exactly? See how he could burn the barn down without setting it on fire?" You both winced at his tone...He really wasnt impressed.
"You know this barn is older then me? It survived me growing up playing in it, yet an afternoon with the both of you and it looks about ready to keel over?....What were you both doing?" You moved to open your mouth but Clark stopped you holding up a hand.
"And if you try to get smart with me and say training again your going to be grounded for much longer then you already are young lady!" You flinched back. Wow. He had never spoke to you like that...Well not since you met him, he was always so laid back and fun, the type of adult you listened to because they were so chill but who knew he could switch over to no nonsense stern dad so effortlessly... You wavered uncertain how to approach him like this, it had been a while since youd cared about an adults opinion of you and you really didn't want Clark to hate you turning you looked to konner for help.
"Well...we were seeing how accurate my aim was...So y/n was throwing popcorn cernals and I was trying to pop them....I did miss a few times." Clark blinked then scanned the barn. He sighed shaking his head at his son exasperated.
"Konner... We've spoke about this I will take you to the fortress to train, but not here you could hurt yourself!" Clark stopped his scolding when he saw you take a large step infront of konner
"It was my fault I wanted to see so I came up with the idea...He was just trying to cheer me up." You stood firm shaking a little, you didn't like Clark raising his voice, he didn't shout but it was enough to make you nervous of him. He fixed you with a look making you cower from him slightly then sighed shaking his head, he didn't want you to be scared of him.
"Thank you y/n. But even if it was your idea he still knows how I feel about it I'm disappointed in both of you. Your both grounded for the rest of the week, this was very reckless and I don't want to catch either of you doing this again are we clear?" You both nodded to him solonmly resigning yourself to a few days being stuck indoors. He sighed then smiled a little to tell you the truh he was happy in a way, you'd become close and were up to mischief, which was good? You could both be a little reckless and act your age. You both had someone to let loose with. But he couldn't help worrying over the two of you. Had you got to carried away the barn could have collapsed, yes konner would have most likely got you both out but you were already hurt, already vulnerable and fragile. He really didn't want to risk anything. Luckily it hadn't come to that and the damage to the barm wasn't that bad... A few new boards and a new cross beam at the top, regular humans would need to dismantle the roof to sort it out but him and konner could have it done in an afternoon, he would also have you help as he had no doubt that you'd encouraged your brother. He smiled chuckling catching the two teens by surprise.
"Popcorn...I mean it was obvious right?..Wish I'd thought of that one...Any way lets start sorting this out befor Ma gets home shouldn't take to long not like the time I-" he caught him slef noticing the looks he was getting.
"What did you do to the barn?" You asked breaking the silence as konner waited both eager to hear what Clark had gotten up to when he was little. He cleared his throat
"Never you mind, now come on get to it, start picking up all that corn the we can see about plugging some of those holes" you shared a look with konner moving slowly collecting the corn as Clark moved to the back of the barn inspecting the damage.
"What do you think he did?" Konner shrugged
"Not sure apparently according to Grandma he was a little goody two shoes so... it couldn't have been that bad"
"Im gonna ask her when she gets back" konner froze and shook his head.
"No dont! Do not do that! We don't wana be in trouble with Grandma ever, dads a piece of piss to deal with but Grandma? She is a different beast altogether...To clever with punishments I mean she perfected her methods on him... She knows what shes doing" you blinked at him.
"We? You mean you I wont get in to much trouble...I mean evidence points to you, your the one with laser eyes." You smirked impishly at him as he looked shocked.
"You'd throw me under the bus? Just like that?" You nodded
"To avoid Martha's wrath abso-fucking-lutly sorry dude but Im not getting sucked into that shit show...Actually....Dont worry I got this she will never know." Befor Either on them could ask you'd closed your eyes then opened. Konner took a step back as they glowed bright. And sure enough the small holed were closeing, you coiled the fibres of the wood around in tight circles until the holes were all coveres feeljng aroh d the planks looking for them all. Konner gasped watching the way you manipulated the planks hearing a slight tiny creaking of the wood as it bended around itself. You moved to the side looking at the damaged beam quickly knitting it back together filling in the two deep burns that ran across it. Slowly you looked back down to the other two and smiled.
"All done...The beam should hold I made the grain tighter where it was." Clark smiled as he made his way towards you patting your shoulder and giving a sweet kiss to your hair.
"Thank you y/n now I think we shouldall head inside dont you?" You stuttered as he continued past you and Konner. Who was gaping at you.
"That was so fucking awsome! You made that look so easy...Is it? Whats else can you dowith it? And your eyes shit! Even I was scared for a second..." you flushed fidgeting going all bashfull.
"Oh haha sorry for scaring you...And that was easythey were tiny holes to plug." You moved slowly following Konner and Clark to the house.
"You still gonna ask Grandma about what he did?" You nodded at him laughing.
"You bet! I wana hear about all the dumb shit he did" he smiled at you as you both made it to the kitchen. Clark had entered and was already sitting down at the table with a drink.
"Your both still grounded by the way" you pouted at him
"No fair I fixed it!" He rose a brow at you
"It wasn't about the damage, I want you both to be carefull, you were reckless and both put yourselves at risk unnecessarily so rest of the week. No phones, games or tv. No leaving the farm and you can help your Grandma and me with the chores..." you sighed and looked to konner defeated he only shrugged in responseas if to say 'nothing you can you do' you slumped down into the chair pouring yourself a glass of juice from the pitcher Konner following suit grumbling to yourselves Clark shook his head getting up placing his glass in the sink. Teenagers.
#superman imagine#superman x teen reader#superman x reader#superman x you#superman x y/n#konner kent x sister reader#clark kent imagine#clark kent x teen reader#justice league x teen reader#justice league x reader
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OKAY SO TODAY-
Iâm going to ramble about chess symbolism - specifically with the Savanaclaw trio but also a couple of other characters (mostly pomefiore characters in detail but I list some others out aswell) I made the mistake of mentioning it on twitter and it got attention so now Iâm posting it here because itâs way too long to post in a twitter thread.
Itâs also going under readmore for that reason too:
For those unaware, the black and white on the chessboard have a meaning as well. Not so much âgoodâ and âevilâ, though thatâs one interpretation - White is normally associated with good and Black with evil. And thatâs a valid conclusion! But another symbolism having to do with the board is the war between the inner and outer self. Between Ego and Values. Pretty much the chessboard can represent any kind of eternal struggle. A struggle that continues and doesnât particularly have an âendingâ as chess is a game that can be played more than once, the struggle will always come back eventually.
Relating this to Night Raven in general- of course the struggle with overblot can be related to chess as well. Because itâs a constant struggle, one that most arenât even aware of as thereâs clearly ways to prevent it (resting, de-stressing, etc), but still a constant problem people of this world have to face.
Now moving onto the characters I want to speak about. Starting with Ruggie cause heâs my favorite.
Ruggie: The Bishop
The Bishop traditionally represents the church and religion, and in Medieval Europe the bishop was second in line to the king and queen. Now going back to how the chessboard could represent an internal struggle - the bishop can also represent a belief structure of some kind. The morals, the thought process. This is said to be why the bishop starts and stays on the same colored square (white for white and black for black), moving diagonally but never cross over another color. They move as far as they want, under the limits of their âbeliefâ. They must rely on others to protect them or stay out of anything that could threaten them on the board.
NOW WILL SMITH ARMS TO ALL OF THAT ????
Ruggie doesnât have âgoodâ morals. He only thinks about survival of the fittest, he believes that a strategy that you can win is worth it no matter the methods, he doesnât pick fights he canât win â
BUT his morals and methods align with Leonaâs, whoâs objectively the âkingâ in this situation. He stands next to the âkingâ, (Like the bishop is next to the royalty on the chessboard) Leona, he moves according to his wishes but doesnât sacrifice his own beliefs and methods in the process. He relies on Leona for protection and guidance, but will run away if he feels like he must (the chase scene with ace and deuce comes to mind. they didnât have any proof but to keep himself safe 100% he left anyways).
Not to mention âsecond in line to the king and queenâ - Ruggie is the vice leader of Savanaclaw - Leonaâs own little âkingdomâ as it were, so he already fills the role of second in command in canon.
He also could be considered an âoverseerâ. He watches over the dorm, does basic chores and errands for Leona, is someone leona trusts to carry out certain jobs - not to mention a good spy in general. Â
I suppose one could argue that Ruggie is a pawn aswell. Besides the obvious âoh heâs considered a pawn to leona lolâ, people forget that the pawn is the only piece who can turn into a Queen - aka the most powerful piece on the board. And Ruggie had that quote during the commercials that âeven a hyena can become king at this schoolâ. But thatâs just it - he specifically says King. The Bishop is second in line to the throne behind the king / queen. So, if anything happened to Leona then he would be the dorm leader / the king. I just feel as if Ruggie doesnât fit the Queen symbolism at all.
Not that I doubt Ruggieâs abilities or anything. His powerful will to survive above all else, his magical ability, and his sly nature definitely make him a powerful force - but I still donât think it fits.
I also like the idea of Ruggie being a kind of âadviserâ to Leona. Hear me out. In Leonaâs SSR heâs the one to stop Leona from going all out during the fight against his own dorm leaders, he offers legitimate advice to Leona at some parts of the main story and the SSR, and is able to sway his decisions and offer legitimate solutions to problems (for example, convincing Leona to let the MC and Grim stay at the dorm during Episode 3 - it wasnât a solution they liked but it was still one they could all agree on).
Ruggie to me just embodies the bishop so perfectly.
Leona: The King
OBVIOUSLY so I still want to go into this even tho the King is probably the most obvious choice for Leona.
Going back to the chessboard as a whole- the white king is meant to represent a personâs being while the black king can represent the âbeastâ within us all. The beast is said to represent the intelligence hidden inside of all of us. Now willsmith arms to Leona. This guy is smart, itâs almost scary. Scar was practically considered a tactician and Leona is the same. He comes off as lazy and uncaring but he has a deep understanding of how things work and uses the smallest of details to work things to his advantage. 90% of the time, Leona is the smartest guy in the room - but you wouldnât think he is at first.
Now, the king is often referred to as the weakest piece- if only for the poor movement of it being that of a pawn (and even then the pawn can move two spaces on its first turn - giving it advantage over the king in that sense). But itâs also the most important piece. The one that the entire game is fought for. The king can make or break the game - but it barely moves.
Even a real king isnât seen much by their subjects. They stay stay and wait for something to become important enough for them to leave their kingdom - and until then a king relies on those around him (in this case, the other pieces on the board) to fulfill his orders. Heâs far too important and thatâs why he barely moves from the back row on the chessboard.Â
If you think about it - Leona doesnât do much for his own plan in chapter 2. He relies on the magift team (mostly Ruggie) to execute the plan. The only time he really had a hand in what was going on was during the dorm leader meeting when he convinced the headmaster to keep Malleus on the field because it was essential to the plan with Ruggie causing the stampede- Malleus needed to be there to get caught up in it all. But that was something only he could have done, no one else could have filled that role for him. So again - the King doesnât step out of the back row unless absolutely necessary.
Before anyone argues about Leonaâs SSR and him stepping in then - Iâll take more of that into account during Jackâs section. But keep in mind he also mostly did that to have Jack indebted to him so my point still stands that the king doesnât move unless he needs to.
And no, despite his power level I donât believe heâs âqueenâ material. If only because he holds himself back so much (with his laziness, lack of ambition, etc). Itâs his lack of drive but also his reliance on others that has him leaning more towards the King rather than the Queen.
Jack: The Rook
Onto Jack - I struggled for a bit nailing down if he was the knight or the rook, if I am honest. His morals of fair fights and not owing people could definitely fall in line with a knight - but in the end I decided to go with Rook. For a number of reasons.
In Leonaâs SSR story, he specifically calls Jack a âpup who charges ahead without thinkingâ - similar to how a Rook can only move forward or to the side. It can go until something stops it - much like Jack was willing to keep fighting in the SSR story until Leona physically stopped him and stepped in himself.
Now the rook is also called the tower or the castle - and it traditionally represents the castle walls - the things that protect royalty and others. The rook is supposed to protect those on the inside of the board (as it is placed on both edges of the board) and protect those instead. The rook could also represent observation - watching the whole board and taking the best course of action to protect those it can. There are two kinds of observation, if we relate it back to the chessboard representing the inside and outside self. These are self reflection, orientated towards the interior / when the rook moves further into the board or side ways, and then moving forward as a kind of outward observation. Now Leona SPECIFICALLY mentions that Jack seems like heâs good at self reflection - thatâs what really had me start thinking of Jack as the rook.
Jack is reckless and stands up for what he believes in no matter what, but also knows when he canât handle a situation. He is good at observing a situation and making an honest call - even if it makes him sound blunt and rude. He knows exactly what heâs capable of, likely after a lot of his own self reflection, and is able to observe otherâs skills in a similar fashion (as he calls out his seniors during leonaâs ssr as being lesser magift players, clearly stating heâs superior than them when it comes to the game).
The rook is also the only one who can preform a move with the king called âcastlingâ - meaning the rook can switch places with the king in order to help the king move further away from danger or just to get more space into a move. This is also a type of observation where the rook is moving inwards and switching places with the overall being, the ultimate self reflection and cooperation with oneself.
^^^ THIS is the part I mentioned in Leonaâs section. The king and rook are the only pieces that can preform the castling move. This is EXACTLY what happened in Leonaâs SSR. He switched places with Jack. While in chess this is normally done to move the king out of danger - this is an exception considering Leona is....Leona. But I can see this as a way for their relationship to grow over the course of the story. Jack still obviously has an admiration for Leona even after the events of Chapter 2. And Jack definitely has the means to help Leona when it comes to fights, and in other capacities, so he is becoming very much a âcastleâ around savanaclaw. Someone who can be trusted to observe, to protect, to fight.
Heâs quick to protect others - as he is protective of ruggie during the main story and even his own SSR. He struggles a lot trying to win Ruggie and Leona over during his personal SSR and goes through ALOT of trouble to help Ruggie stay out of trouble with Leona. He didnât have to do this, but he saw it as beneficial to the greater good, to help one of high standing, to protect him from a possible rage from their âkingâ.
