#i know that’s not how electricity works

[yayll]

~ a little something about Dazai surprising you on your day off ~

Dazai's not by any means an early riser... That is unless he gets to see you that day.

It's 8 AM and he's tapping his fingers against his pant leg lightly, but he's actually really anxious and impatient. He’s waiting for you to open the front door and flash him that life changing smile of yours he’s been coveting for all week. Today’s your day off and he's decided to come over and spend the day with you so he can cherish every single moment, totally not because he’s slacking off work and wants to do the only other thing he does with his life other than avoid his responsibilities: Be the bane of your existence. You also have a nasty little habit of being a workaholic and he's here to break that once and for all. He's completely spaced out now, lips pursed and brows slightly furrowed in thought when suddenly-

You finally open the door. His angel, his everything. He immediately switches his whole demeanor, eyes twinkling as he scans your figure. You’re still in pajamas, and your hair looks messy. You look absolutely delectable for someone who just woke up to 3 missed calls and 10 texts. Dazai smirks as he leans in, wiggling his brows in an exaggerated manner.

"Well look who’s finally awake! What a sleepy little thing you are. Makes me jealous of that stupid bed of yours… Did you get my texts? Come here"

He looms over you in the middle of the doorway, kissing you softly, tenderly and hungrily.

You blink, and before you can catch your bearings you’re interrupted by the softness of his eager lips. If your mouth opens, he’s pouncing. After a few moments of uninterrupted bliss, you pull back, eyes still drowsy and breathing a bit shallow. You yawn, running your fingers through your bedhead.

“Sorry. I, um… was still asleep until now. I was trying to sleep in-”

He gasps, and tilts his head, as if baffled by this.

“Now why would you do that when we have plans today?”

“... We don’t, though?”

Dazai laughs, dismissing your rightful confusion. He knows you guys never discussed plans, he just doesn't care. He lightly pinches your nose in between his fingers.

“We do! It’s why I let you sleep in for a few extra hours before coming over.”

You lazily swat at him, crinkling your nose. He’s swooning! Dazai feels a jolt of electricity through his body upon seeing the way you respond to his doting. Making you flustered is his favorite entertainment, besides suicide of course.

“But it’s 8 AM.”

“Exactly! That’s like half the day."

"... How long have you been up for?”

He rolls his eyes affectionately as he buffs his knuckles on his tan coat, replying with a nonchalant hum.

“Hmm, not important— What’s for breakfast?”

He lets himself into your apartment and you sigh into a defeated smile that somehow still holds affection for this ridiculous man. You follow him as he strides to the kitchen and fold your arms across your chest.

“You know, I’m kinda grumpy right now. It’s too early, Osamu. I need my sleep."

“And might I say you look absolutely stunning when you’re grumpy? How ever did I get this lucky…”

“Keep it up and I’ll get even worse, you goofball.”

Dazai smiles, it’s sly and dangerous. A challenge, he hears? He pretends to think for a moment, his finger placed on his lips as if really contemplating something. He’s just picturing what you’d look like yelling at him. Heavenly, of course. He flashes you a tender smile as if you just said the most romantic thing and curls his arm around your waist, whispering.

“Ooh, then I can’t wait to see worse.~”

You roll your eyes, unable to help the pink hue spreading over your face. Maybe you're still half asleep, maybe you’re just hopelessly in love with him. Either way you’re screwed. You whine with a hint of annoyance.

“Osamuuuu…”

Oh how he loves when you say his name like that. Maybe it’s time for you two to skip breakfast, he already does anyway, but he knows you actually need nutrients to function. He replies in a singsong voice.

“Yeeesss?”

“I’m making pancakes and you are going to sit down and wait.”

You point at the kitchen counter trying to be stern, and of course, failing miserably.

He looks back at the stool and then back at you. He leans within inches of your face, his nose poking yours. He clicks his tongue disapprovingly and winks.

“No can do, cutie~”

You two spend the morning making breakfast, or at least trying to. YOU are trying to, anyway. Everytime you go to gather ingredients, he’s already handing them to you. When your back is turned to him, you feel his arms snaking around you as you flip pancakes unevenly due to the distracting trail of kisses he's leaving down your neck. You secretly smile to yourself whenever you’re not feigning irritation, you know he loves the banter… Why not indulge the poor man?

You serve two plates and sit down, along with two mugs of coffee. Dazai isn’t allowed to have caffeine around you, but once again, you took pity on him today for some reason… or is it his mystifying persuasion manipulation at play here? He takes a sip of his mug and a satisfying ‘Ahh’ releases soon after. He flickers his eyes towards you as you're about to sip yours as well, and it’s like the world stops. His pupils dilate and he watches intently as the rim reaches your lips, resting his chin on his palm as he leans lazily over the counter. He’s like a dog watching its owner adoringly. During his trance-like state, he thinks about how if you lived together this would be his every day routine. He could get used to watching you drink coffee and eat food. You'd wake up next to each other and hold hands as you watch the sun rise. He would tell you how breathtaking you look with bedhead and make you late for work after failing to keep his hands to himself. Maybe then you wouldn't think he's such an impenetrable wall of secrets. He wonders if there's a future where all of that happens... He snaps out of it, and murmurs.

“Can I have a taste?”

You perk up and look over, tilting your head to the side, amused.

“What, the coffee? You have your own.”

He’s so focused now, staring at your full lips, thinking of a proper answer. He wants to tell you that he's never had intimate moments like these with anyone else and he doesn’t know how long it’ll last before his luck with you runs out, that he’s afraid you’ll see right through his one dimensional facade and leave him for good. That you won’t follow him to his untimely demise should he ever fall, so he has to capture every second of it so he can keep you in his mind forever. He has to lock you up in his heart and throw away the key, otherwise becoming a man of virtue loses all its meaning.

Instead, he opts for the less complicated route, the corners of his lips curling up into a coy smile as he places a gentle hand on your thigh.

“No, your lips, dummy. I want to taste the coffee off of your lips.”

There are no words for the audacity of Osamu Dazai and the feelings thrashing inside you when he says things like that. You smile bashfully and look away, unable to accept his shameless flirting.

“You’re so weird, Osamu…”

“Mm, I'm so yours. No takesies backsies.~"

You slowly meet his gaze, his watchful eyes that ooze devotion practically holding yours hostage… God, you are so beautiful to him. Before you can even register it, Dazai scoops you up bridal style and carries you to the living room, laying you down on the soft couch. His eyes darken as he looks down at you, his fingers tracing the outline of your lips. As soon as you show him the look of love that gives him the consent he’s looking for, he doesn’t think twice about it. He grabs your chin and pulls you into a messy kiss. He kisses you rough, his tongue almost immediately sliding into your mouth as he moans into you. His moans turn into whimpers, like he's been starved of touch for far too long and you're satiating the hunger. He needs to taste the coffee you just drank, and he wants you to know exactly how much he's been aching for this moment. For your much needed day off. For you.

He keeps his hand at your chin, pressing you down deeper into the couch with his hips grinding against yours as he tastes the acidity of the coffee along with the honey you sweetened it with.

Finally, when you literally cannot breathe, you pull away with your dazed and blissed out expression, all red in the face just like he loves. You mumble in between pants.

“Wait— So... What exactly was the plan for today?”

He looks up from running his tongue along your jawline and flashes you that infamously deceptive smile he perpetually keeps on his face, tapping his index finger on your cheek. His voice comes out in a breathy whisper.

“Breakfast.”

“.. But we already had breakfast.”

He sighs deeply and his finger ghosts its way from your cheek down to the waistband of your pajama bottoms as he needily mumbles in your ear.

“Still hungry.. I’m a growing boy, you know.~”

You let out a breathless laugh, shaking your head.

"You're going to tire me, Osamu.. Work wears me out enough as is-"

He wiggles a finger at you, face full of sickening desire as he carefully lowers his head down by your stomach, resting his cheek on your soft flesh. He murmurs in that soft pleading way that drives you insane when he combos it with his reverent touch.

"Listen to me, please. No more work talk... No more stressing out your pretty self, okay? I haaaaate demanding jobs. It only takes you away from me."

You look down and simply nod, your eyes trained on the way he looks at you from under his lashes and the soft brown hair that frames his face. Your heart races with anticipation as a smile slowly creeps up onto your lips. You don't need words for what comes next.

For the rest of the day, he makes sure you have the best time off, it's the least he can do as your incredibly attentive and not selfish at all boyfriend! A day where you can shut out all thoughts of work... along with literally anything else that doesn't relate to him.

Unfortunately for you, there is no resting involved on said day. Fortunately for Dazai, you look so cute as you writhe under him for hours on end. That'll get it through your pretty little skull not to work so much.

[pequins]

hear me out hear me out a schlatt fic where hes up late editing and reader is in bed waiting for him so they go check on him, telling him to come to bed and stuff, but when he doesnt, they climb on the chair, sitting on his lap so they block the view, and schlatt obv is now turned on and then they get freakyy 😈 perchance afab!reader, f!reader ‼️

nonnie you’re so smart come kiss me

cont: sleep deprived perfectionist schlatt, afab!reader, unprotected sex & creampie

an: any typos were the work of my opps and i am not liable for them (i wrote this after staying awake for 27 hours)

word count: too many

Jay leaned back in his chair, letting out a low groan as his muscles ached from the prolonged sitting. He had spent the whole day recording and editing a vlog for his channel, unintentionally neglecting you and his need for rest in the process. He was exhausted, his eyes strained from staring at the screen for so long.

he glanced up the time on his screen, wincing as he saw how late it was, 3:46 am? He could’ve swore it was just 9, “jesus..” he mumbled, rubbing his eyes. despite his eyes burning from lack of sleep and extensive time staring at a screen, he was determined to finish this video before going to sleep.

meanwhile, you were watching him from the door frame, leaning against it with a disapproving look. Although you understood his dedication to his work, you worried about the toll it was taking on him. “Jay, it’s late, you gotta sleep sometime or you’ll go crazy.” you said, he sighed, glancing at you with a mixture of fatigue and stubbornness. “I know, I know. I’m almost done, just let me finish something real quick.”

you sighed, sounding similar to that of a disappointed mother, knowing that ‘real quick’ is just his way of excusing hours more of work. you approached him, standing behind his chair and gently resting your hands on his tense shoulders. “yknow, the video will still be there tomorrow.” you remarked, silently pleading for your giant boyfriends comforting presence while you slept.

he groaned quietly as you began to massage his shoulders, feeling a few knots that had formed after hours of hunching over the desk. your touch was soothing, and for a moment, he was tempted to drop everything and curl up with you in bed. unfortunately, his perfectionist tendencies were too strong, the thought of leaving a project unfinished being simply unbearable. “I promise I’ll come to bed in just a minute,” he said, eyes remaining fixed on the screen.

you grew increasingly frustrated with his relentless dedication to his work, your touch transitioning from a therapeutic massage to something more intimate, your fingers tracing along his collarbone and neck, causing a shiver to erupt from him. you leaned down, your breath tickling his ear as you lowered your voice to a sultry whisper. "come on, you work too much.”

he let out a shaky exhale, his eyes closing for a moment as he focused on the sensation of your touch. “baby..” he muttered quietly, his breathing getting more uneven. your hands slowly slid down his chest, sending a shiver down his spine as you played dirty. He could feel the heat rising in his cheeks, his resolve to finish the video slowly crumbling.

