#i know i will never truly be that guy because i Cannot fucking do contact lenses

[technoxenoholic]

i know i'm disabled and i can barely do anything productive ever and even regular makeup itches but i still really want to be one of those people who can do absolutely insane nonhuman character cosplays where it just looks like, idk, an actual fucking zora showed up to your event. the real frieza from dragon ball is here at your con. honey they shrunk the transformers and that's literally soundwave. you know? i want to be that guy (xenogender edition)

[aestherin]

privacy

19: idea of luxury

NOTES contains: kissing, mentions of 'housewife' (lol this so random ToT), very very lightly suggestive??? (tbh idek what counts as suggestive anymore :"D)

It was cold inside, but your hands were sweating.

Was it from the tension? You don't know. Likely, but not certain. Nervousness? Another possibility.

But was the cause of it related to the lean blue-haired man currently making his way towards you?

Certainly.

"Are you gonna publish an interior magazine?" Ayato smirked. "You keep taking photos of my penthouse, [Name]."

You rolled your eyes. "No, but I'm capturing all I want because I may never get to see this again. This would make good inspo for my future home."

Standing right in front of where you were sitting on the couch, you hear him feign a sigh. 'Close,' you thought.

"Love, you can go to my penthouse anytime. I can even have a duplicate key made for you. You want that?"

"No."

Ayato raised a brow. "And here I thought you liked my home."

"Not enough to treat it as my own, apparently."

"Shame. I was about to ask you to be my housewife."

You immediately sat up, causing you to be closer to him. The light fabric of the shirt Ayato's wearing was mere centimeters away from you. "Oh? Does that interest you?"

Baffled from what he said prior, you opted to ignore the almost nonexistent distance between you and the body of the man you're currently looking up to. "Excuse me? Housewife?"

"Yes?"

"Why the fuck do you think I'd want to be your housewife?"

Truthfully, for a moment, you considered the possibility. You've never wanted to slap yourself so bad once certain images flashed in your mind: the two of you smiling sweetly at each other, you cooking meals for Ayato (because he can't cook to save a life) in this very same penthouse, and more scenarios of affectionate domestic activities. Not to mention that the scenes even had filters when you imagined them.

You despise your own mind sometimes.

Maybe you should write scripts, too.

"Oh? You don't?"

Why in the world are you having this kind of conversation with him as he's looking down at you and you're staring up at him?

This is... a little...

'Ayato's a fucking tease.'

"No. I don't."

Your boyfriend laughed heartily. "Are you sure, love? You know, tens — if not hundreds — of thousands of people would get on their knees to be my housewife." He started leaning down towards you. "Some people even use that as their social media handles."

You forced out the actress in you, only so that he cannot see the expression that you truly were about to show. Why was he this close?

Actually, why were you guys even taking this long conversing about this one topic?

A sassy facade. "Well, sorry to burst your bubble, mister, but I'm not them."

You noticed how his brows lightly shot up in realization, how his playful gaze turned into one of delight. It's astonishing, really. How he could easily switch.

He let out a deep breath. "You're right, love. You are not them."

Ayato leaned in even closer, settling his hands on the backrest behind you to support himself.

Earlier, it was his shirt that your face almost had contact with. But now...

It was his face.

His unfairly perfect face.

A genuine smile from the guy was all it took to break your pretense.

"You're my girlfriend, right, [Name]?"

It took a lot of willpower to go back to acting composed and unaffected after that certain display of his.

Seriously.

"Yeah. A fake one."

You could swear something changed in his eyes.

Ayato, however, made sure that you can't point it out — how his heart dropped, how the previously present glint in his irises disappeared, how his lips almost displayed a frown with a single statement of yours.

'Did you really have to say that?' he mused.

Fortunately, he was an expert at turning things around. He had a knack for harvesting pleasant outcomes from unfavorable situations.

Ayato was not about to let that one thing ruin his day.

"Ah," he stared back again. "Thank you for mentioning that, [Name]. I almost forgot."

You frowned. "That what? We're fake dating?"

His lips curve to a smirk.

And everytime he does that, you die.

"No. What we were supposed to be doing."

"Huh?"

The man sighed. "Dearest love, you can't have possibly forgotten that we're here to kiss."

"Fuck."

"Hehe."

"Do you want to get on with it now?"

"Yeah, sure, whatever. It's not like it's a big deal anyway."

Liar.

"I've done this plenty of times with my co-leads."

"Oh? I see." You fail to see how his gaze darkened, with how his face was positioned near your ears. "I'm expecting you to be a good kisser then," he whispered.

You braced yourself.

The two of you stared at each other for seconds, with neither of you making a single move.

"When are you going for it?"

"Huh?"

"You're too slow, love. Is it taking you so long to muster up the courage to come and kiss me?"

"What do you mean?! I was waiting for you, you dumb fu—"

A peck on your forehead. Then your left cheek, then the right. Another on your nose. The next one on your chin.

The last one being on the corners of your lips.

'Is he playing with me?!'

He pulled away, grinning like a complete fool. "Ayato!"

"What?" He played innocent.

"Please. Let's just get this over with," you plead.

His gaze remained still on you. In Ayato's eyes, you looked absolutely divine. You with your furrowed brows, pleading eyes, and pouty lips... How could he ever refuse you?

How could he ever resist?

"As the lady wishes."

This time, he was heading for your lips.

But he stopped halfway.

"Motherfu—"

There it was.

His lips tasted like cherries — they felt like them, too.

One...

Two...

Three...

He pulled away by then, with you not being able to get your fill.

It was utterly embarrassing, how your head somewhat chased after his when he distanced himself. Luckily, you were able to control yourself and stopped before he even opened his eyes.

And when they found their way back to yours, his lavender eyes were hazy. Dark and lidded, certainly different from the bright and mischievous ones from just minutes ago.

You were sure you weren't in a better condition either.

The breaths you make are heavy, and so are your eyelids. And your mind?

Blank.

You opened your mouth first. "Ayato, I..."

"Sshh." He placed a finger against your lips. "We're not quite done yet, love. Don't you think so?"

'I can't fucking think.'

You mumbled incoherently at him, confused.

"I believe that first kiss we made... it's not that convincing yet, no?" He breathed.

Ayato made your foreheads touch. "Unless, you don't share the same opinion as mine? If that's the case, then we can stop here, and..." A sigh. "call it a day."

You took a deep breath.

The usual curve of his lips returned as your hands reached around his nape.

"No. I find it unconvincing as well."

privacy — ayato x reader smau

prev. masterlist. next.

NOTES -> not a cliffhanger this time (i think) so that u guys can sleep in peace😌 -> i cannot believe i wrote this (wrote late at night before i slept and i swear my face is heating up) -> my brain is not functioning anymore after writing this -> was listening to 'collide' while writing 👀

TAGLIST I (closed) @catsrkool @sukunasrealgf @redactedhimbo @layla240 @mxlkytea13 @itsactuallylina @milza12 @aixaingela @tatiratty @kimiesstuff @laventiseriou @kunihaver @bibisbestgirl @lunaavity @coquettemaiden @opchara @slvdsjjk @cotton-eee @lady-elodie @dearxiiao @wheneverthesunrise @heartswonder @chuduchok @headphonesrlif3 @lleoll @vnderthesunn @lizzardlady1234 @nekogakuro @rifran @atlatcaheart @ani-st @creammpuff @lunastarjay @kittycasie @poisoned-candy-apples @zannivrs @b0bafl0wer @moonlightaangel @elsoleil

[warblogs17282]

Going from Stolas being a disney princess -> horny Blitz -> the fight -> the next fight next episode -> oh shit i did something bad here for fucks sake -> attempt at apology -> Stolas kinda moving on -> ???

Has really set up the course of the season. In my mind, 2 things can happen.

They don't see each other at all. Stolas avoids Blitz, and Blitz is scared to do anything because he's trying to take Verosika's advice

They see each other far too much. Like they're both everywhere.

Now, both of these have potential... And I think both can lead to a voice messy argument (again) where both finally apologise and they both finally see the others side.

Thanks for the ask I like doing these :)

My prediction is this, it's going to start as 1 and progress into two, when it progresses I'm assuming the last episode, my guesses based on the trailer is that ghostfuckers is the Blitz trauma healing episode, with the line Blitz says overlayed onto the mental breakdown scene (it is not being said in that exact scene) being 'I destroy everything, I make everyone's lives worse.' I believe the leviathan demon (I think it is one anyways) makes Blitz face his traumas by some means, he's already shown to have strong powers (possession, shapeshifting, the painting thing), being forced to face those traumas seen in picture 2 and 3, could possibly lead up to the mental breakdown we see Blitz have in picture 1, or the other way around.

The episode after that I have nothing to really substantiate it but I've always had this theory in the back of my mind that Vassago is going to be more of a mentor/support figure to Stolas, as what Stolas needs more than one night stands is actual friends, what helps better if it's a person that can actually understand Stolas, down to the family he was born into, being the Goetia. Let's be real, the rom-com speech Stolas gave while drunk in apology tour? That's real telling about just how isolated Stolas is from the real world, romance does not work like a rom-com and Stolas needs to learn that asap. Plus Stolitz cannot get back together without Stolas realising his own problems as well. Blitz's butler imps comment in full moon and 'You get off to getting plowed by people you look down on.' the line before the one in the picture. It proves that Stolas has not learned from the night before, and that Stolas is still being accidentally racist to imps, Stolas doesn't know he's doing it but Blitz clearly hears and feels it, which in conjunction with the mess that was the party for Blitz, I'd imagine the most reasonable thing for the both of them to do at this point is go no contact while they learn from their mistakes and problems that prevent Stolitz from truly happening.

