#i know too many ppl from hs that now have that in their profile on something and like

[sonic06apologist]

This one really making me loose it

[shhhlikeme]

Nin’s Matchup!

(SFW + NSFW)

Matchup Profile: Sfw+nsfw matchup pretty pls! (1/5) Name: Nin>Female>5’4>Film & sfx/theatrical makeup freelancer>V athletic in MS-HS: ballet, was in volley ball, soccer &Basketball teams>Miss my prime days>Scared to start workout again b/c I’ll get lightheaded>If sum1 helps push me through initial fear, I’ll keep growing from there> Likes chilling in ballet stretch poses>paints, photographs&draws as hobby>draws a pic a day (mostly portraits)>writing a comic atm >Always plan contingencies.🦄

(2/5) >embarrassed of my loud laugh(it’s like Kuroo’s)>introvert>not afraid to lead a team tho> V shy & quiet most times>8/10 times, feels awk in public,like idk what i’m saying, but others told me I seem social>Once I’m comfy w/ u, i joke a lot(occasional mum jokes 2 annoy+Sassy dirty ones w/ S/O)>hides behind ppl who likes 2 talk, but not when they’re 2 loud>laughs @ mistakes/when embarrassed>Will stop mistreatment, even if I get in trouble>values communication&genuine discussions🦄

(3/5) Sings when home alone>competes @ Street Fighter tournaments, trains everyday 4 it>Sings “Hit Me W/ Your Best Shot” when fighting bosses in game&swears melodically when i lose>eats chips w/ chopsticks >make hats out of my cat fur when bored>Workahokic night🦉>likes 2 teach >full convos w/ my 🐱>LIVES in oversized hoodies & flip flops, regardless of weather>no pants@home!>Feels incompetent sometimes, but keep practicing 2 improve>Analytical fast learner>idk why ppl think i look innocent🦄

(4/5)>Forgets 2 speak eng when tired (Thai 1st lang.)>Headrubs 4 s/o every night b4 bed>will miss u but is bad@texting>yelps like puppy when I’m surprised>Unconventionally resourceful: Wire hangers’s fixes everything! >stress bakes & will gets pouty if it didn’t turn out well.>overwhelmed to water my 50+ 🌱 >Doodles on smt (always have a pen on me)when i feel socially anxious> 2 dance sober @ clubs> Wants a stable relationship where we work tgt like a team to bring out the best in one another🦄

(5/5) I like a s/o who is lovable, kind, genuine, mature, independent and caring, but can also joke & be silly with like best friends. NSFW: open 2 try new things>❤️restraints, blindfolds & sensual tickle sex (as lee+ler) but had always been too shy to share it with any1>occasionally self conscious of food baby+stretchmarks>🥰edging/teasing >has a thing 4 height differences (likes to feel smol lol!) & primal play.>Is a switch. I’m so sorry if it’s too much info! Thank you for doing this!🦄

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A/N: HI LOVE @crushzone !!!! I SMILE WHEN I SEE YOU IN MY NOTIFS GIRL I WORKED HARD ON YOURS OF COURSE💖 But no matter whaaaat I’m going to be very authentic in my matchups bc they’re based on compatibility and therefore, without further ado, lemme introduce you to your NEW BAE:

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KŌTARŌ BOKUTO 🦉

SFW:

so you’re a theatrical makeup artist.

Aight.

Mind if I offer you a word of advice? :

RUN

“DUDE THAT’S AMAZING IT LOOKS SO SICK!”

Startled by someone’s loud booming voice, you smudged the eyeliner you were applying to your actor’s face all over their forehead. Whipping around to see who had disrupted your work you were faced with a beautiful black and grey haired owl. A rather tall... and very attractive ‘beautiful black and grey haired owl.’

He started walking around the dressing room like he owned the place, touching everything.

“Excuse me, you don’t have a badge. You can’t be backstage—!”

“Pretty obvious don’t you think, Miss ________?”

You didn’t take his bait, refusing to give this stranger your name. Bokuto shrugged.

“Well since I don’t know your name I shall label thee—Miss HOT GIRL of the 9 Kingdoms!” He nudged the knight actor who was sitting in your makeup chair with his elbow. “Did I sound 15th century ish or what??” The owl turned to you expecting to be praised. “I had to meet the person who made the medieval vampire look so scary in the last act. But that guy with the lights didn’t tell me anything about you being so hot.”

You were speechless because he was hot too

But he shouldn’t be back here so you tried to shoo him out anyway

He allowed you to try to shove him out but he was way bigger than you so nice try sis

When he yawned while you panted because you weren’t able to budge him an inch....

