#i know im posting this at like quarter past midnight

[cmdonovann]

another one of the "i'm drawing my whole dnd party in corsets" series. here's raz. unfortunately i love him

also, here's a wip shot that i thought looked kinda nice

[bluerosetarot]

Everyone on Task Force 141 knew you had a date tonight since you'd been going on and on about it for the past week, so when you come back to base with puffy cheeks and eyes still red from crying a certain someone comes to comfort you.

Tags: female reader x Simon "Ghost" Riley, hurt/comfort, mild descriptions of violence (Simon wants to hurt whoever hurt you, after all), PIV rebound sex.

Tagging @the-californicationist because you wanted me to tag you once I posted this.

You hadn't been with the task force for long, but your presence had certainly had an impact on the team as a whole in the year and a half you'd been around. Being the youngest and shortest had earned you official "little sister" status despite the fact you could toss all of them around at hand to hand practice thanks to your lower center of gravity and aikido background, with the exception of Simon. That man was not only tall but was surprisingly flexible, which you took as a personal challenge.

"One of these days I'm going to topple you, Ghost." You'd all just come back from a sparring match and were sitting around a table enjoying your beverages of choice.

"Of course you will, sweet'eart." He'd smile behind his cuppa without looking at you, but you could see the slight wrinkles around the corners of his eyes. "An' one 'a these days Price'll start layin' golden eggs so we can all retire."

So imagine everyone's surprise when you mention you were seeing someone, a civvie you'd met on a dating app. You'd been gushing over your crush and hadn't noticed Soap playfully nudge Simon in his side or the glare the taller man gave him in return.

"Going out to see him on next leave, said he wanted to take me somewhere nice for dinner. And before any of you try anything I don't need backup, or shadowed, or anything else. I know we're all a little paranoid here but I'm a big girl, I can take care of myself."

"Not you we'd be worried about, luv." Gaz gave you a knowing smile before continuing. "We're worried about the poor guy getting folded like a pretzel if 'is 'ands go anywhere they shouldn't, y'know?"

It took you a few months before you could properly go on a date; a mission got in the way, but you promised your new beau that as soon as you got back from your classified trip you'd be all his. Whenever you could, you messaged him, even sending him a few spicy pictures over the course of your flirting.

When the special night finally came around, you snuck off to your quarters to put on a lovely little black dress and did your makeup as best you could. Taking a look at yourself in the mirror, you psyched yourself up and inwardly hoped that you wouldn't run into anyone on your way out. That hope was quickly dashed upon the rocks of reality when you nearly ran into the brick wall named Ghost as you left the washroom.

"Bloody Jesus, Ghost. Trying to give me a heart attack?"

His answer was to scoff under his mask and lean against the wall beside you, those brown eyes of his looking you over as he slowly shook his head.

"Got no place to 'ide a knife, gun, or anythin' else. Sure you don't need any backup, luv?"

"I appreciate your concern, LT, but I should be fine."

He backed away with a chuckle, not expecting your tone to be so dry and he held up his hands in an appeasing gesture.

"Roight, roight. Well, knock 'im dead, luv. But if you aren't back by midnight, we'll all assume you turned into a pumpkin 'an start a search party. Deal?"

"Deal."

Your date went a bit... less than stellar. When you arrived at the restaurant, he'd been nearly a half hour late and was dressed more casual than you, but you weren't used to being all dolled up either so you gave him the benefit of the doubt. Conversation was minimal with him mostly talking about himself as you sat there bored until he hit you with a bombshell.

"You're hot like this, but now that you're my girl you're going to have to give up this whole military thing."

You'd been about to take a bite of food and nearly dropped your fork from laughing at what you thought was a joke, but he just got irritated.

"I'm serious. You can't go wasting your prime childbearing years pretending to be an action hero."

"Excuse me?" You matched his tone, a bit of annoyance seeping into your words. "What happened to you going nuts over my career plans? How you said you always liked a 'girl in uniform'?"

"Uniforms are hot, but I figured once we met, you'd realize you wanted a nice civilian life and leave all that fantasy behind you."

"Uh-huh..." Flagging down your waiter, you asked for the check. "I'll take my half of the check, please. This date is over."

"You can't just fucking leave!"

"I can..." Giving your card to the waiter, you then locked eyes with your sad excuse for a date. "And I will. See? I'm doing it right now."

Once your tab had been taken care of, you made a beeline for the door with the guy chasing after you, yelling at you to change your mind. He made the mistake of trying to grab your wrist, and you managed an aikido move that brought him down to a knee.

"You don't get to touch me that way, got it?"

You'd leaned down to stare daggers into him, a look you'd perfected from watching Ghost, and your failed date nodded in fear as he got up and backed away.

Turning on your heel, you made it to your car and closed the door before slumping over your steering wheel with a sigh. Tears pricked at the corners of your eyes, a mixture of sadness and anger. Willing yourself to wait until you got back to base for a good cry, you started the car and headed back but couldn't help a few stray tears from rolling down your cheeks.

It was a little past 2300 when you got back to base and, to your disappointment, there were a few lights still on. You'd hoped to take your walk of shame without anyone noticing, but fate had other plans. You hadn't realized that everyone in 141 was worried for you and stayed up to wait for you to come home.

Which meant that you opened the door to the common area, and four sets of eyes instantly looked up at you. All of them taking note of your tear streaked makeup making you feel warm and nervous.

Soap was the first one to speak up, cutting the tension with a joke.

"Aye, lass, who we needin' to knife up for ya?"

Price sat to his right and gave him a very good "not now" look as you clenched your jaw in annoyance.

"Don't want to talk about it." You turned to the Captain and gave him a polite nod. "Heading to bed, sir."

Taking a thoughtful puff of his cigar, he returned your nod.

"Right, everyone here should do the same. Lights out, everyone."

Gaz and Soap reluctantly got up. You could read it plain as day on their faces they wanted to pepper you with a thousand questions, but stern looks from both Price and Ghost made them think twice, and they both wished you a good night and hurried off to their rooms. Price followed after them after giving you one final concerned glance before heading down the hall.

It was Ghost that put a comforting hand on your shoulder. He had a way of sneaking up on everyone even when he was in plain sight, and this situation was no different. You tried your best to compose yourself before meeting his gaze, but something in his eyes made you break down when your eyes met and you let out a soft sound somewhere between a cry and a whimper.

"Fucking christ, look at me. All bent out of shape over little more than a schoolyard crush."

"If 'e 'urt ya I know plenty a places to hide a body 'round 'ere."

Where Soap has been jovial, you could tell Ghost was serious, and you couldn't stop an involuntary shiver creep down your spine before shaking your head.

"Not worth the effort, Ghost. But I appreciate it. Damn chauvinist thought I'd get one look at him and want to stop all my work here and pop out babies."

That got a laugh from the larger man, a deep rumble in his chest.

"Th' public doesn't realize all tha' we do to keep the world spinnin', luv. If you 'ad never joined up with us, who knows 'ow our missions would've gone. You've been damn good at not only covering our sixes on multiple occasions but..."

He trailed off, catching himself before he said something further. But this only made you more curious since this was the most words you'd ever hear the man string together outside of mission briefings.

"But what?"

"But... christ this is a bit embarrassing but you remind all of us what we're fightin' for, y'know? You remind us that we aren't just killin' machines an' that we're 'uman. That we do this to protect 'umanity, outside and within. Y' deserve someone who understands tha', not some chav bloke who sees y' as just a baby factory."

The hand that was on your shoulder went up to smooth his short hair back as his eyes looked away from yours. You thanked whatever god was up there that he did because he didn't see the blush creeping into your cheeks.

"Uhh... th-thanks, Ghost."

Those eyes locked back onto yours, and you could see the telltale crinkle of wrinkles at the corners of his eyes that betrayed his smile.

"Y' can call me Simon, luv. Just between the two of us, yeah?"

"Yeah. I'll keep that in mind."

A heavy sigh left your lips, and you gave him a small smile.

"Simon. Think, uh... think you would want to join me for a bit tonight? It's been nice talking to someone who understands what's going on in my head."

That got an eyebrow raise from him, and he crossed his arms over his chest.

"Y' propositionin' your commanding officer now?"

His tone was low, tinted with humor, but his rough voice made it sound suggestive all the same. He left the question open, and it emboldened your reply.

"Well I need someone to really show me the difference between a "chav bloke" and a real man, don't I?"

With a look over his shoulder down the hall towards the barracks proper, no doubt making sure everyone else was already in bed, he nodded and gestured for you to lead the way.

"Ladies first, luv."

That earned him a playful punch in the arm, and you grabbed his hand in yours, leading him down the hall to your quarters.

Once inside your room with the door shut tight behind you, Simon was looming over you, pressing your body to the wall. In the dim light of your room you could barely see his eyes as they looked you over once more while his hand came up to cup your cheek.

"Y' sure about this, luv? Not that I mind bein' a rebound but I want to make sure y' really want this..."

He knew how to catch you off guard, that's for sure, and you gave him a reassuring nod. Your own hand reaching up to glide along his that caressed your face so gently, a welcome juxtaposition to his normally cold demeanor.

"Yeah, I'm sure. I'm actually glad that you, uh..."

Now it was your turn to stifle words better left unsaid, though those swallowed words turned into heat and crimson on your neck and cheeks as embarrassment kept you from saying what was really on your mind.

In truth you'd always had a "thing" for the big badass types, the "scary dogs", outcasts, loners, and Gho- Simon, you reminded yourself, ticked off all the boxes to pique your interest. He'd always given off just enough tidbits about himself, crumbs that you had devoured in the fire of your curiosity that only proved to stoke it into a further inferno. The date you'd gone on tonight? He was meant to be a distraction from the man you couldn't have had, shouldn't have been able to have, yet here he was gazing down into your very soul in your quarters.

"Glad? Glad for wha', luv?"

Simon had picked up on that thread you left dangling and you could hear the smirk in his voice as he pressed further. Both his body squeezing against you and his words pressing the opening he'd found.

"Glad y' got th' big, scary Ghost as y' own personal toy for th' night? Glad that you'll get to experience a real man in y' bed tonoight?"

Each word brought his face closer to yours and you watched as his hand slid from your cheek to his mask, pulling it down past his mouth and finally letting you see his face. Your mind went blank for a second as you took in his features for the brief moment he hovered in front of you before he buried his face in your neck to kiss the sensitive skin there.

The kiss was gentle, lips pressing to your jugular as your heart raced so fast you could swear he'd be able to feel your pulse through his lips. Even gentle as it was you couldn't stop the soft sound that escaped your own lips.

"Am I on the money, sweet'eart? You been 'oping I'd get jealous or somethin' like that?"

Teeth grazed against your neck and a jolt of pleasurable lightning raced down your spine.

"Well... between you an' me... I've been very jealous, luv. 'Ere I thought some young bloke was gonna steal you away from us, from me, before I got to show you 'ow I felt about you..."

As his lips and teeth continued to explore your neck his hand grabbed yours and brought it down to palm at his tented trousers, the size of him made you gasp involuntarily and you felt his low rumbling laughter deep in his chest.

"S-simon... I've never had someone so... so... big before."

"Don't worry, sweet'eart... I'll take my time and show you 'ow a true gentleman treats a lady like yourself."

Simon picked you up with ease, walking the few steps to the bed and setting you down on the edge. No sooner had your backside met the mattress he was hiking up that short black dress over your thighs to expose the matching black lace panties you had worn.

"You were plannin' on spoilin' that bloke tonight, weren't you, sweet'eart? Or, an' correct me if I'm wrong..."

His thick, calloused fingers pressed against your clothed slit, finding your nub and rubbing it through the scant cotton and lace as his eyes locked onto yours again.

"...Or were you 'opin' that 'e'd left you alone and that this exact scenario would 'appen, you comin' back to base wantin' me to 'elp you feel better?"

"F-fuck, Simon... I... ahh... that's n-not what I was hoping for at all..."

He rolled his eyes, not believing you, and slid the panties aside to slide one finger inside to entice a moan from you.