“what do I have to do to get you off this damn chair?” you asked, smiling as you heard his uneven breaths. your touch was like electricity to his senses, sending a shiver down his spine that made it difficult to focus on anything else. he felt his resolve weakening, the allure of your words was almost too much to resist.

“toots, i’m—“ he stopped himself, clearing his throat. “i’m almost done, you’re distractin’ me.” he said, his voice strained and breathless. you smiled, continuing your assault on his senses, your fingers slowly running down his chest “cmon,” you whispered, your lips hovering near his neck. “take a break.”

schlatt's eyes widened as you abruptly climbed onto the chair, straddling his lap in a way that certainly had his attention. he could feel the heat radiating from your core as you settled on top of him, the weight of your body against him making his shorts suddenly feel much tighter, his hands instinctively finding their way to your hips.

"you're playing dirty, y'know." he said, his voice betraying a hint of a strained breath. you could practically feel his resistance faltering as your presence made it hard for him to focus on anything else. he tried to keep his eyes fixed on the screen, determined to finish his video, but you both knew you had him right where you wanted him.

with a sly smile, you leaned forward, your body pressing against his chest as you kissed along his exposed collarbone. "i think you've worked enough for tonight, don't you?" you purred, your fingers tracing along his jawline. a low groan escaped his throat, the growing pressure in his boxers making him painfully aware of your closeness, his resolve was quickly crumbling.

he knew he should resist, but the allure of your body against his was overtaking his logic. "cmon, come to bed," you whispered, hands trailing underneath his large sweater. "you need to rest." your body against his was driving him crazy.

he could feel the heat of your breath against his skin, the teasing igniting a fire within him. his heart was racing, the room suddenly feeling unbearably hot. he tried to focus on the screen, to resist the pull of your kisses, but his determination was slipping away with each passing second.

"dammit toots..." he exhaled, his voice strained and low, his body already reacting to your every touch. your close proximity was making it difficult for him to think clearly, his usually sharp mind becoming foggy with want. you gently pushed yourself off of the chair with a coy smile, taking a step backwards, gesturing for him to follow.

he grumbled, reluctantly pushing himself off of the chair and standing up, his body protesting the movement after being stuck in the same position for so long. he followed you silently, his mind still fighting to hold onto his work, his body fighting the urge to give into your allure. you led him into the bedroom, the dimly lit room feeling much more intimate than his claustrophobic office.

you stopped when the back of your legs hit the edge of the bed, a playful smile tugging at the corners of your lips, inviting him silently. the air was heavy with tension, the desire between you both palpable. his gaze hungrily trailed over your figure, his hands twitching and clenching with restraint.

he reached out, his hands roughly grabbing your hips, pulling you flush against him. his grip possessive yet filled with a tenderness that betrayed his usual rugged exterior, sending a shiver down your spine. his hands began to roam your body, finding their way under your shirt, exploring every inch of you with a hungry desperation.

his touch was electric, igniting a fire within your core that spread throughout your body. his breathing was ragged, his lips now pressed against your neck, trailing hot, open-mouthed kisses down to your collarbone. “fuck, i need you" he muttered against your skin, his voice low and rough, his body pressing you down against the bed.

he loomed over you, the weight of his big body pinning you to the soft sheets. his hands continued their exploration, pushing your shirt up and over your head, discarding it on the floor. his mouth returned to your skin, leaving a trail of wet kisses down your chest, down your stomach. his hands slowly unbuttoned your pants, sliding them off and discarding them as well.

he looked down at you, his gaze taking in every inch of your body, his eyes dark and dilated with need. "you're so fuckin’ beautiful." he said, his voice a low growl, his hands now digging into the soft flesh of your thighs. he positioned himself between your legs, pressing himself against your heat. you reached up, his words sending a thrill through your body, your fingers tangling in his dark hair.

he let out a guttural moan as your fingers gripped his hair, the sensation heightening his already sensitive state. his hands gripped your hips, lifting them up, positioning himself closer to you as he trembled with restraint. "i need you, right now." there was a possessive edge to his words, a hint of vulnerability that betrayed his usually guarded nature.

his hands ran over your body, tracing patterns on your skin, desperate to feel you, to claim you. he abruptly pulled your soaked panties down to your ankles, almost drooling at the sight of your bare pussy. he slatternly slid his gym shorts and boxers down to his ankles, briskly freeing his thick cock, tip already shiny and leaking precum.

he braced himself on your hips as he roughly slid into you, gripping at your hips so tightly they’d probably bruise, pulling out just to the tip before thrusting back in. "fuck" he groaned, eyes glassy and desperate as he soaked in the needy moans erupting from you. he threw his head back, letting out deep, gutteral groans as your cunt tightened around him.

the sound of his breathing grew heavier as he continued his movements, reaching deep inside of you, brushing against all the right spots. each movement forced a strangled moan to escape your mouth, mouth agape as your breath was knocked out of you with every thrust. His thrusts became less rhythmic and more sloppy, the sensations almost too much.

"oh god—“ he moaned, his voice cracking as he pounded into you, just hearing you was enough to send him over the edge. It didn't take long for you to become cockdrunk, gripping at the sheets to stay grounded as you mewled and trembled.

his pace faltered, groans getting louder and more gravelly as he chased his high. you whimpered as you felt him abruptly release inside of you, his chest heaving as he buried his head into the crook of your neck, pressing soft, breathy kisses on your collarbone. you both huffed, giggling with what little breath you had left after the intense high.

[dear-ao3]

the 2024 formula 1 silly season and drama master post, part 2 (part 1 here)

Hello and welcome to ah fucking fuck auto caps fuck fuck fuck how do i turn off auto caps AHA there we go okay. take 2

hello and welcome to the great and very insane formula 1 2024 season drama post, part 2. if you are new here or are just looking for part one (which contains the previous 16 (?) races, the off season, pre season testing and everything else, that can be found HERE. (a word to the wise: open it in a browser, not the app, and preferably on a computer to avoid crashing. its fucking long). 

what the hell is formula 1? car go fast. fastest cars in the world zoom around tracks at top speeds of over 300kph, piloted by the top 20 drivers in the world. it might not sound dramatic, but oh man. you will Not be disappointed. this post focuses on the drama, the insanity, the sheer what the hell how is this a serious sport. no legitimately. we've just about seen it all this year. grindr, dogs, watersports, ice cream brands, its all here.

the point of this post? to educate, to catalog the insane drama, and to just have a good time. people like to gatekeep this sport, there is also a lot happening. i try to make it easy to understand. again, probably best to start at the beginning of the post because it does a pretty good job of explaining things, which i began way back in january, and can be found HERE (again, shes long, be careful)

and, as usual, if you do not want to see this post EVER AGAIN, block the tag #saph explains silly season 2024

and a second caution, i assume this post will be getting long as well. including this one we have minimum 9 updates left!

anyway, those of you who have been following along the whole time, welcome back! i know we got a little delayed. and i know we’re on a new post, so lets just briefly take a second for me to explain what the fuck happened. first i had an anatomy test, second i work 2 jobs with fuck ass hours, third tumblr decided to stop letting me look at any of my drafts, fourth tumblr support ghosted me about the drafts issue and the post was half saving half not so i just decided fuck it, were going with post 2, electric boogaloo, and fifth, i decided to start typing this instead in a google docs so. many changes. if you're new here i am usually more on top of this.

but here we are. were back on street circuits. we’re in baku, azerbaijan, for the start of the last third of the season. 8 races remain, world championship titles are still within grasp of multiple people. the drama is dramaing. and today is september 22, 2024 and lets fucking go. 

first and foremost, on account of the fact that this post is late (again, see above), were going to have to do a bit of a speed run. if you're new here, i promise that this is not representative of my normal dedication to the update post. and for those asking, yeah, ill probably compile it somewhere better than a tumblr post after its all said and done, but we don't have time for that now. 

what we do have time for is the Off Week (and like some of the media stuff). and it was filled with silliness: 

george russell decided to wear what can only be described as slightly ugly yellow short shorts with his taylor swift shirt that he got at the eras tour. this was baffling for several reasons, the main reason being that i don't think the internet knew that he was capable of wearing a graphic t shirt

fernando alonso got his aston martin valkyrie finally. in case you are unfamiliar, a valkyrie i think is the worlds fastest street legal car. he posted tweets about this that made it seem like he wanted to fuck the car. hilariously, the car broke down an hour later.

we also had the very thrilling conclusion to grill the grid. oscar won and he somehow managed to look more pleased about his grill the grid win than his first race victory. 

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nico rosberg went to the green awards and he wore a fantastically insane teal blue suit. yes i know hes not a current driver. but you all like hearing about him so ask and you shall receive. unfornunately i cant find a picture of it though

and also not a current driver is mick schumacher, but my roommate asked me to include that he was seen on his girlfriends instagram being bad at golf. like. exceptionally bad at golf. like he hit a tree 20 feet in front of him.

also playing golf was lando norris. except he managed to look like try bolton from high school musical 2.

he also talked about the world driver championship with his friend max fewtrell while they were playing golf. unfortunately i lost this link in the sea of technical difficulties, but the gist of it was that he was saying that there is still hope for him to beat max in the championship (hes about 60 points behind right now). lando doesnt usually talk about the championship because he doesnt want news outlets to paint him as “desperate” so this was interesting

charles leclerc had an insane off week. first he rear ended someone in monaco. then he spoke at a yacht conference. he was not scheduled to speak at said yacht conference, he was there doing something else and they were like hey you're cool people know you, heres a microphone. he alsp ended up on a weather channel while promoting a karting event he was doing for the jules bianchi foundation (his god father, the one who died during the f1 race in japan 2014). he also changed his instagram pop and re centered it because some random tiktoker told him it matched his aesthetic better.

oscar piastri posted a photo of himself sitting in the cockpit of a plane and then promptly deleted it. because he posted it on 9/11. for anyone who doesnt know what that is, that was when some terrorists hijacked commercial planes and few them into the world trade centers in nyc and the pentagon in washington dc

max verstappen also posted a plane pic with himself and lando norris, but he did not delete it.

we also had the return of daniel ricciardo’s jpg instagram account, which is kinda like a finsta for photos that hes taken. i think lando started this a few years ago. 

