#i like hanbin as much as the next person but he’s just not really my type

[21shotglasses]

the amount of hanbins in the kpop industry is slowly increasing. at first it was just ikon hanbin, then the greatly loved iland and then tempest hanbin. and now there are two hanbins in boys planet which i’m positive at least one will make it into the group. these rankings are changing fast but people have loved sung hanbin since the beginning and i think he’s probably gonna get in.

[cloudbersoo]

would you mind?｜zhang hao

synopsis: how to get over a guy you didn’t even date in ten easy steps with the help of zhang hao.

tags: zhang hao x gn!reader, acquaintances to lovers, university au, fluff, slight angst, y/n likes someone else at the beginning, y/n is very drunk, making out when drunk, shy!hao, bestie!matthew has no filter, roommate!taerae, hanbin keeps laughing, what did jiwoong do though? y/n overthinks a little sometimes, mentions of sex and implied sex but no explicit smut! (im a minor and can’t write smut for the life of me)

word count: 6k (how did this get so long?)

a/n: this is my first fic in like six years and the first in english altogether! idk how to feel about this one but i thought to post it anyway. writing this honestly made me respect fanfic writers so much more, it really isn’t easy! this took me like five days to make. not sure how often i’ll be doing this but i enjoyed writing a lot. sorry for any grammar errors or such, i proofread this a couple of times, but my english isn’t perfect, so some mistakes might go past me. anyway, thanks and sorry! enjoy reading!

my playlist while writing: in bloom & new kidz on the block by zb1, cream soda & private party by exo, roller coaster & party o’clock by nmixx !!

i. drink your feelings away

“finally you’re here” matthew mumbled in his slightly drunken stage, leaning onto a wall as you closed the door behind you. you could hear the music and people’s chatter coming from the living room. the smell of alcohol was also very strong, especially on your friend. you wished you could just turn back and go home. you were way too miserable to party right now but the sweet smile matthew was giving you was making you stay. you couldn’t possibly disappoint your best friend on his special day.

“yeah, sorry for being late” you finally answered to the birthday boy as you handed out your gift with a forced smile. “happy birthday matt.” 

he took the bottle of wine and chuckled. “thank you y/n” he said, looking at the bottle of his favourite. “for this and for coming tonight” he continued as he raised his gaze to you apologetically. 

“of course” you uttered, trying your best to convince your friend you wanted to be here, as if you didn’t just think about leaving two seconds ago. your convincing didn’t seem to be working as matthew sighed. matthew put down the bottle and walked in front of you. he examined your face for a while before he embraced you in a hug. “he didn’t deserve you anyway” he whispered close to your ear.

right.

jaemin.

the guy who broke your heart just a few days ago. he didn’t mean to, you suppose. he just didn’t realise you were totally in love with him when he introduced you to his partner of three years. how stupid could you be?

you held your tiers in at the mention of him. not today. you can cry about it later. 

you embraced your friend for a while as you collected yourself. “you know what matt?” You finally spoke as you made eye contact with him. matthew hummed, looking at you with anticipation. 

“i’m going to have fun tonight.”

ii. embarrass yourself

about five bottles of soju and a couple beers later you were completely out of it. you were somewhere in matthew’s apartment, kitchen or living room, you were not entirely sure. laying on the cold floor with zero thoughts of your shattered heart. you felt at peace. your peace, however, didn’t last long as it was eventually broken by a familiar voice calling your name. 

“y/n? you okay down there?” the voice asked with amusement. you opened your eyes and were met with hanbin’s gaze from above you. he must have found your state hilarious as he bursted out laughing. 

you got up from the floor with difficulty and flopped next to him on the couch. “never been better” you mumbled to your friend with a relaxed smile. you started making yourself comfortable and leaned your head on hanbin’s shoulder. what you failed to notice in your drunken state was the other person sitting on the couch. the one you were currently cuddling up to.

“hao” your friend started. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen y/n so wasted” hanbin laughed with tears in his eyes. 

what. 

suddenly, you were too aware of your surroundings, like there was no alcohol in your system anymore. you quickly got up and saw that hanbin was not in fact the person you had leaned into. the person sitting next to you was hanbin’s good friend, zhang hao. the boy’s face flushed as he looked at your shocked face.

oh my god.

you were not that familiar with zhang hao. you knew he was good friends with hanbin and matthew. he was from the music department just like your roommate taerae, and you were pretty sure he played the violin. he was reserved and quiet, and definitely not the most fond of you (even though your friends have tried to convince you otherwise). a friend of a friend. that’s what he was. not someone who you could comfortably cuddle with. this is so embarrassing.

“i’m so sorry!” you quickly blurted out as you hid your face behind your palms. you could still hear hanbin’s laugh as you were thinking about your way out of the situation. 

“it’s o-okay” zhang hao managed to stutter. you were in too deep thought to hear what the boy in front of you was saying. you searched for your other friend in the crowd. it’s time for me to leave. as you found matthew by the balcony with a girl, you turned back to the men on the couch. “i’m just gonna go!” you quickly said to prevent any more embarrassment and made your way to your best friend.

he saw you coming from afar and smirked at you. “you’ve definitely enjoyed yourself” matthew said delightfully. oh. he definitely saw everything.

“you saw nothing” you bit back and leaned onto your friend as the alcohol started to kick back in again. “i’m going home” you continued. could you even walk straight? no. but you could just call your roommate to meet you halfway.

“in this state? no you’re not” the boy slurred just as drunk as you were. he wrapped his arm around your shoulder in an attempt to keep you from leaving. you were glad your friend cared about your safety even when he was drunk. his company, however, was not enjoying the sight in front of her and you could tell you had interrupted something. 

“i’ll call taerae to pick me up, don’t worry.” you assured your friend. “i’ll leave you two alone now.” you gave a smile to the girl and mouthed “sorry” as you left the two before matthew could protest any further.

iii. make a foolish choice

walking down four sets of stairs with your hands occupied by your phone was a challenge. you somehow made it though and were trying to contact your roommate. he was not answering. where is he? your apartment wasn’t that far from matthew’s but the darkness was creeping you out a little. you sent a quick text to taerae, saying you were coming home before you started your journey. 

you had made it past a couple turns when you started feeling like someone was following you. you’re just being paranoid, that's all. but the feeling only grew stronger as you clearly heard footsteps behind you. you were already walking as fast as you could in your state. is this the end?  “i’m gonna die-”

“y/n,” you quickly turned around to the familiar voice. 

zhang hao.

“oh it’s just you” you said as you relaxed until it hit you. zhang hao. the reason why you had run away from the party in the first place. your surprise finally showed on your face, which zhang hao found amusing. 

"sorry if I scared you” he let out an airy laugh while awkwardly standing in front of you. for some reason you had never really looked at the boy. he was tall and his hair was still styled nicely even after a long day. he was wearing a light blue button up shirt with black jeans that seemed way out of your price range. there was something about the way he was looking at you under the glow of the streetlights. he was looking at you with stars in his eyes, like there was no one else but the two of you in the world. the sight of him almost made your heart skip a beat. he had a few moles on his face, one right under his eye and another on his cheek that you wish you could kiss right now. has he always been this pretty? 

no. why is he here? 

he tried to give you a reassuring smile as he took a step closer. “you shouldn’t walk alone at this hour, it’s not safe for you.” he continued like he had just read your mind.

“so you think I'm safe with you?” you asked, slightly teasing. it was definitely the alcohol speaking.

the boy’s eyes widened in shock and he opened his mouth to say something but failed. “well- I mean” zhang hao finally responded with panic, not quite sure what he was supposed to say. you couldn’t hold your giggles which seemed to ease his nerves. his figure seemed to relax as he walked past you. “my apartment isn’t that far from yours, so we can just walk together. it’s safer for both of us.” zhang hao finished. 

lies. you’ve once picked hanbin up from his apartment and it's nowhere near yours. however, zhang hao didn’t need to know that you knew. you wouldn’t mind walking home with him even if the two of you weren’t that close, because he was right – this was safer (not because he suddenly made you think of things you haven't before).

so, the two of you continued walking towards your place. zhang hao didn’t say much as you walked, only telling you to be more careful as you almost stumbled to the ground. he also decided to hold you up from your waist from that point on – which you definitely didn’t mind. he didn’t seem to mind either as there was no signs of annoyance that you would’ve except from zhang hao in this situation.  

“we’re here” he said as the two of you stood in front of your apartment building. you really didn’t want him to go. you really didn’t want to be alone at all. because you knew the moment you were alone again you’d break down again and cry about the guy who broke your heart. just for this one night, you wished not to cry yourself to sleep. maybe it was foolish of you to ask zhang hao of all people to comfort you, but right now you couldn’t think of anything else. 

“would you like to come in?”

“do you need help to get to your door?”

you both had talked at the same time. you broke eye contact as the two of you chuckled. so he didn’t want to leave yet either? as it got quiet again you decided to look at the boy again. zhang hao seemed hesitant as he studied your face. then he smiled at you as he said “if that’s what you need.”

iv. get cockbocked by a roommate

some might find the silence between you and zhang hao awkward, but you found it soothing. he was drinking the water you had given him as you sat on the kitchen counter. he looked even more handsome up close. the way he was leaning onto the counter and the way he was looking at you. oh, how much you wished to make him yours tonight. would he mind? 

your mind stopped wandering as the boy put down his glass on the sink. “i should probably go and let you sleep” he said quietly as he stood in front of you. he was incredibly close to you, his hand on your knee, his nose almost touching yours – like he didn’t want to leave. you couldn’t help but lower your gaze to his lips. they were pink and puffy, slightly wet like they were waiting to be kissed. you looked back to zhang hao’s eyes but they didn’t meet yours. he was doing the same thing – staring at your lips. 

maybe you were going to regret it. maybe this wasn’t right, kissing your friends’ friend. but you couldn’t possibly think about any of that as you leaned in. 

his lips felt as soft as they looked. it took a moment for zhang hao to realise what was happening but eventually he kissed you back. his left hand landed on your cheek as his right hand went up your thigh. the kiss deepened as you put your hands around the boy's neck, pulling him closer to you. you don’t remember the last time you have been kissed like this. he was driving you insane and you wished he’d never stop. 

“y/n?” you hear a voice say at the door. 

taerae.

you and zhang hao froze before you rapidly let go of each other. sleepy taerae rubbed his eyes walking into the kitchen as you tried to calm your beating heart. so he didn’t answer because he was asleep. you took a look at zhang hao who’s blush was prominent even in the dark. “when did you get home?” your roommate asked as he yawned.

“zhang hao walked me, i was just giving him some water before he left.” you blurted out an excuse, which wasn’t inherently a lie – taerae didn’t need to know what happened after that. your sleepy roommate didn’t look suspicious and seemed to buy it. “he was actually just about to leave.” you took another look at zhang hao, trying to get him to say something. 

“yeah, i’ll just get going then.” he said, bid taerae goodbye, and was out of the apartment in mere minutes. 

fuck.

v. overthink your life choices

lunch used to be your favourite time of the day, mostly because you used to share it with jaemin all the time. matthew barely ever had time to eat lunch with you, which is how you got to know jaemin in the first place. the two of you clicked instantly and you thought there was something between you. how wrong you were. the past week you have been distancing yourself from jaemin and he hasn't been asking after you. you really meant nothing to him in the end. even now he’s just a few tables away loudly debating about something with his group of friends, completely unaware of the effect he has had on you.

taerae’s giggles seem to wake you from your slumber. you moved your gaze from jaemin to your roommate. he was laughing over a video hanbin had just shown him. “what is jiwoong doing?” he managed to say between giggles. 

“speaking of the devil” hanbin said as he waved past your shoulder. jiwoong walked to your table with zhang hao next to him, which was odd as the two of you’ve had a similar relationship with the chinese boy up until a few days ago (unless jiwoong had also been making out with him recently). “what did i do?” jiwoong questioned his friends as he placed his lunch on the table.

“nothing, nothing. where’s matthew?” hanbin said as he hid his phone with a grin.

“he’s on a date” you said nonchalantly. everyone at the table suddenly turned their heads towards you. they had totally forgotten you were even there as you had spent most of your break staring at a certain someone. you should get your shit together.

“oh right, zhang hao! thanks for walking y/n home the other night.” taerae said as zhang hao sat next to hanbin. well shit. you hadn’t told anyone of what had happened with zhang hao after matthew’s party. you hadn’t even talked to zhang hao since then. you felt awful that you had tried to use him to forget about someone else, and then kicked him out as your roommate found the two of you. you weren’t sure how you were supposed to even bring it up to him when you were never alone with him anyway. 

“you walked her home?” hanbin questioned as he turned his head to his left where zhang hao was sitting. the boy only gave his friend a small nod as he dug into his food. his aura seemed so different in the daylight. his hair wasn’t styled like at the party, it was a bit all over the place. the way he stuffed his mouth full of food made him look cute. his cheeks were slightly pink with blush. while observing the boy, you had completely missed the teasing smile on hanbin’s face.

how were you supposed to talk to him? thanks for walking me home and making out with me in my kitchen. does he even want to talk about it? the two of you had seen each other around campus a couple times since then and he hasn't tried to talk to you once. maybe all of it was just a spur of the moment thing for him that he now wished to forget about.

you sighed as you decided it was your time to leave for class. there was no way you were going to talk to zhang hao now anyway, not in front of all your friends. “my lecture is starting soon, i’ll go now.” you said as you stood up. taking your things with you and hearing people say their goodbyes, you were on your way.

“wait, are we just going to ignore the fact that matthew is on a date?” you could hear jiwoong ask behind you.

vi. get help

“so…” matthew said in a teasing tone as he sat across from you at the library. 

“so, what?” you questioned, like you had no idea what your best friend was referring to. well, in your defence, you never knew with matthew, but you had a feeling this conversation topic started with a z and ended with hang hao. “you and hao?” he continued, just like you had anticipated, raising his eyebrows. 

“what about me and zhang hao?” you continued, acting clueless in the hopes of him dropping the conversation. 

“after what i saw at my birthday party and then hearing he walked you home, i hoped the two of you worked out the weird tension between you two and finally fucked” your friend blurted out in a very matthew way, like it was the most obvious conclusion to come to in the world. 

“we did not!” you raised your voice a little too much as you tried to defend yourself. you got a few judging stares from the people around you who were trying to study. something you were supposed to do as well, instead of having this conversation about zhang hao. “we didn’t fuck…” you continued more quietly. there was no reason for you to lie to your best friend. not when you could use his help.

“but you were going to?” he gave you a knowing look.

“well yeah, but then taerae woke up and i panicked and i kinda kicked zhang hao out-” you started rambling. wait. “how did you know we almost fucked? did he talk to you? what did he say? does he totally hate me now?” you continued like you were going to lose your mind. and now matthew was laughing at you, trying his best to stay quiet. 

“i haven’t talked to anyone, except hanbin, he’s just as convinced there’s something going on between you and hao as i am” your friend finally spoke. if only you knew what was going on between the two of you. you sighed and hit your head on the table. “what’s the problem y/n? you know, you could just text him and ask him" matthew said.

“i don’t have his number” you mumble in despair. 

“what? how can you not have his number?” matthew asked, confused.

“why would i? was i supposed to ask for it when we were making out or something?” you said as you lifted your head from the table, looking at your friend who definitely didn’t need to hear any more details of that night.

matthew took his phone out of his pocket, and gave it to you after a moment. “here, take his number and text him”

vii. become friends

you were currently sitting down at a park you had agreed to meet with zhang hao. matthew was able to convince you it was better to sort things out with zhang hao sooner than later. but now that you were here, waiting for the guy, you couldn’t help but feel nervous. it was warm as summer was finally coming and you felt like you were sweating buckets. was it the weather or your nerves – you were not quite sure.

“hi, did you have to wait long?” you hear a familiar voice from your left and see zhang hao’s figure coming towards you. he waved at you while giving you a sweet smile. damn. he’s so pretty. 

“oh no, not at all” you answered, trying to give the boy a smile to hide your nervousness. 

“what did you want to talk about?” zhang hao said calmly as he sat down next to you. unlike the other night, now he had left much space between the two of you. he didn’t seem nervous at all, which made you feel uneasy. maybe this wasn’t as big of a deal for him as it was for you. 

“at matt’s party, i’m sorry for being such a mess and dragging you into it” you decided to tell him. “i had a few too many drinks that night.” you took a look at zhang hao. he seemed surprised, maybe a little hurt as he tried to get comfortable on the bench. was that not the right thing to say?  “i mean, i probably made you uncomfortable and then i rushed you out of my place when taerae woke up, it was super rude of me to-” you were starting to ramble. 

“i wasn’t uncomfortable” he cut you off. he finally turned to look at you again “i wouldn’t have come in if i was.” there was the look again, making your heart beat louder on your chest. he was looking at you like he did under the streetlights, like you were the only person in the world that mattered. you wouldn’t mind getting lost in his eyes. “so don’t be too sorry, i enjoyed it as long as it lasted.” he gave you a shy smile.

oh.

this was the first time the boy had made you blush, usually it was the other way around. you broke eye contact to hide your shyness from him. “cool, cool” you started quite awkwardly. “we should probably be casual about all this, since we're friends and all…”

“we’re friends now? i’m cool with that” zhang hao replied with amusement.

“i mean, we’ve known each other long enough to call us that, i guess” you tried to reason, not realising your friend was only teasing you. as you turned your gaze back to him you saw him still smiling at you. this man will be the death of me. “well that’s that. sorry i can’t stay longer, i have places to be. bye zhang hao.” you said as you got up from the bench. you had nowhere to be, but you couldn’t possibly handle being in zhang hao’s presence any longer. 

“bye friend!” he yelled after you still with a teasing tone.

viii. feel nothing

you and your new friend zhang hao have gotten along well since your talk at the park. nothing has changed that much, except now you greet each other at campus, engage in conversation together, and sometimes share memes with each other. you have tried to convince matthew that you and zhang hao are really just friends and nothing more. matthew just can’t help himself when he teases you with kissy noises every time you interact with zhang hao. he’s the only other person that knows about your little secret. even hanbin doesn’t know, because if he did — everyone would. 

you were finally finished with your last class of the day, walking out of your department building. you felt at ease as everything in your life was finally going well. you were able to sort things out with zhang hao, you weren’t particularly struggling with any classes, and you were barely thinking about him, who shall not be named. 

as if on cue, there he was standing a few meters away from you. jaemin. he wasn’t alone though, as he was having a conversation with someone. you couldn’t quite tell what the two were talking about, not that really even mattered to you. contrary to popular belief, your heart no longer ached at the sight of him. you continued your journey with no intent to interact with jaemin, at least not until you realised who exactly he was talking with. when you were close enough you could recognize the other man’s voice.

what was zhang hao doing with jaemin? the sight in front of you felt really odd, but you couldn’t possibly look away. zhang hao almost towered over jaemin, paying attention to what the latter was talking about. he was wearing glasses that complimented his face well. one of his sleeves was rolled up revealing his toned arm. he looked so mesmerising, you couldn't help but stare.

it didn’t take long for you to be caught staring as jaemin called out your name. “wow it’s been so long. how have you been?” he asked happily as you took a few steps closer to the two. zhang hao was surprised to see you, his gaze moving between you and jaemin. his face filled with worry made you think he must have heard about jaemin and you from someone (definitely not from hanbin). you gave zhang hao a reassuring smile as you greeted jaemin, who was ready to embrace you in a hug. 

“i’ve been well” you sounded a little awkward as the two of you let go. an act that used to make your heart do backflips no longer felt like anything. “what were you two talking about? i didn’t know you even knew each other.” you asked out of curiosity as you stood next to zhang hao, who suddenly put his arm around your shoulder. you turned your head towards your friend, trying to understand what he was up to. 

“we’ve shared a few classes here and there” zhang hao said as he turned his head to face you. he was so close to you again, making your heart beat louder on your chest. “you’re ready to go?” he continued. you could only show your confusion on your face as you didn’t trust your voice to say anything at the close proximity. “dinner? remember?” he gave you a wink.

what? you were completely lost. what was this man talking about? 

“oooh, date night?” jaemin cooed in front of you. he took his headphones out of his back and put them over his ears. “i won't waste your time anymore then. y/n we should totally catch up sometime!” he didn’t wait for your response before he left. 

you and zhang hao stayed close to each other in silence for a while. you wondered if he could hear the way your heart was beating for him. you tried to look for answers from his face but to no avail. finally, zhang hao moved and removed his hand off of you, what had felt like way too soon. “sorry” he said as he stood in front of you. “you must have felt awkward seeing him” he continued, scratching the back of his neck. 

“did you do all that to get rid of him? i’m fine, i don’t like him like that anymore” you felt the need to clarify to him.

“oh” he said, blush breaking to his face and neck. “well, i was getting tired of him anyway” he excused and removed his gaze from you to hide his embarrassment. you thought he looked the cutest whenever he got shy or embarrassed. 

your laugh seemed to peak his interest again, as he turned his gaze back on you. your blushing face, matching his own. a comfortable silence fell between you again. ”just friends huh?” you could hear matthew’s teasing voice in your head.

“y/n?” zhang hao eventually spoke. you hummed as a response, waiting him to carry on. “have you eaten yet?” the boy continued hesitantly. 

“no, not yet” you answered truthfully, not quite sure where the conversation was going. zhang hao stayed quiet for a while. he was nervously shifting on his place, turning his face away from you once again. he was trying to find the right way to ask you.

“would you like to go out for dinner then?” he asked carefully. 

“sure!” you answered enthusiastically. you were starving at this point and wouldn’t mind spending some time with friends as well. “who else is coming?” 

“well, i thought it could be just us…” the boy responded, still not daring to look at you. 

oh.

“oh! that works too. sure. yeah.” you replied, definitely not embarrassed that you didn’t get the hint right away. “does indian sound good to you? i’m craving butter chicken” you continued, trying to move the conversation onwards, while your heart kept beating hard against your chest. 

“if that’s what you want, it’s good with me” zhang hao said and the two of you started your way out of campus, both a blushing mess.

ix. feel everything

you were not entirely sure what to think. had you just been on a date? zhang hao didn’t explicitly call it that, but it surely had felt like one. the dinner went smoothly, it didn’t feel awkward and the two of you were able to talk to each other comfortably. he constantly smiled at you and asked you questions about your life, putting the effort into getting to know you. he even insisted on paying for your meal in the end. 

you got to know things about him as well, as zhang hao no longer felt shy talking to you. he’s an only child and very close with his mom. he chose to play the violin, because it’s much easier to carry around compared to a cello. him and jiwoong have gotten closer lately because jiwoong had asked him to help him with a song he has been working on. he also revealed that he was glad that the two of you have gotten closer, which made you question things even more.

you were walking to your apartment in silence, completely sober this time. zhang hao had insisted on walking you home again, “as a man should” he had said. the way his hand was accidentally brushing against yours every once in a while was giving you butterflies in your stomach. you were not entirely sure if the man next to you even realises how much of an effect he had on you. you weren’t walking that fast because you really didn’t want the night to end. 

must to your dismay, you ended up in front of your apartment building. it felt like deja vu, standing in front of him again. you didn’t want zhang hao to leave, but you weren’t sure if it was appropriate to invite him in. you couldn't hide behind the confidence alcohol had given you last time. you didn't know what to say, so you settled on just staring at his face, completely mesmerised. he was doing the same, his gaze wandering on your face, like he was trying to remember each little detail of you. 

“i should…” zhang hao started, now looking straight into your eyes. “i should probably go now” he continued, not at all convincing. he made no effort to move, which finally gave you the confidence to talk. it won’t hurt to ask, right?

“i could offer you a glass of water before you go” you said, tearing your gaze away, still slightly scared of what he might answer. “you know, taerae’s not home tonight…” you added. as you heard no answer from the boy, you hesitantly took a look at him. he was smiling at you again, the way he had been all dinner. 

zhang hao took a step closer, raising his hand to hold your chin, making you hold eye contact with him. he lowered his gaze slowly to your lips, looking at you like you were someone to be desired. “you sure?” he finally spoke in a lower voice, still staring at your lips. you could only hum in response. and then he leaned in to kiss you. 

his lips were soft, but he pushed them hard against yours. he tasted like cherries as you kissed him back. the kiss deepened quickly as his tongue pushed past your lips. his arms lowered to your hips, pulling you closer, as you put yours behind his neck, playing with his hair. you didn’t stop until you both were almost running out of air.

zhang hao let out an airy laugh. “i’ve wanted to do that for a while” he confessed, your arms still tangled around each other. he was looking at you with so much adoration.

“yeah? me too” you smiled, your cheeks slightly pink. you let go of the boy to open the door to your apartment building. he held onto your arm as the two of you walked towards the elevator. you turned to look at zhang hao, who’s cheeks were a shade of pink as well. he noticed you staring and gave you another sweet smile. the door finally opened, and he couldn’t even wait till you got to your apartment, as he stole another kiss from you as you entered the elevator.

