#i like them as characters bc they are fictional and interesting and fucking ANCIENT

[specificpollsaboutbooks]

Fiction Works with Footnotes

Semifinals

Propaganda under the readmore

Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell :

The best book I've ever read with no sequel. Read at your own risk, it is an immaculate novel that will probably never get a follow up. The worldbuilding is some of the finest I've read.

The book is filled with footnotes mimicking academic citations and references to innumerable fake books that really make it feel there is a much wider world out there and the book is only centering on this one period of time

So the book is an in universe academic account and the footntes are basically the watsonian author being salty about historical figures. like what more could you want in a footnote. In terms of the book as a whole, its villain was the inspiration for michael shelley of magnus archives fame so something mustve been done right

Bartimaeus :

There are in-character footnotes all the time from Bartimaeus's POV, along with more standard footnotes explaining things less frequently in other POVs. Fundamentally changed my writing style as a child, I bear the brunt of these footnotes.

This series has a lovable (to me) snarky morally gray protagonist. Also it is a demon (djinn).

these books have footnotes by the narrator who is a cool magical djinn and theyre super fun bc they allow him to elaborate on worldbuilding or make snarky remarks that wouldnt otherwise fit in the narrative :3

it's been years since I read them but I still remember them fondly for their fascinating world-building, interesting characters, and their wit, which was often on display in the footnotes

the series is about a demon named bartimaeus who gets summoned by a teenage magician and it's written from the demon's perspective so all the footnotes are from his perspective as well and they're really cool because they give more information about the worldbuilding AND they're also really fucking funny because bartimaeus is a sarcastic bitch most of the time <3

This series is fun and the footnotes add information AND are funny! Seriously one of the best YA fantasy series

Bartimaeus is one of the main characters* of the trilogy**. He's a djinni summoned by the young magician Nathaniel. The story is set in a world where magicians, by binding the powers of magical beings from the Other World, hold all the political power over non-magical commoners.*** Bartimaeus, as a djinni****, can think about many things all at once and this is represented in the story as footnotes.*****

*One would say that HE is The main character (he would say that), but there are two other (similarly) flawed and interesting main characters.

**Actually it's a 'sequence' with a prequel book set in ancient times, but we're seperating that one from the OG story now.

***It's slavery and oppression. Let's call it what it is. Magicians are not good people.

****And as a quite extraordinary and humble creature.

***** Like this! :D

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

wait... you like kenjaku?

i feel like not many people do...

with kenjaku...

one thing that always bothered me was kenjaku's past life?

what was kenjaku's first host like? who was it?

i can't get the idea of kenjaku's first host being kenjaku's lover—a way of preserving his lover's memory by being inside their body literally.

and kenjaku knows it inside out, but now, kenjaku truly knows what it's like to know it inside out.

do you think it would make kenjaku cry? i'm not sure. i don't know if i have a good handle on kenjaku's character yet.

but i find this thought to be interesting.

it occupies my mind from time to time. (i think it's pretty romantic, too...)

(and the potential of kenjaku preferring some bodies over others? potentially missing the original body kenjaku used to possess? a sense of dissociation, perhaps, too? or nonchalance? i'm not sure.)

and since my humour is a little bit too raunchy for my own good, i keep on making myself laugh by thinking of kenjaku having a partner who just calls kenjaku an 'ancient brain with teeth leaking fluids' or 'you're just a brain—suguru's the one who's pretty' and kenjaku would be like, 'yeah? is that so? well i'm the one fucking you with his dick.'

ANONNNNN I’VE READ THIS ASK OVER AND OVER AGAIN LIKE A MILLION TIMES you have nooo idea how ecstatic i got seeing it !!! I DOOOO LIKE KENNY I LOVE KENNY he’s my fave jjk character hehe <333 (stsg excluded … 👉👈)

i don’t even know where to begin because i have sooo many thoughts abt this… it’s such an interesting aspect of kenny’s character that i think a lot of ppl don’t tend to discuss (partially bc he isn’t the most popular character in the first place…) SO THIS IS THE PERFECT OPPORTUNITY FOR ME TO RANT A LIL buckle up my sweet anon >:33

first of all!!!!! TYSM FOR SENDING THIS IN it’s not often i get the chance to talk about kenny 🥺🥺 and honestly this is one of my favorite things about him; his identity crisis <333333 it’s soooo obvious and so so interesting and i can’t get enough of it. immortality as a trope is one i really love when it’s done well, and in kenny’s case i think it definitely is!! (but i still want akutami to explore it more in depth 😞)

in addition to that, jjk’s theme of love is so interesting when it comes to kenny because he canonically feels his vessel’s emotions, has their memories — so surely he must feel their love for people too? this is something i really hope akutami digs into more. like… did kenny love yuji when he was growing in his womb? when he was born? did he love jin? when he took over geto’s body, could he feel his love for gojo? it’s so fascinating to me.

buuuut to actually dig into your own thoughts and questions….. anon. i am in love with you. THE IDEA OF HIS FIRST HOST BEING HIS LOVER IS SO GENIUS HELLOOOOO?????? i lost it a bit when i read this ask IT’S ABSOLUTELY ROMANTIC!!! you have no idea how much i agree…… it’s a lil niche i think but!! i’m so so weak for characters who cope with the loss of a loved one by becoming them, either literally or more figuratively… i don’t see it in fiction super often but when it appears it always hits. (there’s this one game i adore where an npc you meet names herself after her dead lover and i just :(( i think it’s so romantic.)

BACK TO KENNY THOUGH …. oh anon i just adore this hc. it’s canon to me now!!! the idea of him feeling closer to his lover by taking over their corpse… it’s so twisted and desperate and it feels so fitting for him somehow. i think that kenny’s emotions are severely dulled after living for so long, but if it was his very first host, then i definitely think he might’ve cried :((( to feel your lover’s presence, to see them in the mirror, but to know they aren’t really there…. yeahhhh. fucked up </3

overall i just. really really want to see more glimpses into kenny’s previous vessels… his past…. to see him show more genuine emotion !! a big reason why kenny vs takaba is one of my favorite jjk fights is because his range of expressions is so wide, and they feel so real somehow….. there’s just sooo much about him that we don’t know yet. it’s hard to discern what parts of him are borrowed and what parts are authentic, and that makes him so intriguing as a character….. i just. love him a whole lot 🥺🥺

(also, anon… honestly… i think kenny might be in a permanent state of dissociation :’3 that might be why he’s so desperate to find some sort of meaning to it all…. unhinged little mad scientist meowmeow <33)

[ezzoh]

tagged by @sauvechouris~

fave colour: ORANGE

currently reading: Notes from the Burning Age, by Claire North. post-apo power struggles and reflexions on mankind’s relationship to the world/mankind’s image of itself, with a focus on nature and history repeating itself and ancient, harmful, censored technologies being brought back by prideful, power-hungry people, so, YOU KNOW, not-at-all-familiar, not-at-all-painful stuff. i wasn’t expecting it to be so heavy on the spy thriller, but in retrospect it’s extremely her and of course i should have expected it.  i’m enjoying it quite a bit so far :D also protag’s relationship to the antag he spied on and betrayed is. yes. yep.

last song: i’ve mostly been listening to web radios bc that’s what i put on at work. this afternoon i randomly remembered The Bus Is Late by Satellite High, let’s go with that :D

last series: .... i finished what was available of 9-1-1 in my region, so i’ve. gotten started on 9-1-1 Lone Star.

last movie: uhhhhh shit i honestly don’t remember. maybe something action-y with my dad?? wait i think maybe a Jojo Rabbit rewatch a few weeks back. idk. movies kind of blend together after a while, too short and only rarely impactful.

currently working on: oh i have many WIPs, be it fics or games or crafts. i’m not working on any of them :D

∴

share 10 different favorite characters from ten different pieces of media in no particular order, then tag 10 people 🎥🎬📺

1. Kalas (Baten Kaitos) - it’s, y’know, my boy “but ezzoh wasn’t he an asshole the whole time” and he was so good at it!! “didn’t he betray everyone” yes, isn’t he interesting?? “wait. didn’t he betray you too. like personally. as a player.” i support him doing it. had never felt such shock and rage at a fictional character before, 10/10 would get fucked over again. worst thing to ever happen to me in a video game. my boy.

2. Viktor (Arcane) - look you can’t give me a passionate man running out of time turning to a forbidden technology/magic in desperation and turning his body into a mechanic abomination, with themes of class struggles, power imbalance, disability, bodily autonomy, mechanization, sacrifice and violence against the self, without expecting me to pounce on that like a famished tiger.

3. Lambdadelta (Umineko no naku koro ni) - a gleeful, helpful troll! pink!! gay!! gore- and vore-enthusiastic romance with her nemesis!! likes sweets!! sometimes she’ll say things so raw and relatable i can’t look at her directly!!

4. Leenik (Campaign: Star Wars) - “sometimes they’ll say something so raw and relatable i can’t look at them directly” round two. he’s a dysfunctional mess of a psychopath, has killed and will kill again, will feel bad but mostly about feeling good about it, is not sure he’s still a person, broke me a thousand times with casually thrown out, innocuously devastating little statements, is still a fucking sweetie with the cutest most ill-advised crush and the most adorable passion for romance novels, is a dork and a mother to his dog, knows he’s broken and messy and dangerous, knows he’s going rotten inside, has a heart so dark he corrupted a lightsaber and gave an imperial inquisitor the dokis. i have complicated feelings. i have one all-obliterating feeling. i’m scraped hollow and oversaturated. what was i before i understood myself through the lens of leenik

5. Lau Kin Ming (Infernal Affairs trilogy) - *lies down on the floor for a hundred years*

6. Eunie (Xenoblade Chronicles 3) - she’s my RUDEST CHILD

7. Kabrew (Dungeon Meshi) - i have a thing for smiling manipulative sociopaths. i have even more of a thing for characters who aren’t manipulative for nefarious reasons but just because they’re nd and that’s how they’ve learned to interact with the world, for good reasons like self-preservation or to protect someone/something or to achieve a goal that is objectively good or neutral. it’s his best asset!!! of course he’s going to use it!!! a pragmatic boy!!! very polite and efficient!!! absolutely cannot deal with the kind of monster-obsessed adhd idiot-who-won’t-explain-himself-ever that the protag unfortunately (for kabrew) happens to be, is terribly shrewd and clever and analytic but keeps tragically misunderstanding protag’s idiocy in the most hilarious way, is very bad at fighting monsters (his job.) but suspiciously skilled at fighting people (not even remotely in his job description :) ), later aquires another one-track-mind nd idiot to take care off and mellows out so fucking much guys it’s like he melted into mithrun’s gently reluctant fussy little wife. i am obsessed

