#i know this trope has been done a million times before but I wanted to have a crack at it so stfu

[cherrysnip]

just that — chwe hansol

pairing: vernon x afab!reader

prompt: "are you guys dating?" or that one time you strongly denied your relationship and he got sulky(?)

a/n: another fic for my fave secret dating x brother's bestfriend trope >.<. this was initially posted on another site before i decided to take it down and let it sit on my drafts for a year lol.

It was already two in the morning but you were still wide awake. With all the things you have done the whole day, it was expected that everyone, including you, would doze off as soon as you get on your beds. Unfortunately, you didn't.

The guilt that has been consuming you since earlier is what's actually making it hard for you to sleep. You had been rolling on the bed too many times as if that would help ease the regret you had been feeling (spoiler alert: it didn't).

When you arrived at your vacation house this morning, you and Vernon had tried to be as discreet with your relationship as possible. You going on a trip together wasn't a new sight, anyway. Vernon and your older brother, Wonwoo had been friends since freshmen year of college so the former is usually invited in times like this and so you both thought you could just let this three days pass without anyone knowing what you really have. However, it seemed like Wonwoo already had a hint about it and had been watching you the entire time. And alas! While you were having dinner, the million-dollar question was finally dropped.

"Are you guys dating?"

Vernon was about to answer but you suddenly panicked and was the one who replied instead, "Of course not. He is just like an older brother to me!"

As soon as you said it, you already wanted to take it back. But it was too late. Vernon may not have said a word but the disappointed look on his face spoke volumes. After that, you avoided each other for the rest of the night.

To be honest, this had been a subject of your arguments a couple of times before. Vernon wanted to tell your friends and families that you have been together for four months already but you're against it. It isn't because you were embarassed about your relationship or afraid that your family would say something negative (if anything, they're very very supportive). It's just that you wanted to enjoy the privacy you had without others minding your business, especially your brother Wonwoo who had been protective of you since your fallout with Joshua, even though it had been years and you have already moved on. He's also the reason why your past suitors had immediately scrammed away after going through the interrogation stage.

"Stop scaring them, will you?" You remembered complaining one time but your brother just shrugged.

"If they get scared of me and give up that easily then they're not really willing to fight for you. People like that are not worth it."

You knew you brother means well but sometimes you just want him to tone down the scare meter a little bit. Because if this continues, you might end up being single for the rest of his life.

But then, Vernon happened.

You already knew who Vernon was since he was a senior in high school. Vernon lives alone because the rest of his family is in another country. That's why when he gets a weekend off from the university, he would tag along with Wonwoo to your house to hang out. He is basically a part of your family now. However, the both of you didn't really got the chance to talk to each other because you were busy studying and usually just stays in your room the whole day when Vernon visits.

That set-up lasted for months until your first day in college. Wonwoo was supposed to give you the tour but had to cancel since he had to attend to something urgently. Of course, knowing you would whine about it nonstop, Wonwoo sent another person to guide you.

It's none other than *drum rolls please*, his best friend, Vernon. Surprise, surprise!

"Hi," that was just the first word that Vernon said to you (while sporting that smile that YOU swear would actually make anyone melt if possible), but you already knew you would fall for him. HARD.

You wouldn't admit it at first. The guy's nice (and freaking handsome and hot too) but you didn't want to give meaning to that kindness because you thought Vernon might just be doing it because you are his bestfriend's sister. However, it wasn't easy to supress the feelings when every time your eyes meet or when you smile at each other, butterflies would fill your stomach.

Not to mention, Vernon would also never forget to buy you your fave Iced Americano every chance he gets.

Luckily, it isn't a one-sided affection. Because apparently, Vernon is feeling the same towards you. The confession was nothing grand but for you, it was romantic and perfect.

It was in the middle of the crowd, during the Music Festival as your university's resident band was playing Enchanted by Taylor Swift, when Vernon looked at you directly in the eye and told you, "I like you so much y/n. I know this might be too sudden for you but I've been keeping this for a while and I just want to let it out. It's alright if you won't like me back ---"

"Shut up. I like you too," You replied while chuckling. You found Vernon blabbering cute because most of the time when you're together, you did the most talking and he would just agree and smile at you every now and then.

That was also the night that your relationship became official.

What followed was the happiest four months of your life. But now you're afraid that it would be cut short if you won't reconcile with Vernon as soon as possible.

You weren't able to take it anymore so you finally got up and carefully tiptoed as you went out of the room. You were just about to go to the next room but you heard a soft mumbling sound from the living room. That's when you realized that someone other than you were still up and is watching the television.

At first, you thought it was your brother but when you saw the brown hair peeking on the couch's headrest, it was a confirmation that it was him—your boyfriend.

Biting your lower lip, you walked towards Vernon who still haven't noticed that you were there. It didn't seem like he was focused to what he was watching, he was more like 'spacing out".

"Nonie?" You called softly and poked at Vernon's arm. The latter automatically looked up to you and blinked multiple times, probably making sure if you were really there or just his imagination.

"Why are you still awake?" Vernon reached for your hand and squeezed it lightly. You resisted yourself from crying because of how sweet your boyfriend is right now when he should be mad at you.

"I'm sorry about earlier," you said but Vernon shook his head.

"I should be the one saying sorry, babe. I told you I would respect your decision but I still acted up."

"But I know you're upset about it, Nonie."

"No. A little disappointed, I guess. I just don't want to hide anything anymore, especially our relationship. I don't want this to stay like a dirty secret because it's not."

You nodded and came over to sit on Vernon's lap. Your boyfriend was obviously taken aback but he just let you be eventually. He even encircled his arms in your waist to pull you closer.

"Okay. We'll tell them tomorrow."

Vernon's eyes widened. "Tomorrow?"

"Why are you so surprised?" You let out a laugh. "Are you still not ready?'

"Of course, I am. I've been preparing for it for months,"

"So you're not scared of Wonwoo-oppa?"

"As my friend, no. But as your brother, yes. I can even imagine him strangling me the second he finds about us."

You both knew that's far from Wonwoo's personality so he would most likely not do that but who knows? It could be worse.

"You'll be fine, Nonie. But if ever you get broken bones, don't worry, there's a nearby hospital, we can just--aw" you tried teasing him but Vernon was already pinching your nose before you could even finish your sentence.

"You're lucky I would do anything for you."

—♡—

[goldeunoias]

We’ll make it fit, right?

Authors note: it is I Daisy and I’m sorry for ghosting I PROMISE IM HERE so here’s a little hee drabble that has a trope that’s been done a million times but idc I LIKE IT🥳🥳

I wrote this on my phone so sorry for errors 😞 I also turned asks back on sjsjsjsj I’m going to start answering them after I post

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“C’mere baby spread your legs nice and wide for me yeah? You were so so confident earlier and now you’re all shy? That’s not like you,” Heeseung purred into your ear as he pushed your legs apart, kissing softly on the shell of your ear.

The light sensation made you shudder and you felt your cheeks burn as you let out a whimper, not used to making such effeminate sounds.

“No n-need to talk so much”, you remarked under your breath, earning a slight laugh from heeseung as he lifted up your large tshirt and pulled down your shorts.

“Sorry princess, I’m a talker. You can’t even hide how wet you are with this big tshirt of yours, panties are soaked to the brim,” Heeseung groaned as he looked at your soiled underwear, unable to control himself from pressing his knuckle down on the sticky patch of fabric.

“You’re not any better,” you choked out as your legs slightly shook, your foot pressing against the hard on through his sweats. He remained unfazed as he chuckled and held up your ankle to his lips, twitching when you felt his lips leave light kisses up your calf.

“Mmm you’re right princess I’m not. I’m ready to burst because of you, you know that?” Heeseung panted as he pulled his shirt over his head, grabbing one of your hands and squeezing it.

“You’re gonna be good and take it all right? I’m sorry if it can’t fit,” he groaned against your neck, licking a languid stripe so you could make out every ridge of his tongue.

“Gonna fit everything right between those legs,” he couldn’t help but remark, his cheeks rosy from how his mind kept swimming from thoughts of you.

Before you could even make a snark reply or comment Heeseungs lips were on yours, desperate at how you tasted.

You whined at how coarse his tongue was and how it seemed to encapsulate your own as trickles of saliva pushed themselves into your mouth, Heeseung unable to hide his grin as your nails left scratch marks against his chest.

Your eyes rushed open as Heeseung slid two digits inside your core without notice, your jaw going slack at the ache you started to feel between your legs.

Even through hazy eyes you could still make out Heeseungs lazy grin as he sucked your bottom lip between his teeth, your heels digging into his mattress at his brutal pace.

“W-wait Heeseung,” you panted out, your chest starting to rise unevenly as he scissored your core, callouses on the pads of his fingers pressing against your velvety walls.

“Shhh it’s okay princess don’t worry, just let it happen you know you’ll feel good. Squeeze down on my hand when you get close yeah?” he cooed against your cheek, kissing it softly.

It was a contrast to how tight and rigid your lower belly began to feel as he slipped in a third finger, wanting to make sure you were prepped and ready for every single inch.

You squeezed down on Heeseungs hand to indicate that you were close, your other free hand leaving cherry colored marks down his back.

“Mmmm Hee,” you croaked out, your body becoming encompassed in heat as your back arched into his form.

“I know baby you’re squeezing down on my hand so tightly,” he soothed, speeding up his fingers.

“Don’t fight it just let it happen yeah?”

You couldn’t contain the moans that erupted from your chest as the knot snapped in your stomach, your body unable to stop itself from shaking as you faded into the afterglow.

“Mmm good girl, such a good girl,” he couldn’t help but praise, peppering your face with kisses as your frame shook.

You snapped out of your daze when you felt something warm and hot prodding at your entrance, squirming slightly against his hold as really took in his size.

Heeseung could only chuckle and pout at your timid demeanor, unable to stop himself from teasing.

“What’s wrong princess? You told me before we started I was being too confident, too cocky,” he drawled in your ear as he nipped at the shell of it, sliding in the first inch.

You now realized this was the pride before the fall as you felt your tummy tense and your walls twitch as the full feeling you were about to experience, Heeseung snapping you out of your daze so you could stare at his carob eyes.

“It was you who said you wanted this didn’t you? Where’s that confident girl now huh?” Heeseung tsked before nipping at your ear, pushing in another inch.

You were losing the ability to form words and Heeseung was reveling in it all, his warm hand squishing your face to hold you still when he was half way.

“Are you gonna be a good girl and take what you asked for?”

The arrogance in his tone made your chest burn with annoyance and your body burn as remnants of your pride withered away.

You nodded and bit down on your lip as he pushed in the rest, practically going cross eyed as your mind could only focus on how full it felt between your legs….

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

OKAY HOPEFULLY THIS WASNT HORRIBLE. (If it was I’m so sorry it’s been awhile😭

honestly I haven’t written for heeseung in a while bc no anons or comments or reblogs ever come from him and it’s kinda demotivating.

If you like having heeseung be written this way tell me! And I’ll write more of it! Same thing goes if you like reader being written this way!

Pls pls pls pls pls pls 💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕 (imagine me begging on my knees i am begging

[amsgrey]

request for a kaz brekker x reader one bed trope! literally some of my favorite fics to read ever!!! def with some angst maybe reader gets injured on the heist and kaz has to help. reader insists that they should sleep in the same bed and they end up confessing feelings or something. SO GOOD

Thank you for the request! Sorry it took so long but hey, it's alright.

Warnings: Violence, Blood, typical canon violence, kind of OOC!Kaz, semi-bad writing.

“Hey,” Nina didn’t bother knocking as she stepped into your room, “There’s someone here to see you.” 

You looked up from your small desk, “Who?” 

Nina shrugged, “Wouldn’t say, but she won't leave until she speaks with you.” 

You frowned, getting to your feet and following after Nina. A million possibilities ran through your mind as you descended the stairs, you didn’t know many people from Ketterdam, or you didn’t know anyone that Kaz also didn’t know. WHo had come to speak to you was a complete mystery to you and judging by the way the Crows were gathered at the bottom of the stairs, it was a mystery to them too. 

“Who is she?” Jesper broke the heavy silence first.

You rolled your eyes, “How am i supposed to know, Jes?” 

Walking past him and the others you looked for the woman. There were a few dregs hanging around in the slat, like always. Hiding from the damp Ketterdam air or filling in their afternoons with ale and gambling. It meant the woman stuck out like a sore thumb. When you finally saw her, your blood ran cold. 

“Oh, my,” The woman stepped forward, she grabbed your hands and smiled at you, “Look how grown up you are, my dear.” 

She pulled you into a hug, an awkward show of affection that she had never done before. 

“Mother.” 

She hadn’t changed in the 7 or so years since you saw her last, a few graying hairs and wrinkles around her eyes were the only evidence time had passed. She still wore the same turquoise dress, the fabric stained and dirty where it spent too many years dragging on the dirt. She had tied a knitted shawl around her shoulders, to stave off the cold of the barrel and to make herself look more presentable. When you were a child on the farm with your parents, your mother would refuse to do any of the hard labor or household duties, always dressed in her ‘fine’ clothes and sitting by a window like the queen of Ravka. 

You hated her for it then, the way she forced you to conduct her duties. The hard labor with your father on the farm, the chores inside the home, raising your three younger siblings. Looking at the woman before you now, you hated her just as much. 

