#i know the epilogue is not to be trusted for hard facts but i'm at least holding hope that henry being mentioned in the codex | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

sincerely-sofie · 10 months ago

Note

Hello!

I just finished reading the epilogue of TPIAG, and I would usually do something like this anonymously because the vulnerability does scare me. But for how much The Present is a Gift means to me, I just wanted to be fully myself while writing this.

Before anything else, thank you. From the bottom of my heart and with the entirety of my being, thank you. I can't even say TPIAG changed my life because that would be a massive understatement for how much impact it all had on me. I don't know how else to describe it, but this story you've created, the characters within it, everything - it's like they all walked and journeyed with me throughout everything I've been through in the last few months. For the first time in my life, I was dealing with grief - and it was a grief so strong that it would physically hurt. It was so many emotions and thoughts going on at once, and I felt so lost and overwhelmed. Yet with TPIAG, I felt so seen. It was genuinely a huge reason in why I've been learning to fully accept that grief with open arms and I cannot thank you enough for that.

Reading through TPIAG, unraveling the story chapter per chapter, and even seeing your posts about it are all experiences I cherish so much. I can recall so many times with TPIAG where I'd have the biggest most genuine smile on my face, and times where I'd feel like I could do nothing else but cry tears that were just so painful in every way, and everything in between. AGHHH i really don't know how else to describe it, but the fact that your writing was able to bring out these raw emotions in me...all I can say is that your writing just feels so...real, so genuine. And that genuine nature of it all didn't just help me connect with the story and the characters, but with myself. I'm genuinely in a much better place now than I was when I started reading TPIAG and it truly played such a huge role in that. And slight tangent, but the feeling really sank in when I took a walk the other day for no reason other than because i wanted to walk. Just appreciating what was there right then in the moment, being able to accept the past and trust the future - I cannot begin to describe how alive I felt, and just how....myself I felt. You really do have a point. The present really, genuinely, truly, is a gift.

Lastly, I just wanted to say that I've always struggled to put my gratitude into words, even now. It's a really scary thing for me for reasons I still find difficult to explain. But not at least trying wouldn't feel right, especially for something like this. The love, care, thought, and the genuine YOU that you put into what you do is evident with how genuine everything is. I know I've used the word "genuine" a lot but it really is the best way to describe everything, and I don't take its meaning and use lightly! I'm genuinely grateful I came across TPIAG that one day a few months ago. I'm genuinely grateful to have witnessed this story unfold. I'm genuinely grateful that you create and nurture these wonderful stories - not just for me, or the rest of your followers (who, from what I've seen, really care about you!), but for how you create them for you. Even though I don't personally know you, from what you've shared on your blog, i can see it hasn't been an easy life for you. But the fact that you put so much heart and soul into your work because you love it and that it helps you heal, and the fact that Twig's story of recovery mirrors your own - again I know it's strange coming from a stranger but I really am so happy for you! AGHHH again it's so hard to put into words but I really am just so grateful in so many ways! Just know that I am writing this in actual tears and with the biggest smile on my face and heart because that really is how I best show gratitude!

All in all, I truly wish you kindness, healing, and all the best with all that you do, whether that be writing, drawing, or whatever else your heart desires. Just remember that what matters most is doing the things you love because you genuinely love to do them - for you! And of course, wishing Twig and the gang all the best as well!

And in case I still haven't said it enough,

Thank you. Thank you so much.

Your willingness to be vulnerable has not gone unnoticed, and it's very touching that you were willing to share your thoughts like this!

I'm so glad that this fic could have such an impact and provide such a resource for you amidst your grief. It means so much that it was able to help get you in a better place.

The way you emphasized genuineness is deeply significant to me. TPiaG is the first time I've ever put something so personal out into the world. I've posted a few projects in the past— but even if they touched on my personal experiences, they were quick to gloss over them. This is the first time I've ever posted a project that doesn't flinch away from the things I've felt in my life, and I was terrified of people seeing it as being "cringe". It's such a dumb word, and an even dumber worldview, but I've been haunted by the idea of me or my art being embarrassing or unpleasant for others. I was so scared of how people would perceive TPiaG— especially the bits and pieces of myself that I inserted into all the individual characters. But to hear that my writing feels genuine puts that fear at ease. There's nothing more beautiful than authenticity to me, so to hear that I've achieved that means so much.

I'm so honored by your happiness— life hasn't been easy, but I've been able to take the pain and make it into art to help myself and others. It doesn't make the hurting stop, but it gives it some meaning that helps it be easier to shoulder. To hear that you're happy for me is, again, really impactful!

You said you have a hard time wording gratitude, but I wanted to let you know this is a very eloquent message you've written and I'll treasure it always. Thank you :>

#sofie answers asks #the present is a gift au

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steddieas-shegoes · 1 year ago

Text

the only time i feel human is when i'm in bed with you

epilogue also on AO3

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3

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The blindfold was somewhat unnecessary; Eddie wouldn’t open his eyes until Steve told him to. He was a brat, but he was good when he knew what the reward would be.

But when he felt the ghost of Steve��s tail running up and down his thigh, his eyes shot open and he was slightly grateful for the dark cloth covering them.

The room was cold, but the bed was warm, and Steve’s tail trailed a line of heat where it touched his skin, leaving goosebumps in its wake.

The bedroom window was open at Eddie’s insistence, a true test of their privacy in their new home.

He never pictured himself living in the solitude of a mountain, but not having any neighbors for nearly three miles had its advantages.

This being possibly the biggest one.

His hands were tied to the headboard behind him, Steve wanting to christen the new bed without Eddie’s hands interrupting the process.

Steve insisted on using something soft, said he would be keeping him like this for a while and didn’t want him to actually hurt.

It was sweet until it wasn’t.

He couldn’t see, he couldn’t move, and with the way Steve’s tail kept trailing closer to his asshole, he could barely breathe.

The anticipation was enough to keep him hard despite the breeze coming in the window and nerves about how much Steve said he had planned for him. He trusted Steve, had no reason not to, but it didn’t change the fact that he’d said he was trying new things tonight.

Steve’s fingers started running up and down Eddie’s legs, sending shockwaves through his entire body, leaving him whining and whimpering.

“Doing so good staying still, baby. I know you wanna move, don’t you?” Steve asked him, much closer to his ear than Eddie expected him to be.

Eddie nodded, silently pleading with Steve to let him do anything to relieve some of the pressure he felt in his gut.

His only two rules right now were to stay still and not come.

And he was pretty damn close to coming without even getting properly touched.

Though that was pretty normal for them; Steve had spent the last few weeks proving that he could make Eddie come just by using the right tone of voice and playing with his hair.

“And you think being good means you’ll get to come sooner, huh?” he teased.

“Please,” Eddie begged.

He was no longer ashamed to beg for things with Steve, no longer worried about his still newfound status as the “subbiest sub to ever sub” according to Robin.

“Not yet, baby boy. I still have so much to do to you.”

Eddie barely resisted a shiver at his words, his brain running a mile a minute conjuring up what else Steve could possibly have planned for him, for them.

Steve’s hand slapped his cheek, making Eddie jump more from the unexpectedness of it than the pain. It wasn’t even a hard slap, more of a reminder that Steve could do whatever he wanted whenever he wanted.

“I know you like when I slap you around, but I like being able to see your eyes when I do it. You’re gonna have to be patient for more,” Steve’s voice wasn’t completely unaffected this time, and Eddie couldn’t help smirking a bit.

As much control as Steve possessed, he wasn’t immune to the way Eddie looked while completely at his mercy.

“Wanna see you, sir, please,” Eddie arched his back, played into what he knew would get Steve to move faster, stop torturing him so much.

“Oh, you do? It’s barely even been a few minutes, baby.”

That may be true, but the minutes felt like hours, and Eddie wanted to be good.

“Miss you,” he pouted.

He heard Steve sigh, but to his surprise, he felt hands untying his blindfold.

The room was dark enough to not send him into shock, only a lamp in the corner of the room on, moonlight coming in from the window giving them a faint white glow.

Eddie tried to pull his hands away, but Steve shook his head.

“No, you wanted to see me so bad, you can watch. You’re not gonna touch though. Not until I’ve had my fun,” Steve pulled away from him, dropping the blindfold to the floor by their bed.

Steve reached for the lube beside him and Eddie clenched his legs together, not prepared for whatever Steve had in store.

“Now, now. Relax. This isn’t for you.”

Which confused the hell out of Eddie.

If not for him, then…

Steve settled himself back against a few of the pillows he’d moved earlier to keep Eddie mostly flat in bed, his shiny fingers rubbing against his own hole.

He let out a moan as one finger dipped inside, then two, barely prepping himself, just making sure whatever he was doing wouldn’t hurt.

Eddie watched with wide eyes as Steve barely stretched himself at all before adding a third finger.

“What- what are you doing?” he finally asked.

“Taking the edge off.”

He said it so simply, like it was completely obvious. As if he had ever once had fingers in his ass in front of Eddie, as if he’d ever even shown interest in bottoming.

“Wh-“ he was cut off by the image of Steve pulling his fingers out, only to replace them with his own tail.

He let out a loud groan as he pushed it further inside himself, eyes rolling back as he undoubtedly found his own prostate.

“Fuck, I should do this more often,” a moan stopped him from continuing as he dragged his tail in and out slowly, fucking himself while Eddie watched in awe.

“I-“

“I know, baby. You can just shut up and watch. I know it’s hard for you to think when you’re like this,” Steve’s red eyes zoned in on Eddie’s slack-jawed face.

Steve moved his tail faster, pumping it in and out of himself at a furious pace, keeping a surprisingly good rhythm for the sounds of pleasure leaking from his mouth.

Eddie had never heard him like this. Was he exaggerating to tease Eddie?

“Mhm,” Steve responded to his thoughts.

Eddie’s hips involuntarily shifted upwards, a small whimper leaving his lips as he thought about how it would feel for Steve to ride him like this.

“You want your cock inside me? You think you’ve earned that?” Steve asked, slowing down his pace, catching his breath.

“Just for a minute, please sir?” Eddie brought out the pout again since it worked so well last time, but Steve just laughed.