8. Olivier (Trails in the Sky) - ✨SPARKLES✨DAZZLES YOU WITH FINE WINE, FLORID POETRY AND ROMANTIC MUSIC✨FLIRTS WITH YOU✨FLIRTS WITH YOUR DAD✨FLIRTS WITH YOUR SISTER✨FLIRTS WITH HIS BOYFRIEND✨FLIRTS WITH YOUR BOYFRIEND✨BRINGS A FLEET OF TANKS TO THREATEN YOUR BORDER✨PLOTS TO OVERTHROW THE CHANCELLOR✨FLIRTS WITH THE CHANCELLOR✨

9. Anakin (Star Wars) - i debated over maybe adding Maul to this list instead but. Maul would seethe with rage at the idea of being overlooked in favor of Anakin and so obviously that’s the correct choice. the Force wills it. anyway, ANAKIN. he’s so good. beloved by the narrative, beloved by magic, beloved by the universe. he’s SO MUCH and he’s carrying so much; expectations, responsibilities, power, restraints, taboos, fate, trauma; that when he inevitably comes crashing down he shakes the galaxy to its core and shifts the entire balance of the Force. also he’s a bitch and has a lovely snarky dynamic with just about everybody, i’m especially fond of his characterization in The Clone Wars :D

10. Xue Yang (Mo Dao Zu Shi) - .............. look i didn’t know how to end this list and i can’t choose between all my Pokémon faves and it’s better than Kavinsky even though it’s technically xianxia!Kavinsky, a little bit, but also it’s better trust me i’m a Kavinsky girl. there’s so much about him that is pressing all my buttons. he’s so terrible and so full of regrets but absolutely unapologetic and he’s tragic and he never knew what he had until he broke it but also he never really had it because he came into it already broken and bloodied himself and he did so, so much wrong and he hated and he loved so, so hard and for a while he had something that was almost like happiness but was also built on his lies and crimes and he destroyed it like a child playing and he fought so hard and so desperately to get it back, but he never did, and what little lingered of his broken dream had never been his to save, and he met a miserable end and he was never understood, or loved, or known. i need a minute.

(bonus round: 11. Shigeru (Pokémon anime) - yeah i lied actually i know who to choose it’s this bitch. i love him and so should you thanks for coming to my TED talk)

∴

aannnnddd i don’t really know who i could tag, so?? just grab the meme and go wild, my children

[linddzz]

Pitch Black for the ask meme bc I'm forever on my rotg bullshit

002 | Give me a character & I will tell you

How I feel about this character: THE OG! THE BASTARD THAT STARTED IT ALL! My first fanfic was because I didn’t like how anyone else was writing him at the time. He is still probably one of my favorite villain characters tbh. He’s got the classic Bad Guy vibe with evil laughs and a killin aesthetic but just adding all the potential for ancient eldritch personification of fear in the shadows???? Chefs kiss. So much cool shit was done with him in fandom because of that. But he’s also a goofy fuck??? He tells stupid jokes and he sasses and we must never forget the prancing around on the globe like a big fucking nerd.  And then the angst potential. The reveal that he’s also a lonely miserable motherfucker who is largely acting up to get attention and make people notice him. He’s manipulative but I like interpreting him as also being fully sincere and never really lying because that makes it so much more interesting.  Later learning about the book Kozmotis backstory??? Making Pitch into the end result of a formerly noble hero character being taken over and fully corrupted by cosmic darkness??? AMAZING. INCREDIBLE. EXACTLY MY SHIT.

All the people I ship romantically with this character: Jack Frost. (Who uh, just to be clear for newer kids, bc of his voice I always took as “twink who died between 18 and 25″ since if I remember right no one could find an official age for movie Jack??) I mean, you got the Cold and Dark dynamic that even Pitch tries to appeal to. You can also go into fun often has a bit of fear going on. They’re two immortals who know what it’s like to be totally ignored, overlooked, and invisible while being increasingly desperate for some sort of recognition. They can take each other in a fight and GOD I always loved Pitches legit batshit GLEE when Jack hands his ass to him and hes all like OH YEAH SHIT GOT INTERESTING AGAIN. I also am a person who loves me some unhealthy obsession in my fiction ships and Pitch immediately going “IF YOURE NOT GONNA BE MY FRIEND YOU’RE GONNA BE NO ONES FRIEND!!!!” just made my Hot Problematique Content senses perk right the fuck up. Scissor Sisters “I Cant Decide” is MY SONG for them ok like they just got that MOOD. Even in my more uh, mutal and balanced version of them (aka Evil Boyfriends) I see any relationship with Pitch getting full on codependent and obsessive and contentious. But even with all Dark Vibes there’s that fun aspect to them both! There is so much potential for stupid shenanigans and jokes and mischievous idiocy right alongside the dark nightmare shit and god I love that dichotomy.

My non-romantic OTP for this character: Him and Sandman have a two-sides-of-the-same-coin balance dynamic that is so great to explore. I also have an AU where Pitch is less Absolute Villain and more of a like, weird asshole antagonist who is still Part of Their World and anyway him and Toothiana get together to have tea parties where they talk shit and act like passive aggressive PTA mom frienemies.

My unpopular opinion about this character: Fandom made him too nice. Just. In general. I also got a lot of flack in the height of fandom for saying that without a LOONNNGGGG redemption arc and likely a bit of reverting back to Kozmotis, Pitch as he is in the movie isn’t really made for “healthy and wholesome romantic relationship”

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: I only kinda read the books but man i would KILL for that Kozmotis backstory presented as an adult sci-fi/fairytale. Give me space fantasy and noble knights and really digging into that “how much of the old man is in there still” nightmare potential.

my OTP: I pretty much put my blackice manifesto right up there already

my cross over ship: Shrug

a headcanon fact: Pitch doesn’t remember his old life but his personality is pretty much unchanged, but twisted up. He still sometimes gets set off and almost triggered by things that hit on Kozmotis trauma, but he has no idea why and those instances freak him out a little bit. He dances around a lot and if he wasn’t so fucked up by his growing isolation and need for vengeance he would probably be a great non-evil overall harmless antagonist who just likes stirring shit up for shits and giggles and (other peoples) screams.

[radramblog]

What happened to Dirk in Homestuck^2?

Why am I doing this to myself.

I memed a little yesterday when I was posting that article around social medias about Homestuck jokes, because once again we are in lockdown and I am therefore Stuck at Home. Canned laughter goes here. But there’s a topic related to the comic- or more specifically, its aborted sequel, Homestuck^2, that I’m interested in delving into a little bit. I’m going to avoid talking about spoilers as much as possible, but considering said comic takes place not only after the events of the massive sprawl that is Homestuck but also the more linear but still messy Epilogues, some amount of sus shit is inevitable.

Anyway. Much maligned is what the Epilogues and 2 did to everyone’s favourite decapitation target, Dirk Strider, and I have a theory as to why it happened this way.

To begin with, let’s summarise what and who Dirk is through the course of the comics. Fair warning from me, though, it’s been a while since I read through this.

Dirk Strider is a teenager who grew up in a post-apocalyptic future Earth, completely devoid of physical contact with other people and only really ever gets to talk to 3 other people, only one of whom is in anything remotely resembling a relatable situation. He struggles with self-identity, having created numerous robots including an artificial intelligence based on his own brain, aka Lil’ Hal. He’s somewhat of a control freak, and a bit of a cold aloof asshole, but means well, and is pretty gay. NBD. The kinda guy to set up a plan meticulously and thoroughly, not informing any of the moving parts even if said parts are his friends, and often involving some form of self-sacrifice.

Throughout the comic he further reckons with self-identity problems and his own self-loathing including entering a relationship with Jake which doesn’t go well and he eventually breaks off since he knows his overbearing and manipulative behaviour is Not Cool and Pretty Toxic but doesn’t know how to shut it off. Eventually he reaches the God Tier as a Prince of Heart, gaining the power to literally annihilate souls, which he never actually uses since he gets yeeted into deep (Paradox) space and then everything goes to shit. Except none of that happens because of the Retcon (aside from the God Tier bit) and we don’t actually see how that shit progressed in the canon timeline. I think. Dirk’s arc, as it were, doesn’t really come full circle- while he does assist in Dave’s character…growth? he really isn’t the focus of that conversation. This immediately precedes the action climax and there isn’t literally any dialogue after that so that’s what we’re left with.

I like Dirk in Homestuck a lot. It’s hard not to, considering the flashes heavily featuring him (Unite/Synchronise and Prince of Heart: Rise Up) are genuinely excellent, along with many of his music themes being absolute bangers. He gets to interact with Caliborn a lot, with a pretty great banter, there, and the whole splintered personality thing is a really interesting hook for a character. I think he’s my favourite of the Alpha kids, a controversial pick considering I know everyone loves Roxy so much. I think, I’m not as in tune with the fandom as that statement implies I am.

And then the Epilogues/Homestuck 2 came.

Now I read the Meat half of the epilogues first, but that’s more interesting, so we’ll tackle Candy first (this is going to get real confusing for those who haven’t read this comic, huh).

In Candy, Dirk almost immediately kills himself, citing the irrelevance of the timeline as cause, an act considered by whatever mechanism governs God Tier deaths to be Just because he hates himself (and also bc of things we’ll get into), so it actually sticks. This isn’t super relevant for the discussion, but that’s just kinda so unbelievably fucked up? Entirely? I’d imagine if you read Candy first you might get entirely turned off by this, which I’m sure a lot of people did.

Meat is where the, well, meat of post-canon Dirk is. You see, a concept very quickly introduced in the tail end of the original comic is the Ultimate Self, an idea where you somehow encompass every different timeline iteration or alternate version of yourself. This was pretty clearly tacked on to make it so characters whose arcs all happened in the retcon timeline could have their not getting an actual arc explained away, but it didn’t land then and it sure doesn’t land for me now. Anyway, in Meat, Dirk becomes his ultimate self, making him near-omniscient and able to control the fabric of the story himself- for much of this story, he is the narrator. And he uses this power to fuck with all his friends really distressingly without their knowledge (or consent), including breaking up a marriage, in order to further his own goals which largely appear to be just keep the story going so to not fade out of relevance. It’s a plot that makes no sense with his previous characterisation, but I guess now that he’s the Ultimate Self he’s a different person? But I liked old Dirk, and I don’t like New Dirk. He’s a villain now, but he made a much better anti-hero.

But this would be fine if he (or the epilogues, or Homestuck^2) were written well. But they aren’t. Dirk’s dialogue is long, painfully drawn out, with tangents that tend to amount to pure wank, misused literary references and pointless metaphors that go on and on, filling the screen with a bright orange screed that hurts to look at as much as it does to comprehend. It’s not fun. And we’ve seen Dirk communicate before, obviously, the story of Homestuck is built around chatlogs, but it wasn’t like this. He was sarcastic, dryly witty, blunt at times. Even when he was literally talking to a different version of himself it didn’t get that masturbatory.

