#i know it's sappy but y'all genuinely make me so happy

[the-oracle-of-the-lost]

it's officially been a year since i made this blog!!

i kinda thought i would abandon it after a few weeks since i hadn't been on the social internet in awhile but i'm very glad that i kept it up because i've felt so much more creatively inspired and generally happier since i starting actively blogging. the Star Trek and Doctor Who EU fandoms (or at least my little corner of the fandoms) are great and are lovely communities to belong to. much love to all my friends, mutuals, and followers <3333

[sapwine-and-starcharts]

A Love Letter to the Fandom

So i've been trying to learn something from the Outer Wilds OST to play on the Webfishing Guitar again and ouuughhh

I have not actually played the game in MONTHS. My first ever serious playthrough was in 2020 ish and I replayed the whole thing as research for my fics a few months ago and when I tell you that the OST still makes me WILDLY emotional.

Listening to so many of my fav tracks, looking at medleys, researching guitar tabs so I can pick them apart and piece them back together, and STILL Riebecks Banjo gets me every time. Literally cannot hear a single banjo twang without getting misty-eyed.

It makes me wanna get all sappy and emotional about this game and everything it means to me

So I will <3

This game's fandom has been some of the most welcoming and sincere people I have ever met.

There are people on discord who've helped me come out of my shell (You know who you are I hope <3). I usually just join a server to lurk before ultimately putting it in a folder to never look at again but these people...

They encouraged me, thought the things I shared were worth something even when I'd feel low about my art or writing. I made friends, people I enjoy talking to which is a FEAT because my social anxiety is so bad I can barely reach out to my irls anymore.

There are people on AO3 whose comments kept me writing. There are people on tumblr who inspire me with their art every day.

Im genuinely so happy that I refound the game when I did because with it I also found community and acceptance and it changed me for the better i think.

From the bottom of my heart, thank you to everyone in the Outer Wilds fandom who has been there for me.

I love y'all and im sorry for getting so emotional on this silly lil side of mine.

<3

PS. This is the medley that made me sit down and write this btw. Give it a listen because it is BEAUTIFUL

[feralwetcat]

I haven't been very sappy on main so *throws sad shit at you* (aka me thanking the fable community and cast again, cuz goddammit you guys are so neat and cool)

Fable smp was, and is probably one of my favorite things I've discovered, i clicked on one of heyhays vods one day on a whim and gods im so glad i did, the way Fable has shaped me as a person and helped me improve is honestly crazy, its how i got into doing art, how i improved, how i met most of my friends, its genuinely been an amazing journey.

For me as a person, my home has always been an odd environment, without getting into too much detail my family has lots of trauma circling around, my brother and dad especially, so the way Fable comforted me through bad days, or when my dad would burst out at me or my mum, its genuinely such a crazy thing that these little block guys have helped me through so fucking much, the way they've helped me discover who i am, to feel represented through so many characters, heck even just hyperfixating with others, its amazing

Its helped me become more confident in my own skin, able to accept my body and how fucked up it is, from the rep with disabilities to identities, seeing something like "hey i have that!" Or "i experience that!", even the small pieces, its so fuckin awesome to see such cool people that are honestly like me

To all the cast: thank you, if not for making Fable, but for representing people, for showing us how much of an outlet being creative can be, and everything in between, all of this is so crazy how cool and detailed it is, truly.

To the fandom: you all are so fuckin cool, the way i get so excited when you guys interact with my stuff, art, silly posts, or just jokes, it's just so cool to interact with y'all, I've made so many friends and i know I'll make more, especially with all the smps y'all promote, keep doin that, i love your stuff guys<3

(now for specifics that have made me feel seen ayo)

To Athena: thank you, genuinely, for making a space that i feel seen in, i feel welcome in, the rep with C!Athenas disability and still having a great time, having a fulfilling life, which I've been told so many times I can't have due to my disabilities, its so amazing, even if its sleepy stardew, lore, or anything in-between, your community and self is so inviting and comforting. Your voice has always been so comforting (like a chill pink mixed with a light coffee brown feel:]), and i genuinely can't thank you enough, if not for representing me, but for becoming a comfort streamer for me

To Ghosty: Caspian as a character was so cool to see, his story was like a good book really, one you could pull up and watch with some tea or hot coco and a blanket, one that was so interesting, I've experienced some of the issues he worked through and it felt so amazing to see, especially a trans character whos entire personality wasn't that he was trans, or a character who struggled with grief but was still happy and able to be *alright* sometimes, thank you.

To Sherb: the way you did lore, and continue to do lore, always excited me, got me feeling genuine emotions, which I've always struggled with, it made me get into storytelling, something I've always enjoyed, it made me get into telling my own stories, its been so enjoyable, and will continue to be ! Icarus as a character made me feel seen in the way that you can care for someone, trust them fully, but they can still be a good person, but the way they treat you makes you believe they're a good person, and thats really important to me. Thank you Sherbert

To Connor: gods your writing is so cool, your fics motivated me to start writing again, and Ulysses as a character as well is such an interesting character, his writing is so neat and his story again made me feel so seen in many ways, and your writing is so good

Finally, To Beck: Arisanna was and continues to be a character i resonate with, always working for someone, never for yourself, feeling alone at times even with many people, having to or feeling like you have to provide for your friends and family, i grew up feeling like i had to protect my older brother, make sure he was alright, and Ari made me feel seen in that way, thanks for that, really

Thank you everyone, for supporting me, through my art, pickup lines, or just dumb jokes

Signed, FeralWetCat (Kai)

[lupaeusarc]

𝘑𝘜𝘚𝘛 𝘍𝘌𝘌𝘓𝘐𝘕𝘎 𝘗𝘖𝘚𝘐𝘛𝘐𝘝𝘐𝘛𝘠 𝘝𝘐𝘉𝘌𝘚 𝘐𝘋𝘒

i saw some people doing these end of year posts and i'm in a sappy mood so happy holidays and here's some people i adore !!

