#i know that is not something that’s ever actually gonna happen but god that’d be so cool

[bioshocked-astroghost]

Love that the Alien Isolation devs dropped the game into Steam and in the almost 10 YEARS it’s been out never once applied any kind of update lmfao

Like it’s not exactly BROKEN it works just fine with no game-breaking bugs (to my knowledge) but I’m still surprised? Like, nothing at all my guys?

Who knows, maybe they’ll drop something for the 10 year anniversary 👀

[piratefishmama]

Crossing the Line | Part 5

The odds of finding one feral little metalhead in such a large city without any starting point to go off of were slim at best. Okay that was being generous, the odds were basically non-existent as Steve had been telling Robin for the past hour as they wandered the streets seemingly without aim.

“Rob, we should just buy the tickets and see his band! What’s the worst that can happen?”

“We lose our hearing to people who can’t play their instruments properly, you get rejected publicly, someone throws up on us, we wind up in the mosh pit and you get your THIRD concussion, someone spills their drink on me, or on you, you get recognised and publicly ridiculed for wearing a goddamn sweater vest to a metal gig because I saw you pack your bag what in god’s name, Steven.”

“It’s comfortable.” Steve grumbled in response, momentarily subdued by all of her good points “at least it’s monotonal.” It was a grey knit number, one of his softest. “And I was gonna put a black shirt under it.”

“Yep, no, we’re not doing that, you’re not wearing that. If we must go to the gig and I do mean if we must, you’re going to need another outfit, so we’re going to spend today shopping for that, then head back to the apartment and strategize. We can divide and conquer, you take one half of the city, I’ll take the other, we meet in the middle for coffee.”

“…One half of a city. Where even is the middle of it? How is that a plan?”

“Not the best first plan but it’s the planning stage of the plan, and the planning stage is AFTER shopping, so don’t judge the plan until the planning stage of the plan.”

“You said plan a lot.”

“Less talk more thrift shop, let’s go.” His hand grabbed and away they went. It didn’t matter how rich he was, Robin loved thrift shopping, and after meeting her and knocking down her walls of distrust and uncertainty until they became practically joined at the hip platonic soulmates, finding out how many little treasures you could actually find in those shops, he kind of loved it too. It was an experience he wouldn’t have ever gotten without her, an experience that only added to the down to earth personality that’d developed as he grew older with her.

He didn’t know who he’d be without Robin… probably the same douchebag everyone kind of expected him to be. The douchebag he’d been in his teen years perhaps, partying, drinking, doing drugs, trying to be something he wasn’t to impress the people around him when all they cared about was the vestiges of fame trickling from his being.

Perhaps she’d saved his life by just being there. So he’d indulge a little tomfoolery for her sake.

Even if it did wind up with his feet hurting and his arms aching carrying bags of things he’d never ever wear but might have to for true love, trudging down some random street while Robin looked for some weird non-chain coffee shop because Starbucks held no soul.

“Robin can we just— look, right there, Starbucks, we can go in Starbucks, it’ll be fine, in and out!”

“I’m not going in Starfucks, there’s always some idiot instagraming the weird spelling of their name on the cup as if it’s not a Starbucks ploy to get them free advertising.”

“Or someone claiming to be Voldemort as if the barista would actually shout “he who must not be named” for the brief moment of twitter fame reporting it would bring them.”

“Or tacky mass-produced merch.”

“Or overpriced desserts that aren’t worth it.”

“Or—Ooh!! Lookie, there’s one!” They probably could have gone on for longer, but Robin spotted the little brown shop with large dark windows at the end of the street with a hanging sign outside similar to one found on old bars only this one had two coffee beans on it with the word The Roast written in cursive around the beans. And up close it looked like every rustic coffee shop ever made.

Simple, lots of browns and warm white lighting.

“Down the road from a Starbucks? That’s a gutsy business move.” Steve hummed with the most basic amount of interest as he entered through the door Robin held open for him.

“Honestly you’re never more than a stones throw away from a Starbucks, pick any direction I bet we’ll find another within two blocks.”

“That’s fair.” They made it all the way to the counter where a lone, bored employee leaned heavily against the thick wooden countertop, flicking through a magazine of some kind, the board above him strewn with funnily named coffee drinks and little doodles to match them, Steve found his eyes drawn to that while the Barista released a deep

“Welcome to The Roast, what can I get for you?” Without looking up from his magazine.

“Alright, I’ll have a uhm—ow—Robin, what—ow would you stop elbowing me?”

“Steve.”

“What?” He followed her pointer finger to the man now looking at him with the widest, brownest, most beautiful Bambi eyes he’d ever seen in his goddamn life and all thoughts just kind of drifted away, replaced with the single word… pretty. “Oh…Hello...”

Part 7

[explorevenus]

Oh my god but when it’s gonna be time for baby to go to kindergarten and elementary school and stuff I know Leon is gonna have darling go with him to drop their little baby off for the day bc he wants the complete nuclear family fantasy!!!! and he’d love nothing more than to get darling pregnant soon again so he can show to everyone else how hard he’s working on building his perfect little family and he’d go bonkers when darling has a huge bump and is surrounded by all the other kids idk and I’d think he’d even let darling socialise a bit with the other moms bc he wants to see her in that setting of motherhood and stuff maybe exchanging tips on how to care for their kids and other things like recipes and hobbies and at dinner he’d want darling to tell him about her interactions with the other moms bc that’d really sell the “we’re a perfect nuclear family with the dog and white picket fence” oh man I need a moment I’m out of breath actually my mind is RACINGGG that man is insane

okokokokokok first of all YES. TO ALL OF THIS

i mean we already know he's knocking her up again as soon as humanly possible cus he's just too deeply wired with that Insatiable Voracious Breeding Kink but i'm so serious when i say he CANNOT GET ENOUGH of the image of darling pregnant *again* while already holding a baby/toddler on her hip like GET OUT OF TOWNNN HE'S ENAMORED

and yes that def extends to watching her mingle/socialize w other moms bc HELLO?? THAT'S SO CUTE? + he doesn't perceive other moms as a threat to darling so it's not like. something he'd be super paranoid about allowing yk? especially by the time they have more than one kid cus like at that point darling's not going anywhere and he knows it

also PLAYDATES :DDDDD he would probably only ever allow playdates to happen at their house bc he'd be too paranoid to trust other parents w watching his kid (and wife) but still <3

and let's not forget Leon With Dad Friends,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, LIKE BE SO SERIOUSSSS I'M HAVING CHEST PAINS,

sharing a cold beer w the dads while watching the moms play outside w the babies. chuckling about how spoiled their princesses are. i'm gonna frow up

sp!leon + domesticity = venus brain soup <33

[thesememesdonotexist]

【Ｃｈｏｎｎｙ　Ｊａｓｈ　 Ｓｔａｒｔｅｒ　Ｓｅｎｔｅｎｃｅｓ】

💠 "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, but something will eventually." 💠 "No need to fear, 'cause when it's here you won't be alive." 💠 "My heart's empty and I'm trying to fill it up, but it's not big enough for the both of us." 💠 "I'll admit when I'm wrong, but only to be right." 💠 "He can go fucking die." 💠 "Why should he be any different?" 💠 "Is there cheese in the great beyond?" 💠 "I think it saw my face..." 💠 "Say, doesn’t it pain you to know our fate?" 💠 "Your creator’ll leave you disgraced, babe." 💠 "People who suffer hurt people. I'm a wounded man, so what'cha think I'm gonna do to you?" 💠 "Schadenfreude just ain’t as good." 💠 "You've had your time, now the pulpit and mic is mine." 💠 "Litmus tests show that 7 in 15 men are basic." 💠 "I'm always happy to go into tomorrow forsaking today." 💠 "So let's have some fun while we're here. We don't know what'll happen next year." 💠 "That hit piece you call 'The Bible' was written by the world's greatest hater." 💠 "There are plenty like-minded folk here! Perhaps they might entice you more..." 💠 "I may be drunk but I'm not drunk enough to fight the me that's on this stuff." 💠 "There really must be some way to get high and make this feeling go away." 💠 "I am numb and I feel nothing." 💠 "You owe me a sleep rebate... that I know you will not pay." 💠 "It’s been a while, so let me be myself, complete and sincere." 💠 "The one place I’d like to be most is right damn here." 💠 "Why dwell in the past when this life is so vast?" 💠 "And when I die, know that I’m just a product of place and time." 💠 "Do you think doubt will make it hurt less?" 💠 "Existence is transient. There’s still another sunset to be found inside this tangent, so I will try again." 💠 "This world’s hard to shoulder." 💠 "Won’t they just let me writhe inside and let my sides aside so they can realize to let me die; that that’d be fine?" 💠 "So call me sick or crazy if that's what you'd prefer, but that rotten melody is one I've already heard and you can stick that shit where it can't be harmonized." 💠 "IF GOD OR THE DEVIL OR ANY OTHER ALL-POWERFUL COWARDLY BEING HAS A PROBLEM WITH WHO I AM, THEN I IMPLORE THEM TO TAKE THEIR FUCKING SHOT." 💠 "The coward in question? By now, you know him so well. But then, who am I to go and cluck and tell?" 💠 "And the whole damn point of this experimentation was to avoid that homogenization." 💠 "But how am I supposed to love another when I barely know myself?" 💠 "For a man cloaked in daylight, you sure hate the sun." 💠 "But I won’t let you ruin what we could still be." 💠 "And if you think that you can lie to me, then I think you've made a big mistake." 💠 "And here he is: the piece of shit sitting, seething high atop his stolen throne." 💠 "See, I've been in total agony, relentlessly, ever since you came around." 💠 "If not for you or for him then please do it for me." 💠 "Imprisonment was all that he earned." 💠 "I was in control before, and will be once more when you succumb to the cold." 💠 "And what if I told you, you are not the victim, and just this fucking once you actually heard?" 💠 "Time will move forward, onward without you." 💠 "Oh, so what if I told you, no one here is listening? What if I told you, that is for the best?" 💠 "I'm sick, and tired, of holding fire when all I feel is violence." 💠 "All I know will soon turn to dust. And yet you claim my apathy's not just."

[dialovers-translations]

Diabolik Lovers LOST EDEN ー Azusa Dark [07]

ー The scene starts in the Big Hall at Eden

*Tick・tock・tick・tock*

Kou: ...Haah.

Will Azusa-kun be alright? Perhaps we should still go after him after all...?

Yuma: God, we’re not his mom, ya know...

Kou: But we’re his big brothers, aren’t we? Aren’t you worried about him, Yuma-kun?

I bet you’re worried about Azusa-kun as well, aren’t you, M-neko-chan?

Yui: Y-Yeah...

Yuma: But what if he notices that we’ve followed him?

That’d only make the situation even more complicated, no?

Kou: I mean, you do have a point...

Yui: ( I hope he can safely meet up with Ruki-kun... )

( It’ll be fine, right? I’m sure... )

ー The door opens

*Creaaak*

Yui: ...!

ー Somebody approaches them

Yui: Ah, Ruki-kun...!

Kou: Geezー You took forever! ...Wait, huh? Where’s Azusa-kun?

Ruki: Azusa...? What are you talking about?

Yui: Eh!?

Ruki: ...Tell me what’s going on. We can discuss our next step.

Monologue

We told Ruki-kun,

about everything which went down up to this point.

About how the three of us put our heads together yesterday,

and asked Azusa-kun to deliver him something he forgot,

to help boost his confidence. 

As well as how Ruki-kun ended up returning home first,

before even meeting up with Azusa-kun.

Who could have ever predicted,

that this would happen as a result of us doing all of this behind his back.

All we could do,

was lower our heads to Ruki-kun. 

Ruki: ...That is exactly why I told you to leave him be.

Yui: ...I’m so sorry. But I just couldn’t sit still and do nothing while watching him like that...

Ruki: While this is nothing but speculation on my part, seeing as I did not cross paths with Azusa on my way back here, I believe it is possible that he may have wandered off into Vibora territory.

I just hope he hasn’t been discovered and taken captive...

Yui: ...!?

Ruki: The Vampire and Vibora territories lie right next to each other. 

Someone who is well acknowledged with the area like myself can skillfully avoid crossing the border, but Azusa is a whole different story...

Yui: No way...

( So it’s our fault that Azusa-kun might be in danger right now...? )

Kou: ...!

Yuma: Damnit!

ー Kou and Yuma move towards the door

Ruki: Where are you two going?

Yuma: Aah? We’re gonna go save Azusa, duh!

Kou: It’s all our fault. We have to rush to his rescue at once...!

Yui: W-Wait! Me too...!

Ruki: ...You can’t. I won’t let you act without permission.

Yui: B-But! Then Azusa-kun will...

Ruki: We don’t know for sure if he has been caught. I want you to have some faith in Azusa.

The three of you thought very hard to come up with this plan. Don’t you think that you should see how things play out until the end?

Yui: ...

Ruki: If you act now, the whole plan will have been for nothing.

And you will only end up hurting Azusa even more.

Yui: ...Right.

Kou: ...I understand. We’ll listen to you.

Yuma: ...Ugh...

Yui: ( But if Azusa-kun has actually been captured... )

( Azusa-kun. Please be safe... )

ー The scene shifts to the forest

*Rustle*

Azusa: ...Haah, haah...

( Where am I? )

( I didn’t think I’d accidentally enter Vibora territory... )

...Haah.

( I have to hurry up and deliver Ruki the thing he forgot. ...I messed up... )

...But they finally relied on me for something...

I have to push through, until I get this to Ruki...

*Rustle*

Azusa: ーー !?

ー Somebody approaches him

Azusa: ( I’ve been surrounded...!? Who are these people...? )

( They don’t seem to be Vibora...But if they’re a threat... )

*Cling*

Azusa: ( ...I do have a knife on me. While I might not be able to defeat all of them, I should be able to buy myself some time to run at least... )

???: ーー What do we have here?

Azusa: ...!

???: I didn’t think I’d run into a fellow Vampire over here!

What’s wrong? Are you lost, perhaps?

Azusa: ( ...His whole body is dripping with blood...Is he injured, perhaps...? )

???: Ah, I’m not a foe, you see. So could you lower the knife?

Azusa: ...Okay.

*Rustle*

Azusa: But...Are you alright? That blood...Are you hurt somewhere...?

???: Aah, it’s a long story. But it’s someone else’s blood which splashed on me, so don’t worry.

Azusa: ( Someone else’s blood...? Don’t tell me this man fought with the Vibora...? )

Kino: Right, right! I’m a little late to introduce myself but...My name’s Kino.

These people around me are my Ghoul companions. 

Azusa: Ghouls...? You mean those people who are being discriminated against within the Demon World...?