“What do you want, mother?” You forced out through gritted teeth. 

The woman batted your hand she still held, a sharp smack to chide you for your tone, “Is that how you speak to the woman who raised you?” 

She didn’t raise you though. Your father was the one who taught you everything you knew, cared and loved you. The marriage of your parents had been of convenience, a rich farmer up the road had fallen on hard times so he married off his only daughter to your father. Something neither of them wanted. 

When your father had died suddenly in a farming accident, your mother had sold you to slavers, without a second thought. You had spent years in Ketterdam trying to bury the memories of your younger brothers screaming for you to stay, the chains that chaffed and burnt your skin and the cruel men who didn’t care about anything but making coins. 

Standing with your mother before you, her soft hands gripping you so tightly, you felt like a young girl all over again. Begging for affection from a woman who hated your existence, cursed to always be nothing to her. You could still remember the beatings and the screaming, the bruises that you tried to hide and the permanent split in your lip which took years to properly heal. 

Kaz was watching the whole encounter, quiet and calculating like he always was. The other crows were growing concerned, there was an air of uncertainty that settled over them all. 

“What can we help you with?” Kaz finally spoke, he stepped closer to you, towering over your mother. Having him at your side brought you ease, a feeling of calm that always came over you when he was near. Kaz was prepared for anything, he always looked out for you and the crows. 

“And you are?” Your mother snapped, glaring at Kaz. 

Kaz didn’t seem bothered, “Are you here for something? Or to terrorize your daughter?” 

You glanced back at Kaz, he had a look of pure rage in his eyes. You hadn’t told Kaz the details of your past, but he knew your mother sold you to slavers. You realized suddenly you didn’t want to be in the middle of Kaz and your mother fighting. 

You grabbed your mothers arm, dragging her away from the gathered Crows and Kaz’s glower and pulling her outside. In the Ketterdam air things were immediately colder, you hadn’t grabbed your coat so you could feel it even more. 

“What are you doing here?” You demanded. 

“Can I not come see my daughter?” 

“You never cared before, I didn’t even know you knew this is where I lived. You sold me to slavers,” You cried, stepping away as you started to get upset. “What in Sankta Alina could you want?” 

“I am married,” Your mother boasted, “He lives in the Zelver district, we want you to come have dinner.” 

You were reeling, so much information was thrown at you all at once. You gapped to answer. 

“Your brothers will be there too,” Your mother waved her hand like she was dismissing your concerns, “They stayed on the farm.”

“Why- why do you want me there?” 

“To make amends, my love,” She took your hands again, “It is time we act like a family again. Perhaps you could bring that guard dog of yours, act civilized.” 

You wanted to say yes, straight away you wanted to say yes and trust that she had true intentions. But there was something nagging in your mind. 

“Who is it that you're married to, mother?”

“A Merchant, trades with the Ravkan crown, Alexei Berezin.” 

You recognized the name immediately, he had one of the largest mansions in the Zelver district, rivaled only by foreign dignitaries. He had brought in a large shipment of Ravkan gold and silk, Kaz had stolen half of it almost immediately, because Berezin had thought himself untouchable. 

“When's dinner?” You forced out, trying not to let your knowledge of the man show. 

“Tomorrow, be there by seven.” 

She wandered away, slipping into the crowd of foot traffic and joining the mess of colours. 

-- 

“Alexei Berezin.”

You forced a smile, “It’s a pleasure to meet you.” 

The man looked over you and Kaz like you were nothing, he grunted in greeting and disappeared towards the drinks cart. 

You looked at Kaz, “Too late to leave?” 

Kaz smiled, it made him look softer somehow, “We don’t have to stay long, let's hope Inej and Wylan are quick.” 

A servant greeted you as you walked further into the drawing room, she offered you and Kaz wine in crystal glasses. You had played being rich at banquets and galas before, it was easy to hide in a crowd of rich people to steal from them, but here holding the crystal glass made you feel so exposed. The only thing that was stopping you from running out the door was Kaz by your side. He always looked out for you, tonight would be no different. 

Your mother had lied, your brothers were not at the dinner. She had spun some more lies about how they hadn't been able to make the journey but you wondered if they were even invited in the first place. You, Kaz, your mother and her new husband all sat at the ridiculously long table, eating silently except for a few forced comments. 

“So,” Berezin belched, downing his fourth glass of brandy, “Mr Brekker, how is business?”

Kaz looked at you from across the table, “As good as yours, Berezin.” 

Berezin snared, “So then you admit to taking my shipment?” 

“A shipment?” Kaz leant back, starting to enjoy the game. 

Berezin started getting red in the face, rage barely contained in his eyes, “You know exactly what I’m talking about, Dirty Hands.” 

A smile ghosted across Kaz’s face, “Is this why you extended the invite, Berezin? Hoping to get your silks back?” 

You jumped when Berezin slammed his fist on the table, he stood abruptly, his chair falling backwards loudly, “You listen to me here boy! You will pay me back what I am owed or I will make your life a living hell!” 

“A living hell?” 

“You have no idea who you are messing with, you and your little whore will pay-” 

Kaz was on his feet faster than you had time to process, “Watch your mouth, Berezin, or silks won't be the only thing you lose.” 

Berezin started shouting in rage, his words mostly coming out as jumbled insults and threats which didn’t mean anything for you and Kaz. 

“We’re leaving,” You said to your mother, not bothering to bid her a proper goodbye as you joined Kaz’s side and retrieved your coats. 

You were both halfway through the foyer when things took a turn. 

Somewhere in the garden outside a fire roared to life, a green chemical fire that was Wylan's emergency beacon. Kaz urged you to walk faster, his cane striking loudly against the marble floor as you both tried to leave before Berezin caught on. 

“Thief!” 

Kaz grabbed your hand, and both of you ran the rest of the way out of the house and down the garden path. Berezin was screaming from inside the house, shouting orders to his few guards and screaming for someone to alert the Stadwatch. You and Kaz didn’t stop running until you reached the canal, skittering to a stop and dropping into the waiting boat. Matthias and Wylan were already there, Wylan was heaving like he had just finished a mad dash too. 

“Did you get it?” Kaz demanded as Matthias started to row the boat towards 4th Harbor. 

Wylan was nodding, “Handed it off to Inej, she and Jesper are heading to the warehouse now.”

You had to give it to Kaz, when he had explained the plan this morning after all-night scheming, you didn’t think you would be able to pull it off. But yet again, he proved he knew everyone's skills. 

The plan was somewhat simple, you and Kaz would entertain Berezin while Wylan posed as a servant and slipped into Berezin's office. Wylan would swipe the key to Berezins safe which sat in his warehouse; it was old and Ravkan, protected by small science. You didn’t have enough time on the first job to try and crack it, so now was the perfect time. The original plan was for you and Kaz to stay all through dinner and whatever other pleasantries were to be had, while Wylan snuck through undetected. His Green fire beacon was a sign he had been caught, so you and Kaz hightailed out before things got too nasty. 

 Inej and Jesper were on their way to the safe now, while you, Kaz, Matthias and Wylan drew attention in the opposite direction. Headed towards 4th Harbor meant the four of you could lead the following guards and Stadwatch into the twisting streets and narrow wharves and hopefully escape into the crowd. 

As Matthias moored the boat to the side of the canal, you and Wylan climbed out and surveyed where you were. 

“Are you alright?” You asked him, still aware of how his hands shook. 

Wylan nodded, but you were unconvinced. 

Matthias and Kaz climbed out of the boat after you, the four of you standing at the canal edge for a moment while you tried to compose yourselves. 

“Hey! Stop right there!” 

“Bastards,” Kaz swore, already ushering the three of you to run before they started to shoot. 

“Kaz, they're after us, not Wylan and Matthias…” You shouted as you ran down the street alongside the canal, headed towards the Council of the Tides Watchtower. 

Kaz ordered everyone to stop, “Y/N’s right, Wylan, Matthias, head back towards the slat, take the long way and check for tails, we’ll go the opposite way.” 

Matthias started to argue, “No, we should-” 

You all ducked as gunfire echoed through the streets. Bullets ricochet off the cobbles at your feet, dangerously close to hitting one of you. 

“Go!” Kaz yelled over the noise, blindly reaching for your hand and pulling you along with him as you headed away from Matthias and Wylan and towards the government district. 

You were right, the three or four guards from Berezin's estate followed you, not your friends as you rushed through the dark streets. At this time of the night, the Crow Club and the surrounding area would be buzzing with life, but in this part of town, everyone was shut inside asleep. There weren’t many lights, aside from a few lanterns left on in people's doorways, so as you and Kaz ran you stuck to shadows and unlit alleyways, hoping to lose your stalkers in the maze of buildings. 

Kaz pulled you to a stop after running for ten minutes and started to take a toll on him and his leg. The two of you ducked into an alley, Kaz leaned heavily against the wall and his cane, heaving as he regained his breath. You glanced over him, worried that he wouldn’t be able to continue for much longer. 

“Maybe we lost them,” You whispered, peaking around the corner to the main street, which was completely deserted aside from a rogue tabby. 

Kaz nodded, unable to speak a reply. You kept glancing from the main street to the end of the alley, which appeared as if it curved around and kept going. You had no idea if it was a dead end or not, but staying here was making you anxious, it was still too exposed. 

“I Have a safe house not far from here,” Kaz said, pushing off from the wall and leaning on his cane. 

“A safe house?” You replied, “In the government district?”

Kaz rolled his eyes, “You underestimate me.” 

If he hadn’t been hurt you would have pushed him away, chuckling at his comment. Instead, you opted for offering him your arm so you could walk out of the alley together, hopefully, Stadwatch who patrolled the area would think you were a couple returning home. 

The two of you walked arm and arm down a few streets, smiling pleasantly at the passing Stadwatch or the rare delegate returning to their boarding. After a few turns Kaz said you weren’t far from the safe house, which was an old apartment above a tailor.

“How did you even get an apartment above a tailor?” You teased, “Hiding a side business?”

The sound of a gun cocking stopped you both in your tracks. 

“You even twitched, I put a bullet in the girl.” 

The barrel of the gun was jammed into your back, the voice behind you ordering you both to turn with your hands up. 

The two men before you were guards for Berezin, you could tell from the crest that was pinned to their jackets. You looked around for the other two men, but they weren’t around. Hopefully, they were far away, you weren't sure if you could win a 2-1 battle tonight.

You moved to pull your flint from your pocket, you had stowed it away safely the first time you and Kaz had run for your lives tonight, now you wished you stayed holding it. Your hand slipped into the pocket of your coat, your fingertips brushed the cool material, pulling into your fist and preparing yourself to summon. You only had one chance at this. The sound of the gun firing struck you first, the deafening crack that bounced from the walls. The searing pain in your right side forced your fist open in shock, your flint clattering to the cobbles as your other hand came to cradle your side. Immediately your blood started seeping through your fingers, soaking through your coat and dripping onto the street below. You looked up at the man who shot you, just in time to see Kaz bring his cane cracking into the side of the man's face. It sent him sprawling, the force of the blow knocking him off balance. You used your opportunity to kick the second man in the shin, stunning him for long enough for Kaz to incapacitate him too. 

Kaz wound his arm around your waist, pulling you away from the two men as they groaned on the ground and dragging you up the street. 

“Just hold on a little longer,” He spoke as he led you down another side alley, “We’re almost there.”

He forced you to stop before an old door as he fiddled with the lock. The dark green paint was peeling, revealing the chipped and water-stained wood. Kaz flickered with the lock for a few seconds and the door swung open, revealing a steep staircase into the safe house. 

“You’re kidding,” You groaned, letting Kaz shuffle you into the small space as he shut and locked the door. 

“Go on then,” Kaz smirked, pushing you up the stairs. 

The two of you climbed up the stairs, silent as you struggled together. When you reached the top, Kaz opened the final door and you both tumbled through over the threshold. The safe house was less of a house and more of a safe room. Filled with crates and shadows of objects you couldn’t make out, it felt much more cramped than your room in the Slat. Kaz pulled out his bone light, casting the room in the pale green light. With the new light, you could see the space clearer. A sink in the far corner close to the only window, and a bed pushed as far from the window as possible. You stumbled over to the sink, holding yourself up on the basin as you tried to get a look in the small mirror at your wound. 

“Let me help,” Kaz ordered, pulling out a crate from the wall and forcing you to sit down. 

Kaz looked over your side, letting you know the bullet had gone straight through, but would need some stitches and to be cleaned. There was a pause where you both realized you would have to remove your coat and top so Kaz could see better. With shaky hands, you slowly unbuttoned your coat. Kaz helped you guide it off your shoulders, letting it fall out of the way. 

“You’ll have to unzip my dress,” You whispered to Kaz, hands going back to your throbbing side. 

Kaz cleared his throat, nodding and stepping around you to follow your instructions. You could feel the smooth leather of his gloves ghost over the skin on your neck as he fiddled for the zip. He couldn’t get a good grip, abandoning one of his gloves on the floor so he could hold the small tab properly. Kaz’s fingers were freezing, When he touched the skin on your back the chill seeped under your skin and into your bones. You focused all your energy on not shivering against the feeling. He gently folded the dress down, letting it fall around your hips so he could see the bullet wound clearer. It left you in your bra and skirt half of your dress, yet you didn't feel exposed. Kaz was nothing if not respectful to you and you truly felt nothing but trust for him now.