“How about I fuck your mouth? And maybe, if you behave yourself, I’ll fuck you with my tail, too.”

Yeah, how could Eddie turn that down?

Despite Steve often slipping into a mean dom role, and sometimes being a lot more rough than Eddie expected, he was quite gentle with his face fucking. Reverent, almost.

Eddie had stretched himself in the shower a bit, but that was more than two hours ago, and he’d barely had two fingers in him before Steve was knocking on the door telling him to hurry up.

He didn’t think Steve would be opening him up any before using his tail, and a small shiver of want shook his body.

He shouldn’t want to feel the slight pain of being stretched too much too quick, but he did.

“Gonna give you everything you want, baby,” Steve said as closed in. “Gonna untie one hand so you can tap me if you need to breathe, but you’re not allowed to touch unless you have to. Understand?”

Eddie nodded, letting his mouth fall open to show Steve he was ready.

He was sure it made him look desperate, but he didn’t care. He was desperate.

He needed to feel Steve inside him, filling him everywhere, surrounding him.

Steve’s claws just barely grazed along his wrist, reaching around to untie his hand from their binds.

He patted his cheek softly, silently reminding him one more time to be good.

And then his cock was sliding into Eddie’s mouth, both of them moaning with the same type of relief.

Eddie felt his cock jump as Steve rocked his hips back and forth slowly at first, not wanting to overwhelm him.

“So hungry for it, aren’t you? Practically devouring it like it’s your first meal in days. Acting like I don’t feed it to you all the time. Such a slut, baby,” Steve teased, smirk audible.

Eddie just moaned in response, all he could do with Steve filling his mouth.

“You want me to fill up your other hole too?” Steve asked breathlessly.

Eddie tapped him on the thigh once as a yes, and he only had to wait a few seconds before he felt Steve’s tail nudging at his entrance.

He felt Steve’s hand tug at his hair, pulling his head back and pushing it forward again until his cock was hitting the back of Eddie’s throat.

“That’s it. Now relax for me, sweet boy.”

Eddie tried, he really did. He let a shaky breath out through his nose, let his eyes drift closed and his legs fall open farther.

But it wasn’t quite enough.

Steve slapped his cheek. Hard.

He let out a muffled scream, his throat contracting around the cock in his mouth. He felt tears gathering in his eyes at the sharp sting.

But once the initial ache dulled, he felt his entire body relax against the sheets, and Steve’s pushed his tail past his entrance.

“So tight, baby boy.”

“Mhmmm,” Eddie moaned as Steve thrust his hips a bit faster.

Steve slapped his other cheek, smiling down at him, sharp teeth on display.

“So full of me, baby. Can’t wait to come down your throat.”

Eddie tried not to whine, tried not to be disappointed at not having Steve’s cock in his ass, not having his come dripping from his hole. He tried not to be upset that he wouldn’t feel quite so claimed tonight.

He shouldn’t be greedy.

Anything Steve gave him was good.

“Oh, sweetheart. You think I’m not gonna give it to you everywhere tonight? I’ve been waiting for this for days,” Steve groaned as his tail curved upwards inside Eddie, rubbing directly against his prostate.

Eddie let the tears fall from his eyes, overwhelmed with the need to come, but unable to until Steve gave permission.

“That mouth of yours has me close already. So hot and wet, you’re a dream,” Steve sighed.

Eddie felt his vision going hazy, felt his brain cloud over with the praise, with the attention. He couldn’t quite understand how Steve managed to make him feel so good while feeling so used.

He didn’t know how Steve made him feel so loved without ever saying the words.

Eddie knew he loved Steve, knew that it was beyond anything the bond had created, and was just waiting for the right moment to say it.

Steve had uprooted his entire life to make sure Eddie was safe, had made sure his uncle was safe even though he wasn’t a big fan of him because he knew how much he meant to Eddie. He’d let Eddie pick the perfect home for them, let him make the big decisions.

Eddie wasn’t worried about Steve loving him or not. He knew from his actions that he did.

“That brain seems pretty loud, baby,” Steve was watching him, an eyebrow raised.

Shit.

Steve shook his head once, slowing his hips for a moment as he cupped Eddie’s cheek in his hand.

“I already know, sweetheart. I know how you feel,” he brushed his thumb along his cheek to wipe a stray tear away before he picked up his pace again.

It only took a few more thrusts before Steve was coming down his throat, whispering his name before letting out a long groan as Eddie nearly choked on the sudden rush of fluid filling his mouth.

He could feel some dripping out as Steve started to pull away, letting Eddie swallow and breathe.

Steve’s finger wiped the corner of his mouth, pushing the spit and come back into his mouth.

“Look so good like this,” Steve whispered.

“Hm?” Eddie couldn’t find the words he needed, but Steve knew what he meant.

“Like you’re mine.” Steve leaned down to kiss his jaw, then his neck.

Steve’s sharp teeth dug into Eddie’s skin, blood pooling around them as Eddie gasped.

He’d had a near permanent bite mark on his neck since they ran from Hawkins, proof that Eddie belonged to someone, belonged to Steve.

Just when it started to fade, Steve would sink his teeth in again, make it brighter, bigger, let the blood flow so he could lick it all up, spit it back into Eddie’s mouth.

It was routine at this point.

Eddie felt owned, possessed.

He felt his cock throbbing as Steve licked up the blood dripping from his neck.

“Are you a vampire or a demon?” Eddie asked, voice raspy from his throat being used.

“Vampires are the bane of my existence,” Steve groaned.

“What?” Eddie hadn’t expected an actual answer from him.

“Not now. You wanna come tonight right?”

Eddie nodded, his focus back on the feeling of Steve’s tail in his ass.

“Well, I guess I better get hard again, huh?”

Steve’s refractory period was ridiculous, usually no more than a few minutes, even if he’d had multiple orgasms already. He liked to use that to his advantage, often pushing Eddie past his own limits.

Steve continued to tease him with his tail, pushing in and pulling back out slowly, barely brushing against his prostate.

Enough to feel good, not enough to come.

It would be maddening if there wasn’t a light at the end of the tunnel for him.

The absence of Steve’s tail was short lived, his cock immediately pushing against Eddie’s hole.

“Gonna fuck you so much tonight, you won’t even be able to walk tomorrow,” Steve growled in his ear.

It was a threat and a promise rolled into one, and Eddie couldn’t do anything but let his eyes roll back as he tugged at his remaining restraint.

“Uh uh. You’re lucky I’m letting you keep that hand loose. No moving.”

Eddie knew it would be worth it, knew being good would have its rewards. It already had; The taste of Steve still on his tongue.

Steve’s cock pushed past his entrance, a dull ache reverberating through his muscles as he did his best to stay still and relaxed. His tail was thick, but not nearly as thick as his cock, and the extra width was almost too much for Eddie in his current state.

“Good boy,” Steve praised. “Relax, baby. You know I belong here.”

“Mhm.” Eddie nodded as he let out a breath.

“Who do you belong to?” Steve asked him, giving him just enough of a distraction to fully seat himself against Eddie’s ass.

“You.”

“And who do I belong to?” he continued, his face softer for a moment.

Eddie stared at him, fresh tears in his eyes.

“Me.”

“You’re mine and I’m yours,” Steve nodded before he pulled out and shoved his cock back in harder, rougher.

“Yours, always yours,” Eddie panted out as Steve kept his hips moving, sharp thrusts shoving Eddie further up the bed.

Steve leaned down, pressing his lips to Eddie’s in a hungry kiss, more teeth than tongue or lips.

“Close,” Eddie breathed into his mouth, feeling the rush of heat in his abdomen, the pull of his balls that told him he didn’t have much longer.

“You’re close?” Steve asked. “I didn’t say you could, though, did I?”

Eddie whined, high-pitched and needy.

“Need to. Please.”

“Please what?”

“Please sir!”

Steve’s thrusts stopped for a moment, just long enough for him to get his tail wrapped around Eddie’s dick.

“Want you to come on my tail and then lick it clean, baby. Think you can do that?”

Eddie nodded, didn’t care what he had to do as long as he got to come.

“When you feel me come inside you, filling you up, you can come.”

Eddie was past the point of being able to acknowledge anything he said, too focused on not letting himself come before Steve.

As much as he loved the idea of being punished, he knew it wouldn’t be any type of punishment he actually enjoyed.

Steve’s cock was leaking enough to be felt dripping out of Eddie’s hole, down his ass, and onto the sheets below.

“Look at me.” Steve demanded. His voice was low, stern.

Eddie looked at him, eyes hooded and bitten-red lips parted.

“Tell me. Say what you were thinking earlier.”

Eddie couldn’t be blamed for his confusion at first, his brain was mush, his body was jelly, and Steve was looking at him with high expectations.

Steve slowed his hips, rested his entire front to Eddie’s, cupping his jaw in his hand.

“Now’s the right time. I promise, baby.”

After another moment, Eddie understood.

“I love you,” he said with a gasp, his back arching at the contact on nearly every inch of his skin, Steve’s heat making sweat bead along his neck and forehead.

“I will love you until the day I’m taken from this earth,” Steve mumbled against his lips, his eyes closing as he pulled Eddie’s bottom lip between his teeth.

Steve’s warm release filled Eddie quickly, like he couldn’t wait another second to make sure Eddie completely belonged to him.

“Ask for it, baby boy. Be good for me,�� Steve asked him breathlessly.

“Please let me come, please,” Eddie was barely holding back.

“You’re so good for me. You can, sweetheart.”

Steve had barely even finished giving his permission when Eddie’s release shot between their stomachs, his whole body shaking through it after so long holding back.

It felt like the longest orgasm of his life, seconds went by of him whimpering and crying, repeating Steve’s name over and over, feeling like he was floating above his body.

As he slowly came back to himself, he felt Steve kissing along his side, his tail rubbing their mess along his skin.

“Mm.”

Steve smiled up at him, but didn’t say anything, just kept trailing kisses down his hip and thigh, nipping at a bruise on his inner thigh.

He pushed Eddie’s legs back gently, licking his lips as he looked at the mess dripping from his hole.

His tongue was slow, careful, licking up every drop of come around his hole, on his ass cheeks, inside him.