Kino: Yup, exactly. Even though we belong to different species, we’re on the same side.

Azusa: ( I remember Ruki telling me about them... )

( Because Ghouls lack magic powers, they don’t belong in this society, so they live secluded in poor living conditions... )

( But I wonder what they’re doing together with a Vampire then...? )

Kino: ...More importantly, who are you? What brought you here?

Azusa: Eh? Well...

( Should I tell him...? )

( But...He doesn’t seem to have any ill will, plus he’s a Vampire just like me, so... )

ー Azusa explains the situation to Kino

Kino: ...Hm, I see. If you’re Azusa, you must be one of the Mukami’s, right?

Azusa: You know me...?

Kino: Kind of. But that doesn’t matter right now, does it?

You were being chased down by the Vibora, weren’t you? Want me to save you then?

Azusa: Eh...?

Kino: I’m offering that I could explain the situation to the Vibora King, Zweig.

I have a bunch of connections, you see. I’ll help you out.

You want to deliver the thing Ruki forgot, don’t you?

Azusa: ...

It’s okay. I’ll manage by myself somehow...

Kino: Ahaha! ‘It’s okay’, you say? And what are you going to do if you get caught by the Vibora and you’ve only got one arm to work with?

Azusa: ...

I only need one hand to wield a knife...So I’ll be alright...

Kino: ...Heeh?

Azusa: ( Kino-san...He kind of hard to figure out and rather creepy. )

( I have to...hurry and make it to Ruki... )

ー The scene shifts to the guest room at Eden

*Creaak*

*Rustle rustle*

Yui: ...

( I had no idea the bed would feel this empty with nobody besides me. )

Azusa-kun...

Selection

→ Be worried about Azusa

Yui: ( I can’t behlp but we worried about him... )

( Should I really just wait here...? )

→ Azusa can do this (❦)

Yui: ( I’m sure he’ll be fine, right...? )

( I’ll have faith in him. )

*Rustle rustle*

Yui: Haah...I can’t sleep.

Monologue

Whenever I close my eyes, anxiety wells up from inside. 

I stepped out on the balcony all alone,

in a desperate attempt to distract myself a little.

While usually, Azusa-kun would be there,

quietly joining my side, right now he is not.

It felt as if a huge hole had opened up in my heart,

as tears naturally began to flow. 

ーー Azusa-kun, please be safe (無事でいて). 

I wished (願った) over and over again, to the shooting stars falling through the night sky.

ーー TO BE CONTINUED ーー

[felidaefighter]

Birds Of A Feather

(Dream is a chicken hybrid, because Loyal says so.)

Merry Christmas @simplepotatofarmer​! I hope you like your gift. :DD

     Dream’s always been wary of Philza. One of the most powerful, legendary warriors, yes, and alongside Techno, he’s long since earned Dream’s full respect. He’s grateful that Phil is an ally so long as Technoblade is. So that’s his reasoning-- if anybody ever asked, which nobody ever did-- for why he was so wary of Phil. The actual truth of why, buried deep down, was not something he ever wished to face.

    So when he comes to in an unfamiliar place and the first thing he sees is Philza, he’s alarmed to say the least, and manages to squawk out a “What happened?” fast as he can before Phil somehow and for some reason decides to get the drop on him.

    “Good morning to you too,” Phil jokes calmly, and as much as Dream hates to admit it the tone lets him know there’s no immediate danger and it relaxes him. He trusts Phil for as long as he trusts Techno, so unless he did something unseemly in his sleep like a companion of his tended to he should be fine, right? “Okay, goodmorning,” Dream tries again in a rushed voice with an eyeroll, “that still doesn’t answer my question. What happened?”

    Phil rolls his eyes in return. “You passed out, mate. Yeahhh turns out running and fighting in the snow immediately after spending god knows how long in a cramped up cage that’s hot as hell exhausts you. Who knew?” Dream attempts to stand-- it’s a lot harder than he’d like to admit, as most things seem to be these days-- and Phil tuts at him. “You’re in no shape to go anywhere. Let alone running off. At least wait until Techno gets back.”

    Dream huffs. Regardless of whether or not Phil has a point, he can’t afford to just... sit around. And heal. And recover. And do nothing. “Well, how long until he gets back?” Dream tries, trying not to sound desperate and scared and threadbare from the wear and tear of prison. Phil thinks for a moment. “Well, he’s off hunting-- and I mean hunting down that bastard Sam with Ranboo and apparently Tubbo right now-- and it’s a rescue mission to boot so it’s probably gonna be a minute. Sorry mate, I know you’re in a rush to go wreck your body and do cartoon evil things again,” Phil adds with a slight chuckle.

    “And you just want us to wait here like sitting ducks?!?” Dream counters, because he needs to go, because-- the look Philza is giving him, Dream realizes, makes him regret his choice of words nigh immediately. Phil waves him off nonchalantly. “They’re distracted, mate, we’ve got plans, you’ll be fiiiine.”

    “Unrelated,” Phil starts smugly, in a way that implies they both know it very much is related, “What type of hybird did you say you were again?” This is it. This is everything Dream ever didn’t want to happen. The only person who could figure it out. “Well I don’t like telling people because it’s kind of like, you know, they try and like make a big deal out of it, because it’s rare or whatever, but I’m a feathered dragon-- probably why so many people were afraid of me-- and it just sucks that I can’t fly,” Dream stutters, attempting to make it sound natural. It’s mostly true. Mostly.

    “Uh-huh,” Phil says. “Feathered dragon. Right. Sure. And that’s why you’ve got horns?” He’s leading him, surely, but Dream doesn’t care-- “Yes!--” he shouts over-eagerly-- “Yes, they’re awesome aren’t they? They’re epic, I love them.” Phil nods again. “And you’re sure it’s not, like, a comb? Like from a chicken?”

    “WHAT?!?” Dream squawks again, offended, “NO-- a chicken-- are you calling me a coward? I’m not a chicken. That’d be stupid. That’d be dumb. They’re clearly horns.” Phil laughs, a big loud cackle that fills the entire house. “I KNEW IT!” He laughs, and Dream’s flustered and embarrassed and horrified but this legend, this terrifying legend, his laughter is infectious and he starts to giggle without even realizing as he protests, red-faced. “I’m not a chicken!”

    “It’s okay mate,” Phil says with a hiccup, trying to hold back on his laughter, “It’s okay, you can be a chicken and still be feirce. I’ve seen some pretty vicious chickens in my lifetime, believe me. They can murder like nobody’s business. It ain’t your fault nobody seems to realize that.” It’s reassuring, somehow? And yet. “You say that after laughing like that,” Dream grumbles.

    “Awww mate I’m sorry, I didn’t mean anything by it. I’m just laughing ‘cause I was right. Am I really the only one that figured it out?” He seemed genuinely surprised at it. Dream shrugged. “I mean like-- okay but so like-- you’re a crow, right? You’re the only other bird. Nobody else gave a shit, they saw horns because they wanted to see horns and like, what, you think I’m gonna tell them I’m actually a chicken?” Phil was still trying to calm down from laughing, but he nodded, “Nah, that’s fair, I can see that being an issue for you. If nobody took you seriously ‘cuz of it.”

    “Exactly!” Dream exclaimed. And then he realized just how embarrassed he was. Here he was, meant to be a powerful warrior in his own right, laying in bed at the behest of Philza, baring his whole, chicken-hybrid heart to the warrior. This, he thought grumpily, was not how escaping from prison was meant to go. He decided to say as much. “This is not how I expected this to go,” He relayed to Phil, who laughed again. “You’re tellin’ me! Better stay and heal up then, who knows what you’re gonna need to do next.”

And Dream found he didn’t dislike that idea as much as he’d expected to.

[yerbamansa]

20 Questions for fic writers

I got tagged by @thetragicallynerdy, thank youuu <3

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

57 since 2018!

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

494,281, the vast majority of which is from the last year and a half.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Currently just Our Flag Means Death, but previously Schitt’s Creek.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

to wild homes we return to (Schitt's Creek) (5,943 words)

an atypical emotional response to common sounds (Our Flag Means Death (TV)) (6,612 words)

Made With Love (Schitt's Creek) (8,942 words)

What happened in Vegas? (Schitt's Creek) (1,000 words)

actually, the markup is very good (Schitt's Creek) (1,166 words)

I started writing Schitt’s Creek fic when the fandom was relatively small, so I suspect that accounts for the prominence here. Funny enough, the one OFMD fic in this list is the most recent thing I posted. The stats on that thing blow my mind a little (not that ever do, like, big name fan writer numbers).

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I reply to every one if I can. Sometimes when people binge-read a multi-chapter fic and leave comments on several chapters I find it hard to come up with something to say in reply to all but the last (or specific things mentioned in the comment), but I love when that happens!

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Gotta be in a time trap, an efficient little 5+1 not-exactly-a-fix-it OFMD post-S1 timeloop fic where Stede keeps waking up with Chauncey’s pistol in his face.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Skipping the Schitt’s Creek fics, because those are largely happy fluff to begin with… Probably the most uncomplicatedly upbeat happy endings are found in Disruptors and We’re Gonna Live In The Trees.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

No one has ever said anything unkind to me on AO3.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Oh, god, I’m fucking TRYING, and it is a TRIAL. It is NOT my default, but it’s personal shit I wanna work on, so. It’s generally not mlm, though ‘an atypical emotional response to common sounds’ is the one exception. Currently pushing myself to improve throughout the t4t tealoranges climate apocalypse fic the way things are going (with deep gratitude to tragic for their support and advice).

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Heh, my first attempt at writing smut was a Schitt’s Creek/The Good Place crossover, Wine Tasting! Eleanor helps Stevie explore her bisexuality as a kind of soul-saving thing (look, I don’t know). I’ve written a few other things that are heavily inspired by other things, or rewrite/twist something into the current obsession (OFMD, always OFMD), but no full-on crossovers.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not to my knowledge. That’d be weird.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nah, though a few have been recorded as podfics. ♥️

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes! Ask Me Anything: A TealOranges SMAU was totally co-authored with @thetragicallynerdy, of course. I also like to say that Kitchen Mistakes & How To Avoid Them was in many ways a collaboration with my friend rose, who was muuuuch more than a beta reader, even if they won’t claim it as such. And oh no I’ve dropped the ball on this (it takes effort) but several pals in one of my group chats were co-writing a silly thing together, Public Relations: An OFMD Celebrity SMAU. I really enjoy collaborating on creative projects and would do it again! Though, uh, probably no more SMAUs. 😂

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

tbh ships in and of themselves are not my main approach to enjoying things, though I realize that’s the structure a lot of fanworks take (including my own). I really do love writing Jim/Oluwande and Ed/Stede. I know, boring ol’ canon ships, but whatever. Those guys can fit all kinds of wild AUs and personal shit!

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Ehhh, honestly, if I abandon a WIP, it’s probably dead. I have at least one thing that might look abandoned because I haven’t updated it since August but I swear it isn’t. Probably. Ennhhh.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I think I’m good at picturing/researching the setting enough to shade in the details and make it feel real for the story. Dialogue, because I hear it in my head and rewind and play it back and write it down. Internal monologue/complicated feelings.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Oh god, smut. Smut is SO hard. Describing bodies/clothes and probably to a large extent facial expressions, too. Em dashes. Tagging.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I’ve really only done tiny bits of Spanish dialogue in fic. I took Spanish in school ages ago, but have never ever ever been fluent, so it’s pretty minimal and uses reference sites/translation tools to do my best that the phrases make sense in context, etc. If it were more than that, I’d want to confer with someone who’s a native speaker or has a lot of direct cultural experience, but generally I don’t think I’m ambitious enough to try to write outside my own experience in that particular way.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Schitt’s Creek, unless you count what might be considered songfic back when I was obsessed with Smashing Pumpkins and Radiohead in high school in the late ‘90s.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

Hmm, an impossible question, really. Maybe all that i need is you and the sea (an accidental time travel amnesiac love story told in five parts), because it was perhaps my first experience with something that bananas taking over my head and just flowing out of my brain over the course of several days, and it touches on all kinds of themes and issues and jokes I include in other fics. I learned a lot working on it, too. I just think it’s neat.

---

Tagging some writers I <3 here who might've already been tagged (i will never catch up with tumblr scroll) or simply don't wanna, so feel free to take this as a friendly wave hello if anything: @emi--rose @epersonae @ghostalservice @bktrashcat @sassygwaine [am i currently re-reading ALTWSS? yes] @petrichorca or really anyone <3

[crystalelemental]

Now that I have my Alola concerns out of the way, Kalos VA.

I’m going to start this with “What the fuck is that invisible Pokemon Calem’s talking about?”  This is the first time I’ve felt like I have no idea what something is.  I’ve seen speculation about Volcanion because of the steam, but that’s not invisibility.  I’ve seen people mention AZ’s Floette, but that’s stupid, it doesn’t have that ability as far as I’ve ever known.  And I’ve seen people mention Kecleon, which...okay look.  It’s probably not Kecleon.  Probably.  I’ll get to that.

Anyway!  At present, this arc has some really interesting ground rules.  Diantha’s been achieved, and the protagonists feel wildly unlikely given the recent Champion alts.  This leaves us open on like three potential slots for alts.  Which...isn’t a hard rule, but a general guideline.  Arcs tend to have between 4 and 5 pairs introduced, and we’ve effectively only got two.  So I’m hoping for three more.

Malva is possible, and perhaps downright likely.  I will be sad if Drasna is the only one not introduced, but the eventual CS will fix it.  That’s the one good thing about being E4: inevitability.  But they could also delay Malva until then, or lump her in with it if it happens next month after the VA.  Who knows.

Lysandre is a big hope, but we’ve had villains receive nothing before.  It’s far from guaranteed.  Mega Gyarados, probably shiny, feels most likely if he does get in.  I wouldn’t mind it.  But there’s also the possibility of Volcanion.  Who...had yet to be so much as referenced.

But the big remaining option is Emma.  Not gonna lie, if Emma doesn’t make it in, I’m going to be bothered.  This is important, goddammit.  Looker Fam assemble.  I know she talks about Crobat being her partner, but I’m hoping for Mimi the Espurr.  It’s iconic, and it’s stupid they don’t battle together.  But assuming it is Crobat, god I hope they give her Tech with defense drops and possibly straight-up Poison Zone like Courtney.  Looker needs some goddamn help.  It would also be nice to have a Crobat that functions on the physical side compared to Koga’s.

But as you may notice...all three are questions.  Malva may be with CS.  Lysandre may get nothing at all.  Emma may get nothing at all.  Which leaves us...kinda high and dry here.  We’re picking at straws, with the possibility of Sycamore, the possibility of Tierno and Trevor, the possibility of Gym Leader sygna suits, the possibility of AZ (please no).  But there is one that, if all goes well, would be a delight.

