#i know the tags are very long and not separated into different tags enough but in my defense the first time i tried to do all this i ran ou

[sacchiri]

Hellsing 2002 calendar illustration.

Ein wunderliche und erschröckliche Hystori von einem großen Wüttrich genant Dracole wayda Der do so ganz unkristenliche marrter hat angelegt die mensche, als mit spissen als auch die leut zu Tod geslyffen

A wondrous and frightening story about a great berserk called Dracula the voivode who inflicted such unchristian tortures such as with stakes and also dragged people to death

[springtyme]

Hi Sage! I was so happy when I saw you are gonna write for criminal minds! Can I request some soft smut with Spencer? Maybe his and reader’s first time together, they have to share a bed on a case or something like that. I love your writing so much and I would love to see how you’d write Spence ❤️ thank you for sharing your writing!!

𝐋𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐍𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐟𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 ♡

Thank you so much for the sweet words and the lovely request dear anon! ♡ I had such a good time writing this, and I can't wait to write more for Spencer!

Spencer Reid x afab!reader || Masterlist || Spencer playlist

summary: Having to share a room with one of your fellow BAU agents is not an uncommon occurrence, and that agent being Spencer is not new either. The two of you have roomed together on multiple occasions before, but all previous instances have been different from this one. In all those prior cases, you both had separate beds, but not this time.

word count: 7.3k

warning/tags: Smut! (18+, mdni!) Mutual pining. Friends/colleagues to lovers. Idiots in love. Slightly awkward. A hint of angst, but mostly just fluff. Nightmares. Wet dreams. Inexperienced (but not virgin) Spencer. Vaginal fingering. Unprotected p in v. Creampie. I haven’t had time to proofread so sorry if there’s any mistakes.

In many ways the room is about as ordinary as any small town hotel room can be. However, one aspect instantly catches your attention upon opening the door - the room only has one bed… 

As you step further into the room, you exchange a bewildered glance with Spencer, both unsure of how to proceed. It is a big bed, more than enough room for the both of you to be able to sleep comfortably next to each other, but despite how good of friends you and Spencer are, something about it feels weirdly intimate. 

Having to room with one of your fellow BAU agents on cases is not uncommon, and sharing a room with Spencer isn’t new either. The two of you have roomed together on multiple occasions before, but previous instances were distinct from this one. In all those prior times, you both had separate beds. 

“I, uhm… I can sleep on the floor,” Spencer suggests tentatively, breaking the silence that had filled the room. His voice is hesitant, almost as if he’s apprehensive about suggesting such a thing.

You look at him, noticing the slight blush on his cheeks as he avoids eye contact. It is clear that he doesn’t want to inconvenience you or make you feel uncomfortable by overstepping any boundaries.

But there is absolutely no way that you’re going to let Spencer sleep on the cold, hard floor, especially after a long day of chasing down an UnSub. “You’re not sleeping on the floor, Spence,” you protest, shaking your head gently. “There is more than enough room on the bed; we can put some pillows between us if that’ll make you more comfortable,” you suggest. You can see his apprehension, his discomfort at the idea of encroaching on your personal space. 

In a way it’s very sweet, you know Spencer well, and you know how little he would enjoy lying on the floor, yet he is willing to give up his own comfort for you.

But at the same time you can’t help but feel a little pang of… Of what exactly you’re not sure. Disappointment maybe, or even longing? And a little irrational fear that maybe he actually finds sleeping next to you so uncomfortable that he would prefer the floor.  

You have tried to suppress your feelings for Spencer for a long time, you have had a crush on him from the moment you first joined the BAU three years ago, but the more you got to know him, and the deeper your friendship deepend the deeper your feelings for him also grew. 

You know that you’re being irrational, but you can’t help but wonder if Spencer actually feels uncomfortable by the idea of sharing a bed with you or if it’s something else entirely. As you continue to stare at him, hoping for a clue, Spencer nervously fidgets with the strap of his bag which he still hasn’t put down. 

“Sure, pillows…” he finally speaks, his voice trailing off. You can tell he’s hesitant, it’s clear that the idea of sharing a bed with you is not something he had anticipated or prepared for.  

You take a step closer to Spencer, trying to ease the tension that has settled between you. “Spencer, it’s going to be okay. We’ve slept in the same room many times before, remember? This is just a little different, but I’ll promise to stay on my side of the bed,” you assure him, offering a small smile.

Spencer glances over at you, his eyes meeting yours for a brief moment before he takes a deep breath andnodding slowly as he finally sets his bag down and starts to remove his jacket. His movements are deliberate, almost mechanical, as if he’s trying to distract himself from the tension in the room. Lost in your thoughts, you find yourself stealing glances at him. You watch his every movement, wondering if there’s more to his unease than just sharing a bed. As he hangs his jacket neatly on the back of a chair, you can’t help but notice the way his fingers tremble ever so slightly. 

“Do you want the bathroom first?” you ask, trying to break the silence and bring some normalcy back into the situation. Spencer looks up at you, his eyes reflecting gratitude for the distraction.

“Uh, yeah, that sounds good,” he replies, his voice slightly shaky. He walks past you towards the bathroom, his steps quick and purposeful.

While he’s in the bathroom, you take a moment to collect your thoughts, as you start to take out your pajamas and toiletries from your bag before going over to the bed, placing a few pillows in a row in the middle of the mattress. The tension in the room is palpable, and you can’t help but wonder if there’s something more going on with Spencer. You’ve always had a strong connection with him, but lately, there have been moments when you’ve sensed a shift in his behavior towards you. It’s hard to put into words, but there’s a certain longing and vulnerability that seems to surface whenever you’re together.

As you ponder these thoughts, Spencer emerges from the bathroom. He’s changed into his pajamas, checkered flannel bottoms and a long sleeved cotton t-shirt, his hair damp from his shower. You can’t help but notice how adorable he looks. There is something so soft looking over him like this, almost domestic and your heart skips a beat.

“Your turn,” he says softly, gesturing towards the bathroom. You nod and make your way inside, trying to steady your own racing heart.

The warm water from the shower helps to calm your nerves, but your mind is still filled with questions. What if there’s a chance that Spencer feels the same way? What if this shared bed situation could bring you closer together?

You finish your shower and step out, wrapping a towel around yourself. As you reach for your pajamas, you catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror. You take a deep breath, reminding yourself to stay calm and not let your emotions get the best of you, yes you have developed feelings for Spencer but first and foremost he is your friend and, and you can’t start assuming things. He is allowed to find sharing a bed with you awkward. 

When you return to the room, Spencer is already tucked into one side of the bed, the one closest to the door, his back turned towards you, and you can’t help but notice that he is far closer to the edge of the mattress than he needs to be. The only light in the room now coming from the bedside lamp on the side of the bed that has been assigned to you by Spencer.

You quietly slip into your side, letting the heavy comforter cover your body as you lay down on your back, looking over at Spencer’s back for a short moment before looking back up into the ceiling.  

The proximity between you is both exhilarating and nerve-wracking, as you lie there, so close to each other yet so far away. You take a deep breath before you break the silence once again. “Ready to turn off the light?”

Spencer shifts slightly, his voice barely above a whisper as he responds, “Yeah, sure.” You reach over and switch off your lamp, plunging the room into darkness. The only source of light now is the faint glow of moonlight coming shining through the blinds.

As you lay there, your mind starts to wander, replaying all the moments you’ve shared with Spencer over the years. The late-night conversations, the shared laughter, the times he’s been there for you when you needed someone the most. Each memory fills you with a mixture of warmth and longing.  

“Good night, Spence,” you utter softly into the darkness,   

“Night,” he replies, his voice barely audible in the quiet space and the room falls silent once again. 

You let out the softest of sighs as you close your eyes, finally letting yourself feel how tired you really are, slowly letting yourself try to surrender to sleep. 

· · ·

It’s still dark in the room as you wake up, only an hour or two have passed since you fell asleep, and for just about half a second you get to wonder what had woken you so abruptly before the reason becomes clear to you. 

It is Spencer who woke you. In the dimly lit room, his agitated body twists and contorts restlessly next to you. You turn around so you’re facing him, propping yourself up on your elbow so you’re slightly hovering over him, the darkness of the room shadowing his face, but as your eyes get used to the dark you notice the beads of sweat glistening on his forehead, his eyebrows knitted and his breathing erratic and shallow.  

Unintelligible, fearful murmurs escape his lips, carrying traces of an impending terror. With a gentle touch, you place your hand on his shoulder, hoping to offer some comfort as you try to gently pull him out of his nightmare.

“Spencer,” you say softly. “Spencer, wake up.”

His eyes fly open, wide with fear, his gaze darting around for a second or two, before they lock with yours which seems to calm him down a little. -

“I’m sorry, I woke you,” he mutters, his rapid breathing slowly coming under control. 

“Spence, it’s okay, I get them too,” you remind him. “We all do.” 

“I-I know… this one was just so real…”  Spencer takes a moment, his brows knitted as if he’s contemplating whether to share the details or simply let the disturbing dream fade away. “You were there,” he finally says, taking a deep breath before continuing, “I couldn’t get to you in time, I-I kept running but I didn’t get any closer a-and…” but then he stops, like he can’t get himself to continue.  

You feel how your heart clenches at his words, he had a nightmare about you…

“Well, I’m right here, and I’m okay,” you reassure him, offering a soft smile before you place a gentle hand on his shoulder as if to emphasize your statement, hoping to offer some comfort.

He places his own hand on top of yours, giving it a gentle squeeze. 

“You think you can go back to sleep?” you ask him as you finally remove your hand from his shoulder. 

“Yeah, I think so,” he says and the two of you both lay back down on the mattress, but a short silence falls over the room before Spencer speaks again. “Would it  be okay if we removed the pillows?” 

“Of course,” you whisper back, removing the pillows. There is still a decent gap between you, but the cushioned wall is now gone. You yearn to close the gap, wanting to reach out for him, to comfort him with an embrace, but you just stay on your side of the bed. This can be enough, you can live with just being his friend, despite how your heart yearns for more. 

“Goodnight,” Spencer whispers, now laying on his back instead of facing away from you like last time you said goodnight. 

“Goodnight,” you whisper back, “and, Spence?” you add.

“Yeah?”

“Remember you can always talk to me if you need it, I know how it feels.”

A beat of silence. “Yeah, I know, and thank you, it’s really nice to know that.”  

You let out a soft sigh as you finally close your eyes again. “Of course, that is what friends are for.”

“Yeah, friends…” he mumbles, so low you barely hear it. 

But you do hear it, and you ponder over it a little as you again begin to slowly drift off to sleep, and as you find yourself in the liminal space between wakefulness and slumber. Each breath you take seems to synchronize with Spencer’s soft breathing. In the darkness, your thoughts become even more encompassed by the draw you feel towards him, the yearning to hold him, to be held by him.

Suddenly, you feel a shift in the bed, and your heart skips a beat. Did Spencer just move closer to you? You open your eyes to find him curled up, facing your direction. His features softened, no longer affected by his nightmare, but now relaxed in sleep. It takes all of your willpower not to reach out and touch his tousled curls, to trace the contours of his face.

But you don’t. You don’t want to risk jeopardizing the friendship you share. As much as you yearn for more, you’re determined not to overstep any boundaries. 

With a heavy sigh, you turn away from Spencer, facing the wall instead. Your emotions are in disarray, swirling within you like a tempestuous storm. The closeness you currently have, even if it’s just a hair’s breadth away, feels agonizingly bittersweet.

As you drift closer to sleep, nestled in the comfort of the bed, you feel a sense of contentment and tranquility. Despite the uncertainty and longing, there is solace in the silent presence of Spencer beside you. And for now, that is enough.

· · · 

You are stirred from sleep once again later in the night. This time, it is a gradual, more peaceful transition into consciousness. A sense of warmth and snugness engulfing you, making you fill with a sense of complete safety and comfort, your eyes still closed and your mind still groggy from sleep. 

As you slowly emerge from your drowsy state, it takes a moment for you to identify the source of your comfort. As time passes, and you’re pulled enough out of your sleepy daze you start to become aware of the gentle movements against your body, and you start to perceive the muffled sounds emanating from beside you, and confusion is washing over you for a short moment before you remember where you are. Remembering that you’re in a hotel room in a small town in Nebraska, a hotel room which you’re sharing with Spencer, a hotel room that only has one bed…   

 Your eyes flutter open as Spencer’s arms squeeze you a little tighter, your back is pressed up against his chest and your legs are tangled under the warm covers. His steady breath gently fan the back of your neck, his lips ghosting over your skin, grazing just over your pulse point. 

And it is now, as you are being pressed tight up against him, that you feel it. How he gently is rocking against you. How the outline of his hard cock is pressing against the curve of your ass. You let out a faint gasp, as a warm shiver runs through you right down to your now throbbing cunt. 

Your heart skips a beat, overwhelmed by the intensity of this unexpected intimacy from Spencer. You are not completely sure what to do, what Spencer would prefer you to do in this situation. There is no way you’re gonna be able to wiggle out of his embrace without risking waking him. You should probably wake him, right? 

You can’t believe that this is really happening, that you really are in this position with Spencer right now. But you know that you can’t read too much into it, that people just get wet dreams sometimes, that this is just a physical reaction. He didn’t even want to share the bed with you in the first place, and you were the one who insisted on it. As much as you dread having to face him in this position, you really should wake him. 

You know Spencer, you know that he will feel embarrassed when you wake him, but it will be nowhere near as bad as the betrayal he will feel if he finds out that you didn’t stop this. 

Taking a deep breath, you start to gently nudge Spencer awake, careful not to startle him. “Spencer,” you say gently, slightly wiggling in his embrace as you try to face him. “Spencer, wake up.” 

As he stirs, his eyes flutter open, and he looks at you with a mixture of confusion and sleepiness, before a look of absolute horror overtakes his face, his eyes filling with panic. His embrace immediately loosens, and he quickly pulls away from you. The distance between your bodies, making you feel a sudden pang of emptiness as he bolts off the bed. 

“I- I’m so sorry,” he stutters, his voice frantic. “I don't know what came over me. This isn’t... I didn’t mean to…” His words trail off, and he looks utterly mortified.  

“Spence, it’s okay,” you try to reassure him, watching as he begins to pace back and forth in the small room, and start to gather his belongings, his eyes darting around the room anxiously, as if searching for an escape. “Spencer?” you try again, hoping to bring him back from the edge of his spiraling thoughts. You get out of the bed, your bare feet hitting the cold floorboards. 

But Spencer doesn’t seem to even hear you, he just grabs his bag and starts stuffing his belongings inside, his movements frantic and uncoordinated. “I-I’ll leave,” he begins, his voice strained with guilt and embarrassment. 

“Spencer, please,” you say softly, stepping around the bed to get to him. “You don’t have to leave.”

He is halfway through the bathroom door by now, his bag dropping from his shoulder. Tears are pooling in his eyes, his expression tortured. “I can’t stay,” he says, his voice quivering. “I made you uncomfortable...”

“Spence,” you try again, now standing only a few steps from him. 

“No… I made you uncomfortable, and I-I’m so sorry, I just- I mean- or no, I didn’t mean…” he begins to ramble before giving up and burying his face in his hands. 

Your heart aches at his words, at the pain in his eyes. You never wanted this to happen, never wanted to make him feel like this. “Spence, you could never make me uncomfortable” you say, trying to keep your voice as steady and comforting as you can, your heart thumping loudly in your chest. 

“You don’t have to say that,” he begins, but you cut him off before he can start spiraling even more than he already is. 

“I do, Spence, cause it’s true. You haven’t made me uncomfortable, okay?” you need him to believe you, you are colleagues and you’ll have to see each other everyday, but also, and more importantly, he is your friend and he means so much to you, you just can’t lose him. “You didn’t make me uncomfortable. I promise. Please, look at me.”

You take a step closer to Spencer, reaching out for him, gently placing your hand on his trembling shoulder. Sensing the depth of his distress, you speak softly, attempting to soothe him further, and he finally looks at you, his damp eyes filled with shame and embarrassment. 

“I... I didn’t mean for this to happen,” he stammers, his voice shaky. “I never wanted to make you uncomfortable or take advantage of you. I don’t even know why I…”

You interrupt him gently, placing a hand on his cheek to bring his attention back to you. “Spencer, listen to me. It’s alright.” 

He searches your eyes, seeking reassurance. A moment passes before he finally speaks. “Are you sure it’s alright?” vulnerability shining through his words.

“Yes, Spence… It’s alright,” you feel sad, because as selfish as it is, you do wish your words weren’t true, wish that it did mean something, but you have to ignore that for now. It’s not fair to be selfish right now, what you need is to comfort Spencer and reassure him that it’s okay. You have to ignore how good it felt to feel him against your body, having him grinding against you, having his lean arms around you…

“What happened... It was just a physical reaction and I don’t hold it against you. I know you didn’t mean for it to happen, and it’s not like you can control your dreams,” you offer him a small smile, one that you hope will convince him that you mean what you’re saying, but it feels bittersweet as you say your next words. “I know it didn’t mean anything.” 

Spencer’s shoulders visibly slump as he absorbs your words. He still looks deeply conflicted, but your reassurance seems to have calmed him down slightly. “That’s not true…” he murmurs, he sounds unsure, almost shy as he says it, yet there is a determination flickering in his hazel brown eyes. 

That’s not true..? You wonder if he is going to disagree with your statement about not being able to control dreams and launch into an extensive explanation of the technicalities of lucid dreaming, but what he says instead makes your heart flutter and fills you with a sense of hope. “It did mean something,” he admits, his voice barely above a whisper.

Your breath catches in your throat at his words. The room feels charged with tension, the air thick with uncertainty. You take a step closer to him, your hand still resting gently on his cheek. “Spencer, what do you mean?” you ask, your voice soft and filled with curiosity. And a realization courses through your body, he didn’t just have a wet dream, he had a wet dream about you… 

He takes a deep breath, his eyes locked with yours. “You mean so much to me. My dreams, my nightmares, my…” he trails off, a pink blush spreading across his cheeks, my wet dreams, his blush is telling. “My waking thoughts, they always end up being about you.”  

You feel your heart swell, a mix of excitement and nervousness bubbling within you. Spencer’s words hang in the air, leaving you momentarily breathless. Unable to contain your own feelings any longer. You close the last distance between you, so close that you now can feel the heat radiating from his body, your hand sliding from his cheek to the back of his neck. Your touch is gentle, craving a connection, desperate to convey your own emotions. “Spencer,” you whisper, your voice filled with a tenderness you can no longer hide. “It’s the same for me.”  

Spencer’s eyes widen in surprise, his breath hitching in his throat. It takes a moment for his words to find their way back to him. “You...you feel the same way?” he says, almost breathlessly, his eyes searching yours for any sign of deception. “You’re not just saying this to make me feel better?”

You shake your head, your voice filled with sincerity. “No. I wouldn’t say this if I didn’t mean it.”

Relief floods his features, and a small smile tugs at the corners of his lips. His pretty, pretty lips which look so soft and so damn kissable… “Oh…” is all he manages to say, his voice filled with soft gentle wonder. 

You can see how the weight is slowly lifting off of his shoulders, his eyes sparkling with a mixture of relief and happiness. He reaches out to take your free hand in his. He moves his other hand to your waist, at first not  fully committing to the touch, his fingers gently ghosting over your pajamas, but with a soft smile of encouragement from you he gently places his palm against you, and his touch sends a wave of warmth through your body. 

The room seems to shrink, the world outside becoming distant and irrelevant. At this moment, it’s like the two of you are the only two people left on this earth. Spencer’s lips part slightly, as if he wants to say something more, but the words remain trapped in his throat. Instead, he leans in, his breath mingling with yours, and then, his lips brush against yours in the softest, most tentative of kisses.

It’s a moment of pure vulnerability, and raw emotion. The kiss is a little hesitant at first yet filled with longing. The warmth of his lips against yours creates an electric current that surges through your entire body, igniting a fire within you. His arms wrap around your waist, pulling you closer to him, as if he never wants to let you go. The possessiveness in his touch sends a shiver down your spine, and you find yourself losing all sense of restraint. 

In this moment, the world outside doesn’t matter. All that matters is the connection between you and Spencer, the warmth that courses through your veins with every touch and every kiss. You feel how heat is pooling in your stomach.

 Your fingers tangle in his hair, lightly tugging on the wavy strands, making him gently moan into the kiss as your other hand finds its way to his face, caressing his cheeks as if trying to convey all the feelings you have bottled up inside.

The kiss deepens, becoming more passionate and desperate, as if both of you have been longing for this moment for far too long. It’s a dance of tongues and teeth, a melding of souls, and you can’t help but lose yourself in the sensations. The taste of his lips, the feeling of his hands on your waist, the way he pulls you closer as if he wants to merge your bodies into one.

Desire courses through you, igniting a fire within that consumes every rational thought. You press yourself flush against him, unable to stop your body from slowly grinding against him as the need for more contact intensifies, making Spencer moan into the kiss, which only makes your own desire for him grow even stronger. Every touch, every movement sends a jolt of anticipation through your body, the friction between you building a deliciously tantalizing tension.

The need for more becomes unbearable, but your lungs start to burn and you finally break the heated kiss to get a breath of air. His lips hovering mere inches from yours, his breath warm and ragged. The room is filled with thick tension as you lock eyes, the intensity between you crackling with electricity. You take a moment to steady your own breath before asking him, a little shyly, what you want to know the most in this moment. “Wanna tell me about your dream?” 

Your words hang in the air, a challenge and an invitation, as you search his gaze for approval. He looks into your eyes, his own filled with a mix of desire and vulnerability. “How…”  He takes a deep, steadying breath, before continuing. “How about I show you instead?” 

You feel your heart skip a beat at his words, a rush of excitement and anticipation flooding through you. Without hesitation, you nod your head, your voice barely above a whisper as you respond, “I’d like that.”

You reach for his hand, guiding him towards the bed. As you lay down, he hovers above you, his eyes filled with a mixture of passion, desire, and a hint of vulnerability. The vulnerability only makes you want him more, to show him that the connection you both share is real, that it’s more than just a passing moment of lust.  

You place a hand at the back of his neck, drawing him down towards you, and his lips meet yours in another fervent kiss. The weight of his body pressing against you sends a thrill through your veins, a delicious ache building between your thighs. You bring your legs up, wrapping them around him, making him let out a low grunt. 

His mouth leaves your lips to instead trail down along your jawline, down your neck, leaving a trail of hot, open-mouthed kisses in their wake. His movements start out slightly clumsy, but he is very quick to adapt and adjust, finding a rhythm that suits both of you. You tilt your head back, giving him better access, surrendering yourself to the pleasure that ripples through your body with each touch of his lips. His hands move up the sides of your body, leaving a trail of fire in their wake.

“Fuck, Spence,” you whine. Your fingers thread through his hair, tugging gently, urging him on. His lips find their way to your collarbone, and he nips at the sensitive flesh, causing a gasp to escape your lips. The sensation sends a jolt straight to your core, and you can feel yourself growing wetter and wetter with desire for him.

His fingers dip beneath the hem of your shirt, skimming along the curve of your waist, his touch leaving a trail of goosebumps in its wake. You arch your back, silently begging for more, and he obliges, his hands slipping further up until they find your breasts, his thumbs rubbing softly over your hardened nipples. A low moan escapes your mouth, and his lips find yours once again, swallowing the sound and pouring his own desire into the kiss before pulling away to speak. “We… we weren’t wearing this much clothes… In my dream.” 

As the words tumble from his lips, you feel a surge of anticipation flood through you. The desire to match his dream, to fulfill his fantasies, takes hold of you. With a breathless chuckle, followed by an encouraging smile you nod and begin to undo the buttons of your pajama shirt, slowly revealing your bare skin to his hungry gaze. His eyes darken with desire as he watches the fabric slip off your shoulders and expose your breasts fully to him.

“You’re so beautiful,” he murmurs, his voice filled with awe and reverence. 

