#i know my preferred form of creativity will return in time

[clarissaexplainingitall]

very nice comment on that fic that i hauntingly need to edit the chapter for + update of the "hey this is great i hope to be able to read the end of this someday" no pressure variety, and honestly same. maybe i will try to get to that if i get any sleep this weekend. my life has become consumed by learning how to crochet and also finally getting back into reading my immense backlog of books alongside my brother

but now i have several crocheted chickens and the unimaginable chaos of work hell has finally begun to start quieting, and we've gone three whole months without a brutal death or new aggressive sudden cancer, so... we will see

[byuno-o]

ASTRO OBSERVATIONS I'VE OBSERVED (mostly about moon placements)

NOTE: PERSONAL OBSERVATIONS. HENCE, MIGHT NOT BE APPLICABLE FOR EVERYONE. ONLY FOR ENTERTAINMENT. HENCE, DISCRETION IS ADVISED. DO PROVIDE FEEDBACKS, I LOVE IT. :)

I have seen people with strong emotional responses having strong mars and debilitated moon placements. For example, one having strong Mars placements or degrees, in Mars ruled houses such as Scorpio mars and Aquarius moon might end up expressing their anger in a scathing way, you know: the kind of people who just know what to say to hurt you, or pull tricks which might be fatal for everyone surrounding them?

As much as I love my fellow Pisces, I just need to put this out: you need to put into the work in order to actually manifest what you want. You cannot just sit and wish for good things to come to you while you don't work on yourself.

Also, my friends with Pisces moons have a tendency to avoid the problems plaguing them, but they seem to become the biggest helpers when it comes to solving other people's problems. I often wonder if I should laugh for having such cool friends in times or need or cry for having friends who could careless for their own problems which in turn become the reason for their sufferings.

4) My Mom is have Taurus mars, and boy when they tell you that people with Taurus mars are the most chillest people you'll ever meet until you cross them the wrong way.

5) My father and I share the same moon sign, and I think he's the evolved version of Leo moon. I have this theory that a person's emotional evolvement is often related to their moon sign's sister sign. For example, my father has a Leo moon, but he rationalizes his emotions like an Aquarius moon would, keep things bottled up, and when he really has to speak, he'd speak about his emotions in a practical way--and often talk about the root causes as if he's delivering a motivational speech on self improvement.

6) on the other hand, my brother (youngest one) has Aquarius moon, and he is very dramatic, takes every word as a jab and has a very regal aura to him. Another example would be my two guy friends who have capricorn moon and cancer moon, and weirdly enough, the capricorn one is more emotionally charged than the cancer one, who is very mature when it comes to handing his emotions. The capricorn one is very sneaky, and is very petty to the ones who hurt him (I find it funny most of the time that he act like he is unfazed only to go to his social media and post shit about the person) It gives 'very mindful. But the cancer one is very nurturing, very motherly and respectful--even to the ones who disagree to him (he often debates a lot and often end up in verbal brawls) Although he can be scathing too.

7) Also, regarding the moon signs, I can see the changes forming within me these days. My solar return for this year has aquarius moon in my fourth house, and I have mellowed down, and feel very emotionally connected to my mother specially.

8) People with harsh aspects between their moon signs and saturn constantly fights against their own emotions, it's often like the fight between their mind and their heart. Hence they might try to be practical, but often end up expressing themselves in an opposite way.

9) I often imagine people with Libra moon with having a heart of gold, the 'very demure, very mindful' types. If they were to have their dark sides, I would think manipulations, and twisting words would be it. Do lemme know your thoughts on this.

10) With all my friends studying with me: we're in a creative field, I have noticed a pattern, their art preferences, and their dislikes regarding some aspects of art, are closely related to their moon signs. I have seen the ones having Sag moons gravitate towards creating pieces with many greens and purples, you know? Ecobrutalism but with a dash of futurism too? The most original ones in my opinions are the ones with pisces, leo and scorpio moons. my friends with those moon signs happened to always bring something new to the table. The most consistent ones with a very definitive art style are IMO, capricorn moon and cancer moon and aquarius moon. They'll make it happen, however.

THAT'S IT FOR TODAY. I HAVE BEEN AWAY FOR TOO LONG THAT THE OBSERVATIONS I HAD MADE (MOST OF 'EM) HAVE BEEN LOST. I NEED TO KEEP A NOTEBOOK OR SOMETHING. HEHEHEHE. DO LET ME YOUR THOUGHTS ON THIS, AND YEAH, I WHOLEHEARTEDLY WANT TO HAVE DISCUSSIONS COS BOY I NEED TO IMPROVE.

[em-dash-press]

Why Creative Writing Might Make You Anxious (Even If You Love It)

When I sit down to write, sometimes I get so anxious that my stomach gets queasy. It can happen even when I’m wondering if I’ll have time to write today.

Anxiety affects even the best writers, so let’s talk about why your favorite hobby might also put you on edge.

Your Stories Involve Topics You Care About

Great stories always have centralized themes. Your theme drives your plot, informs your character’s choices, and draws readers in.

They’re essential, but they can also be deeply meaningful. You might feel the weight of being a voice on the topic, even if you’re talking about it through a goofy or unrealistic story.

Solution: Remember that you’re continuing a conversation, not presenting yourself as the all-knowing leader on any given theme. Give your perspective and thoughts on the theme through your work. Your unique take is why your readers will pick up your work.

Your Work Relates to Your Past or Present

Inspiration comes from anywhere. You might get an idea while walking the dog, but you can also think of stories when reflecting on your past or present.

Sometimes that means opening up parts of our history that wounded us. They might still feel like pressing on a bruise, even if you’re only writing a story for yourself.

Solution: Be gentle with yourself if you’re writing about a deeply personal topic, event, subject, or period in your life. Recognize that your anxiety is likely your brain trying to protect you, not sabotage you. If you can’t let it wash over you and continue your writing, consider starting therapy before writing your short story or novel. OpenPath is a great affordable option, along with sliding-scale therapists in your town. You might need to process that sensitive subject before you can write about it.

Your Story Feels Complicated

Longer stories can be overwhelming, even if they’re stories we desperately want to finish. They might involve more plotlines than you’re used to handling or a bigger cast of characters you need to develop.

We grow as writers by taking on new creative challenges. A few things I want to remind you if you feel like this is the source of your creative writing anxiety:

There’s no rush to finish a story. Ever.

Give yourself extra time when you’re trying something new. You wouldn’t expect a new runner to finish a marathon in 2 hours.

Take breaks to reset your energy, especially when you feel frustrated or anxious.

It’s okay to not finish a story.

Read that one again.

It really is okay to not finish a story.

You might come back to it in a year or two or three when your plot management or character development skills are better. It’s never a mark of failure to leave a draft in a to-be-finished folder.

Solution: Read through the bullet points above. Be gentle with yourself. Practice in shorter story forms, even with the same characters. You always have the judgment-free choice to finish a story or delete it entirely.

You Don’t Have a Plot Outline

Free writing is great. It’s a completely valid way to write short stories and novels. Some people excel at it. Others need an outline.

You might feel anxious about your current writing sessions because you don’t know where your story is going or how it will end. It’s a normal thing to experience and doesn’t make you any less of a writer—even if creating a plot outline changes your writing method temporarily.

Solution: Acknowledge that it’s okay to change your writing process sometimes. Every story needs a different support structure. Write your story idea in a single sentence, then expand on it in a paragraph. You can transform that into a bullet-point list or outline that makes writing the story more manageable.

You Haven’t Been Writing For a While

Some writers dream of having the time to write every day. Others like to write, but wouldn’t want to spend hours every day with their latest draft.

No matter what you prefer, sometimes returning to the craft of writing can spark anxiety if it’s been a while since your last creative venture. Whether it’s motivated by guilt, embarrassment, or shame, you’re not alone. It’s a typical form of creative anxiety and it’s something you can absolutely handle.

Solution: Give yourself some slack. Writing routines always change. Sometimes life draws us away from our creative writing for months or years at a time. You’re still a writer. Whatever your story becomes will be valid.

You Have a Loud Inner Critic

We’ve all been there. You’re trying to write but your inner critic is holding you back. You might want to jump into editing so you only continue with a perfect draft. Maybe you’re constantly polishing your world-building or character details.

The pressure naturally translates into anxiety. It’s okay to step away from your work if this anxiety makes you uncomfortable. You can always return when your inner critic is distracted or you feel more naturally confident.

Solution: Ask that inner critic to take a backseat. They’ll give you a powerful advantage when you move from the writing phase into the editing phases. Linework and structural editing can always happen later. But to reach that point, you need a draft. Preferably, your worst draft possible. Go wild with your writing—that’s what a first draft is for.

-----

It’s okay to love creative writing and also feel anxious about it. I think the only time anxiety didn’t affect my writing was when I was a kid and had never received criticism, constructive or otherwise.

Be gentle with yourself as you reflect on your anxiety triggers and potential solutions. You’re in the for the long run. Sustainable help will be your best source of help.

[dribs-and-drabbles]

Get to Know Me Tag :)

I was tagged by @telomeke and @hughungrybear. Thanks for tagging me!

do you make your bed?

It depends... I live in the part of the world where it's usual to have a duvet in a duvet cover and a sheet covering the mattress, and I have a duvet twice the width of my bed so it usually doesn't get rucked up during the night, so when I get up I fold over the top third of the duvet to air out the mattress/sheet. If it's a work day, it will stay like this until I get home, then I will usually pull the duvet back over the bed. If it's a weekend, I might make the bed again midday. I like it when my bed looks made.

what's your favourite number?

I'm not sure why but I like the number 7, and then also the numbers 4 and 3 because they make up 7. I've never really considered numbers beyond single digits to be 'favourites'. But if I did it would be my birthday day. Oh and I don't really use favourite numbers as important passwords or pins or the such...jsyk.

what is your job?

The work I do is quite niche, so I never really want to say too much because I'm pretty discoverable online with a few key words...but then sometimes I really want y'all to know what I do because it's unusual (and, I think, quite cool!)...but without revealing too much I work in the arts sector - specifically dance.

if you could go back to school, would you?

School, as in aged 11-16? Absolutely the hell no. But school as in higher education, degrees, masters, or smaller qualifications for my general interests? Well, I sort of did a few years ago (*she looks at the calendar and realises it's more than 'a few'*). I did a Creative Writing Masters over 2019-2020, which was GREAT to do but sort of killed my spirit and drive to be a writer...but whatever, I can always pick it back up again in the future if it returns. I also went to classes to learn Swedish when I lived in Sweden and I'm going to a different language class now one evening a week. I enjoy studying...but I get too focused on getting good grades.

can you parallel park?

Yes but I only do it when the space is big enough for me to confidently do it (especially with all these sensors beeping nowadays) and usually only on the side of the road opposite to the steering wheel (I can drive on both sides of the road).

a job you had that would surprise people?

I think my whole career is probably surprising to people but in the sense that I think people are mostly confused because they don't really understand what I really do on a day to day basis.

do you think aliens are real?

I think it would be incredible if in this whole universe we are the only planet who has developed 'life'. Aliens don't necessarily have to be intelligent life like us (and that's debatable sometimes!), so yes, I think somewhere in this universe there is another planet which has the conditions for some form of life, whether we could survive there or not.

can you drive a manual car?

Yes, I learnt on one and have managed to adapt to both right-hand and left-hand gear sticks, although I'm still a little 'fumbly' with the right-hand gear stick. I prefer automatics when in a traffic jam but otherwise I'm happy to drive whichever. Sometimes it's good to have something to focus on when driving, so a manual is good. The problem happens if I've used different hire cars in a short period of time (which I need to do sometimes with work) and when I forget I'm in a manual and brake coming up to to a junction and just...stall because I forget to change down gears 😂

what's your guilty pleasure?

If a guilty pleasure is something I'd feel shy or embarrassed admitting or talking to others about...then it would probably be watching ql or reading fanfic 😂 Other than that I'm not sure I have anything...I enjoy what I enjoy and don't feel guilt over it.

tattoos?