 There were no words between you as Kaz stepped to your side and crouched down. You could see him out of the corner of your eye, but he was focused solely on your wound, his brow scrunched up in a frown. 

The two of you stayed silent as Kaz worked. You handed him what he asked for, a wet rag, sutures and a needle, a bandage. When he had finally tied off the last stitch, he started to bandage your waist. By now he had abandoned his other glove to the floor too, both of them covered in your blood and useless to him. He focused on the warmth of your skin as he wrapped the bandage around your waist, making sure to wrap it a few times to ensure it was secure. When he was finished, he noticed how quiet you had gotten, staring down at the floor with slightly glazed eyes. 

“Are you alright?” Kaz’s voice came out more of a croak, just above a whisper. It pulled you from your dissociation, pulling you into the moment. You turned to look at him, The bastard of the Barrel kneeling by your side, hands stained with your blood and the most caring, almost loving look in his eyes. 

You must have lost more blood than you thought, Kaz did not love you. 

“I’m fine.” 

Kaz nodded once, shakingly pushing himself off the ground and turning on the water to wash clean his hands. You didn’t move from the crate, mostly because you were unsure of what to do and also because there wasn’t exactly space to move in the room anyway. 

“You should sleep.” Kaz said, refusing to look up at you from the sink. 

“We both should. You can take the bed.” 

Kaz shook his head, “No. You're injured, you take it.” 

You rolled your eyes, “Did you sleep last night Kaz?” 

There was a heavy silence. 

“So you need to sleep now. There's plenty of room for both of us anyway.” 

You knew as soon as you said it the atmosphere had changed. It was well known Kaz kept his distance when he wasn’t wearing gloves. You had rarely seen him without them no matter where he was. After the longest silence, Kaz finally nodded, letting out the quietest, “Okay.” 

He turned to you, “There should be a stash of clothes in one of these crates, I could find them?” 

You smiled, nodding. Sitting with the top of your dress folded down was starting to get cold and sleeping like this would only make things more awkward. 

Kaz riffled through a few crates, finding ammo and whiskey before finding the crate filled with shirts and trousers. He pulled one of each out, setting them on the bed and turning his back so that you could get changed with some semblance of modesty. It was amusing for you, that he had already seen enough but he was too kind to even risk a glance now. 

When you had gotten into the clothes, with a little struggle trying to lift your arm into the sleeve, you pulled back the quilt on the bed. Kaz helped, letting you shuffle across the bed to where it pressed to the wall. The bed was so much bigger than your one, more likely double the size. Your bed hardly fits you in it, slightly too short and skinny because of the awkward rooms of the Slat. This bed was different. Although not as soft as your own, the size meant you and Kaz both had enough room so that you weren’t too close. 

Kaz was about to lie the quilt down and get on top when you stopped him. 

“Are you mad?” 

“What?” He scoffed, confused as to why you were heckling him now.

“Kaz Brekker, you will get cold. Just get under the quilt and stop acting like we’re some teenagers who can’t get ahold of ourselves.” 

Kaz stared at you in shock, blinking down at you with pure perplexion in his eyes. 

“Jesper was right,” He sighed, getting situated under the quilt to please you. 

“Right about what?” You pressed, turning in the bed to fix him with a glare. 

“You are cranky when you're tired.” 

“Oh shut up,” You scoffed, rolling back to stare at the ceiling and now him. 

Kaz chuckled, by now the bone light was fading steadily, the pale green light becoming nothing more than a faint glow from the corner of the room. You couldn’t see Kaz’s face too well, barrel able to make out the faint outline of his features in the dark. 

For a while, the two of you lay in silence, the only noise coming from the far-off sound of waves in the harbor. With no one else on the streets, every time footsteps echoed around in the streets below, you held your breath. 

“They won’t find us,” Kaz whispered, feeling you tense next to him. 

You didn’t respond, trying not to panic yourself further. 

“Listen to me,” Kaz shifted, the bed shaking slightly under you both, “We’re safe here, I won’t let anything happen to you, not again.” 

“Wasn’t your fault,” You responded, mirroring Kaz’s movements to face him, “Jobs go wrong sometimes.” 

Kaz didn’t react, “Sleep. We’ll head back to the salt when the city wakes up.” 

You wouldn’t say it out loud, but Kaz being by your side to protect you filled you with a sense of ease. You could relax back into the pillow and trust that he was going to look after you, no matter what. As you slipped into sleep, you thought dreamily about how much you cared for the bastard of the barrel, even if he didn’t share the same feelings. 

Kaz was thinking the same as he watched over you. He sat up in the bed as soon as you had fallen asleep, staring at the door in the dark, prepared for anything that might come barreling through it. He cared too much about you to let you get hurt again, especially when he was the only one around to protect you. He would never say it out loud, like you, but he would do anything to protect you from harm in the city where no one mourned. 

[rubyreduji]

birthday presents for a tiger — ksy

summary: it’s your neighbor’s birthday, you decide to give him a gift

tags: smut (minors dni!), neighbors!au warnings: explicit unprotected sex, multiple orgasms, voyeurism, masturbation, praise, back scratching, creampie, reader calls soonyong tiger lol wc: 3.1k an: this trope has been done a million times, i do not give a shit this has been on my ideas list for months now so hap birth hosh

Ever since you moved into your town home you have been…intrigued with your neighbor, Kwon Soonyoung. (He introduced himself to you as ‘Hoshi’ and it took you almost two months to learn his real name).

On weekdays he gets up early and comes home late but on weekends he’s the life of the block. He has a good relationship with the people who live next to him—Seokmin on the right, Seungkwan on the left—and they can always be seen hanging out on their front porches. Besides those two, it seems that everyone likes Soonyoung and his friendly personality. You're included in that mix, but you can’t help but get easily annoyed at him as well.

You think his tiger paraphernalia is a bit of an eyesore and sometimes he can just get SO loud and you don’t even want to get started on his shameless flirting. From the day you two met, Soonyoung has tried to put the moves on you, laying the charm on thick and always coming up short. Sure, he’s an objectively good looking guy and you do admit he is quite charming at times, but you do not fold for men whose pick up lines consist of calling you his ‘tigress’.

The flirting isn’t always the worst though. He always compliments you, which is nice, and he never hesitates to jump to help you with anything you may need. You also get a good laugh out of it if you find one of his pick up lines particularly silly. Soonyoung’s face always lights up when you do laugh and you can’t help but find his chubby cheeks and squinted eyes adorable. 

Then there was that one time you got stood up for a date and Soonyoung found you sitting on the curb, all dressed up and alone, and offered to make you tea. You two sat in his kitchen the whole night talking and you realized that he really is a sweet guy. Those feelings went away the next day when he wolf-whistled at you across the street, but you know, it’s a nice memory.

You tend to find the man most infuriating on hot summer nights, when he’s outside sharing a beer with Seokmin and Seungkwan, and he’s in nothing but a tank top and a pair of loose sweatpants. You may not be falling for his tiger growling he thinks is flirting, but you have found yourself daydreaming about his large hands and his plump lips and his toned arms and his pretty hair and yeah, you find your neighbor incredibly hot, so what? His hotness is outweighed by the annoyed feeling you get when you see him parading it around. Yes he’s sexy, he doesn’t need to show it off to everyone, especially unsuspecting bystanders like you. It’s not good for your heart. Or your panties.

The only thing worse than his porch hangout outfits is the day he helped you put your groceries away after helping you bring them in from your car. Your kitchen isn’t huge so there was minimal space for you two to work around each other, bumping into each other every so often. Then, THEN, as you were putting a can in your pantry, you felt his strong, thick body press up against your back. A shudder ran down your back and it stayed there when you felt his breath on your neck.

“Sorry,” he said innocently, “I’m assuming this goes here?”

It took you a moment to realize he was holding a package of instant noodles, reaching for a shelf. You had to take a deep breath to calm yourself before telling him yes. He then put the noodles on the shelf and pulled away, leaving you disappointed, wanting to feel him up against you even more. Feel him inside of you. After he left you ran up to your room to shove your hands down your soaked panties, furiously rubbing your clit until you came with his name on your lips.

Ever since then you’ve been slightly avoiding Soonyoung, while also trying to catch glimpses of him out your window. Luckily, Soonyoung is a ‘windows open’ person and it’s not hard to see into his house from your bedroom window across the street. At some point you realized that stalking him isn’t going to fix your problem and that just maybe you have to admit you have a crush on him back. You can’t tell him that though, after shooting down his flirting for over a year now. If anything, you want to avoid him even more.

The world has a funny way of working though, and avoiding him becomes impossible when you receive his mail in your mailbox. It’s a cute blue envelope with a tiger doodled on the front and when you turn it over it’s addressed to Hoshi, no last name, just ‘Hoshi”. 

You can’t exactly put it into his mailbox because the mail boxes at your town home have locks on them which means you’re forced to give it to him in person. You quickly check your appearance before heading across the street to Soonyoung’s home. You knock on his front door and you wait for thirty seconds at most before the door is swinging open.

“Oh, Y/N. Hi. I haven’t seen you around recently, I was getting kind of worried to be honest.” Fuck that’s so sweet of him. Damn it, why is he so cute?

“You could have texted me, you have my number,” you say, a bit of a cool tone laced in your voice to try and push your thoughts down.

Soonyoung just chuckles. “Well, I’ll keep that in mind if you go MIA again. So, what brings you around? Do you want to come in? I can make some tea.”

“No, no, I just had to give you this.” You hold the envelope out. “It ended up in my mailbox.” 

“Oh, thank you!” Soonyoung takes the envelope and opens it right in front of you. “It’s my birthday card from my friend Jun!”

“I didn’t know it was your birthday. If I had known I could have baked you a cake or something.”

“Don’t worry, my birthday isn’t for another two days. You can wish me happy birthday then.” Soonyoung shoots a wink at you and you ignore the way your heart speeds up in your chest.

“Yeah, okay. In two days then.”

Well no backing out now, you think as you hit send on the text. 

You: happy birthday soonyoung You: look out the window ;)

It doesn’t take long for Soonyoung to appear in his bedroom window, his jaw dropping and his eyebrows shooting up in surprise.

You’re sitting on your bed in front of your own bedroom window in nothing but a set of lacy black lingerie and a sheer robe over it. You wave at Soonyoung and he shyly waves back, his eyes still trained to your partly exposed figure.

You pick up your phone and hit call on Soonyoung’s number and you see the man scramble to answer the call, nearly dropping his phone twice as he does. 

“H-hello?”

“Happy birthday Soonie.”

“I-” You see Soonyoung swallow, before running a hand through his hair. “Is this my present?”

“Yeah, do you like it?” You stand up from your bed so you can remove your robe, giving Soonyoung a show as you do. You trail your fingers over the garters hugging your thighs before trailing them up your leg to rest on the waistband of the panties.

“Yes. So much.” Soonyoung’s voice is already a little breathy and you can see his fingers resist the urge to palm himself through his pants. “Fuck Y/N. You look so pretty.”

“All for you, tiger.” The name slips off your tongue and Soonyoung is groaning instantly. “I can show you even more if you want?” Your reach around to unclasp your bra, holding it to your chest not to reveal anything just yet.

“Please. I want to see you. All of you. Have for a long time. I need it.” You figured Soonyoung would be whiney in bed, but you weren’t expecting him to be this whiney. If you’re being honest, it definitely turns you on even more. 

“Anything for the birthday boy.” You drop your arms, your bra falling with them. Your tits spill out into the open and Soonyoung whimpers on the other end of the call. You shake your chest a bit to tease Soonyoung even more and he finally lets his resolve go, reaching down to palm at his already half hard cock.

You chuckle as you watch him rub himself, staring at your chest. You reach up and squeeze your tits, pushing them together before letting them go, allowing them to bounce back in place. It doesn’t take long for Soonyoung to discard his pants, pushing them to the floor. 

While Soonyoung is hastily stripping you move to your bed, kneeling on the mattress with your thighs spread to give Soonyoung a view of what’s between them. You reach down and start to rub yourself there, two fingers against your clit. The rough lace of your panties feels nice against the sensitive bud and it doesn’t take long for the fabric to be thoroughly soaked with your juices.

“I’m so wet Soonyoung,” you say. You pull your panties to the side so you can show off your dripping cunt.

“Holy shit,” Soonyoung wheezes out. “Y/N your pussy is so pretty. Wanna taste it.”

“Aww, Soonie, do you wanna eat my cunt? Taste my arousal all over your tongue?” You dip your fingers down into your pussy, spreading your slick over your folds. You bring your fingertips back to your clit, rubbing there again. You know that this is all for Soonyoug, but you have needs too, and you need some kind of friction to soothe the ache in your cunt.

Across the street Soonyoung is shoving his hand down his boxers before pulling his cock out from the waistband. You lick your lips at the sight. His tip is an angry red color and while his length looks average, his cock is fat and you want to feel how heavy it is against your tongue. You wonder if he would be down to 69 so you get the best of both worlds. 

Your fingers work at your clit faster, needing to find your release soon or else you’ll go crazy. You can feel your cunt get wetter and wetter as you touch yourself. When you look out your window it’s clear that Soonyoung isn’t doing much better. His fist is pumping his cock fast and rough and you can hear his moans through your phone speaker.

The sight pulls a moan from your own lips. You decide at that moment you need Soonyoung in you more than anything.