Spencer’s hands tremble slightly as he reaches out, gently cupping your breasts, his touch sending shivers down your spine. His eyes never leave yours as he experiments with different pressures and strokes, learning the map of your body through touch. Each caress sets you ablaze, igniting a fire within you that only he can satisfy.

“I...I never imagined this could be real,” Spencer admits, his voice laced with awe and reverence. “To have you like this, to be able to touch you, it’s beyond anything I ever dreamed of.”

His words melt into the air, caressing your senses as you guide his hands down your body, your breath hitching with each movement. The heat between your legs intensifies, the ache growing unbearable as his fingers brush against your heated, still covered core.

“Then let’s get rid of the rest of our clothes,” you whisper, your voice filled with anticipation and desire. With shaking hands, you help Spencer undress, removing his shirt and pants after he has shed you of your own pants. 

The air is thick with tension, as the only things that are now covering the two of you being your own panties and Spencer’s gray boxer briefs. You swallow, the sight of him making a hot shiver run through your body, right down to your throbbing cunt, making you squeeze your thighs together. The imposing size of the bulge in his underwear only adds to the anticipation that swirls inside you. The dark spot of precum on the gray cotton, making you drool and without a second thought, you slide your hand down to where his arousal strains against the garment, palming him gently through the fabric, a low groan escapes his lips, the sound music to your ears. 

“Shouldn’t we get these off too?” Your voice takes on a sultry tone as you gently squeeze him through his underwear. 

Another groan, this one a little more whiny, falls from his lips, as he nods eagerly.       

You let out a gasp as he follows your suggestion, and slides off this last item of clothing. His hard cock springs free, hitting his stomach. He is big, thick and throbbing with a bead of precum at the tip that you would love to lick off of him. You have never seen a more mouthwatering cock in your life, and if it wasn’t because you were so damn desperate to have him inside of you, you would get on your knees and choke on him in this instant. “Has anyone ever told you that you have a really pretty cock, Spence?”  

“N-no…” 

“Well, you do,” you assure him. Spencer’s cheeks flush by your bold compliment as you reach out for him. “Now come here, pretty boy,” you say, pulling him down on you again and he doesn’t hesitate, capturing your lips once again, but not before telling you how beautiful you are.

“Can’t concentrate sometimes, you’re so beautiful, it’s distracting,” he murmurs between kisses. “And you’re always so sweet to me, to everyone, and so fucking sexy,” he whispers against your lips. The warmth of his breath sends a shiver down your spine, intensifying the electricity between you.

You smile into the kiss, feeling an overwhelming surge of affection for Spencer. His words touch a deep, insecure part of your heart that you rarely expose to anyone. It’s moments like these when you realize just how lucky you are to have him in your life, and how deeply you want him to play an even bigger role than he already does.

Breaking away from the kiss, you gaze into Spencer’s expressive eyes, his pupils blown wide with lust and affection. “I could say all that about you too, you know” you confess, sincerity lacing your voice as you bring your hand up to push a stray curl away from his face. “You can be very distracting too, Dr. Reid,” you whisper, a mischievous glint in your eyes as you gently rut your clothed pussy up against his erection as you address him by his title. 

A desperate grunt escapes his lips as he feels the friction between your bodies. He leans his forehead against yours, his voice husky with anticipation. “God, you have no idea how badly I want you,” he breathes, his voice thick with desire. You can feel his body trembling against yours, the need radiating off of him in waves. 

“Me too, Spence,” you pant, you are now grinding against him in a slow, sloppy rhythm, “need to have you inside of me so bad.” you confess. “Do you have a condom?”

Spencer’s eyes widen slightly at your question, a mix of desire and concern flickering across his face. “No… I didn’t think... I-I mean, it’s not something I… I didn’t expect...this,” Spencer stammers, his cheeks turning pink. “I didn’t think we would…”

“It’s okay, Spencer,” you say, your voice filled with understanding, gently cupping his face in your hands, you take a little pause before continuing, “I’m on birth control, and I’m clean... so if you want…” you trail off, wanting him to be the one to make the decision   

Spencer takes a moment to process your words, his expression shifting from surprise to relief. He exhales a shaky breath, his eyes searching yours for reassurance. “I-I’ve never done this without a condom…” he confesses, blushing even more, “not that I’ve done this a whole lot…” he says, his voice filled with vulnerability.

You have been unsure about how experienced Spencer is but his honesty and vulnerability only make you appreciate him more. You stroke his cheek gently, comforting him with your touch. You are just about to tell him that it is okay, and that you don’t have to do anything he is not ready for and that you can stop if he isn’t feeling like doing this anymore, but Spencer speaks before you have a chance to say any of this.

“But I want to do it all with you,” he says, his voice filled with determination and longing. “I trust you.”

His words send a surge of warmth through your body, a reassurance that he is fully committed to this moment and to exploring the depths of your connection. You lean in, capturing his lips in a deep, passionate kiss, conveying both your love and desire for him.

Now that you finally know how it feels to kiss him after having pondered over it for so long you just can’t stop, his lips too intoxicating, too addictive. “I trust you too, Spence,”you murmur against his lips, your voice laden with affection and honesty as you spread your legs, inviting him to take the next step.

Spencer’s eyes flicker with a mix of desire and admiration as he brings his hands down to skim over the thin, and by now soaked, fabric of your panties, you arch your back, silently begging for more.

A hungry expression dances over his features before he slides the fabric aside, his touch sending sparks of pleasure coursing through your veins. His fingers trail through the wetness already pooling between your legs, spreading out your arousal as he circles your clit. A shudder runs through you, your back arching off the mattress as pleasure courses through your veins. He continues to tease you, his touch feather-light yet impossibly intense.  

“You’re so wet,” he says intrigued, and you find his fascination utterly endearing. 

“Well, it’s all for you, Spence,” you moan in response as Spencer’s fingers glide over your slick folds, his touch becoming more purposeful and assertive. The anticipation builds inside you, a mixture of desire and nervous excitement. You watch Spencer’s face for any signs of hesitation or uncertainty, but all you find is a hunger that matches your own as he slides a finger inside of you. Your breath hitches as he curls his finger, hitting a spot deep inside that sends a wave of pleasure crashing through your body. You grip the sheets, your nails digging into the fabric as Spencer adds another finger, stretching you and filling you up. 

The room fills with your moans and gasps, the sound of your pleasure mixing with the wet sounds of his fingers working you. You can feel your walls tightening around him, a signal that you’re close to the edge. Sensing your impending release, Spencer leans down, his lips finding yours in a searing kiss as he continues to thrust his fingers inside you. The combination of his touch and his kiss sends you spiraling over the edge, waves of ecstasy washing over you. 

You cling to Spencer, your body trembling with pleasure as he guides you through your orgasm, his fingers never faltering in their movements. As your climax subsides, he withdraws his fingers slowly, his gaze locked with yours. You’re both panting, trying to catch your breath as the intensity of the moment washes over you. 

“That was...amazing,” he whispers, his voice filled with awe. You smile, feeling a surge of pride and contentment wash over you.

“You’re amazing,” you reply, your voice filled with love. 

“I want to be inside you so badly,” Spencer confesses, his voice filled with desire and urgency. His eyes bore into yours, pleading for your permission. You can see the vulnerability and longing in his gaze, making your heart swell with affection for him.

With a nod, you give him your consent, silently urging him to take the next step. and he gets up on his knees. His erection stands tall, glistening with anticipation. Taking a deep breath to steady himself, he slowly positions himself between your legs, his hands trembling slightly as he supports his weight above you, his  gaze never leaving yours.

As he slowly enters you, a rush of pleasure courses through your body. Inch by inch, he fills you, stretching you in the most delicious way. A low moan escapes your lips, the sensation overwhelming yet incredibly satisfying. Spencer’s eyes never leave yours, his expression transitioning from concentration to blissful surrender.

Once he’s fully inside you, he pauses, allowing you both to savor the feeling of being intimately connected. You run your hands over his back, sending shivers down his spine as you guide him to start moving. With each thrust, waves of pleasure crash through you, igniting a fire that burns brightly between you.

“Spencer,” you whisper breathlessly, your voice filled with need, “you feel amazing.”

He whimpers in response, his rhythm picking up as both your bodies move in perfect synchronization. The sound of skin slapping against skin echoes through the room, a raw display of the passion simmering between you.

The room is filled with the sounds of your bodies colliding, the bed creaking in rhythm with your passionate movements. Spencer’s thrusts become deeper and more assertive, his movements guided by pure instinct and the desire to please you. He holds nothing back, giving himself to you completely.

“You’re so tight,” he groans, his voice filled with a mixture of pleasure and disbelief. “I’ve never felt anything like this before.”

You dig your nails into his back, urging him on. “Don’t hold back, Spencer,” you gasp, your voice laced with urgency. “Give it to me, all of it.”

Your hands roam his body, tracing the contours of his lean muscles, urging him on with every touch. His lips find yours in a desperate kiss, each one filled with a mixture of love, desire, and a hunger for more. The intensity of your connection drives you both toward the edge, pushing you closer and closer to the brink of ecstasy. 

His thrusts become harder, deeper, and you cry out, overwhelmed by the sensations coursing through your body. Pleasure builds within you, radiating outwards in waves, threatening to consume you entirely.

“I’m close, Spence,” you manage to utter, your voice strained. “I’m so close.”

He increases his pace, his movements becoming erratic as he chases his own release. You can feel the tension coil within him, the way he desperately clings onto the edge, on the verge of falling. And then, as if in perfect unison, the dam breaks. The pleasure crashes over you both, engulfing you in a tidal wave of ecstasy. You can’t help but let out a series of desperate whines and moans as you feel the warmth of his release filling you up as he pumps you full of him, coating your walls with his cum. You cling to each other, riding out the waves of your orgasms, the walls of your pussy convulsing around his cock, your bodies trembling with the intensity of it all.

Spencer collapses onto you, his weight pressing you further into the mattress. You wrap your arms around him, holding him close, basking in the afterglow of your shared intimacy. As your breaths finally steady, he lifts his head and gazes into your eyes, a tender smile playing on his lips.

“That was... beyond words,” he murmurs, his voice filled with awe and reverence. “I’ve never felt this connected to someone before.”

You stroke his cheek lovingly, your own smile mirroring his. “Me neither, Spence.”

He leans down, capturing your lips in a gentle kiss, pouring all his adoration and gratitude into it. 

And as you both lie tangled in each other’s arms, basking in the warmth and intimacy you have just experienced, a feeling of contentment washes over you. It is a feeling you have longed for, a feeling of being truly seen and accepted by another person, and you know that for a long time that longing has been for Spencer and only Spencer. 

“I am so grateful for you, Spence,” you whisper, your voice filled with sincerity. 

Spencer’s eyes softened, his gaze locking with yours. “Thank you for being patient with me. Before meeting you I honestly never thought I could feel so comfortable and safe with anyone.”

Tears well up in your eyes. The depth of emotion in his words touches you deeply. You lean in to capture his lips in a tender kiss, a kiss filled with love and gratitude.

Spencer shifts, gently pulling out of you and sliding to your side. He scoops you into his arms, holding you close to his chest. The rise and fall of his breath against your skin is soothing, creating a sense of comfort and security on a level that you have never felt before.

You curl up against him, your head resting on his shoulder. “I’m so happy there only was one bed,” you whisper, the words spilling from your heart without hesitation. Spencer presses a gentle kiss to your forehead.

“Me too,” he reply, his voice filled with emotion.

Thank you for reading! If you feel like it, please leave a comment or reblog to let me know what you thought ♡

[causenessus]

comforting you. | bungou stray dogs

inc. chuuya, dazai, ranpo, odasaku

written is second pov (no gendered pronouns used)

"you deserve this." by men i trust

word count: 4.6k words

notes/warnings: separate scenarios for each bsd man and how they comfort you when you’re feeling down, giving you both love and realistic advice. i feel like i bounced between writing generalized headcanons and hyperspecific scenarios, so i’m sorry but i hope you enjoy this <3 each of you is deserving of so much love and patience <3 you deserve to be here <3 each pairing is in an established relationship. also (relevant for odasku’s scenario), the orphans are still alive. my writing my universe. i'm actually beastzai in another au where everyone lives and is happy and everything is okay. use of pet names "sweetheart" (chuuya scenario) "angel" (dazai scenario) and "love" (oda). general hurt/comfort drabbles :) lmk if I should add anything! i would NOT consider this proofread because I read it half-asleep at midnight trying to edit it so forgive me for any mistakes 🙏

special shoutouts to @dorotheasdiary + @aouzi for hyping me up/listening to my rambles abt this work!! sorry for the tag </3

chuuya.

sometimes the urge to give up became too strong. 

was it too much to ask time to stop for just one day? it seemed all your pleas to the sky were falling on deaf ears.

still, as all things do, you eventually lost the motivation to keep pushing forward on your own.

like a runner who trips upon a small pebble and can’t get back into their pace, slowly, slowly falling behind the others.

the one difference was that you had come to a complete stop. you'd never allowed yourself a break until you were completely burnt out; unable to move even a muscle.

you haven’t even made it out of bed the whole day. 

the room was starting to feel sick and stuffy with how long you’d laid in those sheets that no longer seemed to provide any comfort. rather, you felt like you were simply dirtying the sheets by continuing to lie there, purposeless, useless.

you barely had it in you to call out of work before drifting back into a mundane sleep that you continued to wake up and fall back into for the better half of the day. you hadn’t looked at your phone after sending a quick text to your manager, unprepared for whatever kind of passive-aggressive response they'd messaged back with because of your late notice. the unknown was too much right now, you couldn't focus on anyone you couldn't read but yourself. you didn’t want to be around friends, family, or people out on the street, where your mind would run rapid laps around itself, trying to figure out what everyone thought of you.

at work, it was the same; sizing yourself up to your coworkers, figuring out how well-liked you were— how replaceable you would be if one day you suddenly up and dropped, or, more likely in your mind, you annoyed everyone enough that they let you go. 

never really knowing what others thought terrified you. obviously it wasn't the norm despite living in a world filled with those gifted with abilities to be able to read another's mind but that didn’t mean your mind could simply let the anxieties go. your head always seemed to be buzzing, preoccupied with concerns about something.

which is why you had tried to block everything out, the moment you woke up this morning and every rustle of your legs tumbled in the sheets was too loud for your ears; a playlist of music on shuffle played softly from your phone nearby, giving your brain something mindless to focus on while you had your head pressed between pillows to deafen out the rest of the world.

you didn’t feel any better or any energized despite how much you had slept today, but at the very least, sleep often took you away from constantly having to listen to whatever your mind wanted to rave and overthink next.

'what time is it? have i even gotten up once today? i should at least walk around. clean up. i'll never be motivated to get out of bed like this—' there your head went, taking one simple question and turning it into spindles of chains to wrap around your throat.

but when you feel the mattress sink beside you, suddenly everything goes quiet. the sheets become just sheets again–not something you’re sinking into or dirtying. someone has opened the curtains, revealing an orange sunset outside, and something nice is playing from the speaker of your phone, you realize.

he is the only one who doesn’t make your head spin. he is your grounding anchor, the gravitational force keeping your feet planted on this earth, opening your eyes to the beauty of the world you couldn’t otherwise see due your own anxieties.

“you been here all day?” he must have snuck in without you even hearing him (which isn’t hard to believe, considering the cushions you’d just been pressing to both of your ears), even giving him enough time to change. chuuya’s hair is still in a loose ponytail and he wears that black choker around his neck as always, but he’s dressed in a white shirt and some sweatpants, his gloveless hands reaching out to rub circles in your back.

he’s bare with you, and that’s what you love most about him.

you’ve had you’re insecurities about not being good enough for him and anything else typical within a relationship, but he never leaves you wondering. he grabs your hand to keep you from floating away too far, getting lost in your own thoughts, often pulling you back into the moment, when you’re lying in bed with him on quiet nights, the sides of your faces only lit by a nearby warm bedside lamp. he’ll trace the side of your face, searching your eyes, asking, “where did you go?”

and you can’t always answer, but you know, every time he asks you this question, that at least you can tell him where you are now. you’re at home with him. 

and this moment is no different, with his calloused hands gliding up and down your back, and you only let out a small whine, shuffling closer to him as best as you can with how tangled you are up in his sheets.

“what’s wrong?” he asks softly, head tilting towards you slightly as you shimmy closer. “how can i help, sweetheart?”

you like how clear he is. how he always tells you what he’s thinking. he never leaves anything up to interpretation, always silencing your thoughts before they can make an assumption and run far with it.

while in the beginning of your relationship, it was hard to always voice what you needed, you came to realize with time that when chuuya asked you what he could do to help, it wasn’t him pressuring you to tell him what was wrong. it was simply how his head worked; he wanted you to be clear about what you needed. if that meant talking out your problems, he would listen. if that meant leaving you alone, he’d give you as much time as you needed (albeit probably checking in at some points just to make sure you didn’t need anything, it was just his nature to care for you). but all in all, he just needed you to talk to him. he would talk to you, you would talk to him. that's how miscommunication was prevented. your mind always felt so clear when you were around him because of how rationally he seemed to think of everything—all you had to do was follow his lead, and everything else came easily. things were never sugar-coated between the two of you, they were said plain and simple. (and with how charming he was, chuuya’s words often ended up being just as sweet as sugar anyway, not even needing to be wrapped up in some false front. when he said “i love you,” it was something clear. a fact, not something said just to appease you or mellow things out, he said it because he meant it).

and how refreshing it was, being lost in a sea of your own murky, unclear thoughts based off of assumptions upon assumptions, to be pulled from that ocean to the shoreline and be promised that the sun would rise again.

eventually, opening up to him became easier. even thought it sometimes took a few hours, you always ended up telling him what was on your mind and he waited patiently every time. he only ever listened unless you asked for more, and he never invalidated your feelings. trusting that he was just going to listen to you, it began to take even less time to prepare yourself to open up. it became as easy as taking a sip of water; something you had to do voluntarily, but was still needed, healing, and often refreshing.

the pitch of your voice slightly heightens as you hum a “yes” in response to his question, curling up closer to him, and his fingers have found their way into your hair, combing through it. “got tired of everything,” you whisper softly, resting your forehead against the side of his thigh, thankful for his contact.

“yeah? i’m sure you did, baby. you’re doing a lot. it’s good to take a break every now and then. anything in particular spur you to take the day off? there’s no shame in just deciding to take a rest day for the hell of it either, though,” he speaks as gently as his actions, shifting slightly on the bed so that you can rest more comfortably, your head now laying in his lap, and he brushes your hair out of your face as you look up at him and his pretty bangs framing his face as he leans down towards you.

you hum in thought at the question, searching your brain for the answer. was there something that had triggered you to break today? or was it just the build-up of it all? “not really anything in particular,” you shrug slightly, still admiring his golden-brown eyes, hooded and soft, gazing into your own, “just felt like everything came toppling down today. i’ve just been thinking too much about what others think of me. i don’t feel that important to the world, or my job. i’m easily replaceable–nothing special–and yet i have to keep fighting for this job. i have to fight to occupy space for myself in the world when i never even asked to be here in the first place. —and of course you make everything better but i mean–you know me. you’re good to me. you’re too good to me. and sometimes i can’t understand why you waste all of that goodness in you on me.” by the time you’re finished, he’s gently lifted your head out of his lap to lay down on his side next to you, continuing to face you the entire time. 

you finish your long-winded explanation of unreasonable worries, and he only stares into your face, and you begin to shift under his eyes uncomfortably. his head his propped up in his hands, and he wears a small smile on his face, eyes flicking every few moments to focus on a different part of your face. “...chuu?” you whisper his name quietly, and his smile only grows.

“sorry, got too caught up admiring your pretty face,” he apologizes, and there he goes again, being so honest it makes your heart squeeze sometimes. he shifts his position slightly, reaching out his free hand to intertwine his slender fingers with yours, gently pressing the pads of his fingertips against your own, playing with them. “well, first of all, don’t think of your life through the lens that you are now. you can’t control or read anyone else’s mind, and that’s okay. people make a lot of irrational decisions anyway, it’s impossible to predict what someone will do, so don’t worry about what they think. what makes how they perceive you or what they think more correct than what you feel? they could be totally wrong about something, and they are if they think you’re replaceable, or bad, or whatever. don’t make yourself smaller for anyone else. you’re so smart and thoughtful and if anyone makes you feel bad about who you are, i’ll talk shit back to them, alright?”

you nod at his words but don’t meet his attempt to lighten the mood, only shifting closer again, hiding your face in his chest, breathing in his scent. his hand is back on your head, keeping you close while combing through your hair. “i think you're perfect as you are, [y/n]. i wouldn't want you any other way. you're the only thing on my mind all the time and you’re all i think about—if you're worried about what goes through my mind. i'll always be here for you, i'll be right behind you even if the world is against you. all you need is me, i’d burn everything to the ground for you in a heartbeat."

dazai.

as a kid, you quickly learned not to fight back. 

others were allowed to be angry and lash out, but when you did the same, it was wrong wrong wrong.

when you were young, you learned that love was conditional.

there was no understanding when it came to your emotions. no matter the kind of day that you had you were still expected to always be kind and patient, and never yell back.

to be loved–or rather, to simply survive in this world, you had to be the smaller person; never expect someone to love you for who you are, but because they like that you’re agreeable, quiet, and passive. never expect anyone to care about how you feel, no matter how close of a friend they are.

and surely, you couldn’t expect any kind of empathy from a coworker.

but that didn’t mean it didn’t hurt, and you could feel the way your chest contracted, suffocating with you, every time you were the brunt of kunikida’s critiques. there was no middle between letting the man belittle you to a husk of your former self or the scariest option of all: say something and risk your dynamic with him worsening even more.

setting boundaries and speaking your mind had never been things that came easy to you, as admitting that something was wrong in your relationship with someone always seemed to leave a gaping hole in the relationship that would always be prevalent, at least to you. telling someone who seemed to be unaware of how unkind their words were “you’re hurting me” seemed to always make things awkward between you and the other party. they realized they could no longer throw you around and every time they left, you couldn't help but think you should've dealt with it and kept your mouth shut. 

so you smile and nod along to whatever kunikida’s ordering you to do next, fake laughing when he says something about how important the job is and to make sure you don’t fail, as if such an option was even possible. you had never messed up anything he asked you to do, and with how long he went on about the importance of the job, you never planned to. but his ending words always reminded you of how little your efforts seemed to matter to him. he would never trust you or see you as anything better than just a little office worker to dump work on.

your face drops as soon as the man turns his back to you, and you let out a quiet sigh before returning to the laptop in front of you before hands upon your shoulders scare you.

“caught you!” a voice pops up from behind you, making you exclaim, jumping in your seat, whipping your head around to see a familiar brown-haired man. he was always causing problems for kunikida and getting scolded, and yet he seemed to be able to take everything as a light-hearted joke. he came into work every day with a smile on his face and new ways to irritate kunikida, while you couldn’t see yourself ever returning to this office if that man yelled at you the way he yelled at the boy in front of you even once.

“dazai! you scared me,” your eyes follow him as he slides into the chair next to you, slightly rolling away from you with how he’d launched himself into the seat. “what did you…catch?” you ask, watching as he scoots closer back to you again, resting his cheek on a bandaged arm atop of the oak desk you both sit at.

“now, now. let's not try and act all innocent. why are you letting him talk to you like that if it hurts you?” he asks with a smile, while your face only pales, your heart completely freezing up the moment you hear the question you fear most. you have to tear your eyes away before he sees through you anymore, and you look down into your lap, where you’re picking at your fingers. if dazai noticed it, surely others did. had kunikida been able to read your face? had you offended him because you refused to communicate your true feelings with him? maybe you seemed like a stuck-up individual in his eyes if he could tell that you were faking with him, and you weren’t sure if him believing that lie or finding out the truth would be worse.

“well i…” you trail off when his fingers come into your line of sight, intertwining them with yours, stopping you from the bad habit.

