#i like lanky long majima

[majimassqueaktoy]

Honestly I do think Majima looks very handsome in like k2 and stuff where he's pretty fit but peak Majima in my mind is when he's Skinny and kinda sweaty and real sallow looking

[meadowmines]

OC-Tober/Tojoctober Day 13: Rival

[in which Yamaoka comes to harass Aoyagi at work]

"Hey, chief?" The dining room manager actually outranks Aoyagi in the family, but the boss has made it real clear that if you work in the cafe, as long as you're on the clock you answer to Aoyagi. "There's a customer asking for you."

Aoyagi takes off his glasses and pinches the bridge of his nose to ward off the impending headache. He just spent the last half hour in the back office trying to keep the boss from stealing his bro's dessert again. Before that, he had to ...handle a twelve-top of Junsei goons showing their whole asses right there in the dining room "Man, if it's not the boss it's the customers and vice-versa... awright, what's their problem?"

The dining room manager shrugs. "I don't think he's got a problem as such, but he's asking for you. Personally. By name." Uh oh. And just as Aoyagi starts to get an idea who that customer might be, the manager points at a corner booth occupied by a cocky-looking yakuza in a green suit, with a pretty gal tucked under each arm.

Sure. This might as well happen tonight.

Aoyagi grinds his teeth all the way to that corner booth and gives that cocky yakuza his best dead-eyed customer service smile. "Yamaoka-san," he says in his best eat-shit-and-die customer service voice.

Eiji Fucking Yamaoka. Nishikiyama Family lieutenant. World-class asshole. And the very picture, in Aoyagi's mind, of gender envy.

Yamaoka is tall and lanky, with big hands and big feet and legs forever and narrow hips and a flat chest. There's five-o'clock shadow on his chiseled jaw. He has sideburns. There's no question mark on the end when a stranger calls him sir. He's got no shortage of lady friends who either don't know what plumbing he was born with or don't care, and he makes a point of parading them around in front of Aoyagi on the regular.

"Aoyagi-kun!" he beams as Aoyagi grinds his teeth to fine powder behind that customer service smile. "Good to see you! Food's fantastic as always. I was just telling my girls here you've got the best cheesecake in town." He catches the eat shit component of that eat-shit-and-die customer service smile and laughs. "Aw, hell. Where are my manners? Here I am, hogging all the arm candy for myself when you've got nothing. You want blonde or brunette? Go ahead. Take your pick. Plenty more where they came from!"

Yamaoka's arm candy giggles agreeably. "Be nice," the brunette chides with a playful swat to Yamaoka's knee.

"Hey. C'mon. Have a seat, Aoyagi-kun. It won't kill you to take a little break, right?"

"Sorry, Yamaoka-san. I'm on the clock." Aoyagi cranks up the eat shit part of that smile. "And I just had dinner. With my boss."

Just for the barest fraction of a second, there's a crack in Yamaoka's cocky facade. It smooths back over almost before Aoyagi can register it, but just that teensy hairline fracture is enough to give Aoyagi a little bit of a warm fuzzy feeling. "That's a shame," Yamaoka says, all shits and grins again. "Yakuza like us are a rare breed. We gotta look out for each other. But you know Yamaoka-no-nii-san's got your back, little buddy. Even if you are one of the Mad Dog's little fleas."

"This isn't making me wanna hang out with you, Yamaoka-san." Aoyagi would sooner eat a bowl of broken glass than call this fucker nii-san and he knows it.

"I bet you wish you'd sworn up with us instead."

"Nope. Can't say I do."

"Hey." Yamaoka takes his hands off his girls long enough to shrug majestically. "I tried, right? Introduced you to the boss and everything. You could be making some real bank right now. But here you are. Running a cute little cafe for the family of last resort." His grin turns nasty, as it always does sooner or later. "You know that's what everyone says about Majima, right? Your outfit's nothing but every other family's rejects."

