#i like men in a man way but i like women in a woman way. i think.

[yeetntve]

One time my Mum drove over a kerb and got her car stuck at a hardware store, and three different men just came over to help unprompted. The only thing they said about it was directly related to solving the problem, and in the end all three of them just seamlessly worked together to physically lift the front of the car so my Mum could reverse out. They succeeded, saving us tow truck fees and ensuring the nice afternoon we had planned was able to go on. They asked for nothing and we never saw them again. All it took was my Mum calling them her heroes, and those men were walking on air all the way into the hardware store.

I just think that maybe, just maybe, blaming the pain and suffering caused by our patriarchal system on men's individual nature is uhhhh, some bullshit.

I see the radfems out there saying that every man who's ever been born is a psychopath who's constantly looking for an opportunity to commit a felony and then I remember this one time I was really struggling to get a shopping cart out of another shopping cart and a dude came over to help me, but he couldn't do it, and then another dude came over to help him, and then another came over because it was a challenge he wanted in on, and then I had 3 guys all tearing at a stuck shopping cart, and literally none of them even needed a cart.

And when they got it out, they fist pumped and I said thanks so much and one of them said "easy." And then they left.

And it's like.

I don't think radfems go outside.

[briseroyawritingsblog]

𝒃𝒆𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒅 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒈𝒍𝒂𝒔𝒔

𝒐𝒍𝒅𝒎𝒂𝒏!𝒍𝒐𝒈𝒂𝒏 𝒙 𝒇𝒆𝒎!𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒆𝒓

• +18 minors do not interact. faul language, inappropriate thoughts, mutual attraction, large age gap, etc.

𝒃𝒐𝒓𝒅𝒆𝒍𝒍𝒐 𝒎𝒂𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒕 / 𝒎𝒂𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒕

divider by @anitalenia

Working in red light district was nothing but dangerous. Even though it paid your bills perfectly you hated your job. You hated the fact that men gawked at your body, sticking their drunk ugly faces on the window. Your job was to stand behind the glass and to lure more men inside the pleasure house. It was called bordello but it was a bar, strip club, and much more. It was filthy, men were disgusting. Treating women like objects. You would never let men treat you that way or even touch you. Applying cherry lipstick to your lips it was your turn to stand behind the glass— few hours of misery. This time there was a chair where you could sit but you had to give a little show to desperate married men who came in and threw dollar bills at your box because you were so damn pretty for them. Behind all that makeup and pretty stockings was just a normal woman. A woman who had a normal soul and who was never touched by a man before.

Logan groaned as he parked his black Chrysler just in front of the bordello. Your gaze immediately landing on the men who were stepping out of the limo. Chatting and holding bottle of dark liquor. The driver seemed to be a tall man dressed in black. His grey hair complimented his outgrown beard and the specs on top of his nose only added to his handsomeness. You sat down on your chair, parting your legs biting your lower lip. The men which came out of his limo were already glued to the window swooning at your legs and your high heels. One of them even licked the window and you smiled. Logan met your gaze, your beauty mesmerised him— you were there like a doll. So small.. he grunted shutting the door on his limo lighting a cigar leaning against his car. He was told to wait so even if he would wait for hours he was getting paid for it. He didn’t mind that- it just really gave him some time to drink away his worries and aches in his body. Holding the cigar between his lips he looked at his phone. The more you observed him, the more he reminded you of someone. Taking your time to observe his trembling hands, his cough gave you a tiny worry. Maybe he was sick? But why so much liquor?

“Come on sweetheart give us a twirl maybe bend over so we can see those pretty thongs are you wet for us? Are we getting lucky? look at you let me pay you for the night. How much do you want?” One of the men approached your glass and you smiled. How did you want? You wanted to get out of the box and just go home. “I am not a toy” you replied making him chuckle gulping on the whiskey which he held in his hand telling his friends that somehow he wants only you. “Of course you’re a fucking toy, now get out of the glass and suck my dick.” Logan heard it, oh he heard what they were saying. Choosing to ignore the thunder in his chest he sighed. You looked at the man by his limo and then back at the rude men tears filling your eyes. How long did you have to endure this torture. Your line of work came with so much hatred. “Nah dude she’s not going to move, let her go. Let’s go inside” you sighed with a relief as they disappeared inside the club. Your heart nearly jumping out of your chest.

Logan didn’t look at you. He couldn’t look at you because you were too beautiful to look at. You were a sin and he was an old man who would never have a chance to be graced by your presence. You weren’t a stripper for sure and you weren’t a ‘working’ girl either. You were just… you.

The next following days you had the same customers coming to the bordello. You cringed at the sounds which could be heard from the down the hall as you walked out your closet. You wore a black mesh dress, your neck occupied black beads with a cross. Your hair was straightened this time and you had a black matte lipstick on your lips. Stepping inside your box you gazed outside, men were standing outside drinking and smoking and there it was. The black limo parked just opposite the club, smoke coming out the window. Logan was watching you again, he waited until you came on. He could indulge gazing at you all night long if time would allow him. You were gorgeous— your outfit was different and he understood that you had to dress up to meet men’s expectations but hell you looked like a sin. The way your lips wrapped around the cross he groaned and looked away. Why was he even there? Why did he stay? You knew he was looking at you and it was nothing wrong with it. In fact he was giving you a sense of safety. You were desired and hungered for but this man was different wasn’t he?

Finishing your shift three hours later, you changed out of the clothes which you hated the most and slipped on a pair of jeans. An oversized shirt, pair of fluffy socks and uggs. Wrapping yourself in a hoodie you grabbed your bag and car keys to leave. Like this you were almost unrecognisable— walking out the club using the back door of course you heard men nearby. You hurried to your car until they stopped you by pushing you against it.

“Here she is! Are we getting what we want tonight?” You wanted to scream. A hand came up to your lips shushing your whimpers and screams tears rolling down your cheeks. No.. you didn’t want to die. You didn’t want to be hit. Closing your eyes you prayed..

Oh god.. help me..

