#i know it's an idiom but it's a very funny exchange

[waitineedaname]

every now and then i remember "yes you're the roundworm in my stomach" "I don't want to be a roundworm :(" why are bingqiu so weird <3

[piracytheorist]

SxF episode 20 German dub

See what I mean? Instead of writing I go back and watch stuff I've already watched - but but it's in a different language see? Oh well XD

When the Shopkeeper called during Yor's imaginative scenario, she said "Speak of the devil, and he will call." The actual idiom in English ends with "and he doth appear" (no I didn't know that I googled it just now), so now I wonder what the German version of the idiom ends like. A quick search didn't give anything and I'm too bored to search further XD

When Loid talked about how the white robe makes him look more professional, he added a "Don't you think?" at the end. This was cute, how he included Anya in the exchange :D

One of the funniest things about this dub is noticing Anya's language mistakes. She says "Schankedöhn" instead of "Dankeschön" (thank you very much) pretty much every time, and here she said "lennenzukernen" instead of "kennenzulernen" (get to know).

And this reminds me that I wonder, whether young kids make similar mistakes in their native language that people who learn that same language as a foreign one do. Like, the main mistakes I do in German grammar is a) not being sure when to use Akkusativ vs Dativ (like I understand the concept cause we have similar cases in Greek, but I often I forget what case each verb and preposition uses), b) using "haben" instead of "sein" for certain verbs in Perfekt, c) confusing "Ich werde" with "Ich wird" and vice versa, and a common mistake I would see in my fellow classmates was that they were forgetting to put the verb at the end of secondary clauses. Oh, and verbs with prepositions. Some I remember but most of them I'll just never manage to learn what preposition they take and whether Akkusativ or Dativ follows. I reached my foreign language quota at English and with German I've just been... struggling XD

Anya wrote how Loid's work is a paradise and Loid said, "I'm happy to hear that" with full irony on his voice and face.

Why do I find this so funny it shouldn't be funny asddgfdhgd curse you spy x family!! SADSFhdgfjfhdgfd

Anya called the consultation room "boring" because it was not like the operating rooms. Then she asked about the brain modification machine and Loid said "I have the feeling that you haven't understood the profession fully". Then when he wondered where she's getting all those ideas from, he thought he should reduce the time she spends on TV. And look... you won't find me disagreeing with this lmao.

Fiona told him "You and Anya seem to understand each other well" and he responded with "She causes me more work than expected." Fiona also used informal "you" with him. I wonder if in the next episode she'll use formal "you" when in front of Yor.

When Anya was in the vents being all SUS and her foot got free from the pipe, she said "Saved! Back to the base!"

I'm not sure about this one, but when Loid saw the mess Anya made with the sandbox, I think he said "What demon possessed you?!"

When Yor told Anya about Loid's "concussive therapy", Anya responded with "Violence at the workplace." LMAO

I wanted to add this screenshot for the end; when Anya gave her "secret code" to Damian she said "A secret code. Are you smart enough?" I love it when she's all sassy like that XD

[ghooostbaby]

The take that Hua Cheng's displeasure with Feng Xin and Mu Qing is an example of Hua Cheng abusively trying to stop Xie Lian from having friends is baffling

Xie Lian is not friends with Feng Xin and Mu Qing as things start off in book one. I would say the novel is their journey back to being friends, and at the very end is when their friendship begins again after working out all their baggage... Xie Lian hasn't seen them in 800 years after pushing out / being pushed out of their lives under terrible circumstances. When he returns to heaven, they have an awkward/tense exchange but never come together, until Xie Lian is under house arrest. Mu Qing is presented as being openly malicious, while Feng Xin seems to nervously keep his distance but does want to help Xie Lian when he's in trouble. And then they appear by his side on missions but only in disguise and pretending not to be themselves, that they don't personally know him, and Xie Lian plays along.

Hua Cheng wants to harm anyone who hurts Xie Lian, not prevent him from having friends. (Also let's just accept that this is a story about ghost kings and immortal gods who have magical battles to the death not a morality tale about reasonable boyfriend behavior - Hua Cheng is allowed to wreak havoc and have mortal enemies and take revenge without being "sooo toxic".) Its clear that what he wants is to protect and defend Xie Lian, and when he challenged 35 gods who disrespected Xie Lian during his banishment, Mu Qing and Feng Xin were included in that. They clearly have their own complicated feelings about leaving Xie Lian back then, and Hua Cheng's take is, yup, they abandoned him, they are trash. Hua Cheng seems downright civil with Shi Qingxuan or Pei Ming on the other hand, who never wronged Xie Lian in his eyes. These hostile actions are reserved only for people who treat Xie Lian with disrespect.

Hua Cheng never stops them from being friends, he is just mean and bitchy in their vicinity. Who's saying he won't let Xie Lian hang out with those two? Hua Cheng never tries to take Xie Lian away from any of the heavenly officials, only when its the cataclysmic and dangerous moment of Black Water's revenge does he drag Xie Lian out, and even then he was riding along in a very awkward position for himself for a long time before doing that - and, AND! when he does he seems kind of miserable about having to hold Xie Lian back. Mount Tong'lu throwing-them-in-a-pit-and-tying-them-up-with-silk seems like he was just trying to detain them and not for reasons of trying to isolate Xie Lian but because they were at the doorway for his old studio where he'd spent some tortuous years obsessively painting cringe self insert porn SO GIVE HIM A BREAK. Otherwise, he simply wants to be allowed to tag along with Xie Lian wherever he's going and simply does not hide his contempt for the heavenly officials that he knows to have treated Xie Lian with disrespect, or are corrupt and hypocritical. He also has a general moral position against the gods that they are mostly ALL corrupt and hypocritical, and this is the opinion he expresses, which Xie Lian does not seem to disagree with. Meanwhile, he still helps out on most of Xie Lian's missions to protect or investigate these gods, although more just to keep Xie Lian from being harmed while allowing Xie Lian to do what he wants. This is important!!! The thing Hua Cheng wants most is allowing Xie Lian to freely do what he wants, whatever he wants.

Xie Lian thinks how Hua Cheng is with Feng Xin and Mu Qing is funny. He laughs at the way Hua Cheng is a little bitch at them when they're on their way to Banyue kingdom. He's not upset. He doesn't feel like Hua Cheng is obstructing their beautiful friendship from flourishing. He is always a little exasperated by them, he always has been it seems (re: the idiom trains he makes them do when their arguing is annoying him), he did also love them, but now with all the centuries of baggage things just aren't fully comfortable between all of them. When Jun Wu asks him who he'd like to do his next mission with after he'd down the last one with Fu Yao and Nan Feng and Xie Lian basically says, anyone enjoyable to be around, Jun Wu understands that to mean not those two again. lollll

Xie Lian sees Hua Cheng as the first person he's been able to be close with in a long time and genuinely enjoys all his time with him, and Feng Xin and Mu Qing do literally try to stop Xie Lian from being friends with him. But yeah, probably the centuries of getting into fights with Crimson Rain made them wary and then the porn painting but for the people holding this weird hua-cheng-is-trying-to-isolate-xie-lian line they completely ignore that Feng Xin and Mu Qing do this. And in the cave of a thousand gods that Xie Lian is more than capable of expressing his wishes and fighting literally to be able to hang out with whoever he wants - he fights Feng Xin and Mu Qing to be with Hua Cheng. And feng xin and mu qing are both fighting the other whether they really care about xie lian or should be around xie lian too! Through all this Xie Lian is able to hold the dissonance of finding his two old friends utterly annoying, understanding why his new "friend" wants to murder them, understanding why his two old friends want to murder this ghost king, and defending Hua Cheng from them at the same time as he tries to help them.

[silentprincess0302]

I’ve watched I Told Sunset About You at least 5 times in a row now, but I apparently have no one to rant to and I NEED to rant so bear with me.

First of all can we just appreciate how beautiful the story is? The way it’s portrayed, the way they talk, the location, songs, idk everything is just so poetic. I love how some scenes didn’t need words, and you’d understand it anyway. I love how there are no actual bad guys. The ones they are fighting with are themselves. And everyone has a personality. There’s a story in each and every one of those beautiful, well-written and portrayed characters. I’ll rant about how the story amazes me another time, I just need to focus on the two- Teh and Oh-Aew.

1. Teh

He’s an enigma. Like there’s so much going on with him and sometimes (or most of the times), he doesn’t even understand himself. And there’s so much added to his inner turmoil and identity that just makes me want to try and piece the puzzle but at the same time smother him with a pillow and blanket and yell “PLEASE REST AND BE HAPPY.”

First of all, his family. God, I can’t even start to say how much I relate to him with this. Being compared to hurts like hell. It’s like every thing you do, every step you take, you’d think “Would this be approved? Is this right? Or is this wrong and I’ll be compared again? Will they be proud of me? Will I ever be number 1?” You seek approval for your whole life. First your family, and it will branch out to your whole life. It’s haunting. He solidified his dream to become an actor because his mom was, for once, seemed so proud and excited at the prospect (I’m sure she is proud of him, it’s just that SHOWING it is another story).

And then there’s Oh-Aew. God. The person who shook his entire world. His entire being. If I’m to use Twighlight terms, I’d say he really imprinted on Oh-Aew, and it’s not hard to not see it. There’s a few posts talking about it on Tumblr, and I absolutely agree with them. It’s like, Oh-Aew is really the centre of his world (whether he realises it or not). I know they were kids when they fought, but that person has to be super important to you if it affects you that deeply. They say there’s a thin line between love and hate, and I think this is a good example of it. And to have a strong rivalry meant the love was strong as well- to be able to cross the line.

But “enemies” might be too strong of a word as well. It’s kind of funny, how Teh acts a bit tough and kind of picks a fight with Oh-Aew when what he did the moment he saw Oh-Aew was staring at him again and again. And it’s not even the hate kind of stare. Fascination? Wonder? Curiosity? Longing? Yeah, he talks big with Tarn about their “animosity ” but is it really animosity when he keeps staring, keeps scrolling through this person’s ig, keeps thinking about this person? Who the hell copies someone’s hairstyle if you want to be their enemy? Wouldn’t an enemy want something equally or more amazing, but different? Also he had the audacity to not acknowledge the fact that he was staring at him the whole damn day when Oh-Aew pointed it out. Oh Teh. This is just the tip of the ice-berg.

And when he finally made up with Oh Aew, the dam bursts. He thinks of ways to be close to him again, and not just as friends, but as BEST FRIENDS. He wanted to go “hardcore” immediately and chose his weapon- tutoring. He wanted Oh-Aew with him. He didn’t quite understand why, but he NEEDED Oh-Aew with him. And he wants Oh-Aew to acknowledge it, and see it the same way. He wanted to be special to Oh-Aew too, just like how he is to him. He gets unsettled and upset when he feels like he’s been treated the same as their other friends, and I find this so interesting. He went intense so quick, that I don’t doubt that these intense feelings were there since they were kids. It’s just, at that time, they were kids. As people age, feelings grow into different things, and I guess these their feelings grow to desire, fascination, longing, and love. (Also I squeal every time he admits this. “I don’t like it when ...”)

And his desire grew even more. The more time he spends with Oh-Aew, the more he seems to be wanting to possess him. To see him. To be in his presence. When Oh-Aew’s not there, he’s so unsettled. He touches random things, he paces, tosses around.. He’s lost. But his desire was so apparent. Sometimes, the way he looks at Oh-Aew, it seems like he wanted to devour him whole. This aspect, I feel, clicked when he sniffed his “friend”’s hair so intensely. Damn, the way he sniffed.. You can see the desire. He literally sniffed with his whole body!! Damn. And from there it gets intense and more intense. He’s suddenly aware of it bit by bit. “Coconut, coconut, coconut.” He went home, sniffed the coconut. I use the word sniff and it sounds super cute, but he didn’t do it very cutely haha. Sensual would be more fitting. The scent that he used to hate, is now the scent he seems to yearn as well. Desire by association?

I don’t think he’s stupid, and he’s damn aware that there’s something different he’s feeling about Oh-Aew. He might not understand it at that moment, so he started to play a bit dumb, continue with Tarn, and act “normal”. Is that really normal though, Teh? And Oh-Aew, bless his wit (or else we’ll forever see this static state) made him realize that boy, think different. Think, desire. Think, love. The scene at the beach, the coy atmosphere, was beautiful. I love how Oh-Aew coaxed him gently, and didn’t force him to come to him. To let Teh see him that way. The possibility. And when Teh just came to him, followed him around, desire just radiating in waves, eyes heavy-lidded with it,.. Ah, their relationship shifts yet again. And the scene where he “scratched” his back, Teh was almost lost in it. Almost gave in. Until he touched Oh-Aew’s chest and well damn. He’s a boy. And he slips away.

It’s not that simple, because this wasn’t his plan. He wanted to go to his chosen university, make his mom proud, make his family proud, succeed, have a good career, have a family with Tarn (which his mom apparently will be proud of so, bonus points). And where does Oh-Aew fit in this? Ideally, a friend would be perfect, but they’re not exactly friends, are they? But if he chooses Oh-Aew, what about his plans? His mom? The person who he seeks approval the most. It’s too much.

