#i know part of it is that. i have to actually commute to school
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never skips class, finished with papers a week before the deadline to skipping class to finish a paper due tomorrow at 8 am pipeline
#caroline talks#looking at my college self and wondering how the hell#i was on multiple leadership boards for like 4 different clubs#and doing all these insane studies and also writing fic and exercising#i know part of it is that. i have to actually commute to school#another part of it is that i need to go grocery shopping + cook all my meals#another part of it is just like. the sheer weight of law school being so much busier than college#where i'm really doing nothing BUT studying#and now i'm like. man.#but you know! the grass is always greener#telling myself that these are all good things and i should really just chill the fuck out#my first step: do my fucking dishes right now#put away my groceries. maybe change into something that aren't just my fucking pajamas#etc etc
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they should make a life where you don't have appointments, work, school and scheduled events every single day for months on end
#i just wanna spend like 2 full days rotting in bed is that too much to ask#december i'm going on a vacation with family + gf and we're trying to schedule a lunch/dinner so that we can go over the itinerery#and other stuff like my gf is diabetic so she's going to tell everyone the procedures in case of an emergency etc#and the soonest i'm available for that is oct 20th like bruh#every week day i've got classes 7:30-11:50 work 13:00-17:00 and then gym therapy or futsal practice at night#oh and sometimes the professor that i'm the student assistant (? monitor in pt) for wants me to go to her night classes#and then on weekends i've got futsal practice sat morning usually a match either saturday or sunday legal advice clinic 4x a semester#and then birthdays friend group meetups (with ppl i haven't properly seen in a WHILE so i don't wanna bail) family stuff or gf's family stu#oh and i take care of the finances of our futsal team so there's that as well#and then when i'm free i spend my time with my love (who i mostly see on either day of the weekend and sometimes for dinner on weekdays)#those are my favorite “appointments” i love spending time with her so much but even though we have quite a few staying in dates we also#pretty frequently go out to cafes restaurants parks meet up with mutual friends etc#so like... no bed rotting ever adfdsal#honestly i am not THAT busy compared to some ppl that i know#like i work from home most days of the week commute only 20 min to college am not a part of any study group etc etc#but man... that vyvense sure is working cause i do not think i would be able to do what i do now when my adhd was unmedicated#also i'm thinking of maybe getting a new internship next year cause even though i love my current one it's in public law which atm#is the field i'm thinking of getting into after school but getting into private law in brazil with only public law uni experience is#incredibly difficult. so i wanna be 100% sure i actually want public law. which means experiencing private law.#which means a private law internship#so i'm wondering how the fuck imma be able to pull that off next year#at least it pays much more than my current one! like probably double!#but honestly even with all the shit that i do and wishing i had more time for myself i've actually been so happy lately#i'm learning more at uni than i used to be able to i do pretty well at my internship i've got wonderful friends both old and new#my family is well and we get along like always i switched positions in futsal and am doing suprisingly good as a goalkeeper#and i'm in my first ever relationship. it's been almost 8 months till we made it official and it blows me away how good it's been#like we haven't faught once. disagreed on a couple things sure. but not a single fight and tbh even disagreements are very rare#idk we communicate and give each other grace and i just feel so loved. she knows me so well. i love her so so so so much.#like man just this saturday we were having an early dinner at a bakery. she stopped what she was saying and just stared at me smiling#and like i couldn't hold eye contact. cause she's so so fucking beautiful and she was looking at me with so much love and i had to look awa
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Latte (He)art
Pairing: Barista!Bucky x Coworker!College!Reader
Summary: Your sweet coworker at the café you work at part time is the only thing able to brighten your day. So it’s only practical that he always ends up in the same shift as you.
Word Count: 7.8k 🐻☕🧋🍪
Warnings: Reader having College stress; mentions of a single mother (not reader); some coffee is spilled; Bucky is a sweetheart; Bucky is worried
Author’s Note: This little piece is written for @elixirfromthestars writing challenge. I actually planned to write this a month earlier but life got in between lol. Here it is now. I dearly hope you enjoy what I made of your lovely prompt.
🤎Coffee Cup🤎 “So we’re swapping our cups, and after a while, we’re swapping a glance. And I can think nothing better than starting the year with a drop of romance.” -Anthony Lazaro
Masterlist
The windows of the coffee shop receive more of your attention than the assortment of pastries you’re supposed to prepare to showcase behind the counter.
It’s fifteen minutes before Bucky’s shift starts and your belly flutters at the thought of seeing him again.
The early morning sun filters through the windows, offering a soft glow that casts warm beams of light to sweep across the floor and catch the glistening frosting on the cinnamon rolls. Their sweet, spiced aroma laced with hints of vanilla and brown sugar wafts through the air.
However, your gaze is more drawn to the street outside, scanning the road for a short mop of chestnut hair.
You like to snag shifts before the classes of your day start, relishing in the early morning hours and being satisfied with getting some work done before studying. But in the two and a half months since you started working at ‘Barnes Brown Beans’, you had come to recognize Bucky seems to prefer working in the morning as well. So, he actually may be the main reason.
Also, you’re usually, coincidentally - or so you tell yourself - paired with him anyway.
You’re grateful for this job. The shop’s close proximity to your university makes it an easy commute and the wages are fair. That’s a blessing in itself. But more than that, it was George and Winifred Barnes, the owners, who initially made it easy for you to love this job.
Winifred had greeted you with sweet enthusiasm at your job interview for a part-time job, making you instantly feel more at ease. After asking a few routine questions and warmly assuring you that the position was yours, she shifted the conversation to your studies with genuine interest and asked if you were good with balancing work and university life - a mother's worries.
It didn’t take long for her to start gushing about her children. She explained to you how her son, Bucky, had been helping out at the coffee shop ever since high school. Instead of pursuing college, like many of his peers and his best friend Steve, he chose to stay in New York to help manage the family business. “I’m sure you two will get along well” she had said with a kind of knowing grin you couldn’t make sense of.
She even shared with you that his little sister, Rebecca, always had a burning passion for studying architecture abroad. Unfortunately, the Barnes simply couldn’t afford a college education for both children, so Bucky decided to step up, taking on more responsibility at the shop so his parents wouldn’t be overwhelmed and relieving them of some stressful work, allowing his sister to follow her dreams.
She spoke with so much love and gratitude she held for her son, it almost made you tear up. She mentioned that Bucky never once showed resentment or regret for the path he chose.
Instead, he took pride in his role, and you could see it too. During your brief time working with him, you noticed how he carried himself with a quiet determination. There is genuine joy in the way he treats customers, always kind and attentive, and he always puts so much care into every small detail of his work.
He also loves to tell you about the exams his sister passed, and the friends she made; pride in her success evident when he speaks about her.
You admire him. He’s selfless, hardworking, and full of heart.
So it’s just logical that his parents gave him so much responsibility early on and made him part of the management.
You don’t mind that one second though, because he takes his authority incredibly seriously and usually shows up for his shifts earlier than he needs to.
It’s why your gaze is drawn to the panes of glass at the front once again.
You got in at 7 today, getting enthusiastically greeted by George - as he told you to call him on your first day - and tasked with the usual morning routine. So, as he disappeared into the small office room at the back of the shop, you had started prepping the food equipment and putting it on display.
The shop wouldn’t open until 8, so you still had some time to breathe before the morning rush would start, but you always feel some kind of gratitude at the way George lets you handle yourself at the front while waiting for Bucky to arrive at 7:30 to help out.
Admittedly, you didn’t get that much done yet, caused by the thought of seeing Bucky walk in through the door at any minute.
You saw him just 4 days ago at your last shift, but the giddy anticipation is all the same and you only have three and a half hours with him today before you have to leave for your classes.
The buttery, sweet, and slightly nutty smell of the freshly baked croissants you’re currently rearranging wafts from the trays and reaches your nostrils, but gets ignored the second you hear keys jiggling outside, and your attention snaps to the door.
“Morning doll!”
Bucky’s smooth voice comes through the door with him, cheerful as always as he greets you with a charming smile, and your chest flutters. A rush of cool air hits your exposed skin from outside, but his grin is warming you back up quickly.
You fumble with the croissant in your hand, but recover in time and throw him a smile of your own, hoping you’re able to mask the excitement you tried to hold in all morning.
“Morning, Bucky,” you greet him back sweetly, turning your attention back to the pastries, pretending to focus on your task at hand.
Out of the corner of your eye, you watch as Bucky pulls off his coat and then makes his way over to you, hovering over your shoulder, while putting on his apron. You try to hide the way your hands get a little clammy in the see-through gloves you’re wearing while touching the food.
You tend to the fruit danishes, their glossy, golden crust filled with rich cream cheese and topped with plump raspberries, blueberries, and apricots.
Carefully placing each in its designated spot, you only manage to breathe a little easier when you feel Bucky move over to the coffee machines, their steady hum filling the quiet space as Bucky busies himself.
“Smells amazing, doll,” he calls over his shoulder and you can hear the grin in his voice.
You let out a soft laugh, glancing at him briefly before putting your head back around. “Didn’t make them, Bucky,” you explain, tone playful but modest.
Brewing coffee and clinking mugs are the only sounds you hear before Bucky’s hum reaches your ears. “Maybe you should,” he states, teasing laced with a hint of sincerity. “Bet they’d be gone in seconds.”
You’re grateful that Bucky isn’t in your line of sight because you feel heat creeping up your neck, coloring your cheeks. Your laugh is a little breathless, a little more insecure than you intended.
A few weeks ago you had casually mentioned your love for baking when Bucky had asked about your hobbies, and ever since he loved to bring it up every once in a while.
“I don’t know about that.” You try for nonchalance, but the blush doesn’t leave your face.
“Gotta give yourself more credit, doll,” he replies easily, his words wrapped in that effortless charm of his. You hear some more clinking of cups as he makes one for himself, just like every day. “Want coffee?”
He asks every time. You decline, like every time. Though he never fails to ask.
And it never fails to make your morning feel just a little bit brighter.
****
Watching Bucky create his latte art has become one of the highlights of your day. There is something mesmerizing in the way he moves, pouring the steamed milk with such precision and focus as if each cup would get graded by an artist.
You’ve noticed how much care he puts into it, the way he pauses before finishing, always needing it to be perfect.
You can tell when Bucky isn’t quite satisfied, like right now, as he holds up the cup that looks flawless to you. But there is a twitch of his mouth, a slight hesitation in his hand as if he’s debating whether to start over or risk making it worse with one more pour.
It’s adorable, really. To you, they all look perfect, but he holds himself to a standard that’s somehow both admirable and endearing.
Today, Bucky was the one already there when you arrived at 8 am, along with the first customers of the day.
The scent of fresh coffee had filled the air as you stepped inside, a soft murmur of conversation around you setting the tone for the morning rush.
He was stationed behind the counter, together with one of your coworkers, Peter. It didn’t escape your notice that Bucky caught your eye immediately, flashing you that warm, easy smile even before acknowledging Mr. Nakajima, a frequent visitor.
It was a small gesture but it excited you nonetheless.
Mr. Nakajima, or Yori as you’d heard Bucky call him, now sits in his usual corner, peacefully sipping his tea; his quiet presence a constant in the shop.
The older man always seems content to watch the people go in and out of the shop, observing the ebb and flow of the crowd, wrinkled hands wrapped around his cup as if savoring the warmth.
Bucky often took time to sit with him when things were slow, sharing long and comfortable conversations that seemed to be meaningful. There is something about the way Bucky treats Yori that tugs at your heart.
It seems, that right now Bucky is comfortable with leaving Peter and you to attend to the ebbing crowd as he makes his way to Yori's table and slowly lowers himself in front of him.
You deliberately turn away although there isn’t much to do for you right now since the morning rush is over and Peter attends to the only customer in the shop right now. So, you mindlessly wipe down the counter, not because you’re not interested, but if you spend any more attention on the guy you might get overwhelmed by the awe he arises in you.
The way Bucky smiles when he talks to the old man, the way his face lights up with that blinding, heart-stopping grin - it has a dizzying effect on you. And the laugh he lets slip every so often, low and full of warmth, makes it hard to concentrate on any coffee orders.
Bucky stays at Yori's table for a while. Every now and then you make out his face turning in your direction, lingering a little but you stay focused on your work.
“Y/n?”
The sound of Peters's voice makes your head snap over to him, blinking in expectation.
“Sorry, uh, you seemed a little distracted for a sec,” Peter says with a shy laugh, scratching the back of his neck, eyes flickering not so subtly over to Bucky.
Alright, maybe you have looked a few times. Whatever.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you mumble, doing your best to ignore the knowing grin spreading across Peter's face. Thankfully, a girl around your age approaches the counter, saving you from the growing awkwardness. You flash her a smile and focus on her order.
More customers start to stream in, the café again beginning to buzz with activity. Bucky, noticing the crowd building up, excuses himself from Yori’s table with a friendly pat on the old man’s shoulder. He steps back behind the counter, his easygoing demeanor never faltering as he joins in beside you. You share a quick smile.
Working with Bucky always makes it fun in some sense, time slipping by too quickly. Before you know it, it’s time for you to head out for your first class of the day.
You step away from the counter, untie your apron, and grab your things, already feeling reluctant to leave Bucky’s side.
“Already time to go?” Bucky asks, turned in your direction, his voice carrying that familiar deep drawl. There’s a slight disappointment laced in his tone, that doesn’t escape you.
“Yeah,” you sigh, “first class is-“
“History,” he finishes for you, without missing a beat.“I remember.”
You hadn’t expected him to recall such a small detail about your schedule, surprise registering on your face. But you quickly push out a smile, nodding at him, your heart doing a little somersault.
“Hold on,” he insists quietly, already moving to snap up a to-go bag and carefully placing a croissant inside. With a casual grin, he holds it out for you to take. “On the house.”
This isn’t the first time Bucky has given you something to go, insisting you take it as a gift. But it never gets easier to accept his small acts of kindness. You hesitate, not making a move to take the bag and Bucky’s smirk only deepens, playing the same game you’ve had before.
“Take it, doll,” he drawls, dangling the bag in front of your face with a playful glint in his eye. “Can’t let you go to class hungry, now can I?”
You can’t help but roll your eyes with a smile tugging at your lips, and snatch the bag from his hand with mock annoyance. “Fine, but this is the last time,” you warn, rather weakly it seems, considering the way Bucky leans against the counter with his arms crossed, smirking at you in an amused manner.
“You know it’s not. Can’t fault me for taking care of you, doll. You haven’t eaten anything all morning.”
His words are casual, but the way he says it, the unspoken concern that lingers, makes giddy warmth rise in your stomach, spreading to your face and heating your skin.
You hope it’s not that obvious, so you just sigh again, dramatically, and exaggerate an eye roll as Bucky lets another cup get filled with coffee, eyes remaining on you, a chuckle fleeing his lips.
You make your way to the door of the shop, knowing you’d just pay him back by slipping some money into the tip jar when you’re in earlier than him.
“And no leaving dollars in the tip jar, sweetheart,” Bucky calls out behind you, the smug amusement clear in his voice. “Ma told me about that.”
Busted.
You turn you head with a faux helpless look, which only sends him into a fit of laughter, the sound rich and full, echoing through the shop, and your heart bursts, ignoring the people standing in the line wearing looks between confusion and annoyance. Laughing quietly yourself, you let the warmth of the moment fill you up, then quickly slip out the door before the flustered grin on your face can betray you any further.
With the door closed, the sounds of the café seal off behind you and you find yourself lingering just a second longer than the last time.
****
“Girl, I’m telling you, that’s nothing! I accidentally made a girl’s latte with cow's milk although she’d ordered oat. Chased her down the street like a lunatic, I mean she could have had an allergy and whatnot. Turns out it was just a preference and she didn’t mind. Talk about embarrassing.”
You chuckle along to Gina’s story, dusting the cappuccino in front of you with a sprinkle of cinnamon, scents mingling together.
Regina - or Gina as she prefers - is always someone you enjoy working with together. She’s incredibly open-minded and carries that vibrant energy you need to get through the day. She’s got a few years on you but never fails to make you laugh.
While brewing coffee and selling them, she loves to tell you about her little boy, Nikita. You’ve seen pictures of him on her phone and he’s adorable with puffy cheeks, dark curls, and dark green eyes. He must have those from his father.
You know she is a single mother and you admire the way she takes it with pride, finding peace in her situation and insisting that she and Nikita are better off without his father.
You’ve also come to find out that 'Barnes Brown Beans' wasn’t the only job she had but that George and Winifred are so much fairer than her other boss, being supportive and trying to give her shifts that accommodate her schedule so she could pick up Nikita from kindergarden early enough to still have time with him every day.
Another thing that makes this job so valuable.
Earlier was a brief lull in the crowd, allowing you and her to chat. The conversation had drifted into the realm of embarrassing work stories. You shared one of your own, recalling how, in your first week, you had prepared a to-go coffee. You felt that nervousness that comes with starting a new job and as you tried to slide the cup over the counter to the customer, your aim had been far too enthusiastic. The cup sailed past the edge, spinning gracefully through the air before landing in the trash bin.
You hoped that perhaps nobody really saw what happened besides the slightly perturbed man in front of you. But since you shared this shift with Bucky and he always seems to have an eye on you, of course, he was a witness. You remember the way his laugh had erupted, uncontainable, filling the air behind the counter. He had leaned against it for support while you stood there, cheeks burning.
He didn’t make you feel bad though, helping you remake the coffee and almost sheepishly adding that the same thing happened to him once. Only, in his case, it was a porcelain cup. And it didn’t land in the bin. The image of it crashing to the floor, shattering into tiny pieces as coffee splattered everywhere, was enough to make you feel a little less embarrassed.
“Something funny?”
The familiar voice catches you off guard and you look up from the register. Sure enough, Bucky is strolling up to the counter, hands casually tucked into his jacket pockets and that handsome grin on his face that always causes your stomach to do flips.
“Bucky?” you ask, a soft, confused laugh escaping you. You feel your heart jump in excitement and try to tone it down. He wasn’t supposed to come in for a few more hours, and you had already resigned yourself to the disappointment of missing him today. You’d seen the shift schedule last week and the realization was like a cloud casting a shadow over your mood.
So, seeing him standing in front of you only makes a smile stretch wide without even thinking.
“I think you’re a little early,” you assess, voice light as you ring up the girl standing at the counter. Handing her the cappuccino, you glance back at him, the small transaction barely registering as your attention stays fixed on Bucky.
His grin only widens as he shrugs with a kind of faux nonchalance, letting his gaze sweep across the room. His smile stays in place, even as he steps aside for a middle-aged man approaching you.
“Couldn’t stay away,” he teases with that signature edge of playfulness that always gets to you.
As you start to prepare the man’s coffee, you can feel Bucky’s gaze on you, watching your every move. It’s a weight you’ve grown fond of - his silent observation that makes you more aware of yourself, in a good way.
You flash him a quick smile before refocusing.
“Also had to know how that exam went,” he adds casually, leaning in just a little, but you’re aware of that curiosity his voice always carries when he asks you about college. Or anything about your life, really.
You huff out a small laugh, ringing up the man’s order and sliding his coffee across the counter before turning your full attention back to Bucky. “Wasn’t as hard as I thought it’d be,” you answer him, a hint of relief in your tone since you had been stressing about this exam for weeks. “I think I did okay.”
Bucky leans against the counter now, propping himself up in that relaxed way of his, eyes never leaving yours. You’re glad you get to talk to him, glad that Gina attends to the only current customer right now and you have a second with Bucky, but the unknown power his gaze holds over you threatens to overwhelm you.
“What’d I tell ya, doll? Of course, you did great. Smartest girl I know.”
You snort, but your heart races. He always seems so sure of your success, having this confidence in you, that you feel you lack sometimes and it makes warmth pool in your gut. “Well I guess I’ll have to thank you, then,” you reply, smile present and voice light but the gratitude is real.
His scent - a mix of something warm and clean, almost earthy, and his cologne - cuts through the usual aroma of coffee beans and pastries. It’s grounding and you have to remind yourself to focus as you move toward the coffee machines.
“Do you want coffee?” you throw over your shoulder, fingers already hovering over the buttons.
Bucky straightens up in your peripherals and you make out the shake of his head with that soft smile on his face. “Don’t wanna keep you from work. I’ll make it myself, thanks doll!”
The door to the café swings open and three girls walk in together, laughter filling the room as they make their way over to you. Bucky’s movements snap your head back to him as he casually slips behind the counter, stepping up to the coffee machines and you head back to the register, keeping awareness of his presence as always.
Since Bucky’s shift doesn’t start yet, he stays lingering behind the counter and engages in conversation with Gina when he notices you getting busy again. From where you stand you can hear snippets of their conversation - Bucky asking about Nikita and when he gets to see him again.
You never realized they are that close but the thought of Bucky caring about that little boy instantly heats your skin. There’s a softness to imagining him in that role, and you can easily picture how good he must be with kids.
After all, you’ve seen it before - the way his face lights up when he catches sight of children toddling along beside their parents, the way he bends down to their height, engages them in little conversations that always leave them giggling or grinning from ear to ear. It’s endearing and really no wonder that every child he talks to seems to adore him.
But what really tugs at your heart, what causes a flutter deep in your chest, is the subtle way Bucky’s attention keeps drifting back to you.
Even in the middle of his chat with Gina, you can feel his gaze lingering on you. There is a quiet fondness in the way he watches you go about your work, always wearing that soft expression.
It’s not like he’s checking if you’re doing your job right - nothing about it feels critical or scrutinizing. Instead, it’s as if he’s simply enjoying observing you, absorbing the way you move through your tasks, as though he’s eager to learn all the little details that make up your routine.
And surprisingly, it doesn’t make you as nervous as you might have believed. If anything, there is something soothing about his attention, like a silent reassurance you never knew you needed.
Occasionally, throughout your shift, Bucky strikes up conversations with familiar customers - frequent flyers whose names he already knows by heart. You catch bits and pieces of their easy small talk, but even then, his eyes always find their way back to you.
And every time you meet them, your heart swells with hope that perhaps the reason he came in early for his shift might be you.
****
Your week has been nothing short of overwhelming and frustrating - packed with assignments, papers to write, and facts to memorize. To top it off, a fellow student had yelled at you for breaking his pen, and you still remember that disappointed glint in your professor's eyes after failing to give him satisfying answers in class.
It feels like you are constantly juggling everything at once, and somehow, the balance has tipped entirely.
Sleep has become a rare luxury, replaced by caffeine-fueled study sessions that stretch into the early hours of the morning.
As you walk to the café for your afternoon shift, a heavy sigh escapes your lips, the exhaustion settling in your bones.
You rarely work afternoon shifts, but this one fits perfectly behind your friday classes and you have been too swamped the rest of the week to pick up any shifts at all.
Your pace is slower than usual, feet dragging slightly on the pavement. There is no real need to hurry today. Normally, your steps would quicken as you approached the café, that familiar, sweet sign with its three big B’s always managing to lift your mood.
But today the excitement isn’t there. Not when you know Bucky has the day off. Without him there, the urgency to get to work just isn’t the same.
But, thinking about it, it might be for the best that Bucky is not around today. You can’t imagine you look all that appealing right now, with dark bags under your eyes - the kind that no amount of concealer could hide. Your skin has that worn-out, dull shimmer to it - the kind that no amount of caffeine could mask.
You catch a glimpse of your reflection in a shop window as you pass and wince slightly. The fatigue shows in your features, and for a moment, you’re thankful that this day won’t include the possibility of Bucky catching sight of you in this state.
You’re partly relieved to have a shift where you can simply focus on getting through it without feeling self-conscious. There is no need to hide how utterly drained you feel because you really couldn’t care less how your appearance would affect your customers. You just need to make it through these few hours, go home, and hopefully, finally get some rest.
You pull open the door, gathering what little composure you can muster. The all-known blend of rich coffee, baked pastries, and warm, cozy air greets you as always, along with the chatter from the packed room. It’s busy, as expected for this time of day, but the environment surprisingly helps ground you as you weave your way through the crowd, slipping between patrons.
Your eyes catch Winifred at the back, her beaming smile a quick but comforting sight before she disappears behind the office door with a wave.
Side-stepping two men chatting near the line, you get a clearer view of the counter and freeze - feet refusing to continue.
Thanks to the work schedule you know who your coworkers are today. Peter was assigned, as well as Wanda, a nice, but slightly odd girl with a thick accent and laser-like focus on her task.
You had prepared for them both. But it isn’t Wanda standing next to Peter behind the counter.
It’s Bucky.
Your heart jumps into your throat and you’re not sure if it’s because of the surprise of seeing him or because of how unprepared you feel in this exact moment. You didn’t even check your hair in a car window before entering.
He’s here - on his supposed day off - laughing with a guy on the other side of the counter as he works the espresso machine, his movements smooth and practiced; no surprise there. His presence is so casual and effortless that you find yourself thinking your tired eyes might have looked at the wrong day on the schedule and perhaps you aren’t even supposed to work today. Though Winifred wasn’t at all surprised to see you.
Your head spins at the simple thought and yet a ripple of warmth shoots through you at the sight of him, making you momentarily forget just how drained you are.
While every fiber of your being wants to feel self-conscious about your tired eyes and the imperfections on your skin, craving to stay hidden between the line of people, the longer you watch him work, it gets overtaken by something else.
That same old lightness that seems to follow him wherever he goes and sticks to you when you’re near enough, soaking into your veins and filling them with energy. You can practically feel them fizzle.
You would have liked to linger in this moment just a little longer, but it’s cut short abruptly when he spots you. His polite smile brightens instantly, eyebrows moving up slightly as his eyes lighten up.
You flash him a smile in return, though you can feel it wobble at the edges, probably more sheepish than anything else. Maybe it even comes off as a grimace with the exhaustion weighing on you, but you quickly break eye contact and resume walking.
For a moment, you make out Bucky’s hand pausing mid-motion, hovering above the counter before he slides a to-go cup to the waiting guy on the other side.
Passing by, you can feel his gaze trailing after you, burning softly against your skin, a quiet but intense presence that follows you even when you’re not looking.
You busy yourself with dialing in for the shift, wrapping your apron around your waist, doing your best to shake off the fatigue and the flutter that Bucky’s unexpected presence elicits in you.
From behind you, you catch the sound of his voice, though it sounds a little distracted, asking the next customer to repeat their order.
You glance back, quickly greeting Peter as you pass, but your focus is drawn to the pastry case, where a small woman waits for service. You keep your hands moving, bagging up her choice of pastries - two croissants and four scones - but make out Bucky’s head turning in your direction a few times.
You steal a glance at him from the corner of your eye, noticing the slight furrow in his brow as he works. He’s a little slower now, less sure in his movements than when you first walked in. It’s subtle, but you can tell his focus is slipping. Something about his energy has shifted.
Minutes pass and the three of you stay busy with the steady stream of customers. You remain behind the pastry case, preparing the treats for the eager crowd. In between transactions, you notice Bucky taking a step in your direction, hesitating each time like he wants to step closer but keeps pulling himself back at the last second.
He returns to the register every time, tending to the next person in line, but there is an urgency in his movements now. His hands got quicker again, fingers tapping impatiently against the counter as he waits for the coffee to brew and his gaze falls back to you every so often but you avoid it.
Another few minutes tick by and you begin to settle into the rhythm of the shift when a sudden shout rings out from the front.
Your head snaps up, eyes locking onto the group of people stepping back from the counter hastily, startled by the splash of coffee that arcs through the air.
The cup that had caused the commotion clinks against the counter, slipping in Bucky’s hand and his other one shoots out to hold it steady before it can meet the ground alongside the coffee that was in it moments before.
“Shit, I’m so sorry,” Bucky exclaims, his voice thick with frustration as he shakes his head at himself, wiping the spilled brown liquor from his hands. He quickly puts away the cup and apologizes again to the man it was meant for and the crowd of people who got startled.
The customer, a guy who looks to be in his mid-twenties, holds up his hands in a placating gesture, clearly not bothered by the accident. His jacket sleeve is stained with coffee, but he brushes it off with a casual shrug. “No worries, man, really. Nothing happened, you’re good!”
Bucky doesn’t seem to relax. You can see the tension in his jaw, the way his shoulders are still tight as he remakes the drink with stiff, almost mechanical precision. You’ve never seen him so rattled but then again, he has been unfocused ever since he saw you.
Work continues steadily for the next half hour, with the rush of patrons finally starting to taper off. The café gradually empties, the throng thinning out until only a handful of people remain, some of them sitting in booths going on with their conversations.
You catch sight of Bucky leaning in closer to Peter, murmuring something you can’t quite make out. Peter nods, and without another word and a small pat on Peter’s shoulder, Bucky steps back from the counter.
This time, his hesitation is gone as he strides over to you.
He stops beside you, eyes on your profile. “Hey,” he speaks softly, voice low.
You finish helping a boy, thanking him for the tip before turning to Bucky with a small smile.
“Hey,” you reply, voice matching his softness but quieter. You turn your attention to the young girl in front of you, requesting a cookie. Reaching for a bag to tuck the treat inside, you continue the conversation, though your eyes stay focused downward.
“Didn’t expect to see you here today,” you comment, sensing his gaze on you.
“Yeah, uh, I took Wanda’s shift,” Bucky responds, his voice a little more tentative now. You notice him shuffling slightly beside you, standing up straighter.
He offers no further explanation as to why he picked up the shift, and you don’t feel the energy to ask about it. For some reason, the simple act of bagging a cookie while talking to him feels like a juggling act your tired brain isn’t quite up for.
So all you manage is a noncommittal hum in response.
The girl leaves with her cookie and Bucky stays beside you, solid and unyielding in his gaze. It presses on you like a weight as the moments pass.
Your stomach flutters uneasily when you realize there’s no line left to distract you, no excuse to stay busy.
You move automatically, reaching for the paper bags, rearranging them with a bit more force than necessary, trying to give yourself something to focus on, something other than Bucky’s eyes burning into you.
“Are you okay?” he asks finally, slowly and lowly, as if the question is something private meant only for you. It is. You feel the shift in his tone, the way he leans in slightly as if he needs a sincere answer to his sincere question.
It pulls your attention to him and you reluctantly lift your head, your heart twisting at the sight. Bucky gazes down at you with an expression far more serious than you’ve ever seen. His blue eyes, usually filled with a glimmering light when he looks at you, hold an amount of concern that seems to have an impact on his stiff muscles.
“I’m fine, Bucky,” you declare gently, smiling at him in hopes it’ll reassure him, though even before the words have left your lips completely, you felt it wasn’t entirely convincing.
Bucky studies you a moment longer. His eyes trace your features, dark brows hanging low, but you don’t take your words back.
Then, after a pause he lets out a long drawn sigh, hanging his head in defeat. He obviously doesn’t believe you, but he doesn’t push it. The concern in his eyes remains but he lets it go, stepping back from you slowly.
He walks over to the coffee machines, deliberately trying to feign casualness. He grabs a cup and turns the familiar button after checking if Peter needs some help at the register, the whirring sound of brewing coffee filling the brief silence between you.
“You want some coffee?” he asks, like clockwork - just as he does every time you work together.
Without thinking, you open your mouth to decline, as usual. It’s almost muscle memory at this point, your automatic response. But then, mid-through, you pause. Another shot of caffeine can’t hurt. You can use the energy to get home safely without passing out after this shift.
The cup fills, steam rises, and Bucky turns to you when you take too long to answer.
You hesitate for a beat, then shift your gaze away, feeling a little awkward. “Yeah, I’ll take one,” you decide, stepping beside him to grab yourself a cup, eyes not moving to him.
But before you can reach for one, Bucky’s hand wraps gently around your wrist, halting you. The touch is light, but enough to make your pulse quicken. “Hold on,” he remarks, his voice filled with concern rather than confusion. “You never want coffee when I ask.” His intense eyes search your face again.
“If you always expect me to say no, then why do you keep asking?”
Bucky doesn’t respond immediately. He just keeps looking at you, quietly pleading for honesty. “That ain’t the point,” he softy counters but his voice carries insistence. “Something’s wrong.”
You sigh. God, you’re tired. You really need that coffee and you’d certainly feel terrible for getting annoyed at Bucky. He’s just trying to figure you out. He cares. That thought alone presses against the wall you’ve been trying to maintain all day.
Gently, you pull your wrist from his loose grip, and he lets his hand fall back to his side, though his gaze doesn’t waver.
“Nothing’s wrong.” Damn, that came out hollow. “I’m just a little stressed,” you add when he starts to shake his head, “and I could use a cup. It’s just coffee, Bucky.”
You see the muscles in his jaw tighten and his hand comes up to run through his hair.
“It’s not just coffee, darling,” he sighs. There’s a pause in which he assesses you again, then he continues. “Alright. Don’t take this the wrong way, doll. You know you’re a beautiful gal, but… you look like you’re about to drop dead.”
Your eyebrows shoot up. It looks like tiredness comes with an attitude, because your mind foregoes the part where he called you beautiful, only hearing the other side.
“Well.” You draw out the word. “If you don’t want me to drop dead, then let me have some coffee.” There is a bit of edge to your tone you hadn’t exactly intended, but you’re too tired to smooth it out. You also don’t wait for him to respond, quickly reaching for another cup and pressing the button before Bucky can grab your arm again.
Bucky stays quiet for a moment, watching you with those piercing blue eyes that seem to see right through your walls. He doesn’t look angry - just worried.
As the coffee pours you hear him take a breath. “Alright,” Bucky says quietly, almost under his breath. “I’m sorry, Y/n,” he adds after a short pause. Firmness, sincerity, and perhaps an amount of regret are all wrapped in his tone.
He used your name. You haven’t heard him say your name since the first time working here. And never with that much conviction.
“I didn’t mean to upset you. I’m just… worried.” His voice softens even more, it sounds almost pleading and he takes a quick glance back at Peter, who was busy attending to the few patrons mingling about, before refocusing on you, his hand brushing over his hair. “I’ve seen you stressed before. Like when you kept going on about how worried you were for that exam. I watched you go through the stuff you had to learn in your head while remaining so incredibly focused and sweet during work. I admire that, Y/n. I must’ve told you a thousand times you’d ace it, but you wouldn’t believe me.” He chuckles lowly, sheepishly, and he licks his lips, before continuing. His gaze leaves you, mind seemingly far in his memories.
“Or your first day here. You were so nervous about making a mistake. You asked so many questions, were so interested in everything. I kept thinking about you all day. Every day, really.” He took another deep breath. It comes out a little unsteady and his eyes quickly flicker over to you, not quite meeting your own, but still searching your features.
“But this… this is different, and- I don’t know. I don’t like it. Hate it, honestly. Seeing you like this.”
His words hit you deep. The genuine concern and sincerity in his tone make your chest tighten, throat closing up and you feel yourself losing your breath as he takes a small step closer, eyes now fully on yours again. The nerves in his voice that had been there are gone now. Because he’s sure of what he says next. It’s clear in his tone.
“But, sweetheart, even through it all, you still manage to be the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen. Drop dead gorgeous, honestly.”
You let out a surprised huff of laughter, partly because it’s easier than acknowledging and processing the meaning of his words. Heat creeps up your cheeks and all you feel like doing is bolt out of the door at the other end of the room but your feet are rooted to the spot. Perhaps, the floor would just give away and you’d fall deep down into the unknown.
That still would be kinder than standing in front of Bucky right now after his heavy confessions, feeling too vulnerable under his soft gaze.
You’re not able to meet his eyes, dropping your head. You know he is still looking at you. You don’t have to feel it to know it. That gentle expression, the reassuring smile - like he’s silently conveying that everything’s okay.
“Let me make you feel better, yeah?” Bucky’s voice is barely above a whisper, gentle, yet filled with intent. He gives you a moment, letting his earlier confessions sink in, before taking hold of the now full cup that is meant for you. Your eyes widen slightly when you see him grab the can of freshly steamed milk, an almost eager smile tugging at his lips.
“Are you pulling your latte art on me?” you ask with a light laugh, some of the tension in your chest loosening. There is a little bit of a teasing note in your voice now, your heartbeat beginning to slow.
“Sure am, doll!” Bucky grins proudly, lifting the cup higher. His brow furrows in concentration as he carefully pours the milk with a steady hand, his tongue briefly poking out as he narrows his eyes to get the design just right. You had seen him do this many times before but never for you.
The precision and dedication he’s giving to something as simple as your coffee makes your heart swell. You’re the one watching him now with a soft smile, utterly mesmerized by how serious he’s taking it.
You take a glance at the other cup - the one Bucky had made for himself and an idea hits you. Steam still rises from the liquid inside, the scent of fresh coffee meeting your nose.
You look around the counter, spotting the milk pot Peter had just set down and, without a second thought, you pick up Bucky’s cup, ready to return the favor. You lift the milk and begin to pour.
“What are you doing, doll?” Bucky’s gaze stays fixed on the cup in his hand, but his smile is beaming, curiosity lacing his words.
“I don’t think I need to tell you that,” you retort, your voice playful as you guide the milk with careful precision, weaving your hand in the practiced motions until you’re satisfied with the design.
Bucky’s chuckle is warm and soft and for a moment, it feels like the world shrinks down to just the two of you, the quiet intimacy cutting through the noise of the ebbing café.
Bucky finishes his work and sets the milk pot back down. There is a slight hesitation in his movements as he hands over the cup for you, a touch of nervousness creeping into his stance. You smile up at him and offer the cup in your hand to him. His hands are a little clammy as they touch yours. You swap coffees.
Your mouth falls open as you take a glance down into the cup. In the creamy white foam, a delicate rose is perfectly etched, its petals spiraling gracefully outward. Surrounding the rose are tiny, intricate hearts, floating around the bloom. The detail is so mesmerizing that all you can do is stare at it.
“This is incredible, Bucky,” you breathe out, voice filled with amazement. When you look up, he’s already watching you. He’s breathing deeply and his smile is in place. But there is also something in his eyes he doesn’t try to hold back - pure adoration, shining clearly like he just can’t hide it anymore.
He holds his own cup carefully, as if it’s something precious, something fragile, as if even the tiniest movement would mess up the heart in white swirling in his cup. Though, you feel like the simple heart pales in comparison to the masterpiece he’s created for you.
“It’s beautiful,” you say quietly, a hint of shyness in your tone. You feel a tiny amount of embarrassment but Bucky just keeps smiling, so warm and incredibly fond, that any hint of insecurity melts away.
“Learned it for you,” he admits it softly, his words slipping out like a secret he’s been holding onto for too long. Your heart skips a beat, eyes widening slightly before you look back down at the cup, tracing the design over and over again with your gaze.
“I love it, Bucky. I love these little hearts,” you address admiringly, almost dreamily.
Bucky is beaming above you, and although he shakes his head softly, his smile never leaves his face. He takes in a deep breath, seemingly needing to compose himself and looks down at his own cup, at the heart in it.
“Well,” he vocalizes, affection surrounded by a playful edge, “my heart’s bigger.”
You laugh, rolling your eyes playfully. “Don’t flatter yourself, Barnes. It’s the only thing I know how to do.”
He chuckles, that vibrating sound, that always makes your chest feel lighter. “I can teach you,” he offers, his bright blues looking deeply into your eyes, so full of affection that it makes your breath catch for a second.
