#i know im improving my life but i miss my brother (i can see him anytime i want) and my cats (i will never see them again)
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baked-bread · 7 months ago
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lonely and emotional from moving out (even if the building is filled with other people) so i think i'm gonna watch vtuber streams today O7 lots and lots and lots of them
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almightyhamslice · 1 year ago
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KIRBY'S DREAMLAND 3 ON THE SUPER NINTENDO ENTERTAINMENT SYSTEM!!!!!! YAAAAAAAAAAAY IM SO STOKED ABT THIS DRAWING SERIES (it is going to take me a million years to finish and be much longer than KDL2 just a warning LOL)!!!! KDL3 is one of my favorite Kirby games, I played it all the time as a kid! Tbf a lot of Kirby games are my favorite. But this is probably my favorite OLD Kirby game! It's missing a lot of modern Kirby conventions, but I still love it so much, it's so cozy and warm.
In my gijinka AU timeline it's set about a year after Star Stacker, so Kirby is now 13. I dunno if I set ages for the original Animal Friends ngl. I think Coo's in his early 50's, Kine's in his early 40's, and Rick's in his mid 20's. ALSO I finally found out what the nonbinary equivalent to nephew/niece is!! It's nibling!! Kirby is Rick, Coo, and Kine's honorary nibling!
I will get into Acro and Ado's context in this gijinka universe during their respective boss encounters, but for now I CAN tell you about the new generation of Animal Friends! I described them on instagram as "extended found family"-- they're loosely connected to the original 3 Animal Friends in the sense that they know them well, but they're brought closer together through knowing Kirby!
Nago is from the Iceberg and knows Rick well because he often visits the Iceberg to improve his climbing skills. I imagine that he and Kirby might 'click' because Nago is trans and Kirby is nonbinary? Nago's a teenager/young adult, but is the oldest of the 3 new Animal Friends. He's a werecat and can turn into a giant calico cat whenever he feels like it! So I guess he and Rick probably would be friends since they're very alike?
Chuchu is from Ripple Field, so she and Kine have met before! Kine has told her many stories about his adventures as a Dark Matter hunter on the surface world, though Chuchu finds herself most interested in his friend Kirby! She thinks Kirby is cute and wants to date him. Kirby has never dated anyone in his entire life and has no idea what romance is like! Chuchu is a flapjack octopus mermaid with mild transformation abilities-- she doesn't have a fully human form like Kine does and is instead half human half octopus in her default form, but fully octopus while transformed. Chuchu is a year older than Kirby.
Pitch is a harpy like Coo, but he's just a lost baby essentially. He's only 4 years old! For now Coo is looking after him since there aren't many other harpies in Dreamland (much less any who'd want to care for Pitch) but they both really want to find Pitch's mother. Pitch sees Kirby as an older brother and likes to shadow him. Unlike Coo, Pitch shrinks when he transforms and turns into a tiny bird you can fit in the palm of your hand! I think he is a shima enaga specifically. A colorful one I guess. They can't be green irl lol.
ALSO I decided to reveal Zero extra early because honestly I don't like that they're just, at the end of the game only! And I like their design a lot. I've drawn them before. I think they deserve a bit more limelight! So I drew them in 2 panels here.
ALSO ALSO (oh my god this post is so long already) thank you everyone for blowing up my Gryll post!! glad 2 see there r so many Gryll enjoyers on here :)
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blueberrykenn · 1 year ago
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In Between 1: Where it all started
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Idol Taehyung x Idol Reader Yoongi x Reader Jimin x reader
Taehyung meets his best friend's sister and its love at first sight but only for him
Warnings: None
Rating of fic: 18+
Words: 1.1K
Note
April 14th, 2012
Name: Y/N
Nickname: Poppie
Age: 14
For the first time in my life Jimin won't be around he won't tease me for following him everywhere, for trying to copy him and his dancing or following him to the dance studio to see if he can teach me anything. He just left...to Seoul to be the next Big Bang or something. It's gonna feel weird without Jimin, it's only been a month but it's just been me and Jihyun. Im gonna miss my oldest brother so much. I'm gonna work hard and try to do the same thing as Jimin has and always will be one of my biggest influences in my life not just because he's my older brother but because of his passion.
I put my pen down and walk downstairs to only see Jihyun sitting watching T.V. by himself without anyone around, I try to sneak around to see what's he's watching but I know I got caught when I hear "Still miss him little one?"
I look up to see Jihyun talking to me and tell him
"One, We are Irish twins which means you're not even a year older than me, two, yeah..."
I sigh as I sit next to him and lean my head onto his shoulder before asking. "What do you think is going to happen? Do you think we'll see him again?"
I look up surprised as I wasn't expecting an immediate answer
"Well, first things first we both need sleep"
I look at my brother in disbelief and laugh. "Next you'll need to practice more than ever to either do the same as Jimin or be better than him"
I suddenly laugh at him before swatting his shoulder from laughing before asking
"Whoever said I'll be doing the same thing?"
Jihyun just pats my head. "I just know it, you have the same passion as Jimin, and your teacher is gonna tell you what they told him and try to get you into an entertainment company as well, unlike me you guys are talented in the dancing and singing area."
I giggle at that comment before teasing him. "Oh yeah? Like you are not mister 'I draw all the time' but I guess your right"
Jihyun smiles at me. "make your brothers proud and be the best at what you do Poppie and beat Jimin at his own game that will wind up his gears"
I smile proudly and giggle slightly before smiling at him as I walk into Jimin's room as I felt my phone vibrate.
Its Jimin!!
he only left a month ago and he can't stand not talking to his little sister
Jiminiee~:
Hey Poppie! I couldn't stand not talking to you! I wanted to say that I miss you and the members are already so nice to me! One day I hope you can meet them!!Well I gotta get going practice awaits. I'll Facetime you when Im finished Love you!~
I smiled at his message and layed on Jimin's bed and looked around before thinking.
This can be my escape room where I practice until I'm at least seventeen.
This is gonna be great...right?
Oh how I was so wrong...
May 9th, 2012
Jimin facetimes me almost every single day, well whenever he has any time that is, I have seen some of his bandmates in the background. I only know of SeokJin,Yoongi and Hoseok. They are very nice. I like the one named Yoongi he's quiet like me. Though I really do miss Jimin, but I am improving my singing and dancing everyday so I can be the best I can be and be just like him. Its my dream.
I put my pen down and go into Jimin's room and put on a song from his mp3 that he left here a song called Miss Independent by an American artist called Ne-Yo (if you know that song you're a real one) and start dancing. I dance and dance until I fall onto Jimin's bed right as I do so I look up to see Jihyun walk into the room.
"Exhausted Poppie?" I hear him ask.
I nod as I am panting from dancing to much as he chuckles slightly. "You try doing this, It may be exhausting, but it is worth it in the end." I said in between pants before I get up walking to my room to get some rest.
August 7th, 2012
I met the rest of Jimin's members, they are all so nice, but ever since I met his best friend, Taehyung, he is always in the facetime with Jimin. He is funny and all but I facetime my brother to see my brother which low key gives me odd vibes. I don't say anything, because I don't want to hurt his feelings and because that's his best friend. Jimin tells me he thinks he is fat, which wants me to smack his head, because he is not. Summer is approaching to an end which means more time practice in the dance studio and I can practice my singing now. The more I practice the more I will get accepted in an entertainment company when I'm seventeen!!
October 6th, 2012
Mine and Jimin's birthday is coming up, its lonely without him but I'm starting to get used to it, my teacher today told me I'm as talented as Jimin when he was my age which makes me smile wide, why wouldn't I? It's what I'm going for after all, Jimin is doing well training for his debut to become an idol. I am going to follow in his steps, no matter what it takes.
January 18th, 2013
Age:15
Nickname: Tulip
Jimin told me that the CEO of his entertainment "Hitman Bang" is thinking about a debut date sometime in the summer, I will be In Seoul from May to July for a trip with my class. I hope it's around the time I'm there, I wanna see Jimin so bad, just to get a hug from him would mean everything to me. I told Jimin about this trip and he was very excited. I hope I do get to see my older brother soon, it has almost been a year since I have seen Jimin in person. If I can see him I can observe what it's like to be an idol and that makes me so happy!
June 12th, 2013
Jimin invited me to some music show to see what it's like and I just met all of the members of Bangtan Sonyeondan. They all are so lovely, but Taehyung; well V is always at least 5 feet away from me. Its nice to see my brother again, its nice. I really missed my big brother and Yoongi he even more quiet in person which makes me shy as well I hope I can be friends with all of them
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inpursuitofmeaning · 3 months ago
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September 9, 2024
Hello there, void! Oh, how I’ve missed your non-judgmental mirror. It's been a fucky wucky few weeks. Got a prophecy stone and it's rocked my world to say the least. Called a suicide hotline, went to Co-Dependents Anonymous, layed on the floor in a dark room pondering the existential concept of one’s self, got a new tarot deck, drank my bodyweight in tea, got drunk with a friend (never wanted the night to end), got a therapist, saw some friends (incredible friends) in toronto, and am currently dealing with the grief of letting go of some things that are well overdue to be let go of. More on that after the break... It’s the darkest before the dawn, right?
I’ve recently come to realize that there are a few relationships which I must, in the nicest way possible, leave. Call it a premonition, a download, a knowing, or whatever you want. But quite simply, it’s logic, I’m afraid. That the people who made me feel like shit - like I’m annoying, un-attractive, like i like them more than they like me—literally anything short of the grounded, funny, knowledgeable, wise person I want to be—must shove off. Seriously, people don't give a shit nowadays and it shows. I must be more critical of the people I let into my life. Are you kind, do you add to my life, do you make me feel at peace?
Amusingly enough, the moment I made the decision to distance myself from them (two people in particular, and another who distanced themselves), to no longer sought their validation, my self-concept improved, and blessings started flooding in. Immediately. The universe was just waiting for me to clean house. Almost as soon as I did, the universe was like, “Oh, you get it now. Here are some rewards. Keep going this way! Here's a treat you silly little ant”. Out of nowhere, people started approaching me in public, I got invited to hang out, I felt like conversation flowed naturally, and for the first time in forever, I felt grounded in the version of myself that I've been working toward.
But, of course, the universe doesn’t just hand you wins without throwing in a challenge or two. Classic. Biblical. So, I get tested. And lo and behold, old habbits die hard, and despite resisting the urge to seek validation from a friend by oversharing an exciting piece of news (that I had been invited on a walk by her brother's friend), I ended up telling her a few hours after seeing her in person. Damnit. That wasn’t very black-cat-sigma-male-thomas-shelby of me. I was really excited to have something going on that I didn’t immediately share. The irony? He’s one of the ones who reached out right after I leveled up my self-concept. Classic. Biblical. So, I want to have things going on in my life that others don’t know about. The self-respect to not tell people everything. So naturally im now hating myself and worrying that i ruined things. But this is ALSO part of the test. tricky one, universe. youre good.
This slip-up happened about 30 minutes ago. I felt like I was falling back into the same old cycle—the one that messes with my self-concept. Seeking validation, wanting her to be impressed, ask me questions, make me feel flattered and interesting. But I see it now for what it is: a test from the universe. It’s all part of the lesson. This challenge is here to show me where I still have work to do, where I need to tighten up so I can be unshakable in the face of things that actually matter.
But here’s the progress—I didn’t tell her right away. I left it a few days before I caved. I paused and realized I still have time to get back on track before I meet with him. This is an opportunity to be the person that I want to be. This is a chance from the universe to be a grounded self. The 3D is a reflection of the inside. As above, so below, and it’s not in real-time. Everything is a manifestation of the past self. So I can return to the current self. Be grounded in who I am. I've got options. It’s not the end of the world. The Emily that I want to be would recognize this and move forward. Recognize the blip and not do it again. It’s a lesson. Karmic. The pattern, revealing the unhealed. Growth is happening! It's okay to have shaken my self concept a little. its only been a day honey. it might take a few to change 24 years of a belief system.
Did her reaction make me feel like shit? Yes. Did I let myself down? Also yes. Does that mean it shakes the Emily of the now? No. I learn from it. Move forward. It’s an opportunity to be the person I want to be in the face of a challenge. Acknowledge what I didn’t like, and move on.
Now is a change to prove to myself who I am. And asure myself in what I know. That the resitsnce is re-direction.
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extravaguk · 4 years ago
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sex education 2.0
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pairing: college!au, jungkook x reader
summary: "Are you calling me boring?" Jungkook gasps dramatically, looking at you dumbfounded and visibly offended. You roll your eyes, taking a napkin and leaning forward to wipe the crumbs of garlic bread on his lips.
"First of all, don't talk with your mouth full, you pig. Second of all," you stop to take a sip of your coke, aware of Jungkook's expectant eyes on you. "A little, yeah." 
wordcount: 9k
genre: smut - angst(? not rlly - fluff, like tons bc im a slut for fluff
rated: m (duh!2.0)
warnings: alcohol and weed consumption, just jk and tae being bros having bro convos, switch!reader, switch!jk, but mostly dom!jk, dirty talk, glimpses of poorly written bdsm, reader being a jealous and ‘insecure little bitch’ (her words, not mine),slapping (dont worry i tried to make it funny), how i met your mother spoilers (sorry im a gemini i spoil shit), spanking, degradation kink, back at it again with the spit kink, slight anal play, beware!of jungkook being a sweetheart, a lil mean at the end but a sweetheart nontheless.
read sex education here!
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Three months of being in an actual commitment with Jeon Jungkook, your brother's partner in crime since the young age of five and, therefore, a common denominator throughout your childhood and teenage years, has proven to you a few things you never knew you would discover about the boy himself: Jeon Jungkook is definitely not what you thought him to be. 
You thought growing up with him would've been enough telltale about everything that made Jungkook be, well, Jungkook. He wasn't as immature as you had believed prior to the beginning of your relationship, he was funnier than you remembered -although maybe you found him funnier now that Taehyung wasn't in the picture to interfere with infantile inside jokes that you never were able to grasp-, and smarter than he had ever let you known before. Although you're sure the main reason his grades had started to improve was solely you and the way you rewarded him by opening your legs everytime he passed an exam. 
But above all, if there was something that had truly surprised you about Jeon Jungkook was the fact that he was truly an absolutely and undeniably softie.  
You loved it. Loved the random scribbled love notes he sometimes left in your backpack before kissing you goodbye to leave for his own class, loved the Spotify playlists he made exclusively just for you -with genres that varied between sappy and romantic and wanting to tear your 'wet ass pussy' in two-, loved the late night texts filled with emojis telling you how much he missed you when both of you were too busy doing assignments and studying to see each other -even if it hadn't even been 48 hours since you last saw each other-. You loved how careful and sweet and thoughtful he was. You really did. 
But.
"Are you calling me boring?" Jungkook gasps dramatically, looking at you dumbfounded and visibly offended. You roll your eyes, taking a napkin and leaning forward to wipe the crumbs of garlic bread on his lips.
"First of all, don't talk with your mouth full, you pig. Second of all," you stop to take a sip of your coke, aware of Jungkook's expectant eyes on you. "A little, yeah." His mouth falls open and you supress a laugh. You really shouldn't be enjoying this so much, but there's something about Jungkook's reaction to his ego being bruised and that terribly adorable pout on his face that just makes your insides tingle with joy. 
"What do you mean? I've had plenty of girls in bed before you, like a whole lot, and none of them have ever called me boring! They loved this adventurous and fun dick, alright? Why do you think-" you raise a brow, scrutinizingly. It still amazes you how with just a simple expression and no words needed, you can make all color from Jungkook's face banish and how quick he is to reach for your hand across his bed. "But I only love youuuu, and you're the best thing that has ever happened to me and my dick like, baby, have I mentioned how head over heels I'm for you?"
"Only like five times today." rolling your eyes again, you pull your hand from his to toy with the peperoni piece on your slice of pizza. Jungkook swallows the lump in his throat, he was starting to get truly concerned now. You couldn't possibly...?
"Are you not satisfied? I mean, do I not make you feel good or...?" there's clear worry in his voice and that makes you meet his eyes, shaking your head hurriedly. Now it's you who take his hand in yours.  
"No! No, babe. I love sex with you! I love everything you do to me, I love how you treat me, I love how you make me feel. I'm a hundred percent satisfied, I swear, It's just..." you sigh, dropping your gaze to rub slow and reassuring circles to the ink adorning his skin. "All I'm saying is... I may also want to experience what all those girls have experienced with you, y'know... the not so vanilla stuff. But you always seem to be scared to try new things with me, and I don't know if it's because of m-"
"Baby," Jungkooks soft voice calls out to you, removing the pizza box in between the two of you to slide closer to you on the mattress. He craddles your face with his fingers, tilting your chin up to make eye contact with you. "_____, don't say that. I just don't ever want to cross any boundaries. I don't want to hurt you or do anything you might not like or regret later, you know that, right?" placing a small kiss on your lips, you hum in content nodding your head yes.
"I know that." you pull him for another brief kiss, oddly not caring about the faint taste of garlic and spice on them because that's what love will do to you. "But what if I do want you to hurt me? What if I want you to fuck my mouth with no mercy until I cry and slap my face after you've cum all over it while you call me a slut?" you pause, eyes meeting his through your eyelashes. "Or viceversa."
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It's not that Jungkook is afraid. Because Jungkook is afraid of nothing in this world. He will murder any spider in his way, he will throw a punch to anyone who denies mint chocolate ice cream as the superior ice cream flavour -and he knows that means he will have to literally fight like the entire population on planet earth-, and he will Rey Mysterio you if you ever discredit or deny his incredible skills playing Overwatch.
Jeon Jungkook prides himself in being fearless in every aspect of his life. Except when it comes to you. 
So yeah, maybe he was a little afraid. Because hearing you use the words 'choke', 'slap' and 'slut' in the same sentence did things to him that he didn't deem possible considering none of you were newbies anymore to intimicy. You have been together for three months, for God's sake, but you still made his cock twitch like the first day and he's sure in twenty years you'll have the exact same effect on him.
He didn't want his most primal instincts to overpower the respect and love he'd harboured for you since you were kids because at the end of the day, one, you were still his best friend's little sister, two, he appreciated you too much to ever cross any lines, and three, as cliché as it sounded, you were nothing compared to the girls he had been with previously. What he feels towards you cannot be compared to anything he had experienced before. 
And fuck, was he in a predicament. Because you made him weak in his knees for you and you were not even aware of it. You were not aware of how badly he has wanted to explore and take things way further, way out of both his and your comfort zones. But he's terrified. He's terrified because all he wants is to to take care of you and what if he fails at the one thing he's swore to himself? What if he lets the darkest side of him consume him and at the same time consume you? What if he does actually hurt you, not just psichologically but also physically?
He would never be able to forgive himself. And neither could Taehyung.
And that, was also tormenting him.
Taehyung seemed fine with the two of you dating -or at least that blow to Jungkook's face seemed to ease things between them-, but Jungkook is not dumb and has felt his best friend slowly distancing himself. 
Sure, they were still best friends and will ever will. Taehyung is loyal to Jungkook and Jungkook is loyal to Taehyung. Has been that way since they were five and that will not change just because Jungkook's caught feelings for his little sister.
But the phonecalls were not as often and not as long as they used to be; in rare occasions Jungkook could sense a certain type of awkwardness between them that really had never happened in their friendship, and sometimes Taehyung's jokes seemed to hold more truth than lightheartedness. 
And to top it all off, Jungkook's dilemma regarding you was eating him alive and, usually he would turn to Taehyung for girl advice, only to later realize he was also frightened of doing that. 
But a Friday night at 2 a.m, Jungkook decides he can't take it anymore. 
"Sup, man." Taehyung's voice answers Jungkook's phone call on the second ring, like he always does. 
"Hey, bro." Jungkook clears his voice, suddenly feeling self conscious. "Are you busy?"
"I don't know," his friend seems to be chewing on what Jungkook bets is red Skittles -yes, only the red ones- because he just knows him too well. "Are you busy still fucking my little sister?" 
Taehyung chuckles at his own joke, but Jungkook doesn't. He knows there's no malice, but he can't help to think there might be. He settles for a sigh. "Yeah." he can hear some shuffling on the other side and the clicking of a computer mouse. Jungkook would also bet he was playing Among Us and he would lie if he said he wasn’t disappointed he hadn't called him to play with him. "Y'know what, it's not even important, I'll just call y-"
"Come on, man. You haven't even laughed at that and you usually laugh at everything I say even when no one else does." Taehyung swirls in his chair, his attention fully focused on his best friend. "Seriously, what's bothering you." Jungkook takes a deep breath, rubbing the side of his face. 
"It's about _____."
"_____? As in, my little sister? Who you're fucking?"  
"Tae, dude-"
"Okay, okay, I'm sorry. Go on." Taehyung stiffles a laugh and waits patiently for Jungkook to continue.
"She um... Fuck, I hope this isn't weird, dude. I really do. She wants to like... rough it up in the bedroom, I guess? And I just... I don’t know... I'm terrified dude." There's silence filling the gap between Taehyung and Jungkook and Jungkook almost feels like throwing up. 
"You're coming to me for sex advice... about my little sister?"
"I know, dude but... Who else I'm supossed to talk to? Jimin? Hoseok?" Jungkook sits up on his bed, an ugly knot beginning to form in his stomach. "I mean, you're my best friend," Jungkook swallows again, voice cracking. "...right?"
It's Taehyung's turn to sigh after a few seconds before he replies. "Forever and always, bro." His tone settles Jungkook's uneasiness. There's nothing but honesty in it. "Listen, Guk. I really don't know what kind of advice to give you because, literally, ew. But I do know my sister, and if that's what she wants and she's communicated with you about it, it’s because she trusts you. And I trust you more than anyone in my life. So there you go, man."
Relief washes all over Jungkook's body and he lays back on the bed again, heart not beating as hard as it was a few seconds ago. 
"Thanks, dude." Jungkook smiles. "Sorry for calling you so late."
"No problem, bro." Taehyung smiles as well, swirling his chair back to his computer screen. A weight of his own being lifted. "Among Us next time?"
"Yeah, I'll let you know. Good night, bro."  
Taehyung calls Jungkook's name before he can hang up. "Hey, man?"
"Yeah, man?"
There's a pause between them and then Taehyung speaks. "I love you, man."
Jungkook supresses the threat of tears about to spill because he knows Taehyung would try to bruise his other other eyebrow if he ever found out. Or hug him to death. Or both.
"I love you too, bro."