“have i ever gotten upset with you for very understandably getting annoyed at my endless antics? have we ever disagreed on something we absolutely refused to resolve? no to both. but are humans creatures of imperfection by nature? have we all made mistakes? yes, and that’s why they’re able to forgive each other unless they’re insufferably stuck up. but don’t let your head turn kunikida into a monster he’s not. he’ll understand if you ask him to speak to you less directly, or with more belief in you. he’s giving you these jobs because he trusts you, you know. he just rambles on about the importance of them because that’s who he is. you know that, and you know him. you know he’ll work to treat others with the respect they deserve, you just have to tell him so first. but he’s not going to get mad at you,” your eyes flick up from where he’s running a thumb along your knuckles up to him, only to find him already looking at you with those warm hazel brown eyes of his. he’s right, and it feels nice to be seen and not bashed for your true feelings. instead, you're being understood. under his gaze, you no longer feel weak for how sensitive or emotional you may feel. he’s looking at you like you’re worth something, worth enough that you can fight for yourself, worth enough to deserve to be comfortable in your relationships, rather than used by those near you.

“thank you,” you mumble, and he’s pulled you close by the wheels of your own chair, your knees knocking as one of his hands reach up to caress the back of your neck, soothing you further as you continue to look at him.

his lips are still curved into a smile, not the trickster one he wears as he comes up with his next plot to harass kunikida, but a soft, genuine one, like he loves and cares about you, without you even asking anything of him. maybe this is what love is; being looked at and known, without even having to open your mouth.

“of course, angel,” he murmurs, fingers brushing against the back of your scalp, “bring it up while atsuhi or i are around if you want, we’ll help you explain how you feel. you’re not alone, you never were and you never have to be."

ranpo.

ranpo’s heightened abilities to observe, infer, and understand go far past anything related to his detective work. 

the first time he found you feeling down and wanted to comfort you, he defaulted to what he knows helps him feel better (i.e. sweet treats, dim lights, warm, quiet environments). the entire time, while his hand is on your back, rubbing it soothingly as you lean against him, soft cries muffled by the blanket he’s placed over you, his brain is running the entire time with what he can do best to support you; did you like what he brung you? do you prefer to isolate yourself or do you like the company when you’re feeling down? blankets or no blankets? do you want him to talk to you and try to provide a distraction or is just being there for you what you need? touch, or no touch?

ranpo is so attentive to your needs. whatever you want and is best for you, he will get you and do for you. he gives all thanks to fukuzawa, for helping him realize not everyone sees the world the way he does, all those years ago. since then, he’s learned to be more responsive, emotionally thoughtful, and soft-hearted in his responses if that’s that what you need. but if you want to hear logic and how he’s rationalizing out your situation, he can do that, too. again, he is completely willing to bend and shape himself to your needs. the only thing he will always push for is to be in a room with you when you’re feeling down, even if you don’t want company </3

he knows when you really need to be alone, but he doesn’t like to let you be on your own for too long. he’ll always be in the next room over if you need anything, quietly pacing the room, only worried and thinking of you and if he can do anything more for you. if you’re curled up in bed all night, he’ll eventually knock on the door to ask if he can sleep with you and keep you company. he wholeheartedly believes letting other people help you and be there for you helps, especially to prevent you from spiraling down any pits of despair or insecurity. he wants you to know how much he cares about you and your wellbeing, he wants to be there to hold you close, press gentle kisses to your head, and murmur promises that he’ll never ever leave you alone.

but if you say no to company, he is happy to sleep on the couch and will be up the moment you call his name if you need something or decide you do want company. he is there completely for you always and whenever, and all of it comes from a place of love. he’ll never push you to do anything or tell him anything you don’t want to, and he’ll try not to infer anything even if he knows he could use context clues to find out exactly what’s upsetting you. he knows you’ll tell him when you’re ready if you want to, and it’s never his job to be in your business. his only responsibility is to love you and make sure you know it <3

oda.

you’ve never been great at facing your own problems, and you’re even worse at facing others in your time of struggle. it feels impossible to rely upon anyone, no matter how close they are to you.

sakunosuke oda is a selfless man, always taking care of others, putting their wellbeing above his own. he took in five orphans despite knowing the increased risk to his own safety that would come with taking care of them, and he still chose to do it despite not having a place of his own to take care of them at. he gives half of his wage as one of the lowest-ranking members of the port mafia to the kids every time he receives his salary and he’s never once deviated from the habit.

you know he’d drop everything for you if you told him what was wrong, but you couldn’t do that to him. it didn’t feel that serious. and worst of all, telling him how you were feeling would only cause him to cut his job short and then he’d be standing there with you while you continued to wallow in misery; of course his presence would help you feel better, but it wouldn’t immediately solve everything.

it wasn’t worth it. was your justification as you slipped out of your shared apartment. it wasn’t worth telling someone else how you were feeling, because they couldn’t solve it. you couldn’t solve it. you couldn’t even figure out for yourself what was wrong. you had to make your existence worth it instead, then. the best way you found, to distract yourself from your feelings and make sure they remained pushed down, was by helping others. no one whose in need of help often asks how others are truly doing, and you like that about them.

you don’t tell him where you’re going. you have nothing to hide; you just don’t want to worry him. you’ll tell him if he asks, but for now, you’re on your own.

but what kind of partner would he be if he didn’t know you? if he hadn’t memorized and kissed every mole, freckle, and blemish adorning your body? he knew you better than you realized, although you could never fully accept the fact that he paid attention to you, remembered your likes and dislikes, and knew your habits and routines like the back of his hand, all just because he loves you.

and when he comes home from work to an empty house, searching for any traces of you, he’s not worried. he has an idea of where you are and he knows that all he needs to do is text you, if he's curious. and he doesn’t immediately push his assumptions onto you about why you might be out and where; he knows you can take care of yourself and that you’ll communicate your needs to him. so when he texts you, it's not that he's demanding that you come home or ot tell him your whereabouts. rather, his texts are just to let you know he cares and is waiting for you at home.

sakunosuke ♡ : i’m home, just wanted to let you know

sakunosuke ♡ : text me if you need anything. and be safe

if he sees that you haven’t at least read his message within an hour or if he just can't wait to see you when you get home, whenever that may be, he already knows where to find you nine times out of 10. he’ll text the owner of his favorite curry shop, asking him if he’s seen you while already on his way down to the restaurant.

it's usually where he can find you there when you’re feeling down; braiding sakura’s hair, folding their laundry, coloring with one of the boys, helping out downstairs in the kitchen, or wherever else you can find a place to keep yourself busy. he knows that you’re always like this when you’re upset, and if you won’t take the day off to take care of yourself, then he will do it for you happily and well. he won’t even try to pull you away from what you’re doing–he’ll simply sit down with you, grabbing his own colored pencil while making small talk with the kids, giving you a small smile when you realize he's come into the room. or suddenly he’s next to you, helping you carry and hang up laundry, or drying off the dishes you’re washing.

and then before you know it, you’re walking home with him, hand in hand, a plastic bag rustling in his free one. you’ve both stopped to get food on the way home, and once you make it there, he’s immediately sitting you down, pressing a kiss to your forehead. “let me do everything, love.” he’ll help you out of your clothes into something more comfortable, holding your hair back while you wash your face and clean up, he’ll pull your chair out for you as you sit back down, and run a hand through your hair, keeping any stray strands out of your face as you eat. 

outside of the house, you can bury your feelings as much as you want to and work to please others, but at home with him, you’re the focus. you’re the one who’s honored and worshipped in the house. sakunosuke’s not letting you lift a finger if he can help it, and you can’t get away with continuing to ignore your feelings when his only desire is to help you.

and you’ll tell him what’s bothering you when you’re ready. he knows that after how long you both have been together. and so in the meantime, he’ll wait patiently, showering you with all the love in the world. ♡

[03jyh23]

🌷⌇new beginnings finding our way back part 10; a choi jongho mini-series

ex-boyfriend! idol! jongho x ex-girlfriend! single-mom! reader

│ series masterlist│ next │

│synopsis: five years have passed since jongho last saw you. your lives have taken drastically different paths, with jongho achieving fame and you focusing on raising your daughter, nari, in quiet anonymity. when jongho discovers he has a daughter, he's determined to be a part of her life.

│genre: a slice of life, romance, fluff, some angst

│trigger warnings: none

│words: 5.1 k

│reminder: what you’re about to read is purely fiction, so let’s keep it separate from reality.

!minors do not interact!

— hi, my lovely people! the moment we've all been waiting for is finally here—the most important part of this story is going live. from the very beginning of fowb, i knew this would be the most nerve-wracking chapter to share, and i can only hope it lives up to your expectations. as we approach the end of this story let me once again thank you for sticking with me on this journey—it truly means the world. i’d love to hear your thoughts, so don’t be shy to share!

as always

love, mon ♡

│taglist: │ @seventeenthingsblr │@DALSUWAHA │

│ @ateez-atiny380 │ @yoonshiiu │ @sndeoki │ @bomi-ja │

│ @vixensss │ @all-fandoms-rise │ @finnydraws │

│ @jonghosbrainrot │ @ateezswonderland │ @stayatinykatsy

│@chickenscoups │ @ana-stasssiaaa │ @starryunho │

│ @originalcupcakenacho │ @ultrapinkvoidbouquet │

│ @sweetinsaniiity│ @jennifermakmur│ @mitchii │

│ @hannah-97 │ @hyuckiesgf │ @treehouse-mouse │

│ @eternoange1│ @ultrapinkvoidbouquet │ @jycas │

│ @velvetskize │ @dumplingsyum │

│ @daisiesandtea123 │ @taegi1016│ @misshella│

│ @e3ellie │ @staytiny94 │ @everglow98 │

│@thedistractedwriter  │ @satans-arse-crack │ @soreberry │

│ @domfikeluva │

│ if you wish to be tagged let me know here! ♡

The CEO's jaw tightened as you interrupted his carefully prepared speech, your voice ringing with maternal authority through the pristine office space. "No, it's you who should be listening to me! Nari is my daughter, and as her only legal guardian, every decision about her future goes through me first - these are my terms and my conditions!" Your words carried the unmistakable weight of years spent as a protective mother, each syllable resonating with fierce determination. The CEO leaned back in his expensive leather chair, clearly taken aback by the intensity of your declaration. His expression underwent a calculated transformation, shifting from initial surprise to careful consideration as he processed your words. You could see the subtle changes in his demeanor as he mentally recalibrated his approach, likely searching for a new angle to maintain his grip on the situation. But you remained steadfast, arms crossed firmly across your chest, and your entire posture made it crystal clear that this wasn't a matter up for negotiation. "So, are you listening well now?" you asked, your eyes boring into his with an intensity that could have melted steel, your voice carrying an edge sharp enough to cut through any corporate pretense.

The CEO shifted uncomfortably in his chair, his usual air of authority diminished in the face of your unwavering stance. His manicured fingers drummed an irregular rhythm against the polished mahogany desk surface before he finally found his voice, choosing his words with careful precision. "I understand your position completely, but you must also consider-"

"No," you cut him off again, leaning forward with renewed intensity, your hands now planted firmly on his desk. "There's absolutely nothing to consider here. So I'll ask you one more time - are you going to listen to what I have to say, or are we going to have a problem?"

The CEO's fingers curled into tight fists against the surface of his desk. After what felt like an eternity of tense silence, he released a long, controlled breath and offered a curt nod of acquiescence. "Very well. Please state your terms."

Drawing yourself up to your full height, you spoke with the kind of unwavering determination that only a protective parent could muster. "First and foremost, there will be absolutely no pressure placed on Jongho to make any public statements or appearances beyond this one carefully controlled interview. His relationship with Nari is entirely private, and it will remain that way until he personally decides he's ready to share more with the world, in whatever manner he chooses."

The CEO's expression remained carefully neutral, but you didn't miss the subtle twitch that betrayed his displeasure. You pressed on, your voice maintaining its steady, authoritative tone. "Second, any and all decisions regarding Nari's involvement in public events or media coverage will go through me first, without exception. I have the final say on everything concerning my daughter, from the smallest photo opportunity to the largest public appearance."

"And third," you leaned forward slightly, your eyes locked with his in an unwavering gaze, "any attempts to use this situation for publicity or profit without my written consent will result in immediate and aggressive legal action."

The silence that followed was thick enough to cut with a knife. The CEO's fingers had ceased their nervous drumming, and his expression had grown increasingly grave as you listed each of your non-negotiable conditions. Finally, he spoke, his voice carefully modulated to hide his obvious displeasure. "These are... rather significant demands you're making."

"They're completely non-negotiable," you repeated without a moment's hesitation, your voice carrying the weight of absolute certainty. "My daughter's well-being comes first. Always. That's not up for discussion."

After what seemed like an endless stretch of contemplation, the CEO nodded slowly, resignation evident in his gesture. "Very well. I'll have our legal team draw up the appropriate paperwork reflecting all of these terms."

"Excellent," you said, straightening your posture with quiet confidence. "I'll have my lawyer review every word before I even consider signing anything."

The CEO cleared his throat uncomfortably, his expression shifting to something that almost resembled hesitation. "There is... one additional matter we need to discuss." He paused meaningfully, making a show of straightening the already perfectly aligned papers on his desk. "The public will naturally expect a certain... narrative to unfold. A happy ending, if you will. They'll want to know about your and Jongho's plans for the future together."

You felt heat rise to your face as you immediately understood his implication, but your voice remained steady and firm. "Our personal relationship is absolutely not up for discussion or public consumption. Whatever happens between Jongho and me will develop naturally, on our own terms and our own timeline."

"A wedding would generate exceptional publicity," the CEO pressed, leaning forward with renewed enthusiasm. "The public absolutely adores a good love story, especially one with such compelling history-"

"Absolutely not," you cut him off sharply, your voice hardening to steel. "Our relationship, our choices, our timeline. The only story being shared right now is about Jongho meeting his daughter. Nothing more, nothing less."

The CEO sat back in his chair, clearly disappointed but seemingly wise enough not to push the issue further. "Very well," he conceded with a slight nod of resignation. "But you should keep in mind that the public will inevitably draw their own conclusions regardless of our official stance."

"Let them speculate all they want," you replied with ice in your voice. "But they'll do it without any official statement or guidance from your company. Are we absolutely clear on that point?"

The CEO leaned forward again, his expression hardening with renewed determination. "We are not positioned as your adversaries in this situation. The public - particularly those fans who might refuse to accept this story, who will dig relentlessly and create endless speculation - represent the real threat here. You need to carefully consider Jongho's position in all of this."

"Don't you dare attempt to use Jongho to manipulate this situation. I've spent years protecting my daughter from exactly this kind of pressure and endless speculation. I won't stop now, regardless of the circumstances."

"This situation extends beyond just your daughter now," the CEO countered, his voice rising slightly with frustration. "Jongho's career, his carefully built reputation-"

"Are precisely why we're having this detailed conversation," you cut in firmly, "I'm actively protecting both of them. The more you attempt to control and manipulate this situation, the more suspicious and intrusive the public will become. A clean, simple truth is our absolute best defense against speculation."

The CEO sighed heavily, pinching the bridge of his nose in evident frustration. "And what happens when that approach proves insufficient? When they start camping outside your home? Following Nari to her school?"

"Then we will handle those challenges together, me and Jongho, as a family," you stated, your voice carrying absolute conviction. "But it will be handled entirely on our terms, not yours."

The silence stretched between you for a long moment as you let your words sink in. Finally, the CEO's shoulders slumped almost imperceptibly, a sign of grudging acceptance. "Alright," he conceded, reaching for his phone. "I'll have the legal team begin drafting the paperwork immediately. But remember, once this story breaks, there's no going back."

You met his gaze with unwavering determination, "I'm well aware. But I'd rather face whatever comes our way honestly and on our own terms than try to manipulate public perception with carefully crafted narratives." Rising from your chair, you gathered your belongings with deliberate calm. "Have your legal team send over the paperwork when it's ready. Until then, we're done here."

As you walked out of the CEO's office, your steps were steady but your mind was racing. The weight of what lay ahead - the public revelation, the media storm that would follow, the challenges your little family would face - pressed heavily on your shoulders. But there was also a fierce pride in knowing you had stood your ground, protecting both your daughter and Jongho with every ounce of strength you possessed.

As you made your way down the hallway, a familiar voice called out behind you. "Y/N! Wait up!" You turned to see Hongjoong jogging to catch up, his expression a mix of concern and determination.

"I heard what happened in there," he said, falling into step beside you. "Are you okay? That couldn't have been easy, standing up to the CEO like that."

You let out a long breath, some of the tension finally leaving your shoulders. "I had to do it. Not only for Nari, but for Jongho as well. I won't let them turn this into some kind of media circus."

Hongjoong nodded sympathetically, his eyes reflecting understanding. "You know we've got your back, right? All of us - we'll help protect both of them, whatever it takes."

"Hongjoong, I just wanted to than—"

"Don't thank me," he interrupted, his voice gentle but firm. "That's what family does. And like it or not, you're stuck with all of us now." A playful smile tugged at his lips. "Even Wooyoung, though I know he can be a handful."

A small laugh escaped you, some of the tension finally melting from your shoulders. "I suppose I should be grateful for that. Having all of you in our corner means more than you know." You paused at the elevator, turning to face Hongjoong with sincere gratitude in your eyes. "Thank you, really. For everything."

Hongjoong's smile softened as he pressed the elevator button. "Hey, how about we make this a regular thing? Coffee, I mean. Not the intense CEO confrontations." He chuckled warmly. "It would be nice to catch up properly, without all the drama."

"I'd like that," you replied, a genuine smile spreading across your face. The elevator doors opened with a soft ding, and you both stepped inside.

"Perfect," Hongjoong said, his eyes crinkling with warmth. "I know this great little café just around the corner from my building. They make the best americano in Seoul."

You smiled, the warmth of friendship helping to ease some of the lingering tension from the confrontation. "That sounds perfect."

"Here," Hongjoong said, pulling out his phone. "Let me get your number. That way we can set up our coffee dates properly."

You nodded, reciting your number as he typed it into his phone. A moment later, your own phone buzzed with a message.

"Now you have mine too," he said with a warm smile. "And don't be surprised if the others start messaging you as well. Once San finds out I have your number, he won't rest until he gets it too."

You couldn't help but laugh, already imagining the chaos that would ensue. "I suppose I better prepare myself for that then."

The elevator doors opened to the ground floor, and as you stepped out into the lobby, you couldn't help but feel a strange mix of exhaustion and determination. The battle with the CEO had drained you, but knowing you had allies like Hongjoong and the others gave you strength.

"Hey," Hongjoong said, glancing at his watch. "Have you eaten yet? There's this great little place nearby that serves amazing chicken. The others might join us too, if you're up for some company?"

"I'd love to," you replied, feeling drained but grateful for the company. "I could definitely use the distraction right now. Plus, it would be nice to meet everyone properly."

Hongjoong's face lit up with a warm smile. "Perfect! I'll message the group chat. Knowing them, they're probably already hovering nearby, waiting to hear how everything went." He pulled out his phone and started typing rapidly. "Seonghwa's been especially worried about you. He keeps saying we need to make sure you're not dealing with all this alone."

"He's sweet," you said softly, touched by their concern. "They all are. I never expected to have so much support through all of this."

"That's what family's for," Hongjoong replied simply, pocketing his phone. "Come on, the boys will meet us at the restaurant in a few."

Your phone buzzed in your pocket, interrupting your thoughts. Pulling it out, you saw a message from Hyunwoo:

Hyunwoo: Y/N I’m so sorry. Can we please talk?

You felt your stomach drop but forced yourself to take a steadying breath. This could wait. Slipping your phone back into your pocket, you turned your attention back to Hongjoong, determined not to let Hyunwoo's message ruin this moment. Right now, you needed the comfort and support of your newfound family more than anything. As you walked with Hongjoong toward the restaurant, the weight of Hyunwoo's message sat heavily in your pocket, but the warmth of this new friendship and support surrounding you helped ease the burden.

Hongjoong, catching your change in expression, paused mid-step. "Hey, what's wrong? Did something happen?"

You hesitated for a moment. "It's just Hyunwoo, he's... a friend of mine. He texted me that he wants to talk."

Hongjoong's expression hardened slightly at the name Jongho had mentioned a few days earlier. "Do you want to talk to him?"

You shook your head. "No," you replied firmly, "Whatever he has to say can wait. I need time to process what happened."

Hongjoong glanced at you with concern. "Did he upset you? The boys can wait if you need to talk."

"There's just so too much to unpack when it comes to Hyunwoo," you chuckled nervously, running a hand through your hair.

"Well," Hongjoong's eyes sparkled with warmth, "that's exactly what our coffee dates are for. We'll have plenty of time to sort everything out over americanos."

You smiled warmly at his words, feeling a deep sense of gratitude for how quickly Hongjoong had become such a steadfast ally. The promise of future coffee dates and honest conversations felt like a lifeline during all this chaos. As you both continued walking, the weight of Hyunwoo's message seemed to fade just a little, replaced by the comforting knowledge that you weren't facing any of this alone. Not anymore.

The ice cream shop was bustling with afternoon customers when Jongho and Nari walked in, the little bell above the door announcing their arrival. The sweet, sugary aroma of freshly baked waffle cones wafted through the air as they made their way inside. Nari's eyes grew wide at the array of colorful ice cream flavors, she pressed her small hands eagerly against the display case, bouncing on her tiptoes.

"Uncle! Look at all the colors!" she exclaimed, her eyes darting from one flavor to another. Her voice rose with growing enthusiasm as she pointed out each enticing option. "Can I try that pink one? And the blue one? Oh, and that sparkly purple one!"

Jongho's hands trembled slightly as he watched her infectious enthusiasm, his heart racing with the weight of what he was about to do. Despite the nervous energy coursing through him, he couldn't help but smile tenderly at her. "We can order whatever you want, princess. In fact, why don't you pick something special for me too?"

"Really?" Nari's entire face lit up with the responsibility of this important mission, her eyes sparkling. She studied the flavors with intense concentration, her small finger tapping thoughtfully against her chin. After several moments of deep contemplation, she announced her verdict with pride: "You should try the cookie dough! And maybe salted caramel too with pink sprinkles! They'll taste amazing together!”

Jongho chuckled at her enthusiastic suggestion, "That sounds perfect, sweetheart. You have excellent taste."

After what felt like an eternity of deliberation (and several sample tastes), they emerged into the garden area with their creations: Nari's towering cone of strawberry, blueberry cheesecake, and cotton candy ice cream, decorated with an alarming amount of sprinkles, strawberry sauce, and gummy bears, and Jongho's more modest but equally special combination of cookie dough and caramel, picked with such care by his little ice cream consultant. Jongho guided them to the furthest table, tucked away in a quiet corner under a striped umbrella. The afternoon sun was warm but gentle, with occasional fluffy white clouds drifting lazily across the blue sky. He watched as Nari attacked her ice cream with enthusiasm, his own stomach too knotted with nerves to even think about eating.

"Is it good?" he asked softly, dabbing at a spot of ice cream on her cheek with a napkin, the gentle gesture making his heart ache with all the years of moments like this he'd missed.

"It's the best!" she beamed, her smile so bright it made his hands shake even more. "Mommy never lets me get this many toppings! Why aren’t you eating Uncle? Do you not like yours?"

Jongho took a deep breath, his fingers fidgeting with the napkin on the table. "Actually, Nari... there's something really important I wanted to talk to you about." He paused, watching as she tilted her head curiously, ice cream momentarily forgotten.

"Yes?" she nodded, focused on catching a drip of ice cream before it reached her hand.

Jongho felt his courage slipping away. He adjusted his fringe nervously and let out a shaky breath. "Um... what's your favorite thing about mommy?" he asked, inwardly chiding himself for his hesitation.

Nari's face lit up instantly at the mention of you, her ice cream temporarily forgotten. "Oh! I love everything about mommy! She gives the best hugs, and she makes funny voices when she reads me stories, and she always knows how to make me feel better when I'm sad!" She paused to take another lick of her ice cream before continuing, "What do you like about Mommy, Uncle?"

