#i know that's not preferable to english audiences but like...idk man

[ranger-kellyn]

Is Championshipping taken in the fandom already?

Omg Championship-

Why is it so hard to make a ship name?! >:(

those are both apparently already taken unu

ChampionShipping - Ash & Lance / Lance & Red (Special) ChampionshipShipping - Ritchie & Assunta

This Link is the main shipping list. the list has over 11k entries so like....yeah this shit is hard. bUT ALSO. their tumblr was last updated 5 years ago, so no clue how up to date any of the submissions are. I just checked, and ClanLeader (Adaman/Irida) isn't on it, so no clue where we're getting ship names now ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[dumbseee]

i’ll protect you.

f1 au/fic: in which y/n is a driver for ferrari, her and lando have been friends since childhood and started together in formula one. their closeness sometimes confused their friends. ask them if they were more than friends, they will laugh and say that they were just friends. but one day during a race, y/n got involved in a major crash. which made lando realise how scared he was to loose her.

lando norris x driver!reader

(fc: maggie lindemann)

warnings: mention of crash, carlos is still a mclaren driver with lando, mention of injuries.

note: english isn’t my first language so this may contains some mistakes xx (idk what to think about this one tbh)

liked by charles_leclerc, landonorris, lewishamilton and 3 799 087 others.

y/n: ready for tonight’s race! your girl is going to get that damn podium, mark my words xx

_

landonorris: in your dreams kiddo

y/n: @.landonorris you’re three months older than me.

lewishamilton: good luck y/n!

liked by y/n.

fan1: WE ALL BELIEVE IN YOU Y/N

fan2: GO Y/N

fan3: with that car i’ll be praying for your safety first bestie

fan4: praying for your first podium!

lilymhe: i’m rooting for you!

alex_albon: @.lilymhe i’m literally right HERE

liked by y/n.

"dude, you should sit down." carlos’s voice echoed in lando’s head which almost made him jump. he didn’t even realise that he was walking around the hospital’s hallways like a maniac. the driver sighed and sat down next to his teammate, carlos squeezed lando’s shoulder to show him that he was there too.

a few drivers were at the hospital, waiting to know if you were okay. daniel, carlos, charles, alex and of course lando were there. to be fair, all the drivers wanted to come but crowding the hospital wasn’t the right thing to do so only your closest friends came while the others went back home but waited for news too.

"are you y/n l/n’s friends ?" finally a doctor came, lando immediately stood up and almost ran to the older man. "she’s out of surgery, she’s very lucky that the firefighters were quick to get her out of the car because she has some burns on her arms and legs but nothing major." the doctor felt kinda uncomfortable to have that many men surrounding him, but he added, "she has a broken arm and a sprained ankle. it could’ve been worse so whoever prayed for her tonight, it worked. she’s awake, so you can see her, but be gentle."

"you should go first." charles told lando, who still looked out of it. "i think she’d prefer to see you first than daniel or alex." he adds with a smile. "uh, first of all this is rude." daniel answer while pointing his finger at charles, which lighten up the mood. "we ALL know i’m her favorite."

lando smiled and thanked his friends before slowly entering your room. he almost choked on his own saliva when he saw you laying on your bed, looking lifeless. this wasn’t you, you were far from being lifeless, you were literally the life of the party. always smiling, cracking jokes, making fun of alex or george will the others would laugh. but there you are, breathing through tubes and covered in bandages. your eyes were closed, lando took a look at your face and swallowed back tears.

he hated it, he hated seeing you being hurt, he couldn’t close his eyes because he’d see the crash again and again. the sound of your car smashing against the barriers, the smell of burnt, gasoline, the sound of the ambulance, the audience’s screams and cries, the commentators struggling to find their words. for a second everyone thought you were dead, everyone including lando. for a second, he thought about a world where you weren’t there anymore, and the only thing he could see was the dark. a world without you meant a world where the sun wouldn’t go up anymore, where happiness was gone forever.

lando let himself fall on the chair behind him and completely broke down. the tears wouldn’t stop from running down his cheeks, he didn’t know that he was capable of crying that much tears. he couldn’t stop sobbing either.

"l-lando?" the driver jumped and immediately stood up when he saw that you were waking up. "y/n? fuck, y/n can you hear me?" he didn’t know if he could touch you, too afraid to hurt you even more. "yes i can so please lower your voice." you furrowed your eyebrows and opened your eyes. the sight before you broke your heart, a sobbing lando, with a worried expression.

"what happened?" you asked, while trying to get up but a sharp pain stopped you. lando gently pushed you back against the bed. "i almost lost you, that’s what happened." he softly pushed a strand of black hair away from your face and sat down, taking your hand in his. "fuck… everything is coming back to me now." you mumbles and bite your lip. you take a look at your body and notice a huge cast on your left leg and a second one on your right arm. you also had a few bruises on your face and left arm caused by the fire.

"how are you feeling?" he asked you, while caressing your hand softly. "could’ve been better, so not only did i not make it to the podium, but i also almost died, what a performance." you laughed and expected lando to laugh with you but he just dropped your hand and looked at you with a hurt expression. "wha-…"

"how can you say it like that? how can you joke about death when you almost lost your life for real? y/n i don’t think you understand how worried sick i was to fucking lose you! i saw everything! the whole crash happened in front of me! i saw the firefighters pull you out of your car, i saw you being literally lit on fire! i couldn’t even move from my car, i felt helpless and useless. i even wondered if the crash happened because of me." he snapped, he wasn’t yelling but his tone was loud enough for you to understand that he was really pissed at your joke.

you felt bad, you didn’t know that lando witnessed everything and now you felt terrible. how traumatic that must’ve been for him. you didn’t know how you would’ve reacted if lando had crashed in from of you. "lando, i didn’t know i’m-…" he cut you off again, he ran a hand though his hair. "let me finish, please." you bite your bottom lip and nodded.

"the thought of loosing you made me fucking sick. i threw up when i got out of the car, i wanted to see you so bad but the way your team stopped me from seeing you made me think it was over. and do you know what a world without you looks like to me? nothing, that shit cannot exist, because a world without you means a world without me. if you fucking die, y/n, best believe that i’m going with you." his words made you cry, silent tears kept streaming down your face. when he saw it, he closed his eyes and kissed your forehead.

"i didn’t want to make you cry, i’m so sorry." he continues to kiss your forehead and then kissed your cheek. "no, i’m sorry for making you so worried about me." you answer while grabbing his hand. he smiles at you and start to kiss every little bruise on your arm. his gentle gesture made you cry even more. "i swear to take care of you now." he adds while connecting his forehead to yours. you both close your eyes and enjoy the peaceful moment until you both heard noises coming from behind the door of your room.

"ouch! you fucking stepped on my foot, càbron!" carlos’s voice could be heard which made you smile. "move your ass leclerc, i can’t hear shit." now it was daniel’s. "all of you shut up they’re going to hear us!" alex added. "aie! carlos what the fuck! that was my foot!" charles almost yelled to his friend. "see how it hurts?" added the spaniard, with a devilish laugh.

lando and you both started laughing at your friends shenanigans, knowing damn well they were behind the door trying to listen to your conversation.

liked by landonorris, danielricciardo, alex_albon and 1 690 097 others.

y/n: thank you for being my guardian angel <3

_

landonorris: always and forever my love

danielricciardo: i can’t believe you have no words for me when i had to sleep with carlos and he pushed me off the bed with his fat ass

carlossainz55: @.danielricciardo LIAR

alex_albon: @.danielricciardo i slept on a CHAIR

charles_leclerc: @.danielricciardo i slept on the GROUND.

fan1: im so glad she’s okay

fan2: OMG LANDO AND Y/N???

maxverstappen1: glad you’re okay y/n! can’t wait to see you on track again!

liked by y/n.

fan3: MY DREAM CAME TRUE

[liljakonvalj]

I watched the Great Mouse Detective tonight and as someone who loves this movie, here's some of my thoughts:

First of all and this cannot be overstated: Best. Sherlock. Holmes. Adaptation.

I was today years old when i discovered that Olivia and her dad are Scottish (which explains her father talking about catching a train at the end of the movie)

(I grew up with the swedish vhs and watched it in english for the first time today. in swedish none of the character's have any particular dialect )

The aesthetic of Victorian human London but with mice having a miniature society mirroring it?? Love that!!

Despite Basil being the titular character and being the main character in so far that he's the one going on a personal journey and change through the movie- Dawson is the POV character for most of the movie which I find interesting

The transitions when Basil tells them about Ratigan and then showing the audience what he's up to and then back to Basil's apartment are stellar

All the songs are sung in universe - I think this is the only disney movie to do this??

And two of them sung by the villain?! Outstanding move

(It should be mentioned that the remaining song was sung by sexy, stripper mice in a bar)

The heroes drink alcohol, get drugged, enjoy a strip tease and accidentaly causes a bar fight all in the same scene

Yes, the toy store was both entrancing and scary to me as a child. The first doll they see when they enter? That doll whose face smashes and nearly kills Basil and Watson? The toys from which Fidget steals the mechanics? All super terrifying

Ratigan is the only character to have a human-like five-fingered hand, all the others have standard animated four-fingered hands

Ratigan mention a that he thought basil would be 15 minutes quicker to find his lair - which he uses to taunt his enemy but it also means he cannot be there to observe his machine killing his captives. That gives them the opportunity to escape unseen. If Basil and Dawson hadn't been late they probably wouldn't have survived, just saying

The clock tower sequence!! I actually clapped when it started

The cogwheels were computer animated while the mice were drawn by hand - which makes for a really dynamic moving camera

(The man who talked about this in the extras were so enthusiastic about this. Love that for him)

Speaking of moving camera - I greatly enjoyed the camera movement when Rattigan jumped over the citizens to reach the balcony with Olivia and the bat after his plan had been foiled at Buckingham palace. It was really fluent and full of angles

Back to the clocktower: when Ratigan snaps and you can see the angry pen strokes?? They simply don't make movies like this anymore

That was of course very scary too as a child

The final battle outside on the clock hands? Give this movie all awards !!

When Basil comes cycling on that little propeller thing? Link in Tears of the kingdom wishes he could do that

In the extras someone mentioned that they'd made extensive backstories of all the characters: why Rattigan became evil, how it was for Basil to grow up so smart etc. And i desperately want to read that

I know no one cares about the swedish voice actors but I found the different performances of both Basil and Rattigan interesting. I know Vincent Price is much beloved as Ratigan (justly so) but idk if it is nostalgia speaking but I think swedish Ratigan really held up. There were actually some lines that I knew by heart in swedish where the delivery was preferable to the English one for me. After looking it up i saw that the swedish VA is an opera singer (base) which really isn't a surprise given his performance. Basil's voices were really similar normally (so similar I didn't hear the change when I switched between languages - which i did one time to freshen up the swedish voices) but the VA in swedish goes up in falsetto quite often which gives a quite manic impression. Swedish!Basil's sanity is hung by a thread in his restless pursuit of his arch nemesis - which makes his devastation when Ratigan bests him more believable imo. English!Basil is much more a proper, brittish gentleman throughout. All performances were great, I just found the differences interesting.

I have some Core visuals from this movie living rent free in my mind since childhood which are: when Basil compares the two bullets, the closeups as Fidget jumps out at the audience, when Dawson pulls out the glass door with his finger, Ratigan squishing Olivia's doll, Basils machine when analyzing the paper, when Toby makes a stair out of his ear, that flag/balloon/matchbox contraption they used to chase Ratigan at the end, the end fight on the clock arms.

Did i miss your favourite part of the movie? Any core memories from this movie for you?

[lawlietscaramels]

I think you and 🍰 have mentioned it before, but I’d love to hear your thoughts about the way the musical portrays L. The concept album was my introduction to Death Note as well, but I feel like the L in the songs is a much more dramatic take on L? Which, y’know, makes sense, since it’s ✨musical theatre✨ and all. Like, “The Game Begins” is SO fun, but we’d never get a monologue like it from L in the manga or anime. Idk, the musical paints a bit of a different image of L to me. Not a bad one at all, just a different one.

-🎲

holy space cows 🎲 anon okay let's go! again answering this before my other asks because it's more me rambling than an actual story

GOOOOOD musical L when I first watched the musical I wanted to pick him up take him out of the screen and squeeze him like a stress ball. honestly I loved (love?) him maybe even more than anime L dhdhhdh

I'll put a break in here because I think I'm gonna say a lot

like. he did so many things like anime L (I've never read the manga so I see that L as "base" L) but also I feel had his own quirks. like how he hopped onto chairs (Teen Angst L did this too but because it was screen not stage it felt different. I've done stage acting before so maybe it's just me but screen doesn't feel as close, I just loooove stage acting, UGH. This was also why it was more dramatic in some places, you have to act for the whole audience but, I'm assuming you didn't see it live, WAIT have you even watched the recorded version?? It's on YouTube it's sooo good the subtitles are great too, you can sing along to the songs. it's in Japanese tho. Anyway my point was going to be, because you're acting for people really far away, your movements will be big and dramatic and you'll notice this if it's recorded up close).

HIS VOICE WAS SO NICE TOO like damn this is a fine ass man. His songs, I agree looking back at them they aren't all things anime L would say, especially not unprompted. But I don't think that it was so far out of character that it was unbelievable, you know? I actually think that though yes, the Game Begins was dramatic, that was just the song and not the tone of it, if that makes sense. I'd say songs like Playing His Game and (I can't remember the name but the one LawLight duet they sing at the college? not the tennis one. UGH I know the Japanese...) Anyway, I'd say those songs are more ooc. Cause I think L sees all of his cases as a game, his job as a game. Like yes he cares about human life but he also only takes on interesting cases. I've heard this is more like his manga version, which is kinda cool that this "headcanon" of mine is "canon."

AHAHA anyway the point I was actually going to make with that paragraph was: in the final song (a little ooc but in some lines very in character) L holds this one "O" note that makes me go WEAK IN THE KNEES and of course Light is singing over it at the same time, sobs. This is in the Japanese version. I prefer that version overall, but I like some of the English songs too, like Playing His Game and Requiem. So if you haven't listened to it YOU SHOULD!! It's on YouTube music, you can search up english song name + death note musical. A lot of them are by "LyricNear" I think. and you can ofc watch the full musical. but aaaa the final song breaks my heart but I have to listen to that goddamn note... you guys... you don't understand.

Uh, the musical did of course take some creative liberties. There was no Matsuda which I will always bring up because it is a crime, MUSICAL REMISA WAS THE BEST, the limited runtime cut plots and explanations (I kind of appreciated the ending, though I cried because I was hoping it would end differently), and I don't think they had a Watari. Actually thinking about that, that's probably the most ooc L thing in the whole movie: being able to take care of himself. (well presumably to some degree considering he's still alive at the start)

But yeah... I love musical L... I don't mind when he's ooc because it only disrupts soft headcanons of mine, not hard ones. I also haven't watched it for a while so I may be misremembering some things, but still. Gosh I really want to hug him... his clothes look so soft.... maybe I'll just steal his voice box/j

[ghost0loxer]

Imagine, a gender fluid teenager like myself has a favourite/feel-good film and that film is “Just One of the Guys,”from the mid 80s.

