#i know outdoor cats is bad but i do not have the means to trap and forcibly inside her rn

[mywillbedone]

[the-adventures-of-dave]

Genuinely worried, not a troll ask. Is TNR bad in all situations? I’m in an extremely rural area and have been working to TNR the local cat colony for about six years now. Most are feral, so it literally is ‘trap’ in that TNR and then handle the trap with puncture proof gloves, etc. I’ve managed to bring their numbers down from the mid twenties to about eight with only one litter born this spring, that I managed to catch and get to a shelter three hours away before they were too feral to handle.

Basically if I didn’t do TNR here, we’d just have a ton of feral cats and no birds at all? There are no resources. I’ve been trying for years to find someone willing to work with this area and we’re too far out in a zone with no resources in the one county shelter.

Hey there anon! I don't know if TNR is bad in all situations, I can just speak to what I've heard/read about and how it personally makes me feel. I'm glad that the method worked for you in your area and you were able to get that last litter to a good home! Regardless of my own feelings I'm glad it worked for you.

Below the cut are my thoughts on TNR. I don't mean it personally anon, I think that your care for the cats in your area is very honourable even if I don't quite agree with TNR as a whole. This is more of an explanation as to how TNR makes me feel than anything else.

Environmentally, you're still reintroducing the cats back into the ecosystem (just neutered). If TNR works exactly as it's supposed to and the cats don't die prematurely that's still years to potentially over a decade of dead birds killed by cats. There have also been studies shown that TNR doesn't always work as successfully as in your situation. People often see feeding stations as a safe place to dump unwanted pets, or else other intact strays can move in to fill in the gaps of deceased TNR colony members. [1] [2] [3]

My biggest concern with TNR though is the welfare of the cats. To use your colony as an example, in the course of six years you lost 15-20 cats. Some friendly kittens might have been adopted out, but what happened to the other ones that weren't adoptable? We keep our pet cats indoors to keep them safe from harm, but there's no way to keep ferals safe from disease, parasites, injuries, traffic, weather, or wildlife. Without an owner they're left wandering out there without vet care after being hit by a car, or getting frostbite, an infection, illness, etc. When they do die stray cats usually die pretty gruesome deaths, and personally I'm uncomfortable condemning a cat to that by rereleasing them with TNR. Even if TNR was a 100% effective way to minimize cat populations to me it seems kind of... cruel.

My sort-of jab at the author of that book was related to my feelings on those cats. Alley Cat Allies and other TNR groups often argue that if a cat is a part of a TNR colony it shouldn't be adopted out. TNR groups often advocate for these "community cats" to be left alone. Here's a screenshot from Alley Cat Allies in an article titled "5 Ways to Advocate for Cats in your Community":

Knowing that these cats can be injured/killed so easily and painfully and that they're being denied a safe, happy, and healthy life with a human owner just doesn't sit right with me. Not every TNR group advocates for this kind of practice, but it's enough of a pattern that I'm wary of them. It seems like the author of that book thinks it's better for your cat to be "happy and free" outdoors rather than inside.

[revcleo]

In the comments of the latest anti-outdoor post, there was this post:

I'm guessing they meant "coincidentally we've had a loss in the biodiverse population of birds here"

The sentence "cats have been recognised as one of the big reasons for the decline of the bird population here." is false as far as I can find from any sources.

the main problem on the Island is:

People are trapping song birds by the thousands in order to eat them.

They say that hunting is a big problem, but the problem is not reported by any one interested in cats as being about cats.

Unfortunately a lot of people will see the post and think, "This person knows what they're talking about because they are from the place and confirming what I believe."

When if they had any basic information about the history of cats on Cyprus they would be like, "What? Why now?" Cats have been on cyprus for 5,000 years according to one archaeological dig, and by tradition, since 300 AD.

Why would an Island which has been known for being full of cats for about two thousand years, only now have a problem with them?

Additionally cats are generally considered an invasive species, but there's no specifics on what sources this person has used. What they may be saying is that the invasive species tracker counts cats as one of them. Which is true. But it doesn't take into account what the tracker means or what invasive means.

Like cats are in 100 of the World's Worst Invasive Alien Species, because yes they do cause damage. But stoats are also in there. This doesn't mean all stoats are always invasive or bad for their local environment, it means there's already where stoats are causing problems. (NZ)

But this sort of post (whether or not it's done by a kid or someone with qualifications) it still is the kind of post which can't be backed up by any real information but provides the sort of emotional boost to someone's feelings that this is the real information if they are against outdoor cats existing in any country

There are some real issues with outdoor cats in places where cats have only been for 200 years or sooner, but people from those countries often use bad arguments and influence people from counties which don't have those problems to adopt the bad arguments, which inadvertently cover up real problems. (such as the Telegraph trying to use the outdoor cats bad to cover up the fact that the main problem with bird populations in the UK being decimated is through land use change destroying their nesting grounds and food sources)

It's just dishonest really.

[communitycats]

Cozy hang and a disruption

Yesterday in the afternoon I caught Xixi and Mookie being so cute. Xixi always like to loaf and sleep on the outdoor chaise. But this time, Mookie was on there too! It was so cute. Xixi definitely feels safe on there and sleeps there for hours. I hope she gets to have a deep sleep on it. Mookie must've also realized it is a safe space and decided to join Xixi. They seem to like each other okay too. Both are chill, cautious, sweet cats.

Mookie has been consistently coming for breakfast and dinner the past few days. Which was great since she was MIA for a few days at a time and was also very weak over a week ago. I hope she continues to come. Today is a disruption unfortunately though because we have people working in the backyard with loud noises. And they are going to be scared to come by. I wish I woke up earlier and fed them because they were already around at 6:30am. I feel really bad. I put food out in the front door but I don't know if they will come. I tried to communicate with them through a "heart connection" but I don't know if it will work.

Mookie likes to eat a lot. She eats big full on meals. Even though I heard that cats have small stomachs and prefer to eat multiple small meals throughout the day. Maybe that's just her style? Hope she is okay eating that way. Seems to be fine.

I did feed Pointy this morning though, I caught him at the bottom of the steps in the front and he came right up. I brought the trap out front so that he could eat inside it and continue to get used to it. I don't know when I'm going to be able to trap him though. This week he has mostly come in the mornings and one time at 3pm. I need him to come in the afternoon/evening again so I can trap him at that time and take him to the spay/neuter clinic the next morning at like 6am. If he doesn't do so this week then I guess I'll have to try for next week.

Chris told me our neighbor Nicholas saw Pointy (he calls him D for deez nuts) and apparently Pointy's owners walked by saying "that's our cat!" and Nicholas told them you should get him fixed. The owners said he is fixed. Nicholas said no he isn't, he has balls. ...Pointy has owners?! He literally looks like a stray, he's so dirty all the time. He's not super skinny though I will say that. He is okay sized, so maybe someone's feeding him. I hope Pointy doesn't have a microchip so that the vet will neuter him. I read a nextdoor post yesterday about a person's cat who was pregnant and they couldn't find the cat for a few days, finally came back without babies and a tipped ear. Someone must've thought the cat was a stray. I mean, if there is no collar or chip and they are obviously not fixed then...I dunno. What an awkward situation.

Here's a picture of Pointy eating in the trap a few days ago (Xixi in the back lol). Now I put the food in deeper and he will go all the way in, no problem.

[petnews2day]

Readers reply: should I let my cat outside? | Cats

New Post has been published on https://petnews2day.com/pet-news/cat-news/readers-reply-should-i-let-my-cat-outside-cats/

Readers reply: should I let my cat outside? | Cats

Should I let my cat outside? Apparently she’s in danger – and is a danger herself. Alicia Burton, Shrewsbury

Send new questions to nq@theguardian.com.

Readers reply

Outside cats kill songbirds and small mammals. They use neighbours’ flower beds and children’s sandboxes for litter boxes and spread disease. Cats should be kept inside. PennsylvaniaModerate

Where I live your cat might get eaten by a coyote, so no. Also they are terrible on birdlife. If you must, create a nice catio for outdoor fun. I think cats that have never been indoor/outdoor do OK indoors-only, but it is hard to change from being in and out to in-only. martimart

Cats are outdoor creatures – if you can’t allow them outside, for whatever reason (and there may be good reasons not to in some locations), you shouldn’t have a cat. To keep a cat inside-only means you have put your desires ahead of his/hers. I don’t have a dog because I can’t give one what it needs – the same applies; it’s selfish and cruel. It’s not unlike people who declaw (anyone who does so should have the same done to them) – if you don’t accept the risk of damage to furniture etc, don’t have a cat. We’ve always had a cat flap and so know that the cat chooses to live with us – she could leave at any time but doesn’t. I am not sure it’s healthy to keep an animal trapped with you against their will. bobbitygobitty

My cat was a rescued feral kitten, he barely survived starvation on a Miami street before I saved him. He adores my screened-in porches and lanais, where he can be “safely” outside without actually being outside. I’ve left my front door open by accident and he cringes away from it. He knows what is out there. He sees them (the wild animals) from his screened porch and he wants nothing to do with the outside world. Slinger

People tend to have very emotional responses to questions regarding pets, so this particular debate tends to get quite heated quite fast. My view in general is that it just seems odd we have this weird exception where cats are concerned. If I chose to keep a dog or some other animal and I let it roam around other peoples’ gardens unsupervised doing its business on the lawn they would be rightfully angry with me. But if it’s a cat it’s fine for some reason.

My preference in general is for people to keep their pets on their own property, or otherwise under control (eg, on a lead when out of the house), but where cats are concerned free-ranging has been the norm for so long that it would be hard to put that genie back in the bottle (or that cat back in the bag).

It seems undeniably bad for the cats (we had several that were killed on the roads when I was growing up), and bad for wildlife. Even ignoring the death toll on small mammals and birds, inter-breeding with free-ranging housecats has all but wiped out Scottish wildcats as a separate species. Pode

If you are worried about whether they’ll be OK being indoor-only cats, don’t worry. There are about 75m of them in North America. The vast majority are just fine. In many cities in Canada and the US it’s against bylaws to let cats free roam. If you have space, a catio is the perfect solution. KimberlyCoast

Once I got a couple of chickens (free to roam). Then I got rats. Then I got a cat. Now I no longer have rats. She hunts all night, sleeps all day. She seems to need to touch base with me once a day, but apart from that is doing her own thing. I put that down to me allowing her to fully pursue her instincts, so I am mostly OK with the small mammals she brings in. The bat was like something out of Hammer horror film, though. How a cat catches a bat remains a mystery. lcj4949d

Like everything, it depends. If you live in a high-traffic area, there is an increased risk she could be injured. If you live close to a nature reserve there is an increased risk she could snack on an endangered or protected species. If you live in a quiet-ish neighbourhood and she has a bell on her collar, you’re probably OK. Stroppimare

I’ve shared space with cats and they were all outdoor cats, to be fair I never thought of keeping them in. Sure there are dangers out there, but I feel they have a life much more in tune with their natural instincts being outdoors roaming about, doing their thing. I wouldn’t have a cat and keep them in, I’d feel cruel keeping an animal just for my own selfish pleasure if it couldn’t live as it wanted. As I’m away a lot I don’t have a cat now, however the local neighbourhood has a few cats bouncing around. They mainly seem to laze about, occasionally shagging and fighting with each other. Nice life for them. Liverpooldave

I adore my cat and would never let him outside for the simple reason that it’s an ugly and dangerous world. If I let him outside, he could get hit by a car, he might be injured by some unpleasant and unstable person or he might be kidnapped and I’d never see him again. At home he has his big lovely cat bed to relax on, loads of toys and access to fresh food and water. I think if you truly love your cat you won’t put them outside. Hyufcdtb

I am pretty sure that even if he was capable of making a rational, risk-based decision, my cat would still choose to go outside. The world is dangerous for humans too, but we don’t sit at home scared to go out. whatwasigoingtosay

If possible, harness train. A cat who has a strong urge to go outside will more than likely tolerate having a harness as they’ll start to associate the harness with outdoor access. Keeps them safe while enabling them a bit of freedom. I adopted my cat when she was about six months and harness trained her a few months later. Hilarious floor flops at the first attempt, but the desire to be outdoors over-rode her initial resistance to the harness and now she comes running when I jingle the harness for her. I will likely draw the line at pushing her around in a stroller – witnessed someone in my neighbourhood doing this with their cat last week. The human looked ridiculous, but I must say that the cat looked quite content and imperious. Jammygal

Do not harness train your cat! Cats are flight animals and harnesses impede their ability to run off when they’re stressed or feel a sense of danger. It will have a negative impact on their overall welfare and severely impacts natural behaviours. Please do proper research on cat behaviour. If you want to let your cat outside you should actively play with it for at least 15 minutes a day and feed it a high protein/ real-meat-rich diet – this has been proven to decrease the amount of wildlife cats prey on. Additionally, do not let them out at dusk or dawn but just during the day. GoblinBombardment

This reminds me of one of the Inspector Morse episodes, Who Killed Harry Field? The titular Harry being an artist (and murder victim) with a sideline in concocting bogus coats of arms complete with Latin mottos for the credulous. Here goes …

Morse: “Felix noctu exponendus” [Laughs]. Lewis: lt’s the way you tell them, sir. Morse: lt’s translated for the Pfeiffers of Chicago as “Happy the man daring to go out into the darkness.” Lewis: What’s it really mean? Morse: “At night, put the cat out.” Mobilepope

[tendercoretroglodyke]

kind of annoying how ppl on here are just SO eager to advocate for the outright culling of all introduced (aka "invasive") species and act like anyone who is concerned for the welfare of the introduced species are painfully naive and/or PETA members (I usually see this regarding feral/outdoor cats, but w other species too)

tl;dr there's SO much more nuance when it comes to introduced animal control methods than simply a TNR/culling dichotomy, and some of you NEED to learn that reading some reactionary rants against animal rights activists doesn't make you an expert conservationist!!

Source: I'm an animal behavior & conservation master's student who recently took a class on human-wildlife conflict and wrote an 18 page term paper reviewing the massive invasive species problem in Australia, all the control methods, and the various perspectives regarding those control methods--which earned me an "It was a pleasure having you in class!" from my professor 😌

strap in lmao this is a crash course in my term paper

the longer these people rant about it the more blatantly obvious it becomes that they're just jumping to the opposite extreme from animal rights activists bc they think that makes them good environmentalists or makes them seem smart. like I GET the appeal, ofc it would be NICE to have a simple answer to managing introduced species by telling yourself "the health of the ecosystem comes before the welfare of the dirty rotten invasive species, so let's just kill them all"

but like. first of all it's almost DEFINITELY a more complicated situation than 'introduced species overpopulates and eats and/or outcompetes the native species and causes them to go extinct' (there are MULTIPLE forces at work here). second, culling is NOT always the effective cure-all you think it is!!! for ex/ culling of cane toads in australia ends up just.... making room in the ecosystem for more cane toads!! ALSO! encouraging people to go out and kill every "invasive" animal they find can often lead to NATIVE wildlife being killed accidentally, AND killing methods that are extremely painful and drawn out!

then there's the issue of animal welfare, which yes, introduced species ARE entitled to. the terminology around the discussion of how to "combat" the tides of "invasive" species only encourages us to see this situation as a war with an enemy hell-bent on destroying our ecosystem. but that's bullshit. they're literally JUST animals, which have been displaced by HUMANS, and for some reason their population ended up thriving in this new place. they aren't evil, and they DO deserve some compassion.

that said, obviously control measures often need to be taken against introduced species when they become a significant problem for the endemic species, and often TNR isn't an effective or practical method on its own. but TNR and culling aren't the ONLY control options--there are actually several control methods, each with its own levels of efficacy and welfare, each of which differs depending on the specific species and environment. these include methods like immunocontraception (high welfare, moderate efficacy), releasing species-specific viruses (extremely effective in australian rabbits, but VERY poor welfare), or hunting & trapping--for actual USE, unlike with culling (moderate-high efficacy, relatively moderate welfare if done properly)

then there's the question of whether introduced populations SHOULD be controlled, and if so, how much, and should they be completely wiped out just kept at a manageable population, etc etc etc. the concept of battling invasive species is VERY much a western preservationist (earlier trend in conservation) concept. this idea that the ecosystem would run in perfect stable harmony if not for humans (and the species we introduce around the world), and it's our moral obligation to keep the ecosystems around us EXACTLY as they were when we found them... as much as possible. but that's simply not true!! yes obviously humans have had a... significant impact on the environment and its animals. it's hard to overstate this point! but that doesn't mean that we are supposed to play impartial gods over our local ecosystems and make sure things stay exactly the same.

the fact is, many indigenous cultures DON'T view introduced species as a significant problem, barring more extreme circumstances. in my research I found surveys of aboriginal australian opinions on invasive control measures and many had said they DON'T see them as invasive, because they grew up on this land and therefore have a right to be there, just like any of them. indigenous cultures, to my knowledge, also tend to have a stewardship over their land not based in CONTROL (like western conservationists) but as an equal PART of a functioning ecosystem. rather than trying to "fix" the ecosystem like a benevolent god, they are a PART of the ecosystem and they adapt to the changing balance of it just like all the other creatures must.

that said, when they DID believe it was time to take some control measures, those surveyed were much more likely to prefer control methods like hunting for use over things like poisoning or culling, calling those methods a waste of a natural resource.

anyways. I've spent way too long on this instead of doing my project lol. I gtg but please know you don't HAVE to advocate for culling invasive species to get ur conservationist cred!! there's a lot of nuance in these situations and it's not a bad thing to care about the wellbeing of ALL animals--it's actually a good thing!!

[yellowmagicalgirl]

Seklos and Gaylen, They Were Cagemates! Chapter 1: Captivity

Agents of Area 49-B are there during the chaos of the Eternal Night, and unnoticed they manage to capture two specimens: an emo wizard and an Akiridion prince. Douxie and Krel must rely on each other to make it out alive, but neither expected such a deep bond to form between the two of them.

Do not let the meme title fool you, this fic will be dark.

Trigger/Spoiler Warning for Chapter 1: electrocution, kidnapping, and references to canon-typical violence as well as child abandonment.

AO3

FFN

Douxie wasn't sure why he expected the future to be void of Gumm-Gumms. Sure, according to Zoe, trolls had largely disappeared from the world at the same time that Merlin and Morgana did. And Tatik Margarid had only seen a troll once. Thus, Douxie had assumed that trolls had largely disappeared, having crawled deep underground. Orglak and his horde had stopped trying to kill humans, and the only threat to stray cats (or dragons who looked like cats) were Shadow Mephits.

Naturally, Douxie had been wrong. Gumm-Gumms had attacked the Battle of the Bands. And obviously, some people had known about them, like Claire. She had been better prepared, with her armor. There was something familiar about it. Something that made him feel homesick for Camelot.