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"This reminds me of the first time you gave me a blowjob." Jungkook chuckles, watching you get down on your knees between his spread thighs, make up free and sporting a similar low messy bun as that time he's mentioning, except this time you're wearing one of his hoodies engulfing your smaller frame. Proof that this time around, you're exclusively his and no one else’s.
"You mean the blowjob of your life." you giggle as you reach out to pull down his sweatpants, deligthed to see he decided on not wearing any underwear. Your spit on the back of your hand and immediately wrap it around the base of his rock hard cock while his own darts out to push the strands falling down your face behind your ear, heart eyes emoji looking down at you looking up at him. 
Your tongue swirls around the tip timidly, swallowing the drop of precum oozing as he sighs heavily and lovingly. "Every blowjob you give me is the blowjob of my life." he unties your hair from the band holding it together because he prefers his fingers to be the hair tie, prefers to be the one to guide the bobbing of your head up and down his dick. 
You hum in appreciation against him, cherry balmed lips wrapping fully around the head of his cock and he hums back. "Love seeing you on your knees for me with your pretty mouth stuffed, fuck." You take him deeper, closing your eyes. 
Your hand moving accordingly to your mouth and your panties already wet, clinging to your folds. It's really not your fault Jungkook is the most delicious eye candy on earth and how fast can the mere sight of him make your pussy lips quiver. You slurp around the head obscenely , a moan of yours mixing with a moan of his. "Hands on your back." 
You obligue, removing your hands and growing excited at the dominating low tone his voice exerts. The grip he has on your hair tightens and controls your motions, pushing you further down his dripping shaft until your nose hits his pubic bone. He holds you there, his own eyes closing shut and his dick twitching insde your mouth. A thrust of his hips make you gag and has one of your hands flying to tap his leg two times, letting him know you were in need for air. 
He releases you, pulling you back until his cock is pulsating in front of you. He looks down at you, both breathless but the difference is you look so messy. Eyes watery, chest moving heavily and saliva leaking from your lips. 
Yeah, there was a reason Jungkook hasn't been like this with you before. The sight of you submitting completely and looking so nasty was too much for him to handle. He might never want to see you any other way than this. 
"Isn't this what you wanted, huh?" the free hand that had been supporting his weight on the matress grasps your face harshly, making you lock eyes with him.
 "I thought you wanted me to choke you with my cock like a little whore?" you nod your head eagerly, unable to form words. Your pussy throbs, prompting you to rub your thighs to get some sort of relief as his thumb smears the spit adorning your lips. You're quick to envelop it in the warmth of your mouth, an involuntary moan leaving your throat. "Such a pretty slut," he lets his cock slap against your cheek, removing his thumb to move his hand back to his previous position. "Open again."
You do, his length entering your mouth again -that you gladly accept- and then he's shoving you down by your hair. "Shit, gonna fuck your mouth so good..." 
And he does, not holding back anymore, his hand thrusting your head along his shaft until your throat tightens around him repeteadly, struggling for breath. But you take it, you take the aggresiveness and the degradation because fuck, you've been waiting for so long to know what this feels like. To have Jungkook be mean and have this type of control and power over you and you're enjoying it a bit too much. 
"F-fuck, I'm gonna cum, leave your mouth open." he releases on your tongue, not able to look away from the image of you with tears falling down your eyes and mouth drenched with him and your spit, some of his cum staining down your chin and the corners of your lips that he gathers with his thumb and pushes back into your mouth. He groans, watching you swallow all of it like a good girl, your tongue grazing around his digit for the remainings, gaze not leaving his. "Let me grab my phone real quick, I need to take a picture of this."
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You were definitely not the jealous type.  
You prided yourself on being able to recognize when your behaviours were due to your own insecurities and removing all sorts of feelings of uncertainty from your mind. You never liked toxic patterns or the glamorization of them and your relationship with Jungkook was proof. You knew relationships were supossed to be based on blind trust and faith in your partner and yours definitely reciprocated in the same way. 
"So can anybody tell me why Eunha is basically all over my boyfriend right now?" you wish you could blame your state on Hoseok's weed, who's sitting on the left side of the couch right next to you at the frat party. You really wish you could have an explanation for the way your heart tugged in such a weird way and your stomach swirled dangerously until almost making you nauseous. You really tried to blame your overthinking on the joint you had just passed to your friend. 
You knew it was bound to happen someday, especially considering Jungkook had always been a ladies' man and the kind of attraction from both men and women he was able to manifest, willing or unwillingly. You just never thought it would happen so soon and in such way that made you clench your fists so tight and your nails dig into the palm of your hands so painfully. 
"I mean, they did have like a long fling a few years ago, didn't they?" Seulgi, sitting on your right, chimes in. 
That was true. Longer than most flings Jungkook ever had before you.  
"Yeah, before she dumped him." Hoseok adds.
Your eye twitches and your jaw contracts. Because that, was also true, and it was mostly what was bothering you so much. 
Had it been Jungkook the one to move away from his situationship with Eunha like with most girls, you wouldn't have such a problem with the way she's shamelessly leaning towards him from across the room. Or the way she's twirling a strand of her hair between one of her fingers while battling her lashes. Or the way she's hysterically laughing at whatever he was saying, because your boyfriend was funny, but he was not that funny. 
You were not the jealous type, and Jungkook definitely wasn't giving you any reason to be, because as coquettish as the blonde was being or as provocatively as she was pushing her tits into his arm, he politely keeps his distance and tries to also engage with Jimin in conversation, leaving her pouting. But that wasn't enough to not make you start seriously questioning your feminist ethics right now. 
"Wait, you're not jealous, are you?" Seulgi turns to you, offering you the joint -how long had you been focusing your attention on Jungkook and Eunha to not realize it was your turn again to smoke?-. You take it, hesitating between answering right away or taking a hit before doing that. You were never a good liar. You look between your two friends who are looking back at you with their eyebrows raised.
"I-" you close your mouth and run your fingers through your hair. "Maybe? I don't know what I'm feeling and I don't like it one bit." 
"Aw, babe." Seulgi squeezes your knee, eyes showing you sympathy. "Jealousy is a natural response to any relationship."
"I know..." you take the joint in your hand, taking a long drag before letting the smoke out. "I just don't want to sound like an insecure little bitch!" you whine. "I don't want to be like 'Oh, why would Jeon Jungkook, a God of the Olympus, dare give his attention to a peasant as unworthy as me!?' Like no, he's just a man. A little less mediocre than most but a man nontheless. I'm not going to doubt myself or other women just because he's more beautiful than most, and hotter, and funnier and has a massive co-" you notice you're getting carried away by the look of disgust in Hoseok's face and Seulgi trying to hold back a laugh. 
"Anyways, he's lucky to have me. We're both lucky to have each other but sometimes I feel like I might be the luckiest out of the two. And seeing Eunha looking so pretty and throwing herself at him is triggering me because..." you pause to take a deep breath and lounch back on the couch. "What if he realizes one day that I'm luckier than he is and he could be luckier with someone else?"
There's, ironically, a long silence. Ironically because the sound of Travis Scott making the walls tremble is anything but, until Hoseok speaks.
"I think you feel that way because you still haven't seen how that boy looks at you, _____." and then he motions to the spot from across the room you had been observing for too long, the spot where Jungkook is now glancing at you after noticing your detectable distress, with a frown on his features. 
'You okay?' he mouthes, his fist raising in the air in a thumbs up, questioningly.  
Your heart jerks, and not out of bitterness or envy caused by a girl trying to get your boyfriend's attention. Because his attention is always entirely on you, no matter how many feet are separating the two of you. 
'Yes' you mouth back, with a nod of your head and an encouraging smile that has formed itself on your face. He beams as well at you. Mouthes an 'I love you' and puckers his lips in a flying kiss that makes you giggle. You mimic him, your heart tight against your chest. 
Hoseok is right. You have nothing to worry about.
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Jungkook is in love with you. Sometimes, he thinks, he's too in love with you.
"Can't believe I'm letting you do this."
"Can't believe you're such a pussy."
Jungkook huffs in annoyance. He would smack your ass right now if his hands weren't restricted by a scarf of yours he had never seen before to your bedpost. He would also send you a mean look if his eyes weren't covered by the only tie he owned and had so generously lent to you. 
When you mentioned you wanted to try this, he expected you to be in this position. Not the other way around.
He's sprawled on your bed, only his boxers covering him as your legs straddle his waist and you tighten the hold of the scarf around his wrists sternly. He winces and manages an 'Hey!' He knows you're only wearing your panties because he can't feel anything else and he's felt one of your naked tits brushing  his face as you tied him up. He also tried to catch one of your nipples in his mouth as a form of punishment, to no use because you swiftly backed away from his attempt. 
"I've never been a bottom before, this is new for me." he says. He really doesn't mind any of this. He's just not used to it. He knows he'd be lying if he said it didn't turn him on a little bit, even if he'd rather be the one to have you completely unmoving and naked beneath him. Especially now that you're skimming your nails up and down his torso.
"Mm, good to know." your lips follow the path your fingers created, from the center of his chest up, moving steadily and tracing soft kisses over his flesh. 
"Don't worry. I'll be gentle." you croon, dragging your tongue from the pulse of his neck to his earlobe, nails scraping lightly over his left nipple. Jungkook shudders, air sucked in through his teeth as his mouth opens on its own. Taking advantage of this, you place a kiss on the corner of his lips before slipping your tongue inside. 
He answers simultaniously, his own tangling with yours, swallowing each other's moans. Your hips set a slow peace, clothed cad core griding over the length poking between your thighs. His hips move unvoluntarily, trying to find some sort of friction to make up for the fact that his hands are unavailable to knead your ass and pull you closer, if that was even possible.
You separate from him, raising on your knees. Jungkook whines in protest, hips buckling up from the mattress to try to meet yours again.
"Jungkook, I'm serious, stay still!" 
"I take it back." his voice shaky and hands straining against the tight hold the scarf you tied around has on them. "I don't like this. Untie me so I can fuck you, babe." he complains. You sit on his tiny waist, your thighs trying to stop his movements. 
You take a moment to assess him. He looks too beautiful for his own good: hair courtaning his forehead, biceps bulging and abs flexing. You can't see his eyes but you know they might be glassy. You bite your lip to supress a whine of delight. You almost consider doing as he says. Almost. 
But you mantain your ground. Your jealousy from the other night had been crawling slowly from within these past few days and since you couldn't take it out on Jungkook any other way because he really wasn't to blame, you figured you'd try something new to punish him and let some of your supressed anger vanish. 
Twisting your body back to pull down his boxers, not all the way, just enough to have his cock springing free from the confines of the fabric and slapping against your asscheeks.
"Has toxic masculinity seriously polluted your brain so much you can't take this seriously?" you fall forward, one of your hands balancing you beside his head as the other wraps around his neck, a tentative hold not yet to constrict his breathing. 
He gulps, his body's tense and his Adam's apple is prominent under your touch. All he can see is black but he'd do anything to watch your pretty tits bouncing in front of his face. "I don't like this conversation either." he pouts.
"Then why are you so hard?" you grin, holding yourself back from laughing as he hesitates for an answer. You lean closer, mouth against his ear as you whisper. "I'm so wet right now, I could take you just like this. No lubrication at all and my pussy would just swallow your dick." Feeling his girth still between your ass flutter, clearly affected by the sultry tone of your voice. You remove your hand from his neck seeing as he has stopped moving obediently. Reaching back, you slide your panties to the side and align your entrance to the head of his leaking cock. 
"Fuck, baby, please~" Jungkook's pleads fills the air, hips desperately back in motion and sliding just a few inches inside your drenched heat. The warmth envoles him instantly, your pussy pulsates around him and neither of you can't help the in synch groans tearing from your throats. 
"Just the tip" you lick your lips, your voice betraying you as you resist the urge to glide the rest of his lenght inside your quivering core.
"Just the tip, my ass." 
Out of sudden, Jungkook is swiftly lifting his hips from the matress, sinking all the way in. You cry as your body jumps forward, face hidden in the juncture of Jungkook's sweaty neck. His thick cock stretches you out as nice and deep and perfectly as he always does. You mewl. This was not supossed to happen at all.  
"See? This is what you really wanted." you can hear the chuckle threatening to spill from his lips, anger starting to boil inside of you again. 
Regaining a little bit of your lost control, you lift yourself on your trembling knees and sit back again, the tip of his dick hitting your cervix. You groan in unision, placing your hands on the hard planes of his chest and steadying yourself to try to reclaim your dominance. Finding it troublesome, because Jungook is set on having it his own way, his thrusts meeting yours in perfect synch.
You really shouldn't feel your climax approaching so soon but somehow battling for control while bickering with Jungkook is about to send you over the edge and that's making you even more annoyed.
"I swear to God, Jungkook. If you don't stop moving and shut the fuck up..." your murmur through gritted teeth, jaw slackened and eyes fluttering shut.  
"What?" he spats, breathing rugged and voice coarse. "If I don't shut up, you'll wha-"
The sound of a sharp smack echoes inside your room and Jungkook's movements freeze on the spot. His head is turned to the side from the impact, and a faint print of your fingers is adorning his  already stinging cheek. None of you mutter anything for a few seconds, until concerned words start to rush out of you.
"Ohmygod, Jungkook, I-"
"Did you just slap me?" Jungkook is unmoving, his mouth agape and you can picture the incredulous expression his eyes might be oozing. "Baby, what the fuck?!" You're mortified. Your hands cover your mouth and your eyes, wide open, stare down at him although he can't stare at you back.
"Babe, I don't know why I did that, you wouldn't stop talking and I know that's not an excuse but it-" 
"It was fucking hot." a breathy laugh in disbelief leaves his chest. Your forehead creases, hands falling down to your chest to try to steady your incessant heartbeat. His tongue darts between his pearly teeth, a smug smirk on his features. An eyebrow of yours raises as you size him up, the realization that his body is completely motionless now hitting you.
Lurging forward, you pinch his jaw between your fingers, your hips carry on their grinding on their own accord. He releases a raspy moan, your walls clenching around him as another hit strikes his cheek, softer this time. 
"You gonna be good to me?" you mutter against his lips. He nods slowly, his mouth salivating as your hips swirl on top of him. He blindly tries to reattach his mouth to yours, but you dodge him, going for the skin of his clavicle instead. "Can I fuck you slow like this until you're filling me with your cum?" He squirms when he feels you sucking a pretty purple bruise on his flesh, your cunt dropping all the way down his cock, leisurly grinding against his pelvic bone, looking yourself to find some relief to your clit. 
"Ah!" his head tilts back, back slighlt arching as you soothe the mark on his neck with your tongue. "That m-might be s-sooner than you think, babe" he admits timorously, swallowing the lump in his throat, the veins on his neck on full display. 
You sigh in content because, thankfully your orgasm is also closer than he thinks it is. "M-me too-" you gasp, your face buried on his shoulder, letting your fingers brush his ebony hair, nails gently scrapping his scalp as you keep the tortuous movements of your hips against his, his girth hitting that spot just right everytime until you feel the knot in your tummy finally snapping. "C-cum, J-Jungkook, I-m-"
Jungkook doesn't need to be told twice because he has been holding back from it for a while now, not really willing to admit he was enjoying this as much as he was. With a thrust of his own fused with the way your pussy is tightening around him it's enough to send him over the edge, an unpredicted cry emanating from his vocal chords harmonizing with your own, his whole body tensing as your walls milk every single drop of his cum. 
For several minutes you stay just like that. Jungkook's hands still tied, blindfold still on, his mouth still agape as his chest rises and falls until his breathing becomes steady again. And you, on top, your fingers tangled in his dark locks, your breath fanning against his neck and his release dripping down your thighs. You stay like that until your body starts shaking with uncontrollable laughter. 
Jungkook tilts his head towards yours, eyebrows furrowing and eyes still covered.
"What was that noise?" you manage through your giggle fit. "'Aaah!'" You've never made a noise like that before, I can't- it was so funn-"
Even while still being strained and blindfolded and with you making fun of him, a loopsided goofy smirk starts making an appearence on Jungkook's features. 
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Fancy dinner parties were never your thing. 
Wearing heels that were too high -specifically to try to match Jungkook's height-, a new expensive dress that you were surely going to return as soon as the event was over because you definitely could not afford it and socializing with Jungkook's clique was definitely not the way you envisioned your Saturday night going. 
At least Jungkook had barely been able to keep his hands for himself at the sight of you wrapped in emerald green silk and lace. But even that couldn't make you feel less uncomfortable and out of place. 
Yugyeom, one of Jungkook's friends, had definitely more money than your boyfriend had previously let you know. Apparently, being a 'lil rich' as Jungkook had mentioned meant booking a luxurious restaurant to hold a dinner party with at least fifty people who looked just as 'lil rich' as Yugyeom's Gucci tuxedo.  
'It'll be alright babe. Yugyeom always insists on celebrating his birthday like it's an Oscar after party. We'll just eat some of that disgusting caviar and then head home to watch Netflix, I swear'. 
And yes, caviar was gross, but so was the fact that Jungkook had failed to mention a certain someone would also be making an appearence. 
After introducing you to a few of his friends and realizing that Mingyu's frendliness and amiability helped you feel more relaxed, he had excused himself to the bathroom, leaving you and his friend to entangle in a heated conversation about How I Met Your Mother's finale season. 
You were thankful for Mingyu's humble nature and easygoing talk for a few minutes until you finally spotted your boyfriend making his way back into the room, stopping in his tracks to acknowledge a group of friends from his class. 
Again, you wouldn't have such a problem with a certain blonde if she would just stop looking at Jungkook with stars in her eyes and pressing her cleavage against him while playing with her hair. It was hard to keep track of your conversation with Mingyu while Eunha was standing right next to your boyfriend and seemingly ogling up at him. It was also hard to not let your mind waver to dangerous territory when you took notice of how disgustingly good they looked together. 
Just two attractive people who would look disgustingly good together. 
Mingyu's voice makes you turn back to him. 
"...I don't know, like, Barney was a womanizer until Robin, you know? He changed for her! They were just perfect for each other, but they had to throw it all away by killing the mother and then making Robin marry Ted? And Barney going back to his old ways?" Mingyu sounds exhasperated and you would laugh and find it cute if your stomach wasn't tugging again in a way that made you regret drinking so much wine so fast. Specially after his last statement.  
"That's what I'm saying." you mumble, turning your attention back to your boyfriend in the crowd.
Jungkook wouldn't go back to his old ways. He loves you. There's nothing to worry about.
But as you watch him start to make his way towards you, you also watch the way Eunha grabs the sleeve of his blazer to pull him back. She leans in, whispers something in his ear to which he just shakes his head, says something that it's impossible to decipher from here you're standing and simply walks in your direction. 
Still, as much as you tried to be neutral and objective and not a 'jealous little bitch', it's almost impossible to hide the sour expression on your face. It's impossible to unclench your jaw throughout the entire evening or lose the too tight grip on your glass of wine. Even when Jungkook whispers in your ear if you're okay, you merely nod yes. You avoid eye contact with him and everytime he tries to slip your hand into his, you dodge him it by wrapping your arms around yourself, claiming how cold it is.
Jungkook is not dumb. 
He know something's up but he's also not stupid enough to cause a scene in public or preassure you into talking. So he settles on wating and being patient. Even as he slips his jacket on your stiff shoulders with pouty lips and his eyebrows drawn together, all he does is press a small kiss to the back of your neck. It takes all power within you to not throw yourself in his arms. 
But as midnight approaches and it's time to leave, you notice a change in Jungkook's behaviour as you say your goodbyes. His hand on your back is not just a soft caress, instead, his fingers pull you closer, dig into your skin as he drags the both of you to where his car is parked. Now it's him who avoids your gaze. His tensed jaw and his tongue pressing against the inside of his cheek is a visible indicator that Jungkook is pissed. 
You know his body language as well as he knows yours. And now, as he opens the door of the passanger seat so you can slide in, the guilt and the remorse of acting cold towards him for hours is finally dawning on you. 
"Are you going to tell me now what was that about?" when he closes his own door shut, he doesn't bother to put his seatbelt on. Just grips the steering wheel as he turns to you. 
"I-I don't know what you're t-"
"You don't know what I'm talking about?" he laughs, not a bit of humour in it. "I know scenes like this make you feel uncomfortable but I actually thought everything was going fine. I leave you for five minutes with Mingyu and when I come back, you won't look at me, won't touch me, won't act like I'm your boyfriend. Like I did something wrong. So please, _____, tell me, what's going on?"
You know there's no excuse for the way you acted. You know it's not Jungkook's fault he attracts attention and it most definitely not his fault if an ex of his is still hung up on him. You know it's your own fault and you know you should not try to excuse yourself and fight back. You'd swore to yourself you'd push down any feelings of jealousy deep inside until they disappeared. But something about tonight makes you explode.
"Why was she being all over you?"
Jungkook's face twists in confusion. "What? Who?"
"Eunha! Who the fuck else? She was all over you a few weeks ago at Minghao's party, and she was all over you tonight!" your voice is louder than you would've liked but at this point all you care about is letting it all out.
"This is what all of that was about? Eunha?"
"Yes! I've seen her on campus as well! Always trying to get your attention! I don't care that you have friends in common, but specially tonight, she whispered something to you and she was looking at you like she-"
"Who cares how she looks at me? All you need to care about is how I look at you because the only thing I care about is how you look at me!" Jungkook exclaims, clearly exhausted of this conversation. 
You sink in your seat and look away as the knuckles on his hands turn white from gripping the steering wheel. 
"_____," he calls you gently,  but his voice mantains a stern tone to it. "We don't do jealousy. I thought we were supossed to trust each other blindly. Have I not proved to you how sickenly in love with you I am? Do you not trust me and what I feel?"
"I-... Of course I do. I-just... I don't know. You're right. That was uncalled for." you wrap yourself in the warmth of Junkook's blazer, trying to make his scent wash away any ugly resentment and guilt in your body. 
"Wanna know what she said to me?" a rethorical question, because he was going to tell you anyway. "She asked me if I was going to stay for Yugyeom's after party, way past midnight. Wanna know what I said?" he turns to you. "I said no, I'm spending the night with my girlfriend."
None of you say nothing after that. He just puts his seatbelt on and starts driving. It's not too much of a far drive to his dorm, but the silence and the awkwardness makes it feel so much longer than it should be. You don't remember the last time Jungkook was mad at you. Actually, you don't think Jungkook has ever been mad at you. He loved the banter, loved to tease you, loved being competitive with you. But you had never seen him being avoidant of you. And that feeling tears your heart on the seat of his car.
