#i leave you with my self indulgent gifset
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jaskierx · 11 months ago
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little pre-warning for suicide (i'm fine though!!)
sorry if this isn't articulated very well but like. i got into ofmd only last october when season 2 was airing and i still remember it's bc i got a clip on tiktok of the "is that blackbeard?" "no, i'm blackbeard" scene which is SUCH a good fucking hook btw. and before watching it i kind of actually hated it LOL like people do with anything that's popular and Everywhere it just oversaturates sometimes. and it made me feel kind of silly to go back on my own opinion but i didn't even really dwell on that bc me getting into it also happened to coincide with a failed suicide attempt (that kind of funnily also included a gun that misfired like in-show lol). and like i was pretty understandably all over the place, but generally still in the "i want to live" moment that happens right after you nearly properly die. and the thing about suicide recovery is that you don't actually want to recover. so it was a really up and down left and right kind of situation and you're left feeling kind of like a puppet with no strings that's also been thrown into the ocean or something.
but then i liked this show that was funny and silly and i also got to see trans and gay people existing happily and normally which isn't necessarily NEW but it did feel really cool and unique to be able to go Oh and this is the moment where they would usually leave it to subtext and then they actually KISS and it's like woahhhh. i didn't know they could do that... and then as i was still processing what was happening with my own life and like mortality i got to see this character go through the exact same thing and come out on the other side of it ENTIRELY by himself and experience love and self determination and actualisation and i'm not saying it made me want to do it myself but it did feel like a really personal thing for me (hence anon also lol).
and for the few weeks it was coming out i got to sit there and think about how he was doing and it gave me another reason to not do something again. like i am so definitely not the only one who can say "this show saved my life" but honestly it literally did. like there's that thing when you're suicidal where the things that you're sticking around for are the only things you've got so they're as important as anything even if it's like... going to a concert the following week or something. or getting a burger. and i really honestly stuck around just to love this show and my cat.
it's been a few months now ofc and it still sucks and i'm not better or anything but being able to indulge in something fun for fun's sake is the biggest source of joy in my life and tbh it's not gonna go away just because there's going to be no season 3. when i'm feeling too much of particularly anything i have a handy little balm which i know everyone feels but still. a little gifset of ed always makes me feel better if i'm freaking out so it's cool i don't care if it's a bit lame. i'm a bit sad for season 3 and everyone being sad is also making me sadder but i still have a lot of love left so ah. it'll be fine :)
if anything i hope this inspires people to have a little boom in the numbers re: content now that we know there'll be no canon to possibly diverge from and we can make up our OWN season 3 ‼️ which will be fun :)
hi anon sorry i didn't reply to this yesterday i wanted to sit and think about what to say
and then i didn't really come up with anything lmao other than you're right and i love you and i love this show and it's so incredibly important to me and so groundbreaking in so many ways and has made me feel seen in a way that no other piece of media ever has. the queer rep is groundbreaking. the portrayal of ed's suicidality moved me beyond words. there are dozens of other people sharing stories about how ofmd helped them to come out or meet their partner or start transitioning or quit something that was making them unhappy. i watched s2 at a time while i was really struggling with post-covid symptoms. i've met so many incredible people through this fandom. i think about the show dozens of times a day. the show brought me so much joy and they can't take that away
they can't ever take away how special it was and how much it's changed people's lives
i'm very excited to see what the amazing fic writers in this fandom are going to give us in place of s3. i just wish we could've had the rest of the story david wanted to tell
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utaicon · 2 years ago
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★・ABOUT・★
★・call me adrien
★・I use he/it primarily, but feel free to ask about my neopronoun hoard
★・This is a sideblog, my main is @2-kamikou-1 !
★・Fandom edit blog, sources listed below
★・minor, nsfw dni
All my edits are free to use, with the only rule being you must reblog them and credit me.
note: I am still doing edits for Palestine outside of strike days.
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★・WHAT CAN I DO ?・★
★・icons (pride, aesthetic, color...any theme you can think of really) (usually 3-8 icons per post but i can go up to 30) (1000 x 1000 by default)
★・moodboards/songboards/stimboards/mixed media boards (3x3, 5x3/3x5, and 2x3/3x2 offered)
★・full body edits (see one, two) (selective) (i think these are called renders?) (one per post/request, these are time consuming)
★・transparents (1-3 per post, but can vary)
★・sprite/card edits
★・gifs/gifsets (6-12 per post, could vary though)
★・character pride flag recolors (1-5 per post but usually just 1) (this includes colorpicking flags from characters and editing characters into the color palette of a pride flag!)
★・replycons (max 10 per post)
★・song-themed edits
★・gifsets
★・wallpapers (PLEASE SPECIFY RESOLUTION!! if you don't your request will be pending forever!!!)
★・Usernames (i got the idea from @/twisted-lies) (ONLY FOR LISTED SOURCES)
★・dividers
★・blinkies
★・i plan to offer more in the future!!
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★・RULES・★
★・be nice!
★・i'm human, certain edits may take longer, i can deny a request if it makes me uncomfortable
★・i'd prefer if you're specific with requests but be as vague or specific as you'd like. Please, though, specify a theme/aesthetic/whatever. Please.
★・don't talk about discourse, please respect the dni/blacklist.
★・unlisted sources are allowed!!
★・you're welcome to ask me to tag for ANYTHING. I don't always know what to tag stuff!
★・please don't resend requests it stresses me out...if you're worried yours didn't go through somehow feel free to ask for an inbox check
★・i don't know a lot about kinning and irls and things like that. if you want no id/kin/me/fo/etc tags please clarify because otherwise there will be nothing stating against that in the post
★・blacklist and whitelist are subject to change without prior notice
★・NOTE: if we are mutuals/friends, I might be willing to overlook some of these rules (like if you leave out a detail in an ask I might fill in the blanks based on things I know you like). But if and only if we are muts.・★
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★・TAG LIST・★
☆〜requested - finished edit
☆〜request pending... - asking for clarification for edits, etc
☆〜inbox - asks
☆〜anon - anon asks/requests
☆〜self-indulgent - self-indulgent edits
☆〜declined - denied requests
☆〜promo - promos
☆〜info - information/announcements about the blog
☆〜uta speaks - textposts
☆〜uta reblogs - reblogs
☆〜event! - for events, requests for the events will not be tagged with this, but rather with the name of the event. this tag is for event-related promos and posts announcing my events.
☆〜edit challenge - edit challenges
link: [xxx] ☆ - where the link in a caption will lead you (if applicable)
☆〜polls! - polls
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★・BLACKLIST・★
・requests for any of the following will be deleted or declined.・
★・(sources) boyfriends (webtoon), Blend S, Menhera-chan, drv3, dr3, south park, hoyoverse
★・(game content) revival cards, anything from donnaketsu 2dmv (cards are okay)
★・(aesthetics) traumacore, weirdcore, dreamcore, etc.
★・(ships) zenitsu x nezuko
★・(hcs) any gender hcs for Mizuki aside from transfem (xenogenders are usually fine, but case-by-case)
★・(characters) Main Character (DDLC) | Mikan Tsumiki | Aqua, Ruby (onk)
★・any kind of problematic ship (incest, adult x child, etc.)
★・real people/actors (if you found me before this revamp, yes, I've done it before. I found it made me uncomfortable, i will not be doing it again.)
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★・WHITELIST ・★
・requests for any of the following will be prioritized.・
★・(sources) project sekai, vocal synths, demon slayer, stellar paradigm
★・(characters) Matsudappoiyo | Nightcord at 25:00, Wonderlands x Showtime, Toya, Akito, Airi, Saki, Honami | Rui Ayaki, Enmu, Nezuko, Zenitsu, Inosuke, Mitsuri, Tengen, Kanao, Aoi | Kenma, Hinata | Toko, Kyoko, Sakura, Aoi, Mondo, Chihiro, Sayaka, Celeste, Akane, Hajime, Nagito, H-y-ko (i know some people dont like her so her name is censored 👍) Mahiru, Kazuichi, Ibuki, all the udg kids | August, Hirano
★・(ships) Mizuena, Anhane, Kanamafu, Ruikasa, Shizuai, Shizurui, Shizukasa, Shizuruikasa, Mizurui, Mafurui, Kanarui, anything niigosho tbh, Honasaki, Emunene, Mafunene, Honasaki | Kagehina | Tokomaru, Ishimondo, Akanidai | Obamitsu, Aoino, Shinomitsu | Calaug
★・(types) icons, gifs/gifsets, colorpicked flags, dividers, blinkies
★・(aesthetics/themes) pride, glitchcore/vaporwave, webcore, scenecore
★・(etc) rui pd icons. <3 that boy is Nawt egotypical
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★・SOURCES・★
★・project sekai
★・vocal synths
★・demon slayer
★・stellar paradigm
★・haikyuu!!
★・pmuse
★・sweet sins superstars
★・death palette/matsuro
★・danganronpa
★・alter ego
★・purrgatory
★・the amazing digital circus
★・needy streamer overload
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★・DNI ・★
racist, queerphobic, ableist, anti-neopronouns/xenogenders, transandrophobic, discourse-focused blogs nsfw blog, anti-recovery, (pro)transx, pro map/nomap/pedo
★・BYI ・★
i am in no way against agere, but i cannot and will not guarantee everything on this blog will be child-safe. There's nothing explicitly nsfw but there are curse words, some sources i edit may involve violence or curse words, and things of that nature
as stated above I barely know about kinning and irls and things of that nature, i have surface level knowledge just from interacting w people who are kins/irls/ids etc but like that's it. I try to be friendly and welcome to everyone, though.
I'm human, I make mistakes. If i offend on accident, please, i am begging you to tell me. it's never intentional, I'm always trying to better myself.
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・divider credit・
・layout credit・
・replycons by me・
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magpie-to-the-morning · 3 years ago
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Insatiable - Prequel
Pairing: Santiago Garcia x Frankie Morales
Word count: 1k
Chapter Tags: Wolf shifter AU, Angst, blood, allusions to self-harm, hurt/comfort
Author’s Note: Sorry to leave you hanging with the main story, but I couldn’t get this prequel scene out of my mind! This takes place during the events of Triple Frontier, the night before the meeting to discuss the money. Inspired by this gifset and me wondering when Frankie shaved.
Thank you to @acrossthesestars for being my amazing beta reader, cheerleader, and friend 🖤
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Moodboard by @acrossthesestars
The heavy door swings shut with a metallic hiss, its lock engaging with a finite click. Two double beds, bland watercolors, an aged air conditioner on full blast. The door to the en suite bathroom is propped open, the formica counter across from it boasting a tiny coffee-maker, plastic wrapped cups, and a stack of fluffy, slightly off-white towels beside an additional sink.
After days spent fighting just to survive, scaling mountains, wading rivers, fighting and bleeding and taking hit after hit after hit, the comfort and safety of the modest hotel room feels excessive. Unearned.