Jongho's expression softened, a gentle smile tugging at his lips as he thought about you. "Everything," he said softly, his voice full of warmth. "I love how kind and caring she is, how she can make me laugh, and..." He trailed off, gathering his courage before continuing, "That's actually what I wanted to talk to you about, Nari."

Nari's eyes sparkled with curiosity as she carefully set down her ice cream cone. "You wanted to talk about Mommy? Is this because you love her? Uncle San says you do, and Uncle Wooyoung says you have loved Mommy for a while now" she declared matter-of-factly, swinging her legs beneath the table.

Jongho laughed softly, rubbing the back of his neck. "Well, you shouldn't believe everything your uncles say, especially Uncle Wooyoung. He likes to joke a lot, you know?"

Nari's eyes widened with concern, "So... you don't love Mommy?" she asked, her lower lip starting to tremble slightly.

"No, no, that's not it at all," Jongho quickly reassured her, reaching across the table to gently take her small hand in his. "I..." Jongho hesitated, his heart pounding in his chest. "Actually, sweetheart, that's exactly what I wanted to talk to you about. I care about your mommy very much, and... I care about you too."

"Mommy's always by herself," Nari unexpectedly said with a big frowny face. "It's just me and Mommy all the time! Mommy says Daddy has a lot of work." She looks at Jongho with her biggest puppy eyes. "In my princess movies, the princess gets a super nice prince who gives her big hugs! And they live happily ever after!" She stops to eat a bite of her melty ice cream, pink and blue all mixed up as she thinks really hard, her tiny tongue sticking out as she tries not to spill any. "I want mommy to have a prince who can sing pretty songs for her and play with us lots!" she says in her small voice, her bottom lip doing a wobble as she adds, "and maybe not be too busy to play with us."

Jongho's heart clenched at her words, he set down his barely-touched ice cream, gathering his courage before asking softly, "Nari... has your mommy ever told you about your daddy?"

Nari nodded, her voice becoming quieter. "Mommy says he loves me very much, but he had to go away for a while." Her bottom lip quivered again. "I really want to meet him. Mommy gets sad sometimes when she thinks I'm sleeping. I hear her crying. I think she misses Daddy too. Do you think he'll like me, Uncle Jongho?"

Jongho felt tears welling up in his eyes as he squeezed Nari's tiny hand. "Sweetheart," he whispered, his voice thick with emotion, "your daddy already loves you more than anything in the world." Jongho took a deep, steadying breath, his heart pounding so hard he could feel it in his throat. This was it - the moment that would change everything. His hands trembled slightly as he gathered his courage, knowing there was no turning back now. "Nari," he started gently, "do you remember the last time you and Mommy talked about your daddy?"

Nari's face scrunched up in concentration, and then suddenly, her eyes lit up and she practically jumped in her seat. "Oh! Oh! I remember!" she exclaimed, "Mommy and I had ice cream just like today! She promised that Daddy would take me next time!" She beamed at the memory before tilting her head curiously. "Uncle Jongho, why are you crying?" Jongho quickly wiped at his eyes, but the tears kept falling, leaving glistening trails down his cheeks. His hands trembled as he reached across the table, gently taking Nari's sticky little hand in his. "Nari, sweetheart," he began, his voice wavering with emotion, "what if... what if I told you that your daddy is here right now?" His heart thundered in his chest as he watched her eyes grow wide with wonder.

"Really?" she whispered, looking around excitedly. "Where? Where is he?"

Jongho swallowed hard, his heart racing, "It's me, princess," he whispered, "I'm your daddy." The words hung in the air between them as Nari's eyes widened. Time seemed to stand still as father and daughter looked at each other, truly seeing each other for the first time. Tears streamed freely down his face now as he watched understanding slowly dawn in her innocent eyes. For a long moment, Nari just stared at him, her mouth forming a perfect little 'o'. Then, with trembling lips and eyes filling with tears, she whispered, "Really? You're my daddy?"

Jongho nodded, unable to speak past the lump in his throat. His heart felt like it might burst from his chest as he watched a thousand emotions flicker across his daughter's face.

"But... but why didn't you tell me before? When we were dancing and singing and... and..." Her voice broke as tears spilled down her cheeks.

In an instant, Jongho was around the table, kneeling beside her chair. "I wanted to tell you every single day," he said softly, gently wiping her tears away. "Every time I saw you smile, every time you danced, every time you sang... my heart was screaming to tell you. I was just... Daddy was so scared." Without warning, Nari threw herself into his arms, her small body shaking with sobs.

"Daddy," she hiccupped against his neck, "My daddy..." Jongho held her tightly, his own tears falling freely into her hair as he rocked her gently.

"I'm here now, love," he whispered. "I'm here, and I'm never going away again. I promise." They stayed like that for a long while, Nari clung to her dad and he held her close. All the years of separation seemed to melt away, replaced by the pure, overwhelming joy of a father and daughter finally united.

After a few moments, Nari pulled back slightly, her face still wet with tears but now beaming with a smile that could light up the darkest night. "Can we have ice cream together every weekend now, Daddy?" she asked hopefully, her eyes sparkling with newfound joy. Jongho laughed softly, his heart swelling with love as he gently wiped away the remaining tears from her cheeks.

"Of course we can, princess," he promised, kissing the top of her head. "We can have ice cream, go dancing, sing songs - anything you want."

Nari's eyes lit up even brighter if that was possible. "Yes! Yes! Can Mommy come too? Please, daddy? We can all have ice cream together and maybe you can sing for her like you do in your shows!"

Jongho's heart melted at her enthusiasm. "I would love that more than anything in the world, princess. We can all be together - you, me, and Mommy. How does that sound?"

"Like a happy ever after!" Nari exclaimed, throwing her arms around his neck once more. "Can we..." Nari pulled back slightly, her eyes red but shining with hope, "can we go tell Mommy? I want to tell her I found my daddy!"

Jongho laughed softly, his heart so full it felt like it might overflow. "Of course we can, princess. Let's go tell mommy together."

"Come here, my precious princess," Jongho said gently, his eyes softening as he noticed the colorful swirls of melted ice cream decorating her tiny hands and the sweet sticky residue around her bright smile. "Let's get you all cleaned up first, shall we?"

He guided her to the ice cream shop's bathroom with careful steps, his strong hands secure around her waist as he lifted her up to reach the sink properly. With the tender care that came so naturally now, he helped her wash her hands, creating a gentle lather of soap that transformed into a mountain of playful bubbles. Nari giggled delightedly as he made sure to clean between each tiny finger, taking extra care with the spaces where the sticky ice cream had made its home. "Just look at my little ice cream explorer," he teased softly, his voice warm as he dampened a paper towel with warm water. With the infinite gentleness that only a father's heart could summon, he carefully began to clean away the sweet evidence of their afternoon treat, dabbing softly at the sticky patches that decorated her rosy cheeks and around her mouth.

Nari scrunched up her nose adorably as he cleaned her face, but remained perfectly still, her curious eyes fixed on his reflection in the mirror.

"Look, Daddy!" she exclaimed excitedly, pointing at their reflections in the mirror. "We have the same nose!" Her eyes sparkled with delight as she glanced back and forth between their reflections, studying their features with childlike wonder. Jongho felt his own eyes well up with tears as he watched her make silly faces in the mirror, comparing their features with such innocent joy. He could see it too - the same nose, the same curve of the smile, even the same cheeks. The moment was so precious, so perfect, that he wished he could freeze time and live in it forever. The trust in her gaze made his heart swell as she asked with innocent wonder, "Is this how daddies do it?"

"Yes, sweetheart," he replied, "This is exactly what daddies do - we take care of our precious little ones." He gave her nose a playful little tap with the paper towel, delighting in the sound of her giggles echoing off the bathroom walls. "There we go," he said finally, carefully helping her down from her perch by the sink. "All clean and beautiful, sparkling just like the princess you are. Ready to go see Mommy?"

Nari nodded enthusiastically, her eyes sparkling with renewed excitement as she grabbed Jongho's hand. "Yes, daddy! I can't wait to tell Mommy!" she exclaimed, practically bouncing on her tiptoes.

Hand in hand, father and daughter made their way back to the car. Nari skipped along beside Jongho, occasionally looking up at him with wonder in her eyes as if making sure he was still really there. "Daddy?" she asked, swinging their joined hands. "Can you teach me more songs? I want to sing as pretty as you do!"

Jongho's heart swelled at the word 'daddy' - he didn't think he'd ever get tired of hearing it. "I'd love to teach you, princess. We can practice together every day if you want."

"Really?" Nari bounced excitedly. "And can we surprise Mommy with a special song?"

Jongho chuckled, helping her into her car seat. "That's a wonderful idea. What kind of song should we sing for her?"

"A love song!" Nari declared confidently, beaming up at him. "Because you love Mommy, right Daddy?"

Jongho felt his cheeks flush as he buckled her in. "Yes, princess. I love your Mommy very much."

"I knew it!" Nari clapped her hands triumphantly. "Uncle Wooyoung was right! He's going to be so happy when I tell him!"

Jongho let out a soft chuckle, reaching back to ruffle her hair. "Actually, princess, I have a special mission for you. Think you can help me with something very important?"

"Yes! Yes!" Nari bounced in her car seat, eyes sparkling with excitement. "I'm really good at special missions!"

"Well," Jongho said, "I want to tell Mommy how much I love her in a really special way. But it needs to be a surprise. Can you keep our little ice cream talk a secret for now? Just until Daddy plans something really magical?"

Nari's eyes widened, and she pressed her tiny fingers to her lips. "Like a surprise party? With balloons and cake and everything?"

"Even better than that," Jongho promised, his heart warming at her enthusiasm. "But we have to be super secretive about it. Can you be Daddy's special secret keeper?"

Nari nodded solemnly, making an exaggerated zipping motion across her lips. "I won't tell anyone! Not even Uncle Wooyoung! I'm the best at keeping secrets!" Nari suddenly reached up, tugging at Jongho's sleeve as he finished buckling her seatbelt. "Daddy?" she whispered, her eyes shining with pure joy, "I'm really happy you're my Daddy." She pushed herself up in her car seat, planting a soft kiss on his forehead that made his heart melt completely.

Jongho felt his own tears welling up again as he gently kissed the top of her head. "I'm the happiest in the whole world," he whispered.

As he started the car, he caught her reflection in the rearview mirror - her tiny face beaming with pure happiness - and he knew that no matter what challenges lay ahead, this moment made everything worth it.

"Can I tell you something, princess?" Jongho asked softly as they drove.

"What is it, daddy?" Nari replied, swinging her legs happily in her car seat.

"I used to dream about this moment," he confessed, his voice gentle. "About finally telling you the truth. About holding you in my arms and hearing you call me 'daddy.' And now that it's real... it's even better than my dreams."

"Really?" Nari's eyes sparkled. "I used to dream about my daddy too! I would imagine what you looked like and what your voice sounded like. And you're even better than my dreams too!"

Jongho had to blink back tears. "You know what else?" he asked, his voice slightly shaky.

"What?" Nari leaned forward in her seat, eager to hear more.

"From now on, we don't have to dream anymore. Because we have each other for real."

"Forever and ever?" Nari asked hopefully.

"Forever and ever," Jongho promised. "That's what daddies are for."

♡│if you enjoy my writing please consider supporting me by tagging and reblogging│

[yayakoishii]

Please please please!! Sanji x reader request during whole cake island where sanji and reader were already a thing prior to the event and how torn up sanji is over it. Especially if they still hadn't said I love you yet and sanji is realizing that yes he loves reader and wants to marry them but he can't cause he wants to protect them and everyone. Reader having a similar realization/crying to the crew about it and Luffy going, nope this is happening I'm a captain and I'm marrying you two (let's pretend he learned captains can marry people from shanks but he still doesn't know what marriage is just that he can do this so he wants to do it)

Yours To Love | Sanji x Reader

Fandom: One Piece

Pairing: Vinsmoke Sanji x GN! Reader

Word Count: 2.9k

Genre/Tags: Angst, Fluff, Happy Ending, Love Confession, Spoilers for Wholecake Island arc

A/n: I hope I'm not too late anon!! I think it's been a week or so since you sent this, so I hope you get to see this <3 I really sat down and wrote this in one sitting like a possessed person hahahah~ Thank you for the request and I hope this is to your liking (⁠*⁠´⁠ω⁠｀⁠*⁠) I tweaked your request very very minorly but I enjoyed writing it a lot!

Also available on ao3!

Seeing Sanji again was like seeing the sun after weeks and weeks of never-ending rain.

It hadn't been more than a week or two since you had separated in Dressrosa but being a part of the strawhat crew meant you could never catch a break for too long. When you heard what Sanji had done from Nami and the others, a small part of you hurt that maybe, just maybe, you weren't enough for Sanji.

The next moment you had discarded the thought completely and felt horrible for even thinking that way about Sanji. You knew he would never lie to you. You knew, more than anyone on the crew, just how much he truly enjoyed being a part of the crew. Your insecurity over how Sanji and you hadn't yet spoken of love made no difference to the fact that Sanji would never choose to leave the crew.

Maybe he didn't love you back but he loved the crew. So him choosing to go to the tea party where he would be married off was a sign that he must believe either that he can: (a) handle it by himself and make it back no problem, or (b) the situation was dangerous and he wanted to take care of it himself in a way that wouldn't harm the crew. You were more inclined towards b, considering this was Big Mom and Germa 66 that were being talked about.

You wanted to go get Sanji back too but the rest of the crew who had fought in Dressrosa was going to Wano and you were probably expected to do the same. But Sanji was still your boyfriend. He was yours, and he was going to get married off to some girl you had never heard of before today, and your heart refused to accept it. You refused to let him go. He was yours to hold, yours to keep and yours to love. You would get him back even if you had to fight Luffy to join them.

Thankfully, you didn't have to fight him at all. When you meekly suggested joining them, your captain had just tilted his head in confusion and said, "Huh? What do you mean? Of course you're coming. I was going to take you along the whole time."

And now half of the crew was here in Totto land, and Luffy had just defeated Cracker and Kingbaum was taking you three to the castle where Sanji was supposed to be. Instead, you had stumbled across Germa 66 midway and after days, you were finally seeing the face of the man you loved so deeply that it hurt.

"We've come to take you back!" Luffy was hanging onto the coach while you and Nami were still on the running Kingbaum and you could make out Sanji's face from a distance. You were smiling so hard upon seeing him look okay. He wasn't hurt. Good. Suddenly, he turned and kicked Luffy off the coach and you gasped.

"Hey!" Nami was equally shocked. "What was that for, Sanji?!"

"Get lost," Sanji said, his face unlike any he had ever shown the crew, "you miserable inferior pirates."

You considered the possibility that it could be a Germa clone. But there was no way they would take a close to the tea party when they already had done the effort of getting the real deal to come there.

"My name is Vinsmoke Sanji and I am a prince of Germa kingdom!"

He had never told you that in the few months of your relationship. You knew there was something he wasn't telling you but you had never pried because you knew that the reason Sanji wasn't mentioning it was probably because it was something that didn't matter. Germa was supposed to be a thing of his past– and it was supposed to stay there for the rest of his life. Except it had come back, like cockroaches are apt to do, and brought a storm into your lives.

You just stood there, listening to Sanji make claims that were like stabs to your heart continuously. For your situation, your mind felt thunderously calm. You were noting the laughter of his ‘brothers’ in the back, the way Sanji was staring with steely eyes at Luffy and hadn't met your eyes even once, the rigid muscles of his face as he spoke about how he would be getting married to Big Mom's beautiful daughter.

Maybe someone would say you are in denial, but you refused to believe it. Sanji was spouting a load of bullshit and it was making laughter bubble up in your throat. You only kept it down because this wasn't the time or place for it. The Sanji you knew would never say these words, unless he believed it was the only way he could keep you all safe.

"Don't get involved! I'll drive him off."

You couldn't say a word as you watched Sanji and Luffy start fighting. You had never thought you would see this one day. Your heart was hurting and your mind was a huge mess of thoughts but all you could focus on was how much Sanji must be hurting.

He must be wanting to come back home to the Sunny with you. He had told you in the dark covers of night when you two had made love, that there was no place more appropriate than with the crew that he thought of when he thought of the word ‘home’. The boy who had said that to you could never say these words and mean them. He would only say it if it meant protecting his home and his crew.

You watched as Luffy didn't hit back even once and kept taking hit after hit. Silent tears were already streaming down your face from watching Sanji's emotional hurt and Luffy's physical one. You wished this was a nightmare.

When Sanji knocked out Luffy, you finally exhaled and slowly walked over to him. Nami had already gotten past you and slapped him in the face, saying goodbye to him. You stared at Sanji when you were close enough. His head that had turned from the impact of Nami's slap didn't turn to look at yours, as if you were invisible. You let out a shaky exhale and smiled weakly at him.

"I guess," you swallowed as you placed a gentle hand on the cheek Nami was slapped and watched him flinch just slightly under your touch, "even if I said ‘Come back home with me, Sanji’, you wouldn't change your mind, huh?"

He still wouldn't look at you and he didn't respond, but his hand came up to rest over yours. He gave it a gentle squeeze, the way he always did when he would apologise to you for anything. You told your aching heart that it was fine. This wouldn't be the last time you see Sanji.

"This is farewell then," you said quietly, just low enough for only him to hear as your hand slipped away. "I hope you are happy wherever you are. Because if you were doing this for us, then you should know that we'll never be complete without you. And, foolish as I am, I won't be happy without you."

You turned away without looking at him and instead walked back to Luffy and Nami, your eyes threatening to spill tears you did not wish him to see. If this was truly the last time you would see Sanji, you wanted his last memory of you to be of you smiling at him.

You heard Sanji get back up and the carriage drawing away. Luffy got up and started shouting again. Your lips quivered, your back to the road as you looked at your captain. "You can kick me all you want, but you're the one feeling the pain!"

For all his idiocy and no brain cell moments, you knew how well Luffy knew all his crewmates. He may not show it most days, but he understood you all the best. You watched him scream some more, crying harder and harder until he ended with, "Without you, I can't become the pirate king!!"

They were gone after that and in the silence, you could finally feel the flood of thoughts wash over you once again, one thought the most prominent of all. You truly loved Sanji. You had never told him but you loved every inch of him, more than you had ever realised until this moment, when your heart was afraid that it would never be able to tell Sanji this.

"I don't know what I should do," you mumbled, covering your face in your hands. You could feel Nami's comforting arms around your shoulders. "I love him. I love that idiot. Who cares if he's a prince, a beggar or even a Marine?! No matter what he is, in every universe, I would still fall in love with him. I love him so much and I have to stand and watch him marry someone else, all while I keep thinking that it should be me. I want to be the one next to him on the altar and I've, I've lost my chance to tell him."

"No, you haven't," Luffy said firmly from where he was lying. Your tears were starting to dry up and you turned to look at your captain. His face was determined. "Sanji will come. And you will marry him."

"How are we gonna do that, huh?" You chuckled wetly as you settled down next to Luffy.

"We'll get him back and you'll ask him to marry you," Luffy said simply, "and then he will say yes and then, I will marry you two off."

"You'll be our officiant, Luffy?" You giggled. You didn't know what it was about him, but Luffy could make you believe in the most impossible of things. There was already a big part of you that felt at peace from his words. It would work out somehow. If it's Luffy, then anything is possible.

"I heard of it from two of Shanks' crewmates as a kid," he said, giving you a wide grin. "I didn't think I'd ever need to do it but I've looked into it ever since you two started dating. It was getting a little boring waiting for you two though. I was going to ask you two to marry if you took any longer."

"Oh god," you wheezed, feeling insane for laughing at this moment. "That would have been hilarious. A crazy story to tell if someone asked us ‘who proposed’ and we would have to answer ‘Luffy’!"

Your words were cut off by the arrival of clouds from Big Mom's rage. It was time for you to get Sanji back.

•

Pudding's words should hurt somewhere, Sanji thought to himself absent-mindedly from where he was hiding. He had brought the flowers and he had tried to convince himself that his marriage with Pudding could make him happy and it would keep the crew safe. But, she didn't love him the way you did. She could be the kindest, nicest person in the whole world, but she wasn't you.

You, who had seen him through his worst, who had personally tended to his wounds both physical and emotional, who had looked like a heavenly being under him, who had smiled at him despite his secrets, who understood him on such a fundamental level– you were the apple of his eye, the love of his life.

Pudding's words should have hurt but they didn't because he knew that her opinion of him had no impact on your opinion of him. And even if the whole world hated him, you never would. Sanji had thought that this would be where you draw the line. That you would finally get fed up with him and leave. No one even stayed with him in the first place and you had done it for so long that he was afraid you would leave. What he had done at this point would have been enough for anyone else to get angry and slap him.

And yet, when he had seen you there, he knew he couldn't look into your eyes. One look and his resolve would crumble. Because there was no mistaking what he felt towards you whenever he looked into your eyes that seemed to hold the whole world. He truly loved you from the bottom of his heart. There was no one else in this world who he wanted to spend the rest of his life with.

It had to be you. It could only be you.

And yet, he didn't have much of a choice in this whole matter, did he? Sanji just walked away, thinking and thinking about what he should do.

About how he could get back home to you.

•

When all was said and done and all of you were back on the Sunny, making your way to Wano, Luffy just placed a hand on your shoulder and said with his most serious face, "You better do it fast or I will do it on your behalf."

"Shut up," you weakly punched him in the shoulder and rolled your eyes– but your heart was happy. Neither you nor Sanji had talked about anything the whole time you were escaping. You had just hugged him silently and he had done the same; you knew there would be time to talk later. And that time was now. "Sanji?"

"Hm?" Sanji looked up from where he was cooking in the kitchen. After hearing the mess the crew had made with cooking, he had slipped back into his role as always. The sight of him chopping vegetables on the kitchen counter of the Thousand Sunny made your heart warm up. "Sweethea–(y/n)."

He switched from the endearing term to your name, looking nervous. He was probably thinking about how he didn't deserve to call you that anymore, huh?

"Am I no longer your sweetheart?" You asked teasingly as you crossed over to stand across the counter from him. He looked at you, scared yet hopeful. "Did you change your mind about me after seeing, ah, Pudding, wasn't it?"

"No, my love!" He cried out, hands shooting upwards to take you into his arms but he stopped just in time. He didn't know if you still wanted him to touch you. Somehow, it felt like the two of you from all those months back, when you hadn't yet started dating. "This whole time… I couldn't think of anything but how I have wronged you the most out of everyone. I do not feel worthy to be on the receiving end of your love."

"Shouldn't I get to decide that?" You retorted, leaning over the counter. You grabbed him by the collar and pulled him close. It had been too long since you had kissed your golden boy. "If you're the one I love and if you're the one my heart has decided it wants to marry, then you're already worthy, silly boy. You aren't a man until you realise that you're worthy of all the love in this world."

You ended up saying it all in a teasing manner but you could see the shock in his eyes at your words. The silence stretched over the kitchen awkwardly and your smile wavered for a second.

"You better say yes," you huffed to yourself, "because I don't think Luffy made a plan for you refusing my proposal."

Sanji was confused for all of one second before he was nodding, gently pushing aside the vegetables he was cutting so he could slide over the top of the counter to you. He cradled your face in his hands, holding you reverently as he placed kisses all over your face. You flushed under the attention, feeling home at last.

"This feels too much like a dream," he admitted, knocking his forehead on yours. "That you would still want me, that you would still love me… Despite all my mistakes, in spite of how I've wronged you, you're still here."

"I love you with all my heart," you admitted to him. "I love you for who you are Sanji, flaws and all. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. If, if you happen to feel the same…"

"Don't be silly," he interrupted you, so unlike himself. "If I shouldn't doubt my worth, you shouldn't doubt my love either. I may not have ever said it before this, but I truly do love you so much."

Sanji pulled you into a kiss and you let him, your arms tightening around his waist. You had been so wrong back then. You had been scared that that would be the last time you're seeing him but right now, you knew that this was the start of seeing Sanji every day for the rest of your lives.

"C'mon then," you giggled after the two of you had made out for a while. "Gotta tell Luffy."

"Why?" Sanji was baffled. "What's Luffy got to do with any of this?"