[genderqueerdykes]

What's a dyke

you know i get this question a lot and i don't get sick of answering is, so thanks for asking!

a dyke can be a lot of things. the term "dyke" is a slur that is thrown around in North America, primarily the United States and Canada as well as certain other English speaking countries that is generally directed at masculine or androgynous women (usually cis women and AFAB people). it is intended to be lesbophobic in nature. it is meant to be used in a way to imply that other person is a lesbian, and in a very bad way.

however, because a lot of people have a bad read on what a lesbian is, they often times misdirect it towards other people that they consider lesbians and thus dykes. if 2 women are close friends no matter how they express it they can be affected by the slur as well, no matter what their orientation is. other than lesbians, cis masc, androgynous, gender non conforming women and fem women who spend a lot of time around other women, regardless of their actual identity, people who get called dykes the most tend to be:

transfeminine people

trans women

intersex people

transmasculine people

trans men

butch people

bisexual, pansexual, polysexual & omnisexual women

multspectrum lesbians

non binary, genderqueer, and genderfluid people

two spirit people

multigender people

bisexual women & people

... a lot of other queer people

dyke is a slur that affects a really broad range of people due to the complexity and diversity that comes with both womanhood and transness. both trans men and trans women are affected by this a lot more than people want to talk about. if a woman or woman adjacent person reads as masculine, they very well can get called a dyke by someone hateful who is angry. the slur dyke is associated with AFAB bodied people and women, but there are a lot of transfem people who are targeted by this slur due to them not fitting inside of a restrictive binary of what can be a woman in someone else's mind.

this affects women, people assigned female at birth, transfem and transmasc people, genderqueer people, enbies and so on who express attraction to women. bisexual women have this directed toward them all the time. women who come out as bi, pan and/or polysexual get told they're dykes just for being attracted to women. any mention of sapphic attraction and you're a dyke. no matter if you're cis, trans, perisex, intersex, if you clock to them as a woman, they will call you a dyke for being attracted to women. even spending a lot of time with women can get this directed toward you

it affects trans men like crazy. most trans men and mascs are called this term throughout their childhood and early lives. if they aren't they're getting called a tomboy or something else of that nature. a lot of transmascs reclaim the slur because it's so heavily associated with antimasculism and transandrophobia. not every single transmasc and/or trans man will experience this but it's super common especially if you're butch and dress masc.

it affects trans women and transfems who don't "pass perfectly" in certain people's eyes. if we're attracted to other women, if we're hairy or have bulkier bodies or filled out jaws, deep voices or whatever else, we get called dykes. if trans women DO pass we still get called dykes, especially for spending a lot of time with other women of any identity. people are so emotionally charged about who women and femmes spend their time with that this affects trans women and femmes way more than people realize. it's transmisogynistic on top of everything else

it's racist in nature as well because any traits that are associated with masculinity present will also be targeted by this slur. women and people of color may get targeted and called dykes by cishet white racists due to the fact that they have different "beauty standards" and don't see certain traits as "feminine" or "womanly" enough. it disproportionally affects people of color, regardless of identity.

it's a slur that's layered with misogyny and antimasculism, intersexism and exorsexism, bio and gender essentialsm, transmisogyny and transandrophobia. it's lesbophobic, butchphobic and anti sapphic. it's racist. it's a slur that affects a really broad range of people and i like when people ask this question because i get to down the misconception that the slur only affects cis women who are lesbians. that's just not the case, it affects so many trans and queer people. intersex people are a large portion of the people affected by this slur and no one ever wants to talk about it.

the reason so many people reclaim it is because it affects so many parts of our identities and how other people view us. it's a very powerful slur to reclaim and it's very healing to do so, because other people use it so flippantly. even other queers will gladly call someone a dyke if they're upset. no matter what it's always waiting to be used against us, especially if we're trans men and women, intersex, people of color, and/or disabled.

it's a very powerful thing to reclaim because people seem to have zero hestitation to hit people with it no matter what. and it's important to take the power back from those people, so a lot of people choose to use it casually. it's something that i believe should be used proudly if so many people are going to judge our lives and how we should live them.

sure, maybe i am a dyke. maybe we're in agreement.

It's Mr. Dyke to you.

so thank you for asking! i hope this helps. feel free to ask, let me know if you have any other questions!

[jingerpi]

[do not use this as justification for sexist bigotry, this is a personal thought relating to the investigation of ideas and not a statement meant to be derisive towards feminist theories.]

disclaimer out of the way, I've been thinking about transmisogyny a lot lately and it's really interesting to consider the nuances of. I think a lot of the objections to transfeminist theory simply come from sexism, but there is one point of potential critique that I think warrants further inquiry. to get at this we have to first clarify something else though.

the distinction of tme/tma might sound like an issue to a lot of transmisogynists, but most of their objections die away as soon as you clarify it's not "never ever experiences transmisogyny" and is perhaps more accurately "trans misogyny exemptable" as this gets at the reality of trans women facing transmisogyny regardless of what we do, there is no way out, we are the intended targets. other people face transmisogyny as a sort of warning, a clarifying statement that "if you are transfeminine we will Other you" and they're able to exempt themselves from this in most situations by clarifying "I am not a trans woman" regardless of the particular form that takes.

not everyone is able to exempt themselves from all gender related bigotry though. you cannot, for example, make this distinction (of not being transfem) to escape intersexism, which is why many intersex repeatedly experience gender based oppression and cannot opt out of it. this is oppression is fundamentally not an result of transmisogyny, it is a result of intersexism.

with that clarification out of the way, I think there is an understandable critique regards the simplification that

"men have power over women" <- correct, easily verifiable, almost everybody agrees. "Black men have power of Black women" <- still correct and non controversial (at least in feminist spaces). then you go to "trans men have power over trans women" and everybody freaks out, yeah? like people start to object to this understanding suddenly, even though we've only changed 1 thing, which we've changed before and nobody found issue with it in those other areas. many of these objections come transmisogyny, but I don't think it actually tells the whole story to write all of this off as transmisogyny.