At least, that’s what Pope thinks as he drops his travel-stained duffel, letting it fall to the thin beige carpet with a dull thud. Grasping for normalcy, he turns to his partner, the ghost of a smile on his exhausted face. It doesn’t reach his eyes.
“Flip you for the first shower.”
The familiar words, usually met with affectionate bickering about who smells worse or, more often when they have this kind of privacy, the two of them showering together, ring hollow this time. Fish, his eyes haunted and dull, only shakes his head as he trudges to the bathroom, alone.
Santiago can hear him undressing through the closed door. It’s slow at first. Hushed. The wet smack of waterlogged clothing hitting linoleum. The clink of a belt buckle. One boot tossed to the floor, the other flung there. A flurry of muffled thumps, each louder than the last - the unmistakable sound of knuckles striking tile. A cracked sob.
“Fuck,” Santi winces. He leans his head against the door and knocks. Frankie doesn’t answer.
“Come on, man.” He tries the door, but it’s locked from the other side. It’s the last straw for nerves already stretched past breaking, and Santi slams a hand against the cheap particle-board door, making it rattle on its flimsy hinges. He raises his voice to carry over the shower’s spray and Frankie’s attempts to shut him out.
“Fish, talk to me! I know that job was - what did you call it? A serious fuck-up? You were right, okay? I know everything’s fucked, I just - “ His voice cracks, just a little. “I just need to know you’re okay.”
There’s a long silence, long enough for Santi to seriously consider busting down the door because like hell is he losing anyone else on this godforsaken trip, least of all his mate. Frankie can hate him as much as he needs to, Christ knows he deserves it for dragging them all into this, but if he’s hurt himself -
I’m fine.
Frankie’s answer, when it comes through their mental bond, is terse, and obviously bullshit, but it still nearly takes Santi’s knees out from under him, relief slamming into him like the waves on that damn beach.
Yeah?
Yeah.
Worry still tears at Santi but he leaves it at that. He strips off his own clothing, still drenched in seawater and blood and failure, piling it in a sodden heap. Finding hand towels and a neatly-wrapped cake of soap smelling faintly of lavender, he scrubs days worth of grime from his body. Even washing off in front of a sink feels indulgent after the hell he’s dragged his pack through. He stares at the gray suds swirling down the drain every time he wrings out the towel, watching it grow darker and grimier with every pass over his bruised and battered skin.
Every memory is like a blow: Ironhead’s grunt of pain after being shot. The wailing of the helicopter’s alarms as it crashed. Fish's worry and fear and flat-out panic. Blood on granite, sand, the sea. It’s too much, and all his fault…
Just as adrenaline begins to claw at him, the bathroom door opens. Frankie emerges, cleaner now, water still dripping from his dark hair, seal-slick against his skull. The haunted look has receded from his eyes, leaving him looking as exhausted and hollowed out as Santi feels. Santi doesn’t miss the blood welling along his still-clenched knuckles.
“Hey,” he ventures. “Feeling any better?”
Frankie only shrugs. Santi takes him by the shoulder and steers him to the foot of the bed.
“My contact is going to stop by in a few hours to pick up the money. She said she’d bring some clothes, first aid shit, some real food.” As he talks, he uses the last clean towel to dab at Frankie’s split knuckles, careful not to scrub too roughly against raw, tender skin. “You want anything else?”
Frankie shakes his head. They both know the only things they want are out of reach, even with the remaining money they had fought and sacrificed for. Because of that money.
“You heard from the Millers?” They’re the first words Frankie has spoken in hours, his voice as hoarse as if it had been days.
“Not yet, but they’re across the hall if you want to check in.”
“Maybe later.” Frankie’s shoulders are hunched, his eyes downcast. He scratches absently at his jawline, his salt and pepper whiskers longer than he usually prefers. Catching his hand, Santi gives it a quick, steadying squeeze.
“I think I still have a razor around here somewhere.”
“Would you - “ Frankie finally meets his mate’s eyes and the hurt there nearly splits Santi’s chest open. He swallows, unable to finish, but Santi nods, his own throat aching.
“Of course.”
-
Santi has to get a little creative - a warm washcloth rather than a hot towel, hotel conditioner instead of shaving cream, but none of that matters. What matters is the sight of Frankie’s tight shoulders easing as Santi sweeps the razor over his cheek, fingers steady beneath the other man’s jaw.
“I’ve been thinking - after we get all the paperwork sorted, what do you think about getting away for a few days? Just the two of us?”
Frankie looks up at him, interest and skepticism that cuts Santi to the quick warring in his brown eyes. “What did you have in mind?”
“Just a vacation, I promise,” Santi says, raising his hands in a jokingly defensive way that falls entirely flat. He blows out a breath and tries again.
“We’re due some leave, especially after this shitshow. I was thinking maybe Ponta Preta?” He swishes the razor in a nearby cup before turning Frankie’s jaw to reach another angle.
“I don’t know, man.”
“No surfing, got it. Rio?”
Frankie shifts nervously and mutters “Too many tourists.”
Santi sighs, defeated. “Yeah, maybe we should just head…back to base.” He’d been about to say “home” but the shifter barracks on the base, spartan and secret as they are, are the closest the two of them get.
He makes a final pass of his razor, checking his work before setting it aside. “All set.” He squeezes Frankie’s shoulders and is about to pull away when the other man catches his hand.
“What about… Costa Rica?”
Part One
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leqclerc · 3 years ago
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Hey everyone.
As always, I hate oversharing and being negative on here, but occasionally things get to a point where you feel like you have to address something and I guess now is that time for me.
I guess I’m going through a bit of creative burnout at the moment? Lately I just...struggle to find much motivation to create and share. Feedback economy has been on the decline for some time now, but now it’s just...maybe it’s the fact that it’s winter break, but I often find myself missing the engagement and community aspect that was once present. I miss the conversations. Right now it feels kind of lonely being here, and I don’t know if that’s just me or if that’s a universal feeling but yeah.
I don’t know what to make. Inspiration is low, my computer’s ability to handle more complex projects is ever decreasing, so more ~creative gifsets usually end up taking a good few hours to make, and then don’t...really seem to be all that well received? I’ve been struggling on the writing front as well. I know there’s an element of self indulgence in everything content creators make, but sometimes it’s starting to feel like shouting into the void. I would genuinely love to know what kind of content people want to see, so if anyone wants to leave feedback or requests or ideas...feel free to do so. Because I’m a bit lost at the moment. Fandom is, for a lot of people, including me, a form of escapism. A hobby. Something that’s detached from irl struggles and responsibilities. More than anything I want fandom to be fun and creative, for ideas and thoughts to be swapped and shared, and I guess it just hasn’t been fun for me lately. Maybe it’s just me, maybe someone else is out there feeling the same.
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wolfstar-in-color · 3 years ago
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June Creator Spotlight: BigBlackDog
Hello, colorful cuties, and welcome to our first creator spotlight!!
Each month, we will highlight a different creator in our lovely fandom who features diverse characterizations. We will invite you to get to know them better through questions and answers, Fandom Discourse(tm), and a featured prompt created by our guest!!!
For our first spotlight, we are more than pleased to highlight the incredible work of bigblackdog!!! See a little snippet of this wonderful interview below, along with bigblackdog’s prompt! Look below the cut for our complete interview. Don’t forget to share and interact with this post, and if you have anyone you’d like to recommend for a spotlight, shoot us an ask! You can find our first guest’s Tumblr here.
“I've experienced ups and downs in the wolfstar fandom. It often feels like the wolfstar fandom is willing to engage in discussion about every political issue but race. And the few people who are trying to talk about race consistently encounter this silence.”
bigblackdog’s prompt: I want to see more latino characters who are not impoverished or criminalized. Give me a joyful latino/e remus!
Hello, I'm bigblackdog! I'm almost 30, and I've been active in fandom on various platforms for about seven years now. I'm latina/e and live in the u.s. with a small white dog.
Q: How did you start creating in the fandom? What did you wish to bring into the fandom? 
A: Like a lot of fans I started with self insert fic as a middle schooler. Sometimes the practice of self-insert gets ragged on in fandom, as if you're not doing real character work, but I think it's really cool. And if you're an under represented identity in the traditional western canon of literature, self insert is a radical practice. Making space for yourself in a story that refuses or ignores your identities is a radical act. And that's what i want to bring to fandom-- disruption and self care.
Q: What things about s/r as characters or in their relationship inspire you to create around them? 
A: Wolfstar was the first queer ship I was introduced to. I wasn't someone who arrived in fandom with my own robust queer reading skills, I needed other queers to hold my hand and introduce me to queer ships and how to find them and build them. My interest in r/s was simply a clinging to queerness I wasn't finding in other places. I really think it could have been any characters, as long as they were queer.
Q: What things would you like to highlight about the Wolfstar fandom and your experience in it? 
A: I've experienced ups and downs in the wolfstar fandom. It often feels like the wolfstar fandom is willing to engage in discussion about every political issue but race. And the few people who are trying to talk about race consistently encounter this silence. It's hard not to feel bitter. But i've also met some amazing people and overall feel that fans really are trying their best to be welcoming and inclusive.
Q: What type of content do you wish you saw more in the fandom? 
A: I want to see more discourse that aims at amplifying underrepresented voices like wolfstar-in-color. I want to see more fans of color joyfully and irreverently writing themselves into the magical world!
Q: What is your favourite wolfstar fancontent (fic/fanart/gifset/etc) and how does it inspire you? 
A: I love dontthinkonithermione's rp. Not only does she do an amazing nerdy know it all Hermione, she envisions Black characters in every corner of the hp world. Have you seen her Hogwarts p.e. professor rps? i love the space she creates for herself, and the joy she does it with.
Q: Which of your own identities inform your creative processes? How has that process been for you? 
A: I started out in fandom really trying to feel out the nooks and crannies of being queer. As i've spent more time in fandom and become more confident in my queerness I've started looking closer at some of my other identities-- Latina, mixed, adhd-- and how i can squeeze them into the hp world. For a long time it was hard, especially with being Latine and mixed, to envision how that identity could belong in a 90s British boarding school in the Scottish wilderness. I also really struggled with the feeling that i would get "diversity" wrong. I’ve also struggled with feeling like I have to write diversity because i'm an underrepresented voice. Brown people are often pressured to do the work of educating white people about racism and in fandom spaces that often means pressure to write the reality of racism instead of the fantasy that white writers get to play with. And sometimes i just want to write a pwp without worrying about the revolution, you know? But i really love fandom for its refusal to play by the rules of capitalism and canon, eventually i started to feel like putting more of myself into my writing was another rule i could break.
Q: What advice do you have for other content creators with diverse backgrounds in the fandom? What would you say to people that might feel they don’t have the “right” history/experience/characteristics to participate in the creation of content related to Wolfstar? 