"Hey now, our captain kindly offered to marry the two of us off, you know."

"He what?!"

"He was also ready to propose on my behalf. You better be happy I beat him to it."

"I don't even know what to say."

"Just let me do the talking, how about that?"

"But of course, sweetheart! ♡"

°•❀•°

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[locketsvault]

「 JEALOUSLY IS A GREEN BUG 」

pairing: ranpo edogawa x gender neutral reader

tags: gender neutral reader, established relationship, jealousy senario, nsfw ending, they/them pronouns used, first person

warnings: the ending isn’t too explicit but it is nsfw, not proof read

request: May I request jealousy(not toxic ofc) hcs for bsd men(specifically ranpo), gn reader of course, can be both sfw and nsfw! scenario can be reader speaking to someone for too long or someone flirts with reader in front of them (original request found here.)

word count: 867

a/n: I decided to do a scenario with just ranpo, since I wouldn’t mind making this a mini series later on. It may also be be ooc bc I struggle writing dialogue for him.

Ranpo has never been one to enjoy official work style parties. The only exception is the ones the ada throw, but it’s a lot more like a family than buisness. Plus, he gets all his sweets. But dressing up nice and putting on a fake smile to guilt trip people into whatever you need? Not him. He’s also became aware that he’s just not the kind of person to have at events like that. The only exception is for you.

You and a co worker got promoted and there was an official event for it. You had asked your boyfriend to come to the event with you. And knowing it meant a lot to you, he agreed. While usually he’s very stubborn, when it comes to you he’s willing to push himself a bit and give in.

He warned you that he had a case to work on and would come by a little late, but you didn’t mind. Before you started dating you both communicated that he may get pulled away when you need him, and you reassured that it would be okay. It was his job, and he saved people after all. So you two arrived separately.

It didn’t take him long at all to finish the case, and thirty minutes after you got to the building he showed up. He made his way immediately over to where he believed you’d be, not really greeting anyone else. Those who’s worked with you for a while was. It surprised at all, and knew better than trying to talk to him.

When he finally found you, you were talking to a co worker, one he didn’t recognize. Upon closer inspection the co worker seemed to be flirting with you. You obviously didn’t seem amused, but you were trying to be polite. That was the difference between you two. He could care less about hurting others feelings. But you always did.

He stood by watching amused, albeit a bit jealous. He was curious what you’d do to stop him. And he trusted you enough to handle it yourself. But when you tried to excuse yourself, and the co worker grabbed your arm, his amusement was snuffed out immediately. A flash of discomfort washed over you, added on by the fact a strange man was touching you, he was ready to step in and tear him to shreds.

Other co workers who saw what happened and watched Ranpo walk up to you two knew trouble was about to start, but some of them were ready for the show. They were aware of how unhinged he could be. And for many, this was the first time they saw his eyes open, glued to your form.

“I’m sorry I’m late dearest, another idiot thought he could get away with murder.” He said with a sickeningly sweet smile. “You, I don’t know who you are, and I don’t care. It’s obvious they’re not interested, so why do you think you have the right to touch them?”

As he spoke he wrapped his arm around your waist, watching with his bright green eyes as the man turned red and immediately let you go. He started stammering out apologies, but Ranpo attention quickly left him once he let go. He was calm enough to know you didn’t like it when he made scenes at your work. Huffing, his arm moved from your waist to your hand, dragging you off to an area no one else was at.

He pinned you to the wall, whines escaping his lips as he nuzzled his face into your neck. You couldn’t help but gasp, not expecting the action, despite how clingy he can be. His voice returned to its usual playful tone as he whined out “why does everyone constantly try to take you from me?”

He nipped your neck a few times before sighing and just resting your head in your neck, his hands resting on the wall next to your torso. You brought a hand up, raking it through his hair.

“Are you… jealous?” You asked, slightly amused at his actions. He was trying not to mark you right now, you could tell.

“So what if I am? Every time I go out with you people hit on you! And then they try to take you from me. I don’t like it.” He whined out, pulling away to glare at you, as if the question was obvious, as if you were trying to tease him.

You knew because of his past jealousy was something he struggled with, despite how much he may try to hide it. He handled it well honestly, he never accused you of anything, never got mad at you for what others try to do, never tried to control you. But you could see it in his eyes.

You cooed, cupping his cheek and bringing your lips close to his. “You have nothing to be jealous over, I’m yours, only yours.”

He didn’t respond, instead pulling your head closer to kiss you, a hint of desperation in the pressure of the kiss. You could tell, you both needed to leave. Your jealous baby needed taking care of. And you were happy to comply.

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[beansandsprouts]

Sunshine (Part 2)

Part 1

Summary: Bucky interacts with you here and there and finds himself feeling more connected to you. Driving him to want to see your soulmate mark even more.

Warnings: none

Sorry it took so long! College and work got me dying lmao. Updates will continue to be kinda spaced out. Fingers crossed I can get another one out over the weekend.

Also I am absolutely delighted by how much interest there's been in this! Thank you all sm for reading. Down below with the tags there's a link to a little survey, even if you're already on the tag list please fill it out. It's how I'll be keeping track of the tag list. If you don't fill it out you won't be tagged.

He hadn't been able to sleep that night.

You were right across the hall. Two doors separated you from him. And it drove him crazy knowing that you, his possible soulmate, were so close yet just out of reach.

He had dozed in and out of consciousness through the night, but found himself wide awake when he heard shuffling coming from your room. Super soldier hearing meant he heard you get out of bed and pad to your closet. What were you doing?

He heard your door shut quietly, and you make your way down the hall, and, after a few moments, the ding of the elevator door.

His mind raced, wondering what you could be doing. The next thing he knew he was tugging on a hoodie over his tank top and sweats over his boxers. He padded down the hall to the elevator, the little number above lit up saying the elevator was stopped at the floor right underneath him. The training room.

That made sense. From the way you'd spoken about your time in the military yesterday, you were highly trained and a huge asset, you likely had gotten up this early to train for years. He stood there for a moment, debating on going down as well.

The thought that maybe he'd get to see your soulmate mark was enough to have him going back to his room to get his shoes, water bottle, and towel. He wanted to make sure he looked like he was actually down there to train.

Hey, maybe he'd even get to spar with you, get to see what you were capable of.

The elevator moved only one floor, but it felt like it was taking forever. The doors opened to the small lobby and he pushed open the doors to the training room. You were doing some stretches, warming yourself up, and you looked up when he entered.

"Mornin!"

He mumbled the greeting back, now suddenly extremely nervous and starting to wonder why exactly he thought this would be a good idea.

"Didn't think I'd catch anyone this early." You seemed unbothered, warm smile despite the fact that it was so early you could still see the stars in the dark sky if you looked out the window.

He grunted in response, not being able to find the words to respond. He stood there for a moment, watching you, before walking off to start his own warmup. Which consisted of lifting more weight than you could even dream of getting even an inch over your chest. But it was light work for him.

You continued stretching but subtly watched him. You were a little disappointed he was wearing a hoodie, it did kind of obscure everything. Though you could imagine how good his muscles looked lifting that weight. Your face warmed a bit at the thought and you tried to force yourself to focus on the light burn in your calves as you stretched.

After a bit, you moved to wrap your hands and feet, wanting to practice on one of the dozen punching bags Tony had in there. He'd offhandedly mentioned he had to design a lot of the equipment himself so they could withstand the beating of the two super soldiers living in this place.

You focused on the swaying bag in front of you, vaguely aware of Bucky doing things behind you, but not paying him too much mind. Your mind was on getting out that pent up energy. Working with the Avengers was going to be very different from your previous work, and you knew there'd be a lot less for you to do on the daily. You had a feeling you'd probably be spending a lot of time in here.

You barely registered Bucky saying your name from behind you. When it did you paused your beating on the punching bag and turned to him.

"Whats up?"

"Spar?"

"Huh?"

Bucky gestured to the mat meant for sparring a little ways away. It was a little padding so whoever got dropped on their ass only hurt their pride.

"Oh! Yeah, sure." You grinned, you had to admit the idea was exciting. You were curious to see how you'd fare against one of these two.

The two of you settled into stances on the mat and you gave him a teasing grin, "I'm not gonna go easy on you."

You saw the corner of his mouth twitch with amusement as he raised a brow.

"Oh?"

"I don't have to be as worried about breaking you."

His eyes lit with curiosity, just what exactly were you capable of.

He watched you closely as you circled each other before lunging, swinging his non-metal arm at you. You blocked the hit easily and returned it with a swing of your own, which landed. His head snapped to the side as your fist connected with his jaw.

He took a step back, rubbing where you'd hit him. He hadn't expected you to hit that hard. Hell, Steve was one of the few people who's hits actually made his body ache. You packed some heat he was not expecting.

He squared up again and the two of you traded some blows back and forth before he realized you were barely flinching at the hits he landed. So he decided to turn it up a notch, striking harder than he had before. You reciprocated that.

As the two of you sparred, his eyes narrowed, and Bucky's focus turned to seeing how far he could push you. His blows struck hard, one particular hit to your abdomen forced the air from your lungs, and you stepped back gasping.

He pushed forward, though, and despite the lack of air, you fended him off well. To anyone watching, it would seem like a friendly sparring match had turned malicious. However, both yours and Bucky's eyes were lit with delight at the fact that you'd found an equal opponent.

You finally decided to end the session with a swift attack to knock him to the ground and taking the opportunity to pin him, his arm twisted behind his back.

"I surrender." He chuckled. You released him quickly and offered a hand to help him up, which he took.

"Youre...tougher than I expected."

You tilted your head, "Did Tony not tell you?"

"Tell me what?" He asked.

"I'm also a weird military experiment. Except they aimed more for stealth than brute strength with me, still gave me that enhanced strength though." You explained as you used your towel to dab the sweat from your neck.

"You haven't been particularly stealthy."

You laughed, "Haven't been trying. Tell you what, turn off the light and see if you can find me in the dark."

Bucky's eyes scanned you curiously before walking over and flicking off the lights. When he turned back, he tried to peer through the darkness to find you. He even tried to listen for your breathing and heartbeat, but the room was dead silent.

It was unnerving as he stepped further into the room as his eyes adjusted to the darkness. He slowly turned in a circle, hoping to spot you.

He thought he'd spotted you in a corner of the room until he felt a kick to the back of his knees, knocking him down. Suddenly, there was a hand gently resting around his throat and two fingertips pressed against his head in a mock figure of a gun.

"Surprise." You giggled and released him and went over to turn on the lights as Bucky stood up in a daze.

"How?" He demanded.

"My special serum gave me the ability to slow my heart and breath rate to the point where it's imperceptible, even to you. And I can move lightly so you can't even hear me walk. I can see in the dark, and all other senses are enhanced. Plus, the whole strength and pain tolerance thing. Literally, you just stealthy."

Bucky stared at you as you explained. He slowly realized you weren't really an equal. In fact, you were probably "better" than him in a sense. You had the ability to be completely imperceptible, even to him. You'd just proven you could have killed him easily, and he wouldn't have even seen it coming. It half scared him, and half had his heart racing with attraction.

"You ok?" You asked. He'd been staring at you silently for a good few seconds.

"I've just never met someone who could take me down like that."

"We're good though right?" Your expression had changed to one of nervousness.

"Why wouldn't we be?"

"Some men have a tendency to feel threatened or emasculated."

He couldn't help the chuckle that escaped him.

"Don't gotta worry about that here."

"Good." You smiled softly at him before it turned into a mischievous grin, "Wanna see who can squat the most weight?"

His mouth quirked up in a half smile as he followed you. The next two hours consisted of you challenging him to see who could handle more. Endurance wise, you did better. However, in terms of raw strength, he did better than you.

Bucky found himself feeling amused, you were so different from him and Steve. They had a tendency to be a bit more reserved. Quieter. But you were bubbly and all over the place, all smiles and energy. It was strange knowing that you'd come from the military.

After a while, the two of you headed upstairs to eat breakfast. By then, most of the others were already awake and were surprised to see Bucky willingly hanging out with you.

It was amusing in a sense. You were like a living ray of sunshine, and Bucky was like a living storm cloud. Polar opposites. However right about now Bucky didn't seem to be as "rainy" as he usually was. The look on his face was more relaxed, and he nodded attentively as you spoke. He was genuinely interested in whatever you were saying.

The second you excused yourself for a shower, the teasing began.

"Seems Bucky has taken an interest in our new teammate." Natasha said slyly.

Bucky shot her a glare and busied himself with a cup of coffee.

"Can you blame him? She's a cute little thing." Sam chuckled.

"I heard she's a great warrior. That makes her even more attractive." Thor said from his seat.

Bucky gritted his teeth and sat down on the couch by Steve with his cup of coffee. He didn't want to tell them exactly why he was so interested. He knew if he did they'd want to get involved and it would just ruin everything.

So for now, he'd deal with the teasing and hope it wouldn't be long until he found out if it was his name marked on your arm.

He stared down into his mug, ignoring the joking going on around him. He barely knew you, and yet he was practically praying that you were his soulmate. That the name he had on his arm was written in your writing. That the name on your arm was his written in his messy chicken scratch.

-------------------------------------------------

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[6lostgirl6]

Yandere Alphabet - Demon!Dean Winchester

TW: Toxic Relationship, Possessive Behavior, Controlling Behavior, Hints of Physical Abuse, Hints of Verbal Abuse, Kidnapping, Mentions of Murder, Isolation And Spanking As Punishment, Cursing, Manipulation. A/N: Please inform me if I did not tag something correctly. Please know the difference between fictional and reality. While fictional, these types of relationships are extremely toxic, especially in real-life. If your relationship is showcasing these toxic behaviors, please seek help from someone to get out safely. Reblogs are heavily appreciated!!

Affection: How do they show their love and affection? How intense would it get?

He’s a physical lover, and he doesn’t give two fucks about PDA. He’ll kiss and touch you whenever and wherever he likes. He always gives you heated, passionate kisses while grasping all over your body and pressing you up against him. When he’s really affected, he’ll growl while kissing you, and his eyes will flash black on occasion.

Blood: How messy are they willing to get when it comes to their darling?

Very messy. Demon Dean, at this point, is a malevolent being and will resort to more grotesque methods when it comes to his darling. Even if it means killing innocent people who look at you the wrong way or dare touch you, well, try. He’ll break the person’s bones before they even lay a finger on you.

Cruelty: How would they treat their darling once abducted? Would they mock them?

Depending on how you react to the situation, his treatment of you varies. If you behave, he'll treat you good by his definition. However, if you react badly, he's going to not react well. Yes, he’ll mock you, because we need to remember that he may love you, but that doesn't change his nature. He has a cruel sense of humor.

Darling: Aside from abduction, would they do anything against their darling’s will?

He’ll make you come with him on his killing sprees. You’re not a fan of blood; that’s too bad. You’ll just have to get used to it, because that’s all you’re ever going to see besides him. Blood and carnage.

Exposed: How much of their heart do they bare to their darling? How vulnerable are they when it comes to their darling?

Demon Dean still has some of his old traits from when he was human. He doesn't like expressing his emotions until he trusts you enough. Which would take a long time. However, when he finally trusts you, he’ll be more open about his feelings for you. He still keeps things close to his chest, though he might never speak with you about it. 

Fight: How would they feel if their darling fought back?

Oh, he’s pissed.

Game: Is this a game to them? How much would they enjoy watching their darling try to escape?

No, your relationship isn't a game to him. But getting you to fall in love with him will be like a game, and he'll triumph. It’s only a matter of time. Demon Dean wouldn't like seeing you try to escape; it would automatically anger him. He’ll lash out at you.

Hell: What would be their darling’s worst experience with them?

Your worst experience with him would be your fights with him. He's scary when he’s angry, especially when it's towards you. He’ll practically scream in your face and manhandle you. Another thing would be him forcing you to see his killing sprees. He doesn't trust you enough to leave you on your own, so you'll have to witness his brutality.

Ideals: What kind of future do they have in mind for/with their darling?

When it comes to your future with him, you’re stuck with him, and not even death would separate you. He’ll secretly try to uncover a way to turn you into a demon. You'll be isolated from hunters; demons wouldn't dare approach you. He’s the only thing you’ll ever need; nobody else can help you.

Jealousy: Do they get jealous? Do they lash out or find a way to cope?

Extremely, however, it’s not because he’s insecure; you simply belong to him and are completely off-limits. Coping, what’s that? He’s going to lash out in a violent way at the person attempting to flirt with you. He left people bloodied to a pulp on the floor before, and he has done worse.

Kisses: How do they act around or with their darling?

It’s discrete, but he’s a little softer around you, and he would let you get away with small things that he wouldn’t tolerate if it were another person. As a demon, he’s not afraid to show you how deep his love runs for you. He’s clingy and always has a hand grabbing you somewhere. He’s very possessive, and he tends to keep you to himself.

Love letters: How would they go about courting or approaching their darling?

When it comes to demon dean, there is no time for courting or lightly approaching you about his feelings. When he kidnapped you, there were no romantic gestures or heartfelt confessions; you simply belonged to him, and you need to get used to it.

Mask: Are their true colors drastically different from the way they act around everyone else?

Of course, Dean treats you differently compared to others. He’s less rough around the edge, and he does try to control his temper better around you. You’re his, and he doesn’t mistreat what belongs to him. 

Naughty: How would they punish their darling?

Depending on what you do, however, he'll simply tie you to the bedpost and keep you there until you learn your lesson. He would never intentionally hurt you, but he will force you over your lap and smack your ass until you’re begging for forgiveness. Trust me, he wouldn’t make it fun for you.

Oppression: How many rights would they take away from their darling?

The better question is: how many rights would he allow you to have? All you need to do around him is eat, sleep, and look pretty for him. Misbehave, and you’re going to be chained to the bed again.

Patience: How patient are they with their darling?

He will have zero patience with you, so you better behave for your own sake. He's not afraid of punishing you, however he sees fit, because you didn’t listen to him or try to escape. Therefore, try not to upset him too much.

Quit: If their darling dies, leaves, or successfully escapes, would they ever be able to move on?

No, he would never move on. If you died or were killed, his rampage would be talked about in Hell for centuries. If you manage to escape, it won’t last long. He’s going to get you back, whatever it takes, so enjoy the freedom while it lasts.

Regret: Would they ever feel guilty about abducting their darling? Would they ever let their darling go?

Ha! Hell no. However, after being cured, he will feel horrible for how he treated you. He’ll feel ashamed that his darker feelings for you were brought to light. He really does love you, but the demonic side of him has horrible ways of showing it.

Stigma: What brought about this side of them (childhood, curiosity, etc)?

His transformation into a demon allowed his yandere tendencies to be brought to the surface. He doesn’t have to hold back his urges anymore, and why would he want to?

Tears: How do they feel about seeing their darling scream, cry, and/or isolate themselves?

Of course he doesn’t like it; he prefers you being obedient and rather docile. He would never admit this, but he would want you to be happy with him, even as a demon. If you try avoiding him, he’ll keep bugging you and forcing you to talk to him. He lacks patience, so your screams and cries will only make him angrier the longer you keep having tantrums.

Unique: Would they do anything different from the classic yandere?

Demon Dean would never hurt you intentionally, especially by abusing you to make you cooperate. Sure, when he lashes out, there may be a few accidents, but that’s all they are. Accidents. 

Vice: What weakness can their darling exploit in order to escape?

There are two things you could use: his killing urges and/or feeding into his ego. If you want to play the waiting game, you would have to gain his trust enough to allow you to be out of his sight. Simply pretending to love him won’t be enough because he’ll see right through you. When he goes on his killing sprees, leaving you behind for once will be your chance and only chance to escape. You better protect yourself; he will find you.

Wit’s end: Would they ever hurt their darling?

No matter how much he cares about you, he will hurt your feelings at times, especially when he flirts with other women in front of you. When he’s extremely angry or has the itching need to kill something, you need to stay out of his way. He will lash out at you with hurtful words and potential bruises.

Xoanon: How much would they revere or worship their darling? To what length would they go to win their darling over?

Demon Dean cares about you despite who he is, and he doesn’t like upsetting you. You’re not much fun with tears in your eyes. As a demon, you’re the only one that makes him feel things—feelings he used to hide within when he was human. Anyway, he would go to the ultimate length to win you over. He’s not going to beg on his knees for your love, but he’ll show you how much he worships you in his own way. You want him to kill someone and bring you their head? He'll do it.

Yearn: How long do they pine after their darling before they snap?

After Dean became a demon and left with Crowley, he didn’t take you with him at the time, no matter how much he wanted to. However, you’ve never left his thoughts, no matter how much he tried to drink your sweet voice away. You haunted him for months until he finally snapped and came after you.

Zenith: Would they ever break their darling?

If Dean was never cured or you never managed a way to escape from him, he’ll find a way to break you and make you depend solely on him. Make you finally see that he is the only thing that would kill to keep you safe. One way or another, he’ll make you fall for him.

Taglist: Comment to be added/removed!!

@prettywhenibleed @britany1997 @rottent33th @slaasherslut @huntressandlioness1 @wraith-posts @schizonephilim

[islandofsages]

Hey ! Can I ask for a male!reader that is a 4th or 3rd year at the NRC (in the dorm you want), and Yuu, Grim and Ortho after seeing him just decided to adopt him like their father ?

The reader is the definition of a good father, and Yuu, Grim and Ortho made him sign the adoption contract (give by Azul).

(Maybe the reader can be the boyfriend of Idia ?)

I just want a reverse adoption with Grim, Yuu and Ortho bc they need a good father.

characters: ortho, yuu and grim with fourth year male reader

tags: platonic, fluff, fic format

warnings: none

author's notes: sorry i didnt do the characters separately, i think they would have similar reactions. also reader isnt with idia bc im keeping this blog fairly romance-free :) thank you for giving me an excuse to write fourth year reader tho, the concept is so interesting and fun to explore!! and hes not in any specific dorm, wanted to keep it ambiguous hehe. honestly this whole thing was my own spin so word count: 974 words

You haven't gone back to NRC in a while. Despite the absolute chaos that goes on way more than often in that school, you’ve grown to harbor fondness for that familiarity. Luckily, you're due for a report of the progress of your internship. Instead of merely sending an email to your professor, you’ll go meet up with him yourself and check up on your underclassmen (maybe even get to know the freshmen) in the meantime.

You are just one of the many seniors of NRC but you found that your dorm members are quite fond of you for whatever reason. So when you come back for that short time period, a few of them come to greet you and catch up with you. Apparently, the abandoned dorm is now occupied by not one but two new students. You didn't even know there was an abandoned dorm!

“One of them can't even use magic and came from a different universe or something? And one of them is literally a magical monster! The school totally got weirder when you left, (Y/N),” one of your dorm members explains. You try to imagine it in your head. Yeah, no, if nobody told you that’s exactly what happened, you wouldn’t have known. You only believe the dorm member because you trust them enough.

“Oh, and remember Idia? The one with the robot brother? He’s a housewarden now. And his brother's a student now. He's an actual freshman,” more gossip makes their way to you. Your eyes widen at the news. You feel like you may remember them, the Shroud brothers - you could tell Idia was trying really hard to stay on the down low so you did him a favor and left him alone for the most part.

You don’t stay at your dorm for very long - you did come to NRC for a reason - and that was to send in that report of yours. Though you already dropped it off before checking up on your underclassmen, you plan just walking around school and taking in the sights that were once so familiar to you. And you haven’t even really graduated yet.

You walk down the hallways and say hi to whoever you recognize, basking in that comfortable familiarity. Some friendlier students stop to chat with you and to be perfectly honest, you feel a little old compared to everyone. You don’t mind but what’s rubbing it in is how some of the students are calling you “Dad” to tease you. You know they’re being playful for the most part but you can’t help but feel a little awkward with the nickname.

Then you run into those three.

You recognize the younger Shroud brother - hard not to with his flames for hair - but you can only guess the other two are the new students occupying that abandoned dorm; one’s uniform seems foreign and the other is not even remotely humanoid. They're definitely eye-catching, especially together. And apparently, you're pretty eye-catching too, with the way they lay their eyes on you while you were talking to another student.