Bokuto wagered that he would leave if you agreed to make him look like the Hulk with your makeup skills for a Halloween party he had to go to

You didn’t really want to because you were a professional and you had no idea who this owl was but because you had 15 minutes until the second act and you needed peace and quiet if you were going to finish your job!!! ....

( This boy was not peace NOR quiet )

You agreed.... but because you answered so fast Bokuto kicked it up one notch

Prince of pushing his luck (king is reserved for Shōyo‘s extra ass)

He pretended to allow you to push him out of the makeup room a few steps but before you closed the door he stuck his foot between the door so it couldn’t close.

Smiling, he peered back in, looking down at you:

“AND...... you have to agree to go on a date with me. Tomorrow night?”

“Ugh FINE!”

Bo removed his foot and let himself out with a bounce in his step.

SERIOUSLY WHO LET THIS MAN BACKSTAGE......

Needless to say, after a few dates, mans won you over like he wins EVERYONE over

It surprised you how comfortable you became with him but he just has that affect on people

***

In terms of your athletic relationship Bokuto does many things:

He pushes you to go to the gym with him for one

He signs the two of you up for impromptu Beginner 30-day challenges that you both must stick to

So every morning for 30-days straight he jumps on you in bed to wake you up:

“NIN BABY TIME TO HIT THE GYM. BABY NIN TIME TO GET IN SOME SEXY GYM SHORTS. MON BÉBÉ NIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNN—“

“Kōtarō, please shut up.”

he doesn’t

He drags you there and eventually you get back into the swing of things.. killing it in the weight room with your supportive man cheering on your every rep!

You don’t even need him to wake you up during the second challenge!

Your volleyball player boyfriend also signs you up (without permission) for the neighborhood soccer team that Akaashi’s girlfriend is already on

You hated it at first because it was uncomfortable going back after not playing for so long but you soon realized that all the girls there were ex-athletes too and not stars

You formed amazing new girl friendships (especially with Akaashi’s gf) and double dates with them were one of your favourite nights of the week!

You owed that happiness in your life all to your Owl 🦉🥰

He and Akaashi came to every soccer game y’all had and you and the three of you went to all of Bokuto’s games, obviously

Btw you all were FITTTTTT OML

***

In addition...

You already know that your man finds your artistic talents insanely fascinating

On your first anniversary together Bokuto gifted you with a new paint set and new French stand:

Because he admires you Bokuto also tries to draw and paint seriously just like you

You stand over his shoulder and give him corrections and baby owl learns so fast it’s amazing

You two make ‘paint night’ a thing when you move in together and it’s always the most fun event!!!!

Bokuto CONSTANTLY and I mean CONSTANTLY asks for you to add him to the comic you’re writing but you say no because he wouldn’t fit in

He sulks but one day you surprise him by showing him that you drew a cute soaring black and gray owl in the background of almost every outdoor scene in your comic,

you pointed out that it was him

BOKUTOOOO WAS SOOOOO HAPPY

HE WAS SHOUTING FROM THE ROOFTOPS

He called Akaashi right away and almost cried tears of joy hahahahaha

***

Your contingent based lifestyle has saved your reckless boyfriend’s life and career many-a-times

It’s one of the things he loves most about you.

Also, it is important to mention that he is in LOVE with your laugh

Bby owl does anything to hear it and showers your face with kisses when you laugh to draw it out

He loves you so freaking much

When you don’t make sense and speak gibberish in public because your awkward side randomly comes out......your boyfriend loves to make fun of you:

“Huh? Nin, that wasn’t Japanese, that wasn’t Thai and that definitely wasn’t English. What planet is my adorable baby girl from, again? And how do I return her in exchange for a floating space car instead?!”

suh cute

All of Bokuto’s teammates really like you because you work in conjunction with Akaashi which means you actually have the magic ability to get Bokuto out of emo mode even faster than his best friend 🤯🤯🤯

When he’s at an away game in emo mode his teammates will literally FaceTime you and point their phone in his general direction

“Hey, Kōtarō!!!! Look, Nin’s on the phoneeee!”

Bby owl turns around slowly when he was sulking in the corner and when he sees you on the screen he’s running and jumping on whoever is holding your phone.”

“Kōtarō baby. You’re going to stop this emo mode right now. If not I won’t let you paint me nude like we discussed.”

mans was like: 😨😨😨😨🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗

YEP the next second you see him hitting his best practice spikes and his teammate thanks you profusely

You do this several times until Kōtarō just knows to not go into emo mode anymore because you won’t be happy

A year into his professional volleyball career The Black Jackal’s coach sent a surprise fruit bouquet to your work one time:

With a note that read:

To Nin,

Thanks.