No but I've always thought about getting one but I think the thought of the work I'd have to do to find someone I would really trust to permanently mark my skin means I've just never done it. But I would like some kind of minimalist abstract colour art that starts on my shoulder and trails down my arm. Maybe. I've never been able to find exactly what I'm imagining, which is also why I've never pursued it.

favorite color?

I think I'm in my blue stage in my life, looking at the majority of colours surrounding me, but I also like pops of red.

favorite type of music?

The music playlists I listen to most are 1) OSTs and similar style songs from all the qls I've watched over the past 3 years 2) the instrumental background music from all the qls I've watched and 3) Swedish pop (to keep the language fresh in my brain). I do like all kinds of music - just NOT drum and bass - anything can work for me in the right mood.

do you like puzzles?

Yes, although I don't often do them. I enjoy the 'escape room' type Exit games as well as sudoku, and for a few months several years ago I really got into hanjie puzzles.

any phobias?

I'm not sure if this is a phobia or not but I absolutely CANNOT deal with cotton wool. Just thinking about pulling it apart makes me want to crawl out of my skin and lay down in a bath of acid just to get away from it let alone actually TOUCHING it and pulling it apart 🤢🤮 The cotton wool pads are ok because they have smooth sides and I don't...pull 🤮 them 🤮 apart 🤮. Ok, I gotta stop talking about this now, I'm squirming in my seat.

favorite childhood sport?

I did gymnastics as a child, from about aged 8 to 13, but I don't know if that counts as a 'sport', although I did compete. I didn't really enjoy most ball sports as a kid.

do you talk to yourself?

ALL. THE. DAMN. TIME. I talk to myself in my head. I talk to myself out loud. Sometimes, if I'm talking to myself aloud about something important and then do something that means I can't continue (cleaning my teeth, drinking/eating etc) then for some reason I can't continue in my head. I have to wait until I'm finished to then talk out loud again. But I also talk to myself aloud when I'm out 😬 but I do it quietly and without moving my mouth too much so people don't notice. I was in a shop recently and a gentleman was talking to himself out loud (commenting on the offering of tea towels ikea had and wondering whether to buy any) - loud enough that I thought that he was actually talking to someone else but he wasn't - and I felt like I had a glimpse of my future if I wasn't careful 😂

what movies do you adore?

I don't watch a lot of movies nowadays - the last I saw was Barbie. But the one that has stayed with me as a favourite since I first saw it is Some Kind of Wonderful. And I love The Holiday as a Christmas movie (although I haven't watched it for ages). Oh and it's not a movie, so maybe doesn't count, but the BBC's adaptation of Pride and Prejudice has my whole heart.

coffee or tea?

I'm definitely a tea drinker (approx 3 cups of black Earl Grey plus one or two herbal teas every day) but sometimes I'll crave a coffee...but then I'll have decaf. I'll crave it because I think the milkiness of it (oat milk though) makes it feel like a comfort drink, and I like a small shot of gingerbread syrup in it too.

first thing you wanted to be growing up?

I remember things like 'lawyer', 'journalist', and 'doctor' were common aspirations when I was a kid which I also contemplated but when I decided I wanted to be a dancer at aged 13 that was it for me. My 'back-up' career plan was some kind of palaeontology or archaeology ("you get an -ology you're a scientist!" 😂) but I never needed to pursue that.

Onward tagging: I'm not sure by now who has done this or not, so I'll tag some people and if you have done it then tag me in your post so I can read it! @grapejuicegay @dimplesandfierceeyes @casualavocados @ranchthoughts @jourquet @lollygirlpops @airenyah @incandescentflower and @linosaur

Like @telomeke, I also get tagged now and then by others in various tag games but then get too busy with work to be able to do them. So if you've tagged me and I've not responded, please know that I really wanted to but I just didn't have the time and then probably forgot.

[nomsfaultau]

Important PR Response to the Wilbur Soot scandal:

    Abuse in any form is abhorrent, and I condemn Wilbur’s actions. Previously I had established the division between people and personas in my work. I failed to reiterate the stance during the course of Fault, and would like rectify this now. I work with characters and not creators.

No works will be deleted. I will be continuing to use Wilbur Soot as a character only in preexisting works. Fault, Mandatory Family Reunion, and back burner projects will continue. The preplanned plot lines will not be altered greatly, so don’t expect sudden deaths, character assassination, name changes*, etc. However, I am not certain about Lighting Lanterns to Bring You Home as it is Wilbur-centric so it may be abandoned.

The current plans for this blog’s future are as follows:

- My characters be tagged as ‘Noms Wilbur’ or ‘SCP Wilbur’ for people who want to block tags. If cc comes up, he'll be tagged.

- I will not be financially supporting Wilbur in any way. I believe this is an important component in any Death/Disavowal of the Author situation. My fics are unlikely to contribute to further monetary/platform support that facilitates the further harm of the victim/s.

- No new AUs will involve Wilbur, so as projects finish he will be phased out more and more. Though keep in mind Fault is an extremely long term project.

- For those who wish to disconnect from the fandom entirely and stop following this blog, I wish you the best. Genuinely. This is a rough situation.

If anyone has any respectful and reasonable questions/comments, the ask box is always open. Please do not engage in bad faith; I am trying to do my best here. Below the cut I discuss my personal justifications and philosophies upon the matter. I’m not trying to force them on anyone, so please return the same courtesy.

    My reasonings: As I said after Technoblade’s death, I’ve poured a little too much of my soul into this to stop. I fully understand the people who have walked away, because I also feel sick and angry and sad and just— betrayed that this person I admired and enjoyed was abusing the people around him. But I am not going to let Wilbur’s vile actions poison the pride in the art I’ve made. And the fandom? We built it, not him. These are our stories and our drawings and our joy. So many other wonderful creators and fans poured so much effort into this community. To me, it feels like a betrayal to Technoblade’s legacy to let everything be tarnished. And I’m just not ready to lose this fandom that has meant so much to me for 4 years.

    I’m going to try for a little nuance here, a dangerous game on Tumblr I know. But part of the betrayal that I’m sure many of us are feeling is the thought we were tricked into liking a bad person. I have a friend who has been pouring over all of Wilbur’s content the last few days, desperate to find all the red flags they missed, painting every single thing he’s ever done with the knowledge of the things we couldn’t have known. And it’s not healthy for them, or anyone. In many stories we like to have a clear cut good and bad guy, because it’s easier if it’s true. The abuser becomes a cartoonishly evil caricature that makes it harder to recognize them in real life, and it makes real victims seem stupid for being hurt when shouldn’t it be so easy to tell? But it’s not, it’s messy, and complicated, and awful. Because in real life, abusers are people, and they can do good things like charity streams and making you laugh when you’re having a bad day and fostering wonderful communities of creative, amazing fans. They seem generous, and kind, because…they are. And they’re also abusive. And it’s really hard to hold both truths at the same time, which is why people prefer jump to extremes of defending and demonization. We like to believe the people we like are good people.

    Truthfully, I don’t believe in ‘bad people’ which is probably evident in much of my writing. I find it a category that too often used to discourage growth, remove culpability, and dismantle nuance. The moment people become monsters there is no question of rehabilitative justice, no question of what conditions and structures enabled this that need to be mended, revised, or replaced. The question becomes how do we destroy the monster instead of how do we protect future victims. Remove support from Wilbur, yes, but the next step is to give that support to Shubble. Mobs are fun. They feel right. But monsters don’t exist, people do, and people are complicated and abuse is complicated and their solutions must be accordingly nuanced. Sticking one guy’s head on a pike might ‘save’ the victim (which: Shubble saved herself), but it doesn’t support them in the long run. And it certainly doesn’t address the underlying personal, mental, and societal problems that caused someone to be abusive and allowed them to be undetected. And if anything, when put in a corner most people only get more desperate and dangerous to others and themselves. Justice requires far more effort than monster hunting, which is why it is often rare. And like we already discussed, people are often bad at detecting when someone is abusive. I’m not saying Wilbur is innocent, obviously. I’m saying demonization is a dangerous game and most people have done good and bad.

    But also, most people aren’t abusive pieces of shit.

    I don’t want to demonize Wilbur, but also I’m not going to wipe my hands of it by throwing my hands up, claiming there’s too much nuance blah blah morals are complicated, and then not actually hold him accountable. Wilbur does not deserve a platform with which to perpetuate his harmful actions. In reaction to this, we need to build systems and communities that don’t enable abuse, to support victims, and to help abusers become better without giving them the opportunity to hurt other people or themselves. Which, you know, is *slightly* outside the scope of one SBI fanblog, but I’ll do my best and pray others choose the same.

    I understand people who want to raze everything he’s ever touched, to delete all their fan works and eviscerate their love for anything involving him. I really, really do. I feel nauseous every time I try to write. But I’m trying to not throw the baby out with the bathwater, because I’ve found a lot of good here and I refuse to abandon it. My enjoyment of the story and community Wilbur helped inspire does not condone the bad he’s done, nor do I support him financially or emotionally. It’s a really difficult line to walk, but this is where my morals fall at least. I want to reclaim the joy I used to have.

    I hope Shubble is able to recover and heal from the harm done to her. She’s a wonderful person and is lucky to have friends and a community that have supported her in this time. I’m glad that the fandom has (mostly) collectively disavowed her abuser instead of exploding into controversy and a ‘he said-she said’ toxic mess a la Dream style, even if it hurts knowing much of the community we’ve built has been destroyed. Lastly, I pray Wilbur will become a better person. I would like to believe anyone has the capacity for redemption, but that is a decision entirely within his hands alone at this point. As for me, I will simply do what I think reduces harm and uplifts joy.  I may be wrong, but I will continue to do my best.   

Again, if anyone has any respectful and reasonable questions/comments, the ask box is always open.

[bts-hyperfixation]

Outside of the fox

Chapter 12 of? 4058 words

Y/N longs for a new life when the one she'd been living comes to an abrupt stop. Without much thought to those she is leaving behind, the little fox packs a backpack and disappears. She stumbles across the shelter and makes an interim home for herself while she works out exactly what she wants from her second chance.

Last

"Good morning beautiful, how was your weekend?" Taehyung says too loudly as he walks into the office.

You glance around but none of your co-workers even acknowledge his entrance. He practically glides across the foyer to stand with you behind the front desk.

"Any messages for me today?" He asks grabbing your lunch bag, not waiting for you.

"My weekend was... interesting. Mostly lazy I guess. We can talk about it more at lunch." You answer his first question knowing he isn't really listening as he reads Jimin's note to him.

"He wants to meet me?" Taehyung asks, eyes wide.

"Well, the pack wants to invite my only friend outside the house to spend winter solstice with us... but yeah you can interpret that as him specifically wanting to meet you if you like." You shrug.

He sticks his tongue out at your response, deciding you were just jealous of the connection he and Jimin were clearly forming through their two post-it interactions. Then he steals your lunch away and continues into the office. You hope he is putting it in the fridge, but you don't remain optimistic.

It's a long day, Taehyung has a meeting at lunch, although you aren't overly sure what kind of meeting an office mail guy would need to be privy to. You eat your lunch quietly by yourself and return to the desk 20 minutes early to try and keep yourself busy. The torturous day drags to an end, and you finally head home.

You are the first to arrive.

As usual Jungkook is in the living room on his switch, although no one had had chance to reset the furniture, so he still lay on the blow-up mattress. His ears perk up as you walk through, but he makes no move to look away from his game, so you continue into the kitchen. The fridge is empty save a few bottles of juice, the cupboards have only a few cans of soup, and the bread in the container is going mouldy.

Apparently no one had had a chance to go grocery shopping this weekend.

You pull out your phone and create a new order in the supermarket app, setting the delivery time for the next evening. You try to remember everybody’s preferences, including Hobi's seeing as he was practically living at the cottage now. He claimed it was all to do with his creative process, but the whole house could hear what he and Yoongi were talking about in hushed voices in the early hours of the morning. The walls were reasonably thin.