heading into the race week we certainly got a weird ass batch of pr. including but not limited to:

lewis hamilton was back on top and slaying in the fit game. as was yuki. 

lewis hamilton also exposed george russell as listening to katy perry pre race. katy perry and taylor swift (this was after he claimed that he liked listening to old school rap music.) though, lewis then started singing wrecking ball???? confusing vibes all around

george was not off the hook yet tho because some intern definitely make him say skidibidi toilet or whatever the thing is idk, i might be gen z but im not insufferable, okay? actually george in baku was just all kinds of unhinged

george and alex also got up to something, what it is no one knows but it is clearly something

max pulled up to the paddock de aged about 10 years. picture one is of him in baku in 2015 (i believe he was 17) and picture 2 is this year. no i am not kidding. 

and franco walked into the paddock telling everyone about argentinian mate (which is a drink, not a friend)

and max shoved a microphone out of the way so everyone could gossip

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then of course, we had some slightly more relevant drama

haas announced that ollie would be replacing kevin at baku. in case you forgot, kevin magnussen received a total of 12 penalty points over the season so far, which means he gets one race ban. how did he get the points? well he was mostly wreaking havoc on everyone else so that his teammate, nico hulkenberg, could drag his car into the points. lets all remember the time in saudi arabia where he managed to get 20 seconds of penalties by basically driving like a mad man just to make sure that nico could keep his position after he pit stopped. anyway, nico was kind of pissed about the race ban situation and said “maybe the guidelines for F1 penalties need to be reviewed as the stewards ‘want to get involved’ no matter the contact.”

in any case though, k mags was out. and ollie was in. we’ve seen ollie before. notably he subbed in for carlos sainz at the saudi arabia gp when carlos had appendicitis. he managed to get points as well. since then, he has been announced as a haas driver for 2025 and is now subbing in for k mags (haas, later in the week called him a super sub. clearly no gen z person read that over.) he can do this because ferrari has a haas engine so they share reserve drivers.

adrian newey finally got employed. i know! i can hardly believe it either! but he did! and youll never guess where! 

ferrari? no that would be too obvious. 

mercedes? nah

williams? no too much of a shit show

aston martin? ding ding ding! just the right amount of shit show! 

that is right. newey is going to aston for 2025. 

apparently he was offered a “good package” according to himself, which i assume means pay and also the fact that lawrence stroll made him a shareholder? stakeholder? whatever its called. in the team itself. basically he has a lot of power. 

he said that he always wanted to work with fernando and lewis. and he couldn't do both. and aston had a better package than ferrari. 

fernando looked positively evil during all the announcement pictures. and called the team "definitely the team of the future" and for those of you who don't know, fernando is positively evil. hes just been stuck in a shit box and we havent seen very much of him, but man does he know how to evilly slut it up. so that will be fun to see.

by contrast, people said that lance was not excited enough. and well. lance 1. has resting bitch face and 2. never really looks excited about anything. also he lives in a world where take your child to work day somehow became his job. (his dad owns the team).

lewis hamilton was asked what he thought about adrian not going to ferrari, and here's what he had to say:

"i feel like, while I have mentioned before that it would be an honor to work with adrian, i have been privileged to work with two championship winning teams that didnt have adrian."

mclaren announced pato o ward would do FP1 in mexico. who is pato o ward? hes one of mclaren’s indycar drivers and one of the f1 reserve drivers. he is incredibly charming and definitely runs his own social media as seen here:

mclaren Also claim they figured out who their number 2 driver is and they claim its oscar. i say they claim because the statements were a lot more complex than that. essentially, according to andrea stella, the priority is to the team first, then lando and then oscar. so they didn't outright say that oscar is the number 2 driver and i am willing to bet real money that this is because mr mark webber, oscars manager, has something in oscars contract that prevents him from being a number 2 driver. this is of course because mark webber was one of the most infamous number 2 drivers in f1 history to none other than menace war criminal sebastian vettel, who in their time as teammates, managed to win 4 back to back world champions. or, top to bottom if you're mrs darbus from high school musical. 

lando was asked about this and he said that yes, the team does support him. though he would not expect oscar to give up a win for him and that it is more complex behind the scenes. i suppose we will see if there are any papaya rules coming out this weekend….

and oscar said "i think the main point is its not purely just going to be me pulling over for lando every single race, because thats how none of us, including lando, wont want to go racing, if we feel that someone has done a much better job on a weekend, whichever way it is, we want that person to be rewarded."

max verstappen commented on the mclaren situation as well. which was funny mostly because red bull has one of the most defined number 1 and number 2 drivers of any team. he said "you look at it form oscar's perspective, he is closer to lando than lando to me. they have to deal with that."

and allow me to put on a tin foil hat as we are about to talk about the future of the red bull seat. because all i have to offer here is a baseball hat and a red bull can. 

a long time ago we talked about the red bull cans. the ones that red bull makes to promote f1. at the end of last season red bull put max and checo on the red bull can. this season at the start it was just max on the red bull can. well. now checo has reappeared on the cans too. and i will tell you what i think this means. it means that checo is not getting swapped this season, which was a possibility for awhile. 

but! there is more! 

daniel ricciardo made an instagram post this week. and it was very interesting. but most interestingly he was wearing a red bull hat.

which he does occasionally, no big deal really. he did race for the for several years, he technically does currently. BUT then he showed up TO THE PADDOCK wearing the red bull hat.

which is Big Interesting. usually you show up in a statement outfit or wearing the team kit. and daniel is not a red bull racing driver. he is a visa cashapp racing bulls driver. they might be owned by red bull but they are Not the same team. so why the red bull hat. in the paddock. well, the rumor is that hes taking checos seat for 2025. and the rumor is that this will be announced before mexico. so checo can have a proper send off. 

and with that. the baku lore. 

theres a lot that has happened at baku. as i said its a street circuit. and i think its the fastest street circuit. but over the years theres been some notable events. 

such as the great kimi raikkonen radio for gloves and steering wheel:

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they gave mini kimi this week gloves and steering wheel in honor of that

the max and daniel crash in 2018 when they were running p1 and p2 respectfully

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and of course. how could we forget. charles’s infamous “i am stupid” radio.

speaking of charles, he crashed again in fp1. not quite in the same spot, but nearly. he took a picture with the marshalls. 

then in fp2 he rage quit, basically saying that the car sucks. 

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but he was back and better than ever in practice three because he managed to top the time charts. welcome back fuck ass ferrari.

some other teams definitely experienced the lows but not really the highs of baku during practice. like lance stroll who came on the radio to say “this is not a car” (good thing they have adrian newey now, right? 

franco colapinto also cut his ear before practice on the neck strengthener stretcher thing that they all use and the team wanted to give him stitches but he was like no no no i need to be in the car in about 5 minutes im not doing that. so he jammed on his helmet and jumped in the car. he also crashed and when he went to the medical center he took off his helmet and there was blood everywhere and they were like no no no you cannot race! and he was like no! this is not from the crash! and then explained it and they let him do qualifying. 

also im pretty sure? ollie bearman crashed? in practice? but frankly i don't have time to google it so whos to say. 

but alas. qualifying. 

i know i know this is kind of a shitty update. i promise ill go all out in singapore. i PROMISE. 

so as i said. its a street circuit. high speed. 90 degree corners. and also windy as hell. we also had the dynamic duo of karun and harry in the commentary box. 

max led the first practice, george led the second and i think charles led the third. or some order like that. 

slipstream here is almost essential (slipstream: going behind another car to reduce the wind drag so you can go faster) 

charles has the last three pole positions (first in qualifying) here in baku, but he has never won. by comparison, red bull have never had pole here but they have won. 

and franco has never been to baku before. 

i think that's all the exposition that we need here. 

q1 started with max complaining about his car. “the car is jumping around like crazy on the rear axle” he said. despite this he was sitting in p3. 

the mid field battle though….the mid field battle was heating the hell up. mostly because none other than franco colapinto, who if you will remember, has never been to baku before, had split the two ferraris. he was in third for the moment, .109 seconds behind carlos sainz and .159 seconds ahead of charles leclerc. we still had a lot of qualifying left to go, so this was probably not going to stay, but it was still insane. he was pushing insanely hard, nearly kissing the walls. clearly he had learned from his crash in practice. 

the two mclarens waited until the very end of q1 to do their final flying push lap, and oscar made it through, but tragedy struck for lando. 

lando was in the middle of his last flying lap, time was ticking down, and there was a Very Brief yellow flag on the track. now, according to rules, you cannot complete your flying lap if there is a yellow flag. so lando pitted and was stuck down in 17th and out of qualifying. this would be the first time that he was out in q1 since vegas last year (which if i remember correctly was also not his fault) 

now though, of course nothing is ever that cut and dry. people thought that there had been a mis showing of a flag. yellow flag means that a car is stopped on track, white flag means that a car is going slowly on the track. and people thought that there had been a yellow flag shown when it was actually supposed to be a white flag (if there had been a white flag then lando would have been able to keep doing his flying lap) lando himself said that he had no idea what people were talking about because there is a light on the steering wheel that lights up when flags are called and he had a big yellow light. so it was clearly a yellow flag. 

if you're concerned about lando being able to pull it out of the bag, id like to point you in the direction of the mexican gp last year where lando qualified 17th and finished 5th. on a track that was hard to overtake on. he can be absolutely insane when he wants to be. worry not gentle reader. 

in any case. also out in q1 was daniel ricciardo, valtteri bottas, zhou guanyu and esteban ocon.

and notably, williams, who was on fucking fire this weekend as we already saw, finished q1 with alex albon in second (ahead of oscar) and franco colapinto in 8th. pierre gasly had somehow managed to also get into 4th. and nico hulkenberg was in 7th with ollie bearman in 13th. i told you the mid field battle was heating the hell up. 

q2. everyone zoomed straight out of the gate. they didn't want to get lando norris’d. but, speaking of that, if lando managed to get no points in the race and charles managed to win, charles would overtake lando in the drivers championship. mark webber himself told this to charles, who was absolutely baffled. 

in any case, charles was kinda suffering right now and that was because he was not getting slipstream from carlos to make his lap faster. meanwhile, carlos seemed to be actively trying to give charles the slipstream because he came on radio to say “he keeps missing the tow” 

and amazingly, franco colapinto was 4 tenths AHEAD of alex albon. alex albon who had not been unqualified by his teammate once since the start of 2023. ex red bull driver alex albon. that alex albon. 

max topped the times in q2, followed immediately by charles. insanely, fernando alonso managed to drag the aston martin to fifth. and franco was right behind him in 6th. by comparison alex albon was in 10th. 

and from q2 we lost ollie bearman, yuki tsunoda (who has never qualified lower than 8th in baku), pierre gasly, nico hulkenberg and lance stroll. so yes, ollie bearman managed to outqualify nico hulkenberg. this is ollies second ever f1 race. 

steaming on forward to q3. 

we had, for review, in q3 the following: 

both ferraris, both red bulls, both mercedes, both WILLIAMS (has not happened since vegas 2023), plus fernando alonso and oscar piastri. 

right out the gate it was wild. 