Which puts us into the last episode, my guess for it is this, something happens to Stolas beforehand, because there's no way purely Andrealphus set this up on his own, he's a lower rank than Stolas, potential Paimon involvement? Healthy communication happens for a bit, they get interrupted by the attack on Stolas, they somehow fend off the attack, then they continue to talk healthy or just realise how they both messed up hard and be good friends again at the very least. There is that Octavia scene in the trailer as well, maybe she's got something to do with the divorce proceedings and the sudden loss of Stolas' powers, most likely played like a puppet by Stella and Andrealphus, because her one line in the trailer is how her father never loved mother or Octavia (because Stolas cheated on Stella with Blitz), Octavia does not know about much of the abuse Stella gave Stolas, making Stolas seem like the bad guy to Octavia.

So yea that's my theory on where the rest of the season is going to go, starting off at 1 from here out and eventually progressing into 2 around the end. Again thanks for the ask, I enjoyed writing this :)

[endwersed]

WIP Wednesday

Cashing in on the open tag from the amazing @renmackree 💖

Here's a bit more from my current Sterek FWB AU - you don't see me. Derek continues to be straight (ha, sure) and Stiles continues to enable him. A li'l nsfw.

-

“I feel like I should argue, on account of your heterosexuality, and all,” Stiles says, tongue darting out to wet his lips for a second, “but I’m definitely way too horny to be a gentleman right now, so… get your pants off and get over here, Hale.”

Derek doesn’t quite trip and fall into a heap on the floor in his haste to step out of his shorts and briefs – but it’s a pretty near thing.

The clothes leave a dark cotton puddle behind his hurried footsteps, and it’s barely any time at all before he finds himself kneeing his way onto the bed, the soft mattress dipping beneath him as he chases Stiles towards the centre of it. Stiles has this huge, borderline ridiculous grin on his face as he watches Derek catch up to him, his eyes lidded, the brown almost entirely eaten up by the black of his pupils as he looks his fill.

In the mussed-up sheets, his fingers flex and unflex, pulling the fabric between his knuckles as he rolls his bottom lip between his teeth. The inviting smile remains around it.

Without a word needing to pass between them, Stiles leans himself up and rolls himself over, flopping down onto his belly, the round of his perky ass now on full display for Derek’s laser focus. He pulls his legs underneath himself and shoves his shoulders against the bed, presenting himself face down and ass up, his knees shifting apart as he twists his head on the pillow to peer at Derek over his shoulder.

Derek knows he looks more than a little moronic right now; blinking down at Stiles with a gaping mouth, his hand curled tightly around his dick to stroke himself to full hardness – not that it takes much at all. But there’s very little he can do about it when it feels like his brain is threatening to leak out of his ears pretty much any second now.

“Condom?” he just about finds the cells to ask.

Immediately, he kind of really hates himself for even offering in the first place. Truly, he cannot think of something on this godforsaken earth that he wants more than to feel Stiles' tight, hot asshole clinging around his raw cock.

But it's what he should do; it's the right thing to do. So, even as he burns to bite them back, he lets the words spill from his lips just like acid, all the same.

Derek's skin grows hot with a renewed hunger when Stiles gives a quick shake of his head.

“I’m not seeing anyone. Still clean.” He shoves his forearms beneath the pillow he rests his head against, hips hitching just that little bit backwards, still not quite close enough for any skin-to-skin contact. “You?”

Derek feels something settle in the deep recesses of his bones, hearing that from Stiles. A question, unasked but introspectively obsessed upon, all the same, has been nudging at his bristling consciousness ever since Scott and Allison’s engagement party. A question of whether anything had blossomed from Scott practically forcing Stiles to meet that loser Brad.

He knows that they swapped numbers, couldn’t get away from the conversation fast enough to avoid hearing Stiles telling Scott all a-fucking-bout it. But he could never find the right way to ask Stiles whether anything came of that exchange; whether this… thing between them, between Derek and Stiles, had a quickly approaching expiry date, because somebody finally clued up and realised that Stiles is quite possibly the ultimate gay catch.

With a deep-seated sense of tranquility, he knows, now. Stiles isn’t seeing anyone. Stiles is still in this, with him. Stiles is still… his.

Whatever the fuck that means.

“Yeah,” Derek finally answers Stiles’ returned question. “Still clean, too.”

Stiles flashes him a grin, all teeth and promise.

“Then what are you waiting for, big guy?” he goads. “I was ready before you even joined the party.”

-

Low low low pressure tags 🥰 @dear-massacre @eevylynn @hedwig221b @lucky-bishop @violetfairydust

[wannaeatramyeon]

Do you have any nsfw headcannons for Jace?

Jace?? Park??? Well I didn't... (And is this who I think it is. I only know of ONE Jace Park simp)

Jace Park x Reader: NSFW hc

This man. Look at him. He just cannot do casual.

A romantic at heart and loyal to the core, fitting right into Big Deal if he ever were to, Vasco forbid, change crews.

He could be swayed into a friends with benefits, no strings attached arrangement if asked. After all, he is married to Burn Knuckles and you're technically the side-piece.

But it's not his preference and he would absolutely not be able to remain... stringless.

He would never fall into bed with you just because you're cute, your personality has to vibe with his (although who wouldn't vibe with Jace?). Group that together with his silly, weak heart, it's a recipe for disaster.

No way would he be able to keep himself from developing feelings.

Shy at first, wanting his first time (whether that's with you or in general) to be special. Puts your own comfort and pleasure above his own. Wanting to find out everything about your body and what makes you gasp and pant and scream.

Definitely prefers giving rather than receiving. There's nothing more rewarding than him discovering what buttons to press, and then pressing them every single time. Multiple times. Especially when your thighs clamp around his head, and you're pulling on his hair.

Sure he wouldn't say no to a blow job but Jace will always return the favour.

Quite vanilla with his tastes, though what's wrong with vanilla anyway. Do you know how delicious and intricate the taste of GOOD vanilla is?

If you have some crazy kinks, look elsewhere. Anything mild he would give it a go if that's what you're into.

But if you want to feel satisfied. Really, truly satisfied. Inside and out, leaving your body wrecked and your heart full, then Jace is a goddamn master.

Loves nothing more than going down on you until you're a quivering and wet mess. Watching your face as he slides into you. Eye contact when he's fucking you. Holding your hand as you cum. Loves the intimacy of cumming inside you, if you'd let him.

Yeah, you bet with Jace this is the best goddamn vanilla on earth.

Did you not read that Jace puts your comfort above his own? Aftercare? Whatever you fucking want babe. Kisses, cuddles, water. You want him to run to the other side of town and pick up a snack from that special place you like to enjoy in the afterglow? Just say the word.

In fact, you wanna chill afterwards with him and watch a film or go out for dinner? He would be de-fucking-lighted.

Sigh. This guy really isn't cut out for casual. Definitely don't sign up if that's all you're after. And if you do become FWB? You better treat him right and not break his heart.

.... And just throwing it out there, with all his new ear piercings. He might have had some other parts pierced too.

[astrologicalsstuff]

12th house synastry oh my lord…

I’m not going to say that it’s doomed because it’s far from that this can make for some really successful marriages but it definitely takes work. All 12th house synastry is like surrendering, you have to be okay with undefined answers, with sacrifice and with humility. The house person definitely feels it more but that’s not without saying the planet person doesn’t feel it. This is the house of Pisces so boundaries (or lack thereof) are at play here. 12th house synastry is like, I don’t know where you end and I begin. This person could make you want to give them everything and anything like their happiness is your happiness if you can’t handle that thought you will struggle. This is “the one that got away” or “until next time scenario. Stellium are like everything in the world is pulling us together while keeping us apart. It’s all about timing but the time is never right. This person wil show you parts of yourself you thought you forgot or even suppressed. They know you without noticing it sometimes. They know exactly what to say to trigger you. Water signs work best here because it is all about nurturing the subconscious. Scorpio is probably very intense unless you have planets Nataly.