The younger Shroud brother leads the group as they make their way to you excitedly. You're already preparing yourself for what you assume is a normal conversation with these kids. Too bad normal is the wrong thing to expect from these three, you will come to know.

“(Y/N)! You’re back at school!” The younger Shroud - Ortho, that’s his name - exclaims as he flies slightly upwards, happy to see you again. The other two look at you curiously, head tilted to the side and all. You offer them a jolly laugh as you tell the other two who you are and update all of them of how your internship is going. They’re eerily silent when you’re relaying your story but you appreciate not being interrupted. ‘What polite freshmen,’ you thought.

Until they aren’t, because they interrupt you with-

“Can you adopt us?!”

Their eyes twinkle as they clasp their hands together and gaze at you with their best puppy-eye look. Oh, they’re being genuine. This is escalating way too quickly - the nickname was weird enough, you’re not sure what to feel about a bunch of age-ambiguous freshmen wanting a fellow (though presumably older) student to adopt them. You sigh and put on your best smile so as to not disappoint them.

Truth be told, it really isn’t as bad or weird as it sounds. People were already teasing you about it so might as well run along with it. But still. Legally adopting these freshmen would still be too much for you to handle. After all, you’re still going to be preoccupied with your internship. You won’t be present for most of their school years and the last thing you want to be is a father who forgot to bring the milk back home.

You tell them you will think about it, in case they were actually joking and you’re somehow dumb enough to not catch on. They agree to allow you to take your time… but then they start muttering about “getting a contract from Azul” and you immediately step in to stop them from taking any drastic measures.

After that whole ordeal, you leave school more exhausted than you thought you would be. After all, three freshmen literally asked you to become their father and adopt them and were about to get you to agree to some contract.  But then, you find out, they turn out to be the best children you’ve ever had. 

They can be a handful, sure - Ortho is way too curious for his own good sometimes, Grim can’t sit still and picks fights with people often, and Yuu is… Yuu. Being a single father is definitely not the easiest thing to do with them as your children.

Yet you wouldn’t trade them for the world.

[ambigrueity]

Incredibly long post about Trey and Riddle's Relationship that I vaguely said I'd do in the tags of my posts somewhere

Disclaimer: this is not intended to be shipping in any way I very much view them as family, even more so after these updates. To start with I'm going to separate their relationship into 3 distinct stages and focus on their perceptions of each other at each stage. I think their relationship is wonderfully written As usual, I ramble so sorry in advance, but I really want to analyze how complex they are.

Stage one: Childhood: ||Riddle|| A friend: Trey and Chenya were Riddle's first friends. Riddle had spent his whole life knowing the four walls of his home and his mother and both Trey and Chenya were his gateway to experiencing the world outside his windows. As such, they're immensely valuable to him. Under his mother he had no other way to grow socially, so when provided with a logical reason for going out and playing (Chenya stated his grandpa believed play is a form of study) he jumped at it because he wanted that connection. Trey specifically was his ideal. I think he looked up to him a lot. Normal home life. His mother didn't confine or trap him in any way. And he could eat whatever he liked. That's why when Trey said that one or two slices of tart wouldn't hurt, it was good enough to sway Riddle. All his life he'd grown up hearing about sweets being poison. But Trey seems happy and fulfilled so surely it's not as bad. However, breaking his mother's rule made him lose everything. The momentary friendship he'd built and any chance of freedom. It impressed upon him the importance of following the rules because breaking them lead to loss. And on top of that, it left him with guilt. I talk a lot about Trey's guilt in this situation (and I will talk more) but Riddle has his own guilt too that just manifested in a different way. More on that later.

||Trey|| A brother: While Riddle might have viewed Trey as a friend (no doubt because he was an isolated only child with a different perception and a lot of baggage tied to the world family), Trey saw him as a brother. He expressly states in his dream that Riddle was smart enough to identify plants and flowers and had enough magic control to get their soccer ball out of the trees, and he felt proud to have a smart little brother. And this sort of label is easier for him because he comes from a rather healthy family with siblings and has a blood brother around Riddle's age. Instinctively, Riddle became someone he wanted to care for, spoil, and cherish. That's why after knowing Riddle wanted to try a tart he wanted to let him. Later on, he tries to dismiss or come to terms with his actions in various ways, stating that it was not his place and of course anyone would get upset if their house rules and dietary restrictions weren't being respected. He tries to make it out into a joke, saying it's become a family incident of sorts that they just laugh about. "Who gets that mad at children playing." But underneath all those attempts to bury his own trauma, lies guilt. Because he feels, deep down, that as a brother he should have protected Riddle better. And instead, after just 2 months, he had to see everything that made Riddle happy stripped away again. More on this later. Stage 2: Riddle's First Year

||Riddle|| A stranger. Riddle's changed. He's developed some of his mother's anger. He's been confined for years. And because of that one incident with the tart, he firmly believes that growth and by extension fulfillment can only happen under the rules. Moreover, since Trey represents that period of his life where he learned that lesson rather harshly, he ices Trey out, pretending he barely knows him. After all, they might as well be strangers after all these years. Especially since Trey is banned from his house. This is a result of the guilt I mentioned earlier. He failed to follow his mother's rules and the punishment put Trey and his peaceful family that he looked up to in the crossfire. I think a part of him doesn't know how to face Trey after all that, worried that he might hate him. However, he cannot fully erase his own memories. So it is Trey he consults when he asks how to challenge a dorm leader for the seat. Even if he's distancing himself by calling him "Clover-senpai" Trey still remains someone he trusts to a degree. After Riddle takes the throne he makes a decision I find interesting. He doesn't select a vice, instead he leaves it to the popular vote. This could be read two ways IMO. Either, he didn't feel the need to have a vice because he was so confident in his own skills, but was aware that it was customary to have one so it didn't matter to him who it was. Or, deep down, he was afraid that no one would be willing to work with him. After seeing his dream, I do think it might be the latter. All of the darkness versions of his card soldiers showed some form of disloyalty. Willing to go along with the idea that they might jump ship, or that Riddle could be overpowered. It's this insecurity born from his own fear of his mother. He knows he's become a reflection of her, and he's worried how other people might react to it. In the end, he's still chasing those relationships from childhood, but is stuck believing that rules are the only way to keep what little happiness he has which alienates him from Trey to a degree. ||Trey|| A brother still: Despite the years, Trey's feelings about Riddle hadn't changed much other than being swamped with underlying guilt. Upon realizing that Riddle was going to attend NRC, his first instinct was to create a space for him. Trey generally, is introverted but excited to see his childhood friend again, he ends up talking to the people around him saying that Riddle was a quiet but studious boy and he hopes that people will welcome him. That was at least, before he saw what Riddle had become (he ended up fighting Floyd at the entrance ceremony) leaving Trey with the realization that this was not the boy he knew anymore. And worse, he was pretending not to know him. I'm sure it hurt, but even so, when RIddle asked about dueling the housewarden, he did try to accommodate him (after getting over his initial shock). The thing that gets me the most, however, is that Trey still saw the good in him. Trey in the rose maze part of Riddle's dream tells Ortho that the first thing Riddle did when he became housewarden was tend to the roses. To him that was a sign that Riddle was still somewhere in there and he was willing to support that. He would have been resigned to accepting that he was a stranger to Riddle if he hadn't been elected vice, but regardless of how Riddle felt, Trey still felt responsible for him. Both out of guilt and because he was still family.

[wangxianficfinder]

Fic Finder

Oct 21st

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1. Hiii first of all i just wanted to thank you for being able to find the fic i was looking for last time :)) im looking for this fic that i cant find anywhere it was a modern au on ao3 where wangxian dated in hs or college but lqr forced lwj to break up with wwx (through txt if i remember right) but wwx didnt know that lwj was forced so when they meet years later and lwj is working for the lan company they hire wwx and the wens to work on the cybersecurity and wwx is rlly angry while lwj is just pining. TIA!! @draconislyra

FOUND? Tempo Rubato by Spodumene (E, 108k, wangxian, modern, angst w/ happy ending, romance, persuasion au, separations, pining, miscommunication, depression, self-harm, reconciliation, smut)

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2. theres this fic and i forgot the title, but its where jin ling has been wearing wwx's protective bracelet since he was a baby and assumed/thought his mom gave it to him and the bracelet is rlly effective! but in guanyin temple, su she(?) broke it but wwx fixes it and strings the bracelet back together

FOUND! a symbol to remind you that there's more to see by paperminds (T, 9k, JC & JL & WWX, canon-compliant(ish), post-canon(ish), Canon-Typical Violence, Hurt/Comfort, Mild/Moderate Angst, angst with happy ending, Yunmeng Shuangjie, Twin Idiots, Reconciliation)

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3. Hi! I'm looking for a specific fan fiction i remember that both wwx and lwj has lived a long and happy life and now they think it's time for them to leave the world lsz is very upset and doesn't want to let his parents go they go upto a field to fall asleep or smth, there was also wwx telling lwj how tired he is, I've been dying to find this one

FOUND? The Sea Calls Us Home. by selfptrts (T, 3k, WangXian, ZhuiLing, Suicide, Hurt No Comfort, Established Relationship, Heavy Angst, wangxian are married and have a son, xicheng if you squint hard enough, Mentions of Canonical Character Death, Assisted Suicide, References to Supernatural (TV), References to Canon, Found Family, Grief/Mourning, Immortality)

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4. Hello! I'm in desperate need of help. I'm trying to find this one fic where NMJ gave WWX Baxia since he couldn't wield her anymore. I remember a scene where he was struggling with her but then JC(?) told him he was still using sword forms so he needed to find a different way. Thank you so much in advance!!!

FOUND? Lynchpin by ShanaStoryteller (Not Rated, 103k, WangXian, JC & WWX, Time Travel, Fix-It) WWX definitely ends up weilding Baxia in Lynchpin, and there's a scene about WWX creating a new Sabre sword style.

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5. Hii, I'm looking for two wangxian fics that I unfortunately don't remember much about. A) The first one was one where the war was solved and WWX joined DafanWen, I remember that Dafan's robes were pink/peach and I think DafanWen became a medical sub-clan of Lan.

B) The second one was a post canon where WWX basically adapted to life in Cloud Recess. He learned to knit and I think the fic had a tag that had to do something like "something about gender roles". @canisirio

5A)

FOUND? 💖 Light Source by abCEE (M, 31k, wangxian, not Jiang friendly, no golden core transfer, fall of the jiang sect, happy ending)

5B)

FOUND? Reeds in the Wind by merakily (T, 26k, WangXian, Post-Canon, Canon Compliant, Character Study, Yunmeng bros Reconciliation, Rabbit Therapy, Sewing Therapy, PTSD, Emotional Baggage, Hurt/Comfort, JC is Bad at Feelings, JC Needs a Hug) I feel like it's not the right fic but it does have wwx doing embroidery

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6. hi this is for fic finder!

i think this is starts when wwx is still in the burial mounds with the wens and he's called? because lwj is sick like literally in bed, unconscious with fever sorta sick. I think it turned out to be a curse or smth related to his golden core!

also another fic, also these two fics coild be the same so I'm not sure

it could've been related to the first request, I kind of remember wwx sacrificing or getting harmed to save lwj and then all the Lan elders kind of give wwx a new core in the caves in cloud recesses

this is really messy, I'm just trying to say that I remember these 2 points and they could be in 1 fic or 2 different fics

thank you sm @bunnycoffeeumcat

FOUND! Weep You No More, Sad Fountains by athena_crikey (T, 59k, WangXian, LXC & LWJ, LXC & JGY, Canon Divergence, Fix-it fic, Whump, Curses, Fever, Delirium, Stabbing, Loneliness, Confessions, LWJ’s emotional repression, WWX giving everything as always, LXC realising sympathy is not support, LQR Being an Asshole) for the first point but not the second so I guess this is 6a?

FOUND? 🧡 decay by antebunny (G, 15k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Angst, Misunderstandings, Miscommunication, Fix-It, Angst with a Happy Ending, the fluffiest ending, Hurt/Comfort) Are they maybe thinking of decay by antebunny? I know the ending of the fic has a similar scene to what they were describing

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7. Hi. I am looking for a fic where Baoshan Sanren knows about Wei Wuxian’s fate but cannot directly interfere. Instead she raises Mo Xuanyu as a cultivator and Talisman Master who helps Madam Jin keep Jin Ling safe in Lanling Jin before leaving for the Imperial Exams. Before he can reach, he is assassinated by Jin Guangyao. Wei Wuxian then wakes up in the body and decides to write the exams, becoming a high ranking minister. The emperor takes an interest in the cultivation world a few years later.

FOUND? Awakening: Return of the Patriarch - Another Way by SplitGirl28 (M, 35k, WIP, Transmigration, Related to Jin Guangslut again, Nobody has access to WWX's notes, Experimentation Underway, Established SongXiao, A-Qing Lives)

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8. Hi! I'm looking for this fic where wwx and lwj are thrown into an arranged marriage together, and don't know each other. Wwx is generally happy and excited, and lwj sees this and immediately hates him, bcoz he wanted a calm, quiet spouse to live with. The whole thing is orchestrated by Madam Yu, who basically abandons wwx at cloud recesses bcoz she figures he would be miserable here. Lwj doesn't like him to or try to understand him, so wwx slowly gets more and more depressed and suicidal, kind of as a parallel to Madam lan. I think he tries teaching for a while, and he's very good at it, but the elders step in and claim he's corrupting the children, so that's that. He finds the yin iron, and plans to destroy it worth a circle that will also take him out along with it, but before he can go through with the plan lwj realises how depressed he is and starts making an effort to help him. The fic ends with lwj offering to run away from cloud recesses with him, and wwx telling him no, he doesn't want to be some sort of shameful indulgence, if lwj really wants him he'll stay and fight with the elders on his behalf @arsonistbydaylibrarianbynight

FOUND? Concord by Deastar (T, 41k, WangXian, Arranged Marriage, Gusu Lan Sect Rules, Depression, Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending)

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9. Hi! For the next Fic Finder, I’ve been trying to find a fic where LWJ leaves the CR to go help WWX in the Burial Mounds. It kind of starts of with LWJ and WWX confrontation after WWX rescues the Wens. There’s a sequence where LWJ is gathering stuff to take to the Burial Mounds. Then in later chapters it’s LXC, LQR, and a couple of Lan Elders going to Yiling to try and bring LWJ back to the CR. They find him in Yiling, selling produce, only to discover that LWJ is living a happy life with WWX and is no longer following Gusu Lan’s rules as he lets a bunch of kids decorate his hair. Sorry this is super long. I can remember what happens in the fic, but for the life of me I can’t remember the title. Thanks a bunch!

FOUND!🔒Unpack Your Heart by Terri Botta (Isilwath) (T, 22k, wangxian, Romance, Everybody Lives, Canon Divergence, LWJ Has Feelings, Protective LWJ, Burial Mounds Settlement Days, LWJ Stays at the Burial Mounds, Burial Mounds Ensemble as Family, Wangxian in Love, YLLZ WWX, Lan Clan Elders are Assholes, Minor Transgender Character, Qiongqi Path Divergence, LWJ loves his bunnies)

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10. hi - i’m looking for a f/f wangxian fic. lwj and wwx start as friends but there’s obvious sexual tension (wwx still thinks she’s straight, and keeps “baiting” lwj). lwj lives near her mom, and she bikes to visit her with wei ying. there’s a scene where wwx is wearing novelty panties with a weed leaf on it? and wwx turns out to have nipple piercings which makes lwj go insane? eventually wwx is like “i may not be a woman but you’re a lesbian so you can’t love me.” and lwj is like. nah. i love you?

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11. Hi! This is for fic finder. I honestly dont remember if it was a fanfic from this fandom or a chinese bl novel i red years ago. It didnt help that i dont remember much of the story. I will call them mc and ml (if it was a fanfic, wwx is the mc). They are an actor. The mc got a big role and there are a sex scene in the film with the ml. And then the mc catch a feeling to the ml. The plot of the movie they shoot is where the mc always running away. The movie plot kinda resobate with the mc feeleng. And the writting style is tell a twi stoey. The movie plot and the fic. Long story short, the mc get kidnapped. I dont remember if its trully happen or the movies's plot but i think the mc was genuinely kidnapped. The kidnapping is meticulous that make people tell the ml to brace himself for the worst case scenario. The ml helped to find the mc. In the end, the mc is found but in the bad shape. Near the end of the story, they are in shooting where the plot is the ml found the mc. They hugged and the staff say that it feels genuine.

Im 80% sure its a wangxian fic. I read that around 3-4 years ago. Thanks! @idontknowwhattowriteforusername

Hi im #11 in recent fic finder. I dont know if it will help but it involves a cottage (where wwx is held when he is kidnapped), a river (i think their investigation lead to the river and found a red scraf), a red scraf (i think wwx knit it? I dont remember but it his). Its not outsider pov and not a twitter fic (i dont know what is called). I think the film they play is a porn one? (Not sure about this part). Thanks!

NOT FOUND! call me, beep me by myung (T, 39k, wangxian, modern, social media, actors au, celebrities, chatting & texting)

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12. fic finder: does anyone remember this one fic where lan qiren was looking for a way to get wwx a new core and he calls for people to make spiritual donations or something? wwx didnt think anyone would volunteer but when he looked there had been a huge crowd gathered to help him

FOUND! I'm Sorry & Thank You by Iamnotawriter (T, 12k, LQR & WWX, WangXian, Canon Compliant, Post-Canon, Golden Core, Canon-Typical Violence, lqr's epipheny, Angst with a Happy Ending)

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13. Hi, can you help me find a fanfic that I missed? It was about WWX who died (supposedly in his world, devoured by corpses) but he travels to another dimension, he thinks it was because of the Stygian Tiger seal, and finds another version of himself that was from that dimension. There is a specific scene where WWX (modern) teaches WWX (cultivator) how to use the shower and WWX (modern) talks about Su She who was his boyfriend and such. In the end, Huaisang reveals that the two WWX have the same DNA and that he has never seen an identity of him. / oi, podem me ajudar a achar uma fic, (hi, can you help me find a fic,) It's from wwx that he dies and travels to another dimension, where he meets another older wei wuxian, this wwx (modern) is investigating a case of dead people, there's a scene where they take baths together (Wwx (modern) teaches wwx (cultivator) how to use showers) and wwx talks about his jerk ex-boyfriend who was su she, there's a specific scene where wwx (modern) confronts su she (ex-boyfriend) he (modern wwx) meets lwj who was a teacher of something and they end up getting close.

(this part moved to Itmf)

both requests by @quwieiidkd

FOUND? so when you go wherever it is you will go, take the moon with you by comforting_monachopsis (T, 138k, WWX & WWX, WWX & WQ, WWX & WN, wangxian, JC & WWX & JYL, past WWX/SS, past WWX/XY, canon divergence, time travel, dimension travel, modern, private investigator WWX, professor LWJ, trauma, serial killers, strangers to lovers, BAMF WWX, hurt WWX)

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14. I'm looking for a fanfic, but I can't find it. Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji share an unsatisfying night, but fate keeps bringing them together. thanks! ❤️

FOUND? 🔒 Bad Sex, Good Loving by Nyatci (E, 18k, WangXian, Explicit Sexual Content, Implied/referenced WWX/Others, Implied/referenced LWJ/Others, One night stand WangXian, PWP, but like, Bad Porn with Good Plot, The Plot is the Porn being Bad, Self-Esteem Issues, Communication Failure, Idiots in Love, Falling In Love, Practice makes perfect, They work on the communication thing eventually, Under-negotiated Kink, mild angst with a very happy ending, BDSM Undertones, Consensual Non-Consent)

~*~

15. hi this is for ficfinder!

I think this was based in the 1900s? and lwj is an exorcist of sorts, and I think wen qings family calls him for help, because I kinda remember her opening the door for him and granny is also there. wwx is a Gardner in the wen house and he's also the necromancer. I think the phrase used was similar "there's a friendly gardner"

thank you sm!

FOUND? sweet beneath sharp edges by isabilightwood (E, WangXian, Historical, Jazz Age, Light Horror, Demonic Cultivation, Ghost Possession, Haunted House, Cultivator LWJ, Gardener WWX, disabled character (WN), WRH is not a good uncle (or father), Mystery, LWJ is sent to exorcise a house and flirts with the gardener instead, said gardener may or may not be the monster he was sent to kill, Madam Lan Lives, Monsterfucker LWJ, Bottom LWJ, Resentacles, flirting via fruit, Weirdo4weirdo wangxian, Oral Fixation, WWX eats the rich (literally), Power Bottom LWJ but wwx is still in control)

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16. Hi, I’m searching for a fic I read quite some time ago. Wwx actually remembers Lwj confessing to him after the Burial Mounds siege and then they’re kinda forced into a marriage? Lwj goes to live with wwx and the wens but wwx treats him horribly. Lwj by then had been whipped and so he’s terrible pain all the time.

Thank you so much 😊 @bcozwhythefuknot

FOUND? ❤️ A Myriad of Blossoms by Itszero (E, 56k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Arranged Marriage, Forced Marriage, YLLZ WWX, Hurt LWJ, Cruel wwx, he’s cruel until he’s not, Protective WWX, Caring WWX, Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Eventual Smut, Bottom LWJ, Dark WWX)

~*~

17. Hi!! I've been looking for this fic for a while, I hope yall can help me. So what I remember is that LWJ becomes the YLLZ's concubine, spouse, bed warmer? They spent years apart, and WWX held some resentment due to a misunderstanding (LWJ was punished with the whip and couldn't be besides him?) I remember this scene where LWJ is wearing a (silk?) robe. Then WWX funds out about the whip scars and It was a whole thing that solved the misunderstanding, I believe. It may be a AU since there was some kind of Magic besides canon stuff? Like, the Wei Sect? members were part something (demons, animals, idk) and It happened to LWJ too for being in the BM. Oh, and MXY and A-Yuan were there too! I hope someone can help me. Thank you!

FOUND? the necromancer's fairytale by iliacquer (E, 17k, WangXian, Top LWJ, Bottom WWX, but they have switch energy, safe sane consensual noncon kink, is the Yiling Patriarch a kink, incoherent worldbuilding is incoherent, Past Torture the lan family are terrible sorry, Rough Sex, Pain Kink)

~*~

18. hello! i'd like to ask for a fic finder! it's at least two-three years old, and on the shorter side i believe??

the first one is CR study arc, where lwj believes wwx's prank was specifically because he found out lwj is a cutsleeve/has feelings for wwx. i think he gets silently angry like canon, and later he confronts wwx about it? (it's not works/32795896 though it's similar)

~*~

19. Hi! I'm looking for a specific fic - I think I read it at least 2 years ago, maybe earlier. WWX is hidden by (I can't quite remember if it's after 13 years or before hand) JC and JYanli, and pretends to be a woman whilst figuring what to do now. Jin Guangshan hits on her, and as always, LWJ falls for WWX in a different form. Whilst at the Golden Carp Tower, WWX is also in a wheelchair - I can't quite remember why. Everything gets revealed eventually.

