#i like happy endings bc i will get legitimately upset over sad ones

[descimatedcroakernightmares]

i don’t understand why you can’t watch saltburn cuz no one reacts well to that shit

i already have very bad anxiety and dark media makes it significantly worse

[olivieraa]

y'know, I'll never not be upset about Orange is the new black and Lost

ive been saying it since forever what my top 5 shows are, but Ive only ever had a top 4 shows and then I get a bit... like I say the 5th one and have to explain that that one can be pushed out if I ever find somethng else

so like, sex and the city is in there bc, and I know I shouldnt have been, but it came out in the 90s and I watched it in the 90s, when I was way too young. then I rewatched it as a teen, rewatched it many times in my 20s, last rewatch was proooooooobably 2020. I'm due another rewatch. I legitimately never get tired of it

next fave is Avatar. its perfection. I've rewatched it almost as mutch as sex and the city

next is stranger things, started that... a few months after season 1 aired. I thought it was perfection as well.

and then we have Barry, my number one show of all. watched that not long after it was released. its extremely unknown over here, but when people do watch it they're amazed.

but the 5th spot, when asked, I always say "well it was Lost but eh..." or "I mean I'm not opposed to saying its Orange is the new black..."

I consider my top 4 to be flawless. yes I have my critiques of them for sure but they're just... they make me very happy.

I have... too much to say about Lost and OITNB. I mean Lost ended terribly, that's universally known. the finale came out at the same time around the world (5am for me), and the next day in school it was a huge topic and most of us agreed that, yeah............ that couldve gone better

I never rewatched Lost since. but I do remember, when becoming a feminist, I saw Lost in a post on here talking about how, they're trapped on this island for months, and yet, the women had shaved pits and legs (and more obviously) which made no sense and it went to show that, the men could look any way they wanted, and people could be killed, and animals killed and babies kidnapped but GOD FORBID a hot woman look "unnattractive" with some hair under her arms

I also remember thinking she was the prettiest woman in the world bc she was so naturally pretty, no makeup!! psh.

so yeah it kinda turned me off the show, never going back to really see if there were any other flaws. the above and the ending alone were kind of... enough.

and then with OITNB, another terrible ending. but what made me so sad was that, the show had a shift moment. either season 4 or season 5. it felt like new writers took over.

half the cast wasnt in it any more and the show became depressing. a depressing lesbian show.

and oitnb was KNOWN as the mainstream lesbian show. it had so much popularity and everyone watched it and it won loads of awards. but no, I was not surprised when people stopped talking about it and it wasnt nominated for awards anymore. it really and truly went off track.

I would love to have had OITNB as my fifth fave shows, cause my shows are all feminist. but I think OITNB just didn't know what it was doing in the latter half and it makes me sad

[omegapheromone]

Coming here to vent about dating, romance/love, and a bit of misce/omegaverse stuff bc I don't feel like putting any of this on main

I'm having a lot of thoughts about like... dating, especially w being queer and dating, at this age and how impossible it is (dating apps are something that legitimately scares me so I'm like. No way will I ever use those)

But also wondering if maybe I'm just not cut out for it. I've been managing it alone for a good few years now after a really toxic relationship with who was, essentially, a predator, ended, and while it's not a bad thing to be alone, I guess the sad part is seeing all my peers enjoy happy long-term relationships where they have the unconditional support and affection of someone at all times

I guess what I'm trying to explain is, I feel really starved for romance and affection and honestly? Over anything else? Just someone I can TRUST. Feel safe around. And so on. Like... having a person represent a "home", considering I never feel at home anywhere.

Of course, there's also the omegaverse/misce stuff. It's secondary to me and not a necessary consideration for a romantic relationship, but I also just worry it'll be seen as a weird kink or something. Just one more thing in the pile of things that make me "too much to deal with" for most, I suppose. In an ideal world I'd meet someone who already knows of it and potentially identifies as alpha, too (though it's not like I'm picky lmao) but ultimately that doesn't mattet.

And perhaps it's my own stubbornness about refusing to use stuff like dating apps. Then again, I don't even know which ones the queer folk where I live use, AND I don't want to have to deal with the fear of opening up once again only to witness the other person struggle with the realization of how much trauma I have and how much of it I'm STILL only unpacking, and getting scared and just leaving because they don't want to deal with a broken thing. I'm not asking anyone to fix me, actually I'd rather do it myself anyway, but it's a bit disheartening to see how overwhelming even just a fraction of my issues can be to some people. This is not a bad thing- people have different tolerances for things and that includes hardship. Having to hear about some of the things I've been through and seeing the damage I'm still trying to mend could be extremely distressing and upsetting to some people solely because they're empathizing with it, and I don't want my pain to hurt anyone else

Again, it's all fine, I'm just rambling here obviously. Need to let these 4am thoughts out somewhere so I can maybe put it into better words and then later talk about it with the irl people that might care.

It just gets a bit lonely and especially, hopeless, I guess. Maybe life will always happen around me while I stay stagnant?

Also I'm falling asleep while typing

[blossom-hwa]

college model!juyeon

SO the people have spoken (aka 3 people but it’s more than 0 so I DON’T CARE) and without further ado HERE WE GO IT’S A COLLEGE MODEL JUYEON BLURB. please reblog if you enjoyed and check out my other dumb overly long blurbs in the stream of idiocy tag on my blog <3

pairing: juyeon x gender neutral!reader

wc: 2.4k

genre: fluff, a bit of angst when mc is stressed, university!au

triggers: cursing, like the tiniest bit of suggestive stuff but absolutely nothing explicit (it’s really just saying juyeon is hot which wbk)

fashion major!kevin

TBZ Scenarios Masterlist | TBZ Drabbles Masterlist

so juyeon isn’t actual a professional model-model like he just happens to be v tall and v handsome and therefore catches the eye of every single fucking fashion major (and other people too) on campus but i’m focusing on the fashion majors because he is LITERALLY model material. have you seen those fucking arms and that fucking face ANYWAY MOVING ON juyeon is an absolute sweetheart behind those stupid muscles and anyone who works with him swears it is impossible like legitimately impossible not to fall in love with his dumb little smile but the thing is juyeon only really agrees to model for fashion major kevin usually like sometimes kevin will pull in a favor and ask him to model for someone else who can’t find anyone (bc let’s be real kevin’s got a lot of friends he could definitely rope someone into modeling for him /cough the other 2/3 of bermuda line cough/ but more often than not kevin takes juyeon not bc juyeon is like the best model or whatever (he’s good obv but some people probably have more experience) but bc juyeon is the only one who will willingly wear some of kevin’s more questionable choices

and the fucking thing is. he still looks good in them. he walks down the runway in this weird ass shirt and pants or whatever the hell kevin’s cooked up for this assignment and people are like.... IT’S SO WEIRD BUT WHY IS JUYEON PULLING IT OFF

so YEAH juyeon is happily modeling his way through college while doing a dance major (one time kevin did his makeup to purposely make him look slightly sweaty and the crowd went fucking insane) and he’s got a lot of things going for him, looks, talent, hard work, etc. and he’s v good at dancing, one of the top in his year so in exchange for his modeling work kevin goes to his dance recitals/competitions to cheer him on and that’s actually how juyeon meets you

you’re feeling shitty bc you just broke up with your partner for whatever reason, let’s just say it was not an amicable breakup and you were about to hole yourself up in 1. the dorm or 2. the lab and just drown yourself in work to forget everything but kevin is one of your good friends and he rolls up and is like. nah. fuck no i’m taking you out we are going to get lunch and then we are going to go see my model friend at one of his dance recitals i promise you it will be FUN and??? you can’t exactly refuse because it’s kevin and he’s not wrong you actually do need to go outside and get some fresh air bc the only time you have left a building over the past week or so is to 1. go to class/the lab from your dorm or 2. to go to your dorm from class/the lab (you are a science major here bc i am a science major and i am heavily projecting ok don’t come at me. though i will say you do theoretical physics which i DO NOT DO but i think it’s cool if mind-blowing so again. projection. despite the fact that i will not touch quantum mechanics after today with a ten foot pole)

so kevin forces you outside and the day is going ok like it’s nice out and he pays for the food and the dance recital is amazing and juyeon has this mf solo that’s absolutely gorgeous and you’re like hitting kevin in the shoulder like omg dude how did you score a friend this talented and he’s like??? what the fuck do you mean by that are you saying i’m not talented and you’re like. well. and then he threatens to deck you but it’s all in good fun anyway MOVING ON when the recital is over kevin drags you over to meet juyeon bc he’s like! it is unacceptable that two of my good friends do not know each other and juyeon if you’re not doing anything you should come with us to dinner! and juyeon is like well i was going to go out with the dance team but you two could come with us and he’s all smiley and soft and you half want to praise the heavens and half want to go to hell bc he looks so sweet and happy and lovely and it’s an honor to be in his presence but at the same time you haven’t left a building for like a week and you’re pretty sure you still have eyebags that haven’t disappeared (jokes on you they’ll never disappear this is university) but kevin says yes for both of you and so you end up with dinner plans too

and it’s fun! everyone is really nice and even though you know nothing about dance you and juyeon end up having v cool conversation about each other’s interests and all that and you’re so immersed in talking with him that you don’t see kevin giving you side-eyes next to you every five fucking minutes (he’s like well. i didn’t see this coming but i’m not going to complain) and by the end of the night you have juyeon’s number in your phone and you’ve made plans to get coffee before class the next day (you don’t have the same class but they’re in adjacent buildings and at the same time so why not) and you go back to your dorm feeling happier than you’ve felt all week

it continues like this?? like it’s actually v weird bc even when you two don’t have plans to meet up juyeon just magically appears around where you’re supposed to be and when you remark on this at one point juyeon just kinda blushes and diverts the topic which makes you suspicious a little but he’s really sweet and has no stalker-ish vibes and you also double-check with kevin who just fucking starts laughing over the phone until you hang up bc he clearly doesn’t have the brain cells to talk to you anywho this is model juyeon and i haven’t talked about that much but HERE WE GO 

kevin has a fashion show assignment coming up and juyeon doesn’t have much time to hang out anymore between fittings with kevin + his own major so you end up carting your ass to the fitting sessions after kevin invites you once to see what’s going on and juyeon actually gets scared by all the numbers n shit on your papers bc like what the fuck y/n are you a computer and you just whap him over the head with your stack of homework and say no shut the fuck up and model pretty boy (you don’t see but juyeon blushes bc you called him pretty. kevin saw though and he’s not impressed) but you end up not focusing on your homework bc kevin has juyeon put on and take off clothes at multiple points during the session and ofc if it’s pants or whatever juyeon goes into a different room but if it’s just a shirt.... let’s just say you get a free show and at some point you’re just like yeah i have to go and kevin’s like?? there’s still an hour left and you say something like i can’t focus here the vibes are off and KEVIN KNOWS WHAT’S UP but juyeon is adorably oblivious so he’s just like! ok! see you later y/n i hope you get your homework done :) and he’s so smiley and cute and you just want to melt and cry bc he’s shirtless which is hot asf but he’s also smiling like that which is cute asf and you’re getting whiplash