It really sucked. And the Battle of the Bands had been going so well before the sky went orange and the Gumm-Gumms attacked. The competition was, for the most part, the way it had been last year - a bunch of amateurs who were looking for fame and had thus trained themselves to sing and badly play guitar in a month, and music students hoping to impress their teachers even though the school year had just ended. But there had been a boy who fulfilled two out of the three indicators of Douxie's type. He had wavy, chin-length hair, and he was good at music. Douxie didn't normally like dubstep, and yet that boy's music had been so mesmerizing.

Oh, who was Douxie kidding? The dubstep artist was mesmerizing in general. Douxie got the feeling that the others in Ash Dispersal Pattern would be teasing him about his latest crush right now if they weren't…

Douxie didn't know where they were. He bit his lip. Could they be dead?

He shook his head. No. He couldn't allow himself to think like that. He knew that a lot of normal humans had immediately ran for cover, so he had to think that his bandmates were still alive and in hiding. He could find them, and possibly grieve them, when the Gumm-Gumms were gone. Or he could finally reveal to them what he had been keeping a secret from the world ever since he was fourteen, and before that, until he was taken in by Merlin. It was lonely, having to keep the truth about himself hidden from his friends, and maybe this sudden incursion of Gumm-Gumms were a blessing in disguise. A chance to reveal himself. Though, he would have to check with Tatik Margarid and the hedge wizards first. He wouldn't put them in danger for his own desire to not have to hide a part of himself. After all, they couldn’t be sure if humans would accept them or not.

Douxie pushed the thoughts out of his head as he readied yet another spell. He couldn't allow himself to get distracted. Not now, not when he was in the middle of a battle. If he got too distracted, he could lose a limb or have his head bitten off.

Or, as he would later piece together, if Douxie got too distracted a normal human could hit him with a taser, knock him out, and kidnap him.

Krel let out a sound that might’ve been considered a scream of frustration had it been louder. The Mothership had been fixed! They should have left sooner, but no, they had stuck around on this mudball so that Krel could have made his mark on the humans of Arcadia Oaks. Kleb, that decision was so stupid! They should have just left. His family and Zadra would be safely hiding, and the traitor would be exiled in a place that Aja and Krel would know about.

He would never admit it to anyone, but Krel had been so stupid. Stupid, and egotistical, and so many other things he wouldn’t dare to admit to anyone.

Krel stood up and stretched. Ricky and Lucy were always trying to tell him that fresh air was good for him. It was a fault in their programing, to try and be parents to the human versions of Aja and Krel, since Akiridions didn’t need to breathe. How could the freshness of the air affect him? Moreover, how could the unfiltered air outside be fresher than the air inside?

But after all these horvaths of trying and failing, Krel would take their more-than-likely faulty advice.

Zadra was arguing with Ricky and Lucy, so Krel was able to sneak around her. Aja was closer to the door, talking on her phone.

“One moment, Steve,” she said before pressing the phone to her chest. “Where are you going?”

“Out.”

“Do you want me to come with you?”

“I’ll be fine.”

“Are you sure you’ll be safe?”

“Yes, Aja.” He held up his serrator. “I’ll be fine. Don’t tell Zadra.”

“I wouldn’t dream of it,” she said, before going back to talking to Steve. Ugh, hopefully they weren’t planning on doing more K-I-S-S-ING.

Krel exited the Mothership, looking up at the evening sky. Given how far they were from the city, Krel could just make out the beginnings of stars, as well as the brighter, more constant glow of the other planets in this system and the moon. The sky was so different here, compared to home. If he really focused, maybe he could figure out which star was nearest to home, but from so far away he would probably need some of the Mothership’s help.

Krel sighed. He didn’t need to, since he didn’t need to breathe, but it did have a calming effect. Huh. Perhaps Ricky and Lucy were right. The outdoor air was helping him.

Maybe Earth wasn’t too bad. They had to constantly hide, and it was a primitive planet, but Krel felt like he was starting to understand it. Leaving would throw the bounty hunters off their trail, yes, but it would also be a new set of social rules to learn.

Likewise, maybe it was nice that the Mothership had landed so far from the city, instead amongst all the trees. No pesky humans were there to watch Krel in his true form and talk about how all aliens wanted to suck humans’ brains out through their ears. He wouldn’t need to hide like this.

He tripped over a tree root.

Stupid. This planet was so stupid, and so were trees. Krel couldn’t wait to leave this stupid, stupid mudball.

Krel picked himself up, dusting himself off. Home didn’t have dirt. The Mothership didn’t have dirt. He hated it. Its texture was so gritty and frustrating. Stupid mudball made of dirt. Oh, why had he left the nice, clean Mothership?

Krel began to turn around when he saw bright orange through the trees. He would be best off ignoring it. As the past delson had proved, Earth was a very strange place, with things that Krel didn’t need to investigate.

But he was curious. Besides, it could be a threat.

He walked towards it. He wouldn’t get too close, just close enough to take a picture and tell Aja so she and…

Oh, kleb, he was going to have to tell Zadra that he snuck out.

He stepped on a twig. As it snapped loudly, he realized the orange formed the shape of a bipedal, two-armed life being.

It wasn’t the first time Krel had been electrocuted, but it was the first time he was knocked out because of it.

It had been a long time since Douxie had had to sleep cold, in threadbare clothes and sitting up, pressed against a wall. And never had he been alone; even as a street rat he’d had Archie. Then again, the last time he had been in this position, it had been on rough stones with space to stretch his legs and only the light of the stars, moon, and perhaps a distant home washing upon him.

He had awoken in a glass tube with an aching back and dressed in a thin white hospital gown and a pair of cuffs around his wrists with strange green flashing lights on them. Overwhelming green light lit the tube from multiple angles, and no matter how Douxie turned his head the light was always in his eyes. He’d tried to talk to the few, orange-suited figures walking around, but they had all ignored him. He wasn’t sure how long he had been here, but he had started to become hungry when the orange-suited figures had tossed a four-armed, blue-skinned person into the formerly empty tube that had been near Douxie. Douxie’s first instinct was to assume this person was a troll, but the person had been glowing blue before the green light of the adjacent tube had washed it out. Troll bodies didn’t glow.

Who or what was this person?

Krel came to with an aching shoulder. It felt like he had messed up on the wiring and –

And he’d been electrocuted by it. Or by the figure in the woods. They had been wearing orange, like the scientists of…

Krel opened his eyes to the green lighting of Area 49-B.

No.

No.

Oh, kleb, no!

Krel looked around. Had they gotten to Aja and Zadra? Or worse, Mama and Papa? What about –

Krel grit his teeth. If they had found the traitor, and Varvatos had told these humans roughly where to find the Mothership, then Krel would kill him, Aja’s pardon be klebbed by Seklos and Gaylen.

“So, you’re finally awake.”

Krel’s head snapped to the direction of the voice. There was a human, trapped in a similar cage to Krel’s. “Why are you here? You’re human.”

Well, was Douxie human like this person thought Douxie was? That was a question that both magic and mortals had been arguing about since long before Douxie’s birth. It seemed that the orange-suited figures thought that Douxie was too magic to be human, and they were the ones doing the trapping.

“I mean, I don’t exactly know where here is. You do?” Despite the fear coursing through his system, Douxie felt the smallest of smiles beginning to form on his lips. He wasn’t completely alone.

[holdmyowos]

(Mature) A Taste of the Night Switch Eren Yeager x reader TW: oral (reader receiving), unprotected sex, fingering, foul languageSwitch deprived virgin Eren x gender neutral reader (Mature Content) Guys I found this playlist it is very underrated. If you like Eren, check it out. https://youtu.be/zZ-LmC5_OjI Eren Yeager. Your hero. It wasn’t his fault he was a titan, but everyone treated him as a monster, even though he had shown his loyalty time and time again, serving the scouts. They kept him in a dungeon. It looked normal enough, but perhaps it was slightly titan proof. They feared him, but trapping him wasn’t going to make him more likely to help their cause. No doubt if he wanted to, he would easily have destroyed the place by turning into a titan. “You can’t be too careful,” people said, whenever talking about him. Some, the religious, crossed themselves in his presence or when talking about him. This imprisonment isn’t careful, it's stupidity. You always thought that. Eren was treated like an animal, only let out of his cage when they needed him for something, which, most of the time, was for fighting, and the other part was interrogation. He never had any leisure time, only staring at the walls of his cell, thinking of who knows what. You were often the person sent down to give him his meals, or supervise during baths, though you didn’t look at him. There were always one or two guards, too, staring him down as if he would do something any minute. He could, but you knew he wouldn’t. Just because a king has the power to kill innocent people, if they are a good ruler, they’ll try not to. When you gave him his food, which you were often told to do, since you were one of the few people not terrified by his existence. You always slipped notes in from his friends with the napkins, sometimes writing on the undersides yourself, telling him to bear it, keep up the good effort, what a great person he was. If he ever actually got to read any of it, you didn’t know, considering how the guards always watched. He always slipped them under his pillow case before the sentries could see the writing. Perhaps he pretended to sleep while actually reading them. After working for the scouts, being kind, everyone trusted you. This was his one night of release, where he could leave the cell and do anything he wanted. As a ‘gift’, they let him out for 8 hours. Something others would take for granted, thinking nothing of it. Night, not day. It made people much less likely to notice him. You were told to secretly guard him, report back if he did anything suspicious. You wouldn’t tell on him, no way, no matter what he did, but if they were giving you permission to go follow him on his one day to keep secrets, you were going to see what he was up to. The sun was down, and the sky was dark. You gave the signal. The guard unlocked the gate, and Eren stretched, and slowly walked out of the door, as if a house cat, seeing the door open for the first time, the possibility of the outdoors calling. From there, cautious, he set a fast pace of walking away. You followed him out of the barracks, and he seemed to have a place in mind of where he was going. You almost lost him a couple times, a combination of his fast walking and you trying to be stealthy. You had borrowed a plain scout cape with a hood on it, concealing you. You saw him duck into a bar, and you stopped your feet, disappointed, but not entirely surprised. Wasn’t he 19? Could he even drink? You shook your head. If you were in his situation, wouldn’t the first thing you’d do is go and get drunk? You walked in cautiously, if they hadn’t stopped him, they wouldn’t stop you. Everyone stopped to stare at you, and you looked around. Eren wasn’t there. How did he give you the slip? You turned back around, headed out, and bumped into someone. They were so close, they must have been an inch or two behind you as you were walking in. “Boo.” He said. You looked up, and it was Eren. He flipped your hood, revealing who you were. He pressed you against the gray stone wall as a couple walked into the

bar, their faces in shadows. He took his hand off your mouth, instead grabbed your hand, and pulled you with him. He started walking, slower this time, allowing you to easily keep up. “I knew they’d send someone after me. Pointless to try to hide. ” Instead of being angry, he replied, “I suppose I can’t put it past you for following orders. Well then, be my guest. Follow me all night. I’d much rather have you than another guard. Who knows, maybe we can do something fun.” He put an earbud in the ear opposite from you. Where did he possibly get that? What was it attached to? Was he communicating with someone? You realized that you had stopped walking, and he was looking back at you, gently pulling on your arm. “Come on, I don’t have all day,” he complained. You apologized, and kept up. You heard some loud music, the beat dropping hard, it was blaring, but quiet to you. You looked around, and saw nothing. It sounded far off. You realized that it must have been coming from his earbud. “You’re going to lose your hearing, like that,” you muttered quietly. “Maybe,” he hummed. “But I heal so quickly, I doubt it.” You walked a bit, and he stopped in front of a house. He opened it, and stepped aside for you to enter. Was this his? It was small, and looked like it had been recently cleaned, but no one lived here, since the place wasn’t decorated at all, and the only furniture was a dresser, a lamp, and a bed. There wasn’t even a fridge or television. He shut the door and locked it. Should that be a red flag? He pulls open the dresser, and you try and peer in, but he pushes you away. He takes a bottle of something, probably wine, out, and lays it on the top of the dresser. “You can have some, if you want. It doesn’t work on me, as much as I wish it did. You take the bottle in your hands, turning it over. Maybe later. “Come on, hurry up. We don’t have very much time. I only have a night off.” He pauses, his shirt halfway off. What is he doing? You can see his nipples. You look away, blush flooding your cheeks. You had just wanted to talk, but if he wanted to do this instead, could you say no? You had never thought of him in a sexual way, but now that you looked, probably the only thing he could do in that cell was exercise, push ups and sit-ups. It showed on his body. His dark hair was messy and long, no one had bothered to help him with it. It wasn’t too bad, though. Under his eyes, lines showing that he had recently been in titan form. Every second, they faded a little bit more. In a couple hours, they’d be gone. His eyes were halfway closed, and you could tell he was thinking bad thoughts. He sighed, a breathy, needy sound. The noise made its way down to your core, and you were sure your cheeks were flaming. He sat you down on the bed. “You were the only one that was kind to me, this whole time I'd been there. Even my friends can't visit me. Please, let me return the favor. If not, I’ll just take matters into my own hands.” His hand traveled up your leg, but you flinched away from him. His eyes hardened, disappointed. “Fine, be like that. But if you don’t want me, then have the decency to act like it. Yes or no, I’m still having a good time tonight.” You looked down at his crotch, if he was this horny, then, how long had he been planning this? Did he know you liked him that much? You felt your underwear was no longer dry. “No, don’t worry about me. I can take care of myself later. I just want to taste you. Eat you. Please, let me. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had to resist grabbing your wrist and keeping you in the cell with me. But I couldn't do that. It’d put you in danger, since you would be with me. It has to be a secret. You are my candle in the darkness.” On his knees, he has fully taken off his shirt, and you can’t help but stare. He grabs your hips. “Please, I need you.” You cracked. “Of course, I’d do anything for you. I’m just surprised you’d want to please me instead of yourself.” The words slipped out of your mouth. “Don’t think so lowly of me.” He growled. “I recently. Turned 19. A whole year being

legal, and I wasn’t able to do anything that whole damn time. I was so desperate for someone.” He slid down your bottoms and gently took off your underwear. He thrust a finger in your hole and you cried out. "S-sorry. I… haven't done this before." You guided his fingers, and he had you feeling good in no time. He seemed so desperate to learn, to make you feel better. You could feel that you were close. He must have seen something on your face that gave it away, or perhaps it was the way you squeezed around his fingers when they slid out. He placed his mouth between your thighs, and you felt his hot breath hit you. He was staring, a starved man waiting for the prayer to be over, to finally be allowed a meal. You held the back of his head and pushed him towards you. He didn't hesitate, he stuck out his tongue and went at it like a pro. You couldn't help the noises that came out of your mouth. Even better, he really seemed to be genuinely enjoying it too. When you came, he gulped it down. He stayed there, at your knees, staring up at you, as if wanting more. "Want to… actually… do it?" You put the offer out there. "If you really want. Are you sure? I might not be able to help myself-“ you cut him off. “Yes, please, I want you. You’re my idol, Eren. You don't know how much you mean to me.” He pushed you into the bed and suffocated you with his kisses. You had never dreamed you’d end up like this with such an amazing person. He let out a couple of loud huffs as you sat on his lap, slowly taking him in. “Damn, I’m already- fuck, I don’t think we should do this. I might spend my whole night like this uhf.” His words were stopped as you rocked gently on him. “I’m warning you, if you don’t get off right now, I’m going to do something that’s your fault.” You just kept doing it, enjoying him underneath you. He was probably a virgin, never having the chance of doing stuff before. However, he was obviously well educated. “Go ahead, I don’t mind.” He brought his face up to your ear, and you felt his body rubbing against you. He huffed in your ear, and slowly fell still under you, and let out a shameless moan in your ear as he released, trembling. He clutched you tight, knocking your breath out, and gently lessening his pressure on you until he was hugging you gently. “That was so fast. I wasn’t expecting that. I have all night. I wonder how many times you can make me do that. I've never felt like that before, never done that, but you felt so good. I need more, baby.” Your hands were all over each other, grabbing, needy. Knowing you might not be allowed again, perhaps ever. Every second you were together, you got wetter, everything he did, sexy. He would never have a supervised bath that you weren’t staring at ever again. He spent most of the night shoving you into the mattress, fucking you from all the positions you wanted to try. In total, he made you cum four times, and he did at least twice that many. You were drained, but happy, when the sun rose, and he walked back into the barracks. You followed about five minutes later. “So, how was he?” Your supervisor whispered to you later in the day, after allowing you time to rest. “He didn’t do anything I wouldn’t approve of, sir.” You answered truthfully. “Well, I’ll be damned. Who knew? Perhaps we should give him more free time after all.” #erenxreader

legal, and I wasn’t able to do anything that whole damn time. I was so desperate for someone.” He slid down your bottoms and gently took off your underwear. He thrust a finger in your hole and you cried out. "S-sorry. I… haven't done this before." You guided his fingers, and he had you feeling good in no time. He seemed so desperate to learn, to make you feel better. You could feel that you were close. He must have seen something on your face that gave it away, or perhaps it was the way you squeezed around his fingers when they slid out. He placed his mouth between your thighs, and you felt his hot breath hit you. He was staring, a starved man waiting for the prayer to be over, to finally be allowed a meal. You held the back of his head and pushed him towards you. He didn't hesitate, he stuck out his tongue and went at it like a pro. You couldn't help the noises that came out of your mouth. Even better, he really seemed to be genuinely enjoying it too. When you came, he gulped it down. He stayed there, at your knees, staring up at you, as if wanting more. "Want to… actually… do it?" You put the offer out there. "If you really want. Are you sure? I might not be able to help myself-“ you cut him off. “Yes, please, I want you. You’re my idol, Eren. You don't know how much you mean to me.” He pushed you into the bed and suffocated you with his kisses. You had never dreamed you’d end up like this with such an amazing person. He let out a couple of loud huffs as you sat on his lap, slowly taking him in. “Damn, I’m already- fuck, I don’t think we should do this. I might spend my whole night like this uhf.” His words were stopped as you rocked gently on him. “I’m warning you, if you don’t get off right now, I’m going to do something that’s your fault.” You just kept doing it, enjoying him underneath you. He was probably a virgin, never having the chance of doing stuff before. However, he was obviously well educated. “Go ahead, I don’t mind.” He brought his face up to your ear, and you felt his body rubbing against you. He huffed in your ear, and slowly fell still under you, and let out a shameless moan in your ear as he released, trembling. He clutched you tight, knocking your breath out, and gently lessening his pressure on you until he was hugging you gently. “That was so fast. I wasn’t expecting that. I have all night. I wonder how many times you can make me do that. I've never felt like that before, never done that, but you felt so good. I need more, baby.” Your hands were all over each other, grabbing, needy. Knowing you might not be allowed again, perhaps ever. Every second you were together, you got wetter, everything he did, sexy. He would never have a supervised bath that you weren’t staring at ever again. He spent most of the night shoving you into the mattress, fucking you from all the positions you wanted to try. In total, he made you cum four times, and he did at least twice that many. You were drained, but happy, when the sun rose, and he walked back into the barracks. You followed about five minutes later. “So, how was he?” Your supervisor whispered to you later in the day, after allowing you time to rest. “He didn’t do anything I wouldn’t approve of, sir.” You answered truthfully. “Well, I’ll be damned. Who knew? Perhaps we should give him more free time after all.” #erenxreader#erenyeager

#erenjaeger

#aot

#smut

#erenyaeger

#erenyeager

#aotsmut

#anime

#aotxreader

#erenxreader

[the-goddessfighter]

[ Alien vs Predator Batarou AU - Part 1 ]

by: Little1993lamb

for: Temperans-sama / @the-goddessfighter Word count: 7252 Warning: Background characters' death. Some violence and gore mentions, but not too explicit.