@stanfordprepped JARED my bestie my love the light of my life you're genuinely one of my best friends and an absolute day one ride or die i can't even describe how much samemma and cassdell mean to me and our other ships are top tier as well i'm so glad i met you and i'll get to updating cassie's aesthetic and bringing some cassdell to the dash right after this 🤍

@carp3diems ceejay . bestie . partner in crime . sounding board for every chaotic thought that goes through my mind . i adore you and our plots and threads and the way i can just hop into your dms like " hey can i traumatize our muses rq " and you're always down lmao you're so talented and i'm just very thankful for you and for colbemma and for all of our chaos

@multi-royalty maddieeeeeee i love you so much my big little sissy 🥹 the only person i'll write em in the tvdu for and the reason i'm still writing at all i owe so much to you and i appreciate that even if we don't talk constantly you know i think you're the bees knees and you make the rpc a better place you absolute ball of sunshine

@stilesstylelinski trick you fuckin goblin i don't know what i would do without our bullshit or your unconditional emotional support you and i have both had a pretty shit year and i'm just really glad we could lift each other up even a little bit throughout all of it . stemma owns my soul and i'm still just in awe of your portrayal okay you basically pull the boy off the screen

@boundforhale MOM mom i love you mom i'm so grateful for you and for the gremlin chat and for all the support and love you give . you're so talented and kind and you need to be NICER to yourself for taking your time with replies i would be happy with a reply a year okay plus derek is a stubborn asshole it wouldn't make sense if he woke up all the time lol when he does he comes out swinging though you knock it out of the park every time

@ruinedmyself twin 🤍 i think you're so neat okay the way your brain works is so fascinating and the love you put into your muses is like palpable you're so cool and so talented and brooklyn and sam are so fucking funny i can't watch the basement yard anymore without thinking of them . i'll make more edits of them soon the accuracy is just so unreal lol

@inkedmuses VVVVVV listen i have such brainrot for john b and emma right now they make me so happy all of our ships are so cute and interesting and i love them so much you have some of the coolest plot ideas ever it's so chaotic and so fun to just yell ideas at each other and bring them to life

@guiltye LILLY i mean i just could yell forever and i will i WILL yell forever i can't even believe how intricate and deep and unique all of our plots are i'm constantly in awe of your mind every time i get a meme or reply from you i'm starstruck i love you and i love yelling about noah with you and i just think you're so fucking cool and so creative and talented and interesting and strong as all hell and you just never fail to make me smile *mandolin playing* you got all my love 🤍

@n0prom1ses lumiiii listen i love these idiot sisters so much already and i think all of our ships and dynamics are so neat 🥹 i'm sad we lost so much time especially knowing why but i'm so glad nature is healing and that sonny is once again dragging asher by the balls bc frankly it's what he goddamn deserves

i could literally go on for hours but i do want to get some things done lmao so here's some more people that my note to is this : i adore y'all and i hope you have the best holidays / new year and that 2024 brings you everything you hope for 🤍

@svnflowehrs , @escapedfromthevoiid , @hellgiven , @qapsiel , @westwingsolo , @r4chelamber , @ofcrxwns , @ofblackskies , @neverrcry , @gunchamber , @controlledvolatility , @sarcasticsnackpack , @localsalt , @fuckmeupindie , @hstoryhuh , @mecwmellc , @surgcns , @unitcd , @unbearablyindifferent

[schizochasm]

Not to get all sappy on y'all...

But.

(cut, cause God I got long winded. I have a lot to say to y'all it turns out...)

I have a couple of mutuals I legit love. I'd Hate to see you go. Unless it's cause you're recovering. In which case I'd be ecstatic! I care about you. I worry about you. I see you post and I feel you. You matter to me. You really do.

And everyone who's on here, I care. I see you. And I feel your pain and your struggles. I hope for you. I want the best for you. I need you to know that.

I'm autistic and schizophrenic. I have stopped caring what people think of my way of saying things and doing things by now. Its been over a decade with this. I don't say things just to say them. I'm brutally honest and brutally myself. Especially here. I'd Never tell you this if I didn't mean it. I Mean it!

You all matter to me.

I see you post and if you're struggling I hurt for you.

If you're succeeding with something or are happy about something, Im celebrating with you and cheering for you.

I'm too paranoid to respond to dms. But I love responding to y'all publicly. (I use my likes as a save for later, which is why Im not liking your posts.)

I'm here. I see you. And I care.

This community at large is so caring and loving and warm. And you've all changed my loneliness in my 3d to feeling seen and heard. And every damn time I respond and someone says it made them feel better, or just a simple thank you, it makes me feel a little better.

If I can make any of you feel better, or calmer, or heard, that's everything to me.

I know how lonely many of us are. Me included.

I'm alone by choice. But I know many of you aren't.

And if I can make you feel even a little better... That means the world to me. And I know how much that can mean.

Genuinely, from one fd up person to another, I want the best for you. I see you. And I'll be here. Reading your "stupid" little updates. And rooting for you.

You got this!

I truly am so thankful for this community and all it means to me.

You're not alone.

I'm right here with you.

Stay safe.

And do your best.

It may not "be enough." But it's all you can do. And I'm proud of you.

You all deserve recovery.

You all deserve a good life and to love yourselves.

You all deserve love and respect.

From the bottom of my sappy cringey heart, I promise you deserve to be happy and healthy.

Peace.

[affectionatelyrs]

2023 Writing Roundup

Thank you to @anincompletelist @happiness-of-the-pursuit @hgejfmw-hgejhsf @littlemisskittentoes @rockyroadkylers @songliili and @xthelastknownsurvivorx for the tags

*Taps mic* is this thing on? Yeah? Great. Allow me to be somewhat sappy for a moment then.

