#i know that last tag seems like a mess up but i dont think it is? i think i meant it like that?

[menyuui]

JUST A LITTLE LONGER

༉‧₊˚. synopsis. you and remus break up because neither of you knows how to be honest about their feelings #flops

༉‧₊˚. tags. remus lupin, remus lupin x reader, angst with a happy ending, hurt to comfort, inaccurate hogwarts layouts, ooc maruaders era characters, lowkey rich!remus lupin, headcanoning him as coming from money i dont give a gaf, plot holes asf

༉‧₊˚. notes. this is my first ever fic and also i wrote it at 3 am and it took me 5 hours i literally have not slept so i apologize for inconsistencies and inaccuracies and also my poor unedited grammar and spelling pls forgive me also the ending and kind of the whole this is so rushed sorry i literally wrote this on my phone while bed rotting pls forgive me

REMUS LUPIN, had asked you out in the winter of sixth year, minutes before you boarded separate trains to go home for the holidays. he'd come running down your platform, coat buttoned to the top, hair a mess, juggling three different suitcases, how could you possibly say no to such a display?

to be entirely honest at that point you had been waiting weeks for remus to gain the courage to ask you out and you said 'yes!' faster than you'd like to admit but you'd live the embarrassment a billion times over if it meant you got to end up with remus in the end.

he had spent months courting you, planning dates and activities and introducing you to his tight knit group of friends, not to mention the years he had already spent pining after you (not that he'd ever confess that truth to you). with all the effort he had put in to getting you to date him you're not sure how you ended up here, like this. seventh year had started off so well, fresh off the train after spending the last week of summer at the lupin estate while remus's parents conducted business overseas. it seemed like you two were more in love than ever before, if that was even possible, so why wouldn't remus just tell you he was a werewolf?

it's nearing the end of november and remus and his friends were off on a 4 day "study group field trip", an excursion that they somehow convinced professor mcgonagall to go along with. you knew what that meant though, it meant that the full moon was coming up and remus would be spending the next couple of days in the hospital wing with only the company of madame pompfrey his aching body. last month it had been an impromptu trip to james's childhood home, the month before the four of them had all conveniently caught the flu and could not see you under any circumstances out of fear of spreading their infection. every month before that since you had begun dating was excuse after excuse, and you weren't sure how much more you could take.

you had become privy to remus's secret two months after your relationship began. you were never stupid, far from it, in fact you were always quite perceptive so it shouldn't have come as a surprise to anyone when you figured out what your boyfriend was trying to hide. it was easy to figure out the remaining players in the game after you uncovered the secret. obviously james, sirius, and peter had known, but it seems along with the three of his closest friends, lily evans was also let in on the confidential matter.

nothing changed for you after you had found out. you loved remus, you still love remus, nothing would ever change that.

so why won't he just be honest with you?

for as long as you could you staved off thinking about it any further than the surface level. you pushed the thoughts and doubts deep inside your mind, never letting yourself steep on it long enough to actually feel bad about it. until now, the christmas holiday was rapidly approaching, just mere weeks away, which also meant that your one year anniversary was just around the corner. your parents had been begging you to bring him home for the holiday, even if just one day could be spared, they just wanted to meet him. all of sudden, all the thoughts you had been avoiding had been pushed to the forefront of your mind.

despite your best efforts, your endless sleepless nights of attempted rationalization, and your undying love for your boyfriend, you could only come up with one answer as to why your boyfriend wouldn't let you in on his inner-inner circle:

he was going to break up with you.

to practical anyone else who knew the two of you, this would never even be thought possible.

but to you? it was the only possible reason.

it all made sense, obviously the marauders would know, they were his lifelong friends, practically his brothers. and of course lily would know, she was james's soulmate. all these people who knew he had let in on his secret were guaranteed to be in his life forever, which could only mean that you weren't.

so that's where you find yourself, on the last day of your boyfriend's montly disappearing act, worn down from the lack of sleep and the excess of worry, dreading the end of your relationship.

if you could have it your way the relationship would never end. you were completely sure that remus lupin was the only man you were ever going to love, but where you saw a future, remus only saw an opportunity to have one last school romance before he got started on his real life.

meanwhile in the hospital wing . . .

"i simply don't understand why you can't just tell her moony?!" sirius was fed up with his friend, the events of the previous full moon fueling his annoyance.

remus rolled his eyes and turned over in the creaky hospital bed, groaning at the added pressure on his bruised ribbed but grateful to be hidden away from sirius's glare.

sirius could just strangle remus right now.

"ughhhh!!! you're so-" remus wasn't looking at him but he knew that sirius was shaking his fists in anger while james and peter looked on amusedly.

james attempted to ease the situation, "alright come off him padfoot, the poor lad's just been through the wringer." his efforts not in vain as sirius mumbled a quick "whatever." before turning away from the trio of his friends.

"he's right though." james added with a tight lip.

this caused remus to roll his eyes once more, "get out." he groaned, clamping his pillow over his ears in frustration.

james lowly chuckled at his distressed friend, while attempting to soothe sirius who had just let out a scoff. peter looked at the pair as if to say 'let me try', before scooting onto the edge of remus's bed.

"remus...as annoying as sirius is," he started, giving sirius a pointed glare, "i think it would help us understand better, if you just told us why you don't want her to know."

when remus remained unmoving and silent under the protection of the pillow over his face, peter shrugged. james and sirius let out a quiet sigh, nearly giving up on an explanation when remus's mumbling cut them off. from beneath his pillow he spoke a brief and muffled statement, unintelligible to even his best friends.

"what?" sirius demanded with a judgemental eyebrow raised.

remus lifted the pillow off his face, tucking it under his head once more. still with his head turned away from the group he sighed deeply, "if i tell her...she's going to leave me."

a silence overtook the quartet. they all knew this had long been remus's greatest fear. flashbacks to nights post-full moons comforting a sobbing and broken remus as he begged for someone to just end the misery that was his existence. he'd long known he was destined for a life alone, bouncing between the couches of his best friends and their future partners and eventual children. this was the way it had to be. until you said yes, your mere presence made remus feel like he was being pulled out of the pits of hell.

but remus wasn't an idiot, he was on the verge of graduating and he had to be honest with his reality. you weren't meant for this life, this darkness, not when you were so kind, so pure. it was never going to last.

"you don't know that remus." peter stated as-a-matter-a-factly. and he meant it too, peter liked you, he really liked you. you had always been nice to him, and funny, and you made a real effort to get along with them, which he knows can be hard. he had faith in you.

remus cut off his mental praise with a cynical laugh, "yes i do."

peter didn't know what to say, he didn't know how to comfort his friend. james thought that he did.

"then she's not the one for you!" james encouraged. it did little to soothe remus's aching heart. somewhere deep inside him remus knew you were, the one for him. he loved you so dearly and he knew you loved him the same, he just couldn't stand the thought of you looking at him differently.

he knew it had to end. but was it so selfish of him to just want a little bit more time with you. seventh year was nearly half way through, remus would let you go after hogwarts, free to live and love like you deserved. he had come to terms with the fact that 10 years down the line when he was long gone that there would be some lucky fella who got you to fall for him bent over a crib carrying a baby with the eyes of the girl he had once loved, so can't he just have you for a little bit longer?

remus had already begun to see the signs. you were pulling away, being more distant. you were never in your dorm, always tucked away in the potions classroom during your free time or checking out books from the restricted section of the library. he knew the end was near.

all of sudden remus had forgotten about the pain of his injuries and could only focus on the pit forming in his chest. he didn't want to talk about this anymore.

his friends had taken note of his sullen face and ceased their talking. he pulled the blanket over his shoulders and tucked his face into the stiff pillow, they got the message.

as they left the room sirius offered a, "we'll check in on you after dinner moony." his promise was left unacknowledged.

three weeks later . . .

less than a month later your worst nightmare came true. six days before holiday break began, six days before your one year anniversary, remus lupin broke up with you.

he had approached you while you were sitting by the great lake, unassuming and oblivious to your impending doom and shattered your entire world without so much as a hint of despair on his beautiful face.

in all your pain and anguish you didn't know what to say, you offered a meek "okay." scared to say more out of fear of bursting into tears.

remus took your lack of words as a clear sign of your impassiveness about the situation. a indicator of your relief to be rid of the burden that was his existence, and he turned away and left you there, sitting on the stont bench, silent tears streaming down your face.

that was five days ago. remus had departed from the school early, to get home to prepare for the arrival of his friends and his next transformation.

you, on the other hand, had retreated to the safety of your dorm room shortly after the incident at the lake and had solemnly left your room since. with practically the entire school soon to be gone home for christmas and a letter sent to your parents explaining that you'd be spending the holiday season at a "friend's" (hiding away in the safety of your bed in the walls of hogwarts) you were looking forward to getting a moment alone.

but then you heard the voices of lily and alice pass by your door, "aren't you just in such despair that your beloved james is going to be away from you for the entire holiday?" alice teased lily who laughed in embarrassment in response.

you suddenly remembered the anniversary slash christmas present you had been preparing for remus for nearly a year.

pratically flying out of bed you dropped to your knees and began digging through the trunk at the foot of your bed. when your eyes locked in on the small and neatly wrapped box at the bottom of the trunk, you hesitated for a moment. pushing down any feelings of doubt and resentment you made your way to the great hall.

you stood outside the great hall, fingers curled around the neatly wrapped gift, your pulse drumming against your ribcage. it felt heavier than it should—more than just paper and ribbon, it held pieces of what could’ve been.

the moment you stepped through the doors, the familiar laughter of james, sirius, and peter met your ears. they were huddled together at their usual spot, carefree as ever. for a brief second, you wondered if remus was already missing them.

james spotted you first, his grin faltering just slightly before he called out, "fancy seeing you here."

sirius turned, one brow arching in curiosity. "i half expected you to hex one of us on sight."

you rolled your eyes but couldn’t quite muster a comeback. instead, you held the small box out towards them. "i—" your throat tightened. "i was hoping one of you could give this to remus."

sirius exchanged a glance with james, his expression unreadable. peter just looked between you all, silent as ever.

james took the box carefully, turning it in his hands. "is this—"

"a gift," you cut in. "it was supposed to be for him before we—well. before everything."

the silence stretched, lingering in the air between you. "you don't have to say it's from me, in fact you probably shouldn't, just say it's from one of you, it doesn't matter to me anyways. just make sure he gets it before christmas." then sirius sighed, shaking his head. "you can pretend it doesn’t matter," he said, his voice softer than you’d expected. "but it does."

you swallowed hard, looking away. "i just want him to have it."

james studied you for a moment before his grin returned—lighter now, but somehow more genuine. "consider it delivered."

relief, bittersweet as it was, spread through you. you met his gaze, offering a small, grateful smile. "thanks, james."

you turned to go, and before you could take a step, sirius called out, "you know, we’re not just his friends."

you glanced back.

"you can talk to us too," he said, a little gentler now. "if you ever want to."

you hesitated before nodding and walking away.

the next day the trio left on the train along with the rest of the school, save for a frw lonely students like yourself, and so began your holiday isolation.

christmas eve day . . .

the fireplace crackled, casting flickering light over the modest living room. outside, a fresh layer of snow blanketed the ground, muffling the sounds of the world beyond the lupins' home.

remus sat cross-legged on the floor, the warmth from the fire settling into his bones. across from him, james wrestled with a particularly stubborn ribbon on a present, while sirius lounged back against the couch, shaking a small box near his ear as if trying to decipher its contents by sound alone. peter had already unwrapped a tin of biscuits and was halfway through his second one.

remus's parents watched them with quiet amusement. hope lupin, ever the gracious host, had insisted on feeding them first, hot cocoa and freshly baked mince pies, before they even touched the presents. lyall, standing near the doorway, looked content just observing, though remus didn't miss the way his father's eyes lingered on him longer than usual, as if already steeling himself for what was to come.

"this one’s yours, moony." james nudged a parcel toward him, his grin wide and eager.

remus hesitated, then peeled the paper back, revealing a thick woolen jumper, the kind you’d expect from an old but loving grandmother, except this one was navy blue with a golden moon stitched into the chest.

sirius leaned over, inspecting it. "practical. warm. a little on the nose, if you ask me."

remus huffed a laugh, running his fingers over the embroidery. "you all planned this, didn’t you?"

peter shoved another biscuit into his mouth and shrugged. "you need it. full moon’s always brutal in winter."

hope’s smile faltered for just a moment, but she recovered quickly, reaching for another gift to pass to james. remy saw the quiet worry in her eyes, no matter how many times they did this, she’d never truly get used to it.

but tonight, for now, they could pretend.

"open mine next," sirius said, tossing a wrapped box at remus. "and don’t be gentle about it."

remus rolled his eyes but did as he was told, tearing through the paper to find—

"merlin," he breathed. "how did you even—"

sirius smirked. "you really think i’d let you go through another transformation without something decent to listen to after? it’s all the best records, charmed to play however you want. figured music would help, even if you’re too out of it to remember much."

remus swallowed hard, a lump forming in his throat.

james, clearly sensing the shift in mood, clapped a hand on remus's shoulder. "we know tomorrow won’t be easy," he said. "but we’re here now. and we’ll be there then too—same as always."

the fire had burned lower now, flickering embers casting shadows along the walls as the night stretched on. gift wrappings lay in scattered piles, forgotten in the excitement of the evening, but remus hadn’t moved from his spot on the floor. something about nights like these, the quiet and warmth of shared laughter, made the inevitability of tomorrow feel just a little easier to carry.

until james cleared his throat, reaching into the pile of gifts they’d yet to hand out.

"almost forgot," he said, a little too casual, passing a small, carefully wrapped box into remus's hands. "got this for you."

remus blinked down at it, frowning. he hadn’t seen that package among the others earlier, but he tore at the wrapping anyway, uncovering a small glass vial—midnight blue liquid shifting within, thick yet unnervingly smooth.

silence settled over the room.

lyall had gone stiff.

remus stared at the potion, "what is this supposed to—"

"wolfsbane." his father was staring at the potion like it might explode. "where did you get that." lyall muttered, stepping forward, studying the liquid as though willing it to reveal some flaw. "i’ve been trying for years, and every time it’s come with unbearable side effects. this—this isn’t easy to come by, let alone brew properly."

james shifted hesitant for a moment, considering telling the truth, scratching the back of his neck. "oh you know, connections."

remus narrowed his eyes, but sirius kicked at his ankle, distracting him with a smirk. "does it matter? it’s for you. besides what even is it? like some wicked liquor or what?"

lyall shook his head, grabbing the vial and turning it slightly in his palm. "it’s meant to lessen the effects of the transformation. nearly impossible to get right. but this—" he turned the bottle again, watching the way the liquid clung smoothly to the glass. "this is perfect."

sirius opened his mouth, closed it again, then exchanged a glance with james. james stared at the potion, then at remus. then back at the potion.

peter’s eyes widened slightly.

not a single one of them spoke, but the realization settled in like a stone dropped into still water.

but remus didn’t have a clue. neither did his family.

james cleared his throat, easing his grin back into place, as if shaking off the weight of the moment. "well. guess you got lucky, moony. and i totally got jipped, thought i was getting a bargain on some extra concentrated firewhiskey."

remus rolled his eyes, cradling the vial in his palm, looking it over himself now. "yeah. guess so."

hope glanced between them all but didn’t press further.

lyall was still frowning slightly, as if running through the possibilities in his mind.

sirius nudged james sharply. james barely acknowledged it. peter just blinked, staring at the bottle again. the fire crackled, filling the quiet as remus tucked the potion carefully into his pocket, blissfully unaware of the revelation hanging in the air.

outside, the snow continued to fall. inside, the warmth remained, but it carried something heavier now. something unspoken.

the morning after the full moon was quiet, the kind of quiet that settled into the bones of the house. the fire in the hearth had burned low, and upstairs, remus was still resting, recovering.

james, sirius, and peter trudged downstairs, sluggish but grateful for the scent of breakfast wafting through the air. lyall was already at the kitchen table, nursing a cup of tea, looking like he hadn’t gotten much sleep.

sirius was the first to drop into a chair, stretching his arms above his head. "rough night?"

lyall huffed a quiet laugh, shaking his head. "you lot know all too well that every full moon is. hope and i can't tell you how grateful we are for you guys."

james shrugged, remus was their friend, their best friend, taking care of him was a given, no sweat about it. grabbing a piece of toast, chewing absentmindedly he glanced at lyall. "about that potion—the wolfsbane—"

peter, still half-asleep, perked up at the mention of it.

sirius leaned forward. "you said it was nearly impossible to get right. but you've tried?"

lyall exhaled, setting his cup down. "for years," he admitted. "every time i thought i was close, it turned out worse than before. the headaches were unbearable, the nosebleeds frequent. cramps so bad i couldn’t stand some days. seizures." he paused, shaking his head slightly. "it never worked, no matter how many adjustments i made."

peter swallowed hard. "and you had to stop?"

lyall nodded. "for months. sometimes years. the toll it took, for all my love i couldn't continue."

silence fell over the kitchen only the sound of breakfast being cooked could be heard.

james stared at his toast, unmoving. sirius glanced between them all, brows knitting together. peter looked like he wanted to disappear into his seat.

the realization settled in, slow and heavy.

whoever had brewed that potion hadn’t had years to figure it out. they’d done it recently. quickly.

which meant—

sirius sat up straighter, his mouth opening slightly before closing again. james pressed his lips together, tapping his fingers against the table. peter’s expression tightened, eyes flicking toward the staircase, as if looking up toward where remus was still asleep.

you had gone through hell to make that potion.

the three of them sat with the thought, none of them daring to say it aloud.

lyall sighed, rubbing a hand over his face. "whatever miracle brewed that vial, i hope it was worth it."

james forced a chuckle. "yeah," he said, voice quieter than usual. "me too." sirius reached for his tea, taking a slow sip, gaze unfocused. peter didn’t say anything at all.

outside, the frost clung to the windows, the world cold and still.

meanwhile at hogwarts . . .

the hospital wing was quiet, save for the soft clinking of vials and the occasional rustle of parchment as madame pomfrey jotted down notes. you sat perched on the edge of a bed, your posture stiff and hands trembling slightly as you clutched the edge of the blanket.

"you should’ve come to me sooner," pomfrey said, her tone stern but not unkind. she set a steaming goblet on the bedside table, the potion within swirling a pale green. "you’ve been pushing yourself far beyond the limits of a witch your age."

you swallowed hard, voice barely above a whisper. "i needed to finish it."

pomfrey sighed, pulling up a chair and sitting across from you. "y/n you’ve been receiving treatment for nearly a year now. headaches, nosebleeds, muscle cramps, they could've seriously harmed you."

you nodded, gaze fixed on the floor. "i—i couldn’t stop. not when i was so close."

pomfrey’s expression softened, though her worry was evident. "but darling the appearance spells? hiding the toll it’s taken on you? on your body?"

you hesitated, thinking about the months of cast appearance spells to hide your frail body littered with signs of wear, then nodded again. "no one could know. it was easier to pretend everything was fine."

pomfrey reached out, placing a gentle hand on her arm. "you’ve done something extraordinary, but at what cost? your body needs time to recover. you can’t keep hiding this."

pomfrey studied your face for a long moment, then sighed again, standing to retrieve another vial from the cabinet. "rest. no more spells, no more pushing yourself. if you don’t take care of yourself now, there won’t be anything left to give."

you nodded, your resolve unwavering despite the exhaustion etched into your features. as pomfrey handed you the next potion, you took it without hesitation, the weight of your choices settling heavily in the quiet room.

you’re halfway through choking down the bitter potion when the door creaks open.

"thought i’d find you here."

the voice is unmistakable: smooth, lazy, edged with something sharp beneath its usual confidence.

sirius.

you freeze, setting the goblet down carefully before looking up. he stands at the entrance, arms crossed, gaze locked on you.

madame pomfrey straightens, clearly unimpressed. "mr. black, if you’re ill, i suggest you come back at a reasonable hour."

he barely acknowledges her, his focus never shifting from you.

"i’m fine," he says, but it’s directed at you, not her.

she lingers, exhaling through her nose. "five minutes. then she needs to rest."

once she disappears into her office, sirius steps forward, hands shoved into his coat pockets.

"so," he says, tilting his head, "you look like shit."

you roll your wyes, leaning back against the pillows. "i’m just...tired."

he scoffs. "right. sure. maybe that'd work on another idiot. try again."

you don’t answer.

sirius exhales sharply, pacing at the foot of your bed. "wolfsbane," he mutters. "you brewed it."

your throat tightens. "you already knew that."

he shakes his head. "we didn’t. not until lyall told us how impossible it is to brew."

the weight of his words settles deep in your chest.

sirius watches you for a long moment before he speaks again. "you’ve been practically killing yourself for nearly a year."

you don’t deny it.

"why did you even do all of that—all of this," he gestures to your ailing body, "if you were just gonna let him dump you in the end?"

you jump on the defensive, "you think i wanted to get dumped?" you quip back, angrily.

"well you didn't try very hard not to." sirius accused with a glare.