So he overcompensates with tutoring, the thing that made sense to him. What fits. But it hurts both of them. To Oh-Aew, who wanted Teh’s heart, and Teh, who also wanted Oh-Aew, but is trying to hold himself back and pushes Oh-Aew away, YET try to be close through tutoring. He wants to get away, but he can’t. He mentally, emotionally, and physically can’t. So he made the idioms book, in hopes Oh-Aew would appreciate it, and possibly forgive him (while staying friends?). But why was he lying to himself? The moment he saw Oh-Aew receiving his book, he couldn’t leave. He paced, and he peeked again. And he just can’t win. He’s lost in Oh-Aew’s presence and gaze, and the yearning builds up again, and he wanted to be close, close, close to Oh-Aew. He wanted to inhale his scent, inhale Oh-Aew. When they finally hugged behind the staircase, it’s like, ah, yes. I’m grounded again. (Also can we appreciate the music and cinematography during this scene? BEAUTIFUL). Still in this grounded trance, they went swimming, until oh, he’s pulled down, to a place where no one could see them, no one could judge them. And that’s when he finally let his yearning take over more and kiss him. Finally have him where he actually wanted him, but wasn’t possible due to the reality, the world, people around him. Masterpiece of a scene. Istg.

But of course, everything went straight to hell after. Sure, there were initial blissful moments, and then, when he realized that ah, this is the world again, he took two steps back, and broke Oh-Aew’s heart, and his own. And he knows this. Knows that he actually really damaged them now, and when he was told he couldn’t be friends anymore, it crushed him. How would he be able to live without Oh-Aew? His world. His anchor. So he grasped at things to save his world when he knows Oh-Aew was hurting, and made one desperate, big-scale attempt. Give up his place at university. His dreams. He gave everything to Oh-Aew. He can’t bear to see him suffer and lose his dreams, so he gave up his. I just, I can’t describe it in words.

This was a huge sacrifice. Might be the biggest sacrifice yet. And damn, Oh-Aew didn’t take it? He rejected his efforts, rejected him. The world he was protecting, rejected him (I’ll talk about Oh-Aew later). It hurts. And when he opened the pages of his book, it’s all cut out. He’d already given everything to Oh-Aew. And the one thing he had, the one weapon he had, tutoring, he can’t use it anymore. He just lost both his spot, and Oh-Aew. It hurts. It hurts.

I like that he was a bit passive aggressive at class, and he hinted that Oh-Aew shouldn’t have taken his efforts so lightly, etc. But when Oh-Aew didn’t quite return his passive aggressiveness, and he had this sincere exchange conversation with Bas instead, Teh’s world stopped again. How could Bas tell Oh-Aew what he wanted to tell him so easily? Why is everyone okay about it? How was it so easy? And there it is. He saw Oh-Aew smiling. “This was what I couldn’t give him. Now I lost him.”

He doesn’t have any more cards. No tutoring cards. He only had his words and his heart. But if he can’t fully accept himself, how’s he supposed to face Oh-Aew? Losing Oh-Aew was devastation. The conversation he had with Hoon was so important. The first time he confessed his feelings out loud. With words. And Hoon’s reply.. I just. Wow, he’s a wonderful brother. And ah, now that he had some acceptance, he could finally accept himself. But he can’t do anything at the moment of course, because Oh-Aew’s with Bas now.

So he fulfills his promise to Oh-Aew at least. I wonder what he was thinking at this point. Did he come to terms that he won’t be close to Oh-Aew anymore? Was he ready to let him go? AND THEN THE MIGHTY SCENE. When Oh-Aew said he just wants Teh to not disappear on him and could be anything Teh wants, Teh’s just like. “Ah. My world’s coming back together. And I’m ready.” “If I can be anything, can I be your boyfriend?”

UGHHHHH THE AMOUNT OF FEELS. Teh’s character is SUCH a journey, but it’s a book I’d love to read and reread, and discover the little things I haven’t discovered before. I love how complex he is, and that we can see so clearly his struggles, turmoil, yearning, and finally, acceptance.

2. Oh-Aew

One thing that I would love is more insight on Oh-Aew’s character. But he, too, is a whole character journey. Have you ever felt like you had no aim? Nowhere to head to, just a mindless walk?

Oh-Aew didn’t have a dream. He didn’t want anything, but it’s not like he’s doing it on purpose. It sounds like it’s nothing much, but imagine being in a desert. With no directions. Or like a dark room, where you desperately try to find a light, just somewhere to look at, somewhere to go, something to do.

And then he found it, his light. His passion. Acting. It’s like when a starved man finally sees food, or when a locked person finally sees the world. He sees motivation. He sees purpose. He sees something he could strive for, and make his parents proud of him. Now imagine that when you finally found that motivation and sense of purpose, someone who you care about, someone you hold dear and never thought would betray you, says you wouldn’t be able to do it, and that you’d give up anyways.

I don’t know how to stress this, but being told that you’re incapable of succeeding at a young age really affects your thinking. Humans by nature, don’t like to be told what they can or cannot do, and it’s the same for Oh-Aew. So he takes that as a challenge, and tries his whole life to prove Teh wrong. To be honest, it’s both a blessing and a curse. A curse because he had ongoing thoughts about how he needs to be the best, and that he needs to prove someone wrong. But a blessing because he now has another motivation to strengthen his attempts to reach his dreams. Personally, I, too, find competitions a push for me to be better. But it also had negative impact on me. I wasn’t satisfied with anything I achieved, I just wanted to bulldoze through. And if there’s even a smallest mistake, I’d beat myself up. It’s not a healthy lifestyle.

And when he finally met with this person again, not only did he keep on staring at him, he also brought up his academic weakness and implied that he’ll fail. Again. Again. And what’s worst is he was partly right. He didn’t get the placement.

Okay I’m going to stop there for Oh-Aew’s motivation and ambition, because I’ll get emotional lol I relate too much. So on to Teh.

What’s interesting about Oh-Aew is that I’m not really sure what he’s thinking, and he’s quite a mystery. But at the same time, he has this presence that’s just, healing and addictive. He doesn’t force, doesn’t push. He coaxes, he’s gentle. But he knows what he wants, and he’s clear about it. I’d love to know the thoughts he had for Teh when they met, though. Because, even though we weren’t shown what was going through his head, or the degree of which he thought of Teh, he obviously sees Teh as different from the rest.

When Teh told him he’s upset that he’s being treated like everyone else, Oh-Aew was just like. “Bestie, why didn’t you tell me? Let me affirm your position. Here’s my big secret.” WITHOUT hesitation. He didn’t think it was weird or anything, all he wanted was to make Teh smile again. And he’s so in tune with Teh. Whenever Ten’s upset, he just knows, asks, and he’ll wait for Teh to be ready, and when he’s ready, he’ll listen to Teh and comfort his unease. I understand how Teh would be so entranced. Oh-Aew was like a breath of fresh air, the quiet comfort, yet alluring and addictive.

And one of my favorite parts would be when Teh told him to not give his time to others, Oh-Aew said it to him right back with such a challenging look on his face. And I think it’s interesting, because he doesn’t really show that much aggression (it wasn’t really aggressive, but he had a harder tone than usual). It shows how Oh-Aew is quite clever in hiding what he wants to hide, or maybe he could even store it in a secret box inside his head and try to ignore it. I’m saying this because we kept seeing how Teh checked and rechecked who saw his story with Tarn, but he couldn’t see Oh-Aew’s name, and Oh-Aew didn’t really seem affected by it. But when Teh mentioned about time, he suddenly took off mask and it’s as if he said, “You’re bothered with me giving your time to others? Okay my bad, but you’re also giving my time others. You think I don’t know? I’m also bothered.” And at this point I was like, ah, so Oh-Aew does notice. And he does gets bothered. It continues on to Teh sniffing the hell out of his hair and he’s just like what? And he thinks, and he thinks, and he looks at the coconut shampoo. And he thinks.

Teh.

And he puts on more shampoo, which suggested how he actually welcomes the thought of Teh liking the smell on him. He wants Teh to like him. More coconut, more coconut. Like me.

But he’s patient, Oh-Aew is. He doesn’t push Teh, he just observes, tests, and when he’s quite sure, he launches his gentle yet dangerous attacks. He made sure Teh was looking at him, thinking of him (not that he actually needed to, Teh was already full of Oh-Aew thoughts HAHA but it does help, to push Teh a bit), and he coaxes. He introduced the possibility of them gently.

But how long could a person wait? How many times can a person get rejected? When he realized he liked Teh, he didn’t tip toe his way around Teh like he did with Bas, he went full force. It’s like, just as Teh was like a hungry lion, Oh-Aew was a prey enticing to be eaten. He wanted to be eaten. He liked Teh’s attention, wanted Teh’s attention, more than anything. He wanted him. After all, Teh was behind his motivation his whole life. He wanted Teh to see him, to love him, to embrace him. Accept him. How long can he be patient? The lion knows he’s hungry, but he refuses to eat. Yet; the lion keeps the prey to himself, to his clutches, to his territory. But the lion won’t do anything directly, so is the prey not worthy enough to be eaten? If not, why put it in the lion’s yearning clutches?

Every time Teh seemed to move forward, Oh-Aew gets disappointed when he moves two steps back. And it’s maddening, because now Teh is just at the center of his world, but he can’t access it. There’s a wall, and this wall keeps him from truly being with Teh. And he’s so addicted to Teh, to Teh’s attention, and he wants more. He had the taste of it, but just as he gets to taste- it’s gone. And he knows why. And it goes back to his own anxiety of being not worthy. Not worthy of a dream, not worthy for a person. Are his parents even proud of him? He desperately tried to change, maybe if I change my gender, he’d like me? He’d accept me? But of course it’s not possible; and it breaks him. Is he even worthy of anything?

And he decided to give up. I might be just assuming, but it’s as if “I’m not smart, why bother. I’m not lovable, why bother.” And he wanted to lock himself in that dark room again, to be aimless, to be numb, to not feel anymore of the pain of not being enough.

And this is the part where I want to rant the most. His rejection of Teh’s place in university. Yes, at first I questioned it too, but did he look happy at all when he rejected it? People have mentioned that Teh’s sacrifice was the answer to Oh-Aew’s earlier question “If the teacher chose you, would you have given it to me?” (Somewhere along these lines). That yes, he would give it up to Oh-Aew.

But Oh Aew too, was answering an accusation made on him. He doesn’t, and never did, want to steal Teh’s dream. All he wanted was an inspiration, a rival to compete with, not to crush. Not to destroy. To me, Teh giving up his place could mean two things to Oh-Aew: Teh was first offering to be destroyed, and second, it would mean that the whole rivalry, inspiration, chase, ambition was colored gray when before it was a burning bright red. There was an idiom that they learned, “Easy pickings.” To get something when you didn’t put so much effort in. And I think, if I was in his place, I’d feel that it was an easy picking, because someone intentionally gave it to him on a silver platter. More so, his love, his rival, his inspiration gave it to him, like the whole competition didn’t matter. I don’t know the intention of the writers, but I feel that it was like Oh-Aew also didn’t want to be the one holding the knife of destroying Teh’s dream. Because he never wanted to. And the competition, the inspiration to his ambition and growth which all started and continued from and around Teh, would mean less. To be a competent rival, he needs to get there by himself.

Also I think if he did accept it, it would be a whole cycle again. Teh would have a card, and he’d never realize that the card’s not what Oh-Aew wants. Oh-Aew only wants his heart. Both of them needed this. Teh needed to know this, and Oh-Aew needed a push to realize his supposed purpose and motivation again. Which he will achieve, by himself, with his own hands, as a worthy rival. And if he gets it, he can say HE did it. He won’t have to feel guilty all his life for “stealing” Teh’s place. Damn. I’ve always wanted to say this since I don’t see much about people talking about Oh-Aew’s side in this.

On to Bas, it’s actually quite heartbreaking to see how he treated Oh-Aew exactly how he wanted. To be accepted and loved without hesitance, to hold hands without a care in the world, to be able receive love without walls. Bas is truly golden. But it’s just not who Oh-Aew wanted. He wasn’t quite Teh, and Bas knows this, and guided him back to Teh. UGH BAS I HOPE YOU FIND SOMEONE AND BE HAPPY.

And finally, the sunset scene. I like how he didn’t apologize about the university placement, but he knew he didn’t want to lose Teh. He already accepted that he might not be what he wants to be by Teh’s side, but he’s willing to take it. Anything. He just wants Teh to not disappear again. And oh, Teh suddenly confessed.

AAAAAAAAAA I CAN’T GET OVER THIS T.T The series is SOOOOO beautiful and well-written. I’m so nervous for Part 2. Pls don’t give them a sad ending. PLEASE. I BEG YOU. Or I might really hypnotize myself to forget the second part and only remember the first one. And and if anyone wants to talk to me and discuss this with me please do!!!!! I love a good discussion T.T and I’m lonely hELP I need to talk about it with someone

[doorsclosingslowly]

3, 10, 13, 20, 21, 23, 29, 33, 39, 44 for the fanfic asks!

3. Are there any fics that inspired you to write what you do?

I am probably low-key inspired by everything I read. I got into this whole thing because I like thinking, okay but what if this happened? and observing how word choice and story construction affect me, etc. I know I learned the idea of going into tiny parenthetical flashbacks mid-scene from a fic.