First, there's a lot of content on tumblr that aims to silence your voice, learn how to recognize the difference between cancel culture and encouragement. Sometimes content that seems well meaning still presents writing diversity as a list of black and white rules (and virtue signaling) instead of encouragement for underrepresented voices to share their own messy experience. Set those rules gently aside. Second, fandom is built on the idea that the author isn't the only person who gets to play. we all get to play. It doesn't always feel like we were invited, but the great thing about fandom is there is no barrier to entry, no prior experience or publishing hoops to jump through. This is our playground too. If canon is dead then why can't our stories be brown and queer and neurodivergent? Third, find your people. i've found that having just one other person to talk about race with has made the whole space feel more welcoming.
Q: How could we build a more diverse fandom? 
A: We have to stop prioritizing white and cis male voices. We recognize that policing irl is a problem inextricable from whiteness and maleness, but we don't see that fandom policing online is also a problem deeply embedded in whiteness and maleness. White and cis male people frequently use their discomfort with difficult topics to change the subject from a critical discussion to one that prioritizes their white and/or male feelings. The same thing happens online when personal discomfort is used to cancel or undermine content that's challenging to a white or male voice. White and cis male voices are used to having their needs met above others. And we still cater to that in fandom spaces when we privilege 'fetishization' discourse over racial discourse. When we lift up bipoc and women/trans/nb voices and the issues they're concerned with we'll make fandom a more welcoming place for underrepresented voices.
Q: What’s your favourite thing to modify in Sirius’s or Remus’s characterizations to bring new perspectives to them? 
A: It really depends on the story i'm writing and what issue i'm trying to figure out. Sometimes i need Sirius to be Adhd to come to terms with my brain, sometimes i need two brown boys to fall in love and be happy against all odds.
Q: What does diversity mean to you? What does that encompass in fannish spaces? 
A: This is a hard question! I tend to think of diversity as those voices that are disenfranchised or pushed to the margins. And fannish spaces have all the same hierarchies and blind spots as other spaces. In fannish spaces there's the idea that you can curate your experience to some extent, but for marginalized voices, at least in my experience, no matter how much you curate the marginalization is still there.
Q: What are your ideas about the notions of culture and ethnicity? How do you relate to those notions? 
A: There was a time in my life where relating to my ethnicity was largely a process of recognizing larger systems of oppression and how they worked against my various identities. And for a while it was a really helpful way to frame my experiences. Now I feel a little less attached to ethnicity as like, a monolithic concept threaded through my whole life and more attached to the small things that I enjoy about my ethnicity and culture-- making a really good pot of beans, for example.
Q: Leave us with a quote or work of art that always inspires you. 
A: "Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation, and that is an act of political warfare." Audre Lorde
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vorskra · 4 years ago
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VORSKRA - A WRITEBLR (RE) INTRODUCTION
Hello, my name is Vall! I used to have another blog (that I will quickly delete as soon as I can) but I had a 2020 existential crisis so big I couldn’t even write or draw or even open tumblr for the life of me. Because of this I felt my blog was stale and that I had to renew it and change a few things so here we are, friends. 
A few things about me I guess: I’m an archeologist doing my masters, I’m 22 and I’m tired perpetually. I have 4 cats and 1 dog and tbh I live for them. I’m also an artist (not going to say I’m a good one though I’m not that confident) and I dabble on graphic design. 
MY WIPS
a curse most foul - dark fantasy in which everyone gets an existential crisis because so do i all the time. it follows five characters through several thousands of years and a lot of emotional dread.
ama and the painted world - aka the most whimsical, self indulgent fantasy with more mental health undertones that follows a girl who wants very badly to be a sucessful painter but her obsession gets her stuck in her own painted world and now she has to figure out how to leave before it swallows her up.
OTHER BLOGS
butchrofblaviken - a multifandom blog that is mostly video games and I’ll hopefully post my own edits and gifsets on this one. like i’ll actually use this one this time beyond just reblogging shitposts i promise.
vorskra-art - this one is just for art. i’ll reblog art and hopefully also post art at some point as well.  PLEASE IF YOU HAVE AN ART BLOG TELL ME BTW.
MISC
wattpad .   pinterest .   ko-fi.
I will be making a mobile navigation friendly post + proper wip intros as soon as I can which is basically as soon as uni lets me. Hell, just making all these blogs took me a WHILE. 
Beneath the read more I will tag people who very kindly asked to be tagged in this intro, thank you guys for following my dumbass all the way here:
@kowlazovdi  @skyfireflight-writes  @ryan-shepard-writes  @tsainami  @siarven  @soul-write  @rkmoriyama  @rhikasa  @samplewriting  @lasbrumas  @papersky-pencilstars  @writings-of-a-narwhal  @harehearts  @aureliobooks  @sybil-writes  @aflaat
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redbullseb · 3 years ago
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HEYA is there any mcr song that you associate with seb? totally random question, sorry 🥺
HELLO ANON! DO NOT APOLOGIZE.
so there are several aka their whole discography and i hope u will indulge me while i extensively type out which mcr songs are seb's and why ok thank u <3 going by album...
bullets
early sunsets over monroeville: so this song is on the surface obvs about dawn of the dead but god. it's so fitting for ferrari seb bc of the themes re: illusion of happiness and killing a loved one and knowing about the certainty of the end and it's all just so fucking profound. the way the music gets stripped away until it's just gerard screaming "there's a corpse in this bed"??? ferrari seb. also the fact that g was suffering from major dental problems and had to be physically told to pussy up before he marched into john naclerio's basement to blow the boys all away too with the ending of the song always just makes me so. emotional. imagine ur frank anthony iero aged 20 and u just hear That come out of your friend's brother's mouth after only really knowing him as a weirdo introvert tangentially related to the jersey music scene. fucking life changing. i too would drop everything and follow him to the ends of the earth. this song makes me emotional this band makes me emotional. okay moving on before i start crying
revenge
helena: this is like . specifically seb leaving red bull and moving on. also could be ferrari seb. as u might be able to tell i have a lot of feelings about seb's ferrari arc. anyway the lyrics like . goodnight, not goodbye. and more to the ferrari seb point: g was just. filled with so much self hatred and regret and he was in such a bad place in his life when he wrote the lyrics but it has such heart and inspired him to let go of his grandma's death and kicked his ass to getting sober and yknow MAYBE i'm just projecting seb onto like my issues and g's issues bc i'm pretty like. i hate to say it. not a fan of gerard these days? or more like, i’m tired of his bullshit. and his wife's bullshit. that's irrelevant. the point is that this song is widely applicable to all tragedies and it's a seb song
fashion statement: ASTON! MARTIN! SEB! god okay i love this song it's probably my fave off revenge. i love the idea of him coming back in full glory. and we saw flashes of him being hungry in monaco and baku and scream!!! scream!!!!!!!!! this song!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i never told you what i do for a living: MORE ferrari seb. this album is just. ferrari seb how many fucking times have i said ferrari seb. anyway "touched by angels though i fall out of grace" HELLO. no further comment needed methinks.
before i continue: pauline aka @formula-whine makes an excellent case for revenge being an album about red bull seb and is ceo of the emo seb agenda and has amazing art and asks and i will link/reblog them when i am back on my laptop tomorrow but they should be under the emo seb tag on my blog too!
black parade
wttbp: this song is a skip imo except for the rare occasions where i REALLY want to be 13 again hearing this for the first time but omg have u seen the vid of him mouthing along to the lyrics 😭😭😭 he goes so hard he has an air guitar this is a boy who had an (internal) emo phase i just know it. we know he likes the misfits and punk rock and my chem is just one step away. in all seriousness tho the whole message to carry on? and the entire post chorus i.e. “do or die, you’ll never make me / because the world will never take my heart / go and try, you’ll never break me / we want it all, we want to play this part / i won’t explain or say i’m sorry / i’m unashamed, i’m gonna show my scars” isnt that seb in a nutshell throughout his whole career? this man does not give the fuck up and neither should we!
house of wolves: HAVE YOU SEEN THE VIDEO OF G SPANKING HIMSELF ON STAGE WHILE SINGING THIS SONG… anyway red bull seb’s whore behaviour is off the fucking charts like that gifset i reblogged today where he just gives off Man Who Fucks energy??? yeah this song suits him. also recently he was talking about being naughty and what do u know… “tell me i’m a bad man, kick me like a stray / tell me i’m an angel, take this to my grave”?????? HORNY!! frank was insane for this
sleep: ferrari seb yet again. “and through it all, how could you cry for me?” “kiss me goodbye and sleep / the hardest part is letting go of your dreams” also the entire second verse reminds me of like when that whole dts arc where seb tried to fight against charles replacinf him in ferrari and was a bastard on track. side note this song is criminally underrated ngl like i think g’s screams from tbpid will haunt me forever
disenchanted: i already screamed about it eep
famous last words: that one moment in dts when seb’s talking to christian and is like “and then come home.” THAT’S IT. also again the theme about carrying on and perseverance and holy shit i’m actually tearing up mcr has saved my life so many times i never planned on making it past 16 but here i am 20 years old alive and trying and lying in bed typing about them
blood: seb @ the media and social media. yeah
skipping conventional weapons for personal reasons
danger days
this entire album is rb seb and the anti capitalism stuff is current seb like LOOK ALIVE, SUNSHINE! 109 in the sky but the pigs won’t quit!! you’re here with him: sebastian vettel!! he’ll be your surgeon your proctor etc etc LOUDER THAN GOD’S REVOLVER AND TWICE AS SHINY he’s a rock n roller a crash queen a motor baby listen besties the future is bulletproof. the aftermath is secondary. gravity don’t mean much to him. and that is red bull seb. eeee for the sake of avoiding redundancy i’m just gonna list lyrics <3
“if my velocity starts to make you sweat, then just don’t let go”
“i’m unbelievable (yeah) i’m undefeatable (YEAH) let’s ruin everything BLAST IT TO THE BACK! ROW!”
“so hit the lights, i’ll do it again / and keep your cars and your dogs and your famous friends”
“ain’t nobody gonna take my life / ain’t nobody gonna get the best of me”
“everybody hit the pyro cue / we’re gonna blow this off and show you what we do”
“this ain’t about all the friends you made, but the graffiti they write on your grave”
“when the lights go out, will you take me with you? / and carry all this broken bone / through six years down in crowded rooms and highways i call home?”
“they don’t believe in us, but i believe we’re the enemy”
the horny part in destroya. all of it
“all the cameras watch the accidents and stars you hate / they only care if you can bleed”
“‘cause you only live forever in the lights you make.”
eep i am so tired but essentially i have a lot of feelings about seb and his legacy also many many feelings about mcr’s breakup. yes they’re back together but i doubt mcr5 is ever dropping and how perfectly sad is that alshdksg they need to make another album just so seb can get his fifth world championship etc etc okay it’s 2 in the morning i am going to bed if u made it this far hello congrats stream death spells for clear skin
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scoopsgf · 3 years ago
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Hi, Bee Dee! Big fan of yours here, I’m in the middle of a writer crisis today and would like to bother you asking for advice, hope you won’t mind!
