#i know it's czech film

[broomcolate]

average Švankmajer family

[spoiledmilks]

When you can describe things well in english but not in your own language

[0rionz-belt]

The post got notes, here’s my freshly edited list of Iconic Movies I Need To Watch. No I don’t live under a rock I just didn’t like watching movies until I accidentally made being retro my whole personality.

Also just bc it’s further down the list doesn’t mean it’s less notable, there’s a bunch of gut punches there too.

[palacholic]

go check this out, it's amazing <3

I added some requested Czechoslovak films (with English and Czech subtitles) on my google drive!!! If you want, I can upload more of them.

♥

[doyoulikethissong-poll]

Rod Stewart - Da Ya Think I'm Sexy? 1978

"Da Ya Think I'm Sexy?" is a song by British singer Rod Stewart from his ninth studio album, Blondes Have More Fun (1978). It incorporates the melody from the song "Taj Mahal" by Jorge Ben Jor and the string arrangement from the song "(If You Want My Love) Put Something Down On It" by Bobby Womack. The song was released as the first single from Blondes Have More Fun in November 1978. It reached number one the UK Singles Chart and the US Billboard Hot 100. Billboard ranked it number four on its Top Singles of 1979 year-end chart. It also topped the charts in Canada and Australia. Royalties from the song were donated to the United Nations Children's Fund (UNICEF).

In 1997, the song was remixed by English electronic dance music group N-Trance for their second album, Happy Hour (1998). It was featured in the film A Night at the Roxbury the following year. This version became a hit in late 1997, topping both the New Zealand Singles Chart and the Czech Republic singles chart. Additionally, the song peaked at number seven on the UK Singles Chart and earning a double-platinum sales certification in Australia, where it charted at number three. In 2017, Rod Stewart released a remix version, which features a guest appearance from American band DNCE. They performed the song together at 2017 MTV Video Music Awards.

"Da Ya Think I'm Sexy?" received a total of 83,3% yes votes!

[60s-heartshaped-chevrolet]

January Watchlist: New Year, New Films 🎬✨

One of my New Year’s resolutions is to finally watch the films I’ve been putting off for ages. To keep myself on track, I’m starting a new habit—monthly watchlists!

Here’s what I plan to dive into this January.

First on my list is Black Narcissus (1947), a visually stunning drama about nuns grappling with desire and faith in a remote Himalayan convent. It’s been on my watchlist for years, and I have a feeling it’s going to be exactly my kind of film.

2. Next up is Córki Dancingu (2015), a surreal Polish musical/horror about mermaids and nightlife (perfect combination, i'm already encourage). It’s the chance to dive into cinema from my own country—which always seems to be either absolutely brilliant or a total disaster. English title: The Lure.

3. The third pick is Queen of the Lake (Jezerní královna, 1998). I have such a soft spot for Czech cinema, especially fairy tale adaptations, and the moment I saw stills from this film, it went on my list immediately. Magical vibes incoming! ✨🧚‍♀️

4. Next is Granddaughter of Ice (Ledyanaya vnuchka, 1980), a Soviet fairy tale that feels like the perfect winter watch. The frosty landscapes and enchanting atmosphere make it ideal for this time of year—cozy vibes guaranteed. ❄️✨

5. The Seventh Seal (Det sjunde inseglet, 1957). This Swedish classic by Ingmar Bergman is a profound exploration of life, death, and existential questions. It's been on my list forever, and I’m finally ready to experience its timeless depth. 🕊️

5. Häxan (1922), a silent Swedish-Danish documentary about witches and the occult. Oh god, it's a must-see for me, and I can’t wait to dive into its unsettling, avant-garde atmosphere. 🖤✨

6. Next, another Polish gem: Sanatorium pod Klepsydrą (1973). A surreal, dreamlike journey through Schulz’s world—just the kind of strange and thought-provoking film I’m craving. 🌙⌛English title: The Hourglass Sanatorium

7. Knowing me, I’ll probably watch a giallo as well, though I’m not sure which one yet. I feel like I’ve already seen most of the iconic ones, but there’s always something new to discover in that genre. 👁️‍🗨️🔪

By the end of the month, I’ll do a little recap of how many films I managed to watch. And if any of them end up inspiring me, you’ll definitely notice—expect a flood of favorite frames on both of my tumblrs, as always. 🎥✨

[neil-gaiman]

Hello Mr. Gaiman :)

I just wanted to ask whether you know the films "Angel of the Lord" and/or "Angel of the Lord 2" by Jiří Strach - they are Czech films about an angel and a demon and there are many parallels between them and the Good Omens series. So, if you do know them, did they inspire you in some aspects?

I wish you a very pleasant afternoon.

I don't know them. But I'll try and find them.

[sgiandubh]

(Perhaps) the right end of the stick?

Just before the sordid show of which I have been the unwilling subject, I have promised you my take on this whole Mexican charade and I intend to settle this once and for all.

In the meanwhile, I have been watching with a jubilatory smirk, from the side wings of the fandom, how the dots have been, as always, connected in the most mendacious possible way. And how rivers of pixels have ran amok with the utmost minutiae regarding that distillery trip to San Sebastián del Oeste.

For what is worth, everyone kept an eye exclusively on the Czech young woman, simply because that was the narrative to be sold to S's fandom. And what I believe is the wrong end of the stick, waterfall sound tidbit on top. But we know that, at least ever since that (in)famous 'Go, Sarah', right?

Despite my hinting in comments, almost nobody asked themselves anything of substance about The Fan, whose first selfie with S gave away the getaway (see what I just did here?).

This lady, to be more precise - forgive me, but I think you might not remember her, right?

Or should I rather say Dr. Sarah and Mrs Solange Neustadter, judging by her dual, and even manifold, online persona?

First, there was Dr. Sarah Neustadter, PhD, specialized in clinical and transpersonal psychology and author of Love You Like the Sky, a rather well received book on grief management and coping mechanisms, after someone's suicide:

[Source: https://sarahneustadter.com/about/]

Up until now, there is strictly nothing to write home about. Enter Mrs. Solange Neustadter, who is really Dr. Neustadter's version 2.0. With a slightly different profile, personal brand and short-term projects:

[Source: https://www.instagram.com/solange_neue/]

She is supposedly an OL/S fan, but how come there is zero OL-related content on her Instagram page? Not the slightest shred of an allusion, while we do have many references to travel (with Mexico a firm favorite), Anthony Bourdain, comparative mythology authors like Joseph Campbell and his Hero with a Thousand Faces (a great read I highly recommend, by the way), etc. And even her former boyfriend, that she unfortunately lost to suicide - hence the book, which I believe is a very good one.

Things become perhaps more interesting once we move to X, which proves that at some point, The Fan felt the need of a change in her own life:

[Source: https://x.com/SolangeNeue]

For some reason, I found this short comment tidbit quite interesting, especially considering her new, very recent Captain Solange personal brand:

But also a slowly emerging interest for Hollywood and its Tinseltown industry:

A screenwriter, absolutely. With a strong interest in learning how to become a professional and a romantic drama feature screenwriting project. As such, she took part to the Stowe Story Labs' Fifth Annual Sidewalk Narrative Lab, a workshop and networking-oriented side event of the Sidewalk Film Festival (Birmingham, Alabama), an indie oriented event which managed to attract Time Magazine's attention:

[Source: https://stowestorylabs.org/news/stowe-story-labs-announces-roster-for-fifth-annual-sidewalk-narrative-lab]

And now for her newest incarnation, Captain Solange, The (surprised?) Influencer. Not really successful, if compared with her ambitions, but hey, a girl can dream:

[Source: https://www.thehandbook.com/influencer/solange-neustadter/ - last updated on July 14th, 2023]

It is, of course, just a coincidence, that her new website has just been released after her Mexican trip:

[Source: https://www.solangeneue.com/]

Basically, yet another women-oriented empowerment and dating/ life coach service, with rather hefty price tags to boot:

Her six-weeks programme based in LAX promises her clients 'life changing tools', in order to 'make [them] feel outrageous and connected'. Also, this - for some reason, this caught my eye:

'Hot tips on where to meet great Angelenos' - here is where a bell does ring, indeed. I can't help but wonder if this very interesting person is on Raya, hmmm.

To cut the story short, I am honestly asking myself a couple of very simple questions:

What are the odds (and by this, I mean the organic odds) that a screenwriter-cum-influencer wannabe, who is in dire need of networking and/or some extra social media exposure, would spontaneously meet S in Nayarit, Jalisco, Mexico?

And what are the odds the above screenwriter-cum-influencer would post the selfie that relaunched some wild innuendo, in a very much overdriven fringe of a C-lister's fandom?

Come to think of it, this is a really, really small favor to ask of a friendly, but definitely transactional 'stranger'. And mutually beneficial, to say the least. Note she immediately knew what to do: after luring the iPhone Alarm Tumblr Brigade, she quickly deleted the tag on her post, along with all the nosy fan questions. Go figure, huh?