Looker alt.  Looker’s been front and center of importance in this arc, and I think he’s well worth it.  “But how?” you may be asking yourselves.  Hear me out.  Kecleon.  As a member of the international police with an emphasis on his ability to disguise himself, Kecleon would be a wonderful partner to him.  DeNA has also shown this increase in attention to Normal types recently, so another cool Normal type being used by Looker?  That’d be great.  Add in, consider how the arc has been playing out.  There’s apparent infiltrators to Team Flare, trying to use the weapon.  More than likely, this is Team Rocket in disguise like with Aqua and Magma.  I hate to say it, but it’s true.  In retaliation, Malva has plainclothes agents of Team Flare monitoring the entire island for information, and to intercept the rebels.  Looker seems to be on the back foot right now, being at an impasse as far as what’s actually happening, and having to rely on Malva’s support to maintain peace.  The idea that this culminates in Looker having a plan, and using his Kecleon’s disguise to gather his own intel on the sly, would be fantastic.  And it’s the only way this whole invisible Pokemon thing feels like it really comes together narratively speaking.

My personal hope is Emma, Looker, Lysandre, with Malva and Drasna occurring as a “separate” event later in the month, similar to how Sinnoh was introduced.  I think this would be the most exciting outcome for me personally.

[dirtyreusablehandkerchief]

Bingo TFP Megatron

bc I know you have opinions

he's big, evil, pointy and hot 💜.

i'm very interested in his backstory 'cuz i wanna know who he was before he became a gladiator. i know fanon says miner like IDW but i don't think that's ever confirmed (in the cartoon, at least. if the novels said anything, i wouldn't know because i don't like novels and the things i've heard about them go against my headcanons. and thus, i pretend they do not exist).

for the "they got done dirty by the fans" part: the amount fics where he's the big bad evil abuser. like yeah, his and starscream's relationship is faaaaaaaaaaar from healthy but there are reasons he acts like that. he doesn't do the things he did without reason. he doesn’t do them purely for sick kicks. have you all forget he used to be in the same position as starscream as well? cycle of abuse and all that. my point is: he has layers and he's more than big bad evil abuser (swear to god if anybody accuses me of excusing megatron's actions, i'm going to fucking break something).

also the homophobic megatron jokes. i haven't seen this one much, thankfully but it still irritates me. i have not seen a single other character be made the butt of this joke. it’s. just. him. because big men are evil and bad and because toxic masculinity, i guess.

for the “they got done dirty by the creator(s) part”: directly correlates with the “wasted potential” part. dude just...flies away at the end of predacons rising and then never shows up in the aligned continuity again. ever. not even in any of the comics, as far as i know. like, please, i wanna know what happened to him! is he even still alive by the end of the continuity???

i’m especially pissed because they actually planned to have him in RID2015!! they even got so far as to make a design for him and everything! but of course, that got scrapped and we got megatronUS instead. can you imagine if megatron actually appeared in RID2015? every decepticon in that show is gonna go batshit. even better if he appears during starscream’s arc! that’d be glorious! the story potential, man the story potential!!

[starrystar]

Alt:

20

Light gray background

Oddly enough, I don’t think I was ever scared I’d die.

SB: No, no, I’ll be fine. It’s just gonna be a really shitty few months.

Caption: For the first time in human history. People online offered me useful medical advice.

Quotation: The snail mucin moisturizer works on radiation burns. Ginger beer is your friend. Buy a bunch of really soft oversized men’s shirts. This is like having the world’s shittiest temp job. Take claritin when they give you the one shot.

21

Blue background

She was very right about the temp job.

I needed tests and more tests and even more tests before starting chemo

Spiky speech bubbles: MRI, C-T Scan, Labs, Bone Scan

Fortunately, they made all the appointments and just told me where to be.

SB: Otherwise my ADHD ass would still be navigating a phone tree.

22

Dark teal background like being underwater

Sound effects in bold take up the background: Clang clang clang clang clang whang whang whang bang bang clang clang clang bang

Caption: The MRI was…interesting. Since I had to lay facedown, it was like booking a massage and getting industrial music instead.

RN: You’re doing great, sweetie!

SB: What?! I can’t hear you!

23

Pink and fleshy background

The MRI showed that Bob had not metastasized. He was, for now, contained within the boob.

MD: It’s very good news!

SB: Oh thank God.

MD: Uh, it did show a cyst on your thyroid, though.

SB: …You’re shitting me.

MD: Thyroids get a lot of random lumps. We’ve scheduled an ultrasound.

Really? Really? Just…really?

24

Orange and red background like a tequila sunrise

SB: Is it even possible to get two completely unrelated cancers simultaneously?

MD: …yes. But I wouldn’t worry.

SB: You know, the last time I wasn’t worried about a lump…

Fortunately by then, the ten days were up

DR: Thank you for agreeing to a phone appointment. My daughter brought home pinkeye and…well…

SB: It’s fine! It’s fine!

MR: Oh God! No!

25

Pink and red background like pinkeye

Pinkeye aside, the oncologist was awesome. She laid out the schedule, the type of chemo, everything. I was getting the chemo known as the red devil. Yes, I would be nauseated. Yes, my hair would fall out. But on the bright side, my blood would become so toxic it could kill mosquitos. Also I might cry red tears.

MR: Oh, that’s metal as fuck.

SB: I know, right?!

26

Teal background like water

My husband would also have to wear a condom during sex once the chemo started.

SB: Wait, stop, hold the phone. Why?!

MD: That’s really a question to bring to the chemo education class.

SB: But what’s gonna happen to his jun-

MD: Chemo education class.

SB: …

MD: I bought one of your children’s books to read with my four-year-old daughter.

SB: I hope she enjoys it very much.

27

Lavender background

Before we could start anything though insurance had to approve it. That could take weeks.

SB: Oh. Joy.

My friends proved, yet again, that they were awesome.

SB: You wanna talk about it, great. You don’t want to talk about it, great.

SB: I think I want industry gossip and stupid memes today.

SB: Great.

My publisher sent me wine and told me the schedule could go hang.

28

Lime bubbly background

People I knew came out of the woodwork who had had cancer or were having it right this minute. They just weren’t telling anyone, a tactic that hadn’t occurred to me.

SB: You’re brave to talk about it in public!

SB: What, and keep all these tumor jokes to myself?

I wasn’t actually brave. Bravery is doing something that scares you.

Caption: Social media doesn’t scare me. Well, except for the healthy fear one should probably have at all times. The cancer scared me, but I live online. My pocket friends are part of how I navigate the world. Otherwise I’d just be shouting into the void. Not talking about it was a much scarier prospect. That’d be like looking into the void and not shouting.

End.

The Saga of Bob, Part III!

Part I

Part II

(Seriously, shout out to the UNC hospital system—once you’re in, it runs completely on rails.)

Friend of mine who was in the Navy falls asleep instantly in MRI machines because he says it’s like being back in his bunk in the bowels of the ship.

(Dr. Pinkeye has since made a full recovery.)

Part IV will post quite soon, but we’re getting through the backlog I hammered out in some kind of crazed fugue. Then it’ll be less drinking from the firehose, I promise.

You people transcribing this are heroes.

[shotorozu]

i feel like im annoying lol but here i am again 🥴

🥴 how do da boys react to a super bimbo mc like shes busty, sweet, innocent, helpful as much as she can be and doesnt really realize when people are hitting on her, she just thinks theyre being extra friendly. (Tamaki, izuku, shoto, denki, bakougo) or any of ur choice

Sorry if I’m being annoying ( •᷄ὤ•᷅)？ and tysm

bimbo s/o

character(s) : bakugou katsuki, todoroki shouto, amajiki tamaki (bnha)

probably (?) part one // ?

legend : [Y/N = your name] female! s/o, quirk not specific

headcanon type : fluff, crack (x reader)

note(s) : sooo 🤩 it’s my birthday tomorrow, not excited about that?? not sure! but im definitely gonna post more tomorrow, just because

»»————-　♡　————-««

bakugou katsuki

you didn’t seem like his type tbh. you’re kinda an airhead, and you’re sweet and helpful to everyone

and awfully innocent,,

so, you seemed like the person that bakugou would try and stay away from, but nope!

not in this case. i’m not sure what conspired in this explosive blond’s head, but he had a oddly specific attraction to you

he used to hate being around you, but it’s also quite entertaining being around you but why, you may ask?

not only are you super nice, and helpful, but you’re very likable too! which caused you to get secret admirers, and fanboys

but you also so happen to be clueless as fuck, so katsuki would always stick around— obviously very amused, only to tell you what their true intentions are

“what do they mean, go out? like,, outside?”

“no, dumbo. they wanna date you.”

“..like the calendar?”

“hah?? are you dumb?” he actually hated how oblivious you were at first, but he just got used to it

but this clueless airhead trait of yours is what he also hates, because when he developed feelings for you— he’d have to tell you

and,, he’s not the best with being direct with romantic stuff. so— you can see how that went.

he ended up confessing you in the most direct way he could’ve said it, but you still. didn’t. understand.

“fuck sake, i want to be your significant other. your fucking lover, the bitch that’ll be with you until this dumbass brain of yours stops working.”

okay, he was a little too direct, but at least you know his feelings!

when you both finally get together, everyone is shocked. like,, you, the sweetheart that likes helping people— dating thee bakugou katsuki??

everyone thought you were threatened to date him, because you didn’t understand other people’s advances— but in reality, katsuki just told you what he felt

straight from the heart.

also, since you’re also quite busty, katsuki loves sleeping on them— he literally won’t sleep, until he has his head resting on those milkers of yours

“maybe this is all you’re good for, huh? a fuckin’ head rest. there might not be anything up there, but at least it gives me some good fuckin’ sleep.”

he,, doesn’t mean that. you’re useful in so many other ways, but he loves pretending that he thinks that way, because of your replies

“ah, yes! i’m fine with being your head rest, katsuki. rest well, love!”

you’re not hurt, because he makes it a point to tell you multiple times a day that you mean lots to him.

but he gets super mad when people tell you that you’re stupid. because he can only tell you that!!

todoroki shouto

you also didn’t seem like you’d be his type,, everyone thought he would’ve wanted someone that’s smart as momo, or something similar

but he’s very content with being with you, for reasons he can’t seem to figure out.

he has his habit of watching you help people from afar, and he couldn’t help but smile whenever he engages in conversations with you

yeah sure, you might be more of an airhead than most people— but you have a heart of gold! and that’s what gathered his attention

sometimes, he’s quite clueless to some social cues— but even he can connect the dots

which you can’t seem to do. but you’re in luck! shouto’s usually the one that tells you what they mean

it’s something he loves and hates, only because of how popular you are with people in general.

sometimes, shouto debates if he should even tell you what they mean— because well,, he likes you.

usually, shouto would interpret things to you like this

“,, they like you,, romantically.”

“shou, are you sure? they look like they wanna be my friend!” he lets you call him by his first name, just because of how content you look by calling him ‘shouto’

he ends up whispering something into your ear, and your eyes light up in realization. “oh! so how princess bubblegum likes marceline?”

“,, yeah.”

but being shouto todoroki has it’s advantages. he isn’t afraid of being as direct as he could possibly be.

“may i have the honor of being your lifelong partner?”

“..?”

“oh, romantically. i’d love to be your lover, Y/N.”

“..oh! that’s what you meant.”

the way he sees you stumble with your words, as you pace back in forth— completely flustered by his words

makes him smile

and it all ends well when his friends see that his wallpaper is literally him laying down on your chest

which is something he always wanted to do

“shouto,, did you finally confess?!”

“yes. they said yes.”

they’re not really surprised that you understood, courtesy to shouto’s bluntness.

he is your protector against all of the people that make you seem useless. man literally lashed out when his father asked him to date someone with ‘more intelligence’

“Y/N may not be the definition of being book smart, but Y/N’s not useless!”

in short— he’s the bimbo protector! he’ll always be patient around you, and he would never dare to dumb you down.

amajiki tamaki

oh lOrd, please help him

you’re so kind, sweet, and helpful. you’d help anyone— regardless of their personality. and that’s what made tamaki interested in you

but you’re also very popular. which he could see why— since you’re attractive in a unique and special way.

tamaki absolutely disliked the idea of your kindness being taken advantaged of. i mean,, the guts of some people!

but he also hated being the one to break the news to you good or bad

he’s not good with the blunt stuff either, and he might’ve been worried about being around you— because well,, you look like you wouldn’t even hurt a fly.

“tamaki, what do they mean by ‘coming home with them for a nice time’ do they.. want to play mario cart with me?”

he looks like he needs to pass out, but he ends up telling you anyway. he’s just lucky that you could hear him.

but he sighs in relief when you end up kindly declining

nejire and mirio are SO amused by this pairing. i mean, it’s an interesting dynamic! how could they not be invested?

yet, they refuse to even explain things to you, especially when tamaki’s around to do said explaining

because apparently, ‘it’ll help you socialize more, especially with Y/N!’

but remember when i said that tamaki wasn’t great with the blunt approach? yeah— he’d have a heart attack, just trying to explain his feelings

���i— uhm how do i say this,, would you like t-to go out for some dinner with m-me?”

“oh sure! i should go tell mirio and nejire” you’d say that with a smile, and it felt like he was going to pass away on the spot.

nejire and mirio were the ones the tell you that ‘no, tamaki doesn’t want to be friendly with you, because he wants to romantically date you.’

and it felt like forever when they were explaining how and why, while tamaki was sitting in the corner.

but thank GOD! because you like him too!

super hesitant on resting on your chest, i mean,, to him, it looked like the nicest pillow for the deepest sleep! but he wasn’t sure if that’d be okay

because no!! to!! taking!! advantage!! of!! Y/N’s!! kindness!!

speaking of that, despite the fact that he’s socially awkward— he will not hesitate on defending you from any haters!

like, when people say that “tamaki and Y/N are such an awkward couple. tamaki’s super awkward, it looks like there’s nothing in Y/N’s brain. maybe she’s brainless”

because how dare they. not everyone is book smart— but that doesn’t give people the right to call you stupid!