Story time:

The first guy I ever got with had cancer 12th house and I had 3 planets in his 12th🫣. To top it off the planets were sun mars and Jupiter all fire😭😭😭. When I met him he walked in like a movie scene and I just knew he was going to be significant to me. I have never felt this way with anyone else it was one of the slow-mo hair blowing in the wind moments truly unreal. We spent the day together even went to go see a movie (12th house nature) he introduced me to drugs(12th house fantasy nature) We didn’t see eachother for 6 months because we had no mutuals and then one of my friends came to town wanted to hangout with some random guy who we knew from highschool and when he left us he met up with some friends who were nearby and I saw him again. We kept running into each-other never got his contact info but ran into eachother anywhere and everywhere. Eventually I got his info and we began to see eachother but we never dated. He had two houses both next door to my closest friends in high school (this was so crazy because I went home with one of those friends that first night meeting him and thought to myself: he could be anywhere in the world, and he was probably next door) everything felt fated in some way but I think I was just delusional. I’m still confused about it tbh. I definitely had feelings for him but felt like I couldn’t tell him for some reason. Looking back at it I think things would’ve been better if I did but he just made me so nervous. We never dated but he was all of my firsts and I used to be able to feel whenever he got with smone else and it would come out later that he was getting with other people. (We were never exclusive and I asked for that) but things just kept getting harder and I felt like I couldn’t talk to him at all. He was more than comforting and kind and sensitive to my needs but he started apologizing all the time for things I didn’t care about and I responded in ways I cannot even begin to understand. Honestly 12th house synastry is so much confusion. He ghosted me tho after a year and before he left he said he wanted to be friends and continue fucking. Whatever the fuck that means because that’s kinda what we were doing anyway and then disappeared. He deleted all social media, and it was like he never existed. Honestly I talk about how much he fucked me up but I really do think he taught me a lot of good lessons as well. we were on and off a lot for that year, but something always brought us back together and it was always something super random. One time I was hanging out with a random guy and he was sending snapchats to people and I skated behind him to photobomb and he sent it and I saw the bitmoji and knew it was him. And he texted me again after that. I went from having no mutuals with this guy to every single person tying back to him. One time we ended and I went to a fair I went to every year since I was a kid and my friend met up with her friend there and her friend was friends with his entire friend group he was basically unavoidable. Dreams are also a big part of 12th house synastry. I haven’t stopped dreaming about him even when I have other partners sometimes he’ll be in my dreams. I ran into him again though a couple months ago and I still couldn’t talk to him but I know that encounter had to be fate because I really didn’t want to go to that show that night and everyone kept telling me for weeks to go but I wanted to do something else I lost my ID the NIGHT before so all the things I wanted to go to I couldn’t, and two hours before the show my friend cancelled on me and insisted I use her tickets to go to the show I was so set on not going to but I had nothing better to do and she didn’t want to waste her money. SO I WENT AND WAITED OUTSIDE FOR ANOTHER FRIEND AND HE FUCKING WALKED BY. After three years of radio silence we’re adults now so I figured he’d be away at college or something. 12 house in synastry is the good the bad and the ugly.  despite how undeniably toxic that relationship was and how much he hurt me I wish nothing but the best for him.









[constelationprize]

Okay so I wasn't going to post about this because there is a kind of person I don't want to attract to this blog and I have so blessedly few followers it might not even matter but. It's been driving me insane for days.

You guys know we can't hold people accountable on information they don't know, right?

I've seen this said in two contexts: Kevin and Thea (and the other Ravens) in regards to Jean, and Nicky and Aaron in regards to Andrew.

I won't elaborate much on Jean because TSC2 is yet to be released and I expect this to be expanded upon there, but I'm going to point out a few things: there is no proof that the Ravens at large knew exactly how old Jean was (I do not personally looked that different between 16 and 18), which is a shit excuse, but is compounded by: the Ravens are a cult with a dog-eat-dog mentality. No one there had the time or the will to think "well let's consider the ethics of this situation" because they were all locked in the fucking Torment Nexus. Riko deliberately packaged Jean and the circumstances of his SA so that it would further alienate him from the rest of the team. He was offered to them as a scapegoat and even if a single person there thought the situation looked iffy, they were not in an environment that allowed people in power to be questioned, and so no one was going to look their captain and head coach in the eye and say "hmm actually Mister Moriyama I think you're wrong". They accepted the version of events that Riko and the defensemen he picked told because they were the loudest voices and because an easy lie is so much better to hear than an ugly truth. Yes they are complicit for not seeing the red flags and cowards for not standing up if they did, this does not mean that their actions were senseless or purely out of some inherent moral cruelty.

But most of all: none of them saw a need to defend Jean because JEAN never defended HIMSELF. And yes, WE THE AUDIENCE know why that was, but you cannot expect everyone to. Jeremy knew, because he was outside of the situation and already looking for signs of abuse in Jean.

So, while I don't LOVE how Thea seems to have reacted to Jean's assault, I understand why she did it. (And if Nora hadn't been bullied off of writing her, I would have loved to see her come to terms with how she played a part in the abuse of someone she clearly cares about). As for Kevin, Jean himself says he did his best to not let him know the full truth of the situation, and for other reasons I have my theories, but I will just sit back and let TSC2 prove me right on this one.

Now, about Andrew. It fucking baffles me how anyone can interpret Nicky and Aaron as deliberately malicious toward Andrew for no reason when they have made sacrifices to stand by his side for no reward at all.

Aaron's first contact with Andrew is a hopeful letter he wrote as an abused child longing for love and connection, which Andrew just threw back in his face. When Andrew is in juvie, Aaron tries AGAIN, even though he had no reason to believe it would work, and for all intents and purposes it looks like it doesn't change a thing when Andrew moves in with him! He is cold and cruel and distant and he kills Aaron's mother and buys a sports car with the life insurance money. Can you really blame Aaron for believing Andrew's motives are petty when Andrew himself goes out of his way to pretend they are? He bought a car. With the life insurance. Of the woman he murdered in a car accident.

What is more likely: that the brother with a history of violence who has pushed you away at every try killed your mother as revenge for her abandoning him? Or that he did it to be the first person to ever keep a promise to protect you?

And even after that, when Aaron truly believes that Andrew does not and cannot care about him, he makes a second deal to keep Andrew in his life. And then renovates it through college. He can't hold a single conversation with Andrew and he still won't let him go. Aaron reaches for Andrew in the only form he knows that Andrew will reach back even as he tells himself that it's for nothing.

I won't even talk about Nicky because that man left his only chance at happiness behind in a heartbeat to care for two teenagers who were all but strangers to him just because he (correctly) believed no one else would.

It's so crazy to look at this story, a tragedy about how the Minyard-Hemmick children were so systematically failed by the adults in their lives that they were subjected to horrible abuse, and the consequences of that made it so they had incompatible coping methods that stood in the way of them being capable of understanding each other, and those misunderstandings only drove them apart even as they were holding onto each other for dear life, and ask: Oh but why didn't they notice Andrew's trauma? :(

Bitch they tried!!!!! But at the point that Andrew even met Aaron and Nicky, he was past believing that the truth would make a difference, so he didn't even try to tell them; rather, as Nicky says multiple times, he did his best to push them away and make them believe there was nothing behind his attitude other than cruelty. And they still stood by him ANYWAY. Not even Neil, who has more context than both of them, figures out the truth of what Andrew went though until the literal last minute. Because Andrew, and repeat this with me, didn't want them to know, and they were not fucking mind readers.

It is so naive to believe that every single person who struggles does so openly; or even that if they do, that they'll accept help just because you, who Knows and Fixes everything, offered it. Be so for real. If there is one thing AFTG does well is portray realistic trauma responses and how people from the outside perceive them. Try to learn something from that, or if you don't want to, at least try not to publicly put your foot in your mouth so much.

[stanley-cryptid-co]

Part 1 Headcanons for MySt: Ro'Meaves

Headcanons for MyStreet So I fucking love giving these guys headcanons, and I was originally just going to do all of my favorite neglected blorbs, but I decided to split it up into people that hang out/family. So first up is the Ro'Meaves and their problems. Vylad is travelling the world rn, good for him. He comes home every once in a while and when he does, Garroth bursts into tears because the last time he saw him was two Christmases ago and he can't stand the thought of Vylad leaving again. Vylad feels uber guilty about staying over at his brothers' places, so he decides to sleep on the streets half of the time. Sometimes the Shadow Knights (household) finds him and takes him in for the night. Zane, being on neighborhood watch, sometimes finds him too. Vylad went no-contact with his parents a long time ago, but he has tried to go no-contact with Garroth and Zane, but he continues to message them back when his phone is on. He has stayed in many homes across the world and kinda considers the Shadow Knight household to be his "American Home". He doesn't want to settle down because he doesn't feel as if he belongs somewhere. Zane doesn't feel like he needs to connect with Vylad or Garroth because he constantly was ignored and thought he was going to fail from the beginning. His mom really does love him and tries to support him, but Zane cannot stand the "I support you, but" from her. He cut off Garte a long time ago, because he never truly loved him as a son. Zane also does hang out with Laurance, but it's only to go to Pride and watch Drag Race or other Drag related things. Laurance is a Drag queen, so Zane goes to a few of his gigs here and there. Zane is a witch, who he works with if anyone, I'm not exactly sure, but maybe Loki? He knows he won't ever be a witch like Lucinda, but she's a great help when she's awake-- Although Zane says he hates Garroth, and to a degree he does, at the end he does care for him. He has a hard time accepting Vylad, especially when Vylad isn't around half of the time. Zane is also the only one who knows that Aaron is a gorgon. Garroth is trans, and his parents only accepted him because it would give Garte a first born son. Garroth has kept this fact hidden from everyone on the street aside from Zane (bc they're brothers? He would know). He decided that he didn't want to deal with being apart of the LGBTQ community when he was young, so he just pretended his feelings about sexuality didn't exist. He continues to push off Laurance and his advances because he doesn't want to admit to his parents that he might not be the straightest man in the world. When he got top surgery, he had to ask Zane to pick him up because he forgot to ask someone else and he didn't want to get found out, so out of whatever kindness Zane has in his heart, he picked up his loopy-ass brother and took him home and took care of him. Garroth is the only one of the brothers that actually tries to care about his parents, but he knows that some day he will probably have to let them go. All of the brothers went to a private school for a long while, eventually were homeschooled for a bit, and finally when they all reached Freshman level education, they could choose to go a public school, private, or continued to be homeschooled. When they all had the chance, they went to a public school. The three of them never really knew anyone else in childhood, so when Garroth and Zane went to FalconClaw University, Garroth tried to make them both as many friends as they could and also reconnect with the few people they met in Highschool.