And in that second - because that’s all it takes - everything shifts. For the better. Always for the better, because it’s hard to feel anything negative when Bucky smiles at you the way he does.
“you deserve
the kind of love
like hot coffee between your lips
that loves you gently
but makes you bold
and gives you life between the sips”
- a.b.
#elixirscafe#barista!Bucky#bucky barnes one shot#bucky barnes x reader#bucky barnes fanfiction#bucky fic#college!reader#marvel bucky barnes
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Tolerate It (series)
Synopsis: Life as Patrick Zweig’s controversially young girlfriend should have been a dream, but it was anything but. He was a broken man. You were a girl who knew all too well. Who’s to say whether you’ve got it wrong now…
★・・・・・・★・・・・・・★・・・・・・★
Paring: Patrick Zweig x reader
Word count: 2.2k
Warnings: smut, oral sex fem!receiving, p in v, bit of possessiveness, implied that reader is female, age gap relationship, angst, references to cheating, mentions of sending nudes
Notes: Thank you all so much for the love on the last part!!! Trust I have a vision for this story long term, I promise…we just gotta let it cook! As always, enjoy! :)
Previous part
★・・・・・・★・・・・・・★・・・・・・★
Part 2: Bloom and Grow
2019:
Since the whirlwind night you spent with Patrick, the two of you had become somewhat inseparable. He spent the rest of his time in New Rochelle staying in your apartment when he wasn’t playing. He broke it off with all the others he had been seeing casually at your request to try to see where this went. He wasn’t opposed. He didn’t have many better options anyways.
He continued with tour for a bit, still broke, but with some support now from you. It helped that you liked to spoil him. Not that you were in much of a place to, but you didn’t mind helping him out financially here and there. You understood it was hard on tour and he needed to make ends meet in between matches. He felt like such a failure, though. A washed up, 32-year-old tennis player dating an 18-year-old college student…a 32-year-old man paying for shit with money from his 18-year-old girlfriend. He was grateful for you; so sweet and good to him, but it didn’t change the fact that he was embarrassed.
“Class earlier was stupid, I mean, a lot of it is just a waste of my time really. They’re teaching me shit I already know…” you complained to Patrick on the phone. He murmured half-hearted ‘damn’s and ‘sorry’s in response, but you could hear his exhaustion through the phone. “Pat, you okay? You sound tired…we can talk later if you want.”
“No, no. Don’t worry, baby. Just had some bad matches today, that’s all. Doesn’t usually happen to me…” he chuckled sarcastically “you could say my ego’s a little bruised.” A frown crossed your face, but, of course, he couldn’t see your expression through the phone.
“I’m sorry about that…you work so hard. I’m sure tomorrow’ll be better,” you attempted to reassure him, hoping it’d at least make him feel like someone was in his corner. “Did I mention I’m out of school next week. It’s our fall break. I could come visit you on tour?” He was quiet for a moment before replying.
“You didn’t mention that actually…that’d be nice. I won’t be far, actually. The match is in the city…I could stay with you and commute?” He seemed to perk up at the idea of seeing each other in person again. After all, phone sex could only go so far.
“I’d love that,” you replied simply. It’d be nice to be with him again. You’d been missing him more than you’d let on.
Your relationship was an interesting one. The dynamic was odd. He clearly held more authority, being 32 after all, but you were the one with a more stable lifestyle. He also didn’t have anyone to tell about your relationship, nor did he really see a need to. On the flip side, you were so excited about dating such a man, but you didn’t want to tell anyone for fear of judgment at the age difference between the two of you and for fear that, him being a very minorly famous tennis player, you could garner him some sort of bad reputation he didn’t want. Of course, Patrick knew better, crucially aware of the fact that his fame in the tennis world had long faded. But he found it cute how you saw so much in him. Maybe he could do with seeing more of that in himself.
2029:
“Mrs. Zweig! A comment please, how do you feel about your husband’s retirement after such a long career?”
Cameras flashed between a somewhat uncomfortable silence as you thought over your answer, considering the conversation you and Patrick had had about this interview hours before.
“I’m very proud of him. He’s been playing a long time and has gotten to a point of success that we both feel accomplished in. I think now it’s time to focus more on living life and being normal people.” You spoke in reply. It was a bit off the cuff, but was close enough to what you had rehearsed.
“Mr. Zweig! You made your way back to a grand slam just a few months ago, how can you justify retiring when you’re on such a career high?”
A certain look flashed across Patrick’s eyes. None of them would catch it, but you did. ‘He doesn’t really want to retire,’ you thought.
“It’s uh- well…to be honest, I’m getting old,” he chuckled a bit, trying to seem informal “and I’d like to be able to spend more time on my family.” All the words were there, but his heart wasn’t exactly in it. He was a tennis player, after all, not an actor.
You knew he didn’t want any of this. Was doing it because it was this or your marriage would fall apart. And he couldn’t take that after everything you’d both been through.
2019:
Months had passed, and you and Patrick were surprisingly still going strong. He didn’t call as often, and neither did you, busy with finals, but you texted enough and you knew he missed you. He told you so. It was your two’s recent fixation…he’d say he missed you, you’d ask how much, he’d say “so much” with a frowny emoji, and then you’d send him a picture of your tits. He also tended to reply about 10 minutes after that with a brief “thanks.”
When he did call, it was a lot of the same. Tons of ‘I miss you’s and ‘wish I were there’s, which you found sweet. Maybe you were a bit foolish, but you were 18 after all.
He visited in December to celebrate the holidays before you went home for your real break. The visit was nice. In not seeing him for some time, you realized just how much you had missed him too.
“I’ll have to start asking you for pictures…” you mentioned half jokingly to him.
“Yeah baby? You miss me that much?” He asked cockily, looking at you with a shit eating grin. You both made out for a bit, pulling away occasionally to talk more about your respective lives or remark how much you’ve been longing to be together again, when suddenly Patrick’s phone buzzed.
It didn’t concern you, really. Phone’s buzz all the time. It was his reaction when he glanced at it that concerned you. It buzzed again…and again…and again. The fact that he wasn’t checking it after the first glance had you more worked up.
“Are you gonna check on that…?” You asked, worry seeping through your voice.
“It’s nothing- just my coach. Don’t worry.” He answered smoothly, running his fingers through your hair. This excuse, however, was more concerning than anything. You knew he didn’t have a coach…he couldn’t afford one. He must’ve let the fact that you knew that slip his mind in his time away.
You chose to ignore it and pretend to believe him, smiling then and kissing him again. “Missed this so much…” he whispered in between kisses. His hands found themselves tugging at the hem of your shirt as he broke the kiss, looking into your eyes with that same darkness you saw that first night. You nodded, a silent agreement, at which he pulled your shirt above your head, marveling at you. You reach back to take off your bra, smiling up at him, half because you genuinely had missed this, and half so as not to let on that you were extremely skeptical of what those messages were. “Missed these too,” he remarks as you are finally fully topless now.
He takes off his clothes in record time, reminded of how irresistible you were, and in need of release now. You’d be lying if you said you weren’t happy to see such desperation from him. It sort of quelled your racing mind. You reminded yourself that at the end of the day, he was yours, and you were his. You were broken out of your thoughts at the feeling of his lips trailing down your neck. “I need you baby…” he mumbled against your soft skin. ‘That’s good to know,’ you thought to yourself. You let out a sigh, more at your own worries than his words, but you couldn’t deny you were enjoying this regardless. The two of you make your way to your bed, where you first found yourselves months ago, and waste no time.
He trails kisses down your neck to your chest, down your stomach, and finally to your thighs. He looks up at you like a man starved, eyebrows furrowing as he silently begs permission to touch you. He knew he didn’t need to…but that was just how he was. You thought it was gentlemanly; yet another reason you were probably overthinking the messages. You nodded yet again, not in the mood for words for a number of reasons, and he was eager to oblige. Bunching your skirt around your waist, not even bothering to take it off, he pulls your panties to the side, observing your dripping cunt. “She’s so wet for me…you did miss me, huh?” It felt more like he was talking to your pussy than you…but you didn’t mind. He runs a finger through your folds, teasing your needy hole. He leans in, placing gentle kisses around your thighs, but not where you need him most.
“Patrick, please…” you practically moaned, looking down at him hopelessly. You weren’t exactly sure if you were asking him to touch you or to stick by you, but it didn’t matter in the moment. You just knew you needed him. In every sense of it. He looked up at you with a devilish smirk before diving in, his nose brushing against your sensitive clit as his tongue lapped at you. You moaned at the sudden surge of pleasure you felt. This was what you needed. He slurped away, eventually adding one, then another one of his fingers to help finish the job. You felt your high coming quickly, and suddenly something came over you. You weren’t usually like this, but your thoughts had taken over, bleeding into the pleasure you felt. “Pat…,” you asked in between breathless moans.
“Mhmm,” he hummed in response, looking at up you while tonguing your clit. The buzz of his hum was hard to ignore, but you somehow kept your focus.
“I’m yours, right?” You looked at him again with a hopeless expression painted across your features.
“Mhmm,” he hummed again, smirking into your pussy.
You gasped, then replied through your moans. “S- say -fuck- say you’re mine. P- please.” He looked up at you, stopping his work suddenly. His eyes were lidded, as if he was drunk off of you. He offered you a lazy smile, then crawled up from your thighs to prop himself up directly on top of you.
“Baby,” he cooed tenderly, leaning down as if doing a push up to kiss you sweetly, “of course I’m yours. I’m all yours, doll.” He kissed you again, the stubble of his beard scratching you a bit, but in the best way. From this new position, he lined himself up at your entrance, looking down at you. “Y’ready for me?”
“I’m all yours, Patrick…” you whispered in response. That was enough for him, then slamming his hips into you at a rigorous pace. Pleasure like this was a lot to handle, you weren’t used to him, since he’d been gone so long, but this was exactly what you had been craving. His gaze didn’t waver from you, as he thrust in and out, maintaining eye contact as you fell apart beneath him, reaching your high as that invisible coil in your stomach snapped. “Oh- fuck, I’m yours Patrick…all yours- fuck.”
His release came not long after yours, pulling out and pumping himself onto your stomach with a smooth grin gracing his face. He collapsed beside you for a moment, catching his breath before getting up to go get a washcloth. “Here you go baby, lemme clean you up,” he murmured, wiping the warm, damp washcloth across your stomach and thighs. “I’m gonna jump in the shower real quick…wanna join?” He smirked at you, eyes hopeful, but you shook your head. You were tired anyways. And an unknown answer to a question was still lingering in your mind…
“All right beautiful, I’ll be out soon,” he said, kissing your forehead before heading to the bathroom.
You waited ti you heard the water running to reach over to the nightstand, checking his phone. You weren’t surprised, unfortunately, but from what you discovered, you were very hurt.
“Miss you all the way from Savannah. When are you coming back to me babe?”
There were pictures underneath that message, but you couldn’t bear to look. To think that after all of that, he could’ve been seeing who knows how many people on tour…it broke you a bit. You wanted to scream or cry or throw something, but you didn’t. Hearing the water turn off, you knew Patrick would be out any minute. He always took such quick showers. You closed his phone quickly, putting it back on the bedside table and rolling over as if nothing had happened. You intended to continue to act that way as long as you could…so he was sleeping around on tour…maybe you had just gotten it wrong? Maybe you weren’t as exclusive as you had thought?
#challengers#patrick zweig#patrick zweig angst#patrick zweig fic#patrick zweig x reader#patrick zweig smut#challengers movie#challengers smut#challengers angst#challenger fic#patrick zweig fluff#tolerate it series
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i never could've seen you coming (i think you're everything i've wanted) - nico hischier
pairing: nico hischier x original female character
warnings: swearing, mentions of death and cancer, a substantial amount of grief, so much fluff, medical school inaccuracies probably, angst if you squint, way too many mentions of all three hughes brothers..like an absurd amount (but it's part of the plot, i promise)
title: "the blue" by gracie abrams
word count: 19.7k (whoops!)
author's note: got WAY too carried away with this one lol so you may see more of this little au bc i really fell in love with it. this turned almost into a study on found family / siblinghood?? i hope you all enjoy it just as much as i enjoyed writing it and creating this little world. takes place in the 2023-2024 season.
*****
In hindsight, it probably would’ve been smarter to live closer to work and actually be in the city. But when word got around — well, her mother telling her best friend — that Clementine was going to be even close to New Jersey, she had, in order, Luke, Quinn and Jack texting her within an hour of each other.
Lukey Hughes
Clemmy!! Congrats on the residency. Heard you’re gonna be across the river from jersey?? 👀
Quinny Hughes
Congrats on NYU! I’m happy you get to go back east even though I won’t get to see you as often. Don’t let Luke or Jack annoy you too much. Love and miss you! ❤️
Jacky Hughes
CLEMENTINE
you’re coming to new york????
you have to live with me please please please it’s not that far
and luke will probably be here next season and ik he’s your favorite
When Clementine Sandoval found out she was placed at NYU Langone for her combined emergency room and pediatrics residency, she thought two things. Holy shit, she actually has made it this far. And holy shit, she’s excited to go back closer to home, after spending undergrad and med school in the west coast. She’s found a love for California, but nothing beats the east.
She called Jack for his birthday days after the Devils got knocked out of playoffs. She doesn’t get to talk to Jack and Luke — any of the Hughes brothers, really — as often as she’d like. She sees them even less, ever since she left for California and they moved away to Michigan from Toronto. She always tries to see Quinn and Jack whenever they come out to play at San Jose, but otherwise, that’s it. She hasn’t seen Luke since the Hughes family graciously invited her and her mom to Luke’s draft almost two years ago. So whenever she does get a chance to catch up with her childhood friends, it’s always a treat.
It took Jack — and Luke — exactly 34 minutes over the phone to convince her to move in with them. The largest part of the discussion was how much money she’d contribute for rent. She was adamant to split it three ways evenly. Jack shot that down immediately, and that resulted in a slight — read: intense — disagreement (“I don’t give a fuck that you’re making $8 million a year, Jack Rowden. I’m paying my part of the rent.”). He refused to back down, and they came to an amount that she was semi-happy with, though she insisted that she’d be in charge of buying groceries. Deep down, she knows he and Luke will fight her on that too.
She finished out med school, went on a 10-day vacation to Europe with her friends and went back to her mom’s place in Massachusetts for a weekend, where she grabbed the key that Jack had shipped to her. Her mom helped her pack the car, and off she went to Hoboken, where she’d be living by herself in the extremely spacious apartment until Jack (and Luke) came back for pre-season in September.
Residency started off without a hitch, Clementine loving the fact that she got to actually work with patients more. The commute to the hospital isn’t ideal — a 10 minute drive to the station before hopping on the train for almost 45 minutes — but after years of having to drive around everywhere for years, it doesn’t faze her much. It’s a time to decompress after a long shift and reflect or wake herself up for the long day ahead, and it gives her time to read or listen to music or podcasts on the train. Some of her fellow residents live nearby and are always gracious enough to let her crash on their couch after particularly grueling shifts. The first two months are peaceful if tiring, the apartment always being a welcomed silence when she walks in.
Early September arrives, and she’s coming home after an overnight shift when she walks out of the elevator to the apartment. She thinks she might hear voices coming from inside her apartment, but they’re more likely in her exhausted brain, so she turns her key and pushes open the door.
It takes her a moment while taking off her shoes to freeze. There are voices in the apartment. She carefully walks towards the voices, heart starting to race, before it immediately calms down and relief washes over her.
“Jesus Christ! A warning would’ve been nice. I thought someone broke in.”
All three Hughes brothers turn their heads towards her, all looking a bit worse for wear probably due to the fact that it’s just past 7 am. Though it’s nothing Clementine hasn’t seen before. When your mothers are still really close after playing soccer together at UNH and both families happen to settle down in nearby towns in the suburbs of Toronto, you’ve all seen each other the morning after sleepovers. When you’re an only child and call these three your brothers, you’ve practically seen everything. They all blink at each other before someone — Jack — comes to their senses.
“Clee!” Jack exclaims, sliding in his socks across the floor to pull her into a very tight hug. She feels gross and probably doesn’t smell much better, but she can’t bring herself to care as she hugs Jack, smile widening when she feels both Quinn and Luke putting their arms around her as she’s put in the middle of a group hug. They eventually let go, and then she hugs them all individually.
She pouts, looking up at Luke. “This is so unfair. You’re so much taller than me now.”
Luke smirks, ruffling her hair. “Good to see you too, Clemmy.”
She beams up at him. “Happy birthday, by the way. Big 20!”
“Thank you.”
She yawns. “So what’s going on? I thought you two weren’t supposed to be back until next week.” She points at Quinn. “And what are you doing here?”
“Not happy to see us?” Quinn teases.
“Always happy to see you guys. But I did just have an overnight shift and I need to be in bed within the next 20 minutes.”
“We know.” Jack says excitedly. “Did you not suspect anything when I was asking specific questions about your schedule for this week?”
She thinks back to the last time she FaceTimed Jack. He did seem awfully inquisitive. She shrugs. “I’m too old and tired to question your antics anymore, Jacky.”
“You’re only 26?”
“And you just turned 20. I’m old.” she says to Luke as he passes her a glass of water. “Quinny, aren’t you supposed to be in Vancouver soon?”
“Yeah, actually. I’m only here for the day to go to the US Open and celebrate Moose’s birthday. I’m on a flight out tomorrow at noon.”
She pouts, but her heart warms at the reminder that these three are still so close. “So soon.”
“Captain duties, am I right?” Jack says.
It takes her a moment to realize what he just said before her jaw drops and she whips her head towards the eldest Hughes. “Are you serious?” Quinn just nods sheepishly. “Quinn!” She wraps him in another hug again. “That’s incredible. Oh my goodness. Congratulations!”
“Thanks, Clem.”
She places her hands on his cheeks. “I’m so proud of you. Not surprising at all though. Do Ellen and Jim know? I bet they’re pumped.”
“Yeah, they do. It won’t get announced until Monday though.”
“That’s awesome. Holy shit, Quinn.” She looks at the younger two. “So are you guys back for good?”
“I am. Jack isn’t. He has to go to Vegas for media day the day after tomorrow.”
She blinks. “I’m confused. Then why the fuck are you all here? You could’ve just gone to Vegas early or something. Or not make the trip here and come back when you have to be back.”
“To see you, duh. I wanted to see you on my birthday, and it’ll be awhile until we’re all in the same place again.” Luke shrugs. Like it’s not a big deal. Like they didn’t just fly from wherever the fuck to Jersey for barely a day before two of them have to fly back across the country because they wanted to see her and be together.
“God, I-just,” she yawns. “That’s so disgustingly sweet. And I love you three. I really do. But-”
“You need sleep, yeah. We figured. Well, good news for you, you’re not needed until later anyways!” Jack beams.
She blinks. “What’s later?”
“We’re heading to Aunt Lara’s to celebrate Luke’s birthday. Mostly an excuse for some of the family to gather one last time for the summer.” Jack says.
“Also to celebrate Quinn getting captain,” Luke adds with a small eye roll.
“And I’m assuming I’m coming to that?”
Jack blinks like she’s being ridiculous. “Uh, duh. And I know you have a day off tomorrow, so you can’t use that as an excuse. Geegs wants to see you. Everyone wants to see you, to be honest. Mom’s making your favorite just for you.”
She lights up. “Her pumpkin pie?”
“Yup.”
“I’ll be there,” she salutes to them as she stops at her bedroom archway. “Have fun watching tennis. I’ll see you when you get back?”
“Mmhmm. We’ll drive there together.”
“Brilliant,” she blows them all a kiss. “Goodnight. Or good morning. Whatever.” They all snicker as she goes into her bedroom, beelining for the shower.
She emerges from her bedroom again at around 1:30 p.m., her stomach begging for food. She wipes the sleep away from her eyes as she heads towards the kitchen. She reaches for the coffee machine and pauses when she sees a sticky note on the handle of the pot.
Left some pasta for you in the fridge. xoxo Quinn
She smiles, making herself a cup of coffee before opening the fridge and reheating the chicken alfredo pasta. She waits for the microwave to beep by checking her phone for the news and any unread messages (the only one being from Ellen, who’s thrilled that she’s coming by tonight.)
After eating, she realizes she should probably get something to bring tonight, and ventures a few blocks to a nearby florist. Fresh flowers can’t hurt, right? After she pays for the bouquet, she has a double take walking by the bakery she only treats herself to after an especially exhausting day. Luke has always been weak for chocolate chip cookies, and this bakery does them like no other. She grabs a box of a dozen.
Around an hour later, the front door opens again and Luke practically vibrates at the smell of the still-fresh cookies on the counter. All three of them dig in as she quickly changes, putting on a basic blue sundress and pulling out a sweater in case she gets cold. It feels like it’s been forever since she’s worn anything that isn’t scrubs. She spritzes some perfume on and ties on three very important friendship bracelets that have somehow not fallen apart even after almost a decade.
As expected, when she walks out, Quinn’s the one who notices what’s on her wrist first. He grins, surprised. “I didn’t know you still had those.”
She shrugs, fiddling with the loose threads. “They were very important to me. They still are.”
Jack stops chewing and his eyes widen, finally realizing. “Holy shit, Clee. We made those for you, like..”
“Right before I left for college? Yeah.” She takes the last bit of a cookie out of Luke’s hand. He doesn’t even bat an eye. “I don’t wear them as often anymore because I don’t want the possibility of them getting ruined or losing them at the hospital or anything. You know I wore them when I opened my acceptance letter into Stanford, right? And I wore them under my shirt when I had my interview with NYU.” She thinks she sees Quinn’s eyes water. She definitely knows she sees Luke swallowing roughly as Jack stares at her with some sort of reverence in his eyes. But she also knows her boys and just shrugs, changing the subject to make them more comfortable again. “We leaving soon?”
“Yeah. Let me just take a piss,” Luke says as he walks towards the bathroom.
“I call dibs after!” Quinn calls out.
“What the fuck?” Jack exclaims. “I need to go really bad too.”
“Just go to the one in my room, Jack.” She says, rolling her eyes. He huffs, giving Quinn a glare before disappearing into her bedroom. She sits down in the chair that Jack had just been occupying. “God, I can’t believe I’m gonna be living with those two. Am I regressing?”
Quinn snorts, “Probably. How is residency, by the way?”
She sighs. “Good. Busy and tiring and really fucking hard, but that’s to be expected. I’m currently in the NICU, so it’s been interesting seeing all the babies and the reasons they’re in there for. They’re also just so fragile, which, obviously, but it’s been good. I really love it.”
Quinn hums thoughtfully. “That’s badass, honestly. But everything you do is badass in my eyes.”
“Well, it’s quite badass in my eyes that one of my dearest friends is the captain of the Vancouver Canucks at 23.”
She feels a bit of a thrill at the blush that so easily paints his cheeks. “Nothing compared to you saving lives.”
“Hey,” she warns. “None of that here. We don’t do that.”
He just nods, leaning in to kiss her temple gently. “I’m sad that I’m gonna be seeing you less now, but I’m so happy for you. Least I’ll worry less about Jack and Luke now that you’re here.”
“Oh please. You’ll always worry about them.”
He hums, not even giving an answer because they both know the truth. She wraps an arm around his waist, tucking herself into his side and even though he’s standing and she’s sitting, she feels the most comfort she’s felt in awhile.
Nothing brings her peace like these three boys, who have always believed in her and loved her before she was anything. They could be shouting at each other and never let her get a word in and she would still feel right at home
Later that night, as she’s catching up with everyone and eating Ellen’s pumpkin pie, she’s reminded that this whole family has always brought her peace. Ellen has always said she’s like the daughter she always wanted and Jim has always been like a father to her, especially the last decade. Geegs treats her just like she treats all her grandchildren, fussing over her and insisting that she needs to eat more because “you must be so stressed all the time at the hospital, running around and saving lives.” Everyone important and close to them have always known that the Hughes brothers and Clementine are the kind of package deal that will always be strong, even if it spans countries. It’s the three boys and Clementine always.
As she watches everyone sing happy birthday to Luke, watching him tower over everybody, his face poorly lit with the candles, she places both her hands over her heart while he blows the candles and everyone cheers.
This chapter of her life is already shaping up to be pretty damn good.
…..
She’s had October 12 circled in her calendar ever since Jack convinced her to move in. The day of the regular season home opener of the Devils.
After her shift, she ducks into the staff bathroom and changes into leggings and a Devils jersey, Hughes and 86 on the back. Jack and Luke lost some sort of bet that had the latter pouting and the former in absolute glee. She had just rolled her eyes. She’d just wear her 43 jersey to the next game.
As she’s clocking out, one of her fellow residents and probably the one she’s closest to, Emilia, just raises an eyebrow. “Didn’t know you were a hockey fan.”
Clementine shrugs, swiping her ID card through the reader. She never distinctly mentions her relations to America’s Hockey Family or whatever the hell the media calls them unless directly asked, but she’s sure she’s dropped some hints at happy hour, especially when asked why she’s living in Jersey. “Practically grew up with three of them. Osmosis, perhaps.”
Emilia must connect the dots because she offers a small smile. “My husband’s a big Rangers fan, so don’t tell him I said this, but Jack’s fun to watch. He’s shifty.” She laughs and bids her friend farewell, walking towards the elevator.
Jack and Luke got her a seat in one of the boxes that’s reserved for family and significant others, the home opener bringing in a larger crowd than usual. She doesn’t know anyone, but that’s okay, because right when she walks into the box, a beautiful blonde strolls over and introduces herself with a big smile. You must be Clementine. I’m Ryleigh, she says, Dawson’s girlfriend. Jack told her to be on the lookout for her.
She makes quick friends with Ryleigh as they grab a drink and situate themselves. The younger girl introduces Clementine to Kristen, her adorable boy Henrik and Barbora and her sweet girl Adelka. She kneels down to play with both kids, mindlessly answering questions about her life from the women. It’s refreshing getting to speak to people about things that aren’t solely residency or medical school related.
God, she needs to get out more.
The opening night celebrations are fun, and she cheers extra loudly when Jack and Luke’s names get called. Everyone’s on a high after a 4-3 win, and Clementine dutifully follows Ryleigh and everyone else out of the box and some tunnels that somehow lead towards the locker room. Her stomach is filled, thanks to the food and the drinks, and she’s happily buzzing. She’s excited to be able to hopefully watch more games now that she’s living here.
Around 30 minutes later, both Jack and Dawson come out at the same time. She briefly watches as the couple embraces before Ryleigh turns to introduce Clementine, who smiles as Dawson wraps her in a friendly hug. She bids them both goodbye as they walk out.
“Clee! Did you see my goals?” Jack says after she hugs him, ruffling her hair.
She rolls her eyes with a smile, adjusting his collar. “Of course I did. Saw the two penalties too. Good game, Jackson.”
He beams like a child who just got a gold sticker. “Thank you.”
“Where’s Luke?”
“Taking his sweet ass time.”
She instinctively shoves him. “Be nice.”
Jack opens his mouth, no doubt about to say something snarky, before something beyond her shoulder catches his attention. “Neeks! Come here for a second.” She turns around to see maybe one of the prettiest guys she’s ever seen in her life. Obviously, she knows who Nico Hischier is, but goddamn, is he beautiful up close.
She sticks out her hand with a small smile. “Captain. It’s nice to meet you.”
“Just Nico’s fine,” he smiles, shaking her hand before running his hand through his hair. Gosh, he’s cute. “You must be Clementine. I’ve heard a lot about you.”
She automatically grimaces. “Oh no.” She turns to Jack. “Are you just as mean to me behind my back as you are to my face?”
Jack’s jaw drops. “Absolutely not! I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m so nice to you.”
Nico laughs. “It’s all good things, I promise. And anyone who has dealt with Jack since he was a kid is a good person in my book.”
“Hey!” Jack says indignantly. “Clee loves me.”
Both Clementine and Nico decide promptly to ignore him. “You’re living with Jack and Luke now, right?” Nico asks.
“Yeah. It’s cheaper than living in the city, and it’s nice to have them around again.” She says. Jack beams.
“You were out west before?”
Shit. Does Jack talk about her that much? “I was. I did my undergrad at UCLA, and then went to Stanford for med school. So the last eight years, I’ve been a west coaster.”
“But back east now?”
“Back east now.”
“For..residency? Right? Is that the next step?”
“Yup. I just started my residency at NYU in July,” she grins cheekily at Jack. “And now I get to bother this one all the time.”
Luke comes out and brightens up, adjusting his beanie. “Hi Clemmy!”
“Hey Lukey,” she goes on her tiptoes to give him a hug. “Good game.”
“Thanks,” he mutters into her shoulder before pulling away. “I’m hungry. Do we still have the chicken you made yesterday?”
She snorts. “Yeah. Unless someone ate it during the day.”
“Yay,” Luke says sleepily. “How was work?”
“Not as tiring as playing a game, I’m sure.”
Luke pulls a face. “Liar. You’re a doctor. And you deal with kids all day.”
“I’m barely a doctor. And I love kids.”
“Still.”
Jack snorts. “I think we should get the big baby to bed.” He expertly avoids Luke’s slap. “See you tomorrow, Hisch?”
Nico nods. “Get some rest, you two. Good game. And it was nice to meet you, Clementine. I hope I see you around more often.”
Clementine grins. “You too, Nico. See you around.” She puts her arms around both Jack and Luke’s shoulder. Or tries to. “Drive me home, friends.”
In the car, as she’s in the backseat and looking outside the window, after Jack discreetly nudges him, Luke turns around to look at her. “So, Cap, huh? He’s a pretty good looking guy.”
She immediately knows what they’re trying to do. “Absolutely not, Luke. You are way too young to be trying to set me up.”
“What?” Luke whines. “I’m just saying. I saw you two eyeing each other up.”
“You’re seeing things.”
“Wait,” Jack says, making a left turn. “Moose, you might be onto something here.”
“I know I am.” Luke says, in a matter-of-fact voice that it seems like only youngest children can get away with. “Clemmy, you have to admit that Nico’s cute.”
‘Okay, sure. He’s objectively attractive. I could say the same thing about you. Or Jack. Or Quinn.”
“Ew,” Jack says, like the middle child he is. “Also, you’re totally his type. Pretty. Smart as hell. Lowkey. Doesn’t care that he plays hockey.”
“I’m also a resident right now, so I got no time to date, Jacky.”
“You’ve never had time to date,” Jack points out. “When was the last time you went on a date anyway?”
“A few months ago!” She says hotly. She will not let them know that her romantic life has been dry for years.
“With who?” Luke shoots back.
“Another resident, actually. Thank you very much.”
Jack snorts. “And how did that go?” She pouts. “Exactly,” Jack says. “Maybe the key is to expand your horizons. Get away from the snobby doctors you always complain about.”
“Let it go, Jackson.” She warns. “Before I start harping on you two about your love lives. If you bring girls home, keep it confined to your rooms. And don’t even think about giving them my shit.”
They both cackle as the light turns green, exchanging knowing looks that Clementine misses.
…..
She’s coming back from a brutal overnight shift when a familiar voice asks her to hold the elevator door open. She blinks as Nico blinks back, dressed in a sweatshirt and sweatpants. He looks awfully cozy. She can imagine that she looks like she got chewed and spit back out.
She musters a smile. “Hey there.”
“Good morning,” he smiles back. “You coming back from work?”
“Yup.” She presses the button for 17 as the doors shut. “What are you and Jack and Luke up to today?”
“Not sure. I think some of us are going out to breakfast. Would you like to come?”
She chuckles, leaning her back against the wall. “I appreciate the invite, truly. I just feel like if I have to be awake for 10 more minutes, I might collapse.”
He bites his lip and stares down at his feet. She thinks it’s endearing. “Right. Sorry. Of course you’re tired.”
“Don’t be sorry,” she says. “Residency life is weird. Almost as weird as a hockey player’s.”
The doors open and Nico nods for her to go through first. “I don’t know about that. I live a pretty simple life.”
“Interesting way to define simple, Captain.” She teases. And he shrugs modestly. Clementine starts to wonder if there’s any arrogant bone in his body. He waits as she unlocks the door, closing it behind her. She walks in to see Jack pouring out a glass of juice and Luke sitting on the couch. “Found someone who may be of interest on my way up.”
She listens to Nico greet the two as she puts her bag down and lets her hair out of her ratty ponytail. “Wanna come to breakfast with us?” Luke asks with a hopeful smile.
“Sorry, Lukey,” she says apologetically. “I’m literally a walking zombie right now. Another time?”
He pouts. “Fine. I miss you though. I feel like you’ve been MIA.”
“I wasn’t the one who was just on a long ass roadie,” she points out, giving Jack a side hug.
Nico looks around. “You guys do something different with the place? It looks different from what I remember.”
“We gave Clee free reign to spice it up a bit when she came here in the summer.”
Nico hums. “It looks nice. More…”
“Lived in? Homey? Clean?” She jokes, downing a glass of water.
The captain laughs. She watches his dimples deepen and blinks to herself several times. “All of the above,” he says. “I especially like the pillows.”
She beams. “Thank you. My mom embroidered the pillowcases.”
“Are you sure you don’t wanna come with us, Clee?” Jack begs. “We promise it’ll be quick.”
“Next time,” she promises. “I’m so, so tired.”
Nico clears his throat. “The team’s having a Friendsgiving thing in a couple of weeks since we’ll be on the road during actual Thanksgiving. I don’t know if these two have mentioned it yet, but you’re totally invited. It’s just gonna be the team and their families or whoever else they want to bring.”
“Is it at your place?” Clementine asks.
“No.”
“So is it really your invite to extend? I don’t want to intrude.”
Jack rolls his eyes. “I was gonna ask you tonight. Hisch just beat me to it. It’s at Toff’s place. Of course you’re invited, so please come.”
She yawns. “Unless I have an overnight again, I’ll be sure to come. And even if I do, I’ll try to reschedule.”
“Atta girl,” Jack says. “You really need to get out more.” Clementine just flips him off, making Luke and Nico laugh.
“Enjoy your day, boys.” She calls out as she walks to her room. She hears them all yell out some sort of response before closing her door.
(As soon as she closes the door, Jack nudges Nico’s shoulder with his. “Make it less obvious, dude.”
Nico’s eyebrows scrunch together in confusion. “Make what less obvious?”
“That you’re interested in Clemmy.” Luke says dryly from the couch. “That’s basically our sister.”
“What?” Nico hisses, aware that she’s right down the hall. “I don’t-I mean, yeah she’s pretty. But I barely know her.”
“But you want to. You’ve wanted to ever since we showed you pictures of her,” Nico doesn’t even have the chance to defend himself as Jack smirks like the menace he is. “Don’t worry, Cap. One day you’ll catch her when she’s not sleep deprived and acting as an actual human being and you’ll be able to sweep her off her feet.”
Nico swallows. “She doesn’t seem like the kind of person who’d fall for that.”
“She wouldn’t. Which is why you’re perfect. So many of my friends throughout the years have tried to hit on her. Hasn’t worked once.”
“Aren’t you, like, four years younger than her?” Nico says. “That’s probably why.”
Luke scoffs. “Good point.” He’s been less pushy about it compared to Jack, partially because he’s not as comfortable with Nico yet and partially because he’s not Jack. “She’s a good one though, Cap. You’d be lucky.” He says.
Nico just nods.)
Early the next week when Clementine goes in, she finds out that one of her babies in the NICU she had been taking care of had died. It’s not necessarily the first time she’s dealt with death in her young career, but it’s still not easy. She goes through the rest of the day robotically, simultaneously trying to pick apart what she could’ve done differently while trying to forget about it completely.
The only upside — if there is one — was that she wasn’t there when the baby’s parents were told. Fuck, she’s not looking forward to when she has to do that one day.
During her lunch break, she calls Jack.
“Hello?”
“Jacky?”
“Clee? Is everything okay?”
She swallows. “I’m sorry. I can’t keep track. Do you have a game tonight?”
“No. Day off today. Game tomorrow. What’s wrong? Aren’t you at work?”
“Yeah. I am. Uh, what were you planning on doing tonight?”
“Nico’s coming over and we were just gonna chill. Luke’s going on a date, I think. Or doing something. Shit, I swear I told you.”
She blinks. “You probably did. I just, sorry. I haven’t been-”
“Stop apologizing,” Jack chastises. “How about we get take out from your favorite Greek place and have a movie night? I can tell Nico to come by another time.”
“No, no! Of course Nico can come. It’s your place.”
“It’s yours now too.”
She swallows. “He can come by. Greek food sounds really good though.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.”
“Okay. I’ll order some. Do you want me to go into the city to get you after work?”
“Fuck no. Are you crazy? That would be the worst drive.”
“Are you sure? I don’t mind. Clee, I don’t wanna-you don’t sound like you’re okay.”
She tries to steady her voice. Worrying Jack is the last thing she wants to do. “I’m okay, Jacky. I promise. As long as you have the Greek food ready when I’m home.”
“You got it,” Jack softens. “I love you, Clementine.”
“Love you too. I’ll see you later.”
“Bye.”
When she finally makes her way back to Hoboken, she feels a bit better. She hears murmured voices right before she unlocks the front door.
“Hey,” she greets Jack and Nico.
Jack barrels over, hugging her tightly with a smile. She involuntarily lets out a relieved sigh. “Lucky timing. I just got the food.”
“Lovely. Let me just take a quick shower and change and I’ll be right out.” She gives Nico a quick but friendly smile. “Hi Nico.”
“Hey Clementine.”
“Be right back.” She takes a quick shower and throws on leggings and a UCLA sweatshirt, choosing to let her hair air dry. When she comes back out, food from her favorite Greek place in Jersey that she discovered over the summer is laid out, along with a glass of iced tea. She could cry.
“Long day?” Jack asks.
She snorts, digging into her grape leaves. “You could say that. What’s been going on with you two?”
Jack knows her well enough by now that this is permission for him to ramble about anything and everything, from the more-than-usual brutal game last night against the Stars to how shitty his fantasy team is doing this week. Clementine just munches on her food while the two hockey players talk amongst themselves, her chiming in every once in awhile. She learns more about the girl Luke is currently on a date with (which isn’t saying much, because Jack barely knows anything and Nico knows even less) and complains that none of the brothers tell her these things. She only just found out that Quinn’s in a serious relationship. When Jack tries to protest with that fact she’s literally been on the other side of the country for the last eight years, she doesn’t wanna hear it.
She finishes her iced tea. “How about you, Nico? You got any siblings?”
“Uh, yeah. An older brother and an older sister.”
“You close with them?
“Extremely.”
“Do they tell you who they’re dating and do you tell them who you’re dating?”
He hesitates. “Usually, yes.”
She gives Jack a pointed look. “See? Be like Nico.”
Jack snorts. “Please. If I were more like Neeks, you would have no one to pick on. Nico’s too perfect.”
She raises an eyebrow, shifting her gaze to Nico and she thinks she sees him blush. Nico clears his throat. “I don’t know about that.”
“Also, never listen to Clee. I’m her least favorite. She always makes fun of me.”
“Not true,” she shoots back. “You’re all my favorites.”