(you still end up joining the sessions every so often. you bring homework to try and get it done but your time is either spent critiquing kevin’s fashion choices or staring subtly (not) at juyeon)

then a not good week rolls around and it’s just been absolutely shitty between crap professors and too much homework and your lab is working on submitting a paper soon and you’re stressed to the max and to top things off you saw your ex earlier and they tried to talk to you and you really didn’t want to have it so you’re in the lab crying over your computer while you try to proofread the stupid paper and your phone is off bc you don’t want to talk to anyone but then the door bursts open and you nearly have a heart attack and there juyeon stands in clothes that definitely aren’t his own (they’re too sleek and fancy to be normal clothes at least) and his eyes are kinda wild before they locate you in the corner of the room, shell-shocked and confused and also still crying a little bit out of stress 

and oh god juyeon’s eyes just soften totally and he walks over and before you know it you’re being pulled into a juyeon hug which is quite possibly one of the best hugs you have felt in a very long time and you’re doing your best not to break down right then and there bc his clothes feel hella expensive and he’s asking you what’s wrong and you can’t speak bc if you do you’ll cry on his model clothing and you finally manage to say that and there’s a beat of silence and then juyeon just goes well would it help if i took the shirt off 

AND THAT JUST SETS YOU OFF AND NOW YOU’RE CRYING AND LAUGHING AT THE SAME TIME AND JUYEON IS HALF SMILING HALF UPSET THAT YOU’RE STILL SAD BUT LIKE IT’S FINE IT’S TOTALLY FINE AND somehow you manage not to ruin kevin’s latest fashion creation (which makes juyeon look unfairly handsome even through your puffy eyes) and juyeon closes your laptop and takes you out to the convenience store (still dressed in his modeling outfit jfc) and over shitty ramen and alcohol (or water/juice/whatever if you don’t drink) you tell him about your crap week and juyeon commiserates and listens

at some point you ask him why he’s still wearing kevin’s clothes like?? surely you weren’t running around in them all day and juyeon just looks down and mumbles something and you’re like speak louder dude i can’t hear you and apparently he was in the middle of a session w kevin and kevin looked super stressed and worried and juyeon asked what was up and he told him about how you weren’t responding to anything and juyeon just. booked it the fuck out of there to find you and well now here you both are

and that. that just touches the FUCK out of you and wow you’re crying again bc of that and out of guilt for not talking to kevin or anyone and juyeon’s freaking out like oh my god please stop crying did i say something wrong and you’re just wiping your tears away with a napkin like no you doofus i’m sorry i made you worried it was just that shitty week and??? why did you sprint out of there IN KEVIN’S MODEL CLOTHES you gotta give those back??? and it looks like silk you know that’s going to be a bitch to clean

juyeon just pouts then and mumbles something under his breath and is like. it’s not more important than you.

which makes you reel bc that sounded a lot more like a confession than you’re really ready to process and juyeon seems to realize that at the same time and now you two are both just wide-eyed staring at each other and juyeon’s ears are going red and you’re still in shock and at some point you’re like... juyeon you stupid bastard say that again and he DOES and okay maybe you’re not dating by the end of the night but you sure are two weeks later when you ask him whether or not this is now a date and if he’s your boyfriend and juyeon spills coffee all over himself

(he mumbles yes as you’re wiping the coffee off his front though so it’s fine)

(it does not help that the coffee has now made the outline of his stomach visible)

anyway in general it’s a v cute and v sweet relationship :D juyeon is head over heels for you and you’re head over heels for him too and you’re not like the over the top sweet and gross couple you two like to keep it a little low-key but ofc that doesn’t stop kevin from banning you from fitting sessions w juyeon out of fear that you’ll like make out while juyeon’s wearing the modeling clothes but that’s just kevin being a little shit so it’s fine

juyeon manages to bring that silk shirt back to kevin in one clean piece

you manage not to die every time you go to one of juyeon’s dance recitals (even when he puts in a fake eyebrow piercing and you almost have a heart attack)

juyeon often likes to come into the lab for nothing other than to watch you work bc according to him its fascinating to watch you manipulate numbers and actually the lab is a v nice and quiet place to get things done when it’s mostly empty so you have a few study dates there

you go to juyeon’s dance practices sometimes when you have nothing better to do and get excited over showing him the physics of some of the dance moves and juyeon understands almost none of it but he’s beaming bc you’re so excited and animated while talking about it and the first time this happens is when you two have your first kiss. you ask juyeon if he was kissing you to shut you up and he says no i just thought you looked so happy that i had to kiss you

juyeon is a gentleman and you are like the sarcastic best friend turned lover but it really works out and yea there are a lot of people jealous that you managed to wrap juyeon around your finger but you’re also wrapped around his it’s v much a partnership where both of you rely on each other and yeah. it’s sweet. it’s lovely. juyeon hot but more important juyeon best boyfriend ever <3

and that’s how it goes.

If you enjoyed, please don’t forget to reblog and leave a comment to tell me what you thought! Thank you for reading and have a lovely day <3

(1 reblog = 1 prayer for kevin’s clothes let’s all pray that no tears stain his silk)

[straykidsftw]

SKZ Reaction: You Being Insecure About Your Height

genre: fluff

requested?: yes (anon)

summary: in which you’re taller than your boyfriend

______________________

Chan

the sweetest bub

he’d like ,, lightly tease you ?? but it’s mostly teasing himself

like you’d just stand next to him and he’d be like ‘wow, i really am fun sized’ but if you get hurt at all by any of his comments he’s just like

“!!!!! no i’m a fucking midget !!! and you!! goddess!!!!!”

and if it ever seriously effects you he’s just so confused because ?? you seriously are a goddess in his eyes ?? and you think there’s something wrONG WITH YOURSELF??????

Minho

as we all know now , minho will love you unconditionally but without really showing it

but if you were being really upset and really insecure over how much taller you were then him,,

he wouldn’t like ... dismiss it ??? but he’d kinda shrug and be like “how’s that something to be insecure about”

i mean if you’re like proper proper insecure he’ll of course cuddle you and whisper little happy words in ur ear :)

but if it’s kinda minor he’s like “get those high heels on, we’re going out”

Changbin

i see changbin as someone who’d try to take your mind off of it

like he’d take you shopping or he’d take you to see a movie until you eventually forget about it

because for changbin, it’s not ur fault, if anything it’s his fault for being so small >:(

so changbin is just so sad if he finds out ur insecure

and if the distracting technique doesnt work then cuDDLES IN BED ALL DAY WILL

Hyunjin

hyunjin’s just so sad/angry >:(

bc tbh, for him, you being insecure means he hasn’t done his job as boyfriend right

bc he said that if he becomes ur boyfriend you’ll never be sad!!! and here you are !!! being sad!! D: !!!

so yeah he’s not happy

lots of snacks and cuddles and he just talks a lot through it

like just talking, getting it all out

he honestly doesnt really care about ur height so you shouldnt either !!

Jisung

you came to him and you were like ‘tbh ji, i didnt tell you this for a long time but i really fucking hate my height and i just wish i could even be the same height as you jesus christ just why do i have to be tall’

and jisung was like ‘b-b-b-but ur my baby’

and yeah he’s not vibing with this insecurity thing

so he goes and he makes you dress up in ur clothes and have a little fashion show and the whole time he’s just like “yes!!!! look at you go!!!!!!!!!! tiny bitches could never !!!!!!!!!”

basically ji is ur hypeman 24/7

Felix

would fucking love to see you wearing heels but like ,, one day you just stopped wearing them

and jisung was like “trainers ? b-but—“

but alas you were already out the house

and then when you came back lix would be waiting angrily to be like ‘hello ? where are you supper fantastic amazing high heels that make your legs look fUCKING BRILLIANT?!?!??!??’

and ur like ‘i’m not wearing high heels anymore, lix, i’m too for them’

and lix is like ‘like hell you are’

and he makes you talk to him

just rant, get it all out

and if you end up crying? cuddles, you know

Seungmin

seungmin would be similar to minho

where he’s kinda like ‘oh shut up ur not too tall’

like ur his model ?? ur his baby ??? ur his beautiful beautiful best friend ????? why would ever think there was something wrong with you ?? he’s legitimately confused

but if you’re really upset then of course he’ll whisper little sweet things in your ear and he’ll give you little kisses :)

Jeongin

>:(

that’s jeongin’s mood

he just always wants you to feel beautiful !!

and when you don’t he’s like ‘what did i say?’

and you have to be like ‘i’m beautiful’

and jeongin’s like ‘yaa!!!’

but when he realises that it goes deeper than that i believe he’ll actually be really mature and sit down and really talk to you about it until you feel good :)

[matamisin]

Consider: Mina is a genuinely happy and positive person, but everyone has bad days (especially people who have been thru trauma, like seeing your loved ones regularly beaten to a bloody pulp). The thing is that Mina just. Refuses to show that trauma has actually been effecting her. She starts suppressing negative reactions to situations bc she wants to "stay strong." Beginning of the year? She cried when they got rescued from USJ. End of the year? "Lmao guess we survived another one! Ha! Ha! :)"

oh my god like millennial humor?? if yeah then lmao mina please

if not ahhh Mina baby you have feelings too that you gotta tend to!\

Alright- All (or at least all the angst headcanons I received) are answered below the cut! Please be careful, there are some, well angsty things in there!

TW: Eating Disorder, Gore/ Graphic Depictions, Homophobia, Depression, Suicidal Tendencies/ Self harm mention, Death, Possible spoilers to those not caught up with the BNHA manga- Please ask to tag if I missed any!

(looking at all these warnings made me realize omfg YALL DID NOT HOLD BACK IM CRYING ASK AND THOU SHALT RECEIVETH I SUPPOSE)

a-single-eyelash asked:

Denki accidentally hurt someone as a kid, say a sibling or good friend, with his quirk. It made him hate his work, until he saw a hero with a similar work to his. This is what made him think that not only is his quirk cool, but also that he can become a hero. Well until, he hurt Sero. His boyfriend, got electrocuted by him on the battlefield. (Sorry this is an idea I’ve had for a fic)

O H

BRUH THAT HIT ME LIKE A TRAIN COMING OUT FROM BEHIND THE BUSHES I THOUHGT THERE WAS GONNA BE A HAPPY ENDING THIS IS STILL GOOD THO 

anonymous asked:

Bakugou is still sad, Sero is suicidal (Read to may fics about it man), Kami is legitimately afraid he’ll disappoint his parents, Tsu feels to normal, Kiri feeeeeelsss way to useless, and idk maybe Aoyama feels ignored. My own angsty headcanons.

Ah, yeah I can see how those can play into those characters!

anonymous asked:

Sero’s fight or flight response with a villains ice-like quirk (if your for that headcanon) OR Sero overwhelming his quirk trying to rescue a goddamn building of people

OH YA I AM FOR THAT

Also NO STOP HAVE I GOT SOMETHING IN STORE ABOUT COLLAPSING BUILIDINGS

anonymous asked:

Ashido + Bakugou bond over their quirks being destructive and not really knowing how to use them to actually *help* people

oh wow, I’ve never actually seen it that way.

But how about this: while they vent to each other about how their quirks can’t help people, the other is like, full on giving them descriptions of how their quirks actually CAN but they just never realized and they’re opening each other’s eyes while having their own insecurities knocked down

anonymous asked:

Omg your angst au is so angsty it’s beautiful

AH thank you haha!

anonymous asked:

Angsty headcannon boi-  Sero was bullied in middle school for having wonky teeth and actually had braces. Which is why he has such a pearly white smile now.  Sero was the last in his class to get his quirk and when he did he was laughed at because it was a ‘useless quirk’

n O ANON IM SOB

IM CRYING LEAVE HIM ALONE ILL SQUARE UP WITH THOSE BULLIES

anonymous asked:

Angst head cannon.  Sero flinches whenever kirishima hardens.  Sero’s parents are majorly homophobic and are actually quite strict. So whenever sero isn’t with bakusquad he tries to revise but it doesn’t work and he’s scared to ask for help.