He was sensitive, almost painfully so, but he didn’t want him to stop.

He never wanted him to stop.

“Fingers?” Eddie asked, barely audible as he pouted down at Steve.

“Really? Not too sore?” Steve asked, the vibrations of his voice making Eddie shiver.

“Feels good.”

Steve slipped two fingers into him, which was nothing after his cock, but enough to keep Eddie content as he continued licking up his own mess.

Eddie closed his eyes, appreciating the feeling of being here, in a home they owned, with his boyfriend who he loved, making it theirs.

He barely registered Steve’s tail joining the two fingers inside him, too tired to tense up the way he maybe would have earlier.

His tail and two fingers together were just barely bigger than his cock, but Eddie was loose, pliant, able to take it without flinching away.

He moaned, long and low, when he felt the tail curl upwards, almost asking permission before touching his prostate.

Eddie nodded before moving his hands down, and oh, he’d been really out of it. Steve had untied his other hand at some point in the last few minutes.

He let one hand grip the sheets, one run through Steve’s hair.

“Please,” he said softly, not begging, just asking.

Steve’s tail curled the rest of the way towards his prostate, milking it for a full minute as Eddie squirmed and sighed out little moans and pants.

“Gonna give me more to clean up, sweetheart?” Steve asked, voice softer than it had been this whole night.

“Mhm,” Eddie nodded, eyes squeezing shut as his back arched and he came again.

His body shook through it, continued shivering for minutes after, even as Steve removed his tail and fingers and pulled him against his chest.

“Did so good for me. Can’t believe I’m this lucky,” Steve murmured against his hair, leaving little kisses to the top of his head between words.

Eddie drifted to sleep like that, the cool breeze cooling him down and keeping him on earth as Steve ran his fingertips up and down his back.

—————————————————————

“What time is Wayne getting here?” Eddie asked, only slightly panicked.

Steve had insisted on spending the morning in bed, said there was no reason to rush through cooking and baking, cleaning or preparing.

And the morning had turned into the early afternoon, and Eddie realized much too late that he hadn’t done anything to be ready for Wayne’s visit for the weekend.

“You wrote down six,” Steve said, unhelpfully snacking on some sliced peppers as Eddie tried to make a homemade sauce for lasagna.

“Did you put sheets on the bed in the guest room?” Eddie asked.

Steve sighed and turned Eddie around to face him, grip on his hips strong and demanding.

“Baby, it’s just Wayne. Why so stressed?”

And wasn’t that the million dollar question? He knew Wayne wouldn’t care that much about waiting an extra few minutes for dinner to be done, or if the kitchen floor hadn��t been swept in a couple days. He knew that ultimately, Wayne would just be happy to see him, put eyes on him for the first time in two months.

It didn’t change the fact that he wanted everything to be perfect, wanted to prove to Wayne that he was happy and cared for, loved.

“I just want him to be proud of me. Of us,” Eddie admitted.

Steve had a way of getting him to be honest without even trying.

Maybe it was part of his powers.

“You know I don’t use those on you on purpose,” Steve smirked. “But he will be proud of you. You’ve turned this house into a beautiful home for us, you’ve got all his favorite stuff, you’re happy. He’ll be happy that you’re happy.”

Eddie knew he was right, but that didn’t change any of his feelings.

“Alright, I can feel the incoming panic. I’ll go double check everything in the guest room and bathroom. You finish supper. We’re a good team, right?” Steve asked.

Eddie nodded.

“Exactly.” Steve kissed his forehead before turning him back to the pot on the stove. “I love you more every moment.”

“You’re not fucking me in front of the food that Wayne has to eat,” Eddie warned.

“You’re no fun,” Steve pouted back.

“You fucked me in the shower this morning. Twice!”

“I’m just a big fan of your ass!” Steve argued.

“I’m a big fan of not seeing anyone’s ass while I’m here.”

Steve and Eddie turned around to see Wayne standing in the doorway, arms crossed and brows raised.

“Wayne! How did you get in?” Eddie asked.

“Y’all left it unlocked. I knocked, but no one came. Figured it was okay to come in,” he said as he moved further into the kitchen.

“Oh.” Eddie took a second to take his uncle in before he ran into his arms. “Missed you, Wayne.”

Wayne hugged him tightly, closing his eyes to keep from crying.

“Missed you too, bud. You cookin’ for me?” Wayne sniffed, taking in the scents of the kitchen.

Then his eyes settled on Steve, who was standing by the counter awkwardly, hands in his pockets.

“Steve.”

“Mr. Munson.”

Eddie looked between them for a minute, letting out a loud laugh.

“I’m not doing this all weekend. You can both go sit in the living room and talk like civilized people until dinner is ready. I love you both, so you have to at least tolerate each other,” Eddie said turning back to the dinner he was cooking.

Wayne glared at Steve.

“Love, is it?” he asked.

“Is that a problem?” Steve asked.

Eddie nudged his shoulder and mouthed ‘be nice.’

Truthfully, he could feel how on edge Steve was the moment Wayne announced his presence. He’d been fine all day when it felt like his visit was far away, but now that he was here, his body was tense and his anxiety was through the roof.

“Not a problem as long as you’re takin’ care of him,” Wayne said.

“You know I’d do anything to protect him.”

Take it easy, love.

Steve nodded to let him know he heard his thought.

“And what about make him happy? What about the soft things? What about making sure he eats when he’s sick? Or gets a hug when he’s had a long day? You doin’ that?”

It felt like a test, one that Steve would pass with flying colors because he did do all of that and more.

He took better care of Eddie than Eddie ever took care of himself.

“I do everything he needs, everything he wants. I love him more than anyone has ever loved anyone else,” Steve said, the emotion pouring through his tone.

Wayne stared at him for another minute in silence before sighing.

“You got some coffee? Been a long trip.”

Steve nodded, both of them coming to a silent agreement that they could at least get along now.

Steve made him coffee, and Wayne told Eddie about his trip over, how he had to fly to a different state first to throw off his cousin who was convinced he was harboring Steve somewhere. He explained how he had to rent a car to drive here, how he had to switch out rentals halfway there just to be safe.

“I’ll pay you back for all that,” Steve said apologetically.

“Nah,” Wayne waved his hand. “Second rental was free because I had them convinced there was somehin’ wrong with the first and the lady at the front desk liked my accent.”

“Wayne!” Eddie exclaimed.

“What? She was sweet.”

Steve smirked.

“Flirting with the rental car lady. Wouldn’t have seen that one coming, Wayne. Good for you!” Steve encouraged him with a wink.

“Don’t encourage him!” Eddie yelled at Steve.

“Why not? Doesn’t he deserve to have a little fun? Maybe find a nice lady to settle down with?”

“Sure, but I don’t need to hear the details,” Eddie said as he stirred some ingredients into the pan in front of him. “If you wanna encourage them, take it to the other room. Actually, do that anyway. I’m busy.”

“You hear this? Getting kicked out of my own kitchen!” Steve said to Wayne.

“You signed up for this,” Wayne laughed.

Eddie was glad Steve couldn’t sense his emotions as well as his thoughts. He kept his mind as blank as he could while he sniffled, hiding the sudden tears falling as Wayne and Steve went into the other room.

Steve snuck up behind him a few seconds later, reaching a hand out to wipe away a tear.

“Okay, sweetheart?” he asked.

“Yeah. Just happy he’s here. Happy we get to do this.”

Steve kissed his cheek and walked out of the room.

————————————————————————

“So, how’re the rest of the Munsons?” Eddie finally built up the courage to ask.

Wayne scraped the last bite off his plate, smiling at Eddie.

“Delicious meal, bud.” He sighed before answering Eddie’s question. “Half of them left Hawkins after about a week. They decided it wasn’t worth it, that you’d show back up eventually. The rest of ‘em haven’t stopped. I managed to send them in the wrong direction twice now, but they’re suspicious of me. Think they’ve been listening to my phone calls at home, so I’ve been callin’ you from work or the Henderson house.”

Eddie hated the hoops Wayne was going through because of him and Steve, hated that the rest of his family were so crazy that they couldn’t even talk on his house phone.

Wish we could do something.

Steve cleared his throat and glanced at Eddie before looking over at Wayne.

“There’s a house for sale down the mountain. You probably passed it. Two bedrooms, huge porch, plenty of yard for a garden if you’re into that. A couple places hiring in town if you wanted to head out and take a look tomorrow,” he suggested.

Eddie stared wide-eyed at him, no idea where this was coming from.

“Robin doesn’t wanna live on a mountain, said it isn’t good for her skin or something. And I know Eddie would like having you close by and away from them. I wouldn’t mind having you here either. If you want,” he continued.

Wayne looked at Steve, then Eddie, then Steve again.

“I appreciate it, but I don’t have the kind of money I’d need to move,” he said, smiling sadly at them.

“Well, I know the person selling the house. I think you could work out a pretty good deal,” Steve said, face red.

“I dunno if they’d be willing to work with what I’ve got.”

“If you can offer your services on building us a porch here, supplies and all, the house is yours.”

“Wait. What?” Eddie asked, confused as hell.

“Yeah, gotta agree with Ed on this. What?” Wayne sounded equally as confused.

“I’m the owner. I bought it last week. Was gonna give it to Robin, honestly, but she refused it. And the next logical thing is to give it to you. So?”

Eddie and Wayne blinked at him.

“Uh. Okay, so I’m sensing some confusion.”

Eddie slapped his arm.

“Yeah, a little!”

“I’m just confused why ya want me close to ya when you hated my guts an hour ago,” Wayne said.

“I didn’t hate you. Eddie loves you, and you love Eddie, and we’re making this our home. It doesn’t make sense that you’re stuck there when you can be here.”

“I guess I’ll go take a look tomorrow, then.”

Eddie turned to Wayne, tears in his eyes.

He’d become so emotional since moving here; He blamed the thin air.

“You will?”

Steve’s hand found his under the table and he squeezed.

“Yeah. Wouldn’t mind gettin’ to be here. Views are nice. Havin’ you a few miles up the road sure beats takin’ a plane and two rental cars.”

Eddie jumped up and ran over to Wayne, hugging him hard.