“Soonyoung,” you mewl out. “Please come fuck me. I need it. Spare key is under the planter on my porch. Please.”

At your words Soonyoung is quickly shoving his dick back into his boxers and pulling his pants back on. He’s out of sight within seconds and it barely takes him a minute to be throwing your bedroom door open. You’ve moved so you’re laying back in the bed and Soonyoung quickly sheds his pants again before crawling over your body.

“You don’t know how long I’ve wanted you,” Soonyoung mutters before crashing his lips against yours. You wrap your arms around his shoulders, pulling him down even more so his body rests on top of yours. You can feel his cock rub up against you through his boxers and you cant your hips up to gain even more friction.

Soonyoung’s lips move against yours messily but neither of you care, too frantic to make the moment tender. You feel his tongue slip between your lips, hot and wet, and you allow him to explore your mouth. He doesn’t stay there long, too desperate to get his mouth on other parts of your body.

Soonyoung trails wet kisses down your neck to your tits where he sucks on into his mouth, his tongue running around your nipple. His hands continue to move down your body until one drags against your slit and you gasp loudly, bucking your hips into his touch. 

“Ah, Soonie, please.” You tug at his hair to get his attention. He pops his mouth off your tit and looks up at you with wide eyes, panting a bit.

“Baby?” The nickname has you groaning and you never want him to call you anything different.

“I need you to fuck me, tiger. Right now.”

Soonyoung nods, now determined to make your wishes come true. He quickly sheds the rest of his clothes before tearing your panties down your legs and throwing them behind his back onto the floor. You can see the way his eyes linger on your cunt for a second and you know he wants to dive in and have a meal, but he stops himself, moving to line himself up to your entrance.

His tip rubs at your slit for a moment, teasing your folds, before he finally pushes in. You let out a long, deep moan as you feel his thick cock stretch out your walls and bury itself in you balls deep. Your walls squeeze him tight and Soonyoung looks like he’s also struggling not to cum on the spot.

He allows both of you time to adjust before he pulls his hips back so just his tip is in you, only to slam right back into you. You throw your head back, your back arching away from the mattress. Soonyoung leans down again to kiss at your chest. His fingers dig into your hips, holding you tight so he can continue to pound into your velvety heat.

“Shit baby, I knew you would feel amazing, but this is heaven,” Soonyoung mumbles against your chest. “God you look so pretty like this, speared on my cock as I fuck you open.” He moves his mouth up to your neck, burying his face there. Just like that day back in your kitchen, you feel his hot breath on your neck, and it still sheds shivers down your spine. Only this time, you don’t have to get yourself off to relieve the ache in your core.

You bring your hands up to claw at Soonyoung’s back, digging your nails into his skin. You know you’re going to leave marks, and you file the thought of how hot you find that away for later. You can feel your lower stomach tense, signaling you’re close to your orgasm.

You wrap your legs around Soonyoung’s hips, pulling him into you farther. Soonyoung’s tongue is licking long stripes up your neck in between sucking at the skin and your skin tingles at the way you can feel him all over (and in) you. 

“Tiger,” you pant out, “so close.”

“Me too,” Soonyoung mumbles. “Where do I-”

“Inside. Cum inside me Soonyoung.”

Soonyoung growls, full on rumbles in your ear before his hips speed up their pace, fucking you even harder than before. You reach down between your bodies to rapidly rub at your clit and it only takes a few more seconds for you to completely let go, your legs tightening around Soonyoung as your clenches down.

Soonyoung’s teeth bite down on your shoulder, blood rushing to the surface of the skin, as his hips slow down, his slit pouring his thick, white cum into your cunt. When he pulls out of you, you can feel his cum slide out of you as well and onto your mattress.

Your pussy feels empty without him and you want him in you again instantly. You tell him so and Soonyoung is quick to turn you over, pulling your ass into the air. His still hard cock rubs against your ass cheeks a few times before he’s pushing into you once more.

The thirst in your mind and in your pussy is quenched at the feeling of him filling you up again. You wiggle your ass against him a bit to get him to move and Soonyoung lets out a soft laugh before starting to roll his hips in and out of you. His large hands envelope your ass cheeks, palming at the fat there. The combination of his cock brushing against your g-spot and his hands kneading your ass has your mind fogged with a pleasant hum and you feel content to do this all day.

Soonyoung, on the other hand, seems to have other plans in mind, wanting to get both of you to orgasm again. His hips snap into yours at a quick pace and your mind is so distracted with the pleasure you’re feeling you nearly forget to breathe. 

You feel Soonyoung trail his hand down your back, leaving goosebumps in its wake. You bury your body further into the mattress, your back bending even more as you press your front down and your ass up. 

“You’re so good to me,” Soonyoung huffs between grunt, “best birthday present in a while.”

“Tiger, Soonie, you feel so good in me. Love your cock,” you babble, not completely coherent. Nobody can blame you though, not with the way Soonyoung keeps rutting his cock into you so his tip hits your sweet spot over and over again.

“Shit,” Soonyoung whines, “gonna cum again.” 

You know it hasn’t been long since Soonyoung started fucking you again, but if you’re being honest you’re close as well. Soonyoung reaches around your body to play with your clit, abusing the nub with his harsh rubs. You can’t do much other than clench down and let out labored breaths. It seems to be enough for Soonyoung though because his fingers slow down as you feel his hips stop moving as well. Soonyoung seems to realize his fingers have lessened in pace and he quickly goes back to frantically trying to get you off as he’s still cumming in you. You’re not sure how he can cum more than he did previously, but you’re not complaining, enjoying the full feeling he’s leaving in your cunt.

The feeling of his cum sitting in your pussy has your body shaking, your walls fluttering as you reach your peak. You mewl out Soonyoung’s name as your muscles give out, your body slumping to the bed. Soonyoung pulls his cock from you and flops down next to you, his chest rising and falling dramatically as he catches his breath.

“I- thank you,” Soonyoung says and you laugh slightly. “I’m not joking, that was like the best birthday present ever.”

You move so you can nuzzle your head against Soonyoung’s shoulder, pressing a kiss there. “So you don’t want the cake I baked you earlier?”

You feel Soonyoung’s chest rumble as he giggles. “How about we eat the cake, and then I eat you out after?”

You smile. “I don’t think my presents can get any better than that.”

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[steddieunderdogfics]

This week’s writer spotlight feature is: starryeyedjanai! @starryeyedjanai has 74 fics in the Stranger Things fandom and 60 of them are in the Steddie tag!

@steddieas-shegoes recommends the following works by @starryeyedjanai:

All things end and all things change.

what lurks beneath

nights like this

if i could hold you for a minute (i’d go through it again)

"Janai is one of those authors that can make absolutely anything hot. I could sit and talk for hours about how they characterize Steve and Eddie. I absolutely love everything they write and always make it a priority to open the AO3 email when the notification comes in!" -- @steddieas-shegoes

Below the cut, @starryeyedjanai answered some questions about their writing process and some of their recommended work!

Why do you write Steddie?

These two burrowed their way into my brain and just won’t leave. I can’t not write them when I am thinking about them literally all the time and am brimming with new ways for them to fall in love.

What’s your favorite trope to READ?

I’m kind of a sucker for steddie talking via notes, letters, etc. before they ever meet in person. There’s just something so special about them falling in love in unconventional ways before they ever meet in person that hits the spot, you know? I also just really love all the creative AUs that people come up with that I never would have thought of writing.

What’s your favorite trope to WRITE?

I love writing anything that has friends to lovers and especially if they are so, so stupid about it. Idiot4idiot my beloved. friends/acquaintances to lovers is So fun to explore because there are a million ways to do it. I love a good oh moment where things just click into place.

What’s your favorite Steddie fic?

It is So hard to pick just one!!! So i’ll list a few: One that I have reread a few times that I just really, really love is All I Do Is Want by novemberthorne. There’s just something really special about it—all the emotion in the beginning and then the smut which is just top tier. like a sack of bricks and literally anything by alligator_writes is great off the beaten path by pukner is also really, really great

Is there a trope you’re excited to explore in a future work but haven’t yet?

I have a fic idea that I've been thinking about for a while that involves alternate universes, like the metaverse, because if the Upside Down exists, there are probably other dimensions as well.

What is your writing process like?

It is honestly so variable. For the majority of my ficlets, I get an idea and just start hacking away at it intermittently until it’s done, so it’s safe to say that at any given time, I have like eight ficlets that are partially written. I never used to outline because I didn’t really write fics longer than around 5k, but since I’ve started writing longer fics, it is almost necessary for me to have an outline that hits all the major plot points because otherwise I will forget what I have planned. So for anything that I know will be longer than a ficlet, I’ll write out an outline, even just a few bullet points so that I can reference it when I’m writing and not lose sight of where the story is going. 

Do you have any writing quirks?

I use way too many em-dashes and my sentences are sometimes comically long, but the way I write is indicative of how fast my brain is moving, kind of. I typically headcanon Steve and Eddie to both have ADHD, so any fics in their points of view will have their thoughts coming out as fast as my own typically are. And sentence length and structure can really help convey that.

Do you prefer posting when you’ve finished writing or on a schedule?

I prefer posting once I’ve finished writing because my focus shifts around a lot and it sometimes takes a while for me to actually finish projects (like i had a fic that sat at 16k for months as I worked on other things that caught my attention and then I finally returned to finish the last couple thousand words six or so months later)

Which fic are you most proud of?

I am proud of all of my fics, but I really, really love how All things end and all things change. turned out. Some fics just come together so easily and this was one of them. I outlined the fic and let the idea marinate for a couple months and then I wrote ~20k in about a week and finished the fic.

How did you get the idea for All things end and all things change.?

This fic was for a holiday server exchange so my giftee gave me three prompts and I found ways to incorporate all of the prompts. I saw the prompt for mutual pining roommates and immediately knew I was going to write Eddie taking Steve home to Wayne over the holidays. I originally only planned on using that prompt, but the prompt for a snowy cabin getaway really called to me as I got further along in the fic and needed more tension between them. It was just a really excellent set of prompts.

When writing All things end and all things change., what was something you didn’t expect?

I did not expect it to get so long! My original estimate was 10k, but then I kept adding more to Wayne and Eddie showing Steve how special Christmas could be with people who care about him and then I added the cabin scene which added an easy 5k to the fic and then I was staring at what was, at that time, my longest complete fic. Wild.

What inspired what lurks beneath?

This honestly came out of left field for me because I had only ever written one other fic like it. I was doing kinktober for the first time and had a few different ideas for the prompt for that day and then I saw that the date of that prompt was Joey (@matchingbatebites)’s birthday and remembered her lake monster Eddie ficlet and instantly knew I wanted to explore a different version of lake monster Eddie.

What was your favorite part to write from if i could hold you for a minute (i’d go through it again)?

I really, really loved writing the flashes into the future at the end of the fic. Throughout the fic, there was some yearning and pining from afar and getting to write that everything works out in the end was cathartic.

How do/did you feel writing if i could hold you for a minute (i’d go through it again)?

Oh boy, this fic put me through the ringer. This was written for the steddie big bang and it was the first longer fic that I was attempting to write. I just had so many different ideas for this fic that it made it hard to choose the direction I wanted to go in. I probably have like an additional 20k words that just did not end up in the fic because it contradicted things that did end up in the fic or just didn’t fit with the vibe I was going for. There were times that I felt discouraged and felt like I might never finish it, but I am very pleased with how it turned out in the end! It was extremely rewarding to finally finish it and get it posted in February!

What was the most difficult part of writing nights like this?

Honestly, I don’t remember this one giving me any trouble at all. Once I got the idea in my brain, I think I sat down and wrote all 2.5k in a day. I do not know what my brain was doing during kinktober, but I think I ended up writing like over 60k that month and it was the only time that I’ve ever really been able to sit down and write a ficlet from start to finish like that and it happened with multiple of the ficlets that I ended up writing the day before they were published.

Do you have a favorite scene and/or line from any of your fics?

I really love the lead up to the smut in my fic catch the embers on my tongue. Like eddie being a little self-deprecating and in awe that steve might feel the same way he does was so fun to write. Also the summary for surface level freak is probably one of my favorite things i’ve written.

Do you have any upcoming projects or fics you’d like to share/promote?

Some of the projects I’m working on right now are things I can’t really talk about, but look forward to fics from me in the Steddie Summer Exchange, the Steddie Bang 2024, and the ST Sapphic Mini Bang!

Outside of these questions, Is there anything YOU would like to add?

Whoever nominated me, I am kissing you full on the mouth with tongue (if you’re into that kind of thing)

Thank you to our author, @starryeyedjanai, and our nominator, @steddieas-shegoes! See more of starryeyedjanai's works featured on our page throughout the day!

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[bbyboybucket]

Beds

Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: While sharing a hotel room with Reader, Bucky has a nightmare.

A/N: Surprise. Bet y’all didn’t expect a fic from me. How longs it been? Too long. Anyways, I’m rewriting one of my old fics, or more so taking the same concept but doing it more in character. Also I think this is the first time I’ve written something where we don’t see Bucky’s pov, so I think that’s kinda fun. Btw I’m rusty so don’t judge me if it shows. Also I think this is gender neutral but I’m not sure?