“Y/N’s not brainless! she’s kind, helpful, and the sweetest p-person i have ever met. i suggest you take that back!”

in short— it gives him heart palpitations just having to explain things to you, but at the end of the day, it’s all worth it, if he can be with you

»»————-　♡　————-««

likes and reblogs are appreciated, thanks for reading!

i do not own bnha/mha and it’s characters. boku no hero academia/my hero academia belongs to horikoshi kohei, i only own the writing and i do not profit off of my hobby

do not plagiarize, reupload, translate, or use my works for audio readings without permission

[realcube]

you flinch during an argument

navi | masterlist | taglist 

thank you to anon for this request 

characters ♡ suna, atsumu & sakusa

content warning ♡ cursing, angst, mentions of abuse, hurt to comfort, hinted ptss, parent!reader (in sakusa’s)

rintarō suna

♡ he paced back and forth through the living room, casting you dirty looks whenever you try to speak 

♡ you rolled your eyes at how far he took your singular comment on his volleyball career

♡ you were aware that what you said might’ve offended him and in any other situation you would’ve just apologised but considering how needlessly confrontational he was being, of course you were going to be mean too

♡ ‘rin, you’re being overdramatic.’ you muttered off-handedly, assuming he’d brush it off like everything else you said, so ofc you did not expect what he did next

♡ he suddenly stormed over to you 

♡ not only did he take you by surprise but also his furrowed brows and generally mad aura unnerved you too, so your natural instinct was to flinch 

♡ once he saw that, he immediately stopped in his tracks 

♡ his head slowly tilted to the side and his clenched jaw loosened, ‘(y/n)?’

♡ your hands were still covering your face but when you heard the suna’s soft voice, you realised what you had just done and craned your neck out to peer over your hands, ‘yes?’

♡ obviously, his intention wasn’t to hurt you but rather just stand in front of you. though it worried him that your natural instinct was to prepare yourself for harm from him. despite the fact he would/has never hit you. 

♡ ‘are you okay?’ he sighed, slowly approaching you as if you were a small critter that’d run away in fright at any moment

♡ you hesitantly lowered your arms, eyes wide as you intensely examined his every move, ‘i’m fine. are you okay?’

♡ suna gestured to the seat beside you on the couch, ‘i’m good. can i sit?’

♡ you simply nodded

♡ he reluctantly sat down next to you and gently placed his hand on your knee, tracing circles with his thumb, ‘i didn’t mean to scare you. i’m sorry.’ he said, his now hushed voice contrasting to how sharp and loud his words were just a minute ago

♡ you blinked rapidly, shocked at how quickly his demeanour changed but also relieved he realised that what he did brought you discomfort, ‘it’s fine, i guess. it just looked like you were going to- y’know. and i’m sorry too, what i said was uncalled for’ you murmured, the words just falling from your lips without any prior thought as your mind was somewhere else

♡ ‘i’d never do that.’ he blurted out, ‘but i get why you might’ve thought.’

♡ a few minutes passed and not a word was spoken - you just blankly stared at the wall opposite, completely lost in thought while suna closed his eyes, slumped back in his seat and revaluated everything he did 

♡ eventually, you snapped out of your contemplation and turned to look at him, only to see his sleeping figure beside you 

♡ it was probably the most peaceful you’ve saw him all day - so you decided against waking him up and instead cuddled up to him, accidentally falling asleep yourself 

atsumu miya

♡ you had your arms crossed over your chest, patiently waiting for atsumu to finish his hissy fit

♡ ‘it was a fucking joke, (y/n)! not that i’d expect you to understand my humour anyway. do you not get what you did? you fucking embarrassed me.’

♡ ‘it wasn’t a very funny joke, atsumu.’ you shook your head disapprovingly, trying your very best to keep a level-head but his nasty remarks didn’t make it an easy task for you, ‘you made me really uncomfortable so of course i was going to say something. also, i didn’t embarrass you, you embarrassed yourself.’

♡ the fact you weren’t as worked-up about this as he was only irritated him more. because deep-down, he knew he was being overdramatic and the contrast between both of your demeanours only highlighted this fact.

♡ he gritted his teeth together, momentarily side-eyeing you before absentmindedly cracking his knuckles

♡ he cracked his bones when he got tense - you knew this - but there was a faint voice at the back of your head, insisting that you had to run away bc he was preparing to hit you 

♡ and it didn’t help when he jerked his head around to look at you 

♡ though it was only the movement of his neck, this caused you to flinch as a part of you expected his hasty motion to be followed by a swing of his hand 

♡ you never really thought too much of your action and assumed atsumu would pay no mind to it and continue to talk but you couldn’t have been more wrong

♡ he slapped his hand over his mouth and let out gasp as though his whole soul was exiting his body through his mouth

♡ your eyes were squeezed shut but you blinked them open to see when you mentally established that atsumu wasn’t going to swing at you and had actually stopped yelling

♡ ‘(y/n)- i’d- i’d never do that!’ the volume of his voice gradually rose as he spoke, starting as breathy emphasis and increasing to a cry

♡ upon noticed his appalled expression and his frozen structure, you dropped your arms which you had automatically raised in defence, ‘you’d never do what?’  you voice was hushed, afraid that if you spoke too loud, you’d reignite his temper

♡ he rushed over to your side, immediately opening up his strong arms for you to enter, if you wished, ‘i’d never hit you.’

♡ both his eyes and tone seemed sincere so without even thinking, you found yourself leaning into his embrace, his arms holding you close - but gently

♡ you really had no reason not to believe him as he’s never harmed you purposely in the past and he didn’t plan on harming you just there; he didn’t even plan on intimidating you but that kinda just happened involuntarily

♡ he had so much on his mind, so much he needed so say at once, so much he wanted you to know. hence, it all came out as rambles. 

♡ ‘i love you, (y/n). i love you so much. i don’t want anyone to hurt you - including myself. i just want you to feel safe - i want you to be safe - so i’ll leave if you don’t feel that way with me around. i can understand why you wouldn’t. but heh, i guess it’s quite funny because i feel the safest when i’m with you. well, it’s not funny - i’m actually gonna miss you like hell - but it’s ironic. i wouldn’t even dream of harming you, love, but i don’t expect you to live in fear constantly so yeah, i’ll go if you want me to.’

♡ you blinked rapidly against his chest, pulling back to look him in the eyes and to your surprise, he appeared to be in more tears than you

♡ ‘i love you too, atsumu.’ you cooed, wiping away one of his tears with your shivering hand, ‘we don’t have to break-up. i mean, truthfully, i feel safe when you’re around too.’

♡ he let out an audible sigh of relief, ‘thank goodness.’

♡ a few moments passed of you just silently enjoying the feeling of being wrapped up in his arms until he spoke up once again while placing an infintite amount of kisses on your forehead, punctuating each kiss with an ‘i love you.’

kiyoomi sakusa

♡ he was sitting beside you on the bed but he had long before withdrew his arm which rested behind your head when you expressed your concern surrounding his hostile behaviour lately 

♡ ‘omi, i’m too ti--’

♡ ‘don’t call me that.’

♡ you sighed as you realised that this had spiralled into a heated fight which you really didn’t intend for it to become. all you wanted to do was talk to him about how rude he’s been to you and the baby as of recently and try to work out a solution but he had turned this into something way bigger than it needed to be.

♡ the remarks he was throwing around - as if they were nothing - resulted in a wrath bubbling in the pits of your stomach, which had been present and building up since the start of sakusa’s attitude problems 

♡ you knew that if this argument didn’t stop soon, you’d lash out on him and although you really didn’t have a problem with that in theory, you had spent hours trying to get the baby to fall asleep and you didn’t want to risk waking them up with the noise 

♡ and though you hated to give sakusa (mental) praise in a situation like this, you had to admit that he was good at keeping his voice down even while angry

♡ so you decided that it was best to diffuse this situation quickly and pick it up at a later date, ‘you know what, kiyoomi--’

♡ ‘don’t call me that either.’ at this point it was clear he was just saying that to piss you off, and it was working

♡ ‘--i’m going to bed; i’m tired from doing all the work in this damn house. we’ll talk about this later.’

♡ sakusa quirked a brow, scoffing at your statement despite the fact it was completely true 

♡ ‘no, let’s talk about it right now. since you clearly have a lot to say.’ 

♡ instead of replying, you gave him what he deserved - the silent treatment

♡ you casually pulled off your slippers, tossing them aside, proceeding to do other nightly activities - while completely ignoring his presence - then reached down to pull the duvet over yourself so you could drift into sweet, serene slumber to imagine a life where sakusa acted like loved you again  

♡ ‘(y/n).’ sakusa snapped, his voice sharp and demanding, ‘listen to me. talk to me- god, you’re so immature.’

♡ your eyes widened; out of the corner of your eye you saw him quickly raise his arm

♡  during your three years of marriage with sakusa, not once had he ever purposefully harmed you - physically or emotionally - but you were aware that what you were doing displeased him so your immediate reaction was to turn away and shield yourself with your forearms

♡ sakusa froze

♡ moments passed and you had yet to feel the impact of his hand so you lowered your defences to peer at him, only to see that his arm was stretched upwards as he yawned

♡ his gaze flickered between you and his arm - he was truly at a loss for words at what he just witnessed

♡ a lump formed at the back of his dry throat as he didn’t dare to speak, trying to communicate all his emotions through his eyes which grew increasingly difficult as they began to burn with tears and ache from the elongated period of time he went without blinking 

♡ he wanted to tell you that he’d never lay an finger on you in that way, that he adores you and he was aware of how he’s been treating you recently but he was previously too arrogant to change his ways. now he was ready to change though, if it’s not too late. 

♡ but all that came out was a choked syllable followed by a cough 

♡ ‘are you okay, omi?’ you tilted your head, watching as your husband coughed his lungs out beside you, his puffy, irritated eyes squeezed shut

♡ he eventually managed to catch his breath and the first thing he did was offer his shaky hand to you 

♡ though you were reluctant at first, upon meeting his gaze, it was as though his fury had melted away. his eyebrows were no longer knitted together, his judgemental sneer was now a gentle smile he wore to try reassure you and the way he looked at you resembled how he did on your wedding day. all the resentment, all the stress and all irritation was gone - which left you with the considerate, understanding man you had married. 

♡ you fingers found their way to his as you slowly intertwined them together, ‘we should, uh, g-get some rest, yeah?’ you stuttered, your lips gradually curling into a weak grin

♡ a faint hum of agreement could be heard from sakusa as he shuffled so he was now laying down, with a duvet draped over him 

♡ though he lay with the intention of going to sleep, he kept his hand locked with yours all throughout the night

[teasty]

hold on tight || b.c (m)

"hi! can you write something about streetracer!chan x f reader where things got heated up 🥺🥺 i really like your works by the way, kiss yourself really is one of my jisung’s fav fic !!" - anon

a/n: holyashjdljzhldsa just the thought of streetracer!chan makes me... omg i don’t even KNOW, i'd actually go crazy... and omg tysm! that means so much to me :,( and you're gonna have to excuse me since there's so many things heated could mean i'm just gonna make it angsty and smutty,, also kinda went off for a fluffy ending because it's bang chan, the christiano bangnaldo, how can i not???

● pairing: bang chan x (fem) reader

● genre: a lil bit of fluff at the beginning | angst | smut (mdi!)

● warnings: chan acts like a dick but he really isn't | illegal gambling/street racing | established relationship | angry sex | (of course) car sex | hair pulling | degradation + praise | dom!chan, sub!reader | fighting :( | semi - public sex | profanity | suggestive dialogue | reader slaps chan once :( | unprotected sex (please be safe!) | choking | kind of a quickie???? | super happy ending because i'm sappy like that

● requested? yes!

● words: 8.7k

→ summary:

You’ve never known about your boyfriend’s secret and very illegal job, if you could even call it that.

"Shut up, buckle up and hold on tight 'cause it's gonna be one hell of a night for us, darling."

It’s a cold, rainy night. You’re waiting comfortably on the couch, sitting there wrapped up in one of Chan’s blankets, waiting ever so patiently for his return. He’s not usually out this late, neither did his job usually end this late. Your mind was getting the worst kinds of ideas as you held your phone in your hand, more worry than anger coming over you. You couldn’t be mad at him, really, you were just worried something happened to him, since he wasn’t picking up your calls or even looking at your texts.

It’s around midnight, and you swore you wouldn’t sleep until you watched Chan, in all his glory, walk through the front door of your guys’s shared apartment. You’ve been dating Chan for years, ever since high school. And, now, even after graduating college and finding a stable job and apartment, Chan still tended to keep things from you. It was a bad habit of his, yes, but you couldn’t really be too mad at him for it. Besides, you’ll be able to help him out of that habit. Once he comes back, at least.

To wait, you decided to watch a bit of television to let your mind wander from the thought of something bad happening to Chan. Of course, the subtle thought of him cheating crossed your mind a few times, but Chan’s only ever been the most loyal and dedicated boyfriend, even past his pretty hard shell. He acts pretty tough sometimes, but you know that he’s just a little bit insecure about himself on the inside. Which, to you, is completely normal. Everyone’s at least a little bit insecure. You couldn’t blame him for that.

Getting with Chan was actually very difficult at first. You both had a rocky start before you started dating, since Chan was kind of like the cliche popular bad boy, and you were the snarky book nerd. You both started off arguing and bickering about everything. But, when you both got closer and closer, you began to see a softer, kinder side to him. And, like magic, you two started dating. You don’t really remember how it happened. It might’ve been just Chan saying, “Wanna date me?” or something like that just ‘cause it’s simple. However, getting it past your parents about your relationship with Chan was the most difficult in the world. They did not approve of him whatsoever. Even today, they’re still cautious of him even though Chan’s already proven his loyalty to you and swore to your parents that he’d never lay an aggressive finger on you.

You’re parents didn’t really like him because of his choice of outfits and friends, which was a stupid way to judge somebody in your opinion. So, no matter how many times they tried to break things off or distance you from Chan, you two always found your way back to each other. Though it was fun, all the sneaking out at three in the morning, saying you’re going over to a friends house when you’re really going to go see Chan and all the late night calls in a hushed tone, you’re glad you can finally relax about it and live peacefully with Chan without the need to sneak around.

But, your mind hasn’t been so peaceful these last few hours. There’s still no sign of Chan and no opened messages. You gave up on calling him after the fifth call had gone unanswered, and just decided to wait. Clutching your phone to your chest in case he were to call or text. Your eyes switch between the screen and the front door (which led into the living room).

You nearly jumped out of your blanket when your phone started ringing obnoxiously loud. Your heart beat loudly as you scrambled to look at the caller’s I.D. And, thankfully, it’s Chan. You’ve never answered so quickly.

“Chan?” Your excited voice squeaked out when you brought the phone close to your ear, a bright smile etching over your lips. Just happy that he’s in contact with you.

“Hey, darling,” Chan’s voice was husky and tired, and a little deeper than you remember. He must be exhausted, and you wondered if he had to stay late at work, “I’m so sorry for being out late. I’ll be home soon.”

