#i like how everyones own lamb is just cool and awesome but mine is a total loser | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

raindownforme · 3 years ago

Note

omg omg ok ok so maybe for a request charlie and the reader and how they interact as streamers?? like a friends to lovers au but you can tell how they fall in love through all their interactions online & in games (๑˃̵ᴗ˂̵)

like for example whenever they play on the smp charlie only reaaallly wants to help the reader and when anyone else asks he’s like hm? what? IT JUST SEEMED CUTE IN MY HEAD ☹️💌

Lore

Charlie slimecicle x reader [they/them used]

“Hello twitchers.” y/n smiled into the face cam, watching the chat fly by a mile a minute. They knew they’d draw in a larger audience today, it being their first official stream on the Dream SMP. They loaded up the game, spawning in a wooded area surrounded by cobblestone. “Alright where do we- hello?”

y/n leaned closer to the screen. They could see someone standing behind a tree. Someone in glasses and green blotchy skin. They typed into the in-game chat, trying to get who ever it was to come closer. Thankfully they did, revealing a character named Slimecicle. y/n looked over to the discord server, pulling themselves into a voice channel with the mystery person.

“Hi there!” Slimecicle’s voice rang through y/n’s headphones and they smiled. They liked the sound of his voice. “Im Charlie. Welcome.”

“Thanks. Do you know how to get anywhere?”

“Yeah!” Charlie’s character jumped as y/n followed after him. Charlie led them to a snowy mountainside that had been covered with sand. Someone had built a white mansion and several other buildings, including a fountain and a tall tower. “This is where I live.”

“This mansion?” y/n panned to look around the mountainside. They glanced over to watch their chat fly by.

“No I just live in the country in general. Las Nevadas!” Charlie jumped up and down, punching y/n in a friendly manner. “Oh are you hungry? I have food!”

Charlie’s character threw a stack of lamb chops at y/n. They smiled at him, then quickly realized he couldn’t see them. “Thanks! Where is this by the way.”

“Only the best country ever. It’s Las Nevadas! Do you want to live here?”

“Sure!” y/n followed as Charlie ran around. He showed them all around the country; the casino, the strip club, the restaurant, and even the garden. “Charlie this is so cool!”

“I know!” Charlie jumped up and down in a circle. “I’m not the guy who owns it but I’m sure he’d like to meet you.”

“Oh.” y/n paused, biting their cheek. “Will he be okay with me being here?”

“Of course he will. It’s Quackity! Let’s find you somewhere to live.” y/n followed Charlie to the tall white tower. He led them behind it to a flat plot of sand. “Here! We’ll be neighbors.”

“Awesome. I don’t have anything to build with yet but-“

“Oh here!” Charlie ran into the base of the tower, coming back 30 seconds later. He threw two stacks of oak logs to y/n. “Is this what you needed?”

“I- yeah. That’s a lot of wood.”

“I want you to have it!”

y/n smiled bashfully, trying to swallow the heat rising to their cheeks. They could see their twitch chat running by with messages asking if it was lore or cannon. “Here. Take this then.”

Charlie marveled at the flower y/n had tossed him, a blue cornflower. He smiled, holding a hand over his mouth to hide from the prying eyes of his own twitch chat. “Thank you.”

y/n began running around the plot, randomly placing oak planks to make a frame for their house. They tossed Charlie some planks, allowing him to help build up the home. They continued beholding for another half an hour, allowing y/n to have a gorgeous one story home with room for storage and supplies.

“Thanks for all your help today.”

“Of course! Do I get to see you again?”

y/n smiled, glancing over at discord to make sure they’d requested to be friends with Charlie. “Of course! I’ll see you around the server?”

y/n and Charlie saw each other quite often around the server. y/n logged on, Charlie was there. They’d spend hours in the game mining together, building structures, hunting. It went on months of them interacting in streams and lore exclusively.

“You can’t do this Quackity.” y/n spoke slowly. They’d been practicing the recording for this lore for weeks now, and thank god it wasn’t live. “I trust you, and I’m glad we’re friends, but this? Burning it all? What will that do for you. What will any of this do for you?”

“I know you haven’t been here as long, but this is my fucking country. It’s my fucking war. Who the hell are you to think you have any understanding of this? And ideas?”

“Because this isn’t how it works. This isn’t going to work. How many times have you tried this and it just hasn’t happened or you? I don’t know, maybe think about Schlatt? Or Technoblade?”

Quackity froze, being eerily silent. y/n glanced over at the script, making sure nothing was missed. “How do you know about that? Who told you about that?” Quackity’s character ran forward with a diamond sword in hand. “That is none of your business.”

“It’s none of your business how I know.” y/n backed away from Quackity as he walked closer. “I may not have been here long but I have friends.”

“What friends you have-“ he paused, realization setting in. “You have Slime. My friend.”

Quackity came at y/n swinging, they tried to fight back, blocking with a shield and iron sword. “Quackity enough! This isn’t what you want! Quackity please-“

y/n stopped, holding a breath and muting their mic. Quackity had landed the final blow, taking their first cannon life. They moved slightly away from their set up, making sure to not touch any keys. They knew Quackity was still recording, and Charlie’s part was coming soon.

Quackity panted. Taking a shaky breath. “Fuck. Okay. God I can’t believe-“ y/n waited expectantly. Quackity’s pause meant that he saw Charlie. “Oh. Hey bud.”

“Quackity from Las Nevadas.” Charlie almost sounded like he was crying. “What did you do?”

“Slime, you don’t understand, they knew more than they should-“

“So you killed them?” Quackity was quiet. y/n silently cheered to themselves, proud of both Charlie and Quackity’s acting. “You- you took my friend. You took my friend away and- are they coming back? Is y/n coming back?”

“Slime, I took one life. It doesn’t matter. They don’t matter. They didn’t care about Las Nevadas, not like we do.” y/n could hear Quackity’s character moving from his audio in the discord call. “It’s you and me Slime, my best friend.”

“No.”

“No?” y/n looked over the shared script, searching for what part was happening. They hadn’t read this far ahead. “What do you mean no?”

“I cared about y/n. They were my friend. This is not how you treat a friend.”

“And how would you know?”

“Because I know Quackity. I know.”

Charlie and Quackity came to a halt, waiting a moment before speaking again. “That was great!” y/n exited the Minecraft world, turning their full attention to the discord call. Quackity had his camera on, smiling, but Charlie still kept his camera off. “Was there anything else to record today?”

“No that’s it.” There was some clicking from Quackity’s end. “Thanks again. I’ll talk to you later?”

“Yeah, later.”

Quackity exited the discord call, leaving Charlie and y/n in silence. Charlie cleared his throat, turning on his camera. His room was lit by just the lights behind his set up, casting his shadow over the shelves of stuffed toys and collectibles behind him. “Hey.”

“Hey!” y/n felt their face grow warm slightly. “I didn’t realize there was that much more to the script.”

“Yeah.”

y/n chewed the inside of their cheek. It almost sounded like Charlie was disappointed. “Are you okay? You sound upset.”

“I just-“ Charlie paused, resting his chin on his propped-up hands. “What do we do now? I don’t want to stop playing minecraft with you.”