“i honestly thought you didn’t like me at all” you admitted to him as you parted from the kiss.

“that’s what hanbin always told me” zhang hao answered, now with a pout on his lips. “i was just too shy to talk to you, you’re like the most gorgeous person i’ve ever laid my eyes on” he continued, no longer daring to look you in the eye. even he seemed a little surprised by his sudden confession. 

oh. 

you’ve received compliments before, but hearing one from zhang hao felt different. your cheeks heated up again, and you could feel your excitement all the way down on your stomach. you wanted him so badly, you could only wish he felt the same way. when the elevator stopped, you decided to quickly peck the boy's cheek before you dragged him to your apartment.

once the door to your apartment closed behind you, you were all over each other. his lips connected with yours as your arms roamed all over your bodies. you couldn’t get enough of him, wanting him even closer to you. you stumbled over to your bedroom, where you gave him one more kiss before backing away.

zhang hao looked at you with concern. “are you okay?” he asked while still holding you closely.

“yeah, i just- i want to make sure you want this as much i do” you answered, studying his face for any signs of regret or hesitation. 

“i really like you y/n, and i want this more than you think” he admitted. he detached one of his hands from you to remove his glasses out of the way, putting them down to your nightstand. he lowered his hand on your cheek, cherishing it gently. “let me show you just how much you mean to me.”

so you let him, as you kissed him again.

x. fall in love

you were still out of breath as you cuddled up to zhang hao’s bare body. he wrapped his hand around you and squeezed you closer to him, twirling your hair with his fingers. you laid your head against his chest, drawing circles on his toned body, sighing with content. you felt zhang hao’s lips against your forehead, giving you a peck after peck. the act made you giggle, turning your gaze to him.

“what?” you asked.

“nothing, i’m just really happy” he answered, giving you one more kiss on your lips. he looked at you with so much love and warmth, which made you feel like you were dreaming. you couldn’t help but wonder what made you deserve to meet someone like zhang hao. no one has made you feel this good in such a long time, if ever. suddenly, very overwhelmed with your feelings, you hid your face on the crook of his neck.

you felt zhang hao’s chest vibrate from the laughter he let out. “cute” he whispered quietly, mostly to just himself, cherishing your head again. you got comfortable again, almost falling asleep in his embrace. his breath also evening out as he was slowly drifting away to sleep too.

“i really like you too, zhang hao” you sleepily mumbled against his skin, before the two of you fell into dreamland together.

- end

bonus:

“why do you always call me zhang hao?”

“maybe because it’s your name??”

“yes, but everyone calls me hao. you’re the only one who calls me zhang hao”

“oh”

“well, hao, i’ll call you that from now on”

the boy’s face flushed red as he finally heard you say his name. 

“oh my god, you’re so cute!” 

he turns his face to hide his blush from you.

“shut up”

[foreverbase1]

part of his world ❣ Sung Hanbin

❥𝐏𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: delinquent!Sung Hanbin x topstudent!fem!reader

❥𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐂𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 2.9k

❥𝐆𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: Fluff, High School AU, Delinquent x Top Student

❥𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: mentions of blood, mentions of food, pet names, swearing, gets pretty cringe-y near the end

❥𝐒𝐨𝐧𝐠: part of his world by Sad Alex

❥𝐅𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: ZB1 Park Gunwook

❥𝐒𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬: Reader is the top student of her school and class, and despite originally disliking Hanbin, Reader ends up falling for him after fate decides to pull the two together.

𝐓𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐢𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐨𝐟𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝, 𝐬𝐨𝐫𝐫𝐲 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫 𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐬! <𝟑

"𝙃𝙚'𝙨 𝙜𝙤𝙩 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙨𝙬𝙚𝙚𝙩 𝙢𝙮𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙮"

You don't know when it started, or how it happened, but if someone told you that you; the top student of not only your class but your entire school and the perfect role model for students in lower grades. That you would catch feelings for the delinquent student in your class, you'd call them crazy.

But no matter how much you tried to deny it, you couldn't help but catch feelings for him. 𝘚𝘶𝘯𝘨 𝘏𝘢𝘯𝘣𝘪𝘯. Everyone was weary of him, scared of him even. He never listened in class, opting to either cause trouble with the teacher or sleep the class away, he was always getting into fights that caused him to end up in the nurse's office. It's a wonder how they hadn't expelled him yet.

You originally disliked Sung Hanbin, how could you not, with everything you heard about him and seeing his actions you declared him a bad person, someone to stay away from otherwise it could tarnish your chance at a good future. But it's funny how life just seemed to constantly pull you two together, and because of it, here you are now. In love with the delinquent student that just a few weeks ago, you swore to stay away from.

"𝙏𝙝𝙧𝙤𝙬𝙨 𝙢𝙚 𝙤𝙛𝙛, 𝙡𝙞𝙠𝙚 𝙄'𝙫𝙚 𝙜𝙤𝙩 𝙩𝙬𝙤 𝙡𝙚𝙛𝙩 𝙛𝙚𝙚𝙩"

It all started when your teacher tasked you with tutoring a student, and you agreed. Because it'd be nice to help another student out, especially considering you didn't wanna drown yourself away by just studying every day. But that was the first time you interacted with Sung Hanbin and got a taste of his personality.

"Hi miss, you wanted to ask me something?" You stood in front of your teacher's desk, the older woman smiling up at you. "Ah yes, say Y/N, would you be interested in helping a student out by tutoring them? They are currently falling behind in my class and i would like them to catch up. And since you're the top student of our school, i couldn't think of a more suitable student!" She laughed as she finished her sentence, earning a smile from you.

"I'd love too, when do you want me to start tutoring them?" You asked, fixing your clothes by straightening them out a bit. This was exciting for you, of course, you had a ton of friends but you always chose to stay inside and study. It's what your parents wanted after all, they just wanted a bright future for you and you wanted to make them proud. And having you tutoring someone means you can make your record look much more appealing as well.

"If you aren't doing anything today, i can ask them to meet you in the library after school?" She suggested, and you nodded. After all, you didn't actually have anything to do besides study. "That's perfect, thank you miss" You thanked her again and said your goodbyes before attending your next class, much more eager to meet this student.

Inside the library, you found a nice desk tucked away in a corner and began to place your necessary materials and supplies to tutor this mystery student you were eager to meet. You didn't really mind if it was a boy or a girl, just glad that you had something to preoccupy your time after school now.

Humming to yourself happily, you heard the library door open and close, followed by muffled, distant voices. You couldn't make out who one of the voices was, but you could recognize the librarian's voice. Then when you heard footsteps approaching, followed by a bag dropping to the floor in the chair across from you, you looked up. Eyes locking with Sung Hanbin.

You internally groaned and cried, feeling your heart drop. "Really? Sung Hanbin......." You thought to yourself, wanting to shrivel up and die right on the spot. You should've guessed it would be him, after all, he didn't exactly pay attention in classes and his grades weren't the best.

"I'm tutoring you?" You said blankly, staring up at him. Hanbin nodded his head, taking a seat in the chair across from you. Regret started bubbling up in your chest, now you were stuck having to tutor the school's troublemaker every week. But you thought that as long as you limited interactions with him, you could make it through this and never speak to him again! Yes, that's what you'd do.

Oh you couldn't have been more wrong. You started seeing Hanbin outside your tutoring sessions, specifically outside of school, the convenience store you frequented in your free time to get snacks and other treats was now a hotspot to see him.

A groan found its way past your lips as you opened the doors of the convenience store, eyes landing on a familiar face. "Seriously, why is he everywhere" You mumbled to yourself, choosing to avoid him. But it's like fate had other plans, because when you turned a corner to enter another aisle, when you came face to face with him.

"Oh, hi" Hanbin said, looking at you. You could tell he looked a bit surprised to see you there, while your face showed a look of annoyance. "Hi, what are you doing here?" You asked, not really caring if you came off as rude.

Hanbin sighed, he was used to snide remarks and judging gazes. He was well aware of his status throughout the school, but chose to ignore it all anyway, cause in the end he didn't really care. But coming from you, someone who was so nice to everyone else except him, it made him feel a little different.

"The convenience store near me was closed for the day due to an accident, so, i had to come to the closest one nearby. And it was this one" He explained to you, looking down at the bag he was carrying. You noticed a tiny glimmer of sadness behind that tough exterior, and it made you feel bad.

So far your interactions up to now with Hanbin haven't been bad, the rumors around him were that he was always rude, he got into fights a lot and he was just never caring. But your interactions with him proved that wrong, well, maybe not the fighting part, but him being rude and never caring was definitely false.

During your tutoring sessions, Hanbin always made sure to swap seats with you, that way the sun from the window wouldn't be disturbing you as you taught him the different subjects. Or that time where Hanbin had stayed up the entire night before studying so that your tutoring sessions wouldn't be as difficult.

"Would....would you like to eat lunch with me?" You asked, holding up the items in your hands that you had yet to pay for, and Hanbin thought about it for a second before nodding his head. "Sure" He said, giving you a small smile.

"𝙎𝙤 𝙡𝙤𝙣𝙜, 𝙨𝙞𝙣𝙘𝙚 𝙄 𝙝𝙖𝙫𝙚 𝙛𝙚𝙡𝙩 𝙨𝙤𝙢𝙚𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙡𝙞𝙠𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙨"

After that day, you started spending more time with Hanbin even inside school. You'd always ask him to eat lunch with you, so that he wouldn't be alone. Inviting him to study with you and your group of friends, so that he could catch up on stuff you might not have time to teach him during your tutoring sessions.

You two quickly became the talk of the entire school, amongst multiple different classes. "Why is Y/N with him, won't that tarnish her record?" "I heard she's tutoring him now" "What if he's threatening her?" "Oh my god, what if they're dating?". Mainly just baseless rumors.

This was also when you started catching feelings for him. It was the little things he did to show his appreciation for your kindness, proving that the tough exterior he always put on was nothing more than a facade. He'd always buy your favorite snacks for you, walk you home after school, give you his jacket if you got cold and did i already mention the part about him making sure the sun never got in your eyes and disturbed you from working?

The last time you felt like this with someone was with Park Gunwook, the 2nd top student in your school and also your ex-boyfriend. While you two were dating, you were basically the school's favorite couple. After all, the two top students that the entire school adored were dating? How could they not love it.

Unfortunately, your relationship with Gunwook ended just as fast as it had started, the boy choosing to dump you in order to get closer with another student who was in his class. It hurt and you had cried over it for days, but you eventually got over it and chose to focus on your academics.

You two broke up a year before you started tutoring Hanbin and befriending the delinquent. And you can imagine how Gunwook was reacting to the news, definitely not taking it well.

"She's with Hanbin?" He said, looking at his friend as he had three heads. "That's what everyone else has been saying" The boy nodded his head, Gunwook thought for a second. There was no way you, the top student with the best grades, was dating the student with the worst grades, the worst status in the entire school and is titled the school's delinquent.

Waving goodbye to his friend, Gunwook went inside the school bathroom, pulling his phone out and dialing your number. Meanwhile, you sat outside on a bench enjoying the small sandwich you held in your hands, when you were interrupted by the vibrating of your phone.

You looked at the screen, while you didn't have Gunwook's number saved anymore, you still recognized his number. Sighing to yourself, you picked it up, holding the device to your ear. "What do you want Park" You said, not hiding the dissatisfaction in your voice.

Gunwook's chuckle came through the speaker, followed by his voice. "Y/N, are you actually dating Sung Hanbin? The delinquent who you told me you hated?" His voice held a joking tone to it, and it was getting on your nerves. "Why would you care? I thought you were too busy with another girl to care about me?" You bit back, hearing a scoff come from the boy, followed by a sigh.

"Still not over that, Y/N?" His voice was now holding a hint of annoyance, invoking a chuckle and a scoff from you too. "Fuck you Park Gunwook" And with those final words spoken, you hung up the phone.

Gunwook cursed, placing his phone back in his pocket. If someone were to ask him if he was jealous, of course he'd say no. After all, he dumped you, where did he get the right to feel jealous over who you were seeing now? But if you weren't gonna give him the answer, then he'll get the answer from Sung Hanbin himself.

"𝘼𝙢 𝙄 𝙛𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙩𝙤𝙤 𝙦𝙪𝙞𝙘𝙠?"

A few days after your call with Gunwook, it was now the scheduled day for your tutoring session with Hanbin. You had texted him that you were waiting for him, but when the minutes passed by and it turned into an hour, you started getting worried. Did he skip on you? Was this because of the rumors about you two? You didn't know, but you at least hoped he was alright.

You decided to wait a tiny bit longer, just simply daydreaming. Your thoughts immediately wandered to Hanbin and the small actions he'd do for you, that smile he always showed you but never anyone else and you felt your heart skip a beat. Quickly snapping up in your seat, you shook your head. "No way....I'm not falling for Hanbin. No way" You laughed at yourself in disbelief, but that familiar warm feeling that filled your chest when you thought of him was too hard to deny.

Looking at the time and declaring that Hanbin wasn't going to turn up, you packed up your things and bid goodbye to the librarian, exiting the library and making your way down the staircase towards the school lobby. As you got down the final step, you heard the sound of something colliding with an object. Hard. Followed by a slumping sound, then muffled voices.

Confused, you step closer to the empty classroom near to the staircase where the voices were coming from. Peaking through the window, your eyes widened in surprise as you saw Gunwook and his group of friends standing over Hanbin, who was on the floor, not unconscious but definitely badly injured as you could see the wounds on his face.

"Now, i'm gonna ask one more time" Gunwook breathed out, picking Hanbin up from the floor by his collar. "Are you and Y/N a thing?" He asked, earning a chuckle from Hanbin. "Fuck you-" Hanbin responded, earning another punch to the face. At this point, you had enough and swung the classroom door open, all heads swirling to look at you.

"Park Gunwook!" You shouted his name, causing the boy to flinch. "What the fuck is wrong with you?" You scolded him, immediately crouching down to Hanbin's level, ignoring his gaze on your face. "Y/N-" Hanbin said your name, earning a hiss from you. "Idiot" You scolded him too, helping Hanbin stand up.

"If you do this again Park Gunwook, i'll make sure your life is a living hell" You glared at your ex, before guiding Hanbin out of the classroom and down the hall to the nurse's office, ignoring the yell of annoyance Gunwook let out after you left.

"𝙃𝙚'𝙨 𝙪𝙥 𝙞𝙣 𝙢𝙮 𝙝𝙚𝙖𝙙, 𝙪𝙥 𝙞𝙣 𝙢𝙮 𝙝𝙚𝙖𝙧𝙩. 𝙆𝙣𝙚𝙬 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙚 𝙬𝙖𝙨 𝙨𝙤𝙢𝙚𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙚 𝙛𝙧𝙤𝙢 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙨𝙩𝙖𝙧𝙩. 𝙉𝙤𝙬 𝙄'𝙢 𝙪𝙥 𝙞𝙣 𝙢𝙮 𝙗𝙚𝙙, 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙠𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙩𝙤𝙤 𝙝𝙖𝙧𝙙. 𝘽𝙤𝙪𝙩' 𝙝𝙤𝙬 𝙝𝙚'𝙙 𝙛𝙚𝙚𝙡 𝙧𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩 𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙚 𝙞𝙣 𝙢𝙮 𝙖𝙧𝙢𝙨"

Sat in the nurse's office, you watched quietly as the nurse patched Hanbin's bleeding face up. "I'll make sure to report this to the principal, don't you worry" She smiled at you and then at Hanbin. "You need to rest up once you get home, okay? I'm sure your girlfriend here will take care of you" She smiled towards you once again.

"Oh, i'm no-" "Yeah, i'm sure she will" Hanbin nodded his head, standing up and leaving the nurse's office. You stood there for a few seconds stunned at what he had said, before snapping out of it and thanking the nurse again before chasing after Hanbin.

As you two walked past the school gates and down the pavement in silence, you stared at the side of Hanbin's face. Practically admiring it, but you'd never admit that. "If you keep staring, people might get the wrong idea" He said, smiling at you.

You scoffed looking away, a blush staining your cheeks. "Did you mean what you said back there?" You asked, building up the courage after it had been on your mind since leaving the school building. Did he actually mean it? Did he like you that way, the same way you liked him?

Silence enshrouded you two again as you walked, causing your stomach to twist into a knot. What if he didn't actually mean it? What if he was just agreeing with the nurse to get out of there? Oh my god, how could you be so dumb Y/N

"𝙅𝙪𝙨𝙩 𝙜𝙞𝙫𝙚 𝙢𝙚 𝙖 𝙨𝙞𝙜𝙣, 𝙖𝙢 𝙄 𝙖𝙨𝙠𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙩𝙤𝙤 𝙢𝙪𝙘𝙝?"

Suddenly, Hanbin stopped, causing you to stop as well. He'd turn towards you and you'd nervously look up at him. "Yes" He replied, a similar blush painting his cheeks. You felt your breath leave your body, your heart on the verge of exploding in your chest.

Your thoughts were racing fast, all over the place. You didn't know what to say, it was like you forgot how to speak. Hanbin looked at your face as he awaited your answer, a sigh escaping his lips. "If you don't feel the same way, it's fine. I'm use-" But before he could say anything else, you stepped forward, connecting your lips to his.

Hanbin immediately kissed back just as passionately, his lips sending you the message of how grateful he was to you for being kind to him and showing him that not everyone in school hated him. Helping him find out he could feel something as deep as love. Yes, Hanbin was madly in love with you from the first day you tutored him. He found you beautiful, the way the sun complimented your features while it shined on you, the way you giggled and smiled, the way you played with your nails when daydreaming. Every little thing just made him fall deeper in love with you.

In every instance that he thought about his future after school, you were in it. And you couldn't lie, you saw him in your future too, despite his status throughout the entire school, he had shown you that he wasn't much of a delinquent like the students painted him to be. He was kind, he was caring, he was loving, he had a small hamster plush that he took great care of (which you found absolutely adorable by the way).

You couldn't help but fall in love with him from the way he treated you and cared for you. There's no one else you'd rather be in love with.

Pulling away from the kiss to catch your breath, you and Hanbin stared into each other's eyes, a smile on both of your faces. "Y/N" Hanbin said your name, causing you to hum in response. "Do.....do you want to be my girlfriend?" He asked shyly, causing you to giggle and nod your head. "I'd love to be, Hanbin" and with that, Hanbin kissed you again, trapping your lips with his as you kissed in the middle of the pavement.

𝘛𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦'𝘴 𝘯𝘰 𝘱𝘭𝘢𝘤𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶'𝘥 𝘳𝘢𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘣𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘯 𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘩𝘪𝘮

"𝘿𝙤𝙚𝙨 𝙝𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙠 𝙤𝙛 𝙢𝙚? 𝙒𝙞𝙨𝙝 𝙄 𝙘𝙤𝙪𝙡𝙙 𝙗𝙚 𝙥𝙖𝙧𝙩 𝙤𝙛 𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙬𝙤𝙧𝙡𝙙"

[wonjnz]

drunk on (the thought of loving) you

₊˚⊹ summary: five years of loving hanbin can be told within taking five shots.

₊˚⊹ genre: angst (idk if this is even sad at all.. VV SLICE OF LIFE), best friend!hanbin, collegel!au | wc: 2.2k

₊˚⊹ warning(s): swearing, mentions of drinking | inspo: that’s what you get - paramore

₊˚⊹ a/n: idk this was kinda scrapped last month .. i’ll just post this bc i wanna keep this acc alive!!!

i. the first shot

you vividly remember watching hanbin crying in the driver’s seat.

you were the first person he called right after he got dumped by his now ex-girlfriend; and all you could do was watch and offer him a few tissues from the passenger’s side, occasionally offering a “she wasn’t all that, anyway.” whenever hanbin would rant about how much he wasted his love on her just to get ghosted.

“i don’t know anymore, y/n. am i that dumb to not notice she isn’t into me?” he asks despite his throat dry from crying, looking at you.

and that’s when you had that damn cheesy realization the moment you looked at hanbin again — the realization where you’ve stupidly fallen for your long-time best friend and that stupid, high school love you’ve been trying to avoid for all these years slowly dawns on you now despite both of you in college.

you shrug your feelings off for the meantime, “of course not. plus, you deserve someone way better.” you assure him.

the moment you arrive home, you’ve had the whole night to confirm that you were, in fact, helplessly in love with sung hanbin.

you don’t even know how it started — maybe it was during the one time he tiredly slept on your shoulder while on the way home from a field trip, or the way he’d always invite and mention you everywhere and anytime he could to the point even his friends thought you were together, and you don’t even dare try to remember how he said “i’ll love you whenever nobody is there to do it.” that one night during your nightly calls.

and as if that wasn’t already a big wave enough, zhang hao’s reaction to it felt like a tsunami.

“say you’re kidding right now.” zhang hao says in disbelief at your confession the next day, putting his drink down to focus solely on you. “you, liking your — our best friend since middle school, right after his ass got dumped?”

you frown and shrug as a reply, “i don’t know, everything just clicked that time. i think that’s like three years worth of having to interpret his mixed signals towards me.”

zhang hao sighs at your confused state, taking a sip from his coffee before speaking up, “so you’ve liked him for at least three years now?”

slowly nodding, you put your head in your hands. “god, i’m such a fucking dumbass, hao.” you say exasperatedly as you dread the day you’d grow tired and finally confess to hanbin,

“you think you’ll try talking to him about it soon?”

“i don’t think i’ll ever have the guts to tell him, hao.” you say defeatedly, looking down at your phone to see that hanbin sent another really long rant about his ex. “not when he’s still fresh out of a relationship, that’s for sure.”

“i’m just scared that once i confess, i’ll ruin everything. i’ll ruin us.”

you felt helpless, hopeless even, just the mere thought of seeing hanbin’s pitiful reaction at your confession is enough to make you pass out in the bustling cafe you were in. what more when he’ll start distancing himself days after? you were terrified.

zhang hao waves your fear off nonchalantly, “you’ll never know. what if you’re in some kind of drama and this could be your chance?” he tries to lighten the mood, smiling victoriously when you raise your eyebrows at him.

“don’t feed into my delusions hao,” you roll your eyes at him. “i'll just tell him once i'm over from this whole dumb ��liking your best friend’ thing.”

“by the looks of it, i don't think that's happening anytime soon.”

you scoff and playfully hit zhang hao’s shoulder, receiving a small scowl from him, “but you gotta admit, we make a good pair,”

“he just doesn't love me that way.”

ii. the second shot

sometimes you wish you weren’t too adamant on hanbin drinking his heartbreak out, especially now that you’re left with a drunk-out-of-his-mind hanbin in your apartment. (you mentally curse zhang hao for leaving earlier than expected.)

the night started off with the three of you making a toast to hanbin moving on, which then evolved into a mini ranting session about going into college life, then a sudden karaoke break, zhang hao leaving after, and now this.

you’re both slouched on the dining table, arms serving as your only pillow because for some reason you can’t walk over to your sofa, and with no knowledge of time as you ramble on about the most random topics you could think of.

hanbin hums amusingly, “y’know, even if you say nobody is there to love you, i’m always here as your best friend.” his words slurred and groggy. and even with the amount of alcohol in your system numbing your senses, you still felt that little sting in your heart, you only laugh as a reply.

“so you'll only ever see me as a friend?”

you hear him hum lowly, “of course, what else would i think of you as?”

right, of course.

“not even more than a friend?” you, or the alcohol in your system, ask again. hanbin slowly hums again, the sound softening until you're met with nothing but the sound of the bustling city outside your apartment.

a few minutes passed by and you finally gain the strength to at least sit up, the sight of hanbin sleeping coming in full view — his slight pout, light breathing with a few snores here and there, and ruffled hair was honestly a sight you wished you could look at forever. but you swear the longer you stared at him, that god-awful feeling of regret starts to feel even stronger than before.

but that night, you fell in love with sung hanbin for a second time.

iii. the third shot

“you know, we started talking again.” hanbin shares through the phone, going silent as he expects some reaction. no way.

you shift in your seat, “seriously? didn’t you say you officially moved on like what, two years ago?” hanbin smiles sheepishly to himself before saying, “she messaged me last night, so i replied. we talked the whole time i barely slept.”

“we’ll hang out a bit after this actually! you wanna join us?” he offers innocently, your heart receiving a jab this time when you noticed how excited his voice seemed just at the mere thought of seeing her, you knew hanbin well enough to know he was madly in love yet again.

you stay silent for a few minutes before speaking up, “you guys have fun, i don’t wanna be the third-wheel between you two.” hanbin mumbles a small ‘awe,’ before eventually ending the call to get ready.

next thing you know, you’re on facetime with zhang hao bawling your eyes out about what just happened. “see i told you, he’s still hung up on her.” he says while walking around his apartment.

genuinely speaking you don’t know what’s worse, the harsh truth zhang hao was telling or the way you could barely hear his voice due to the amount of muffling and moving he’s doing.