The rest of the story really did write itself. This is nothing we have not already seen. I could take bets, already, perhaps including what next week will bring us. Heh.

I am going to let you draw your own conclusions. I could be tragically wrong, in which case I am ready to acknowledge and recalibrate, as always. But let's also remember this simple cycle/pattern:

Instagram follow (mutual or not, it does not matter, at this point in time) -> Fan pic (usually a latergram) -> Instagram Story (now, with voices 🙄) -> Mutual/Collateral Instagram follow(s) -> even more innuendo -> if it does stick: double down, no matter how outrageously/if it does not stick, abort operation and leave in drawer, ready for future reactivation.

It never fails.

Aye, caramba! Exactly.

[apoloadonisandnarcissus]

Robert Eggers Count Orlok Backstory: An Overview

Robert Eggers doesn’t want us to know his Orlok’s backstory but I’m a Art History and Heritage researcher and I said challenge accepted. Who was Count Orlok before raising from the grave as a strigoi? And what clues do we have about 16th century Ellen?

[How much research into the period did you do when you were writing the script?] Massive amounts of research. There’s no way for me to fully invest in the world and be able to communicate it to an audience without understanding it to the fullest of my ability. So I did tons of research on my own, and that was put into the script, the dialogue and the style of the language. […] I like building worlds; I enjoy the act of doing it, and I like learning about other eras. I get enough of today today.”

Exclusive Interview: Robert Eggers Re-Visualizes A Classic Vampire in “Nosferatu”

Castle Orlok: all exterior scenes were filmed at Corvin Castle (Hunyadi Castle or Hunedoara Castle) in Romania. This architectural wonder was build Gothic-Renaissance aesthetic, and is one of the largest castles in Europe. The courtyard scenes were filmed inside the castle walls of Pernštejn Castle in the Czech Republic.

“And the overall look was to establish Orlok as a once-real person with a life, with money, with wealth, with entitlement, with attitude.”; “But with Orlok, Robert was always very, very clear that he is a Transylvanian Count from around 1580 […] at the time that Orlok would have been a young, vital, you know, “I’m a sexy, handsome, gorgeous, rich beyond belief man.” Linda Muir, costume designer; “How Robert Eggers Added Rockstar Mystique to “Nosferatu”; “Nosferatu - Interview with Costume Designer Linda Muir

Casting [Bill] Skarsgård as the hideously ancient, mustached, layered-with-prosthetics Count Orlok was about keeping the demon sexy. “It was important to have a young, beautiful person underneath that,” said Eggers, “maybe that’s a good thing for Lily-Rose [Depp] but there is something seductive in this powerful figure. Bill’s a good actor. But Orlok, before he was dead, was probably a handsome guy, a harsh face, but a beautiful face, too.”; “To have the attraction to this figure… I think he was probably a beautiful man at some point, but now he’s covered in maggots,” the director said. “That’s interesting to me.” ‘Nosferatu’: How to Make a Robert Eggers Movie, with Help from Mel Brooks and Chris Columbus; Nosferatu director needed Bill Skarsgård’s vampire to look like a creepy corpse

In my in-depth analysis of this topic on my blog, I mention this; I’m perfectly aware Robert Eggers said his Orlok was 55-years old at the time of his death, but, I’m taking that information with a grain of salt, actually. That was definitely his first idea back in 2016, but casting an actor in his 30s and the costume design tells me he changed his mind. He’s also being very secretive about his Orlok backstory, and he's very invested in historical accuracy. A 55-year old man in the 16th century wasn’t “young” in any way, shape or form. He would be an elderly man, living past European life expectancy rates (30-40s). Him having white hair in his current state isn’t an indication of his age, either, because decomposition removes pigment from hair.

This is most likely how Count Orlok would have looked like at the time of his death, when the dawn begins to remove the decay from him (symbolizing the curse of Nosferatu is being lifted).

With the analysis of Count Orlok’s iconography (sigil; coat of arms; appearance), historical context and set design (world building), the conclusion is that Robert Eggers really took “Renaissance man” to the next level with this character. Orlok being a “16th century warlord occultist” is a very simplistic way to put it. He was a sorcerer-warrior, a Solomonar enchanter, an alchemist, a occult scholar, and a count with feudal and military responsibilities.

Robert Eggers has revealed his Orlok is an old soul, predating the Roman Empire, he’s of Dacian origin (ancient people of nowadays Romania and parts of nearby countries); has known reincarnation throughout the centuries (at least two we know of: ancient times and 16th century);

He’s of Székely ethnicity (Hungarian), and his castle/county is located in the Eastern Carpathian Mountains. The independence of the Székelys lords was granted in exchange for military service to the Hungarian kings;

Somewhere in his life he studied at the Solomonărie school (germanization Scholomance), an underground school in the Carpathian Mountains, to become a Solomonar. Eggers is using a academic thesis which links the folkloric Solomonari with Zalmoxis cult. In this story, Orlok learned from a reincarnation of Zalmoxis the secrets of life and death, and immortality, alongside magic, mysteries of nature, the language of all living things, control the weather and “ride dragons” (Solomonari weathermaker or Dacian cloud traveler). As his final assignment to become a Solomonar he had to copy his entire knowledge into a “Solomonar book”, which would become the source of his power (the Solomonari codex of secrets we see in the film);

Why he became a Solomonar is one of two options; either he was attracted to them because of his Dacian origin (Zalmoxis was the main deity of the Dacians) or he was chosen (in some legends, a old Solomonar chooses boys to become Solomonari and be trained at the school);

His occult interests involved Solomonar-Zalmoxis cult, Sex Magick and Enochian magic (angels and daemons);

He lived during the Ottoman rule of the Balkans, and since Transylvanian nobility has led some rebellions against the Ottomans he probably was involved in some of these wars;

His historical Slavic hairstyle, might indicate some sort of affiliation between Orlok and the Ukrainian Cossacks. He might have made contact with them during war time, since they were involved in many conflicts against the Turkish and Tatar invaders in Moldavian territory (Eastern Carpathians), during the 16th and 17th centuries;

He was involved, in some way, in the religious turmoil of Protestants vs. Catholics in Transylvania in the late 16th century. Probably used a Protestant facade to practice his true “religion” (Paganism);

He was “demonized” as a “Devil worshipper” (unclear if during his lifetime or after his death);

Did he got caught up in the witchcraft accusations and executions paranoia in Transylvania in the 1580s? The rats symbolism might indicate he did;

Died somewhere in the 1580s or 1590s. Most likely cause of death was by suffocation; hanging, drowning or strangling.

In the script, we have two of Count Orlok’s contemporaries mentioned: Henry Cornelius Agrippa von Nettesheim (one of the most famous occultists in Europe in the 16th century) and Dr. John Dee (Enochian magic; the incantation Professor Von Franz performs to compel Ellen to speak, as he conjures both angels and demons). Both who got into legal trouble because of their occult pursuits. As did many figures across the 16th century; which saw the birth, imprisonment and execution of scientists, scholars and occultists who defied the supremacy of the Church.

The Countess: Orlok and His Wife

He was married and had a family; both present in the set design: multiple sarcophagi in the castle crypt and the bedroom he attacks Thomas (which he selected for him in advance).

What happened to Orlok’s family? His entire castle seems to be “frozen” in time. The furniture present all belongs to the Medieval period and early Modern era, which seems to indicate no “modern” occupation. While many noblemen kept family heirlooms, rich nobility families did “updated” their castle furnishings to symbolize wealth and social status. This castle is the center of a county, which is not only fully deserted by the 19th century (when Thomas gets there), but appears to have been for a very long, long time. Thomas did not hallucinate the furniture, which tells us the castle was left as it was since the late 16th century. Orlok’s family either died around the same time or pack up and left.

At the prologue (based on the novella Robert Eggers wrote about his characters backstories), we have sexual pleasure (masturbation), and Ellen and Orlok associated with a garden of lilacs. It was confirmed by Linda Muir, the costume designer, that lilacs remind Orlok of his human life, and also connect both these characters (visual storytelling). This establishes Orlok as symbolic of nature in Ellen’s character arc (while Thomas represents society). But we have Orlok’s top secret backstory inspiring the prologue; and they also symbolically return to their garden of lilacs at the end; which indicates Orlok and 16th century Ellen had a connection with a garden of lilacs somewhere, with implications of sexual encounters involved. Since 19th century Ellen swears herself to Orlok in this garden, maybe he proposed to her (marriage) in a similar setting in the 16th century, too?

Most 16th century nobility marriages were arranged, and made with the purpose of political alliances. A minority of noblemen did marry out of love, but this was extremely rare and not the common practice. Marriage was considered to be about companionship, but many arranged noble marriages eventually turned out to be successful and evolved into love. Either way, this last option was Orlok’s and 16th century Ellen’s case. Orlok will hold on to her heart-silver locket and treasure the lilac scent on it (Olfactory memory), in association to romantic and sexual memories (as he bitterly says to Thomas he’s fortunate in his love; and he asks Ellen to remember how they once were after she accused him of not being able to love).

