#i know we romanticize the old days and the “when will ___ return from war” memes

[ad-astra-per-aspera-1389]

you know, we're taught about the horrors of war in school, but sometimes those lessons aren't when it sinks in. sometimes it's watching your friend sitting on the floor of your dorm remember he legally has to sign up for the draft. and he gives up and calls his mom instead, but then it hits you that if the government snaps and pushes the metaphorical big red button, it's your friend that's getting sent out there. your friend that doesn't like to be alone in social situations. your friend with the space themed bedspread and mickey mouse jacket and stuffed tiger and fluffy fold-up chair. and it hits you that these people that get sent out there if the government changes their mind one day aren't names without faces or vice versa. they're the kids you went to elementary school with. they're not just the boys that made fun of you; they're the kids that sat with you when no one else would; the kid that made you laugh because he wanted to. my english teacher senior year told us about this, when the military branches set up tables in the cafeteria the same month we read The Things They Carried. but in high school we were only focused on what came next. the military was just one of those options, and we were barely eighteen, and no one really talked about the draft. but now that we're adults, I'm sticking a poster to my dorm wall while my best friend drops his name into the world's deadliest raffle.

[saphire-dance]

Could I request Rodimus/Megatron for the top meme?

Good choice. I haven’t really written them before, but they are a pair I like how a read more because this will be long

1. Who texts more often? Rodimus. Megatron prefers to call or talk face to face, but Rodimus sends little texts all day long. Megatron still isn’t sure what most of the emojis he uses mean

2. Who is better with kids? This depends entirely on what you mean by better. Rodimus is the fun Uncle he plays with the kids like he’s one of them. Children will be happy and perhaps slightly bruised when returned to their parents.Megatron is the responsible one. If he’s watching the children they will be returned clean, bruise free, and with some fun new fact they just learned because Megatron took them to the library. 

3. Who tops/bottoms? When they first got together Megatron topped. Rodimus decided in his own head without asking that that was what he would want and just how things would be. Megatron didn’t realize it was Rodimus trying to compromise and not an ingrained preference for far too long. they ended up having quite a fight, and Rung ended up refereeing. Now well Megs is still on top more often than not, but the mix it up a lot more and learned to communicate their wants more.

4. How do they eat ice cream? What’s their favorite flavors? Megatron gets the equivalent of vanilla. Considered plain but really just a subtle rich flavor. He gets a small cup and eats it with a spoon. Rodimus gets something like one of those monster extreme shakes, you know the kind with doughnuts or a slice of cheesecake on top and mountains of whip cream and sprinkles. Megatron’s teeth hurt just looking at it.

5. Do they go on dates? What are they like? Rodimus likes activity dates. He likes to go out and do something exciting together. Megatron prefers more quiet dates, candle lit dinners, getting to know each other better. They learned to compromise so they might do something like paintball and then off somewhere quiet for a drink.

6. Do they stargaze? Expand. They try. Megatron actually enjoys stargazing. The universe is beautiful and poetic. Rodimus gets bored by it and eventually gets Megatron to make out with him instead of watching the stars.

7. Who’s the laziest? Rodimus. This isn’t a bad thing though he really fits into the “Give a lazy man a hard job and he’ll find the easiest way to do it” mold.

8. Who complains more? Rodimus can be a bit whiny at times. It too Megatron a while to figure out that Rodimus didn’t want Megatron to fix whatever he was complaining about, he just wanted someone to listen to him.

9. Who wakes up earlier? Megatron. Rodimus will “five more minutes” for an hour.

10. What do they smell when they smell amortentia? For Megatron, the smell is expensive wax(from earth), smoke, and that obnoxious smelly car air freshener that Rodimus got on earth. Rodimus smells a kind of wax that was cheap on Cybertron before the war, but almost impossible to find now, and whatever the electronic equivalent to old book smell is.

11. Who sets the other’s ringtone to something loud and obnoxious behind their back? Megatron's phone is always the latest most obnoxious pop song, he cannot figure out how to change it.

12. Who uses chopsticks/Can either of them use chopsticks? neither of them can use chopsticks. Drift had at different times tried to teach them both. It was terrible. Drift refuses to speak about it.