In terms of plot, though, everything I’ve actually published went through so many changes that it’s pretty unrecognizable from what spurred me into thinking about it.

10. What’s your favorite fandom, pairing, or character to read fic for?

That changes over the years. Currently I read a lot of Daniel LaRusso/Johnny Lawrence (and especially those beautiful Daniel LaRusso/Amanda Larusso/Johnny Lawrence ones) because I got sucked in by the promise of sad middle-aged men being bad at figuring out their shit. In a karate soap opera that’s sequel to some old movies. So fun. I like the deconstruction of the heroic movie narrative but also I just like middle-aged people muddling through

But I still like all the other characters I’ve cared about over the years, and I revisit them (and new work I find) occasionally

13. Do you outline your fics? How much of a headache would someone get if they just looked at an outline of yours without reading the fic?

I have a document for every fic that’s basically notes and draft combined, and I put down everything I think of in there in roughly the place I want it and flesh it out either when I get to that chapter or installment (for serialised work) or when I feel like it (for one-shots). So everyone else would know as much as I do, though I don’t know if my thoughts will make as much sense to them

For my first fic Epicenter I have way more notes, but that one has a lot of moving parts because it’s a slave rebellion in space told from the pov of vagrant pirates who are both symbols and outsiders to the actual rebellion, and I wanted to keep track of like. travel times. what the other characters do at that point in time. I even had language notes for the two POV characters because I wasn’t confident in just making shit up

20. What’s your favorite part about the fanfiction writing process?

When I have an idea (whether it’s a serialized story I’m writing already or the seed of a new story) and I toy around with it and suddenly, there is an ending that is both emotionally and thematically compelling. That’s the good shit

21. What’s your least favorite part about the fanfiction writing process?

I don’t write linearly, I have a document for a story and some ideas where it all goes and I write scenes somewhere in there and skip ahead or back to work on another scene or edit. So it’s a set of patches I feel good about connected by notes and ideas how they flow into each other, and those lat few connections are hard. Like, if they weren’t I would have done them earlier, there’s a reason why they were left, but I had fics where I sat for days figuring out one sentence to join the bits I had written

23. What’s your absolute favorite trope to write?

I like different characters perceiving the same thing in completely different ways. I like kindness winning over violence--not because it’s more ‘powerful’ in one scene but because the presence of kindness changes the whole story so that a violent victory is impossible or undesirable.

29. Have you ever written for an exchange or event of some kind? Which one(s)? Did you enjoy it?

I wrote Down in the Ground where the Dead Men Go for my friends @humanformdragon and @expatgirl ‘s deancas christmas ghost story event. It was really fun and challenged me to write something I never would have otherwise and it’s also fascinating seeing the breadth of stories that came out of that event, but I was also super lucky my brain was cooperating at the time. I twice signed up for another event and had to drop out because depression dried my words up, and in general that’s why I prefer writing on my own time

33. What do you like writing better: one shots or multi-chapter stuff?

Some ideas have enough meat for a long story and some work better as a short bit; some are more episodic and can be broken down into chapters (if they have a tight plot) or series installments (if they’re more loosely connected) and some only really work taken as a whole. I tend to follow what I think works for the idea tbh, all forms have their neat aspects

39. What’s something about your writing that you pride yourself on?

Pride is one of the emotions I don’t really get, tbh

44. Rant about something writing related.

I’m not really a rant person? I love reading them, they’re often funny, I’m not very good at them :( Idk. Maybe... So I write in a language that’s not my mother tongue, right? Which is really fun because I love the intricacies of how English works, but every once in a while I get an idea for a sentence that only works in German. I can find the literal translation but the connotations are off, or the German word is related to other words that I want to bring in but the English word has different roots, the idiom exists and works the same but it doesn’t use the animal i need it to, etc. I love all those layers of meaning and I’ve been obsessed in learning them as well as I can in my second language. But it sucks when it just doesn’t want to work the way I need it to. For my writing I’ve decided that the further away from Coruscant a culture is the more freely I can systematically fuck up English so it’s less of a problem now, haha

[punksungjin]

just flower shop things [kim wonpil]

the mandatory florist!wonpil bc he is so soft and cute. alternatively: everyday wonpil looks forward to seeing his favorite customer, but it has to take a little bit of jealousy to get him to admit he likes them.

pairing: kim wonpil (day6) x reader

1.5 k words | florist au, fluff

Your visits are the highlight of Wonpil’s day. 

The flower shop is a lot of things, brick and white concrete and earth, but boring is how he would choose to describe it. Not a lot of people buy flowers during regular days, and most of the time Wonpil just lounges behind the counter, occasionally spritzing and pruning, then taking a nap. Boring, Wonpil thinks. 

Until you start visiting.

You come in everyday. He’s memorized your routine: in the morning, you’re first to walk in—he’s lucky enough if any customer comes after you—so much that the wind chime tinkling before 9 AM has become synonymous with your return. Coming in, you’ll inhale all the scents of the shop—cherrywood and leaves—and walk to his counter with a renewed bounce in your step.

Wonpil thinks you’re pretty.

“Good morning,” he says brightly, when you come into his shop that morning. He doesn’t usually like acting cute on purpose but it just comes out when you’re there. He’s giddy when you visit, and grateful because you’re giving him business. “What can I get you today?”

Wonpil knows your order by heart, but he lets you say it anyway. He likes the sound of your voice. Friendship flowers, please. “Friendship flowers, please. I think I’ll get those pink ones.”

Pink? That’s new. He flashes you a smile, taking the pencil tucked from behind his ear, writing you a slip.

“What will you be giving me?” You peer over the counter to look at his handwriting. Then, Wonpil can only focus on your head, which he can see directly as you lean over, and he thinks even the back of your head is beautiful. “Ooh, freesias. I bet that’s pretty. Everything you do is pretty.”

Your compliment sends a zing up Wonpil’s feet. He disappears into the backroom for a bit, collecting your flowers. He considers adding another one, but stops when he remembers the flowers aren’t for you anyway.

When he returns, you’re still there, tapping your fingers on the counter. Wonpil’s noticed you like watching him work on the bouquet with his hands, so he spreads it out on the nearby table and beckons you to come closer. 

“Your friend must be very happy,” Wonpil hums. A strand of hair has fallen astray on his forehead and he’s pretty sure you’re staring at him. Cute. 

“She is,” you murmur. You’re fixated on his craft, folding and creasing, bunching and tying. “You make such good art with your hands.”

Wonpil feels the blush rise in his cheeks. “Ah, I meant she must be very happy because you’re thoughtful—”

“Really, you deserve more traction.” He looks at you and you’re grinning, all crinkled eyes and teeth, and he thinks your eyes are especially pretty today. “My friends like your work. You’re amazing.”

You’re amazing.

Even hours after you leave, Wonpil can still hear you talking fondly about him. He can practically hear the smile in your voice. You’re amazing. He shakes his head and buries it in his hands, aware of how giddy he’s feeling.

The next day, you walk in, same pep in your step, same cheer in your voice. Except—

“Do you have any flowers for... Someone you love?” You rub your arm shyly, and Wonpil feels like... Well. He doesn’t know what he feels like. It feels like jealousy, but the rational part of him condemns it, because while he truly does like you, it wouldn’t matter. You’re clearly not interested, anyway.

He settles for ‘dread’. “Roses?”

You smile. Wonpil has heard of the idiom of smiles lighting up rooms before, but he didn’t really think that sort of smile was real until he met you. “Roses it is, then.”

When Wonpil turns around he frowns so hard it feels like his head is going to explode. Maybe he should have confessed his little crush earlier.

Reluctantly he gets the roses and wraps them—he doesn’t even put on a show for you to watch. When he’s done he thinks about how the flowers are pretty and so are you, and how you’re going to give the flowers to someone you like, and it isn’t him.

Nope, not jealous. Definitely not.

Wonpil puffs his cheeks out and exhales, walking back to the counter where you’re waiting. “Here you go,” he says curtly, mouth in a tight smile. He’s holding the bouquet with both hands like a schoolboy offering flowers. 

You look at him curiously, taking the flowers from Wonpil. “Are you... Are you okay?” An awkward laugh punctuates the end of your sentence. “You look angry.”

Immediately Wonpil glances at his reflection on the nearby mirror and realizes he looks like a fool: lips pressed together, brows scrunched, cheeks flushed scarlet. “Oh, sorry—!” He drops the expression. “Sorry, I think I just—”

You cut him off with a laugh. “What was that? That was cute.”

“Ah...” Wonpil laughs nervously, allows himself a smile. He rubs a hand on the back of his neck. “Thank you.”

You give a bright nod to him. He looks at you starting to leave and suddenly one thing is clear to him: he likes you, and he wishes he could give you all the flowers in the world.

“Wait,” Wonpil says,  before you can leave. You’re paid and leaving, and he thinks if he doesn’t say it now, he’d never get the courage to say it. “Y/N, wait here, please.”

“Um— “ You freeze in your spot. “Um, okay...?”

He leaves you bewildered when he goes in the backroom. Hidden, Wonpil tries to even out his breathing. Then, systematically, like he’s done countless times before, he takes a couple of flowers, wrapping them together in a small, simple bouquet. It doesn’t look like much compared to your roses.

Still, these are the flowers that remind you of him. They’re direct and pretty. Just like you.

“Here.” Wonpil holds out your bouquet in the same manner again, and he doesn’t even meet your eyes. You look like a deer in headlights, but eventually you put down the roses—Oh, thank God!—and take the flowers, brushing against his hand in the process.

“What’s this?”

“Peonies and baby’s breath,” he says, fidgeting with his hands. “They’re sweet and pretty, so they match you.”

Wonpil’s a bit pleased to see you flustered.

“Wah, Pil, they’re...” You sniff the flowers. “I think I’ll just pay for this one.”

“What?” Haha, what? “They’re for you.”

Silence. Wonpil rubs his hands together awkwardly.

You blink. “For me?”

“Yes,” he says, “take them; they’re free.”

“Aw, Pil, thank you but I couldn’t really—”

“Take them,” Wonpil blurts out, waving his hand dismissively. “I made them for you. Just... For you.”

“What—” Your eyes widen with realization and he winces, preparing himself for the rejection. Oh, well. At least you would be kind enough to turn him down nicely. “What is—Are these really for me?”

You sound so bewildered he can’t help but laugh. “Um, I like you,” he says quietly, but you catch the words anyway.

“You like me?”

His head whips up to look at you. Why did you look so surprised? Surely you’d caught on with his pining, he wasn’t exactly the most subtle person.

“Yes, and I think you like someone so I’m going to say my feelings now before they get deeper,” Wonpil says earnestly, glancing at the bouquet of roses on the counter.

You hang your head. “Wonpil...”

Here it comes.

“I don’t really like flowers,” you mumble. Like some kind of cruel allegory, he actually feels himself wilt under your gaze. You didn’t like flowers? Why were you buying so much, then? Flowers were all he could offer, and you didn’t like them. “I don’t really like flowers, Pil, and—”

“Ah, okay. So I’ll just take those?”

“No!” Your voice surprises the both of you. “I don’t like flowers and... I only ever go in here to see you. That’s why I go here, to see you. Sorry if... That’s creepy. But I like seeing your smile and you’re cute and you make good bouquets so—”

What you’re saying slowly sinks in. You like him, too. Wonpil’s mouth quirks upward in a smile. “You’re cute.”

You’re gripping the bouquet too hard. “I think you’re cute, too.”

The two of you exchange shy glances at each other for a moment. Then, he asks, “So who are the flowers for?”

“My mom’s. It’s her birthday.”

“Ah.” Wonpil didn’t know it was possible but he smiles even bigger. He even giggles, and the sound rings through the shop. “I’ll take the roses back, then. Cotton would suit her better. Wait here, okay?”

“Okay, I’ll be here.”

Before he leaves again for the backroom, your hands brush like they always do. But this time, you aren’t in a rush to draw away, and you flash him the smile that makes him feel all warm and funny inside.

Okay, I’ll be here.

Definitely, your visits are the highlight of Wonpil’s day.

[musical-nerd18]

Shower Thoughts, to Love, and Back Again

!! gift exchange for @sanderssidesgiftxchange posting time! mines for @anxious-cherryblossom who requested “ A fluff oneshot of LAMP, Analogical or Royality! The tooth-rottier the better”

Summery: Logan and Virgil are awake at 1am. Virgil handles this by throwing out some random thoughts and being sappy, it's cute, I'm bad at summaries.

read on AO3 HERE

there is very very minor of talk about death and blood but its like one line of dialogue each ashjadbawkjaa theres also a smidge of angst whoops its cleared up real quick tho

or! its under the read more!

“Hey, Logan?” When there was no response, the emo gently poked the man lying next to him on the shoulder. “Logan.” Still nothing, Virgil poked a little harder. “Logan. Babe.”

Finally, Logan stirred, “Virgil?” He turned to look at the emo, squinting his eyes a bit. “What are you doing up?”

“Logan. Okay, have you ever thought about how at the end of the day, we’re just brains trapped inside a meat suit?”

