#i know some people prefer how mean and pointless it is but i'm just glad i got what i wanted on t2

[marypickfords]

What do you enjoy about the Terrifier series?

the first movie was just meh to me but the second is a proper slasher film in a way that manyyyyyy of the so called revivals of the past few years try but never come close. before watching it i just figured it was a splatter film and was happy that one was playing in theaters but nothing caught my attention really. but i'm glad i watched them back to back and got to enjoy the second one. it understands so much abt a slasher film while still keeping the oldschool splatter set pieces. it understands that a horror movie needs characters and needs space for them to be, you know, people. it understand that the hangout aspect of a slasher is KEY. that tension is needed but that it doesnt mean that you can only have an explosion of blood in the last 20 minutes. i was sold by the dream sequence at the start. there's bits of rob zombies halloween 2, nightmare on elm street, even the prowler in it but it's its own thing and it feels so genuine and that it had actual human beings behind it. that's all i want in a horror movie these days lol. the mother alone, there's so much in there that in someone else's hands would just feel hollow, a pastiche, but to me she was so real. idk. to some it was an attempt at fixing past mistakes but to me it all felt incredibly sincere. a v generous movie. glad it wasn't glossy bullshit. i had fun! will be seeing art at the theater in november!

[xamag-draws]

BBR thoughts 2024

Since I mentioned that I finally dusted off an old project of mine and was ruminating on how I'd remake it, I thought I'd elaborate a little, now that I've solidified some concepts. For funsies

This is gonna be a bit of a long and unfocused one, but I don't share my personal thoughts here often, especially the stuff about my projects I always marinate in. And for once it's something that people have existing context for, so hey why not

So for anyone who hasn't been following me for a gajillion years, The Black Brick Road of OZ was a webcomic that I posted around 2013-2015, back when I was in highschool going on college (which is kinda crazy to think about). It was sort of a darker twist on The Wonderful Wizard of Oz, although I definitely leaned a lot more into dark humor more than anything in those first few chapters

I don't think it's available to read anywhere anymore, and I know people have been asking me about it. So here's the full proper archive of BBR, as full as it can be with deceased Flash

I totally used it as an excuse to shamelessly and self-indulgently experiment. It had interactive pages and GIFs and was wayyy too overproduced for what I could handle or what was necessary, but I did have great fun making it while it lasted

Unfortunately, that excess and the fact that I've changed too much as a person by the time I was in college is what ultimately killed it. The direction I wanted to go in was practically unrecognizable from the original idea started back in 2011, so there were many old hold-ups that I felt ruined it

At the time I kinda wished I could start/rewrite it all over, but considering that I pretty much had the entire script done at that point, it felt like a pointless sisyphean task. So I just put it on a shelf and didn't look back for about 8 years, because I didn't know what else to do

Now to be fair, the nature of my art has always been iterative and cyclical; when I feel like my creative juices have run dry I prefer to leave a project to marinate and move on to something else; cycle through other old things and bring in new skills and perspectives into the mix when I'm ready again. Not very productive, but it is what makes me happy to work on my OCs; I'm doomed to hit a wall with them eventually and I need some time to be able to find a new direction

So that said, I'm glad that BBR was left to marinate for that long. I don't think I was prepared, emotionally or intellectually, to tackle it again until now. The Wizard of Oz book (and the entire series of them, really) has always been near and dear to my heart, but there's a lot of context around it that I'm only unpacking now that I'm older

I think I always inherently feel negatively about the stuff I've made in the past, like its faults always jump out to me more than the positives, especially the more time passes. I've never liked that, and I do really appreciate the kind things people have to say about BBR to this day. The fact that it still can be recognized and remembered is very sweet

When I left it, I already found it "kinda cringe", and that feeling only deepened with years. When I took my first look back at it, asking the question "how would I rewrite it now?", at first I took a very cynical approach, as in "everything would have to be torn down"

But the more I sat on it, the more I found that I still see some merit and charm in the ideas I was putting out; I just didn't know how to execute them at the time (not to pretend that I know what I'm doing now, but I certainly know more at least). Turns out a lot of my old concepts could be changed substantially with just a few small tweaks. So I'd say that's a nicer way to think about my previous work

If you haven't seen yet, I posted a first draft of my new designs for some of the characters (the main group, the Goods and the Wickeds). Definitely subject to change, but more or less how I see them now

I'm just playing with these concepts; by no means would I attempt to remake BBR right this moment. Call it a pipe dream among my other ones. But just for fun, this is the direction I'd like to take:

Nowadays I'd probably make it a visual novel, with more emphasis on the visual part than the novel because I'm no English prose writer by any means. It'd still let me play a little with the interactivity while helping cut some corners on the drawing part (only some, I imagine I'd go hog wild anyway)