I was so confused about what the hell happened to Dirk, because I had no idea what the hell someone writing this character was thinking when they turned him into this. And then, the 21st page of Homestuck^2 dropped.

And it all came together.

What Ultimate Dirk and Terezi are referring to is Pony Pals: Detective Pony, a children’s book about some girls who hang out with ponies and solve a mystery. It’s a real book, buy it for your 5-year-old.

Except they’re not referring to that, they’re referring to the Homestuck Canon version of Detective Pony- a birthday gift from Dirk to Jane, heavily edited and to be much more obscene and eventually developing into it’s own story, stated to be “tough, emotionally draining, but cathartic in all the worst ways possible”.

Except the quote “Remember Longcat, Jane?” and references to philosophy, dead languages, and ancient earth culture aren’t referring to the three pages of the Dirk-edited Detective Pony we see in the actual comic itself. That quote doesn’t appear there.

That image is from Detective Pony, by Sonnetstuck- the 40,000 word fanfiction from 2014 that serves as a completed version of Jane’s copy of the book. An expansion of what we see in canon. And it’s a tough, emotionally draining read, but cathartic in all the worst ways possible.

It’s a very good fanfiction.

In the later bits of Detective Pony, we can start to see the origins of what would become Ultimate Dirk’s signature style of writing. Long blocks of rambling text, orange dripping down the page, references to philosophy and history and language that go on and on. And it probably does look familiar to those who read the Epilogues and ^2. 

But there are a couple of key differences here. First of all, it’s just better written? The way these rambles circle back on themselves is so excellent, the absolute absurdity of this being written on top of a pony book for little girls, the humour (beyond some of the more immature stuff), it’s just a really well-written piece of fiction. Hell, you don’t even need to be familiar with the character of Dirk to enjoy it. It’s a harrowing piece, but it’s also self-aware- because it’s not supposed to be tough, draining, cathartic etc. just for Jane- it’s clearly that for Dirk himself.

The second part is, of course, that this is a fanfiction. It’s not canon, it’s not official, this is by someone who really likes Dirk for people who really like Dirk. It doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of things, so if you bounce off it (and I’m sure a lot did), then you don’t have to keep reading it, it’s fine, thanks for playing. As much as Homestuck^2 tried to doll itself up as “dubiously canon” it’s still the official continuation of the story, and that means if it’s as difficult to get into as Detective Pony, that’s going to be a problem for a lot of people.

The other part of it is that Detective Pony’s exploration of Dirk’s character is, well, in character. When the man himself steps in as a character in his own book, the explorations of what he is as an author, who he is as a person, make perfect sense for what we see of him at the start of the comic. He is that manipulative, blunt person, and he is aware of his faults. He’s the kind of person to hide a lamentation on his own failings inside an impenetrable maze of a story layered on top of a book about fucking ponies. Ultimate Dirk does not act like Dirk, outside of the “manipulator” angle, something that Dirk was aware of and trying to improve in the comic. But I guess people don’t have arcs, right?

It’s so interesting to see the seeds of Homestuck^2 laden within Detective Pony- because the meta angle that and the epilogues take is also represented in said fanfiction. While the nature of canon is a facet of the work, the idea of authors and narrators fighting for control of a story, different ideas in mind for the characters, one being more personally connected to them than the other, it’s all there. When I wrote about Fallout 4 in the past, I mentioned being worried that Bethesda took the wrong lessons from Skyrim- seeing something successful and trying to recapture that lightning in a bottle. I think Homestuck^2 is an extreme example of this- the writers of the comic saw Sonnetstuck’s masterwork and thought, yeah that’s great, we can do that. But they just can’t. And with the comic crashed and burning, the probably won’t ever get a chance to. Dirk is forever stuck as this amalgamation of himself that looks nothing like any individual version of him ever did.

At least we will still have Detective Pony, and many other excellent fanworks, for actually good Dirk content. I admittedly haven’t looked into much fanfic written during/post-epilogues, and I’m kind of afraid of what I’ll see- I can only hope the fanbase didn’t take the same wrong lessons as the official team did.

[bi-demon-ium]

30

a long and not completely comprehensive list below the cut of what makes me happy, in no particular order:

What makes you happy?

video games I like (mostly stuff that's fun, has a good narrative, and is real pretty to look at, but those aren't hard and fast rules as long as there's something i love in it--too many to name)

writing (when i'm in the groove, anyway--and not just straightforward literature, also things like interactive fiction/games, videos, or essays)

certain tv shows (and sometimes movies/books/podcasts--too many of all of these to list, but I do have a weakness for episodic stuff, like mystery shows/MOTW shows/etc. in particular, as well as things fantasy or fantasy adjacent, especially fantasy grounded in the real world)

certain fictional characters in general

infodumping to someone who's actually interested or like, excitedly vibing back and forth about a mutual interest

you know like if you're lying in someone's arms and they just trace shapes on your back or drag their fingernails up and down? listen i haven't had that shit since i was like ten but the best fucking feeling in the world okay

my friends on discord

ao3 comments

cats

also dogs but mostly cats bc less energy sorry dogs i love you too

lots of animals really but i don't get to interact with any other animals that regularly so

baking and cooking certain things (potion potion POTION POTION)

certain foods (burgers, hand-cut fries, puppy chow, pasta, strawberry flavored things, to name a few)

ah, soda. listen the carbonation is just so good

big fluffy blanket. weighted blanket sometimes.

LOTS OF PILLOWS. I LOVE PILLOWS AND HUGE PILES OF BEDDING/BLANKETS/PILLOWS

stuffed animals. i have an ancient stuffed bear and id die for that bear. i think genuinely if something happened to him i'd have a fucking meltdown. ive literally had that thing since like, a day or two after i was born, okay.

music!!!!!

SINGING!!!!!!!!! especially songs from musicals bc the drama of it all is so [chefs kiss]

being in on a joke, like just, inside jokes

nerf guns

also fake swords, especially foam ones i can whack someone with

the mothman

those variety packs of ferrero rocher that include the three types (like normal chocolate, a darker one, and coconut white chocolate)

rainbow packs of nerds

terry's chocolate oranges

"kid's champagne" (sparkling welch's juice we put in champagne flutes as if we were adults as kids)

boos from mario. i dont know why they're just shaped like friends

sweater vests

actually just generally clothing that makes me feel Gender

the swish of a long skirt or dress

stained glass

my stupid skyward sword joycons

magnifying glasses with nice fancy handles. they're just neat

libraries, especially big ones

secret passages and finding them. the feeling of discovering a secret passage, even one you were meant to find? incomparable.

the smell of old books

thunderstorms

perfectly timed thunderstorms (aka loud and when im trying to sleep and do not have to go outside)

hugs, i think? hugs, hypothetically

riddles, terrible or otherwise

pride flags and pride colors

being called the right pronouns/name

nicknames; freely given

getting a package

opening a package

pomegranate chapstick

performing onstage (ESPECIALLY A MUSICAL!!!)

humans being like. good. you know

making people laugh

making people cry but like specifically in a good creative way not in a mean way

except that time i played a villain scary enough to make a child cry. sorry, child. that did make me happy. it was flattering. the child was fine it's fine it's fine

rainbow colored things

sleeping in

the stars

the moon

[pacifv]

HE MEGA RP PLOTTING SHEET / MEME.

First and foremost, recall that no one is perfect, we all have witnessed some plotting once which did not went too well, be it because of us or our partner. So here have this, which may help for future plotting. It’s a lot! Yes, but perhaps give your partners some insight? Anyway BOLD what fully applies, italicize if only somewhat.

Mun Name: Mik      Age: 26      Contact: IM, discord

Character(s) I rp: Eden ( in bleach ) -- I have other ocs but that’s another story Which muse(s) inspires you the most atm?(for MM): Eden... ? Current Fandom(s): Bleach , so far Fandom(s) you have an AU for:  more fantasy esque ones?  My language(s): spanish , english  Themes I’m interested in for rp:   Fantasy / Science fiction / Horror / Western / Romance / Thriller / Mystery / Dystopia / Adventure / Modern / Erotic / Crime / Mythology / Classic / History / Renaissance / Medieval / Ancient / War / Family / Politics / Religion / School / Adulthood / Childhood / Apocalyptic / Gods / Sport / Music / Science / Fights / Angst / Smut / Drama / etc. Themes/Genres you have an AU for: fantasy , religious

Preferred Thread length: one-liner / 1 para / 2 para / 3+ / novella. Asks can be send by: Mutuals / Non-Mutuals / Personals / Anons. Can Asks be continued?:   YES / NO   only by Mutuals?:  YES / NO. Preferred thread type: crack / casual nothing too deep / serious / deep as heck. Is realism / research important for you in certain themes?:   YES / NO. Are you atm open for new plots?:  YES / NO / DEPENDS. Do you handle your draft / ask - count well?:  YES / NO / SOMEWHAT. How long do you usually take to reply?:  24h / 1 week / 2 weeks / 3+ / months / years. I’m okay with interacting: original characters / a relative of my character (an oc) / duplicates / my fandom / crossovers / multi-muses / self-inserts / people with no AU verse for my fandom / canon-divergent portrayals / au-versions (as main or only verse). Do you post more ic or occ?:  IC / OOC. Are you selective with following others?:  YES / NO / DEPENDS.  

Best ways to approach you for rp/plotting:  IM since this is pretty much new . just slap me with that and if you have some ideas , better --- if not let just brainstorm with what we have in hand . 

What expectations do you hold towards your plotting partner:  some minimal idea of the context and eden’s character . some ideas if possible . more than often I have gotten people straight up jump with no clue of what even is going on in my side character wise . 

When you notice the plotting is rather one-sided, what do you do?:  depends , most likely really stop trying or let it sink . I’m not much of a person who would pressure for ideas when they don’t even come naturally for me in these kind of situations . 

How do you usually plot with others, do you give input or leave most work towards your partner?:  First of all , ask what they particularly want and if they read the bio . and of course , have their bio as well ( if oc or any relevant hc on vague canons ) . I am honestly a bit shy on the input but if I found a ground to start letting my imagination loose ( like , something in common between characters or something that clicks well with my muse ) I can suggest several things . but in any case , I’m pretty passive and it’s a lot of gives and takes . 

When a partner drops the thread, do you wish to know?:   YES / NO / DEPENDS. - And why?: depends on the thread , the time and the interest . things that go downtown in the excitement scale are :/  and I can’t blame anyone for dropping a thread . not all the time you will have muse for them , tho , if it was a relevant thread I would ask at least . - What should your partner do when dropping a thread?:  pretty much free to tell me or not . I’m no one to judge.