“...Virgil, I love you, but what the fuck? Where on earth did that come from?”

“I’m tired, Logan, what are you expecting from me.”

“Okay, well, Virgil, could you please tell your meat suit to go to bed, because it’s one in the goddamn morning, and I would like to go back to sleep.”

Virgil looked a bit sheepish, “Ok, so, I get that, but also, like, anxiety says fuck that so…” Logan sighed, sitting up, knowing he’d be unable to sleep until his boyfriend managed to calm himself. “Ever think about how if you live on a farm and take care of chickens for a living, how that makes you a chicken tender?”

“You’ve been spending far too much time with Remus.”

“You’re probably right, but also, like, have you seen his face when you tell him no? He looks like a kicked puppy or some shit, how can you say no to that face looking right at you? How, Logan?”

Logan sighed, gently shaking his head. “It wasn’t intended to be an insult toward either of you, simply just an observation. I’m well aware that you and Remus see each other as brothers, of sorts, and who am I to take that away from either of you?”

“Cool cool cool, also, humans are frozen.”

There was silence. “I’m sorry, dear, what?”

“Well, you have a liquid, ok? So if you take that liquid and change it into a solid, you do that by freezing it, right? So if you have a solid, it’s safe to assume that it’s at or below the freezing point, right? So it’s frozen.”

“Darling, I’m still so confused right now.”

“Humans are solid, and solids are frozen liquids, so humans are frozen.”

“What on Earth is going through your brain right now, Virgil?”

“So many things, Logan. So many things. So many things and almost none of them are good.”

“Almost?”

“You’re doing the cute head tilt thing you always do when you’re confused, it looks kinda like a confused kitten and it’s absolutely adorable and it lives in my head rent-free at all times every day.”

Logan blinked. “Virgil, thoughts and ideas and the like aren’t living, they cannot live anywhere, much less pay re-”

“And another thing! It’s super adorable when you always take things so literally, like, you understand some idioms, but like, when you’re tired you just. You just don’t understand? And that’s super adorable? It’s also a great indicator of when you need to sleep, which is also a great indicator of when we can cuddle that won’t have you leaving after a little? Also, it makes you do the cute head tilt thing and I just, god I love you.”

“I love you too, darling.” The two of them laid together, appreciating the other’s company for a moment. “Wait, Virgil, you said you couldn’t sleep because of your anxiety, but what about?”

“Asking if someone has slept on something is the human equivalent of asking if they turned it on and off again.”

“Wonderfully cursed, darling, but you're avoiding the question. What’s got you so worried?” Virgil cuddled into Logan, burying his face in Logan’s neck, whining quietly. “You’re being very adorable, but you’re still avoiding the question, love.”

Virgil whined slightly louder, before running out of air. He sucked in a large breath and “ItotallymighthaveacrushonPattonandRomanbutlikeIstillloveyouobviouslylikeyou’reamazingIloveyousomu-” he was cut off when Logan gently placed a finger over Virgil’s lips, a small smile on his face.

“One more time, darling. Just a little slower, if you will.”

Virgil took a deep breath, calming himself slightly, still speaking quickly, though Logan could understand. “I totally might have a crush on Patton and Roman but like, I still love you obviously, like you’re amazing I love you so much.”

Virgil watched as Logan fumbled around for a minute, in fear that he had said too much, that this was the final straw, that Logan would– “Ah-ha!”

“Ah-ha?”

“I was wondering where it went! Right, so, back to your confession, Virgil, I believe that the term that I was looking for was,” he shuffled through his newly gathered flashcards before flipping one out towards Virgil, “is ‘same’. Or would it be ‘mood’? One of the two of them at least, from my understanding they would both mean roughly the same thing in this situation.” The two of them made eye contact for a moment before Logan glanced away. “Although, perhaps it would have been a better idea to have simply said that I… am in the same metaphorical boat. I too have a crush on Patton and Roman, as well as still loving you dearly. I am somewhat sure that I informed you of my being polyamorous when we started dating, didn’t I?” Virgil managed a small nod, somewhat confused and overwhelmed. “I thought so. Since I am polyamorous, it would be quite hypocritical of me to break up with you, or something of the sort, so of course I would be completely alright with you having crushes on others, even if I didn’t also share those feelings, and I’m rambling, aren’t I?”

“I… I mean, you are, but it’s still kinda cute? Also, I’m really confused? What’s happening?”

“What’s happening? Virgil, dear, I’m simply telling you that it is quite alright to have feelings for the others, as I am in the same metaphorical boat and share those feelings as well. In fact, there’s quite a high possibility that the others do, in fact, reciprocate those feelings. At least, they reciprocate them for you.”

“Wait, wait, wait, ok, ok, we have a couple things to address there, um. Let’s start with my gut reaction to hearing you mention that they may like me somehow, which is just: what the fuck? No. Wrong. No. No way. Uh, next thing: Logan, babe, why on earth wouldn’t they like you? You’re amazing, adorable, funny, witty, smart, wonderful, and more, I’m just tired and can’t english-” grabbing Logan’s shoulders and gently shaking him, Virgil continued, “-but you’re fucking amazing, and if they have any goddamn brain cells, they’d see that, and they’d love you, just like I do.”

Logan stood there, eyes wide, as he watched his boyfriend speak so passionately, being rocked back and forth as Virgil forgot he was still holding his shoulders. Virgil slowly stopped ranting, coming back to the present as he noticed his boyfriends eyes slowly begin to become teary.

“Babe? Oh, Logan, honey, why are you crying? Was it something I said? I didn’t mean to make you feel bad, or anything, oh god did I accidentally strike a nerve?”

Logan smiled, tears slowly falling from his eyes, “You didn’t do anything with an adverse effect, Virgil. In fact, you said what I needed to hear, even if I wasn’t aware that I needed to hear it. You know me, I don’t typically care for sentiments, but it is… nice. To hear those kinds of things, from someone that I ca-. No. Someone that I love. I tend to metaphorically fall into a rut, per say, where I can’t stop thinking about my shortcomings - Virgil, I love you, we don’t need to get into those right at this moment - but I get stuck thinking about them, and internalizing them to the point where they become so much of my personal identity, and hearing someone who I know logically will not lie about that sort of thing inform me that those perceived shortcomings are, in fact, falsehoods helps my brain, to logically understand that they are, and sometimes, that realization comes with a couple tears along the way. You didn’t do anything with any adverse effects, Virgil, I promise you.”

“You’re sure?”

Logan frowned, pulling Virgil into a close hug. “I’m absolutely positive, my dear. Just as I am certain about the existence of the stars above, I am certain that nothing that you have said to me today has had any negative effects, mentally or otherwise. I swear it.”

A little snicker, then, “You sound like Princey when you get sappy.”

“Falsehood. Though we all sound somewhat similar, due to us being parts of Thomas, we also do all sound different. I was not making an effort to impersonate Roman, so I still sounded like myself.”

“Babe, I meant, like, the grand gestures, flowery language, and shit, not your actual voice.”

“Oh. I see.”

“Yeah, anyway! Massive subject change! Nothing’s on fire, fire’s just on things.”

“Ah. Back to this, I see. You’re technically not wrong, I suppose.”

“A ton of people is just like… 10 people.”

“I believe it would be closer to anywhere between 12 and 15, based on average weights, yes.”

“Your stomach thinks all potatoes are mashed.”

“Horribly cursed, yet someone true. Stomachs don’t have brains, and therefore cannot think, but if they could, they likely would believe that.”

“When you brush your teeth, you’re cleaning your skeleton, and it’s the only time you ever do that.”

“A little fun fact for you, Virgil, your teeth? They aren’t actually bones.”

“I’m sorry, they’re not what?”

“Teeth contain collagen, when bones do not. Teeth are more similar, though not identical, to finger or toe nails, or even hair, due to the keratin contained in all of those, though it is in significantly lower levels within teeth.”

“Logan, I think that is, no contest, the worst thing I have ever heard anyone say. Ever. That’s worse then something Remus would say on a bad day. I hate the idea of teeth just… being hair. I hate that. I love you, but jesus Logan, what the actual flying fuck? You’ve sent me into a crisis, Logan, a crisis. About teeth.”

“As Roman would say, Virgil, you are usually experiencing some form of crisis, this is not a new phenomenon.”

“Roman would not say the word phenomenon, and would throw in a nickname, so that was not what he would say, that was the idea in your words.”

“I suppose that is true, yes. Would you like me to provide some more facts? I promise they won’t be teeth related.”

“I… sure? I’m still lowkey reeling, so go for it? I like hearing you talk. It’s nice. Soothing.”

“If you’re being this one, you must really be tired. Hm, let me think. Ah, yes, around 17 milliliters of human blood can function as an egg substitute when baking.”

“Why the absolute fuck is that a fact that humanity knows.”

“I honestly could not tell you. There’s a town in Norway where dying is illegal.”

“That’s a segway, what the fuck? How do you outlaw that?”

“I’d imagine that it is quite a difficult law to enforce. There are more bacteria living in a human's mouth than there are humans on Earth.”

“That’s… a lot of bacteria.”

“Approximately 50 billion would be considered a lot, yes.”

“What the fuck.”

“A quarter of your bones are located in your feet.”

“Okay! That’s enough of that for like… what time is it now?”

“I believe it’s 1:36.”

“Right! That’s enough horrible thoughts for 1:36 in the fucking morning, so it’s bedtime! Come cuddle me again and lets fucking go back to bed, holy shit.”

“Didn’t I mention that we should try that over half an hour ago, my dear?”

“Hey, Logan? Starshine? Love? Yeah, shut the fuck up. I love you, so fucking much, but shut the fuck up, and cuddle me. We’re sleeping, and you’re either turning off your alarm, or setting it for later, you’re cuddling me until I say we’re done, okay? Okay.”

“Alright, love.”

[ridell-crimea]

I enjoy hearing what's in your brain (oof that sounds weird sorry) so who if anyone do you think Leanne would pick up bad words from? I think it would be tibarn he seems like he has a aggressive pattern of speech

hmm good question ..... Its probably up to debate but here are my Takes :

- tibarn is definitely on the blunter side of things, but- I think his experience with reyson was enough to teach him that herons can and WILL pick up your mannerism, so whenever Leanne is around he'll suddenly drop his tone and be a lot more gentle and polite. In the end i don't think she'd pick up any bad words from him (maybe one or two if she stepped in at the wrong time and place), but I can totally see her using vocabulary, sentence structures and maybe a bit of slang that are usually only used by people from phoenecis.

- i like to think that nailah, tormod, muarim and stefan all have speech patterns that slightly differ from those from other people in the army, since they all lived in autonomous territories that don't necessarily interact with the rest of the continent. Differences include idioms, minor differences in grammar and maybe some little differences in their pronunciation, and Leanne gets lost really easily when talking to them because she struggles telling apart standard and regional languages and tends to mix them up. Now, I don't think nailah or muarim would teach her bad words because they're both very distinguished. Stefan... might use bad words in Leanne's presence, but probably not enough for her to remember them, since they'd be a bit specific and she wouldn't hear them much outside of that. Tormod? I think hanging out with sothe completly desensitized him to bad words as a concept so, YEAH, he's probably responsible for some bad habits of hers

- After interacting with Nephenee for a bit, Leanne also picks up EXTREMELY specific slang from the countryside. She never explicitly asked what it means and only vaguely knows with the context, so she tends to use it incorrectly and it makes it even more confusing for everyone

- i can see elincia being a bit too spontaneous and accidentally slipping a few times, especially in PoR when she is a bit awkward and isn't completly used to speaking with nobility.... Nothing too shocking, but just enough that she'd feel bad for teaching her that 😔

- mist. mist is a teenager and hangs out with Ike and Boyd and Soren so what exactly would you expect? She's nice but i think she may have done the most damage in this group. at some point reyson dropped the f word with her, she repeated it to ike who casually dropped it during an important and official meeting, and that's the story of how soren showed up to threaten reyson because he's a "bad influence for everyone". (well the thing is, mist is the one who taught reyson the word in the first place. shes known it since she was 8 and doesn't use it too liberally but will gladly educates anyone who might need it). Anyways, I'm still a sucker for Mist showing interest in ancient language so I think it'd be nice if Leanne and her studied together.... Leanne explains how to be mean in her language and Mist teaches her the f word it's called equivalent exchange !

- Reyson... Contributes? He doesn't completly approve of this, but he's glad to see his sister making progress, and since he's the most proficient in both languages he became some sort of walking dictionary. He won't teach Leanne bad things, but if she comes up to him and asks what that awful word tormod just said means, who is he to get in the way of knowledge 😔

- Oh it drives naesala completly crazy btw. At first he's genuinely upset because ever since they've been kids he's ALWAYS been watching his language around Leanne so she would be a distinguished lady or whatever. But after hearing her saying shitty stuff with her gentle voice he decided it was funny and may have changed his mind

But yeah, ultimately this is all about modern language - in my heart i know Leanne could and would say whatever is the ancient language equivalent of the f word at any given moment✌️

[yfere]

Shipping Calculus! Live Updates from C2E60

Hello, and welcome to episode 60, otherwise known as THE RISE OF YASHA SHIPPING. We’ve been waiting and waiting for it, and here it fucking is!! Masterpost here

+15 to Fjord/Jester as they gain many Flirting Points with cute little “Heys” at each other in combat, profferings of healing potions, that weird slightly in canon liminal area of drink sharing, winking madness, Fjord dedicating the dead jellyfish to Jester like he’s some kinda knight (+3 to Beau/Cockblocking for pointing out the disturbing murder of what was once a romantic Fjorester symbol). Jester asking Fjord if he’s okay and checking him for possession (Bonus points for Body Contact!) Points taken away for Fjord griping about Jester/Pets, saying “It’s not your pet, Jester!” while Jester shouts back that she doesn’t even like it, thank you, she likes animals but she’s not going to go gaga over a murder demon you absolute asshole.