"Kookie, anything you want on the food shop?" You call.

"Can't do the food shop until Joonie is paid on Wednesday." He calls back.

"Don't be silly, we have no food. I'm doing one now. What do you want?"

The bunny finally pauses his game and shuffles into the kitchen. He glances around at all the open cupboard doors and thinks for a few moments.

"I guess I'd like some carrot gummies... If they aren't too much." He says sheepishly.

"Of course they aren't too much, they're only sweets."

"Yeah but sweets aren't necessities, sometimes we have to go without extras." He shrugs.

"Jungkook? Are you guys struggling with money?" You ask.

It hadn't occurred to you before. You knew they weren't exactly living like kings, but they never seemed to want for anything... And they took you in without a second thought to themselves. They kept everybody fed and Yoongi and Namjoon were always working. You knew how stressed Namjoon was, but you thought it was because of deadlines not financials.

"Um... I guess so. I didn't know they hadn't mentioned it... Please don't tell them I told you. Namjoon is so proud, and all he wants is to take care of us. He is doing such a great job I can't believe I've made you think he can't look after us." Jungkook starts to hyperventilate. "He is going to be mad at me."

"Namjoon won't be mad at you Kookie." You try to re-assure him, moving to him carefully. "I won't mention it to him if it makes you feel better. Just help me with the food shop and we won't mention this conversation again okay?"

He nods and sniffles. You put a hand on his shoulder, and he lent into the warmth. He then plucks your phone from your hand a starts adding all the things you've forgotten to the shop. Each item being the cheapest option available, no name brand items anywhere to be seen. After he is finished he presses order and hands the phone back to you.

"What about dinner tonight?" You ask.

"I think Yoongi is using the last of his advance to bring home Chinese food." He answers.

You send a message to the group chat to tell them you put an order in so they could add anything they wanted. You were met with some resistance by Namjoon who insisted he would give you the money back as soon as he got home but you refused. Making up something about doing the food shop as long as you weren't paying rent, refusing to back down until he gave in.

He tried again briefly when he got home but eventually accepted his fate when Yoongi told him to shut as he lay the dinner out on the table.

It was a rare night when Hoseok hadn't joined you for the evening, instead having plans with his parents. It was oddly quiet when he wasn't there to fill in the silences. His cheerful laugh usually echoes off the walls. The house felt a little bit like it did that night Jungkook spent in the hospital, but nobody addressed it, instead blitzing through little anecdotes about their days to try and fill the space.

"Oh! Taehuyng said he would love to come for winter solstice, if that's still okay?" You look across at Jungkook and he shakes his to make sure your earlier conversation doesn't resurface.

"Of course it's okay, we love having company." Namjoon says the smile on his face genuine.

You study his face closer than you ever had before. His dark circles were getting worse by the day, fighting his need to hibernate in order to keep the pack afloat. His hair is frazzled and desperate need of a cut. And his beard is patchy and rough. Your heartaches that you didn't realise how badly the stress was getting to him sooner.

"Hobi is joining us too." Yoongi says through his spoonful of noodles.

He is met with a chorus of 'duh' that has him questioning why he bothered speaking in the first place. The rest of the evening they walk you through all of their traditions for the solstice. They start with a huge meal at sundown, filled with meats, pastries, and dessert. It sounded delicious and had your mouth watering at the thought. Then they would go up on the hill in the back garden and watch the stars if it were a clear night.

They'd light a bonfire and let go of all the things that had happened over the past year, lighting symbols of their previous misfortunes. Bonfires were common on solstice, but your husband had never liked the smell, and your parents deemed them too dangerous.

After the bonfire they would then make origami stars with their wish for their next year and keep them all in a jar together. It sounded so romantic.

As Namjoon spoke you watched Jungkook's face light up, knowing this would be his first solstice with them too. It seemed odd to picture just Namjoon and Yoongi starting these traditions together. You didn’t know the story of how they became a couple, but neither seemed to be so romantically inclined. Their love for each other was evident in their little touches and hushed moments. But wishes in jars seemed too much.

Still, you were more than excited to spend this holiday with them. It was less than a week away and you only had three more days of work until you would be given time off to spend at home. The winter solstice allowed for two weeks off to spend the time with family.

Your husband had never bothered taking the time away, owning his own company meant he never had any spare time. you'd always have a nice meal, just the two of you, but then he would be straight back to work.

Butterflies fluttered in your stomach all week at the thought of actually having a big celebration.

The rest of the week work continued to drag by but Taehuyng made sure he was around for every subsequent lunch to cheer you up just a little.

Every day when you went home something about the house was different. Instead of playing on his switch all day, Jungkook had taken to watching DIY videos and making little ornaments out of scrap paper. He had strung paper stars to the sealing on Tuesday, using Namjoon's old unedited manuscripts. On Wednesday he had made hundreds of little snowflakes out of his comic books that he had finished with. Thursday you came home after a half day to Jungkook covered in papercuts trying to make paper swans.

He had frustrated tears in his eyes as he throw another crumpled ball onto the floor, landing in a pile of about twenty failed attempts. On the table sat two completed swans that looked perfect. You shuffle noisily over to him, making sure he can hear you coming before you sit on the floor next to him. Namjoon had finally moved the blow-up mattress back to the loft yesterday, but no one had replaced the sofas yet.

"Having trouble?" You ask.

You pick up one of the crumpled pieces of paper and smooth it back out until it's useable again.

"It looked so easy in the tutorial..." He grumbled. Falling back onto the floor dramatically.

"Well you managed it twice, so you are getting somewhere." You shrug, absentmindedly folding the paper in your hands.

"They took me an hour each." He sniffles.

You finish twisting the neck on the bird in your hands and place it on his forehead. His eyes open and he looks inward and up, crossing his eyes to see what you had given him. When he realises what you've done he springs up and grabs the two swans from the table to make sure you didn't cheat.

"How did you do that?" He asks in awe.

"I had a lot of spare time at school... let’s just say I had no friends. Did you want me to teach you?"

He nods enthusiastically, pushing his stack of fresh paper towards you. Today’s choice seems to be homemade recycled paper. Likely old, shredded documents. It was tougher than regular card stock to fold and explained at least half of his issues, but you decided against pointing it out. Instead walking him steadily though each fold for a couple of birds until he felt confident doing it himself.

The two of you had an army of swans surrounding you when Hoseok let himself in.

"Am I interrupting something?" He asks looking around at the colourful array coating the table.

"No, but can you start putting these up around the house? Maybe hang them with the stars?" You ask, handing him a bunch.

"Yes mam." He salutes and takes them from you.

He tries to make them even with the stars. The whole room looked like a grade school class room when the three of you had finished but it also had a touch of magic to it. When Namjoon came home he brought a little shrub with him to act as a ceremonial offering for the holiday and each member of the house placed their gifts underneath.

It was easy to tell who brought each pile of gifts. Jungkook's were evidently handmade. Jimin's were tied with parcel string and had hand drawn hearts on the tags. Namjoon's wrapping skills were awful, with the tape peeling away at the edges. Yoongi's on the other hand were meticulously wrapped. Hobi's were mostly just made of tape, they were going to require scissors to cut.

You had tried to make each of yours match the men. You were nervous about the presents suddenly worried you had perhaps spent too much. You had bought them before your conversation with Jungkook and had used some of the money left by your husband so you could thank them properly. Really they had meant to be goodbye presents until Yoongi had talked you into staying through the holidays.

You were still considering new apartments you could move to in the new year, but with each new day you spent at the cottage you found your will to leave slipping away. You spent much more time thinking about Jimin and what Yoongi had said and how that made you feel. You also thought about the others and what you really wanted. You had been so sure you were ready to be alone. But maybe that was never the problem with your previous life.

On Friday everyone had a lazy morning. No one surfaced from their rooms until 11am. Namjoon didn't make an appearance until Yoongi opened the door to Jungkook's room and blew the smell of freshly made pancakes in, luring the bear slowly to the table. You all ate your brunch happily, munching quietly as you enjoyed the sweet treat. In the afternoon Namjoon finally got dressed and declared he would be going to brave the supermarkets in order to pick up the remainder of the supplies they would need for the feast on Sunday.

You offer to go with him, and he accepts. Although you hadn't realised quite how vicious this experience was going to be. The store had a line halfway around the building and Namjoon just laughed your shock off as if this was normal.

"I hope you're wearing enough layers." He says glancing at your puffy coat.

"How are you so okay with this. It's one day, are all these people insane?" You ask.

"This is normal for this time of year... Have you never been shopping at solstice?"

"No, I guess I've never had to."

Your family had people to do this. And your husband would've never let you go grocery shopping with him or whomever he had sent. You weren't supposed to do anything so menial.

The line shuffles forward every so often when somebody leaves. Shopping trollies filled to the brim with online orders and last-minute presents. You're freezing after half an hour on the outside, the building doing very little to shelter you from the chilly wind. It would be at least another half an hour before you reached the safety of the foyer.

You glance up at Namjoon, but he seems unphased by the harsh weather. As a bear it probably came with the genes. He notices you staring and turns back to look at you.

"Shit, Y/N your cheeks are really pink... Are you that cold?" He looks around as if a solution might appear out of thin air.

"It's okay, it's not too much longer." You put on a brave face and smile at him.

"I'd say go sit in the car, but I forgot to fill it up..."

His eyes flicker like he is lying but you don't call him on it, you assume he just didn't want to waste extra money.

"Honestly I'll be fine." But your teeth chatter and betray you.

"This might help... If it's okay." He unzips the front of both coats and pulls you into his chest.

He is like a radiator; the heat fills your bones instantly. You melt into his embrace, allowing him to warm every inch of you.

"I'm not going to make you cold am I?" You ask looking up at him.

You hadn't realised how close his face would be to yours until he looks down to speak and his lips are barely a centimetre away. Quickly you look down and bury your face into his cable knit jumper. Missing the blush on his face as you rush to hide yours.

"It's.. um it's hard to make me cold." He coughs awkwardly as his arms encircle you to keep you close. Every so often he takes one arm back to push the cart forward as he shuffles the two of you in the queue.

You chat absently as you move, careful to only turn your face up to look at him when you know he isn't looking at you. The second half of the wait definitely goes a lot quicker now that you are warm and as soon as you are inside he lets you go. The heat drains from you and you shiver as you reacclimatise to your regular temperature.

"I can definitely see why you are Jungkook's favourite cuddle partner." You say as you rezip your coat.

He shuffles awkwardly and redirects your attention to the task at hand. He runs the shopping trip like a military plan of attack. He starts with the ordered food knowing it will take the longest. He leaves you there with strict instructions to text him when it arrives. You salute him jokingly, but he just nods and continues with his mission.

By the time the order arrives he is already halfway through the remainder of the shop. He has a space in the trolley carved out specifically for the order making sure not to crush any of the food. You then follow him around the remainder of the shop watching as he inspected veg and date checked fresh sauces. Having only seen the forgetful and clumsy Namjoon at home, watching this version of him was like he'd been body snatched.

One hour later you were stood at the till as he pulled out all his coupons and finished backing his bags. You were careful as you watched him pack, waiting for your opportunity to strike. As his back turns to check the list one final time, you slide your card into the chip and pin and pay before he can stop you. He starts to argue with you, but you look around and remind him not to make a scene.

He huffs aggressively but takes a hold of the cart and pushes it back to the car. He doesn't speak to you as he opens the door for you to jump into the driver's side. He refuses your help when it comes to packing the bags into the car. You can hear the clang of the cart as he puts it back where it came from, and you start to wonder if you'd pushed it too far this time.

"Namjoon?" You ask tentatively as he slides in next to you.

"Why did you do that? Do you think I can't take care of everybody?" He asks, voice filled with disappointment.

"Of course I think you can take care of everyone." You answer calmly.

"Then why do you keep insisting on paying when that should be my job, to provide for my pack."

"Because someone should provide for you sometimes too." You reach out to touch his hand.

He doesn't pull it back but he doesn't meet your eyes either. He stares dejectedly out of the front window.