What could possibly lead you to drop a thread?:  losing muse , interest , time ... pretty much the same . feeling like my muse is going too OOC for the sake of the other muse or smth .  - Will you tell your partner?:   YES / NO / DEPENDS.

Is communication in the rpc important to you?   YES / NO. - And why?:  I am very old school and having some OOC interaction to at least know how things are going , it’s as much as I can ask here .  - Are you okay with absolute honesty, even if it may means hearing something negative about you and/or portrayal?:  I mean , I should . it can turn me off a bit but it’s just natural ? there’s no way something can be perfect or be of someone’s taste . plus I am not that smart to be fully aware of all the things around the motif and IRL information I use on my muse . I’m no book , buddy. - Do you think you can handle such situation in a mature way?  YES / NO.

Why do you rp again, is there a goal?:  development , exploring the muse , seeing what works and doesn’t work . often new blogs for me are basically prototypes , they are and will  most likely have minor or major modifications as my imagination starts working and getting excited . besides , in the basics , you can hardly manage to cover all ( if anything ) of how one’s muse would react to X situation .

Wishlist, be it plots or scenarios:  a lot of quincy lore , come up with more personal connections with other quincies , fully develop a backstory and a post war scenario . cultural exploration  --- relationships of all kinds . 

Themes I won’t ever rp / explore:  pretty much I am fine with anything as long as we don’t cross the gross line . but I’m not afraid of the dark .

What Type of Starters do you prefer / dislike, can’t work with?: absurdly basic and with no context given . not even have an idea of what is the deal between muses . I can squeeze my brain but there is as much as i can do with little information .

What type of characters catch your interest the most?:  quirky ones , conflictive ones , most likely muses with specific motifs that spark my interest -- deepness . Aesthetically interesting ones . but overall , those who have out of the normal personalities . 

What type of characters catch your interest the least?:  personalities that doesn’t work or do not harmonize with the context of their characters . that’s all I can say .

What are your strong aspects as rp partner?:  I am.... creative ? gdi I did this meme already but it’s hard to reply these two ones. I am easily excitable . if we end up in a ship , expect me to be pampering af . I really enjoy the exploration of relations between people , emotions and psychological stuff tied around it . I do like casual and also very deep things . I’m not afraid of dealing with heavy topics . I like horror ???? also I am very into the secondary character role , as in : my muse is here to help your muse to grow or insight . that stuff . not much of a protagonist role in RPs. 

What are your weak aspects as rp partner?: I’m .... very.... sporadic . My mood is annoying esp when I’m “new” blog around kind of thing . I’m shy , even if I don’t seem so --- I get pretty anxious over details . I am impatient --- with myself . I want to do so many things at the same time I end up overwhelmed . 

Do you rp smut?:  YES / NO. Do you prefer to go into detail?:  YES / NO / DEPENDS. Are you okay with black curtain?:  YES / NO. - When do you rp smut? More out of fun or character development?:  mmmmmmmmm , both. Depends on mood and context tbh . - Anything you would not want to rp there?:  nothing I can think from the top of my head.

Are ships important to you?:   YES / NO. Would you say your blog is ship-focused?:   YES / NO. Do you use read more?:  YES / NO / SOMETIMES. Are you: Multi-Ship / Single-Ship / Dual-Ship  —  Multiverse / Singleverse. - What do you love to explore the most in your ships?:  again , I’m big mood for interpersonal relationships ( romantic or not ) , the pros and cos of certain traits , ideology clash , personality clash , anything that comes in a relation that could make it come and go .  - What is your smut tag?: unholy.

Are you okay with pre-established relationships?: YES / NO. - And what kind of ones?: all are hella okay for me . pre- est is my jam bc jesus christ the awkward first encounters make me go blue screen .

► SECTION ABOUT YOUR MUSE.

- What could possibly make your Muse interesting towards others, why should they rp with this particular character of yours now, what possible plots do they offer?:  the fact she is basically a “religious fanatic” , with a quirky personality and a questionable morality , considering she has an inner conflict between the wellness of her race and her loyalty towards yhwach . At least pre war . post war , she has a flipped personality were she is mostly bitter and more angsty but will go from fanatic to straight up hater . 

- With what type of Muses do you usually struggle to rp with?:   bland personalities ? not sure myself , Eden is pretty much ready for anything since her personality is pretty laid back . I guess I would say shinigamis in general --- since she basically is stuck inside Silbern . - With what type of Muses do they usually work well with?:  Quincies , ofc . and people who are willing to put up with her crap .

- What interests your Muse(s) in general:  the prosperity of the quincy , doing a proper duty , order , tea , annoying the fuck out of people . being eerie ....  - What do they desire, is their goal?:  the ideal world as thought by Yhwach --- later on simply for her kind to survive after losing the war and being left to their luck . - What catches their interest first when meeting someone new?:  mmm , appearance  and reactions to her witty or narcisistic comments .  - What do they value in a person?:    loyalty , uniqueness . - What themes do they like talking about?:  most likely about the order of the army , tea stuff , herself (?) , but she is also a lot for debates and insight . - Which themes bore them?:  rebellious , silly thoughts . justice related topics . anything that critics her loyalty/life style . 

- Did they ever went through something traumatic?:  the first war was enough ? most likely losing comrades --- yhwach sacrificing the quincy for power later on .  - What could possibly trigger them?:  the simple sight of anyone laying a finger of the quincy for being against their views .   - What could set them off, enrage them?:  nothing. she cannot literally , physically get angry or enraged . but if we are talking bitter , that would be completely post war and it’s just the mention of yhwach’s name or those who went to god’s palace with him .  - What could lead to an instant kill?:  invasion of silbern , chaos . 

- Is there someone /-thing they hate?:  chaos , rebels , shinigami , anyone against the quincy . - Is there someone /-thing they love?:   her race , her pride , herself .

Is your Muse easy to approach?: YES / NO. - Best ways to approach them?:  just .... come to her and say hi . she is literally wandering around silbern all the time ( quincy speaking tho ) . for others , eh ... good luck . and wait post war (?) - Where are they usually to find?:  Silbern ... then Siberia . 

Something you may still want to point out about your muse?:  She is no saint , clearly . She has a questionable sense of things like loyalty and preservation of her race . she is honestly all over the place

CONGRATS!!! You managed it, now tag your mutuals! ♥

Tagged by:  honestly stole from @skyvar​  Tagging:  no one in particular.

[aspookybunny]

Answer the questions and tag people you want to know better!

I was tagged by @eliljahwood , thank you very much for tagging me I love these things

Name: Jessica

Nickname: sometimes my friends will call me Jess

Zodiac: Capricorn

Height: 5’10” my whole like ive wished I was like 2-4 inches shorter

Languages: native English speaker, took Mandarin Chinese in high school trying to relearn some of it bc I love it, I know a tiny bit of Russian from my mom

Nationality: American (I’m so sorry about the president I hate him too)

Favorite Season: Fall

Favorite Flower: daisy probably

Favorite Animals: penguins, polar bears, seals especially harbor seals, wombats, leopards, sharks, nearly all animals in all honesty it’s hard to choose

Favorite Smell: coffee and old books with kinda yellowed pages

Favorite Fictional Character: Black Widow, Captain Marvel, Thorin Oakenshield, Crowley

Coffee, Tea, or Hot Chocolate: COFFEE

Average Sleep: like 6 hours

Favorite Color: forest green

Dogs or cats: dogs

Number of blankets: 2 on the couch, 2 in the bed, and 2 extras and 1 broken heated blanket that I can’t bring myself to throw away cause what if I can fix it

Dream Trip: Egypt and exploring all the ancient egyptian ruins and the pyramids and temples and museums

Blog Established: late 2012 maybe early 2013

Random Fact: umm I’m attempting to go to college for archaeology. I just got my Associates transfer degree but 4 year college funding is an issue at the moment

Gender: woman I guess I like they them pronouns more but like she/her is fine and i not sure I feel strongly enough to say non-binary it’s a questioning thing currently and I just don’t know enough about all the gender stuff

Sexuality: soooooo queer I usually say in my head bc once again it’s a whole thing. For a while I was saying lesbian bc I was only liking women and there’s literally only 1 guy character that I like and he’s fictional and the actor I’m not interested in so I’m kinda questioning over it but also like it’s a non human fictional character and can probably be attributed to my strong internalized need to be “perfect” and “normal” and the whole raised with small town mid western church thing. And in the real world with real people it’s only women. Sorry for the rant but I’ve been holding that question in for months

Harry Potter Moral Compass: Gryffindor

Why did you start this blog? Idk my friends told me I’d like tumblr. And I never left

Most Recently Played Album: the last individual album I listened to was Norman Fucking Rockwell by Lana del Rey

And finally I’ll tag @bisexual-bella and @princessrococo of you guys are interested in doing these

[janiedean]

I haven't seen IT 2 but I'm enjoying that wild discourse too (it is funny but some comments like "lol they made penniwise homophobic because they saw the memes and didn’t want people to think he’s gay" makes me wonder how much they are serious or joking... "They were really hoping he's change after dating Babadook huh?" and if people really have difficulties to separate canon from memes or if they're joking too). But mostly I wonder: why people have a hard time getting it's a HORROR movie? (1/?)