13. When they can’t sleep what do they do? Megatron writes and stargazes. Rodimus will wake someone up and get them to distract him. It isn’t always Megatron he wakes up, so sometimes Megs is woken up by a call from one of Rodimus’ friends asking them to come get him because he finally passed out.

14. Who’s clumsier? They are both fairly graceful, but Megatron has a slight disadvantage due to being so huge

15. Who would hold the umbrella in the rain? Both of them prefer to just stand in the rain. Megatron spent so much time underground that the sky is something he’s romanticized. Rodimus just likes how it feels on his plating. he is always running hot, and the chill of the rain is nice.

16. What do they argue about most? Rodimus doing risky dumb stuff, mostly. 

17. Which one is a secret snuggler? Megatron. Rodimus is a not secret at all snuggler as any one of his friends would tell you. Most people just assume Megatron just puts up with the snuggling out of a fond sort of tolerance, but really he loves it.

18. Which one offers their jacket to the other when they complain they feel cold? It’s more Rodimus offering to set something on fire, not that Megatron complained about the cold, he’s stoic like that, but Rodimus could tell he was miserable.

19. Who remembers what the other one always orders at a restaurant?Rodimus is always trying new things, so Megatron only has a general idea of what he likes. Megatron’s tastes are fairly simple so Rodimus remembers, and teases and gets Megatron to take a bite of whatever new dish Rodimus ordered this time

20. Who reaches for the other one’s hand while driving? At first, I was like “They’re both cars,” but then they fly spaceships so... Rodimus is the more touchy feely one, at least in public, and the bridge of a spaceship is pretty public.

21. Who gets the window seat? Rodimus, he called dibs, permanent dibs.

22. Who leaves little notes in the other’s one lunch? (Bonus: what does it say?) Listen if you don’t think Megs doesn’t write the most schmoopy love poems for Rodimus to find you have no idea who they are. Rodimus has them all saved and millennia from now they will be held up as some of the most romantic poems ever written. Yes, even the one about how cute Rodimus’ butt is.

23. Who wakes up first? Megatron is an early riser and a light sleeper. He always has been. Rodimus is a night owl and sleeps like a rock.

24. Who falls asleep while watching a movie? Rodimus. He says it is because Megatron has boring taste in movies but really because he’s always in motion his systems take him being still as a sign it’s nap time. All of his friends have cute pictures of him asleep in the middle of movie night.

25. Who’s prone to wearing socks indoors (or to sleep)? The socks were a gag gift, but Megatron wears them anyway, telling Rodimus he now has no right to complain about Megatron having cold feet

26. Who has bigger cravings? Rodimus. he’s horrible about having a balanced diet so sometimes his systems will just scream we need magnesium now, right now, and he finds himself at Swerve’s eating some weird new concoction. 

27. Who reminds the other to put on sunscreen before going to the beach (or pool)? Megatron is the responsible one. It isn’t sunscreen though as much as it is some sort of temporary spray sealant to keep sand out of their systems. 

28. Who carries all the important documents while traveling? I mean it’s Ultra Magnus’ job, but if he’s not along for the ride it’s Megatron. 

29. Who sneaks in cookies in the shopping cart? Rodimus. Megatron has a list. and cookies are not on that list, but he lets Rodimus get away with it.

30. Who cooks at 2 in the morning? Rodimus would, but he’s banned from cooking. So he wakes up Swerve who really just go off shift, let the poor bot sleep.

31. Who gets extremely competitive playing Mario Kart? Surprisingly Megatron. He’s not a race frame, he’d never win a speed competition in real life, but in a game well

32. Who takes longer getting ready? Rodimus, I mean have you seen his finish? and Primus forbid his paint job needs a touch-up.

33. Who likes doing the dishes? Megatron. He’s used to letting his mind wander and work while doing repetitive tasks. So he does chores whenever he needs to think.

34. Who points at a dog when they see it? Like you didn’t read this and picture Rodimus shouting “PUPPY!!!!”

35. Who’s prone to road rage? Rodimus. Megatron has been learning to manage his temper, but Rodimus can have trouble keeping himself in check at times.