"Christ! Fine, yes, I.. I wanted my date to be you tonight... but how am I supposed to bring that up? Just walk up to you and say "hey, LT, how's about a shag tonight after supper?""

That earned you a second finger inside and another laugh.

"I knew y' were a brat at trainin' but damn am I glad you aren't a shrinkin' violet in the bedroom. Makes this more fun."

For what felt like an eternity he slowly widened you in preparation for his shaft. Simon was a patient man, for the most part, but those moans and sounds you were making for him and him alone were wearing down that patience. Still, he had promised to treat you like a proper lady and only when he could slide three fingers inside easily did he stop his work.

"Do us a favor and clean these off for me, luv. My mouth 'as more important things t' do."

Unceremoniously he slid his slickened fingers into your mouth, making you taste yourself as he leaned down to bury his face between your legs. That tongue of his quickly found your nub and circled around it, alternating between that and his lips puckering around it to suck on it. The fingers in your mouth did nothing to muffle the noises he was coaxing from you as your thighs clamped down on either side of his head. Somewhere in the back of your mind you were cognizant of putting too much pressure on him but it was quickly drowned out by your building climax.

Simon felt it building in you as well; the way your thighs got tighter around his head, the throbbing of your nub in his mouth, and the quivering of your slit. In the mess of it all your hands had come down to grip his short hair, tugging on it as if trying to pull him closer.

"Tha's it, luv, cum for me."

Barely above the haze of lust you registered Simon's command as you felt yourself come undone for him. Your own slick mixing with his spit to coat your inner thighs as he lapped greedily at everything you had to give him. Eventually your orgasm began to subside and you took notice of him standing up from where he had knelt. The sound of leather on denim was barely audible above your panting, followed by a zipper being pulled down. Craning your head up off the mattress you finally saw his full length in the dim light of the room as he slowly rutted against your womanhood.

"I think y' should be ready for this, luv. But I wanna hear y' say it. Tell me 'ow badly y' need this inside..."

"I... fuck..."

Word were hard to come by in your lust filled haze, biting your lower lip in concentration you finally were able to articulate the words.

"Take me, Simon! I want every inch of that inside me now!"

"Needy, aren't ya? Don't worry, I got exactly wha' y' need roight... here..."

On that last syllable he slid his full length inside of you in one fluid stroke. You could swear he crashed up against the back of your womb with how big he was and before you could cry out he locked his lips onto yours, stifling any sound you made.

You two lay there connected, Simon not moving until you were used to him, for a few brief moments before he pulled away from the kiss to gaze into your eyes. You gave him a wordless nod to reassure him you were okay before he started his thrusting in earnest. Slow, full strokes to make sure you felt every inch of his desire for you.

"Been 'oping to 'ave y' like this for awhile now, sweet'eart.. sure when y' first started up 'ere I was skeptical..."

Your brain was barely paying attention to his words, still shrouded in a fog of lust. Simon, on the other hand, was talking to take his mind off the pleasure you were giving him so he could last longer than a few pumps.

"But after I saw y' toss Gaz an' Soap around in 'and t' 'and I thought maybe y' were alroight after all..."

Now even Simon was barely registering his own words as his thrusts started to pick up the pace, chasing his own orgasm as he felt your body tense under him while your second climax built up inside you.

His hands went from your hips to your own hands, lacing both your fingers together as he held your hands above your head and leaned down to kiss you again. There was a bit more force, a bit more need behind this one and with a low growl he slammed his hips against yours one more time, burying himself deep as he emptied into you. Your own climax hitting at the same time made it feel like your walls were milking him dry.

Both of you were spent after that; a sweaty mess of half clothed bodies that clung to each other tightly. He didn't want to pull out but he wanted to lay you on the bed proper, opting to slide himself out from between your legs and gingerly place you on the bed before laying down next to you. Once he was settled in beside you, your hands wrapped around him in a loose embrace as you rested your cheek on his chest, feeling the slow rise and fall from his breath.

A heavy arm draped over you, pulling you in tightly as you both lay there in the dark. Simon was the first to break the silence, kissing the top of your head.

"May not 'ave been a proper date, sweet'eart. But I promise we'll 'ave one eventually. Now get some sleep, I'll be 'ere in the mornin'."

[impossible-rat-babies]

i got tagged by @heartbrreak for this meme and im sure others have tagged me in this as well but you know :/

rules: answer 30 questions and tag 20 blogs you are contractually obligated to know better (i refuse to tag 20 ppl tho)

im gonna tag: @wayhavn, @trvelyans, @theodoresart, @lvllns, @rosykims, @rosebarsoap, @ava-du-mortain, @specialistagent-morgan, @vvakarians, @bitchesofostwick, @cullenvhenan, @dickeybbqpit and whomever else!

name/nickname: owen! my mum called me “bug” when i was younger and my friend calls me “owe-y” on occasion

gender: none pizza w left beef

star sign: gemini! (moon in aries and rising in virgo)

height: 5′2″ on a good day

time: 6:46pm!

birthday: june 10th

favorite bands: bastille, radical face & mother mother

favorite solo artist: oh mitski, dodie, & watsky

song stuck in my head: admit defeat -- bastille

last movie: lord of the rings: two towers! it’s extended edition or bust

last show: the crown! i watched it with my partner ages ago

when did you create this blog: record says like. 2013 yikes

what do I post: CLOWNERY jk it’s mostly oc art and writing with a splash of fan content and appreciating friends. cultivating the experience yo

last thing googled: true grit procreate. i was recommending a brush to someone on fb

do I get asks: yea and i appreciate em

why I chose my url: bc it’s just. fun? i like the way it sounds mostly. my description is a quote from fifth element though. i had reasons for my urls in the past but they’re gone by now lol

following: lol 378? i need to unfollow unactives tho

followers: 1,051 Yikes y’all need 2 leave

average hours of sleep: like. 8-9 ig

lucky number: i dunno. when i was younger i was edgy and said 13. but i like multiples of 5. it soothes the ocd

instruments: i used to know how to play the clarinet and tried to learn the guitar

what am I wearing: some uhhh army green joggers and a sweater my mom crocheted and gave me bc it was too big for her

dream job: a professional artist? idk i had the dream once to graduate and open my own printmaking shop. i still wanna work at one though, even if i don’t open my own

dream trip: i wanna go back to paris and visit the louvre, but honestly it smells like piss so *shrug* i do wanna go new zealand and i know it’s terrible, but i would like. sob/foam out the mouth if i got to do some lotr tour stuff

last book I read: i don’t read much that isn’t IF anymore and the last one i read was like. the mindblind update? idk it could’ve been the retri alpha or the shoh alpha

favorite food: coucous! or mashed potatoes. sensory processing disorder makes enjoying “complicated” foods hard. like i had a burger for dinner and only ate half of it bc it’s a “complicated” food

nationality: the clown country--america

favorite song: oh uhhhhh i don’t have one favorite, but like. quarter past midnight by bastille and baptisms by radical face rank up there (funny how they’re both like. otp songs rip. quarter past midnight for pollux and ortega and baptisms for jericho and ulysses)

top three fictional universes: oh fuck hmmm lord of the rings, legend of zelda, and dragon age (derogatory) 

[utilitycaster]

hello!! i just went thru your history of exandria post and im confused by the dates of the even of crimson midnight and the moleasmyr accident- in De'Leth's bio it says that he is one of those escaped elves and was also the founder of the assembly (ergo, was there for the Eve) so I think something is amiss... I also checked the dates, and Ludinus is an original member of the assembly. So how could he have fled Moleasmyr AFTER he'd already established the Assembly in Rexxentrum?

Hi!

Short, Doylist answer: Matthew Mercer is not superhuman and made a very understandable mistake.

Extremely long answer: Matthew Mercer is still not superhuman and still made a very understandable mistake (my guess is either he meant to put in 565 instead of 585 for the fall of Molaesmyr, or “not a half-century” for the date of the Eve of Crimson Midnight), but this, one of the the two biggest discrepancies in the history of Exandria* can both be handwaved (Watsonianed, if you will permit me turning that into a verb, and if you don’t I fully understand and probably deserve it) with a little bit of headcanon. Here is my headcanon which you are welcome to adopt, with dates, citations, and reasoning, below the jump.

Reasoning for the Date for the Eve of Crimson Midnight

So: the exact phrasing (Matthew Mercer, The Explorer’s Guide to Wildemount (Renton, WA: Wizards of the Coast, 2020), 16) for the Eve of Crimson Midnight is “Not a quarter century after the Marrow War ended....” blah blah, wizards fought, got captured and brought to the king, “After days of deliberation, an agreement was drawn up that would absolve those involved of the usual punishment in exchange for direct subservience to the Crown and the goals of the empire. Establishing themselves as the Cerberus Assembly, this council of mages became an powerful tool for the empire to maintain its position as the dominant force of Wildemount.”

“Not a quarter century” is something I’d personally interpret as “slightly less than 25 years later”; this is also the typical interpretation of that phrasing for most native English speakers, certainly native speakers of American English, which both I and the author of the book are, so we’re going with that.

The Marrow War has an explicit date given; the Admonition (execution of rebellious priests who were in turn spurred on by Julous Dominion interests) was in 544 PD (Mercer, p. 15) and later that year Emperor Manfried (the title of King rather than Emperor comes later) attacked the Julous Dominion, starting the Marrow War. It lasted “over sixteen months” which again I’d interpret as “more than 16 months, but probably not more than 17 otherwise you’d say that”, so depending on when the Admonition was, it ended in either late 545 PD, or early 546 PD. Not quite 25 years later would therefore put us in roughly 570 PD for the Eve of Crimson Midnight.

Reasoning for the Date of the Fall of Molaesmyr

This is much simpler! Per Mercer, p. 42: “What is known is that in the year 585 PD, suddenly and without warning, a wave of purple-gray shadow rapidly crept from the center of Molaesmyr to engulf the entire city.” It then goes on to describe that the elves fled, some “eventually” to settle Bysaes Tyl, some to Uthodurn.

Ludinus Da’leth’s personal history

Mercer, p. 42: “Ludinus is the oldest and only original member of the assembly...He was one of the mages who survived the destruction of Molaesmyr and fled to Bysaes Tyl, but he saw the opportunity to achieve greatness within the empire and left his culture behind to continue his arcane pursuits.”

A note on Bysaes Tyl

Per Mercer, p. 96, it took several years to build up the city, but for the sake of argument I am treating the region to which the elves of Molaesmyr originally fled as also Bysaes Tyl, thus indicating Ludinus may have only been there very briefly.

Here’s How Ludinus Can Still Be A Founding Member Of The Assembly

While the Eve of Crimson Midnight occurred circa 570 PD, as did the initial agreement that those involved would be directly subservient to the crown, it doesn’t actually indicate how long it took for those people to establish themselves as the Cerberus Assembly.

I would absolutely believe that a bunch of wizard academics who all tried to kill each other so hard they created collateral damage in the streets of Rexxentrum would absolutely take 15 years or more to consolidate a formal council and give it a cool name. In fact, can’t you just imagine it? Ludinus Da’leth, a promising young elven mage living in “the height of reborn civilization on Wildemount” (Mercer, p. 18) sees his home, his laboratories, everything he’s worked on, all destroyed. Perhaps it’s by his hand; perhaps by that of a colleague. He flees to a bitter cold forest with absolutely nothing. To the south, Rexxentrum stands as now the major site of arcane talent. Perhaps there’s been communication between the wizards of the Empire and those of Molaesmyr. Perhaps he’s heard that they are sworn in service to the king, but have been in disarray because they can’t elect a leader-after all, they’re in this position because “A number of noble houses with a strong history of studying arcane pursuits began to compete with other high-born magic practitioners from the Julous Dominion”. They can’t openly fight anymore, but the political games continue and neither those from within the pre-Marrow War boundaries of the Empire nor those from the recently-incorporated Julous Dominion can agree on council representation, and they’ve been deadlocked for over a decade. They have been serving the king, but he is becoming displeased.