(2/?) Like, it is because this movie somehow become more mainstream? Is it because there is one actor from stranger things, they thought it would similar, with "light horror" and positive representations? Is it the clean picture and cinematography that makes it looks like less a horror movie because it hasn't a "dirty" quality of image some horror movie has? Are they just discovering what a horror movie can be ('cause it is one of the few mainstream one)? (3/3) Like I don't watch a lot of horror movies but obviously not everyone of them have the good guys winnings, or have a final girl, or have happy gay/black/oppressed people/... in it, especially if the movie wants to show the dark side of humanities. Or... is it somehow weird to them to have completely evil entities in a fiction? Like they always complain when one is grey and not b&w but when there's a literal demon/force of evil/chaos... no they can't comprehend it?

well never mind that the discourse is killing me and I hope it dies because last year’s was way more than enough is2g that I still have fucking nightmares over the pennywise discourse, I’ll say that:

number one: I have a feeling a lot of people watched the first because finn w/olfhard was in it and they were expecting it to be stranger things and the first movie was kid-based enough that they could hang on to that hope until the second, but like........... sorry to say that’s nowhere near how it works

number two: none of these people actually read a king book or they’d know exactly what they’d be getting into ie extremely fucked up horror like guys king never was the #1 choice for comfortable reading I don’t get how you go watch anything that’s not shawshank redemption and expect a comfortable viewing experience 

number three: horror movies are by nature supposed to be uncomfortable - like, the entire point of good horror is that a) you have to put yourself in front of things that Are Not Comfortable To Look At and b) Achieve Some Kind Of Catharsis By The End or b2) Get Out Of The Movie Feeling Fucking Unsettled And Thinking About It, and I think IT is in category b), but like... going into horror movies assuming that it’s fake blood and everyone is happy at the end is ridiculous because the point is that people die during horrors and actually IT has a higher survival rate than average and the average stephen king book which says all

number four: the fact that people took a meme seriously just kills me because honestly, there is no single thing in the first movie that makes you assume pennywise is anything positive. none. and if anyone was expecting pennywise to go to pride marches even just having seen the first one... guys. it’s a killer clown. who eats children. and other people. he’s not going to pride marches. also the whole debate about the first scene is pointless because it was in the book and it was based on a real murder that happened in bangor when king was plotting the book, and the entire point was showing you that a) people are evil, b) pennywise is evil, c) the return of the ancient evil that is 100% bad comes with killing a gay person which automatically makes the killing monstrous/evil, and it’s been there since 1986, and it’s in the first thirty pages of the book so... just... read a wikipedia summary? read the first chapter? idk but people complaining about pennywise not being pro-lgbt is just out of this world ridiculous to me at least

number five: idk re your last question because I honestly don’t know anymore but it feels like today’s fandom has this thing where they make grey characters absolutely evil without a chance of repenting when they’re set up to change and then they actually end up with True Evil That Is Just Interested In That and they suddenly can’t recognize it and want to turn it into cute and cuddly or not threatening and honestly I don’t get it whatsoever. also as someone who reads horror/watches horror not to get scared (bc I don’t easily) but for how as a genre is really good for character development/having settings where people have to face their fears whether they want it or not (which is a thing I find interesting in fiction okay)/a few different kinds of cathartic viewing/reading (not counting the part where I watch bad slasher movies because I think they’re hilarious or where I find actually entertaining a lot of trashy horror ie the nightmare on elm street sequels) I really don’t know how to feel about people going into *horror* movies expecting the cute ship or stranger things 2.0 or not getting that the ancient evil creature that’s 100% evil and nothing else is a trope as old as the genre? I mean I honestly Do Not Get It, could be that lately horror movies haven’t been very mainstream and good and this one is an exception but still... it’s horror. based on a book by a guy who’s known for fucked up horror. research things maybe, but from what I’m seeing people don’t :/

tldr: I think your points are all good and tbqh most horror movies don’t do the happy ending (actually it in comparison to a lot has.. a.. relatively less bad ending than most ACTUALLY the movie’s ending has fixed one of the things that irked me most about the book’s ending so GOOD) and people are assuming that most entertainment these days is harmless, but... idk man. I just want the pennywise discourse to die because last year was enough XDD

[gotatext]

PREFERRED NAME — nora. i think i started going by it in like, 2009?? my full name is eleanor but i hated it n thought it was way too pretentious n i never felt like it fitted me so when i started writing on forums i decided i’d be a nora rather than eleanor and then my school friends called me it and it just kinda stuck, the only person who calls me eleanor is my mum

PRONOUNS — she / her / ethereal being beyond comprehension

AGE — 23 but i tell everyone im 21 because even tho time is literally fake im desperately clinging to that fleeting thing we call youth trying to catch it like smoke in my hands

PINTEREST — i actually have two. this one is my main one where i just cram all my shit n i’ve had it for years and some of its super unorganised. then i also have this one which is one i made for exclusively female characters. it started as mythological figures but now its like, women in literature and the occasional oc as well. variety is the spice of life!

DISCORD — lindsay lohan’s meth#8664

TUMBLR (PERSONAL/MUSE/RPH) — i used to be froseths but now im pvrscphones cos ya gal is a fucking whore for mythology 

OTHER SOCIAL MEDIA YOU’D LIKE TO SHARE — oi oi guvna ere’s me twitta. also here’s my letterboxd n my goodreads if anyone still uses tht

MYER-BRIGGS — enfp / infp border .... the classic profile of a lit student

HP HOUSE — hufflepuff, am fuckin mad. 

ZODIAC — libra which is a joke because i am in no way balanced but i guess i AM indecisive and a peacekeeper so?

DO YOU BELIEVE IN ASTROLOGY? — i believe it when it says good shits gonna happen in my life and blame it if bad shit happens but i don’t strongly follow it i just find it interesting

HOW OLD WERE YOU WHEN YOU STARTED RPING ON TUMBLR — maybe like 14?? my first rp blog here is literally so embarassing i wrote as clove from the hunger games n my best friend irl wrote cato :/ it was wild

WHAT YEAR WAS IT? — like 9 years ago?? 2010 maybs

NAME A RANDOM ROLEPLAY THAT STICKS OUT IN YOUR MEMORY — me n my friend ellie made this really cool group the summer before we left for uni which was loosely based on a concept mentioned mayb once in the divergent series, but it gave us loads of freedom to make it our own thing. it was called the fringe n it was like..... this dystopian society where people with different genes were cut off from the rest of society n lived in overrun slum cities where different groups had like, a monopoly over weapons, produce, etc.... my character jack was the leader of this lost-boy-esque tribe called the wolf pack who were hunters n used to run across the rooftops wearing the skins of animals they’d killed and engage in tribal rituals with sacrifices to the gods n shit. sounds lame but everyone there was so invested in their character arcs that it was a shame to see it go. but ! it kind of reached its end point so we blew it up w nukes n they all died. tragic.

WHAT WEIRD ANIMAL WOULD YOU HAVE AS A PET IF IT WAS REALISTIC — a fox?? do ppl keep foxes? idk i’ve always just felt a sense of connection w them like when a fox stares at me im like this shit is life i am living and breathing in this bitch.... visceral

NAME THE FIRST SONG ON YOUR DISCOVER WEEKLY ON SPOTIFY OR THE FIRST SONG THAT COMES ON APPLE MUSIC / ITUNES SHUFFLE — everbody party tonight by cobra man n summer girl by haim..... not my usual stuff but big summer chillin vibes,.....

NAME A BOOK THAT YOU READ IN SCHOOL THAT YOU SURPRISINGLY LIKED — lord of the flies and also the handmaid’s tale. one of assignments was to write a chapter from another character’s perspective n i chose moira

NAME A BOOK YOU HATED THAT MOST PEOPLE LIKED — skellig. fuck off with ur asprin ugly bat man i don’t care. also of mice and men. don’t care about the rabbits or curley’s goddamn wife.

WHAT TV SHOW DID YOU RECENTLY BINGE? — im not a big binger bc i find it jst makes me depressed if i watch tv all day but im nearly finished stranger things season 3 n i recently finished euphoria (big rec but proceed w caution as quite triggering content)

FAVOURITE QUOTE — cool girl speech from gone girl. but also “there’s something dangerous about the boredom of teenage girls” i know its like.... such an overused quote but it really encapsulates this kind of feral girlhood that a few of my characters like bridget n greta have tapped into. i also loved the line “i feel like i could eat the world raw” from song of achilles, that really captures this kind of.... pure n childlike enthusiasm tht i wanna achieve w rory 

LINK TO A VINE THAT EXUDES YOUR ‘ENERGY’ — this is my energy completely am always covered in glitter n staring broodily out of the windows of ubers at 4am like im in the sad bit of an indie film 

DO YOU WRITE OUTSIDE OF RP? WHAT DO YOU WRITE? — uhh.... not as much as i shd.... i want to be a writer so i shd be makin some effort to get my stuff Out Into The World but im just not.... lol. ive done a lot of poetry collections . i wnt to finish a novel @ some point too.

THREE YOUTUBERS YOU STILL TRUST — bold of you to assume i trust any youtubers

A CELEBRITY CRUSH THAT JUST WON’T QUIT — id literally die for saoirse ronan n timothee chalamet :/ chance perdomo also owns my ass. 

EVER MEET A CELEBRITY? SHARE YOUR STORY — i once high-fived dani harmer, the actress who played tracy beaker. today my sister text me tryin to make me guess what celebrity she just saw on holiday in wales and for ages she let me think it was timmothee but it was actually bradley walsh from the chase :/

WHAT’S YOUR PICTURE-PERFECT NIGHT? — i am in a bomb ass crop top and mini skirt, several scrunchies in my hair, glitter all over my face, wearing cowboy boots. we eat dinner in a trendy but affordable pub that doubles up as a cocktail bar n then we drink zombies or sex on the beaches n go to a rave where everyone is on the same wavelength n i share drugs with girls in the toilets and we swap numbers knowing we will never text each other but its ok bc in that moment we feel like we are soulmates and everyone is super drunk n touching everyone else n its all very visceral and we walk through the woods when the rave ends and lie in the grass because we wish to suck out all the marrow of life 

A CONSPIRACY THEORY YOU KINDA BELIEVE IN — princess diana was murdered 

ARE ALIENS REAL? — maybe the real aliens are the friends we made along the way

PLAY ANY PHONE GAMES? WHICH ONES? — love island game im addicted and way too invested in my fictional relationship with bobby, a cartoon

WHAT’S A FILM YOU LOVED WHEN YOU WERE YOUNG AND RECENTLY WATCHED, ONLY TO FIND OUT YOU DON’T ANYMORE — bold of u to assume i remember my childhood. but if we’re talking last 10 years angust, thongs n perfect snogging is so so cringe 

DO YOU COLLECT ANYTHING? — pairs of glasses belonging to other ppl when they break / get new ones even though i can see perfectly well. 

WHAT’S SOMETHING YOU WANT TO LEARN MORE ABOUT BUT YOU’RE TOO LAZY? — mythology...... always a craving and a wish i’d read like ancient texts but my school wasn’t good enough to do greek or latin or any of that shit n even tho i could read english translations i cant be bothered. also criminal psychology

THREE LANGUAGES YOU DON’T SPEAK, BUT WISH YOU COULD — italian, french and latin

MOVIE YOU’VE WATCHED MORE THAN 5 TIMES — ladybird, about time, angus thongs, shrek 2, what we do in the shadows, the history boys, atonement, coraline, the breakfast club, ferris bueller’s day off

NAME A FICTIONAL CHARACTER FROM TV/FILM/MOVIE/GAME/BOOK THAT YOU FIND YOURSELF PROJECTING ON / YOU RELATE TO — cecilia lisbon. rue in euphoria. alison brie in glow. adam parrish in the raven cycle. richard papen. olivia cooke’s character in thoroughbreds. allen ginsberg in kill your darlings. lily in sex education. holliday grainger’s character in the film animals --- i too am an aspiring writer who never writes and just gets drunk instead .