"Namjoon, I live in your house rent free, and everyone is so kind, I just want to do something for you guys too. I didn't realise it made you feel bad."

"Everyone lives in our house rent free Y/N not just you. Jimin's job certainly doesn't pay enough for housekeeping and it's not Jungkook has a job."

"But they're your partners, I'm a freeloader." You chuckle trying to lighten the mood.

"You are so much more than a freeloader. Do you not see how happy you make everyone just because we come home to you? Even Jungkook gets sad when you aren't around. He actually whined when I came home first on Wednesday not you."

"Yeah, he really has come around in the last couple days."

"I don't think you quite realise the ability you have to light up a room when you walk into it." He says it to be nice, poetic even, but it just reminds you of things your husband would say.

He and his friends would always talk about how your appearance would change the dynamic in a room, as if that was the best gift you could offer the world. Your presence was enough, no one needed to hear you too. You know it's what Namjoon meant but it still makes you hesitate. He finally meets your eyes when you pause for a little too long.

"Namjoon... that's lovely. But it doesn't appease my guilt of taking what’s not mine and giving nothing back."

"I think we might have to agree to disagree on what you owe us." He says putting the discussion on hold. "We have frozen stuff we should get home."

You make a note to revisit the conversation late, but the opportunity doesn't arise again. The remainder of the afternoon is spent marinating meats and cutting veggies ready for the next couple days.

Taehyung calls around 7pm claiming to be bored at home alone, but you suspect he may just be overeager to meet your friends. You give him the address and immediately he is on his way to the house.

He knocks the door rhythmically, leaving the last two knocks to be completed by someone on the other side. Jimin is practically giddy as he answers the knocks, enjoying this impromptu game that's been created.

The red panda opens the door coming face to face with the great panda for the first time and it feels like electricity sweeps through the room.

"Pretty." Taehyung says.

For the first time since you've meet him it seems like he might've been knocked speechless. Jimin also doesn't speak, he stutters and moves aside so Tae can walk through the door. His cheeks are as red as his hair as he takes a bag from the newcomers hands to help him into the house.

"I've never seen him so flustered." You whisper to Yoongi.

"I know... it's odd. When he met you he wouldn't shut up." He whispers back.

Taehyung seems to snap out of his trance quicker than Jimin when his eyes meet yours.

"Beautiful!" He exclaims sweeping across the room to hug you.

"Put me down Tae." You struggle in his arms as he twirls you around.

"But I missed you today." He pouts but does as he is told.

You introduce him to the room, reaching Jimin just as his voice seems to make a reappearance. He manages to actually ask Taehyung about his job, a question that Taehyung suspiciously dodges the specifics of. They disappear together as Jimin offers him the grand tour.

"Hey, I never got a full tour." Hoseok comments looking at Yoongi.

"You were never supposed to make it outside of the studio." He shrugs.

"Well that's rude. Maybe I'll leave if I'm so unwanted."

Hobi places the knife he'd been using on to the chopping board and swoops dramatically past Yoongi.

"No one said you were unwanted Angel." Yoongi grabs his arm and pulls the human back into his lap.

Yoongi kisses Hobi gently and holds him there, trapped in his embrace, not that Hobi makes any effort to escape.

They were so cute like this. Neither of them was particularly affectionate in public but they were slowly getting more comfortable with showing this side of themselves around the cottage. It was nice to watch their relationship developing past late-night talks and stolen glances.

Namjoon looks at Yoongi with all the love in the world and it doesn't escape your notice when Jungkook looks at them longingly, but it seems more like he is looking at Hoseok than he is at Yoongi.

Dinner is served by 8pm. The table is getting extremely cramped as Taehyung pulls up another chair next to you. Your elbows brush together as you eat, and it's almost too loud as three conversations carry on at once. And you couldn't be happier as you glance around finally able to say you have your own group of friends.

Outside of the fox masterlist

The next few days should be amazing.

Next

Master list

I currently have a request form running for if you want to request one shots and drabbles. Please follow this link to the Google form If you have one you would like to submit. I will be writing these alongside outside of the fox. You can submit for completely new fics or for sequels for fics I've already done

[minban]

KNOWING YOUR PARTNER WELL CAN POTENTIALLY MAKE WRITING TOGETHER A LOT EASIER. REPOST DO NOT REBLOG

NAME: red

PRONOUNS: he/she/they

PREFERENCE OF COMMUNICATION: i don't mind whether it's discord or tumblr ims because either way i'm going to be terrible at responding askjfhalkfjsha so sorry to everyone who i've ever talked to ooc, you will continue to receive slow responses from me.

NAME OF MUSE(s): i'm not going to list them all but the most active ones are jing yuan, kaveh, and boothill. of course, you're always free to ask for any muse on my roster regardless if you have seen me rping them on the dash or not.

BEST EXPERIENCE: coming back to the rpc. i didn't think that i would miss it as much as i did. the moment i was able to write again and form dynamics with other writers was wonderful, and i do not think that i will be leaving the rpc anytime soon. my activity may be slow but y'all can be sure that i love being here and interacting with other muns again.

RP PET PEEVES / DEALBREAKERS: asking me for a starter, not interacting with that starter, and then asking for another starter. this goes for asks too with repeated instances of not interacting with what i have written you. the interaction could either be on the post or in the dms. i understand that everyone has a life outside of the rpc so if this occurs occasionally then i get it. but repeated instances is grounds for hardblocking. i spend a lot of time writing even a simple paragraph, and for that to be ignored is hurtful.

i love out of character posts. i love reading what my mutuals are up to and any silly little thoughts that they have. however, if you're treating your blog as a personal blog without any signs of in character posts, then i might end up unfollowing you. i wouldn't say this is a pet peeve because i'm glad with however people are enjoying their experiences here, but this can be a dealbreaker when i'm mainly here to write.

MUSE PREFERENCES: i think i have a pretty broad spectrum of muses that i write. there are some patterns however, those being tragic blond haired men, depressing backstories, and silly little goobers. i enjoy characters who put on a silly facade while their past and lives haunt them, i love characters who smile while their lives crumble beneath their feet. jing yuan, boothill, and kaveh are all perfect examples of these themes and i find them absolutely fascinating to explore through interactions with other muns. when you dig deeper than just the surface, you find that they are not just smiles and jokes, and i eat that up.

PLOTS OR MEMES: i enjoy plotting immensely, and i enjoy sending in memes and being sent memes in return. honestly, i love the interactions and writings that come with rping as a whole. i do not think i have a preference so long as i get to enjoy what my muses are up to. i love throwing ideas back and forth with my fellow muns, and i love the occasional moments where i will take a meme and go crazy with replying to it.

LONG OR SHORT REPLIES: short replies are wonderful, fantastic, amazing, and you will see me continuously writing more than i thought i would asjfkasklfjsha. i don't have a preference for either, and i will always do my best to match my partner's length. i will say that threads with a shorter length will be replied to much faster.

BEST TIME TO WRITE: at night, or on my phone during the busiest hours of work. i don't know what it is where my brain likes to kickstart my writing mode during the most convenient times. i don't have a say in when my brain switches on creative mode either, which is why my activity is always abysmal, both ic and ooc.

ARE YOU LIKE YOUR MUSE(S): yes and no. it depends on what muses we're talking about including what aspects in particular. i can relate to kaveh in how he feels like the standards placed onto him are a shackle, and i can relate to his depression, his kindness, and his self deprecating tendencies. but i am not a people person, i will not go out of my way for everyone who crosses my path, i will not go above my means for the sake of others. kaveh has very little self preservation, whereas i have a lot. we can also talk about jing yuan in how he wishes for a simple life, sleeping the hours of the days away in bed, but i am no politician. a can relate to my muses only on some of their aspects. (noe archiviste this does not apply to you. the only difference between me and noe is that i am not a vampire.)

tagged by @aguilareye thank you 💞 tagging @furiaei, @yeonban, @venstm, @halovien, and you !

[colleybri]

Answer the questions and tag 5 Fanfic Authors

Tagged by @mosylufanfic :)

1. How did you get into writing fanfiction?

I’m relatively unusual here, I think, in that whilst I’ve been writing it since my teens I have had a good twenty year break up until a few months ago. Years ago, I just started writing it for my own pleasure - certainly no internet or easy ways to share it back then. More recently, I can attribute my return to one thing and one thing only: my love of the series Andor. An obsession that came out of nowhere in September 2023 when I watched it for the first time and it resonated with me in a way nothing has come close to in quite some time. After several months of writing various analyses of it I felt the urge to get creative.

2. How many fandoms have you written in?

Not many - most recently, Andor - obviously - and with the obvious overlap of Rogue One. Going back: I started out on E.T. (early teens then so that will date me accordingly :) ) - moving on to Aliens, The Silence of the Lambs and The X Files. Some novels then too: Narnia and Clive Barker, notably.

3. How many years have you been writing fanfiction?

As above, really. I’m in my mid 50s now - which I imagine makes me one of the older ones here. I dabbled most recently in the late 90s, with The Phantom Menace slashfics that were hugely popular back then - one of my friends was a superb writer (her stories were considerably better than the film itself ) and absolutely churned them out on whatever forums were around. They were a wholly new thing to me and I hadn’t even seen the film, but I dabbled a bit anyway :)

4. Do you read or write more fanfiction?

I write more at the moment, but I’m gradually trying to catch up with the reading. I missed Andor when it was first released and therefore the glut of fics from that time. But I’m getting to know the writers I really like and rediscover my own interests, genre speaking, along the way.

5. What is one way you’ve improved as a writer?

It’s really hard to compare as I haven’t got much left hanging around from my earlier years, but I would say that with several decades of teaching Lit under my belt now I do care a lot more about characterisation than I ever used to. It used to be all about the plot. I’m finding myself very drawn to subtext-heavy dialogue, internal monologues, drabbles and even poetry - the last being something I never thought I’d touch with a barge pole. I’m not saying I’m any good, just that I enjoy the challenge. That’s the main thing, in fact. These days I’m happy to embrace a challenge rather than shy from it. 

6. What’s the weirdest topic you researched for a writing project?

That would be what human flesh tastes like. For a Silence of the Lambs fic, obviously. The answer is apparently “pork crossed with beef” so I guess a genuine ragu lasagne would scratch that particular itch if anyone’s curious. 

7. What’s your favorite type of comment to receive on your work?

At the moment, as I’m pretty much starting from scratch and trying to find readers, absolutely anything. Probably excluding ‘don’t give up the day job’. 

8. What’s the most fringe trope/topic you write about?

Probably the cannibalism thing. Though that’s no doubt more mainstream nowadays…. I haven’t even looked at all the Hannibal (tv series) fics out there. 

9. What is the hardest type of story for you to write?

Anything long - the longest thing I ever completed was a 250 page novel but I was 14 at the time and haven’t come close since. Haven’t the stamina these days. Same with reading – I prefer one shots.

10. What is the easiest type?

Missing scenes or scene commentaries - not so much easy as such but probably my favourite forms, so they come relatively easily once I really put my mind to them. I find analytical essays the easiest of all, if I know the text well, but that’s no doubt a teacher-thing. I’ve made myself a regular feature on the Reddit Andor sub, probably to the chagrin of some :)

11. Where do you do your writing? What platform? When?

Looking at other answers to this one, I’m a bit perplexed. I have an elderly iMac and write on that. Hell, I used to do everything in long hand. Thank God I learned to touch-type. I guess I use Googledocs when forced to use my laptop. I’m fortunate to be semi-retired, so I generally find the time.

12. What is something you’ve been too nervous/intimidated to write, but would love to write one day?

Something longer, I guess. Hard to tell. I was and am intimidated by Smutfics, but had a go at a challenge recently and was quite pleased with the result. Not something I’ll be writing often though - not the main event, anyway. Love the buildups, and there’s some really great erotica out there, but I do get pretty stuck using the same vocabulary if I’m not careful. I’ve done a few humorous variations and quite liked those too. I’m British, lived in Bath for many years so like to imagine Austen’s ironic take on sex scenes quite a bit. 