Not exactly a fanfic but more of a long scenario AU headcanon. Caution for bad English and very limited vocabulary as I'm not native English speaker and still not fluent enough, OOC characterizations, and lots of inaccurate concepts compared from the movie plotline as this headcanon is just loosely inspired by it, so please forgive me if this not so good I'm so sorry 🙇💦

----------------------------

This AU headcanon was based on my weird "Alien vs Predator" movie-like dream I had weeks ago. But for this AU, the story has slightly modificated to fit Batarou situation:

• Badd as a Spaceman, working for the extraterrestrial research scientists organization, unexpectedly met Garou in one of his mission.

• Garou as one of the Yautja/Predator warriors, aiding Badd on fighting against the Xenomorphs Aliens.

The other headcanon concepts, like Garou's concept designs for the AU, are written on the notes at the end of story below.

As I promised before, this is my present for you to begin the year 2021, Temperans-sama (and of course also everyone in the fandom). I hope you enjoyed this AU headcanon!

Let's get started! 😊😉👌💖

-----------------------------

Badd was working for Space and Extraterrestrial Research Organization as their Spaceman. Not as the researcher because he hates to work in a lab, he rather to do some actions in the field or outdoor works. There were several divisions for Spacemen jobs in the Organization, but what Badd specialized was the ones who could do fighting or combat. Basically like security guard to ensure the safety of Research Organization members. Sometimes he also being included in a rescue team when there was something life-threatening emergency situation happens.

One day, he got a mission along with his other coworkers in rescue team to save their crewmates, who previously were sent to investigate an unknown spaceship that was approaching Earth's orbit but then they were trapped in there.

Just after arriving on the ship and navigating their crewmates' location, they found a bunch of terrifying monstrous Xenomorph aliens attacking them. Battle was ensued, many of them died because they weren't expected these creatures' presence in the spaceship. None of the hostages crewmates informed them because turned out either they were already dead or incapable to send complete information to the base.

In the middle of fighting inside an alien spaceship, Badd finally met one of the hostage crewmates who is also one of his bestfriend and he joined to fight along with his friend against the creatures.

At the end of exhausting battle, Badd and that one friend survived on escaping from the ship along with some few other crewmates. When Badd asked him on a private room, "Why didn't you send help request more sooner?", the friend just answered, "Because I was waiting for this moment".

Badd saw his friend's appearance changing into an unknown stranger figure: a spiky white haired humanoid alien with heavily intricate armored body. Surprisingly, he is not so hideous like the other alien creatures but still has an otherworldly figure.

Badd was stunned when the stranger alien explained his intention using some language translator device on his helmet armor,

"Initially, my warrior troops were gonna invade your precious Earth but unexpectedly our spaceship was infested by those creatures you've seen before. I'm the Leader and the only survivor during the ambush and that's when your naive crewmates coming to our already wrecked ship. They sent SOS signal to your base when they were under attack. Because I want a chance for long-term survival, I borrowed your dead friend's appearance by shapeshifted as him".

He continued, "Luckily, you found me and think of me as your friend! I must gained your trust by playing along as your crewmate the whole time so I could hop into your ship together with you, thus fulfilling my intention to invade the Earth. Thanks for bringing me along, tiny human..".

The alien warrior ended his speech with a growling voice into the still stunned Badd's ear. Then he reached on his armor helmet mask and slowly took them off, revealing the true face of him:

A humanoid monster-like face with wide ridged forehead, intimidating-looked narrow hollowed eyes in which have round big golden-coloured irises, no nose, has these huge mandibles complete with two sets of long pointed tusks on them, and when they opened a bit Badd could see rows of sharp teeth inside. This alien warrior also has swept-back long spiky white hair, it was the most eye-catching feature on him.

Realizing Badd was observing his unmasked face, the white-haired alien suddenly snarled by opened his mandibles up in front of Badd's face to scare him. He wanted to test if this human would weirded out or cowering in fear from seeing his real appearance or not. But Badd only jolted back in reflex from getting surprised, without any hints of fear detected in his eyes. "You.. aren't scared by me?"

Badd was taken aback by the question, "Huh? Nah. I've seen much worse and it wasn't you, obviously".

"Not for a little bit? Nothing at all?", the alien didn't convinced by Badd's statement at all.

"Yep. 'Sides, I rather looked at your face than have to witness those Lovecraftian abominable creatures in that spaceship before. Hey what are you trying to do, by the way, huhh??", Badd could swears this white-haired alien just wanted to make fun of him. 

The white-haired alien just humming and nodding to himself, "Hmm.. You're indeed an interesting one.", as he placed his hand under his chin and rubbing it, it seems like he found some amusement in Badd.

Although he was indeed caught off-guard by the surprise snarl, Badd didn't afraid of him on a slightest, instead he actually was mesmerized by the alien's charm. Badd blurted out, "Are you gonna eat me?".

The white-haired alien just giving a funny look for a second and then grinning widely after hearing that silly question, showing all of his sharp teeth and fangs inside his mandibles, "No, not yet. Not until I know you better..", a chuckling sounds like a cat's purr was heard from him as he caressed the human's soft cheek with his long claws.

Badd frowned on what the alien had said, 'So in the end he will devours me if I'm not useful anymore?'. He didn't wanna think what he should explain to Zenko when the time has come.

When Badd said he didn't afraid to die, it doesn't mean he wanted to leave his beloved little sister alone, not when she hasn't finished her education in college and reaching her dream! Also, sure as hell not by being eaten by this strange alien!

Seeing Badd was slightly affected by the threatening words, he retreated his hand back. "Well I'm just joking, I never and wont eat humans, don't worry. They make a good prey but totally not good for consumption at all". Then he laughed loudly at Badd's dumb-strucked face. Badd started to feel pissed off: they both had just met and this alien already have the guts for teasing him twice??

The laughing finally ceased, "I think we should cooperating from now on. What is your name, little human?", the alien curiously asked, those bright yellow irises staring deep into Badd's rich dark chocolate eyes, searching for any hints of fear emotions but instead found some fire ablaze in them.

"Badd. My name's Badd, just remember whose human who had saved your sorry ass", he answered while removing the clawed hand that caressed his cheek, boldly swatting it away from him.

The charming white-haired alien quickly caught Badd's hand and clasped it with his palm, "Ooh a feisty one! Seems like I was right for choosing to fight along with you minutes ago, you're quite strong for a mere human. I like that. And you can call me 'Garou'. Nice to meet you, Badd..".

From the corner of his eye, Badd saw 'Garou' took something from his pocket. It was a small piece of the Xenomorph's sliced finger. He squished it a bit until the green-ish blood residue leaked out from the cut, then slowly moved it closer towards Badd's face.

"Stay still, Badd", the warrior instructed him.

"WHOAA NONO NO NO, GET IT AWAY FROM MY FACE!!", the young spaceman tried to swat that finger thing from Garou's hand and moved away as far as possible, refusing Garou's request.

"I said stay still! Calm down it's just a quick little brush", Garou insisted as he keeps holding Badd's hand to prevent Badd from swatting and moving too much.

The moment Badd's forehead being brushed by the blood as Garou carved a symbol on him, his skin sizzled from the contact of corrosive acid fluid and those left red scratched marks as the result.

"OUCH OW THAT HURTS! IT BURNED MY SKIN, JACKASS!!", Badd shouted then grimaced at the burned sensation on his forehead, he let out pained moaning. "Uuh.. What's that for?"

"I'm 'marking' you. You fight along with me, you even managed to kill those creatures despite being a human. Therefore, you earned my respect to bear an honourable mark from me," Garou smiled proudly at Badd, genuinely happy to find such a strong fierce human at the first meeting.

Badd didn't know how he should reacted at the explanation, but after seeing Garou's genuine proud expression he thought maybe it was actually a very rare honourable thing to be given outside his clan. From the spaceship window glass reflection, Badd could see the fresh carved scratched-like mark. He was admiring how neat the mark Garou has carved onto his forehead. An honour mark.

"Umm.. Honestly I didn't expected it, but.. Thank you, I guess?", Badd muttered while caressing his freshly marked skin.

"You're welcome, tiny human. So, right now we are heading towards your precious Earth, right? Do you have any spare room in your house for me, hmm?", Garou grinning confidenty, expecting for more interesting things from Badd after they live together.

Badd felt an impending huge migrane forming in his head, as well as the sudden urge to facepalm so hard, "... Goddamnit."

This would changed his normal daily life.

----------------------------

As the consequence of accidentally helping Garou, Badd must hide his existence from the Research Organization. So, after arrived back to the Earth, Badd must gives false-report for the base that their rescue mission was failed and only a few of team members were survived.

During that time, Garou made himself invisible but also could shapeshift into anyone for more advanced stealth tactics. Badd allowed Garou to live temporarily in his house, as long as Garou wont harming his beloved little sister Zenko and his cute cats.

At first, Garou forgot to shift into his human form in front of Zenko when Badd sneakily brought him into his house at late night. He didn't know Zenko was still awake at that hour because she was waiting for his comeback.

Badd wanted to smack himself after noticed Garou's big mistake, but after staring intensely at Garou for a full minute, Zenko just nonchalantly said,

"So you've got back from the space and you're bringing an alien boyfriend home? Hmm.. Not bad. Nice choice by the way, I always know your type, big bro", and she gives Badd thumbs up of approval.

Garou takes a liking on Zenko's bravery, maybe he could get along with her more easier later. On the other hand, despite his attempt at correcting Zenko that Garou isn't his alien boyfriend (yet), it makes Badd feels relieved that his little sister doesn't really mind of him bringing an extraterrestrial being as a new roommate in their house.

Garou spending most of his time at Badd's home by trying to learn human's behaviour and any other knickknack Earth-y things out of curiousity, that he slowly forgetting his original intentions and getting more interested on building a newfound relationship with Badd.

Badd also slowly growing fond of this charming alien, especially when Garou becomes more protective to him and his family, not to mention Garou actually learning humanity better than actual human. He was actually surprised that Garou had decided to develop a new "adaptive" form, in which a mix between his real form and human form, to help him communicate better with Badd while still maintaining most of his real appearance. Especially when it requires him speaking by human language more fluently.

Sometimes when Badd wasn't working or taking a day-off, they would spending time together at home and exchanged stories of their life. After Badd promised Garou that he wont tell any information to the higher up in the Organization, Garou explaining his life as a Warrior from his own planet, the secret history behind the invasion mission toward Earth and the super advanced technologies they owned compared with what human have currently.

It's kinda fun to have someone from another world to talk casually with, since Garou himself didn't have many close friends in his own troops. Not even to the old Elder warrior, Bang, who Garou regards as his adoptive father and his former trainer.

In return, Badd telling Garou about his favorite things, his childhood stories, his family including his late parents, everything about Zenko as he adores her so much, also about the reason why he took such adventurous yet dangerous job as Spaceman for the Research Organization. If Garou ever curious for some Earth-y stuff that he still didn't understand (as he called those things "outdated ancient stuff"), Badd will also explaining about them to him.

On special occasion, Badd would brings Garou and Zenko out to go shopping together or having fun on amusement park. He thinks it's good idea to take Garou with him and introducing many fun things humans usually do in daily life. It feels good to have a sense of having a full family again after he lost his own parents years ago. Besides, seeing how adorable Garou trying to enjoy human's entertaintments or bonding with Zenko was amusing.

To blending himself in public when they're going outside together, Garou usually shifted onto his "human-persona" so he wont attracts unwanted attention from people. But when he's around Badd's house, Garou just shifted back to his original form or his adaptive form since Badd loves it so much and wants Garou to be comfortable as himself at home.

Fortunately, it seems Badd's neighbourhood was inhabited by chill people. They never questioned further or suspicious about who Garou really is, especially after Zenko purposely introduced him as "her big brother's new boyfriend who just moved in from another city". Badd immediately blushed or flustered everytime they mentioned his "handsome boyfriend", as they also greet Garou warmly and saying that Badd was so lucky to have this gorgeous man as his lover.

Garou persistently asking Badd what is this "boyfriend" supposed to meant and why did Badd always deflecting his genuine questions while being all bright red faced with higher heart rate. Despite never got the answer, Garou likes to tease the cute little spaceman that he adores so much.

-----------------------------

After staying on Earth for months in Badd's home, Garou started to questioning himself.

Garou wondered if his original mission is really worthy or not, because in truth what he had said to Badd about the reason why he comes to Earth is not entirely true.

The real story was, Garou was just wanna visit the Earth for sportmanship and training himself to become the best hunter warrior. He was going to prove the Elites that he is worthy enough to get more superior rank that the one he currently is. That's why he also brought the Young Blood packs along with him to train them once they arrived on the Earth.

Until that accident happened because of a miscalculation: the Xenomorph alien larvaes that supposed to be used on humans, the supposed hosts, for initiation and hunting ritual were infesting his packs when they were still in the middle of their journey towards the Earth. Garou's plan was destroyed spectacularly, he lost all his pack members before he reached their destination. At least on the better side, because of that accident he could meet Badd along the way, so it feels not too bad.

On the other hand for personal fulfillment, he wanted to seek different challenges in another planets to polish his hunting skills and adding new experiences. So, the invasion plan was actually just his secondary mission, in fact it was actually just a bluffing. But it sounds like a more cooler way to threatened Badd back then. 

Not that he ever cares about human civilization and the entire human population in Earth, as he remains indifferent for them and regards them as mere weak prey for hunting sport. But he found out this one particular human is very fascinating to him: Badd. The more he interacted with Badd, the more he gets attached.

Not to mention lately Garou sensed something wrong with himself that only occured everytime they spend time or hanging out together, like there's warm feeling in his chest or sudden protective instinct whenever he is near Badd.

And while Garou considers humans are ugly, for some unknown reason he thinks Badd, in human's expressive language, is "beautiful". Inside his fierce hot-headed appearance, Badd has the kindness and all the sweet personality package in his heart. Which is total opposite with Garou, who is ruthless and cunning. Those contrasts has really melted Garou's own cold heart, surprised that he could managed to find such special human being.

Badd was supposed to be his prey, not a companion. If only Badd were born as the same kind like him, without doubt Garou was 100% sure Badd would be a perfect Warrior partner to fight along with, as he had already seen Badd's remarkable strength as a human. Such the best dream-like scenario ever that will never happens to them, but still very good 'what-if' situation.

The moment Garou saw Badd could kill the Xenomorph aliens alongside him in a combat and capable to defend himself, he respects Badd so much. It made Garou wanted to initiate Badd as one of his kind, a honourable strong Warrior. Or taking Badd with him to train as his personal human Apprentice.

For his bravery and incredible fighting abilities, Garou presented Badd a gift as a sign of respect for him. It was one of his exotic Yautja warrior's weapon collections that he managed to bring along in last expedition: an unbreakable metal bat.

Garou thinks it suited Badd's brawler fighting style, and because the bat made from special metal from his planet it can't be destroyed with anything on Earth. Except if it was smeared with corrosive acidic Xenomorph alien's blood, it would slightly melt. Whoopsie. But anyways, still an honourable thoughtful gift! Garou hopes he can witness the day Badd will using the metal bat in a combat.

Maybe it's not really bad he prolonged his stay on Earth for the sake of Badd and Zenko, although just for a bit. Garou wanted to have more "connection" with Badd before he continued the original plan. He wanted to know more about this special human, always being near him and protected him.

At least before the old man Bang realizing Garou has been missing for awhile after last Xenomorph attack and doing some search party for him by sending reinforcement army towards the Earth. 

------------------------------

At the same time on his workplace at the Research Organization, Badd was contemplating his life decision.

Badd was thinking why should he still insisted to hide Garou's existence? He could just secretly reported the truth to the Organization behind his back, handed him to them as new research subject and thus ended the Earth's next possible threat.

But that's so wrong!

Just thinking about Garou being treated as a test subject like some lab guinea pig made Badd's blood boil. Not that they can ever catch Garou and managed to survive from him, though, as he knows how strong Garou is. Surely Garou is an extra-terresterial being, but in reality he's not so different from human. There's also alot things that separated him from another Alien species he had encountered before.

Garou has a good heart and moral despite being an asshole sometimes. He's super intelligent and quick to learning something new, willing to cooperate once they're bonded over mutually trust.

Speaking of morality, Garou has better grasp of humanity than most people. Although he is a ruthless warrior, he wont bringing harm to those who are already weak or sickly people, unarmed opponents, childrens, or females especially the pregnant ones. Those are basically the Yautja Clans' Warrior Rules, as they only do fair fights. Badd thinks Garou's own kind are very cultured people, that's cool.

One thing Badd didn't expect before was the fact Garou is kind of "nerdy guy". He thought Garou was a ruthless jock-type warrior who only likes hunting or chaotic things, but in reality he is just the biggest nerd Badd ever known. Garou has always been curious about anything he deemed interesting enough, like human's lifestyle, social classes, education, or even the cuisine. Currently Garou is obsessed with martial arts and his homemade food, also when they're going out together he always asked for buying some fast food preferably with Cola for the drink. Truly an example of alien with unique taste.

The more Garou learned from Badd and observing people around them, the more he understand what human and their "humanity" is, both good side and bad side. Garou said he considered himself on grey area. But he would try to be on the good side, just for Badd.

About Garou's appearance, Badd never got scared of Garou's real form. In fact, he finds Garou in his full warrior armory looks charming and kinda handsome. He had seen Garou in the middle of daily training to sharpen his instincts during his stay at home, surely Garou got a lots of cool fighting techniques and movements, both bare-handed or with weaponry. Truly showing a professional experienced Warrior skills. Or when Garou shifted into the adaptive form so he can spar with Badd more comfortably without really hurting him.

Not to mention his unusually bright golden irises when Garou stares intensely at him, the way Garou tilted his chin up with those long slender clawed hand, that teasing smug grin with those sharp teeth show-off, and those surprisingly soft slicked back spiky white hair..

Yeaah okay, Zenko was totally right about him being into monsters. Fortunately to Badd, she wont and never judges his taste on men.

And Garou is actually a very good friend.. Or maybe more, if only his feeling ever reciprocated. Badd wondered if he could asks Garou to just stay forever on Earth together with him.. 

------------------------------

Badd was just coming home early in the afternoon from the work, as he only finishing yesterday's home paperworks and delivering it to the office. Time to get some rest after working the whole night filling the mountain pile of papers, Zenko still in school at this hour anyways so he would take a brief nap before picking her up.

Strangely, the house was too quiet. He usually hear some noises from across the room, whether it was Garou watching some tv programs or news or movies, or sneaking around the kitchen as he attempted to raid Badd's fridge contents (nowadays he often found out all the meat stocks or even any of homecooking leftovers in his fridge vanished thanks to Garou's huge appetite).