DO YOU FOLLOW ANY SPORTS? WHO DO YOU ROOT FOR? — no. cba

HOBBIES BESIDES WASTING AWAY HERE? — i go to the movies basically every day bcos i work in a cinema. im also a voracious reader n i occasionally do theatre or costume making

PLUG A TV SHOW / MOVIE / BOOK / VIDEO GAME / ETC… YOU WISH MORE PEOPLE WOULD CHECK OUT — where the wild things are (film by spike jonze).  animals. beats. the book fen by daisy johnson and a girl is a half formed thing by eimar mcbride. andy warhol’s biography from a to b and back again

WHOSE BRAIN WOULD YOU LIKE TO PICK, ALIVE OR DEAD? — phoebe waller-bridge on how i get her life. carey mulligan on how she got to be such a good actress n how i can become her. maybs wes anderson. maybs gillian flynn. i tend to listen to podcasts w the ppl i really wanna pick the brains of.

TEAM EDWARD OR JACOB? — edward :/

LAST MOVIE SEEN IN THEATRE — blinded by the light n i lovd it

DO YOU STILL READ? — when i finished uni i kinda got out of the habit but this week i finished two books so ive set myself the challenge of a book a week.

IF SO, WHAT ARE YOU CURRENTLY READING? — i finished song of achilles yesterday n i also finished call me by your name yesterday. started circe by madeline miller today, im also partway through milkman by anna burns and the plays of annie barker

ON A SCALE OF 1-10, HOW MUCH DID YOU HATE FILLING THIS OUT? – 3 i didnt hate it bcos at heart i am self-indulgent and love fashioning some sense of self when i feel lost in a world that is scary and constantly changing 

[specificpollsaboutbooks]

Fiction Works with Footnotes

Round 2

Comments from submitters under the readmore

Bartimaeus :

these books have footnotes by the narrator who is a cool magical djinn and theyre super fun bc they allow him to elaborate on worldbuilding or make snarky remarks that wouldnt otherwise fit in the narrative :3

it's been years since I read them but I still remember them fondly for their fascinating world-building, interesting characters, and their wit, which was often on display in the footnotes

This series is fun and the footnotes add information AND are funny! Seriously one of the best YA fantasy series

the series is about a demon named bartimaeus who gets summoned by a teenage magician and it's written from the demon's perspective so all the footnotes are from his perspective as well and they're really cool because they give more information about the worldbuilding AND they're also really fucking funny because bartimaeus is a sarcastic bitch most of the time <3

This series has a lovable (to me) snarky morally gray protagonist. Also it is a demon (djinn).

Bartimaeus is one of the main characters* of the trilogy**. He's a djinni summoned by the young magician Nathaniel. The story is set in a world where magicians, by binding the powers of magical beings from the Other World, hold all the political power over non-magical commoners.*** Bartimaeus, as a djinni****, can think about many things all at once and this is represented in the story as footnotes.*****

*One would say that HE is The main character (he would say that), but there are two other (similarly) flawed and interesting main characters.

**Actually it's a 'sequence' with a prequel book set in ancient times, but we're seperating that one from the OG story now.

***It's slavery and oppression. Let's call it what it is. Magicians are not good people.

****And as a quite extraordinary and humble creature.

***** Like this! :D

2001 : A Space Odyssey :

arthur c. clarke wrote notes for the whole series but 2001 is the most famous, one of the first hard sci fi to break into popular culture. clarke wrote in detail about the real world science and technology that inspired the story and was really optimistic about what the future would hold. it was written in 1968 when space travel and computers were new and emerging technology and much of it holds up today

[flintsjohn]

LGBT+ BOOKS REC - part 1: Fiction

Alright so this is my very first book rec masterpost and I tried to fit all the information I can remember. I’ve started reading books with lgbt+ themes mainly in the last year and have found many of the titles in other recs so I’m sure that a lot of the books here are not new to anyone, but I’d like to share anyway! In bold are my personal favourites, and the authors with the * are (as far as I know) actually lgbt. If you’d like a peek of what’s on my tbr list here’s my goodreads! If you have more titles to share or recommend I’d love to hear about them! 

Aciman, A. – Call Me by Your Name (adult, m/m, contemporary)

bi mains

cw: underage relationship, cheating

Albertalli, B. / *Silvera, A. – What If It’s Us (ya, m/m, contemporary) 

gay mains

meet cute but a kinda bittersweet ending (bc Adam Silvera tbh)

Albertalli, B. – Simon Vs. The Homosapiens Agenda (ya, m/m, contemporary)

gay main, gay/black/jewish love interest, poc

simon is the definition of disaster gay and i love him

cw: homophobia, outing, blackmail

Albertalli, B. – Leah on the Offbeat (ya, f/f, contemporary) 

bi main, bi and black love interest

is part of the svtha ‘verse so the characters are the same!!

*Alire Sáenz, B. – Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe (ya, m/m, contemporary) 

gay mains, both latinos

a sequel is in the works!!

cw: homophobia

*Baldwin, J. – Giovanni’s Room (adult, m/m)

gay main

cw: internalized homophobia, homophobia, misogyny

Bardugo, L. – Six of Crows duology (ya, fantasy) 

there’s a m/m relationship in the second book (gay and bi mains) and a gay side char (also basically everyone can be read as non-straight)

there’s also a LOT of diversity as in poc and disabled people so!! 

cw: ableism, violence, death

Barry, S. – Days Without End (adult, m/m, historical) 

alright so i,,, loved this book but also it was fucking hard to read because it’s basically written how irish people speak english?? so it’s not the easiest thing to read but it’s good!!!

cw: war, death, racism

*Danforth, E. – The Miseducation of Cameron Post (ya, f/f, contemporary) 

lesbian main, lgbt minor chars, poc 

cw: homophobia, conversion therapy, self-harm

*Forster, E. M. – Maurice (adult, m/m, historical)

this is an absolute classic and i love this gay ass book

Goslee, S.J. – Whatever (ya, m/m, contemporary) 

bi main and gay love interest 

cw: internalized homophobia, (brief) homophobia

Gregorio, I.W. – None of the Above (ya, f/m, contemporary) 

intersex main 

cw: homophobia, transphobia, depression

*Isherwood, C. – A Single Man (adult, m/m)

gay main

i found this a little hard to read bc i’m not usually one for highly introspective writing, but i’m still glad i read it!

Jenkins Reid, T. – The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo (adult, f/f and f/m, historical) 

bi latina main, lesbian love interest, gay minor char 

i started this book thinking it would be dumb and by the end i was crying my eyes out 

cw: homophobia, death, abusive relationship, cheating

*LaCour, N. – Everything Leads to You (ya, f/f, contemporary)

lesbian main

if i have to be honest i found this a little underwhelming considering all the praise i heard, but it’s still very cute!!

Lee, M. – The Gentleman’s Guide to Vice and Virtue (ya, m/m, historical) 

bi main, gay and biracial minor char 

this book is SO much fun honestly!!!

badass female character who’s the main in the sequel!!

cw: homopbhia, racism, child abuse, epilepsy

*Levithan, D. – Two Boys Kissing (ya, m/m, contemporary) 

gay and trans chars (it’s many different little stories that are somehow all connected)

*Levithan, D. – Boy Meets Boy (ya, m/m, contemporary)

gay main and minor chars, trans minor char

cw: homophobia, transphobia

Miller, M. – The Song of Achilles (adult, m/m, historical) 

listen i know yall know about this already but still,, probably one of my favourites ever.

cw: death

*Mitchell, S. (ed.) – All Out (ya, various, anthology) 

short stories, own-voices, various sexual/gender identities and genres

i loved every single one of these??? 

Nelson, J. – I’ll Give You the Sun (ya, m/m, contemporary) 

gay main (alternating pov)

this was so cute even though the character’s sexuality/relationship isn’t exactly central to the story!

*Ness, P. – Release (ya, m/m, contemporary/magical realism) 

gay main (adam is an icon and i love him)

this goes for every patrick ness book i ever read: i found it hard to follow the plot sometimes bc there are usually two different storylines going on at once and i can’t really connect them, but he has a way of writing characters that just sticks with me

cw: homophobia, sexual harassment

*Ness, P. – More Than This (ya, m/m, sci-fi) 

gay main 

cw: suicide, death, homophobia, outing

Ngan, N. - Girls of Paper and Fire (ya, f/f, fantasy)

lesbian main and love interest

the world is based on asian mythology/folklore!!

author’s working on the sequel!

cw: sex work, rape, slavery

Proulx, A. – Brokeback Mountain (adult, m/m, historical) 

short story

i saw the movie like a million times and i was still not ready for this 

cw: death, homophobia

*Renault, M. – The Last of the Wine (adult, m/m, historical) 

ancient greece setting!!! 

from what i gather this is not the gayest book you could possibly read by mary renault but it’s so good 

cw: death, violence, age difference

Rio, M. L. – If We Were Villains (adult, m/m, contemporary) 

3 gay/bi mains 

think the secret history but gayer and with shakespeare

i’m honestly still crying over this and the last few pages in particular killed me

cw: death, mentions of suicide, violence

*Russo, M. – If I Were Your Girl (ya, f/m, contemporary) 

trans main and bi minor char 

cw: suicide attempt, depression, transphobia, misgendering, rape attempt/mention, bullying, outing

Sharpe, T. – Far From You (ya, f/f, contemporary) 

bi main (lesbian love interest, she’s already dead when the story begins but it goes back and forth with flashbacks) 

cw: death, depression

*Silvera, A. – They Both Die at the End (ya, m/m, contemporary) 

gay and bi mains 

this goes for every single adam silvera book: i love them but i absolutely hate them bc they tear me apart every time

cw: death (duh)

*Silvera, A. – More Happy Than Not (ya, m/m, contemporary) 

gay main

cw: amnesia, suicide/suicide attempt, internalized homophobia

*Silvera, A. – History is All You Left Me (ya, m/m, contemporary) 

gay main and minor chars 

cw: death, depression, adhd, cheating

Soria, D. – Beneath the Citadel (ya, m/m, fantasy) 

bi, gay, ace mains (most are also poc) 

holy shit this was so good and i kinda,,, didnt expect it bc i had initially only picked it up bc of the cover (which is stunning btw)

cw: death, panic attacks.