13. What made you choose your username?

Nothing very deep - it’s to do with where I live. I’m a keen birder and Colley is an old West Country (England) word for a blackbird. 

Apologies in advance for tagging you - I’m sure some or all of you have been ‘done’ already! I don’t know a huge range of writers yet and I’m new to Tumblr and Discord. Absolute social media dinosaur as I am. 

Tagging @beladonna02, @ceruleanphoenix7, @faceofpoe, @jake-and-amy-are-married, @vadercat

[1ris5starlight]

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{Hiiii folks!!!! Welcome to my channel, I hope that you will enjoy my post and stories!!

(And what I'm cooking😈).

But anyways, here some things about me:}

• My name is IrisStarLight; you can call me Iris, Star, Light or whatever nicknames you want (except insults).

• I'm a Demi-girl and (probably) Aroece.

• My pronouns are she/her, they/them (but I prefer she/her sometimes).

• I'm probably autistic.

• I'm a mess of creative mind and laziness.

• I'm obsessed with A LOT of shows and when I say the I'm obsessed, I MEAN IT.

• (like I said) English isn't my first language, so I might do grammar error...pls don't judge me, I'm trying my best and I'm still learning it.

• I'm a depressed and anxious person that probably needs therapy-.

• I'm mentally unstable👍.

• Mini stories will be written on Tumbler, AUs on my AO3 account(I will put my link when I start writing).

• I DO NOT ACCEPT INSULTS OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT, SO PLS BE NICE AND SO I WILL TOO.

• PLS DO NOT STEAL MY IDEAS.

{But enough of me, now I will talk about all the ideas and stories I have (Most of them are still in process and I haven't even started writing them down).}

☆ AUs:

• SaMS/EaLS

- The Corrupted Star (aka Sun gets corrupted by Dark Star-power; he can see Witer Shards = 1⁰ sign)

- Kidnapped (aka someone, sent by the Creator, kidnaps Sun for the Creator's plan).

- My SaMS/EaLS AU (aka my version of SaMS/EaLS).

- Boy, run Run RUN! (aka my mafia version of SaMS/EaLS).

- Jumanji AU (aka Sun, Moon, Eclipse and Solar are trapped in the Jumanji dimension and the others try to get them out, but with a lot of complications).

- Experiment AU (aka Sun, Moon & Earth get kidnapped by Creator, because he needs to "finish what he started").

• TMF:

- Two notes of the same song (an SaMS × Tmf) (Timeline: after ep. 9) (aka Jake finds an old friend that will helps him with the current situation).

• Solarballs:

- Trapped on Earth (aka all the planets, minus Earth, and some Moons in their human forms are trapped on Earth's surface).

- My Solarballs AU (aka my version of Solarballs).

• Ninjago:

- A growing flame (aka Kai gets kidnapped by Imperium).

- Switched places (what if Kai and Nya switched places in season 15?)

• MHA

- My friend from the jungle (aka some Mha characters get teletrasported in another world by someone, that Izuku knows very well).

- Sams meet Mha (aka Sun and Moon meet the MHA characters).

• Voltron

- Found you (During a mission, Lance meet someone from his past that he misses a lot, but that someone really changed from the last he saw them).

☆ Stories:

• Mini stories(Old channel)

- A child always protect his parent (1,2,??)

- Sun is bi (1/1)

- The trauma has been summoned (1/1)

- Sun expose himself two times in one (1/1)

• Mini stories(New channel)

- Lunar has a new trauma (1/1)

- An odd-bad dream (1/1)

- The siblings reunion (1/1)

- Repercussions of magic (1/1)

- They're besties! (1/1)

- "I love you dad!" (1/1)

- "NOT MY MAMA!" (1/1)

- Moon learns how to cook(kinda-) (1/1)

- "Not a good boy" (1/1)

- "GET OUT OF MY BROTHER!!" (1/1)

- Grilled cheese (1/1)

- "We did it..." (1/1)

- "New friend!" (1/1)

- After Show (1,2,3,4,5,6,??)

- Moon's ADHD has returned (1/1)

- Moon, you naughty boy! (1/1)

- Sun needs a better twin(joke) (1/1)

- The Celestial family finds out that Sun is autistic (1/1)

- Dazzle is the King Lion now! (1/1)

☆ Tags:

{So, that's everything for now.

Bye Bye Folks!}

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{CLOSE PANNEL?}

{NO or YES}

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{PROCEEDING CLOSING PLANNEL...}

{AT NEXT TIME, BYE!}

{ / / / }

[executables-sims]

Get to know you: Sims Style

Thank you so much for the tag, @goatskickin! :D I am ill rn, so please excuse the rambling. x) Long post ahead!

What’s your favorite Sims death? Maybe fright? I've only ever had it happen once via ghost, the anim is pretty funny. :)

Alpha CC or Maxis Match? My Simblr probably says otherwise, but I don’t have a preference! I’ve had nearly every possible CC style under the sun throughout my years of playing, and I constantly think about reviving my 'semi-realism' folder (living vicariously through you, other simmers!). I didn't play with CC until early 2006 though, so MM is a little bit more nostalgic. :)

Do you cheat your sims weight? Hell no! I'm still in awe of Nysha's townie body diversity mod finally letting townies be fat. :D I wish the game had a better way of managing bodyshapes so I could add more variety that way.

Do you move objects? Of course!

Favorite Mod? Of all time? Impossible! My continued interest in gameplay is always because of new mods. :)

I did gain a new outlook thanks to a mod recently, though! My wild romance sim Blaze Biermann ended up 'mood swinging' to fortune before he went to uni, and instead of reverting, it got stuck.

He had a few flings still (pleasure secondary), but after he returned home and met his daughter (for the first time since her birth), he started cringing whenever I directed him to romance his dates. It felt like he had grown as a person, and I loved it!

TL;DR: Randomly change your sims' original aspiration/s to give them interesting character arcs! First Expansion/Game Pack/Stuff Pack? I mean, not my decision, but our first TS1 EP was Hot Date. I'm pretty sure I got TS2 EPs/SPs in order of release (miss those days of unwrapping a new one every birthday/christmas!).

Do you pronounce live mode like aLIVE or LIVing? We're LIVE, baby! 🎥

Who’s your favorite sim that you’ve made? I don't usually get very attached to my first-generation sims, but maybe Evonne Milos, from the gameplay/story hood I accidentally destroyed in four days? Never actually played her, but I had a lot of ideas for a corrupt 'sexpot' politician. x)

Have you made a simself? Lots! 99% of the fun I had playing TS2 as a kid was me and my best friend making ourselves and our respective crushes of the week, and we'd always live in one of those Veronaville lots that was two houses connected by a balcony. I can't even tell you the amount of times she got me pregnant against my wishes whilst I went to the bathroom, lmao.

Which is your favorite EA hair color? For colour consistency, probably brown? But there are a lot of brunettes in Brunwick (must be the name!), so I enjoy the recessives popping up in gameplay. :)

Favorite EA hair? Does an EA download count? Jeanette is lovely.

Favorite life stage? Ohhh dude, that's so difficult to answer. They all bring different challenges and dynamics to the household! I feel like I've started to appreciate the child lifestage more since Brunwick has grown large enough to have multiple friendship groups. It's fun watching them goof around with each other and be actual kids, instead of sitting indoors skilling. I really need to build a park! :)

Are you a builder or are you in it for the gameplay?

Are you a CC creator? Yes, I really love how this game has led me to so many creative hobbies! Would like to tackle BHAVs one day. :)

Do you have any Simblr friends or a Sim Squad? Yeah! I consider us all friends over our shared enjoyment of the game really, but as a chronic lurker I'm not the best at cultivating connections. x) Does anyone wanna make a secret club? xD

Do you have any sims merch? No, but I do have a bunch of rad sims memories. 👉😎👉

Do you have a YouTube for sims? Nope, but I watched plenty of sim music videos back in the day! Found a lot of songs that way. :) Some formative memories here: One / Two

How has your “Sims style” changed throughout your years of playing? I sadly don't have screenshots of my oldest saves thanks to a combo of no external HD and no screenshot program, but here's one example:

But gameplay-wise, a lot! My early years were probably based around creating stories more than actively playing, but when I did I would just emulate perfect families, attempt legacies, and restart BG hoods over and over. x)

Now I'm all about wants-based gameplay; witnessing and interpreting a story, as opposed to creating one from scratch. But I will add drama if I find my interest waning! x)

Who’s your favorite CC creator? Again, super-duper impossible to answer because everyone's CC makes the game fun, but my most recent CC shopping spree was Honeywell and HugeLunatic! :) 🛒

How long have you had Simblr? Technically 2011, officially 2013, but if we're being pedantic, I finally made a dedicated Simblr (this) in 2016. x)

How do you edit your pictures? These days, just sharpen and shrink! CC previews aren't too complicated either- a blurred out screenshot for the BG and a shadow.

What expansion/gamepack is your favorite? Ooh… maybe Nightlife, by a smidgen? I feel like it gave us a lot of new features and items, and the subhood was nice (as a non-builder at the time!).

Tagging: @daman19942 @aondaneedles @eulaliasims @profesionalpartyguest @tvickiesims @and everyone else, I love reading these! :D

[remy2fang]

A.K.I. Birthday Commentator Audio in SF6, a Rant, some Copium, and perhaps Additional F.A.N.G Content in Future DLC. LONG Post!!

A.K.I. Birthday Commentator Audio

From the sounds of it, I don’t think a lot of English speaking players use the commentator audio in SF6. If they did, they would’ve posted about the special commentary about A.K.I.’s birthday on Twitter. Even EventHubs didn’t mention about the special commentary:

For sure, Japanese players uses it:

This is the English commentator audio, extracted by me:

Truth be told, I actually heard the English commentary version more than a month prior to A.K.I.’s birthday, so back in early October then. I extracted and search through audio files within the AKI patch. The time when I found it, I honestly thought that it’s already available in-game if you switch the commentary audio on, but that’s really not the case. This particular line can only be heard on A.K.I.’s birthday. Another thought that came to mind when I first listened to this audio was, “WHEN is AKI’s birthday?” A month later we all found out that it’s 11/11.

-RANT TIME-

Everything about that special birthday audio for AKI sounded nice and lovely until the part with “…she MAY end up killing him (FANG) herself.” I know it’s been foreshadowed in AKI’s World Tour dialogue and how FANG had to kill his closest Nguuhao brothers for his first assassin job in the Toxicity story, but damn, it’s a reminder that AKI’s happiness (and mine too 😭😭) MAY eventually have a grim ending. After listening to that audio, it prompted me to write these posts a long while ago:

I much prefer the Japanese commentator audio because it said that “AKI almost poisons FANG” rather than “she MAY end up killing him herself” like in the English one. It’s far less doom and gloom in the Japanese version. Plus, FANG is already immune to poison lol.

Honestly, I’m happy that “almost” no one heard the English commentator audio on AKI’s birthday and Eventhubs never even mentioned it. I can imagine the barrage of dumb comments from F.A.N.G haters wanting him dead. Come on, give A.K.I. a break on her birthday. Telling her to kill F.A.N.G, the most important person in her life, would make her truly upset.

-END RANT-

Now the Copium

Shortly after finding that audio, I kinda formed a headcanon-pseudo fanfic to make myself feel better. I don’t normally make these kinds of things because I generally just stick to canon…but also I lack creativity when it comes to story telling. Anyway, this was what I wrote:

“I hope FANG stays a coward. The day when AKI and FANG must face each other and FANG finds out that AKI finally surpasses him, he’ll plead for his life in front of AKI. AKI will say that she’d never want to kill him anyway and they could live happily together. FANG says he’ll do whatever AKI wishes. AKI says there’s no need and they should live as equals…but she has one request. The scene changes where AKI is in a Victorian style cafe and FANG is the sophisticated stylish butler with a monocle serving AKI tea and desserts. AKI claps in excitement like a little girl.”