[stevie-petey]

okie here is my chapter 8 thoughts dump this is so long i'm SORRY

the way you write action is crazy good. like i was reading the whole first part as if i’d never seen it coming like i haven’t watched the episode a million times. 

murray x bug banter is kind of everything LOL the dynamic is so hilarious & same for erica. i can totally see bug and erica getting way closer of a dynamic next season (hopefully because i love that girl fr🤞🏼)

the way i'm crying at the hopper x bug farewell… like obviously i knew it was coming but… wow. i love how your cancer sun 100% influences your writing because miss bug is a cancer if i’ve ever seen one. like girl just feels emotions so deeply AND SHE’S SO ME FOR THAT

STEVE HAND ON THIGH WHILE DRIVING ENTHUSIAST that got me so good i was melting u have no idea i think him doing that to me would heal me a bit

i just love the robin x bug x steve dynamic SOSOSOSO MUCH!!! i literally cannot wait for more of it in season 4 because it’s just so excellent. i can’t wait for the first season 4 chapter when all 3 of them have had months to establish their friendships/relationships so that when we see them in the first chapter back we’ll see a glimpse of their new stasis (until everything inevitably goes to shit again)

STEVE BEE VS JON’S HONEY I’MMMMMMM that got me so good i was giggling kicking my feet

I’M SO GLAD YOU WROTE BUG SINGING ALONG TO NEVER ENDING STORY because that would have LITERALLY been me in that sitch like come awn guys the world is literally ending a monster is chasing us lets have a moment where we just sing and pretend everything is happy PLEASE ugh and i also just KNOW steve was sitting there with the goofiest love sick smile admiring miss bug AS HE SHOULD because he is just enamored by any and everything she does

the billy scene is truly one of the most well-written things i’ve ever read. the way you write guilt but also grief going hand in hand is so beautifully painful. jonathan and steve both comforting her got me so emotional because they both know her so well to know she is going to carry the guilt of this so heavily and it makes me so :((((((( oh god and the double whammy with hopper right after billy was like a knife to the heart (in the best way) like by this point i was fully in tears. this whole sequence of billy’s death has me WORRIED tho bc of eddie’s fate in s4. i know they probably won’t be the best of friends right off the bat, for good reason, however seeing dustin have to go through the trauma somewhat similar and somewhat not to what bug just went through with billy is going to tear me UP inside. miss bug is in empath and it truly worries me how she will internalize eddie’s death/dustin’s grief. though i am glad steve will be there to comfort both of them (hoping steve and bug stay together PLEASE LET THEM STAY TOGETHER) 

i’m so glad mrs. waters is doing well i love that woman and want to protect her with my LIFE✋🏼

THE CHARM BRACELET omg bug needed this so bad. i literally can’t say anything else about that scene because truly it had me at a loss for words. SPEECHLESS TRULY

this whole ending fucked me UP ! i’m so sad we only got a small glimpse of el x bug x max because i love the sisterly dynamic they all have :((( though i am so extremely excited to see max & bug’s friendship shape because of the ~trauma bond~.

i am so curious to see how and if jon stays in contact with bug. i’m wondering if it’s going to be a situation where bug and jonathan actually do stay in touch while he shuts nancy out causing tension, or if poor jon shuts everyone out including bug. i also wonder what bug’s emotions will be when jon doesn’t come and visit hawkins during s4. GAH i just have so many thoughts surrounding s4 and i’m so excited to see how you write it!! i have absolutely no doubts in my mind that you’re going to make it absolutely perfect, whichever direction you chose to take it. you have a crazy awesome gift and i know whatever you write will have me in shambles in the best way ok that's all sorry for rambling luv u have a good nite bestie

xoxo, s <3

okay first im SO happy u love how i write action because it genuinely makes me want to die every time. i always feel so awkward and stilted writing it so its a relief you think otherwise <333

and the murray banter truly wasnt planned like bug just naturally hated the mans. it was perfect. and her goodbye with hopper :((( and ur so right bug IS 10000% a cancer baby like me, its why i made her bday july 3rd because it just felt so right. shes the most cancer cancer to ever cancer lmao

steve and jon fighting over honey and bee had me GIGGLIN it was a throwaway line but i simply had to add it. they would fight over it and it felt right. even while bickering, they still shared a soft smile when bug started singing because thats their girl !!!

the billy scene </3 it hurt. he isnt my favorite character, i dont agree that he had a "redemption" arc per say, but i truly do pity his character. he never had a chance to become good. i think we all deserve to at least have the chance to choose good. billys choice was stripped away from him, so bug understanding this makes it all the more painful.

as for how billy will affect bug season 4 and eddie being introduced ,,, oh just u WAIT !!! and we'll see more max and bug in season 4, theyre gonna go through some wild rides together lmao

[charmixpower]

@shiningclown69 I just realized I never made a post about any post s1 Briven things??? Crime on my part, truly

Season 2 Briven let's fucking goooooo!!!!

After the Battle of Magix Brandon is very reluctant to leave Riven after the whole jumping off of a building after learning his first real relationship was a lie with extenuating monster circumstances, and the hatred and resentment Brandon KNOWS most of the other specialists are feeling after seeing Riven and Darcy but he literally has to go because of his job but he is NOT happy about it

Erendor bitching about Riven being a terrible influence on Sky and Brandon smiling and nodding while trying not to strangle him

Riven stays on Magix after the battle, primarily because there would be nothing worse than talking to his family after all of that, and Brandon sends him good morning texts even though they're in different planetary timezones

Riven: *having the worst dissociative episode of his life*

Brandon: Goodnight on Magix <3

Riven: I guess life is worth living

I think Brandon would be an amazing texter, he talks about his day, responds regularly and consistently, and that also makes the Darcy reveal easier on Riven

Musa is all up in their business like you cannot imagine. Musa only goes home to Melody for a little bit during the summer before going back to Alfea (she managed to convince her dad it's cheaper and she can get some community service) and whenever she sees Riven she's all like "ooooo what did Brandon send you??" Like at least a solid half of Riven's texts back to Brandon are co written by Musa and it's so obvious neither of them know what their doing

It's okay tho bc Brandon thinks it's adorable and is so happy that Riven is making friends that aren't him. Like half way though summer he starts including things for Musa because he's well aware she's reading all of their texts

Eventually Helia comes back to RF and accidentally runs into Musa who has Riven with her and they chat a bit. Like they're not close and neither Musa or Riven think to mention it to Brandon but Helia has already decided when school starts again he's going to personally protect Riven from anyone who tries to bully him

I can't believe that Brandon is Sky's only body guard in their age group, like if Eraklyon has child soldiers there's probably more than one, so Adrian is trying to figure out who the fuck Brandon is texting and why Sky is bitching about it and Brandon is making a game out of playing keep away

Please note that this entire time Sky is like "dear god Brandon out of everyone on Magix, why him????". Poor guy is like pre exhausted of this entire situation. He's happy for Brandon he promises, but also he's dying. "Why him? Why that one? You could date anyone who likes men and you picked that one. Brandon why?" He is not doing good

When school starts again Riven is all like "hi...<3?" And Brandon thinks it's cute that is ALL

Then Helia and Brandon mert and make eye contact with each other from across the room

Helia: Well Riven doesn't have parents that I respect so you have to impress me and Saladin instead

Musa: me too

Helia: Musa too

Brandon: you literally only met Riven over the summer

Helia: irrelevant, what are your intentions with my son

Brandon: I appreciate that someone is looking out for Riven but MOVE

This gets worse after Helia and Flora start dating, what are your intentions with their son?? Sky is having an aneurysm in the other room. It's fine, everything is fine

Bonus points is Stella giving Riven shovel talk both before they break for summer and after they get back just to make sure it sinks in, no one knows she did this because Riven is too scared of her to snitch. I just need to let you know it happened

Brandon's coworkers also take a looksie at Riven but they're trained spys so it's more stalking over shovel talk. Riven brushes it off as him being paranoid but Brandon definitely notices and gently tells them off. Normal child soldier behavior over here

Sky wants to give the shovel talk but Brandon looks at him with the neutral look of displeasure whenever he even mentions it

(Riven is kinda in tears about how much Musa, Helia, and Flora care about him. He just got something in his eye, it's okay, everything is okay)

Brandon and Riven cuddle after the news of the Trix breaking out of light rock hits the news and it's cute

Riven watching Sky and Brandon go off on a mission to infiltrate a devil bird's lair without magic to fall back on: this is fine, I'm fine, I'm not sick with worry at all

Riven was brooding in the Winx's dorm without Musa so I'm just assuming Flora let him in, she makes him tea while he worries about Brandon. Musa eventually joins bc the cute girl she just met is already going on another dangerous mission and what the fuck!!!