“Charlie we don’t have to stop. Just because the lore goes one way doesn’t mean that we can’t interact.”

“But continuity-“

“You’re thinking like DnD.” y/n smiled gently at him. “If you still want to play together we can, it’ll just be like a secret. Or we can do our own lore. I’m sure if we talk to everyone about it me and you can write something.” Charlie didn’t say anything, and they frowned. “Is there something else?”

“I kind wish they didn’t kill you so early. I’ve still got my lives.”

“Maybe Quackity will kill you next.”

“That’s not-“ Charlie huffed, running a hand through his hair. “I like the character dynamic. I like us interacting. I like us.”

y/n paused, their face burning. They’d be lying if they said they hadn’t thought about the dynamic between themself and Charlie. The clips of them talking on late night streams. The fan-art all over Twitter. The edits recommended to them on Instagram. Hell, they thought about it even without seeing any prompted content. Charlie was on their mind most of the day. They’d constantly find themselves checking twitch to see if he was live or discord to see if he was active. Charlie had become a constant in y/n’s life and they indulged themself in it. “I like the dynamic too.”

“Well we don’t have that dynamic if you stop being part of Las Nevadas. There isn’t us.”

“Charlie, what are you talking about?”

“I’ve been— fucking— I’ve been using this stupid server to get closer to you. I thought that maybe you liked us the way that I liked us and I- I don’t know what I’m doing now.” Charlie rubbed his hands over his eyes. “I just didn’t want you to go.”

“Charlie I’m not going anywhere. I like us too.”

“You do?” Charlie perked up a bit, seeming more enthusiastic.

“Just cause we write lore doesn’t mean it affects us. Here, watch this.” y/n went onto the shared script, hoping Charlie still had it open, and began to type. They wrote about how y/n would possibly live alone in the woods on the outskirts of Las Nevadas, staying close to Charlie.

They could see Charlie smile on the other end of the call, then emit the sound of keys tapping. y/n watched as the words appeared on the page: Charlie tells y/n how he feels.

y/n gasped and turned back to the discord call. “I wanted to tell you soon. I guess I didn’t realize how upset the recording would make me.”

“Charlie, how long have you had a crush on me?”

“Uh, remember your first day?” y/n nodded eagerly. “Yeah. Probably about there.”

y/n turned back to the shared document, typing furiously. “It’s a good thing I like you too.”

Charlie smiled widely at the words; y/n returns his affection. He smiled at the discord call, resting his face in his hands. “Well then, what’s next for our lore darling?”

y/n chuckled, going back to open minecraft. “Help me make a new house.”

“Only if my bed can be next to yours.”

“Deal.”

They could hear Charlie tapping on his keyboard as he loaded in the game. “I know we haven’t met in person, but I’m serious. I like you.”

“And I’m serious. I like you too.” y/n looked at Charlie’s character on their screen. “It does kind of suck we’ve never met but that doesn’t mean-“

“I bought a ticket.”

“W-what? What kind of ticket?”

“A plane ticket. For next week. I mean if that’s okay. I can still cancel it.”

“No! I mean yes. I’d be delighted to have you come over Charlie.” y/n felt their smile soften.

“Can I still have a bed then?”

“Yes!” y/n laughed, going back to the game. They placed two beds side-by-side in the open air. “How’s this?”

“Better.” Charlie’s character went to stand on one of the beds. “Maybe we can write something different- oh.”

y/n looked at the document. Quackity had left them a comment on their new writing, telling them to flirt elsewhere. “Well, I guess he had a point.”

“Back to the game then darling?”

y/n smiled bashfully at the nickname. “Back to the game.”

#charlie slimecicle my beloved #charlie slimecicle #charlie slimecicle x reader #slimecicle #slimecicle x reader #dsmp fanfic #dsmp x reader #dsmp #lunch club #lunch club x reader #chuckle sandwich #chuckle sammy

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whiskynottea · 6 years ago

Text

An interruption in the 1st law of thermodynamics.

Previously, Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10 Chapter 11 Chapter 12 Chapter 13 Chapter 14 Chapter 15 Chapter 16 Chapter 17 Chapter 18 Chapter 19 Chapter 20 Chapter 21 Chapter 22 Chapter 23 Chapter 24 Chapter 25 Chapter 26 Chapter 27 Chapter 28 Chapter 29 Chapter 30 Chapter 31 Chapter 32 Chapter 33 Chapter 34 Chapter 35

@theministerskat, thank you for being my awesome beta for this story!!

Chapter 36. Almond and Cherries

Spring break.

My last spring break as a teenager. The one in which my suspicion that adults can be just as ridiculous as teenagers was confirmed. And that they’re especially ridiculous when they think themselves funny.

Another silly bit of knowledge I also learned overt spring break was that adults - particularly my uncle - find young love adorable. And because of that, they think it’s quite funny to tease young lovers about it.

“Claire,” Lamb said from his spot in front of the bookshelf. He had been standing there for more than ten minutes, inspecting the books with a frown on his face, his index finger drumming against his chin. “Can you please get me the volumes on the Jacobite rebellion from my desk? Those ones, with the red leather cover,” he pointed towards his desk and my gaze followed his finger across the room, landing on the large hardcover tomes on his desk, their covers a deep burgundy, carved with black letters.

“That’s burgundy, not red,” I playfully snipped, then I rose from the couch, sighing. I walked to his desk, slipping my phone into my pocket just a second before I picked the books up in my hands.

“Well, look at that now,” Lamb said with a cocked eyebrow and a crooked smile. “I would swear that phone was glued to your hand!”

I shot him a glare before rolling my eyes. “Ha, ha, ha. What a funny uncle I have.”

Lamb chuckled at his own joke and extended a hand to take a volume from me. “Yer a lucky lass,” he said, his Scottish accent even worse than mine.

Remarks like that had become a staple in our interactions during spring break because, apparently, I was always texting, half my mind focused on Jamie. The fact that I took a new selfie every two minutes didn’t help with Lamb’s teasing much, but there was nothing I could do about it. Lamb just went on with his hilarious remarks and I thought my eyes would get stuck looking skywards from being rolled all the time.

My phone buzzed with hundreds of messages every day – and every night: the night texts being the reason I never let it out of my sight. Lamb’s teasing of me was bearable, but I couldn’t risk him accidentally reading Jamie’s texts about what he planned to do to me once he was back from Lallybroch. I, however, found myself scrolling up every night before sleeping, reading and rereading his texts, feeling an ache in my chest and a tightening low in my belly. It was like getting drunk on him. I usually fell asleep with a silly smile on my face and one of Jamie’s pictures on my phone’s screen.

Jamie’s pictures. In just a few days my phone was full of them, to an extent that proved detrimental to my phone’s free storage space.

Jamie in bed, with tousled hair and a sleepy smile.

Scot: Moooorning, Sassenach.

And then, after a long silence on my part because I was obviously still sleeping,

Scot: Wake up, babe! Don’t leave me alone!

The porridge Jamie had for breakfast – extremely similar to the one he had had the day before, but still worth sharing.

Scot: Breakfast! Have to eat fast, da waiting to leave for the distillery.

Jamie at the distillery, making a goofy face in front of the copper stills.

Scot: Hard working man, here. You like?