"Are you mad at me?" you ask, voice barely audible, when the car stops at a red light. His dark eyes meet yours, his face immediately softening as he studies your expression. Then he picks one of your small hands in one of his big ones, brings it to his lips and lightly kisses your knuckles. He communicates with his eyes what he doesn't with words and it's enough to make you feel secure, at least for now.
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When you finally arrive at Jungkook's room, he holds the door ope for you and lets you walk in, but he's still unusually quiet. So much so, you start to worry you might have fucked up big time. 
You stand there, not knowing what to do as you watch him sit down on his bed, slipping his shoes and socks off and loosening the tie around his neck. His hair, that was perfectly styled a few hours ago, is now messy by the amount of times his hand has pushed it back. He looks too yummy, and you hate the fact that tension and a little bit of fighting has managed to make him look as delectable. 
You ignore the heat starting to form in your belly because now it's not the time to be horny. Not when you still need to apologize and make things right. He's rolling  the sleeves of his black shirt down his forearms when you decide to speak. 
"Jungkook, I'm very sorry." you start, as you remove his blazer off you and place it on the chair right in front of his desk. "I don't know why I acted the way I did. I dont get easily jealous and I really don't think I am but..." your throat constricts your words for a moment. "The more I love you, the more frightened I get when I think that one day you'll realize I'm better off as your best friend's little sister. I-I dont know what I'd do with myself if that ever happene-"
"Take off your dress." Jungkook's impassive voice and emotionless face startles you and you freeze on your feet. 
"What?"
"Did I stutter?"
His elbows rest on his knees and he's holding your stare with his. His doe eyes lack that free spirited and amusing glint they usually have. He looks bored, scrutinizing you. He's not challenging you. He's commanding you because he knows you will obligue. 
That's why you gulp and slowly slide the straps of your dress down your arms until the fabric pools at your feet. His eyes waver along your naked breasts, nipples perking up like the mere intensity of his gaze is ordering them to. He doesn't make a move and doesn't say anything for a few seconds. He doesn't compliment you like he normally would at the sight of you almost naked in front of him.
His lack of words make you feel insecure, regardless of how turned on you are. You're used to Jungkook being reassuring, you're used to his lighthearted jokes and his playful kisses in the bedroom. But you're not used to Jungkook telling you what to do and keeping his distance while doing so. Your arms move on their own to hide yourself.
"Don't. If you hide from me, I swear to God, _____." he watches you as you let your arms fall back to your sides, your chest moving up and down while you struggle to breathe. You can't deny Jungkook's gruff voice and his eyes studying every bit of skin available to him like he hasn't seen you naked before is not making your underwear stick to your lower lips. 
"JK, I just don't think this is the right moment to-"
"On my lap." your heart skips a bit, a thrill of excitement coursing through your veins.
"Jungkook-"
"I said, get on my lap, face down." he says again, this time slower. One of his eyebrows quirk up. "Or would you rather me drag you myself? Or make you crawl?"
Your eyes widen, and your feet are quick to approach him. Your nipples tingle, your core is throbbing and your cheeks are adorned by a beautiful blush that Jungkook doesn't miss. 
He doesn't move until you're in front of him, just to help you lower yourself on his lap, your cheek and your nipples touching the mattress and your ass up. You close your eyes when Jungkook skims his fingertips over your skin, his carressing relaxing your body until he eases your nerves a bit. He sighs when he notices the way that poor excuse of a thong sticks between your folds as his strong hands massage your buttcheeks. 
He's taking his time, his fingers gliding over your soft skin, his breathing too calm for your liking. Until one palm of his hand collides sharply against your right cheek, sending your body forward. You gasp, the stinging making your body want to pull away. But he's quick to catch both your wrists behind your back, keeping you in place. 
"Jungk-!"
Another smack, this time harder, on the same cheek. 
"Did I give you permission to talk?"  
Smack. This time on the left cheek. Your back arches on its own will, presenting more of your ass to him unwittingly. Your eyes squeezed shut and bite the inside of your cheek as you rub your thighs together. You keep quiet as his hand lands another blow on your ass. 
"That's a good girl. Now," his voice is gentler this time as his hand soothe your reddened cheeks. "do you think what you did tonight was okay?" you say nothing, only a mewl slips past your lips. Another smack. "Answer me."
"No." you lick your lips, anticipating more. 
"Do you think it was funny to pull a stunt like that?" 
Smack.
"N-no!"
"No, it wasn't. Spread your legs for me." you do as you're told and he finally pulls down the drenched piece of lace down your thighs. He leans forward, spreads your cheeks with one hand as he lets a glob of spit fall directly into your lips. He makes you gasp when his fingers start sliding up and down your folds slowly. 
"I've had to put up with this kind of behavour since the day you begged me to fuck this tight, virgin pussy like the little slut you are." you whine, face red as humiliation starts to creep in. Jungkook slips one finger in, pumping it slow and easy. Your hips move to take him deeper.
"I tried to be a gentleman, you know?" he says, adding a second finger. "I've tried to treat you nice and sweet and be the best boyfriend I could be to make you happy and keep you satisfied in every sense of the word." his thumb finds your clit, rubbing tortuous circles. 
"Been compeletely whipped since I kissed you for the first time. Haven't looked at other girls because I just can't when I have everything I want to look at right in front of me." murmuring, he starts to get lost your pussy and how it swallows his fingers and how obscene you look and sound, dripping right on his trousers. He watches his fingers moving in and out, almost hypnotized. "Yet, somehow..." he pulls away. You whimper in protest. 
"Somehow, you still seem to doubt me." His hand smacks your cheek again, wet fingers spreading your essence all over your skin.
"P-please, please." you cry. You miss Jungkook's sadistic smile before he releases the grip on your wrists, still keeping you on his lap. Both his hands spread your cheeks now, and another glob of spit falls right into your asshole. His fingers find your cunt again, easily taking you almost over the edge.
"If you could only look at yourself right now... All spread out for me like a needy whore in heat" his thumb teases your unexplored rim, hesitantly, coating it with his spit and your own arousal. He presses in slowly. You gasp, your body tenses and Jungkook stills his movements immediately. There's silence for a few seconds. 
"Too far? Should I stop?" and there's your Jungkook, concern lacing his voice. His free hand caresses your back, your body relaxing, laying back down obediently. His fingers are still inside you and his thumb is still asking for entrance. He leans forward, placing a small but comforting kiss on the bruised skin of your right asscheek. 
"Go on." you whisper, but he doesn't move right away. This time, it's his own body that tenses momentarely before going back to his tranquil demeanor. He breathes through his noise as his fingers pick up where they left off. 
"Yeah?" you swear you hear him swallow a lump in his throat. "Gonna let me finger this tight little ass like a good slut? Mm?" his thumb slides deeper, slightly stretching you out while his fingers work your pussy in a solid rhythm. "Gonna let me stretch you out little by little until I can open you up with my cock one day?" his movements speed up, fingers sliding out of your cunt to play with your clit and his thumb slowly moving in and out. "You don't wanna talk now? You just want to stay silent while I fuck your ass and-"
And then you're cumming, so unexpected it takes both of you by surprise. Your hands grip onto Jungkook's sheets, your thighs clasp around his hand as you scream his name. He doesn't stop though. He rides you through it, encouraging words mixing with filthy insults that prolong your orgasm until you're squirming beneath him. 
"Shit, baby... My hand is soaked." he mumbles, as he slowly removes his fingers and thumb from you. "You okay?"
You faintly nod your head yes, not able to find words through your dry mouth and your pussy still convulsing. 
"Good. Get on the bed. On your hands and knees." 
You somehow manage to slip from his lap and position yourself as he says. Except your arms and legs are shaking. Although the sound of Jungkook undoing his belt and his hands gripping your hips and bringing you towards him until the head of his dick is at your entrance is enough to make you forget about how tired your body is. You surrender to him, not even bothering to hold yourself up on your arms, your fingers crumbling the sheets and your face buried into the pillow. 
When his cock enters you, a pitiful moan leaves your mouth. His thick lenght slides into your heat, filling you perfectly as he always does. It's a wonder how well he fits inside you. 
"Such a perfect slut for me. Always ready for me to do whatever I want with her, since day one. So tight, so ready. So, so perfect. All mine." he talks as measured as he moves, dragging each word out as his hips find a nice tempo. 
Then he doesn't move for a while with his dick buried between your walls, and you know he's holding himself back. You turn your head slightly to look at him. He catches your eyes instantly. Sees your mascara running down your watery eyes, and your smudged lipstick and your messy hair and then he's giving you that look. That look that lets you know that Jungkook is, indeed, whipped for you. Leaning in, he presses his shirt-covered chest to your sweaty, naked back. His cock dives deeper, not an ounce of space between you as he lovingly kisses your cheek until his mouth finds yours. 
He kisses you hard but soft, tongue meeting yours for the first time since you entered the room. Jungkook is not a man of words. He's silly, and a jokester, and finds it difficult to express how he's feeling. But when he kisses you, or looks at you, when he touches you, or when he makes love to you, even if it's as dirty and filthy as right now, he's always able to transmit exactly what he can't vocally.
He's telling you there's no other place he'd rather be than here, with you. 
When he pulls back, a string of saliva still connecting your lips, his hand moves to the back of your head, fisting your hair in a tight hold that makes you arch your back and desperately moan for him.
"A-and you're mine." you sob.
It's like something snaps inside of him. He growls and suddenly his hips lose control. He nails you against the mattress, his grip on your hair pulling your head back, his lips against your ear as your cunt clenches around his cock. 
"Just yours. All yours." his grunts send shivers down your spine and you're close again, even in the painful and uncomfortable position your body is in. Being at Jungkook's mercy and him being at yours is enough to have you seeing starts.
"This is the only pussy I want wrapped around my cock. Your lips are the only ones I want to kiss. You're the only one I want between my arms." It only takes two flickers of Jungkook's free hand against your nub and his next words to tip you over. "You belong to me, and I belong to you."
You squeal as you come, and Jungkook bites your shoulder to keep himself from doing so as well as he follows shortly. He fills you up with his release,  but he doesn't release you from him. He wraps his arms around your frame, both your bodies becoming soft as he rolls over to one side with your back still pressed to his chest, cock still inside you. His lips find their way to the skin of your shoulder and the back of your neck. His breath fanning your flesh makes you smile.
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"That is so not like my sister. I'm telling you, she never gets jealous." Taehyung says over the phone. He's munching on something again and Jungkook would bet all the money in his wallet again he's eating Skittles. Red Skittles. "So, everything cool now?"
"Yeah, man. We just talked it out, you know?" Jungkook's gaze falls on you, laying on your stomach on his bed, laptop iluminating your face, earbuds on and your head moving to whatever music you're listening to. Jungkook would bet all the money in his bank account it's Shape Of My Heart by The Backstreet Boys. Or at least that's what he's been able to guess so far. He was never good at reading lips, specially when trying to guess boybands' lyrics. 
Friday's nights meant late 1990's/early 2000's pop nostalgia for you. It meant shaking his head and spending the following week trying to get Britney and Xtina songs out of his brain for him. Although lately, he hadn't been trying that hard. Jungkook sighs in content, not really trying to cover the fact that he might be looking at you like a starstruck teenager. Which, it was totally fair because that's exactly how he feels about you. "Communication is key, bro."
He keeps watching you until your head perks up and catch him gawking. You smile at him and he smiles back.
"By 'communication is key' you mean you actually fucked my little sister silly right? Bro, I swear, I'll block your numb-"
"Sorry man, gotta go." 
"And now you're gonna fuck her silly again, right? You son of a b-"
Jungkook hangs up just as you take your earbuds off, making his way to you to kiss you silly.
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flashflashhundredyarddash · 4 years ago
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batkids and their relationships with their siblings headcanons. under read more because this got fucking LONGGG
dick
dick is the eldest so he doesnt want to bog down his younger siblings with his problems, but if he DOES, he tends to talk to jason about it
dick and cass start to really begin to bond when Cass shows up to dicks gymnastics class for 3rd-6th graders and then cass shows up all the sixth graders and they get frozen yogurt after lmao
dick and tim are Very much thick as thieves. tim is very much like bruce on the Emotional Suppression scale, so dick just really wants to make sure his little brother is safe and happy ALL the time
Duke and Damian are the only two really permanently at the manor anymore, so when dick drops by he tries to do something with both of them. duke frantically zoom calls dick every other week to help him with his his trig homework. dick shows up to dukes high school graduation with literally the BIGGEST SIGN
everyone insists damian is dicks favorite but he does actually genuinely love all his siblings equally, his relationship with damian is just Very different from the others because of the age gap and being dami's primary caretaker for a year. dick babies dami every chance he gets
jason
would sell Dick to satan for One corn chip
him and cass don't have the greatest start to their relationship because cass is very much Against Killing so it takes a while for jason to warm up to her and earn her trust. now, though, jason is competing with steph by showing cass all the classic American Teenager things she missed out on. steph is currently winning but jason is like 98% positive a crunch wrap from taco bell is going to push him over the edge
tim and jason are currently competing over who can solve the most cases in a month. tim is winning. that won't last long.
jason Loves to Big Brother duke its so embarrassing. duke will get out of school and go to his car and jason is SITTING IN THE FRONT SEAT FRANTICALLY WAVING TO GET DUKES ATTENTION. JASON THAT IS MY CAR. signal has one (1) mission with arsenal and arsenal goes hey did you ask that girl to homecoming yet and duke is like I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOU.
Damian is proof that Actually, Little Brothers are Pests. Jason fully believes that he was brought back from the dead PURELY to torment damian and he will fulfill this mission at any cost
cassandra
it actually really upset her when Dick didn't accept her at first. she knows her other siblings really adore dick so his lack of trust was really disheartening. it takes dick a while but once he Actually Accepts that cass is going to be a permanent part of their life and oh, wow, dick you really hurt her feelings he really hyperfocuses on bonding with cass for a couple of months which definitely improves their relationship
she really likes jason!! their relationship doesn't start well but because he's close with steph and tim who are cass's top two favorite people to exist ever, cass is like well i GUESS ill hang out with him more. jason is fun to talk to because he always tries his best to explain jokes and give context to what people are talking about (also tim took her to taco bell already but she didn't tell jason she just wanted to hang out)
cass LOVES tim. they just click okay. tim always seems to know when to give her space and when to push and come closer. Tim's "guest room" is just her room lets be real. tim and cass occasionally get mistaken for twins and Cass Loves it.
duke makes cass listen to metal once and cass loses. her. damn. mind. they bond over music a lot because they both Love Music to a degree the others in their family don't.
damian!! damian is her little brother!!! dami isn't As Hostile to cass at first because he is 100% aware cass has the edge in fighting and respects her. cass likes all of his instagram posts and they have a snapchat streak going
tim
tim Loves dick, dick was his first sibling!! he had Very strong hero worship when he first met dick but it mellowed out when tim got older because wow 17 is really not that cool and mature lol. tim has an open invitation to dick's apartment which he does occasionally take advantage of. tim has more than once scared the shit out of wally when wally comes over and wally is convinced they're being robbed (HA) for half a second. i mean. he's not wrong.
listen. tim understands that forgiving the guy who tried to kill you would be a Struggle for some people and it was! definitely! but also at least he can trust jason to, uh, be open about if he doesn't like tim. which is not an assurance he has with other people. so if the guy who tried to kill him tells him tim is cool now then like. maybe tim isn't that bad or annoying a person? also jason arrested a whole gang and won the cases competition but then it created a power vacuum that the whole batfam had to clean up the rest of the month. thanks, jason.
tim LOVES cass. you know how most of the time theres this empty feeling inside you and you just kind of ignore it because you don't know what will fix it or if you do, you know you can't fix it? cass makes that empty feeling feel a little less empty. they just click. tim always tries to travel with cass whenever she leaves gotham.
tim and duke. Tim is actually the sibling who duke goes to whenever he has questions he doesn't want to ask bruce or alfred about, like, life or vigilante-ing or school or college or whatever and Tim is always like yes!! i love Giving Advice and Solving Problems!! tim and duke and jason fill out their college applications together.
tim and damian. LMAO. ROUGH START THAT'S ALL ILL SAY. at some point alfred goes like fuck it. family therapy. and tim and dami are PISSED. tim and damian get along best when they have a common enemy to work against. their relationship gets much better when damian is older and they actually talk about their feelings like emotionally stunted bats. despite how bad their relationship was, tim will ALWAYS protect damian
duke
very much intimidated by dick at first. dick is so much older and has his own job and friends and life and is very much AN ADULT. dick likes to take duke out to do lots of cool stuff (paintball, lasertag, tech exhibitions, concerts, etc). also, dick PERSONALLY introduced duke to superman and is dating THE FLASH. 10/10 awesome big brother.
was intimidated by jason for 0.5 seconds before jason actually opened his mouth and started speaking. jason is literally. So Embarrassing. which is weird because nobody else really seems to feel that way about jason but duke knows he's 100% in the right here. like yeah jason is also An Adult and does Adult Stuff but he's also at the manor like every other weekend???? and he always complains about bruce but always seems to be in the same room bruce is in????? like okay jason. they bond over literature!! jason and duke and alfred will spend literal hours talking about books and duke loves it. duke is the only one who doesn't think jason is funny and jason gets so upset about it lmao.
cass has this one week where she gets really into photography and by virtue of being nearby (and also not nocturnal), duke becomes her victim subject. duke prints out all the pictures and hangs them up in his room (his favorite is one he took when he stole the camera and took a really bad selfie of them together).
tim is closest in age to duke so duke tends to hang around with him a lot. tim introduced duke to his young justice friends and duke is like yes!!! meta-friends!!!! tim really helps duke out with his powers because tim is always like wow i wonder if your powers would work if we did This? can you see farther than other people? is your visible spectrum of light different than other humans? Bruce does the same thing but bruce is boring about it lol.
damian and duke live in the same house and will be in the same room and just send each other social media posts back and forth. they follow each other on instagram and will, OCCASIONALLY, make tik toks together because they're tik tok fiends. each of his siblings have visited his parents once or twice but damian routinely comes with him.
damian
damian gets a special bullet point to say that it took him. forever to come around to the idea of having siblings. he very much believed that he was Bruce's Blood Son and everyone else were just tagalongs or allies. it took him ages to acknowledge that dick, jason, tim, and cass were his siblings, so when duke came and like a week later damian was like Ah, Yes, this is my brother Thomas everyone else was like dude wtf
listen. LISTEN. Obviously. Richard is very highly skilled. and also Father values him highly. and also Richard will listen to Damian complain about his schoolmates. and also Richard is much more patient with Damian than other members of his family. listen....,,, (all this to say damian kind of fucking adores dick lmaooooo this kid).
Todd is kind of unbearable but damian has been informed this is both a normal feeling when it comes to Todd and also big brothers. damian was an only child for ten years so yes, Father, if Todd attempts to tickle me I WILL break his fucking nose. yes i WILL put money in the swear jar but I want you to know i don't regret it. they always try to sneak up on each other but mostly fail.
DRAKE!!! but no lol once damian grows up and is like I Apologize for attempting to murder you it was wrong and you are just as much a son to Father as I am tim is like UGH i guess its cool since ur being so emotionally mature and all. also im 2 for 5 on siblings trying to murder me so im definitely going to win trauma bingo and damian is like i take it back you are insufferable. When Will My Older Siblings Stop Joking About Their Trauma.
CASS!!! listen. cass is cool. Cass Gets It. They have a special Bond. also damian really likes it whenever cass is home because 1) he gets to hang out and do something cool with cass and 2) he feels significantly safer with cass in the house because Nobody will be able to hurt any of their family if Cass is there. ALSO he tries to call her cain but everyone is like DONT DO THAT and he doesn't want to call her wayne bcus theyre ALL wayne (dick adds it on as a middle name but also Richard John Wayne West-Grayson is just. the lamest name ever so dick needs to reconsider it before his upcoming nuptials)((dick will not reconsider it except maybe whether grayson-west would work better)) and so he tries cassandra but cass is like :) call me cass and damian is like cassandra is more formal and respectful and cass is like :) and finally damian just has to give in.
Duke! him and duke actually live together so they get the Most Bonding Time and have a bunch of inside jokes as a result. (is it bad i wanted to laugh because inside jokes... joker... i'll see myself out). they're eating breakfast together (and also alfred sits with them IM NOT A MONSTER ALFIE'S LIKE 70 NOW OKAY) and duke laughs and bruce is like what are you laughing at, son? and duke is like oh damian just showed me this funny meme and then he shows the phone to bruce and bruce grabs it (both the boys groan) and after WAY TOO LONG is like "i don't get it" and so now duke and damian have to try and explain the comedic intricacy of bob's burgers
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petite-ely · 4 years ago
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Afraid // JJ Maybank
Seven- Mommy Issues
Pairing: JJ Maybank x fem routledge! reader
Warnings: mommy issues, mother abandonment, anger, maybe some mistakes, tell me if I missed anything
Description: y/n has always wanted answers about her mother, but the truth seems more harsh than what she had in mind.
A/n : hello, hello friends. Sorry for not updating sooner. I had absolutely no inspiration, lol. Anyways, hope you enjoyyyy! :) (also I know the gif is terrible quality but I really wanted to put this clip and I couldn’t find any cleaner option to make a gif)
Previously
Afraid Masterlist
Song recommendation
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Gif made by me!
As a child, y/n never realized how her family was different than the others. A lot of kids on the cut had single parents, it wasn’t that big of a deal. Her mom had left when she was only three, to go pursue her dream job in Colorado. It wasn’t a bad thing in the girl’s eyes. It didn’t feel like she was missing out on anything.
As she blossomed into adolescence, y/n finally understood how unconventional her family was. She heard the other girls at her school talk about their mothers. About the cakes they made or the precious moments they spent together. Mother-daughter bonding moments. She had to admit it she felt jealous. Or maybe was it envious?
She had lived all her life without a mother to kiss her scraped knees or braid her hair before going to sleep. And she would have given anything to experience it, even for one single night.
It wasn’t that she didn’t love her brother or her father, far from it, she adored them. They were both so precious to her. Still, she felt as if something was missing from her. Or more like someone.
She didn’t remember her mother, she was so young at the time, but she cherished the stories her father had told her. She fed her imagination on these stories. Making up fake memories where her mother was still there. In her heart it was all real. Reality was bitter compared to the sweet comfort of her imagination.
By the time she was 12, she’d heard the famous story enough to know it by heart, each word of the letter engraved into her head. She begged her father again and again. She wanted more stories, even the smallest anecdotes, she wanted to hear them all. Anything to improve the sketch, constantly redrawn, of the woman she didn’t remember. The woman she couldn’t really call a mother.
