#i know im the weird one here those are some of the most commercially successful businesses in the world

[vriskarlmarx]

i am always so confused when people express that it is hard for them to boycott mcdonalds or starbucks or similar. i probably go to those places twice a year at the most. we inhabit very different realities you and i dear reader

[woozi]

l&r shua and specially studio choom l&r shua... i still have no idea how i survived that, also it gave us blue hair cheol too <3 ... him sleeveless with blue hair, there are so many happy things just from this cb jdjsksskks i adore it.

wonshua fr were something else during l&r... omg after school, I'm guessing you've been into kpop way before me. anytime any clip from 17tv pops up i'm just ' they're so smol here they're so cute ' but also most of the time i have no context as well it's djjdsjskks. idk why but svt club is still something i find myself watching again i really liked its concept and them talking and sharing their thoughts it's very simple but also heart-warming.

is it creepy if i say i kind of did sghjkk i actually got to know you are interested in got7 recently when i ended up clicking the links in your bio. i swear im not a weird stalker jdjeekke i've been following your got7 blog way before than this one djdjdjjddj i only found this svt one recently after i decided to completely move back to tumblr and started following svt accs. I didn't know both blogs were you for a long time jddjdkd i apologize if it does seem lil creepy JDJDKSKSLS

jinyoung and mark are my biases, my ults actually <3 and yess i'm keeping up w/ their solo projects even more than before 😭 it's so jdjdkdkd. 2017 was the year i started listening to kpop and around that time or lil later i came across ' you are ' this song is so dear to me i loved it in first listen, its lyrics i love its lyrics sm i made everyone i know listen to it dhjddk yet i didn't dive in deeper bc i was caught up with other group at that time but slowly I started watching their content from 2018. it's like got7's been w/ me since the start & at the same time not </3 but look, lullaby and more importantly spinning top came and everything changed with that album it's so goood from then i started keeping up with their music and check their cbs. i knew jype was meh even when i didn't stan them but i didn't know to what extent, i only got to know after 2019. so far it's all so good and i hope it stays like that. all of their different companies treat and promote them nicely 🥺.

with svt it was instant love i got to know abt them during march 2019 ig, their songs grew on me so fast and boom by the time may came i was a carat, with got7 it was gradual love, it increased lil by lil it's nice but i do wish i could've stanned them earlier. the only cb experience as an official birdie i have is nbtm and last piece 😭 anyway both of these groups are very dear to me not just musically but emotionally too. i love them very much 😔.

also omg those are some of the great artists!! i honestly have no idea how khh and krnb are i mostly listen to kpop and kbands more. i actually listen to a lot of artists but regularly only zayn, svt, got7, the rose (ik we're talking abt kpop but i can't leave zayn out of this djdjdkdk he's the first ever artist i have stanned <3)

also onewe, n.flying, a.c.e, gaho ( i love his voice <3) woodz, day6. yk when you want new music but also something which you'd instantly enjoy otherwise you don't want new music sghjk, when i feel like this i just go to any of their discography. also special mention to hoppipolla and lucy bc they always bring something new to the table i love them for it. i love these artists but honestly i listen to them when i am in mood. i listen to gotsvt and zayn the most at the end of the day. goodnight <3 i love talking to you too 🥺🥺🥺 also feel free to answer late when you're free. hoping i made sense in this one and answered everything bc i am too sleepy rn fjdjkd - 🪂

BLUE HAIRED COUPSIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WITH THE RIPPED ARMS!!!!!!!!!!!1

iconique if u ask me <3 i heard lnr was indeed a good era for everyone!! wasn't it also cheol's first cb after his break? y'all must've had Fun fun

yes i have 😭 i grew up w koreans so... i guess that's also an influence. i got into kpop on my own volition during 4th grade though, so that's prob 2009/10??? GOD I FEEL SO ANCIENT RN!!!! honestly i still dk what 17tv was about i feel like we were just watching streams of some boys w no context as well 😭 AND YES OMG I GET THAT!! svt club is super chill and it's a great way of learning more abt the members!