Then we have Ellen mixing up her 16th century incarnation with her current 19th century one. She’s absolutely certain Orlok took her as his lover “then” (even though he was no more than a shadow at her window during her teenage years), including some sort of sex dreams (which Orlok, being a strigoi, could never compell her to have, he can only create nightmares, terror and fear in his victims). We also don’t know for how long have these dreams have been “plaguing” Ellen because the first time she actually saw Orlok (his physical appearance) was the night before this scene, at the Harding household.

Ellen labeling her and Orlok as “lovers” can indicate these two were romantically and sexually involved before any talk of marriage, in the 16th century. While this was highly scandalous and frowned upon throughout History, it wasn’t so rare as one might think. Many brides were already pregnant by the time of their weddings.

Then we have the "possession scene", where Orlok possesses Thomas when Ellen is starting to "remember", which gives us more clues to what sort of couple they were: "You could never please me as he could."

Then we also have the “public” and “getting caught” theme going on between these two. Ellen’s father caught her masturbating, and she has a “hysterical fit” in public after seeing Friedrich and Anna Harding (the mirror pair to Ellen and Orlok) displaying sexual desire in public (“Friedrich, in public?” / “I cannot resist you, my love”). During this scene Ellen has her hand on her hat mimicking Friedrich’s, and the pattern on Anna’s dress is also the same as Orlok’s mente cloak coat; to really drive home this connection.

Now, this will be wild speculation from my part, but since Robert Eggers did tons of historical research, I might have discovered his inspiration for these “public” or outdoors rendezvous, and it’s a 1545 court case in Transylvania; between a father who claimed a man sexually assaulted his daughter (pregnant out of wedlock); while the man claimed they were lovers for five years at that point; with several witnesses to this fact. From the woman’s part, after the graphic details of her sexual encounters with this man in a grain field (which also involved masturbation) were described to the jury, her only remark was that she did nothing wrong. From a historical perspective, these things are not easy to analyze and that’s the conclusion the author of the paper comes to, and I won’t waste time here explaining the complexities of this. If was truly a sexual assault case or if they were lovers and the father opposed to the union.

If Orlok and 16th century Ellen were going at it in a garden of lilacs, and someone saw them (like a servant, for instance), no one would say anything about it, even if they weren’t married. Which was apparently the case between the two “lovers” in the trial, until she became pregnant and the father took the case to court. It was unlikely a wealthy count would be taken to court for this kind of thing, especially if it happen during courtship/betrothal period. Either way, Orlok and 16th century Ellen got married, and within marriage every passion was allowed during this time period.

Some historical sex facts about the Renaissance (since this story is so rooted in sex and death):

While 19th century doctors believed women had no sexual desire whatsoever, in the 16th century women were seen as more sexual than men. This was also motivated by patriarchal views, of course, with women being seen as sexual wantons who exhausted their husbands with sexual activity (especially by the church);

While the 19th century declared war on “female sexual pleasure” and “passion” in general (viewing it as the opposite to “love”); in the early Modern era, midwives believed both male and female orgasms were necessary to produce a child;

The Protestant Reformation (16th century) brought some changes in how sex was perceived within marriage. While Catholics saw sex as a sin and a necessary evil to have children, Protestants saw marriage as salvation from sexual sin. The Reformation encouraged ideas of marital love, mutual pleasure and desire, and sex as an enhancement of marriage. Although moderation was still advised, and premarital sex was condemned, sex became a key element of the emerging “romantic love” concept, where marriage was based on romance rather than on family interests. This sex-positive attitude started to change during the 17th century;

Wild historical fact: anal sex was common between heterosexual married couples as a way to prevent unwanted pregnancies, and the Church even had to intervene to put a stop to this practice (especially in Catholic countries). Folk medicine (herbs, etc.) was also used to prevent pregnancies.

This cabinet saw things no cabinet should ever see, I bet.

“Memento mori” detail; who skull is this? This also gives me “Hamlet” vibes (Eggers�� father is a Shakespeare scholar and his “Northman” was loosely based on this play). Interestingly enough, we also got a father opposing Hamlet and Ophelia’s courtship.

From her part, 16th century Ellen could still be of "German" ancestry, since the Saxons were one of the main ethnic groups in Transylvania at the time. Which would mean she came from a Lutheran family; establishing another parallel with Anna Harding, who, according to Emma Corrin, comes from a conservative Lutheran background: “Yeah, mine [character novella] was detailed in a way that you weren’t ever going to use that information explicitly in the film. But they were just these sorts of amazing facts. I remember mine saying that she was Lutheran from a conservative household. And there was a whole bit about how Anna meets Friedrich at a ball, and how their eyes meet across the room to this particular piece of music. And Robert put a link to the song in there, and I listened to it a few times and that suggested quite a bit about, I guess, my characters sensibilities. But it was very detailed, and I think that was a nice little flourish.”

Female presence in Count Orlok’s castle:

Photo source: “Putting “authenticity into a legendary vampiric folktale” (SDSA - Set Decorators)

Four-poster canopy bed: this type of furniture was a favorite among European aristocracy in the 16th century, a symbol of wealth and status. Only the highest ranking members of a castle (the lord and the lady) had the luxury to retire to a bed behind curtains, while the staff (servants, knights, etc.) usually slept in common areas. Canopies were used to provide the lord and the lady with warmth during cold months and privacy, and because it was customary for one or two servants to sleep in the room with them. Drapes were rich, heavy and made from luxurious materials, like velvet or brocade. The canopy was often more elaborate and expensive that the wood bed itself. Bed were more than “places to sleep” during medieval and early modern age; marriages were consummated, children were born, postpartum mothers recovered and people die in bed.

Then we have this hand mirror ("looking glass"). Historically, mirrors have always been associated with women. From the 12th century forward, it was fashionable for respectful ladies to use small mirrors as jewelry, around their neck or waist. Which makes a connection to Ellen's heart-shaped silver locket from the 19th century.

During the early Modern era, mirrors were small in size (enough to reflect the owner's face), typically handheld, and portable and convenient for personal use. These mirrors were often encased in ornate and intricate carved frames (made of wood, metal, precious stone, etc.); these frames were meant to reflect the wealth and social status of the owner of the mirror.

Mirrors were essential grooming tools, to help with personal care before social interactions. Symbolically, mirrors were also connected with spiritual proprieties like divination and the supernatural, and were often used in religious ceremonies and rituals, as portals to communicate with the spiritual realm

Renaissance mirrors

This particular mirror is meant to be used in this setting (chambers), obviously. With this lighting is hard to make out the figures in the gold frame: it was two dragons on the top alongside what seems to be human-like figures, and some decorative flora around the frame.

That's seven years bad luck, mate.

19th century Ellen is associated with mirrors, as we see her standing in front of a mirror, twice:

What kind of couple?

The Protestant Reformation also changed as women were seen, socially: Luther primarily saw women as potential marriage mates and sexual partners, but Calvin defended that women could be indispensable companions and helpmates to the husband. Since 19th century Ellen doesn’t want to be trapped in the domestic sphere, and has a connection to nature, everything seems to suggest her 16th century incarnation shared the same views. Especially when we have “Wuthering Heights” by Emily Brontë as the main inspiration in this story, as Ellen’s 19th century childhood being so similar to Cathy’s.

Make no mistake, women in the Modern era still didn’t had the same rights as we do today, and their lives were controlled by patriarchal authorities (fathers and husbands) as they did in the 19th century. We do have several examples of women who were able to pursue their aspirations due to the support of their fathers and husbands (which they otherwise couldn’t). For his part, Orlok declares love/Thomas/Victorian society is inferior to Ellen because she’s an enchantress, and a medium (“not of human kind”). Him being a enchanter himself, indicates they most likely shared their occult pursuits.

Now I want to bring back the Dr. John Dee inspiration. He had a “work” partner for his spiritual endeavors, a medium called Edward Kelly. Together, they performed several conjuring sessions of angels, spirits and even demons, and developed the Enochian magic system and language (“language of angels”). They were both accused of being necromancers; dabbling in black magic to resurrect the dead.

Which is what we see Ellen doing at the prologue of the film. She also displays tremendous spiritual power, being able to conjure Orlok using words and sexual energy (her “hysteric fits”), while Herr Knock has to assemble an entire ritual room. Professor Von Franz also tells Ellen she could have been a great Pagan priestess, which indicates she probably was. If we go with the Enochian theme here; Orlok could have been a sort of Dr. John Dee, while 16th century Ellen was his Edward Kelly, the medium with the gift to actually communicate with the spiritual realm.

Since Orlok had military duties to fulfill, it was probably his wife who managed the county in his absence; which wasn’t uncommon during this time period. In Transylvania, women sometimes took possession of the family estate in the eventuality of their fathers and husbands’ deaths, too.

What’s the “dark trauma” between Orlok and 16th century Ellen?