Aw, man that’s heart wrenching to have parents so unsupportive- I feel it :( He’s just in a constant worry state whenever they’re around

anonymous asked:

If you’re still accepting the angst hcs… i think kaminari gets like really overcharged whenever there’s a storm and since they moved to the dorms there’s nowhere for him to release all the excess energy. So he just kinda hides away in his room in pain.

Aw, that’s terrible!

I dunno.. I feel like that one day when someone finds out during a storm, they’ll like, ask the teachers about “where someone could discharge a lot of energy askingforafriend” and they immediately know who they’re talking about and they’ll ask Powerloader and Mei and others in their department to build something for him to discharge all the excess AND be able to utilize it somehow :0 just a thought!

anonymous asked:

My headcannons: Sero is anorexic Bakugou has PTSD Kaminari has depression Kirishima had self-esteem issues Ashido is perfect (canon)

Oh that last part- she is, she is *clap**clap*

Though.. I will say that just because the others are haunted by those- it doesn’t make them less perfect. It’s their struggles that they learn to cope with and grow from, and it makes them, well, them. Not a definition of perfect can define that :’)

(sorry just speaking from my thoughts cause these hit close to home ahhh)

anonymous asked:

Lmao i sent a lot sorry if their not the best but hopefully some heart strings will be pulled

NONSENSE ANON ALL MY HEART STRINGS WERE PLUCKED BY ALL THESE AND NOW ITS YALLS TURN

transcandydemon asked:

Todocanon; todoroki has constant nightmares of the boiling water incident and of his father hurting him or his mom which causes him to not get as much sleep ie his calm attitude and how he’s not quick to get into conversations because of exhaustion

oh ya, such a traumatic past is def something that could still be haunting him in his dreams :’( but when the others notice, they’ll make sure to check up on him and try to find ways to help reduce nightmares or at least comfort him whenever they’re in his dreams

anonymous asked:

Deku head canon : deku is super jealous of kirishimas and bakugoa relationship since hes been trying to get close to kacchan for years and kirishima managed to do it within days

D’: He probably would feel that- jealousy’s very strong! But ah, in my personal opinion, i think he’d feel that, but after time learns that maybe it was best that he stopped dwelling on it and moves on, and learns to accept and be happy that he and Bakugou could at least be acquaintances that could eventually work well :’)

anonymous asked:

Denki headcanon: where he wants to be as close to bakugo as kirishima is and he tries so damn hard but takes bakugos insults to heart and he really does get torn up and upset about it(ex: the sports festival scene )

Oh wait which scene? Dunce face or?? :0 but yeah, I feel like he’d take it to heart at times. (but my bakukami heart tells me to say that when Baku realizes he gives him a good ass pep talk and beings hold back on his insults, or reassures Denki)

anonymous asked:

Bakugou could have PTSD and nightmares

Oh same headcanon! :’D Ah, but poor Bakugou. I’m sure the others would take it into mind and be aware of it and help him subtly so as to not provoke him, :’(

violetsare-tblue asked:

Bakugo: because of his inferiority complex, feels like he needs to prove himself over and over or he’ll be just the victim again  Iida: his left arm is completely numb. He isn’t paralyzed and he can move it. He just can’t feel anything in his hand or arm. Makes holding hands with someone feel empty and useless  Sero: he is so scared of being worthless as a hero and a person. He doesn’t want to be left behind by his classmates so he overworks himself and comes to school with random bruises

Oh mmhmm, I definitely see the Bakugou one! Especially after what he said during his fight with Deku, it def shows :(

Aw, Iida probably still looks back at his actions back in the Stain arc and regrets the errors of his ways. Luckily, I’m sure he’ll find someone who helps him through it and reminds him that mistakes don’t define him :’)

:’( Serooo MAKING ME CRY

casua-aria asked:

I have this Sero headcanon where he was the disposable (like how when tape dispensers run out and become disposable) friend in groups throughout his childhood, but now that he goes to UA, he has true caring friends that would never do that to him.

D: !!

That’s so sad- he must have thought his quirk was just life taunting him for being “disposable” hence the tape quirk :( but heck yeah, once he meets the students of UA he definitely begins to see that he wasn’t the problem in the past, but rather those that he was “friends” with!

anonymous asked:

Sero remembering very clearly all the pain that happened when his arm got cut off, maybe being a little scared of Kirishima for a few days after he first wakes up? Idk

OH YEAH THAT ONE HURTS

Like maybe.. once he’s able to respond again, he flinches and has an anxiety attack when he sees Kirishima because the sight of him just sends a flood of the memory to play in his head OOF

anonymous asked:

A personal favorite that nobody’s really thought of: a villain cuts off one finger from each of Ochako’s hands so she can’t use her quirk

OH MAN THATS BRUTAL OMG

That’s so dark!! I feel like a villain would do that should they get a hold of her and, mm maybe wanna rile up someone close to her to lure them in

meptoonzart asked:

Kirishima traitor

b R U H ID CRY MY EYES OUT IF HORI MADE HIM THE TRAITOR

                                                                                                                             Anonymous said:                                                                 

I have a lot of angsty headcanons about Kaminari specifically so I’ll just spam you with those. He attracts electricity, so he often gets struck by lightning and has almost died from it twice. Kaminari knows people think he’s the traitor and it eats him up inside every day. He’s been ‘propositioned’ by quite a few creeps because he’s pretty and his quirk is, well, what it is. He has nightmares a lot and it causes power outages, he’s terrified his classmates will hate him for it.(1/?(Idk2maybe)            

Sero got into a fight with someone after the sports festival, because how the hell did he make it into UA’S hero course, and Kaminari happens to be with him and he actively threatens the dude who started the fight with his quirk. No one bullies his friends. His overuse of his quirk is slowly killing him, he hasn’t told anyone that it’s destroying his brain. Bakugo reminds him of living in an abusive household but he doesn’t know how to say it so he laughs it off.(2/?(Okaymaybe4wearegettingthere)             

Kirishima and Sero are the first to find out about both the frying brain and the abusive household, and Sero asks Kaminari if he wants to go try something. Kaminari says sure and Sero reserves a training ground for them, and Sero swings around with Kaminari and he hopes it works for Kami the same way it does for him. Sero is smiling because he doesn’t know what else to do, but swinging through the air helps him feel better and free. It helps. But there’s always, always the anxiety (¾)  

the anxiety of ‘Maybe today is the day I fall’, but he doesn’t realize that Kaminari is helping him stay grounded. He won’t fall. Not when he gets to see Kaminari fuller of life than he’s ever been. They land on one of the buildings in ground Beta, and laugh like idiots as it starts to rain. Kaminari’s dying, Sero is a mess, and they just sit there for hours, past the end of their reservation, talking through their anxieties. Kaminari is scared to die. Sero is scared to lose him. (Okay1more4/5)        

Sero promises Kaminari he’ll be there, he’ll do everything he can to help keep him alive as long as possible, and he asks Kaminari how long he has from his last estimate. Kaminari laughs, starting to cry. Six years. Sero tells the Bakusquad, and they promise him that they’ll be there when the time comes. Not villains or Dadzawa could stop them, and finally it does. For only being a hero for three years, he’s made history for kids who have terminal illnesses (ranoutofspacedammit)      

 And the drawbacks of quirks come more into light. Kaminari may not be a great student or hero, but he brought hope to a lot of people, and everyone will miss him. They can’t hear thunder crack without thinking of him, can’t see the golden sunrise without thinking of his smile. Can’t even bear to look at the classic lit section in a bookstore. He saved people and raised awareness, but he wrecked their hearts as well. (Somehow this turned into a near-fic I’m so sorry Hope you’re doing well(Done))       

ANON OMG THANK YOU FOR THIS BASICALLY FIC IM CRYING THERES SO MUCH I DONT EVEN KNOW WHERE TO START CRYING   

iamnootthedabmast-r said:                                                                     

Heard you want some angsty headcannons- so Kaminari tends to stay up due to his quirk and he likes to stay in the dormitory lobby, so he just sits on the couch on his phone or just sits there in the dark- but this leads to him finding some secretive angsty stuff about other people in the dormitory for ex; Bakugou comes downstairs and just starts cooking cause he has terrible night terrors and Kaminari just quietly witnesses as Bakugou cries silently while he eats. (Part 1)    

(Part 2) the next morning Kaminari kind of wants to try ask or comfort him but feels rude and awkward so he also kind of struggles with the knowledge of knowing that everyone in his class is a little to a lot of broken.  So yeah, sorry if it’s a little confusing- in awkward when it comes to writing what I want to write…

DUUDE THIS IS SUCH A SAD CONCEPT IF YOU WRITE IT I WILL LEGITERALLY PERISH ON SPOT

                                                                                                                             Anonymous said:                                                   

May we… suggest directly… angsty oneshots? Please feel free to ignore this if you preferred hcs

 (lmao sorry, im not caught up with the manga or anime to know what the first part is referrring to :’D) but ah yeah I’ve seen that headcanon, not too sure how to feel, but it’s out there!                   

[ibroughtthisonmyselfpixels]

Intermission 2 Replies

I don’t think I’m gonna be getting any more replies on the intermission, and there’s only so long i can leave this until i do, so here’s the reply-to-existing-replies batch now. but first:

@bountifulberries replied to your photoset “So because I have no restraint, I made a very smol tiny Sim called...”

I think a paid surrogate mother would be a very interesting contestant / sim in general!

It’d certainly put a new stamp on the 100bc, that’s for sure

@sevenleafsimblr replied to your photo

“FORMER BC ORGANISER FOUND DEAD IN HOME A once-prominent figure in the...”

��

he died before his prime

sevenleafsimblr replied to your photo “A sweet or agreeable succession or arrangement of sounds.”

it completely flew over my head during the Melody Reveal that "melody" is also a music term and im mad @ myself

Un Der Standable

@jackssims replied to your photoset “Deacon: “…spinning?” ”

It looks like she’s t-posing to asset her dominance

Lissa said by PM:

This is a little silly to mention but -- I think it's kind of cool how you're incorporating old stuff again? Like, between the Wilkersons and a tie to Charlie and stuff. I know that old stuff can be hard for you sometimes, so I Just Think It's Neat ^^

i said at the time that it’s more out of necessity some of it than anything else to flesh out the neighbourhood, but you know what? i change my answer. it’s not that the old stuff isn’t hard for me, it’s that the new stuff is just as hard. i want my being good back

@tosimornottosim replied to your photoset “But back then, when I didn’t have to hide… the Wilkersons and I - we...”

I am terrified of what comes next but I am actually so happy that she has a good support network

without that system in place who knows where she would be. somewhere you wouldn’t wanna read, i’ll bet

tosimornottosim replied to your photoset “At first I liked Jase best, just because he was so quiet and strange...”

They must be very good friends. They survived using the blue shell on one another

Cid is a good dad and won’t ground Lauro for that. Now if he’d used that lightning on him, he might’ve thought about it - that fucking lightning bolt’s the fucking worst

jackssims replied to your photoset “¦it wasn’t always good. Not those times. But that wasn’t because of...”

Those blondes... �� (unless of course I’m reading too much into this, then I redact my eyes emoji, but I’ll wait and see)

That’s true; we never did get a real answer for that, did we?

tosimornottosim replied to the same:

B I t c h e s

Well, yes, that applies regardless

tosimornottosim replied to your photoset “Lynn: “You’ve got it riiiight here! BLEH!!” Melody: “U-under my eyes?...”

Lynn is such a good person..............................;;;;;;

Lynn makes you cry from all six of your eyes. strexgnome

jackssims replied to your photoset “And t- then there was the one that worried everyone… the - I got a,...”

��

tosimornottosim replied to the same:

:eyes:

sevenleafsimblr replied to the same:

uh oh.....