Now for some reason i really thought into pomefiore too so hereâs there analysis-
Rook: The knight
I definitely didnât want to fall into the trap of thinking he was the rook just because of his name. But thinking on it, he definitely fits a knight - at least from what we know of him so far.
For overall Knight symbolism: The knight represents the professional soldier of medieval times whose job it was to protect persons of rank, and there are two of them per each side in a game of chess. Knights in a game of chess are more important than pawns, but less important than bishops, kings, or queens. Their purpose in the game of chess is to protect the more important pieces, and they can be sacrificed to save those pieces just as pawns can.
The Knight might not be the most powerful or most willing to follow his leader around, but its skillset makes it unique. Their eccentricities allow them to succeed, often passing over much more talented Bishops.
The knight can also represent Divine Law, which everyone has to take in account for their actions.
NOW WILL SMITH ARMS TO ROOK HIMSELF.
I can definitely see him as being a knightly figure not just because of how he acts on his own but how he acts with Vil specifically. Heâs not an adviser of any kind like Ruggie, Vil even states in Jadeâs SSR that Rook could be a better Vice Leader. But heâs also not like Jack and rushes ahead without thinking. out of the three pieces in the back row that arenât the royalty, he fits the knight the best.
Not to mention I feel like the âprotect the more important piecesâ fits Rook aswell as he proves to be very loyal to Vil and very proud of being a pomefiore dorm member - he would do anything for this dorm.
The knights of society are also people who are only really good at one thing - and Rook has a specialty for hunting. Even to the point of kind of being stalkerish, as seen in his Lab Coat SR and Jadeâs PE uniform R. Also â Their eccentricities allow them to succeed, often passing over much more talented Bishops. â Him getting the jump on Ruggie a lot of the time would like literally translate to this and I didnât mean for that to happen but it did.
When it comes to âdivine lawâ Iâm just kind of connecting that to Rook being a hunter aswell. He knows the boundaries / laws of hunting and while he sometimes pushes those boundaries (like with Malleus and insulting him during Rooks PE uniform story) he doesnât cross them because he knows the chain of command / circle of life if you will - laugh track -
With the above point, the knightâs overall moveset is fitting to Rook as well. The knight moves in an L shaped patter and is able to easily skip over lines of defense / offense to get where it needs to go. The knight is the ONLY PIECE that can actually jump over other pieces.
Rook is good at figuring out strategies, getting around rules and just barely touching the lines of being too invasive. Rook is a hunter, clever and patient, and with a knightâs moveset he can go back and forth between enemy lines and not - planning an angle and slipping in when he sees an opportunity.
Vil: The Queen
AGAIN ANOTHER OBVIOUS ONE- and this one will be kind of short as we donât know a lot on Vil just yet (or at least I donât, I havenât read much of his card stories).
Vil obviously has status and power. The way heâs able to get the monstro lounge tons of customers without even knowing it - all by posting one picture with a hashtag? He becomes ambassadors for certain fashion brands, he keeps up with being a dorm leader, and giving practically his entire dorm etiquette lessons? Like shit this dude never slows down.
The Queens of society are often the closest to being in command, and arguably work the hardest. Considering Pomefiore was specifically advertised as a dorm thatâs very foundation is âhard workâ, it shouldnât surprise anyone that Vil is the queen in this situation.
and cracks knuckles theory time - if Vil overblots itâs gonna be BAD cause i mean - what happens when you lose your queen in a chess match?? You lose the most powerful piece on the board and a lot of your other pieces are sitting ducks. So yeah Vil overblotting is gonna be TERRIFYING thatâs all I can say.
Epel: The pawn
Another small blurb but I just wanna say that being the pawn isnât a bad thing!!
The pawn can represent a few different things - from everyday workers and laborers to simply how we are everyday - our attitudes and how we present ourselves. Both of these things are present within Epel, him coming from the countryside and mentioning farming and not to mention that he puts on a bit of a mask infront of everyone else.
The pawn has the ability to become another piece on the board and I think that thereâs that kind of potential for Epel too. He is struggling a bit with self image (which could be represented by the board itself as well - inner and outer self), but I think he has room to grow and Iâm honestly pretty excited to see what the pomefiore chapter does with his character tbh.
OKAY IâLL STOP WITH THE EXPLANATIONS THERE BUT HEREâS A LIST OF WHAT CHARACTERS FROM OTHER DORMS I THINK FIT WHAT PIECE AND IF SOMEONE WANTS ME TO GO INTO DETAIL ON THEM I CAN LATER-
Heartslabyul:
Riddle: Queen / King kind of a toss up Trey: Bishop Cater: Knight Deuce: Rook Ace: Pawn
Ocatvinelle:
Azul: King Jade: Knight or Bishop Floyd: Rook
Scarabia:
Kalim: King Jamil: Knight
Ignihyde:
Idia: King Ortho: Pawn
Diasomnia:
Mal: Queen / King toss up again Lilia: Leaning towards Knight Silver: Pawn or Knight Sebek: Rook
#ryrypost#twisted wonderland#savanaclaw#pomefiore#scarabia#heartslabyul#ignihyde#octavinelle#diasomnia#wheezes i had to stop myself from writing an essay here
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im in high school and it sucks do you have any advice you could give me
aright ive been thinking about this one for a little while, trying to actually come up with something helpful. in interest of accuracy, i graduated high school in 2019 and am about to enter my sophomore year of college.Â
first and foremost, you're in high school. i dont know what grade you're in, but at most you've got 4 years left. and after that you never have to see Any of the people you go to school with ever again if you dont want to. i know this one might seem kinda stupid, but it was one of the few thoughts that got me through junior and senior year. (also when i was home on college breaks (and right now during *this*) the only people ive seen from school are the ones that i choose to see and if i happen to run into someone else we either wave or just ignore eachother. i also live in a fairly smallish town)Â
find a spot to eat lunch thats not the cafeteria if possible. idk what kinda school you go to, and this is not possible at all schools, but if it is, take advantage of it. i would eat lunch in the crafts room 99% of the time and work on whatever project i was currently doing. sometimes my friends would join me and sometimes id be by myself, but either way it was nice to get away from the nonsense for a little bit.Â
make fun of your awful teachers. not to their face obviously, but with your friends. it makes the class that you absolutely cant stand so much more bearable. i had a teacher in my senior year who was absolutely awful and my friend and i who had the class together would make fun of him outside of the classroom.
doodle. some teachers do notebook checks, so dont do it in that notebook, get some plain lined paper or do it in a different notebook entirely, but doodling is a great way to relieve some of the stress and shit that goes on in class.Â
go on your phone. i probably shouldn't be advising this one, but i spent a fair amount of time on my phone in high school, esp as i got into senior year. i think i might have spent more time on my phone than paying attention honestly. theres definitely an art to it. but once you figure it out, its pretty simple. just make sure you're still getting decent grades.Â
snacks! figure out which of your teachers let you eat food in class and bring snacks. you'd be surprised how much snacks improve your mood. (maybe not this year tho cause of the whole pandemic thing. but if you're taking classes from home, do it!)
try to take at least 1 class that doesnt require a lot of brain power. my classes of choice were dance and crafts. if your school offers stuff like that, its nice to have a break in your schedule that doesnt require you to be sitting and taking notes and thinking about things.Â
know your limits when making your schedule. just because you place into all honors or get reccomeded for ap classes doesnt mean you Have to take them. obviously, parents (and sometimes guidance counselors) dont agree with this. but if theyre cool with it, only take honors or aps in areas that you actually enjoy. that way you will be more motivated to do the work. it also gives you a break in your other classes. when i was in high school, the bulk of my honors and ap classes were in history and english because that was what i was better at and liked more. i took non honors science and math when possible. those classes had significantly less homework, which left me time to do my homework for my harder classes without feeling stressed.Â
determine which classes you *actually* have to pay attention in. there will usually be one or two ones that you actually have to pay 100% attention in, and then you can kinda get away with not completely paying attention in the rest of them.Â
listen to music whenever possible. if you have a teacher that lets you have your earbuds in, take full advantage. or listen to music while changing classes, or during lunch. music does so much to improve your mood and its something to look forward to. just be careful of that one teacher every school has that makes you take out your earbuds. dont get in trouble.
give yourself an outlet. something that you can enjoy that is absolutely not connected to high school. it could be a youtube channel, a fandom, writing fanfic, a book, a movie, some form of media. and let yourself indulge in it after (or even during) school. i wrote a lot of fan fiction in class. i wrote character maps, hcs, song lists with themes, shit like that. and then when i got home i let myself watch like an hour or so of youtube before i did my homework. just because you're in high school doesnt mean you cant give yourself breaks. again, parents can be annoying about that because they see you not doing your homework and think you're a bad student, so dont get in trouble. but definitely give yourself breaks when doing homework.Â
try not to start or get mixed up in drama. its a lot easier said than done, but it makes everything so much better. also in the grand scheme of things, high school drama is not important.Â
find a few friends to be close with and stick by them. if you have one or two close friends in high school you're pretty much set. of course you can go through high school with no friends and make it out, but its easier to have a few close friends. it makes it fun. and if you dont have any friends at your school, internet friends work too.Â
dont get caught up in the whole college application thing. yes its stressful, but whatever school you end up at will be fine. and people often get so consumed by the process that they get incredibly stressed and forget to take care of themselves. make sure you're still hanging out with your friends and making time for yourself.Â
high school seems like the most important thing in the world when you're in it. but it's not. and you'll get through it. i hope this wast least a little bit helpful. if not feel free to message me or send me another ask!
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NCT NSFW: KUN
Goddamnit I fucking love Kun :â)
A â Aftercare
May or may not know exactly what to do. He tries tho.
Another member I see being soft afterward and really just wants to cuddle more than anything. Doesnât want you sleeping in a messy state so he gives you a warm bath. Takes off your make-up (if any of it survived), fixes your hair the best he can, moisturizes you skin, all that cute shit. Asks if you want anything else; water, a snack, cuddles, etc. If not heâll just throw on the tv and hold you til you fall asleep
B â Body part
On you, maybe your hands. Not for any particular reason, he just likes playing with them randomly and feeling them on his chest when you hug him from behind.
Oh himself, probably him arms. Theyâre not too big, not too small. Just the perfect amount of definition. Â
C â Cum
Pulls out purely so he can shoot his cum on your pussy. Literally rubs it around your lips like his dick is a paintbrush. I can see him being into creampies as well. Not really into having it anywhere else cause heâs not a fan of the mess.
D â Dirty Secret
Step-sibling porn; wouldnât tell anyone cause he doesnât wanna seem like a creep. This sounds so basic and common but I can see this being his go-to category.
E â Experience
Not a virgin but not super experienced. Likely slept with 2 maybe 3 women so he knows the basics but could still use some guidance.
F â Favorite Position
You riding him; his hands are gripping your hips and his eyes are glossing over every bit of you there is to see. He loves to lay underneath you as it gives him the perfect view of everything. Your pussy sliding up and down his slick length, your breasts bouncing and jiggling about, the expressions on your pleading face. Itâs like he has a front row seat to the show you put on especially for him.
G â Goofy
He is leading up to the act. When your kissing and taking off clothes heâs probably a giggly mess smiling into his kisses and such. Leads a little bit into foreplay with some corny compliments to make you blush but not much past that point.
H â Hair
Trims when he has time cause he prefers it over a bush but doesnât really make it a priority. Gets a clean shave on special occasions like valentines days or your anniversary just to be extra. Likes when you have a clean shave just cause he finds it cute and likes how smooth it feels on his face and lips but doesnât ever actually ask you to shave.
I â Intimacy Â
Heâs a little awkward cause he doesnât have a ton of experience but he really does try his best to make you feel good. Things get pretty steamy (literally, yall are both sweaty after). Very sensual with a lot of wandering hands and pants. Lots of open mouth kisses.
The type to believe sex is the most connected way of showing intimacy, so he tries his hardest to focus on making you feel good first, but sometimes he gets lost in how snug and tight you are around him. Whenever this happens he loses his sense of control and thrusts a bit harder than normal, eyes shut and jaw tight. All he can think about is how good you feel until you grab his wrist and pull him out of his fantasy. Then heâs back to focusing on you.
Non-sexual intimacy would mostly consist of back hugs and snuggles. Youâll be in the kitchen or the bathroom just doing whatever and heâll wrap his arms around you from behind, resting his face in the warmth of your neck and leaving some gentle kisses. Other times will appear more nonchalant, like holding you close when you're watching a movie. It might not seem like much from someone elseâs perspective, but to him, sitting there underneath blankets with his cheek being tickled by your hair, listening to your laughs with your head on his chest is where he feels most in love with you.
J â Jack-Off
Not too often, just as much as anyone else I feel. Possibly more just cause sometimes he doesnât wanna ask you to help him out if the mood isnât right. Like if itâs cold out and youâre cuddling while watching a cute movie heâll excuse himself to the bathroom cause he doesnât wanna ruin such an adorable moment.
Gets off to common porn, like step-siblings, college girls, solo girls, etc. Mostly goes for videos of you on his phone tho.
K â Kink
Light BDSM. Tying your hands behind you or using something to gag you. Likes hearing your moans muffled and watching you struggle with your arms bind from use, especially when you ride him. It gives him that little bit of control and confidence he needs to get a little bolder and more rough.
L â Limits
Kun is curious but not that adventurous. Heâd go along with some of the more basic thrills, not too far past the line of vanilla, but I donât think heâd be willing to do anything crazier than some roleplay and light bdsm.
M â Motivation (Turn-On)
Sexting in public. Doesnât matter if youâre in the same room or on opposite sides of the planet. If you send him risky photos with disregard to the fact that heâs in a meeting he gets fired up in less than a minute. He wonât even try to stop you, he encourages you in fact. The risk and taboo of the situation, watching videos of you with your hands in your panties across the table from his boss, demanding you show him just a little bit more, send thrills down his spine like nothing else. Â
N â NO (Turn-Off)
Being called Daddy. Outside of the bedroom heâll laugh at it and throw you a scolding look but heâs not all that into it in a sexual light at all. Â
O â Oral
Giving: Soft and gentle. Put your thighs over his shoulders, holds one of your hands while the other plays with your boob. Starts with fat licks just to taste you and warm things up, squeezing your boob in this hand. Then moves on to flicking your clit with the tip of his tongue and sucking on it A LOT. Heâs not sure what else to try, but your moaning at his actions spurs him on to continue what heâs doing. Abandons your boob to toy with your clit until you cum but holds your hand the whole time
Receiving: Not sure what to do with his hands. Kinda pets your hair and just watches you with half closed eyes. Might hold your hair out of the way but does it real loose and gentle. Lots of little pants, trying not to be too loud. Groans when he starts getting close and trips over his words when trying to tell you heâs close. Tries not to buck his hips and make you gag but fails. Doesnât mind if you choose to spit or swallow. Â
P â Place
9/10 itâs in the bedroom. Too nervous to do it anywhere that isnât the dorm or your place. You could maybe persuade him to let you give him a blow job in the bathroom of a public place but heâll be on edge the whole time.