“did you see the way he’s talking about her? he’s literally the most obvious man alive.”

“you’re really not helping me here hao.”

“right, sorry.” zhang hao immediately shuts up, humming a bit before speaking up again. “i know it’s not easy, but at least try to move on from him, y’know?” he says, his voice filled with sympathy at your state.

before you could speak up zhang hao continues on, “it’s not possible, i know, or — i don’t know, just tell him so you can get that burden off, i’m sure he’ll understand anyway.”

you groan at the thought of confessing, “are those really my only choices?”

“unless you wanna live with getting hurt over and over again, yeah.” zhang hao shrugs.

you sigh at his advice, he was right after all, but every time you remember your friendship is at stake; you back out at the last minute. “i’ve been handling this for two years, hao, don’t you think i can handle two more?” zhang hao chuckles almost pitifully.

“of course not, you’ve been handling this whole hanbin thing for, correction, five years too long. you've genuinely gone batshit crazy.”

“honestly hao fuck you because was the last part really that necessary?”

iv. the fourth shot

god, you’re tired of hanbin’s constant compliments about her; how she’s the best person in the world, how she’s the prettiest girl he’s seen, how she’s so special and dear to him. almost every conversation you’ve had would always go back to something related about her, even if it meant the most absurd topics only you three would know. the topic could be about how zhang hao got lost in the middle of a forest and hanbin would still tie it back to her.

hell, he even mentions her even while drinking.

but you’ve handled it for five years now, so what’s the difference?

the three of you were celebrating your graduation in zhang hao’s apartment, the bouquet from your parents laying on the sofa while your togas were thrown across the room while zhang hao’s coffee table was filled with a bunch of soju and shot glasses you bought from a nearby convenience store.

“thank god we’re finally graduates, i can finally escape from all those girls taking candid pictures of me.” zhanghao sighs in relief the moment he starts downing his first drink of the night, pouring more.

“you sure? i already saw new fansites of you online, they’ll never leave you alone at this rate.” hanbin retorts, you chuckle at zhang hao's horror as he's frantically checking his twitter to see pictures of him at his graduation.

the night, cliché enough, felt like a dream. the three of you basking in the temporary freedom of adulthood before you start looking for work.

as it went on, you missed the days where you could look at hanbin without noticing the stars in his eyes, the days where you could still speak full coherent sentences whenever his attention is fully on you, and zhang hao noticed.

“it's just hard to say no to someone you really loved,” you hear hanbin say, zhang hao had brought up his ex (to your absolute horror and zhang hao's drunkenness) and you've been quiet the whole conversation.

“especially with her, it felt like i had no more to give but the moment we talked — there was still something left.”

you chuckle, not at him, but the way his words hit how you feel with hanbin right in the center. and yet you just can't refuse to give hanbin the little love you have left even when he's freely giving his own to someone else.

you take another shot to drown your feelings out more, “so you just can't say no, right?” you ask, seeing if he feels the same way.

hanbin smiles at you before nodding, placing his shot glass down to lean back on his chair. “yeah. you really can't.” he answers, confirming that you were both experiencing the same form of love. but painfully enough, just not towards each other.

god, was the truth so anticlimactic for you.

the way hanbin talks about her with the same lovestruck eyes whenever you talk about him to zhang hao, how you notice the little things in hanbin the way he also notices the little things in her — you knew it from the start.

but to see it slapped to your face despite knowing how it'll end, just felt like reality slowly kicking in the more drinks you take.

and now, under zhang hao's dim apartment lights, you realized that the truth that sung hanbin will never see you as more than his most cherished best friend since middle school, really does hurt.

you swear you were just drinking your first shot, but when you woke up to find yourself on zhang hao's bed; a loud snore coming from the living room and—

v. the fifth shot

“you awake?”

shit.

quickly turning to hanbin's figure by the bedroom door despite the pounding headache, you slowly nod. “just woke up actually.”

as you slowly look at hanbin by the bedroom door, you immediately remember the day you realized your feelings for him — his face puffy from crying yet still so pretty under that orange sunset glow, his hands that’d usually tap on the steering wheel when he was starting to calm down again, and the way his shirt was so wrinkled in one specific area from all the bunching.

it felt almost too poetic to have that sort of realization under the sunset in his car, almost as if you’re bidding goodbye to the days you used to look at him as just your best friend.

so you, or the remaining alcohol in your system figured, rather, that you make use of the sunrise to finally welcome the harsh truth of confessing to him.

and you did.

“i love you.”

you’re met with nothing but silence, looking down to save yourself from bawling your eyes out in front of him.

“i’ve loved you for five years, hanbin. five fucking grueling years.” you manage to croak out, not noticing the way hanbin slowly makes his way towards you, nor the way his eyes significantly soften when he sees zhang hao’s sheets slowly staining from your tears.

a few minutes pass without much happening, the room only filled with the sounds of your sniffling.

“i’m sorry, y/n.” hanbin whispers, eventually embracing you to at least bring some comfort. but to his dismay, his actions just made you cry even harder; not because you just got rejected, but because of how soft his voice and embrace was it felt like he was pitying you.

in his defense, who wouldn’t? you loved him for so long, despite knowing he’s still hung up on his ex-girlfriend and regardless will still see you as his most precious best friend. all he could do at the moment was continuously say ‘i’m sorry’ whenever you cling onto his shirt tighter as support.

as you continue to cry in his embrace, you realized that under the sunset, you were there to comfort hanbin. but as you’re both waiting for the sunrise, you figured he’ll never be the one there for you like he promised.

[seokmthw]

daisy | sung hanbin

this is part of the zb1 flowers series!

⇢ meaning: daisies represent new beginnings and innocence

⇢ pairing: hanbin x reader

⇢ warnings: exes to lovers, angst, fluff

⇢ synopsis: after not having time for each other in your college years, you and your boyfriend break up. by some twist of fate, you meet again a few years later.

⇢ word count: 2.4k

⇢ note: hanbin is genuinely so perfect and so easy for me to write for. i hope you all enjoy this little addition to the flower series, up next should be matthew! i am loving writing this so far :) this was kind of inspired by for the first time by the script so if you wanna listen to that while you read you can!

JOIN MY TAGLIST!

“i just don’t think this is working out, hanbin.”

those were the words he never wanted to hear from you, although he knew deep down that there was a strong sense of truth behind them. you both were going to college and invested in your own extracurricular activities, you had to go to classes and do homework and projects, and you also had to work in order to survive throughout your schooling. 

the harsh reality was, there was never really any time for just the two of you.

you were pacing the room back and forth, your eyes flitting to anything and everything that wasn’t hanbin, because you knew the moment your gaze met his, you would start crying. you didn’t want to have to do this, you wanted so badly for it to work out, but all of your attempts had proven this entire situation to be a lot more difficult than it originally seemed. 

you huffed out of frustration, finally deciding to sit down on the edge of the loveseat in hanbin’s living room. you found interest in the way a corner of the throw rug curled up, desperate to find the words to tell him that you didn’t want this to come to an end, but they never came. instead, your wants died in your throat and were replaced with the words you never dared speak until now, “i think we should break up.”

silence clung heavily to the air surrounding the two of you. hanbin knew it was coming, as did you, but it didn’t prepare you for the utter heartbreak either of you felt. you blinked, and a stray tear dripped down onto your cheek, much against your will, and alerted the boy next to you. 

in all honesty, he was trying to keep himself together too, but the moment he saw you crying he was able to easily forget about himself. within mere seconds he was on the floor in front of you, one of his warm palms made its home on top of your thigh, “hey, don’t cry, it’s okay.”

“that’s the thing, bin,” you sadly laughed, glossy eyes finally meeting with his, “it’s not.” 

he sighed, soon taking a seat next to you on the cushion of the loveseat, pulling you into his chest. almost immediately, you were a sobbing mess, and hanbin would be a liar if he said he wasn’t crying too, but it was mainly because he hated seeing you hurt so much. the two of you sat like that for a while, relishing in the last moments you would have as a couple, because you knew you would never get this back. 

it just wasn’t in the cards for you. 

the room had gone silent once again aside from an occasional sniffle erupting from the both of you. managing to get the strength to make eye contact with him, you couldn’t help but feel tears well up once again the moment his expression softened and the look of adoration in his eyes was reflecting back to you. 

parting your lips, your voice was barely above a whisper as you said, “i’m so sorry.”

“please don’t be,” hanbin was quick to respond, “you don’t ever have to be sorry for something like this. i know this is for the best. right person, wrong timing, right? maybe someday in the future, you and i can start over and see where it takes us, yeah? for now, we can just focus on college and trying to get through the next couple of years.”

you nodded, albeit reluctantly, and leaned up to press a sweet kiss to his lips, “i will always love you, hanbin.”

“and i will always love you, y/n, no matter what.”

after breaking up with hanbin, it was rare you were ever able to actually talk or see each other. college got far too busy and overwhelming for the both of you, and the little time you’d had to see each other before was completely diminished the more time went on. 

your heartache was finally beginning to subside, and you even attempted dating a couple of times since hanbin, but none of them worked. you’d managed to end up with people who you just didn’t have chemistry with or who were complete assholes, there was really no in between when it came to that. 

with college graduation coming up, you knew you would see hanbin. he would be walking across the same stage as you, having his name called, and his face plastered on the big screens around the arena the ceremony was being held in. 

he looked good, there was no doubt about that. he always did. you couldn’t help the way you gawked at him, or how well his graduation gown fit him, or how his hair was perfectly parted to the side how you remembered liking it to be. part of you wondered if maybe he did it on purpose, knowing you would be there to see, but you knew he wouldn’t be petty like that because you ended on such good terms. 

you didn’t expect to get so teary eyed seeing him for the first time in a little over a year, but you were dabbing away tears moments before you walked to receive your diploma, managing to play it off as being proud of yourself and your accomplishments.

you knew it was better off this way, but god, did it hurt.

as you were walking back to your seat, you made eye contact with him, offering a small, shy smile to him as you did you so. he returned it, his eyes forming into the pretty crescent shapes you loved so much, and he gave you a nod of acknowledgement, hands coming up in front of him to give you a clap. 

but little did you know, the moment you were out of his sight, he burst into tears.

“shit, shit, shit,” you hissed under your breath, one hand gripping your iced coffee and the other rummaging through your bag for your keys, but they were nowhere to be found.

this was the icing on your cake today; you’d missed your bus this morning, somehow managed to break the printer at work - which would be coming out of your paycheck, by the way - and had now lost the only way to get into your apartment after a long and stressful day.

you groaned in frustration, looking through your belongings once more before finally admitting defeat and deciding to walk back downstairs to the front desk in hopes of them having a spare so you could crawl into your bed and sleep for the rest of the night.

you messed around inside your bag as you walked, not paying any attention to the path in front of you, and inevitably ramming into someone, your coffee exploding in your hand and soaking your clothes and most likely your neighbors’.

“oh my god, i’m so sorry,” you exclaimed, eyes scanning the damage that had been done, feeling a pang of guilt wash over you at the sight of a giant wet patch on the stranger’s crisp, white t-shirt.

there was a chuckle from the other person, “that’s okay, y/n.”

your head snapped up at the use of your name, eyes nearly falling out of your head from how wide they had gotten at the sight in front of you. sung hanbin, your ex-boyfriend, and now the person you spilled a cold coffee all over. to say you were surprised to see him was an understatement - you had thought he was abroad somewhere to broaden his teaching practices.

“h-hanbin?” you managed to stutter out, looking around the hallway to see if anyone else was around and whether or not you were imagining this, “do you - do you live here?”

“i do, i suppose we’ve just never run into each other,” he flashed the same smile that still somehow made butterflies go crazy in your tummy.

you blinked slowly, somehow still unable to believe that this was happening to you, “how long has it been since we last talked? a couple of years maybe?”

he nodded, “i think so,” he quirked an eyebrow up in question, “if you don’t mind me asking, what were you in such a hurry for?”

you laughed, defeatedly looking back down at the mess you’d created in your haste to get downstairs, sheepishly replying, “i kind of lost my keys and was going to see if there was a spare available.”

hanbin chuckled, and you knew by the way he did so he was about to say something you didn’t want to hear, “i hate to be the bearer of bad news, but the front desk is closed for the weekend.”

“of course it is,” you remarked, “this is just how my day is going.”

hanbin appeared to be contemplating something, almost as if having a battle within his own brain, before finally stating, “if you need somewhere to stay, you can stay in my apartment for the weekend. you can have my bed and i can sleep out on the couch.”

if there was something you would never, ever forget about sung hanbin, it was his kindness. no matter what the situation was, he was always putting others before himself and offering a helping hand whenever anyone needed, and you were sickeningly reminded of how he’d always treated you so well when you were together despite not getting to spend much time together.

you were baffled, to say the least.

“i don’t wanna be a burden or anything, so i-” you began but he cut you off almost immediately.

“i knew you would say that, and i promise you that i wouldn’t have offered if i didn’t mean it.”

your gaze met with his, and the sincerity behind his eyes was hard to miss. you tried to suppress any past feelings for him that threatened to rise up as you nodded, merely following him to his front door and into his apartment, which was so wholeheartedly hanbin.

it smelled of his cologne and was neat, not a single thing out of place, just like it had been in his college apartment. you shyly walked in behind him to the living room, taking a seat on his plush couch the moment he motioned for you to do so.

“is there anything i can get for you? i want you to be as comfortable as possible while being here,” hanbin asked, taking a seat next to you, his eyes glittering in the dim lighting, taking shape of those pretty little crescents you remembered so vividly.

“i think i’m okay for now,” you answered honestly, “i just appreciate you letting me stay here, you honestly saved me a lot of trouble.”

a little while later, after a small debate between the two of you broke out about borrowing one of hanbin’s shirts since yours was soaked with coffee, a comfortable silence had fallen between the two of you; he was cooking up a meal in the kitchen and you’d found interest in a book he had sitting on his table.

you couldn’t help but steal a glance at him every once in a while, having memories of moments exactly like this from your college years flooding your brain. you shook your head, training your eyes back onto the words of the page you’d reread over and over because you just couldn’t focus.

“am i right in thinking you don't like onions?” he asked, eyes now gently trained on you as you registered his question in your mind.

how he remembered such a miniscule detail about you blew your mind, though you tried not to let that show, “yeah, they’re disgusting.”

hanbin chuckled at your response before he finished up making your dinner plates and sat down next to you on the couch, handing you the meal he had made for the two of you to eat. you thanked him quietly, digging into your meal with a content sigh. you couldn't help but take note of the way hanbin’s gaze stared into you.

you finally had the courage to meet your eyes with his, a shy smile forming on your lips as you chewed on your rice, “is everything okay?”

“can i say something, y/n?”

you nodded, nervous for what he might say to you. maybe he was just gonna tell you to find somewhere else to stay for the weekend, but you knew hanbin, and your thoughts couldn't have been further from the truth.

“i never got over you from college, you know,” his words were carefully articulated, making sure to get his point across, “and seeing you a few years later, i think i’ve fully come to the conclusion that i never will.”

you swore you were going to choke on the bite of your food you had just taken. you blinked a few times, finally managing to spew out a response to him, “really?”

he laughed lightly, “of course. when i said i would always love you, i meant it,” he paused to gauge your reaction, “you’re just as lovely as you were back then.”

“i think i could say the same about you,” you answered honestly, having now set your utensils down on your plate, fully engaged in the conversation, “i’ve been thinking it since i ran into you in the hallway.”

hanbin had mirrored your actions, though he had set his entire plate on the coffee table. he scooted closer to you, hand finding it's home on your cheek, and you instantly melted into his touch. his gentle demeanor was something you missed so dearly, and feeling some form of physical contact with him after so long was something you didn't think you needed.

he leaned forward, a small smile adorning his lips before he met them with yours, causing your stomach to do backflips. you inched slightly closer to him, resting your hands on his chest, and allowing him to fully kiss you the way he intended.

he pulled away, pressing his forehead against your own, and asked, “would you like to try us again? see where it goes? maybe do all of the things we never got to do together in college?”

“i would love that.”

“good,” he responded, kissing you once more, “because you’re stuck with me regardless."

[lovepookie]

zerobaseone masterlist

૮꒰ ˶• ༝ •˶꒱ა ♡ “is it a new start or the end?"

disclaimer! i will not be writing fics for yujin as he is a minor and i am not comfortable doing so! however, if i write reactions/fake texts for him it is purely platonic/friendship. xoxo

✿ = my personal favorites!

ot9 reactions/imagines — (coming soon)

ot9 fake texts —

☁︎ — texting zb1 “we need to talk”

hyung line | maknae line

☁︎ — zb1 texting you “i’m paying for your nails” ✿

hyung line | maknae line

☁︎ — angsty zb1 texts: after an argument ✿

☁︎ — zb1 reaction to “pull up, i’m in a fight” ✿

hyung line | maknae line

☁︎ — bestfriend!zb1 accidental confession

hyung line | maknae line

.��.

— kim jiwoong ༉‧₊˚. (coming soon)

— zhang hao ༉‧₊˚. (coming soon)

— sung hanbin ༉‧₊˚.

SUN STAR MOON | 2.7k | angst, fluffy, slightly suggestive, established relationship, fem!reader, pregnancy au, kind of depressing ngl

♡ sypnosis: two lines. all it takes is two lines to change the trajectory of your life; you're pregnant. what are you to do? for starters, you have your amazing boyfriend hanbin by your side-and he'd go to the ends of the earth to make you happy and to make things work. there's something deep down that tells you he'd make an amazing dad; and maybe, just maybe, that you could make this work.

— seok matthew ༉‧₊˚.

NO PRESENTS | 2.4k | teeth-rotting fluff, suggestive, established relationship, non-idol au, christmas centered

♡ sypnosis: you and matthew agreed on no presents this year in order to save up to see his family for christmas next year. he has pestered you for a christmas tree, and now he won't stop clinging to you because "it's christmas, woman!" little does he know, you have a little gift up your sleeve.

— kim taerae ༉‧₊˚. (coming soon)

— ricky shen ༉‧₊˚.

FAVORING ROSES OVER DAISIES ✿ | 7.0k | royal au, fantasy/magical, fluff, angsty, prince! ricky, fem!reader, prince!hanbin side pairing, enemies to lovers, forbidden love

♡ sypnosis: daisies will forever and always be boring; they were the former queen's-your mother's-favorite flower. however, now that it's your turn to ascend the thrown, you can't help that roses are your favorite; just like the blood-red ones embellished on prince ricky's black suit on the night of your suitor's ball. but don't get caught up in the pretty scent and petals, because where there is beauty, there is thorns. ricky is the prince of an enemy nation-and your whole life he has been nothing but a pest. a really pretty one.

— kim gyubin ༉‧₊˚.

WHAT? HUH? ✿ | 5.3k | fluff, slight angst?, suggestive, childhood bestfriends to lovers, crack, college au, older reader

♡ sypnosis: your childhood friend gyubin had managed to bribe you into being his date to an all exclusive couple's christmas frat party, but you know more than anyone present that you don't belong there. the way gyubin's been eyeing you the whole night, the slight touches here and there; the way your heart beats fast in your chest in response-none of it belongs because you're just supposed to be friends-right?

HONEY ✿ | 3.7k | fluff, hint of angst, fem!reader, bestfriends to lovers, college au

♡ sypnosis: you're not really sure why the sight of gyubin's eyes start to look different one day. they had your cheeks burning when he'd get even so much as a foot away from you despite him being your best friend, and they reminded you so much of honey when the light from the window hit them just right. you've slowly come to realize that the big brown eyes that belonged to the exhausting and annoying loser just might be the reason for your fast heart rate too.

— park gunwook ༉‧₊˚.

CONSEQUENCES ✿ | 2.1k | teeth rotting fluff, some angst, established relationship, boyfriend!gunwook

♡ sypnosis: your boyfriend is park gunwook. sweet. cute. couldn't hurt a fly. and you? a demon who wants to tick him off and see him jealous. gunwook doesn't play when it comes to his feelings, so naturally, you'll suffer the consequences-or maybe you won't. you're kinda his soft spot.

PROMISE | 2.0k | fluff, slight angst, sports fic, established relationship, boyfriend!gunwook

♡ sypnosis: star-football player park gunwook probably can't play for the rest of the season due to an injury sustained on the field. but more than that, your boyfriend park gunwook is in pain-and you'll hop fences, run past security, and go to the ends of the earth just to get to him; that's a promise.

— han yujin ༉‧₊˚.

2024 © lovepookie

♡ please do not plagarize, repost, copy or translate any of my works. thank you.

[faithst]

I DON'T GET SICK, SILLY ! ♡ SHB

synopsis hanbin never gets sick but when he does, he won’t admit it

genre hanbin x gn!reader, fluff, established relationship warnings mentions of sickness/medicine/food wc 1k+

notes happy hanbin day !

masterlist

hanbin was always the type of person to care about others more than himself. he loves the joy it brings to him when others are happy and well.

so regularly, he’s been taking care of you whether you like it or not. especially when you were sick, he’d make sure you took your medicine on time and was getting enough rest.

he’d arrive at your door the second he heard you sneeze. maybe he was a little bit dramatic, but he cared for you and it made him happy to be doing things for people he loved. his touches and love for you were basically enough to make you feel better again.

one day when you were sick (again), hanbin was already there at the doorstep with some porridge at hand. “you didn’t have to, you know..” you say as you plop onto the couch, pulling the blanket. “but i do, i care about you and your health.” fondness in his tone as he places the porridge on the table.

he watches as your eyes droop with exhaustion, his heart ached at the sight of you; someone he loved, so worn out. “have you ate your medicine?” he spoke out, placing his palm onto your forehead to check the temperature. you slightly nod, pulling up the blankets a bit more as you felt chilly. feeling relieved, he laid down next to you.

“hanbin, you’re gonna get sick too.” you say, knowing fully well that hanbin never gets sick from anything. he smiled affectionately, placing a kiss to your forehead “you matter more than getting sick. besides, i never get sick, silly!”

a few days passed and your fever finally went away. hanbin was there with you all of those few days to take care of you and make you feel better. as a token of appreciation, you decided to stop by hanbin’s to hang out with him.

knocking on the door, you heard footsteps nearing followed by the sound of unlocking the lock. the door opened, revealing a messy-haired hanbin that looked like he just woke up from his nap. he invited you in, closing the door behind you and immediately clearing up his living room that was piled over with pillows and a blanket

“sorry for the mess..” he rubbed his nape out of embarrassment. this wasn’t like hanbin, he always made sure his house was tidy and to look neat, especially knowing he was going to have guests over. you shrugged it off as he could’ve been tired from doing work and not have time to clear stuff out.

after he finished clearing the space, he sat down and patted the area of couch next to him, signalling you to sit down. you eyed his face; obviously handsome and stunning but it seemed like he was tired, maybe it was work or a bad sleeping schedule but you didn’t question it as you knew hanbin was one to always prioritise health. well you believed that until you heard a sneeze erupt from hanbin, his eyes widening from the realisation.

“hanbin, are you sick?” eyes furrowing at the sight of him, you always thought he had a strong immune system. “i’m fine, it was just a sneeze.” he replied, smiling to reassure you. as much as you wanted to believe him, he did spend days with you when you were sick, literally giving you kisses everywhere.

another sneeze, followed up with another just confirmed the fact that sung hanbin; the guy that never gets sick, is currently coming down with a fever. as he wipes his nose using a tissue, he looks at you while trying to hold a smile “really, i’m fine. don’t worry about it.”

but the ways his eyes droop with fatigue says otherwise, you get up to place your hand onto his forehead, feeling for his temperature “oh my, you’re hot!” hanbin chuckled at your words, pulling you back down onto the couch “i know i am.” you realise what you said, softly hitting him on the shoulder as this wasn’t the time to joke around.

“hanbin, you’re literally burning and you say you’re fine?” he softly smiles, taking your hand to kiss your knuckles “i swear i’m alright.” another sneeze came out from him, this time you weren’t gonna let hanbin get away with it. you get up, walking to where he stores all his medicine for every ailment. he didn’t even try to stop you, he was too tired to as he was now fighting a bad headache.

you came back with a few bottles of medicine and some water. you placed the medicine in one of his hands and gave the glass of water to the other. as much as hanbin wanted to prove he was not sick; it was definitely obvious he was. he took one look at the medicine and sighed, plopping them into his mouth, followed by a gulp of water to wash it down.

he was rubbing his temples, trying to get rid of the aching pain in his head, laying down onto the couch in the process. you’ve never seen hanbin so tired before and well, sick in general as hanbin took pride in not ever getting sick.

you grabbed the well folded blanket earlier and covered him up. a pout forming on his lips “i never get sick, why is this happening?” he complains, moving to lay down on one side. “maybe because someone kept kissing me while i was very sick last week.” his lips pressed into a thin line, realising what he did easily contributed to his pains now. he really wanted to complain more but the exhaustion got to him.