His distillery picture - every time at a different place of the distillery - came through at approximately the time I woke up.

Sassenach: Mmmm. Morning!

Another picture showing half the ceiling and half Jamie’s face, taken from a weird angle.

Sassenach: What’s this?

Scot: Da watching. Was the best I could do.

Jamie’s time at the distillery was the only part of the day when we didn’t text. Brian was serious about his son’s training concerning the family whisky, and Jamie soon realized that since he was going to be there, he better make it count. It would be a few hours later when another picture would arrive.

Jamie back home, grinning broadly to the camera next to Bran, his deerhound, patiently awaiting his favorite human to stop with the nonsense and play with him.

Scot: Back home!

Sassenach: Play-time?

Scot: Going to run up the hill, Sassenach. Train to keep up with the lack of swimming ☹️

Jamie with Bran again, the human feigning sleep, while the dog slept on his lap.

Scot: DEAD

Sassenach: Oh what a pity! You’re not coming back, then?

Scot: YOU WISH

Sassenach: In fact I’m not.

Scot: Can’t wait to kiss you again. To lick you, to touch you.

Sassenach: OMG CAN YOU STOP IT?

Scot: I’ve big plans for you when I get back. 😏

Sassenach: Have you now?

Scot: Wait and you’ll see. What are you doing?

Sassenach: Studying! Won’t YOU study??

Scot: Ffs

Jamie in his room, my notes and the book in front of him.

Scot: Not the same without you.

Sassenach: I know…

We’d study together then, usually until our eyes hurt and our yawns took the better of us. The last picture he always sent me was of him looking just as sleepy as the first picture of the day.

Jamie’s face covering the whole screen, sending me a goodnight kiss.

Jamie, Jamie, Jamie. He was everywhere, and yet I missed him insufferably much.

Apart from texting with Jamie - that took more time than one could imagine - my spring break was quiet, and I finally found time to catch up with Joe. It was unbelievable how the two of us were perfectly synchronized in finding love. And we both fell face first into that buzzing feeling that took hold of all our senses.

Two days before going back to school, Joe and I finally arranged to meet. We had so much to tell and texts seemed insufficient. I sent my morning selfie to Jamie, teasing him about staying at home to study while I went out. A series of angry emojis arrived seconds after my message was seen. After a bunch of hearts of all colours from me, he suggested we go to his favorite bakehouse, and I texted Joe with the address.

Sassenach: Are you sure you don’t want to be the one who’ll take me there for the first time?

Scot: Nah, Sassenach. It’s okay. If you like it we can go as many times as we want.

Scot: Try the cherry and almond tart!

I was getting dressed and didn’t reply. When I checked my phone again, I had two new messages.

Scot: Try the tart. Seriously.

Scot: It’s the beeeest. My fav.

Smiling, I texted back.

Sassenach: Okay! I’ll order your tart!

One hour later, I was sitting at a small cute table in the corner of the shop, a big piece of the cherry and almond tart in front of me, next to my cup of chai. I had three major subjects to discuss with Joe, and we jumped from one to the other several times every minute.

Jamie. Gail. Our exams.

I knew he was madly in love with Gail – actually the whole school knew, one glance at the two of them and everyone could see it – and my heart swelled when I heard him talking about her, his voice low and mellow, her name bringing a soft curve to his lips and a sparkle in his eyes. He got dreamy when he told me how they were spending their days, how they loved the same things, how her left cheek had this infinitesimally small dimple when she laughed. We talked about her family and her ideas, the way she saw the world – which had clearly affected Joe. Long gone was his cynical side, his absolute beliefs. He was softer somehow, his edges smoother.

“I certainly need to get to know her better! She sounds so awesome, Joe!”

“She is,” he said with a sheepish smile.

“We’re lucky, aren’t we?” I asked, beaming. “Who would imagine that Scotland would be this good. I got to meet the most amazing people - you included,” I smirked, and Joe smiled back.

“I know, LJ. Pretty awesome, ain’t it?” He then took on one of his teasing looks, and I knew I was in trouble. “Amazing people… Who would have guessed,” he said and I raised an eyebrow. “If I remember correctly, I have a text here… somewhere...” he unlocked his phone, pretending to search for the text. “Saying ‘Jamie Fraser can go fuck himself’ or something along these lines?”

I scoffed and narrowed my eyes at him.

“And here we are now,” he continued, “With you unable to stop babbling about your dashing Highlander.”

“Well,” I shrugged. “He turned out to be a bit better than I thought.”

“A bit,” Joe smirked. “So did he fuck himself? Or did you help him with it?”

I burst out in laughter, feeling my cheeks burn crimson.

“Oh I see,” Joe said, winking at me.

The bastard.

After the enormous amount of time it took me to catch my breath, I decided the best I could do was to change the subject. “So,” I said. “Universities. Where will you apply? Do you still plan on going back to the US?”

“Hell yes! Scotland is great, lass,” he said winking at me – again –, “But we’re definitely going to the US, bae!”

“Where?” I asked smiling at the thought of studying in the US.

“New. York. City.” Joe said with a smug grin. “At least we hope so,” he added, sobering up a bit.

“That’s so cool! School of Medicine and…?” I trailed off, not knowing Gail’s goals.

“Silver School of Social Work, for Gail. She’ll be great, she’s made for it.” Joe took a big bite of his chocolate brownie. “And you?”

“Oxford University, both of us.” I said, proud of our choice. “I’ll miss you so much,” I added with a pout. “But it’s going to be so good, Joe!” Joe’s smile became broader, just a second before I heard an all too familiar voice, low and deep, coming from behind my ear.

“Oh yes. It’s going to be amazing, Joe.” I could hear the grin in his voice, but I couldn’t turn, my eyes wide looking at Joe. “Hello, babe,” Jamie said, and I felt his lips warm on the tender skin of my neck. He lingered a bit, breathing me in, and then moved away, making me long for more.

“What are you doing here?” I asked, my voice high pitched with excitement.

“I told you I missed you,” Jamie answered, plopping himself down on the chair next to me.

I shook my head, taking his face in my hands. “You’re incredible.”

Jamie smiled and kissed me, and I lost myself in the sweet taste of his lips – or was that the dessert on my lips – and the heat that rose in my body - an effect Jamie always had on me when so close.

“Ahem.” Joe pretended to clear his throat before he laughed. We broke the kiss, smiling sheepishly.

“My cherry tart!” Jamie said, licking his lips as he reached for my fork. The last bite was still on my plate.

“So, what do you think you’re doing?” I asked, trying to hide the smile I felt springing up on my face.

“Eating my order?” He smiled smugly and I realized the reason he insisted on me ordering his favorite dessert. “At least ye left me a bite!”

“You fool,” I said, pinching his ribs.

Jamie swallowed and kissed me once more. His hand trailed up my thigh until it found mine on my lap and our fingers intertwined, finally in the right place. He told us that had taken the morning train from Inverness and came back – alone. His coach had called, asking him if he could at least be there for Sunday training and after the exemplary behavior he’d shown during the break, his dad allowed him to go. Ian and Jenny would return the next day. My mind ran so fast, thinking of the possibilities over and over.

Was Murtagh at home?