"oh fuck off sirius." you scoff.

sirius relents, "why didn't you tell him you knew? why didn't you fight for him?" he asked genuinely.

you hesitate for a moment, why didn't you fight for him? "he didn't want me anymore sirius. i can't fix that."

sirius's face flashed in bewilderment. remus lupin? not wanting you? impossible. before he could oppose you continued, "i wanted to give him the chance to tell me on his own time, like he told you and james and peter and even lily for godsake. i wanted him to come to me when he was ready, i didn't want to confront him with it, like it was some kind of accusation. i wanted him to trust me." your voice broke at the end and sirius immediately felt horrible for even slightly raising his voice at you.

"i thought that if i just gave him time, he would, but where he saw forever with you guys, he just saw for now with me. i figured that's why he never told me, what's the point in going through all the agony for some girl he never planned on keeping around anyways."

sirius couldn't believe what he was hearing. how could you be so wrong. he wanted to grab you by the shoulders and shake you till you understood, he wanted to scream in your face that it wasn't true, that your mind was playing tricks on you, planting seeds of doubt about a man who loved you so wholeheartedly that it could kill him, but he didn't. because that wasn't his place, it was remus's.

so instead he grabbed your hand, and sat with you in the silence of the castle for as long as he could before he had to make his was back to his friends.

back at lupin manor . . .

the house is quiet when sirius returns, the cold pressing against his back as he steps through the front door. the fire in the living room crackles softly, illuminating the space with a warm glow.

remus is exactly where he left him, curled up on the couch, blanket draped over his shoulders, looking tired but better than he did last night. his head lifts slightly at the sound of the door closing.

"didn’t think you’d be back so soon," remus murmurs, voice rough with lingering exhaustion.

sirius lets out a short laugh, shoving his hands into his coat pockets. "yeah, well. didn’t feel like dragging it out."

remus shifts, turning his full attention toward him now. "how was hogsmeade?"

sirius scoffs, pulling off his coat and tossing it onto the armchair. "didn’t go."

remus frowns slightly. "thought you said you had a date."

sirius hesitates for a fraction of a second, then shrugs, like it’s nothing. "went to hogwarts instead."

remus’s brows knit together. "why?"

sirius exhales, dragging a hand through his hair before moving toward the couch, dropping onto the seat opposite remus. "to see y/n."

remus blinks, surprised. "she didn't go home for the holiday?"

sirius shakes his head, rubbing a hand over his face. "nope. found her in the hospital wing."

remus sits up a little straighter, something unreadable flickering in his expression. "what happened?"

sirius studies him for a long moment before speaking. "she’s been getting treated for almost a year."

remus’s lips part slightly, confusion settling in, in the year that they had dated remus never noticed her even looking vaguely ill let alone getting treated for something. "treated for what?"

sirius sighs, his voice quieter now. "the wolfsbane."

realization dawns slowly over remus’s face, his grip tightening on the blanket draped over his shoulders.

sirius continues, pomfrey said she’s been coming in with all kinds of shit. headaches, nosebleeds, muscle cramps. even seizures."

remus’s throat works, eyes darkening. "she knows?"

sirius watches him carefully. “she's known moony, since nearly the beginning. she did it for you.”

remus exhales sharply, looking away, staring into the fire. "that doesn't make any sense, there's no way she knew and she stayed with me."

sirius can't help but roll his eyes at his stubborn friend, "is that actually true or did you just make yourself believe that? i mean did she actually ever say anything indicative of her being this horrible twisted person you've made her out to be?"

remus is silent.

"you don't get it moony. it's not her. it's me. i'm the dark and twisted one, she doesn't want this sirius. she doesn't deserve this." remus cried out.

sirius was in despair over his friend's anguish, he looked around desperately for something, anything to prove that what he was saying was true, his eyes landed on the vial. he grabbed it, harshly shoving it in remus's shaking hands, "she does want it. and that right there is hard evidence. it works doesn't it? we all know it did, you've never been able to stand the day after a full-moon before let alone walk down the stairs by yourself." he rips the blanket of remus's lap, "she did that for you, without being asked, without being rewarded, and the expense of her own health."

remus looks down at his body, he's felt it all morning, the lessened ache of his bones and the surprising lack of deep cuts in his skin.

"you have got to stop this moony, this wallowing this–this hatred. it's going to kill you. she doesn't deserve this? well neither do you."

outside, the wind howls softly against the windows. inside, something unspoken lingers in the spaces between words, settling deep in the quiet.

one week later . . .

the black lake is still, the surface glass-like under the dull winter sky. the cold bites at your skin, but you don’t move, not yet. you just sit there, staring out at the water, letting the silence stretch.

you hear his footsteps before you hear his voice. the scene is all tok familiar.

“you look well.”

you tense, fingers curling slightly in the fabric of your cloak.

“so do you,” you reply, voice even, measured. you don’t turn to face him. instead, you push yourself to stand, brushing off your robes, ready to leave.

“i got it wrong.” his voice is wavering.

you pause mid-step. slowly, you turn your head just enough to glance at him. remus looks tired. not in the way he did after his monthly ritual, not just physically, but something else lingers in his expression. something heavier.

you don’t ask.

you grip the edges of your cloak tighter, keeping your face unreadable. “about what?”

he exhales, shaking his head slightly, like he’s still sorting through the thoughts tangled up inside him. “about you,” he says. “about—about what you were trying to do.”

you shift, drawing your arms closer to yourself, bracing against the cold.

remus steps forward, just barely, his breath visible in the air between you.

“i didn’t see it,” he admits, his voice low. “not until sirius told me.” he looks at you then, steady and unguarded. “i got it wrong,” he repeats, softer this time.

the words settle between you, raw and honest. you don’t move for a long moment, your pulse drumming against your ribs, your breath short against the crisp air.

then, finally, you speak. "i don't know what you want me to say remus."

"just listen?" he offers.

you don't move, you still don't look at him. he takes it as indication to continue, "i’ve loved you for so long. longer than i even knew what love meant, longer than i ever thought i deserved to feel it. and for so much of that time, i did nothing about it. not because i didn’t want to, but because i didn’t know how much time i had." your face flashes in concern at this.

"with everything i am, this condition, this mind that turns against itself more often than not, i didn’t know how long i was going to last. i didn’t let myself imagine a future, because what would be the point? then seventh year came, and suddenly there was a deadline. graduation. the end of everything familiar. and i figured, why not, right? why not make the most of the time i had left with you? i love you so much, and i wanted to tell you. i wanted to tell you my secret so badly, but you are so pure, so kind, so good, and i was afraid. afraid that if i told you, you’d see me differently. you’d see the monster in me, you'd see what i see in myself, and you would leave. and i know that was selfish—i know. but i just wanted more time. i just wanted a little longer with you before you had to go." tears are streaming down his face at this point, down yours too, you can't bear to look at him, you remaining resolve would crumble, you know it.

"then you started to pull away after november, and i couldn’t–i couldn’t watch you leave. i wouldn’t have survived it. so i had to do it first. i had to hurt you before you could hurt me. because if i broke you, at least i’d know the ending was mine." he stopped, you didn't move, you didn't say anything.

"y/n please. i'm sorry." more silence. and then,

"i'm going to be late for class." and with that you walked off, leaving remus standing there under the cover of a wilted tree, next to the stone bench he had abandoned you on just a few weeks ago.

. . .

two days. it had been two days since remus's display at the lake and he had been moping ever since, much to his roommates dismays.

no one had seen or heard from you since then either. you weren't in your room when james had sent lily to check and you weren't in the hospital wing when sirius had gone to check, and it had remus in absolute shambles.

"she hates me. she hates me so much she transferred schools." he's face down in his pillow, his body limp against the mattress as he groans out his words.

peter scrunches his eyebrows, "we graduate in five months?"

still muffled by his pillow remus replies, "yeah so she must really hate me."

"oh come on you ole sap. don't tell me you're giving up so easily." sirius barked from across the room, peaking his head out from his post-shower routine.

"no i am. i'm giving up. the love of my life hates me and now i'm going to die." remus flips over onto his back and states plainly.

sirius frowns, "what did i say about all this self-anguish bull?"

"i'm only joking mom. kind of." remus replies sarcastically.

he's happy to have his friends in his time of despair, their senseless bickering and blind encouragement gives him hope in his dark and stormy time.

that is until a knock at their dormitory door causes them to all freeze. the four of them look between each other, confused. lily was still in class and sirius's various flings know better than to show up here, so who was at the door?

peter makes the first move, towards the door, hand slowly turning the handle. as the heavy wooden door swings open it reveals, you.

sirius let's out a dramatic gasp and remus nearly burns holes into his head, if only his gaze wasn't so locked in on you.

you brush past peter and make a bee line for where remus is now sat up on the edge of his bed. he holds his breath as you approach him, expecting you to slap him clean across the face.

but you don't, instead, you stop just mere inches in front of him with your hand outstretched.

"my name is y/n y/l/n. i'm a seventh year y/h/n and i'm incredibly talented in potion making." you state.

everyone is confused. remus is confused, but mostly remus is grateful you're even speaking to him. he's frozen in place and when you don't see him moving you shake your outstretched hand and raise your eyebrows.

in a moment of rare intellect from the idiotic boy he snaps back into reality, firm grasping your hand for a shake.

"remus. lupin. seventh year, gryffindor." he finishes, still grasping your hand. you raise your eyebrows again, he tilts his head like a lost and confused puppy.

you decide to throw him a bone and prompt him, "and...?"

it all clicks for him, he knows what you want.

"and i'm a werewolf."

you smile, he smiles.

you turn over the hand of his that has a firm grip on you and apparate a pen into your hand. opening his palm you bend over and write down a number on his open hand.

(+** - *** - ******)

and then you turn to leave, but not before throwing a quick "call me." over your shoulder.

as soon as peter closes the door behind you remus jump up out of his bed. he's pumping his fists in the air while sirius and peter cheer him on.

from his bed, james pipes up, "call me? we're wizards? who the bloody hell is using a mobile phone?"

he's promptly hit square in the face by remus's pillow, knocking the glasses frames clean off his face, "shut up prongs." and peter pats him on the back.

he's absolutely elated. as he falls asleep that night he thanks every single higher being out there for allowing him back into your life. he promises to never grimace at his dad's bad jokes, or make fun of sirius's gala outfits ever again, he swears on everything he has that he will never do another remotely unkind thing again for the rest of his life as long as you are in it.

he knows the two of you have a lot to talk about, and he knows he has a lot to work on himself, but for tonight, he's just happy you gave him a second chance.

© menyuui do not copy, repost, or plagiarize the contents of this blog

[bratkook]

deep six: dancing with death. (m) jjk

part one. part two. v-day drabble

pairing. biker!jk x reader genre. smut, fluff warnings. infidelity (but its ok i promise), protected s*x, oral, jungkook is kinda whiny and that itself deserves a warning, they're just fluffy and mushy and love each other they just dont know it yet word count. 12.2k summary. you've always known to stay away from the tombstone patches, told they were the enemy, that you'd be betraying your club if you chose not to listen. but an unsuspected friendship makes you think that maybe not everyone was as bad as you were made to believe. author’s note. hihiiii, this is a prequel to the deep six series! aka how jungkook and oc start their friendship and have it blossom into what it becomes in part one of deep six. i truly love these two so much, something about their forbidden love and how jungkook is tough and dangerous but oh so sweet to her makes me fucking melt!!! ok hope u enjoy it bye ily muah

The world is a constant blur, days merging, memories hazy and bleeding together in your mind. The only time you enjoy the blur is now, sitting on your bike as you flow through the streets. Exiting Cobra territory made you feel free, the streets widening up the further you got, allowing you to cruise without the fear of getting swiped by a careless driver. 

Your eyes fall shut briefly, taking a slow breath as you try to push the earlier feelings away. Minho was having a bad day, a deal he had hoped to make to start running ice falling through, the man in charge deciding to go with a neighboring club instead. It wasn’t your fault the man thought Minho was too hot headed and messy to not find a way to mess this deal up, wanting a club with more reach, more connections and reliability than the Cobras could offer. That didn’t stop Minho from treating you like it was your fault, doing what he did best before barking orders at you to go for a run, desperately needing alcohol to drown his emotions. 

The earlier fear still rattles you, leaves your fingers trembling slightly as they clutch the handles and accelerate. He couldn’t hurt you here, and that's all the comfort you need at the moment, finally pulling into the familiar parking lot of the bodega. There’s a few cars parked inside, a lone scooter tossed by the sidewalk, and a shiny black bike parked by the entrance. 

You eye it for a moment, always checking for visible tags that let you know if the bike belonged to a club that had the Cobra’s high on their hit list. It’d be easy to act dumb if it was, no identifying items on you, knowing better than to roam the streets without Minho with a serpent stamped on you. 

When you find nothing you decide it’s fine, knowing you were on a time crunch to get what he wanted. With another slow breath you step off your bike, already feeling your earlier nerves fade away as you enter your comfort space. It seems odd to consider it one, but something about the buzzing fluorescent lighting and peeling laminate made you feel like an individual. 

Music plays through a portable speaker by the cashier, the worker greeting you with a smile that you return before you turn down your favorite aisle. That’s when you spot him again. The Deep Six member in the same spot he was in the last time you saw him a few weeks ago. It had been a close encounter then, not realizing who he was with your boyfriend standing outside. But his arms are revealed to you now, markings on his skin making it clear what club he belonged to, leaving no room for confusion. If that somehow wasn’t enough the giant patches on his vest and the glimmering rings on his fingers spell it out, literally. 

You approach him slowly, not sure if you trust him but not fully on edge like you were before, knowing Minho’s watchful eyes weren’t observing your every move. Without the ticking bomb a few feet away you allow yourself to slightly relax in the presence of him, assuming he had no idea who you were, clearly too focused on his candy selection. 

Sure you were on a run for Minho but you always pick something up for yourself. A small smile is already on your lips as your eyes land on the sour straws, ready to pick your flavor of choice, only to find it completely empty. Instantly you know the culprit is the man next to you, remembering the way you had reached for the same candy last time you saw him here by chance, and as you turn to stare at him you see his palms cradling four packets of the sour straws, a teasing smile on his face as he meets your eyes. Greedy. 

“Sorry,” he breathes out, sounding anything but, trying desperately not to laugh and failing as he makes his way to the front to pay. You don’t even respond to him, admitting defeat as you settle on the green apple flavored ones before you return to your earlier task, finding a case of Minho’s favorite beer and paying for it. 

The heat welcomes you once more outside, loading up the beer and candy into the saddlebags on the side of your bike, already forgetting about the candy thief from inside. 

“Hey, Snake!” A voice cuts through the air, making you freeze as you search for it, finding the Six standing by the shiny black bike you had spotted earlier. He reaches into his pocket, still smiling as he pulls out the blue raspberry sour straw packet, tossing it your way with ease. 

You catch it with both palms, momentarily stunned at the small gesture and at the fact that he clearly knew you were associated with the Cobras. The rumble of his engine snaps you out of it, smiling slightly as you look up at him once more, a breathless thank you escaping your lips before he is smiling back and peeling out of the parking lot. 

When you live the life you do, constantly on edge with a paranoid boyfriend questioning everyone’s intentions, it's hard not to let his way of thinking affect your own. Even as you sit back at the clubhouse, holding onto that packet of candy, you can’t help but wonder if maybe the Six’s seemingly sweet gesture was a trap. Maybe he was testing to see how gullible you are, stupid enough to interact with him, to use you to send a message to the Cobras. It wouldn’t be the first time. Minho’s reign made you an easy target, knowing you had a lot of enemies that would love to make a lesson of you. 

It's been so long since anyone has shown you genuine kindness with no strings attached, and as you finally enjoy your treat, you can’t stop the warm feeling of hope in your chest that maybe not everyone was as bad as you were made to believe. 

You don’t return to your comfort space again until two weeks later, on another run for the club. Minho seemed to think if he gave you pointless errands to run you’d be satisfied, content with the loveless relationship and mundane everyday life. It was his way of keeping you on a leash, making you follow orders and letting the lead slacken up, only tightening it back up to remind you he was all you had. But you’d take the small moments of peace wherever you could get them. 

The lot is empty today as you pull in, the only car belonging to the worker inside. The moment of solitude only lasts for a minute, a loud rumble cutting through the air as another bike pulls in beside you. You tense up immediately, whipping your head to assess the situation, spotting the familiar Six too lost in his thoughts to realize you were here. He furrows his brows as he takes off his helmet, adjusting the large rings on his fingers before he glances your way, jumping slightly when he notices it's you. 

You eye him curiously, hands coming up to the key in the ignition, ready to start it up and tail out of here if he made a move. Minho had made a claim of some other club trying to ambush a deal earlier today, an unlucky hangout being the only one hurt, but without an identifying patch it left him on edge more than normal. So far the Six didn’t make you feel like you had to be wary, but you couldn’t be so sure. 

He seems to sense it, his arms raising up in surrender as he stays on his bike. “It’s okay snake, I don’t bite.” He smiles at his own stupid remark, but it slowly falls off his face when he sees the stoic expression remains on yours. “Seriously though, I’m just here for some smokes and a treat. I can go somewhere else if it really makes you this uncomfortable though.”

“Why aren’t you somewhere else to begin with?” you bite back, still not trusting that he wasn’t trying to trap you. 

Jungkook just sighs, hand coming up to ruffle up his helmet hair. “It’s nice to get away sometimes. This is neutral grounds, you know as best as I do that anything club related done here is a death wish.” He lets you process his statement, seeing the way you continue to eye him, your gaze tracing along the patches he wears. The large tombstone taunts you, torn and a little rugged on the edges, showing just how long he’s been wearing it. “Why aren’t you somewhere on your side of town?”

You purse your lips, looking away from him as you pull your hand away from your key, getting off your bike, deciding this conversation was better to have inside your little safe space. “Like you said, it’s nice to get away sometimes.” You hook your helmet over your handle, reaching the bodega’s door and holding it open as you look back at him. “You coming?”

He seems to snap out of it, quickly hopping off his bike and jogging your way, saying a quick greeting to the worker before going down the familiar aisle. He smiles when he sees you next to those damn sour straws. 

“Those must be your favorite huh?”

You give him a quick glance, seeing the smile on his lips before you turn back and grab a packet of the candy. “They are, so try not to take all of them at once again.”

He lets out a soft laugh, reaching forward and grabbing a couple of the same. “I gave you one last time, which says a lot because I don’t really like sharing.”

“A Six that doesn’t like sharing? That’s not surprising.” Your words are light, a small smile tugging at the corner of your lips as you turn around and continue roaming the aisle. 

“Not as surprising as a Snake trying to tell me what to do.” The crinkling of plastic fills the store as he rips open his packet, taking a bite of a sour straw as he tries to hide his own smile when you give him an eye roll. 

“I’m not technically a Snake,” you mutter out, finger tracing along the chocolate bar you were contemplating grabbing. It wasn’t a lie, you didn’t wear the patch, you weren’t granted the perks of being a part of the club, nothing you said held any weight on the decisions they made. You weren’t a Cobra, you just belonged to one of them. Though that didn’t seem like the wisest thing to tell him, you knew the history between Deep Six and the Cobras, and telling him you belonged to Minho of all people would put you high up on his list of people to hurt if he had bad intentions to begin with. 

“Oh? You just like to hang on to the back of one then?”

“Something like that,” you sigh, deciding not to grab the extra treat, turning to look at him fully once more. “Are you gonna keep calling me a snake?”

His tongue prods along his cheek as he looks down at you, eyebrow slowly cocking up. “What would you rather I call you?”

“Y/N.”

He nods slowly, letting your name settle into his mind before he was reaching his hand out, the golden glimmering rings spelling out SIX shining in the light. You eye his hand for a minute before grabbing it in a gentle handshake, seeing the way he smiles before saying his own name. 

“Jungkook.”

Jungkook was proud of his club, wore his patch with pride, did everything he could to show his loyalty. So why was he starting to tell white lies to his brothers, making up excuses to justify why he was going to the bodega on neutral grounds directly after finishing a job. He knew what would happen if they knew who he was talking to, slowly befriending. His only rational excuse was the fact that you had said you weren’t technically a Cobra, and although he’s not sure how well that would hold up to the rest of his members, it was the only excuse that helped ease his guilt. 

He was currently sat on the small sidewalk outside of the bodega, elbows leaning on his knees as he glanced around the empty lot. You had been meeting here once every week or so. He had started to take note of the typical times you’d be sent on runs of your own, choosing to coincidentally run into you at the same time. You had yet to arrive today though, leaving him waiting for fifteen minutes, wondering if maybe you wouldn’t be showing up today. 

Just before he decides to head out, you pull into the lot on your Dyna, a smile on your face when you spot him sitting on the sidewalk like a child. 

“You’re late,” he calls out, grabbing a packet of candy and tossing it your way when you get off your bike and head towards him. 

“Sorry, I wasn’t aware we had a time set for our little play dates.” You open up the candy, taking a bite and shutting your eyes at the sour taste. Jungkook laughs at your expression, patting the sidewalk beside him for you to settle into. 

“I can’t be left unsupervised, you should know this by now.”

You laugh now, taking a look at the bodega and the surrounding area. “Nothing seems to be destroyed, I think you do just fine unsupervised.”

He leans back on his palm, raking back his dark hair as he stares into the sky in thought. “I tend to cause psychological damage, not too big on destroying property.”

“Got it. So you torture people?”