“What are siblings for if not for humbling you?” Nico asks. “I’m sure if you didn’t have Clementine here around growing up, your head would be way bigger than it already is.”
“Captain’s got a point,” she sings, gathering their trash. She waves both guys away when they reach out to help. “Season’s been pretty good so far, right?”
“Thought you would be too scatterbrained to be keeping track.” Jack retorts.
“Doesn’t mean I don’t check the scores when I can.” She says, poking his side. Jack yelps.
“You know what? Maybe you deserve to be her least favorite,” Nico jokes. “You’re so mean to her.”
“Hey!” Jack protests.
“Thank you, Nico.” Clementine beams. “Finally, someone with sense around here. You gotta come around more.”
“Season’s going well, thank you for asking.” Jack sasses. “Oh, that reminds me. Trevor asked me if you were gonna come to the game when the Ducks are in town. Demanded, actually. Said that it’s been too long since he’s seen you and that he misses you. Not like you used to get to see him when you were in California or anything.”
She rolls her eyes. “When is he in town?”
“Sometime in December, I think.”
“Then yeah. I’ll be there. Not like I have a life outside of work anyways, as you always remind me.”
“You know Zegras?” Nico asks, before shaking his head. “Actually, yeah. Of course you do, if you grew up with Jack.”
“Not as well as you might think, though, to be fair.” She says, wanting to assure Nico that he isn’t completely wrong. “By the time Jack got into the development program, I was already out at UCLA. I was out there even before Quinn got into the program. Right at the same time, I guess. But you know, during the summers, wherever Jack is, Trevor usually isn’t far behind. He’s a good kid.”
“Clee kinda really is everyone’s older sister,” Jack says, passing a beer to Nico and a glass of wine to Clementine. “You should see how much Luke’s Michigan boys love her. And they’ve literally only met her once. Or never.”
Clementine waves Jack’s comment away. “It’s only because Luke calls me the most out of you three. And he’s my baby! I literally remember holding him when he was born.”
And the rest of the night is like this, as they exchange stories and memories, some she’s a part of, some she’s not and just likes listening to. Little mention of her work, which she’s so thankful for and knows in the back of her head is a purposeful play on Jack’s part.
Even though she already wasn’t around when Jack left for New Jersey, she worried about him, especially after his tough rookie year. She still remembers the occasional calls she’d get of him breathing heavily and stumbling over his words and how she could do nothing about it across the country except offer a listening ear and some big sister comfort verbally.
But now, watching Nico’s addicting smile and listening to his soft, comforting voice, she’s starting to see that Nico stepped up in that role so seamlessly and so well. It’s no wonder Jack always speaks so highly of his captain. Nico was there, and still is there, when she can’t be, whether it’s because she’s physically so far or just doesn’t understand because she isn’t a first overall draft pick. Sure, one could argue that it’s the duty of a captain. But she can tell it’s mostly because Nico is a caring guy.
That puts Nico pretty fucking high up in her good graces already.
(Clementine retires to bed soon after, not before making sure by text from Luke that he’s safe and good. Once her bedroom door clicks, Jack attacks.
“So…thoughts?”
“On Clementine?” Jack nods and Nico shrugs casually. “She’s great.”
“Come on, Hisch. You gotta give me more than that.”
“What do you want me to say?” Jack makes some sort of vague gesture and Nico sighs. “She’s quick, smart, funny. Deals with all your shit and you can tell she still loves you a lot. I didn’t-I mean, I knew you guys were close. I didn’t know you were that close though.”
Jack shrugs. “Yeah. Honestly I consider myself as close to her as I am to Luke or Quinn. She’s just, you know, been around for so long. It was really hard when she left for college, but she’s good at keeping in touch, which you know, thank god. Because I’m not. She came to all our drafts and she always makes the time to call or text, even though I know she’s busier than all of us combined with school and residency and all that.” Jack leans back into the couch. “It’s interesting to think about. With Clee, no one else except people who are actually close to me know about her, but she’s just as big a part of my life as my actual brothers. I mean, her mom’s the one who bought me the suit for my draft and Clee saved up to gift me the watch I wore with it. I don’t know. It’s interesting that you can think you know so much about someone but you’ll probably never get the full picture unless you’re there.”
Nico hums, taking in Jack’s impromptu but astute ramble. “She ever play?”
“Hockey?” Nico nods. Jack snorts. “Nah. Soccer was her thing. Was pretty damn good too, if I remember correctly.” The younger boy shifts suddenly to a standing position. “If you want to know more, ask her yourself, Hischier. I’m tired. Get out of my apartment.”
Nico rolls his eyes, but stands up anyways. “See you in the morning.”)
The Devils Friendsgiving rolls around, and with a large bowl of homemade Spinach Artichoke Dip and a couple bags of pita chips, she climbs into the backseat as Jack starts the engine and Luke fiddles with his phone to pull up the directions. She doesn’t have to go into the hospital until the afternoon tomorrow, so she’s looking forward to treating herself to a couple glasses of wine and getting to meet more people. Luke puts some country song on that Jack starts humming as he starts driving. Clementine folds her legs on the seat as her chin rests on her knees, looking out at the window as the trees blur. She kicks the back of Luke’s seat when one too many country songs play in a row, knowing that they know that she prefers other genres of music. Luke just grunts, before putting on some Noah Kahan and she hums in satisfaction.
The Toffoli’s house is spacious, and she shuffles carefully up the steps to the house behind Jack and Luke, careful not to slip on black ice. She slips off her jacket, passing the food off to Luke, before taking it back and walking into the warm home behind the boys. She just smiles and stands to the side as everyone exclaims at their arrival. She grins as Cat embraces her, thanking her for the invite. Cat waves her off and looks absolutely delighted when Clementine sets down the dip. Tyler pours her out a glass of wine and hugs her in greeting.
The journey to being a doctor has shaped Clementine to be good at remembering names quickly, which helps her tremendously as Jack bounces around to introduce her to everyone. Everyone is so welcoming and the sprinkle of kids around makes her smile as well. It’s lovely to see that this team loves hanging out with each other off the ice when they’re not obligated to. She finds herself chatting with…everyone and is almost surprised but absolutely delighted at how kind everyone is. Some of the wives and significant others don’t hesitate to rope her into future plans and their group as a whole and she feels touched. She’s not sure how much time and energy she’ll have to go to some of their gatherings, but it’ll be nice to have some more familiar faces in the city.
It’s when everyone’s starting to grab food does she find herself standing next to Nico, who had waved and nodded at her earlier when she walked in. “Hey Captain.”
Nico’s smile is blinding. “Like I’ve said, Nico works just fine.”
She shrugs with a chuckle. “How have you been?”
He sees her eyeing the potatoes and scoops some on her plate before he grabs some for himself. and she smiles at him in thanks. “Nothing new,” he says. “Just you know, playing hockey.”
She snorts. “Yeah, I bet. You had a sick goal the other night against the…Caps, was it?”
“Thank you,” he says as they both head towards two empty seats next to each other at the kitchen island. “You watch the games?”
“When I can. Not as much this season as I used to. It honestly used to be really effective background noise when I studied at school.”
His eyes track to her bracelets. “I’ve been wanting to ask you about those.”
“My bracelets?”
“Yeah. You wear them all the time. Is there any significance to them? If you’re comfortable telling me, of course.” He rushes the last sentence, eyes wide.
She waves him off with an easy smile, pointing at each one of them as she goes through. “Quinn, Jack and Luke each made me one before I left for college. Gave them to me right at the airport before I went through security. Had me sobbing on practically the whole damn plane ride. I don’t wear them to the hospital, really, but otherwise, it’s kinda just habit to put them on at this point.”
“You love them a lot,” Nico observes.
Clementine just smiles, watching Luke play with one of the kids. “I do. They’re good guys to grow up with. But enough of that. Don’t think I don’t remember the explanation you promised me last time, Nico.”
A playful smile on his lips, Nico finishes chewing his food. “Explanation of what?”
“How the hell you chose soccer over hockey, when soccer is the best sport, obviously.”
“Obviously,” Nico echoes, and her smile widens. “I mean, yeah. There’s not much to it. I kinda was good at most sports. I still love watching football, or soccer. My dad used to play professionally, so I still enjoy playing pick up in the summer once in awhile. My brother played hockey, and I wanted to do everything he did. And then…”
“You were really fucking good.” She finishes for him.
“I guess, yeah. You work with kids, right? Being their doctor?” She nods and he smirks slightly. “Even I know you have to be super smart for that. The journey to being a doctor can’t be easy.”
She chuckles a bit, feeling a bit flattered. “It has its moments. Definitely not the most simple career, by any means.”
“Anything specific with…what is it called? Pediatrics? I don’t really know how specializations work.”
“I’m actually doing an EM/Peds residency right now, which combines training in both the emergency room and pediatric medicine. There’s something about kids and the environment of an ER that I really enjoy, so putting those two together is..kinda the dream.”
“You’re incredible,” Nico says softly. And if she wasn’t blushing before, she definitely is now. Or is it the wine? “Seriously. That’s some amazing stuff. Is that common?”
“Combining residencies?” He nods. “No. Actually, NYU is one of the only teaching hospitals in the country that’s approved for this specific program.”
“So not only are you smart. You’re just the best of the best.”
She chuckles a bit and puts food in her mouth so she doesn't have to respond, because what the fuck? She’s thankful that Jonas and Nate join and divert their conversation so she can gather herself. She’s heard those words from people many times. Nico saying them shouldn’t have her stomach fluttering.
(Later that evening, Clementine, predictably, finds herself among the moms with young kids, sitting on the floor with her back against the couch, giving them attention and watching them so that their parents can relax a bit more.
She’s mindlessly talking and playing with Owen, Curtis and Reanne’s 3-year-old son, who’s at the age where he just loves to babble.
Reanne bounces her son on her knee. “This is Clementine. Can you say Clementine?”
Owen claps his hands. “C-cuh-”
Clementine can tell Owen is getting a little frustrated that he can’t pronounce her name. “Owen, you know him?” She points towards Jack, who’s sitting on the couch a few feet away talking to Nico, Curtis and Jesper. Jack catches them and waves with a big smile as their conversation trickles off.
“Unca Jack!”
“That’s right,” Clementine coos. “When Uncle Jack was as small as you, he couldn’t say my full name either. So he just called me Clee. Can you say Clee?”
“Clee!” Clementine nods excitedly and laughs with Owen as he says it again. “Unca Jack call you Clee?”
“He sure does. He still calls me Clee. And he’s a big boy now.”
Reanne grins, “Is that true?”
Clementine chuckles. “Yeah. Him, Luke and Quinn all called me Clee at one point. The other two don’t anymore, but I guess it stuck for Jack.”
Owen grabs one of his stuffed dinosaurs. “I like Unca Jack. He always buys me chocolate.”
All of them laugh as Reanne and Curtis shoot Jack a dirty look. Clementine snorts. “Busted.” Jack at least has the audacity to look a little sheepish as Owen doesn’t mind any of them, his attention back to making his dinosaurs fight each other. Owen hops off his mother’s knee and toddles over to sit in between Clementine’s legs, wordlessly passing her a dinosaur.
Nico’s fond smile stays glued to his face as his eyes track Clementine and Owen. Jack takes note.)
…..
It’s a brisk Tuesday morning in early December, and Clementine is still trying to find her way where she needs to go. She volunteered to spend a few weeks at Newark Beth Israel Medical Center from recommendation by her mentor, since Newark is short a few hands. She’ll probably get used to the hallways and which floors are what the day before she leaves, but she’s not complaining. She’s still in an ER. She’s still working with kids. And she won’t complain about the shorter commute, even if it’s only for a short while.
There’s a bit of a commotion outside as she’s making her rounds. Her curiosity causes her to scribble some last quick notes before stepping out of her patient’s room and clicking the door shut quietly so the 7-year-old girl doesn’t wake up.
“Hey Caro,” she stops another resident who’s walking by. “What’s all the commotion?”
Caroline grins. “You didn’t hear? Some of the guys from the New Jersey Devils are stopping by to see the kids. It’s always a whole day thing that’s a fun day. That’s why Doc told us all to clear our schedules as much as we could today.”
Clementine snorts to herself. No, she didn’t hear. “Ah. I must’ve not been listening or something.”
Caroline offers her arm. “You coming?”
“Yeah,” she latches on to the shorter girl’s arm. “You a Devils fan?”
“I grew up in Texas, so to be honest, no.” They both chuckle. “But the guys are great. And it’s always fun when they come around. The kids have a good time too.”
“I bet,” she says softly.
“Are you a Devils fan?”
She’s about to open her mouth to try and stumble through an answer, but they’re suddenly in a conference room and Luke is bounding over to attack her in a hug. “Clemmy!”
“Hey Lukey.” She pulls away and ignores Caroline’s confused but amused stare. “You and Jack didn’t tell me you were gonna be here.”
“We didn’t?” Jack grins, pulling her into a tight hug. “Well, surprise!”
Clementine just rolls her eyes as she waves at Jesper, Tyler, Dougie and Nico. Nico shoots her a quick wink and she gives him a shy smile before looking away.
“Sorry,” Jack addresses some of the staff who have been openly eyeing them. “Clementine is, uh, basically family. We actually live together, which she loves.” The whole room exclaims softly in understanding. Caroline gives Clementine a look that has her holding back a laugh.
Clementine just puts her head down with a smile and waits for everyone to come into the room for the official welcome. Her pager goes off in the middle so she has to sneak out of the room quietly. She catches Nico’s eye before leaving and he gives her an imperceptible nod.
She tries to keep out of everyone’s way as the players pop into various rooms to say hi to the kids and their parents. She poses for a few pictures at request from both PR departments, smiling the biggest when the social team asks for a picture of her, Luke and Jack together. It’s nice to see the kids really happy, and she does stick around in a patient’s room when Luke is reading a story to one of them.
“The kids like him,” she jumps slightly at Nico’s voice. He grimaces. “Sorry.”
She waves off his apology, staring at the scene. “Probably because he’s practically still one himself. I remember doing this for him when he was that age.”
“You’re a bit far away from Manhattan.”
“Yeah. I volunteered to come out here for a few weeks since they needed extra hands. I should be back at NYU after the new year. Had no idea you guys were gonna be here today. Would’ve warned everyone how annoying you all were.”
“You think I’m annoying?” Nico jokes.
“All hockey players are annoying.” She turns to Nico and flashes a smile. “I’m kidding. Thanks for coming. The kids always love it anytime professional athletes come in to say hey.”
“The least we can do,” Nico says with a shrug. “It’s probably my favorite event of the year.”
She nudges his shoulder, “I saw you earlier, with little Artie. You’re not bad with the kiddos either.”
“Oh, thanks. They’re sweet. That’s a big compliment coming from you.”
“Well, it’s a bit different for me when interacting with kids is part of my job,” her smile widens watching as Jude, the patient, is laughing at Luke’s exaggerated voices. “Let’s leave these two be. Come with me?”
Nico falls into step with her. “Where we going?”
“I gotta check in on one of our patients, who, if I know her, is probably painting some watercolor landscape while bickering with her sister. I’m sure your big brown eyes and smile can keep her entertained while I take some of her vitals.”
Clementine stops at a room, knocks twice on a door with a purple and pink sticker-covered name card taped on the front, Lacy spelled out in big block letters. She peeks her head in. “Hey. Mind if I come in?”
“Do I have a choice?” The 11-year-old girl sasses. Clementine rolls her eyes, shooting her 17-year-old sister Maisie a quick smile. Maisie just nods in greeting before turning back to her laptop.
“I’m bringing a visitor in here too. Be nice,” Clementine warns. Lacy just keeps painting. She opens the door wider and Nico follows her in. “You recognize this guy?”
Lacy looks up and snorts, though a small genuine smile appears on her face. “Any hockey fan living in the state of New Jersey would recognize him. Hi Nico.”
“Hi Lacy. It’s nice to meet you. Can I pull up a chair for a second?”
Lacy shrugs. “Sure.” Nico shakes Maisie’s hand quickly first before grabbing a chair and sitting by her bedside. Clementine gets started on her notes. “I saw your game the other night. Against the Wild,” Lacy says.
“Oh yeah? What did you think?”
“I mean, at least you guys won in overtime. It probably shouldn’t have even gone to that point.”
Clementine coughs to hide her laugh, Maisie admonishes Lacy, but Nico just chuckles. “That’s a fair assessment. You like hockey?”
“Yeah. I used to play. Before all this.”
“Oh yeah? What position?”
“Center.”
“That makes sense. You seem like you like to score goals.” She hums. Out of the corner of Clementine’s eye, she sees the girl offer a brush and a blank piece of paper to Nico. Clementine smiles to herself. Nico takes the brush. “You got a favorite player on the Devils?”
“Do you just want me to say you?”
“Not if it’s not true.”
Clementine chuckles, “Don’t hurt his ego too much, Lace. He might not be able to handle it. One to ten?”
“Three,” Lacy answers in reference to the frequency of pain scale she and Clementine have come up with. “My favorite is Dawson, by the way. You’re third on my list.”
“I’ll take that,” Nico says with a satisfied smile. “Who’s second?”
“Probably Jack. Or Haula. It depends on the day.”
Nico’s eyes light up as Clementine rolls her eyes to herself. “Jack, huh? Has Clementine told you that she knows him?”
Lacy stops painting for a second. “What do you mean ‘knows him?’”
Clementine gives Lacy a cup of water and waits for her to take her pill. “I’ve known Jack since he was born. Luke too.”
Lacy’s eyes pop open, and Clementine thinks that she would’ve mentioned this earlier if she knew that this was the reaction she’d get. Lacy’s been a hard nut to crack in terms of opening up to her. “Really? Quinn’s one of the best defensemen in the league, in my opinion.”
“I’ll be sure to tell him. He’ll appreciate that.”
“Pretty cool, right?” Nico remarks, carefully dipping his brush in water.
“Sorry I didn’t tell you earlier,” Clementine says. “I knew you were a hockey fan. I didn’t know you were a Devils fan. Isn’t your dad a Rangers fan?”
Nico grimaces automatically as Lacy nods. “Yeah, but red’s prettier. And the Devils are better.”
“That’s right. And don’t forget it,” Nico says.
“Hey, Lace. Dawson isn’t here, but do you want me to go find Jack and see if he’s around?”
“Sure. I don’t have my jersey though and I wanted him to sign it.”
“We’ll send you another one and he can sign that one,” Nico says. Maisie tries to protest but Nico just shakes his head. “It’s no problem at all. I’ll send you mine though. To convince you to move me higher on your list.”
“I mean, I won’t say no to that.” Clementine and Nico just chuckle.
“Be right back,” Clementine promises.
She closes the door and takes a moment to watch the two. Nico’s trying to paint some sort of sunset and lets Lacy guide his hand, listening intently as Lacy gives him some artistic advice. She’s never seen such softness in someone’s eyes before as Nico is looking at the young girl. And later, when Nico hands her two tickets for a game in January, it’s the most excited she’s seen Lacy.
…..
Clementine finds that she has Christmas Eve and Christmas Day off, so the three of them decide to do their own little Christmas Eve celebration — Ellen and Jim are heading to Vancouver to spend the holiday with Quinn and the various family they have out there — before going to Jack and Luke’s family again on Christmas Day. They ask her if Nico can join them Christmas Eve, before going with them to their family’s on Christmas Day, since his family can’t fly out this time around for the holidays. She immediately agrees, and digs her knitting supplies out from the few unpacked boxes in her closet and stops by the fabric store right by the hospital after work.
Later that night, after a game, Luke waves his greeting before stumbling into his room while Jack beelines to the kitchen to pour himself a glass of water. He casts his eyes on Clementine on the couch, Canucks game on quietly in the background and a whole bunch of yarn on her lap, her fingers twiddling around knitting needles.
Jack raises his eyebrows. “Who’s that for?”
“Nico.” The lack of response has her raising her eyes away from her needles. “What?”
“You like him, don’t you?”
“As a person, absolutely. He’s very-”
“Fuck off. You know that’s not what I’m talking about. You like him. Like, stomach has butterflies and all that shit.”
She puts down her needles with a sigh, “Jack-”
“Listen, I know you’re just gonna deny it or whatever. Because that’s what you do. So, I’m not even gonna bother, but Clee. You could do a whole lot worse than Hisch. And he likes you too, if that’s what you’re worried about.”
“Jack. I’m not gonna date your captain.”
“Why not?”
“Because…I don’t wanna put you or Luke in a weird position.”
“That’s a dumb excuse. Who cares about that? Certainly not Luke and I.” He comes to sit next to her like an eager puppy. “I swear I’m not trying to set you up or whatever. Not intentionally at least. And I really won’t push and let it go if you want me to. But Clee, you seem so at ease around him. And it’s obvious that he just likes everything about you. It doesn’t have to be serious. But maybe just give it a chance before you just shut it down, okay?”
She nods, taking in his words. “Okay, okay. I will.”
“Promise?”
She rolls her eyes, but clasps her pinky with his. They’ve always taken their pinky promises very seriously. “I promise.”
Jack grins, his typical easygoing manner right back. “Good.”
After a lazy Christmas Eve morning and afternoon watching holiday movies, drinking hot cocoa and feeling at peace, she, Jack, Luke and Nico put on some Christmas music and make gingerbread cookies to bring the next day. She scolds the brothers as they start flinging flour at each other but she does it with a smile that hurts her cheeks and a heart that feels overwhelmingly full. “Silent Night” comes on and to prevent herself from fully bursting into tears, she leaves Luke and Nico to shape the cookies and drags Jack to dance around the kitchen with her. She thinks he understands, as he places a comforting kiss on her forehead, Luke looking on in solemn happiness.
(Nico notices all of their demeanors slightly shift, but he doesn’t press.)
At midnight, they all exchange presents under the twinkling lights of their tree. Nico looks surprised when they tell him they all have presents for him, which is funny considering he has presents for all of them. As the youngest, Luke goes first, and his smile is pure ecstasy, as he receives a really nice watch from Nico, new shoes from Jack and a bottle of cologne that she knows he’s been eyeing from Clementine. Jack’s next, as he gleefully reaches for his presents. Nico gifts him a customized Snapback that has Jack tackling his captain in a hug and almost tipping the tree over, and Luke gets him the newest AirPods to hopefully discourage him from “accidentally” putting his through the wash. Clementine gets Jack a nice leather wallet she saw at a vintage shop a few weeks back and he acts surprised that she knows what he likes style wise, as if she didn’t practically grow up with him and watch his heinous style turn into something passable.
Clementine insists Nico goes next. Jack and Luke get him a joint present of a massive box of assorted Swiss chocolates and Clementine thinks his eyes literally light up, excitedly talking about how you can’t get most of them outside of Switzerland. As Clementine hands him her present, Nico only raises his eyebrows at the large bag.
“Should I be scared?”
She scoffs, “Just open the bag, Captain.”
They all laugh, Jack and Luke eagerly watching as Nico carefully takes out the tissue paper. Jack laughs in recognition as Luke just shakes his head fondly when Nico pulls out a giant knitted maroon blanket.
“I know it seems a bit weird,” Clementine rushes to explain as he unfolds the blanket carefully. “But basically, when I started going to the boys’ games, I would get really cold sitting in the bleachers. So my mom taught me how to knit and I knitted myself a huge blanket, kinda like this one. The parents all saw me with it and eventually started asking if I would knit some for them. And I did, so it’s kinda a thing I like to do when I have time now. Makes for good presents too.”
Nico looks behind him to a similar looking white blanket draped across the couch. “Did you make that?”
She grins. “Yeah. I think that one was the one I gave to Jack right before he left for New Jersey. I know Luke has the one I gave him before he left for Michigan in his room.”
“It’s super warm,” Luke says.
“Clee doesn’t make these blankets for just anyone,” Jack adds. “She only just made one for Turcs last year after he had been practically begging her for years.”
Nico folds the blanket back up and reaches over to envelop her in a tight hug. She lets herself rest her head on his shoulder. “Thank you,” he says sincerely. “I love it.”
She just smiles, trying to tell her brain to calm the fuck down before she reaches out to grab Jack and Luke’s (and Quinn, he said to her over the phone this morning) gift for her. She pulls out a photo album and immediately starts sniffling. The first photo on the first page is of her holding Quinn at the hospital right when he was born. Written below, in what she recognizes as Quinn’s handwriting:
Clem holding Quinn for the first time. October 15, 1999. Orlando, Florida.
She flips through quickly, finding that it’s photos of her and all of the brothers throughout the years, before closing it and taking a deep breath. “I’ll have to look at this more carefully later when I can cry by myself in my room. Fuck. How long did this take you guys?”
“We got the idea when you told us you were moving in, but we really got to put it together over the summer,” Luke says. “It was also fun getting Mom and Maeve to dig up some of the pictures.”
She wipes her eyes before giving them both individual, loving hugs and sweet kisses on their cheeks. “Thank you.” It’s not enough. Nothing will ever be enough. But she hopes they understand.
“Well, I don’t know how I can follow that up,” Nico jokes softly.
“Stop,” she scolds him lightly, taking the wrapped box from his hands. She rips the paper ungracefully and opens the box. In the box are light pink scrubs. When she unfolds the shirt, she sees tiny bluebells adorning the right side, with her initials in delicate white cursive on the right.
Nico scratches the back of neck. “Jacky mentioned that pink’s your favorite color and I had Luke sneak into your closet one time when you were at work to grab me your measurements. My sister does embroidery for fun so, uh, yeah.”
She has to bite the inside of her bottom lip from smiling too widely. She already knows it’s going to be her favorite set. Before she can think too hard about it, she practically launches herself into his arms, half in his lap as Nico lets out a surprised grunt but easily catches her. She holds on a bit longer, even placing a quick kiss on his cheek before pulling away.
“Thank you. I love them.”
(Jack and Luke exchange the most obvious look, yet somehow both Clementine and Nico miss it)
The next day, they make the hour-long drive. Clementine calls shotgun, and has her feet curled up under her, white sweater stretched over her hands as Jack hums along to the Christmas music playing softly in the background. Nico insisted on getting flowers, which is all too much, but she, Jack and Luke are also bringing two bottles of some really fucking good wine so maybe they’re all on the same page. They’re the last ones to arrive, the house already filled with familial chatter, football on the TV, snacks on the kitchen island and alcohol free flowing. She watches as Nico is embraced like he’s been around for his whole life, even though realistically, he’s maybe only met a few of them in passing when they’ve come to a game. Geegs calls him handsome after .4 seconds of seeing him and she, Jack and Luke all snicker watching his cheeks turn red. It seems like it takes not even three minutes for him to charm every single damn person, especially when he gives Lara the flowers.
Clementine immerses herself in the cheer of holiday and family, happily answering anyone when she’s asked about her residency. She answers questions about it’s like living with the “terrible two” with ease and laughter, because as much as she likes to give them shit, it’s honestly been one of the best times of her life.
Inevitably, because she might not have their last name but has been part of the family for years, she gets a few questions about her love life, or lack thereof. Lara always jokes that if the stars were slightly different, her and Quinn — or maybe even Jack — could’ve ended up together. And Clementine agrees, because those two boys are so lovely and she knows them so well and loves them so much, but the stars are the way they are, and nothing will ever happen romantically between her and any Hughes brother.
Romance hasn’t really ever been seriously in the cards for Clementine, which is partially self inflicted. She had something in college that lasted for over two years, but since then, nothing has stuck. She’s always used the excuse of school and now residency, and it’s somewhat true. But even she knows she’s running out of excuses for herself.
As her eyes flit over to Nico, who’s across the room talking to Luke and Ben, one of their cousins, looking so fucking soft in his gray crewneck and dark washed blue jeans, hair too fluffy and the most heartwarming smile on his face, she tells herself to get it together.
After over two decades of being around hockey boys, she can’t be developing a crush on the captain of the New Jersey Devils.
…..
On the morning of New Year’s Day, Clementine tries her best to go about the kitchen quietly to make her breakfast, only to find Jack and Luke already there, sipping on their coffees.
“Morning boys.”
“Morning Clemmy.”
“Happy new year!”
“Happy new year,” she yawns. “Morning skate?”
“We’re skipping.” Her eyebrows shoot up and Luke just gives her a look. “C’mon, Clemmy. We’re not letting you do this alone.”
She swallows and her voice cracks. “You guys remembered?”
“Clee,” Jack says with a sympathetic smile. “Of course we did.”
Before she can control it, her eyes water and she sniffles. Luke comes up and pulls her to his side, allowing her to momentarily bury herself into his sweatshirt as she tries to gather herself. Above her head, Luke and Jack share a look as Jack wordlessly grabs a thermos from the cabinet and fills 3/4 of it with coffee, topping it off with oat milk. Clementine pulls away and rubs at her eyes.
Jack smiles at her. “Picked up some croissants from downstairs we can eat on the way. The florist should be open by now.”
“Yeah, yeah. Okay,” she turns to Luke again and pulls him into a real hug. She only forces herself to pull away so she can give Jack one too, before going to her room to change.
They stop by the florist downstairs and she picks out a bouquet of fresh daisies. She watches Luke mull over his options before choosing the white lilies as Jack automatically reaches for the pink peonies. He also cradles a bouquet of sunflowers, and when she gives him a confused look, he just smiles.
(“From Quinn. He specifically requested sunflowers.”
Clementine bites her lip, nodding, the image of toddler Quinn almost yanking the sunflowers in the yard in front of her childhood home before her dad stopped him and explained how flowers grow passing through her mind.)
The drive to the cemetery doesn’t take too long. They may be driving in from a different direction than she’s used to, but somehow, it’s like her body knows exactly where she’s going. Once they arrive, she quietly directs them to the right hill and she takes a sip of her coffee before opening the car door. She tries to take the flowers from Luke’s hands but he just softly tells her he’s got it. She’s a step ahead of the two as she leads them to the correct place.
She smiles as she comes close, seeing the semi-fresh bouquet of roses she knows her mother must’ve placed there three days prior, 28 years to the day they got married. She watches as Luke carefully sets down all their flowers, and she bends down to help him arrange them in a pretty way as Jack unfolds the large blanket. They all sit down and stare at the stone.
in loving memory of
Miguel Alejandro Sandoval
April 3, 1968 - January 1, 2015
beloved son, uncle, friend, husband and father
As she starts talking softly, some of her words floating away with the slight breeze, Jack hastily grabs her hand with his and intertwines their fingers tightly as Luke adjusts his long limbs so that his head is in her lap. She uses her other hand to play with his curls and takes a shaky breath as Jack places his head on her shoulder. She talks about how she’s back east now and how much she loves residency and how fun it’s been to live with Jack and Luke and how Quinn is captain of the Canucks now and how her mom, Ellen and Jim are doing well. She talks like she’s chatting with her dad over homemade paella on a Sunday morning, rather than in the eerie peacefulness of Flower Hill Cemetery, which is five miles away from the house he grew up in. Jack and Luke don’t say anything, but she doesn’t expect them to. She’s just grateful they’re here with her.
When they’re about to leave, the two boys request a few minutes without her and she just smiles, kissing her hand and touching the stone before walking away. She sits in the car and waits, watching as Luke leans his head on Jack’s shoulder. After six minutes, they’re all on their way back to Hoboken.
After lunch, Jack and Luke head over to…one of their teammate’s places to watch whatever football game is on. They ask, more than once, if Clementine wants to join, but she denies. They both then insist on staying, but she overrules them and practically shoves them out the door, promising that she’ll be okay and that she’ll see them later.
Around an hour later, she’s finishing up prepping some pasta salad for the week ahead when there’s a knock at the door. She hums to herself, confused. She’s not expecting anyone who doesn’t have a key to the place. She swings open the door.
“Nico?” She smiles, albeit confused. “Uh, Hi. Jack and Luke aren’t here.”
“I know. I just saw them.” She’s still confused, but she goes to the side to allow him to come in, closing the door behind him. He slips off his shoes and clears his throat. “Happy new year.”
“Happy new year. Not that I’m not happy to see you, but what are you doing here?”
“I just..I was at Nate’s,” Ah, so that’s where they went. “And Jack and Luke came in and we were all bummed you weren’t coming and asked why. They didn’t say much, if that’s what you’re worried about. But I, you know, as captain or whatever, asked them if everything was okay and they said it was and I asked if you not being there had anything to do with why they skipped practice this morning and you know them, especially Jack. He’s such a shitty liar. He just said that it may be a hard day for you today, and I wanted to see if you were okay.”
Clementine isn’t offended, by any means. Too much time — nine years worth of it — has passed for her to feel any animosity of any sort about a touchy thing like this, especially when it’s just Jack and Luke looking out for her. She just smiles, reaching out a hand to take Nico’s coat. “I’m okay. But if you really want to know, it’ll take a bit of time. I’m giving you an out, Cap. It is New Year’s Day.”
“I want to know everything about you,” he says, walking further into her place. She’ll have to unpack that one later.
“Tea or coffee? Or whatever disgusting protein shake Lukey has in the fridge?”
Nico snorts, settling himself down on the coach with the comfortability of someone who lives here. Then again, Clementine is reminded, as he unfolds the white knitted blanket, that Nico’s known the layout of this apartment longer than she has. “Coffee, please. Black is fine.”
“Abysmal,” she remarks, pouring out a cup for him and herself. She sets them down on the coffee table before smiling at him. “Be right back.” She goes into her room to dig through her bookshelf for a specific photo album that she only cracks open during January 1 of every year. It doesn’t take long before she paddles back to the living room, placing the album next to her coffee. She sits a respectable distance from Nico, but tucks herself under the blanket anyway. She watches him sip his coffee for a few moments.
“We were at the cemetery this morning. That’s why Jack and Luke asked to skip morning skate. We were visiting my dad. He died nine years ago today. Cancer,” she says, like she’s recalling a medical fact she read in her textbook. “He was, god, my best friend, really. And the best person, in my completely biased opinion. But maybe not. Miguel Sandoval, everyone used to say — still says — had a heart of gold and a smile as bright as the sun. He loved being outside. Worked as an environmental engineer. He loved chocolate ice cream. He hated mosquitos, always cursed them out in Spanish during the summer just to make me and my mom laugh. He always kicked the ball around in the backyard with me, even after an exhausting day at work. He made the best paella, made it pretty much every Sunday. God, he really did light up every room he walked into. He loved my mom. Loved me. And we loved him. Love him.” She reaches for the album and offers it to Nico, who slowly starts flicking through the pages. She looks on with him at the photos. “My mom, Maeve, and Ellen, Luke and Jack’s mom, played soccer at UNH together and just kept in touch throughout the years. My mom and dad met at UNH too. And then Ellen met Jim, and the four of them were so, so tight, I’ve been told. Double dates, all of that.” She smiles, looking at her mom and dad’s wedding photos. “Ellen was my mom’s maid of honor, and my mom was hers. They always like to remind me that I was in my mom’s stomach when Ellen and Jim got married. Anyways, I was 18 when he died, so looking back, I’m grateful that I even had that many years with him, but at the same time, it felt so short. 100 years wouldn’t have been enough time with him.”
“He sounds like an amazing man,” Nico says softly.
Clementine smiles with him. “He was. It’s easier now. Nine years is a long time. But during the few years after, it was really hard. I felt really guilty going to UCLA just months after he died. Was about to throw it away and go somewhere close to home instead, but my mom insisted, knowing it was my dream school. I felt guilty leaving her across the country, in a fucking different country, but it did help that she had people around to support her. It’s still not easy. This time of the year is always pretty hard on me. And it’ll never really go away. But time does heal.”
She takes a sip of coffee to gather her thoughts, as Nico continues perusing the album, laughing at some and cooing at others when the Hughes brothers start making an appearance. They stop at a picture of her father holding Luke right when he was born in the hospital, Jim proudly smiling in the background and young Jack and Quinn looking on. “My dad loved the boys and I don’t even think saying he loved them captures 1% of it. Those boys were his boys. If I didn’t have soccer games or practices, he was tagging along to all their hockey stuff after work and on the weekends. He didn’t know jackshit about the sport at first, but he eventually learned the ins and outs of the game because he wanted to support them. Did Jack ever tell you why he chose 86? Or why Luke chose 43?”
“I think Jack just said it was a family number or something,” Nico says. “Didn’t go much into it.”
“My dad’s birthday is April 3. 43. I think all of them wore it during their first year at the program. And then Quinn and Luke decided to go back to it in college and beyond, obviously. 43 doubled is 86, of course, but my dad, who was also a middle child, used to say Jack’s personality was so big and bold that it doubled his siblings’. The boys loved him just as much as he loved them.” By now, the tears are gushing down her cheeks. “Sometimes, I think that the three of them took the loss harder than I did. He never got to see them play for their country. He never got to see them get drafted. He never got to witness their first points in the show. And fuck, my dad would’ve cheered so loud. Would’ve been so proud. Probably is so proud, wherever he is. But, you know, during the big moments, and the little ones, we all know he’s there. I just know he is.”
“He is.”
She calms herself down a bit and chuckles. “Sorry, I know it’s a lot.”
“No, no.” They shift closer to each other and she leans into him as he puts an arm around her shoulder. “It’s not a lot. I-thank you. For telling me all of this. Thank you for trusting me.”
Clementine just shrugs, but the weight of her shoulders feels heavy. “I’ve never felt the need to justify to others what the Hughes family means to me, but telling people about…this usually gives them some context. I frankly don’t know if I would’ve survived and gotten through it without them. It’s more than just family friends at this point. It’s family, but it’s also something so much more. I get reminded everyday how lucky I am to have them.”
(She swallows, thinking back to her ex-somethings that could’ve been something more had they not let their insecurities show after finding out how three of her closest friends are not just guys, but nationally scouted hockey players, thinking back to a splattering of girls who she thought were her friends but subtly changed their attitudes when they tried to get Clementine to put a good word in, thinking back to some who brushed aside her own accomplishments to fixate on her pseudo-brothers’ careers. She’s never directly mentioned it to any of the boys. It’s not their burden to worry about. But even if they aren’t as smart as her, she thinks they have an idea)
Nico nods. She thinks he may understand, weirdly enough, despite the different circumstances. It seems like Nico just understands a lot. Nico smiles, setting the album back down gently on the table in front of them. “Your ability to love greatly. Your natural protectiveness. Did that come from your dad?”
“Yeah, actually. I love my mom, of course. But she’s always been more of the tough love parent. I think the protectiveness was more of just the situation I was put in, being the oldest out of all of us and also an only child. But the love…a lot of people who knew my dad say we’re very similar in that aspect. So thank you. I’ll take it as a compliment. That means a lot to me.”
She busies herself and sips on her coffee. Nico clears his throat. "You can feel free to tell me to fuck off, but I just…did your dad’s situation influence you to want to become a doctor?”
“Sorta. I kinda always knew that I wanted to do something in science, but it definitely solidified when he died. I did think about going the oncologist route, a doctor that deals with cancer, but I ultimately decided that it hit too close to home. I-I’d like to think that in a profession that’s dedicated to trying our best to save lives, that I have a perspective on death that helps me more than harms me. Helps the patient and their family more too, hopefully.”
“That’s an extremely mature way to look at it.”
“Jesus, Cap. Way to make me feel old. I’m only 26, you know.”