We left the bakehouse almost half an hour later, parting ways with Joe who was headed to meet Gail at the library.

“Finally,” Jamie breathed in my ear.

I shot him a knowing glance but he spoke before I could say anything.

“Dinna get me wrong, Sassenach, Joe is a verra fine lad and all, but I haven't seen ye in twelve days and tis making me crazy.”

“Crazy?” I asked. “Crazy, how?”

I found myself pushed into a close, my back flush on the rough stone, my lip taken hostage by Jamie's teeth.

“Crazy,” he said and our tongues collided, thirsty for each other. “Like,” He bit me lightly and his hand snuck under my coat, then under my sweater, until it was resting on my bare skin. Goosebumps rose in his fingers’ wake, and I didn’t know if they were from his cold hand or the heat of being touched. “That,” he concluded, one hand cupping my breast and the other my butt. Searching for connection, as much connection as possible. It was a need, a reaction necessary for survival and we couldn't but surrender to it.

“Oh God, Jamie.” His mouth left mine and he licked a trail down my neck, making me shiver.

“I want you,” he sighed. “I need you. I need to get my hands on you, on all of you, and feel your skin burn under my fingers and feel your breath come faster in my mouth. Ye wear,” he said, squeezing my butt, “too many bloody clothes, Sassenach.”

I moaned and laughed, and I opened my eyes, realizing where we were. People were passing by the close. Just a slight turn of their heads and they would see us. Burning.

“Jamie,” I stopped him, regretting it the moment I did it. “People are passing by right next to us.”

He opened his eyes and looked around, as if taking the place in for the first time. He took his hands off me with great difficulty, leaning his forehead against mine. “Ye’ll be the death of me,” he whispered, a small lopsided smile on his face. He breathed twice; full, deep breaths. “Claire,” he said then, his thumb running on my cheek, and he moved a strong arm to envelope me in his warmth. My body responded immediately, my hand coming to rest over his heart, feeling it pounding. “My training is tomorrow and Murtagh is in Glasgow. He will be there for at least four more hours. Come home with me.”

I felt my body melting into his, flesh igniting, our hearts beating to a rhythm that was ours alone. I nodded and kissed his soft smile; a kiss that tasted like almond, cherries, and happiness. Jamie took my hand and led me back to the main street, and I wondered if I could walk all the way to his house, my breath already coming short and shallow. Burning with love.

Chapter 37

#thermodynamics #The first law of thermodynamics #high school AU #jamie x claire #outlander fanfic #outlander fanfiction

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making-a-supperer · 6 years ago

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#4. The HOBNOB

277 Sheridan Rd, Racine, WI 53403 Sat, Feb 23 @5pm

hob•nob – to socialize, mix, associate, hang out (informal) mingle, consort, hang about, keep company, fraternize.

Before I headed off to Portland to spend the whole month of March with some of my grandkids, Lauren and I decided to squeeze in our fourth supper club of the year by the end of the Polar Vortex month of February. Great decision, especially as we targeted the HOBNOB in Racine, a very popular supper club that has been high on our radar for the past couple of years. The HOBNOB’s lakeside setting and old fashioned décor are highlighted in many of the fine WI Supper Clubs books out there. While the rainy-foggy evening clouded the lake view, our spirits weren’t dampened on this much-anticipated evening.

The HOBNOB has always been a family-owned business. The Higgins family opened the original HOBNOB in downtown Racine in the 1930s. Higgins and his two sons started building the current HOBNOB in 1952, which took two years to complete. Michael Aletto, purchased the HOBNOB in February 1990. It was a smooth transition, as Aletto kept many of the Higgins' family recipes and included some from his family's restaurant in Illinois. Michael’s wife and co-owner Anne Glowacki says most of the menu items are prepared in-house, including all the sauces and soups. She says they take a lot of pride in the daily preparation of the food, the dining set-ups and the bar. This is a very unique place that accommodates special occasions with its excellent food, private rooms, live entertainment on the weekends, and of course signature ice cream drinks!

Higgins to Aletto hand-off in 1990?

Our Making-A-Supperer victims for this round were my longtime family friends Ginny and Tom, whose family grew up along mine in the NorthShore part of Milwaukee. Soccer is a huge part of our connection as I coached their son Ian, Ginny started the Women’s Soccer Club which my ex-wife played in, and “Big Tom” and I have played with the old-timers for the past 20+ years. They have 6 (maybe 7, hard to keep track) beautiful kids and Ginny comes from a family of 16 kids (maybe 17). That rather large crew held the world record for largest family band, besting the Von Trapp’s from The Sound of Music fame. I love sharing that tidbit. It was great to catch up on Ginny and Tom’s kid’s lives during our cozy 30 minute drive from Glendale to Racine. And like Lauren, Ginny is a gourmet cook so there’s that connection as well. Really love these guys!

So this HOBNOB place has really cool spaces. The Belmar Room, just off to the left as you walk down the main hallway, has lavish off-white half-circle booths and tables with its own bar. This room can be booked for special events and it houses live entertainment on the weekends. There is also the private little Moroccan Room, which fit up to 6 in cozy quarters, farther down the main hallway. This is a must dining spot in the future. The Cocktail Lounge, AKA the main bar area, runs nearly the length of the main dining room and here’s where the full vibe of the past comes to life. Circular leatherette booths, dim lighting, swanky music, and cocktail glasses as far as the eye can see. Even the coat room oozes with old school charm. Why have we never been here before?

The Belmar Room in front. Private Party Time!

We were seated in the Terrace Room, which normally has an awesome view of Lake Michigan. But again it was rainy-foggy so we focused our attention on the menu. We started off with the crab stuffed mushrooms and calamari, which came highly recommended by our server Debbie. Of course I had to badger Debbie about our Making-A-Supperer tour and I had her be the first to sign our invite post card – a new tradition. Debbie has worked here on-and-off since ’98 and she offered a few stories about the place. She quickly offered Lauren a replacement for her too-strong Manhattan and she did recover nicely from missing Ginny’s knife. She was a very good sport with putting up with our goofiness and I didn’t hold it against her for never hearing of the Making-A-Murderer Netflix series. I’m guessing the gravitational pull from Chicago is greater than from Manitowoc for “Raciners”. Anyways, giving the HOBNOB a 4.25 service rating. And the mushrooms and calamari were tasty but not quite spectacular.

The Cocktail Lounge area. Bit dark and noisy - in a very good way!

Tom and I savored fine whiskey Old Fashioneds as the group ordered entrees. Of course we had our regular little spat about a “guideline” of everyone ordering something different so we could max out our menu sampling. Lauren is good with ordering first so she never runs afoul of this “guideline” – but she’s not a fan. But it is just a “guideline”, so… ☺ Lauren picked the Filet Oscar, Ginny the Lamb Shank, Tom the Whitefish, and I chose the Prime Rib. All of the dishes were very well prepared and delicious. But Lauren is the real foodie so I’ll let her blog post address the juicy details of the entrees. Lauren and Tom rated their Filet Oscar and Whitefish as 5 stars, Ginny rated her lamb shank as a 4, and I gave my prime rib as a 4.5. So a 4.5 overall food rating. The crazy thing was we didn’t take a single picture of our entrees – we were too busy enjoying each other’s company and family stories. Such a comfortable place that we forgot to do our job. So Google to the rescue for an entree shot.