Steve smiled at them both, happy to make Eddie happy.

“I’ll clean up. You guys can go catch up,” Steve offered.

“I love you,” Eddie said as he ran to him, hugging him even tighter. “And I am going to let you fuck me on every surface of this house when he leaves,” he whispered in his ear before walking away.

Steve rarely blushed, but the way Wayne rolled his eyes, he knew he’d heard what Eddie said.

“Love you too, baby.”

#steddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #stranger things #robin buckley #wayne munson #the only time i feel human is when i'm in bed with you #epilogue #ao3fic #demon steve harrington #sub eddie munson

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imnotoverlyobsessive · 2 years ago

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In Your Dreams

Moodboard by the incredible @softhecreator

Info, Author’s Note, etc

AO3 info one two three four five six seven epilogue

All my work is 18+.

Special thanks to @darksideofthecocoamoon for letting me use Tim’s dick in her wonderful demon Tim au as inspo for my own fic. If anyone has not yet read that one, please do so with all haste because it’s fuckin incredible and you are genuinely missing out if you haven’t read it yet. Be sure to reblog, too, so others can enjoy it and she can get the recognition she deserves!

Onto the fic!

Summary

Lea knows that her best friend, Tim, is an Otherworlder. She isn't sure of what kind, but it doesn't really matter all that much in the grand scheme of things, anyway. No matter what manner of fae he is, she's damned and determined to not get involved with him or anyone else.

Except Tim isn't a fae like so many celebrities like him. He's an incubus, she's his mate, and oh yeah— he’ll die without her.

Author’s Note

I know things get rough, but I promise you, it'll have a happy ending. Tim goes through it, but everything will be okay in the end, trust me.

Be forewarned: this contains a great deal of angst relating to potential (and almost) death. No one actually dies, but it will probably make you cry. If you are not in a space for angst, proceed with caution.

Yes, yes, I'm back at it again. The fic is gonna end up being about 25-30k, I think. It is almost completely done. So! Bit about this one. Tim is an incubus, obviously. In this universe, everyone is aware of supernatural creatures. The fact that Tim is one is something of a poorly kept secret; it's obvious, but he doesn't really talk about it, so they don't have any confirmation. No one has any idea what he is; they assume fae, like so many celebrities are. How incubi work in the fic will be explained, of course.

This fic will have elements of fuck or die, mentions (but not descriptions) of domestic violence, and a May-December romance, which means, in this case, Tim is significantly older than Lea! He doesn't know exactly how old he is, and I'll tell people if they wanna know (I have an exact number, of course), but otherwise I'll leave it up to you guys to internet. He himself has a general idea but that’s it. This takes place in 2023, btw, which means Lea was born in 2003 this time around.

About This Universe

Incubi/Succubi

They are immortal and have been around since the beginning of time, basically. No one knows exactly how long. The oldest of them, the first few, are simply too old to remember how old they are, or how they came to be. My guess it’s simply an evolutionary thing; maybe they simply evolved from early homosapiens in a different way than humans did. It’s hard to say, and I haven’t decided on anything in particular. A rarer type of Otherworlder because of their unique reproduction methods.

Fae

They are very alluring. Many (if not most) popular celebrities are fae. No pointed ears; other than their charisma, beauty, and immortality, you can’t really tell who is one and who’s not. They are persuasive, proud, and can be dangerous. Probably the most common type of Otherworlder. Not super relevant to the fic.

Vampires and Werewolves

Pretty standard vampire lore; they don’t tend to be very popular, so most are not celebrities. You can tell who is one very easily. They are bloodthirsty and can be dangerous. Not super relevant to the fic.

Sirens

Mostly live near the ocean. If they’re famous, it’s usually for singing. They do have a mermaid form. Not immortal, just have a longer lifespan. Not super relevant to the fic.

Selkies

The same as sirens, for the most part, except they shift completely into a seal. Not super relevant to the fic.

Mates of Otherworlders

Otherworlders that were born into it have a destined mate. If they were turned (such as vampires or werewolves), they do not always have one, only sometimes. Their mates are always perfect for them, so a guy isn’t gonna get paired with a lesbian, and a gay guy would, of course, get paired with another guy. Aromantic Otherworlders have platonic mates. Asexual Otherworlders have romantic mates but don’t experience sexual attraction to them. Most mates have a symbol for fertility on their bodies; often from the culture that first discovered them. For example, the mates of incubi and succubi have an eight pointed star on their hip, which is a symbol of the Mesopotamian goddess of fertility and sex (and beauty, divine law, war, and political power; she’s similar to Aphrodite), Innana. Incubi and vampires are the only species of Otherworlder that die without their mate, because they both require them in order to feed, once they’ve met them.

Playlist

I'm including a playlist for this one, because there are so many songs I listened to for this fic and some of them literally made me cry, so. I'll let you decide which song is from whose POV, but yeah. Here are the songs in the order of what happens in the fic. And yes, I know this is mostly Halsey and the rest is me showing my age. Shut up, it's fine. Enjoy. Please note that the most important song for the fic as a whole is this one. I highly recommend reading the lyrics even if you don’t listen to the whole thing.

Tag list

@ellamaianderson @shika1200 @blackqueenstarseed1 @gatoenlaciudad @esmaada @mariaelizabeth21-blog1 @softhecreator @timolaurence @timmymyluv @oddlyenoughiamweird @leecrunchybones @s-we-e-t-t-ea @almostg @vampire-reanimator @leespparker @bubblebuttwade @glizzymcguirex @starberry-cake

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lilacerull0 · 10 months ago

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hi. a guy i've been going out is a fan of david bowie and i like his music but that's it i am not a fan. could you mayhaps recommend something to impress him since you're The Bowie Tumblr in my orbit. thamk

OMG HIIII!!!! I'll cook you up a Bowie salad 🥗

You can never go wrong with The Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust, so you should probably start there if you're an album person! It works best as a whole and it is a great introduction to Bowie because it captures his imagination without being too difficult to digest on first listen.

I ALWAYS recommend this track to people who wanna get into Bowie because I feel like it's such a BOWIETASTIC thing in so many ways without being too hard on the ear if you haven't been diving deep into stuff like his album Low which is SPECTACULAR, but not really something you should start with when it comes to ☀️thee spaceman💫. Anyways, I adore this one because it makes me feel like I am in my favourite theatre (I always act this one out in my room when it comes up on a playlist), all thanks to the way David pronounces each word with such dedication which is something I always endlessly appreciate. I'm also a sucker for the fact that critics either think it's a masterpiece or completely absurd because that IS Bowie at his finest. He's a mad scientist! Even when he tried to appeal to a wider audience, it felt like an experiment. I personally think this track is absurd, but in an absurdist theatre Samuel Beckett way and THAT is what makes it a masterpiece.

NOW THIS!!! This is from the movie Labyrinth starring our favourite alienguy, but no Bowie thing functions in a vacuum (Bowie outgrows Bowie like all artists do, but it's pretty damn cool how he seemed pretty chill with this... and found fans' input integral to his work) so you can always turn this up and place the sky and the moon within anybody's eyes and anybody's heart. I'm not telling you to sneak these (paraphrased) lyrics in a gift or anything, but also I'm doing exactly that.

Lou Reed thought this one was neat and in Lou Reed we trust. Seriously, it's a rare occasion for Louie to say such a thing about somebody else.

This is from Diamond Dogs which I truly have so much love for as a concept because it's this... mosaic of half-finished projects Bowie had envisioned over the years and they make... this glorious friendship of sound and ideas and I always think of it as proof that each little creative outburst every human experiences is worth something in the great puzzle of our lives, you know? This track in particular was originally written for the Ziggy Stardust musical which was never made and doesn't exist in a form it was originally imagined in, but it lives on... it changes things... So if you ever make something you think is worth nothing simply because you haven't executed the idea to the finish line, you're wrong.

Ending this response with a cover!!!! Originally a song by The Pretty Things and I'm using it for my epilogue on purpose because there's this criticism of Bowie's copycat ways that gets brought up occasionally when it's the exact feeling behind that accusation of his artistry that makes me like him so much and I hinted at it in the previous paragraphs. So! This is from an album that functions as an ode to songs Bowie loved so they're all covers basically (fun fact! there's a slavic band I love that copied this idea for their album, Les Chansones Populaires, and they have a Bowie track on it <3 music knows no limits, music as the ultimate form of love <3) What I'm trying to say here is that Bowie understood this fundamental truth about humanity which is that it knows no time and no space and both of these things are illusions. So... his covers and all his influences aren't thefts!!!! They're a testament to this shared human creative effort that indicates how the artwork is never ONLY about the one who made it. It's about how the entire world, those that inspire you and those that you inspire, are holding hands and adding a bit of themselves to this creation, therefore putting it into this washing machine of transformation that can never be turned off. And it's so refreshing to see an artist embrace that viewpoint.💖 (I always say this group effort thing is true for science too <3)

#sorry i went off i love this man...#💌restless wind inside a letter box💌

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sasaranurude · 2 years ago

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Aza brothers (jigokuraku) brainworms under the cut. Major spoilers ahoy and also it's long and doesn't make any sense so don't read it <3

sorry in advance for the fact that I'm absolutely not going to be consistent about name romanization. my hands are doing whatever they want as they type. toma. touma. chobe. choubei. don't think about it too hard

the aza bros make me fucking insane like their dynamic. their growth. their epilogue. jesus christ. good lord. its only made more insane to me by the fact that we don't get chobei's side of the dynamic in full until much much farther into the story, so for most of it we only have touma's side. and he's not a very reliable narrator! touma sees his brother as someone who would get along just fine without him. but he defines himself entirely by his relationship with his brother and his ability to follow his brother. and initially it's like, the audience has the same feeling as touma, right? like,

wait I got too in my own head and was thinking more than I was typing and realized that both of their arcs are literally told to us in like their first scene, they spell out how it's going to go, I fucking, good fucking god. touma SAYS "chobei adapts to his environment but his sense of self always shines through and stays the same" and that's exactly what happens. touma talks about him being weak and living to follow his big bro and he DOES that and in their separation it's chasing after chobei that helps touma become stronger. (which is actually something that had already started before the story's events--as soon as chobei was captured and touma became an asaemon to save him, he was already growing.) fucking. im gonna throw up. anyways

right so our impression of choubei is that he's a powerful individualist with a strong sense of self, and touma just exists in his shadow. We don't know what Chobei's basing that sense of self around (or even have a reason to think he's basing it on anything), just that he has it, and Touma admires it. There's a sense that Chobei might abandon Touma at any point (because Touma thinks this), and Touma is primarily driven by his desire to not get abandoned, because his own sense of self is entirely wrapped up in following his brother. He fully defines himself as "Chobei's little brother." It's an extremely unequal relationship, as it's initially portrayed

we don't get to see into Choubei's head until, like, halfway through the series. But it becomes clear that Choubei defines himself through Touma exactly as much as Touma is defining himself through Choubei. The entire reason Choubei is able to change so much while still having that unyielding sense of self is because Chobei's "Self" is "Touma's big brother", and as long as he is Touma's big brother, as long as he can protect Touma, he's willing to do or suffer anything. Their unhealthy codependence goes BOTH WAYS