Picture this: theatre class, we watch “She’s The Man”, a dreamworks film from the 2000s. And yet, the social justice issues within the film are glaringly obvious to today’s society. Don’t get me wrong, it can be a funny film in a group setting - but then there are scenes that are just uncomfortable. Now, we discussed these themes in class, but I just can’t help but think about the film that came before it. Yes, StM (she’s the mans) is a modern day adaption of Shakespeare’s “Twelfth Night” but I was thinking about the modern day adaption before StM, “Just One of the Guys” from the mid 80s.

I love this film. For multiple reasons, which I hope to discuss.

Number one, our main character. Terry Griffith is stubborn. If she thinks something is right, she won’t let anyone say no or get in her way. Now in some cases, this is great. It’s definitely a shift in the usual romantic comedy female lead (especially for the 80s). But it’s one of her biggest flaws. In the beginning, Terry doesn’t win a contest for a part-time job at the Sun Tribune. She believes her article was amazing, but she speaks with her English teacher and he gives it to her straight. “You don’t have what it takes to be a reporter.” Her article is boring; it’s about the nutritional value of the lunch menu in the school cafeteria, of course it’s boring. But the words her teacher tells her has her convinced it’s because she’s a woman. Thus, she leaves school for two weeks and transfers as a buy to another school who are holding the same competition. Once she gives her article, she is told almost the same thing, but this time, she’s given proper feedback to improve it. Of course, there was some irony with this scene between Terry and the teacher. “Just because you’re guy, doesn’t mean you can’t be sensitive or light.” Thing is, she doesn’t give up, she strives to fix it and finds a new angle. I love her determination, I love the way she doesn’t let others push her around. Furthermore, her transition to a man. In StM, Viola as a guy is made to be cringey and comedic, you watch and think, there’s no way a guy would do that. But Terry, having grown up with a younger brother and is actually smart, manages to nail the role. Sure, she has slip-ups, but she stays afloat and she’s not being over the top. She’s chill and convincing, yet you as the audience can tell she’s trying to appear masculine. Her lines are witty and she’s sharp. Someone has something to say, she’ll be able to backtrack and answer with a joke or sarcasm quickly. I like smart characters.

Another point, the way women are written in this film. A lot of women in this film are treated like shit, but it’s probably a realistic depiction of the 80s. Everyone is talking about dating and sex, it seems to be the only topic the women in this film speak about, unless they are Terry. Terry seems to be the only character in this film whose main goal is not romance or sex. She strives to be a reporter, she wants to prove herself, and she rejects the advances upon her frequently. Whether it’s the boys asking her on dates in halls, or her own boyfriend attempting to seduce her when her parents aren’t home, she doesn’t put them above herself, yet she still lets them down easily, unless they become more pushy (case in point, her boyfriend, Kevin, in the beginning). She can stand up for herself, but she’s not the only one. Her best friend, Denise is one of the many women looking for love, nevertheless, she holds standards. I will admit, I didn’t like Denise’s acting in the beginning; she’s not a great character, but even she manages to reject men’s advances constantly. She’s not afraid to say it bluntly and she expresses her true emotions when certain guys try to ask her out. She tells it to them straight, and I respect her for that (despite her lack of empathy for some). Terry’s brother is constantly hitting on Denise, but she stands her ground. She doesn’t hit him or curse him out, she spins words around him and always lead back to the key word “no.”

This is my third, and maybe final point, (because I’m not great at writing but I’m starting to get tired) the way they handle sexual orientation. It seems if you’re going to make a film about a cross-dressing woman who falls in love with a man, you have to discuss sexuality and this film is not afraid to. That was my biggest beef with StM, when Viola confessed her love to Duke, the made it blatantly clear that it was “weird” and “unusual”; the editing and music cuts. It was done for comedic purposes, but in that moment, it just made me cringe. Even when the principal marched onto the field during the big match to expose Sebastian as “the woman he was all along,” he used a big megaphone and said to the whole crowd this man is in fact a girl. If it were to happen in the real world, and this character was a trans male, that would be traumatizing and so so insensitive. I couldn’t help thinking the way they handled the reveal in StM was poor and shitty.

But with JOotG (just one of the guys)? It’s done respectfully. Throughout the film, Buddy, Terry’s younger, sex-obsessed brother (I have thoughts on this character), often refers to Terry as a transvestite or sexually confused. They make references about her dating other women and jokes. It’s not treated like taboo, but just something people normally talk about, and as a questioning kid when I first watched the film, I really needed that. Although it was used for jokes, the fact that it wasn’t treated like a silent topic made me think more of it and discover who I was; it was media like this that made me accept myself.

Even with the reveal. Kevin, Terry’s boyfriend (or ex boyfriend by the end), stomps up to Terry after she’s wrestled with the school bully and was dumped into the waves at prom. Rick, who’s been Terry’s friend (and is the male lead) throughout her time at his high school, immediately questions who Kevin is and he responds with a harsh and sure “Terry’s boyfriend.” Of course, that doesn’t expose Terry as female, but makes Rick assume she’s a homosexual. But instead of calling her weird or replying negatively, he answers Kevin’s question calmly and says he’s just a friend. There is no prejudice, no disgust, Rick is shocked, but that’s expected. Furthermore, this reveal not only does not alienate homosexuality, it puts the center of focus on the main characters rather than have the whole audience/prom witness this exchange. Sure, the rest of the school is watching but the camera never pans over to them, and even then, Terry drags Rick away from the crowds to a secluded area to explain more.

Even once they’re secluded, Rick doesn’t yell at her or is homophobic. He just says “I understand, you’re gay.” As we know, Terry is not in fact gay and she reveals this to him in a similar fashion as StM, at least it’s not flashing a whole crowd. But the thing that hits me, is the fact that it’s not used as a joke or for comedy. Throughout the film, they’ve mentioned homosexuality and being transgender, but it was used as a light-hearted joke (nothing insulting or derogatory). In this moment, it’s not a joke, and it’s the bare minimum for a emotional scene like this, but it always hits me.

Of course, Rick gets justifiably mad that he’s been deceived and he storms off. Terry’s flaw catches up to her here, as she kisses him in front of the prom guests, stubborn to make him realize how much she cares. ( I didn’t agree with this action to be frank, I cringed ). The crowd gasps and it’s the usual reaction to a homosexual kiss and Rick just pulls back, says “It’s alright everyone, he’s got tits,” and leaves with Deborah.

In true romantic comedy fashion, life moves on. Terry gets the job at the Sun-Tribune after writing her article about posing as a guy and everyone who was longing for love in the beginning has found it, except Terry. The ending, however, is Rick coming back for her after a couple (days? Weeks? Idk all I know is it’s summer by the time he comes back, how much space between prom and summer?) and they kiss, go on a date and all is good.

Now after writing this long ass post, I’ve come to realize the main reason I like this film. Sure, Terry is a good character (not morally sometimes, but she’s interesting to watch), the way women are presented also is good, but my main source of affection for this film (in comparison to StM) is the way they handle the switching of genders. I’m gender fluid, I don’t always like being a woman or a man, I switch almost daily and half the time can’t decide if I want to grow out my hair or cut it. Seeing Terry, originally a woman, manage to convince people she was a guy made me wish I could do it too. It made me realize, I don’t always like being a woman. I want to be a guy sometimes, and I want that to be accepted. It was media like this, like Ouran High School Host Club, like Bare: A Pop Opera, that made me understand my gender and sexuality. (Even media that didn’t have any relation to LGBTQ+ helped).

When I first heard of “She’s the Man”, I had hoped it would be like these pieces of media. And it wasn’t. It was an alright film, but made me feel disappointed and somewhat let down. And that’s why I just prefer Just One of the Guys. Maybe it wouldn’t float in today’s political climate, maybe I’m wrong for seeing these points as reasons it’s one of my favorites, but its still better than StM and is one of my favourite films.

[elpercotreviews]

My Anime 9/10′s

With probably no spoilers cuz I don’t wanna talk too long about them zzz.

1. Fullmetal Alchemist

YALL ALREADY KNOW THIS A 9/10. The only real reason this show is not a 10/10 is because it’s just a story that I’d never rewatch. There’s like 70 episodes, which is way too long for my short attention span, especially since I’ve seen it already. But yeah, by all accounts, this story is a masterpiece and is one of the only “shounen” anime’s that I genuinely enjoyed. No random sexualization. No dumb filler. All the characters have an actual purpose and role in the plot and everyone has their own morals and ideals that interact to make the story interesting. I couldn’t bring myself to really hate anyone, even the villains, because everyone was pretty well written. Also super satisfying ending that ties up everything properly without leaving me confused or upset. If you only watch a few anime in your life, Fullmetal Alchemist is pretty much a MUST WATCH to see a beautiful example of a modern classic anime as an artform. Also I should say that I really don’t like Hunter x Hunter (AN EXTREMELY CONTROVERSIAL OPINION BTW) but I love Fullmetal Alchemist so take from that what you will.

2. Parasyte: The Maxim

Same kinda shit where you already know this a 9/10 for me. It’s just a very satisfying anime that doesn’t have random sexualization or random filler or anything like that. Ending is also very good and ties up the story in a way that doesn’t leave more questions but also allows the characters to have a “life” outside of the scope of the story. I think Parasyte, because of its more horror and psychological-esque vibes, counts as a seinen and not a shounen, so for more mature audiences. I also really liked how the story was successfully adapted to modern times since the manga is from the 80′s. I have actually rewatched this anime, but what stops me from giving it a 10/10 is a few things that I found kinda “stereotypical” that I don’t wanna discuss further too much cuz it’s spoilers. I still obviously really like this anime and highly recommend it.

3. Zankyou no Terror

TBH, this anime is pretty hard for me to properly describe in a lot of words as to why I like it. The art was really pretty as well as the music, which was just straight up amazing. The cinematography of this anime is excellent as well, and a lot of scenes have that sense of being acted out by real people, as opposed to feeling completely drawn/animated. I was a teenager when this anime came out and I think a lot of the themes presented in the show really related to me. The show does kinda have some leftover questions when it ends that prevents me from rating it a 10/10, but I have such a soft spot for this anime. It’s from the same creator as Samurai Champloo and Cowboy Bebop, and although those two animes are also very good, they did not impact me as much as this anime did. Recommended for people looking for idk something that gives off Inception vibes?? In the sense that it’s much more about its themes and its message more so than the believability of the events that occur.

4. Magic Kaito 1412

THIS IS JUST A PERSONAL PREFERENCE BTW LOLOL I DON’T KNOW ANYBODY WHO’D PUT THIS AS A 9/10 ANIME. I JUST REALLY LIKED IT OKAY. It’s made by the same person who does Detective Conan but I like this a lot more because it’s a much shorter series and slightly more mature (more for teens than just straight up kids). I really liked the main guy, I think he’s funny and charismatic. He’s a pervert at times but Imma forgive that cuz of the 90′s. Idk it’s just a really fun anime that I don’t have to take seriously and can just watch and enjoy.

5. Mob Psycho 100 (season 1 AND 2)

Imma put season two as slightly better than season one. So season one would be like a 9 and season two is like a 9.25 for me. Super super funny anime and I like it SO much more than One Punch Man. I liked that there was a good balance of serious moments, but you can definitely still count this anime as a comedy. I’m typically not the type to watch “comedy” but this anime genuinely had me laughing out loud, while also crying and freaking out right alongside the main character. The main guy is super great because he’s just this shy and sweet middle schooler, and it’s really interesting watching him balance trynna have a normal life while also using his powers for good and such. Apparently the anime was decently faithful to the manga and there’s apparently enough material for a third season so I’d be pretty stoked for a season 3, but season 2 ended on a pretty good spot and was satisfying. TBH, if I had the time, I’d probably rewatch both seasons and bump it up to a 10/10.

6. Vinland Saga

This anime is just the first season of what I hopes to be a whole series that will be stay beautifully and faithfully adapted from the manga. As someone who read very far into the manga (but quit like years ago simply because I hate slow updates lol), I actually didn’t enjoy watching the anime at first. I was impatient and kept waiting for when like the “major” events would happen. So I watched like three episodes and quit. But when I had some free time, I decided to get stuck in and commit to watching the whole series and I was so pleasantly surprised with just how good it was. I was impatient but I needed to realize that there is no “filler” or like “wasted time” in the entire anime. I hadn���t read the manga in years, so so many things were only vaguely familiar but I think this helped me stay surprised and excited throughout the anime. I’m looking forward to the rest of the manga being adapted because it’s just a good Viking saga lolol. Major themes of stuff like growing up, violence vs. peace, what it means to be a good person, etc. Lots of blood and LOTS of violence like a LOT they are VIKINGS CMON but tbh not really any gore which I liked cuz gore makes me ughhhh. A very good watch and only a taste of an excellent story.

7. Demon Slayer

It’s just Demon Slayer duhhh. Of course this a 9/10 for me. I don’t wanna write much just cuz the show is so popular. Just read a REAL review of this anime somewhere else lmaoooo. Also yes I did watch the movie in theaters and yes I liked it a lot as well mmkay. I’m mad hype for season two. My S/O doesn’t like Demon Slayer as much as me, but also has Hunter x Hunter as their all time favorite anime. Do with that information what you will lolol.

8. Attack on Titan Season 3 Part 2

Same shit as Demon Slayer. Just go read someone else’s review about why it’s so good lol. Also, unlike Mob Psycho 100, I can’t include all of the seasons in this, because I have very various opinions about how good/bad the other seasons were. But this season 3 part 2, was just plain and simply amazing. While I might not like each season equally, as a whole Attack on Titan is also a modern masterpiece of storytelling. Read the manga if you can.

9. Great Pretender

I love this anime so much. Such a good and fun wild ride. The whole show is ridiculous but in a fun way. I’m a HUGE fan of heist films, so of course I absolutely enjoyed a heist anime. I’ve watched this show in sub AND dub, due to the fact that everyone is “technically” speaking English the entire time. If you’re a purist, just watch in sub OR dub cuz I did get confused here and there, especially when I would go back to compare language discrepancies.  Because basically I did this super high maintenance thing where I switched back to Japanese whenever the main character had flashbacks, since he’s ya know, Japanese. The dub also has this confusing thing where the first five minutes or so are still in Japanese, but switches to English when a little cue card on the screen goes “For the Viewers sake, everything from now on will be translated to Japanese.” It’s cuz in the sub, the inverse obviously happens where the characters are initially speaking broken English to each other, but for convenience sake, everything from that point on will be in Japanese. It’s confusing at first but I liked it cuz it just proved the whole international vibe of the show. It’s funny either sub or dub when they joke about how bad the main guy speaks English, cuz in the dub he’s speaking perfect English, while the sub has him not speaking English at all. But anyway, great anime that WOULD have gotten a 10/10 if not for the last episode. Like without spoiling ... WTF WAS THAT LMAOOOO. The anime as a whole is super wacky and zany but at least I could try to think it’s real life, but that last episode was just so unbelievable and bizarre and pulled my suspension of disbelief into the STRATOSPHERE that I just had to convince myself that this show takes place in some improbable alternate reality where something like what happened in the last episode is at least 5 percent possible CUZ HOW DID ANY OF THAT WORK LMAOOO??? Once again, great show, one of my absolute favorites, BUT THAT ENDING THOUGH WTF.