Brandon doesn't mention the Amentia nonsense to Riven aside from "I was kidnapped into a arranged marriage.", Riven ends up hearing about it from Chatta

Riven: if you ever wanna go back to fight her I'm always down

Brandon: aw that is so sweet of you <3, I would rather die than see that woman again

Riven: understandable have a nice day

Brandon tells Riven about the stupid shit Sky is getting up to and they BOTH rag on Sky for being in the tree and being creepy, getting Timmy and Helia to join in, but unfortunately for Brandon, Riven strongly agrees that Avalon is so fucking creepy

On one hand Riven and Sky are holding a civil conversation, on the other hand its because they're planning a murder of the new Alfea teacher

Brandon watching Helia and Flora talk knowing he's gonna have to deal with MORE people meddling in his relationship: (⁠눈⁠‸⁠눈⁠)

Riven watching Brandon flirt back with everyone who flirts with him: don't be jealous don't be jealous don't be jealous don't be jealous don't be jealous don't be jealous don't be jealous don't be jealous don't be jealous don't be jealous don't be jealous don't be jealous don't be jealous don't be jealous

Brandon tones it down bc he knows his bf is insecure but he physically cannot stop the manwhore behavior, it's an important part of him

Riven getting freaked out bc he's SO sure he can sense Darcy and no one believing him except the squad while they drag him to Saladin to warn him

People are kinda pissed that Sky and Riven shucked the match at first and Brandon bodily shoves them out of his way godbless

When Timmy goes to Brandon for relationship advice Riven is there and asks Musa for advice on Timmy's behalf, and it's STILL horrible. Sorry there is not a single brain cell between them Timmy you are not getting any help with your love life

Flora: anyways now Tecna is on the Avalon is evil train and we think she has a point

Riven: VINDICATION. I'll text Sky

Brandon, who took the phone out of Riven's hand: I understand what your all talking about, but please make a real plan. don't just rush in and attack him

Flora, watching Tecna rush in and attack him: too late

Brandon's time with his boyfriend keeps getting interrupted by Sky bitching to Riven about Avalon, he's almost impressed with Sky's inability to read the room

Riven doesn't try to set Musa up with Jared bc she has a thing for Aisha, but does accidentally talk her up to Jared in a way that sounds like it and doesn't realize until Brandon tells him how Jared is likely gonna take it and Riven immediately starts sending Musa apology texts

Musa and Aisha get together and Riven spends an hour trying to figure out what the fuck Musa's texts mean

Riven is not pouting that his best friend's girlfriend dislikes his boyfriend, he is not bothered by that at all, he is a bastion of composure (it makes him just a little sad)

Brandon watching the mess that is Sky trying to introduce Bloom to his parents and Erendor and Samara intentionally letting Diaspro stay kidnapped to make Sky save her: I am so never even breathing a word about my boyfriend in this palace

Riven getting two texts at 3am. One from Musa with a selfie of her beaten up with the caption "kicked Stormy's ass let's go!!!" And one from Flora asking Riven if Brandon ever mentioned his time being held hostage. He wakes up so fucking fast

Riven cheering for Brandon and his fire stick dance, like that's my boyfriend everyone clap or die

Brandon in the back after his part in the talent show getting a bunch of videos of Musa and Stella singing: <3

Brandon when the texts suddenly stop: ???? Everything good?

Riven: sorry, Stormy's gone now

Brandon: ?????Stormy??????

Riven: *sends another video of Musa, now singing in her magic form*

Brandon watching Riven forcefully stop himself from being insane and competitive with Sky to board next to Brandon. It only lasts like a few minutes

They all go camping!!! Fun times in the wilderness and by that I mean Sky is physically sitting in-between them because they won't stop flirting and it's getting on his nerves, they are banned from sharing a tent. Riven isn't super huge on pda but Brandon is. I would say everyone is sick of them but Stella and Bloom haven't stopped making out since they got here so

Listen Riven literally specializes in wilderness survival, it's literally his consecration. Watching his boyfriend get excited about plants with Flora is CUTE and Brandon will not apologize for kissing his boyfriend when he's cute

Riven gets really cagey about running off and Musa is like "what's wrong?" And he lashes out :(, Brandon and her have a little chat about him and then Riven comes back like "THE TRIX ARE HERE EVERYONE PANIC!!!"

Their conversation is different bc they've almost swapped roles but I think Musa and Brandon making eye contact whenever Riven does something™ is really funny and good

When Helia shows up in the ship he and Brandon look at each other and Brandon just knows Helia is trying to figure out what is the funniest joke to make about the situation, and then the "me too!" Thing happens and Brandon will NEVER let him live it down

Riven sacrificing himself for Musa still happens, they are besties, and Brandon literally can't move during this so that's fun for him (it's literally only his training that keeps him from panicking out his fucking mind)

Musa, Brandon, Flora, and Helia all in a cuddle pile in a hospital room watching Riven's heart monitor

Of course there's a cute reunion and kiss when Riven wakes up and also "never do that dumb shit again, your not allowed to get hurt next year I need a break from being worried if your going to make it or not" and Riven is like (⁠@⁠_⁠@⁠)

Brandon is dragged back to Eraklyon and he's even more mad about it this time

Riven texts more often bc he misses Brandon so much, and Brandon sends gifts IF YOU EVEN CARE

That's my thoughts on s2 Briven, tune in next time for s3 Briven where I try not to get distracted by Stella instead of Musa and Flora like this time XD

[that-gay-jedi]

I know they already can't even meet the bar of understanding usable hours but I wish the healthcare system, my work, insurance, and the government understood that even my usable hours aren't quite as usable as a nondisabled person's tbh.

Like if we set a benchmark of a healthy person at their physical and mental best performing a task as 100, with 110 being slightly too much effort, 125 being dangerously overexerting yourself and 150 being Icarus just felt the wax re-melt, then me performing the same task at my best is never above like 90-95 bc there's a portion of my focus is that is distracted for as long as I'm in pain (which barring a miracle is gonna be the rest of my life) and a portion of my patience and endurance my brain will always have to spend on coping, and a portion of physical energy my body will always have to spend on surviving the adverse conditions chronic illness creates, and there's literally no amount of motivation, treatment, good work habits nor anything else on this earth that's ever going to change that because I'm not holding anything back, I'm giving everything I have and everything I have is 90% of what that guy over at the next desk has.

And like, from the way the people who are my contacts from these systems talk to me I know the immediate response is "So overdo it slightly and get that 100 from where a healthy person would get 110" but that only works for a day. If I try to give the equivalent of 110 daily then the 90 I can offer at my best goes down to like 65 by day 3 and it's only downhill from there. Even if I put my work before literally everything to the point that I'd be proud to be found dead in my office chair if it meant taking one more call, you'd only be able to get at maximum maybe 2-3 weeks out of me before I had truly and absolutely nothing left to give anyone, including myself, ever again.

In effect, my employer simply cannot extract the same amount of value-for-labour out of me as from other people because my laundry list of medical problems already extracted some. In perpetuity. No stick, no carrot, no gun to my head, no amount of biopsychosocial clear cutting or strip mining is ever going to change that. Can't take what isn't there.

I've long since accepted what I can and cannot do (what other choice do I have? I can't hate myself into being magically cured, and frankly I wouldn't if I could. I refuse to hate myself for anyone or anything ever again), but the work mindset the people I have to interact with from these systems subscribe to is incapable of accepting anything gracefully. What do you mean you're not going to get better? Sounds like you're just not doing everything you possibly can (surely there has to be some rabbit you can pull out of a hat if we just make you desperate enough). What do you mean you can't give 110% every day? What do you mean there are consequences?

To try to get everything out of me when I don't even have all of it is a form of magical thinking, it's blood from a stone, and yet these motherfuckers are so completely convinced. If capitalism is a church, they're the preacher who tells you the reason you still need your mobility aid(s) is that you're not praying hard enough. Reality isn't real to them, greed and toxic positivity are all they understand.

And I don't fucking know how to get through to these people who unfortunately, through an interconnected series of bureaucracies and policies, hold my future in their hands. I don't know how to make them understand it when they're so determined not to.

[skiplo-wave]

Sorry this is gonna be long one!

I have my doubts that they are truly going to get justice for Abby and Libby. They haven't even solved the Flora Fire case either. I do believe Richard Allen is involved in the mix but based off his charges there has to be more.

There was more probable cause to arrest Ron Logan, the owner of that property they found the girls on. He was caught making an alibi BEFORE THE GIRLS WENT MISSING. If that's not a red flag, I don't know what is and that's not the only thing either. I can be fair and say that maybe he went out on his property that day and discovered them and maybe he panicked, thinking he would get blamed? We won't get a real answer to that because Ron has now passed. But it took them about a month to search his property. They thought because of his age, that he couldn't do anything like that. The investigators had to of been newbies at the time.

Then you have Kegan Kline who was the last person (supposedly) that had contact with the girls right before they was killed. He was suppose to meet them. That's probable cause right there. There was an incident with the account again when they was suppose to meetup with an underage girl and a guy in a mask showed up looking through the window. According to the transcript, they believe someone else had control of that account too. But it's worth mentioning that investigators can lie. so they could be thinking it was him the whole time.

There is a lot of negligence when they was handling this case. Richard Allen came to them and told them he was there. He told them what he was wearing. However, we got two different descriptions of two males and what they was wearing from what was filmed on the bridge. This officer, his name is Dan Dulin, interviewed this mf. They had this the whole fucking time and somehow missed it all these years. And not only that, he put Richard Allen's name in the system as "Rick Allen Whiteman"..... They had his name wrong. WTF!? This is unacceptable. Now you got this Sons of Odin biker gang stuff which is bizarre and shocking because this was discussed over a year ago before Richard was arrested. I have never seen such a crazy defense filing like this. I guess there was an investigation a while back but one of the guys is dead now. I don't know what they found in regards to the Odin ritual stuff. They better hope they got the right person, which I believe they do, because if Richard Allen turns out to be innocent and just a guy who struggles with mental health issues whom happen to be there wearing the same thing as bridge guy in the video, it was just coincidence like maybe all this Kegan Kline stuff... They are gonna have a serious lawsuit on their hands and it's going to throw a wrench in the case if they ever do catch the real person. And to be fair again, a lot of guys in the Midwest wears navy blue jackets, blue jeans and boots like that. Even the very first news interview they did with Ron Logan... He was wearing a navy blue jacket and blue jeans. Again, I believe it is Richard Allen but something just not right. Unless it comes out, I cannot accept that this dude did it by himself.