Thanks a lot.

Love,

The Team

***

I know you don’t really like people who are considered “too loud” and Bokuto is like...... “MEGA LOUD 🎙 “ but you and Akaashi work together to quiet your boy down as he gets older

He’s perfect

And you love him

***

OKAY THIS IS THE FUNNIEST day THING:

You know how you like standing up for people (even strangers) and stuff?

Well one day, you and Bokuto get caught on a show called WHAT WOULD YOU DO?

Where the two of you cussed out this cat-abusing actor on the show in a convincing scenario!

It was PRICELESS

Bokuto literally tells everyone that y’all are movie stars because of it 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

***

More in the relationship:

Bo is always singing with you 💞 when y’all make breakfast it becomes a national sport to sing at the top of your lungs!!

And when he sees you eat chips with chopsticks he’s pulling a Hinata “🤩🤩🤩” face .

He begs you to teach him how

So you try

......and try

..................and try

He can’t do it bruv 😞

You see bby Owl’s emo mode return for the first time in like a year when the chip shatters between his sticks again

This time, you have to enlist Akaashi as the FaceTime saviour and Keiji just tells him:

“Bokuto. You should prefer eating chips with your hands anyway. It gets to your mouth faster.”

cue Bo’s 🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩 face

........And all is well again

There’s more:

So you’re a workaholic?

Bokuto is fine with that. He just makes you promise that he gets to take you out on your lunch breaks a few times a week or whenever he can

He’s so sweet and your coworkers are BIG jealous of your relationship

Your man BEGSSSSS you to teach him Thai but you find it too hard so when he’s travelling on a long flight he spends the time learning the language on YouTube (and actually get decent at it) so that he can understand you when you’re sleepy😴🥺💕

When Bokuto surprises you by wishing you goodnight in Thai before he falls asleep (while you’re giving him head rubs), your heart explodes BECAUSE why is he the cutest thing in the world ?!?!?!

RELATIONSHIP COMMUNICATION:

You don’t text/you’re bad at texting? That’s fine, mainly because bby owl is so busy with volleyball anyway, but if you don’t text him back when he is feeling needy the boy will call you 20 times in a row

When you finally pick up, your heart is beating like thinking it’s an emergency

But he will answer saying:

“Oh, no emergency. I just want booty pics. Please, Nin babyyyyy?”

you’re like: 😑

ANOTHER CUTE THING YOUR MAN DOES?????

AIGHT:

It’s cringey but.......

When you’re at work all day doing makeup and he’s home he will send you pics throughout the day of him taking care of your plants like they are y’alls newborn children:

His text:

Baby look!!! Ollie the Orchid grew to 7 inches today!!! Yesterday he was 6.8 inches!!!!! They grow up so fast 😭😭😭”

Your reply:

Not quite as long as your dick, Bo

His reply:

I hate when you get me horny when I’m trying to take care of the kiiiids 😭😭😭😭

Dkm

Of all the factors you look for in a man, Bokuto has all of them

Like I said he becomes much more mature when you and Akaashi are his closest compadres

What people don’t know is that Kōtarō is actually very mature he is just a hardcore optomist (besides emo mode lmao) so people often mistake him as immature or dumb

But He’s far from it and you see that everyday

It’s why you fell for him

When dealing with serious issues that life has to handle, you see a different side of Bokuto, a real side, the side he shows in every tough volleyball game when he makes you metaphorically step behind him so he can deal with any problem that comes your way

He would literally withstand all your battles if that meant you’d remain happy forever

We stan a relationship like yours💞

NSFW:

okay so you know how you chill in ballet 🩰 stretches sometimes?

THAT DRIVES KŌTARŌ WILD.

It turns him on so much and he is constantly testing how flexible you are in the bedroom

When you keep meeting his expectations he is POUNDING you cause he is so turned on

He fucking loves it

It also turns him on when you’ll be acting shy and stuff but then randomly you’ll lead your neighbourhood soccer team like a BAD BITCH

When he sees that he’s already asking Akaashi how long until the game ends because he’s horny:

Akaashi deadpans. “Too much information. And the game just started 3 minutes ago. Get a water and calm yourself.”

Bo is sad but it makes for one hell of a I’m-proud-of-you sexscape when you get home from your game!!

Your dirty jokes also turn Bokuto on.

A lot.

A lot a lot:

“Bo.....I was joking.”

“I know but if I hear the word ‘dick’ coming out of your mouth I automatically think of you blowing me so now I want us to go home.” He whines.