I will only say this: it’s fortunate that the girlfriend didn’t make everything totally and utterly worse for her

tosimornottosim replied to your photoset “Lavandar: *wide-eyed* “Y-you - you dated your own bully?!”...”

I don't trust you Blonde Scarlet and Viola

O KA y whether they’re who you think they are or not that description is fucking hilarious

tosimornottosim replied to your photoset “Estelle: “…Oh god, Melody. Are you okay?”  Melody: *shaking* “Please…”...”

Don’t touch her you fucker. Don’t touch her

‘Limp’ is very specific and deliberate consistently-abused-child language, at least to me. If you don’t put up a fight, it doesn’t hurt as much.

jackssims replied to your photoset “Estelle: “…Melody? Melody, can you look at Mommy please?” Melody: “…”...”

Fuck Estelle

tosimornottosim replied to the same:

I want her to die

sevenleafsimblr replied to the same:

estelle can you be a good girl and get some sleep and not wake up

It isn’t wrong, but it is interesting that ‘can you be a good girl’ is what a lot of you replied to throughout this. is it because it’s the most convenient place, being at the end; because it feels weird commenting on the actual violence; or because the emotional manipulation is the straw that breaks the camel’s back?

tosimornottosim replied to your photoset “Lavandar: “Noooope! No no no no, no. It doesn’t work that way,...”

PREACH IT LAV IM SO FUCKING PROUD OF YOU LAV

As you well know, this is something I have to work hard to convince myself, hence the soapbox. (Can it be a soapbox if you have trouble holding the soapbox’s beliefs?) It doesn’t help that I do charity work at a bookstore, and Torey Hayden / Cathy Glass / other trauma-porn books come in on the regular - it’s hard to be confident in the legitimacy of how Mum’s affected me when stories that feature kids who’ve been utterly decimated and forgotten over the years are in my line of sight that often.

Incidentally, I hope I haven’t crossed the line to trauma-porn here. This is intended to be an explanation for part of Lorelei’s backstory and why she has a lot of the mannerisms she does (plus a few hints for down the road, but that first thing first and foremost) - obviously making you sad is a goal too, but not to an exploitative extent, you know? 

@cafesimming replied to your photoset “Lorelei: “I… I’m sorry. I won’t say it again, I’m sor–”...”

i havent been replying but i just got s chance to read sll this and i love lorelei and i love lavandar and i love this story and im quite literally on the verge of tears reading all this rn and aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa love

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

bountifulberries replied to your photoset “Lavandar: *shrinks back, curling up onto herself, breathing shakily* ...”

All of this is making me so sad but it’s so well done!! I literally didn’t wanna go to bed last night bc I wanted to keep waiting for updates to post

get some sleep Kasey. if you’re going back to school you need all the sleep you can get. i can be awake for you and get in trouble for it

tosimornottosim replied to your photoset “I really am sorry, you know. Lavandar. That I’m p- that I’m putting...”

It wasn’t a lack of bravery. You were so brave

there’s two kinds of bravery: to confront, and to endure. Lyra has the confrontational bravery covered. Lorelei is the endurance. 

tosimornottosim replied to your photoset “He looked at my arm. He looked at me. H-he… looked at me, like Lyra...”

Zeus bless Jase. In all truthfulness

give him the happiest of marriages and the least of links to that box with the finger in it...

tosimornottosim replied to your photoset “¦He didn’t say a word… to me.” Jase: “…” Pal: “Poor fucking Melody....”

is. is he gonna make himself talk to help her. is. is he gonna do that. because if he does i'm fucking gonna cry

He!! Did that!!

tosimornottosim replied to your photoset “But I’ll… even with everything… I’ll forever be grateful that he...”

god what a hero

the hero we need but we don’t deserve

jackssims replied to the same: 

Good. This is good (I hope)

It was a mixed blessing

tosimornottosim replied to your photoset “I didn’t put two and two together until Jase told me later… but Mom...”

You weren't bad. You weren't bad

Lorelei knows that. Melody does not.

tosimornottosim replied to your photoset “¦what happened after that, Lorelei? Did she–?” “She was held for a...”

oh colby...

I’m not sure where else to put this yet, but designing Estelle was almost as much - not necessarily fun, but it took about as much thought as designing Amelia did back in the day. I think she’s quite handsome, but it’s ruined by her looking almost perpetually sour/disgruntled. I even employed another Enid Blyton trick: her eyes are closer together compared to my other Sims, and a pale blue, much like Prudence from another St Clare’s book. Until they (Prudence’s) turned brown in a later scene in one of the few legitimate continuity errors I’ve seen from Enid but that’s neither here nor there 

I’d also like to emphasise an actually salient point: if it wasn’t clear, Estelle isn’t mentally ill in any way that I know of. There may be neuroses there that never got diagnosed, but they're not the root of her behaviour even if there are. She’s reprehensible enough without chemical imbalances there to influence it. 

tosimornottosim replied to your photoset “We tried to be safe. She tried to… let us be a normal family. A happy...”

I understand rationally that Colby is a victim of abuse but /damn/ does he make my blood boil rn

I in turn understand why you’d be angry at him - he allowed a very volatile influence back into Lorelei’s life - but honestly I mostly feel pity for him. He’s a bit like, um... what’s a good comparison...? Charlie Swan feels like the closest analogue, though the circumstances are different there. He can try to lay down some rules and speak the truth of it, but when the largest female influence in the house is this dominant, this domineering, and cares more about what he can do for her than what he chooses to do for himself, what chance does he have? 

It doesn’t help that being willing to please and put his own neck on the line to keep other people happy is kind of a core part of his personality - he’s the person from whom Lorelei inherited the Good trait (much like Amelia got Perfectionist from Maus), but his manifestation of Good leans more towards Doormat than Empathetic, if you see what I mean. It becomes especially clear if I reveal and then you consider he dropped out of college at twenty halfway through a tech degree specifically to marry Estelle so that she could have someone to keep her company at medical school. Self sabotage for the boosting of others.

(Estelle’s two years and a few months Colby’s senior, by the way)

tosimornottosim replied to your photoset “I was a wreck at home, and a - even worse, at school. I kept my mouth...”

I wish there was a word for like, SHSL Mom. Because that's what Lynn is. She's like a Double Mom

maxi extreme ultra Mom

Vid incidentally got very upset at around the Jase Pal break-up post, for good reason: these people are just kids. this stuff is much too big for them, they didn’t deserve this.

@geezsims liked your photoset “¦to Bridgeport.” “God. All by yourself? No one-?”  â€œThe journey, y-...”

Han. Han. I admire the like, Han, but I feel like you’ve missed, like, nine tenths of the story here

tosimornottosim replied to the same:

See Colby /this/ is how you Dad

by dying your hair, or sending your kid to a safe place? i’m not sure the intended message here

tosimornottosim replied to your photoset “¦Lorelei Kessler.”

My hero

I need a Lorelei; I’m holding out for a Lorelei til the end of the etc

tosimornottosim replied to your photoset “Lorelei: “I trust you, Lavandar. I trust you. I trust you. N- no...”

Lavender: *a gentleman's guide to love and murder playing* I've decided to marry you! I've decided to marry you!

Blessed Image

tosimornottosim replied to your photoset “Lorelei: “Lyra?! Uh- um -” *clambers up* “You’re - you’re back?” ...”

Man I’m happy you’re going to be here, Ly, but what a buzzkill We almost had a confession!

Like I said in the end credits, we almost had a lot of things ;)

tosimornottosim replied to your photoset “¦ *crunch* *click* *crunch*  â€¦ Lyra: “…okay, and - open.” – End of...”

Now you’re the cockblock, Dub

bountifulberries replied to the same:

RUDE

jackssims replied to your photoset “¦ *crunch* *click* *crunch*  â€¦ Lyra: “…okay, and - open.” – End of...”

Ending it with a tease, eh?

Okay y’all I understand but like y’all, y’all. y’all. this part of SoS is ultimately Lorelei’s story. If I’d ended it with the full Lyra reveal, it would become Lyra’s story again too much, and a lot of the impact of what Lor’s been talking about would’ve been lost. I felt like I was pushing it as it is

jackssims replied to your post “Intermission 2: Melody End Credits”

This interlude-update was amazing. It made me feel stuff like never before, and I was always refreshing my dash for it. Great job!

holy hell thank!!!! I’ll try to maintain that quality, or at least a small fraction of it, into the rest of the project going forward! 

[theworld-accordingtocasey]

Hmm...well if he lost his AirPods why was it necessary to look for them without the umbrella that was previously in his hand 🤔

and he didn’t look just “confused” he looked legitimately upset lol & why did looking for them affect which vehicle he rode in which coincided with Jeno having the touchy-feely manager sit next to him ? Isn’t stuff like thisnorganized in advance so there are no mishaps? It didn’t seem to be originally set up for Nana to ride 1-5 split there and RJ to ride 1-5 split home. Or he’d have gone to look for that car first, before he even realized he lost the pods, no? I don’t get it.

Did anyone see him “find” or pick up his “AirPods”? Don’t they always wear their cute little pod cases on their pants loops to put them in when they’re done using them? Renjun is one of the most organized/clean members, yes he’s human so he’s not flawlessly tidy but him losing something so expensive and a gift is..sus. If it weren’t for all of the other clear mistreatment by Sm staff directed at him I’d take this at face value & say “....okay.” (in that same little disappointed awkward voice Renjun uses after he gets whisper-yelled-at during livestreams🙃) but...things don’t add up & SM is known to discriminate against Chinese members and obviously still hasn’t learned (hello, the Sicheng situation(s)??) so this with the refusal to clarify Jen’s part of our concerns as well as address all of the VLive mishaps force me to not believe this. If RJ mentioned this its bc SOMEONE- he, staff, another member, whoever- knows that we have been pissed at SM lately and airing our grievances. That means they know about the their ““misunderstandings”” as I’m sure they’d call them, with NCT yet the only one responded to is one that the member who visibly gets the short end of the stick, has to try to smooth over himself? And not @ how that same day he mentioned just wanted to be happy from now on and not have to be sad anymore? Hmm ok yeah no fuck off sm, we are watching you harder than ever.

Y'all

[themisfitmouse]

REALLY  LONG CHARACTER SURVEY. RULES. repost, don’t reblog ! tag 10 ! good  luck ! TAGGED. @murroyilodel thank you!! TAGGING. im stealing their idea- if i’m going to fill this out, i’m dragging everyone down with me @ask-cei-rai @ask-the-fearsome-four (you can choose a muse lol) @bankersdaughter @blowthehousedown @bettermcuse @collectorcopernicus @crownedfin @desi-mouse @duluisms @forgotten-genius @frclcngian @golden-sun-warrior @headinjurydog @hoopsheartthrob @inkyrcbbiit @inkyrcbbiit @itsplanty @judy-flopps @kittywhskers @little-goof @luckier-than-most-kitties @liveslikeadisaster @middlekidsyndrcme @neverfcrgotten (you can choose a muse too haha), @ofprofetiisms @pearpimplesforhairyfishnuts @pinkiexxsmiles @problem-free @quartzuniiiverse @roxanneiisms @saintly-bunny @sewn-cutie  @sirgyrodegearloose @skeletonwithabowtie @smalladventurer @somebodyxstopxme @that-elegant-captain @the-littlest-inkblot @thebandicootbombshell @thewindywielder @tokingdomscome @wabbitseezon @weebiter @youngestwarnersib

ily all <33

BASICS. FULL  NAME : savannah flora mouse NICKNAME : different people give her different nicknames, but her preferred one is savie AGE : her mental age is 10-11, but she’s been around for 88 years BIRTHDAY : march 18, 1928 (I had to change the date a day later bc, although its historically accurate, i didn’t know it was on st. patrick’s day lmao) ETHNIC  GROUP : american? a toon?? NATIONALITY :  american??? LANGUAGE / S : english, though she knows typical greetings in a few different languages SEXUAL  ORIENTATION : asexual.     ROMANTIC  ORIENTATION : heteroromantic. RELATIONSHIP  STATUS : crushing single pringle CLASS : so i don’t think wasteland has any classes?? she doesn’t have a lot of money though, so maybe lower class. HOME  TOWN / AREA : los angeles, california CURRENT  HOME : observatory, mean street south, wasteland PROFESSION : a stargazer’s apprentice, keeping the animals in wasteland out of trouble (which is a bigger job than it sounds, since without her all the animals from the previous disney movies would be destroying the place), and she does various other errands for toons.