JKDFJKKJDFFDKJ HELP!!!!!!!!!!! WAIT OH MY GOD YOU WERE IN MY G7 BLOG 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 IM SO EMBARRASSED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 as i've mentioned last time, got7 got me back into kpop and consequently tumblr 😭😭😭 i 'left' tumblr too and was just checking in occasionally, so when i made that g7 sideblog i was WAY behind the times and my first edits were so fucking- 😭 everything about me then was also so performative idk why i felt the pressure to be in on the club 😭 why were you not annoyed with me then 😭 i'd block me if i saw me on the dash KJFKJFDKJDF thank god i got over it though (or should i be.. i'm a menace on the dash now <3 KJDKKJDFKJF) AND NOOO OMG it's not creepy at all. i put those links in for people to see them after all!! and i'm actually kind of honored you followed me even w/o knowing its me <3 i feel like i've passed the vibe check JJFDKJKJFD do you also follow my main 👀 i rmb someone greeting me here on my bday who said the exact same thing you did 😭

U LIKE OLD MAN JINYOUNG 😭😭😭 ok that makes sense w ur svt bias line tbh <3 i like jinyoung a lot too he's such a smug pain in the ass <3 ALSO MORK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i l*ve mark oh my god i- i know i keep saying this... but ur taste <3 AND YOU ARE 😭😭 THE ERAS YOU DISCOVER/GET INTO GROUPS ARE SOOOO GOOD </3 you are was so meaningful to them, and i'm still so incredibly proud of them for this regardless of commercial success. also what group were u into that time omg 👀 I ALSO GOT INTO THEM DURING SPINNING TOP ERA KJFDKJFDKJFJKFDJKFD WHY ARE WE SO SIMILAR!! u seem to like jaebeom's songs a lot <3 AND MS LULLABY!!! oh my god that's my favorite era <3 and yeah, so true bestie, i couldn't be happier for them they're doing FAR better than they have ever had compared to when they were in that shitty company. i'm still so amazed how they pulled all of this off though. jaebeom's must've went thru loads of papework he was prob so determined to show that old man what they are capable of FDJKDFJKD

NAURRR OMG IT'S SO CUTE HOW U PUT IT THAT WAY!! and i'm sure you'll get to experience more cbs with the 7 <3 they were already hinting at it yesterday on twt JKFDJKJKFD

OHHH THAT'S COOL!!! i haven't had a chance to listen much to kbands now, and if u ask me abt them the first ones that come to mind are ft island and cnblue bc im a kpop hag 😭 OH WAIT MAYBE DAY6 for the new ones?? my friends have also been recommending n.flying, the rose, and onewe to me. which bands do you listen to? and zayn??????? <3 ur so right abt that DFKJKJDFFDKJFD also omg go listen to khh they changed my life <3 i can give u a playlist if u'd like!! <3

OH WAIT THERE GOES THE BANDS FKDGKJKJF i usually reply paragraph by paragraph without reading the whole ask so JDFKJDFJK WAIT WOODZ????????????????????????? HELLO???????????????????? I LOVE THAT MAN!!!!!!!!!!!!! HE'S SO SEXIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and he's so cute too if that helps </3 ALSO MOOD I CANT BRING MYSELF TO LISTEN TO NEW MUSIC NOWADAYS EVEN IF I WANT TO BC OF THE SAME EXACT REASON 😭 the way we get each other is so- and i've never heard of hoppipolla omg i'll go listen to them now!! indeed <3 gotsvt is our home <3

and nooo u are so cute omg </3 and don't feel pressured to respond immediately to me as well!! i'm a v late replier but i'll always reply JKJKFDJKFD AND DW everything u said made perfect sense <3 i hope u get/got a good night's rest!! and that you'll have an awesome day ahead <3

[fairycosmos]

It's like you do everything the get help commercials to tell you you start feeling suicidal and you ask for help from your family from professionals you're like hey imma be honest I'm slowly but surely planning my suicide and they're all like "well I don't think you're actually going to act on that so you're fine : )" and it's it's like is that supposed to discourage or help cause I only feel more determined.Am I just a brat?