“how am i going to take care of you now?” he asked, holding your hand as his mood sullens at the thought. you smiled because even when sick, he’s still thinking about you. “you don’t. let me take care of you.”

he was disquieted on your statement, shaking his head “no, i’m fine!” he tries to rebut as a last effort. but you weren’t taking it, squeezing his hand “yeah, whatever you say.” laughing at his antics. “just let me take care of you, okay?” sure, he was very bothered that he couldn’t do much but he was also grateful that you were there for him. huffing out, knowing there was no changing your mind and acting strong now

“thank you.”

© keiwook | 2023

tag @bruhiamistake @trashhdez @chxrrymxxnlight @haesunflower @big-uwu-stan

here, if you want to join the taglist !

[yourstruleejn]

six days of us

six days of a love story. from its beginning to its end.

⋆

pairing // kim taerae x fem! reader; other characters mentioned are hanbin and kim chaehyun on the readers side, and junhyeon and matthew on taerae’s!

genre // fluff & angst; university student! au; he fell first, she fell harder-ish; it’s based on six selected day6 songs!

word count // 14.5 k

tw // not too sure, insecurities in one’s own feelings but if there are any more lmk!

playlist // here (i recommend listening in order but i can't really tell you what to do so! have fun!)

author’s note // i‘m back!! so sorry it took so long but i genuinely loved writing this! it was so much fun, i tried to keep it kind of realistic but it’s been a while since my last relationship so i’m not too sure i succeeded lol! anyways i hope you enjoy reading and that it was worth the wait!

!!! reminder !!! everything i write about on here is entirely fictional and in no way am i saying this is how the people mentioned would act in real life! it’s all just pretend! ♡

How come when the skies turn grey, heavy clouds like curtains keeping out the light, we forget the vivid of the blue, the warmth of sun? How come when the winter months set in and the trees stand bare, we forget the rustle of the leaves as the summer wind hums the tune to July? How come when a person enters our lives, we cannot imagine our life not knowing them? But how come, once the same person leaves, everything reminds us of them, like a ghost coming back to haunt us, to remind us of what could have been?

1. hi hello

The smell of coffee, polite smiles, and the morning rush. It was usually around May when you noticed that the hot chocolates turned into iced americanos. An established tradition for your co-workers and you, was to buy the drink for the first customer who ordered it iced. A welcome to summer, a deed to make someone smile. Of course, the lot of you usually ended up giving out more than one free drink, not only because of miscommunications, but mostly because it seemed like the right thing to do. Thus, you and the other employees were more grateful than ever that your boss was as lenient as he was, usually laughing it off, and popping an ice cube in his steaming hot cappuccino as a gesture. Nevertheless, he was sure to give a stern warning (or a friendly reminder, as he liked to call them) to not give out any more free iced drinks once the first week of May had passed. You usually just smiled at your phone as the yearly text made all of your phones whistle in unison.

The first Friday of May was here and with it you had hoped a comfortably busy day at work. The weather was embracing the light mood of the university students running around near campus, and you were convinced more than one of them would crave an iced beverage of some sort.

You had been cleaning the espresso machine, making sure everything was bound to run smoothly for your next order, when the serenity of the afternoon made itself known to you: No customers were queuing for their orders, the inside-tables of the small coffee shop were empty, the ones outside just as unoccupied, which was due to the unexpectedly harsh sun, who warmed the cement for the first time, radiating it back towards the already heating air. It was to be expected, the parasols were still packed away in the storage room in the back of the shop. Sighing you rested your head on top your hands looking through the opened front as the quiet outside world was conquered by the sunrays of early May. You could feel the cool of the counter spread onto the palms of your hands, as the dooming boredom of your uneventful work afternoon towered over you.

Very quiet, you thought.

Too quiet, you complained silently.

And it was unusual that nobody was here. In the two years you had worked at the café, the only times nobody had come in was in the midst of summer, and even then, there had usually been at least one person at a time. So, this was very odd. If Chaehyun had been here, she would have told you to not question God’s gift of a minute of peace and quiet. However, this wasn’t a minute, it had been minutes. Plural. On top of everything you enjoyed working as a barista, even if it was stressful at times, at least there was always something to do. Well, apparently almost always.

At the beginning of your shift, your boss had asked you if you would be fine alone for a few hours today, you had agreed reluctantly, as it could have very well gone wrong, but now you were glad that you had not insisted on anyone else coming in. You knew Hanbin was busy with dance practice, and that Chaehyun had been excited all week for a date she was going on today. Having one of them come in unexpectedly and then do nothing all afternoon, would have been not only a waste of their time but also of your boss’ money. So, you supposed, it was fitting for this particular Friday to be slowest day ever. Even though it meant boredom for you. Oh my god, this was going to be a long afternoon.

Time was passing three times as slow as it usually did. In the past 15 minutes you had been sure three times, that it was time you started the closing duties, only to realize that merely a handful of minutes had passed. You had grown so impatient with today, that you considered turning the time forwards, so that you could close early ‘on accident’ and go home. Of course, as an amazing employee you would never do anything like this ever, but it sure crossed your head once or twice (or three times actually). Sighing at the clock once more, you retreated back to your position with your head resting on the counter as you wait for the seconds to creep by.

Immersed by the ticking of the time and so busy tapping the rhythm of the melody stuck in your head that you didn’t notice someone approaching the shop, until the bell announced his entry.

“Hi,” a rather low voice greeted as you scrambled into your usual upright position behind the counter.

“Hello!” You smiled at the young man in front of you. He must have been around your age, maybe a little bit older, but that was judging by his voice. His appearance was sweet and youthful, his smile bright, his hair a little messy, but just the right amount. Charming. He was the kind of boy that would star in a Taylor Swift music video. Classic friends-to-lovers. You had to suppress a small giggle at the thought of it.

In the moments between his greeting, your greeting and the Taylor Swift fantasies, your brain still found the time to wonder what his order would be (it worked fast like that). Maybe something classic like an iced americano? Or something unexpected like a strawberry latte? You had been so bored, alone the thought of making a drink excited you beyond reason.

“What can I get you today?” you asked with a practiced, but this time more genuine than not, smile on your face.

“Oh,” He looked a little lost, you noticed only now, fidgeting with his hands in front of him, “I was just going to ask whether or not it was okay for me to set up for busking in front of the café?” He turned around, pointing to the small open area in front of the unoccupied seats.

 It was a nice spot for busking, the shade from the trees making it cool enough to perform in the summertime as well. Your eyes darted to the guitar bag slung across his shoulder, lips caught between his teeth as he expectantly waited for your answer.

“Oh. So, you don’t want a drink, huh?” You really tried to suppress the disappointment, but judging from the look on his face, you weren’t doing a good job. Well at least you would soon have some sort of entertainment. And who knows, maybe he was so good, he’d bring in some customers.

“Do I have to buy a drink to be allowed to busk?” His eyebrows shot up, his expression changing from sweet to curious.

“What? Oh, no that’s okay. You can go ahead.” You smiled at him, nodding to the small square in front of the café.

He smiled slightly, determined to satisfy your need to prepare a drink for him, “Actually, I could use a little bit of a refreshment.”

Matching his expression, your face now showcased a bright smile as you handed him the menu. You weren’t sure if he could tell how grateful you were to finally be able to do something other than stand around and check the time, but you tried to show it to him by whipping back and forth slightly, stealing glances at him as he decided. You waited patiently as he studied the menu, tongue poking out between his teeth. He was cute, in a clueless kind of way.

Some time passed, but nothing compared to the amount you had been standing around until your saviour in the form of a busker came into the café.

Finally, he lifted his head, adjusted his guitar, slung over his shoulder, and cleared his throat, “Actually, could I maybe get a bottle of water?”

You were about to cry. A whole menu full of drinks ranging from coffees to mochas to fruit teas and smoothies, and this man wants a bottle of water? You were sure he could see the disappointment written on your face once again as he looked up from the small piece of paper in his hands.

A somewhat apologetic smile rested on his lips; he knew what he did.

“Water?” you asked again, just to be sure. Just so that you didn’t misunderstand and accidentally got the man a water instead of the strawberry matcha latte he just ordered.

“Uhm… I-Is that not possible?” A nervous smile was present on his features. On any other day, you probably would have noticed that the boy in front of you was quite literally a nervous wreck; Not only would he be busking in a new area for the first time, but his friends had also convinced him to go ask the cute barista if it was okay to play in front of her café, although he knew it was more than okay and even encouraged by the owner. Still, he did it out of curtsey, and not to finally have a reason to talk to the girl. He had had several pep-talks from his friends, as well as his mother (although she didn’t know what the peptalking was for), just to stumble over his word when ordering a water? Taerae, you really can do better.

“Water is free.” That interrupted his mental face palm as you smiled politely and pointed to the jug to your right. It was filled with fresh orange and lemon slices as well as mint to give the water a little something. Usually, the taste of the fruit would not be that strong as it would get refilled and emptied quite quickly, but today it had been standing around for a while, so you were sure it would actually taste a bit like the citrus and herbs floating inside of it. You supposed the boy would be in for a treat.

“That’s nice.” That’s nice?

“Do you need a cup for it to take it outside?” As you were speaking, you already turned around, grabbing one of the paper cups and a pen ready to write his name on it. You realized it was unnecessary to do this for a mere cup of water, but in all honesty, you were just as intrigued by the man in front of you, as you had been disappointed by the lack of creative drink-ordering; You wanted to know the name of the man that gave you hope just to take it all away from you again.

“What’s your name?” you smiled innocently, already setting the pen down to write as you looked at the man through your lashes.

“Oh. Uhm Taerae.”

You chuckled, “Okay, Oh-Uhm-Taerae,” you handed him the cup, “Enjoy your water!” you winked at him, smiling as he filled it up.

Taerae was a blushing mess. How was he supposed to perform in front of the café now? And also, why would he have ordered water? Of all things, he could have ordered, he asked for water. Wow. For a moment Taerae wondered if it was more embarrassing to play in front of here now, or to just leave and never set foot into this part of the city ever again.

Taking a sip of his water he set down his guitar and finally let out a dramatic sigh, he didn’t realize needed to leave his body right this second. There was not much to his busking set up, just him and his guitar, a stool, and a small speaker. Taerae used to have a booklet with all of his favourite songs, but he knew them by heart now, so no need to hide behind the notes. Matthew always said he would hide his face behind the pages, and when he first performed without it there had been twice as many people, not because he was better, but because people could see his smile. Taerae wasn’t so sure that that was the reason.

Today he seemingly would be playing for an audience of two. Himself and you. You who had been watching his ever move during his set up, as you were wiping down the already clean tables. If he hadn’t been so nervous, he would probably say this was his favourite way to meet new people. In fact, he had met almost all of his best friends through music; be it busking or the choir at his high school, or even just bonding over their favourite artists, music had always brought people into Taerae’s life. So Junhyeon’s theory to just go and ask if it was okay to play in front of the café as to finally talk to you, should have been fool proof. Count on Taerae to mess it up though. He debated whether or not he should text the group chat and ask for some moral support and customers for the café, but ultimately decided against getting teased to death by his favourite tormentors.

The sun was getting lower and lower as Taerae procrastinated starting to play. He could feel as the anticipation radiated off of you. You had settled back behind the counter, still watching him as he pretend to tune his guitar for the nth time. Taerae couldn’t hold eye contact with you for longer than an accidental moment, if had been able to, he would have seen the amused smile on your face as you sipped on a glass of water yourself. Taerae had his ‘Oh-Uhm-Taerae’ titled cup sat on the ground beside him. He had blushed even more when he had realized how you had teased him and was sure you’d get along great with Junhyeon once he introduced the two of you. If he got to ever introduce to his friends.

He was sure by now you could tell he was stalling, so with one last look around the area, and one last sip of his wonderful water, he strummed his guitar.

*

Music attracted people like honey did flies. Over the years you learned that whenever busking was held in front of the café, the customers would float through the doors, order drinks, and relax to the live music. But as the first notes of Taerae’s singing reached your ears, you wished that nobody would come to distract you from his voice. For the first time today, you wanted nothing but be left alone with the boy and listen, maybe sway through the small room a bit. But sure enough, the first song wasn’t even over, the sun hadn’t even retreated further towards the horizon, its light still bright and strong, not yet soft, and golden, when the first couple came strolling by, and after a short moment of weighing their options, the woman sat down outside, her attention undivided on Taerae, as the man came inside to order their drinks. You sighed softly as your focus on Taerae shifted to the coffee machine, it sound muffling his voice as you grinded coffee ground after coffee ground. Out of the corner of your eye, you could already see the next person enter the shop, still half looking at the performer outside. Now, it would be busier than usual, you were sure. You smiled softly, be careful what you wish for.

*

Taerae was happy he could bring you some business. He was also happy that your very distracting eyes didn’t linger on him quite as intensely as they did during his first song. It had been a successful busking for him even after his first struggles. The sky had eventually turned darker and darker, and the air had gone crisp with the last goodbyes of what once was winter. With more and more people leaving it was time for him as well to wrap up. At one point there had been so many people, it was almost impossible for Taerae to see the front of the store, making it difficult for him to confirm that you were still watching, paying attention to him. The awkward interaction out of his mind, he was happy to catch you look at him during any free moment of your now busy work afternoon/evening.

*

When Taerae started to pack up, the café was already closed. He hadn’t seen you leave, but there had been so many people around, he easily could have missed you. Besides, there was always a chance of a back entrance or something of the like. On the one hand, it was nice that he now could relax and not worry about embarrassing himself again in front of you, on the other he really wanted to know what you thought of his songs; Whether or not you liked them, if it was okay if he came back and played again, if he could take you out to dinner. The usual after busking questions really.

Zipping up his guitar, Taerae got ready to leave. He could still feel the guitar strings giving way and embedding themselves under his fingertips, that’s how he knew it had been a good session. It was quiet now that he had stopped playing, no spectators left but the first cicadas welcoming the night-time. Taerae would have just left if it hadn’t been for jingle of keys followed by a soft “Wait a moment” that caught his attention.

He turned and sure enough there you were, bag slung over your shoulder, hair tied out of your face, revealing a smile and gleaming eyes.

“Hi,” you smiled.

“Hello,” Taerae reciprocated.

You handed him the takeaway cup you were carrying, adorned with a neat ‘Oh-Uhm-Taerae’. You smiled as he raised his eyebrows at the nickname, his own heart swelling at your chuckle.

“It’s tea,” You explained, “I figured you could use some after singing all afternoon.”

He nodded, bringing the beverage to his lips. The stark contrast of the cool May night and the heat of the tea made him realize how his body had cooled down, “Thank you. It’s nice.” There he goes again with his nice. He rolled his eyes at himself.

“Well, that’s good! I can make more than water, you know?” you smiled, “Anyways, thank you for today, you brought in more customers than any other busker has thus far. In the name of my boss and his business, I wanted to invite you back to play again. Preferably Tuesdays, Thursdays, or Fridays in the afternoons. That’s when I work.”

Taerae should have acted cool and said something like, I’ll see if I can make it, or I will if my schedule allows it, but instead he just laughed and nodded ‘okay’. He didn’t trust his own voice right now; it would probably give away his excitement.

“Good,” You smiled satisfied, “Then I’ll see Tuesday, Oh-Uhm-Taerae.” You turned to walk away.

“Just Taerae is fine!” He was not going to have his crush call him Oh-Uhm-Taerae.

If he had been any smarter, he would have just said ‘Taerae’. In fact, if he had been smarter, he would have not stuttered saying his name in the first place. But Taerae was Taerae, and you were you.

So, turning around, but not stopping your walking backwards, you smile mischievously, “Alright then, Just-Taerae, see you Tuesday!” you could see his mouth opening and closing in retaliation, but before he could say anything more, with a slightly louder voice you said, “I’m just Y/N, by the way.”

Taerae watched as you waked away, smiling to himself, sipping on his tea, skipping on the way home. He had now been officially introduced to ‘Just-Y/N.’

2. i like you

Another Thursday, another busking event for Taerae in front of the café. It had become somewhat of a tradition for him to play at least once a week when you were working. After each time you’d come out with a cup of tea, which had evolved to iced as May progressed into June and with that spring into summer, and the chill of the nights was more welcomed as a contrast to the hot daytime. Sometimes the two of you didn’t talk much, or hang out, be it due to university or other plans, but most of the time you’d spend the better part of the night walking around, trying new food spots, or just talking and hanging out in front of the café, munching on the left-over pastries of the day. Either way, Taerae was glad to see you at least once a week, and thus the two of you went from strangers to close friends.

This Thursday in particular you had something planned, as you had let him know beforehand. Taerae was excited, a little bit nervous even, it was unusual for you to plan something, normally having Taerae decide what the two of you would eat and do. He was very good at reading people, and he’d usually figure something out that fit with both of your moods.

But not today apparently, today you had decided, and Taerae had no idea what it was so, yes, he was a tad bit nervous.

The daylight stretched until well after 8 p.m. and with the café closing at 7.30 p.m., Taerae made sure to get his guitar and busking stuff home before you were done finishing up at the café. He had been so careful with planning his schedule, that he now arrived back at the square a little early, you were still working, getting drinks to customers, preparing the last slices of cake in the soft pink take-away boxes, smiling at children, laughing at unfunny jokes customers made. He was in awe of you. How could a person be so dedicated to their part-time job? And it was not only at work that you were diligent, more than once had Taerae spent and afternoon studying with you in either your or his universities’ library. The focus you were able to uphold was something Taerae was almost jealous of.  He was jealous of you because you still could concentrate, even if he was around, something he struggled with whenever you were in sight. He had also been jealous of whatever you were focusing on. What in the world could be so important for you to focus on, when he was right there next to you. When he was your… friend?

It frustrated Taerae to no end that he did not have the same effect on you, as you had on him.

Sure enough, after another few minutes of waiting the familiar jingle of keys rushed Taerae out of his head, back down to earth. Back down to real you, not head you. He liked both versions equally, so he wasn’t complaining.

You grinned at him as you made your way towards the boy, “Hi.”

“Hello,” he greeted with suspicion. The expression on your face was foreign, but it really couldn’t mean anything good for Taerae, as it reminded him too much of Junhyeon’s scheming face, you were scheming. In Taerae’s head there were only two options; Either you were planning some intricate prank with his friend, or you were planning something sweet, far from a prank, and Taerae would spontaneously confess in a waterfall of words and your newfound, yet very precious friendship, would suffer from it.

“Why do you look so anxious?” there was a somewhat nervous smile on your lips, eyebrows scrunched up in worry as you handed Taerae his post-performance-beverage.

Taerae shook his head, “I’m not. I just don’t want to get murdered by you. So, before we go, I just wanted to remind you that my voice is a gift to the world, and if you are planning on un-aliving me today, that you’d be taking it away from the whole world and everybody would be mad at you.”

You looked at him, a half scoff, half laugh escaping your lips.

“I’m serious, Y/N. I’m sharing my location with Junhyeon this entire evening.” Taerae crossed his arms in front of his chest, awaiting your reassurance that in fact you were not going to kill him.

“What makes you think Junhyeon isn’t in on the plan?” you smirked, while Taerae’s expression fell.

This joking manner was one of the only times Taerae could look at you without his heart combusting or his eyes diverting as soon as they met yours. And while you were laughing at your very lame retaliation, he had time to take you in. It was beyond Taerae how someone could make him so nervous yet so at peace at the same time.

“Come on now, Taerae” you smiled leading the way towards the metro station, “have a little faith in me, yea?”

If only you knew the amount of faith he had in you. So, of course, Taerae followed.

*

Laughing and joking the two of you discussed all the songs Taerae played today. Thus far he had not played your request, which, like every time after a performance, you let him know by complaining excessively.

The station way bustling with people going home from work, students finding their way to their after-school-studies, and people like you; Looking for activities to end the day on a relaxing note. Out of instinct Taerae placed his hand on your lower back, guiding you through the sea of people towards the train as you were rambling on about this week’s songs and the lack of your favourites (although any song sung by Taerae was your favourite, but not that he needed to know that just yet).

Whenever you and him were together, you had noticed that you forgot the rest of the world existed. Not necessarily in the way, how everything else goes blurry and your focus was solely on him, but rather that real life just slows down a little bit. Whenever you were with Taerae, everything else just seemed less important, far away.

He, however, seemed always grounded. Even when you were excitedly babbling on, Taerae simultaneously smiled and made sure you weren’t in anybody’s way, yet still matched your energy and made sure to react to you. You never understood how he could be so focused on the rest of the world as well. It was especially frustrating because you could either focus on him entirely, or not at all; for you with Taerae it was an all or nothing situation.

*

The train was more or less ripping at its seams when you got on. You always wondered how so many people could fit in such a confined space and not get squashed. You had hoped that due to the nice weather and the rather late hour, it would have been a little emptier, but no, clearly nothing beats the AC of a subway. The hopes of a seat after a long afternoon of work had been abandoned a long time ago, as you got pushed closer and closer towards Taerae.

In all honesty, the boy was panicking. He didn’t know where to put his hands, what to hold onto as to prevent the both of you from falling at each halt the train took. His only hope was for the crowds to thin once the next big transfer point arrived. But until then? He wasn’t sure how to keep standing upright and breathe properly, with you this close.

“Y/N?” Taerae whispered barely audible.

“Hm?” You looked up at him, waiting for him to continue.

But just as Taerae started to speak, you saw the man behind him stand up from his seat. In an effort to not notice how close Taerae had been, you had heard him grumbling to himself how packed the train was and that he could get off at the next station and walk the rest home, but that had been three stops ago. Now that he was actually getting up, you had to act fast. The man pushed past you and in a swift motion you pushed Taerae against the seat, making him sit down with a thump.

You smiled at him triumphantly as his big eyes looked back at you. The man getting up and you pushing Taerae had happened so swiftly that, Taerae hadn’t noticed he had grabbed a hold of your hand as to not lose balance. And you hadn’t either, smiling happily to yourself as you stood in front of Taerae, shielding him from the masses.

Taerae however, would not have you stand when you had been the one working almost all day. He pulled you towards him, getting up at the same time. To spectators it might’ve looked like a twirl, a spontaneous dance on the subway. Well, as a result, you were now sitting and Taerae was leaning over you, satisfied with the change of position.

For a moment there had been a smug grin on his face, but it was soon wiped away by a blush, as he noticed a group of students squealing next to you, whispering to each other and giggling. You too had looked away from Taerae in an attempt to hide your flushed cheeks. But Taerae noticed. And he smiled.

*

From this moment on, the train ride seemed to go on forever. The crowd thinned as your stop approached and soon only a handful of people were in your compartment. Taerae had sat down beside you, taking one of the high-school girls’ seat once they got up and left, but only after they had made sure Taerae did in fact sit down next to you and not anybody else. It was kind of sweet. Still, you couldn’t look any of them in the eye as they got off the train.

Finally, your stop arrived and in a swift motion you got up. Taerae was excited too, he still didn’t know where exactly you were going, but now he at least knew the broad area; The stop was a little towards the edge of the city, where parks and playgrounds dominated the cemented roads. It was a nice change of scenery, and Taerae welcomed it.

Coming up above ground, he noticed how quickly the sun had set, the sky only showing remnants of the bright day at its horizon. You had stopped a few paces in front of him, finding it hard to regain orientation somewhere you hadn’t been in such a long time.

“Where to first?” Taerae asked, curious as to where you could be going this late. You had let him know beforehand that there would not be a grand meal today, and that he should eat something in between busking and your… date?

“The convenience store.” You explained, once you saw the small corner store you used to visit as a kid, “To get ice cream, naturally.”

So, the two of you made your way towards the store and after a few minutes of weighing options and discussing preferences, Taerae and you had decided on green-tea ice cream, and a caramel flavoured one.

“Okay, ice cream secured,” you smiled at Taerae exiting the shop, “Now, Mr. Kim, I shall show you one of my favourite places of all time.”

“What an honour.” He smiled as he tagged along, catching up with you as you started in the direction of a small park.

It had been a little later than you had anticipated, making it a little harder for you to find the exact spot you were looking for. The trees were practically pitch black, and although there were a few lanterns lighting the way, they were too little and too far apart to actually help a great deal. The gravel crunched beneath your shoes as you snacked on the ice cream and made your way further into the green.

“There it is!”

As soon as the small wooden pavilion was in sight you tugged on Taerae’s sleeve to hurry. He had to admit, he wasn’t sure why you were this excited about a wooden structure in a park, at the other end of the city. He thought it was adorable, nonetheless. Coming up the small hill he saw that the pavilion overviewed a small pond, where this time strategically placed light illuminated the water surface.