I started writing in August of this year. As in, I haven't written fic/majorly creatively ever before this, and it's something that I never thought I would do. Until I did. And my goodness... I'm so insanely grateful that I decided to start. Writing has given me so much purpose - It's something I genuinely adore; it makes me incredibly happy that I get to share my words with all of y'all, and the people I've met have been so incredibly lovely. So, without further ado, here's what I've written in 2023! :)

January through July

Nothing, I was just an avid reader

August

Far too Enamored to be Content Now | M | 2k | One Shot

"You've been rather quiet all evening, H," Alex muses, trailing one long finger up the expanse of Henry's neck, higher, higher, high, until it lingers over his bottom lip. Taps it with the pad a few times. "Why don't you use that pretty mouth of yours to tell me what you want then, hmm?" Alex is expecting Henry's lips to pucker, their typical automatic response to this action. What he is not expecting, however, is the way Henry's lips slightly part before taking his finger slowly into his mouth and sucking, never once breaking eye-contact. - Henry is bloody starving.

You Came Out of Nowhere (And You Cut through All the Noise) | E | 10.9k | One Shot (with a bonus chapter)

Alex starts to feel worse about how he reacted to the man earlier — he’s usually all bark and no bite, but how is the bartender supposed to know that? Alex can be snarky, but he’s never cruel. Allowing his lips to quirk up into a small smile, he replies “Yeah. Yeah, I’m fine. Thank you, really.” “Well,” he says with a smirk, “in the event that you are lying to me simply to placate our earlier interaction, my shift ends in 15 minutes. I don’t suppose you’d be willing to stick around to chat with a perfect stranger?” Alex’s brain stutters for a moment at his facade being so transparent that it's all he can do to stutter out a “Yeah—um, yeah. Okay, sure.” Maybe he also gets stuck on the words perfect stranger, and the immediate thought of mmmm, perfect indeed that pops up in his brain as a result. He chooses to ignore that as well. - Or, Alex is feeling insecure after a bad date - Henry shows him that he doesn't have to be

September

All of This Silence and Patience (Pining and Anticipation) | T | 5.1k | One Shot

“I didn’t know that you were—” he cuts himself off, sliding a hand over his face. “I, um. Shit, sorry. I just meant, uh… Christ—” Alex saves Henry some breath by cutting him off. “Bi? Sure am.” “Since when?” Is Henry’s only response. Apparently, being in dangerously close proximity to pretty boys makes him a bit dim. Whatever. He’ll have time to reflect on this and feel utterly mortified later. Alex does the following in slow succession: smirks, cocks an eyebrow, looks Henry up and down once, and shrugs a shoulder. “I dunno. Suppose that’s a bit hard to pin down, sweetheart.” - Or, Alex (flirty) and Henry (flustered) are both hiding in a closet at a party for different reasons

Baby, You're Gonna Lose Your Own Game | E | 4k | One Shot

Alex thinks he understands why people get stupid, impulsive tattoos like their ex’s name now if the sudden urge to etch the word darling onto his hip in permanent ink is anything to go by. So, yeah, Alex supposes. Henry may still be maddening, but his mouth? His voice? Maybe it was always hot, actually, and the irritation he previously felt was just thinly veiled complete and utter attraction. That would check out. Hate has always been a multifaceted word, after all. - Or, Alex decides that he wants to fuck the British out of Henry while watching him speak at a gala

October

King of My Heart | E | 8.5k | One Shot

Alex, as always, is utterly captivating. He accepts his crown with grace and a crooked grin; it’s a duality that only he can pull off. Alex’s megawatt smile is brighter than the hundreds of multicolored shards of light reflecting off the mirrorball in the center of the room. Henry knows that Alex looks good on stage, he knows that Alex knows that he looks good on stage, and apparently, everyone else knows it as well. Henry thinks he sees a girl faint at the sight out of the corner of his eye. And yet, no one knows about Alex and him. Everyone in the crowd wants Alex, but it’s a losing battle — Henry already won that fight a couple of weeks ago. - Or, When Alex wins Prom King, Henry sneaks him away for a moment alone and realizes that his feelings may run deeper than their clandestine hookups suggest

Help Me Hold On to You | T | 3.2k | One Shot

“I can’t do this all the time, Alex,” Henry huffs out, arms crossed from the opposite end of the couch. “I’ve been more than happy to help, and I’ve been doing so as much as I can, but we need to talk about it. It’s been…a lot for me.” Too much. Henry doesn’t say it directly, but it’s the undercurrent of his words. Two words that Alex has heard many times in his life, over and over again until they became permanently pressed into his eyelids like a brand, reminding him of his state of being every time he so much as blinks. - Or, Henry isn't always able to give Alex the help he needs, which sends Alex into a spiral, but they'll always find a way to work things out together

November

Save a Horse, Ride a Princess | E | 8.6k | One Shot

“I have to say, this is all quite literal, don’t you think?” Alex wouldn’t know literal right now if it hit him in the head. “Huh?” Henry points at Alex: “Pillow Princess,” and then to himself: “Cowboy. Ready to ride and all that.” Alex nods dumbly. “Right.” - Or, Alex and Henry dress up as the ultimate couples costume for Halloween — themselves — and they both feel some kind of way about it

December

Gonna Give You Something (So You Know What’s on My Mind) | E | 11.3k | Two Shot

Alex hums, turning around to pull open the freezer drawer. “You want anything?” But Henry barely registers his question. Not when Alex is slightly bent over, allowing Henry a perfect view of his perfect ass. Each individual ridge of his spine is visible due to his lack of shirt. All of these things combined would normally be a large enough issue in itself to render Henry dumbstruck, except— Except, that’s not the only thing that Henry’s faced with. Right there, clear as day: blue lace, delicately peeking out from the waistband of his joggers. Henry’s hand immediately flies up to his cheek. The skin is hot to the touch, and he feels the imprint of where the material once lay like a brand. - Or, With the help of a white elephant gift, Henry learns that maybe the whole being-in-love-with-his-roommate thing isn’t as one-sided as he thought

Coming Soon

Double shot - my first ever multichap! :) Featuring sexting, falling in love in a coffee shop, and learning a lot about oneself - I'm incredibly excited for this one