“red bull! theyve re found their mojo! or have they!” karun said. red bull were in 5th and 6th and not entirely sucking for the moment. 

everyone did one flyer and then came out at the end for a second flyer. 

here were the standings: 

charles, carlos, oscar, george, checo, max, lewis, alex, franco, fernando

and everyone was making it to the line and all was going smooth until-

wait a second what is that

could it be! alex albon! with the air box fan still on his car! surely not!!!

oh but it was! and harry and karun were like oh wow so unfortunate for williams tisk tisk

meanwhile ted jumped on the radio to Loudly announce to everyone that this was insane and if i have time here i will put the rant he ranted cause it was Fantastic.

and what do you know i have time

so we had 3 minutes left qualifying and everyone was pulling out of the pits for their last flyer when oscar hopped on the radio to say

"the williams still has the air box fan in"

"oh what an error! disaster for williams!" karun and harry said. they speculated if the marshalls could get it or if the session needed to be red flagged. but alex threw the fan off the car.

and then they asked "ted have you ever seen that before?" and ted did not hold back:

"ITS A MASSIVE YELLOW FAN HOW COULD YOU MISS IT???!!! HOW COULD THE MECHANICS MISS IT???? I CANT BELIVE THEY WOULD MAKE SUCH A MISTAKE DOWN AT WILLIAMS! SUCH AN EXPERIENCED BUNCH OF GUYS AND GIRLS! WHAT IS GOING ON AT WILLIAMS OPERATIONALLY? HOW COULD YOU SEND A CAR OUT LIKE THAT?"

alex, obviously, got fined for an unsafe release 5k euros. he also had to throw the fan off to the side and got slightly covered in dry ice. he did not get to the a second flying lap. 

franco did tho!

and here were out qualifying results: 

p1: charles p2: oscar p3: carlos p4: checo p5: george p6: max p7: lewis p8: fernando p9: franco p10: alex  p11: ollie p12: yuki p13: pierre p14: nico p15: lance p16: daniel  p17: lando p18: valtteri p19: zhou p20: esteban 

oh ho ho but we werent done yet. because pierre gasly got disqualified from qualifying. for failing fuel flow regulations. and lewis was going to have to start from the pit lane for changing his power unit. 

everyone, and by everyone i mean oscar max and checo, pretty much said that charles was going to get pole no matter what, they knew this coming in and the best they were trying for was second

onto the race. 

notably, this is considered a checo track. this was one of the three races that max did not win last year. because checo won it. its a track that he does well on, evidenced by the fact that he qualified above max in qualifying. so people were expecting big things from him.

and so, we head into lap 1.

charles managed to hang onto the lead. checo passed carlos straight out of the gate for third and max managed to pass george to take fifth. lando had managed to get ahead of nico and up into 13th. notably, franco held onto 8th and ollie was able to hold onto tenth. 

someone who was not doing well was lance stroll, who came on the radio saying that he had a puncture. this was from contact with yuki. lance had to pit for fresh tires and was pretty immediately thrown to the back of the grid. 

by lap 2 lando had managed to get past daniel and was in 12th, he was trying to get past yuki next, which he managed by lap 3. yuki also lost a  spot to nico. 

also slaying in the mclaren was oscar, who took fastest lap. then charles took fastest lap.

and lewis hamilton, who had started from the pit lane, was up to 16th. already. somehow. though he was displeased with the tires, sayig that “this tire is pretty bad” over the radio. 

yuki meanwhile was clearly having a problem because he had started going very very slowly. thought the pit wall said that he had no problems. this would later turn out to be false but we will indulge them for the time being. 

franco was STILL ahead of alex albon on lap 6. STILL. 

lando on lap 8 managed to push his way into points positions, overtaking ollie bearman for 10th. though this was where things were about to slow down for him because in front of him were alex, franco and fernando, who were all very close together and would be hard to get past. 

george was back in bad luck hell as a plastic bag entered his airbox. will he ever catch a break. 

on lap 11 nico hulkenberg finally caught up with ollie bearman and passed him for 11th. 

and max’s car was not working. to potentially no one’s surprise. “i have zero bite in the car” he said. and this was probably true because checo was a whole 6.5 seconds ahead of him. insane gap. 

several pit stops later that i will not detail out because we simply do not have the time, alex albon ended up in 4th and lando ended up in fifth. and oscar was about to get undercut by checo. 

“mojo seems to be back for checo perez” harry said, correctly. 

mojo was back for him indeed. and now he was right behind lando. 

and if you will recall, according to mclaren themselves, priority at mclaren is the team first, then oscar, then lando. but oscar was ahead of lando. so what did mclaren do? 

they asked lando do hold up perez, but not compromise his own race. 

remever a long time ago when i said mclaren wouldn't have any internal drama this season? man how i was wrong.

lando managed to hold up perez for around a lap or two before he got past. this was crucial because this was during when oscar was in the pits. 

thanks to lando and the power of the papaya rules teamwork, oscar ended up coming out in 4th, only .706s ahead of checo. 

mclaren are working together everyone! mclaren are working together!

meanwhile, turns out that yuki did indeed have problems because he retired on lap 17 with a hole in his sidepod from the contact with lance on lap 1. this was now two races in a row where he had had to retire for reasons out of his control. 

several more people pitted. and eventually charles was back out in front, oscar was in p2. until he wasn't. no, he didn't dnf. he overtook charles! he was in p1! he popped out of nowhere! nowhere being 2 car lengths back and just flooring it to spring around charles like a little silly slinky! karun called it a “good, fair and robust defense,” which sounds like its descibing notes in wine. but this was not wine. this was the baku gp. and we were only half done. 

ollie bearman was defending against lewis hamilton, holding on tightly to 14th place. 

charles was still behind oscar and he could not get past, despite the fact that he was still very much in spitting distance. “they are pushing like crazy or they have more grip than us” he said. 

carlos got past both lando and alex albon and was up into 4th

this brought max up behind lando. max was on 11 lap old tires and lando was on 24 lap old tires. but lando still defended like hell and managed to hold onto sixth. max was 0.632 seconds behind lando on lap 25 when he said that “my brakes are not working.” this was hardly a surprise. max has hated the car since china.

also experiencing technical difficulties was sir lewis hamilton. he was stuck down in 14th and was first told to do “everything you can do to get the surface temp down” of the tires. he said “im trying” then several laps later on lap 29 he came on the radio to say “are you seeing how i have to drive this thing?” “yes,” bono, his engineer said. “quite effective though.” 

max was still half a second behind lando. mclaren faked a pit stop call over the radio to get max to pit. he did not. 

but, george russell did manage to pass him. which was “not good for max’s world champion aspirations.”

this was also when ted very bafflingly said that “if i had a sofa in the pit lane i would be jumping up and down on it” im not sure what that was in response to. 

meanwhile, ollie was still holding off sir lewis hamilton. and charles was trying to get oscar to pit again by lying over the radio. it was not working. 

lando did a pit stop finally and came out a whole 15 second behind max. he was hoping to catch max by the end of the race. but it might be tight. lets go last lap lando. 

“lando, imagine andrea on your shoulder saying ‘zero wheel spin’ in every exit,” lando’s race engineer said. if you're confused, everyone else was too. 

10 laps to go and here were the order of affairs:

oscar

+.449s charles +1.865s checo +2.989s carlos +16.530s george  +1.909s max +11.535s lando +9.715s fernando +2.589s alex +2.451s nico +4.667s franco +1.590s lewis +1.261s ollie +1.791s pierre +9.205s daniel +23.919s esteban  +.789s lance +3.862s valtteri +3.631s guanyu 

lando was determined. he took fastest lap on lap 43 and was 8.8s behind max

at this point, the leaders were starting to lap the cars in the back. “the back markers are starting to come up,” checo’s engineer said to him. “its going to get messy.”

“hold onto your hats and if you don't have one go get one and hold onto it” harry said. harry would turn out to be correct. 

we had the top 3 all running very close to eachother, that was oscar, charles and checo and “welcome to the party carlos sainz!” who was now 1.2 seconds behind checo in the four way battle for the lead.

definitely not leading was lance stroll, who retired on lap 47 with a brake problem. 

oscar managed to pull ahead of charles by 1.5 seconds, finally knocking him out of DRS range. so now it was a three way battle for second. and charles had “no rear tires. no rear tires at all.” 

and, just like i said he would, lando managed to pass max on lap 49. he was closing the gap slowly in the championship. 

“verstappen’s day goes from bad to worse,” harry said. because lando still had fastest lap, so he would score 3 more points than max. which is important if lando wants to beat max in the championship (though i think hes still like 60 points behind)

meanwhile! franco managed to pass nico hulkenberg for 10th! he was in the points!!!! at his second race!!! 

but this was short lived because there was a crash! a big smackeroo! between carlos and checo!! checo was mad, carlos didn't know what happened. 

what happened was that carlos was trying to pass checo but checo did not move over. it was deemed an equal fault accident. both of them were utterly confused at what happened and apparently spent 20 minutes in the medical center being utterly lost and aparently saying that sometimes this sport sucks. and! contrary to what several people said! checo did not bang on carlos’s helmet after the crash. 

the crash actually caused chef's dad to have a heart attack. he is stable now.

and well. this clip of george from the post qualifying interviews definitely didnt age well:

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but! since we were a matter of a few laps from the end, this meant that the rest of the race was finished under a virtual safety car. 

which meant 

OSCAR PIASTRI WINS THE AZERBAIJAN GP

and george inherited p3! 

and on his own merit too! no safety cars, no team orders, no weird shit! 

“yes!” he whispered over the radio. 

he almost fell getting out of the car, then gave us all the “one moment” hand gesture before properly celebrating. 

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he also got driver of the day! 

(this was marginally better than george russell, who said over the radio “i cant get any rubber (to pick up on his tires) all im getting is leaves”)

gunther steiner also hosted the post race interviews. which was interesting. 

george said that the most difficult part of the race was “driving full gas into a wall of carbon fiber on the penultimate lap…the vsc should have come out sooner” 

charles bashed ferrari because they didn't do any high fuel runs in practice. 

oscar was entirely pleased. “i managed to overtake and hold onto it for the next 35 laps..one of the better races of my career.” and honestly, oscar winning a race straight after mclaren basically announcing that he was their number 2 driver is nothing short of hilarious.

and! mclaren was now leading the constructors championship by 20 points! for the first time in ten years!!!!

the top three had a moment outside of the car that was filled with baffled: 

and oscar's engineer tom got to stand on the podium with him. he usually takes a selfie with oscar after each race he podiums at, but he was too excited to so george took this picture for them

(george also aparently demomished oscar in a game of uno on the plane, immediately humbling him)

george also shielded himself from the champagne on the podium

the cooldown room reacted to the crash in a very straight forward manner:

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and very quickly cause its midnight and the singapore gp starts in 8 hours, the post race, speed ran: 

-mark webber told off laura winter for thinking that oscar didn't have good tire management

-alex albon was “super happy, that's a lot of points for us” (williams finished in 7th and 8th). he cut his own interview short when ollie bearman arrived, saying “I can go, im happy to go” and then waving comically. 

