#i know this might sound entitled and assholeish

[an-attempted-poet]

hello this is a rant/vent abt my final, you can ignore it

okay. my spanish teacher is amazing, she’s great at her job and is super good abt my accommodations-she’s fantastic. absolutely no hate to her whatsoever.

but. i have auditory processing issues. and they’re bad. bad to the point that on average if im not looking at you and face to face, i will not understand what you’re saying to me. bad to the point that my friends are so used to having to repeat things that sometimes they just say it twice without me having to ask. bad to the point that (and this is important) i cant listen to podcasts or anything like that (not music) without a transcript because i will hear it, yeah i can hear it, but fuck if i know what its saying.

so. please. for fucks sake. don’t give me a 6 minute long listening exercise that you can only listen to once followed by 15 questions.

that would be hard in english, but it was damn near impossible for me to do in spanish.

and i asked for a transcript, not from my teacher but from the guy who was monitoring my test (i take them in different classes) because i was not told in advance that i would be given this part of the test. and if i had known i would have asked a week ago.

and he said he didn’t want to call and ask bc it would be disruptive. yes i agree with that and im sorry but also, i need my accommodations. i dont just have them for fun. so we can find a non disruptive way to call the class, but i need to know if i can have that transcript, and guess what?

i can’t. bc it doesn’t exist.

so i’m like. hm, 80? 90% sure i failed that part.

*please note i take my spanish final in a different classroom bc i use papers and other things and it’s so the rest of the class doesn’t get weird abt it and ask why i get it and they don’t (happens a shockingly large amount of times)

[nyxabird]

What I want from Pokemon Sword/Shield

What I hope for in Pokemon Sword/Shield. I thought about making this a video, and I might still, but it’s so long that I thought a list here would be better to start with at least.

I know a lot of people are doing videos like this, where they're saying "this is what I'd love to see or not see in Pokemon Sword/Shield", but I'd honestly like to throw my opinion out there, too. There's so much we're hoping from in these games, and some of the points I think of I haven't seen other people address at all. And of course, I just have my own things that would make the games more fun for me, so. In no real order, here's what I hope for in Pokemon Sword and Shield.

1. No Fire/Fighting Starter.

Don't make Scorbunny fighting. Don't make Scorbunny fighting. For the love of god, DON'T MAKE SCORBUNNY FIGHTING.

Look. I like most of the starters overall, and both Chimchar and Torchic are some I think are really good, personally. But unlike the other two, Fire has just gotten this habit of dropping into fighting as its sub-type, and quite frankly that's just boring at this point. Blaziken, Infernape, and Emboar, all one after another, were just too much. They did REALLY good subverting this with the Fire/Psychic starter of Delphox, and while I don't personally care for it, I like the fact that Incineroar was Fire/Dark, even though its theme could have so easily been dropped into fighting.

Make it anything else. Literally anything else. No one cares what its other type is, or if it'll even have another type, as long as it ISN'T. FIGHTING. The little bandage on its face is making us worried, but with Inceniroar you proved you could have a fighting-styled theme without actually being fighting type. Please, do that again.

I, too, will accept literally any type match but Fire/Fighting. Though if I could personally choose, I'd ask for Fairy or Dark again. It'd be nice to have a Fire/Dark I actually really like.

2. No shiny locking.

Nintendo has picked up this habit of making legendaries, especially the cover Pokemon, impossible to roll as shiny.  Basically, they're hard-coded so that when you encounter them, they cannot be shiny. That needs to stop. Just... yeah. Don't do that. Stop doing that. That's really all there is to it. It's a bad thing you're doing and you need to quit. It's literally MORE work to do for no reason. Just stop it.

3. Keep easier ways to find shinies.

Easy is a bit of a misnomer, because there's no way to easily get a shiny, no matter what anyone says. But there are ways to make it easIER, and I think that needs to be kept. Whether it's chain-catching like in Pokemon Let's Go or something else, give us a way that's actually possible to do to get shinies. Do not bring back that stupid "pick the right shaking grass when all of them are two pixels different" minigame. That's a BAD WAY to do it. Give us a way, and give us a way that actually can work, not make us lose our progress because we don't have eyes like eagles.