10. BNA

Good super underrated anime that I don’t hear people talk about at all. If Beastars is anime Zootopia, then BNA is Disney Beastars lmaooo does that make sense? It’s a lot more fun and zany than Beastars and I liked it way more. Made by the same people who made Kill la Kill. I really like that more classic, animated “cheap” art style that the anime has, and I also really liked the plot of the story. Not a 10/10 cuz the show does leave a few unanswered questions at the end of it, but this show was such a fun and interesting ride. When I finished the last episode, I was left with a big smile on my face because I just genuinely enjoyed this anime. Recommended if you wanna watch something a little unique and more on the silly and wack side. Talks about some serious stuff, but luckily the show never takes itself TOO seriously, and remains overall lighthearted for a fun action/sci-fi show.

[bloodstained-ballgowns]

Things I... didn’t like as much, about Black Widow (2021):

Disclaimer: I loved this movie. I would give it 4/5 stars overall. This is a lot of nit-picking. Most of the choices I’m talking about here I still really enjoyed, but this is how I would change them to improve it *for me*. If you disagree, that’s fine! Obviously, spoilers.

I said in my ‘Things I Loved About Black Widow’ post that I consider the first 53 minutes to be perfect, and the rest to be not-so-perfect. This is where I complain about the not-so-perfect stuff. They didn’t drop the ball on the third act, they just...fumbled it a bit. It stayed dark, but to me, it lost a bit of its grit. Cate Shortland’s influence really shone through in the first act, but it got lost around the second and third acts for me because of how Marvel-y it got.

Firstly, I’m considering the hand-to-hand combat here to be second only to CATWS. So why did that element basically dissolve towards the end of the film? She barely fought anyone in the prison breakout. Yes, Natasha fought the Widows, but that was all slowmo-y and widows-bites-y and did not have the same level of choreography. I wish they’d carried it through. 

Talking of action, there was not enough of it between Natasha and Taskmaster (who is getting a whole other post, because that is a bag of mixed feelings I don’t want to delve into here), particularly in the third act. Action isn’t something I’m particularly interested in but I was excited for this dynamic. Antonia wasn’t the villain, but like, the bridge fight did not effectively demonstrate her whole mirroring deal. Yelena and Nat’s fight had more mirroring than her and Tasky’s. Antonia’s skill set really shines in hand-to-hand onscreen, but as I said, I felt that kind of dissolved in the third act. They completely cheated us out of an impressive showdown when Natasha let Antonia out of the cell and moved backwards and I totally thought they were going to duel...which would lead into the sky fight...and then...the room cracks and they’re blown apart?? Hmmm.

Why was the Red Room in the sky??? I get that they were moving around a lot and this movie needed to have some kind of Marvel explosive finale and it looked cool and everything but I prefer the comics’ more grounded version. I just think it would have been more effective for Natasha and Yelena to walk through the old halls of the building they grew up/were trained in, find the new facility underground or something and then blow the whole place to smithereens. It would have actually cemented the whole ‘going back to where it all started’ thing.

Now I know the reason for Dreykov’s off-screen demise was to show how a man as purely evil as him didn’t deserve a major, glorified death. He deserved the death of an afterthought. But I would have liked to see Nat plunge a knife into his heart. Or to see him try to go after Yelena somehow and Nat just shoot him in the back of the head. It didn’t feel like they gave us any closure on that front, particularly as they made a whole deal about Nat not seeing the body in Budapest...and then we didn’t see the body here either. I almost feel like his death was made so insignificant that it was forgettable.

The whole flashing back and showing that actually they did have everything figured out did not work for me, it felt like lazy writing. It gave me “BET YOU DIDN’T SEE THAT COMING, BET YOU UNDERESTIMATED HER, LOOK HOW CLEVER NATASHA IS! DIDN’T YOU UNDERESTIMATE HER? SHE HAD IT ALL FIGURED OUT YOU FOOLS HARHARHAR” vibes and I was just like...I know. Literally, I know how clever and calculated she is. I knew she wouldn’t have been outplayed like that at Melina’s. Maybe other people didn’t, but come on guys, think up with something a little less ‘gotcha’.

What the hell happened with Nat and Ross before they cut to ‘two weeks later’? *confusion intensifies*

Again, this is getting long. See the read-more.

This movie had a lot of bases to cover and a lot of information to convey and I think the script managed that pretty well overall, but it did lapse into a bit of ‘show-don’t-tell’ syndrome at times. Show me Nat’s mother being ‘relentless’ in her search, don’t just tell me about it. I did not want Renner’s Clint Barton in this movie, but they could have made the Budapest flashback a smidge longer, for my liking.

Disney would never do this, but I would have loved an R-rated Black Widow movie. Yelena is absolutely a character that would yell ‘Fuck!’ really loudly (think Florence Pugh in that cactus video). My suggestions above for Dreykov’s death were me being reserved: Nat stabbing him repeatedly would have been so cathartic (for me, idk about her).

Y’all know I’m a slut for Nat’s everything in this movie, particularly the hair, but goddammit the hair. Riddle me this, if Nat had in a perfectly good braid when she got into the helicopter, why did she emerge with flowing locks and one tiny useless plait on the left side of her head?? And then she redid that into the ponytail with all the little braids while preparing for battle at Melina’s (never mind the fact that Nat’s hair would not have been long enough for them to reach much past her shoulders as well as being tied up) and fit it all under a Melina-wig! HELLO, LOGISTICAL NIGHTMARE SPEAKING.

I’m pretty sure the whole Nat-not-understanding-science-speak thing was only there for the “In English”-*replies in Russian* gag but it still seemed a little ooc since she’s never had a problem with it before. Idk if I would class this is as Nat ‘playing dumb’ to get more information like she does later with Dreykov since Yelena is readily giving her that info, and Yelena is also good enough to realise when she’s being manipulated like that.

Ummmm whole separate post for reasoning and such but the magic dust antidote? Not a vibe. No thank you. Lazy. Unrealistic. 

So...Alexei and Melina. It’s not that I don’t like them as characters - I really enjoyed them, I think they’re great characters. Fascinating to analyse. Did I love the Ohio mission sequence? Yes. Did I really appreciate the family dynamic and all the fanfic possibilities it gave us? Yes. But do I wish they weren’t in this movie at all? Yeah, kinda. The family dynamic was funny, and it was heartwarming, and it was heartbreaking, because it was executed so well, but the fact is that it was added by Kevin Feige to make this movie more palatable for the wider audience. Alexei’s dad jokes breaking the tension were probably an imperative for most audiences to enjoy the film. (Yelena’s dry sarcasm could have filled that role easily for me). But I didn’t want the tension broken. I didn’t want people to relax. I wanted them to come out and have to decompress because it was so intense. It’s easier to market a film about ‘family and going back to the past’ than ‘female subjugation and exploitation’. I don’t appreciate it, but I get it. Making this into a quasi-ensemble piece in the second and third acts just irritated me though. I wanted all the screentime possible to be on Natasha and Yelena. They could totally have pulled it off without their parents.

This really is nitpicky, but would a Liho mention have been too much to ask for? It would have been so easy, when Yelena asked “did you ever wish for kids?”, Nat could have replied with “i have a cat”, which is a good deflection but also informative, or her lockscreen could have lit up to show a tiny black kitten. Idk, this movie used a couple of good comics references and I guess I was hoping for one more.

*whispers and runs away* Bucky should have been here. Goddammit.

In conclusion, a lot of my critiques could be fixed if we didn’t live in a time where this film still had to be palatable for wider audiences who do not care about characters nearly as much as they care about action or humour or plot or spectacle. A lot of the strong choices paid off (they’ve riled up dudebros enough to prove that). The Marvel-y ending and Alexei’s humour did not. The rest is just logistical errors and missed opportunities.

This is a lot of complaining but I promise, these annoyances are much more minor than I’m making them out to be. The movie is magnificent even with them.

[ofsleights]

            ✱ ╱ song joong ki + cis man + he / him / his ━ if you happen to find yourself stuck in tartarus, make sure you don't run into SHIN YO-HAN there. the THIRTY FIVE year old has made quite the reputation for themselves under their alias as HECATERUS, a CAPOREGIME OF DRUG DEALERS AND THIEVES for TITANS. while their enemies often describe them as doctrinaire and quarrelsome, their syndicate would say that they're highbrow and urbane. they DO NOT think that zane was murdered, but they'll be keeping that to themselves for now. ( the gentle click of italian leather shoes announcing his presence, dim lamp light illuminating his office at the early morning hours, dark hues dancing with curiosity and chaos, the windows of luxury vehicles kissed by heavy clouds of steam ).

            hi  again,  everyone  !  this  took  me ... forever  to  get  together,  and  is  probably  filled  with  useless details,  but  i’m  so  excited  to  introduce  yohan  to  everyone.  once  more,  i’m  kiva,  twenty4,  prefer  either  she / her  or  they / them  pronouns,  and  i  reside  in  the  eastern  tz  !  also  pls  don’t  roast  my  pinned  JNVCNVC  i  have  a  prettier  one  in  my  drafts,  but  i’m  saving  it  for  when  i  bring  my  second  chara  hehe.  that  being  said,  ‘  yohan,  you  bastard  !  ’  was  filmed  in  front  of  a  live  studio  audience.  😌

*   🃏   𝚂𝚃𝙰𝚃𝙸𝚂𝚃𝙸𝙲𝚂.

            name  :  dr.  shin yo-han.  nicknames:  went  by  sebastian  during  his  school  years,  rarely  called  han.  age  +  date  of  birth  :  35  +  june  10th,  1986.  moral  alignment  :  lawful  evil.  gender  +  pronouns  :  cis  man  +  he / him / hims.  place  of  birth  :  carnegie  jill,  new  york.  place  of  residence  :  tartarus,  california.  orientation  :  bisexual  biromantic.  occupation  :  caporegime  professor  of  game  theory.  nationality  :  korean - american.  ethnicity  :  korean.  languages  spoken  :  korean,  english,  japanese,  and  conversational  spanish.

*   🃏   𝙱𝙸𝙾𝙶𝚁𝙰𝙿𝙷𝚈.

            —   when  one  hears  the  shin  family  name,  they  are  aware  of  who  they’re  about  encounter.  made  up  of  shin  cho - hee  and  shin  jin - hwan,  the  two  were  set  up  for  life  from  the  moments  they  were  born,  but  that  doesn’t  mean  that  they  didn’t  know  how  to  work  to  get  more  of  what  they  already  had.  with  the  best  colleges  on  their  resumés  and  the  amount  of  money  in  their  bank  accounts,  it  was  only  a  matter  of  time  for  them  to  meet  (  even  if  it  was  their  parents  who  set  up  the  meeting  ).

            —   they  turn  out  to  be  a  match  made  in  heaven  as  the  couple  are  both  ruthless  and  cunning,  with  desires  to  expand  their  families  fortunes.  cho - hee  and  jin - hwan  marry  in  a  lavish  ceremony,  and  not  even  five  years  later,  they’re  moving  to  new  york  city  to  take  their  companies  from  strictly  europe  and  asia  based  to  the  west.  the  company  grows  exponentially  within  a  few  short  years,  and  during  that  time,  they  have  their  only  child  yo-han.  

            —  yohan  is  a  child  that  fell  in  line  when  he  was  supposed  to  and  was  clearly  grateful  of  the  life  he  was  able  to  live.  attending  the  trinity  school  in  new  york  city,  yohan  was  afforded  the  best  education  that  money  could  buy,  so  it  was  no  surprise  that  he  graduated  with  high  marks.  the  only  downside  that  he  faced  was  the  lack  of  bonding  time  that  he  had  with  his  parents  (  as  they  were  often  too  busy  for  him  ),  but  when  soccer  games  continuously  got  missed,  dinners  were  often  had  alone,  or  field  trip  permission  slip  signatures  were  forged,  yohan  easily  grasped  that  he  was  essentially  on  his  own.

            —   college  acceptances  roll  out,  and  yohan  goes  off  to  study  economics  at  columbia  university.  an  honors  student,  yohan  does  well  as  he’s  expected  to,  and  although  they’ve  missed  most  of  his  life,  his  parents  are  able  to  brag  about  having  their  child  graduate  from  one  of  the  ivies.  academically,  yohan  appeases  his  parents,  going  on  to  study  economics  at  stanford  for  his  masters  degree  and  princeton  for  his  phd.  during  those  years,  yohan  develops  an  interest  in  game  theory.  while  he  was  good  at  beating  anyone  in  a  game  of  logic,  yohan’s  immense  knowledge  is  what  eventually  gets  him  into  trouble.

           —   while  getting  his  masters,  yohan  began  using  said  knowledge  to  start  counting  cards  at  casinos.  he’ll  lose  a  few  hands  here  and  there  to  make  up  for  his  big  wins,  but  of  course  it  doesn’t  take  long  for  him  to  start  getting  some  . . .  unwanted  attention.  forever  able  to  get  himself  out  of  trouble  with  a  bit  of  smooth  talking,  it  works  for  a  while  until  he  gets  the  attention  of  the  titans.  if  there  was  one  thing  about  yohan,  he  may  have  been  privileged  since  birth,  but  he  was  both  book  and  street  smart  . . .  maybe  too  much  for  his  good.  it  was  inevitable  that  yohan’s  abilities  to  get  what  he  wants  while  charming  the  pants  off  others  works  in  his  favor.

            —   by  night,  yohan  was  once  a  lowly  thief  himself,  greedy  fingers  taking  what  was  needed  and  executing  flawless  heists  where  they  were  in  and  out  in  record  time.  by  day,  he  was  soon  a  phd  student  which  then  turned  into  having  a  more . . . legitimate  job  as  a  professor  of  game  theory  at  a  local  university.  through  those  years  of  moonlighting,  yohan  moves  up  in  the  ranks,  and  has  now  taken  over  as  capo  of  the  drug  dealers  and  thieves.  (  this  was  bad  i’m  so  sorry  )

*   🃏   𝙷𝙴𝙰𝙳𝙲𝙰𝙽𝙾𝙽𝚂.

a  piece  of  shit,  i’ll  be  the  first  to  admit  it.  he’s  a  one  and  done  kind  of  man  which  makes  him  sound  SO  bad,  but  he’s  just  casual  about  a  lot  of  things  he  does  in  a  romantic  light.

brash  !  straightforward  !  will  tell  you  you’re  stupid  to  your  face  in  the  form  of  :  ‘  are  you  dumb  ?  ’  and  he’s  not  asking.  

since  his  godly  alias  is  hecaterus,  basically  he’s  just  really  good  at  sleight  of  hand  !  which  is  why,  it  makes  sense  that  he’s  good  at  stealing  lol.  probably  teaches  the  dealers  a  thing  or  two  about  how  to  do  quick  transactions  and  the  like,  and  is  good  at  well  executed  heists.  five  minutes  or  less  is  the  goal.

at  most  he  probably  gets  along  with  his  cat  the  best  💀.  the  cat  doesn’t  even  have  a  name  they  just  vibe  in  his  fancy  apartment  together.

well  dressed  . . .  so  well  dressed  he’ll  make  you  cry  (  JOKE  ).  but  in  all  seriousness,  he’s  sharply  dressed  in  well  tailored  suits  or  at  least  well  tailored  button  downs  and  trousers  at  all  times.  hair  is  styled  off  off  his  forehead,  only  ever  down  at  home.  not  much  of  a  sneakers  man  unless  working  out.

probably  has  a  therapist  who  can’t  stand  him  because  he  doesn’t  open  up  and  answers  questions  with  questions.