“Alright… Is everything okay? What were you doing out so late?” You ask carefully, wrapping the blanket tightly around you.

“Work. My boss had me work over time. I would have texted you, but I was pretty busy,” in the distance, you can hear the sound of his car’s engine. He must be driving pretty fast. Chan also has a really nice car he saved up for and worked really hard for. It’s a smaller, good looking and really, really fast car. You could recognize that engine anywhere.

“Oh… I’m sorry about that,” You respond after a moment.

“It’s alright. Nothing to worry too much over,” you can hear Chan’s smile even through the phone, “And, by the way, could you do something for me before I get home?”

“Sure.”

“Could you make me something small to eat? I didn’t have the chance to eat dinner at work. If you could do that, that’d be so great, baby.” Chan says, and you get up off of the couch. Already heading for the kitchen.

“I could make you some jjajangmyeon? We have all the ingredients,” you say, surfing through your pantry.

“That’d be great, (Y/N). Thank you,” Chan sighs through the phone, and you pull out the ingredients.

“Of course. When will you be home?” You ask before he could hang up.

“I’ll be home in the next ten to fifteen minutes, at the least.” He says, and you can hear the engine get a little bit louder behind him, “I have to focus on the road. I’ll be home soon. I love you, baby.”

“Love you, too, Chan.” You respond, and hang up. Now with the satisfaction and the relief of knowing Chan’s coming home, you separate the ingredients out and start cooking (thank god you took that home economics class back in high school. You couldn’t cook for shit before that). Since Jjajangmyeon is a pretty slow cooked dish, you try your best with temperature control to fit it into the timeframe for when Chan gets home, wanting it to be ready for him.

You had your hair tied back as you cooked, occasionally looking up to watch the television, which was still on the random news channel from before. It talked about things you weren’t too interested in, so you only kept it on for background noise.

You were so immersed in cooking, you didn’t even notice the door slamming open and closed and a pair of heavy footsteps walking up to the kitchen. You jumped when Chan’s arms wrapped around your waist, his chin planting itself on your shoulder. He laughs tiredly at your reaction, and you turn to give him a subtle glare, but your smile deceived you.

“Hey, baby. I’m sorry for coming home so late. I promise it wasn’t my intention,” Chan grumbles out, his words low and slightly slurred, mostly because he’s tired.

“It’s alright, don’t apologize,” you chuckle softly as you arrange two portions of the jjajangmyeon into two different bowls. Chan watches silently over your shoulder, “I’m just glad you’re home. You worried me. Please text me next time, before you stay overtime and don’t bother texting me. I worry a lot, you know?”

“I know, (Y/N). I know you worry too much for your own good,” Chan smiles softly, chuckling tiredly, “It’s one of the reasons I love you so much.”

You smile, flustered, and raise a warm hand to press against Chan’s cheek, turning your head to press a loving kiss to his temple, which is cold, even in the warm kitchen. “Dinner’s ready. Do you want to eat in bed?”

“Not if you’ll make me do the dishes directly afterwards,” Chan lets go of you to take his dish, and you take yours.

You cock a brow at him, “I was going to make you do them anyways. You’re not getting out of it that easily.” You giggle and tap his nose with the tip of your finger. “Come on. Take mine, too. I’ll shut everything down.” You hand your bowl to Chan, who takes it quickly as you scurry around, turning off the television. Turning off lights and putting the dishes in the sink.

Once Chan’s changed into more comfortable wear and you’re both comfortable in bed, watching some show on the TV while eating. Time at home was usually like this; relaxing. You’re cuddled up to Chan while he ate slowly. Once you both finished, you placed them on the nightstands for the time being.

Chan was asleep instantly. You were up a bit longer, still a bit run on adrenaline from worrying so much earlier, despite knowing you have to be up early for work. Chan didn’t have to work till the afternoon, but you had to be up early since you’re a librarian at the local public high school. Chan’s an assistant producer and works under a decently big entertainment company. It’s quite the drastic difference, but you being a pretty big book worm yourself, you decided it would be fun to be a librarian (mostly using your literature degree), even if it’s stressful at times. Chan’s work, however, is much more tedious than your own. Where you can usually go at your own pace, he has more strict deadlines and sometimes more difficult work.

So, you let Chan sleep on your stomach. His arms wrapped around you securely as his face nuzzled into the soft fabric of the oversized shirt you were wearing. You were up a bit longer, watching the TV while running your hands through Chan’s soft hair. Enjoying the moment for the time being before you, yourself, drifted off into a deep sleep.

┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

You were the first one to wake up the next morning, per usual. You woke up to your alarm that Chan thankfully slept through. You got ready as quickly and quietly as you could. Since you work in a pretty professional environment, you wear something modest, but fits well with the fall weather and your fashion style. You wore a white long sleeved shirt and a pair of black slacks under a jacket with your university’s logo on it and a pair of sneakers. They weren’t too big on dress code for the teachers at the school, but the students still had to wear uniforms.

Before you left, you made Chan lunch for the day and yourself a lunch. You even bothered to wake him up briefly to give him a kiss goodbye and that you’ll be back early afternoon, although he’ll probably be at work, then. Chan, although three fourths asleep, gave you a tight hug and a kiss with a slurred ‘Love you’ before plopping back onto the bed and instantly falling back asleep.

Although Chan had quite the expensive car, he wasn’t quite fond of you driving it. You have your own car, and it’s fine. Mostly used to drive to and from work and nothing more, since most other things you were with Chan, so you both usually took his car. It’s not so much a matter of richer and poorer, his car just had more little trinkets and things that are just more convenient. You’re not completely sure what model his car is, all you know is that it’s expensive.

The school isn’t too far. It’s actually a ten minute drive from your apartment. You have to make it there pretty early, so the roads aren’t jam packed like they would be when Chan has to drive to work. So, you have a bit of an advantage there. When you get there, you’re met with the people in the front office, who bow respectfully to you, and you make your way to the library.

You set up at the large, round desk. You especially like being a librarian, because it’s quiet. You don’t think you’d do too well as a teacher, so you settled for a librarian since it was a good and easy way to use your literature degree and put it to good use, other than the fact you’re writing a novel, but that’s a whole other story (hehet).

It’s about half an hour before some students pile in, bidding you good morning and sitting down at the tables to study for whatever assignment or test they have, or to finish homework. Some of them go around to look at books, but most just sit by their lonesome and work on whatever while blasting profane music into their poor ears.

You were busying yourself going through overdue books, and emailing parents about student’s overdue books. You were immersed in your work, so you were somewhat shocked when someone tapped your shoulder. When you turned, you were met with the smiling face of your coworker. A middle aged, pretty woman named Jung Migyeong, who gave you the permission to call her ‘unnie’. She’s considerably your work - best friend. She’s the only person who really delved into conversation with you, unlike most of the other teachers who only talked to you about whatever book they’re class reading or for book suggestions (and you just choose the first book in the library that comes to mind).

“Oh, you scared me!” You giggle in a hushed tone, and Eunmi smiled brightly, her motherly aura giving you a sense of calmness.

“Sorry, sorry!” Eunmi sits on your desk, more leaning against it. Eunmi is really a pretty lady. Her hair is cut short to her shoulders, and she never wears makeup. Her natural tone is without blemishes or acne. She always wears pretty dresses to work, and she always carries around her purse for some odd reason. “I wanted to catch up with you. I didn’t realize you were so immersed in your work. I should’ve known, you’re more responsible than half the teachers here.”

“I try, I really do,” You respond, leaning back in the chair and smiling up at her, “Do you have a free period for the first hour?”

Eunmi nods, “Yes, I do. They switched it up just ‘cause of something wrong in the student's schedules. But, that’s past the point. How have things been going? In the home life?”

You shrug a shoulder, your smile dropping, “It’s… going. My boyfriend didn’t come home until, like, twelve - thirty last night. He said he had to stay late for work, but I don’t get it, Eunmi. He wouldn’t answer my calls or texts, and I don’t think his job prevents him from at least opening a text until he gets off, you know?”

“You said he’s a producer, right?” Eunmi asks, her head tilting down to look at you more clearly. You nod, “Well, he might’ve been busy with the idol. It’s pretty difficult work, I’m surprised he’s been able to keep up with it well.”

“Well, he came home hungry and tired,” you sigh again, “Which is weird because if he stays late he usually grabs something from the kitchen at the company building or fast food and eats it before he comes home. But, he was hungry… not super hungry, but I made him jjajangmyeon.”

"Jajangmyeon?" Eunmi’s head tilts, and one brow lifts and she scoffs, “That’s like a fifty minute dinner.”

“Not if you toy around with the temperatures, no,” you smile, and Eunmi shrugs a shoulder, “Eh, I was the one who suggested it to him. It’s one of his favorites, and he sounded exhausted and overworked so I though, you know, might as well. But, after eating, he was out like a light. You wouldn’t think that producing would make someone so tired.”

“You never know,” Eunmi reassures, “You seem to be really worried about this. You don’t think he’s cheating, do you?”

You quickly shake your head, “No, no! I know him, and I know that he would never do that to me. I think he’s just trying to hide something from me. I’m not mad at him, I just don’t want him to keep anything from me.”

“You’re not mad… yet!” Eunmi corrects, and your lips purse, “If he’s really hiding something from you, it must be pretty big. I would personally be surprised if you were able to keep your temper if you found out whatever it is he’s hiding. Cheating or not.”

You’ve never really been one to get extremely mad or even start arguments. As said before, you and Chan did have petty arguments back in high school, but since then, you’ve both matured. Chan always shut down a fight if you were getting too agitated, and you were usually never the first one to start up an argument, since your patience isn’t as thin as before. You will admit, though, you’d be decently upset if you found out Chan really was hiding something from you. You trust him so much, you thought there should’ve been nothing to hide.

“I suppose you’re right,” you lean your head against your hand, resting your elbow on the desk, “If there’s a good chance, I’ll talk to him about it tonight. If I want things to really work out with him, then there has to be complete trust and honesty with each other.”

“That’s the spirit,” Eunmi proudly says, placing a gentle hand on your shoulder.

“I want to spend the rest of my life with him, unnie,” you admit shamelessly, and Eunmi smiles wistfully, “I want to grow old with him. But I don’t want to live waking up every day at four in the morning and coming home to no one for hours on end. And, sometimes he won't come till midnight or morning.”

“Well, my husband and I used to have a lot of secrets, too. That we kept from each other,” Eunmi admits, reassuring you that you’re not the only one going through something like this, “The only way we were able to sort things through was by sitting down and talking to each other. Just telling all of our secrets to each other, even if they’re embarrassing or stupid. Just knowing the fact that we can trust each other with everything gives us that reassurance that we’re meant to be. Honesty is everything.”

You look down, thinking about the advice Eunmi had just given you, and you swallow down the growing lump of frustration in your throat, “Thank you for the advice, unnie. It means a lot to me.”

“Of course. I’m always free to talk, and you have my number if anything happens,” Eunmi smiles fondly, “And my doors are always open to you. I’ve spoken to my husband about you and he said that he’s always willing to keep our doors open. Just in case anything happens. You can’t be too careful, right?”

“Right,” you smile, flustered by Eunmi’s kindness, “Thank you so much. I’m… you’re right. If the worst of the worst happens and I’m booted out of my own apartment, then I’m at least glad to know that there’s some place I can go to that’s not three cities over.”

Eunmi laughs softly, and you laugh along with her, “I’m glad. Anyways, it’s about that time. I’m going to start heading back to my classroom. Let Chan know that I said hello, and that I wish you both well. Good luck, (Y/N).”

“Thanks, unnie. I’ll call you later,” you wave briefly as Eunmi makes her way out of the library, students bowing briefly to her as she passes.

You’re glad to have a friend like Eunmi. You’re lucky to have someone open their doors to you. Sometimes, you wonder if Eunmi views you as a younger sister, since she constantly rambles on and on about how she loves being called unnie or noona by her younger coworkers, even if she’s among the younger teachers. She’s like the sister you’ve never had. Sure, things had to be professional, but you’d like to spend more time with her out of the workplace. That would be fun.

The rest of the day is pretty slow. You had a few classes come in to pick up literature books, math books and to check out some books, but that was really it. You didn’t see Eunmi again, and left a few hours after the school closed. There was a bit of traffic on the way home, but it was mostly cleared up.

When you got home, you weren’t surprised to be met with an empty house. No sign of Chan, except the lunch you made him was gone, meaning he took it with him, thankfully, and he left a cute little note on a sticky note saying his thanks to you for making it for him. Which he usually did for you (you never bothered to throw them away. You actually kept them all in a little cigar box for safekeeping. Why? You didn’t know. You just felt like it.)

Like every day when you come home, you change into a pair of more comfortable clothing, which was just one of Chan’s hoodies you took out of his side of the closet, and a pair of ripped jeans. Since Chan didn’t do the dishes before he left, like you thought he would, you decided to do them to pass the time. In doing so, you turned on the TV for some background noise as you rolled up your sleeves to start scrubbing the dishes.

However, your attention was soon caught by the TV when the regular news anchor started talking about crime. At first, it was just about a robbery that took place in uptown, and that didn’t really suit your interest. What did catch your attention, enough to turn off the faucet and ignore the dishes to watch the TV, was when an all - too familiar black car with tinted windows and no license plate appeared on the screen, and there was a red car, too, but you didn’t recognize that one.

You turned up the volume, “Today, police are trying to look for these cars with no license plates caught on camera last night. They were suspected to be illegally street racing and gambling last night at around eleven o’ clock at night before being caught on security footage of a hotel nearby. If you can identify these cars, please contact the police immediately. One has been identified as a black Ferrari SF90 Stradale. The other has yet to be identified. If you see anything suspicious on the streets, please contact authorities. Here’s a clearer picture of both cars.”

And, that’s when it sparked you. One of the pictures of the black Ferrari was of the front. Despite the tinted window, you could clearly see a black ice Little Tree air freshener hanging from the mirror and a familiar hand gripping the wheel tightly. How could you recognize it? Despite the low quality, you can see a familiar ring on the middle finger. A celtic design Chan loved so much.

“Oh… my fucking god,” your mouth drops open as realization hits, and you immediately dash to the bedroom to yank open Chan’s dresser drawer, one left vacant for paperwork to “keep things safe”, and you pull out his insurance for his car. And, there it is, in plain sight. Ferrari SF90 Stradale. Color; black. Windows; tinted. At first, shock pools through you. Doubt climbing up. There’s no way Chan’s a criminal. There’s no way that he’s the one in the Ferrari. It has to be someone else.

But, there was only one way to find out. You had to be sure it was him.