I've always intended for some events inspired by the sequel books to take place in BBR's past. Stuff like Jinjur's revolt or Ozma's rule preceeds the main events here. So I think it would be fun to follow the past of a few key characters alongside the main story. One chapter focusing on the present quest to see the Wizard, then one focusing on the past events (that are maybe reflective thematically); rinse and repeat

I'm also sticking a little closer to the original text in some regards. Not everything that I enjoy from the books would be translated here, it's still just a very loose fantasy on the material; but I'd like to be closer in spirit at least

I like mature, wise and powerful Glinda, I like kind and vulnerable Tin Man, I like the Wizard being a pathetic yet loveable liar, so I'm sprinkling in more of that for example

I'd like to keep some whimsy, but make it more grounded and a bit more serious to be coherent in tone. I think the original TWWOOZ book was a more realistic fantasy in some ways, even for the standards of the time; I like its simple but vivid tactile descriptions and details like bringing attention that Dorothy needed to eat and sleep

I find it funny that Baum specifically was averse to making his books scary or unpleasant, finding that unnecessary for telling a compelling kids story, but they still can get pretty dark and disturbing, at least for our modern sensibilities. Let's just say that I intend to use the Evoldo and Chopfyt storylines for my purposes. In that way, I feel like a "darker" Wizard of Oz retelling can still mostly be tonally in line with the original and balance it with enough heart and occasional humor

I slowly grew to appreciate the quaint old-timey quality of the original series, as well. The first book is both timeless and very much a product of the 1900s. Originally I tried to give it a little modern or at least anachronistic spin, but it was moreso because it's what I knew best, so these days I'd rather intentionally lean into the time period. Still not fully historically accurate by any means, but at least directly acknowledging the influence

The events of the story span across 40 years of these characters' lives, so I'm drawing inspiration from the entire so-called La Belle Epoque: the time period around 1880s-1920s. Basically I'm cooking, and my soup is old Victorian fashion morphing into Edwardian fashion and slowly inching towards flappers

Some new Dolly outfits

Lots of crazy things, political changes and innovations were happening at the turn of the century, which I think is noted and reflected by Baum in the books as well; the character of Tik-Tok might not blow any minds now, but he was one of the first robot characters in literature at that point; and don't even get me started on Jinjur, etc. Plenty of really interesting stuff one could lightly ponder in an Oz adaptation these days

Aesthetically, art nouveau has always been a big artistic influence for me, and it'd definitely be its time to shine here. John R. Neill's illustrations of the Oz books often keep me company as well. Nouveau architecture in particular fits that fairytale whimsy extremely well imo

I'd allow myself a little bit of art deco here and there, but ultimately its intimidating geometrical splendor is an antithetical to the flowery nature of nouveau and I associate it with a completely different era. Definitely fitting some characters like my Wicked Witch of the West, but shouldn't be overused

One of my main problems with the original BBR was that eventually I lost track of what it was even about; and the original ending felt too mean and unfulfilling to be worth it. Now I'd like to stick to the theme of home and family as my main theme, but in a different, more bittersweet way than in the book

An interesting connection I made is that a lot of my aforementioned older key characters (the Witches, Jinjur, the Nome King, etc) all came from the same reformatory as kids, that's how they know each other. In my recent research I learned that in those reformatories it was usually frowned upon to release the children back to the families, which were seen as the original corrupting influence regardless of the circumstance. The reformatory did everything in its power to cut that connection and make itself the only family those wayward kids were supposed to know and love. That's an unexpected tie into the theme of home that I'd like to explore as well

So yeah that's the current state of it. I have a bunch of outfit concepts I'm slowly cooking, although I'm now sure whether I'd post them... But I do miss these funny guys, and I'm glad some people still do as well :)

[lilycals115]

//rant

god im such a fucking cow. i hate being the size i am in american society. im not fat enough to be able to call myself fat without getting shit for it, but im not skinny enough to not be criticized about how much i eat. don't get me wrong, im glad im not bigger bc i would not be as mentally stable as i am rn but its so hard not being able to talk irl with anyone about hating my body and hating how food and my weight dictate everything in my life. im friends with stick thin woke "body positive" activists who all eat an almond a day and all have these dietary restrictions or preferences that TOTALLY aren't just excuses for their own disordered eating. but i cant even say "its not fair" because it doesnt even matter. thats the way life works, yet i still keep making the choice to gorge myself everyday and never make any progress. ive been losing and gaining the same 3 pounds since fucking september. and i do it to myself, there's no one i can blame. i feel so fucking pointless in being angry at how my skinny friends are allowed to eat like freaks with no repercussions because the reason thats fine is because theyre skinny and im fat. skinny people can just get away with more shit than farm animals like me. i'm surprised ive held a boyfriend for this long. im surprised he doesn't go limp at the sight of his blimp of a girlfriend. and if he's not turned off by the size of me, he should definitely reconsider dating me because of how much of an asshole i've turned into since befriending ana.