*   🃏   𝚆𝙰𝙽𝚃𝙴𝙳.

his  heavenly  companion.  maybe  this  is  kinda  silly,  but  basically  one  of  the  strippers  that  he  gets  along  v  well  with  and  idk,  they  vibe  whenever  he  comes  around.  usually  it’s  just  to  hang  out  and  get  a  drink  or  two,  he’ll  pay  them  well  for  literally  five  minutes  of  time  lol  bonus  points  if  they  spill  him  the  beans  about  customers  hehe.

damn  . . .  an  ex  !  i’m  thinking  they  got  really  serious  and  were  so  into  each  other  but  then  they  could have  found  out  what  he  does  really  or  they’re  from  another  syndicate  so  their  breakup  was  really  inevitable.

a  best  friend  !  someone  who  calls  him  out  on  his  shit  and  he  does  vice  versa.  they  get  along  too  well,  almost  bordering  on  the  line  of  siblings.  they  probably  bicker  like  siblings  too.

friends  with  benefits  kinda  situation.  simply  put,  they’re  there  for  one  another  when  they  need  to  relieve  some  steam  but  they  also  get  along  really  well.  someone  catching  feelings  . . .  👀.

crush  ?  idk,  someone  who  might  like  him  (  for  whatever  reason  )  but  it’s  too  damn  oblivious  to  notice  .

of  course,  connections  from  the  titans  !  positive,  negative,  neutral  . . .  hand  it  over  !  and  i’m  down  to  fill  any  wanted  connections  where  you  could  see  yohan  fitting  but  pls  let’s  plot  i’ve  waited  long  enough  !

[aqvarius]

Masquerade Kiss: Do Bad Girls Like to Self-pleasure? Kazuomi Shido - otona love - chapter 1 summary/translation

my adhd means i love starting new projects so when i was browsing otkoi while procrastinating, this story caught my eye and i just had to read and translate it. basically this is a story from kazuomi’s pov as he catches you masturbating and getting yourself off, your fingers secretly extending where his tongue had just been... 

this is image-heavy so i’ll put my translation/recap under a cut. keep reading on for cute banter, steamy scenes, kazu being head over heels in love, and something shocking that he sees you doing... 

anyway the story starts and you go to see kazu because you’ve heard a rumour he’s opening a new resort. something i learnt is that you call him 獅堂社長  which i love and find kind of hot. 

you banter a bit (he’s like news spreads fast and you say he’s a busy man does he even have time) and kazu basically says that isn’t it more meaningful to meet with the woman he loves than to just pass time [not knowing what to do] and you’re like i’m honoured that you think that time spent with me is meaningful. these two have so much flirty chemistry it’s wild.

anyway this outrageous man then says:

“nothing is more meaningful than time spent with your body”

he thinks you’re not the type to take his words at face value, but you're probably aware that he managed to squeeze in time for you. 

you’re chilling on the couch having wine and snacks and you mention there’s a new lady borden flavour out, which naturally kazu already knows about. you say that you missed out on that flavour last year so you’re really looking forward to trying it this time. kazu is too busy being mesmerised by the gesture of you putting your mouth to the glass and the comfortable way you talk when you’re off-mission. 

“it’s been a while since i spent time like this with you”, he thinks. 

you turn to look at him and smile, your eyes glowing with a shy sensuality, and kazu’s chest rings louder/his heart races. ugh he’s so soft for his mc fsl;kjdlafs

you tell him you get shy when he stares at you that much and he says

“the dignified appearance that you have when you’re on a mission is good, but your shy face is good too”

“how very mean of you to not let me see it”

you: “i don’t know what kind of expression i should have if you look at me so seriously”

“would you believe me if i said that i’m fond of any expression you make?” 

you: “i don’t know... you’re a good bargainer... i’d have to ask your lips”

honestly the tension between these two is TOO MUCH. 

kazu thinks that love isn’t just about romping around in bed, it also exists in these casual conversations. if you spend time exchanging love words and gazing at each other, things will be even better in bed. 

who knew that he was such a romantic alskdjfls

the moment your lips touch, your body jumps slightly and you make a “nn” sound. 

“whoa, we haven’t even kissed yet”

(i wish i knew how to translate the ”おっと” in a way that captures its cheekiness...)

you tell him you want more and he thinks well since you’re being so cute, there’s no need to tease you. so he picks you up, kissing you, and carries you to bed. 

you tell him you feel like you’re always at his mercy/being tossed around by him and that he’s always so composed. 

“you think so?” kazuomi says. 

he pushes you down on the bed and strokes your body. 

while writhing in frustrating pleasure [from being touched over your clothes], your hands suddenly touch his lower abdomen. 

“...don’t stimulate me so much”

he pins your hands above your head. when he carefully peels off your clothes and underwear, your breasts* bounce alluringly. 

(*i literally had to search for ages to figure out what 膨らみ meant in this context lmao which involved having to go on certain websites to confirm bc for a while i thought it meant his erection but why would he be talking about himself like that. i wish this language had more possessive pronouns.)

“i’m always turned on by you”

he puts his lips on your soft skin and grazes the tip of your pale flesh with his fingerpads. he pinches it lightly and your voice becomes sweeter and you moan his name.** he says it’s become pert so quickly, you must be really feeling it, and you’re like “that’s because you....”

**she calls him shido btw which i personally prefer but i kind of get why they have to use first names for western audiences.

“hm? do you like [what] this finger [is doing to you]?”

(you know my kotobazeme-loving heart is lapping this up)

enjoying the way your skin feels, he uses his fingers to search out your weak spots one by one. 

“the one who lit my fire is you”

while he squeezes your breasts and plays with your nipples with his fingers, his lips travel down your sides and your thighs... then he takes off your skirt and underwear and also removes his shirt which is irritating him. it’s nice seeing kazu getting a little impatient too haha, the perks of his pov stories right?

“i’ve only touched you a little but...”

you: “no... don’t look...”

“i’m always saying that that’s an impossible request.”

he stands you on your knees(or he gets on his knees? idk) so he can attend to your dripping ~flower bud~. to soothe your trembling neck/head(?), he loves on your ~flower bud~ directly with his finger. i’m assuming that 花芽 (kaga) and  蕾 (tsubomi) are euphemisms for your vagina, so i think this means that he basically starts stroking you with his finger. 

“とろけきっている蕾をもっとよく解そうと、あなたの膝を立たせた。 必死に首を振るあなたをなだめるように、花芽を指で直接愛してやる” (anyone who can translate/understand this better please help me haha these euphemisms are so hard to understand)

you moan and he says:

“that’s a nice reaction”

(!!!!!!!!)

he laps up your nectar with his tongue as his fingers stimulate your clit and inner walls. he slowly intensifies whatever [塗りつけ smearing?] he’s doing to your dripping ~flower bud~ and enjoys watching as he brings you to the peak of pleasure just using his fingers. 

he considers it foreplay for himself. we stan a man who gets off on making his woman feel good lol. 

you’re overflowing with sex appeal after he satisfies you, and then he slowly sinks into you...

then there’s a fade to after you’ve ~joined bodies and minds~ multiple times (yeah they really phrase it like that), you open your mouth with a melted look that you’d never show during a mission. you basically tell him that it’s too good every single time. kazu says his lover is great at giving compliments. 

kazuomi thinks of course he knows how absolutely satisfied you are by your body’s reactions. it’s this feeling that makes you have that satisfied face. and then he thinks the most romantic thing:

“there’s only one person i find so lovely... the only one i can remember who makes my heart race like this is you.”

the next morning, he’s drinking coffee when he feels a strange gaze on him. “what?” he asks, and you’re like “n-nothing...” kazu thinks it doesn’t seem like it’s nothing because you keep staring at him. 

“so, are you sexually frustrated?” 

you’re like “omg what are you saying...! why don’t you go take a shower already”

he wonders what you’re up to but goes to the bathroom anyway. and then quickly realises he wants to take a shower together so he turns on his heel and goes back into the bedroom to get you. 

with a hand on the bedroom door, he opens his mouth - but is greeted with an unexpected scene and his mind stops working for a moment. 

he sees you lying on the bed, moving. 

“your body is covered by the sheets, but that is definitely..........”

 AND THAT’S WHERE CHAPTER 1 ENDS! they are such a tease to literally leave us hanging right there!! i hope you enjoyed this - i love seeing the banter between kazu and his mc, and also seeing how completely head over heels he is for her. 

please let me know if you think i should continue summarising/translating this story. i’m also slowly working on translating “not your first night” with soma which you can find here if you’re interested.  i’ve set up a ko-fi page here and would be incredibly grateful if you would like to support me for translations and being able to purchase more routes to recap in english!

click here to read chapter 2

[zuol]

thinking about everything and everything and everything.

life is good. it feels like i am lying to myself as i am saying this because there are so many things that are “wrong” but i don’t feel guilty. i don’t feel guilty for existing. i have felt this strongly about wanting to live for some time now, but finding the words to type this out and fully believing that.. is good. it’s great.

i find myself not caring about what i say and don’t say. i don’t care about the consequences so much. my favorite thing is probably talking to myself. i prefer it over journaling because the act of writing tires me out faster lol.

i had a moment where i felt scared again, thinking about the past. i remind myself that the past informs me. it doesn’t define who i am.

i feel dramatic saying this but then again, who cares. this is for myself. i made this for myself. i am the one who looks back on this blog and reads up on whatever past me has said.

i went for a bike ride to return some library books, but i kept men without women with me. i didn’t finish reading it today but i will tomorrow.

i laugh at murakami’a casual sexism. although i can make a lot of critique on how his writing of women is ridiculous and laughable, i try to think of it in another way: a man’s perspective on women. this is why i avoid men or raise a brow when they say murakami is one of their favorite authors. lol! it feels such a long time since ive been immersed in his work, and maybe that’s why i distinctly remember the good parts. i keep going back to his interview with mieko kawakami, where she called him out on his portrayal of women in his novels. haaaaa.

it’s due tomorrow. i will try my best to finish it.

i like that i can laugh at myself. i love being lighthearted and doing things i care about and also open to being wrong and making others laugh and showing care through my actions. i like how i decided that i can talk and type and write however i want because i am silly. i don’t really want to write a certain way because it seems like there’s an audience, when this is solely for me. everything i do is solely for me, and i forget that. i say all of this because i don’t hold too much respect for the English language. and come on, i am a first generation (my parents are refugees from vietnam) vietnamese american. why am i being hella hard on myself for? i just... lol. lol.

i just started pushing myself to run after asking my cousin to run with me this week. it really isn’t easy, but i don’t have any goals when i am running. as long as i am doing it, that is fine. perfect, actually!! so i do a combination of running and walking. it takes a lot of willpower and i do admire those who run long durations. with biking, it’s a bit different. the first thing is that you’re on a vehicle (what else should I call this idk), but it’s the fact that you can go so fast so quickly.. it’s a HUGE reward. even when i bike uphill, i get a sudden rush when i don’t have to push my leg muscles so hard and just feel the breeze.

it started getting warmer yesterday. it’s insane. 70 degrees. 65 degrees today. was it like this last year? i remember seeing snow on the hills.

funny how i appreciate it so much. i want to cry because of how much exercise as changed my life. my heart feels really warm and i feel this softness for myself, because it’s one of the things i really feel like i have done for myself.

there’s this deep sadness that is unexplainable because you’re not doing things for yourself. it swallows you whole and again and again, you point to this small thing that isn’t even close to the root of the issue. that small thing is sometimes yourself.

i had to tell myself that i am not the problem. i am telling myself that now.

how does it feel to be in a position where you have full agency? relieving, comfortable, and content.

i feel like my will to live becomes stronger and stronger. i can’t say that i have found ways to alleviate my pain, but i do sit with it. because alleviating it means that there’s something wrong with you. that doesn’t sound right. what i mean is that pushing those unwanted, negative feelings may fuel them even more. so sometimes, i sit with it and allow myself to get fucking mad and irritated. probably best to go on a bike ride. lately, i found that recording myself helps, because i usually end my rant with laughter. i laugh at how ridiculous i am. i don’t know. just laughing it off makes it all better. maybe because i enjoy myself so much (that sounds like a complete lie now that im reading it, but I do like myself).