-williams was so pleased with this result they blasted everyone with champagne. and they overtook alpine in the constructors championship! this was also their best race finish all season

-(and a quick note, if youre going to really blame logan for being that shit of a driver here, please remember that the car he was driving was several rounds of upgrades behind alex's pretty much the entire time he was driving it)

-ollie became the first driver to ever score points in his first two races for two different constructors because the double dnf pushed him up to 10th place. he said that there was not much difference between the haas and the ferrari, the ferrari was just red

-franco continued to charm everyone and flirt with the reporters. 

-they interviewed george and lewis and the camera had to be adjusted for george's height. it was comical and resulted in my favorite edit so far of the season (sound on)

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-lando looked pleased and happy for once. he said about holding off checo that “i didn't hold him up i just had to cool my tires a little.” he was delighted to be leading the constructors for the first time in ten years and he defended alex albon saying “i struggled to get past alex for a while, which is common, alex doesnt make mistakes.” he also ratted on max for going to fast during the VSC and said “i didn't complain, facts were stated.” and to sum it all up he said that “im executing things well, i’m very quick…i’m not going to be the happiest guy, but i am never the happiest guy….car is performing well everywhere…some red cars behind us seem to be our biggest competitors right now” 

-by comparison george insulted all of pirelli. the tire people. “pretty infuriating that it (the pace) changes this so much….its black magic, people who make the tires don't understand the tires…..for 20 laps we had a car not worthy of points and for 20 laps we had a car fighting for victory and the only difference is the tires.” 

-lewis was notably upset after the race and walked through the paddock with his helmet on, not wanting to talk to anyone. but he did talk to franco and ollie and congratulate them on a job well done defending against him and racing against him. franco even fangirled over this on his instagram. 

-charles was clearly upset with ferrari. he was so upset he posted a thirst trap.

-and oscar. oscar was very happy this afternoon. and his mom was there! she doesnt usually come cause it scares her, but nicole was there today! 

-mclaren celebrated with a hell of a lot of champagne. both oscar’s wina and lando’s insane recovery, and the fact that they were leading the championship. red bull have been dethroned, at least for now. 

-there was so much champagne that lando took off his socks to spray it. all seems well at mclaren. 

-at least one thing is for sure, oscar had a better time here this weekend than last year when he got food poisoning and only ate four pieces of toast

and with that. we head into singapore. quite literally as it is starting in a few hours. again, i apologixe about this post. its a little sad, but the next one will be better. pinkly promise. 

see you all soon!!!

[caplanbuckybarnes]

Words Unspoken (mattt Murdock)

Summary: you're so glad to have Matt around

Warnings: fluff

WC: 590ish

Read on Ao3!

-

New York City’s nighttime hum surrounded the two of you, the faint glow of streetlights casting long shadows down the alley. The chill in the air was a stark contrast to the warmth radiating between you and Matt Murdock as you stood close enough to hear his steady, controlled breathing.

You glanced up at him, his features softened by the dim light. Despite his blindness, Matt’s presence was always so focused, like he could see you better than anyone else ever had. His sharp senses must have picked up on your accelerated heartbeat or the way you shifted from one foot to the other, nervous energy buzzing between you.

The fight with the latest gang causing havoc in Hell’s Kitchen was over, but the tension between you and Matt still lingered, thick and palpable. For months now, the two of you had danced around this unspoken thing, working side by side to protect the city while never quite acknowledging the pull that drew you together.

Tonight, though, something was different. He had gotten closer during the fight, his body brushing against yours more often than necessary, his hands lingering just a second longer when he pulled you back from harm. And now, here you were, standing so close, his chest rising and falling just inches from your own.

Matt tilted his head slightly, lips parting as if he were about to say something, but the words never came. Instead, there was that silence again—the silence that made your heart race faster than the fiercest battle.

“I know you want to kiss me,” you said suddenly, the words leaving your lips before you could stop them. It wasn’t a challenge, but a simple statement. The tension had built too much, and you were done pretending that you didn’t feel the same way.

Matt’s lips twitched into a small, surprised smile, and for a moment, he said nothing. His fingers flexed at his sides, almost as if he was contemplating reaching for you, but he held back.

“I do,” he admitted softly, his voice rough but sincere, as if he had been holding back those words for longer than you could imagine. His face tilted towards yours, his lips hovering dangerously close, and you could feel the warmth of his breath against your skin.

The city noise seemed to fade, leaving just the two of you in this small, intimate moment. The world might have been falling apart outside this alley, but here, with Matt, it was quiet.

"Then what are you waiting for?" you whispered, leaning in just enough to close the distance.

A barely audible laugh escaped him, the smile fading as he closed the gap between you, his lips brushing against yours in a kiss that was at once soft and intense. The electricity that had been building for so long finally surged through you, and the world around you disappeared completely.

For once, Matt didn’t hold back. His hands found your waist, pulling you closer, and you could feel his heart beating just as wildly as yours. Every touch, every gentle press of his lips against yours, spoke the words neither of you had dared to say until now.

When you finally pulled away, breathless and flushed, Matt rested his forehead against yours. He smiled softly, a contentment in his expression that you hadn’t seen before.

“You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do that,” he whispered.

With a grin, you brushed a strand of hair from his face. “I think I do.”

--

tags!

EVERYTHING PERM: @nekoannie-chan @kjs-s @notyourtypicalrose @mistressofallthingsgeeky

MARVEL PERM: @jaqui-has-a-conspiracy-theory @late-to-the-party-81 @capsthot @kenzieam @dis-plus-fanfic-reblog-writes

MATT MURDOCK: @hallecarey1 @yarrstyleeza @sloppyzengarden

[cherryredstars]

Cherry, I’ve always wanted to say this to you… You. Are. Amazing! I seriously can't get enough of your work!

How about this? Reader is a TV host that bashes on Spider-Man. However it is just a job to her and doesn’t believe in the things she rants about. Anyway, one day reader is caught in the middle of one of Spider’s Man foes and our favorite grumpy spider saves her. Though he is extremely rude to her when she tries to thank him (what else is new?). Reader has to convince him that she doesn’t hate him (the opposite in fact) and decides to show him her appreciation.

Pairing: Miguel O’Hara x fem!reader

Warnings: 18+, NSFW, Thigh Riding, A Little Electricity(??)

A/N: Thank you, lovie!! Enjoy!

Unedited

The world must hate you.

The stiffness in the air is haunting as the burly hero trails behind you, making sure you don’t make more trouble. You weren’t exactly looking for it, it just came to you. How were you supposed to know actively looking for one of the biggest criminals in the past few weeks for a story could be dangerous?

Okay, maybe he had a point.

You sigh, trying to subtly glance over your shoulder. Even through his mask, you can see the grimace he directs at you, pixels slightly distorting. You thin your lips, rubbing your arm. Great, even Spiderman is after you.

“Um,” you start, turning to face him. He crosses his arms over his chest and you try not to let your eyes linger on how it tightens his suit. “My house is just around the block, I’ll be fine from here.”

He doesn’t move, continuing to stare down at you like you’re a child. You gulp, balancing on the balls of your shoes before slowly turning around and walking forward with a dragged out whisper of okay. You lead him down the block until you stop in front of the entrance to your apartment complex.

You face him once again, putting on an awkward smile.

“Thank you for, uh, escorting me home.” The hero says nothing, looking over you for any injuries before starting to turn around.

Your hand rushes out, electricity pulsing under your fingers for just a second as you grab his arm before he shakes you off.

“I don’t mean those things.” You rush out, suddenly desperate to clear the air with your favorite hero. “I-it’s a job. Just a job.”

You can hear the small scoff he lets out from under his mask, something in you deflating slightly. You open your mouth again, but no words come to mind to reassure him. You clamp your mouth shut, a stupid idea coming to you. You reach out, grabbing his arm again and turn him to face you. You’re quick as you lean up and press a hard kiss to his mask, your lips tingling from the buzzing technology. Instinctively, Miguel grabs at your waist to steady you on your toes, a low grunt leaving him.

You pull away, clearing your throat. Embarrassment flushes your skin and you sharply turn away. You really are stupid or something. “Good night.”

You stalk towards the entrance door, body moving like a robot as you avoid the burning gaze at your back. You open the door, turning when you feel hot electricity directly behind you. Your eyes stay on his chest, too embarrassed to look him in the eye.

“I’ll walk you to your door.”

What he really meant was, I’ll follow you through the door and proceed to fuck you against it.

You let out a soft moan as he presses you against the wall, pressing a suited thigh between your legs as he guides you up and down it. Your hands clutch at his shoulders, digging in so strongly that the suit glows white under them. You can feel his lips at your skin, mouthing and sucking on the delicate curve of your neck. Your pencil skirt has folded up to your waist, leaving only your panties to protect your aching clit from the subtle buzz and zaps of his suit as he grinds you on him.

You throw your head back, a whimper leaving you from the harsh hold he has on your hips. You can tell he’s trying to get you off quickly, probably in a rush to get back on the streets and protect the rest of the city. But right now, he’s here, in your apartment with his sharp fangs teasingly dragging against your skin.

You wonder if he can feel the wetness of your parties through his suit, if he is able to smell the pure arousal wafting from you as you buck your hips against his thigh with heavy moans. You try to look down at his face, only to see the bottom half revealed so he can mouth at you. You whine in disappointment, even though the rational part of your brain understands why he won’t reveal his full identity.

He seems to smirk at the nose, flexing his thigh and making you gasp as your clothed cunt runs over the corded muscle. A small curse flutters from your lips as another pleasant flicker of electricity runs over your clit, your orgasm just over the horizon.

Miguel speeds up his movements, making you grind faster against his leg until he’s sure you’re about to glitch out his suit from how hard you grab onto him. You come with a strangled cry, cunt fluttering against his suit as his teeth give a small nip to your neck. The tiniest dose of venom hits your skin, but it’s enough to leave your post-orgasm state limp. You slump against him, twitching from the aftershocks of pleasure and his suit. He ever so gently moves you to the couch, laying you down as his mask fully obscures his face again. You’re left to drowsily stare at him as he approaches your window, opening it before disappearing into the night.

What a way to thank your heroes.

[evanescencelovrr]

Part 8 college!simon x reader. Reader works her first shift at the bar and meets team 141 🙊 feel free to like comment & reblog!