Warnings: language, sexual references, nightmares, ptsd, panic attack (not too intense), allusions to some hydra stuff but nothing graphic, hurt/comfort, frenemies to lovers, Bucky is moody, the one bed trope™️, no use of “y/n”, kinda sappy

—————————

A loud sigh came from the left of you just before the elevator dinged and the metal doors creaked open. You ignored him, you chose not to engage in his passive aggressiveness. You weren’t going to accept the invitation of a petty rant hiding behind that sigh.

You walked down the hallway with Bucky stalking behind you, like an angry pitbull trailing after its owner.

“I don’t even know why we got a fucking hotel in the first place.” Bucky grumbled, and you could practically feel the weight of his eye roll, even though you couldn't see it.

“Here we go.” You muttered under your breath. “What did you want? A safe house? It’s not like we’re on some high stakes, undercover op. Anything more than a hotel would be excessive.”

“Anything more woulda had better sleeping options.” He whined. “Coulda at least got us separate rooms.”

“My god, give it a rest Bucky, you’ve been complaining all day about this.” You we’re exasperated, it was about the third time you’d heard him gripe that day.

“Well, I’m not a fan. Us sharing is the stupidest fucking idea Sam’s ever had.”

“Bitching about it isn’t gonna change anything. And, it’s not like we have to sleep together or anything, I’ll be in a whole different bed.” You said, unlocking the room door. You had been looking forward to chilling out and resting, but as soon as you entered the room, you realized that your night would be anything but restful.

“Fuck.” You laughed, humorlessly, knowing you were about to hear an endless rant. “I take that back, there isn’t different beds.”

Surprisingly that rant didn’t come. Bucky weirdly seemed calmer than he had before and merely shrugged. “‘S fine. I’ll take the floor.”

“Well, one of us can try the couch?”

“That thing could fit a toddler at best.” He gestured towards the small leather love seat as if it was the most ridiculous suggestion he had ever heard, and in all honesty, he had a point.

You pinched the skin between your eyebrows. “Sam said he booked a two person room.”

He shrugged again and then blankly said. “This is why he shoulda booked separate rooms.”

“My god Bucky, I’m not that bad of a roommate. I don’t snore, I don’t sleep walk, and it’s not like I’m gonna kill you in your sleep. It’s one fucking night. Just-“ You took a deep breath and tried to mellow out. “You can have the bed.”

“No, you can have it.”

“You’re obviously more tore up about this than me, so it’s yours. I’ll sleep on the floor.”

“No.” He refused, his eyes held an odd stubbornness. “I’ll sleep on the floor.”

“I literally don’t care, I’ve done it a million times. Plus, your grumpy ass probably needs some good sleep.” You half teased, trying to do the nice thing. You unzipped your bag and pulled your belongings out. “I’m gonna go change clothes.”

When you came back from the bathroom, Bucky was already in his boxers and a T-shirt, positioning a pillow and blanket on the floor.

“I told you the bed was yours.”

“Okay, and?”

“Why are you getting down there?“

“Why the fuck are you arguing?”

“Because you’re all pissy about this whole situation, so I’m trying to make your life easier and give you the bed.” You didn’t understand his defiance and odd aversion to the thing he’d been complaining about restlessly: the better sleeping option.

“I don’t want the goddamn bed, just shut the fuck up about it!” Bucky snapped. His outburst caught you off guard, he acted as if you had been purposefully pushing his buttons.

“Damn, fine.” You held your hands up in defeat, almost offended at the way he lashed out. “I get you’re trying to be all gentlemen-like but ya know, the aggressiveness defeats the purpose.”

“It’s not about being a gentlemen. Don’t get it twisted, I’m not being nice, I-“ He grunted. “Never mind I don’t owe you a fuckin’ explanation. Just get in bed.”

“I will, thank you, cause I’m tired. Especially tired of whatever the fuck is up your ass and has you so bitchy.”

You said it with full sincerity, of course you were used to bickering with Bucky but it always was in a playful manner, even when annoyed with each other, it was always friendly fire. There had been no sign of that all afternoon, Bucky was purely hostile and treating you like his greatest burden.

“You running your damn mouth and arguing isn’t helping anything.” He spat as he turned off the lights.

“Wow, sorry. Didn’t know offering you the bed was so fucking rude and offensive.”

“Shut the fuck up.” He groaned.

You muttered “fucking dick” under your breath.

“I heard that.”

As you settled into the bed, you couldn't help but roll your eyes in frustration. You found yourself pondering what you could have possibly done to provoke such a strong reaction from him. You couldn't shake the feeling that it wasn't entirely about you. Maybe something else was going on and you were standing in as Bucky’s punching bag, just being the unfortunate catheter for his anger.

It didn’t matter. You had to force all the worry and aggravation out of your head because his attitude wasn’t worth losing sleep over. The last thing you need was to be exhausted on a mission.

—————————

You were jolted awake by a sudden, loud gasp, followed by a soft groan emanating from his direction. Rubbing your eyes, you opened them to find him sitting upright, his knees drawn close to his chest. He looked so small, a stark contrast to the huge stature and borderline intimidating presence you’d become so familiar with. His breathing was audible despite the distance between you, it was quick and shallow.

“Buck?” You concernedly called out to him but he didn’t answer. You then got out of bed, and flicked on the nightstand lamp.

“Bucky?” You tried again when you were closer.

Out of all the time you’d known Bucky, this was the first you’d seen him vulnerable. He was trembling harshly, hyperventilating too. He seemed equally dazed and terrified, but also distant as if he were lost in his head. You always thought Bucky had rather sad eyes but right now, the way they were widened with fear and slightly watering, took it to a whole new level.

You knew what was happening and seeing it felt like a stab to the heart. You slowly sat down in front of him, keeping space between you as to not worsen his panic.

“Buck, it’s okay.” You cooed. “Can you hear me right now?”

His gaze shifted to you, finally making eye contact, which gave you an answer.

“Okay, can you try to breathe with me? Deep breath…in 1…2…3” You exaggeratedly took large, slow inhale to lead him. “Out 1…2…3…”

You repeated the example, guiding until he finally started to follow along with you. “Good, you’re doing good. Do you know where you are?”

“….hotel. We’re on a mission?”

“Good, that’s right, good. It’s okay. You’re safe.” With a gentle and caring tone, you spoke to him, hoping to bring a sense of peace to the turmoil that was raging within him. Your heart felt heavy as you seen the pain that was laced within him, and you wished so badly that you could erase it all. You’d been scared you weren’t doing the right things, but his increasing improvement made you more confident.

“Can I touch you?”

He nodded.

You supportively placed your hand on top of his, stroking your thumb over his skin in a soothing manner. He initially flinched but didn’t pull away. “Starting to calm down now?”

“Yeah.” He released a long heavy breath and wiped the wetness off his eyelids with his free hand.

You sat silently with him, providing that tender, tactile support as he as he worked to regain his composure and steady his breathing. As he gradually calmed down, you noticed the shame creeping over him, causing his cheeks to flush red and his gaze to avert from yours.

“I didn’t want you to see this shit.” He finally said after minutes of silence.

“It’s fine-“

“Fuckin embarrassing is what it is.”

“No, stuff happens. I’m not gonna judge, ya know? I understand. I know what having panic attacks is like.” You revealed in attempt to make him feel more seen.

He slightly shook his head, at himself instead of towards to you, but he stayed silent.

“You okay?”

“Yeah.” He paused for a moment, he licked his lips and hung his head even lower. “‘M used to it. Get ‘em bout every night.”

“The panic attacks?”

“Nightmares. Those sometimes comes after though.”

“Oh.” You whispered, feeling like something in you had just shattered. “About hydra?”

“Yeah.”

“You wanna talk about it?” You offered carefully.

“Nothing you should hear. My head’s a fucked up place.” He laughed humorlessly.

“Try me.”

He hesitated for a moment, you assumed he was debating on wether or not he should trust you with such a heavy part of himself. “Basically all memories. Not so much dreams, more so just stuff that’s already happened. Flashbacks I guess.”

As his mouth parted to speak, only to close again, you knew that he wasn’t finished so you waited patiently, allowing him the time he needed to gather his thoughts.

“Most of the time it’s…you know…what I’ve done. People I’ve killed. It’s….of course it’s horrible. Pretty gruesome but uh….I’ve gotten better at dealing with those, it’s still….I just get em so much that I can calm down faster now. But sometimes…it’s the shit Hydra did to me and it’s just….I’d get punished a lot. Some kinda torture or beatings, I’ll spare you the details.”

You continued to stroke his hand and stayed silent, not wanting to push him.

“But uh…they had this chair. Um, I’d get strapped down and they’d electrocute me. That’s how they’d…ya know. And I’d always end up there for a wipe after I fucked up. Or even if I didn’t. I don’t what’s worse honestly…the sick twisted shit they’d come up with or the wipe but…but reliving all that….”

“That’s fucking terrifying.”

“Yeah. Yeah, terrifying is an understatement. Sometimes…it’s hard to feel safe after that.”

His breathing started to pick up again. The cracks in his voice made it clear he was starting to get overwhelmed.

You then firmly grasped his hand, giving it a supportive squeeze. “It’s okay, you don’t have to keep going if you don’t want to.”

“I don’t like to think about all that. I try to never actually. It’s like…obviously it’s…I can’t describe how fucking awful. But at the same time, if I do think about it, it’s like I’m ignoring all the evil shit I’ve done. And that’s not fair to everyone I’ve wronged. So then….if I never think about or deal with the torture….when I have to relive it in these goddamn nightmares…it just fucks me up worse. And my fucking luck is one of the few times it happens is when I’m sharing a room with someone.”

Your heart sank to the floor, your own eyes were watering at this point from getting just this small glimpse of his pain. “I’m so sorry, Buck. Hell, I don’t even know what to say right now. I wish I could do more to help.”

“You’re doing enough.“

“You didn’t deserve it, ya know? I don’t know everything that went on but you never deserved to suffer like that.”

“Half-debatable. At certain point it had to become karma for the suffering I was causing myself.” He shrugged solemnly.

“That’s not true. You had no control.”

He sighed exasperatedly, filled with a sad frustration directed at himself. He put his face in his palm. “We’ve had that conversation. You already know I don’t see it that way.”

“Yeah but I hope one day you will. And I’ll die before I stop trying to get it through your head that you’re innocent. You know you’re strong, right? So damn strong to be holding it together right now. After going through all that pain and to still be here and be a good man? To come as far as you have. I’ve never met anyone as strong as you.”

“We can agree to disagree but I appreciate it….and thanks sitting with me and calming me down and all that.”

“Of course.”

“I’m sorry about earlier. This is why…I didn’t wanna share. And this is….one…of the reasons I don’t like sleeping in a bed. Makes the nightmares worse sometimes. That’s not your fault though, so I shouldn’t’ve…I just didn’t want you to know.”

“It’s alright. I get it now.”

“I shouldn’t’ve took it out on you. I really am sorry.”

“Buck, I get why you were upset. Well kinda, I honestly can’t imagine even a fraction of what you go through.”

“Goin a little far with the pity.” He grew a tiny smirk.

“Compassion.” You corrected. “And I can’t help it, I mean…not to get all sappy, but I care about you. A lot.”

His smirk morphed into a smile and you mirrored it. You wrapped your arm around him and laid your head on his shoulder, Bucky then slowly encircled you with his own arms. You knew the hug was Bucky's way of wordlessly affirming that he cared about you too.

“Didn’t know Mr. Grumpy was capable of hugging.”

“Consider it a one time gift.”

You chuckled in response but then an idea entered your mind.

“You think it’d help if I slept with you?” You asked softly.

He gave you a cheeky grin. “Could at least take me out to dinner first.”

“You know what I meant.”

He sighed. “Not to be an ass but I literally just told you I don’t like beds?”

“No dumb ass, I mean down here.”

He tilted his head and gave a tight lipped frown. “You don’t gotta do that.”

“No. But if it’d help you feel more comfortable, then I want to.”

He didn’t answer at first but because his face had always been an open book, revealing every emotion with striking transparency, he wore an expression that was etched with heartbreaking gratitude.

“Yeah…we can try that.” He whispered, as if he was in shock.

With gentle movements, you plucked the blanket and pillow from the bed and nestled yourself beside him. As you lay towards him, your faces drew closer, until they were mere inches apart. You could feel his warm breath caressing your skin. In that moment, time seemed to stand still as you both gazed into each other's eyes, it was almost hypnotic. There was no awkwardness when it should have been expected, instead, a comforting feeling washed over you. You were consumed by excitement, tinged with a soothing calmness. Sure, it was paradoxical, but it was consuming and left you lost in the moment.

“Um…” Bucky started hesitantly but then cut himself off, he bit his bottom lip nervously.

Before you had a chance to even consider the words, they spilled from your lips. You were surprised with your own spontaneity, but the question had already slipped. “You wanna cuddle?”

It was as if you read his mind, you could practically see all the anxiety melt off Bucky before he pulled you into his chest. “This okay?” He asked.

“Mhm.” You replied, allowing yourself to sink into the comforting warmth of his body, all while listening to the soft thumps of his heart beating. It was a new intimacy that strangely felt familiar and natural, like everything had suddenly fallen into place.

You heard him yawn and you hummed fondly at how cute it was. “Goodnight, Buck.”

Tenderly, he leaned in and softly placed his lips upon your forehead, holding them there for a fleeting moment before settling his chin atop your head.