Badd tried to calling for Garou and checking on his room upstairs but there still no sign of him. He guessed maybe Garou went to their sparring place in the woods, training by himself to polish his hunting skill. Or maybe Garou was lurking on city downtown again?

Badd wished it was the former, he doesn't want Garou to make some trouble with humans when Badd was not with him. Even if Garou indeed goes to town he hoped he just do sightseeing or observing people from afar. Whatever, Badd will take a nap while waiting for Garou.

Just as Badd started to sleep, he heard the bedroom window clicked open suddenly. He immediately jumped out of the bed and grabbing his metal bat, ready to whack anyone who dared to sneak into his house like this. Nothing on sight, though, until some invicible force putting down Badd's metal bat and revealing it was Garou in his "adaptive" form, who just deactivated his invisibility cloak after entering his room from the window.

"Yo Badd!", he grinned widely, happy for successfully surprising Badd again. 

"Oh for fuck's sake Garou, please just use the front door! I already gave you my spare key, right? What if someone sees you and thinks you're a robber- Forget that, you were in invisible mode nobody could ever see you anyways, Mr. Ninja Warrior". Badd flomped down on the bed again, feeling ridiculously tired by Garou's antic yet relieved that his favorite alien is back. "Where did you go?"

Garou sets his knapsack down while explaining his disappearance, "I was so bored doing nothing in your house and my instincts will slowly dulled if I don't practice my routines, so I sneak out to nearby forest hoping to get some good prey for hunting practice. But it seems like Earth's creatures are not challenging enough to become my prey. It's either too small, too tame, too weak, or too pitiful it can't satisfy my hunting urge".

Garou sat beside Badd on the bed and stared at him, "Why can't I fight your people? It would makes alot things more interesting..", he whispered the last sentence with a naughty shit-eating grin on his face.

Badd propped himself up from the bed to grab Garou's arm and pointing his index finger in front of Garou's face, "No, I wont allowed you to do that! No hunting on humans, not on my watch. If you want some fight you can spar with me like what we always do. I'll take you on in a fair fight. Was that still not enough?". Was I'm not enough for you, Badd left it unsaid. He frowned at the though of Garou not satisfied with his effort.

"Ugh, what a let down, I would love to add human skulls on my trophy room when I get back to my planet soon. But your wish is my command, Badd. I promise not doing that for your sake", Garou huffed and rolled his eyes, but his tone softened. "About our sparring, while yes we can still spar with eachother, it doesn't fullfil my hunger for hunt. That's different", he shifted closer to Badd and gazing deeply into his rich dark chocolate eyes.

He continued, "You're not a prey anymore and I hate to see you getting hurt everytime I went overboard in our fights. You're my human companion, I only wish to protect you. But thank you for letting me spar with you every week, it was really fun", Garou touched Badd's forehead, where an initiation mark as fellow Warrior was given by him after their first encounter. Then slowly he put his clawed hand on Badd's cheek, caressing the soft skin gently while looking at Badd with much tenderness.

Badd just averted his eyes from Garou's uncharacteristically tender gaze, face heating from blushing too much as his heart-rate spiked. Of course Garou would know he was flustered by his touching words, he could see it by his vision, by the way. Not that Badd hated to be treated like this, in fact he felt so happy that Garou considered him as a human companion, a "someone special" for Garou.

"Umm yeah you're welcome, then.. Don't worry I know you will never really hurt me. Besides, I'm a tough guy, y'know? I can totally revive through fighting spirit and have another go with you", Badd placed his own hand on top of Garou's, letting the charming alien caress his face more. It's very comforting he loves it when Garou showing some rare affection to him.

They enjoyed the heartwarming moment until suddenly Garou moved away from Badd, "Oh I just remember something! Wait here", he let go his touch on Badd as he rushed to get his knapsack on the floor, picking its content and shoved it in front of Badd's face. "Here I got this for you, accept it!".

It was a flower bouquet. A simple makeshift one, but what made Badd astounished was Garou's choice of flowers: all of them were rare exotic flowers, which only grows on mountain or on the deepest part in forest. All of the flowers were wrapped by a wide green leaf as replacement for plastic wrap ('is that a banana leaf??'), and tied together by a thin rope.

"Wow.. Thanks, Garou, these are very pretty ones", Badd carefully took the beautiful bouquet from Garou's hand, still mesmerized by the exotic colourful flowers. He cradled it close on his chest. "Where and how the hell you get these flowers? I didn't even know that they grow or ever existed around our sparring place??"

Garou scratched his head, "After I got bored by pitiful failed attempt of hunting and start heading back to your house, I saw one kind of wild flower plant growing at hidden small valley near our sparring place. I though you would like it so I took some then continued searching for more wild flowers in the middle of forest until on the top of hills. Worth it for a passing time aside from going hunting", he shrugged like it was no big deal.

"But why?? What's the real reason?", Badd was honestly baffled by Garou's whole effort to flatter him.

"I saw from TV or on the street when we were going outside that you humans like to giving and receiving flower present as, what is that, "courting attempt"? Also you always go 'Aww that was so sweet~" or swooning like a fool everytime you and Zenko watched that scenes in some sappy drama movies. I don't understand why humans feel an enjoyment from getting a reproductive part of plant. Is that something meaningful behind that?", Garou raised his non-existed eyebrows in honest wonderment.

Badd tried to answer him, "Well.. It was--".

Garou continued his rants, effectively cutting Badd's explanation, "On my planet everyone courting their companion with a head or remnants of deadly dangerous prey, showing how great their hunting skills are. The more kill count the better. While your people giving a flower bouquet, a plant, really? You humans are just weird", he was shaking his head.

"So.. You didn't deny that you were courting me, right? You realized what I like and tried to do it for me even though you didn't understand the meaning of it, so that you can make me happy. Was that true, Garou..?", Badd slowly connecting the dots and stated the conclusion to Garou. He clutched the flower bouquet tighter, as once again he feels warmth in his heart. Not expecting the ruthless alien warrior has a soft spot.

So this meant his feeling is reciprocated? Garou feels the same as him? 

"What-- I'm-- Okay, you're right I was! There you have it now. Happy? Damn, this still weird to say..", Garou awkwardly confessed to Badd, not sure what should he says next. If he were in human form at that time, Badd was sure he was flustered heavily.

"Mmhm..", Badd hummed in agreement, as he placed the pretty flower bouquet on the nightstand carefully. Then Badd clung his arms around Garou's neck and pulling him down together with him on the bed, so now Garou was on top of Badd.

"Whoaa what are you doing?!", Garou propped on his elbows not to crush Badd directly with his weight. He wanted to protest but stopped himself when he saw Badd smiling softly full of fondness at him.

From very close distance, Garou could see how Badd's eyes are twinkling and the pinkish blush on his cheeks made Badd looked more prettier than usual. Those are something that made Garou was at lost of words when he tried to describe how beautiful this human is. His own companion.

Without saying anything, Badd released his hold around Garou's neck. He was caressing Garou's jaws and then cupping his face gently, before pulling Garou down towards him to peck his forehead. Looking briefly at Garou's softened eyes, Badd smiling again then finally kissing his lips. It was a light kiss but also a lingering one.

After a minute that feels like eternity, Garou released himself from the kiss and asking Badd in a soft whisper, "What was that for?". Not with the tone of rejection but instead searching for confirmation.

Beside the "human's courting", Garou also had seen this kind of acts on TV dramas or in real life, where a couple of "lovers" touching their lips onto eachother's for the purpose of showing their affection. So, he wanted to know if Badd was also meant it.

"Do y'know, when someone accepting the other's courting attempt, they would hug or kiss them. To show how much they loved and appreciated the other. I was doing the same to you, Garou.. You don't understand how long I was waiting for this moment", the raven-haired human answered while caressing Garou's face, the adoring smile still haven't leaving his face.

"Huh, I guess this proved what Zenko told me weeks ago was right, you have the hots for monster guy", Garou was smirking in victory, glad he was the one who captured Badd's heart.

"Don't be such a bighead, you silly alien warrior", chuckled Badd while he ruffled Garou's spiky hair. "You were the one who fell so hard on me, as far as making me your companion, swore to protect me in the name of warrior honour and do the whole 'weird human courting' for me. While noone ever dared to do the same as you. Admit it, you're a dork".

"What did you say?! A dork?? How dare you--", Garou offended complaint was halted as he processed Badd's entire words. "Wait, you said noone ever trying to court you before? Why? You seems more than average people in appearance or attitude", he showed pure confused look to Badd.

Badd gladly took Garou's appreciation remark before answering, "Have you seen my temper? Or listening on my way of speech? Or knowing my habit on ditching someone for Zenko if I'm not very interested in them? Nobody could handle that, Garou. Maybe except you, you're the only one who ever wanted me..", he pulled Garou down again for more soft kisses.

Garou hummed in their kiss, "Hmm, then it was their loss. For not considering you an amazing person". He swept the wild strands of Badd's hair away from his forehead, peppering kisses on it gently. Garou has learned it from Badd and now he tried to do the same for him.

"Aww thank you, Garou. Besides, I like my man being tall, strong, dangerous, loyal, and have lots of adorable soft spots behind the whole cocky bravado", Badd purred in bliss from Garou's affection.

"Says the one who said he hates skyscraper-like tall man. Which was the truth, hmm, Short-stack?", Garou lifted one of his non-existed eyebrow in amusement. He likes to tease Badd with that endearment term.

"Sssh it was for the public, lemme have my preference in secret. And don't call me a Short-stack, say that once more I'll bash your head using your metal bat gift!", he pushed Garou aside then hit his sternum hard enough before closing his eyes and snuggling his head on Garou's chest.

Garou just let himself being pushed aside while chuckling, "Whoa okay Short-stack, I wont call you with that name again-- Badd?", he found his companion looked sleepy.

"Mmmh lemme take a nap for awhile, there's still 2 more hours before I have to pick Zenko up at her school. Please staaayyy with meee..", Badd slurred the last line from sleepiness, he curled his body against Garou's own big body, snuggled even more closer to him.

Garou just taking Badd into his embrace, made sure his human companion feels comfortable in his sleep. He caressed Badd's soft silky raven hair, "So, are we 'boyfriends' now?".

"Whut are you talkin' 'bout? I already introduced ya as mah 'boyfriend' to our neighbours, right? Always has been..", Badd tried to answer despite getting more sleepier.

"Oh right", Garou nodded at the memory. So Badd was really meant it that way? Glad to know.

Badd purring at Garou's caresses on his head, "Mmhm.. Love ya, Garou". After the unconsciously big declaration of love, he finally went to sleep, peaceful smile still plastered on his beautiful face.

Garou was at lost on words again. He heard the Love word and his mind just exploded. Badd loves him. The human loves him, an extraterrestrial being.

Thinking about it again, is that even allowed? To love someone from different world and different species? He wasn't sure if the Warrior code would let him taking a human as anything else outside as a prey, an apprentice, or a companion.

Honestly this is the first time Garou received a romantic love, not a friendly love or familial love. Because as a warrior who dedicated himself to be the best hunter, romance is not even listed on his priority list. He can't say for other fellow Elites who seek love interests by charmed them with their hunting abilities, but for himself Garou doesn't even interested on that thing back then.

But with Badd? How can he rejects his love, not when this special kind of human is compassionate, wonderful and not to mention worthy of his full respect. Badd is also the only human who doesn't cower in fear in front of him at their first meeting. Even as far telling him that he adores his soft side.

Him, a ruthless hunter, a "monster", was loved by a kindhearted human.

"... I love you, too, Badd."

Garou whispered it softly into Badd's ear, he embraced the sleeping boyfriend's body tighter before following him into the dreamland.

Both were smiling in their sleep.

-----------------------------

-Few months later-

There was another new exploration mission from the Research Organization to obtain alien egg or larvae samples from the same wrecked spaceship on the previous expedition, so they could studying and observing the newfound alien species.

The newest mission was successful as the researchers team bringing the samples with them and be able to come back with minimal casualty. Thus Badd didn't need to join because he is working in rescue team.

At first week, everything was okay according to the plan. It seems the autopsy of larvae samples was successful as the Organization researchers have gotten some new informations from it.

Until an unexpected accidents occured during the second week of research.

The alien eggs samples in the special laboratory room were suddenly hatched and bursting out the new "facehugger" larvaes. Some of the lab staff were infested by it, while the other larvae strays were killed on the spot to prevent any infestation happening on more victims. Therefore the research was cancelled and the lab staff who became its alive hosts were quarantined until further notice.

The higher-ups were tried to keep it down so nobody outside The Organization know about this accidents. All the scientists and other staff members also tirelessly forced themself to solve this emergency situations. They tried to save the victims who currently become the alien's host, as far as preparing extraction operation for them hopefully it will have successful result.

But just a few days after that incident happened, all of the matured embrios inside the alive hosts bursted out from their body when they were still in the middle of intensive body examinations. The victims were died immediately, leaving a bunch of terrifying creatures that emerged from the wounds and crawling out attacking people in the laboratory.

Everyone was shocked by those horrible gorey sight, some of them were panickly calling for help while the others trying to escape from the room but stopped by the juvenile aliens' quick attack. When the security team came to rescue, most people in the room were either already dead from fatal wounds or barely alive still struggling to avoid getting attacked by the creatures.

The team quickly eliminate the rest of juvenile aliens by shooting it all, ensuring it wont leave past the entrance door. After ensuring no more alive aliens detected, they immediately sent the survivors to the hospital while the dead ones were sent to the Organization's morgue.

By this horrifying incident, the Organization executives hold the emergency meeting on that day They discussing how to solve this unexpected catastrophe during the research, how they should tell to the victims' family about the incident, or if this research are really worth it with these casualties. The higher-ups commanded them to call or reaching everyone who were involved on the newest expeditition mission, to make sure if there is nobody else got infested among the crew members.

Someone reported that most of expedition members along with other spaceship passengers on that mission have gone missing for days, and a few of them were found dead at their home with the same wide gaping hole wound on their chest. Two recordings from CCTVs on one dead victim's home clearly showed 3-4 Xenomorph alien younglings that just born or bursted from the victim's body, crawling outside the house towards neighbourhood area.

From those reports and evidences, it was confirmed that the crew members who participated on the newest exploration mission actually contained alive Xenomorph larvaes before they landed back on Earth, and somehow the infestation itself couldn't be detected because it was still on very early stage at that time. By the calculation of every "chestburster" larvaes that would be born into juvenile Xenomorph aliens from the total 30 suspected victims, it could be up to 120 individuals. And one of the juvenile aliens could be the next Queen that will reproducing new batch of eggs on somewhere else right now.

The plan has failed. This accident has shaken the Research Organization to the core as they prepared for worst scenario: the Xenomorph alien has already reproduced and multiplied itself inside or outside the Organization building complex. Not to mention they haven't managed to supervise the suspected victims current whereabouts prior the incident. Thus, as for the first step action to prevent bigger fatalities happens, they alerted all of the Research Organization members.

At home, Badd got the emergency messages from his higher-ups as he also explaining Garou about what was happened at the moment, that there was infestation of Xenomorph aliens among the researchers in the Research Organization. The higher-ups already deployed all of their hunter squads towards several different locations based on victims' last sighting or their home address. The higher-ups also instructed him to join the hunter squad for outside building complex area or near the suburban area to search the rogue Xenomorph aliens or at least for any survived suspected victims.

Garou suggested that he will also doing the hunt with Badd as it's the Warrior's duty to banish those alien species' existence, as it was their main prey. He asked Badd to always stay near him during the hunt so he wont get hurt by those beasts. Garou promised Badd that he will protect him, no matter what. But he wont promised to do the same for the others, no guaranteed he will helped them. Mostly they will be on their own. 

Both had agreed to eachother, they set their own combat gears. Garou wore his warrior armor and brought all his hunting weapons. Badd also did his part, not forgetting to bring Garou's metal bat gift, he couldn't wait to finally trying it out to smash those aliens' head off. He strapped it on his backpack, shoving all of other combat equipments on his car trunk, then driving his car out along with Garou towards their destination.

Before they go to the mission location, Badd dropping Zenko first to their neighbour family house to make sure someone watching over her and keeping her safe during dangerous situation. Garou shifted into invisible stealthy mode on their way to the squad assembly point, secretly blending with the rest of Badd's hunter squad members.

They started to investigate the forest near the suburban area which was previously has been reported for most recent Xenomorph alien sighting.

----- ⭐To Be Continued⭐ -----

--------------------------------

Notes:

So I made this headcanon because I had a dream which was strangely similar like the movie's plot, although not exactly same. Still don't know why and how I got that kind of dream since I haven't watch the movie again for so long 😅

The dream was about where I was accidentally saving the Queen of Xenomorph who infested my friend and took control of her mind, then turned out I must ensured the Queen's next survival 😱😰

But the difference between my dream and this Batarou AU is that I met a Queen of Xenomorph alien, while in the AU story Badd met one of Yautja warriors as I've decided to make Garou as The Predator instead. I thought it would be cooler than him being a Xenomorph alien, lmao! ✌😁

Coincidentally, besides getting an inspiration from my own dream, this AU especially for Garou as Predator also inspired by the fact we getting his Awakened Monster form from Murata 😳✨

Combining both the ideas, his Murata-styled Monster form and the amazing Predator figure appearance, WHAM, we got badass concept of Predator Warrior Garou! 👏👏😤

By the way, because I've made Predator Garou and his entire clans can do some shapeshifting as the more advanced hunting skill, he has 3 forms in this story:

1. Original form:

Exactly like the Predator in the movie, but the differences are the hairstyle, body build, and the ability to speak human language. Instead of dreadlocks, his hair is swept-back long spiky white hair. His body is more on slender-built than buff as Garou is an agile-type warrior, but he is so much taller than his canon-self, approximally 200 cm, unless he was shapeshifting into another form. He can speak human language in original form, but a little bit difficult to do it because of his mouth's structure so whatever he spouted when he talks would sounds like either growling or hissing. 

It's Garou's default form when he was among his own kind. Showed this form the first time he met Badd in rescue ship to threatened him (but failed as Badd didn't afraid of him at all), or when he was facing off some Xenomorph aliens in combat during the research organization's incident catastrophe.

When Garou revealed himself in front of the Organization executives at the next part (spoiler!), he refused to show his true face as they aren't worthy enough to see it, unlike Badd and Zenko. Hence he only shifted into adaptive form at that moment before Badd comes to defend him.

2. Adaptive form:

After living together with Badd for months, he has adapted into a new hybrid form, a mix between his own original Yautja form and human form. The result is like Monster Garou in Murata's style! No more arthropod-like mandibles with tusks, but instead human-like jaws with rows of sharp teeth and fangs (just imagine it like Murata's Awakened Garou). His hair is just like his canon-self with the iconic long horns-like spiky white hair, but at some point Badd cuts his hair shorter for more easier maintenance, so it now looks like Awakened Garou with short hair-style.