So, I write for this pairing that has a very small fandom and most of the time I ignore the fact that 8 people (max) will read this fic I spent weeks planning and working on and putting all my love into, because... well, I’m doing it mostly because I love the ship and I want to tell stories about them. I tell myself it’s mostly self-indulging but you know how it goes. When you release it in the world, all you want is to talk about it and you want people to be excited about it too, and tell you which were they favorite parts, etc. Then you get 0 comments and 1 dm telling you what they liked but they don’t want to keep talking about that thing you’re so passionate about. They move on quickly bc that story wasn’t stuck in their heads for a long time like it was in yours, I’m left empty after this, then I start working on a new draft because all I can dream about are stories involving these two idiots. I feel so alone and egocentric when I whine about it, but it really hurts, how do you deal with these type of feeling? I’ve seen you feel bummed that X chapter didn’t get many comments or kudos, that’s why I’m asking. I know you can feel this way too even though usually you get lots of people interested and excited for your work (as you should!), I just wanted to hear from someone that seems as in love to what they write as I am for what I write (writing is the thing I love the most in life), how do I stop expecting something I know I won’t get? (I know this feeling won’t last (I’ll distract myself from it soon enough) but today my brain is totally crushing me and making me feel so so small :()
honestly, i think most writers—as soon as they publish their work—hope for some kind of feedback. i mostly tend to feel this sort of worried/anxious hopelessness when i notice a dip in engagement or feedback (which i monitor extremely closely bc i’m insane). if a chapter gets like 30 comments (rlly good feedback) and then the next one only gets 20, i panic and wonder what happened to the other ten people and why this chapter fell short of the mark. it’s mostly about wanting to ensure that i’m still satisfying the ppl reading my fics and not boring them. and tbh, i’m really tired of the narrative that writers should feel ashamed for wanting feedback! we put this stuff out there for free and many of us are working around jobs and school and even kids, but we’re doing it because we love the material and it’s fun and it creates this sense of community. i don’t think there’s anything wrong with wishing for that, especially when it comes to smaller fandoms. bigger ones like HP are so huge you have niches within them, like people who only care about the marauders or people who solely stan draco malfoy. smaller fandoms require constant engagement to keep going, which is why it’s important that people put in a tiny bit of effort to rb the gifsets content creators spend hours making, and talk to each other about this opinion or that, and leave a comment on a fic or rb it to boost it. i think my best advice for you would be to keep writing, keep publishing, but also make sure to engage with other people in your fandom. give as good as you get! reply to any comments you receive, comment on other people’s work, get to know people and try to foster that bond through fandom! and write. like really, all the time. the more you write the better you’ll be. writing is like a muscle that needs constant flexing to stay in shape. on that note, read too. you’ll come across new words and ways of thinking that influence your work and make it better. and try to do it just for you at the end of the day. write everything before publishing so a story is your own before it’s anyone else’s <3
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theintentioncraft · 4 years ago
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To continue supporting content makers, this tag game is meant to show the entire process of making creative content: this can be for any creation.
RULES - When your work is tagged, show the process of its creation from planning to posting, then tag up to 5 people with a specific link to one of their creative works you’d like to see the process of. Use the tag #showyourprocess so we can find yours.
I've been tagged by @lordbelacqua (thank you Dea! <3) to talk about Backlead aka: that one Masriel fic I wrote where I got massively carried away...
Rambling/essay under the cut - fair warning, it's a long one!
Okay so first of all just a little disclaimer that Backlead did not follow my usual writing process - the idea was 110% borne out of self-indulgence and it was also both my first foray into HDM fanfic and my return to fanfic as a whole after a long hiatus from writing, so for me this was really a chance to just get back into the swing of things. Everything from Heavenly Guard through to Swansong and all of my current WIPs follow a more structured process and I'm happy to discuss any of them in a separate post!
PLANNING: I tend to find with my fics that I either have a nice little timeline of events planned out pre-writing or I have a very specific event in my head and I just take that and see how things unravel from there and Backlead was 100% the latter.
All I had in my head initially was the ballroom dance scene and so a lot of my admittedly-minimal planning was around the technicalities of that particular section, as well as some of the more general details e.g Marisa's outfit, the setting of the ball, etc. Planning the dance was the most fun part because it was a chance for me to put a lot of my dance knowledge to good use and think up something that fits the back-and-forth way in which Marisa and Asriel frequently navigate their encounters. In a way though I'm actually very glad that a lot of this fic Just Happened instead of being planned out, sometimes it's nice to just run away with an idea!
MUSIC: This gets its own section because this is one of the most important things in my process. Every single fic I write is written to various pieces of music that just help me to put myself in the right headspace for whatever I'm writing at the time - sometimes its just a single piece of music (I wrote Swansong in one hour with just one track from the Unforgotten - a TV show in the UK for those of you not familiar with it - soundtrack on repeat) and sometimes its entire playlists. I do love geeking out about my music choices for fic writing so happy to talk more in a separate post about music for some of my other fics if anyone's curious!
For Backlead I found a couple of playlist-vids from the lovely raviolae on youtube that really worked wonders for my writing. This comes with a disclaimer that I did not necessarily attribute any of these specific songs to either dance scene and I wanted to leave that open for people's imagination - but it's still brilliant vibes for thinking about two once-lovers-now-enemies trying to one-up each other whilst ignoring how much they still find each other attractive.
The two playlist-vids in question are here: you're stuck on the dance floor with your rival and find out they're an annoyingly good dancer and you're dancing with your rival and both of you want to lead
WRITING: First step every time is to figure out who's POV I'm going to cover because that makes a major difference in the way I'm going to write. Characterisation is the big thing for me and there's nothing I love more than to really get inside a character's head and basically think like them, and figure out what makes them tick and how they'll react to the story I'm putting them in. With my initial idea for Backlead being basically about the subtle power dynamics of a ballroom dance, Marisa felt like the natural go-to for this one and I found it much easier in this instance to write in her headspace than in Asriel's.
I wrote this fic in a very out-of-order fashion. The first dance (the slower, waltz-style dance) was the first part I finished, then I did as hinted at above get very carried away and move onto the section in the hallway, then I went right to the start and covered the entire section leading up to that first dance. Then I revisited the hallway scene because I wanted to rework it (the initial version was planned to be more explicit and involved less dialogue - but I wasn't comfortable with writing out the former at that time and the latter got changed by way of me having a sudden burst of dialogue-themed inspiration). The second, more set piece style dance came last in terms of the 'major events' that I wrote purely because I spent a lot of time racking with my dance knowledge to try and make it work in a way that didn't feel forced.
My final major writing stage is to write the 'transitions' between each major part - small pieces where nothing particularly noteworthy happens but it helps the fic to flow from one conversation/event to the next and also sometimes allows me to sneak in a bit of characterisation that I couldn't fit in elsewhere.
Along the way I often leave sentences half-finished with a bracket indicator so I know to go back to it later or I make little notes if I've added something in that needs explaining earlier in the fic, and I make sure to sort those parts out before I jump to the self review/beta reader stage. A couple of examples are below:
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Although sometimes this method does also annoy future me too 😂:
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SELF REVIEW/BETA REVIEW: Whenever I finish a fic, it gets put away for a day or two and I stop thinking about it completely - if I'm using a beta reader (usually @thatlavanderbard but I sometimes enlist help from friends on discord), I'll send them a copy of my draft at this point so they can start going through and leaving comments for me to work on, but the idea is that when I go back to my work a few days later I'm looking at it with semi-fresh eyes and can properly sift through each sentence to make sure things make sense.
When I'm self-reviewing I generally tend to follow this order of operations: spelling/grammar check (via docs') -> flow check (making sure any deliberate time skips/POV changes/etc in my fic flow smoothly from one part to the next) -> address beta reader comments (because they almost always pick up on things I myself would've picked up on anyway) -> general detailed final read through to make sure I'm happy with every single line and it all makes sense.
Backlead didn't get a full beta read because I had hit a point with it where I just wanted it up ASAP and my impatience got the better of me, but the rest of the above self-review stages still happened and I still spent a fair few evenings going through it properly and also running the occasional sentence or two by some helpful discord friends if I didn't like the way it flowed but couldn't quite figure out how to remedy it!
POSTING: First step was to reset my AO3 password because I forgot it yet again whoops
On a more serious note this part is pretty straightforward - once I'm ready to post a new fic I generally just go on autopilot for this part of the process (other than when I get to 'additional tags' and immediately get brain freeze...). As soon as it's up on AO3 I swing by here to make a post about it, then swing by discord to drop the link to friends who may be interested in reading it and then I normally nervously scuttle away from my notifications for a while out of fear that people hate it lmao.
That last part was especially true for Backlead because of it being my first trip into HDM fanfic and I always get extra nervous when posting my first fanfic for a new show/game/etc. Thankfully I got quite a few nice comments both on here and on discord that provided good motivation to stick around and post a few more things!
I always panic when asked to tag people lmao but I'll tag @fortheloveofwii for any part of the Onward, Onward series, @lyracordelia for any chapter in Hiraeth or the fic as a whole, and @glassrunner for this absolutely gorgeous gifset of beautiful game soundtracks. Please don't feel like you have to do this if you don't want to though!
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elvencantation · 4 years ago
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gyadl ep16 liveblog
-oh my god i’m so bad a badminton i kept forgetting i had a partner cause i got too focused and whacked her on the nose 😂
-also what’s with the weird sort of but not rly matching outfits?
-of course he’s gonna correct her stance physically. it’s supposed to be cute so i hate it
-i admit tianying is adorable
-oh sketchy time!
-my boy fusheng is back!!
-i missed him!!
-WAIT IS THAT LUO CHENG WITH HIS HAIR SLICKED BACK??
-ofc he had to mention tianying 😒
-u gonna make my boy mad
-FUCK HIM UP LFS
-oh no he’s leading u away on purpose
-i think i’ve seen a gifset of this alley scene
-LFS’S SMILE WITH THE MACHETE OVER HIS SHOULDER AS HE SEES HIS OPPONENTS OMG
-omg him just yelling at them. ahhhh i love him!!!!!!
-he’s covered in blood and i probs shouldn’t find that hot...?
-A CHURCH IS A ROMANTIC PLACE?? SINCE WHEN XXC???
-ofc tianying’s regular voice is so sweet!
-back to lfs thank god cause idc about xxc
-luo cheng i love youuuu
-ah it was too short!! back to xxc
-oh my god i SO don’t care about what u have to say xxc 😒
-oh no qikai is leaving xxc and lfs alone
- oh no fusheng bb ☹️
-oh honeyyy
-i wanna hug him!