thats another thing: im so goddamn mean now. i used to be so sweet. fat people are jolly i guess. i used to not bat an eye at ppl who were overweight but now my first thoughts are just spiteful and bitter. i get really upset when i find myself thinking like this because i Know that my mindset for myself should never be applied to other people who i know nothing about. but im constantly involving other people into my eating disorder silently in my head. i compare how skinny or fat my friends are with myself and with each other. they'll think im just staring off into space when im just body checking all of them and i get these moments when i just feel like scum for involving people who never asked to be my thinspo or fatspo.

i have no point to this. im just so frustrated with myself and i need to eat so much less. i ate so much soup at my work today, my dad made me try some of his chili, i had a starbucks cake pop, and i had leftover pasta. i didnt feel my stomach growl at all today. i was never hungry, i just shoved shit in my face.

[finely-tuned-line]

RP:

FTL: I did actually end up talking to Doubt's Dichotomy, and just as I thought, sol did have some interesting information about duels. I could repeat it all to you if you so wish, but I am also quite sure that all of my transmissions, whether they're private or not, are getting broadcast out unencrypted. So you could just look through my transmissions, I'm sure you'll find the conversation somewhere. I don't mind either.

FTL: Interesting... He does sound like a good person, I suppose. Where does he get the fabric from? Surely he'd have run out by now. Does he know someone who manufactures textiles? I have heard of an Iterator that does so, but I doubt that she knows him. Either way, fashion is not something that I pay much mind to, especially considering that I have an abysmal amount of need for it. But I suppose it's an... interesting thing to pursue?

FTL: Ah... Thank you. But yes, as I mentioned previously, and as now established, an action can always be (mis)construed as selfish - whether or not it's actually true. It is a matter of intent, but fact is that intent does not get broadcast out. Intent is irrelevant in the final product that is the action that everyone witnesses. Everyone makes their own judgements, and it is rather impossible to always predict people. It's simply unknowable if any action is selfish or not, both due to the vague nature of the word, and due to thr ambiguity of intent in the eyes of the audience.

FTL: That is most likely the case, yes. Belief is powerful in some cases, this being one of them. I'd be cliché and say that 'you are who you believe you are', but I will not be doing that. In the end, it's an unknowable mess that we honestly will never figure out, whether or not that was our original purpose. We have no concrete basis, and a theory without solid ground is nothing but dust.

FTL: Such is the role, unfortunately. I am lucky, in some sense of the word, I suppose. My Local Group is on the verges of falling apart, and though I do have responsibility, my two siblings are self-sufficient. Not much for me to even do. Even so, I cannot imagine having a higher workload in relevance to the role of Senior. I'd much rather prefer to spend my time as I do now. I suppose the role is just yet another unsustainable thing we were granted.

FTL: Why? There's no reason to, no benefits, it's rather pointless. Even if I have done grandiose things, and even if I do appreciate them on some level, theres's no need to place so much value upon them, upon anything.

FTL: I believe that it has something to do with everything that Echoes of a Paradox has told me. It's made me reconsider a lot. Either way, you are right. It is my work, there's no need to understate it in any way.

FTL: Ah... Alright. I suppose. Don't really see how that makes me in particular any special, considering that you could apply that generalised criteria to nearly anyone, though the combination of traits and experience would be drastically different. So... Alright. I'm glad I mean that much to you?

FTL. It is Upsilon.

I have a few things I wish to say, mostly apologies.

First, I wish to apologize for my previous behavior. I didn't even hang up, simply left the line metaphorically rotyim. Everything about my behavior was incredibly rude. You do not have to forgive me: that you know I regret leaving you like that is enough.

Second, I wish to say I deeply regret the way my... associate, treated you. Spreading baseless rumors to disturb you was quite cruel of him, and I certainly should have attempted to stop him sooner. Do not worry, my friend, he will be punished for his actions.

I do not want to kiss you I swear to all that is holy I do not

Best regards

-Upsolpm @oceanremnants

RP:

FTL: I do not quite think that your apology is necessary. If anything, I should be the one apologising for questioning your statements so much - even if I still think that that research was a heavily flawed concept and a completely redundant research topic. I accept your apology though, and I acknowledge your regret. Thank you.