“Nice, is it not?” you teased, smiling up at the boy. Reacting to things with a quick ‘Nice’ had become an inside joke between the two of you, well for you mostly; It was fun for you, but Taerae usually just rolled his eyes.

“It is.” He confirmed, “But why exactly are we here? I mean don’t get me wrong, I absolutely adore being squeezed together on a train for more than half an hour and then sitting in a park. I’m just wondering.”

“Careful, Taerae,” you narrowed your eyes at him, “I could still murder you and dump your body in the pond.”

He laughed., “No but seriously, what is this place?”

“I’m not sure. I just stumbled upon it one day during my first week of uni. It was strangely familiar and when I talked to my parents about it, they said we used to come here when I was a kid,” you shrugged, “It’s nothing super special but I just wanted to show you.”

Taerae smiled at you, and you smiled back. It was one of these quiet moments you shared. Your friendship thus far had been filled with laughter and music and teasing, but every once in a while, a quiet moment like this made it special. Until someone decided to break the quiet, of course.

“You should have told me; I would have brought my guitar. Properly serenated you.” He pouted.

“No more serenating, I’m growing sick of your voice Taerae, for real.” You mocked, laughing.

This only made Taerae pout more, pushing your shoulder slightly.

The sound of your laugh faded, and Taerae observed a shift in your manner. The look you gave him in that moment sent a shiver down his spine and for a moment he wondered whether or not you had been actually joking about murdering him or not. You looked so unsure and serious, Taerae had never seen you this way.

In your life, not many days had gone your way. You weren’t sure if there were going to be a lot in the future that would. But you really needed today to go your way. Needless to say, you were worried. Of course, there had been another reason you had brought Taerae here; It wasn’t simply because you wanted to show him one of your favourite places, it was a reason as well, but not the only one. But now that you had to put your plan into action, you worried. You had been scared of your body reacting this way just before this moment. Your throat had dried up and your hands were slightly shaking and your heart, oh dear, your heart was going as fast as ever. Maybe you should just cancel the original plan and just, come up with a plan B? Was this a good idea? Did you really need to do this now?

If anything, the troublesome journey here had only confirmed your plans for today. So yes, you really had to get it off your chest, you quite literally couldn’t keep it in anymore. From the moment you saw Taerae today, to you grabbing his hand and not letting go (as if that was on accident), from the highschoolers, and everyone else on the train, as well as in your co-workers and friends, seeing what was right in front of your eyes. You just really had to tell Taerae.

“Hey, actually, there’s another reason I brought you here,” you forced a reassuring smile onto your lips, as to not worry Taerae.

You were terribly failing at not worrying Taerae; As his mind raced through all his possible wrong doings so that he could predict what horrible thing you were going to say, he kept quiet and anxiously waited for you to continue.

“Well, I wanted to bring you here because, I mainly associate this place with incredibly happy memories and I just wanted that to be a good omen, I guess.” You were stalling. You knew that. Taerae probably knew that.

But Taerae also felt relief. It can’t be anything horrendous when you want this place to be a canvas for good memories right? No, right?

Taerae didn’t say anything. He watched your every move as you turned towards the dark that spread across the small body of water. He heard you let out a deep sigh.

This might go incredibly wrong. It might go amazingly right. Either way, you had to say it.

“Taerae,” you started finally turning to the boy, “There’s no going back after I say this, but just know that it’s okay if you don’t feel the same, I just need to tell you, okay?”

A small smile spread across his face. Oh my god. He knew where this was going. He definitely wanted it to go there. He nodded for you to continue. In the moments between his motion and you starting to speak he thought about how he had failed as a musician. He sang love songs as a passion, he had been singing them as a hobby for years, he studied music at university, he was pouring out his heart to anyone who would listen, confessing to you every Tuesday, Thursday, Friday afternoon through the one language he knew, the one language that felt safe to him. Yet, here you were, about to confess to the boy who had been singing to you for weeks-

“I like you. As more than a friend.” You offered him a nervous, crooked smile. The words leaving you lips much faster than you had anticipated.

“That’s such a relief.” He answered.

“Huh?” You looked almost scared, the blood draining from your face. Was this his way of rejecting you? No, he didn’t look apologetic at all, no pity in his eyes.

“That means all the love songs I’ve been performing have not been in vain.” He smiled taking a step towards you, brushing a stray strand of hair behind your ear, “I like you, Y/N. And I’ve been trying to hold it in, so you can’t even begin to imagine how happy I am that I can finally tell you.”

If it were possible for human eyes to form themselves into hearts, yours would have changed by now. Whatever this man triggered within you, made your heart overflow with feelings, “Thank god.” You answered, making both him and you laugh.

In your nerves and relief and happiness, you hadn’t realized how impossibly close he was by now, even closer than he had been on the subway. You could feel his breath on your face and the warmth of his hand on your cheek. One last smile spread across Taerae’s lips before he finally leaned in to connect your lips to his. You met him in the last millimetres, eager to finally kiss.

It wasn’t perfect by normal standards; The two of you laughed and smiled into each other. You were a little awkward with your limbs, and a little too out of breath to be still considered sexy. Still, it was perfect because it was just the two of you. It was perfect because it was Taerae. It was perfect because it was you. It was perfect because you liked him, and he liked you.

The night was calm and cool when you and Taerae first shared a kiss. The sun had set, and the stars were watching, as your friendship bloomed into love.

3. when you love someone

Summer had been long and lovely, and now Autumn was just around the corner; it was so close, you wouldn’t be surprised if all the leaves had changed colour once you got off this never-ending shift. Taerae’s eyes followed your body as it moved from table to table with full drinks and plates with pastries and then back to the counter with empty dishes and new orders. The memory of the quiet café on the day the two of you first met, was a picture unimaginable, as the small interior was now buzzing with customers. To think you had wished for more customers on that fateful afternoon, when now you hoped the swarm of people would just evaporate in front of your eyes. To describe this time of the year as hectic would be an understatement; Just before university started up again, the café turned into a spot for last goodbyes between parents and now young adults, as well as spot for catching up after the long summer months for friends, who had come to return to their studies.

Taerae had been waiting for quite some time, he was lucky enough to had spot a free table, right when he arrived to pick you up. He had also been lucky since he didn’t actually have to queue for his drink; Taerae, just like all the other significant others of the employees, got the boyfriend/girlfriend treatment; Their drink of choice waiting for them as soon as they entered. By now, you were sure he had finished his drink, even though you hadn’t finished work. You were supposed to get off half an hour ago, but with the floods of people coming through your doors, you couldn’t bring yourself to leave Chaehyun and Hanbin alone, feeling the responsibility as the longest and most experienced worker, as well as the burden of being a good friend heavy on your shoulders.

Not only that, but also your boss had spontaneously decided to go on vacation a week ago and had left you in charge. Although it had felt good to be entrusted with this responsibility, you had not anticipated the amount of work it would mean. You had worked almost every day, having to postpone meetups and get-togethers with not only friends and family, but with your boyfriend as well. The two of you had barely seen each other this week, and thus you wanted nothing more than to leave with Taerae and curl up on his couch just as you had planned, but apparently your customers had a different idea: Whenever you made your way over to his table, somebody asked for some special drink that only you knew how to make. Or the cash register decided to spontaneously combust. It was almost comical.

Every now and again yours and Taerae’s eyes met, and you mouthed an ‘I’m sorry’, to which he just shook his head, telling you it was okay.

In all frankness, Taerae didn’t mind waiting for you at the café.

He loved watching you. It was all the interaction he had with you for the longest time before he finally asked to busk in front of the café. He loved watching you so much that if he had to put down his three favourite things in the entire world, it would be making music, kissing you and watching you while you went on about your tasks.

There had always been something magical in the way Taerae perceived you; He had gotten to know you so well over the past three months you’ve dated, that he felt even if he was simply looking at you, he was experiencing something special, a unique feature to your relationship.

 So, it was okay. He really didn’t mind waiting for you.

What he did mind though, was how stressed you seemed; How you always did everything for everyone, more than what they’d ask for, just in case they needed that little extra; How you clearly didn’t see when there was too much on your plate, and still space on someone else’s. Taerae knew that you tended to do everything by yourself, and didn’t want to worry anyone, but Taerae was worried about you. He wanted to be your resting place, to be helpful in some way.

So, when you had finally found a spare minute to come to his side, Taerae couldn’t wait to be of some comfort, to help make you feel a little better.

“Hi,” smiled softly at the man.

Instinctively Taerae’s hand snuck around your waist, pulling you closer for maximum body contact. You smiled as the familiar warmth spread inside your chest, making you instantly ease up a bit, feeling more at home on this busy day.

“Hello,” he greeted, smiling up at you. 

You just smiled at each other for a moment, tanking up on some well needed calm and support, which only your boyfriend could offer. Soon enough however, your gaze was stolen away by a couple that had just joined the queue.

You sighed, “I’m not sure I’ll be able to leave before closing.”

“That’s okay. I’ll wait, I don’t mind. We can go to my apartment after.” Taerae hoped you would agree, but he knew it was unlikely.

Your eyes were fixed on the clouds outside darkening the sky, making it seem later than it was, “Hm… Maybe you should go now before it rains. I’ll come right after locking up.” You smiled at him, cocking your head to the side. A cute habit of yours, Taerae noted, but he could still see the tiredness in your eyes.

Pulling his eyes away from you towards the looming downpour, he was almost convinced. He hesitated because he just wanted to make sure you were okay and would get home as soon as possible as well.

“Okay. But make sure to hurry once you’re done, okay? And don’t get rained on.” Taerae said while slipping on his denim jacket.

You nodded confirming his words and promising to get home as soon as possible, “The rain will be done once I’m off, I promise.” You smiled.

“Okay, weather fairy, I’ll see you at home.”

He planted a kiss on your cheek and got ready to leave, the next occupant of the table already making his way towards the empty space.

*

It had in fact not stopped raining by the time you had cleaned the espresso machine and wiped down most of the tables. Hanbin and Chaehyun had left a few minutes ago, running towards the subway station, in the spare moments the rain had eased up a bit, leaving you to lock up alone. Now the rain was back to its full power, slamming onto the pavement, windows, cars, and soon you as well. You were afraid the small umbrella you found in the back of the locker room would not do much to keep you dry and warm on the short walk to Taerae’s apartment, but it had to be better than nothing.

The storm was just about to regain its entire might when you left the safety of your workplace. Turning the keys, you felt the cold wind hit your exhausted legs, sending shivers up your whole body, and sending more than a few leaves on their journey towards the ground prematurely. You cursed at yourself for thinking that late-summer-thunderstorms carried the warmth, that mid-summer-ones did. Struggling to keep the umbrella upright, you wrapped the bright blue zip-up sweater you had stolen from Taerae’s closet closer over your body. If there had been any more wind, you were sure would have been blown away.

In fact, you had been so busy trying to not take off, you barely noticed a figure hurrying in your direction.

An out of breath Taerae appeared in the far distance, his silhouette not only blurred by the rain, but also the impressive velocity of his figure running towards you. In Taerae’s hand you could make out another one of his hoodies and a definitely more sturdy-looking umbrella, more than big enough to fit the two of you.

His cheeks and nose were red, even more so due to the red fabric of the umbrella, but mainly because of the unexpected cool temperatures. Taerae hadn’t been home long when he had decided to come and get you once the café closed. A decision he now noted as more than smart, having witnessed you almost fly away like Mary Poppins.

He couldn’t help the smile as he pulled you towards himself, underneath the little shelter his umbrella offered “So, this is where my favourite sweatshirt has gone to.” He pointed towards the fabric currently keeping your body just a degree away from a shiver.

Unfortunately, you had been right about your umbrella being bad at its job, the sweatshirt now thoroughly soaked, “Sorry,” You smiled innocently, “But hey, at least it’s clean now.”

Taerae shook his head, granting you refuge and additional warmth underneath his arm as he wrapped it around your body, pulling you as close as he could, “You could have texted you know?” he whispered in your ear, barely audible over the rain continuously slamming onto the thin fabric above the two of you. 

“I thought my equipment would suffice,” you confessed, although you knew your umbrella would have been unlikely to hold up to this kind of weather, “I’m sorry you had to come out to rescue me.”

“It’s what I’m here for, no? Serenating and rescuing.” Taerae smiled, his hair curling itself back to its natural state, “University student and professional busker by day, personal saviour and superhero of Y/N by night.”

You chuckled; he really was your hero.

*

Finally inside and in dry clothes, you let yourself fall onto Taerae’s couch. As soon as your body touched the soft fabric, the sleepiness started to set in. Between the bustle of work and the adventure of running through the rain with Taerae, your body had gone from low battery to out of it completely. The only thing missing right now was your boyfriend, who was making instant noodles and a cup of tea for the both of you, insisting that you had made enough beverages today to last a lifetime, and you couldn’t agree more.

The day had been so long, and just an hour ago you had wished for nothing more than for time to pass by more quickly, but now that you had actually had time to spend with Taerae, you willed the clock to slow down for a bit.

Now in the warmth of Taerae’s apartment, you didn’t mind the weather at all; The rain was still going, tapping onto the windows nonstop, and flooding the streets outside without doubt, but what did it matter to you now that you were able to rest with your favourite person in the entire world.

Speak of the devil; Taerae set down the bowl of instant noodles in front of, followed shortly by a glass of water and a cup tea.

“That looks so good, I could kiss you right now.” You smiled looking at food in front of you.

“Do it then.” Taerae turned his head towards you, expectantly waiting on the kiss you had promised.

You placed a quick peck onto the smiling boy and then started to slurp down your meal. It had been some time since Taerae had seen you so happy. It had been some time since Taerae had seen you, period. Not counting the café this afternoon, of course, but it really had been a while since the two of you had hung out alone like this. And Taerae would be lying if he said he hadn’t missed you. Just like you would be lying if you said you hadn’t been stressed out of your mind this past week. Just like you would be lying if you said you weren’t tired right now. Just like you would be lying if you said you hadn’t missed Taerae too.

“It was a really hard day today, huh?” Taerae’s voice was laced with worry, and it made you anxious. You didn’t want to worry him, there really wasn’t anything for him to worry about, he was helping as much as he could without worrying.

“It was okay,” you answered, a little too quiet for Taerae’s liking, “I’m just glad I won’t be in charge anymore next week.”

While Taerae believed that the majority of what you said was true, he wouldn’t have you downplaying your feelings like that. He sighed, “You don’t have to pretend with me, Y/N, you know? I’m here to help. I want to know when you’re stressed or feel bad or hurt.”

In the past few months that you and Taerae had been dating, it was made obvious on more than one occasion that your boyfriend’s love language was acts of service. Be it to drive you to your favourite bookstore, or to get you some medicine when you were sick. Taerae loved to just do things for you.

You smiled at your sweet boyfriend, your heart overflowing once again, “I know, it’s just… I can do this on my own. I don’t want to worry you.” You nodded to yourself, feeling a little exposed.

“I get that, but the thing is, you don’t have to,” Taerae took your hand in his, “That’s what it’s like when you love someone; I want to share the hurt and the burden and the stress. I want to do it for you, and I want you to do it for me,” his smile was faint, his eyebrows scrunched up slightly, “I’d rather worry with you, than worry for you.”

You weren’t sure what you had done to deserve someone like Taerae. Smiling you leaned into his side, resting your head into the crook of his neck, “Alright, I’m sorry.”

He kissed the top of your head as a response, triggering the warm and fuzzy feeling once again.

“Hey,” you whispered against his body, “I love you.”

Taerae hugged you tighter, engulfing you in all his warmth; the rain so loud against the window, the wind so strong, the building howled its tune, his words so soft they warmed you up from inside, “And I love you.”

4. so let’s love

Being in love was harder than you could have ever imagined. It was also simply more than what you could have ever thought it would be. It was more difficult, more intense, more complicated. But the more you felt it, the deeper, the stronger your feelings got for Taerae the more aware you got of your need for him.

Everything Taerae felt with you was new to him as well. In the past, Taerae had never had a problem figuring out how he felt, and he surely didn’t have any problems expressing his emotions. For Taerae, music had always been the easiest, most natural way to communicate. It was what brought him the most precious things in life: a purpose and you. But lately, it was difficult for him to encompass his love for you through actions or music. And he had a feeling he would struggle his entire life to put this into words.

*

The leaves had long turned brown, the weather had long switched from sunshine to frost, and Taerae had once more found his way home from a long day of classes, and an even longer week of not seeing you. Lately, he had felt something shift between the two of you, and he felt difficulty to raise the issue, to talk it out. He even felt difficulty to play it out, to sing it out, to just let his frustrations flow.

Of course, Taerae knew that couples fought. He knew it was normal for lovers to throw hurtful things at each other’s heads from time to time. He could list more than 10 songs that captured this exact feeling of defeat, when one hurts the person, they love the most. It was his hyperawareness of this fact, that made it all the more difficult to ignore the fact that you just did not fight.

It was not like the two of you would not have reason for conflict, but it always seemed like whenever the two of you were close to fighting, you shut down. Your passiveness got a hold of you, and you logged out of Taerae’s life until you were ready to forget about the reason you would have fought anyway. Whether or not you reflected and decided it wasn’t as big as a deal as it seemed at first, or if you just ignored the hurt, Taerae didn’t know.

What he did know however was, that this could not be healthy. Neither for you, nor for him. He refused to lose the love of his life over something such as the lack of fighting. All Taerae wanted was to love you. He wanted all that there is to a relationship, the love, the fights, the forgiving. He didn’t need perfect; he didn’t want perfect.

He was sure of his feelings for you, he had been for the longest time. Maybe he did love you more than you did him, but that didn’t even matter to Taerae. He was just worried, he’d lose you. He was so confident in his own love, he became insecure of yours.

So, on this day, on his way home from university, on his way to you, he thought about how maybe, he just wasn’t worth enough for you to fight with him. Maybe it wasn’t that you didn’t like to fight, maybe it was that he just wasn’t worth fighting with. And for the first time, these kinds of Taerae’s feelings made sense.

*

From the beginning of your relationship, you had been determined to give Taerae your whole heart. You wanted nothing more than to love the sweet boy to your heart’s full capacity. And the more you got to know him, the more your heart’s ability to do so grew. And with that your fear of losing him.

In your entire life, you had not really fought with anybody, ever. Of course, there had been disagreements and discussions, but most of the time you hadn’t deemed the topics worth fighting over. You had also had relationships before, none as serious as the one with Taerae, and they mostly ended amicably. Definitely nothing like any Olivia Rodrigo song. You intended to keep the number of break-ups you had had the same, although you knew realistically, the number of fights had to go up at some point, but thus far even disagreements with Taerae hadn’t proven annoying enough to fight over. All you wanted to do is love him.

You didn’t want to fight with him, or to worry him, or to hurt him. You just wanted to love Taerae.

So, on the day the temperatures had dropped as well as all the leaves, and Taerae used the spare keys you had given him to let himself into your apartment, to cook together, the last thing you had expected was to fight.

One look, out of the window and you saw the blanket of grey and white that threatened (or promised) to spill the first snow of the season. You had been waiting for Taerae to come home for some time now and had been working on some university assignments until the all too familiar jingle of keys announced his arrival. The first thing you heard right after the sound of the soft thump Taerae’s guitar case made when he set it down, was a sigh. And only then did you realize just how stressful the past month had been for the both of you. You and Taerae were both drowning in assignments and projects and that meant you spent the majority of your time in the library, as he did in the studio. It had been hard for you with work and university to find time to just be together, especially with a lot occupying both of your minds.

Communicating had never been your forte and you found it even harder to discuss your worries when the time you had together was so scarce. Taerae had been good at voicing his feelings and telling you when he was stressed but in the past days, he seemed a little closed off as well, so this sigh seemed to be a giveaway.

Still, worries aside a soft smile rested on your lips as he entered the kitchen, the table currently occupied by books and sheets of paper, your own little chaos ruling over the space.

“Looks intense,” Taerae chuckled as he made his way to you.

“It’s even worse than this looks in here,” you motioned with your finger to your head as you closed your laptop shut, standing up to hug your boyfriend hello.

Taerae kissed your cheek, taking in your scent. He noticed the hints of coffee scent in your hair, an indicator that you had worked the morning shift. He didn’t know you had worked today. You used to share your work schedule with him at the beginning of the week. Taerae knew you weren’t obligated to share your schedule with him, he wasn’t possessive like that, but just stopping to do so, irked him in some kind of way.

“You okay?” you asked as Taerae was staring off into space, and you grabbed a bottle of water.

“Yeah,” one look at you and he knew you didn’t believe a single word he just said, “it’s just the usual. Creative pressure and such.”

You cocked your head, the way you always did when processing things, thinking of what to say, “You sure that’s the only reason? You kind of seem a little off the past few days.”

He knew you didn’t mean it like an accusation. He knew that doing this, fighting, on grounds of you asking if there was anything else wrong was ridiculous. But Taerae also supposed it was as good a reason as any. Still, he didn’t mean the words to come out quite as harsh as they did.

“Yeah? You mean like how you don’t even tell me when you work these days anymore? Or what assignments you’re working on? Who you’re working on them with?”

One look and Taerae realized you were clearly taken aback by what he had said. Or how he had said it.

“I’m- I’m sorry, I didn’t realize you had to approve my schedule. I don’t mean to keep it secret Taerae, but I’m not talking about schedules or shifts, or even university. Something’s clearly bothering you.” Your brows were scrunched up and arms crossed.

Taerae scoffed silently, “Why…” he tried to gather the words in his head, to make them seem a little less ridiculous than they were, “Why won’t you fight with me?”

“Huh?” now you were taken aback. “Why won’t I fight with you? Maybe because there’s nothing to fight about?”

“Oh, come on, Y/N. I know you get annoyed when I stay in the studio for too long and don’t text you when I know you’re waiting for dinner plans or something. And I - I get annoyed when you just brush things off, but you always apologize even if there’s nothing to apologize for. Sometimes– Sometimes I just want to be annoyed with you and you should be annoyed with me as well for being annoyed.”

You frowned, what he said was true, even if you weren’t sure he was making sense 100%. In any case, these things just seemed inconsequential. Whenever stuff like that occurred you had been more worried than annoyed, sad maybe, but definitely not mad.

“What do you mean? I just don’t think these things are worth fighting over.”

Taerae closed his eyes, in the way he did when he couldn’t get the right chord combination, in the way he did to coordinate his thoughts, in the way he did just before letting go of a frustrated breath.

“See? This is what I mean. I just- It just feels like that to you I’m not worth fighting with.”

Now there was hurt on your face. Taerae didn’t mean to twist your words but it just, that is what it sounded like to him. This is what it felt like to him.

“I- That’s not what I said at all, Taerae,” Your tone had also changed. It was more straight forward, more matter-of-factly. Yet your eyes seemed desperate to just clarify this situation, so, you searched in his for some sort of doubt of his last statement, “You know that that’s not true, right?”

“I don’t know! It seems like it if I’m being honest,” his voice was just below a shout. Although it definitely didn’t seem angry, it was just as desperate as the look in your eyes. He tried to understand you, the way you tried to understand him, “It feels like whatever I do, whether it’s good or bad it doesn’t matter.”

“What? Of course, it matters. Taerae, you matter, so much!” You tried to hold the eye contact, but your emotions seemed to overflow, making it impossible to think and talk, but you tried anyways, “I am sorry, and don’t get me wrong, this is not me not wanting to fight right now, I’m just trying to understand- to make you understand; Never has anything you did not affected me. Be it negative or positive. I know we’ve talked about it but- you know I’m still learning, right? I just- I don’t want my feelings to be a bother to you. I don’t want me to be a reason for you to not do something. I just- I simply want to be a support for you. I don’t want you to have to worry about me and my feelings too, because I just- I so confidently want you. I just want to love you, Taerae.”

He looked at you, and you looked at him as you continued.

“Never did I mean to hurt you by not fighting with you. If you want to fight then okay, let’s fight. Let’s scream at each other and hurt each other, but I just- I just want to be able to love you through it all.”

You didn’t realize you had started to cry. And Taerae hadn’t realized how much it would hurt to see you cry. So, all he did was pull you close and engulf you in a hug.

“Okay. I’m sorry, too.” He was afraid of letting you go, as the thoughts raced through his head, as he tried to turn back time. He cursed himself for not realizing how much it sucked to fight. How much it sucked to hurt the person you love the most. “Okay, let’s love, okay?”

So, when the first snow began to fall, as it covered the rooftops and bare trees like sugar did pancakes, and a peacefulness settled after the first fight, you and Taerae decided to love each other, but also fight with each other, and cry and laugh with each other, and hurt and forgive each other. The both of you just prayed that you wouldn’t lose each other.  