+9 to Caleb/Caduceus as Caduceus continues his trend of enthusiastically supporting Caleb decisions that the rest of the party very much do not enthusiastically support. “Good call!” he says when Caleb goes to burn the bodies in the Bone Pit as an anti-jellyfish precaution. Totally down with Caleb murdering creatures down there as there’s “not anything good that’s living down there” and along with Yasha joining the Pro Caleb NPC Murder Club. Caleb very nearly setting Caduceus on fire as well but avoiding it through the power of luck love, being adorably distressed that Caduceus might have been hurt, relieved when he’s fine.

+6 to Caduceus/Fjord as Caduceus encourages Fjord to “Stick by me, and you’ll be fine.” Looking after Fjord’s welfare by encouraging him to stay in the Hut, and acting as dedicated translator for all of Fjord’s ridiculously curious needs. The pair of them same-hatting on asking every single person they happen to meet if they know of any answers to their god problems. Points taken away for Caduceus’ short term memory failing to recall the second of Fjord’s questions as he gets distracted asking about the Blooming Grove.

+32 to Yasha/Jester. Okay. Okay. So, trying to cooperate over turtle flipping: good. But the real thing. The real thing is. During Yasha’s first dream, Jester is the first body she sees after Mollymauk’s, the first and most important after him of the “somebody you’ve let in.” The only person she’s really willing to speak to after she wakes, despite her discomfort. The first person whose strength she thinks of when trying to break her shackles. The one she listens to, over Caduceus, when it comes to how to approach her god—to just try to talk to him, bring Jester and her friends along. The one she models when she tries to connect to the Stormlord—drawing a dick in the mud because if nothing else works, this has to, this is Jester. Jester being the most sweetly supportive of Yasha after her dream, even while Nott minimizes and Caduceus godsplains. Jester fucking….sleeping in the rain with Nott so that Yasha won’t be alone, enduring ridiculous amounts of discomfort and lost sleep just to be there for her. They are…..love. This is…..the true birth of  Jestasha.

+1 to Beau/Yasha as Beau accomplishes an epic battle move by sliding between Yasha’s legs (just not in the way she was hoping). Looking piningly at Yasha’s sleeping face. But, as has been decreed by the Shipping Gods they are two ships passing in the night, destined never to meet.

-10 to Yasha/Nott. Nott initiates cuddles, but Yasha is uncomfortable.

+17 to Fjord/Caleb as Caleb tries his damned hardest to use his spellwork to protect Fjord—and failing. But it leads to Body Contact nonetheless, and a terribly sweet “sorry, big guy” which only means more with every NPC under the sun (looking at you, Soorna) continuing to poke at Fjord by calling him “small.” More Body Contact with Caleb switching over to Fjord as his chosen squeeze while looking through Frumpkin. As with Jester and the jellyfish, Fjord looking towards Caleb to check if he’s noticing him Being Cool with the three point landing (Do I spy +1 to Caleb/Fjord/Jester?) Fjord as always putting way too much stock in Caleb knowing everything, all “Caleb, think of every blue fabric you’ve ever seen” as he attempts to CSI the riftmaking device. Fjord also as always being Caleb’s #1 Magic Fan, going absolutely NUTS when Caleb polymorphs the giant, ruffling his hair and screaming “YOU BEAUTIFUL WIZARD BASTARD” and probably coming close to fucking breaking the wizards’ concentration in the process. Points taken away as Fjord realizes just how scary the turtle still is and how this horrible snapping thing may still cleave him in half. But at the rate Fjord is escalating the Magic Love, you just know eventually Caleb is going to cast a spell and Fjord is going to get so excited he kisses the wizard.

+5 to Caleb/Being a Trendsetter as comically exaggerated pronunciations of Eldritch bleeeeeeeeehst are now officially the standard for all members of the party.

+10 to Travis/Dice Superstition as he picks new dice after rolling ones, runs dice competitions to decide which is worthy to play with, and Very Superstitiously dreading a 666 of failed wisdom saves from Fjord, Beau, and Caleb.

+10 to Caduceus/Excitement. “There’s something in the pit.” His head lowers and his hands shake when he gets stressed, but bless him his voice is as calming and monotone as ever.

-100 to Fjord/That Spoopy Shit as he spends most of the battle screaming his (average sized, thank you) lungs out

+2 to Caleb/Cat Shaped Creatures at Cat’s Ire was finally allowed to do its killing work!

+20 to Jester/Beau as Jester gives Beau a 7 for the holy hell she causes with her punching! To which Beau gives a funny little bow. But most, most importantly, Jester noticing Beau staying up reading and worrying to death, giving her a massage and Body Contact to calm down and sleep #TheyAreMarried and fuck Travis/Fjord’s Attempted Cockblocking because that was the most transparently and extremely romantic moment in the entire goddamn episode. Points taken away for Jester saying Beau’s drawing looks “kind of shit.” Maybe now that she’s granted permission for Beau to draw dicks she’s concerned Beau will start infringing on her Territory as the resident artist.

-1 to Nott/Detective Work. She did find the riftmaking device, but unfortunately it was circumstance that brought her back to the Bone Pit, and not her Keen Detective Mind remembering at that moment to investigate the area as Soorna’s stated origin of the demons and a trash bin’s status as an Excellent Hiding Place. More points taken away for Destroying Evidence when she shot the device and scattered the liquid inside to be lost forever.+12 to Nott/Gunslinging though.

+1 to Fjord/Detective Work as he continues to bargain and push for important information about the way the world works and what is happening from the people he encounters—gaining Soorna’s story in exchange for their efforts. He didn’t gain information immediately relevant to the Case, but it is good Detective Practice nonetheless

+5 to Beau/Detective Work as she finds the scrap of fabric in the Riftmaking Device—a solid Clue! Genuinely looking for links between the riftmaking device and her own vestments, comparing notes, looking for the black liquid and brainstorming with Caleb over potential motivations for creating Abyssal rifts. Points taken away for misidentifying beds as sarcophagi, which sort of casts a pall over her detectiving skills. 

+20 to Beau/Nerdom for being more interested in explaining books and theorizing to Caleb than actually fighting. It is something when you can stand next to Caleb and make him look like a jock in comparison to your nerdy antics. Never change, Beau.

+6 to Caleb/Lethality as unfortunately he has murder on the brain so much that even when he’s not trying to make things deadly, he still manages to incinerate a poor innocent little goblin, barely skirt blowing up Caduceus, and morph what he meant to be a harmless turtle into a killing machine.

-2 to Caleb/Jester. Caleb is a fan of Jester’s smart idea with the Tiny Hut. But between accusations of criminality and Jester’s extreme distress over Caleb’s Goblin Roasting, ‘twas not the best week for these two.

+2 to Nott/Jester. Beau may have gotten a 7 for battle maneuvers, but Jester gives Nott 8 points!!! Nott cuddling with Jester at night, waking with her to reassure Yasha. There’s the sense Nott went out into the miserable rain maybe a little more to spend time with Jester than anything else.

+12 to Nott/Being a Team Player as she throws herself into harm’s way to defend Fjord from Caleb’s horribly botched polymorph! She is too small to be much defense but damn if she’s not going to try!

-3 to Nott/Fantasy Racism as despite her conflicted feelings over goblins she attempts to respectfully lay Caleb’s murder victim to rest. +10 to Caduceus/Cockblocking for undermining the moment by sticking the whole goddamn corpse in his bag so he can question it in the morning

+5 to Caleb/Kooky Comparisons as he compares farming the Beacon for Luck potions to getting eggs from the golden goose. Caleb thinks almost entirely in terms of fairy tales and farming/peasant idioms, and one of these days someone needs to collect all of the little oddball things he says.

+50 to Kord/Midwifery “STRUGGLE. PUSH. STRUGGLE. PUSH.” Rhythmic, firm, supportive but also tough, which is exactly the kind of midwife you want during your existential rebirth.

[stridingathinline]

Hi! Guess who!! Also, Sam Winchester bound to a table in the common area, legs spread and hole stretched. Dean and Cas come and go as they please, fucking(and filling) Sam and spanking him in equal measure. It only stops when Sam is an overstimulated mess.

Oh my GOODNESS Nonnie you’re trying to kill me aren’t you?! 

I can see this being a result of one of those times when the guys all decide that each of them will write down one of their deepest (but still doable) sexual fantasies and then the other two get to read it and figure out how they’re going to go about doing it for them... and this was Sam’s. 

It hadn’t been easy for him to write it all out. He’d started and stopped again about fifty times, re-written parts of it, re-worded others, almost changed his mind altogether. But this was to be all of their anniversary gifts to each other: Telling the absolute truth about a deep, sexual fantasy that the others would then carry out. (With the implicit understanding that no one would be ridiculed for whatever it was they wanted.) He hadn’t known what Dean’s and Cas’ had been yet either. They’d been planning on exchange them together. And this had been his. He’d known it would be a rough day. He’d known there would probably be times when he’d wonder if he shouldn’t have gone with something “safer”. But he’d known at his very core that this is what he’d longed for. He’d wanted his choices taken away, and to be used, over and over and over again, to be given pain over and over and over again, and to cum over and over and over again until there was nothing left, (and still be forced to cum dry if that’s what they chose.) 

And he had to say, now that he was in the midst of it, and Cas was rutting away at him while Dean contemplated the various instruments laid out on the table... he wouldn’t have changed a word of it. This was it. Even as his insides ached and the flesh of his ass and the backs of his legs felt on fire, he still wondered if he was in Heaven. Cas’ breathing became more labored as he sped up, and Sam’s groans raised in pitch as the angel started nailing his prostate mercilessly. 

“Please!” “Cas!” “Please!” Each word was punched out of him as the angel clutched his hips in a bruising grip and drove in harder. Sam didn’t even know what exactly he was begging for. Didn’t know if he wanted Cas to ease up or go harder. It didn’t matter though, because Cas would proceed however he wanted. That was part of the deal. Sam remained un-gagged and un-blind-folded, so they could hear all his sounds and he could see what they meant to do if they wanted him to, but no matter what he said (short of his safe-word) they would do whatever they wanted with him. 

Finally, Cas cried out and the lights flickered over them as the angel came, and Sam felt himself filled (again) with his lover’s release as well as washed in his Grace as it burst out of him at the same time. It always sent a shudder up Sam’s spine, but had such a different feel, a different flavor than Lucifer’s had ever had that it didn’t even bring back bad memories anymore. Castiel lay collapsed over Sam’s back for a little while, and the hunter sighed with contentment at the feel of his bare skin pressed into his own. He’d come too, his own triggered by the angel’s, and the lassitude it brought threatened to pull him towards sleep, despite being cuffed to the table still, and despite Cas’ cock still being firmly inside him. 

Speaking of... their angel tended to have an impressively short refractory period and even now Sam could feel him starting to firm up again inside him. A low groan escaped from his lungs as he contemplated another round so soon after, but at the same time part of him almost hungered for it. For that creeping edge of pleasure that seemed to cut like a blade it was so sharp. It would be too much. The overstimulation would cross the boarder into outright pain, but that was what he wanted ultimately. 

His brother’s movements caught his eye as his fingers brushed from one instrument to the other contemplatively. They’d made sure there would be a variety available. Sam had donated his own wide, oval, wooden hairbrush to the cause, and Dean had brought in a sturdy, wooden spoon from the kitchen. Cas’ belt for his dress slacks was there, slim and light and stingy as well as Dean’s heavier one which would easily raise welts and bruises. They also had a polished cedar paddle that Dean had picked-up in a cheap gift-shop somewhere, smirking at Sam the whole time, (it was only about half an inch thick and not too wide, but it covered more of his ass in a single, solid swing than any of the other implements.) Sam had some while ago found a sturdy, oak ruler in one of the desks there and had also brought it forth as an option, and before this had all begun, all three of them had gone outside and cut a good handful of switches of varying thicknesses. Now all of them were trimmed, peeled, and sitting in an elegant, cut-crystal vase they’d found in a storage room somewhere (not cursed! regular storage, Cas had checked) that was half-full of nice, warm water, keeping them fresh and flexible. And of course they were also both welcome to just use their hands, which they hadn’t hesitated to do. 

Between Dean and Cas all of the things had been used on him by now at least once, and some several times. Sam watched as Dean finally settled on one of the switches, pulling a slender, whippy-looking one out of the vase and wiping the base off with a hand-towel left there for that purpose. His brother, clad in nothing but his Dead-Guy-Robe and some slippers wandered back out of Sam’s line of sight, and he felt the slight movement as he nudged Castiel. “Hey man, either fish or cut bait.” 