FOUND? My Leaves Reach Ever for the Sun by nonplussed (T, 26k, WangXian, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fix-It, Crossdressing, Idiots in Love, Sharing a Bed, Canon Divergence, Happy Ending, Mutual Pining, Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies)

The Housewife's Guide to Causing Chaos by dvasva (M, 132k, WIP, WangXian, Canon-Typical Violence, Functionally Trans Character, Mild Sexual Content, Domestic Fluff, Love Confessions, Transphobia, Good Parents LWJ and WWX, Pining, WWX is a Tease, Grief/Mourning, Body Dysphoria, Fake Marriage, Canonical Character Death, Misunderstandings, Doting LWJ, Canon Divergence, Arranged Marriage, WWX is not in MXY's body, Misgendering, Mild Angst, Assumptions, Comedic Elements, non-sexual nudity, Blood, Discussion of Various Bodily Functions, Cloud Recesses Shenanigans, 4 years of mourning instead of 13, Méishān Yú Sect, POV Multiple, Corporal Punishment, Trans WWX, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, pregnancy mention, Timeline What Timeline, Sexual Harassment Threats) Both of these have jgs being a creep towards wei ying

FOUND? Wei Wuxian, Who's That? by bumbledees (T, 48k, wangxian, crossdressing, pining, sibling feels) Both of these have jgs being a creep towards wei ying

FOUND? By Any Other Name by ShanaStoryteller (Not Rated, 31k, Wangxian, Canon Divergence, Crossdressing, Misunderstandings, Identity Porn, Identity reveal) idr if theres a wheelchair involved for sure. i feel like there is but im gonna be honest i always forget abled ppl exist so in my mind when i read everyone is using mobility aids all the time until i get reminded otherwise lol but i do recall that he is weak and regaining energy so its possible he was using a wheelchair atp for that reason ? either way its a good fic

~*~

20. Hello, i love what you're doings! A fic I'm looking for: JC and LWzj time travelled and decided to fix canon. As such, they spent a lot of time together. But that lead to everyone- especially wwx - to think they're a couple. Wwx is okay with it, but really bothered that he keels getting dragged into their dates @midnightlighthowlite

FOUND? ❤️ For Both Of Us (And Time Is But A Paper Moon) by sami (E, 65k, WangXian, Time Travel, Some People Live/Not Everyone Dies, Fix-It, Hurt/Comfort, Healing, Yunmeng Shuangjie, Canon Divergence, Asexual JC, First Time, Getting Together, BAMF JC, BAMF LWJ)

~*~

[xmads-omensx]

Epilogue

Word Count: 1,664

Pairing: Noah Sebastian X Reader

CW: fluff, swearing, mentions of fake dating, mentions of harassment, mentions of not feeling good enough, self-doubt

I know I got sappy about this in the finale, but it's just hit me now that this is the end of the series!

Again, big thank you to everyone who read, liked, commented and reblogged, I loved hearing your thoughts.

Maybe we will see these two again, who knows?

For now, however, their story has been told and I have loved every second. I hope you all did too!

Tags: @shayeanna-ashlie @alwaysfightforwhoyouare @supersquirrel1996 @dontwantthemoney @tosoundlessdarkistare @bloody-spades @klutzy-kay24 @heyyoplayer @lacy1986 @collidewiththesav @kenjipepsi1 @follow-me-down-to-wonderland @chey-h @amelia-acero @thisbicc @dominuslunae @enemiestolovershoe @xxkatsatwatwafflexx @thisbicc @fadingangelwisp @cheyyyyr @littlebear423 @dsireland86 @missduffsblog @overmydeadbodysblog @dominuslunae @blade-dressed-in-red @rumoured-whispers @eclipseeetop @xxkittenkissesxx @theanarchymuse95 @blackveilomens @lilgarbitch @lil-garbitch @concretejunglefm @museonfilm @xxkatsatwatwafflexx @kissestomyomens @flowery-mess

The sky above us was dark. Only the stars offered us any light.

It was quiet, peaceful, calm, safe.

It was perfect.

I could hear crickets in the grass around us, offering a break in the silence.

Our phones were off. We didn’t need any distractions.

The silence offered us more time to enjoy eachother, even though we weren’t touching eachother.

Over the last few months, Noah and I were closer than ever. Since we finally confessed how we felt about eachother, it felt as if there was this unbreakable bond between the two of us.

It was like he was my oxygen and I needed him to breathe.

It was like he was the one making my heart beat, pumping my blood around my body.

His hand crept across the grass beneath us and brushed against mine, linking our pinkie fingers together.

I turned my head to look at him.

“Hmm?” I hummed in question.

“Nothin’” He began. “Just love you.” He whispered.

I smiled at him. It felt wrong to speak within the silence, but his words felt so right.

As opposed to responding, I shuffled closer to him and burrowed myself into his side, making myself comfortable in his warmth.

“Stop wiggling and let me hold you.” He whispered with a laugh.

I placed a kiss on his hoodie-covered chest. “Sorry, I’m just cold.” I laughed.

“Wanna go back home?” He asked, pulling back to look at me.

“No.”  I replied in a whisper. “Here is perfect.”

He smiled.

It was perfect.

The wind was soft and gentle, making Noah’s short hair softly blow.

It was nice like this.

“Baby?” He started.

“Yeah bub?” I asked in reply.

“When did you realise that you were in love with me?” He asked.

The question hit my heart hard, shooting back memories of the night I left his house without a word.

“Do we have to talk about that?” I asked, pleading with him to change the subject.

“Baby it’s just a question.” He reasoned.

“I know, but we haven’t talked about that night in so long.” I reminded him.

“Oh.” He replied, catching on to which night I was referring to.

A slightly uncomfortable silence fell between the two of us as we both replayed that night in our minds.

We both had very different reflections of that night.

Both of us spent it wondering how the other felt, but since Stephen told Noah some twisted lie, he never felt the same about it.

It was hard for Noah to separate what Stephen said from how he had felt that night.

“That night was when I first said that I loved you.” I began in a quiet voice before continuing. “But I’m pretty sure I’ve loved you long before that.”

“Oh?” Noah asked, his interest piqued at my statement.

“Yeah.” I replied, more confident in what I was saying. “I think I’ve loved you since I met you partly.”

“Only partly?” He asked.

“I think I could sense that something was there, but I wasn’t sure what.” I explained. “Like I could tell you were special, but I wasn’t sure why.”

“Hmm.” He replied, clearly pondering what I had said.

We fell back into a comfortable silence, entwined in each other’s limbs, gazing at the sky above us.

“How about you?” I asked.

“Hmm?” he mumbled in response.

“How long have you known that you love me?” I pushed.

“Since the day that I met you.” He replied with a smile, his eyes filled with love.

“Really?” I asked, genuinely shocked by his answer.

“Since the moment you walked into Michael’s birthday party, I knew you were the one for me.” He said simply, his eyes reflecting the stars above, creating intoxicating constellations in his deep, chocolate brown eyes.

We lay like that for a while, just staring into each other’s eyes as memories of our friendship flashed across our minds like a movie.

“Noah…” I began in a whisper.

“Yeah?” He replied in a similarly quiet whisper.

“I’m sorry.” I admitted.

“For what?” He asked, seeming genuinely confused as to what I could be apologising for.

I took a breath, trying to steel my nerves as I tried to condense my thoughts.

“Everything.” I began just loud enough to be audible.

“Baby yo-“ He began before I interrupted him.

“No listen. I hurt you and you didn’t deserve it. I toyed with your feelings, I used you, I fucked up our friendship. I feel bad because you’re my everything but I treated you like you meant nothing. All the shit that happened between us, was my fault. That stupid arrangement was all my fault. Not yours. I put us in that position.” I said, getting increasingly angry with myself as I went on.

Noah’s large hands enveloped themselves around my own, drawing me from my thoughts.

“Stop.” He whispered. “I used you too.”

“No-“ I began, before he interrupted me this time.

“I did. I used you because I liked the fact that I got to have you, despite it not being real. Plus you scared off Grace. I haven’t heard from her since that party.” He continued.

That made me smile.

“I used you too and there’s no escaping that. I blamed you for shit you didn’t deserve. Saying that you wanted to be with Stephen? T  hat was a low blow and I’m so disgusted with myself for even thinking that.” He practically gagged saying Stephen’s name, and I didn’t blame him one bit. Stephen was a vile creature. However, hearing his say that he was disgusted with himself upset me.

“It’s okay, you apologised like a million times already.” I giggled.

“Stop laughing, I know, I mean it stop.” He laughed, playfully attempting to cover my mouth.

We continued our playful wrestling for a few more moments before retreating back to cuddling into each other’s arms. I sighed contently, Noah kissed the top of my head.

“I hate to bring up the Satan spawn.” Noah began, with a sigh, rubbing my back lazily as he spoke.

I instantly knew who he was referring to.

“Go on.” I playfully rolled my eyes, making him laugh. God I loved his laugh.

“What happened with him?” He asked.

“Well, A complaint was filed by Wendy, his assistant, for harassment. Apparently, he had been doing it to other employees too.” I said with a sigh. “Gabi and Ashley backed the claim. I think the entire department did actually. Myself included of course.”

Noah tensed as the conversation continued. Something had awoken in his brain.

Stephen was still a sore spot for Noah, especially after what happened at the restaurant. He had been left with a lot of doubt in his beautiful mind, but it had been slowly dissipating over the last few months.

“I’m sorry.” He said in a small, soft voice.

“Why?” I asked, genuinely confused by his apology.

“I feel like I failed you.” He began, his entire demeanour shifting as he spoke. “I wasn’t there for you enough to stop him sooner. He should’ve been fired a while ago. I don’t know, it just feels like there’s more I could’ve done to help you instead of just picking you up from work.”

My heart broke at his admission. I hated it when he spoke like this, like he wasn’t good enough.

“Noah, his behaviour is not on you, there was nothing that you could’ve done to prevent this okay?” I tried to assure him, placing a hand on his bicep and squeezing lightly in an effort to provide him with some comfort.

“Still, I’m sorry.” He mumbled, offering a weak smile in an attempt to convince me, failing miserably. I placed a loving kiss on his cheek, making his smile widen as a blush crept onto his face.

“Jesse literally punched him, there’s literally nothing else that you could’ve done.” I said with a laugh, trying to diffuse the tension.

“I should’ve punched him.” Noah mumbled, burying his face into my neck as he spoke. His stubble tickled my neck, making me erupt in laughter.

“You would’ve killed him, and you would be in jail and I would never see you again.” I giggled.

“Who says I’d get caught?” His god-awful attempt at an ominous voice made me laugh.

He pulled me in close to his chest.

“Idiot.” I laughed under my breath, his own laugh shaking me as I rested my head over his chest.

I could hear his heart beating loudly in his ribcage, slowly overtaking my thoughts as I listened to the steady beating.

We lay like that for even longer. The stars above us shone even brighter than before as the night wore on.

His heartbeat had become the only thing that I could hear now besides the crickets and the gentle breeze against the rustling foliage around us.

If I could, I would stay like this forever, in his arms.

It felt safe, warm, real.

It felt… right. Like I belonged in between his arms.

He held me tightly as if I could slip away from him at any moment. But I wouldn’t, and he knew that. We were both in it for the long hall. Until we’re old and grey. Until we can barely do anything other than look into each other’s eyes and admire the stars above us.

There was no denying it, Noah was the love of my life.

He was my home.

And I was his.

When we were together, everything made sense. It was like that moment when you finally finish a rubix cube that you’ve been trying to solve for months, maybe even years, but when you click those final pieces together, everything just feels whole. Like it was finally were it was supposed to be. It felt right.

Lying in the grass under the night sky like this, we fit together like pieces of a jigsaw puzzle. Perfectly entwined with one another. Perfectly stuck together.

Just perfect.

[morganas-pendragons]

My Word (Of The Lady of Eregion) | Celebrimbor

Post episode 5. Celebrimbor is beginning to come apart at the seams, and you are not having it.

tag: @thesolarangel @erebusbabylon @sailon-ishmael @ladyoflindon @pentaghasm @thatlittlered

Merry Christmas to those who celebrate! I’m hoping to write some more tomorrow!

***

You know something is wrong when Celebrimbor comes into the chamber you’ve taken rest in, expression contorted by fear and hands trembling uncontrollably at his sides.

“Celebrimbor?” Your voice draws him out of his panic, but you cannot help exiting the bed to settle by his side and cradle his hands in your own, pressing your lips to his knuckles. “What has happened?”

He has been swathed in darkness since the arrival. The Harbinger never ceases. It torments him, He torments him, in every moment.

Celebrimbor can only find safety with you. With you, it is quiet.

With you, there is no torment.

He is so tempted not to tell you. To spare you a glimpse into his fracturing mind, to simply indulge his selfish desires of hiding from the responsibility that Annatar has placed upon him.

Part of you wanted this, remember?

“Celebrimbor,” You repeat. He takes that moment to properly look at you: You are wearing a shift that is nearly sheer and sits nicely on your shoulders, hair loose around your face and far too much skin for him to ache to touch. Celebrimbor dares not to allow his thoughts to wander. He may be selfish, but what just happened in the forge must not be swept under the rug. “You did not make me your Lady unofficially without giving thought to the depths of the trust between yourself and I. Do not keep from me. What is wrong?”

It has been a long time since he has felt that helpless.

“Annatar wishes to make more rings.” Celebrimbor’s breathing gradually slows as he watches you separate each of his fingers, pressing a kiss to his fingertips while never daring to tear your eyes from his. You have been utilizing touch for quite some time now, but it has a completely different hold on Celebrimbor now. It is grounding. It clears the haze that has taken hold over his mind. “I refused.”

“I am failing to understand what has warranted such a reaction then.”

“He is to make them anyway. Rings for Men, as they were most susceptible to Morgoth’s influence.”

Your fingers absently trail across his jawline, eyes softening as Celebrimbor leans into the warmth of your palm. “That is absurd,” You snap sharply, not at him, but at the situation and the gall Annatar has to even attempt such a thing. “He cannot perform such an act without you. You are the Ringmaker.”

“Even the Ringmaker does not have the final say when the Valar are involved.” He says. Celebrimbor sighs and pulls you closer to him, practically pressed against every edge and crevice of his body so you cannot be pried away, so you are in every part of him.

You are tempted to continue to argue, to convince him of the truth that seems so clear to you but so muddled to the others who have been brought under Annatar’s influence.

“Come, my love.” You say softly. You try to hide the concern in your voice as you smooth your hands over his shoulders. “Let us be rid of these.”

Celebrimbor dipped his head and lifted his arms to allow you to remove his apron and robes. Once he was dressed in his night attire, he lifted his head high enough to find your face inches away from his own, bright eyes gleaming in the moonlight of the bedroom as they shift down to his lips.

He crosses the distance first. Kissing you is like breathing the air that his lungs have been so deprived of, inhaling that sweet, comforting feeling of safety and love that dwells within the very heart of you.

“My dear, you bring me such peace.” Celebrimbor says softly. You open your mouth to reply and find yourself distracted by the rustle of footsteps outside the door. Light, barely perceptible, but undoubtedly belonging to one of the remaining smiths returning to the forge. “I believe it is time for me to retire. Will you join me?”

Something heavy settles in your stomach as your eyes shift back to the hallway. “I must take care of something first,” You murmur softly. “Settle into the bed. I will join you once the hour of the Wolf has fallen.”

“Wait,” His fingers wrap around your wrist as you grasp your robes in the other hand. “Do you remember the promise I made to you?”

“That you would always remain. Never to leave, never to be taken away. That I would be taken care of.”

Celebrimbor’s eyes gleam in the moonlight as he nods. Something settles between the two of you, like a weight that threatens to widen the gap that has been created by Annatar’s arrival. It scares you. You should be coming together, not further apart.

“I will do everything in my power to keep it,” Celebrimbor says. “Hurry back. I will be waiting.”

You are out the door before he can say anything else. You cannot bear to look at him again, not with the unease settling into your stomach as you soundlessly head down the hall toward its source.

***

After calming Celebrimbor within your chambers, you stride out the main door toward the forge where you know Annatar to be. The Lord of Gifts is in conversation with Mirdania. Your dearest friend, clever as she is, is also incredibly impressionable. You refuse to let her be influenced by the likes of the snake who dwells within the nest.

“Mirdania.”

Mirdania is also one of the few elves who is aware that Celebrimbor intends to propose to you, to officially give you the title of Lady of Eregion. Celebrimbor has bestowed this title upon you himself, but the marriage between you and the Greatest of the Elven Smiths would solidify this arrangement.

“My Lady!” She exclaims. The younger elleth jumps away from Annatar as if he has burned her, cheeks tinging pink as she crosses the forge to meet you. “My apologies. I did not notice the hour.”

Your eyes slowly shift behind her to Annatar. “You are free to return to your home for the evening, dear friend. Be at peace.” Mirdania bows lowly in reply and scurries out of the forge, leaving you alone with Annatar. Despite the heat that radiates from the fires within, you cannot help but feel the bone-deep chill that resides within. “For the time you require of him before and after the hour of the Wolf, Lord Celebrimbor will be otherwise indisposed.”

“And why is it you delivering this information?”

“As is the role that was bestowed on me, I deliver Lord Celebrimbor’s correspondence and see to matters of the city,” You reply. You still will not grant him the satisfaction of being under his spell, of meeting his eyes and granting him basic respect. “Which is what you are.”

If anything, Annatar is quite impressed at how you seem to exude a confidence and defiance against all he has done to warp the reality around him. To turn Celebrimbor and the elves against one another. To make them distrust their Lord.

You are the only one not affected.

“And under the authority of whom do you speak?”

Cold, unyielding grey eyes meet his as you turn around to acknowledge him. “By the word of The Lady of Eregion, my Lord,” You say sharply. “My word holds as much claim as his does. And as that is so, may I also dismiss you for the eve, as the hour is late and the rings are of no importance as of right now. Goodnight.”

Your robes sweep against the floor as you turn to depart and return to where you left Celebrimbor. Your heart lays fast asleep in a bed that is not his own, breathing deep and dreams peaceful as you climb in behind him and press your face into his hair.

Celebrimbor has never broken a promise to you since you arrived in Eregion.

You do not believe he will start now.

[carlsangel]

GOOD TASTE

carl grimes x reader

(you and carl bond after terminus.)

tags: fluff? maybe? idk i just exist

masterlist here!

You’ve been alone for quite a long time. Maybe not technically because you’ve had Rosita, Abraham and Eugene, but you’ve felt alone for quite a while. You don’t particularly let it get to you though, you’ve always had some sort of entertainment to enjoy. It helped you stay yourself, the same person you were when this all started.

You traveled very far with your group, you’ve lost a lot of people however. Someone you stuck with throughout all of it was Rosita. She was one of the people who stayed with you after losing your family and the others of the group. Abraham was always sort of standoffish. He gave you advice and was aggressive with you when he needed to be. Yelling at you to avoid you getting hurt, all that. Eugene…he was just there. He was just…yeah, there. He was helpful when he needed to be though.

The four of you have met and parted ways with many people and many groups. It all changed when you met one group in specific. You’d met Glenn and Tara and you saw their determination to find their people. You’ve never met others that dedicated. Usually they would accept the fact that their family was gone, but they were different. Even after finding Maggie, Sasha and Bob, they wanted to look further.

You believed Terminus would be the end of it all. You thought your story ended there.

You were surprised to find out that this group of people were successfully able to find their way back to each other; they had such a strong love for each other that even after being separated tragically, they figured it all out. And they got you out.

You were now on the road, you’d been smart enough to hide your bag with all your entertainment inside on the outskirts of Terminus. You noticed a guy your age, Carl. He’d seemed sweet, but very worried all the time; he made you remember who you used to be after your family died. You didn’t feel like bothering him, he’d just reunited with his baby sister who he’d presumed was dead. So you let him come to you.

You were walking along the railroad, listening to music. Trying to process everything you’d seen at Terminus.

“Hey.” You feel a tap on your shoulder and you pull out the headphone in your right ear, turning to see he’d approached you. You smile. “Hi.” You pull your ipod out from your back pocket to pause your music. “Whatcha listening to?” He asks, pointing at the ipod as you shoved it back in your front pocket. “Uhhh just Everlong.” He gives you a curious look. “Foo Fighters?” You add, not realizing he didn’t know what you were talking about.

“Oh, yeah I know who you mean now. Sorry I’ve forgotten the names n stuff.” He smiles. “Don’t worry about it. Wanna listen?” You pull out your left headphone and stick it out to him. He looks at it and thinks for a moment before taking it to put it in his ear. You scoot a little closer to him so it’s easier to listen and you put the right headphone in your ear.

You turn up the volume a little and smile as you press play.

You guys walk like that for a while, just listening to music together peacefully. He smiles at you sweetly throughout, and you begin to feel less alone. Like you felt before. The group stops for the night and you settle into a tent with Rosita. You go and sit next to Carl around the fire and he seems happy you chose to sit with him. “Soooo what do you have in there?” He points to your bag. “Just stuff for entertainment, which probably isn’t that smart in hindsight but…maybe it is. I dunno.” You both giggle and you unzip your bag.

“Well I’ve got these, I’m not too sure you’re into comics but-” He cuts you off. “No way, you have Science Dog? I haven’t read this since- well since…you know.” You nod in response. “Yeah, yeah I know.” You hand him the comic and continue digging through your bag, grabbing Invincible and some Spider-man comics. “Wow, you’ve got good taste.” He says with a smile, flipping through the selection of comics you have. “Thanks.”

“So which ones your favorite?”

“It’s gotta be Science Dog.”

“Really? Same…reminds me of before.”

You guys blabber on about it for the rest of the night, eventually being yelled at to separate and go to bed by Rick after dinner.

It’s funny how a friendship can form from your “good taste.”

a/n: so sorry about this ITS SO BAD not to mention how short it is, i’m so so sorry. ALSO would you guys call me a nerd if i told you i have a science dog shirt and the actual science dog comic? (i’m just a girl btw pls don’t call me a nerd) also hope u like the banner for these next three fics bc LAWD HES SO FINE.

[goldenshrikecomic]

FAQ

Please read these before sending asks! It's also good to check the tags listed on the pinned post to see if it's already answered. Where can I read GS? On Comicfury or DeviantArt. Two pages ahead on both Patreon and Ko-fi.

Who works on this comic? Only me, ratt/doeprince. You can call me either, I usually refer to myself as doeprince when it's more official, otherwise ratt or some secret third thing. I'm an amateur artist and I draw these comics for fun without much ambition to gain greatness. I want to make enough money to be able to keep working on more comics, and buy trinkets.

How can I support what you do? Why thank you for asking! All my income comes from making comics, so the support on either Patreon or Ko-fi is literally making my comic endeavours possible.

Do you have other projects? I work on some secondary comics. Jet and Harley and Honey are currently updating, Corpse is finished. You can find my other art on doe-prince.

How long will Golden Shrike be? I don't know how many pages. I hope it's less than 1000.

What programs do you use? SAI for lineart, CSP for coloring and bubbles, PS for text and backgrounds. Hoooow do you draw the antlers from different perspectives? I've made 3D models for each recurring antlered character.

Is GS going to have physical merch? Will it be printed? Consider this a no, but I won't say never.

Does GS have a map, official wiki or dub or something like that? No. There's a fan wiki out there full of inaccurate information so take everything in there with tons of grains of salt. There's no map. The dub on YT is separate from me, I've had no hand in it.

Can I make a fan character? Can they interact with yours? You can absolutely make a fan character! I just ask you not to make them interact with mine, at least not in any kind of heavy way. It's a slippery slope and I've seen people treat my characters very rudely to make them suit their needs.

Can I make fanart/writing? Yes! All sfw and well-meaning works are welcome. Just tag me so I can see them! Why are the borders black and sometimes white? White borders means it's a flashback.

Deer don't do that!!!!! Or birds!! Or plants! The moon shouldn't be that shape right now. Everything in GS is fictional for this very reason. I shall not be shackled by the chains of realism when there's entire new worlds in my fingertips. I aim to make things believeable in its context, not realistic. Are other animals sentient, can they talk? Sure they are and can, but not outside their own species. A frog can't hold a conversation with a deer, but a deer and antelope could possibly make it work. There's exceptions though.

How old are main characters? They're fawns right? No they are not, they'd all be in their early 20s if they were humans.

What does sire mean? It keeps popping up in different contexts. You can liken this term to 'father', as in your dad but also something like a priest. The priest isn't your dad but "father forgive me for I've sinned". So sire is a) respected stag, b) very formal way to address your father. Dame is the female counterpart. Why are the does so small compared to stags.... are you a freak... do you just hate women..... Listen when I started GS I had been dwelling in a place where monster deer characters had insane size differences and it became some kind of norm to me and of course it found its way into my comic. Now I just have to keep drawing those tiny women to keep up the consistency. I've created bigger ladies nowadays because I too think it's a little silly now.