hey, you're not a brat at all love. your family's words and actions are a reflection of them, not of ySou. it's not your fault and it's not because of anything you've done, it's not because you don't deserve help. your mind will try to twist it and use this situation to justify self destructive behaviour but if you can recognise that process as it occurs you'll see how irrational and nonsensical it is. your family most likely just don't want to believe that you would take your own life. which must be very stressful for you as someone who is experiencing suicidal thoughts. the fact that you were reaching out for help is a really good sign, n it shows that you're actually able to take preventative measures even when you don't want to. some part of you is fully capable of fighting. not 2 be weird but im extremely proud of you for that. look i don't know how old you are, or what the details of your situation are, but i would highly recommend continuing to ask for what you need. even if you have to push against those toxic untrustworthy urges to do that. there are many suicide hotlines you can call who will give you more specialized advice, n let you know what your options are. there may also be support groups in your area - a lot of people understand where you're coming from, a lot of people have been in your shoes. if you're in school, there's bound to be a counselor or a teacher you trust who you can turn to. i know it's scary. and it's alright to process fear, to sit with it and let it settle. but i promise that opening up will be less difficult than trying to carry all of this alone. we're programmed as people to seek instant gratification, to deny anything that makes us uncomfortable in the present moment, but try to look past that and have a bit of empathy for your future self. there's so many ways to combat this type of thinking, to make it more manageable over time through identifying root causes and adapting healthy coping mechanisms over time. you do not have to die to move from one mindset to the next, ok? every day that you make it you're learning more about how to get through this even subconsciously. as for your family, i would suggest continuing to bring this up to them in a serious manner, maybe even just one of them at a time, and making them listen through that consistency. i get that it's a lot of effort, certainly effort you shouldn't have to expend. and it's not like you have to open your soul to them every single day. but being honest and vulnerable - exactly when your brain is screaming at you to isolate yourself - will bring so much progress. i understand that this is all very daunting and a lot easier said than done. but my point is that there's always a choice. regardless of your family or your sadness, you can alway make the desicion to forgive, to try again tomorrow. not every day has to be a success story. some days it's genuinely ok to just cry, and feel it, and lie in bed and be mad at it all. nobody would blame you for that. as long as you're attempting to ground yourself in rational affirmations (even if you don't believe them in the moment.) and obviously words aren't enough to actually change anything, but i want to stress that your existence is significant and important and it deserves to be fulfilled. you're constantly having an impact on this planet and creating your own meaning. it's exhausting and i know you didn't intend to be here but nevertheless you're in the world and it is so rare. there's an ever changing future waiting for you and it's fine if you don't want it, but on the basis that maybe someday you will, and that this is the only human experience you're ever going to have - i urge you to stay alive. as you become all the people you're supposed to be your perspective will change so much, it's inevitable, but you have to give yourself a chance to get to that point. you're not stuck, no matter how much it seems like you are. take it one day at a time from here on out and focus on your needs (not your wants.) if that feels like too much, one hour at a time. surviving a minute at a time is also more than good enough. im rooting for you and i hope with all my heart that your family begins to listen so some actual treatment can be put in place. if not, there are other avenues of support even if they're little harder to seek. any effort will be worth it. sending a lot of love your way dude. let me know if you need to talk.

[dust-tone]

Dust-Tone Interview: Sweatson Klank (fka TAKE)

art by dusq.

Sweatson Klank (formerly known as Take) is nothing short of a musical pioneer. Having been at the center of the ever-growing beats community for almost two decades now, Tom Wilson has helped engineer the creative environment that is known and loved today. You can find his discography scattered amongst nearly a dozen revered labels (including Project: Mooncircle, All City, Friends of Friends, Poo-Bah, Alpha Pup and more). He has also produced an extensive collection of official DJ mixes for beloved radio stations and collectives (BBC, dublab, BTS, Low End Theory, Brainfeeder and many more). Most important to note however is his paramount Sketchbook night which laid the foundation for the famed Low End Theory and the fertile Los Angeles beat community as a whole in the early-mid 2000′s.

While Sweatson Klank is both busy with musical projects and running the label Tone and Manor, we were fortunate enough to sit down and get his perspective on the current musical climate.

Dust-Tone: When did you first start making music and what got you interested in it? Early influences?

Sweatson Klank: I started making music when i was 13. I had a deep connection to music really early on. I got a guitar and took lessons for a year. From there on I jammed with my friends and eventually started a couple little bands in High School. I also got a bass and started playing bass a little here and there. These bands were just little garage bands where we would play parties and wherever we got invited to play, but it was good fun and I learned a lot from those experiences. When i got to college i quickly started looking for other musicians to form a band with but had trouble finding people I related to musically. Around that time I went to a huge house party off campus and really got my first taste of what a dj was truly capable of. This guy, who later became a good friend was rocking a crown of about 300 people with just turntables, records and a mixer. Mind you, this was well before cdjs or Serato. At the time is was still really special to witness a dj playing records and doing so with a technical prowess I hadn't ever seen before. I had an epiphany, that night. I watched this dj just control a crowd and they were loving it. I had been having trouble forming a new band because I had a really strong opinion of what i wanted it to sound like and others didn't seem to see eye to eye with me. I was always telling people how to play and what to play with their instruments. As you can imagine, no one really liked that hahaha. Little did i know i was a producer in the making. I had all these ideas but I wasn't capable of playing them or truly expressing them yet. So back to this party, I was shocked to see this dj setting the vibe and expressing himself through playing records. I sat there all night bugging him to let me try it. Of course, he kept saying no, get lost. Finally as it got later and he got drunker, he told me " If you want to make a fool of yourself go ahead" and handed me the headphones. I had never touched a turntable or mixer in my life, but i had been watching him do it all night. So i got up there and started flipping through his records, which i knew absolutely nothing about, they were all house records. The only record i knew was a Micheal Jackson record - " Don't Stop Till You Get Enough" so i grabbed it and somehow magically blended a perfect mix on my first try and the crowd went nuts!! Most likely because it was MJ and that song gets any party hype hahah.. So i grabbed another record i didn't know and tried again and completely train wrecked and the dj grabbed the head phones back from me and went back on. That one moment of glory though was enough to set it all off for me. The next week i was at his house begging him to teach me and practice on his turntables. Its just snowballed from there. i was hooked, started buying records, eventually got turntables, a club night, started dj'ing all over. I learned to dj playing house music but i was much more into Hip Hop and Funk and Soul. After about a year, i realized i wanted to actually make tracks and not just be a dj. So i got a drum machine, and then a sampler, and a four track and there you have it, i was on my way to doing what i still love to do today.