Mostly Garou showed this adaptive form when he was around Badd and Zenko at home. He knows Badd likes it so much thus alot of teasing, so he decided to make this adaptive form as a new default appearance during his stay on Earth. More practical to use as he doesn't do much hunting at that time, also the new set of jaws makes him easier to communicate by human language with Badd without his tech-armor helmet mask.

In this form, Garou still in his super tall self even though the height can vary around 185-190 cm, depends on the situation, ex: sleeping as he's a big boy Badd's bed or couch wont fit, so he'd shrink a bit. Sometimes Garou and Badd would spar at their secret place in the middle of woods using this form.

Despite the adaptive form is not quite suitable for hunting strong prey like Xenomorph aliens, Garou prefers to use it whenever he was training with Badd. Also, he can kiss Badd while in this form. Actually even more easier when he was in human form, it's just Badd loves this form more. Don't kinkshame Badd, he is one of monsterfucker, lmao. 

3. Human form:

Because he has shapeshifting ability, Garou can create his "human persona" everytime he blends into human crowds, especially when Badd asked Garou to go outside with him, occasionally also along with Zenko. Exactly like Garou in canon, but now with short-hairstyle as Badd said it suits him more. Garou interpreted it as a way to say "You look more handsome" but denied profusely by Badd.

He still maintained his lean-muscled physique like his other forms, but Garou shrink his height down into 177 cm because not only being too tall would catch many attention from people (Garou: "It's not my fault you all humans are just so goddamned short!"), Badd hated it when he was being towered by his own "boyfriend" when they're walking together in public. Although Badd accepted his tall monstrous height when they're only with eachother.

Badd's neighbours were successfully charmed by this "camouflage" appearance, Garou in a very cocky way tried it on Badd but it seems Badd only tolerates Garou's human form. Honestly, Badd loves his adaptive form as it shows Garou's own will to connect more with Badd while still maintained personal aspects of himself. Badd also totally didn't mind his original form as it was Garou's true face, and to be shown the real Warrior's face behind the mask is a great honour for Badd.

-----------

I just remember that I've been in Batarou fandom for a whole year since January 2020, so you can think this headcanon AU as a new year gift and a thankful gift for the fandom 😆😚🎂🎁🎉🎊

Special thanks for:

🌸 @kaincuro​ and @the-goddessfighter​

Thank you so much for being huge inspirations! You guys introduced me about the beautiful side of Batarou ship via your awesome blogs and encourage me to also participating by sharing ideas to the fandom. Because of you, I managed to stay in this fandom for 1 year full despite 2020 being a hard year.

Thank you Cain, for being a wonderful person and providing us the Good Quality™ Batarou contents, both headcanons and arts! Whenever I'm on bad days and want to read Batarou stuff, I always go to your blog, it never fails to makes me feels alot better! Seeing your fluffy Batarou drawings and your amazing explanation on headcanon about them are absolute mood booster, it really helped me going through my hard days, seriously. So I wanna thank you from the deepest pit of my heart, because of you I could passed a difficult year more easier.

Please keep running your amazing blog, you're great and we love you! 😉👍❤🌸

Thank you Temperans-sama, for being one of greatest Batarou artists I've ever known in the OPM fandom and for your dedication on always working hard making many beautiful Batarou drawings to deliver to the fandom! Everything you've made are PERFECTION, really a God-tier artstyle. Not to mention your Batarou art always the Softest and Fluffiest! 😚👌💖💖

Thank you for kindheartedly willing to listening my super random headcanons or AUs, even as far liking it and drawing the illustrations for it, all of the arts are magnificent I'm so grateful for that AAAAA thank youuuu- *sobbing happily* 😭🙏💕💖 I feel so happy for being able to talk and sharing ideas with an incredible artist like you waaah THANK YOUUU!! Please accept my promised thankful gift for this year, I hope you like it 😚💕🎁♥

Biggest respect, support, and neverending love for you~ 😘❤💜💙💖💝💐👏

🌸 @lovelybutnot-ablankcanvas​ and @guby1620​

You guys are such very good friends during my stay in the Batarou fandom throughout the year, thaaaank youuu! Both of you deserved the best! *hugs tightly and never let go*

Thank you Eir, for being one of the most talented Batarou fanfic writers and most supportive understanding friend! I feel blessed to ever know you through your first Batarou fic a year ago, I still remember being one of your first reviewer and we shared alot of new ideas or random stuff. Now you already become a multitalented artist on both as fic writer and art drawing I'm so proud of you! 👏👏😤✨

Also, thank you for writing so many Batarou fic gifts last year, all of them are my favorite stories until now I really appreciate them! Keep being awesome, Eir, and yes you have my endless supports~ 😉💖✨

Thank you Ruby, for being a very talented Batarou artist with the most loveliest artsyle and I really admired you for that! You always have fluffiest ideas for arts and I love your handsome Garou + adorably sweet Badd drawings. I always enjoyed our interactions whenever we talk about our HCs, you're very easygoing and fun person to talk with, also you always successfully cheer me up with your cutest Batarou art 😉👍💯✨

I should thank you for liking my AU stories, even making one of them into a Doujin THANK YOU SO MUCH I didn't expected you would included the Reincarnated Demon/Angel AU into your long project I feel both grateful and honoured AAAA THANKS A LOT! *died from happiness* 😭💞💖💝

Undying supports and greatest appreciation for youuu, Ruby! I will always waiting for your new creations 👏💝🌸🌻💐

🌸 @garous-nipple​

I wanna say thank you for being one of the most talented Garou-centric fanartists in the fandom, you're amazing and I always love seeing your progress on evolving your artstyle throughout the time. You have great drawing skill and trust me you have already on the path to become next Murata! May this year will becomes Garou year as his inevitable comeback in the manga is near, so you will get loads of new art inspirations 😤👍💯🌟

Thanks alot for always accepting my requests or art idea suggestions! You absolutely deserved all of the best appreciation for your hardworks, we the OPM fandom are loving you 😉👌💖

I hope you enjoyed Garou's "the Predator" concept design headcanon as a humble new year gift from me 😆💝🎁🎉

And lastly for special mention:

🌸 @himbo-in-limbo​

I know we haven't interacted yet, but knowing that you love both Garou and AvP after stumbling into your lovely blog, I've decided to include you, too! As someone who only saw AvP once and not too familiar with the story, I honestly kinda embarassed of myself and afraid if my headcanon wont makes any sense so I apologized if there's alot mistakes and inaccuracy in here or if it's too OOC, please forgive me 🙇💦

I realized it's not perfect but I hope you like my concept design of Garou being a Yautja! Also sorry for the Batarou hints I hope you wouldn't really mind about it 😅😉💕💝🎁

(btw, all of your OCs are fantastic and very thoughtful-made! ❤)

----------

Once again I'm so sorry if my writing sucks, I wanted to share the idea but I don't have good writing skill at all please forgive me.. 😭🙇

I hope I can continue for the second part which is also the last part, it's currently on 1/4 way of completion. I'm currently stuck on the action scene why does it so hard to write battle scenes heeeelpp! 😫💦

So please wait for me, yeah? Wish me luck I could finished the story 😅🙏

Thank you so much, we will see again on the final part! 💖

-Little1993lamb-

-------------------------------

Temperans:

Anon! Thank you very much for sharing another fantastic fic for this fandom! Sorry for taking time to post it here. You know? My vacation will be over soon and I'm getting ready for TuT school

I would like to have dreams as interesting as yours, I hardly dream anymore, and it is nice that you can capture an idea from that. Honestly I've been a bit off these days, I miss our guys a lot and the way the webcomic is unfolding really distresses me (I'm so scared for Badd X'C). But your fic lifts my spirits every time I read it! So I wanted to reward your hard work with a drawing. I really like H. R. Giger's art and I tried to give that vibe to my art (I tried X'D). Thank you anon for always being there to support the fandom unconditionally! I hope you have a better year and health! 😘❤💜💙💖💝

[theritualofourexistence]

Clarity in the Cancellation Crusade

After posting multi-paragraph comments on a couple different things that have popped up in my feed recently, it seemed like I should probably just sit down and write this out.

“Cancel culture.” Crazy shit, right?

The recent onslaught of cancellations includes Mr. Potato Head, Pepe Le Pew, a handful of Disney movies (Peter Pan, Dumbo, The Aristocats), and *audible gasp* Dr. Seuss. The Muppets also got a newfangled Disney+ content warning, though I’ve seen significantly fewer headlines about that.

The thing that inevitably happens when the news media decides to publish a headline about a children’s toy or book being “canceled” is a veritable parade of social media complaints about how sensitive people have become. I saw this particular post over 10 times in the period of a couple hours one day last week…

The question I’ve been asking recently when I see posts like that is this: “Who do you think cancel culture is?”

Because “cancel culture” isn’t real. In the majority of the cases currently making headlines, the choice to remove a character from a movie or stop publishing a book has been made by the company responsible for that character or book… and that is very much a normal thing companies can choose to do.

No one I’ve posed the above question to has overtly mentioned “Libtards,” but it’s certainly implied. People who haven’t read a Dr. Seuss book in 20 years are now suddenly all up in arms (literally?) because “the Liberals” are coming for “And to Think That I Saw It on Mulberry Street.”

The Liberals are not coming for Dr. Seuss. They do not care about a potato toy. Also, nothing is happening to the Cat in the Hat. I repeat: NOTHING is happening to the Cat in the Hat.

The choices to stop publishing that book and to market a vegetable toy in a less gendered way were made by the companies responsible for producing those products… not the Liberal “cancel culture” ghoul. In fact, it’s really, really hard to find public outcry about any of the things that have been recently “canceled.” There was a single NYT article that recently discussed the problematic nature of the Pepe Le Pew cartoons… that said, Warner Bros hasn’t aired that show in decades and it is not clear whether that article had anything to do with the skunk’s scene being removed from the new Space Jam movie.

Even growing up I remember things like political correctness needlessly becoming a partisan issue. When we fall into that media trap, all we’re doing is watering the plant of an already poisonous and ineffective two-party system. Be bigger than that temptation. Push back against media intended to further divide Americans. If something stinks, it’s probably rotten. Sure, there are certain topics that fall under the umbrella of political correctness that sound alarm bells for censorship issues… but didn’t everyone’s mom tell them that if they didn’t have anything nice to say, they shouldn’t say anything at all?

Again, though, the most important thing to remember about this recent wave of “canceling” is that censorship concerns are moot. A person who owns a thing is legally allowed to do all the censoring they want. It’s not the government that has decided to stop publishing 6 books written by Dr. Seuss… if it were, we could have the censorship conversation. These changes aren’t happening because there is a Democrat in the White House. They’re happening because the company who makes these products, has for whatever reason, decided to take a different approach.

In the case of the Dr. Seuss books, Dr. Seuss Enterprises re-evaluated their choice to publish 6 books based on racist themes and images. I have only heard of two of those six. The image below is, in my opinion, objectively problematic:

The fact that a major company behind such a well-known name has seen that something is problematic and has decided to stop publishing the books containing overt racist images is awesome. It sets a great example that we can all learn from. Humans have an amazing capacity to learn… that’s one of the only reasons we are in charge here on Earth. If we fall on ice once, we are often more careful on ice the next time. When we see that something is racially problematic, it’s a good thing if we can take action to get that thing out of rotation. More on that later.

Fundamentally, what is happening right now in Media Land is gross sensationalism.

“Cancel culture” isn’t real. Should people face consequences if they say or do racist things? Yes. We should all agree on that. Should we stop publishing books that perpetuate racist stereotypes? Yes. There are plenty of non-racist books that provide an education about racial differences without the added (exceedingly inappropriate) zing of Asian characters being painted yellow and African characters being given monkey features.

If you’re not convinced that some of Dr. Seuss’s material is racially problematic, I encourage you to pop on over to Google to check out the series of ads he did for FLIT in the 1930s. Yes, it was the 1930s. In the last 90 years, we’ve learned that images like that are not okay… let’s use that knowledge to let old racist graphics die.

Still can’t accept that “cancel culture” isn’t real? Still feeling like there’s something in the air now that is different and worse than before?

Okay, then, let’s consider it further.

Things have been “canceled” by people for millennia… this isn’t new. Being all for cancel culture when Colin Kaepernick kneels for the anthem (a perfectly legal form of peaceful protest considered respectful by many veterans) but opposing cancel culture when it’s threatening to eliminate an obviously racist thing is not exactly a moral stance. Burning your Nikes in the street but then turning around and spending $400 on a copy of “If I Ran the Zoo” on eBay after Dr. Seuss’s own family has pulled it from publication due to racist imagery is… silly.

The same people who seem to be so vocal about “cancel culture” now are part of the same communities who tried to cancel plenty of things in my lifetime. Things like trick-or-treating, Harry Potter, school dances, books and movies with LGBT+ characters and themes…

History absolutely bubbles over with things that have been canceled… often for good reason! Some examples that come to mind: 

DDT

the Catholic Church (see the 16th century Protestant Reformation)

doing our everyday poopin’ in outdoor holes

polio

hoop skirts

phrenology (new science cancels old science like every damn day)

Ford Pintos (not to mention cars without seatbelts)

telegrams and rotary phones (replaced by easier and better ways to communicate)

lead paint

asbestos

Four Loco

Y’all remember when we all did the ice bucket challenge to cancel Alzheimer’s?

Learning that something is problematic and moving past it is LEARNING… not cancel culture.  Learning and growth are good things. We all benefit from them.

Another thing worth commenting on from that Cat in the Hat post that circulated in my Facebook feed: why do we consistently demonize sensitivity? Racism feels like something we should all be sensitive about. If being sensitive about something results in meaningful change and a less hateful country, isn’t that… good? Why do so many Americans seem to place so much value on their “freedom” to hurt others?

And don’t get me started on comparing this stuff to Cardi B. It boggles my mind that that’s happening at all. Why is there suddenly so much outcry about one song that features female genitals in a literal ocean of songs that feature male genitals. I grew up knowing every word to songs about sex well before I even knew what sex was. Your kids are only desperate to listen to WAP because they know it makes you squeamish. And take a second to think about why it makes you squeamish. Genitals are human and scientific and we literally all have them. If you have more of a problem with WAP than with any of the other 10,000 songs about dicks and sex, you need to spend some time examining why that is.

Here’s another post I’ve seen bouncing around the social media feeds:

Something about this is just plain hilarious to me. Like what are racism and rape culture if not THE REALEST issues? This country’s problem with systemic racism runs so, so deep and is reflected very plainly in centuries of cold, hard numbers. It’s not that I *think* systemic racism is a problem. The data very clearly shows that regardless of what white people think about race in this country, systemic racism absolutely IS a problem. Racism and rape culture, arguably at the root of the most recent canceling spree, are not just real issues, they’re real American issues. They’re cultural issues. And solving cultural issues is not easy. We know that these issues have been passed down through the generations so maybe changing children’s toys and books and shows isn’t such a bad thing to try. There is SO much work to do to address racism and rape culture in the United States, but small steps are still progress.

If choosing to stop airing a show that blatantly perpetuates rape culture means one less young person is stalked or assaulted or raped, that’s worth it, no? What if that one young person who doesn’t become a victim is your daughter?

If choosing to stop publishing a book with racist themes and images leads to even one kid understanding more about the nuance of race in America and the breath-taking extent of white privilege, that’s worth it too.

Would I rather the media spend time and money to bring American attention to bigger issues associated with this nation’s racism and rape culture? 100%. There are ENORMOUS fish to fry. Dr. Seuss is not an enormous fish. Potato head toys are not enormous fish. Pepe Le Pew is not an enormous fish. They’re not even big fish. They’re small. They’re tiny fish. They’re anchovies. But frying some fish is better than frying no fish.

Canceling Pepe Le Pew is not hurting anyone. Warner Brothers owns Pepe Le Pew. Warner Brothers owns nearly everything; they are not hurting for money. And canceling Pepe certainly isn’t hurting American kids. There are plenty of other kids’ shows to watch that are significantly less problematic. Just because you watched Pepe Le Pew and went on to be a properly respectful adult doesn’t mean there aren’t other kids out there who did internalize a harmful disrespect for consent. No, Pepe Le Pew probably isn’t single-handedly responsible for anyone’s decision to stalk or rape anyone else. But could a show reinforce the groundwork that ultimately leads a kid down a path where he is unable or unwilling to respect the boundaries of others? I mean, it’s not the craziest thing I’ve heard this week.

Canceling six total Dr. Seuss books that are already pretty obscure is not hurting anyone.

Changing the name of an already genderless potato toy to reflect that genderless-ness is not hurting anyone.

A brief recap: racism and rape culture are very real, very American issues.

If the decision to stop doing a thing doesn’t hurt anyone and may even save someone some hurt, why does that decision bother you?

Also, in all your frantic Facebook posting, make sure you are differentiating between “cancel culture” and consequences. When the media tosses around the phrase “cancel culture” it has this tone of finality that is, plainly, not realistic. Fads and trends move so quickly in the internet age that the idea that a group of people could “cancel” something permanently is just not possible. People who do or say racist things, though, should face consequences. People who do or say transphobic or homophobic things should face consequences. Consequences are one of the only ways we learn to do better. And again, that’s not my opinion, it’s science.

One of the consequences that can have the most impact is, you guessed it, losing money! In this capitalist hellscape, money talks. Boycotting and choosing how we spend our money are some of the most engaging ways to combat racist and homophobic garbage. When you have your temper tantrum because the company who owns a book with overtly racist imagery decides to stop publishing that book, that speaks volumes about your priorities. If you respond to that company’s decision by buying the book in question on eBay for $400, that speaks even louder volumes. What are you doing? WHY are you doing it? I’m guessing you don’t even know, and you should probably spend some time thinking about it before you flush away a chunk of your stimmy on a freaking RACIST KIDS’ BOOK.

All actions have consequences. All of our choices never affect just us. How we vote affects other people. How we spend our money affects other people. Spending our money on things that are problematic perpetuates the problem… whether it be racism, rape culture, homophobia, or transphobia… or so many other things this country desperately needs to address.

It’s human to not like change. Change is going to happen, though, regardless of whether or not we’re comfortable with it. In the information age, we have a remarkable opportunity to steer that change. Leaving behind racist relics is change, so it may be inherently uncomfortable. But change that moves our country away from racism and rape culture is GOOD change.

I am begging you. Use critical thinking… if you’re seeing a headline about something being canceled, look up WHY. Some of these headlines are absolute bunk… they’re shared just to get people all riled up and create American division. However, just like we *should* cancel lead paint, a children’s book with overtly racist images shouldn’t be published anymore and it’s weird if you disagree with that. Disagreeing with that decision, as silly as it may seem, perpetuates racism. I know how triggered y’all can get when someone suggests you might be perpetuating racism, but it is what it is. Do your research. Don’t spend your money on racist garbage. Be better.

I feel like this post is me just barking the exact same thing in different ways, but I also feel like there is so much more I could say.

I’ll leave you with this:

What will it take for Americans to weigh the threats of racism and homophobia the same way we weight the threat of lead paint? If it’s a matter of costing lives, well, the numbers speak for themselves.