Enter a neutral** third party: Ludinus Da’leth, formerly of Molaesmyr. A suitable compromise who just happened to make his way south - a gifted mage, eager to prove his allegiance to the Dwendalian crown and share what he knows. And so: the founding of the Cerberus Assembly, 15-20 years after the Eve of Crimson Midnight and shortly after the fall of Molaesmyr, following an uneasy interim period of mages in slightly disorganized service to the crown. And scene.

*the other big discrepancy is that the Chroma Conclave was stated to be in the year 815 PD on page 20 of the Explorer’s Guide to Wildemount, but in Campaign 1 episode 103 a minor NPC when asked for the date says the year is 812, which would instead put the Chroma Conclave in the last few days 810 PD per the dates given. However, since the month and day that NPC gives also don’t line up internally even with the other stated events of Campaign 1, and since using a date of late 810 for the Chroma Conclave would make Allura pretty young when she sealed away Thordak and conflicts with a bunch of dates mentioned since, including Delilah Briarwood’s expulsion from the Cerberus Assembly, Vilya’s time on Rumblecusp, and The Darrington Brigade’s stand against Quackthulu, I’m personally inclined to say “Matt probably didn’t have the date written down when asked, because it was episode 103 and the exact year had not been relevant so far, and/or misread 817 for 812 when looking down at his notes.” The headcanon to fix this is of course that the NPC got the date wrong and Vox Machina either didn’t realize due to *gestures vaguely at the events of episode 102* or was like wait are we in the past? seems fake and then asked someone else offscreen and got the right date, which is way less fun but much easier.

**technically, lawful, although who knows what his alignment was then. If you also buy into theories that Ludinus was in some way responsible for the fall of Molaesmyr you get some fascinating parallels to one similarly opportunistic and ambitious Hot Boi, and yes I did make a really stupid alignment joke just to make this point.

[january-glooms]

one song for every letter of the alphabet :))

chai tea i love you! this took so long, but it was fun

A is for...

Anchor by Cailee Rae (is in my calm me down playlist)

B is for...

Back In Black by AC/DC (the amount of times i say im back (in black) should be illegal)

C is for...

Can't Help It by Anarbor (once again i blame lils for that one)

D is for...

Don't Let Go (Love) by En Vogue (fight me this song is everything)

E is for...

Exhale by Sabrina Carpenter (i am this song and this song is me)

F is for...

Feelings by Hayley Kiyoko (shut. just shhh let me listen)

G is for...

Good As Hell by Lizzo (anything by lizzo is great)

H is for...

Hum Hallelujah by FOB (my entire summer was listening to this album, i swear)

I is for...

I Want You Back by The Jackson 5 (f i g h t m e)

J is for...

Juice by Lizzo (i l o v e lizzo okay)

K is for...

Kryptonite by 3 Doors Down (i loveeeee)

L is for...

Like A Girl by Lizzo (a lizzo song for the letter l? shocking i know...)

M is for...

Miss Jackson by P!ATD feat. LOLO (this was my most listened to song in 2018)

N is for...

New York (Handles Heartbreak Better) by Peg Parnevik (i love this song so much)

O is for...

One More Weekend by Against The Current (i love this album by them okay, sue me)

P is for...

Paris (Ooh La La) by Grace Potter & The Nocturnals (lovelovelove)

Q is for...

Quarter Past Midnight by Bastille (hmm you said something?)

R is for...

Respect by Aretha Franklin (this speaks for itself)

S is for...

Salaam Namaste from Salaam Namaste (f i g h t m e)

T is for...

Two Voices, One Song from Barbie & The Diamond Castle (listen this is my fault, i made that post and now this soundtrack is stuck in my head, i am totally not thinking about zee rn, not at all)

U is for...

Uma Thurman by FOB (one of my favorite songs)

V is for...

Verleden Tijd by Frenna feat. Lil Kleine (i don’t listen to dutch music but i had to have at least one)

W is for...

Waterfalls by TLC (are you gonna oppose me?)

X is for...

X-Kid by Green Day (it took me so long to find a song and then i remembered this one)

Y is for...

You Give Love A Bad Name by Bon Jovi (i loved when this was in himym)

Z is for...

Zombie by The Cranberries (soooo gooooood)

[m-feys]

Every Queen Song in Good Omens but it’s Bastille

there’s also this Good omens but it’s Paramore that I did a bit ago! I am Extremely not the first person to do this, I linked the posts that kicked it off in my paramore version but there are even more than that now! There’s a whole blog dedicated to them! (and as far as I’m aware Im the first person to do this with bastille)

Bohemian Rhapsody (Crowley’s entrance) / Icarus (Standing on the cliff face, highest fall you'll ever grace / It scares me half to death / Look out to the future, but it tells you nothing / So take another breath)

These Are the Days of Our Lives (Crowley and Aziraphale driving) / Quarter Past Midnight (And you said we'd leave this place in dust / And fall from heaven straight through hell / We never know what we have / We never knew what we had)

Bicycle Race (Crowley hits Anathema with his car) / These Streets (Oh, we have paved these streets / With moments of defeat / But even if we won't admit it to ourselves / We'll walk upon these streets and think of little else)

You’re My Best Friend (Crowley arrives at the burning bookshop) / Joy (Take a walk through the wreckage, clearing out my head / I hear your eyes roll right down the phone / I'm your walking disaster, keep on dragging me / From self-pity, poor me)

Somebody to Love (Crowley leaving the burning bookshop) / Things We Lost In The Fire (I read them all one day / When loneliness came and you were away / Oh, they told me nothing new / But I love to read the words you use)

Another One Bites the Dust (Crowley stuck in traffic) / Bad Decisions (And if we're going down in flames / Take a bow for the bad decisions that we made / Bad decisions that we made)

I’m In Love with My Car (the M25) / Pompeii (Oh, where do we begin, the rubble or our sins? / But if you close your eyes / Does it almost feel like nothing changed at all?)

We Will Rock You (Crowley’s airbase entrance) / Blame ('Cause your body’s a message / Send my regards to hell / Fall upon your knees, sing / ‘This is my body and soul here’)

BONUS: A Nightingale Sang in Berkeley Square (Ending) / Glory (There's no looking up for heaven / Looking up for heaven / I'll take my chances on the curb here with you / We watched the planes leave us behind)

[tobacconist]

decided to wear a rubber devil mask on my usual midnight walk with my dog tonight.

there werent many cars about unfortunately, but i stared creepily at every one which did drive past

it was an extra long walk, because it is a special night. crossing the crossroads eachway on the way there and back / \ , and then to st marys graveyard in redacted to smoke a spliff and contemplate, and then i walked through redacted village for a bit, checking out the pumpkins and halloween decorations.

on the way there i saw a pumpkin sat on the old well in the village square with a 5p coin on it. i felt like i should put another there, but i only had one penny which i had brought to pay at the gates of the graveyard, and a few pound coins in my wallet. i respectfully nodded and then walked on. a bit later i saw a collection of marvelously pumpkins, one very artfully carved into what put me in mind of a cheshire cat. i decided to hide a pound coin amongst them.

then i came to the graveyard. i bowed at the gates and wedged the penny in the the left post of the gate and then entered with my dog. he was very good, and did not piss on a single grave; only on trees and boundrymarkers. well mannered boy. it seems theyve removed the bench in the middle of the graveyard which i enjoyed sitting at before, so i made a few circuits and then sat at the one by the entrance to smoke.

i sat reminiscing about all the times me and my old schoolfriends used to hang out at the graveyard. i do not know anyone buried there, but it is a place which is very special to me. it often appears in my dreams, and i try to visit there atleast every halloween. as i left i placed a flower i had plucked earlier on my journey on the right post of the gate.

on the way back i walked past a taxi full of youths who started filming me and hootin n hollerin. i waved and gave a thumbs up. i want to find the video, wonder if/where they poasted it. i hope i gave them a bit of halloween joy.

the moon was shining very bright tonight, a bright full moon, a blue moon; she is in taurus apparently.

overall i think the walk was just under two hours, i set off about quarter past midnight, as i left the graveyard the churchbells chimed two, and it was about 3 when i got back

yes, tonight is a special night. im feelin good :¬) 

[hyucks-archive]

uncertainty.

word count: 10.2k

genre: fluff, kind of pest-to-lovers!au

member(s): donghyuck, ft. mark, renjun, jeno, jaemin, & jungwoo

warning(s): none, but probably bad language and typos...

author’s note: im embarrassed to post this thats all i gotta say i aint proud of it

“… as mentioned in the above statement…�� you murmured under your breath while you continued to type out your essay. It was a quarter past midnight, and you were nearing the end of your 5,000-word essay. A cup of tea beside your laptop, papers sprawled across the table, a textbook resting on your lap, your hair in a messy bun, and your spectacles sliding down the bridge of your nose, you couldn’t wait to call it a day and finally crawl into bed to get the well-deserved rest you needed.

“Done!” you exclaimed, stretching your arms out and throwing your head back in a mini celebration. You could feel a chill run down your spine, the tension in your body being released now that you were finally moving after remaining stationary in the same position for the past five hours.

Slapping the textbook shut, you placed it on the floor beside you. “Save,” you murmured, fingers moving fast to click the ‘save’ option on your laptop. With the essay out of the way, you put your computer to sleep, picking up the cup of tea and gulping down whatever remained. Getting up, you retrieved the tissues and snack wrappers to discard of them.

Just as you were about to put on rubber gloves to do the dishes, the welcoming shouts of two familiar voices hit your ear – the neighbours were at it again. You decide that you were in a good enough mood, having completed your essay, so you didn’t need to bother with them. Sliding on the yellow rubber gloves, you turned on the tap and began doing the dishes.

“You’re being unreasonable!” Donghyuck shouted.

“Says you? You don’t even know how stubborn and unbearable you are,” said Renjun.

You continued to listen as the two voices went back and forth, insulting each other in the most childish ways possible. You rolled your eyes, “Peace and quiet, peace and quiet, peace and quiet…” you chanted, trying to hypnotise yourself into believing that all will be fine within a few minutes. That was usually the length of their arguments anyway.

You placed the last dish up on the drying rack, removing the rubber gloves and hanging them up to dry. You cleaned your hands with a kitchen towel, getting ready to do your stretches. You closed your eyes, calming yourself in order to get into the right state of mind to really relax and meditate with your stretching.

“Are you being serious right now?!” you hear Renjun exclaim.

You groaned internally; with how loud they were being, there was no way you were going to be able to focus on yourself. Huffing, you decide enough was enough, and you needed to put a stop to their ridiculous ruckus. It honestly baffled you how the other neighbours were able to tolerate the bickering of the two guys. It wasn’t like it was a rare occurrence, it literally happened every night or two. Granted, it usually ended within a few minutes, but tonight, it was going on for way too long.

Swinging your front door open, you looked up to meet eyes with the blonde-haired boy and the brown-headed boy, both of whom, had their attention on you, who had made an unexpected appearance in the middle of their battle. Renjun raises an eyebrow questioningly. You notice that he eyes you up and down, to which you remembered, you weren’t exactly in a very presentable state right now, with your messy hair and loose, crumpled t-shirt, paired with your floral pants. It didn’t really help that you had two modules in common with Donghyuck, and one module in common with Renjun at university, and that you guys were all close friends.

“Uh, yeah, hi, hello,” you begin, feeling a little self-conscious because of their stares. “Yeah, you guys are really annoying. If you’re going to fight, please don’t do it right outside my door,” you finish, flashing an awkward, pursed-lip smile. You gesture towards their door, “Maybe go in there and fight instead.”

You bowed politely, having said what you wanted to say. You stepped back into your house, pulling the door to shut it, but you couldn’t complete the action as Donghyuck reaches out a hand to hold onto the edge of the door. You stare at his hand, your eyes travelling up his arm to meet eyes with him. You furrowed your brows, trying your best to keep a polite smile. “What is it?” you managed out, almost through clenched teeth.

“Since you’re out anyway, you be the judge of this,” he says, pulling your door wide open. You stumble forward with his sudden action, your hand still wrapped tightly around the door handle. He mumbles an “Oops,” as though that would make anything better.