You sigh. He’s lucky he’s so fucking hot.

When you’re playing street fighter every night this boy will not leave you alone until you cockwarm him

“Nin can you pleaseeeeee warm my cock while you train? I miss you.”

Your concentration turns him on so he has to ask nicely 😊

You love his dick so of course you oblige

Bby owl is so happy just sitting there being in your company and in your warmth but sometimes or every time he ends up thrusting into you

Sometimes while he’s giving you deep slow thrusts he orders you to keep playing or he won’t get you off

Damn 🤤

Let’s not forget also that you drive your man wild by walking around the house in hoodies all the time and nothing else

Every day, another hoodie will be found in various RANDOM places in the house because Bo flings it off you before he makes love to you wherever, and they go missing

Finally, when you get all sad and pouty because one of your baker trials goes to shit (ruined chocolate brownies this time, boo 💔), your boyfriend is taking your hand gently in an instant, leading you to the bedroom:

“Don’t be sad my beautiful girl, you know how much I hate seeing you sad. It makes me sad.! Here, come in the room and sit on my face—I promise I’ll make you feel better.”

WELL DAMN—😳💦

Maybe you should screw up brownie recipes more often.

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A/N: do you know the show what would you do??? Watch it on YouTube if you haven’t haha I couldn’t stop thinking about you and Bokuto being on it after reading your matchup profile!!!! I hope you liked it bb! Give me all your reactions, I want all the smoke 💞💞💞

[thebiggest3vil]

STORY TIME! #2: I Got Cheated On And Embarassed In Front Of My Whole School😂😢😂 (*Funny!/ Fucked Up!)

So for this story time I'm gonna tell you about how I got cheated on . It's funny but fucked up at the same time so if you like reading then this is the post for you! So back, relax and read how I got PLAYED 😂.

So the first day of HS starts up and ya know things are different. Ya boy is a Sophmore and after a very weird freshman year of HS I started to find my way. I had more friends , I hit a growth spurt after being 4"11 and under my whole childhood life, I had a summer job so when I came back I was drippin in that Armani Exchange (Remember that store!? Damn) So when I came back my dress game went from like a 3 to a 12 and I don't care if that don't make sense it's my story lmao.

(Ok So where was I....OH Ok sophomore year)

So the day goes by and it's time for Gym. Now everyone knows that the first day of gym ain't really gym it's just niggas sitting on the bleachers and for 30 minutes and MAYBE they bring the basketballs out for the last 15. So I goto the bleachers and I see my mans at the top and I'm like "Yeoooo !!" And he went "Ayo boul!!" And that's how we signalled each other at the time lmao. So we sitting waiting for class to start and a bunch of kids walk in (I'm not paying them no mind) and as they got closer to the top all I hear is my name following "YOOO CUZ IT'S BEEN A GRIP!" I look over and it's my bro from my track team . At this point I'm like hype I got my homie in by gym class followed by my other homie...nigga gym was so tough. So as I dap him up these 2 girls walk behind him. One was kinda cute, Brown skin ass was glorious. The other was a lightskin girl, kinda tall was BAD (at the time) omg and I had my best shirt on nd shit I was fly but I'm not really worried cause all my niggas are in gym with me and when has that....ever happened when ALL your niggas had the same class besides lunch. So we sitting and my bro from track called me over and we started catching up. Out of nowhere the lightskin girl grabs my shoulder and asked what my name was (mind you was staring deep into my eyes like nigga my soul, I was beside myself) I told her my name and I went throughout my day.

So like a cool 2 weeks passed and ppl telling me "yoooo Brittney likes you" (Ima call her Brittney cause it's my story lol) mind you at this point it's been established by the brotherhood rank system aka period 8 lunch who were the baddest in school and everyone was tryna talk to them. They were arguably the 5 baddest in the school and niggas were on their heads. Now my one friend bagged one if them on the spot and the other one was already cuffed, but for them to tell me the most sought out one wanted me!? NI-GGA! I was feeling my self I started wearing shit I didn't usually wear to school (side note: I wore this Armani T shirt with the Black true religion jeans and some polo boots with this Hugo Boss jacket I was fly) Anyway weeks go by and I'm in music class talking to to homies and I tell them like yo....im bout to talk to Brittney....the problem was....