5. i loved you

An unexpectedly cold spring night put you in an incredibly uncomfortable position.

One would think that at the end of April the temperatures would somewhat rise above 10 degrees, but to your disappointment, they had even dropped below zero. You didn’t know what had come over the city to still be as freezing as it was, but you couldn’t help but think it was your heart that had conjured up the unexpected mid-spring-ice-age.

The temperature wasn’t the only thing that made it difficult for you to get out of bed. It was also a simple lack of anything warm in your life. So, on the morning of this especially chilly spring day, you rummaged through your closet to find one of your warmest sweaters, to try and keep your body from going into hypothermia on your way to your opening shift at the café. Trying to distract you from the shivering even inside your apartment, you thought about the workday ahead, and what spices you would throw into your free morning coffee, when your hand grazed over what felt like your warmest, snuggest sweater. Satisfied with the choice, you grabbed onto the thick fabric and pulled it out, but not without a few other items falling out of your closet in the process.

Cursing at your own messiness, you at first didn’t notice that the sweater you had pulled out, was in fact, not one of your own. You had even been so distracted by the mess that was now on your bedroom floor, that you pulled the sweater over your still with sleepiness marked head, and diligently threw the stray items into the closet, shutting the door before they could fall out once again.

Only when you caught a glimpse of your own reflection, did you realize what you had just slipped onto your body. Comforted by the familiarity of the striped sweater, but startled by the memories it brought back. The scent of its owner still hung heavy in its fibre. You stopped to look at yourself in such a familiar, yet strange item of clothing.

If anyone had told you two months ago that it’d feel strange to wear Taerae’s hoodie in April you would have thought it would have been because of the warm weather, and not because Taerae had broken up with you just a couple of weeks before.

The fabric felt now heavy on your shoulders, and you sensed an all too familiar weight drop a little heavier onto your chest. You had done your best to go back to the life you had known before, but in the past two weeks you had been semi successful in achieving that: More than once had your co-workers caught you staring off into space, your gaze unintentionally fixed upon any busker in front of the café, your eyes even fixated on the spot when nobody was playing. With a gentle tap to your shoulder, Hanbin had brought you back to your task of making espresso shots, a routine that felt almost too easy to get distracted from.

You were well aware that you had had a life before Taerae. You just didn’t know you would have one after Taerae. In all honesty, you had hoped you wouldn’t have.

The most tragic part was, Taerae just hadn’t given you the closure one would need after getting broken up with by the love of their lives. He hadn’t really given you any explanation at all. Nothing more than a lot off bullshit, and a just-because. It was easy for most people in your life to go from loving to hating him, but even with the lack of sympathy for your situation, you found it difficult.

You had tried to hate him, you had tried to resent him even, but nothing had proven effective enough to erase your love for him. Taerae had been engraved into your bones. And now he expected you to just move on?

*

In hindsight, you should have seen it coming. At least that’s what you told yourself, that’s what you told your friends who were asking why the two of you broke up. Coming up with more than absurd reason of why you should have known, when in reality you simply couldn’t have. Because even in hindsight, you never could have seen it coming.

So, on the evening of, when Taerae had told you things weren’t working for him anymore, his face straight and not showing any emotion, not showing his signature smile, or even a tear; On the evening of, when you had begged Taerae to just tell you what you had to change, what it was you had done wrong and that you would fix them, if only he’d stay; On the evening of, when even after you had cried and shouted, he just took his guitar case and left; On the evening of the break up, you hadn’t gotten an answer. And neither had you in the two weeks since.

In fact, you had not seen Taerae at all. Or heard from him, not even through friends or social media. You wondered if he was okay, if he really was as unbothered as he had seemed, even though it was unnatural for him to act the way he did. You had always deemed Taerae a gentle person, but the way he ended things, was just so unlike him. So, he had to be not okay as well, right?

The lack of answers made you do something you had never had to do before, which was speculate and wonder. Taerae had always worn his heart on his sleeve and expressed himself so diligently most of the time, if not through words, surely, he would have done so through music. So, speculating about how he must feel now, was something you had never had to do. But now you caught yourself wondering all the time. You wondered how many things he thought about before the thought of you popped into his head. You speculated what the songs he was composing these days sounded like. Were they about you?

Either way, there was no hiding from him. Not for you, not just yet.

His presence, the imprint he had left on you followed you everywhere you went. The grocery store, the library, the café. Everywhere the memories of Taerae loomed over you. You wanted to forget him, so much to the point you had seriously considered hypnosis, if that was thing. It was like you could not, not consider him. He was so engraved in your brain; he was so engraved in your everything. You weren’t sure how to erase him from your everything, you weren’t sur how to erase him from anything. You weren’t sure you actually wanted to.

Still, the hurt you had felt the first few days was overwhelming, you couldn’t eat or sleep or do anything much other than run on autopilot. It had become so bad, that some of the regular customers noticed. It was almost like all life had been sucked out of you, and in a sense it had been; A possible future life had been taken from you. A future you had hoped for ever since you had met Taerae. A future you now grieved.

So, now looking at yourself in the mirror, the striped sweater hanging from your body, keeping it warm, felt like a glimpse of what if. A glimpse of Taerae. A glimpse of the person you had been when you were with him. A person you could have been, but never would.

For a second you wondered again, Taerae well established in your mind. But in the end, it didn’t matter. There was no use wondering and retracing everything you did during the last few days of your relationship. There was no use, because you did everything you said you would: You had loved Taerae, you loved him still, with your heart’s full capacity. Over the months you had fought and made up and hurt each other and forgiven the hurt. But now none of it mattered, so you might as well try and forget, instead of dwell and grieve.

So, with a swift motion you stripped the sweater off your body, exposing yourself once more to cold of the spring morning that had even seeped through the walls of your apartment. The frost making itself known in the form of icy crystals on your window. You didn’t look for another sweater, you wanted to feel the cold.

You weren’t sure what you had done wrong. But still, you knew more than you didn’t. You knew there was nothing you could do. You knew you would hurt for some time still. You knew you would see Taerae in buskers, guitars, and iced tea. You knew you would hear him in Hi-Hellos and the jingle of keys. You knew you loved him, and you knew it’d be a long time before you stopped.

So, for now you’d try to forget.

6. you were beautiful

There was a hum in the air, a melody that made its way through the busy streets of the city. The warm weather had finally decided to stay, and it stuck to the cement like chewing gum, barely cooling down overnight.

Taerae had kept himself busy over the past month, not really wanting to slow down, but with graduation coming up, also not really being able to do so. For him there had barely been any time to just stroll around, or go to cafes with his friends, or to simply just think; These days Taerae still didn’t really knew how to function normally, how to function like he did before you. Of course, he still had to perform, write, and produce music for university, but he rarely went out to busk or did these things for joy like he used to. It was something outsiders could have never noticed; How Taerae did everything but nothing at the same time. Only the people close to him, could tell something was up. They knew of the break-up of course, but they could only guess why exactly it happened in the first place.

In any case, it was evident that Taerae had closed himself off. He didn’t really talk to any of his friends about it, and neither did his songs show any reflection of what he felt. They hadn’t become bad, they were just cliché. Some of his professors even pointed out the shift in his lyrical style. But there was nothing Taerae could do; he was both too busy and exhausted to deal with his feelings.

Walking around in the area by his apartment was one of the only times Taerae consciously searched for some down time, to sort out at least some of his thoughts. Of course, he was cautious not to stray too close to your workplace, more for his own sake than yours. As of now, Taerae wasn’t sure how his heart would react if he was to come face to face with you unexpectedly. Ever since he had decided to break it off with you, he had barely fathomed to hold a single thought about you. He simply couldn’t conjure up enough courage to deal with his own heart break. So, up until now, pushing everything away would have had to do the trick.

He wasn’t sure what exactly had ticked off his thought process to recall the day of the professor-student conversation. Maybe it was the undeniable sense of Deja-vu he felt when he spotted a young busker, surrounded by only a small group of people, who were all listening carefully to the boy’s song. Maybe it was the girl listening, who from the back looked exactly like the one he loved. It could have been either of these two or another altogether, but in any case, Taerae knew, that maybe it was time to face this inevitable heart ache, even if just for the duration of this walk.

*

At the beginning of each semester, music and music production majors are required to sit down with one of their supervising professors, to discuss projects for the upcoming term. Most of these conversations were easy going, and the projects subject to change, but the conversation at the start of the second semester senior year was one equally feared and anticipated.

The senior project for music and music production majors was basically the making of an entire album, with full creative freedom. Taerae had been more than excited to get started on it, in fact, he had been so eager that the songs for his album were ready for recording as soon as his supervising professor approved of them.

So, yes, Taerae was a tad bit nervous entering the professor’s office. But he was generally well-liked and so were his songs, so he was sure this meeting would go over smoothly, and he would have to do nothing more than to put in a reservation to one of the student recording studios and was good to go.

And that was the case, partly.

Everything was going well; the professor praised his compositions and skills as a lyricist. The way he had described Taerae as someone to get across any type of feeling, made Taerae’s chest swell with pride. It wasn’t until the last few minutes of the meeting, when Taerae was supposed to thank the professor in front of him and get straight to work, that everything was pushed out of his rightful trajectory.

Taerae was about to get up out of the chair he had been sitting in somewhat tensely, when the professor said something, that in hindsight, put as many things into perspective as it pushed out of it. At least for Taerae.

“This girl must be quite the experience for you as a song writer.”

“Excuse me?” Taerae had said then, distraught, and genuinely confused.

The professor had then proceeded to explain how certain people, certain experiences, determined the colours of the artists in any art form. And that you, were certainly one of these experiences that would influence Taerae a great deal, even once the next experience would come into his life.

Looking back now, Taerae wasn’t sure why he had taken what his professor said so to heart. He definitely didn’t think of you as an experience. He didn’t think of you as something temporary at all. He didn’t think that there was any more evolving for him to be done, Taerae would have been good writing songs about you for the rest of his life.

But was this how the world perceived you? As an experience? Did he, through his songs somehow reduce you to something less than what you were, something temporary, something to live through and then move on?

From this point on Taerae couldn’t help but spiral in his self-doubt. Doubt for his love for you, and doubt for his skill of song writing. Thinking back on statements his friends had made, like how they would also write songs as good as Taerae’s if they had a Y/N in their lives, only confirmed his insecurities in his own love for you. Taerae somehow had gotten way into his head about it.

In Taerae’s mind it wasn’t fair to you. It wasn’t fair to make you an experience in his life. It wasn’t fair, when all you did was give, when you read his every thought and tried so hard to be better and learned with the mistakes you made, learned to love Taerae even more.

Taerae remembered that you had said you wanted nothing more than to love Taerae for the rest of your life, that he was your person. And all Taerae had done was make you an experience.

*

Lost in thought, a sigh heavy on his lips, Taerae hadn’t noticed the young woman listening to the busker turn around. She hadn’t yet looked at him, instead she was gushing about the music to the friend who had just joined her. Had the other joined the young woman any earlier, Taerae would have known in an instant that it was in fact you: the pink hair of your best friend and co-worker a dead giveaway. The two of you a duo Taerae found difficulty in separating, even during the days of you dating.

Chaehyun was whispering something in your ear, which made you laugh a little louder than you had anticipated, a hand coming to cover your mouth as you snickered in slight embarrassment. More than once had Taerae witnessed an interaction similar to this one, and looking at you now, made his heart ache with longing.

But he understood that that was something he wouldn’t be able to see again. He knew that he couldn’t really love you the way you deserved to be loved, so he wouldn’t try.

In the past, Taerae had always felt he was good at expressing himself. You had always promised him to get better at things, to learn the love Taerae needed. Without missing a day, you had told him you loved him. Sometimes first thing in the morning, sometimes it was the last thing he heard when he fell asleep. You had always thought of Taerae first, he had been the most important thing in your life, and Taerae had been well aware of this fact, you had told him more than once. Yet you still didn’t put pressure on the young man, you waited patiently on him in every sense. Maybe Taerae hadn’t been so good at expressing his feelings, maybe you had been the one very aware of your own feelings along.  

Watching you from afar, he wondered if you thought of him as much as he did of you. He wondered if everything the two of you had been, was something of the past to you, or if everything, if he, was still present in your life, if he still was something you had to consider, even if it was just to avoid him successfully.

*

The warm wind grazed over you, as it did Taerae, sending your hair flying in its direction. Your head turned towards the young man standing more than a few metres away from you, gaze fixed upon you. It took you some time to remember to not stretch out your arm and wave at him in greeting. It took you even longer to remember not to make your way towards the boy to greet him with a soft kiss on the cheek.

It also took some time for Taerae to not expect any of this from happening; looking at you now, you were a stranger he still loved.

But looking at him now, you realized he was a stranger you once loved. And thus, a small smile made its way onto your face as you turned away, interlocking your arms with your friend, and walking off into the direction of your workplace.

*

To Taerae it had always been interesting how people forgot, once it was over, once it was done. But Taerae would never forget what it was like to love you. He would never forget what it was like to be loved by you. How it was beautiful, how you were beautiful. Taerae would aways remember, he could simply never forget. Maybe someday, he would be fortunate enough to remind you again.

yay!! you made it to the end!! i hope that you were able to enjoy it despite the somewhat sad ending!! thank you again for reading and i’d love to hear your thoughts on it!! love youuuu

this piece was written by @yourstruleejn so please don’t post on any other platforms or translate into any other languages! thank u !!!

[purikkura]

collision report — s.hanbin

❪ ★彡 SYNOPSIS. ❫ ──── you've witnessed your best friend cause one too many train accidents, but never did you ever expect your heart would be caught in one.

❪ ★彡 PAIRING. ❫ ──── sung hanbin x gn!reader

❪ ★彡 WORD COUNT. ❫ ──── 2019 words

❪ ★彡 GENRE/TROPES. ❫ ──── angst... really bad angst, high school au (was tempted to set it at university, but didn't know how fitting that was <;/3), best friends

❪ ★彡 WARNINGS. ❫ ──── allusions to & mentions of death; reader's hella paranoid and delulu; hanbin's lowkey a red flag, but we choose to look past that

❪ ★彡 NOTES. ❫ ──── first fic... y'all, this took ages. i'm 98% sure there's no way i'll be able to pump out requests at a fast rate as most, but i'll try to get to that point. eventually. this was loosely inspired by doushite mo kimi ga suki da by akb48, hence why i brought up trains so often. get my sisters to 1 million on spotify, they're so close!! alternatively titled as 'heartbreak prince!'

You told him you’d be gone for no more than 5 minutes.

And usually, when you tell Hanbin things, such promises become your top priority—for no reason in particular other than that he was Sung Hanbin. Everyone liked Sung Hanbin, whether they’d admit to it or not.

Perhaps you stood ahead in line than others—reap the benefits of the title as his best friend, why not—but that position was distressing as it was rewarding considering all the train wrecks you had to witness practically firsthand. Cringing upon the first whiff of smoke in the form of heartbreak, you could only feel bad for that week’s victim who had fallen ill to Hanbin’s charms, who shoveled their nerves and confessed to him, sooted hands waiting to be taken by a pair as pure as his.

He never did. He never could; that, you knew very well based on the horrified looks he snuck over to you during the first few incidents. He’s gotten better at it, though—derailing the other person’s high-speed emotions, making it not as messy of a bloody blue ruin. As per every rejection, it ended with you two turning your backs and heading homebound together. Envy wasn’t always a green-eyed monster. It could also take on the form of a devastated high school student, eyes discerning the back of your head (rather than the obvious space between you and your friend) as though you had kicked dirt on them just then. Don’t you know better? The body’s still warm.

Homebound is where you should be right about now, but much to the shock of everyone else, you had a life outside of playing the role of “the one that always stands next to Hanbin; are they his significant other?” and, besides, you were people-pleasing elsewhere. Needing some last-minute material for an upcoming test, your teacher obliged the offer, but that meant taking time out of your day to actually confront them. You thought it would take no more than 5 minutes.

You told Hanbin that at approximately 4:37 PM.

It’s 5:23.

Perhaps on the way, you could sum up a valid excuse as to why you stayed way later than expected. Hanbin knew you were lagging behind in the class; he was the one helping you all this time, and it was more than likely that he was the one who tipped your teacher intel that you needed extra studying material in the first place. He tends to do that often. Care too much. Then again, you always tried to return the favor in other classes, no matter how bad you were, or, at the very least, attempted to buy or share your lunch. You physically had to fight to put a chip in his mouth once, which might or might not have resulted in choking, you profusely apologizing, and him simply smiling as if he didn’t almost befriend death.

It was the small things that made you love him.

Made people love him—you liked him a very normal amount.

. . .

Who are we fooling?

You were absolutely, tremendously, without a doubt, down terribly in the trenches in love with him! And it seemed everyone was well-aware, including your math teacher who not-so-subtly dropped the question only a few minutes ago, “Are you two an item yet?” Only problem was, you couldn’t tell the one person your feelings mattered most to. No, really, how could you? After every crush people have caught? After every crash he caused?

You weren’t willing to ruin what the two of you currently had. A relationship that exceeded mere acquaintances—one you always hesitated asking if it ever meant more to him. You even hesitated to ask someone else if they drew some sort of boundary with their friends when it came to physicality. It wasn’t uncommon for you and Hanbin to randomly entangle together, arms haphazardly overlapping with the other’s, however unintentional it may be. It was comfortable for the two of you, though perhaps not so much for passersby that looked at you with rage. A stark contrast between the way Hanbin looked at you with an unbelievable amount of tenderness.

. . . Regardless.

Hanbin was your best friend. 

You couldn’t leave him, and he wouldn’t leave you.

That’s what you thought before making it to the courtyard. No Hanbin in sight.

Huh. That was strange.

The thought of him leaving you…

Your shoes kicked into high gear while the sun trickled to disappear. As if a ghost of one of Hanbin’s victims possessed you, a surge of unbeknownst confidence compelled you to try. Because you were tired of standing at a railroad crossing. Because you were fascinated by train wrecks.

There was no doubt in your mind. You love Sung Hanbin.

Didn’t matter how other people felt or how anyone would look at you. You were practically first on the waiting list anyway; you should feel more than willing to announce your feelings to the world and let the wind carry your words over to him.

Thankfully, Hanbin takes extremely slow strolls, so you managed to catch up to him right when he crossed the railroad crossing. (That’s also strange. You guys rarely take this shortcut.) Unfortunately, you arrived right when the gates fell.

“Hanbin!”

All you could see was him. Him. Him. Him alone. You could already imagine how beautiful he’ll look when he turns around, unable to hear laughter blocked out by what sounded like a siren.

You called his name another time. Possibly another.

Though the last was cut off by the incoming train, bells ringing, severing the red thread that connected you two until parted by death.

You braced for impact, a grimace replacing your previous dazed expression, but all you really felt was the wind pushing you back. You think the universe saved you just now.

Then the ringing stopped. You opened your eyes, expecting him to initially chastise you for being so reckless before teasing you for saying his name like a lovesick fool. But all he did was stare at you. Sure, there resided some specs of endearment in his eyes—that would never change—but the rest of his features reminded you so much of the horror-struck looks he gave you upon every confession. All he did was stare at you.

Meanwhile, all you could do was stare at her.

You’ve seen her before. She’s pretty—long sleek hair adorned by a headband, an accessory Hanbin doted on in the past for a reason beyond your one-sided awareness.

However, it wasn’t the headband that drew your attention or made your eyes bulge out of their sockets. It was the space between them, or lack thereof when you noticed their hands glued together.

You must’ve stared long enough not to notice the gates rose, clashing with your confidence that diminished instantly right to the soles of your shoes.

You only picked your head up when he called your name, as gently as he could.

“Hi.”

“Hi,” he mirrored in the same nervousness.

Glancing between them was a difficult task not to do. “Sorry it took so long, I… had to get some help from my teacher.”

“You don’t have to apologize,” he made sure to say that first, sneaking a look to the side. It was still his part, and you knew this script far better than anyone else. “I’m sorry — I forgot to introduce you.”

You didn’t catch her name. That was, without a doubt, the least interesting part of his sentence. Still, the words ‘My girlfriend’ resounded perfectly in your ears.

“Oh.” Congrats, you incorporated your first-ever adlib in your role, but please, follow the script. “Since—since when?”

“Since now, I think,” the girl finally took charge of the lines, attentive to neither yours nor Hanbin’s broken expressions, but she (at the very least) picked up on the awkward situation unfolding. “I guess I asked Hanbin out a few weeks ago? And he said yes, but we didn’t go anywhere from there until today when I… asked him to walk me home.”

“A few weeks ago?” Your breath fell short despite saying only four words. 

Hanbin didn’t necessarily have the gall, but to better his conscious, he had to deliver an answer. “It happened in the middle of a convenience store.” Translation: he didn’t think that much of it.

“And you said yes?” Your voice was quiet. For the first time, Hanbin forgot what to say. For the first time, he forgot how to redirect the train. There was only one rail, and it was headed straight for the two of you.

Out of every confession leading up to now, this was by far the worst.

“Yes.”

At some point in time, he lost his girlfriend’s hand, but she delicately laced it back with his as pure reassurance, prompting him to add: “Yeah, I mean, I’ve been crushing on her all year. I figured, why not?”

He’s been crushing on her all year? He’s never mentioned that before, has he? If so, how could you not have possibly known?

“Why not…” Your body’s breaking down, losing function. “Why didn’t…” …you tell your best friend? Why didn’t you tell me you were on the cusp of killing your own best friend? “Why don’t you walk her home this week?”

That definitely wasn’t the response Hanbin was expecting, or wanted. But the director is intrigued, seeking confirmation as to whether their actors know their characters as much as they did, persisting in the change in script.

“What?” Anyone could’ve heard how his voice dejected an octave lower.

“Yeah… yeah, you know,” you trailed in, unsure as to whether you really meant what you were about to say, “I’m staying after to study for the test soon. I wouldn’t want you to walk home alone. Either of you.”

Hanbin convinced himself those last few words were rushed because the ones before were definitely a direct hit on him, and there’s not a second in this situation when he doesn’t regret saying yes to his girlfriend’s homeward request.

“You sure? I wouldn’t want to impose—”

“Are you serious?” He didn’t mean to interrupt his girlfriend as he did, and he especially didn’t want to sound as exasperated as he did. Nothing could stop your eyes from flashing a bit of concern; it was built into your system that Hanbin’s well-being was priority #1. “If you still need help, I could come over.”

Was he upset with you? Anger is common as far as human nature goes, but the genuine kind never rose between you and him. You’ve certainly seen him tense up in situations like confessions or tests even he didn't study for (no thanks to you), but did his shoulders always buckle so tight?

“I think you’ve helped enough.”

There, you’ve done it. Now, there lies two casualties. That red thread of fate did last until the very end.

“B-But I’m here now!” You sounded more enthused than you were. “And I don’t want to hold either of you up, so let’s start walking, yeah?”

You extended your arm, gesturing for them to lead the way. Part of you hoped he’d take your tainted hand instead, but he never did. He never could. His girlfriend had to tug for his body to finally react, and you witnessed his face surf through a plethora of emotions before settling on a forced cordial smile—one he used after every killing.

This moment felt all too familiar. Déjà vu all over again, only you felt out of place. This was a change in scenery. Rather than spotting the sunset, you watched as the couple turned their backs, your eyes boring into the back of an innocent’s head, who walked in the position you once had.

You were prepared to play the kicked puppy, a gate of tears ready for their cue. But you couldn’t, not when the boy who did away with your innocence walks already guilted with so many bodies, some that hadn’t even gone cold.

So, you never did.

You told him you needed all but 5 minutes. If it had been 5 minutes, would your life have been spared?

[leegemma]

hello! I hope you're having a good day :) can I request lee! yujin and ler! gyuvin and zhanghao with prompts 23, 27 and 39? thank you so much! 🤍

Thank you for your request! Unfortunately, this one turned out so so bad, and I'm so so so sorry. I was really tired while writing this, plus my English is not Englishing today :(

23 - “i thought that you said you weren’t ticklish.”

27 - “wow. you are super ticklish.”

39 - “oh, you’re not ticklish? i remember differently…”

-------------------------------------------------------

It was the first week after boys planet ended, and the boys were just getting settled at the dorms, they were all so happy to be together but were still getting used to the idea of what's about to come.

Especially Yujin, who is the maknae and has only just started attending high school. He was still feeling a bit akward with the older members as he felt he maybe was a bit too young. Yujin was afraid they would think of him as a baby who can't do anything, which of course was the farthest thing from reality.

But still, he tried to stay respectful while he got to know the other members.

Today though, the boys talked about going out for dinner together. Seeing as the youngest was still hesitant to open his mouth around them, Hanbin directly asked him if he'd like to join.