So, you grabbed your purse and your keys and threw on a pair of slip - on vans. The sun was already setting, and you nearly forgot to lock up before running to your car. Barely unlocking it before you throw yourself into it, not even bothering to buckle your seatbelt before driving off to god knows where. Your gut leading you, immediately driving towards the area shown on the news. You pull out your phone, trusting the wheel in one hand as you pull up Chan’s profile and call him, pressing the phone to your ear.

The ringing carries on and on until the familiar voice of Chan speaks up, telling you that he’s not available and to leave a message after the beep.

“Oh, fuck off!” You scream at your phone before trying to call him again. Again and again it led to voicemail. Voicemail after voicemail. You couldn’t text him, not with you driving.

After the tenth call, you let out a frustrated yell, hitting your wheel with your palm and trying your best not to cry. You might be overreacting, since there’s a large chance that it isn’t Chan. But, for some reason, you believed it. You believed, at least somewhat, that it was Chan’s car. That it was Chan in the car. You didn’t want to believe it, but you did.

And your questions coursing through your mind were soon answered when you pulled up to the spot from the news, it now twilight, the sun just being set over the city’s horizon. You pulled onto an empty freeway, and parked in an alley between two buildings. There’s a group of people and a ton of expensive cars around the freeway. There were people crowded around a table. Some girls sat on top of cars, talking and laughing to each other while wearing vulgar and revealing clothes. Your brows furrow, deciding to stay low for a while. You turn off the engine to your car and watch carefully, gripping your phone in your hand. They seemed to be enjoying themselves, popping beer bottles, laughing and talking amongst themselves.

But, it’s when the sound of a loud engine came into earshot, and everyone, including you, turned to see the source of the sound. The moment the crowd of people see who it is, they start to cheer loudly. Throwing up their hands. However, your mouth falls open once more as the black Ferrari SF90 Stradale with tinted windows and a black ice Little Tree air freshener hanging from the rear - view mirror. It pulls up to the crowd, and they all part to make way for it.

Instead of shock or sadness, anger and rage begins to boil inside of you, and you grip your steering wheel tightly as you watch Chan, Christopher Bang, step out of the car. People pat his shoulder, and he smiles widely at them. Giving a few people hugs and even smiling to some of the women, who tried to steal a hug from him, too. He’s wearing clothes you don’t ever remember seeing. He wears a black leather jacket over a white button up and black skinny jeans. You’d be impressed by how good he looks if you weren’t so upset.

You didn’t even have to look at your phone as you pulled up Chan’s profile and called him, pressing the phone roughly to your ear.

“Pick up… Pick the fuck up,” you grumble under your breath as you watch Chan. He pulls his phone out of his pocket, and looks at it briefly.

Not even hesitating to hang up.

As you heard the familiar sound of Chan’s sweet voice telling you he’s not available at the moment and to leave a message after the beep, you finally have enough courage to get out of your car. Slamming the door shut and making your way out of the alley. They’re not too far, but it's a long enough walk for you to catch the eye of some people. You don’t even pause to rethink your decisions when a girl taps the chest of one of the guys, who glares at you with a raised brow.

The man that glared at you stepped away from the crowd, and you could barely see Chan over the people. He walks over to you, and you stop when the man is right in front of you, peering down you. The smell of cheap beer oozing off of him.

“And who the fuck are you?”

“Chan’s girlfriend, now get the fuck out of my way,” you try to push past him, but he grabs you by the arm. Tightly, too. Probably tight enough to leave a bruise after a while. “Hey! Let go of me.”

“No can do, princess,” the man says, smirking mercilessly down at you, his grip not loosening one bit, “Whether or not you’re Chan’s bitch doesn’t matter to me. It’s either you leave or I take you home and we have a good time. Well, I will, at least.” So, you tried to yank your arm from his, trying your best not to use your free hand to punch him in the face.

“Where’s Chan? Bring him to me.” You demand, and the man scoffs, chuckling.

“Fine, have it your way,” the man turns his head towards the crowd, a few people watch, and he says, “Grab Chan. This chick says she’s his girlfriend.” A few of them laugh at him, thinking it’s a joke. But, you stand your ground, glaring through the crowd. One of the people that laughed pushed through a few people. It takes a minute, and there’s a tense silence between you and the man as you try to pry his hand off.

But, as you suspected, a smiling Chan pushes through, but his smile instantly drops when he sees you.

“Hey, Chan. This chick’s babbling on about being your girl. Should I kick-”

“Get your hands off her right now before I shoot you in the face.” Chan interrupts, anger lacing his dark, deep voice. The man holding your arm instantly lets go and steps away, his hands rising in defense. Mumbling something about just ‘trying to keep things safe’. Once the man is away, Chan walks up to you, now being the one tightly gripping your arms. Leaning down so his face is close to yours.

“Why are you here, (Y/N)? Why the hell are you here?” He asks harshly, his voice full of surprise and desperation. He even shakes you slightly.

“You seriously thought I wouldn’t find out?” You snap, ignoring his question all together, “You thought I was dumb enough to let this go under? Well, I’ve been dumb for too long, Christopher. I’m not going to be like that anymore.” You know he’s not too big a fan of being called by his real name, but you do it anyway.

“Go home (Y/N). I’ll explain everything to you afterwards.” Chan says, placing a hand on your shoulder, trying to turn you away.

“No!” You yell, pushing his arms off you, “I am not going home, Chan! I am staying with you. I need to know what the hell all of this is. Right. Now.” You demand, and Chan shakes his head.

“No. You’re going home, (Y/N),” Chan tries to push you away again, his hands gripping your shoulders tightly and trying to turn you from the curious crowd. However, you weren’t going to be let off so easily. You swiftly turned around, letting your flying hand come in contact with Chan’s cheek. Smacking him. You made sure not to backhand him, knowing how much that could hurt. Besides, you don’t want to hurt him too much, you just want to get your point across, and he wasn’t listening to your words. He lets go of you again, his head flinging to the side because of the impact.

“I said no. I’m staying here,” You repeat yourself, and Chan’s eyes no longer lace with aggression, but worry. He doesn’t seem upset that you hit him. In fact, he seems to gloss over it. “I need to know what’s going on-”

You weren’t able to finish your sentence until Chan grabs you by the wrist and pulls you into the crowd. They part to make way for him, and you aren’t able to muster out a sentence before Chan unlocked his car and shoves you forcefully into the passenger seat.

“Chan, what -”

“Shut up, buckle up and hold on tight ‘cause it’s gonna be one hell of a night for us, darling,” Chan snaps, and your lips clamp close at his harsh words. You didn’t expect that out of him. You could nearly cry right there. Chan backs away and slams the door shut, and you quickly scramble to put the seatbelt on as Chan yells something at the crowd, and they erupt in cheers. A few people scramble to get into different cars, and the rest stay back, keeping their distance. However, Chan didn’t seem too pleased as he walked around the car and into the passenger’s seat, locking the doors.

“Chan…”

“Quiet,” Chan snaps, revving the engine of the car. You can faintly hear the cheer of the onlookers behind as Chan pulls alongside the other three cars. A young woman wearing small shorts and an exposed shirt too small for fall walks ahead, and pulls a red cloth out of her back pocket. Her red lips smile bright as she lifts her red cloth. She holds up one finger, and Chan’s engine growls from behind, the car shaking along with it. Your hands go to grip the first thing, which is the cup holder in the center console and the door. Bracing yourself for what’s about to happen.

“Chan!”

“I said quiet!” Chan yells, sparing you a glance and your brows creased with worry as the woman holds up a second finger, and Chan’s hand grips the wheel as the other rests over the buttons.

She doesn’t hold up a third finger. Instead, she throws down the red cloth, and the moment she does so, Chan is off on the road. His foot slammed against the gas as he pushed his back against the seat and used one hand to effortlessly steer. You feel so impossibly scared in the car. A small part of you was debating whether or not you should have gone home, but you knew that it was the right decision to stay. To truly understand what’s been going on and what this is all about.

You try your best not to scream as the loud engine nearly bursts your eardrums.

“Chan… Chan, stop the car!” You scream, the need to vomit creeping up, even though you try to gulp it down.

“I can’t, (Y/N). I really can’t right now.” He says loudly over the engine.

“Please, Chan, just stop the car…!” You yell out again, and Chan finally glances at you, seeing your distressed look before his head snaps ahead again.

His hand swiftly reaches over to grip your thigh, as if trying to prove that you’re secure, “Calm down, (Y/N). You’ll be fine. We’re fine. I’m not stopping the car. Sorry, but I just can’t.”

“I should hate you for this, Chan!” You say, and you can see the way his knuckles turn white from gripping the wheel. “But I can’t… I just… Goddamn it, why!?”

“I can’t tell you that right now!” He yells back, looking over briefly before making a sharp turn, making you clutch onto the seat belt for protection, his hand now back over the buttons, “You just need to sit there until this is over, got it? I don’t care how scared you are, you’re gonna get through it like the strong woman you are, (Y/N), and I’m not taking no for an answer.”

You look over to Chan, and his lips are downturned, his brows furrowed and his eyes glossed over, as if he could cry right there.

“But why didn’t you just tell me?! We wouldn’t be like this right now if you just told me, Chan, and that’s the truth.” You yell over the engine, and Chan bitterly and breathily chuckles, shaking his head as an angry smile casts over his lips.

“You wouldn’t have stayed with me if I told you, (Y/N), you know that.” His voice is a little softer. If any softer, you wouldn’t have heard him. “You would’ve left me.”

Your mouth falls open, and you shake your head, “Never… Never! Never, ever, accuse me of that. I would never leave you even if you killed a man, Chan, and that’s the truth!” He doesn’t respond. He doesn’t even look at you as he turns another sharp corner, and you can see the other cars following behind, closing in. He sees it, too, and he presses some buttons you didn’t bother reading and slams his foot on the gas again. You let out a deep breath, still clutching the seat belt, “I just want to know why, Chan. Why are you resulting to this even though you have a stable job at the entertainment company, I-... I just want you to be honest with me.”

“I’ll tell you later, (Y/N). Just sit tight and keep your mouth shut. I need to focus or we’ll fucking crash, you got it!” He yells, and you flinch at his harsh tone. Finally keeping quiet.

The race seems like it lasts forever, when it was probably only five minutes. With sharp twists and turns and screeching of the engine in wheels, it feels like torture. You hate this, but there’s no backing out yet.

Chan doesn’t utter a word. Only cursing at the other cars when they do something that they weren’t supposed to do, or somehow start catching up to him. You let a few tears slip as you watch his hands and Chan as he focuses solely on the road. The lump in your throat is growing bigger and bigger, and swallowing it down seems to get more and more difficult.

But, it’s over at some point. You let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding and Chan finally slowed down after reaching a pathetic excuse of a finish line. Your trembling hands grip the hem of the hoodie you were wearing as Chan comes to a steady stop. People come cheering as the other three cars pull up behind, being careful not to bump into anyone from the crowd. You breath heavily, and look over to Chan, who rolls down his window, plastering a triumphant smile on his lips.

“I don’t even get why I race against you, mate. You always win. Just take the money and get outta here,” says one of the racers playfully, tossing Chan a briefcase through the window.

“Thanks man. Good race,” Chan says, “Now, I have business to attend to. If you’ll excuse me.”

He rolls up the window, and the man who handed Chan the briefcase smacks the window playfully as Chan rushes off, his smile instantly vanishing as he goes through backgrounds to try and get to a main road without drawing too much attention. Chan’s smile drops, and he hands you the briefcase.

“You want to know so badly? Open it and be careful. It’ll be hell to clean up if you drop it,” Chan grumbles, looking over as you look to him for reassurance. He only gives you a cocked brow as you look back to the case in your lap before unlocking it and opening it. Your jaw falls as you look at the thousands of bills stacked on top of each other, rubber bands holding equal stacks together, and you gawk at just how much money Chan won from one race.

After a minute of you staring at the money, Chan slams the case closed in your lap, locking it with one hand and tossing it in the backseat making you jump at how hasty he is.

You both sit there, Chan driving to god knows where in tense silence. You're holding your head in your hands as Chan shifted his gaze between you and the road.

It’s about fifteen minutes until you look up, surprised that he’s still driving and nowhere near home. It’s an emptier city, but Chan seems to know the area well.

“Chan, where are we?” You ask, but Chan gives no answer. Only driving a bit further before pulling into an alley between two old buildings. “Chan, I said -”

You were quickly by Chan yanking off his seatbelt and leaning over the center console to firmly grab your face and pull you into a rough kiss. It isn’t too rushed, but it’s not at all gentle. You’re caught by surprise at first, but couldn’t help melting into it. It’s almost instinct at this point to kiss him back, but you push him away after a moment. “What… What the fuck are you doing?”

“Kissing you,” Chan answers briefly before grabbing locks of your hair at the back of your head and pulling you into another kiss, his other hand creeping down to unbuckle your seatbelt, and you let it slam against the car as it flies off you.

“No, Chan… We need to talk,” You grumble out as you try to pull away, and he presses wet, sloppy kisses to the side of your mouth. His eyes are fluttered shut, and your’s are half lidded. You will admit, you love this. The kisses and how unnaturally aggressive Chan is being. But, you knew that you have to talk things out, or you’d never get to figure out how the hell things turned out like this, “Chan, I’m serious right now.”

“Then relax, baby,” Chan breathily whispers out, and your thighs squeeze together, “Let me make things up to you, okay? I’ll fuck you so good, baby.” He pulls away for a moment, and he stares at you with a teasing smirk, “Think of it as my apology, alright?”

“Chan, I’m… I’m - ah! Chan!” You gasp when Chan’s lips come in contact with the side of your neck. Your neck is already tilting to give him more room, despite trying pathetically to push him away. There’s no getting through to him anymore. You’ve passed the point of no return, and there’s not much you could get past him without slapping him again. And that didn’t seem like a very good idea to you. Your hand flies up to grip the back of his neck, the other loosely clutching the hem of his button up.

“You know that… ah… that we are going to talk about this at some point…” you groan out, and Chan only groans against your neck, sucking on the sensitive skin. “You can’t get out of it like this…”

“Shut it, (Y/N),” Chan snaps, and your head falls back. Chan leans his seat back, aggressively grabbing you by the thighs to pull you over and sit on top of him. Straddling his waist despite it being such a tight environment. He pulls you down by the hoodie, into another kiss. You could feel how frustrated Chan is by the way he grips you tightly, as if you’re going to magically vanish, and by how he talks to you.

It’s rushed, too. Chan is impossibly quick to pull up your hoodie, his hot, sweaty hands creeping up your warm back, caressing it with a different, quick sense of gentleness. His lips connect with yours once again. His tongue already pressing against your lips. The quick, sloppy kiss all too lust filled. The erotic sounds coming from the both of you almost making you gloss over the fact that you should still be very mad at Chan. But, you just can’t find the need to pull away from him. You need to let off the steam, too.