As for in the house, shower sex occurs every now and then when one of you is feeling frisky or spontaneous. Also on the couch, when you two are home alone; say a sexy scene comes on during a movie, or your ass just feels too perfect on his lap and he canât wait long enough to get you into the bedroom.Â
Q â Quickie Â
Not too often. Only in some risky situations that you drag him into if you get him really riled up. *See risk for further explanation*
R â Risk Â
The riskiest thing heâll do it the sexting/watching your videos in public and jacking off in the bathroom as a result. Heâll never be the one to initiate it, but he canât resist you enough to say no if you want to get dirty in the dorms while the members are home, or blow him in an empty studio or conference room at SM. If heâs super horny or frustrated tho heâll have a quickie with you in the studio/conference room.
S â Stamina
Maybe 2 rounds
T â Toys Â
Heâd wear a cock ring if you asked but nothing other than that
U â Unfair [Teasing/Being teased]
Kun isnât one to tease simply cause heâs not that into the whole begging thing. You could get away with teasing him tho. He hates it when you drag your nails along his length, teasing his tip with the light swipe of your tongue and a peck of your lips, pulling him further and further to the edge just to leave him in agony. Doesnât have it in him to kill your fun or whip that evil little grin off your face tho. Heâll plead for you to stop with a sad laugh but doesnât really put forth any effort for you to stop. Once youâre done tho you can bet heâs gonna get more than just a little rough
V â Volume Â
Pretty quiet. Doesnât make a ton of noise other than some loud-ish pants and grunts. Doesnât talk much either, maybe an âoh godâ here and there.
W â Wild Card [Authorâs Choice]
I feel like heâs low key a perv.
Wouldnât be surprised if heâs passing the bathroom one day while your changing with the door cracked open and he stops to watch you and jacks off without you knowing. If he comes home and hears you masturbating you can bet heâs gonna watch you from the door and rub himself until youâre done.
Probably has a folder of NSFW photos and videos of you in his phone for when you guys are apart. Really into you sending him naughty photos and videos of yourself.
X â X-Ray [Dick Size]
Like 5 or 6 inches. Reasonably thick, not too much of a stretch but itâs there.
Y â Yearning [Sex Drive]
Not crazy. Sex happens like 2-3 times a week. Even when heâs on tour he doesnât get urges very often. Probably only when you send him something scandalous.
Z â Zzz [After Sex]
Honestly I donât think heâll be sleepy after unless itâs late at night. Heâll probably be up for a while afterward but doesnât really have the energy to do anything other than watch a movie. Heâll fall asleep 1 or 2 hours later.
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Chart First Impressions: Seungkwan
In celebration of Seungkwanâs bday, Iâm starting the âSeungkwan is Best Babyâ club and here is my list of reasons why you should join it.Â
These are just the first impressions I had to all of their charts â the parts that popped out to me as being notable, things I personally liked, things I thought were interesting or contrary to the image I have of them. Things like that. Iâm not looking at anything in particular with each reading. Some of their readings may be more aspect focused, where some may just focus solely on their personal planets. If you have any questions on specific aspects or want to request a more specific reading, feel free to send me an ask!I adore this boyÂ
our little capricorn babyÂ
lets have a nice little capricorn talk.Â
another misunderstood sign
caps can be seen as stubborn, maybe judgmental.Â
maybe sometimes overly practical and inflexible.Â
iâll be honest and say that caps have been the hardest for me personally to understand, but learning to understand them has been incredibly rewarding and enlightening.Â
the first hurdle you need to address if ur struggling to understand caps is to understand that they arenât miracle workers.Â
they are so easy to write off in readings as the hard-workers, the ambitious ones, the ones who get stuff done.Â
lmao there is an expectation that, if no other sign can do it, a cap probably can â but these things are obviously more complex than that, and no one is immune to failure. Â
honestly, i think the main reason why people think this is, is because a cap is gonna be the last one to be okay dropping things if they know no one else is going to pick it up after them.Â
even if theyâre over it and donât want to deal with it anymore â theyâre gonna be the ones who know how to find the patience and perseverance within themselves to see it to completion.Â
i went into it a little bit with seungcheol, but i think the primary identifying factor for a cap is their sense of responsibility.Â
how they decide to address/focus/direct this sense of responsibility is up to them, but iâve met various capricorns at very different places with their sense of responsibility.Â
some ignore it, some are CONSTANTLY THINKING ABOUT IT.Â
caps who struggle to focus it in any which direction can tend to be pretty fickle with their time and struggle to justify imputing excessive amounts of effort into things they arenât sure about.
if they donât see it amounting to something, theyâd rather not do anything. Â
and then you have the caps who are so committed in one direction who really feel as though time is constantly passing them by.
this is because theyâre so focused on their goals that they struggle to grasp the progress they are actually making.Â
either way, whatâs looming over them both is this hyper awareness of a sense of purpose (or lack there of).Â
and in my experience, they both tend to be rather insecure regardless of the place theyâre at with their goals.Â
theyâre either insecure in knowing they need to be doing things and arenât, or insecure in not knowing whether theyâre being the most efficient with their time.Â
thatâs just something to think about with both seungkwan and joshua, though i think this is much more prominent in seungkwanÂ
(not to say joshua doesnât have the same sense of responsibility, he just seems to be less quick to action than seungkwan is).Â
with seungkwan, heâs the opportunist capricorn.Â
theyâre the ones who donât wait for people to hype them up to start doing things.Â
if they see an opportunity, theyâve already signed on and have started preparing.Â
this makes sense considering his approach to variety shows.Â
if he sees the opportunity, he reaches out.Â
same with his cover of love poem, he saw the opportunity to make this connection with IU and it ended up being this really beautiful exchange.Â
this cap attitude is the one he exactly expressed in the behind the scenes, too, when he was explaining that he didnât know where the courage came from but he really wanted to directly ask IU for the instrumental.Â
he didnât HAVE to per say, but his lack of fear allowed him to pursue this project in a very sincere, touching, and authentic way.Â
it goes to show how good these caps are at putting the effort forward before they can think themselves out of it.Â
these caps are just a mystery to me because you canât even imagine where the idea to do the things they do come from, and before you have time to ask them what theyâre up to, theyâre already knee deep in the project and starting new ones as you speak.Â
but lets look at the rest of his chartÂ
weâve got a virgo moon!Â
so i feel like people donât give virgos enough credit for being some of the funniest people in the world, honestly.Â
they are naturally very clever people and consequentially very great conversationalists (so long as they donât have other, more reserved placements that may interfere).Â
they are this way because they are so observant and detail-oriented.Â
they can talk for hours about the intricacies of the most random things and can talk about them with such passion because they genuinely think the little things are the most interesting.Â
theyâre very similar to gemini placements in the sense that they want to know everything and study everything, and honestly just love being able to share their findings with people.Â
i think the primary difference is that geminis do it because they are so curious and inquisitive, almost to a fault.Â
where as a virgo approaches it more as research/getting their bearings.Â
they feel the most comfortable in situations where they can account for all the details, understand how each part functions, and can have enough information where they feel as though they can comfortably predict all possible outcomes.Â
theyâre so good at this to the point that they manage to come to these findings incredibly fast, almost subconsciously.Â
which is why you can hardly ever get anything past someone with a strong virgo influence. even when you think theyâre not paying attention.
they keep tabs on the most random, minuscule things and man will they let you know if something is not how it should be.Â
but how does this make him funny?Â
virgoâs take that attention to detail and they apply that to their humor.Â
theyâre the ones to point out that random thing they noticed you did that you didnât think anyone would notice, but boy did they notice it and did they think it was hilarious.Â
or the kind of things that wouldnât be funny inherently, but are funny because they put it in such a specific context that now you think itâs the funniest thing on the planet.Â
itâs because theyâre resourceful comedians who are super in tune not just with the nuance that puts those jokes over the top, but they are so good at finding the most obscure, random things to pick fun at.Â
theyâre humor also def leans more towards the satiric/absurd realm.Â
i mean, john mulaney is a virgo idk what more i need to say to prove how funny and weird virgos can be.Â
seungkwan honestly has such a big heart.Â
so i know earth signs have a habit of coming across cool or impersonal, and with a cap sun, mercury, venus & virgo moon youâd imagine heâd be too cool for school.Â
but donât forget virgo influences are one of the healers of astrology.Â
in astrology there are two âhealersâÂ
pisces are the emotional healers, and virgos are the physical healers.Â
this could explain his ultra obsession with helping the others maintain their health, and also why he manages to nag them about it in the sweetest way.Â
but weâve also got a virgo moon trine cap mercury.Â
this makes him incredibly emotionally competent.Â
having this aspect associated with both earth signs makes it so that his concern with health and stability is how he expresses his care. Â
he truly and deeply understands the role he plays in taking care of his members and takes it very seriously.Â
this also makes him really good at giving advice!!!Â
heâs so attentive and is really good at balancing emotional support with guidance.Â
this can also make him incredibly great in stressful situations as heâs able to take in chaos and turbulence through his moon and effectively process it. then his cap mercuryâs quick brain and knack for logics kicks in and starts problem solving.Â
his moon is opposite jupiter
this is the aspect that really makes him that fun-loving, sweet, warm-hearted boo we all know and love.Â
heâs so generous with affection and humor because it comes from this bottomless well within him.Â
heâs so accessible and i think this is one of the reasons why people are so quick to warm up to him.Â
hehehe tho he does have a tendency to over do it due to that opposition.
the jupiter influence gives him this super open and free energy from that added sag influence while making him incredibly optimistic at heart.
heâs just so easy to be around, and when you see him open up his arms to you thereâs no reason for you not to return the gesture.Â
not only that, but talking with him is so fun because he is so animated and so passionate yet so invested in the conversation because he genuinely enjoys hearing from different perspectives.Â
he is truly a happy, and optimistic person at heart and associating this with his moon makes him incredibly stable and enduring in the face of emotional turmoil.
it doesnât make him immune to emotions or sadness, but he is certainly always able to find a silver lining while also allowing him to be constructive on the reasons he may have ended up where he was.Â
but you take that and then you add his already super committed capricorn energy, and what you get is this incredibly resilient guy.
itâs because of this that heâs so capable of being present in every single aspect.Â
there is at no point that seungkwan checks out, may it be professionally, personally, emotionally. Â
he is truly someone you can depend on in all fronts.Â
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Is Bruce a good father to Damian, specifically? I mean, he seems to have learnt from past mistakes... but in preboot, does he even care about Damian at all? Didn't seem like it most of the time (especially in Resurrection of Ra's al Ghul, where he didn't even seem to care that Damian's life is in danger). Do you think he cared about Damian preboot?
Well, you are both right in that reboot!Bruce puts his preboot counterpart to shame where Damianâs concerned. The thing is, the reboot gave a much bigger place to Bruce and Damianâs dynamic than preboot ever did. Those two actually donât have that many scenes together in preboot, and said scenes were usually part of a bigger plot/narrative that left little room to focus on their relationship.
Iâll answer this in three stages in order to address everything our Anons mentioned:
Bruce & Damianâs dynamic as portrayed by Morrison
The Resurrection of Raâs al Ghul
Conclusion: does preboot!Bruce care about Damian? And was he a good father to him? (spoilers: yes and no, respectively.)
The conclusion summarizes everything so jump there if the argumentation part is too long.
A) Morrisonâs Damian & Bruce
Disclaimer: I really, really hate Morrisonâs writing. Iâll try to be reasonable when criticizing it but be extra aware of that bias. It makes me put most of Bruceâs action on the writer rather than the character and while I have my reasons & probably wonât change my opinion, itâs still a pretty categorical take.
Honestly I think Morrisonâs Bruce does feel responsible for Damian. Iâm even sure he cares about him too:
[Batman (1940) #657]
Actually, the whole issue is pretty good where Bruce & Damian are concerned. Must be my favorite thing Morrison has ever written. He installs interesting things character-wise, like Bruce making an extra effort to make Damian comfortable in the Manor & be patient with him, or Damian being an insufferable brat up until Bruce snaps at him, at which point he immediately switches off to âyes sirâ in front of that new figure of authority.
Those are interesting bases to construct a dynamic upon. Problem is, theyâre not gonna be exploited.
Here Bruce shows clear intent to provide guidance to Damian. But rather than give Bruce the occasion to follow up on that intent, and to develop a real relationship with Damian, Morrison gives us the incident Anon mentioned in the next frickinâ issue : an explosion set by Morrisonâs godawful âââTaliaâââ that shouldâve killed both her and Damian, and Bruce staring dramatically into the distance.
Does Bruce investigate their disappearance while Damian is being hardcore abused by his mother? Nah, heâs too busy skiing with one Jezebel Jetâ a relationship Morrison needs to install since Jezebel has a notable role in Batman RIP.
My point is: as of #658 Morrison considers this arc finished & that thereâs nothing to add. By that logic itâs valid to forget Damian until heâs relevant again plot-wise. Itâs not (i think?) a way to tell us Bruce doesnât care about Damian.
Letâs fast-forward to the disputable editorial & writer choice to launch Batman Inc/Leviathan  just after Bruceâs return from the âdeadâ without A) leaving room for a  confrontation/closure scene between him and Damian beforehand; or B) letting them actually interact more than the strictest minimum in said arc. From a strictly in-universe POV though, itâs not ooc for Bruce to decide unilaterally that Damian doesnât need him or to focus on the crisis to come without talking to his son first.