And of course, I had to draw this idea because I thought it would be cute. A lot of people have seen it already on AKI’s birthday:

This was the result of making my little made-up scenario. The best thing about it was Street Fighter Official retweeted this art. It’s like they’re validating it or something lol. It’s kinda ironic really. Me hearing that birthday audio more than a month prior, and then me drawing my fantasy picture for AKI’s birthday and Street Fighter Official retweeting it. It feels like poetic justice. I know this is reaching here, but I think the social media staff saw it as AKI’s longing to have a truly happy moment with FANG. Perhaps to the staff that this image, my very own coping fantasy, closely aligns with what AKI truly wanted. It’s like I am A.K.I. or A.K.I. is me. Lol. There were better, more popular art that came out on her birthday, but they often leave out on what’s most dear to AKI. Though there were also a few birthday artworks where FANG is included…I don’t know why they weren’t retweeted and mine was. I don’t know. I’m just making conjectures on why my piece was chosen when there were much better ones that came out on AKI’s birthday.

Additional F.A.N.G Content in Future DLC

Anyway, speaking of how important F.A.N.G is, I think we’re going to see more of him in World Tour Mode when Ed DLC drops. Yes, it’s pretty obvious that he’s going to turn up later because of AKI’s arcade ending and FANG’s WT cutscene that has JP and Ed in it. But those aren’t the only reasons why FANG will come back. The same time I found out about the AKI commentator audio was also the time when I uncovered additional FANG audio. He only said a few lines in WT, but there are more lines that were not used in the game as of 11/15/2023. I extracted them all, both in English and Japanese.

ENGLISH

JAPANESE

I uploaded these audio clips on October 11, exactly one month before A.K.I.’s birthday. Go figure.

From the sounds of it, he has more varied reactions, some more missions for you to complete, and mentions M. Bison’s name twice in unknown contexts. I believe these voice lines will be utilized in later dlc, if not in the upcoming Ed release. I found the AKI birthday commentary audio long before her birthday was even announced, so I’m betting that we’ll hear these unused FANG voice lines in the future. Unfortunately I couldn’t find any battle voice lines for FANG, but perhaps in a future dlc he might be a fightable NPC?

If you’ve finished reading this, thanks for bearing with me lol.

[t-allyitup]

ed edd n eddy alphabet soup part ii anyone?

may be headed in the direction of a fic me thinks idk i'm just at a point where my brain is experiencing a creative outpouring in the form of ed edd n eddy content

[eddeddy specific i guess. let's see]

cw for substances, implied (but up to interpretation) traumatic events, child abuse/domestic violence mention, double d enjoying calculus

[also ... i may have mentioned this previously somewhere but i'm currently almost 2 years clean from dxm abuse & all drugs so PLEASE know that interactions with substances are not something that should be romanticized or promoted, i'm not trying to do that i just also have been in high school and as a teenager substances are something that exist]

[for purposes of me being me this story features the three ed's as seniors in high school, as well as rolf, kevin, and nazz. johnny & may kanker are juniors in high school, sarah & jimmy are sophomores, and eldest kankers have graduated hs]

[eddy's brother is in the can and staying there cuz i'm not about to deal with his ass sorry]

picking up from double d's brain alphabet soup...

- beginning

but that wasn't productive ruminating for the current task at hand, no.

no, the focus of his current endeavor, as he had been sorely forcing his near non-existent attention span back too, was familiarizing himself with the revision outline for the first calculus ii quiz of his last year of high school.

calculus had been relatively simple, the theoretical aspect of geometry soothingly absent from this branch of arithmetic, with many of the classic formula/solve/answer questions (however tedious the problems may be.) double d enjoyed problems with direct, proven answers, especially ones that would simply be labeled as correct or incorrect. knowing that without a doubt there was a proven, logical, factual answer for a problem was motivating and provided structure.

although he still received excellent markings in his literature classes, and had become especially gifted in theoretical analysis and research investigation, the concept of language left him feeling rather uncomfortable. while there were specific outlines, literary devices, and general frame of composition to guide him, a compelling and well-written piece of writing was largely subjective. personal opinions of the audience were essential to the response of the piece, and therefore effective criticism stemmed often from personal preference rather than execution.

ed, a third of double d’s nearly life-long trio of best friends, had surprisingly excelled in the areas of creative writing and storytelling in the past few years. while his spelling and grammar needed (and likely would always need) some work, his ability to reveal emotion in his writing was pleasantly shocking and impressive to both edd and eddy. double d had scanned ed’s last few impromptu creative writing assignments, and had beamed with pride at each one, offering only some minor suggestions each time that the other teen had taken with great appreciation and warmth. ed had also grown to become interested in cooking, and after nearly burning double d’s house to ash multiple times while trying to cook hot dog burgers, had gotten a strict warning that he'd better work on his scientific skills if he ever considered returning to double d's kitchen again. this had led to double d spending a few grueling hours explaining measurements and proper handling of equipment, but had ultimately paid off in the form of the trio enjoying a delicious ed-cooked meal nearly three times a week.

ed had also joined a d&d league, following a recommendation from a (long overdo) psychiatric assessment that ed had dyslexia and adhd, and would benefit from some time outside of his house. double d and eddy had understood that this was a nice way of the shrink telling ed's parents that their continued domestic violence mishaps and borderline abusive behavior towards their son had been resulting in cognitive decline, and that ed having a productive hobby and solid support system would hopefully be able to keep him stable and shield him from his parents further traumatizing him.

eddy was, to few of the cul-de-sac kid's surprise, quite gifted in the areas of communications, business, and physical education. following his brother’s arrest and eventual incarceration, eddy had been hitting the gym to try and kill off his festering anger and hurt from the abuse. he had made the junior varsity football team the first year, and was quickly promoted to varsity his sophomore year. eddy was still shorter than ed and double d, but was noticeably stronger and better ‘filled out.’ eddy had prided himself on his self-described 'total beefy hunk of a bod,' much to ed's howls of amusement and double d's eye roll of affection. while eddy worked tirelessly on his car, ranting about the 'idiotic lack of, if actually existent, formation strategy’ of the quarterback, double d had become increasingly aware of how eddy's personality had developed. it was clear that eddy had become more confident, in not only himself, but in his abilities. he also showed an impressive talent for pattern recognition, strategizing, and planning. this had been a major asset to their football team, who were mostly 6'2 boulders that had clearly only made the team for their size. of course, it was inevitable that eddy would always be the snarky little attention hog he was, but it was pretty clear to double d that eddy was also becoming observant and (though this may be a stretch) stabilized. he had also gotten tattoos, one of a dragon that matched with ed and a few for other reasons that double d hadn't been paying attention to due to his uncharacteristic staring in shock and (now identifiable) gay panic. eddy had developed an obsession with piercings, too. his ears, left eyebrow, right nostril, and tongue in specific were victims of this endevor, and although kevin had rolled his eyes and scoffed at the look, eddy looked incredible and had remained confident in his appearance.

in fact, it was jimmy, who had grown up more than anyone could imagine, who was the first to compliment eddy on his piercings. jimmy had taken up swimming and diving, as well as student government, and debate team with eddy. his voice was scratchy and soothing, and his ability to tear it up in the pool had astonished and overjoyed everyone. he had been returning to states for swim year after year since the 7th grade, and the legendary smile that had always been the focal feature of his face was now accompanied by a freckling of acne. his baja sweatshirts and acid wash jeans, along with a surprising choice of reebok shoes, had been proof of his own self-settling.

sarah had become distant, although physically present, halfway through freshman year. that october, a rumor had circulated about sarah that double d didn't even want to think about, especially after sarah had told him the truth about what had actually happened.

sarah stayed close to ed the next few years, the rare instance of a unmistakable clang of a sarah laugh present after a particularly goofy joke from jimmy or a swat at the hand of ed trying to steal a french fry was rare, but had become more common. the sound of her laugh was helpful for reminding them that she was healing, and that the blazing force of fire that lies inside, although flickering, hasn't gone out.

johnny had joined a d&d leauge with ed, and was unsurprisingly terrific at arts of all kinds. he had gotten lead roles in the last few student-led visual arts productions, twice as the main supporting character and once as the lead-joseph, in 'joseph and the amazing technicolor dreamcoat.' in the summers, johnny had played baseball, and was playing varsity by junior year. plank remained lodged in his backpack, a comforting reminder that some things never change.

rolf had also become interested in musical theater, as well as baseball. during baseball season, rolf, johnny, and kevin would spend lots of time together, baseball having brought them back. kevin and rolf remained close year round, rolf supporting kevin during football season and kevin supporting rolf at his theater performances, although theater was ‘nerdy’ in his unwarranted opinion.

to everyone's immense surprise, nazz had joined a band. she had joined a rock-n-roll jazz band with marie kanker and rolf, as well as two other boys and the occasional sarah on backup vocals. nazz had also joined the d&d league, per request of ed, and had seemed to be enjoying that. in the summer she played softball, also with marie, and had spent a great portion of each season trying to convince sarah to play.

nazz had grown into someone that double d deeply admired. she was authorative, inclusive, open, and stood firm in herself and her beliefs. she hadn't been interested in showing off, focusing primarily on connection and including others. the other boys in his grade had teased her for her interest in make up and fashion, and nazz didn't care. she enjoyed ‘feminine’ things because they made her happy, just like shredding on her guitar and playing d&d and other typically ‘masculine’ things made her happy. she did what she wanted to do, and she had told double d that even if she was applying make up or learning how to kick start a car engine to impress someone, than what's so wrong with that? what's wrong with wanting to look nice for someone, or wanting to be able to help them? what's wrong with having pride in yourself?

double d had went home after that conversation and started crying. he couldn't stop, and he didn't understand why he had been crying in the first place. he wasn't much of a crier at all-in fact he hadn't cried in months-but when nazz had explained that to him, he supposed he realized how much he cared about her. he realized that the kind of growth it takes to reach that conclusion could only stem from something changing, and he realized that an inevitable and painful part of growth is change.

he had also realized that change triggered advancement, which triggered the discovery of philosophies like the one nazz lived by.

it had also come to mind that to develop such a welcoming and independent philosophy, nazz may have experienced something that was possibly quite traumatizing.

it was the same string of thoughts that double d had regarding the look on eddy’s face before they parted ways for the night. the humid july night buzzed with cicadas and secondhand smoke hung suspended under the artificial buzz of the street light near their houses. a roar of laughter from eddy followed by a the scheming, sly smirk, the kind where you try to stop your teeth from showing but it happens anyway, the light producing a halo effect upon his best friend and leaving double d in a glowy haze. the way eddy’s nose scrunches slightly with the smile and the way his deep, spruce blue eyes stare coyly at him before he takes a final drag of a blunt rolled in a way the should be considered a violation of the herb's personal rights. his eyes mischievous but distant as his lips and lungs kill the joint for good, the image of eddy flicking the discarded paper away and exhaling the smoke upwards. following this dramatic gesture, was what eddy had said to double d moments before he had said goodnight on that warm july evening.

'd, there's no point in me stayin’ after graduation. nothin’ left to stay for once you and lumpy leave for school. i'm leaving this shithole, one way or another.’

double d remembers that moment exactly. the moment that triggered everything to follow, the specific moment when he had realized that he was absolutely terrified of losing his best friend in a way that hadn't previously aligned with his stasis levels. he remembers eddy waving goodbye, calling something about ‘catching him later,’ and double d paced back home and locked himself in his room.

he thought of what nazz had said earlier that day when the older kids of rhe cul-de-sac had gathered at rolf's for table tennis and an excuse to finish a pack of twisted teas. that it isn't wrong to want. it was, in fact, a fundamental function of a sentient creatures existence, and that the external shame that people project on others for having desires in inherently hypocritical. nazz, with her laid back attitude and approachable demeanor, sharing the wisdom of a life once lived through self-criticism.

he thought of what eddy had said about leaving this place, one way or another, and it was then that double d let the pieces of his strained conscious unravel and descended into a fit of choking through tears.

it was becoming very obvious to that eddward that he was entering an entirely different plane of trouble.