I think why we run into an issue with this understanding (again, critique, not refutation) is that trans people's gender is often, perhaps even usually in flux. the statement "men have power over women" is trivially true, and is a statement on gender and misogyny. this comparison can be brought to trans men and trans women, but it's not without nuance, as the most basic information we can get from this is applied to gender, something which is often actively shifting for trans people.

the reason is don't see this as some kind of disproof of transmisogyny or something should be clear though, for two reasons (aside from the obvious statement towards trends rather than specific instances)

1. transmisogyny is fundamentally not the same thing as misogyny at large, and

2. though trans-gender is often shifting, we can use the prior distinction of exemptable and intended targets to largely do away with this problem.

despite the framework of misogyny not applying 1-1 onto trans people (many who identify as trans men have 'correctly' experienced misogyny), we can still see how it is useful to look at the intersection of misogyny and transphobia. While yes, trans men often experience both of these things, it is often not simultaneously like it is for trans women. As trans women transition our closeness to womanhood tends to increase so as our experiences of transphobia increase, so too do our experiences of misogyny- where as the opposite goes for trans men. it's not that one can't be sexist and transphobic to a trans man, they're not transmisogyny exempt in some metaphysical sense, but rather that for trans women our transness and our womanhood have a positive correlation, our transness and our womanhood are inseparable, we cannot denounce one by leaning on the other.

on the contrary, while trans men will still face transphobia and sexism which denies the validity of their transness and treats them with misogyny, as they transition their relationship begins to more closely match that of men, because of course they are men, this leads to them being able to escape transmisogyny not by being part of some magically 100% transmisogyny excluded class, but because they have the ability to meaningfully denounce trans feminity, to put down womanhood and to become "one of the guys", it's conditional, yes, but often the conditions are not to "pass" in the traditional sense but rather to express views aligning with the patriarchy and derision of feminity, i.e, misogyny.

I think we can see this in the popular responses to tme/tma discourse within the trans community: many trans men correctly recognize what is happening and stand in solidarity, transmisogyny is a genuine problem and it makes sense to talk about the intersection between misogyny and transphobia, trans men even experience both at times, so it is a good idea to stand against. Then, some men begin to talk about their experiences with denial of who they are and the misogyny that can come with that. This too is rather sensible, though it doesn't somehow counteract or disprove transmisogyny generally, it can be studied and acknowledge much in the same way we understand cis men are tested with transmisogyny to enforce what others call "toxic masculinity", despite them not being transfeminine. Then we have a third and wildly popular group, who appropriate the struggles of the second group, where co-option occurs by men who buy into or express sexist ideas for the sake of more fully exempting themselves from transmisogyny. Along with this, instead of recognizing the basis for transmisogyny as intersecting gender based oppression, because doing so would show their fleeting relationship to it, they redefine it as being intersection of two metaphysical identities generally, and thus "transandrophobia" is born, posed as being on an equal to transmisogyny, after all, they're both born from intersecting identities are they not?

of course, we know Androphobia is not something which actually exists, nor is Misandry - these arent axis' of oppression, and they largely know this too, but their goal is to obfuscate the ways in which marginalized men still benefit from their manhood. it takes what I think can be a rather genuine expression that trans men experience both transphobia and misogyny, and instead of grappling with the ways they can societally put down others to gain exemption from transmisogyny, the way their relationship to it is transient, they instead cling to it and invent new terms or fall on old bigoted talking points to justify doing so. "transandrophobia" yes, but also "sex based oppression" and "male/female socialization" these terms and rhetoric are regularly used against transfeminists by these trans men who have exempted themselves from transmisogyny, who have sided with patriarchy over their trans sisters, instead allying with the general terf movement at large and often implicitly misgendering themselves in the process.

and just to be clear, not exempting yourself doesn't mean you will experience the brunt of transmisogyny or to the same degree trans women do - you may be called slurs by bigots, may be harassed in given instances, or sometimes worse, but the systemic forces of transmisogyny go far deeper than negative interactions with individuals, and these transmisogynistic forces are again, aimed specifically at trans women. While I want to recognize the ways in which transmisogyny permeates all of society, do not see this and mistake it for support for the idea that everyone experiences it equally and their relationship is only changed by putting down transfemininity, it is and always has been about targeting transfemininity, the reason I clarify exemptable is due to society's constant enforcing of transmisogynistic ideas on everyone, even if the worst persecution is specifically and intentionally reserved for trans women

Lastly I want to say that these ideas are still developing and my understanding of them will likely change with time and discussion. I dont think these ideas are particularly new, they seem to underpin a lot of discussion on these topics, but this is my attempt to bring them from an implicit unspoken agreement into a more firmly expressed position. Doing so is necessarily going to expose flaws and I see that as a good thing, as doing so is required to elevate understanding of these theories to a higher level. Some of these flaws will be with my expression and understanding, and I will work to correct those, but some will likely be with the ideass themselves and it will take time for them to develop. Please read in good faith, thank you.

[certifiedsexed]

hi! Im 19, a trans man (he/him), and just really confused about my sexuality, and cant find anything on it so im asking you!

My problem is that i know that im attracted to men. Trans men, cis men, im ur regular gay. But the problem i have is that im also attracted to trans women, but not cis women. I see trans women as women and are attracted to their femininity, but i also cant really picture myself with a cis woman. In the same way.

I feel bad for working this way, because i dont want anyone to see me as seeing trans women as men, bwcause i dont, but i also really am not attracted to cis women. Am i a transphobic trans guy??

Hi! I'm not sure how much I can help but I'll do my best, Anon.

Well, I'm not going to discount the possibility you have some transphobia to work through. That could definitely be true and it's always wise to keep working through that and your transmisogyny to keep them in check.

But if you asked me, it just sounds like you like trans people and cis men. Maybe with a preference for men in general. It's okay to say, "Hey, I'm into trans people of any gender and also cis men.", there's no requirement for you to also be into cis women. I know many trans people who's sexualities work like that.

I dunno what that means on how you specifically name your sexuality but I do know that that's perfectly fine. It's fairly common for trans people to be attracted to other trans people, even if they're not attracted to cis people of those genders. Some trans people aren't attracted to cis people at all!