I guess I should be talking about Batman Incorporated Vol. 2 too, âcause while itâs technically N52 itâs very much in the continuity of the storyline Morrison started in preboot. It also has a few Bruce & Damian moments where despite terrible miscommunication Bruce seems to worry for Damian⊠But then the plot requires Bruce sending Damian back to the mother who, in this dumbass version, abused him all his life.
[Batman Incorporated (2012) #4]
If I got that right this is a âHero must make Big Sacrifice for the Greater Goodâ moment. The fact that Bruce loves Damian isnât put into question: it makes the sacrifice more significant.
And thatâs kinda my problem. First weâre told that Bruce wants to provide for Damian, but then whatever affection he feels for the boy is sidelined or even sacrificed to other narrative considerations.
So basically Bruceâs love for Damian has no significance in itself. Itâs a given that doesnât particularly need to be illustrated or expanded on; itâs stocked until we need it to breed impact in some scenes. Like the one above or, youâve guessed it, Damianâs death. So yeah Bruce loves Damian. He loves him so much heâs sad when he dies. Ahem.
All in all itâs not a father-son story: else there would be more banter, slice of life sequences, time for the dynamic to develop, etc. Itâs a hero-who-loses-stuff-in-war story. One story isnât better than the other, they just appeal to different types of audiences.
âDoes my father love meâ is a personal thus small stake. Batman Inc/Leviathan or âCan I keep this future from happeningâ are world-wide to city-wide thus big stakes. I think a marked interest in the Big Ideas is what characterizes Morrisonâs writing. Thus the portrayal of character relationships has a very specific place in his stories.
Anyway: I donât think Morrison ever wanted to imply Bruce doesnât care about Damian. Itâs just that heâs a plot-driven writer and that both charactersâ interactions & smaller stakes, although somewhat present in his narratives, will always come second in the big schemes of things.
If you consider that Bruce behaving like he does under Morrisonâs pen proves he doesnât give a damn about Damian though, I sure as hell wonât fault you for it.
B) Bruce & Damian in The Resurrection of Raâs al Ghul
(God re-reading an in-character Talia these days is an oasis in the desert. Gotta love that arc all the more for that.) Â
Not gonna lie fam. Our two Anons are right when they say Bruce is pretty cold in that one.
But A) Bruce is also dealing with a crisis, which means heâs emotionally removing himself from the situation; B) heâs not treating Damian differently than he is Dick or Tim⊠which weâll see is the problem tho.
It doesnât excuse Bruceâs behavior (I think heâs out of line myself), but I just donât think it implies he doesnât care about Damian.
Youâll notice that his apparent aloofness applies to Tim too (and Dick although heâs not mentioned), and that it equally unsettles Talia.
[Nightwing (1996) #138]
I want to stress the apparent in aloofness. On several occasions during RoRAG Talia reproaches Bruce that heâs not confronting his feelings what else is new. I believe heâs worried about the boys, all of them, but he also trusts them to handle themselves. He also thinks that if he so much as voices his worry, he wonât be able to focus and do what he has to. So he represses them and goes fully in Batman-mode.
Fast-forward. When Bruce is barking at Damian to pick up a sword and fight, itâs his way of protecting himâ he needs Damian to defend himself.
[Detective Comics (1937) #839]
Because itâs not fair to show this without context: 5 seconds before Bruce legit bites Damianâs head off, chill out dude, he goes all protective batdad upon seeing Raâs trying to steal Damianâs body.
So yeah. I have reasons to believe Bruce is scared out of his mind here. Hence the very aggressive way he tries to shake Damian into action.
So far Bruce gets a pass. Itâs afterwards that he deserved to be punched in the face imo, and thatâs probably the scene our Anons had in mind:
In fact, Bruce is expecting the same from Damian than heâs expecting from his two other sons. To be precise, heâs not treating either of them as sonsâ theyâre on the field, theyâre Robin & Nightwing right now. Aka soldiers/partners/teammates rather than family. And Bruce is putting Damian on that exact level when he shouldnât be.
Itâs harsh, and thatâs emphasized next to Talia (who is actually written like a Talia). Sheâs all aggressively worried mother and Bruceâs all cold commander, the contrast is off-putting.
Talia reacts like a mother first by fleeing to save herself and her son. But Bruce canât let Raâs to his own devices, and he expect his sons to fight beside him.
Itâs unfair to Damian âcause heâs not Robin yet, heâs not part of Bruceâs war the way Dick and Tim chose to be, he didnât choose to be dragged into Raâs schemes: heâs snapping to attention at Bruceâs order out of a childish need for validation, not out of a conscious & thought-out choice to make this his life. Also heâs ten. Yet those considerations fly over Bruceâs head: right now and unlike Talia, heâs not thinking like a father.
Do I think Dini balances the Greater Good vs Familial Attachment dilemma better than Morrison does? Hell yeah. He took the time to show Bruce ripping Raâs apart at the beginning of the issue to prove us Bruce cares. And for all that Bruceâs wrong here, Dini has him fighting beside Damian, not sending him off on his own. Taliaâs fleeing with her son gives the reader a reality check & puts the validity of Bruceâs choice into question as it should be. The stakes are also so much more concrete that âdistant dark future to avoidâ.
Next is probably my fave line ever written about Bruce & Damian âcause it gives so much sense (or depth) to Bruceâs hands-off approach.
And like. Everything that Bruce says here is true. Thatâs exactly what Damianâs character arc should be about. But dude maybe try to have a relationship with your son outside of the Batman legacy? The thing is Bruce built his relationships with all his kids through vigilantism and I think he just. Doesnât know how to do it differently. The idea doesnât even cross his mind for godâs sake.
By my understanding itâs not that Bruce doesnât love Damian. Itâs that he genuinely believes Damianâs better off without him.
Itâs low key confirmed in Bruce Wayne: The Road Home.
[The Road Home: Batman & Robin]
((Donât trust anything Bruce says about Dickâs âcasualnessâ or whatever in this issue tho. Nicieza just⊠doesnât know Dickâs character all that much.))
So Bruce is basically taking the easy way out, yeah. Both in âTec and in choosing itâs not worth trying to work with Damian as his partner. He decides Talia is a better parent & Dick is a better mentor than he could be, and heâs off fighting the good fight against Leviathan.
We can stretch it and say Bruce probs decided heâll take care of his relationship with Damian after the Leviathan thing is dealt with but tbh I donât know if DC or Morrison thought that far ahead.
Conclusion
Morrisonâs narrative installs that Bruce does feel morally obligated to care for Damian. And although I get why it can feel uncertain, Iâm not sure weâre supposed to doubt Bruce loves Damian.
Bruce not looking for Damian after the explosion is is more due to the writerâs choice to consider the âDamian issueâ closed for now so that he can focus on his next plot/installment. I guess.
When Bruce has the idea to send Damian back to fake-Talia, I guess his love for his son is a tool used to show how much Bruce is a selfless hero*. and a terrible dad but heâs a Heroâą so itâs okay.
Bruce in RoRAG doesnât come as indifferent to Damianâs safety to me, heâs being his dumbass self in a crisis situation. Heâs got no excuse for sending Damian alongside Dick & Tim when he did though.
On two occasions Bruce unilaterally elects that Damian is better-off without him. First with the in-character Talia who actually loves her son, second as Dickâs partner.
* Actually itâd be very interesting if someone who liked that comic-book could explain me wtf I didnât get about its narrative significance. Sometimes our personal tastes just render us blind to some things guys.
TL;DR: Does preboot!Bruce love Damian? Yes. Was he a good father to him? No.
And Iâm feeling way more comfortable giving a categorical answer here than when I was asked if Bruce is, in general, a good father.
To be fair Bruce does try to step into a fatherly role in Morrisonâs Batman #657, aka just after he meets Damian. Afterwards we get sidetracked; and later storylines just. Donât really give Bruce & Damian the opportunity so share father-son moments.
His behavior in RoRAG is just plain bad. The fact that itâs not due to indifference doesnât change that. The ten-year-old who didnât ask for shit should be treated differently that the seasoned vigilantes Dick and Tim are, period.
Obviously leaving Damian in fake-Taliaâs clutches or wanting to send him back to his abuser goes under âbad father pointsâ too. If you consider the whole of Morrisonâs run should be integrated into your personal understanding of the character, that is. woops look at that terrible bias showing its ugly face again
In later episodes, itâs tempting to give Bruce a pass by saying that he just didnât get the chance/time to be a good father to Damian, and part of it is true. But again, failing to invest in that relationship is completely in-character, and tbh itâs the part I find the most interesting character- and narrative-wise:
Itâs A) self-depreciating (âTalia or Dick can provide my son what I canâtâ); B) self-centered, in that Bruce doesnât stop to consider what Damian thinks or wants; and C) cowardly, in that the second thereâs someone else available to take care of Damian, Bruce stops trying to be a father and to invest himself emotionally because gasp, feelings!
As a comparison, think of how long it took for Bruce to go from mentor-protĂ©gĂ©-e to father-child in his relationship with Tim and Cassandra; and to admit thatâs how he felt about those kids. He didnât adopt Dick until he was an adult either. Batdad needs time to un-constipate. Itâs a Bruce thing, not a Bruce & Damian one.
(Jason is the only kid with whom Bruce immediately builds a wholesome relationship and thatâs where you cry because if Jason didnât die Bruce wouldnât have half as much trouble getting close to his kids.)
Hope this word-vomit answers that. Thanks for the asks!
#bruce wayne#damian wayne#batman#dc comics#batfam#batfamily#meta#batdad#dick grayson#tim drake#talia al ghul#ra's al ghul#jason todd#robin#nightwing#red robin#zae chatters#asks#my stuff
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Keep Your Eyes On Me Part 2
So this is part 2 of my submission to @waiting4inspiration âs 2k follower challenge. In case you missed part 1
Warnings- implied nudity, language, I think thatâs it. That good good (smut/lemon) is in part 3 tho so heads up.Â
Part 2
You got up and stretched before you took off your dragon armor and dragon wool outer layers and lounged around your home away from home and made yourself something to eat before you got into bed in just your dragon silk under layers, what essentially looked like a tank top and leggings and got into your own bed and read from your âjournalâ all the âhistoryâ youâd be changing if things went according to plan as the fire in your shelter stayed ever burning, keeping things comfortable which lulled you into sleep too before long.Â
You woke up only moments before Bjorn did and barely had your dragon wool outer layers on by the time he opened his eyes.Â
âAm I in Valhalla?â He asked as he looked around, this..didnât look like Valhalla. Although he wasnât in nearly as much pain as his mind told him he should be in, so maybeâŠ
âNo,â you shook your head no as you continued getting dressed and put your armor on over your wool layers because you didnât trust him to not harm you yet. The way any wounded animal bites.Â
âWhat is that?â He questioned as he gestured to what you were wearing.Â
âItâs my armor.â You answered as you fastined it and ran your hands over it.Â
âWhatâs it made out of?â He asked as he eyed itâs texture.Â
âDragon scales.â you beamed proudly.Â
âWhat?â He shook his head in confusion.Â
âIâm a Valkyrie from Asgard remember? Well, more specifically Neveah. Dragons still fly free there, theyâve died out here a long time ago. At home weâve also domesticated them. Dragons are likeâŠbig scaley horses as far as temperament goes. When dragons shed their scales so that they can grow new, bigger ones, we collect them and make armor out of them. When they do, they reveal the dragonâs down, the way a duck or goose has down, like a soft fuzzy hair under each scale. However for some breeds of dragon, weâve bred them so that the downy hair grows more abundantly instead of the scales, it grows like sheepâs wool, mare dragons, their down is much finer than a stud dragonâs is, mares grow whatâs called dragon silk, stud dragonâs down is much thicker and itâs a bit rougher, they grow dragonâs wool. Itâs really hard to dye to make different colors, ten times longer than it takes anything else to dye but once it dyes, the color never fades, ever. Itâs also super durable while being breathable and depending on how you weave it, it can take the sweat off of you while not letting you get wet like if youâre out in the rain and itâs a bit stretchy. But itâs so tough that only dragonâs teeth can cut it decently well, Thankfully dragons regrow their teeth every shed and then once they reach full size, they regrow a new set every ten years or so. Baby dragonsâ teeth, we use those for needles, medium teeth, perfect for small knives and scissors, the larger teeth, swords.â You explained as you pointed to the different layers of clothes you were wearing to show the differences in fabrics as Bjorn reached out to feel the fabric before you gestured to your dragon toothed sword on your hip before you handed him your dragon tooth knife to look at. It looked like rainbow titanium. It was always important to mix the truth in with the lies so that the whole was more believable because the truth was, back at home in the future medical science brought back dragons, all the varieties in ancient lore but with a twist of being domesticated. And you were really from an island nation called Neveah.Â
âYou really are a Valkyrie.â He breathed in awe before he handed the blade back to you.Â
âWell on this plane I am, back home Iâm a Dragoner.â You smiled proudly as you put the knife back in its place, and that was true, you and your whole family were Dragoners. Some of the best in Neveah. âAre you hungry?â you asked thoughtfully. As you got another pillow and helped him sit up in bed a bit better and more comfortably. Â
âYeah,â he nodded.Â
âOk, let me make you the dagmal then.â You offered as you began to make some breakfast for you both. You made him griddle cakes with berries in the batter, drizzled with honey and some ham and sausages, scrambled eggs along with making him a fresh loaf of bread from your breadseed.Â
Breadseed was something special that grew only in the poles in your time, it was discovered when some of the ice caps melted and looked like super large milo plants when it grew in the dead of winter, sunlight tended to burn the leaves of the plant so it only grew in the light of the moon and from the northern lights when the temperatures were consistently -50°. Because anything above zero, the plant wilted and turned to mush, but when picked when you harvested the seeds and very carefully and very slowly brought it up to room temperature while you dehydrated it, they were fine, they made a delightful tea when steeped in hot water and was world renowned for its superb and surprisingly sweet and fruity flavor and longevity benefits. A handful of breadseed seeds looked like bronzer pearls, the more pearlescent the seed, the sweeter it was and came in varieties and flavors that most would recognize as bread and cake flavors. How the breadseed itself worked was you took a kernel which had a waterproof husk and once that was peeled away right before consuming since the husk kept it fresh, you put it into water, it expanded exponentially and grew very hot, baking itself and became something that mimicked and perfectly resembled a new loaf of bread and had all the health benefits that bread had and then some including added vitimins and minerals that were easy for everyone to digest, the loaves were the size of a soccer ball with a pocket, the size of your fist, on the inside in the middle, where still more breadseeds lined it. A handful of breadseed could feed an army. Back home they were international currency, but here and now they were just plain food.Â
You took the round loaf and split it, one half was two thirds of the loaf and the other was about a third of the size of the whole, you didnât need to eat a lot, this poor man hasnât had a good meal in a very long time, he would appreciate the larger half but the action helped you to get at the pocket in the middle and scooped the breadseeds out and added them to your breadseed pouch before you went back to Bjorn and served him his breakfast or simply, his day meal which is what the dagmal was to him- in bed. Using the little table you had attached to the bed to set everything on so he didnât have to balance it all in his lap.Â
âHere you go.â You offered before you got him a large cup of buttermilk. Vikings liked buttermilk to drink for their day meal. Or so youâve read.Â
âWhy are you doing all of this for me? There were others there that deserve this more than I do.â He asked as he looked at all the food and hesitated in eating it.Â
âOdin has a path for you, Iâm here to help you find it, walk in it and follow it. Once you do, Iâll be gone as quickly as I came, because by then, you wonât need me or my guidance.â You informed him.Â
âWhat is the path?â He asked as he slowly started to eat.Â
âIâm not allowed to tell you, because if I do, it wonât happen. But youâll know it when itâs in front of you.â You gently urged before you gave him a reassuring squeeze of his shoulder with a gentle smile before you left back into the kitchen area of your tent as Bjorn thought over your words and brought your food over to the little table and one of the chairs and ate yourself, drinking your freshly squeezed orange juice and bacon and omelet with pancakes and sausage as you low key looked at him out of the corner of your eye and noticed how he suddenly seemed to try to eat everything all at once.Â
âThis is so good,â he praised between bulging mouthfuls.Â
âThank you.â You smiled proudly.Â
âSo whatâs your name Valkyrie?â He asked curiously.Â
âWhat would you like to call me?â You returned, knowing heâd probably like you better with a norse name rather than your own.Â
âAstrid.â Bjorn decided since you were still, the most beautiful woman heâd ever seen in his life and that name suited you perfectly.Â
âAstrid it is.â You smiled back.