Jungkook chuckles, turning to look at you slightly, a small twinkle of mischief flashing in his eyes as he smiles. “Exactly.”

You can only laugh, not exactly sure how truthful he was being with his little joke. The both of you made an effort to not discuss the intricacies of your clubs, not entirely sure what it was that you both did for them, knowing things would get too messy and tangled up if you did. Instead you talk about yourselves, knowing small anecdotes of each other’s childhoods, recounting stories of when he took a few tumbles on his bike when he was just starting to learn to ride, ones of you before the life of the Cobras was all you knew. 

It was a brief moment of normalcy, being able to talk to someone else, laughing over dumb jokes while sharing candy. It made you forget how twisted all of it was until you returned back home. 

Jungkook just appreciated having a new friend, someone to talk to about things that didn’t have to do with his club. He just wished he could talk to you in moments that lasted longer than the brief bodega hang outs. So as you both finish up, loading up your bike with the items you were told to come pick up, he takes a leap of faith. 

“Hey, can I—uh. Can I have your number?” He looks uncharacteristically shy as he asks this, one hand rubbing along the back of his neck. “To arrange our play dates,” he adds jokingly, a small smile on his lips in hopes of softening the blow of potential rejection as he reaches for his phone and hands it over. 

You freeze instantly, staring at his device as the voice in your head tells you not to, screams that this would get you in trouble. But the hopeful look on his face is enough to shut it up, grabbing his phone with a nod. “Sure, but uhm, I can’t text often.”

His brows furrow slightly at the tone you use, watching the way you type in your number and text yourself. Something about it made it seem like you were nervous, and the only thing he can assume is that the people you were around would grow curious over who you were texting. 

“Why? Scared your Snake friends would be pissed that a Six is texting you?” His tone is playful, but as you hand him his phone back, the look on your face makes his smile slowly fade away. 

“My boyfriend, specifically.”

Jungkook feels his heart drop at the revelation. He knew you were most likely involved with a Cobra, having seen you the first time you met on the back of one’s bike—more specifically, Minho’s bike. He had just assumed you were Minho’s chosen girl for the day, but if you were mentioning a boyfriend now, Jungkook could easily piece together who exactly that is. 

The third cardinal rule of his club replays in the back of his mind, “Never get involved with a Cobra”. It makes his head hurt, desperately trying to find a deeper excuse, a loophole to allow this to continue. It shouldn’t mean anything, you two were just friendly, barely even toeing that line as it was. But just knowing you were spoken for, by the leader of the Cobras especially, made the guilt he already felt for speaking to you get worse. 

But he does his best to shake it off, drowning out his thoughts as he takes his phone back and shrugs. 

“We’re just two people who share a love for sour straws, but if it makes you feel better you text me whenever you want.”

You don’t text him for a while, the fear of your tiny little secret being exposed keeps you from responding to the text you had sent yourself from his phone. There was also the small feeling of guilt festering in your stomach, feeling like you had lied to him by keeping your relationship a secret. All he had assumed from the get go was that you liked to hang around Cobras, but you noticed the way his face had changed when you mentioned a boyfriend, and you can only imagine how he’d react if you told him your boyfriend was the leader of the Cobras. 

You find yourself staring at your device any chance you get, hidden in the bathroom of your place, lounging on the couch in the clubhouse, until you finally get the courage to send the first text. It makes your heart race, saving his number under your best friend's name, changing the emoji at the end so you know the difference, going as far as putting his messages on do not disturb. Clearly hiding, keeping him a secret. 

Jungkook knows it's wrong, because he’s keeping it a secret too. But once that first text was sent, they never stopped. He responds when he has time in between club duties, knowing you’ll reply when you get a moment alone. Your messages are short, random conversations that never crossed any lines, but he meant what he said, taking full advantage of having your number to coordinate your play dates. 

The guilt you feel slowly fades away with each passing day, becoming comfortable in your ways as you let him know what days you’ll be on that side of town, and before you know it, your hang outs become your favorite thing. You slowly start to consider Jungkook your friend, another rare slice of peace in your messy life. It makes you feel like your younger self, excited to speak to a cute boy and laugh until your cheeks hurt. 

And it should make you feel icky to have these thoughts about someone who wasn’t your boyfriend, but your relationship with Minho had been romantically dead for years now, not able to remember the last time he did something for you that didn’t solely benefit him. So you choose to enjoy the small flutters in your stomach that occur around Jungkook, allowing yourself to sit closer to him each time, friendly touches beginning to get more courageous while still toeing the line. 

Jungkook doesn’t mind it, he thought you were pretty and would let you trace the patches on his jacket or analyze his tattoos up close if that's what you wanted. You were the one with a boyfriend, who was he to tell you what was right or wrong for you to do, he wasn’t one to judge or pull a morality card on you considering the things he does in his club. It was all mostly innocent anyways, even now as you stand a good few feet away from each other, respective candy in each other's hands, attempting to toss them into your mouths. 

It was innocent. 

“God, your aim is horrible!” you laugh out, feeling the candy hit your forehead and bounce right off. 

“What are you talking about? That was a clear headshot.” He has that charming smirk on his face as he says it, tongue flicking against his lip ring while he laughs too. 

“You’re not trying to kill me Jungkook, we’re trying to see who wins first.” You swat the remnants of sugar off your face as you reach into your own bag for a piece of candy, motioning for him to be ready. He gets into position, slightly bending his knees and angling his head back with his mouth open, ready to catch whatever you throw. With a small snicker you grab four small pieces of candy, aiming right for his face with one eye shut and sending them flying. Jungkook is totally unsuspecting until suddenly, he’s being pelted all over his face, his eyes squeezing shut at the shock. 

“Dude,” he laughs, eyes finally opening up to spot you cackling away, perfectly content at your little stunt. 

“Okay, okay sorry. For real this time. I got it, I can feel it in my bones.” Jungkook should tell you no, say you wasted your turn and deliver payback, but you look too happy right now for him to do anything but smile and nod as he gets back into position once more. He sees the way you bring your hand close to your face, shutting one eye to try to aim, tongue slightly poking out in concentration before you toss the candy across a few feet of distance. 

Jungkook doesn’t even register that the candy successfully landed in his mouth until you’re gasping in shock. That’s when his eyes widen, his mouth shutting as he begins to chew, standing up straight and feeling his heart start to warm at how proud you look at having beat him. He closes the distance between you, extending a hand out for a high five that you gladly give him. 

Now that you’re closer, you see all the sprinkles of sugar on his face. It dusts along his cheekbones and the top of his nose, looking like small freckles on his skin. You give him an endearing smile as you cup his face and swipe it away from his skin. You do it without thinking really, tips of your fingers gently flicking away the evidence of your tiny prank. 

Jungkook’s chest tightens at the soft gesture, eyes wide as he watches you, too scared to move, almost like it would startle you or make you come to your senses and remember he was a Six. He chooses to just focus on how soft your hand feels against his cheek, how sweet you sound when you say he looks like a mess, your eyes filled with what he hopes is the same adoration he has as you look up at him, a lot closer than you need to be.

Jungkook knows all the sugar is gone now but you’re still there, thumb rubbing along his cheek, tracing the scar under his eye while your gaze lands on the piercing on his lip. He holds his breath when you look up at him once more, and maybe it's his wishful thinking but he swears the way you look at him tells him to make a move, so he does. Slowly at first, wanting to give you a chance to deny his advances, but you meet his lips before he can close the distance himself.

The innocence is gone now. Jungkook had felt something brewing with each of your interactions, chalking it off to pure friendliness, but he knows a small spark had been lit the second you started speaking to each other. 

The kiss burns, the guilt and betrayal to his club clawing at his mind but he doesn't care, welcoming it as he deepens it, sliding his hand into your hair and focusing on the way you let out a soft breath as he does so. It makes your mind spin, your hands gently looping around his neck to bring him closer. You don’t have time to think, too enveloped in the way his piercing feels against your lips, how his fingers softly rake through your hair, how he takes a deep breath when you kiss him back harder. 

It's brief, a small moment of weakness led by temptation, but you can’t deny how you both feel exhilarated, wide eyes and smiles on your faces when you pull back. "You taste like candy," you giggle.

“Your favorite,” he mumbles, still close enough to nudge the tip of his nose along yours. His voice is low as he lets reality settle, slowly inching back, his eyes meeting yours and seeing the small clouds of panic start to form around you. Reality seems to be hitting you too, fear of what would happen to him if Minho ever found out, or what would happen to you if he even had an inkling. A small harmless crush had just passed over into dangerous territory. 

“Hey,” Jungkook starts softly, hand gently coming to rest on your shoulder to bring you back to the present. “It doesn’t have to mean anything.”

“No, but it does,” you groan. It did mean something, it didn’t matter how small it seemed, but you know the kiss meant something. Your small panic had nothing to do with being unfaithful, you knew Minho cheated on you with any girls who were willing to show their loyalty to the club, and if it kept him off of you then you didn’t mind it. You were scared to put Jungkook in danger. “It means something and my boyfriend’s crazy, he’ll kill both of us if he finds out.”

“I know he is.” He shrugs, looking directly at you, seeing the shocked look on your face at his admission. 

“You know what?” you whisper. 

“I know he’s a psycho. I kind of put two and two together when you mentioned a boyfriend. It is Minho right?” When you nod slowly, still unsure how to respond he just continues speaking. “But look, I know. All of it. I know I’m not supposed to be speaking to you, let alone kissing you and enjoying it, but it happened. I know it’s wrong, that I should feel bad and I don’t, but I also know where my loyalties lie within the club and what rules I’m willing to bend. If you’re saying it means something, then it does.”

You can only stare at him, feeling the clouds of panic start to fade. “But I'm telling you, I know what's at risk and I won’t be using it to harm you.”

“I mean…it is both our asses on the line,” you mumble out, still feeling his hand on your shoulder. He smiles at your words now, making you slowly smile back. 

“So, we’re taking it to our graves?” His voice is light again, the playful tone you were used to back. When you nod he smiles wider. “Cool, should we kiss on it?”

Jungkook laughs when you shove his shoulder with a cackle, rolling your eyes as you step back, walking back into the bodega to get what you came for. “You’re so unserious. Get away from me.”

The issue with this imaginary line being crossed is that it leaves you thinking “what’s next”, constantly wondering just what else you could get away with. One kiss shared turns into two which turns into five, given so casually it feels like second nature. It seems like both of your guards have dropped now, more at ease with each other, touches getting as bold as they could in public. 

“Are you sure my skin isn’t gonna burn off?” you joke, laughing when Jungkook gives you an eye roll. His jacket is in his hands, shaking it off before he’s swinging it around your frame, helping you slide your arms into it. He had jokingly said it would swallow you whole, and you honestly just wanted an excuse to be closer to him so when he suggested you try it on you couldn’t deny him. 

“You might burst into flames, so just drop and roll baby.” He snickers when you playfully glare at him. Jungkook looks down at you with a smile, his hands smoothing the collar before he’s taking a step back to admire how the large leather jacket looked on you. The patches cover the arms and back, his first initial, last name and rank displayed over the left breast pocket, something your finger comes up to trace absentmindedly.  

“I don’t know, the jacket suits you. You sure you don’t wanna become a Six?”

“Very funny Jungkook. They’ll be putting a Cobra on my tombstone when I’m dead.” 

He waves you off, reaching into his pocket to pull out his phone. “Let me live in my fantasy world, yeah?”

“Your fantasy world involves me being a Six?” you giggle, looking up at him with a sly smile.

“Don’t kink shame me. Now smile for the picture,” he sings out, bending down as he extends his arm out, ready to take a selfie. You had yet to take photos of you both, too scared to be caught by Minho, but you allowed Jungkook to document your newly formed friendship as much as he wanted, knowing he had less to worry about when it came to snooping. 

Your arms wrap around him, the tombstone patch on display as you both smile widely for the picture. He looks at it with a cheeky grin, mumbling out how cute he thought it was before putting his phone away. 

“Do you need the usual for your run today?” he asks, knowing Minho always had you stocking up his alcohol. 

“Not today. I’m technically supposed to be locked inside our place. A few Cobra’s headed out of state this morning for a meeting.”

Jungkook hums, having briefly heard of an arms deal happening out of state, he just hadn’t been aware it was the Cobra’s doing. “Why didn’t you go with?”

“Too risky.” You lean back against the textured wall of the building, still cozy in his jacket. Minho loved to have you right by his side at all times, so if he said it was safer for you to stay here then you wouldn’t question him. “He has to make sure his prized possession stays safe.”

Jungkook laughs, slinging an arm around you and bringing you to his side obnoxiously. “Well you tell him I have that covered.”

“Jungkook, he’d cut your tongue out. Stop it!” you cackle. 

“I’d like to see him fucking try,” he grunts out, enjoying the way you playfully swat at him. He’d like to think he could have Minho’s head served on a silver platter if he ever got close enough to put his hands on him. 

“What about you? Any fun club plans after our playdate?”

Jungkook sighs, a smile still on his face. “Nope. I’m officially clocked out.” Your laugh is felt against his side, only making his smile widen. “I just have to stop by the clubhouse to grab something before heading home.”

“How far is the clubhouse from here?” You’re looking up at him with a twinkle in your eye, your smile still as sweet as can be, but he senses some undertone that he hopes he isn’t imagining. 

“Not far, about 20 minutes. Why? You want a tour?”

That was all he had to ask before you were following his bike down the busy streets on his side of town. His jacket is still on you, providing you with a small sense of security, knowing if anyone spotted you they’d assume you were with him. It leaves you at ease, entering the secure lot of his clubhouse, coming to a stop beside him and glancing around as you take off your helmet. 

It’s empty, a few cars parked around that looked like they were in need of repair, but no other bikes or lingering people. Jungkook steps off his bike, motioning for you to follow him, excited at showing you his favorite place. 

As you follow his lead you instantly see how different Deep Six’s clubhouse is compared to the Cobras. The space is taken care of, decorated thoughtfully, a space made for business as well as hanging out with their friends and families. Touches of the club are nestled around, a large Harley on display on a far wall, a frame showing the timeline and evolution of their patch tucked between other photos, and the most obvious and slightly obnoxious ode to the club comes in the gallery wall displaying all of their mugshots. Cute. 

“It’s nothing fancy,” he mumbles, spreading his arms out as he stands in the middle of the main room. A brown tufted leather couch is right behind him, a giant pool table behind it and a fully loaded bar to the right. 

“Compared to ours it sure is.” The Cobra’s clubhouse was made for business only, the meeting room was kept in pristine condition while the rest of it was only made to be nice enough to house drunken members and whatever hangouts were in the process of joining. 

“Really?” When you nod he just frowns, approaching you to grab your hand and pull you along, trying to show you more. “I’ll show you my space.”

“Your space?” you wonder, smiling when he squeezes your palm lightly, leading you down a hall to the right. A few doors line both walls, different ranks tacked on the middle of them, coming to a stop in front of one that says Road Captain. You had never really paid attention to his rank on his jacket, never really caring to read anyone’s rank in general, but seeing it displayed on this door let you know just how deep his involvement in his club was. 

“Only ranked members get private rooms.” He sounds almost bashful as he says this, grinning before opening up the door and switching on the light. A desk is on the right, paperwork neatly stacked in piles, a dresser is along the other wall with pictures tacked onto a cork board right above it. His bed is in the middle, sheets a dark gray and neatly made. It’s nestled between two windows on either side, letting in the slowly setting sunlight. 

You step into the room, walking to the dresser to look at the photos he has tacked up. He looks younger in some of these, hair messier and longer, no piercing or tattoos yet as he leans on his bike, another member attempting to put him in a headlock. They’re all club photos for the most part, the only one standing out is a photo of a teenage looking Jungkook holding up a diploma with what you can only assume is his parents beside him. 

“Cute,” you mumble out, smiling as you turn back to face him. It was odd to feel this calm around him, so used to the faint ticking heard in your head, reminding you that you were running on borrowed time, forced to interact in small bursts. With Minho completely occupied, the ticking disappears, allowing you to fully enjoy the moment for what it was. 

“I didn’t expect you to be sentimental like this,” you tease, smiling at the way his eyes narrow at you as he approaches, his tongue poking at his cheek as he fights a smile. 

“I’m full of surprises,” he murmurs, standing a foot away from you now, peering down at you with an aura of playfulness surrounding him. Your hands reach out to gently play with the material of his shirt, tugging him even closer. Jungkook could feel the tension, the same slowly growing tension that had been brewing with each day spent together. He can only watch as your hands slowly trail up his stomach, gliding up to gingerly rest against his chest. 

He wanted to kiss you, wanted to feel you gasp against his lips, but the last thing he wanted to do was make you feel like he had suggested showing you his clubhouse to be a total sleaze. Jungkook knew the line had grown blurry, kisses and touches shared with ease, but he wasn’t bold enough to assume you’d be okay with taking anything further. So when you decide to make the first move, leaning up to ghost your lips over his own, he can only hold his breath, eyes fluttering shut when you softly press them together. 

Your hands rest on his shoulders now, holding yourself steady as you kiss him, feeling the way his body melts into it. You pull away with a soft smack of your lips, inching back slightly. “What other surprises do you have?” 

Jungkook holds in a groan when you start to pepper kisses on the corner of his mouth, trailing them down his jaw, gently nipping the skin of his throat right below his ear. You giggle when he shudders, his hands gripping your waist, fingers tightening around you. 

“If you let me, I can show you.” His voice holds a tinge of unsureness, wanting for you to be okay with this without sounding pushy. But Jungkook had been thinking of this since your first kiss so he couldn’t help the desperate tone laced between each syllable. 

“Show me. Show me whatever you want,” you whisper, hand coming up to cup his cheek, looking up at him through your lashes. When his eyes meet yours he finally lets his resolve crack, attaching your lips once more in a heated kiss, finally feeling you gasp against him. 

Jungkook is a little ashamed to admit how easily this was affecting him, his heart already racing in his chest, stomach fluttering with each shared moan, bulge growing in his jeans when your hand slips into his hair and pulls. His hands slide down the material of his jacket you have on, pulling it off your body and tossing it aside without a care. He feels you smile against his lips at the action, clearly enjoying the way his hands roam along your body, desperate to touch you in ways he wasn’t able to before. 

It’s an eager dance to his bed, blindly stepping back as he guides you to it until your knees buckle against the mattress, giggling as you flop onto it. Your arm rests back to hold you steady, other hand gripping onto his shirt to yank him back over you, reattaching your lips in a heated kiss. 

Jungkook laughs into the kiss, his arm wrapping around you to haul you further up the bed properly, slowly pushing you back until you’re flat against the bed. His body settles over you, the cute visual of his hair framing his face is the first thing you see when your eyes flutter open as he pulls back. His eyes are hooded as he stares at you, his hand coming up to gently cradle your jaw, thumb rubbing along your bottom lip as he smirks before dipping back down. 

He kisses the corner of your mouth, following the same trail you had left on him earlier, smiling against your skin when you shudder as he nips your neck. Slowly, his hands slide down your body, fingers toying with the hem of your shirt and tugging it up to reveal your stomach. 

“Can I take this off?” he mumbles, eyes peering up at you for confirmation. When you breathe out a yes, he slides it further up, helping you slip out of your shirt fully before you’re settling on your back again. A thin bralette covers your boobs, lacey cups revealing a glimmer on your nipples that has him tilting his head in curiosity. 

You catch what he’s looking at, smile spreading on your lips as you reach up to touch his jaw, finger gently tapping along the small mole he has below his lips. “I’m full of surprises too,” you mumble, smiling wider when he boldly cups your chest, thumb swiping at your pierced nipple through the lace. 

“I can see that,” he mumurs, voice low and raspy, making your stomach flip. He looks at you once more, brow cocking up in question as his fingers toy with the fabric. You nod your head, knowing what he wanted, allowing him to slip the straps off your shoulders before he’s sliding a palm under your back to properly unclasp your bra, giving himself the perfect view. 

Its hard to ignore the small burst of confidence that surges through you when he groans, eyes hooded while he leans down to pepper kisses down your chest. It had been such a long time since you’ve felt truly desired, since you’ve been kissed delicately, had hands touch your skin so gently it tickles and leaves you breathing out a laugh. So you relish in it. You shut your eyes and enjoy the way Jungkook presses wet kisses to your skin, you let yourself gasp in pleasure when he wraps his lips around your pierced nipple and sucks. 

Your hands instinctively slip through his hair, fingers yanking his thick strands as he hums against your skin, tongue flicking along the piercing. Jungkook feels the way you jut your chest further out, back arching at the sensation. A deep groan escapes you as his palm comes up to cup your other breast, the cool feeling of his rings sending a shiver down your spine. 

He smiles as he pulls back, cocky with eyes twinkling with mischief as his fingers playfully dance down your body. 

His eyes are locked with yours as his fingers reach the waistband of your jeans, teasingly dipping past it as he lifts a brow in question. He needed clear boundaries, not wanting to cross any lines. You find it cute, how despite the fact that you’re laying here, chest heaving with anticipation, eyes surely wild with desire, he’s still wanting to make sure. 

“Can I?” He repeats his earlier question, features soft as he waits for your answer. 

“We need to even out the playing field first Six,” you tease, smiling when he chuckles and points to his shirt. You nod, staring up at him from the bed as he kneels up, staring right at you as he reaches behind his neck and yanks the shirt off of his body. 