4. No motion controls.

Now, I don't think Pokemon Let's Go had a bad catching mechanic... IF the game was in handheld mode. The idea of being able to catch Pokemon without wearing down my team was actually really good, and it was something I liked a lot. I did miss being able to battle wild Pokemon and make them easier to catch, but if the Let's Go catching mechanic comes back I won't mind...

IF it works like it does in handheld mode. Docked mode was AWFUL. There's no ifs, ands, or buts, it was just badly. Programmed. No one liked it. No one enjoyed it. It was never consistent and often times was completely opposite to whatever you wanted to do.

5. Pokemon that follow you.

Like in the Johto remakes or Pokemon Let's Go, let your Pokemon follow you. We know you can do it. You actually DID do it in the Alola games, because there's data of every single Pokemon model with walk and run cycles on the cartritage that you just never actually let us access, so don't try to claim this isn't something you can't do. On top of that, the Switch is way bigger than the 3DS' carts. You have room. You have the skill. Give it to us.

6. New Eeveelutions.

Please, please, PLEASE. Give us new 'eons. It's been way too long without getting new Eevee forms, and you have so many types you can still make it from. Give us SOMETHING. ANYTHING. You're creative, you can come up with various ways to do stuff. What about a Steel-type that evolves when you level it up holding a Metal Coat? Or a Fighting-type that evolves if you get it to a certain level? Just give us SOMETHING.

Me, personally, I'd love to see a Dragon-type, Poison-type, or Ground-type Eeveelution, because I'm always short on those types and I think they'd be awesome.

7. Bring back Mega Evolutions and Z-Moves.

They're cool, they're fun, and they make things more interesting. I've heard people complain about how it ruins competitive battling because it's unpredictable, to which I say "Why is your competitive battling completely predictable? That sounds boring and not actually competitive if you can plug in a formula and have it work." Some people say that it makes the game too easy, to which I say "Then stop using them." It's the same as people complaining there's difficulty levels in games; you think the easy mode is too easy for you, then just don't play on the easy mode. If you think Z-Moves or Mega Evolution make the game too easy for you, then just don't use them. No one's forcing you to, and taking away something other people enjoy because you have no self-control over not using them is just really rude. I mean, no one says the magic system in Dark Souls makes the game too easy, so that needs to be removed!

...actually, there probably are people who say that, depressingly enough.

Anyway. For me, I love that I can make my Pokemon feel super powerful for a moment, or just use Z-Move to skip over a specific trainer or specific Pokemon that I just don't want to deal with. It gives you options on how to handle your own game and lets you balance your own difficulty for it, which is what all the best games do. And let's not forget the core, most basic reason: they're just FUN.

8. Skippable cutscenes.

It's 2019. How do you not have this yet? Some people want to replay the game. Some people don't care about the story. Some people just want to get to a certain part. It doesn't matter. What matters is that every single cutscene in your game that doesn't require a vital decision -- and don't try to be dishonest, nothing but the opening cutscene has any actual decisions, they're all fake ones to make you feel like you're actually having an effect -- should be skippable. Straight out, out of the box. No ifs, ands, or buts.

9. No forced tutorial.

I've played Pokemon since Red and Blue. I know how Pokemon works. I know how to catch Pokemon. You're trying to teach a fish to swim.

I'm not against these tutorials. There are plenty of new people getting into Pokemon games every release, and they need it. No one doubts that. But there is absolutely no reason that these tutorials are MANDATORY. If the new people skip the tutorials, that's their own fault, not yours, and they can't complain about the bed they made for themselves. So please, for the love of god, don't torture the rest of us because some idiot might skip the tutorial and then get mad.