After he ate, he fell back asleep and once he was out, you took away the dishes and put them in the sink before the automatic washer washed them for you before you pulled up his biometric readouts from him into the simulation model and were pleasantly surprised when he was healing at a much higher rate than estimated before you recalibrated your algorithms to get a better and more accurate prediction for when he would heal. He should be out for the nextâŠ2 hours or so. Plenty of time for you to get a bath because your deodorant was dying and you could use one since back on Neveah, you bathed twice a day. Once in the morning to be clean for the day and then again at night, usually a bath to relax and unwind before bed. Â
You got undressed and went into the bathroom section of your tent where a large tub was already full of swirling hot water and you undressed and stepped into the water and blew out a breath of relief as you stepped into the hot water and sat down before a tray lifted from the side, showing you a bath bomb and a vile of bath oil.Â
You happily took it and dropped the bathbomb in before you smelled the bath oil. Ooh, jasmine with hints of lilac and gardenia. Hell yeah, you poured it in before you took off your face mask that morphs your face to appear however you wanted it to look and took it off and put it on itâs holder before you took the headband off that made your hair take on the long blonde hair Vikings loved and revealed your blue razzberry blue hair in itâs ponytail and pulled your hair down before you took the universal translator out of your ears and the projected screen in front of your face so that to everyone looking on, your face moved with your ranslated words and set them down on the tray and blew out a breath of relief and flexed your face as you rubbed your eyes before you slipped under the water and relaxed for a moment before the inside of the bathtub lit up and alerted you Bjorn woke up early which had you coming up out of the water to hurriedly put on your disguise again before Bjorn hobbled into the room and you ducked back into the water to press the hatch at the bottom of the tub to release an emergency bathing suit which you quickly put on under the water before you emerged because you were running out of breath.Â
âBjorn?â You said as you wiped the water off your face and looked at him questioningly. âYou should be in bed, do you need something?â You asked as you moved to be closer to him.Â
âAâŠbath.â Bjorn offered as his mouth went dry because your bathing suit was strapless and it appeared that you were naked because the waters were milky white from the dissolved bath bomb.Â
âOh, uh, sure, yeah,â you nodded in agreement and stood up and noticed the small pout he made when it was revealed that you were not naked and stepped out of the water to help him out of all of his clothes except for his underwear before you helped him into the water before you handed him a bar of soap, a washcloth and a comb.Â
âYou could join me.â Bjorn suggested sheepishly.Â
âOnly if you swear not to touch me.â You returned a little warily.Â
âOn my honor.â He immediately agreed before you joined him but sat across from him in the large tub and watched as he lathered the soap and began to clean himself up.Â
âSo how did you become a Valkyrie?â He asked.Â
âI was recruited and trained like any soldier.â You answered simply.Â
âSo do you have a family back on Asgard?â He questioned.Â
âI do. I have my parents and a sister and two brothers.â You revealed.Â
âIs your sister a Valkyrie too?â He prodded, trying to get to know you.Â
âNo, she cares for the bloodlines of the family dragons as well as helping them lay successful clutches of eggs. My brothers handle the training of the dragons so they can take riders when theyâre juveniles while my grandparents mainly care for all the grandchildren of the family and the baby dragons. My mother makes jewelry out of the shed scales of the babies as they grow while my father builds armor as do my brothers when theyâre not training. That armor that I wear, my father built it just for me and it has never failed me.â You revealed with a fond smile.Â
âDo you have a husband and children of your own?â Bjorn asked.Â
âNo, as a Valkyrie, Iâm not allowed to have a husband or birth any children unless I retire first and Iâm nowhere near retirement age.â You answered.Â
âDo you want them?â He posed.Â
âIâm sure I will eventually. But not at the moment.â You shook your head no.Â
âWhat about you? Do you have a family back home that youâre anxious to return to?â You asked curiously as you tilted your head to the side.Â
âI have a sister and her family are back in Kattegat. I havenât seen her in a year, everyone else is dead.â He answered. âI was hoping to gain a fortune on this raid but so far there hasnât been much to gain.â Bjorn explained.Â
âThe places you raid are learning and adapting to you and your tactics and word spreads faster than wildfire.â You surmised as Bjorn found himself nodding in agreement to that. âIt means in order to get what you want, you may have to change your tactics.â You hinted which caused you to grin. âBy the way, moving forward. There are rules for keeping my company. First, I am your guide to your path so that means when I give you advice, it would be best if you followed it because my purpose in giving it to begin with, is keeping you alive and keeping you safe but if you grow reckless, and abuse my help and support, Iâll call in a replacement and she will not be nearly as nice or as pretty as I am or worse yet, Iâll go back in time and leave you to die the way I found you. Iâm as good as it gets. Second. I am not your slave, or thrall as you would call it or anything like that. You donât boss me around. Third, this is as close as we get. I donât mind being your friend on your journey, but anything more than that, especially anything romantic is out of the question and if you even hint at anything like that, Iâm out and Iâll be replaced. Fourth, anyone who touches me without my consent, they loose their hands, including you. You can walk on your path with just one hand. Understood?â You proposed as you leveled him with a look.Â
âUnderstood.â Bjorn nodded with a gulp.Â
âLetâs shake on it.â You suggested before you shook hands with him as your materializer made him new clothes and armour.Â
After that the conversation flowed much easier and you both got a better sense of who the other person was in terms of character until the water grew cold and you decided to get out.Â
âHere, new clothes for you.â You said as you handed him the freshly made clothes made out a blend of dragon silk and dragon wool with dragon silk boxers which he had to get changed into himself.Â
âThis is really nice.â Bjorn said as he felt the fabric, nothing he had ever put on his skin had ever felt this good before.Â
âNow, when youâre all healed up, I have new armor for you. Itâs not dragon scale like mine, because giving you dragon scale is forbidden by The Code, but itâs the toughest thing in this world. Way down south of here, in a place called Africa, is a large lizard that they call the crocodile, itâs large enough that it can kill and eat people. This is itâs hide. Itâll stop most weapons. Itâs the best I can give you.â You offered as you showed him his suit of armor.Â
Getting him travel ready only took you four days rather than the seven you thought it would at first because he took the serums you injected into him better than anticipated and continued to make improvements and he surprised you every day by how well he was able to progress. This mission may take less time than you anticipated.Â
Once he was ready, you set up a neural link between both of you, that way you could keep communicating without talking which would come in handy if you were in a form other than human and transformed back into a horse, your tent changing in appearance to that of a normal tent of the time period from the outside and you were able to make it so that Bjorn could easily set it up and take it down before he put it on your saddle and rode you back to the camp where some of the survivors were and still nursing their own wounds and regrouping.Â
âWhat happened to you?â They asked Bjorn.Â
âI got caught in this horseâs reins and it dragged me north, I was able to tame it a little since sheâs still green broke and half wild but obviously I was able to bring her back.â Bjorn answered since that was the answer both of you had agreed upon would be the most believable as he got off of you and lead you towards the rest of camp.Â
âWhat are you wearing?â They asked as they eyed what he was wearing now.Â
âOh, this is what the dead fucker that was tied to her saddle was wearing, once I got him off of her and got her settled down, I saw that it was still good, I tried it on and it fit and it was better than what I was wearing.â Bjorn shrugged. âI think he was deserting the fight because she was packed with a tent and a bedroll and food.â He explained as he gestured to everything on your saddle.Â
âServes him right, filthy coward.â his surviving friends sneered but beamed proudly at Bjorn as they eyed you appreciatively as the shield maidens who had survived came over to you curiously as you greeted them sweetly and endeared yourself to them.Â
Getting Bjorn and the others back home to Kettegat was more arduous than you expected but you and Bjorn grew closer as friends along the way, only appearing in your human form when you were alone with him, otherwise you were a horse and because of your senses and abilities you were always the first to alert the group of wolves and bears and even other people before you joined back up with another raiding party and traveled back home to Kettegat.
#Vikings#Viking imagines#Vikings crossover#OC viking#history vikings#viking reader insert#Keep Your eyes on me#Keep your eyes on me part 2
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SPOILERS!!!! CHARMED 01x18
Y'all....
First off I just want to talk about what I appreciate this episode
1) Tessa. Listen up, while I am more for Harry's, trust us to figure things out and ask for your help method of guidance, I appreciate any woman who is like "This is my job, I take it seriously and I will be respected when I know more than you." I dont like that she does come off as rude and obviously does not trust the girls and thier judgements, but I dont resent her for being efficient or even a strong personality.
2) Macy telling Galvin that Harry taught them that it is their actions not thier nature that define them. I mean as a Hacy fan this is just gold, but in general and as a HP fan Lines like this really mean a lot to me. Because I like feeling that we all have agency and our choices are still our own no matter what.
3) A conversation on race. Listen I am Latina and am in no way trying to steer the conversation away from Black people, but I really connected with this conversation and feel that Latinxs do have to deal with this as well. There is this complicated relationship as children of immigrants with our parents culture and the negotiation that happens as you grow up in America. Because on some level you know (in my case in particular) that you arent Mexican because if you went to Mexico little cultural clues and history would be lost on you, and yet you arent fully the "ideal American" who can fully connect with thos history that is taught to you and yet excludes you. Then there are those who are mixed races Latinxs who also question thier place on this scale of Mexicaness (my case) because some of the traditions are lost in negotiation as parents pick and choose what to introduce you too. Or in my sisters case where she is half Mexican and half Salvadorian she has this whole other history and part of her that she doesnt really know any thing about because growing up in an area that is predominantly Mexican she never really knew anything else. Maggie's struggles and feeling in between being brought up felt so powerful to me and I love that the show didnt gloss over it and recognize that she will have to deal and discover as she goes.
Now to things I dont appreciate
1) Missing Harry. Fiona is jacked up and I just want Harry back. Also I knew the Sarcana were just tools to her, but that carnage was not appreciated.
2) Galvin... look I am just gonna stick to the character. I gave him slack at first because 1. Macy wasnt that great of a communicator with him and 2. he didnt know about magic. I felt that he was flawed as a character in the way he went about his relationship with Macy and that they didnt have chemistry. BUT he was growing on me...NOW I am just done. I get it I do. He went through some scary stuff, at first the discovery of something new (magic) and getting the girl, that's enough to make anyone brave. If he is going to wimp out after the first bad experience LET HIM GO!! Harry and Nico have been through some Scary crap (granted Nico doesnt remember some of that, but I dont think she will scare easily) but as characters they still are ready to face whatever is next. Also hold my drink, my earrings, my bag, and me back because "I guess there are some forces out there stronger than love." YOU OBVIOUSLY NEVER WATCHED HARRY POTTER OR OG CHARMED OR ELSE YOU WOULD KNOW THAT LOVE IS THE STRONGEST MOST ANCIENT MAGIC THERE IS IN THE UNIVERSE!!!! HOW F**KING DARE YOU!! I guess there are some forces out there stronger than your ability to trust in someone else. I get that you are traumatized and you have every right to walk away, believe that I respect you more for leaving now than later when the poop hits the fan. What I dont appreciate is trying to kick Macy while she is down and putting it in her head that she cannot be loved with her demon-side. YOU cannot handle it, YOU are choosing yourself and your comfort (again not bad). Dont make this about her, dont make her think that love is based on stipulations. Even if you do learn how to still help out or be around magic carrying that trauma, I dont want you back. You dont deserve my queen.
Overall. I liked the episode but it felt like another stepping stone to get to where we need to be. I am ready for the next one.
#cw charmed#charmed remake#charmed 2018#charmed reboot#charmed cw#harry x macy#macy vaughn#maggie vera#hacy#mel vera#galvin burdette
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to have a friend, chapter two: $40
on ao3 1
here we are again. hope everyone had a good october, mine was....something. sorry if the writing style/tone changes a bit throughout, i basically wrote this in two sittings, just two sittings with a month between them
warning: discussions of mental health, mentions of suicide/suicide attempts, suicidal thoughts, let me know if other warnings need to be added
enjoy!
Connor is starting to run out of places in town where he can be alone without someone in his family finding him. Zoe is a little too perceptive and his mother has eyes everywhere. Itâs kind of creepy and Connorâs sick of it.