Your blood warms up further at the sight of him, seeing his muscles flex under his tattoos as he straightens back up. Jungkook tilts his head slightly, biting on his lip ring as he fights back the smile at your clear admiration. The black marks his skin, some tattoos looking darker than others, showing you just which ones were recent additions. 

The owl on his chest looks the brightest, edges still crisp, shading looking rich in the skulls beneath each wing. They seem to move as Jungkook takes a breath, snapping you out of it as you look back into his eyes. 

“Is this even enough for you?” he jokes, smiling wide when you nod in confirmation, your eyes following his movements as his hand returns to your jeans. You watch with bated breath as he unbuttons the top, slowly pulling down the zipper before his hands hook into the waistband and starts to tug. Your hips lift from the bed to help, allowing him to pull them off, tossing them to the side along with your shoes and socks. 

You can feel your stomach flipping with nerves, the worry of doing something new with someone new, the small clouds of insecurity rolling in, wondering if you looked good in this angle, if maybe Jungkook preferred you to look a certain way or wear cute underwear with bows on the front instead of the black regular cotton ones you currently have on. 

It all settles down as he drops lowers, eyes looking up at you as he presses kisses onto your hips and slowly tugs your underwear down, clearly not paying any mind to them. A trail of goosebumps blossom down your thighs, following your underwear as he pulls them off too. He stands up once more, eyes swimming with want as he sees you. 

“Let me get a good look at you,” he murmurs when he notices the way your arms begin to want to cover yourself up at being fully exposed. He thinks it's cute how shy you seem now, eyes bouncing away from his as he takes his time drinking you in. With your eyes diverted, he thinks it's a great time to dive in, his hands coming down to grip your palms while his face nudges its way into the crook of your neck to kiss your skin, smiling at the way you gasp and laugh at the ticklish feeling

“Jungkook!” you giggle, feeling his hands pin your own down on the bed, his mouth traveling down your body as he guides your hands into his hair, letting you know he wants you to keep playing with the strands. Your finger twirls his hair around, feeling him smile against your skin as he descends once more. 

“Everything about you is so pretty,” he mumbles into your stomach, eyes peering up at you while his hands return to your hips, slowly sliding down to your thighs to grip the flesh. Wet kisses smack into your skin, leaving a trail on each hip and down your thigh until he’s suddenly biting. He laughs when you gasp, your fingers tugging his hair on instinct when you look down with a shocked expression. 

“Looked so good you had to take a bite?” you joke, smiling down at him, feeling the fluttering in your stomach when he winks. 

“Oh I need more than just a bite,” he groans, fingers tightening their hold on your thighs before he presses a kiss directly onto your mound, slowly sticking his tongue out to gently flick along your slit. 

Jungkook loves the way your breath gets shaky as you exhale, a soft moan of his name reaching his ears when he gently parts your folds and teasingly flicks against your clit. A part of him knows this might be the one and only time he’ll ever get to experience you like this, the only time he’ll see you flush on his bed, gasping for more as your hips roll into him. So he wants to store every moment in his brain, keep it locked away until the next time he misses you. 

“Fuck Jungkook, that feels good,” you moan, fingers locked in his hair, keeping him close as he ravishes you. The praise makes his ego grow, lips wrapping around your clit and sucking with the perfect amount of pressure. It makes your stomach tense, short little zaps of electricity flowing through your body with each flick of his tongue. 

“Good, I just wanna make you feel good.” He leans back a bit, admiring the look of your sodden folds for a moment before he's letting a glob of spit drip from his mouth directly onto your clit. He bites his lip as his fingers spread it around, coating his digits as he circles your entrance. His eyes meet yours again, brow raised in question, smiling when you nod in response. Slowly, he pushes forward, eyes focused on your reaction, seeing the way you bite down on your lip as his finger sinks in. 

Jungkook tries not to let his mind get carried away when he feels your walls fluttering around his digit, already imagining how you would feel around him, feeling his cock aching in his jeans as he sinks a second finger in to properly stretch you out. With each thrust of his fingers his mind wanders further, the need to see you falling apart leading his mouth back onto you, the combining sensation making you moan louder. 

The stretch of his fingers has your head spinning, eyes falling shut as you mewl on his sheets, fingers raking through his hair. “More Jungkook, please,” you whimper, not able to get enough of him. 

The desperation lacing your voice makes Jungkook’s heart flutter, ready to comply with anything you want. He moans against your folds, a third finger adding to the delicious stretch. The wet clicks of his fingers thrusting into your drenched pussy fill the room, and it's the greed living inside of Jungkook that makes him want to thrust into you faster, make it so that all you can hear is the sound of your pleasure. 

Your breath hitches in your throat when he curves his fingers upwards, tickling the sweet spot that makes your eyes roll. That’s when you feel the familiar cool sensation of his rings once more. You were used to feeling them on your arms when he playfully pulled you around, used to the feeling of them on your cheeks when he gripped your face before kissing you, but feeling them against your cunt each time he thrust his fingers forward, it made your body burn up with lust. There was something about having the name of a club you were told to stay far away from pressed against you salaciously that only made the waves of pleasure you feel crash over you even harder. 

“Mm, close Jungkook,” you whine, your free hand sliding up your body to tug and pinch at your nipples. Jungkook peers up at you from between his thighs and the visual of you playing with yourself while he ate you out has him making a mess in his underwear. He doesn’t even care how easy it is for you to make him this needy, knowing you were enjoying yourself because of him was all that mattered. 

“Wanna feel you baby,” he mutters out, lips shiny with your arousal, fingers scissoring inside of you, feeling the way your walls tighten around him. Your hands grip his hair tighter, making him hiss, a breathy laugh hitting your messy folds when you guide his mouth back onto you. 

Jungkook knows you’re right on the edge, the craving for your release making you arch your back, moans of his name slurring together with pleas for more more. All it takes is a few more flicks of his tongue for your climax to crest, the prettiest moan he’s ever heard reaching his ears as you gush around his fingers. 

“There you go, good girl,” he groans, pulling back as he licks his lips, staring at your trembling body with eyes swimming with lust. His thumb replaces his mouth, rubbing your swollen clit, enjoying the way you writhe at the slight overstimulation. 

“Ah, ‘Guk,” you whimper. And the new nickname has him smiling, loving the way it sounds coming from you so much he almost doesn’t want to stop. It takes your small hands coming down to grip his wrist for him to finally pull away, your soft giggles of enjoyment coming to a halt when he slips his fingers into his mouth. 

“Told you I needed more than just a bite,” he teases, making an absolute show of licking his fingers. “What about you, are you satisfied?”

You lift yourself up with one arm, the other reaching forward to grip his belt loop, tugging him closer as you look up at him through your lashes. “Mm, no I don’t think I am.” His abs tense when your finger trails along his skin, toying with the button on his jeans, slowly popping them open and pulling down the zipper. 

“Then I need to fix that,” he mumbles, tongue flicking his lip ring as he stares down at you, watching the way you reach down to palm at his bulge. Your face lights up at his words, a smile spreading on your face as he helps you tug down his jeans, obviously eager. Jungkook’s smirk only deepens when your eyes widen once you finally release his cock, a small gasp escaping you at the size of him. 

Pearly beads of precum collect at his tip, swollen and aching for your touch, so when you finally grasp his length and swipe your thumb along the bulbous tip he lets out a deep groan that has your core clenching. 

“Fuck, babe.” He grunts when your palm starts to slide up and down, his eyes focused on the way you slowly inch forward, your tongue peeking out to gently lick his tip. Jungkook knows he’s in trouble, already feeling his body react to your touch. All you had done was give him a few teasing touches and his mind was already spinning. Its an inner battle as he watches you take more of him into your mouth, his jaw dropping at the warm feeling, hands clenching by his side when you moan at the taste of him. 

“Y/N,” he groans, “you’re gonna make me cum too fast.” You pop off of him with a wet smack, a saccharine smile on your lips as you giggle. 

“And that’s a bad thing?” Your head tilts as you question him, hand still lazily pumping his length. 

“It is when I want to fuck you first.” That makes your hand finally stop, brows raising in interest. Your free hand slides up his body, carefully cupping his face, guiding him down to kiss you. 

“Then fuck me, Jungkook. I’m yours,” you murmur against his lips, feeling him groan against you as he kisses you harder. You know what you mean. You’re his for the night, despite how strong your connection with him is, the reality was that as long as Minho had his claws sunk into you, there would never be a chance for you and Jungkook to delve deeper into this relationship. But this tiny bubble you were both in was enough for you. 

The energy is different than what you’re used to, the both of you smiling through the kisses, soft words whispered against skin as you help him take off his jeans. Jungkook’s laugh is infectious when you gasp at the sight of his thighs, the double headed wolf tattoo catching your attention immediately, praising it under your breath before he’s kissing you once more, telling you he’ll let you properly see it later as his hands grope your sides. 

“How do you want me?” you mumble, gently nipping his lip. 

“If it was my way I’d have you in every position I could think of. You tell me, baby.” If Jungkook let his selfish desires take over, he’d tell you he wanted you to ride him, let you bounce on top of him and use him while he got to watch your pretty face. But he can’t be that selfish, even if the small pestering voice in his head tells him that this might be his only chance to. Still, his eyes are soft as he pulls back, ringed hand caressing your face with a tenderness that makes your heart clench

“Can I ride you?” Your voice is timid, just above a whisper, but it makes Jungkook shut his eyes and groan. You see, he wasn’t corny, didn’t believe in fate or anything like that, but for a brief moment Jungkook's convinced this was meant to be. 

“Fuck,” he groans, leaning forward to rest his forhead against yours. “Yes, please.”

The way he begs makes your pussy ache, hips instinctively rolling up into his, enjoying the way he hisses, rutting his cock against your inner thigh. The beads of precum leak off his tip, leaving a small puddle by your hip, smeared around as he repeats the action. 

“O-okay,” you gasp, biting down on your lip as you peek at the visual, trying not to get lost in the way he teases himself. “Let me ‘Guk, wanna feel you.”

He nods, tendrils of hair tickling your face as he kisses you again before leaning back. You try not to stare but it's so hard when he looks like that, length hard and bobbing as he rummages through the drawer by his bed, a sheepish smile on his lips when he plucks out a shiny square packet. 

Your heart races in your chest as you sit up, coming onto your knees and crawling to the head of the bed, gently patting the space next to you. Jungkook’s quick to settle beside you, back leaning against the small headboard, large hands reaching to grab your hips and hoist you over his thighs. A small laugh escapes you at being manhandled, the toned muscles of his thighs felt underneath you, his cock poking at your belly from your proximity. 

Your eyes are glued to it, watching in awe as he pulls out the condom and carefully rolls it on, a small sigh meeting your ears. 

“Can’t wait to feel you,” you whisper, pressing a kiss to his jaw, your hand meeting his around his cock as you lift your hips just enough. His free hand finds your hip again as you guide his tip to your entrance, teasingly circling it, slipping the tip inside for a second before popping it back out, the two of you gasping at the feeling. 

“Mm, sit on it,” he groans, brows pinched together as he nudges his nose into your neck. Wet kisses mark your skin, his hand getting tighter on your hip when you repeat the action again before finally sinking further down. Your walls clench around him, the stretch making you whine. You had seen his size, knowing just how big he was, but now that he’s inside of you and you feel it, you pace yourself. 

It's unintentionally torturous, the warm tightness slowly enveloping more of him and all he could do was clench his jaw and grip you harder. Jungkook is patient, fighting every urge he has to thrust up or sit you down fully. Instead he murmurs praises into your skin, tells you how good you feel, how good you’re doing, that you’re almost there until you’re butt rests flush against his thighs. 

A shuddering breath hits his shoulder, your face coming up to stare at him properly now. He’s staring at you with hooded eyes, mouth slightly opened as he gasps when your walls flutter. 

“So big,” you mumble, kissing him gently, lips ghosting over his, hips slowly lifting an inch before coming back down. 

“I know, baby. Take your time.” He groans, kissing you harder, teeth clicking together in his haste, breathing into each other. Jungkook felt like he was dreaming, some sick fantasy teasing him while he slept, giving him a taste of you before reality would settle in and snatch it all away. But you don’t usually feel this way in his dreams, don’t dig your nails into his shoulder as you quicken your pace, your wetness dripping down his cock and pooling at the base. And Jungkook is glad that he prefers reality over his dreams for once. 

“Oh god ‘Guk,” you moan, skin slapping together with each rise and fall of your hips. His lips are coated in a sheen of spit, swollen from your kisses and gentle bites, but he gives you a smile, clearly enjoying your reaction to him. 

“Does it feel good baby?” he murmurs, voice deep and raspy at the edges, his hand sliding up your thighs, pressing into your tummy with a tilt to his head. “Feel nice and full?”

You shudder at his question, feeling the pressure of his palm, and you swear you can feel the tip of his cock nudging into it. “Y-yes, so good, so full. Just wanna fuck you forever.”

He hums, feeling your words deep inside of him. It makes him melt into the headboard, hand traveling further up until he has a handful of your tits in them. Jungkook plays with them a bit, finger pinching and twisting the hard buds, tugging gently at the silver bar, hearing you moan at the sensation. 

“You can fuck me whenever you want,” he grunts at a particular drop of your hips, the wetness aiding in your pace. 

“Really?”

“Mhm,” he groans, thumb rolling along your nipple, softly rutting up into you. “Just text me whenever you want it. Pretty face, delicious pussy, I’ll always be here for you.”

“You’re such a romantic,” you giggle, throwing your head back as you get lost in the motion. Jungkook laughs with you, arm scooping around your back to pull you closer, his mouth kissing up and down your neck, teeth grazing the surface with the urge to suck but he knows better. 

“Just for you,” he breathes into your skin, feeling you laugh again. 

It feels like nothing else matters, not the potential consequences to this, no worry about what this meant for your special friendship. All that matters is that Jungkook is grabbing you like he can’t get enough of you, kissing you like his life depends on it, not shy at all at vocalizing how good it all feels. 

“Wanna cum,” you gasp, cupping his face, seeing the way he focuses on your lips as you speak. 

“Yeah? Tell me what you need.” He bends his knees slightly, pressure on his heels as he fucks up into you. The jiggle of your tits makes his mouth water, caught in a daze. 

“Need you to touch me.” It's the softest plea, tone dripping and needy, making Jungkook nod immediately. He bites his lip as he trails a hand up your chest, over your neck until he’s cupping your jaw, his thumb rubbing along your lower lip. With a gentle tap, you’re opening up, eyes locked together as you wrap your lips around the digit and suck, giving him a teasing bite as he tries to pull it out. 

He smiles at you, bringing down his soaked thumb in between your bodies until it reaches home directly onto your clit. The sudden touch makes you gasp, bundle of nerves swollen and sensitive, and its almost too much. But he’s gentle, easing you into the feeling, only applying more pressure when you finally relax, falling back into the delicious rhythm you have going. 

Jungkook can feel the coil tightening inside of him with each pulse of your pussy, walls clamping around him on each lift, making an absolute mess as the arousal drips onto his balls. 

“More?” He quickens his finger, circling your clit faster, paying close attention to your reaction. 

“Oh, fuck. No, like that. Just like that.” So he does, jaw dropped open as he watches you get lost in it all, bouncing on top of him as fast as you wanted, using him just like he wanted. Your thighs burn but it feels too good to think about stopping, the beginning signs of your orgasm licking at your skin, encouraging you to fuck him faster. You can hear how messy you’re leaving him, the squelch of your pussy blending in with the moans and thumping of the headboard. 

“Close, fuck—ah,” you stutter and gasp, brows pinched together tightly, only able to stare at him as you start to fall apart. He looks at you in awe, breathing in time with you, matching each gasp and moan, thumb slipping around in your slick. It's the accidental flick of his that has you tumbling over the edge, nearly shrieking out his name as your high comes barreling at you. 

Jungkook curses under his breath as you tremble above him. Your hand curls into his hair, yanking him forward into a messy kiss as you moan unabashedly, his thumb continuing to flick along your puffy clit for another minute to work you through it before he’s clutching onto your hips and controlling your speed. You’re still twitching at the aftershocks, small sparks kissing your skin and leaving you in a comfortable haze as you tangle your tongue with his, pulling back with a smile so sweet. 

“I wanna see you cum Jungkook,” you kiss him again, teasing him as you pull away and watch him chase you for more. “Made me feel so good, want you to cum for me.”

Jungkook groans, nodding as he wraps his arm around you, pushing off the headboard until the air is whooshing around you and your back is meeting the sheets once more. He cages you in easily, arms under your back, cradling your head as he buries his face into your neck and surges his hips into you. 

Your breath leaves you at the change in position, legs wrapping around his hips, shuddering as his pelvis nudges your sensitive clit. He doesn’t care how desperate he looks, fucking you like he was starved of affection, the need to cum taking over all of his senses. 

“Fuck, you’re so hot.” Your nails dig into his back, scratching along his skin, making him groan into your ear. His thrusts grow more sporadic, shallow, losing their grace as your purposefully clench around him. 

“Oh shit, you’re gonna make me cum.” He whines, voice breathy against your neck, and you swear you’ll cum again. 

“Yeah? Cum for me, c’mon,” you whisper, grazing his back and tightening your walls again. He nods against you before he’s leaning back, giving you the view you so sweetly asked for. His thick brows are furrowed on his forehead, eyes heady with lust, and a deep groan of your name spilling past his lips as he cums. Your feet urge him closer as his hips stutter, rutting into you to milk his orgasm as he fills up the condom. 

The room falls quiet for a moment, the both of you catching your breath, hearts slowing down as the high settles over your bones. And then he’s laughing, flopping back over you and tightening his hold on your body. 

“Why are you laughing?” You giggle too, hands running through his hair as you smile in a love sick daze. 

“I don’t think I’ve ever came that hard,” he admits sheepishly, kissing your warm skin, leaning back with a childish smile as he kisses your nose and ever so slowly starts to pull out of you. The sound is filthy, core sensitive and messy, and when he fully pulls out you can’t help but close your legs. 

He simply laughs, hand softly rubbing at your calves before he’s getting up and disposing of the condom. 

You’re still in that same foggy haze from earlier, even as Jungkook returns with a damp cloth to clean you up, all you can do is hum in thanks as you melt into his sheets. It doesn’t take long for him to settle in beside you again, holding you close, hand tickling the skin of the thigh you have hooked over his hip. 

“You have such pretty legs.” It’s a soft compliment, almost like it wasn’t meant to escape him. But when you look at him with a sincere smile he continues. “If you were mine I’d beg you to wear skirts all the time just so I could stare at them, touch them—“ he grips your thighs playfully, smiling at your laugh, “I’d be able to flick it up so easily and fuck you in it.”

Your laugh is louder now, your hand playfully swatting at his chest at how quick he was to get raunchy. 

If you were mine. 

That phrase repeats in your mind, sounding like a sweet song that you’d never get tired of hearing. 

“I’ll wear one at the meet next week,” you promise, running your hand over his chest. You knew you’d be seeing him there, able to freely ogle at him with all the neighboring clubs gathered together in an attempt to keep the peace. You might not be able to interact like you usually do, but just seeing him was enough. 

Just as he’s about to reply, the sound of a familiar engine cuts the air. You freeze instantly, wide eyes staring at Jungkook, seeing the confused look on his face. He lifts a hand up, motioning for you to stay as he sits up straighter, ears perking up when he hears the front door of the clubhouse open up. 

“Stay here. They won’t come in here but I know they saw my bike so I’ll get rid of them.” You can only nod as he hurries into his clothes, buttoning his jeans in a haste and deciding to forgo his shirt and shoes as he all but runs out of the room, shutting the door behind him. 

The haze you felt earlier is long gone, anxiety settling into your bones once more, realizing just what sort of situation you were in. Jungkook seemed to think the golden rule of staying away from Cobras was fine with you, but who knows just what kind of loyalty the Six member in the other room holds. 

All you needed was one man hell bent on loyalty to come barging in, and you don’t even want to think of what would become of you. Your heart rattles in your chest as you sit up too, eyes glancing around the room to find your pile of clothes. 

You can hear them mumbling in the main room, Jungkook’s laughter sounding out as he jokes around with his fellow brother. You can only imagine what he’s telling him, maybe explaining why theres a second bike parked next to his, or giving his reason for being shirtless and disheveled at the clubhouse this late in the day. Whatever is going on, you know you shouldn’t wait around to see how it plays out. Being with Jungkook makes reality pause, fade away and leave you to believe that things were meant to be this easy. 

But that's not your reality. 

You knew you wanted this to happen, could still feel the butterflies in your stomach as you remember the way he kissed your skin. But you couldn’t let the line be crossed this far again. You’re not sure karma would be too kind to you the next time. 

As quiet as you can, you slip out of bed, carefully putting your clothes back on and looking at the desk in the corner. Before you overthink it, you grab the pen and notepad he has resting on top of paperwork, scribbling out a quick note before you’re returning to his bedside, yanking up the curtains and wiggling the window open to slip out. 

Back in the main room, Jungkook is sitting on the bar stool, Hoseok resting against the counter as they both joke around. Jungkook is thankful that Hoseok doesn’t seem to ask too many questions, knowing very well that he must have some girl in the room, but he wasn’t nosey enough to want to know who. 