For me personally, at least, this made me worried when the two were separated and Touma started to take his first steps into being something on his own. Into defining himself as something other than just Choubei's little brother. Or at least, y'know, it looked that way. He was learning more swordplay from Gantetsusai and learning tao manipulation from Gabimaru and Yuzuriha and growing. I was genuinely worried that if Touma stopped defining himself by his relationship to Choubei, that if he grew too much as a person, then Chobei would lose his own sense of self, and it would cause a falling out between them...

But that didn't happen! Because we still hadn't actually gotten the whole story with Chobei! They fuckin, slow burned revealing his character motivation! Because when they reunited, Chobei was ecstatic to see how his little brother had grown. And Touma was equally excited to be trusted more by Chobei thanks to that growth. And instead of pushing them apart, they became closer than ever, and were able to operate as equals, as "one being in two bodies"

And we get the full story of Chobei's motivation when he dies, about how all he ever wanted was for his younger brother to succeed, and he can die happily knowing that he did that

But. Y'know. There's still a part of Touma that clearly loves his brother. Because. Duh. and hence him pushing for Chobei's resurrection. but this is SO INTERESTING AND PERFECT BECAUSE... IT REVERSES THEIR DYNAMIC... Chobei succeeded in helping his little brother to grow into a capable man, and now Touma uses that life to. Bring his brother back to life, raise him, and just MAKE THEM CODEPENDENT AGAIN, I GUESS. HE HAD THE OPTION TO LIVE HEALTHILY AND HE DID NOT CHOOSE IT !!!!!! KING!!!!!!!!!!!!!! They clearly haven't separated in the least and are just using their new more equal-ish dynamic to run a criminal empire TOGETHER. instead of it just being chobei running a criminal empire while touma follows him like a puppy. I guess you could argue that maybe they have a more healthy dynamic now since they're more equal but I don't actually think there's evidence either way for the health level of the whole thing

anyways and now the fact that chobei is apparently immortal but touma doesn't seem to be makes me go bonkers thinking about the angst in store in the future for them. whats gonna happen huh. touma seems to have only aged a little bit in the epilogue, and I imagine he can slow aging somewhat with tao nonsense, but there's no way he's chobei/tensen level immortal, right. so that's a fun thing in store for the future for them, ON TOP OF the whole "running a criminal empire in colonial hong kong" thing they have going on. yuji kaku is evil for throwing this insane awesome spinoff bait at me. I'm going to write a hundred fanfictions about it.

#suchobabbles #meta #<- it's like a real actual essay so I want to tag it to find it again #not a GOOD essay mind you.

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the-things-ive-seen · 4 months ago

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The Swords of Ditto: Mormo's Curse

Play Again? Hell No.

Spoilers, obviously, but The Swords of Ditto is a video game series about you, the player, taking after your predecessor and wield the sword of Ditto, a sharp blade that levels up and unlocks dungeons protecting magical toy weapons. You must use this weapon to seal Mormo, a dark deity, and help Puku, a light deity, in order to protect the island of Ditto and save the world from Corruption! It's a fun series with light-hearted elements and incredible artwork, and I would recommend playing it right away!

...OR I would if I didn't become disillusioned with the series, finish it with intense, exasperated dissatisfaction, and then forgot about it for several years.

I'll admit, the game stuck with me. It's a beautiful game and the main game is as smooth and polished as the cover above. It plays well and you can end your first run-through somewhat satisfied and ready for more. Things quickly go to sh!t on the second run-through.

If you haven't guessed already, this game is a rogue-lite, which is a game where every time you lose, you keep some progress made with levels and fights, but you have to start the entire game map over. It also randomizes the map so it's a different playthrough each time. That's actually one of the game's mottos.

Each adventure becomes its own legend, both distinct from those that came before it and part of a heroic legacy that bind together. -Steam Page

"So the game looks good, plays good, and seems to have some lore. What's the problem? It's not like the game forces you to replay it just to finish it completely." Actually, hypothetical voice in my head, it does. A lot.

It takes 6 successful run-throughs, using the Icon item as a sacrifice, to finish the game. You have beat the exact same game six times. Trust me, that is exhausting, especially when you've already picked up all the lore notes and you've talked to every NPC that seems to be inexplicably immortal. I think this problem comes from the fact that normally in roguelikes, you unlock more areas, items, and enemies as you're forced to start over, Inscryption being a good example of this. Here, you play through the entire game, which is borderline identical to the first time around, and you stab, escort, and fetch quest your way all the way around to the same exact boss, with a slight modifier.

God, the modifiers. If this game didn't do its best to purge my memories, I'd be pulling my hair out. The Sentinel comes to mind first. An indestructible enemy that follows you around the map, following you in and out of dungeons, putting an emphasis on time and movement. Good mechanic. It would've been a cool idea if I didn't have a very clear memory of the entire game map, randomized or not. So it's just a distraction, not a threat. Worse, it's used three times during the completion run-through, so it wears out it's welcome almost immediately.

Okay, I'm starting to drag this out. Let's try to quickly summarize the plot. Spoilers again. Puku and Mormo are actually friends. They found a guy, the player/you, who can control fate. In a convoluted attempt to both contain and test the player, they created an elaborate illusion to see if the player was brave and true of heart. (yes, it was seriously all a dream) And if you read all 52 lore notes, you now have half of the true story, since Ditto isn't real and no there isn't an epilogue.

I don't imagine anyone was particularly impressed with this ending, but at least it can't get worse. No literally. It can't get worse. The game's over. No more lore, no extra secrets, no bonus dungeon. You got a new skin in case you want to play the entire game for the 17th time. It's done.

I know I'm being pretty hard on a game that, apparently, is the successor of an older, somewhat less successful version of this game. But I have to draw the line somewhere. This isn't Shovel Knight Dig, you can't lure people with a beautiful game, and then drag them through repetitive gameplay for hours on end. and if you are going to do that, then it better have a phenomenal ending, not a footnote about how you were kidnapped by two magic bugs because they think you're weird.

Seriously One Bit Beyond, I see you do good work, but I hope this isn't the last bit you worked on.

#one bit beyond #video games #gaming #review #criticism

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chocosvt · 6 months ago

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I'm so massively heartbroken by her the entire thing is a punch to the face I'm sweating. I make it my night read and now I cam't sleep in this sweat. How are you gonna wrap this all up? You have roughly 22k words left in 1 part I did the math. It's not gonna be happy omg I was telling Wonwoo to please kiss her omg why didn't they FUCKING KISS??? DUMP MINGYU OMG I HATE YOU. Her is actually embarrassing me.

I swear choco I need them to kiss passionately and fuck so hard and lovingly to ease this tension the three of us are having. Me, her and Wonwoo. This is a three-way relationship now.

You're gonna play with me I know you don't have to tell me I know this will end in an angst way just why is HER SO BLIND??? Gosh if Wonwoo was in my life: handsome as hell, tall as hell, so in love, etc. I'd have welcomed him naked and on my knees.

Just free her from Mingyu he's using her this is not looking good omg I hope you clarify everything I know you don't write epilogues but choco PLEASE. PLEASE I will need one.

In you I trust.

girlie i think you need to practice some deep breathing!

although YES i can't spoil anything of course i offer you my solace--in fact i need you to take my hand and trust me 😭😭 let's go on a long walk through the woods and get our cortisol down!

you can fit a lot into 22k words! i surely did!!

#i can feel your stress through the screen 😭#n: moonbeam #t: choco's letters

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riddlerosehearts · 8 months ago

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...well. i finished my first playthrough of baldur's gate 3. over the last several days i did the fight against gortash, the final battle against the netherbrain, the ending scenes at the docks, and the epilogue party. in this post i'll just write about everything up until the ending cutscenes start, and then make another post tomorrow because i have many thoughts and i don't want to make this be insanely long. not that it matters since i've basically just been making these posts for myself the entire time, but ANYWAY

love the fact that i was able to cast otto's irresistible dance on gortash during the very first turn and keep him boogeying for a bit before he managed to break out of it. using it on someone like him is just hilarious. this battle was surprisingly really easy, though? like with both otto's irresistible dance and hold person available, gortash barely got to do anything and there were only a couple other enemies who were incredibly easy to defeat. the grenade launchers were more annoying than anything else. kind of underwhelming but considering how difficult some of the other act 3 fights have been, and how close i now am to the end, i'm not complaining!

i'm so sad about karlach oh my god. she hasn't even been a favorite of mine, i mean, i like her a lot, she's always a delight to talk to, but she's not the type of character i get as easily attached to and i haven't used her on my team that much overall. and yet her voice acting was so full of emotion and her dialogue so heartwrenching that she made me wanna cry. gortash is dead and it should feel like this big victory but for her it isn't, because it doesn't change anything about what's happened or what's going to happen to her... elenion tried to joke around and call gortash ugly and karlach said she was too tired to laugh. they told her they think she should keep living as long as she can and she said "you do it, i'm tired". she's tried so hard to seem positive and hide her loneliness but now she's so caught up in her grief and anger that she's just tired of it all. "i want to live" plays in the background of the scene. she ends things by saying "love you" even if you're not romancing her. god i want to hug her so bad :( going to use the hugs mod i have installed to do that after talking to her back at camp.

talking to everyone around the camp, lae'zel is so encouraging in her own way and even astarion says there's no justice in the world because of what's happening to karlach... for some reason, it was this bit of dialogue with jaheira that made me actually tear up a little:

like i guess it's just the fact that jaheira is this legendary hero that karlach looks up to and was so excited to meet, and here she is saying she doesn't know what else she can do to help karlach. it's so unfair what the fuck!!

had to screenshot this dialogue from wyll in the astral plane because i love him:

the emperor is an interesting character, and i can honestly understand why some people, and some tavs, might trust him and want to ally with him. but elenion is very untrusting by nature, and sure, he's grown a lot and learned to put more trust in his allies--but the emperor as the dream guardian just constantly made him feel confused and uncertain and then once he was finally willing to fully trust them, he found out that he was being lied to after all. and then the emperor kept withholding information from him, and trying to convince him that he should become an illithid. so no, he is not allying with the emperor!! although orpheus's attitude is not exactly winning me over lmao, for one thing we did not STEAL the githyanki egg!!