FTL: Why apologise for someone else's actions? Truth be told, it wasn't all that bothersome, mostly just... I suppose confusing would be the right word. Not for the contents of the message but rather for the question of 'why even send something like this?'. Speculations and rumours such as that have absolutely no point to them, and are made at the expense of anyone involved. Perhaps that's the whole point.

FTL: I will be honest here: I do not care. I do not care whether it's true or not. It's wouldn't change anything either way, so it doesn't even matter. Do not concern yourself over it too much.

FTL: It's... nice to talk to you again, Upsilon.

[senterya]

It's been an absolute joy reading people's takes on the OC interview that has been floating around recently.

The idea of a Pale Rose interview (read: Fyarh and Nym dragging ex-courtier Reln into this) sounded so oddly entertaining that I wrote it for myself for fun but it turned out... surprisingly okay? So I'm gonna leave it here.

OC Interview: Pale Rose edition

(Draw (or use an old drawing, don’t worry!) or take a screen of your character in an interview setting and make them answer the following questions!)

1. Can you introduce yourself?

Fyarh: Sure. I’m Fyarh, founder and – formally – leader of Pale Rose. I’m also the head of the Dreamers’ division in our guild. (turns to the other two) And they are Nymeleia and Reln, head of the Soundless and Courtiers, respectively.

Nymeleia: (with a wide smile) Glad to be here!

Reln: (remains silent – just nods a little)

2. What is your gender identity, orientation, and relationship status?

Fyarh: (after a few seconds of thinking) I’m male, maybe prefer others who identify as that too? Didn’t think too much about it before.

Nymeleia: I’m looking both ways. I’m female and taken, you could say.

Reln: Why is this even– (exhales) ...I’m male, I don’t care what my partner identifies as. And my relationships are not for the public to chew on.

3. Where and when were you born?

Nymeleia: Back in the Grove, all of us. I awoke at Dawn and the boys are both Night blooms.

4. What is your weapon of choice and fighting style?

Fyarh: I’m best at stealth and surprise – daggers work just fine with that. If it’s an open confrontation, I prefer a light sword that doesn’t hinder my agility. But I’m trained and still training in hand-to-hand combat too.

Nymeleia: I was trained at the Vigil to be the shield, not the spearhead of the attack. I stay behind and make sure nothing hits that shouldn’t. I utilize shades and magic so technically I don’t need a weapon – a staff or scepter can help, though. I also carry a dagger on me, just in case.

Reln: I’m best with a bow. Two-handed sword if it comes to that. But whatever does the job, really.

5. Lastly, are you happy?

Fyarh: (smiles and glances at the others) I am. I’m on the path my Wyld Hunt laid out to me and I got great allies and friends that are with me every step I take. I’m truly grateful for that.

Nymeleia: (with a soft smile) I feel like I found my calling here. I’m working on a cause and with people that are amazing. I’m pretty happy with that, yes.

(both look over to Reln)

Reln: (after a few seconds of silence, with a cynical smile) Are we just supposed to say yes or no to that? Like happiness is that easy to define. (he glances to the side for a second.) But it’s been better here. Take that as a yes.

FAMILY AND FRIENDS

1. What’s your family like? What is your relationship with them?

Fyarh: The guild is the closest I have to a family in a sense you ask. I think? I’m on good terms with everyone – luckily, I mean... (he laughs a little nervously) ...it’s as it should be.

Nymeleia: I’m with Fyarh on this one. The sylvari in Rose are the closest people to me.

Reln: It really is pointless to ask sylvari about “family” – we’re all technically related, but are strangers at the same time.

Nymeleia: (with a smile she barely tries to hide) You are dodging the question.

Reln: I’m not dodging anything, I’m being reasonable. I have close friends, and allies – call that a family, if you want to.

2. Have you ever run away from home?

Nymeleia: We’re all sort of runaways, aren’t we? (she laughs) I’m Soundless, I left the Grove quite early, then joined the Vigil. Does that count?

Fyarh: It counts. But just so that you don’t feel left out. (Nymeleia gasps and mimics trying to kick him in the shin, they both laugh. Takes them a few more seconds to get back on track.)

Fyarh: I used to sneak away a lot when I was supposed to be in lectures. I loved discovering Caledon, I knew every corner of it so well when I was a sapling. Maybe I’d still remember if I walked around.

Reln (after everyone looks at him): ...I’m from the Court. I think that’s self-explanatory.

Fyarh: But didn’t you also wander away a lot?

Reln: You could say. I preferred being alone. Hunting was a good excuse.

3. Would you consider marriage or having children?

Fyarh: In the far future, maybe? I’m still very young though, and my hands are full with my guild and my Hunt. It’s definitely not something I think about a lot.

Nymeleia: Marriage sounds cute – I like the idea of honoring commitment with a little ceremony.