- end

if i spelled something wrong no i didn't . gn

[kohiiflux]

March might be my favorite NPC in FoM now.

I will not ship him with my farmer (I might ship him with Ryis tho)- I prefer him to be my farmer's rival. I am on a creative rut for drawing but this is how I imagine the second heart event with March goes

Chapter 1: Jealous Much?

character: Farmer X Marsh (platonic)

Flori swung the hammer to her newly minted iron pickaxe. This will make it easier to collect materials for the general store. Ever since she put her past as a mercenary behind, she felt more trusting to her new life in Mistria. Although everything needs checks and balances in her eyes, Mistria seems so different than all the places she went.

It felt like a home that she could live and put her roots down.

"Finally" she sighed and drown her newly formed pickaxe in the water. A tinge of cold air suddenly flicked her neck. She felt she has been watched all this time.

"..... hello?"

The door behind her closed. In retrospect, March did call her to meet him. Out of all the villagers, she had always keep her distance from him the most. He had never really displayed friendliness outwardly, so Flori would rather not disturb him except for important matters.

Out of sight, out of mind, and out of respect for his privacy.

Flori raised her eyebrows and followed suit.

"You called?" Flori closed the door behind her

"I didn't think you'd actually show" March scoffed.

"I hear you have made yourself useful around town, everybody only has good things to say about you." March put his hands to the table, his eyebrows furrowed slightly.

Flori sensed the tense atmosphere and contemplated on things to say. She had never really thought on being a positive influence at all. She's here for work, a job offered by Adeline for all qualified adventurers. Flori stayed silent and held any reservations to keep her job and estate, and decided that conflict with the town's blacksmith must be avoided at all costs.

"Well" Flori put on her smiling act, something she learned living as a freelance mercenary.

"It's been lots of fun helping around town, I am glad I can be of service-"

"Cut the act." March cut her short.

"We both know what's ACTUALLY going on here." He glared at her, tearing down her walls of smile.

"Oh please, you are in way over your head. You come out here, no farming experience, and you think you can fake your way through running a farm? And now everyone in town acts like it was YOU who won the best blacksmithing trophy three years in a row." March continued his deathly stare.

Flori felt insulted, but he was right. Flori was never a farmer, she only knows the basic of gardening and tending on animals from her mother who is the royal gardener, but she did not work hard for this position.

"It's all fun and games now, but the second things actually get tough I am sure you are going to ditch Mistria and all its problems."

Flori had enough, she had withheld every single wits before , but it seems like no one ever puts the young blacksmith out of his ego before.

"I have worked in other places, I don't know March, have you heard about transferable skills before ? Have you even stepped out of your comfort zone once in your life?" Flori approached him calmly and returned his stare. March knew he stepped out of line now.

"Jealousy is an ugly thing, March." Flori tapped her fingers on the table, a small gesture that shake March's core.

March stuttered.

"We will see." He hobbled his way backwards.

Both insecure individuals glared at each other. Their stubbornness is fighting one another.

"You think you can hack it for the long haul? Here."

March gave her a hoe infused with a lightweight spell, Flori raised an eyebrow.

"You made this? I've never worked as a blacksmith but I give you this, I can tell this is skillfully done." She inspected the hoe.

"shut up." March looked the other way.

"If you fail, you can't blame it on my lack of help from me. Who knows, maybe you will surprise me." March walked away signaling the end of the tense atmosphere.

"I mean, I am here still standing tall. Ain't that surprising enough ?" Flori calmly excused herself out of the door.

"See you around." March continued his work around the workshop.

"Stood your ground huh. I like that." Flori closed the door.

-End-

Tell me if you want a chapter two for this angsty friendship rivalry thingy!

[jilyarchive]

OCTOBER AUTHOR SPOTLIGHT: MISSGRYFFIN

Q: Where can we find you and your stories?

A: @missgryffin​, AO3

Q: How would you describe your writing style?

A: Intense, sexy, snappy, and fast-paced. I have a rampant imagination and love a good sexual tension build-up, so my fics usually include a lot of plot, drama, and (of course) smut.

Q: How do you come up with ideas for your writing?

A: It’s such a grab-bag. A pretty substantial number of my fics have originated from prompts, actually! I also draw a lot on TV shows/movies I’ve seen, novels I’ve read, tropes I see that I’m inspired to try, etc. Also, I find that a lot of my ideas actually form while I’m writing. I’ll go in with a sense of direction, but it’s not until I’m writing and really in the thick of it that the details take shape, and then new ideas begin to spout off from there, based on what I learn about what the characters and story need.

Q: When and why did you begin writing fanfiction?

A: Technically, during the two-year wait between the releases of books 5 and 6, because I was utterly HP obsessed, my imagination was in overdrive thinking about what could happen in the final two books, and I had discovered MuggleNet fanfiction / FFN by that point, so I’d been devouring all of that early era of HP fanfic. I actually have a giant binder of my own fanfic writing from that period; I would type up stories in Word, format them with fun fonts and fan art covers I found online, and print them out for myself. (Which, I still do this!) Fun fact: there’s even a Marauders story in there that I had completely forgotten about that has a striking resemblance to the bones of Eternal Summer. It genuinely freaked me out a little when I found it, ha! 

 But even though I wrote creatively through most of my childhood/school phases of life, I had taken a pretty substantial break in early adulthood and didn’t “return” to writing until the pandemic in 2020. Life was bizarre, Netflix had gotten boring, and I was craving a creative outlet or hobby that could make lockdown bearable. I randomly stumbled my way back to fanfic / fandom, and here we are!

Q: What’s one thing you’d tell someone who is considering reading one of your fics?

A: Buckle up! 🎢 Also, I hope you are either i) at home, or ii) have a really great NSFW poker face 😅 But to give a more serious answer, I’d say that I write a wide range of tones, and I really lean in to what that tone is. If a fic is tagged for fluff and crack, it will be so adorably sweet and cringe-funny that your face will hurt from smiling. If a fic is tagged for angst and darker themes, it will feel like a knife to the gut. (If it’s tagged for all of the above—cough Eternal Summer cough—you’re at the front of a line for a wild rollercoaster, my friend!) Since I write both extremes, I’m never offended when readers skip fics or prefer one “genre” to another. But please know that Jily is always endgame in all of my stories—that’s the whole reason why we’re here 💗

Q: What are some of your favorite Jily tropes?

A: Enemies to lovers is my #1, even if it’s more of that “enemies-ish” rivalry at the beginning. There’s just nothing more quintessentially Jily to me than the process of them discovering more layers to the other person and slowly realizing that the other person is so much more than the antagonist they’d built up in their head. (And that they -gasp- actually…like them! Worse, they like them like them! A lot!) Gets me every time. 

Other favorites include There Was Only One Bed, Hurt/Comfort, and Forced Proximity/Stuck/Trapped. 

Q: What do you like most about the Jily fandom?

A: That we celebrate how much of a power couple Jily is. I’m going to quote @jilyss’ answer for this because it’s so true: we understand James has an arrogant streak but grew up, we celebrate Lily for the intelligent, strong, cool, bamf woman she is, and we appreciate how they’re true, complementary equals finding real, raw love with one another. (And also all the wonderful reader and fellow-writer friends I’ve made! 😘)

Q: Pick a favourite Marauders era character.

A: My man JP. From only the few hints we get about him in the books, we know he’s such a dynamic person, and I really love bringing him to life. Also, his growth/redemption story deserved more air-time, so I’m glad fanfic is here to fill that gap.

Q: Self-promo time! List the fics that you are most proud of writing.

A:

Eternal Summer – My first born! Even though it’s far from being finished and needs a lot of work, I’m really proud of the world-building I’ve done thus far. 

Vindicated – This was thrilling for me to write because it’s a total departure from what I’d previously written: second chances, canon-divergent AU, American settings, original characters, more adult relationship, etc. I have more planned for this universe and I’m really excited for it. 

for the hope of it all – My latest completed fic. I challenged myself to write a softer, friends-to-lovers, mutually pining kind of summer fic, and this came together in a flood. But what makes me proud is that with this fic, I could really see how much my writing has evolved and improved from those early ES days. 

Q: Fic rec time! Could you recommend a few of your favourite Jily fics?

A:

Of Chrysalism by @maraudersftw​ – It’s only a short one-shot, but the way this fic haunts me!! Exquisite. 

The Wedding Ring by @mppmaraudergirl​ – Lauren is the Nancy Meyers of Jily, and this fic is the epitome of that. A total comfort fic for me; I want it to be a movie that I can play in my living room over and over again until I know it by heart. 

Eighteen Again by @scriibble-fics​ – If I didn’t know scriibble was getting her PhD in History, I’d think she was a screenwriter. The world-building in this fic is like no other—I’m in a constant state of chills when I read it. The emotional depth, the heartbreak, the romance, the political intrigue…it’s one of those fics that never leaves you.

Thank you @missgryffin​ for letting us ‘interview’ you and for sharing your fics with us! ❤️

[candycandy00]

So this might seem like a controversial opinion, and please keep in mind that this only applies to me personally, but I don’t mind at all when someone Likes a bunch of my fanfics without reblogging them. 

Let me be clear, of course I prefer reblogs or comments. Of freaking course. But if you just click Like on my post? That’s great! I’m flattered and I’m happy you enjoyed my writing enough to click that little heart. I honestly can’t imagine not being happy with a large number of Likes. 

So I’ll explain why I feel this way, and bear with me because I have to delve into a bit of my history as a writer. 

I started writing fanfiction in my early teen years. When the internet was still young. When fan-run forums were a great place to post them. When we all had “shrines” to our favorite characters hosted on Geocities, joined thirty web rings, nervously posted our first lemons, and fought off flamers. 

I wrote fanfiction for many years, for lots of different fandoms. And I loved doing it. I loved the feeling of being part of a community of fans. I loved being creative with the stories I enjoyed. But most of all I loved the feedback, the engagement. Regardless of the quality of my work (and let’s be real, those early fics were super cringe), I got reviews, comments, people telling me to continue. And the feedback came almost immediately. Within hours of posting something, there would be at least a few comments or reviews. These pushed me to keep writing, because I wanted more. More reviews. More encouragement. More reactions. Feedback and engagement are the most addictive drugs to a writer. Knowing someone read your words, and even better, knowing they enjoyed them? Instant high. 

However, my true passion has always been original fiction. I’ve been making stories since I was a small child. I’ve had “novels” in progress since I was ten years old. And at some point, after basking in the feedback of fanfiction, I decided to focus more on my original work. My dream was always to be a published novelist, after all. So after many many years as a fanfiction author, I left fanfiction behind. I returned to it very briefly a few years later, wrote exactly two fics, then left it again. 

I worked on my original fiction. I wrote and actually finished multiple novels. I edited, rewrote, etc. Then I excitedly began querying literary agents. And the result? Form rejection after form rejection. Not a single request for the full manuscript or even a partial manuscript. Not a single word of feedback. And this repeated with each novel I wrote. 

Desperate for feedback, I started posting my stories on various places online. Wattpad. Here on tumblr. Various forums and other websites for posting original work. I even joined Facebook groups specifically for sharing your unpublished novels to get feedback. The result was still a resounding “nothing”. No comments. No likes or votes or reviews or reblogs. A small handful of views on Wattpad was all I got. And I’m talking small. Like less than 20 per chapter. On some stories, less than 5. It was like my work was invisible. No one would give it a second glance. 

After all of this I started to question myself. Was I actually any good at writing to begin with? Had I just deluded myself into thinking I had any talent whatsoever? Getting zero feedback or engagement on all of it was crushing. I would much rather get negative feedback than none at all. It was like screaming into the void, to keep posting work that would be totally ignored.  