He could almost picture the confused look on the angel’s face as he felt his head raise. “Why would I want to engage in either of those activities when we’re enjoying ourselves quite well here?” 

Sam couldn’t quite stifle the chuckle that rumbled up out of him and shook their angel a bit, for which he got an absent slap on his already sore ass-cheek. 

Dean though audibly sighed in exasperation.  "Come on, you know, either shit or get off the pot." 

“But I don’t-”

“CAS! Just, move it will ya?!” By this time Sam was full-on laughing. He couldn’t help it. But he could almost feel his brother’s attention being redirected to him, and he shivered a little as he heard him say in a dangerously cheerful voice, “Something funny?”

He tried shaking his head even as he felt Cas pushing himself back up, grumbling all the while about humans and their idioms while pulling out of Sam. 

He knew what was coming though, and wasn’t disappointed when the first stinging slice of the switch landed as soon as Cas was clear. Sam’s breath hitched as the lines of fire continued to rain down on his already blazing skin. “I’m sorry Dean...” he gasped out, but he knew it would do no good. It was hard to hold still for these as the stinging heat built up, and unlike the belt, one stroke landed so quickly after another that it was almost impossible to differentiate them. But again, that didn’t matter either. The padded cuffs on his wrists and ankles ensured that he couldn’t move far, no matter how much he might try. So he had no choice; no choice but to let it happen, to accept it and let the pain become part of him. 

Castiel, having decided that he was in fact, ready to go again, contemplated the situation for a moment before lighting on an idea. Sam was barely aware of him leaving the common room, before he’d returned again with a pillow. Still nude from before, the angel climbed up onto the table in front of Sam and raised his chin up gently. “Lift up Sam. As much as you can.”

His deep, gravely voice penetrated through the haze of pain that Sam was engulfed in, and he nodded a little, raising his torso as much as he could while Cas folded and then stuffed the pillow underneath his chest until Sam’s head was now raised up a bit from the surface of the table. It put more strain on his shoulders, but he could take it. He WOULD take it, take anything for them. While all this had been happening he’d continued to groan and whimper as Dean had continued his assault on Sam’s rear and legs, all the way down to his calves. 

“Ahh... perfect.” Sam opened his eyes, having not really realized that he’d closed them, and was met with the sight of Castiel’s cock just in front of his face, fully hard again. The angel was apparently kneeling as low as he could while still being able to move himself somewhat, and his intentions were more than clear. Needing no further prompting, Sam opened his mouth, welcoming the warm, firm flesh inside. 

Dean began hitting harder and the groan it pulled from Sam caused an answering one in Cas, the vibrations apparently feeling exquisite, and that caused the angel to push further in. Sam relaxed his throat and most of his mouth, just keeping his tongue pressed up against the shaft as Cas pushed himself down his throat. For a few moments Sam couldn’t breath as Cas bottomed out and held his place there, and the pain all along his back side was melding into one fiery blaze, and his lungs burned, and his arms and legs shook, and somehow without realizing it he’d climbed that hill towards his next orgasm and then plummeted right off, and he was cumming, and Castiel was now thrusting in and out of his throat, and now Dean had apparently dropped the switch and was shoving into Sam, and this was it... this was what he’d wanted, the peek he’d hoped he’d reach as every nerve in his body felt like it was firing and he didn’t even know anymore if it was with pleasure or pain or both, but it didn’t matter, because his entire existence narrowed down to this one moment as both of his lovers took their pleasure from him. 

The overstimulation from his prostate was like a super-nova going off with every thrust of Dean’s hips, and his shouts and cries were constantly muffled by Castiel’s cock shoving in and out of his mouth, and he wasn’t even sure what they were saying anymore, he just heard the sounds they made as they both sought their release. Sam found his, spurting weakly onto the towels left under the table just for that purpose, but still Dean kept fucking him, and he would have begged if he could have but no words could come out. He could pray though and use his safeword, but... but no. Even though he was SURE now that he couldn’t take anymore, he’d wanted to get here to where he HAD to. And as he surrendered to it, and another orgasm quickly started building he felt his limbs going limp and it was like he was drifting, observing all the feelings and sensations shooting through his body but not an active participant in any of it. 

Even when he came dry and the pain of it wracked his body, the moans, whines and twitches were more of an instinctual response than a conscious one. Finally, he felt his brother cumming in his ass almost at the same time that Cas emptied himself down Sam’s throat with yet another burst of Grace and Sam swallowed it all obediently. 

He didn’t know how much time passed after that (maybe just a few minutes, maybe longer) but he started to come back to himself as he felt Castiel gently running his fingers through Sam’s hair. The pillow had been rearranged so it wasn’t quite as high, not adding strain to his shoulders. Now it cushioned his chest and head a bit and Dean was softly laying kisses along his back and the back of his neck. He groaned when he felt the buckles on the cuffs being released and Dean caught him before he could fall to the ground. 

With both of them supporting him, they took him down to the shower room and the nice, deep tub there which was already drawn with hot water sprinkled with lavender, eucalyptus and rosemary. After easing him into it, they began gently washing and soothing him, and he let himself melt backwards, knowing he was safe, and cared for, and above all loved. 

(Okay Nonnie! I hope you like where I took this.  Thank you SO much for that lovely prompt! It was SO up my alley! And honestly, I have a few guesses as to who you could be, but I’m not completely certain. In either event, please enjoy!) Tagging the usual suspects: @fussysammy @sorryimnotthatkindofdoctor @writinginthesecrettrees @slut-for-jared @sparklingchampagnehookersammy @wincestismyguiltypleasure @ladylilithprime @lovedsammy

[milkcocoahkorean]

How do you keep your motivation? I started to learn Korean in January this year and sometimes it's hard to find the motivation to continue (I'm sorry if you've answered a similar question). Thank you so much for everything ♡

No worries^^ That’s a great question and a problem that plagues all language learners at some point! And thank you for the thank you! 

I’ve definitely felt overwhelmed by Korean and lacked motivation in the past. So, I feel you. Korean is also quite different from English, so that can make studying it really hard, especially if you’re not naturally talented when it comes to languages. But, really becoming engaged with Korean content has helped me keep up the motivation. 

I’ve also tried not to focus on “studying,” but on enjoying it. Sometimes, I felt really motivated to study. I would find 10 great sources and lots of material, but I just got overwhelmed. I couldn’t study any of it. At all. Just wasted hours of my time.

But, I could read Korean webtoons for hours. I read countless webtoons even before I could understand like half of what was happening. Or, I would talk to friends I met through language exchanges or write a diary. I even watched some guitar lessons in Korean and learned related words.Now, I also watch like Korean vloggers and stuff, but I didn’t know any back then. 

I was motivated by my engagement, and learning came very naturally as a result. But the moment I told myself, I have to study, I lost some of that motivation a bit. 

Which is why I try to keep my posts interesting with art or funny examples. I’ve been looking around youtube these days at the Korean lessons, and most of them are sooooo boring. Like it’s crazy. Korean can be so fun. The lessons don’t give it justice in my opinion. It really motivates me to make better and more engaging content to help other learners. I’m literally making the blog/content I wish existed when I started learning Korean haha. 

But honestly, I actually lost a lot of motivation to study earlier this year. I’ve been working full time, and I found my Korean slightly getting worse as a result, and it made me quite sad since I worked so hard to get here. Which is actually why I started this blog. I needed some motivation, and I absolutely love talking about Korean and explaining grammar and vocabulary and such things. 

I think we (language students in general) lose a lot of motivation to study partly because it can be overwhelming. There is this idea that “I have learn everything.” All the grammar, all the expressions, all the idioms, all the words. And really, that’s just not true. There are hundreds of Korean grammar points, but you really only need to master like 100 of them to start having great conversations. I think that trying to master grammar above upper-intermediate is largely a waste of time unless you want to take classes or work in a Korean company or something. Otherwise, master those 100 and learn the rest as you go. There are so many grammar points that you only need to know, but never need to use. There are also like “500 idioms you must know” books and stuff that are so overwhelming, and you only end up using like three of them. 

If you lose motivation because Korean is intimidating, don’t worry. There is nothing to be scared of. You don’t need to know 500 idioms and hundreds of grammar points to speak well. You can learn useful phrases as you go along. Phrases that people actually use. 

And study using the things you like. Studying is terrible, but learning is amazing. You’ll learn so much more if you’re engaged and enjoying it. If you’re losing motivation, sit back and think about the things you like. Then try to find Korean content that matches your interests.

I hope this helps you in any way. And I really hope you don’t give up Korean if you like it because learning it can be so rewarding in the long run! Let me know if there is any other ways I can help too~ I’m here to help you guys.^^

[40sandfabulousaf]

Hihi all except warmongers, 大家好! On Friday, I caught up with my very first boss over dinner. This year is a special one; it marked 2 decades since we worked together! To celebrate, I asked him to take me out for a candlelight dinner 😋 KP (his initials) is married and I know his wifey, so no biggie. He took me to Il Cielo, a Japanese fusion restaurant.

Gorgeous. On the left was the champagne he ordered for us. We had a great time taking sarcastic swipes at each other, all in the name of fun, of course. He irritated me, I complained to the wait staff who laughed at my expense, and vice versa. It was a delightful time, which the food made even more enjoyable.

The first was a trio of appetisers, burrata wrapped in prosciutto, topped with a wafer, mini wafer cones containing crab topped with ikura and foie gras macaroons which we injected with truffle oil.

The second was snapper topped with salsa, served with a frothy mint sauce.

The next was unagi topped with pasta al dente, as well as a mixture of caviar and ebiko, served on a wasabi-sauce coated plate. We swirled the pasta over the plate before eating.

Finally fish prepared in different ways - sashimi (easily the best), roasted on a leaf and panfried with crispy skin. There wasn't room for dessert; we were so stuffed! Now that new COVID-19 infections have decreased in our community, I feel safer venturing out from time to time. This coming week, I'll also catch up with Chris who was an ex colleague twice! Looking forward to that.

Onto geopolitical discussions from sources outside of western MSM. Forgiveness was touched on in this interesting exchange. However, one must consider this. It is only human to take a very long time to forgive, especially for civilians losing loved ones during war. Some may take their hatred to their graves and pass on the animosity to future generations. Can you blame them though, when the US invaded their countries under some flimsy pretext or another?

Before I go, just to address what is erroneously reported in several western MSM about President Xi's speech during the CPC's centenary celebrations. No, he doesn't intend to leave Westerners' skulls cracked and bleeding. 头破血流 is a Chinese idiom, which means 'resounding defeat'.

I learnt Mandarin for over 10 years during schooldays and am relearning it now. It's been over a year since I resumed studying it. This is how most who understand the language will interpret the speech, at least along these lines.

Any hostile foreign nations seeking to oppress or bully China will not succeed due to the iron will of 1.4 billion Chinese citizens (I'll add here, as well as many ethnic Chinese around the world), which, metaphorically, forms the steel wall. Anyone who attempts to subjugate China will meet with resounding defeat.

I nearly died from laughter when I watched several western MSMs reporting angrily about cracked, bleeding skulls. The twisting of the message is so bizarre, it's sad and funny at the same time. Go on and get riled, or get your people riled. Raise their stress and cortisol levels, damage their health and mental well-being. The rest of us are just very amused.

Or, if you're open-minded enough to want to understand China, coexist peacefully with Asia and get wealthier together, I hope this interpretation, which isn't simply a lousy literal translation of an otherwise very motivating speech for Chinese citizens, helps you.

Till the next time, 下次见!

[scriptgerman]

I sent in an ask about writing a native German character whose English isn't good. How do I make suitable errors in their dialogue? It's still relevant, thanks.

Hi there Nonnie!

I’m very sorry it took me so long. Okay, here goes. I’m not a linguist by any means, but these are things I’ve heard German people with bad English say/ do:

1) Translate sentences word by word. This can lead to a funky sentence structure and also, in the case of idioms and sayings to a lot of ??? all around. I’m aware that this option might not be easy/ doable for you, if you don’t speak German, but seriously, just put it through Google Translate or something.

2) Along the same lines as (1): vocabulary mistakes. You know these lists that sometimes go around (“Instead of X, why not use Y?”)? have fun with them and stuff like that. When we learn English, we get vocabulary lists, sure, but sometimes, there are words that just aren’t suited for the situation we use them in, ya dig me?

The first thing that comes to mind is (to) do vs (to) make, because in German we use the same word for both actions.

This can also lead to (grave) misunderstandings, because there’s words whose German translation is perfectly okay, but carry a racist/ sexist/ ableist/ … meaning that non-native speakers might not be aware off.

3) False Friends. These are lots of fun when learning a language that sometimes is so close to your native tongue. You can find lists of them online, very easily.