*Talley, R. – Lies We Tell Ourselves (ya, f/f, historical) 

lesbian mains 

this was not an easy read by any means but by the end i think it was really worth it!!

cw: racism, homophobia

*Waters, S. – Tipping the Velvet (adult, f/f, historical fiction) 

lesbian mains

cw: homophobia, prostitution

(i only read this one by sarah waters so far but all her books are gay so be sure to check the others as well lol)

[gracelandmp3]

bro.. tell me how u feel abt umbrella academy.. like characters u like, critiques or fav scenes... pwease im dying

bro,,,, im so deeply ambivalent about this show bro theres bits of it i LOVE sooooo much but theres bits that r rly extremely hHHHHH like the politics. do not hold up to any sort of close reading at all theres kind of a lot of ugly subtext its Real Bad

i watched it like a month ago so i cant remember much abt specific bits / scenes i remember liking the editing and the way they used music a LOT but cant think of specific examples other than the run boy run bit, the queen fight scene, & the hazy shade of winter cover which slaps 

bUT honestly if u ask me how i feel about it like. the thing i find most interesting at the end of the day is the characters i like their relationships (luther/allison dont interact) w each other and i think theyre a rly good and compelling look at a Fambily thats a hot fuckin mess its kind of the same reason i loved haunting of hill house like.. i love when ppl use genre fiction to do character studies 

i love klaus w my whole heart hes extremely a comfort character i just watched half the 1975 coachella set bc i was gonna skip it but then they played its not living (if its not with you) which is a Klaus Song so i stuck it out for like. so much longer than i needed to,,,, i love a king who came back from the dead bc god doesnt like him i love gay people hes so valid and sUCH a big gender energy? @ ua costume designers open. the leather pants. stop. having them be custom made and unavailable for off the rack purchase

me and my friends made a whole ass klaus playlist which got Very out of hand its like 75 songs we also kind of went on a several week long bender thru robert sheehans entire filmography (shoutout andy @fruitbi​ he was the impetus for this) bc his twink energy was Off The Charts and we were all kinning,,,, do not watch mortal engines its not worth it his hair is really bad in that movie 

what else uhh,,,, vanya is a lesbian ellen page has never convincingly played a straight person in her life, diego is a trans man, blade runner 2049 wishes its robot housewife character was half as compelling as grace is, fuck blue lives luthers a cop, whatsisname they cast to play five is the PERFECT 50 y/o trapped in a childs body he looks so just. ancient i would die for this weird teen

[rawringryu]

tEn cHaRaCtErS

I was tagged in this meme by the awesomely rad @francisthegreat whom I’m lucky to have as my friend :) Also I’m sorry this is so late! I didn’t see you tag me until like yesterday, I had exams this week haha. This was very hard to make because I have a LOT of feelings.

Ten characters from ten fandoms:

This list is going in ascending order, meaning my very favorite faves will be last on the list.

10. Bill Cipher (Gravity Falls) First of all on this list is this asshole, gosh I have no idea why but there was a period of time where I absolutely loved Gravity Falls and I shipped with a human form with Dipper mostly because of the amazing art and some pretty complex fics written for the ship. It was a wild ride and honestly thinking about this phase of my life always makes me feel weird, like I liked him purely because I liked reading shippy fics starring him. 

9. Pearl (Steven Universe) This one is kinda weird too? Idk man I absolutely love Pearl’s design and the way her character is written. I’m not in loop with the SU fandom because ugh it’s not a happy place to be but I absolutely love browsing art of her. I love how she’s such a broken character for a kids show! I used to read SU meta and they’d go on and on about how she’s a shit character, an asshole towards Amethyst and toxic. But tbh, I feel like she’s just a complex character that made bad choices at times, she’s trying to get better, she’s trying to cope with the loss of Rose someone she probably loved in more ways than one and how she felt Rose chose Greg over her, and now she’s gone. I mean, she just can’t let go and I think that’s very human.

8. Pitch Black (Rise of the Guardians) Alright but this fandom was the first one I’d ever been in once I started out in tumblr. It was very cool and leaves bittersweet memories tbh, I absolutely adored the art and fics this fandom churned out, I used to ship Pitch and Jack Frost. The thing about Pitch is the fact that the fandom practically merged the movie with the lore from the original Guardians of Childhood the movie is based on. In the book, Pitch has such a tragic backstory, his name was Kozmotis Pitchinier and he was the best general of the Golden Army. After capturing all fearlings, he was designated to guard the prison of their imprisonment , he was haunted by their whispers and pleading and his only solace was his daughter, of whom he kept a photograph of in a locket. But one day, sensing his weakness, the prisoners imitated her voice and hypnotized Kozmotis to believe she was being held inside with them. Frantic, he opened the doors to release her, but was instead possessed by ten thousand Fearlings.

Sorry for the long summary but I just want people to know more abt his backstory haha.

7. Loki (MCU) I didn’t really know about Loki until I watched Thor: The Dark World in the cinema and I was instantly in love despite this movie being the absolutely worst of all the MCU movies, which looking back I’d have to agree. Loki is yet another tragic character whom I’m sure everyone already knows about. I think Loki is a vulnerable character who tries to be good, wants to be good but he just can’t, or he tries and other people just won’t accept him. He’s a frost giant and those people are considered monsters, how can he not be bitter that he’s the very thing ha’s been indoctrinated to hate and fear. He is a very complex character that the MCU practically does not do enough justice mostly because he’s portrayed as a villain in the movies. But I wouldn’t consider him a villain, more like an antihero, nobody trusts him and he doesn’t think anybody can love him either. I’ve only read a bit of his comics and I gotta say Loki deserves so much more than what he gets.

6. Dr Strange (MCU) (I’m breaking the one character per fandom rule idc) I know a shit ton of people absolutely HATE Dr Strange, and for a variety of reasons too. They hate him because Benedict Cumberbatch plays him and hating on BC is practically the new edgy on tumblr. People think Dr Strange should have been played by an american asian and all that yada plus the ancient one being whitewashed. While I agree some aspects of Dr Strange is problematic, I think people need to give it more credit, at least watch it for the cool effects that the stupidly huge amount of people worked on. Also as an asian, I can guarantee you most people outside of America doesn’t give two shits about these controversies and movies should be a source of pleasure instead of thinking about all the negative shit only. Dr Strange deserves so much more, he’s an interesting and while he does share some qualities with Tony Stark, he’s his own character with his own issues. Plus his comics are very fun to read, come on, magic in the Marvel is such an awesome concept. Fuck you haters, I just wanna have a good time with the magic man.

5. Sherlcok Holmes (BBC Sherlock) This is also one of my earliest fandoms on tumblr. Sherlock season 4 absolutely ruined it with all the queer baiting and the shitty plot. But Sherlock had always left bittersweet memories for me too. Mostly because of the absolutely amazing and complex fics written for it, I will never understand how fic authors do it but Sherlock fics were amazing and I would gladly choose these fics over canon any time. 

4. Asuka Langley Soryuu (Neon Genesis Evangelion) I have so many feelings about this bitch right here, honestly one of the most relate-able characters for me. Asuka is a very human character, she’s very proud and has emotional issues. She was considered the best of the best and was trained to be an Eva pilot since she was four because she’s a child genius. However she has a tragic backstory, her mother underwent some tests and became insane, believing that Asuka's doll was her daughter and refusing to acknowledge the real Asuka, referring to her as "that girl over there." She eventually commits suicide by hanging herself; Asuka found her body when she went to tell her the good news that she had been chosen to become an Eva pilot. She couldn’t let go that Shinji the main character was starting to become a better pilot than her despite training for months only. She suppresses a lot of her emotions and had unhealthy ways of coping. I just want her to be happy.

3. Edward Elric (Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood) Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood is what I would consider the holy grail of anime tbh. Edward is just about the most selfless person out there in the fictional world of anime. I love the fact that Ed and Al started their journey off with mildly selfish reasons that is to return their body parts whom they lost to in a deal with Truth to bring back their mom which ultimately failed. In the end, Edward is willing to lose his alchemy, the very things that defines him, that started this whole mess, that is the source of his joy and misery for the sake of gaining his brother’s body back instead of selfishly using the Philosopher’s stone that’s made using human souls. I just want this shorty to be happy and I’m glad he is with that satisfying end.

2. Hitsugaya Toshiro (Bleach) The reason this guy is ranked so high in my list is mostly because, he’s been there for me since I was a smol kid, I’ve had a crush on him ever since I was 10 and I could never let go. He’s the one fictional character whom I still fallback to every time things stagnant, I love reading fics about him, he’s just so cool! He’s a child genius with a sword that can shoot ice dragons. Plus he’s always written in such a complex way in fics, Kubo missed his fucking chance by not expanding more about his character in the manga, but clearly Kubo is incompetent when it comes to plot so whatever I guess.

1. Kylo Ren (Star Wars) The Star Wars fandom or specifically the Kylux subfandom is probably the happiest plave I’ve ever been in since forever. It’s the first time I’ve ever talked to anyone at all online, I only lurked around in other fandoms but Star Wars made me able to brave the fandom and talk to people in it, I’ve met so many amazing people and read amazing fics in it, it’s mostly due to the KRB discord chat that I’m still going strong with this fandom. I absolutely love Kylo Ren and can he please crush me between his thighs. The thing that attracted me to him besides his unconventionally attractive appearance is his emotional vulnerability. Kylo has been neglected by Leia and Han as a kid and sent away to jedi school with Luke, he’s been manipulated by Snoke as a kid and Leia and Han just don’t think they can take care of him properly, they’re afraid of him and always too busy with their work, Kylo wasn’t planned, the way their relationship worked just wasn’t ideal for child rearing, Kylo was left alone with Luke, unable to understand why his parents don’t want him anymore, how he was too emotional for the jedi way. While what Kylo did was not justifiable with all that murdering, it’s not a stretch to say that he was very mush a victim of circumstances too. I related to Kylo a lot as I’d been sort of neglected as a child too, both my parents were always busy with work and I only saw them during mealtimes and before bed.

Sorry for the long post ya’ll! I have so many emotions about fictional characters haha.

I’ll be tagging @magicandmalice , @omega-hux, @tezzypants, @darktenshi17, @comraderevelin, @kylocatastrophe, @dargason-under-the-fantasia, @oblioknowlton, @evilblubber, @plasticpill and @glass-oceans that is if ya’ll want to, I had fun and went super overboard.

[unbadgr]

over the past week or so i’ve been listening to the Brave New World audio book.

i remember this being one of the few books i was assigned to read in high school that i really liked. so i thought hey i got some audible credits lying around, might as well.