We did splurge a bit, even without adequate tummy room, on a few desserts. Tom ordered the towering Banana Banshee ice cream drink, Ginny the chocolate torte, and Lauren and I shared a classic crème brulee. Ok, we all shared everything. It was all delicious – and way too much food for the evening. But, when in Rome…

Big Banana Banshee dessert for Big Tom

The big hitter for the HOBNOB is certainly ambiance. The combination of the lake views, the special rooms, the vintage décor, the outdoor neon signs, the original owners photos in the entrance, the Cocktail Lounge, and the so on and so make this quite the supper club destination. We give it a 5.0 rating for ambiance and I can’t imagine any other remaining supper clubs on our tour exceeding this kind of package. But surprise me.

So we’re giving the HOBNOB an overall rating of 4.75, tying it with the Five O’Clock Steakhouse for our highest ranking so far this year. And the average cost of $63/person was much lower than the Five O’Clocks $105/person cost so that helped the HOBNOB rating. We’ve only hit 4 of our 19 targeted clubs so far, but I wouldn’t be surprised if these 2 clubs stay at the top of our list at year’s end. It will be interesting to see how central and northern Wisconsin fares against these early leaders. They could get killed, in a Making-A-Supper manner. BTW, Facebook gives the HOBNOB a 4.5 rating.

Ginny trades in Big Tom for Big Chair

Speaking of Making-A-Supperer, this supper was a bust relative to Steven Avery guilty or not discussion. Server Debbie was guilty of Netflix ignorance and Ginny and Tom obviously have better things to do with all of their gang than watch Netflix murder documentaries. After a painful series overview and much egging on, Tom offered a surprisingly low 7% guilty verdict, heavily influenced by his suspicions of a corrupt sheriff’s department. Ginny finally rested at a 45% guilty verdict, which was probably influenced more by her torte than my boring series overview. I’m hoping our next supper victims will be a little more educated on the Avery story. I think we need to find a Manitowoc supper club next…

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carasstarwarsmusings · 7 years ago

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Fanfiction Writer Appreciation Day!

So I didn’t know this was a thing till last night. But it seemed like a sign to do an update rec post. Some of these are copied from my previous Reylo fic rec post, but there are new ones added.

By the amazing @perrydowning:

Star Wars universe

Thwarted - This is in everyone’s rec list, isn’t it? I mean, if it isn’t I assume that’s cause people just assume everyone’s already reading it.

Decision - Like, she breaks our heart by starting this story with Kylo killing Rey. But she starts to visit him as a force ghost.

By the completely and utterly amazing @juuls

Star Wars universe

Codega - I held out on reading this for awhile cause I was just like not into the idea of a Rey/Kylo/Hux dynamic but I gave eventually and okay, this story is awesome.

Gradations - Slow burn, Kylo is left for dead after Snoke decides this apprentice is defective and he needs a new model. He is found by the Resistance and is now a Resistance prisoner. Rey, training with Luke, is feeling more at odds with her master, and having a growing force bond and connection with Kylo.

Mitzvah - This is an arranged marriage canon compliant Reylo fic. And it’s good, so very very good.

I’d Start A War For You - I find the ideas in this fic regarding the knights of Ren and Snoke’s manipulation brilliant.

Feedback - Smut, but smut that’s a good character study too, IMHO.

Haze - AU as it’s an omegaverse fic, but still trying to be closely canon compliant. I’ve been wearing my “Reylux Smut!” hat since the end of chapter 3 as I eagerly await what is coming in chapter 4. And Reylux isn’t even my ship!

By one of the queens of smut @pissbabysithlord

Star Wars universe

Bathwater - Wait, this shameless smut started to get a plot?!? This is explicit, very explicit, but has been getting interesting.

Captain - One shot smut with a smuggler Ben AU.

Witch/Demon AU

Honeysuckle - Smutty one shot in a demon Kylo/witch Rey AU. Good, funny, smutty.

Obsidian - An equally smutty sequel to Honeysuckle.

By the great @these-are-the-first-steps

Star Wars universe

Prey - Like Thwarted, this should be on everyone’s reading list.

Exigence in Force Majeure - Renperor hate marriage AU. Very very good.

By the awesome @ava-dalo

Star Wars universe

Take No Prisoners - This fic is dark, kinda creepy, but funny as all hell and has my favorite Rey characterization of all time. Just completed. The entire series it’s a part of is excellent.

Battle Tactics - Answering the question of how easy it is to sneak off and bang during a battle when you’re wearing layers of armor and clothing. Answer- not easy at all. Funny and smutty, read it.

Modern AU

Under Skies You Could Drown In - Modern AU but paranormally. Really really good. I’m slightly obsessed with this fic.

By the super cool and talented @kyloheyo

Modern AU’s

An Empire’s Fall - Immortal and Soulmate AU. Rey wakes up on a beach in Chicago with no memory. Things start getting interesting and weird from there.

A Shadow of You - Ghost Kylo and spirit seeing Rey AU.

By the talented @nottheyounglings

Star Wars Universe

When The Day Loved The Night - The Resistance had fallen and Rey has been forced to marry Kylo. All is not exactly what it seems. The prose is beautiful and the story has some unexpected twists.

By the awesome @otterlyanonymous

Sci-Fi non-Star Wars universe AU

Xenophobia - This story is such a unique AU. Read it, just read it. It’s good, I promise.

By the phenomenal @hauscrashburn

Mixed Star Wars ‘verse and AUs

Conflicts Internal - One shots, lots of smut, so good.

Silence of the Lambs AU

Her Becoming - This fic is so so so so so good. I mean that with all my heart. Violent (it is a Hannibal/Red Dragon/Silence of the Lambs AU so that should be expected) and heart pounding in places, heart wrenching in others.

By the great @terapid

Star Wars ‘Verse

The Kyber Slipper - A cinderella Reylo retelling. Really good, kinda smutty, I’d love to see it expanded.

Modern AU

Sanctuary - Archangels and demons AU. Sexual tension and some smut and a very gripping story.

By @mollymatterrs

medieval AU

A Worthy King - King Kylo seeks Lady Rey to be his bride. Some smut, but so good. I’d love to see more in this AU.

By @peradii

Star Wars ‘verse

Don’t Go Gentle - Reyux one shot that is a brilliant character study.

By @ns0241

Star Wars ‘verse

Dark Possession - Forced marriage stolkholm sydromey Rey.

By @darth-ej

Demon AU

Demonology 101 - For some reason I kept bypassing this fic. It just wasn’t seeming that appealing to me. Do not make the same mistake. This fic is amazingly well written and very unique and you should be reading it now.

By @oscarius

Zombie AU

Lockjaw - A zombie AU. Let me stress here that not only am I kinda meh often on AUs, but I also really don’t like the zombie genre. It doesn’t matter. This fic is awesome and the writing is great, and I wait on pins and needles for the next update.

By cobwebbing

Star Wars ‘Verse

Made To Measure - PWP, but really enjoyable.

By Arrowswillguideyou

Modern AU

Tonight You’re Mine - This is the type of fic I don’t usually get into at all and I’m very into this one. I love the characterizations. Modern AU.