Reln: Neither of those seems to be for me.

Nymeleia: (quietly) Ah, my heart.

(Reln glances at her, but doesn’t respond.)

4. Do you secretly hate one of your friends?

Fyarh and Nymeleia: No...?

Reln: (slightly annoyed) Is it even a friend if you hate them? Next question.

5. Which friend knows everything about you?

Fyarh: Maybe Daleien? We've known each other for the longest, and he was with me through thick and thin. Nowadays I share a lot with Nym and Reln too. I used to be very secretive about myself but I’m working on it.

Nymeleia: We chat and gossip a lot with Dia – she’s another Soundless from the guild. She’s lovely and so supportive, I’m really glad I have her.

Reln: I’m not the one to share everything about myself. But my second-in-command knows the most.

Nymeleia: Oh don’t listen to him. He and Lavan technically read each other’s minds – no words, just half a gesture, and they know all they need to know.

ASKED BY FANS

1. Are you literate? Have you been to school?

Fyarh: I’m literate, and I’ve been mentored as much – well, maybe a little less – than any other sylvari.

Nymeleia: I actually struggled with reading and writing for a while – I could, just not well, as I never really had to. Paperwork has been a nightmare for the first months in Rose, but by now I got the hang of it. I’ve been reading a lot of novels recently, too.

Reln: I’m literate, and was mentored like all other saplings. The latter didn’t reach its purpose, though.

2. The eeriest prediction you made that later came true?

(They all look at each other, but neither of them seems to have an answer or anything they’d be willing to share.)

3. What is something you were embarrassingly late to realize?

Fyarh: Oh. I somehow never really talked about my Wyld Hunt in.... sufficient detail to my mentors? Not before the Wardens arrested me for hiding thorn pups in a forsaken outpost. It was a real journey talking my way out from there. One of the most embarrassingly funny things that happened to me, in retrospect.

Nymeleia: I was always too caught upon not handling the concept of pain, and death, very well. I don’t regret working on it and toughening up, I just wish I had realized sooner that I should hone my strengths instead of desperately trying to “correct” what I perceive as a weakness.

Reln: ...I guess I haven’t realized soon enough what real understanding means. (he seems mildly uncomfortable by the question, and does not elaborate)

4. Do you have mental health or physical issues?

Fyarh: Fighting takes a toll on everyone, I’d say. But nothing other than that.

Nymeleia: (nodding along – her eyes wander off to the distance)

Reln: A few scars here and there. Had a lot to deal with after coming back from the heart of the jungle, but I have worked through most of those by now.

5. What is your current main goal?

Fyarh: I’m dedicating all my time to the guild. It’s been coming along so much better than what I prepared myself for, and I’m not about to waste the opportunity.

Nymeleia: I’m not satisfied with my level of skills on the field yet – I’m spending as much time on training as I can, next to Rose. There are some other necromancers in the guild with who we share our knowledge, and I have gotten some general good advice and lectures from Firstborn Trahearne himself. It’s crazy how far Fyarh’s connections go.

Reln: I’m busy training and supervising my own division. Most of us are reliable and trusting, but there are and will always be a few loose cannons I need to keep an eye out for.

CHOICES

1. Drink or food?

Fyarh: A drink, maybe? I tend to forget to eat. It’s getting on Nym’s nerves at times.

Nymeleia: Ah don’t even mention it. I’m picking food – nothing tops a good, warm meal after a long day.

Reln: Food, if I have to pick.

2. Cats or dogs?

Fyarh: I love cats. I wouldn't mind adopting one, but I'm afraid I wouldn't be able to take good care of them.

Nymeleia: Can we pick both, maybe?

Reln: (glancing at the thorn wolf lying next to him) I’m more of a dog person. But cats are good too.

3. Early bird or night owl?

Fyarh: I’m a night owl. Waking up with the rest of the guild at early hours is a nightmare for me. I tend to oversleep so much, it’s almost comical.

Nymeleia: That’s not a problem for me though. I’m up before everyone else. And so is Reln.

Reln: (nodding)

4. Optimist or pessimist?

Fyarh: Optimist.

Nymeleia: Same, some will even say naive for sure.

Reln: Middle ground. I’m more of a realist than any of the two.

5. Sassy or sarcastic?

Fyarh: Maybe... sassy? With close friends. I don’t feel like either most of the time, honestly.

Nymeleia: Would you say I’m more sassy or sarcastic?

Reln: (to her) Is that really a question?

Nymeleia: Oh entertain me.

Reln: (gestures towards her; she laughs)

HAVE YOU EVER

1. Been caught sneaking out?

Fyarh: Once, when I was sneaking out of a Court camp with two stolen thorn pups. Barely got away. Didn’t dare to show myself around there for a while.