-OH NO!!! he’s being honest!!
-i’m GONNA START CRYING
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-so glad someone finally asked him. i like shuang-jie! more shaung-jie for lfs! he deserves kindness!!!
-oh god his face breaks my heart
-AAAAAAAAAAAAA
-and these bitches be out here playing badminton again
-hhhhhh i hate this so much. i know it’s all too possible for xxc to be more of a dick than before but i still don’t expect just how his dickishness shows itself
-why do i feel like xxc is gonna interrupt them or something?
-more sketchy ppl thinking they can get away with standing up to lfs
-LUO CHENG LOOKING ALL GROWN UP IN A SUIT WITH HIS HAIR SLICKED BACK
-WHERES MY GREMLIN DIDI? HE LOOKS SO SLEEK
-i love how lfs can just- reach out a hand and someone will put a machete in it. badass
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-hot
-of course it was literal women he kidnapped 😒 y i k e s
-lfs grinning with a machete in his hand is... how do you say... hot?
-oh no they making my poor boy qikai sad ☹️ he’s so sweet he doesn’t deserve this
-oh god the way lfs runs in to see her
-ofc he assumes somethings wrong- that confused little blink is adorable
-‘we hope to get your blessing’ WHAT A HORRIBLE WAY TO SAY THAT
-dear god without that it might have worked. just her being like- i don’t want to ruin ur frienship with xxc (which, it’s already ruined cause xxc is a fucking asshole)
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-LITERALLY STAB ME IT WOULD HURT LESS THAN THIS. WATCHING HIM HAVE TO PRETEND TO BE OK
- THAT LITTLE HEAD DUCK SMILE THATS SO ENDEARING ON SHEN WEI IS BECAUSE THE SMILE IS FALSE TO LUO FUSHENG
-and lfs still looks at xxc with that amused indulgent smile because despite all the horrible things xxc has done to him lfs STILL FUCKING LOVES HIM
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-hhhhhhh this is so awkward i can’t
-XXC HOW ARE YOU SO FUCKING SELF CENTERED? YOURE ASKING HIM TO MOVE ON FOR YOUR SAKE, BECAUSE *YOURE* UNCOMFORTBLE OR WHATEVER
-SHUT THE FUCK UP AND THINK ABOUT SOMEONE OTHER THAN YOURSELF FOR A SECOND
-DID HE FUCKING HIRE A SECRET PHOTOGRAPHER YOU CREEP XXC WTF
-ughh and now they made xiao meimei’s crush awkward i JUST WANTED NICE THINGS FOR HER AND QIKAI THEY SEEMED TO BE GETTING ALONG
-also did xxc srsly forget he’s already engaged to hong lan? and how well it worked last time when he tried to go against his father?
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-YES AND THAT MEANS YOU SHOULD RESPECT HER FUCKING BOUNDARIES DICKHEAD 😒
-also tianying is too cute and i want her to kiss my cheek
-or even better, fusheng’s
- is it bad i feel a little happy i didnt see any hong lan in this episode?
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heroofpenamstan · 4 years ago
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WIP DAY: #1 & #2
Thanks for tagging me, @shallow-gravy and @nightwingshero! x ( Also, this includes a sneak peak prototype of that hypothetical wedding gifset we mentioned, coming in at #1. 👀👀 )
Tagging: @ariestals, @jacobseeds-mainhoe, @hawkfurze, @shellibisshe, @mackie-hattwie, @f0xyboxes @whoever won’t get offended if I tag them and want to do it!
1. First frame of one of the many gifs I am hoping to finish ASAP. ( This is going to grey me, but Wren and John are a personal fav, and @nightwingshero is a talented champ who deserves it. It will look better in the end I p r o m i s e. )
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2. she’s mine; she’s mine.—unedited (we die like men) snippet. ( Jacob and Jo (what a surprise); not worth publishing since it's quite generic—hunt the Dep kinda fic, but wanted to self-indulge the other day. Pardon my terrible writing, oof. )
[...]
Jacob's eyes rake through the assortment of photographs littering the wooden table, colors and shapes coiling the muted surface. He tries to tune out John's appraising coos and Faith's honey-laced compliments on a job well done, and Nancy's fucking beaming in the seat opposite of him.
As his eyes zero in on a snapshot laying closest to his scarred forearm, Jacob has to begrudgingly agree. 
It took ten minutes to seize most of the Sheriff's department from the moment Joseph's wrists were clasped in steel, another twenty to pull the Marshall out from the river bank, ( barking, until he wasn't, ) and another forty for Deputy Nancy to arrive at the designated location, thick file in hand and her uniform gone and replaced.
His little brother had thrown the images and documents askew on the table and, the three Heralds, like some medieval warlords, had their pick of spoils of war. Their ‘sister’ already had her Faithful drag the unconscious Marshall down to the bliss-stocked pits of her bunker, as per Joseph's command. 
John, having had enough embarrassing, dirty spats with Hudson in the past, some more public than others, had gleefully shoved her into one of his reaping trucks heading to the Valley.
And Jacob—
Jacob wonders how long the cocky little fucker will last with his Judges up North.
Calloused fingers come to pinch a photograph next to his arm, bringing it up to his face upon closer inspection. 
( Ah, yes. They still have these two to worry about. )
The snapshot had captured a chaotic 4th of July barbecue party—a staff get-together, according to Nancy. At the epicenter of the aggressive display of American flags and mustard stains and pre-mature fireworks, is the elderly Sheriff Whitehorse, button-up shirt wet from the water gun clutched in Pratt’s hand. Underneath his bicep stands the only Deputy that has managed to escape their grasp, two hot dogs cradled in dainty hands.
His fingertip finds her face easily among the countless braids hanging around it, travels from her temple to trace at her defined jaw. He tilts his head ever so slightly to take in her furrowed brows and squinting, dark eyes.
This one was still a bit of a mystery to them all. 
She was an outsider, just like them; a recruit from one state over, from what John managed to pry out during one of their brief encounters regarding one of their men carrying a blowtorch into a bar.
“That’s Jo,” Nancy chimes in, as if he asked for her fucking input. “Joanne Burton, the new probation officer from Idaho. She’s a good kid, but—” the older woman leans in, reminding Jacob of a caricature of a gossiping housewife leaning over a fence. "—A former junkie!” 
Nancy throws her arms out, and Jacob finds Faith’s hands tangled in her dingy tresses ironic. 
“Can’t trust 'em lot; it’s only at Earl’s benevolence that she got hired in the first place. Don’t suppose she’ll be climbin’ any ladders anytime soon.”
Faith’s fingers, carding through the older woman’s hair, had ceased since her jabs first came in, but her smile remained.
“Is that so?” Jacob can feel John’s grin from behind him as he plucks one of her photos from the pile. He has several of those clutched in a tattoo hand, ready to print them out on wanted flyers like it’s the Wild West, no doubt—Jacob’s seen him do it before. “We’ll give her to you then, dear sister. That way, the Deputy will be dealt with swiftly by your hand.”
His brother’s tone sounds dismissive and final, but Jacob has her file opened in front of him by now and—
His eyebrows shoot up.
A slight smile curves at his lip.
No wonder Whitehorse hired her, Jacob muses as his eyes flit through the various reports and praises and awards—she is good. 
If it wasn’t for her history of drug abuse, Jacob was damn sure she wouldn’t be here slavering away at Hope County breaking up scuffles and swatting Oregano from young punks.
He turns his head back to the photograph resting in his lap in silent contemplation. 
Jacob recalls that very same face scowling underneath the Montana summer sun, a palm cupped at her brow to steel and steady her glare—directed at him upon seeing him rough-handle some of his men when the cops were called up on the outskirts of his territory.
Just a bit of good ol’ hunting, Dep, he remembers saying to her, recalls seeing the tension in her shoulders that did not leave her form until she had cruised out of his hair.
( The Mountains go radio-silence, afterwards. The first, true sign of their family’s takeover, besides the spike of Bliss use in the Henbane and the Trojan Horse rolling in the form of John and his real estate packed with their strapped troops. )
“—I’ll arrange for my Angels to—”
“—It’s okay, Faith,” Jacob cuts in suddenly, and every eye turns to the eldest Seed in silent question. He doesn’t know what compels him to say it. Perhaps it’s the potential the girl carries, or her resolve and disdain he’d like nothing more but to crush. Maybe it’s his curiosity to see that remarkable face of hers contorting in sheer rage as she cuts through the competition, blood-spattered and blazing—
The reason doesn’t matter in the end, for Jacob has made his mind up already, and with a slight, sardonic smile, elaborates: 
“I’ll take her.”
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lostlonelylotus · 4 years ago
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Another Hiatus?
straight up thinking of taking another hiatus from Tumblr...I hate to, but I’m thinking maybe this place just isn’t good for me, even after such a long time away in the first place. More under the cut, if anyone wants to read it.
So, I struggle with a lot on a daily basis. Things that I don’t even tell what few people are around me in real life, because frankly, I don’t really have anyone to tell that I think would want to help. I’ve had to end a great deal of my friendships because they were unhealthy/toxic and others ended because I’m disabled and cannot keep up with more “social” or outgoing people (which unfortunately is usually interpreted as disinterest because of constant rescheduling or inability to go out).
No one even knows that I’ve started a particularly hard round of chemotherapy that involves painful injections, because I worry that people just get sick of hearing how I’m actually doing versus the image of me they think should be real. I lie and say that I’m fine, when I’m struggling mentally and physically. Very few people know that I’m in such severe constant pain that even with strong opiates, medical cannabis, benzodiazepines and constantly watching my diet, I’m spending 12+ hours a day in bed. I never get below a 6/10 anymore. I can’t remember what anything below that feels like. My body tortures me every waking minute.
I’m back to where I started when I began treatment in 2012 and my mental health has taken a nose dive because it all just feels so futile, you know? Treatment after treatment, surgery after surgery, fighting tooth and nail to have the bare bones of a life only to fail and wind up at square one is...Hell. 
Add onto that, that I can’t get a FT job (so no PTO or good health insurance) despite having multiple degrees and that I had a position lined up before COVID that might now no longer even exist when this is all over + that the Part Time job I have that I love has completely changed now that I’m work from home and I HATE these new tasks and miss my coworkers + that I live with an actively abusive family member + that I have no friends beyond surface-level acquaintances despite so much effort to try and make and keep friends + that I’ve struggled my whole life with internalization of everything...and you’ve got a walking disaster of a human being who should probably nowhere near this site.
My therapist is through the school I graduated from, so I can’t even see them, and it wouldn’t matter because our relationship has progressed too far and they just treat my visits like a social hour and we never even talk about my real problems. It’s pretty damn pathetic when your needs don’t even matter to your therapist.