“Look, I really don’t want to be involved in your fi-”

Before you could even finish your sentence, Renjun began to explain the situation excitedly. You listened with your fists clenched, your lips pursed, and your eyes shifting everywhere. The only thing you really wanted right now, was to return to your home, to get the sleep that you were very much deprived of. You weren’t interested in getting involved in a petty fight between two obviously, relatively grown guys.

“Hyuck told me to take out the trash, and so I did. I took it out, like I do all the time, because he’s a lazy ass who doesn’t want to help out with chores around the house. But that’s fine, that’s not what this fight is about. So anyway, I throw out the trash, right? And now, he’s claiming, he lost his earpiece, and that I’m at fault because I took the damn trash out like he requested, when his earpiece could potentially be somewhere in the trash,” he finishes with a huff, hands on his waist, weight resting on one foot. He glares at Donghyuck angrily.

Donghyuck retorts, “My earpiece could’ve been in the trash, and I could’ve retrieved it fine if you hadn’t taken out the trash, dimwit.”

You rolled your eyes – you really could not believe these two guys were fighting over something as petty as thrown out trash and a lost earpiece. The two began to raise their voices at each other once again. In frustration, you put both hands out between the two of them, gesturing for them both to just shut their mouths for a second.

“Alright, both of you. Wait here. And try to keep quiet,” you say, finishing your sentence with a hint of desperation in your voice. You went back into your apartment, heading straight to the room, where your bag was. You reached into it and looked for your earpiece, grabbing it, before heading back to the corridor, where the two were thankfully quiet, and patiently waiting for you, just as you had instructed.

“Here,” you say, holding out the earpiece in front of Donghyuck. “Just take this, and stop this stupid argument.”

The brown-headed boy stares at the wire in your hands. He looks up at you, both brows raised, clearly surprised that you were giving your earpiece to him so willingly. You raised your hand higher, urging for him to take it. He doesn’t move, and neither does Renjun. This frustrated you even more.

“I’m offering a solution, take it,” you say, grabbing Donghyuck by the pocket of his jacket. You shoved the earpiece into his pocket, pushing him away once you were done. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’d like to sleep. So, shut up and stop arguing,” you say, grabbing both of them by the shoulders and turning them towards their door. You shoved both of them forward, before turning around to enter your apartment, closing the door behind you. Donghyuck stares at his pocket that held your earpiece – the first item of yours he’s ever touched.

You headed straight for your bedroom, plopping down onto the comfortable mattress, which was everything you needed at the moment. For the rest of the night, as you drifted off to sleep, there were no more disturbances from the corridor.

With your messenger bag slung over your shoulder, and your textbooks hugged tightly against your chest, you made your way to the first lecture of the day. You were running on about four hours of sleep, thanks to having to deal with the ruckus last night, but you weren’t feeling as low on energy as you usually would. In fact, you were feeling quite energised.

Picking a seat that was at the far left of the lecture hall, where you were out of sight from the lecturer, you placed your books down on the table, seating yourself comfortably into the seat. You pulled out your laptop from your bag, placing it on the table. There was still approximately thirteen minutes left before the lecture would commence, so you whipped out your phone and began scrolling through social media, looking at the eventful lives of your friends.

Just as you were getting more engrossed in the content of your phone, the strong aroma of matcha tea tickles your sense of smell. You looked up to see a cup of matcha tea inches away from your face. Holding on to the cup was a familiar hand – the image of the same hand holding on to the edge of your door flashes in your brain. Sure enough, connected to the cup was Donghyuck. You noticed that he had your earpiece plugged into his ears, his expression nonchalant.

He removes a bud, “Just a sign of gratitude,” he says, pushing the cup of matcha forward. You take it from him, “Thanks,” you murmur, locking your phone and placing it on the table. You wrapped your fingers around the cup, eyes fixed on the front of the lecture hall, trying to analyse Donghyuck’s next action through your peripheral vision.

He removes his haversack and places it on the table, sliding into the seat next to you. This was extremely unusual and uncomfortable for you; you have always been the loner kid who sat alone in all lectures. Having someone sit beside you gave you an unexplainable pressure. Yes, the two of you were friends, but he’s never sat beside you, like ever. You continued to monitor him through the corner of your eye. He opens his bag and pulls out the textbooks for the lecture. He takes off the other bud, detaches the wire from his phone, and rolls it up neatly. He shoves the earpiece into his pocket, taking out a pen and opening a notebook.

“Where’s your laptop?” you asked. You immediately pursed your lips together, mentally slapping yourself. You didn’t mean to actually ask the question, you just thought of it. But before you could even stop yourself, the words had already left your mouth.

“I don’t like to use one,” he replies, turning to face you. You look at him questioningly, “What do you mean? You write all your notes?”

The boy flips through the pages of his notebook, showing you glimpses of the notes he had taken in the past lectures. Your mouth parts ever so slightly, surprised that he indeed, took all of his notes down physically.

“Isn’t that so inefficient though?” you question, leaning forward, away from the backrest of the chair. You were intrigued, because you’ve never seen anyone who still used a pen and paper for lectures. Usually, the professor would speak so fast, that even you, who typed all of your notes, couldn’t keep up. “Not really, I like it better this way,” he replies. He brings an arm up to the table and propped it, resting his chin on his palm. It was one of the rare conversations where Donghyuck was being nice and not snappy with his words, which was nice for a change.

The chattering in the lecture hall comes to a stop when the professor struts in. You readjust your position to face the front, opening your laptop and getting yourself into attention, in order to fully focus during the course of the lecture.

The lecture passes faster than usual, and surprisingly, you weren’t as conscious as you believed yourself to be with Donghyuck seated next to you. You always expected yourself to be wary of people looking at the screen of your laptop, judging you for the short forms you used or the things you chose to note down, but Donghyuck didn’t seem to care one bit. He had his head turned away from you the whole time, completely focused on scribbling down all the information that exited the professor’s mouth. In fact, at certain points of the lecture, when you didn’t manage to catch what the lecturer said, Donghyuck had all the answers. You couldn’t understand how his physical and manual way of note-taking seemed to be more efficient than your technological method.

“I’m glad you liked the matcha,” Donghyuck says, getting up from his seat. You looked at the cup of tea that was now empty, the remains of matcha powder at the bottom. “Oh, I prefer tea to coffee,” you say. He nods his head, “Ditto.”

Donghyuck slings a strap of his haversack over his shoulder. You, on the other hand, was still busy cleaning up your notes. You noticed his presence that remained next to you, “Aren’t you going to leave?” you asked, turning to look at him.

“What about you?”

You turned back to your screen, resuming typing as your fingers moved quickly around the keyboard. “I’ll leave when I’m done with this,” you say. Donghyuck doesn’t say anything, and continues to remain beside you. You didn’t have to turn to look to know that he was probably staring at your screen, which was making you feel pressured and self-conscious once again. You hunched forward, trying to use your small frame to block your screen as much as possible, even though your efforts were probably useless. To Donghyuck, it was simply another one of your interesting antics.

“I’m not reading anything,” he says, startling you. “What?” you voiced, to which he simply replies, “Just type in peace. I’m not looking.”

You nod your head and continued to type away at your laptop, ignoring the questions that were forming in your brain. It was like he could read what you were trying to do, what you were thinking in your head, and that undeniably creeped you out a little. Approximately twenty minutes go by, and you were finally done with the tidying up of your notes. Putting your laptop to sleep, you closed the cover and slid it back into your bag, getting up from your seat.

Donghyuck leads the way and you follow behind him. Soon enough, you see Renjun waiting patiently for the two of you, a leg propped against the metal railing, a hand in his pocket. He looks up and greets Donghyuck with their usual handshake, seemingly having made up since the argument yesterday.

“Sorry about last night,” Renjun says, smiling sheepishly. You roll your eyes, “You guys seriously need to stop fighting. I’m going to file an official complaint if you keep this up,” you say. Renjun nods his head, promising that’ll he’ll try to keep it down next time. “I don’t know about Hyuck, though,” he says, flashing a taunting smile at his friend.

Donghyuck rolls his eyes, “You’re the one who starts all the fights.”

You groaned, attracting the attention of both boys. They look at you questioningly, to which you say, “Let’s just hurry up and meet the rest. I don’t want to get caught up in your fight again.”

The three of you head out of campus towards the usual hangout spot – a pizza parlour just down the road. The other three, Mark, Jaemin, and Jeno, were already seated in the usual booth, waiting for the three of you. The guys greet each other, and you flash a smile, waving hello to your friends as well. You slid in beside Mark, Donghyuck sliding in next to you, while Renjun takes a seat next to Jaemin and Jeno.

“We heard the two of you were at it again?” Jeno begins, nudging Renjun in the rib. The blonde boy flashes a glare at you, to which you held up both hands in defence, “It’s not me, I said nothing.” You took the menu and looked at it, detaching yourself from the sticky situation ahead. You feel Donghyuck flinch and move closer to you; he was crouched over, his knee against his chest. You didn’t need to see it to know that Renjun must’ve gotten physical again.

“It wasn’t Donghyuck,” Jeno cuts in, holding onto Renjun and holding out a hand warily, just in case Donghyuck chose to launch an attack as well. “We could tell from just your faces,” Jaemin said from the corner, looking up at Mark, “Ready to order?”

Mark nods, pressing the bell to call for the waiter. While Donghyuck and Renjun were exchanging threatening glares, the waiter comes over and takes the order, leaving once he was done. The group broke out into small conversations, with Renjun and Jeno engrossed in their own conversation, while Mark, Jaemin, and yourself, held another conversation. Donghyuck, on the other hand, was just scrolling through his phone, occasionally eavesdropping on the two ongoing conversations.

“I heard that a really cute kid will be joining us next week,” Jaemin dishes, taking a sip of his cola. You raised your brows at that, “Cute kid? What do you mean?”

Donghyuck notices how excited you were getting at the mention of a cute kid. His ears perked up as he tried to listen in on the conversation.

“My friend is coming over to visit,” Mark says, “His name is Jungwoo. A really sweet guy who also happens to be really cute and popular,” he finishes, flashing a smile of satisfaction at the end. “I don’t believe you,” you say, scrunching your face up in suspicion, “You could never have cool friends.”

Jaemin gasps at the comment, with Mark holding a hand to his chest to show that he was hurt. You laughed, and as you did, Donghyuck made another mental note – that you’d smile and be happy with other people, but you never seemed to hold the same emotions around him. Granted, the two of you never actually held an actual conversation before, since you guys were only acquainted because of your common group of friends, but given how distant and cold you behaved around him, it surprised him that you even had the facial muscles to smile.

“How long will Jungwoo be in town?” you asked.

“Probably a week or two, depends,” Mark replies.

You nod your head, drawing yourself out of the conversation when Jaemin and Mark began to talk about other stuff that you couldn’t relate to. You turned your head, to notice Donghyuck, who was still scrolling through his phone silently.

“Maybe try to be more social?” you say, lifting your legs up onto the seat, crossing them comfortably.

“Maybe try to give me personal space?” he replies, pointing at your knee that was hovering over his thigh. You rolled your eyes, dropping your legs back down, your feet hitting the ground. There it was again, his rude replies. “At least I’m not the one interested in a random guy that I haven’t even met,” Donghyuck murmurs under his breath. Unfortunately, you had sharp ears, and his comment didn’t go unheard.

“That’s none of your business,” you snapped.

The conversation ended there, just as the waiter returned with three pans of pizza. Donghyuck makes a mental note to stop being reckless around you. He needed to learn to say more things he meant, and less things he didn’t mean.

As the six of you began to dig in, Mark brings up the topic of Jungwoo to inform the rest of the pact that he’d be joining for a week or two.

“Let’s do something fun, then,” Jeno states, taking a big bite of his pizza. “Why don’t we go to an amusement park or something? Those will be fun,” Renjun suggests. Jaemin nods his head excitedly, “I’m so for the idea of an amusement park.”

Mark looks over you, at Donghyuck, who was just sipping at his cola.

“What do you think, Hyuck?”

Donghyuck nods his head and agrees to it, “I’m sure he’ll enjoy it,” was what he said.  