—————————

Bucky straddled your lap, his hand cupping your face as he devoured you in a passionate kiss that unraveled you with each flick of his tongue. His other hand roamed to less innocent regions of your body, exploring them with a touch that was both bold and tender.

He repositioned and pressed you down onto the couch, towering over you as his tongue continued to dance in your mouth. You were both breathless, and desiring more. He proceeded to plant kisses on your jawline before moving down to nibble on your neck.

He suddenly stopped, muttering against your skin. “You wanna move to your room? Have a little more space for this?”

“You know what’s funny?”

“Hm?”

“How before we got together, you hated beds, but now you want in my sheets every damn second.” You teased.

“Well…feels a lot more pleasant now.”

“Weird way to say ‘I’m always horny’.”

“I’m making up for 80 some years. And like you aren’t, you’re worse than me half the time.”

“Definitely worked up now, so get me to the bed and we’ll go as many rounds as you want, pervert.”

“Fuck you.” He laughed.

“I’m waiting for it.”

[munson-blurbs]

hi ^^ can you do best friend!eddie teaching virgin!reader how to give head ?? like she’s so curious how it all works and i feel like eddie would be so vocal omg like so instructional while trying to keep his cool lol

I know this trope has been done a lot, so I hope y'all enjoy my take on it 💚

Warnings: smut (18+ only, minors DNI), oral (m!receiving), fem!Reader, kinda perv!Eddie, mention of weed, Eddie & Reader are both over 18

WC: 1.8k

--

The cafeteria is buzzing with conversation, including the table where you sit amongst the Hellfire boys. Mike and Lucas are arguing over something–you can’t be bothered to pay attention to their constant squabbles anymore–while Dustin is whining about his failing Spanish grade to Gareth and Jeff.

The only ones not talking are you and, surprisingly, Eddie. He’s nibbling on a pretzel, reminding you of one of the bunny rabbits that congregates in your yard. You’re not exactly sure why he’s so quiet, but you take this opportunity to whisper, “Can we go out to your van for a sec?”

His eyebrows pinch together in confusion; if you wanted weed from him, you would wait until after school hours to buy. Well, buy wasn’t the right word, considering Eddie always gave you yours for free.

“Yeah, sure,” he says, sliding his chair back from the table without bothering to push it back in. If one of the meathead jocks happens to trip over it and twist an ankle before their precious game, that’s not his problem.

You wait until you’re outside, away from anyone who could possibly overhear the absurd request you’re about to make, before you start speaking. “So, um, you know how I have that date tonight? With Mark?” you ask, biting your lower lip nervously. You can taste the strawberry gloss that you’d reapplied after finishing lunch.

Eddie’s already digging through the glove compartment for the baggie he keeps stashed away. “You want some for him, too?” His tone is impatient; irritated, even, as he pulls out the blunt he’s already rolled for you. “Because I only brought one.” For you, he adds silently.

“Wha–oh, no; I didn’t need any weed,” you tell him, shaking your head before dropping your gaze to the gravel beneath your feet. “It’s our third date, and I was thinking he might wanna…y’know…do stuff?” You cringe at the phrasing, but press on. “But I…I don’t really know how.”

“Sweetheart, if you’re confessing your virgin status to me, I already know,” Eddie says with a smirk. “I mean, we’ve been friends for a million years. If you did it and didn’t tell me, I’d be pissed.”

You manage a giggle at his candidness. “Nope, still a virgin,” you report miserably. “And last time, he asked me to give him head, but I told him I had to get home. Not because I didn’t want to, but because I didn’t wanna do it wrong.”

Eddie shrugs. “Just don’t use teeth,” he replies casually. “Other than that, there isn’t much you can do wrong.” He starts back towards the school, pausing when he realizes that you’re not by his side. “Look, I don’t have any other tips. I’ve only ever been on the, uh, receiving end of dick sucking.”

“Yeah, well,” you mumble, shoving your hands in your pockets and brushing the toe of your sneaker against the ground, “that’s kinda what I wanted to ask you. I was thinking that maybe I could…practice on you?”

Eddie’s eyes practically pop out of his head. “You…you wanna do what?”

“Forget it. It’s stupid, I’m sorry. Can we never talk about this again?” Tears well up in your eyes, and you try to blink them away before he can notice. What were you thinking? Asking your best friend if you could give him a blowjob?

“Hey, no, I just wanted to make sure that’s what you meant.” He smiles, letting his hand graze yours. “Do you mind…in my van?”

You nod, returning his smile with your own shy one. “Um, yeah. I mean, no, I don’t mind. I can give you head in your van.” 

Eddie swallows a lump in his throat, opening the back door and helping you inside. He lays down on the shag carpet–the one you always tease him about–and pats his thigh. “C’mon over.” He watches as you timidly straddle his waist, trying not to sit down on his lap. “You’re not gonna crush me, y’know,” he jokes lightly. “And even if you did, s’not like I’d be mad about it.”

You hesitate but ultimately let yourself rest on him; immediately, his cock starts to stiffen, and you pull back. “Shit, I-”

“S’okay,” Eddie says, tilting his head. He’s not about to let you know that this isn’t the first time you’ve gotten him hard; just the first time you know about. “Whenever you’re ready.”

Fingers fumbling with his belt, you pull on the strip of leather until the shiny metal clasp unhooks from its notch. He undoes the silver button on his pants but lets you tug his zipper down until you get a glimpse of his blue-and-white checked boxers. “Can I take these off?” you ask.

“Y-Yeah, ‘course,” he stutters, sitting back on his elbows to give you more leverage. You have to keep yourself from gawking at his hardened length as it rests against his Iron Maiden shirt, tip leaking a pearly bead of pre-cum. He mistakes your awe for nerves, and he quickly adds, “if you changed your mind, I’m not gonna be mad or anything–”

“No,” you shake your head. “I just d-don’t know where to start.”

Relief visibly floods his body. “I like being teased a little. Like, kissing it or licking it–holy fucking shit.” His train of thought is abruptly cut off when your tongue flattens against the base of his shaft, dragging upwards until you reach the head. His lithe fingers grab onto the collar of your cotton t-shirt, twisting the fabric around them just to steady himself. 

“Like that?” you ask, giving him eyes that are far too innocent for someone who just coated his dick with her saliva. 

“J-Jus’ like that,” Eddie nods, gripping your shirt tighter as your lips brush against his length with tiny, measured pecks. “And then you’ll wanna–fuck–wanna focus on the tip. Wrap your lips around it, there you go.” His toes curl as you lower your mouth, licking at the saltiness. “Make, like, circles w-with your tongue.” 

You do as he says, feeling him twitch against your parted lips. A wanton moan escapes him, and it’s music to your ears. A sign that you’re doing something right. 

“When you’re ready—Jesus H. Christ, your mouth feels s’fucking good—hollow out your cheeks and kinda…glide down? I dunno, all the blood is rushing to my dick right now.”

You blanche as you reposition yourself, glancing at his girth. “Eddie, I…I don’t think I can fit all of you in my mouth.”

His fingernails could tear through your shirt with the grip he has. “Shit, y-you can’t say that. Actually, you can. Tell me how fuckin’ big I am, baby.”

Baby. You try not to let this new pet name distract you as you say, “you’re huge, Eddie. I won’t be able to take it.”

“Yeah? Gonna choke on my cock?” Eddie growls, momentarily forgetting his role as oral sex tutor. “S-Sorry. Um, if you can’t, you can use your hand to help you out.”

“Okay,” you nod, crouching back down. One hand rests on his thigh while the other wraps around the base of his dick. He hisses at your touch, and you smile despite the butterflies in your stomach. 

“M-Might help if you spit on it. My, um, my dick.”

The trail of saliva drips down until it reaches his wiry patch of pubic hair. You swirl your tongue around his tip a few more times for good measure before opening your mouth a bit wider and bringing your head down. 

“Thassit, keep doin’ that. Don’t worry about getting it all; jus’ do what you can.” His knees tremble as you move a bit faster. “You can do the t-tongue thing when you come back up. I really like that, fuck.” 

You want to ask about the pace: is it too fast? Too slow? But when you lift your gaze to meet his—your lips still on his length—he lets out a whimper. A fucking whimper. 

“Yes, look at me, baby. Look at me while you blow me,” he pants. “Wanna see your cute little mouth stuffed full of my cock.” And if that wasn’t enough, what he says next could stop a bullet in mid-air: “You’re better than I ever imagined.”

That’s enough to warrant you to ask a follow-up question, and Eddie could cry when you pull away. “You imagined this?”

“Mhm,” he squeaks out. “Wanted you f’so long. Please just keep going. Please don’t stop.”

So you don’t. You find your rhythm, using his groans and twitches to find what he really likes. It’s messy and different but so fucking right. 

“Hnng, baby, ‘m gonna cum. You might wanna—”

But you shake your head gently, not wanting to break the momentum you’ve built. You lock eyes with him, silently telling him that it’s okay.

“Fuck, you’re perfect. You can spit it out if you don't wanna swallow, pretty girl. B-but ‘m about to c-cum—fucking shit!” You take as much of him as you can until you start to gag, and you feel his hot release hit the back of your throat. It’s a lot; much more than you’d anticipated, but you swallow it all. 

Eddie stares at you incredulously, momentarily speechless. “Did you just…?”

“Was I not supposed to?” The intimacy of it only dawns on you now. He’s just teaching you, and now you’re going on a date with someone after swallowing his cum. “Shit, I’m sorry.”

He barks out a laugh. “Do not apologize for that. Just wasn’t expecting it.” He sits all the way up, adjusting his softening dick and re-fastening his pants. “So…that’s how you give a blowjob. Any questions?”

There’s an awkward silence as you contemplate, ultimately deciding to ask. I mean, you’d just performed oral sex on him; he could answer a measly personal question. 

“When you said you wanted me for so long…did you mean that? Or were you just saying it?”

Eddie’s gaze is suddenly glued to the van floor. “Look, you’re with Mark now. I can’t…”

“Did. You. Mean. It?” You cross your arms over your chest, waiting for his response. 

He relents after a moment. “Yes, I meant it. I’ve had this big, stupid crush on you, but I kept making excuses not to ask you out, and then you got with Mark—”

You cut his rant short with a clumsy kiss, noses hitting each other as you press your lips to his. You stumble a bit and he catches you, bringing his hands to your hips. “I have a big, stupid crush on you, too,” you admit, “but I figured you would’ve asked me out if you felt the same way.”

This time, Eddie kisses you, soft and sweet. “I can taste myself on your lips,” he murmurs into you. One finger grazes your pants button. “Do me a favor?”

“Yes, I’ll cancel with Mark,” you say, teasing but truthful. 

“I mean, you fuckin’ better,” he laughs, but he shakes his head. “Nah, I need you to lie down f’me.”

Your brow creases. “Why?”

“A gentleman always returns the favor.”

--

[miimo96]

Thoughts on My Adventures with Superman S2 FINALE

This has me kinda scared because Normally when this happens, it usually means 2 thing's; 1 this is either going to be Very long episode or 2, Somebody's going to die, and with the way the creator's have been teasing us with Tweets about Kara's demise, I'm guessing it's the ladder, and if that's the case WTF DC

Also if had a nickel for everytime that a Giant spaceship threatened to Destroy Earth as a way to Rebuild krypton in a Superman story, I'd have 2 nickels, which isn't alot, but it's weird that it's happened twice

So lemme get this straight, this Lex is smart enough to build the parasite suit, have a fail safe for that, is able to frame Superman gaining Millions of followers and government access, infuse Kryptonite to Kryptonian built robots, but isn't smart enough to come up with a fail safe when said robots get hacked!?....yeah I call Bullshit

Hell yeah the Cavalry's here! oh, and Sam too I guess whatever, listen the FANS might've forgiven your ass for abandoning lois 6 episodes ago, but I sure as hell don't, in all seriousnes tho I am glad he got some sort of character development regarding his relationship with Superman, seeing it as how he is now trying to help him instead of ya know, Trying to Kill him 😅 btw I kinda feel stupid for asking myself how the heck they turned invisible, only to realize they were actually holding on to Only the character who Can turn invisible Lol 😅😅 also did anyone else immediately thought've Lobo when he said the Main man, no, just me

Wow I can't belive they actually gave Kara the Winter soldier treatment, from the brainwashing, Down to him effing reactivating it like freakin Zemo, Well looks like Clark's gonna have to fight his cousin again, hopefully he doesn't end up like last time, or if not maybe Jimmy can talk some sense into her, Seeing as how it was seeing a picture of Jimmy which resulted in her breaking free from Brainiacs control, maybe this where he can finally confesses his feelings for her, Omg I would love that ^w^

Wait you're telling me Brainiac Did it, that he's the reason why krypton exploded, that HE Killed clarks and Kara's parents!? Oh nah Brainiac gotta die now, also has anyone else how similar he is to Zod, from his reasoning, to his personality, to even this whole effing scenario, like This is some shit Zod would've done, and it's funny because I was actually thinking about this not to long ago about how we technically don't need Zod in this show because Brainiac fits that role perfectly, especially with how he's been depicted this season, Omg if this was an intentional Detail on their part, then it's official, this show never ceases to Amaze me

Uh oh scary Kara's back, Damn it Brainiac why you gotta be such a Bitch; Also it may be nothing, but the way those missiles were moving kinda reminded of the way Darksides Omega beams would move, which got me thinking about something; What if Kryptons technology is possibly made from Apocalypse