[croc-odette]

i love ds9 and here are some episode premises that i wish had happened

DND EPISODE: already talked about this but a dungeons and dragons holosuite episode. jake is the overly prepared DM obviously, nog, ziyal, and alexander are players. nog’s player is clearly his idea of sisko, a lawful good paladin; ziyal plays as a cardassian rogue (played by dukat, but clearly based in personality on kira); alexander plays a mage who is kind-of worf kind-of jadzia and keeps switching between them through the game). there’s an NPC version that’s clearly also based on sisko at one point, but from jake’s point of view knowing him as his dad to compare how differently jake and nog, a cadet, see him.

as the game progresses, it becomes clear that the Big Bad is based on a combo of dukat/winn (corrupt government/religious figure). ziyal struggles with the classic DND question of ‘just because i would do this, does that mean my character would?’ except she’s realizing that her dad wouldn’t do any of the selfless things she wants her character to do. alexander keeps trying to solve shit through weird cantrips or puzzle solving instead of fighting and jake is like ‘it’s not deep it’s just a cave bat please roll initiative’. bashir and garak show up as like, the old couple from the princess bride and everyone has to be like ‘jake they’re not dating in real life this rpf shit is kind of inappropriate’ and he’s like ‘wait what? i thought they were dating’. miles is an NPC and dies. nog thinks jake’s-sisko-npc is too silly and disrespectful and jake is like ‘he’s MY dad’ and they have to take a break to argue about it and jake is like ‘your dad is cool too’. nog’s character changes to lawful good paladin rom. actually this whole game is ‘arguing about dads’ time now that i think about it, which jake is not really equipped to jump in on since he has a normal cool dad who he basically just thinks is embarrassing because he’s the ~messiah~ or some goofy bullshit. ends with them calling it a day after the final boss battle and then jake and nog privately talking about whether or not they can trust ziyal if she has to choose between ds9 and dukat, which was an ulterior motive of the game. ziyal is clearly clearly rattled by what the game made her realize and goes to see kira, who she doesn’t tell about the game but who still gives her a hug, and ziyal realizes that kira’s her hero (and like, her mom). alexander tells worf and dax about the game and dax thinks it sounds fun as hell and asks alexander if they can come next time, and worf is like ‘....... only if i can be a blood mage’. nog and jake go home and tell their dads they love them. 

shit i blacked out

PRANK WAR EPISODE: escalating series of pranks starting with jadzia putting hair dye in bashir’s shampoo and ending with the space station accidentally going into a meltdown self destruct scenario. garak is torn between helping jadzia and quark, who are clearly the better pranksters, or helping julian and odo, who suck at pranks but are his lunch friends. everyone has to tell garak that he’s way too intense about ‘pranks’ which are actually just really dangerous booby traps he puts in people’s quarters. sisko ends the episode by grounding everyone; no holosuites for a month!! yes even dax

GREAT RACE EPISODE: there’s some kind of macguffin resource on a planet (a klingon escape pod with a survivor with crucial intelligence information?), but they can’t teleport directly to it. a vorta and jem h’dar team and a ds9 team beam down on opposite sides of its location and are both racing to get there first, having to macgyver together vehicles and tools on the way. lots of excellent outdoor on-location settings and comparison of the jem h’dar/vorta dynamic and the ds9 federation dynamic. ends with the jem h’dar almost winning but turning on the vorta at the last few yards, and sisko’s team beams out as the jem h’dar chant victory. no i refuse to think this is same plot as ‘the ship’ or whatever

KASIDY EPISODE: set earlier in kasidy/sisko’s relationship, kasidy agrees to go with jadzia as a third-party observer to negotiations with a nearby bajoran colony over a trade agreement with the federation. jadzia and kasidy bond over gossiping about sisko on the way, but once they get there kasidy disagrees with the starfleet’s contract during negotiations which causes tensions, and recommends that the bajorans reject it. she and jadzia get into an argument about starfleet and its ideals, and why kasidy chose to be an independent captain rather than a starfleet captain, and how that doesn’t make her lesser than starfleet captains. jadzia realizes that kasidy is right and petitions superiors for a new contract, which kasidy approves of. they go home tenser then when they left, but when sisko asks jadzia what she thinks of kasidy, she very seriously says that she has incredible compassion, intelligence, and integrity, and that she doesn’t need or want jadzia’s approval. but has it anyway

MUSICAL EPISODE: someone already outlined a great musical ep where lwaxana comes in with a betazoid cold and it makes everyone burst into song in another text post and like 100% cosigned

SHAKESPEARE EP: holosuite shenanigans; every character is suddenly stuck as someone from a different shakespeare play. garak is an enthusiastically combative beatrice, kira is cordelia, worf is hamlet, jadzia is a very amused katerina, julian is puck, miles is duncan (”i get MURDERED?”), odo is benvolio and kind of bummed he’s not romeo, etc. i actually don’t know any shakespeare play that well but i think it could be neat. julian is the only fucking person on ds9 who actually knows any of it well enough to figure out what’s going on, except for sisko who doesn’t really care for shakespeare but generally knows about the plays (maybe a good opportunity to talk about the racism in most ‘classic Earth’ pop culture that star trek tends to uphold without criticism). i don’t know shit about the 40 plays that shakespeare wrote about british kings but i could see sisko ending up in that kind of intense role and refusing to play into it, as do the rest of the characters who refuse to fulfill their respective roles and instead find another way to end the program.

KLINGON OPERA EPISODE: goodddddddd can we see some klingon opera, mac. i’ve been dying to see some klingon opera. premise is they believe that someone is assassinating ambassadors and so they tag along with a andorian ambassador who loves opera to see if they can figure out who the assassin is, however the andorian plays it down as over-worrying and that they should use it as an excuse to enjoy themselves. worf and jadzia go and have a lovey dovey time, sisko and kasidy go and have a lovey dovey time watching worf and jadzia get super into the opera together. julian is asked to go in case there’s poison used or first aid needed, and miles is like ‘the last time i went undercover i came home with trauma and someone’s cat so no thanks i hate klingon opera’ and after some increasingly overt passive aggressive implications that julian should take HIM, julian asks garak to go with him. bonus points if for some reason they are wearing the stupid tuxedos from doctor bashir i presume. a lot of loud arguing about the opera which almost gets them kicked out. at the end of the first act, one of the actors DOES try to kill the andorian but jadzia jumps in front of the phaser beam (cue worf being very concerned and annoyed that she could have gotten killed, jadzia being very smug and pleased with herself, her head in his lap, in a pose mirroring an earlier couple in the opera). julian feels like he would have noticed if he hadn’t been distracted by garak, and when it turns out the andorian ambassador has sensitive info about cardassia’s civilian government, julian accuses garak of intentionally trying to distract him to make sure the andorian actually died, which turns into a huge argument (ideally in a very opulent klingon opera house bathroom). during the argument, julian realizes that garak was trying to hint to him that something about the assassination attempt was off; he pieces together aloud that the andorian and the actor must have been in league together, to fake the andorian’s assassination so they could not be tried for profiteering by illegally selling weapons to the cardassian central control during bajoran occupation, which they are currently under investigation for. the other ambassador assasinations were planned by the andorian to cover their tracks. the andorian is arrested, as is the actor. at the ballroom afterparty, sisko and kasidy, in a good mood that everything worked out, agree to join in on traditional klingon dancing. worf and jadzia take a peaceful walk through the gardens and worf recites some really lovely klingon poetry about how sometimes it’s NOT a good day to die if someone loves you, that none of us fucking understand without looking it up. julian and garak talk on the balcony, and julian posits that garak is loyal to cardassia, but which part of it? garak answers, very close and meaningfully looking at julian, ‘like most things... it’s complicated.’

i was about to say ‘fake wedding episode’ but literally LITERALLY that was the shotgun wedding lwaxana/odo ep. i love star trek

KEIKO BOTANIST EPISODE: kira accompanies keiko to bajor to help find a medicinal plant that was thought to be wiped out during the occupation but might still exist in a remote mountain region based on local reports. a nice episode where we learn more about bajor and see how bajorans are coping and healing. over a campfire, kira thanks keiko for accepting her into their family. keiko tells kira that she was really intimidated by her when they first met, and then realized she’s one of the most loving people she knows. just a nice episode, maybe some mild nature survival conflict, but ends on a hopeful note of them finding the plant. miles beams down with the kids to have a picnic with keiko and kira, and kira’s happy to see children playing carelessly on bajor again.

JAKE AND ZIYAL EPISODE: everyone thinks jake and ziyal are dating because they’ve been hanging out. julian’s an idiot and mentions to sisko ‘must be hard, huh’ and sisko’s like ‘WHAT must be hard’ and julian’s like oh my god were we not supposed to talk to him about this. jake and ziyal aren’t dating but as soon as sisko tries to talk to jake about it jake is like ‘i’m not but actually maybe i SHOULD ask her out’ and sisko is like fuck. okay no that’s fine. this is more of a B-plot but basically give jake and ziyal age-appropriate love interests they’re both RIGHT there

[etraytin]

Quarantine, Day 123

July 12

A-B-C, it’s easy as Day 1-2-3! 

Another quiet day in quarantine, a near-mirror to yesterday except none of us went anywhere today. We are being ever so good in advance of the wedding! I did get a message today about a mama cat and some kittens very close to me that I'm going to check out tomorrow, just to get the lay of the land. The contact person says the kittens are 6-7 weeks old, but a lot of people are pretty bad at guessing the ages of kittens from far away. If they are young enough to socialize we can trap them and get them into the foster system, but if they are too old they will have to wait a little longer because we are backed up all to hell at the spay/neuter clinic. They have had to go to reduced hours again, so we're only getting slots on certain days. Tuesday I will actually be trapping at a different site with one of my friends, and this time we will be wearing masks even outdoors because one volunteer tested positive recently. It would really help if it were not 90 degrees out! 

The kiddo has made a full-on fort in my closet now; he is very proud of himself. He mostly goes there in the evening, in the time between the end of screen time for the day and bedtime. He is listening to a lot of music on Spotify now, and I would feel old for not recognizing most of it except that I have never recognized much in the way of pop music. I'm just pleased when he occasionally busts out with a Jimmy Buffett song because I know that's all my influence. He has also mentioned that he likes a lot of the songs he likes because they make him think of fanfiction stories inside his head, which is also just like me and I will always encourage that. He doesn't seem to like the quiet; there is always something coming from his room, whether it is Youtube or Spotify or podcasts. 

Barry has forgiven me for the unthinkable crime of allowing him to jump out of my arms last night, and it only took a bit of groveling and a bunch of treats. These guys are going to have a lot of fun when they get to the rescue and have more room and other kittens around! Hopefully they will also learn how to use the litterbox without kicking up a sandbender-sized mess about it. Their mama probably taught them how to scratch in the dirt, which requires a lot more energy and enthusiasm than a couple inches of Tidy Cat. A high-sided litterbox has helped a lot, but some good examples should also be good for them. They are out and playing right now until I finish all my typing for the evening. I have held off on the evening serving of wet food so I can use it to put them away without having to chase anybody. 

Two different people have texted me in the past two days to ask me about homeschooling curriculum. Kiddo had some problems in first and second grade before we got his medication settled and when we were in a much worse school district. I ended up pulling him and using the virtual public school option that Florida makes available for free to any student. We did Connections Academy for two years and it was good, but very time-consuming. It's funny because I hadn't even been thinking about homeschool again until my sister asked me about what we had used, but I understand why people are looking around. The idea of sending kids back into the classroom right now is scary, especially for people with young children like both of the parents I talked to. 

I honestly don't think that any back-to-school-in-person option is going to last very long, just as a matter of logistics. What happens when someone tests positive? Does the class quarantine? Does the teacher quarantine? What if a teacher has to quarantine or gets sick, or someone in their family gets sick? Who's going to teach their classes? There was already a severe shortage of substitute teachers before all of this happened, and a lot of the subs were retired teachers themselves. Who on earth is going to go into a classroom where someone just got quarantined for COVID and teach there for eighty dollars a day and no benefits? I got my letter authorizing me to sub during the 2020-21 school year and just threw it in a drawer. I mean, some people are going to be desperate enough to do it, but if you're that hard up, it's probably safer to work at McDonalds right now where you're only close up with ten or eleven people instead of thirty or two hundred. Teachers already had an incredibly shitty deal before coronavirus; I believe that we will soon start to see what happens when conditions get  so bad that nobody will teach. Guess we'll see pretty soon, some schools are getting ready to go back in just a few weeks! Virginia schools don't start til September, so we've got a little time yet. 

[mimzy-writing-online]

Some Blind Things I (and actual blind person) Have Done

I talk all the time about what’s realistic for a blind person to do and how to write a blind character who isn’t a complete media myth of touching faces and super powers... soooo, part of that is knowing what kind of things an actual blind person (me) fucks up doing because I’m blind.

These moments include: Me sarcastically telling people I cannot see the thing they’re doing. Moments where I have zero manners. Moments where I do have manners. Making people uncomfortable because they’re staring at me. Great phrases like, “I have too much ADHD to count to eight.” and “It’s literally illegal for me to drive.” and “Wait, who are you?” “That’s not how we talk to people Mimzy.” My cats’ growing concern that I can’t see them or tell them apart but continuing to love me. Channeling my inner Toph Bei-Fong. Updates on the ongoing insomnia writing.

There’s no chronological order to them, I’m not sure there’s going to be any order to them at all, but it’s 3 am and I can’t sleep and it’s called the Late Night Writing Advice Blog for a reason.

(I definitely did not have to double check my own blog title while typing that, definitely not)

Note: This list gets a little long, but it’s a funny read and I was up until 4:30 (this note is from a future Mimzy who’s almost finished posting this, after 1.5 hours)

Additional Note: Feel free to send anons with commentary or reblog with commentary because I would love if someone enjoyed this. Like, these are stories of my life, please appreciate them.

The Things!

-My best friend and I hang out mostly at night because of his 9-5 job, and he still lives with his parents who probably don’t like me so when we hang out we’re mostly driving around on random adventures and coffee/tea runs and late night dinners. 

So it’s night, and my night vision is awful and I have to wear sunglasses anyway because what I can see is painfully bright headlights so yeah I see basically nothing.

With my best friend, I have

1. after asking him a question: “Did you nod at me and I just didn’t see it.” “I did nod.” or after waiting long enough for a response he’ll realize what he did on his own and say, “I was shaking my head no, sorry.”

2. Reaching into total darkness to touch his shoulder and touched his armpit instead.

3. Dropped something from my bag onto his messy car floor and asked him to find it for me because it all looks blurry and grey-black down there, even without sunglasses

4. Sensed he was going for a high five and I gave him a perfect high five. Surprised, he wanted to test it again. I completely missed.

5. “We’re passing the oil refinery, so enjoy hearing, touching, smelling, tasting that.” plus 3 other identical jokes on the same drive. “Hey, can you stop making blind jokes, I’m starting to hate them these days.” “When did that happen?” “When one not-great classmate slash sort of friend made them all the time.” “That’s a shame.” “Blind jokes from sighted people are also super repetitive. The only blind jokes I seem to like are from other blind people.”

6. Him: “You’re rolling your eyes behind your sunglasses, I can tell!” 

7. Once we saw snow once our way driving home from Las Vegas. It was March, it was after midnight, and the warmest it had been at any point in that night was 40 degrees Fahrenheit (4.4 degrees Celsius. That’s a real comparison?? That’s a scary number to an American who’s barely ever left California. We were driving through the mountainy area of California where the temp really drops and for three seconds we saw snow in the wind. Well, he saw it. Something moved, it was small and flaky but like... that was actually snow and I couldn’t see it? (this was three, almost four years ago)

8. Last weekend we drove around the rich neighborhoods to look at Christmas decorations because I love Christmas lights because for ones light actually looks pretty instead of painful and I can see it at night without hurting, so it’s nice. I love the pretty visual things. Blindness will not take the pretty visual things from me! And the decorations just make me so happy and I wanted to do that last year but never did, so we did that this year

9. I also told him about the cripple punk tag on Tumblr last weekend and he was delighted to know it exists because he’s got other chronic health issues including downright awful knees.

Other blind things not directly involving my best friend

1. I have paused writing to ask a sighted person if it’s realistic for my sighted characters to see X item from Y distance away. Usually my dad with his stupidly perfect vision.

2. Realizing I’m forgetting what sighted people can see. It’s been four years since I saw like a normal person. And all my sighted memories are literally blurry from age.

3. But I still have dreams where I see normally. And then dreams where everything is too bright like in real life and I cannot see and what is happening???

At home, specifically

1. I have three cats who I can’t tell the difference between. I have a small black and brown tabby cat. A black and orange tortie cat who is slightly heavy but medium build. An all black cat who is huge and has the longest fur I’ve ever touched on a cat. I cannot tell the difference between them until I’m up close. Especially if the lighting bad.

2. Tonight I almost set my laptop on top of Remy, my brown and black tabby, because I didn’t see here a foot away from me, curled up next to my leg, somehow blending in with my orange and blue comforter. Her concerned look I did see and was horrified by my almost fuck up and apologized profusely for.

3. Cannot see Felix, my black cat, half the time if the lighting is bad and have almost sat on him, put my feet in his face, tripped over him, etc. because he blends into the shadows and oh my fucking god I cannot see that.

Note: Remy cuddles with me all the time. Felix adores me but will not be caught dead cuddling anyone because dignity, but if he’s in my room and nobody’s around to see he’s insistent on cuddling. Rio (black and orange tortie) is devoted to my mum, and she knows she makes me nervous when she suddenly jumps on me and I get really shifty and squirmy and not fun to cuddle with, so we’re cool and I give her pets but she doesn’t usually crawl onto me unless she wants to make my mum jealous.

4. Can sneak up on family members and friends because I move so quietly, so at least there’s that. Not a blind thing, but it makes up for some things.

5. Have walked up to someone I thought was a friend, realized I don’t know them, and the first thing out my mouth was “Wait, who are you?” and then a close friend (and the party host) grab me by the shoulders and say, “That’s not how we talk to people,” and just like, where are your manners Mimzy, wtf, but I never saw that stranger again so it’s okay.

Side Note: blindness aside, I do have a habit of just rudely speaking my mind in not-appropriate settings because I just don’t care and don’t have the anxiety to at least act like I care. They’re very satisfying, but usually very rare moments.

6. Please stop moving things around the house!

7. “What do you mean there are cobwebs?” *Shines a flashlight at the dark corners of my room* “oh my god...”

8. Me, to my family members, “Please close those curtains, light hurts. Please turn off that lamp, it’s too bright in here.” *me, later turns off most of the lights in the house* Family members: “Why is it so dark in here? I can’t see.” *Me, channeling my inner Toph Bei-Fong* “Oh no, what a tragedy!”

9. Mum is the only one who vaguely appreciates my light sensitivity because she also has snow vision (a mild case) and has a little light sensitivity, sometimes, on her bad days.

More Not Quite Appropriate Things!

There are so many things that I say only to realize that there is a very nearby stranger who heard that out of context and it sounded so bad.