Vampire AU

Enjoy the Silence - Vampire Kylo gets all obsessy about Rey

By @lucidlucy

Greek Gods AU

Aegis - A bit of a retelling of Hades and Persephone. It’s so so so good.

By PontMercy44

Medieval AU

Primae Noctis - Baron Kylo and Serf Rey. Smut, longing, an arrogant Kylo and a stubborn Rey. Read the end notes for interesting comments about historical accurancy and inaccuracy.

By @kylorenvevo

Star Wars ‘Verse

Landscape with a Blur of Conquerors - Arranged Reylo marriage and they really don’t like each other. Wonderful so far.

By @shwtlee4reylo

Vampire AU

Nightwalker - Vampire Kylo and Rey. Love it so far.

By iliveinthemoon

Star Wars ‘Verse

Huntress - Smuggler Ben and Dark Rey. Love it.

By @waterlilyrose

Modern AU

Respite - Modern AU with damaged people and love and longing. Just read this. It’s good.

Fics I like but haven’t been updated in awhile

Unfinished Matters by adelheid - Star Wars universe au. Okay, warning that it’s a really dark and icky to start with, but lots of potential here. Only two chapters so far.

Culmative Illusions by ElmiDol - Really interesting Star Wars ‘verse enemies forced to work together fic.

The Newlywed Game by Sundaethroughfriday - Arranged marriage, slow burn, a bit cracky, but really was enjoying it.

My own fics (I’m on AO3 under CaraRose), for anyone interested

Chained - Kylo Ren has found himself fixated on the girl he captured on Takadona. The girl who had somehow managed to best him on Starkiller. The girl who he now realizes is the one from his dreams, the girl in the veil who he has endlessly chased and never catches. The girl that he now appears to be strangely linked to, able to feel over light years of space. If there is one certainty in his life, it's that this girl will be his, that he will capture her and she will submit to him. Rey survived Kylo Ren and escaped Starkiller, only to find him haunting her. Whispering in her head and finding her in her dreams. Sent to find Luke Skywalker, Rey finds herself training, learning to use her powers, soon realizing that she was being hunted by the monster she defeated but left alive. The monster who's mind now seems linked directly to hers.Chained together by a force bond, the two adversaries begin to understand the potential and dangers of this link between them.

Bonded - Sequel to Chained. Kylo Ren finally has his scavenger, an agreement for her to travel with him for the next year in trade for information he provided the Resistance on the First Order, yet she remains resistant both to him and to being taught by him. With the First Order and Supreme Leader Snoke hunting for them to punish him for his betrayal, he struggles to win Rey's trust, trust he needs if the two of them are going to survive.In a journey that leads them through the edges of the outer rim to the unmapped reaches of the wild space, the two find themselves following old legends as they attempt to find a better understanding of the Force. In taking on this journey, they will find more about themselves, their feelings towards one another, and the connection that binds them.

Pro Forma - This was written using Elithien's gorgeous illustration as my prompt.

Apathetic Synergy - An AU where Rey found herself captured at the end of TFA.

Snare - Oh, this story is so much fun. It’s a flip script of TFA, so you’ll find scenes that are familiar but retold with different situations and different characters. Lots of twists and turns and can be a bit unpredictable. It starts with the premise that the Resistance set up an ambush for Kylo at San Tekka’s village.

#fic recs #reylo fic recs #reyux fic rec #reylux fic rec #fanfic author appreciation day #reylo fic rec

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jesseneufeld · 6 years ago

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The 2018 Primal Gift Guide (and One Awesome Book Deal)

It’s about that time of year. Whatever your inclination or creed, whether you celebrate Christmas or Hanukah or nothing at all, gift giving is a solid, time-honored way to establish and maintain bonds and friendship, show people you care, and make another person happy (and, as you’ll see after today’s post, healthy). Today I’m going to lay out some of my favorite products. These are purchases I’ve made and loved, gifts I’ve received and given. (And I’m throwing in one of the best deals I’ve ever offered that combines new and old favorites on the Primal scene—but you’ll have to scroll to the end.)

Without further ado, here’s the 2018 Primal Gift Guide.

ChiliPad

Full disclosure from the outset—I’m an investor in this, and I only invest in products, services, and companies that I strongly believe in and use myself. This one I’ve used for about two years now, and it’s made a substantial difference in my sleep. ChiliPads are climate-controlled mattress pads with microtubes of water running through them. Heat the water, and the bed gets warm. Cool the water, and the bed cools off. The Single Zone pad can do one temperature at a time. If you or anyone you know has ever fought with their significant other about the temperature, they need the Dual Zone pad. It has two temperature zones, so the bed can be warm on one side, cool on the other.

Primal Kitchen® Gift Kits

We’ve got a few to offer. Got someone who you know wants to take the dive into keto but doesn’t quite know where to start (or who can’t cook a lick)? Grab them one of the Primal Kitchen Keto Starter kits. They’ll get mayo, dressings, avocado oils, and other delicious products to make eating keto easier, tastier, and healthier. If you’ve got a general foodie on your hands, get the Primal Kitchen Gift Kit, which includes a great chef’s knife and an engraved cutting board with some Primal Kitchen staples.

Instant Pot

For the two or three remaining people who don’t yet have one, an Instant Pot countertop electronic pressure cooker is a must-have. Goes great with the Keto Reset Instant Pot Cookbook.

The JOOVV

This is the best light therapy device I’ve used. It provides both near infrared light and red light that enhance healing, improve collagen production, and boost ATP production. I lay my JOOVV lengthwise on the ground against a wall and lie down next to it for 5-10 minutes a day. That’s plenty.

Xterra Inflatable Standup Paddleboard

If you’ve been reading this blog for any length of time, you know how much I love standup paddling. Anyone with access to a large body of water—the ocean, lakes, rivers, canals, reservoirs—should consider getting a paddleboard. Inflatables are the easiest entry point, and the Xterra is probably the best one around.

Meat Boxes

Buy Ranch Direct is offering free shipping on any order with this link. In addition to the great beef, poultry and pork offerings, they have a killer All-Natural Salami Variety Pack.

Vibram KSO Trek

Vibram just re-released their classic KSO Trek, my favorite model of theirs ever. It’s leather, and I actually wear it as a “dress shoe” with suit and tie (not that I recommend showing up to your big interview in a pair—unless it’s with me), jeans, and pretty much anything else. I keep several in rotation, shifting them to “turf shoe” once they lose their newness. I haven’t used better footwear for playing Ultimate Frisbee.

Alitura Santal Black Oil and/or the Instant Radiance Package

If you know a man looking for a good moisturizer, beard oil, or cologne alternative free of artificial fragrances, look no further than Alitura’s Santal Black Oil. It’s great for women, too, but I’ve found that men respond pretty well to it. Another option for anyone who digs a bit of pampering without leaving the house is the Instant Radiance Package, which offers spa-grade facial treatment.

Redmond Real Salt Kosher Salt

Harvested from ancient Utah sea beds, Redmond Real Salt is loaded with trace micronutrients and great flavor (it’s not just “salty”). If you’re shopping for a serious cook, Redmond Real Kosher Salt should be on your list.