A week goes by quickly, and the day of meeting Mark’s friend, Jungwoo, arrives. The group agreed to meet directly at the amusement park, which meant you would be carpooling with Renjun and Donghyuck, since the two of them literally lived opposite you. You waited patiently in front of their door, shuffling from the inside of the apartment completely audible to you. Within seconds, the door opens and you’re greeted by Renjun, who flashes a small smile at you, “y/n,” he greets.

He leads the way to the carpark, naturally going for the driver’s seat, since he was the only one with a license among the three of you. You stood at the bonnet of the car, to which Donghyuck questions, “What the hell are you doing? Get in.”

“I’m being considerate,” you retort, “Do you want to sit at the front or the back?”

Donghyuck rolls his eyes and heads straight for the backseat, ignoring you. He knew you preferred sitting at the front, so he yielded. But you weren’t aware of his good intentions, and simply took his actions as a sign of him being rude, as usual. You huffed, stomping your feet as you walked towards the passenger seat, opening the door and getting in. You buckled your seatbelt.

Renjun accelerates, and you could already feel the tensed-up atmosphere in the car. Did the two of them fight again? You weren’t sure. Deciding that Renjun was the more approachable one of the two, you whisper, “Are you guys in another argument?”

Before Renjun could reply, Donghyuck speaks up from the back, “No. And I can still hear you.”

You whipped your head to look at him. He had his eyes closed, his body slouched against the seat. Renjun chuckles at Donghyuck’s reply, “He’s just tired. He didn’t sleep much last night.” You nod your head and turned back around, focusing on the scenery of the drive. You hadn’t gotten much sleep yourself.

While you were excited to be spending the day with your friends at a theme park, you were also scared to death, because you weren’t good with rides. When you were young, and you got onto the first kids’ rollercoaster of your life, you finished the ride with your face completely green. The second time you visited an amusement park with your uncle, he had brought you onto the Viking, where you sat at the extreme end, and almost screamed your entire soul out. Not to mention, you also had motion sickness, so rides like the merry-go-round and bumper cars meant headaches. One could say you just weren’t meant for the amusement park, but you still enjoyed it.

Within 40 minutes, the three of you arrived at the parking lot of the theme park.

“I’ll drop you guys here first. Go get tickets, I’ll park the car,” Renjun says, pulling up by the ticketing counter. You unbuckle your seatbelt, turning behind to see Donghyuck still sound asleep. You were about to reach out to shake his knee, but he jolts awake to Renjun’s voice before you could do anything.

“Hyuck, go get tickets with y/n,” he says. Donghyuck doesn’t say anything. He simply opens the door and gets off.

“See you in a little,” you tell Renjun, getting off the car yourself. Donghyuck gets in line while you watch Renjun drive off. You joined him immediately after, the both of you simply waiting in line in silence. Donghyuck had his arms folded. He coughed twice, clearing his throat, his face scrunching up in discomfort. You figured his throat must be feeling dry because of his sleep, so you reach into your bag for water. Holding the bottle out in front of him, he stares at it. He murmurs a, “Thanks,” before grabbing it from you and gulping down enough to moisten his throat.

The rest of the wait was silent, and there were no further interactions between you and Donghyuck. Renjun joins the two of you a few minutes after you guys successfully purchased the tickets. Soon after, Mark, Jeno, Jaemin, and an unfamiliar, orange-haired boy, whom you assumed to be Jungwoo, arrived.

“Guys, this is Jungwoo. Jungwoo, this is y/n, Renjun, and Donghyuck,” Mark introduces, gesturing to each of you as he said your names. Jungwoo flashes a shy smile and fist bumps Renjun and Donghyuck, while he bowed to greet you. You smiled – he was definitely cute. Not your kind of guy, but still, cute.

“You guys got the tickets?” Jeno asks, holding his hand out. You nod your head, and gesture towards Donghyuck who was holding on to the tickets. He begins to hand one out to everyone, “Let’s start with the rollercoaster guys,” Renjun says, leading the pact. Everyone cheers in unison and agreement, to which you simply mouthed, “Yay.” You could already feel your palms sweating.

The seven of you headed for the biggest attraction in the park – the death rollercoaster. It had three dips, one three-sixty turn, a whole course where you’d be hanging upside down, and that to you, meant an absolute nightmare. But you didn’t want to be a party pooper, neither did you want to become the laughing stock of the group who couldn’t handle a measly rollercoaster, so you dragged your feet as you followed behind the pact, dreading as you approached the ride.

“This is going to be awesome,” Jeno says. Mark and Jungwoo were engaged in their own conversation at the front, while Renjun seemed to be regretting his decision of choosing the rollercoaster as the first stop. He was already clinging onto Jaemin.

“I can’t believe you’re already scared,” Jaemin mocked, to which Renjun defends with, “W-who said I was scared?” Jaemin rolls his eyes, pointing to Renjun’s arms that were grasping on tightly to Jaemin’s arms. “You’re literally worse than a cicada.”

Jeno, Donghyuck, and you burst into laughter at that, making Renjun curl back in embarrassment. He sulks and follows Jaemin as the line advances, leaving Jeno, Donghyuck, and yourself to have a conversation of your own. Jeno does a headcount and realises that you guys were an odd number, which meant someone had to sit with a stranger.

“Who’s going to do it?” Jeno asks, looking towards Donghyuck. He shrugs. Jeno drops his gaze unto you, to which you shrugged yourself too. Jeno nods his head, “Got it, I’ll do it.”

You don’t protest, even though you didn’t exactly like the idea of having to sit with Donghyuck, when you could already feel your legs becoming jelly. You’d much rather get on the ride with Jeno beside you, but you weren’t really in the mood to be pushy right now. You were just grateful you were able to sit beside someone you knew, just in case.

“Are you guys scared?” Mark calls, looking at the three of you. You shook your head, forcing a smile, “Not at all,” you lie.

While everyone believed you to be a strong-hearted being who wasn’t afraid of anything, Donghyuck noticed how your fists were clenched, and how you kept shifting your weight from one foot to the other. He notices the beads of sweat that were beginning to form on your forehead, which was odd, since it was still winter. “Is she scared?” he wonders to himself, continuing to monitor you. You were definitely behaving weird compared to your usual, nonchalant ways.

Before you knew it, it was already your turn to get onto the ride. You followed behind Renjun, who got in next to Jaemin. The operator gestures you towards the seats behind Jaemin and Renjun, and you get in first, with Donghyuck following behind. Jeno gets separated from the rest of you because the only other solo rider was at the back of the carriage.

You could feel your heart beat spiralling up, the fear starting to consume your entire being. You fidgeted with your hands nervously, grabbing at your fingers and squeezing tight, until your hand went white due to the lack of blood circulation. You looked around anxiously, trying to calm yourself down.

Donghyuck notices all of this. At this point, he was affirmative that you were scared, whether you wanted to admit it or not. Just as the carriage clasps backwards, signifying the start of the ride, both of your hands rushed to grabbed onto the bar, desperate for your dear life. Without thinking twice, Donghyuck reaches over, grabbing your hand and holding it firmly in his. You don’t look over, and honestly, you don’t even process this, because your eyes were shut tight and all that filled your mind was the rapid beating of your heart. The only thing you cared about right now was for the ride to be over.

Donghyuck intertwines his fingers with yours, resting your hand on his lap. He soothes his thumb over your skin, in an attempt to comfort you, to let you know that he was there. Obviously, given the nature of your relationship, that wouldn’t mean much to you, but he figured, that was the only way he could help you feel at least a little bit better during the ride.

As the carriage goes up the steep climb, you subconsciously found yourself leaning towards Donghyuck. Your free hand that was originally grabbing onto the bar, moves to grasp onto Donghyuck’s arm instead. With your head nuzzled in his chest, you kept your eyes shut tight, the approach to the highest point of the ride almost killing you on the inside.

Donghyuck feels his heart beat pick up its pace, not because of the anticipation of the ride, but because of the close proximity you were in. He didn’t want to admit it, and he never did, but you’ve always made him feel some type of way. Sure, he was snarky and curt with his words, but he felt that that was the only way you’d notice him. Even though you were constantly irritable around him, he still felt special with the fact that at least you treated him differently than the rest.

He allows you to cling onto him throughout the ride, neither of you letting out a sound. Within three minutes, the carriage takes its final loop, slowing down significantly as it approaches the exit point. You were breathing heavily, and you were barely conscious. Everything had happened so fast, but you knew you needed to regain your composure immediately so that the rest wouldn’t notice how scared you were on the ride. You immediately unlatch yourself from Donghyuck, to his disappointment, and you began to fix your hair, licking your lips to give them some moisture and colour.

The ride comes to a stop, and the bar gets lifted. Donghyuck exits first. He notices how you stumbled when you tried to stand. He guessed your legs were still weak from fear of the ride, so he extends a hand. You look up to meet eyes with him for a brief second, before taking his hand as he pulls you out, holding on to your waist to stabilise your posture, before retracting his hands immediately when the pact regroups.

“Damn, that was awesome!” Jeno exclaims, throwing his arms out in the air. “Wish I could say the same,” Renjun pants, looking faint. The guys laugh at him, “You’re such a loser,” Donghyuck comments, hitting Renjun’s arm, causing him to stumble. Luckily for him, Jaemin had caught him before he fell.

Right. If Donghyuck thought Renjun’s a loser for getting off the ride looking like he lost his soul, how much more of a loser did he think you were with how you were literally clinging onto him desperately for your life throughout the whole ride?

“How was it?” Mark directs the question to you. You smile, “It was fun,” you say, briefly looking over at Donghyuck, who wasn’t even looking at you. He was busy fooling around with Jeno.

“Let’s go for the Viking next,” Mark suggests, to which the rest immediately agreed. You followed behind the group as they headed for the next monster ride, preparing your heart for yet another round of torture. You figured it was going to be even harder to hide your terror this time round, since unlike the rollercoaster, on the Viking, you’d be seated in a row together.

Donghyuck strays behind the group as well, walking at a pace similar to yours.

You break the silence with, “You held my hand first,” because you wanted to defend yourself. You didn’t want him to know that you trusted him in the few minutes on the ride, and you didn’t want him to know that you were extremely grateful that he was beside you throughout the ride.

“I didn’t say anything,” he replies, shoving his hands into his pockets.

You didn’t want to say anything, but you knew that you had to, if you didn’t want the rest of the group knowing how much of a coward you are. But before you could even open your mouth to ask Donghyuck for a favour, he says, “Nothing happened on that ride.”

You blinked thrice; was Donghyuck voluntarily keeping your embarrassing behaviour a secret for you? That was odd, even for him. No matter how unpredictable he was, you never expected him to be sensitive to others. Before you could even give another comment, the group arrives in line of the Viking. Mark turns around to involve you and Donghyuck in a conversation.

You watched as Donghyuck’s face brightens up with a smile as he engages in a conversation with Jungwoo and Mark, something you’ve never seen before. To you, Donghyuck, although bubbly and extroverted, was equally cold and reserved, his different sides coming out at different timings. In front of you, though, it was only ever cold and reserved. He giggles as he continues speaking with Jungwoo, and you hadn’t realised you had stared for too long, until Mark whispers, “What happened on that ride that’s got you charmed?”

You immediately snap back to your senses, shoving Mark lightly, “What do you mean?”

“You’re not looking at Hyuck with eyes of hate like you usually do,” Mark says, wiggling his eyebrows. You roll your eyes, smiling as you replied, “I don’t hate Donghyuck. I just don’t particularly favour him, that’s all.”

Mark hums, a teasing smile plastered on his face, “Sure, y/n. I believe you,” he says, to which you smacked his arm, “I’m serious, Mark.”

The topic gets dropped when Mark’s attention is taken away from you, to focus on Jaemin, who had called for him. Your eyes find their way back to Donghyuck, who was still engrossed in a conversation with Jungwoo. You started to doubt yourself; did you really dislike Donghyuck as much as you thought? Maybe Mark was right, but then again, Mark is also one of the most oblivious people you’ve met, so naturally, he wasn’t the most credible person when it comes to reading people.

As you got lost in thought once again, Donghyuck looks over and engages in eye contact with you, to which you immediately looked away, shaking your head to rid your mind of those silly thoughts. Your dynamics with Donghyuck was supposed to be mean and hostile, and it is going to remain that way. That’s just how the two of you functioned.

The line continued to advance, and soon enough, it was your turn to get onto the Viking. As you trailed behind Mark, with Jungwoo and Donghyuck behind you, the boys got onto the extreme end of the boat, one by one. As Mark was getting on, Donghyuck reaches out and grabs onto your hand, stopping you in your tracks. You turned to look at him, but he doesn’t look at you.

He gestures for Jungwoo to get onto the ride first, his grip on you disappearing almost as sudden as it had come onto you. He gets in after Jungwoo, and you follow after him, settling in the seat at the extreme corner. You weren’t sure why Donghyuck had done that, but you realised why, when he sits himself in a really odd position that kept you out of view from the rest of the boys. Unlike on the previous ride where you felt your soul depreciating by the second, you felt a lot calmer now. Of course, you were still scared to death and you still really dreaded having to take the ride, but somehow, you felt a little more security with Donghyuck beside you.

The operator locks the bar in place, and you find yourself choked up in fear once again. You rubbed your palms on your jeans to get rid of the sweat, and just as you were about to hold onto the bar with both hands, Donghyuck had once again reached out to intertwine his fingers with yours. He hides your interlocked hands between the two of you. This time, you looked up to try to read his expression, but he was expressionless, just as he usually was.

The ride begins, and just like the rollercoaster, you were leaned into Donghyuck’s body, digging your fingers into his arm for your dear life. Donghyuck feels his heart palpitate so fast, it could pop out of his chest at any moment. As the ride begins to slow, he retracts his hand, turning his back towards you. He starts a conversation with Jungwoo, and in the meantime, you fixed your hair and expression, just as you had done on the rollercoaster ride.

You were the first to get off the ride, with Donghyuck following behind, and the rest of the group after him. The seven of you regrouped once again, Renjun looking significantly livelier than before.

“Now that was fun,” he says, dimple showing from his bright smile. “What’s next?”

Jungwoo brings out the map of the amusement park that he had gotten at the entrance earlier, looking for what other rides would be fun.

“I’m hungry though, can we eat first?” Jeno voices out, rubbing his tummy. “Should we split up then? Because I’m not hungry, and I’d rather continue going on rides,” Renjun suggests, looking towards Mark for an answer. Mark ponders for a moment, “Sounds good. We’ll rendezvous at 7?”

Everyone agrees, already splitting themselves into the group that was going to eat and the group that was going to go on more rides. You decided that you’d go with the rides group, since you weren’t feeling hungry yourself. Mark, Jungwoo, and Jeno were in the to-eat group, the rest of you gathering at the to-ride group. You said your goodbyes, going separate ways.

“Where shall we go next? How about the drop tower?” Jaemin suggests, looking at the map. Renjun agrees with his suggestion, but in all honesty, you weren’t up for another sweat-inducing, heart-dropping, absolutely terrifying experience.

“I think I’m going to go check out what else they have,” you say. The two don’t question you, and instead, turn their attention towards Donghyuck, who hasn’t said anything yet.

“I’ll go with y/n,” he says, to which the two nod and waved goodbye. They left, reminding the two of you to gather back at the meeting place by 7. You watched as they disappeared into the crowd, leaving you and Donghyuck alone. “You know, you can go your own way. I’m fine on my own,” you say, looking up at him. He looks down and looks you in the eyes, “Where do you want to go?”

“Honestly, I just want to look around,” you say, scanning the area. The weather was nice and cool, which meant it would be fine for you to walk around. Plus, there was so much to see around the place, with how cool the structures were built and all.

“Then let’s do that,” Donghyuck replies.

Your gaze lingers on him for longer than a moment – you didn’t want to think much of this, but you couldn’t help but have such thoughts cloud your mind. Was your relationship really as spiteful as you thought of it to be? Or maybe, that was what you wished to believe in, but it wasn’t really the case. And with Donghyuck’s nice gestures earlier on, you really didn’t know if he hated you like you thought he did.

“Hello? I’m getting old just standing here,” he says, reclaiming your attention. And there it was, curt, snarky Donghyuck, the Donghyuck that you were used to.

“Shut up,” you say, turning to lead the way. You convinced yourself that you were just mistaken. He was only nice in those few moments, but it wasn’t permanent.

After a few minutes of walking, you see a group of kids running past you, all of them having a different design of face paint art on their faces. Intrigued, you followed the trail of kids, which led you to a small, quaint shop hidden at the corner of the park. It had a brightly-lit interior, with bottles and bottles of different types and colours of face paint. A friendly old man stood by the counter, welcoming you with a friendly smile.

“Would you like to paint your face, miss?” he asks. You looked around the vicinity, with two other groups of people occupying separate tables. They were painting each other’s’ faces, seemingly enjoying the process.

“Will you paint it for me?” you asked, to which the old man chuckles, “Of course not, sweetie. You paint on your boyfriend, and he paints on you too,” he explains, gesturing towards Donghyuck.

Letting the man’s assumption of your relationship with Donghyuck slip past, you turned around to look at Donghyuck, and he sees the plea in your eyes already. “Can we do it?” you asked. Donghyuck furrows his brows, shaking his head in reluctance, “I don’t want to paint my face,” he whispers, eyeing the children who had their faces painted already. Admittedly, they didn’t have the nicest designs, but that’s because you weren’t the one who painted for them. “Please?” you whined, tugging on the end of Donghyuck’s sleeve. He feels his breath get caught in the back of his throat, your pleas actually working.

“Fine,” he concedes with reluctance. You smiled, for the first time, because of Donghyuck. You turned back to the shop owner, “We’d like to get our faces painted,” you say. The man leads you and Donghyuck to an empty table, placing a tray of tools and a tray of paints down. You hand him the fee, and he gives a tip of the hat as he wishes you well, “Good luck and have fun!”

Donghyuck sits down beside you, frowning. He couldn’t believe he was about to get himself into getting his face painted, just because he couldn’t resist your antics. He watches as the smile never fades from your expression. You looked through each tool and paint, resembling that of an excited child whom was just promised any ice cream flavour of their choice.

You grabbed a paintbrush with the tiniest tip, standing up and grabbing the first colour of choice – black. Donghyuck’s eyes follows your hands as you opened the bottle of face paint, dipping the paintbrush into it. You grabbed a wet wipe, “I’m going to begin,” you say. Donghyuck nods his head and closes his eyes as you wiped the oils off his face with the wet wipe, ensuring that his face was clean before you began to paint.

You picked up the brush from the bottle of face paint, smiling excitedly as you thought of what you wanted to draw. A small smile tugs at Donghyuck’s lips as he watches your expression, but he looks away immediately when you look down at him. “I’m really going to begin now,” you say, gently resting the hand with the brush on his cheek bone, while your other hand holds a gentle grip on his face. Donghyuck swallows his saliva; although you were in close proximity the past two rides, this marked the first time that your face was just inches away from his, so close that he could feel the heat of your breath brushing against the top of his forehead.

Just as you were about to begin painting, you retracted both hands, another design idea popping in mind. You wiped the black paint off the brush, and reach for the bottle of red paint instead. Donghyuck watches as you dip the brush into the red paint, before repositioning yourself, ready to ink your design.

“You know, if you don’t hurry up, I think we won’t even be done by tomorrow,” Donghyuck comments. You rolled your eyes, ignoring him as you repositioned yourself.

Donghyuck’s eyes does not leave you as you focused on painting whatever you had in mind on the far left of his forehead, the brush strokes tickling him ever so slightly. But he didn’t mind the feeling; it was alright, honestly, and he quite anticipated what you were drawing on his forehead. Minutes go by, Donghyuck noticing how your upper teeth bit down on your lower lip as you concentrated on your design.

Now that you were done, you began fanning the design with your hand, blowing on it occasionally to get it to dry faster.

“All done,” you say, looking at the end product with a smile of satisfaction. “I’ll take a photo of it,” you say, taking out your phone. You hold it out in front of Donghyuck, “Can you please smile?” you say, to which he abides, smiling sweetly for the picture. The smile of satisfaction doesn’t leave your face as you clicked into your gallery to view the newly taken picture, zooming in onto the design. You turned the phone screen to face Donghyuck, who recognises the design almost immediately.

“Is that supposed to be Gaara’s scar?” Donghyuck questions, unamused. You nodded proudly, “Yeah.”

“And why did you paint his scar on me?”

“No reason, I just thought it looked cool, that’s all,” you say. Truth be told, Donghyuck reminded you of Gaara sometimes, only because the scar signified a ‘demon loving only himself’, which was a possible way of describing Donghyuck sometimes. He rolls his eyes, “Are you done? Then it’s my turn to paint on your face.”

“No,” you say instantly, both arms forming a cross over your face, “You’re not painting my face. We’re done here. Let’s go,” you say, bowing politely at the shop owner as you exited the shop. Donghyuck follows behind unwillingly, sulking to himself about how you could paint on his face but he couldn’t do the same on yours.

This time, you spot a mini museum, and so you entered it, with Donghyuck following behind. The next few hours were spent simply looking around, admiring things, and not thinking much of anything or anyone. Night begins to dawn as the sky begins to darken. Donghyuck looks at his watch, “It’s almost time to meet the rest,” he says. You took in one final breath as you admired the beautiful view, “Okay.”

The two of you head towards the agreed meeting place, where Renjun and Jaemin were already waiting.

“You guys are early,” you say, giggling slightly at how pale Renjun seemed to be. “He forced me to re-ride the rollercoaster,” he explains, to which Jaemin defends with, “It was literally the only thrilling ride in the whole park.” You rolled your eyes. Jaemin points at the symbol that you had painted on Donghyuck’s forehead, “What’s that? Are you mimicking Naruto?”

“Actually, that’s Gaara’s scar. And I did it, isn’t it nice?” Jaemin shrugs, “I think it’s alright.” Donghyuck looks at you, and notices the slight disappointment in your expression. “I think it’s nice. I like it,” he says.

You turn to look at him. “But you weren’t ha-” Donghyuck doesn’t let you finish, “I said I like it.”

Mark, Jungwoo, and Jeno walk over at this moment, seeming to have really enjoyed their time together. Their sudden appearance didn’t give you another opportunity to question Donghyuck, so you had no choice but to drop the topic as well. Jeno murmurs a praise at the symbol on Donghyuck’s head, and Jungwoo begins by thanking the group of you, “You guys have been really fun to hang out with,” he says, “I’m glad we came here today.”

“Aw, no problem man, we’ll still be seeing each other for the rest of the week,” Jaemin says, fist bumping the boy.

“Right, which reminds me, where are we going tomorrow?” Mark questions, turning to look at Jeno, who was the one who had planned the entire week out. “We’re bringing him to the pizza parlour, and we’ll go watch the night sky after,” he informs, holding out a thumbs up. Mark nods his head and pulls out his car keys, “So I guess we’ll meet tomorrow?”

Renjun, Donghyuck, and you bid farewell to your friends, before heading to Renjun’s car to head back home. The drive starts off silent, but ten minutes down the road, Renjun speaks up, “I really need to pee,” he says, looking around for a rest stop. You frowned at your friend, “You couldn’t do your business before getting on the car?”

He doesn’t reply, hastily making a sharp turn into the nearest rest stop, parking his car in a vacant lot.

“You guys wait here,” he says, getting off the car and slamming the door shut. You hesitated for a while, contemplating as to whether or not you should drop the pressing questions you wanted answers for. You figured, other than now, there really wasn’t any other opportunities for you to be able to be with Donghyuck one-on-one, so you adjust your body, turning to face him. He had his eyes fixed on the scenery outside the window, his body slouched into the car seat as usual. He feels your gaze rest on him, so he says, “What?”

“You really confuse me,” you say. Donghyuck doesn’t say anything, so you continue, “One minute, you’re all nice and considerate, and the next, you’re cold and turn-offish.”

Donghyuck tilts his head around to look at you through lazy eyes.

“Why? Does it bother you?”