In real life, I’m a doormat to people’s needs. You need a house sitter? That’s me and they’ll pay me pennies to do it. You need someone to teach your children during COVID because we’re co-distancing? You need someone to drop everything and help you? That’s me. But when I need something, anything? A cup of tea or a genuinely asked “How are you?”? Forget it.
I miss fandom. I miss the escape. I miss the discourse. I miss the photosets and the freaking out over characters. I miss fandom buddies.
My experience of fandom since I last left Tumblr maybe 2-3 years ago has been very solitary. AO3 fics that I *do* comment on or discord servers where I’m one of dozens or more of people that no one can really remember because it’s hard to try to “compete” to be heard with 5 other people who are friends that are talking in depth about parts of fandom that you are new to...that and Google bloody Images have been my fandom for the past 2 years. 
It’s fucking lonely out here. I feel like a fandom cowboy, alone on a prairie, occasionally passing by other cowboys and wrangling the livestock together for a moment before heading on with a half-hearted tip of our hats. It’s more than likely the reason why I haven’t published a fic in nearly 2 years, even though I’ve completed 1 or 2 little ones. I used to write all the time, all the time. Fics, ficlets, drabbles, headcanons. Screaming into the void is so much harder than just sitting there with your eyes closed and pretending there is no void.
I got into Classic Doctor Who and back into a few “older”/smaller fandoms, and when there’s no fic to be had...your only option really is Tumblr. I was writing again (am writing again?), and the photo/gif sets and the meta had me fucking inspired for the first time in...so long. I was addicted to writing again. Wrote more in the last two weeks than I have in years. Started writing a fic that’s already longer than any I’ve ever written before.
I thought I could handle it, Tumblr helped so much before in the Golden Days of Tumblr. I became part of a huge fandom friend group on Skype back then. I had friends. I had true fandom, not this bizarre one-person-imaginings experience of fandom. 
I was able to see something triggering or an opinion I disagreed with or deal with bad anons or any of the bad parts of Tumblr. I was able to see just the good, overall.
But, now, I don’t know that I can? I’m too internalizing now? Someone replies to a post with a minor disagreement and it makes me hate myself. I get a slightly disgruntled anon and I cry. People don’t tag very triggering or super stressful political items anymore, so I can’t “unplug” when I need to avoid seeing things about riots and horrendous crimes against people and so I wind up with an additional panic attack because I can’t do anything about anything. 
I don’t know if the vibe of this place has changed or if I’ve become one of the dreaded and dreadful “snowflakes” who just can’t handle shit. I think both, honestly. 
And it fucking sucks, okay? Because I was starting to get back into the swing of liking this place. I was starting to branch out and reconnect with folks I knew from before that were/are wonderful or make new fandom acquaintances. I had the carrot of having a collection of true fandoms in front of me. Of feeling connected in this time of horrendous isolation (both for the world and me personally). 
But the stick is so much bigger than I remember. So much larger and harder; a tree trunk log instead of a twig switch. I’m not taking little love taps or slightly stinging slaps, I’m being beaten with it. By it.
I don’t know what to do. I want to keep Tumbling. I want to keep building friendships and talking about dumb fandom things. I want to reblog old gifsets and have convos in the tags. I want to share fics/art back and forth. I live for the discussions that I’m starting to have again. I live for seeing 3 bloody notes on an original post I made. I live for knowing that someone, somewhere is seeing something I wrote or made or said and likes it.
I don’t want the internalization of disagreements, of a perceived inferiority to other users, of feeling bad about myself over things that aren’t even a big deal on Tumblr but are to me. I don’t want to feel even more ‘less than’ than I already do.
I don’t want to feel extreme anxiety over the insanity of the world that I can’t escape even on here because tagging is a thing of the past and it’s apparently a major faux pas to ask for tags on triggering content, even if I fully support the matters tagged. I live the insanity okay? I’m a queer, disabled, person of color, in the small-town Midwest living in poverty. I’m not some racist who just doesn’t want to see your protest content. I’m struggling to get by. 
Maybe I’ll just stop producing content? Only reblog and like? Only comb through character tags or chat with some of the fantastic people that have offered? My inspiration is declining, along with my mood.
I’d honestly contemplate a permanent hiatus (just not a deletion) if all of the fandoms that I was in had discords, but they don’t. If they do, I don’t know about them. Though, honestly, discord is not the same, and I always feel even more insignificant there. Drowned out or unimportant. 
Huh. Drowned out or unimportant, that could really be the title of this pity post. Possibly the title of an autobiography, if I was ever self-indulgent enough to write one.
If you’ve read this whole thing, then wow. Thank you, because you’ve just given more of a shit about me and my feelings than anyone in a long, long time. 
This post probably won’t be up long, it was honestly meant to be a pity-party cathartic release of feelings and will, no doubt, make me feel more pathetic the longer I leave it up.
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swashbucklery · 6 years ago
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Okay I thought I was done feeling my feelings about Linda Lee/Red Daughter but I’m NOT my feelings are INFINITE so here you go, internet.
Because look like. Yes. Best doppelnemeses fight to the death and learn a little something about themselves/each other along the way THAT’S THE GOOD SHIT, SIGN ME UP.
WE ALL WATCHED THAT ONE EPISODE OF BUFFY AT AN IMPRESSIONABLE AGE AND DEVELOPED THE SAME F/F DOPPELCEST KINK YES?
Anyway LEAVING THAT ASIDE like I just have so many emotions about the intentional way the show drew parallels between the two versions of Kara. There was so much there and I wish that I knew how to make gifs because literally all I want is that. Just four hundred gifsets of Kara’s apartment versus Linda’s apartment and all the little details that they put in there on purpose and I’m never getting over it.
And because she’s - MAYBE - dead the show isn’t going to give us the time to explore it, which tbh I’m gutted about. (They’d better let her do the fucking Leech Seed grass thing and come back to life too so that she can punch Lex in his dumb face TO DEATH, this is the only thing I want show come on LET LINDA BE THE ONE TO FINISH LEX SHE’S EARNED IT.)
Like that blanket first of all. That blanket that was red and soft and Linda wrapped herself up in it when she first went to Kara’s apartment, to read all about her. That little admission that when nobody’s watching, Linda sometimes likes soft things and sweet things.
The idea of it, Linda sitting in her empty apartment looking out the window at Kara’s warm one.
Linda wrapped up in that blanket that smells a little bit like Kara’s capitalist decadence (cinnamon-vanilla scented candles and her shampoo) and not thinking about whether or not that may or may not be comforting
Linda curled up on the couch angrily sketching Kara’s loved ones and definitely not thinking about what it would feel like to have a sister or a best friend.
For sure not wondering if that’s why Kara is so soft, because she has these soft sorts of people in her life.
The fact that Linda’s an artist!!
That apartment layout. The prepster clothes hanging on the rod, just like Kara’s but she has less; more is self-indulgent.
The fact that she journals. The idea of it, that she saw all of Kara’s thoughts and her first reaction was bile and derision, but part of her couldn’t help but be intrigued.
The part of her that loves to express itself, that needs to find a way to sketch and paint and laugh, couldn’t help but be fascinated with the idea of writing things down.
Gosh goodness gracious just give me an AU where Linda gets to go back there. Where Linda gets to think about all the ways that her life and her perspective were poisoned by Lex.
And maybe she doesn’t agree that Kara’s perspective is necessarily the correct one. But she’s thinking about it, and that’s what matters.
Linda meeting Kara for lunch, a few days after the aftermath. And it’s like - a friendly lunch? Sort of? Friendly but also Kara lowkey wants to make sure Linda hasn’t done any murders or light to moderate identity theft lately, so as friendly as that can be?
And Linda’s got paint under her fingernails and Kara asks about it.
Linda doesn’t give an inch, makes some mean comment about the value of hard work and Kara’s lazy American culture.
(The inside of her apartment is bright now, painted baby-duck yellow and when the light hits it she feels like she’s standing inside the sun. But that’s not for Kara to know. That’s Linda’s secret, and something about it - the feeling she gets when she’s in her room and the idea that not everything she knows or does has to belong to someone else - feels self-indulgent in the best most private way.)
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a-gent-galahad · 6 years ago
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Let’s suit up.
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Alright my dudes. I’ve been thinking about making this self-indulgent, long-winded post for years but with the impending release of Men in Black: International, I think it’s time for this Kingsman blog to give an official nod in acknowledgement of another great movie franchise that also struck gold by pairing together an unlikely duo, dressed them in sexy af suits and let them loose to kick some serious ass together 😎
[ companion gifset post here ]
|| SPOILERS WARNING - do not read any further if you have not watched the original Men in Black trilogy, or indeed the Kingsman movies ||
When I first heard about Men in Black: International, I was so excited because I am also an MiB super-fan. It reminded me of the fact that I am obsessed with Kingsman today because I was obsessed with Men in Black way back in 1997. I remember I had posters plastered all over my university room walls of Tommy Lee Jones and Will Smith. I actually still have those posters, rolled up and safely stored away.
I suppose you can even kind of say that because of my old obsession, Men in Black is the reason why this blog even exists. Kingsman, whilst of course being its own original and very different story, has a great deal of shared territory with Men in Black…
An independent, international, super secret organisation operating under the government radar.
The organisation’s uniform consists of a kick-ass suit, ridiculously expensive branded glasses and equally expensive wrist watch, all of which you can actually buy in real life.
The agents that don this uniform save the world over and over and over again, with the world’s population none the wiser.
An older, cool af mentor. Nothing fazes him, he doesn't smile much. Can definitely kick some serious ass despite age. His home has classic, traditional decor.
A young, street-smart protégé. Eager and tenacious. Likes to wear loud branded sports gear and wild trainers/sneakers when not Looking Good in a suit.
They first met when the protégé was just a child, soon after the protégé’s father was killed in action and saved the mentor’s life, during a mission when the mentor and the father were working closely alongside each other. Had the father survived, he most likely would have joined the organisation too. The mentor tells the protégé that his father died as a hero. Eggsy’s memento of his father is a medal; Jay’s is a pocket watch.
Many years later, the now adult protégé participates in a frantic night-time chase through the city. He ends up at the police station, being questioned by weary officers in a dimly lit room.
The mentor mysteriously appears here at the police station to meet him and the protégé doesn’t recognise him at first. The mentor has pulled strings to get him released early from the police station.
After shocking him with a dramatic display of The Truth™, the mentor talks across a booth table to a frozen and stunned protégé. The mentor tells the protégé where to find him if he is interested in learning more about The Truth™. The protégé, totally weirded out, stares at the mentor's back as he leaves through the door.
When the protégé goes to the address he is given, he finds the mentor already there waiting for him. The mentor escorts the protégé to HQ for the first time via a secret lift that takes them deep underground.
The protégé is told that he is late when he arrives for the interview. It is a tough recruitment interview by process of elimination from other elite candidates, who are all dressed more formally. Some of them believe the protégé is inferior to them and under-qualified.