DT: What are you currently listening to? Does this affect the evolution of your current sound? Do you find yourself holding onto influences and themes of the past over new music tendencies or is how you make music flowing more with the changing of the times?

SK: That question is pretty difficult because I listen to so much music all the time. I really don't listen to any one style of music constantly. I love to discover old music that I didn't know. Record collecting is still one of my favorite hobbies so Im constantly finding stuff from the past that is incredibly inspiring and influential in the music i make today. I think i am much more inspired by the sounds of the past than i am the sounds of most fo todays music. As an artist, your tastes are constantly evolving, and to me thats a beautiful thing. It shows your own growth, and life is all about growing. When I am not in the studio working, i generally prefer to listen to old records. Jazz, Brazilian, African, weird electronic library records, New Age music and i love 80's Soul/R&B boogie stuff!

DT: You've been a pretty important staple in the "beat scene" for over a decade now. Low End Theory (which has now sadly come to a finale), Dublab, AllCity, Warp, Ghostly, Poobah, Project Mooncircle, even BBC and so many more love you. You are the modern hero to the independent beat maker. Do you feel like growing up on the west coast had any impact on early exposure to this musical way of thought? Able to meet the right people, get pushed in the right directions, etc?

SK: Thanks man, so nice of you. I think just having a forward thinking attitude about music and life really helped me most. Low End was a great place that helped me get noticed and meet tons of incredible people who shared similar perspectives on music. Before Low End though, we had a night called Sketchbook which was essentially an early version of all of that. Our goal was just to push the weirder left field side of hip hop and downtempo electronic music before it was actually cool. It was an uphill battle at first but but we just did it out of love for the music and a passion to play stuff no one else was playing.

DT: How has the "beats" community changed since you first entered it? Some would argue what was once a niche LA sound has spread worldwide and transformed through the different cultures. Does this influence your music?

SK: When we started doing this, it was just our own form of expression, we had no idea it would eventually grow into the "Beat Scene"  and now in turn,  people call it Lo Fi hip hop.. i just laugh. Its all good. I think there are tons of great producers out there making really interesting beats!! So Im happy to maybe have been a part of the birth of whatever the movement wants to call itself now. I think I am more in awe and influenced by the OG's than the new comers. To me everyone has one great record in them.. But to put out great music for years and years, thats a different story. That is what inspires and influences me the most. When i leave this earth, I want to leave behind a vast catalog of musical creations, regardless of if any of it was commercially successful or popular. Just like most of the records I admire most from 30-40 years ago. They were never hugely popular, but they were incredible!

DT: What is your creative process like? Do you start with the tool or from the imagination? Or both? Do you find yourself ever using traditional methods for making music or do you normally stick to the DAW? (which DAW/gear do you use?)

SK: My process really varies. Sometimes I start with a sample, other-times i just lay out a chord progression on the piano or a synth and build from there. I try to find new ways to tap into creativity so that im not bored. There is really no one single approach to making music. I use Ableton as my main DAW but I also use a ton of external instruments like synths, guitars, bass, drum machines, percussion instruments, vinyl samples.

DT: Fine Lines, your latest release from FoF Music is incredible. Did you have a specific aural goal with this album or did you just create and let the sound emerge naturally? Are you currently working on anything for the future or currently focusing more on support for your latest release? Anything exciting planned for 2019?

SK: With the 'Fine Lines' album I really wanted to create a cohesive album that embodied a specific vibe. How that vibe is perceived is up to the listener of course, but i sought out to make something that was indicative of my life during the making of these songs. In its most basic explanation its a story of growth, love, battling darkness both inner and outer and the never ending search for true happiness hahha. Yes I have a bunch of stuff slated for 2019. First off i just launched my label Tone and Manor. We just released our first compilation " All Over the Place" Vol. 1 and have Vol. 2 coming out in November.   The Tone and Manor label is a passion project of mine. I teach music production at Point Blank Music Academy and I mentor a lot of young producers and beginners and the label is a way for me to help some of them get their music out there into the often confusing music sphere. I also have a new album coming out in 2019.. Im really excited about that. For this one I am really going back to my roots. Analog synths, samples, instruments and in general a more organic vibe to the music. Its getting closed to finish and im really hyped to share it when its ready. The first single will likely come out early 2019.