You paused, genuinely considering his question. Did it bother you? Hell yeah. Were you about to let him know that everything he did was making you feel some type of way? Hell no. And so, you decide to lie to him. You reply with a, “No.”

As though expecting that very answer, Donghyuck replies, “It should.”

You felt your heart stop. What did he mean by that? So many more questions started to surface in your head, but before you could even pose them to Donghyuck, Renjun returns, climbing back into the driver’s seat. You readjusted your position to face the front, the heart-fluttering feeling still in your chest. What exactly was Donghyuck trying to imply? You needed answers, and you needed them soon, but you knew you weren’t going to get any.

The next day, ever since the conversation you had with Donghyuck the previous night, the only thoughts that flooded your brain was thoughts about Donghyuck. The things he said, the things he did, and the expressions he made… everything was about him. You tried so hard to shake the thought of him off your mind, but you knew that at this juncture, the only way to get rid of thoughts about him, was to get the answers that you wanted.

Once again, you were situated outside Renjun and Donghyuck’s shared apartment, as you waited for the two to be ready, in order to head to the pizza parlour together. This time, Donghyuck was the first to come out. You meet eyes with him, to which you tried to hold onto that eye contact, but he broke it off almost immediately. And there he was, being cold again. There was just no way you could predict him at all. Everything was just confusing you.

The three of you got into the car, in the same positions you had sat the previous day. It was a mere five-minute drive to the parlour, and this time, the other four had arrived earlier than the three of you. They were seated at the usual booth, Jungwoo looking through the menu since it was all new to him.

You moved in next to Jeno, who was seated alone, as Mark, Jungwoo, and Jaemin were seated on the same side. He greets you with a smile as usual, and you smiled back. Donghyuck settles in beside you, while Renjun takes a seat beside Jaemin. The group of you exchange small talk, but the conversations were merely passing by, as you were focused on Donghyuck and Donghyuck alone.

He was being smiley and nice once again, participating in a friendly conversation with Jungwoo. The two seemed to really hit it off, with loads to talk about. But then again, he seemed to have loads to talk about with everyone else, except you. You feel a light kick from under the table, and you immediately looked up to see Mark flashing an all-knowing smile. He wiggles his eyebrows and folds his arms, his expression telling of how he was still on the whole something-is-going-on-between-Donghyuck-and-y/n bandwagon. You rolled your eyes, throwing a serviette at him.

Mid-conversation, Donghyuck notices you and Mark exchanging looks, and he definitely notices you throwing a serviette at the boy. He continues to focus on his conversation with the other guys, choosing to act oblivious to whatever you were doing beside him.

The food comes, and disappears within a matter of minutes, as everyone devoured the food. You finished your last sip of cola, with Mark taking the lead, “Alright, let’s head to the park guys.”

“I want to take Renjun’s car,” Jeno declares, holding onto the said boy. Jaemin joins in, “Sounds great, let’s go in Renjun’s car.” You looked at Donghyuck, who didn’t say anything. Mark speaks up, “If you all go in Renjun’s car, then who’s going to take mine?”

“I’ll go with you,” Donghyuck volunteers, moving over to stand with Jungwoo and Mark. “Hey, y/n, how about you take my car too?” Mark calls, flashing you that same, all-knowing smile once more. You frowned, shaking your head, “No, it’s fine. I’ll stick with Renjun,” you say, taking a step back to stand in line with the three boys. Renjun pushes you away, “Just yesterday you insulted me for having to pee mid-drive. I’d gladly kick you off my car, thank you very much.”

You looked at Renjun with widened eyes. Mark takes this as an opportunity, and urges further, “Yeah, just take my car this time, y/n.” You shoot the boy a glare, rolling your eyes and conceding to his request. You moved over to stand beside Donghyuck. Mark and Renjun discuss who was going to tailgate who, before leading the way to the cars. You got into the backseat, Donghyuck getting in from the other end. Jungwoo gets into the passenger seat, and Mark gets into the driver seat. He starts the car and accelerates, signalling for Renjun to follow behind.

The ride begins, with Jungwoo and Mark engrossed in their own conversation. Mark had the radio turned on to a relatively audible level, loud enough that you couldn’t really hear what Mark and Jungwoo were saying if you didn’t pay attention. You had your eyes fixed on the road outside, not really paying attention to anything, until you felt a tap on your arm. You turn to face Donghyuck, whom you could barely see under the dim street lights.

He opens his mouth and says something, but you couldn’t hear him over Mark’s voice and the radio. So you go, “What?”, focusing your attention on his lips. You were trying your best to lip-read, but it wasn’t really working well. You leaned forward, voicing another, “What?”, trying your hardest to decipher what he was saying.

Your breath hitches when Donghyuck suddenly leans over, breath tickling your ear, “If you keep staring at my lips like that, it makes me want to kiss you even more than I already do.”

He pulls back, slouching back into his seat. His head turned to face the road outside, you stayed still in your position, almost forgetting to breathe. You regained your senses when Mark declares, “We’re here.”

You get off the car along with the rest, Renjun pulling up beside Mark’s car. You were in a trance, completely lost in thought, the whole situation that happened in the car being of extreme surrealism to you. You trailed behind the pact as they picked out a spot in the middle of the park, one of which had an extremely clear view of the sky, so that you guys could stargaze.

You watched as the six of them settled down, already lying down and getting comfortable. You chose to sit a distance away from them, in order to process everything, and more importantly, to avoid being near Donghyuck. Your efforts proved futile when Donghyuck turns and notices you seated away from the group. He gets up and walks towards you, taking a seat beside you.

You don’t say anything, and neither does he. He has his gaze focused on the sky, while you had yours focused on the ground. Donghyuck reaches into his pocket and pulls out his earpiece, that your recognised as your own. You had forgotten that he still had it with him. He offers you a bud, and you take it, inserting it into your ear.

And just like that, minutes go by with the two of you just seated next to each other in comfortable silence, the soft humming of Donghyuck’s playlist in one ear. You were busy, lost in thought, while Donghyuck was simply enjoying your presence next to him. You could feel yourself actually enjoying this moment, as though you longed for more to come. It was not until the rest of the group decided that they had enough of stargazing, did the two of you finally move. Jaemin helps you up, Donghyuck getting up himself and dusting himself off. The boys began to walk back towards the cars, intending to call it a day already.

You bid your farewells to Jeno, Jungwoo, Jaemin, and Mark, who were going the opposite direction. You got into the passenger’s seat of Renjun’s car, remaining silent. Renjun tries to start a conversation with you, but you weren’t listening, so you didn’t reply. Instead, Donghyuck replied, and so the two of them engaged in a conversation while you spaced out all the way home.

“Bye, y/n,” Renjun greets. You don’t reply, as you keyed in your pin and entered your apartment, closing the door shut behind you. You stayed by the door, leaning your frame against it as you continued to recall Donghyuck’s words. He wanted his behaviour to bother you, and then he just straightforwardly tells you he’s been wanting to kiss you, completely out of the blue, and everything was just too overwhelming for you.

The doorbell rings, snapping you out of your train of thoughts. Reaching for the handle, you pushed the door open, to see Donghyuck just standing at your doorstep. He looks at you, and without any hesitation, drops the three words that answers all of your queries.

“I like you.”

You felt your breath stop for the second time for the night. Your heart began to palpitate more, the thumping of it audible in your ears. You could feel your heart pump against your chest, completely unsure of how to react to his sudden confession.

Donghyuck watches as you continued to stare at him blankly. Feeling slightly awkward with your lack of reaction, he purses his lips and nods his head, flashing an embarrassed smile as he points in the direction of his apartment, “Then, uh, I guess I’ll go home now,” he says, laughing awkwardly. He clasps his hands together and turns, but is stopped by your sudden hold on his wrist.

“Maybe I like you too,” you say, voice coming out barely a whisper. Nevertheless, Donghyuck hears you, and he sighs as a feeling of relief washes over him.

“Good because that would be so awkward, you know, if you didn’t feel the same way,” he says.

You continued to stare up at him blankly, unsure of what to do next. Just as Donghyuck was about to say something, you cut him off, “Well see you tomorrow then!” you say, flashing a smile. You waved goodbye, and before he could even react, you had shut the door on him. You stood with your body leaning against the door, a hand to your chest, trying to calm the erratic palpitations of your heart. You took in a deep breath, hands shaking, because you couldn’t believe what had just happened.

“Goodnight, y/n,” you hear Donghyuck from the other side of the door.

A smile tugs at your lips. You took out your phone and entered your gallery, revealing the photo of Donghyuck you had taken at the amusement park, after painting his forehead. Your smile widens, “Goodnight, Hyuck,” you whisper, fully anticipating the days to come.

[plounce]

Your love for ur gf is so good and pure. It honestly gives me so much hope that maybe someone is going to think about me like that some day.

thank you!!!!!!!!! i’m super glad because it’s very good!!!!! bright spot of my life. she’s great. the most important thing is that, the person just... makes everything better. doesn’t have to be totally better. but better, just for their presence. and you want to make things as good as possible for them. yknow?? lots of thoughts. but yes, it’s always possible, laura and i took me by absolute surprise

i actually met her!! september of 2015 at a lgbtq student event... it was on my 18th birthday and first day of college!! i got a really fast crush on her (i have a certain type and she fits the bill) and we exchanged urls and snapchats and made a bit of a fool of myself, i couldn’t stop mentioning it was my birthday and i was always staring at her... she told me a while back that she actually thought i would go well with one of her best friends hahaha.

anyway i got invited by her group to go watch a movie or something? but i didn’t go because i didn’t know the bus system yet and i didnt wanna be stranded. and also i got it into my head that she was aro and was kind of sad because i liked her a lot and want to pursue romance... but anyway i went home and then NEVER TALKED TO HER FOR NEARLY A YEAR.

i went through my Hell Winter of 2016, and every so often i would see her post about being lonely or thirsty? and i would think about hitting her up but i wasn’t really in a place to, tbh. and i still thought she was aro.

but then spring came, i got some good friends, and i took summer school... she told me that she thought about asking me to hang out since i was in town but never did!! because she thought it would be weird. ALSO she thought about getting me a ticket for the patd concert she saw like last week but thought it was too forward since we didnt know each other super well!! ALSOOOO this is funny, i almost unfollowed her because she had a crush on delphie from the cursed child play sgjhfdjg

it was over the summer she got a crush on me! i like to joke that it was my tsubasa blogging that charmed her, but she says that i was (am) just generally cute hahaha. my crush on her was very backburner at that point - very much “the one that got away but not even that much”

fall quarter came, and she started interacting w my posts, including my tsubasa liveblog? and it was just. super nice to have someone who didn’t know much about my PASSION be so into it and stuff. and we sorta flirted, as you can see here... i told her i had thought she was cute, and that just made her heart flutter >:3c

and i noticed some really down posts of hers, and i asked her “hey do you wanna get coffee sometime?” and of course she said yes, considering her crush. and on october 11th we met up at a campus starbucks!! and talked for like THREE HOURS STRAIGHT... it felt so natural and i was just :DDDD!! i don’t talk easily with a lot of people but we just really clicked. the only pauses were thinking up more topics.

and then we went on like, another coffee date? and i just liked her so much that i asked if she wanted to go to my friendgroup’s halloween party, and she said yeah! and it was THERE, on october 21st, that we were like “lets be girlfriends!!” because it was going so well and just felt right. and we were so!!! right!!!!!!!!

and man. she’s an angel... she makes me want to be a better person, but not because im a bad person? but because i want to be better. i wanna be better at asking for and accepting help, being active in giving help, do my schoolwork, be kinder, be more accepting of myself and unashamed of my passions... there’s a whole laundry list.

for some reason in mid february i always have a Big Crisis and when i freaked the fuck out on february 9th, i made a post the next day kind of letting people know my situation, and then, she showed up at my door, and picked me up and carried me down the hallway and i was laughing and just. i remember, five minutes after she arrived, i was leaning against her, and everything felt... better. ten minutes before that, i felt like i couldn’t - didn’t deserve to - talk to anyone again, and then... i felt calm and right and good. fine. just having her near me is good. im very lucky to have her. just being around her, no matter what we’re doing, makes me better in every way.

it’s special, but not... uncommon? if that makes sense. you’ll get it. i spent half a year really firmly believing i was gonna die alone and it would take weeks for anyone to find my body, and less than a year later, i have laura, and beloved friends, and just... i dunno. i promise you’ll find someone you click with and that makes you happy in a very certain way.

this got really long im sorry!! its past midnight and im gay hahaha. laura if i got anything wrong please correct me heheheh

[wtfidkman1]

Grant

A/N: i have no clue what im doing but i have a couple parts to this so if the first part goes well please let me know cuz i might post the others if you guys would like? thanks! enjoy! :) 

It was dark. Of course it was dark. To say I despise the dark would be an understatement. It’s not like I have phobia or anything, I just really hate the dark. Why you ask? Well, you see, bad things tend to happen in the dark. Don’t get me wrong, bad things happen in daylight, but it gets a hell of a lot worse in the dark. I’m not sure why though, it seems to only happen to me. That, is another thing I don’t know. So that’s why I made the ludicrous decision to take a stroll down the block from my old, raggedy apartment complex to the nearby park. It’s currently quarter past midnight and I know that I’m just asking for trouble, damn near begging for it. But I need answers, I need to know why my skin gets tingly and I turn light headed every time I touch certain objects, when I see certain people, when I hear certain words or accents. 