PHYSICAL. HAIR : white, almost creme colored, short curly hair that never goes past her head. she has some bangs that fall over her eyes. EYES : icy hues speckled with dots of white- her pupals being white due to the thinner disaster NOSE : a round, black button nose that comes out a little due to her mouse features. FACE : small and round, prone to sometimes showing dimples LIPS : she doesn’t have much of a lip, i mean, it’s mostly a line that curves into a smile or a frown. COMPLEXION : a warm brown that nearly always has a tint of blush to her cheeks. BLEMISHES : none that are particularly noticeable SCARS : if her eyes count as scars, then there’s that. she also has various bruises on her legs due to her clumsy nature. TATTOOS : none. HEIGHT : 2′0″ WEIGHT : 10-15 lbs BUILD : she’s very petite and skinny, which wouldn’t seem so bad if it didn’t seem to be almost unhealthy. she isn’t particularly insecure about her body- it’s just to anyone else, she might seem a bit malnourished if not proven otherwise. FEATURES : her icy hues are soft but captivating, and are distinguishable even from a distance. savie’s small build can make her go unnoticed to anyone not looking for her, and her pastel looking colors can make her stand out a little from a usually- grey area like wasteland. ALLERGIES : she has a slight allergy to dust, but other than that, none. USUAL  HAIR  STYLE : her hair is far too short to put in a ponytail or do anything other than keep it down. it’s usually left the way it is, with a bow placed behind her ears. USUAL  FACE  LOOK : anyone who has ever looked at her can tell she has a very shy personality just from her face alone. her eyes are gentle and soft, never stern or angry, with a joyful smile usually accompanying it. she’s not very good at hiding her own emotions however- as much as she would like to believe otherwise. when she’s upset or feeling rather shy, her eyes drift away from where she was previously focusing, and a small frown usually displays her sadness. USUAL  CLOTHING : a pastel blue skirt that reaches just above her knees, with a white lace/apron (cries bc idk how to describe it), tying at the back with a little white ribbon. she normally wears yellow shoes with a blue bow behind her ears.

PSYCHOLOGY. FEAR / S : everything. savie could be described as a generally paranoid and anxious person, she fears a lot of things, but her biggest fear is being forgotten by all her friends and not being able to amount to anything (hence her questioning ‘could i be enough?’ a lot) ASPIRATION / S : savie doesn’t have many aspirations.... at all. she’s kinda given up on ever leaving wasteland- there’s little to no proof that she ever existed- plus no one would really want anyone like her anyways. she believes she doesn’t have a future outside of wasteland, so her dreams don’t go very bigger than just hoping that a miracle could happen and everyone around her could be remembered. as for her? savie doesn’t think she’ll ever be remembered, as much as she wishes she might be, though her optimistic smile tends to show otherwise. POSITIVE  TRAITS : gentle, kind, innocent, patient, humble, pacifist NEGATIVE  TRAITS : stubborn, self-conscious, anxious, prone to jealousy and sometimes greed. MBTI : isfp ZODIAC : pisces TEMPERAMENT : melancholic SOUL  TYPE / S : caregiver ANIMALS : savie takes the term ‘as quiet as a mouse’ very legitimately. she is mostly like what you’d imagine a mouse acting like. when i took the quiz, however, i got a bat. VICE  HABIT / S : her hands have to be doing something when she’s talking to someone. they can’t just be to her side, they have to be occupied- whether that be through fiddling with her skirt folds, folding them together, etc. FAITH : she’s very.... weird with stuff like this. she believes in every religion in a way- kinda like a fairy tale. she thinks that all the gods and goddesses exist as one big family. if anything though, she does believe that there’s something bigger out there, but there isn’t just one religion to her. she doesn’t practice anything regularly though. GHOSTS ? : i mean..... there are ghosts in Wasteland..... so... AFTERLIFE ? : she believes that something happens after you die.... but she doesn't know what REINCARNATION ? : ^^^^ ALIENS ? : maybe?? she’d like to believe that friendly aliens are out there somewhere! POLITICAL  ALIGNMENT : all she knows is that in wasteland there’s a king and queen, the united states has a president, and there can be princes and princesses. anything else confuses her to no end. ECONOMIC  PREFERENCE : she lives with gremlin copernicus in the mean street observatory, though she is a child, she takes it upon herself to help out wherever she can with money and expenses. savie doesn’t really make any income per say, but she does sometimes get e-tickets by helping others or just finding them in random locations. SOCIOPOLITICAL  POSITION : toons aren’t really revered as equal as people yet, so that in itself can cause some problems. however, she is a child after all in the eyes of others, so living with someone whom she almost considers family doesn’t raise any brows. she isn’t poor, she has enough to get by, and that’s good for her. EDUCATION  LEVEL : she was taught the basics like reading, writing, and talking by women in the walt disney studios. whatever further education she has was either self taught, or gremlin copernicus taught her.

FAMILY. FATHER : here’s where things get complicated. technically she has two fathers, walt disney and ub iwerks. walt disney created the concept of her and drew her out, but ub iwerks was the one who inked her. they never made her any parents, so they are the closet thing she has to a real father. she connects more pleasant, happier memories with walt than ub, however. MOTHER : the closest thing she has to a mother is lilian disney for reasons above. SIBLINGS : none. EXTENDED  FAMILY : none. NAME  MEANING / S : explained here  HISTORICAL  CONNECTION ? : OK SO HERE’S THE THING, her origins were actually based around things that actually happened. there was a brown house mouse that walt used to base mickey off of, ub iwerks did leave walt to make his own company, etc. etc. savie did not exist, but her whole story is based around the idea of ‘what if there was another mouse, created by ub instead of walt, based more around the mice in the laugh o’ grams studio?’

FAVOURITES. BOOK : she doesn’t really have a favorite, but she loves fairy tales! MOVIE : see above 5  SONGS : so here’s the thing.... she doesn’t listen to a lot of music. however, she does like jazz because it brings back memories, and folk music.  DEITY : refer to the faith section. HOLIDAY : christmas! not because she likes receiving gifts, rather, she likes the feeling of christmas. it’s the one time of the year when everyone is joyful and happy, plus it gives her an excuse to get presents for her friends! MONTH : months that are warm, so usually april, may, and june? SEASON : spring! PLACE : she loves just being in a meadow or wooded area, surrounded by silence and nature. or her own room..... that works too. WEATHER : she likes all weather, except when it’s extremely hot or cold. SOUND : a chirp of a friendly bird, a soft melody, a book page turning, someone laughing joyfully, wind sweeping through chimes, waves crashing on a bank. SCENT / S : fresh baked cookies from the oven, flowers touched by morning dew, a new book just opened for the first time. TASTE / S : any kind of cheese, much like any other mouse; candy, whether it be smooth chocolate or sour gummys; warm soup, and a cold glass of water on a hot day. FEEL / S : an embrace from someone she holds dear, a soft blanket wrapped around her body, laying down on a bed after a long day, wind sweeping around her skirt, the coarse fur of an animal ANIMAL / S : too many. NUMBER : two COLOUR : all of them, she can’t pick just one!

EXTRA. TALENTS : communicating to different animals and figuring out what they’re thinking or saying with little to no words, ability to learn quickly..... though it isn’t a talent, she’s very good at being patient to those who might otherwise get one someone's nerves. she’s a good listener, making her a reliable person if you want to talk about something without the fear of someone not understanding. BAD  AT : she’s horrible at retaining her own emotions, her features reveal almost anything that’s going through her head- despite a smile trying to prove otherwise. she tries so hard to be optimistic, her words might be decorated with encouragement and joy, but her optimism can only go so far. savie is very stubborn, once she has her mind set on something, whether it be a thought or an action, she won’t give up on it until she finishes it or convinces whomever is opposing her to support her decision. her shy nature can’t go unnoticed either, and her anxiety proves to be her downfall in most social situations. TURN  ONS : TURN  OFFS : HOBBIES : she likes to bake, though she isn’t the best at it, in her free time she’s usually found reading a book or maybe looking for a close friend to talk to.  TROPES : listen..... i know she fits into at least a few tropes... but i’m too tired to look through the whole list..... i’m sorry lol AESTHETIC  TAGS : GPOY  QUOTES : 

FC INFO. MAIN  FC / S : a.ryana engineer ALT  FC / S : shi.rley temple- her old face claim. OLDER  FC / S : none. YOUNGER  FC / S : aryan.a engineer in orphan.  VOICE  CLAIM / S : none at the moment GENDERBENT  FC / S : none

MUN QUESTIONS. Q1 : if  you  could  write  your  character  your  way  in  their  own  movie ,   what  would  it  be  called ,  what  style  would  it  be  filmed  in ,  and  what  would  it  be  about ?           A1 : if someone ever asked to have savie in her own movie, i would probably lose my mind tbh, it would be a huge deal to me haha. i don’t really know much about filming, so i’m not sure about the style, but i’d probably call it ‘The Misfit Mouse’ and have it be about her life, her connections with disney, how she was forgotten, and the things that happened after that.  Q2 : what  would  their  soundtrack / score  sound  like ?           A2 : probably what you’d imagine a typical disney score sounding like. Q3 : why  did  you  start  writing  this  character ?           A3 : savie came from a very dark time in my life. i wasn’t in a good mental health, and everything was kinda crumbling around me. she helped me get through a tough part of my life, and i’m really proud of how far she’s come. i’m proud of her story and personality, and i wanted to show her off to the world. sure my first couple years were very.... cringe-worthy, but i don’t regret any of it. (or at least a majority of it). she’s developed so much over the past four years, and though i may never actually feel 100 percent satisfied with her, i’m happy enough to write her as her own character. Q4 : what  first  attracted  you  to  this  character ?           A4 : see above. Q5 : describe  the  biggest  thing  you  dislike  about  your  muse.           A5 : it’s not a matter of something i dislike about her, more or less, just something about her personality that’s hard to write. her shyness doesn’t really let her be as outgoing as other muses, therefore, it can be hard to convey her feelings in writing, and it’s even harder to comment on something going on the dash. because usually when something’s going on, savie’s like ‘oh.... i better not say anything.... i don’t want to get in the way....’ plus all the newer people she’s met have to get through that layer of shyness before they can see the other parts of her personality shine. Q6 : what  do  you  have  in  common  with  your  muse ?           A6 : we’re both girls, we’re both very small, and we’re both shy and awkward, though i’m not as near as savie’s level.  Q7 : how  does  your  muse  feel  about  you ?           A7 : she thinks i’m a nice friend. just don’t tell her i’m the one who put her through all this trauma and everything will be fine lmao Q8 : what  characters  does  your  muse  have  interesting  interactions  with ?         A8 : omg soooo many people! if you want to get specific, look at all the people i tagged! they’re all amazing, and it’s just so cool to see savie interact with all these lovely characters <3 Q9 : what  gives  you  inspiration  to  write  your  muse ?         A9 : listening to music usually, though her muse usually comes naturally to me. Q10 : how  long  did  this  take  you  to  complete ?         A10 : so i started this at 8:45..... at the time of typing this, it is 12:30.... almost four hours. r i p me.