She knew the story by heart and yet it felt incomplete. She’d heard enough fairytales and read enough books to know when a story was complete. This one wasn’t.
And she was right.
A week after the twins’s 13th birthday, their dad gathered them around the kitchen table. He wanted to talk. It was very important. Y/n had to admit, this was quite strange, as her father was never the one to bring up important issues. In front of him was placed an envelope, yellowed with the years.
The girl knew this envelope all too well. Every scratch, every little bump, she could almost feel them on the tip of her fingers. It was her mother’s letter. This time, when he pulled out the folded pages, a third paper came out. The missing part.
Big John didn’t say anything, only slid the pearl white sheet to the twins. And though no words came out of his mouth, a million could be seen in his gaze. He wore an unfamiliar expression on his face. It was mix of sadness, fear and regrets. It was the expression of a man who only wanted to protect his children from being hurt.
The missing paper read as so:
“This is my dream, John.
And I know you might think there’s a way for us to fix this, but there isn’t. This time you can’t fix it.
When I got pregnant with the kids, I was so scared. And when I told you, I saw this glimmer in your eyes. This flame suddenly being lit inside of you. You were so excited to have your first child and it was twins! You seemed so happy. It was beautiful.
Then I thought that maybe we could do this, maybe I could be a mother. I had you, so everything would be fine. My friends kept talking about this amazing connection that felt with their babies when they were carrying them. But I never felt it with the twins.
And I thought that maybe once I held them in my arms I would finally feel it. That motherly connection. It never came. And I tried, John. I tried so hard. But I just can’t.
I do love them, I love them so much, but not the way you do. Not the way a parent loves their child It can’t do it, I’m sorry. I wasn’t meant to be a mother. Life is cruel that way sometimes.
If there’s one thing I’m certain of, it’s that you were meant for this. I can see it in the way you look at them. You can do this, John. I know.
Be the parent I will never be able to be.”
Y/n’s curious eyes scanned the paper excitedly. Her face showed a variety of emotions in the span of a few minutes. First, excitement and joy, then, confusion and finally, anger. The tip of her ears burned red, her hand shaking beneath the table.
John B. placed the paper on the table, a loud sigh escaping his lips. Though, compared to his sister, he seemed relatively calm.
Y/n couldn’t contain it anymore. She stormed out of the house, her feet shoeless and her shoulders bare. She had no idea where she was going, but she ran.
It didn’t matter. As long as she was going somewhere. As long as she was moving and running, then she wouldn’t have to think. And if she was thinking, then her mind would take her to a bad place. She didn’t want to go there. So she ran.
The Routledges were never reputed to be angry people, much less violent. They were generally very calm, maybe a bit arrogant, but always composed. Of course, when a Routledge was after something, they would do anything in order to obtain it.
But y/n was one of the exception. She was the first Routledge woman in nearly 150 years. For generations, every Routledge man had sons, who had sons, who had sons until her father. He had a son and a daughter.
She wasn’t an angry person or mean in any way. On the contrary, she was kind and gentle. But compared to her brother and her dad, she felt emotions deeply.
And maybe it was her mother’s side and not the Routledge in her. It was so intense, sometimes. Almost blinding, at some moments. It was like the emotions took over her. It didn’t happen very often but it felt like she didn’t control her body anymore.
When she finally came back to her senses, y/n was standing on an empty beach. She hadn’t realized how far she’d gotten until she felt the warm sand under her feet. A cold breeze wrapped itself around her shoulders. She was so far from home. And so alone.
She walked to the ocean, letting her toes dip gently into the water. The water was cold but calming. Her anger slowly disappeared with each breath she took, until finally she could see everything clearly again.
Y/n turned away. She thought of going back home, when a wave of emotions hit her. She fell to the ground. It was like the air had been sucked out of her lungs.
Her chest burned, she felt like she had swallowed fire. Her shoulders shook and loud sobs escaped her lips. She dug her hands into the sand, trying to ground herself. It didn’t stop her tears from crashing onto her shirt.
A shadow appeared in front of her and she recognized its shape in a matter of seconds. It could only be one person.
“Are you hear to laugh at me?” She said through tears.
“No, not this time,” said John B. He sat down beside her, his eyes looking into hers. “Oh, y/n.” He wiped the tears off of her face
“I’m sorry,” she sniffled. “It’s just that, that,” he placed his arm around her shoulder, she took a deep breath. “Part of me always thought that she would come back.”
“That she’d come stay with us and finally be our mom. But she’s never coming back, ever,” her tone was almost accusing. “I lost so much time making up scenarios for her and she doesn’t even love us.”
“You know that’s not true,” reasoned John.
“Yeah, but it feels like it.”
“We don’t need her anyway,” stated the boy. “We’ve got dad, surfing, plenty of fish and well, each other. It’s not that bad is it?”
“No, you’re right.” She looked at him. “I just feel like I’m missing out on something. Like I’m,” she paused, looking for the right word, “incomplete.”
“I get it. If the roles were reversed and dad wasn’t there, I guess I would feel that way too,” confided her brother. “But don’t give her this much power. She doesn’t get to make you feel this way. You’re whole on your own, y/n/n.”
“Thank you, bird.” She slid her arm around his shoulder, letting her head rest on top of it. “You know, you can be an amazing brother sometimes.”
“Sometimes?”
“Yeah, sometimes.”
“Hey, bird?” “Yeah?”
“How did you find me, anyway?”
“You always come here when you wanna be dramatic.”
“I do not!”
“You so do!”
And slowly, the imaginary memories fell apart and disappeared. Y/n didn’t need them anymore. She’d be better in the real world.
Taglist
@kaelyn-lobrutto24 @poguestyle17 @im-a-stranger-thing @lasnaro @thoughtsofthestars @briandaflores19 @lunaposey @allycat449-blog @ifilwtmfc @kitty084 @coloradogirl07 @ponyboys-sunsets @chaoticbisous @p0gue420 @sloaneemily @babygal-babygal @itsagurl @mendesmaybank
If you wanna be added or removed or if I forgot you, tell me and it’ll be modified!
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arcadejohn127-9 · 4 years ago
Note
Just
Just think about Luke seeing Mc as an older sibling figure, and then think about how he'd have to see em die from old age or an illness
H u r t
You know what? I'm going to hurt your feelings right back
You did this, this is your fault. I'm crying so now you gotta cry with me!
I'm making it hurt EXTRA
I'm not done with this angst wagon! I have so much angst stored up in me rn and you're all going to have to deal with it 😂 let us cry together
Warning: death, angst, sad Luke
"(Y/N)! Im back! Your guardian angel has arrived!"
You smiled, turning from the window as you heard the gentle footsteps come further into your little home.
"oh..? I thought the celestial realm called you back."
"I was able to get time off my duties to come see you, I do have a duty to protect you after all."
Luke smiled brightly at you, a bag in hand as he walked into your room. His face faltered for a moment seeing you were out of bed but kept his smile, placing the bag down on the table.
"awww, you're still such a sweet young boy."
You reached out to him, your wrinkled hands shaking slightly. He huffed at your cooing but none the less, bowed down so you could pinch his cheeks. You smiled wider; happy there was still some baby fat on him.
"I'm not a boy! I'm a grown man."
He was pouting childishly; some habits never dying. But sadly, he was right. By now he has finally grown up. He wasn't exactly an adult but he was close. He was no longer the small boy you use to know in the Devildom, he was now a tall gentle man. He reminded you alot of Simeon but definitely didn't go after his sense of fashion.
He was grown. And you've grown....grown to become old and Sickly. He still had such a youthful face despite being thousands years older. It was truly unfair but you would rather he looked as young as he did than look like you. Saggy and wrinkled. Death on your lips, it made them dry. It tasted bland and sour.
"what did you bring me this time? I hope it's a new recipe."
"I actually visited the Devildom before coming here, I made your favourite with Barbatos."
He unpacked the bag, revealing the sweet treat. It was going to be far too sweet for your taste buds now but you couldn't refuse. He frowned slightly, placing his hands on your shoulders.
"you should be in bed, the doctors said you need to rest."
"I'm not doing anything, those doctors shouldn't think of me to be so fragile! I spent years in hell." You grumbled, grinding your drenchers.
You missed the demons; it's been awhile since they've visited. It was unusual....for years outside or in hell you were surrounded by them. Always pestering you and wanting your attention. Endless plans that always ended with Lucifer fixing it. You missed them.....so so much..... you just wished your magic didn't grow so weak.
"yeah.... you're unbeatable so being in bed won't be anything."
He had you there. But it was growing tiresome of just sitting in bed. You were wasting away in it; the doctors weren't sure what was going to take you out first. Old age or illness. All Anyone could hope for that it's peaceful and in your sleep.
Luke helped you back in bed, smiling as he tucked you in. He placed the desserts holder on your lap before whisking himself away to the kitchen. He made you both some tea and picked up cutlery on the way back. You thanked him when he handed you the cup, humming happily at the warmth. The world felt so cold now.
"Have the brothers visited lately? Barbatos seemed.... solemn - did something happen?"
"No, it's been mostly you or Simeon seeing me but I don't blame them, it must be hard to see me - I know Simeon tried to stop you aswell, Saying it'll be too hard on your heart."
"nothing is going to stop me not even Simeon! you're family, and those demons-! They should be seeing you!"
He didn't even realize he stomped his foot, pouting and puffing out his cheeks. No matter how much he wanted to be called a man, he was still young. You hoped you'll get to see him fully mature into a powerful angel he was destined to be. You knew he'd be a great help to the celestial realm and make people just as happy as he's made you.
You always saw yourself as just an older sibling and he seemed to feel the same but now you felt more like a parent. Watching your child grow up and be better than you ever were. He made you so proud.
"ah~ theres the young boy I know, always pouting and complaining about demons, it was so nice to see you freely enjoy yourself the third term, you looked so much happier."
"he can see all sorts, perhaps something bad is going to happen soon but it could always be, he saw a rat in the castle - oh the way he could loose all composure-!"
"if it wasn't due to a recent visit then- why was barbatos so glum? Do you think he's okay?"
You both bursted out laughing, imagining the usually stoic butler frantically smacking the floor with a broom whilst ontop of a counter. Your laughed grew louder and louder until you choked on it; coughing harshly into your shaky palm as your chest tightened.
Luke quickly helped you sit up properly, rubbing your back as your coughing slowly died out. He told you to keep it easy but noticed how quickly your mood soured. He patted your lap and held up the forks; forcing a small smile on his face.
"let's eat, shall we?"
you both dug in, he kept his bites small as it was for you after all. You didn't even realize you teared up; the flavour was the exact same if not better than you remember. Barbatos always knew how to make it perfect for you; even now as your sugar fondness has simmered it still tasted just as good.
He really was amazing....
Luke wiped your stray tears as you stared at the treat, a distant look in your eyes. The angel was starting to panic; no matter his efforts you were becoming unhappy. Was it him? Was it talking about the Devildom? But he knew if he tried to never talk about it you'd just insist on knowing. He didn't want to keep making you upset.
"I'm sorry, just - I've been so nostalgic lately, I really appreciate what you've done, don't be upset with yourself, Luke, just ignore this old human."
"I can talk about the celestial realm, would that make you feel better? Or-or- new Cake ideas-!"
"I'd like that very much, has the celestial realm change much?"
"it's been really busy, I'm actually getting my own apprentice soon! She's been a late bloomer with her wings but she's been amazing with prophecies - I've ranked up actually! I'm almost to my goal....soon- I'm going to be just like Michael and I can help humans across the globe!"
He was beaming, his hands becoming more animated as he talked. You hummed softly to yourself, nodding as your eyes drifted to the wall. His voice soothing you.
"And- and the demon angel partnership has been a huge success! Theres been more pairs ups this year than any other! Things are really improving in the other realms- you know it's all thanks to you, right? You did this."
He waited for your response, but you didn't say anything. You just stared at the wall behind him. Luke's head tilted to the side, dread creeping up his spine.
"(Y/N)-?" He gently shook your hand, trying not to startle you incase you were just zoning out again.
But that's when it hit him. His fingers wrapped around your wrist, there was nothing. No pulse.
"(Y/N)?!"
The young angel screamed as tears flooded down his cheeks, shaking your body. He kept calling out your name but you never responded. He tried everything he could; giving CPR, using his magic - he even consider using the life trees leaves from the celestial realm.
He just - you couldn't be- he wouldn't let you! He's your guardian angel! Yours not supposed to be -! Not yet!!!
NOT YET!!
Your soul spilled out of your chest, he sobbed as it formed into an orb. He hugged it close to his chest as he cried, Begging it to return to your body.
"please.... please-! I'm asking nicely- why won't you go back?! It isn't time! Please!"
No matter how hard he pressed your soul back to your chest it refused to enter your body.
You were gone.
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captainstarkky · 3 years ago
Text
Doom at Your Service - An Appreciation Post
Before starting this lengthy post about how I love this drama, I would just like to commend the writer - Im Meari. She has done a wonderful job with this series. I am sad that Episode 10, which was supposed to be the most meaningful episode - had the lowest ratings in Korean media.  But still the whole drama as a while was a masterpiece. What can I say? It is philosophical and poetic at the same time. It entails too many meanings and it has born too many questions.
For me, the whole series is the journey to acceptance.
And Myeol Mang represents that.
When we are faced with an imminent death or destruction, our first reaction is to get angry, frustrated. That’s a normal emotional response to a bad news for humans. If you are in the right head, you will obviously cry or either space out, unable to talk for a few minutes. That is how we get frustrated, that is how we get angry.
And remember what Myul Mang said?
“No one could love me. Everyone either resent me or wants me. Or some fear me.”
It roughly translates to layterm as: ‘...everyone resents me’ (no one wants to die) “...wants me” (some wants to die)... “or some fear me.” (everyone is afraid to die)
That’s quite familiar, right? Hmmm? Now proceed.
Now there is actually a theory that talks about grief. It is a psychological construct that has been proposed to explain why people react the way they react when posed with an information they can’t accept. It is a theory of Elizabeth Ross. She called it the 5 Stages of Grief.
According to her, whenever people experience a life changing event - either death, divorce, end of relationship - a person experiences grief and to get out of that, one needs to pass through stages. It is personal and does not entail timelines and schedule - which is harder for someone who has a terminal illness.
Now, some of you might ask: Why and how did you correlate both?
Simple. Because Myeol Mang is destruction. And Tak Dongkyung is dying - she has three months to live, to be specific, she has 50 days to live as of the 10th episode. Therefore, we can say that Tak Dongkyung is currently in this five stages that I’m talking about. 
The story is all about Tak Dongkyung accepting his faith: which is her inevitable death.
By the way, a bit of a trivia, Doom at Your Service wasn’t the only drama who discussed this theory. If you are familiar with Last Romance, the story centers with the theory as well. 
There are five stages of grief as per the theory.
Denial
Denial is the stage where a person still cannot accept the fact that he/she is dying. She may be redirecting her attention elsewhere or she’s just ignoring the fact that she is.
Actually before episode 10, Tak DongKyung is still in the spectrum of denial. She doesn’t accept the fact that she’s dying. Not talking about it is the indication. She prepares to die - writes a bucketlist, clear out whatever is holding her in the world, assures her brother, etc. - but in reality, she doesn’t want to die. She is still in the process of denying the fact that she is dying.
She is basically pushing the idea of Myung Mang to the back of her mind.
That’s why, Myul Mang wants her to speak it out. He wants her to accept it with all her heart; because that’s the only way she could fully love him.
That is also the reason why the Deity told her to LOVE HIM ‘because I created them for you, humans.’
You’re not supposed to hate death and destruction. Because in the end of everything, we are doomed to end anyway. So we got to accept it. We got to love it.
Denial is probably the hardest stage to get over to because you know that there is still a lot you can do before you finally accept it out. That’s probably the reason why she stayed there for the longest time.
Anger
Anger is when you finally considers the idea of dying - but rejects it out. No one wants to die. And if we are faced with the fact, it is only natural to get angry. But to whom?
Tak Dongkyung hated Myul Mang. And she actually makes her point on this fact during the early episodes. 
She blames him for everything - for a moment.
She might’ve been thinking: why me? And honestly I don’t blame her. Out of all the 7 billion people, you are chosen to have a hundred days to live. If I was her, I would get angry too.
But a little food for the mind: Tak Dongkyung isn’t really angry at Myul Mang. She just want to blame someone for her misfortunes, for her cancer. I mean, she is still young and has a full life to live, she still has to take care of her brother and marry him off a good woman, then all of a sudden, she got cancer. All those plans ruined just because of a few words. And a cocky guy shows up outside her apartment announcing that he’s doom - etce tera, etce tera. Again, If I was her, I would be angry at Myul Mang myself.
Because anger helps us cope.
Although she’s pass that stage now, she certainly have his fair points when it comes to getting angry at our Doom.
Bargaining
Bargaining is a temporary truce. We want our life back so we tend to do everything to get it back. Even if we have to bargain with a demon or something. Some people goes back to their faith, some people risk all their possessions to their doctors. Bottomline, we want to have a chance. A fighting chance.
The second Tak Dongkyung entered the contract with Myul Mang, she already started bargaining.
She started thinking what could be her wish. Even if she never materialized them, she thought of them. So since we are talking about wishes, here are her possible wishes:
People would forget about her when she die.
Wanting to live
Happy Ending
For Myul Mang not to get hurt when she’s gone.
End of the world.
But isn’t the wish supposed to be directed to self?
No not necessarily. If you’re in the early stages of bargaining, it might be the case. But as you move to the later stages, your perspective changes and your wishes will center more on your loved ones. You will want them not to get sad when you pass; or good health for them; good fortune. And that will eventually lead you to the fourth stage - which is depression. Because you know that your wishes for them could never come true.
Depression
This is the interesting part.
What is depression? It is the feeling of immense hopelessness especially in her case that she is dying. The fact that your short life will not leave a mark and the fact that you won’t be able t see your loved ones again - that sadness - but to the greater length. To the point of you not being able to function properly in the society.
Where did the depression start? It did not even show in the whole series.
Oh no, it did.
This is the reason why this drama is for those people who can understand social cues - therefore, intelligent people. If you haven’t seen it then it’s a good time to rerun the drama on your laptops.
Tak Dongkyung has always been depressed. She wouldn’t wish the end of the world if she is not.
From the death of her parents, from the constant thoughts of being a burden to her aunt, from her missed interviews, from his brother stopping college, from her sexist boss, from her cheating ex, from her cancer. Everything is just depressing. 
But why can’t we see it?
Depression is a psychological issue. She might present herself as a happy person but there’s no guarantee that she feels the same inside.
That makes sense.
And do you know what’s the peak of her depression? The moment she knew about her sickness. 
The same day she met our handsome Myul Mang.
Acceptance
Acceptance is not necessarily a happy or uplifting stage, for it only means that you are finally in the stage where you have finally made terms with your fate. It is the stage where you’re staring to realize that ‘ah, it’s really here.’
And that, my friends, is the goal of the drama.
Tak Dongkyung who’s always scared, sad, and hated her life must accept it. She must be able to accept her fate and herself. She needs to accept Myul Mang. Her death.
And to be honest, she is making a whole lot of improvement compared to when she was on the previous episodes. She was truthfully falling for Myul Mang and it means that she’s slowly accepting her death.
We can hear her say:
“I’m not scared anymore...”
On the teaser after Episode 10. It can only mean one thing, she is a step closer to acceptance.
Tak Dongkyung’s journey to self-acceptance still is not ending. She still have a few more days.
Technically, she’ll die. But I hope she will not and she will end up with Myul Mang in the end.
With that I would like to make a point: This drama is for philosophical people.
If you cannot understand what is happening, then it’s obvious that you will not be watching it. If you want skinship and lots of cute scenes, then you can watch this - Seo In-guk and Park Bo-young serves us just enough - but you still won’t get it.
You’ll think that it’s going nowhere and eventually drop the drama because all you want is fluff and love story.
I hope it’s not like that.
Just like everyone who shares their thought and theories, breakdowns in here, let us try to read between the lines on what it really wants to tell us.
You will enjoy it, I promise.
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the-sympathetic-villain · 4 years ago
Text
A Life for a Life - Chapter 1
AO3 | Next | Masterpost
Prompt by @local-space-case: Prince Roman and his two loyal friends, Patton and Logan, are on the hunt for a dragon. Meanwhile, Dragonshifter!Janus is just trying to find the right herbs to cure a sick/injured Dragonshifter!Virgil. Bonus points for Anxciet and/or Protective Remus.
@local-space-case I didn’t get a chance to include protective Remus in this chapter but the plan is to do a couple chapters whenever I get a chance between the other things I work on XD
Word Count:1189
Chapter Warnings: Arrow wound, Descriptions of wounds, Blood, Angst, Romantic flirting, Hunting People(?) (Let me know if I missed anything!)
---
    “Hold still, Virgil.”
    “I'm trying, Janus.” Virgil groaned, sucking in a sharp breath as the arrow in his side moved in his gut. “In case you hadn't noticed, I got shot."
    Janus rolled his eyes as he pressed his hand into the wound on Virgil’s abdomen to stop the bleeding. Desperately, he pulled at the strips of cloth he'd torn from his jacket, trying to get the wound wrapped even as the arrow stayed wedged in his side. “Perhaps now isn’t the time for your sarcasm, Virgil.”
     “Now is the perfect time for my sarcasm.” Virgil groaned. The slits of his purple eyes dilated as another wave of pain shook his body. “I might not get another chance—”
    Janus bit his lip as Virgil whimpered at the pressure he was putting on the wound. “Don't you dare start thinking like that on me. I didn't come this far with you to have you give up on me now.”
    “Jan—” Virgil looked up at him with a softness in his eyes as his fingers curled around his lover’s wrist. “—Please, they’re coming. You have to go.”
    “I'm not leaving you."
    “You have to, love.” Virgil’s lip curled up at the desperation in Janus' shimmering yellow eyes. “They only saw me. If you stay low to the trees, they won't see you fly away. You can save yours—”
    “No,” Janus flinched as a twig behind him snapped, gritting his teeth as he glanced over his shoulder. “I won't do it.”
     “Janus, you can’t fly with me.” Virgil pleaded quietly as Janus unfolded his wings and yellow scales appeared on his pale skin. His voice grew desperate as he could hear the footfalls of the humans approaching. “I'll weigh you down. You won’t make it far enough—”
    The air was suddenly sucked from Virgil’s lungs as Janus leapt into the sky. His amber wings unfolded to their full length as he cleared the tops of the trees and they glided gently down the mountainside.
    “I'll save you, Virgil,” Janus curled his lover close, protecting his frail humanoid form from the biting wind as he struggled to stay in the air. “Or I'll die trying.”