You flush your body firm against him, one hand on his chest and the other by his head, holding onto the head of the seat for support. Breathing as slowly as you can through your nose to savor the air Chan so selfishly takes from you from the heated kiss. Your thoughts begin to vanish and your worry and concern for Chan’s life choices begin to falter for the time being. So immersed in the heated kiss to forget about it entirely. All your focus is now on Chan. You can tell how stressed he is, and the loving part of you wants to help him let off that steam. But, now, you’re in the same boat. So, he’s going to have to do so much for you as you’ve been doing for him.

Chan’s hands don’t bother to hesitate before they loop underneath your jeans, not caring to unbutton them as he tries his best to pull them off by himself. Because of how restricted you both are because of the size of the car, you had to do it yourself. You parted from the kiss and pressed your head against his shoulder to unbutton your jeans and pull them down as quickly as you could before throwing them in the back (along with your shoes and socks. You can already see how hard Chan’s gotten as his rough hands massage and knead your ass, only covered by the thin, black cloth keeping you at least somewhat covered. But, if this was like any other time, they’d be gone quicker than you’d imagine.

Your hands fly up again once your pants are thrown to the back, resting on either side of Chan’s head as he grips your hips, grinding your womanhood against his clothed hardon (you’re also clothed, but it’s so wet from your juices that it basically attaches itself to your skin). His head throws itself back, his eyes closing and a pleasure filled smirk tugging at the corners of his lips. You press yourself against him, now propped up to be looming over him, sitting on him.

When you do press against him, his head snaps forward again, and his dark eyes glare up at you, “Don’t start getting proud, (Y/N). I’m gonna fucking break you.” His hand crawls up to grip your face in his hand. One of your hands weakly comes up to grip his wrist. His hand moving down to grip your throat, and your lips part blissfully as his fingers press into the sides of your neck, still allowing airflow through you. “Oh, fuck. You like being choked, huh? You like being choked like a slut don’t you?” You don’t answer, too nervous to and too caught up in the pleasure to actually let something other than a moan escape your lips.

“Talk to me, (Y/N). Use your fucking words,” Chan growls, and you swallow. The lump in your throat pressing painfully, yet blissfully against Chan’s hand.

“Fuck me, Chris. Fuck me…” You utter out his name, and Chan’s brow raises. But, he smirks nonetheless and lets go of your neck, and you let out a breath as he undoes his jeans and pulls them down to his feet. His hand palming his clothed cock briefly before pulling it out. His hard dick already leaking with precum.

“Condom…” You mutter, and Chan shakes his head. You look up to him with worry.

“Trust me, baby,” he mutters, and you sigh, leaning against him, pressing your body against his as Chan moves your panties out of the way before he aligns your throbbing cunt with his dick, and slowly pushing himself into you, raw. As his raw cock slowly becomes engulfed by your heat, Chan lets out low groans. Your face nuzzles into the side of his neck as Chan slowly guides you down until you’re sitting on his cock.

At first, he stays there like that. Not moving. You suspect it’s because the sane part of him wants you to get used to the feeling of his cock so deep in you without a condom, but Chan seems to keep you there for a few moments just for the sake of how good it feels without a condom. The way his head is leaned back, his lips slightly ajar and his eyes fluttered shut.

But, it doesn’t last long before Chan’s strong arms wrap around your waist, holding you up and starts ramming into you. His hips move so quickly, yet so efficiently as he burns your wet walls. You erupt in a series of loud moans, mixtures of Chan’s name and curses spilling out, too. Chan groans sometimes, right next to your ear. The sound of skin slapping against the fabric of Chan’s boxers echoing through the air tight car.

Your pussy burns from how fast Chan thrusts into you, keeping you at a steady position so he could have an easier time ramming himself into you without the difficulty of it being such a confined and restrictive place in the car (especially in the driver’s seat). The burn is so good for you, though. It’s such a numbing, euphoric feeling that you’ll crave later. A type of burn you could never provide yourself, only Chan.

Chan’s hands go from gripping your body to sliding up your side to gripping your hair and yanking your head back so he could look at you. A judgemental, sexy smirk adorning his lips as he sees how fucked out you are. Your mouth open as you moan, and your half lidded eyes occasionally closing from the bliss.

“Fucking hell… you’re so good for me, (Y/N). You take my cock so fucking well, don’t you?” You let out a choked moan as Chan’s hand grips harder on your hair, craning your neck. “Mmm… Baby girl can’t even talk to me… I know I said to shut it…” he laughs darkly through his moans, and your moans get louder when Chan lets go of your hair, letting your face fall back onto his shoulder as his hands grip your ass. Kneading them as he fucks himself into you. You clench helplessly around his cock.

“Oh… fuck, you’re gonna cum, aren’t you? You wanna cum around my cock, baby girl?” You nod frantically, your climax climbing up as you push your body back to meet with Chan’s aggressive thrusts. Your overstimulated cunt only being destroyed by Chan’s cock as he thrusts harder into you, his hips staggering slightly as you clench around him. “Mmm! - Cum for me, baby. Cum for me.” Chan growls out as his hand grips your face again, forcing your head up as your eyes roll into the back of your head, a loud string of moans escaping your lips as you cum all over Chan’s cock, and he pulls out just quick enough to spurt out a string of cum along your ass.

He lets go of your face, and you breath heavily as you rest your head on Chan’s chest, closing your eyes to catch your breath. A burning sensation still resting in your core as you relax, your womanhood’s muscles contracting every now and then from the orgasm.

Chan cleans you both up with a napkin he had in the center console and helped you put your jeans back on (deciding to toss your soiled panties) and he slipped his jeans back on silently. It’s not until you’re sitting on his lap, resting your head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat when he speaks.

“You know I love you so much, right?” Chan mumbles out, and you look up to him. “I was so mean to you today… when you must’ve been so confused.” His head falls back, and he looks out the window with a longing look in his eyes, “I’m the worst boyfriend in the world, aren’t I?”

“No, you’re not. Don’t even think things like that. Yes, I am still a bit upset, but you know what? We’re going to get past this because I love you, too, Channie.” You stare at him with an adoring expression adorning your sparkling eyes (trying to ignore the burning in your core).

“You… You want to know the real reason I’m a street racer, (Y/N)? Why the fuck I'm doing this?” Chan asks softly, his hand stroking your hair.

“If you could… I’ve been asking all day,” you chuckle softly, and Chan smiles bitterly.

“Well… I… I’m doing this all for you.”

“What do you mean?”

“No job will pay for the things I want to give you, (Y/N).” He turns over, reaching into the center console to pull out a black box, and your eyes widen as he opens it. You can’t see it, but you can barely see the sparkle of a something reflective. “I… I couldn’t pay for this myself. I knew I couldn’t. I hate how this is how I’m asking you… but, (Y/N), will you-”

“Oh my god, yes!”

[eclvpses]

Though he hadn’t had much of a chance to think it over thus far, Leo regularly had to pontificate over where they’d gone wrong in his relationship with Stuart. One day they’d been smoking a joint in the back of the van Leo’d borrowed from Steve, and then next they were blocked. Honest to God blocked - which Leo wasn’t immune to or anything, it happened to them just as much as the next person. More, if he was being realistic. But the timing and sudden change in their relationship had been what stunned Leo. Either Stuart had been too frantic while blocking their number that he hadn’t thought to do the same with their socials or he wanted Leo to reach out just to have the gratification of capturing Leo’s attention before cutting off the rest of their communication, but either way, Leo had gotten the message. They used to check and see if they were finally let out of jail, whittling the situation down to a mere joke, but then a week had passed by, and then a month. As far as Leo knew, he was still shunned, and Stuart’s sudden snarkiness made it clear it was intentional - and then some.

Are you fucking serious right now? What a loaded question. All Leo could do in response to that was blink daftly - if they were in a cheesy cartoon, each blink would be followed by a plucky ping that would reverberate through the whole room. They knew they weren’t a genius by any stretch of the imagination, but this was starting to feel a bit targeted. Drinks arriving mid rant, Leo continued to hold eye contact while picking theirs up, tongue slowly pushing past their lips in an attempt to reel the straw into their mouth. They weren’t nearly drunk enough for whatever fight Stuart was apparently trying to have, words growing in volume like a pressure cooker finally steaming over. “Y’know, Stuart,” Leo finally said, giving them a placating and frankly condescending look - there was pity mixed in, like they could only assume Stuart was having some sort of stress related breakdown and taking it out on Leo, “I say this because I care. But you are absolutely no fuckin’ fun anymore. Jesus Christ! Like, I have no idea what’s got your panties in such a twist, but have you tried, I don’t know. Relaxing? Getting laid? Drink more, it’s good for you.” Awful advice, but it was followed by a push of Stuart’s drink closer to him. “I’m not exactly married to this girl, if you wanted to talk to her or something I’m not gonna stop you.” Because that’s what was wrong - not Leo’s terrible outlook of this date.

“Do you think?” Stuart was openly mocking Leo. It would’ve been obvious to the world’s most dense person that Stuart was loudly and aggressively poking fun - in the most brutal way possible - of Leo’s incapability to read the room. But they viewed this as a talent of theirs, only encouraging them further when they turned to Stuart with a hopeful glint in their eyes. “Fuck, that’d make my life a lot fuckin’ easier if she was. I don’t actually know how to fake an epileptic seizure -.” As if her ears were ringing and she could tell they were discussing her, Leo felt a sudden tug at his shirt sleeve by the elbow followed by a put out "Hey!" They weren’t exactly proud of the squawk they produced, whirling around to stare at her, wide eyed and caught. “Everything okay? I’ve been waiting for you for, like… ever.” Given Stuart’s current frustration towards Leo, the best thing would’ve been if they fucked off and just carried on with the date, boring or not. But they were just lamenting about how Stuart wasn’t fun anymore, so that option would’ve been frankly hypocritical of them. “Hi, yes - apologies. You see, I’ve just… reunited with an old lover.” Looping an arm around Stuart’s waist, Leo tugged him into their side, all but forcing him into the narrative that he seemed to hate enough to get upset with Leo over. “It was very hot and heavy between us before his papa -,” said like puh-paw, as if they were some English Victorian child, “- made it clear his sinful ways were for the devil only. But we’ve only just seen each other again for the first time in months and it’s become clear our hearts still yearns for each other. You understand, right?” Understandably lost, Leo pinched Stuart’s side when their date gave him a glance, raising her brows as if to ask 'Is this guy for real?'

It was a shame, the way Stuart and Leo’s friendship had taken a turn for the worse. They had a lot in common: their free-spirited thinking, lack of ability to read the room, and slightly dubious morals—but there were differences in the latter, too, as it was apparent in Stuart’s newfound cold attitude towards Leo. It wasn’t that forgiveness was a foreign concept to him; his brain was simply wired to hold grudges until the end of time. There was no letting go of them either. They would simply stay dormant for the time being until someone wronged him again, unleashing them tenfold, and Leo was most definitely not helping their case right now. “You smell like conversion therapy. Thanks! I don’t like men anymore.” Which couldn’t have been further from the truth and they both knew it. Even though their relationship had been strictly platonic, Stuart’s attraction to Leo was almost glaringly obvious since the very beginning. They were charming, that much was impossible to deny, and fun. He liked people who were unapologetic about themselves, people who were unpredictable and interesting, people that didn’t live by somebody else’s rules. But there was also that dangerously thin line between them and those who didn’t seem to take others’ feelings into consideration, and Leo had crossed it by sleeping with someone he had feelings for. Yet, it was somehow more upsetting that they hadn’t fessed up to it or acknowledged how it could’ve hurt him, and his own grudge had skewed his perception of Leo into one of a heinous beast.

Though he’d been staring blankly at the bottles behind the bar for the majority of the conversation, Stuart was quick to turn and face Leo following their comment about Gabe, and scoffed in disbelief. “Are you actually, like, fucking serious right now?” He wasn’t sure if Leo had genuinely forgotten the number of socks on their doorknob whenever they’d come over to pregame, not that he felt the need to defend his relationship with Gabe, or if they were taunting him on purpose. Either way, their attitude was starting to piss him off all over again. “Do you think the entire fucking world revolves around you? You think this girl you can’t even bother learning the name of has latched onto your cock so hard that she won’t be able to let go without you acting like a drama queen? Dude, she’s probably texting her friend right now to fake an emergency.” Stuart whipped an imaginary phone out, twiddling his thumbs on it as if he were texting. “S-O-S, bestie! They look like they just came off a four-night bender and I have yet to say anything but my name that he already forgot. Feral with lust, my ass.” Stuart took pride in the fact that it wasn’t all that easy to tick him off, but once he was on that roller-coaster ride, getting him off of it was like trying to wrestle a baby’s hand off your thumb. Nearly impossible. “Fuck you, Leo. Seriously.”

[fanonical]

I've been wanting to make this post for a while.

So I got into fanfiction in a kinda weird way (my first fandom was Cats the Musical, fun fact) and the way that manifested was through badfic communities. At first it was on Livejournal, with people dedicated to posting and making fun of bad fanfiction, but then it spread into this group that did the same thing. I won't name them, but I read a lot of their stuff and even briefly joined them back in the day. Their whole thing was a fictional agency dedicated to finding and destroying bad fanfiction and specifically 'Mary-Sues' - they'd post links to a fic judged to be bad, someone would claim it, and then write about their OCs (agents of this organisation) going in to destroy it, and mock it along the way.

I was about thirteen when I found and joined this group, and at the time, I had this big thing about being 'intelligent'. I'd always type with correct spelling and punctuation, I'd pepper in references to stuff that'd make me look smart, I had this conception that I was inherently just a better writer than most people because I used more caps lock. You don't need to tell me that was insufferably pretentious, I know. I was thirteen! To be honest, over a decade later, this sort of overachieving mindset is something I still struggle with. Anyway, the fanfic I was actually writing at that age, while not The Worst Thing Ever, was actually just pretty standard for someone my age at the time. But back then, I thought I was practically God's gift to fandom.

So I joined this group, because of course I did, I was better than everyone else. And I passed their test of how well you can write. I was all geared up to start posting these little hateful stories, ripping apart other people's work, and then...

Someone did it to me.

Oh, not from that community, and not even that bad in retrospect, but I posted something I was proud of and got a few mocking reviews from people. Looking back at the fic in question, it was bad, I'm not gonna deny that. Out of character, emotionally all over the place, not good. But that really made me think about this thing I wanted to do, this community I wanted to be a part of.