Here's where it all comes down too.

From what we got in yesterdays filing, they don't have DNA to link him to the crime far as we know. A bullet is not enough. You can link a bullet to a gun but from my understanding if the bullet had NOTHING to do with how they died, he can't be charged for that. The question is how did it get there but they can't hold him. He doesn't have to say anything. They can't use "Well, he admitted he was there at the bridge", yes, but Kegan or who ever had control of that account also admitted that he was suppose to meet them. Then you have another guy creating an alibi before it ever even came out that the girls was missing. What are the odds of these coincidences.

Something ain't right.

The whole case is wild

[taeyungie]

em, well.. he called me today. the irony of it all is apparently when i was talking w/ that 1 guy after my ex years ago, i only told him cus he asked me out & i apparently said he didnt need to know that stuff and i dont remember ever saying that but he said he was hurt/caught off guard & therefore never shared any of his personal relations with me. i think i blacked those yrs out. i went thru a very bad & messy breakup and wanted a distraction, i don't remember him ever asking me out then but he said he remembered very well. i feel so fucking stupid. this basically all happened bc of me. and u were right, he said he /always/ had those feelings even after my ex but i felt they weren't there... so i never attempted anything until i built up our relationship again which is how it is now. but, the real kicker is.. i told him that i didnt want to be put in a position where if he was serious about me, that he'd talk to other ppl, but he said im basically asking for commitment and he cant give that to me unless i show that i'm willing to let him come see me or vice versa (which i just need more time for), until then, he's not going to tell me if he's messing with anyone but he said if things do get serious with someone, then he'll let me know to not lead me on. thats not what i wanted to hear. basically he's open to whatever happens with whoever, even if he cares deeply about me, but he cant promise to not talk to other ppl and i know its selfish, i just wanted him to wait for me, esp after all this time with trying and failing with wrong timings. the way he said "IF i get into a relationship, i'll tell u" gets me cause i'll only know if he makes it official, he said thats how its gonna be. and i honestly feel like i'll end up pushing him away cus the reality of that being possible hurts too much. he said he'll just have to accept it then. but even after talking i still feel as lost. i feel sad, ashamed i said those things i truly don't remember. but now i'm confused with my feelings. i know this is going to change everything. i can already feel myself wanting to pull away emotionally & put the guard i barely let down back up 😣

i am sorry sunshine :( but i'm really happy that you guys had the talk, you need to stay in contact with him no matter what, the silence can be the worst thing to do right now, so please try your best not to become closed off. the fact that you're both so hurt by this situation is so visible, my heart is breaking. although i really do understand both of you, and he is clear about what he expects and it's in your hands to decide what to do with it 🥺 you know... you have to understand that he is just trying to be happy too, just like we all do. it doesn't mean he only cares about himself, he was there for you through the bad times and he did wait for you, honey, but the thing happened years ago and he might be just tired of waiting, he just wants to find happiness and love too... i'm pretty sure he's probably just as hurt and confused by this situation as you are, but he cares about you and he wants to be with you, but maybe he cannot handle long-distance relationship, maybe he is tired of waiting, maybe there are other reasons he doesn't want to share because it's hurting him too much at this point, yeah? he probably started closing up on you because of that as well, that's why he stated his feelings in such harsh way. he probably doesn't mean to hurt you at all, he is just trying to protect himself.

so please, don't get me wrong, i may not be giving you the best advice or making you feel better which i'm really sorry for :( but i want to stay objective because the situation is tough, and help you understand how to deal with it, to look at your situation in a different light. I'm trying to guess what can be the issue and what you guys are going through, nothing I say is 100% right because I don't know the exact details and I will never know how exactly each of you is feeling. but what i know for sure is that one can stay strong for long enough, sweetheart :(

i understand that you might have blocked out the memories because of traumatic past and that is completely valid and I'm really sorry for what you went through, you deserve the best of love and care :( it's something he should be understanding about especially that he asked you out when you were still in pain, you probably weren't ready for something serious and i will allow myself to guess the guy you talked with was not considered as something you were serious about, right? you probably hoped for it, looked for it, but deep inside you probably might've been looking for a distraction, something to make you feel better, right? and since he was your best friend it was a different situation, although he probably chose to ask in a bad moment, he shouldn't blame you entirely for that and now act like it's all your fault, but i also understand why he was caught off guard and hurt by that, he was angry and jealous, he wanted to be with you and realizing you didn't choose him was probably very painful, although now he might feel like you realized you have feelings for him because you have no other options, and he wants you a strong and secure feeling from you to feel safe in it, but please don't get upset with my words, let me tell you something first, love.

Let me tell you a story, I myself also went through a similar thing and i also had to deny my best friend a long time ago, because of other reasons but one of the main ones was long distance, i never loved him but i cared for him that's another difference because your friend actually HAS feelings for you, but i know how my friend has felt when i kept explaining him why we can't be together, it made me feel terrible. yet, his feelings for me didn't lessen apparently, and to this day, sometimes, he still implies that his crush on me never went away. but in the meantime he was in many other relationships, serious ones and purely physical ones, while also not telling me much, i probably don't know about a lot but it's his life and not my business - my point is that, he also tried to be happy even while still actively hoping i would give him a chance, because he cares for me more than he does for the people he dated (but again in my story it didn't affect me because i never loved him that way). now picture yourself in our situation, he actually does love you but you guys can't be together right now because of some reasons, and he probably isn't feeling confident about your feelings for him because of the past events, which is why he asks you for "100% yes" or "100% no" right now. unless you give him an answer he waited for for a long time, he has the right to try and look for happiness elsewhere and not involve you in it, he might not be comfortable with sharing that he is having flings with others with someone he actually loves, simply because he doesn't want to hurt you, but it's just natural that he is looking for distractions, he is not looking for someone to replace you but he's also clearly not sure of your feelings for him, do you know what i mean now? he doesn't want the past to repeat, when he already waited for a long time, maybe tried to move on even. i know you don't want him to treat you like a 2nd choice and what i just said might look exactly like he's doing it but i personally don't see it that way, that REALLY is not the case, in my opinion it's the opposite and you are clearly his 1st choice, from what i deducted he also just told you that, but since you were/are out of reach he is trying to find other ways, even if it hurts him that they're not you.

don't close your heart up on him, honey. i know you're anxious and in pain, just try to understand his position, alright? you're both hurting a lot but you care for each other deeply and misunderstanding is not something that should be an obstacle, so please, the only way out of it is to talk to each other and be honest. maybe you could consider making some sacrifices to defeat things that stay in your way of saying "yes" , if relationship with him is something you truly want?

[remcycl333]

you don’t need to be happy to be manifest!! but...

who doesn’t want to be happy?

(long post alert, sorry in advance lol. but please read it all the way through, i really think it’ll be worth it<3)

ok, to preface this, you don’t need to be happy to manifest. i’ve manifested great, positive things while i was in depressive episodes. i manifested wonderful things with tears streaming down my face. BUT, i think something a lot of people overlook is that it’s really beneficial to feel positively about your desires.

this is something i realized a few months ago, saw great results from, and then forgot all about and, well, stopped seeing the progress i wanted. but i’m back on track now, don’t you worry.

(i’m going to be using the example of my sp, bc that’s what i have the most experience with, but this applies to literally anything u r manifesting) 

i’ve made a few other posts saying pretty much what i’m about to say in this next paragraph, so if you’ve already read those, i’m sorry for repeating myself. just bear with me lol. 

so i came to a realization a few months ago--and i don’t exactly remember how i came to this realization--that i kind of...hated my sp? like i fucking resented him. and i was like, wait a minute, that’s not right. i love my sp. that’s why i’m trying to manifest him! so why do i feel like this?

i used to focus on manifesting in steps, so naturally the first step was contact. so i’d be affirming all day every day “my sp is texting me right fucking now😡“ (and other variations) and then when he didn’t text me, it’d just make me angry at him. but technically, he didn’t even do anything wrong?? sure he didn’t text me, but he had no clue he was supposed to? idk it was all complicated and weird. and then when i wasn’t mad that he didn’t text me, i was having arguments with him in my head, preparing for some weird fight that my brain just assumed was going to happen whenever we did get into contact. which is weird, bc my sp and i never fight. like, this is my ex. yet i literally cannot tell you a single fight that we have ever had. we literally get along perfectly. we have never fought (or even argued) once in all the time that we’ve known each other. yet my brain was always fighting him. and it was just, exhausting?

and so one day, when i was troubleshooting, i realized: rem, if you were in a relationship right now with your sp, would u hate him? would u be constantly fighting with him? god i fucking hope not! 

now, what would i be thinking? i’d be laying in bed at night, hugging my pillow, thinking about how much i love him. reflecting on how happy he makes me, how perfect he is, how good he makes me feel. i’d be thinking about how he is the most perfect boyfriend i could ever have asked for. i’d be content after spending a long day with him, excited to spend the next day with him as well. 

and during the day i wouldn’t be wondering why he wasn’t texting me. if anything, i’d be wondering why he was texting me considering we were literally hanging out, together, at that very moment! 

i would trust him. i’d be walking on cloud nine. i’d be content. i’d be...happy. 