01/18/2021 good night <3

[throwing-summers-at-the-walls]

Hi, i hope you are feeling good! Im better than yesterday so i can finally answer you. First of all: i am so happy that you shared your fanfiction! i had a great time reading it! Im always open for more recs. Maybe your all time favorites? Or if you know some good h/c these are always welcome :) And YESSS please send me a link to your fanvids. -- yeah 13rw was super cursed. haha i also watched season 1 but thankfully i was able to sto watching becaue i could feel it making me feel bad (1)

I agree the suicide scene was just cringe (but i think i remember reading somewhere that they cut it out? idk) and overall this show just gave me the feeling that there was no hope and things are always getting worse instead of better and i hated that. but enough of that cursed show. can i just say i really admire how open you are about your feelings (like being suicidal and that) i realy, really admire this about you. i have so much respect for you that you can just share your feelings here (2)

I have never heard of ace attorney but that story you described sounds really good. and i get reading sth that isnt good for you and still doing it (because im a dumb bitch too :D) -- okay i might accept that Root will never grow on you (but i thought so too and look at me now :D) but i havent fully given up yet :)-- yes thats the girl. i think it was really sweet when she said that to Shaw. and i think Shaw appreciated it that someone tried to figure her out instead of just writting her off (3)

Shaw is really cool and definately also a badass and in combination with John its just great! but you will have to suffer trough some Shoot.  but maybe, maybe you will end up not hating Root. hope dies last (idk how the saying goes in english, sorry). -- Did you ever ship Caresse (in a romantic way)? cause sometimes i do and sometimes i dont and i get so confused about it :) but i think most of the time i like them more as friends. anyway her death really sucked and you are right with (4)

her death and them losing the library it felt like a different show (i mean i guess it was a different show then). i kinda get your feelings about the destroyed library because i also really loved it (and im really bad with change) but i dont think it affected me as much as you. but yeah i still missed the library very much. and while the subway is a really cool new place its not the same. (also the subway is super dark cause its underground and idk it just makes the whole thing less homey) (5)

Yes he is everything! such a great, interesting character and i wish there were more John-centric episodes! (like ones that explored his character more). that was one of my biggest dislikes of the later seasons that John wasnt featured as much anymore. i think he chuckled a few times in the show but a real laugh? i cant remember one :(  -- He did promise Joss to talk to Tyler so @show were is that talk? -- if seen the vid its awesome! thehiddenmemory has some great poi vids! (6)

yes i think so too. Like Grace would probably be relived and thankful that Harold is still alive and maybe they would even try again but eventually she would figure out that she cant trust him after lying to him for so long or sth like that and Harold would ofc realize that he is in love with someone else now. And then he finds out that John is still alive but stayed away cause he didnt want to get in the way of Harold/Grace. But then Harold comes back. And when they meet again John is like (7)

you came back for the machine? what about Grace. But Harold tells him he came back for John not the machine and then they kiss and have a happy live with Bear (sorry i got a little carried away here :D). -- Yeah Zoe is really hot and she needed more screen time! -- i hope you have a good day and i hope i havent messed up the numbers on the asks! :)

Hi ! I'm finally free from the resits, I hope you're doing okay with your thesis 💛

Sorry for replying late, there was the exam resits, and I read a bunch of fics, then I fell into pokémon and started bingewatching it. (Also I had a breakdown during therapy today so I'm gonna finish writing my answer to distract myself - it's been sitting in my drafts for so long rip)

Thank you !! It was a very personal thing, I'm really happy you liked it !! Your support and your comment made me thrive 💛💛

Tbh I was surprised to see it get kudos given that the only intended audience was my self projecting ass 🤣

So, my fav fics (my fav fic ever is in French, rip to y'all bc it's so good):

I am, I am, I am by RavenWhitecastle

Actually check the entire series this work belongs to: The Sinner and the Saint. I haven't finished it yet but I love it (I just skipped the explicit fics bc I don't like smut or sub!John)

Breaking All The Rules by talkingtothesky

Outsider Perspective by Neery

A Really Private Person by astolat

Hamartia (the hero's fatal flaw) by astolat

If Only for Tonight by spacemutineer

From Here, Where? by AKMars

Stroll by TheaNishimori

and the world was gone by lunarcorvid

a light that never goes out by vindicatedtruth

Limitations. by Michaelssw0rd

Reel you in and spit you out by Michaelssw0rd

All I Want For Christmas Is You by richmahogany

By What Power I Am Made Bold by brinnanza

Aftershocks by darringtons

At Certain Hours It All Breaks Down by nogoaway

construction of a kingdom by the_ragnarok

You Take Me Higher Than I've Gone by talkingtothesky

All Together Now by beadedslipper

I'll Let the Waters Still by brinnanza

Birthday Tradition by talkingtothesky

Things My Father Taught Me by KRyn

Truth is in the Eye of the Beholder by infiniteeight

Better Luck This Time by Lisztful

Motivations by JenNova

What's On the Table by cortue

In Another Life by Della19

I Thought We Already Were by talkingtothesky

Misunderstandings by thisstarvingartist

This is already fucking long omg so for the h/c: my bookmarks filtered with Rinch and h/c

Here's my playlist, it's mostly Rinch, but there are a few not Rinch vids, plus some scenes I like

This is long enough already, so it's time for a read more. Also, warning, we be talking about suicide

The portrayal of suicide is cringe most of the time anyway. If my suicidal ass can find a list of suicide methods and their lethality in 2 mins on Google you'd think writers who are supposed to do some research would be able to find them too but no they're like "ah yes slicing wrists" even though it's literally the shittiest method 🙄 (I just don't understand why slicing wrists seems to be such a popular method in the collective imagination ? It's weird.) At least in 13rw she took aspirin and cut herself vertically instead of horizontally but still, no hesitation wounds, and she dies even though she only got 4 wounds iirc ? I know more about jumping off bridges than slicing wrists, but it kinda sounds like bullshit to me. Also Netflix once suggested "beyond the reasons" to me, it's a sort of discussion with the cast and crew of 13rw and the only thing I remember is a moment of intellectual masturbation abt how they "opened a discussion abt suicide" 😬😬😬

They may have cut it out it's not impossible, idk I didn't hear about it, but it's not like I look for info about this dumpster fire lol. Maybe they faced backlash ? Wouldn't be surprised given how shit the show was. And yeah it has a hopeless vibe, I mean that's how it be when you're suicidal, but I didn't like it either.

You're sweet 💜💜 it's interesting that you find it respectable or admirable, I don't have an external point of view, so I'm just like 🤷 it is what it is. I understand where you're coming from though, I guess it's still quite a taboo subject, and suicidal people don't always feel comfortable talking about it, so me throwing around that I jumped off a bridge must be surprising. I'm detached enough from my suicide attempt that I'm able to talk about it without much of a problem, and I'm not really suicidal anymore.

Dumb bitches unite 👏👏👏 we be out there reading shit we shouldn't read

Yeah I think it's nice how the show didn't portray Shaw as a bad person for not having "normal feelings". Well, hope makes one live as we say in French (idk the English saying either lol) but don't hold much hope about me liking Root lmao

I used to ship careese bc they kissed in the crossing, but then I read some Rinch fics and I just ended up falling into it to the point where I stopped caring about careese. Now I think their relationship works better as a friendship.

Yeah all that change really puts me off... It just gives me "bad spin-off" vibes. Especially since there is less John :( and less Rinch :((((

Lmao yeah I just have a lot of feelings about early poi hgkfglrk. Also :/ I'm sad about the subway being less homey pls I just want happiness ?? I swear this show destroys my heart on top of owning my last braincell (brb changing my blog title to this lmao)

Mood I need all the John-centric eps, give me m o r e characterization and development and backstory and feelings hhhhhhh. I love him so much I just wanna spend more time with him. And that's what fics are for ! Yeah thehiddenmemory is so talented ! Astolat made some good ones too, on top of writing really good fics ! (Our fandom has been blessed with the presence of one of the ao3 founders hell yeah)

Also, remember how we talked abt the poi subreddit ? The other day I left a comment on there, wild I know. It wasn't a discussion about the last seasons though, I'm not crazy, it was about the impact poi had in our lives so I said it literally taught me English. Who knows maybe sometimes I'll comment again lol. I just don't wanna meet one of those people who prefer late poi over early poi.

Allow me to uuuuh write something based on what you said. Don't ask me how John survived with no major injuries, my man got that Thick Plot Armor alright. Hope you appreciate me getting carried away sjdkdksk it's kinda rushed and the first part isn't that good bc idk how to write Grace I'm just here for that sweet sweet Rinch stuff

Harold is eating breakfast with Grace in her kitchen – he can't think of her home as his home – when his phone vibrates. It's a text from the machine. It's a surprise, she barely contacted him since... He blocks the thoughts and the images coming to his mind. The machine sent him a picture. When he opens it, his heart misses a beat. Right here on his screen is a silhouette he thought he would never see again. His phone vibrates again. Another picture, this time it's unmistakably John, wearing his signature suit, Bear next to him. Transfixed, he stares at his phone until he feels Grace gently touching his arm. She goes straight to the point.

"Is it John ?" He looks up in confusion, but before he can say anything, she adds, "I hear you call him in your sleep every night."

"It's him, yes." He doesn't want to explain. He only wants to see John, to touch him, to tell him how much he loves him.

"You should go back to him. I like you, Harold. I am deeply relieved to see you alive. But I've been thinking, and... It's not working. This, us... You aren't really the man I fell in love with, the man I grieved... I can't trust you anymore." She doesn't say 'You lied to me' but Harold hears it all the same.

~

Harold sits on their bench. The machine indicated John often comes here. Soon enough, his arms are full of Bear, and John is standing in front of him.

"John. How are you ?" he asks when Bear finally calms down.

"Busy. And you ?"

Harold eyes him suspiciously – John once said he was busy when he was bleeding and way too close to death – but he seems to be well.

"I'm fine." He doesn't have time for awkward small talk." I thought you were dead. Why didn't you contact me ?"

"The machine told me you were with Grace. I thought you wanted to come back to your previous life. I didn't want to crash into it and ruin what you had."

Harold wants to be angry at him, but he understands. He did the same with Grace.

"You would never ruin anything. Besides, my relationship with Grace... didn't survive my lies. She's very dear to my heart, but she's a part of my previous life, as you said."

"So you came back for the machine, and the numbers, like the good old times ?"

Harold gets up from the bench.

"I came back for you. You are an important part of my life. The most important part."

John smiles, finally. He takes a step towards Harold, they're so close they could kiss. Harold reaches out, grips his shirt and slowly inches closer. He's still afraid of being rejected but John wraps his arm around him and kisses him. The kiss is over too soon. John's smile is even wider when they part.

"You're the most important part of my life too," he says before kissing Harold again. "You will stay ?"

"Always."

Damn I live for sappy Rinch stuff.

Bitches decided that Harold saying "always" is peak Rinch. It's me I'm bitches.

Also ofc I had to make a reference to number crunch, who do you think I am

Anyway. I hope you have a good day ! 💛

[dillydedalus]

september reading

there is literally no way it is september. impossible. anyway this month we have  horror, Fake Dating, the rashomon effect, a time war, and most importantly, no neutrals to be found anywhere

the old man & his sons, heðin brú (tr. from faroese by john f. west) published on the faroe islands in 1940 and the first faroese novel to be translated into english, this is a story about the dramatic shift in life style during the 30s on the faroe islands, from hardscrabble subsistence farming/fishing to market economy. interesting look at changing life on isolated isles, and a much lighter (and shorter) take on the stubborn autonomous subsistence farmer than laxness’s independent people. 3/5

the white shroud, antanas škėma (tr from lithuanian by karla gruodis - english/claudia sinnig - german) a modernist, fragmented, nonlinear novel about a lithuanian poet gone into exile, now working as an elevator operator in a new york hotel, who is involved with a married woman but might also be terminally ill. in between the present timeline, the book flashes back (both in the character’s own writing and in third person) to his youth in lithuania, his torture at the hands of the soviet regime, his time at a DP camp in germany and so on. quite interesting, with some great writing. 3/5

things we lost in the fire, mariana enríquez (tr. from spanish by megan mcdowell) really good collection of horror-ish short stories that also touch on gendered violence, child abuse, poverty and argentinian history (esp. dictatorship and disappearances) - some stories are more overtly horror, with clear supernatural elements, others are more ambiguous. i don’t read (or watch) horror stuff so i’m a bad judge of how scary this is - i found it more gruesome and upsetting than terrifying, but the dread is strong in this one. favourites: adela’s house (hungry haunted house), end of term and the title story (women & self-inflictred violence), under the black water (the poisoned oil-choked river is very bad but maybe.... there’s something worse in there). good, vividly gruesome, sharp sharp sharp. 3.5/5

axiom’s end, lindsay ellis i really like lindsay ellis, of all the ~youtube video essayists~ she’s probably my favourite and this book a) has a cool premise - aliens + conspiracies + alien communication and b) a really cool cover, and it’s lindsay, so i was super excited for this one. and it would be unfair to say i was disappointed with it; it’s a fun first contact romp with really good pacing, cool aliens, on-brand lindsay ellis humour and some interesting ideas on communicating with someone who is truly alien and incomprehensible. it’s fine! i enjoyed it and will definitely read the sequel, it’s just... i was hoping it would be AMAZING, and it just wasn’t. no huge problems (except for a few lines i would have liked to take a red pen to), just.... it was fine. 3.5/5 

zeno’s conscience, italo svevo (tr. from italian by william weaver) imagine you’re a businessman in trieste who does a little unsuccessful writing on the side and one day you decide to take english lessons to improve your business opportunities with the uk and your english teacher is JAMES FUCKING JOYCE who tells you that you need to keep writing. incredible. anyway these are the autobiographical notes of one zeno cosini, a hapless hypochondriac smug self-delusional fool, who just cannot quite quit smoking, marries the one sister out of three he least desires, & works as an accountant (for the man who married his most-desired of said sisters) despite his rather tenuous grasp on bookkeeping. my favourite scene is when his future sister in law (2nd most desired) complains lightly about her difficulties with latin, he tells her that he believes latin is a man’s language and even roman ladies probably didn’t actually speak it, only for her to correct him on a latin quotation. i will say tho that this book is way to long to maintain the endearingness and often drags. 3/5 tfw u write for an audience of one but that one is james joyce so fair enough

der hund/der tunnel/die panne, friedrich dürrenmatt dürrenmatt (in addition to having a cool-ass name) really fucking slaps!  his stuff is really good, and often really really wild. these three stories are all weird & slightly existentially scary, two degrees left of reality, and just. so interesting! we have a man stalking a street preacher and his monstrous dog, a train going through a tunnel for way too long (and it is very scary), and a man becoming involved in a pretend-trial (or is it) and becoming convinced that he actually is a murderer (or is he, really?). anyway, dürrenmatt.... slaps. 4/5

wow, no thank you., samantha irby a mix of memoir and comedy blogpost and social critique blogpost about growing up poor & black, dating while fat, chronic illness, and settling down in rural america. it’s fine. i haven’t read irby’s previous collections so maybe i’m missing that emotional connection, but i thought it was mostly...okay?? not especially funny imo & i prefered the more serious chapters of which there weren’t enough. 2/5

they say in harlan county: an oral history, alessandro portelli really impressive oral history about life in harlan county, appalachia, focusing on the labor strikes and conflicts in the 30s and 40s, but really exploring life and politics in the region from the first non-native settlement there to today. really interesting, sometimes inspiring and often infuriating and probably worth reading if you’ve ever listened to which side are you on. 4/5

rashomon & other stories, ryunosuke akutagawa (tr. from japanese by jay rubin) fun fact: if you read the short story “rashomon” expecting to get the, y’know, rashomon effect, you won’t get it bc the film actually takes its plot from the story  “in a grove”. anyway this is an interesting collection of classic japanese short stories, many of which are actually about unreliable witnesses/narrators. i particularly enjoyed “in a grove” and the truly disturbing “hell screen”, but found this particular collection just a bit too long. 3/5

women without men, shahrnush parsipur (tr. from farsi by kamran talatoff & joceyln sharlet) a magical realist feminist novella about 5 women in iran who all try to liberate themselves from men in one way or another, more or less successfully (one of them turns into a tree, another becomes undead), until they end up in a semi-utopian garden together for a time. disturbing in its depiction oppression and sexual/gendered violence. i don’t really know how i feel about it, but it’s a really unique and interesting reading experience; very fraught and ambivalent in the end. 3.5/5

take a hint, dani brown, talia hibbert i think this is the first actual pure genre-romance book i’ve read... in years??possibly ever? idk. anyway this is mostly a pretty fun & sweet story about ambitious & emotionally constipated phd student dani brown and security guy with tragic past zaf ansari, who begin a fake relationship for Various Reasons (as you do) and both develop Real Feelings (as you do, predictably). it’s mostly really enjoyable but man i’m really not used to Romance writing & it’s a lot. in the end everyone is very genuine & earnest & emotionally honest which.... not to be even more emotionally repressed than dani but i cannot deal with that. anyway given that 2020 truly is the gift that keeps on giving this was a fun fluffy delight & i might  read more from the series. 3.5/5

this is how you lose the time war, amal el-mohtar & max gladstone two agents (red and blue) on opposing sides of a time war (the futuristic techy Agency vs the eco/organic Garden - neither of them is Good or Bad exactly) start writing letters as they hunt each other through the strands of time’s braid and eventually (inevitably) fall in love. really interesting concept of time travel and different timelines (if, like me, you conceptualise past as down and future as up, this will trip you up so much), very lyrical writing that sometimes toes the line to overwritten but mostly really works. 3.5/5