Still, theyâve yet to find him at the old elementary school playground so far. Maybe itâs because the playground is hidden behind the school and is surrounded on two sides by tall trees. Or just because itâs in the rundown part of town, abandoned until the town can think of something better to do with a building almost as old as the town itself.
Connor is pretty sure people have broken into the school before. There are definitely serious drug deals that take place under the biggest tree on the edge of the fields. But mostly itâs just empty.
Connorâs been here before to smoke. Yeah, heâs been the creepy teenager smoking on the swingset at three in the morning before. Who the fuck cares, no one comes by here to get him in trouble. But more often then not, he just comes here to think.
He sits on a swing and holds onto the rusting chains and just stares at his knees and thinks. Or dissociates. Or both. He canât tell anymore.
Itâs been a fucking day. He definitely hadnât planned getting yelled at by Evan Hansen into his schedule.
For one, he didnât think Evan had it in him. For another⊠Connor doesnât actually know what heâd been expecting when he sat down in the computer lab instead of going to last period. Maybe that one thing in his life would be easy. He could apologize to Evan or something and they could maybe slowly make it seem like they were drifting apart or something.
Connor doesnât know how friends work. Itâs been years since he had a real one.
And Evan isnât even a real one.
He walks the swing in circles, twisting the chains together until he canât twist anymore, then lifts his feet from the ground. He lets his toes drag along the ground as he spins in slow circles, the chains groaning as they untwist.
He can still hear Evanâs voice in his mind, shouting at him.
I just jumped out of a fucking tree!
He tried to backtrack so quickly. Take back the truth heâd released to the world. But Connor saw it. There had been a moment of clarity.
That was Evan Hansen.
That singular moment of honesty says more about Evan Hansen more than he will ever say about himself. Heâs awkward, anxious to a fault, and suicidal. He looks at the world and he doesnât see a future. He sees in grays and muddled tones and doesnât see something worth fighting for.
Or maybe thatâs just Connor projecting.
The swing dips a little as it stops untwisting, moving back and forth with the remaining momentum. Sometimes, sitting on these swings, he feels like a little kid. Mostly he just feels out of place.
But itâs better than home. Home, where he has no bedroom door. Home, where his mom is desperate for him to get better but doesnât know how to help. Home, where his father doesnât want to face the facts or him. Home, where his sister has given up.
Home, which is a building and not much more.
Connor closes his eyes and rests his head against the old chain. Childhood doesnât feel real anymore. Itâs hard to believe he was a little kid. That he was happy. That he constantly didnât feel like shit.
His entire life has been overshadowed and stained by his present. He wishes heâd been able to wipe it outâ that heâd been able to wipe him out.
His phone buzzes in his pocket. Only twice. A text.
His other only calls. She leaves frantic voicemails and voicemails with forced cheer. Nothing else.
No one else contacts him.
Connor sighs and opens his eyes. The sky is starting to get dark already. As it gets closer to winter, night comes faster and god he canât wait for the darkness to just swallow him whole.
Dramatic depressing stuff like that.
His phone buzzes in his pocket again. He leans away from the chain to pull his phone from his pocket. He squints at the overly bright screen as his eyes adjust.
From: (522) 114-8119 To: Connor    Im s o soryr I shoulnd t have  yelled a t you or said thos e things    And IM s orry that I ran out and tha t happend a dn
Connor stares at the screen. A few moments later, he gets another text.
From: (522) 114-8119 To: Connor    Cna  we talk tomorro w    After sc hool computer lba    IMs or y I can ttype righ tnow
Connor hesitates, fingers hovering over the screen. Part of him forgot he gave Evan his number. Part of him thought Evan would never try to contact him ever again.
From: Connor To: (522) 144-8119    its fine    and ok    ill see you there
â«·»â
Connor slams the front door to announce that heâs home. He doesnât bother actually using his voice, heâs tired and ready to just lay in bed and stop existing for a while.
âDonât slam the door,â his father says from where heâs sitting on the couch, reading a newspaper.
Connor rolls his eyes. There are only so many doors he can slam in this house nowadays. Heâs going to take advantage of what he can get.
His mom leans out from the kitchen, a smile plastered onto her face. She looks tired, even though sheâs trying not to. Connor knows better. As the cause of most of her stress and frustration, he absolutely knows better. âHow was your first day back, sweetie?â she asks. And sheâs trying to be so excited for him.
Cynthia Murphy is attempting to hold her household together with pure faked optimism alone. She is the only positive force in the family, but itâs wrong and plastic.
Connor shrugs and makes his way toward the stairs.
âAnswer your mother,â Larry says. Sort of mutters, sort of uninterested sounding, sort of irritating.
Connor stops on the bottom stair with his hand on the railing and turns to look at his mom. âIt was whatever.â
âIs that all?â She twists a dishrag in her hands.
He sighs. She probably deserves more than that. âIt was boring. Missed a lot. Iâve got homework. Probably going to fail out of math. Lunch is still shitââ
âLanguage,â Larry mutters.
âAnd the guidance counselor only talked to me for seventeen minutes this time.â Connor glances to his mom. âSo yeah. It was okay.â
Cynthia smiles again, a little less forced. âIâm glad. Iâll call you for dinner, see what you can get done, okay?â
Connor nods.
Heâd rather not deal with dinner.
â«·»â
âHowâs Evan?â is this first question Cynthia asks when Connor sits down for dinner and puts half a spoonful of tonightâs vegetable of the day on his plate.
âHeâs fine,â Connor mutters. He needs to end this conversation as fast as humanly possible.
âThatâs wonderful, he seems like a nice boy.â
Larry hums in agreement and Connor tries not to grimace. Zoe just looks bored.
âHeâsâŠcool.â Maybe vague compliments will work until his mom gets tired of this line of questioning.
âYouâve never told us about Evan,â she muses. âYou arenât even friends on Facebook!â
Connorâs brain goes into panic mode because oh shit. Of course Cynthia checked Facebook, thatâs possibly one of the most predictable things sheâs ever done. Whichâ fuck, Connor definitely shouldâve seen this coming.
âPeople donât use Facebook anymore, Mom,â Zoe says flatly, staring down at her plate.
Connor glances at her and then does a double take, gesturing to her. âThat.â
Cynthia purses her lips. âI still use it.â
Zoe flicks her gaze to Connor before looking back to their mom. âYou know what I mean.â
âI can ask him if he has one if you want me to,â Connor says, because if this conversation doesnât end heâs going to come up with some sort of escape plan and he does not have a good track record with those.
Cynthia smiles and, god, does Connor feel guilty. This better be worth it in the long run.
Connor goes to school like he doesnât have to drag himself out of bed and force himself into the car. He pretends he doesnât hate Zoeâs music choices or notice that she stops more suddenly than she has to. He just grits his teeth and focuses on the cookie cutter houses theyâre passing.
He hates the suburbs.
âI have rehearsal today,â Zoe says when she parks the car. âFigure out how to get home or wait.â
Connor rolls his eyes and slams the door harder than he knows he has to. âIâll walk,â he grumbles.
The thing about high school is that itâs boringly and horribly constant. Itâs also just fucking awful, but itâs mind numbing and dull. Even if Connor actually tried, and he canât exactly remember the last time he did, he would not be having a good time.
Heâs pretty sure the only people who have a good time in high school are the people whose lives will only go downhill from here and the people who are fucking lying to themselves.
The bells are piercing and make him grimace and the awful rotating yet standard schedule is one of the worst things to ever happen to him. He hates seeing the same people in the same space every single day. He can hear Alana Beck talking his ear off about the factory system and how the American education system creates people who follows rules more than anything else as she conformed to the system and followed all the rules back when they were sophomores in a boring, standard english class that left Connor feeling tired and bored.
He stalks down the hallway, glaring whenever anyone gets too close. One of the few perks of being known as the kid who may actually try to kill someone. People leave him the fuck alone.
The last time he really did homework was the end of sophomore year. All he has to do is not fail. And that doesnât require doing homework.
If Connor tried, he could probably be a half decent student. But Zoe tries hard enough for the both of them and he would rather just get high.
At this point, his biggest problem in school is staying conscious through the whole thing.
He spends lunch in the library, hiding in a back corner where no one ever goes and pulls a random book off the shelves and reads about someone heâs never heard of until the bell rings and he forces himself to go back to a class that makes his eyes glaze over as people discuss readings that he absolutely did not do.
Connor finds himself getting almost anxious as the end of the day nears. Heâs not sure why, sure Evan wants to talk, but it canât be that bad. Evan holds the cards at the moment, but theyâre both in this mess together. The worst Connor can think of is Evan bringing Kleinman and Kleinman beingâŠhimself.
Connor stalls in his last class for a few minutes while everyone clears out. His teacher ignores him to talk to a student that actually tries and once the hallways have cleared a bit, Connor gets up and takes the long way to the computer lab.
The long way is away from the school entrance, meaning the hallways are almost empty aside from a few laggers. No one wants to spend any more time in this hellhole than necessary. With itâs annoying posters and rows and rows of never ending lockers that no one ever uses. Theyâre pointless, just there for show and storing things kids arenât supposed to have on school grounds.
When Connor pushes open the door to the computer lab, Evan Hansen is awkwardly standing in the middle of the room, gripping the straps of his backpack in his hands.
Connor raises his eyebrows at him. âHey.â
Evan takes a shaky breath. âH-hi.â
âSo.â Connor drops his back on the floor and kicks it closer to one of the tables. âYou wanted to talk.â
âI-I wanted to apologize,â Evan says quickly, âfor yesterday because I didnât mean toâ I shouldnât have assumed or, like, implied that you were, I mean, that you wanted toââ He shakes his head. âThat you were. Using me? That wasâ I wasâŠconfused byâ confused because of, of the timing but that doesnât mean it wasâŠokay.â
Connor crosses his arms. âYeah, well, if I kill myself itâs not going to be fucking performance art.â
Evan winces.
âIf my family is going to mourn something theyâre going to mourn actual me, not the me some stranger makes up because my mom thinks weâre buddies or something even though we arenât even friends on Facebook.â
Evan frowns. âF-facebook?â
Connor waves a hand. âNever mind. The point is, I was using you. Just notâŠlike that. I am using you. Currently. Present tense. IfâŠyouâre still in?â He reaches into his pocket and pulls out another twenty dollar bill. He holds it out to Evan.
Evan stares at it. âY-you still want toâŠto do this?â
âI have three choices,â Connor says. âOne: we keep doing this and then slowly break it off. Two: we fake a big fight and never speak to each other ever again. Or three: I tell my parents it was a lie. Havenât thought that one through yet.â
Evan chews on his bottom lip. âOkay.â
Connor raises an eyebrow. âYouâre in?â
Evan nods.
âGood.â He walks over to Evan and shoves the money into his hand. He yanks his hand away and shoves it in his pocket before Evan can tell itâs shaking.
âW-whyâ?â
âItâs been a week,â Connor explains. âThereâs your twenty. We agreed to that.â
Evan stares at the bill in the palm of his hand. âUmâŠright. Right. Do we,â he glances up at Connor, âare thereâŠother rules? Or like? A plan or are we justâŠ?â
âWinging it?â Connor suggests.
Evan makes a face. âLetâsâ can we not do that? That sounds like a bad idea.â
âOkay fine. Rule number one, we donât tell anyone else about this.â Connor gestures between the two of them. âIf no one else knows, itâs easier to keep it a secret.â
Evan grimaces. âJ-Jared will know.â
âWhat?â
âHeâ Jared can always tell when Iâm lying, heâs-heâs really good at it. ItâsâŠkind of scary, actually.â
Connor scowls. âSeriously? Are you that bad a liar?â
Evan shakes his head quickly. âWeâve just known each otherâ itâs been so long he can justâŠtell.â
Connor sighs. âOkay then. Can we trust Jared?â
âI wouldnât say that.â
âWeâre fucked.â
âI-I thinkâŠâ Evan trails off.
âYou think what?â Connor prompts.
Evan takes a breath. âI thinkâŠif we tell him an-and explain everything, we have a better chance of him keeping it a secret. Because then heâ heâs included in it or something? Since heâll figure it out anyway it might just be best toâŠto tell him right away.â
If someone has to know, Connor would not have chosen Jared Kleinman to be that person. But if he has to do itâŠ
âWhatever,â Connor decides. âWe swear him to secrecy and threaten to hurt him if he tells anyone.â
Evan tugs on his shirt. âUmâŠyeah th-thatâ okay.â
Connor rolls his eyes. âI wonât actually hurt him.â
âI knew that,â Evan mutters.
âWe can come up with other rules on the fly,â Connor offers.
Evan opens his mouth and then closes it quickly.
âWhat?â
âIâŠâ He shakes his head. âItâs nothing.â
Connor groans. âItâs not nothing! Just tell me!â
âI donât know anything about you!â Evan bursts out. âH-how do weâ? Weâre supposed to be best friends? How long have we been friends? What do we do when we hang out? What if people ask us questions?!â
Those are good points that Connor hadnât considered because heâs been doing this on impulse. Obviously, Evan has thought this through a bit more. Connor runs a hand through his hair. âAre you free right now?â
âN-not right now,â Evan stutters. âLater tonight?â
âYou still have my phone number?â Connor asks instead.
Evan nods.
âText me when youâre free, we can figure stuff out then.â Connor moves to leave. âIfâŠyouâre cool with that?â
âFine!â Evan says quickly.
Connor eyes him before shrugging and turning away. âOkay. Iâll see you later then.â
âYeahâŠs-see youâ
â«·»â
Connor walks home from school, because Zoe is at rehearsal for another hour and heâs a.) not hanging around school for that long and b.) not spending more time in the car with her than necessary. It takes a while and his mom is still somehow worried about him crossing a highway, but he doesnât care. The walk is strangely nice. Kind of calming and gives him some time to think. Mostly about Evan Hansen.
Knowing his mother, theyâre going to need a hell of a backstory. She likes to dig until she hits rock bottom. And then she pulls out a pick ax and starts swinging.
âIâm home!â he shouts as he throws open the front door. He closes it and waits for the usual âhow was school, honey?â to come from the kitchen before he starts making his way up the stairs.
âIt was fine,â he answers. âDoing homework.â
Connor didnât think either of them believed that, but whatever. He threw his bag onto the floor and kicked off his shoes before flopping onto the bed.