(cut bc i got rambly)

man. i forgot how how fucked up the book is lmao. like i was retroactively offended that my edgelord 15yo ass liked this book.

but then i kept listening and i kinda rediscovered why i love it so much.

this is one of the very very very very very VERY few books that include and describe Native Americans in honest detail. specifically, Pueblo tribes in New Mexico. a few months ago i read through a few history books of Acoma Pueblo (my tribe!) and was really surprised at how accurate the descriptions of the Pueblo rituals and legends were! not to mention the Acoma themselves were mentioned several times which kinda filled me with pride like hell yeah my people are immortalized in western literature!! and i imagine i felt the same pride when i first read it when i was 15.

whats even more interesting listening to the story over ten years later, is that i fucking KNOW where the author, Huxley got his descriptions and how he used them is fucking profound to me. the Malpais, from what i understand, are a fictional tribe within the book based on an actual ancient pueblo settlement in New Mexico. BUT based on the descriptions in the book of the environment and the rituals, Malpais is straight up a re-dressed and re-tooled Acoma. like. my people are straight up a huge plot point and setting for this book that is widely read. Malpais IS Acoma in Brave New World.

here’s the thing tho, those legends that Huxley borrowed from were never supposed to be common knowledge. they actually came out of a series of interviews of the Hunt family (kiiiind of Acoma rebels/exiles) in which they basically spilled the beans of the entirety of Acoma origin legends and descriptions of all the sacred rituals. (disclaimer: i can’t, as an Acoma, condone anyone looking up and reading the actual transcript of these talks BUT it’s still some neat stuff to look into)

now, i don’t know if Huxley knew about the controversy surrounding these transcripts but i think he managed to subvert it by editing some of the ritual descriptions as well as attributing it to  what essentially a fictional Pueblo tribe in AD 2540. like i was kind of shocked at some of the info that was given in the book like ‘omg ur not supposed to know this!!!’ but also it was so out of context and heavily edited that i was like ‘ok, this is passable but just barely. and also most people wouldn’t know wtf they were reading anyways unless they were already familiar with Pueblo history’.

SO that was all really neat to re-discover essentially as a completely different person than i was as a sophomore in high school.

but aside from the Native stuff, i was having a really hard time trying to grasp what the ‘lesson’ was of the story. cause no character or society in the book was completely “right.” and i was getting kinda frustrated w the author like wtf are you trying to put in my head?? but in the last few chapters i think i finally got it.

happiness is not the end-all be-all in life. you cannot be truly happy all the time forever and ever but that’s okay. ‘cause life is more than just being happy- there is satisfaction and growth to be found in the suffering and painful parts of it as well. getting rid of art and science and truth are too high of a price to pay for any kind of happiness. art/science/truth are freedom and even tho its messy and sometimes unpleasant, it’s worth it.

and i think that’s just real neat.

[freewlll-remade-blog]

tagged by @dunmerhealer​ i lov u but this is so long

Rules: Answer all questions and tag 20 people.

1. What is your nickname?

Chupa, Chupacabra, fancy Lancey!

2. What is your zodiac sign?

taurus!!

3. What is your favorite book series?

the harry potter books. i’m questioning ron as well

4. Do you believe in aliens or ghosts?

yes!! absolutely!! i 100% believe in both. 

5. Who is your favorite author?

i used to really be into jerry spinelli, especially the book smiles to go. 

6. What is your current favorite song?

lowlife by poppy omg

7. What is your favorite word?

lonely, bismuth, charismatic are my favorite words. 

8. What was the last song you listened to?

bliss by muse!

9. What TV show would you recommend for everybody to watch?

pretty little liars and izombie!! both are incredible. 

10. What is your favorite movie to watch when you’re feeling down?

ummmm deadpool omg

11. Do you play video games?

yeah!! skyrim is a big special interest for me!!

12. What is your biggest fear?

suffocation and people i care about being disappointed in me. 

13. What is your best quality, in your opinion?

i’m always willing to try my best and i’m passionate!

14. What is your worst quality, in your opinion?

ummm i’m too hard on myself all the time and i give up easily. 

15. What is your favorite season?

winter!

16. Are you in a relationship?

nope!! but i am crushing on someone.

17. What is something you miss from your childhood?

my parents not hating me lmao

18. Who is your best friend?

um probably sage, miles, scout, or my friend tj! i hope the people i mention consider me their close friends too ;;; 

19. What is your eye color?

brown and gold !!

20. What is your hair color?

caramel brown

21. Who is someone you love?

my best friends! see #18. 

22. Who is someone you trust?

my bestest friend in the whole world tj

23. Who is someone you think about often?

see question 18 and also keith kogane

24. Are you currently excited about/for something?

voltron season 4 and grand rapids comic con!

25. What is your biggest obsession?

skyrim !!! oh my gosh i love skyrim so much

26. What was your favorite TV show as a child?

i don’t know... i didn’t watch a ton of tv as a kid.

27. Do you have any unusual phobias?

i am terrified to death of ants!

28. Do you prefer to be in front of the camera or behind it?

either! usually behind but w/e

29. What is your favorite hobby?

uhhh i collect books in skyrim and i enjoy thinking about death

30. What was the last book you read?

the harry potter books!!!

31. What was the last movie you watched?

uhh either deadpool or sleeping beauty

32. What musical instruments do you play, if any?

uhhh i sing but i can play bass clarinet fairly well

33. What is your favorite animal?

an octopus hands down. or a bulldog idk

34. What are your top 5 favorite Tumblr blogs that you follow?

uhhhhhh @dunmerhealer​ @gta-v​ @cryptidquill​ @depressionmeal​ and @sayakuro​ are all lovely

35. What superpower do you wish you had?

shape shifting or getting a good nights sleep

36. When and where do you feel most at peace?

while playing skyrim, singing

37. What makes you smile?

my friends and my dog!

38. What sports do you play, if any?

i do competitive swimming and avoiding my emotionally abusive parents 

39. What is your favorite drink?

cherry cola or root beer from mug n bun

40. Are you afraid of heights?

eh not really

41. What is your biggest pet peeve?

people talking/making a bunch of noise during my tv shows

42. Have you ever been to a concert?

yeah! 

43. When you were little, what did you want to be when you grew up?

a potion maker!!!

44. What fictional world would you like to live in?

tamriel or w/e universe the sims takes place in 

45. What is something you worry about?

besides literally everything? whether people hate me or not

46. Are you scared of the dark?

depends, it scares me at times

47. Do you like to sing?

yes yes yes i love to sing

48. Have you ever skipped school?

yeah, a couple times;;; 

49. What is your favorite place on the planet?

my bed. 

50. Where would you like to live?

ideally? the arctic circle bc it’s cold and dry without mosquitoes but probably somewhere like canada or something where im not gonna be a victim of a hate crime

51. Do you have any pets?

uhhhh yeah! i have a dog and a cat and one fish!

52. Are you more of an early bird or a night owl?

night owl, definitely. 

53. Do you like sunrises or sunsets better?

uhhh sunrise when i’m awake for them

54. Do you know how to drive?

yeah but i don’t like it...

55. Do you prefer earbuds or headphones?

earbuds are easier for me but either way idc

56. Have you ever had braces?

nope! my teeth are the only straight thing about me

57. What is your favorite genre of music?

i like everything except reggae and country, but i usually listen to rap, pop, and alt rock/pop

58. Who is your hero?

ummmm maybe marsha p. johnson...

59. Do you read comic books?

sometimes, i prefer graphic novels. 

60. What makes you the most angry?

a lot of things but mostly people who are mean to ppl in the service industry (servers, customer service ppl, etc)

61. Do you prefer to read on an electronic device or with a real book?

it totally depends on what i’m reading.

62. What is your favorite subject in school?

history probably. i love ancient history. 

63. Do you have any siblings?

just one. but.... i don’t like him much. 

64. What was the last thing you bought?

scab blood and liquid latex. 

65. How tall are you?

5′6 i think?

66. Can you cook?

yeah! i love to cook!!! :3

67. What are three things that you love?

tes (especially skyrim), my friends, and my dog

68. What are three things that you hate?

people talking during my shows, clusters of bugs, and the bubbling thing pancakes do

69. What is your sexual orientation?

im a gay ol boy

70. Where do you currently live?

michigan!!

71. Who was the last person you texted?

ummm tj

72. When was the last time you cried?

like yesterday oh my god

73. Who is your favorite YouTuber?

i like dan and phil, and i like buzzfeed for buzzfeed unsolved.

74. Do you like to take selfies?

... yeah

75. What is your favorite app?

when i had a smartphone, i loved snapchat

76. What is your relationship with your parent(s) like?

..... no comment. 

77. What is your favorite foreign accent?

i don’t have one....

78. What is a place that you’ve never been to, but you want to visit?

petra in jordan!!

79. What is your favorite number?

420 ayyyyyyy

80. Do you find outer space of the deep ocean to be more interesting?

deep ocean but i’m scared of both bc i’m scared of wide open spaces

81. Do you consider yourself to be a daredevil?

at best an adrenaline junkie? 

82. Are you allergic to anything?

nope!

83. Can you wiggle your ears?

yeah! i taught myself how. 

84. How often do you admit that you were wrong about something?

not often. blame it on the fact that im a taurus

85. Do you prefer the forest or the beach?

the forest. i’m not a fan of the beach...

86. What is your favorite piece of advice that anyone has ever given you?

that i need to figure out other people’s love language to have better relationships with people

87. Are you a good liar?

yeah... 

88. What is your Hogwarts House?

im hufflepuff as huffle-fuck

89. Do you talk to yourself?

yeah, or i talk to teeny. teeny is a voice in my head ig?

90. Are you an introvert or an extrovert?

im actually really extroverted!

91. Do you keep a journal/diary?

no. i’m not very good at keeping up with one

92. Do you believe in second chances?

no, but i give them to people anyways

93. Do you believe that people are capable of change?

not really.

94. Are you ticklish?

not if anyone asks!

95. Have you ever been on a plane?

yeah! i love flying on planes actually!

96. Do you have any piercings?

yeah i used to but all ear piercings get infected.

97. What fictional character do you wish was real?

shiro. i think.... i think he would be proud of all i’ve done...

98. Do you have any tattoos?

yeah! i have a moon on my inner arm near my elbow, harry potter tattoos on my inner ankles, and a bee on my outer left ankle. all small, all stick and poke

99. What is the best decision that you’ve made in your life so far?

coming out as trans ig?

100. Do you believe in karma?

yeah, kinda. i more believe “talk shit, get hit”

101. Do you wear glasses or contacts?

glasses!

102. Do you want children?

not really...

103. Who is the smartest person you know?

i don’t know. 

104. What is your most embarrassing memory? (EMETO WARNING FOR THIS ONE)

chugging a 20oz mountain dew in choir and then puking it up less than 10 minutes later

105. Have you ever pulled an all-nighter?

yep.

106. What color are most of your clothes?

i have a variety of colors but a lot of black and blue

107. Do you like adventures?

sometimes!

108. Have you ever been on TV?

no, i don’t think so!

109. How old are you?

17!

110. What is your favorite quote?

We never taste perfect joy; our happiest successes are mixed with sadness. - Pierre Corneille

111. Do you prefer sweet or savory foods?

i like both, but i love sweet

112. Have your friends ever badly disappointed you?

yeah. 

113. What is your favorite scent?

rain, lemonade, fresh washed strawberries, green apple shampoo

114. Random fact you know?

uhhhhhhhhh im gay? 

115. What is your opinion on long distance relationships?

i am in a lot of them bc im ugly irl

alright!!! i’m not tagging anyone bc i don’t want anyone else to be like me and spend over 45 minutes doing this