DNF: the madman of freedom square & the iraqi christ, hassan blasim (tr. from arabic by jonathan wright, german tr. by hartmut fähndrich) bindup of these two short story collections about iraq. these are incredibly brutal, depressing & horrifying stories about a country in a constant state of war & struggle. couldn’t bear it, probably not ever & certainly not right now. 

allegro pastell, leif randt (audio) this is brilliant, bitingly funny novel about a millenial couple, tanja & jerome, and their on-and-off long distance relationship. they are privileged (and half-aware of it), attractive, successful, very in touch with their own feelings (couldn’t be me), self-reflective, faintly ironic in everything bc sincerity might be cringe, and you will hate them. these are people who perform their feelings rather than feel them, dissect all their opinions and impulses to the point of both paralysis and narcissism, engage in constant navelgazing and cannot form any relationship that isn’t based in constant evaluation and judgment. they pride themselves on their nonconformity but are really the greatest conformists of all, and the most square, boring, spießig people under the veneer of their urban liberal drug-and-club lifestyle. had so much fun with it even as i was constantly cringing at these people. 4/5

[chickenswithsocks]

@klaproos​ tagged me in a post and correctly assumed that I AM amenable to memes, so here it goes!

rules: answer these question (it said 17 but there aren’t 17 lol) and tag.. ok im gonna change this to “tag whoever you want”

nickname: my irl friends call me by a shortened version of my name sometimes but mostly I don’t have a lot of nicknames anymore lol

zodiac sign: taurus, my birthday was recently!

height: 5′8 and a half″ or 174 cm for normal people

hogwarts house: aw man. Let’s cancel harry potter ok we all know jkr is trash and i never read or watched it so i have no nostalgic attachment to it

last thing i googled: "5'8" to cm”

song stuck in my head: the instrumental version of Alone by BAND-MAID because I’m learning it on the guitar

amount of sleep i get: I aim for 8+ hours! It works out most of the time

lucky numbers: this is silly imo

dream job: I hate working but if I have to pick one naturally I’d want to be the person who does all the illustrations for Hakodate Guide Hijikata. Preferably while living in Hokkaido too. best job ever

wearing:  big pants, my mikuexpo t-shirt, cardigan

instruments: play piano quite a bit, well, haven’t done so in a while but my skills are okay. Can strum along to songs and play some riffs on the electric and acoustic guitar random facts: I feel like this whole thing has been random facts about me so uhm, random fact about literally anything else?

Did you know that the concept of Bushido (the so-called "way of the samurai”) as it is presented in samurai movies and other popular Japanese inspired media is 1) total BS 2) made up for WESTERN audiences in 1900 by Inazo Nitobe, a Japanese man living in America at the time, who published a book in English where he compared the values of Japan's samurai class to Christian values in the hopes of changing the West’s perception of Japan, so if you ever see “the 7 virtues of Bushido” or something like that claiming it’s the code samurai have lived by for hundreds of years it’s basically just based largely on the Bible

aesthetic: I wouldn’t say its “my aesthetic” but Kiyoshi Saito’s “winter in Aizu” series comes to mind as something I find aesthetically pleasing and that has personal meaning to me

tagging: idk @filliteapot​ i guess

[witch-of-letters]

Our Work Is Never Done, Part II (Ezio Auditore x Reader)

Word Count: 5926 (It’s official: I can’t write short fics. My mind is filled with complex ideas and the simpler ones never see the light XD)

Author’s Note #1: So the story took a darker turn here (my mind is seriously obsessed with such themes, don’t blame me *hides behind the couch*), but I’ve finished it as best as I could, given that the inspiration for writing comes spontaneously. This part includes such themes as torture and sadism, which are discussed but not explicitly described (or maybe there’s like one such sentence, idk).

But please, do enjoy reading this chapter! I love writing for you all, mi amici!

Author’s Note #2: This work is purely fictional and is not meant to offend anyone. I do try to check my grammar and words (I use Grammarly and Google for those), but English is still not my first language, so I apologize in advance if you find any mistakes within the fic.

Italics - thoughts/emphasis/Italian

Bold Italics - places/Spanish

Feedback/constructive criticism/comments are much appreciated, as are reblogs!

Chapter I

(P.S. I know it’s Masyaf, but pretend it’s that fortress that will be mentioned in this story.)

  Somewhere in the Apennine mountains…

“Ha! I can’t believe we’ve caught them so easily! They call themselves ‘Master Assassins’?! Bah!” boasted one of the men. The other one with an eye-patch nodded his head in agreement.

“Indeed we have, amicomio! Let’s just hope that they won’t wake up earlier than planned…,“ he glanced at yours and Ezio’s bodies in the cart, one thrown across the other. The mercenaries didn’t care how you two were to be delivered. Both of you were alive and that was enough.

“Yes, let’s. I do have to admit though, this was quite a suicidal task for us, but it seems that Lady Luck kept us safe! I can already smell our reward!”

The other guy, Pietro, sent a scowl his way, “Don’t get ahead of yourself, Edric! We’re not there yet. Anything can happen on the road - bandits, thieves, templars that don’t know us, you name it.” It did not wipe the smile off of Edric’s face, however.

“Be more optimistic!”

“Meh,” was his response to his overly-enthusiastic partner, but then he continued, "Oh, and pray tell, why did Rodrigo decide to partner you up with me, hmm?! With such a brain of a cow, you’ll get nowhere in your life!”

“With an attitude like that, Lady Luck will no longer smile upon you!”

Pietro could feel the anger boiling inside of him. Who did that insolent bastard think he was?! A genius?! He could only picture how they’d face Rodrigo Borgia together. He would certainly introduce his boot to their asses if his brainless partner continued to babble like an over-excited five-year-old…

“Al diavolo with your Lady Luck! If you don’t shut up this instant, I won’t hesitate to throw you to the wolves down the road!” Pietro shouted in anger. Edric clamped his mouth shut in shock, averting his eyes from his companion to your unconscious bodies.

“Grazie a Dío for the silence!”

Their journey would be a long one indeed…

*****

“Ho there, Manfredo! Did you hear the news?!” a guard, no younger than 25 years, shouted to his friend, who was standing outside on the walls of Castello D'Agnano, a fortress in the middle of the mountains that was well-fortified and comparable to none.

He received a sarcastic snort in response, “What news? That Rodrigo Borgia’s big stomach has always been a fake one?! Ahahahahaha!,” he burst out laughing, making the other guard frown. Then his laughter stopped abruptly, “Don’t make me laugh, porcellino.”

“For one, stop calling me a ‘piggy’. My nose ain’t that flat and my nostrils ain’t that big! For two, no, you knucklehead! The news is not about the Grandmaster!”

“Then what about?”

Emril leans close conspiratorially, “It’s about Ezio Auditore and Y/L Y/L/N! They’ve finally been caught! Can you believe it?!”

“Huh? I certainly did not expect that, but it’s a good thing, I guess.”

“I thought you’d be more excited than that!” Emril huffed exasperatedly, clearly disappointed by his comrade’s response. To be so dismissive of the two notorious Master Assassins’ capture was…cold and appalling if one asked him. He wasn’t against the Assassins per se, finding them very skilled and intelligent, but boy, was he excited to hear that they would be held where he was stationed. If only he could get an audience with th-“

"Stand straight!” a stern and commanding voice was heard from behind them, the footsteps of its owner coming closer and closer. It was the Captain of the Guard, Ignacio Lavola, the cruellest and most sadistic bastardo Emril has ever seen. He hadn’t seen it for himself, but those that have, have told him of his torturing ways - how he preferred to flay the prisoners alive while interrogating them or use some of the outdated torture devices to prolong their pain and agony. He shuddered at the thought of seeing people, both men and women, suffer at his hands. If he ever got to children…no, he couldn’t continue that track of thought.

He had to try and keep his composure, but Ignacio’s presence alone made him stutter uncontrollably, “Y-yes s-sir!”

Ignacio eyed him like a hawk, his facial expression giving nothing away. Emril could not stare back at him, lest he peed in his own breeches out of sheer fear. Luckily, his stutter was ignored. ’Bastardo ’ he thought to himself.

“I expect you to keep a close eye on our newest prisoners. If you treat them like 'royalty’, talk more than a word to them, or let them out of your sight, expect… severe punishment,” Ignacio continued, emphasizing his last two words with a cold but intimidating stare. His brown eyes held a clear threat in them, and knowing the man, or of his reputation at least, Emril knew that he would go through with what he just told them. As much as he was excited to meet the notorious pair of assassini, he had to swallow that excitement and distance himself mentally as much as possible. He didn’t want to die. Not just yet.

“Ehi, you alright, amico mio? You look like you’ve just seen a ghost! Which was more like seeing Satan himself, but still…,” the worried voice of Manfredo interrupted his thoughts, bringing him back to the reality. Manfredo saw his friend losing that spark in his eye he had just a few moments prior, making him worry like a big brother would. 'Piggy’ or not, this was his comrade - his friend - and he’d be damned if he didn’t help him with whatever was on his mind.

Emril eyed the retreating form of Ignacio, boring daggers into him. Oh, how he wished that figlio di puttana to die the most painful of deaths…but alas, he knew that he would never be able to do so as he was too much of a coward, or that’s what he thought. There was no point in thinking about such dark things though, so he forcefully tried to shake off his thoughts.

Turning back to Manfredo, he spoke…or more like whispered his next words, “Sto bene.”

His friend wasn’t convinced in the slightest.

“No. No, you’re not,” he paused to look around them. When he didn’t see anyone, he continued, “Is this about the Captain?”

When Emril didn’t answer immediately, he sighed. While he didn’t have a problem with the Captain personally, he too knew of his supposed reputation, and he did not want to be in his line of sight when trouble happened. Ignacio Lavola was not a merciful man.

“Look, I don’t like him either, but we can’t do anything on our own! Trying anything will only get us killed!”

“But we don’t actually know that!” Emril retorted.

“And what would you have us do then, huh?! Coddle up to him and then stab him in the back like Brutus did Caesar?! We already have to lick his boots and you see where we are?! We’re still lowly guardsmen! It’s good enough that we’re both stationed here, on the walls! Why make it worse?!”

“Then what about those Master Assassins? They’re already being brought here! Knowing their skills and reputation, perhaps they can get us out of here!”

“And where exactly would they take us?”

“O-out of here! Somewhere! Anywhere! Anywhere better than this place!”

“Yeah…right.”

Emril huffed in frustration, “Stop being so sceptical for a change, va bene?! I’ve seen what they can do! They have it in them to escape this place! We only have to give them the opportunity…”

“And get ourselves killed in the process?! No. Fucking. Way.”

“Do you trust me?” Emril took Manfredo’s face in his young hands, making the man just a tiny bit uncomfortable.

Manfredo nodded.

“Then trust me when I tell you that we can do this! We play it smart, we get farther than anyone else ever has in here. Now, I’ll ask again - are you with me?”

Hesitating for just a moment, his friend agreed, “I am, amico. I am.”

“Then listen closely. First, we’ll have to see who guards the cells, and then…”

*****

Ignacio was back to pacing in his office. After seeing to it that all the guards were aware of the arrival of his future 'guests’, he went back inside to make some additional preparations. Namely, sharpening his various hooks and blades. After all, they would need to receive a 'warm and royal’ welcome befitting their station.

Capturing them was his idea and his alone. If Rodrigo got wind of that, he would be ecstatic, or so he thought. Technically, he wasn’t going against the Templars’ principles or disobeying his higher-ups’ orders. He was just doing what he thought was right - what would benefit them all.

Looking at the map of Europe on the wall, he thought of Antonio. He knew that the man was a weak link in their Order, preferring to ignore his numerous duties throughout the years (which had to be completed if one wanted to move higher up the ladder…and avoid getting executed). He met him only once, on a grand masquerade ball in France, securing yet another marriage between one of his cousins and some fool of a noble, who immediately fell for the pretty eyes and a big bust.

He remembered their last conversation quite clearly.

  Lyon, France, 1470

“My, what a pleasant surprise to see you here, mon amie!”  Antonio threw his arms around one of the nobles, who judging by their cheerful expression, was very much happy to see him.

  “Indeed, we haven’t seen each other for two years! Can you believe it?!” the nobleman paused, “Oh, it’s been just horrible without seeing you here!”

  Was that a blush creeping up Antonio’s cheeks? No, it must have been the heat of that place getting to him.

  “Well, I was very very busy. Making deals, investing, and-”

  “-partying, hmm?” the nobleman teased playfully.

  “Uh, well…yes. That’s not why I’m here though.”

  “Oh, I’m all ears.”

  “Forgive me for being blunt, but I’m here to find my cousin a suitable husband.”

  The nobleman raised his eyebrows, “Who?”

  Antonio gave him a meaningful look, making his friend raise his eyebrows into his hairline even further.

  “Oh. Oh! Now I get it! Pardon me, my friend, but I wasn’t expecting you to be so forward!”

  “One has to be a little forward to get on this life. Trust me, I’ve been mulling over this very conversation all week before arriving here.”

  “Hah, well…I don’t know about that. How does your cousin look like? What is her name?”  

  “Violetta, and she is standing right over there!” said Antonio while pointing to a woman in a yellow-green dress chatting with the other women.

  “She does look beautiful, but before you make me choose, please consider making another man her husband. I have a close friend here this evening and I’d very much like you to meet him.” He waved for Ignacio to approach them. He sure hoped that he wouldn’t be forced to endure another boring conversation about women, wine, and politics. He was far above those things.

“There you are, amie!  Antonio, this is my friend, Ignacio. Ignacio Lavola,” the nobleman gestured to the man beside them. A dark look passed Antonio’s eyes. That man…he knew him. He knew him through his reputation as a sinister sadist alone. A lot of templars trembled at the mere mention of his name… the Butcher of Souls.

  “A pleasure to meet you!” he forced the words out of his mouth. “Any friend of Christophe’s is a friend of mine!”