“With all the stuff you’ve gone through, you’re probably more emotionally, like, 37.” Well, he kinda has a point. “But seriously though. What a beautiful perspective.”
“I appreciate that a lot, thank you.” She snuggles more into the blanket, and therefore, closer to Nico. “Bet you didn’t think you’d get this to start off your year.”
She feels the ghost of his lips press to her hair and hopes he doesn’t feel her racing heart. “Perhaps not. But I’m pretty content with how it’s going so far.”
…..
For Nico’s birthday, Clementine asks Emilia, who’s Swiss, what some traditional Swiss desserts are. After getting a recipe for a semi-complicated cake from Emilia from her mother, she gets to work.
She makes two cakes, or Zuger Kirschtorte, the larger one for Nico and the smaller one for her, Luke and Jack. It takes a good chunk of her evening, but she makes it a whole thing, putting on the Devils vs Caps game, measuring ingredients and going back towards her laptop to make sure she’s following the recipe correctly. She’s momentarily grateful that both boys aren’t here, partially so they don’t distract her in case she fucks up but mostly so they don’t start teasing her. She knows they will eventually, but she would rather hold it off as long as possible.
The cake turns out really good, which is a bit surprising. Clementine’s always liked baking, but she’s not amazing at it. She carefully puts the larger cake in a disposable container, setting it on the counter to give it to Jack and Luke to give to Nico tomorrow morning, putting the smaller one in the fridge. Before she sleeps, she places a sticky note on the lid, “do not touch or i’ll kill you” written out in all capital letters.
(The next morning, Nico smiles when he sees that Clementine had sent him a short text reading “Happy Birthday Cap!! Enjoy your day :)” When Jack walks into the locker room, cake in his hand and beelining towards him, he’s confused.
“Special delivery for the birthday boy,” Jack says with a knowing smile.
Nico furrows his eyebrows. “From who?”
Jack nods to the card taped to the top of the lid. “Read the card and find out.”
Nico sets the cake beside him carefully as Jack practically skips to his stall. He ignores what he feels like are multiple eyes on him as he opens the card. He feels his throat dry up.
Captain,
Happy birthday!! It’s always a joy seeing and talking to you, so thank you for bringing that into my time in Jersey so far. I tried my best with the cake, so forgive me if it isn’t perfect, but I hope it brings you a sense of home.
With love,
Clementine
Nico takes a closer look at the cake and does a double take, before shooting her a quick text of gratitude and carefully putting it into his locker. Hours later, when he finally gets to try it, he closes his eyes in happiness, savoring the taste of a dessert his grandma used to make all the time when he was younger and thinks about the girl who made it.
Two days later, when Clementine’s at The Rock to see all Hughes brothers together on the ice as the Devils take on the Canucks, he’s hoping to catch a glimpse of her afterwards. After getting a hattrick, he’s on a high and he’s hoping even more to get a chance to see her afterwards.
He comes out of the locker room, tired but happy, and first sees Ellen Hughes’s unmistakably bright smile. He greets her politely, grin widening as she pulls him into a motherly hug. He shakes Jim’s hand before Clementine practically jumps onto him, congratulating him on his hat trick with a happy squeal. He can’t help but laugh and squeeze her just a bit tighter before letting go and ruffling Luke’s hair.
“Hey,” he lowers his voice so only Clementine can hear. “Thank you. For the cake. You really didn’t have to. It was delicious.”
“Really?” She says, tucking her hair behind her ears and bouncing on her toes. “Oh, I’m so glad you liked it!”
“How did you-where did you get the recipe?”
“One of my friends from the hospital is Swiss. I asked her, and she got it from her mom.”
All Nico can do is blink, because he’s so fucking touched that someone would go out of the way like that. He takes a second to look at Clementine’s beautiful smile and takes a deep breath. “I really appreciate it. Thank you.”
She just beams. Nico wants to bottle it up.
Right as he’s slipping into bed that night, he checks his texts one last time, furrowing his eyebrows when he sees a text from Luke from four minutes ago. It’s a Twitter link. Confused, Nico clicks on it. It’s a short clip of the broadcast from the game earlier, after he had scored his hattrick. It shows him celebrating on the ice, then pans the bench, fans, before panning to the Hughes family box. He smiles, watching as everyone cheers, but he immediately notices Clementine, in Quinn’s Canucks jersey nonetheless, jumping out of her seat first and raising her arms in excitement, clapping and shouting and smiling.
As he’s watching the video again, Luke sends another text.
Luke Hughes
Ask her out already
I’m getting impatient
Nico just dislikes the second text. He watches the video one more time before shutting off his phone.)
…..
Residency keeps Clementine crazy busy the next few weeks, that even though she wants to go to more games, she’s either working or too tired to drag herself to The Rock. She barely can keep her eyes open even when she puts a game on the TV, and is always fully asleep before Quinn and the Canucks on the west coast even take the ice.
But finally, on a cold Saturday, on their day off, she drags Emilia along to see the Devils face the Canadiens. It’s a plus that she gets to see Cole again, because Cole has the ability to always put a smile on her face.
Additionally, it’s a noon game, which is super rare. And Clementine takes that as a chance to host a small little thing at their place afterwards with an open invite to any of the players — on both teams — and their families. She can’t keep track of who knows who in the small world of professional hockey. She’s getting some of her residency friends to come too.
If she has the energy and time to host something, she’ll do it. She used to love hosting in college and med school, even if it was just something as simple as a potluck. She’s aware it’s the middle of the season and they can’t go crazy, but she loves filling her home with love and conversation.
Right after the game, she and Emilia both bolt out of there, Clementine momentarily thankful that they coincidentally parked close to the entrance so she could fight her way out of the lot within a decent time. Luckily, a lot of significant others offered to bring something or pick something up, so she and Emilia don’t have to prepare that much. Once they reach the apartment, Emilia helps Clementine out with her giant charcuterie board before taking out the tray of lemon squares she had made the night before and starting to cut them.
Soon enough, everyone trickles in seemingly one after the other and Clementine is bustling around, making her rounds. She practically pounces on Cole, smiling at the sight of his smile and demanding him to catch her up on everything.
She’s so busy mingling that she forgets to pour herself a glass of wine even though the bottles have already been opened. She doesn’t really realize it until she feels a tap on her shoulder and turns around to see Nico with a smile paired with a glass of wine in his hand.
“For you,” Nico says softly. Somehow, it stands out above the loudish volume chatter in the apartment. “Got the last of it in that glass. Figured you might want some.”
She accepts the glass with a grateful smile. “Thanks, Cap. This one is one of my favorites.”
“I figured,” he says. She raises an eyebrow. He smiles a bit shyly. “On Christmas, you brought two bottles of that when we went to see Jack and Luke, and well, your, family. And I’ve seen at least one bottle of it at the apartment every time I’ve gone in recently and I know for a fact that Luke doesn’t like wine and Jack doesn’t know a shitty one from a good one.”
She snorts. “You’d think that allowing them to sneak some from my glass at family dinners for so long would’ve given them some taste. Instead, Luke has decided that a shitty beer is always his go-to and Jack’s go-to drink is a margarita like a psychopath.”
Nico chuckles, amused. “Bashing on Luke’s drink of choice is fair, even if I don’t agree, but what do you have against margaritas?”
“Many of my not-so-great moments in college have started with tequila,” she says with a shudder. “Even the smell of it makes me want to throw up these days.”
He laughs as she sips on her lovely wine. “Party animal back at college?”
“I wouldn’t say so. But work hard, play hard was the motto for a lot of my friends, and I wasn’t always strong enough to ward away their pleas.” She nods at him. “How about you? Is your drink of choice actually beer or are you normal?”
“I’m not picky. Beer’s pretty huge back home, though. So it’s what will usually be shoved in your hand whether you like it or not.”
“I went to Zurich two years ago for a friend’s wedding. It might be the most beautiful place I’ve ever been to.”
“Zurich’s great,” Nico smiles, his eyes flashing in a way she hasn’t seen before. “The whole country. It’s beautiful. It’s home. There’s nothing like home.”
“You miss it during the season? Or are you used to it by now?”
“Mostly used to it. It makes it all the more special when I do go back in the summer, you know? Also, it’s nice to have Siegs, Schmido and Timo here. A little taste of home even though we’re so far from it. Remind me again where home is for you? Toronto, right? Or Michigan?”
She chuckles. “It’s tricky. I grew up in Toronto, but my mom lives in Boston now. And you know, I was out in California for so long. So Toronto, but also Massachusetts, but also California? I don’t really know. But I’m also going to be in Jersey for the next four-ish years at least, so right now, it’s New Jersey.”
“And you’re happy with that?”
Clementine looks around the apartment with a giddy smile. “If it’s gonna look something like this, I think so.”
“Clem!” She turns her head to see Cole bouncing towards her. He halts quickly though. “Sorry! I didn’t mean to interrupt.”
“You’re good, man.” Nico says, shooting one last smile at Clementine. “Enjoy the wine.”
“Thanks for getting it for me.” He nods once and gives a friendly pat to Cole’s shoulder before walking towards the living room.
Cole looks between Nico’s retreating back and Clementine, a mischievous smile growing on his lips. She narrows her eyes. “I don’t like that smile, Coley. What do you want?”
“Nothing! It’s a lovely little thing you have here. Thanks for inviting me.”
“Anytime. You looked great out there earlier.”
Cole puffs out his chest a bit and she refrains from rolling her eyes. “You think?”
“Well, I’m not an analyst. Or a coach. Or an expert of the game of hockey in any way. So take all my opinions with a grain of salt.”
“Sure,” he says, leaning his hip on the counter behind him. “But with the amount of hockey games you’ve watched in your lifetime combined with how much you’ve been surrounded by it all your life, I’d say you could give even the best analysts at The Athletic a run for their money.”
“Not by choice,” she grunts.
Cole just smiles. His default expression, which Clementine can’t help but just adore. “Sure, Clem. Sure.”
“You’re being weird. What do you want?”
“For years you’ve been around hockey players. For years you’ve been around them flirting with you. And you finally crack because of the Swiss captain?”
She plops a few nuts in her mouth. “Whatever Jack and Luke have been feeding you, ignore it. You should know better.”
“They’re not feeding me anything, thank you very much!” She gives him a skeptical look. Cole, like the weakling he is, cracks. “Okay, maybe they have. But I’m also not blind, Clem. Hischier’s well-liked in the league. I think you two would be good together.”
She points at him playfully. “It is not your job to be thinking about these things.”
“Then whose is it?” He shoots back, playful smile still on his face but with a more serious tinge on the edges. “Clem, we’re not 16 anymore. Give us some credit. Let us matchmake a little.”
She snorts. “With love, absolutely fucking not. I know Jack has this fantasy in his head that I’ll date his captain and it’ll be all great, but he needs to chill.”
“He told you that?”
“More or less. He’s not subtle.”
Cole shrugs. “I’m not pushing, Clem. I’m not Jack or, even worse, Trevor. But just, I don’t know. Maybe it’s not just a fantasy in Jack’s mind. He adores Nico. And you know he thinks the world of you. Maybe he actually sees something there. I don’t think he’d encourage it so much or fuck around with that just to fuck around. You’re some of the most important people in his life.”
Clementine sneaks a look at Nico, who’s literally just existing, and she can’t help but smile. At the sight of his smile. At the sight of him talking to Emilia. At the possibilities. But she turns back to Cole with a dimmer smile. “I don’t know, Coley. It’s not that-Nico’s amazing. He’s honestly just so…good. I don’t think he has a manipulative bone in his body. I just feel like I come with so much baggage, you know? No one’s gonna want that.”
Cole makes a noise in his throat. “Okay, first of all. It’s not baggage. It’s life. Everyone comes with some sort of baggage, so that’s stupid. Second of all, you have so many people who already love you despite the ‘baggage.’ What’s adding one more person to that list?”
She just hums. Cole offers her a smile, before switching topics to the Taylor Swift concert he went to last summer, which she knows he’s bringing up just to rile her up.
…..
On April 3, Clementine wakes up for work, to see that Jack and Luke are already awake, much to her surprise. She looks to the kitchen island and sees a plate of blueberry pancakes. She smiles sadly — her dad used to always make blueberry pancakes for breakfast if the boys were over. She doesn’t say anything and just hugs them both tightly as they all dig in. She has to run to work, and kisses them both on the cheek before heading out, promising to see them tonight.
After her shift ends, Clementine ducks into the staff bathroom to change. No jersey this time, but a cropped black Devils crewneck she cut herself with skinny jeans. She bids farewell to her coworkers before swiping her keycard and hopping on the train to Madison Square Garden. She’s meeting up with Emilia, who had the day off, and her husband Tony to watch the Devils take on the Rangers.
She’s grown to love The Rock, but going to a game at Madison Square Garden is pretty cool, even if she gets playfully chirped by Rangers fans multiple times as she walks in. She happily sips on her rum and coke, chatting with Emilia and Tony as she sees the seats slowly fill with blue. Hockey is always fun to watch, but she hasn't been to a game yet that has a rivalry quite like this one.
As the game starts and she naturally gets into it, she finds herself having a moment where she wishes her father was in the empty seat next to hers. Luke scores a goal, and for a split second, her fingers itch to reach out to hug him as if he was there. She shakes it off and just keeps cheering and playfully getting up in Emilia and Tony’s faces while trying not to spill her second rum and coke for the night. Seeing the 43 on Luke’s jersey makes her emotional and she bites her lip to keep herself together.
Afterwards, after a tough 2-1 loss, she bids Emilia and Tony goodnight as she tries to find the path to the locker rooms, even though she always insists that she doesn’t need an all-access pass or whatever, especially at an away game. But Jack and Luke always insist (“We’re literally all going to the same place after anyways. And this one is at MSG. We gotta make sure you haven’t been injured by their fans.”) and she’s learned to pick her battles with them.
It’s a nice enough night out, so she decides to wait outside instead of inside the hallway, texting Jack and Luke that she’s outside the exit. She ends up chatting with Jared, one of the guys on their equipment team, about how his daughter is just about to finish her first year of med school at UMass before the doors swing open. As usual, she gives Luke and then Jack comforting hugs, kissing their cheeks and ruffling their hair. Various members of the team start trickling out and she greets them all with smiles, chuckling softly as Dawson wraps her in a tight hug.
Since MSG is decently close to Newark (without traffic, that is, which is practically impossible for New York City), a lot of the guys drove together to come to the arena this morning. So she watches as they debate who’s getting in whose car, since apparently it has to be different from this morning because of who lives where and a bunch of factors Clementine doesn’t understand. As long as she’s getting home somehow, she doesn’t care.
She’s tuned them out so it takes Jack calling her name twice for her to pay attention. “Sorry. What’s up?”
“Do you mind riding with Neeks?” Jack says, waving his hand around. “We have a bigger car and it’s easier if we drop off Nate, Holtzy and-”
“Yeah, yeah. It’s fine,” she turns to Nico. “You sure you have room? I can always just take the train back.”
Nico snorts, “Jack and Luke would kill me if I had you going back on the train this late. I have plenty of room in my car. I’m just taking Bratter back.”
“Only if you’re sure,” she says, before nodding at Jack and Luke. “See you both at home.”
(She misses the look that the boys all give Nico)
She insists that Jesper take the front seat, practically shoving him and quickly climbing into the back, making Nico laugh. Somehow, the traffic in Lincoln Tunnel is bearable and they’re in Jersey City in just over half an hour. Clementine hops out to give Jesper a hug once they reach his place before sliding into the passenger seat.
Nico hands her the aux cord, as Jesper had been auxing earlier. She gives him a look. “Are you sure?”
He looks behind him before pulling back on the road. “Why wouldn’t I be?” She hums in response, satisfied, before shuffling one of her playlists. “When do you have to go into work tomorrow?”
“Uh, not until after lunch.”
“Perfect. Are you hungry?”
“A bit actually, yeah.”
“Wanna grab a quick bite to eat and maybe a drink? I know a place that’s pretty close to here.”
She looks at the side of his face with a smile. “Yeah,” she says softly. “That sounds great.”
Nico catches her eye quickly, and smiles back. “Okay, great. Yeah.”
Within 10 minutes, Nico parks his car in the parking lot of a beer garden. It’s lively, but not crowded enough to overwhelm her. The outside patio is beautiful, and Nico just looks behind her with an encouraging smile. Without thinking, she grabs his hand and they walk in.
He confidently strolls up to the bar, greeting the bartender, who seems to recognize him and greets him with a friendly handshake, causing her to let go of his hand. The bartender, Adam, he introduces himself as, is already filling up a pint of beer for Nico as he asks her what she wants to drink. She orders herself a rum and coke. He asks if Nico wants “his usual” for the food order and Nico nods, also adding something else that he says too fast for Clementine to decipher. But Adam just nods, before saying he’ll put the order in and goes to prepare their drinks.
“You come around here often?”
Nico shrugs. “I guess. A bunch of the boys do. It’s a good place to hang out and grab some food.” They both grab their drinks and Nico leads her to the outdoor patio with his hand hovering over her back.
She slides into her seat, putting her hair up and taking a sip of her drink. “I’m sorry about the loss.”
“It’s not the end of the world, since we’ve already clinched playoffs…”
“But it still sucks?” She finishes for him. He nods, and she offers a sympathetic smile. “I get it, especially against the Rangers, I’m sure. But you guys still skated really well.”
“Thanks.” He smiles over his glass. “How was your day?”
Clementine blinks repeatedly, her throat suddenly feeling rough. It’s more likely that he’s just asking to be polite, but the fact that after a tough loss, he’s interested and cares enough to even ask. He must notice something shift in her eyes because he softens, hands itching to grab hers. She does the job for him, grabbing his hand probably too quickly. But before she can think too much on it, he loosely intertwines their fingers on the table.
She clears her throat. “Honestly, not the best. Ending on a good note though.”
“Do you wanna talk about it?”
She chuckles weakly. “Would you even wanna hear it?”
“Of course I would.”
She finds nothing but sincerity in his eyes. She takes another sip of her drink. “One of the our cancer patient’s chemo results came back ineffective, which is just…so fucking shitty. Docs aren't deterred though and they talked with the kid’s parents today about targeted therapies which is good…” she trails off with a shrug. “Just being in the room as they broke the news, it…I don’t know. It’s always tough. Had me thinking.”
“Back to your own dad?” Nico asks carefully.
Clementine nods, surprised that he remembered. Before she can respond, their food comes and her stomach is happy seeing the large tray of loaded fries in front of them. They dig in for a moment and she nods. “Yeah.”
“Do you do anything special to celebrate? For his birthday?” He asks.
“Nothing really set in stone. I always try to do something, whether it’s watch his favorite movie or listen to his favorite songs. Something small and personal. I’m usually not in town to visit his grave, but my mom tries to go. He used to always make blueberry pancakes, so Jack and Luke made some this morning, which was sweet.”
“Jack and Luke know how to make pancakes?”
She snorts. “I’m just as surprised as you are. Yeah, so nothing crazy. Called my mom during my lunch break just to make sure she was all good.”
“What does she do?”
“She’s a teacher. 5th grade. So 10 and 11 year olds. She loves it. All the teachers have their own little group. She has her summers off to travel and spend time with family and friends.” Clementine pulls out her phone, quickly finding a picture in her camera roll of her and mom earlier this year at her graduation. “Good old Maeve. Irish to the core and proud of it, yet still can curse you out in Spanish pretty well. Says that that was one of the first things my dad taught her when they were in college.”
Nico laughs. “I still automatically switch to Swiss-German when I wanna curse and chirp. It takes a couple of seconds to translate to English in my head. But sometimes it just sounds so much better in Swiss-German that I wish people could understand.”
“Do you think in Swiss-German still, or do you think more in English?”
“It depends. I would say day to day, definitely Swiss-German. But if I’m at the rink and I’m, you know, talking to the team and stuff, usually English. I’ve trained myself in games to think pretty much in English now, since it’s so fast. But if I’m tired, my brain just switches back to Swiss-German.”
“That makes sense.”
“Do you speak any other languages?”
She wipes her fingers on her napkin. “I speak enough Spanish to be able to get by, though it’s not as great as it used to be. Apparently I was fluent as a child.”
“Is all your family in the states?”
“Nah. Every year during the summer when I was a kid, we used to go to Spain and Ireland to see family over there. I haven’t gotten to go back there in a few years, but I’d like to at some point.”
Nico hums, just as a waiter comes with a plate of two large chocolate chip cookies. Clementine grins at Nico, who just nods at her to dig in. “Where in Spain is your family from?”
“Seville area, so more south.” She smiles, picturing Seville in her head, some of the rum and coke finally hitting her. “I loved getting to see where my dad grew up. Playing soccer in the fields where he played. Eating at the small restaurants he used to eat at. Remember when you asked me where home was?” Nico blinks for a moment before nodding. “I think I lied. It’s physical places sure, but it’s always been more of the people for me. And their joy and where they feel the most joy. So if we’re basing it off that, home could be Seville. Home could be Cork in Ireland. Home could be Toronto. Home could be Boston. Hell, home could be fucking Michigan with Q, Jack and Lukey even if I’ve only been there, like, three times.”
“Well, where’s home for you at this second? Right here. Right now.”
“I don’t know. Everywhere? Nowhere?” She looks down at the table, eyebrows furrowing at herself at how emotional she’s getting. She blames the rum, from just now and earlier at the game. “That’s a depressing answer. I’m sorry. I guess, I just, when Luke scored tonight, the 43 on the back of his jersey, for a split second, I thought my dad was sitting next to me. I reached out to the empty seat next to me like he was. But he wasn’t. And I’m so, so sad he wasn’t.” She sniffles, “I’m sorry. Fuck. This isn’t-”
“Hey, hey.” Nico assures, holding her hand across the table again. “There’s nothing to be sorry for, okay? Nothing. I promise.”
She doesn’t let any tears fall and just stares into Nico’s comforting eyes with a small laugh. “I feel like you’ve seen me emotional a decent amount considering how short of a time we’ve known each other.”
“That’s okay. Emotions are good.” She chuckles again and his dimples grow deeper. “I-I figured today might be hard. I wanted- I wanted to check in and make sure you were okay.”
“So you only asked me to grab food for ulterior motives? Not just cause you wanted to hang out?”
His eyes widen almost comically. “No! No. I-I love spending time with you. I just-”
“Relax, Nico. I’m just messing with you,” she giggles as he rolls his eyes. “I appreciate it, though. Really. I think you’re too kind to me.”
“I’m just the right amount of kind to you.”
She watches as he finishes off his beer and has a sudden urge to lean across the table and kiss him.
…..
(That night, when she comes home, she expects Jack and Luke to be asleep. They aren’t. Instead, they’re both sitting on the couch, some random hockey game on quietly in the background. Their heads snap in her direction as the door clicks shut.
She immediately holds up her hand. “Don’t even. I don’t wanna hear it.”
“Hear what?” Luke says. “That you’re fucking our captain?”
“Crude, first of all. Untrue, second of all. And third of all, and most importantly, you guys are annoying.”
“You’re deflecting,” Jack sings.
“You haven’t asked me a question,” she shoots back. “Goodnight, you two.”
They both groan. “Can you both just get over whatever the fuck you two have going on and make it official?” Jack whines.
“Goodnight,” she repeats, walking to her room. “Don’t forget breakfast tomorrow!”
She collapses on her bed and screams into her pillow)
…..
If Clementine’s completely honest to herself, making it to the home games for the playoffs is a priority because she just wants to be there just as much, if not more, than she wants to be there to support. Hockey with stakes is nerve wracking, but it’s also a completely different game than the regular season. Even after what could be the most bone-tiring day of work, she’s excited to have the next month or so be filled with as much hockey as possible. She doesn’t even try to fight when Jack and Luke automatically put her name down for a ticket for every home game. Even if she won’t be able to make it come the day, she’ll just leave it for one of their friends. She heard that some of Luke’s Michigan friends are trying to make it out, to which she’s simultaneously elated by but also dreading. Their apartment will not be quiet for the foreseeable future.
The day of their first game against the Penguins, she doesn’t have to go into the hospital, since she had just done two overnights in three days. She sleeps soundly until 2 p.m., and crawls out quietly, knowing both Jack and Luke’s door are shut as they’re taking their pregame naps. She pours out a cup of coffee, makes herself a sandwich, before settling on the couch with a textbook beside her and her notebook on her lap.
She hears Jack and Luke start getting ready, shower heads running and closet doors opening and shutting. When they both come out in their game day suits, she insists on taking a picture of the both of them, to which they both groan at. They relent, and she sends the picture to Ellen, Jim and Quinn, before squeezing them and telling them good luck, promising them that she’ll see them afterwards.
After they leave, she starts getting ready, humming to herself as she heats up the flat iron to put some waves and volume into her hair. She figures she has the time, and she hasn’t done anything to her hair in awhile.
As she’s about to put the flat iron to her hair, someone knocks on the door. She rolls her eyes and yells out, “You two have keys, you know? Use them for once.” No response, just three more knocks. She huffs in annoyance, sets her flat iron down and walks to the door.
“I’m going to fucking kill-oh.” It’s Nico, in his perfect game day suit with his hair styled perfectly. “Nico. Hey. Aren’t you supposed to be-”
He kisses her.
Oh.
He’s still kissing her, both his hands on her cheeks and she finds herself fisting his shirt. He’s still kissing her, and she doesn’t want him to stop. He tries to pull away, but she pulls him back in, and she smiles against his lips at the little noise that comes out of his mouth. He tastes like mint and home.
He does eventually pull away, flushed and delighted and flustered. “I have to go.”
“You have impeccably shit timing, Cap.”
They both chuckle. He takes a hold of her hands. “I know, I know. I’m sorry. I just had to.”
“Why?” She’s not letting him go that easy.
He squeezes her hands. His stare is making her feel the most seen she’s felt in awhile. “Well, I-I have a long answer that I don’t think I can think of right now. But the short answer is that I like you. A lot. And I’ve wanted to kiss you since the day at the hospital and every day since.”
She swallows, straightening his shirt that she messed up. “Go. I’ll see you after the game, yeah?” She kisses him on the cheek before forcing herself to back away. With one last grin, he shoves his hands in his pockets and turns around. She leans her hip against the door frame, “Nico?”
He turns back around in the middle of the hallway, “Yeah?”
She grins, fondness in her skin and bones. “Good luck. You’ll be great.” With one last salute from him, she closes the door. She leans her back against her door and lets out a little squeal.
…..
(The second Nico walks out of the locker room, all she can see is him. His hair is messy as all hell and he looks exhausted, but his face lights up, and for the first time, she knows it’s because of her.
Without another word, she walks over to him and kisses him. It’s hard to ignore the cheers and whistles from the other people around them, but she ignores them, catching her breath with a giggle. She finally hones in on the other people in the room. Dawson’s grinning, Ryleigh shoots her a thumbs up, Curtis is audibly ‘aww’ing, Jonas is yelling something that she can’t understand but Nico can, judging from his blush.
“Ew,” Nico and Clementine whip around to see Luke with his nose scrunched up. “Like, I’m happy that you two finally, you know, got your heads out of your asses, but ew. I don’t wanna see it.”
Jack, who’s right next to him, is just grinning. For once, he’s saying nothing. Clementine’s suspicious. She narrows her eyes at him. “Nothing to say, Jacky?”
“Nothing Hisch doesn’t already know,” the two centers exchange a look that has her whipping her head between the both of them. “He’s just lucky we already played Vancouver so he doesn’t have to encounter Quinn.”
“You guys are ridiculous,” Clementine scolds. “Leave him alone.”
“Never, especially not now. Now he’s really stuck with us.” Jack beams. “You gonna ride with Cap or are we taking you home?”
She pokes Nico in the side. He looks down at her with a sweet smile. “Drive me home?” She asks.
“Always.”
For herself, but more to annoy Jack and Luke, she kisses him one more time. They both groan as Clementine feels Nico’s smile against her lips.)
#k writes#hockey fanfiction#hockey fanfic#devils#new jersey devils#nico hischier#nico hischier fic#nico hischier x oc#jack hughes#luke hughes#quinn hughes#nico hischier blurb#hockey blurb#nhl fic#nhl fanfiction#nhl blurb#nhl
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Hidden feelings
A/N: update!!! ngl i hate being the reader & having to wait for an update haha so i’ll try to be quick with it. Also cuz i enjoy writing this. FORGOT TO MENTION. THIS AU & SOME OF ITS IDEAS ARE HEAVILY INSPIRED BY ARTIST @/_ceceru ON TWITTER. So definitely check your their school au one piece art to get a visual of the story :D it’s so cute. also ignore the shit editing i’m not use this tumblr stuff…
warnings: none as of yet..?
pairing: Luffy x Fem Reader
WC: 4.8k
part 1 here!!!!!
Chapter 2: Flow
The morning sun rays went through the curtains of your room, gently waking you from her sleep. You rubbed eyes and stretched, feeling a mix of excitement and nervousness. Today was Friday, and it was the day you planned to return Luffy’s hat.
You got out of bed and started with your usual morning routine. You brushed your teeth, washed your face, applied your usual makeup, and dressed in your school uniform. As you fixed up your hair for today, you glanced at Luffy’s yellow hat resting on your desk. You had spent a good part of the previous evening mending it, making sure it looked as good as new.
With a deep breath, you picked up the hat and placed it carefully in your bag. You went downstairs, had a quick breakfast, said goodbye to your family and headed out the door to catch the bus to school. The streets were bustling with students and commuters, and the atmosphere was lively, everyone excited for the weekend ahead.
At school, you went through your usual day. You attended her classes, took notes, and did your best to focus, but your mind kept drifting to the certain yellow hat in your bag. During lunch, the cafeteria was buzzing with activity. You spotted Luffy sitting with his friends, the Straw Hats club, their table lively and full of laughter.
You took a deep breath and started walking towards them, but as you got closer, your anxiety took over. The thought of approaching Luffy in front of all his friends felt overwhelming. You turned around and went to by your lunch mate’s table instead. They greeted you with kind gestures but didn’t bother you throughout the period, sensing your feelings of frustration and irritation.
Throughout the day, you tried to find the right moment to approach him, but he was always surrounded by people. Each time you gathered the courage to walk up to him, your nerves got the better of you.
Finally, the last bell of the day rang, signaling the end of school. Students started to disperse, eager to begin their weekend. You gathered you belongings and decided to make one last attempt. You walked through the emptying hallways, your heart pounding.
Near the bathrooms, you saw Luffy standing alone, adjusting his backpack. This was your chance. You took a deep breath and approached him, your hands nervously trembling slightly.
"Uh, Luffy?" you called out softly.
He turned around, his usual grin lighting up his face. "Oh, hey, Y/N! What’s up?"
You reached into your bag and pulled out his signature yellow hat. "I, um, found this yesterday. It was under a bench in the courtyard, so I took it home and fixed it up for you. It was really teared up from the cap part.”
Luffy’s eyes widened in surprise and delight. "No way! You found it? Thank you so much!" He took the hat from your hands, examining it closely. "Wow, it looks brand new!"
You smiled, feeling a sense of relief. "I’m glad you like it."
Luffy looked at you with genuine gratitude. "You’re really amazing, Y/N. Hey, how about I get you a drink from the vending machine as a thank you?"
Before you could respond, he continued, "Actually, you know what? Let’s go grab something to eat. There’s a small restaurant near the school, you know the pirate seafood themed one. My friends kinda busy right now, so it’ll be just us."
Your eyes widened in surprise. "Um, that sounds great, but—"
Luffy didn’t wait for you to even finish. "Awesome! Meet me there in about an hour, okay?" He gave you a quick wave and jogged off, leaving you standing there, stunned.
As you made her way home to drop off your bag, change out your uniform and freshen up, you couldn’t believe what had just happened. You are going to have dinner with Luffy, alone. A mix of excitement and nervousness filled you, but you knew this was a chance to get to know him better and maybe even become friends.
The sun was setting as you walked to the restaurant, a tiny spark of hope igniting in your heart.
~
You arrived at the small seafood restaurant near the school a little early. It was a cozy place with a warm, welcoming atmosphere. The soft hum of conversation and the scent of delicious food filled the air, making you feel slightly more at ease. You chose a table by the window and sat down, nervously fidgeting with your hands.
After a few minutes, the door swung open, and Luffy walked in, his usual bright smile on his face. He spotted you and made his way over, waving enthusiastically. "Hey, Y/N! Thanks for waiting."
You smiled shyly. "No problem, Luffy. I just got here myself."
Luffy plopped down in the seat across from you, looking around the restaurant with curiosity. "This place looks great! I’ve always wanted to try it."
You nodded. "Mhm, it’s really nice. I’ve heard their food is amazing."
A waiter came by to take their orders, and Luffy, with his usual enthusiasm, ordered a variety of dishes, making you chuckle. You opted for something simple, feeling a bit more relaxed as she watched Luffy’s excitement.
As you both waited for their food, Luffy leaned forward, his eyes shining with curiosity. "So, Y/N, tell me about yourself. I mean, I see you around school, but we’ve never talked at all.”
You felt a bit nervous but was glad for the opportunity to share. "Well, there’s not much to tell. I like reading and studying. I like to hang out with my friends after school, uh.” You slightly lied, not finding the correct answers that will please him so you made something up.
Luffy nodded, listening intently. "That’s cool. I like hanging out with my friends too. We have a LOT of fun together. Hmm do you have any hobbies?"
You thought about it for a moment. "I like drawing and painting. It’s a nice way to relax and express myself."
Luffy’s eyes lit up. "That’s awesome! You should show me your drawings sometime. I bet they’re really good."
Your face slightly warmed at the replied, feeling flattered. "Maybe I will."
Your conversation flowed naturally, with Luffy sharing funny stories about his friends and their adventures, making you laugh. You found yourself feeling more comfortable, enjoying his company and the way made you feel at ease.
When your food arrived, you both dug in with enthusiasm. Luffy’s excitement over the dishes was contagious, and you couldn’t help but smile at his reactions. You shared bites of your meals, laughing and talking about their favorite foods.
As you finished your meals, Luffy leaned back in his chair, looking content. "This was really fun, Y/N. I’m glad we did this. And we ate really really good.”
You nodded, feeling a warm sense of happiness. "Me too, Luffy. Thank you for inviting me."
Luffy grinned. "Hey, anytime! We should hang out more often. You’re really cool, Y/N.”
Your heart fluttered at his words. "I’d like that."
You both split and paid the bill and then left the restaurant, walking side by side under the evening sky. The streets were quiet, and the stars were just slightly starting to appear, creating a scenery.
As you walked, Luffy turned to you. “Thanks again for finding my hat and fixing it up. It really means a lot to me. Like a lot. It’s from a special someone, you know.”
You smiled. "It was my pleasure, Luffy. I’m glad I could help."
You reached the corner where you guys would part ways, and Luffy stopped, looking at you with a sincere expression. “You know, you’re kinda cute, Y/N.”
Luffy gave you a quick, friendly hug, catching you even more off guard and rushing to this way. Before you could even respond, he turned and sprinted towards the bus stop that was different from yours, waving as he went. “See you tomorrow, Y/N! Oh wait— Cya Monday!”
“And don’t forget to meet my friends soon!” He yelled out from the distance before slowing down and riding on his bus home.”
You watched him run off, feeling warmness in your chest. This evening had been more than you could have hoped for. You had spent time with Luffy, shared laughs and stories, and felt a connection growing between you both.
As you made your way home, you couldn’t stop smiling. This was probably just the beginning, and you looked forward to what the future held. For now, you cherished the memories of your first little dinner together.
~
The weekend flew by in a blur of activity. You spent Saturday shopping with your siblings, trying to find clothes that suited your style. You had experienced a small crisis last time, picking out an outfit when you went out with Luffy, and wanted to be more prepared in the future. As you browsed through racks of clothes, she visualized different outfits, hoping to make it easier to plan ahead. You also were in need of some makeup products to try out new looks and enhance it. Your siblings also offered their opinions, turning the shopping trip into a fun bonding experience.
Sunday was a mix of chores, homework, and relaxation. You tackled your assignments in the evening, making sure everything was ready for the upcoming week. Despite the busyness, you still felt a warm, happy glow from Friday’s dinner with Luffy. The memory of your time together lingered, making you smile every time you thought about it.
Monday morning arrived, and you went through your usual routine. You got dressed in your uniform, and applied your makeup, doing a little more than usual going out for a different makeup style. You felt more confident about your appearance. The school day began like any other, and you headed to your locker to gather your things for class.
As you were busy organizing your books, you heard commotion down the hall. It was Luffy was running around, fooling with his friends Usopp, Chopper, and Sanji. Their laughter echoed through the corridor, and you chuckled at their antics.
Suddenly, Luffy came barreling towards you. Before you could react, he ran into you, knocking you to the ground. Your books scattered across the floor, and you looked up in shock. He had clearly seen you in the hallways so you didn’t think you would get caught up in the commotion or be in the way, and left completely caught off guard.
Sanji immediately rushed over to you, scolding Luffy. “Oi, Luffy! Watch where you’re going! You can’t just run into a lady like that!”
He offered his hand to help you up, his expression full of concern. “Are you okay, Miss? That was quite a tumble.”
You nodded, accepting his hand and getting you to your feet. “Yeah, I’m fine. Thank you.”
Luffy scratched his head, looking sheepish. “Sorry about that, Y/N. I didn’t mean to knock you over.”
Sanji continued to fuss over her, making sure she wasn’t hurt. “You need to be more careful, Luffy. You could’ve seriously harmed such a beautiful girl.”
Luffy grinned, seemingly unfazed by the scolding. “Hey, guys, this is Y/N. She’s the girl I told you about from Friday.”
Usopp’s eyes widened, and he elbowed Luffy playfully. “Oh, so this is the girl you went on a date with?”
Luffy laughed, waving off the comment. “It wasn’t a date, Usopp. We just had dinner together.”
Usopp smirked. “Sure, sure. Whatever you say, Luffy.”
Luffy turned back to you, introducing you to his friends. “Y/N, this is Usopp, Chopper, and Sanji. Guys, this is Y/N.”
They all greeted you warmly. Usopp gave you a friendly wave, Chopper smiled shyly, and Sanji bowed slightly, his demeanor polite. “Nice to meet you, Y/N.”
Usopp grinned. “You should sit with us at lunch, Y/N. It’ll be fun.”
Chopper nodded enthusiastically. “Yeah, you should! We’d love to get to know you better.”
Luffy didn’t wait for her to respond. “Yeah, come sit with us! Uh you usually sit with Vivi right?? She’ll be okay with it.”
You felt a mix of excitement and nervousness. You had always admired the close-knit group of friends from afar and now had the chance to join them. “Okay, I’d like that.”
Luffy’s grin widened. “Great! See you at lunch then.”
As they went their separate ways to class, you couldn’t help but feel a flutter of excitement. You had just been pulled into Luffy’s world, and the prospect of getting to know his friends better made your heart race. The morning had started with a bit of chaos, but it was turning out to be an unexpectedly wonderful day.
The day flew by and when lunchtime finally arrived you made your way to the cafeteria, your heart pounding with anticipation. You spotted the usual table where Luffy and his friends gathered, filled with laughter and lively conversation. Taking a deep breath, she approached the table.