Walk and Talk - a long one shot - College AU, irl epistolary, the literal act of walking and talking out of class and getting to know someone - this has been in the works for months

Henry is a painting (untitled) - Magical realism - Alex has a painting of a prince in his bedroom and one day it talks - a series of their conversations at night time in Alex's room, introspection, discussions of mental health, and falling in love

A secret birthday fic for @happiness-of-the-pursuit

A valentines day fic - Magical realism, Henry can see other people's future love lives and sets up shop on campus - Alex visits one day and Henry see's something he's never been able to see in his visions... himself

Coming... Eventually

Soulmate AU, beach at night, 5+1 love confession through non-verbal cues, companion fic to AOTSAP, and more

THANK U SO MUCH TO EVERYONE AGAIN. I genuinely couldn't do this without you. Fic and RWRB and all of y'all mean so fucking much to me. Thank you for an amazing year, and I'm so excited for what's to come

Tagging other ppl and literally anyone whose fics have ever inspired me bc y'all are so important - @kiwiana-writes @inexplicablymine @read-and-write- @clottedcreamfudge @everwitch-magiks @smc-27 @welcometololaland @whimsymanaged @tintagel-or-cockleshells @iboatedhere @indomitable-love @orchidscript @onward--upward @sparklepocalypse @dumbpeachjuice @dustratcentral @dustratcentral @firenati0n @gayrootvegetable @leaves-of-laurelin @lizzie-bennetdarcy @cultofsappho @cricketnationrise @nocoastposts @myheartalivewrites @matherines and @rmd-writes

[alyszaen]

I'm in a sappy mood so excuse me for this, but I need to get this out.

I know it hasn't been long since I've started becoming an active writer, but I just really need to tell you guys how much my moots mean to me. So I decided to tell everyone my favourite thing about you guys. Yes this will be cringy and sappy and lovey-dovey and you will enjoy every second of it.

Also no I didn't put y'all in a particular order here stfu I love all of you

@chiskz The way we vibe about our ideas is incredible. I don't think I've ever agreed with every single idea anyone has had the way I have with you. We just ping-pong our way into our scenarios and I wouldn't change a thing. Chichi is our real child which I will protect with my life. Earlier today I saw an encouraging message from you reminding me to breathe, because you knew I would have a rough day. I couldn't stop thinking about it all day, knowing there was someone there who cared enough to remind me of that.

@pettypuppy-jonghyun I have never been judged for being married to Han Jisung as I have by you. You are a menace to society. Actually evil for first spamming me with attractive pictures to make me thirsty, only to then make memes out of me being thirsty. Actually evil. The way you remember the little things, like Yoshi, makes me feel so warm inside. The voice messages you just sent to me were so perfectly cut towards me that just shows me how real you are and how much you care. Also your car rides are the most dramatic thing I ever got to experience. I know Hyunjin would be proud of you.

@longingpurity You immediately write every single little thing I request to make me feel better. The way you ask me for advice and trust me so much on it makes it feel so genuine. I love how easy it is to just write in capslock forever about the most mundane things with you. I see a message from you every single morning and it makes me smile so much to know there is someone thinking about me.

@wanna-live-yn-life I am actually offended at how funny you are. Our dms are always a pure comedy show and anyone reading them would be convinced that we are stupid and that you are obsessed with Enhypen. If there is anyone that can get me to start stanning Enhypen it is you. You're my child and I will protect you with my life. Funniest damn idiot honestly.

@minnnie-binnie Our conversations are 90% life updates because we cannot seem to be awake at the same time ever. You are actually such a chill person? Like, I just know whenever I see a message from you I will get the most calm and relaxed conversation about mundane things. It's worth a lot to be able to talk about small and basic things without it being awkward. Also if I ever need a boquet I'll remember to ask you for help.

@minvho Bro you sat through me singing half of Skz songs - and badly. I do not speak korean and I did my best to prove that to you. You are my biggest delulu supporter. You genuinely convinced me that I could pull Han Jisung and made me at least 40% more annoying about it. I shall wait for your karaoke. I know you will slay and I will laugh at you the entire time.

@sensitiveandhungry You are my No#1 source of fic recommendations. If I need anything new I just check what you reblogged today. Actual Queen of reblogging. With you I can fangirl about fangirling. Like? I know this sounds weird? But just being happy about being happy, you know?

@skz-jisoo My fellow german stay. You have no idea how many german skz tiktok links are coming your way. I still do not know how we share every single childhood experience, down to the danger noodles? I am almost convinced that we were in the same kindergarten at this point. There is no way it can be this similar fr. We are bonded by sneks.

Again you idiots there is no order to this, I know at least one of y'all fuckers thought so for a second. I will actually call pre-debut han on you if you doubt my love for you again.

[uceyjvcey-dynamite]

if you see this gorgeous man @szcyn today, i'mma need you to do two things, a'ight?

wish him a happy birthday.

donate to http://www.samiforsyria.com/

i better see all'a y'all's names comin' up on there later!

okay, i'm puttin' the sappy part down here. i ain't never written nothin' like this before, so i'm sorry if it ain't come out romantic how i want it to. tellin' you that i had feelings for you was the scariest thing i've ever done in my life 'cause no one ever made me feel this way before. but you... god, i fell so damn hard for you, baby. and i was so scared you was gon' call me crazy or say you ain't feel the same way, but obviously that didn't happen. bein' wit'chu over these past few months has been the best months of my life, same with the past year i spent wit'chu before we admitted anything. you are the most amazing man i've ever met. you are so beautiful, not just 'cause you the sexiest man i ever seen, but your heart so goddamn beautiful too. i mean, look at'chu. you got err'one donating to your charity. you HAVE a charity. you rescue cats. you treat err'one with love an' respect.