“So you’re not gonna introduce your friend?” he jokes, giving Jungkook a coy smile, enjoying the way his younger friend blushes and shoves his shoulder. 

“No you weirdo, you fucking scared her by showing up like this. Why the hell are you here anyway?”

Hoseok cackles, pushing away from the counter and walking towards the meeting room. “Sorry, I didn't mean to be a cockblock. I forgot to grab some paperwork.” The way he says it makes it seem like it was work documents, contracts that needed to be signed instead of files detailing the amount of guns they’d be receiving in the next drop. He disappears into the room, returning a few moments later with the folder in his hand. “I’ll be out of your hair now.”

And he does just that, waving goodbye and stepping back outside. But as he approaches his bike he realizes the bike he had seen next to Jungkook’s was missing now. 

Jungkook is none the wiser as he walks back to his room, a smile on his face that falls when he doesn’t see you on the bed. The sheets are a mess, your clothes are missing, his curtains are drawn up and his window remains cracked open. He steps closer now, a white sheet of paper catching his attention on his desk. 

Thanks for the tour, I think your room might be my favorite<3 Remember, we take this to our graves. We’ll kiss on it over sour straws soon x

Ps. I’ll see you at the meet, I’ll be the one in the short skirt. 

Maybe it's the sick hopefulness he feels in his chest, but Jungkook can’t help but smile as he thinks this won’t be the last time afterall.

[sirensdollesque]

"there's no helping this"

rating:angst

warnings:matt and reader breakup

it'd been days since you last spoken to matt, whatever conversation you did have ended quickly and with a pang to your chest. Matt was different now, the once loving sweet boy you'd fallen in love with was cold now.

you were sat on the couch when you heard the door open, matt walked in and tossed his keys not even looking towards you. "how was your day?" you asked, trying to get a word out of him, "was fine." you hummed, you knew asking him to talk was gonna start problems, but if you were honest, you didnt even care anymore.

"hey, can we talk, please?" your words hung in uncomfortable silence, matt sighed and turned to you, "can we talk later? I just got home and 'm tired," "Matt we haven't talked in weeks, when was the last time we had a proper conversation?" you sighed between words, you weren't trying to argue, you just wanted to talk to matt again.

"you always do this shit! I just wanna get home and relax and you gotta get on me for something!" by the time matt had said it and processed it was far too late for you to even forgive him. "you think I enjoy this Matthew? you think I enjoy arguing?! I dont, but lately it seems im dating a stranger! I dont know you anymore matt, you aren't who you were when I fell in love with you." your voice cracked as your throat burned with tears you refused to let fall, but at this moment you knew that this no longer was going to work.

the silence that lingered after you spoke was uneasy, both of you in the same room matt staring at you and you staring at a spot on the rug, you took a small breath and broke the silence "I- we can't continue like this, it's clearly not working anymore and, I dont think we can fix this." Matt scoffed, his voice was drenched with bitterness, "so what? you're just gonna stop fighting for us?" you sighed and looked at him, "enlighten me Matthew, what is there left to fight for?"

the words stung as they came out your mouth but you knew that you couldn't stay here anymore, "so you're serious? this is done?" for the first time in weeks, you could see Matt's eyes show something other that coldness and for a second, you almost took it back.

"there's no helping this, no helping us, I really loved you Matthew, but you aren't the man I fell in love with anymore." your words hung in the air as you got up and walked out the door, and for the first time, matt finally understood how badly he messed up.

and how this time, he couldn't fix it.

torispeaks🐚-song of the day is "briston" by Sydney rose

tags- @secretlocket @sturns-mermaid @freshloveee @ch6rm @chrisissobabygirl @immaqulate @strnilolover @submattsgf @joces-wrld @throatgoat4u @jensturnss @sweetshuga @oopsiedaisydeer @theyluvivi @stvrniolostan @lyingonchris @courta13 @moth-feeet @stvrniolostan

[aventurineswife]

hi! if you still write for obey me i'd like to make a request (if not then uhm ignore this CAUSE THATS SO EMBARRASSING)

anyways.. i was wondering if you could do an mc who's like.. black pearl cookie (but obviously dont make the mc a cookie😭) it would be pretty cool cause in her story they were betrayed by a cookie pirate causing her to turn evil, and in this au the mc could have been betrayed a demon (for the funsies, yk)

then again its completely up to you about what you wish to write! these were just some cool ideas in my head because im getting a little too hyperfixated on black pearl cookie! thanks for looking at my idea!

The Monster Beneath the Waves

Tags: Lucifer x Reader, Mammon x Reader, Barbatos x Reader, Angst, Betrayal, Emotional Struggles, Dark Themes, Hurt/Comfort, Vulnerability, Regret, Complex Relationships, Redemption Arc.

Warnings: Mild language, Emotional manipulation, Betrayal, Self-isolation, Dark emotional themes, Strained relationships, Potential triggering content around trust issues and past trauma.

You stand at the edge of the Devildom’s cliffs, your eyes fixed on the horizon, the sea of chaos stretching out before you. Your once gentle heart now only knows the bitterness of betrayal, and the vast ocean seems like the only place where you could drown out the memories of a love lost, a trust broken.

Lucifer steps behind you, his footsteps silent, but you can feel his presence like a weight settling next to you. His overcoat billows in the wind, his eyes narrowing at you, studying you like an intricate puzzle. He knows you’ve changed. He saw it when the once-soft light in your eyes turned cold. The day you were betrayed, he had warned you, but you never listened.

"Do you think," Lucifer’s voice breaks the silence, his tone low and calculating, "that running away will truly erase it?"

You turn to him, your emotions carefully masked beneath the steely surface. "I don’t need anyone anymore, Lucifer. The ocean will be my sanctuary, away from all this chaos you call family. Away from him. Away from everything."

Lucifer watches you carefully, his gaze lingering for a moment longer than usual. "You speak of peace, but what you truly seek is revenge, isn't it?" He steps closer, his voice taking on an edge you can’t ignore. "I can help you, if that’s truly what you want. But know this—once you follow this path, there is no turning back."

You swallow hard, your eyes welling with the bitter memories of the demon who shattered your trust. "I have nothing left to lose."

Lucifer smirks, as if he’s seen this before. His fingers brush the top of your hand, cold yet deliberate, almost as if to claim you. "Then you shall have everything you desire, for I, too, know the weight of betrayal."

Mammon leans against the wall, his eyes gleaming with a mischievous shine, but beneath the surface, he senses something different about you. Since that day—the day he betrayed you, everything changed.

"Ya know," Mammon says with his usual cocky grin, "if yer looking for something to do, The Great Mammon is always up for a little treasure hunt. Could be a way to fill that… void ya got, ya know?"

You glance at him, your expression blank. Mammon notices that familiar spark of warmth in your eyes that used to be there, but now it’s only a reflection of the icy seas you once called home.

"Don’t," you snap, voice cracking for a moment before you regain control. "Don’t pretend like I’m the same. You weren’t there. You didn’t see him sell the last thing I trusted. You didn’t feel what it was like to be used."

Mammon's smirk falters, and his eyes soften. He pushes himself off the wall, moving closer, trying to bridge the gap between the two of you.

"Ya think I don’t regret it? That I don’t know I messed up?" Mammon’s voice becomes quieter, and for once, the usual bravado fades away. "I didn’t mean to hurt ya… I didn't… I just—"

"Don’t," you cut him off again, shaking your head. "It’s too late for apologies, Mammon. I’m done with the likes of you."

Mammon’s shoulders slump as if the weight of your words crushes him. "If ya really think ya can find peace out there, in that cold sea, then fine. But don’t forget, I was the one who tried to keep ya from sinking."

Barbatos’s soft footsteps echo down the marble halls of the Demon Lord’s Castle. He had always been the picture of calm, but lately, there’s a quiet anxiety in his movements whenever he sees you. The sharp edge to your demeanor, the coldness you now wear like a shield, hasn’t escaped his notice.

He stands by your side, watching as you stare at the grand clock, its ticking only serving to remind you of the seconds slipping away. There’s a tension between you two, a distance that wasn’t there before. Your heart had once been pure, unbroken, but now… now it’s filled with something darker.

"Perhaps," Barbatos begins softly, his gaze never leaving your face, "you’ve forgotten the path you once walked. But I haven't. I remember the kindness you used to show, the trust you had, and I can't help but mourn its loss."

You turn your eyes to him, and Barbatos’s breath hitches as he sees the pain in your gaze, mingled with the twisted resolve that’s taken root.

"Don’t pity me," you whisper, your voice laced with a venom that sends a chill down his spine. "You don’t understand. He betrayed me. A demon I once trusted. He took something I gave in good faith, and I’ll never forgive him for that. Never."

Barbatos’s expression softens, but there’s no pity in his eyes—only an understanding, a subtle sadness. "I cannot undo what has been done," he says quietly, stepping closer. "But I do know that turning your back on everything you once believed in will only lead you down a darker path."

"I’ve already walked that path," you reply, your eyes flashing with a dangerous glint. "And I’ll make sure no one will ever hurt me again. Not even you."

Barbatos’s hand reaches out, almost imperceptibly, as if he hopes to touch the remnants of the person you once were. "I would never hurt you," he says, his voice a soft plea. "But if you insist on walking this path of vengeance, know that I will stand by you, even if I have to face the consequences."

You meet his gaze, and for a moment, you see the flicker of something—something that could have been love, if only things had turned out differently.

[wh1ski]

His Hot Mess

pairing : human!sukuna / femreader

rating + word count : explicit + 2.8k

tags : public, you two are exs, guy gets beaten up, jealousy, mentions of training, hair pulling, in front of a mirror, slight degradation, angry sex, talks about forced sex but not actually forced, guys omg i need to get better at tagging.

i totally had to shorten this a bunch. ask box is open for requests. enjoy </3 !

to put it short, you were supposed to be done with him. he was an annoying fucking control freak who thought the world revolved around him. that’s just not life ! but, as you stared at the guy you had been making out with laying on the floor of the club bathroom covered in his own blood - your panties never seemed more wetter. you chose to ignore that last part though.

sukuna was standing over him, toothpick between his teeth as he looked down at him with a bored expression. it wasn’t the guys fault, you kind of felt sorry for him. you were just trying to fuck to forget. coming to your favorite club dressed in a very exposing dress, sitting at the bar until someone grew the balls to come talk to you. it's as if sukuna could sense whenever someone else touched you. five minutes into a heated makeout session and the poor guy was being snatched away and beaten into a pulp.

you didn’t want to give him the satisfaction, choosing to cross your arms and glare at sukuna instead. “you dumb idiot, you can’t beat up every fucking guy i decide to fuck!” you yelled, turning around to fix your lipstick in the mirror - ready to go right back out and find someone else to dry hump. just who did your ex think he was?! honestly, it was getting out of hand at this point.

you two have been broken up for two entire months and for some reason everytime you got a man in your bed he would be in the hospital the next day. sometimes you would just be texting a guy and suddenly a message about how they were not worthy would get sent to you and then you would see his hand was broken the next day in public. you weren’t stupid, you know it was the giant idiot next to you doing all of this.

“were you really going to stoop so low and fuck someone like him?” sukuna said, twirling the toothpick with his tongue as he kicked at the guys head - who just groaned and curled further into a ball. “you really think someone like this deserves to touch you? have you no self respect?” you snapped, turning around to slap him in his face. he didn't even budge, instead a smirk spread across his face and god, he looked so good you wanted to kill him.

“leave me the fuck alone, sukuna. we are done, we are finished. you are nothing but a fucking dick to me.” you sneered, going to walk past him when he stopped you by wrapping his hand across your throat. you wanted to fight back but your body just seemed to want to listen to him and it made you even more mad. sukuna leaned down, licking a strip up your neck, “oh, im nothing but a dick to you now?” wrong word choice.

the pitiful fight you were attempting to put up was useless, sukuna was almost a foot taller than you, broader, nothing but muscle. that didn’t stop you though as you scratched at his neck, his face, his arms ( fuck his biceps were so nice ). sukuna just laughed, reaching a hand between your legs to pull down your underwear as you thrashed in his hold. “oh come on. you said it yourself: i'm nothing but a dick to you. dont you want to use me just a little bit?” his cocky attitude was pissing you off. you found yourself wishing sukuna had walked in when the other guy was already deep inside of you. anything to wipe that smirk off his very attractive annoying face.

“so this is what we’re doing? you’re going to beat the shit out of some guy and then force yourself on me?” you asked him, trying to hit him but finding both your wrists held in one of his hands. he shrugged, looking down at you and licking his lips. his split tongue did not help your attraction to him, making him look dangerous, monster-like even. “do you honestly think this is me forcing myself on you? i can show you force.” he whispered deeply, yanking you by your throat and slamming your lips against his. it was all spit, all teeth clashing against each other and a hint of iron as he bit your bottom lip hard enough to draw blood.

part of you wanted to submit to him but that part was denied as you tried your hardest to win dominance over him, win some sort of control. sukuna made you feel so small, so insignificant, easily replaceable - it's the main reason you two broke up. but your body was undeniably his and his alone. no man could ever make you feel the way he made you feel, cum the way he made you cum, thoughts numb, screaming loudly as he rocked into you harder because he knew it too. he knew he could have you in the palm of his hand within a few seconds.

and thats just what happened. your fighting turned to moaning, your struggling turned to pulling him closer and sukuna just smiled in the kiss, humming as he felt you finally cave into him. you hated that about him and loved it all the same. he pulled back, rubbing his thumb against your throat, “this doesn’t seem like im forcing myself on you. what happened? run out of steam for our little fight? i was kind of enjoying your pathetic attempt at resisting though, you could have done a lot better. are you not embarrassed right now?” before you could say anything in return ( something snarky and didnt make sense ), he was turning you around towards the mirror and pushing you down over the counter.

this was a very risky thing to do. this was a public bathroom, anyone could walk in at any moment… not to mention there was still a badly beaten guy a few inches away from the two of you. this would not look good at all. “um… is this really a good idea?” you asked, staring at his reflection in front of you. sukuna made a noise of disbelief, shrugging his shoulders, “just a few seconds ago you were whining into another mans mouth, ready to fuck on command. but since it's me, you have the audacity to question the situation. interesting.” there was a look of distaste on his face, his eyes darkening with jealousy, disgust, lust, anger. the look went straight to your groin, heating your lower stomach and making you rub your knees together. awe he was going to destroy you ! wait, no. oh no, he was going to destroy you.

you bit your lip staring back at yourself in anxiousness. your mouth was swollen, eyes big and bright, blood on your chin from the erratic kiss you two had shared. it was easy to make sukunas temper flare up… you decided since the two of you aren’t together anymore to do just that. make him angry. “well, i bet he would have been a better lay. i felt his dick press against me when we were kissing… huge.” you mouthed the last word, smirking as you waited for sukuna to react. there were a few moments of silence, where you hoped he wasn't going to walk off, and then he was clearing his throat, taking his trenchcoat off slowly all while avoiding eye contact as he hung it up on the hook. unbuckling his belt as he hummed a tune to himself, pulling it off and setting it on the counter next to you. your stomach was turning and twisting in anticipation, thoughts flooding your head as you awaited ( what you hoped ) would be a lovely little punishment for your words.

truth be told, even though you have slept with other men since the two of you ended things, none have made you cum. your fingers were never enough, the toys never satisfying and leaving you longing for the real thing even more. this was all a show, all a little show because now you two weren’t together and the possibilities were endless. “hmm.. what? cat got your tongue?” you asked him, tilting your head to the side with a fake pout. huge mistake.

he yanked your head back by your hair, making you wince at the pain. his hand moving to the front of your dress and ripping it open, your breasts popping out. he leaned over you, his expression neutral but you knew he was livid. you could see it in his eyes, something sinister and twisted deep in them. “you want to keep fucking talking to me that way, princess?” his voice was thickened with anger, deeper than usual and it made you let out a whine. but it wasn’t enough to stop you from talking back, “are you going to do nothing but talk or are you going to finally fuck me, prince?” bingo.

his eyes flared, turning you around to pick you up and place you on the counter, placing his hand on the ripped fabric and completely pulling you out of the ruined dress. oh yay no. “i can’t believe you would think it's okay to talk to me like that. im a fucking king and you are just a bitch i can replace whenever i fucking feel like it.”

“then why don't you go do that then!” silence. you knew why he didn't, you knew why he chose to stalk you from a distance. sukuna loved you, he just didn’t love you properly. the downfall of both you, an unavoidable experience. the lovesick girl and the emotionally unavailable boy, bound to be nothing more than a failed experience and live the rest of their lives with the scent of the other lingering off of them. he didn't say anything, just sucked his teeth, pushed you to the mirror and leaned his face right between your legs, pushing them up on the counter.

the first lick sent chills down your spine, the second had you let out a moan. by the fifth, your legs were wrapped around his head and you were a whining mess. he ate you out so good, his tongue perfect in every way. he didnt just eat you out, he was more like devouring you, tongue fucking you into oblivion, sucking and licking at your clit. no fingers were needed to get you off and he knew it, too cocky with this skill that sometimes had you wondering just where he learned that. you grinded on his face, hands in his hair as you all but shouted his name. maybe no one was coming into the bathroom because it was very obvious what was happening.

sukuna lifted his head to spit on your pussy, his nose, cheeks and chin completely wet. he looked filthy, he looked unhinged, you wanted to consume him. after a few more moments, he pulled back and wiped his face, smirking as he leaned to give you a kiss. your boy, your man, your beast. he picked you up, rubbing his dick against you. you hadn’t even noticed he had been stroking himself while he tasted you. “our breakup has made you start to talk too much. all my hard work went to waste, all the training. we’ll just have to start over, huh?” you wanted to say something back but then he was pushing his full length into you, shoving you down on him and there were no words left to be said.

“oh what's that? cat got your tongue?” he mocked and you could do nothing but stare at him dumbfounded. you missed this, you missed how full he made you feel, you missed the way he looked at you with so much admiration and need. as he started moving, you wrapped your arms around his neck, moaning loudly at the sounds your pussy was making for him.

“i could break you if i really fucking wanted to.” your head was bouncing as he pounded into you, his arms wrapped around your waist as he lifted you up and down on his shaft, breasts pressed between the two of you with how close he was holding you. trying ( and failing ) to utter out some sort of comeback left sukuna laughing, a smirk showing his pointed teeth. “want me to stop so you can talk?” he asked, stopping his thrusting and giving you a look of amusement as he waited. it was pathetic really, your mouth opened and closed like some sort of fish trying to think of something to say. when you couldnt, sukuna just sucked his teeth and went back to pounding into you. “that’s what i fucking thought.”

you wanted to reply with something snarky but couldn’t form anything other than please, dont stop, just like that, sukuna. melting for him, wet for him. you put your head in the crook of his neck, clawing at his shirt, nails scratching his skin through the fabric. “don’t wanna look at me now?” he snapped, pulling himself out and putting you back down, your knees weak as you held his arm for support. he turned you around, pushing you against the counter, nipples growing hard at the cold contact. “you’re gunna watch me fuck you and you’re gunna watch yourself love it.” he grabbed you by your hair, holding your head up so you had no choice but to stare at the reflection in front of you.

nasty it was. you looked fucked out, he looked feral. you naked with nothing but your heels on and him with his dick out on full display. he eased back into you, tightening his grip on his hair as he slowly pulled back out before snapping his hips forward quickly. “fuck,” he groaned, “i know you missed me, just say you did. can’t nobody fuck you like i can.” thrust. “listen to how wet you sound for me. such a needy girl. i can't believe i deprived my princess.” thrust. “say it. tell me who you belong to.”

and you did, shouting and moaning his name as your legs grew weaker with each snap of his hips. your stomach was growing tight, your legs shaking and daring to give out. he must have noticed because soon his hands were around your waist and lifting you up, arms under your knees and pussy on full display in front of the mirror. “don’t close your eyes. watch it.” he murmured in your ear as you stared with your mouth agap, watching as he fucked right into you.

everything felt so overstimulating. the music from the club, the lewd sounds sukuna was making come out of you, the view of your pussy sucking him in thrust after thrust. you threw your head back against him in pleasure, almost screaming as you felt yourself move closer to your climax. “gonna cum for me? you’re fucking gorgeous. my girl, my beautiful girl. you take my dick so fucking well. look at how pretty your pussy is with me filling it up.” you came so hard, your legs tensing up as you squirted, watching the fluid drip down his dick and onto the ground. “there you go. god, you came so much. you missed me, didn’t you?”

you did, you did, fuck you did. his grip tightened as he held you in place, fucking you like some monster in rut. he was talking to you but your head was so foggy all you could focus on was him inside you. he said something like: such a good fucking girl for me before you snapped back into reality and focused on what he was saying. “i missed your fucking pussy baby. mine, all mine, all fucking mine.” he groaned out, biting the side of your neck to leave his mark before cumming right in you. it was the lewdest thing to witness: your cum and his spilling out of you.

for a second the two of you just stood there. him whispering in your ear and forcing you watch as he slowly fucked into you, the cum seeping out and onto the floor. sukuna placed you on the floor, holding you around the waist so you didn’t fall. “next time we need a bed and about a yard of rope. i wonder if you can talk that much shit with your panties in your mouth.” what a dick. you loved hated him…

he grabbed his trenchcoat and placed it on your shoulders. going on and on about how he would be moving back in tomorrow, something that you never agreed to. but who were you to deny him? and if there was a long line of red-faced people when you walked out of the bathroom, that was okay too.