Now he just has to wait for Evan.
â«·»â
Connor wakes up with a jerk when his phone starts buzzing repeatedly. He rolls onto his back and pulls his phone out of his pocket, squinting at the screen as his heart tries to calm down.
From: (522) 114-8119 To: Connor    Im hom e    Sorry if htis is a bad item for you
Connor changes the contact name from the number to Evanâs name before he responds.
From: Connor To: Evan    its fine im not doing anything    can i come over yours?
Connor glances around his room, eyes settling on the doorframe. They definitely canât do this here. He hopes Evan is cool with them sitting in an abandoned playground if all else fails.
From: Evan To: Connor    Thats fine!!!    You need my address don t you that would probably be helplfu
He keeps laying in bed until Evanâs sent the address and Connor has found it on Google Maps. He can walk, itâs not too bad.
The world spins a little bit when he stands up from his bed, swaying and darkening as the blood rushes from his head.
Connor stumbles out of his room and down the stairs, figuring he probably doesnât need to bring anything with him to Evanâs. All theyâre going to do is talk.
He glances at the time. Hopefully his mom doesnât care if he skips dinner tonight.
Connor takes a pit stop in the kitchen and steals an apple from the bowl on the island on his way to the front door.
âDinner is soon,â Zoe says pointedly from where sheâs leaning against the counters.
Connor ignores her. âIâm going over Evanâs,â he says to Cynthia.
She looks up from the frying pan in surprise. âYou are?â
He shrugs and takes a bite of the apple. âYeah weâre going toâŠâ he shouldâve thought of an excuse earlier, âplay a video game. Or something.â
Cynthia claps her hands together. âThatâs great! Have fun and let me know when you get there and when youâre on your way back, okay?â She presses a kiss to Connorâs cheek. âAnd make sure you eat!â
âI will,â Connor mumbles.
âYou donât even know him,â Zoe mutters.
Fuck. He shouldâve known Zoe backing him up last night was an outlier. Connor glares at her and flips her off.
âZoe, be nice,â Cynthia says firmly. âText me when you get there, Connor.â
He nods and leaves before Zoe can make any more commentary. He can only hope she doesnât press it while he isnât there.
Connor eats his apple as he follows the directions on his phone. Evanâs house isnât too far, but itâs already starting to get darker and this town is shit, so the streets arenât exactly well lit.
He stands on a street corner and watches a truck go by with complete disregard for a stop sign before he crosses the street and turns onto Evanâs road.
Connor pauses outside the house that matches the number and description Evan gave. He sends a quick text as he walks up the walkway to the front door.
From: Connor To: Evan    outside what i think is your house    gonna knock
Connor knocks once before the door swings open. He blinks in surprise as Evan stares at him.
Connor clears his throat. âHeyâŠcan I come in?â
Evan steps out of the way. âY-yeah of course you canâ just. Yeah, take off your shoes here thatâs⊠You can do that.â
Connor steps inside and takes off his boots as Evan closes and locks the door. âParents home?â he asks.
Evan shakes his head. âNo my momâsâ sheâs working late tonight. Long night.â
âDad?â Connor asks absentmindedly as he drops his boots by Evanâs shoes.
He looks up when Evan doesnât answer.
Evan is staring at the floor with his eyebrows furrowed, picking at his cast.
âOh shit, I didnât meanââ
âI-itâs fine,â Evan interrupts. âHeâs not here. Itâs justâ just me and my mom.â Evan gestures down the hallway. âLetâs justâ follow me.â
He leads Connor into a kitchen, smaller and older than the one in the Murphy household. Thereâs a twenty dollar bill sitting on the table and a pile of dirty dishes in the sink.
âI-I donât have anyââ Evan shakes his head. âI have money to order pizza ifâŠyou want.â
âMaybe in a bit.â Connor leans against the counter. âI uhâŠnever apologized for taking that letter, did I?â
Evan laughs awkwardly. âN-not realâ I mean itâs fine! Itâs fine itâs, itâs not a big deal itâs justâŠâ
âWhat?â Connor asks slowly. âWhat was it?â
Evan takes a deep breath and tugs on the hem of his shirt. âI-it was an assignment forâ for therapy.â Â Â
Connor raises his eyebrows. âYou go to therapy?â
âYeah? I, um, I have⊠severe anxiety?â Evan gestures to himself. âAnd depression but thatâs kind ofâ to a lesser extent usually? But yeah. Itâs umâŠthe letterâ itâs supposed to make me more positive about my day? Uh, dear Evan Hansen, todayâs going t-to be a good day and hereâs whyâŠâ He trails off and glances to the sink.
Connor hesitates before he says his next thought. âMy parents⊠They thought it was a my suicide note.â Â
Evan closes his eyes tightly and opens them. âUh yeah well, I-I mean itâsâŠitâs supposed to be a positive thing but itâsâ itâs almost never a good day? In fact itâs usually a very bad day and the first day of school was aâ it wasnâtâŠThere wasnât much positive in it. And Zoe, Iâ The letter wasâ It wasnât meant for you it was for this assignment. And Zoe isâ after you, you know.â Evan gestures to Connor and Connor tries not to grimace.
âZoe saw me and-and she talked to me and sheâsâ Ihavethisreallysillycrushonher which is silly because I donât even know her! The letter says I donât even know her cause I donât, sheâs justâ sheâs a girl whoâs pretty and nice and she smiles a lot and she doesnât seem bothered by anything.â Connor raises his eyebrows. âShe seems to have herself figured out and thatâsâ sheâs just a girl I see sometimes and I guess thatâsââ
Evan ducks his head. âShe saw me and she helped me up. That doesnât happen. Notâ not to me.â
Connor looks away. There are a lot of things to process in that and his mind doesnât want to process any of them. His eyes land on the money on the table.
âWhat kind of pizza do you like?â Connor asks.
âW-what?â
Connor steps forward and picks up the bill. âPizza,â he repeats. âWhat do you want? Iâll make the call.â
Evan blinks a few times. âUhâŠcheese is fine?ïżœïżœïżœ
âCool.â He pulls out his phone. âLetâs see how much food we can get for twenty bucks.â
Evan gives him a weak smile. âO-okay.â
Connor paces around the kitchen as he places the order at the pizza place. There are places in town where you can order online, but their sauce isnât as good and their breadsticks are shitty. Once heâs hung up, he sits down at the table and gestures for Evan to do the same.
âYou wanted to figure things out, right?â Connor asks, tapping his fingers on the table.
Evan nods.
âLetâs do this then.â
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douxie-casperanâ:
Douxie waits patiently by resting his chain on his bridged fingers waiting for them to speak again without prodding for an answer carefully watching for any expression changes or any little give aways that might help him out aside from the clearly growing confusion.
The question catches him off guard somewhat though in part for sounding so damn archaic.Â
âOn the magical front if they have their own communities will have some form of check in even if might have to travel a fair bit, more than a few completely off the radar no idea how they manage if something goes after them, got a few that band together of like minded though that tends to be covens then you get the lone wolves running round too. If youâre lucky and in trouble you find one of them, if not well best to hope you had a good run if canât shake off the problem. Nobody can be everywhere at once after all and itâs not as easy to move around as it used to be.â
As much as he truly adores travelling with the constant need for documents and harder borders suck half the fun out of it. That and even those with the spirit embedded in their soul have to stay put in one place for a while though admittedly this is incredibly unique circumstances that do not involve feeling homesick.
âEverythings pretty fragmented these days and most people could expect to run into would be a changeling but that all caught fire recently so even thatâs out too now⊠The survivors rightly fled hoping the underground would accept them,â he says shrugging while leaning back into his chair causing the front legs to lift just a bit.
âI doubt thereâs a single person not at this very table that believes it ever existed or could making the mythical and whatnot closest thing to living ghosts you can get and far more focused on their own problems things are pretty divorced and have been a long time. Still there tho if you know where to look, just very aware of what happens if the wrong person finds out and the older ones carry the scars of being caught.âÂ
The chair taps to the ground again upon hearing the question and he gestures towards his face in general.
âMmn, the eyes mostly and,â then to Skraelâs chin.
âThat, heâs got the same bit too distinctive not to notice. Seen other facial markings and tattoos sure but never exactly the same. Iâll be perfectly honest Iâve never asked about it just seemed kinda rude to almost? Not everyone is okay with getting these things pointed to.â
âI... am not sure I understand. So the magic users are either alone by choice or a part of a group - that much is clear - but how are the responsibilities divided when it comes to looking after people who does not use magic? How are they protected from magical threats?â
He frowns slightly.
âWould a group of magic users journey from place to place, perhaps, to serve as needed?â
That sounds familiar enough, much like Tak, Maurgh and Skrael did, although each journey alone, moving from one territory to another so that no tribe are completely without guidance or protection.
âSurely, even if people were unaware of magic, those who wield it would not abandon them? By the way you speak, it sounds like those affiliated with magic are... cautious. But who would dare to capture them and give them scars?â He is quiet for a moment, recalling some tribesmen who feared magic and the result of their actions - and he sighs. âNevermind, I can imagine.â
When the other indicates to his chin, he touches the black line automatically. It has to be a coincidence.
âWhere I come from the few of us who uses magic gets a mark that is unique to them alone. It indicates a skill of theirs that they excel at above all else, and that there is none better.â A light shrug. âI suppose the design isnât so unique that nobody else might have thought of it.â But he looks doubtful as he says it. Somebody with that mark and blue eyes? Where he comes from, he is the only one with that eye color, apart from Maurgh. If the line reminds the stranger of somebody he knows, there might be other indications.
âAre there... other similarities?â
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Thereâs not enough fanfics of those two, so I wrote one
Sorry in advance, this is gonna be longer than I thought. But please read :)
So I recently re-watched The Shannara Chronicles because itâs coming back soon and I needed to remind myself why I love it so much. The landscapes, the music, the plot, the relationships... mostly relationships. And I donât mean only romantic relationships.
Iâm a sucker for any kind of family relations. I love the dynamic between the royal family and I remember, watching the pilot for the first time, I cried when Willâs mom was dying even if I had no freakinâ idea who the hell those people were at the time. (I never read the books - but Iâm going to)
But what really got to me was the relationship between Amberle and Ander (the show literally starts with those two, how cool is that?) Itâs such a beautiful and strong bond. You can say he stepped into a father figure mode when Aine died, heâs protective but he also is very supportive and lets Amberle do her own thing. And I love the banter. Itâs so sad that he didnât get to say goodbye to her at the end but they were beautifully written and shown at the beginning (except the end of ep 4 when the trio is leaving, after the famous line âLoverboy can fill you inâ - Amberle comes to Ander and hugs him but camera cuts that because Allanon and Willâs conversation is âmore importantâ)
So as I usually do, I decided to check out fanfics (fanfiction.net and AO3). And you know what I found? NOTHING. I mean, there is one short oneshot and a few bits here and there in other fanfics but basically their tag is one empty hole. Not good.
So i wrote one myself. And I hope youâll like it. If not, Iâll just leave it here, maybe someone someday finds it xD
 So anyways, this is a little bit of an AU, I changed the ending of the season (spoiler alert) - Amberle didnât become a tree. Instead she saved the Ellcrys without sacrificing herself. So it starts when the battle is over, Amberle, Allanon and Will and in the Sanctuary and Ander comes there. I just wanted to showcase how deep this bond can possibly go, I used few little headcanons I had, just wanted to show what they are to each other andwhat they mean to each other. Itâs my first fanfic so helpful criticism and tips are welcome. So... enjoy :)Â
An Useperatable Duo
With a loud cracking noise, door to the Sanctuary opened. Ander stepped inside, his breath heavy but his posture steady. His eyes searched quickly the area, part of him still expecting one of Dagda Mor's soldiers to jump at him from the corner. But they stopped at the sight of a long wave of brown hair and big green eyes now glued to him.
âAmberle..â he whispers but in the quiet of the Sanctuary it sounds like a scream. She smiles, taking few steps his way. And the next second he's holding her in his arms, crying, his face hidden in her long locks. Amberle is crying too, holding onto him desperately.
âUncle Ander....â she weeps and he can't help but smile at the words. When Amberle was born, he was barely a teenager. He remembered taking her to his arms for the first time. She was crying loudly and noone could calm her down, but the moment he took her from Aine â she fell silent. Big green eyes met his and that was the moment his heart was stolen by her. And now, after this long and dangerous adventure, when her puffy eyes met his again and he washed away her tears with his thumb, leaving his hand on her cheek a little longer â it felt like that first time again. His niece, the light in his life and a beacon of hope was right here, with him and it felt like everything is right in the world again.
âThere were moments I thought I'll never see you again, baby girlâ he says, using her childhood nickname he gave her so long ago. âI'm glad that you're ok.â
âI was worried about you too. Especially after seeing the battlefield. And... Alanon told me about Grandpa...â she adds after a moment, her voice starting to crack. â...and Arion...â
âHey, hey shh....â he whispers, bringing her closer and kissing her forehead. âI know, I know. It hurts. But they died doing what they were born to do â defending our kingdom. And they were very proud of you. We all are.â
She smiles and then hugs him again. âI'm proud of you too, Uncle Ander. I always new the crown would suit youâ
âI'm trying to do my best. Nowâ he lets her go but leaves a hand on her shoulder, and looking at Alanon and Will standing few feet away, asks âDo you mind telling me what the hell happened here?â
***
After such a large battle, it surprised Amberle that it was so quiet everywhere now. Like nothing ever happened. She was in her chambers, lying on her bed, her eyes locked on the celling. She was still processing everything. It felt good to be finally home, but at the same time... She was worried about Eretria. Amberle knew she wanted them to go but still the fact that they left her there was making her feel sick and guilty. She was worried about Will, who's powers were growing stronger and he had a lot to learn, especially considering what the Elvestones could do to a person using them. And she was worried about Ander, who rised to power under hard and devastating circumstances and even tho she always knew he would make a great king, she also knew he didn't feel ready. He had a big shoes to fill after Eventine, her father Aine and Arion, the Kingdom will need his help and guidance and she's going to stand beside him every step of the way.
Because there's just the two of them now. From the entire Ellesedil bloodline, they were the only ones standing.