I’ve analyzed that topic in other posts:

[hotvintagepoll]

Propaganda

Kim Novak (Vertigo, Bell, Book, and Candle)— She fought as much as she could to be able to preserve her own identity within the crushing hollywood system. She refused to change her czech last name and fought for a higher salary once she discovered her male counterparts were getting payed significantly more, which was an incredibly risky thing to do. She went through so much hollywood bs like she was forced to drop her affair with Sammy Davis jr. She played her iconic role in Vertigo thinking about her own oppressive and significant changes she had to undergo in order to fit in the tight hollywood mold which i think is partly why the movie is so beautiful and timeless. She is a gorgeous soul and a great artist.

Marlene Dietrich (Shanghai Express, Witness for the Prosecution, Morocco)—Bisexual icon, super hot when dressed both masculine and feminine, lived up her life in the queer Berlin scene of the 1920s, central to the 'sewing circle' of the secret sapphic actresses of Old Hollywood, refused lucrative offers by the Nazis and helped Jews and others under persecution to escape Nazi Germany, the love of my life

This is round 4 of the tournament. All other polls in this bracket can be found here. Please reblog with further support of your beloved hot sexy vintage woman.

[additional propaganda submitted under the cut.]

Kim Novak:

Marlene Dietrich:

ms dietrich....ms dietrich pls.....sit on my face

its marlene dietrich!!!! queer legend, easily the hottest person to ever wear a tuxedo, that hot hot voice, those glamorous glamorous movies…. most famously she starred in a string of movies directed by josef von sternberg throughout the 1930s, beginning with the blue angel which catapulted her to stardom in the role of the cabaret singer lola lola. known for his exquisite eye for lighting, texture, imagery, von sternberg devoted himself over the course of their collaborations to acquiring exceptional skill at photographing dietrich herself in particular, a worthy direction in which to expend effort im sure we can all agree. she collaborated with many other great directors of the era as well, including rouben mamoulian (song of songs), frank borzage (desire), ernst lubitsch (angel), fritz lang (rancho notorious), and billy wilder (witness for the prosecution). the encyclopedia britannica entry im looking at while compiling this propaganda describes her as having an “aura of sophistication and languid sexuality” which✔️💯. born marie magdalene dietrich, she combined her first and middle names to coin the moniker “marlene”. she was a trendsetter in her incorporation of trousers, suits, and menswear into her wardrobe and her androgynous allure was often remarked upon. critic kenneth tynan wrote, “She has sex, but no particular gender. She has the bearing of a man; the characters she plays love power and wear trousers. Her masculinity appeals to women and her sexuality to men.” in the 1920s she enjoyed the vibrant queer nightlife of weimar berlin, visiting gay bars and drag balls, and in hollywood her love affairs with men and women were an open secret. she was an ardent opponent of nazi germany, refusing lucrative contacts offered her to make films there, raising money with billy wilder to help jews and dissidents escape, and undertaking extensive USO tours to entertain soldiers with an act that included her a playing musical saw and doing a mindreading routine she learned from orson welles. starting in the 50s and continuing into the mid-70s she worked largely as a cabaret artist touring the world to large audiences, employing burt bacharach as her musical arranger.

First of all, there are those publicity photos of her in a tux. Second of all, I have never been the same since knowing that she sent copies of those photos to her Berlin lovers signed "Daddy Marlene." Not only is she hot in all circumstances, but she can do everything from earthy to ice queen. Also, she kept getting sexy romantic lead parts in Hollywood after the age of 40, which would be rare even now. She hated Nazis, loved her friends, and had a sapphic social circle in Hollywood. She also had cheekbones that could cut glass and a voice that could melt you.

Her GENDER her looks her voice her everything

“In her films and record-breaking cabaret performances, Miss Dietrich artfully projected cool sophistication, self-mockery and infinite experience. Her sexuality was audacious, her wit was insolent and her manner was ageless. With a world-weary charm and a diaphanous gown showing off her celebrated legs, she was the quintessential cabaret entertainer of Weimar-era Germany.”

The bar scene in Morocco awoke something in me and ultimately changed my gender

"Her manner, the critic Kenneth Tynan wrote, was that of ‘a serpentine lasso whereby her voice casually winds itself around our most vulnerable fantasies.’ Her friend Maurice Chevalier said: ‘Dietrich is something that never existed before and may never exist again.’”

"Songstress, photographer, fashion icon, out bisexual phenom (notoriously stole Lupe Velez and Joan Crawford's men, and Errol Flynn's wife, had a torrid affair with Greta Garbo that ended in a 60-year feud, other notable conquests including Erich Maria Remarque -yes, the guy who wrote All Quiet on the Western Front- Douglas Fairbanks Junior, Claudette Colbert, Mercedes de Acosta, Edith Piaf), anti-Nazi activist. Marlene was a bitch - she had an open marriage for decades and one of her favorite things was making catty commentary about her current lover with her husband, and her relationship with her daughter was painful- but she was also immensely talented, a hard worker, an opponent of fascism and the hottest ice queen in Hollywood for a long time."

"She can sing! She can act! She told the Nazis to fuck off and became a US citizen out of spite! She worked with other German exiles to create a fund to help Jews and German dissidents escape (she donated an entire movie salary, about $450k, to the cause). She looks REALLY GOOD in a suit. If you're not convinced, please listen to her sing "Lili Marlene". Absolutely gorgeous woman with a gorgeous voice."

Gifset link

"Bisexual icon and Nazi-hater. Looks absolutely stunning in the suits she liked to wear. 'I dress for the image. Not for myself, not for the public, not for fashion, not for men'."

"would you not let her walk on you?"

[hopekreymin]

Postal 2 Dude x Slavic s/o headcanons

I decided to write headcanons about what if Dude suddenly started dating a Slav. It seems to me that this gives rise to many interesting topics that can be thought about. Also dedicated to all Slavic fans of Postal, in particular fans of this ginger, schizo cockroach with an unstable psyche <3

I'm also Slavic myself, so I just wanted more representation or something, yeeaahhh.

• The first time you met, Dude couldn’t understand where you were from, although he could hear your accent. This intrigued him a little and he was already making his own guesses. When you told him that you were Slavic, he had a mixed reaction. At first it even seemed to you that he began to look at you with caution and suspicion. He probably even speculated about whether you were an undercover agent or not, but you didn’t want to believe that he could think that way about you. Because it's just silly. And although when you had already started a relationship, this thought still didn't leave you for some time. But you tried not to take it seriously, often joking that you would live with him for 30 years, only to later find out that you were simply gaining his trust and recruiting him all this time.

• There is clearly a language barrier between you two. Most of the time, Dude doesn't pay attention unless you're speaking your native language to someone else. Then he feels deprived and even somehow stupid for not understanding what you are saying. Sometimes he's sincerely surprised when he finds out how familiar to him words in your language sound completely different, or similar, but have a different or opposite meaning. Once you mentioned компот (compote) to him, and he first looked at you suspiciously and asked: “What cumpot?” Although most likely, he just wanted to play a silly joke on you.

• Be prepared for all Dude's stupid and awkward jokes about your country or language. He simply cannot keep his sharp, sassy tongue behind his teeth when he wants to joke. Most often, his jokes are based on the theme of the Soviet Union and stereotypes about your country or all Slavs in general. For some reason, in his brain there is still a fictitious fact that all Slavic countries are still closely connected and similar to each other, as if the USSR never collapsed. Of course, half of his knowledge about the Slavs is based on American films, where Slavic characters were often portrayed as the bad, cold and tough guys. Also, he cannot help but mention vodka to you at least once, although you may not drink it at all. And of course he thinks that it’s always cold in your country and that’s why its people are usually so unwelcoming.

• Dude's geographic knowledge leaves much to be desired, but simply put, he sucks at it. He probably wouldn’t even be able to find France, Sweden or New Zealand on the map on the second try, let alone Ukraine, the Czech Republic, Slovakia, Bulgaria, Serbia or Macedonia. He knows practically nothing about other Slavic countries that are not Russia, so it seems to him that they are all similar, like the languages. Although he has to admit that he likes your unusual accent, which is different from the southern American one he is more familiar with. Sometimes he has screw-ups and he can’t understand what you’re saying the first time, so he asks you to repeat it a couple more times and slowly, but this is just another of the many ways to tease you.

• If you want to teach Dude some words in your language, then it’s better to leave this idea because his silly ass doesn’t hear or learn at all! It's not that he doesn't respect your language and your desire to teach him something new, but he just doesn't think he can understand and remember anything. At first it was funny for him to repeat the words after you, but then he simply refused to do it and pouted gruffly. Maybe he’s just tired of it, or maybe he doesn’t want to seem stupid next to you?

• If you want to let him listen to music in your language or watch movies, then you can try, but Dude will often insert comments like “How funny that sounds” or “What does this mean? Can you actually translate everything into English for me?” This is sometimes tiring and annoying.