[sheepispink]

Crushed Expectations are better with you

tags: leon kennedy/reader, fluff, enemies to friends to lovers, can be seen as platonic tho, they sleep together 😍, literally tho, arguing and banter they’re such cuties

Masterlist

Summary: When Leon and Reader fight for an opportunity to work in a real DSO taskforce, they eventually both manage to get a place in differing teams. However, when the day comes to an end, the hopes they had for the week ahead had been flattened completely. So naturally, they bicker as any sworn enemies do… and fluff ensues just like any enemies story.

Notes: this is NOT re2 leon even if it is rught after re2. Umm it’s kind of before re4 but not but kind of?;’;? also hai massive disclaimer reader and leon lowkey laugh at someone throwing up after seeing blood. THE PERSON WHO DID IT WAS AN EXPERIENCED AGENT, NOT A RANDOMER, SHE’S SEEN BLOOD PLENTY SO THEY’RE CONFUSED. theres worse stuff on this damn website but i dont want anyone to think i’m bullying them for their phobia, honest its not in that context anyway just read before i die

WC: 3.9k

You can’t remember when you first locked your heart on an opportunity like this; it seemed like your lifelong dream. The only thing that came to mind was the board meeting with the rest of the rookies you had been training beside for the past three months. A chance to prove yourself and join an actual task force—not just stupid patrols around the block but real, actual missions. It was like your mind salivated at the mere thought of it, your heart instantly picking up pace; the idea of actually wielding a handgun and fighting off drug groups or even mafia was like a seed that was deep rooted into your mind. It fills you with a bright buzz of adrenaline, but unfortunately you’re not the only one who seems to live for this high. Leon wouldn’t dare back down on such a promising idea, so when you both happened to get the place for the internship, anger and betrayal festered in your hearts quickly.

“There's supposed to be one place!”

Leon argued with the director, refusing to believe he had slaved away his life graduating from the police academy, surviving an infested city, and all of this extra‘special’ training only for you to get in regardless of his efforts. Of course you were the same, believing you should’ve been the first to be accepted due to the efforts you constantly put forward.

“Both of you, quiet. The decision is final, we need another person to fill for an injured teammate, so now there are two openings. Now shoo.”

The pair of you didn’t need to look at each other to know the glare on the other’s face. This rivalry was born in the harsh conditions this job forced you two to undertake and the reality of the state of the world right now—trust no one and fight to survive. Leon knew that far too well, and so the feud started the day he saw how fast you managed to beat his record in one of the courses. He had to be better; he promised himself that this time it would be different—it had to be.

On the first day of the job, you were brimming with excitement, arriving far earlier than recommended and even going so far as to prepare something to meet the team with. Time seems to go by quickly when you’re having fun, and while something as serious as this was hardly the idea of fun to many, it certainly seemed like this opportunity would fly by just from how eager you were to start.

If a train could run completely off the rails even with the driver built for the job and perfectly fine tracks, that’s exactly how you’d describe your current situation. An unprecedented mess.

You stumble into the common area following your fifth heavy sigh of the day and likely not the last of the week. The rookies who didn’t get a place in one of the task forces were sent off to observe and shadow a team in the Whitehouse. Also known as the most boring job ever and the superiors just trying to fob off the worst of the crop elsewhere. Luckily for you, this meant this whole space, not that it was very big, was all yours for the next week or so. It’s hardly enough compensation to even balance the scales with the crap you dealt with today, but that doesn’t mean you’ll pass off the chance to actually relax in between the craze that is known as your life. The little table that somehow turned into a snack bar catches your eyes immediately; it’s always empty due to greedy rookies with zero manners. You roll your eyes at the thought of those rowdy savages finishing the stock before the afternoon and brew yourself a cup of tea, thinking over what you could watch on the TV there before heading to bed. The possibilities are endless; hell, you could even watch My Little Pony and no one would bat an eye—perks of being the only one here, you suppose. Though not enough to lighten your flattened mood, you stir your tea anyway and settle on an action movie to actually compensate for everything you had missed out on today—especially the excitement.

“Better head back to your room, this place is mine tonight.” A cocky voice echoes out in the room and thus causes you to spin around a little too fast, instantly freezing from the hot tea splashing onto your sleeve. Surprisingly, spilling the tea was the least of your problems, as you had seemed to meet your worst nightmare on the couch, remote control claimed by his hand as he flicked through Netflix.

Your jaw is practically on the floor—why the hell is he here?! Fighting for the space in the agency, constantly belittling you during training, and even the raised eyebrows each time you failed—that you could handle, but this snapped the thread that was already thinning quickly.

“What the hell are you doing here?!” You exclaim before promptly storming over to the couch, disbelief in your voice and tea still dripping down your arms. Even though a small part of you knows he’s technically allowed to be here too since he technically got a space in the other task force, it doesn't mean you’re not allowed to be infuriated by his sudden intrusion.

“Woah, easy there, sweetheart.”

Leon’s eyebrows furrow as well as his lips turn to form a frown, and before he can even roll his eyes, they’re already swirling with something else. Someone might even argue concern.

“You dropped your hot tea all over yourself; seriously, how did you get that internship when you’re this careless?”

His hand wraps around your wrist in a firm grip as he tugs you down onto the couch, grabbing tissues from the box on the coffee table with his free hand. Thankfully, the tea wasn’t enough to burn your skin, though he thought it had for a moment. Guess you can't get mad at the crappy kettle in here anymore.

“I can do it myself—“

His actions only serve to embarrass you—you’re not some kid to be coddled; you can handle yourself. Snatching the tissues from his hands and wiping down your arms, a slightly embarrassed huff escapes, which is more annoyed at his presence than the sting of the sudden heat.

“You do realise I'm staying back here too? Just because I joined a different task force doesn't mean I'm in another country.” He scoffs, chewing down on a particularly large chocolate cookie. Settled on the couch now and having dealt with the tea long ago, you nibble at some of the cookies you never have a chance at getting. The pair of you seemed to have the same idea, having brought your duvet and pillows from your own quarters to turn the couch here into your bed. But that ultimately failed upon realising the other was there; so now you sit at opposite ends, curled up in your own duvets, and throw each other the occasional glare if you even brush legs.

“Well, still— I was here first. You should’ve just gone.” You argue, not about to just let this slide so quickly. He’d be damned if he thought you’d just allow him to walk all over you like this. Leon scoffs in response, leaning over to steal one of the biscuits you took from the snackbar.

“Yeah, as if. I got the couch first, you know; you should really just go make your little tea and run along. Oh no—I can't let you do that; you might spill it again, and I'll have you clean you up.”

Leon’s words only rile you up more, especially since he robbed one of your biscuits, the chocolate one at that. Sure, the snackbar had plenty of them, but that still counts as thievery in your books.

“Shut up about the tea already; you’re so damn annoying. I bet you’ll just go boast about the amazing day today you had too, huh?”

That pisses him off; he wasn't initially annoyed by your presence—always taking the opportunity to agitate you as much as possible—but he definitely is now. He shifts in his seat so he’s facing you directly, harsh sarcasm written in his eyes.

“Oh? I had the best day? Right—like you aren't going to one up me straight after I speak. I bet you’re just itching to tell me all about how they’re going to extend your internship.”

The pair of you go back and forth, your own crashing disappointment mixed with the horrible mistreatment fuelling this anger towards him for no apparent reason. In your head, he’s trying to spite you and brag in order to prove that he’s better. It makes your blood boil until both the blankets along with the crumbs left behind slip onto the floor.

On his side, he’s brimming with the fantasy of just punching you right there. Look at you, trying to rub it in his face. You’re so selfish and rude, and it makes his mind cloud with frustration and rage, unable to even think clearly. Neither of you can realise how stupid this argument is or the pointlessness of it all. So, the next ten or so minutes are spent spewing out every insult in the book, tearing each other down, and only making the anger shared between the two of you fester into hatred.

“You think I have a big ego? You started this whole argument to piss me off because you got the better end of the stick. You’re nothing but a selfish, disgusting—“

He shouts, practically scrambling up and ready to yank you by your collar just to put you in your place for once. He doesn't know what else he’ll do, but he wants to shut you up desperately.

“Better end of the stick?! I had the worst day anyone could ever have—I should’ve just let you take the damn position!” You cry out, frustrated and even more annoyed at how he freely insults you. You’ve had enough of that today; if you take anymore, you might just lose it.

Leon suddenly pauses, blinks at you, and just stares blankly with wide eyes. “Your day.. it didn't go well either?”

Now it's your turn to stare at him like an idiot, confused by his words. Didn't he know that already? You thought he was doing all this because he knew it hadn't gone as expected.

“Either? What do you mean? Did yours not..”

“Go well, yes. Mine was terrible too. Like trying to prove myself to a brick wall.”

That makes you let out a sudden snort as you watch him sit back slightly, finding the words very relatable in your situation as well. Snorting turns to giggling, and you’re soon full of laughter with a small grin on your face. He can't help but crack a smile too, playfully jabbing you with his elbow.

“Hey—stop, it wasn't that funny. You’re laughing at my pain now.”

“I’m laughing because I went through the same thing, idiot. What is wrong with those agents?”

Finding out you both shared a similar experience is a pleasant surprise for him, relieved that for once he can just complain without someone trying to one-up him. You’re far too tired to even keep up that hatred anyway— you’d much rather giggle at your shortcomings even though you two almost got physical.

Grabbing your duvet again and some more cookies, you relax into the couch properly now, both propped up at each end. It’s not the longest couch, so your legs brush occasionally as you sit and face each other, nibbling at snacks while you still snicker at his stories.

“I shot practically two of those damn monsters dead without hesitation, like the agency always taught us. You know what those stuck-up agents told me? I should’ve checked if they were humans first. Those things were practically growling at me!”

You laugh once more as a frustrated expression comes over his face, making your own light up as you prepare to tell him how bad your day went.“Trust me, I've been through it too. They practically ignored me for half the morning and then scolded me for scouting ahead! Not to mention, one of the girls had a serious crush on one of the guys, and she would glare at me every time I asked him for the latest intel.”

Leon’s eyes light up in disbelief, lips curving up in mirth. “No way—they actually have crushes in their own teams? I thought that was like, against every protocol.”

“That's what i thought too,” You nod your head in agreement before taking a bite out of another cookie. “It was so obvious; I was convinced they were trying to test me or something.”

“Damn, and I thought the girl throwing up over a bit of bioweapon blood was bad.”

“She threw up over blood?!”

You feel a weight off your chest as you finally rant about your day to someone else, feeling better knowing it hadn't been your fault. In truth, you were so pent up by their constant attitude towards you that you had started to wonder if you were the problem in the taskforce. Though now you have the reassurance you never thought you needed to relax. The same goes for him, his shoulders relaxing with every word as he settles into the couch. Once you both agree that in conclusion, the opportunity was a waste of time, you shake hands on it, promising you’ll never be as bad as they were. That's hardly a thought now though, already brushing up against each other like teenagers in a sleepover while you pick an action movie.

“I want to watch the new Fast and Furious.”

“Oh, come on, you know they get worse with every new one. Give me that,”

He grabs the remote control, unable to control a smirk at your shocked face, before switching genres in search of something else. “See, this is quality content.”

“Leon—you want to watch a documentary. On war. I’ve already had enough of that!”

“But the action is so much better than your one!”

It takes the pair of you a full fifteen minutes before Netflix breaks and you’re forced to watch a David Attenborough documentary on animals in tropical islands. There's a slight pout on both of your faces having been forced to watch something so.. slow after wanting to watch action and excitement.

That's when you start snickering at a funny-looking stick insect; you point at it and then look towards him.

“Hey, it kind of looks like you-“

He shoves a cookie into your mouth, causing you to splutter before quickly chewing down on it before you choke.

“What was that? Were you saying that’s your twin?”

He points to another strange-looking animal, making sure to pick the worst possible to annoy you. This creates another back and forth until the channel finally changes the film, playing a somewhat decent action movie.

“Hey..” You begin to murmur, your head drooping onto your palm as the night grows deeper.

“Mhm?”

“Y’know.. one of the girls in my team mentioned she won't be here for the rest of the time. So if you wanna.. I don't know..”

“Join your team?”

“..Yeah. If you want.”

Rubbing the bags beneath your eyes does little to soothe you as your head finally starts to sink into the soft cushions and you have to shift your position a little to see him.

“Why? You can’t survive on your own without a little friend with you?”

He watches you get sleepier and sits up, shuffling over to you; there's no way he’s going to let you fall asleep without getting under your skin just a little bit more. The mocking tone makes you tilt your head up to look at him, seeing him awfully closer but you’re too preoccupied with his insult.

“Hey- i can survive perfectly fine! It's you who was complaining; I’m being a good samaritan-“ A frown has already formed on your lip, along with nudging him with your foot, trying to get him to stop.

“Alright, alright, I get the point; stop kicking me.” He picks up one of the pens across the coffee table, playfully poking against the fluffy socks you wear and thus causing you to retract from the ticklish feeling. “I’ll come, okay? I’ll ask to switch teams, but there's one condition.”

“Which is?”

“The night we have to camp outside, we have to share a tent. There's no way I'm risking sleeping beside someone who snores or just stinks. At least I know you’re none of those things, even if you are annoying all of the time.”

You snicker at the thought of him tossing and turning endlessly, your mind returning to a year prior. Leon could never get to sleep during the extensive training with all the other recruits, that much had been clear from the dark circles under his eyes every morning. Still, you didn't provide him any mercy and continued to snicker when he fell asleep mid lunch break. So, as any sleep deprived and grumpy rival would do: he decided to ruin your sleep. He had carefully stepped into your tent that night, eyes heavy but with a determination full of vengeance, and snuck over to your mattress. Tugging at your hair, creaking the mattress, pulling the blanket off, blowing on your face—every single thing he had tried failed to wake you from your slumber. You were such an incredibly deep sleeper, lying on your side with your legs in some random position and one cheek squished onto your hand, that you absolutely refused to wake. He hadn’t slept normally for four days, and so his frustration pushed him to fall asleep right there on your mattress, absolutely exhausted. The surprise on your face when you woke was incomparable, and unfortunately all it took was the shuffle of you sitting up to wake him once more.

“Yeah, alright, deal, but I still can't believe I'm the only one you can sleep beside.”

“It’s not like that—I can sleep by myself, you’re just quiet; it’s like you’re not even there.” He scoffs quickly, nudging you to move up, which you do very reluctantly, bringing your knees to your chest and sitting up. This couch is far too small for two, but he doesn’t care; he’s already moving forward. With a few more shuffles, he’s sitting beside you, both of your backs against the armrest—closer than you had been that night.

“Did the tea actually burn you?”

He asks before you can even question his motives, his fingers trailing your sleeves as he moves them up your shoulder to get a better look. The red mark on your upper arm is noticeable even with as far as you pulled your sleeves down to cover it. His calloused fingertips are rough as they trail the sensitive skin, his eyebrows beginning to knit together in worry.

“Sorry, I shouldn’t have been such a prick to surprise you and cause you to drop your tea like that.”

He murmurs, feeling a swell of guilt in his gut as his eyes flitter up to meet yours sheepishly— something you’d never expect to see a year ago.

“Thanks, but it’s okay, I don't think it’ll leave a scar. The kettle barely made the tea that hot.”

He lets out a small hum and then pulls the duvets over you a little bit more, looking down at you as you fiddle with your sleeve again.

“You think it’s always going to be this bad? You know, the missions? They treat us like we’re literally nothing to them; this isn’t what I signed up for.” You suddenly blurt out, revealing what has been weighing heavy on your chest for weeks now. It’s not like you could talk to many of the rookies, and training sessions were already tough enough; you didn't exactly need your superior breathing down your neck for simply being unhappy. “Nah,” He shakes his head and playfully puts a hand onto your head to ruffle your hair—messing up all the carefully brushed locks into what now resembles a bird's nest.

“I’ve seen the top ranking agents; none of them are that incompetent. We just gotta prove that we’re capable of being like them too by pushing through this.” His words are oddly comforting considering they’re usually targeted against every aspect of your being, but you’re not going to call him out on that. You blink tiredly and hum in agreement, nodding your head slowly with each of your words. “I guess. When you join my team, we might even overshadow the others.” You chuckle a little, imagining those incompetent people dropping their jaws. They were pretty lazy, to be fair; all you two had to do was stay alert, and that would be enough. He can't help but chuckle himself and follows you as you begin to sink down into the couch, your legs stretching out to touch the other end.

“Don't get ahead of yourself, I'll overshadow all of you singlehandedly; I don't need your help.” He remarks, a cocky glint in his eyes as he pats your shoulder like one would do to a small kid. That only makes you roll your eyes, settling onto your back as you grumble to yourself before spitting out the most childish remark you can.

“Go away, you’re so annoying.”

“I can’t; the air conditioning is broken outside my room, and it’s being much louder than usual.” He mumbles as he pulls his duvet up to his neck; his shoulders bump against yours when he shifts onto his side, cheek pressing into the pillow.

“That's why I'm here, dimwit.” Despite the insult, he can't quite find the cold tone that usually accompanies it—lost in exhaustion and the need to just relax for once in his hectic schedule.

“Are you trying to kick me off the couch? There's barely any space, you know.”

He lets out a small grunt, not saying a word as he shifts his legs to get more comfortable— ignoring the way he can see you fighting to keep your left leg on the couch. “Don't care what you do. You’re just a nuisance.”

“Yeah, because everyone cuddles up to a nuisance, don't they?” You roll your eyes and reluctantly shift onto your side so you won't fall, feeling his warmth disappear from your shoulder as you turn. “What if our supervisor comes by in the morning?”

“He won't—he’s lazy”. He grunts, one eye opening to glare at you in an annoyance that clearly says ‘Be quiet.’ He shuts his eyes again, his nose nudging you slightly. “Go turn off the light.”

“Alright, fine.”

Soon enough, just your memory of the layout of this room serves as your guide as your padded footsteps take you back underneath the covers. Getting comfortable is slightly harder when he is much taller and more muscular than you are, and even more so when he presses his nose into your shoulder properly now, cheeks squishing against your shirt. You’re practically almost off the couch, and you can guarantee you’ll be on the floor by morning, but you’re not really bothered at all today.

Then, as you whisper a soft “Night,” you realise he had fallen asleep first for once.

[iouinotes]

Heroic love (part 4) | Luke Castellan

pairing: Luke Castellan x female!reader

show: Percy Jackson and the Olympians

warnings: betrayal, dark romance, no verbal consent, angst, smut MINORS DONT INTERACTE

summary: Luke finds out your plan and you give in. After all, it is better to be with him than with the monsters that suround you.

authors note: The reader joins Luke rather unwillingly, even though she still loves him. I just want to say up front that Luke's threat at the end is not meant serious. He would never do something like that to her. He only does it so that she realizes that there is no other way than to join him. If it's too dark, I'm sorry... @qwertydddddddddd wanted to be tagged, so I hope you enjoy it <33

Sometimes you think to yourself, this is real love. I'm gonna marry this person. I will spend my life with them, building a home and a family.

Well thats the regular scenario, I mean for the people who are regular. Not demigods.

And you see, even though we dont have an easy life, fighting monsters, losing friends, being scared and anxious all the time, that some bad evil guy suddenly wants to rule the world- we live. Because we have to and because we have each other.

So, for me, I was prepared for it to become harsh. I always knew my life would be like sitting on a rollercoaster, never having the chance to exit.

But I found comfort in this reality. I would imagine being on this attraction, but holding onto something that grounds me. Someone that gives me strengh, so I don't lose myself.

For a long time, I held hands with Luke.

Then of course, something did go terrible wrong, as if they goddess Aphrodite wanted to watch an exciting, action packed romance movie, with the plot twist of I-hate-to-love-you-because-you-left-me trope. Something like this.

Well, I think the movie sucks. In the last months, everything was just not right- Luke leaving camp to join Kronos? Betraying everyone and kidnapping me? Showing up here, messing with me and then holding my own dagger to my throat? (Deja vu)

No, that just isnt what I Imagined to happen in the future. I didnt want my boyfriend to turn into the bad guy, who we swore to fight.

But now I guess, thats up to me. At least some part of it.

"I think Luke ist turning into Darth Vader." Sometimes I'm not sure whats going on in Percys head.

"I never heard of this monster?" Annabeths parents are so wrong for not watching Star Wars with her.

"Guys, after we discussed this, you can have your movie night. But please, let's focus." My voice sounds harsher than I intended, so I immediately feel bad about it.

"Sorry, it's just very complicated. I want to know what our next steps are, what we are planning to do with this- situation." I don't know how else to call it.

"We need information. Who is the spy? What are Kronos plans? Where will he attack? Who joined him? So many unanwered questions." Chirons voice sends a shiver down my neck. He's right, but how do we achieve it?

Percys gaze unnerves me and when I turn my head to meet his eyes, he immediately shakes his head.

"I am not letting you alone with him this time. Nope." I sign, conflicted how I would want to deal with this.

All eyes are on me and when I turn to them, I try to explain my plan. But I cant even finish my second sentence and already everyone seems to be against it.