3b) Anglicisms: Words we use in German that everybody thinks are English (and often are derived from an English word), but do not mean the same thing  or even nothing in English. I’m not sure if there’s English articles about that phenomenon, but here’s a few examples:Handy - Mobile PhonePublic Viewing - watching a (eg. soccer) game together in a public space, often on a big canvas. mostly reserved for big events such as the World Championship, the Cup Finale etc.Basecap - Baseball cap (personally, I say baseball cap and have never heard basecap, but it sounds about right)Beamer - projectorjoggen - (to) runOldtimer - antique car (WHAT DO YOU MEAN; YOU DON’T SAY OLDTIMER)Showmaster - the person moderating/ running a showhometrainer - exercise bikezappen - (to) switch channels 

4) forgetting the -s when talking about he/she/it doing something eg. “He always get his drink here”

5) struggeling with the “th” sound. Many Germans tend towards more of a “s”- sound instead, but a friend of mine once just pronounced it like “f” and I nearly screamed in pain

5a) struggeling with pronunciation in general. What is wrong with “beer”, “beard”, “bear” & “bird”?? Germans generally tend to pronounce the “ea” like “ee”, I think. 

(Sidenote - Funny story from English class: Our teacher invited a Californian exchange student (from university, god knows how she knew him) to our class. At this point we’d had about 3 years worth of English classes and where supposed to talk to him. Our very first native speaker! Awesome! Please prepare questions! So one of my classmates goes: “Have you ever seen a beer in the wilderness?” - expectant silence from the class, confusion from the student, laughter from my teacher. “She meant bear. Have you ever seen a bear in the wilderness.” Since then I always think about a lone beer bottle perched on a fallen tree when talking about bears in English.)

And: Feel free to point put the accent in general, if someone else is observing the character. 

I hope this helps some!

AK

[taiweiland-blog]

Oh My General episode 12 recap

The emperor welcomes Eno (I believe that's the foreign prince's name) to the banquet. He tells the Emperor that he'll give a martial arts performance. Everyone is nervous because Eno comes quite close to the emperor with his weapon, but everyone manages to keep calm despite of it.

After the whole episode, Eno approaches Ye Zhao to give her toast, but Jin says he'll accept the toast on her behalf. (In the previous episode, Jin said that he doesn't want her to drink too much as she gets 'handsy' when she's drunk and thus cause him to lose face in front of the whole court! lol)

The two men exchange little barbs at each other while Ye Zhao watches on. Maybe because he had his manhood slighted by Eno, Jin asks Eno to have more drinks with him, saying it's tradition to have more than one. (As if!) The two exchange further barbs, which makes a minister quite nervous. Said minister comes over to douse some cold water over the heated exchange, saying that Prince Jin sure loves to crack jokes! He drags Eno away for a toast. Ye Zhao however was rather amused by it all (maybe cos Jin is being assertive). Prince Jin preens a little when Ye Zhao praises him, saying that he did really well.

Jin then tells YZ that he senses that Eno is a dangerous fellow, to which she replies: I trust your evaluation. (I'm sure she knows that though?) Jin tells her it's instinct. There's this cute scene where Jin stops YZ from drinking, only to drink himself, and she slyly sneaks in a drink.

Back home, Jin is totally passed out from all that liquor, however, and YZ can't help but take that opportunity to be "close" to her hubby. Hah! She's handsy even when she's not drunk - but can you blame her, really? And I think that conversation with Eno must have affected Jin a little bit more that he let on because he sits up in the middle of his sleep and declares, "I am a man! I demand to be on top!"

Poor dear.

YZ tells him, "Yes, yes, you're on top. Come, hold on to me." YZ is of course, totally taking advantage of it all, though Jin spoils it a wee bit by talking about a courtesan next and makes kissy faces.

Jin wakes up the next day without his clothes, with YZ at his side with some medicinal soup. Jin demands to know if she did anything to him. She says innocently, "Do I look like that kind of person?"

YZ is summoned for some court business, and when she leaves, Jin comments to himself: "I feel like a woman that has been ravished!" (I burst out laughing at this. Gawd.)

Jin is suspicious when one of the concubines hinted that he must have had a good night with YZ. He summons his manservant (I forgot his name) and demands to know what happened. The manservant tells him that he was really, really drunk last night and was vomiting and all, and YZ took care of him the whole night. Jin asks worriedly: "Did she do something outrageous to me?" (Actually he used the idiom, do something to "offend Heaven and reason", which I thought was doubly funny.) Cue the manservant's gobsmacked expression, to which Jin quickly says, "I mean, did I do anything untoward to her?" Manservant reassures him that he did not.

Jin's trio of good-for-nothing friends are amused to see him working out with weights later. They invite him to the go the pleasure house. There, Jin finds out to his annoyance that YZ is with Eno. He goes down to confront them and ends up listening to Eno belittling him.

"Tell me what are his good qualities? Perhaps I can learn." Eno demands.

YZ cuttingly says that he cannot "learn" Jin's good qualities.

Eno goes on to say that he heard that Jin is a man that hasn't done a day of honest/productive labour in his life and is stubborn and stupid by nature. He goes further to say that Jin must be a cute, adorable and obedient sheep at home. And why not? After all, YZ is a general.

YZ fiercely says: "No, he's not a sheep. He's an eagle."

Eno laughs out loud.  "An eagle? A cute eagle then!"

YZ scowls a little, saying that he may be a young eagle with down instead of feathers now, but he will soar to be a great man in the future. He is very smart, he never forgets what he reads from books. He's kind; although he has a high position, he will defend the poor who are bullied. He cares about the people around him, protecting them under his banner (not very sure about this part), he is chivalrous - he's not afraid of how powerful his opponent is. He is so positive a person - although he is often ill since childhood, has hovered between life and death, he has never given up - he has always been able to rise after a setback.

Jin is actually moved to tears by YZ's words about him. "Everyone thinks I'm a good-for-nothing bastard and a dandy, and yet she sees the potential in me. She believes I will soar."

(Sniff. Like Jin, I'm really moved by this scene too. I think this is when Jin sees his wife in a new light, don't you think?)

Jin goes to Master Lin’s  house to demand YZ's dagger back. (I think I must have missed something in the last few episodes. Jin must have replaced YZ's dagger with a fake one.) Lin wants his money but Jin grabs the knife from him - none too gently too. Lin ends up on the floor.

Jin goes to YZ's room and gives her the dagger and a new dress, telling her that he'll design her clothes in the future. (A fashion designer husband. I want one.)

 [[I'm a little unsure about the dagger biz; I originally thought that Lin master made a fake one for Jin to replace YZ's real dagger, but I need to rewatch the earlier episodes carefully to be sure - anyone care to fill in the gaps?]

The next day, our couple gets a shock when they're told that Master Lin has been found dead. The onlookers point to Jin, saying that they saw him arguing with the dead man last night. Jin and YZ  are summoned to the palace to explain themselves.

Thoughts

A funny episode, but also a revealing one. We see Jin’s pain beneath his playboy, flamboyant exterior. He’s gotten so used to people thinking the worst of him that he was very taken aback when YZ said such wonderful things about him. And YZ is right, of course. 

One quality I love about Prince Jin is how he mingles with the ordinary folk, and how he went out of his way to seek justice for the son of the restaurant owner (he eats lamb stew/soup there often). He didn’t have to, but he did it anyway. 

He’s also more intelligent than he lets on, like how he demonstrated with his skill with the dice in earlier episodes. (Jin, in order to seek justice for the restaurant owner’s son, goes to the gambling den that ensnared the boy and drains it dry with his mad gambling skills.)

Obviously, Jin could be a great man if only people let him. And it looks like YZ will be the one to help him soar like an eagle.

[exilevilifyrp]

                                          file: introduction

full name: theon wyndham age: 27 identifies with: the consolations of philosophy - max richter genesis: hybrid gender: cis-male (he/him) portrayal: dane dehaan 

                                                                        file: biography

2151 – Birth

Some people are sure to be disbelieving and say,

“But how can a computer possibly produce a great symphony, a great work of art, a great new scientific theory?”

The retort I am usually tempted to make to this question is,

“Can you?”

-          Isaac Asimov, Our Intelligent tools

2156 – Interest in robotics starts.

         It starts with a visit at a museum, a story about the ascension of technology in human history and a robot dinosaur. Lola Wyndham is not quite sure where the posters come from after that, but she suspects her husband. After all, he was known to spoil the little boy. They’re not so bad, she thinks. Better robots than those violent games, highly advertised on the vids. Still, the mother cannot quite remember the last time she saw her son socializing with other children or open one of those innocent little video games Granny gave him. She’s anxious. The only times they exchange words now are when she shows interest in the posters. Then words leave his mouth with excitement. The doctors had said that nothing was wrong with Theon, far from it actually. The young boy could speak and read at the age of three years old. A prodigy, they said.

         “Mother.” His voice is small and shy. Blue eyes, which he inherited, fall to the sweet features of his son’s face, attention now driven away from her work. A paper is placed in her hands and she closes the screen in front of her temporarily, setting her work aside in order to examine the gift she just received. A gasp escapes her lips and he frowns. Bringing her onto her legs, her long finger points at something on the drawing he just gave her. “Theon, dear. What does it mean?” It is with very simple words that her son explains the drawing. “It could help you walk.” A device to help her move around the house, since her legs do not work anymore. The drawing, if she could call it that, is not exactly the typical drawing usual five years old gave to their mothers with pride. It seems more like a blue print for a device, his small writing in the margins, arrows pointing from explanations to detailed pieces of the device. Lola’s heart cannot take it anymore and she kisses the top of his head softly. Five years old and Theon is already too aware of the world around him.

         A mother always worry. It is a curse and a blessing at the same time. Years pass and she keeps her eyes on her son. He is soft, and does not quite get why the other children cannot comprehend mechanics as well as he does. He is not unkind, though. He does not shout, or cry. He keeps to himself mostly, even from his own parents. Theon is well above his years. She thinks (she hopes) that he will let go of his obsession. Metal litters the floor of the room usually intended to be his bedroom. Now sleep evades him, a fickle companion. At least Arthur is not too mad when he trips over small inventions all over the house. Lola knows her husband would have preferred if his son would have taken interest in the arts or philosophy, like his father. They fear for him.

         Geniuses do not go unnoticed in Wrotham, especially from corporations.

2159 – First convention.  

         He is eight years old when he attends his first convention.

         The funny thing, he observes, is that the other attendees believe him to be another mindless child. They overlook him. It insults him a bit. He read already all of their research and he could find faults in almost all of them. It is worse when he is called on the stage, with the goal of presenting his new patent. Laughs erupt from the crowd when he realizes he is barely able to reach the microphone. His fingers drum against the desk in front of him. He tries to find Arthur and Lola in the crowd. Lola’s soft features always calmed his mind. But instead, his gaze falls on two weird characters, sitting in the back. Their clothes are different, more refined than the others. Wealth is exuded from their attitude, and Theon is fascinated. They are not laughing, he observes. He is glad.

         The crowd silences itself when he explains how using a different kind material for the IBA cell could improve efficiency by 15.8765%, thus permitting better hologram imaging and communication during certain situation, especially military ones. He rebuffs arguments with facts and calculations.

         Theon learns that adults are petty then. Words are thrown but his age is the only true obstacle to the veracity of his research. Arthur and Lola find him afterwards, Theon can see the worry on their face. How he hates it. They are not big fans of his experiments, even though they always show a positive front when he tried to explain them. He thinks, with regret, that perhaps they’re the same as the other adults. He loves them anyway. Will always do, of course. The young family is about to leave, Arthur navigating Lola through the crowd, in the hover chair Theon made her months ago. A featherlike touch on his shoulder makes him stop in his track and he turns. The two individuals he saw earlier are standing there, in front of him. Perfect skin, impeccable clothes. Arthur and Lola seem nervous at the sight of them. “Hello Mr. Wyndham, my name is Rachael. Here is my partner Rick. We work for Artificial Insights. We would like to discuss scholarships…”

         Theon later learns that Rachael and Rick are Synthetics. Humans with artificial and robotic limbs. In the car, where they explain him that they’re sending him to one of top robotic schools, Theon remarks how Rick is barely looking at him. It annoys him.    

2169 – Artificial Insights & Phase I: Synthetics process

         “We are delighted to offer you a position here at Artificial Insights, Mr. Wyndham. We hope our partnership will be long and fruitful.” Theon forces a small smile to appear on his face, the conventional response to this type of interaction. He would admit that working with machines most of the time did a lot for his social anxiety. Calculations and research do not argue or judge him. Androids did not have the mind to look at him, see only the bags under his eyes, his frail exterior. Androids did not care. Rachael smiles a little, quasi encouragingly. She knows him enough by now to know how uncomfortable he is. The show is for the people sitting on each of her sides. It is the first time Theon meets Rachael’s superiors. Serious men and women, barely looking up at the file in front of them. They tell him they are impressed by his curriculum. Top graduate from all his schools. He is a good return on investment. The sentence irritates Theon.  His fingers drum on the table, nervously. They think of him as a thing, expendable. Theon is now eighteen years old, and will probably become the youngest employee of the company. Numerous research of his are being published and applied already. It resonates in his head; an unwanted conundrum.

         “In this mindset,” Rachael’s voice shatters the train of thought, forces him to raise his eyes to look at them, “you will find all the details regarding the process for Synthetic transformation. You have to understand that we invested highly in you, and we would like our partnership to last.” Again, with the financial idioms. The woman in front of him continues to talk about the specifics but Theon’s blue hues are already reading the material in front of him. Excitement runs through his veins. He remembers the offer he made them, some years ago. Even with the scholarship that brought him where he was, a mind like his would be highly useful to any other corporations. His mind is the only thing that is not replaceable. He needs to protect it.