So, keep transmisogyny in mind, always, but there's nothing explicitly wrong with what you're talking about with your sexuality, Anon.

Hope something here helps! Let me know if you have any other questions! <3

[balkanradfem]

Just watched The Substance and I honest to god can't believe this is considered a 'feminist' movie. Read your analysis and completely agrree. My male co-workers were actually gushing over this movie, they couldnt believe how many times they got to see the main actresses naked and posing sexually for them. If you made a movie for men to masturbate too you've absolutely failed in having a 'feminist' message.

And Sue literally being how incel men picture Hot Girls - getting everything she wants without doing anything, rich and vain, having sex whenever, posing sexually every morning and staring at herself constantly, while having no real personality. Its how a porn-addicted man wishes he could live, not any womens reality. She barely even has any lines in the movie.

Not to mention having Demi Moore be the 'old women' despite having obvious work done and looking nothing like a regular older women. Its like the movie itself was too afraid to actually show a realistically aged women, and when she does start getting gray hair and looking older suddenly shes acting cartoonishly bitter and slobbish. Im so sick of movies having women make disgusting looking food and a huge mess and it all being shown as gross and depressing. Portraying food and eating as disgusting and pigging out when women make it (for themselves, if theyre cooking for a man or kids suddenly its different) is just feeding into misogynistic beliefs, not subverting them.

And the classic, portraying sexist men as very goofy and dumb so they don't offend the male viewers by having an actual relatable man that acts just like them being criticised by the movie for his sexism. Also the whole point where the movie basically acts like if she'd just been able to go on that date with the random guy from school, she wouldve been fine. bc having a boyfriend and a man that says youre the most beautiful is all that a woman needs i guess.

Anyway I absolutely hated this movie. From a horror perspective it did some things very well, but the message was just foul to me. Not to mention the fact that men are now trying to give Margaret Qualley the Sydney Sweeney treatment, bc they got to see her naked, hyper-sexualized, and acting like a little girl infront of powerful men. This movie was the antithesis of what everyone is saying it is imo.

Yes, I remember feeling similar to this when I first watched it. So much of it was catering to the male gaze, so much of it I had to skip because it was pornographic material, the outrage at the woman who looked so young and socially attractive to be presented as 'too-old-looking', I didn't even consider how different she looked to the reality of female aging, I didn't know that much about her. I did think she looked young though!

And you described perfectly my own thoughts about the food! It was presented to us as if it was disgusting, it made me feel insane, it was food! I've never seen any food presented in such a way. I understood later that this part was meant to resonate with women who did see food in this way because of an eating disorder, and to them this looked very normal to how they feel about food, even though this seems terrifying to me, I can't even think about it that way.

You are so right that it's never portrayed like this when a woman is cooking for a family! I didn't even think of that. If she's making meals for others, then it's portrayed as extremely positive, if she's cooking for herself, horrible.

I actually didn't even see the missed date thing as her 'opportunity to be fixed', but you're right! They did depict that male as her last chance to make a human connection and to feel like a human again, as if a single male could resolve this insane amount of struggle she was in.

My conclusion is exactly the same as yours, it is not doing anything it's claiming to do, extremely disappointing as a feminist movie, so much catering to male gaze and awful and horrifying depiction of what women's lives are like.

[missgenesis]

Makes sense now.

I always thought Ariana Grande's esthetic was kind of borderline sexy pre-teen.

No offense. So is mine now that I think about it.

I just like cute things, and I'm a sweetheart. We just have a natural innocence and that's a good thing.

I'm noticing a pattern that's what men find appealing in this world. Girls who are young and impressionable (& often underage).

It's like the whole virgin fetish thing. Why is it appealing to "take" a woman's virginity?

Even just the concept of saying it like that feels creepy. Like we lose our purity, and they take it away like thieves.

What corrupted men to feel the need to "take" our innocence? Why don't they have it on their own?

Why must they steal it away from us like it's a form of control... like a way to possess us?

Like now we are tarnished and they are "the man" for nailing the chick who's like a baby lamb or who "doesn't give it up easily".

Why does it feel like men are on always on the receiving end and women are always getting short-changed? How do we win at this game?

Look around - we hate it here. In Miami, in LA, in NY, in Paris... wherever the fuck your bullshit bro code forces us to be. We hate it here.

Good for him

[american-horror-whore]

life update (tw assumed almost kidnapping, possible stalking, etc)

I should really be forcing myself to go on temporary hiatus but this is really my only safe space. i’ve been treated very roughly recently, and what happened yesterday just added. don’t worry about me leaving you all, i’m not taking a temporary hiatus

so i’m honestly just gonna start off with a message. Men, women, minors, anyone: please be vigilant of your surroundings. No matter where you are, densely populated places or scarcely populated places, day or night, be vigilant.

My car is currently in a different state, being lent to a family member (which has been going on for about a month), meaning i have to take public transport to and from college since i’m not doing dorms. Where the bus stops is just a short walk from my house, probably only 5 or 6 houses down, 5 to 10 minute walk.

Just for anyone who’ll have questions about why I wasn’t able to defend myself, Massachusetts colleges prohibits carrying firearms or concealed weapons, meaning i’m not able to take my pocket knife or any form of defense i have. The only exception is for law enforcement officers who are authorized to carry weapons. There is also no way in hell i’m leaving any sort of defense on public transport until I come back at the end of the day.

A few weeks back, I had seen an inferno orange-reddish toyota truck slowing down near me. driving it, was an older man. I didn’t think much of it at the time, chalking up to pure coincidence or misunderstanding. maybe i was someone he thought he knew? maybe he had to take a turn? i live in a scarcely populated area, only about 4,000 people live here. probably someone one of my parents knew.

Earlier yesterday, my final class ended around 2. I got off the public transport at 2:30-2:40 and started walking. I had one airpod in my ear, still semi-vigilant of my surroundings. everything was fine. Until i saw this truck again. Okay, it was slowing down, same as last time. Except the man was staring me down this time. And pulled over on the opposite side of the road. I stop, turn around to face the truck to let him know i was aware of what was happening. Shakily, i pull out my phone, pretending to take a video. The man sits in his car for a bit as i walk backward, still holding my phone out. I was too scared to even take a real video or a photo of the plates. He half-pulled out onto the road, looking like he was going to turn onto my side. Instead, he pulled away, most likely when he saw I had a phone. I had called my boyfriend when he had slowed down, just to have someone on the phone.