1. Best Friend (while I’m walking down stairs just fine, by myself, don’t need anyone’s help, I can do it!) “There are eight steps.” “I don’t need your help.” “I know but--” “I’m fine!” “I’m just trying to help.” “I have too much ADHD to count to eight anyway!”

“I have too much ADHD to count to eight anyway,” is exactly what two strangers heard while walking right behind me.

Why would you sneak up on someone who’s so obviously blind??

2. “Sea foam green is an ugly color anyway.” I was in a mall, it was well lit and I was using my cane and managing with my crap vision, but I managed to see that specific color I hate on a dress right next to me, and the woman walking on the other side of the mannequin display heard that and did a double take on my obviously blind self.

Or so I’m told by my mom who could see what happened.

3. Similar to above, I was in the Artist Village in San Diego, which is a huge tourist trap, and I was sort of a tourist too, but it’s freaking outdoors, so I have the cane and sunglasses. And I’m in an Artist Village (very visual thing) with my parents, so out of place. And this random dude was apparently staring at me. Cannot see him, absolutely no idea which direction my mum is pointing towards, everything is blank and weird and not see-able, but I turned my head and by some miracle looked directly at him and he freaked out and looked away.

4. “Oh yeah, make fun of the blind person!” sarcastically, but loudly, somewhere public after a joke a friend had made that I was actually okay with.

5. “Driving and hiking are my two biggest weaknesses,” said out of context to people who didn’t know I was blind.

6. “I forgot you were blind.” “Well I didn’t.” More channeling of Toph, I think.

7. “Why can’t you drive?” *points to cane* *he does not get it* “It’s very illegal for me to drive.” *does not get it* “They’re blind dude,” classmate says. “Very blind.” “You seem to get around just fine,” says the man who only see me indoors with the very best lighting scenario for my vision. “Yeah, but that’s because I have the cane.” “So?” You seem just fine, he seems to think. How dumb are you? I definitely think. “Why do you need the cane?” “Because I would die if I didn’t have it. I have almost died. People would die if I tried to drive.”

8. Later: “Did he think you could just drive and use your cane to feel the road or something?” “I guess.”

9. More questions from other people who don’t know me very well asking why I can’t drive. “Because it’s illegal.” Their confusion is wondering specifically why it’s illegal rather than thinking I’m not actually blind. I explain the laws in the driving handbook, because I have read it (unlike some people I guess. How did you miss the ‘drivers must be able to see at least 20/40 with their best corrected eye” and I haven’t been in that category for two years.

Note: My day blindness came two years before my vision acuity reached visually impaired status. So, like, two years of wishing I had a cane but thinking “I’m not blind enough” and still being terrified in certain situations and risking my life walking around without one or some sighted guide.

Similar Public Things

1. I can see indoors pretty well so I get by on prescription glasses and no cane (I see 20/70 - 20/100 with glasses) but sometimes the mall is crowded and nobody gives me space and I’m just not comfortable getting so close to people, so I bust out my cane (and maybe my sunglasses too) so I look extra blind and people will give me the space to walk without running into someone.

2. Have also done that just because the indoor lights were also too bright and I need my sunglasses.

3. Have stared at my phone in public with cane/sunglasses, or tried taking photos with it, and I get so many weird looks because blind people see nothing I guess, none of us have any vision at all! (read sarcasm)

4. Walking into a coffee shop I’ve been to before and I know they change their teas all the freaking time. Also got the cane. “Hi, can you tell me what iced teas you have right now?” “Oh, they’re all on that sign.” *blank look* Do you not realize I’m blind? I’m thinking. “What kind of black tea do you have? Do you have any tropical black tea?” (because they usually do and I love tropical black tea, and they did that day too, so I ordered that.)

5. I cannot read menus. Those restaurants that have the menus above the register are awful, evil. Cannot read. In the wonderful days of my childhood I didn’t have prescription glasses for my moderately not great but still mostly functional vision (my dad has perfect vision and no concept whatsoever about what it’s like to not be able to see those things!) So imagine my parents dragging me to restaurants like that and I’m 10 years old and supposedly can read perfectly fine but I cannot read that menu and I think it’s some personal character fault of mine that I just don’t know how to read those kinds of menus, so I have to ask my mum to help me choose a food to order and eat, and then that’s the only thing I ever order any time I ever go back. So, I’m quickly getting sick of those places because I only eat one item there and I want to try something new with a restaurant with those nice hand held menus, but those are sit-down restaurants and apparently they cost more money, sooo...

6. That was a rant I went on with my best friend last weekend

Side note: It’s almost 4 am, my mum just woke up, saw the light on in my room from under the crack of my door and said hi. I’m at a point right now where she just expects it and isn’t one to judge (unlike my dad who has zero insomnia because he has hypersomnia and I don’t know how humans do that)

Side Note Ten Minutes Later: My laptop is at 10% but I plugged it in because dammit I am finishing this tonight and it will have all the things.

7. “Hey, where’s the trash can? I can’t find one.” *also mistakes a trashcan and a human being just sitting still. All the time* “Why not just litter then?” best friend asks, knowing exactly how I’ll respond. “I have manners!”

8. I hate traveling even a little by myself. My orientation and mobility skills with my cane aren’t that bad, but they’re not good enough for me to feel comfortable walking around by myself anywhere that isn’t super familiar with routes I already have practiced and memorized (school, close friend’s houses or apartments, the blocks in my neighborhood I’ve walked 500 times coming too and from school or walking dogs with my parents). Anywhere unfamiliar or wide/open or crowded or God Forbid, OUTSIDE is a source of terror and will not let my traveling companions leave me alone for longer than a few minutes and certainly not walk away on my own.

9. Will not go to bars because I present female and I am visibly disabled and that makes me look like an easy target and why would I risk that unnecessarily?

I’m gonna cut it off here. This is a long post, and I need to just finally go to bed. Goodnight. I hope you enjoyed it. Feel free to send anons with commentary or reblog with commentary. I’d like to know that someone liked this.

[theexleynatureblog]

Sorry, but letting your cat outside is a sign of a lazy owner.

Scientists estimate there is between 60million to 160million feral cats in the US. July, 2018.

“Bring in the dog and put out the cat!” - Yakety Yak. Letting our cats outside is almost a part of Western culture, since the days of Fred and Wilma. But we should all no by now that a cultural norm doesn’t make something automatically right.

At the end of every episode, Fred Flintstone let’s the family saber-toothed cat outside, only for the cat to jump back inside through the window and lock Fred out of the house.

Unfortunely, real-life cats aren’t as responsible. If you let your cat outside, and they are comfortable, they will take advantage of the opportunity. I know from experience living in a house with five outdoor-cats.

An article from Battersea.org gives instructions on how to safety introduce your cat to the outdoors, stating ‘your cat may want to explore.’

Well, of course they do! They’re a cat! It’s like telling a human they may want to walk. Here’s the thing: animals are high-wired to do what they want, not what they should. Because in the wild, the things they want is to find food and hunt, which helps them to survive. A captive cat doesn’t need to do that, but they’ll still have that interest in the outdoors and the high-energy associated with it.

The biggest arguments I hear for letting cats outside it ‘it’s their nature’, ‘they deserve freedom’, ‘they need the exercise/stimulation’. This is true. Cat’s are living animals who are designed to expend energy, just like us. Exercise is essential to a pet’s health, and as a pet owner, it’s your job to make sure they’re getting what they need. 

The problem is, if you’re doing this by letting your cat roam the neighborhood unsupervised, you’re doing it very wrong.

A cat wheel, recommended for owners of high-energy cats, like Bengals.

First, I’m before I list the many reasons to not let your cat outside, I’m going to list alternatives.

Number one - play

Did you buy a box of cat-toys for your new kitten? Did your new cat play with them a little bit and then loose interest playing by themselves? Purina recommends two 20minutes play sessions for your kitten every day. This time can change depending on your cat’s energy level. Obviously, a really active cat will need more, and an older cat may need less. You cant just dump a box of toys on the living room floor an expect your cat to keep itself busy all day like a toddler would, you have to engage with them!

Cat’s ‘play’ as an extension of their hunting instincts. They’re not doing it to pass the time, they’re doing it to learn and practice how to kill things. The key to productive play is thinking like prey. That long rope? Pretend it’s a snake. Grab that mouse toy and bounce it around in front of your cat like you think an actual mouse would move. Don’t poke or bonk your cats with they’re toys - its not encouraging their hunting instincts and may just make them annoyed and not want to play.

Aside from keeping them stimulated, playing with your cats every day can strengthen their bond to you. A happy and tired cat will have no interest in going outside. The amount of time you’d expect to play with/walk your dog is the same amount, maybe a little less, you should expect to spend on your cat. If you don’t have the time of day to take care of a dog, don’t get a cat.

Also, FYI, don’t use your hands as a toy, especially with kittens. A bad cat bite can put you in the hospital with a serious infection - even if your cat has lived indoors all it’s life. Using your hand to play instead of toys will teach kittens that your hand is in fact a toy. Good luck trying to pet them later.

Number Two - Cat furniture

Ever heard of puppy-proofing? Well, cat proofing is also a thing! If you want to take on the responsibility of owning a pet, be prepared to rearrange your entire house - and buy some new stuff. Cat’s are designed to climb and travel, so they may try to jump to to the tallest places in your house. Don’t want them up there? Consider getting a dog. Spray bottles and scolding may work, but unless you’re giving them an alternative to flex their muscles, it’ll only lead to behavioral problems down the road. 

Cat walks are a fun and safe way to let your cat have the run of the house. Not only will it be fun for them, but it’ll make them feel safer. If you cat feels trapped, it may hide a lot of the time. This is especially important if you bring another cat into the house. One cat acting scared may invite the other cat to attack. Cat-walks give your cat the advantage to ‘oversee their kingdom’, and escape a situation that makes them uncomfortable. 

But, I wouldn’t expect everyone to have this. If you rent your home, can’t afford this, or can’t build it yourself, it’s not an option. But you can be aware of how you arrange your furniture and shelves. If the cat’s gonna jump up on stuff, you might as well make sure it’s safe. 

The bare minimum cat furniture you need (besides a litter box) are scratching posts. Even a declawed cat will want one, because they’re not just shedding nails - they’re marking their territory.

Most predators have a way of marking territory to keep invaders away. Cats do too, with a host of special glands. One of those is called an interdigital (inter-digital) gland located - you guessed it - between their toes, or digits. In the wild, when cats scratch on trees, they are rubbing that scent gland on the bark, to warn other cats this is their territory. 

Your indoor cat probably won’t have to worry about invaders, but they will still want to use that gland. In their minds, your house is their territory that they must defend. This is why litter boxes are also important.

You may have seen pictures or videos of cats being trained to use and even flush toilets. It may be cute, but its actually not that great from a cat behavior standpoint. This article from The Dodo does a good job of explaining why NOT to potty-train your cat.

Don’t wanna deal with litter boxes? Get a dog! Because with cats, litter boxes are essential. Not only does it give your cat a place to do its business, but it allows them to exercise more of their natural behaviors. After all, ‘natural behaviors’ are the reason owners let their cats outside, right?

For every cat, there should be one litter box plus one extra. Two cats should have a total of 3 litter boxes, and so on. The boxes should be scooped once a day, with their litter changed about once a week - depending on specific needs. Sounds like a lot of work? Yeah - it is! Plus the smell of ammonia isn’t pleasant. If you don’t want to deal with this - Don’t. Get. A. Cat. 

Naturally, people look for short cuts, like training their cat to use the toilet, or letting them outside to do its business. Hey, it works for dogs, don’t it? Well - cats aren’t dogs. They have different behavior. While you can count on that fence keeping your dog in your yard, your cat is going to parkour over that like nothing. While dogs will go anywhere they feel comfortable, cats have an instinct to bury their feces. According to Live Science, this helps them hide from other predators. Cats can be eaten by anything bigger than them, and they know it. It’s a behavior that gives them security. Think about it like having a lock on the bathroom door - in a public place. Would you be brave enough to go without it? Personally, I’d hold it until I got home. Cats probably feel the same way, so they’re going to want to find substrate that’s easy to bury stuff in - fresh soil in a flower bed, or little Jimmy’s sandbox.

This is also why toilet-training is a bad idea. It’s not a natural behavior for cats, and it denies their instincts to bury their waste and mark their territory. Also, what happens when your cat gets elderly or injured, and they can’t jump onto the seat for a few days?

Your Cat can still enjoy the outdoors.

Did you know they make cat leashes? That’s right, you can allow your cat to transverse the yard and neighborhood in safety! The downside of this is cat’s don’t tend to be as excited about walks as dogs do. When I bought a harness and leash for my cat, they plopped on their side and refused to move. I never got to take him on a walk.

If your cat is similarly lazy, that doesn’t mean its impossible, it just means training will be required. With the right balance of motivation and knowledge, a pet can be trained to do anything physically possible. Yes, it’s consistent work and slow progress, but exactly the thing a good pet owner should be willing to do. If your cat is staring out the window and practically running out the door, then they might not even need training. With a lease, you can prevent your cat from killing small animals, keep them from climbing too high in a tree, and keep them out of the street and away from possibly dangerous animals.

On that note, now may be a good time to list the reasons why NOT to let your cat outside! (Warning, this next section may contain intense images of blood, violence, and dead animals. Reader discretion is advised).

Parasites.

Hold onto your stomachs, everyone! We are not taking the gentle road.

When I say parasites, I’m not just talking about fleas and ticks - very common and very overlooked. There are worse things out there. Toxoplasma, for one. This parasite that causes flu-like symptoms sheds from cat feces, and it can be much worse for pregnant mothers (this is why your doctor recommends not cleaning a litter-box while pregnant). To make matters worse, its one of the most common parasites in the world, spreading by - don’t throw up on me - fecal-oral contact, which is exactly what it sounds like. A cat can host the parasite without any symptoms and spread to humans, and that’s not the only one.

Outdoor cats are much more likely to get parasites and harmful bacterial. This is because they consume wild animals harboring parasites, and they can pick up stuff from the environment. A squirrel could defecate somewhere that a cat walks, and later licks themselves to clean. Boom! Infected. Now, your outdoor cat could spread stuff like toxoplasma to your neighbors! There’s your neighbor, working in their flower garden, unaware your cat used it for the bathroom (and buried it). Ope, now she’s whipping her nose with her unwashed hand! Boom! Infected.

Want to learn something really crazy? Cat parasites have made their way to aquatic mammals!

This National Geographic Article gives more information on how the ‘Kitty Litter’ parasite has made it to marine whales and dolphins. This is due to feral and stray cats defecating near waterways that eventually wash out to the ocean. While cats and some terrestrial mammals can host the parasites with out any major symptoms, marine mammals are very different. They are the incorrect hosts for these parasites, and anyone who’s studies parasites (like me) knows, parasites in the wrong host is a recipe for disaster. AKA, death. And like many other species, our marine mammals are going through enough troubles right now.

If you keep your cat inside and use a litter box, there is still a risk of infection, but you’ve significally lowered the potential spread. I say, anyone you takes the responsibility of cleaning a cat box is a hero. I mean that from the bottom of my heart. You are doing your cat and your neighborhood a huge favor. I sincerely thank you. So, when you’re scooping or changing litter, wear gloves, wear a mask, don’t touch your face, and wash your hands thoroughly afterword's. Also, take note of the condition of your cats dropping. Sometimes, to can clearly see worms, or something may just not look right. Remember - as an owner, it’s your responsibility to monitor your pets health. If you see something that doesn’t look right, you can take them to the vet. You can’t do this if you let your cat outside to do there business in the garden a few houses down.

High Death Rate

For feral cats, lifespan is typically two years. 50% of kittens don’t survive their first couple of days. Cats are killed by anything from car collisions, poison, coyotes, raccoons, raptor birds, and other cats. Male cats constantly fight each other for territory and access to females. 

This brings up an interesting question. If cat’s death rate is so high, how are there so many in every town? A couple reasons.

Cats have a lot of kittens - multiple litters within a year. Even if only 50% of those kittens survive, that’s a lot of cats that are ready to breed themselves not long after. 

Another reason is artificial healthcare. What this means is people will feed, spay/neuter, or rescue injured animals, and then release them. Because of their cuteness, cat’s have a charisma advantage over native predators in a neighborhood like coyotes and raccoons. No one’s going to trap a coyote with a broken leg to take it to the vet. I know that if I hit a cat with my car, and it was still alive, I would definitely rush it to emergency care. Supplemental feeding goes hand-in-hand with this. When people see a large cat colony outside, they may want to leave food out for them to help them out. Cats will eat the food, but it won’t end there. You may end up attracting more cats to an area, increasing the population. But if you were to suddenly stop feeding them, the extra cats are going to starve. You have only provided the animals with limited extra resources. Also, more cats in an area may lead to more fighting amongst them.

Because cats have a high death rate, the population’s method of survival is putting out high numbers. Feral and stray cats are constantly competing for food and running from dangers, and the ones who can put up with the suffering the most survive. This is the reality of nature. Nature is not a garden of Eden with fairies dancing with deer. This is the brutality you are exposing your pet cat to when you let them wonder alone outside. 

Cats Kill Stuff

Cats are one of the few animals that kill for fun. Its not that they’re sadistic - they’re instincts tell them to bat that thing that moves, and they’ll do it until the thing escapes or stops moving. People automatically think about birds and small mammals, but cats will also eat insects, amphibians, and reptiles.

Some people swear by this argument, and some people counter the argument by saying stuff like ‘yeah, but windows and windmills kill more birds!’. Really? That’s your argument? Can you imagine if we said that about serial killers? Oh, its not a big deal if Freddy killed a few woman, James over there has killed a lot more!

Like... okay, that’s not as bad, but... we should still do something about it.

Cats, windows, and windmills. Instead of looking at these as three separate problems that we can only solve one at a time, step back and look at the big picture. “Human-caused fatality.”  An article from the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Services talks about migratory bird fatality numbers and causes. You’ll see a handful of different causes, each with different solutions needed.

You can’t solve a problem by pointing your finger at someone and say “They’re doing it worse”. EVERYONE involved in the problem has to do their part and correct it. For example, window collisions with birds can be decreased by window stickers and ecologically-mindful building planning (not building tall things in high-traffic bird routes). 

These small, decorative stickers can help prevent bird-strike deaths.

Another angle to combat the problem is reducing industrial-caused mortality. Open oil pits are a hazard to migratory birds, who land in and ingest the oily water as they migrate. The Migratory Bird Treaty Act hold companies who do not cover their ponds accountable for ‘preventable fatalities’. However, the Trump Administration recently attempted to roll back regulations like these, in order to increase profit of oil and gas companies. Contacting politicians and being a thoughtful voter can prevent policies like these, and save birds and wildlife.

Of course, cat owners can put their foot forwards to help save wildlife life by keeping their pets inside or on a leash. People argue ‘cat’s are natural hunters. So what if they kill a few birds?’. Okay, well, first of all, if you look carefully at the stats, its clearly not just ‘a few birds’. Second, do you know what kinds of birds? No? I don’t either. In fact, we have no control what kind of bird/reptile/mammal your cat will kill. They kill whatever they can catch. This includes endangered species.