         Synthetic transformation in exchange of an 80 years work contract. His signature is barely readable on the documents, hand shaking with apprehension.  

2173.0 – Death of Parents in Riots

         Arthur and Lola Wyndham are only two more names among others in the already long list of victims from the 2173 riots in Krenel. The irony of their death does not go unnoticed. They are becoming more and more numerous, the protests against the rise of technology, against robots and androids.

         His hands won’t stop shaking as he listens to the man in front of him. The feeling resemble flying – no, more like falling. Theon inherits the house and becomes familiar with a new emotion, guilt. It envelops him and settles in his heart, heavy. Will it become his new home, he ponders.

         Grief. It is ugly.

         He should’ve called more. Should have listened to his mother pleas ‘come back home for once’. Should’ve done something. Anything. He hadn’t been a very good son. School had started and then work, both intertwined with an endless series of conventions. He was a rising star in robotics engineering, most efficient and useful engineer for Artificial Insights. But all of this, the title and the money, did not keep his parents from dying. Theon inherits the house and transforms it into a lab. With Rachael’s consent, he takes a few days off. Then his mind goes back to what it does best: work. At this point, Theon knows it is a defense mechanism. Some would drink their feelings away. He prefers being useful. Whenever he feels anxious or sad, he plunges nose first into endless calculations, experiments and research. He shuts more people off, mostly because they are distracting.

2173.5 – Theon meets Eliot

         Theon grows bored of the conventions after that. Arthur and Lola are not there anymore, anxiously waiting for their son to speak. Offering him small smiles in the crowd to encourage him. They are gone and he feels lost. Days look all the same to him. Work. Eat. Sleep. Repeat. His heart is not in the research, these days. Sleep evades him once more, and his patience thins with each seconds that pass. Only the sound of the assembling machines calms his mind. Sometimes, he goes down, in the lowest levels of his building. He likes to watch them waking up, the androids. They’re not really alive, he knows that. But Theon appreciates the symbolism – starting new, a mind virgin of emotions and feelings. On the opposite side, he feels just like them. A simple cog in a bigger machine. He’s an investment, after all. Just like them.

         Work. Eat. Sleep. Repeat.

         “I’m sorry, I didn’t want to interrupt your presentation.” Theon lifts his eyes from his scientific journal, wonders who dared approach him in public. His colleagues usually stir away from him. After all, he is far from being an expert at conversations. The engineer recognizes the features of the man before him. The presentation had gone to hell, voice faltering when a participant decided to interfere. The problem wasn’t the interruption, actually. It was the fact that Theon never saw it. His mistake. He’s caught off guard by it and his mind obsesses over it as soon as the stage leaves his sight. Miscalculation, or simple Brows knit, he tilts his head. “Then why did you do it?” The question burns his tongue as the words leave his mouth. A chuckle escapes the other man’s lips and the sound shakes Theon to his core. He straightens up in his seat as the other man takes place on the empty chair in front of him. “Alright, alright. You got me. Would you look over the data, though? I really want your opinion on this.”

         He grabs the tablet from the other’s hand, their fingers brushing.

         Theon feels alive again. Even more so as Eliot’s lips, months later, become a recurrent light, fleeting touch.

2175 – 2175 Massacre

         Wind blows slowly through the opened windows. The silence is heavy in the darkness. The city stops moving for a millisecond. It holds its breath as the fire eats the void above their heads. Music can be heard in the background, faintly. A whisper murmured to the crowd. Its name is Destruction. It’s a glitch, he thinks. The sirens are crying in the night. This is just a simple, easily reparable mistake in calculations.

         He’ll wake up the next morning, and Eliot will be there. In his arms. Already awake, fully functional. He will kiss Theon, softly, tenderly. Run a hand in his hair. A whisper ‘wake up my love’ will flee in the air, will lose itself in the seemingly stopped time. Coffee will burn his tongue and Duke Ellington will play in the background. A normal morning. Theon will listen to the drunken stories of one of his colleague at work, might even try a small smile to show his appreciation for the tale. Eliot will go back to his research and come back after a hard day at work, head full of ideas and optimism.

         It’s only a glitch, Theon thinks. An irregularity in the system. He can repair it. He’s good at this. His eyes fixes the vids as red and bloodied crescents mark the fair skin of his forearm. Eliot is not there the next morning. Only Death kisses him back, brings him news of destruction and despair. For the second time in his life, he wonders ‘why not me?’

         Eliot dies in the riots, his mind forever lost.

2176 to 2177 – Data’s creation & Depression

A robot may not injure a human being or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm.

A robot must obey the orders given it by human beings except where such orders would conflict with the First Law.

A robot must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Laws.

-          The Three Laws, from the Handbook of Robotics, 56th Edition, 2058 A.D.

“According to the data–”

“Oh, please Eli. Stop with your data already. Everything is going to be fine. I did the calculations myself.”

“One, you’re not infallible and second, the dat–”

“You’re not him!”

         Data does not flinch at Theon’s raised voice, because Data is not human. An android, a perfect and flawless android. Top of his category, because he doesn’t fit in the usual categories. He’s made from scratch, from stolen equipment from his old job. All of Eliot’s research is incorporated in the main matrix. Data can learn. And speak. And asks questions.

         Theon knows he can get arrested. Company property theft, uncatalogued Artificial Intelligence. Non-tested research. Utilisation of rare materials for personal purposes. The list gets longer each times he thinks about it.

         The android looks like him, talks like him, smile like him. But he is not him. Data barely moves when his creator strikes him. Control is not something he has much, these days. The alcohol burns his tongue coming in and coming out. How inefficient. Theon hates himself with such fervor then. Especially as Data holds him there, on the floor, ignoring his creator trying to wrestle his way out of the robotic grip. Theon wakes as Data presses a damp cloth on his forehead. The engineer had never been so embarrassed of his own actions than now.

         Where is the line between genius and madness? When does one falls so deep into a pit of despair, he cannot see the way out anymore?

         Theon is crying as he erases this memory from Data’s core the next day. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry…”

                                                                      file: known associates

NOOMI WEXLER - though wexler corporation was a mere enigma to most, you had uncovered the truth many moons prior. perhaps maintaining it as the unknown would make a far wiser idea, but curiosity would soon unravel a mass of torturous activities and an unwanted truth - actions so cruelly human. it’s a secret you have long since kept, but you wonder how long one can remain silent when another experiment has now appeared.

                                                                  THIS CHARACTER IS UNAVAILABLE.

[graphicnerdity]

Overused Phrases That Should Just Fucking Die Already Power Rankings

The world is full of canned phrases, perfect for those times when you don't feel like carrying on a meaningful conversation. Just toss out some commonly accepted idioms, wait for the other dead-eyed person to return a couple of their own, and move on. Some bullshit phrases every now and again are absolutely necessary, but these ones have lost all meaning and just deserve to die. Let’s count ‘em down.

5. “Fancy seeing you here!”

Why It Needs To Die

This is the pre-packaged response for when you randomly bump in to someone you know in public. If you’re anything like me, you are in most cases woefully underprepared for these encounters. So your brain pulls some dialogue from your internal stock library and out comes “fancy seeing you here.” This process uses up fewer mental resources and prevents you from blurting out things like, “oh fuck, now I’ve got to make small talk!”

There’s nothing fancy about it; You happened upon another human you’ve met before. If anything, it is a cruel twist of fate that has jarred you out of your natural rhythm and into a strained conversation with a person who you didn’t like enough to make plans with, despite the fact that you’re going to the same goddamn place at the exact same time. Let’s stop bigging it up. 

Suitable Replacements

"Oh fuck, now I’ve got to make small talk!” Why not? Toss in a cheeky grin and the person might appreciate your candor and/or unusual sense of humour. Heck, if you say it with a straight face they might even take the hint.

“Hello person I know! Let us exchange brief pleasantries and part ways!”

4. “I need [something] yesterday!”

Why It Needs To Die

I’ll admit I’m being a little nitpicky here. On a Venn Diagram, this one would appear in the overlap between “stupid office expressions” and “things that people in their 50′s say.″ As it so happens, I spend my workday surrounded by Boomers and that’s as specific as I’d like to be.

While I don’t hear this clunker very often, I’m thrown into an irrational fury when I do. Irrational in that I try to explain the general concept of time travel to the person, accuse them of sounding ridiculous, then become furious when they fail to grasp my logic. And once they’re out of earshot I grumble to myself about how humanity would probably just waste time travel on menial office work anyway.

I think I effectively summed it up a few years back with some crude imagery and a little Doctor Who copyright infringement.

Suitable Replacements

Fuck that. We don’t need any more office buzz words. 

3. “Breakfast of Champions”

Why It Needs To Die

Back in the 1930′s, Wheaties cereal was branded as the “breakfast of champions.” Since then, the term has been broadened to refer to any kind of meal, of any size, eaten by anyone, at any point in the morning, regardless of – or in direct reference to – the meal’s suitability as an actual breakfast. In other words, it doesn’t matter what you’re eating anymore.  

Now there was a time when this line was used as be an ironic jab at someone eating an inadequate breakfast. For example:

Me: Hey there, what are you eating? Coworker: A granola bar I found under my car seat. Me: Oh, breakfast of champions!

Not terribly inventive and a little lazy but it serves a purpose. Maybe it’s even a little funny if you haven’t had a decent laugh in a while. Then again, if your coworker’s breakfast consists of found food, they shouldn’t be made to feel worse about their life choices than they already do. So yes, in that regard I’m kind of a dick for saying it.

But it’s those times when you could answer literally anything, and still be met with that same stupid response, that is truly infuriating.

Coworker: Hey there, what are you eating? Me: Just some oatmeal and a banana. Coworker: Oh, breakfast of champions!

Okay. What sort of statement is being made? Am I supposed to take that as a playful dig on my lack of originality or a compliment on a somewhat decent meal? But really, the only commentary being made here is, “I’m seeing you eating and I don’t know what else to say.” This expression has become devoid of meaning, so let’s just agree to let it die. It doesn’t yield a strong return on investment to justify keeping it around. At best, you’re a marginally clever dick. At worst, you’re willfully contributing to the downfall of the English language. 

Suitable Replacements

“It looks like you’re eating, so I’m going to leave you alone.”

Mind your own goddamn business about what people put in their bodies, maybe?

2. “Opa!”

Why It Needs To Die

You’re out at a restaurant and enjoying a nice meal when you hear the sound of a glass breaking. You tense up, dreading what comes next. The volume of the room lowers ever so slightly, as people begin to clue in. For one brief, glorious moment, you think you’ll be spared. But then, cutting through the din of the room, comes the inevitable outburst of some attention-starved patron: Opa! 

Fuck!

To those of you who jump at the chance to use this expression, I get it, really. For an instant you get to bask in the glory of being a standup comedian. You get to demonstrate your perfect comedic timing and elicit laughter from a group of strangers by using just one silly word. You feel awesome, probably (I wouldn’t know, I’ve never made anyone laugh). Except you’re less of a comedian and more like a Pavlovian dog that responds to shattering dinnerware. You said the thing that people usually say, and you’re about the millionth person to have done so since last Tuesday. So maybe just leave this one out of your repertoire. Or better still, leave the comedy to the professionals. 

Suitable Replacement

This:

The second you hear glass shatter, before those Opa fuckers have a chance to pipe up, bust into a rendition of this. Mimicking the screeching electric guitar of Stone Cold Steve Austin’s entrance theme is still pretty obnoxious, but at least it doesn’t make you want to impale your eardrums with a butter knife. 

1. “It is what it is.”

Why It Needs To Die

Sometimes you find yourself in the position where you have absolutely nothing to contribute to the conversation. And that’s okay. When a conversation moves towards cars or the housing market, I absently nod my head and begin mentally sorting Game of Thrones characters into their likeliest Hogwarts Houses (if you don’t have Ser Barristan Selmy in Hufflepuff then what I don’t know what the hell you have been watching). The point is, realizing your uselessness is key.

You see, when you respond with this godawful phrase, you’re really just saying, “I have nothing relevant to say, but I’d like you to think I’m making an observation.” This bullshit statement pretty much always gets a pass. People will just nod in response, letting you walk away without any consequences. Well, I’m not other people. I’m an irritable man with a Tumblr blog and I’m holding you accountable for your bullshit. 

Hey you. Person who occasionally says “it is what it is.” You’re not shit, but sometimes your word choices are. DO BETTER.

As a statement of exasperation or futility, “fuck it” works a lot better. Cussing is funnier anyway. Also, don’t just mechanically recite it as a means of ending the conversation. Say or do anything else. Silently nod then disengage. Pretend to doff your cap and say “good day.” Shout “smoke bomb!” then bolt out of the room. Anything you can think of. Anything that doesn’t equate to “that thing is that thing, ho-hum.”

When you can swap out a phrase with absolutely nothing and have it convey the same meaning, that phrase is absolutely fucking worthless. 

Suitable Replacements

Anything else.

Total fucking silence.