sometimes i think you too good to be true, y'know? not just for my boyfriend, but as a human being. sometimes i think you too good to be true as my boyfriend too, but you always remindin' me that that ain't the case and you don't know what that means to me. you made me feel safe in my own skin. i never even came out to no one before you, and now all our friends know we together, 'cause you made me that brave. you make me wanna be a better person every damn day. you make me laugh and smile all the time, you brighten up my life 'cause you genuinely like a ray of sunshine. i love you so much and i'm so glad we got this life together with our lil' demon baby. this gon' be the first birthday of many, MANY more that we celebrate together, baby. 😘❤

[phantoids]

okay it's an hour before the year ends time for the obligatory sappy post for y'all. so. this year's been a mess, kinda, but like. genuinely glad i chose to be here, even if shit's been fucked and dear god is it a hellscape, it's been the most fun i've had in a while. i've gotten into a zine and hopefully the next year brings that soon, i think you'll enjoy it, and i'm proud of it.

i'm also proud of all the writing i've done, finally having that bravery to step into making fics and stupid little stories and actual fan content. seeing everyone so unashamed to make it, all the people new to it like me? it was refreshing, and it was the push i needed.

and the people have been great, sometimes terrible, but mostly great in this unique corner of hell we've created and i'm once again glad to be here. you've helped me a lot, not just the community but the friends i've made here are people to cherish. maybe if i was sappier i'd tag em or some shit, but you guys know who you are anyways. keep up the good work, love you guys <3

happy new year and have a karkalicious 2009.

[woozi]

u know that one scene in past life destiny where woozi turns around and like all of seventeen is there to ask to be his partner? thats u (as woozi) (which is PERFECT w/ ur url omg that’s how u know it’s fate) & the rest of caratblr -car crash anon (side note: was originally going to drop an ask here just to be thankful for last gose’s dino hoshi woozi trio. somehow i rly love the energy of that combo!! but anyways I feel like that observation is less interesting than the above lol)

lich rally some querencia shit right there 😭😭😭

[stardustanddaffodils]

feelin really sappy tonight n before i hop off and get to bed, just wanted to say hi and ask y'all - how are you doing? really, genuinely? what's on your mind, where are you at right now, what's your body telling to you - do you need anything? just a quick little check in with yourself - what's going on? i hope you're well, i am making you a cup of warm tea that tastes bittersweet and smells like a memory

you're all loved, you know that? i really hope you do. someone, somewhere in this godforsaken universe, cares about you. yes, YOU. you. you're loved, by someone or something, and maybe you don't know it or the person and they don't know it or you but it's still there it's still there and i hope you all know that - it's there. that love, that love for you - it's there.

ready? i want you to take a nice deep breath with me, in....two....three, and then let it out....two....three - there we go :) give yourself a nice warm hug alright? have you eaten enough, had enough water, gotten enough sleep, taken a movement break recently? take a moment to listen to what your body is telling you and then give it what it needs - it deserves it, you deserve it

it's going to be okay, yeah? i promise, maybe it doesn't feel that way now, but it really is going to be alright. for now, we just gotta keep breathing through it, and i'm so proud of you for doing that for so long. one foot in front of the other, love, you've got this. and if you're doing well right now, i'm so happy for you. you deserve it, you deserve to feel nice and receive the goodness that you give. i hope the sun always shines on your face like a kiss and when the rain comes i hope it washes away the hurt when it leaves, i hope that we can dance in it together. it's going to be okay.

take a deep breath, love. breathe in....two....three, out....two....three. you've got this. and you're loved. and you deserve every good thing you have and every good thing you are denying yourself. remember that, yeah? and if you can't, i'm always here with a reminder

[soupbabe]

Fluffy Toshikazu Hazamada x Reader headcanons

For the 2 people in the world that simp for this feral bby (me included)

Uh yea he's definitely used Surface to pretend to make out with you before the relationship started

But other times he'd use his stand to practice a confession since he knows that he comes off as unsettling and it's even worse when he's nervous

When the time came, he was such a nervous babey

The irl version is way prettier than the one out of wood omg-

When you accepted him he was genuinely shocked.

"D-dammit! I knew they'd hate me this was such a bad ide-" "I like you too, Hazamada." "Wait w-wait huh!? This isn't a fucking joke right? Oh my god,,,:0 :D"

He gave you the biggest hug after that and immediately asked you if you wanted to hang out at the local book store after school.

He is very cautious when it comes to the relationship at first, he loves you a lot and he doesn't want to scare you off. He also tries to refrain from having that impulse to use his stand to control you to make the relationship go how he wants it. He's done his research, he wants you to be genuinely happy and in a healthy relationship.

He's so nervous when it comes to PDA. The most you'll get is hand holding and the occasional cheek kisses. If you're taller than him it's so cute seeing him having to go on his tippy toes, but you'd never openly admit that due to his {ever present} anger issues.

He gets flustered so easily since he's touched starved and not used to the affection you give him

Call him cute/sappy nicknames like baby, Toshi or Kazu, sweetheart, etc and he will MELT it makes him feel so happy

Sometimes Surface comes out and playing with it is your favorite thing omg

Sometimes you stick little post it notes with doodles of various expressions on it when it hasn't transformed to anyone.

Hazamada gets jealous of his own stand though because of its tendancey to belittle its own user, but you make sure to give as much comfort as he needs and reminds him that his stand is just an extended part of him and it's just more of him to love

Once you asked him if he can change Surface to look like him and you got so happy.

"Oh my god I can't believe it this just got better. Now that I have just not one handsome boyfriend, but T W O"

He only shows you off to only make Josuke jealous and to prove Rohan wrong that he is worthy of someone's attention and love.

You think it's mean for him to try to make Josuke feel bad that he's single, but you enjoy playing along so your boyf can feel proud of himself.

Oh he babbles all the time about you to Koichi! Whenever Koichi talked about Yukako to Hazamada, he did feel irritated and it felt like he was just rubbing it in that he's single, but now he completely understands why he does it.

Occasional double dates with Yukako and Koichi :))

If you're already into anime/manga, he's giving you all of his recommendations and enjoys comparing various characters/ships to you and him.