Big Rhino Cleaver

This thing can handle a lot. It won’t quite do a beef femur, but I’ve successfully chopped through pork feet, ribs of all kinds, and lamb bones. Poultry parts part like butter. What’s great is that in addition to the bone-splitting power of the main blade, the upper curve is surprisingly sharp and agile for making smaller, more detailed cuts.

Sous Vide

I’m going to recommend two sous vide products. If you’re shopping for a serious cook who wants permanent sous vide residency on the counter, Dr. Eades’ Sous Vide Supreme is a good purchase. If you’re shopping for someone who just wants to try the sous vide method in several different settings, get the JOULE—an immersion sous vide device that turns any container of water into a sous vide.

AmazonBasics 15″ Cast Iron Skillet

Stumbled across these recently and didn’t even realize Amazon was making cast iron skillets, so I took the plunge. The quality is pretty good. Takes seasoning, gives a good sear. I’ve got mine up to the point where I can scramble eggs without them sticking. I credit lots of bacon and roasted chickens. If 15 inches is too big, they have smaller ones.

Chest Freezer

You can go one of two ways with the chest freezer, both relevant to Primal eaters. Your giftee can use the freezer as a freezer, as a way to stock up on meat or even buy a quarter cow. Your giftee could go the way of Brad Kearns, who keeps a chest freezer full of cold water and hops in it for a few minutes every single morning (***after unplugging the unit). What would I do? Buy the freezer and pass along the article where Brad lays out his use of the chest freezer as a cold plunge tank so whomever receives it can decide.

Eat What You Love: Everyday Comfort Food

This book isn’t out til December 4th, but it’ll definitely arrive in time for the holidays. It’s a great cookbook for people who want to eat the comfort food we all (let’s face it) miss and stay gluten-free, Primal, and dairy-free.

The Whole30 Slow Cooker

No, it’s not a crockpot that instantly turns off whenever a Whole30® non-compliant food is added. It’s a cookbook for Whole30 people who don’t have the time or inclination to slave over a hot stove or pot. For people who want the convenience of tossing a bunch of healthy ingredients into a pot in the morning and coming home to a delicious home-cooked meal.

The Keto Reset Set of Books

What can I say? It’s the ultimate set of resources for understanding the logic of keto and for implementing keto as the healthy, nourishing and delicious diet it can be. Get step by step instructions for making the full transition in The Keto Reset, and enjoy hundreds of amazing recipes you can easily make in your own home kitchen in The Keto Reset Diet Instant Pot Cookbook and the The Keto Reset Diet Cookbook. They will literally change your life.

And Now For the Deal…

The award-winning Primal Connection was my favorite book to write, and it remains the top resource for extending the Primal Blueprint beyond the realm of physical health to encompass everyday peace, prosperity and fulfillment.

It also happens to make a pretty awesome gift…for anyone looking to deepen their Primal commitment or for someone who’s totally new to Primal. (I’ve had a lot of folks tell me over the years that The Primal Connection was their entry point to Primal living.)

To celebrate the gift-giving season—and to highlight the New Primal Kitchen® sauce line, I’m offering one of the best deals I’ve ever put together here.

Buy Classic and Golden BBQ Sauce + Steak Sauce, and I’ll throw in a Classic Primal Kitchen Mayo…plus a copy of The Primal Connection. But hurry—this deal expires 12/7/18 at midnight PST.

Click through HERE or use code GETSAUCY at checkout on PrimalBlueprint.com.

For those of you unfamiliar with The Primal Connection, here’s a bit about it. Head on over to PrimalBlueprint.com to read an excerpt, too.

Honking horns, loud office chatter and whirring machines batter our ears with incessant noise. Artificial light and digital stimulation overstress our nervous systems day and night. Traffic jams, long lines, interruptions, distractions and big egos pervade daily life in such a manner that we don’t even realize the piece—or rather the peace—that’s gone missing. Mark Sisson, the leading voice in the Evolutionary Health Movement and author of the bestseller The Primal Blueprint, extends the primal theme beyond diet and exercise basics in this much-anticipated sequel. The Primal Connection: Follow Your Genetic Blueprint to Health and Happiness presents a comprehensive plan to reprogram your genes and overcome the flawed mentality and hectic pace of high-tech, modern life so that you can become more joyful, carefree and at peace with the present. You’ll learn to make scientifically validated, highly intuitive connections in all aspects of your life, and emerge with a renewed appreciation for the simple pleasures of life and our most precious gifts of time, health and love. The Primal Connection allows you to have it all; you’ll honor your ancient genetic recipe for health while still enjoying the comfort and convenience of modern life.*

Now let’s hear from you. Write in down below with the health and fitness-related gifts you’ll be giving and receiving. I’m always interested in something new.

Thanks for reading, everyone. Take care.

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milenasanchezmk · 6 years ago

Text

The 2018 Primal Gift Guide (and One Awesome Book Deal)

Without further ado, here’s the 2018 Primal Gift Guide.

ChiliPad

Primal Kitchen® Gift Kits

Instant Pot

For the two or three remaining people who don’t yet have one, an Instant Pot countertop electronic pressure cooker is a must-have. Goes great with the Keto Reset Instant Pot Cookbook.

The JOOVV

Xterra Inflatable Standup Paddleboard

Vibram KSO Trek

Alitura Santal Black Oil and/or the Instant Radiance Package

Redmond Real Salt Kosher Salt

Big Rhino Cleaver

Sous Vide

AmazonBasics 15″ Cast Iron Skillet

Chest Freezer

Eat What You Love: Everyday Comfort Food

The Whole30 Slow Cooker

The Keto Reset Set of Books

And Now For the Deal…

To celebrate the gift-giving season—and to highlight the New Primal Kitchen® sauce line, I’m offering one of the best deals I’ve ever put together here.

Buy Classic and Golden BBQ Sauce + Steak Sauce, and I’ll throw in a Classic Primal Kitchen Mayo…plus a copy of The Primal Connection. But hurry—this deal expires 12/7/18 at midnight PST.

Click through HERE or use code GETSAUCY at checkout on PrimalBlueprint.com.

For those of you unfamiliar with The Primal Connection, here’s a bit about it. Head on over to PrimalBlueprint.com to read an excerpt, too.

Now let’s hear from you. Write in down below with the health and fitness-related gifts you’ll be giving and receiving. I’m always interested in something new.

Thanks for reading, everyone. Take care.

The post The 2018 Primal Gift Guide (and One Awesome Book Deal) appeared first on Mark's Daily Apple.

0 notes

fishermariawo · 6 years ago

Text

The 2018 Primal Gift Guide (and One Awesome Book Deal)

Without further ado, here’s the 2018 Primal Gift Guide.

ChiliPad

Primal Kitchen® Gift Kits

Instant Pot

For the two or three remaining people who don’t yet have one, an Instant Pot countertop electronic pressure cooker is a must-have. Goes great with the Keto Reset Instant Pot Cookbook.