Nymeleia: Several times. Did a lot of bathroom cleaning in the Vigil for it too.

Reln: If I was, I doubt I would be here today.

2. Broken a bone?

Fyarh: Miraculously, no. I don’t even know myself how’s that possible.

Nymeleia: My left arm. Open wound, too – wasn’t a good experience.

Reln: Nothing that a field medic couldn’t fix.

3. Received flowers?

Fyarh: If you mean it like, in a romantic way? No, not yet.

Nymeleia: I received a few, but in my experience Vigil soldiers are more of the blunt than the romantic type.

Reln: No.

Nymeleia: How dare you. I gave you potted herbs a while ago!

Fyarh: (leaning forward) Potted herbs?

Nymeleia: It’s because he takes his food back to his room all the time. And then he complains about the seasoning. Go figure!

4. Ghosted someone?

Fyarh: I did... use to run away from confrontations a lot. But people say I’ve gotten better with that too.

Nymeleia: I prefer to just tell people if I’m not interested in talking to them. As kindly as possible, of course. But I think it’s ruder to leave them hanging.

Reln: I did leave from places – the Grove, the Court – suddenly, but then again, I didn’t have many connections to either in the first place.

5. Pretended to laugh at a joke you didn’t get?

Fyarh: That happens. Easier than trying to go back to it and figure it out, takes away the flow of the conversation.

Nymeleia: Everyone does that from time to time, no?

Reln: I don’t. If someone’s not funny enough, that’s not my problem.

[danseru-kun]

I know there's a phase in our life where we move on and grow but it's bugging me for a while, and I'm super curious to ask. I've read that you are quite uninvested in FF7 fandom nowadays and skeptical about FF7R, did you outgrew your love for Cloti? I mean it would break my heart, because I especially look forward for your essays now that FF7R is coming, and Cloti's presence is quite significant in the trailers at least. But don't mind me, I would always love and support you nonetheless!

There are a lot of answers to this to be honest, and I'm somewhat glad you asked.

I still love Cloti as much as I loved it over the years. That's why I have like dozens of essays dedicated for it since I joined Tumble in 2011.

I love it because of the story of how two imperfect, hurt, and damaged people grow strong together. I love how it reflects real life struggles rather than fantasy, fairy tale romance.

The thing is that, in shipping in any fandom, there the passion for your ship may either be for the pairing itself or competition with another ship.

I'm not gonna lie: a lot of my energy back then was dedicated to defeating Anti-Cloti. It feels good to tear down nonsensical and hateful arguments against Cloti, and against Tifa especially. It's also entertaining to see Antis proven wrong over and over especially by Square Enix themselves (koibito's official English translation for example sent me in a laugh trip).

A lot of energy dedicated by fans is still out of competition. Sometimes driven by petty revenge and hatred towards certain individuals.

I want to be divorced from that competition. There is no point for me to prove, as the Cloti love story is real for me and nothing threatens it. I don't get insecure on my ship just because some aren't convinced. Moreover, most of the debates feel childish. I prefer to talk to adults who think like one.

As for FF7R, I'm a creative person myself and an author and there was a period of rethinking especially after thousands of chats with my friend @cateringisalie, that the people who labored on FFVII OG, will not be the same as FF7R. The creative process back then wasn't influenced by social media and fan opinion. FF7 is still a corporate property meant to sell and that's why it evolved with various spin offs and was made into a Compilation.

After being incredibly displeased by FFXV, I don't trust Square Enix anymore. FFXV is the worst story-telling I've seen in any game I've played in my life.

Authors also change, even if they were part of the original team. For example: JK Rowling. Anyone in the Harry Potter fandom knows her tweets are... Controversial.

I didn't play OG in 1997, I played it in 2013 as an adult so I don't have nostalgia goggles.

FF7R is a new game for me and I see it as an official fanfiction: new team, new direction, new generation of consumers to sell to. The Cloud and Tifa I knew from the OG, Advent Children and OTWTS is my canon.

That's why I don't really get excited except for some pretty graphics to recreate old scenes. I'm also pissed they are splitting it to different parts and bloating it with content to prolong each portion.

In relation to Cloti and FF7R, I find it pointless and a waste of time to argue if Cloti will win over Cl3ris based on an honestly bad trailer (what the heck is the story???), gameplay footage and promotional materials.

So that's my long answer. To summarize: I've dedicated tons of material for Cloti that expresses all my passion for it. There is no point or enjoyment for me to try to win Love Triangle Debates. FF7R is not the OG and parts of the Compilation that I loved, and I don't expect it will give me the same experience. I don't have a lot to say until I've played the new game myself.