---
    “That was an excellent shot, my grace.” Logan smiled, bowing respectfully as he offered to carry his prince's quiver and bow. “Perfectly on target at least 200 paces. I daresay your practice is paying off.”
    “What practice—” Patton grunted as Logan elbowed him in the chest. He looked  up just in time to see the shooting him a dirty look.
    “The prince has worked hard in his training to have come this far.” Logan chastised him lightly. “He deserves recognition for his efforts.”
    Patton rolled his eyes and dropped his gaze to the ground, muttering under his breath. “I'm just not convinced swapping spit with you at the archery range is what improved the prince's aim is all.”
    Logan's mouth hung agape as heat rushed to his cheeks and he glanced nervously at the prince. “Patton. Frankly, I am surprised at your disrespect—”
    “Relax, Lo. Your brother is free to speak as he pleases when it is just the three of us,” Roman chuckled as he moved forward, careful not to slip as he navigated the loose earth of the steep mountainside. “though admittedly, I do believe he is wrong on this particular subject.”
    Patton and Logan shared a curious look before Logan turned back to him. “In what manner do you mean, my grace?”
     Roman glanced back at him, offering his courtier a hand as he stepped down the steep rocks. “Contrary to your brother’s belief, I think trying to impress you is exactly what improved my aim.”
    Logan could hear Patton’s groan as his blush deepened. Roman’s grip tightened on his hand as the prince pulled him forward, catching his waist as he smiled nervously up at the prince.
     “Now, how about we slay this beast so we can make our pairing official?”
    Roman’s hushed voice sent shivers down Logan's spine as he melted into the prince’s chest with a whisper. “I'd like that very much.”
    “I'm still not sure why this is necessary.” Patton grumbled, coming up behind them as they reluctantly separated.
    Logan smiled as Roman released him. The prince’s hand lingered in his for a moment before he released his grip and continued down the hill. Logan watched him fondly before turning back to Patton as they followed in the prince’s tracks. “It is customary for a prince to prove his worth to the kingdom before asking for the king's blessing on a marriage proposal.”
    “—and bringing home this beast's head on a spike is a feat worthy of the favor I need to win from him.” Roman muttered, kneeling on the ground ahead of them.
     “No, I understand that.” Patton rolled his eyes at Logan. “I just don't understand why I have to be here.”
     Logan smirked as Patton grumbled. “Because dear brother, I volunteered your name above all the other attendants to accompany our dear prince on his important mission. You should be honored.”
    Patton returned Logan’s smirk with a dead-panned glare. “You only picked me because you knew I wouldn't tell on you both for making googly eyes at each other the entire time.”
     “That is indeed true as well.” Logan smiled, catching up to Roman as he rose up from where he knelt on the ground.
     “The beast has lost a fair amount of blood." Roman whispered, holding his hand out to show Logan the blood he'd caught sight of on the ground. Quietly, he cleaned the glittering, red substance off his fingertips as he glanced at the wall of trees ahead of them. “It should be easy enough to track the beast and with any luck it will be weak when we catch up.”
    “Can we?” Patton asked cautiously, sick of the sight of the creature’s blood as he glanced up at Roman. “Catch it, I mean. Wouldn’t it have just flown really far away?”
    “The injury it sustained was significant, Patton. The creature will not be able to make it far without requiring rest.” Logan crossed his arms solemnly as he looked at the woods ahead of them. “Fortunately for us, humans are notorious persistence predators and that gives us the advantage in this case.”
    “In English please, professor.” Roman teased, smiling as his courtier smirked back at him.
     “Human's greatest asset is neither our strength nor our speed. It is simply our will to keep moving. The creature can run, but it will simply continue to waste its own energy until we inevitably catch up.” Logan stated plainly, glancing at the prince. “Though I do encourage you to still remain alert. If the beast is still alive, its wounds may make it desperate enough to still prove dangerous.”
    The trio flinched as a sudden gust of air rushed past them and a set of wings could be heard above them disappearing into the distance. Logan frowned as he turned to meet the prince’s serious gaze.
    “Noted.” Roman nodded at Logan before ducking into the trees as his friends followed him. “Then, I suppose the chase begins.”
---
General Taglist:
@somehow-i-got-an-account @justanotherhumanstuff @im-an-anxious-wreck
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scapegrace74-blog · 4 years ago
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Ginger Snap, Chapter 2
A/N I am breaking probably the only rule I gave myself when I started writing fanfic, which was Don’t Ever Post a WIP.  But lord knows I’m not immune to peer pressure and the narcotic that is reader feedback, so here it is, the second chapter of what is now an open-ended modern AU story about Jamie the Chef and Claire the Kitchen Disaster.  Still a first person Claire POV, so I apologize in advance for any stray pronouns.
For the first chapter, I recommend reading it on Ao3, since I’ve made some minor edits since I first posted it on Tumblr.  See above re. not planning on posting a WIP.
Oh, and funny story.  When I decided to check the location of the real Ginger Snap catering company in Edinburgh, it was squished between “FrazersOnline” and “McKenzie Flooring”.  If that’s not kismet, I don’t know what is.  The location I describe below, however, is based on a catering venue here in Ottawa called Urban Element, where I’ve attended a few team-building events.  I have yet to set anything on fire, though.
I checked my phone for the third time, confirming I wasn’t lost.  
Frank and I moved to Edinburgh over the summer, just in time for him to start his position as Associate Professor of History at the University of Edinburgh. Despite our years spent in America, neither of us cared overmuch for driving, so we chose a flat (or rather, Frank chose a flat and I concurred) not far from campus.  Therefore, this was the first time I’d ventured as far afield as Leith, a maritime enclave just to the north of the capital that couldn’t seem to decide if it wanted to be grittily working class or artistically hip. 
When I finally reached the address, I had to smile.  No main street pretensions or non-descript commercial frontage for Ginger Snap Catering.  Before me stood a two-story red brick fire station, still emblazoned with the crest of the Scottish Fire and Rescue Services.  The two massive truck bays were now enclosed by see-through doors that could be drawn back on a sunny day.  Through these a warm yellow light could be seen, spilling onto the grey, damp pavement.
A petite woman with dark hair manned the small reception area, a red-haired toddler clinging to her like a marsupial.  She held a phone to one ear while simultaneously pacing the polished concrete floor.  I stood as unobtrusively as possible near the door, but in such an open space it was impossible not to overhear her side of the conversation.
“... they willna take ‘im back until ‘is fever goes down...  aye, an hour ago when I picked him up but it hasn’t... nay, i dinna think it’s... tis jus’ terrible timing with two weddings t’morrow... Could ye?  Och, I owe ye Mrs. Fitz, a million times o’er... Anytime, we’ll be here.  Alright, soon.”
The speaker turned to me, the harried look of a working mother sharpening her already honed features.
“I apologize fer keeping ye waiting.  What can I do fer ye t’day?”
Before I could respond, the young boy, probably no older than two, began to fuss, rubbing his flushed cheek against his mother’s shoulder.
“Och, mo ghille, Mam kens ye’re poorly.  Mrs. Fitz is coming as fast as she may.”
Unable to quell my instinct to diagnose and then cure, I spoke up.  
“I couldn’t help overhearing your conversation.  Based on his age and the way he’s holding his head, it may be an ear infection.”  At the woman’s penetrating look, I hastened to explain: “I’m a doctor.  Would you mind if I took a closer look?”
Permission granted, I carefully palpated the boy under the jaw and peered as best I could without an otoscope into the offending ear canal.  Confident in my diagnosis, I recommended treatment with a warm compress, an over-the-counter analgesic ear drop, and children’s paracetamol to control his fever.  If, after twenty-four hours the symptoms had not improved, they could consider seeing his pediatrician for antibiotics, but these were only truly necessary for a persistent infection.
“Och, ye ‘ave no idea what a relief it is tae hear ye say so, lass.  He’s my first bairn, ye ken, an’ I can ne’er tell if I’m over-reacting or being negligent.   Can ye say thank ye tae the nice doctor, Wee Jamie?”
My stomach jumped.  “Wee Jamie?  Is he related by chance to Jamie Fraser?”
“Aye, tis his nephew.  I’m Jamie’s sister, Jenny.  Ye ken my brother, then?”
The pieces fell into place, and my insides settled.
“We’ve spoken before,” I explained.  “I’m Claire Beauchamp.  You and your brother helped me with a dinner party emergency last Tuesday.  I came to return your market bags, and to thank you again for coming to my aid during my hour of need.”
Jenny and I spoke for another ten minutes, sharing the superficial narratives of two strangers brought together by circumstance.  She was warm and thistly by turns, and I felt a longing for the honesty of female friendship that I’d given up when we left Boston.  Eventually a matronly woman arrived to collect Wee Jamie.  I carefully wrote down the exact names and dosages of my prescribed remedy.
After Mrs. Fitz and Wee Jamie had left, it occurred to me that Jenny needed to get back to work.  I’d accomplished what I’d set out to do, even if I hadn’t thanked Jamie himself.   As I began to make my goodbyes, however, Jenny interjected. “If ye’re no’ in a rush, why dinna ye join our afternoon cooking class?  My brother will be demonstrating how tae make quiche.  Tis the least we can do, after ye helped Wee Jamie.”
Which was how I found myself standing behind one of six cooking stations arranged across the fire station’s main area, a bright red apron covering my black slacks and saffron turtleneck.  My impetuous curls were slowly breaking ranks from where I’d slicked them into a bun that morning.  I worried I looked like a human Pez dispenser.
I glanced at the workstation immediately to my left.  A slight woman who I guessed to be roughly my own age was engrossed in her phone, a cheeky smirk playing on her berried lips.  Her strawberry blond hair was swept into an effortless chignon that made me twitch with envy.  She looked up from her screen and caught me looking her way.
“Geillis Duncan,” she said, offering a well-manicured hand.
“Claire Beauchamp.  Pleased to meet you.”
“Is it yer first time taking a class, Claire?”  At my nod, she leaned in and whispered conspiratorially: “Ye’re in for a treat.”
Before I could enquire what she meant, a murmur amongst the other students (all women, save one) was accompanied by the heavy tread of work boots on polished concrete and a familiar Scottish burr.
“Good afternoon, everyone.  Thank ye fer joining me on this dreich Scottish day.  I ken a few of ye are new, so let’s start with a brief overview of yer stations and some basic safety reminders, before we tackle the quiche.”
Today Jamie was wearing a pair of olive pants that tapered down his endless legs and a technical shirt that clung valiantly to his upper body.  He looked like he’d just stepped off the nearest rock climbing pitch.  I wondered if he owned anything that answered to the name of a professional wardrobe, but I couldn’t deny that he looked impressive, in an athleisure sort of way.
“See what I mean?” Geillis hissed at me as Jamie made his way to the front of the hall, speaking now about optimal burner temperatures.  “That man is a dozen kinds of yes.”
I concentrated on each step of the ostensibly simple recipe.  Pie crust had been the previous week’s assignment, so I had only to blind bake the prepared dough already at my workstation.  Once I had the crust centered exactly in the pie pan, pierced with a fork in orderly rows and placed in the oven, I rushed to catch up with the others.  I’d missed Jamie’s instructions regarding pan frying the bacon, so I increased the flame, thinking I could make up a little time.  The fatty meat crackled pleasingly as I set it in the lightly greased pan.  I was inordinately proud of myself.
Things went very badly, very fast.  First, my eyes wouldn’t stop watering as I meticulously peeled then dissected the onion into near-transparent crescents. Tears obscured my vision and I tried to wipe them away without contaminating my hands.  To my left I could make out Geillis skillfully cracking eggs into a glass bowl, her pie crust already elegantly filled with crispy morsels of bacon and caramelized onion bits.  
A vague sense of having forgotten something important tickled my mind.  My pie crust!  Grabbing a silicone glove (I wasn’t making that mistake twice) I rushed to the wall oven and extracted the pan.  Giddy with relief, I saw the dough was only a little dark around the edges.  
Before I could return victorious to my station, Jamie uttered a Scottish noise of alarm from his vantage at the front of the class.   We both rushed across the room to where my rashers of bacon now resembled blackened shoe laces obscured by a heavy veil of smoke.  With practiced ease, Jamie lifted the entire skillet into the adjacent sink and turned on the cold water.  A cloud of steam enveloped his head, highlighting his auburn curls.  I bit my lip as he looked my way in amusement.
“I hope ye werena planning on serving quiche to yer faculty guests t’night, Ms. Beauchamp?”
I stood meekly next to Geillis for the remainder of the class, no longer trusted around open flame without adult supervision.   She graciously allowed me to extract her quiche when it was done baking.  It looked like a magazine cover.  Meanwhile, my workstation looked like the scene of an industrial accident.
While we were waiting for her quiche to cook, Geillis and I got to know each other a little better.  She was a Highland lass from up near Inverness.  Married to a wealthy older man, her life sounded like an endless quest for diversion.  Despite this, or because of it, she had a sharp-witted frankness that I appreciated.  She was also a hard-core gossip.
“Wee besom,” she remarked with a nod towards a blond girl who was currently monopolizing Jamie’s attention with endless questions punctuated by manufactured giggles and flicks of her pin-straight hair.  “Tha’s Laoghaire Mackenzie of the Mackenzie brewing dynasty.  They’ve a live-in cook, so there’s only one reason she attends these classes, and it isna for the quiche.”
I watched Jamie laugh over something the girl said, mineral eyes alight and his perfect white teeth on display.  I suppose I couldn’t blame her.  I wasn’t here for the quiche either.
The interminable ninety minute lesson finally ended.  I thanked Geillis profusely and we exchanged numbers before she rushed off for her reiki treatment.  Gathering my trench coat and purse, I tried to slink away without calling any further attention to myself.
“Ms. Beauchamp!”
I cursed under my breath, then turned to face him.
“Please, call me Claire.  After I nearly burned down your place of business, we should probably be on a first name basis.”
Jamie chuckled. It sounded more natural and lived-in than his earlier response to Laoghaire, but I was likely fooling myself.
“Och, wha’s a cooking demonstration wi’out a wee bit of drama.  Will ye be joining us next week?  We’ll be making ceviche, sae I willna need tae put the fire brigade on stand-by.”
“Bastard,” I replied to his cheeky smirk.  “Alas, I don’t think I’m cut out to be a cook.  It appears to be the one science I can’t master.”
“Cooking isna a science, Claire,” he explained with sincere intensity.  “Tis an art.  Perhaps tha’s the root of yer struggle.”
“Perhaps it is.  But in that case, I may as well give up now.  I haven’t an artistic bone in my body.”
His languorous perusal of said body lit a different kind of flame in my belly.  Geillis was right; he really was a dozen kinds of yes.
“I canna say as I agree.  Come back any time if ye’d like tae try again.”
I blushed, thoroughly discomfited by his blatant flirting.  He knew about Frank.  He’d fled from him onto my fire escape, for Christ’s sake!  Maybe when you looked like James Fraser, every interaction with a woman was merely a chance to hone your craft.  Or maybe he was truly ignorant of his effect.
“I’ll take that under advisement.  Thank you again, Jamie.”
“Until the next time, Arsonist.”
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khaleesiofalicante · 3 years ago
Note
I really said fuck classes who needs notes anyway (i do I have 5 tests in the next two weeks)
before I post my live blog here, I feel like people really underestimate how bad rumors are and how much they fuck with your mental health. they don't lose sleep over them, they don't think twice. but these things are harmful as fuck. they leave wounds that take so long to recover from because you keep on thinking about these lies who to others are "just words"
I've been there. it's not fun. I wish I had the courage back then to stand up to those rumors which I have now. these things never leave you. others might move on but the healing process is a journey that is long and hard. I wish more people understood just what effect their words can have.
Yeah, he knew a thing or two about family members going overboard with glitter.
IT'S RAFAEL CENTRIC GHSYGUJDUYDFUIKFDUIDFIUDF
TAVVY
TAVVY
TAVVY
DCSUIHDCSUIDUYUDICUIVSDUIHFVSUILFBUHKIFSV
I feel like I keyboard smash A LOT
“You will never drink even if you are not riding the bike,” Dad had pointed out – all Consul Voice and threatening glares. “The legal age for drinking in New York is 21.”
“But it’s 15 in Idris!”
“Well unfortunately for you, we are in Exile,” dad had grinned.
DAD ALEC UHIKSFDUIHKSGUIKSDVUIHKDVUHIKSVD
Max had a habit of ‘borrowing’ things and selling them on eBay. In his brother’s defense, Bapak had so many clothes that he never noticed when things disappeared. But Rafael did since he had a habit of wearing his father’s clothes.
The warlock – not the shadowhunter.
He wouldn’t be caught dead in one of those sweaters.
Now that Rafael was 18, he was almost as tall as his father.
The shadowhunter – not the warlock.
I AM SCREAMING
I love how he's clarifying which one he's talking about
“Do you know I used to have a crush on Lily Chen?” Tavvy blushed. “But then I found out she made out with Helen once and it kinda got weird.”
Ah yes. I remember. Does Rafael know that Alec also walked in on them?
ARCHITECT TAVVY
SDHDVUHDFSV,YDSFVUYVSFFUSVFUVFS
SHADOWUNTERS ATTENDING MUNDANE COLLEGES
“Dude, college kids don’t give a shit,” Tavvy laughed. “You could walk into a lecture covered in runes, holding a seraph blade and they wouldn’t give you a second look.”
“Cause they are chill?”
“Yes. But mostly cause they are dead inside,” Tavvy chuckled.
Surprisingly that's exactly what my grade 6 prefect told me (DAMN WHY AM I ALWAYS REMEMBERING GRADE 6 IT'S BEEN YEARS. that was a horrible year *shudders*)
ANJALI IS A CENTURION
LMAO THIS IS WHAT RAFAEL MEANT WHEN HE SAID HE WOULDNT WANT TO GO TO THE SCHOLOMANCE FOR PERSONAL REASONS
I still ship them.
“The meeting is going to go perfe-What is SHE doing here?”
Well, that was a quick change-
Unlike Aunt Maia, Lily did not like to be called Aunt Lily. So, Rafael respected her wishes. Max of course continued to call her Aunt Lily and sometimes Abeula Lily since his brother had a pathological condition of pissing people off.
THAT'S SO MAX OMG JHSXUHSCUHISDHUHUKIDVS
great now I miss Raphael
I HAVE A CLASS IN 7 MINUTES STOP MAKING ME CRY
that is so thoughtful of him though...
tears.
“There are no photos of Raphael,” Lily sighed.
“Because he is a vampire?” Tavvy asked sympathetically.
“Because he is Raphael,” she grinned. “Vampires can most certainly take photos. You should follow me on Instagram. My handle is simp_for_carstairs.”
Of course, it is. No one is surprised.
Tavvy picked one up, took a large bite and it threw it back immediately. “Holy shit, that’s spicy!”
“White,” Lily and Anjali snorted at the same time.
white people and their bland foods smh
“She is not wrong,” Lily nodded seriously. “I’m a Jem Carstairs fan first and a vampire second.”
As she should be
UHDSUHDFSUHFDH ANJALI AND RAFAEL COMPETING ABOUT WHO'S LILY'S FAVORITE
He observed Anjali’s long dark hair spilled over her shoulders as her eyes stayed on Lily – sharp, protective and beautiful.
"Beautiful"
I AM NOT LETTING THIS GO
I'm THE DAMN CAPTAIN OF THIS SHIP
FUCKING RUMORS
I'm GONNA KILL SOMEONE
“Shadowhunters are awful gossips,” Anjali said. “Let’s not waste our time with this nonsense.”
There was something in her voice. Something he couldn’t put his finger on.
No, wait I want to know what was in her voice.
But no. It couldn’t be. They weren’t dating.
YET
Rafael was sure there was something more than friendship between them. But David was polite to a fault and Max was an oblivious little shit. So, obviously nothing had happened yet.
OH MY GOD THESE TWO
But this was different. He would tolerate rumours about himself. But he would not tolerate rumours about his family.
I and Rafael will beat up the people who spread these rumors together :D
“She once told me she likes sipping tea more than drinking blood.
I-
same.
NOT THAT I DRINK BLOOD-
RAFAEL LMAO NO
"I hate her she's so annoying"
continues to daydream about her and how tall she'd be without those boots, lies to tavvy about her dating someone
Why did he do that? What was the purpose? Did he not want other people to date just because he wasn’t dating anyone?
And he calls Max oblivious.
oh class started
shit
IDC IDC I'LL STILL BE READING
LEXI AND SELENA ARE AT THE ACADEMY
JACE HYPER FIXATING ON THINGS BECAUSE HE'S BORED IS SUCH A MOOD
“David and I added rosemary to this one,” Uncle Jace wiped his hands on his apron. “It has definitely improved the taste, hasn’t it?”
“Save me,” David mouthed from behind the man.
LMAO POOR DAVID
“Empty nest syndrome,” Rafael chuckled. “I’m glad neither Max nor I had to leave home. My fathers are much worse.”
He remembered his first sleepover at the institute. His parents had waited for “an excruciating hour” before crashing the institute and joining the sleepover themselves.
yup, that's them.
“David,” Rafael grinned. “Are you afraid of my father?”
“What? No! He is the just a regular person…who can throw me in the silent city any time he wants,” David rambled and then shook his head. “Where is Max?”
He tried to sound nonchalant. But Rafael noted the way the other boy’s eyes fluttered every time he said Max’s name.
Just the way a crooked smile appeared on his brother’s lips every time someone said David’s name.
Idiots
ok, there is so much to unpack here.
DAVID HAS A VALID REASON OK??
These two are such IDIOTS HUSDUHISCUIDSVCUIHVSDUHI
“Max said Bapak is biased, and that he needs an unbiased tutor. Uncle Ragnor volunteered,” Rafael chuckled. “God bless the poor man.”
“Max isn’t that bad,” David replied.
“Looks like you’re biased too, David,” Rafael winked and picked up a spare bow from the training room.
of course, he is.
G-FORCE KJHSDCUISDYUKDFSUYKDSVYUSFD
oh shit
oh shit
WHO DID WHAT THIS TIME
what's the rumor and who do I need to kill
He didn’t know her well. But she knew a lot about him. Just as she knew a lot about the twins. She was one of those people who was oddly invested in his life just because Rafael happened to the Consul’s son.
what is her problem?
what the fuck
I need a minute
I need a minute to digest that
I'm so glad I closed my camera in class
what the actual fuck did she just say
tell me I'm hallucinating
times like these I wish I was Jared 19
no, because I'm actually speechless right now
Paige and Irene need therapy
OH SHE WENT THERE
“Paige, that’s enough!” the Dean snapped at her. “How dare you talk to him that way? You talk about warlock corruption but where all of you when Valentine exploited Jace and Clary? Where was this moral obligation when Valentine lied to his children and played with their feelings as if they were nothing but toys to be controlled and manipulated? I’m sick of shadowhunters victim blaming children instead of holding people like Valentine accountable.”