• When Dude somewhere notices some text in a language he doesn’t understand, he always asks you to translate it, as if you were some kind of philologist or teacher. Well, perhaps in his eyes it is so. True, there were several funny incidents.

“Sweetie, can you translate what is written here?”

“Dude... It's Portuguese. I don't know it.”

“Ah. Didn't notice.”

• Dude wouldn’t mind or even be happy if you cooked him dishes from the cuisine of your country. To be honest, man would be happy with any home-cooked food, since his diet of junk food, irregular meals and alcohol on an empty stomach clearly has a bad effect on him. His favorite dishes cooked by you? Probably borscht, dumplings, varenyky, cabbage rolls, potato pancakes, pierogi, shuba salad. He doesn't have the sweetest tooth, he likes salty, hot or smoked food more than sweet. But sometimes he still asks you to bake some cookies, pies, sweet rolls or make kissel. Once upon a time for Easter you baked a traditional Slavic sweet - paska. And Dude certainly liked it, although he is not the biggest fan of raisins. In general, he likes everything that you cook for him, because he doesn’t know how to cook himself, and you’re afraid to let him near the kitchen.

[hollandsfavbabe]

Peter's Precarious Polyjuice Potion - part 1

pairing: peter parker x stark!reader

synopsis: in which you and peter are forced to take extreme lengths to protect your secret relationship with the help of your shape shifting powers

warnings: a little suggestive language, lot's of fluff, lack of impulse control, extreme secrecy

word count: 5.7k

masterlist

a/n: Just a quick psa: this is the first of two parts! I tried to make it a one shot, but it was wayyy too long. There are some mentions of Harry Potter, obviously by the title, but no major spoilers and I want to make it very clear that I DO NOT support JK Rowling nor her transphobia. Trans women are women and trans men are men🏳‍⚧! That being said, I have another little surprise in the works that may have something to do with the wizarding world...

If you want to know what it is (and maybe get a sneak peak) comment your favorite character from the series and make a guess as to who you think mine might be. I'll reveal it with the next part of this series.

Thanks and enjoy!

Was there anything better than a chilly winter morning with the one you love most? Absolutely, a chilly winter morning with the one you love most and Harry Potter in the background. That’s all you could think of as your fuzzy sock clad feet padded across the campus floor. 

The festive season’s aroma invaded your senses as you managed to steal the first four films from your father’s extensive DVD collection without being caught, the cover of the first one glinting in the light that flooded in from the wall of windows encasing Avenger’s campus as you admired how young the cast used to look and made your way to your boyfriend’s bedroom.

Suddenly, the usual quiet of the campus in the early morning was disturbed by the sound of footsteps of another Avenger in the distant halls and using your powers you immediately concealed the DVDs into a stack of school notebooks and a folder of overflowing miscellaneous papers as a facade. It wasn’t unusual for you to use your gifts this way.

It was only five years prior during a mission in the Czech Republic that you were introduced to Peter Parker and while everyone had expected the two of you to get along as teens of the same age, no one knew just how close you and Peter really were. The rule had initially started at Stark Tower as a branch off of one of your father’s household rules: no dating superheroes. You thought he would be less strict as your life became centered around them, as did his, but you had no such luck. There was little chance Tony Stark would ever change the rules set for his little girl. So you were left to bend them instead.

While you and Peter seemed like close friends, you only started out as a platonic couple before your relationship escalated faster than either of you could’ve anticipated into something more fulfilling than you could’ve ever hoped for. Peter became your everything. Before you knew it, he was your rock. He was the first person you wanted to share a new dirty joke with or an unlocked childhood memory or even complain to when your father became too restricting. It was so much easier for the both of you to be together during high school. Being a college sophomore made your relationship much more complicated. Especially seeing as Peter stayed close to home at NYU and you left town to attend MIT (your father would never let you go anywhere else).

With campuses that were over a 4 hour drive away from each other, you and Peter only got the occasional three day weekend to spend with each other and that was only when you were able to evade spending time with your dad by making up an excuse as to why you couldn’t come home and held your ground until you had to eventually cave to his demands. The only time you and Peter really got together was during holiday breaks when you two could both be at the campus and sneak around like smitten teenagers all over again. With only three weeks, you were determined not to waste a single second with so little time, even if it meant using your shapeshifting ability to disguise wizard school movies as chemistry homework. What could be suspicious about two close friends sharing notes about stoichiometry?

You felt your heart start back up as Natasha passed you in the hallway instead of your father, shooting you a smile. 

“Morning, y/n.” she greeted pausing to look at your stack of folders with a look of confusion.

“Uhh, good morning.” you croaked, praying that there wasn’t some defect in your ability that allowed her to see a portion of the one of the movies you were disguising. Thankfully, your facade held.

“Homework? Really? This early on a saturday?”

You gulped as you nodded.

“You know me,” you forced a smile. “I’m actually on my way to wake Peter up so we can review together.”

“Good for you,” she nodded, impressed. “Breakfast should be in a couple hours if you two want a break. Try not to get bored!”

“Thanks?” You shrugged before continuing off to where you knew Peter’s room was, conveniently all the way on the other side of the building from your own. Soon enough you were at Peter’s door, turning the knob and entering without knocking, quick to shut it behind you to prevent anyone else from seeing how eager you were to ‘study.’ Surrounded by the comfortable closed walls of privacy, you let your platonic friend disguise fall and set the stack of papers on the edge of Peter’s bed.

Your boyfriend was still tucked beneath the covers, as was expected. You two had made your marathon plans ages ago and after losing several rounds of rock paper scissors, Peter’s room was made the place of the marathon meaning it was your job to wake him up. Overall you thought it best as you were more natural at lying (literally as you were aided by shape shifting powers) and a little more strategic when it came to social interaction and plotting.

You neared the stirring boy, his sleep disrupted by the clatter of the discs and the movement of his bed as you sat down to kiss him.

“Peterrr…” you whispered, hovering above him with an unshakable grin etched upon your face. “Wake up.”

You awoke him by placing a soft kiss on his nose and smiling down on him as he furrowed his eyebrows in aversion. It wasn’t until his eyes fluttered open that he grinned as he saw you and craned his head up to kiss you properly, his lips soft against yours, slipping a hand up from under the covers to cup your cheek.

“Morning.” he greeted, smiling affectionately as he sat up against the wall behind his pillow, pulling you into his lap so that he could kiss you once more. That was until he took a look at what you had brought, books and paper for studying. He cringed, pulling you closer and kicking up his covers in disgust.

“Oo no. I refuse to study on a Saturday. Can’t we save that for the last minute like every other time we’re together?” his lips turned into a sly grin as they neared yours once more.

You laughed as his complaint sparked many memories, most of you both tangled up together out of what started as procrastination, but ended up in unbridled desire that poured out after being built up each time you were away from one another for too long.

“Nice try, Parker. And here I thought we’d have a nice time today. Don’t you remember our plans?”

As you gesture to the folders and notebook on the edge of his bed they instantly shrunk back to their original form. All of a sudden, instead of the obnoxious red notes and blue folders filled with paperwork were the four DVDs with their easily recognizable covers that screamed nostalgia. Peter’s face lit up instantly, a mix of excitement and relief as his morning amnesia faded away. But even still, his seductive grin returned as he slid you further up his lap.

“We can’t start just a teeny bit later?” he teased, his fingers sending chills down your spine as they glided up the sides of your thighs. One of the downsides of how long you two had been together was that Peter knew exactly how to bend you to his will. “I think I’d rather spend our first morning together a little differently.”

He leaned in for another kiss, but instead of meeting your lips in the middle, his mouth was met with your finger as you pulled away and sat next to him, placing a chaste kiss on his cheek before shuffling into his comforter. It was by luck that your Stark genes made you extraordinarily stubborn and resistant to his persistence.

“Maybe later. Right now I am seriously craving a Hogwarts escape,” you lightly pushed Peter towards the DVDs, hinting that he would have to be the one to pop it into the reader. You teased him as he left his bed, grinning wickedly. “Besides, Harry’s wand is way bigger than yours.”

Peter’s head whipped around as the previews started to roll on the flat screen TV behind him that could be found in every resident room on the campus.

“Hey,” he pouted, though there was still enough of a smile left that you were sure he knew you were only kidding. He settled beside you, tucking an arm behind your head so you could rest on him as you normally did when you shared a room. “It’s hard to compete with 11 inches.”

After skipping through each advertisement for movies that had come out over a decade ago and finally selecting the play option on the movie menu, Peter planted a soft kiss on your forehead as the movie finally began and the familiar notes of the main theme played from the speakers.

“I think you should wake me up like this every morning.” he mumbled into your skin.

“I think that would be nice.” you agreed and nuzzled closer into him.

You two spent the entire first movie just like that, two nerds wrapped up in each other so close that you could hear each other's heartbeats, but so involved in the film that you didn’t get distracted by the distant pulsing of them.

“I think I'd make a great chaser.” you confessed during Harry’s first quidditch game.