Masterlist here ✉️

First shift. You muttered to yourself, buckling your black belt in your jeans. All black outfit, perfect for waitressing. Your hair was tucked in a bun to keep it neat, some strands fallen. Closing shut your mirror, you eyed your dorm room, taking off the lights before leaving with your bag.

“I wonder what that crew is like…apparently they must mean a lot to him.” You said, under your breath as you walked to the main street. The bar was located behind Campus apparently and took about 15 minutes to reach. It wasn’t horrible—you saw shitty motel buildings and broken neon lights along the way.

Cars passed by every now and then. Your mind drifted back to Simon. Maybe that was where he got those eyebags from—working all these night shifts.

The bell rings as you enter and of course, you hear an electric guitar strumming over the speakers. Glasses clink and the displays are showing a football match. You nervously approach the counter and soon a man comes in—mohawk, beard and sharp eyes. Tanned. Tall, muscular and a rag thrown over his shoulder.

What you didn’t expect what his strong scottish accent. “Aye, y’er ere’ fa’ the job, lass?”

“Yes—“ You furrowed your brows, slowly comprehending it to which he barked out a laugh. You weren’t sure you heard him right and the words just spilled out your mouth.

His shiny teeth glittered in the lights. “C’mon, love, no reason t’ be scared. Names Johnny.”

“Of course sir—“

“Johnny.” He said firmly, eyes cutting a glance at you as he began cleaning the glasses with his rag.

You nodded and bit your lip—first mistake. You then made your way behind the counter, boots thudding against the ground. You always wore your lil platform combat boots—added a nice touch.

“Lieutenants got a hold on’ ya?” Johnny said suddenly, eyeing you. Confused, you turn to look at him and you shake your heard, lips tugging down a bit.

“I wouldn’t—“

“Damned man. Cannae help it, you’re a pretty one.” Johnny smiled, rolling his eyes and grinning.

You stare mildly shocked at his carefree attitude, not knowing what exactly to say—or how Simon would respond to this.

After a pause, you then say, “Show me around, yeah?”

“Look at er’ givin’ me orders.” Johnny teased and then got to work, dropping his causal persona. He led you gently to the kitchen, showing you where to restock the fruits. Oranges went in one crate.

Apples in another.

Lemons to the side.

You nodded.

He then showed you how to clean the damn ice maker, which took a good portion of training. He even had you do it, watching you. A half hour at least passed.

“Y’er gettin’ it.” Johnny said, pleased. He patted your back hefty, and you nearly groaned at each pat. He was heavy handed.

You scoff a bit and smile, slowly getting comfortable. After that, was washing and soaking the glasses in lukewarm water to get stains out and debris. And then drying them. And then placing them on the hanging racks by the bar counter for use.

Just then, the door rung and Simon walked in, ready for his shift. When he rounded the counter and saw you, back facing him and drying a glass, he froze momentarily. He then slid his hands into the dark wash of his jeans, black button up wrinkling.

“See ya’ made it in one piece.” A gruff voice said from behind you. You recognized it.

You turned around and grinned, brow raising slightly at his appearance. He sure cleaned up nicely, although his stubble remained rough, hair uncombed. It looked like he ran his fingers through it multiple times.

“Johnny over there s’been keeping me alive. Does he always have a knack for teasin’?”

“Shit, shoulda mentioned that to ya. Don’ let em’ talk his way in y’er panties.” Simon said gruffly, although eyes flashing in amusement. His heavy lidded eyes raised and you found yourself staring a bit longer than necessary, and then turned around. Carefully rearranging the glasses so they stood upside down—the wet ones draining.

“Would be funny all he found were a pair of balls. Steel ones.”

With that, Simon let out a small laugh. A choked out chuckle, shoulders jerking up and grin stretching wide. The curve of his nose wrinkled, eyes flashing down to undo his cuffs to raise his sleeves over his hair forearms.

“Steel ones you said? Quite the image.” And with that, leaving you dazed and flustered, he went off to the kitchen.

——

As Simon approached the kitchen to begin slicing the oranges, and lemons, Johnny appeared.

“Ya’ got a lass under ya now?”

“Shut it, before I stuff Price’s unwashed sock in y’er mouth.” Simon is at it, gruff and glaring. Brows pinched together, big hands cradling the lemon. He tosses it up, then catches it, giving a sharp glance to Johnny who grins mischievously.

“I ain’t signin’ myself up fa’ tha’.” Johnny winced playfully and moved back, to which Simon found it pleasing. Even at work, he was still regarded as Lieutenant—which should still be. Regardless of being at base or not. His position would remain.

He then glanced at you, who leaned against the counter and spoke to a customer. Your grin, although some strands fell delicately, most was tucked away neatly. You shook the drink, mixing and poured it over.

You seemed to be adjusting pretty well.

‘’Aye, lass, come work the back, yea?’’ Johnny called out, from the kitchen. You moved swiftly on your feet, after given the man his drink to which he dropped tips on the counter.

‘’Ya forgot—‘’ Simon started when you breezed past him, sighing through his nose. He walked up, cleaning his scarred hands with the rag, and then slid the tips over.

‘’For that girl.’’ said the man, drinking his mojito and eyeing Simon. He didn’t like this fella. Something itched at him. Maybe it was the sly twinkle in the mans eye, the slight lift of his lip. Bushy eyebrows peeked out.

“Didn’t need ta’ explain yourself.” Simon muttered, stuffing the tips in his pockets, although in his left, making sure to keep his tips separate from yours. Seems you still had some learning to do.

The man returned to his drink, although occasionally eyeing Simons back who now worked the front of the bar. He used the calculator to punch in numbers. Just then, a crowd of people came in—as usual. Night settled now and chatter arose in the bar.

Barstools shook as people sat, slamming hands and cheering. Simon approached and leaned his hands on the edge, eyeing them. “What ave’ we got?”

“Whiskey, neat.”

“Same here.”

“Gimme a scotch, good man.”

Behind, you worked cutting the oranges skin off. Stealthy hands worked and even Johnny let out a whistle. “Things ya’ canna do with those hands.”

You found your breath catching and you shifted on your boots, leaned over the table. You pinched your brows. “You woke up cheery today.”

Johnny laughed and sautéed the vegetables, steam rising. A crackle sound rung in the air, then hissing as he mixed in steak. About halfway, he flipped it expertly. “Jus’ focus on makin’ them hands work, yea?”

“You got it, Johnny.” You quirked, releasing some of your rigidity. He grinned, eyeing you for a second appreciating your tenacity. Slowly, you were getting used to this work environment. It appeared to be smooth, occasionally filled with teasing and banter. Maybe this wasn’t so bad—you thought.

Simon didn’t like as soon as you arrived—new recruit—you’d gotten stares. What he didn’t like were the usual assholes that crept up here every night. He figured he should give you a heads up, although maybe you knew. He wasn’t sure.

And he also wouldn’t lie, you were a pretty thing. He stilled himself once he realized his train of thought, then went back to shaking the drink harder. Almost as if threatening the damn drink. Brows pinched in semi focus— and a hint of irritation at himself. He then removed the shaker and poured smoothly the drink into the glass, pushing it towards the rugged man.

Just then, he spotted Price who arrived. He took his jacket off, resting it on the hook in the small closet next to yours. The man didn’t take long to realize what had changed. ‘’We got a new one?’’

“Aye, shes in the back.” Simon responded, voice lowered.

“She?”

“Got a problem?”

“Nah, just thought you’d bring in a little lad, is all.” Price grinned widely, small eyes crinkling. His mustache brushed his lips.

Price earned a look from Simon. His usual stoic, and cold demeanor not wavering. As Simon leaned against the soda machine, he then perked up when a woman approached the bar, lipstick smudged and hair a wavy mess. Price took this to his advantage and moved to the back.

“Gimme—“

“Gimme a…Malibu mixed with pineapple and cranberry.” She mumbled, grasping the counter and smiling at Simon.

Price then saw you, peeling away at the oranges skillfully. Beside you were a whole basket—unpeeled. And another—ready to go. Price grabbed his apron and tied it round’ his waist, chin tilted down, eyes not leaving you. “Recruit, see ya’ made it to the team.”

You jumped as you were stuck in focus and the man smiled, one corner lifting up. He looked like a millennial dad, you thought. Shifting on your boots, you watched as deft fingers made a skill-full knot behind his back and then he moved to the table beside you.

He grasped at the large knife, as it shined in the overhead light.

“Names y/n.” You said, Johnny taking a long glance over at the scene as Price began slicing smoothly at the chicken.

“You up for waiting tables?” Price said gruffly.

“You got it, sir.”

And at that, Price gave you a smug smile, eyes flashing over you. Johnny then prepared a plate, handing it to you. His tall form towered over you for a moment before going back to prepare another round.

“That ones’ fa’ table five, love.” Johnny said and your eyes peeked up at the nickname. Honestly it seemed casual for him—maybe there was no meaning behind it.

Nodding, you grasped the plate and then caught eyes with Price. He was busy slicing the flesh clean.

Wasn’t so bad for my first shift, you thought.

[1800-lemonadeg1rl]

New to town

Prologue | Part 1

Minors dni!! Masterlist°•☆

Summary- the darkest days of your life could lead to something new. Prologue for a series

Warnings- death, breakups, plane crashes, lonely reader

A/n - hii!!! :3 I'm so srry for not writing anything in like 4 months I swear I'm gonna get back into the habit of it as soon as <33

You always hated being new. Since your were a little kid your parents would move up and down the country at least twice a year which in turn caused you to never have any kind of concrete friendships and to eventually stop trying to make them. When you'd turned eighteen and moved out and were sure you'd stay where you'd picked to be forever.

City living however didn't agree with you one bit. The tiny flat, that could barely fit a fanily if mice, you resided in, cost about an arm a month despite the electrics barely working and the terrible drafts keeping you cold all night. When you'd arrived you were sure you'd make it your own and decorate to make it look less depressing but you mever had the time. You were sure you'd adjust to the noisy neighbours next door and whatever your upstairs neighbours were doing at four in the morning. That hope and optimism for the bleak city had since left and now you lay in the cramped flat at night trying to get comfy on your cheap second hand mattress which creaked awfully whenever you moved as you tried to drown out next doors noise.

Outside tour flat was no better either. You'd struggled to make a single meaningful connection since being here and now some people could say it was the fact you didn't really know how to keep things going in relationships since you'd never had to have a friend longer than six months but you wanted to believe it was the people in the city. Yeah, that sounds better, people from the city were just that bit less extroverted and already had their own groups.

The meaningless office job you worked only made things worse. 45 hours a week slogging away for a meager paycheck and little recognition for any of your time. You'd been there a handful of years since moving into the city and still coworkers regularly got your name wrong or forgot about you completely. Your boss clearly didn't like you, not that he had it out for you by any means but you always had an unfair workload compared to others at the company.