I'd justified the behaviour of this community to myself by thinking that it was, ultimately, to help people write better. To point out the flaws in their current writing, and help lead them towards improving. But that wasn't what we were doing. We were making fun of people behind their backs, calling them stupid, calling them bad writers, calling them a poison on fandom or whatever hyperbolic insults were in vogue back then. So I stopped. I stopped reading their stuff, I stopped being in that community. To be honest, I hadn't been a part of it for long enough to anyone to notice, but still. I couldn't justify this kind of bullying any more.

And...I suppose the point of me telling this story now is that I see a lot of that behaviour still around in fandom. I'm not gonna claim to be all Wise and Old now, I'm in my fucking twenties, but that experience is always something I go back to when I see people acting like all stories - especially those written for fun, by inexperienced authors - need to be free of any flaws or they're the worst thing to happen to the world ever.

(Note: if someone's posting fics that are bigoted and questionable in any way that has a real-life impact, like racism or homophobia or similar, that is not what I'm talking about here. The flaws I mean here are poor spelling and grammar, or characterisation, or plotting, that sort of thing, not bigotry.)

We're all doing this for fun. Let people learn, let people grow. If you want to give critical feedback, make sure the author actually wants feedback of that sort. Some people just post fic because they want to get an idea out there, they aren't really writers, and that's fine! Some of my favourite fics have had huge, obvious flaws, but I wouldn't trade them for anything else because I fell in love with their characterisation, or their dialogue, or their creativity - something about them that shines through.

And if you're cyberbullying someone because they wrote a self-insert into a fanfic? Go fuck yourself, honestly. Get some perspective. It's fun, and that's all it needs to be. Cringe is dead. Long live having fun.

[delicrieux]

☆ﾐ 𝚖𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚜𝚊𝚢 “𝚘𝚑”

PART 10: BIG DICK IS BACK IN TOWN

y/n is back in brooklyn for the holidays. thinking that a stream will make her feel less homesick for cali, she starts working on her famously titled hentai.free.srv. what was supposed to be a relaxing stream turns into a special delivery about two hours in.

─── corpse husband x reader ─── soc. media + written fiction! ─── word count: 2.2k ─── ❥ req: Here's one... You know those apps for delivery like Domino's or whatnot... What if reader is streaming Among Us with Corpse, and reader mentions they're hungry and Corpse offers to order them food, and readers like no no it's fine... Then there's delivery at the door (Corpse ordered beforehand) 

author’s note: fucky format is also back in town baby!!! also if you find any mistakes - no u didnt <3 thank u everyone for enjoying this story sm i literally cant believe how feral yall going strawberry cow was a nuclear explosion im still recovering tbh. got an ask a while ago and decided to incorporate it into myso. happy holidays everyone! myso will continue on monday!

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Indeed, being soft on any social media platform was the biggest disgrace and needed to be eliminated post haste. Moreover, it was a slippery slope - once you start flooding your timeline with cute imagery and heart emojis, what will stop you from posting inspirational Facebook quotes? Disgusting. If Rae were here, she would chide you (not you thinking about her as if she’s dead or something). For once in your life, you feel like you deserve it. 

Alas, you hope this little chaos you’ve caused is enough to throw everyone off. The stans, especially. You know the hashtags, you’ve seen ARMY scourging for info online with the same fervor and ruthlessness 1 Direction fans hacked airport security cameras just to spy on the boys. If you had any dirty secrets online, they are out to the public now - thankfully, besides the Harry Styles stan account (with edits and all), you have nothing. Though, now that you think about it, exposed nudes would have been better than your Punk!Harry edit receiving almost a million views. God, your life’s a fucking mess.

Your fans aren’t the only ones out for info - you, too, are trying to decipher Rae’s message. Code: Barbecue Sauce. The two of you had come up with it roughly two years ago, around the same time when you promised that if you didn’t find significant others by the time you’re 40, you’ll just marry each other. It was one of the many rules found in your friendship codex. Barbecue Sauce signifies information - an exchange of information. And depending on how it ends or begins (”So I’m sitting there” alludes to Rae, “On my titties” alludes to you), secret data on that person is given away, usually free of charge. 

But why? And to whom did Rae give away what? You had pestered her mercilessly and even sent some voice messages where you were crying. You were only crying because of a video of a grandpa smiling you saw on TikTok, but you are a snake, and so you put those tears to good use. If streaming doesn’t work out, you’ll just become an actress. Hollywood would love you. Your PR firm sure as fuck wouldn’t, though.

Rae was having none of it. She said you’ll figure it out eventually. Told you to channel your superior puzzle skills. You were quick to remind her that you can barely count to ten without having an aneurysm. Oddly serious, she admitted that she worries for you sometimes. Why only sometimes?! you demanded. She merely sighed. uttering under her breath something that sounded closely to “Boke.”

You leave her for barely a week and she’s already neck deep in the gay volleyball anime, hoodie and cardboard cutout and everything. Your life is falling apart.

But Brooklyn is nice. It had snowed when you stepped off of the plane. Thousands of snowflakes sprinkling into your hair, dotting your cheeks and nose. You missed this sight back in Cali. You missed your parents, too. 

Home cooked meals, old sweaters, your old room and about 40GB worth of old high school pictures on your computer. You went through them all one night. Some were stomach churning, cringe inducing nightmares. You were especially fond of those. Texted some of your friends that were still in Brooklyn, met up, decided to bake. Bad idea, Rae was the resident chef back in Cali. Besides laughing till your stomach hurt, and almost burning down your kitchen, nothing all that significant happened. Somewhere down the line, at about 3 am, half-way through a cheesy rom-com you had the overwhelming urge to text Corpse.

That’s where the problems really started. God, you missed California, missed being in the same timezone with a guy you hadn’t even met yet, how embarrassing is that?! You missed skating around and taking pictures of the beach in the setting sun, sending it to him, silently wishing he was with you to admire the view. 

You really want to call him. And to hang out with him. But for some reason, the thought of that springs up immediate anxiety and you shy away from asking. Him sending you cute good morning texts doesn’t help, either. Maybe it’s better he doesn’t know that you’re a blushing, stuttering mess each time you read “baby”. 

Late evening. Your stream is already set up, people are slowly trickling in and you greet them with a grin and a soft “Hello! Hi hi!”. You did your best to make your room a perfectly chaotic backdrop - led lights, an embarrassing amount of anime merch and plushies. You always try to balance out your weeb side by dressing hot as fuck for your streams - today’s inspiration just so happens to be egirls. Mostly because you watched one too many egirl make-up tutorials on TikTok, and also because you’ve been listening to Corpse’s song all day.

Yeah, no, who are you kidding, you dressed up this way because you were hoping Corpse was watching your stream. You didn’t forget your cat headphones, either. You know he likes them. You want to make him suffer. Perhaps then, finally, he will ask you out, so you wouldn’t have to.

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“I feel like,” You start when you put away your phone, staring idly at the chat, “I feel like I need a new name for you guys. Calling you guys after two years of streaming is just... weird, no? I also don’t respect men so I don’t want to call you guys. Like, so many creator’s have, like, a name for their fans. Uhm, Cody Ko has the chodesters, Kurtis Conner has, uh, folks? Kurtis Town? Citizens! Markiplier has mommy issues--” You can’t help snorting, “So, I’ve been, like, thinking - I know, shocking! - so I was thinking I’m gonna name you cockroaches. Because you’re grimy little shits impossible to kill. And also then I can use the legendary Minaj meme ROACHES!”

Your stream enthusiastically echoes ROACHES, making the chat swim. Yes, if anyone would enjoy such a name, it would be your audience. You’re as equally proud as you are disturbed.

“Well, anyway.” Leaning back into your chair, you throw your arms out with a bright grin, “Big dick is back in town, baby! If you noticed the backdrops different, it’s cuz I’m in Brooklyn now. Don’t ask me when I will return to Always Sunny, I don’t plan that far ahead.”

While Minecraft boots up, you decide to answer a few questions.

r u dating sykkuno?

You want to smack your head into the keyboard, but as it is, you can’t exactly afford a new one, so you refrain, “No, Sykkuno and I are not dating, we are just good friends. Uhm, I’m not sure how much I’ll have to repeat this, but, we really aren’t, so if the roaches could chill - Oh my God, that sounds so stupid, I love it - uh, yeah, if the roaches could chill that’d be great.”

the roaches lmao sounds like we’re a sports team

“Oh shit, yeah it does, uh-- maybe I can make like, jerseys or something. That’d be cool, I think.”

how disappointed are your parents with the way your life turned out?

“My parents are actually not disappointed at all!” You say with a cute little smile, “Uhm, they’re both really proud, actually. They’re glad I found something I love doing and made a job outta it. Dad finds my Youtube videos endearing. Yes, they watch pretty much all of my videos, unless I explicitly tell them not to. And yeah, with all the fucks and thirsting for anime characters. Uhm, it was very embarrassing at first, but I mean, after a while, shame just...doesn’t exist anymore, I guess? Funny thing about my parents, actually, when they watch my videos-” You eye catches a comment, “Oh! No, they only watch my Youtube videos. They don’t know how to use Twitter, thank God. Uhm, anyway-- when they hear a name they don’t know, like, I dunno, Dabi, or something, they google--” You’re grinning by now, eyes crinkling, giggling softly, “--who that is, and buy me like, merch and stuff. It’s really cute. 

can i be adopted by ur parents plz

will you and corpse ever collab?!

You were about to answer, though the man of the hour himself decides to do it for you.

Corpse_Husband: yes.

Okay, not to say your heart skipped a beat, but it totally did. With a pleased smile, you nod, like one of those bobble head toys sold at the dollar store. The motion is oddly reminiscent of Sykkuno’s own nod. Perhaps you had picked it up from him. The chat seems to notice.

pack it up, sykkuno

More questions pile about this mysterious collab you and Corpse are planning. Yeah, you’d like to hear more about it, too, since he single highhandedly decided one was happening right now. Corpse remains silent. Fine, keep your secrets. 

“Okay, guys, oh, I mean, roaches, Oh my God--” You’re covering your mouth, giggling, “-calling all roaches, calling all roaches, calm down. Everyone grab a snack and a blanket I’m turning up the music volume so we can all chill. Entering chill zone. Entering chill zone. Roaches, prepare.”

we are prepared

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An hour or so passes and you grow hungry. It shows with the amount of cakes you had baked in your server. Currently, you find yourself throwing eggs at the wall of one of the renovated houses, your face scrunched in concentration and slight frustration. 24 of the 50 eggs have been wasted. “What’s a girl gotta do to get some chicks around here?” you had uttered under your breath, until, finally, a screech - the egg finally spawns a mob. Your mouth falls open, “Aww, look!” You approach it, so small, walking in zigzags beside you, “It’s a baby chicken! Die, bitch.” The baby chicken is no more as you swing your bedazzled (you have mods) diamond sword. You’re cackling by the time the dust settles.

y/n is a child murderer

“Roaches,” You address your fan-base, spurring another fit of laughter - you can’t get over the name, “I think I’m like, forgetting that eating in Minecraft won’t actually make less hungry in real life.”

take a break and go eat queen <3

“Fuck no, we starve and die like men. Now I actually really need another chicken.”

Another twenty minutes trickle by and you’re trying to lure back a panda from the jungle when there’s a knock on your bedroom’s door. Whipping your head to the side, you slide down your headphones. At the same time, your mom pokes her head through the ajar door, “MOM!” You scream, “Get OUT of my room I’m playing Minecraft!” But your yell has no actual bite to it, as you don’t manage to hide your smile. Your mom laughs, doing some sort of sign language and motioning for you to follow her with her head. That or it’s some sort of performative dance. 

“I’m live right now,” You tell her, pointing at your screen. She knows this already, though, “do you want to say hi?” 

The roaches spam the chat with friendly hellos. You mom, quite impatient now, waves you over. 

“Sorry, roaches, mom needs something. Be back in a bit!”

Stopping the stream, you rush out of your seat and pleased she slinks into the hallway. “What’s this about?”

“Your pizza came.”

“My what now?” You echo, confused.

“Domino’s. You ordered pizza?”

“What? No? I was busy with the stream, I never--”

Thankfully, you had managed to grab your phone from your room before you exited. You almost choke on spit once you read the messages.

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You decide that it’ll be impossible to stream after experiencing what you had just experienced. You tweet out a quick apology to the roaches (God, that fucking name) and say that you had a breakdown but you’re okay. That is as a close to the truth as you managed to muster. It’s a sad sight, chewing and crying; your mom winced when she saw your state - disheveled hair and rundown eyeliner and everything. “D’aww,” She had muttered, caressing the top of your head, “don’t cry my little raccoon.”

If anyone was ever to ask you where did your chaotic nature come from, you’d answer with my mom. To make yourself feel better, you took a selfie - duck face and peace sign and the horrible 2000′s angle. Sent it to Rae. 

looking hot, her message read. 

thanks, was all you replied with.

You couldn’t just leave things as they were. Once you calmed down, you wanted to text Corpse, but how would you follow up the ungodly caps lock and screeching? Impossible. An idea sprung to mind, one that was brave. Taking the first step.

Instead of sending a text, you sent a voice memo.

“Thank you for the pizza, it was delicious.”

You voice still sounded a bit raspy. His reply was instant. Your heart skipped a beat. He sent a voice memo back.

“Glad you liked it, baby.”

He was going to be the death of you.

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tags (in italics is those i couldn’t tag! make sure all’s ok w your settings!) : @littlebabysandboxburritos - @fairywriter-oracle - @tsukishimawh0re - @ofstarsanddreams - @bbecc-a - @annshit - @leahh19 - @letsloveimagines - @bellomi-clarke - @wineandionysus - @guiltydols - @onephootinfrontoftheother - @liamakorn - @thirstyfangirl - @lilysdaydreams - @pan-ini - @mxqicshxp - @tanchosanke - @yoshinorecommends - @flightsandfantasy - @liljennyx3 - @slashersdream - @unknown-and-invisible - @sinister-sleep - @fivedicksinatrenchcoat - @mercury–moon - @peterparkerspjsuit - @unstableye - @simonsbluee - @shinyshimaagain - @ppopty - @siriuslystupid - @crapimahuman - @ofthedewthesunlight - @mythicalamphitrite - @artsyally - @corpsesimpp - @corpsewhitetee - @corpse-husbandsimp - @hyp-oh-critical - @roses-and-grasses - @rhyrhy462 - @sparklylandflaplawyer - @charbkgo - @airwaveee - @creativedogs - @kaitlyn2907 - @loxbbg - @afuckingunicornn - @fleurmoon - @yeolliedokai - @truly-dionysus - @multi-fandom-central707

more tags are in the comments bcs tumblr only allows me to tag 50 people max 💙