“No, I think you’ve got it all wrong,” Peter argued. “I’d make a great chaser. You’d definitely be a beater. I mean legally hitting people off of flying brooms in a competitive wizard sport? If that isn’t right up your alley, I don’t know what is.”

“You’re right.” you agreed right before Harry crash landed into the sand, the golden snitch popping out of his mouth.

It was after the first movie that you started feeling peckish and by the way Peter squirmed to change positions every few seconds, you could tell he was feeling the same. Two hours awake without any food was an abnormal event for you and as a result your stomach was growling loudly. As you had other needs to attend to, you excused yourself and offered to grab the two of you something from the kitchen to snack on during the rest of your marathon.

“I’ll get it babe, you can stay in bed.” Peter offered, sitting up with you as you stood from his bed.

“That’s alright,” you assured him, handing him the disc to the second movie and the sleek black remote that controlled the monitor. “I’ve got to go to the bathroom so I’ll grab it on my way back.”

Peter laid back, his hands coming behind his head on the pillow as he eyed you on your way to the door. You smiled at him in confusion, wondering why he was admiring you so when all you were doing was fetching food.

“What?” you questioned, sliding on a sweatshirt over your pajamas.

“Sometimes I can’t believe we’re together,” he admitted. “You’re way too good for me.”

You giggled at his honesty as you moved towards the door.

“Are you still trying to sleep with me?” you teased.

“No,” he admitted, shaking his head adamantly. “...but I’m not opposed to the idea.”

You rolled your eyes playfully as you turned to leave, chuckling to yourself.

“I’ll be back soon. You can save the sweet talk for then.”

Though you couldn’t see his face, you could picture Peter’s smile as you shut the door behind you and meandered to the bathroom closest to the Avenger’s kitchen before starting towards the food.

As promised, the breakfast feast awaiting you smelled gloriously of hot buttered pancakes, sweet maple syrup, and so many other wonderful items. You prepared a lie to explain Peter’s absence as you entered the kitchen and grabbed a plate, when suddenly, the voice of your dad sounded from behind you.

“Ahh, y/n!” he startled you, causing you to drop your plate back on the stack of white porcelain where you had just barely plucked it from.

“Hi dad,” you forced a smile, turning to face him. “What’s going on?”

“I’ve been looking for you. C’mon, it’s family meeting time.” he stated casually. You realized then that the dining hall was eerily empty for a Saturday morning. The weekly buffet was normally packed with superheroes or at least a starving Thor. You furrowed your brows in confusion, never before having heard of any such meeting as you followed after your father.

“Family meeting? What about breakfast?”

“It can wait. I’ve got something we need to discuss.” you dad explained as he opened the tempered glass door to one of the many meeting rooms at the campus which was normally reserved for more professional causes.

“Okay. I’ll get Peter.” 

“No time, come with me. Peter’s not invited to this one.” your father informed you as he grabbed your arm, pulling you with him inside of the meeting room where every chair was already filled by various heroes who also resided at the campus. You gave a small wave to those who cared to acknowledge your arrival and wandered to stand in a corner at the back of the room while your father took up the front. From what you could tell, everyone else was as confused as you were. You pulled out your phone just before it commenced, giving you enough time to shoot Peter a quick text explaining your prolonged absence.

 I might be awhile

That’s fine. Take your time.

You fought the urge to smile at your boyfriend’s message as you slipped your phone into your pocket and looked up to your father who was commanding everyone’s attention.

“Thank you for coming, everyone. Really, I appreciate it.”

You recognize a feminine scoff from the right of the table, Natasha shaking her head, a fearful gesture from your main combat trainer. It was a general rule around the Campus, along with don’t introduce Steve Rodgers to ASMR: don’t get Natasha Romanoff angry unless you want to be dead.

“Cut the bullshit Tony. We’re all too tired and hungry to be here for longer than necessary. Get to the point. Why are we here?”

Others voiced their agreement and Tony put his hands up.

“Fine. I prepared a nice little welcome speech for you all, but I guess I’ll skip to my main point. You’re welcome by the way.”

Natasha rolled her eyes.

“The reason I’ve gathered you here today is to discuss a serious matter concerning one of our youngest recruits who I’ve purposefully made sure is not in attendance - ” he stated as he pressed one of the buttons on the controller to the meeting room monitor, the picture popping up on the screen of a face that was all too familiar to you with tousled brown hair and chocolate eyes. “- Mr. Peter Parker.”

Your heart stopped as you heard your boyfriend's name roll off your fathers lips. From a lifetime of knowing him you were sure whatever he wanted to discuss couldn’t be good. You tried your best to not look so shocked and managed to keep a neutral expression as you mirrored Bucky who did not care for the conversation whatsoever. In fact, his expression resembles that of someone who was desperate to deck someone.

“Ah yes! The Man of Spiders!” Thor called out, quite possibly the only Avenger who seemed to be not in the least bit irritated.

“Yep, that’s the one. Here’s the thing,” Tony began as you braced yourself. “It has been two years since he graduated high school. That means he’s had two whole years of college life to get out there and make some new connections, to be a kid! But instead he comes home late every night and is always so exhausted. He’s working way too hard. So I propose that we help our little spiderling find someone he can lean on and turn to. Someone who can really help him slow down and start to be himself. It’s time we help Peter get a girlfriend.”

Your eyes shot open as his words hit you, you had to force your hands to stay down and try not to react too much. You looked around at the reactions of the others, searching for someone who may agree with you, but much to your disappointment, no one seemed as against it as you were. It seemed the topic of helping Peter made the annoyance of the meeting more tolerable and many Avengers were nodding their heads in agreement. Thor especially as he hollered in his seat in clear support.

“Yes! Wonderful idea! A lady spider! Tis like those Midgardean movies that are so popular around this time of year! What do you call them? Wrong-Cons?”

Everyone looked around in confusion.

“Thor is referring to the movie genre of romantic comedies or rom-coms.” Vision explained. With the confusion cleared others started agreeing more.

“Yes, the boy needs a break,” Wanda concurred. “And I love a good rom-com.”

“He works too hard.” nodded Nat.

Others started muttering to their neighbors how they also agreed as you shook your head in utter disbelief.

You pushed off from your place on the wall, quickly gathering the attention of the others as you joined your dad at the front.

“Are you guys crazy?” you laughed nervously. “Peter doesn’t need a girlfriend! Yes, he can be hard on himself sometimes and I agree he needs a break, but that doesn’t mean you should try and shove something in his life that he has never shown any liking towards.” you explain, trying your best to sound as unsuspecting as possible. 

Here in the crowd of adults, you were only Peter’s best friend and you wished to keep them in the dark for as long as possible, especially considering your father forbid you from growing a closer connection to Peter.

To your surprise, another Avenger stood to back your point as the Winter Soldier himself took on the crowd.

“She’s got a point, Tony.” Bucky agreed.

“Yes! Thank you!” you smiled, gesturing at Bucky a little too excitedly.

“We shouldn’t force the boy into something if there’s no confirmation of his own interest,” the Winter Soldier restated, earning a nod of encouragement from you. “There’s probably a reason he hasn’t gotten a girlfriend and I think we should leave him to discover himself if you know what I mean.”

“No, no that’s not what I meant,” at once you started refuting his claim. “Peter’s not gay, he’s just not interested in dating.”

“So he’s asexual? Is that what it’s called nowadays?” Steve asked, his tiny notebook of modern definitions at the ready as he pulled a pen from the pocket of his flannel pajama bottoms. He too had only just woken up.

“No. I mean yes that is a real and valid sexual identity and some people don’t have a desire to be with someone romantically, but that’s not Peter. He’s interested, just not right now.”

“How can we trust that the Tiny Stark knows what she says of the Man of Spiders?” Thor quirked a brow at your claims. You nearly blew up at him as he asked, glaring at the rest of the room on the edge of insanity from the thought of them shipping off your boyfriend to be with another.

“I’m his best friend, okay?! And I know him better than any of you so I know for a fact that he doesn’t need a girlfriend right now!”

Your father grasped your shoulder gently, a weak attempt at calming you down.

“That was exactly my next point. You’re his best friend and you’re right. You know him way better than any of us.” your father agreed. You gave him a thankful smile, glad to finally have him on your side.

“Thanks, dad-”

“That’s exactly why you’ll be out intel and our connection to Peter in ‘Operation Pair Parker.’ That way he won’t suspect anything.” he interrupted with a proud expression.

You stared at him with wide eyes.

“You already named it!? You’re kidding right? You have to be kidding. You all know this is just unbelievably crazy right?” you asked the crowd.

“I don’t see a reason why not. It’ll be good for the kid to have someone.” Natasha disagreed and by the disapproving looks from the others, you could tell her opinion was shared by the majority.

“Exactly. See everyone gets it and we need you to carry it all out,” your father continued. “I already have a few people in mind that I can pair him with. The only reason to not to would be if you know something we don’t. Peter isn’t seeing anyone, right y/n?” your father eyed you, suspicious of your relentless attitude towards his thought out plan. You knew you couldn’t own up to it, the risk of discovery was much too great, but that didn’t mean there wasn’t anything you could do to shut down Operation Pair Parker.