THANK YOU
SAY IT LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK SIMON
I feel like we all focus so much on the "incest" and hate on clace we forget that this part of the story was literally an abuser seeing that the victim was recovering and took the only thing which made him happy from him
I can't believe this
“Children have been suffering for a long time now, Paige,” Uncle Jace said now, his fists balled at his sides. “Where were you when Alec proposed the child protection bill? We didn’t see any of you supporting it.”
“We had other priorities,” the older woman replied. “People were dying! It was not the right time for a new law. We could have always signed that bill later. There was no rush!”
OTHER PRIORITIES MY ASS BITCH FUCK YOU
hey just realizing Rafael is the token straight
I'M SORRY IM TRYING TO DISTRACT ME
“The Cohort who made children kill themselves to prove a point?” Uncle Simon asked dryly. “That Cohort?”
I am so close to either crying or killing someone or both.
This was Max’s spot since it had the best Wi-Fi coverage.
yeah trust me I spend all the time in the guest room because it has the best wifi coverage or the study.
MAX IS SMOKING TOO
YOU FUCKING IDIOTS
oh wait
oh they might be alec's
yeah
For the next thirty minutes, Max paced around the room, threatening to portal all the shadowhunters to hell.
Then he went on about a plan to attack the cohort and portal them all to hell too.
He kept talking about portalling people to hell.
MAX YES LET'S DO IT!!!!
But here is the thing about people, they don’t get to you. You get to them.
They simply say something and leave. They probably don’t even mean the things they say or lose sleep over it. But it wasn’t the same for you. You obsess over it. You stay awake at night and let it consume your dreams.
YES! To others, it's just words. meaningless. to you, the effect can be so so deep. it's not easy to always brush them off.
NO MAGNUS
THAT'S IT
MAX AND I ARE PORTALLING PEOPLE TO HELL
WE'RE DOING IT
why do we hurt others?
my teacher: ill take a test on this chapter. all 20 units
me: softly crying because people are little shits and they hurt others.
“Fuck everyone else,” dad hissed. “They’ve hurt our family enough.”
EXACTLY. LEAVE THEM ALONE.
“I am simply being honest with you,” Dad interrupted. “I could never be okay when you are away from me. But I will manage. Max is going to raise hell though. So, that’s going to be fun.”
AS HE SHOULD
Neither Rafael nor Max would never admit it out loud, but on the day of that sleepover, on the day their parents had crashed the institute bcause they had missed the kids too much…Rafael and Max had been only a moment away from calling their parents to come pick them up.
He's right though.
it'll take time. lots of it maybe.
BUT THE ACTUAL AUDACITY.
It fucked with his mind so much.
Rafael...ALRIGHT WHERE ARE MY FLAMETHROWERS
“DAD! BAPA! WAKE UP! RAFE IS TRYING TO RUN AWAY!”
MAX REMINDS ME SO MUCH OF MY LITTLE BROTHER
He had forgotten about the bloody paperwork. Shadowhunters on their travel year had to notify the Clave and get their paperwork in order.
Well, it shouldn’t be a problem since the Clave was standing across the hall.
EXACTLY
Because it was killing him. It was killing him not to be lying on the couch, his head resting on his Bapak’s lap just like every other Saturday morning.
It was killing him not to touch, not to love, not to care.
GET MY FLAMETHROWERS AND CANNIBAL GOLDFISHES WE HAVE SOME WORK TO DO
(goddamn every class I have taken so far the teacher has told us there is a test coming up it's 9 am in the morning.)
His brother growled at that like the little feral animal that he was.
that's adorable actually.
“Fine,” Max rolled his eyes. “Does this mean I can also travel? There is a Twenty One Pilots concert in Sydney and-”
“Nice try,” Dad said. “But no. You are staying here.”
“Excuse me, but what about my healing?” Max demanded. “I’ve been traumatised by this thing.”
“You can go to therapy,” Rafael winked at this brother.
Therapy is boring but useful so-
He needed to survive this. So, he decided to go back to the place he had learned how to survive in the first place.
He needed to go back home.
UGLY CRYING WHILE TAYLOR SWIFT PLAYS IN THE BACKGROUND AND MY HISTORY CLASS IN 2 MINUTES
I'm so proud of him for this...
I still say we kill these people.
JOAQUIN AND JULIETTE
UHISDCUIHFSDUGUIDFVDSDVFJHGDFVHUKDVHUKVF
Camilla Alvarez.
well well.
OH THEY KISSED
“Right,” Rafael had said. “Gap year. Besides, I do talk them. My brother threatened to paint my room in hot pink if I don’t text him every day.”
hands max a pint of paint HAVE AT IT
Max: Also – New Rumour. Dalliance between Lily and Tavvy.
Rafe: OMFG WHAT
Max: They are running with it and freaking old n*philim out.
AS THEY SHOULD UFUHIFUIHFUIHKFU
THE CENSORED N*PHILIM I'M SCREAMING
“He is hot.”
He laughed out loud. “Yeah. I hear that a lot.”
“Your dad looks kinda scary,” she pointed out.
Rafael laughed again. “Yeah. I kinda hear that a lot too.”
I'm liking this ship...
I'M STILL LOYAL TO THE RAFAEL AND ANJALI SHIP
but I'm happy for him. I'm glad he's getting the space he needs
Dad: Jst found legal age fr drnkng in Buenos Aires is 18.
Rafe: ????
Dad: I hv friends thr.
Rafe: ???
Dad: Thy r watchn u.
Rafe: Creepy but okay.
HJSDCGUIHJGSDCYUICVXUHVUHKDV
THE BOY'S DRINKING Y'ALL
Do it
MILA IS GOING TO NY!!
I like her. she's nice.
He was leaving soon. He didn’t see the point in lying to her. “I ran away from home. Kind of.”
“Why?”
“I hurt someone I love,” Rafael confessed. “The person I love most in the world.”
honey, it wasn't your fault... hugs
Shit. Why wasn’t Bapak going to the accords signing? He had been there for every single one since the very first time.
no no no no is something wrong?? I'm worried.
“You look taller,” Rafael told his brother who hadn’t grown an inch.
LMAO
Max and I are vertically challenged.
“Rafe, go to talk to him. Or I will tell everyone you’ve been smoking in the balcony!”
So, he was going to pin this on him, huh? This little shit.
well-
“You’ve progressed from freaking to fucking,” he pointed out.
“That’s not the fucking point, Rafael!” Max said in exasperation.
“You did it again,” Rafe pinched Max’s cheek. “My little brother is all grown up now. Linguistically I mean.”
“Dick."
I CAN'T WITH THESE TWO
When he had gone back to Buenos Aires, the place was completely different - even the shadow market.
There were no abandoned children in the streets. There were no racist and ignorant leaders exploiting innocent downworlders.
There was only growth.
His father had done that. Alec Lightwood had helped Joaquin and his people create a new world in Buenos Aires.
This shows how much people can flourish under good leadership if they really try.
YOU KNOW I'M SUPPOSED TO BE TAKING THESE NOTES DOWN, NOT CRYING OVER THIS.
“I will protect our family. I will protect our friends. I will protect those who ask for my protection. But I will not tolerate their hate. I will not turn my head and pretend it doesn’t hurt. Because it does hurt and that’s not okay.”
Rafael smiled at that. “Yeah. Yeah, that’s not okay.”
“The accords is important. But so am I. There is no point in signing a treaty that is meant to value equality if I have to sign it while being surrounded by those who refuse to respect me or my identity. I simply cannot do it, Rafael. I hope you understand.”
I'm sobbing like YES YOU DONT OWE THEM SHIT. THESE UNGRATEFUL BITCHES.
“It’s taken me a while to realize this. But I don’t owe the nephilim anything,” Bapak said firmly. “It’s about time they realize that too.”
YES EXACTLY
“I’ve known shadowhunters for a long time, Rafael. Good ones. Bad ones. All kinds of them – and shadowhunters have always defined themselves by their love. Not by your weapons. Not by your runes. Not by your last names. Not by your laws. Shadowhunters have always defined themselves by love. So, don’t ever let them take that away from you.”
I want this on a T-shirt. These damn shadowhunters and their love.
“Like the Accords Hall kiss?” Rafael grinned.
“It’s the stupidest thing your father had ever done – which is really saying something,” his father laughed. “But it’s also the bravest thing I’ve ever seen him do. And that’s how I knew.”
affectionate sigh that's alec.
“Good. Max is sitting in the porch and singing All by Myself,” Tessa chuckled and closed the door. “Just thought you should know!!”
Rafael giggled at that. “He must have given you hell.”
“Nothing I couldn’t handle,” Bapak shrugged, and Rafael raised an eyebrow. “Fine. I might have promised to buy him a car when he turns 18.”
“You’re hoping he would stop aging by then, aren’t you?” Rafael chuckled.
Max is so dramatic I aspire to be like him.
Blue banners when the lost return, the shadowhunter rhythm said.
Rafael had returned home – and he was no longer lost.
I'm ok I say as I cry during my history class
I'm so proud of him.
“Well, that needs to be rectified immediately,” Dad said in the Consul Voice and literally yelled. “I am about to kiss my son – on both cheeks! You better gossip about this too!”
“Oh my god, stop!” Rafael giggled and tried to escape.
“YAS!” he heard Uncle Jace yelled from somewhere. “GIVE US A FOREHEAD KISS TOO!”
THEY ARE SO DRAMATIC I LOVE THESE IDIOTS SO MUCH.
THEM ADDING TO THE ACCORDS AS THEY SHOULD OMG
“The hell is hate speech?” someone asked.
Do you not have a dictionary you uncultured swine
“There is a very clear difference between free speech and hate speech,” Cristina Rosales pointed out. “The fact that you don’t seem to know that is all the more reason for us to include this provision.”
YES CRISTINA
“By the angel,” an old man gasped. “There is no need to be so emotional. The younger generation can be such snowflakes.”
What if I just strangles him
“Discriminatory language?” a woman demanded. “What does that even mean?”
“Calling vampires bloodsuckers,” Lily Chen answered.
“Calling warlocks demon spawns,” Ragnor Fell pointed out.
“Calling werewolves fleabags,” Maia Roberts declared.
“Calling faeries half-breeds,” Kieran Kingson all but yelled.
The fact that they have had to deal with this shit for YEARS. (also why Kingson? isn't Kieran the king?)
THE QUEEN HERSELF IS HERE Y'ALL
“Which one of you shitheads said hate speech is harmless?” Anjali demanded, her voice booming over everyone and everything else.
YES ANJALI
Anjali had a grin of her own. “While that might true, Paige, there is most certainly a law on child protection. You didn’t just hurt Magnus Bane. You also hurt his son. Section 7 of the Child Protection Bill states that any person who physically or emotionally injures a child through ill-treatment, neglect, abandonment or abuse is guilty of breaking the covenant.”
“Damn straight!” someone yelled from the crowd – it sounded suspiciously like Kit.
CALL THESE BITCHES OUT YES
“Rafael is not a child!” someone yelled again. A lot of them this time. “It’s still not illegal. The law doesn’t say so!”
“By the angel, for someone who is obsessed with the law you people seem to know nothing about it,” Anjali said in exasperation. “The child protection law defines a child as a person under 18 years OR younger. The incident happened when he was still 18. It’s illegal.”
YES ANJALI FUCK THESE PEOPLE
“I’m the Inquisitor’s daughter,” she said. “Next time, think twice before you quote the law at me.”
SHOW THEM, QUEEN
How did she know his birthday????
ahem
“So, if you do hurt him emotionally, you can still be implicated. You will face charges and you can possibly be stripped of your runes,” Anjali pointed out seriously. “Now I ask you again. Does anyone else have to say anything about him?”
There was absolute silence then.
“Didn’t fucking think so,” Anjali spat. “I literally had to mention the stripping of your marks for you to respect another person’s basic rights. If you give half the value you place on your precious runes to other people, we wouldn’t be in exile right now.”
The Cohort looked terrified – of Anjali or their future in the Clave, Rafael didn’t know.
“People are dying,” Anjali said, her voice heavy now. “Our people are fucking dying, and you seem to be more bothered with who is sleeping with whom. Shame on you. Shame on all of you!”
She turned to the Council. The Inquisitor looked like he was going to cry from pride. Rafael’s dad looked half terrified but mostly impressed. Lily was blowing kisses at Anjali. The other downworld leaders looked quite pleased.
Shadowhunters are so fucking bigoted and narrow-minded. I'm seething right now.
also, alec looking scared-
“THAT’S THE BEST SHIT I HAVE EVER SEEN IN MY ENTIRE LIFE!” Emma Carstairs yelled.
“Goddamn, I wish Magnus was here to see this,” Uncle Jace grinned. “That was satisfying as hell.”
“No worries, I recorded the whole thing!” Kit put up his hand.
YES YES AND YES
“Fuck the Cohort,” Rafael giggled.
“Actually, I would prefer you use the word screw,” his father pointed out. “Screw the Cohort!”
“Oh my god, Dad!” Rafael rolled his eyes. “I am allowed to swear once in a while.”
“No, you are not,” Dad said firmly – this man was so not ready to meet Max’s new persona. “As your friend pointed out, you are still a child.”
Alec seeing Max curse left and right: 👁️👄👁️
"She hates me!"
“Rafael, she stood up for you in front of the entire Clave. She fought the Cohort. It was incredibly brave. I wish she had spoken to me before without causing all the chaos. So, it was a little stupid of course. But still brave.”
Stupid but brave.
YESYESYESYES IT'S HAPPENING!!!
ANJALI WHO HURT YOU
WHO DARED TO
Names. Give me names NOW
Jaime no...please no not Jaime.
please please, please
ok, I searched it up. And he can get treatment. He can live. It doesn't have to be serious. please, Jaime...
“If you ever tell anyone you saw me crying, I will drag you to Idris and drown you in Lake Lyn.”
This is such an Anjali thing to say.
OOO MILLA (Mila?) MESSAGED!!! Is there gonna be some sort of love triangle here??
me who despises love triangles (aside from TID of course): ...
BUT SINCE IT'S YOU I'M SURE IT'LL BE AMAZING. I'm still nervous about this though...
UHCUHDVUKDVHUKVHUVHM I LOVED THIS CHAPTER SO SO SO SO MUCH IT WAS A LITERAL ROLLERCOASTER AND ANJALI QUEEN I LOVE
see ya on Friday!!
OKAY I AM LOVING THIS ENERGY BUT PLEASE FOCUS ON YOUR CLASSES FJKSDFHJKSJFHKD I PROMISE THE STORY IS GOING TO BE HERE WHEN YOU GET BACK LOL.
But I am so glad you like it. Amidst all your screaming and chaos, I always find very perceptive and profound observations. It's fantastic! I love it so much!
Thank you for enjoying LBAF - and good luck with your tests!!!
16 notes · View notes
evanescentdawn · 3 years ago
Text
WOW this got much longer than expected, and basically a full-blown fic idea that I desperately want now
(might add more to this since it doesn’t hold all of my thoughts yet and I’m nowhere finished it)
the idea is: ritsu accidentally confesses to teru when he didn’t even want to confess. he doesn’t like teru at all. but of course, teru hears nothing of that. he completely misunderstands, and thinks that ritsu is in love with him.
things escalate.
they do end up falling in love, in the end, though. <3
ft. one-sided terumob and Other Ideas
this manhwa summary/plot hit me out of nowhere, like I just recalled and went, oh my god, this would be the perfect idea for riteru
imagining Ritsu that accidentally confesses to teru. it’s completely by accident, and because a series of events that too complicated to explain. the problem is that now teru is convinced that Ritsu likes him, and nothing that Ritsu says will see as anything but that
“oh, brother-kun. I never knew.” teru says, with a bright smile. “is that how you act with your crushes? where you just shy all the time.... I almost got the wrong time”
this is all going to fast for ritsu to swallow. too fast for to ritsu to deal with. he’s still stuck in the moment where his own mouth betrayed him. “no...” he manages to get out, but it’s all already to late.
every time that ritsu tries to object, teru is going to think that he’s been shy and embarassed which is horribly not true. he hates that teru thinks is, doesn’t want teru to ever think that. the idea of him in — in —
just thinking of it, repulses him.
he tries his everything to correct this misunderstanding. (he fails)
omg, I just remembered! I was thinking about my other wip, where teru does misunderstand about Ritsu asking him out on a date or smth and then, while I was thinking about I was like... what if it was a confession? and then I recalled that manhwa
anyways! oh my god this would definitely get to mob at one point. but first all, thinking about Teru’s thoughts regarding all of this
he’s like of course, little brother-kun likes me. I’m me. but unfortunately for him, teru is already in love with someone else. mob. well. I was thinking that teru doesn’t like ritsu back, but teru being in love with his mob instead also sounds fun
teru looking at him with a pitying look, teru agreeing to week-date and giving Ritsu some of his time to deal with all this. Ritsu being baffled at all. like who the hell...
and just dislikes teru more, because the ego and the audacity he has... just what. the fuck.
Ritsu has never said anything, teru is just running with this and Ritsu is aware of how he likes his brother, so he tries to use that to get out of this whole mess. “but what about—”
teru hasn’t realised that his love for mob was that obvious and goes, oh, and acts all more pitying towards ritsu and is like Ritsu is all heartbroken about his. and going this is all makes sense now. ritsu likes him, and that’s why he tried to intervene with his precious time with mob. it’s all very understandable now.
it’s not understandable.
ritsu does not like him
ritsu is not heartbroken
teru is missing all the points. he just hated teru presence there, and wanted to be the one to spend with his brother then. and he hated how disgustingly shameless teru was around shigeo.
but of course, ritsu doesn’t get time to explain. he doesn’t get time to do anything. he has to go home, wondering, how did fuck this happen, why teru. blames on the elder woman who was there and had to speak then, and interrupt him him at that time, and blames reigen because actually this was all his fault. he wouldn’t be there if it wasn’t for him. teru wouldn’t be there if it wasn’t for him. the elder woman wouldn’t be there if it wasn’t him. clearly, the fault of mis-timing and him tripping of his words all falls on reigen.
he goes home, dark-faced and clutching the handle of his school bag, with a more deep distaste of reigen
oblivious to all that was occurring, and because of his simple act of telling mob something, reigen feels a ice-cold shudder at the back of his neck.
(perhaps, he just got cursed)
ritsu goes home, exhausted by everything, and sees mob there. sitting and looking happy, and expectant when he sees mob.
after a moment, ritsu asks his usual question of, how did your day go?
mob excitedly tells him how he managed to do this thing in the body improvement club which would seem like a trival thing to any person. but ritsu knows about his brother and his struggles and how this is a improvement. also yeah, I did say that mob says it excitedly but felt like I need to express how it sounds monotone and like it’s anything but exciteding and you weren’t someone that knew him you wouldn’t see how obviously exciting he is
at least one of them had a good day. “that’s good. that’s an amazing achievement, brother.”
mob beams.
ritsu feels worse at the fact that he can’t put more enthusiasm at that and hates teru even more, and reigen, and this whole situation
he goes to sleep.
he has a undisturbed sleep to the degree that when he wakes the next time, he can ALMOST delude himself that nothing. absolutely nothing happened.
teru appearing that morning disturbs it. he had forgotten about teru uninvited morning drop-ins despite how he doesn’t live in the same school as them and his house isn’t close to them
(oh my god, this just reminded me of haru. and now I’m thinking about a mp100 khr au which AAAAA would be so good.)
teru is the same as every morning. he’s dressed and dazzling with his bright yellow aura, way to early in the morning, and up in shigeo’s presence as his brother tries to go about his morning routine of getting ready for school.
just got struck by the image of: mob, sleepy, and brushing his teeth in the bathroom while teru stands in there with him and talks about stuff and admires himself in the mirror. it would be so perfect
ritsu is annoyed by his whole existence. he busies himself with getting though, and spends him lowkey (highkey this is ritsu after all) in awful anticipation of whatever teru is going to say about the confession
no, no, no, Hold on wait. ritsu WOULDNT busing himself with getting ready. he would be doing anything but that. he wouldn’t be able to relax and get ready in the house, when teru is here and everything unknown. and especially when teru is here and he talks a lot.... and might say something to his brother...
yeah, no, ritsu is taking no chances. he’s up in teru’s presence and trying to take him from his brother, and just making sure that he doesn’t say something.