"I think I'll stay in, thank you for offering hyung." Yujin respectfully said as he shyly smiled at the leader.

Hanbin smiled and nodded, walking away. Of course his yuehua family noticed the change in the young boy, but they just thought he needed some more time until he's ready to show his true colors.

This time, apparently Gyuvin had enough of the shy, unrealistic yujin wondering around and about the dorms, he gave a glance to Hao, who immediately nodded back and pointed to himself and gyuvin as he spoke to hanbin.

"We'll stay too, hanbin."

Hanbin nodded and gathered all the other boys who were ready to go.

Hao went to stand next to gyuvin, who was glancing over at a very quiet and peacefull looking Yujin from a distance. "What's up with him?"

Gyuvin shrugged. "I've been trying to figure out but I don't know. Thought we'd get it out of him forcefully."

Hao raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean by forcefully?"

Gyuvin smirked and started wiggling his fingers in the air. "The way I always do it."

Hao shook his head with a smile. "Only letting you get away with it because I'm not the victim this time. Let's go."

And with that, the two boys walked over to where yujin was sat on the couch, watching cartoons. Not wasting a second, Gyuvin sat on the boy's hips and hao raised the youngest's hands above his head and sat on them.

It was all happening a little too quickly for poor Han yujin to comprehend.

"What are you doing?" Yujin stuttered, glancing up at the older boys.

"We're gonna tickle you." Gyuvin simply said.

"W-what?!? No... i- I'm not ticklish." Yujin shook his head and brought his hands In front of his body to protect him.

“oh, you’re not ticklish? i remember differently…” Hao hummed, a fond smile playing on his lips as he looked at the cute boy.

"Then un-remember!" Yujin commanded.

"Listen kid, rules are simple, you tell us what's been bothering you or we tickle it out of you" Gyuvin shrugged. "Personally I would have just gone with the second option but Hao hyung made me give you a chance."

"Nothing is bothering me!" Yujin insisted. He was now full on panicking.

"Take a deep breath Yujinnie, you're gonna need it." Hao laughed as he dug into the kid's underarms.

Yujin didn't even attempt to hold in his laughter and immediately started squirming as much as he could. "Nohohoho!"

“i thought that you said you weren’t ticklish.” gyuvin teased, starting to massage his big hands into Yujin's sides.

"I-I LIEEHED!" The younger confessed.

"Lying is bad!" Hao scolded, moving one hand to Yujin's neck and leaving the other in his armpit.

Meanwhile Gyuvin was starting to knead the rabbit's thighs and knees, making him go balastics.

"I CAHAHANT! PLEHAHAHSE!!" Yujin begged as he laughed loudly.

“wow. you are super ticklish.” hao noted.

"You gonna tell us what's wrong?" Gyuvin asked with a smile.

"Y-YEHEHES!"

"Well then go ahead." Hao giggled.

"Youhu have to stohohop first" yujin let out airy giggles as the two boys stopped.

"Five seconds before we start again. Talk." Gyuvin said with his eyebrow raised.

"Waihaht! Fine... it's just... I just still feel a bit weird with the other members. I feel like I only truly know you two and ricky hyung. What if the others won't like me?" Yujin confessed.

The older boys both awed and got off the maknae, hugging his close from each side. "Don't you even dare think like that, you're so talented and so sweet and kind, no reason for anyone to ever not like you." Hao comforted.

"Yeah, they already love you so much but even they can tell something isn't right! Zb1 wants to get to know their maknae yujin. Let them!" Gyuvin encouraged with one last poke to the boy's side.

Yujin giggled and nodded. "Thank you guys."

"Anytime. Sooooo... it'll be a good bonding experience if tell the others about this little weakness of yours, wouldn't it?" Hao wondered out loud.

Yujin's eyes went wide. "Don't you dare!"

[zerobaseonefics]

BLOOMING DAY

blooming day . . . day nine

note . . . AAAAAH 👹👹 i took a break from tumblr but i'm back!!! i'm so happy i can write again now <3 sorry for the wait and i hope you guys will enjoy itttt. ⚠️ mini mention of food towards the end?

taglist open <3 (if you want me to add you, send an ask so i can make sure i saw it!!) . . . @cherriegyu @kpoprhia @vhshyk @hikyeom @mins-fins @juyomiao @dwcljh @invuwrld @beomibeom @sulkygyu @lycheae @huipinkhair @luvseok1e @haesunflower @big-uwu-stan @harus-simp @zhounauts @jiaant11 @articxari @jebiwon @mashihope @taerrrrrae @ilovechanhee @ahnneyong @seok02 @honghongbri @justemalove @mposkyje @zhanghaoed @ihrtgw @partiallyderived @hanbinzfile @aesthetic-aryavartik @shentlngz @gyujaehyun

previous day | masterlist | next day

as much as hanbin couldn't stop thinking of the words you threw to him before running away from the laundromat, he couldn't stop thinking about the fact you were having a date with another hanbin today.

now, it was more than official, park hanbin had a crush on you. he never actually acted upon it before knowing sung hanbin also had a crush on you. did he really stand a chance against him? he was pretty sure he didn't, but your reaction when he asked you if you like the campus it boy was his sign to try something with you.

you loved park hanbin's dedication to dance, and park hanbin's dedication to dance was quite literally taking 97% of his time. he would come late to class because of this, he would head home late because of this, he would overwork himself because of this.

so it was only natural that he forgot about you guys' first date because of dance.

you sat there, waiting at the cafe he choose : the one where sung hanbin worked. it was totally on purpose that the dancer choose this place, secretly wanting to show his rival that any chance he could have had with you were now non-existent. but here you were, sitting alone, waiting for him as his said rival looked at you from afar.

after fifteen minutes passed with no sign of park hanbin, and that means not even a text, you started getting second thoughts. even if most people wouldn't care about your presence here, you were more than convinced that everyone knew that you were getting stood up by your date. nervously, you played with your fingers, looking at them as you considered leaving.

suddenly, the sound of a tray being put on your table was heard. you looked up to the waiter, aka sung hanbin, who gave you a drink with his well-known smile.

"i didn't order anything yet" you said.

"that's on me." he just replied.

"are you pitying me 'cause you know my date stood me up?"

"i'm hitting on you because i know your date stood you up."

you sighed heavily, letting your head fall on your arms, crossed against the table. hanbin looked around, looking for the presence of the other hanbin. he was still not here.

"would you mind me sitting down with you?" hanbin gently asked, looking at you still pitifully hiding your face in your arms.

"yeah, go ahead, make my day worse."

despite your words being harsh, he could read you were being inviting, which was different from before. did your discussion with him yesterday made you change your mind on him? carefully, hanbin took a sit on the chair facing you.

hearing him sit down, you raised your head to look up at him, before straighting up to sit properly. you shifted your gaze from hanbin to the drink he made, noticing he remembered what you ordered last time. unconsciously, a smile crept onto your face, making it finally light up. you took a sip from it before thanking him.

"so. did you finish your shift?"

"i should be done with it in 10 minutes."

"i'll leave in 10 minutes then." you said, taking another sip of the sweet drink.

"you're going home?"

you nodded. exams were going still far, but you knew they will come faster than what you expected. medical studies were hard enough to make you a hardworking person, despite not being interested in it at all. you just don't want to fail.

"uhm. i gotta study a bit since i took a day off from work today." you explained.

"still... it's a shame to simply go home when you made yourself look that pretty for your date."

what was supposed to be received as a compliment made hanbin earn a kick in the shin under the table.

"stop reminding me of this!" you dramatically cried out after the boy in front of you let out an "ouch!".

"i'm sorry okay! i just wanted to call you pretty."

"well, thank you." you said looking away.

as you took another sip of the drink, you didn't know hanbin was internally gathering up all his courage to ask you out on a date. questions were restraining him. what if it was too early? what if you're gonna feel like he's doing it out of pity? what if you laugh in his face? and then, he remembered jiwoong's word. "there's no way you can fall any lower". and he was right in fact, hanbin had nothing to lose. that's why he cleared his voice and decided to talk.

"but, you know, i could take you out on a date right now so your efforts for today won't go to waste."

but this is the exact moment where you phone started ringing. park hanbin. you looked at sung hanbin with hesitation, not knowing if you should take the call or not.

"you're not answering?" you were not sure if he was asking about giving an answer to his question or an answer to the phone call.

"it's him" you simply said.

"oh."

internally, hanbin wished you wouldn't take the call and would focus on him. you were still hesitant about whether or not you should take the call, considering the fact he had left you here waiting for half an hour. but you really wanted to know what he had to tell you.

but you missed his call now, because you took too long to answer. that's when you received a text.

sung hanbin was waiting for you to acknowledge his presence again when you suddenly took your eyes off of your phone.

"i gotta go. thank you for staying with me."

"oh, you're leaving?" he said, disappointment obvious in his voice.

"yeah. go home safely, hanbin."

and once again, hanbin got rejected for another hanbin, because you decided you would much rather sit down on the floor with another one in a stinky dance room than to go on a date with him. what if this was is villain origin story? he didn't know. but he still felt like he did some progress with you today.

[yunacoeur]

the lovers who dream

our last dance: chapter ii

chapter synopsis: you, as the oldest royal child of your family, are up to take the throne. in your search for a partner to be consort, the royal family is throwing a party in your name for you to meet potential suitors.

tie the red string around both of our pinky fingers like we're made to be one.

word count: 4.3k

a/n: thank you for supporting chapter 1! here is the next one! i’m about to make you all fall so badly in love with all these men >:))

taglist: @haesunflower @shiningstar-byulxx @kpoprhia @en-ct @dimplewonie @cherriegyu @harus-simp @taerrrrrae @zhanghaos-hairclips @zerobaseonefics @big-uwu-stan @seok02 @kpop17 @quanrui-vamp @mins-fins @wonluvrbot @gyuvinie08 @huipinkhair @beomibeom @flwrinn @wigobkm @deadlycute-cutelydead . please fill out this form if you want to be added to the taglist! also some of the urls i got i can't tag so idk what's up with that sorry :(

in all your gracefulness, you manage to trip again for the second time tonight. as if you didn’t embarrass yourself enough in front of matthew, you trip and fall into the arms of someone else as you walk away from hanbin.

“oh, your highness, are you alright?” the young man asks. he’s pretty, with dark hair that makes his eyes stand out more than anything. it’s almost hypnotizing.

“yes, thank you,” you say as he helps you off.

“that was more forward than i was expecting from you,” he jokes, and you have half the mind to lecture him, but his smile makes you forget all of it. he’s got the wide, endearing smile, and this charmed look in his eyes. like he was gazing dreamily at a lover.

if you had known him for any longer than 30 seconds, you would assume he’s already in love with you.

he suddenly gasps, and it startles you. you wonder if something is suddenly wrong, “ah, where are my manners?” he looks flustered, “my name is taerae. i’m a prince from a neighboring land. my mother and father wish for me to marry you to create peace between our kingdoms.”

he says it like he’s reading from a script. you push him for more, something real.

“and you? why do you want to marry me?”

“...well, i asked around about you when our family got the invitation. i wanted to know what kind of person you are before i met you,” he explains.

“why is that?”

his heart skips a beat before returning back to its normal, if a bit elevated, pace, “my court says i have a romantic’s heart,” he says, "maybe i'd fall for you too easily."

well, isn’t he adorable?

“okay, i’ll bite. tell me what you learned about me,” you say, almost like a demand. he nods with that dazzling smile. he tells you his knowledge was limited because not many people knew much about you save for stuff that he already knew given the invitation.

however, he says that one staff member said you liked the guitar.

the thought takes you back to meetings with your royal staff and running away with a certain charming price to steal some time away. he once showed you that he could play guitar, albeit not very well. he played some basic songs, but it was honestly the best you could ask of him. 

you remember his name. jiwoong. strong-willed, like his mother. he was beautiful and confident and it is so tragic that you remember his dorky smile now; you see it almost in taerae’s.

taerae is softer than jiwoong ever was. maybe you want softer, kinder, or may you want charisma and confidence. you shouldn’t be thinking about jiwoong right now. jiwoong may not even be here tonight, and taerae is right in front of you. you almost feel bad for not focusing on the poor guy while he’s here, talking to you.

“is that true?” he asks, bringing you back down to reality for just a moment, and you nod, “wow, really? because i can play the guitar!”

it’s sweet how excited he is, “maybe you could play it for me sometime,” you say.

he has the energy of a romantic, just like his staff say, searching for any kind of connection he can make from one person to the next to tie an invisible red string on each pinky. 

“okay, maybe i will,” he pulls a flower out of his jacket, “and here’s this, in the meantime, it’s a-”

“cornflower,” you say before he even has a chance to finish. he’s so endearingly delighted that you know the flower that he gave you. his eyes light up like stars in the midnight sky, “that’s a favorite of mine…it’s beautiful. thank you, taerae.” 

“yeah, of course…” he runs his hand through his hair nervously. you give him a little nudge to let out what he’s thinking that he so obviously wants to let out.

“is there something you want to say?” you ask him. 

he nods, but doesn’t speak for a moment, he takes a deep breath, “it’s, uhm, okay if you don’t pick me, but i really hope you do,” he says, anxiously fidgeting his hands, “your land is so beautiful, and i really like it here. and you are-” he stops before he goes too far. 

you won’t let it go though, “and i am what?” you smile at him and his nervousness.

“i like people really easily, but i don’t know if i will anymore,” he responds, smiling back so captivatingly, “i think you might have taken that away from me.” 

“what?! don’t put that on me!” you exclaim. how dare he say it’s practically your fault. he laughs lightheartedly, and it is impossible not to adore him. 

“it’s true!” he says, “how am i supposed to look anywhere else?” 

you wonder the same thing, but with the opposite problem. how are you supposed to keep looking around you when you’re finding so many perfect souls? 

“i know i already said it, but i’m just so easily in love. i think i watched too many plays growing up, but i’ve always imagined romeo and juliet, star-crossed, made for each other lovers, finally having their happy ending,” he’s so lost in his head, up in the clouds, “maybe i could have that someday,” he sighs sweetly. 

“i think you will,” you tell him, “i can’t promise it’ll be me, but i know you’ll find that passion and romance you’re looking for in someone.”

he’s silent again, pausing because he’s anxious this time. he’s itching to say something, but he’s not sure he’s ready to hear your response, “is… there a chance that it is you?” he asks.

“what? what do you mean?”

“is there a chance… you’ll pick me?” he asks again, somehow both more and less hopeful. you settle on him being more dramatic the second time, “do i have a chance with you?” yes, definitely more dramatic. this scene feels out of a movie.

“i wouldn’t say you don’t have a chance…” you lower your head to hide a fond smile, and maybe even a warm face, “it was a pleasure meeting you, taerae. i hope to see you again,” you say to him, looking back up at him. his eyes are still sparkling, “i have other suitors i still have to meet, but come find me again sometime. i’d love to talk more with you.”

he frowns unconsciously, almost like a pout. it’s so hard to not think he’s adorable, “okay, but can you promise me something?” he asks, “promise me you’ll still think of me. when you talk to them, can i still keep just a small piece of your mind occupied?” 

you find yourself laughing with him, but you wonder if his hopeless romantic heart is finding it’s home in your castle, finding a place to rest knowing it won’t be hurt anymore. once it settles, it won’t want to go anywhere. not that you plan to do anything about it.

“yes, i promise. i won’t let you leave my head for even a second,” you say, as you bid him farewell for now. 

you don’t miss the moment that prince (practically king at this point) jiwoong walks in the door, standing tall with his shoulders back, scanning the room for the person he’s here for: you. 

and it’s so darling and perfectly timed that he decided to make his (late) entrance now. just as you started to think about him, he popped up in your world. how ironic is that? 

you also don’t miss the way taerae eyes jiwoong as he walks away from you. you wonder if he has truly started to fall in love, just like in all the movies. was it really love at first sight?

“prince jiwoong, what a pleasure to see you here,” you smile as he bows, standing back up with a satisfied smile on his face too.

if taerae is love at first sight, jiwoong is childhood friends to lovers. you don’t remember meeting jiwoong, but you do remember playing card games with him in the corner of the meeting room to distract yourselves while royal council and your combined family members of royalty were discussing things that actually mattered. you were teaching him how to play all the card games you liked. he was a terrible student, but he tried so hard. maybe it was just because it was you. 

“hello again, your highness. you are looking as beautiful as ever,” he says, cupping your cheek with his hand momentarily.

‘thank you, jiwoong,” his boldness and compliments are enough to make you flustered just slightly, “you are… are you here for me?”

“why else would i be here? if we get married, we could rule both of our kingdoms together! it is a beautiful idea,” he says, “tell me the things you like. i can give you whatever you’d like, your highness.”

you can’t help but laugh. he’s taking this role so seriously, “the things i like? like what?”

“hmm… what colors do you like? and dislike?”

“why?”

“because showing off all my riches means nothing to you. me buying all the gold in the world wouldn’t impress you if you like silver jewelry more,” he explains like it’s obvious. he has to know your preferences before buying you the whole planet, clearly, “or what if i build you a castle, but the walls are a color you dislike? then you’d just be stuck in an ugly display of wealth. i don’t want that for you.”

“ah, i see,” you say, “in that case, you should take notes. i’m particular about the things i like, you know,” you’re mostly joking, but he takes it 100% seriously. 

“then i will obtain a notebook, and come back to you when i find one-”

“jiwoong, i am playing with you, please relax,” you smile at him, and he finally looks at you with something other than flirtatiousness and charm in his eyes. something softer. fondness, maybe.

“it is really great to see you, your highness,” he mutters, much gentler and sweeter this time, “i’ve missed you.”

you’ve known jiwoong since the beginning of time practically. you’ve both been raised as royals up to take the throne, having been at important meetings with each other for years. he had always been this awkward kid until he suddenly hit puberty and got insanely hot. not to mention how good it would be for your kingdoms to find some unity. he is a logical choice, and maybe more than just that.

because you know this cool guy facade is just that: a facade.

“oh! i also have something for you!” he says, pulling something out of his pocket. you expect it to be a flower, one just as beautiful and unique as the rest of them. and this was unique all right.

but it’s not a flower.

he pulls out a small figurine of a person or character that you don’t even recognize, but the last time you saw him at one of those meetings, he was telling you about a show he watched, one that he really liked, and he described a character with similar attributes to this figurine. you wonder if they were related.

“what is this?”

“something i like, for someone i like,” he says with a silly smirk, like there’s something more to this toy than just what is plainly visible.

“well, thank you,” you say, inspecting it closely. it’s small enough to fit in your pocket, so that’s where you put it to keep it safe. you imagine you’ll keep it on the desk in your study. maybe if you don’t pick him, it’ll be a reminder of what you missed out on. 

and what you didn’t miss out on if you do pick him and his charming face.

he shakes his head, smiling fondly again as he pulls something out of his pocket again, “but yes, i did get you a flower. it’s a d-”

“you got me a narcissus?” you ask rhetorically when you see it, taking it from him, “are you calling yourself narcissistic? or me?” you laugh, watching him frantically try to recover. 

“no! it’s a daffodil! it’s a sign of new beginnings, not-” he shakes his head, “it doesn’t matter. call it what you want, i meant to give it to you as a sign that we are meeting again as new people. we used to just be young royals that knew of each other, but now… can i tell you something?,” you nod. he steps closer, playing with the ends of your hair with his fingertips, “i always liked you. i wanted to marry you when we were younger, and now i’ll marry you for real.”

“for real? you wanted to marry me?” you ask him, “or are you just saying that so i’ll pick you?”

he raises an eyebrow at you playfully, “really? you’re calling me a pick-me?” 

“i don’t know! maybe you are one!”

he laughs, heartily, like he’s already a king. it’s in his blood to be one, “it’s all real though. i have always wanted to marry you. give it some thought, i’ll always come back to you,” he smiles, and as you part ways with jiwoong, even asking him what the hell he meant by giving you a figurine of a character, you wonder if the destined prince could be yours. he’s the catch, the prize you should want dearly. maybe you do for different reasons. 

still seeing jiwoong’s charismatic gaze from across the room, you make your way to the seating area where plenty of guests are making casual conversation over drinks. some are laughing, some are crying, and you see someone who sticks out to you.

for the second time tonight, it’s someone you recognize. 

“yujin? is that you?” you call out and he perks up, searching for the owner of the voice that called his name, standing up to see you.

“oh, your highness,” he comes over quickly, politely bowing as you marvel at him.

“please, we’ve known each other forever, you can just call me by name,” you say, “wow, it has been so long since i’ve seen you! how are you? how have things been in your kingdom?”

yujin is the son of a marquise in a neighboring kingdom, but because of his mother’s impeccable reputation and connections, he had done his studies in your kingdom under the care of the nobility in your castle. and thus, you’ve known him for years. he only disappeared recently to go back home; this is your first time seeing him since he left about two years ago. you could pinpoint that bunny face anywhere. 

yujin is like a younger brother. he’s cute, well-liked, and a bit of a troublemaker. he wouldn’t make an incredible husband. and yet…

“i’ve been well. things are good right now, thank you,’ he says.

the question at the tip of your tongue is eating away at you, so you decide to just ask it, “can i ask why you were sent here? i mean, i am happy to see you, but you are… young… and this is a question of marriage.” 

“my mother is not fond of the idea either, but there was no one else to send. the prince of my kingdom is already betrothed,” he explains, “i know this is also a search for love, and finding that in me doesn’t seem likely, even years from now. it’s okay if you pick someone else, but..” there’s this weird, distant look in his eyes. he probably feel even more awkward than you, “do you remember when your mother scolded me for dropping the vase in the front hall?” 

“yeah? still don’t know why you covered for me. you really didn’t have to,” you say, retrospectively, after you begged him to please take the blame for it so your mom wouldn’t be mad at you. 

“and when i helped you study when you told me you wanted to pursue an education in political affairs, even though at the time you were not next in line for the throne,” he continues, nervously looking at you. he’s still that same shy kid he’s been all these years. 

“crazy how much has changed,” you murmur. 

“what i mean to say is all these people can promise you so much and i can promise you nothing. we’re in different worlds, i know that. know you could never love me romantically. because i am just a brother, just a nuisance to your peace, but you don’t know any of these people like how you know me,” he rants, continuing his explanation, “i will not make a good partner, at least for a while, but i can be a confidant for you. the world can know you as you want to be known; i will still know you for what you are.”

and that’s when it hits you just how weird it is that yujin is here. despite being your close friend for years, he’s a 16-year-old kid. he can’t get married just yet, he’s got years of energy and liveliness that should stay untamed. 

and yet you see his mother in his eyes. they look eerily similar. you see caution and hesitancy and nervousness. you’ve spent years wondering if sensitive, shy, soft-spoken han yujin will have to face this cruel world alone, you don’t want that for him.

“but don’t do this just for me,” he says as if he’s reading your mind. it’s crazy that he just knows, “you don’t have to protect me.” 

but you do. because who else will? 

“i do though,” you smile at him, “i promised your mother that i would take care of you.”

because sure, getting married forces him into the spotlight, but it also gives him the chance to do something he really wants. you know that a marquis’s job is not something yujin wants for himself, and all those times he taught you about politics, you could see the stars in his eyes. even if it’s just behind the scenes, this kid was born to rule.

you still remember talking to his mother, even as just a kid that was a little older than her son. you remember her asking you to promise her that, when yujin was away, you’d look after him. even after all this time, that promise still weighs heavy on you.

“you should go,” he says, and you look up at him after being lost in thought for so long, “there’s other people you should meet. i’ll see you after the party, okay?”

“yujin,” you frown, trying to find the right words, “take care of yourself. if i can’t, i mean.”

“of course, your highness,” he smiles.

“okay, then,” you wonder if he's just saying it to appease you. it was always you taking care of him. what was he going to do?

“oh! and i was just talking with gunwook here. he is also a suitor. maybe you could talk with him for a bit!” yujin says, as sweetly as ever. his heart is good even if he’s mischievous and childish sometimes.

the person he was pointing to looks up after hearing his name. you notice his lips are pouted, but it seems like he doesn’t notice himself. maybe it's unconscious for him. it’s cute.

you say, “gunwook, was it?” and he looks up at you, nodding slowly. you can’t help but giggle, “do you want to introduce yourself to me?” 

he jumps up, “can we find somewhere more… secluded?” he asks, but suddenly backtracks when he sees your playfully shocked expression, “oh wait, i don’t mean like that! i just want to talk, i swear, your highness!”

he is just adorable, it’s so hard to not laugh at how seriously he’s taking this. 

you give yujin one last look, waving him goodbye, “okay, take me away, then,” you say, smiling, and so gunwook does just that. he takes your hand to lead you to the balcony area. 

it’s the first time breathing fresh air all night; it’s way too stuffy inside the ballroom. plus, it’s a nice change of scenery. 

gunwook stands at a respectful distance away from you, looking up at the moon in awe (like he hasn’t seen it before? has he never seen the moon?). 