“Well, I didn’t want to expose Peter since he’s only just barely told me-” you began, hardly believing the words were leaving your lips. “-but he has been seeing someone and I think it’s getting pretty serious.”

“Oh really? And who is this girl?” your father interrogated.

“Or boy.” Bucky added.

“It’s a girl,” you clarified, hurrying to think of exactly you could pin Peter’s secret relationship on without creating too much damage. “Her name is um, MJ!” you exclaimed as the name came to you. It was perfect too as she was one of your best friends and someone Peter could’ve easily hypothetically gotten with ages ago.

“You mean the overwhelmingly unenthusiastic girl that Peter has only ever talked about once?” You could tell by his raised eyebrow and narrowed eyes that Tony didn’t believe you, but there was still time to convince him. And you would do anything to end this scheme.

“Yep,” you gritted your teeth, letting out a fake laugh that you hoped sounded convincing enough. “That’s the one, good old MJ. You know what they say, opposites attract.”

Tony wasn’t fazed as the intensity of his suspecting expression lingered on.

“You sure he isn’t seeing someone he’s closer to? You’re not dating him right?” he questioned, reminding you of the age old rule. Under no circumstance were you and Peter allowed to see each other. No matter how many battles you had fought together nor how many times he had protected you from harm. Not even if the world was on the brink of collapse. Never.

“Yeah, you’re acting pretty suspicious.” Sam chimed in.

“Is something up, y/n?” wondered Nat.

You burst into nervous laughter as you thought of a plausible excuse and your web of lies deepened.

“Oh, you guys are too good. You’ve got me! I have been seeing someone.”

“I knew it! Lady Stark is with the Man of Spiders!” Thor pointed accusingly towards you.

“You did not know that.” argued Wanda as Thor had been the least suspecting of all the Avengers up until your false confession. It didn’t help that he was also the most gullible.

“No! No, no, not Peter,” you scoffed, choking out a laugh. “His name is um… Flash!”

Your face burned red as you realized who’s name had just slipped out of your mouth. Oh why hadn’t you said Ned? At least you actually enjoyed spending time with Ned. But as your father’s face shifted and your lie began to work, you knew it was too late to go back now.

“Flash? You mean that boy who’s been mean to you and Peter since you were kids?” your father knew exactly who he was through years of his name popping up in counseling sessions Tonty provided to help you figure out how to defend yourself in public without using your  powers.

“Yeah. He’s actually really nice once you get to know him and we’ve been together for a little while now.” you tried, changing your voice to match the same doting pitch it took on whenever you talked about Peter.

“Huh,” Tony pondered, but eventually shrugged the confession off as your lies snapped into place. He turned off Peter’s image on the monitor, leaving a blank black square in its place. “Well, in that case, the operation is off.”

“Alright, I guess that means I can go…” you smiled, ready to sneak off to finally grab some breakfast and more hidden moments with your real boyfriend.

“And date night is on!” Tony cheered unexpectedly.

Your eyes widened as your stomach dropped in realization of what you had just done. You and Peter were really in trouble now and it was all because you couldn’t admit the truth.

“Date night?” you repeated uneasily.

“To celebrate my children finding love, I want you both to invite your sweethearts over and we’ll have a big dinner so we can get to know them. Let Peter know he has to invite MJ.” specified your father which could only mean he expected you to invite Flash.

Oh shit. There was no getting out of it now.

“What a splendid idea.” deadpanned Vision who you could’ve sworn knew the truth about you and Peter as his room was next door. You almost glared at the android, but caught yourself.

“Yep, sure thing,” you grimaced, knowing that your lies would soon catch up to you. “And when is this whole thing supposed to be?” you asked, hoping it would be after the break so you and Peter could retreat to your separate schools instead of owning up. By then, you’d probably be able to come up with two break up stories so heart wrenching that the Avengers would understand why you would never want to date again.

“Let’s do tomorrow if we can. The sooner the better.” Tony proclaimed, pulling out his device from his pocket so that he could put the dinner into the following day’s agenda, scheduling it as a mandatory event.

You felt like you were gonna pass out.

“Great! I’ll just go tell Peter then. We’ll be ready!” you fake laughed as you walked off, truly dying inside as the crushing weight of what you had just done hit you.

Once you were out of sight of the Avengers (all of which started voting on what theme your dinner would be), you completely spaced picking up something to eat and sprinted down the hallway to Peter’s room. You stumbled in when you arrived, closing the door behind you and leaning on it, gasping for air from the rush.

“Hey baby,” Peter welcomed you back from his bed, lifting the remote to turn down the TV volume by a couple notches. “I hope you don’t mind, I started the second one, but we can totally rewind if you want…”

Confused by your lack of a reply, Peter looked at you and immediately sat up in bed, ignoring the film with a worry riddled face. The remote fell from his grasp and into the twisted sheets of his bed, never to be found again.

“Are you okay?”

You shook your head as you caught your breath, sliding down the door until you collapsed on the floor.

“No, Peter. Something terrible just happened and it’s all my fault.” you cried and curled to tuck your head into your lap. You weren’t quite to the point of tears, but it was enough distress to alert your boyfriend.

Peter sprung off his bed with a start, swinging his legs to the edge so that he could fully face you, but he was apprehensive about approaching your sullen form.

“Is it your period? Is that why you took so long? I knew I should have come to check on you…”

“No, I’m not on my period and I didn’t spend all that time in the bathroom. This is so much worse than that.” you lifted your head to speak so the words didn’t come out jumbled, but as soon as you had finished, your face returned to your lap.

Peter stood and neared you slowly, placing his hands on your forearms and squeezing you comfortingly as you lifted your head.

“I’m sure it can’t be that bad,” he assured you. “What is it?”

You inhaled deeply before rushing out a summary of the events that had taken place only moments before.

“Long story short, my dad was trying to hook you up with someone because he thinks you're so sad and lonely lately so I tried to get him off your back and now he thinks that you’re dating MJ and I’m dating Flash and we have to invite them to a big dinner with all the Avengers tomorrow.” you sputtered in one breath, gasping by the end.

“WHAT?!” 

“I KNOW!”

“How are we supposed to do that? I mean maybe MJ would agree if she were even in town… maybe, but we can’t invite Flash here!”

“I know!”

“Why didn’t you say Ned?!”

“I don’t know! That’s not the point, Peter. What I’m saying is that we need to come up with something fast.”

“I think we should just tell him.” Peter confessed, not one to share your disregard for the truth. Instead, he imagined a future where he could be more open with his teammates about the love you shared, maybe even rub it into Sam and Bucky’s faces as the three held a long standing rivalry since an opposing battle at a German airport. “Better fess up now.”

“NO! Peter, my dad will KILL US if he finds out we’re together!” you shut down his suggestion, too afraid of the consequences to even contemplate telling the truth. “We’ve got to come up with something better, I can’t let him win this.”

“Ugh, you Starks and your stubbornness.” Peter groaned. While he was well informed of your father’s rule, he didn’t understand why the two of you were so competitive, especially when it came to ethicality.

“I just wished there was a way we could pull it off without inviting either of them.” you pouted, staring off into the distance when the scene playing on the screen caught your eye.

The meeting had lasted so long that while you were gone, Peter had managed to watch up to Harry, Ron, and Hermione’s secret potion escapades in the abandoned girls’ bathroom.

“Add the hairs.” directed Hermione as the golden trio sprinkled the strands into their separate goblets of green sludge, so young in only the second film in the saga.

“You're right,” Peter sighed, his attention turning to the movie at the same time as you. “Things would be so much easier if we were wizards and could make Polyjuice Potion.”

Suddenly an idea popped into your head.

“Peter! That’s it! You’re a genius.” you exclaimed, pulling away from his hold and running across the room to his closet, flipping excitedly through his collection of colored flannels.

“Thanks,” Peter blushed, moving to sit on his bed once more. “Why exactly am I a genius this time?”

Your smile widened as you came upon it, Peter’s darkest flannel that distantly resembled something your dear friend MJ would wear. You pulled it on and discarded the hanger, throwing it haphazardly to another corner of the room as you looked at your boyfriend. You beamed at him as if you had just won the lottery. For a skilled liar, stringing together a new fake story was almost as accomplishing.

“Can I borrow this?” you asked.

“Of course,” Peter obliged. “You know how I feel about you wearing my clothes. Can I just ask why this in particular?”

“We can’t ask MJ or Flash to attend themselves so we’ll just have to become them instead!”

“What do you mean?” Peter asked.

You closed your eyes and concentrated, picturing MJ in your mind and spreading your arms out from your body as the familiar tingling sensation started and your body began to change from the will of your shape shifting powers. Before long, you began to resemble the quiet girl from your school. Your hair grew longer and curled into her familiar pattern as your jawline sharpened and your limbs lengthened until the girl standing in front of Peter was no longer his girlfriend, but the one and only Michelle Jones.