With all that being said, when the man drove away, I ran up the hill, back to my house. Out of fear, and not wanting to call anyone else, I call my stepfather, anything i was saying was barely audible. He told me to calm down, asked me if i was okay, and asked what happened. I told him what had happened, to which he had asked if I had the plates. I told him no. He said that was okay, talked to me a bit more, and told me to call the police. I called my local station, talked to someone, and I could tell they weren’t just brushing it off as a woman being crazy or attention seeking. They told me they understood I was afraid, but there wasn’t much they could do without the plates. I told them that was okay, and if i saw it again, i’d take photos.

I’ve been extremely shaken all night and this morning. My stepfather put in to get out of work early for the next however long to come pick me up from the stop, which I am so grateful for. But it got me thinking, what would’ve happened if the guy got ballsy enough to get out of his truck? what would’ve happened if he took me? And I have nothing to defend myself with except punches, kicks and bites, which of a 5’3, 98lbs college girl, there’s not much force behind those.

I always want to keep you guys updated in my life, because I feel transparency is important with people you care about. I apologize for how long winded this was, and if you made it this far, thank you.

tags to those know i know will care about something like this:

@fear-is-truth , @newwavesylviaplath

@taintandviolent @marchsfreakshow @cxndiedvi0lets

[woman-respecter]

My goal was to be off tumblr for a year but girl I just saw the most absolutely rancid take and needed to tell someone. I saw someone in a youtube comment section (I know, I know) genuinely argue that 4B is insufficiently intersectional because if men aren't having consensual sex, they'll go out and rape more, and since woc, queer women, disabled women, etc experience disproportionate rates of sexual violence, it'll be them getting raped probably, so going 4B is actually sentencing less privileged women to be raped. I genuinely think my brain is broken from that. "If you don't have sex with a man it's your fault if he rapes another woman" is one of the most insane things I've ever seen someone try to spin as leftist and that is fucking saying something. Like I could sit here and list all the reasons that's wrong but. Oh my god.

They started off their insane essay with this: "I heard a good point, and someone described this as taking a toy from a petulant child. (The toy being seggs, not women). If the child isn’t made to understand why the toy was taken away, they will continue to keep saying how unfair you’re being. And they might just steal a new toy from someone else if they don’t get their way." I LOVE how predatory men are children that have to be handled gently and delicately and have it explained to them with a little Blue's Clues song why they aren't getting laid, and if you don't do that you're responsible for their actions. Men are adults! Men CHOOSE to rape women! Why are we blaming women for men's actions! Why are we doing that and CALLING IT FEMINIST??? Like I thought we agreed that men don't rape due to a lack of consensual sex, they rape because they like having and exerting power over people? I thought that was like, one of the basic things we talked about in rape culture 101?

Jesus fucking Christ. I know that person sat back after writing their dissertation so satisfied with themselves for being One Of The Good Feminists, intersectional and socially aware and apologetic of their privilege, not one of those evil radfems who think men should be held responsible for their actions.

Anyways sorry for subjecting you to this but it actually broke my brain in half and I needed someone else to suffer with me.

omg first of all hey girl its been a while! good to hear from you even if it’s in this shitty scenario!

and yeah, what a rancid, yet not unexpected take. blaming women for men’s actions is like. classic misogyny. like i am a certified misandrist but even i don’t believe that the majority of men will go out and rape random women just because they’re constantly rejected. and even if they would it is NOT the duty of any woman to give a man sex that she doesn’t want to give, just to protect hypothetical other women. that’s such a shitty guilt trip. in that situation it would be a category 5 KAM moment, if giving in to sex was the only thing we could do to prevent rape.

[specialmouse]

It’s so incredible how the male (as in from men) fetish for the archetypal japanese woman is literally a substitution for a child. Like i realized this in concrete words yesterday and it’s revealed so much about why i fucking hate anime and men of any race who goon over “japanese culture”. Because i know, deep down, that about 97% of the men who “like japanese culture” were drawn to it because they, knowingly or unknowingly, want to have sex with a child that can consent and no one can tell them they’re wrong for wanting it, and saw that in the Japanese woman; the Japanese man, along with Yamato beauty+racial standards and post-WWII Westernization, set her up for her own destruction and deaging. In the way that the Black girl is adultified to justify the violence done to her, the Japanese woman (and all Asian women consequently) are simultaneously deaged and not; they are adult children, cooing for your white penis while over the legal age and thus without protection from abuse. I know more than a few wasian people whose military fathers brought their mothers from bases in the Philippines, Korea, Okinawa like postcards—and the Asian woman is a shell, a doll, who has since accepted her place in America, a place of plenty, while acting as a white man’s trophy, whether she knows it or not.

And it has so much to do with the white denial of my racial and gender identity as a mixed Japanese woman. Because i’m fat and hairy and loud and mean and not racially pure, I am either not Japanese or I am not a woman. Neither side wants to claim me as Japanese, but I am not white and it’s both apparent in my face and in my history. I am yonsei, whose grandparents and great grandparents were interned and whose father was stripped of his racial and ethnic identity (and ultimately his life) through adoption and internalized shame, such that I did not realize what separated me from my own family for so long until a goddamn DNA test. Once I had it, I refused to let my racial identity go—and I parted with my gender, so that I would make sense to people. Now luckily I don’t truly give a shit about being a “woman” either way, because that is less of a concrete concept than being Asian, but in a way, being a fat hairy manhating Jap AND a woman is the ultimate resistance to these latently/blatantly pedophilic and racist men and I am proud of it. Anime is largely a vehicle for pedophilia and racism I will say that again and again and again and y’all will hate it but it’s true

[ask-this-whole-new-world]

FUN!