Luffy waved over at you enthusiastically. “Y/N! Over here!”
You walked over, feeling a mix of shyness and excitement. The group made room for you, and you sat down next to Luffy. “Hi, everyone.”
Most of them greeting you with the kind smiles.
The table was full of energy and chaos. Luffy and Usopp were animatedly discussing their latest adventure, while Chopper listened with wide-eyed wonder. Sanji was busy serving the cafeteria line, his duty as a volunteered chief in the school.
Y/N also noticed Nami and Robin sitting together, engaged in conversation. Franky was tinkering with something, his mechanical hand making small adjustments, while Brook strummed a soft tune on his guitar. Zoro, as usual, was napping in his seat, his head resting on his folded arms.
Nami looked up and smiled warmly at Y/N. “Hi, Y/N. I’m Nami. I’ve heard from you before from Vivi.”
Robin nodded in agreement. “It’s nice to meet you. I’m Robin. You seem like a very interesting person.”
You felt herself light up under their attention. “Nice to meet you both.”
Sanji, ever the gentleman, made his way to the table and placed an organized and appetizing plate in front of you. “Here you go, Y/N. Enjoy!” While motioning over
to Nami and Robin’s side and also placing their plates down with utensils.
“Hmph. No fair Sanji only bothers to serve the girls.” Usopp grumbled while getting up to line up for a plate.
Luffy and Chopper running behind him as well while chanting “food! food!”
As lunch continued, you felt herself becoming more comfortable. The infamous friend group included you in their conversations, making you feel like part of the group. You laughed at Usopp’s exaggerated stories, listened to Chopper’s excitement about his latest medical class studies, and even joined in when they talked about their favorite foods.
Luffy was his usual cheerful self, making sure you felt included and comfortable. He talked about his friends and the soccer team, explaining how much he loved the sport. “Soccer’s the best! You should come watch our game sometime.”
You smiled. “I might just do that then.”
Luffy’s eyes lit up. “Ahaha. You should meet the rest of the team too.”
The bell ring and as they all got up to head to their next classes, Luffy turned to you with a grin. “See? Told you it’d be fun. You should sit with us every day.”
You smiled back, feeling grateful for his kindness. “Yeah, it was. Thanks, Luffy.”
You headed to class and continued on with your day. Even if before you had noticed some of Luffy’s friends in your classes, you had never approached them. Since you didn’t know them and they didn’t know you, they were just any other classmate although you observed them more than others.
However, now that you were introduced to his gang, some of them now approached you in class. Starting with Nami, whom you have majority of classes with.
It was during AP Geography and Human Studies, that she approached you first. “Hey Y/N. Let’s sit together from now on. I don’t really like the people I sit with in this class.” She mentioned while taking a seat to the always empty chair next to you in class.
“Ah okay,” You replied softly. You didn’t mind her sitting with you at all, infact you hoped she would now that you both know each other. You always had a feeling you would get along with Nami, you were intrigued and inspired by her fashion and her beauty. Alongside her leadership skills and her intelligence. She’s the smartest student in this class, geography being her strongest subject probably.
“You know, you don’t have to be so tense with me. You’re always so quiet and keeping replies short. You can losen up around me. I promise I won’t judge. I want to be your good friend as well.” She motioned, with a gentle smile on her. Her pretty and expressive brown eyes gazing, seemingly analyzing you.
You shy away from her stare and replied, “Mhm okay. Thank you Nami. I want to be your good friend as well. I really admire you, especially your looks.” You hummed softly.
“Aw really? Thanks. I try you know. If you need any tips just let me know like…” She listed some out and you listened attentively. Afterwards, Mr. Cobra, Vivi’s father, made his way to his desk and settled down the class to begin the lesson. Nami and you stopped your conversation and quickly opened your notes to begin.
After the bell rung and the class period ended, you said your goodbyes to Nami for the day since you won’t be seeing her in your last few classes and rushed out to reach the PE locker room before the warning bell rings.
After changing out of your regular uniform and on top your PE one, you made your way to the gymnasium.
You usually just wandered off, never really grouping with other students and letting Mr Shanks just group you in with anybody.
You were standing there, distanced away from others as Mr Shanks explained the rules of the game you’ll be playing today.
You heard noise behind you and look back to see Zoro slowly walking to the circle formed of students in the middle of the gym. He nodded at your direction, his way of greeting and got back to listening to Shank’s instructions.
Zoro was in this class as well, however he was often very late, due to getting “lost” on the way here. You had no clue how he would get lost, sure, the school was fairly big but there was clear signs everywhere of where everything was and directions given out. It was almost halfway through the school year already. Either way. Mr Shanks always left him off the hook and consequence of getting a tardy since Zoro has a defense position on the soccer team, which Shanks coaches.
You hoped you both can get along later on so you won’t feel as alone as you feel in this class, having no companions to practice with and in general, talk while working out. You have observed Zore before and he isn’t really one to talk unless he feels comfortable around you like you seen when he walks with Luffy and Nami in the hallways, fooling around and bickering.
Shank’s whistle broke your train though and signified to get in positions for the game for today. You joined your classmates on the side of the gym, ready to give your best effort. Shanks had a way of making every activity feel like an adventure, his laughter echoing across the gym building as he encouraged everyone to push their limits and have fun.
~
The day flew by in a blur of lectures, assignments, and fleeting interactions. You navigated your classes with a focused determination.
As the final bell rang, signaling the end of the school day, you mentally reviewed your upcoming challenges. Tomorrow was going to be a kinda busy day, with a presentation for Biology with Mr. Jinbei and a chemistry quiz for Mr. Caesar Clown. You felt a familiar twinge of nervousness but also a sense of readiness. You had prepared thoroughly, and while the thought of presenting in front of the class made you stomach flutter, you knew she could handle it.Gathering your things, you made your way to her locker and then we’re ready to go home.
You exited the school building, your backpack feeling heavier than usual with the chem book in there needed for future later today. The day had been long and stressful, filled with classes and looming quizzes. You put on your headphones, scrolling through your playlist and settled for a soothing track to calm your mind. While you like to observe your surroundings and take in all visual and sound, you also often needed music playing in your ears to ease you up.
Lost in your own thoughts, you didn’t notice the group of your newly made friends gathered near the school entrance until you heard your name being called.
“Y/N!” Luffy’s voice was unmistakable, full of enthusiasm. You turned to see him jogging towards you, his friends following closely behind.
“Hey, Y/N!” Nami waved, her brown eyes sparkling with excitement. “We’re going to get boba drinks. Wanna join us?”
“It’s all last minute,” Luffy added, grinning widely. “Nami was craving it, and now we’re all going together.”
You hesitated for a moment, your initial instinct to retreat into your comfort zone fighting with the opportunity to spend more time with them. But the inviting smiles on their faces made the decision easier.
“Okay, I’d love to,” you replied, a small smile tugging at your plumped lips.
The group walked to the nearby boba shop, the lively chatter making you feel a part of something special, again. You noticed Zoro trailing behind, looking half-sleepy, while Sanji animatedly discussing some food recipes with Robin, who listened with her usual calm and attentive demeanor, with Franky’s hand in hers. Brook and him engaged in a playful debate about music, and Usopp was excitedly talking about a new gadget he was working on.
Your back also felt lighter than before. Before making the sightly distanced walk to the boba shop, Sanji had offered to carry your backpack, carrying his and Nami’s as well. You were about to declined until Luffy just snatched it off your back and carried it for you, grinning cutely at you.
Continuing, he walked alongside you, chatting about his upcoming soccer match this weekend. “Shouldn’t you be practicing today? I thought practices was required every day after school.” You asked curiously.
“Oh yeah, we did but Shanks had something after school. So practice was cancelled today.” Luffy replied.
“You should come watch us practice tomorrow tho! And come to our game this weekend. Shanks always takes us out to eat if we win, and i’m sure we will so i’ll sneak you in with us.” Luffy added on, with his signature mischievous grin on his face and a little twinkle in his eyes.
“Mhm, i’ll be there. I’ll have to ask my parents for permission if it’s during the weekend tho.” You replied back, with more confidence than usual that ignited from his invitation. Your heart felt light and bubbly.
At the boba shop, you all crowded around the counter, each of them choosing their favorite flavors. You, feeling a bit overwhelmed, let them decide for you.
“Get her the taro milk tea,” Nami suggested. “It’s a safe choice.”
When their drinks arrived, they found a large table to accommodate everyone. The conversation flowed effortlessly, with Nami and Robin making sure you felt included. The group’s dynamic shone through. Luffy, being his usual playful self, grabbed a handful of boba balls and stuck them to his teeth, making silly faces. Nami and Usopp laughed, quickly snapping pictures with their phones.
“Hey, Y/N, you’re gonna love this,” Luffy said, his voice slightly muffled by the boba balls.
You chuckled softly, feeling a warm sense of belonging. Despite the chaos, there was a sense of harmony among them, and you felt yourself relax.
“So, Y/N, what do you think?” Nami asked, gesturing to the taro milk tea.
You took a sip, the creamy sweetness spreading across your tongue. “It’s really good,” you said, smiling.
As you continued to chat and enjoy the drinks, Luffy and Usopp started a mini food fight with the boba balls, much to Sanji’s chagrin. Zoro, who had snapped off his sleepy mode joined in, adding to the chaos. Franky laughed, encouraging their antics while Robin watched with an amused smile and Brook laughing with his silly ‘Yohoho’ echoing throughout the shop.
You found yourself laughing along, your earlier stress melting away. The group vibrant energy and camaraderie were infectious, and you felt grateful to be a part of it.
You noticed Chopper beside you had pulled out his chemistry notes, flipping through them with a determined look. You seeing this, decided to join him, grabbing some of your notes and reviewing for the quiz.
“You’re really serious about this,” You remarked, impressed.
“Of course! I want to do well,” Chopper said, his eyes shining with determination.
You nodded, feeling a kinship with the little brown haired guy. As you both studied, the others continued their lively conversations, occasionally glancing over and offering their good-lucks for tomorrow’s quiz.
After a while, Usopp pulled out his phone, scrolling through the pictures they had taken. “HA, send me that one. Luffy looks so stupid.”Nami laughed, while pulling out her phone, which you noticed had a clear case and a small polaroid of Vivi decorated with hearts.
“Hey, Y/N, wanna be in your group chat?” Usopp asked, turning to you.
“um yeah,” you softly replied, nodding your head.
“Give me your account info then ,” Usopp said, grinning. “I’ll add you to it. We use it a lot to keep in touch and plan stuff.”
Feeling a bit overwhelmed but touched by their inclusiveness, you gave Usopp her details. He quickly added you to the chat, and soon enough, her phone buzzed with new notifications.
“Welcome to the crew!” Usopp announced, giving you a thumbs up.
As the evening progressed, the boba drinks were finished amidst laughter and animated conversations. Nearly three hours had passed in the cozy boba shop, and outside, the sun had begun its descent, casting a warm glow over the autumn-colored trees.
With the daylight fading, the group started to gather their things, mindful of the time. Nami and Robin, ever the nurturing duo, insisted that you don’t take the bus home with the evening growing late.
“It’s not safe,” Nami stated firmly, her concern evident in her expression.
“I agree. Let us get you an Uber,” Sanji chimed in, offering his phone.
Luffy, who had offered to walk with you part of the way to the bus station, looked slightly disappointed at the plan changing.
“Aw, c’mon guys, she’ll be fine,” Luffy protested, though his concern was genuine.
“It’s better this way, Luffy,” Robin reassured him with a gentle smile. “We’ll make sure she gets home safely.”
Reluctantly, Luffy nodded, understanding their point. Sanji ordered an Uber for you, ensuring the destination was set correctly before you handled the phone back.
“Make sure you get home safe, okay?” Luffy said earnestly, his usual carefree demeanor momentarily replaced by a more serious tone.
You nodded, touched by his concern. “Thank you, Luffy. I had a great time today.”
“Me too!” Luffy grinned, his usual cheerfulness returning. “You better come next time we go out again.”
With a wave to the others and a final thank you, you stepped into the waiting Uber. The ride home was quiet, the events of the day replaying in your mind. You felt a warmth in your chest, a mix of happiness and gratitude for the new friendships that was forming.
~
Arriving home, you settled into her room, feeling content. changing to your pijamas and climbing to your bed. You just layed down, enjoying the silence that your home offered as late night approached. Until you felt vibrations coming from your phone, notifications from the LINE app popping up. It was the group chat Usopp had added you to.
You browsed through the messages, saving the silly pictures Usopp took of Luffy earlier. Giggling at some of their funny remarks and insults to one other. You sent Sanji a quick thank you text for the uber he ordered for you earlier, and receiving a corny reply, ‘Anytime Y/N gorgeous 😍!’ followed by a long lines full of hearts and more romantic emojis.
Then Nami complained to shut up because she needs to sleep. You turned off your phone and settled it down, while going to the washroom and starting your night routine of skin care and brushing your teeth. Afterwards, you tugged into your bed and attempted to close your eyes and fall into sleep.
Your mind drifting back to the whirlwind of events that had recently brought you closer to Luffy and his friends. Reflecting on the day, it had been filled with laughter, camaraderie, and unexpected moments—a day you will fondly recall as you drifted into dreams of your subconscious.
a/n: is this too corny or too slow? 😣 Feedback pls except don’t be too mean yall. Also will try to have more longer updates!!! just cuz. Thank you!
#monkey d. luffy#monkey d luffy x reader#luffy x female reader#luffy x reader#one piece fanfiction#one piece fanfic#i love luffy#cute#series#high school au#fun#one piece#one piece work#part 2
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Never Let Go || George Weasley
Title: Never Let Go Pairing: George x Reader Summary: Turns out building a family isn’t as easy as George thought it would be. A/N: part 2 to dad!george x nanny!reader! Though it’s not so much nanny!reader anymore as it’s more like stepmom!reader but whatever! Hope you guys enjoy and feedback is always welcome/appreciated! <3
-
It’s no surprise that George finds them in the backyard.
Summer is finally in full swing in the UK, and he knows Y/N likes to have Remi out in the fresh air as much as possible. The almost two year old has them on their toes, and spending the day out in the garden, running through the grass seems to be the only way to ensure Remi falls asleep as soon as her head hits the pillow. And George really does mean an actual pillow, since they recently upgraded the crib in her room to a toddler bed.
He has no idea where the time has gone.
He had hoped to sneak up on them, considering the fact that it’s the middle of the day on Tuesday and he’s supposed to be at work. But when he steps out onto the back porch he isn’t met with the sight of Y/N and Remi kicking a ball back and forth or blowing bubbles. No, the scene he walks in on is much more precious.
Y/N is laying in the hammock, one foot on the ground to slowly rock it back and forth while Remi lays on top of her chest, fast asleep. They’ve got matching white sundresses on, a gift for Mother’s Day from Molly. He figures Y/N is asleep too, but when the deck stairs creak under his weight her eyes open and a bright grin takes over her face.
“George,” she breathes, voice quiet so as to not wake their toddler. “You’re home early.”
“I missed my girls and I’ve been jealous of all the fun you two have been having together,” George explains as he approaches. “Besides, Fred has been having so much fun torturing the interns he won’t even notice that I’m gone.”
Y/N giggles and pats the empty netting beside her. “Here, come join us.” When George gives Remi a weary glance, she waves away his concerns. “She’s out cold and probably will be for another hour, Sandra next door’s St. Bernard chased her around the yard for over an hour this morning.”
George rounds the hammock, carefully easing himself down next to the girls so he doesn’t flip them. He lays down on his side facing Y/N, propping his head up with one hand while the other rests on Remi’s bum, just below where Y/N’s own hand is. He leans in and kisses his daughter’s messy curls, before placing one on his girlfriend’s temple.
He can’t believe that it’s been almost eighteen months since that day at the brownstone, when he opened up his front door to meet his new nanny only to fall head over heels in love with her instead. It’s hard to believe how much has changed in such a short time.
For starters he sold that stupid brownstone that he loved so much. As Remi got older it was clear his bachelor pad was not easily converted into a family home, and the pathetic stretch of grass he called a back yard was insufficient for his sweet summer child who loved running barefoot in the grass. Plus with Y/N in their lives, the possibility of someday growing their family was always in the back of George’s mind and a London townhome was barely big enough for the three of them.
So with a great return on his investment and a little dipping into his savings, George was able to buy a large family home in one of the uppity neighborhoods on the outskirts of London. Sure his commute every day is hell, but they’ve got a backyard big enough for them to add a dog or two, the best schools in the country are just a short walk away, and there’s plenty of room in case they decide to add to their family one day.
Which is something George hopes happens soon, one of the biggest changes that has happened since Y/N came into their lives. Before Remi George had a hard time imagining himself settling down, getting married and having some kids, and whenever he did it was far into the future by at least ten years. Once Remi was dropped into his lap that outlook had changed, but he always figured it would be just him and his daughter, something he was totally okay with.
Falling in love with Y/N totally changed all of those plans.
He didn’t want a life that was just him and Remi. He wanted one that included Y/N and the love and light she brings with her, with as many kids as she wants to give him. And he didn’t want that life years from now anymore, he wanted it as soon as she would allow him to stick a ring on her finger.
Hence the diamond ring tucked away in the safe at work. George doesn’t think she’s quite there yet, but as soon as she is he’ll be down on one knee and making her his wife.
But by far the biggest change that’s happened is the fact that he no longer has a nanny. Because now Y/N is a stay at home mum. So far that change has certainly been the most difficult, and it’s all thanks to the stubborn girl laying next to him.
Once their relationship became romantic George knew Y/N could no longer be his nanny. Simply for the fact that it felt wrong to hand her a paycheck on Friday morning only to have her underneath him in bed that night. Besides, once that line had been crossed they both considered Remi to be their daughter, not just George’s and he certainly wouldn’t pay his wife or the mother of his child to take care of them.
So he had proposed two possible paths to Y/N.
The first being that he would stop paying her to watch Remi, and in turn George would take over all financial responsibility in their home. His money would become their money, and George would take care of all of their bills while she stayed at home and took care of the house and Remi.
Y/N had flat out told him no. Which aggravated him and made him fall even more in love with her. But George had understood her response once she had explained that of course she considers Remi her daughter, the fact of the matter is she really isn’t Remi’s mum, and she’d feel weird taking on a role without having felt like she really earned it. Which George thought was total bullshit, he understood her point of view, but he thought it was bullshit.
Which led him to propose the second path. Y/N would no longer be Remi’s nanny, giving her the ability to seek a new, day time position with another family. She of course would still live at home with them, and George would find a new nanny to look after Remi during the day while they were both at work.
He figured that would be the perfect solution. Y/N would still be making her own money while getting to be with him and Remi, Remi would have still have that one on one care George wanted for her and he no longer had to pay his girlfriend to hang out with their kid.
Except her response to this proposition was the same as the first. Hell no.
Which had pissed George off to no end. He was trying to find a solution that would make their family work and keep all of them happy, and his sweet, stubborn girl shot him down. Twice. His anger had abated when during one of their arguments Y/N explained that the thought of another woman being in their home taking care of their daughter made her absolutely sick to her stomach. Because how the fuck could George be mad at her for being jealous at the thought of someone else being with Remi.
So for months George kept signing Y/N’s paychecks and they kept fighting about how best to handle things moving forward. And George uses the term fighting very loosely, considering the fact it was more him trying to convince Y/N to let him take care of her and her saying no.
It wasn’t until they moved into the new house, and their neighbor Sandra slapped George across the face and yelled about him being a dirty cheater, did they finally come to an agreement.
Because when Y/N took Remi to the park down the road she’d introduced herself as Remi’s nanny to the neighborhood moms and nannies that were there with their kids. Which normally wouldn’t have been a problem, except for the fact that they started to notice that when Remi called her Mama she never corrected her, and on the weekends it was always George and “the nanny” taking Remi to the park together and they always seemed to be so close.
So when Sandra saw them kiss in the driveway before George went off to work it seemed to confirm the neighborhood gossip that had been going around for weeks: George Weasley was screwing his nanny and was going to replace Remi’s biological mother with her.
Which explains why Sandra, a woman George had barely spoken to at that point, assaulted and confronted him on his own property. Thankfully Y/N had been able to calm Sandra down, and after awkwardly explaining to her that Y/N was both Remi’s nanny and George’s girlfriend and that there was no other woman involved, the rumor mill dried up and everything went back to normal.
But Y/N felt so terrible that she agreed to quit her job as Remi’s nanny, with the stipulation that George let her work a job that still allowed her to be home with their little girl during the day. So now she works for a few families in the neighborhood as a nanny part time, that way whether she’s working or not Y/N is still Remi’s full time caretaker and she can contribute to the house with her own money.
“Whatcha thinking about?” YN murmurs after they’ve been sitting in silence for a bit.
“You, Remi, life,” George answers simply.
“I can’t believe she’s almost two,” Y/N says wistfully, slowly rubbing Remi’s back. “I feel like just yesterday she was learning to crawl and asking for more juice by throwing her empty sippy cup at me,” she pauses as they both laugh. “Now she runs circles around me and says please and thank you.”
“It’s hard to believe that she used to be that tiny, fragile baby I found on my doorstep.”
Y/N stiffens next to him, just like she always does whenever Remi’s biological mother or how Remi came to be in George’s life is mentioned. She’s never even met the woman, but Y/N feels nothing but hatred towards her purely because of how carelessly she abandoned her little girl. There’s also a little jealousy there too, because as Remi gets older it is apparent that looks wise, she takes after the woman who provided the other half of her DNA, giving Remi a connection to her that Y/N will never have. She will love Remi with her whole heart until the moment she takes her last breath, but she will never be the woman that gave her life.
“Even though I hate the way she came into your life,” Y/N starts, tilting her head back so she can look up at George. “I’m really fucking glad she did.”
“Me too, baby,” George agrees, leaning in to kiss Y/N softly. “Me too.”
-
“What are the ethical and legal implications for fucking an intern?” Fred asks suddenly, making all of the men groan. “Hypothetically, of course.”
Every month the Weasley brothers get together for a guys night. They play poker, drink beer and just catch up with each other. They’re at Bill’s tonight, in a shed out in the garden that he converted into a man cave. It’s a full house tonight, with George, Fred, Ron, Bill, Charlie and Ginny’s fiancé Harry all in attendance, and all of them are looking at Fred with disappointment.
“Fred, you shouldn’t have fucked an intern,” Bill scolds, forever the responsible eldest brother.
“Hey, I never said I did. I said hypothetically speaking,” Fred points out. “And I’m a little hurt by all of the judgment boys. Georgie over here fucked his employee and all of you congratulated him. Not fair.”
George rolls his eyes, taking a sip from his beer. “First of all, fuck face, if you talk about my future wife like that ever again I’ll knock you on your ass. Second of all, what happened with Y/N and I is completely different than whatever you plan on doing with one of our interns.”
“Oh please brother, enlighten me,” Fred snaps.
“Well for one I’m not nearly a decade older than her,” George responds, narrowing his eyes as he glares at his brother. “Not to mention the second things turned romantic I tried to fire her, not my fault Y/N is the most stubborn woman on the planet. Any intern you hump and dump will still be our employee for at least two more months. And fraternization in that manner can certainly be construed as sexual harassment, which could end in a horrible, very public lawsuit that will ruin the company we worked so hard to build. Me kissing Y/N ended in a very happy, healthy, romantic relationship. We are not the same.”
Fred is silent for a few moments, and George is almost certain he’s gotten through to his twin. Until the other man opens his mouth.
“So what you’re saying is I should wait until August, once their internship has ended, to fuck them?”
“I need another fucking drink,” George grumbles, pushing away from the table before he heads towards the little bar Bill has set up in the corner. He drowns out the conversation Ron has started, since it’s mainly focused on which intern Fred has his eye on, so he’s surprised when Bill slides up next to him.
“Hey. I’ve got that number you asked Fleur for,” Bill murmurs, holding out a piece of paper for George to take.
He gives it a quick glance, noting it’s nothing but a phone number, no name or identifying information, before he slips it into his pocket. “Thanks man, I appreciate it.” Both the number Bill has given him and his discretion in how he chose to give it to him.
Because George isn’t one hundred percent certain what he’s doing is legal, and the less people that know about it the better.
It feels kind of silly, scolding Fred about ethics and legal ramifications when George finds himself in a similar position, but his motivation has nothing to do with getting his dick wet, so he feels like his pursuit is at least a little justified.
Six months ago he had his lawyer start looking into what’s legally required for Y/N to be able to adopt Remi once they get married. He knows it kills her that the only claim she has to Remi is the one in her heart and George wants to make sure that she has the legal rights to their daughter as well.
Unfortunately for George, the answer was far from simple. Because when Emily, Remi’s biological mother, dropped her on his doorstep there was no documentation that she was officially terminating her rights. Meaning that even though George has been her sole legal guardian for nearly 24 months at any moment in time Emily can reappear, demand custody and have it granted. It also means that Y/N can’t legally become Remi’s mother.
His lawyer had spent a few months trying to dig up any information, in the hopes that Emily had filed the paperwork to terminate her rights and they just didn’t know about it. When that search turned up empty their focus pivoted, and George had his attorney find out how to contact Emily, hoping that they could get her to agree to meet and come in to sign her rights away.
But so far every attempt has failed. Either the numbers his lawyer finds are out of service or no one returns their call. Places of employment claim to have no employees under that name and every address is outdated. It’s been months since their search began and they still have nothing.
Luckily for George his sister-in-law knows some interesting people. He doesn’t want or need to know why Fleur has the number for a private investigator who has a knack for hacking, he’s just thankful that she does.
Because there’s nothing he wouldn’t do for his family.
But the blurred lines between right and wrong keep him from telling Y/N about the information Bill passed along to him when she asks him how boy’s night went as he slips into bed beside her that night. That way if this all ends up blowing up in his face George will be the only one hurt in the process.
At least he hopes.
-
The little family Y/N pulled together started on an unsuspecting Monday morning.
So it makes sense that it all starts to fall apart on one too.
-
“What did you forget this time?” Y/N teases as she pulls open the front door. George only left for work a few minutes ago, and after a weekend at home with their family it’s pretty typical for him to get on the road only to have to turn around to retrieve something he forgot. But the smile fades from her face when she realizes George isn’t the one who rang the bell, but a beautiful brunette woman.
A beautiful brunette woman who has soft curls falling down her back and a face shape that she would recognize anywhere considering the fact that she presses a kiss to that same arched brow every single night.
Nope, Remi’s Father is not standing on the porch - her Mother is.
The woman, Emily, smiles at Y/N either oblivious to the distress on her face or she simply does not care enough to react to it. “Is George home?”
“N-no,” Y/N stutters out, too stunned to say anything else. “He’s at work.”
Emily shakes her head, looking Y/N up and down in a way that’s anything but friendly. “Ah, you must be the nanny then.”
The way she says nanny creates a pit in Y/N’s stomach, and it takes all of her strength not to flinch. Because how fucking dare this woman who abandoned her child show up years later and be anything but thankful and appreciative for the woman who picked up her slack.
“Is there something I can help you with, Emily?” she asks after taking a moment to compose herself.
Because as much as she wants to give this woman a piece of her mind, Remi is just in the other room, and she has to keep her head on straight to make sure no harm comes to her daughter. No matter what this horrid woman thinks of Y/N, Remi is hers, and she’d do anything to keep that little girl safe.
If Emily is surprised to be recognized it doesn’t show on her face. She pulls a card out of her pocket, offering it to Y/N. “No, George will know why I was here. Have him give me a call.”
Y/N isn’t in control of her body as she reaches a shaky hand out and takes the proffered card, her mind numb. She watches as Emily turns on her heel and walks away without a care in the world. Like she didn’t just blow up Y/N’s life.
Because why the hell would George know why Emily came by the house?
And why the fuck doesn’t she?
-
George knows something is wrong the second he walks through the door that night.
Usually the house is filled with noise, Y/N almost always has music playing in the background as she cooks dinner and the sounds of her and Remi laughing echoes off the walls. But tonight when he swings the door open, his mouth opening to shout a greeting he’s met with dead silence.
He’s immediately on edge, worried something has happened to his girls.
“Y/N?” he calls out, voice frantic. “Where are you?”
He searches the bottom floor, switching between calling out for Y/N and Remi, his anxiety heightening each time he goes unanswered. His palms are sweating and he feels like he’s on the verge of a panic attack when he heads upstairs, his body moving without really being aware of where it’s going.
All George knows is that something is wrong and he needs to find Y/N and Remi before he loses his mind.
Finally he swings open Remi’s bedroom door and he takes his first deep breath in what feels like hours. Because Y/N is standing there, her back to the door as she gazes out the window. Her shoulders stiffen, so George knows she’s aware of his presence, but she doesn’t turn when he murmurs her name. It’s then that he finally notices a lack of their daughter, and the packed duffle bag sitting on the floor next to Y/N.
“Where’s Remi?”
“At Bill and Fleur’s,” Y/N answers, her voice flat as she still refuses to look at George.
Her lack of emotion and just general shitty behavior does nothing but piss George off, which is why his words come out sharper than he intends them to. “Y/N what the fuck is going on?”
She finally turns to look at George then, and her appearance has him stifling a gasp. While no tears fall from her eyes, they��re rimmed with red and slightly puffy - a tell-tale sign that she’s spent a good chunk of the day crying. Her body is stiff, her arms crossed like she needs to protect herself. And her eyes, those eyes that George loves so much, are filled with one emotion: betrayal.
“Why don’t you tell me?”
That isn’t what George expected her to say, and he feels a little lame that he doesn’t immediately have a response.
“Maybe you can start by telling me why the fuck, Emily showed up at our house today looking for you, and when I said you weren’t home she just left her number, claiming that you would know exactly why she was here.”
Oh fuck.
Fuck, fuck, fuck.
George’s stomach is in knots and he feels like he’s going to throw up. He should have told Y/N that he was looking for Emily, he feels like such an idiot for keeping that from her. His lawyer has called several of her friends and family members to try and get a hold of her, of course one of them was sure to tell Emily George was looking for her. So it really isn’t a surprise that she decided to track him down instead.
Well at least, not a surprise to him. And why should Y/N have been expecting Emily to show up at their door after no contact for almost two years? He really, really fucked up.
“Baby, wait, it’s not what it looks like,” George starts to explain, taking a step towards her.
But Y/N takes a step back, holding up her hand to cut him off. “Really? Because it looks like you went behind my back and sought out the biological mother of the child you claim to be ours, after she abandoned her on a front porch no less.”
Fuck, it sounds even worse when she puts it like that.
“Please, just let me explain,” George pleads.
But Y/N just shakes her head. “The time for you to explain would have been before any of this shit started.” She picks her bag up and tears start to well in her eyes. “I need a second George, to think about things. To think about what Emily being back around means for me and us and this family. Fleur and Bill are going to keep Remi for tonight, and Sandra agreed to watch her while you’re at work for the next few days.”
As she walks out of the room Y/N pauses next to George. “Emily’s number is on the counter in the kitchen. You better have a damn good reason for needing it.”
George stands there alone in the middle of Remi’s bedroom until he hears the front door click shut behind Y/N. It’s only when he’s sure he’s alone does he allow himself to break down: tears rolling down his cheeks as he falls to his knees.
He thought keeping this secret was going to ensure Y/N felt secure in their family, but now it looks like he may have lost her for good.
-
Y/N plasters a fake smile on her face, not needing all of their friends and family to know how torn up her insides are. Because of course, the weekend after George’s betrayal is Remi’s second birthday, and despite the fact that they’re still not speaking and she’s still not sure where her place in their family is anymore Y/N will always show up for Remi. She’s already had one mother walk out, and Y/N is not about to be another. Emily’s reappearance be damned Y/N loves that little girl, and she’ll happily suffer in silence if it keeps a smile on her daughter’s face.
Despite George’s best efforts, she’s managed to stay away from him so far. Of course they need to have a conversation about what happened, but the middle of their backyard while celebrating their daughter’s birthday is not the time or the place. So she’s kept close to Remi, reveling in the feel of holding her tiny hand as the toddler dragged her around the yard to all of the different activities they have set up.
She’s standing outside the bounce house, watching Remi tumble around with her friends and her Uncle Fred, chatting with one of the Mum’s when she feels his presence behind her. The warmth of his body seeps into her skin, and Y/N’s eyes flutter shut as the scent of his cologne washes over her. Despite all of her hurt and her anger this week without George has been torture, and she’s afraid to admit how good it feels to be near him again.
“Hi,” he greets, leaning in to murmur in her ear. “I’m really fucking happy to see you. I was afraid you weren’t going to show up.”
The other Mum gives her a cheeky wink before wandering off, clearly thinking Y/N and George are reconnecting during a quiet moment of a hectic day. Her stomach drops, both in fear and excitement.
“It’s our daughter’s birthday, George,” Y/N responds once she’s composed herself, eyes reopening as she takes a deep breath. “If you think I’d miss it just because I’m pissed at you, you don’t know anything about me. I’m not Emily.”
Regret slaps George in the face, and he kicks himself for being so stupid. He hasn’t been able to think straight since Monday night, when he came home and his whole world fell apart. Life without Y/N is bleak, and if it weren’t for the little girl giggling wildly as she has fun with her friends, George is sure he would have given up by now.
“I’m sorry, I’m such a fucking idiot,” he apologizes, scrubbing a hand over his face. “Remi hasn’t been sleeping at night because she misses you and I haven’t been sleeping at night because I miss you and I feel so fucking terrible about everything and I can barely breathe let alone think straight.”
He pauses, taking a second to get his shit together.
“Of course I knew you would show up today, your love for Remi has always come first. That’s what I love most about you, how fiercely you love the people you care about.”
Y/N simply nods, to over run with emotion to trust her voice to come out clear and even. Knowing that Remi has been struggling during this time absolutely kills her, and she hates that she has brought her even an ounce of pain. But at least she’s young, and if this really is it for this relationship, Remi will never remember Y/N and the love and loss her brief stint in her life caused.
That’s a thought Y/N has had many times over this past week, and it’s just as heart wrenching to think about as it was the first time. Remi will never remember Y/N, but she’ll spend the rest of her life loving and missing that little girl.
“Can we talk tonight?” George pleads. “I want to explain everything to you, like I should have done on Monday. Or rather even before that night. And if you still want to walk away from this relationship after that I will let you go. But please know that you will always be a part of Remi’s life, whether you and I are together or not. Remi may have come from Emily, but you are her Mother and you always will be.”
George walks away then, and Y/N furiously wipes at the tears leaking down her cheeks before anyone has the chance to notice.
-
Y/N decides to hear George out.
Because even though her heart is hurting and she feels like her trust has been broken, just being in his presence today has made her feel the most normal she has all week. Being by his side while they held Remi and everyone gathered around to sing her happy birthday just felt right, like she was just where she was supposed to be. There is no doubt in her mind that George is the love of her life, and Y/N knows deep down that she’ll always regret not fighting for their relationship. And when George had assured her that no matter their relationship status Y/N would always be in Remi’s life, she figured she had nothing to lose by sitting down and hearing George’s side of things.
Plus, sticking around until the last partygoers made their way out means she gets to put Remi to bed for the first time in almost a week.
Which is where she is now, laying on her side in Remi’s bed with the little girl snuggled up against her. They’ve just finished reading her favorite book ‘I love you to the moon and back’ and now Y/N is slowly stroking her soft curls as she watches Remi’s eyes flutter open and closed and she fights off sleep.
“Mama miss me?” Remi’s sweet voice mumbles, and it makes Y/N’s heart break.
She leans in, pressing her lips against Remi’s forehead. “Mama missed you so much, baby.”
“Miss Mama,” Remi agrees, her lips smacking together as she tries to stay awake. “Love you Mama.”
“I love you too, Rem-Dog. More than you’ll ever know,” Y/N promises. That reassurance must make Remi feel safe enough to fall asleep, and Y/N watches as her eyes finally flutter closed and once her daughter’s breaths have evened out she presses one more kiss to Remi’s forehead before extracting herself from the bed.
“Goodnight, baby,” she murmurs, taking a second to tuck the covers tightly over Remi’s body. She heads towards the door, taking one more look over her shoulder before she closes it behind her. Taking a deep breath Y/N steals herself, preparing for whatever conversation is awaiting her downstairs.
George nearly jumps out of his seat when Y/N comes down the stairs, furiously wiping the sweat from his palms on his trousers. He gestures towards the seat across from him, giving her a small smile. “Sit, please.”
Once she’s seated across from him George sits down too, awkwardly fidgeting in his chair. He crosses and uncrosses his legs several times, his hands wringing together as he tries to figure out where to start.
“Thank you for staying and agreeing to hear me out.”
Y/N gives a curt nod. “I’m not making any promises here, George. But I at least owe it to myself and our family to sit here and listen to what you have to say.”
She watches as George grabs a thick manilla envelope off the chair next to him, waiting with bated breath as he slides a document out of it. He places it on the table, slowly sliding it towards her so that she can see what it is.
Y/N takes a moment to read, her eyes scanning the words over and over again so there’s no doubt in her mind what she’s looking at. As the information soaks in, tears start to form in the corners of her eyes, and she presses a hand to her trembling lips.
“George these are,” she starts, eyes finally flicking up to meet him.
“Adoption papers,” George confirms with a nod. “I told you earlier that no matter what happens between us you’ll always be Remi’s Mum, so I figured this would be a good place to start. That way once this conversation is done you can be free to feel however you want to feel, and not make a decision based on your love for Remi. I love you, Y/N, and I want us to be a family. But I understand that you might not feel that way anymore. So all you have to do is sign on the places that are marked, I already did, file these with the court and Remi will legally be yours too.”
“George, I,” Y/N stumbles, unable to find the words. This is the last thing she imagined George would say to her. And she knows now that whatever awful things she thought George was doing behind her back were nothing more than her insecurities speaking out.
When Emily showed up on their porch it surprised Y/N to her core, and all of those negative thoughts she’s had about feeling like she could never measure up to Remi’s biological mother came rushing back to the forefront of her mind; only made worse by the fact that George had seemingly been trying to get in contact with Emily behind her back.
But sitting here, now, with George offering her a permanent place in Remi’s life even if she doesn’t want one in his - she knows. She knows that this is all just some stupid misunderstanding and she nearly let the best thing that’s ever happened to her slip away.
“What about Emily?” Y/N asks, voice shaking. “I mean, isn’t she technically still Remi’s Mother like, legally?” she clarifies. She remembers when they had to register Remi at their new pediatrician after they moved, and they needed her birth certificate for her file. Y/N had noticed that Emily was still listed there, and when she googled what that meant that night, she found out it meant Emily hadn’t ever signed her rights away, so she still, legally, had a claim to their daughter.
“She signed her rights away,” George explains, a small smile forming on his face when Y/N’s jaw drops. “That’s why she showed up that day. My lawyer has been trying to hunt her down for months, and she must have heard I was looking for her.”
“And she signed them away?” Y/N asks, still in disbelief. “Just like that?”
George nods before launching into the story of what happened.