This shot is ABSOLUTELY Beautiful; from the colors, to the camera work, to even the Symbolism between him and the Sun, everything was just Screams Superman

Tbh out of all the anime tropes they've done this season, I gotta say Talk no jutsu the 1 was NOT expecting them pull, and ya know what, I'm actually kinda glad they did, because it just fits Superman's MO; Superman has always been represented for kindness not his strength, like even if you've done him dirty, he'll still always choose to help you because that's just who he is, hes the person who just wants to help, he'll carry the weight of the world on his shoulders, he's the person who will try to stop a threat with his words before having to result to violence, he's the Man of Steel not because of what he can do, but because of who he is and always will be, hence why this trope works perfectly for him, it's the Perfect representation of what he embodies, Compassion, That's what makes him Superman

Ok I have a few things regarding this scene, 1st off i Absolutely love my 2 star children, 2nd of all Kara don't throw him into the sun, that's how make Nuclear man 😂 3rd of all, in all honesty, I was not worried 1 bit when Kara got shot mainly for 2 reasons; 1 even tho she was clearly shot by Kryptonite, they were directly near the sun and if I remember correctly, the Sun is what gives them their power, granting them the abilities to heal from critical wounds as well as even more strength, and because 2, kryptonians have invulnerable skin meaning she won't burn up from the sun even if she falls into it, all in all touching scene but No stakes

Kara's lighting's, Kryptonite Saber, Clean animation, Super sayian references!? OMG this episode is AMAZINGGG!! Also Kara's lighting's Red!? Ngl but I SWEAR I thought it was gonna be yellow, not because it would only go good with her hair, but because it in my opinion, it just fits her better, plus we did see kinda of it Start to spark in her fight against Brainiac 2 episodes ago, and since Clark's is blue it would only just made sense for hers to be yellow, hopefully maybe it can like evolve in season 3 or something, don't get wrong I like the Red but in my opinion, it just feels like a missed opportunity, In other News

Eff yeah Brainiac's Dead! Be honest, how many of you actually thought kara was dead after that scene, because my heart immediately stopped after she passed out 😅

Also can we talk about how Amazing Kara's suit looks, like Omg this Has to be one of the best desings I've seen, I just love everything about it from the colors to the boots all the way to especially the Cape, like I just love how it looks like a scarf UwU

AH siblings being siblings 😊 btw Love how he still has the shirt from when he was kid, Such a full circle moment, also when it comes to Kara's, this Kara, the kara from injustice 2, the CW show and even The FLASH movie are All of my favorite Kara's, every single one of them EXPECT and I can't believe I'm saying this, the 1 from the DCAU, like I'm sorry but in my opinion she was just too much of a hot head, and she barely had any screen time in Justice league, like I don't understand how did we stray so far from God, also she was incredibly weaker when it came to her cousin, this 1 on the other hand can slap her cousin around like it was a normal Tuesday, So yeah that's my Hot take come at me In the comments I dare you

Well well well looks like instead of mommy dosen't need you anymore, it's more like We don't need Mommy anymore, hell yeah Lex's finally going to be the Villain next season and I soo can't wait, oh and what's this, it looks like slade is gonna be his right hand now, oh yeah Slex is Definitely becoming cannon

🎵 Super rizz, Super rizz, here comes Clark's Super rizz 🎵

And with that another amazing end to another amazing series, Overall this season was freakin Epic, from the animation, to the music, to the character designs minus the robots, everything was just epic, from Start to finish; only thing to do Now is wait for season 3, but I wanna know you're thoughts, What did YOU think of season 2, and what was your favorite episode or moment from this series, comment or just leave a like if ya enjoyed this Thoughts on series, and lemme know if I should do more of this, Anyway I'mma head out because this took a while for me to write and I'm feeling kinda burnt out, Anyway yeah thank you for reading and I can't wait to see you again in S3, and with that, Superman Saturday's has come to an end, well, for now anyway ^^;

[beiasluv]

hey!! i was thinking maybe a neteyam x y/n where he keeps finding her in compromising situations with aonung or another guy? obviously just misunderstandings but id like to see him jealous, yk maybe sad (not saying anything to her, moping, etc) until he kind of explotes…😁up to you, thanks x

jealous neteyam

a/n: YASS, feel free to cancel me because I love jealous trope. anyways, guys, communication is the key to relationships but this is just for entertainment purposes / enjoy🤍

masterlist

of all the times that neteyam sees you, it always has to be the worst time possible.

falling on top of ao’nung? checked. patching his face up? checked. him stabling you by your waist? checked. the list just goes on and on

“oh my goodness, i- i am so sorry, let me help you,” you fell upon the teal metkayina, face landing on his chest.

“um- sorry,” he pushed himself off the ground reaching for your waist by his hands.

of course, he didn’t think anything of it, until it started reoccurring many times

what about the time when you were straddling a metkayina boy on his lap? isn’t that obvious?

how about when you swam off into the ocean with him? he felt his heart shattered into a million pieces right at the beach.

if that’s not enough, what about the time when he heard your heavenly voices with another guy in the marui. he knew what those voices were about, he wasn’t born yesterday

unfortunately to you, neteyam started acting differently

he seemed to distance himself…? it’s weird how he doesn’t sit next to you while eating anymore…or, or what about him not cuddling before bedtime?

it broke your heart, what have you done wrong? so you took matters in your hand

“nete, love, you okay?” your soft hand reached for his chin.

“yes, i am fine, i am going to bed, night,” and without a look towards your direction, the lights flickered off.

he stopped hugging you, hell, he even stopped kissing you

but he’ll never miss a chance to show his dominance while other people are around. will definitely snake an arm around your waist.

that’s the only time you’ve ever felt his warmth in many months

the only time he’ll talk to you is when there’s other guy around

“excuse us, we have something planned today, let’s go, y/n,” he grabbed your hand and left the confused metkayina alone.

of course, there wasn’t a word spilled during the walk back to your marui. he didn’t even took an effort to look you in the eyes, don’t even expect a word from his mouth.

at the marui is all the same, he left you alone, in your shared bed, consumed by your thoughts

and this pain just need another thorn to make it worst

“pl- please, y/n, stop,” a new voice rung though his twitching ears

“hold still, it will hurt a little,” a familiar tune hit his ears.

“plea- please, make it quick”

you yearn for his touch everyday, and as if faith wasn’t on your sad, he distanced himself day by day

his eyes doesn’t sparkle like it used to, his touch doesn’t spark against your skin like it used to.

he always come home late with those darkened under eyes. did he stayed with his brother to escape the pain with you?

you see every time he sighed to himself while taking to you. is he bored of you?

how can he leave you? after all the things you’ve been through together? of course, he would leave you, right…?

he stopped holding your hand, stopped holding your waist, no more intertwining tails.

what about the vows you’ve made? did they mattered after all?

you tired your best to fill this love everyday, but it’s draining you to fill it by yourself

“love you, neteyam, stay safe,” you kissed his cheek as he pulled away quickly.

“love you too,” he said quietly.

“say it like you mean it”

“what?”

“say it like you really mean it, i know you don’t love me anymore,” you fought back the tears in your eyes.

“how do you know i don’t love you?!”

“because you’ve been acting like one big prick!” a year fell down your cheek. “i don’t even know if you want me anymore, you wanted to unmate me, right?” you’ve met with a silence in his face, and your heart dropped a thousand miles.

“so i am right, huh?” “you wanted to unmate me?”

“NO, NOT NOW, NOT EVER I WANTED THAT, YOU ARE THE WRONG IN THIS!”

“THEN WHAT HAVE I DONE TO MAKE YOU HEARTLESS LIKE THIS? this is not the man I’ve mated with under eywa that night!”

“DO NOT THINK I AM STUPID, I SAW YOU WITH AO’NUNG AND OTHER GUYS, THE WAY YOU GUYS ARE LOOKING AT EACH OTHER, THE GAMES YOU GUYS ARE PLAYING BEHIND MY BACK!”

“wh- what are you talking about?” a whimper escaped your lips.

“do not act innocent, you are cheating on my behind my back!” he cried and gripped his arm so tight that it formed a bruise on his arms.

“i have never! i would never do something like that”

“then why do i keep seeing you on top of him, on him, and your voices while you are doing the deed with him?”

“what deed?” you whimpered, his hands punching the wall, sending a tremble down your spine. “yo- you must have misunderstood the situation”

“oh, have i?”

“i fell on top of him, and i offered to patch up his wounds for him,” you realized how stupid you guys were.

“what?”

“you thought i was having sex with him? how dare you, i don’t even think his teal skins are as beautiful as yours,” you held him in your embrace.

“w- what? i am such a prick,” he punched himself in the face.

“no, no, no, stop, please,” his hands find their comfort in yours

“i am so stupid! i am the worst mate you could ever ask for!”

“you are the only mate i ever have”

“please, please, please…forgive me…”

and the rest was history 🥺

neteyam is the sweetest thing you can ever have but don’t ever make him misunderstand things again, because is he sad SAD

love ya’ll take care of yourselves 🤍 go touch some grass 😳

@rosaryos / @bumblinbumblvee / @nyotamalfoy / @fangirl-2610 / @astablacksword / @lokisblueskin

[zzthekaiju]

Geez...

Call this whining, but now that Wingard's out of the director's seat (here's hoping they either get Dougherty back in the saddle OR someone like Guillermo del Toro on the line), I've been noticing a LOT of people wanting the next Godzilla movie to basically be "Godzilla gets fed up with humanity and turns on us all". And I really don't want that for a number of reasons (reinforces the bias against reptiles, been done before a million times, personal bias, etc.), particularly one specific detail...

It renders Serizawa's sacrifice, and the overarching themes of coexistence in the Monsterverse, entirely pointless.

That heart-tugging scene of him putting the fate of the world and its number one guardian above his own, of him making one last connection with the beast that inspired him, that moment they lock eyes before he gives his life to save him...it all goes down the drain if the ultimate endgame of the Monsterverse is Godzilla becoming our greatest threat when the OH SO PERFECT AND SQUEAKY-CLEAN APE gets to be the hero all the time (don't get me wrong, I love this version of Kong, but it just feeds into the "mammal good, reptile bad" trope I despise so much). Everything Serizawa and Monarch stood for as a whole ends up being for nothing if that's how it all goes down. And really, we've now done the whole "Godzilla gets pissed at us because of the actions of a few" thing with the Mechagodzilla situation.

NOW, I'm not saying Godzilla needs to be totally spotless. Absolutely not. I'm fine with him being kind of a jerk at this point...but what if he changed? What if, instead of just keeping him that way...we saw him develop? Y'know? As a character? Which is what he very much is, and NOT some glorified plot device?

Listen, making our relationship with Godzilla the centerpiece of the conflict isn't a bad idea. Not at all, as a matter of fact. A good way around it could be that the new monster he has to defeat is Hedorah, or a monster very much like Hedorah (considering the involvement of Yoshimitsu Banno, it feels inevitable). A horror conceived by our hubris and lack of care for the Earth. And yeah, Godzilla would be really angry at us...but he could also be tired. Overwhelmed. Borderline depressed at his Sisyphean life of having to undo every mistake we make. Maybe the real conflict could be him trying to find something, anything that makes his job worth it and not him not feel completely out of place in a world that's changed so much in the centuries he's been dormant. Maybe Monarch and/or a new cast of humans could help show the Big G that we appreciate him. They already teased this with how he acts around the Roman Coliseum (the novel confirms that he's homesick, awww), so why not give him that sort of emotional arc like they did for Kong? Maybe even give him more than just one scene with him and Mothra together, and show why their relationship works so well, ESPECIALLY when Big G's having a crisis! A unique jerk-to-nice-guy plot! I don't know, something that doesn't begin and end with him doing nothing but destroy things. That was cool for a while, but we need to get out of this "Godzilla can't be relatable because reptile" bunk that I have no doubt the higher-ups think. Heck, give him that son that Wingard clearly wanted to give him. Maybe the twist is that Little G absolutely adores humans and convinces his old man that they aren't so bad. That would work amazing! The possibilities are endless!

That, or they could go with my pitch for a "Godzilla X Mothra" movie. Please...?

I'm kidding, Twitter user Riamus came up with a WAY better premise, to be honest.

[onlyhereforangst]

I don’t go here but you’ve mentioned chenford isn’t great. Do I know what Chenford is? No. Do I still know they broke up? Yes.