"We cant let him out!"

"He will kill us!"

"His army is already searching for him, he would escape!"

Annabeth raises her hand and the voices calm down. As she looks at me, I sense her own doubts about the situation.

"They are right. How do you know he would trust you? Could you convince him?"

I nod my head, ignoring my doubts.

"I can."

⚔️⚔️⚔️⚔️⚔️

The moon shines beautifully in the sky, but it helps nothing to calm down my nerves. Im so stupid, why did I thought I could pull this off?

"Youre sure, you want to do this? You dont have to." Percy's standing next me, as always trying to comfort me.

"He will believe me. I always had dreams, where I thought he-" I need a moment to finish my sentence.

"-died. That he got hurt or is in pain. When I had this sort of dream, I would always sneak out of my cabin and came to him. I would walk into his cabin and he somehow always knew what happend. He would tuck me in his bed, letting me cry and cuddling me. Resurring me that everything is going to be okay, that he will live. That was always my biggest fear, that he would die and I would be helpless to do anything against it. He knows that."

We stand in silence for a moment.

"If you need me, I will be there. Just be careful." I smile at him.

I take a deep breath and go trough the doors, seeing that the only light he has, is a small lamp on the ceiling. I quicken my pace so he can hear me coming. When I stand in front of his cell, he is already on his feet. He looks alarmed.

"What-" his t-shirt is wrinkled and his eyes are sleepy. My breath catches and I don't even have to pretend to be confused and afraid, standing in front of him alone in the dark is enough.

The bars are the only thing that separates us.

At first I don't say anything, I just look at him with watery eyes. And just like I said, he knows it. He always knows.

"Another nightmare?" His voice is so gentle, it makes me remember the old days when everything was good. When he took me in his arms and wiped the tears from my cheeks.

I just nod, I don't think my voice is stable enough yet.

I have to play the role, I can do it. He has to believe me.

I slide down the wall and put my head in my hands, all the despair and pain I've been carrying for weeks suddenly coming out of me. I'm crying so hard that I'm almost afraid of waking up the others.

"Shit, princess- what can I do? Let me help, please." He sounds so desperate and it's only now that I realize, that I don't actually have to act. Because my tears are real.

"Y-you ruined everything! And I'm still s-so scared that something h-happens to you" I meet his gaze and see the remorse in his eyes. His heart hurts too.

"I didn't want something like that to happen- please, darling. Come here." Sniffling, I stand up. My knees feeling weak and unsteady. If I go in there now, I won't be able to defend myself properly.

“You hurt me, I shouldn’t even be here. You're an idiot, Luke. I hate-" but I can't bring myself to say it. I cant say that I hate him. Because I don't, at least not yet.

"I know, believe me. I hate myself too. Only your belief in me has always held me together." He grips the bars, I see the inner conflict within him.

"But you won't change. You've never been able to do that well." I know I'm right and he knows it too. Silence surrounds us.

"Let me hold you. Just for- a few minutes. Please. I can't stand seeing you like this. You've always been the sunshine in my life. I don't want my sun to be obscured."

The key jingles in my hand and I look at it uncertainly.

"I won't hurt you, never again, I promise. I also got an anklet. I can't escape." His eyes look so honest. I'm feeling nervous, my heart is beating way too fast.

I put the key in the lock and open the door, freezing in my movements for a moment. What am I doing here? But then I hear his voice and I know why.

“It’s not that comfortable on the floor, but you can sit on my lap." I close the door.

As I move towards him I see how thin he has become and how brown his eyes still are.

Slowly, he raises his hands and when I stand in front of him he puts them around my waist. My knees buckle and I sink carefully onto his lap. My hands rest uncertainly on his shoulders, then moving down to his neck. Playing with the strands of his hair, lost in thoughts.

His face is right in front of mine, both of our breaths are uneven. His hands linger on me, holding me tight to him. Warmth fills my chest as I look into his eyes.

"You're so beautiful. So, so beautiful." A sob tries to escape me, as I do something, I always loved. I put my head in the crook of his neck and wrap my arms around him.

He holds me for a few minutes, stroking my back and whispering soothing, sweet nothings in my ear.

Once I've calmed down, I'm basically lying on top of him and can hear his heartbeat. It's almost soporific.

"Luke?" my voice is calm.

His head turns to me. "Yes?"

"I...I want to be with you. I don't care how or- or where. I just know that I can't live without you." I see his eyebrows furrow.

"You dont mean-" I am silent. Just looking at him, sitting up a little, straddling him.

"I need you. I tried not to need you. But it's out of my control, nothing helps to ease the pain. Only you, only you matter."

Is it the truth if the words escape me so easily?

His hand finds my cheek and I lean into his touch.

"We're the only ones that matter. We will get through this, together and united. You don't have to fight my darling, you just have to be by my side." His hand around my waist pulls me towards him, the other one, he continues to lay on my cheek. Caressing the skin, drawing invisible heart-shapes.

Then his lips meet mine and my eyes flutter shut. The kiss so intoxicating, that I forget for a moment my real intention. Forget why I'm participating in this madness.

As he pulls away from me, I hear his whispering voice.

"You won't betray me, right? You won't do that to me?" He tugs on my hair, ever so slightly, to get my attention.

"No, Luke. I won't." Lie.

The key in my hand is no longer idle as I remove his shackles carefully.

"Then princess, let's get out of here." I slowly get off his lap, but before I stand up, he lifts me up in his arms.

"I promise you that I will never hurt you again. You deserve only the best." As cliche as it is, he carries me out of the cell, which isnt locked anymore.

He lets me down outside and breathes in the fresh air. It's still night, maybe 4 a.m. Everything is quiet.

His hands cup my face and place several kisses on my skin.

"You are incredible, I knew you would join me. For real this time." He takes my hand and intertwines our fingers. I don't see Percy anywhere.

"Let's go. I know where my troops are stationed. Nobody will notice that we're gone until it's too late."

⚔️⚔️⚔️⚔️

Joining Kronos' army was the hardest thing I've ever had to do in my life, and that includes keeping the truth from Luke.

That I'm a spy for the camp, better hidden than anyone else ever could. No one would accuse or suspect the leader's girlfriend, because everyone can see how much I love him.

After all, it's the only reason I'm tolerated here. Because Luke would kill anyone who even came near me. He has already done it to a dragon lady who was too pushy and even when I tried to stop him, he showed no mercy.

Because he can't afford to do that, if he shows that he has a heart, it will be taken away from him.

Every day it is torture to witness this evil, to help maintain cover, to save my friends.

And every day I feel worse, because I lie to Luke. But it is the only way. I cannot help in the camp, if my heart is somewhere else. Here, with him, my thoughts are not always here, but my heart is.

At least it's enough for me to function. When Luke isn't distracting me.

When I wake up that morning on the Princess Andromeda, it is still quiet. In the presence of these monsters, I have not been able to sleep well for months. Even the dreams I have, make me wake up in the middle of the night and the only thing that calms me down is Luke's touch.

His fingers gently stroke my exposed skin, and as I turn my head and look at him, I see an emotion in his eyes, I've only recently noticed. There is a desire in his gaze, as if he wanted to consume my entire being, to have me just for himself.

My voice, my body, my thoughts, my feelings. Simply everything. He wants it all to be his.

"I wish I could erase every bad dream you have and send whoever is responsible for it to burn in hell. It should scare me that you make me think like that, but if I'm honest, it doesn't. Are you scared?" His eyes look into mine.

Slowly, my fingers intertwine with his. "Not when you're with me."

The next thing I notice is his lips on mine. The way his hands grip my hips and pull me onto him.

He leans towards me, his lips caress my ears and I hear his whispering voice. "Every day I hear one my followers talking about you. That they want to have you, to decorate your beautiful body with scars, with their initials." I freeze at his words, wanting to pull away and look at him, but he holds me tight. Makes me continue to listen to his voice.

"They want to see you bleed, to alternate between pain and pleasure when they push their cocks into you. Do you like that? That you are so desired? That you turn everyone's heads, when you go by and they start wanting to see my head roll? To get close to you, huh?" I want to shake my own head, but he holds me even tighter.

"Do you know how hard it is not to execute every single one of them? Do you know that? I would, if I could. I would kill every single one of them, in front of you, so that everyone knows that you belong to me. Do you understand? No one will speak to you anymore, because your voice is mine. No one will look at you, because your sight is mine. You keep your hands to yourself, no more help with injuries, I don't care if they die. Your hands only touch me."

As I start to sqirm, he leans back, keeping his hands on my hips until a finger strokes my cheek.

"No one will ever kiss you except me. And anyone who even thinks about fucking you, I will let die in battle. You may think my loyalty is to Kronos, but it is to you. My beautiful girl. Now think carefully about who you are pledging your loyalty to."

When his eyes look into mine, I fall silent. Then, even though I try not to, my voice trembles.

"What do you mean? I'm loyal to you, Luke."

His hands caress my skin, examining how the sun shines on me. I'm only wearing one of his T-shirts and my panties. His hands, stroke my bare thighs.

His eyebrows rise, slowly his fingers wrap around my panties, pulling them down until I am revealed to him. My heart is pounding so loudly in my chest, that it feels like it's about to give up. I hold my breath as he places the tip of his cock at my entrance.

What am I doing here?

"I think you're not being completely honest with me, princess. Let's try again. Who are you loyal to?" As he slowly enters me and his hands hold my hips, I moan. I lay my head back for a moment and enjoy the stretch, feeling his hands slide under my shirt and stroke over my stomach, to my breasts and to my neck.

"Luke, what's going on? I'm here with you, I'm-" But I can't finish my sentence as he plunges into me with a violent jerk, right up to the edge. My eyes roll back.

"These sweet lies that come from your lips. Of course you are here physically, but with the mind? Oh no, while I fuck you, your thoughts are on Camp Halfblood. On Jackson. Can you believe it?" His hands push my hips down until I am connected directly to him and can feel every inch inside me. I almost melt as one of his hands presses into my lower back and I move even closer to him.

When I try to answer him, my voice is a mixture of horror and pleasure. "Luke, that's not true. I only want you, I'm on your side- ahh-" Faster than I can react, he thrusts into me. Once, twice. So hard and ruthless that he hits the spot inside me, that makes me see stars. I can't concentrate.

"How I wish you would tell the truth. There's nothing to be ashamed of, sweetheart. Admit it, I already know. My girlfriend is the traitor. Behind my back, she talks to the person I hate the most and yet, she sits on my lap and rides my cock. What would Percy say about that?"

His hand wraps around my neck and holds me tight, his hips keep pounding into me and even though my brain tells me to stop, my guard is down. I want this.

"How-" But when I want to ask, he pushes me onto him again. So fast, too hard, it almost hurts, but it also feels so good.

"I have my eyes everywhere. It took me a while to figure out how to deal with it, how to deal with you. But I found a good solution. After all, Percy lets you be here, without cover, without protection. Hoping I wouldn't find out that you were passing on information. That I wouldn't hurt you."

His last sentence makes me tense up, but even though his face twists in amusement for a brief moment, he doesn't stop talking.

"Your pussy won't save you either. And since I have given you my word, I will not harm you. I found a better punishment. A choice."

He suddenly stops moving and I almost cry, wanting to move myself, but he takes my face in his hand, tightly. Focusing all attention on him.

"Either you stop your underhanded loyalty to Jackson immediately and serve me, or I will make the wishes of everyone behind this door come true and you will be used like a beautiful, little doll. From each one of them, I assure you. But after that, you won't be so beautiful anymore."

Tears well up my eyes, whether it's from the tight grip he's holding on me or from his words, I can't tell. And I'm scared, it feels like I'm being buried alive. With no prospect of ever being able to breathe or be free again.

Without me saying anything, he starts moving inside me again, letting my hips sink onto his. I breathe in loudly.

"Come on, move. Your choice. It's either my cock or anyone else's."

When I look at him, the person I once loved has disappeared. It's like looking at a stranger.

My heart feels like it's been stolen and in the back of my mind I realize, that I should have never gone with him.

But then I close my eyes, put my hands on his shoulders for support and sink down onto him. Again and again, even stronger. Until my thighs shake and tears run down my cheeks. Until I hear Luke's quiet voice again.

"If you think you are strong enough to be like me, treacherous, cold-hearted and ruthless, then I have to disappoint you. Your heart will be soft forever unless the world hardens it. I will protect you for that, princess. Forget camp halfblood, you only serve me now."

His lips are hot on my skin, a strong contrast to my heart, which feels like it's made of ice.

And when I receive the next secret sign from Annabeth a few days later, I ignore it.

[pumpkinsy0]

headcanons for what purly get up to in like casual day to day life? (they drive me crazy they’re like the rats in the walls of my brain)

reaaaaaallllll

•ok all bs aside, i think they do dumb things daily, but its on a scale, yknow??? the crazy things i say they do def do happen but not AS often as it seems!!!

•they like, never 100% know where the other is, they have an IDEA, but they just ask around till they find each other,,,like two rat lovers in a maze,,,the prize isnt the cheese,,,but its finding the other, THATS,,,the real exit,,

•id like to think that curly brings pony along to help him fuck w his #enemies!! DOES pony wanna b apart of the beef??? not not rlly, but as long as it doesnt involve straight up jumping them, pony’ll go, ponys loyal but not “im not gonna help u jump someone idk” kinda loyal

•on a similar note, dare i say sometimes curly also takes pony along to do some of tims work w him, they arent THAT dangerous otherwise tim wouldnt let curly do it, plus all pony rlly does is stay in the car, curly likes it that way bc 1) makes him look more cool and mysterious 2) keeps pony safe

•they argue all the time, its just not BAD arguments, i mean yea they tend to tell but thats bc they dont have inside voices. if ur hanging out w them, expect to b a thirdwheel until they ask u to pick a side

•a solid amount of ponys clothes is thrifted, when darry gives pony money to go and get clothes, curly tags along and treats it like theyre gonna go on a honeymoon, “u would look great in this😏😏”, and the shirt would break if pony even attempted to try it on, he needs the clothes to LAST

•shhhh dont tell anyone i told u but they try to sneak into bucks place sometimes shhhhhh, but it never works so they just hang out at an arcade, particularly the pinball machine

•if u r a store owner and these two walk in, do urself a favor and accept that today u lost more money than u gained, 60s version of bonnie and clyde over here

•loveee carving their initials anywhere they can, they claim their territory bc they think theyre sm better than all the other couples in tulsa (they r but whatever🙄)

•ponybknows curly doesnt have much food at home so when its ponys turn to cook at his place, he asks if curly wants to come over, and chances r curly will agree. not bc hes hungry, but bc he wants to see his MALEWIFE in action

•ok look if curlys hair is in braids or whatever, pony helps him take it out, this is a good and bad thing bc sometimes curlys hair tangles up either bc he didnt take proper care of his braids while it WAS in braids or bc pony somehow messed up while talking them out

•they talk about the future wayyyy more than ppl would think!! while curlys wayyy more of a “im in the present im gonna live it up” baby, he thinks about what he wants to do NOW in order to b tougher and fiercer in the future, and i dont need to talk about pony and the future now, BUT MY POINT IS, they have their down times where they share their hopes!!

[skreebs]

Happy “Tetchou got 2-3 seconds of screen time” day!!

Anyway Jouno has ADHD and heres a longass rant on why I think that

(Obviously this is a headcanon but hear me out!!!!!)

Almost every time we see Jouno he is always doing something with his hands wether this be gesturing, holding something, or fidgeting with an object (example: when he was peeling a pear in Kunikida’s cell thing) and in the same scene we also see Jouno apparently unable to sit still in his seat in the manga due to him repeatedly crossing and uncrossing his legs in his chair

Another reason I think this is because of possible time blindness. When we first see Jouno show up to the Hunting Dogs group thing where they smash into the ground, Fukuchi comments on Jouno arriving before him. This is because he had to go arrest Dazai so obviously he’s “here” in Yokohama early, but also this kind of makes me think he was just standing there waiting for a while. I’m likely reading too deep into it, but Fukuchi probably wouldn’t say that Jouno had gotten here before him when he knew that’d clearly be the case. In my mind it reads as Jouno arrived at the meeting spot early. How Fukuchi would know this? No clue! But also he’s Fukuchi so he probably knows everything.

(I hate tumblr formatting)

Another reason I have would be RSD (Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria)

This one is definitely reaching a little bit but bare with me.

I think Jouno experiences RSD, not in the way of “oh I hate myself I messed up on something” but instead in the way of “shut the fuck up you dont know what youre talking about dont criticize me.” Which is honestly how I experience it sometimes as well LMAO but he does seem very focused on the fact of personally being the best Hunting Dog and appears to take quite a bit of offense whenever Tetchou reprimands him for his behaviour.

Last reason I can squeeze out before my brain turns into goo is overstimulation. Jouno is known very heavily for his heightened senses and people with ADHD are very prone to overstimulation. It would make a lot of sense for something like this to happen to Jouno. Obviously he wouldn’t be able to openly show this at work or have a breakdown at work (if he did he would likely go to a secluded area to calm down) but its very likely that he’s experienced many overstimulated breakdowns or shut downs during his life once his senses became so insane.

I could go on about this for hours but now I have to tag all of this and pass the hell out. Unsurprisingly my own time blindness has gotten the better of me (I started this at 2 am and it is currently 5 am)

DO I EVEN NEED THIS MANY TAGS IDK HOW THIS WORKS

[prettyoddfever]

sorry oh my god why is every damn theory this fandom has FAKE

was just looking through the cape town tag on your blog, im assuming considering you said that they seemed to know on the cape town show that it was their last time together that you dont think cape town theory is real either

i didnt necessarily think that it was omg brendon and ryan broke up!!!! the night in cape town, i assumed it was an argument about the direction of the band, maybe something gay but more likely about the band, but if they already knew it was the last time then obviously that would also be disproven

just my god who is making all this shit up, like i didnt exactly believe they were having gay sex in seattle or cape town but i thought maybe there was a drop of truth in some of these

but yes sorry for having a breakdown in your inbox, but thank you for shining a bit of light on the truth

I think if people have any need to create or spread "theories," then that's just a red flag that they don't know much about the topic they're talking about. There is zero need for that kind of speculation and I have no idea how the fandom got to this point. It's just plain weird.

If someone's perception of pre-split P!ATD is rooted mostly in fake stories (like this total mess or this one), then it's understandable that they'd feel like events don’t line up or like there’s some confusion. That doesn’t mean that there’s a mystery to solve or that important info is being withheld. It only means that those people are too deep into an alternate reality.

The band's actual history might not be as exciting as the dramatic plot arcs or "mysteries" that people have invented over the years, but at least it's real. And I do feel genuinely bad for the current newer fans who are like "hey this band seems cool, let me look into them" and then have to wade through such widespread nonsense (like the ridiculous Cape Town story).

[cooperscringezone]

haii and welcome to the cringe zone !! heh (insert that smug ass tiktok emoji)

im cooper and ive decided to (mostly) make my tumblr about my ocs! below you'll find more info about me and all of my super cool and awesome creations

as you already know, im cooper! if you're tryna find me... well, anywhere, i likely go by cooperscringezone on any platform. speaking of other platforms, heres my toyhouse!! i try to keep it updated, and you can see every oc i have there if you're interested in more than the few I'll frequently post here,,

im super into portal, smg4, the hunger games, ena dream bbq, fallout, minecraft story mode, etc.. i have so many more interests but i think we'd be here all day so. this is all you get for now LMAO

i also have a neat lil tag system!!

cooper.txt = text posts

cooper.ask = ask posts

cooper.art = art posts

cooper.srs = serious posts

there will probably be more later,, theyre pretty straightforward so dont worry too bad GH

now enough about me... its time to introduce my ocs !!!

> KODY 🐵

lets start off strong with a familiar face if you've been to my blog before,, CONNOR!! or.. Kody, now? changed his name, oops. i named my pressure oc Connor and didnt feel like changing it so this stupid little monkey is Kody now ehhe

Kody is an smg4 oc!! he's introduced during lawyer arc and is sort of a little brother to Kong,,

he tried to help Kong and Nintendo against the smg4 crew but ended up joining the crew in the end!! bro hated doing legal stuff and thought they all seemed cool

he doesnt rlly have much lore after that!! other than smg3 is his best friend and Karen is basically his part time mom

his posts will always be tagged with "cooper.kody"

> HALE 🪶

moving on from Kody,, I'd like to introduce Hale!! shes one of my oldest ocs that i have record of and is still being actively used in a rp!! i think shes like? 4 years old now? crazy,, maybe longer ngl

ANNYHOOWWW shes an anti-hero who helped saved the world from some creepy insane eldritch lady so thats fun!! shes also currently being exploited by someone and used as a weapon,, extra fun! later ahes gonna go insane. love that for her 💕

her story is a mess, i cant lie. but ive restarted her rp like once or twice and i love her anyway bc i basically grew up with her and OUGH i just love her

i love slowly making her more complex as i piece together her story,,

i think shes my.fav in this list HEHEHEHE

her posts will always be tagged with "cooper.hale"

ok no more of me gushing over hale you guys will see that plenty enough later

> HAYMITCH 🌵

next up is Haymitch!! hes a fallout oc, his backstory shit primarily involving Cooper Howard (from the show) plus New Vegas plot,, timeline is kinda like not thought over at all during his rp canon so ignore the fact half of his plot could not feasibly work if i put him in an actual game.. BUT IM HAVING FUN so idc. hes a ghoul,, (turned when he was 18) and grew up with cooper howard as his mentor!! after like i think a few decades or so they part ways and Haymitch ends up working in new vegas under the CREEEPPP!! that Checkers is 🥀🥀🥀.. hes another oc of mine but i dont like him enough to give him his own intro. hes a very good gunslinger, often feared over his skills. he mostly works with the regulators after fleeing new vegas and deciding to chill in the Capital,,, he also has this STUPID cowboy getup and i love him for it

his posts will always be tagged with "cooper.haymitch"

enough horsing around (gahahahahha get it cause Haymitch is a cowboy), time for my last oc intro

> JUMBLE 🎭

meet Jumble!! my favorite jester,, hate this thing,, the creature,

Jumble is actually from the same rp as Hale!! they've just never interacted,,

Jumble is a devotee to one of the Gods in the rp, Dimentio, the God of chaos and misfortune!! whom is owned by my good friend toasty..