10. The Regional Pokedex is what matters.

Sun and Moon did this fantastically. Basically, this means that for things that require you to complete the Pokedex, like the Shiny Charm? Only the Pokemon that can be caught in the actual region count. You can still catch and register Pokemon that aren't in your Regional Pokedex, but you aren't required to in order to "complete" the Pokedex. That was something that was amazing in Sun/Moon and made the game NOT a painful, daunting slog to actually get things like the Shiny Charm in. Please do that again.

11. No HMs.

I sincerely doubt this'll be a problem, since none of the latest generation games had HMs, but this is still something that bears repeating. HMs are not fun. No one likes HMs. They're just irritating, pointless moves that get in your way and force you to either devote a slot or two in your party to a Pokemon you don't care for or trash the combat ability of the Pokemon you actually have. Whether it's Ride Pokemon or Secret Techniques or whatever... make it happen.

I, and I'm sure many other people, literally do not care if you just put a piece of plastic tape over a plot hole. If it means that we don't have to use HMs, every single one of us will ignore the giant gaping hole in space with nary a single comment.

12. Wild Pokemon that walk in the overworld.

This was, to me, the absolute best part of Pokemon Let's Go. Being able to see the Pokemon in the overworld not only makes it feel far more alive, but it makes actually hunting around a lot more enjoyable, too. This mechanic made caves FUN AGAIN. I literally HAD FUN in Mt. Moon and Rock Tunnel because of this. Those weren't fun when they were first released and every other cave after that has never been fun unless you packed hundreds of repels. Now? Caves are enjoyable because you can fight or dodge however you want, because you can SEE where things are.

13. Human Rivals.

Now I know this is a very controversial opinion, and if you don’t like that’s perfectly fine, but don’t try to insult me over it.

I hate rivals with nasty personalities that treat you like shit.

I want a rival that is actually tolerable and acts like a real person, not some entitled whiny manbaby bitch who's high on his own ego.

I will never understand how people seriously enjoyed people like Blue, who were just complete insufferable pricks. They often made me roll my eyes and ruined the experience because they were just so unrepentantly rude and assholeish, no matter what you did, and they never changed. Some people "love to hate" insufferable, intolerable assholes, I guess, and love to beat them down over and over. And if you do? Awesome! I’m glad to hear it.

But for me, they just detract from a game because they constantly have to go "Oh hey, you're that useless shitwad no one likes, hahaha let me treat you like piss on my shoe". Beating them gives you satisfaction, sure, but no matter what you do or how you win, all your interactions with them are negative. That satisfaction comes from "Hah hah, I beat up the dude who's rude to me", and that's just... to me, that doesn't stay satisfying. Eventually I just start getting angry that this shitheel won’t go away and leave me alone, because them being around isn’t fun anymore.

I don't necessarily want the rival to be your best friend or the nicest person in the world. I really liked people like Silver and Gladion, but that was because while they were assholes at the start, you saw them grow and change and become better and happier people as the game went on. Was Silver ever super chummy with you? Pft, hell no! Not even close! But that was okay, because you still saw him change into a dude who was actually tolerable and not stay as the prick with his head so far up his ass he was tasting breakfast. And that was awesome!

My favorite rivals, honestly? Are ones like Hau, who were your rivals but also your friends, so your interactions with them were positive and fun. My mood always skyrocketing whenever I talked to Hau because he was just so friendly and cute, and that’s what I found far, far more satisfying than some prick who’d come around to call me a worthless shithead.

Pokemon Rivals aren't like the big bad in games like Final Fantasy. You're stuck with them, you can't get away from them, and you're not solving some big super evil by getting rid of them and making yourself feel satisfied. You’re just having this asshole who’s being rude to you for literally no reason stalk you and refuse to let you get away.

That’s insanely creepy and nasty. You're just being BULLIED with rivals like that, and I genuinely cannot understand why people seem to love being bullied in their own game by an insufferable prick who's so drunk on their own ego they think they're Arceus' gift to the world. The satisfaction of beating them feels outweighed by the negative feelings you have of them constantly berating and putting you down.