The protégé later pines over his absent mentor. The mentor is living a different life and has lost all memory of his many years of service to the organisation.
When they are finally reunited, the mentor doesn't remember the protégé. The protégé has to get his old mentor’s memory back in order to save the world again.
Oh and pugs. Pugs are important.
Both of the first instalments are vastly superior to the second instalments but MiB3 was freaking awesome, so fingers crossed for K3.
And I have to prepare myself for future instalments of both franchises without Harry & Eggsy / J & K 😭😭😭
Apologies for the rambling wall of text, I really needed to get it out of my system. I must reiterate, that although both franchises share a lot of common ground, their tone, style and main plot are completely different. And I absolutely adore them both.
P.S. imo Kingsman glasses are nicer than MiB’s and MiB’s watches are nicer than Kingsman’s 😜
P.P.S. i do wonder if the recent huge success of Kingsman was what got the ball rolling for a 4th crack at MiB...?
P.P.P.S. why tf did the MiB/21 Jump St. crossover get shelved cos that would’ve been lit af
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wolfstar-in-color · 3 years ago
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July Creator Spotlight: Desicosplay
Hello, lovely people, and welcome to our second creator spotlight!
Each month, we will highlight a different creator in our lovely fandom who features diverse characterizations of Sirius and/or Remus. We will invite you to get to know them better through questions and answers, Fandom Discourse(tm), and a featured prompt created by our guest.
For our second spotlight, we are absolutely honoured to having the presence of @desicosplay, an incredible cosplayer and writer that if you don’t follow, you should do right away. They’ve gifted us with many, many amazing gifsets, a lot of them about Sirius. Below you’ll see a little snippet of the interview and Mastani’s prompt. Under the cut you’ll be able to read the full interview. Don’t forget to share and interact with this post, and if you have anyone you’d like to recommend for a spotlight, shoot us an ask!
“Diversity means celebration. So in fan spaces, that means actively seeking out creators that you might otherwise miss. It means trying out new perspectives, or listening to new perspectives on your favorite characters. It means standing with your peers, being loud in your love and support of them. I’m not saying you have to reblog or comment on everything. Diversity is not just visual, it’s also mental. Diversity needs to be intentional and active, even if that takes place just in your head.”
Mastani’s prompt: Muggle AU! Sirius and Remus at Harry’s sporting event!
Hi! I’m Mastani, she/they/he pronouns, I’m a 1.5/2nd Generation Indian-American, and I cosplay and write fanfiction!
Q: How did you start creating in the fandom? What did you wish to bring into the fandom?
A: Almost five years ago, Laina @ohtheclevernessofme1972 convinced me to join the HPRP community. She and everyone else were so supportive of my desire to bring my culture and background to the Harry Potter characters. Eventually, I also started writing fanfiction again!
Q: What things about s/r as characters or in their relationship inspire you to create around them?
A: I think that they are very complex characters that really demonstrate how external factors affect your life, whether you like it or not. Their relationship, whether platonic, romantic, or anything in-between or outside, is also so fascinating in its potential to evolve. Wolfstar is constantly changing, and all its interpretations are totally feasible to imagine.
Q: What things would you like to highlight about the Wolfstar fandom and your experience in it?
A: My main dips into the fandom are when I cosplay Sirius, and every time, I feel so much love. The fandom is so open to any interpretations of Sirius, and it does wonders to make someone feel accepted.
Q: What type of content do you wish you saw more in the fandom?
A: This is entirely self-indulgent, but Godfather/Uncle!Sirius just make me feel so warm inside. There’s a love inside Sirius that only gets touched upon inside the books. AUs where he gets to interact with Harry as a child or teen outside the pressure of a war are just so calming and warming.
Q: What is your favourite wolfstar fancontent (fic/fanart/gifset/etc) and how does it inspire you?
A: Y’all, I have so many Wolfstar fics saved that are just stunning and several that are comfort fics. I think the biggest takeaway from all of them is the comfort the boys find in each other. All of them are AUs, and I’m inspired to depict my Wolfstar as something kind, gentle, and communicative.
Q: Which of your own identities inform your creative processes? How has that process been for you?
A: All of them! But more specifically, my racial background informs most of my process. My process is… Sporadic, to say the least. However, when I do get struck with an idea, I have to create it almost instantly. One example, Wolfstar-related, is that my Sirius cosplay has long hair, half-up in a bun. I feel like desi!Sirius would celebrate his heritage by growing his hair long, which also is a nice, “screw you,” to societal and familial constraints.
Q: What advice do you have for other content creators with diverse backgrounds in the fandom? What would you say to people that might feel they don’t have the “right” history/experience/characteristics to participate in the creation of content related to Wolfstar?
A: think the best advice for participation I have comes from the iconic Jay @siriussly-serious, Rest in Power. “Go. Get in. Dive in. Fucking head first. Fuck that, cannonball your butt right in there and make a damn splash…” There is no, “right,” history/experience/background. These characters are fictional, but they can reflect our world. Our world is not homogenous. So why should fictional worlds and characters be that way? These stories are ours, and we shape them to be whatever we want them to be. If you want to create, that’s all the prerequisite you need.
Q: How could we build a more diverse fandom?
A: This blog is a great example of how to build a diverse fandom. Celebrating creators with diverse backgrounds and being loudly supportive of them makes us want to stay. Finding communities that celebrate, not just accept, can make a world of difference. So, raise your voice and love on your favorite creators.
Q: What’s your favourite thing to modify in Sirius’s or Remus’s characterizations to bring new perspectives to them?
A: I’m a huge communicator, so improving character communication is something I love to do. I like to create fluff, and this change lets me focus on the gentler parts of Sirius and Remus, or the parts that need some love, e.g. mental health. It also lets me flesh out their senses of humor more, like their dislike of cats (in my headcanons).
Q: What does diversity mean to you? What does that encompass in fanish spaces?
A: Diversity means celebration. So in fan spaces, that means actively seeking out creators that you might otherwise miss. It means trying out new perspectives, or listening to new perspectives on your favorite characters. It means standing with your peers, being loud in your love and support of them. I’m not saying you have to reblog or comment on everything. Diversity is not just visual, it’s also mental. Diversity needs to be intentional and active, even if that takes place just in your head.
Q: What are your ideas about the notions of culture and ethnicity? How do you relate to those notions?
A: I find culture and ethnicity to overlap in many ways, as they both pertain to group characteristics. I’m not an anthropologist, so I don’t know the detailed differences between the two. However, in my quick searches, it feels, to me, that culture is a bit broader and ethnicity is more geographic. So, I’m culturally Indian-American and ethnically Gujarati Indian (Gujarat is the state in India). I find these notions to be helpful when defining and describing my experiences. For example, among desis (and other brown folks), saying I’m generation 1.5/2 tells them that I straddle American/Western and Indian culture. If I tell another Indian that I’m Gujarati, they instantly know the kind of foods I grew up with and the language my parents speak. It’s a streamlined way of explaining my experiences, and as a science brained person, it makes life easier for me.
Q: Is there a page/organization/institution you would recommend for fans to search/read when it comes to learning about diversity?
A: With the tool that is social media, there are so many activists and creators that are willing and able to teach about diversity. On my page, I keep a page titled, “Resources for Justice.” This page has a wide variety of social justice resources on it. Google is great, but you also want to cross-check your sources. However, I feel like the best way to learn is to ask questions. Do so respectfully and ensure the person you’re asking has the energy/time/compensation to answer. Especially if you’ve done some research ahead of time, I find that many folks are willing to have a discussion - but again, check with the person first. Trust is paramount in these conversations.
Q: Is there a project/organization that you want to hype?
A: Oh, I could name so many. However, the ones I want to shout out here are Chrysalis - Gender Identity Matters and Raze Collective. As many of you know, Jay @siriussly-serious passed away recently, and in his name, we’re promoting/donating to these charities. Chrysalis - GIM offers online and in-person mental health support for trans and nonbinary people in his area and Raze Collective supports LGBTQIA+ performers. Ami @ami-acts and a few others (I apologize for not remembering exactly who - I’ll message the mods if I remember/please add on if you know) organized this. Links are below.
Donate to Chrysalis - GIM here.
Donate to Raze Collective here.
Q: Leave us with a quote or work of art that always inspires you
A: Is it too cheesy to say all of our fandom? To be totally honest, that’s who/what inspires me most of all. It’s a work of art, all the people in it make our fandom a work of art!
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holydepths-blog · 6 years ago
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✩ watergate :3
this took too fucking long
Disagreements:
Who is more likely to raise their voice? i feel like emma cos she’s more angry dramatic and he’s more emo dramatic but i was also gonna say he probably should to accomodate for his heightWho threatens to leave but never actually does? neither of them, they’ve both left one another repeatedly. Who actually keeps their word and leaves? both of them, see above. Who trashes the house? i don’t think either of them … i can’t see him ever doing it but if he did she would kick his ass things need to be NEAT Do either of them get physical? basement gate tease ! but no … it’s soft ….  that’s been erased from my memory … they’re emo not violent  How often do they argue/disagree? all the time but about #dumb shit nowadays … used to be more serious but now? you like chocolate ice cream better? … idiot  Who is the first to apologise? if they had a penny for every time mickey has apologised to her both of them could quit their low salary jobs and move to france 
Sex:
Who is on top? bold of u to assume they aren’t both switches Who is on the bottom? ^Who has the strangest desires? Any kinks? mind ur fucking business … snuggling is a kink Who’s dominant in bed? i don’t think dominant has ever been in either of their vocabulary where’s the john mulaney gif abt soup in the lap … regaurdless … probably he has to be she’s babyIs head ever in the equation? she suck the dick for free and mickey is a good boy, he knows how to go down on a womf If so, who is better at performing it? i don’t know how sex works is it easier to eat thrussy or suck a dick … they both try the only thing that matters is that once he said she was better at sex than [ redacted ] Ever had sex in public? private public … like not dressing room public but like, romantic lookout in a car public … hope no coppers come 2 shine their flashlight Who moans the most? idk if this is my sexism or my lesbian but women should, legally, be required to moan more than menWho leaves the most marks? he better swallow his masculinity and get used to concealer but i feel like that wld not be an issue for him, king ! he can’t borrow hers though it won’t match Who screams the loudest? WHO YELLSWho is the more experienced of the two? mickey. fucking duh. Do they ‘fuck’ or ‘make love’? they make love :3Rough or soft? soft … unlike his penis How long do they usually last? haha 8 seconds joe goldberg tease? idk how long sex even lasts in general …. solidly average is my guess Is protection used? he better wrap it before he taps it my girl cannot afford plan b . so yesDoes it ever get boring? not …. boring but ….. consistent. when emma gets too drunk she asks odette for sex advice bc she doesn’t want to bore ickey Where is the strangest place they’d have sex? nowhere is strange if ur brave enough.