This website lists North America’s Endangered Animals. Notice that some of these animals are large mammals, like cougars. But most of the species are small animals that cats are capable of catching and killing. And cats don’t care if a species is endangered. Now, I’m confident that NONE of these species are threatened by cats alone. That’s not how nature works, it takes more than one factor to wipe out a species. Species like the Yellow-legged Mountain Frog are threatened by predation, disease, habitat fragmentation, and climate change (which can make diseases and parasite spread worse). A road through a wetland may not look like a big deal, but that may as well be a ocean for small amphibians and reptiles to cross.

Not only do these animals risk getting crushed by pedestrians and vehicles, but they have no cover from predators - and predators WILL exploit these places. Keep in mind, these animals can’t always just pack up and go - they need specific resources for food, shelter, and reproduction. Some turtles will nest in the gravel of a road because it provides the best substrate for digging a nest. This includes suburban areas - where your cats are waiting. When you add exotic animal predation pressure to a species already suffering from diseases and habitat loss, well - that’s how we lost the passenger pigeon.

In conclusion, please find ways to keep your cat healthy and happy without allowing them to roam unsupervised outside. There are programs that help remove feral colonies using live animal traps, but there are others, like places in Australia, that use lethal means. I don’t like the idea of killing cats. After all - they are adorable, and it’s not they’re fault they are there. That’s purely our fault for releasing out domestic cats into delicate ecosystems. As much as I love cats, I prioritize the health of our ecosystems and environment more, and that calls for removing large feral cat colonies. A few random barn cats of course is no problem, but the thousands of cats living in suburb yards needs to be reigned in. Whether it is done with live traps or kill traps is dependent on the people. One thing is for sure - if we don’t take responsibility for our exotic invasives, we will be paying for it for a long time in the future.

Sources

nola.com

American humane society

Caticles

US Fish and Wildlife Services

[cassolotl]

Autistic Christmas

Or, My Complex Feelings About Christmas as a Non-Christian Anticapitalist in Overlapping Atypical Neurotypes.

~

Wednesday 25th December 2019

~

Various things interact in my brain at Christmas.

I’m extremely not Christian. I was raised in a Christian society, had to sing hymns in assemblies in school, had Easter services in a church with my classmates, was given a Bible at a particular academic milestone... and always felt very uncomfortable with all of that Christian stuff. I wasn’t asked if I wanted to join in or if I believed, it was just assumed that I would come around to it. The idea that it might be unethical to raise children in a religion, or just that the child might not benefit from it, never crossed anyone’s mind. The various teachings were sometimes nice but mostly felt to me like inconsistent and untrue stories and attempts to manipulate me, though clearly it was unintentional. I bet Jesus was awesome and I’d probably have liked him if I met him at a bus stop, but I don’t want this whole... religion thing about him.

Anti-capitalist. My first memory of buying clothes as a small child and being given a choice about what was bought for me, I remember rejecting all the choices available and asking for something without brand names or logos on it! I’m just anti-capitalist to my core, I think. And I would estimate that I attribute about 90% of the feeling of Christmas being imposed on me to capitalism, which has a selfish interest in sustaining a social structure of Christmas as a time for consumption, and then embedding that structure in as many people as possible until it feels like a tradition that emotionally sustains itself. So in addition to Christmas not really happening to me internally, I have to deal with Christmas happening to me a lot externally, whether I like it or not, and I usually do not.

My brain is bad with music. I like a lot of music, but I’ve learned slowly over time that if I listen to it I’m just giving my brain things to loop. I am very prone to earworms and find them very uncomfortable. I worked in WH Smith over Christmas one time and could happily never listen to another Christmas song ever again in my life. Sometimes Christmas music comes on and I start to feel inexplicably trapped with a sensation of dread. I recognise that it’s mostly good, pleasant, catchy, upbeat music with good message! I just can’t deal with it on a visceral level sometimes.

My situation growing up was not ideal. Christmas day meant my mum’s partner was home all day and probably drinking. I would have to buy him presents, even. We were told that Christmas is a time for giving to and spending time with people you love, so I didn’t understand why I had to do that with him.

I struggle a lot with things. Folks following me for a long time know that I go through phases of minimalism and decluttering, and because of environmental whatnot I can’t just throw out a perfectly good thing so I frequently sell stuff I don’t want. Christmas presents, especially from my family (we’re not that close), tend to be things I neither need nor want, but I feel guilty about getting rid of them immediately. It doesn’t matter how much I ask for zero presents and fail to buy presents back! I get gifts and I just don’t know what to do with them. Unless I trust that someone knows how to give me gifts, and to be fair that’s quite a lot of people, I generally find it stressful opening gifts in front of people.

I struggle with waste. I love that people bring living green trees into their homes during a time when the earth is sleeping, but then those trees die. I like that people have found artificial alternatives, but they’re plastic and planned to be obsolete and they are frequently thrown away. Christmas decorations are flimsy and disposable and bad for the environment to manufacture and discard. Many (not all) people buy gifts because they feel like they ought to, and then folks are stuck with stuff that they won’t use or want to keep. I’ll bet a lot of people end up throwing out food because they made too much. If all of these things make people feel happy and good then I’m definitely never going to argue that they’re bad or try to stop people from doing them, but I just... wish that these things could be more sustainable for the same amount of effort and cost.

I don’t deal well with time, and the social consequences of that are painful. I’m learning that this is probably an ADHD thing. In particular, the experience of events that fall on specific dates and times. That includes dentist appointments, anniversaries, weddings... and birthdays, and Christmas. The latter two are particularly difficult for me, because I know that a lot of other people don’t just like them and find them important, they specifically want to involve the people they love, and it comes with a sense of obligatory participation. If I forget someone’s birthday it is often hurtful to them, and the more we love each other the more it will hurt them. If someone can support me to participate then it’s easier, but it is still very difficult.

I am disabled and poor. I have enough money to get by with the occasional high luxury purchase (e.g. use savings to buy new laptop because old one is broken), but buying gifts for people is hella expensive and making gifts for people requires less fatigue and more executive function than I have.

What this means is, when people ask me how I feel about Christmas or what I’m doing at Christmas I generally feel quite uncomfortable. I just tell people that I like to spend Christmas on my own and I won’t be with my family and I like having the day to myself, but if it feels comfortable I will go into more detail and say some of the above, and then I feel like I am being a big grouch who hates Christmas, and I don’t hate Christmas, I just hate that it’s compulsory and I feel uncomfortable when my going against the grain is so visible and can be interpreted to mean that I am a grumpy bastard.

Having said that, there are things that I like about Christmas.

Apocalypse vibe. There are no cars on the road, there are no shops open, everyone is in a warm cosy house with their loved ones opening presents... You can go for a little walk and meet hardly anyone and just walk right down the middle of a road for several minutes without being hit by a car! It’s the only day of the year when I feel peaceful when the sun is up.

No one is going to ask me to do anything. No emails from social workers, no bills, no reminders to make appointments, no PAs coming to help me do life things, no letters to send... and it’s understood that everyone has plans and everyone has a right to do whatever they want because it’s a special day, like everyone having a state-mandated birthday on the same day. Although, if someone needed their cat feeding over Christmas I would totally do it! I like the idea of enabling someone else to have a nicer special time.

Sharing light. It’s the dark time of year, and I like that a lot of faiths have a tradition of bringing light. That makes sense to me. On the solstice I often light a candle in the window at sundown and leave it lit until I go to bed, and that feels good. I usually do it on Christmas eve and Christmas day too, and any other days I’m in the mood.

Feasting. Winter is generally a less productive time of year in terms of food production, so a lot of faiths also include some tasty food, and that makes sense to me too!

So, since Christmas here in the UK is compulsory, my reclaiming of it for myself looks something like this, in approximately this order...

A minimal morning routine. Only the essentials and things that make me feel comfortable.

A little bit of tidying and admin. I always feel better when I do that, but I rarely remember, unless I’m having a day that’s 100% alone and about me. Getting some admin and clutter out of the way feels like an investment and a gift to my future self.

Opening presents. I have a little rainbow tinsel tree, and I put any presents I get around it, and sometime usually a bit before lunch I get a feeling that is a bit like, “oh, yes, I’m ready for presents now.”

Feast. I often manage to prep ingredients the day before, and it usually involves these essential components that I mostly ignore the rest of the year: nut roast, roast potatoes, roast Brussels sprouts, vegetarian pigs in blankets, peas, gravy.

Plants. I guess this is my equivalent to the tree phenomenon. I tend to all my houseplants and outdoor plants, repot anything that needs it, prune anything that needs it. Winter is less green, so I might also get the urge to invest some energy in adding to the overall future green in the world by sowing something. This autumn I successfully rooted and potted up some willow stems, so I feel quite satisfied with my planty achievements.

A candle in the evening at sundown. It’s important to share light in dark times. This often goes with a cosy winding down routine.

Some kind of gentle movie/TV. For a while the Doctor Who Christmas special was perfect, and now I don’t have a TV licence and Doctor Who doesn’t do Christmas specials any more, so maybe something like that but on Netflix?

A lot of my difficulties with Christmas come down to being autistic, with a smattering of ADHD and a troublesome upbringing. If I were with others I would feel drawn to help out with food, open gifts in front of people... and I’d either have to do those things, or explain why I’m not doing those things. Whichever I choose is differently exhausting.

I think in the right (for want of a better word) environment I could probably become a person who would rather be surrounded by loving family than be alone, and I'm open to it, but there are some complex and somewhat painful feelings tangled up in Christmas for me so it's going to take time.

To me, spending Christmas day alone feels very indulgent and luxurious. I can ignore everyone else in the world and initiate only if I completely want to, without judgement.

The Maori word for autism is 'takiwatanga', which translates as '[their] own time and space', and Christmas day is the one day of the year that I can fully and joyfully embody that.

[lamiasluck]

All I Want for Christmas Is...

(This is based off my previous Illinois and Yancy thing. So read that for context!)

Summary: It's wintertime and coming close to the holidays. Yancy and everyone else in the prison have lots of plans for celebrations! Though Yancy finds himself all alone every time visitation day rolls on by. Illinois on the other hand... is just as lonely. Harsh winters meant there were little adventures to be had. More often then not he had to stay at home with nothing to do.

Maybe it's finally time for the two to reconnect again.

Characters: Illinois & Yancy

Words: 1772

Chapter 2 

Read on AO3!

-

It was that time of year again. Thick blankets of snow covered the outside as far as the eye could see. For Yancy, that meant that everyone was cooped up inside the prison with little to do. For Illinois, that meant he had to stay in his house with absolutely nothing to do.

The adventurer let out a heavy sigh as he lay in bed. Winter was by far his least favourite season. There were few places to adventure, and besides, staying outside in these conditions left him at high risk for hypothermia. So he stayed at his house by himself. Sure, occasionally he went to a bar to socialize, but that got boring quickly. He needed more, needed a thrill. He had no choice but to wait this out. Day by day, hour by excruciating hour.

Being alone in a cave was one thing. Being alone in a house was another thing entirely. He wasn’t feeling the holiday spirit, that was for sure.

A sudden weight placed on his chest made him open his eyes, where he met face to face with his cat. Ellie, a black cat with golden eyes, stared unblinking at her owner and waited.

While cute, Illinois knew exactly what Ellie wanted. Food. He stroked along her back and closed his eyes again. “Just five more minutes...”

“Mrrow!” roared Ellie. Her tail swished around with impatience. She firmly placed her paws on his chest and kneaded his shirt, hard.

Illinois jolted awake at the sensation. “Alright, alright I’m up!” he sighed as he stood up. Ellie was already dashing to the kitchen, meowing in victory. The snow meant she couldn’t go out either, which was a shame considering she loved the outdoors as much as he did. Perhaps she became antsy from that fact. Illinois knows he feels the same.

There was nothing planned for today, much to his frustration. He had no one to talk to either. Besides Ellie, of course, but he couldn’t get an exciting conversation out of her. He hasn’t had an adventure partner in a while now that he thinks of it.

His last partner was Yancy.

His brows furrowed as he thought about the convict. Oddly enough he began to miss his loud attitude. An attitude like that could liven up his place.

-

Yancy never minded the snow. Sure, he had to stay inside, but that was never too big of a problem. More often than not, he and the other prisoners found ways to entertain themselves. They sang festive carols, decorate the prison with little things the guards gave them, and tried their best to keep a jolly attitude. The holidays held a special place in their hearts, to say the least. Though Yancy didn’t have as much to look forward to compared to the others.

Around this time of year allowed another opportunity. Extended visitation periods. When Yancy sat by the tables at lunch, he heard everyone talk about who’s going to visit them. Family, significant others, friends… Everyone had someone to look forward to. All except him.

Sometimes there was envy blossoming in his heart whenever he heard them talk, but he’d never show it. A smile and a strong voice could do wonders for his act. No one suspected a thing. So whenever Yancy went back to his cell, all alone, he had the time to reflect on his situation. Maybe he should ask for a cellmate. Perhaps it was simply the company he was missing.

The last cellmate he had was Illinois.

Nothing surprised him more than the fact he actually grown to miss that bastard. Maybe it was his previously mentioned loneliness, maybe he got attached too quickly, but a part of him felt like he didn’t have anyone else to talk to. Not like how he and Illinois talked, at least. There was no inequality between them. The other prisoners respected him as a leader, but that meant there was always a sense of superiority between him and them. Illinois definitely didn’t respect him as a leader. That pissed him off at first, however later on it just felt like they were friends.

Christ, has he never had a friend before?

When Illinois gave him that flip phone all those months ago, he made sure to hide it well. Usually that meant hiding it under his pillowcase, rolling it in his sleeve instead of his cigarettes, and so forth. He hasn’t used it yet though, hasn’t come up with a reason to. This couldn’t be considered a good reason probably ---what was a good reason to call?--- but there was no harm in being self indulgent every once and awhile, right?

Illinois’ number was the only thing the phone had. Why Illinois gave him such an old phone was a mystery to him, but then again, he probably gave all his adventure partners a phone like this. Once the lights were off and the guards eased up on their patrol, he snuck out the phone and called. As the phone rang, he began to regret his decision more and more.

Damnit, he’s probably busy. Why the hell did I call? I should hang up-

“Hello?” Illinois’ voice was staticky in the phone’s speakers, breaking him out of his thoughts. Yancy felt his stomach drop upon hearing it.

Too late to back out now. Yancy cleared his throat, keeping his voice low in order to not be found out. “Uh... hey freebird. How’s it goin’?”

“Yancy?” Illinois sat up from his position on the couch. He turned off whatever program he was barely paying attention to, fully focused on Yancy’s sudden call. “I didn’t think you’d call.”

“Yeah, well...” Yancy pressed his lips together in a tight line. “I just wanted to check up on youse.” He bit his tongue as soon as he said that. No, that sounds weird. I don’t give a shit about him. “I didn’t know if your dumbass died or somethin’.” Saved it.

Illinois laughed through the poor speakers. “I could say the same to you, jailbird. I’m surprised someone hasn’t put you in your place yet.”

“You’s the only one that came close, and we both know how that went.”

“Yeah, I kicked your ass.”

“As if!” Yancy quickly covered his mouth, staring wide eyed at the cell bars. Once the coast was clear, he spoke again in a more hushed tone. “Youse lucky I didn’t kill ya.”

More laughter. “You believe whatever you want… but in all seriousness, is there any reason you called? Sorry to burst your bubble, Yancy, but now’s not a good time for adventuring.”

“Oh, sorry." Damnit, I knew this was a bad idea. "Was I only supposed to call youse for adventurin’?”

“No, I just didn’t think you’d call for anything else.”

“I just wanted to talk to ya, freebird,” Yancy blurted out. He shut his mouth tight afterwards, but it was too late.

“Is that so?” The speaker could mask the genuine shock in Illinois’ voice. Though he pick pick up his charm easily. “Sounds like you fell in love with me~”

“Right, right ‘cause me callin’ youse means I wanna suck your dick. Youse shut your trap.” Yancy couldn’t roll his eyes harder even if he tried. However, there was a certain nostalgia within their bickering. “Nice to hear that youse didn’t change.”

“Nice to hear you in the holiday spirit.”

Yancy snorted. “Yeah, we’s got a whole thing goin’ on ‘ere,” he said, changing the subject. “What youse doin’ for Christmas, freebird? Got a big adventure where youse like, find Santa or somethin’?”

“Find Santa? What the hell, Yancy?” Illinois whispered to himself with a confused expression. “Well, no, I don’t have anything planned. I’m probably gonna stay at home-”

“By yourself?!” With furrowed brows, Yancy sat up in a mix of shock and confusion. He glanced at his cell door, but the guards finding him out was the last of his worries now.

Illinois always spent his holidays by himself, but why did he feel so bad about it now? Yancy’s tone sounded concerned. It made Illinois feel much more alone than he already did in his house. Nonetheless he continued to his mask his worries. “Well, yeah…? Who would I be with?”

Yancy rubbed the back of his neck as he frowned. “I dunno I thought youse would have some broad wit’ ya.”

“I haven’t had another partner after you left.”

He sputtered when he heard that. “Oh, now who sounds like they’s fell in love?!”

“It’s not like that, don’t get your hopes up,” Illinois laughed. “No one wants to adventure right now.” This time of year must be a real buzzkill for every adventurer because it certainly wasn’t his fault. How would pass up an opportunity to adventure with him, after all? “Maybe you can come over and spend Christmas with me. Promise I’ll make it worth your time~”

He considered it. He really, really considered escaping again. But it’d be too much trouble all for one guy. “I can’t, the others want to celebrate together. It’d be nice though.” He didn’t care about Illinois that much, it’s too risky. “Maybe youse could visit though.” Unless…

“That wouldn’t end well.” Like a burst bubble, Illinois tried to pop his idea immediately.

“Youse don’t know that.” However, he wasn’t having any of that. This was just as, if not more risky than escaping again, but it wasn't impossible. “Yeah… actually I could make it happen.” While in his train of thought, he heard footsteps approaching. “Oh, shit someone’s coming. I’ll talk to youse soon, Illinois.”

“What? Wait, Yancy what are you-” It was too late. Yancy hung up before he could get another word in.

He recently escaped from that place months ago. Returning there was the last thing he could ask for. What was he going to do anyways? Stroll in there like normal? As much as he believed his conscious was squeaky clean, on paper he was an ex-convict. Which he still thought was utter bullshit, however his ---very valid--- opinion didn’t matter in jail. Maybe Yancy could break him out again, but he really didn’t want to stay there again. That would be a lot of trouble for one guy.

Within the chaos of questions was a familiar feeling. A buzzing thrill of adventure. Possible adventure, sure, but it gave a thrill nonetheless. Yancy was a man of surprises, and Illinois was a man that loved mysteries. So put he the phone down and decided to pack it in for tonight, waiting eagerly for another call. For once the lonely silence didn’t phase him.