DT: Do you find that switching your name brought any confusion? Do Sweatson Klank and TAKE focus on separate sounds or do they have a similar theme you aim for?

SK: Switching my name from Take to Sweatson Klank was purely for the reason that Take became increasingly impossible to find online, being that its a verb used in every other sentence. It was a bit hard at first to re-brand but im glad i did it. The sound has always been me. Its the evolution of me as an artist. If i was still TAKE the songs I've released as Sweatson Klank would be the same. It was really just a name change, not a style change. The intention hasn't changed.

DT: Please recommend something you're currently listening to, favorite place to get food in LA (are you an LA native), and a film or book if you have had time to indulge.

SK: Currently as i write this i am listening to a track from 1985 called 'Plastic Love' by a Japanese Female Soul artist named Mariya Takeuchi. The list of things i listen to could fill up 3 pages hahaha. Lets just say i listen to everything!!! I stay up on the latest hip hop, house, techno but I find more pleasure in digging through old records and discovery things from different times and countries!! Yes, I would say I am an LA native, I moved here from Paris, France when I was 5. Favorite place to eat really depends on the mood! Sushi Gen in Little Tokyo is definitely a regular in my rotation. Current read; The book of Joy by Douglas AbramsI just want thanks for taking the time to shine a light on me and my work, I hope your readers enjoy.

Sweatson Klank’s music is available direct from the artist through bandcamp: https://sweatsonklank.bandcamp.com

And his label’s discography as well: https://toneandmanor.bandcamp.com

Huge thanks to Tom Wilson for taking the time to talk with us and give a window to his world.

[betweenthetimeandsound]

Three Minutes to Eternity: My ESC 250 (#200-191)

#200: Alice Babs -- Lilla stjärna (Sweden 1958)

“Lilla stjärna i det höga, svara mig, svara mig, Kommer han som jag ska få så kär?”

“Little star up above, answer me, answer me, Is he coming, the man that I will love?”

And so we begin the top 200 with an innocent and sweet number, and which resembles the best of 1950s Eurovision. I'm not a fan of the decade, because most of the songs are a bit too old-fashioned for my taste (especially since we have the beginnings of rock-n-roll outside the contest), but Lilla stjarna is one of the better soundtrack-like songs.

Before Sweden became the superpower in Eurovision we all know and love (or love to hate), they debuted with this dainty, beautiful song that was selected internally. There's a sense of longing in the lyrics, with the narrator hoping that their loved one would return. It’s definitely a fairytale, with that classical instrumentation and Alice’s innocent voice.

Personal ranking: 2nd/10 Actual ranking: 4th/10 in Hilversum

#199: Domenico Modugno -- Nel Blu Dipinto di Blu (Italy 1958)

“Penso che un sogno così non ritorni mai più Mi dipingevo le mani e la faccia di blu Poi d’improvviso venivo dal vento rapito E incominciavo a volare nel cielo infinito”

“I think such a dream will never come back I painted my hands and my face blue Then suddenly I was ravished by the wind And I started flying in the infinite sky”

The original classic from Eurovision, and the biggest hit of them all. It topped the Billboard charts in 1959, won two Grammys in the first-ever ceremony in 1959 (and still the only Italian-language song to do so), and is covered and over again to this day.

Considering the lack of attention most of the songs got in the first two contests, it's possible without Nel blu dipinto di blu's commercial success, we wouldn't have a Eurovision Song Contest to speak of. Or it would've been done for by 1960, haha.

Sometimes, I forget about this song when thinking about favorites, but when I listen to the intro, it starts bringing you into its little world, where I’m actually flying! The lyrics are quite cool and imaginative, adding to that feeling.

And of course, that "Volare..." is enough to keep people singing along!

Personal ranking: 1st/10 Actual ranking: 3rd/10 in Hilversum #Italywasrobbed

#198: Korni -- Moja Generacjia (Yugoslavia 1974)

“Mene majka moja rodi da sanjam o slobodi, U prvoj noći da čujem zveket, Da plačem sa rukom na usnama,”

“My mother gave me life to dream of freedom, The first night to hear gun sounds To cry with my hand on my lips”

World War II in Yugoslavia is not something I've learned about in depth. What I do know is that the Axis powers were able to take the whole country, and two major groups arose to collaborate with them. The Ustashas (Croatian nationalists) and Chetniks (Serbian nationalists) also both sought to destroy the other ethnic group and there was a bit of a mess all around.