I need to know why I keep having these...visions? No. Hallucinations? Maybe.

Makes me sound like I’m on drugs but to be honest, I wouldn’t rule it out considering the thing I’ve...seen. Flashing in my head. I haven’t figured out their exact trigger yet. Another thing I need to find out. But afterwards I’ve always found myself on the ground. I most likely faint when these flashes come to me. I’ll have bruises from my fall, I’m guessing because I probably hit everything in my path on my way down as I tumble. I guess I’m just clumsy like that. Even when I’m unconscious. Anyways, here I am waltzing down the street in pitch black darkness, by myself, given my...unusual... history. Everything seems to be going fine, I can see an empty swing underneath a small lamp post and I smile to myself. 

Not only because that swing has been there since I was a child, but also because there is a light. I’m almost close enough to touch it when I hear a small whir and something hits me in the back of the head. “Ow! What the fu-” I rub my temple and turn around. I’m met with steel blue eyes. I’m transfixed for only a second before the pain in the back of my head wretches me back to reality. “Hey dude, watch where you’re throwing that thi-” “Shut up.” 

...Well then.

“Excuse me? Listen here buddy, I don’t take kindly to people chucking things at my hea-” “ I said. Shut. Up.” He’s coming closer, as the lamp post shines on his face. Oh shit, He’s tall. And handsome. He’s looking at me with a tilted head and furrowed brows. I was about to ask if he wanted to take a picture cause it’ll last longer when he spoke up before I had the chance to, voice low and gravely “What’s wrong with you?” What? “I-I’m sorry” I stutter. He takes another step towards me, he seems to be...examining my head? “Christ, do I always have to repeat things with you? Are you deaf or something?” He takes a look in my ear, presumably searching for a hearing aid, emphasizing his question.

 “I heard you perfectly fine.” I snapped. “I just don’t understand why you’re asking such rude questions, not even apologizing after hitting me in the back of the head with god-knows-what. Speaking of which, what the hell was that...” as I rambling I heard him let out a frustrated huff and mumble something along the lines of “Alright, lets try this again.” Before I could ask what he said he threw a punch, something shiny glinting in the light of the lamp post, knocking me out cold.

That’s the first part! hope it was alright. Again, let me know if you guys enjoyed it and maybe I’ll add the other parts soon! <3 <3

[vitalmindandbody]

Mamadou Sakho: ‘Whatever they say or do, they cannot replace what they took away from me’

In an exclusive interview, the Liverpool defender who is on loan at Crystal Palace, talks for the first time about his devastation at missing out on Euro 2016, what he did during his ban and his future

For Mamadou Sakho, there is no satisfaction to be had in vindication. He has known for over a year he had done nothing wrong, and that the fat burner containing higenamine, for which he tested positive after helping Liverpool to Europa League progress beyond Manchester United, was not included on the World Anti-Doping Agencys prohibited list. Uefa had admitted as much last July before, in the first section of a 104-page dossier released this week by its control, ethics and disciplinary body, the blame game over the players ban degenerated into petty finger-pointing between the governing body and Wada.

The real victim, the man who had been denied involvement in a cup final and a place in the host nations squad at Euro 2016, can only watch as the bickering shames the authorities. I worked so hard to prepare myself for the European Championship, to help my country, to wear the France shirt in a tournament on home soil, says Sakho. Now Ill never do that. Whatever they say or do, they cannot replace what they took away from me. My lawyer can see what happens next but, for me, I focus on other things. I have learned in life you should never look back over your shoulder, wondering what might have been. That is the past. Always look forward, at the next challenge. Its life. Good and bad things happen, but my mentality is always to try and find a positive. It is the only way to be and, today, I am really happy.

The last 13 months have tested that admirable mindset but, while his circumstances have shifted dramatically, Sakho is not one for changing. He is sitting in a backroom at The Hoxton, a hotel in east Londons trendy Shoreditch, a Crystal Palace loanee whose impact at Selhurst Park has helped wrest five wins from seven matches to ease Sam Allardyces team away from the condemned. A player more used to competing at the top end of a division has been a colossus a leader and organiser, a warrior and inspiration delivering everything Palace hoped he might. He has already achieved cult status among his adopted supporters, just as he had back at his parent club. On Sunday at Anfield, where he will be ineligible, he will watch on from the stands with both teams potentially, if privately, wishing they had him to plug the Sakho-shaped holes in their respective defences.

He admits to finding that scenario awkward, as if uncertain where his loyalties should lie, but it is just the latest twist to an unconventional year. Some of his setbacks have been self-inflicted perceived tardiness on Liverpools pre-season tour of the United States, for which he apologised and was fined, helped fracture his relationship with Jrgen Klopp but it was that routine drug test and the assessment of his urine sample undertaken at a Wada-accredited laboratory in Cologne which had nudged his career on its unexpected course. Sakho has never denied taking the product which contained higenamine and, after liaising with Liverpool, voluntarily made himself unavailable once Wada flagged up the positive test. Uefa would ban him for 30 days pending its own investigations, inquiries which ultimately saw it query whether higenamine should even be considered a prohibited beta2-agonist.

The centre-halfs last appearance for Liverpool had been as a goalscorer in a 4-0 victory over Everton. Less than a week earlier he had scored his sides equaliser in that staggering Europa League quarter-final comeback over Borussia Dortmund. Sitting out what followed fuelled frustration and anger, born of a feeling of helplessness.

But for me, the hardest moment was when I saw my Mum, my sister, my brother, my wife in tears they didnt understand the situation, says Sakho. That was difficult, seeing them upset. They were devastated, but I was there trying to explain to them I had done nothing wrong, and that everything would be alright. It would all be fixed. I was actually quite calm, quite peaceful, and just trying to reassure them. It was a time for me to be strong, and those who are close to me had faith. We knew that, eventually, I would be proved right.

Crystal Palace won their first four games with Mamadou Sakho in the team, including the victory at Stamford Bridge over Chelsea. Photograph: PPAUK/REX/Shutterstock

He would be, but not before he had sat out the Europa League final, where Sevilla eventually overran Liverpool, and been overlooked for Frances squad for the summers championships. Missing out on a home tournament, whose showpiece would be staged just across the Parisian pripherique from where he grew up in Goutte dOr, was cruel. Uefas disciplinary body would absolve him of any fault just 48 hours before the final. I knew the ban meant I could not be picked, so I spoke with the manager Didier Deschamps and promised I would come to Frances first game, and to their last game too, and that I hoped that would be the final. It was. I visited the team hotel in Paris the day before the final to show my support. My ambition is still to play for my country at the World Cup in 2018, and regain my place.

During that whole period I spent time with my family, and with my charity [AMSAK] in Senegal and Ivory Coast. I know I have been lucky in my life and can give something back. We visited an orphanage, a school for deaf and dumb children, and a juvenile jail, speaking to the kids there, giving them advice because everyone makes mistakes. The most important thing is to learn, to share knowledge. Doing that does feel like a release, a chance to put out a positive message and show that everyone can do something to help in his own way. I am lucky I can use my status in a positive way and give something back. You have to help people find a better level, always. The world can be better as a result.

Life at Liverpool was always a game of catch-up after the suspension, with the issues over the summer confirming the team had moved on. An August switch never materialised and he went into the final hours of the January transfer window uncertain where his future lay. Palace, 19th and defensively fragile, won at Bournemouth on the night of the deadline with Allardyce unsure whether he would end the game having secured Sakho or the Everton striker Arouna Kon as his second top-flight loanee. There were frantic post-match telephone calls conducted by the chairman, Steve Parish, and the manager in a corridor at the Vitality stadium as the clock ticked down, with Sakho waiting in the clubs office up in Soho. It was only after midnight that the Premier League ratified the defenders arrival on a five-month deal.

Id only heard good things about the manager, and his being here helped make my decision easier, says Sakho. I spoke with [the Rubin Kazan midfielder] Yann MVila, who had worked with him at Sunderland last season, and he spoke so highly of the coach. He knows what he is doing, a top manager. Then there were people like Yohan Cabaye and Christian Benteke who told me this was a good team, a good club, and reassured me the move would work for everyone. Then there was the chairman. When he spoke to me on the telephone, he sold me his club. The passion with which he spoke about Palace it really touched me. He transmitted that emotion to me in the telephone call. Hes a man of his word. He made me want to fight for his club.

Look, it was still a big challenge, and a very different kind of challenge. But Im so glad I did it. I get a kick out of being out on the pitch, playing football again. I am playing in front of big crowds, fans who appreciate my style of play. Ten months is a long time, but theres no secret to hitting the ground running. No magic formula. I never stopped training and working really hard at Liverpool, over the summer and Im proud of the effort I put in. It is paying off. It comes from my parents. They came to France 30 years ago from Senegal and it was so hard for them. They had to fight for everything, and they transferred this mentality to me. It is in my football, and it comes from the upbringing my parents gave me.

Mamadou Sakho visited the France team during Euro 2016 to give them support and hope to represent his country at next years World Cup. Photograph: Dave Winter/Icon Sport via Getty Images

His seven matches to date have yielded 16 points, four clean sheets, a win at Chelsea, a first home success over Arsenal since 1979 and, most surreal of all, a celebratory jig of appreciation on the pitch from Sasa Curcic. Allardyce and Palace would be eager to retain his services if they retain their Premier League status, even with his asking price spiralling closer to 30m with each eye-catching display. But you know, to talk about my future now is almost… goste. Yes, selfish. It is not the time. My only goal is the mission I have accepted at Crystal Palace, and Im trying to help them succeed in what they need to do. Im part of a team, and its the team that matters. Not my future. Not my contract. Not what happens next.

Its all about seeing Palace safe, and were not there yet. If I wear the Liverpool shirt again I will gladly. I have three more years of contract there. But if I have to stay at Palace, I would do that gladly too. Im happy, I feel good here. Im also someone who is ambitious, so I will let my agent deal with that in the summer and well see where we are. If my future proves to be somewhere else well, so be it. Ill leave everything on my mothers prayers.

Sunday will be strange. I will be there with the Palace squad but, for this game, Im in an awkward position. I have a foot in each camp. I still belong to Liverpool, a great team with a great manager, a club I really appreciate. I had this great relationship with the Liverpool fans and the players. But I now have that same relationship with Palace and their fans. The team as well. Everything has gone so well in the last few months maybe this should be a case of may the best team win.

Liverpool will always mean something to Sakho, as was demonstrated by his recent post on Instagram on the anniversary of the Hillsborough disaster. But, today, I am with Crystal Palace, he adds, and we need those three points.

Read more: www.theguardian.com

The post Mamadou Sakho: ‘Whatever they say or do, they cannot replace what they took away from me’ appeared first on vitalmindandbody.com.

from WordPress http://ift.tt/2sIxfvc via IFTTT