Please please will this character ever get a mate? Will this pairing be canon? Will you please make this pairing canon? I won't spoil any pairings, I think it'd be the most boring thing to do to my own work! I'll only confirm the ones already established in the comic.

Is this a speck of ember? Is it snow? What is that floating thing, is it relevant to the plot? IT'S JUST MY DUST BRUSH LEAVE ME ALONE.

[dustmusings]

tread carefully

Ahsoka x F!Reader / Jedi!Reader

word count: 5.4k

description: it's been years since the fall of the republic, but you're still struggling to understand life as you separate further from the force. an unlikely meeting with someone from your old life begins to bring things into focus

warnings/tags: reunited childhood friends to lovers, mentions of order 66, complicated feelings about the force & jedi, reader has a nickname

a/n: this is different from what I usually do but I hope it still resonates with some of you :) this is going to be the first part in a miniseries!!! so comment/message me if you want to be added to a taglist. I don't know when subsequent parts will be out but if you like this one then hassle me and they'll come out sooner lol. FELLOW WRITERS: tell me how tf to talk about the force because i’m very much making it up as I go along

next part | masterlist | read on ao3

The hissing sound of steam emitting let you know that the door to your ship had opened up, but you remained stationed in the pilot's seat for a moment longer. You took a deep, steadying breath, collecting your scattered thoughts, and lifted your hood over your head, draping your hair in front of your face to further hide your identity.

Over the years, hiding had got easier, but it still wasn’t any less dangerous. You had to keep your wits about you, and it was getting a little tiresome. You kept that in mind as you descended the stairs of your ship and closed it up, tossing a few credits to the Ithorian whose docking bay you had landed in. You wouldn’t be here long, it was just a stop for fuel, and a strong drink.

Your legs dragged you through the rundown town, buildings painted by dirt and graffiti, windows boarded up and protected by bars. The dust that your feet kicked up invaded your body and clung to your lungs, drawing a sharp cough and leaving an unpleasant sting in your throat. There was nobody in the streets, but you pulled your poncho down over your face anyway, feeling watched. This was the last place you wanted to be, really, but anything was better than running out of fuel at the edge of the outer rim.

The luminescent sign above the entrance to the bar flickered at you as you approached, almost taunting you. Look what the loth-cat dragged in, you imagined it saying. The door slid open, and you took stock of the inside interior of the bar. There was no better descriptor than dingy — it was barely lit, aside from a few oil lamps that were placed on the tables around the room. There was a cloud of smoke that clearly emanated from the pair of Balosars sat at the far end of the bar, leaving the atmosphere feeling heavy and overall just unwelcoming. The bartender didn’t seem to care all too much about his newest customer, and you had to call over to him twice to get his attention.

You ordered a short whiskey-based drink, only hearing a grunt from the bartender before he went to fix it for you. You leaned your elbows onto the bar and kept your head down, but there was something pulling your attention. It was something you hadn’t felt in a long time now, a familiar shimmer through the force that you no longer recognised.

Your head turned slowly in the direction of the feeling, and your eyes laid on a figure in the far corner of the room, taking a sip from their drink, their hood covering their face. It wasn’t hard to tell they were Togruta by race, their blue and white lekku hanging out in front of their robe, but that didn’t give you any more indication as to why they were gaining your attention. You weren’t sure if you were just sensing their nervousness, a tension within them, or if it was something else that the force was trying to communicate to you. Nowadays, you weren’t attuned enough that you could sort out one thing from the next.

A dull thud snapped you attention back to the bar, and you found the bartender holding out his hand with an impatient frown on his face, your drink placed in front of you. You dug your hand into the pocket of your poncho and pulled out a few credits, handing them over to him, and he snatched them away quickly, turning on his heel to stalk away from you without a word. You rolled your eyes. No wonder there was hardly anyone in this grimy place.

You took the glass in hand and made your way over to a booth on the other side of the bar to the Togruta whose presence demanded your attention, for a reason you couldn’t pinpoint. You settled into your seat, taking a sip of the amber liquid and caring little for how it burned your throat. All your attention was focused on watching the hooded figure across the room, and it seemed that they were doing the same.

There was something surrounding them, something that thrummed with energy, something much brighter than the other beings in the room. It was wishful thinking to think this stranger had any sort of connection to the force themselves, and you weren’t even going to entertain that idea. It was still too painful to even begin to think about.

At the start, those four years ago when the jedi purge had happened, you were certain that there must have been other survivors. You had gone looking, chasing whispers across the galaxy on the word of people you had once trusted. It had been foolish, some part of you knew it then, but now you had the scars to prove it. You had been hiding ever since, hopping from planet to planet, star system to star system, never staying anywhere too long for fear that the inquisitors would find you once more.

You had never encountered another jedi in those four years, and you weren’t going to start hoping you would now. You weren’t certain it would even be a good thing.

You continued watching the stranger nonetheless, trying to decipher what this familiar sensation was. Swirling your drink slowly, you brought it to your lips once more, pausing before you took a swig. Your eyes momentarily slid down to the melting ice in the glass, the taste of the liquor diluted, but when you looked back over the Togruta was gone. You furrowed your brows, peering all around the bar and not finding their hooded form, and you realised that the fluctuation in the force had receded.

You decided to pay it no mind, and instead focused on finishing your drink before it was mostly water. There was no point putting stock in every strange experience you had in this galaxy, otherwise you’d never get anywhere. You finished your drink in one final gulp, and stood from your seat.

You could feel the whiskey having already invaded your senses. You had never been able to hold your alcohol well, no matter how often you had drank it. It sent a warmth flowing through your veins, and a small smile crossed your face as you exited the bar.

Making your way back to the docking bay where your ship was, you were hyperaware of the sudden appearance of a number of seedy characters, men who gave you strange looks, people who kept their hoods up but followed you with their glowing eyes nonetheless. You made a note not to come back to this planet, not for another refuel, and especially not for a drink.

Before you could make it to your ship, you turned down an alley and were pushed against the wall with all the force of your attacker’s body, a small pocket knife pressed against your throat.

“Who are you?”

It was a woman’s voice, one that you felt you knew, but you couldn’t place it. The quiver in the force was now burning bright in your mind, and with her pressing her forearm across your collarbone to keep you in place, you could see the orange skin of the Togruta you had been watching in the bar. You weren’t in the mood to answer questions without getting your own answers, so you reached your hand up and tugged the hood off of her head.

Your breath stopped. It took you a second with the subtle haze of your alcohol induced fogginess, but you realised that you knew the face in front of you well, or at least, you used to. Your eyes trailed along the white markings that contrasted against her vermillion skin, memories flashing before your eyes and a wave of emotions invading your mind. There was something in her eyes, a tiredness that hadn’t been there before, but it was unquestionably her.

“Ahsoka” you breathed out her name in a hushed, disbelieving tone.

Ahsoka frowned deeply, pressing the blade harder against your throat, “How do you know who I am? Who sent you here?”

“What, you don’t recognise me?” your voice was slightly teasing, despite the stab to your heart that you felt.

Ahsoka was one of the first people you ever considered to be a friend. Being similar age, she was a youngling in the same class as you, and for a time you did everything together. You supported each other, you played in the temple gardens, you got into trouble — far more than any of the other younglings. You didn't just grow up alongside her, but you helped in raising each other. To think that she didn't know who you were, even after almost a decade of not speaking, it pained you in a way you couldn't find the words for.

She tugged your own hood down and looked over your features. You could see the flicker of familiarity in her deep blue eyes, and the crease in her brow relented almost immediately.

Her grip on you lessened, her voice becoming softer as she spoke your name, “—what are you doing here?”

A weight lifted from your chest as your name left her lips.

“Same as you probably — hiding” you shrugged with a nonchalance that you certainly didn’t feel.

She continued to hold you to the wall, her eyes boring into yours, and you were trapped in her gaze as if it were a tractor beam. It had been so long since you had seen her, and even longer since you’d looked into her eyes properly. The feeling was heartachingly bittersweet. The last time you had been close enough to peer into the depths of her eyes, there had been tears of farewell gathered in their edges, unspilling.

“How are you alive?” she asked, finally stepping back from you and putting away her weapon.

She looked about as caught off-guard by the encounter as you felt, and you couldn’t help but smirk at the hauntingly familiar appraising look she was giving you.

“I could ask you the same thing” you pointed out, folding your arms across your chest.

Ahsoka gave you a dubious look, but a breathy laugh escaped her all the same. She took a moment to look over your face and trail her eyes down your form.

“You— you look different than I remember” she said it as if it were an apology, as if she wished you were meeting under different circumstances, where you didn’t look so run down.

The tone tugged at something deep within you, something forgotten and painful that you had buried when parting ways. You had never been one to wear your heart on your sleeve, and you certainly weren't going to start now, so you kept your voice light.

“I’m still taller than you” you lifted your lips into a smirk.

“Please, barely” she shook her head with an eyeroll, a smile parting her lips, “and I can't believe you're still holding on to that”

“Oh come on, it’s the only thing I have over you. I’ve got to cling to it” you knocked your elbow against hers gently, a teasing smile pulling at your lips.

Ahsoka's lips quirked up on one side, a small huff escaping her as she looked to the floor with a blush dusting her cheeks.

It was true, she had always been a better jedi than you, in almost every way. She had been taken as a padawan far before you, and she had a much deeper connection to the force than you had ever had. That must've been why you could feel her burning so bright through the force, she exuded such balance, clarity — things you had never fully grasped.

“Well, I—” she looked up, catching your gaze again, “I better be going”

“Right, me too” you nodded curtly, a little put out that there couldn't be another moment spared to speak, a few more shared words or anything else.

There was a curious expression on her features. She was watching you carefully, and it was hard to read her. It felt like a punch in the gut, despite its innocence. It just made you realise how close you once were, and how empty you had felt since parting ways.

She seemed more serious than she used to be, and it was in a manner that you could tell hadn't just come with maturity, but no doubt through experiences so harrowing that nobody should have to live through. That was how the war was for many, and you dreaded to think what her life had been like since the fall, and even more, what she had to do to survive the purge.

With a few rapid blinks, as if snapping herself from a daydream, Ahsoka tugged her hood back over her montrals. She nodded to you with a tight smile, a finality about the movement, and walked away.

You didn't move at first, just letting your eyes follow her as she left. When she made it to the end of the alley, she turned, her eyes finding yours again. She opened her mouth the speak, but nothing came out, and you raised a questioning eyebrow. She snapped her mouth shut, instead giving you a lopsided smile, one you remembered all too well.

“It's good to see you” she said earnestly, the slight tip of her head so she looked at you through her brow.

You gave her a nod in return, “you too Soka”

Her mouth formed a grin, her eyes brightening for a moment, eyebrows raising in recognition, and then she was gone.

You felt her signature recede in the force, taking her light with her, and leaving you in the darkness. You let out a heavy sigh, your head hanging down to look to your feet.

You weren't ready for that. Seeing any other jedi would've been a shock, but because it wasn't just anyone, because it was her, it felt different. You weren't prepared to know that she was alive. The knowledge that she was out there somewhere in the galaxy, hiding from the Empire, same as you, things suddenly felt like they didn't make sense anymore. Not that they really did to begin with, but it was as if the balancing scales of the universe had tipped, and you couldn’t figure out which way was up.

You tried to supress it, walking the short distance back to your ship and settling into the pilot's chair, but you couldn't get her out if your head. You wanted to know what she'd been up to all these years, how she'd survived, if she'd had any brushes with the inquisitors too. In some ways, it didn't surprise you that she had survived this long. She was smart, far smarter than you in many ways, and she was quick, resourceful. At least, she had been, when you knew her.

You felt your eyelids becoming heavier as more thoughts weighed on you mind, and when you’d worn your mind to exhaustion, you let yourself slip into unconsciousness.

The air was thick with the vibrations of life, your surroundings calling out to you and you listening intently. You could feel every little thing around you; the roots of the great tree, the movement of the water as it slid along the scales of the fish, the buzzing of the winged bugs that fed on the flowers. It was peaceful. It was calm. It was the most calm you'd ever felt.

“Nova!” You heard the nickname hissed at you, a mischievous sound accompanied by a short giggle.

If your eyes were open you would've rolled them.

“We're supposed to be trying to meditate, Ahsoka” you scolded, though your tone betrayed your grin.

“We have years to meditate” she claimed, “but it's not everyday we get to explore the temple gardens”

You cracked open an eye, a cautious smile curling your lips.

“It's not” you agreed.

“Well come on then!” she grabbed your hand, dragging you from your seat on the soft patch of grass and tugging you through a tunnel of tangled vines.

The dark enveloped the two of you, the branches blocking out the sunlight and casting swirling shadows against your skin. You would've been unnerved by the way the twigs seemed to reach for you, if it wasn't for the comforting presence of Ahsoka's hand gripping yours, guiding you through the darkness.

Anyone would be forgiven for thinking Ahsoka was the younger of you two. The way she was tugging at your hand as you passed through the tunnel mimicked the way a child would grab their parent’s hand to show them something they'd been working on. Then again, you still were children, even if it hadn't felt like it for a long time. You were barely eleven, and somehow already felt the weight of the galaxy on your shoulders. Ahsoka didn't seem to let it affect her in the same way.

“Soka” you called, tugging on her hand, “Master Yoda will be back soon”

“It's fine” she insisted, pulling you through the archway at the end to come upon a small enclosed area.

Dappled sunlight shined through the branches of a tall tree, and the leaves swayed in the breeze, a few of them gliding down towards you. The leaves were a brilliant golden colour, and any day now the rest of them would break off in the same manner. Ahsoka caught one in her hand, twirling it by the stem before she looked back at you with a grin and a gentle squeeze of your hand.

“Pretty, isn't it” she commented.

You smiled back, something gentle only reserved for her, “How did you know this was here?”

She shrugged, “I heard Master Plo talking about it”

You crouched to the ground and picked up one of the leaves. It was a deep orange colour, and you smiled at the familiarity of it.

“You match the leaves Soka” you pointed out, handing it to her.

She grinned even wider, and your heart sang with affection.

“I suppose I do”

She untangled her fingers from yours to take the fallen leaf from you, and you could feel your cheeks heat up a little, albeit unwittingly. There was something inexplicable about her that made you react strangely to her touch.

You were close. So close that sometimes it felt like your presence in the force was joined with hers, like it wasn't clear when you ended and she began. You could see her force signature clearly when you closed your eyes, a brilliant white light, a pure, beaming, positive energy that you couldn't ignore. Nowadays it burned brighter than ever in the front of your mind.

“C'mon, I found something” Ahsoka said in a soft voice, and you realised that you had just been staring at her, which only fanned the heat in your cheeks to a flame.

You followed after her as she made her way around the large tree, treading carefully around its roots. You could feel the life within it, though it was entirely different from the energy you could feel from Ahsoka. It was dark, inky and unyielding, and it felt old, the roots burrowing deep. You had never experienced such a thing.

“Here”

She suddenly dropped down beneath the tree, and your eyes went wide, scrambling forwards onto your knees and peering over the edge of the hole. Inside, Ahsoka was grinning up at you, and you deflated with an aggressive sigh.

“That wasn't funny Soka” you grumbled, swinging your legs over the edge and the hopping down after her.

“It was a little bit funny” she giggled, poking at your ribs.

You pushed her away, trying to hide your smile as you did so.

“Do you like it?” she asked.

“Like what?” you tilted your head in confusion.

“Our new hiding spot” she grinned, tugging you down onto the floor, “here, I got you Reythan crackers”

As she took your hand and placed a stack of crackers to your palm, you took in the space for the first time. It was a gap between tree roots, pretty snug but the ground was flat enough and there was definitely room for two younglings to fit. It was a little sheltered from the sun, but still light enough to see each other.

Ahsoka shuffled forwards so your crossed knees were pressed against hers, “so…?”

“I love it” you smiled widely, taking a bite of the snack, “and thanks for these”

“No problem, Nova”

You awoke suddenly, thrown back into consciousness and hearing the nickname bouncing around in your head. It echoed a few times, Ahsoka's voice speaking it aloud, but it wasn't her voice from the memory, it was the voice you had heard only recently, in the alley nearby. You rubbed a hand over your face, taking a moment to come back to yourself.

You had never dreamt like that, a happy memory from an simpler time. Any other dream you might have had recently was more nightmarish than anything, and often contained fragments of more painful memories. You pondered it for a moment, and there was something calling to you from the depths of your subconscious, something pleading with you to see reason.

It was hard not to feel that the force brought you together again for a reason. At least, that's what it felt like. It seemed ridiculous, especially after having been so cut off from the force for so long, but something felt changed. You hadn't put your trust in the force in years, but right now, it felt like the only thing you should be listening to.

Against your better judgement, you sprang from your seat, bounding out of your ship as if it was on fire. You made it out onto the street where you had seen her last, your eyes darting around but only find the same unsavoury types as you had noticed before.

It was a hopeless pursuit, she may not even be here anymore. Instead, you tried something you thought you'd never do again.

Laying your back against a wall to hide in the shadows, you focused your mind, and attempted to reach out through the force. You squeezed your eyes closed when you were met by nothing, and tried again, searching through the life forms you could feel all around you to find the one that shone brighter than the others.

It was hard to sort one thing from the next, it had been so long since you'd tried, but before long, something was pulling your attention. You made your way towards it, weaving through alleys and deeper into the town as you focused on it, zeroing in. You weren't certain it was what you were looking for at first, but the closer you got, the more you could feel the light, the warmth of her presence in the force.

Turning a corner, you came upon a shipyard. You knew she was here, you could feel it. Casting your eyes around the space, you could see a number of ships, most of them under maintenance, and it smelled overwhelmingly like engine oil and grease. It was exceedingly unpleasant, distractingly so, and your wrinkled your nose in disgust. You tried to hone in on Ahsoka’s signature again, closing your eyes and covering your ears to tune out the distractions, and you felt the feeling drawing you in from right ahead of you.

There was a large ship towards the back of the shipyard as you approached, surrounded by people waiting; a transport off-world no doubt. You glanced around the figures of all shapes and sizes, until your eyes caught the striped lekku beneath the hood, the point of her chin and her dark lips. Your heart skipped a beat instinctively. Ahsoka was about to leave.

You stood in the shadows, watching her as she waited in line to board the transport. You didn't know how to approach the situation. She'd probably think you were crazy, and you didn't exactly have a plan as to where you would go or why she should come with you. Now that you were really thinking about it, you weren't certain what even made you seek her out.

Ahsoka’s head turned, as if something had caught her attention. Her eyes scanned the darkness that you hid in, and you felt the way she reached out to you. She could sense that you were there, and when you reached out in return, you felt a sensation that was startlingly familiar. It was that closeness that you had once felt, the way that your signatures mixed, where it wasn’t clear where you ended and she begun. It was comforting, spreading a warmth through your veins, and you felt like a child again; like everything was simple, and you were safe.

It only got stronger, and that’s when you realised that Ahsoka was walking over to you. She stopped just ahead of you, pulling her hood up a fraction so you could see her eyes. You took a deep breath, unsure where to begin, and you were sure that whatever you could say would feel ridiculous under the weight of her gaze. Her eyes watched you steadily, a vulnerability in their depths that told you she had felt the connection too.

“I um—” you stuttered out, “I was wondering—”

What were you wondering? If she’d join you in hiding across the galaxy? That seemed like such a monumental proposal all of a sudden. You had barely even had a proper conversation, and now you were inviting her to… live with you?

Ahsoka’s lips quirked up on one side, her infamous smirk teasing you. You huffed, shaking your head in self deprecation as your cheeks heated.

”Where— do you want— come with… me?”

Maker, you were being so awkward.

Ahsoka laughed. It was a strikingly joyous sound, something that made you heart sing, and your connection through the force buzz with positive energy. You rolled your eyes a little, still embarrassed by your behaviour, and tried to explain what you could.

“I just figure, maybe we'd both have a better chance of surviving if… we did it together” you said, your hands wringing together and betraying how nervous you felt in asking.

There was something in her eyes, something alive that you remember from your days as younglings. You remember thinking then that her eyes looked like reflections of the galaxy, deep blue and twinkling, like a black hole in the way they drew you in. She smiled and looked down, chewing on her bottom lip for a moment before she lifted her eyes again.

“Alright” she said quietly, “but you're not keeping me on this planet”

The disgust in her voice made you laugh, “wouldn't dream of it”

Conversation with Ahsoka wasn't hard. It was comfortable, easy, natural, though it was obvious that you were both avoiding certain topics. She sat atop the counter of your ship, her hands gripping the edge as she talked, the blue swirling of hyperspace reflecting in her eyes. It was hard to fully concentrate.

“Anyway, after that… yeah, I’ve been on my own ever since” she shrugged, her lips lifting slightly. You nodded, having to look away from her intense gaze, and she let the words hang in the air for a moment before speaking up again, “do you… remember the golden tree in the temple gardens?”

Your head shot up, “of course”

She nodded, looking towards her lap, “before you found me, I— I had a dream. A memory of when we were there, when I showed you the hiding spot for the first time”

Your heart skipped a beat, your eyebrows raising and trying to contain your glee. It seemed that perhaps you were right, the force had been trying to tell you something, that it wasn’t just chance that you had been brought back together after all these years.

“So did I” you exhaled, trying not to grin completely.

“You did?” she sounded completely caught off-guard.

“Yeah” you smiled, “that’s why I sought you out”

Ahsoka didn’t say anything, she just flicked her inscrutable gaze between your two eyes, as if deciding whether to speak up.

“I—” she dropped her gaze down, her expression unreadable, “I still have this”

Her fingers dug into the collar of her tunic, and pulled out a gold chain. You stepped closer, and when you realised what it was, your chest tightened. You reached out your hand, taking the pendant between your fingers, and feeling the jagged edged of the star symbol, the nova.

Suddenly you were struck by how much this friendship really meant to you, how much you still cherished it, and how painful it was when Ahsoka left you. You struggled with the force from that point on. It had felt like a part of you had been ripped away, and you had to learn to stand on your own two feet, to understand yourself as an individual entity. It hadn’t made any sense then, and it still didn’t now.

Ahsoka’s eyes were glassy, wide and staring into yours with a fierce intensity. She took your hands in hers, shifting closer to you on her knees in your secret spot beneath the golden tree.

“I'll see you again soon, I promise” she spoke sincerely, but it sounded like a lie.

Your gaze lowered to your joined hands, and a dull ache appeared in your chest, as if someone had grabbed your heart and was squeezing it harder and harder.

“I got something for you” you said softly, collecting yourself before you let your emotions bubble up too far.

You took one hand from hers and produced a chain from your robes. You held it up so that the pendant was eye level, and Ahsoka gasped softly as she looked upon it.

“Nova, it's so pretty” she said, her eyes full of wonder as she took it from you.

“It's…” you ducked your head, a little shy to explain, “it's supposed to represent a nova, the brightening of a star, so that…”

“So that we can stay together, you'll always be with me” she finished your thought, and you gave her a shy smile and a nod.

Her arms wrapped around you neck, drawing you close, squeezing you tightly and gripping your robes as she buried her face into your chest. You followed suit, hugging her into your body and tucking your chin between her montrals.

“Thank you” she whispered, barely audibly, “I love it”

You kept quiet, just hugging her tightly as if it would stop her from leaving. Your heart was full at the feeling of closeness, but you could already feel it emptying knowing what was coming. Ahsoka pulled back, a forlorn expression weighing down her features.

“I have to go now” she sighed, her eyes falling to her lap as she sat back on her heels.

“Good luck with… everything” you spoke, though your throat felt tight.

Her eyes found yours once more, sparkling at you and swimming with something that looked like regret. “Nova, I—” she stopped, her words caught in her throat, “stay safe”

“You too, Soka”

You were drawn from your memories at the feel of Ahsoka's hand covering yours, and the sound of your name on her lips. Your eyes snapped to hers, and she gave you a kind smile, something heavy with meaning that wouldn't yet reveal itself.

“I’m glad that the force brought us back together” she said softly.

You returned her expression, your mouth curling into a gentle smile as you dropped your hand from the necklace, “me too”