“did you know that a new moon symbolizes youth and innocence, but a full moon symbolizes maturity and celebration?” he says, still looking up at the sky, even when you look over at him. its difficult to not admire his beauty in this moment. he’s tall with dark hair and dark, soothing eyes. the moonlight just radiates off his skin so easily. he catches you in a daze when he finally looks over at you, “did you know that?” 

“no,” you say, shaking your head as you look away, gazing over the town below. it looks so small from all the way up here, “i didn’t.”

“there’s a lot of literature that represents the growth and decay of the moon as cycles of human life. it’s really interesting,” he says.

“so… you’re a scholar?”

he rubs the back of his head with his hand almost nervously, “i guess so. most of the time people just call me a nerd.”

“it’s not nerdy to be intelligent,” you tell him, moving just a tab bit closer to him, “what do you like to study?”

“i like learning about philosophy. that’d probably be my biggest field of interest,” he says, “i like learning about different ways to approach life, morality, purpose, stuff like that.”

“that’s so cool. i liked learning about that kind of stuff, but my education was more focused on preparing me to rule. lots of classes on foreign policy, less so on literature,” you explain to him. he listens so intently, a small frown on his face when your smile drops, “i guess i envy you. i missed out when i was young.”

he doesn’t respond right away, taking a second to reflect. he has spent his whole life studying and learning all the topics that interested him, and you never got that luxury. his family was nobility, but because he was the youngest son, he wasn’t required to take up the role as the next in line. he was allowed to spend his whole youth learning the things he wanted to learn. 

you were always going to become the ruler of your kingdom. he had the freedom that you didn’t.

“you never introduced yourself to me,” you say, “i only know your name because yujin told me.”

“oh, right, my apologies, your highness. my name is park gunwook. i am… a noble scholar,” his voice is much softer, almost sadder than before. it lost the spark it had when he was excitedly telling you about the moon, “can i ask you something, your highness?”

“sure, what is it?”

if he could frown anymore, he’d be doing that right now, “have you met someone tonight who… you want to marry?”

“i don’t know yet, why?”

“nothing , it’s just,” he looks away, nervous, but then right back at you, “i want to be that someone.”

“gunwook,” you say. he looks over at you, “you can't just say that. you don't know what that means."

he looks at you like a deer in headlights, so afraid of accidentally coming off as ignorant and naive, but eventually, he breathes out a sigh, “yes, i do,” he says, “i think you’re beautiful and intelligent and i saw the way you spoke to yujin. you’re so kind and caring. i don’t know anything else, but i know that,” there are stars in his eyes once again, like the energy has come back to his soul.

he says, “i think i’ve spent my whole life looking at books and newspapers and i have not once looked up and saw the world.”

“do you want to see the world?”

“i want to experience everything in this world. i could tell you about the moon. or the stars. or the sun. i could tell you the stories i’ve read,” he smiles at you, reaching to hold your hand, “i’m young. despite all i know, i don’t really think i know much at all. maybe i would make a terrible partner, maybe we have nothing in common. but i…” 

he stops himself momentarily. 

“i’ll be good to you. for you, i mean,” he pulls a flower out of his pocket. both of you forgot its existence until this very moment, “here, your highness. this is for you.”

the flower he hands you is delicate, and you recognize it as an iris. it has some yellows and whites in the center, but the petals are this deep, saturated purple. it is lovely to hold, just like his hand. you notice he hasn’t let go this whole time. 

“thank you, gunwook,” you smile back at him, looking back at the still buzzing ballroom. if you’ve counted right, there’s one more person you need to meet.

“don’t leave. not yet, at least,” he says, tightening his hold on your hand. you look back at him, “stay here with me.”

you give one, final glance to the ballroom as you make your decision, “okay,” you tell him, leaning over the balcony to gaze at the scenery. it does look strangely out of a movie, “let’s stay here a little longer,” you whisper as he stands closer to you.

“thank you,” he whispers back.

after a moment of silence, peacefully gazing off into the night sky, you speak up again.

“gunwook?” you ask. he hums in acknowledgment, “what do the stars in the sky tonight mean?”

he doesn’t say it out loud, but he wants to say how much he already likes you. 

pretend it's meant to be. 

pretend it’s written in the stars.

[cloudbersoo]

romance tropes｜zb1

synopsis: zb1 members as different romance tropes !

tags: member x gn!reader, fluff, suggestive (only jiwoong and taerae), mostly just cute shit!, hao's one is a little morally questionable, gunwook is only one year younger than yn, not proofread

word count: 725 in total

a/n: helloo. i came up with these last night. i tried to use different tropes than what others have done to keep it interesting! don't date your friends' exes, okay bye.

my playlist while writing: polaris by chen!! it's so so good

kim jiwoong as the rebound

you and your ex broke up about three weeks ago

few of your friends had convinced you to go clubbing with them so you could forget about your ex

that’s when you met jiwoong 

the two of you clicked well and eventually one thing led to another… 

he could tell you still had someone else in your heart but he assured you he didn’t mind as he kissed you

you still wished jiwoong could someday be more than just a rebound…

zhang hao as the best friend’s ex

everyone knows friends’ exes are off limits

but the way zhang hao’s eyes were following your every move was making you feel some type of way

even in a packed up party, it felt like it was just the two of you in the room

you longed for him and he must have felt the same way about you

sometimes you wondered if you had anything to do with your friend’s break up

and how mad she will be if you were to leave the party with hao tonight…

sung hanbin as the sibling’s babysitter

your practice was cut short and you were able to go home much earlier than usual

what you didn’t realize was that hanbin would still be at your house babysitting your little sister

hanbin might have been the nicest and prettiest person you’ve ever met

but sadly you never really got the opportunity to get to know him

maybe tonight that could change as you tucked your sister to bed…

seok matthew as the brother’s best friend

going to a ski lodge during the winter break has been one of your family’s traditions for a long time

your parents had always let you to bring a friend to the trip, but this year none of yours could make it

so you had found yourself hanging out with your brother’s best friend matthew a lot

one fateful night that involved hot choco and few sweet kisses seemed to change everything

but what happens at the ski lodge stays at the ski lodge, right?

kim taerae as the best friend you hooked up with

you and taerae had basically grown up together

you’ve experienced many things together over the years but you never thought you’d ever wake up in his arms without any clothes on

the events of the previous night were coming back to your mind

after many shots of alcohol and a make out session on the back seat of a taxi, you two had ended in taerae’s apartment – into his bed

was this the start of something new or just a drunken mistake?

shen ricky as the city boy in your small town

you’ve grown up in a small town where everyone knows everyone

so it wasn’t hard for you to notice the young man amongst the familiar faces

he seemed lost and out of place with his clean white button up and expensive black sunglasses

you soon found out the man's name was ricky and he was the grandson of one of your neighbours

to say you were intrigued was an understatement 

maybe this handsome stranger could be your next summer love?

kim gyuvin as the flirty customer at your coffee shop

working as a barista was pretty exhausting

but there was at least something or rather someone that made your work a little more fun

a boy by the name of gyuvin came to your coffee shop almost daily and it was always the highlight of your day (but don’t tell him that)

he’d come in with his friends to study but would spend majority of his time staring at you

“anything else with your drink?” “maybe your number?”

you might as well give it to him one day…

park gunwook as the best friend’s (little) brother

you’ve always thought that you only liked gunwook in a little brother type of way

but ever since you both entered high school, you couldn’t help but to look at him differently

he had grown up nice, quite literally as he now towered over you

one day you found a love letter in your locker that was signed by him

your best friend only teased you about the blush that had creeped into your cheeks

you’ll take it as a sign that you had your best friend's approval…

- end

[rieeeeestufffff]

[JEALOUS CLASS PRESIDENT]

i just decided to post my first story here in tumblr hope you guys like it, Btw this story has a part 2.

pairing: college student!S.hanbin x college student f!reader.

genre: fluff

warnings: slightly curse

wc: 1.4k

synopsis: wherein s.hanbin stopping himself to confess because of a certain someone.

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

Y/N POV

ughh another day another stress....i walk alone in the hallway feeling drained some students might think that i look like a zombie.

"y/n!y/n!y/n!"..aishh this guy really...

"Good morning!"he said walking next to me..this guy is always so energetic every morning..

"hello"i weakly said to him, he looked at me for a second.

"you look like a zombie"he said stopping himself from laughing.

"I know" i shortly replied because i don't have the energy to talk much.

"do you want coffee?"he asked looking through his phone.

"i want to but we're already here..."he suddenly shoved his phone to my face making me stop.

"I'm already on it"he said turning off his phone screen..as if i saw it pabo...then we continued to walk until we reached our classroom.

"what?"i confusedly ask while looking at him.

"i already asked someone to buy us a coffee since they're coming late"he said then proceed to put his arm around my shoulder.

"someone? you mean leejeong?"i asked him and he just nodded.

"he's already late yet you make him buy a coffee"i said feeling bad for leejeong, he just shrugged his shoulder.

"he insists"he said...aishh this guy really(2)....

"oh look!"he suddenly turns me towards the classroom door where there is a guy who went straight to his place...he's just doing his thing but why does he need to be so handsome!??..

"He-"i stopped talking when he suddenly turned his head on us.

i immediately look at park hanbin-who's next to me-when we suddenly had an eye contact.

"why?"parkbin asks confused then he look where sung hanbin is then look back at me.

"he's looking at you girl!!your crush is looking at you!!"i shush him because his voice is getting too loud.

S.HANBIN POV

As I entered my department building i went straight to my classroom.

my classmates greet me so do i but the person who i really want to greet me is busy talking to her friend..as always...

I'm busy doing my things when i feel like someone is looking at me,so i look around when my eyes are locked with her... she's so pretty f*ck!!..

she suddenly turns her head then her friend look at me then back to her.I just continue doing my things....why do i feel jealous?i don't even like her? or do i?...i just shook my head.

Y/N POV

ughh i almost got caught checking him out wait i didn't come out as weird right? omg!!!this is so embarrassing!!...i space out then i flinch when i feel a hot thing press on my cheeks.

"wth?!"i said then look at my side it was leejeong, he just smiled at me.

"you must be really tired"he said and sat behind me.I just nodded and said thanks for the coffee.

"you know y/n crush caught her staring at him"p.hanbin suddenly started telling leejeong my embarrassing sh*t.

"why don't you just confess?"leejeong asks leaning forward..i wish i can..then the professor enters the room.

"I'm not ready yet"i said laying my head on the table then p.hanbin play with my hair.

"girl just try, if he rejects you then move on, that's it"p.hanbin said,i just nodded.

TIME SKIP...

leejeong and p.hanbin left already while i'm here in the library finishing my drawing.I'm too busy to notice the person standing next to me.

"Why are you still here?"i flinched when i heard that voice.I immediately looked up and saw s.hanbin...oh Lord what do i do....

"ahm finishing this"i showed him the drawing as he sat next to me..oh my heart!!!...

"it's pretty"he said then he took out his notebook along with a book and pen.

"you're going to study?"I asked him and he nodded.I stood up on my seat ready to go but he stopped me.

"where are you going?"he asked while holding my wrist.

"go home, i don't want to disturb you"he shook his head and told me to sit.

"trust me you're not but you're beauty might"he said but he mumbled something i didn't quite hear.

"I'll just be quiet so that you can study well"i said and continue to do my drawing.

we both sat in a comfortable silence...i thought it would be so awkward...

S.HANBIN POV

I finished reviewing all my works with nothing to worry about anymore.I look at the girl beside me who's still busy in her drawing..how did i fall for her again? thanks to hao hyung now i know that i like this girl...but does she and her friend have a thing?aishh...

"So your hobby is drawing?"i curiously asked making her look at me, She nodded with a smile.

"ahm yes, drawing is my hobby ever since in elementary"she said then continue to draw.I look outside and it's getting late.

"it's already time"i said then start packing my things.

"i didn't notice"she said as she also started packing her things..i think her friends have already left..

"let's go?"i said and waited for her to finish packing up.

"you can go first"she said and i shook my head taking her tote bag on her shoulder.

"I can't let a girl walk alone at this hour who knows what will happen"i said as we walked towards the exit, we bowed to the librarian as we passed her by.

"do you live near here?"she asks as we exit the school gate.

"you know the cafe near here, we live next to that"i said and she nodded.

"oh you mean the Blooming Cafe?"she said looking up to me and i nodded.

"my friends and i are always there every weekends"she continue and continue telling me how she didn't notice the house next to it.

"well we're here"i said and opened the door for her.The cafe is still open and there are still some students inside.

we went to the table near the counter then we put our things.

"what do you want?"i ask her while she looks at the menu.. she's so cute when she focus on something....

"ahmm coffee latte and a slice of strawberry cake"i nodded as i let her sit first then i went behind the counter to make her order.

Y/N POV

I was confused when i saw s.hanbin went behind the counter.Is he working here?or what if his family owns this?.Then suddenly the owner went up to me.

"Hi Good evening"i stand up and bow at her as she greets me.

"Hello ma'am Good evening too"i greeted back with a smile..now that she's in front of me she looks like s.hanbin..

"did you order already?"she asked then sat in front of me and i nodded. S.hanbin just finished making my order and went to us.

"here"he said and gave me my order.

"i didn't know you already have a girlfriend son"the lady said making me stop eating.

"no mom she's not my girlfriend, she's my classmate"s.hanbin said and i looked at him and the lady in front of me...no wonder they look alike....

we finished eating then his mom made her way to us.

"will you guys stay here?"his mom asked as she saw our bags then s.hanbin shook his head.

"we just passed by here, i'm going to send her home since it's already dark"he said and we stood up and said our goodbyes.

"that's why she looks familiar because she's your mom"i said as we stepped out of their cafe.

"yeah some people said we really look alike"he said then we walked next to each other quietly.

after a minute we arrived at our house.

"so...see you tomorrow?"i said while looking at him.

"yeah, good night y/n" he said with a smile then turned around.

"take care on your way!"I shouted not too loud and he nodded.

I went inside when he was not on my sight then went straight to my room and i screamed in my pillow.

..SUNG HANBIN JUST SEND ME HOME!!!OMG!!!..

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

[rosinbae]

attention ⋆ delinquent?

◜✧◞ PAIRING ─ kim taerae x male!reader

◜✧◞ SYNOPSIS ─ ever since he can remember, jang y/n has always had a crush on park hanbin. every other day he simply couldn't help but giggle and kick his feet at the sight of him, but now as his senior year begins, he finds his feelings for someone else, specifically his best friend kim taerae, to be much stronger than any feelings he could have had for park hanbin.

◜✧◞ LINKS ─ masterlist | previous | next

y/n knows how bad of a person others think he is.

he hears the whispers from the older people who live in the neighborhood, people say he's stuck up, a troublemaker, delinquent, all that nice stuff that he enjoys overhearing as he listens to jeonghyeon complain about his boring love life on the phone.

he stopped getting offended after a while, he learned how to get used to it.

ever since dad left, moms barely been home. she used to be able to work the morning shift but now she has to work from eight pm to six am as a nurse practitioner to make extra money for her two sons. when she is home, she's asleep due to having sleepless nights.

eunwoo constantly reminds him to not do anything which gets mom upset, says she's too stressed out with saving lives all night.

y/n constantly replies by saying he doesn't do anything that upsets mom, the only reason their relationship is strained is because of his sexuality, and his friends, and how she sent him to a summer camp instead of helping him when he went through his depressive episodes.

he loves his mom, he really does, but he struggles to have a good relationship with her after all that's unfolded these past few years.

he feels like he doesn't even know her anymore.

his mind wanders as his thoughts become much more depressing than usual, but he quickly snaps out of it when he hears jeonghyeon yell.

"please! you'd never!"

"oh i would!"

jeonghyeon and hanbin arguing is normal, y/n simply blinks and his eyes shift to the side. that's when jeonghyeon pushes his shoulder, making him yelp. "y/n!"

"huh, what?"

"think about this for a second" jeonghyeon starts. "taerae" he places his hands on said boy's shoulder. "and junhyeon" he finally states, and the older looks surprised by those words.

"junhyeon?"

"oh you two would totally be cute!" woonggi exclaims. "we have to set them up!" he jumps up in excitement, but taerae simply chuckles and shakes his head.

"i don't think so".

jeonghyeon immediately looks surprised when y/n says that, but taerae looks even more surprised at the words.

"i mean—" y/n pauses, laughing to himself as he tries to find a way to explain it. "they do look cute, but.."

"but?" jeonghyeon tilts his head, tightening his grip on taerae's shoulders, which makes the older one wince. "you disagree, y/n? i would love to hear your opinion on this pairing?"

jeonghyeon i am literally gonna kill you—taerae says with his eyes, and the lee simply giggles, nudging him with his elbow. "come on y/n, give taerae some advice".

y/n momentarily glanced to hanbin, who quickly covers his mouth to laugh. "well i— i just don't think they're that compatible, that's all".

y/n doesn't know what this weird feeling that keeps circulating around his stomach is. he has no kind of hatred towards junhyeon, he doesn't! he just doesn't know why he feels so weird about thinking about them as a couple.

it's not like taerae's his boyfriend or anything..

"oh?" jeonghyeon raises an eyebrow, and taerae quickly pushes his hands off his shoulders. "not that compatible huh?" he says to himself, giggling at a certain thought he was having.

woonggi looks between the two. from taerae to y/n, to y/n, to taerae again. "um" he presses his lips into a thin line. "seunghwan said he was gonna pick me up today so.. i kinda have to go".

"yeah i have to" hanbin pauses, looking as if he's searching for an excuse. "my mom told me to get home early! right jeonghyeon?" he grits his teeth as he grabs the younger's arm.

"what?" he asks, but then he makes an 'ah' face. "oh right! yeah! um.. were gonna make cupcakes!"

taerae narrows his eyes at the obvious lie, but he simply nods. "alright, bring us some".

"oh we will!"

"we totally will!"

hanbin drags jeonghyeon out of the room and the younger waves at him.

taerae blinks, taking off his glasses as he rubs his eyes. "look at us" he says, "getting an early start with our calculs tutoring".

"please go easy on me" y/n begs sarcastically, a small pout coming to his lips. he feels himself have a pain in his stomach when taerae pulls out a calculus textbook.

"can't make any promises".

taerae smirks and y/n just laughs.

it's only seven pm.

it's funny how a tutor session with taerae taught him more about calculus than his teacher ever has in a double period. his mind is drifting away as he walks home, completely forgetting all he did in his day because his only focus is getting home safely.

opening the door with his spare key, y/n almost immediately jumps when he sees his mother right in his face, standing there with a look of disappointed look on her face.

"hi mom" he says. he knows that stare, that stare which means she's gonna yell at him for something that he probably can't control or accuse him of doing something that he can't ever fathom doing. "everything okay?"

"y/n" she asks, taking in a deep breath. "it is seven o'clock, where the hell have you been?"

"at school!" he immediately says. "i went to school like normal and after school let out i went to the library to study".

"to the library?" she questions, as if she can't believe such words. "y/n, who spends four hours studying?"

"i was being tutored" y/n replies, he can't even believe that his mother would think he's lying, even after all the times he tried. "do you seriously not believe me? what else would i be doing?"

"i don't know y/n, what else would you be doing?" she asks accusingly, crossing her arms as she straightens her work uniform. "it's not like i know you anymore, you could be doing anything! probably hanging out with those stupid boys—"

"my friends aren't stupid!" y/n takes in a breath, realizing he'd yelled at his mom. "they're better than you, they actually care about my well being! do you think your being a good mother by accusing me of literal crimes? like you've done thousands of times before?"

"i'm looking out for you!"

"looking out for me? you don't do that! because your afraid i'm going to be like dad!"

his mother goes silent, taking in a deep breath as she covers her face with her hands. he was right, he knew he was by her unconventional silence.

"i'm just.. i'm going to sleep" he mutters, walking past his mother and running up the stairs.

he does slam the door to his room, obviously.

he's upset.

◜✧◞ TAGS (open):

@jinkiseason, @big-uwu-stan, @harus-simp, @zerobaseonefics, @hwangsm1le

[wtfliaa]

Hello there followed just today .

Won’t call myself a professional astrologer but just a student been studying it thoroughly with the lovely resources and workshops around to learn about this varied field . I like to refer myself as a channel or I’ve got some decent clairaudient skills . So I heard some things I’d like to mention to you which is written down below right next to the mood board

I am a female I’m into males :)

My information is

leo ascendant 11 degrees 38’34

* juno in aquarius in 7th house 28 degrees 2’48

* groom in aquarius in 7th house 17 degrees (Conjunct sun ,mercury and uranus )

* darakarka : moon in uttarashadha pada 3 at 4 degrees 31

favourite song : hard question recently I’ve been hooked to Venus by sleeping at last and the good old untill I found you .

btbt by hanbin is beautiful too

I’m listening to these beautiful lines which seem to be hooked in my head while writing this

“Georgia wrap me up in your arms “

Favourite movie : don’t seem to have one really or it’s the 7th house stellium in me speaking I have been embracing the slow life lately . But Interstellar speaks to me in ways I couldn’t have perceived .

Favourite placements : i am not sure how to put it but i suppose Rohini nakshatra and anything anyone sun ruled or positively aspected speaks to me . a well aspected mercury speaks to me again (quite literally tbh ) a voice with material depth of thought of material is a person after my own heart .

Depth . Warmth . Voice .

I’m glad to make a mood board for you and your future spouse .

first of all I channelled a lot of Greek related stories for ideas for the matter in your case I immediately thought of Icarus as a tattoo in my mind s eye . Icarus ,a force , while the world laments his death he being the one who chased after his dreams so hard despite his death know the satisfaction the ultimate satisfaction of having something you so deeply desire .

Sure he fell I suppose all things do eventually but in one glorious moment when he saw the distant coasts of Aegean all around . As he floated in staunch defiance of the heaven s fire . He knew no one had flown higher .

The thought moves me . And so does your person I feel . Heavy plutonic /fire placements is what I feel . Heavily heavily guided through His emotions . A force to be reckoned with .

“Come back to Atlantis “ Is what I heard . Athens . Malta … considering what historians mention modern day Atlantis is .seems significant to me.

I’d suggest you to watch the apartment (1996) starring monica belluci , you have messages there .

i also heard the iconic song by Kesha or the recent version she performed in a concert .

“Wake up in the morning feelin like fuck P Diddy”

Which was random but Kinda hilarious ngl

Last but not the least I hope I followed all your rules apologies if I slacked somewhere . Thanks for all the effort you’d be putting in my mood board and the others things I appreciate it .

Sending positive energy towards you .

Thank you

A.K

This is so beautiful I literally love it a lot!!! So detailed and beautiful! And I literally love Hanbin!! It resonates so much (I’ve got a reading before and they mentioned my first impression my fs is that he is going to come off as fiery, and very magnetic! Ur spot on!) OMG LOL THE KESHA SONG HAHAH. And I will surely watch the movie I think I heard of it but I’ll surely watch it soon. I’ll let you know once watch.

Here’s you board and thanks for you patience 🤍

Your future spouse is so lovely, and just so unique he has so much talent and skill. He could be a little shy, and some times quiet but overall he has a lot of harmonious and sweet and soft energy. I’ve noticed Since Juno and Groom is in ur 7th house this can indicate your future spouse being younger than you or you twos age gap will be quite small. So maybe born the same year a couple months apart or even a year a part. Your future spouse has a lot of airy and fluffy energy he can be awkward and has such quiet features he can have some feminine physical characteristics but he has a great balance or feminine and masculine energy. He can have curly hair or wavy and thick hair, plump lips, kind or prominent eyes. Could have a small nose or a bump on his nose. And he has such a soft and delicate sweet voice. He can be very shy when it comes to interacting with you, there will be times he may want to hug or touch you but he may be a bit hesitant lol. I get he can have adhd or he can be very fidgety, that’s very common within Mercury, Uranus, and Moon energy (I can speak from experience since I’m mercurial rising and Aquarius stellium) He is such a Prince Charming and his eyes do not lie he looks at you with so much love. And he will never ever would want to hurt you. He is very patient with you, could be sensitive so he could cry easily or just think a lot in his head. He has such a gentle soul many people find him so charming and sweet! Likes to hold your hand and you two will love to be in nature alone having fun. You two really bring the inner child. He could have slim and tall build and a smaller waist. Has nice muscles but not that large.

I feel like ur older then him.

Songs- Understand by Keshi, Blue- Billie Eilish, Only by Leehi, Love Scenario by Ikon

Hope you enjoyed I really love ur feature spouse he is so sweet a lot of airy gentle energy.

( Shh 🤫 Don’t tell the others but the moodboard I made for you/ reading is the best one I love the most.)

Feedback is required thank you!!!