  “And mine as well…”

  They were ready to shake hands, and when they did, Ignacio squeezed Antonio’s hand just a little harder than necessary. The man recognized him. If he played his cards wrong, he’d be another one of his victims, he just knew that.

  Ignacio let a cold look pass over his present company, seemingly unbothered by the tense atmosphere between him and the lesser templar, “So, why I am here, Christophe?” Always blunt to the point.

  “Ah, but weren’t you standing there all bored just moments ago? Armaund’s new political ideas were clearly failing to keep you interested. You looked like you would fall asleep at any moment! I decided to save you from that.”

  “And for that, you have my sincerest thanks. I sense that there’s more to it though.”

  “And you are right about that! The thing is, Antonio is looking for a good husband to his cousin, Violetta. I told him to speak with you before deciding. After all, you’re not married too!” 'But clearly not a good man,’ Antonio thought to himself.

  Ignacio was undeterred by his 'friend’s’ request. He wasn’t looking for marriage. He wasn’t looking for love at all, but the least he could do was amuse him. And make Antonio squirm a little in the process.

“Ah, yes. Violetta. That woman in yellow, oui?”

  Christophe answered before Antonio could speak another word, “Right you are! She is very beautiful, isn’t she?”

  “She is. Though I…fail to understand what makes her so special. Besides being Antonio’s cousin, that is.”

“Care to elaborate on that, amie?”   Christophe looked over at pale-faced Antonio, not noticing how rigidly the man was standing. He was a good man, but oblivious to many things (such as Violetta’s jealous personality Antonio 'forgot’ to mention).

“I-I…,” the breath was stuck in Antonio’s throat. Why did he lose his confidence all of a sudden? Why couldn’t he utter a single word out of his mouth? Was it because of Ignacio? Was his presence that scary to him? The thoughts were rushing in his head like the busy cardinals when choosing a new Pope, and his heart was beating a hummingbird flaps its wings. All that insecurity about being a 'bad’ templar came forth as though something popped open a cork on that 'closed jar’ (or someone more like). And it was eating him alive.

  “Is something wrong?” Ignacio asked him, still as stone-faced as before.

  Antonio tried to muster up his courage again, praying that his voice wouldn’t betray his nervousness. He could also feel his eye wanting to twitch, so he blinked a couple of times to keep it under control.

Taking a deep breath he spoke, “No, I suppose nothing is wrong with you wanting to know about her. She is not as special as the queen of  Spagna  perhaps, but her impeccable skills with musical instruments and a talent for sewing make up for it, signori.”

  “And what else?”

  “Well…she does have a bit of a mean streak, but it doesn’t necessarily make her a nasty person…”

  “Hmm, you are honest, at the very least. Though I would not take such a woman for myself, she would still suit you all the same, Ignacio. You share a trait, however bad one, but that should bring you closer to each other, no?”

  “Yes-”

  “Now, let me go and announce the opening of the Grand Ball! The ladies are itching to dance!” declared Christophe and then left the pair in a hurry, seemingly excited to officially start the event. Antonio and Ignacio were finally alone (despite being surrounded by the crowd of people).

  “So what is a pathetic little worm like you doing in this place? Cementing another useless alliance, hm?”

Antonio bristled at his tone, his nostrils flaring, but he tried to reign in his anger so as not to cause a scandal, “You think you are smart,  ehi?!  My scheming with marriages may not bring much to our cause, but having hands in important people’s pockets brings something to mine.”

  Ignacio smirked in amusement, “And what might that cause be, exactly?”

“I…,” Antonio couldn’t find the right words, instead he huffed like a petulant child, “You know what?! Fottiti te e il tuoculo compiaciuto! (Fuck you and your smug ass!)”

  The man before Antonio chuckled lowly, taking his insult in stride. To anyone else, he looked like he was about to faint from the stifling heat, being all red in the face, but Ignacio knew that he was actually silently fuming at him, looking like he’d burst at any moment. Oh, how he enjoyed seeing them all get angry like that because of him. It made him feel the power he had over them - that he could manipulate their emotions just as easily as he could peel the skin off of his victims with a sharpened blade. They were like putty in his hands.

He placed his heavy hand on the templar’s shoulder, keeping him in place. Leaning in, he whispered in Antonio’s ear, “If you think the Grand Master won’t hear about you being lazy and far too selfish for your own good, I’m afraid you’re mistaken, amico. If nothing else, your tiny ass will still be served on a silver platter to me, one way or another.” With that, Ignacio left Antonio alone, but the man was once again trembling in his boots, his heart imbued with the fear of him, and the desperation to leave that place as soon as possible. Antonio would not stop fearing him until his own death.

Even after so many years, he still thought that the conversation between him and the tiny templar could not have gone any better. Before sending the hired mercenaries to capture the assassins, he mentioned (rather offhandedly) that he would pay them more if they took care of him as well. For once, he didn’t care enough to kill the man himself, letting someone else do the honours (frankly, the years have taken its toll on him and he wasn’t exactly in the mood to play the game of 'cat and mouse’). Thankfully, no one would miss Antonio - not even his numerous cousins.

Sitting back in his leather chair, he proceeded with polishing his knives, wanting the assassins to see their own reflections in it. He would have a good time carving them up…

  Two days later…

Your head felt so heavy that you thought it was filled with lead. Not only that, but the pain could not be more unbearable than what you were currently experiencing. Like someone had a knife stuck in your skull. Your temples were throbbing, your ears were ringing, and your mouth was as dry as a desert. All in all, you felt miserable.

Next to you, Ezio was sitting up against the wall, looking at anything but you. When you made a hissing sound, however, you knew you had his attention.

He didn’t spring up when he heard it (since he was still very tired after such a long ride), but his eyes were filled with concern for you. He spoke to you as quietly and as gently as possible, “Y/N! How do you feel?!”

You couldn’t look him in the eye due to the pain you were in, but you still answered, just as quietly, “Miserable. Tan miserable. You sure there’s no knife or an axe stuck in my head?”

He looked very confused at your question, not recognizing the joke, “What axe?! What are you talking about?!”

“Ah, just forget it. It was a poor attempt at a joke anyway,” you moaned in pain, putting your head between your legs. That action did not relieve it, however.

“We need to get out of here, wherever 'here’ is!”

You looked around yourself with tired eyes, seeing how dirty and damp the cell was. A rat hole near Ezio. And was that a big spider in one corner on the ceiling? The place was truly awful but despite the aforementioned conditions, you thankfully had enough space to move around if need be. Being cramped up in a tiny space (even if it was with Ezio), did not sound like a good idea, or rather like a comfortable one.

Your current wish was to get rid of the headache. Whoever dropped something heavy on your head should better be running away from there or else you’d stick one of your hidden-blades in theirs.

Ezio didn’t look any better. His hair was dishevelled, his eyes were tired but angry, and both of you were stripped off of your assassin robes and weapons. What a  great situation that was!

Sitting up a little, you inquired, “Do you know…who dropped us in here? I could have sworn I heard male voices talking at some point, or was it just a dream?”

Ezio nodded, “Si. I didn’t see their faces but I saw their clothes. They were mercenari.”

“Ugh! Wish we knew who hired them to do this! It’s like they were actually waiting for us in Basilica!”

“Templars.”

“W-what?!”

“It was the Templars. Turn around and you’ll see the banners with a red cross on them.”

Indeed, when you peeked over your shoulder through the iron bars, you saw what Ezio was talking about. The white banners with the infamous red cross. The true mark of any Templar stronghold.

“So we’ve gotten ourselves into one of the worst situations that could ever happen? ¡Mierda!” you swore under your breath. How could they have captured you both so easily? How could you not see the mercenaries? You thought back to it, trying to make sense of all the things that had occurred within the church.

For one, when you asked the girl to hand you some clothes, you saw a sorrowful look pass over her face, but it was a momentary one so you did not pay it any more attention. For two, the servants’ quarters were completely empty as though everyone was suddenly forced to leave. And last, when the mass had gone for some time and you decided that you couldn’t wait any longer, you spotted not one soul roaming the halls. The moment you went through all these memories, it finally clicked.

“Ezio, they knew we were coming. It was an ambush.”

He looked up at you, waiting for an explanation.

“Did you see the girl’s face when she looked at me? It displayed her sorrow over something, as though she was apologizing for something we didn’t know.”

“No. No, I didn’t. What about it?”

You continued, “She lead us through the servants’ quarters, but did you see how empty they were? Like everyone completely vanished? The mercenaries were already there, so by forcing them to leave, they ensured to no one would call for help…or see what they were planning to do. And then there were no priests in the halls because most of them were templars themselves, so they most likely decided not to interfere.”

“Most of the priests?”

“Ezio, it’s been a long known fact that templars take the positions of power, whether small or big, to ensure that no one would be suspicious of them. They smile in public but sneer behind the closed doors. And think about it, who would believe that a mere priest would order the deaths of people behind their backs?”

He should not have asked such a stupid and irrelevant question, but the worry for you both clouded his mind. He wanted to get you and himself out of that place and find your way back to Monteriggioni. He only hoped that Claudia wouldn’t throw a fit at hearing about your capture.

Before he could say another word, he heard numerous pairs of footsteps approaching. You perked up at the sound as well, lifting your head and straightening your posture. Ezio scooted over to you, and you gladly took his hand in yours - both for comfort and reassurance. Whoever approached you, you would face them together.

Unfortunately, it was a group of well-armed guards who judging by their faces, did not want to deal with any potential acts of defiance. The one without a helmet stepped closer to the metal door.

“Our Captain has requested your presence,” he pointed his gloved finger at you.

“Me? Why?” you asked, but then caught yourself and tried to ask something else, “Wait! Before you answer my previous questions, tell me what’s his name first!”

“Maestro Ignacio Lavola…commonly known as The Butcher of Souls, madonna Y/L/N,” he answered calmly.

“And how do you know my name?”

“You are not as inconspicuous as you think you are,” the guard eyed you and Ezio, his eyes carrying nothing but contempt in them. “All Templars in Italia know of you both.”

“So what will be done to us? Do we get to see a rope around our necks or do we get a chance to be purified by fire?” your voice was dripping with sarcasm, and Ezio gave you a warning look, already fearing what your fiery persona would do if unleashed.

Instead of answering, the guard gave a tiny nod to his comrades, who proceeded to lift your weak-from-exhaustion frame up. You decided not to fight them, knowing how futile it currently was to try and escape with a headache and tired muscles. You pointedly looked at Ezio, willing him to not do anything stupid. He clenched his jaw in anger but then looked at you sadly, not wanting for you to go. It wasn’t an ideal plan, but perhaps you could learn more from the Captain himself (praying all the while that you wouldn’t see his sadistic side).

Ezio was now all alone.

*****

The room you were brought into was lit by a large fire roaring within the fireplace, the orange tongues dancing in the air. Before the guards left, you were tied to a chair - so tightly that it actually hurt. You cursed yourself for drinking too much one night and then boasting to everyone about how you could escape any confinement like a professional. Damn Mario’s sweet wine to oblivion!

“Ahhh, I see you’re already wiggling about, my dear?” That voice, that smooth fucking voice laced with amusement, echoed from behind you, each word sounding clearer as Ignacio walked in.

“What exactly do you want from me?”

“Nothing exciting from you. Well…only your death,” he explained. “A prolonged one…,” he added darkly.

“Do your worst,” you retorted.

Ignacio smiled, showing his pearly-whites, “As you wish!” and just as he said that, he stabbed your thigh with a stiletto, that went through the limb like a knife through butter. You screamed loudly in pain, unknowingly making the guards shiver on the other side of the wooden door.

Ezio woke up from his little slumber with a start after hearing a feminine scream echo off of the limestone walls. He knew it was you up there. His heart clenched with worry at listening to your agony, making him stand up and rattle the metal door with a death-grip. Any second wasted in that cell, was bringing you closer to your end, and he’d be damned if he let that happen. Not before he told you he loved you…

“Hey, Ezio! You there?!” a boyish voice startled him out of his thoughts, confusion summoning a frown on his face.

“Who is that?! Come out from the shadows!”

“Not so loud, please! We don’t have long until the other guards come back, messere!” Emril stepped from behind the corner, holding a ring of keys in his hand.

“Who are you?”

“Your chance to be rescued. You have to promise me something though…”

Ezio was not in the mood for playing games, but for your sake, he was willing to hear the young man out, “What?”

Emril looked at the other man, now visible to Ezio, before turning his attention back to him, “You and your lover get out and take us with you. We want to leave this godforsaken place behind and start a new life!”

“But she’s not my lo-”

“Whatever! Do we have a deal?”

“I don’t like how suspicious it seems, but I won’t turn down your help.”

“Eccellente!” With a gleeful expression (reminding Manfredo how idiotic his friend could be), Emril opened up the cell door, letting the Master Assassin out.

Manfredo approached him with a pile of robes in one hand, and Altaïr’s Armour hanging off of his other. Changing as quickly he could, he was ready to leave that place behind, but not before rescuing you from Lavola.

“We have to hurry! Y/N’s life is at stake!” Ezio’s voice trembled with worry. His romantic feelings aside, he was desperate to have you back in his arms again, consequences be damned.

Thankfully and somewhat unexpectedly, the guards were all gone. Not one was in their vicinity. He looked at the pair of the now former guardsmen, and asked quietly and lowly, “Where is the Captain’s room?”

“Further ahead,” answered Emril, “it’s at the end of the hall to the right. You won’t miss it.” But before Ezio could take another step, Emril put a shaky hand on his shoulder, not wanting to anger the Master Assassin even more.

“Wait! What should we do?”

“Find ourselves some horses.”

“Will do! Be careful!”

“I will.”

*****

The moment Ezio stepped inside the room, he wanted to throw up at the sight before him. You were still bound to the wooden chair, but instead of seeing you well and awake, he only saw what the sadistic bastard had done to you.

Your body had suffered from multiple stab wounds, blood still seeping from some of them. One arm was completely covered with bruises, and all of your fingernails were removed. The sight was truly awful, but he couldn’t turn his gaze away.

Approaching your form, he brushed aside your hair had that was obscuring your face. It was completely bruised, just like your arm, but with additional cuts across your nose and left eye (which was thankfully left intact). At that very moment, Ezio wished you that you never were an assassin. That way, you would not have had a target on your back.  'But then I’d be left defenceless, ’ your voice echoed in his mind, reminding him that his wish was a selfish one, however he wanted it to be otherwise.

“A p-pretty s-sight, isn’t s-she?” a man’s voice gurgled behind him, making him turn around in surprise. It was Ignacio, lying in a pool of his own blood, that came from his crotch and gut. Following his line of sight, Ignacio weakly chuckled.

“That bitch m-managed to stab me w-where it hurts m-most. W-with a hidden-blade in her b-boot. I must say t-though, that was very clever of her.”

Ezio kept silent.

“Never knew I w-would go out like t-that. Still, I’ve m-made my peace with it.”

Now it was Ezio’s turn to speak. His voice was sharp and menacing, “You don’t deserve peace, you bastardo! Only your victims do!”