Brittney was the ex of my bro from track! So I'm like damn you my homie I'm not gonna do that to you etc I'm like I'm going to chalk It up, he goes "nah bro you good go head we friends but we broke up years ago" (THIS LOW-KEY WAS A WARNING But my dumb ass wanted a girlfriend so I'm like bet where she at?) Ok ok remember how HUGE MySpace use to be? Remember this.: So fast forward I ask for her number and she didn't have one cause idk but she had a house phone plus she added me on MySpace. So on MySpace that's were I started spitting THAT GAME and long story short I changed my relationship status from single to taken and THAT. SHIDD. FELT. GUUD! That shit felt like every nigga in that school had a shot and I came through like M'Baku like "Essssss challuuunge deeeeey" . You couldn't tell me shit , plus we had the same spanish class so we were out her being a couple nd shit and for the moment it was all going great.....until....

On one Friday it was a big ass party and instead of going I went to my Cousins house cause tbh fuck them parties they last like 1 hour always. So the weekend ended and Monday rolls by mind you I was getting calls from random ass numbers and I dont answer those like that so when Monday came around we had a fire drill and as SOON as everyone was outside and saw me they ran to me. I had atleast 8 people Coming up to to me saying "Dog bro you my mans get your girl she was at the party all up on some other nigga". me being naive as fuck is like " brittney? My baby? oh nooooo I don't believe yall shut up" but in the back of my mind I'm like ....wait....coikd she? Naah...so I go ask her and she immediately denies so I'm like ok cool. This was around the same time "rumors" started spread around the school that she was out here for the whole team was thottin and when I brought that up she goes "ww...well...that's not true who are you gonna believe your so called friends or someone who loves you?" AGAIN Me being a dickhead I'm like " Yeaaah baby Bonnie and Clyde, Hov and Bey, Angelina and Brad , we all we got! "(I'm laughing writing this cause I was like this..) Now along the way it was signs that were happening that I thought were weird. She would Always have "family" over or her "cousins" just came over out the blue and she had to get off the phone... 😂😂😂( I know man I know laugh! GO AHEAD! Its been almost 10 years fuck yall for laughing 😂🤣) Nd I'm like for an only child you sure have alot of family coming through. So the noise of it all started to get to me and I was over here questioning the relationship. I had a homie tell me to me face "Bro I do not want to see you get hurt and if you keep talking to her we NOT cool" so that night I'm like it's too many signs and tbh I don't wanna be with you anymore (even thoe I did....i did like fuck and I was acting like a bitch) so we broke it off and that's it.........WRONG!

Remember when I told y'all I was in love like a dickhead....well not even 3 days later we got back together cause she "missed me like crazy" and I'm like "baby I miss you too ajdgssnsjdndkd!😂" so we back together and like for them 5 days we were cool....the 6th day....nigga so I stayed after school with her and she was talking to me about Spanish tutoring and how this other nigga in my class was taking tutoring and that we should go....problem was the Spanish teacher got sick and cancelled so we stayed until the 4:00 bus...for her since she lived close it was the 2:45 shuttle so we kissed and she left. Fast forward to the after school bus my step sister stayed after with me and as we were riding back home she scream my name and says "Hey do you still go out with Brittney!?" Me confidently I'm like yeah whassup? She goes "Well hold on they talking bout she goes out with the one boul aka the NIGGA THAT WAS GETTING THE TUTORING IN SPANISH! I felt like a dickheaaaad on the bus. So many emotions, I felt like my lil bitch ass heart was ripped out, so I went home and called her she said message her in MySpace for right now. Thus is where I bring MySpace back.....how about I look on her shit and She put Boul in her TOP 5 behind me!!!!!!!! I was livid so.....

I messaged her like " Yo, are you and Bro talking what's going on...?" She hits me with a........

"Well I thought we were just friends talking " I was so angry I was like (From what I remember I wish I knew my account info but to sum it up I said ) "BITCH how dare you do that to me I loved you and you disrespected me you punk was blah blah blah " I wrote shawty a whole book angry and after I shut my laptop off.......and cried.

Smh lmao so my step sister growing up never like to see my super upset so idk HOW but she found her house number and I could hear downstairs her arguing with her nd etc. I didn't care I was upset I went on my MySpace and changes ALL my profile songs to breakup shit. Damn near a Chris Brown playlist I was HURT! I was writing cryptic ass messages talking about ima be lonley forever and yeah it was BAD! but eventuall I got over it....and the following Monday she ran straight over to me at was like "oh I'm sorry I really am and I'll get rid of all my contact and etc etc. We gotta spread some rulesnif we wanna make this work" I wasn't tryna hear dat shit. So in the end I said fuck it and we wentniur separate ways. I don't have any hate towards shawty but it was fucked up how I happened. Looking back, everytime I tell this story it gets funnier cause I was sprung. But yeah that's how I got Cheated on.....Never again thoe😂😂😂