now, in no way am i saying that you need to be happy 24/7, or dancing on air, or feeling intense butterflies in your stomach. you’re allowed to have other emotions. you’re allowed to feel anger, you’re allowed to break down and cry! you’re allowed to have bad days. but if you’re feeling these negative emotions about your desire, i want you to try your hardest to release them. i don’t think any of us want to have breakdowns over our manifestations and cry about them, but if it happens, it happens. just pick yourself up afterwards--or stop it before it even really begins, trust me, it gets easier to do this--and maybe do a few deep breaths to calm yourself down, and remind yourself why you’re on this journey in the first place. once again using the sp example, it’s because you love your sp. because they are perfect for you! they make you happy. you love their smile, their laugh, the witty conversations you have with each other. you love being in their arms.  you love when they’re in your arms! they did something that made you fall in love with them, or want to be in a relationship with them. what was it? focus on that. 

enough with the sammy ingram (i could go on a whole rant about her) style affirmations. with the “he’s going to fucking text me, he has no choice, he’s my fucking boyfriend and he does what i say.” like....ew?? i used to say shit like this, and it was really what started making me resent my sp. i was ordering him around in my head, creating this weird dynamic between us (which, he wasn’t even aware was there), and getting mad when he wasn’t doing what i was ordering him to do. looking back, it was borderline psychotic. it was just turning it into me against him, and that’s not what i wanted at all. i want to be in a relationship with him, with mutual love. i don’t want to be his boss, or his mom, or his fucking military sergeant!! (i don’t even know if that was the proper term bc fuck the military, but u guys know what i mean lmfaooo)

(disclaimer if u use these types of affirmations and they work for you, go for it. but i used them for a while and they just weren’t it for me. carry on)

i guess what i’m trying to say is, those affirmations weren’t making me feel good. they weren’t making me feel like a “boss ass bitch”. they were making me feel...like a bitch. and strangely, powerless. i’d say these affirmations, or just bland ones where i wasn’t necessarily demanding my sp to throw himself at my feet and kiss my shoes and tell me he is nothing without me, and ultimately, if i wasn’t feeling resentment, i was feeling...nothing. 

once again, i want to make this so so so clear, you don’t need to be happy to manifest. but my belief? if your affirmations aren’t making you feel joy, or excitement, or contentment, then what’s the fucking point? if you think of your desire, and don’t feel positive feelings about it, then you might have lost your way a little. 

don’t worry!! it’s an easy fix. easy, and even...fun? rewarding? comforting? i just want you to take some time--laying in bed at night is the perfect time to do this in my experience--to think about why you want your desire so badly. do you want money? think of how great life is going to be once you have it. of all the stuff you’re going to buy, for yourself, and maybe even for others. don’t focus on the problems you want to fix with it right now. think of that clothing item you’ve had your eye on, or that book you’ve been wanting to read but haven’t felt like “wasting” money on. think of how excited you are to buy those things, because you’re going to! think of the good. not the bad.

remember: you create more of what you focus on. focus on the good, get the good. focus more on the bad...get more of the bad. 

your manifestation is done. it is created. it is on it’s way to you. it is here! all there’s left to do is feel excited. it’ll be here any moment now, how fucking exciting is that! it’s safe for you to be happy. it’s safe for you to focus on the feelings you would have if you had it, rather than focus on affirming specifically to bring it to you. it is safe to be happy. 

i used to affirm solely for contact, all day every day, and sometimes i’d get it. but it’d be short lived, my sp would be distant, etc. but then once i started focusing on truly living in the end and basking in my love for my sp, thinking about how perfect and amazing he is, i not only got contact (without having to specifically affirm for it), but he was actively engaged in our conversations, making up new topics to keep the conversation going, asking me about and expressing interest in my hobbies and interests, bringing up and reminiscing on old memories of our previous relationship, complimenting me, flirting with me, asking me to hang out, etc. shit i was not getting when i was “he is so fucking in love with me and he’s texting me right fucking now”-ing all day long. i started focusing on how amazing and perfect and good to me he was, and that’s exactly what i got in my reality. who would’ve thunk? 

and you know what? yeah, he fucking loves me. he misses me and he wants to be with me. but that’s a given. but that doesn’t fucking matter. i am the only person who matters in my reality!! sure he loves me, but do i love him??? that’s what the universe wants to know. that’s what truly fucking matters. the universe brings me my desires. so i’m gonna fucking desire it! 

guys, please trust me on this. just try it out, with whatever you’re manifesting. this could be what you’re missing. this could bring your manifestation to you. i promise, if you’re like i was and feel resententment or anger or hatred towards your desire, this is going to make you feel so fucking good. just stick with this for a week or two. i promise, you’ll see movement.

and remember, there is no one to change but self. don’t change them (or it), change your perception of them (or it). 

let’s make manifesting fun again!!! it’s the perfect tool to bring happiness into your life. so fucking let it!!!! 

so no, you don’t need to be happy in order to manifest. but....maybe, just maybe, prioritizing your happiness isn’t such a bad thing. i mean, who doesn’t want to be happy?

[haitanic]

Poly Relationship With KamiShin

I adore the idea of being in a relationship with these two, I just think it would be so good and I love them both so much. This ended up being way longer than I had planned but I could have kept going so I’ll probably write more like this.

Masterlist

SFW above the cut, NSFW below

SFW

Warnings: swearing, mentions of violence? (the boys being protective of you/defending you)

This relationship would just be one big meme

You and Kaminari clowning together

You and Shinsou laughing at Kaminari’s dumbassery

Until it goes to far and you realize he’s going to hurt himself and you both frantically go “nOooO DeNKi!!!”

Pranks

These two are in a prank war and you are on both teams

So it’s basically just you messing with both of them

They’d pull pranks on you too but it would always be really little silly things, never to the extent they’d do to each other

Neither of these men sleep

Please god make them go to bed

I mean if you’re someone who also stays up all night then oh god this is just a disaster, the three of you will never sleep 

If you’re someone who goes to bed at a reasonable time please drag them with you

I don’t think it would be hard to drag them to bed honestly, they’re both way to soft

Like if they were gaming together but you wanted to go to bed, they’d try to say they were going to keep gaming but the second you say please and ask them to come cuddle you the controllers are on the table and they’re crashing into bed with you (simps)

They literally can’t say no to you

With anything, literally anything you want is yours

These men adore you and want to take care of you

Truly just two men that I hc as drinking there respect juice

But it’s more than that, like more than respect, it’s adoration

I think when they get into a relationship with someone the feelings are strong, to share themselves with someone like that they’d have to love and trust them so much

They’d spoil the shit out of you, but you better do the same for them

And when I say spoil I don’t mean spend a bunch of money, just bring them little things and do cute things

Like bring Shinsou coffee and Denki snacks

Give Denki a $1 Pikachu sticker and tell him it reminds you of him

Show your love with memes, they will cry, you’re too perfect

Send Denki silly memes and go “dis u?” he’ll love you so muchand think its so cute

Send Shinsou cute, lovey, cat memes, like meme of a little kitten with a sappy message over it

They’re both definitely very teasing S/Os, like you’d all just be making fun of each other constantly but it’s with LOVE

Consensual bullying 

But they’d never comment on something you’re actually insecure about, they know what’s too far and they’d never go there

(If you’re like me and someone who likes to be affectionately teasing with S/Os and friends please make sure you have boundaries established and you know what is ok to tease about and what actually hurts, communication y’all, ok back to your regularly scheduled programming)

I’m gonna be honest, y’all would eat so much takeout, neither of them can cook for shit

actually that’s a lie, Shinsou can cook, he just doesn’t want to

If you can cook and enjoy it please make them meal at least a few times a week

Please teach them healthy habits

Make them go to bed, make them go outside, force feed them veggies and water please just take care of them because they don’t know how to

I mean don’t force them. like please don’t try to change them, but express your concern about their unhealthy habits and try to help if that makes sense

Ok but they are so protective, anyone who tries to mess with you better be prepared to catch hands

They’d both be so goofy with you but if anyone tries to mess with you they are stone faced in a second and ready to rock someone's shit

You are perfect to them and they won’t let anyone say otherwise

Oh and if someone said something about the three of you being together, god help them

Actually don’t, no one help them, they deserve it, not sorry

The cuddles are IMMACULATE

The positions are always changing but it’s always so good

You in the middle either with both of their heads on your chest or facing one and being a little spoon to the other

Shinsou in the middle with both you and Kaminari resting your heads on his chest, you and Kami would be holding hands and you’d all just alternate giving each other little pecks

Kaminari in the middle facing Shinsou with you big spooning him... yes please

You all just want to make sure you’re all happy, it would be so supportive and goofy and just happiness

This relationship feels like sunshine

NSFW BELOW THE CUT. MINORS DO NOT INTERACT. 18+.