(If you have any more information on this topic, let me know as I do want to learn)

Moja Generacija is a harrowing but powerful progressive rock song about those born during the Second World War, and their lives as a whole. I like the dark soundscape along with the instruments that accompanied it too. The orchestration at the chorus is especially noteworthy, because of the sweeping strings and the brass which highlight the times as a whole.

(And apparently, there's a seven-minute English-language cut, which makes it even more of a progressive rock song.)

Personal ranking: 3rd/17 Actual ranking: 12th/17 in Brighton

#197: Shiri Maimon -- HaSheket Shenishar (Israel 2005)

המבט אחר והקור חודר אתה מסתתר, את גופי שובר

“The glance is different and the cold is piercing You’re hiding, breaking my body”

Israel in the 2000s wasn't the best song-wise. I can only think of two songs that were really good in that period--of which this was one of them, which held Israel's best placing this century until Toy won three years ago. And it couldn't be anymore different from the song Israel would eventually win with.

Initially, I didn't get it, as it felt a bit derivative. Even now, it has offgrown me a bit because of pop ballad structure. But what I really liked was the smooth transition between Hebrew and English, along with how well Shiri sings it. She has a really sweet tone to her voice, which really helps in conveying the sorrow of being in love with a cheating partner and having to let go of it for her own happiness.

And that dress--it has to be one of my favorite performance outfits of all time!

Personal ranking: 4th/39 Actual ranking: 4th/24 GF in Kyiv

#196: Inga and Anush -- Jan Jan (Armenia 2009)

“Can't ya see, we aren't free?, Fixed like a tree to the holy ground, With my sound, gotta be always around, I wanna dance, don't ya stand, sister give your hand,”

"Sister, here we go!"

For a dance song, it's actually quite sedate--there isn't many moments of true boppiness, but there was something more "psychadelic" about the production and how it was put together. Either way, it works well all the same.

The sisters do a good job singing together, and I like the mix of ethno and dance music. Plus, their costumes are absolutely expensive and glamourous--I would like to wear them if I ever got the chance.

Also, for some reason, Azeris like to spam the comments on this song and claim that the Armenians "stole" their traditional clothing and music. Considering the two countries' proximity, I'm not so shocked about their similarities, but if Azeris would like to share a bit more of their ethnic music, it's always welcome!

Personal ranking: 8th/42 Actual ranking: 10th/25 GF in Moscow

#195: Sabina Babayeva -- When the Music Dies (Azerbaijan 2012)

“You, you are the best of me The reason that I believe, so don't leave me now...”

(Yes, Azerbaijan can send ethnic-influenced music. Hehe.)

Azerbaijan’s host entry when they brought the contest to Baku is a bit of a standard ballad, but with an ethnic twist. The use of balaban really highlights the melancholy of the song, and the mughum vocals pierces one's soul when performed.

I could feel how Sabina sings every word, pleading with her lover to stay with her despite it all. And that doesn’t begin to add with the beautiful LED dress, adding to the drama of the song as we see it in white, but it gets overlaid with sparks, shades of turquoise, and its final form with reds and oranges. That was a particularly beautiful moment.

A lot of fans believe this was the song that should've won it for Azerbaijan, and I can't disagree! This is a gem indeed.

Personal ranking: 6th/42 (a bit awkward here because I left out my runner-up of 2012 in this ranking, so amongst the songs here it's 5th/42) Actual ranking: 4th/26 GF in Baku

#194: Milestones -- Falter im Wind (Austria 1972)

“Tanz um die Lichter, Schmetterling, Deine Farben flammen auf, Tot ist die Nacht, in deinem Tanz, Ist das Leben hell wie Tag”,

“Dance around the lights, butterfly Your colours flame up The night is dead, in your dance Life is bright like the day”

My first forays on pre-1990s Eurovision was with the British blog, Lovelovepeacepeace. She would recap every year between 1968 and 2000, and 1972 was one of the years I went through the songs because of her. Coincidentally, I got to like Falter im Wind as much as she does.

It definitely fits with the hippy era, in terms of folk music and the general aesthetic. There's even a prominent (weird little) flute motif throughout. The lyrics talk about the life or a butterfly and how it shouldn't go to far into the sun. A bit strange, considering what most other songs are about, but it's a nice and gentle sentiment (with a message not unlike that of "Waterfalls", how strange).

Austria is not usually known for their highlights, but this is definitely one of their best (and a personal favorite of mine). Feel free to go an a road-trip playing this (though not with the studio cut--that's a bit slower)!

Personal ranking: 1st/18 Actual ranking: 5th/18 in Edinburgh

#193: Roger Bens -- Femme dans ses rêves aussi (France 1985)

“Mélodie, mélodrame, sourire et puis larmes Amoureuse ou sans âme, elle est d’abord femme...”