WOAH the baby owlbear grew up?! big armored owlbear?! was not expecting that! also, huh, zevlor is here too... i don't think the gather your allies quest ever mentions him in the quest journal so i didn't realize he'd show back up. maybe it's just me, but i kind of wish there was more resolution to his story. i looked up whether he ever reappears after you rescue him in act 2 and found that he doesn't, and he doesn't even have a voiced line of dialogue at high hall, which really sticks out and seems weird because everyone else does except for him and volo?? the gondians also aren't here even though the quest journal does mention them... i think i got pretty much every not-evil ally, though! except for mol, i guess.

i callled pretty much every ally during the big battles in the courtyard because i wanted to see what they could do! and then i only called a few during the actual final battle because i was afraid that certain characters like zevlor or the owlbear might permadie. but it's so cool being able to call on everyone who you've helped throughout the game, as it really helps these last battles feel more epic and exciting. though it also makes me wonder what the rest of my party who isn't here in high hall is doing... like, okay, so jaheira and halsin were not in my party and they still showed up to give their aid. but what about minsc and boo? what about shadowheart, astarion, and karlach?? are they all just chilling out at camp while the rest of us fight?? it just feels odd that they don't show up here at all.

i accidentally got party wiped while trying to reach the netherbrain because i couldn't figure out where i was actually supposed to be going and messed up... please, if i ever have to be part of a band of heroes rising up to stop a world-ending threat, do not make me the leader. my nonexistent sense of direction will literally doom us all. the second attempt was really easy once i figured out what i was doing LMAO but i did also have to restart the final battle because... i had no idea how the thing with the netherbrain destroying the platforms worked and my party all died at once the first time. it's my first playthrough and i knew nothing about this whole part of the game, so of course there was going to be some trial and error. i had a lot of fun with all of that, though!!

and now we get to the ending cutscenes... which i will be posting about separately later. for now i'll just say i love this game and i can't believe i've hit the end of it. i started playing in march what the fuck.

#star play bg3

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leojurand · 1 year ago

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house of niccolò reread rambling thoughts: spring of the ram edition (part 1)

finally! i'm 45% into this reread and i feel like i have more than enough stuff to talk about.

i've mentioned before that this second book in the series is definitely my least favourite, but there are still many things to discuss and details to analyze because, after all, this is still dunnett

the book begins with an overture narrated by the greek in first person, which is pretty fun and unique. i don't remember any other book in the dunnetverse starting this way.

My name is in fact Nicholai Giorgio de’ Acciajuoli. I have a wooden leg. Niccolò broke it at our first meeting. He is making amends.

the greek functions kinda like the dame de doubtance in lymond, but i actually like the guy (the dame is my enemy, i can't stand her). here he talks about the title of the book, and the mission that awaits nicholas.

honestly, i've forgotten a lot about the greek's role in the story, but it's weird to me that he's talking about nicholas defeating him, because afaik their relationship is never really antagonistic... i'll have to pay more attention to him in later novels.

He may prove to be less exceptional than I think him to be. He may be more than I think him, and defeat me. But no. That is impossible.

also this little prologue reminds me of the epilogue for gemini, narrated by another astrologer.

this is one of my favourite parts of nicholas's characterization, especially early on. it's part of his lack of identity, too. imitating other people is something he does for fun, but also to use whenever he needs to. it's very fascinating, and the fact that it's pointed out that it's he means no harm is very endearing to me.

Sometimes, sitting designing something in his own room, Niccolò would let his mouth and cheeks and jaw fall into the semblance of Julius and Tobie and Captain Astorre or Godscalc and the lawyer Gregorio. Under his breath, he would recall, for his own entertainment, their favourite phrases and attitudes; the alarmed cadences of their voices. He liked them all: he meant no harm by it.

“He will not be dismissed,” Nicholas said, without imitating anybody.

the fact that nicholas using his own voice and cadence is worthy of mention says a lot!

i love this scene and scenes like this because dorothy is so good at writing characters quarreling. it's so fun, entertaining, and even you can learn a lot about the characters by how they behave in this type of situations.

Julius felt himself flushing, but drew in breath, hard, through his nostrils. He said, “I’m going to ruin the company, am I not? So is Nicholas, but we always said we could control him. Or if we couldn’t, we’d leave. I think he’s more in control than I want him to be. I think I’m getting out.”

and i love how complex nicholas's dynamic is with his... crew? his gang? it's hard to find a name for them because they're not truly his, at least not yet. as julius says they're the watcheds, there to control nicholas. they don't trust him, because of his secret plans. they don't really respect him, because he was just an apprentice a few months ago. but they can acknowledge his cunning and intelligence. they're curious about him (tobie and godscalc), or follow his lead for adventure and treasure (julius).

listen. this dynamic makes me crazy. why did dorothy write it like that (deeply homoerotic). why are they constantly noticing each other, and even missing each other. why is tobie always the one who points out julius's lack of interest in women. what goes on. deep literary analysis: they should've fucked nasty.

there's not really much loyalty in here, except from umar (loppe). we don't see much from him or his friendship with nicholas in this book, but it's enough to see that he does care about nicholas. they also seem to share a pretty deep connection, and even know what the other's going to do/say, which i love.

“Julius,” Tobie said. It was his sweetest voice.

not much to say about this quote except that i love this description and dimpled, mischievous nicholas is my favourite.

Nicholas, on the other hand, was dimpled in the private, conspiratorial manner of a hot pool on the verge of explosion.

okay, this is all i have to say for now. actually it isn't, because there's a big part of this book i haven't even mentioned here, and it's catherine's storyline. i definitely have things to say about it, and about how it affects nicholas, but i feel like it needs its own separate post and probably i should finish rereading before i attempt to say anything coherent about it.

so i'll be back with the final part and with the other post once i finish! maybe! who knows!!

#dorothy dunnett #house of niccolo #spring of the ram #hon rr #i always think i only want to mention a couple of things and then bam. long ass post

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hausofmamadas · 1 year ago

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ngl I love how you started this off with like, "this is a crackfic in the sense that I'm just taking elements from both shows and using them how I see fit," as if that's something I'm going to deeply protest to SKSKSKSK as if that's something that we weren't all born to read and obsess over. You too modest skskjdk this is the Barbie dreamhouse of maladjusted blorbitos/as, this is what they were made for plus you know how I love me a crackship, so a crack combo?? even better for me sksk

Also, ngl bc I am admittedly Nmx biased, I was full anticipating this was going to be a Walt venture, so the fact that you went with Trujillo instead, keeping all us girlies on our toes, was a an unexpected but extremely pleasant surprise, I think I can speak for myself and others when I say that bc JESUS H CHRIST WOMAN, THE WAY YOU JUST A;LKSDJFALKSDJF FUCKIGN KNOW THIS MAN. Much like Walt, it became clear within in 4 seconds of reading, that you just know Trujillo, you rotisseried him extensively, he is in the very marrow of your bones, truly bc I was just vigorously nodding my head like a maga-hat-wearing, Obama birth certificate truther watching Tucker Carlson on Fox news at this gem and by gem I mean entire fuckingskfjlskjfd paragraph bc I really couldn't not this time: Javi did come back, but things were different now—he was different now. Trujillo could see it, feel it, but he never said anything about it ... But even though things were different, there was still a strange brand of comfort to be had there. Despite the changes there was still an understanding between the two of them. The rules of engagement were different now that there were new players in the game, but each of them knew what the other had in their back pockets if push came to shove.

NOOOOOSFKJ;ALKWJE BC LITERALLY I HAVE NEVER READ A THING THAT SLAPPED SO GOTDAMN CORRECT IN MY GOTDAMN LIFEEEEEE;ALJSDL;FK like there's something about this section and the entire fic, really, that carries the tone of S3 which is a marked departure from the first two with the absence of Steve and Carrillo and Pablo. In a lot of ways, it does feel very much like a transition to Nmx in the sense that it's almost an epilogue to S1 and 2 more than it is a continuation, at least tonally for me. So to have that so accurately portrayed in the mind of a character that I have given a very minimal amount of thought to tbh sksksk that's held very much at arm's length from us as viewers. Legit felt like Christmas morning just uncovering so much new shit that was authentic to the storytelling of the show itself.

Also can we moment of silence pls for the most accurate and concise characterizations of Feistl and Van Ness that I've ever seen bc I was actually choking on my green tea latte, reading this, te lo juro bien: He nodded towards the two new agents outside the office. "You don't trust them?" Javi scoffed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "I trust them not to sell me out. I don't trust them to be fuckin' subtle."