“Do you r-really t-think all the men and w-women I killed were innocent?! They were all bastards! Just. L-like. M-me,” with the last word spoken, he gurgled up more blood, his arms twitching for a moment and then falling beside him completely still. The Butcher was finally dead, though Ezio wished he could kill him with his own two hands.

Returning back to you, he untied you from the chair and picked you up bridal style, before leaving the castle. Outside in the courtyard, however, he was met with the man that took you out from your shared cell. He was looking at Ezio with a stoically.

“I am glad he’s dead. You have finally put an end to him.”

“Not me,” he looked at you. “It was her.”

“Doesn’t matter. He will never bother anyone again and that is enough for me. Rodrigo has wanted to get rid of him for a long time now anyway.”

“Then do send him my regards.”

“I will, Ezio Auditore. Today, you may leave. No man shall lift a blade against you. Let us leave the fighting for another day.”

Ezio couldn’t agree more. He did not want to shed any more blood - not with you in his arms.

And so he went outside the gates, spotting a wagon with horses waiting for you both. Emril and Manfredo were smiling at him.

“Let’s get you both home, shall we?”

Ezio nodded, and then carefully laid your body on the wagon with hay, before climbing up himself. The road home was a long one, but he would survive the wait, all the while keeping an eye on you and finding a doctor to sew shut your wounds in the nearest town or village.

  A week later…  

“Gah!” you suddenly shot up from the bed, clutching your side and breathing like you’ve been running several miles.

Noticing that you were awake, Ezio stood up from the windowsill and quickly approached you.

“Easy, Y/N! Easy…You’re still wounded, amore.”

“What?! Where am I?!”

“We’re back at the Villa Auditore. We got out of the castle.”

Memories rushed back to you - Ignacio. Him stabbing you. You stabbing him back. Then falling into oblivion.

Tentatively, you reached for Ezio’s rough hand. He readily placed it in yours.

“How did we get out of there? Who rescued us?”

“Manfredo and Emril. They were the guardsmen there, but had a change of heart and wanted to leave, just like us.”

“Then I suppose I should thank them later, if they’re still here, that is.”

“They are, and you will have an opportunity to do that later. I promise,” he spoke gently, but you saw that he wanted to say something more. There was that certain spark in his eyes, certain emotion, that made him seem like he was out of this world. And in a way, he was.

“Ezio, what is it? Stai bene (Are you alright)?”

“I…I almost lost you in there, Y/N. You were bleeding so profusely that I thought you would die in my arms that night…,” he answered quietly, the sadness creeping onto his face. You wanted to reassure him that you were still alive, but he placed a finger against your lips to keep you silent.

“I thought I would never tell you that I loved you before you died. That I would never have you in my arms again. You never really reciprocated my attempts at flirting, so I decided to use another approach - to just be there for you, and hope against hope that you would love me back.”

You gasped at the revelation, your thoughts racing in your head. So that’s why he ceased flirting with you incessantly. You thought that he was no longer interested in you.

“So I must ask you - is there a chance for us to be together?”

You squeezed his hand and looked him in the eye, letting your other one touch his face, “Of course there is, Ezio. I was afraid you didn’t like me that way. Sure, you flirted, but when you suddenly stopped doing that, it seemed like you lost all interest in me.

Ezio looked at you, shocked to the core. You loved him back. You. Loved. Him. Back! If he were a five-year-old, he would jump with glee, but instead, he embraced you, being mindful of your injuries.

You hugged him back, inhaling his scent. He smelt of fresh linens, roses, and of his own musk - that always drove you crazy.

”Te amo,“ you whispered.

”Ti amo anch'io, Y/N.“

After a moment, Ezio broke out of your embrace and immediately pressed his lips to yours - thus making a statement to the world (to his friends, family, enemies, and other women who would surely become jealous) that from now on, you and himwould never be separate souls again.

*****

"You know, our work is still not done, and I doubt it ever will.”

“Then let us do our best.”

You hummed in agreement, “Sí, let us.”

Tagging: @sassenach-on-the-rocks // @teacokememes // @bangtansugababy // @deejayers // @stardustvader // @marvelassassin221b // @iceboundstar // @tarjanisfrye // @one-who-hunts-eagles // @assassins-and-hidden-blades // @storminwomanform // @marshmallow–3 // @ourfallenwinter // @cath-with-a-c // @mavriarch // @mindadarksight // @kisstheassassins // @missdrake // @theswordofeden // @mariana-jones // @rls905 // @rinkydinkdagger // @sumayofficial // @lefrenchfrye // @unreadpoppy // @ass-sass-sin-o

[obiternihili]

20 Questions

Tagged by @frislander

Rules: answer 20 questions and then tag 20 bloggers you want to get to know better

Name: no

Nickname(s): many

Zodiac Sign: wood dog goat thing

Height: taller than every woman, shorter than every man apparently

Languages spoken: American English. At one point I might have been B2ish in German and Mexican Spanish but both have fallen away from me due to lack of practice, the latter like immediately, the former more slowly. I’m like A1ish but non-0 in a ton of things because language nerd/duolingo and clones.

Nationality: Central Californian. don’t see myself as having anything to do with la, san fran, or sacramento and don’t really feel connected to being an american, although it’d be ridiculous to say that being american doesn’t characterize being from central california.

Favourite season: Rainy

Favourite flower: I don’t know. I like vivid, fleshy petals, and I think I prefer fewer over many. Roses are kind of over doing it, but apple flowers are nice, as are lotus flowers, peach, potato, cherry. Animal crossing seems to have taught me i like pansies which is a weird thing to type out loud. Blue lotus might be my favorite, idk.

Favourite scent: waterfall

Favourite colour: I like reds. I liked crimson but I wore it for too long as a kid and everyone called me retarded so now I have weird sense of tension with colors in general, I guess. So I tend to wear or get things in only black. I don’t really like being a flag gay but the bi flag colors are pretty nice too.

Favourite animal: cats probably

Favourite fictional character: at this point, no clue. Most of the fiction I like has archetypes, not characters - e.g. there really isn’t much of a story to most video games, even ones with stories, like breath of wild, no one had an arc. Even for something like MM where characters did have arcs and such I came to realize most of what I liked about the characters was headcanon or projecting myself because of the nature of the silent protagonist. Usually when there is a good story the character’s flaws are pretty strong. That’s a good thing, like, Night in the Woods wouldn’t be what it is if Mae wasn’t how she was. It’s hard to like characters you like because at some level you kind of hate them. Flawed characters service the story connecting to the audience by making them somewhat more relatable, but at the same time the very act of making them relatable can be alienating because you’re making them someone else. Like even in movies and stuff at some point I realized I liked Brechtian stories more than non-Brechtian stories. That and I’m annoyed at how two dimensional most characters in fiction feel; alien characters at least obscure that two dimensionality by not making it that apparent what dimensions they’re made of. Almost everything I watch or consume now is i guess non-fiction. Mostly science lectures or colloquia actually, but also speedruns, let’s plays, randos, reviews, whatever the jimquisition is.

Coffee, tea or hot chocolate: Tea, strong, cold, just tea, no lemon, no sugar. I like most actual teas and drink too much of a brand called tejava, which is awful in plastic but pretty good in glass. I drink mostly black but I like whites, blacks, oolong, the fermented teas, and green in roughly that order. something like a thai tea now and then is fine as a dessert, the oolong or fermented tea types i tend to want in contexts where a wine of glass would be good

Average sleep hours: there is no pattern and hasn’t really been since i was 8

Dog or cat person?: Cat by far, but not sure I’m capable of taking care of one by myself. Nothing against dogs, especially smart dogs like chows, grew up with them - but cats just, idk, maybe I have a strong toxoplasma gondii infection.

Number of blankets you sleep with: 0 - it can get up to 90°F at night here, although it’s usually around 60°F in the winter. I’m the kind of person who’s always hot though.

Dream trip?: I kind of want to live in Germany, although my German is trash now, and I’m in the middle of getting an education in a place where you can’t speak it. That probably doesn’t count as a trip. Because of my interest in Afroasiatic languages and Egyptian especially I’d like a winter trip to Egypt, and wouldn’t be against other places with that level of archeological interest. But most of the world is hell right now. Taiwan might be nice for a modern look at a modern society. Rome would be nice for a lot of reasons. Mexico City might be nice. Japan would be nice but I feel like I’d be seen like a weeb first and not wanting to come off like that gets in the way of enjoying a lot of things already as it is. that’s a bad reason. Ethiopia kind of interests me, looks pretty.

Blog established?: fuck if i know. 2014ish? I think when twitter rationalists decided to move to tumblr primarily.

Followers: 364 that intersects with the 46 or so of my ling alt

Random fact: Theia might have originated beyond the snow line if not in the early kuiper belt in the early solar system before Jupiter’s grand track dumped it into Earth’s lagrangian. This was recently argued because apparently the isotope ratios of oxygen in our water matches outer solar system bodies more than inner. In which case our water comes from that.

i tag whomeever reads this and wants to do it

[pekorosu]

a summary of the banana fish bits from the yoshida akimi + gackt interview in this malice mizer book (1998). i don’t think there’s a complete english t/l out there yet (please correct if i’m wrong) but there is a chinese one, so do check it out if you’re interested (thanks @vashak for the link!)

- Gackt once claimed to have read the series more than a hundred times and that he would love to meet the author. His wish finally came true and the meet-up took place at Yoshida’s home.

- Why was Gackt drawn to the series at first? Because of the art, especially the eyes.

- He has the tendency to go into different character POVs as he’s reading a story. For BF, he started out with Ash’s POV, then Eiji’s, and so on. He did it even for characters who die almost immediately, so once that happened he would go back to the beginning and start reading again from a different POV, repeating it until he’s done with all the charas.

- Yoshida says that she’s interested in how male readers view the story, because after all, it is a woman’s fantasy. She wonders if it’s hard for them to get into the story. Gackt says that he got really into it though. Yoshida concedes that there are men out there who like the series, but it is still a shoujo manga and the magazine it’s published in is also for girls, so she has never once thought about a male audience as she was drawing it. That’s why she’s curious about how it’s being read by them.

- Someone told Gackt about the manga, which is how he found out about it. He really liked the art style and the convos, and from then on, it felt like he got sucked into her world and couldn’t get out.

- For some reason, he also thinks that their collarbones are nice…? He talks about how the characters wear T-shirts and how the collarbones would just casually peek out and he thinks it’s nice. Yoshida’s like, huh, that’s a first. Lol. She also mentions that she’s not really the type to be particularly fussy about her art.

- Gackt asks what inspired her to want to draw BF. Yoshida says that during her college years, her generation was exposed to and was heavily influenced by drug culture, so everyone around her including herself was quite knowledgeable about the topic. And as she was reading all sorts of books on it, she came across something that mentioned that the CIA planned to use drugs for mind control and that apparently the Soviet Union had something similar in mind as well. She thought that was interesting. She also talks about how there are many weapons of war in this world, the main three being: nuclear weapons, food supply and oil... with drugs being said to be the fourth. Thinking about it now, that’s probably where the idea for the story was conceived.

- Editor(?) asks if she wasn’t just bringing in dramatic elements for the sake of creating more hurdles for Ash? Yoshida agrees that there was that too.

- Yoshida also talks about how she initially wanted to portray the main character as a more lively boy, since the ones she drew in the past were all kinda gloomy. She was aiming for something more positive or more shounen manga-esque, but it didn’t turn out that way in the end lol.

- Gackt says he was intrigued by certain words that came up in the series too. When he got to the word “Aslan,” a lot of stories started springing up inside him. At the same time, he got an inspiration for a song. That was when he came up with “Asrun Dream.” He didn’t know how to spell the word, so he had to do some research.

- Yoshida says that she doesn’t think the way he pronounced it is right… she thinks it’s supposed to sound more complicated? She talks about how she took French as a foreign language module in college, and she learned things like how the “h” is silent. For example, you’d pronounce hotel like “otel.” Anyway she thinks that there might be something like that as well when it comes to “Aslan.”

- Gackt asks about her readers’ reactions. Yoshida says that the most common one among girls is that they often identify with Eiji. They want to be Eiji, and they want to save Ash. And upon reaching the end, there was a lot of “Please don’t kill him.”

- Gackt asks if she’s thought of writing a whole story about Eiji and Sing after Ash’s death. Yoshida says that that story (GoL i guess) was supposed to be much longer... about how the two of them are going through life in present-day New York. But because of page restrictions and stuff when it came to compiling it into a volume, it had to be cut short. She says that the original story on its own was as long as an entire volume.

- Gackt says that he’s mentioned liking BF in a newsletter to his fanclub and that he’s drawn a portrait (of Ash? idk). Yoshida asks to see it and he’s like “sure” lol

- Editor says that BF feels very much like an American movie. Yoshida mentions that she had given the rights for a movie adaptation to Sakamoto Ryuichi, but for various reasons it ended up not happening. “Plus, River is no longer here too.” It was something like that.

- Gackt is asked if there’s any character he wants to play, and he says Shorter. Editor asks if that means he’s willing to cut his hair. Gackt says he would; he’d turn it into a mohawk, and then he’d shave it so that he can say this line in the movie: “I’m growing it out!”

- He also mentions wanting to play Arthur. Yoshida says that role might suit him better… the sad young man from the gloomy villains’ side. (t/l note: /raises eyebrow at “sad young man”)

- Initially, Gackt thought that he could do Ash or Arthur. But he felt that Shorter would be the toughest to play, so that’s why he prefers Shorter. Especially his final scene where he says, “Kill me.” What kind of expression should he make for that? A smile would be the toughest, wouldn’t it? And Shorter smiles a lot. Just what kind of feelings would there be behind that smile?

- Yoshida says she feels honored as a mangaka to know that he reads that deeply. Usually, she disappoints people because she always ends up saying “I never thought that far.” Editor says, but that means you’re writing it subconsciously right? Yoshida says well, I guess so.

- Editor says that, with such passion for the series, Gackt would be able to come up with a soundtrack or an image album, wouldn’t he? Gackt says yes, and that he’s come up with so many songs as he was reading the series. 

- He talks about how “Asrun Dream” has its own story behind it. Ash wakes up in the morning while Eiji is still asleep in bed, and he goes to lean against the window, looking out. That’s the scene inside him that evoked the song. Yoshida says that she would like to listen to it. Gackt says that it’s not released publicly and no one knows about it, but he still has it as an old song.

- Editor says that he should release it as a solo album, with the jacket art done by Yoshida. Yoshida’s like, wait what’s going on? lol. Gackt says of course, when the time comes he will request for it. If she refuses, he would do a dogeza all the way ‘til morning. Everyone laughs. He’s like, I’ll even quit my job. And she says that she feels the pressure mounting now lol.

- Gackt says that he’s always wanted to write down all the songs that come to him as he’s reading a story, and then compile them into an album bundled with a little book, like “please listen to this while you’re reading the book.” If there’s a chance, he’d definitely like to try it out. He says that he would always be waiting for that chance until the day he dies.

here’s a pic of her workspace: