#i know it works but i've just been so lazy
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Will you share your theory on what you think is happening behind the scenes of 911?
Hi, Nonnie!
Sure! As long as everyone is aware this is purely speculation, and nothing I say should be taken as proof of anything, I have no problem.
I've gone over a few things in my head, to be honest. I thought that JLH having filming conflicts could've been a major factor, and I still don't exactly disagree with that initial idea, but overall I think it was one of the things that threw TM for a loop.
Now, I've seen a lot of people theorize that perhaps Angela is leaving and that is what is causing so much chaos in BTS, but I am on the fence about this. I do think she might've asked to not have such a big role moving forward, especially if they get a season 9 (which I am also on the fence about ngl), like perhaps retiring, or just having a more laidback position training new recruits. The seeds are planted for that, not so much for her fully leaving. And it would give Angela more free time to dedicate to other projects (which, yes please. I need her in new projects ASAP).
So... (and please don't kill me for this, it's just a theory).
I think it all comes back to Ryan. And that he perhaps is leaving, or actively wants to leave. I will try to explain myself as concise as possible:
A couple of months ago there was already speculation about this. In all of his individual interviews (which were a lot, to be honest), Ryan made a point of talking about his work beyond 911 and talking about what he would like to do after 911.
On top of the individual promo, there was an uncharacteristically high amount of BTS dedicated to him and the godforsaken mustache. To the point where they threw a mustache party. And in the pics of that party, the vibes were that it was a party for Ryan, not in general.
Small thing, but Josh randomly dressing up as Eddie for Halloween. Perhaps unrelated, but I wanted to add it.
The 911 account reposting and celebrating Ryan's 100th ep, when 1. it wasn't his 100th (if we count the eps he was actually in) and 2. it was also JLH's, and yet they didn't say a thing about it. Ryan reposted that as well and the message he reposted it with was more nostalgic than anything else. Very much giving 'it was an honor to work with you, what a journey'.
I could be wrong, but I do think his contract ends this season. So, that just adds to it.
The timeline of the move to Texas. By the reactions alone I was fully expecting Eddie to leave for Texas at the end of 808, and then to be back with Chris (in a lazy way of solving their conflict off-screen) by 809-810. But the way he's currently thinking about it makes it very sus for me. As in, it can be a thing for the end of the season, and an actual goodbye for Eddie.
Of course, nothing of this has to actually happen, and it's quite possible it just exists in my brain. But this makes sense in my funny brain because then it explains why BT had to break up so soon... because they wanted Buck to feel completely isolated.
We know 809-10 will deal with Maddie being kidnapped. That alone will make Buck spiral. But if on top of that his best friend is also leaving... well, being alone just adds to the isolation and the angst. Because if Tommy was still around he'd be able to lean on him, and have him help him through this. But it seems like the writers wanted Buck fully alone for this, because sure, seeing a character never learning and being completely isolated is so much fun.
If this ends with BT getting back together, I honestly don't know. It wouldn't surprise me if Tim doesn't know. But, all in all, I wouldn't be surprised if RG deciding he's done is the thing that kinda created the domino effect.
(Also: I do not believe Oliver was telling Tim to fire Lou and end BT. Sorry. I just don't really see it. Nor do I think there were actual conflicts between actors BTS, as much as everything they're doing right now does feel a bit weird)
Anyway, thanks for letting me rant, Nonnie! My inbox is always open for ranting, venting, or discussing
Take care <3
#911 discourse#911 spec#911 cast#bucktommy#tevan#anti buddie#not really but i don't want them here#i especially do NOT want them in this post#so im not even gonna tag ryan#anon ❣️
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So, you might remember I started fixing my abandoned garden, and I said I was going to do it in small increments, and then I never said anything about it again. This is because, after I started doing it, suddenly the temperatures dropped below zero, and we had frost! This is appropriate in November, but it was so sudden I didn't expect it. I hadn't even planted garlic yet! And now it was too cold to work the soil. Oopsie.
However this morning I woke up, opened the window, and realized the southern wind was blowing, which means it got super warm! I immediately dressed up, grabbed my garlic, and went to the garden. I couldn't plant my garlic in the area I had already cleaned, because it's the outer area of the garden, and garlic is the #1 crop that gets stolen, so I have to plant it sneakily behind other things, invisible to prying eyes. That means I'd have to clear off another area. Here's what I'm dealing with today!
I know this looks like such a flop but honestly, this is so good for nature. All of the plants have lived their life cycle, housed little bugs and insects, produced flowers for the bees, and then got obliterated by the frost, as it should be. If I just left them be, they would slowly decompose into the soil and make it more fertile. It looks chaotic but nothing bad is going on here! I am going to make space now because there are some regulations for how community gardens should look like, and if one looks abandoned for too long, it gets taken away. I'm off to work :)
I've been working on this for 20 minutes and I found some produce in here!
I'm shocked there's a whole zucchini in there, even after the frost, I've never seen that. She's a bit of a weird texture, because she's gotten frozen, but otherwise looks good! Certainly the slugs love it. I also found a little potato plant, there could be potatoes underneath her. And in the third picture, I'm holding young garlic! I usually find this in the spring, it's interesting it's already so big, I love that.
Another little task I had planned was to find basil seeds; basil will usually grow flowers when it's allowed to grow naturally, and then the flowers create little seed packets inside of them, and after those get nice and dried up, they're ready to harvest. Here's how it looks like:
If I rubbed all those little pods together, I would be able to find tiny black-brown seeds in there! I used to do that before, extract all of the tiny seeds and store them, but later I got lazy and figured I can just save this entire mess and plant it and basil still germinates just the same.
An hour of work later, I have dug out a giant lemon balm plant out of the soil, because it was taking up too much space (no worries about her, she'll grow back in no time, they're immortal), and took out most of the grass, dead plants, and weeds. Here is the cleared garden!
I've freed two small kale plants that could still thrive during the winter, and there's a few brassicas that look willing to go to seed, which would be great for me to have more seeds from them. Now I can finally focus on the task I've come here for; to plant my garlic.
I made little holes with my spoon, and grabbed two biggest heads of garlic to plant the cloves. I'm not too fussed about it, as long as the bulbs are underground, you can't stop them from growing. If they're not in too deep, then it's easier to pull them out later! And my soil is more fertile on the surface as well. Usually during the winter, little rodends will dig a few of these out, to see if they're delicious, but when they realize it's not yummy, they just leave the bulbs on the top of soil. So I have to check on them a few times to make sure I plant them back! And they're so forgiving and strong, they just go right back to growing, bulbs are incredible.
I counted the garlic here, and there's 22 cloves, which should give me 22 heads of garlic in the late spring/early summer. I couldn't take any more pictures, because my hands were too muddy, but I planted additional two rows in a different location (in case thiefs find one location), and then I also had some of the 'spring garlic', which is a late variety, meaning it grows later, but lasts longer. Usually normal garlic will start sprouting in december, after which point it starts getting inedible, but late-variety garlic will stay fresh until spring. Planting garlic is so easy! The entire venture took me 15 minutes, and you could do this anywhere, and would be guaranteed some heads of garlic.
So watching these pictures you might think 'there's still so much weeds in here, you did not clear this off' and you're correct, I don't clear everything off! This is because I employ a different tactics in stopping weeds from growing; usually during the winter, I will cover the ground in a thick layer of dry leaves, so that light won't reach any of those weeds, and they stop growing just due to lack of sunlight. I'm not doing it this year because of one particular reason, and this reason is slugs. If I cover the ground in leaves now, they won't only protect it from the light, but also protect it from the cold. They'll prevent the ground from freezing as badly as it would usually freeze. And usually I love doing that, but this time, there are so many slugs in the ground that I want cold to eliminate. I'm going to leave my garden like this, and hope that we have an exceptionally cold winter and that slugs get deleted.
I planned to make a lentil soup today for lunch, so I'm grabbing some chives, and some kale to add to it! Kale is still thriving, and I'll be able to harvest it all winter. At this point I've been working for two hours and my pain started acting up, so I figured it was enough for today, and headed home. Here's all the stuff I brought home for lunch!
Zucchini, kale, potatoes, chives, young garlic. All great additions for my lentil soup! I love being able to get fresh food in November. The soup turned out amazing, I love lentils with potatoes and kale and garlic.
#garden update#fall garden#clearing the garden#fixing abandoned garden#planting garlic#garlic bulbs#finding produce in abandoned garden#kale#chives#basil#seed collection#i'm drying chives for spice btw
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finally made a derm appointment. it's a month out but im excited :)
#literally know how they'll treat it but i still need a prescription#they put me on doxycycline and metronidazole#i know it works but i've just been so lazy#but my rosacea is not getting better so
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i miss them a little if im gonna be honest
#mp100#mob psycho 100#kageyama shigeo#kageyama ritsu#hanazawa teruki#tome kurata#tsubomi takane#shou suzuki#deliart#i meant for the image to be like. after the end but i also didnt think about the hairstyle changes. sorry......#also i know i was like shou 100% has dwarf hamsters since he got 2 but u know what i dont care. golden hamster stan for life#im planning on getting one i've been checking out breeders near me so i can get a proper healthy one. there are so many good ones here too#i already am thinking on what color im gonna go for..getting picky even. something like offwhite.. silver pearl.. silver dove.. silver mink#jurys still out on wether im gonna get another female or not#i do love how big ladies get and their intense energy and work ethic. truly the most passionate creatures i've ever come across. inspiring.#but a lazy fluffy guy that just sits around and washes his balls all day does seem easier. less likely to climb my curtains.#i got distracted i love hamsters so much. look at my mop drawing now everyone
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I remember you're genocides 🫵
( do you even remember who moqi is ... hai its me )
now answering to your question.. no sorry i can't remember someone called like that-
(read tags pls)
#i know this thing happens in another scenario#i just remembered watching a video not too long ago where sans says this just here and#well i started drawing blah blah blah until i realized i was wrong all along#i was too lazy to redraw everything that's all#btw sorry for abscense it has been almost three days i think??#i've been trying to draw and stuff but things didn't come out as i wanted and i started to get frustrated#(and i wasn't reblogging anything as well bc i don't wat to fill my profile with reblogs)#this you're all seeing here came out unintentionally and i liked it#although it's a bit too much detailed for something as *unserious* as this ask#but i'm fine with it#i've got two more asks that could work as drawings or mini comics#i'll try to post them asap but i ain't promising anything#cuz mentally i'm kinda unstable my sleep schedule is killing me#so yeah! that's it#undertale#sans#fluffy asks#bunnyoverdose
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Waddle waddle.. 🦆
#ts4#sims 4#where's he goinnn#gif warning#hi hello#feeling a lil better now#i think..#me and mr husband have been playing wow classic hardcore so that was a nice distraction#realised i kinda got too far ahead of myself with screenies n such which is pissing me off lol#cos like.. there's a chunk in the middle i gotta figure out before i can continue n i hate it when that happens#but i'm just gonna forge ahead cos i wanna wrap up this lil setting up arc i've been kinda doing#this probs makes no sense cos u don't know what's in my head but sksjdks#u kno how it be#slow posting for a while maybe#got a week off this week so i'm being lazy/working in the garden#✌
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One time in eighth grade my civics teacher said "you become good at the thing you do every day" and I've never been the same since.
#i am currently forcing myself to pick up a brush and continue painting because i want to be good at art so desperately#and also i need to finish this lorax box that i've been on and off working on#it's not great but i like it :)#i have little truffula trees on the sides and the top had a butterfly cut out already so the wings will be the shades of my truffulas !!!!#and uhhh the bottom is a very loose and lazy version of the 1972 lorax title card thing#you know the orange and yellow one#it's just circles#what do you call it#a bullseye?#yeah#it's just a yellow and tan/orange bullseye thing with the thing that says “the lorax” and i also wrote “think thneed” for good measure#can i tag this as inspirational?#i'm going to#everyone watch this#inspirational#quotes#inspirational quotes#words#i hope everyone likes this one#anyways do what you want to be good at i suppose
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I. Did not achieve a lot today (understandable considering the circumstances), but. You need to See.
The SADDEST. SOGGIEST. Sharena I have EVER drawn.
Also maybe a little snippet as a treat...
You'll have to fight my messy roughs and handwriting for it though 😤😤😤
#wip#i think. maybe i can just allow myself to relax. ease up on the intense paranoia that plagues me.#mostly because i want to make things painful. actually.#not just bittersweet. so sweet it fucking hurts. it aches and aches and aches and aches. ect.#i actually don't have a lot of faith in my ability to finish this one. firstly i wanted to just do one page#but after all my practice i've gotten a p good feel for pacing. and this feels like it's a two-pager#and i Know. i know. the fucking. lvl 40 convo comic.... i KNOW.#but also. just in general. some things are just so agonizing. to try and yank out of me.#so L + ratio + more work than i bargained for + owuch. ouugh. ow. ouch. owie. owww....#last bit of context is this takes place shortly after zacharias' disappearance.#although i'm actually not sure how i want to go about that. if i wanna see if i can show it in the comic itself#like all i'd need really is one flashback panel just showing the immediate aftermath of 'where is zacharias?' after battle#or if i'd imply it through the text or if straight up. i just say it in the caption. honestly entirely depends#well i was gonna joke depends on how lazy i feel but more like. i think it's more parsing out where my focus Should be.#all of this is granting that i can. fucking. even get to a proper rough draft. i'm not hopeful.#but do you see my visions...... maybe....#esp them falling back on each other HARD. doing something that maybe both swore to 'grow out of'#in the wake of an extremely disorienting and traumatic event. that hits each of them uniquely hard.#and through the growing pains you see. oh. this is how they grew up. this is how they've always been.#when. they could be.#my art
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A fun anecdote about Aune's name —
So, I've had this note on my phone for YEARS that is just a list of names that I enjoy that sound at least vaguely appropriate for a fantasy setting. I pick from it whenever I'm playing a video game and need a name for my character. The name Aune had long lived on this list, but I had yet to use it.
Before I even got my hands on the EA version of the game, I already knew I wanted to play a half-Drow Cleric of Eilistraee. Though I didn't know that I'd be multiclassing her as a bard yet in the full release, I was at least RPing that she was a dancer and musician, as per the Sword-Dancer tradition. I came up with the bones of her backstory — that a tragic and mysterious event that occurred at the time of her birth gave her a unique understanding & intimacy with the forces of life and death, and as such, ending up as a Life Domain cleric felt right to her. This seesawing between two opposing forces would be symbolic of her journey in understanding her own morality and concept of self. (Also, from a meta standpoint, this backstory gave me the space to change my mind and class as a necromancer while still keeping the same character, because I just really love necromancers.)
I also already knew that she would live some time as a slave, as she'd be born to a parent with a decent social status in Lolthite society (so raising a half-elf would be unthinkable). And of course this would play into her personal connection to Eilistraee.
Well, some time passed after that, and it occurred to me that maybe Aune wasn't an appropriate name for a Drow. Obviously at the end of the day it doesn't really matter, but these sorts of things have a way of bothering me until I can't function anymore lmao so I decided to look up a naming resource. I found a detailed list of prefixes and suffixes in the Drow language, along with associated meanings, allowing you to build a name that's suitable.
WELLLLL imagine my surprise when I found:
Prefix Aun—, meaning: crypt, dead, deathly, death Suffix —aun, meaning: dance, dancer, life, player *Suffix —e, meaning: servant, slave, vassal
yeah. I was honestly a bit scared lol
but if I had been toying with the idea of playing a different Tav, that discovery IMMEDIATELY put the idea out of my head.
Aune was ~ meant to be ~
*Oh, and in case anyone was wondering, Aune's given name was Aun, but the —e was added on when she was first sold as a slave. In present time, she refuses to drop the letter; she prefers to keep it as a reminder of what she endured and how it has shaped the person she has become.
another fun little detail is that the Aun— is the feminine version of this prefix, and —aun is the masculine of the suffix. I was happy about it turning out that way because Aune is agender
#I've been meaning to share this for ages but I was just too lazy to type it up lol#but I needed to get it done because it's the most special thing and is just one of the many reasons why I love her so much#technically she could have been named Aunaun but I wasn't about to do that to her lmfao#oc: aune#oc: durge!aune#also originally I didn't know I'd be creating a durge version of aune but that ended up working so well too! one side moves towards life#the other towards death etc.
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i hate hating everything i create
#honestly i was fine with where my skills were at for a while#but all it takes is one bad day for my mind to decide it's not good enough anymore#i have to keep getting better. i have to keep aiming higher#i KNOW i can keep improving. ive already done it so much this year#i know im capable of better than this. i've gotten lazy#once work releases me from hell im dedicating the next few weeks to nothing but fundamental studies#i need to keep getting better. i can't stand looking at where im at right now#might. delete later ive just been so frustrated w myself today#skip speaks
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i NEED to get back into writing but it's so hard and im being so brave about it😭
#i have so many tabs open i keep changing my mind about what i should write#ive just been fucking around on my laptop for like an hour idk what im doing#at first i was like well i could just warm up with some random prompts. but then i was like thats not motivating enough rn#so i was like okay i'll work on memory wip. but i don't have an outline and i've only written a little bit of the first draft#so i don't know what's going to happen which means i'd have to Think. and also read through my notes bc i don't remember what i've decided#abt the characters and worldbuilding#but like. i just cant be bothered to do that😭#so you see the issue is laziness#i guess i should just use a simple prompt at first even tho i dont feel like it just to get over the hurdle#at least i'll have written something....#speaking it into existence I CAN WRITE REGULARLY IF I CHOOSE TO!!!#I'll need the outlet when I start my new job in august im so fucking nervous#i'll need something to keep me sane😭#and i want to actually be able to finish the projects i start! at least finish a single draft! i've done it before i can do it again!#vee.txt
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I am just so tired of everything but I can't do anything about it
#I can change this situation if I work hard and sincerely....but I just.... can't?#I just feel more physically tired day by day and it feels like I am being lazy and not trying hard enough#But I just. Can't.#Like one surface level I do understand it's just that I am not in a really good place mentally but sometimes it just feels so...bad#I don't know. I have been feeling a lot of unpleasant feelings towards people I though I loved and cared about and it is really troubling m#And then there's this situation of me just not being good enough. And it's so frustrating#I just. There's this person who I have been really envying for a while. I felt very guilty to admit it but I don't know man. Especially whe#I can't bring myself to completely envy and dislike them out of pettiness....it just feels so Wrong And Bad#But I don't know....why do I feel like I can't do anything about this when I can if I try#Why can't I just try to change this. Change myself#I am surrounded by people who support me always....yet I can't do better and I can't do ENOUGH#It just.I don't know. On one hand I wish I was better because I do have a bit of an ego and I want to relish that feeling of winning#On the other hand....I want people who I love to be proud of me.#But I can't because I am too lazy for this can I#It's like I've hit this slump and I can't get out of it#I've tried so much to get out of it....everyone around me tells me not to let myself get too deep into whining and negative emotions and#give up...but man is it so fucking hard not to. It makes me loathe myself that#I feel like running away from my responsibilities when I don't even carry them out. I haven't done shit to feel like I need a break#I don't know I just really am dissatisfied and disappointed with my current self now.#N rambles
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it is so scary being someone who was deep in the grindset and had a catastrophic crash and burn and now being in be kind to yourself rehabilitation and seeing my friends who have not had a catastrophic crash and burn keep on rolling. being so proud of their tremendous workload and the stress it causes. and i GET IT. and i've been there and i've worked myself to the bone and i know i CAN do it. and maybe that's just the only way to actually make money and be successful in the usa but unfortunately it will kill me and that's not something i can laugh and roll my eyes and shrug off anymore . :/
#but talking to them about how little i've been up to vs. their 60 hour week with three jobs#and it's not even like they're complaining about it. they're really proud of it and so am i and it's what they want to be doing#idk i feel like a lazy piece of shit !! who is doing nothing and contributing nothing and i'm just so stuck#it's just like. AAAAAHHH#and the one path i know is working myself until i end up back in physical therapy#but im also in a good enough spot that i won't lose my apartment if i don't pick up more hours. so i should probably just shut up
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had to unfollow and artist i enjoyed bc they talked about how they use ai and took the stance of, "people need to stop attacking me for it bc it's been really helpful to me as a disabled artist 🥺 we should be standing together as artists not trying to divide ourselves 🥺" you know what else ai does? YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE AI DOES??? IT USES ENOUGH ENERGY TO KILL OUR PLANET MUCH FASTER THAN ANYTHING ELSE WE CAN DO ENERGY-WISE.