At night you'd lie awake listening to the sounds of the city wondering how many more months you could make it in this bleak existence before an improvement came. How much longer could you hang onto the wagon of life. You weren't much of a betting man but if you were you would of said you'd only make it couple of months.

That's when things took a much worse turn.

The next week your boyfriend of eight months broke up with you over text. You'd known things were over for a while since he'd stopped coming over so much and being going around town with this other girl you'd never cared for. Infact you were more upset about the loss of a warm body, the comfort and stability of a relationship than you were losing him. He wasn't a bad man just.. immature, shown clearly by his breakup message he couldn't even be bothered to call or try to be grammatically correct in his small message. He'd never treated you bad but he wasn't great either, he'd cancel dates to go out with friends, spend the night at yours when there was sports on just because he knew you had the TV channels. You could do better than him. You knew that.

Still, you were desperate to persevere throught these tough times. Yeah it looked poor now but good things were sure to happen when you least expect it... or not.

A few weeks after your breakup as you lay across the old leather couch that took up most the living room space in your apartment. As you meagerly picked at your dinner. That was when it happened.

Your phone ringing suddenly was confusing enough, you hardly had any contacts other than your parents and well they were on a flight to Barbados so definitely couldn't be ringing at this hour. You check the phone and the illuminating letters read out no caller id. Assuming it could be important you decided to answer it, slowly putting the phone to your ear.

"Hello?.."

"Is this y/n/l/n?" A middle aged woman asks, her voice sounded glum and her signal not so good.

"Yeah. Yes, yeah it is. Why?" You responded with a string of awkward yeses mentally facepalming yourself for the stupid response.

"I'm speaking on behalf of United Airlines and we regret to inform you but your parents plane has crashed. They.. they..." Her voice faltered slightly or perhaps the signal cut but you knew what was coming as you felt you could throw up at any moment. A cold sweat plaguing you. "They didn't survive. Sorry." There it was; the news that would change your life. Both of them gone in one swoop. Even if you hadn't been talking so much with your family since your big move you certainly weren't ready for something as catastrophic as this to happen.

[mass-effect-galaxy]

No, that's exactly NOT the way worldbuilding and writing work. In worldbuilding, you set up rules on how your world works. And in writing you tell your story following said rules. One such rule for the world of Dragon Age is that there is no advanced medicine because healing is done by magic. So, there is no cosmetic surgery; hence, no one can sport scars resulting from it.

DATV is not automatically a bad game because it has a character creator that has top surgery scars as an option, but having that as an option is a serious sign for this game was designed by people who either don't know the rules of said world, or don't care, or both.

There are more red flags of this kind, for instance, the flashlights and loudspeakers in Minrathous. Neither can exist because Thedas doesn't know electricity. And neither is needed either because of the magic in use. Another example would be mixing necromancy with bloodmagic.

No need to discuss why someone would add top surgery scars to a fantasy game or why all women you make in that character creator have boyish bodies. This is about the game.

So, let's talk about another elephant in the room: the combat. This is a screenshot of a dual-wielder and an archer fighting a monster with a large maul, or something like that.

No need to return to the discussion of why BioWare decided to abandon its signature combat system that was introduced for the first Baldur's Gate in favor of standard RT combat. But there is no way someone who is actually competent at making RT combat for action RPGs comes up with something looking like that.

And basically, every combat screen looks more less like that.

Here an example how something like that should look from Assassin's Creed Odyssey (with an actually red glowing enemy preforming an unblockable attack):

Granted, AC Odyssey has floating numbers and some (rare) VFX as well. But I think, you get the point here.

[roseeycreates-blog]

✨Non-bender Lin✨

inspired by this ask to @risingsoleil 😊 The idea is so interesting plus I got to incorporate some of my faves in it so yeah~

So this is my take on non-bender Lin :3

Korra gets her bending back because she’s the Avatar, but she can’t restore anyone else’s bending. So, Lin stays a nonbender.

In Book 2, Lin leaves the police force and goes to the South Pole to recover from PTSD, she has nightmares of Amon taking her bending, and hallucinations. Katara takes care of her during this time.

Lin also gets closer to Tenzin's kids during this period.

Jinora and Ikki feel bad for their Aunt Lin losing her bending while saving them, and they start hanging out with her more often.

They visit her during therapy sessions, bringing flowers and spending time with her their Gran Gran.

Meelo, being Meelo, calls her “Lady Hero” every chance he gets.

Meanwhile, Pema, already dealing with postpartum depression, starts worrying that Lin isn’t just getting closer to Tenzin but also to her family. She’s feeling insecure and suspects Lin is trying to take her place.

Tenzin and the kids reassure Pema that this isn’t the case. But still, Pema occasionally accuses Tenzin of seeing Lin, but the kids would back him up, saying, “No, Mom, we were with Aunt Lin, and Dad was at work.”

In Book 3, Lin is back on her feet and joins Team Avatar on their search for the New Airbenders. Asami, being the genius she is, comes up with a new tool for Lin:

Asami designs a maneuver gear (like Attack on Titan's ODM Gear) that mimics how metalbenders use cables for mobility. It allows Lin to navigate the battlefield as before, despite no longer having her bending.

Since Lin is still, and always will be an incredible fighter, She creates retractable blades (like in Assassin’s Creed) that Lin can use as a weapon since she refuses to use the electric gloves

As time passes, Pema starts to feel better, but her suspicions about Lin never completely fade. Now that Lin is playing a major role in saving the Air Nation and working closely with Tenzin, the lingering doubts continue to plague her. Eventually, Pema reaches her breaking point. Despite Tenzin’s constant reassurance and honesty, she realizes she can’t keep living with these doubts or stay in a marriage without fully trusting him. With a heavy heart, Pema decides to divorce him.

During their mission, Lin and Tenzin are working together again, but this time, Tenzin is 10,000x more protective of Lin. Why? Because she can’t bend anymore, and he’s constantly worried about her safety. However, he tries to hide it, knowing how upset Lin would be if she noticed. She doesn’t want pity or anyone treating her differently.

When the Red Lotus jumped on him, Tenzin came close to death, and in that moment, his life flashed before his eyes. He realized how much Lin had always been there for him, through everything (despite their past). When he was miraculously saved, the first person he saw was Lin approaching him. Overwhelmed with relief, he couldn’t help but reach out, trying to hold onto her, grateful that she was safe and sound.

By Book 4, Lin is looking even more badass with her upgraded gear. Asami added new features like bombs and improved blades, making Lin even more formidable. 

As for Tenzin and Lin’s relationship, it takes time for Lin to accept his feelings. She initially thinks he’s acting out of pity, guilt, or even because she's a second choice after Pema divorced him. But Tenzin works hard to prove that’s not the case. He truly loves her and genuinely wants her back, and he’s determined to show her that his feelings are real. "Just like old times" :3

[fuck-you-upmusicbracket]

The Other Side of Paradise (Glass Animals)

Bye bye baby blue/I wish you could see the wicked truth/Caught up in a rush, it's killing you/Screaming at the sun, you blow into/Curled up in a grip when we were us/Fingers in a fist like you might run/I settle for a ghost I never knew/Superparadise I held on to

"It's just like. The angstiest of songs. If you listen to it you get it."

The Mind Electric (Miracle Musical)

See how the serfs work the ground (See how they fall)/And they give it all they've got/And they give it all they've got/And you give it all you've got 'til your down/See how the brain plays around/And you fall inside a hole you couldn't see/And you fall inside a hole inside a-/Someone help me

Understand what’s going on inside my mind/Doctor, I can’t tell if I’m not me

Nuns commence incanting as the lightning strikes mine temples thus/Electrifying mine chambers wholly, scorching out thine sovereignty so/Spiralling down thy majesty, I beg of thee have mercy on me/I was just a boy, you see! I plead of thee, have sympathy for me!

"The lyrics just hit hard with all of the imagery and shit, being used alongside the song glitching and a 3 minute long sequence (an un-glitched version of the song) that plays backwards in full before the song begins, conjure up a very interesting view/idea/image of losing your sanity. Plus, the song has a really interesting history in terms of its creation."

"first listen: "damn its weird that this has itself backwards haha" second listen: ⚡️⚡️🧠SEE HOW THE BRAIN PLAYS AROUND🌩😈AND YOU FALL INSIDE A HOLE YOU COULDNT SEE☁️⚡️AND YOU FALL INSIDE A HOLE INSIDE A🤴🗣SOMEONE HELP ME⛈️🪐UNDERSTAND WHATS GOING ON INSIDE MY MIND🗣⚡️DOCTOR I CANT TELL IF IM NOT ME!!!🌩🌩☄️ anyway, there are actually 2 versions of this song !! since the first half of the song is the second half backwards, but one of the halves has a series of artistic glitches and repeats and skips! the "distorted version", which is what youll find on spotify, has the glitchy half played forwards, and the "nondistorted version", which is what the official channel posted on youtube, is reversed so the unglitched half plays forwards! its a remaster of a previous song Joe Hawley worked on as a member of Tally Hall called "Inside the Mind of Simon", and it has TONS of little easter eggs and details scattered throughout. distorted speech from old movies, clips from old songs, theres this part where chanting voices sing "axon, dendrite" and "help me" over and over which (imo) you really only hear if you know to look for them, theres an intricate synth arpeggio throughout the entire climax of the song that im in love with— its the source of the synth tune in the next song on the album, Labyrinth (the funny "i am the mouse" song)! i have yet to find a blorbo i cant picture to it but considering that my main oc's theme is madness, its her perfect chance to star. in conclusion, your honor, I love the mind electric."

"it's a story of a man getting sentenced to an asylum for a murder he didn't commit, and there he is subjected to electroshock therapy. the synth alone fucked me up the first time I heard it. not to mention the awesome lyrics and various styles throughout the song. oh also the first 3ish minutes of the song are in reverse. so there's that."

"Somehow I feel like it's the story of my life. Also, the first half of the song is the second half of the song played in reverse."

The Mind Electric submitted by @lesleyn +@omegasmileyface +@that-bi-fan + others

[frostedclock-writes]

Alastor x ♀️! Reader

Path to Damnation

---

Part 1 (Prologue)

Warning: Rated 18+ (just as a general rule of thumb)

---

You are the new resident of the hotel, but you aren't there to redeem yourself. No you are repaying a debt owed and it might cost you more then you bargained for. What should you report to Vox on this?

It was always a bit stuffy inside the conference room, the aquarium walls with circling sharks kept you on edge. Though you kept your composure as Mr. Vox ran his electric blue claw like didget around the rim of his glass.