If you're not into anime/manga, he'll freak out a tad bit because how have you not been exposed to the "modern art and cinematic storytelling" of anime yet! Be prepared for sleepovers where he forces you to watch all of his favorite animes with him.

He doesn't go out much so a lot of dates are very similar to what I just now mentioned. You, him, a whole bunch of your favorite snacks, and his laptop running so you two can watch your favorite shows together <3

I can see him wanting to be the more dominant one in the Relationship, but damn it he just loves reveling in the feeling of being loves and your warmth when he's the little spoon when y'all cuddle.

His brain just short circuts because he's never had someone that made him feel like he's not just "that one creepy, weird, quiet kid" at school and actually feel confident in himself

Sometimes he likes to lay on top of you, arms just squeezing the life out of you, while he just talks about how much he loves you in between little kisses that go all around your face and neck. He's so soft for you.

[naturalogre]

Was debating if I should be sappy. Decided that yes, yes I should. So, happy New Year, first of all! ❤️

@malzenn and @chxngyunie

thank you guys for giving me such a warm welcome. Even though we haven't even known each other for a full year yet, I honestly feel like we've been friends forever 🥺❤️ I love you both very much, and good luck changing that 😂

@kingleedo

my lovely spouse ❤️ You're such a genuine and nice person, and I'm grateful for how willing you are to offer your help no matter what's up. The world needs more people like you, and I'm lucky to have found one (it u)

@trashlord-007

Tana, my beloved ;-;❤️ I was super intimidated by you at first lmao but I'm so glad I didn't let that keep me from getting to know you. I always have a good time with you, and even if you joke about not being it, you're incredibly supportive and caring

@sinpiesinpie

hi and welcome to the list 😂 Just like everybody I've already mentioned and will mention, you've been important in making 2021 a better year than it ever seemed like it would be. Thank you ❤️

@biaswreckingfics

Bribb 💞 I was also scared of you at first lol. But it turns out you're not scary at all and instead a really sweet and loving person. Also my ghoulmate, which adds all the bonus points 🦇

All of y'all make for probably the best friendgroup I've ever been a part of, and I consider myself really lucky that whatever string of coincidences allowed for us to meet. Lovie you all 💖

@limjaeseven @erotikkook and @aglassofpinkchampagne

you guys also deserve to be on this list of wonderful friends I've made during 2021. I feel like we have a really nice and chill space in the network, and it's been great fun sprinting and talking with you

@faithalenora

you get your own category because I want to emphasize how ASDF it makes me feel every time you tag me in something that made you think of me. It's really sweet, just like you ❤️

ANyway!! Thank you guys so much. Each one of you has been a vital part of making 2021 Not So Shitty™. I hope I've been able to provide that for you guys as well 💖

[thickness-protection-program]

It's New Year's so I'm gonna be sappy, I'm very happy that I started following you this year bc your posts always make me laugh even when I'm having a bad day and you're such a genuinely sweet person and I will forever think of you when I see anything meerkat related

I stg if y'all make me drunk cry I'm gonna start charging y'all 😭😭 thank you! Knowing I can make people teehee makes me feel tingly 🥰 and send me ALL the meerkat content !

[julia-highstorms]

Forgive (Bryce x Rei (F!MC))

Author’s note: This takes place in Book 3 Chapter 11, after that poke shop scene. I found Bryce's reaction to his mother too superficial, so here's my hope to add more depth to it.

Disclaimer: Characters and some dialogues belong to Pixelberry Studios, not me.

Rating: PG- 13

Pairing: Bryce x F!MC (Rei Sato) - Masterlist

Word count: +2.4K

___________________

"Hey, bro."

They all stopped eating momentarily to look up at the girl who had just come into the poke shop. She gave him a little wave, a smirk playing on her lips, and Bryce promptly leapt from his seat next to Rei's, and practically sprinted to where his sister was.

"Keiki! You made it!" - he grinned from ear to ear, enveloping her in a bear hug, lifting her off the ground. She hugged him back tightly, before noticing her brother's friends at the table. 

"Rei! Good to see you again. Keeping my brother out of trouble?"

Much more calm and collected than the scalpel jockey, Rei stood up and walked towards the Lahela siblings, smiling back at the teenage girl.

"You know that's not possible. But forget him, don't I get a hug?"

Keiki rolled her eyes, good humouredly.

"I suppose I can manage one for you."

The friendly squeeze she gave Rei was genuine and she smiled as the medical resident took a step back.

"Let me get a look at you. You're taller than me now!"

"Not that it's something too difficult to achieve." 

"Hey!" - Rei pouted to Bryce's comment, and he and his sister laughed. Not that he was wrong; it wasn't difficult to be taller than Rei, who was 5 feet 2 tall. Everyone else was taller than her.

...Well, everyone but Sienna.

"Anyway, it feels like forever since you went off to boarding school! But what are you doing in Hawaii?"

"We're on school break. Lucky for me, it overlapped with y'all being here, so Bryce and I figured we should at least meet up."

"I'm really glad you made it, sis. Here, let me get you--"

Bryce's voice suddenly died as a well-dressed woman walked into the poke shop, just behind Keiki. Rei knew right away who she was, based on the family resemblance. And on how Bryce tensed up, his smile instantly replaced by a blank face, his hands balling into fists.

She looked back straight to him, her dark brown eyes lighting up and then saddening, as her son turned his back to her. He leaned forward to talk to Keiki on an undertone.

"Keiki, what is she doing here?"

"I invited her." - the girl answered, without even blinking.

"Okay. Next question… what do you think you're doing, inviting her here?" - he asked through gritted teeth, his voice controlled.

The girl frowned.

"Like it or not, Bryce, she's the only mother we've got. Whatever she and Dad did, we can't exactly trade them in for different models."

"So… what, we're inviting them to poke and making up like everything's okay?" - the young surgeon clearly didn't have the same opinion as his little sister. - "They defrauded our friends and neighbors, Keiki. They took advantage of people who trusted them, just for money."