Pls share the fandom lore and ur thots 🎤

ok so.

chenford, or lucy chen & tim bradford- former rookie & training officer, respectively. the actual characters have been written so fucking phenomenally i barely have words (she says as if she isn’t about to just. go off). they have managed to truly incorporate authentic human flaws and emotions and decision-making into these characters which have, across six seasons, played out for gorgeous individual & paired character arcs. like they are GREAT are they in a great spot? no. but they are FANTASTIC.

now.

if you were to ask the fandom that same question. excuse me while i die laughing 💀 unfortunately the strikes really helped a large majority of the chenford fandom to twist canon into barely recognizable fanon and now that canon is back and progressing as it absolutely narratively should people are losing their gd minds. deactivating accounts, claiming their done with the show, touting that they’ve been manipulated a bold face lie if you have critical thinking skills but i digress. there’s a select few of us having the time of our damn lives, feeling blessed to have such good writing on a procedural????? of all things. unheard of. truly.

so yeah the fandom is Something because who doesn't enjoy a feast of delicious angst? i mean lucy cannot stop inserting herself into every situation, even her boyfriend who has repeatedly asked her to not because he is trying to protect her (this is it's own separate problem) but literally flinging yourself around outright screaming at your significant other is just. not it. i speak from experience 💀 this is not how you get someone to healthily tell you what's bothering them to the point of tears multiple times. its like if lucy isn't the default hero she just cannot handle? its insane and beautiful because its her tragic flaw coming to a glorious, screeching climax. AND meanwhile??? so is tim's!!!! his loyalty to a tragic fault got him in a bind and he doesn't know what to do and can't handle and thinks protecting the one he loves by shutting her out is the way to be most loyal to HER because suddenly he doesn't feel he deserves her so he's going to break his own heart since lucy was too polite to do it.

anyways this storyline has been blessedly built up with undertones and crumbs since literally the end of season 4 and the fandom acts like it was a total blindside. lmao honeys. have you watched the show??? plus its been teased in interviews for over a year i can't 😭

both characters have a LOT of growing and self-discovery to happen individually before they can even begin to consider being in a relationship. not when that relationship had been built on a foundation of subordinate-superior. that *shockingly* doesn't equate to a romantic relationship of equals and guess what?! it had its ramifications!!! miscommunication trope my beloved you slayed.

ok that was surely more than you wanted seek but a million voice notes to the like 2 people that have been calling this storyline with me since the beginning and the vibrating still isn't out of my system!!! cheers to the hate anons i'm sure to get if anyone takes the time to read this 🍻

[xiaoluclair]

Lestappen for ship ask meme?

dawg u did NOT. okay okay, how Thought are we talking here bc. Yeah .

but… thing Is i've done a million quadrabajilion rambles on this site already.... how much more can i do i hear exactly 0.012 people ask. answer:

A Lot.

firstly, the tropes. the dynamics. the Classics u know the ones. ROLL CALL, we got: enemies to tentative acquaintances to friends to lovers, idiots in hate to idiots in love we got red and blue we got 2 sides of the same coin, he fell first i fell harder, slow burn slug burn sloth burn, the opposite of love is not hate it is indifference, he is more myself than i am, whatever our soles are made of his and mine are the same, we have fucking GOT.

secondly, the fukin. the pure Development??? of their relationship like im screaming into my hands rn no lie i fucking Love their development. the amount of Respect that exists between them, breathes like a living thing bc are you surprised by the pace of charles today? uh.. not really (internally: bitch??? why tf wd i be- ) he's a naturally skilled driver. that's always something you can admire. who do you think will win the wdc this year? i think max. i know how strong he is. (😃🔫)

thirdly, the History. they could fill libraries with their shared past, thoughts about each other (prbly more sharl about max, that boy deffo knows a Hate Boner), races, inchidents (WHICH btw max and charles both saying 'we've had moments' - as in plural???? hello????? HELLO-- ) and they talk about it to, they say in the end, we have been doing this for so long and i want to beat him as much as he wants to beat me. that's the way it is and the way it has always been. which also btW fits nicely into pt2 of Respect and that's on part four-

FOURTHLY, yknow when u try to hold convo with some1 n they just. Lack. like, ur tryna have a Good Time but its like chucking micropipettes of water at the goddamn sahara. yeah that = Sucks. Then we have maxnsharl: This Post. 'we were once in the round of free practice. the drivers were rolling the engines. but charles and max found themselves close together, began to push and almost focused, risking throwing each other out-' . and my tags: #the thought of them always pushing each other#always meeting one another move for move mind for mind#they Wanted competition they Found it in each other#and here it’s that Fire that Spark that Flame that PeePoo Racer Brain#they fanned that in each other…

fifthly, the Spec. the goddamn Spec. spectrum, if you will. how they go from ruthless on track, not an inch given bc they don't Do that, they're not Like that. and then they go from That to licheral heart eyes soft looks tender touch. softwiltedcabbage dot img as i Love to say bc it's True.

and sixthly, finally, climactically before eye fill an entire library: the SEX. dawg.. have you Seen. have u Ascended. bc i have . illegal.

.

seventhly i hate them theyre actually the worst ship on the grid. gross disgusting misaligned. votes for taken out back and shot: 1 (tumblr user xiaoluclair).

[yeets myself before i live the rest of my life answering this ask]

[alertarchitect]

So, I've been watching a lot of random stuff on YouTube lately, but the two big things are videos about the 3DS (and modding it bc fuck Nintendo's stance on game preservation, i.e. ignoring it entirely) and Adventure Time lore videos. Now, mind you, I've never watched Adventure Time. When it started, I was at the age of being just baaaarely too old to be a part of its target demographic, and too young to look past that and enjoy it anyway because I had that immature mindset of "If it's for kids 1-2 grades behind me in school, I can't like it!"

However, learning about Adventure Time in general, and Prismo in particular, has helped me realize what one of my favorite... tropes, I guess, in fiction is. I don't know the name for it, but when you have a phenomenally powerful being, like a deity or Prismo, that can do anything they want with their power - but they just also have this random mundane hobby, like Prismo and his pickles. Bonus points if they actively refuse to use their powers to participate in said hobby, and insist on doing it how a normal mortal would.

On the surface, it seems like a simple thing - humanize the inhumanly powerful cosmic being by giving them this little mundane quirk that the audience can relate to. But it has the potential to serve your narrative and character development amazingly if done well. Maybe this deity is wise in addition to being powerful, and forcing themselves to do their hobby the normal way is their method for keeping the mortal perspective in mind for when they make big decisions. Maybe your story begins before they have the hobby, and the audience learns they do it to remember and/or honor an old friend or mentor from centuries ago.

It's not just a fun quirk, though admittedly it can be that as well, it's something that can give a glimpse into the complexities of a character who is centuries, millennia, or hell, possibly even millions of years old. And I love it!

[purpurussy]

id love to know more about your dinok au <333

thank you for asking <3 + sorry for responding to this a little late! i'm having trouble formulating my thoughts on it atm

my concept is that dan never found phil's channel, never met him, went to uni and married a girl he met there, and became a somewhat unsuccessful legal professional because he fucking hates his job. the vibe for him is that he kinda just let life drag him along, without really allowing himself to actually Live, and now he's in too deep to just come out as gay... like he's experiencing some insane cognitive dissonance dshshglk. coping through denial+alcohol has been working okay for him so far but now his career is flopping heavily and his marriage is falling apart bc he doesn't want kids (obviously) and his wife starting to suspect something is up. he meets phil through a mutual friend who he plays final fantasy with, they start talking via discord and then it's like "but wait what's this? my god it's manic pixie dream girl phil lester with a steel chair"

it's very angsty, slow burn, will they/won't they. but trust that phil is gonna see this sopping wet mess of a man and say "i can fix him" (and then dan will fix himself because i don't like that trope <3 but he needs phil to help him see that he can live his truth and be happy yk)

it's kinda hard to write because it's a bit depressing... i'm finally getting to the part where they meet irl and things start to turn around, but so far it's just been dan drinking to cope and feeling lonely :( i'm trying to go back and edit some humor into it to make it less upsetting to read lmfao. although it's fun to create a contrast between how bad dan's life fucking sucks and how much joy and whimsy he finds in talking to phil <3 it's also just really hard to write denial/cognitive dissonance if that makes sense? there's a lot to explore psychologically. and also I don't want to frame dan's beard wife as an antagonist, I feel like it would be very easy to demonize her but she's not to blame for this mess ykwim. like i don't want dan to be a "my bitch wife" kinda guy DSGSHGKG he's just scared. and the story is supposed to be about him being brave and healing, and realizing that a better life is possible. like he is his own antagonist dslskfghgjkl

I'm also enjoying the concept of the timeline roughly following their irl 2009 timeline. like they start talking around dan's 33rd birthday, meet on october 19th etc. i like the idea of some things being kinda constants even in a different timeline

anyway they just voice chat for a while and get to know each other without actually even knowing what the other looks like. and they lowkey fall in love even before they've even seen each other. so here is them seeing pics of each other for the first time and dying in a tragic double penis explosion incident

(earlier on phil tried to be like "why are you gay? you are gay." but dan just got scared and dodged the question so now he's not even out to phil . can you believe. that's gonna be real awkward when they start making out sloppy style 3 chapters later)

(also i just realized i've written [dan] like a million times while writing this LMAO that did not actually click for me until now)

sorry for rambling for ages! i'm so tired atm so i can't really be coherent lmao.

i really wanna post this once it's done, but i'm worried it'll be too sad and angsty at the beginning and people won't be into it 😭 i'm probably not doing a good job selling this but it'll be okay i promise

also shoutout to the people who helped me brainstorm dan's username! i havent decided yet but i like the idea of him picking something generic at first, and then changing it to something more meaningful as he goes on his little journey of self-discovery

[lemonluvgirl]

5. What’s a fic idea you’ve had that you will never write?

19. Give us a small teaser from one of your WIPs.

:D

5. Ok, so the most outrageous fic idea I've ever had has been an arranged marriage polygamist fic. I know it's been done before by other authors but I wanted to do it a little differently. I had the idea of Katniss being the one with multiple husbands instead of the usual trope where Peeta is the one with multiple wives and Katniss is one of them. I actually ended up not pursuing the idea because I was afraid there might be backlash and a lot of anger if I did write it.

19 . Here's an excerpt from a future chapter of Golden Cages that I'm tinkering with.

“Most people are just a waste of space. But luckily that’s not true in your case, Brainless. You’re just tolerable enough to justify the oxygen you use up on a daily basis.” Johanna proclaims.

“Your kind words warm my heart, Jo. They really do.” I joke sarcastically. 

“Yeah well, don’t get used to it. I’m only cutting you a break seeing as how you’re mentally unstable and all.” 

“Noted,” I say with a nod.  

“But seriously. Go get laid. Just get back on the fucking horse already. You’ll feel much better when you realize the world isn’t going to end just because you got off.” 

“Cut it out with that. It's not funny.” 

“I’m not trying to be funny. I’m trying to help. Pick a guy and have at it. Flip a coin between your two wannabe boyfriends, or hell, just close your eyes and spin in a circle in the middle of the mess hall with your hand out. Whoever you land on, take him back to our room and make him forget his middle name. Or her middle name, you know, no judgment.” 

“How many times do I have to tell you? I don’t want to have sex with anyone. At all.” 

“Sure, sure. Whatever you say.” Johanna replies dismissively and winks. 

“You’re an idiot.” 

“You love me though.” 

“Not in a million years.” 

“You and me Brainless, we could have set all of Panem on fire with our love.” She jokes with a surprisingly accurate imitation of Finnick’s seductive purr and spot on wiggle of her eyebrows. Finnick laughs loudly when he sees this and Deen whistles. 

“Oh, god, please make it stop.” I plead with my hands over my eyes. They can be such juveniles when they want to be. 

“That would have incited a rebellion of a whole different kind.” Finnick says with a wide grin. 

“Sure, a rebellion in every guy’s shorts across the entire country,” Deen chimes in almost under his breath and Finnick snickers behind his hand. 

“Degenerates! All of you! I have no idea why I bother!” I exclaim angrily but I can’t suppress my grin entirely.

[befuddledcinnamonroll]

Thanks to Shadow, I've been thinking a lot about death and forgiveness.

We've all seen the redemption via death trope a million times. It's really popular. It's also a shortcut, and the easy way out.

To be fair, there's plenty of times it makes narrative sense or helps a story flow better. No one would have been as hyped about Star Wars if Darth Vader survived at the end, and was all "welp, guess I have to start my apology tour for all the mass murder!".

But there are also plenty of times it's done because trying to plan out what it would take for someone to stick around and actually earn redemption is a whole lot harder. Because true redemption takes a hell of a lot of work.

(Side note: the She-Ra reboot has some amazing examples of both types - people working for redemption, and the narcissist where it totally makes sense for her character to do a flashy self-sacrifice and peace out).

But regardless of fictional use, what I find funny is that people will take this concept and try to apply it to real life. In a "I don't have to do the work if I die" kind of way.

You see it all the time, people who have disowned children or been abusive, on their deathbeds, suddenly just wracked with the need for forgiveness. And a lot of the time they send out their flying monkeys, who repeat the common refrains. "They're sorry. They just want some peace before the end. They're dying. How can you deny them this?"

As if death is really some get-out-of-jail free card. As if that person hasn't had their entire life to seek help for their issues, to make a genuine apology, to accept that they may never be forgiven but to work on being better anyway, to make authentic amends.

(And yeah, a lot of these people experienced their own trauma and abuse. But that is an explanation, not an excuse. In the end we are all responsible for our actions. And maybe sometimes we can't overcome our pasts, but then you don't get to ask for absolution from others).

Which brings me to Dan's father. Despite the fictional setting, those household dynamics were incredibly real.

And I am glad that Dan did not forgive him.

I know people love to say that we forgive for our own sake, but I think for our own sake it's more about letting go, and not letting the pain and anger rule our lives.

But that doesn't have to be forgiveness. Not if you don't want to. Not when you were harmed. And especially not when they so often wait until the last minute, play the death hand, and sit back and wait for you to do the work.

I want Dan to be able to move on and find support and community and love. But he gets to do it in his own time. His father didn't make an effort while he was living. He's owed nothing in death.