When she thinks about it, it was always just the two of them. The unseperatable duo. Even when her father Aine was still alive, little princess would spend hours with her youngest uncle â playing in the gardens or horseriding in the woods â while her father attended all kinds of royal meetings. When Aine died, she suddenly started to feel alone. Her father was gone, her grandfather was too busy to properly take care of her, Uncle Arion seemed not to care at all, and Ander... he stepped back, became very closed and sad all the time, fell into alcohol addiction. But even as a little girl she knew she can't loose him too.
 The night after Aine's funeral she couldn't sleep. She wandered through the empty, silent halls barefoot, only in her nightgown and before she knew it she found herself at the door to Sanctuary. There was noone around â the King dissmissed the guards for that one night, to give his family a moment of privacy. Young Amberle hesitated for a momemt and then, standing on her tiptoes, she opened the door. It was quiet and dark inside, the only light provided by the full moon. A little colder too but she didn't mind. But the place wasn't empty. She noticed Uncle Ander sitting on one of the Tree's big roots... but he didn't seem to notice her at all, starring at nothing with teary eyes, an empty little bottle in his hand. Her little heart acked for him, she knew that Aine's death hit him the hardest, besides her of course. So without even thinking she came closer to him, took the bottle out of his hand and climbed on his lap, putting her little arms around his waist. When she layed her head on his chest she felt him tense a little but then he relaxed again and ambraced her with as much force as she did.
âYou can't sleep either, huh baby girl?â he whispered to her while putting a kiss on top of her head.
âI miss Dad tooâ she whispered back and burried her face in the crook of his neck. âAnd I don't want to be alone. Can I stay with you, uncle Ander? And we will miss him together.â
She felt his arms tighten around her and for a moment he was silent. But then he spoke. âI have a better idea. Why don't we take you to your room and we'll both try to get some sleep huh?â
She raised her head and looked at him. âAnd you're gonna stay?â
âOf course I'm gonna stay. In fact...â He looked her straight in the eyes and smiled. âI'm not gonna leave you Amberle, ok? Never. I promise.â
***
âYou can't sleep either, huh baby girl?â
Those words got her back from her thoughts when Ander opened the door to her room.
âYou caught me. How did you know?â
âBecause I know youâ he replied as he came closer and sat down at the edge of her bed. She noticed a crown on his head â he probably just got back from some meeting or something â and her head fell down, because deaths of her grandfather and uncle hit her again. That's why he's wearing it now even if he never wanted to she thinks. Because they are gone so he has to. Then she felt Ander's fingers under her chin and now she's looking into his blue eyes. âI miss them tooâ he says and she smiles sadly, surprised at how well he knows her, almost like he's reading her mind, knowing exactly what she was thinking about just seconds ago.
âI promised Grandpa I will come back to himâ she says, feeling her throat tightens. âAnd you did.â Ander replies as he puts a hand on her cheek and washes away some tears she didn't even realised had escaped. âHe never doubted in you. Not even for a second.â
And now she feels like she can't breathe, she's crying openly, hidden in her uncle's protective hold. He's rocking her back and forth and after couple minutes that felt for her like eternity she's calm again and she can breathe again. âGet some sleep, Amberleâ he says as he lays her back down on the bed a covers her with a blanket. She instantly grabs his hand. âStay.â
âOf course I'm gonna stay.â he replies and then kisses her forehead. âI'm never gonna leave you, remember?â
An useperatable duo. Few years ago she had lost her father, but it's almost like she gained another one. Ander is her best friend, partner in crime, and like an older brother sometimes but he also knows how to step into a role of a father when he needs to. And that's what she loved about him the most.
âI love you, Uncle Ander.â she whispers, as she drifts into sleep. And just before she falls asleep completely she hears him say âI love you too, baby girl.â
I donât own âThe Shannara Chroniclesâ. I wish I could, so this one could end up on screen tho. xD And congrats to those who got all the way down here. Sorry it was so long.
#the shannara chronicles#amberle elessedil#ander elessedil#amberle and ander#ander and amberle#ander x amberle#amberle x ander#uncle ander#uncle!ander#fluffy#fanfic#oneshot
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When youâre feeling worthless and they try to cheer you up
I did alter this just a tad to keep it from becoming redundant. Â I hope you donât mind. Â If you want me to rewrite it let me know!
Suho:
Junmyeon is a softie at heart, to be honest. Â Heâs such a gentle soul. Â Seeing you so stressed over a project and just so frustrated with both your work and yourself makes him really sad. Â He doesnât want you to ever feel like youâre worthless. Â Thatâs the absolute LAST thing he wants. Â I see him as the type to make you get up and walk away from your project. Â Heâll take you to lunch or for ice cream, then a peaceful walk through the shopping district. Â Heâll distract you with cute plush toys and by making you try on literally everything that he deems cute. Â By the time you both get back home, your shoulders are loose and the tension between your eyebrows is gone. Â Instead, you feel a little more revitalized. Â Junmyeon would kiss your temple and tell you not to stress so much. Â âIf you start feeling that way about yourself again, just remember to get up and walk away. Â Itâs better to clear your mind and come back refreshed than to sit there and beat yourself up. Â I canât have my jagi thinking so poorly of herself, okay?â
Xiumin:
Minseok strikes me as someone who powers through tough times, but in a calm manner. Â So say youâve been trying to write this stupid essay for the past few hours and thereâs still nothing but a blinking cursor on the screen. Â Youâre super frustrated and you just want to throw your hands in the air and give up. Â Minseok is probably going to bring you some water, rub your shoulders a bit, and tell you itâs okay. Â If you start berating yourself by saying youâre stupid or something, Minseok is going to turn your chair around and firmly tell you to stop. Â âJust breatheâ heâll say. Â When youâve calmed down a bit, heâll have you explain the essay to him. Â Heâll walk you through it in such a way that by the time you two are done talking, youâll probably have a good, general idea of what you want to say. Â I can totally see him sitting beside you the whole time, too. Â Like, he wonât leave until youâre finished. Â âSee, baby? Â I told you it wasnât impossible. Â You just have to remember to breathe and organize your thoughts. Â Besides, Iâm always here if you need someone to bounce ideas off of.â (cue affectionate bop to your nose)
Lay:Â
This guy knows what it's like to struggle through things. Â He understands how difficult it can be at times to stumble and fail consistently and just generally feel like a failure. Â But Yixingâs philosophy is to try, try again. Â So if you just couldnât get your feet to cooperate with your brain for the choreography youâre trying desperately to master, heâll probably stop you and make you sit down for a breather. Â âHydrate, baobeiâ heâd say, pushing a water bottle into your hands before reaching out to massage your calves lightly. Â Once your breathing was under control again, heâd have you stand up and together you would both go through the choreo at a slow pace, section by section. Â Gradually heâd speed things up, pausing only to adjust you here and there, until you are finally able to get through the movements with no mistakes. Â âSee! Â Itâs not so bad! Â Donât worry about not grasping things right away. Â Sometimes we just need to take our time and learn things slowly before we can perfect them. Â Thereâs nothing wrong with that. Â As long as you put your heart into, everything will work out in the end.â
Baekhyun:
This one is known to be critical of himself. Â Heâll understand your frustrations with your job. Â I mean, you tried your absolute hardest to get that promotion. Â Youâve been slaving over your work for months now trying to prove yourself, all so that in the end the big wigs on top could just hand over something you rightly deserved to some fresh faced newbie. Â What was so wrong with your work product that you didnât deserve that job title? Â Youâve been there for so long, working so diligently, how did you not get it? Â Was it not good enough? Â Were YOU not good enough? Â Was this their subtle way of telling you that youâd never advance forward? Â Baekhyun would want to stop your train of thought before it got too far ahead, because none of this was true. Â He knows you work hard and he knows all the pressure you place on yourself. Â It honestly breaks his heart to see you ragging on yourself, so he does the only thing he can: he makes you laugh. Â Only when youâre laying on the ground in stitches, little giggles falling from your lips, does he feel satisfied. Â âListen, jagiyah, thereâs nothing wrong with you or you work. Â They just felt that whoever that person was could do a better job. Â Itâs their loss for not choosing someone as dedicated as you. Â There will be other opportunities, I promise. Â Just donât blame yourself for something thatâs not really in your control, okay?â
Chen:
Jongdae is a beagle, but heâs the calmest of the beagles. Â Heâll patiently listen to you fuss over how you canât get this painting just right. Â How you have no idea if youâll ever be able to finish it and itâs the most simple painting youâve ever done, so why is it so hard to pick up the brush and keep going? Â It doesnât matter what color you throw on it, it looks awful in your opinion. Â Of course, this bub, doesnât agree. Â He thinks it looks amazing, but he understands as an artist how critical we can be of ourselves. Â Heâll come up behind you and hug you tightly, resting his chin on your shoulder and swaying you back and forth. Â Heâll give you suggestions like, maybe throw some yellow in there or maybe neon pink! Â This will make you laugh and heâll whine about how he was serious, but ultimately heâs just happy to see a smile on your face instead of the hardcore scowl you were just sporting. Â âYou know, we could just throw random paint colors at the canvas and make like a million bucks. Â I mean if a picture with a single line can go for four million, then certainly our masterpiece will sell for more! Â Or maybe you just need a new muse! Â How about me? Â Naked?â Â (cue eyebrow wiggles and then the subsequent whines as you fling paint at him)
Chanyeol:
Talk about a puppy! Â Chanyeol is going to be so sad if he comes home and sees you crying on the couch out of frustration. Â Youâve been giving this semester your all, honest to god you have been. Â Things just werenât going your way. Â The teachers sucked, the coursework was incredibly difficult, and your team mates shoved most of the major project work on your shoulders. Â Midterms are coming up and you just canât breathe right now. Â This giant is going to drop all his things at the door and scoop you up to sit on his lap. Â Whispered nothings fill your ears as well as the sound of his steady heartbeat. Â Heâll ask you to tell him whatâs wrong and then proceed to tell you everything will be fine. Â Youâre so smart and so much stronger than you think you are. Â Eventually youâre going to look back at this semester and just smile because you know you got through it with your head held high. Â Heâll tell you to stand up to your classmates and shove their work back on them firmly, too. Â âDo you want me to write the email, babe? Â Iâll do it? Â Or do you want me to have an actual conversation with them? Â Cuz I will! Â I definitely will! Â No one makes my baby cry!â Â *heâll be pouty if you tell him heâs really not that threatening* **be sure to give him a kiss, tho...you know as thanks**
D.O:
Kyungsoo is the silent observer.  He probably knows you better than you know yourself.  Heâll notice immediately if youâre overly stressed or beating yourself up over something.  Kyungsoo reminds me of the pillar types.  He doesnât have to say much or really even do much to remind you heâs there.  He just is.  His very presence is a calming, soothing force.  You have deadlines coming up and your editor is on your ass about the new chapter, but no matter what  you do, your writerâs block just wonât go away.  Youâve been writing and re-writing the same page for days now.  You hate all your ideas.  Honestly, you feel like youâve done everything you can (inclusive of offing characters just for something write about), but youâre stuck.  You HAVE to get this chapter out, but right now you just feel like the biggest failure.  Why did you even become an author to begin with?  Are you even that good?  Do people even really like your work?  How can they when you suck this much?  Kyungsoo is going to have absolutely none of that.  Heâll be a lot like Junmyeon, in the sense that heâs going to force you to get up and walk away from your work desk.  Heâll sit you down in the kitchen and make you a meal, being sure that you actually eat everything on your plate and maybe even a second helping.  This guy wants you to be as healthy as possible.  Thatâs whatâs important.  Then heâll probably sit you down and have you talk through your ideas.  The more you talk and the more you bounce ideas off him, the clearer your plot becomes.  You rediscover ideas you had completely forgotten.  âItâs okay to be stuck, jagi.  It happens to all of us.  When you feel stuck, instead of berating yourself, come talk to me.  Weâll figure it out together, okay?  Donât be so hard on yourself.â
Kai:
This one is also pretty quiet, but just like Kyungsoo, heâs a pillar in your life. Â You work with a bunch of kindergartners and lately, youâve been having trouble with one child in particular. Â Heâs fussy, violent, and quick tempered. Â You know he just needs attention and the proper guidance, but everything you try just seems to backfire. Â On top of all that, youâve been struggling with your lesson plans recently. Â Overall you just feel less and less creative as your stress mounts. Â Jongin will crawl into bed behind you and just wrap his arms around you, pulling on you slightly so you drape yourself over him. Â Heâll run his fingers through your hair and rub away the tension in the base of your skull and neck. Â He would quietly ask you to explain whatâs happening, so you would, ending with how you feel like a failure for 1. Not being able to help the little boy and 2. For not being able to improve at your job. Â Heâd tut quietly and tell you, you worry too much, insisting that there wasnât anyone in the world better than you at your job. Â Jongin would reassure you that if you just keep reaching out to the child, he would eventually fall for you the same way Jongin did. Â He would insist that you take a nap with him, promising that once the two of you were up again heâd help you with your lesson planning and even give some advice for the trouble child. Â âItâs very hard to resist you and your charms, jagi. Â Youâll see. Â Just give it time.â (insert gentle kiss to the forehead)
(you are D.O.)
Sehun:
Heâs a tricky one, honestly. Â Sehun is both super sassy and a super sweetheart. Â If you were getting frustrated with yourself because of a certain recipe you couldnât get right, heâd probably tease you for it. Â He doesnât like to hear you talking bad about yourself (he might even lightheartedly say thatâs his job), so heâll scoff and tell you to knock it off. Â No one talks bad about his jagi, not even you. Â Heâll insist that you make the dish over and over again until you get it. Â This is his technique and itâs always proven to work in the end. Â Of course, that means thereâs going to be a lot of leftovers, but he tells you not to worry about it, because heâs a guy and he has eight other grown men that will eat it up. Â Free is free is free, tbh. Â You never know, this could become a permanent thing that happens. Â Heâs going to want to try all your new recipes, even if theyâre bad (though heâll tell you straight up if they are). Â Sehun strikes me as someone who is not afraid of constructive criticism, nor is he afraid of giving it. Â This is a good thing. Â His honesty will help you grow as a baker/cook. Â That and heâll always be super pleased when you perfect your craft each time. Â âDid [y/n] make any more food?â Â âWhat makes you think youâre worthy enough to enjoy it?â (insert classic eyebrow raise and judging face)
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