"Everything isn't okay… not yet. But they're making an effort. I know you don’t approve of it, but I’ve been talking to them since I went to boarding school. We're trying to repair our relationship. I just thought that… maybe it was time for you to do the same."

The surgical resident glanced at his mother, who was still patiently waiting in the doorway, wringing her hands nervously, avoiding his gaze. Rei saw his jaw clenching and his whole body hesitating, conflict flashing in his eyes. She put her hands on his arm, Bryce relaxing a little under her touch, and she gently pulled him away. 

"Bryce, you don't have to play nice. Your parents hurt you and Keiki. You get to be mad about that, and you don't have to hide it or apologize for it." 

A small smile tugged on the corner of his lips. 

"Thank you, Rei. I appreciate you having my back. But… I think Keiki might be right. At least about hearing her out. She brought Keiki all the way here and is paying for her tuition, after all."

Rei's dark eyes searched his, unspoken words passing through them, and he squeezed her hand before letting it go off his arm, and walked over to his mother.

The older woman immediately straightened up. Based on her expression, she was fully aware that her son was unhappy to see her, but to her credit, she faced him calmly.

Keiki stepped closer to Rei, a few feet away, watching as they both talked in low and hushed tones in a more secluded corner of the shop. The girl frowned.

"Do you think I did wrong by inviting her here, Rei?"

"Do you think you're wrong?" - Keiki shook her head. - "Then you didn't do anything wrong. You just did what you thought was right and the best for everyone."

Bryce glanced back at them, after something that their mother said, and Keiki nodded pleadingly. He sighed and listened to what the woman had to say.

"...Bryce might not agree with me, but I know he'll try to rebuild his relationship with Mom and Dad, just because I asked." - the teenager resumed talking. - "But I want him to do it - or not - for himself, not because he believes this is the best for me."

Rei smiled and patted her on her back. The Lahela siblings were so similar, both of them were only looking out for each other in the end, although they might have divergent opinions.

"I'll tell him this."

Keiki faced her, an inaudible 'thank you' leaving her lips.

"C'mere, Mom." - they both heard Bryce say, before pulling the middle-aged woman onto a stiff and very awkward hug, but she pulled him close nevertheless, burying her face in her son's shoulder.

After she had finally composed herself, they both parted.

"Mom… this doesn't mean we're okay. We have a lot of trust to rebuild. But… I guess this means I'm willing to try to do that." - he smiled, although Rei noticed that it didn't reach his eyes. 

Mrs. Lahela's eyes didn't seem to notice his lack of enthusiasm, as her eyes widened, welling up in tears, on the verge of becoming emotional again. Bryce glanced back to where Rei and Keiki were, an awkward and desperate look on his face, his body tense again, having no idea of what to do.

They both approached them.

"Hey, Bryce, is this your mom? I can see the resemblance." - Rei wore that smile she always used while attending her patients. - "It's lovely to meet you, Mrs. Lahela!"

The three Lahelas started in surprise for a quick moment, before Bryce immediately relaxed, giving her an immensely grateful look, his arms circling around her shoulders to bring her closer. His mother quickly composed herself and smiled back.

"Lovely to meet one of Bryce's friends! You're… Rei, am I right? I heard about you from Keiki." 

"Only good things, I hope!"

The girl smirked.

"Mostly."

"Here, Mom, why don't you take a seat… I'll get you and Keiki something to eat and introduce you to my friends." - Bryce said, feeling a lot more relaxed now that Rei was there, right next to him.

"I'm so glad you said that, because I seriously need some poke, stat." - her wry tone defused the tension, and everyone broke in laughter. 

Before Rei returned with them to their table, she felt Bryce's hand on her wrist, tugging her gently. 

"Thank you, Rei." - he thanked her, a genuine look on his face, and he quickly leaned down to peck her on her forehead. - "I owe you one. Can we talk later?"

"Sure." - she smiled softly at him, before leaving him to order his mother's and Keiki's orders.

By the time she had returned to their table, Keiki was already introducing each of their friends to Mrs. Lahela. They all greeted her with sympathetic smiles and mouths full of poke.

Jackie snooped closer. 

"Is the scalpel jockey okay?" - they both turned to glance at him, who was at the queue, looking just fine.

"I guess so. It could have gone much worse." - Rei turned to face her best friend. - "I'll talk to him later."

"Yeah, it's a good idea. Wouldn't want his trip to end on a bad note for him."

"I'm impressed that you're worried about him, Jackie." - Rei arched a brow, smirking jokingly, to which her roommate rolled her eyes.

"You never heard this from me, but he's a good friend."

"Hear what? I heard nothing." - Jackie grinned and they resumed eating.

___________________

The tension seemed to fade away throughout the meal, Keiki telling them all about boarding school, their friends adding their anecdotes about when they were in high school. At some point, Rei felt Bryce's strong arm circling around her waist, pulling her close, smiling softly at her, in which she comfortably leaned against his shoulder, both of them feeling peaceful by each other's presence. 

By the corner of her eye, Mrs. Lahela watched the sweet scene, a tinge of happiness and calmness spreading inside her as she finally saw her son's genuine smile for the first time in years. Based on what Keiki told her about Bryce's friends, Rei definitely was the closest one and, according to her daughter, she was his 'crush', although the woman wasn't sure what it meant. But looking at them now, she figured that the young doctor probably was her son's girlfriend.

"Man, after all this food I'll need to take a nap!" - Elijah said as Rafael pushed him out of the shop, all their friends following suit. 

"Me too." - Jackie stretched herself.

"Didn't you and Rei spend the whole morning taking a nap?"

"I'm on a vacation, Aurora, this is how I enjoy my time: sleeping."

"C'mon guys, we should all enjoy it to the very last before we're back to Boston tomorrow." - Raf chuckled.

"Ugh, why does the weekend have to end so fast?" - Sienna whined, making them all laugh.

Bryce turned to his sister.

"Great to see you again, sis. Tell me when it's your next school break and I'll take you to somewhere cool."

"Yeah, yeah, don't start going all sappy on me now." - she smiled back.