The JOOVV

Xterra Inflatable Standup Paddleboard

Vibram KSO Trek

Alitura Santal Black Oil and/or the Instant Radiance Package

Redmond Real Salt Kosher Salt

Big Rhino Cleaver

Sous Vide

AmazonBasics 15″ Cast Iron Skillet

Chest Freezer

Eat What You Love: Everyday Comfort Food

The Whole30 Slow Cooker

The Keto Reset Set of Books

And Now For the Deal…

To celebrate the gift-giving season—and to highlight the New Primal Kitchen® sauce line, I’m offering one of the best deals I’ve ever put together here.

Buy Classic and Golden BBQ Sauce + Steak Sauce, and I’ll throw in a Classic Primal Kitchen Mayo…plus a copy of The Primal Connection. But hurry—this deal expires 12/7/18 at midnight PST.

Click through HERE or use code GETSAUCY at checkout on PrimalBlueprint.com.

For those of you unfamiliar with The Primal Connection, here’s a bit about it. Head on over to PrimalBlueprint.com to read an excerpt, too.

Now let’s hear from you. Write in down below with the health and fitness-related gifts you’ll be giving and receiving. I’m always interested in something new.

Thanks for reading, everyone. Take care.

The post The 2018 Primal Gift Guide (and One Awesome Book Deal) appeared first on Mark's Daily Apple.

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writeforyourlife · 8 years ago

Text

An Address to Trans Kids from A Politician

(this is absolutely for real and not satire at all. Don't get it twisted)

Hello. My name is Mr. Don'tWorryAboutIt and back there helping me with this address is my assistant, Sharon. As you can see from my Windsor knot tie and patriotic pin as well as surname, I am a politician. A politician is someone who holds power in some part of the government and helps create policies for everyone to follow. Basically, I make and present the rules that every citizen must adhere to and abide by. Some of your parents might have elected me. Well, not YOUR parents, but someone's parents. Mine did. Anyway.

I am here today to “rap” with you kids about why we, the people who make the rules, don't want you to use the same bathrooms as everyone else. Look, it's very simple. We are afraid of perverts. We are worried that perverts are going to dress up in costume – well, I mean, for you the way you dress and try to present yourself is your fight for self expression every day, but to me and my colleagues, it just looks like Halloween or something – and we are concerned that these veiled perverts are going to get in those bathrooms and start peeping on or assaulting other people in the bathrooms. Cisgender students (am I using that term right, Sharon? I am? Okay great) are at risk. You would be at risk, too, I mean do you want a dude in a dress trying to look at your pre-op or post-op private bits? Yeah that wouldn't be cool. I mean that hasn't really happened that much yet and I can see, okay, how someone could argue that if a pervert was going to put on a dress and go into a women's bathroom, he would do it regardless of whether you were allowed in there or not. Oh, and, I'm not saying that you guys are perverts for being dudes that wear dresses, just people that LOOK like you... uh... (Sharon I need my next talking point. Awesome thanks).

So right sexual assault. It's bad. And it happens a lot. Mainly to girls. Mostly. We need to protect our girls, they are very valuable and breakable. And I mean, men are gonna be predators no matter what and we can't stop that. But we can try to catch them and I think barring you from using the facilities for human necessity is a good way to vet out these bad guys. Of course, you know, I can see how punishing you for some potential crime committed by someone who isn't you is a, uh, might be a violation of... your civil rights... (What's that Sharon? Shut up no way-).

Alright, I have just been informed that GIRLS want to go into the MEN'S bathroom as well. This is, this is a real shocker to me because men's bathrooms are disgusting. Also, basically the lamb would be walking right into the lion's den for sexual assault if girls went into men's bathrooms – (what- they're not “girls” whaddaya mean? They are transitioning into their desired or destined gender? Transgender boy. I-). OKAY what the hell? Ladies, if you become dudes, how are we supposed to tell who we can have sex with? Who said you could just change your gender and become a boy? If you were born a girl, then I say you're a girl and you must use the girl's bathroom okay. You don't get to decide who you are, I DO. UM (their doctor? Oh God, Sharon, ya know-). Neither you or your doctor or your family get to decide who you are, I DO. BECAUSE I MAKE THE RULES. YOUR PARENTS VOTED FOR ME. OKAY NOT YOUR PARENTS BUT SOMEONE'S PARENTS. MINE DID.

I'm sorry I yelled at you. I just... I am very frustrated right now. I don't know if you know how this feels, but when people try to tell you that you can't make your own decisions it is very frustrating haha. Alright let's just, let's talk about something else. Oh right (thanks Sharon) let's talk about the special bathrooms that have been built just for you. Now, come on guys- or girls- or whatever shit sorry- let's admit that everyone wants to feel special. Especially when you're a kid; the thing you want most is to stand out and be noticed! I mean, you want to fit in and be accepted for normal things, like for your basic human needs, but you want to be noticed for what makes you unique. You transgender kids are special and we want to highlight that by giving you your own bathroom. I think having you stick out for doing some normal human bodily function is good. It shows you're different from the other kids to the other kids and that must be good. (Bullied? Kids are still getting bullied? But I wore a pink shirt to my meeting the other day, Sharon, I thought you said that would stop it. You're saying it didn't stop it. It was just a way of showing solidarity. I am very confused).

So, you guys-KIDS, you kids, Sharon is telling me that transgender kids get bullied a lot. I did not know that I am so sorry. Bullying is wrong and bad and I don't want that to happen to you. I can't stop bullies, they are just, like, they are out there always I don't even know what to do about them. However, I do have a tip, it is really very simple: to avoid getting bullied, just try to fit in as much as you can. I mean, you can and should stand up for yourself, like when you have a positive message or creative project or something, but for regular, simple human stuff like socializing with your friends or eating or drinking or going to the wash... room... um, you should be able to fit in. Ummmm.

Look, I'm just sorry you're being harassed for not being able to fit in. I wish there was something I could do for you but haha it's out of my hands what goes on at your school (what did you just say Sharon? I can? What could I do? Be their voids I don't think- oh their voice. How could I do that? I'm a what? A politician. I make the rules. I could make a rule that helps these kids fit in and help them to not get hurt or harassed. Look I don't know about that; some people somewhere voted for me and they wanted me to stop perverts and things are not lining up and I don't know what to do. Well, if you're soooo smart, Sharon, why don't you run for office and then you can make this address- you tried that. You tried, but I beat you and called you mean and unladylike and a pest? Okay well we'll just see what the kids have to say about this).

ALRIGHT, honestly, hands up, who here would rather have Sharon, this banshee who won't shut up, representing you and fighting for your rights, over me? … Oh shit. That's a lot of people. Haha. Okay, um, I'm just going to go sit down and think about this – (what is it NOW, Sharon? The address isn't over? Well how the hell do I get out of it? Alright fine). Okay, I need to get out of here because this went in a total different direction than I thought it was going to. I did not expect you to have this many... opinions and feelings, this was an eye opener. If it's really that important to you that you be able to use the facilities at school like all your peers then okay whatever I understand why you feel that way. I don't know why everyone is ganging up on me. But look alright I'm going to be cooperative and just take a question from a transgender kid so we can all be finished here. Okay uh you, go ahead.

…

Can you go to the bathroom? Well I don't know if you can but you may. Just don't forget to wash your hands.

#ProtectTransKids #Transgender #TransgenderRights #AntiBullying #Feminism #AnAddressToTransKidsFromAPolitician

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