[vieverdeen]

Thoughts on 8x03. I need to vent.

WARNING: this contains dark! Dany, crumbs of Jonsa i guess, anti sanarion, anti jonerys, anti daenerys, anti tyrion, anti d&d, basically anti everything, and lots and lots and lots of complaining. LOTS. And bitching. I hated 8x03. If you liked it, I suggest you keep scrolling. Please keep scrolling. I don't want any heat, dont want to offend anybody, I just so BADLY need to vent.

Also, i post in the Jonsa tag, because that's my main fandom and where i feel safe.

ALSO SPOILERS!

This episode was an epitome of disappointment. I can't even. All this bragging how it was going to beat BotB and Hardhome, even freakin HELMS DEEP (the audacity) and ZERO payoff. I'll try to be as brief as possible(I probably won't be).

1. Whover was the mastermid behind this battleplan should hang. What the actual fuck. What the f*ck was the deal with stationing all The Unsullied and Dothraki OUTSIDE?! I mean i get it - there's limited space at Winterfell, and those are huge armies. But later, when it all goes to hell with the Dothraki and so on, and Dadvos screams "man the walls!" there are so few people actually inside, that could man the walls! I mean, the defenders should form a freaking wall themselves, to push down as many wights as possible! And they weren't even in position, on the battlements!

2. The charge was fucking idiotic. I really don't get it - was it a rash decision of the Dothraki, inspired by Mel lighting their arakhs, that they were like "yeah, why not, let's roll", without any order? Or was it an ACTUAL plan for them to charge the AotD, without anybody knowing Mel would show up and do what she did, with regular weapons, not even Valyrian steel or dragon glass?! I mean, did they WANT to give the NK more meat for his army? THE STUPIDITY

3. What was the deal with Arya during the battle? All of the sudden she's inside the castle, terrified, walks into the library and hides from one(!) wight - seeing as in the beginning she wasn't aware there were more. The whole library scene was exhausting to watch, and not because of the suspence, but again, because of the stupidity of it. It felt out of nowhere and pointless. And damn, I remember all of the speculation when the trailer came out- why is Arya so terrified, what is she running from? Is it Rickon or whatnot? Nope. No surprises here. Just regular whights, just like the ones she was going all assasin-mode on a minute ago.

3. Jon, Daenerice and their lizards. I mean, could they have been any more useless?! Dani burns some wights in the beginning and thats it. The most frustrating part was, that they haven't even once used the goddamn dragons to fry Viserion. Not once! There was some hands-on dragon combat but that was it. At various moments I wanted the NK to win, seriously. When they flew above the clouds and Viserion disappeared, i half expected the nephew and his aunt to sing "A whole new world" together and fly away. Wouldn't have made a difference.

4. I will give them one thing, the part with Dany falling off of Drogon and him abandoning her was satisfying. Shame that Jorah ex Machina was soo predicrable (glad it wasn't Jon though). Also, I will say, that Jorahs death was the one scene I actually liked, it brought me back to season 1 and I felt for Daenerys for a moment.

5. The crypts. I mean, the way Tyrion has been made by the show to be the Most Moral Man in the Universe, with his magical, genius mind has become unbearable. I wanted to smack him, seriously. Of course YOU should be out there Tyrion, YOU might notice something others won't. Sansa put him in his place, but I would prefer it if she remaind cold towards him, like in the first episode, just beacuse the amount of sanarion being pushed down our throats was making me gag. Saying they would never have worked because of Dani? Sansa love, you dont have to be polite. It would never have worked because Sansa did not love him, wasn't attracted to him, was forced to marry him as a child, because he's a father-killing, whore-mongering alcoholic. I was SO scared they would actually kiss in that scene when they were hiding. I was about to puke. Seriously, Sophie has an amazing chemistry with nearly everyone and clearly it was visible in this scene, but for the love of God I could not bear it.

6. Missandei and her "if it werent for the Dragon Queen we'd all be dead". I need someone to step up ASAP and make it clear that if it werent for Dani and her dumbass advisors the NK WOULDNT HAVE A F*CKING DRAGON!!! And the Wall still would be standing! Why don't these things matter? Like at all?? Why?! D&D just dont give a fuck.

7. Bran. The Three-Eyed Raven. All those seasons, the impossible journey, the sacrifice of Hodor, Jojen, Meera, Summer, all the 8-year build up for the AotD to end like... this. No resolution, no answers, no explanation. And Bran does nothing. It was so underwhelming. Every single fanfic I've read was better than this. He just warged into some ravens and went for a flight. Coolcoolcool.