*King Dearil wasn't sure what to make of this place. Thanks to some...stuff involving gods angels, demons , and a very enthusiastic pale man in a suit with rainbow eyes, the king of the Galeforce house was busy setting up alliances. Some young maiden that showed him she was in fact a 'Valkyrie' whatever that was. He honestly preferred the term Sheild Maiden or Battle Angels but he's old fashioned. But as he kept walking to this kingdom to speak with the king he overheard the conversation between the king and his new hero. His hero was summoned by magic. Apperntly this young man was very blond with red eyes that held pain. Hm...maybe he was one of these..Champions? That miss Göll wanted to hire. But he heard his case. And then...*

*the line that doomed his kingdom.*

"What do you mean by that!? This is a man's world! The little girls you talk about are fantasy! Their brains are too small and feeble! Unlike men who use logic they use emotions and think of the women who've doomed men!"

"Like like this Pandora woman of Greece!"

*the king then heard the young knight yell back*

"SHE GAVE HUMANITY HOPE AND EVE GAVE HUMANS FREE WILL YOU SHRIVELED UP HUSK! AND WHY DO YOU ENSLAVE THESE MEN!"

*The king then started blabbing about barbarians and civilizing the savages. Honestly the king was ready to sock the man as while he wasn't an altruistic man he was a father who knew the wonderful women his daughters became and a man who saw his beautiful queen for the perfect goddess she is in his eyes.*

*only to be stopped by a loud punching sound. As the king fell the knight glared at him and sighed saying.*

"First time I struck a king willingly."

*baffled the older man walked into the room. He saw the other king. He was young yes but not younger then the knight he then saw the knight whos yellow armour looked worn and dirty like the boy had been in many battles. It was at this point the kings locked eyes.*

*one had the eyes of a soilder who'd wish to make his kingdom safe for his people.*

*the other? A vapid fool with the mind of a child who never grew up.*

*as the older blond patted the knights shoulder the king saw the level of power in him and the difference in ability but kept a calm head and said.*

"Dear boy. What is the meaning of this?"

*the knight then explained the outward disgust he had for the king and his ideals and how he was no better then a common bandit.*

*Dearil however saw a bloody warlord with none of the intelligence or cunning that would make one dangerous as the knight talked the king tried to speak up only for the older king to give zero chance to rebuke his claim as with a simple punch he went flying into his throne and tipped it over.*

*the Emperor of Shadows then looked over.*

"So. This is what the Zorzal El Caesar of the Saderan Empire is? A whining child who lives in his world of self importance?"

*the king of course made a threat and tried to get his guards into the room who were cut down by the knight who then turned and was ready to cut him down but...the king was already headed his way with his sword drawn.*

"I-i-i I am the Emperor! I am the ruler of this mighty and invincible empire do you know what that makes me!?"

*the king just said.*

"Insignificant."

*and with one mighty slash cut him nearly in two as he finished a noble he believes runs into the room and yelled.*

"SIRE SIRE WE HAVE LOCATED THE DEMIHUMAN TRATORRR---"

*his voice died immediately in his throat as he saw a knight and his king over bloody corpses with both blondes looking at each other and pointing their swords at him.*

*the duo spent a few minutes interrogating the nobles who they then slaughtered because of their acts getting a layout of the land making the king scratch his chin*

"This sister of his would do better in the seat of power."

*while talking a bunch of oddly dressed soilders barged in. They held weapons he had not seen and aimed them like they were crossbows while the knight looked at them like he maybe understood what they were. It was at this point a rather brave ginger with burning orange eyes walked towards ready to fight.*

"Who are you? And why the bloodshed?"

"I am Dearil Galefore of the Galefore empire. I had come due to me reaching out looking for allies. All I have seen are a bunch of pathetic fools who enslave others and treat women like their property. This young man is.."

*he was interrupted by the knight saying.*

"I am Oddd---Oersted. My name is Oersted."

*the king then held a hand out like he was waiting for soilder to talk who said.*

"Pico. Pico Newgrounds of the American armed forces. The people behind me are of the Japanese armed forces. I do not understand them but my general told me they are here for the enslaved people taken."

*the king nodded and walked over to Pico and held his hand out again putting his sword away the much younger soilder caught onto his intentions and held up his hand to show they are harmless and lowered his rifle and shook it.*

"I take it you did all this?"

*without a second thought Oersted lied and said.*

"It was self defense as the men before you chose to cowardly attack our unprotected backs."

*Pico sighed and said.*

"Sounds about right."

*the king sighs and not questioning this decided to strike up friendly conversation with the soilders while his own trained guards helped put wherever they could and set up chances for a alliance of sorts.*

*The king isn't sure why. But he was starting to feel a sense of Daja vu whenever he was with Mister Pico. He does hope this alliance lasts. After all. A king and his council are how a land and people stay happy strong and prospering.*

*after a month the combined forces of the JSDF the Tankmen and The Galefore empire worked hard to educate each other on the strengths and weaknesses of each other as they set out to make a united kingdom Pico barged into the room with a soilder by the name of Yōji Itami both happy as they completed a goal. They had fond the princess.*

*Princess Piña Co Lada (What kind of name is Pina? He won't judge. His name is Dear-il so he shouldn't cast stones.)*

*Pico laughed and held up his hand and yelled*

"LETS GET THIS QUEEN HER THRONE!"

the king has a large problem. The hero that was summoned thinks slavery is "a bad thing" and women "should have rights"

[absolutebl]

Given the wide range of BL you've consumed and analyzed. I am curious at your perspective when comparing BLs made/written by men and those that were written by women, in a different direction, comparing BLs directed by men in comparison to women.

If you could have the time and give your perspective in this two sources of BL , that would be great.

Hum, I'm not sure how to answer this. Except in a kind of avoidance way because I question the premise.

I think, in general, in most of the film industry, the original writing has very little to do with the final result, because so many new voices and povs are imposed on it the moment it begins to be adapted. After a BL leaves its author (predominantly female) it goes to script, a writers room, and eventually into the hands of director and team. All those people are different genders (predominantly male). And all of them have a significant impact on the end result.