“Melody, melodrama, smile and then tears In love or without soul, first of all she’s woman”

ESC 1985 is notable not only because of a certain ripped-skirt incident, but also because they have a live album with the first eleven songs of the contest. Among these is the French entry, which has one of the best orchestrations of all-time, thanks to Michel Bernholc's arrangemnt.

(And because of that, it is my most-listened to song on Spotify)

The violins primarily make this song what it is—there are synths in the studio track, but don’t pack the same punch. The bass really provides some depth, and the brass at the bridge really sells the whole thing home.

The sense of drama in the song also includes the lyrics about being a woman and embracing her in all the ways. Despite the occasional eyebrow-raising and lip licking, Roger sings this with gusto.

To add to this, where is Roger Bens? This was the last known sighting of him and he is presumed to be dead.

Personal ranking: 3rd/19 Actual ranking: 10th/19 in Gothenburg

#192: Nina Zilli -- L'Amore È Femmina (Out Of Love) (Italy 2012)

“If you were my king, would I be your queen?, Stop breaking up my heart, you kill me – boom boom boom”

No, she's not Amy Winehouse resurrected for one night, but Nina Zilli! She also competed in Sanremo that year, and Emma (see #223) won it with the harsh but determined "Non è l'inferno".

Beyond the retro music and Nina's bouffant on the night, I didn't notice any similarities to Amy Winehouse. This doesn't mean "L'amore e femmina" have its own charms--it falls into the jazz theme that "Madness of Love" (#232) continues, but is the opposite in more than one way.

The English-Italian mix is a but clunky at times, especially in the choruses but it doesn’t take away from the attitude this song brings. I love the jazzy vibes and how Nina sings it with a sense of sassiness and charm. Her backing vocalists really help with conveying the mood, and don't do a bad job when the song goes back to Italian!

(As for the two Sanremo songs in question, I prefer Non è l'inferno to Per Sempre--the former is quite determined, and I really like the lyrics. Though I think the latter would have more appeal in terms of themes, even it's a bit more derivative musically)

Personal ranking: 5th/42 Actual ranking: 9th/26 GF in Baku

#191: Hovi Star -- Made of Stars (Israel 2016)

“Dance with me like we are made of stars...”

This is one of the first songs which got me into Eurovision. I would put this on repeat over and over again, because it's just so beautiful. (Or it was because it's Israeli, haha. Another country bias of mine will appear later.)

The first version of Made of Stars was a trashy and dull dance song, but the rework into a ballad makes it more magical. It’s serene yet touching, with a calming piano motif and a dramatic crescendo at the end.

The staging of Made of Stars also helps; while I'm still put off by the LED face when the backing vocalists sing "you hypontize me", everything else just works. The otherwise starry LEDs, the hoop dancers, and Hovi's glowing presence make this into a sweet, albeit overlooked package.

Personal ranking: 6th/42 Actual ranking: 14th/26 GF in Stockholm

[groupie-inspired]

this is the most truthful thing about men i have interacted with.

if you are. a man. read this for the insider hot take !! from my female perspective

(girls may resonate)

like most of my female friends are lesbians or are bi yet choose to only date women and honestly. girl i am ready to follow suit

guys are just. hm.

and the hard part too is like i go for band guys and i want them to not be Awful but unfortunately i end up with emotionally unavailable babies because my father is an emotionally unavailable baby man and that’s probably what it’s about

i want to reform the douche bags but it does not fucking WORK for ME. sometimes they end up a better person but i never get anything from them for that and it’s like

i literally had to be your fucking therapist, your mother, your friend, your whatever and for WHAT

i get sad and i cry about these guys mainly because they won’t cooperate and i mean really at this rate i just feel like guys are fucking vending machines that i try to shake until one (1) emotional validation coin falls out

it’s like i cry because i KNOW im better than this shit and im like. bitch. you are so STUPID and like the guys also know that i am better than this shit a lot of the time aND YET

and there have been situations where these guys have LITERALLY been older than me and yet been less mature than me in so many ways and I’ll be like. he can do better, he’ll do better. but SIKE they will be thinking to themselves “i can do better” but wait fifteen fucking years to do better, and I probably will never even get to see the results of my literal LABOR at this point

like y’all should’ve paid me for showing you the light I never used to feel this way but now. You All Have Changed Me. so good on you

and part of it to is like. have y’all ever seen a nike commercial????

