#i like the balance meyer strikes between the vampires being obviously vampires

[cto10121]

Twilight Meta—Chapter 14-16

In which Edward gives his and his families vampiric backstories (abbreviated, of course), the lovers share a bed together platonically, and once again Edward does things that both are and should be illegal…and not in a legal or moral sense either. Spoilers bien sûr

Chapter 14: Edward Vampire Splains, Bosses, And Stalks.

With obvious edits and elusions, as we know from the previous books. But the gist is correct.

He drove one-handed, holding my hand on the seat. Sometimes he gazed into the setting sun, sometimes he glanced at me—my face, my hair blowing out the open window, our hands twined together.

What a nice image. That’s all. No thoughts, head empty.

“I was born in Chicago in 1901…Carlisle found me in a hospital in the summer of 1918. I was seventeen, and dying of the Spanish influenza.”

Would have been nice to have seen that flashback in the movie, but budget concerns. Anyway, this is the real appeal of vampires for me: Hundreds of years old, privy to all kinds of history! But of course it’s all about the teen angst and romance. I do like how Meyer’s vampires do ring believably immortal, or at least have universal personalities that fit in most every time. Most TV and movie vampires are so unbelievably modern, it’s sickening. I’d prefer too old-fashioned vampires than too modern.

“Carlisle brought Rosalie to our family next. I didn’t realize till much later that he was hoping she would be to me what Esme was to him—he was careful with his thoughts around me.” He rolled his eyes. “But she was never more than a sister. It was only two years later that she found Emmett…She carried him back to Carlisle, more than a hundred miles, afraid she wouldn’t be able to do it herself. I’m only beginning to guess how difficult that journey was for her.”

Is it me or Edward gives much more slack to Rosalie in this book than in Midnight Sun? Then again, they have a typically bickering brother and sister relationship there.

“Sometimes they live separately from us, as a married couple. But the younger we pretend to be, the longer we can stay in any given place.”

Friendly reminder that the Cullens don’t always enroll in high school. I’ve heard some antis bitching about that.

“I was curious about you.”

“You spied on me?” But somehow I couldn’t infuse my voice with the proper outrage. I was flattered.

He was unrepentant. “What is there to do at night?”

Oh, no. This is so creepy, you guys. He stalked her and watched her as she sleeps. I am so appalled at this anti-feminist messaging. What kind of message is this sending to our impressionable youth—

Yeah, no, I don’t care, lol. Seriously, he’s a freakin’ vampire. Ergo—vampire shit. The same clowns who cry at Edward sparkling in the sun because “vampires don’t sparkle!!!1!1” are also up in arms about this. Creepy Vampire Stalker? Doesn’t even have the same ring as Creepy Italian Stalker. I know Edward is supposed to be the good ones, but he is still a bad boy vampire. He killed people in the past, Karen.

“You’re interesting when you sleep.” He spoke matter-of-factly. “You talk.”

“No!” I gasped, heat flooding my face all the way to my hairline. […]

“Are you angry with me?”

“That depends!” I felt and sounded like I’d had the breath knocked out on me.

He waited.

“On?” he urged.

“What you heard!” I wailed.

Bella is more upset over Edward hearing her love confession than his watching her. Might as well. Bella isn’t the type for guilt or shame, but she does want to keep the depths of her obsession with him as secret as possible. Give it up, Bells, it’s obvious to anyone with a brain. At least when Juliet finds out Romeo heard her love confession, she was mortified too, but decides to…just own it. Bella doesn’t play hard-to-get either.

“You did say my name,” he admitted.

I sighed in defeat. “A lot?”

“How much do you mean by ‘a lot,’ exactly?”

CACKLING. Would have loved Pattinson to have delivered that line.

He pulled me against his chest, softly, naturally.

“Don’t be self-conscious,” he whispered in my ear. “If I could dream at all, it would be about you. And I’m not ashamed of it.”

Edward being sweet and lovely right after confessing he watches her sleep is just…peak Edward. *chomps on movie popcorn* This cock is really something else.

Anyhoo, Charlie returns and he is more observant than usual. Well, Bella is visibly very excited and agitated.

“None of the boys in town your type, eh?” He was suspicious, but trying to play it cool.

“No, none of the boys have caught my eye yet.” I was careful not to over-emphasize the word boys in my quest to be truthful with Charlie.

Bah, weak equivocation. While Edward is not a boy mentally, he is still seventeen physically and presents as such. Charlie would still call BS. Juliet did so much better getting her mother off her scent. Do better, Bells.

“Edward?” I whispered, feeling completely idiotic.