"Ever since I was a kid," Aoyagi starts, through his teeth, "all I ever wanted was to own my own restaurant. This is the closest to it I've ever come and for the first time in my life, I can see the finish line. I've got a family that has my back more than you ever will and the best brother anyone could ever ask for. I've got everything I ever wanted in my life thanks to him and if you think I care one damn bit what everyone says about that, then you don't know me." His eyes narrow. "But if you wanna play that game, we could talk about some of the shit everyone says about your boss--"

It's probably just as well that at that exact moment, a snakeskin-clad arm whips around Aoyagi's shoulders in something that could turn into a headlock real quick. Aoyagi isn't the one freaking out at this development, though. No, it's Yamaoka's face that's suddenly gone white as a sheet. Yeah. This one will talk a lot of shit behind someone's back, but put the subject right in front of him and...

"My ears were burnin," the boss says. "Oh? What do we have here?" The boss looks down and his face lights up in (possibly fake but who the fuck knows with him) delight. "Well, if it ain't Yamaoka-han! How's it goin', king shit? Koiboy treatin' ya all right?"

Yamaoka's eye twitches. "Fine. ...sir."

"Hey, A-kun." The boss gives Aoyagi a chummy squeeze. "Yamaoka-han's got a real good point."

"What," Aoyagi says.

"What," Yamaoka says.

"Yakuza like you two are a rare breed. Y'oughta get to know each other better, and I don't give a hot buttered shit whose colors he's flyin'--"

"Sir," Aoyagi grates out, "people are eating here."

"Hey, I'm serious! It's good for a man to hang out with someone who really gets him." Another chummy squeeze. "Ya feel me?"

The delivery on that last bit is... different. Like a little wink-wink that's only meant for Aoyagi's ears. "I... feel ya, sir," he says, carefully, not really sure he wants to know where this is going but too curious to leave it alone.

"Then that's that about that!" The boss lets go of Aoyagi and claps his hands together, rubbing them with glee. "Yer money's no good here tonight, Yamaoka-han!"

"H-hey!" Aoyagi splutters, knowing full well he's going to get the third degree from the boss himself later about why this expensive table got comped.

"And after yer done stuffin' yer faces," the boss goes on, oblivious, "I'll take all of ya out on the town. My treat. Whaddya say?"

In a rare, fleeting moment of the kind of solidarity only ever felt by two people who have no idea what the fuck is going on between Goro Majima's ears and aren't sure they want to know, Aoyagi and Yamaoka trade a wary glance across the table. "Question," Aoyagi says, the verbal equivalent of poking a half-buried landmine with a stick, "what's my brother doing while you're taking me and Yamaoka-san and the girls out on the town?"

"Ehhh..." The boss clears his throat. "...this n' that."

"You're gonna work him half to death, ya mean."

"Hey, don't worry about him! He'll be fine!" That arm whips back around Aoyagi's shoulders and the boss whispers directly into his ear: "You wanna take this cocky buttball down a peg or nah?"

Aoyagi swallows hard. "I... I would like that very much, sir," he whispers back, and the boss just beams.

[zevzevarainai]

short fic prompt for you: Majima and Kiryu competing over which one of them can hold more children at once.

sorry this one isnt very long i didn’t have many ideas

--

Kiryu heard Majima screech. Upon turning around to inspect the noise, it appeared that Taichi had tackled Majima to the ground. Kiryu sighed, but smiled. Majima could obviously take down Taichi, but let him win in a play fight. Every time Majima interacted with the kids, Kiryu fell harder for the man. Much like Majima just did. Into the sand. 

Once Taichi let him up, Majima had scooped him up onto his shoulders. “Uncle Kaz!” Taichi called. “I wanna play chicken fight with Koji!”

Kiryu often forgot Majima’s strength as a result of his appearance. Sure, his abs were defined, but he was still fairly lanky compared to Kiryu. Koji came up behind Kiryu, shaking him. “Uncle Kaz, pppllleeeaaasssseee!” 

He let Koji climb up to his shoulders and stood up with him. “Okay. Just one round.”

“What?!” Izumi came from seemingly nowhere, clinging to Kiryu’s leg. “I wanted a turn!”