He visibly tensed as he turned to face his mother, who looked as nervous as him.

"So, huh. I'll call you to know when Keiki's back to school. You'll send her, right?"

"Yes. You can count on me, Bryce."

He gave her a stiff nod, not so sure if he could in fact count on her. But they would see.

"She's a good girl, you know." - Mrs. Lahela said, and his eyes followed hers, instantly settling on Rei a few feet away, with their friends, laughing at something that Jackie said. He couldn't help but smile, the tension in his heart easing a little just by the sight of her.

Bryce could have told his mother that Rei still was just a friend. But it just seemed so unnecessary, since a thought has been around his mind for a while now. 

He wanted to be more than just friends with her. And especially after today, he was more sure than ever about it.

The scalpel jockey had decided that he would finally tell her how he truly felt before they were back to Boston. It had to be tonight. 

"Yeah, she is." - he agreed in the end, smiling fondly.

After telling his goodbyes, the Lahelas parted their ways, Keiki with Mrs. Lahela. Bryce still looked a bit unsure of letting her go with their mother, but his sister seemed okay with it. He knew that, if something happened, she would tell him.

As he turned around to go back to the hotel with his friends, only Rei was still there waiting for him, the rest of the gang already feet away.

His hand fell comfortably on the small of her back and they started walking at a comfortable pace.

"How are you feeling?" 

He sighed. 

"I don't know. I definitely didn't expect that would happen."

"You mean seeing your mom or see her crying?"

"Both. But I guess what I was most impressed about is that she actually came and apologized to me and to Keiki, although she wasn't sure if I would forgive her. She told me that. But she did it anyway, because we deserved it, rather we forgave her or not."

"And have you forgiven her? Them?"

"Not yet. And to be honest, I don't know if I ever will. I've spent too many years away and doing fine without them, and I don't know if I'm ready to have them back to my life or ever wanting to. I said that I was willing to give it a try since Keiki asked me to consider it--"

"Your sister said that she wants you to rebuild your relationship with your parents for yourself, because you're willing to do it, not because she asked you to. She knows you, Bryce."

He nodded, before stopping walking and gazing at her. 

"Am I a terrible person for not wanting to forgive my parents?"

She took his bigger hands in hers, tracing circles on his skin with her thumbs. 

"Of course not. They hurt you and you have every right to feel this way."

"I just don't know how Keiki can forgive and thrust them so easily."

"You left your house almost ten years ago, Bryce. Even though she’d lived with you for the past year, she's spent most of her life with them. Maybe they had changed as time passed or maybe her experience with them had been different. And she isn't you, Bryce. She might see things differently. We don't know."

"Yeah, you're right. I'm just worried that she might forgive them, only for things to get awful again back at home. Although she's in boarding school now."

"If that happens, she'll tell you, Bryce. Remember how she went all the way from here to Boston to stay with you and you weren't even close? You're her safe place, now more than ever." - Rei smiled softly. - "She knows she has you."

He nodded, before grinning.

"And I have you. What would I do without you?"

"You'd do just fine." - she smirked. - "But yes, you have me. I'll always be here for you, Bryce." 

Rei saw a genuine, radiant smile spreading on his face, reaching his dark brown eyes, Bryce acting more like his old, both relaxed and confident self. He brushed her hair away, and her eyes flushed closed as she felt his lips on hers, soft and sweet. 

"Thank you, Rei." - he murmured, stroking her cheek. He smirked. - "Dammit, there's no way I can take you to my room for a quickie before Ines's wedding, is there?"

The diagnostics team's medical resident blushed slightly before they both shared a laughter as the hotel came into view, their hands entwined together. 

___________________

Tag: @nyastarlight @endlessflame @awkwardalbatros @choicesarehard @strangelycami @stillafictosexual @queen-kass-the-writer @indiacater @worldofchoices9-blog @radlovedreamer @fairydustandsarcasm @choicesthot @blackreddish @lilyofchoices @fluffywhitehair @weavingfractals @eileendannie @hellooliviaolivia  @lahelable  @bucket-harrington @god-save-the-keen @choices97  @allthatglitters2020 @thequeenofpixels @hellomynameisdevi @dreaming-of-movies @maria-lahela @zodiacsign1 @omgjasminesimone @miss-raleigh-carrera @lahellacute @brycesgirl  @raleighcarrera @simsvetements @wolverinesbeer @virtuallytakenby @anotherbeingsworld @teenytinytanya08 @srta-give-me-my-jax-rl @sitsoncornflake @jamesashtonisbae @lxdy-starfury @kelseaaa  @eleanorbloom @freckles-spangledvampire  @choicesficwriterscreations (if you would like to be tagged in (or out of!) upcoming Bryce x MC fanfics/fanarts, please let me know!)

[strawberrymilkgeorge]

ash!!! i can’t think of someone more deserving of TWO THOUSAND. you should be so proud of yourself, and even if you aren’t or you’re doubting yourself i’m proud enough to count as two people.

i cannot possibly thank you enough for the community you’ve created. without you, i wouldn’t have had the opportunity to overcome my social anxiety for once in my life and meet some of the greatest friends i could possibly ask for (and yes, that includes you!).

so much has changed for me in the past almost six months and, even though it gets pretty crazy in there (for example last night), you and the people i’ve met and connected with through your discord were always there for me whether it was to listen to me rant or just to make me laugh without knowing i needed it.

basically my whole point of this sappy mess is that i genuinely love you like the older sister i never had and you mean the world to me!! you deserve this incredible milestone and so much more!!! i’m proud of you now and always!!! 💞💞

libby T-T you're so sweet thank you so much !!! I am honored to be an older sister figure for you and I love ya like you're my little sister I never had <3 I'm so happy to have created a place for you to make so many good friends ??? wtf that's amazing?? and as insane as y'all get sometimes, it's nice having some sort of place to go to scream about streamers with :')

thank ya thank ya for the kind words libby <333 brb gonna go hide in a hole bc of the kindness /hj