LET ME TELLLLLYOUSLKDJFLSKJD THE WAY I CACKLED, LITERALLY I WAS THE DJ FROM ESOS SON REEBOK O SON NIKE IN REAL-TIME RAEDING THIS. Not only is it highly true bc I can't think of a less subtle person than Feistl in the show, save maybe Kiki sksks like these boys have no fuckign chill whatsover, but on top of that, it's such a Javi thing to say about them skskj

Okay also RIP to my stomach muscles do they call them abs if you don't have any abs to speak of? asking for a friend with this one too skdjsk bc Trujillo sizing everyone up in the most detached, calculated but not cold? way? had me on the floor: He knew better than to judge books by their covers, of course, but it was hard not to notice the fact that it seemed like Walt was aiming to be as eclectic as possible with the people he brought into this. OUR RAGTAG TEAM, THE ISLAND OF MISFIT TOYS IF THE MISFIT TOYS CHAINSMOKED AND BICKERED WITH EACH OTHER IN A DANK WAREHOUSE IN JALISCO!!!!!!SKKSSKS Walt looked at the four of them before gesturing broadly to the entire assembly of men in front of him. "This is the Smash & Grab Crew."

Yessuuuuhh, can I get a "amen!"

Something that I was abs riveted by was your characterization of Trujillo bc you really struck the right balance of like pragmatic, unsentimental, but without being unfeeling or cold. He's very much a ends justifies the means dude, which he even says as much, But it also came down to weighing ethics against the endgame. Means versus ends. For a moment he felt like he was back home, but it was a brief moment. But without the pathological rage of Carrillo or the internal conflict bordering on hypocrisy of Javi or the workaholism bordering on nihilism of Walt SKSKS but also without coming across like a psychopath??? Cause I don't think Trujillo is, I just think he's very reserved and measured in his approach to things, even the most mundane sorts of conversations. Mans is always sat tf up, paying👏🏽👏🏽close👏🏽attention👏🏽 mans be listenin' and you know how tf I love a listener, I mean must I even speaketh his name, well all know like the entire torture aherm I meannn interrogation of Verdín had me positively glued to the screen page that I printed bc I have the sight of a septuagenarian bc it really did feel like watching the entire thing through Trujillo's eyeholes skskjdfksjdk in a way that made me fall in love with third person limited POV all over again.

Also, I'd like to pick my category now, Alex! I'll take Guess That Character for 1000! Bc I need to know if I'm right in regards to, Javi spoke up too, but was silenced with a pithy comment about being a guest and not having a say in this one. What is Ossie Mejia .... am I right, there's no way it wasn't him sksks

OKAY BUT THEN ALSO FL;SKAJF;LKSJDF;ALKJ AS IF THE FIC COULDN'T SLAP HARDER?????? THE ENDING??????????????????ASD;DFIJAWPOIEHROIEWPOIW[

Trujillo stared at the ground beneath his boots for a moment before finally turning and looking Danilo in the eyes. "You remind me of someone I used to know. That's all." ... "You were calm compared to your friends in there ... That because of the same someone?" Trujillo nodded, unsure of what else to say.

FUCKKKKKOFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF WITH THIS UNREALNESS ITS FINE WHATEVER I FEEL NOTHING

Looking On

A Narcos & Narcos: Mexico Crossover Fic

For @narcosfandomdiscord's "Porque No Los Dos?" Day: create a crossover with the original Narcos and Narcos: Mexico featuring at least one character from each

Warnings: 18+, language, blood/injury, no adherence to canon timelines whatsoever

Word Count: 3.5k

A/N: This is a crackfic in the sense that I am just taking elements from both shows and using them how I see fit. They're toys in my sandbox now etcetc. S3 cast of OG Narcos in s2 of NMX? Why not!!!! Also let the record show that this entire fic happened because of one little exchange that happens at the end. So. You know. There's that. 😂

Narcos/NMX Taglist: @garbinge @winchestershiresauce @sizzlingcloudmentality @panagiasikelia @616wilsons @hauntedforsst @mirabee @buckybarneshairpullingkink @boomclapxox @nessamc @southotheborder @supersanelyromantic @padbrookcottage @mysun-n-stars @raincoffeeandfandoms @justreblogginfics @ashlingnarcos @narcolini @proceduralpassion @artemiseamoon @hausofmamadas @cositapreciosa (If you want to be added to any of my taglists, please let me know!)

He understood why so many people left after Escobar. A lot of people didn’t survive to even have the opportunity. Hell, after Carrillo, once all of it was said and done, Trujillo would’ve been lying if he said that it hadn’t been a fleeting thought through his mind a time or two as well. But underneath it he always knew that he wasn’t going to be walking away. Maybe he should have. Maybe he should’ve taken the win and gotten the hell out. However, he knew himself enough to know that if he did that, part of him would always be wondering what he was even doing any of it for, then. If he left after one big win, or whatever killing Escobar qualified as after all the destruction wrought to get there, what would that say about him? Stopping with no good, clear reason to?

Then he heard that Javi was getting roped back in and that changed the game as well. Carrillo had been his touchstone for so long and he was someone that Trujillo was never going to get back. He knew that. He knew that there was no one that could really fill those shoes. Javi, though, Javi felt like the last remaining piece of that chapter of their lives. Because Steve was gone too, off to somewhere quieter, less gunfire for his wife and daughter—that made sense at least. Javi coming back meant that he wouldn’t feel quite so alone if he stuck around. It never hurt to have someone close by who had a little bit of shared life experience, especially the bloody painful kind they all had in common.

Days ticked by. Javi did come back, but things were different now—he was different now. Trujillo could see it, feel it, but he never said anything about it. There was no point to it. It wasn’t as though Javi was going to spill his thoughts out because Trujillo asked him nicely. But even though things were different, there was still a strange brand of comfort to be had there. Despite the changes there was still an understanding between the two of them. The rules of engagement were different now that there were new players in the game, but each of them knew what the other had in their back pockets if push came to shove.

Which was why Trujillo couldn’t even try to pretend that he wasn’t shocked at Javi’s pitch, the way that the request felt like it was coming seemingly out of left field. “México?” he finally managed to get out.

“It’s not an order,” Javi clarified, knowing that he still didn’t have that kind of pull with the CNP, “but I…” he trailed off for a moment as he tried to figure out what he wanted to say. “We’re going regardless,” he said with a nod towards the glass walls of his office, Feistl and Van Ness bickering on the other side, “and I could use, you know,” he sighed, “someone I can trust.”

The shock still wasn’t gone from Trujillo’s face, but now he was at least smiling as well. He nodded towards the two new agents outside the office. “You don’t trust them?”

Javi scoffed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “I trust them not to sell me out. I don’t trust them to be fuckin’ subtle.”

Trujillo chuckled, nodding in understanding. “Right.” Taking a deep breath, he really thought about the offer that Javi was extending to him. It hit him that regardless of how much he did or didn’t want to do what Javi was asking, it wasn’t really up to him to decide whether or not he could go. “Did you clear it with—”

“They’re good with it if you are,” Javi cut him off, knowing what the rest of the question was going to be.

“That easy?”

Javi’s eyebrows lifted slightly. “As easy as anything is with them.”

Trujillo smirked at that. He could only imagine what that conversation must have been like between Javi and Martinez. It was nothing short of a miracle that Javi got the okay to ask. Trujillo supposed that maybe he shouldn’t waste the opportunity. “I’ll go.”

Relief crashed over Javi in one big tidal wave. His shoulders relaxed as he let out a quiet sigh. “Good.” He nodded towards his office door. “Go home and pack. We’re outta here first thing tomorrow morning.”

Their travels were quiet, uneventful. For the first time in a long time everything was on-schedule and going according to plan. In the back of Javi and Trujillo’s minds, they were both making a point to enjoy it because if history told them anything, it was that once they touched down in Mexico, things weren’t going to be quite as smooth.

“Agent Breslin,” Javi said, holding out his hand as they walked up to the man who was there to greet them as they got off the plane.

The man returned the gesture, giving Javi’s hand a firm shake. “Agent Peña.”

Trujillo stood back half a step as he watched all of the agents introduce themselves to each other. Even though Agent Breslin was wearing dark tinted sunglasses, Trujillo could still tell where he was looking for the most part. It didn’t take long for the two of them to be looking directly at each other.

Javi stepped in to facilitate their introduction. “Walt, this is Officer Trujillo.”

Trujillo stepped in to shake Walt’s hand. Despite his eyes being covered, the slow rise and fall of his head as he looked him over gave away exactly what he was doing as they shook hands. “Officer,” Walt said, his tone somewhere between a statement and a question. Trujillo only raised his eyebrows, to which Walt responded, “Just a long way from home, that’s all.”

Trujillo broke the handshake, arm dropping back to his side as he gave Walt the same obvious once-over he’d just doled out. “From the looks of it, I’m not the only one.”

The comment got Walt to scoff out something akin to a chuckle. He nodded. “Fair.” Turning back to Javi, he gestured towards the var behind him. “Come on, I’ll get you guys all up to speed.”

Trujillo stayed quiet for most of the drive. He listened to everything that Javi and Walt were talking about. Javi had given him the barest bones of a debrief before the took off, but Trujillo knew enough to know that he was going to be doing a lot of learning on the fly. That’s how it always was with them.

He didn’t know what he had been expecting when Javi told him that Walt had put together his won crew. Trujillo knew what their crew looked like in Colombia—it was essentially whoever Carrillo had any kind of trust in. And Steve. But he had no idea what he was going to be in for when they walked into the safehouse.

Whatever Trujillo thought it was going to be, the group of men staring at them as they all walked in were not who he had been expecting. He knew better than to judge books by their covers, of course, but it was hard not to notice the fact that it seemed like Walt was aiming to be as eclectic as possible with the people he brought into this. Trujillo wondered where the four of them were going to fit into it all.

Walt addressed his group of men first, taking the liberty of introducing everyone in one fell swoop. “This is Agent Peña—the guy I was telling you all about.” He pointed to the other two DEA agents. “Those are agents Feistl and Van Ness.” He turned and looked at the last man left. “And this is Officer Trujillo.” Walt looked at the four of them before gesturing broadly to the entire assembly of men in front of him. “This is the Smash & Grab Crew.” He paused. “You guys are just in time. Got some shit going down tonight.”

“Walt,” Kenny spoke up, cautious and annoyed.

Walt waved him off. “They’re here. They’re not goin’ anywhere. Might as well help—we could use the extra hands.”

After a few seconds of tense silence, everyone caved, nodding in agreement. It was too late to try and take it all back to keep secrets now anyway. Once they had all come to that silent agreement, they showed Javi and his men where they could drop their bags. They were all looking around the space as they made their way through it, scoping it out the same way they did every new environment that they got tossed into.