Sometimes the author has unprecedented influence (mame for example) but that's pretty unusual.

Statistically speaking, the origin IP (whether novel or graphic) is most likely written by a female and the resulting BL most likely directed by a male.

There are always exceptions, of course.

Even putting aside all the other people, mostly script writers, in between the two primaries (which I just don't think you can) it would be statistically challenging to draw any commonalities amongst female directors (since there are so few) or amongst male writers (for the same reason). In other words, we have many many examples of really only 1 of the 4 possible combinations, and all those examples are muddied by the nature of the filming process (not to mention the nature of gender).

In other words, it would be challenging for me to say things are generally preferable in any one version of the pairings.

I have liked BLs written and directed by women, written by a woman directed by a man, written by a man directed by a woman, or written and directed by men (although those last two I would struggle to name any BLs).

However, I have also liked and then disliked BLs from the same general team and combination of genders behind the creatives.

For me, at least, there doesn't seem to be a reliable team or a reliable writer or a reliable director whose BL product I will reliably love.

I would hesitate to place a predictor on my BL taste (or anyone else's) based on the gender of any part of the team behind a BL. That seems..... weird. Especially when queers and 3rd gender etc are involved (and we have always been involved in artistic spaces for as long as humans have existed, I suspect).

But then I feel that way about most entertainment, from music to books to plays to comedy to fashion. I can be a fan of a director's style but not like some of their shows, just as I can be a fan of an actor's performance but not the character they're playing, or a fan of a pair's chemistry but not in those roles, and so forth.

I think what youth and influencers and the internet age has forgotten is that it's okay to admire a creative individual and not slavishly adore everything that they produce. (For fuck's sake though, don't tell them that, you absolute troll.)

Creatives and creative teams also have their own taste, and that may conflict with yours. Especially with newer IP where you might want the same old same old and they need to evolved. Consumers of entertainment are remarkably resistant to creativity, innovation, and change (so oxymoronic) .

It's okay, maybe you'll like their next BL, song, book, painting, performance......

I have no idea how I got here but:

Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.

I do have some stuff on a queer lens here:

[drdemonprince]

hey, i respect the hell out of you! i love seeing your posts, and i have your book on my shelf. i think there is a lot of overlap between trans men and cis men, especially on the grounds of queerness where that is relevant

however, i cant help but feel like any time trans men say "this is specific to us," it gets taken in bad faith. i think there are some experiences trans men have that are specific to them

do you have thoughts on ways to articulate that difference without being "toxic"? i tend to just say 'transphobia' to describe such experiences, but sometimes it feels like any expression of "this is different for me" gets parsed as "im special." im not sure how to navigate that tension, other than trying to be verbally precise, but not everyone has that skillset or luxury.

i want trans men and cis men to find unity, i just also want trans men to feel like they can talk about their marginalization

btw for clarity i am not a trans man, but i am transmasculine so i feel like i have a horse in the race

I appreciate the good faith question, thanks for the message.

What are you referring to when you speak of unique transmasc experiences? I can't think of anything that doesn't fall under the banner of either "transphobia" or "misogyny, caused by transphobia," honestly. Obviously the content of the transphobia looks different for trans women and trans men, because they are different gender identities getting invalidated differently -- but it's still invalidation, entitlement to our bodies, cissexism, lack of healthcare access, and on and on.

If you could give me an example of what you have in mind when you say "this is different for me," I'll let you know what I think. My general reaction that idea is that if you haven't had a trans woman's experience, or a cis woman's experience, or even a cis queer man's experience, how would you know that they don't undergo similar things? Lots of cis women believe that lack of reproductive healthcare access is a uniquely cis women's problem, for instance, completely oblivious to the fact that trans men face even greater barriers to care, and trans women's reproductive needs aren't even considered by most women's clinics at all.

[krisluxxeeempress]

MERCURY OPPOSITE MOON SYNASTRY | ASTRO SYNASTRY SERIES

In Vedic astrology, the moon is also considered the mind. Therefore, we believe the emotional state of ourselves, and others is a direct reflection of our mind and vice versa. With such said, most people do not believe the same and go as far as to thinking “they do not make emotional decisions” and so forth, but in actuality, anything anyone ever does, is with their emotions considered. This misconception and misunderstanding serves as a basis for mercury opposite moon synastry.

The mercury person in this dynamic, thinks they are more logical, practical and should be the leader or shown more respect. The mercury person does not trust or value the moon person especially when it comes to making decisions or thinking rationally. This opposition is most felt in the beginning and the cause for the end of this relationship.

Personally, I have my sun and mercury conjunct in Gemini 8th house. I also have a Pisces moon and Venus in cancer with Pluto in Scorpio however, I cannot stand hearing or dealing with emotional people especially in sectors of business. I find that people are blinded by their emotions, unable to think logically and ultimately, people make things more difficult than they need to be because they are thinking emotionally. Most people are unable to accept or hear clear, concise, and blunt facts. They somehow think you are being rude when you are just being professional or straight forward. Most are too sensitive to hear the truth or direct communication. It’s like people cannot not hear you all of a sudden, similar to speaking under water. They hear you talking but cannot discern what you are saying on both sides. The moon person cannot understand the mercury person and the mercury person can understand the moon person but does not “relate” or value the moon persons logic.  

Oppositions are similar in different ways, they come full circle, however, when mercury is involved there’s little patience, if at all for the moon person. I can see this dynamic in married couples where example, THE MOON PERSON BEING THE WOMAN, DOES “GIRL MATH” WHEN GOING SHOPPING AND THIS INFURIATES THE MERCURY PERSON, BEING THE MAN FOR THE SAKE OF THE EXAMPLE. IN THE VICE VERSA, IF THE MAN IS THE MOON PERSON- HE WILL IMPULSIVELY GO OUT AND BUY A MOTORCYCLE AND WHEN THE wife finds outs, who is the mercury person, this infuriates her because “we cannot afford or need this bike”. The planet mercury and the moon are not directly linked to finances unless mercury is in an earth sign and the moon in a water sign- where my example will be most accurate but hopefully you get the point.