i am a disabled artist too. my cognitive and mental disabilities that make burnout a substantial roadblock aside, i can have frequent and extreme pain in my wrist (sometimes out of nowhere, sometimes as a result of drawing) that makes drawing an extremely painful and slow process for me (this is due to hypermobility probably). sometimes i draw in spite of the pain, and sometimes it's enough to have me taking long breaks. as a result of the combination of disabilities i have, i am an extremely slow artist. sometimes i struggle with having intense motivation to create, but no actual inspiration because of things going on in my head. and it's a struggle because i desperately want to create, but nothing is coming to me, which makes me feel really bad. and in spite of ALL of this, i still will not use fucking ai to "soothe the uninspired motivation" or to "create in spite of my pain". i will not hand my humanity over to ai because of such trivial reasons. ai could never do what i can, because creating is about the process, not the end result. i feel accomplished in a way that using ai could never provide when i see a piece coming together, something that i've created from nothing. ai will never provide that feeling.
#vent#sorry i'm really frustrated about this#they also said that they use ai to generate backgrounds for their art#which made me even more upset bc if you don't know how to do something there are ways to learn and there are ways to make it easier#guess what! i'm bad at drawing backgrounds too but i will learn so that i don't kill the planet for an easy and frankly lazy solution!#gen ai is the only thing that will make me call people lazy because it IS lazy#it's a lazy way to accomplish what artists can accomplish without putting in any of the fucking work#art is beautiful because a piece you see from someone isn't just the hours they spent on it#it's all the years of practice they've put into their craft up until this point that got them to the level that you see now#i have been drawing all my life and my pieces reflect that#sure i may not be the best artist but i've been at this for 20 years and i feel alive when i create#it's an expression of the soul that ai could never replicate#anyways#fuck ai
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drink on the bed to my left. we know where this is going, but
#just me hi#i have no justification aside from 'oo it's convenient' loll#/and Hello ladies and gentlepeople i am back in the Creative Limbo where i want to do everything but physically and mentally can't do#anything!! how's everyone tonight :) [silence emanates from the dark alleyway i've been speaking into]#i finished that chapter and started the second one (i know it will be short but aough) and within 6 minutes just walked away from the#doc so Lolll#+ i want to draw my little p.space guys but because i'm Writing the beginning of the story now when i think of drawing them something in my#brain deflates .‚.#like where was this energy when i was trying to work on nadda.z.f !! i was drawing those guys and being like 'oh man. wish i had brain juic#to work on my main project :1' and then i do and it Backfires!! this is some kind of sick sick joke hshhfsd#my brain is like a lazy susan with 3 slots for stuff in it. 4 if you count the gaps between the slots lolll#the slots are like think: p.s‚ bl.s‚ then zp.#//i got distracted by a little tune in my head and now i'm taking down the notes in my music box app so i'll finish whatever i was saying#here lolll :>
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