A man materialized beside Trujillo, and he would later learn that his name was Ossie. He had a cigarette between his lips and an amused smirk on his face as he watched Trujillo watch and process everything happening around them. “Bienvenidos, hm?”

Trujillo chuckled, for some reason feeling a little more at home after the comment. “Algo como eso.”

It’d been a long time since Trujillo felt like he was getting left behind and missing out on the action of things. It was a feeling that he hadn’t missed in the slightest. It wasn’t as though he was the only one left behind at the safehouse while the rest of them went out to snatch Verdín, but he still didn’t care for it. Javi was the only one out of the four of them to go, and while he heard Feistl and Van Ness chalk it up to a seniority thing, Trujillo knew it was much more about trust than it was rank.

His annoyance about the delegation of tasks was put temporarily on-hold when everyone came bursting back into the safehouse. At face value, it seemed like a successful operation. They caught the guy, after all. However, even though that was the case, Trujillo could feel the angst and tension among the men as dragged Verdín in. He was curious as to what happened, but he also knew better than to try and ask. If he needed to know, he’d find out eventually one way or another.

The second that Trujillo heard Verdín say, “I know that you left witnesses alive,” he knew what the initial tension had been about when they got back. He couldn’t help the sigh that escaped him, the way that he dropped his head. That was a problem that would rear its ugly head again at some point. Might be hours, days, or weeks, but it would happen—it always did. He knew why people did. He wasn’t heartless, after all. But it also came down to weighing ethics against the endgame. Means versus ends. For a moment he felt like he was back home, but it was a brief moment.

The lengthy, and fruitless, interrogation made him miss Colombia. More specifically, it made him miss Carrillo. Not to say that Carrillo always made quick work of things. There were plenty of times where it was a slow burn. There were plenty of other times when even if the going wasn’t slow, it certainly wasn’t going right. But even then, at least there was something.

He could only sit there and watch Walt try to beat answers out of the guy for so long. He left Javi and the two agents to play spectator with some of Walt’s other men. Trujillo wasn’t even planning on leaving, not like he had any other place to go. He just needed to look at a different wall for a little while.

He was approaching the doorway of the safehouse when he heard a few of Walt’s crew outside talking. From what he caught, he wished that he could’ve heard the conversation from the start. He got there in time to hear Danilo firmly put Ossie in his place with, “You got into this for a paycheck? Man, don’t be fucking stupid. We’re all in this with our lives.”

No one saw him, and even if they did it wasn’t as though they would’ve really cared for his opinion, but Trujillo was still slowly nodding at the statement anyway. He leaned back against the wall behind him, the murmurs of conversation from outside in one ear, the grunts and dulled thuds of punches in the other. He turned Danilo’s statement over in his head again, hoping that maybe it would drown out some of his frustrations, restore some of the faith. Because even though some of Walt’s men looked like they came from the same farm for Americans that Steve Murphy did, Trujillo had to admit that they were dedicated to everything that they were doing. Kind of like Murphy, he thought silently to himself with a quick grin.

More hours ticked by. More punches thrown. If only any of it had resulted in more information from Verdín, but they were still stuck at square one the same way they had been when they brought him back. Trujillo listened to Walt and Javi going back and forth about it, trying to figure out what the best plan of action was now. Like it or not, they were all on a clock—Verdín was right about that and a lot of other things, unfortunately, so they needed to figure their shit out and quickly.

“We gotta go to Plan B,” Kenny said, sounding a little more desperate than he should’ve.

“I don’t have a Plan B,” Walt responded, as exhausted as Kenny was desperate. “All I got’s a fucking Plan A.”

Trujillo listened to them all descend into bickering about the details of it all. They weighed the pros and cons of staying, of moving him now. Ideas got batted back and forth like ping pong balls, just as many flaws as there were upsides, if not more of the former than the latter. Trujillo watched the divide start to form, two camps, essentially. Plan A and Plan B were both taking shape, and no matter what one they went with people were going to be pissed off. What they couldn’t afford, though, was waiting around and letting Plan C unfold, which was Verdín’s people finding them and putting an end to all of this in the worst way possible. It was the first time in a long time that Trujillo saw Javi airing on the side of caution. The agent he knew a small handful of years earlier wouldn’t have been playing it safe like that. Things change.

Apparently Walt hadn’t grown wary in the way that Javi had, not yet anyway. “Danilo, give me your blade.”

The words had hardly left Walt’s mouth and Danilo was happily obliging. It caused some protests from the group. Kenny tried to stop him with nothing to show for it. Javi spoke up too, but was silenced with a pithy comment about being a guest and not having a say in this one. Trujillo had the vague notion that he should be backing Javi, but he also couldn’t help but to think that maybe this would actually do it. So, instead, he followed Walt back into the next room. He didn’t participate in cutting Verdín’s finger off, wasn’t one of the men holding him down. But he did throw his arm out to stop Feistl who was going to try and put himself in the middle of it. He had to align himself with one half of the team eventually—he wanted to be on the half that got some fucking results.

The only problem was that Verdín held strong even through that. Eventually it was just the four of them in the room: Walt, Danilo, Verdín, and Trujillo. For a while it was silent except for the sound of Verdín’s labored breathing. When the sound shifted, and it seemed like he was going to speak up, the three of them tried not to seem too interested, didn’t want to seem too hopeful.

What came out of Verdín’s mouth next, though, wasn’t what any of them wanted to hear. Trujillo still listened, though, unable to stop himself from comparing what Verdín was saying to what all the criminals back home in Colombia had said to him over the years. There were some similarities, but there were a lot of differences, too. He watched the expression on Walt’s face, the way that it hardly shifted no matter what the man tied to the chair said. He watched Danilo’s face, too. Out of all the people Trujillo thought this man would get a reaction out of, Danilo hadn’t quite been at the top of his list, but he was feeding right into it. Maybe it was a tactic, maybe not. Trujillo didn’t know the man well enough to make that call. Walt wasn’t stepping in though, wasn’t trying to cut the conversation short, so Trujillo opted to just follow suit.

When Danilo stepped out of the room, he figured that was the end of it. Verdín must’ve thought the same because he instantly started to say how Danilo was weak. He only got a few words into his next monologue, though, before Danilo strode back into the room, lifted his gun, and fired one shot right into the man’s stomach.

Walt flinched, but his face almost immediately shifted to acceptance after the fact. Trujillo stood back, not moving one way or the other as everyone else came filing into the room. Danilo was already stepping back, hands up in surrender. Amat took the gun from him without a fight. Trujillo studied everyone’s faces, trying to gauge what was going to happen next based off that alone. One thing he did know, though, was that driving him up to the border was officially out of the question.

Trujillo watched as Walt and Danilo sat by each other, both of them calm despite the slight panic and anger coursing through the rest of their team, which now included Javi and his two agents. Neither Walt nor Danilo seemed fazed by that though. Walt, with a tone as even as anything Trujillo had ever heard, outlined when and how Verdín could choose to die, Danilo sitting by him nodding in agreement.

There was a brief moment when Trujillo thought that Verdín was going to die doing what he thought was protecting his country. It wouldn’t be the first time he saw something like that happen, men dying for nothing claiming that it was for everything. But then he caved. With a gasp and a sputter, he finally gave out a name. It wasn’t a name that Trujillo was familiar with, but other men in the room were which was all that mattered. Trujillo looked on as Walt, with hollow but almost convincingly genuine empathy, said that they were going to get Verdín some help.

He also watched on as Walt strode into the next room and made no move to do any such thing.

It was the one argument of the day that Walt had ended up losing. A few of the guys ended up loading Verdín into the car, piling in after him, and taking off towards the nearest hospital. Trujillo didn’t volunteer to be one of those people, leaving that task for one of the other agents who had more sincerity left in them than he did.

When they were gone, Trujillo made his way out into the alley between their safehouse and the next building over. It was dark, but the streetlamps threw just enough light for him to see and make his way over to where Danilo was standing. He had a fresh cigarette in his hand, the look on his face didn’t hold a single shred of remorse.

Danilo watched as Trujillo approached him, not looking to move or get out of whatever conversation that the officer was looking to have. Whatever he had to say, Danilo was sure it wouldn’t be worse than anything else he’d heard before, anything else he’d hear when the rest of his crew got back.

Trujillo kept his mouth shut. He leaned back against the wall beside Danilo, looking at him for a few more seconds before looking down at the ground beneath their feet. Danilo let out a stream of smoke with his next deep exhale. He gave him another beat or two to speak up, but when he remained silent, Danilo broke the ice for him.

“Did you come out here to scold me like your other men?” Danilo finally asked.

Trujillo chuckled and shook his head. “No.”

Danilo waited another moment for Trujillo to explain himself. The man wasn’t making any move to ask for a cigarette or light one of his own, so he didn’t join Danilo looking for a smoke break. “What, then?”

Trujillo stared hard at the ground beneath his boots for a moment before finally turning and looking Danilo in the eyes. “You remind me of someone I used to know. That’s all.”

Danilo let out a laugh. “That explains it, then.” He saw the expectant look on Trujillo’s face and did him the favor of not making him ask to elaborate. “You were calm compared to your friends in there,” he said with a nod of his head towards the safehouse. “That because of the same someone?”

Trujillo nodded, unsure of what else to say. He wasn’t certain he could get the words out even if he did know what to say anyway.

#screamblog #narcoctober #also ngl could not stop making comparisons to my boi Barróncito bc of who I am and my general essence as a human being #bc the parallels were hurting me #like honorable mention for: 'Trujillo didn't volunteer to be one of those people'#'leaving that task for one of the other agents who had more sincerity left in them than he did.'#like the only thing I kept thinking was how similar they are in demeanor #even tho B's a crimie and T's a cop #like the lethality of that combo if they were on the same side PHEW PODRÍAS IMAGINARTE ESA MIERDAPUES ??#I MEANNNNN IM SAYIN #trujillo #javier peña #walt breslin #smash and grab crew #narcos/narcos mexico crossover #narcoctober day 2 #day of porque no los dos?

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