Maybe it's just because I'm from a home life where I was constantly bullied and ridiculed by all of my cousins, but I just can't find that sort of thing enjoyable. It's part of why I don't replay the Kanto games anywhere near as much as I replay the other ones, despite Kanto being my home region. (I honestly thought PLG was better than the original because Blue wasn’t there to be an insufferable, entitled manbaby egotist)

If it were up to me, honestly, I'd let you pick your rival like you could pick your gender. One rival's the Hau-type, one rival's the Blue-type, and the one you don't pick doesn't show up in game. That way, everyone could have what they want. Barring that, I really, really don't want to see another rival that's completely inhuman because all they are is an entitled prick there to bully you. I don't care if it's like Silver or Gladion, where they're rude at first but become genuinely likeable later, or if it's like Hau where they're always nice. Just... give me an actual rival, not some guy's fragile and inflated ego wrapped in a human suit.

I genuinely have no idea how so many people think having a person who doesn’t treat you like you’re a piece of shit unworthy of life is so bad it can be considered a plague and something that needs rectifying.

14. Side games! But make them optional.

Give us more side stuff to do! Pokemon Contests, Pokeathelon, the Festival Plaza... The Battle Tower. These were all fun things to do. When they were OPTIONAL. I think we need stuff like the casino and Voltorb Flip, or an area like the Festival Plaza we can design, because those are actually fun things to do. But I also think they need to be completely skippable for people who don't want them. Forcing people into doing side-games is a sure-fire way to get that side-game hated, but making it available gives us so much more we can do. It'd sure make the post game more fun.

15. Character Customization.

Hair, eyes, skin. These should all be default customization options, either able to change very early on or able to pick at the start. Alola was pretty good at this. Do it again.

16. CLOTHES.

Clothes, clothes, clothes. For the love of god, give us clothes again. Not your shitty Pokemon Let's Go no-effort recolors your artist did while on his way home from work. Not the "two shirt models, two skirt models, and a pants model with recolors" thing you did Alola. Actual clothing. Dresses, different skirts, different pants. What about that big black coat-dress I got from Kalos? Or the boots? The hose? We know you can make these designs. Actually make them.

17. Pokeball Conversion.

Let us put caught Pokemon in a Pokeball different from what we caught in it. If we want to put our starter in a Luxury Ball, just let us spend one Luxury Ball and bam, do it! Overwrite the ball it's in now. It shouldn't really be that hard since you can outright edit IVs.

18. Secret Bases or the Underground!

Give us Secret Bases back! They were amazing and fun, and being able to make your own base -- especially a base your friend could download so they could fight you on your own time! Being able to buy and decorate, or place it randomly, was also amazing. Failing Secret Bases, give us back the Underground from Sinnoh where we could dig and find items and... well, yeah, make a base down there too.

Just give us some way to make our mark on the game world. Even better if we can set a fly-point there and put our own heal station in. That way, if there's a place we want to grind, well. We can just grind there, or if we needed a break because our Pokemon were getting battered. You don't have the make the furniture easy to get, but give us some way to make our own little spot we can get cozy in, rather than the house we'll never revisit because there's no reason to ever go back there.

19. A final area where the game doesn't cheat.

I breed Pokemon competitively. I breed until a Pokemon has the extact right IVs, the exact right nature, the exact right ability. I breed Egg Moves and everything else that would cover their types. And still, things like the Battle Tree are just an unfun, messy slogy for me. The main issue I have with it is that so many times, it seems like the game outright cheats. I can't tell you how many different teams I went in, only to find that a trainer early on had hard counters for every single member of my team. Once is circumstance, twice is happenstance, but three times is a pattern... and I had no less than ten. Different Pokemon, different team comps, different days, and still, I very regularly got hard-countered.

I don't care that these options are hard. By all means, keep them hard! They're meant to be. But stop cheating and making the AI pick out a hard-counter team to yours just because you're "doing too well". I've seen it in so many post-game Pokemons, and it really needs to stop.