" Simple enough instructions? Our last effort didn't even last the night. " Vox made a scoff of a laugh. " But with this new fancy hotel, " he put on a large smile and made a mocking excited gestured, then rolled his eyes and looked down at his glass, " it should be easy, you will give me a report every week on the hotel and what that fucker is up to with this damn scheme. "

" I think I can handle it, Mr. Vox. " You give a grin and put a hand on your hip. " It's perfect, they are hiring for a second maid thanks to all of their fancy new rooms and I know how to clean up a mess. "

The grin stretched across Vox's screen. " Then don't fail us. " He swirled his glass before taking a drink. " And we can call ourselves even. "

You nod and excuse yourself from the conference room as quickly as possible. You did have this. You haven't been in hell long, but you watched the news three months ago during the last extermination. You saw the faces of those who you will be calling coworker for now. You checked your phone as you got into the elevator. 1:15 p.m. You were expected to arrive and meet the head of staffing at the Hazbin Hotel, the woman named Vaggie. Room and board is included as pay for now, not that you didn't have a flow of funds right now from your current employers. Report and watch. Remember that. A job. Nothing more.

The ding of the elevator brought you back into reality and you stepped out into the bottom floor of the Vee Tower. The crisp smell of electronic and perfumed workers left your nose and was replaced with sulfur and shit. It was something you had gotten used to, among other things that might have once made you cringe or look away in life now just seemed normal. The walk through town was a dangerous one at the best of times, but you knew how to handle yourself. If you didn't, you would have been double dead by this point. You slip your way through the distracted crowds of sinners gathered around the store front of the Vee tower.

Your heels clicked against the concrete of the sidewalk as you made your way through Pentagram City, you looked at your phone again at the directions to the hotel. The Hazbin Hotel. It had been the butt of everyone's joke just nine months prior, but after that little maid had killed the leader of the exterminaton angels it changed. Which has really put a craw in your employers ass. The Vees had hoped the Radio Demon - who was helping with this 'princess passion project ' as they had put it - had disappeared again after that battle but much to Vox's dismay, it seems like he's a lot harder to kill.

You stop as you reach large wrought iron gates and a winding cobblestone pathway to a massive hotel, a large golden statue was in front of the entrance. Is that a dragon goat? You know what, it's hell, why should anything surprise you at this point. You gaze up at it as you pass beneath it on your way to the French double doors, it was massive and the whine of the gold made it seem like someone polished it everyday.

" Quite a work of art, don't you agree?" The crackle of static was the only warning you had before the filtered voice hit your ears from behind you.

You spun on your heels and you were looking into the intense red gaze of the deer demon known as Alastor. He seemed to chuckle at your response and stood up straight from the slightly leaned posture he had. " Oh, yes. Hi. Hello. " You clear your throat and keep your gaze on his smiling mug. Remember why you are here. " I'm here to find a Vaggie ? I am the new hire."

Alastor looked over you for a moment, his eyes drifted from your shoes up to your face and he made a hum sound. " Ah, so she was serious in requiring more help. She only needed to ask and I could have provided. But a fresh face to the hotel will do just nicely. " He extended his hand, " Alastor, quite a pleasure to meet you. Though I am sure you have heard of me no doubt."

You make a laugh and you take his hand, he shook it a little hard and you felt your body wiggle in the force of his shake. " Of course, Well, at least what you used to do was rather famous in the circles I ran in. Though you havent done much in the past eight years. "

His eyebrow twitched, he made a laugh. Loud, a bit forced. " Ha ha, well yes, I had taken a well needed vacation and now my time is taken up by this little project I am helping with."

The sound of a door opening, and a stern female voice called over. " Alastor, Niffty got caught in the chandelier again, could you- oh. " The white haired woman walked over, she had her hair pulled back in a ponytail that was held with a red ribbon and her bangs covered one eye. " You must be who I talked with on the phone. " Then she shot a glare at the Radio Demon. " Are you fucking scaring off our new help?"

Alastor put his hands behind his back. " Nothing of the sort! I was merely introducing myself, as a hotel manager should, hm? Now it seems I am needed elsewhere, " he looked over his shoulder as he began to walk away. His gaze on you for a moment, your stomach felt like it was in a vice with the way his red eyes met yours. " Looking forward to working with you. "

Then he was gone.

You blink and see Vaggie's fingers snapping in front of you. " Oh, sorry, did you say something, ma'am?" You day as you look over at her.

Her stern face softened a bit and she put her hand on her hip. " Come, let me show you the room you will be staying in and we can introduce you to everyone else. Don't worry, they aren't all like... Him." Her nose crinkled as she glanced in the direction that Alastor had left.

" Oh, alright. How many people are staying here anyways?" You ask as you fall in line behind her as Vaggie went inside.

Vaggie made a hum, her hands went behind her back like she was in a slight march. " Currently? We only have one guest, Angel Dust. Our staff includes myself, Husk the concierge and bartender, Niffty is our other resident maid, and you just met Alastor. We often have Charlie's father here as well as 'hotel manager consultant ' as he calls himself. And of course Charlie herself, she's particularly excited to meet you. "

She seemed to speak in a fond tone towards the end, you chuckle and smile. " Well if she is running the place, it's only right I meet her as well."

" She's busy right now prepping your welcoming party. She's going a little crazy in the new banquet hall. " Vaggie made a breath of a laugh. " So I hope you are hungry.

The hallways were carpeted in a elegant red with gold along the edges, the walls were a cream with gold molding along the top and bottom, it was almost a bit intimidating to be walking through in your dirty shoes. Thankfully you had dressed nicely at least in a simple button up blouse and an ankle length skirt, professional was what you had been going for and from what you could remember this outfit fit the bill.

She lead you up to the room you will be staying in for the foreseeable future. It was large, with the carpet being a plain dark red with a queen size bed with plain sheets and a dresser in the corner next to a dark wooden door. You assumed it must lead to a bathroom.

" It's bare, but you are welcome to decorate how you want. Charlie wants everyone to be able to ' express themselves' in healthy ways. " Vaggie explained as you made your way to the bed and felt the soft sheets.

It didn't smell foul in here you noticed. Everything had a sweet scent like apple blossoms and nature, you had almost forgotten what it had smelled like. It was comforting almost, but at the same time you had gotten so used to the copper and sulphur smell that seeped through Hell.

" That's fine. " You made a small chuckle, you clap your hands together as you spin around. " So... A party?"

[sappho-made-me-do-it]

Listen to me cuz this has me up and dripping at 2:26am. Having someone use my oral fixation to their advantage.

Me being on my knees looking up to them with drool down my chin as they keep working their fingers in and out of my mouth. They play with my tongue, my teeth, their fingers just roaming freely. When they’re done they decide to blind fold me and then man girl handle me throwing me in bed laying facing up, close to the edge, my head almost dangling. Me laying there all wiggly. Knees apparently too close… they ask me “What’s wrong babygirl, what are you hiding?” As they force my legs open to see how dripping wet I am. “Well, would you look at that. Just as expected… you love so much being treated like the pretty little toy you are, huh?” I can barely say anything, just whimpering at their touch, nodding and moving my hips up and down as they slap my pussy making me whine in pleasure.

They leave me there for a bit… It gets quiet… only thing loud is my mind all excited wondering what are they looking for, what are they going to do to me, ugh! Finally I feel them caressing my face. Their electric touch giving me tingles down my whole body. They run their hands slowly from my face, down my neck, stopping and groping at my tits, tracing my belly and finally landing where i missed them the most. This time, they didn’t need to force my legs open since they were automatically spreading out as their hands made their way down. I feel them sitting by my side. I can suddenly feel their mouth on my tits giving them small kisses…Almost simultaneously…they slide their fingers inside me feeling how easy they slipped in as they suck on my nipples and play with their tongue on them. I can’t help it but moan to their touch. Rough but gentle. Just a perfect combination. Fingers curling up inside me, tits getting sucked… fuck! What else?!

They get up and stand right in front of my face. Grabbing it and making me open wide as they give small slaps on my cheeks so i can stay focus. I can’t help but smirk at this cuz they know how much I am enjoying this. I think my wetness is enough evidence for that. Finally they lean closer and I can feel something poking at my face. Without being asked to, or guided to, my mouth is wide open trying to catch their strap in my mouth. So, so hungry for them. Finally my tongue can feel it sliding in and out slowly. Feeling them leaning closer to me, placing one hand on my waist and curling their fingers in my cunt at once as they pick up the pace at face-fucking me. I don’t even care if my gag reflex tries to act up… I will do my best to be the most perfect toy for them.

You are telling me that I get to cum while having my mouth fucked over and over and my hole full with their fingers?! Or maybe not… maybe they decide to edge me and make me extra desperate for their strap to be filling me up instead… or what if they pull out completely leaving me all spread out in bed drool down my face, pussy empty and drenched while they just lean on the door frame looking at their messy artwork. What would you do next?

3:26am

[steddieas-shegoes]

"Well, what did you expect?" For the headcanon thing

Well I hope you’re good with me making this funny because my heart needs that

Eddie was on a mission.

Steve said that if he remodeled his basement, he could use it for Hellfire.

So he used some of that government money, bought some basic tools and paint, a new rug even, and got started.

The kids had helped Steve clean out what was stored down there weeks ago, so Eddie just had to turn on the light and…

The light wouldn’t turn on.

Fine. Probably just a blown bulb. He can change that.

Except it wasn’t just a blown bulb. It was something with the wiring, which was above his nonexistent pay grade.

So he removed the light feature entirely, shut off the electricity to the basement, opened the window, and started messing with them.

“Eddie, why won’t the lights turn on?” Steve yelled, possibly hours later.

“Working on the basement light!”

Steve was suddenly on the stairs to the basement with his arms crossed.

“Do you know what you’re doing?”

“No.”

“Why are you doing it then?”

“It already wasn’t working so I figured I couldn’t make it worse.”

Steve sighed.

“I have to turn the electricity back on. You can try again tomorrow.”

Eddie agreed, pretty certain he would have to enlist Wayne’s help.

“The electricity isn’t working!”

“What are you talking about? Just flip the breaker!”

“I am!”

Steve was back on the stairs.

“How did you shut off the electricity?”

“I just flipped all the breakers!”

“And then?”

“That’s it! I was just rewiring a couple things for this light and had to cut one.”

“Which one?”

“I dunno. It was a white one?”

“That’s one of the main lines of the house, Eddie.”

“Well, what did you expect? I don’t know what I’m doing! I’m not an electrician!”

Steve rubbed his eyes and forehead.

“Can Wayne fix it?”

“Maybe.”

“We’re going to get him and you’re never stepping foot in this basement again.”

“But-“

“No.” Steve shook his head. “Just no.”

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

years later someone buys the plot, turns on the lights and is suddenly worshipped as a sun god by a bunch of puppets falling apart at the seams

pov you break into the spooky abandoned Playfellow Studios building for shits and giggles

[aquanutart]

Nyaha~! Caught in my electroweb! ♡

[bamgeut]

chipi chipi chapa chapa dubi dubi daba daba