Majima squinted deviously. “Hey Kiryu-chan. Bet I could hold more kids than you.”

“What does that even mean?” questioned Kiryu.

“Eri-chan!” Majima barked. “Come ‘ere.”

She giggled as Majima managed to balance Taichi on his shoulders and pick up Eri to put her on his hip. He threw Kiryu a challenging look.

Kiryu glared at him, then gestured for Shiro, who he scooped up and placed on his hip.

Majima got Riona on his other hip. Kiryu did the same with Mitsuo. Majima had Haruka cling to his leg. Kiryu had Ayako cling to his free one. 

“I win,” claimed Kiryu.

“What the heck?!” Majima spat, visibly struggling. “We’re outta kids! That doesn’t count! Give me one, Kiryu-chan.”

“I run the orphanage. Therefore I win.”

“Makes no sense.”

“Eri, Riona-- get off of Uncle Goro. He’s gonna hurt himself.”

They whined but listened. Taichi gave him a break too.

The rest of the kids got off Kiryu, who was seemingly unphased. Majima gave another devious smirk before announcing, “hey, Kiryu-chan.”

“What now?”

Majima ran through the sand to Kiryu, who reacted fast enough to catch him when Majima leapt into his arms, wrapping his legs around his hips and his arms around his neck. Still shaking from holding those children, Majima dug his face into Kiryu’s shoulder. 

“Looks like I can hold the biggest baby of them all,” hummed Kiryu.

Majima giggled. “Asshole Kiryu-chan.”

[meadowmines]

Well apparently I can't edit my tags anymore so re: the seven deadly sins thing...

Aoyagi's deadly sin of choice is gluttony. Not committing so much as enabling--he's a trained pastry chef and restaurant manager and he's passionate about food in general and baking and sweets in particular. If you are important to him in any way, he's going to cook for you. He feeds Nishida at least two or three times a week. He bitches and moans when Majima comes over unannounced to steal books about whatever business scheme he's hyperfocusing on this week but if there is food on the stove you bet your ass the boss will be fed. Yes, he's going to make every attempt to get at least one vegetable down your gullet but he's also going to use you as a guinea pig for at least three different recipes for a cookie or pie or cake he's considering for the cafe menu.

Yamaoka's sin is envy, He's guilty of it, yes, but he's also the object. If you ask Aoyagi to describe what gender/transition envy looks like he will tell you it looks like Eiji Fucking Yamaoka. Yamaoka is tall and lanky and looks great in a suit and he has big feet and narrow hips and he's been on T long enough that he has to shave and worst of all he knows how good he looks and he rubs Aoyagi's nose in it every chance he gets. What we don't find out until the very end of the main story is that he has spent the entire plot seething with envy over everything Aoyagi has that he doesn't--mainly, a boss who really and truly sees him as a man. Also Aoyagi got screwed in every other physical department and has to buy his shoes out of the boys' section but he won the lottery on his voice and Yamaoka (who, before T, passed just fine until the second he opened his mouth and who still occasionally gets called "ma'am" on the phone) hates him with the fury of a thousand burning suns for it.

Kuroshi's sin is wrath. There is absolutely a monster lurking beneath his oh-so-proper Japanese and his cold and calculating exterior and it did not die when he finally got his revenge on Murasaki. Of course revenge was his entire life from the age of (mumble)teen to twenty-three, and that kind of beast never really dies, does it? Does it help that he, as a heavily traumatized teenage boy with an unquenchable thirst for vengeance, had Homare Motherfucking Nishitani as a role model? NO SIR IT DID NOT HELP AT ALL. Yes, Nishitani saved him from some awful shit (by *checks notes* doing a murder for unrelated reasons) but when most people would have called the cops and maybe a social worker, Nishitani went "hell yeah let's do some mayhem about it" and put a knife in this (mumble)teen-year-old kid's hand and helped him plan some 5D shogi master bullshit. (to his credit Nishitani did make Kuroshi swear never to kill anyone unless his own life was in danger and Kuroshi has kept that promise, though there is one scene in the main story where you get an idea of what might cause him to break it...)