Family:
Do your muses plan on having children/or have children? …. yes ….If so, how many children do your muses want/have? she wants 27 children actually but literally anything from 1-30 will suffice …. they need a lot of help on his inevitable farm Who is the favorite parent? mickey is the fun parent so u already know who it is Who is the authoritative parent? REMEMBER the clip i sent u from the marky mark movie … she’s always the bad guy until he gets #fedup and he has to remind her that she’s not doing it this time AJSDKF Who is more likely to allow the children to have a day off school? Who lets the children indulge in sweets and junk food when the other isn’t around? honeslty both of them unless emma hoards all the candy … selfish  Who turns up to extra curricular activities to support their children? both of them they make fucking SIGNS …. its a little league game u dont need to paint the football stripes on ur faceWho goes to parent teacher interviews? they both go but mickey is better at them because emma always goes into teacher mode and tries to talk about Who changes the diapers? mickey does he’s a NURSE he is not grossed out , she is . baby poop is rank Who gets up in the middle of the night to feed the baby? where tf is that gifset from prison break when u need it … she does but only because she hates diapers and it’s only fair to pop a tiddie out every night for ur kid in exchangeWho spends the most time with the children? ummmm FAMILY FUN NIGHT x Who packs their lunch boxes?Who gives their children ‘the talk’? mickey he is obligated as a medical professional she don’t teach sex ed …. Who cleans up after the kids? emma but only because she’s a neat freak Who worries the most? both of them try to pretend they’re VERY cool and nonchalant and this is actually very easy until one of them cracks (probably her) and they both worry together constantly . solidarity babey ! ….. moreso her tho u cannot change my mind Who are the children more likely to learn their first swear word from? auntie odette change my mind we said FUCK watergate lives , emdette rise 
Affection:
Who likes to cuddle? both of them …. constntly …. disgusting Who is the little spoon? [ jake peralta vc ] everyone likes to be the little spoon, it makes them feel safe ! LOOK HERE buddy …. he is and i dont take questions , even when he was 10 ft Who gets naughty in the most inappropriate of places? can he fucking keep his hands AWF …. thats coming from me not emma she appreciates it Who struggles to keep their hands to themself? both of them …. its CONSTANT … hand on the shoulder , touching someone’s back as u walk past …. SOFT ! n then the one gif  u sent from superstore where amy slaps jonah’s ass that’s emma How long can they cuddle until one becomes uncomfortable?  they actually fall asleep cuddling and wake up complaining abt falling asleep in a uncomfortable position… shut up abt ur back pain ur not 80 Who gives the most kisses? KISS kisses …. he. but know … she’s always kissing him on the cheek What is their favourite non-sexual activity? this is gonna sound g*y as hell but stay with me here ………. just being in the same place , even when they’re doing diff stuff . TOGETHERNESS …. vomit time Where is their favourite place to cuddle? the couch , i retract my statement about them not being 80 they actually fall asleep watching tv Who is more likely to playfully grope the other? casually ? she … to actually initiate eye emoji ? he How often do they get time to themselves? all the time , they know 2 other people 
Sleeping:
Who snores? he does im hcing this for ur own character If both do, who snores the loudest? she doesn’t SNORE she’s a lady Do they share a bed or sleep separately? they’ve been in 200 different stages of relationship ……. OTHER than depending on that , she sleeps better w him there :3If they sleep together, do they cozy up together or lay far apart? they start far apart cos she’s a blanket hog but she always ends up next 2 him Who talks in their sleep? she mumbles sometimes ….. its nothing coherent What do they wear to bed? she owns 47 different stupid size xxxxxxxl shirts that were 2 bucks  from walmart and wears only that . i bet mickey owns a bathrobe, bourgeois pig … Are either of your muses insomniacs? idk she reads a chapter of whatever dumb shit she’s reading and has tea or wine and conks out ….. idk his business Can sleeping pills be found by the bedside? idk abt taking them and ik its not the point but shes anal retentive abt keeping medicine in the medicine cabinet so THERE BETTER NOT BE Do they wrap their limbs around each other or just lay side by side? AS I SAID … they start out on opposite sides of the beg and end up more tangled than tangled (20whatever) Who wakes up with bed hair? his hair is floofy ,,,, Who wakes up first? i feel like that depends on his shifts …. she wakes up at the same damn time every week day …. weekends though she sleeps in for 10 yrs so him Who prepares breakfast in bed for the other? emma tries and he has to leave bed anyway because the fire alarm goes off  What is their favourite sleeping position? she prefers it when she has all the blankets Who hogs the sheets? she does Do they set an alarm each night? they have JOBS does she look like pippa to u Can a television be found in their bedroom? yes so she can cry over dumb rom coms over somewhere other than the couch …… he’s invested in them , change my mind Who has nightmares? i already know ur about to say he does so im calling the cops on u end of story Who has ridiculous dreams? all of emma’s dreams are indistinguishable from bad acid trips Who sprawls out and takes up most of the bed? she sleeps in the fetal position he seems like a sprawler …..Who makes the bed? emma …. its gotta be CLEAN and if he ever says “why make it we’re just gonna sleep there again” its on SIGHT What time is bed time? whenever she passes out , always before midnight , considering they’re 72Any routines/rituals before bed? i bet they brush their teeth at the same time to see who can do it faster like they’re five year olds …. or that gifset from new girl where he’s like “ u read my walking dead fanfic ? ”Who’s the grumpiest when they wake up? emma takes three cups of coffee to be able to be her CHIPPER self …. 
Work:
Who is the busiest? she has like a 6 hour work day so he for sure Who rakes in the highest income? i just googled nurses versus preschool teachers and he makes twice what she does …. laughs nervously …. glad she’s going back 2 school but elementary teachers STILL make less …. mr talbot got COIN ! Are any of your muses unemployed? no , freeloading is ILLEGAL Who takes the most sick days? i feel like the two worst jobs to go into sick are a literal hospital with immunocompromised people and a preschool with toddlers who dont wash their hands …. equal maybe Who is more likely to turn up late to work? despite her original beef with odette in the apocalypse verse emma is NEVER late to work Who sucks up to their boss? she cooks dinner , a nice LASAGNA for whoever to heat up and mickey has to break it to her that making whoever her superior is eat what tastes like glue will in fact , damage their relationship What are their jobs? hes a nursey  boy …. shes a teacher Who stresses the most? about life in general? her. about work? probably him. he’s dealing with LIVES she’s got the alphabet Do your muses enjoy or despise their careers/occupations? they better they aren’t getting paid enough to hate it Are your muses financially stable? they’re not rich but they’re not dying and that’s what matters 
Home:
Who does the washing? emma because it relaxes her Who takes out the trash? he better , she does not like to  LOOK at things once they are thrown out … its smelly Who does the ironing? neither of them have ironed anything in their lives Who does the cooking? HE HAS TO IDC if he isn’t fuckign gordon ramsay she’ll kill them Who is more likely to burn the house down just trying? emma Who is messier? if he leaves a single sock on the floor he is automatically messier than her Who leaves the toilet roll empty? that’s satanic neither of them Who leaves their dirty clothes on the floor? he does …. its just not REALISTIC that she does Who forgets to flush the toilet? that’s gross ……hopefully neither ….. DISGOSTEING.mp4Who is the prankster around the house? anything STUPID is hers and hers alone but i feel like he’d do something relatively innocent and it would go HORRIBLY wrong like , hey emma come get y’all juice ….Who loses the car keys when it comes time to go somewhere? despite being organized in every other aspect of her life emma has never kept track of keys in her life its a disease Who mows the lawn? he does , he shld do it shirtless so she can objectify him Who answers the telephone? mickey, she truly stares at it hoping it’ll go away Who does the vacuuming? emmaWho does the groceries? she would make HORRIBLE decisions ,,, he shld make the list and she shld get it Who takes the longest to shower? no sexism but she’s a girl Who spends the most time in the bathroom? see above 
Miscellaneous:
Is money a problem? yES like … they can afford groceries , make rent , but for literally every american except jeff bezos money is a problem in some area . this isn’t a hc just a capitalist hellscape How many cars do they own? two …. neither of them are very nice cars Do they own their home or do they rent? rent unless/until he gets the farm of his dreams Do they live near the coast or deep in the countryside? countryside thats where FARMS are … but like rn , coast cos there’s the ocean in town Do they live in the city or in the country? see above bbgDo they enjoy their surroundings? the goats of the future and the noisy neighbors of the current and past eras both leave something to be desired , but in general yes What’s their song? not to go all modern au but remember when stereo hearts was on their 2011 mixtape AJSKDF …. issa bop and its arguably the most cutesy singable on the playlist What do they do when they’re away from each other? bitch idk ? exist as human beings ?Where did they first meet? idk she probably met him for coffee or sum before moving in together to make sure he wasn’t a serial killer How did they first meet? they were roommates … oh my god they were roommates …. she prolly put an ad in the paper very lucky she did not get murdered x Who spends the most money when out shopping? i feel like neither of them are big spenders but her sticker and colored pen budget is larger than it should be Who’s more likely to flash their assets? i thought this was talking about tits for a second but im assuming mone ? they keep it humble Who finds it amusing when the other trips over? they both do , bullying one another is a bonding experience Any mental issues? more than you know my guy Who’s terrified of bugs? if she sees a SPIDER she floors it , but she releases most other bugs …. he better kill anything w 8 legs tho Who kills the spiders around the house? mickey , as described above wow im psychic Their favourite place? they can make any place work together … gay but true , just like me Who pays the bills? she has a special binder just for taxes Do they have any fears for their future? all the fears actually Who’s more likely to surprise the other with a fancy dinner? she cannot cook but she has 10/10 ordered takeout , put it on plates and been like :the happy version of the pensive emoji yk the one: i cooked it while the reciept is still on the counter Who uses up all of the hot water? thats very selfish she wld never but she also showers first bc she doesn’t trust him not to ….. Who’s the tallest? they , in american , are the SAME HEIGHT ,,, fuck centimeters Who’s more likely to just randomly hop into the shower with the other?Who wanders around in their underwear? clothes are oppressive let them both do it coward Who sings the loudest when singing along to the radio? it probably turns into a competition until they’re both singing at the top of their lungs …. omg watergate you’re gonna burst a vocal cord oh my god they can’t hear us they have airpods in What do they tease each other about? literally everything …. one of them BREAHTES wrong and the other is like “ ah didnt realise the asthma express was in town “ Who is more likely to cringe at the other’s fashion sense at times? mickey literally dresses like the fresh prince so u already answered that for me Do they have mutual friends? can the real jack detler please stand up Who crushed first? she ……. did not immediately fall in love with him let me tell u , it took her some solid MONTHS to realise she was in deep for his bitch ass Any alcohol or substance related problems? i wld hope not , #stubie twWho is more likely to stumble home, drunk, at 3am? them , together , for getting kicked out of the bar for singing Who swears the most? neither ? 
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