At some point I remembered how wonderful it felt to get feedback on my fanfiction. And I craved that again. I’d been following a few blogs on here that took requests (blogs like this one I’m currently running). I actually sent a few anon requests into them. And at the same time I was thinking of how much I missed writing fanfics, I got a few ideas for fics that just would not leave my brain. So I wrote my first BNHA fanfic, and my first fanfic in general in many years. That was Break Time, a Shigaraki x Reader fic. It was my first x Reader fic as well, and it took me a bit of effort to get used to the format. But I did it. I wrote it. And then, I nervously posted it to this blog, and waited to see if anyone would spare it a glance. 

When those Likes started coming in, I literally teared up. It was like, “Oh so I can still entertain people with my writing. People still like my work.” Coming from the barren wasteland of zero feedback, those dozens of Likes early on were like an oasis. Each one meant more to me than you can ever imagine. 

So for me, it absolutely boggles my mind that anyone could actively hate getting Likes. I get it, reblogs and comments are so much better. But are Likes that terrible? 

To me, it’s like this: Likes are like small pieces of candy. Reblogs and comments are like big strawberry parfaits. Do I prefer a big strawberry parfait to a piece of candy? Of course I do. But if someone walks up to me and gives me a piece of candy, I’m not gonna be mad at that person. I still like candy, even if I get way more excited about the parfait. And when you spend several years getting no candy whatsoever, you definitely appreciate it when people start giving you some. 

And yeah, it’s definitely frustrating to see other people getting strawberry parfaits and all you ever get is candy, but does that make it alright to be a total jerk to the next person who gives you candy? To angrily scream that you’re not accepting candy because people aren’t giving you enough parfaits? Honestly, it just makes you seem petty to me. 

(And to clarify, saying you’re frustrated about not getting parfaits is not what I’m talking about, yelling at the people giving you candy and being super rude about it is what I’m talking about.)

If you’re someone who is getting genuinely angry at people for Liking your stuff, I invite you to try a little experiment. Write an original piece of fiction. Just a short story, but put a lot of effort into it. Then post it. Literally anywhere. I can guarantee you that the next time you get a bunch of Likes on your fanfics, you’ll appreciate them. 

All this to say, feel free to Like my stuff! Spam Like my stuff! I’m cool with it. Will I get all squishy and blushy if you reblog or comment? Yes. I most definitely will. But if for some reason you only feel comfortable Liking it, it still makes me smile. 

Also, end note here, but I don’t reblog fanfic. I reblog art, gif sets, etc. but not fanfic. That’s because this is my fanfic writing blog and I have this fear that people will confuse the reblogged fanfic for being my work, and I hate the idea of getting credit for someone else’s work. I know this might be an irrational fear. I am planning to make a secondary blog just for reblogging fics I enjoy. I’ll link it when I do in case anyone wants to follow it for a curated list of really great fics! 

[piqueconcentration]

Jitterbug Perfume - Immortality, Sex, and Discomfort

Originally posted January 31, 2024

As is apparently my preferred introduction: It has been quite a while since I have written anything on my computer, but as generally happens after I manage to read or, dare I say it, complete an actual, tangible book, I now am doing so. I type this knowing that Google docs is using my writing to train adolescent artificial intelligentsia, and theoretically I could make the switch to another software, but as is the case with Adobe, the monopoly’s Matrix-style robotic belly-button parasite keeps a firm hold on my psyche, with an extra bonding agent in the form of a powerful distaste for the effort that it would take to learn an entirely foreign user interface, just to marginally weaken the hold that Google has upon my intellectual property, when they are already in possession of basically all of my identifying information. They could probably construct an AI that would perfectly replicate my online presence, idiosyncrasies and ego included, and the only thing that they would have to do at this point to make convincing blog posts from my perspective is post them about as regularly as an agave flowers. If anything, if this particular post goes up on the internet at all, maybe that’s a red flag- I would have to be a mind outside of my own in order to return to a creative project even after my attention span’s honeymoon.

Whatever. I finished a book, and now I am compelled to write. Actually, I finished two books. The first was Brandon Sanderson’s Mistborn, the first of the Mistborn trilogy, one that i meant to read way back in high school because some youtuber that I liked at the time had recommended it for its magic system- magic systems, as a concept, I would continue to grow increasingly interested in; the books would remain untouched on my shelf. The second was lent to me by one of my housemates, though I can’t remember the conversation that led to that happening- Jitterbug Perfume by Tom Robbins.

Actually, now that I’m thinking about it, the declaration about me being compelled to write after reading books is only true in the barest sense. Yes, I do feel an urge to write after being exposed to writing that I like, but by no means does that mean that I actually end up, or even begin for that matter, writing anything at all! Also, that same urge doesn’t just apply to writing. I consume manga at a frightening pace, and though by saying this it may imply the opposite sentiment: I do not say that in order to brag- the speed at which I go through webcomics and manga alike is, frankly, detrimental to my experience of the media in question, as I end up retaining almost nothing of what I have had my head immersed in so much that my neck develops knots that hold it at a painful right angle to my torso. I don’t really stop and breathe in the images that the mangaka probably spent hours and hours drawing; if anything, I mostly pay attention to the words written on the page which, in turn, presents a palpable irony in that the reason I have felt unable to read traditional books in recent years is that my attention span balks at walls of text! 

Hey, authors! I won’t read your book even though I’d probably like it, because it doesn’t have any pictures in it! Show me your work once you’ve learned to draw!

Oh, holy shit the irony goes even deeper. Even though I feel that creative urge when I read manga, all of my attempts at making comics or even working to be skilled enough at drawing to feel confident in my capacity to do so are stopped in their tracks by the thus far insurmountable obstacle of not being able or willing to pay attention to the thing that I’m drawing for long enough to finish anything. Good lord. 

______________________________________________________________

Anyway, the way Jitterbug Perfume was written really affected me. I still can’t tell if I liked it very much (the writing style), but to be fair, I really loved the way George Elliot’s Middlemarch was written, but I have been thus far unable to finish that book by virtue of its inexhaustibly prim density; therefore I suppose that the content of a book and its writing style tend to stay fairly separate considering my enjoyment, and the former aspect seems to have a stronger influence on whether or not I actually manage to make it to the back cover.

In this case, the content was excellent. Jitterbug Perfume was described to me as being about immortality, smell, sex, and beets, and I can’t honestly think of a better way to describe it. It’s a jigsaw puzzle of a story, if all of the pieces on the table were from different moments in time, and at the end, when the pieces fit, you are left with a complete picture that somehow shows an unbelievably cohesive, intimately personal tale, despite the massive scope, time-wise (there are very important events that take place before the advent of Christianity, and plot points of similar influence continue to happen all the way up until modern day).

Now that I think about it, the quality of maintaining a story’s characters and relationships, and especially keeping them as tantamount to the direction and tone of the piece, even when the scope of the story has expanded to include over two thousand years of history, even if that history is embellished upon or entirely invented, is an incredible achievement, and one that I think deserves unending praise. So frequently I find myself put off of pieces of media when, though I once enjoyed them for their characters’ dynamics or their dialogue or their writing styles, those aspects eventually were beaten out of the story by the growing scale of the events taking place. It becomes very difficult for me to continue to be invested in the little things that I like, and for that matter, for the author to continue stipulating on those little things’ presence, when suddenly the fate of the world is at stake, or the consequences of failure become so dire that there is no longer room in the work for mirth. 

Jitterbug does this by keeping the story focused almost entirely upon a static set of characters. In all honesty, I do tend to find it a bit grating when a book throws pretty much all of the people that will be introduced over the duration at me all at once, and I also tend to get annoyed when a book switches perspectives back and forth frequently, as it is inevitable that I will be more interested in one of the followed points of view above all of the others (or vice versa, that one of the points of view is especially dull). Let it be known, though generally the book in question pays most attention to the characters that happen to be changing the most, it does do this.

The upside, though, is that even as the setting around the characters morphs drastically with all the changes associated with the world and culture since literally the year 1, the reader is still anchored in the everyday realities of the main characters. The tone of the story stays heavily reliant on each of their emotional states and their changing dynamics. The plot directly follows in the tracks of the characters’ desires and aspirations. As opposed to them being “interesting” people to be around in situations that they have no agency in, they are the driving force of the plot itself, and in this way the book can get away with a mind-boggling amount of in-universe time passing without it ever detaching the reader from the story, or impeding their willingness to care.

That feeling of detachment is exactly the sentiment behind me dropping To Your Eternity by Yoshitoki Oima, a manga that also tackles the concept of immortality, but in a way that I eventually found extraordinarily grating.

Some pieces of media, especially if they continue for a really long time, and even more especially if they are about characters that live much longer than a normal human lifespan, end up bestowing upon these characters a very particularly draining character arc: eventually becoming the most fucking boring people ever. This isn’t really, I don’t think, a product of repetition of personality beats -One Piece, for example, has a main cast that are each fairly one-note, but to me they remain compelling because of the unrelenting new situations, characters, and settings that they rotate through- rather, a common sentiment on the concept of immortality is that a person who is subjected to it will elect that it is a much smarter thing to avoid attachments and emotions as a way of staving off the pain of repeated loss. Combine that with the formula of introducing a bunch of new people, spending a lot of time with them, and then killing them off and meditating on how pointless it all was, and you will have on one hand: a philosophically engaging story about life’s purpose and value; and on the other: one that I will not be reading anymore. Fuck you.

Each time skip in To Your Eternity, my dejection would build, and even though I did enjoy the concepts therein quite a bit, I eventually quit reading when there was a time skip that jumped over so many years that the archaic setting I had been enjoying was gone, along with any characters aside from the protagonist that I may have liked, and I no longer had the will to continue.

Anyway, the point is that Jitterbug Perfume deftly avoids this problem by holding the human experience as an inalienable thru-line. Longer-lived characters don’t become harder to identify with- if anything they become more dear to the reader, as the sentiments that are the crux of their longevity are easily identified with. Their goals, whether they are aware of it or not, are the preservation of emotion and connection- things that the reader can presumably empathize with quite well.

The writing style I would describe as “irreverently confident and connotatively confusing.” The majority of the instances in which Robbins describes anything in this book are unrelentingly riddled with descriptors of every kind, and often of opposing kinds- many sentences use several adjectives to describe a single thing, and the adjectives often carry wildly different connotations. A single line may depict something as both gorgeous and disgusting, just by virtue of the words chosen. Jitterbug is more than willing to yank the reader back and forth like this, and the literary whiplash results in this sort of all-encompassing feeling of mild discomfort. The prose itself is captivating, but in less of the fashion of a ballet performance and more so like a lapdance that really walks the line between attractive and nauseating.

Regardless of whether or not I enjoy the style personally (I still can’t really tell, but I’m leaning toward the favorable side), it strikes me as being exactly what the author wanted. Off-putting, certainly, but one hundred percent intentional. A significant portion of the book’s subject matter consists of topics and sentiments that are at most culturally taboo, and at least playing fast and loose with modern morals and sentiments, especially when it comes to sex. This book, which I really enjoyed, which made me smile and frown and think and even write… will not shut the fuck up about sex.

Every character is steeped in it. Every metaphor is constructed with it. I feel like I could purchase a brand new copy of this fucking thing and its pages would already be stuck together. To get a sense of my feelings (historically) about this- one of my favorite quotes of a friend of mine is from when they asked me: “Hey [my name], would you rather have sex or be stabbed with a knife?”

My point about the “motion sickness” writing style being that it works in favor of the subject matter. The fact that the whole novel is written in a way that makes the reader a little nauseous, figuratively, creates a tone that is much more conducive to, well, not necessarily the intimate discussion of what our society views as crossing lines in the social sand or what should or should not be allowed, but rather the regular enunciation of kind of uncomfortable topics. Combined with a fairly unconcerned and playful tone, the book is able to deftly accept the discomfort that arises from a journey that holds sex as a central theme while progressing through several different settings -cultural and chronological- all with differing views and judgements about a traditionally awkward topic.

Anyway, I liked the book. There is a sentence in there that goes: “Like jugged bees, the funeral orations droned on (134).”

If you think you can make it past all of the disconcertingly flowery (ha, ha.) descriptions of bodily fluids for long enough to make it to that absolute banger of a quote, this may be one to check out.