[amorremanet]

Arthur/moody, lucius/moody, lupin/snape?

the brutally honest ship opinions game

Arthur/Moody: ……okay, like, I have basically no positive feelings about Alastor Moody — I mean, I feel the same need to defend him from JKR’s ableist garbage that accidentally got me in too deep with Lockhart, but we are still talking about a guy who supports using Dementors on people and apparently dngaf about what someone’s done, just send ‘em all to fucking Azkaban (GOF ch. 30, the flashback of Moody we see in the first Pensieve scene)

who thinks that the best present you could give to a kid who’s lost his parents and just watched a classmate be murdered…… is going over a photo of the First War Order and telling him about how all of them died horribly and he doesn’t ever stop to think that this might not be the best idea (OOTP)

and who is legitimately less sensitive to other people’s needs and less dismissive of people who aren’t his exact model of “useful” than a literal fucking Death Eater one of the biggest points where Barty Crouch Jr. drops character in GOF is when he takes Neville to his office and gives him a pro-Herbology pep-talk, and goes, “so, hey, Longbottom, Professor Sprout said you’re super-good at this subject, why not pursue it,” because based on the actual canon about him? The real Alastor Moody would never do something like that.

Like, he might have the moment he has with Harry and Hermione, where he goes, “so, hey, both of you could be gr10 aurors if you wanted, you should think about it” because that, from Moody, would be a compliment, and Harry and Hermione more closely fit his own ideas of usefulness, but not so much the Neville moment)

—but seriously, do you hate him or something? Why else would you even dream of shipping him with Arthur Weasley? (okay, fine, I acquiesce that there is enough of a canonical basis for some people to roll with here, and I myself have made ships out of far less…… but seriously, why would you ship anybody with Arthur Weasley. Like…… wow, rude.)

Lucius/Moody: again, I’m not on the Alastor Moody fan-train or anything, but why would you even do this. Nobody deserves to be shipped with Lucius Malfoy, like? He’s not even an entertaining villain, he’s just pathetic. He’s a sad, pathetic fantasy-fascist who gets his kicks by bullying twelve-year-olds and torturing muggles who can’t defend themselves. He’s a complete waste of character space and forcing anyone to be in a ship with him is just unfathomably cruel

Lupin/Snape: meh, whatever. Like, it’s not my thing, but… *shrugs* meh?

Like, idk what you’re looking for here, nonny, but I’m guessing, based on the other two ships, that you’re looking for me to get cranky and ship-bashy and figured that Snu//pin was a good way to get there, since there are a lot of legitimate Problems with this ship in the text

But the thing is, I’m just under 900 years old (at least in fandom terms), and I remember the days back before HBP came out, when Snu//pin was the second-most popular Remus ship (after Wolfstar, to the surprise of no one), and was, in fact, so popular that it had its own private archive and got black-listed from most rarepair comms because it, “wasn’t really rare, just less popular than D//rarry, Wolfstar, Ro//mione, Dra//mione, H//inny, and J//ily”

—I mean, there was a short stretch before OOTP where I tried to make myself like it because there was a BNF whose art I loved, and she shipped Snu//pin, so I felt like I had to be missing something obvious and cool and because I was, like, twelve, I tried to make myself ship the thing. That didn’t work and I eventually just moved on, but one thing that I recall about the Snu//pin fandom that appears to still be more or less true, based on everything I’ve seen of the present-day Snu//pin fandom?

Is that they came out about the same as the Wolfstar fandom, in terms of how many shippers ignored or made excuses for #Problematic things about the ship vs. how many shippers work those things into the overall fabric of how they ship the thing, how many shippers LIKE the ship because of those Problematic parts and having the opportunity to explore them in fiction, how many shippers actively dive head-first into exploring those parts of the ships because that’s where they find the most engaging character interactions or whatever they’re into, etc.

For examples of what I mean when I say #Problematic things about the ships:

the fact that all three of them are self-loathing [human or werewolf] disasters who are often passively suicidal and either prone to acting out on those feelings (Sirius and Severus), or prone to repressing those feelings until they explode all over some innocent bystanders (Remus)

the fact that all three of them have suffered horrific abuse in their pasts — whether from their parents or other sources — and find ways to take it out on other people (Severus on his students, Sirius on Severus and Kreacher, and Remus on almost anyone who tries to get close to him, even as he makes it seem like he isn’t doing that)

Severus outing Remus as a werewolf because he’s upset and felt like punishing someone else for it, thereby leading to Remus tendering his resignation

the fact that Sirius assuming Remus had to be the spy would’ve been at least partially based on anti-werewolf prejudices, and Sirius still clearly had at least some of those prejudices on his own, because even if Peter totally manipulated them in his favor, there had to be something there for Peter to manipulate in the first place, so???

the fact that Remus doesn’t help shit anything, in any situation ever, with his habit of trying to weasel out of any Emotionally Difficult™ conversations and his tendency to mentally spin most situations so that everyone is going to leave him in the end anyway so it’s acceptable to shut down, close himself off, and pull stunts that more or less come down to, “totally up and bailing on everyone,” which is understandable, given his backstory, but dude, that doesn’t make it okay or helpful??

basically, “literally anything about the characters as individuals, or in terms of their interactions with each other — both past and present — that could potentially cause problems for either/both/any/all of them and potentially make the relationship unhealthy (or unhealthier than it already was, in the cases of Snu//pin and Snack because…… oh boy, let’s not even act like either of those — or any ship with Sev in it, for that matter — is ever going to be ‘healthy’ by any definition)”

So, like? Is Snupin #Problematic? Yes, definitely. Are some of its shippers prone to ship it in #Problematic ways? Oh, yes, absolutely (Hell, the BNF whose art I used to like even flat-out said things like, “Sirius would never be able to be there for Remus like Snape could” and… um? Even granted that this was pre-OOTP: ummm???)

But on the whole, Snu//pin shippers aren’t actually any worse about totally ignoring and/or excusing these elements of their ship than Wolfstar shippers are (and, actually, they might be doing better than a LOT of the present-day Wolfstar fandom, since I usually don’t see any more recently made Snu//pin that doesn’t grapple with at least some of the #Problematic elements of it — they don’t always do it well, but at least they’re trying, which counts for a lot, to me, because most people don’t even try — while most Wolfstar these days flat-out ignores all the #Problematic elements of Sirius and Remus as characters, and of their relationship, in the name of what often amounts to borderline-OOC caricatured fanon nonsense, so…)

(……Look, I love Wolfstar, and I have for longer than some people on this website have been alive. But I don’t love a lot of Wolfstar shippers, which has been the case since the beginning of my Wolfstar shipping

stayed the case when HBP came out and I was all, “Hey, guys? I don’t like this BS Remus/Tonks thing either, but can we NOT erase bisexuals or treat Tonks like garbage when we’re talking about it, it’s not her fault that Molly Weasley is a meddling nosy garbage buttinski who thinks it’s her job to play matchmaker to fully-grown adults who didn’t ask and don’t want her input,”

and is still the case as I’m over here, all like, “ugh, man, at least we used to have SOME people in this fandom who enjoyed reading Wolfstar angst, now it seems like nobody cares about anything unless it’s all fluff, all the time, with absolutely no room for anything else because god forbid you ever want to write about LGBTQ characters whose lives aren’t 5,000% perfect, that obviously must mean that you’re a gross fetishistic cishet and not, for example, a neurodivergent, mentally ill lesbian survivor who feels left out by the trend towards forcing every LGBTQ person to act like we’re happy, all the time, and to act like we’re only interested in fictional LGBTQ people who are perfectly 5,000% happy all the time

“and to decry any and all depictions of LGBTQ people being UNhappy as gross fetishistic straight people garbage even when they were actually created by and for LGBTQ people, only to be misappropriated by straight people, as if there’s no way you could possibly be LGBTQ and NOT feel ~used and maligned~ by depictions of LGBTQ people that are less than 5,000% perfectly happy, even when they are being created by other LGBTQ people, yeah? ……but yeah, no, clearly: the fact that I like angst obviously means that I am a straight person because no ~real~ LGBTQ person ever has any need for those ~gross negative feelings~ or fictional outlets for them, never mind how many LGBTQ people get excluded from our narratives and spaces by this bullshit bc lmao who cares amiright. ://”)

—anyway, my motto has been and remains, “It isn’t a question of WHAT you ship, it’s a question of HOW you ship it,” so hey. Snu//pin is not my thing (it’s not even as non-shippingly interesting to me as Sirius/Severus is, because I love how much those two hate each other while unwittingly being perfect foils for each other), but I don’t actually have any desire to ship-bash it and most Snu//pin shippers are okay with me because unless they’re actually doing anything that’s harmful to anyone else, it’s not my business what they ship

That said: “Snu//pin” is still one of the worst portmanteau ship names ever and it still sounds like a deadly virus or something, but *shrugs* Whatever, it’s not the shippers’ faults that their ship members’ names don’t smush up all that nicely

[dajoezenone]

Remember when I did Reviews and posted them here?

DOCTOR WHO CHRISTMAS SPECIAL AIRED AND IM POSTING THOUGHTS HERE. LETS GOO

MAJOR SPOILER ALERT, YA HEAR? DONT READ THIS IF YOU HAVENT WATCHED TWICE UPON A TIME YET. DONT BE STUPID. Im serious.

I feel like Moffat wasted this idea. He had this great setup to do an episode about how the show has changed, and questioning if thats a good or a bad thing, but this was ultimately not that. 

Sure, there are a few jokes about how the Doctor has changed, and in the end we see the seeds of the older Doctor in the younger one, but ultimately that isn’t the focus. Which is kind of weird because, again, I feel like using this idea on a story that ISNT about that is a waste. 

But Im getting ahead of myself. 

It starts out by showing us scenes from the episode where Bill Hartnell’s doctor regenerates, and then cuts off, leading into where the previous episode ended. There’s some text narration that I dont like because it is 1- unnecessary and B- weird? When has the show ever done this? Why was it so obviously something done in post? And if it was written in, why’d they make it look like a last minute decision done in post? 

Anyways, the two Doctors themselves are both great. Or at least, the Actors are really great. They’re not written very impressively. This is not Moffat at his best. Which is a shame, because I loved the Moffat era and Im sad that it feels like the man himself was phoning it in at the end.

After the theme tune, we’re introduced to Mark Gatiss’s character, who is a WWI soldier, moments before his death. Time is frozen all around him, and then he’s transported to where the two Doctors are. 

His character isn’t bad. I didn’t mind him while I was watching, but looking back on the episode he was mostly there to serve the plot, which was ultimately pointless. So he does kinda bug me.  Anyways they all go into the TARDIS. Theres some jokes about the secret alchohol stache we saw a few Christmases ago which is fine. Some humor about the guitar, which I dont like. A Couple of the Doctors have played musical instruments. Having a personality trait thats consistent across Doctors be insulted by the original Doctor makes very little sense in my mind. And Capaldi is embarrassed of it? Capaldi’s Doctor is many things but embarrassed of one of the things that is legitimately cool? Weird conversation imo. 

Oh and here we’re reintroduced to the fact that First Doctor was a bit sexist. Which, fine. He kinda was. Its an area where the Doctor has changed with the times. Except that its implied in other Capaldi episodes that Time Lord society just is actually more progressive bc they can change from male to female with a simple regeneration. This is why I feel like this was such a waste of potential. A trait that they implicitly retconned to not have changed over time is one of the main differences between the two that they focus on. Why? Nothing interesting is really learned there. It just lets Moffat virtue signal which is unnecessary. 