Just Do It

just fucking like. stop thinking about every little thing like what if I won’t work what if this what if I don’t want this and it’s like

you will never even KNOW IF YOU NEVER SPEAK TO ME NORMALLY LASHWLGSOWGSOWGWLGEOW

and other than these guys I swear there are LIKE SEVEN GUYS QHO ARE ACTUALLY KIND THAT LIKE ME AT SCHOOL BUT IM NOT ATTRACTED TO THEM BECAUSE I HAVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PROBLEMS AND THEY ARE NOT NY TYPE AND ITS LILE. WHO DID THIS TO ME. and they’re all fucking friends but it’s not a problem between them because they all KNOW that they probably won’t date me and it’s like

what even IS THIS

who do you guys think I AM

like why do you show up only to run away why are you scared of strong women

like you go for a 16 or 17 year old maybe because you think she will take ur shit and also be immature & pliable but then y’all find me and I am not that and you’re like

BRB GOTTA DIP

i am not even your catholic school girl fantasy my school uniform has PANTS. PANTS!!!!!!!!

I just wanna know why so many men go about life acting like other people aren’t even something to truly be concerned with. It’s always like. How could this benefit ME? and it’s like. Other People Exist.

like if I sent you a pic of me in my bra can you maybe pretend to have HALF AN EMOTION FOR ME

because it was fucking YOU WHO STARTED THIS

like why did YOU do this????????

99% of the time i Was Just Minding My Own Business

and it’s like sure man im glad you’re having a good time assessing your options but have you considered the fact that this is not a FUCKING SHELF in the CLEARANCE section at TARGET

it’s not like one of them is gonna be labeled 50% off or something and there will be less risk associated

yet you still are out here acting like each and every “option” is!!! Buy One Get One Free!!!!

and you know what this the TRUTH and I don’t even care if y’all don’t like me anymore!!!!!!!

you act like A FOOL a literal FOOL. send in the CLOWNS my DUDE

and I bet a man won’t even read this far because they usually don’t even have the attention span to say goodbye to me after they get what they Came for if you know what i mean

im tired of being nice because literally. do y’all deserve manners???????? i am from QUEENS so I am a BITCH and yet I try to be the bigger and better person in all these situations.

But I am just ANNOYED

it’s like i will feel strong emotions for a person and their reaction is basically like. hm that’s weird maybe stop that whilst they keep fucking rag dolling me thru drama after drama

i feel like i run some type of bs rehabilitation center. they show up and im like

hey. stop that

omg you’re right I’ll stop that

ok good so you’re gonna be more responsible with other people

yea

*they proceed to fall off the face of the earth*

I have had like multiple different variations of this kind of situation so if you are a Man and you think this is about you. in some way, it is.

i don’t want to hurt anyone yet you will walk around and just do shit because it’s better for YOU and not even prioritizing whether or not your actions hurt people who invested time and emotions into you because they believed you were good and could do better and saw the truth of who you were and didn’t let you hide like a fucking toddler

like I don’t wanna hurt any of these guys feelings but.... :/ I can’t afford to care that much anymore!!

so maybe like think before you get your dick out next time???? that people aren’t just things for you to use when you want or move around like pieces on a chess board to suit your “strategy” or “master life plan” or whatever the fuck

you’re a man so your success and happiness and love and lust is of the UTMOST importance all the time regardless of how anyone is impacted

it’s like have you fully considered that i, too, Have needs and if you can’t meet them??? don’t lie to me and act like you can be a FRIEND to me when you CANT

and then if you’re gonna say that you are different now and shit because of what ive said? maybe thank me properly by informing as to what the fuck is going on? instead of acting like you died or something LMAO

and I have had this happen with friends too where like five or six months after I cut them off they message me like Hey Lena. What Is Going On. like. you are gonna act like what happened didn’t happen? you’re gonna act like you didn’t take from me and lie to my fucking face? at my birthday party? BITCH!!!!

CONCLUSION (most important part i guess)

and anyway the truth is

if i invested in you in these ways that ive discussed, it was because i loved you. and if you aren’t mature enough to comprehend that love is not a scary word then I am not for you. because i try my best to love everyone and everything in this world, provided that they do not harm other people. if i did these things for you, even in my frustration, i probably STILL love you. and im sorry that, you don’t love me back. and you can’t experience the joy that comes with loving me, and the joy, and the loyalty, and the peace—the understanding that all people are connected thru love. i am truly sorry that you are afraid to have that, or don’t understand what that is. but, i won’t stop loving you because im fucking embrassed, or some people who don’t understand my philosophy think im weird. i won’t stop loving you just because some people think it’s “too much”. i am a lover, it is who i am, and i refuse to change myself for anyone— let alone a selfish man who can see nothing farther than his hand in front of him. every single day of my life is a struggle to maintain that love. i have never been shown love in the ways that i deserve, and yet i strive EVERY DAY to extend my love to the people and animals and plants that exist in this world. i have fought practically everyday of my life to love myself enough to keep living. to love those going thru challenges and who disrespect me. so truly!!!

im sorry that you don’t know what love is. yet, i hope one day, that you do.