-
“You’re a hard woman to track down,” Martin, George’s attorney, jokes as Emily and her attorney take seats at the conference table across from them. But the smile is wiped from his face when George gives him a glare.
This is not the time for joking. He’s barely been functioning since Y/N walked out two nights ago, and he just wants to get this shit over with so he can come clean to her and get on his knees to beg for forgiveness. And at least with Emily out of the way, even if Y/N doesn’t want to take him back she can still adopt Remi. He will deal with shared custody and watching Y/N fall in love with someone else as long as it means his girls are together and happy.
“That’s what happens when you don’t want to be found,” Emily replies dryly. Her eyes finally and on George and the smirk that appears on her face makes his stomach turn. “Weasley, long time no see.”
George huffs. “Can we just cut the shit and get this over with? I’d like to get home to my daughter.”
He can’t help but notice that Emily doesn’t react to him claiming Remi as only his, and it just solidifies that going through all this shit was a good decision. Clearly this woman doesn’t give a shit about the little girl they created together, because if he had said something like that in front of Y/N she would have slapped him upside the head and made him sleep on the couch for a week.
“I’m sure she’s doing just fine with the nanny.” Emily’s voice drips with condescension, and it pisses George off even more.
“Don’t talk about her like that,” he seethes. “Y/N is not Remi’s nanny, she’s her mother. And she’s a damn good one, which is something you know nothing about, so I’m not going to let you sit here and talk shit about the woman who has stepped up and done what you never had the balls to do.”
The room is silent, George’s words echoing around the room until Emily’s attorney clears his throat.
“Well now that we’ve gotten that out of the way,” he drawls. “Why are me and my client here?”
“Oh, right.” Martin grabs the manilla envelope sitting on the table, drawing a document out of it. He hands it to Emily’s attorney, giving him a moment to look it over before he speaks again. “We’d like for Emily to relinquish her rights to Remi. It’s been nearly two years since she abandoned the infant, and George would like for his partner to formally adopt their daughter.”
Every second Emily is silent makes George’s stomach sink further and further, and he can feel the bite of his nails digging into his palm from how hard his fists are clenched. Martin had assured George that even if Emily refuses to sign her rights away there were other ways to have them terminated, but it would be a lengthy process. Which George would absolutely not hesitate to pursue, but he wants this done as quickly as possible, which hinges on this right now going the way he wants.
“So I just sign and that’s it? The baby isn’t mine anymore?” Emily finally asks after she’s read the document.
Martin nods in confirmation. “Precisely. If you sign that today I’ll have it filed with the court this afternoon, and you will no longer have any legal rights or ties to Remi.”
“All right, do you have a pen?”
Not even a second of hesitation. The second her attorney puts a pen in her hand Emily is signing, double checking to make sure she hasn’t missed a spot. As soon as she’s satisfied that everything has been taken care of Emily slides the papers back over to Martin, and George feels as if a weight has been lifted off of his shoulders. Emily is finally out of the way, and he and Y/N are free to be a family in every way possible.
As long as she still wants him, that is. That part of the plan is still up in the air.
-
“So, yeah. That was that,” George trails off as his story comes to an end. He sits back in his chair, just watching Y/N as she takes everything in. There’s a few different emotions flitting across their face, but they’re gone before George can tell what they are. Her eyes look at everything in the room except for his face, and he can’t tell if that’s a good sign or not.
“She just signed them away? Just like that?” Y/N finally says, her voice thick with emotion.
“Yep. We were ready to file a lawsuit for abandonment to have them involuntarily terminated but she just picked up a pen and signed them away.”
Y/N shakes her head. “Wow. Fuck her.”
George can’t help but chuckle. “Yeah, I was pissed at first too, because Remi is fucking amazing and how dare her Mum not realize that and fight to be in her life. But then I realized it doesn’t matter, because Emily isn’t Remi’s Mum and never has been. From the second you walked into our lives you have been her Mum, and the reason why she’s such an amazing little girl is because of you and the love and attention you have shown her. It doesn’t matter that Emily gave Remi half of her DNA, you’ve given Remi everything a real Mother should and that’s what matters.”
She doesn’t even know she’s crying until a few tears drip off of her chin, and Y/N works to quickly wipe them away. Everything George has said just erased every single doubt she’s ever had in her mind. Y/N always felt like Remi and Emily would have some kind of bond due to the fact that they share DNA, but hearing George just now and knowing Emily signed her rights away as if it were nothing proves that it’s all bullshit.
The only woman Remi will ever have that bond with is Y/N, and it has nothing to do with blood.
“Why didn’t you just tell me you were looking for Emily, George?” Y/N finally asks. “I would have understood and supported you.”
“Because I’m a fucking idiot, for one,” George admits honestly. “When I first talked to Martin about the steps it would take for you to legally adopt Remi I wanted it to be a surprise. I bought a ring and had this whole plan to ask you to officially be a part of this family. But when we found out that Emily hadn’t signed away her rights I decided to keep it to myself. I didn’t want to get your hopes up if it wasn’t going to go the way we wanted it to.”
Y/N nods that she understands to encourage George to keep going. It’s actually kind of sweet that George had put so much thought into this whole thing, and she understands why he didn’t say anything. Clearly George was aware of the sore spot Y/N had regarding Emily, and she kind of loves him a bit more for trying to be sensitive to that.
“And then Martin’s search for her was going to shit. Every address we had was old or wrong, every phone number was out of service. Any employer we talked to just said she didn’t work there and any friends or family would ignore us. I was kind of starting to get a little desperate,” he admits sheepishly, his cheeks flushed with embarrassment. “So I talked to Fleur and got the contact information for a guy with a, um, special set of skills.”
That gets Y/N curious. “What kind of skills?”
“Hacking, mostly,” George mumbles. “And I wasn’t one hundred percent sure that whatever he was going to do was totally legal, and I figured the less you knew about that the better. If it was all going to go to shit we both couldn’t be in jail. Remi would be left to Fred and we all know how that would end up.”
Once it’s clear George has said everything he needs to Y/N takes a deep breath, taking a second to just let everything sink in. Obviously George made a few mistakes in the way he went about things, she can’t deny how full her heart feels at his gestures. And it’s clear he feels absolutely terrible about how things came about and he regrets not being honest with her.
“That was really the only reason why you didn’t tell me you were looking for Emily? Because it was supposed to be a surprise and you didn’t want me to know about your potentially illegal activities?”
“I swear,” George promises, placing a hand over his heart. “I’m so sorry I kept it from you and I hurt you. I didn’t mean for that to happen and if I could go back and do things differently I would.”
Y/N nods in understanding. She brushes her fingers over the adoption papers, tapping them twice. “And no matter what happens between us you’ll let me sign these papers and legally become Remi’s Mum?”
“Of course. You’re her Mama, and I know how much you love her and she loves you just the same. We can go to court to figure out custody or we can just do it between us, whatever you want. But I will never stop you from being a part of our daughter’s life.”
“Well, I think I’ve heard everything I need to.” Y/N pushes away from the table, biting her lip to keep from grinning at the dejected look on George’s face. She stands, but instead of heading towards the door like he thinks, Y/N rounds the table, plopping herself right down into his lap.
“You got your chance to speak,” she starts, putting a finger to George’s lips to keep him from saying anything. “And now it’s my turn. I’m sorry too, for acting the way I did that night. Emily showing up shocked me, and brought all of these insecurities and negative thoughts to the forefront of my mind and I went spiraling down this dark path. I knew that there was a rational explanation for Emily being on our porch and I didn’t give you a chance to explain things. For that I’m sorry.”
“Apology accepted,” George responds once she lets him speak. “But just know I’m only saying that to appease you and not because I really think you owe me an apology.” Y/N finally breaks out into a full smile, and George feels the happiest he has all week.
“And you’ll never go behind my back ever again?”
“Never,” George answers honestly, his voice firm.
Before George has the opportunity to realize what’s happening Y/N leans in, pressing their lips together and pouring every emotion she’s felt over their separation into their kiss. George wraps his arms around her waist, absorbing every bit of hurt, pain, anger, longing and love she passes off to him. Even when their kiss breaks he keeps her pressed tightly to his chest, silently telling her that he plans on never letting go again.
“So,” Y/N starts, her voice teasing. “What’s that you said about buying a ring?”
#george weasley#george weasley fanfiction#George Weasley imagine#george weasley x reader#George Weasley x y/n#george weasley fanfic#harry potter#Harry Potter au#gw#golden
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Pretty Little Letter’s
Dbf Negan Smith x Fem Reader
Synopsis - After finishing college you decide to on a gap year to take a breather after many years of hard work. Setting out to travel the country, you promise to write to your dad every week, what happens when his best friend Negan makes you promise to write to him too.
Warnings- No apocalypse AU, dads best friend, large age gap, feelings, love confessions, adventures, reader travelling, reader described as female, mentions of cheating, Negan is the one cheated on in this fic by ex wife, struggles with feelings, I took the John Winchester idea and made Negan a mechanic, obviously not canon at all, vague mentions of sex, but no actual smut in this chapter. There will be in later chapters though so 18+ only please.
Let me know if I’ve left anything out
Word count - 6.6K (sorry it’s a long one)
This is part one of two chapters in this mini series.
_______________________________________
Tomorrow was the day, the day you’ve been waiting for, the day you were leaving for an adventure. After 4 years of hard work and dedication, you had graduated Yale University with honours. You’d surpassed anything you felt you could accomplish, with the amazing support of your dad, who had raised you single-handedly. He has supported you throughout your life from scrapped knees and boo boos as a child, to finishing school with the grades you needed to get into Yale.
It was a dream you’d always had, even as a child. You’d pinned up pictures of the college on your wall, telling your dad ‘one day I’ll be here!’ When you received the letter you’d ripped it open with such ferocity, your dad was sure you’d shred your hands. Only to crumple to the floor in floods of tears, walking towards you he settles next to you pulling you in for a big hug, “Hey don’t worry baby girl, it’s not the end of the world we still have other letters coming, other options. No matter what I’m soo proud of you my darling girl” he cooed. You shook your head no, trying to steady your breath “No d…..ad” you stuttered “We did it, I got in, I did it dad! I got in” you continued through staggered breaths, he reached over and pulled it from your grasp reading the words carefully, his hand clamped over his mouth in shock. He started crying too, pulling you in tighter, letting his tears fall freely.
Being the amazing father he was, hours later he was on the phone with his oldest and closest friend Negan, explaining you’d got in, you’d done it, and if Negan could look for a house up there for you both, Negan lived in a small town in Connecticut not too far from Yale. He’d instantly agreed, finding you a lovely 3 bedroom home only a street away from himself. Your dad had been there behind you every step of your life, and he wasn’t about to let this one be any different.
So you packed up your life, making the lengthy trip from Virgina to Connecticut.
The experience has been amazing, you’ve loved every second of college. You came home every night excitedly animating your days to your dad, and many days to Negan too. He would be over often for dinners, you guys also going over his frequently too, the three of you spent many evenings together BBQs, football games, board game nights, you name it. You’d spent a lot of the last 4 years with Negan, he was a great friend to your dad. They’d kept in contact when he had moved from Virgina with his wife, because she wanted to be able to commute to New York easily. She took to the big corporate job like a fish to water, but she began coming home to Negan less and less, giving excuses about early starts and having to stay in some fancy hotel. Unfortunately one day when he made a trip to the city to surprise her, he’d found her rolling around the bed with her boss.
He called later that day to tell your dad what happened, your dad being the great person he is dropped everything and came up here to be with him, leaving you with your grandma for a few weeks.
After a lengthy divorce he’d stuck it out in the sleepy town, deciding he didn’t want to upheave his life once again. You hadn’t known Negan too well then, your dad called him often and you knew his voice, that deep rumbling voice, from their calls. You’d even answered the phone to him a few times, making polite small talk until your dad could take over. But he’d moved to Connecticut when you were only 2 years old, so you’d never really gotten to know him.
That all changed when you moved to start Yale, and you’d be lying if you hadn’t developed an enormous crush on the older man. Gods was he beautiful, he was funny sometimes making you actually cry from laughter. He was kind, loyal, owned his own mechanics garage, he was an all round great guy, and you had no idea why no one had snapped him up yet. Though secretly you were thankful no one had, because the mere thought stirred an ugly pit of jealousy in your stomach.
But tonight things were perfect, you were having a farewell dinner with the two men in your life, sat around the coffee table on your living room floor, eating pizza, heads thrown back in laughter as you whoop your dads ass at monopoly.
“Oh come on y/n not another hotel” your dad pleads playfully.
“I’m afraid so dad, told you the light blue were worth buying, the houses are cheap to buy, I can get as many as I want” you goad in giggles.
“She has you there man! I’d add another to Euston Road if I were you sweetheart! Finish him off” Negan jests.
“Don’t encourage her!” Your dad grumbles, causing you and Negan to roll in laughter even more.
“You know what I think I will” you reply adding another hotel.
Your dad takes his next roll landing on one of your hotel properties,
“Oh shit man! That’s you done isn’t it” Negan teases. Your dad stands then playfully tips the board over, making you gasp in mock shock before falling into giggles once again, in the moment you end up leaning your head against Negan’s shoulder.
“Right that’s it I’m done with this silly game, who wants another beer” your dad laughs.
“Me” you say, Negan nodding in unison his breath slightly shaken from your head still leaning against his shoulder, like it belongs there which in his mind it does. Man he’s dreading you leaving for a year, every time he thinks about it, there’s a constricting feeling in his heart. He brings his arm around you pulling you closer for a second, taking a moment to bask in your warmth. He gives you a quick squeeze, before moving to start packing away the game.
You watch him with a warm smile on your face, my goodness were you going to miss him. But you needed this, you needed to stand on your own two feet and experience some living. You also needed to get over this silly crush, he was 20 years older than you for Christ sake, he probably looked at you like a niece. He definitely wouldn’t return your affections, so you should go and clear your head. See some of the world, meet people and have experiences.
They always say you discover yourself while travelling alone.
You wanted to see if that was true.
But leaving these two behind would be hard, even if it wasn’t forever a year was still a long time. “So sweetheart your really leaving us tomorrow?” Negan asks, “Yup! Just like Bilbo Baggins I’m off on an adventure” you giggle, trying to make light it it, when in fact your heart is sinking at the thought. “Not gonna be the same without you here darlin’” he affirms, there’s a smile on his face but it doesn’t quite meet his eyes, and those beautiful dimples aren’t showing. For a second you wonder if he returns your feelings, but that wouldn’t make any sense so you push the idea out of your mind.
Your dad arrives back 3 beers in his hands, “I can’t believe my baby girl is going out into the world tomorrow, you promise to write to me every week yeah??” Your dad asks. “You know I can just text you? And call you right?” You answer, “Yeah you can call too, but I want hand written letters to have a part of you still coming home every week” he replies voice sounding emotional, this was a big step for him you had never been away from your dad before. Getting up you give him a big hug, “Ok dad I’ll write to you every week and I’ll send you postcards, so you can see where I’ve been!” You promise. “Yeah that sounds great baby girl” he affirms.
After your dad passes out snoring on the couch, you clean up the pizza boxes with Negan. While you’ve moved on to clearing up the kitchen he stands in the doorway watching you, “You know sweet cheeks, I’d love for some of those hand written letters too” he expresses. Looking up at him in shock, you ask “Really?”, “Yeah I want to hear everything your doing, plus it would be nice to have a part of you here with me too, like I said sweetheart it won’t be the same here without ya” he replies stepping closer, gently brushing a hair out of your face, hazel eyes bearing into you. “Ok Negan I’ll write to you too”, “Good” he sighs, leaning in he kisses your head wrapping his arms around you in a tight hug. “Gonna miss ya kid”, “Yeah I’ll miss you too” you reply.
Letting him out the door you say your goodbyes, before tucking a blanket over your dad.
This was going to be hard……
_______________________________________
You’ve been travelling a week now, slowly making your way down south to Florida. You made sure to stop for a few nights at your grandmas, you loved spending time with her, just like your dad she was a sweet soul, and you’d really enjoyed some long chats and a homemade meal.
The last morning of your stay you popped by taking a look at the house you grew up in, you always wondered if your mother had ever stopped by to see you. Missing you because you’d moved away, would she be proud that you’d made it to Yale, probably not. She’s never cared enough to call, she upped and left the day after you were born. Just left you in the hospital, for your dad to find when he came back in after some rest at home. Leaving your dad to step into both parents roles, which he took on without complaint bringing you up in a home full of love and laughter, you were beyond blessed to have been given him as your dad.
With that you tucked those thoughts away, your dad and grandma love you, are proud of you and support you. You didn’t need anyone else, well except maybe Negan.
By the end of your first week you’d made it to the Croatan National Forest, in North Carolina. You decided to stop here and see the sights, maybe do some hiking, some swimming on the coast. You found a cute little beach rental you booked for a few nights, it looked out to the river which joined the ocean. It was peaceful here, kids had all gone back to school and the soft autumn breeze was setting a chill in the air. So the beach was practically empty, with the exception of a few dog walkers.
Dark skies started settling in, greys and blacks filling the vast space, the clouds looked as if they were rolling towards you. A storm was coming which emitted some excitement in you, to sit there and watch them was one of your most favourite things to do, especially if the lightning was close and you could see it crack across the sky.
Settling in the bay of the bedroom window, you looked out at the water, pulling out your notebook you got to writing your dad his first letter. Folding it up you sealed in in an envelope, adding your home address and a stamp. Then you began to write Negan’s,
Dear Negan,
I’ve made it to North Carolina, to the Croatan National Forest. I’m staying in a really cute little beach house, which was cheap due to the holidays being over. I’m currently sat watching a storm roll in, windows open enjoying the breeze.
I stopped to see Grandma on the way down, she sends her love to Dad and you. She still hasn’t changed bless her, I also stopped by my old neighbourhood to see the house. I didn't feel as sad seeing it as I thought I would. I think that’s because you’ve made our lives so much more incredible. I miss you both it’s odd being without Dad for the first time, but it’s also strange being without you too now. You’ve ingrained yourself into my life now and I wouldn’t change it for the world.
I think I’ll take a swim tomorrow if the weather allows it, I may even swim in the rain if I can. So there you go, you can picture me dancing under the storm.
Yours truly
Y/N
Xx
You sealed the letter, writing his address and placing another stamp. Maybe you poured a bit of how you feel about him in there but it felt good to let some of it out, like it was healing a small part of you.
You ran down to the post box before the rain hit, dropping the letters in and running back to your temporary home. Closing the door just as the torrential downpour started. “Phew that was close” you giggle. That evening you sat in your window watching the storm, the bright lightning cracked above illuminating the beach. Rain pouring and winds blowing, while you stayed cozy eating your soup admiring natures fierce show.
When morning came around it was still raining, though the storm had passed. You threw on your bathing suit and braved the weather, running into the water with a loud gasp as the cool liquid surrounded you. You laid back watching the rain fall from the sky, in that moment you’d never felt so free.
_______________________________________
Back home Negan received his letter a few days later, he’d been checking his post box every single day, like a man deranged. ‘Finally’ he thought tearing open the envelope before he even made in back inside. Sitting down at his dining room table he read your words, smile adorning his features, dimples pulling deep. ‘Ingrained himself into your life, and you wouldn’t change it for the world’ for the first time he allowed himself to hope, that just maybe you returned his feelings.
Was this your way of telling him so? He didn’t know but he needed to find out, he’d have to play this safe though, edge it out of you slowly, god only knows what would happen if he assumed wrong, you’d tell your Dad no doubt, he’d loose you and his best friend in one go, he couldn’t risk that.
Pulling out his phone he sent you a message,
‘Hey sweetheart,
Thank you for my little letter, I hope you had fun swimming and dancing in the storm, though I also hope you stayed safe.
You’ve also ingrained yourself into my life angel face, came into it like a spitfire but I wouldn’t have it any other way either. Enjoy your next week, just make sure you stay safe.
Negan
Xxx
He sent the text, and waited under baited breath for a response. He almost jumped out of his chair when his phone pinged.
Hi Negan
Your welcome, I can assure you I am staying safe, I’m checking my oil and water levels too, as promised. Car is running smooth still :)
‘Spitfire’? I wouldn’t say that! But I’m glad you wouldn’t have it any other way because your stuck with me now.
I’ll send you your next letter same time this week, till then ……
Y/N
Xxx
He smiles to himself once more, you most certainly are a spitfire. But you’re also the best thing to ever come into his life, he hopes one day he’ll be able to tell you so.
_______________________________________
End of your second week, it’s rushed by so fast and you can’t believe your already in Jacksonville Florida. Today your sat on the beach it’s much warmer here, no sign of any autumn breeze and the sunny weather bringing many people to the beach. Your currently writing to your dad again while listening to the soft waves crashing onto the shore. Finishing his letter you once again start writing one to Negan,
Dear Negan,
What a week I’ve had! Can you believe I’m already in Florida? Today I’m sat on Jacksonville beach watching the waves crashing. It’s much busier here and much warmer, apparently there’s a swell coming in tomorrow so I may try surfing. I’ll be sure to send you both some hilarious pictures, of me falling on my face.
I’m staying two nights here in a hotel overlooking the beach, the buildings here on the coast are like mini skyscrapers. I think they may be too tall, it ruins the feel of the place. My next move may be Orlando Disney, I’ve always wanted to go! May even get made into a Disney princess! Because hey you only live once, which one should I go for?
I’m starting to really miss you both, how’s my dad coping? I hope my boys are looking after each other,
Well I’m going to go find somewhere for dinner, speak soon.
Y/N
Xxx
Getting up you brush the gritty sand off your legs, setting out on a mission to find somewhere to post these letters. After exploring a few busy streets, you see it, Bingo! You spot the blue metal of the US postal boxes, slotting in your letters before finding a diner to eat dinner in.
Back home 48 hours later Negan received your second letter, “my boys” he reads, the thought of being yours makes his cheeks flush, and his heart quicken. He feels like a teenage boy again at 52 years old, he’d be yours in a heartbeat if you’d ask him. But he knows it’s out of the question, your his best friends kid, and what would you want with an old man? Your so beautiful and he doesn’t feel he’s got much to offer you at this point of his life. Even so he will allow himself to enjoy these letters, living in a little daydream for a while.
After pacing his kitchen for a good ten minutes he decides he has to talk to you, the words “my boys” still swirling around his head. Giving in and pulling out his phone he sends you a text,
Hey sweetheart
I remember Jacksonville well, I visited about 15 years ago now. I went to a work conference there. Your right the buildings are too tall beside the ocean, definitely not one of my favourite beaches.
Surfing? How did that turn out I’m still waiting on this photo.
“Your boys hey” I like the sound of that darlin. But yeah I’m making sure your dad cooks for himself, and I fixed his lawn mower for him, so your gardens looking a lot better now!
Make sure you continue to stay safe sweetheart, I hope you enjoy Disney, but you don’t need to dress up to be a princess you’ve always been one.
Negan
Xx
Ping
His heart is beating rapidly in his chest as he opens your reply,
Hey Negan
Actually I did ok surfing, I managed to stand up and everything lol
Xx
Ping
He opens the slightly blurry image of you standing up on a large longboard, big smile on your face. You look so beautiful and so happy.
Ping
So as you can see, not a complete disaster! I went to Disney world yesterday, it was great fun but all in all too many people about. I’ve set off west now aiming in a general direction of New Orleans, as I’ve always wanted to go. I think it may take a week or two to get there though!
And don’t worry I will be careful I promise. You’ll always be my boys
Y/n
Xxx
He smiles to himself you were going to be the death of him, he was sure of it.
Ok sweetheart
Look at you! You’re a natural! Well I’ll wait with bated breath until your next letter, I think you should send two a week I Think one a week is just too long to wait for sweet cheeks.
Negan
Xx
Ping
Ok Negan
Two it is, I’m off to bed now
Night
Y/N
Xx
He grins, two letters a week, he feels all important now. He wonders if your dad will also get two letters a week? Or if he really is special enough to be the only one.
_______________________________________
A few weeks pass in a blur, you keep your promise to Negan and write to him twice a week. Not only that you both text constantly and have started video calling frequently too. Your currently walking through the vibrant streets of New Orleans with your phone in hand, on video call to Negan as you show him the current festivities happening. “Look at the colours Negan! I’ve never seen anywhere so bright and colourful, and the musics been incredible.” You ramble off excitedly, “Yeah I can see that sweetheart, I wish I was with you right now it looks incredible” he replies.
“I wish you were with me too, it’s amazing! I’ll have to bring dad here at some point.” You gush,
“Yeah maybe we should all plan a trip” he replies and you nod along, “Yeah that sounds good!”
“So where are you off too next?” Negan asks, “Well I’ve booked to stay two weeks on this women only ranch just outside Austen Texas, so I’m going to enjoy a slower pace for a couple of weeks, I’ll get to go riding everyday and read books in the sun” you answered, “That sounds like a good plan sweetheart, you haven’t slowed down in weeks.” Negan hums, truth be told you were looking forward to slowing down for a bit, it’s been a full on couple of months, and as much as you’ve enjoyed it you’ve burnt yourself out a little.
Back at your hotel room you and Negan chat over video call for hours, you admire him as he throws his head back in laughter, while laying back on his couch. You're sat cross legged on your bed, window open so you can see and hear the ongoing festivities outside, the cheerful jazz music floating around your room.
“I can’t believe I’ve been away two months now, it’s gone so fast”, it hasn’t felt fast to Negan, it’s felt like every hour has dragged on without you home. Nights with your dad are much quieter, and your presence is constantly missed. “Yeah sweetheart” he agrees half heartedly, and you sense the change in his tone. “Everything ok?” You ask, voice laced with concern. “Of course darlin we just miss you is all” Negan admits.
“I miss you too you know, life on my own has definitely been quiet. It’s why I enjoy these video calls so much, it almost feels like your here, like it’s a normal Friday night Just without the beers and pizza” you laugh.
His heart warms at your confession, slowly over these weeks he’s noticed little things. The way you look at him, or the way your face lights up when you answer his calls, your letters have become sweeter too. He allows himself to truly hope, that maybe you return his feelings. He’s in half a mind to jump in the car and meet you on your travels, take you into his arms and lay it all out, tell you how he feels and hope you say you feel them too. But his mind always falls back to your Dad, his best friend of nearly 30 years. How would he take it, would he ever talk to him again? Would he forbid him ever seeing you again? It’s these thoughts that stop him ever taking anything further than flirty remarks, and terms of endearment, but god does he wish he could just take you in his arms, feel your skin against his own as he spends all night worshiping your body like the goddess you are.
“Negan…..Negan are you with me” your voice cuts through his daydreaming, “Yeah sorry sweetheart, must be getting tired it’s past this old man’s bedtime” he teases. You huff out a small giggle “You’re not old Negan” you reply. “I’m 52 darlin, I’m nearly at the end of middle aged” Negan groans, you shake your head in disagree “Nope I don’t agree”, “Well I’ll take that” Negan laughs, “We should get some sleep though, it’s like 1am! Night Negan”
“Night Beautiful”
As the call ends you sit there shocked, that’s new, he just called you beautiful! He’s never used that pet name before, usually it’s darlin or sweetheart. Butterflies erupt in your stomach and you can’t help the smile that tugs at your lips. You fall asleep that night with the smile never leaving, listening to the distant hum of jazz.
_______________________________________
The ranch is beautiful, picturesque like a postcard. You feel like you’ve stepped into some country and western film, you’re currently sat under a large tree watching the horses gallop about the pens. There’s a few other women staying at the ranch with you, and you’ve enjoyed getting to know them. One is a lot older than the rest of you, her name’s Frances, she’s been cooking for you all and mothering everyone.
It’s been nice, you weren’t used to a motherly woman being in your life. You’ve told her so too, told her about your life and that your dad raised you alone. She’s been a great listener, she brought up her two sons and how she couldn’t understand a mother ever leaving her children, she could never. When she asked if there was anyone special in your life, you’d bitten your lip and done your best to redirect the conversation. After much convincing you’d told her there was a man who held your affections, but he was much older than you. So it wasn’t an easy situation, but she’d told you there’s no age restrictions on love, so long as both parties involved were adults and felt the same.
It lead you to hope, that maybe you and Negan could maybe one day be something. You were starting to also hope that maybe he felt the same way you did, he had called you beautiful after all.
Taking out a pen and paper you began writing your letter’s.
Dear Negan
This ranch is beautiful, even in the sweltering heat it’s like something out of an old movie, there’s other women here too so it’s been nice to get to know them and make some friends.
I’m currently watching this black horse run through the field, he’s almost ethereal the way he moves. He looks so free, no worries in the world, and I fell like I’m witnessing his wildest joys and deepest secrets.
There’s a lovely lady here called Frances, she’s been like the mother hen to everyone. I’ve had many chats with her, especially about mum. She couldn’t understand how she just left me, said she never could leave her children. I do wonder if she ever thinks about me at all? Maybe she does, or maybe she just moved on with her life and never looked back.
I talked about you too, how important you are in my life too. I’ve been thinking a lot recently. Anyways I’ll send another letter soon.
With Love
Y/N
Xxx
After sealing the letter you wondered if you should send it, had you made things too obvious? Maybe you needed too to see if there was something there? With a deep breath you dropped it in the postal box, placing it to the back of your mind for now, before joining the rest of the girls for the activities for the day.
_______________________________________
Just two days later Negan received your letter, reading the words he felt incredibly sad. You were hurting he could tell, he doesn’t understand how your mother left you either, she’d never know how incredible the girl she brought into the world turned out to be.
Because you were, you’re incredible. So kind, loyal, brave with a determination he’s never witnessed before, and you were so beautiful beyond compare. So yeah she was the one who had missed out, missed watching that baby girl become the most amazing woman. Something himself and your Dad had never taken for granted, even only really getting to know you these last four years, he’s seen you change and thrive becoming the amazing person you are today.
He’s glad you’re making friends along the way though, he was worried you were starting to get a bit lonely being alone for so long. Still the thought of coming to the ranch himself and holding you in his arms was so compelling right now, you were sad and he felt such a great need to make you smile, or hold you as you cried. You deserve the world, he hopes he can show you that someday.
His heart lurches at the thought of you talking about him, and thinking about him? Thinking how? Is that a confession? Or just you missing home? He would call you later, see what he can coax out of you.
You were sat on the porch watching the sunset, the sunsets down south were the most beautiful you’d ever seen, the oranges and yellows shine over the whole landscape, painting the buildings and your skin in a warm orange glow. As you were admiring the skies your phone started buzzing, removing it from your jeans pocket you smile seeing Negan's name flash up.
“Hey Negan, how are you? Sorry it’s been a little while since we’ve called, I’ve noticed only certain areas get signal” you explain as you answer the video call.
Smiling at you “That’s ok sweetheart, I understand, you’re out in the sticks no one gets phone signal there. How are you doing darlin? I got your letter today and I thought I’d call you”
“Yeah I’m ok, I felt sad for a little while thinking about mum, but I’ve realised how lucky I am to have the people I do in my life. I have people who love me and some people don’t have that.” You admit.
“It’s ok to feel sad though sweetheart, what she did to you wasn’t right and it’s ok to be hurt by that, but yeah you are loved, sometimes I don’t think you know how much your loved sweet girl, your dad, your grandma, myself, we adore you, you’re not alone not ever and I hope you know that.” Negan assures.
Tears well up in your eyes, you swallow a large gulp before answering him “Thanks Negan I needed to hear that” you admit.
“Anytime baby girl”
A small creak behind alerts you of someone’s presence, “Sorry love I just came to tell you dinners ready, if you’d like to join us” Frances explains.
“Oh yeah please, I’ll just be a moment” you answer, she nods walking back into the barn.
“Well it looks like I have dinner to attend” you laugh, “Ok beautiful, enjoy your dinner I’ll speak to you soon” “Yeah speak soon” you smile, hanging up the phone you stand up and dust yourself off before heading inside.
Frances meets you at the doors with a knowing smile, “Was that him?” She asks, blushing you look downwards, “Yeah that’s him” you admit. She nods before saying “Marry that man girl, if he looks at you like that, and speaks to you like that, you’d be a fool not too”. You gasp “How much did you hear?” She gives a gentle laugh, “Enough. Now come on in and eat” she guides you inside, but your whole stomachs fluttering now, and you don’t know how much you will actually be able to eat.
_______________________________________
It was the morning you were leaving the ranch, you felt sad to be going. It had been such a positive experience being here with these women, you’d made some friends and you have exchanged numbers with Frances, who would love to stay in contact. Hugging everyone goodbye you waved your last farewell as you entered your car, today you’d be starting your trip to Los Angeles. Although you didn’t think you’d want to visit Hollywood, you had mapped out some lovely vineyards and beaches.
Starting the engine you made your way off the ranch and onto your next adventure. Driving down the highway you turned you music up, opening the windows letting the wind whip at your hair, singing along to your favourite song. Determined to enjoy every aspect of your road-trip, including the tedious highways.
You made it as far as the Texas/ New Mexico boarder before pulling into a motel for the night. Once you were settled in your room you pulled your phone out and called your dad, “Hey baby girl! Long time no speak, where have you been! Only one letter in two weeks and no phone calls! I’ve been worried!” Your dad stresses.
“I’m so sorry Dad the ranch had nearly no signal, Negan managed to call once while I was there, I think I found a fluke spot that evening, because I couldn’t get through to either of you again” you explain.
“That’s alright honey, I just worry, you know I do! How have you been? I didn’t know you spoke to Negan, do you call each other often?” He asks, and you can tell the confusion in his tone.
“Umm yeah we talk a couple of times a week I guess, same as you and I talk. I think he likes to know what I’m up too. I’m good yeah thanks dad been super busy though, but yeah I’m having a great time, how have you been doing?” You answer.
“Yeah no complaints here, I miss you though. House is too quiet without you kiddo, and it’s ok I just didn’t know the two of you were talking, he’s never said anything to me. Other then the fact you send him the occasional letter too” your dad explains.
“Yeah I write to you both, as per requested” you laugh before adding “I hope your looking after yourself though dad, and actually cooking? Not ordering take out every night. I do worry about you both when I’m not there, you don’t have the best eating habits” you giggle.
“Hey we are doing just fine! I did a BBQ the other day we even had salad!” You dad defends.
Laughing out loud now you reply “Oh some salad too! Well I don’t know why I was worrying then”
“Oi little miss, I do just fine! I managed to cook for you ok growing up!” He argues playfully.
“Yeah I know dad I know, I’m just teasing, well I’m glad you doing good, I’m going to head to bed it’s been a long day, lots of driving” you admit.
“Ok kiddo sleep tight”
“Will do night dad”
Ending the call you lay back on the bed and sigh, your dad seemed so confused about you talking to Negan, you hope you didn’t give your feelings about the man away? Nah he was probably just surprised. It will be fine, you think.
After getting ready for bed your phone starts buzzing again, you glance at it sat on the bedside table. ‘Video call from Negan’ grinning you answer the call “Hey!”, “Hey beautiful, how is your journey going?” You admire him for a second, dimples showing as he grins through the phone at you, why does he have to be so beautiful, “Yeah it’s going well I’m on the Texas/ New Mexico boarder, in a small town called Eunice I think. I’m in a small motel, I’ll be carrying on towards Los Angeles in the morning” you answer.
He’s walking about his kitchen, tidying up and nodding as you speak. You love the domestic feel to it, you wish you were there with him, just doing ordinary household chores. “That’s good! You’re making great time sweetheart. And at least now you have signal” he laughs, “Yeah there’s great service here, so what have you been up too?” You ask, “Not much darlin, just work. Some poor guy came in last week with a blown head gasket, it’s taking a lot of time to fix it. So I’ve been at the garage long hours this week. Other than that not a lot, Bill is trying to set me up on some date with his wife’s friend, but I’m not too sure” he admits.
Your stomach sinks at that, a date, no don’t go on a date you think, especially not when I’m thousands of miles across the country and can’t do anything to help stop it. Your heart is pounding in your chest, but you try to keep yourself together. “Yeah?” You ask, voice sounding way more strained than you hoped. “Yeah, you ok sweetheart?” He asks looking at you full of concern. “Yeah I need to umm go get some sleep it’s late and I’m exhausted” you blurt out in haste.
“Yeah ok darlin, goodnight”, “Night” you answer before quickly hanging up. Tears sting your eyes as you lay back on the bed, harshly rubbing the tears away you sit up, sod this I’m going for a drink, you determine. Pulling some jeans and a jacket on, you cross over the road to the local bar.
Entering the building the smell of stale beer and smoke hits you, wrinkling your nose in slight disgust you sit at the bar, “A beer please” you ask the bartender, who nods at you placing a bottle in front of you.
Across the country Negan can’t get your reaction out of his head. He was thinking maybe the date would be a good way to move on. Because you probably didn’t feel the same as him, he was delusional right? Thinking he saw signs that you wanted him. But you went from cheerful to distressed in seconds, now he doesn’t know, he could always ask you, he knows this. But he also knows he couldn’t deal with rejection, not from you. He sits down on his couch placing his head in his hands as he tries to make sense of it all.
You on the other hand have just stumbled back into your room after a few drinks, and you feel in your drunken state that your heads so much clearer. With the new found confidence the alcohol has given you, you pull out your phone and send Negan a text before passing out on your bed.
Don’t go on that date Negan, please don’t …I love you
The buzzing of his phone he’s pulled out of his thoughts, reading your message he’s sat in shock. You love him? Gods you love him! That’s it he needs to see you. Jumping up he rushes to pack a bag, throwing as much as he can fit in the duffle. Moving to grab his keys, phone, charger and passport. A flight to you will be the quickest way!
Leaving the house he sends you a message back,
Don’t go anywhere sweetheart, I’m on my way! Xx
#negan smith#Dbf Negan#negan x reader#twd negan#negan x you#the walking dead negan#negan fanfiction#negan x female reader#dads best friend#Dbf x reader
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So, I'm newish to fandom, right? Though I'm not new to being obsessed about particular shows, my last rounds of obsession came when the blogosphere was still a thing, and that's where my blathering about it in the tags energy went.
I get that "Positive feedback only on art and fic" is a way of extending support to artists and writers who make things for free! (I also have ascertained that we don't have the same norms for meta / nonfiction, which I find fascinating AF. Is it that meta's commitments are more explicitly intellectual, and that we therefore expect and accept a level of critique we wouldn't where fic and art are concerned?)
The caveat I've been seeing "Except where racism is concerned-- we call out racism ..."
We don't. Not universally, not consistently. And I'm going to bet calling out racism when that calling out actually happens is a comparatively new fandom norm, and there are some people who dismiss it as a form of moralism. My point here is:
Fandom norms aren't eternal, and (this is my blogosphere training talking)
Re: "ship and let ship," you like what you like, but what you like is culturally influenced. Subtracting the wrinkles from someone you're drawing comes from somewhere (and it's not always "I'm drawing an AU in which these guys met in high school"). Drawing someone as skinnier than they are comes from somewhere. (I'm thin. The number of times IRL someone has attempted to force-team me into bonding over snarking on someone for their fatness is substantial and not cute.)