The quiet, laughing response came from behind me. “Yes?”

I whirled, one hand flying to my throat in surprise.

He lay, smiling hugely, across my bed, his hands behind his head, his feet dangling off the end, the picture of ease.

Now this is actual problematic shit Edward does. Bella, you have his ticket to ride. Ride before the stallion moves!

“Can I have a minute to be human?” I asked.

…I’m beginning to see the anti rationale of Bella being too dumb to function.

Well, no? she does have to put on a show for a suspicious Charlie and also make herself clean. Priorities and practicalities and all. But damn, she has ovaries of steel.

Too late to regret not packing the Victoria’s Secret silk pajamas my mother got me two birthdays ago, which still had the tags on them in a drawer somewhere back home. (p. 298)

Aaaaand I stand corrected. She’s literally thinking about putting on sexy lingerie for her vampire boyfriend. This series is literally so real.

I pulled back; as I moved, he froze—and I could no longer hear the sound of his breathing. […]

“Did I do something wrong?”

Yes, Edward, it’s you. You’re a slut created by a hetero red-blooded woman. A male Carmen or Salome. An homme fatal.

“No—the opposite. You’re driving me crazy,” I explained.

He considered that briefly, and when he spoke, he sounded pleased. “Really?”

Like Bella, like Edward! R&J really should serve them copyright infringement papers.

“But jealousy…it’s a strange thing. So much more powerful than I would have thought. And irrational! Just now, when Charlie asked you about that vile Mike Newton…” He shook his head angrily. […]

“But honestly,” I teased, “for that to bother you, after I have to hear that Rosalie—Rosalie, the incarnation of pure beauty, Rosalie—was meant for you. Emmett or no Emmett, how can I compete with that?”

Ha, legit. Mike is the Paris, and Rosalie is the…Rosaline? Holy shit, that’s close. Now it’s Shakespeare’s turn to serve copyright infringement papers.

He was serious now, thoughtful. “For almost ninety years I’ve walked among my kind, and yours…all the time thinking I was complete in myself, not realizing what I was seeking. And not finding anything, because you weren’t alive yet.”

Every so often the antis bitch about Edward remaining a virgin for ninety years, but honestly? Ninety years isn’t that long for a vampire. I mean, that’s just the 20th century. He doesn’t even remember the Victorian era. Edward is definitely among the younger side. The Volturi especially must have viewed him as a wee bby. Look at him, finding his lil’ cantante, aw. If he were 200+ years, yeah, I’d call bullshit.

“I thought you were desensitized.”

“Just because I’m resisting the wine doesn’t mean I can’t appreciate the bouquet,” he whispered. “You have a very floral smell, like lavender…or freesia,” he noted. “It’s mouthwatering.” (p. 306)

Lavender: Happiness, love, devotion, peace, distrust. Freesia: Innocence, thoughtfulness. All in all, very apropos. Bella smells like life, in other words—also, there is her maidenly innocence.

(Also, come to think of it, by contrast, Bella doesn’t describe Edward’s scent all that clearly. I have a feeling it must be something similar. Sweet is the main adjective. Probably something cold per Jacob’s reaction).

“Carlisle has a theory…he believes that we all bring something of our strongest human traits with us into the next life, where they are intensified—like our minds, our senses.”

It is a cool idea. I mean, still makes these vampires overpowered as hell and everything, but it’s still cool. These vampires in many ways are like twisted anti-angels—like Adam and Eve before and after their fall. It’s a neat reversal.

Chapter 15: Meeting the Vampire In-Laws, the Infamous Khaki Skirt, and Vampire Baseball

“Edward! You stayed!” I rejoiced, and thoughtlessly threw myself across the room and into his lap. […]

He laughed.

“Of course,” he answered, startled, but seeming pleased by my reaction. His hands rubbed my back.

Book Edward and Bella: 🥰🥰🥰🥰

Movie Edward and Bella: *stare, no thoughts, head empty*

I hid my face against his shoulder.

“I love you,” I whispered.

“You are my life now,” he answered simply.

Love declaration at page 314! Very fitting and intense. And oh, here it goes…

I ended up in my only skirt—long, khaki-colored, still casual. I put on the dark blue blouse he’d once complimented. […]

“Okay.” I bounced down the stairs. “I’m decent.”

He was waiting at the foot of the stairs, closer than I’d thought, and I bounded right into him. He steadied me, holding me a careful distance away for a few seconds before suddenly pulling me closer.

“Wrong again,” he murmured in my ear. “You are utterly indecent—no one should look so tempting, it’s not fair.”