Back to the plot, the TARDIS is captured by “The Dead” who dont explain whats going on, which is dumb of them, but offer to trade soldier Gatiss for Bill Potts, who is apparently among the dead. Nice. So glad they brought back a character whose arc ended with her getting a happy ending in order to show that it didn’t last long and that when they brought her back for an episode, it was for a plot related gimmick and she cant stay on the show still. I know they weren’t going to, but it still annoys me. I was ready for more Bill. I love Bill and this felt like a tease. Speaking of which, they let you think it really is Bill. Its not like in Day of the Doctor where you know that isn’t Rose the whole time. No, they let you think it maybe really is Bill. Why? 

After some banter, the four of them escape the glass dead people. Or, person. Who looks very fake and not very intimidating. Which makes sense considering SPOILER ALERT the glass dead person isn’t evil. She’s not evil at all. She’s the main antagonist and in the end of the episode the Doctor’s basically just like “Wow OK well thats fine keep doing what you’re doing”. Nothing really even comes of it. Its all just padding and setup for the episode to end in the way that we all know it will. 

Getting ahead of myself again. They spend some time on some Dalek controlled planet, where Rusty (The good Dalek that Doctor and Clara went inside back in season 8) sits in a tower and shoots at other Daleks all day. Rusty is old and cranky now. I guess. Actually he’s basically just a regular Dalek actually. But he will help the Doctor bc the Doctor convinces him it’ll hurt other Daleks. But actually all it does is reveal the twist I spoiled for you. 

That said the main point was to give the characters a backdrop other than the old TARDIS set while they interact. We get some stuff with not-Bill and the Doctor which is pretty good. Some stuff with not-Bill and Gatiss which is actually really really good. And some stuff with the two Doctors which was... fine? Again, my main problem with the episode was that the two of them could have been used so much better but they simply aren’t. The two actors are phenominal, but I just dont buy Moffat’s writing in this episode. Give them intersting stuff to say, geez. Its all just kind of... what you’d expect. 

Then we get the ending, which is again just nothing really unexpected. Doctor Capaldi changed stuff around so that when they unfroze time, it was right before the Christmas Armistice of 1914. Which is weird bc its like simultaneously showing that the world needs the Doctor to save people like Gatiss, but also showing that regular people, even soldiers in the midst of war, can be kind. Its a confusing message that tries to have its cake and eat it too. So see? This isn’t just me being upset that they didn’t focus on the stuff I would have. Its also me being upset with how they handled what they did choose to focus on. 

Capaldi’s last scenes, saying goodbye to the Testimony versions of his companions, and his last monologue, are as great as I could have wanted them to be. Both drag on for a bit and had some stuff that could have been left on the cutting room floor and we never would have missed it. Its very obvious that Jenna Coleman wasn’t able to be there on set with the other companions Capaldi says goodbye to. And the Doctor rambles a bit in his monologue about children being allowed to know his name, which isn’t very coherent. I guess that was the point. We’re not supposed to understand. But still. Cut that then. 

Then finally, Jodie Whitaker's first scene. Which is fine. Way too similar to Matt Smith’s first scene but with so much less dialogue. All she says is something like “Aw Brilliant!” which is instantly Doctor-ish. She’s great I love her. And then she stumbles around the exploding TARDIS set a bit before falling out of the ship entirely. Which again just makes me think of End of Time / Eleventh Hour. Like, I’ve seen this before but the character was given so much more room to breathe.  As I’ve said before, its not the female Doctor Im worried about, its Chris Chibnall not giving her anything interesting to do. This doesn’t change that at all. 

Small notes I didn’t know where else to put:

-I swear Capaldi gets emotional for a brief instant when First Doctor mentions Polly. Could be my imagination though since its not indicated at all by the dialogue he says.  -Gatiss getting sad when he’s told he’s from “World War I” is a nice touch. They really believed that their’s was the war to end all wars, the idea that humanity would do it again was so unthinkable and its depressing.  -I could be wrong but I dont think we’ve seen the date the Testimony was from before in Doctor Who, which is interesting because usually future humans with time travel tech coming back are usually from a specific time period in Moffat episodes. Weird that he didn’t stick to that in his last romp. -Rusty was kinda broken when the Doctor first found him. Howd he live for, what did the Doctor say? Thousands of years? MOFFAT JUST BC WE DIDNT SEE A CHARACTER DIE DOESNT MEAN THEY LIVE FOR THOUSANDS OF YEARS DANGIT. Also why was Rusty never a contender for the fulfillment of the Hybrid Prophecy if he lived that long? 

All in all, not the worst Moffat story, but far from his best. The message and point are obscured to the point of meaninglessness, but the emotion and characters are there, just not in as strong a force as they should be. :( 

[noheroes-allowed]

(edit: from 10-12am)

12/14 - 12/15, I keep having breakdowns and I definitely know why but at the same time I’m confused

also again, don’t read this lol I just wanna remember this in the future

so last night I was hanging out with Ally and Nana and I was having a lot of fun so I pushed back the meeting time by an hour but then he said he was gonna go out with his friends and wouldn’t be back for a few hours - I didn’t want him to go though bc I really wanted to see him plus I went all the way to the health center after my final to get supplies like they better be used - so I got kinda sad and started drinking with them

but it turned out to be really fun though like things happened like last time and I really wanted to dance and sing and I didn’t throw up which is always a plus

so I hung out with them for a long time and stayed up last night for him to get back to me when he’d be back and free, I got really sleepy at like 2 but he messaged me half an hour later

honestly I felt kinda upset though bc I always felt like he mattered more to me than I mattered to him, which is partly bc he’s my first everything and partly bc I think I feel /too/ much sometimes (always), and he didn’t seem that interested in me coming over

anyway I got there and he was super weird omg he was so hyper and talkative bc he was still drunk but it was really funny

like in the elevator he thought he lost his credit card and he kept saying he probably left it at the bar but it was in his back pocket the whole time, and then when we got to his place he got these nachos and ate them super quickly holy shit but he only ate half of the container BUT it was only for like 2 minutes that this was happening lol it was weirdddd, also he had like a little hop in his step or he would dance a little while walking idk it was funny

but I felt weird being normal around him while he was like that so I asked him for something to drink and I got buzzed (tbh who am I) and we fooled around

he said I gave the best —— he’s ever had

when I drink though, I have no filter and all my thoughts come out so when we were laying there I started saying how I felt, specifically how I wished I mattered more to him and how I wished he talked to me more and how we never do anything else and how I always ask first to see him, not the other way around, and how I want him to make me ——, and shit

he said I was special though and he does care about me, and we should do something else but I added that it’s too late now, and he does want to ask me first but I always beat him to it and it’s annoying that I do

I also said how cute he looked when I met him the first time

I asked him to sing and he sang some paper moon song but I didn’t like it so we switched to can’t help falling in love; we also talked about me making out with my friend and how he thought it was hot and she should come over sometime lol but he would focus on me

I woke up to him on the phone with a background investigator for his new job lol and the investigator wanted to meet up with him today but he didn’t go, he says apparently that he’s done some shit particularly hacking things that he shouldn’t have and he was stressed he wouldn’t be hired bc of the things he’s done

I distracted him

I was on my phone checking my grades and I got a 92 on my calc final!!!!!! and a 90.5 on my linear algebra final!!!!!! I’m so fucking happy I worked my ass off in calc especially!!!!! and tbh I kind of slacked on studying for my lin alg one but I pulled it off!!!! he was impressed hehe, he thinks I’m insanely smart which I don’t think is true I think I just work a lot to get where I want to be (I really really do and I don’t think people know and they just write it off as something inate and I hate that, give me the credit I deserve)

he told me how he used to try a lot freshman and sophomore year of high school but he didn’t junior and senior year but he did better then, and how he lowers teachers expectations in the beginning so doing what you’re actually supposed to do later is impressive to them

he made me quinoa which was so good I fucking love quinoa and he said he doesn’t know anyone else who likes it besides him and like same I don’t know anyone who likes it the way I do

we talked about the Friday before that when I made out with my friend and how we took off our shirts and I was wearing her bra and it was wild, and he asked what my friends thought of his pic (lol Vaani just liked to say he’s brown but he’s a cool one which is rare)

lol he also voice texted my mom and she was confused

we watched Aunty Donna and it’s always sunny clips and we talked about the associative property of multiplication for linear algebra and matrices

my friend thinks she’s a 7 when I think she’s a 9 and I was texting her about this and he said she’s probably a 6-6.5 and I got sad bc then I would be so much lower

he told me not to worry about it bc there are other things that factor into it

he said I was wilder and dirtier than he was freshman year, apparently his old friends are very conservative and believe the waiting until marriage thing which is interesting bc I don’t know many people who feel that way

he said he was tired and had a rough week bc he has seasonal depression and bc of the background check determining if he starts his career

I wish I told him I had (have? I don’t know what tense it should be bc it never goes away right?) depression quite recently but it’s weird to say out loud and even on here rn bc I feel like I don’t have the right to categorize or describe or legitimize how I felt the last two years as that when I was never truly diagnosed or anything sigh idk it’s just a problem I have like I don’t know if I can say I had/have depression and I’m rambling

we fell asleep and I had a dream we were at some park and we were on a ride that was like those weird mechanical character things that aren’t roller coaster you just sit and you go through the ride and watch things

anyway he jumped out of the ride but he didn’t get caught bc this other guy did it first and all the security were reprimanding that guy, and then the scene changed and we were gonna out to see some show but then he just wanted to stay in and we were just laying on the ground inside somewhere like it wasn’t his place or mine but my parents walked in and I freaked out so much even though we weren’t doing anything but there was alcohol around us I fucking woke myself up

we did things again

afterwards I got sad

we were talking about what I was saying last night, how I kept saying he mattered more to me than I did to him and he mostly said he didn’t pursue more bc he knew I was leaving

I told him I didn’t want to go and he asked if I meant today (lol he offered for me to stay while he works on his project with his friends and he’ll be back in a couple hours) or in general, it was both

I cried

he got a tissue and dabbed my face

I told him how I wanted to stay for multiple reasons, I didn’t want to start over at Cornell

he was really nice bc I kept saying I’m sorry (he kept asking what I was sorry for - I’m sorry for crying, I’m sorry you have to deal with me breaking down, I’m sorry I’m upset) for being like this (lbr he didn’t sign up for this lol) and he said it was good for me to talk it out instead of letting it fester and he really tried to console me like telling me I can still keep in contact with the people I met and how I’ll make new friends and have fun and such

I told him I’ll miss him bc he was my first everything and he said it’s better with the clean break and good terms instead of a long term relationship and bitter endings and bad memories, with us it’s just melancholy

he’s a really nice guy and I’ll miss him

he said I was always welcome back and could stay for a couple days at his place if I was on break

he kept asking if I’ll truly be okay after I stopped crying, it was so good and pure and sincere

I could’ve loved him

he makes me want to write again

we watched a Portal 2 video and he showed me his website and we went on each other’s Tinders

he saw how people asked for my number and asked if I ever met up with them, I told him I only met with 2 other guys and we were talking about it and he said he doesn’t get jealous (I do)

he told me to bring an overnight bag for Saturday

we ran into a security guard in the hallway and he asked if she always patrolled bc he never noticed and she said yeah all the time and he asked for what kinda things and she said for people having sex in the hallways and loud music and crazy college kids and fuck he’s so good at talking to people

there was a dog in the elevator

it snowed/hailed today and I didn’t even notice when we stepped outside lol, only when he threw snow at me