.........which of course oh my god horribly makes this misunderstanding even worse
(will teru even learn that it’s misunderstanding? is it more better for him to never know. so what if it was based on a lie? ritsu will fall for him anyways.)
before this, I was thinking that teru doesn’t say anything and ritsu is almost able to relax when he gets a call, and then, a date dropped on him. because of course, having the tense/anticipation built up while teru is the same as always and acting like he doesn’t know anything, until the moment that they are saying goodbye and mob is out of the frame —
doesn’t even GIVE time for ritsu to be aware of anything, or be prepared, when he turns to him after saying goodbye to mob, and with a smile, “
did I say a call before? well. not a call anymore. it’s said in person, with a wink, and a smile. “gonna collect you after school”
ritsu is left........ idk actually. how would he act after that?? how does ONE act after that??? after the
wait, oh my god. yes, teru would definitely also drop in the fact that ritsu focusing on him all that time, and how did he never knew.... telling ritsu how his actions helped to grow this misunderstandings
it would be PERFECT
jeez. this is getting really long and totally a full blown fic idea. do I stop here and do little time stamps? or do I continue.
im continuing.
ritsu wishing that teru doesn’t appear. ritsu technically having no school, shit I forgot. what club is in again? whatever that school thing is. yeah, that. having no meeting or anything to do there there, but ritsu trying to find something to do. only to delay the time.
but, undisturbed by ever, standing in all his dazzlingly glory, teru is waiting for him there while he’s in conversation with others
in contract, ritsu looks weary and time and wishing to be nowhere but here. and wishing that he didn’t take those extra duties, because it was tedious and trying and the fact that teru is here and is still waiting after that....
teru directs a bright smile to ritsu when he notices him, that ritsu has to slightly squint at,
oh my god. that just remembered me of that tumblr post that goes on about ��zy was like the sun” descriptions and how they would be squinting or smth. and that’s definitely teru and Ritsu. oh my god, I need to write that scrne
anyways, back to the story. I don’t think that they would go on a date this time around. maybe, something had happen. I was thinking along the lines that teru wasn’t here because of ritsu, but because of mob and plans they had but that went to poof that morning because of reigen or smth. after all, ritsu is the one who likes teru and teru isnt.
actually. maybe that doesn’t happen this scene but I WOULD LOVE a moment where ritsu misunderstands and teru immediately corrects about that, like how he wasn’t here for him or that he wasn’t waiting for him or smth. and that his life/thoughts doesn’t resolve him (implying that Ritsu’s does resolve teru) and honestly, he should know, that this whole setup is because ritsu is the one with the feelings and teru is here and being a good person and indulging him out of pityness
ritsu seethes. none of that is right. and he hates teru’s condescending attitude. like the AUDACITY of this man. (he’s also very, very embarrassed about his mistake which I imagine would him make go the mile in never mistaking teru’s actions; which wouldn’t in favour for teru when he does fall for ritsu and his actions become more genuine in the nature that it’s for love but ritsu has that iron wall up)
so like, going back, where was I? yes, them walking home because there’s enough time for date. that works better for this situation. mmh, but I was thinking about whether teru would be waiting that long for him. or maybe, because he said so and so he did wait. or maybe, that teru has some other plan now and doesn’t have time for that date or smth
either way, ritsu is glad. ritsu is happy. ritsu is very relieved that
(oh no, another fic idea. from that meme(TM) where teru falls the downstairs, and reigen asks why ritsu is happy, because he never is in reigen’s presence and shou goes; teru fell the downstairs. and now I’m thinking about how the fuck did teru fall the downstairs. properly because of mob. definitely because of mob. and ritsu love for his brother and resolve that his brother is the best person grow because of this)
anyways back to what I was saying. ritsu is relived that he did that club activity thing.
what he isn’t happy about that teru is here, and still walking him home. doesn’t he have better stuff to...? and then, at time, teru asks him when he fell for him and
things click in place.
teru is here because he wants to get off more on the non-love that Ritsu has for love because he has that much of an ego
“I don’t.” ritsu says. which, of course, teru replies with amusement and saying that he doesn’t have to hide now. he knows. which makes ritsu go, urghhh in frustration and digust.
just looked at the time and I swear I started writing this somewhere in 9pm and now it’s 10pm. whoops.
anyways, teru asking ritsu questions about his love for him and ritsu saying, “no, I don’t love you” and
“no I don’t — what the hell? what [specific-thing-about-teru-that-teru-expects-ritsu-to-notice] no I haven’t. why would I??????”
and teru going, hmm, “guess your love isn’t that strong” and Ritsu bafflement,
and teru definitely asking him about what about he loves about him, and Ritsu going “nothing” and teru laughing, “you got humour” but ritsu is not joking
(now whether the teru knows ritsu actually doesn’t love him or he doesn’t is never addressed. I love it being ambiguous more)
they eventually reach ritsu’s home, and teru has a good satisfied ego-stroke from that conversation while ritsu just looks Tired
skipping over to fun date shenanigans! what types dates would they go on?
of course we gotta have cinema date!!! I have been thinking of ritsu having “likes human drama” in his character profile a lot and while I don’t remember what it said for teru, he does...like gossip right?? I’m actually unsure about that as we’ll BUT ANYWAYS teru loves to give his ideas on stuff
and anyways thinking about how ritsu expected to having the worst time, and it starts off as awful. like about how he doesn’t want to be here, and the movie that teru chooses doesn’t look good, and teru picked up the love seats for them
and anyways thinking about, how ritsu is not optimistic about anything and is not here to enjoy himself but as the movie starts....as the movie continues in.....
he gets INVOLVED. he finds that this is straight up his genre
and teru asking him how the movie was afterwards and talking about it, and immediately refuting whatever he says and offering an alternative that teru refutes and that one part in the convo where they
oh my god STRAWS. DRINKS STRAWS. Ritsu getting a specific drink that he likes and that teru side eying it, and going, huh, I haven’t that before, it good? and Ritsu nodding and teru just going for it and drinking it as well from the other side
...because it’s a couple drink or smth and Ritsu PAUSE
and teru acting like it’s totally a normal thing.
(oh my god, new idea: fake dating!!! them having to act like a couple to get into something because of something and getting all-couple things!!!!)
(this reminds me of my other fake dating idea that I want to write, which oh my god would fit with this one I just got)
(riteru fake dating is just So Good. So Perfect heart starry eyes)
gonna stop here, because stuff. so much ideas though!!! still buzzing!!! god, I love them so much and this is gonna be FANTASTIC
but ending off on, teru doing the arm around shoulder thing for ritsu like all the girls he had dated. oh my god, yes.
also...thinking about....mob and him learning through teru but ritsu doesn’t know yet and mob just Dropping on ritsu on time and Ritsu having a flashback through all the times that he had gotten back from date with teru and filling the blanks of
wait. would teru tell mob? would teru want mob to know this.
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thedeadthree · 3 years ago
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🍓🍓 for miss yelena and 🍓🍓 for miss olga please! (also i saw you mentioned an accident, i'm so sorry!! i hope you're doing okay! 💜💜)
RYLEY HIII BB I HOPE UR DOING WELL HUN! and that you’re taking care of yourself! hold on while i cry because thank you so much for the kind words and well wishes it genuinely means so much to have that right now ahhh EMOTIONAL! and im so sorry this is so late! (darn pain brain ✨🤧) anyway! thank you again! 🤎
give me a 🍓 and one of my ocs, and i’ll tell you some random facts about said oc!
— OLGA LITVINCHUCK, citadel 🧠
🍓- mina 🤝 olga <- falling in love with their partners AT FIRST SIGHT hehehe! but like kinda? definitely was like oh man he’s cute when they were gearing up for surgery but it didn’t really kick into high gear until the debriefing when she met up with him at his office before she left for the day! texted eli immediately that give her a year and she’ll be miss uytterhoeven in no time ✨😌! it’s fun to pull his leg and watch him go red around her like maybe the tough chief victor “I’m cool as a cucumber” uytterhoeven has some range after all hehe 🤍
🍓- absolutely ADORES her family and misses them dearly! they live in kiev and send her food and things from home regularly!!!!! ✨🥺 facetimes them all the time when she can and sometimes eli joins her in talking to them! like a member of the family at this point! she moved to the us to attend medical school and aspires to be the top NINO neurosurgeon at citadel! her parents are very excited to visit her and take a tour around the hospital! (a very lovely fic i have in mind is they come across vic at the hospital and they immediately, because they know their daughter hehe, know this is the lucky guy that’s stolen their daughters heart! it’ll be cute! it’ll be inch resting to see vic meeting the parents!)
— YELENA VORONIN, fallout 3 🩺
🍓- this girl further makes me cry because following her departure from the capital wasteland to help other people across the wastes who may need her. she wears her fathers scientists coat over her stealth armor that she got from the anchorage bunker, alaric recovered james’ jacket (at the time it was to do research on the affects of a lethal dosage of radiation from the remnants left on his clothes! he kept it though after he got the research he needed and before they departed he gave it to her… YOURE IN LOVE ALARIC ALEXANDER! James helped and saved the people of the wasteland with the project purity research and all his life and now that she’s living the same? she wants to wear it and think of him knowing she’s keeping his memory alive ✨🤧
🍓- her birthdays were nice growing up but despite having a idyllic life, safe and happy in the vault it was also quite lonely! very! not that many friends save for amata (who roman still thinks was only friends with yelena to improve her image) and the other girls were definitely only friends to improve their image, most people as well wanted to gain favor/better care from her dad who was the doctor (it didn’t matter but they didn’t know what! ) so pretty lonely!!!!!!!✨🤧 so after meeting kellan and roman, and then alaric later on in broken steel? and finding out that roman had never had a real birthday party? and in thanks to the only true family and friends she’s ever known (the closest thing she’s had to an older brother, her TRUE BEST FRIEND and closest thing to a sister, and finally alaric the love of her life that she least expected!) she makes a declaration that when everything is over and peace is restored to the capital wasteland, SHE WILL THROW ROMAN A BIRTHDAY PARTY ✨🥺 but unfortunately this didn’t happen until TEN YEARS LATER bc roman is terrified of trusting people and having friends, was evading old enemies and doing her thing as the wastelands avenger, she kept leaving before yelena could throw her the party :’) yelenas genuine heart for others and the care she has for her friends and loved ones is something i hold so DEAR AHH ✨🥺 and really what alaric finds so endearing about her! how the wasteland has still kept her heart despite all the horrible things that she’s gone through! never change bb!
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emiliaheartfeel · 3 years ago
Text
Supergirl
Chapter 11: Can we keep her
AN: Hey so a lot of this volume will be written too. I am hoping to update every Friday and Sunday, but Sunday is for sure maybe not Friday though.
I am also so so sorry for not updating for a while I got super sick and was in and out of the hospital for a while.
You hadn’t been feeling like yourself ever since you got back to Tokyo a few days ago. Being by yourself in you apartment didn’t help. The gym was still closed when you got back and there was only so much running you could do in a day to distract yourself. What you were doing isn’t healthy but you don’t care. It’s better then crying in a room all alone. Every once in a while you call Suna to talk and calm down. He did in fact FaceTime you everytime he watched Toliet-Bound Hanako and sometimes you would see his sister that was two years younger then you because she was a huge fan of some of the programs you support. It was always weird for you when people talked about you as if your this strong indestructible woman especially right now. Sighing as you walk up to your apartment lost in though your phone rings.
Tsum-Tsum 🥺
You ignore it. But quickly shoot him a text that you’re studying for your exams. According to some law athletes under the age of 17 have to still take school exams and pass with a B. You home schooled yourself mostly sometimes your adoptive unit would help when the subject was particularly difficult. Sometimes, a lot of the time, you just FaceTimed Osamu to help you cause he did the same stuff last year. He would probably be calling you here soon too. The twins knew something was up you were hardly responding to them and kept giving excuses as to why you couldn’t talk whenever they called. You felt a little bad for ignoring them, but you didn’t want to deal with your emotions yet. Because if you don’t confront it you guys are still the best of friends, right? You knew it was because you were a coward and couldn’t handle whatever they would say to defend their actions. Honestly you just wanted to pretend you don’t even know. Just go back to shooting Atsumu texts about the dumbest things you see or sending Osamu recipes you find. You miss saying good night to them over the phone. Even being so far from them physically they had been part of your everyday life even when you were in Tokyo. Not wanting to dwell on it anymore you finish up some homework and take melatonin and start your night routine. You go to bed declining Atsumu’s phone call ones again hoping that with the gym opening tomorrow life will get easier.
“L/N-San you are going to train with Komori-San for a awhile, I think she can rank in Nationals this year if she is pushed right,” your coach called pushing the brunette towards you. You give him a firm nod and glance at Komori-San whom you have never been introduced to even though you both had been at this gym for the last 4 years.
“Call me Y/N I hate formalities,”
“Then call me Akari!”
If you remembered right she was around your age and had decent enough routines, but her lack consistency made her seem mediocre. She only seemed slightly nervous over the fact you two were training together. Many people would question why the world’s best was training with someone who has yet to be nationally rank, simple most nationally ranked girls were in Kyoto. You nod and get started. Through out the day you begin to relax and enjoy Akari’s company and explaining how to do certain flips or transitions helped you better understand it. Akari didn’t seem to have much fear she just lacks focus. You realized you liked her a lot and believed honestly maybe if she worked hard enough she might rank high enough to be invited to international events.
Days turn into weeks and you continue dodging the teams explaining your just too busy working with Akari, but you were only training with Akari with about six hours a day you spent another three with individual training. Anyone could see you have been over working yourself for weeks. Akari and you had grown much closer since then and she has improved astronomical since then even exceeding the coaches expectation. She was so sweet and treated you like a normal girl which you loved. When she did manage to drag you away from the gym you two were spending time together shopping are doing homework at your apartment. It helped a little with the growing dread in you every time you saw a missed call from one of the twins.
“Komori-San come here for a moment” your coaches yelled. Akari nodded at you and smiled before running over to the coach you start stretching yourself to cool down from a day of training. It doesn’t take long for Akari to come racing back over and lunging at you.
“Y/N-Chan coach says I am on for the meet with Kyoto!!”
She is so excited she is bouncing. You can’t help but be excited too. After helping her, you have grown quite attached to the girl. With a broad smile she giggles
“Y/N-Chan you have to come to family dinner! I get this chance because of you!!”
“No Akachan it’s cause of your hard work”
“Pretty please Y/N-Chan come over and eat with us!”
“Fine but we should probably shower first,”
“Omg yes! My cousin is a germaphobe so we should be so gross”
You girls did just that as soon as practice ended. It was the first time you left with Akari instead of work yourself to the bone again. Akari and you walk out with your arms linked and she leads to two boys in track suits. One had the same chestnut brown hair and oval eyebrows Akari did so you assumed that was her brother. The other was a boy with wavy hair and dark eyes wearing a mask. He had to beauty marks above his right eyebrow.
“Guess who is going to part of the Kyoto meet with most of the National girls!”
“Gold medalist Y/N L/N”
“No, Moyota-nii it’s me!”
“Would have never guessed”
“Mean!”
“Well I mean he’s still right, last I checked Akachan I am going”
“You’re Y/N L/N?”
“The one and only,”
“Your performance two years ago was simply breathtaking,”
“Oh thank you!
“Omg Nii-San are you seeing this! Omi-nii is being nice to someone else!”
“Who are you and what have done with our cousin?”
“I am merely stating fact,”
“Can we keep her? Like you are actually being nice,”
“She’s not a pet”
“But she’s cute like one”
“…”
“I don’t know how I feel about being compared to a pet.”
“Shh we have adopted you”
As you hang out with them your phone goes off and you don’t have the heart to check and see if it is one of the twins. Akari smiles back at you as her and grabs your hand to pull you along with them.
Masterlist
@kaleidoscopekai @je-suis-argent-miel @liferuinedby5idiotsand1genius @poppi144 @idontevenknow129 @ssuna @im-the-music-whore @kac-chowsballs
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dalamjisung · 5 years ago
Text
messing with my head ❀ im jaebeom
word count: 6515
genre: hospital!au, fluff
pairing: neurosurgeon!jaebeom x baker!reader
description: he always care for everyone, but no once cares for him. until you show up. 
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It’s a condition in which there is an over-accumulation of fluid in the brain… surgery for a shunt… potential brain damage… some complications can occur… if not, he’ll live a normal, happy life… timely surgery… fatal. 
                                                                ————————
The day your little brother was born was the happiest day of your life. Eight years ago, little Taehyung gave you a sense of purpose. You were now a big sister– you had someone to love and protect. You had someone to teach, and someone to learn from. As a daughter, you might not have been the best; you rebelled and partied for a while; insisted on bad decision; hung out with the wrong people. But that all changed once you turned 16, and Taehyung turned one. You still remember the moment that the change happened. It was his birthday, and he looked as tiny as ever in his little overalls and fuzzy socks. Just as you were about to blow out the candles for him, he giggles and points his chubby finger at you.
“Y/N!” He screeches, laughter following. “Y/N! Y/N!”
Your mother looks at you, eyes wide and tearful. “That’s right, Taehyung-ie, that’s your noona, Y/N.”
“Y/N!” He screams again and wiggles out of your father’s grasp, crawling to you. 
You pick him up, hugging your little brother close. Tears fall on his head and you let out a gurgled laugh, allowing your parents to hug their children. After that day– the day that Taehyung’s first word was you,– you promised to be better. For your parents, for Taehyung, for yourself. It was time for improvement. You started looking for part-time jobs, stopped hanging out with those bad people, and only attended parties every once in a while. You were lucky your grades never slipped, so you kept up with your studies easily. 
One day, after school, you were walking back home with a friend when you passed by a small, white bakery. No name, no advertisement, nothing but a small we sell delicious baked goods! on the window.
“You go ahead,” You tell your friend as you walk to the bakery. “I’m gonna check this out.”
“I’ll go with you,” Hyejin says, smiling. “Moral support and all.”
Out of all your friends, Hyejin is the only one you knew to be real– she was unforgivingly herself, and you admired that a lot. She’s always been by your side, supporting you and calling you out on your shit. Her friendship is one you’ll never give up on. 
You two walk in, arm in arm, and initially you see no one, but then you hear a pained grunting from behind the counter and you lean over, looking at an elderly woman trying to carry a box that was visibly too have for her. 
“Let me help you, ma’am,” You smile, walking around the counter and easily picking the box up. “Where shall I put this?”
“Ah, thank you so much,” She says smiling, and once you notice how her eyes almost disappear under such bright and wide smile, you feel something inside of you telling that you belong in that place. “I’m getting too old for this…”
“Not at all,” You joke. “I just eat a lot, so I’m freakishly strong.”
She laughs at that and you already feel oddly fond of that woman. 
“You remind me a lot of my grandson, young lady,” She says and start moving around, grabbing things; first a plate, then a cup. “Sit over there, sweetie, I’ll get you and your friend something to eat.”
“Oh, you don’t have to,” Hyejin says, smiling kindly. 
“Please, let me do at least that,” She says, and you two sit down, keeping an eye in case she needed any more help. She brings you two pieces of cake and iced tea, and you are sure you saw stars when you took the first bite, humming in appreciation. “Ah, I’m going to miss this– the look on your faces just made my day…”
“Are you leaving, ma’am?” You ask frowning in disappointment. You had just found out about this place…
“Unfortunately, I might have to close the bakery,” She sighs, looking down at her feet. “I’ve been running this place for almost forty years, with some help here and there, but now I’m old, and I can’t do the things as fast and efficiently as I used to.”
“Have you been working here by yourself, ma’am?” Hyejin frowns.
“My grandson used to help me when he was in high school,” She smiles proudly. “I had to practically kick him out of here so that he’d go to college… but ever since, it’s been just me.” “Let me work here.”
The request comes out fast and strong and you think that’s what makes the owner consider, looking you up and down.
“And why would a young, beautiful girl like you want to work with an old woman like me?” She laughs, dusting her hands in her dress. “You should be enjoying your youth, little girl.”
“Done that already,” You smile, following after her with your used plates and cups. “I want to help my parents. I want to be a good daughter. And I want to be happy while doing so. Let me work here… please.”
“What makes you think you’ll be happy here? Look around you, sweetheart; this place is run down. Customers barely come, anymore, and all I have left are my recipes and good memories. I can’t pay you much, and it’s a very time consuming job, I don’t thi–”
“I don’t care about the pay,” You smile, leaning over the counter. “Ma’am, this place is incredible. My mother’s been backing ever since I was born, so I know a thing or two. I see how happy she is when she’s baking and I see how happy you look in here… I’m sorry if I sound crazy, but please. Let me work here. I can come everyday after school, and even before if you need help prepping ingredients and–”
She raises her hand, silencing you in the process. She has a stern face, observing you. Your smile falters.
“I’m sorry,” You mumble, suddenly embarrassed. “I didn’t mean to press you or disrespect you.”
“Crazy,” She says, squinting. “Might just be what I need… can you start tomorrow?”
And that’s how it all begun. 
                                                               ————————
Seven years after that, you now manage Sweet Dreams alongside Ms. Im. At first, your parents were a little unsure about you working at the bakery, afraid that you’d not handle the weight of school and work very well, but you proved them wrong with each day that passed, improving not only your grades, but also helping out at the house. They refuse to let you help with expanses and told you to put all your paychecks in a saving account, so that you could go to college comfortably. You are now 23 and although you have plans for college one day, you just can’t seem to leave Ms. Im and the bakery behind. The amount of work you put into the place made it your home; you named it, painted it, fixed some of it. Ms. Im has been your mentor ever since you were sixteen and leaving her behind would be like leaving family– and you’d never leave your family. 
Especially not right now.
“How’s the little guy?” Ms. Im asks as you arrive, the sky outside still dark. You had to start prepping the ingredients and baked goods early in the morning, waking up before the sun and observing as it rises along with your cakes. 
“Sleeping a lot still,” You mumble, sounding as worried as you feel. “He complains about headaches all the time and he’s always sick… I’m really worried about him.”
“Are your parents working today?” Ms. Im asks just as you are about to put your apron on. 
“Yeah,” You sigh, suddenly getting a headache yourself. “He’s with grandpa right now, and we think that Advil has been helping, but we can’t keep pushing it much further… it’s been four days already.”
“Take that apron off,” Ms. Im demands and you do it without questioning. “We’re not opening the shop today.”
“What?” You shriek. “But Friday is one of our busiest days!”
“And one of the mellow days at the hospital,” She winks. “Let’s go, I’m driving you.”
“Ms. Im,” You follow her outside, shivering as you haven’t had the time to even put your jacket on. “I can take Taehyung myself, you don’t have to bother, really!”
“You walked into my shop seven years ago begging for a job,” Ms. Im says as she starts driving to your house. “Not only I gained a reliable worker, but I gained a daughter. Now stop complaining; Taehyung can’t see his sister freaking out like that.”
“Thank you,” You smile, wiping a few stray tears away. “Thank you so much.”
“No problem, dear,” She chuckles. “I promise it will be quick– if I’m not wrong, he’s still at the hospital doing an early shift.”
“Who?” You ask.
“My grandson.”
In seven years of working for Ms. Im, you are pretty sure you’ve heard about her grandson at least twice a day. She is incredibly proud of him; he went from a trouble maker to a very successful doctor, it’s all you remember. You are not sure what he does exactly, but you always noticed the tinge of sadness in her voice when she talked about him. In seven year, you heard about him everyday; but in seven years, you’ve never seen him at the shop. 
“Go get the kid,” Ms. Im says pulling up to your house. “I’ll wait here.”
You manage to not wake up you grandfather in the process, but you make sure to leave a note in the fridge telling him that you’re taking your brother to the hospital. 
“Where are we going?” Taehyung asks, groaning as you pick him up from his bed.
“Where going to the hospital, baby,” You say soothingly. “Remember how I went to see a nice doctor when I was in pain and then I felt good? I’m going to take you to see a nice doctor, too.”
“Okay,” Taehyung says and lays his head on your shoulder, drifting back to sleep. 
You text your parents from the car and you promise to keep them updated in case they have to go to the hospital too. Ms. Im parks the car and guides you through the maze that is the hospital, walking as if she owned the place. Some doctors stopped to say hello but she’d keep walking, marching with a purpose, almost. 
“Ms. Im,” You plead, looking around nervously. “We have to get in line, or maybe talk to a nurse, I don’t think we–“
“Ya!” She shouts, waving her small arms above her head and getting everyone’s attention. “Yugyeom!”