Having this synastry with someone will always cause frustration and arguments because they are sensitive planets. When the mind and emotions come together , usually people are unable to balance this, especially in relationships. The moon person may want to cuddle and talk about feelings, but the mercury person does not want to nor finds a purpose in it. The moon represents feelings amongst other things and astrologically, mercury is in its detriment in water signs including dealing with indidivuals with water placements. Think of technology and water mixing - there is bound to be damage that not even a bowl of rice can revive. To reiterate, the moon person simply does not understand the mercury person and the mercury person understands the moon person but lacks respect for them which in turn may appear like they do not understand the moon person. The mercury person is like “I understand your stupidity, but I cant tolerate nor will I trust it”. The moon person is like” I do not understand why you do not trust me or value my feelings/thoughts and actions contingent on said emotions .

Honestly, this is a typical sexist dynamic in a traditional sense where women’s thoughts, opinions or intelligence is not acknowledged or taken seriously whereas, for men, it is though we know men tend to do the silliest things.

This is not literally a sexist dynamic; I am just using that as an example so we can all understand the vibe of this synastry placement.

It’s one thing to be opposites because as we know they attract but when the moon and mercury are involved, I cannot say these planets and people can work. Again, the mind and emotions have different needs that both lack patience to understand or compromise. Despite the opposition, I do not think this synastry is compatible in anyway. These two will cause more frustration, drama and eventually resentment.

Grant it, there are always other aspects in a synastry chart than may overpower this placement and this couple may be able to make it work but interpretating this synastry aspect alone- I am not hopeful. The moon person values their emotional needs just as much as the mercury person values their thoughts, ideas, and logic. They both refuse to budge on that and in the event, they try, sadly, they will fail.

Imagine, as a couple needing to save money, but you have a partner who keeps spending money running your plans for the future. The one spending money clearly doesn’t understand the importance of saving nor are they able to control their emotional impulses to save. Therefore, whatever progress you try to make, your partner is showing you that they are not on board, don’t understand or their emotional spending needs come first. Will this now frustrate you and lead to resentment? 

Imagine, needing your partner to be a crying shoulder. Someone who you just want to vent to without solutions, judgements and or words that go against your emotions. Imagine crying about something that may be your fault and hearing your partner confirm bluntly, “it’s your fault” with no remorse to your feelings. Or whatever your emotional about, your partner invalids it or refuses to hear or even see your side of things because seeing you emotional is bothersome to them in the sense it annoys them. Will this not hurt you and cause resentment? 

There’s so many examples I can give but the gist is, this couple, this synastry is not compatible and I would save yourself the pain, drama and insecurity that this synastry will produce. You guys are just not on the same page and if you try to work through it, at some point that frustration and resentment is going to blow up like throwing an electronic into water. 

Logic and emotions do not mix.

[robins-den]

I read this manga where two characters were crossdressing as women and the both of them were. It drove me crazy because one of them hated being herself at school (where she was seen as a man) and was so much happier when seen as a woman. And the other one was like "what's the easiest way to talk to this cute girl without scaring her? I'LL DRESS AS A WOMAN AND GO SEE HER" that's not a cis thing to think.

It was so fucking. I Could Not Tell if the author was going to make them officially trans. A character saw one of them go into the men's bathroom. MC was like "oh haha just a mistake!" The character was like "oh I don't think it was, was it" and MC was like "I'm gonna be sick."

IT'S. IT DRIVES ME INSANE. That author. Their days are numbered. Oh my god. Praying the author canonizes them as trans women before they finish the comic or else.

[genderqueerdykes]

I’m really nervous to say this but I think I might be a girl, but it’s confusing because I still think I was born male.

Like, I use he/him for myself sometimes. I don’t consider myself even trans, I’m a girl in a boys body or a girl who was raised/born with a penis. Sometimes I don’t feel like I’m a real Transfem, or like I’m less valid because I still consider myself male to some degree. Or I feel like I’m using transmed language. I know it isn’t true, but the internalized transphobia is real. 😞

(also btw I go by the name Ren, if you could refer to me that way please)

hello there! thanks for taking the time to stop by, we really appreciate it

i totally see where you're coming from. i don't think you have to feel ashamed for thinking/feeling that way right now. i have met so many girls in your situation and it's totally okay to feel that way while you're coming to accept who you are. many transfems are affected by imposter syndrome and i think it's due to the absolutely unrealistic expectations we place on every single transfem. i think it's because of how poorly other people treat you and other transfems

it's really easy to internalize that you're not "really" this or "really" that when other people treat you that way, or you've witnessed that behavior being expressed towards others. it's alright to feel unsure of yourself right now. a lot of trans people start off thinking they're a girl in a boy's body, or a boy in a girl's body. it's alright to not see your body as a girl's body yet. it takes time to accept that. some of my exes have been in the same situation where they still saw their body as a man's body and it's okay. you are a girl in a girl's body, but you've been told otherwise for so long it's okay to take a while to dismantle that

you sound transfem to me, i hope you're able to feel more confident soon as time passes. if possible, it may help you to try to seek out online transfem spaces, i'm part of a few on discord and i see a lot of people being very proactive in helping ease the dysphoria of other transfems. it's so common, you're not alone. some of the most intense dysphoria i've ever seen in a trans person came from the trans girls i've known. and who can blame you? society is so harsh towards trans women

it's okay if you're not perfectly feminine or if you don't fit into any type of box. it's okay if you need time to accept things. and many trans people do end up viewing their lives as "halves". many older trans women i've met have told me about "when they were living as a boy/man" and when they began living as a woman. i've met trans men who say the inverse. it's okay if you feel like you were a boy/man at at one point and are no longer. it's okay to feel like you were born in a boy/man's body and need to transition to make it feel like a girl's body, and your body. however you feel about it, you don't need to feel ashamed of yourself.

you're still a girl, Ren! you're still transfem. imposter syndrome is tough, i hope it eases up for you soon. you don' thave to jump through any hurdles to be transfem- so many transfems out there feel just the same way you do. it's okay

hope that helps, take care for now. please feel free to ask any more questions you may have!