The norm of "If you don't like it, use the back button" means if I nope out of your fic in chapter 7 because I just read a sentence in which Stede's eyes are blue, and that has been a pretty reliable proxy for racism, you will never know why I stopped engaging. You won't know that I stopped reading because your Ed can't read-- a detail that you think is canonical but that has been disproven multiple times in the show. You might think life intervened. No. I have three hours of commuting and a ridiculous amount of reading time. If I didn't finish a fic there is a reason why. Maybe you're happier not knowing it. Meanwhile I'm thinking: if we were actually friends, I would be working up the courage to talk to you about it, because Blogosphere Years Ago I promised that I would not let pointing out racism, fatphobia, ableism be the sole responsibility of POC, fat people, and people with disabilities.
I get that it's stressful to be called out. Hell, it's stressful to say "I have a problem with this" too! But I've also seen people do absolute master classes in responding to a gentle callout without defensiveness, and with changed behavior, and it made me better at in-person conflict to witness. One of my blogosphere lessons is: Preferring harmony over growth isn't neutral. It's culturally white, and it has costs (mostly to the people who don't share the cultural positioning of the majority).
So yeah: part of what makes me sad about the back button norm is that I think it reinforces a producer / consumer relationship between writers and readers. If I can't tell you when I've got a problem with something, and you can't tell me when you've got a problem with something, that's a hard limit on the extent to which we can know each other. (Also: because I write meta rather than fic, it is absolutely within tumblr norms for you to tell me my take is bad, even if it's not within fandom norms for me to say "I love this fic except for X.") And as someone who made enduring IRL friendships from my blogosphere days, I find that a bit saddening.
#i'm ace enough not to have a huge gap between my politics and what i find tasty in fic#and i absolutely get that's not the case for everyone#but i have not experienced lasting damage from being asked to interrogate my preferences#the way friends of color have been harmed by other people's uninterrogated preferences coming out to play on dating sites#fandom#god i miss the blogosphere sometimes
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I originally made this zine back in October. There was no particular impetus for it except I think I’ve just been low key constantly thinking about ghost bikes since I learned about them some years ago.
I rewrote some parts of this a few times and I’m still not happy with it, but it feels kind of pointless to keep fiddling with it. There’s too much I want to say and 8 pages isn’t enough.
Saying that drivers “choose” vehicular manslaughter sounds aggressive. I know (most) drivers don’t intend to do harm, but it doesn’t actually matter what their intentions are if someone gets hurt or is killed. Maybe drivers aren’t “choosing” to kill, but they are choosing to get gigantic vehicles and to go fast enough to kill.
Most recent cyclist deaths in the Seattle area have been on common biking routes, though none of them have bike lanes (Seward Park Ave, Spokane St, Marine View Dr). I’ve biked on all of these, some of them very frequently. It sucks passing by each time and knowing someone died there, and that it could’ve been avoided.
Basically everyone I know who bikes has been hit by a car at some point. A friend was hit while in a crosswalk a few months ago. (In a similar incident, a 13-year old kid was killed in a crosswalk last year.) Thankfully, no one I know has died yet. It does sort of feel inevitable though.
Recently, a car ran a red light and hit a bus. The bus was forced onto the sidewalk, where it killed a pedestrian. I walked by on my way home with groceries 5 minutes after this happened. Couldda been me. Everyone is a pedestrian at some point, but so many people avoid living life as a pedestrian. They drive everywhere and are only ever on foot within a building. My high school was one (1) mile from my house, but I had to drive to get there because of the 6-lane highway between us.
The problem is complicated. I mostly blame infrastructure, but that’s not easy to fix. We designed and built whole cities around cars and left no space for people, and that can’t be corrected without a lot of money and political will. We need roads that are “inconvenient” for cars and drivers. Ones that are narrower and have speed bumps and “traffic calming” devices slow drivers down by design, without relying on speed limit compliance or enforcement.
Seattle is cramped as hell and there aren’t sidewalks in a lot of places. But in order to build sidewalks and bike lanes, we need to take away space from cars, and hell gets raised every time anyone even suggests taking away parking, much less an entire travel lane. Lots of people depend on cars, but that’s never going to change without cities investing in the alternatives.
Buses and transit can become reliable. Bikes offer a lot of the same freedom and personal autonomy as cars. “No one wants to bike in the rain/cold/hills/etc” and yet Seattle has such a robust cycling community, both in commuters and recreational cyclists. “You can’t haul groceries/supplies/kids/dogs/etc by bike,” and yet so many people do.
And if people don’t feel safe on bikes, it’s just because of all the cars.
RIP Steve Hulsman, who was killed at the intersection of Marine View Dr and 46th Ave, the intersection in the photos, on December 21st.
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My Dungeon Meshi Modern AU Thoughts Instead of Writing My Economics Research Paper lmao
Ughhhh,,,, okay have been thinking about them all day and if one person manages to make it through the void and hear me out and talk about them with me then I’ll be happy lol.
WARNING: this is stupidly long, like I spent an absurd time writing every single little detail down. With that being said here we go:
cw//mentions and minor graphic descriptions of death, bullying, discrimination, injury, abuse, trauma, mental health issues, and abandonment
• Laios
- currently 26 and living with his sister Falin
- studying zoology part-time at the local college
- mostly does night classes since he works 1-2 jobs during the day to help pay for his and Falin’s tuition and apartment
- he and Fallin took their dog Muimui when they moved out, they also feed the local stray cats
- lived on a farm with his sister and parents when he was a kid, and is where his love of animals comes from
- however did not have the best of childhoods, as he was a frequent target for bullying due to having undiagnosed autism, and his father was very much a “nothing is wrong with you, toughen up the world isn’t going to coddle you” kind of person
- this was further cemented when he cried going hunting with his dad for the first time and refused to eat any of the deer or rabbit they had caught
- his mom had her own mental health problems that she was never diagnosed for, so often she fell into the same mindset as her husband when it came to Laios’ and Fallin’s behaviour, only she was more erratic due to her fear of one or both of her kids becoming like her
- never forgave his father after he sent Fallin off to a private middle/high school far away from their home, little did he know it was because the severe bullying Fallin was receiving was too much for her, and he wanted to send her away before she got hurt or worse
- nearly tried to run away at 16, however was caught by the police almost immediately and returned home
- completed his high school diploma and took off with Muimui without even saying goodbye to his parents, Fallin nearly joined him in the city but since she was still under guardianship of her parents, she couldn’t leave until she became an adult
- once graduated, she reunited with Laios in his apartment where they now live
- works nearly full-time at Senshi’s restaurant and works part-time as a janitor at their local zoo (he wants to be close to the animals lol)
- very busy but he makes it work, Marcille and Kabru have no idea how he does it without any meds or caffeine
- either has a worn out picture of him and Falin with their old dogs, or has a hand-made drawing of his theoretical strongest monster in his pocket that he looks at whenever he needs inspiration
- both him and Falin live wayyy out of the city center since rent is fucking abysmal downtown
- insists on taking the bus or walking everywhere since taxis and buying a bike costs too much, even if the commute is like 2 hours with 3 transfers
- despite this, he still has a drivers license
- the kind of guy you would expect to be eating leafy green tofu bowls from your local hipster vegan bistro, but is actually the kind of guy who eats the dubious $4 ground beef chubs and off-brand deli ham from walmart
- socks and slides with free college club t-shirts and cargo pants from the gap that come with like 50 pockets so he can carry all his stuff (the stuff mostly being dog treats and loose bird feed) bro has no drip aside from one outfit put together by Marcille
- uses the same highlighter blue and yellow adidas backpack he’s had since middle school, carries literally everything in there
- doesn’t listen to music, but if he does it’s rain/nature sounds with the $2 headphones you get from the dollarstore
- not much of a gym freak and usually just goes casually, prefers sports to working out (will have a protein shake but does not invest in creatine or other pre-workout supplements)
- either uses the same recyclable water bottle with the label torn off from a pack of 50 he got 3 years ago, or just uses one of his protein shake bottles I can’t decide
- hangs out with Marcille and Falin the most often (since Marcille constantly makes excuses to study with Falin at their apartment), sometimes gets smoothies or juice with Kabru if they run into each other
- hangs out with Senshi and Chilchuck less often, their time spent together is usually limited to having a beer after closing the restaurant or meeting together with everyone else to have dinner every couple months
- goal is to become a wildlife biologist when he graduates
- more to add if I think of it
• Fallin
- currently 23 and lives with Laios
- in her second year of studying veterinary medicine at their city’s main university
- grew up with Laios and her parents on their farm, also developed a deep love and appreciation for animals early on, but while Laios was more interested in the study of their behaviour, she was more interested in healing them
- also has undiagnosed autism like her brother, only when it came to her behaviours, she stood out a lot more and was subsequently bullied heavily for stimming, having major sensitivities to light and sound, self-isolating, talking to inanimate objects or “ghosts”, having a special interest in things like bugs or plants, and having a very specific schedule that adults had to help her with
- never really understood why adults or other children treated her differently, as she thought it was normal for everyone, however was still affected by having no friends aside from her brother during her younger years
- the bullying got so bad that kids began physically tormenting her, and since she never told Laios (who was in middle school and couldn’t always be with her), there was essentially no one to defend her
- very sadly culminates in an incident where she was intentionally locked in a graveyard overnight, and although she didn’t sustain any injuries she was fairly traumatized by the event, it was the final straw for her father to send her away to a private school at 12 years old to finish her education
- moved to a different city the next year where she stayed in dormitories, had her own room due to enrolling late
- also initially had a hard time making friends, and often cried since she couldn’t be with Laios, however no one bullied her for her autism and most often ignored her or gossiped
- had Marcille as a “buddy” to help her get acclimated to school life, however their relationship was quite awkward initially as Marcille thought she was unnerving and frankly a little stupid, however was completely shocked at Fallin’s nearly perfect grades
- school policy at that time stipulated that students had to return to the main hall for dinner at a certain time, however when Fallin doesn’t show up, Marcille has to look for her
- she finds Fallin at her secret hangout spot, similar to her dungeon in the anime, a corner with a group of trees and thick bushes that opened up into a grassy nook and a little pond, there they talk about what she does there and why she skips
- also similar to the anime, a fox (rather than a slime) catches them by surprise, but as Marcille tries to get it to run away by throwing rocks at it, Fallin stops her and explains it never comes closer than the tree line, she then points out that hurting while it’s already injured (has a slight limp) will cause it to die, allowing for the prey animals like squirrels and rabbits to eat away at most of the fauna surrounding the school, basically emphasizing the importance of all animals in an ecosystem and how it’s wrong to try and shift the ecosystem solely for our comfort or benefit (cheesy I know but it’s for the plot)
- she then offers Marcille the raspberries that grow on some of the bushes, and soon after Marcille asks if she would like to be friends
- they remain as friends in school only for another year, as Marcille graduates early and leaves Fallin behind much to her heartbreak, however does promise that she’ll visit and reunite with her soon
- by the time she graduates, she moves in with Laios and begins attending the same university as Marcille, there their friendship is reaffirmed, and they both start to develop feelings for one another
- full-time student but does work a few shifts at one of her university’s coffee shops whenever she can (tends to feel guilty about Laios helping her out with tuition on top of taking care of everything at home)
- in the honours program, and although she gets good grades her commitment is often questioned due to her habit of skipping
- reason for skipping is because she often does volunteer work at a nearby veterinary clinic
- unlike Laios, Fallin likes to bike to and from her classes
- it’s her main source of exercise, though she also does go to the gym if she has time, girl is absolutely built and is much stronger than she appears
- lives off of daily sweet treats and fried bologna sandwiches or tomato soup made by Laios
- frequently raids the raspberry bush growing outside hers and Laios’ apartment building, as well as the crabapple tree that technically belongs to the house next door but has its branches growing over the fence separating them
- also does not rely on excessive caffeine, but she does enjoy tea and coffee unlike Laios
- has a fjällräven backpack that Marcille gifted her for her birthday, mostly full of her textbooks but she does use it to carry rocks or sticks she finds interesting
- water bottle is a very dented bright pink hydro flask (also gifted to her by Marcille)
- has the jean shorts, tucked in t-shirt, and long cardigan look on lockdown, also wears hiking boots or converse, rarely is she seen in flipflops
- no make-up either, Marcille had to practically beg her to at least start using a clear lipgloss
- isn’t picky about music and usually just listens to whatever Marcille or Laios plays, sometimes she indulges in some lofi hiphop beats if she’s studying
- obviously best friends with Marcille but does not know she has a crush on Marcille, and thinks that her intense feelings of love and happiness are just normal girl friendship feelings (oh you poor thing)
- only vaguely knows of Senshi through the leftover food Laios sometimes brings home after his shifts, with Chilchuck she is more familiar since she sometimes visits him with Marcille on the weekends
- favourite thing is when her, Laios, Marcille, Izutsumi, Chilchuck, and Senshi all gather to get dinner together
- when it comes to her parents, she still maintains contact unlike Laios, though her messages tend to be generalized or cordial (not necessarily her intention it’s just she isn’t sure what to talk about in regards to her life beyond school)
- goal is to become a travelling wildlife vet
- more to add when I think of it
• Marcille
- is currently 26 and lives by herself (due to it being a modern au I’m imagining all races have the same lifespan of around 70-80 years)
- had probably the most normal upbringing and early adulthood out of all of the characters, both of her parents were very loving and attentive, always encouraging her and supporting her keen intellect through her hobbies
- however, they weren’t always around due to being very busy as government lawyers and often working late, she has very distinct memories of winning math and science awards as a child, looking out towards the crowd only to see her parents weren’t there
- was generally quite lonely during her childhood since she had no siblings or cousins to play with, a similar situation at school where most kids considered her stuck up or bossy when in reality she was just smart and was blunt about telling people when they were wrong about something
- is very close with Chilchuck, having known him and his family since she was little, although them all getting together was fairly rare, some of her fondest memories have been when they’d go on family trips together and she would get to play with Chilchuck’s daughters
- lost touch with him from ages 9-15 but reunited with him at 16 while he crashed at their place after his work injury and during his divorce, became very close with him during this time and developed a deep familial fondness for him despite all his teasing
- at 19 years old, she suffered a great deal of mental anguish as Chilchuck began to lose contact with her, Fallin was considering moving to a different city for university, and her father died due to a very sudden and unexpected stroke, she felt as though everyone in her life was slipping through her grasp and as a result, developed severe depression that would last until she completed her masters
- luckily, she had a good support system during that time and she was able to make it through the worst of it, however she still does struggle with motivation over simple tasks such as doing her hair or brushing her teeth
- her mood and outlook is much better though, having mostly returned to the same bubbly and dramatic personality that she once had
- is best friends with Fallin, and met her while at private school, mostly explained above, but her initial reaction of Fallin was quite negative before switching around after she realized that her way of thinking isn’t always the right one, even if the facts are right, her perspective and way of interpreting them isn’t always going to be sound
- this new perspective is what caused Marcille to become so enamoured with Fallin, eventually becoming a stupid crush that sticks with her to this day
- has her own studio apartment downtown, brand new building and everything (both parents are government lawyers so you can imagine the kind of money she has lmao)
- has a fawn floppy-eared bunny named Ambrosia
- despite her wealth, she doesn’t look down on her friends whatsoever, if anything she buys them expensive gifts as an act of kindness rather than an act of arrogance or condescension
- in the middle of attaining her phd in microbiology while doing independent research specializing in the study of telomere function
- attends the same university as Fallin
- graduated from high school at 16 and was done with her undergraduate by 19 and her masters by 21, a lot of people tend to think she’s full of herself but she often disregards them as people who don’t try hard enough
- born to carry her baby blue apple ecosystem in a cute tote bag, forced to haul her 7 biology textbooks in an ugly ass dark purple swissgear backpack she picked out when she was 12
- she has an unhealthy addiction to coffee and diet coke, literally cannot function without at least one per day
- cannot cook to save her life, lives exclusively off of pre-made grocery store meals or the sandwiches her university’s grab-n-go store sells, the kitchen aid mixer in her kitchen is practically a decoration at this point
- is actually the kind of person to be eating the leafy green tofu bowl from the local hipster vegan bistro
- has her own car and license, but lives close enough to her university to walk, Laios cannot fathom why she pays insurance every month for it but hardly uses or let anyone else use it
- I personally think she likes to rollerblade too
- jogging is her main form of exercise, but will also do yoga or calisthenics occasionally, probably the type of person to fall for a juice cleanse scam until Laios or Chilchuck scolds her for not eating enough
- I feel like she would be an intense swiftie (sorry :3) other than that, she likes the typical pop radio stuff that is played constantly
- at least she’s not a Stanley cup girl, she will use her scuffed gallon water bottle with the printed times of day until she dies
- very fashionable and loves to wear makeup, like wide leg pants or pleated skirts with penny loafers and cutesy blouses, a firm believer that any Korean makeup brand is far superior than anything Sephora could offer
- practically attached to the hip with Fallin, girl will find any excuse to study with her (the most pathetic sapphic ever someone put her out of her misery)
- otherwise, she’s buddy-buddy with Laios and Kabru but that’s about the extent of it, she’s known Chilchuck since she was little so he’s like an uncle to her
- she is quite friendly with Senshi and enjoys his cooking but hasn’t known him for a long time like the others, Izutsumi she treats like a little sister/niece and is always buying her things
- more to add when I think of it
• Chilchuck (you can tell he’s my fav because he has one of longest backstories lmao)
- currently 49 and living with Senshi and Izutsumi
- owns a two bedroom bungalow outside of downtown but still within the city, saved up for it after his divorce
- used to live in the suburbs with his ex-wife and daughters, but before that it was a shitty apartment close to where Laios lives now
- teen father, had Mayjack when he and his wife were 17 and had to graduate early so they could move out, they had Fullertom soon after and then Puckpatty by the time they were both 20, they got married at 22
- since neither could afford university at the time, Chilchuck went straight into a locksmithing trades program so he could have a decent income, his father had instilled a deep sense of responsibility and honour towards being a provider so he threw himself into his work which caused his and his wife’s initial frustration with one another
- when he was done apprenticing and when the kids were old enough to go to school, his wife went to university to begin studying teaching so she could become a professor, despite having to be home more often, Chilchuck still remained somewhat emotionally detached from his family
- by the time his daughters entered middle school, they had bought a house in the suburbs and his wife became qualified to teach
- feeling pressured by the mortgage, debt, and having to save for his daughter’s college, he began drinking more and taking a lot more hours at work, if he wasn’t working he was at the bar with his coworkers, he often didn’t come home until it was very late
- the final straw for his wife was when he showed up to work severely hungover and exhausted, then proceeded to nearly die in a home renovation project (passed out standing up and fell of a 20ft scaffolding, broke his hip and pelvis pretty badly as well as his humerus and quite a few of his ribs, also had a life-threatening brain bleed due to a skull fracture)
- at that point, all three of his daughters were already in university or trade school so his wife moved out and sold their house while Chilchuck was recovering in the hospital, she moved into a townhouse closer to the city’s main university where she still lives now with Fullertom
- having basically nothing in his savings, he crashed at Marcille’s parent’s place until he could save up a bit and get an apartment or townhouse (he and Marcille’s dad were friends in high school), essentially lived on their couch for about two years
- during this time, he became known as “Uncle Chil” by 16 year old Marcille and he developed a close uncle/niece relationship with her
- teased her as much as any uncle would, but also took her out shopping every couple of months, could never afford the stuff she wanted but he always got her lunch
- eventually, he saved up enough for the down payment of the two bedroom bungalow he lives in now and moved in, initially lost touch with Marcille but started being there for her more after her dad died, even began getting in touch with his daughters again at Marcille’s suggestion
- from then on, he took his work life more easily and tried to make time for himself in between shifts so that he didn’t feel he needs to drink himself stupid every time he came home, tried to pick up multiple hobbies and eventually settled on pottery making and brewing his own alcohol (that he sells…. mostly lol)
- meets Senshi at 42 when he is called in to install the locks and security system of the new restaurant Senshi is building, initially they had not been super friendly with each other, as Chilchuck found it infuriating how Senshi kept on wanting changes to be made to his security system, and how he was basically a walking construction accident waiting to happen
- once everything was finished however, Senshi offered Chilchuck a free dinner at his place as an apology for being stubborn, and unable to say no to free food (and alcohol) Chilchuck agrees
- they become friends after the dinner, however proceed to dance around each other for another 4 years until Marcille threatens to tell Senshi about Chilchuck’s feelings if he doesn’t confess himself
- Chilchuck does eventually confess (during a very charged “guy’s trip” to a resort in Mexico) and they start dating, after the trip, Senshi and Izutsumi move into Chilchuck’s place where they still currently live
- thanks to living with Senshi, Chilchuck adopts a more healthy lifestyle where he stops smoking, eats more, and drinks less, in return, he helps Senshi manage Izutsumi during her teen years as well as help out around his restaurant when he has time
- is generally living comfortably now, with a nice salary and more free time to commit to his hobbies, despite this he still deeply cares about his work and is a union man at heart who is always willing to rally behind his coworkers and organize when something happens
- mostly listens to 80s dad rock and some 90s grunge, is very proud of his CD collection
- dresses similar to Laios, however ditches the college club t-shirt and cargo shorts for polos shirts and chino shorts or dress shirts and casual slacks, also wears tacky boomer sandals for his feet or his construction boots
- drives a land rover defender that he bought in high school, cares for it deeply but isn’t a car guy by any means, he does the bare minimum maintenance to keep it safe and functional
- carries his minimal stuff in a sling bag and lunch cooler, but he also has a survival backpack in the back of his land rover for emergencies
- is a Stanley cup owner, has two, one from the 70s that his dad gave to him, and another white modern one from Marcille, his older one is covered in princess stickers from when his daughters were young
- pretentious black coffee drinker, makes fun of Izutsumi all the time for the amount of simple syrup and cream she puts into her iced coffee
- is okay at cooking, but is definitely more of a grill master, never ask him to deep fry anything though
- is also surprisingly handy thanks to the skills his dad passed onto him, speaking of his family, he isn’t very close to his mother and siblings since they all moved back to their home continent after Chilchuck graduated, he still sometimes travels alone on special holidays or on the anniversary of his father’s death but only if he can afford it
- is now a supervisor of his own crew, initially he wanted to own his own locksmith company, but he also wants to retire soon so he needs to save up as much as he can
- has two main friend groups, one he refers to as “the freaks” which includes Laios, Marcille, Fallin, Kabru, Izutsumi, and Senshi, and the other he refers to as “work” which includes Namari, Mickbell, Kuro, and Dandan
- is closest to Senshi and Marcille, seeing them as his family, however is a bit more distant with Izutsumi since he doesn’t want to automatically take on a “step-dad” role in her life, the reasoning mainly stems from his respect of her and her decisions on who she gets to let in her life, but is also because he wants to avoid things becoming awkward between them
- is, if not begrudgingly, friendly with Laios and Fallin, deep down he cares about them more than he lets on, is mostly cordial with Kabru
- is surprisingly close to Namari, however they keep their relationship strictly within their workplace and the bar they sometimes hit up afterwards
- is closer to his ex-wife and daughters now, having dinner once a month at his ex-wife’s house, they still haven’t really reconciled but they’ve allowed each other to move on
- more to add when I think of it
• Senshi (also super long please forgive me)
- is currently 52 and living with Chilchuck and his adopted daughter Izutsumi
- lives in Chilchuck’s house, but used to own a condo near the restaurant he used to work for
- when he was a child, he lived on an entirely separate continent in the remote far north, the village he grew up in was known for its mining industry, most of the community including his parents were miners, however an accident killed his father and cancer killed his mother when he was a baby, so his father’s friend Gillin took Senshi in when he was 2
- due to the mining culture surrounding the village, it was expected that Senshi also become a miner when he grew up, this coupled with the hyper-masculine ideas of honouring his late father and carrying on the bloodline, made Senshi not really put in much effort into school since he believed it had no use for him, a decision that would later hinder his career and degree options greatly
- once graduated from high school, Gillin immediately had Senshi take his safety courses and get his certification so he could get a job as soon as possible, with some references from Gillin himself, Senshi was able to land a beginner’s position within the company Gillin was in
- worked 7 years mining coal until the mine ran dry and he had to look for work elsewhere, jumped positions between 3-4 companies over another 8 years mining iron and copper until he landed a 2 year contract at a remote but booming silver mine
- was put into a 6 man team composed of himself, Gillin, Brigan, Invar, Totan, and Noor, where they would descend into a highly unregulated and dangerous mountain mine and extract the massive veins of silver, they all were paid well, but the conditions were next to abysmal
- 1 year and 9 months into the contract, a rockslide on the south side of the mountain caused a cheap tunnel support to collapse over the only exit leading out of the stope they were mining in, effectively trapping them indefinitely
- luckily they had a ventilation shaft, but none of them could fit inside and escape or yell for attention since they were trapped over 200ft deep and 500ft in the mountain, so their only option was to ration their food and wait for help to arrive
- they do try to escape in other ways, such as mining through the collapsed support, however this only leads to injury among the group, and as much as Senshi wanted to help, he was under strict instruction by Gillin not to over-exert himself, even though he wasn’t a kid anymore, he still had the most strength and wits among them all, this also results in him receiving the most food much to Brigan’s rage
- in an attempt to be useful, Senshi started drawing up the maps of the mine to see if there was a tunnel close by they could mine into
- as more time passes and they realized no one would be coming to help them, their escape attempts become much more desperate, one attempt to blow up the collapsed tunnel entrance with their remaining explosives leads to the death of Totan, another attempt to start mining over the collapsed tunnel entrance leads to the death of Noor, one last attempt to remove the panelling lining the ventilation shaft so they could be able to fit through leads to the death of Invar, leaving only Brigan, Gillin, and Senshi left
- after six weeks of being trapped under ground, Brigan mentally snaps and tries to cannibalize Senshi so they could eat his flesh, this leads to a physical altercation between Gillin and Brigan which ends in an unstable overhang of rock to collapse and crush Brigan and for Gillin to succumb to his wounds and exhaustion
- alone and starving, Senshi realizes he is now skinny enough to fit through the ventilation shafts and crawl his way out, he uses a combination of ropes and support spikes to help aid him, but soon quickly realizes he mostly has to navigate in the dark
- for two more weeks, Senshi follows the map he memorized and the feeling of airflow to make his way out, only surviving off of his remaining water, in the end he managed to crawl out of a shaft just outside the mining camp
- relived and also deeply saddened, Senshi remains near the shaft until some workers doing a perimeter check find him in the morning, he is promptly taken into the hospital to treat his injuries
- after explaining the situation to the police and his boss, his boss offers him a $30,000 payout to keep quiet and say nothing, the officers say it is possible to take his boss and the company to court, however it would likely put him into massive debt trying to find a good lawyer, in the end Senshi takes the money and leaves the camp for his village
- what’s left to him by Gillin is another $50,000 in savings and property assets, the rest is given to his remaining family, the first thing Senshi buys with the money is his adamantine pot and mythril knife, using both to make a soup Gillin would often feed him, and leaving five bowls of it outside of the collapsed silver mine before moving out of his village for good at aged 35
- he moves to the continent and city where all the other characters are currently living, buying his condo and deciding to enter into 4 year culinary school program
- during these 4 years, Senshi comes to realize that cooking is his true passion, finding it immensely rewarding and fulfilling, and even though he didn’t make many friends due to his unorthodox taste and recipes, it was still the most happy he’s ever been
- about 1 year after graduating and getting a job as the main line cook for a high end restaurant, Senshi meets and adopts 5 year old Izutsumi
- he initially sees her wandering around the green belt outside and behind the restaurant, kicking rocks and occasionally running and hiding in trees, he was always worried she was homeless, however would always see she was gone by the time he was done his shifts
- around five months of this, Izutsumi notices and begins to approach Senshi, as if she had wanted food, Senshi would usually offer some of his packed lunches or leftovers and she would always accept and sit next to him while they ate
- Izutsumi usually never spoke but was always ravenous, Senshi often worried that she was being abused, but whenever he would ask she would always say no, and since she was a healthy weight and never had any bruises or welts, Senshi reluctantly believed her, after that though he began packing more food
- eventually, a woman (Maizuru) approaches Senshi after one of his shifts and bluntly asked if he would like to take care of Izutsumi from then on, baffled he asked who she was and why she knew he was feeding Izutsumi, and she explained that she is her caretaker
- she also explained that since Izutsumi seemed to trust and respect Senshi the most, that he would be the best person to give her a chance at a normal life and raise her into an adjusted adult, due to the fact that she has no regard or interest or respect in her or the rest of her foster family, she then conceded that her question was rather sudden, but still implored Senshi to take her into his care or otherwise she would be forced into an orphanage
- thinking of Gillin, and with the wound of his crew’s death still in his mind Senshi, perhaps impulsively, agrees to take Izutsumi in, much to Maizuru’s delight and thankfulness
- the next day, she returns with Izutsumi and her things and tells Senshi that she will handle most of the legal paperwork aside from the few forms that he will have to sign
- from that point onward, he took care of Izutsumi and made sure she got through school, although she wasn’t completely responsive and obedient, he was still very patient and understanding with her, except for the first few times she would keep on running away from school to join him for his lunch breaks
- they have a very trusting relationship with one another, and Senshi is the only one Izutsumi will open up to, Senshi often encouraged her talent of athleticism by signing her up for various sports, he was and still is very attentive towards her needs and is always feeding her the things she likes (and dislikes)
- Senshi works at the restaurant for another 9 years, simultaneously saving up for his own restaurant and saving for Izutsumi’s college, at age 45 he meets Chilchuck during the construction of his restaurant and they form a close friendship
- subsequently, he is introduced to Marcille, Fallin, Laios, and even Kabru, but still mostly interacts with Chilchuck and Itsuzumi
- however he is quite close with Laios since he works as a server at his restaurant and is very enthusiastic about his cooking technique, flavour pallet, and types of dishes he serves
- at age 49, he officially opens his restaurant and starts dating Chilchuck, the three of them all move in together and become a household unit
- is now very happy with where he is at in life, works and manages his restaurant while still making time for Izutsumi and her hobbies, is very close with Chilchuck and becomes the first person he opens up to about his past and what he went through, generally the grossest and most sappiest old couple you will ever meet
- made a Senshi-sized hole deep into the fabric of Chilchuck’s home, converting his backyard into a full vegetable and flower garden that he maintains, is super proud about it and often leaves the prettiest flowers on Chilchuck’s side of the bed or in a vase on Izutsumi’s bedside table
- head-chef and owner of his restaurant, his favourite part is being able to cook what he wants for a very specific audience (people like Laios)
- his food is not super high-end but also not like a family diner either, a healthy mix of both, like kid friendly while still being classy and opulent enough to take someone out on a date there
- drives his beloved suzuki carry to and from work every day, does a good job maintaining it on his own despite it being boring according to him
- I honestly don’t really know what Senshi would listen to, I feel like the most in character for him would be folk music from his home country or bossa nova i can’t really decide
- coffee with lots of sugar but no cream or milk, prefers drinking black tea with milk and honey if he has a choice
- bag is a basic backpack with minimal items like wallet, keys, lipbalm, mints, etc… always has a change of clothes in case his gets dirty at work, also has extra hair and beard nets, some stuff for Izutsumi is in there too
- water bottle is also a vintage stanley cup, but his is wayyy more dented than Chilchuck’s and older (from like the 50s) refuses to buy anything else until it is unusable, has had the same piece of duct tape sealing a leak near the bottom for the past 20 years
- also can’t decide if he’s a t-shirt or Hawaiian shirt kind of guy, probably a healthy mix of both, also mostly wears shorts or a kilt-like garment native to his home country, lives exclusively in sandals you will never find him in close-toed shoes unless he’s working
- funny story deriving from this fact, the first impression Chilchuck ever had of Senshi (aside from “damn he’s kinda hot”) was “oh my god how the fuck is this guy not dead” due to the fact that Senshi showed up to the construction sight with flip flops, no safety helmet, and no safety vest on whatsoever
- more to add when I think of it
• Izutsumi (still a cat-girl in this universe)
- currently 17 and living with Senshi and Chilchuck
- used to live with the Nakamoto’s as a foster child, however hated living there due to the unfamiliarity and attempts at sweeping her past trauma under the rug and refusing to treat her for it
- life before the Nakamoto’s is fuzzy, it’s implied by her councillor and confirmed by Maizuru later on that she was raised by her mother until she died or abandoned her at 3 years old, was then placed into the care of another foster home who physically and verbally abused her, keeping her chained up in the basement most of the day and hardly feeding her, if not forgetting about her all together
- she was taken in by the Nakamoto’s at aged 4, and had a very hard time managing her due to her stunted social skills, anger issues, and delayed language development manifesting itself in avoidance behaviours such as running away and lashing out violently
- had frequent nightmares during this time, resulting in her becoming very clingy during the night
- would often run away to the green belt close to her house, the same green belt that was connected to Senshi’s restaurant
- initially only approached him because of the smell of food, her prior abuse and malnutrition resulted in an early form of binge eating, so she often sought any sight, smell, or taste food as a way of safety and comfort
- unlike all her previous caretakers, she found Senshi to not be malicious or uncaring towards her, especially after he started sharing and bringing food for her, her ease around him didn’t go unnoticed by Maizuru who then offered Senshi the deal to take care of her
- initially hated living in Senshi’s condo since the small space reminded her of the basement she was kept in, but soon found it to be much more comfortable if she could smell the food Senshi would make
- Received counselling for her trauma and slowly began to get better, however she would still frequently act out or skip school as a coping mechanism, however, Senshi helped her regulate her energy and emotions through signing her up for various sports, she did volleyball, hockey, wrestling, swimming, etc… until she settled on gymnastics and Muay Thai
- has somewhat of a complex towards love and attachment, in that she doesn’t fully believe an individual cares for her or loves her so will often do whatever she likes both because she doesn’t think it affects the other person that much and because it will prevent people from wanting to get close to her and have a meaningful relationship, a complex that stems from her past abuse
- is now in a much better headspace than she was in, as she has two caretakers who are patient and understanding with her, but are also willing to discipline her and prepare her for the outside world, she also has a good external support system and even a friend at school whom she often hangs out with
- she is currently in her junior year of high school, with decent grades, but only because Senshi and Chilchuck want her to do well so she has more options for university
- her best subjects are science, phsy ed., english, has a hard time with social studies and math
- her one friend her age is Tade as they both are frequently sent to the after-school homework program to help improve their grades, Izutsumi is usually good at shouldering off her homework to her in exchange for ice cream or food, but she’s usually caught and forced to do double the work
- Tade is also a foster kid of the Nakamoto’s, in fact she was the one Izutsumi would usually go to sleep with if she had a nightmare, so they never hang out at her house and either stay at Izutsumi’s house or hang out at the local park/mall
- is very talented athletically, and has won multiple awards at gymnastics and Muay Thai competitions
- still a ravenous eater, but with a crazy fast metabolism so she gains almost no weight, still picky with vegetables and mushrooms but will still eat them as long as their hidden in her food well enough
- coffee flavoured milk drinker, if there’s even a hint of bitterness in her coffee she’s throwing it out
- is into most old alternative or indie rock, appreciates Chilchuck’s taste in music immensely, she’s been learning how to play the bass recently
- has been learning basic recipes from Senshi and can manage a few dishes on her own, is much better at baking overall, never leave her alone with the blowtorch or barbecue though
- aside from sports, she enjoys playing video games and sleeping, she likes mostly storytelling or competitive console games like Skyrim, God of War, and Call of Duty
- bag is a simple black backpack that has all of her papers and textbooks haphazardly shoved in with no regard for neatness or organization, on a good day a pencil will be in there too
- water bottle is non-existent, she uses drinks from the school water fountain as an excuse to get out of class and wander around for a bit
- is old enough to drive and has her license, but doesn’t have her own car yet and still has to catch the bus, if she does drive it’s Senshi’s suzuki, Chilchuck let her drive his land rover once and she backed into a pole
- lives in crop tops and shorts, is actually quite fashionable but doesn’t have the energy or motivation to pull anything off, either wears converse, slides, crocs, or doc martens as footwear, most would describe her style as grunge-ish
- makeup is hit or miss, sometimes she can muster some concealer and eyeliner, but for the most part she just washes her face and nothing else, she is big into jewelry though and likes to wear lots of accessories
- has been allowed to pierce her ears quite extensively, as well as her nose, however both Senshi and Chilchuck have drawn the line at any other face piercings until she’s an adult, much to her dismay
- outside of Senshi, Chilchuck, and Tade, she is probably the most friendly with Marcille and Fallin as they frequently visit and interact with her, Marcille especially loves to spoil Izutsumi with treats and gifts since she never had a little cousin growing up
- Izutsumi likes Fallin for her quietness and ability to keep out of her business, however saw first hand how weird she can be when she held up a massive rhinoceros beetle without even flinching, also when she kept on excusing herself to their backyard to go snack on their strawberry plants
- Laios and Kabru she knows of, also finds Laios to be very weird but is less friendly about it than she is with Fallin, his lack of understanding of social cues also confuses her
- more to add when I think of it
AND THATS IT!!! This was stupidly long, I hope I didn’t bore you to death lol. I’ll probably do another one of these so I can include Chilchuck’s daughters, Kabru, Namari, etc… maybe with some additions to the main cast, but yeah that’s about the extend of it, hope you enjoyed :3
#dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#laios touden#falin touden#chilchuck tims#senshi of izganda#izutsumi#marcille donato#modern au#farcille#chilshi#labru if you squint#dungeon meshi minor characters#this took me forever I am so exhausted#I kinda wanna make a fic out of this but I have no idea what plot line or what character I should even focus on lmaooo#hooray for hyper-specific character interpretations!!
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Part 2: A Mission For Rogue
Pairing: Logan Howlett x F!Mutant!Reader - Slow burn, no use of y/n, you have regenerative healing ability, skilled with guns and rifles, reader in her 50s but because of her ability looked like in her mid 20s. Logan is from the first X-Men movie era.
Warnings: Explicit language, Violence.
WC: 4,6k
<- Part 1
Evening settled over Westchester Station, the sun dipping low as a cold night began to creep in. A faint haze hung above the tracks, softening the clamor of bustling commuters and casting a muted glow over the crowd. Logan and you moved through the crowds of people, his sharp gaze scanning for Marie, focused and vigilant. The team had agreed Logan would be the best to approach her because she trusted him. You stayed close by, Ororo and Scott guards the station pacing back and forth with coms device on their ear.
“She's on the train,” Charles’s voice echoed in both your minds, calm and certain. “I’ll check the first few cars,” you told him, meeting his gaze. “You take the back.” Logan gave a brief nod, his eyes steady as he turned to the nearest car just before it began to pull away.
The dim interior was quiet, only a handful of passengers scattered across the red leather seats. Logan’s gaze flicked across them until it landed on Marie, hunched over by a window, her green hoodie pulled tight, gloved hands clasped in her lap. She looked so small, shoulders pulled up as if to shield herself from the world.
Logan approached slowly “Hey, kid,” Logan called softly, his voice gentle yet firm. Marie’s head turned, her eyes widening as a flicker of relief crossed her face.
“You runnin’ again?” Logan asked as he took a seat next to her. Marie managed a faint nod, her gaze dropping.