If you could hide, you would; but at the same time, you’d never been more thankful towards her, who’s done so much for you as it is. A tall doctor looks around, looking for the source of the ruckus, and he smiles widely when he sees her, jogging his way over. 
“Halmoni!” He shouts and hugs her tightly.
So this is him?, you think to yourself, holding Taehyung tightly against yourself. Is this the famous grandson?
“Y/N,” Ms. Im calls. “This is Yugyeom. Or Dr. Kim, as he is known around here. He is one of the best pediatricians in the city, so I am sure he can help. He’s friends with my boy.”
“Hello, it’s nice to meet you,” He smiles gently. “Who’s that little guy?”
“Oh!” As if you have just awaken from a trance, you bow to him as best as you can while holding your brother. “It’s nice to meet you too; I’m sorry for the sudden visit, Doctor, but–“
“Will the nice doctor help me?” Taehyung asks, looking at the tall man. 
“Yes, I will,” Yugyeom smiles. “What’s your name?”
“Taehyung,” He yawns, and then raises both his hands, putting down both his thumbs. “And I’m eight.”
“Ah, you’re a big guy already,” Dr. Kim says. “Follow me, please. We can talk better in my office.”
While Taehyung played with an alien stuffed doll, you explained the situation to Dr. Kim Yugyeom; your brother has been sleeping a lot these days, and complaining of headaches and dizziness. He’s been sick and crying and you are desperate. 
“Ah,” Dr. Kim’s face changes and he looks almost in pain. His brows are furrowed and he looks at Taehyung with worry. “Would you mind if I called a colleague here? I want a second opinion on something and he might have a better understanding of it than me…”
“Oh, yes, of course,” You mumble, hands fidgeting. 
Ms. Im stands by your side, and she puts a hand on top of yours, silently promising support. She’s been there for your first heartbreak; she’s been by your side through arguments, and fights, and birthdays, and celebrations. The fact that she is with you in that moment made things less hard; it made you believe that everything would be okay. 
“Excuse me,” Someone calls from the door. “Hello, I’m Dr. I–“
“Ya, Im Jaebeom, you ungrateful child!” Ms. Im shouts and you jump from your seat a little, surprised with the outburst. “Do I have to come all the way over here and bother your friends to finally see you?”
Ah, you think, holding a chuckle back. This is him. 
The man blinks, lost and confused, before smiling wide. That was the confirmation you needed– the way his eyes disappear under his wide smile was exactly the same as Ms. Im.
“Grandma!” He hugs her tight. “I’m sorry, halmoni, things have been crazy here in the hospital…”
“You could’ve called,” She pouts and hugs him back. “But we’ll talk about that another time. Dr. Kim called you here for another reason.”
“Is everything okay?” He asks, looking at his grandmother. “Are you eating properly? Do you have any joint pain? Backache?”
“I’m strong as a bull, child,” She laughs. “It’s Y/N that needs your help.”
You respectfully bow to him. “Nice to meet you, Dr. Im. I’m Y/N, and this is Taehyung.”
He looks at you and bows back. Dr. Im Jaebeom looks a little taken aback and you move uncomfortably under his gaze, bringing your brother closer. 
“So you are the crazy girl that my grandmother talks so much about,” He says, and there is a certain something in his voice that you just can’t seem to grasp– an edge that made you shiver. “What can I help you with?”
“It’s the boy,” Dr. Kim says in a soft voice. “He’s only eight and he’s been experiencing strong headaches. He sleeps a lot and is always dizzy and sick… all symptoms seem to add to hydrocephalus, but I wanted to consult with you before diagnosing him. Can you take a look?”
“Of course,” Dr. Im moves quickly and efficiently, crouching in front of Taehyung. “Hi there, buddy– would you mind if I touched your head really quick?”
The consultation goes by quick and you don’t understand any of it; they talk in medical terms and when they finally take the time to talk to you, your brother is already being admitted to the hospital. You numbly sign all the necessary paperwork and when you come back to your senses, you are standing outside of Taehyung’s room, and Dr. Im is moving his lips, but you can’t hear a thing.
“I’m sorry,” You sigh, frustrated. “Can you repeat that? I don’t know what happened, I just– I don’t know. I’m sorry.”
He frowns and you feel like hiding again. His gaze is burning on your skin and can only wonder how dumb he must think you are.
“Sure,” He clears hi throat. “Taehyung-ie has a condition called hydrocephalus, in which the over-accumulation of cerebrospinal fluid inside the skull causes pressure on the brain. This is why he is having headaches and dizziness. When did this start?”
“Around four days ago,” You choke on your words. “Is it dangerous? Can you treat him?”
“All conditions have potential to be dangerous, but you did good in bringing him here as early as you could,” Dr. Im says, nodding to himself. “Unfortunately, this is not something that just goes away with time, nor something that can be medicated. The only solution is surgery.”
“Surgery?” You whimper, letting your shoulders fall in defeat. “What is the success rates of this surgery, Doctor?”
“The shunt surgery has a higher success rate for children,” He explain carefully. “But that doesn’t mean it doesn’t have risks. Because we will insert a shunt inside of him to help with the circulation of the fluid accumulated in his head, things like shunt failure or infection can happen, but that’s why we’ll keep him in the hospital for an observation period.”
You nod, processing everything he’s telling you. 
“Alright,” You whisper. “Okay. What are the next steps?”
“You’ll have to go to the Financial office to talk about the expenses,” As he talked, you could only fixate your eyes on the embroidery of his coat. Im Jaebeom. “We’ll schedule the surgery for tomorrow. The sooner we do this, the better. We only need his mother to sign the consent form.”
He extends some papers and a pen towards you and you look back at him, suddenly at a loss of words. 
“I… uh, I-I’m not his mother,” You smile tightly. “I’m him older sister.”
“Oh, I apologize, I assumed that–“
“Haven’t I raised you right, Im Jaebeom?” Ms. Im asks, coming with two cups of coffee in hand, and you frown alongside her grandson. “Never assume… tsk, for a doctor he is really stupid, isn’t he, Y/N?”
You chuckle. “You must think we’re all idiots here if you intend on drinking that coffee, Ms. Im. You know it’s not good for you!”
She laughs. “This is for you two,” She gives one to Jaebeom and the other to you. “To keep up the energy.”
“When my parents arrive I’ll ask my mother to sign the papers,” You turn to the doctor, still too intimidated to look him in the eyes. “They should be here soon, so you can schedule the surgery for tomorrow.”
You don’t even see him leaving, allowing your body to fall on a waiting chair. You are not sure if you fell asleep or simply gave up, but when you open your eyes again, you are on the couch inside your brother’s room.
                                                               ————————
Taehyung was prepped for surgery and you couldn’t even look. You held his tiny hand, but your eyes were fixated on Dr. Im Jaebeom’s. He looked at you as intensely as you looked at him, and although you had a weird feeling that this man hated you, his piercing eyes on yours were the only thing holding you together. You couldn’t cry in front of Taehyung, and you couldn’t cry in front of Dr. Im. Simple as that. 
“We’ll take him now,” One of the nurses tell you and you nod, walking behind them and behind Ms. Im and her grandson. You feel alone at that moment, with your parents supporting each other, with the Im’s chatting together, and with your little man going into surgery. He’s the one that walks with you, and you feel as if you failed him. 
Dr. Im turns around and looks at you. “The surgery will last from about an hour to two hours. If it takes a bit longer, don’t worry, it just means that we’re doing our best to make everything right. I prefer to take my time and have a successful surgery than to rush things. A nurse will keep you updated so that you are aware of everything that’s happening in there.”
“Take care of him,” You say, voice strong, surprising everyone. “Or I will kill you.”
And for the first time, you’ve seen Im Jaebeom smile at you. You mother slaps your shoulder, but you ignore the sting, maintaining eye contact.
“We’ll do our best,” He says chuckling. “That is all I can promise you.”
“That’s all I need,” You say and nod at him. “Thank you, Doctor.”
You are not sure what happens in between, but Dr. Im comes out through the doors and in your head only thirty minutes passed; instantly you are washed with dread. You try to stand up but your legs give out and you’d be on the floor if not for his reflexes.
“My brother,” You breath out, frantically looking into his eyes as he tries to talk to you. “Taehyung-ie– is he okay? That was too fast, it was too quick– what happened? Dr. Im–“
“The surgery took two hours and he’s perfectly fine,” Dr. Im says, frowning deeply. Is he always frowning?, you wonder as he drags you to the nearest chair. “Taehyung is doing fine; he’s still asleep because of the anesthesia, but he’s under observation and he’s safe.”
“Thank you,” You whisper, starting to cry. You slouch your shoulders forward and burry your face on your hands. “Thank you so much, oh my god, thank you Dr. Im.”
“Y/N,” He calls, pulling your face up. He looks at your eyes, puts a hand on your forehead, and frowns even more. “Are you feeling okay? You look like you’ve been in and out of reality for the past two days… you feel warm.”
“I’m good,” You smile. “Just haven’t eaten in a while. I’ll do it as soon as I see my brother.”
“No, stay here for a second,” He says and leaves with long strides.
He’s okay, you think to yourself, trying to stop the tears. Taehyung is okay. Pull yourself together, Y/N.
“Drink this,” Dr. Im puts a cup on your hand and gives you an energy bar. “And eat this.”
“What about you?” 
His eyes widened. “I-I’ll eat something later…”
Is he embarrassed?
“You have to eat, too, Doctor, you look worn out,” You smile. “You care about everyone, but yourself, huh?”
“Yah,” He laughs, and you chuckle with him, suddenly feeling your energy coming back although you didn’t eat yet. “You sound just like my grandmother.”
“Well, she did mentor me for seven years,” You shrug your shoulders, with a fond look on your face. “Your grandmother means a lot to me…”
“The fact that you took care of her all these years means a lot to me,” He admits, looking slightly guilty. “After I left to go to medical school, I couldn’t come back and check on her as often as I wanted. Then one day she called me, and she told me about this crazy, beautiful girl, who begged her for a job in her run down bakery and… well, I worried for a while, because she did say the girl was crazy, but then she tells me how good this girl is, how kind, and I know I can stop worrying all the time. I know she’s not alone… I might have been jealous, sometimes, I’ll admit, but thank you, Y/N. For everything you’ve done for my halmoni.”
You are at a loss of words. For someone who looks so cold and collected to sound so emotional and true was a shock. 
“I am the one that should be thanking you,” You chuckle incredulously. “You saved my brother’s live.”
“But that’s my job,” He smiles, looking to the floor and then looking back at you. It is almost as if all the air in your lungs disappeared, and you suddenly don’t know how to breath. “Taking care of my grandmother is not your job.”
Before you can say something his phone beeps and he gets up.
“Taehyung is awake,” He smiles and did he always have those moles under his eyebrow? “Let’s go.”
You let him guide you through the halls and you wonder if anyone cares for this doctor that cares for everyone else but him. 
                                                               ————————
“You should go home,” Dr. Im says. It’s been two days since the surgery and you were the only one that hasn’t left the hospital yet. One of the nurses was kind enough to let you shower in their bathroom, but had to admit, just showering wasn’t doing much. You’ve been wearing the same clothes and even your parents went home to sleep, but you refused to leave once they got back to the hospital. 
“I don’t want to leave without him,” You mumble, caressing Taehyung’s hand as he sleeps. “I promised I wouldn’t.”
He nods. “Follow me, then,” And leaves.
You have to jog a bit to catch up to him, but soon enough you are in his office, and from behind his desk, he produces a duffle bag. Grabbing a few things, he gives them to you and tells you to go take a long, relaxing shower. Doing as he says, you take your time, asking a few nurses if it’s okay to take a shower since they are only starting their shifts and won’t need the shower for a while. You’ve become acquainted with a few of them and they all give you the okay. The sweatpants and t-shirt he gave you are obviously too large for you, but you like the way it looks anyways. Smiling at yourself, and at how stupid you must look, you stop by the vending machine to get a snack. You get two energy bars, knowing that Dr. Im will be with Taehyung when you get back. Said and done; Jaebeom is laughing at something that your brother is doing and you wonder if one day you’ll get to call him Jaebeom out loud. 
“Hello there,” You say lightly, blushing a little at the way Jaebeom looks at you in his clothes. “Thank you for the clothes, doctor.”
“No problem, Y/N,” He smiles, and you don’t fail to notice the redness in his cheeks. 
“I got you this,” You say giving him one of the energy bars, and putting the other in his pocket. “You need to eat to take care of other people.”
He laughs and one of his hands fly to push his hair back and grab at the back of his neck, a habit you notice he does whenever he’s embarrassed. “Thank you.”
“Eat it,” You squint at him playfully. “Right now.”
“I have to check on a patient,” He says taking a huge bite, finishing it almost in one go. “I’ll be back to check on you, okay?”
“Alright,” You smile, and you don’t call attention to the fact that he said he’d be checking on you. You like it. “See you later."
You don’t– see him later, that is. You are not sure what happens but Dr. Im doesn’t come around anymore; another day goes by and even Taehyung notices the change, asking for his doctor to the nurses. She all just say he’s busy taking care of other people, but there’s something off about them, too. One of them, Nurse Lee, asks you to follow her to the counter where you can sign the discharge papers so that you can finally take your brother home, and you hear a couple of other doctors talking.
“…yeah, they died,” A shiver runs through your spine with those words and you take a deep breath and focus on reading the papers in your hand. “Jaebeom did his best, but not everyone can be saved.”
“You know how he is though,” The other doctor sighs. “Is he alright?”
“No,” They shake their heads. “Definitely not.”
Signing everything, you tell the nurses you’ll be right back, and you run to the office you’ve gotten to know so well. During your brother’s recovery, Dr. Im has been you friend, you dare to say. You’ve silently eaten with him in his office as he did some work and you read a book; you’ve talked to him about his grandmother; you’ve taken snacks to his office late at night. It was your way to repay him, after everything he’s done for you and your family. You went from thinking he hated you, to understanding how hard his job is on him. And right now, it was exactly one of those moments, in which the harshness of his reality is laid upon him, and you can’t do anything but knock on his door and pray that he’ll open. 
“Yes?” 
His voice sounds harsh and used out. His eyes find yours instantly and they turn back into those scrutinizing eyes you first met.
“Hi,” You say, suddenly uncomfortable. “You didn’t come by yesterday and today and I–“
“I am too busy to attend just to you and your brother,” He snaps. “I have a whole lot of people needing me, too, you know?”
The coldness from his voice reminds you of the first time you met him, when you stood under his scrutinizing gaze. 
“Or do you think I have nothing better to do than to have to waste all of my time–“
“With me?” You interrupt him. “Just so you know, you didn’t have to spend your time with me, but I guess I should thank you, since you did, right?”
“Wha-“
“You don’t have to worry anymore, doctor,” You sneer. “We leave tonight. Here, this is a small thank you gift for wasting time with me.”
You give him the plastic bag with all snacks from the vending machine– literally all of them. It wasn’t much, but it would last him a few shifts, at least. All you wanted was for him to get better too; you weren’t dumb, you could easily see the suffering in his eyes, even at that moment– specially at that moment,– but you couldn’t just let him walk all over you like that. You had to stand your ground, like you did ever since you met him. 
“Whatever happened,” You say through gritted teeth. “It’s not your fault. Nor mine. Remember that.”
You leave him and you go back to Taehyung. 
Fuck Dr. Im, you think, furiously wiping a tear. It seems as if all you do is cry, and you are tired of it. I have Taehyung, alive and well. That should be enough.
                                                               ————————
Your days are back to normal– you wake up, check on Taehyung, and go to work, where you’ll spend hours and hours until you don’t have to spend any more time in there but you do still, baking a fresh batch of a different good every night, before calling the delivery man to take it away. 
Today, you make chocolate scones, using Ms. Im’s recipe just how she taught you years ago.
“Still baking?” She asks. “Is something wrong?”
“Not at all,” You smile, and put a scone in a take away box. “Here, for the trip.”
“Thank you, dear,” She smiles. “These used to be Jaebeom’s favorite.”
You smile and wave her goodbye, promising to close the store and go home soon. You do whatever task you have to keep you busy– cleaning the tables, wiping the floor, washing the dishes, freezing the dough. Anything to keep you from thinking about him. But it’s impossible. You think about him even more now, having a face to the name. Im Jaebeom. Ms. Im still talks about him every day and there’s nothing you can say or do that would justify the reason you want her to stop. 
He saved my brother’s life, and in the process he saved mine, too. He is kind and selfless and honest, but he is also tired and confused and overwhelmed. I want to care for him like he cared for me. Is this love?
No, you couldn’t say that to her. Much less to him.
“Excuse me, are you still open? I heard you guys had chocolate scones and I just had to come get one.” 
You freeze, body already stiff from work now barely being able to move.
“We’re closed,” You mumble, not looking at him. “But I can get you some scones to go.”
“If I take them to go,” He asks and you can see his feet, clad in black sneakers and tapping nervously on the floor. “Will you come with me?”
“Is this a pick up line?” You scoff.
“No, I just want to have these with you,” He chuckles and you can’t help yourself, you look at him, craving to see his eyes disappear when he smiles. “A thank you for all the food you’ve been sending to the hospital every night…”
“I’m glad,” You smile tightly, taking the apron off and hanging it on the wall. You push the cardboard box towards him. “Here you go. Have a goodnight.”
His smile is gone in a second. “Y/N…”
“You were very clear, Jaebeom,” You say sternly. “I’ll call you Jaebeom now, since we’re not in the hospital– you were very clear, Jaebeom. You are wasting your time with me; patients are waiting for you, families, friends. I’m just the girl that works with your grandmother… You have nothing to worry about, I won’t tell her anything, but it’s best if we stop this here.”
“Stop?” He asks, eyes wide. “I don’t think it’s that easy, Y/N. I missed you– did you know that? Of course you didn’t, but I’m here telling you: I missed you, goddammit. I’m a doctor, and I’m always frustrated about something, and stressed, and tired, but for the week you spent there, I felt completely okay, because I knew that in the end of the day, I’d have a constant thing in my life; Taehyung-ie and you, waiting for me with snacks. Asking me about my day. Asking me if I’m okay. People don’t do that, in the hospital– they have their own problems, and every day is a different surprise, but it felt good to have a constant, even for a little while.”
You say nothing, taking your time to process everything he’s saying.
“I’m sorry for being an asshole,” He chuckle. “I had just lost a patient; there were complications with his condition before surgery but we couldn’t wait and I lost him… But you were right, it’s not my fault, and it’s not yours. You shouldn’t have to put up with my anger, but I really, really hope you chose to put up with me despite my anger. I won’t lie, this happens a lot– the angry part. It comes with the job, even though we try our hardest to hide, but I promise to try my best to never let it all out on you ever again… please forgive me.”
You sigh, walking to him. He was wearing casual clothes and he finally looked his age, the gray hoodie and blue jeans bringing out the youth in him.
“You haven’t been eating regularly, have you?” You frown, hands holding his face. Your thumb brushes his cheekbones and his eyes are shining with something unknown to you– want, maybe. “I send you freshly baked goods everyday and you still look like you’ve lost weight…”
“What are you doing to me?” He mumbles, nuzzling his face in your hand and pulling you closer by the waist, resting his forehead on yours. “You’re messing with my head, Y/N…”
“Nah,” You chuckle, kissing his nose. “That’s your job.”
“That is possibly the lamest joke someone ever made about my job,” He laughs, and ah! there it is– cute little slits. The reason you love that so much is that it makes you all warm inside to know you can make him smile so hard that his eyes disappear. “But I love it anyways.”
“Does that mean I can make more of those?” You ask animatedly, pulling away slightly. “Cause I have a bunch of neurosurgery jokes I can ma–“
He shuts you up with a kiss and you instantly know he ate your scones before coming over, tasting the sugar and the chocolate in his mouth. It lasts long, and you prefer it that way– you want to take your timing discovering everything about Jaebeom. From the way his mouth drags over yours, chapped lips kissing you softly, to the way his hands find their way to your hair, your jawline, your waist. He pulls you closer, hugging you to him, and just as he is pressing you against the counter, you feel a vibration coming from his pocket. 
“Please tell me that your phone,” You snort a little, trying to hold your laughter in.
“Hilarious,” He says, rolling his eyes but smiling nonetheless.
“Do you have to go back?”
He nods. “Yeah, one of the patients needs surgery sooner than we thought… I’m sorry.”
“Don’t ever apologize for saving lives,” You frown, pecking his lips. “Text me when you get home?”
“Absolutely,” He kisses you deeply. “I’ll see you soon.”
He sees you sooner than he thought he would. The next day, when he texts you his shift is over in thirty, you go over to the hospital, with croissants and tea. When he sees you waiting by the main entrance, he can’t help but laugh out loud.
“You said that having a constant was nice,” You shrug as he kisses your face allover. “I’ll be your constant from now on.”
“I’d love that,” He says. “Love you.”
“Love you, too,” You smile. “I think.”
“You think?” He shrieks, pulling you to his car by the hand. 
“Yeah… can you take a look inside and find out for me?” You say tapping your head. 
He just looks at you, no emotion.
“If I ever get a song stuck in my mind,” You say, buckling up when Jaebeom starts the car. “Can you get it out for me?”
“Oh my god,” He lets his head fall on the wheel. “Is this what I signed up for?”
“Absolutely,” You giggle, and he turns to look at you. “Regret it yet?”
“No, but I’m sure you’ll get me there by the end of the night.”
“Yah!”
“I told you,” He grabs your hand, laughing. “You mess with my head. Crazy girl… tsk, gonna me crazy too.”
“By the way,” You start. “How will we break it to your grandmother?”
“What do you mean,” Jaebeom laughs. “She knows. She’s known for about seven years, now.”
“What?” You shout, head turning to look at him. “What do you mean?”
“I don’t know about you,” He shrugs. “But she’d talk about you a lot. Good things only– such a pretty girl, so kind, so nice. Ah, Jaebeom-ah, you remind me of Y/N… you two would get along so well. I’m pretty sure I fell in love with you before even knowing you.”
“Oh my god,” You gasp. “Ms. Im is a love genius.”
“I had to take after someone, you know?” Jaebeom brags.
For the rest of the night, you two bicker, laughing and kissing in between, and even though you promised to be his constant, barely did he know he’d be yours. 
---------------------
hello lovelies! I decided that I will now post a new part of the General Hospital series every weekend, so here it is Jaebeom’s story! He is my ult bias and I love him so much so i really hope you all enjoy it ❤️ please leave a comment and share it if you like the story! It really means the world for us writers when we get feedback :P Love you all and thank you for your endless support💕
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