You opened your eyes that now resembled her dark brown ones and smiled at him, something MJ would never do. Peter’s own face lit up as he realized what you meant.

“That’s even better than Polyjuice Potion!” he grinned, watching you nod as you looked yourself top to bottom, satisfied with the extent of your abilities.

“I think we can make this work.” you stated, moving towards Peter who was gazing at you with admiration.

“You just need to master her facial expressions. MJ would never smile that much.”

You closed your eyes again and took a deep breath as you let your smile fade away to capture MJ’s unwavering neutrality.

“That’s perfect.” Peter complimented once you had mastered it. You chuckled out of pride as your usual smile carved back onto your face along with an affectionate look as you glanced at Peter. You leaned into him, lips at the ready to peck his perfect pretty face until you were stopped by his outstretched hands.

“What?” you questioned, unused to being denied by your boyfriend.

“As much as I would love to kiss you right now, you still look like one of our best friends.” Peter explained with reddened cheeks.

“Oh right.”

Quickly, you shook off your disguised form and shifted back into yourself. Wrapping your arms around his neck, you kissed Peter and allowed him to pull you in closer by your waist, his hand sneaking up to meet the skin under his flannel. It seemed at last he would get to have his own rendition of a perfect first morning with you.

After a few moments, he lifted away from your lips with a heavy breath to ask, “Does this mean I have to be Flash?”

You sent him a guilty smile.

“Sorry babe, but we’ve gotta do what we’ve gotta do.”

part two out now!

[korny713]

Jménem krále / In the Name of the King

Nevím, kolik z vás zná český film Jménem Krále, ale dneska jsme na to koukali po letech s našima a musím říct, že si připadám absolutně požehnána. Jako dítěti se mi to vždy líbilo, ovšem nic! Nic! Mě nemohlo připravit na tu přívalovou vlnu Hansry/JinJan/Jadřich energie, kterou v sobě skrýval.

Hlavní postava, Oldřich z Chlumu, tam má krásný proslov o tom, co to znamená být šlechtic a prostě AAAA. Pusťe si to. FR.

"Nepřemýšlej o štěstí. Urozenost je jako zbroj. Chrání. Dává pocit jistoty, ale zároveň omezuje. Dcera pána z Vartenberka se nemůže vdávat z lásky."

----------------------------------------------------------------------TRANSLATION:

There's this Czech movie from 2009 called In the Name of the King. It is set circa 1270 in the north Bohemia. Me and my parents watched it today, after like ten years, and Guys! I must tell you. I got blessed! I always liked it as a child, but since I did not remember much, I was shocked with the Hansry vibes it threw into my face.

Especially with this one beautiful line from Oldřich z Chlumu (the main character). He talks about, what it means to be noble and it's just... AAAA.

"Do not think about happiness. Nobility is like an armor. It protects. It gives a sense of security, but at the same time, it restricts. The daughter of the Lord of Vartenberk cannot marry for love."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

FUNFACT:

the story turns around two major houses. Wartemberks and Lords of Dubá

do the Lords of Dubá ring a bell for kcd?

yes they do (I wasn't sure at first, but then I saw the Crest)

the same crest Jan Ptáček aka Hans Capon wears

that's because he is from a cadet branch of the Lords of Dubá family

I'm not sure now and wouldn't want to lie so I'm not going to carry on on how exactly they are related. (As far as I can tell, Capon's mother was Hedvika from Dubá but that's it. That's all I know.) I don't know if there is some long and twisted branch connecting Capon's directly to "Ronovci".

I'll leave that to the experts (if they'll want it)

[iwtv-az-hours]

So I've been to Matěj Metoděj Štrunc’s show on 21. March 2025 and I ended up having a nice lenghty chat with him backstage!

We've been discussing his music, but also his other work and iwtv.

I'll pick some tidbits y'all might find relevant (such as Merde'em's backstory, his s2 filming impressions, some info on his projects with Assad, etc.) ⬇️

Gotta start by saying his music is amazing (you should check him out!), really a musician's musician. I had such a blast at the concert! All the musicians are ridiculously talented, and they were also all darlings off stage. Much respect for Matěj's work + he's really sweet and lovely to talk to

On work with Assad

Okay, if you're only here for this, here's separate posts about the New music video, news on The Fox and the Grapes, and some extra bits about Assad and his work.

Read further for more general vampire shananigans!

Season 2 filming

Matěj laughed that The One resounding memory about the shoot were the contact lenses and what a pain they were.

4 days a week they‘d arrive at 5, at 7 the contacts would go in and they stayed in for a 10+ hour shoot.

A few hours in, they had to have a lady running around dripping artificial tears into everyone’s eyes!

And because the contacts were coloured, he often found it difficult to see anything at all through them.

He actually intended to read the IWTV book on set, but found out he can’t – he couldn’t see the pages properly!

Merde’em ’s backstory

I hope I recalled it correctly 😭

He’s the youngest of the musician vampires - oldest Basilic (from og coven) was tasked with recruiting a band for the Théâtre. 1st to be turned was Planche, then Merde’em.

He used to be an army musician. The vampires heard him play and liked it, so they caught him one night drunk on his way from a pub. They gave him a choice to join the Théâtre as a vamp and he agreed.

They also had roles – Basilic would be the band leader, Merde’em wrote all the music, and Planche... Planche played drums.

Matěj said he couldn't properly recall the backstories of other TdV vamps - each actor received an email with their short backstory, but only their own!

He enthusiastically said how „really all the actors on the set were so great, and they were all friendly and got along very well.“

I basically told him I’d be excited to hear anything about the characters that didn’t get a chance to shine through – cause they spent months living with these roles and what ends up on the show is a few glances. He immediatelly agreed that that’s what it’s like from their perspective as actors too, they put a lot of work into it, but never know which little bits the audience actually end up seeing.

He looked very happy and willing to talk about the filming and the character, but struggled to think of what more he could tell me, that there isn‘t much 😁

Small disclaimer

This conversation took place in Czech, I'm translating it to EN. Band was dismanteling instruments nearby, so here-and-there it was hard to hear one another. Trying my best here to summarize what I heard, but there might be little details I got slightly wrong. Also, obvsly I'm leaving some bits out, either cause they're not really iwtv related, or I'm trying to be respectful with what was shared with me.

To sum up

Three separate band members approached me to compliment my boots, 10/10 stellar evening, would do again!

And honestly, I can't wait for more Lidověk shows and the new album!

(post also on X, bsky)

[doyoulikethissong-poll]

Mr. President - Coco Jamboo 1996

"Coco Jamboo" is a song by German Eurodance group Mr. President, and was released as the lead single from their second studio album, We See the Same Sun (1996). The accompanying music video was filmed in Carúpano, a small city located in the Venezuelan coasts. Mr. President was awarded the German 1997 Echo award in the category for Best Dance Single with "Coco Jamboo".

"Coco Jamboo" peaked at number one in Austria, Czech Republic, Hungary, Sweden, and Switzerland. It was also a top-five hit in Denmark, Finland, Germany, Ireland, the Netherlands, and Norway, as well as on the Eurochart Hot 100. In the UK, it peaked at number eight. It was successful in both Australia and New Zealand, where it reached number seven and nine. On the US Billboard Hot 100, it peaked at number 21, becoming the band's only charting single. On the Billboard Dance Club Play chart, it reached number 17. The single was awarded with a gold record in Austria, New Zealand, Sweden, and Switzerland. It also earned a silver record in the UK and a platinum record in Australia, Germany, and Norway.

"Coco Jamboo" received a total of 74,6% yes votes!

[gunsandspaceships]

RDJ is 40% Russian?

From The Age of A.I. series:

It says "40% Russian". Is this true though?

I don't think so. From the show Finding Your Roots we know that he is 20.11% Lithuanian Jewish (on his father's side) and 79.89% European (Central and Western). Not Russian.

Lithuania was part of the Russian Empire at that time (19th century). I know that people in Western countries usually call everyone from the former USSR "Russians", although this is not correct.

In Finding Your Roots, we also learn some details about Robert's oldest known (at the time the episode was filmed) ancestors: Swiss and German on his mother's side and Jewish on his father's side.

If we dig deeper into his family tree on Geni (it's HUGE), we do indeed find Russia. 300 years ago, some German, Hungarian, and Czech Jews came to Russia after Russian Emperor Peter the Great decided to make some major changes to the country and call in European experts to help remake it to his liking. But they weren't Russian, and they didn't stay for long.

If we dig even deeper, we will even find the first dynasty of Russian rulers - the Rurik dynasty. If the information on Geni is correct, then the line from Rurik to Yaroslav the Wise are his ancestors. The difficult question is whether we can call them Russian, since 1) it was not Russia yet; 2) the line came from Sweden. And if we do, then there will be only a tiny part of "Russian" blood in him. Certainly not 40%.

Other inaccuracies from The Age of A.I.