Jumble is way over the top with its faith and it's determined to spread as much chaos and misfortune as possible!! its lore is not super flushed out yet, as it was only recently introduced, but shhhhshshhsh its still one of my favs

its posts will always be tagged with "cooper.jumble"

OKAY THATS IT thank you for reading if you have !! plsplsPLS ask questions about them so i can be normal about them, ,,

if you do ask anything please specify who its towardss,, or specify if its a question for every character,

I'll also be posting normal ass content not just asks of them,, at some point,, trust

also dont be scared to ask ME questions!! i dont bite i promise

OKAYYY BYEE 💥💥💥💥

[ourflagmeansgayrights]

Hey so idk if you would know this but where did the term canyon in reference to Izzy fans come from? I feel like I just started seeing it like three days ago but everyone seems to already know what it means

lol so disclaimer that this ask has been in my inbox since september 23rd and alsoooo i might not be the best person to ask bc i am belothed by many who consider themselves part of the izzy canyon (which is their right). so if you asked an izzy fan about this you would probably get a different answer. also from what i can tell the term originated on twitter and i don’t go there.

the tl;dr that i heard secondhand from someone who identifies as izzy canyon is that at some point last year (summer or fall-ish i think) a lot of izzy fans were blocking so many people who didn’t like izzy that a lot of them ended up being unaware of general fandom trends and it became a running joke among them that izzy fans were isolated from the rest of the fandom in an "izzy canyon." and then allegedly the term expanded to just mean "if ur not a dick abt ppl liking izzy u can be in the canyon." THAT BEING SAID there are other ppl who had a very different experience with how "the canyon" originated and what kind of fan space it tends to be.

(slightly longer explanation below)

the thing with The Canyon is that to understand its origin and also why some fans have a problem with it, you gotta know two things:

there are annoying puriteen anti types on the internet who think liking certain characters make you a bad person. from what i can tell theyre mostly on twitter and tiktok. these people are annoying but also in my experience they're usually pretty easy to block and ignore.

the popularity of izzy hands is disproportionate to his narrative role in the show, and the popular fanon interpretation of izzy hands casts him not only as a principal character but as a much more sympathetic, righteous character than he is in canon. THIS DOES NOT MEAN I THINK ANYONE IS A BAD PERSON FOR LIKING IZZY. this DOES mean that i think ppl who think ed is izzy's domestic abuser are wrong. and also this is part of an age old fandom trend of fandom favoring a masc white guy who is often a side character and also often an antagonist.

so from what i can tell. in the early days of the ofmd fandom (spring-summer 2022) there was a lot of #1 going around on twitter, screaming about how if you liked izzy hands then you're a racist abuse apologist or something. at one point a throwaway account tweeted a callout for a popular izzy fan and said "we know they live in this area and work for this company, so these are the locations where they might work. everyone should call these numbers and tell their job to fire them. also we're gonna target these izzy fans next" and like, obviously this account was pretty quickly taken down. but it was a pretty scary thing and left a lot of izzy fans pretty paranoid, hence the blocking everyone who didnt like izzy.

(there was also a "izzy hater group chat" twitter account that was literally just a small group of mostly minors posting memes and also abt izzy that got accused of being connected to that whole mess. but afaict those guys have nothing to do with harassment of izzy fans they just dont like izzy)

so the thing is now that all of that has been used to justify shutting down any type of conversation about #2, or writing off anyone who posts meta about izzy that isnt like, "he works so hard and is so unappreciated despite everything he's done for ed" as an "izzy anti." analyzing izzy critically and posting this in the #izzy hands tag on tumblr is likened to genuine harassment.

oh lol and speaking of harrasment: there was also a problem with ppl on tumblr getting anon hate, and izzy fans will tell you that the anon came from an izzy hater who was targeting izzy fans bc the anon messages use "izzy critical rhetoric." however as someone who has posted "izzy critical" metas or whatever, i have actually gotten the same harassing messages accusing me of being an izzy stan and a racist abuse apologist. that's not what a targeted harassment campaign looks like. that's all been less of a problem ever since tumblr made it so you need to be logged in to an account to send anonymous messages.

anyway my stance on all of this:

i don't hate anyone for liking izzy. i am critical of certain comments/behaviors i often see from ppl who identify as izzy fans, but izzy fans are rarely the only ones who have this problem. from what i've seen tho, a lot of it comes from izzy fans.

before i ever saw even a hint of harassment against izzy fans, i saw izzy fans coming onto my posts and to posts by fans of color trying to argue that these posts were contributing to their harassment. from my perspective, it looked a lot like fans of a white character were trying to shut down conversations abt their favorite guy, especially when those conversations were being had by fans of color. i was very skeptical and oftentimes pretty dismissive abt the existence of this harassment.

since then tho ive done a pretty deep dive into the anon harassment on tumblr, and also looked at takes from different perspectives on the whole thing, and my conclusion is that there is harassment of izzy fans, however it is on the same base-level shittiness that most people experience from just... being on the internet. death threats and insults and slurs are literally just part of being on the internet. and yes, it SUCKS and it's wrong and nobody should have to put up with it, but izzy fans are not victims of specific targeted harassment. theyre victims of being on the internet and having to put up with general internet shittiness. and im sympathetic to that up until ppl start using "ive been harassed for being an izzy fan" as an excuse to be incredibly nasty (check out this tumblr acct for examples of what i mean lol). the ofmd fandom is annoying and parts of it are toxic but like, by no means is this the most toxic fandom to ever exist. we're not at "undertale fan giving out cookies with needles in them at a convention" levels just yet.

finally, tangentially related: i am inherently wary of fandom sub-groups that like, name themselves?? in my experience, the more people make being a Type Of Fan part of their identity the more it tends to lead to problems. this goes for fans who label themselves "antis" or "anti-antis" or whatever the fuck. i've personally been called an "izzy anti," an "izzy hater," and an "izzy critical fan" but like, i dont really call myself that?? it just seems weird to me idk. it gets to be very "us vs them" on default with little nuance and ive never found this kind of thing to be like, productive in fandom spaces. but that's just me.

[slimy-vore-bog]

WARNING: groomer in the SFW vore community (serious)

Content/Trigger warning: discussions of grooming, mention of incest, and sexual and fatal vore

I am posting to tags to try to keep people safe!

This specifically occured in the Owl House corner of this community, but everyone should be warned

I will put the rest of the post below keep reading, but for now the person I'm accussing is known as "les-the-mess" on here and "LesTheMessy" on DeviantArt (I do not remember the discord name) and she is 23/24 years of age

And lastly that a real minor has been contacted by said person and made very uncomfortable (url will not be stated for their safety)

Remember to check everything I say for yourself, if you don't believe me; I would not accuse this person publicly if I didn't consider them a real threat All except the minor's statement are available online

I am feeling sick to my stomach that this happened and I don't know how to handle this. I'm going to tell this a bit more like a story so I can get it out easier

I was on DA (DeviantArt) when I saw something odd pop up; a vore edit of Catra and Adora with Luz and Amity as prey. I looked at it, because I am always up to find more sfw safe vore creators, but it was neither safe or non-sexual

There were clearly comments engaging with the art in a sexual way and the creator didn't discourage or delete said comments and the description itself mentioned how the vore was going to end with both prey characters dying.

This person had an identical avatar and near identical username to their URL here on tumblr and I was horrified as I knew that this person had interacted with a minor despite having "minors DNI" and that already gave me a slight prickling suspicion something was wrong (later learned she has even DMed them on discord...)

They had both minors and NSFW in her DNI so I didn't have anything to go after, as they didn't have any post with suspicious stuff here or followed any weird blogs and I brushed it off initially

Her posts on DA however... Very fucking damning: almost all their edits are of minors and adults in vore or of the character The Collector (Which is a child who is also a god; he is immortal, but at the point we last see them is mentally an 8-10 year old)

Now I didn't pick the most damning thing to screenshot, as it was too gross (unbirth incest between Luz the main character, her girlfriend and Luz's mother Camila) but here is one example of one of their posts:

Odalia/nickname Mamadalia is an antagonist of the show and an adult woman

Here is a screenshot of her account on tumblr:

Very lousily taken, but I was too distraught to care

I contacted the minor (who I am already friendly with, since I wanted to support the growth of their blog) as soon as I deemed this person to be a threat and the minor has told me that she has indeed acted weird towards them, but it only clicked now after I shared what I did...

The minors own words when I asked for details:

"I can't remeber what we talked about exactly since I deleted my discord in a panic-

But it was first of with the collector, at first it seemed harmless, but I started getting uncomfortable when it entered into the vore Stuff, like, I dont why but it rubbed me the wrong way but I didnt say anything since it sorta felt…uneasy to say the least, and i feel stupid because i never said anything about it

She also talked a lot about digestion aswell, and when I brought up the no minors thing- she said it was because she managed and 18+ discord server and it was okay for us to talk, and I feel this is extremely important to mention- she reposted your art to me without credit, I cant remeber everything but i hope this is enough"

Now the last thing I will say I don't have much of an opinion on, because of how severe the situation is, but I wanted to include the full message (Split up into paragraphs for easier reading)

I might have forgotten some stuff, but this is all I can think of right now

Please just stay safe, stay away and block/report this person!

[cherry-dr0p]

Drawing characters (my favourites) as cats: Pt. 1

Nosfer-cat-u???? Real??

Note: All of these are my personal headcanons... Gonna write some kitty headcanons under too because I am silly like that and cringe culture is dead :3

1. Kitty (Herr) Knock!

Here is kitty Knock headcanons!

I'd imagine him to be an orange ragdoll cat!! Orange cats are generally known from what I've seen for being peculiar little guys, so I thought that would fit Knock very nicely for being out of the ordinary and silly. I honestly chose the ragdoll because of the fluffy appearance of their fur but reading into it, they can be affectionate and friendly too. And they love belly rubs. Perhaps he is a friendly cat who originally wanted attention and love for people but after being shunned for being abnormal, he gave up.

Ragdolls are intelligent too, whilst orange cats are known for the opposite. I reckon that Knock seems unintelligent with some of the things he does (getting stuck in high places, running into things etc.) But he is actually quite a smart cat in reality.

He's definitely a stray cat who was abandoned at some point on the streets and had to survive on his own until finding Orlok </3 Poor guy

He likes smaller animals, especially rats. The ones cats are meant to kill, Knock does not. He refuses to.

He is quite an old kitty (hence the gray fur parts), but he's still full of life!

He's also extra mischievous. I reckon >:3

Hes very dirty, his furr is matted and he also has fleas because he hasnt been groomed :(

What did this poor cat do to have the whole town after him </3 /j

Kitty (Count) Orlok

Note: For kitty Orlok, I wanted him to have light gray skin but it was too late when I realised the gray was way darker than I wanted it to be :( I have new pens coming in a few days so I can redo Orlok

But anyways, kitty Orlok headcanons;

But yeah, I think Orlok to be a Sphynx cat. Ive heard others talk about how unappealing and somewhat creepy Sphynx cats look (honestly, how dare they >:[) and I think it's sorta the way a supernatural vampire like a creature would be viewed. Despite all this, Sphynx cats for their loyal and intelligent, which I imagine could be overlooked when seeing kitty Orlok. (You can probably guess who he's loyal to)

I also intentionally made him extra spooky looking too. He has lifeless white eyes and sharp claws, with lots of wrinkles and a tall, lanky stature to catch the creepy aura. I also imagine he can make himself look taller willingly in order to look extra terrifying when he needs or wants to be feared.

Kinda messed it up a little too but dark purple collar. I didnt know what to put for the little tag so diamond shape because hes extra fancy like that.

Hes always been a stray cat, getting used to being alone since he was a mere kitten. He doesn't really get visitors often so imagine his surprise when a peculiar occurance is present and a specific orange cat finds and befriends him.

Despite Sphynx cats having an affectionate nature, Orlok isn't really the most affectionate cat at all. He can be quite violent, which pulls most people away in itself.

Kitty Ellen (Hutter)!

Last but not least, Kitty Ellen headcanons!

I honestly dont know why I chose the Scottish fold. Just saw some photos and for some reason went "Fuck yeah, Ellen!!"

Unlike the other two, Id imagine Ellen to actually have a pet owner who possibly has both Thomas and Ellen living in the house.

No doubt she'd be spoiled to death, with a fancy pretty collar and a fancy little tag to go with it.

She likes watching birds outside the window because I said so >:]

Even though she has the chance to go outside like Id imagine Thomas to do, Ellen actually feels more comfortable just lounging around in the house and just doing cat things. Sure she will explore outside sometimes but she doesn't bother with it too much.

Shes a friendly affectionate cat who likes attention sometimes.

Yeah I dont have as many headcanons for Ellen as I do the other two surprising

And that's all I have for my Nosferatu cat AU. This is so dumb but I love it and it gave me the excuse to practice drawing different types of kitties! Im not sure for this how accurate everything is but Aaahhh

[luxxlunaae]

new ocverse just dropped. read more cuz its not At All coherent. also very. very long. its just fake tumblr posts sorry

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⛔ redscapesmybeloved Follow

sooo was anyone gonna tell me, #1 redscapes fan, that hes literally doing a face reveal later tonight. like hello?? the number one thing he DOESNT do??? hes been telling us (fellow redscapers) that he literally will never show his face?? idk just. seems sketchy. literally last week he said he would never, and now he is?

💋 redmeansily Follow

WHAT where are you hearing this oli?? oliredscapesmybeloved please answer. redscapes is dping WHAT

⛔ redscapesmybeloved Follow

I KNOWWW. its so weird!! this entire situation is so ooc for him. heres the link to the article btw: [link]

💋 redmeansily Follow

literally just read that entire article. def an impersonator trying to get some fame. but its so odd cuz like. an online influencer, i get. but a motorcyclist??? a famous motorcyclist whos claim to fame is literally the One Move no one else can do?? (or at least very few) like dude,,, be fr right nowww

⛔ redscapesmybeloved Follow

cant believe our boy is being impersonated :( the audacity :((... .... . do you think hell respond to the impersonator??

🍩 doughofnut Follow

What if... Hear me out.. Redscapes changed his mind?

⛔ redscapesmybeloved Follow

insane take tbh

#oli rambles #redscapes

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🐟 bluutrait78 Follow

lmao i bet that redscapes bloke is ugly. god knows he deserves it

#anti redscapes #yes i am a redscapes hater. i will never like him #stfu about redscapes hes not as great as u think he is

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⛔ redscapesmybeloved Follow

looks around. did anyone else see that anti redscapes post. like. tumblrs fucked bcuz putting "anti redscapes" puts it in the redscapes tag. we know this. guards. arrest that man

#oli rambles #redscapes #sorry for putting this in the redscapes tag. i just. yeahg

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🐟 bluutrait78 Follow

WHY THE HELL AM I GETTING RUCK ROLLED IN MY INBOX go to hell. all of you. redscapes is and will always be at BEST a mediocre motorcyclist. "ohhh but he can do this one trick" blah blah blah. you dont even know him. you dont even know his face. but well all find out tonight.

#anti redscapes #idc about the redscapes tag. u complain? good. fuels me even more

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🏍️ redscapesnewsofficial Follow

Hello everybody! Today, we have... a bit of a doozy! Earlier this week, an article and advertisement was put up for Redscapes face reveal! Here's the link: [Link]

However... As we all know, the entire thing turned out to be a lie! :( Yesterday, around 7pm EST, a crowd of around 50 people were gathered near a stage, in which the famous motorcyclist Redscapes would appear. However, as he arrived on stage... There were whispers of him being... different.

That's right, folks! We had an all out imposter among us! (Sorry, couldn't resist! AHEM-) Now, for the Redscapes freaks out there, we all know that Redscaoes is 5'7" (or 170cm), however, the man that stepped up was at the very least 6'0"! Also, waaay too beefy, and not at all like our beloved Redscapes!

Ah, but we should really get to the interesting parts... Ahem! The Redscapes impersonator, now dubbed "Redsonator", or "Wrongscapes", was shown up by the real, in-the-flesh Redscapes! Our inside man who actually showed up has a video and a few photos here: [Link]

Redscapes revved up his engine, then carefully but majestically sauntered over to Wrongscapes. The tension was high, with many confused. It was clear, THIS was our Redscapes! From what I saw in the video, it seemed as though Redscapes challenged Wrongscapes to a race (however, no footage nor photos of the alleged race have surfaced)

All 50 members of the crowd were disappointed at the scam, but many were relieved, as well! Wrongscapes had a cocky aura to him, and I, personally, would've decked him for messing with our beloved Redscapes' reputation.

That's all, folks! Geez, what an exciting day!

- Mod Blue

#redscapes news #redscapes #mod blue

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⛔ redscapesmybeloved Follow

well,, that was anticlimatic lol. im glad red's sticking to him guns, tho, id hate to see him lose himself to peer pressure. the guys only, what? in his early twenties? :(

📱 redscapesgirlfriend57 Follow

Please dont call him "Red". only i get to call him that :/

⛔ redscapesmybeloved Follow

girl what. are you delusional. lirerally everyone calls him "red". would you rather i call him my babygirl ???

📱 redscapesgirlfriend57 Follow

NO. thats so much worse! he is NOT your "baby girl". :/

⛔ redscapesmybeloved Follow

and hes not your boyfriend. he literally told us like, a month ago that he wasbt dating anyone. lmao. get a load of this guy amirite chat

📱 redscapesgirlfriend57 Follow

I WILL MAKE YOUR LIFE HELL!!!

⛔ redscapesmybeloved Follow

yaaaawn. get better threats sweetie your comebacks are lacking.

💋 redmeansily Follow

oli do you need me to kill this guy for you.

⛔ redscapesmybeloved Follow

awww thank you but no <3

📱 redscapesgirlfriend57 Follow

Im a girl!! Red isnt gay!!!

💋 redmeansily Follow

literally who said he was gay. what are we even TALKING about

📱 redscapesgirlfriend57 Follow

GO FUCK URSELF

⛔ redscapesmybeloved Follow

turning off reblogs cuz i forgot that was an option but redscapesgirlfriend57 u need therapy. <3

#oli rambles #most sane redscapes fan /j #but no if anyone actually is delusional enough to think that ur redscapes partner #just. reevaluate. u dont know him dude

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more to come but. yeah :D consider this part 1!! if you read the entire thing lemme know what you thought.... "redscapes" is basically this famous motorcyclist guy and yknow how like. hockey tumblr exists. yeah.

[wildwren]

i love mess. #3, 11, 16, 24, 25?

3. screenshot or description of the worst take you've seen on tumblr

god i wish i could summon specifics from my sad little brain but unfortunately i cannot. ill just say every third take that shows up in the t*d lasso tag after an episode drops gives me deep and lasting psychic damage

11. number of fandom-related words you've filtered

i have 21 filtered tags that are about fandoms or ships. i dont know if thats a lot or not a lot. usually just stuff im not interested in seeing content for, not like specific tropes or triggers

16. you can't understand why so many people like this thing (characterization, trope, headcanon, etc)

okay i answered that here, specifically about super fluffy heteronormative relationship goalsTM characterizations of ships, but i guess i will offer the alternative and say that people who think villain fucking and ETL ships are inherently sO sPiCy when they are just writing the same basic reductive heteronormative bullshit in different clothes are quite funny 2 me.

24. topic that brings up the most rancid discourse

i dont know that its the most rancid (i try to steer clear of most shipping discourse and anything with a whiff of top/bottom debate which seems like it would probably take the cake, especially intersected with fandom racism) but ill say one of the more reductive topics for me is around what characters "deserve." when someone says a character deserved better im like ????? deserved better from the writers? deserved better from the other characters in the story? deserved to not be in a Story? OBVIOUSLY writers treating their characters with racist and misogynistic tropes is a VERY real issue and I'm always interested in discussing and unpacking that, but 9/10 times i see this discourse, its either about a white male character who's like... fine....or about a character whose tragic arc is quite literally the point. misogyny is real but i LOVE a tragic doomed woman and i won't be sorry about it. It’s what I deserve.

25. common fandom complaint that you're sick of hearing

I guess in conjunction with the last response.... that characters shouldn't suffer. that ships shouldn't break up. that people in fiction shouldn't have conflict. that things shouldn't happen in Stories.