NSFW

Warnings: dom/sub themes, degradation and praise kinks, sadomasochism and pain kinks, vouryerism, overstim/edging, literally just fucking flithy y’all

Please note that the things I headcannon only apply if it’s something you consent to.

oof

oh god

This is gonna be nasty

But so good

I’ve seen different people say different things but my personal opinion is that Shinsou is a dom (a hard one) and Kaminari is a switch

And yes, Shinsou calls you both his kittens, you cannot change my mind, I don’t care

So there’s a few different ways I see things going

So if both you and Kaminari are feeling like bottoms then Shinsou will gladly dom you both at the same time

Shinsou definitely has a vouyer kink so he would instruct you and Kaminari on what to do to each other while he jut watched his kittens play (stop that felt so filthy to type aaaa)

Once you were both completely worn out then he’d finally step in and have his way with you both

Like I said, he is a hard dom, definitely sadistic

Honestly he’d use telling you and Denki what to do to each other as a punishment, making you overstim or edge each other till neither of you can take anymore and are begging and/or crying

Then he’d come fuck you both into the mattress

This man is going to completely and utterly demolish you (if you’re ok with that of course)

He’d be praising you both but in a way that feels so dirty, he’d degrade you both a bit with words but I think it would mostly be praise, the degrading/humiliating part is what he does to you/makes you do to each other

He’d definitely be pretty rough with both of you (always only if you consent), he’d be manhandling you guys, just throwing you around, pulling hair, choking, a little slapping if you’re up for it (I definitely think Denki is just saying)

But don’t get me wrong, he also knows how to take care of his kittens

Like he can be so soft and giving with you as well, when the situation calls for soft sex this man will give you that and he will give it so good

Just the most gentle, loving praises and soft holds and eye contact and love

Ok, next situation Shinsou and Kaminari both wanting to dom you

ok wait cause there’s actually two ways that could go, if Kaminari is feeling switchy but leaning towards dom then it would be kinda similar to the first situation, with Shinsou telling him what to do to you but he’d just be more dom with it himself and he’d still let Shinsou dom him a bit but not full on, like they’re both domming you but Shinsou takes the lead

Ok but if Kaminari is feeling full dom then god help you

I hope you have the day of tomorrow

Because Kaminari as a dom is also one sadistic mother fucker

I absolutely headcannon Kaminari as being hard and sadistic when he’s domming (I mean he’s a little fucking masochist when hes a bottom)

But yeah if it’s something you’re ok with then these men are going to destroy you

I really can’t stress how ruthless they are when they’re domming together

You’re going to get whiplash from these two because one of them is degrading the shit out of you while the other is telling you the kindest praise

“Look at you, such a filthy little whore for us to use”, “You’re so beautiful, doing so good for us baby”

But you never know which ones going to say what and they’re constantly switching roles

Yeah you’re about to get your shit rocked, there’s no other way to say it

Honestly you’re going to be barely conscious by the time they’re finally done

Alright, last variation is you and Shinsou domming Kaminari

Pretty similar to when he’s domming you with Kaminari but y’all switch places

Just demolishing little subby baby Denki

I talk about how much of a little subby baby he is in my nsfw hcs for him

As much of a sadist as he is when he’s domming completely switches to masochism when he’s a sub

He will cry and beg and he loves it, he will literally beg you two to hurt him like a whiny little boy

Baby just wants to be completely destroyed and fucked out

Gee, can you tell I’m a switch

Regardless of how it goes down the sex would honestly be so good because both of them are very giving partners

I mean don’t get me wrong, they’re gonna tease the shit out of you, but they’re both very focused on making sure all three of you feel amazing

The aftercare, oh god the aftercare

Always so cute and sweet

Doesn’t matter who topped and bottomed

Cuddles and words of affirmation for all of you, just all three of you giving and getting love

If any of you are in subspace or roughed up or out of it or whatever then whoever isn’t will give you everything you need whether that's a hot drink or a nice bath or some lotion or whatever

You all just take such good care of each other because this is a relationship built on mutual love, adoration, and respect

This got a little out of hand, much longer than I thought it was going to be, my bad. 

[suffering-and-happy-about-it]

Nicole’s Ramblings: ✨ Ethan Winters deserved so much more ✨

In the last few weeks, I’m rewatching Markiplier’s playthroughs of RE7 and RE: Village. And an opinion started to form inside my head - the further I’ve watched, the stronger the opinion got. Honestly, I watched these games being played by multiple people (I just love having creative noise in the background) and this was the first time this shit hit me.

But before I get to say what I think, it would only be fair to explain my personal relationship with this particular game franchise:

Personally, we were a Silent Hill household, and Resident Evil games weren’t a big part of my childhood, so please, I am in no means any sort of an expert regarding this super convoluted storyline and timeline, I just know there’s some sort of Umbrella Company baddies and that Milla Jovovich portrayed the main character in the first movie (which, in all honesty, is one hell of a nostalgic blast for me and one of my all-time favorite horror movies). And… Yeah, people mutate because of T-Virus and they turn into zombies, and then there’s some G-Virus? That’s where any sort of extended knowledge regarding the game series ends.

Now, let’s move to the protagonist of Resident Evil 7 and 8, the one and only Ethan Winters, and why I think he deserved better. I’ll explain why some of it doesn’t make sense to me, but don’t forget this is just an opinion and you don’t have to agree at all.

Ethan Winters. Your normal everyday guy. He’s your neighbor, he’s someone you can bump into anytime; in the downtown, in the restaurant or Home Depot, wherever. Why? Cause he’s just your regular normal everyday motherfucker (author’s notes: if you know the song, I think it suits Ethan perfectly). This guy’s charm lays in him being so normal. He comes to save the day, whips out his ✨  enormous big dick energy ✨ and murders all the bad guys in his way, one by one. Doesn’t matter if it’s the Bakers possessed by Eveline or if it’s Miranda and her lords, Ethan is literally the definition of ‘man literally too angry to die’ and he will make them all perish. And I think he deserved so much more, he deserved better and a lot of it is Mia’s fault, and here is why:

Why the fuck did he go after Mia after that ship video log?

I cannot seem to empathize with this decision made by Ethan and I also know that I am biased against Mia cause I simply cannot stand her. First off, I know Mia was manipulated into sending the video by Eve. I also know and realize that Mia was his wife, I know he loved her insanely much and that he suffered when she allegedly died on the tanker that had crashed during the hurricane (not sure if Ethan was even aware of what happened). She disappeared for three years, right? And I realize that everyone needs their time to mourn and that the pain never truly passes away... But he thought she was missing (without any explanation in that matter), maybe even thinking she died. What would I do if I got to know that my wife not only lied to me for possibly the entirety of our marriage but then she also suddenly fucking disappears for 3 entire years? I’d make sure I take my time to mourn, make myself feel better, start living step by step, and  ✨ I’d fucking move on ✨. What if Mia sent the video to a completely different, changed man who moved on - what if she sent the video to this Ethan Winters? What if she contacted a new, changed man? What if Ethan met a new, amazing girlfriend, then proposed to her, settled down, and started anew? What then? Would he still just storm off to Louisiana just like that? 

And just by the way - Ethan is not ugly, he’s actually quite handsome... So don’t tell me there was not one single woman who’d be interested in him.

But okay, canonically, he did what he did and it was what needed to be done to put the story in motion.

Why, in the name of Lord, did he stay with her AFTER Louisiana?

Now, after everything that happened, Mia and Ethan are saved by no one other than Chris Redfield (hooray!). We know she’s a liar and that she was living a double life. We know Mia has tons of shit to explain and Ethan won’t leave until he listens to all the shit. All of it. Okay, let’s say she explained herself and everything that happened and that she was really sorry and mentally exhausted. They are strangers now - Mia lied, was completely absent (held hostage by Eve), and also is the source of all the shit coming Ethan’s fucking way.

Sure, I get that he had to stay under Umbrella’s little eye (since he came to contact with the mold), but why on Earth did he stay with that woman? They loved each other, but was that love this great? Sure, it could be, but... It just doesn’t seem too logical for me to stay with her. All of the above, I’d be repeating myself.

She continues lying and keeping things away from him. And also, Village happens, having Ethan die just to protect his daughter, whom he loves above all.

This wife, aight. This bitch has the audacity, she has the nerve... Goddamit, just gimme a gun and I’ll finish the deed myself because she's the cause of everything going down. She doesn’t learn throughout the time skip, she still lies to Ethan, she still doesn’t tell him everything that is going on, and then, when she gets swapped by Miranda - Ethan doesn’t even fucking notice? That speaks volumes about what Mia is like.

Keep in mind Miranda probably didn’t know how Mia acts at home, she probably had really sporadical access to modern technologically, she couldn't know how Mia talks to Ethan and she didn’t have her memories - and her own husband, the one who vowed to spend his entire life by Mia’s, side doesn’t see a difference? Don’t forget he witnessed Louisiana - by the logic of things, he’s probably noticed something being out of place like that, right?

No. No, he doesn’t. Ethan just goes 'aight' - and then she's "killed". To be fair, Ethan could've been overlooking it just because this pour soul wanted to take a breath and have a normal life; he was struggling with trauma (to be fair, Mia was surely too), they just moved to the other side of the world, and they had a newborn that was undergoing some monitoring and testing since Umbrella must've known that Rose is a mold baby. And... In addition to that, Ethan isn't the brightest bulb. I digress. But holy fucking shit. I don't think he'd notice anytime soon - God knows for how long was Miranda fucking around his house. And he was like 'okay wifey, let's have dinner!'.

Then, when this is said and done, Ethan goes on a rampage once more - just to find he has a mold baby with Mia (that had been to cut into fucking flasks and), that he HIMSELF is made out of the mold (which Mia clearly "forgot" to mention to Ethan since, again, she has a tendency to lie and don't tell things) and that HE FUCKING DIED, BEING KILLED BY JACK BAKER IN 2017. THAT HE IS DEAD FOR 3 YEARS ALREADY. I digress and once again, I wanna remind you that Ethan is not the brightest - but did he just think that re-attaching limbs at will are normal? He got his hands sawed off, torn off, his entire skull got crashed... How the fuck didn't he figure out he's fucked up too?

And this, all of this, ultimately leads him to his death in the village. 

While he could’ve lived a full, beautiful life. 

___

That's my 3 points about why Ethan Winters deserved so much more. And that Mia is actually the driving force behind all the conflicts. I try to understand her side of the story and her troubles, but I... I just find it so hard to sympathize.

✨ Ethan winters is the world's best dad and deserved better. ✨