THE INFAMOUS KHAKI SCENE. The clownery this one scene incurred…all because Tumblr misread “khaki-colored” as “khaki” the material. Also that weird out-of-nowhere headcanon of it being ankle or floor length. And I thought R&J clownery was bad…

Anyway, if this weren’t a scene from a YA novel, this would definitely have led to a sex scene. Gives off major “bodice ripper energy.” I’ll be disappointed if there wasn’t a saucy fanfic AU on this alone.

“Look, I’m trying really hard not to think about what I’m about to do, so can we go already?” I asked.

“And you’re worried, not because you’re headed to meet a houseful of vampires, but because you think those vampires won’t approve of you, correct?”

“That’s right,” I answered immediately, hiding my surprise at his casual use of the word.

He shook his head. “You’re incredible.”

Bella being into that shit Part 39374782.

Anyway, there is the scene with Bella and the Cullens, the Cullens being all “do not startle the human!” and then Alice coming in all “BELLA MY BFF muah” 🤪. (Love Alice, always will). I’ll skip around a bit unfortunately because my wrists are killing me, but I’ll just highlight a few moments.

I suddenly remembered my childhood fantasy that, should I ever win a lottery, I would buy a grand piano for my mother. She wasn’t really good—she only played for herself on our secondhand upright—but I loved to watch her play. She was happy, absorbed—she seemed like a new, mysterious being to me then, someone outside the “mom” persona I took for granted.

Bella’s love for her mother always rings true. And of course, it informs her choice to help her.

“You inspired this one,” he said softly. The music grew unbearably sweet.

Bella’s Lullaby. Never particularly liked the version for the movie (hell, I don’t even remember it). My toxic trait is that I headcanon Bella’s song as Belle. Yes, that Belle.

“I have to, because I’m going to be a little…overbearingly protective over the next few days—or weeks—and I wouldn’t want you to think I’m naturally a tyrant.”

Literally all the antis and even half the Twilight fandom think you are the worst of the worst of tyrant. My take? I’ve literally read alpha male leads (including classic lit characters—oh, yeah) way more toxic. Hell, even Shadow and Bone’s Mal is worse and he’s just a regular Joe. Edward is a kitten compared to them. If anything, he is almost as much as a pushover as Bella in some respects. The rest is just your basic typical 1900s trad boy with control issues.

In any case, this is first reference to James, Victoria, and Laurent in the book. The movie decided to introduce them early on and trying to build a little mystery over missing hikers and whatnot. But that didn’t work because the movie just showed us who was eating the hikers anyway, so no mystery. So there was no point to it—maybe just to appease the antis that whine about how there is no plot until they come along? (Ma’am, this is a romance novel).

I shivered.

“Finally, a rational response!” he murmured. “I was beginning to think you had no sense of self-preservation at all.”

Yeah, Bella does. She just has a disease called Being in Love. Not contagious, fortunately, but extremely common. The lengths she will go to for the vampire dick is inspiring.

Chapter 16: Carlisle and More Vampire Lore, and Vampire Baseball

Anyway, Edward then moves on to Carlisle’s backstory feat. actual Carlisle. Very interesting and oh, he was born just a few decades shy of actually being at the Globe theater in its heyday. (Not that Carlisle’s father as a Protestant would ever allow him near the playhouses, those dens of iniquity!!!). It’s just possible he may have seen revivals of Shakespeare’s plays…and then gotten whipped by his Protestant father as punishment. But ignore me, I’m a Shakespeare nerd. Continuing on.

“Well, I had a typical bout of rebellious adolescence—about ten years after I was…born…created, whatever you want to call it. I wasn’t sold on his life of abstinence, and I resented him for curbing my appetite. So I went off on my own for a time.” (p. 343)

“Abstinence,” “appetite.” Interesting choice of words there. Also, Edward going into his Batman phase is now terribly ironic what with Pattinson recently donning the cape.

“But as time went on, I began to see the monster in my eyes. I couldn’t escape the debt of so much human life taken, no matter how justified.”

Would have loved to have had more of that rationale. I suppose I should reread Midnight Sun sometime. It’s very detailed though; Edward overthinks everything.

“I was prepared to feel…relieved. Having you know about everything, not needing to keep secrets from you. But I didn’t expect to feel more than that. I like it. It makes me…happy.” He shrugged, smiling slightly.

Friendly reminder that Edward lies and has lied only to Bella when he has to re: vampire secret society. He is still keeping Alice’s vision of her as a vampire from her, but that’s par de course. Bella has to choose that destiny for herself.