“I heard… the Professor was mad at me,” she muttered, looking away.
"Well, who told you that?" Logan’s eyes flashed with a hint of anger at the thought, but his voice stayed soft. “A boy at school” Marie looked up sharply, her eyes guarded. "You think I should go back" She continue. "No I think you should follow your instincts." He says with slight of encouragement.
After you were sure Marie is not on the passenger carriages you've checked, you paced towards the back, hoping Logan already find her first, which he did. You caught a glimpse of him sitting next to Marie, deciding to keep a respectful distance, you stood a few chairs away, listening to their conversations.
Marie’s mouth trembled, and she let out a shaky breath. “The first boy I ever kissed…” Her voice cracked. “He ended up in a coma for three weeks. I can still feel him… in my head.”
Logan reached an arm around her shoulders, pulling her into a reassuring side hug and gently squeeze her left shoulder. You stayed back, observing the unexpected gentleness in him. This morning you had assume he's just another grumpy guy, with his guards as thick as ever. He probably couldn't care less about anyone else in his life, but there he is. Proving your assumption was all wrong, again. Something in your heart softened with the way he's comforting a teenage girl he had met yesterday. He looked up briefly as the train rumble and caught your gaze, you offered him a slight smile, both for acknowledging his care and letting him know you were here.
As Marie leaned into his side, her tears leaving faint trails on her cheeks, he whispered, “There aren’t many people who’ll understand what you’re goin’ through. But Xavier’s one of ‘em. He actually wants to help. That’s rare, especially for people like us.”
Marie looked up at him, searching his face. Logan met her gaze with a quiet confidence. “Give these geeks one more shot, yeah?” He paused, adding softly, “C'mon I’ll take care of you.” He reached giving her shoulder a reassuring squeeze one last time, and she nodded, wiping her eyes. “Promise?” she murmured. Logan nodded. “Yeah, I promise.”
After giving them a few minutes Logan's eyes find yours and gave you a small nod, a sign you can approach them now. You walk slowly before taking a seat across from them, catching her eye with a gentle smile. “Marie, you okay?” you asked quietly, wanting her to feel the team’s support. She gave you a small nod, visibly calmer now, though still vulnerable. “Good,” you said, reaching over to lightly pat her hand. “You’re safe with us. We’ve got you.”
Just then, the train gave a sudden, sharp lurch, rattling the carriage. Logan’s head whipped around, his eyes narrowing as he scanned the car for any signs of danger. You felt it too, a sudden unnatural tension in the air. The train door shuddered, then screeched open, metal bending under an invisible force. Magneto stepped through, his expression cold and calculated, his gaze zeroing in on Marie.
Logan shot up, moving in front of her in an instant, claws extending with a snikt. “Not today, Magneto,” he growled, placing himself between Marie and the older man. Magneto’s face was impassive as he lifted a hand, his voice smooth but forceful. “Move aside, Logan. The girl belongs with me.” Logan braced himself, but with a flick of Magneto’s fingers, he was yanked backward, his body slamming against the metal wall, pinned by Magneto’s power. Straining against the invisible hold, he grit out, “Marie, don’t listen to him.”
Magneto’s attention shifted to you, his brows raised slightly in amusement and with a blink he's dismissing you, pinning you to the side against the cold metal wall. Fuck you cursed under your breath as you remembered having a metal guns with you, strapped between your waist. Should've seen this coming and grab the plastics one you thought, seeing your stubborn head fighting back his strong force with gritted teeth, Magneto strip a piece of metal and lock your neck in place glued within the walls behind you. He's now focusing again on Marie. “They’re just using you,” he told her, his voice almost gentle. “With me, you don’t have to be afraid of your powers. I can teach you to control them to never hurt anyone again.”
Marie stared at him, wide-eyed, caught in a mix of fear and hesitation. Logan's voice broke through the tension, gruff but steady. "Kid, you want control? You've already got it. You just need the right people to help you and it's not him!" His shout echoed, but Magneto only scoffed, lifting a finger with chilling indifference. A thin slice of metal shot forward, pressing itself harshly over Logan's mouth, smothering his words into silence. His eyes blazed, defiant, but Magneto's sadistic gaze was fixed on him, unfazed. Without a word, he manipulated a jagged strip of steel to float between his fingers, then with a slight flick, split it cleanly into two, hovering the pieces in front of Logan's face as savoring the moment for his own sick twisted amusement.
Logan barely had a heartbeat to register what was coming. With brutal precision, the blunt ends of the steel impaled through the both of his palms, burying themselves into the wall behind him. His muscles tensed, body trembling, as blinding pain ripped through his hands, spreading like wildfire up his arms. His scream is muffled under the metal piece, leaving only his strangled, agonized breaths.
You watch in horror, unable to look away. Your neck was bound by a cold band of metal Magneto had twisted around your throat, tight enough to restrict your movements and there's barely a space for air, forcing you to stay still, vulnerable and helpless. It wasn't as brutal as Logan's suffering, but you could feel its cold bite against your skin, a constant reminder of your own fragility in Magneto's grasp. Your hands clenched into fists, nails biting into your palms, you scream for his name as his eyes widened with pain and fury, his silent agony twisting the insides of your stomach.
Magneto continue to extending a hand toward her. “Come with me, Marie. They can’t understand your potential. But I can.”
Her gaze flicked to Logan, then to you, poor girl didn't know what to do, she can't just attack him, it's not how her mutation works. “Marie,” you said gently, “you’re not alone. We’ll help you, just like we promised.” You said almost chocked by your own words as the grip tightened in your neck.
She took a step back, her shoulders squared with a new resolve. “I don’t want your help,” she said to Magneto, her voice shaking but determined. Magneto’s face darkened, his patience running thin. He gestured sharply, and metal restraints began to form around Marie, pulling her toward him. Panic flashed in her eyes as she struggled. “Marie!” You yelled, fighting against the magnetic hold.
The magnetic force on your neck faded, a harsh weight easing as Magneto took off into the distance, Marie in his possession. You drew in a shaky breath, adrenaline still pounding through your veins. Ignoring the pain in your own neck, you rushed to Logan, terror filling you as you saw his hands impaled to the wall, the steel pinning him in place with blood dripping staining the rusty metal. “Shit,” you muttered, reaching for the steel. “I’m so sorry, Logan. I’m sorry.” Your hands shook as you gripped the metal, pulling with all your strength, gritting your teeth against his muffled grunts of pain. “Hang on,” you whispered, glancing up to see the tight set of his jaw, his eyes locked on yours through the agony. You yanked the metal free with a final, determined pull, and instantly his hands started healing, the torn skin knitting itself back together as if it had never been wounded.
He flexed his hands, and for a moment, the raw tension between you eased. But his gaze shifted to your neck, where lines of red cuts were still visible from the steel that had choked you earlier. You could feel the wounds slowly healing, but it was nowhere near as fast as his. Logan’s eyes darkened as he took in the damage, and with a gentleness that surprised you, he reached up, brushing the tips of his fingers lightly along your throat. His voice softened, concern bleeding through his rough tone. “Does it always take this long for you?”
You forced a half-smile, shrugging as best you could without wincing. “Sorry, not everyone heals as fast as you,” you replied with a touch of sarcasm, hoping to deflect the sudden tension thrumming between you. His lips twitched, almost a smirk, but there was something deeper in his gaze, a quiet understanding, maybe even respect as he nodded. Before either of you could say more, the communicator crackled, Ororo’s voice breaking through.
“Logan?" Ororo voice surged, following her muttered your name. "We lost the signal. What’s going on?” Logan’s gaze lingered on you for a moment before he turned his attention to the comm. “He’s got her. Magneto took Marie.” A tense silence filled the line until Scott’s voice cut in, firm and unyielding. “We’ll head back to the mansion and planned further. Tell us your position.” You exchanged a look with Logan, determination settling in your eyes. “We’ll find her,” you said, your voice steady, your conviction mirroring his. A subtle, unspoken bond hung in the air between you, both knowing the chase was just beginning.
••••••••
If there's any new skills you've learned since joining the X-Men, it's pacing from one to another side of the building and change your clothes so quick into a, well kinda uncomfortable tight leather suit which offer enough protection. Even though you don't really need it, because even a bullet hit would just sting and not kill you but here you go, you just thought it would be cool to have a matching sets of suit with the team altogether.
In the equipment room, harsh lights cut across the space, casting sharp shadows that make the room look almost sterile. Steel racks line the walls, filled with various weapons and gadgets neatly arranged in their designated slots. It's cold here, the kind of chill that gets under your skin even if you don’t feel the temperature the same way most people do. You take a breath, inhaling the familiar scent of gun oil and leather, the kind of smell that would remind anyone else of trouble. For you, it’s just another day.
You stand in front of the rack, eyes scanning the gleaming rows of firearms before selecting your special pair. You reach for the twin plastic handguns. Sleek, black, well-maintained—feeling their familiar weight settle in your hands. They’re custom models, modified to go against magneto and obviously with accuracy and grip, with a dark matte finish to avoid glare. The barrels are slightly shorter than standard, making them easier to draw in tight situations, and the grips are textured to keep steady even under pressure. They fit perfectly in your hands, molded to your touch after years of training, of both sanctioned and unsanctioned missions.
As you secure each gun into its holster at your hips, there's a pang in your chest, a familiar bitterness. Guns have been a constant in your life, a tool you were taught to wield with precision and detachment. Yet, no matter how skilled you've become, there’s a shadow that lingers. You've used these weapons to save lives, but you've also used them to take lives, choices that weren't always yours to make.
Your time in the Marines was a relentless cycle of missions, one target after another, where you were pushed to the edge of your humanity, fuck they treated you as a tool because of what you could endure. The regenerative healing meant you could take the hits, walk into gunfire, and still pull the trigger. They called you the "Fire and Flesh" a title that left you both proud and hollow. The memories flicker in your mind as you load each plastic magazine with a kind of practiced ease, slotting a few extra rounds into a small black pouch strapped around your upper arm. You slip a few spare magazines in there, securing them in place as you mentally map out the ammo you'll need.
The guns may be tools, but they’re also symbols. Each grip, each click of a magazine, each time you pull them from your holsters, it reminds you of choices, of freedom and of restraint. And despite everything, you can’t deny the comfort they bring. With these, you’re in control, deciding when and where to draw the line. With an exhale, your hands resting on the metal grips. For better or worse, this is part of you.
You hear voices from across the room and glance over to see Scott handing Logan a black leather suit. Logan takes it with an exaggerated snort, holding it up and making a face as he examines it. "Really, Cyke? You want me to wear this?" His voice drips with sarcasm, but Scott just crosses his arms, standing firm. “It’s for disguise reasons, Logan,” Scott argues, his tone as flat as ever. “Blend in with the team. Makes us look united.”
You can’t help but chuckle, strolling over already wearing your own suit in. “C’mon, mutton chops. It’s just a little leather. Not like it’s gonna kill you,” Your voice has that teasing edge, enough to prod him a little without crossing the line.
Logan scowls, holding the suit like it's something foul he stepped in. He shakes his head, tossing it onto the table with a grunt. "Ain't wearin' this thing," he mutters, crossing his arms, stubborn as ever. Who the hell in their right mind would go out with that pair of jeans and old flannel into a fucking mission, we don't even know what awaits for us.
Scott sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Logan, it’s just a suit. The rest of us manage to get by without complaining."
"Yeah, well, the rest of you don’t mind bein’ squeezed like a sardine,” Logan shoots back. "I work better in my own gear."
You stifle a grin, watching the way he bristles. Real insufferable putting up a fight over a damn suit, and you have to admit, it’s a bit entertaining watching him pushing Scott's button. "Think of it as a team-bonding exercise. Or, you know, try not to embarrass us by showing up like some lumberjack out of place." Scott shot back as you parted your lips shocked by his insults.
Logan retort "What are you sayin man?" His eyebrows now knitted together taking a step closer to Scott. Before Scott could respond, Ororo and Jean stride in, their black suits sleek and professional, eyes sharp as they take in the standoff. “Oh, still fighting it, are we?” Ororo says with a raised eyebrow, a hint of amusement in her tone. She steps over to Logan, crossing her arms. “Logan, it’s a mission. Just wear the suit. You won’t die from being uncomfortable for a couple of hours.” Jean nods, giving him a half-smile. “It’s true, you know. Besides, it would be nice if we looked like a coordinated team for once. Right?” She casts a look around, her eyes landing on you and Scott for support.
Logan snorts, glancing from Jean to Ororo, then back at the suit. “Fine. But if this thing rips while I’m movin’, it’s on you, Cyke,” he growls, grumbling as he reluctantly picks up the suit and walk to a change room, muttering complaints the whole time.
The three of you share a look, trying not to laugh as Logan fumbles with the tight sleeves and zippers, clearly out of his element. Once he’s finally suited up, he shoots each of you a warning glare, as if daring anyone to comment. And with Logan finally in uniform, the team heads out together toward the Blackbird, looking like the united force Scott always hoped for, even if it took a little persuasion.
••••••••••
The night air was sharp and biting, the lights of New York City stretching out in the distance, casting a dim glow against the cloudy sky. The team had arrived at Liberty Island, a cold wind whipping around them as they approached the massive silhouette of the Statue of Liberty, rising majestically above the dark waters. Logan, you, and the rest of the team moved swiftly and quietly through the shadows, each one of you alert and on edge, sensing the danger looming just ahead.
The plan was simple but risky: Ororo would create a mist to obscure your movements, giving Logan and you the cover needed to enter the statue and reach Marie. Scott and Ororo would handle any defenses Magneto might have put up outside, keeping him distracted while the two of you located Marie and found a way to disable whatever device Magneto was planning to use to amplify her powers.
As you continued up through the statue’s dim interior, an old metal detector blocked your path. Logan strode through it, triggering an immediate blaring alarm. Unfazed, he extended all his claws and ripped the detector apart in one swift motion. Scott, startled by the noise, looked back just as Logan retracted his first and last claws, leaving only his middle one raised in Scott’s direction. Scott stifled a laugh, shaking his head in amusement before they both moved on, the brief humor a stark contrast to the tension surrounding them.
Logan’s expression was focused and grim, his gaze scanning every shadow, every corner, for signs of trouble. You kept pace beside him, your weapons drawn, every sense heightened. Each step took you closer to the top of the statue, where you could sense Magneto’s energy, a pulsing, unnatural presence hanging thick in the air. When you finally reached the observation deck, you spotted Marie in the distance, slumped against the metallic structure, her figure dwarfed by the massive machinery Magneto had built around her. The device loomed ominously, wires and metal snaking around her like a cage, amplifying her powers without her control. She looked small and fragile, her skin pale and covered in a thin sheen of sweat, unconscious but alive.
Logan took one look at her and gritted his teeth. “Stay close,” he muttered to you, his claws extending with a soft snikt. “We’re getting her out of this.”
Just as you began to approach Marie, a powerful magnetic force slammed into both of you, sending you skidding backward. Magneto appeared on the platform, his gaze cold and unyielding, blocking the path between you and Marie. His voice echoed through the space, mocking and confident. “You really thought you could take her from me?” he sneered, raising a hand as metal shards hovered around him, glinting menacingly in the dim light.
Logan snarled, launching himself forward, claws extended. But with a flick of Magneto’s wrist, he was halted midair, the metal in his body binding him in place. You raised your weapon, aiming for Magneto’s exposed chest, but he caught sight of it and twisted his hand, forcing the weapon from your grasp and pinning you against the cold metal wall with a jagged piece of railing.
“Enough games,” Magneto said, turning his attention back to Marie. He began to activate the machine, its hum growing louder as power surged through its structure. Logan struggled against his restraints, fury blazing in his eyes as he watched Marie’s life slipping away, her body starting to weaken under the machine’s grip.
Just then, Ororo’s voice crackled over the communicator, barely audible over the machine’s hum. “Hold on, we’re almost there,” she said, her tone filled with urgency. In a flash of lightning, she and Scott burst onto the observation deck, Ororo unleashing a gust of wind that knocked Magneto back a few steps. Scott took the opening, firing an optic blast that shattered the device’s control panel, sending sparks flying across the room.
With the machine momentarily disrupted, the magnetic force binding Logan and you released, dropping you both to the ground. You staggered to your feet, wincing from the impact, but Logan didn’t hesitate. He lunged forward, making his way to Marie as fast as he could, pushing past the debris and machinery in his path.
Reaching her side, Logan dropped to his knees, gathering her limp form into his arms. Her skin was cold, her pulse weak, but she was still breathing. He pulled her close, knowing he had to act fast. Without hesitating, he pressed his cheek to hers, allowing his healing power to transfer, knowing it was the only way to save her.
The process was agonizing. You watched as Logan’s skin paled, his breaths growing ragged as his energy drained into Marie, reviving her but weakening him. Marie’s eyes fluttered open, her gaze unfocused and scared, but slowly, she began to recognize him. She reached out, her gloved fingers gently brushing his face as she whispered, “Logan…”
Just as Marie started to regain her strength, you saw Logan’s energy faltering, his grip on her loosening as his wounds reappeared, reopening as his body sacrificed itself to save hers. But he didn’t pull away, even as his breaths grew shallow, determined to make sure she was safe, no matter the cost.
Finally, the machine gave a final, deafening crackle as Ororo and Scott managed to destroy it completely, its lights dimming as it shut down for good. Magneto, realizing his defeat, retreated into the shadows, his figure vanishing as he made his escape. You hurried to Logan and Marie, relief flooding you as you saw color returning to her cheeks, her breaths becoming steady and strong again.
Logan, however, was on the brink of exhaustion, barely able to stay conscious. You reached out, steadying him, offering him a reassuring squeeze on the shoulder. “You did it,” you murmured, watching as Marie slowly came back to full awareness, glancing between you both with gratitude and a touch of awe.
With Magneto’s plan thwarted and Marie safe, you all made your way back down the statue, the midnight air now filled with the quiet comfort of victory. And as you helped Logan to his feet, his strength gradually doesn't seem to return any soon, you exchanged a look, knowing this was only the beginning of the battles yet to come but for tonight, we won.
The interior of the Blackbird was dimly lit, the faint hum of machinery echoing through the cabin. Logan wandered through the narrow aisles, his feet heavy, as if they were laden with lead. He fought against the growing urge to succumb to sleep, his body weary from the night’s chaos. The adrenaline that had kept him alert during the fight was fading, leaving him feeling unsteady. Each step felt like a monumental effort, his eyelids growing heavier with each passing moment.
Just as he reached the back of the aircraft, the world blurred around him, and he staggered before collapsing against the cold metal wall. A sharp gasp echoed through the cabin, and he slipped into unconsciousness.
••••••••
Sixteen hour passed which Logan had spent being unconscious, a concern rippled through the team as they gathered outside the medbay. Inside, where Logan lay on the bed with thin cushion. Jean was monitoring his vital signs, her brow furrowed with worry. She looked up, meeting the anxious gazes of yours.
“He’s stable,” Jean assured, glancing at the screen displaying Logan’s steady heart rate. “Just needs rest.”
You leaned against the wall, arms crossed, your heart heavy as you watched the man who had prove himself to be become a reluctant mentor, a fierce protector, and a complicated friend in such a short time. “I still can’t believe what happened yesterday,” you said, breaking the silence. “Magneto... he impaled him with a steel in the train wall." Jean nodded, her expression contemplative. “That kind of injury would take a toll on anyone. But with his healing factor, he’ll bounce back. He’s been through worse.”
You couldn’t help but fascinated by Logan’s resilience. “He told me he’s nearly 170 years old,” you murmured, glancing at Logan’s still form. “Can you imagine how much pain he’s endured in all that time? I mean, he might’ve fought in World War I. Who knows what he’s experienced?” You thought to yourself, because from your personal experience, being alive for half a century is miserable enough. Twenty years under the military command which you just gained a freedom from three years now. This guy is almost two century. Jean listened intently, her focus unwavering. “It’s hard to fathom,” she agreed. “He’s been through more than most could bear. But he’s still here, still fighting.”
The two of you continued to speak softly, unaware that Logan’s ears were attuned to your voices, even in his unconscious state. The warmth of your words and concern seeped into him, grounding him despite the darkness. After what felt like an eternity, Jean stood to stretch her legs, casting a final glance at Logan. “I’ll be right back,” she said softly, stepping out of the lab.
As soon as she left, you took a deep breath, the weight of the past hours crashing down on you. You approached Logan, your heart racing as you exhaled, “We still need you here, Wolverine.” The words escaped your lips, raw and sincere, a plea for him to return to you and the team.
To your surprise, a faint whisper broke the silence. “M not goin' anywhere, Hollow.”
Your heart skipped a beat as you turned, eyes wide in disbelief. Logan's eyes fluttered open, glimmering with the remnants of pain yet fierce determination. You felt a flush creep up your cheeks, embarrassment washing over you as you instinctively moved to help him sit up. “Logan! You’re awake!”
He winced slightly but managed a weak grin. “Where’s Marie?” he asked, his voice hoarse but laced with concern. “Still recovering,” you replied quickly. “She’s been a bit off since everything. Picking up your behavior all morning, actually.” A small smile tugged at Logan’s lips. “She’s got grit,” he murmured, his eyes shining with pride.
Just then, the door swung open, and Professor Xavier entered the medbay, his wheelchair gliding smoothly across the floor. “Welcome back, Logan. I’m glad you’re still with us.”
“Yeah, me too,” Logan replied, stealing a glance at you. His smile widened just a fraction, a hint of gratitude in his expression, making your heart swell with relief. In that moment, the weight of fear and worry began to lift, replaced by the warmth of camaraderie and hope. You all knew the battles weren’t over, but with Logan back on his feet, the fight continued.
Part 3 ->
AN: Whooo here we go fellas, I think I've wrapped the introduction now. Be prepared because we're heading for the next chapter where the summary would take place. Thank you for reading and interacting <3
#logan howlet x reader#logan howlett fanfiction#logan howlett#wolverine#wolverine fanfiction#xmen fanfiction#x men
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batfam and what canadian university i’m assigning them
dick - western
i live for frat boy dick
but like not the creepy frat boys
i think canadian greek life is significantly more chill, definitely a lot of drinking though
like i can already imagine him doing a keg stand
not a permanent frat boy ofc but i can kinda see him going a little wild during uni
like he’s definitely sociable and getting invited to all of the parties
but like the academics aren’t bad too so i think he’d have fun there
the campus is pretty big so you need to take the bus to different areas and it always comes late
you just know dick is ditching the bus and straight up booking it, basically doing parkour
jason - uoft
is it kind of a soulless commuter school where it’s practically impossible to make friends unless you live on res in an incredibly expensive city? yes
HOWEVER it also has the largest academic library system in the country and has so many rare books
i just know the lit nerd in him would like it
i think he would also just enjoy going to a large uni with a lot of course selections, so he can choose courses that actually sound interesting to him
he just loves learning for the sake of learning (remember guys, he’s the robin who actually liked going to school) and i think he would appreciate having so many resources at his fingertips, even if the uni community isn’t that good
has a reputation for being a really difficult school
this nerd would somehow make it work
everybody who goes here already needs therapy so he’d fit right in
also i can’t really see him outside of a city, like bro would see the toronto crime (the stabbings and fires on the ttc alone are enough to keep him busy) and be like i can fix it
literally begging him to fix toronto so i can go downtown without the ttc shutting down half of line 2 for no reason
bro would not appreciate the housing though i guess
like why is he paying $2k a month for an apartment that’s only slightly better than the one he grew up in in crime alley
and he has roommates (hear me out him and the outlaws are roommates OR alternatively the most annoying stereotypical toronto men you’ve ever seen and he tries so hard not to bash his head into the wall because of them)
tim - waterloo
listen, i don’t think tim would want to go
like i don’t think uni would teach him anything be can’t figure out on his own
BUT if he had to go, i think waterloo would probably be good for their coop program
also it’s like THE asian school and i feel like most of the fandom has basically decided he’s asian anyways
erm but idk he also dropped out of high school so if he got his ossd maybe he can go to tmu or york
feel like they have the most prodigies too in terms of comp sci and eng so he’d fit right in (but unlike them he’d actually shower)
damian - mcgill
bro is not old enough to even be thinking about uni tbh
i feel like he’d go to an ivy league though, like one of the historic “real” ones
but if he must stay in canada i feel like it would be mcgill (also bc everybody i know at mcgill wants to go to harvard and that’s probably where he’d rather be)
they’ve definitely got a lot of history, they’re part of the old four, and i think he would appreciate montreal (probably would not consider any of the small towns and would think toronto is too trashy and vancouver is rainy)
would refuse to live on campus (fair enough dorms make me depressed too) and probably get a place in westmount (iykyk)
but he’s definitely going to either university of guelph or université de montréal for their vet school
i feel like he would already know french as a kid so the language barrier isn’t even a problem (wish that were me)
#try to guess my favourite#but it’s extremely obvious by how much i wrote for them#batfamily#batfam#batfam hcs#dick grayson#nightwing#jason todd#red hood#tim drake#red robin#damian wayne#dc robin#dc batman#batman comics
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RE: Valorized teachers - I was a teaching assistant who was put into a self contained special ed room. I'm also a wheelchair user with several neurodevelopmental conditions. The way that I was guilted by peers for not staying to shield kids from the abuse they dealt with that was both a) triggering to see/intervene in (since I went through similar shit) and b) minimum wage so I could only afford to eat once every 24 hours was really damaging to me. "If you don't stay and keep the kids safe, they'll just be abused worse." Yeah. They will. And within a month I'll probably kill myself and that'll traumatize them too. I still love those kids and I still lose sleep over "abandoning" one of them in particular but I wanted to survive. So I did everything I could to show them I loved them and they are humans and should be treated like humans, and I left. Other physically disabled people, interestingly, did not have the same hang-ups about self sacrifice (in my experience, obviously everyone is different).
god. yeah.
I'm substitute teaching in a few schools right now to supplement a part-time job I actually love, and while I initially planned to work with the local public school system, I've ended up in a private/independent schools instead. and like.
I grew up in public schools, I have so much beef with private/independent schools (and even more with charter schools, lol. but I'm not working with any of those) and I very much know that the students I'm working with now aren't the ones who need support the most. hell, I'm not even making as much as I could be in the nearest public school system!! private schools pretty much always pay less than public schools do, and that's definitely true here.
I feel bad for not working in public schools, and I could justify that (I turned down one offer from a district because they pay even less than the private schools do, plus the commute would be a nightmare; the other district is so underfunded that they keep firing admin people and they can't get their shit together to onboard me properly, so I now literally can't work there until I get a new passport) but also. like.
I've worked with public schools before, and frankly, I don't love it. The class sizes are twice as large, the schools themselves can't really do anything innovative on a larger scale, and the teachers pretty invariably don't love working there. They love their students, but the school?? There's always something to complain about.
One of the schools I work at right now is doing shit no public school can do, the entire student population is less than 50 kids, and the kids and teachers are genuinely happy there. Like, truly, honestly love being there. And I do, too! It's my favorite school to sub for, and it's not close.
Idk. I feel guilty sometimes, but also, like... it's not really fair to ask teachers to sacrifice their own happiness for the sake of protecting a few students from a broken system. I commend the people who do it, they're making an important difference, but it's really not enough to fix the problem itself. And it's not fair to expect it to be enough.
We need systemic change. We need better funding, better pay, smaller class sizes, people in charge who know what the hell they're doing, and we need to scrap current professional development practices and invest in long-term, ongoing coaching and mentoring practices for teachers so they can (and are accountable for) staying up-to-date with evidence-based (read: student-centered!!!) pedagogical approaches.
That doesn't just happen from inside one classroom, or even on the backs of the genuinely great classroom teachers currently making that sacrifice for their students. Other people- more people than just the education field itself- need to give a shit and make an effort, too.
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Pumpkin Sugar (Part 4)
Raphael x GN!Reader - Established Relationship
Part 1 . Part 2 . Part 3 . Part 4 . Epilogue (🌶️Fem!Reader)
Based on this ask by @gornackeaterofworlds
More of a question to expand on than a detailed request, but would raph help a teacher reader grade papers?? Would he get invested in gossip on the kids??
I was zoning out and somehow thought about elementary school teacher readers, coming back to the lair with papers to grade, Donnie getting angry over the lesson plans you have to use, etc. And then, like always, raph thoughts(I am unbelievably gushy to raph x lil sweet cheery readers) Being oh so sleepy tired but still having work to do. Grading papers, getting activities printed and cut, weekly plans. I'd like to imagine he helps to get you to sleep faster, all the while listening to the venty yapping about which kids are troublemakers
Special thanks to @the-cauldron-witch . The best brainstorming buddy I could honestly ask for. Could not have written this without you. 😁
"I'll give you one Hershey bar."
He shakes his head, ruffling his sandy hair.
You usually didn't negotiate with terrorists.
"Two Hershey bars," you offer.
He shakes his head again.
Okay kid, you wanna play hardball...?
"Two Hershey bars and I won't tell your mom about Cheez-it." You cross your arms, knowing you've got him when his eyes widen in terror.
About a month ago, you found an... let's go with the term "unsanctioned classroom pet," living in Avery's desk. Evidently, the kid had found the mouse at recess and proceeded to keep it and bring it back and forth to school so that his parents didn't find out.
When you found his "enclosure," you couldn't even be mad. It was impressive. The mouse had everything he needed. Food, water, enrichment, even light! Avery actually did a bang up job taking care of the little guy. Which is why you didn't tell his parents. Instead, you helped him release it behind the playground. There were sniffles, but no tears. He really loved that little mouse.
But all's fair in war.
You raise your eyebrows, looking down at him expectantly. He begrudgingly holds out his hand, and drops whatever it is into yours.
You open your hand and freeze.
....
Raph sits on the couch, head in his hands. Either she's got it, or some punk kid does, and either way, it's a fucking disaster.
Either he's spending another year making another ring, or...
There's no way out if it. if she found the ring, it was happening today.
He's not ready.
Fuck.
He's not ready.
"This can't be fucking happening...."
...
The experiment went well, and all the kids loved it, but you were only half there the whole time.
A ring..?
You tried thinking back to your commute, someone you may have bumped into, anyone that may have dropped the ring. Maybe, if you see them on Monday, you can return it to them. It looks special. It feels special. And it's gorgeous. It even has your favorite...
Woah, no. Pump the brakes. That's not what this is.
On the astronomically low chance it is his, there is a simple explanation. He probably found it and was going to hand it to April to pawn. They do that for extra cash when they find something valuable. That's all this is.
But the notes... Some annoyingly hopeful part of your brain whispers, and for a turtle, he was being real squirrelly...
No.
But maybe...?
No. It's not.
But what if it is...?
"Shut up..." You groan aloud at your brain, head dropping to you hands, spinning with the clash of hope and reality.
...
By the end of the day, you're still no closer to figuring out an explanation that isn't... that. With all the Halloween activities the school had planned, you haven't even had a chance to call him. But what would you even say? You can't even say the word. It's so far beyond the realm of possibility it didn't even bear mentioning. Right?
Better to ask in person. Casually. Don't make a big deal about it. If that isn't what this is, you'll just embarrass yourself.
But you want it to be. You really really want it to be. But that was up to him. You'd already decided to be together until the sun burns out, so "together forever" was kind of understood. You didn't care what it's called or what it looks like. You love him. So, so much.
You can't exactly shout it from the rooftops without alerting every enemy in the city, but you would be more than happy to do it in front of all your friends and family.
And he does look damn good in a suit...
Stop it.
...
His heart is pounding. You'd be home any minute and then he would know.
You never really talked about it. You never brought it up. He didn't even know if it was something you wanted.
Fuck.
What if you don't?
What if you don't want to get married?
What if he really really fucked up?
"Incoming!" Donnie shouts as he sees you arriving on the monitors. Your brow is furrowed and you seem almost lost in thought.
When they hear the vault wheel begin to turn as you're entering the lair, everyone except Raph dives into the lab, leaving him alone in the middle of the room, abandoning him.
Dicks.
You step into the lair and set your things in the corner. He's attempting to look casual as you walk over to him, and failing miserably. You feel almost as terrified as he looks.
"Hey."
"Hey."
"So, um... There was a ring..."
Fuck.
He cringes, "Yeah... You, uh... weren't supposed to see that, yet." He shifts uncomfortably, cheeks darkening, looking away. "I just finished it yesterday... That's why it was even on me in the first place."
"Finished it..?"
"Yeah... Well... I uh... I didn't want to give you a stolen ring... And I sure as shit wasn't going to give you one I dug out of the garbage... I figured... If I was gonna ask you to marry me... it'd have to be special." He clears his throat, still looking everywhere but at you.
You inhale, but can't find your voice. All day. All day you'd beat down that desperately hopeful part of you. You'd almost can't parse what's actually happening.
"Marry you...?"
He takes a deep breath, now or never. "Okay... so... this isn't how I wanted to do this, but here we are, so... I guess I'm doing this." He closes the gap and takes your hands is his. They're shaking. "Okay, so I know we never talked about this, and um..." he meets your gaze for the first time, "a-and if this isn't something you want, it's fine, really..." he says, sincerely. He had to give you an out, he's fine with not being married, as long as he doesn't lose you. "But I love you, and... and I kinda want everyone to know... and I know that it can't really be an official thing, but um... Do you think, maybe..."
He sighs. Fuck it. If he was gonna do it, he was gonna do it right.
He drops to one knee, and you're already crying. He looks lost for a second, "Um... do you have...?"
"Oh, right!" You say, and you quickly pull the ring out of your pocket and hand it to him, both of you laughing or crying at this point and neither of you are really sure which.
He takes a deep breath, laughing nervously, before looking back up at you, "Y/(full)N... I've loved you since the moment we met, and I would really, really like to spend the rest of my life with you... Will you m-"
"Yes!!!" You don't even let him finish. You pounce on him, knocking him on his ass and kissing him fiercely. "Yes!," you say between kisses, "Yes! Of course I'll marry you!!!"
He's laughing and hugging you as Leo, Donnie, and Mike tumble out of the lab. You're on his lap on the floor and he's slipping the ring on your finger as he's kissing you. It fits perfectly.
Mike is the first one to reach you, sliding on his knees at the end to be on the floor with the two of you, and wrapping his arms around you both. "Welcome to the family, sis!!!"
"She was already part of the family," Donnie says, smiling down at you.
"You were in on this, weren't you, fucker." you accuse Donatello. He laughs heartily, confirming your suspicion.
"Congrats, guys," says Leo with a warm smile.
You can't stop smiling as you look around at your soon-to-be unofficially official brothers-in-... law? in spirit? You're not entirely sure what it would be called since they legally don't exist but YOU DON'T CARE YOU'RE GETTING MARRIED.
You throw your arms around your fiance's neck and snuggle into him, laughing. Holding you tightly, he breathes you in and doesn't plan on letting go for a long, long time.
...
Tag list
@thelaundrybitch @the-cauldron-witch @fyreball66 @ninnosaurus @tmntngl @thegirlwiththeninjaturtletattoos @zagreustomb @ramielll @silverwatergalaxy @gornackeaterofworlds @daedric-sorceress @sophiacloud28 @iridescentflamingo
......
Part 1 . Part 2 . Part 3 . Part 4 . Epilogue (🌶️Fem!Reader)
#bayverse raphael#raphael x reader#tmnt raphael#bayverse raphael x reader#tmnt#raph x reader#tmnt raphael x reader#tmnt bayverse#teenage mutant ninja turtles
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graylyra one shot?
Location Services
Grayson x Lyra
words: 734 words
warnings: n/a
A/N: my first ever one-shot/fic. sorry if it's a little short.
Dunkin Donuts was not an ideal meeting location for Grayson Hawthorne. He couldn’t even recall the last time that he’d had a donut, much less one from a chain restaurant. However, long distance made him desperate and he would do anything short of murder to see his girlfriend while he was in her college town. So there he was, sitting in a Dunkin Donuts in jeans and a crew neck—also out of character for him—waiting for Lyra Kane to get out of class.
Relationships were weird for Grayson, and Lyra knew that. They’d talked about it an abundance of times. Especially when it came to the dreaded long-distance conversation. Obviously, there wasn’t much that Lyra could do about it. She was, first-and-foremost, a college student. That has always been true. It just never felt real until The Game was over and she actually had to go back.
Winning the game was a big deal for her, as she was able to save her family’s home and pay off her tuition debt. However, they didn’t see eachother often. Over the summers she was working internships and he was working the foundation. She never came to Texas, because when she was free to go anywhere, she went home to her family. Not his family.
She graduated at the end of the semester and the thought of What happens after? was constantly running through Grayson’s head. What happens when she’s truly free to go anywhere? What happens when she has a choice between going somewhere else and coming closer to him—coming closer to home?
His stream of consciousness was interrupted when she walked in. She was radiant. Her tan skin practically glowed and she was dressed casually. She was smiling. After everything that had happened, it was amazing for Grayson to see her smile. He thought about how many times she’d said the same about him.
“Hey, Hawthorne,” Lyra said grinning as she set her backpack down in the chair across from him.
They went to the counter to order their drinks. As they talked about life, school, and the mundane parts of life, Lyra looked as if she was about to explode.
“Do you have something you want to tell me?” Grayson asked expectantly, once they were safely seated at the table with their drinks. He was silently wishing it was news that would, hopefully, segue naturally into a conversation about, for lack of a better term, living situations.
“Do you remember that internship I was working at last summer?” Lyra asked through a grin.
He did remember. Her local internship. Not in Texas.
“I do remember. The data analysis one, right?”
“Yes! Well, guess what?”
“What?”
“They offered me a permanent position. At a satellite branch. In Texas!”
Grayson’s mind blanked, the sentence ‘In Texas!’ the only thing in his head. He hadn’t expected his wish to work.
“Grayson! Don’t you know what this means?”
“Hmm?”
“I can get an apartment with the salary they’re paying me so I can be clo–”
“Do you want to move into my penthouse?”
Lyra’s eyes widened, and Grayson looked down as he realized that she hadn’t even said whether she was in Austin, or Dallas, or San Antonio, or Houston. Or maybe, since it was a satellite branch, they were looking for smaller cities: San Marcos, Corpus Christi, Waco, New Braunfels. She might even be going to Nacogdoches. He sounded inconsiderate interrupting her when she could’ve been giving important context that saved him from embarrassment. Grayson wished that spoken word had an unsend button.
“I’d love to, Grayson.”
Grayson looked up at her, and in that moment he had never loved her more. Moments of their future flashed through his head. The two of them waking up together, making dinner, watching movies, and even seeing each other off to work. Her voice brought him back to the present.
“My job is in the city and your penthouse is actually really close to the office. It’d be nice to not have to commute. Even nicer if it means I get to be with you while I do it.”
“Okay,” he said softly. “I’ll come up here to help pack your apartment and then move you down to Texas when your lease is up.”
She held her drink up in the air to mimic a champagne glass. “To new beginnings?”
He smiled and picked up his cup.
“To new beginnings.”
#the inheritance games#the final gambit#the grandest game#the hawthorne legacy#grayson hawthorne#lyra x grayson#lyrason#lyra kane#the brothers hawthorne#oneshot#isabellas fics
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