I tried to throw it back but it was hard to pick up and it melted in my hands but he had gloves on and kept doing it

it was fun

he’s really fun

we were talking about moving here as kids and English as a second language which is weird bc it’s technically the second language I learned but it’s my primary language and hm, he said he sometimes switches without noticing which wow I’ve never met anyone in real life who’s done that

we walked to the Atlantic building, it was cold and slippery

I’m tired, physically and emotionally

18, 20, 2-3, 9-10, 11-12, 14-15

I could have loved him

[weirdo-and-loser]

June 11,2017

W: I wanted to see you today That's it That's all I was trying to get across Manage your time Bc someday I'll be too busy to help you too 😕 And I'll be hanging out at your friends house until almost 11👌🏼 Since I'm already being petty; No response either ? I thought we both knew we had to earn each others' trust back and that's not how to do it I tried all day fighting annoyances and I'm still recovering from dropping pretty much all my pride to say everything last night so I'm sorry for wanting to know that meant something to you last night too You did not ask me to come over to YOUR house to help at all I was more than willing to go to YOUR house But that's not what you said Once I told you practice was over, you asked me to go to Theresa's nothing else I just wanted to go to your house If not coming to me Yes, you offered to come to my house bc I was watching old yeller But you also end up asking me if I could be dropped off. You will do what you want to do Idk if Theresa told you that at all But you will do what you want to do, and it's clear seeing me wasn't that important to you I'm trying to understand I really am I wasn't testing you at all, no mind games- I legitimately was just HOPING you'd come over when you finished at least one assignment or something But you can't just say you said something you didn't Then stay at another girls house until almost 11, and not text or anything It makes me uncomfortable and sad I could've done your homework while you cooked or folded your clothes and cleaned your room while you did anything else I wanted Quality time with you where we wanted to be with each other not out of wanting to have sex or do stuff L:1) I wanted to see you too. But I had to get my hw done. I wanted you to come over. But you were at practice. I need3d help instantly and from that moment on and you were at practice so I went to someone who i thought could help. 2) when you finally did get out of practice we started talking about how you were feeling and why practice was different for you. I NEEDED you to be able to drive and meet up with me at Theresa or my how house. But you said you couldn't drive. I have under a quarter tank of gas. So going to pick you up and get gas and drive back was going to take time and I was more worried about getting my homework done asap so i could see you and take care of everything else. You made no indication of being CAPABLE of driving anywhere regardless of destination so I wasn't going to try and convince you otherwise. YOU said you were fine you would be okay. So I wasn't worried about your well being and I was focused on finishing my work and getting back to everything else. Yes i offered to go to you. Yes i asked you to come to Theresas. And I didn't ask you to come to my house specifically. I wanted you to come over. But I also wanted to get my homework done. I'm sorry I didn't do any of the other things. I'm sorry i even went to Theresas to begin with. Im sorry i did anything. I'm sorry i made you uncomfortable. I'm sorry I didn't get to spend quality time wirh you today. I'm sorry i focused on everything else W:My well being is fine And I'm okay with doing everything you need to do, I'm sorry I didn't get that across Right now I'm just upset you stayed so late I don't care about you going to Theresa's I cared about the time of day/night And even if i didn't mind you staying over there, you stopped responding I didn't know how things were going, I didn't know if or when you were going home I'm genuinely sorry for coming off as I don't care about everything else you have to do &making it seem like I can't let you do anything I was just shocked you literally just got home so late and you weren't receiving that I was upset you stayed so late. I turned it into being upset about not seeing you at all today L:I'm sorry I didn't communicate i just wanted to finish my damn homework that was already frustrating enough W:I know... I know I'm a pain too It just sucks having to learn to trust each other when we've been there before &its hard to understand why it's so difficult to go back to it L:It's not difficult for me. It's not difficult at all. It's just more frustrating every time because for whatever reason happens it just seeMs that i keep lacking in something and i keep expecting something out of you. It's not difficult for me. W:Also, thank you for talking back 🙂 I know you're probably super upset about how I'm acting still but I'm honestly just happy with the progress from bother of us...Okay..well then it's difficult for me bc I'm just always scared you're not telling me everything I'm a paranoid hot mess who has low self esteem and is in physical pain from working my ass off but no one cared to notice But they'll notice people who don't dance or smile nearly as much as I do😐I just realized you might not think it's progress on my end... 🙁 But I believe it is bc I'm actually telling you that I'm happy you're speaking up And I re evaluated wtf I just did and apologized for it I know it shouldn't happen in the first place but... 🤷🏻‍♀️ I think that's good for one dayI'll still work harder at it though I promise 😓 I don't want to lose you. L:Just know tjat you dance amazingly and that you dont have to be paranoid with me. Just breathe. Relax. Try to calm your mind. I'm proud of you for your own personal progress. I'm happy that you can now spot what you're doing. That shows real progress in our relationship and reassures me you still care for this relationship. Try to rest up and sleep. That will bring you the best comfort

[survivormalibu]

RITES OF PASSAGE (JURY)

Allison

Oh my goodness. I legitimately loved every conversation that we had. I wish we could have worked together and made it not only a personal relationship, but also a game relationship. You keep slaying that marching band and show them how amazing you are. I hope to be able to see more of your shows because they’re great. Good luck in all that you do as a musician!!!!!

Andrew

I wish we were able to work together longer, but we just ended up on separate sides. Your vote was super stressful, and I’m sorry you had to go so soon because it was pretty cool getting to know you. I hope you get another chance soon.

Carson Nicholas

king, icon! you were one of my closest allies and I’m so upset that you aren’t here!!!!! what the heck!!! know that i will avenge you!!!

Allison

Luke!! My husband! I’m still rooting for you to win Westeros honestly. I love talking to you and you’re one of my favorite people. I would have loved to continue to work with you. Sorry I got messy that one tribal, but to be fair, y’all did flip on me. Sometimes I just have to be OTTNN5. I can’t wait to talk to you again, because I love you so much and you’re so much fun to talk to.

Andrew

Another case of working together but ending up on different sides. You are an icon and I lived for the shade you would throw, it kept the chats poppin and I was here for it tbh. Also I apologize on behalf of the entire cast and hosts for being active when it was like 4 in the morning for you. Idk how you do it but I respect it!

Carson Nicholas

we didn’t talk much besides when it was time to vote but you were pretty cool! i appreciate you voting me back into the game it was really nice of you and I’m sorry that you probably got voted out bc i am a mess

Allison

I wish I would have talked more to you personally rather than just relying on Brian as our go between. I really enjoyed all the conversations that we had and I hope that we talk after this game. Also apply for Hoenn because I want you to host you as a player because I really enjoyed the way you handled yourself in this game and I’d like to see you in a game where you don’t have an obvious duo to fall back on because I think you’re a really good player.

Andrew

Rocks are insane. And I’m glad I didn’t draw the wrong one. I’m sorry it had to be you but that was an extremely intense night where it actually wasn’t supposed to be you? But then rocks decided to be ugly.

Carson Nicholas

I AM SO UPSET WHAT THE HECK! YOU WERE MY SAVING GRACE ALLY THAT FELL FROM THE SKY AND I THOUGHT WE WERE GOING TO WORK OUT BUT THEN SHIT HIT THE FAN

FUCK yall

Allison

I honestly wish we had talked more. I just felt like we were never on the same page. We would only talk for votes and that’s not a way to make a game relationship. I’m sad we didn’t get to actually work together because you’re very smart strategically. I hope to be able to play with you again!

Andrew

I wish we were able to play together, but shit went down and it got messy. You calling me and the other people who voted you out to the resort rats gave me life, truly. I’m glad you fought as hard as you did to stay in this game, because it took a lot to get you out.

Carson Nicholas

aaaaaah king !!!!! i wish you were here tbh bc you were such a good ally and such a king. I’m so glad we decided to bring you back into the game with us and i wish we could have rocked it out until the end > : (

Allison

My actual son. Girl, if you hadn’t flipped on me we could have been solid. I love you so much. You’re honestly one of my favorite people and I’m so glad I got to play a game with you. We’ve been through a lot, but know that I love you as a person and I so badly wanted to play with you in this game and work together. Can’t wait to see you on the flip side!

Andrew

Brain Ravioli! I know you went through a pretty emotional rollercoaster this game, and I respect you for that. I know you had to go through rocks for like the 9th time which is a lot for you, and I know you had to see your best friend get eliminated, but I’m glad you stuck around as long as you did. Even though we ended up on opposite sides, it was fun playing with you and I hope we get to again soon because you know I love you!

Carson Nicholas

yikes sorry that i didn’t go to rocks for you, but like we barely talked and it just didn’t make sense to risk myself going home for someone who barely talked to me?? either way you were robbed plus i was a little drunk so rip

Allison

I LOVE YOU. Ahhh, talking to you was the best. I loved our Humaliwo calls and I hope we continue to talk after the game. I’m sorry I stopped messaging you, I just got really busy. It wasn’t anything to do with you flipping, it just was bad timing. I hope to talk to you more as my life is beginning to calm down. Thanks for playing Lazio and then still working with me after seeing that #mess.

Andrew

I didn’t know you at all before the game started, but I’m glad we got to meet! You’re a very cool person and I’m glad you made a point to not put these games on the personal level. Even though these games can get ugly sometimes and some people will put it on a personal level, I respect that you never really did that seeing as it can be hard at times.

Carson Nicholas

LEGEND, I think i voted for you at like 7 tribals in a  row but you never went home how iconic, I’m sad you aren’t here

Allison

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. You’re such an icon. I wanted so badly to be endgame with you, but once you flip on me in a game, it’s over. I’ve tried going back to people too many times and it just ends with me losing. If you had gone to the end with me, I would have lost, 100%. I really appreciated the conversations that we had at the end of the game. It was nothing personal, completely game and I really appreciate that in a person. Especially with someone I love, respect, and admire as much as you. I hope you understand why I had to vote you out, even if you don’t necessarily agree with it. Also, I’m sorry I lied to you, I was just doing what I needed to do to survive. Love you (heart)

Andrew

Damn. I wish we could have gotten to the end. But it was clear the Brains ended up getting a fracture early on in the merge. I know it was people just trying to make game moves, and it made the game that more intense, stressful, and fun to play all at the same time. I’m glad we got to play as long as we did, and I’m glad we got to become friendlier with each other after seeing one another in random chats throughout the community for like the last year. I hope we get to play again and just talk more because tbh you’re a real cool dood.

Carson Nicholas

i feEL SO BAD I FUCKED YOUR GAME UP AND RUINED EVERYTHING FOR YOU! you should have won this game and aaah i feel so guilty thanks for putting up with my dumb ass

Allison

I love you. Period. The end. I love how easily we clicked. I’m so happy that we ended up being on a tribe together. It was nice to actually get to talk to you, and not just talk through Billy. I loved that 50% of our bonding was over stupid people not knowing Science and the other 50% was reasons to yell at Billy. Honestly, I hope you at least somewhat stick around on skype because I love talking to you. Also, apply to Hoenn. Also, congratulations on tying Ricky for most votes against in one season, impressive with this being your first season. Thanks for being my resident goat and just voting however I told you to. You are wonderful and I can’t wait to see you on the flip side. I hope you consider playing another game and at least choose to be a little more active. :P

Andrew

Voting against alliance members when that’s all that’s left is annoying. And I wish it hadn’t had to be that way, but I had to do what I had to do. Also, Billy says your hot.

Carson Nicholas

we deadass never talked so I’m not sad you are gone but you seemed cool enough from our interactions in the tribe chat! best of luck with everything!