8. The final scene, with the music and everything was, much like the rest of the episode, exhausting. The pacing was all over the place, either too slow or too fast. It sure was nice of the NK to give Theon and Bran some extra time so they could look at each other meaningfully, with Bran taking his sweet time to assure Theon that his character arc has been completed and he's most welcome to die for him now. The NK was actually a big softie on the inside, truly. Applies also for the never-ending look he exchanged with Bran before actually trying to kill him.

Till the last moment I was hoping that Bran would pull something out. That he couldn't have been THIS useless. Anything, I would have even taken time travel, anything. But GoT has stopped shocking and surprising a looong time ago, and we got Arya instead. I guess she's so awesome now, kinda like a supernatural being, that the only sign of her coming is a light breeze moving one's hair. I don't quite get when did she actually learn to fly/jump so high, maybe at some point in Braavos, between washing dead bodies and fighting with sticks? (okay, here's a rabbit hole to avoid - Aryas plot since sason 6, when suddenly she becomes a worrior able to best Brienne in combat). I would really like Arya killing the NK, if it was done and executed better, with a decent build-up and all of that. Not like this. It was so fucking easy it hurt.

9. Jon was useless. Useless I tell you. Dani being useless was sorta satisfying, as I'm anti dany, but Jon has been obsessed with the AotD and the NK for too many seasons now. I guess I should be thankful that at no point the line "i thought i lost you" has been uttered.

10. When the episode ended, me and my sister were like, "damn, dani has actually lost all her armies. game over for her." I mean she lost all of the Dothraki, almost all of the Unsullied? But God, did we underestimate Dumb&Dumber's dumbness! OF COURSE in the promo Dani still has an army and is ready to go to war with Cersei. OF COURSE. Fuck logic, fuck the facts, fuck the plot. Things havent been making any sense for a while now, so why bother at the end?

11. One more thing about Ghost - i love this boy with all my heart, and that's why it pisses me off so much that after SEASONS of neglecting him and favouring the lizards, the writers bring him back for some meaningless cameos, without Jon interacting with him ONCE. The discrespect! Seriously, at this point Ghost should just switch owners. Jon better stay with his pet reptalian.

Sidenote: I won't even go into no Jonsa goodbye scene. No goodbye-scene for Jon with any of the Starks. Coolcoolcool.

There is more, I'm sure, but I cant remember and I'm too tired. I dont even know what I expected. Maybe because the 2 first episodes were decent I was hoping for something remotely good. But D&D reminded me that no one can dissapoint like they can.

[slitherfromeden]

– stuff better though, like silly chick flicks or horror movies so bad you can't even take them seriously. but also i'll just watch any movie with pretty outfits in it. like it has to be pretty OR entertaining in some way.... that is all of my standards... i hope you're alright! i'm glad to hear you got lots of rest, you deserve it! lots of love! ♡

asdhfhs don’t worry. sometimes it’s just about having a good time. honestly, those silly chick flicks are more entertaining than like,,, every pretentious film and like. really the goal of a movie is to entertain, right? so don’t feel bad for not having high standards ahdfgh. i completely get what you mean ashdfas. whenever i watch a movie i need to have a like. a phone game out. like you know those completely pointless phone games, ketchapp ones and stuff. just one you can pay no mind to,, just as something to do. dhfDSHF i get what you mean. honestly i tend to watch a lot of dramas and the pretentious stuff when i do watch movies (rarely since i have zero attention span),, like my favs on letterboxd are brokeback mountain, donnie darko. there is juno (i think juno might be considered pretentious as well by some people but ???) and what we do in the shadows on there too though adfh. and how dare i forget the best piece of cinema ever made,,,, jennifer’s body. watch it if you haven’t. maybe i’m just being a stereotypical bisexual by loving it but,,, god,,, crazy how cinema didn’t exist until 2009. and the SOUNDTRACK!! god, anyway, time to shut up about cult classic Jennifer’s Body (2009) starring megan fox and amanda seyfried. 

and i’m doing okay. i’ve been self harming quite a lot but it’s like. not bad. it’s pretty normal for me to do it to this amount and if anything it’s a good sign that i can even be bothered to do it + it helps me deal with my emotions. not in a healthy way but,,, it’s a way nonetheless. i slept for,,,, 14 hours+ yesterday and my family thought i died ahdfhas. my mum ran upstairs and shook me awake and i stg she looked like she was about to have a heart attack asdhfahsd. i think i was just exhausted. and i took my sleeping pills for the first time in a while so idk if the time off them made me less resistant or what. but yeah. i’m a bit jittery anxious rn but i prefer that to the deep anxiety since jittery anxiety is like... thrilling and it’s almost good. like being excited but i’m not if that makes sense shdfha. yeah. can’t wait for the fall from this. ashdf. lots of love!!!!